#think i need to get my lesbians out again

[changeling-droneco]

#i fully used the jkr stuff to hopefully get some allos to actually pay attention and I am not ashamed#i would do it again in heartbeat

Honestly it's nothing to be ashamed if even one person saw that going down and decided to look deeper into aspec stuff or at least put forward a bit more of an effort to support it, totally worth it. Talking about some of my own experiences under the cut, it's a bit heavy with serious themes therefor, cut.

I got pretty lucky back then due to being a rather smaller blog at the time who mostly just reblogged other people back then so I dodged anything specifically targeting me but it really did feel like every other day someone I followed would reblog just something super aphobic out of the blue and I'd have to block them. I changed my icon to the ace colors back then as a part of being prideful of my identity yes, but also as a show of "you can't make us go away" I genuinely thought over whether it was worth the potential attention and hate from other queer people.

I remember finding cool lesbian blogs or whatever and having to check their faq or info or just search asexual and nine times out of ten be met with some cheeky aphobic response about how we weren't real or that our acceptance was heavily conditional like "ace" or "aro" was just an unimportant additive to our REAL label. I remember the gore and the sheer amount of sexual violence. I remember being TERRIFIED in june because it all got SO MUCH WORSE and more violent during pride an instinct that took me YEARS to get over.

I was there for the Thomas Sanders stuff and the tldr is someone sent an ask going all "hey what do you think of ace people" and thomas sanders the gay tiktok star was like "yeah ace people exist I support them" and then he IMMEDIATELY got accused of being a groomer pedophile and people dug for MILES to find anything even SLIGHTLY incriminating, he took a selfie that featured his butt? pedophile.

He was "cancelled" basically overnight the moment he said that with everyone complaining about how he was being homophobic by just acknowledging we exist. Like, right before that he was SUPER popular and hyped up but the moment ace people popped up? nope, he's a gay class traitor now. Genuinely despicable, no one ever apologized for THAT either.

It's still kinda hard to talk about this stuff, I was one of the luckier ones who dug my heels in but was also small enough to go under the radar, we lost a lot back then.

We were begging people to understand that to the rest of the world we were also seen as something wrong, something incorrect, something that needed to be fixed through pills and conversion therapy or sexual violence, and all we got was victim blaming and telling us that the language we used wasn't made for us and it was actually lesbophobic of us to use that language of corrective rape actually!

Oh also also any teenager who associates with Asexual has clearly being groomed by the Asexual Agenda tm because asexuality is purely about just SEX obviously and thats GROSS because obviously talking about kids and teens about sex in literally any capacity is bad. so we're cancelling sesame street for having an ace flag in their pride video because it's pedophilia did you know sesame street promoted pedophilia?

Plus that teen girl who got MURDERED in part for being asexual? not only are we going to spam the tags with her murder picture, we're going to gaslight everyone about how it was JUST about misogyny the asexual stuff had nooothing to do with it. It wasn't like we were constantly getting threats of assault and death. I remember you Bianca, and I'm so fucking sorry your memory was used to hurt your own community.

We're still here though with our black and white rings, and we'll always be here, but I know this shit comes in cycles, I'm just waiting for us to end up on the chopping block again.

I guess you could call tumblr's support for us very.....all or nothing

Honestly, I am pretty frustrated by the "haha why would anyone hate ace people" responses to Rowling's tweet.

Don't get me wrong, the support is nice. But if you want to be an ally, you have to do so on our terms, not yours. And that means actually engaging with the aspec community, not just posting positivity every now and again. And what those responses highlight to me is what I've known for a while; you guys only support aspec people when it's easy and convenient.

It's easy to support aspec people when it's J.K. Rowling being awful again. It's easy to support us when it's just reblogging an "aspec people are queer" post.

But what about when we are talking about amatonormativity and the relationship hierarchy? When we are discussing the enforcement of compulsory sexuality? When we are pushing for greater awareness and support for aspec identities that are not asexuality or aromanticism? When we are criticizing terminology that you use but harms us? Because I can tell you right now, I rarely see allo people engage with those posts.

Why do people hate asexuality (or any other aspec identity)? Because it challenges the societal norms that benefit them. And that is uncomfortable and scary. So they turn to hate and oppression in order to assure that the changes we push by just openly existing never happen.

That means that to be a good aspec ally, you can't just make a positivity post every now and again, and you can't just laugh about how stupid aphobes are. You have to openly challenge the societal norms that harm us, even if they benefit you. Including but not limited to:

The idea that romantic and sexual attraction is the default state of being (amatonormativity)

The idea that a romantic, sexual relationship completes a person

People in marriages receiving special privileges and benefits

The idea that platonic, familial, etc. attraction are default states of being

The idea that not feeling some form of attraction must be compensated for through another form of attraction

The idea that love (not just romantic) is inherently morally good, while not feeling love is inherently a moral failing

The idea that any one form of relationship is inherently more important or deeper than any other (relationship hierarchy)

The idea that any one thing makes someone human

The idea that not having sex is shameful or infantile

The idea that having sex without romantic love is callous

Gendered divides of sexual and romantic attraction

Other aspec people please feel free to add on/challenge any of this. Allo (not aspec) people please feel free to ask questions.

I've placed some resources for learning more about these topics under the cut.

Amatonormativity:

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5 - also in the Loveless section] [6 - also in the Compulsory Sexuality section]

Marriage Benefits:

[1]

Other Aspec Identities:

[Aplatonicism] [Afamilialism]

Loveless:

[1] [2 - also in the Amatonormativity section] [3] [4] [5]

Compulsory Sexuality:

[1 - also in the Amatonormativity section] [2]

Relationship Hierarchy vs Relationship Anarchy:

[1] [2] [3]

Oppression:

[1] [2] [3]

Miscellaneous:

[1] [2]

Books and Video Essays:

An Ace Discourse Retrospective by Jenny Geist

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J. Brown

[littlelovelunette]

Catching Up

Mother!Ambessa Medarda x Childhood Friend!Reader

Concept.

Sex with actual plot, praising, strap, dacryphillia if you squint, Ambessa has a bush, implied aftercare, not proof read im sorry.

It was a silly crush, you told yourself. But was it really? You dreamt of being her woman. You dreamt of being her queen, to serve as the General's trophy wife would even suffice. But your heart broke into a million tiny pieces when you heard the news that she got pregnant with Mel. She'd once again slept with a guy, and this was the symbol of it, and although you didn't resent her for it— the heartbreak in your chest lingered.

Ambessa questioned you, "Why are you leaving Noxus all of a sudden? We grew up here!"

You sighed, eyes downcast, "I'm sorry, 'Bessa."

Ambessa wanted to yell at you, urge you to stay but she knew she didn't have that authority nor right over you. So instead she placed a hand over your shoulder, "Let me know if you ever need anything."

You looked up at her finally, "And you take care of yourself," your voice was choked from the sob building in your throat, your eyes shifted to her baby bump, "And your baby."

With your entire family on board with the decision, you left Noxus and moved into Piltover. It barely helped with the heartbreak but being away from Noxus... You slowly started to move on from Ambessa. But oh the woman that she was— strong, powerful, the right bit of feminine and she always knew whatever she wanted. The only person who knew about your feelings was your elder sister, Rosette.

"I still can't believe she settled for a daughter." Rosette said, pouring you a mug of coffee, "With a man," she snorted in disgust.

"Yeah... Men." You mumbled, taking the coffee with a silent 'thanks' before tossing two pieces of bread in the toaster. "Still bummed out. You'd think I gave her all the hints a lesbian can possibly give."

"Not your fault, sis," Rosette sighed, "Well, hey, maybe you can fall in love with the enforcers here instead, you seem to have a thing for those kinda people," she teasingly nudged your shoulder.

"Are you suggesting I'm a badge bunny?" You rolled your eyes with a scoff, "The enforcers here look like dogshit. Well, at least in my opinion."

"I get that," Rosette sat down opposite you, peeling an orange, "Well, you better finish up breakfast fast if you want to go for work."

"Mhm," you hummed, taking a mouthful of coffee and taking the toast out of the toaster gingerly. They were very hot.

"Hey, sweethearts," your mother emerged downstairs, setting down the newspaper she held in her hands, "Did you know Ambessa is coming to Piltover? Her daughter Mel has also grown so much, I've heard she's a Councilor."

You spat out your coffee. "What!?" Your eyebrows furrowed and you ripped the paper away from your mother's hand, reading it over and over. The one line that said that Ambessa was rumoured to come to the Piltover for... Confidential reasons.

"Do you want to go meet her?" Rosette asked, "I could always call your boss and tell him you're at bedrest and sick."

You looked at Rosette and then back at the paper. "I... I wanna catch up with her. It's been years... And thanks."

You slowly put the paper down and abandoned the cup of coffee there on the table. Your appetite was suddenly gone, worry replacing your guts. You didn't know if this was a good idea or not. After all, you did have feelings for the woman. Dulled but still there. Even over the span of time that had passed, Ambessa Medarda wouldn't ever leave your heart.

"is she gonna be okay?" Your mother took a seat at the dining table and looked at Rosette.

"I hope." She stared after you as you disappeared into the confines of your room, isolating yourself from your family.

The thoughts in your head were far too loud for your liking and you didn't know how to set this up. Ambessa was the great warlord of Noxus, feared by all and even though you both grew up together— the stark difference of your position as a minimum wage worker Piltovian and hers as a Noxian warlord rubbed you the wrong way.

The shower turned off, and you stepped outside with a towel wrapped around your body. Your eyes hooked on the dress that hung from the hanger limply. It was a mini dress with puff sleeves and a square neckline, adorned with floral designs. Nothing too fancy and nothing too simple.

"You look beautiful." Ambessa said, offering her hand as she led you into the fine dining space she'd asked you to join her for lunch at.

"So do you," you sat opposite her, smiling as you leaned over the desk, "So, how's maternal life treating you?"

"Challenging, but I wouldn't trade it for the world," Ambessa examined the wine in her glass before she sipped it with a very judgemental look in her golden eyes.

You giggled, "I see, still rising to the challenge. You must be very proud of Mel."

Ambessa's jaw set tight and you knew this was a sensitive topic so you didn't press further. Her silence was enough for the both to you to get the gist— it was time to change conversation topic.

"I'm surprised you're not married and settled down already," Ambessa said, glancing at you, "Why's that?"

"I guess my standards are pretty high," you muttered, nervously playing with the ring on your finger, "And... I want someone who cares and cherishes their family as much as I do."

Ambessa's eyebrow raised, but you went on.

"I want someone to really put effort into keeping our future family safe given all the wars and conflicts surrounding us," you rested your head in your hand. "But I guess it's hard to trust people now a days."

Ambessa smirked slightly, taking a slow sip of her wine. "I see."

"So much has happened since I left Noxus," you crossed your legs and giggled, shaking your head, "I never could've imagined how hard it could've been, moving into a place where I knew nobody."

"I always questioned why you left," Ambessa said solemnly before smiling, "I guess, I still question it from time to time."

You wanted to tell her the truth. How it hurt you when you heard she was once again sleeping with a man. You wanted to be the one she'd be with. The one she'd give her time to. You were happy for her. But you weren't happy for you. And it was selfish, so you didn't find the courage to tell her so. You didn't before...

"Do you still... I don't know, hate me for it?" You asked, looking at her through your lashes.

Ambessa chuckled, the sound deep and rich but it held some sort of pain you couldn't place. "Yeah, sometimes."

You reached your hand forward, holding hers. Your thumb rubbed against her knuckles. "'Bessa... There's something I haven't told you all these years, not in letters or in person. I've never... Known how to phrase it and now it's getting harder and harder to contain it..."

"What is it?" Ambessa's eyebrows furrowed, contorting in confusion as she braced herself mentally for whatever bomb you might drop.

"I actually used to like you." You grinned in a giddy way, looking down at your lap, "I used to absolutely fancy you. And it hurt me so much that you were seeing men," you sighed, "But I knew I should've been happy for you, you were so cheerful after you got pregnant with Mel, that's the happiest I'd ever seen you."

Ambessa still didn't say anything so you continued.

"I know, I know. You deserve a better friend. That's why, I decided I'd move away from Noxus so my feelings didn't get in the way of our friendship. And I'm sorry if I hurt you by doing that." You didn't say anything further, staring at her to gauge her response.

"Do you still feel that way?" Ambessa asked, her voice quieter this time. This tone was always only reserved for you. You looked down, not meeting her eyes. Ambessa didn't want to assume, her hand holding your tighter now, she pressed on, "Please, tell me."

You looked at her, blushing immensely. You could practically feel the heat radiating off of your own face before you gave her a subtle, shy nod.

Ambessa gave you a triumphant smile, pouring herself more wine, "I guess, we can take this to the bed chambers then."

You gave her an eyebrow raise, "Is that right?" Your tone took a suggestive edge.

Ambessa's hands were all over you by the time you both made it last the bed chambers. You giggled as she palmed your breasts like a starved animal, nipping at your neck needily. Her big hands encircled around you as she pushed you onto the bed.

"What are you gonna do to me?" You asked, watching as she got up, and started removing each article of her clothing.

"That depends on what you want me to do to you, love." Ambessa answered, reaching to gently unzip your dress, pulling it off your body. You were in a white lingerie underneath. With the way Ambessa gawked at you, as if this was the most shocking sight in the world, you blushed.

"Don't stare..." You giggled shyly and tried to cover yourself. Ambessa blocked your arms from doing so.

"Don't. You're beautiful," she took a breath, "I'm just mesmerized."

You smiled a little, eyes fixed on her gorgeous muscular body. She leaned down and pulled a big red strap from the bedside drawer, putting it on herself.

"'Bessa that's really big," you muttered.

"You'll still take it for me, doll, no?" Ambessa smirked a little and lined the strap against your slit.

"Mhm, I'll take every inch," you said, gasping when the first few inches of the strap slipped into your pussy.

You were no stranger to sex, but the feeling something penetrating you after years of not being touched properly... It was sure interesting. You moaned softly, head tossing to the sight as you tried to take it without breaking a sweat. Ambessa noticed the way you tensed up, her hand resting on the bulge her huge cock produced on your stomach.

"Breathe easy," she rubbed the bulge, golden eyes trained on you as if she'd known your body forever, "In... And out."

You nodded, trembling a little as you tried to breathe deeply. Ambessa slipped the strap out all the way before slamming it back inside with an obscenely loud squelch. You yelped— the sound a mixture of a moan and a squeak. The strap was too big for your tiny hole.

You groaned when she bottomed out, Ambessa's hands squeezing your sides, "There we go, angel, you're doing well for me. Taking all of this big dick."

She cooed at you as if she wasn't splitting you open on her strap. Your tears rolled past your temples and soaked the pillow case as your hand tangled in her hair. "Please, it's too much," you begged.

Ambessa's hips pistoned perfectly, her experience showing as she continued ramming into you, your hole stretched deliciously around her huge silicone cock, slick running down the base of it everytime she pulled out of you. You were so wet, it was no wonder she slipped in so easily.

"Bessa!" You cried out when Ambessa rolled your nipple between her thick fingers, smirking down at your tear-stained face, her pace never ceasing.

Your eyes closed tightly as Ambessa slammed inside your hole again, she was in so deep her pubic hair brushed against your clit, only heightening your pleasure by doing so.

"That's it, my princess." Ambessa said and that was enough to make the coil in your tummy snap. Your back arched off the bed and you squirted all over the strap and Ambessa's abs.

"C-cumming!" You cried out loudly.

"There we go, my beautiful angel," Ambessa cooed in your ear gently easing the strap out of you. "Let's clean up, yeah, princess?"

[lunarriviera]

HI HI HEY HELLO yes it is time once again for me to screech like a deranged banshee about the preview stills for episodes 16 and 17 of justice in the dark, are you ready are you ready LET'S FUCKING GO

p sure at this point guangyuan official is out to get me, personally, and see to it that i do not survive to see this drama end, it being increasingly likely that i will simply perish. because DOES THIS or DOES THIS NOT look suspiciously like luo wenzhou is holding fei du's left hand? but that's ridiculous of course he isn't, we can't have things like that, i will therefore choose to ignore this. i'm sure he's just gazing at him soulfully while thinking how best to solve All The Crimes™. in no way whatsoever does he look like he's been doing this for days.

(while i do love the hilarity of lwz in fei du's hospital room in the novel, in which he's just being annoying, watching basketball games and cooking shows and eating everyone's fruit baskets while chastizing fei du for stepping in front of a bomb—as fei du is trapped there, immobilized and speechless and really starting to wonder what lwz's skin feels like but unable to do a goddamn thing about it—as much as i love those chapters, this looks horribly romantic and i like it too)

ahahahahahah [maniacal laughter] IT'S GETTING WORSE, so here's fei du feeding luo yiguo (or frying pan as his close friends call him) and TOUCHING HIM, for the first time in YEARS, bc he had to surrender him to tao ran, bc of [redacted] and [redacted] and now here he is finally, he's, he's trying to, he's—[breaks down completely]

BUT WAIT THAT'S NOT ALL THERE'S MORE

oh look, it's fei du fresh out of the shower. that would be luo wenzhou's shower. that he's just been in. showering. without clothes. possibly using luo wenzhou's 19-in-1 shampoo conditioner aftershave or whatever. obviously i'm completely fine about this of course, no thoughts in head whatsoever about how now they're just standing here. in the bedroom. looking at each other. maybe they're talking, presumably there must be dialogue of some kind, about crimes or post-operative care or what would fei du like for dinner or how do you feel about slow tender blowjobs i honestly have no idea anymore.

because look i'm just a stupid lesbian, i see zhang xincheng with wet hair in a bathrobe looking fragile and undefended, and fu xinbo looking back at him with the most vulnerable expression he's had in sixteen fucking episodes and i chew drywall, okay. i chew glass. i run out of things to chew and go outside to find some fucking ROCKS.

there's also a trailer but i'ma level with y'all: i could not watch it. i just could not. i saw 1.5 seconds of the door to luo wenzhou's apartment opening, and fei du walking inside—he thinks he'll be staying with a friend for a couple of days, having no idea he's just moved into the home where he'll live for the rest of his life. so i, being very mature and rational about this development, threw my hands up in front of my face and whimpered aloud, and managed to hit pause before i projectile-bled onto my laptop screen. you can go watch it alone, i am not god's strongest soldier and these stills already took me out.

but finally! GUESS WHAT! STARTING WITH EP 16, FU XINBO WILL BE SINGING THE CLOSING OST. i love the way the producers have divided this drama into BC (before cp) and AD (after dicking). how fei du's/zhang xincheng's song was all about thinking he's evil and desperately needing someone to pull him out of the darkness, whereas fu xinbo's/lwz's is called 「微光」 and i fully intend to cry.

thank you for your time i will see you on the other side of Macbeth—

[foreverrandomwritings]

Season 8 Episode 16: The Last Alarm.

Well I’m sure anyone reading this understands that I don’t want to watch this episode whatsoever. Anyways let’s get going.

SHOWING BOBBY ON THIS EPISODE IMMEDIATELY IS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING STUPID INSANE. THERAPY WORTHY SHIT RIGHT THERE.

They lost the baby? Fuck this.

Uhm why isn’t Buck with Athena and the kids? Because he’s Bobby’s kid man.

HASN’T RELEASED HIS BODY YET? THEY REALLY WANTED TO THROW US ALL A BONE AND THEN YANK IT AWAY.

My favorite lesbian couple🥵🥵

My favorite sibling duo🥰🥰

Poor Chimney grieving in the worst way possible….. running as a hobby.(I’m just joking)

Okay Athena you need to lay off man. Like everyone is grieving and going through shit not just you. Grow the fuck up for real.

Of course they’d give her a case🙄

So like are we all thinking that this kid is definitely a kidnapped victim?

Bro sending Gerrard in as Bobby’s replacement as they are all grieving is a choice. Not the right choice. But a choice.

Hey Ravi. My man’s😉😉

Chimney babes my god baby.

Okay y’all I really need my man’s Eddie back like asap. I know he could really help out.

Athena looks fine as fuck in black.

Okay this is seeming more and more like this woman isn’t at all insane.

Back to the house she was building for a beautiful like with her husband. Which won’t happen because Tim sucks butt.

BOBBY BABY.

I mean Bobby’s ghost Athena kinda ate with that.

Maddie trying to help Chimney grieve is so sweet.

Uhm Gary fuck you.

I love this case. Ain’t gonna listen to anyone tell me different.

Angela Bassett is such an amazing actress.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. I NEEDED THIS CASE TO BE DIFFERENT. FUCK THIS.

The constant Bobby they are putting in this episode isn’t helping my grief at all.

Jennifer Love-Hewitt please do some Melinda Gordon shit and constantly talk to Bobby’s ghost. Please and thank you.

I SCREAMED WHEN EDDIE CAME ON SCREEN OMG.

Fine I’ll start crying all over again.

Chimney baby.

Buck being so put together this episode and being there for everyone is exactly what Bobby told him to do and it’s making me sick.

I fear the crash out that Buck is gonna have.

I’m sorry but saying a a father and not showing Buck?

Okay I’m done. I don’t even think buddie being cannon could make me watch any more of this.

This song keeps saying it’s hard. And you know what it is. It’s hard grieving a father figure.

Fuck this show.

[skeletonh0e]

oh i saw the ace hcs so i could ask for the boys (platonic) with a lesbian reader who was really obvious they were a lesbian? just short hcs like the ace one hehe

reader: ok fine i’m a homosexual

all sanses gave this a Yeah.

Oh sweet! First platonic ask! So the route I'm assuming this is meant to take was the reader was closeted but like very poorly hiding? Got you!

Fem Reader with she/her pronouns obviously but otherwise no specific indication of gender identity

The Boys & A Lesbian Reader

Classic Sans:

Lesbe honest here, he probably knew the moment he looked at you

Between Undyne and Alphys gaydar is at peak, he knew even before you two were officially friends

He's happy you told him obviously but it's painfully clear this is a non issue for him

Might occasionally help wingman in his own Sans way with the ladies but yeah

You got his support boo

Underswap Sans:

Y/N: "Blue, I'm lesbian."

Blue: "I thought you were human???"

It'll click in a bit once you explain a bit which then it's just an "oooooh I knew that!"

Yeah you ain't slick you might as well have told him you need oxygen to breath

Now, stop thinking about girls and help him with this sick puzzle he's making!

Underfell Sans:

"no fuckin' shit."

Literally anytime he checked out some hot babes you were right there with him

Doesn't take a mind reader

And he probably would have hit on you at least once by now if you weren't cuz again this man is sleazy

Otherwise just expect a lot of "eating out" and pussy related jokes, but they're all in good fun

Underlust Sans:

You like girls? Sweet. He does too

Let's get some lattes and talk about them

He's not gay but he has some gay best friend energy for sure, so he's glad you figured it out but boo what took you so long?

Either way, he's definitely your wingman 100%

With his help you'll be a chick magnet in no time

Horrortale Sans:

Cool.

What do you want for dinner?

Zero fucks given, probably knew for a long ass time but he doesn't give any indication about that

Admittedly even in a platonic sense he's a little protective though

Any girl breaks your heart, let him know alright?

Fresh Sans:

The only one here that didn't figure it out!

He's kind of oblivious to sexuality in general, it applies to everyone really. So after a brief explain

"sweeeeet! wanna go skateboard?"

And that's that

Might get the occasional "is that your girrrrlfrriiiiieeend?" type teasing cuz this man is hella immature

Killer Sans:

"Explains why all your other friends are pussies then huh?"

Smack him he deserves it

Lowkey a toxic friend, why do you like him? Did you expect him to treat this with any form seriousness?

The jokes Classic and Red make are amplified here combined with the preschool teasing Fresh does

Do not let any future girlfriends meet him you will end up loveless

Dust Sans:

Shrugs

Literally has no reaction

Y/N: "You're not surprised?"

Dust: *proceeding to give you the most 'are you fr?' look possible*

But yeah this changes nothing, might get a little protective in a "Don't break my friends heart vein" but less intense than Axe is about it

Nightmare Sans:

Y/N: "I like women and only women."

Nightmare: "And I had sexual relations with Killer."

Y/N: ".....what?"

Nightmare: "Were we not stating the obvious?"

Unclear how serious he's being or if he's one hundred percent messing with you, otherwise just pats your head and goes off about his business

[newtbog]

think i’m getting invested in too many mlm ships, and i fear something terrible will happen if it gets too unbalanced

not enough yuri in my circle lately. tbh.

[yuukei-yikes]

dude i'm sorry for all the kanoshin posting but like the way shintaro immediately forgives kano for telling him as ayano how it was all his fault. what shintaro went through was so awful he lost all his friends and his Best friend committed suicide after apparently saying "it's YOUR fault for never noticing" like that shit does irreparable damage to ur well being bro. for all this time shintaro thought it was HIS FAULT that ayano killed herself

and when kano admits it was him who said that shintaro doesn't isolate it from everything else kano was going through at that moment, so he doesn't hold it against him and he forgives him so easily. and that bit is from shintaro's pov so when we switch back to kano and he's so guilty and sort of in disbelief shintaro doesn't hate him. sorry that entire part with kano's pov in the seventh novel reads SO extremely romantic towards shintaro it's crazy. maybe i'm just gay but "he used to smile at my sister in a different way than he'd smile for everyone else. now he's smiling at me just like that" girl. EXCUSE ME. i didnt even care about kanoshin when i first read the seventh novel btw and i was still like oh so kano's into him. got it.

like shintaro's the victim to probably the most cruel thing kano's ever done to someone and he FORGIVES HIM so for kano who hates himself it's like. something something he sees me at my worst and still has the nerve to be kind to me. something something.

and in between all that there's kido and mary like god shintaro ur so lameeee, and kano in his mind is like i think he's cool actually.... im not saying it out loud though. he's down so bad for him it's so funny because it switches from all those convoluted guilty feelings to kano sort of twiling his hair like omg he's so heroic. and it's kind of endearing

kano's crush on shintaro is infuriatingly well written it's crazy. and it's even crazier that it's by accident and then u read the stuff not written directly by jin like the anthologies and the manga and instead they go for the weird incest shit, it's so jarring lol. and i'm not saying jin intended for it to be romantic. in fact it seems to me at least like jin thinks haruka and shintaro are the gayest ones?? just from how he jokes around and stuff. but it's funny how he wrote all that for kano but NOOOO kano's like such a flirt with women he's totally a lady's man. what's REALLY gay is haruka and shintaro crying in front of each other. can u imagine, boys... crying and being vulnerable with each other... hahhh so gay!!! girl maybe but RIGHT before that u wrote haruka going on about how he realizes he's into takane romantically precisely because HE'S NOT into shintaro romantically. like it is very much a point he makes. sorry that was a side tangent. anyways.

[cator99]

out of curiosity, would you consider yourself butch?

used to be a blonde underweight twink and now I'm a based jock still got the chanel bag and the sick albeit matured mind of a suckpig to prove it so I'm gonna let you decide whether you wanna call me that word just cuz I got a pussy and short hair. I promise you that there have been enough advancements made in the art of lesbian sexual dynamics in the past 50 years to broaden the vocabulary used to describe the plethora of types of masculine females.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Someone on the "is it not enough to see Tuvok" post commented "Unfortunately, seeing Tuvok frequently requires also seeing a Neelix, which is unacceptable." and Bea, I am being sooo brave about it, I've not even murdered them (yet)

I am pinning this to your lapel like a purple heart:

They are worsties, they're divorced despite never being married, they have pigtail crushes on each other, they are mutually annoying co-workers, they are middle aged men and also high school girls with the most insane beef ever, family men without families, orchid breeders (one for sustenance and the other for beauty), they're everything.

[bbeelzemon]

redesigned my sona a bit and made myself a new icon for pride month!! their name is scrap (any pronouns) and theyre a transmasc nonbinary butch lesbian boar :]

[two-person-job]

heyheyhey. do you guys wanna know a secret :}

[romantically-yours]

I finally own decent heels and I want so badly to be able to use the newly acquired height to pin a cute girl against the wall and fluster her

[keeps-ache]

brrrba pa pa da de do ♩

[gratisdiamanten]

contemplating whether i need to go on anon for this or into witness protection. but i reject and actively pray for the downfall of all daniel girl delusions about him getting the rbr seat.... idc that you have a conspiracy board of explanation and that checo is "flopping" in a car that doesn't suit him as well as his teammate....

🤨 the f1blr hypocrisy of 'my fave is flopping in the car but his teammate is doing great so obviously its NOT HIS FAULT' vs 'my fave deserves this seat bc the current racer is flopping but his teammate is doing great and this is obviously HIS FAULT'

now if yuki gets the red bull seat? im listening. i can dream about promotion.

Now see I cook up plots and schemes to get Daniel back in that seat so Max can finish him off for good measure

[iloveotters2000]

Still constantly overwhelmed, but I'm getting professional help, which is nice and leaves me hopeful. Maybe it'll give me the energy to maintain my friendships again because I have been self-isolating more and more frequently.

I still miss seeing her sometimes, but it's more the concept of her I think. And the concept of someone who understands me deeply. Someone who feels the same emotional turbulence. She's hurt me though by (I feel) distancing herself, cancelling activities last minute, making me feel like I'm not important (which was even more present when we were dating and everything went south). I still like her as a person, but because she struggles w the same exact issues it is hard to get a sense of security and safety in our relationship...it's also hard to maintain boundaries when we were once closer than just friends.... It's not a very healthy dynamic, although I don't want to admit it and I especially don't want to lose her....