#think i'm gonna go for this drama one which I think is about writing stage plays ? their wording is always whack so idk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

naviculariis · 4 months

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Okay so. Serious post time. I'm gonna put this entire thing under a cut, but I'm also gonna post some TWs here: medical malpractice, uncertain diagnoses, family trauma / drama, grief, anxiety rambles???

But I am gonna take like. A semi-hiatus, just so I can catch up on what I owe.

I haven't talked about this over here, or on Tumblr in general. Only one person who follows me here knows about this bc we're friends on another platform.

So.

Y'all have noticed, my days don't follow a set schedule. I've been unemployed since my campus suddenly closed with very little warning back in '22. Immediately after that closing, we took a small trip to MS to be with family for Christmas, and that trip was... Bad. And on the 1st of last year, I had an accident- i was taking down Christmas lights and fell and busted open my head. I had an untreated, late diagnosed concussion thar no one really... followed up on, and have had slight memory loss even now from it.

So I couldn't work until my head healed up from that.

But that's not the medical thing. That is my mother. In October 2021, my mother went in for a routine stint placement that resulted in loss of almost total blood flow to her left leg for 36 hours. They almost had to amputate, she almost died on the table twice, she was hospitalized for a year. ( we've tried the legal route, but because the doctor never admitted fault on paper, he cannot be held liable & suing hospitals is... Difficult. Even though she has permanent damage, can no longer feel anything below the knee, and has to wear a brace to walk. ) My mother already had a weak heart to begin with due to years of smoking + cardiac disease. This was the first nail, essentially. This damaged her heart... a lot.

Back to the concussion. 4 days after my concussion, she had a massive heart attack that nearly killed her. She flatlined twice on the table. It was after this that we got confirmation that she is in congestive heart failure. My grandfather died from it. It's

... It's hard. We don't know which stage she's in because her cardiologist won't tell us, but we think she's in stage 2, or maybe 3. We don't know. But because of this, I am the one who takes care of 95% of everything around the house & outside. I do lawncare, I do the planting, I do the garden. She can do a lot, still, but when her heart gets going- it's painful. So I've been her caretaker since 2021 when the initial accident happened.

My grandmother is nearly 90 and has... Many health problems but somehow is also doing better than most folks I know. She's a mystery. And my aunt had a double knee surgery but somethings wrong with her knees, and they think the surgeries rejected, so she can't get around well or drive longer than an hour away. My grandmother no longer drives & isn't renewing her license. My mother can drive, but we don't want her to unless ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.

So I'm the only one who can drive them around.

I have my own medical issues [ anxiety, depression, type 1 diabetes, cracked tailbone that never got treatment & is giving me hell for that- ]

So. Basically. A lot of my time isn't my time. And when I do have free time, I do try to write and chat as much as I can. At night, after I get mom to bed, I call my partner warner and we get a few hours together and then we have to go to sleep bc we're in a ldr & their timezone is an hour ahead of mine.

... I'm rambling.

It's just. It's hard sometimes. And a lot of the time I sort of sit on my back porch and cry because I'm doing this- physically- alone. Literally everyone else is 4+ hours away across the state. Or 9 hours south on the Gulf Coast, or 7 hours south in Louisiana.

I do try to stay on top of things the best I can, I really really do, but things slip through my fingers. I'm gonna try my best to get all caught up over this coming week, I think. But if my responses are delayed for threads, for discord messages- chances are, I'm busy with one of my lil ol' ladies.

On top of all of this, I live in a town of less than 900, the nearest city is 45 minutes in any direction, and the nearest BIG city is 2+ hours in any direction. Finding a job that isn't in Healthcare is impossible. And I have nothing against those who are in healthcare- I applaud you. But all of my trauma can be tied back to hospital ERs and any time I step foot into a hospital, I immediately have anxiety & can only hear the night we learned about my dad. So I physically cannot force myself to go into that field.

Which is... a whole other thing, this is getting too long. But I've been searching for a job for the past year and a half, have had 5 interviews, each one ended with "thanks for interviewing! However,". It's hard.

So I just.

My plate is a lil bit full. But I love writing. I love the rpc. It'sa comfort and a joy and I love meeting new friends and making new connections and I want to do this as long as I can but sometimes things get a little slow. That's all.

... anyways yeah. Semi hiatus. Cool.

#𝕻𝖊𝖙𝖆𝖑𝖘 𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖜𝖎𝖓𝖉: [ o o c ]#tw: medical #tw: grief #tw: family problems #tw: anxiety #[ if ive missed a tw im so sorry i genuinely dont know what else to tag w/ a warning here ]

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sweetshelluvaau · 5 months

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wait when was fizz ooc /gen

like tbf we didnt know a lot about him off-stage before oops so even tho he wasnt what he expected i wouldnt necessarily say it was ooc

same for ozzie

Maybe ooc isn't exactly the right term (at least in Oops case, the Mammon episode, oh he was completely ooc imho. I explained my thoughts about this here) more than how the narrative has everyone in the show be like 'isn't Stolas great?' and just defending him like Fizz you barely even know the guy! That or the writers fear that they can't write an abuse victim which happens to also be a horrible person. They have to be the 'prefect victim'. They took Fizz's bite away in the Mammon episode where he couldn't stand up for himself let alone have these insecurities he didn't have before out of no where?

Fizz not being able to protect himself physically? Okay I can buy that he's not a fighter. Fizz walking on eggshells around Mammon? Completely understandable being he's both his idol and his boss. But I'm sorry he wouldn't have sit there and take Glitz and Glam insults without snapping back? He'd also chew out that obsessed fan as well (which would also show how he grew from a timid teenager to a Snarky Shit). Yeah he may get a word from Mr. Christmas Tree after for the fan thing, but with G&G? C'mon, a little drama is great entertainment Mammon would eat that shit up if it means more view and money.

However with the case of Oz: He was written as if he was a complete idiot just to make Stolas look better in Oops. Yeah thankfully he didn't kiss Stolas' ass and seems to not like the guy (and I know Viv is gonna recon that in the future because god forbid we have a character that isn't a villain not like Stolas) but the whole thing with the lawyer and and Ozzie making really rash decisions (I mean yes he's hot headed but he's not stupid) and really Stolas NOT needing to be there.

Also saw someone in the critical tag mention this today: I'm sorry, Ozzie would sense something is up with Stolas and his 'feelings' for Blitzo. We had this ham fisted consent speech that went over owl boys head and you're telling me a man who's lived for thousands of years and has most likely dealt with some of the worst of humanity and demons Earth and Hell have to offer isn't gonna sense any red flags? And considering how much he hates people like Mammon, I'm sure plenty of the Ars Goetia aren't any better.

In other words Ozzie could smell bullshit from a mile away.

Also I'm ranting about this again for the hundredth time but Ozzie wouldn't sit around listening to some lawyer, he'd go to rescue Fizz himself. The guy can teleport anyways so I'm sure he can easily sneak into Crimson's compound and lay down the smack down like it's no one business because he's a SIn for crying out loud! And maybe after seeing Blitzo keeping Fizz safe and having that conversation with Stolas, Oz would likely just give Blitzo the crystal as a thank you suppose to giving to Stolas to give it Blitzo being again, he's picking up bad vibes.

That or have Fizz deliver it at a later date. After all, it was Fizz who said he 'earned it' and who's word do you think Ozzie is going to take to heart? It sure ain't Hooters.

That being said I'd also blame the fact that the same character can act one way in another episode and then have a completely different personality in the next if it means fitting the narrative. No one character is consistent and can change if it means making a character look better or again, fits the narrative of that said episode. What did they have some character development the last few episodes ago? Never mind that we're back to their old self or better yet, they have a completely new personality all together the fuck?

Honestly, I'm kinda drained from making the same agreements all time. All I wanted was a silly demon show about some silly demon assassins, not whatever the fuck we got now. At this point I just want to focus mostly my AU and other projects.

#ask #here goes sweets off her bullshit again #helluva boss critical #I'm hoping I'm hoping I'm making sense my brain is kinda fizzed out.#...no that was not suppose to be a pun XD

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ktempestbradford · 1 year

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This post is 100% a spoiler for Good Omens Season 2 finale and therefore it's going under a cut

There's a writing craft thing I wanna talk about in regards to the characters.

The thing I absolutely loved about that last bit of the last episode is how it stomps all over several annoying (and, I feel, lazy) tropes one encounters in mostly Western (not exclusively) stories about people who love each other or who realize they have a specific kind of love for each other, and that is:

Not Talking To Each Other

I remember as a kid being really frustrated with the soap operas I was forced to watch (cuz my Gramma babysat me after school) because even at 8 years old I could tell that every conflict could be solved by people having a damn conversation. I thought this was only a problem in soaps and only because they had to keep the drama going 5 days a week every week forever somehow.

Sadly, no.

So when Maggie and Nina come to the shop and tell Crowley that they can't be getting together because it's not the right time but that they did like each other and all they had needed to do was talk to each other honestly, I was screaming:

YES! YAAAS! FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT!

But then I got real nervous when Aziraphale stopped Crowley from saying what he was gonna say because I worried that Crowley then wouldn't say it. Because that's so often what happens, right? The person was gonna make that declaration, say what they feel, be truthful and lay it all out, but something interrupts them, makes them despair or distracts everyone, and then they hold in what we, the audience, know they were going to say. I was honestly prepared for that.

Then it didn't happen.

I about lost it. Even in the moment I realized the tears streaming down my face were only half for the way A and C were being torn apart just as Crowley said out loud what we all knew they both wanted and half for how effing thankful I was to @neil-gaiman for the narrative choice.

Because it's a brilliant one! It's the right one! And it doesn't cause the problem I think writers who make the tropey mistake think it will.

I think that many a writer would have thought that if Crowley said what he said then Aziraphale would have had to choose to stay on Earth with him because his feelings were just as strong, and to choose otherwise meant he didn't want to be with Crowley as badly as Crowley wanted to be with him.

But, as we saw, that is not the case at all. I will forever love Michael Sheen for how he said "Come WITH me!" 😭

With film and TV and the stage writers have to rely on the actor to be able to get this kind of scene across and not just on their own writing skills. It still takes some excellent skills. But this entire scenario could have gone down like a lead balloon if the actors hadn't been so very in tune with the material and each other.

You can accomplish this in prose as well! Because two characters can want to be with each other and also want two very different things out of life. They can talk to each other and Say The Thing, yet still not end up together (for now) if that's where you want the narrative to go.

There are so many annoying ways narratives "usually go" that are based on writers thinking that they can't have characters act in certain ways, otherwise there won't be any conflict or obstacles to move the story along. My biggest pet peeves is characters doing Stupid Things even if they aren't stupid people because the writer needs for them to be stupid to make some plot thing happen.

A recent example: Locke & Key season 1. I'm not going to go into a huge explanation. The short version is that there's a cave by the seashore which is famous in the tiny town for an incident in the pre-smartphone days where some teens went into it not knowing when the tide was going to come in. When it did, the kids were trapped and some drowned.

(This isn't what truly happened, but it's what everyone thinks happened.)

Late in the season, a character gets her friend group to go into that same cave and, lo, they realize they're about to die because the tide is coming in unexpectedly and they lose a bunch of expensive equipment. Because no one, not a one of them, checked when the tide would come in on their smartphones.

Nope. NOPE. I about turned the whole thing off right then because it was the 5th stupid thing a character had done, and it was far too egregious to ignore.

This kind of thing makes characters feel like dolls and action figures being moved around instead of actual people. You can't replace characterization with an action sequence, people.

Because I'm so annoyed with this kind of thing, I actively avoid it in my own fiction. Ruby Finley was the first time I had the space to really work it. There are several points in the story where I needed Ruby and the gang to do something that would move the narrative along, yet not in a way that ignored the realities of their lives and their personalities.

Spoilers for my book ahead.

The first time is when Ruby asks Holly to help use her drone to look in Witchypoo's windows. Holly very sensibly says that they can't go do that willy nilly because the people in the neighborhood will see them. Instead of not thinking it through, the girls formulate a plan to do the thing when they're least likely to be seen.

They get caught, not because they didn't think it through and weren't careful, but because they saw a monster bug and freaked out.

When the kids realize the giant bug is in the basement of the abandoned school, they don't rush in to find it. They formulate a plan that covers the dangers they assume they're facing. When it goes wrong it's not because they weren't prepared, but because they didn't have all the information they needed to truly assess the situation.

I find it so much more interesting and compelling when characters are thwarted even when they act wisely -- or think they're doing so. Just as I find it more compelling and heartbreaking when characters actually talk to each other and say what they need to say and they're still torn apart (if they need tearing apart! I'm also fine with them making declarations and then being happy as long as it didn't take 50 million years/pages for this to happen).

Bottom Line: Can we have more of this please? Let's have fewer stories about characters not talking, not thinking, not being smart, not doing what an actual person would do simply because the writer won't let go of their idea of how the plot is supposed to go or unwilling to add the emotional context that allows the plot thing to happen even without the Nots.

#writing craft #craft nattering #characterization #tropes i hope die forever #Good Omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens spoilers #make no mistake neil i do not forgive you for all the tissues used today

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 1 year

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Oh god I just finished Book 2 and it was so bad… I went into this with an open mind just like I did with Book 1 and god did I hate this. Clem just annoyed the hell out of me for the entire book. I liked everyone BUT her, Ricca and Morro. And I don’t even hate Morro she just showed up randomly to say weird ominous shit and then went to do her walker autopsies. Idk… it just sucked so hard. I miss Amos.

I've reread it and I'm working on my review so I won't go into a whole spiel but yeah. I mean, I still think I like Book Two over Book One... until we get to chapter 7. It has the same problem as Book One where the ending is just bad.

Clementine still feels out of character when you compare her to game Clementine, but she's consistent with Book One Clementine. I get what her character's supposed to be and why she's going through these things, why she approaches things the way she does but it makes it hard to enjoy when you have context from the games. I've already seen Clementine grow up and face hardships in the apocalypse, and the games have the advantage of showing all that across four games whereas this series only gets three books, so we don't have time to waste, y'know?

But Morro was the biggest wasted opportunity, like... what a disappointment. When I read it the first time, I was giving my first reactions in chat with Pi and we were both like, "So it's gonna be revealed that Morro's actually doing science experiments on walkers, right?" but no.... she's literally just doing autopsies like c'mon, walker science experiments and abominations would've been amazing!

And Ricca... honestly, I like the idea of Ricca because let's be real, a lot of us wear glasses or contacts or have some sort of vision impairment, myself included, and a zombie apocalypse would suck! If my glasses broke and I had no means of getting a new pair and it's the zombie apocalypse, I'm dead. And Book One set up this interesting story where Ricca's brother was an abuser who purposely broke her glasses so that she had no choice but to rely on him, then when she finally found pair that worked, she left him. But now her eyesight is worsening, and that's scary, that's something I could sympathize with...... but it's almost treated like an inconvenience? Because her and Clementine's relationship is the emotional drama that takes stage and frankly, I don't like clemricca. Not just because it's not clouis. I went into it with an open mind wanting to ship it but... meh.

I don't like how Ricca's like, "I'll wait for you," and then later she gets butthurt because Clementine won't get on the same level as her fast enough. Clementine doesn't owe Ricca anything, y'know? But Ricca is like "I love you, and I know you love me too, but I need you to love me always, not start and stop. It's not fair, you want me to wait for the impossible!?" Stop trying to guilt her when she's clearly not ready for a relationship? I get the frustration but c'mon.

And then there's chapter 9 which... I'm honestly this close to losing my shit with people. I don't think I've ever been as disappointed or disgusted of the fandom than I have seeing people send threats to Tillie on her instagram over chapter 9. She posted about how Book Two released AND she gave birth to her son on Oct 4th, and you go to the comments and there are just people calling her a pedophile and writing threats-

On a post. From Tillie. About the birth of her son. What the hell is wrong with you???

And then there are people just straight up LYING about shit.

I read a comment on reddit where someone compared Clementine Book Two to 50 Shades of Grey because there's an explicit sex scene and uhm NO??? There's absolutely nothing explicit, Ricca is not like Christian Grey like?? What the fuck is wrong with you? It's like these people read the summaries on the wiki- WHICH BY THE WAY if any of you happen to see this screenshot circulating anywhere-

^this is not a real quote, this is obviously fake.

Please don't mindlessly believe people on the internet about shit, especially when they themselves haven't actually read it.

Anyway, it's like people read the wiki summaries and decided to spread false and exaggerated information about the comic because they want to paint it in the worst light possible to trick people and it's working and I'm so...UGH.

Sorry to nosedive into this but it pisses me off. There's a lot to discuss about chapter 9- shit, there's a lot of criticism to be had with Book Two, and I will go over everything in my review, but for right now I'll just say yep, Book Two isn't very good.

I miss Amos, too.

#asks #twdg clementine #clementine book two #i'm so upset with the fandom on reddit and instagram #which is stupid because they're not worth it but my brain can't comprehend it like why are all of you like this? who hurt you?#also when i would going through reddit i found someone misquoting *me* which was the wildest thing? i don't have a reddit account sksksk #but then i happen to find a comment like 'she said this' and that's not what i said?? unreal i can't #i knew book two's release would bring a shit storm but oh my god at this point i hope tillie just kills clementine off in book three #as a final fuck you #i know she won't because clem's no use to skybound dead but it would be so fucking funny #i don't think anyone but me would find it funny though i think people would rage and ruin my fun #anyway in-depth review to come but feel free to send in asks about it

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giftedpoison · 5 months

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Y'all.

So like I'm absolutely unhinged and can never like something a normal amount.

Like ever.

But I got a job stage managering for a Renaissance faire near me in the summer. And also they asked me to help with a weekend event where I will be stage managering for a bunch of bands.

Sick right?

And like I've never done anything like this before. (And therefore no idea if I'm gonna enjoy it but I'm convinced that stage managering is actually my divine calling of sorts- specially for musicians but not limited to there. Which is mostly because it feels like something clicked into place. Like it feels right this feels like something I should be pursuing.)

But because I'm an academic with a hatred for the confines of real schooling at heart, I started doing research about what a stage manager should know (not to prepare for the jobs which are expecting me to be completely green) and the thing about a stage manager is they should have an understanding of all aspects of things that go into live performances.

So a music stage manager will understand the needs of a vocalist or an instrumentalist or the tech people as equally as possible and so forth.

And a theatre stage manager should comprehend actors needs, lighting needs, director needs, etc etc.

And as someone who has been in music and theatre most of my younger years less so since high school (couldn't keep up with my peers major L) I'm not completely alien to the world. (In fact I always say my first two loves were the written word and the performing arts) (plus I once went the trajectory of trying to become fight director back in 2020 which led to lots of research of that field shocker.)

ANYWAY

Now I'm like actively absorbing all the books I can find that has anything to do with film, theatre, and music.

And am currently reading Drama High by Michael Sokolove and The Music Never Stops by Peter Shapiro.

And I have a running list of documentaries to watch about different histories of music (specifically ones I'm less familiar with like blues and hip hop and opera but not limited)

And I'm trying to get back into practicing martial arts on my own.

And I have shows I want to see and events I want to go to.

BUT THESE BOOKS IM READING MAN. They get it.

Reading Drama High is so wild because I'm learning about these kids who would otherwise be mostly unknown other than this book and I just feel so deeply connected to them.

Courtney Meyers has my whole heart from that book. Like this quote about her "Taking the job at Georgine's felt like a death sentence. But theater is not an escape. In some ways, it is the opposite of that- it brings her closer to the true self she thinks she might be, or could become."

Georgine's is a diner that her mother and grandmother works at so she felt destined to repeat that. And as someone who also came from a small town and felt like I had nothing going for me and that I was doomed to job hop retail jobs like my parents and never quite get by enough? It resonated with me. It also resonated with me about her feelings on theater. Like music, writing, and theatre sure was a form of escapism but it was also always a form of self expression a way to pull out pieces of myself from the written word and look at my own reflection.

Even growing up id always want to play angry or villainous characters (to this day I think about how my theatre teacher passed me over for Morgana in sleeping beauty to give it to my twin who hated it, in 5th grade) because I wanted a safe space to express all this anger I had at a world that refused to listen. But not only that the confusion I had. The world was so achingly confusing and social cues confused me and the written word helped me try to unravel this confusion.

And don't even get me started on music. When I am in a venue listening to a band suddenly nothing else matters. When I am surrounded by people actively pursuing music I have both feelings of inadequacies but also at home.

When I see a concert I don't want them to perform to me like it's their job- I want to see you having fun and enjoying it even if you've been doing it for 20 years (I really see Ice Nine Kills as a shining example of this, but they are one of thousands however they are my only core experience as they are like one of few bands I've seen multiple times. And even tho it's clearly a performance as we get (fake!)killings on stage it's also for the love of horror and for the love of song. It has to be or they wouldn't be rocking the horror world with their very own convention that could very well be the next Spookyworld. If you're curious what I mean here's my review of their last convention where I explain that very concept.)

Theatre and Music are two loves I have that feel equal parts untouchable while also constantly being all around me.

And I don't know where I was going with this but I guess consider this the ramblings of someone in love with the arts who fears the arts will never love her back but she keeps trying to find her place anyway.

#im also specifically only checking books out from the library or reading books i have already that relate to music or theatre #as a starting point #art #theatre #martial arts #music #horror #ice nine kills #love letter to arts #dont mind me just rambling #writing #drama

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gimblegamble · 6 months

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Gonna do another write up about a project I planned that never really went anywhere.

Welcome, friends, to the BTM band AU post

What is it?

Band AUs are definitely considered classics when it comes to fandom alternate universes and this one's... definitely a band AU i guess.

BTM is a band consisting of Grian (or Griande) on vocals, Impulse on drums, Pearlo on the keyboard, and Scar on guitar. There are a couple more stragglers sometimes but we'll get to that. As for their style it... varies?

Well, it depends. if its 'Grian' on the mic, they can range from the usual pop-punk or emo, maybe even rock if the mood calls for it-- but if its 'Griande' they usually go for ska or funk. This is when they get a couple more peeps to fill in the sound.

They get a brass section! Tango and Zedaph from Impulse's old college marching band "The Moonlighters" and they round it out with Gem, one of Pearl's old housemates when they tried living in one of those content houses with the Empires collective (they still collab tho). They play the trombone, the trumpet, and the saxophone (small stature, big lungs).

The band meets Mumbo after a gig. They were winding down in their favourite bar/cafe "The Hermit" when Scar very loudly and unabashedly asked who the "eye candy" was to the owner, Xisuma. Turns out, dude was just fired from his job and Xisuma took him in as a part-time bartender/barista, he wasn't the best at it but at least he stopped breaking Xisuma's fancy martini glasses a couple days in.

They asked if he was looking for a full-time job and he said yes. He asked if he knew anything about management and he said 'eeeeeeeeh' which they took as a kind of yes and hired him on the spot. With BTM's popularity growing, they needed a proper manager and not just rely on Grian (whose biggest problem would be his impulsiveness) and Impulse (who'd probably work himself to death if the mood was right).

So whats the plot?

It was supposed to be an ask blog first and foremost. Half of the information up there (and more) was supposed to be slowly drawn out by ask box questions. The format was supposed to look like members of the band being interviewed by the person asking, kind of like the latter half on that one mumriande gif I made (which is one of the stuff I made with this AU in mind lol)

There was supposed to be a mystery to uncover, then solve. There was supposed to be some drama and angst. Some moving pictures and animation memes, animatics even. I even have a playlist sorted!

So what happened?

Nothing really. It was nice thinking about making it but at the end of the day I am but a tired, easily distracted human being. I just made this post because there's a lot of nice details in this that I wanted to share, like the Hermitland post ages ago.

And not like I'm not gonna make things in the AU anymore but the ask blog's probably never going to see the light of day.

Some Fun Stuff

The fans never know what genre of songs they're going to walk in on, at least until they see if it's Grian or Griande holding the mic, but even then they sometimes do a double whammy and have Grian sing funk songs and Griande pop it up.

They're rivals with this experimental metal/electronic/acoustic fusion duo called Octagon. They play it up a lot on stage, but this one time someone from BTM really misunderstood something that made a good angsty bit.

There's this couple who met at a concert. One of em was really hoping for a night of funk while the other wanted some throwback alt rock. They talked before BTM's set started and really hit it off! They didn't even mind whoever came out to sing that night.

There was a group of fans who made a banner that said "We love you _____" and just had velcro patches with 'Grian' and 'Griande' embroidered on them.

There was supposed to be another, more secret ask blog for other more secret (👀) asks.

Conclusion

So yeah, band AU, that is all.

Thank you for reading!

#gim gabs #gim's wordy bits #hermitcraft #boatem #hermitship #edit: also... yeah #the fact that my stuffs not quite... interacted with? in a sense?#I'm used to it by now but imagine if i set this whole thing up back then and just... not get any asks lmao

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babiebom · 1 year

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Im a Bit curious about who your favorite characters are from the fandoms your writing for (also love your taste in kpop)

PS: k-drama recommendation

- Strong Woman Do Bong Soon

- Until we meet again (it's thai but still good)

- The sadness (Korean film)

- How may I help you

- Mouse

- Lovenest

- Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-joo

- Style (from 2009)

Ohoohoo~ anon you fell into my trap I love ranting about my faves also thank you(x3) for the recs Strong Woman Do Bong Soon is one of my favorite kdramas and Park Boyoung is like my third favorite actress so I already know your taste is good without having seen anything else also putting my faves below the cut because only god himself can stop me now. (I promise I will try to keep this short and sweet)

Warnings: spoilers for some series, cursing, bit of sus wording and thoughts yknow

Stardew Valley

Sebastian (Sebby/Seb/Loml)

Can you tell that I'm a sucker for grumpy bf x sunshine gf tropes????

Honestly along with the reader insert fic in gonna write(lets hope I finish it) I wanna write maybe a Seb x OC or something idkidk

Of the bachelorettes Penny is my favorite bc shes lowkey me (I sometimes teach kids and I want to have a bunch of them love housewife vibes)

In ridgeside so far Phillip is my favorite mostly bc I don't know the others that well amd im only gifting 6 people at a time and he just so happened to get picked he's so cute I love it when people are passionate about something

In Stardew Valley Extended Victor is the loml like yeah he's a rich guy but he also seems like a huge nerd and I love him

Also Claire(the joja mart girl) my tired queen plus

Also in terms of the kids Yuuma>Jas>Vincent>Trinnie>Keahi

Mystic Messenger

At first I was a Zen girl

Then I was a Yoosung girl

Then I was a Jaehee girl

Then I was a Jumin girl

And now I'm in my final form as a Saeyoung girl

I love him so much my man my man

I played this game for MONTHS like I was at school pulling my phone out to hurry through a chat room so i didn't miss anything

Was waking up in the middle of the night

The chokehold these men had on my PLS

Five Nights At Freddy's

Ok so at first i hated this game bc im a crybaby and it scared me so bad

Also bc I had an intense fear of animatronics and people in the mascot suits as a kid after going to chuck e cheese and being terrified of the things om stage and then getting stuck in a ride its a whole thing omfg

But then security breach came out and I was like oh? Why'd they make the animatronics sexy????? So like the first couple of games I dont have a favorite(except i think Chica is ugly dont hate me) bc like theyre kid souls but since the sb animatronics arent ghost kids indo have a favorite

Which is Monty

I love him he is my gator man<3333 also justice for Foxy I know he would've been cute af.

Dead By Daylight

Killerwise Ghostface is my favorite

And I know its a basic bitch answer but omfg that man could be the cause of my demise and I would say thank you

Also Oni is cool

Also trickster is cute

Womanwise for killer the Artist is my favorite shes so pretty I love her

I hate specifically wesker and the twins I feel like i needed to add this BC I hate them so much also Freddy kreuger but like thats obvious bc its included in my rules

Survivors I love are Leon(again basic bitch answer) Jake Park, Dwight, and theres more but i cant remember r n

For women its Nea(I main her), Meg, Ada, Kate, Elodie, again theres more but I cant remember and my brain is hurting

I do not like feng min or whatsherface the kpop manager lady bc of how people play them

Twilight

Team Edward or Jacob?

I am an Emmett girl

I am also a Seth girl

They have been the loves of my life since the movies came out

When I read the books I liked Carlisle the most <3

Honestly twilight making a comeback was the best tike for me bc of all the new content people were making

I love the series pls

Also again Womanwise Rosalie is the loml

Also alice

Also Esme

Also Leah

Pls the women are so amazing

Harry Potter

Also lemme preface this by saying I do not agree with jkr or anything she has been saying

But I did get into this fandom a couple years ago when i was in high school because of a friend

And I do still love the series but now I only consume fanmade things

That being said Remis Lupin has my heart

Also Fred and George

And Cedric

And if anyone wanted to know my house I am a Hufflepuff<3

The Outsiders

Through and through I am a Dallas girl

Can yall tell my type yet?

When reading the book I was also a Johnny girl and I literally wanted the best for him and was so mad When he DID NOT GET IT

Now that I'm older that entire situation is bullshit

Like as a 22 year old that still lives with her family the thought of having to take care of myself plus younger siblings with no help and also have the house where everyone hangs out stresses me out

Like I love my little sister but i am so glad my parents have raised us to have and keep jobs even if we hate it bc I know she would help me with everything

Like I know Soda helped as much as he could but GOD bad situation for everyone

Johnny did not deserve the ending he got

The Walking Dead

Okay so lemme just say that I am into dilfs this is a dilf loving safe space idc

Rick can get it and him being lowkey insane is attractive (do not be like me pls)

Love his long hair

Also had a crush on Carl when he was in the show (he is a year older than me im not a creep)

I have not gotten to later seasons so maybe there are still cute people idk i need to re watch

I also hated Lori and Shane with a passion

I still do

I cannot imagine hooking up with my husbands friend of my friends husband or whateverbskkakslal

I will rant on and on about this it genuinely makes me mad

I do however love Maggie and Peggy(is this her name? The sister?) We love country girls

I am a Michonne simp through and through

I am a simple lady

Cool woman with sword? Count me in

Once Upon A Time

Though I hate Regina I find her so attractive its not even funny

When I was younger i had a huge crush on Peter Pan

Now rewatching I am a Captain Hook Simp

Also Mad Hatter

Also Ruby

Also Graham in season 1 if anyone remembers him

Gawd these men

Ruby number 1 IDC IDC

Also Mulan

PLEASE

I have also not gotten super far in this show

Marvel

I'm gonna just list my favorites bc like I already feel super exposed and im writing all of this in one go bc I am so excited to share but my phone is broken

So number one is Steve im so mad he went back to Peggy but at the same time he deserves happiness

Number two Bucky again im a basic girl and tragic men attract me idk

Peter loml so cute also the only spiderman movies ive seen dont kill me

Wanda love her still have not seen Multiverse of madness last thing i watched is wandavison

Loved pietro

Thor my bb

I cannot think of any more

Doctor Who

I guess this one is going to be different because I have only seen new who and I do not dislike any doctor at all so i guess imma just rank them

9th(watched his season twice once when I was younger and was just getting into the show and then once a couple years ago when I committed to watching the show)

11th

10th

12th

13th(I do not hate her I am just new to her bc I am still on her first season since i procrastinate to make the series last longer)

Then i guess I'll rank the companions bc again I dont really dislike anyone

Martha(best girl i love her so much)

Donna

Amy

Clara

Bill

Yasmine

River(literally going to name a kid River bc of how much i like the name)

Graham

Rose

Jack

Ryan

Nardole

Rory

Mickey

Criminal Minds

Spencer Reid

I have had a crush on this man since 2005

Since I was FOUR YEARS OLD

The first time i saw him I fell in love

No one will compare to my love

Hotch is a close second I do love my dom daddy(I am so sorry for saying this)

Penelope is also my love but in a platonic i would kill someone for her kind of way

Also Emily

White Lotus

Okay so lemme start by saying

Season 2 >season 1

The only people i like im season 1 are Tanya and Belinda

Everyone else are kind of dislikeable

Well the rich guys wife is fine but shes not my favorite

Season 2 however i like like half of the characters

Obviously Tanya is on the list bc she is so funny

But Ethan is my favorite especially later in the season bc again guys like that are my thing

Also Harper but mainly bc of Aubrey

Then Daphne is the loml and she deserves better

And Lucia my bb

And Valentina

And Albie even if he seems like a "nice guy"

Love these characters

WE HATE GREG IN THIS HOUSE

Ouran High School Host Club

Takashi Morinozuka has my entire heart love this man

Honey is just me but male

And Haruhi loml pls shes so cute but also she tries to be the best person I love her

Also Kasanoda(and in the manga the girl he ends up with is kinda cool)

This again should also just be a ranking bc i love all the characters but im gonna limit myself

Kuroshitsuji

Again imma give a basic bitch answer and say Sebastian

I know hes a demon

I know he would hate me bc duh

But pls sir

Give me one chance

Also the undertaker

Also Agni

Also snake and joker

Grelle would be my platonic soulmate shes so funny

I also would like to protect Ciel(not the twin like not the real ciel or whatever I mean our ciel)

Like I understand that he basically siccs his demon on people and had them killed

But at the same time in my eyes he is literally just a traumatized little boy and i feel so bad for him

I know hes fictional but if i could change what happened to him i would

Finny is baby

I have typed for too long pls

Also thank you for asking this<3 feel free to ask other things and request stuff!!

#stardew valley #kuroshitsuji #ouran high school host club #the outsiders #the white lotus #once upon a time #twilight #harry potter #criminal minds #doctor who #mcu #dead by deadlight #the walking dead #five nights at freddy's #security breach #mystic messager #im so sorry #my type is so obvious this is embarassing

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sleepyowlwrites · 10 months

Note

hello, since you oferred advice to the other anon can I get some words of wisdom too? you don't have to, I understand it can be a lot to ask. or maybe just a ear to listen? idk I'mhaving mixed emotions right now because somet things made me realize that even though I like writing, it's only gonna be ever for myself. which isn't a bad thing but I wanted to one day publish something but I find out now that writing is really hard and I don't have the discipline or even much interest it studying how to do it "right" like all the technicalities and stuff. so really I just like the finished product and how it "looks" in my brain more. I do like trying to figure out how to make a story make sense and all the behind the scenes stuff, but I'm rarely able to get to that stage due to being tired and unable to focus/ discipine myself to work.

I was wondering if there was something I could do about it? I mean I guess I need to accept that now when I write it's just gonna be as a hobby and for myself. though, similar to the other anon, I would like to share my writing, I mean I think we all want to share something we make at some point. but I probably have to give up wanting to make any kind of career or even part time thing from writing. I'm just not built for it I guess.

it's hard to accept. I tried developing templates for myself to follow to make it easier but I failed. I've tried many tips and suggestions and advice to write better but I just can't seem to grasp the craft. even reading doesn't help me.

I've thought about writing poetry instead, like you. but even though I like reading it I don't really like writing it much. I prefer to have characterts and drama, typical story stuff. but I struggle when it comes to putting everything together and actually crafting/building the story rather than just tell it.

sorry this got too long, I'm not really sure what I was trying to say, just need to go on a rant. I'm sorry if this was rude of me. thanks for reading if you do and I always like your responses so that's why I reached out, but let me know if I shouldn't do it like this

Had to wait until I got home from work.

So it looks like you understand your situation pretty well, actually, which is great to see.

Writing doesn't have to be a full time thing for you to go the published route. We have several published authors on here who have other jobs! You don't need to devote your whole career to it. It's fine for it to be a hobby and for it to be a hobby that you'd like to pursue a final result in.

If writing is something you enjoy, keep doing it, and if you'd like to progress, you can do it. (You can probably do it. Not everything is achievable for everyone. I will never be able to do advanced math, no matter how hard I try. My brain can't process it. But from what you're saying, your braincan process writing.)

You already know stuff you like or dislike, right? You know the story, just not how to tell it? Here are a few things that have worked for me and my discombobulated brain.

1. Bullet point lists. Just listing off major plot beats in bullet points. It's not an outline, it's not a plan, it's just a list of stuff that happens.

2. Rubber ducking. I pick somebody from something I've watched recently - for a whole there it was Keanu Reeves - and I explain my story to them multiple times so I understand myself how it works. Or not.

3. Draw a map. Not just a land map, but a map of where the characters go and notes on where they're from and what they're doing in each place.

4. Ask games. I make up so much stuff for ask games and some of it even stays canon!

5. Don't try to fit yourself into one mold of one type of writer. Just write whatever. Write one wip or 17. Write short fiction. Write fanfiction. Write one paragraph stories. Write comics with stick figures or rambling prose that goes nowhere.

5. When you read, rewrite it in your head. Edit those books! Pull out a trope you notice and stick it in a story. (A trope is anything as general as "enemies to lovers" and as specific as "traumatized tall girl with a big sword.")

6. Actually rewrite scenes, from any media you like. Choose a new pov. Focus on a particular sense, like touch, or write it in future tense, or change the setting.

7. Write descriptive prose that's not a story. Write something that's only dialogue. Write journal entries. Switch it up.

And sweetheart, if you are unable to focus or enjoy this hobby that is usually a good time for you, I think think the hobby is the issue. There's something else going on in your brain and taking up the space and you don't have room to create.

For instance, I work retail, full-time, and it’s the holiday season, and I'm fatigued and stressed and not currently writing anything. But I was also not writing when it wasn't the holiday season. And I was too fatigued to create then, too. And it's probably because my depression is acting up.

This might not be the case for you. I can't know. But everybody learns differently, and if you're willing to try new ways of learning, you might find the one that works for you! I hope so. I hope that you sit down with your brain and parse through it, taking the time to figure out the style that suits you best.

But mostly I hope you understand that regardless of how your brain functions or doesn't, that you are amazing and trying, because you like this thing, and you don't want to give up on it. So good job. As long as it is a thing that you like, I hope you keep trying. Somewhere there is a method that speaks to you, some way that helps you find the dawn after the dark. I believe you can find it.

Keep going, love.

#sleepy answers #writer encouragement

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thnxforknowingme · 2 years

Text

Plucking Daisy Petals

Rating: T

Word Count: 3300

Summary: Blaine Anderson and Quinn Fabray meet during their first year at Yale, and quickly bond over shared experiences. They become best friends, then roommates, and eventually start dating. Blaine cares for Quinn so much, and everyone else thinks they belong together - so it has to be right, doesn't it?

Notes: This fic is entirely thanks to @forabeatofadrum and her fic Ljubim te, in which Blaine and Quinn are dating before Blaine meets Kurt while in Slovenia. I was super fascinated by the idea of Blaine and Quinn falling into a romantic relationship during college, because they're both so desperate for affection and sort of don't know any better. So Yuè very kindly gave me permission to write a quasi-prequel (and also gave me the idea for the title!). That being said - I created this independently, so it may not entirely line up with the canon of Ljubim te. It's meant to compliment Yuè's story, but her fictional universe is her own, so there may be inconsistencies. This is one of the more niche fics I've written, so I'm super grateful to anyone who takes the time to read it. Sorry there's not much resolution at the end - for that, you'll have to read Ljubim te (which is still a WIP, so even I don't know how it'll turn out!)

The stage lights glared over the dingy, battered folding chairs that were arranged in a large circle. Each of Blaine’s footsteps made a muted thud against the black, wooden surface of the stage as he walked over to a chair. He sat down and pulled out a small notebook. He didn’t know if this was going to be the kind of meeting where notes should be taken, but he liked to be prepared. His chair wobbled unevenly, and he thought briefly that he would’ve expected Yale to have fancier seating options.

“Welcome, everyone!” called out a tall Black woman who stood in the middle of the circle. She was wearing a cardigan that looked handmade, a riot of colorful yarn. “Please take a seat and we’ll get started!”

The last few stragglers who had entered the theater found their way to the uncomfortable chairs, and she smiled out at them all. The student in the center spoke again, catching everyone’s attention. “Thank you for coming! If you somehow ended up here by accident, this is an informational meeting about the Yale Dramatic Association.” She gestured widely as she spoke, turning to project her voice throughout the room. “This is just to help you understand the process of getting involved if you want to become a member, and to start connecting with all you first years who want to contribute to this community. I’m Natalie, I’m a senior and I’ve been involved in theater at Yale since I was a first year, so I’m excited to see you all continuing the tradition! I’m gonna start things off with an icebreaker. I’m sure you’re tired of these already, but if you’re in theater you’re gonna have to get used to them. I want you all here to find a person or a couple people around you to talk to, and tell them why you’re here today. You have five minutes, go!”

The person sitting closest to Blaine was a pretty blonde girl wearing a navy blue dress. She looked liked she could have been a Golden Age Hollywood star.

“Hello,” he said, holding out his hand. “I’m Blaine.”

“Quinn,” she replied, shaking his hand briefly. Her face remained impassive.

“Pleasure to meet you,” Blaine said. “Would you like to start, or should I?”

Her eyes narrowed slightly, and Blaine was struck by the feeling of being put under a microscope. “Go ahead,” she told him.

Blaine nodded and squared his shoulders. “I’ve been performing in choirs and other musical groups for years. I’ve always admired theater but never been involved, and I figure college is the time to try new things. How about you?”

Quinn folded her hands in her lap as she spoke. “I want to study drama,” she said. “I think I’ve been learning how to act like someone else for a long time. I’d like to put that talent to use, and learn how to do it properly.”

“Do you think there is a proper way to do something so creative and personal?” Blaine asked.

She raised an elegant eyebrow. “I suppose I’ll find out.”

“Have you done any stage work before?”

“A little musical theater in high school,” she said. “Ensemble roles. And a lot of singing. I was in choir, too.”

It was easy to continue their conversation based on shared experiences - even more so when they discovered they both came from Ohio. Quinn seemed to soften as they spoke, her posture staying straight but less rigid, her smile growing more genuine. Blaine felt disappointed when they were cut off by Natalie calling for the end of the icebreaker.

Blaine listened diligently to explanations of how the Dramatic Association worked, and to presentations about upcoming student productions and what kind of volunteer help they needed. He took some notes, and put his email on several contact lists. He played theater games and made small talk over catered deli food.

He found Quinn again, but she was in the middle of a conversation with several other girls about hair care routines, and Blaine was pulled away by a guy from his residential college.

When the meeting was officially over and everyone headed for the exits, Blaine caught Quinn just past the first row of seats in the audience. “Hey,” he said, catching her attention. “Could I give you my number?”

She looked back at him, and he once again felt like a specimen being scrutinized.

“I’d love to be friends,” he added, realizing that she could have interpreted his question as a come-on.

Her mask broke, and she smiled. “Sure,” she agreed, pulling out her phone so he could type in his number.

Blaine left the informational meeting feeling like he’d learned and accomplished a lot.

By November, it was unquestionable that Quinn was Blaine’s best friend. They ate together in dining halls, studied side-by-side in the library, stayed up late talking about things banal and profound. Blaine had made other friends, too, but none that he spent as much time with or enjoyed the company of as much as Quinn. Beyond the superficial similarities of their backgrounds, Blaine and Quinn were both ambitious, both craved approval, and were both trained in projecting a smile no matter what they felt underneath. What Blaine loved about Quinn was how they allowed each other to be honest, to admit when they were scared.

They conquered their midterms and finals together. They both crewed on a student production of The Crucible, and Blaine brought Quinn a massive bouquet when she performed a monologue in a first year showcase. They commiserated over family drama during trips home for the holidays. Quinn consoled Blaine when Cooper was in a car accident - he suffered no more than a fractured collarbone, but his trademark overdramatics and lack of communication skills made things seem temporarily dire. Blaine helped Quinn weigh pros and cons when she fell in love with her Global Economies class and ultimately decided to change her major.

And Blaine was there at 11pm on a Friday night near the end of their freshman year, when he heard a rapid knocking at his door and opened it to see a teary-eyed Quinn clutching her purse in one hand and a pair of heels in the other.

“What happened?” Blaine asked - he knew that she’d had a date that night.

“He was just -” she took an unsteady breath, “- a huge jerk.”

Blaine glanced back into his room, where his roommate was engrossed in a TEDtalk about dark matter.

“Let me grab my shoes,” he told Quinn.

They made their way to the buttery in Blaine’s residential college, and Blaine got a smoothie for them to share. Once they were settled at a table in a dim corner, Quinn began to speak.

“It started out nice,” she said softly. “We got dinner, and then we walked back to his apartment to watch a movie. When we got there he mentioned that his roommate was out of town for the weekend. We were sort of cuddling on the couch, which was fine, but then he started - getting handsy.” She paused and took a breath, and Blaine could feel goosebumps forming on his arms. “I moved his hand,” Quinn went on, her words coming more quickly, “told him to watch the movie, and it was fine for a while. Then he started kissing my neck - which, again, was nice, but clearly he wanted to escalate. So when I moved his hand again and told him I wasn’t interested he got all - surly, and offended. He called me stuck up.” She wiped delicately at her eye. “I left right then.”

Blaine exhaled heavily. “I’m so sorry, Quinn.” He held out a napkin, which she used to blow her nose. “He’s an idiot, and he doesn’t deserve you. I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Yeah.” She stared down at the napkin balled in her hands. “Me too.” They were silent for a moment before she said, “I wish I could be a normal college student and have sex with a cute guy, it’s just -”

“You don’t have to justify yourself,” Blaine insisted. “He shouldn’t have pressured you at all, that’s his problem, not yours.”

They hadn’t spoken much about sex and romance, besides one late-night conversation their first semester. Blaine had referenced his complete lack of relationship experience, and Quinn replied that she’d sworn off men after a series of high school relationships that she now realized she’d been in for all the wrong reasons.

“No, I -” she took a deep breath. “I want to. You should know.”

Then, in hushed tones, she revealed something Blaine never could have anticipated - that she was a mother. Or, rather, that she’d given birth to a baby that had been adopted. Suddenly a few things Quinn had said about her past fell into place, but mostly Blaine was just shocked.

“So,” Quinn said with a shrug. “The last time I had sex it kind of ruined my life. Well, it’s more complicated than that. But - that’s why I’m a little hesitant.”

“Of course,” Blaine said. “I’m so - thank you for trusting me with that.”

“Thank you for being trustworthy,” she replied. “I guess I should have stuck with swearing off of men. None of the rest of them are gentlemen like you.”

Blaine smiled softly. “Well, I’m your gentlemanly friend for as long as you want me.”

Quinn got up and sat next to him on the other side of the table, then leaned her head against his shoulder. He lifted his arm to hold her and rub soothing circles onto her back.

Blaine and Quinn kept in constant contact over their summer apart, texting and calling to stay updated on each other’s lives. Their sophomore year they started planning their class schedules to have some overlap, since they were both studying business now. Their friendship continued to define their college years, and when they both wanted to move off-campus as seniors, they found an apartment together that they shared with another Yale student named Julia. Blaine loved being able to come home to Quinn after class, to share the latest gossip or agonize over assignments together.

Blaine got back to the apartment one evening in March to find Quinn pouring Prosecco into the mason jars they used as cups.

“My pitch won!” she exclaimed as soon as she saw Blaine. “I’m going to New York to present the idea to real investors next month!”

Blaine dropped his school bag and gathered her up in a tight hug. “That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you!”

She wore a wide, unabashed smile - completely genuine in a way Quinn rarely was. “Thank you for putting up with me while I’ve been stressing over this. It’s going to look so good on my resume! Wait, how was your midterm?”

“Good!” Blaine said, sitting on one of the stools that served as their kitchen chairs. “Actually less overwhelming than I thought, I feel pretty confident about it.”

Quinn handed him a glass of wine. “Then we both have some celebrating to do tonight.”

Blaine clinked his glass against Quinn’s. “To hard work paying off,” he toasted.

“To us,” she added, “and our future.”

They drank.

Julia got home and had half a glass to celebrate their accomplishments, but then had to leave for a trivia night. Blaine and Quinn moved to the living room and polished off the bottle themselves, talking and laughing and singing along to music playing from Blaine’s laptop.

They were seated close on their too-small couch and Blaine’s whole body felt fizzy with sparkling wine. He was just thinking about how this was it, one of those perfect, quintessential college moments that he would never forget, when Quinn leaned even closer to him. He thought that she must have lost her balance, until suddenly his nose was brushing her cheek and she pressed their lips together.

He was so surprised that he simply froze, unsure how to react.

Quinn pulled back, and her eyes seemed so bright in the dim room when she blinked. “I -”

Blaine was abruptly so certain that he didn’t want to know what she was going to say next, so scared of what her words would be and what they would mean for them both, that he did the only thing he could think of - he leaned forward and kissed her back.

She fell into him immediately, reaching up to grip his arm. Blaine kept his eyes closed and tried to focus. It felt - nice. He’d kissed a couple of girls since coming to Yale, but it wasn’t something he had much experience with. Somehow it being Quinn made it both more fun and more nerve-wracking. He trusted Quinn, knew her as well as she knew him, and there was something comforting about that - but he was also more terrified of what messing up with her might mean.

When they separated, Quinn exhaled heavily. “Wow,” she said.

Blaine cleared his throat. “Yeah,” he breathed. “Wow.”

After that, they were a couple. They never explicitly discussed it, but it felt natural to fall into those roles.

Blaine had always been so good at playing the parts others expected of him.

Not much changed, really - they kept their separate bedrooms in the apartment. They’d already spent the majority of their free time together; now they just kissed or cuddled sometimes.

All of their friends said some variation of “finally” when they found out. Blaine’s mother was so happy and excited when he told her that Quinn was his girlfriend now.

Quinn was Blaine’s best friend, and the whole world seemed confident that they belonged in a relationship, which reassured Blaine that it was the right thing.

Blaine knew he was moving to Los Angeles after graduation for a position in his father’s company, and suddenly it seemed that Quinn was applying to jobs only on the west coast. A week before the end of the semester, she accepted an offer from an outdoors-wear company in LA, sealing their post-college plans together.

Moving across the country and being thrust into adult life was overwhelming. Cooper was somewhat helpful in introducing them to the city, but he had his own busy life to deal with. Whether they were hiking in Griffith Park or trying a new Argentine restaurant or just lying on the couch watching TV together, Blaine was so grateful to have Quinn by his side. He couldn’t imagine how lonely he’d be without her. She was beautiful and smart, talented and supportive. She had her own moods and flaws, but Blaine was pretty sure he’d somehow lucked into having the perfect girlfriend.

“I had a meeting with my dad today,” Blaine told Quinn when he got home from work one early December evening.

“Oh yeah?” Quinn asked. She had her hair up in a ponytail, her eye makeup slightly smudged as she read something on her iPad.

Blaine slipped off his suit jacket. He was unused to the mild weather in Southern California - back in Ohio or New Haven, he’d be knocking slush off his boots whenever he came inside by this time of year.

“Yeah. It was…kind of a big deal.”

She set down the tablet and looked up, her eyebrow raised in curiosity.

“He wants me to go to Ljubljana for the opening of the European branch.”

The new office opening had been a years-long process, now only two months away. Mr. Anderson had approached his son with even more stateliness than usual. “I was planning on being in Ljubljana for the first several months of operations,” he’d said, “but with the Sheffield case complications and filling the empty board position, it’s clear to me that I need to stay at headquarters for now. I want you to go in my stead.”

Blaine felt conflicted over the whole thing. On the one hand, it seemed like a good move for his career, and he felt proud that his father trusted him enough to task him with this. However, he was somewhat intimidated by the idea of moving to a foreign country all alone for an extended period. He also knew that the offer was purely ceremonial - it had more to do with his last name than with his professional accomplishments. He was standing in for his father as a figurehead of the company, not actually doing any meaningful work.

Still, he wanted to go. As soon as his father spoke the words, Blaine felt excitement bloom in his chest. He wanted something new, something different - he was overwhelmed with the unexpected desire to escape his current circumstances.

Quinn was surprised, before her mouth twisted into a dissatisfied frown. “You’re going to leave LA?”

“It’s temporary,” Blaine reassured her.

She crossed her arms. “It’s still a long time.”

“I’m gonna miss you so much,” he said, stepping forward to rest his hands on her waist. “But we can do long-distance. You could come visit - take a vacation in Europe. And you have your coworkers, and the Women’s Political Collective, and the friends you made in spin class - you’ve started building a whole life here. You’re gonna be fine without me for a few months. You won’t even notice I’m gone.”

“Wrong,” she insisted, but there wasn’t much bitterness behind it. “But why Lu- Lub- Yule-”

“Ljubljana,” Blaine supplied.

“Where is that again?”

Blaine swiped his thumbs against the fabric of her shirt. “It’s the capital of Slovenia.” He gave her more detail about the expansion, the reasoning for the company’s new location. He explained every justification for the business’s plan, and why he should be there when it began.

When he finished speaking, Quinn let out a resigned sigh. She reached up to brush back a strand of his hair. “Well, if your father insists, I guess you shouldn’t turn it down.”

Blaine leaned in to kiss her, and tried not to smile too widely. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

Despite his efforts to minimize it to Quinn, Blaine hoped that this trip would be the catalyst for something - for his successful career, but maybe also for himself, for his life.

Quinn seemed dressed up on the day Blaine was flying out of the country, wearing a dress and bright red lipstick, instead of the business casual outfits that were typical for her nowadays. It reminded Blaine of when they were younger, how he’d thought she looked like a movie star when they first met. They were living in Los Angeles now, but so far from her old acting aspirations. As they drove to LAX, Blaine contemplated how unexpectedly things had turned out for them both. He wondered what his eighteen-year-old self would have thought of him now.

Quinn accompanied him into the airport and all the way to the edge of security, where she would no longer be allowed without a ticket.

“Do you have your sleep mask?” she asked, leaning in to straighten the strap of his carry-on.

“Yes,” he said, trying to meet her eyes.

“And you called the bank?”

“Yes, and I have the company card.”

She finally made eye contact with him. “Then I guess this is goodbye.”

“This is see you later,” he insisted.

“Okay,” she said softly, leaning in to kiss him. Blaine felt like he was on a precipice, in the midst of a turning page. “See you later.” Before he could respond, she added one more thing, something so brief and yet so, so consequential: “I love you.”

Suddenly Blaine was drenched in panic as he processed those words, staring into the eyes of his loving girlfriend in the middle of a crowded airport.

Because he loved Quinn, he did - she was such an important part of his life.

But he also knew, with the absolute certainty that eluded him in so many places in his life, that he could not say those words back to her. He wasn’t in love with her, not the way she wanted him to be. And he had no idea how to get out of this terrible situation that he’d somehow put himself in.

#my fic #one shot #one-shot

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kanacozmez · 9 months

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YOU GET IT YOU GET IT

(long ask I'm sorry)

I have so many Thoughts about paraani (got into it through the anime and am now working through the dramas) because like yeah. from what I've heard the dramas are crazy different. but I think it's ok. I was talking about it earlier and yeah paraani giveth and paraani taketh away

total side tangent but I can't write a long ask about my media adaptations without bringing it up you can ignore: I used to be a "why is it not like the originals" guy. and then I wound up in a fandom where the crazy different absolutely bungled adaptation was the preferred version (at least by the people I knew hi guys) and I didn't want to be a hater so I thought about it

and what I realized was that adaptations. are adaptations.

wow duh so smart I know

but it's different it's always going to be different. the question is only how different it's going to be

and what I think is upsetting a lot of people about paraani (and for good reason it makes sense I would be way less forgiving if I wasn't new here) is that the voice dramas and anime are trying to tell two different versions of the same story

can't say much for the dramas right now (I've only listened to live and a bit of love) but I think I understand the anime at least a little now that it's over. paraani was supposed to be about cozmez and kanata's self isolation and that whole subplot. and they did make it about that (it's clearer in retrospect) and in my unprofessional opinion they did a solid okay at that

your mileage may vary on how appealing that is to you as a paralive adaptation. I can totally understand being upset that it was less of an ensemble thing (and they should have given akyr a solo episode if they were going to do that for everyone else cmon)

but personally? for me as just a humble little guy? paraani was great I had a lot of fun with it and I'm glad it wasn't a 1:1 adaptation. net positive for the amount of cool paralive art in the world. and if I want to see the version in the dramas I can just listen to those (and I am!)

my biggest gripe is them dropping alive nayuta with no explanation for people who hadn't listened to the dramas (which I assume is the target audience considering how much they pissed drama listeners off?) so if they don't get a season two that's going to narratively suck

sorry about the long heated ask I'm just so tired. looking forward to peaceful tuesdays on the dashboard. have a meme

i literally have nothing to add you're ABSOLUTELY right. they're adaptations for a reason. things that work in one format won't work in another (i.e: you can't show facial expressions in the audio dramas, and you can't make illusions for the stage shows) so you have to find work arounds. i totally agree that akyr should've been given an episode, and also there should've been a more even spread of songs over the show. BAE has three performances & are in LAST VERSE but cozmez are only in one??? (Also they totally should've animated Buraikan is Back as the ending song to ep. 11). I have a few gripes with the show, but I have gripes with the audio dramas and stuff as well. because that's how humans intake media. you're always gonna dislike bits of things and you're always going to like one version of something over the other. but it doesn't mean that there aren't any good things to be found in the other version.

#asks #paralive #pararai #paradox live #kanata.txt #paraani #besides. an ensemble cast of the 14 participants and the 2 members of buraikan? for a 12 ep show? that wouldve sucked bc of pacing issues

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domoz · 1 year

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9, 11, and 16 for the ask game! Your choice of fic (or all of them for 16)

(Ask game) 9 - What is your favorite dialogue you’ve written so far?

If I'm restricting myself to just founders stuff (and lbr I dont remember enough about older stuff to be able to quote it off the top of my head) it's probably this bit from this oneshot because the lines are so cold (imo).

"If you want it to stop --" Says Butsuma, forcing Tobirama's face to turn the other direction and digging the kunai in to the other side, a perfect match to the first cut "-- Then stop me. Get strong enough to stop me." But Hashirama can't stand up. There's no sudden burst of strength -- he used that up ages ago. All he can manage is to drag himself a few inches forward through the dirt, fingers just able to reach where a spot of blood (his brother's blood!) has been flung to the ground. "Please." His voice is hoarse, "Please, I understand. Please stop." The look Butsuma levels at him is cold, a frown that says he doesn't believe him. He tilts up Tobirama's head, cuts a final slash into his chin, before letting go. Standing up, stepping back, uncaring of the way his son has dropped to the ground like a puppet with it's strings cut. "Guard your heart or grow strong enough to keep it safe, Hashirama. Those are your options."

11- What scene are you most hyped for this chapter/fic?

For Hand over Hand Over Hand, there is a bullet on my outline labeled "Hikaku's very long and sexy day" which I think about often, and is basically: Hikaku doing what he signed up for to the extreme, and going from Tobirama, to Madara, and back to Tobirama all in a row.

For another fic... the whole second arc of Trust in Reverse, which is a fic where Tobirama and Izuna were forced to marry, with the expectation that it would fail. The arc is all courtly drama and the two of them begrudgingly working together to figure out why it all happened in the first place (and learning to trust each other along the way :)) Not a scene exactly, but most of that fic is in the outline phase.

16 - Write the next 5 sentences and share. ...For every fic you say? (...I was gonna put a readmore here, but the text editor tumblr assigned me for this post wont allow it. So, sorry if this is annoying long)

Brothers in Bond

Before he could stew on that for too long, the door pulled open with a creak that was deafening in the relative silence of the room. Izuna scowled reflexively, unused to having to squint into the light -- not that it mattered. Whoever this was, they were wearing the same nondescript grey uniform and mask as the shinobi who had captured them in the first place. Two more, dressed the same, slipped in to flank door even as it was pulled closed and latched from the outside. The chain quietly scraped on the stone floor as Tobirama shifted his position to better study the new arrivals. Tight security, Izuna thought with a mental sigh, and shitty interrogation tactics.

Trust in Reverse

There is no greeting, but instead one handed gesture at the papers on the table. "Infrastructure plans." He explains, voice so flat that Izuna can't tell if he thinks if this is serious or all a ridiculous farce. "Utilities. We're inevitably going to have to share, since we're living so close, and moving forward without input from both sides is asking for trouble at this stage." No, he must think it's all bullshit if he's asking for Izuna's opinion on -- he glances down -- plumbing. He's not educated on sewer systems, aside from the one mission he'd taken to the capital that had required him to crawl through them for several hours. This is some kind of trap -- has to be.

Wood Tar, Charcoal, Ginger, and Honey

Tobirama doesn't show a hint of fear at a compound full of active sharingan tracking his movements, nor so much as react when he's searched for weapons. He easily hands over the pack of medical supplies he's brought, only raising an eyebrow at the challenging look that Hikaku gives him when a pack of senbon is pulled from an inside pocket. "You're free to have your own healers examine the contents, it all has medicinal use." He says evenly,the way he folds his arms betraying nothing but annoyance, "And I'm unlikely to need any of it right away." "Take it." Madara grunts with a wave of his hand, already gesturing for Tobirama to follow him. He doesn't have time for this, and Izuna certainly doesn't, either.

In the Corner of Another Room

Izuna can admit to enjoying a little luxury from time to time, but he's still a shinobi born and raised. He can pass as an air-brained nobleman when he has to, and even enjoy it, but excess still makes his skin crawl when he thinks about it too hard. The inn and onsen high up in the mountains is lovely, truly, but the price tag to stay there is most certainly not. Mission success will make this more than worth it, but his nagging guilt at the cost combined with the constant vigilance makes him unable to really sit back an enjoy it all. He could -- his mark isn't due to arrive for another few days, yet -- but Izuna was trained better than that.

Heart of Flowers

Madara slips into his office without knocking. It had taken him a while to figure it out, but Tobirama doesn't actually chew out everyone who comes in unannounced, just those who insisted on loudly interrupting his work. Madara would never pretend that he hadn't before, or that he never would again, but the village had helped him start to be patient in ways he'd never had to be before. He is, in fact, capable of not tearing out Tobirama's throat. These days he doesn't even want to, most of the time.

Fic Trio (Specifically, Ambitious Uses for Hands and Tongues)

His entire existence has whittled down to to the agonizing white-hot pulse of not-quite pain. At some point -- Izuna doesn't know when, he was already starting to lose time even when he was conscious -- the feeling spread, changing from something sharp into a full body prickly-numbness that made it impossible to think or to keep his eyes open. He'd always thought it'd be cold, but he feels warm, almost pleasantly so, except for the uncomfortable points of heat that are pressing into his side. Fingertips, he manages to dredge up after what might have been an age or might only have been moments. Who's touching me? And why doesn't it hurt?

Hand Over Hand Over Hand

He raps on the door anyway, and hefts the bottle he's brought along when it opens and Izuna appears in the crack, squinting meaningfully. He lights up at the sight of it -- it's umeshu, from the same brewer that Tajima used to buy from when he went into court; the cheaper stuff he drank himself, not the fancy gifts he presented the daimyo, and by extension, the stuff he hid under the floorboards that Izuna and Madara got drunk on for the first time. Madara got sick, Tajima forced him to train through it as punishment, and he's all but forbidden plum wine from the house ever since, but Hikaku knows Izuna still has a fondness for the stuff. He'd been planning to give it as a birthday gift, but he hadn't anticipated a need to apologize for all but supplanting Izuna from his previous life at the time, either. Nor did he think he'd be trying to learn about the man who was his rival and worst enemy.

What if Hashirama was Evil

Only when Madara's shadow falls across him does he look up, but his red eyes are glazed and uncomprehending, and his head lolls back to its awkward resting angle after only a moment, too tired or too uncaring to struggle. Madara looks him over more closely. He looks dirty and scuffed up like he's been in a fight, though all of the minor wounds have already stopped bleeding. He hasn't even been properly stripped of weapons, just stopped from moving by the wood wrapping his wrists together and his arms behind his back. Madara grimaces but kneels down and starts going through pockets. Much as he hates the idea of doing what's so obviously been planned for him to do, the fact of the matter is that he's got no information, and Tobirama almost certainly does.

#ask meme #oops! no writing tag #........... i aint gonna tag all that. itll be in the fics anyways unless i edit it out

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hangingslothcentral · 2 years

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it's now exactly a month until new Spirit Box Radio

a weird thing about season three is i am finding i'm really pushing myself a lot more writing-wise than i have with this show for a while. it's a combination of things, I think, but a HUGE amount of it comes from the place of season three being

a) the last season of the show, and

b) way shorter than the other seasons

episodes have undergone more scrutiny and revision than any audio drama i've written before and to me it's starting to feel like that effort is paying off.

sometimes it's big stuff, like before i'd just find the easiest way to move from segment to segment, whereas now I stop myself mid-flow and force myself to think about how to make it more dramatic, more important, more significantly tied into the plot.

i'm a writer that cuts a lot of words as it is, but i think i'm naturally less ruthless with audio drama because the volume and speed at which I make it is comparatively high versus the way i write prose. i have a tendency to let things slide in the writing room because i have this knowledge i'll be the one performing most of it, i'm the one editing it, so decisions i make at the writing stage are less permenant. whilst i'm definitely still going to be cutting and changing stuff when i perform Sam and DEFINITELY gonna keep remixing stuff in the edit, season three's writing is much more intentional, and i really hope that'll come through when you hear it.

#yeah idk its just all sorta coming together #i'm really proud of the writing in s1 & s2 #don't get me wrong #i just feel like the vibes of this are much stronger and more professional in s3 #gotta finish big innit #sbrp #sbr pod #sbr #spirit box radio #horror #queer creator #queer horror #writing #creative writing #writing process #audio drama #podcast

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sun-undone · 1 year

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First and foremost, well done on a season, three recap of OBX 👏🏾 you never cease to fail, with being thorough with your communication and personal opinions on the show with valid insight that ( I feel) gives the pates a run for there money if they ever get a chance to listen to your podcast.

Now..

It was ABSOLUTELY frustrating not seeing the group together building friendships as it’s been in the OG seasons. If there’s any main reason the season suffered it’s because of that for sure.

Im happy big John had his one season and got out😂 that dude messed up half of the season pulling John b away from the group for his treasure hunt. And even when they all United, the guy definitely showed his true shallowness.

But it makes sense on why you mention what Cleo said with pope. “You have a lot to lose before you have nothing” this phrase is the staple of this season as there never really all together. By the end of it they remember they really only have each other to lose. P4L

And I don’t believe the pates are gonna grant your wish of taking topper fully out sadly. On all the OBX 4 promotion stuff toppers tagging along with them everywhere they go. But as long as sarah struggles with daddy issues topper will always be on the back burner lol.

Similar to you I don’t understand why they don’t go deeper with Mike’s past. ( hopefully I’m not speaking to soon😬) but if jiera is gonna be a thing in season 4 I feel like they should atleast explore it more.

- Rafe looks like the type to bring a gun to a fight so I’m not sure I wanna see him and fight JJ. This could be crazy to say but I can see rafe being hell bent on revenge towards the pougues in season 4 and either switching sides help them for some crazy reason. I low key don’t want to lose rafe though he is a lunatic.( but I’m not as good as you are with these prediction 😂)

What I would love for you to talk about in a future episode on diver down:

- a recap of jirera journey of a friendship to relationship from season 1-3

- what might Cleo’s past look like and how will it effect pope or the group?

- now that the pogues will be on a completely new adventure with this new treasure opportunity do you think along they the way a new Pogue gets introduced? Since everybody else is boo’d up 😂 now.

-As you said I look forward to seeing them go back to the basics of what the organic OBX shows was I hope they don’t Rush too much into heavy drama right off the back in season four and they allow us to adjust to the characters and how they’ve changed for ATLEAST two episodes.

Thank you for the season three recap 🤘🏾🥂

first off, thank you so much for always taking the time to be so kind and supportive and to start discussions like these!!!! it's all very very much appreciated and i'm really grateful to be a part of this community that's so passionate about our stupid little boat show 🤗

i already talked a ton about the lack of pogues and Big John and the nothing to lose theme, so i'm gonna skip over to the Topper topic cause shocker, i still have more thoughts about him. i really do have faith that the pates have finally decided on treating him as a fully antagonistic force against the pogues, which includes Sarah, and i absolutely cannot see her ever going back to him again. ever. if the pates even hint at that, i will take back everything i ever said about them slowly but surely taking more care with writing their female characters. i think her entire arc this season was her facing her fears of vulnerability and finally, fully allowing herself to rely on the pogues and to be part of that family. i don't think she's going anywhere, but especially not back to Topper. i really really want Jarah B to be solid moving forward, at least in s4. it'd be so nice to have them as like the steady married couple while Cleope are in the honeymoon stage and Jiara are probably gonna have to face more angst from outside forces. but even if Jarah B have their issues, i really don't think Topper will be involved. it was heavily implied in episode 9 that the pogues realized that it was him who burnt down the Chateau, so i just could not imagine Sarah having even a sliver of sympathy for him anymore. whatever he ends up doing in s4, Sarah won't be looking his way. if the pates have any respect for her character, that is.

moving on to the Rafe and JJ point, i could definitely see Rafe just constantly walking around with a gun now, but i'd like to think that JJ is scrappy enough to be able to disarm him so it'd be an even fight. you'll have to pry my wish for a Rafe/JJ fight out of my cold, dead hands i swear!!!! but really though, even if they don't have a good old fashioned fist fight (which i feel like were also lacking in s3 cause there were so many damn guns instead 😒), i'd still love to see them have more interactions in s4 anyway. i feel like they haven't had a scene together in ages, and with Rafe having his weird soft spot for Kie, i feel like the potential is just staggering for some really great conflict there and protective boyfriend JJ moments, which i hope the pates know would make everyone absolutely feral. even before Jiara was a thing, Rafe knew that calling Kiara "pretty hot for a pogue" in front of JJ would piss him off, so 👀👀 imagine the kind of shit he could pull knowing that they're actually dating now

and i'd like to hear more about your Rafe prediction cause i'm intrigued but don't fully understand it!!

thanks so much for sending topics for me to talk about in the next episode, i'm excited to think about them more!

#diver down podcast #obx

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pwblogarchive · 2 months

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July 2004

July 5, 2004

“Its Such A Joke How Every Song I Ever Write Is”

we’re getting close. i think we might do one more video for TTTYG. the song is gonna be one thats gonna suprise you, because its our favorite one off the record. if it happens, the band is gonna write the video and act in it- cross your fingers and we’ll see what goes down.

has anybody noticed how cliche, selfserving and overdamatic this journal has become? me too.

peter wentz- president of the FOB drama club

love never wanted me but i took it anyway. and there aint a pill that can keep you from my mind- there aint a siren that can keep me from your window. didn’t you hear the word on the streets? i’m getting by on obsession, baby.

p.s. my hair is now black, im here for your heart.

July 7, 2004

“And I Dont Care If Im Just Like The Boys I Trash In All These Songs…”

heard a bunch of the new academy record- you are gonna be suprised. dont sleep. this thing is good and not just in a “my friends are in this band” kind of good, i’d like it even if i didn’t know those geeks. they are like my little brothers. sorry i cut out of the show fast tonight. im not feeling so great about some friends lately. i don’t get “it” but i get it.

if you have any crazy home footage (like the time you and your brother glued yourselves together or whatever) send it to us. we are gonna include a section for it on the release the bats dvd- send it and a release (a piece of paper saying you release the footage and your image to be used by clandestine industries) to: Release the bats DVD at 900 forest. wilmette, il 60091- we need it this month. expect it to drop this fall around the TBS tour.

peter

we joked about the kids who used to be just like us- sick inside of their own skin.

i dropped an “i love you” thankgod it got caught in the wind.

you shouldnt have come back here alone. i’m a shark, baby. and theres blood in the water.

July 8, 2004

“Clip My Wings, I Don’t Deserve The Sky”

I must confess how much I love touring here and seeing old friends. Please come say hi.

I also must confess my serious ashlee simpson crush.

Peterabbit

July 12, 2004

“I Would Forgive You But You Could Never Forgive Yourself”

sooo. this half of tour has been hot. hot and fun. there has been lots of drama in my life. i apologize for being out of it. so st. louis- i got hot. i got delirious. i made some weird decisions. i smashed a bass. said weird stuff. left the stage. threw up. asked bill from the academy to get me some FOB booty shorts and tell the crowd i quit fall out boy. then i yelled into a megaphone. got into skimpy shorts and ran around on stage playing.

Oh yeah all these ideas seemed really funny at the time, now not so funny.

i apologize for anyone who had to see my legs in shorts.

that was the hottest i have ever been in my entire life.

peter

texas is the reason.

July 14, 2004

“Which One Is It Gonna Be The Smile Or The Voice Cause You Can’t Have Both”

For some reason texas air feels right on my lungs. I can’t wait to hit the coast. The stars out here are playing jokes on me. These shows have felt pretty good too. Me and patrick wrote a new one today, it gonna make you dance.

July 15, 2004

its been awhile. i apologize. i can't say i haven't missed you. i need to write more. i think i start to lose it otherwise.

sometimes it all just feels so fucking on. if you don't get that, i'm sorry i cant explain it.

seeing this country in the summer in a van leaves me breathless. get off the computer and go out and fall in love with someone or something.

you gotta know you have my heart.

- petey

July 15, 2004

“Its Like Chris Said”

New mexico was great for never having been there before. People were so welcoming. I got electrocuted. That was not so great. I’ve got to stop reading the internet, it bums me out a lot. Okay I’m through with (me) all the complaining. I feel like I am holding my breath all the time. A nervous stuttering wreck, and then you don’t like me anyway. I’ve got it figured out, none of it matters. Either: you love to hate me or you hate to love me. But for the record you are my favorites anyway.

Love peter Oh yeah. Hey j.m. Remember that boy I was always nervous about you hanging out with, the one I hated? When did I become him? I dunno, but I did. I’m sorry. For the record I hope you’re doing alright.

July 16, 2004

There’s a part of me that thinks that things might turn out alright. But there’s another part that hopes you didn’t leave your hotel key between pages of the bible iin the drawer.

- petey

July 16, 2004

“Nobody Puts Pete The Baby In The Corner”

Sometimes I just write when I am in a bad mood. And often what comes out is trite and depressing. I am sorry. As I sit here with my posture clearly indicating hours on a glowing screen filled with meaningless words, my middle finger calloused and crooked from writing for hours a day in a notebook that seems filled as soon as a new one it bought. With this keyboard I take AIM on nothing and don’t really care. My wrists feel like they’d slit themselves if I let them, they want out (so do I). Then I remind myself I am out with my bestfriends and having the time of my life. My hotel room was next to a palm tree,

I slept well and dream free.

That was me beng a baby. It happens. You have all always been so nice so don’t even sweat it. Just deal with me getting “emo” sometimes.

July 18, 2004

A lot of people have been asking for this. Here’s a bit from our new song- we don’t take hits, we write them….

Find myself on the street out in front of your house so you can kiss safe thoughts good bye. I’m coming up to break your heart. You’re sleeping with the light on like you’re dying to be found out.

I need to take a break from the internet for awhile. I think you’re getting to me love.

- petey

July 18, 2004

“This Place Is A Prison And These People Aren’t Your Friends”

I heard somebody once say “if you love something set it free”

But we’re doomed to crash with these clipped wings

July 25, 2004

“I Aint Dropping No Sympathy… On You Cause Youre Living Lives Way Too Complete For Me…”

its only always been about dropping tears and names. its just a song. so forget all the questions. the stories getting old - but we’ll always be the homewreckers with the hearts of gold.

dont believe in someone who never believed in anything.

July 25, 2004

“No Time For Love, Dr. Jones, We Got Trouble”

I’m gonna miss california. This trip to the west coast was what I needed.

Peter

July 27, 2004

“Status Report”

Lots going on. We’re gonna miss the west coast…. Also. Were gonna have some new merch for warped tour: a shirt that has 8 of our early shirts on it for the collectors, a fob drama club shirt, scene point pins and more. So come by and check it out. Secondly, we aren’t/didn’t play warped in your town because they didn’t ask us to not because we didn’t want to so don’t believe the hype.

Also, our friends in gym class heroes will be playing the bnd tour with us on august 1 in davenport, iowa and then I am setting up a show again for them in chicago on august 3, so come check them out. They are the next big thing, better than atmosphere.

Lastly, I guess some people have told the guys in new found glory we were shittalking them in our dvd. That is the farthest thing from the truth. I knew chad when he was in shai hulud and have always looked up to nfg. That is a band that did it right and I have more respect for than any other band in our genre. We goofed around on a video three years ago to try and trick some girl. That’s it. No drama. So if you are going to warped before we get on it, stop by nfg and tell them fall out boy loves them for us.

There’s no other band out there that did it like them.

Didn’t we tell you the fob drama club was in full effect.

Pete

July 30, 2004

after awhile when you bounce back and forth between different hearts nothing gets old. you never really have to mean anything to anyone. i have intimacy problems with the world. her eyes are blackened around the edges so much that she looks like a racoon. they look like permenant black eyes- the consumate victim. everybody loves the victim. he can’t put his finger on what it reminds him of but the closest he can come are old zombie movies. she’s made-up to look half dead- which still beats most of them who are just half-alive anyway. her hair looked like rows of shark teeth dyed over dye jobs like she was running away from her natural color. noone wants to be what they are. she looks independent in a very vulnerable way. the safest kind of dangerous. we drove around the city so she could alternate between cigarettes and coffee. we talk about the kids we hate just so we have something to agree about. they used to be just like us. we’re sitting on the edge of her bed. every single inch on your body is filled with millions of nerves. somewhere inside your brain neurons have fired to synapses and put them on alert. when your hands brush hers it feels electric. every movement has a meaning, either yes or no. its getting later and later. the conversation and the possibilities are running out. last call. this is a war. everytime she moves her hand to her hair she is sending you signals. stay or leave. why can’t you figure them out. don’t strike first. wait until you are tired enough to make a move. lean in to kiss her bringing an awkward break in conversation. as you pull back she keeps talking about writers and bands she thinks will make her look cooler. but your fooled if only because you are worried she has found you out. push your tongue into her mouth too keep the right words from spilling out. her sheets smell like stale cigarettes smoked by boys who were me on nights before. she has a body that is built for sex. the kind a kid like me wouldn’t know what to do with if we had half the chance. imagine the chemistry of swallowed DNA. she has a scar that runs down her back right along the spine, like somebody tried to steal it. i joked her like this: “someone must have ignored the blue prints, look at all the structural damage”. but i stuttered and trailed off. the smoke curled off of her lips. for a second i was dying to be it. dying to be as clever and kissable as her. there she was sitting in front of me, knee pulled up to to her chin. smoking a cigarrette thinking of something or someone else. and thats how she will be stuck in my mind forever. two explorers in the dark, mapless and hopeless. alone together. its funny how easy it is to sleep with someone, but how hard it is to sleep next to someone. it’s too intimate. it makes my heartbeat race and pound inside my head. it is deafening. i slide my arm from behind her head and slip out the door. the pavement on the sidewalk is watching me go over every moment in my head. it’s watching me remember you. mistake by mistake. frame by frame. we’re not just taking trips down memory lane, we are broken down on it.

- petey

July 30, 2004

“Gbet Down With A Sickness”

i am sick. colorado was insane. sorry the show sold out so quickly, we had no idea. somebody bring me some fireworks to the iowa shows so i can shoot them at people and feel better. this is a part of this other book i have been working on: www.fueledbyramen.com/journal its a bit different than the boy with the thorn in his side.

you have no idea.

peter

#livejournal #pete wentz #fall out boy #pete wentz livejournal

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