#things can still be complicated. it doesn't need to be black and white like that. it usually isn't in real life

[halfsixwakeup]

Okay, so. Slay the Princess/In Stars and Time AU! Get ready for lots of words!!

After the 'There Are No Endings' ending in StP, The Shifting Mound and The Long Quiet emerge from the Construct as fully realised Gods. The Narrator's world, already on the verge of self-destruction, fully collapses. But like Shifty said, a new world is born from its ruins; the world of ISaT.

After Shifty and Quiet have spent however many millions of years dancing and fighting or whatever, life has developed again, and they take an interest.

Shifty doesn't much care for humans individually. They're too small to be worth Her time, not to mention how short their lives are. But they're intelligent enough to perceive things, and as a being that becomes what others perceive Her to be, that's very useful. Sure, a single human's belief doesn't count for much, but hundreds, thousands of them? That's a significant difference. So She cultivates a large following, carefully presenting Herself as an ever-changing God of limitless possibility, guiding Her followers to use their belief to Change themselves and the world around them. Her people develop, and soon enough The House of Change spreads all through the young nation of Vaugarde and beyond.

Quiet, as is His nature, does not actively seek out humans. They're interesting enough to watch, but He's happy to leave them be. Instead, a small group of humans, an island just North of Her followers, call out to Him. Or they nearly do, at least. They call out to the Universe, to the World As It Is, to the infinite dark expanse of the night sky. They ask, they beg, they Wish for help; help with their struggles and challenges. He feels pity for them. He'd never truly been mortal, but when He was first created He'd certainly thought He was. He can relate to them in some ways. So He responds, and the Country of ✦ prospers with his help.

Shifty and Quiet aren't the only ones to have left the Construct though. The Voices, eleven fragments of Quiet's mind, eventually become tired of the empty ruins of The Narrator's little bubble, and make their way to the world of humans. Instead of returning to Quiet, though, they follow He and Shifty's example, picking a group of humans to guide. They settle in a country far to the east of Vaugarde, where they advise people as and when they're each needed. They become known as the 11 Expressions of Ka Bue, and the people around them grow.

Everything's going fine until one of Quiet's followers Wishes for the color yellow to disappear. He'd been so used to the endless black-and-white of the Construct, He hadn't consciously noticed these new 'colors'. And as soon as He does notice, they all disappear, replaced with what his subconscious says is Meant To Be There. And try as He might, He can't bring them back. So instead he limits Wishes. Only those who know the correct rituals can Wish for things from Him. They're overly-complicated, but they're a protection.

Meanwhile, The House of Change is developing further. Worshipers now use idols, small statues of Shifty's infinite forms. They're diverse and intricate, each one unique to what each follower Perceives Her to look like. The only common features are a vaguely feminine appearance and some form of crown. Copying Her example, the people of Vaugarde learn to Change themselves, in mind and body, and to be accepting of that Change.

In Ka Bue, the Voices have multiplied. Originally they had each chosen a host, a single person for each of them to help. But as they did so, new Voices appeared, splintering from the original eleven in the same way they had from Quiet. Their numbers grew until it was decided that they wouldn't be 'with' someone all the time. Instead, a human would request the company and help of a specific voice they needed the help of.

Eventually, Quiet's 'ritual' idea stops working. Wishes are still harder to make, but the knowledge of them keeps spreading, and soon enough they're just as common as before. So He takes more drastic action. The world forgets the island of ✦. It's still there, carrying on as normal. But its location, language and culture are lost to the rest of the world, and the memories of Wishing and rituals quickly fade.

In Dormont, a small town in Vaugarde, Shifty finds something special. There is a House there, like most Vaugardian towns, filled with Housemaidens Changing themselves and the world around them. But there is one who does not want to Change. She adores Change as much as any other Housemaiden, both watching it and bringing it about personally. But she feels no desire to Change herself. She also loves the stillness of knowing just who she is, and knowing that she will stay the same. Something about it feels right to Shifty. It reminds her of what They once were, that beautiful Whole that She and Quiet had been before the Narrator split them apart. This Housemaiden, 'Mirabelle', is by far Her favourite follower.

One day, Quiet hears a Wish from beyond the island of ✦. It rings out, carrying an intense desperation. A man from ✦, now in Vaugarde, has lost who he is. He cannot remember his old home, and he is terrified that his new one, Vaugarde, will suffer the same fate. Quiet feels guilt over the man's fate, and grants his Wish. He gives him a power that reflects His nature as a God of Stillness; the power to pause time itself, so that he can preserve a moment for longer before it inevitably changes. But the man takes this power and pushes it further. He sets about using it to freeze all of Vaugarde.

From there it's pretty much just the events of ISaT, any actual AU story I write would be post-game stuff with the Gods talking to Siffrin and the Party.

Also! Odile brought several Voices with her to Vaugarde!

The Voice of the Curious

The Voice of the Determined

The Voice of the Skeptic (The Original!!)

That's all I've got for now, but I'm planning on adding some original story that's not just using StP to explain ISaT's timeline, so I'll post that when I figure it out! Hope you enjoy the silly crossover!

[xinnamonbun]

Taco from Inanimate Insanity is a beautifully written character that is usually described as "hot manipulative evil British lady" but this not only drastically simplifies her character but also isn't even scratching the surface of her personality.

People often seem to forget that as much as Taco is certainly very manipulative throughout the course of season 1, and late season 2, she understands that her behavior isn't "correct" and feels bad about this. Does this mean that she isn't manipulative afterwards? No. No it does not. But it does mean that she feels remorse and regret which people do not credit enough. She isn't some heartless monster, like she claims she is. She isn't a fully redeemed object, like half of the Inanimate Insanity community claims. She is a very morally complicated character and claiming that she is as black or white as early season 2 Yin or Yang is incorrect.

People also forgot one very important aspect of her character, she's a silly :3. She believes the game is, well, a game. She can use the players to get her to the victory line. But she really does try to have fun with it on the way there! Between still finding amusement in team "Chicken Leg" and using the invisi-bows like toys she finds way to have fun with the game, in her own special way. People often simply view her as sadistic which isn't fully untrue, but that isn't the only thing to her. I've seen people characterize her as some cold sinister Mastermind, but that just isn't her vibe.

And finally I'd like to bring up the elephant in the room, or should I say the Pickle... Throughout the game she has certainly hurt people both physically (but who in this game hasn't) and emotionally and she feels bad about this, and is even gone as far as to apologize several times to people. However the one big problem with this is that she thinks she is owed forgiveness. Pickle and Microphone, the two individuals she has easily hurt the most, don't have any obligation to forgive her and she seems to struggle with this concept yet at the same time doesn't really change unless she gains something out of it. She was genuinely starting to change the longer she spent with Microphone but she only started this change in order to become closer with Microphone both to use her and to have something to feel wanted again. Granted she does keep this change and tries to help the rest of the contestants by leading them away from what she believes is what has broken her and them, the game, but she still has a long way to go before she can be considered redeemed.

Neither Mic nor Pickle owe her forgiveness. She needs to move on from them and from the show in order to properly grow. MePad attempts to help her with this but it is still understandably a difficult concept for her to grasp. I would like to mention though, as much as neither Mic nor Pickle owe her forgiveness I don't think it's necessarily impossible. It is for Pickle- but Mic has a chance. But this forgiveness can only happen after Taco has moved on. Once Mic has seen that Taco has moved on and has become a better person without Mic needing to convince her to be better, then Mic and Taco can talk and forgive without them being each other's only means of support. However Taco has to move on first.

...

I've been typing for so long but I kind of forgot what you asked, what was the challenge? Oh right! "Describe her in a meaningful way" well uh... I hope I did that? Also by the way if I failed I don't exactly know how you're going to shoot me in the balls since I don't have any but um boobs are ball shaped? I guess?...I'm going to stop talking now-

hello tumblr user. in front of you there is an character who happens to be a woman AND an antagonist who severely struggles with letting go (it is the healthiest choice for her), hurted a lot of people (that do not want her back on their lives), and is extremely violent due to her lack of care for everyone on general. your challenge is to describe her on a meaningful way and to NOT just say things such as "she's hot" "girlboss" or "she can do that to me any time" and you also have to actually care about her as a person. if you fail i am shooting you in the balls. the challenge starts NOW

[byanyan]

I've talked a fair amount about how byan has been bullied and hurt by teachers in the past (& how they'd hit their limit and seek drastic revenge, in some cases), but I've never really talked much about how byan has also bullied and outright tormented teachers for themself... like yeah, it's definitely because they don't trust teachers or authority figures in general due to their past experiences, but that doesn't mean that their 9th grade math teacher deserved to feel afraid for his own safety or that their 10th grade biology teacher should have been so stressed that she retired early. byan has been done dirty by a lot of people in their life but they've also been a genuine menace to others who gave them no real reason to be, and they have taken enjoyment in it in a lot of cases.

[shimmerluna]

i'm really not mad about how they ended it with wilmon tbh

[inkskinned]

you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.

you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.

instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.

you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.

your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.

because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.

so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.

all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.

[nofomogirl]

We need to talk about body snatching

I'm not a massive fan of the 1827 minisode - if you're curious why it bothers me, I've explained it in my post about two GO canons - but there's no denying it does an amazing job at exploring the complexity of morality and moral choices. It starts with a very black-and-white two-dimensional image and gradually adds shading and perspective, making it harder and harder to judge as we go along.

I think it's worth digging into (pun not intended but I'll take it).

Layer 1: body snatching bad

We learn someone did something

It's those first few seconds where we see a person robbing a grave, and since we know that robbing graves is a crime and generally not a good thing to do, we can quickly form a tentative conclusion that this is wrong.

Okay, in this exact instance, we immediately get enough context clues to see that this kind of judgment would be oversimplistic and superficial. Only Aziraphale, who for some reason acts as if it was his first day on Earth after a thorough memory wipe, is ready to condemn Elspeth based on just that.

Nevertheless, this is the first layer - the deed itself with no context.

Layer 2: body snatching acceptable

We learn about the person who did the thing

That's the whole journey with the first dug-up body where we get to know Elspeth and become privy to her circumstances - she's desperately poor, she has another person depending on her, she robs graves to survive. Aziraphale's suggestions that she might earn her living by selling books, weaving or farming just serve to prove how inaccessible more honest and dignified professions are to her. In turn, her comment about how she's not hurting anybody who isn't already dead hints that from the realistically available options, Elspeth could have chosen something much worse.

Technically this layer is a significant step up from layer 1 but it still isn't really challenging. Things are spelt out really loud for us, and most importantly everything we learn about Elspeth is just attenuating circumstances. To top it off both she and Wee Morag are immediately endearing. The takeaway is that sometimes things that in theory are bad can be excused which is important but the verdict still comes without any second thoughts.

Layer 3: body snatching complicated

We learn the larger context around the thing

This mostly happens when Aziraphale and Crowley discuss body snatching with Mr Dalrymple. We learn that the stolen corpses are used for a medical study that can advance human knowledge and make it possible to save living people and that surgeons have no legal means to obtain enough of them for their research - hence their need to buy them from body snatchers.

At first glance it's just more of what we got in layer 2 - more agruments in favour of body snatching that aren't all that nuanced and don't really give us any pause - just from a larger perspective, beyond Elspeth's individual experience. But if you glance more than once you'll notice this is when things stop being straightforward and easy to judge.

The moment we enter a proper grey area is when Aziraphale asks why Mr Dalrymple doesn't acquire the bodies himself. This is a very valid question - while we might easily agree that studying the human body to further medical knowledge is a good thing, and with just the slightest hesitation admit that it's acceptable to resort to using stolen bodies if that is the only way the research may continue, it's not as easy to excuse taking advantage of the poor and the desperate to do the actual stealing that we know is very dangerous.

The moment we know without a doubt we are in a proper grey area is when Mr Dalrymple laughs at Aziraphale's concern.

Objectively, the surgeon is right that it's more effective if he doesn't risk his own life in the graveyard and uses his time on actual research, teaching students and saving lives. But it's also clear he doesn't exactly see people like Elspeth as actual human beings and feels he has every right to use them. On the one hand, he is paying, on the other, he happily benefits from the cruel class system and is not even one bit remorseful about it. On the one hand, he takes risks too, on the other he has a chance of rewards Elspeth will not benefit from. It's not the poorest whose lives will get bettered by the progress of medicine, even though they're the ones who pay with their lives for that progress. And if Mr Dalrymple gets lucky and is knighted for his work (we know he wasn't in the end but it was a possibility), the poor still won't be pardoned for stealing for him. Nevertheless, he has no issue with that.

As I said, things get nuanced.

Layer 4: it's different when it's someone you know

The thing actually happens in your life

I think you'll all agree that the turning point of the minisode is when Elspeth decides to sell Wee Morag's still warm body. This is what finally leaves us speechless.

That's because up until now we've been approaching the issue intellectually. It's not that we didn't care about the characters, but we were allowed to keep a safe distance. The whole thing was like a problem to be solved - "Is body snatching right or wrong? Discuss in 500-1000 words" - and everything we've learned so far was data for this assignment. I believe that one of the reasons why this detachment came naturally was that there was a very thick line between people involved in body snatching and the bodies that were being snatched. The former were, well, people, obviously. The latter were inanimate objects.

It isn't until Wee Morag is to be sold that we are forced to see a person in a dead body. This is also when real emotions enter the equation.

This shift forces us to question our judgment for the first time. It was easy to justify Elspeth when she was selling a nameless corpse. But the fact that she decided to sell her closest companion - and most likely lover - shocks us. Something inside us strongly objects to how quickly she makes the decision.

And then there's the transaction, and it is also different when it's someone we know. The fact that we knew Wee Morag fully exposes Mr Dalrymple for the heartless jerk that he is. The way he treats Elspeth is the absolute worst and if you haven't realized he was a hypocrite earlier, you should be disillusioned by now.

But at least Elspeth is not a hypocrite, right? It may seem cold that she sold Wee Morag but it just proves she simply believed it's all right to sell a dead body, doesn't it?

Well, about that...

Layer 5: it's different when it's you

You are forced to face the thing happening to you

This layer is reached when Elspeth plans her suicide and asks Aziraphale and Crowley to bury her "somewhere where no ghouls will ever dig her back up again".

It turns out Elspeth McKinnon really was a filthy liar.

Not long ago she was insisting that body snatching doesn't hurt anyone who isn't already dead, and asking why she should let Wee Morag rot in the ground when she starves. But she wants to make sure it doesn't happen to her own body. The idea that someone might dig her up terrifies her and she calls people who do it ghouls. So why was digging up other people okay again? Why should she rot in the ground while other people suffer? There were other people living in the street where she and Wee Morag hid. Why not ask Aziraphale to give the money to them? Or just anybody in need? Why not ask to sell her body as well and use the earnings the same way?

Also, if you look at it from a certain perspective, Elspeth betrayed Wee Morag in the worst possible way. Wee Morag believed that if someone's body gets cut, that person's soul cannot enter Heaven. Yet Elspeth sold her to Mr Dalrymple, claiming that Wee Morag would have wanted her to have the means to survive. Perhaps she was right. Perhaps Wee Morag would have made that sacrifice. But then Elspeth decided to kill herself and use the money she got for Wee Morag's body for her own funeral.

But does it make Elspeth wicked? Certainly not. She's simply torn by grief. I seriously doubt she's been planning to commit suicide when she was taking Wee Morag to Mr Dalrymple. She might have genuinely tried to carry on but the reality of what happened caught up to her. Mr Dalrymple's cruel words certainly didn't help her cope with a personal tragedy. I even suspect one of the reasons she sold her friend was that she had no idea what else to do with a dead body.

Does this excuse her actions? Kind of, but not really.

Elspeth was a tragic character, not an innocent lamb with a heart of gold.

The point is - can any of us really judge her?

Which, coincidentally, is a question that the original Good Omens book toyed with quite a lot.

If you've reached this far, thank you for reading!

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

What are you trying to say? - Trevor Zegras

Word Count - 3600

Author's Note - I 100 percent projected my own dysleixia hardcore into this. This was 100 percent written for the dyslexic girlies and learning disability girlies only. Also not me accidentally maybe becoming a Trevor girlie after writing this oh no. This one is by far my favorite segment.

Warnings - light angst but like it ends happy shocking for this page, who am I becoming???

Summary - In the talking stage with Trevor Zegras you're not sure how his joking personality will respond to your struggles that you have with being an adult with dyslexia, especially since it doesn't affect you how media expects it to.

Let me love you masterlist main masterlist

This isn’t something new to you, you’ve struggled your entire life with the fact that you're dyslexic. It’s a lot more complicated than people may recognize. Many people assume that it only comes up when you're trying to read something like a textbook or an article, and that when you’re finished with school it won’t really affect your daily life anymore but that’s far from the truth. In truth, being an adult with dyslexia affects you in little ways daily. From having difficulty knowing your left and right when given verbal directions, your spelling being terrible when texting others, mispronouncing certain words and being easily embarrassed when it gets pointed out, or worse sometimes the word is literally on the tip of your tongue you can even physically see in your brain but your mouth can’t form the proper sounds, how certain fonts you struggle to read vs others, or that black ink on white paper is the bane of your existence.  Although all of these are “little” things, it does impact the way you communicate with others. It does feel extremely frustrating sometimes feeling like people think that you're using your dyslexia as an “excuse” when in reality your brain is wired completely differently because of it. 

Since you first met Trevor and started talking to him, you had that fear you always do in the pit of your stomach, will he pick on you the first time that he truly can’t understand a text or the first time he hears you mispronounce a word despite years of speech therapy where you tried to but still you can’t pronounce correctly. Although, part of you knew that your fear was extremely irrational, part of you couldn’t shake the feeling that was until proven otherwise the jokester in Trevor would make a joke about something you truly couldn’t control. 

That is until today, when it happened it’s one of those rare days when you were driving and Trevor was in the passenger seat. His car was in the shop, and he needed a ride back from the arena to his apartment. Originally he was going to take an Uber but since you both already had plans after the morning skate you insisted on picking him up. 

“It’s easiest if you take this right up here to get back to my place.” He directs you without looking up from his phone,you tell him okay, turn on your left turn signal and get in the left lane. Trevor finally looks up from his phone while you're waiting at the red light for it to turn green to see you're in the wrong lane. 

“Sweetie?” asking in a questioning tone

“Hmmm” 

“This is the left lane. I told you to take a right.” Trevor says in a concerning tone as to how you were five traffic lanes away from where you needed to be. 

“sorry I thought you said ‘left’. I can make a u-turn?” Deciding in the moment you didn’t want to admit that you heard him correctly but processed the direction wrong, you offered as the traffic light finally turned green. 

“It’s alright we can just take the long way. Don’t worry about a u-turn.”  Not seeming to care at all that it will add an extra 10 minutes to the drive due to the mistake. 

As you continued driving you ended up making another wrong turn, Trevor put his left hand on your thigh and subconsiously rubbed small circles into skin to comfort your growing anxiety, he could feel this odd tension that was built up in the car. “Can you point please?” your voice barely over a whisper as you felt extremely embarrassed all of a sudden and started feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden. 

“Yeah Y/N/N I can do that, we could also switch places. I can drive you the rest of the way if you need it if you're feeling anxious all of a sudden.” Trevor was being really sweet, trying to fix the problem at hand thinking it was just some anxious thoughts and not your brain processing audible information incorrectly. 

“No, pointing is good.” Forcing yourself to look straight ahead because you don’t want to accidentally catch his eyes as he looks at you with a worried look. He squeezes your thigh in a comforting way and drops the topic. The rest of the ride felt quick as he pointed and said the direction you needed to go until you reached his apartment. Finding a parking spot in the garage you parked your car, as soon as you felt your foot on the brake, and your right hand pulled the gear in park, you leaned back automatically and sighed grateful you were done driving. Trevor still had his hand on your thigh, he turned his neck so that his head was also resting on the headrest. 

Trevor patiently waited until you opened your eyes, turning to him with a soft smile. “You ready?” you ask him, as you start to unbuckle your seatbelt. As you grab your purse from the back, your hand on the door handle. His hand that was on your thigh is gone and immediately pulls you by the wrist back into your seat. As he takes his other hand and gently places it on your cheek forcing you to look at him. 

“Can we talk about it?” His voice was steady, calm, confident but soft, almost as if he was scared of your reaction. 

Smiling a little wider now, in a split second you try to decide what you want to do. Do you want to tell a boy who you’ve only been casually talking to and hanging out with a handful of times - one of them being this current moment - about being dyslexic. Although it’s not that big of a deal in retrospect, it’s something that you can never take back once you said the words. Even though it’s something so simple and common no one ever looks at you the same again. Were you ready to tell Trevor, and see his face change permanently or did you want to live in ignorant bliss for a little longer. 

“I’m fine, it’s just when I drive somewhere new I like listening to the GPS and not a person telling me directions, it helps me focus better is all.” sheepishly you admit. 

Ignorant Bliss. That’s the choice you made. 

“Okay well next time, can you tell me that so I don’t have to watch you stress yourself out please?” His hand that was on your wrist, going down to your hand playing with your hand. Taking your hand that he was playing with, fully grasping his you squeeze his hand as a silent yes, and nod your head. He leans over the middle console and quickly peaks your lips as if it was a last minute impulse and he meant the cheek. “Thank you, let's go inside.” 

—-------------------------------

Living in ignorant bliss was great for a few weeks, until you started to actually like Trevor. Talking to a guy for a few months and it not going anywhere vs meeting someone and potentially seeing at least an exclusive relationship with them were two very different things. Knowing that you saw a relationship with him in the future meant it was only a matter of time before he found out that your dyslexic which again isn’t that big of a deal, but the fact that you also lied to him a few weeks ago. Not telling him is one thing, but lying when he asked why you were struggling to drive that day is a completely different act. 

Trying to put off the inevitable you tried to push the thought to the back of your mind. Somehow convincing yourself that if you didn’t think about it, then the problem would disappear he would never find out. I mean when you didn’t know how to spell a word while texting, you just spoke it into your phone. As far as grammar no one really had perfect grammar when texting including Trevor to be perfectly honest he probably didn’t even notice half the time. Plenty of people kept all their devices in dark mode for plenty of reasons, he had no reason to ask, although you did it because it helped your eyes stay focused on the words in front of you, not for the aesthetic. 

Even so, with all of these excuses as to why he wouldn’t notice you failed to remember that certain words you truly can’t pronounce the correct way no matter how hard you try. It all came crashing down tonight when you were at Trevor’s apartment cooking dinner for the both of you. Dinner was almost done at this point, when Trevor came behind you just now re-entering the kitchen after taking an expected call from his little sister. Trevor wrapped his arms around your waist, his head resting on top of your shoulder. 

“Everything okay?” you ask your curiosity getting the best of you, even though you know it’s none of your business. 

“Yeah she’s fine.” Pressing a kiss into where your jawline and neck meet. “smells good.” He compliments your cooking as he teases you one more time with a small nip with his teeth where he just kissed you, before pulling away and resting his head on your shoulder. 

Answering shyly, you let out a “thank you.”

“Anything I can help with?” asking genuinely although you're not sure if it’s to be kind or if it’s because he’s hungry but either way you’ll take it. As he slowly unwraps himself from you, getting ready to help you in any way you need. 

Without looking up from the chicken that you're grilling on the stove, trying to concentrate on the task at hand you answer him. “Yeah actually can you grab out the mellk from the fridge for the mashed potatoes.” Not even thinking twice about what you just said until you heard a chuckle coming from across the kitchen. 

“What babe?” standing in front of a now open fridge, he could have sworn you tried to say milk but botched the word so badly, it couldn’t have possibly been.

“the mellk” finally noticing what you asked for, knowing this is one of the words people can’t help but point out how you butcher it. 

“What are you trying to say?” he asked, truly confused now that he heard it twice. 

“M - il - k “ you repeat slowing down your mouth trying to force yourself to pronounce it properly but also not speak too slowly. Hoping that it's noticeable as you force your tongue to the roof of your mouth to make the “il” sound.  

A small chuckle leaves Trevor’s lips but it wasn’t a malicious way, it was as if he chuckled because he found it adorable. “Here's the milk baby.” walking back over to you and placing it on the empty counter space next to the bowl of steaming hot cooked potatoes. Taking the chicken off the hot burner you moved to the island to where the potatoes were. 

“Sorry” you mumble as he stands beside you, his hip resting on the side of the island. 

“For what?” His eyebrows frowned, his eyes focused the side of your face the only thing he could see. Focusing on the task at hand, you used the potato masher and mashed the potatoes. Opening the milk and adding a little along with some butter that you set out earlier. 

Feeling the rise of some anxiety in your stomach, hoping that you could procrastinate just a little longer on admitting that you didn’t tell him the whole truth. Deciding if now was the time or if you were gonna dig yourself in a bigger hole by wrapping yourself in a thicker web of tiny white lies. 

Finally turning your head to the side to face him and taking a deep breath. 

For good measure making one more deep breath before you barely utter the words, your nerves getting the better of you. “I lied.” 

Trevor’s face immediately changed from confusion and concern. In an instant it became shocking and almost hurt, that the girl he thought was actually going somewhere a month in, is admitting to lying to him. Not when he told her in the beginning that lying wasn’t something he tolerated after his ex lied to him for months and manipulated him. Not when he just told his little sister not even ten minutes ago on the phone that tonight he was gonna ask you to be his official girlfriend. “What are you talking about?” his voice cracking before he could even get the word out, quickly clearing his throat to cover up his own insecurities about the possible tension that could slowly be felt brewing in his kitchen. 

“Remember a few weeks, when I was driving you to your apartment from the stad-” 

“What the FUCK does that have to do with lying to me? When did you lie to me Y/N” Not only has Trevor never once raised his voice at you in a not joking way, but he’s never cursed at you, and his tone made you close your eyes and flinch at the impact. Immediately, seeing you flinch he sighed his hand going to lightly crease her arm closest to him. “When did you lie?” asking at a much softer tone than moments before. 

“I’m trying to explain.” Trevor could have sworn he felt his chest hurt when he heard you struggling to speak, as if you were trying to get yourself not to cry. “Please let me explain.” 

“Okay” he softly let out, as he squeezed your arm not sure if he was trying to comfort you or himself as he felt the possibility of you slipping through his fingers. 

“A few weeks ago when I drove you home.” finally turning her body fully turning to face him. “I lied, When you asked me what happened. I told you I need the GPS because I get overwhelmed.” Pausing to make sure that Trevor was following along, he nodded along, “I lied, sort of,” your voice picking up in speed with each word you uttered out  “I mean I do get overwhelmed while driving but it’s not because of that it’s not that I” 

“Baby please take a breath you're scaring me” His other arm is going to cup your cheek, even though he was mad before as he heard you fixated on driving him home a few weeks ago. He knew it couldn’t have possibly been any of the terrible ideas that popped into his head, at least Trevor hoped not.

 “I sometimes get my left and right confused.” Looking up trying to gauge his reaction, watching as one of his eyebrows go down, as if to say ‘that’s all.’ 

“Okay. So that was the lie? Everyone gets confused sometimes and makes mistakes baby it’s okay” His famous smile slowly takes over his face. 

“That’s the thing is it isn’t sometimes, it’s kind of a lot when I’m driving when someone is giving me directions without pointing, and there are other things too. I mean they're small but they still affect me almost daily and I just.” 

Deciding to take a breath because if you don’t you will be more likely to trip up your words or stutter. “I’m dyslexic and it’s not really how they describe the movies.” 

His smile dropped a little and you swear it felt as if your heart felt as if it had just dropped a hundred flights down the Empire State building. “Dyslexic. Like you mix up letters when reading?”

“Yeah but it’s more than that.”

“Okay. But why didn’t you tell me when it happened? Why did you say it’s because you get overwhelmed.” 

“Because I do get overwhelmed when I make dumb mistakes like that. Plus, everytime I tell someone they never look at me the same. A lot of times they are shocked, and they also sometimes judge me because how does it not affect me the way the media portrays it? Why do I mispronounce words, why can’t I tell my left and right when someone gives me a direction, why I can’t read maps to save my fucking life but yet if I don’t have my GPS running I’m bound to a wrong turn, why does sometimes my mind decide I either can’t come up with a word at all or I can physically see it but I can’t say it and I can’t spell it because I’m such a bad speller.” 

“Shhh” not trying to cut you off but also trying to get you to breathe. “So you didn’t tell me cause you were scared I would look at you differently? Or judge you when something you can’t control comes out at random times of the day? That’s why you told me to point instead of just saying it because you didn’t wanna tell me in fear?” Not sure his tone is showing remorse for you thinking that at all or hurting that you ever would think of him in that way. 

“Yeah.” you embarrassingly admit.

Trevor spent the rest of the night listening to you and how your brain was different due to your own personal experience with being a dyslexic. The next morning you found him reading an article about the effects of different lighting and how dark mode was the best for dyslexics and certain fonts were better than others. It made you chuckle as you told him you knew and that’s why your phone was permanently in dark mode.  That day, he changed all the settings on his tv’s in his entire apartment for dark mode, even all of his own personal devices. Finding it adorable that he went on a tangent when he found out certain apps don’t support dark mode and how he said it was discriminating. Finding it harder and harder for yourself to hide your soft smile as you watched him continue his rant, your heart swelling at how passionate he sounded. 

“I really like you, you know.” you admitted when he finally stopped complaining about how Mirosoft finally started supporting dark mode it was still ‘white paper’ on black ink so they really missed the whole point. 

“Oh yeah.” as he grabs you, pulling you towards him on the couch, tangling your legs with his. 

“Yup” popping the p for emphasis.

“I really like you too. Actually I was gonna ask you.. Wanna make this official and let me call you mine.” The blush was obvious on your face, immediately turning a light red shade, nodding your head he pulled you into a soft kiss. 

—---------------------------------------------

A few weeks later you were out to dinner with a few close friends and Trevor. Currently trying to tell a story about one of your new coworkers and how you didn’t like him but mid sentence you froze. Trevor had yet to see you freeze because the word you planned to say completely escaped you. Of course this wasn’t new to your friends as they saw the familiar signs, the way in which you paused, your lips pursed in a questioning way, your hand coming up and shaking knowing it was on the tip of your tongue and you just couldn’t think of it or couldn’t pronounce it. 

What your friends weren’t used to was seeing Trevor respond to it. His response to you struggling made all of them share a glance in approval of his small action. He took your shaking hand and slipped it into his own. Immediately your small flustered expression on your face turns to him. Your friends couldn’t hear what you were saying between yourselves if you were even talking at all, but they could see the care in Trevors eyes and how your frustration seemed to melt away.

“Hi” he whispers only for you to hear after a couple seconds pass. 

A smile breaks out on your face. “Hi” 

“What are you trying to say?” repeating the same sentence that he asked you weeks ago when you asked him to get the milk out the fridge. 

“I can’t think of it.” a sigh leaving your lips. 

“Describe it.” His forehead resting on yours as you look into his eyes. 

“You know, like a red flag.” 

“Like in dating? So a slang term?” 

“I think.” Pausing for a few seconds for your brian to catch up. “But I know it’s not called a red flag, but it’s like it, I think, like when someone does something and immediately you're like ew.” 

“An ick?” he softly suggests. Immediately your mouth forms into an o-shape in shock, making his mouth twitch into the slightest smile. Kissing his check quickly and whispering a quick ‘thanks’ and turning back to your friends. 

“Okay so like this new dude thinks he can come in and just boss all me and my other co-workers around. That’s not even the worst part like not only is he lowkey sexist, he literally only wears highwaters, immediate ick…” Trevor sat there half listening to your story with a huge smile on his face, hand on your thigh drawing patterns subconsciously as he sipped on his drink. He loves listening to you talk, how you get lost in telling stories and he’s happy he was able to help you instead of you pushing it to the side like you did all those months ago. 

That’s how it is from that night on, anytime you text him and he can’t understand it, or you can’t think of a word, or butcher the pronunciation; he will simply turn to you and ask “What are you trying to say?” 

[miiukkaa]

raph's subway room 🧸

personally speaking, raph is both an easy and a difficult character to understand. he has grown up with the responsibilty of having to look after his younger brothers. he definitely can be rowdy, playful, goofy and irresponsible but there's a sense of responsibility that he carries and holds onto. i mention this only because i feel this shows in him wanting to let his brothers have things over himself (things like furniture, trinkets, food... just stuff in general). not in a dramatic way in which he'd sacrifice EVEYRYTHING for the sake of others and thus neglect his own needs, no, no, it's not black and white like that. this would simply mean that he owns less furniture/trinkets/things than what you'd imagine. a mindful guy looking out for those he loves (let us not forget that he looks after himself, too).

i gave the big guy a big bed which is supported by the subway car's seats opposite to one another as well as cinder blocks. again, very little space underneath the bed. there're a few teddybears by the foot of the bed (note that the mattress isn't as wide as the car so the bears are just sitting on the seat).

raph is a RnB fan and has shown to own a collection of vinyl records. i was feeling generous so i gave him a vinyl record player with an amp right next to his bed.

while i could have moved his DIY bench press in the car, i rather it stayed outside of the car as seen in the movie. he would probably still have some weights stored in his room (he could easily use smaller weights in his room, too - i feel there's enough room for that).

opposite to the main entrance, he'd have a clothing line to hang some of his clothes. oh, and the door on the right side? that's just half-open. i'm not sure if raph himself would fit through a half-opened door but i like to imagine it's more of a window to him anyway. (from the bed he would lean a little to squint what's happening outside before shouting "hey, what's the commotion about!?" or something).

posters! first we have ghostbear's poster which we have seen in raph's sewer room. i feel he would have ripped the poster off of the wall after feeling betrayed by the wrestler but then later taped it back up after having calmed down and feeling remorseful. he still does admire the sport and ghostbear after all. complicated feelings.

a new lou jitsu poster in which our favorite rat man is simply just posing for the fans. speaking of the rat man, i'd like to think he helped raph write down the famous japanese quote from the show: 「あなたは一人じゃない」 translated to "you're not alone". i mean, if i were raph, i'd want to write the quote down... ESPECIALLY since he doesn't know the language and it's easy to forget for that reason. it's like splinter signed his poster for his son in a way :)

the mad dogs flag looks like it was bought rather than self-made... so i doubt they would have bought just one for leo. i mean "mad dogs" is their thing so you gotta get all the siblings involved kind of like a shared tattoo!!

then a silly little drawing by mikey in which he drew raph flexing :)

and speaking of mikey! there's some graffiti art by him! both of them are near identical to the ones seen in raph's sewer room but... one of them just says "boss!" and the other is just flames.

a very simple room design but i feel it's just enough for raph :]

leo's room

mikey's room

[digitalagepulao]

My sincere Black Myth: Wukong review

Full disclosure! This is from a recent but earnest fan of JTTW as the original novel, as well as all the social, cultural and religious layers of it. I've seen my fair share of adaptations and derivative media, from shlocky to silly to grimdark to cutesy. I'm a bachelor in visual arts, with an interest in the field of game development since high school. I am also, white and brazillian, and have talked with other jttw fans, both Chinese and not, on this game. If any of these are for some reason motive to not read further, then fair enough. Hope you have fun and continue to enjoy the game, do not let me or my opinion stop you!

Now to the review proper <3

First things first, let the obvious not remain unsaid. This game, is supremely gorgeous. In every sense of the word, and I mean this fully, it's a work of art. The sound design, the character concepts and execution, the animations, the voice acting, the visual effects, the UI design, the cinematography, the 3D scanning of actual historical artofacts and heritage sites throughout China, and everything beyond and between, are phenomenal, full stop.

This was never a debate, I'm sure, but I don't think I can in good conscience not praise them for their work. It's no news that Asian talent, not just in China either, have been often hired to supplement projects on the West, and we can all agree it's about time they got to shine in their own AAA project. My issues with the international game industry notwithstanding, I hope this brings some much needed acknowledgment and appreciation for Chinese culture and arts, both traditional and modern!

Now, from this point on, THERE WILL BE SPOILERS, so proceed with caution!

(word count: +1.8k)

I also deeply enjoy their choices in arcs to revisit. Some like the Flaming Mountain arc are classic picks to adapt but still a very good match to the whole Six Senses throughline. I don't think you can do a JTTW 2 electric bogaloo without bringing up Niumowang and his family in some way (um, put a pin on that), but the other arcs like Yellowbrow or Black Wind Mountain aren't as explored imo, so it's nice to see them being given a bit of a spotlight.

(speaking of the Yellow Ridge arc, whoever made the executive decision of Lingji Bodhisattva being a Xaanxi singer is, genius!!)

I'm also kind of in love?? with Bajie's design and role in the story overall?? Gameplay wise he sticks around just enough to not feel lonely, but not too long to be a nuisance or overstay his welcome. He's no Atreus (GoW) or Ellie (TLoU) of course, but he doesn't need to be, and most importantly, he isn't trying to be, which I feel is admirable of the devs. Given the visible inspirations from the recent God of War games, it would have been easy to lean a bit too hard on it, but I'm glad they didn't overreach.

Him having a more complex love life is also a nice touch imo. It explores more his womanizer ways in an interesting way, and I appreciate it. I love when people complicate the pig! Also, the way he treats Xiaosheng (Destined One) like a nephew?? The scene on the Huaguoshan throne??? I'M GONNA CRY!!!

I think, I've run out of positive things to say.... time for the spicy takes.

I, kind of detest the premise by default. I'm not a big fan of "Superman is Dead" plots, cus it's usually either done for shock value, or taken so lightly that the weight is totally lost. I have such a love-hate situationship with the introduction cutscene because of this. On one hand, it's phenomenal cinema, and seeing Wukong stand up to the Heavenly armies in glorious 4K high fidelity graphics is delicious. On the other hand, the whole debate they are having has me going "?????", not because I don't get it but just, why?? Why did this have to be the premise?? (put another pin on that)

Also the set up and call to adventure is kind of blergh.

Now is as good a time as any to talk about the gameplay. It's, okay. If you enjoy trying to figure out the most stylish combos, or to mash buttons, then you'll definitely have fun. I was sorely disappointed that I pretty much have been going through the bosses rather easily. Chapter 1 it was mostly the struggle of learning the controls, but I never stuck to a boss for longer than seven tries (Whiteclad Noble, the snakeman that you are). Chapter 2 I only struggled on Tiger Vanguard, because I was sorely underleveled and had missed a pathway to explore before him. After that I second tried him. Chapter 3, I have and I'm not joking, gotten halfway through first or second trying every boss.

Mind you, this is not being some godtier gamer or whatever, I'm pretty average and only a recent player of soulslike games too (maybe playing Lies of P made too OP, but I sincerely doubt it lol). No, this is me saying that if you do explore the game and not rush through it, you won't struggle nearly as much as some people have and still are. Most of the final chapter bosses can be trivialized with the chapter's Obsession Realm gimmick artifact, which isn't in itself a bad thing, just feels like an odd choice personally.

Which leads me to, the level design. So far? Preeeeetty lame! It's very pretty and fancy, but so chockful of invisible walls that it feels stiffling and discourages exploration. I can never tell what is meant to be a path or just fancy scenery, and I never know when a jump will get walled or send me to my death by fall damage. When it's not being confusing, the level design is either a bunch of looping circles, or straight lines. And so far, besides a few interactables and loot, there is not much else to look at. That is, bad level design, plain and simple.

Also, the animations are glorious, but what is the point if I can't see the enemy?? That camera is my true nemesis, and I mean that. the fact that a boss can be beyond my field of vision at ANY POINT when I'm locked on and it strifes sideways, is dreadful. GameScience, FIX IT. It is also, very hard to tell what parts of a boss will damage me if I collide with them or not. The Kang-Jin Long fight was baffling on a design point of view, same for Captain Lotus-Vision. Some clearer hitboxes would be swell.

This is the point where I say my main issue with the game lies: it's very pretty, and adoringly crafted, but it lacks substance design wise. I feel like it needed to cook more, the level design polished more so I wouldn't get lost every five minutes, and clearer.... well, everything. Mechanic explanations, level progression, gimmicks, etc. It all needed to be less murky and convoluted to understand.

It also needed more meat in between bosses. I have yet to run into common enemies that give me actual trouble, so it ends up being just a jolly waltz from boss to boss. Boss rushes are fun and great, but not as the base game experience (for me at least). I had to stop one boss away from completing Chapter 1 cus I was just so exhausted. And I had been playing for like, an hour and a half?? That left a sour taste in my mouth, I'll be honest.

Okay, I'm gonna pick open those pins now.

#1 the Flaming Mountain Arc. I'm gonna be very real here chat, that was so cringe. What do you MEAN, Red Son wasn't Demon Bull King's biological son, and Princess Iron Fan was forced to drink from the Childbearing River??? And Red Son hates him????When I watched that cutscene, I had to pause and walk away for a moment, legitimately. This plotbeat is SO WILD to me, I got nothing to say. Just, why??Soooo bizarre. And that the Flaming Mountain Keeper has such a presence in Iron Fan's life is also, weird?? Not bad weird, just Weird, but that's like a nitpick more than an actual criticism. Ping Ping is fine though, I like that Bull has a daughter with Princess Fair Fox, that's cute and interesting. Wish she was in a better plot and adaptation but lol

And #2, the premise. Now we are getting to the meat of it all.

The underlying premise of the whole plot, including the true ending, is flawed by default. The premise runs on what is sometimes called as a "conspiracy theory plot", as in, "what if the gods were bad actually??". It's reddit movie theory content in very short terms, and while it had a place during the 00s grimdark years pre-Marvel, it's become quite a jaded and boring take nowadays. Now you may say that it comes from a genuine desire to show distrust and critique to insitutions and the powers than be, and I can see that.

There is a hiccup in that though.

In JTTW, Wukong is the Mind Monkey because of the religious text and subtext of the stories. Its interwoven in the whole thing, and makes it cohesive. It still offer critique and mockery to institutions, without entirely invalidating their foundations. Not only for genuine fear of prosecution, but because, shockingly, religion and belief is a major component of human society in general. But going back to my point, JTTW is *already* a critique of institutions and the power that be. Adding further layers into it feel like angst and edginess just for the sake of it, and that feels hollow to me.

To go further, this intent also clashes with their own plot. See, they bring up that Wukong's Mind, his Sixth Sense, died. Thus they need another Mind to guide his other senses and reform him, so that he may be reborn.

For one, that is such a convoluted way to do a reincarnation plot, it feels complicated just for novelty sake. Secondly, Wukong being the Mind Monkey, as I said, implies a tie to the underlying themes of the Journey as a person's path to enlightenment. If enlightenment itself is flawed because the gods are flawed/evil, then both themes are clashing. By making a "what if the gods were evil all along" plot while also going by the laws and order of said gods, then what are we even fighting against? What is the point of this whole rebellion between Erlang and Wukong??

my friend @ryin-silverfish said it best a while back, and I'm paraphrasing here (do pitch in or correct me if needed! <3), but the issue with these conspiracy narratives is the inherent anti-religion of them. They don't believe in anything, and thus they cannot properly retell the story of JTTW through a postmodern lense, because they refuse to engage with the religiosity that runs throughout the story.

It also leaves a sour taste in my mouth, because this game will likely be many people's first genuine experience with the JTTW mythos and story, and I tend to be concerned for how much this will "sour the pot" in the conversation. The novels are sadly innacessible enough as it is; the sheer size of them scare many people away, not even to mention the amount of underlying cultural context you'll miss out without proper footnotes and commentary. Most people will not engage with them directly, and certainly not most gamers.

While the narrative of someone embodying Wukong's spirit is not new in itself, I do find that it coexisting with such a poor premise and spin on it will be a sore first experience for new fans, and I can only hope that them meeting fans of the OG novels won't cause much friction in the fandom (we have enough as it is imo).

It also concerns me that, sadly, people and gamers in particular, get too swept up in the ooh-aah beauty of flashy sfx and highly detailed graphics, and fail to notice some of the underlying issues in game design. As I said, this game is a work of art, but it has flaws, and I don't think people are speaking of them enough. No, the issue is not "lack of diversity" or whatever the hell.

It runs deeper than that, and it's an issue I've come to see in recent movies as well. I'm aware it might just be different cultural expectations of the pacing and span of a story, and it may as well be! But I think if there was more care given to the bones of a media, it would bring much needed longevity and weight to these wonderful artworks.

All this said, I wanna see what acolades this game gets and see what the devs are cooking up with the DLCs (they said at one point the game was supposed to have 12 chapters and my god, that game would be TOO LONG. So glad it didn't get like that!), and further more see how this ripples in the eastern game dev scene. While this is a flawed game with a flawed story, it can be the first on a genuinely wonderful wave of new creations, not just by GameScience, and overall I'm hopeful for what might come next!

[cripplecharacters]

is it ok to have two main characters who share a disability but one views it with internalized ableism while the other doesn't? im writing two characters w chronic fatigue (one is a protagonist and the other is a villain) and wanted to have a little back and forth between them but i didnt know if itd be insensitive to have the villain view his cfs as a negative thing while the protagonist accepts it as something part of themself i do not have cfs myself

Hello!

In general, it's perfectly fine to have two (Or more!) characters with differing views on a shared disability. In fact, I think it's better than fine!

There's a very wide range of experiences and perspectives in the disabled community, which is something that I rarely see portrayed in fiction. Though, admittedly, I rarely see media with multiple disabled characters, let alone multiple characters with the same (Or even similar) disability.

That being said... there is something that makes me pause with this concept.

Why is the villain the one that thinks of his disability in a negative way? Why is the hero the one that "accepts it as something part of themself"?

Furthermore, what do you mean when you say that? You can accept something about yourself without viewing it as something necessarily positive. Likewise, you can view something positively while still not accepting it.

There's a sort of attitude that's commonly directed towards physically disabled people with the expectation that we need to be "positive" about our disabilities and "not let it stop us/hold us back/etc." A lot of people have good intentions but there's a few problems with this sentiment. Namely, it dismisses the complicated experiences and feelings that a lot of us have around our disabilities.

Although there are some differences between this concept and the "disabled villain" tropes, it still comes back to the main problem of it. In this case, it's less about equating disability with villainy and more about the attitude towards disability. Is it a bad thing to feel negatively about your disability?

Of course, this isn't to say that this is what is happening with your situation. It's just something to be aware of.

If you want to keep the current arrangement where the villain thinks of his disability more negatively and the protagonist is more accepting of it, there are a few things that should be considered.

Why is it the villain that thinks of it negatively?

Does the villain's way of seeing his disability have any impact on why he became a villain?

Why is the protagonist more accepting of their disability?

What will their 'back and forth' look like? What purpose is it serving in the overall story? Does it affect the characters or change the way they see their disabilities in any way?

I do think that this could be a very interesting concept to play around with, especially when it comes to looking at the factors that can make somebody into a villain and how those same factors can also affect how somebody sees themself and their disability.

Is the protagonist more accepting of their disability because they had the support and acceptance growing up that the villain didn't? Does the villain feel more negatively about their disability for the same reason that they became a villain in the first place?

This concept really has the potential to discuss some difficult topics and portray them in a really interesting way but you do need to be careful with this.

Make sure that you aren't equating your villain's view of their disability with their morality and it would be good to show that these things aren't black and white. Show the protagonist having days where they do feel negatively about their disability, focus more on the factors that have influenced each character's views rather than the views themselves, don't show the protagonist as being morally above the villain because of how they view their disability.

A lot of us do feel negatively about our disabilities and there's nothing wrong with that. It doesn't make us evil or bad or pessimistic -- it just makes us human.

In summary, just be careful with the implications that you've giving here and think about how your disabled audience might feel about this portrayal.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icarus

[agoodomenssideblogiguess]

What if Aziraphale wasn't on earth between 1941 and 1967?

What if, the same way Crowley was brought back to Hell in 1827 Aziraphale was recalled to Heaven in 1941?

Hear me out: Aziraphale has been making slow but steady progress within his character arc right? In 1941 at the end of the night, sharing drinks with Crowley in the bookshop, Aziraphale was willing to accept that things are not always black and white and sometimes there is room for shades of grey (albeit very light grey). Compare this to his thinking concerning Elspeth. Aziraphale kept flip flopping back and forth over whether Elspeth's actions were good or bad. He didn't seem to consider her actions were ethically complicated. In his mind they could either be good or bad depending on whatever information came to light in the moment.

It also seems that after the church, the magic trick, and the shades of grey discussion, Crowley and Aziraphale are back on good terms with one another. At the very least, talking and willing to spend time together again. Other than the mention of how easily accessible the holy water is in the church, Crowley doesn't seem to mention or allude to his request again. However, in 1967, it feels like their interactions are strained again. Aside from the awkwardness and tension in their conversation, it's also strange that Crowley is surprised to see Aziraphale in the Bentley (despite being PARKED IN FRONT OF THE BOOKSHOP) and that Aziraphale is only aware of what Crowley is up to through second-hand means “I work in Soho, I hear things." (You don't need to 'hear things' when Crowley is conducting those things IN FRONT OF THE BOOKSHOP)

So what happened? My theory: Aziraphale has been serving out a punishment in Heaven since 1941.

Fandom consensus seems to be that there is a 1941 pt. 3 coming next season and many are hoping for a kiss or something undeniably romantic (I am too ngl). But what if it's actually a scene where Aziraphale gets dragged back up to heaven?

Shax said that 80-90 years ago was the first time that she heard about Crowley and Aziraphale being an item. We can assume that this 80-90 years ago was during Furfur’s failed evidence presentation to Dagon and F(r)iends.

A lot of demons were hanging around in that scene. It wouldn’t surprise me if one of them (or Shax herself) got in touch with an angel in Heaven and let them know about the rumor downstairs of Crowley working with an angel on Earth.

Obviously, Heaven can’t allow that, and who else could it be other than Aziraphale? He’s the only angel down there, so they recall him. Without evidence though, and given that (1) it's a demon's word against an angel's; (2) less than a century and a half ago, Gabriel awarded Aziraphale a medal for his work on earth (bookstore opening cut scene); and (3) as far as we know, Aziraphale hasn’t had any major offenses other than frivolous use of miracles, I don’t think Heaven can really do much. That doesn’t mean they don’t do anything, I just don’t think they do anything like use hellfire on him or make him fall.

Despite the lack of evidence, Heaven still has to make an example out of Aziraphale for getting caught working with a demon. I think whatever punishment Heaven doles out, keeps Aziraphale up in Heaven for a long time.

(Small tangent: If it can be traced back to one event rather than a slow progression over millenia, this rumor is also probably what makes all the archangels be so cruel to Aziraphale (or at least finally gives them permission to act on what they’ve been wanting to do for ages). Maybe this is when they start looking into Aziraphale’s past endeavors and notice Crowley everywhere.)

It could be worse, if there had been evidence, it would have been worse. Still (Aziraphale might think), this is Heaven, 'the side of good', they wouldn't take it too far. He probably received a trial before his punishment began. And yeah the trial is more for show than anything else, but it's not like Hell would have bothered with any of that. Hell would probably delve right into whatever torture they'd decided for punishment. His time spent in Heaven, no matter how intense the punishment, would have been a breeze to tolerate compared to what Hell would do to Crowley. Speaking of which...

By the time Heaven lets Aziraphale back down to Earth, I think he would be a mess of mindless worry. He had just come to terms with his feelings for Crowley after all. Maybe this is why Aziraphale decides to give Crowley the holy water after all. He's had more than enough time in Heaven to realize that as much as he wants to protect Crowley and keep him safe, all that intent means nothing if he's stuck in Heaven because of his own carelessness. In Aziraphale's absence (or destruction), holy water could keep Crowley safe, at least from Hell, even if it is dangerous. Once Aziraphale is back on Earth, when he hears what Crowley was plotting, it probably further cements his decision to give it to him.

If Aziraphale got taken up to Heaven right after the magic show, he probably has no idea if his palming of the polaroid worked for sure. The bookshop is a safe place for Crowley to be away from Hell, but how long will that last? Is it still an embassy with Aziraphale up here in heaven? Is Crowley defenseless against the other demons down there? Did Hell come for Crowley after all even without evidence?

So how long is Aziraphale gone for? We already know that after Crowley got sent back to hell in 1827 and Aziraphale didn’t see him again for “a very long time.” The next meeting we, as an audience, see between them is the holy water request in 1862. So at worst, Crowley's been in Hell for ~30 years. Heaven probably would have taken Aziraphale back for a similar amount of time. And wow look at that, 26 years ago by between 1941 and 1967.

There’s enough ambiguity in the set and dialogue to allow for this length of absence as well. I already wrote a post about how ridiculous Aziraphale is for saying 'I work in Soho I hear things' in 1967 when the whole scene takes place outside the bookshop and how equally ridiculous Crowley is for seeming to think Aziraphale wouldn't notice him prancing around the block plotting to steal from a church. But maybe Crowley conducting his holy water heist business all over Aziraphale's corner of Soho is because as far as he knows Aziraphale isn't around anymore. In my post, I point out that the bookshop is blocked off by the "Striptease" and "Love Shop Cinema" signs but that you can tell it’s the bookshop because of its pillars.

I admitted that it was weird to cover up half the windows, but didn't really have any diegetic explanation for it. Maybe the explanation is that Aziraphale’s bookshop has been abandoned for years. In which case, I think Crowley might be hanging around Soho caring for it and the books, making sure it doesn't get vandalized, protecting it from snooping humans, etc. (tangent: this could also be why Aziraphale says that the bookshop is both of theirs. Maybe the "plenty of use" he said Crowley got out of it was while Aziraphale was away. Maybe Crowley used it as a pseudo base of operations.)

Aziraphale being gone would also explain why, suddenly, 105 years after his initial request, Crowley is plotting to steal holy water from a church. Aziraphale has been gone a long enough time that Crowley is starting to get antsy. Maybe he’s starting to think that Aziraphale is gone for good (not dead, he is an OPTIMIST DAMMIT). I think Crowley is spurred to start the holy water heist because he thinks Aziraphale isn’t going to be assigned to earth any more and whoever they're sending down next is going to be more of a smitey kind of angel. And if Aziraphale isn’t around anymore, then the demon-proof-except-for-Crowley-bookshop/embassy is also likely not going to stop any demons from getting to Crowley whenever they want. If Aziraphale is really not coming back, then Crowley is alone again, on his own side, for the first time since they saved Job's kids. He's gonna really need that insurance now more than ever and unfortunately, he has no one else to rely on. He’s gonna have to procure it himself, even if it’s dangerous and dumb.

Aziraphale's absence (as much as I am loathe to let go of the theory that Aziraphale and Crowley are just being incredibly dramatic idiots) can also explain some of the dialogue from the 1967 scene.

“What are you doing here?” might seem a silly thing to say when Crowley is parked outside of the bookshop, but makes sense if he's reacting to seeing Aziraphale for the first time in years, so damn close it can’t be a dream, right inside the Bentley.

“I work in Soho, I hear things,” is not just a way to give the audience exposition that Crowley wouldn’t need but a way for Aziraphale to explain why he’s there.

The barely concealed desperation in Crowley's voice when wanting to give Aziraphale a lift home (despite being LITERALLY OUTSIDE THE BOOKSHOP), or to take him anywhere he wants, makes a little more sense if he hasn’t seen him in years, wants to catch up, and doesn’t even know where Aziraphale would be staying if not the bookshop.

If this theory is true and Aziraphale has been absent between 1941 and 1967, it could explain why we don't see the bookshop in the 1967 scene even though everything else in the scene points to it taking place on that corner, it would give Aziraphale a reason for deciding to give Crowley the holy water after all even though hes been stubbornly opposed to it for more than a century, and it could also explain why even though he was making a lot of progress character wise to, it felt like he was regressing again.

[demonslayedher]

Just thinking about how Chachamaru is a male calico, at least according the Taisho Secret right before chapter 195 that calls him manly. It really doesn't surprise me that he's male, because so many references to calicos I've seen in manga, mascots, and temple architecture specify that the featured calico is male.

This is because they are rare, and therefore considered lucky.

The figure that gets thrown around the internet is that supposedly only 1 in every 3000 calicos is male. (I'll bet the people who did the often quoted study at U. of Minn. College of Vet Med would love to tell you how it's more complicated than that.) This has long made male calicos popular not only in Japan, but in other countries as well. The thing is, though, the male calico might not always be so lucky.

To be very brief about why calicos (and some other multicolored cats) are almost always female, this is because, put very simply, one X chromosome gives us the black splotches, and one X chromosome gives us the orange splotches. That might leave you wondering where the white patches come from, and this is the part where I say that genetics is never simple and you should have fun reading about it. The important takeaway here is that in order to show this color pattern, a cat needs two X chromosomes, one from its mother and one from its father.

Typically, a male cat has an X chromosome (from its female mother, who only has two X chromosomes) and a Y chromosome (from its father, who had both an X and a Y), but because the calico coating can only occur with two X chromosomes, this male cat somehow got an X, a Y, and... hmm, another X somewhere.

So not a typical XY male, not a typical XX calico... this sterile XXY male calico has an extra chromosome, and mutations often are not ideal for the health of the animal with the extra chromosome. This particular condition is Klinefelter’s Syndrome, which can lead to a male calico having cognitive and behavior issues, weaker bones, increased risk of diabetes due to higher body fat, and perhaps a shorter lifespan.

Now, none of the fictitious lucky cats I've seen have ever been portrayed as anything less than smart and pleasant, though a lot of the maneki-neko are pretty round. For everything Chachamaru is tasked with, I have to assume he's above-average when it comes to intelligence, reasonably healthy enough to handle long-distance travel, and for a cat, he's extremely, extremely cooperative. For the record, the same Taisho Secret (as well as Yushiro's statement in Chapter 194) makes it clear that for most of canon Chachamaru was a regular cat, for he was not made into a demon until right before the final showdown with Muzan. Even with her hands full making the medicine for Muzan, she still put a lot of effort into changing Chachamaru so that Yushiro wouldn't be lonely. It's ironic that Chachamaru winds up immortal, rather than doomed to a potentially shorter lifespan due to his mark...ings. In the first place, was Tamayo perhaps moved with pity for a sickly kitten and nursed him to the health he's in now?

Or did she always keep her eye out for a male calico, wanting to put some faith in them being good luck?

Also, what sticks out to me in this Taisho Secret is that Chachamaru, not having a language in which he could communicate with Tamayo, had no choice in becoming a demon. Tamayo felt sorry about that. The word bubble over manly little Chachamaru says, with bravado, "Fine by me, if that's what the woman I'm smitten with wishes." If Chachamaru truly is that smitten with her, that perhaps accounts for what an unusually cooperative cat he is. But it also reminds me of a fan theory that I saw once (and found worthy of weight) which said that perhaps Tamayo's blood technique has an effect like makes others smitten with her, and Yushiro might had been under its influence, however strongly or subtly. If such a thing were the case, it might or might not had been something Tamayo was conscious of. If she was conscious of having some effect like that, she probably felt awful about it but found it a necessary precaution to keep any demon she made under control. If she wasn't conscious of such a thing, that means she might had subconsciously developed it out of loneliness, and had been trying to keep company at her side.

[luci-is-a-bitch-x3x]

Obey Me! Diavolo & Barbatos with a Goth MC! : basically my thoughts on what their reactions would be, how they would handle having a goth partner, ext.

━☆*:･ﾟ✧✧ ♡ ❀ ♡ ✧━

Welcome! to another part of this adventure! The characters may not be how you imagine! I apologize for any poor jokes, bad spelling, and terrible grammar. Without further ado, please enjoy the content. ♡

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Goth MC! who does the make up, the white foundation the "crazy" eyeliner, the black/grey or dark color eyeshadow and blush. Classic black or red lipstick with matching nail polish on the Mc's fingers. The saggy looking hair that matches the make up, oh so well. Goth MC! Who has the unkept look, but at second glance you can tell their well kept. At least to some extent. The Mc has raggy, ripped looking outfit but upon closer inspection its clear the outfit is perfectly kept up with. Goth MC! Who has an over extent looking outfit, looking like rags on rags, and the Mc has a dead looking apperance appearing to have risen from the grave. Almost the perfect example of a goth baddie. How will they react?

Diavolo

When Goth Mc crashlands in the Devildom, Diavolo is Fascinated! He may not understand why their dressed Goth but he still thinks Goth Mc looks adorable! Diavolo would ask all kinds of questions. "Why do you choose to dress like that? Is it a human custom? Goth?? Whats that? Tell me everything!!" This is all assuming he doesn't already know what goth is lol. Diavolo is just an excited puppy eager to learn anything about humans. So please entertain him with Goth culture or just tell him dark stories. Maybe even talk about music and how complicated that can be. He'll be amazed! "There's a whole sub-culture for Goth? Thats wonderful! You must tell me all about it!!" With those puppy dog eyes and that grin of his, Goth Mc would have no choice but to talk nonestop about goth things until Diavolo's curiousity subsides. If it ever does.

Diavolo can listen to Goth Mc for hours. Even when Mc leave Diavolo will be thinking about what Mc had been telling him. Instead of doing his paperwork he would daydream or think of more questions related to Goth culture just so he could ask Goth Mc. Barbs and Luci are banging their heads against the wall, so much unfinished paperwork. Poor bbys.

Dating Diavolo is super supportive. Diavolo loves Goth Mc's look! Humans somewhat looked down on the Goth apperance? Diavolo will make a Devildom where its the complete opposite! He wants Mc to be happy and safe in Devildom. I mean honestly, whos going to say anything to Goth Mc when the Demon Prince is standing next to them anyways? A psychopath? "No harm or hate shall come to you when hes besides you, Mc!" Diavolo will happily parade Goth Mc around formal events, arms linked proudly showing the Devildom that he's with them.

Speaking of formal events, Diavolo expects Goth Mc to dress gothic when attending an event. "You should feel comfortable being you, Mc. The Devildom is a Safespace for you." Or he'll make it one. Diavolo will gladly provide Mc with formal gothic attire if Mc doesn't have/can't afford any. He just wants to see his cute little human all dolled up! It fills Mc's gothic desires so win, win situation.

Diavolo is the Demon Prince so he is going to give Mc amazing gifts, and he'll do it all the time. No occasion needed! Diavolo may give Mc some extravagant goth item. Or maybe he'll bring Mc along to the grand opening of something spooky like. Diavolo doesn't care what it is if Goth Mc wants it he'll give it to them. As long as its reasonable. Diavolo may one day be becoming king, but Goth Mc is his ruler.

Barbatos

Barbatos can see the future so like he probably saw Goth Mc coming before they actually arrived in the Devildom. But even if he didnt,the most of a reaction Mc would see is an intrigued eyebrow raise. Barbatos is very good at keeping his composure. Nobody can know his thoughts or see how hes feeling hy his reaction.

I feel like Barbatos would enjoy the goth aesthetic. Similar to what i said with Satan's reaction, Barbs enjoys that the goth look appears to be an artistic outlit. Barbs also makes clothes so i feel like he would appreciate the Goth attire in general. Taking inspiration from it at some points.

Dating with Barbatos is pleasant. Barbs isn't always free. Hes a busy man babysitting taking care of the Demon Prince. However Barbs always makes it up to Mc. It can be small acts or even small presents just subtle ways of trying to apologize for not always being free. Barbs knows Goth Mc's favorite everything, as a butler its his job to be observant and know everything about those he looks after. So Goth Mc can expect their favorites with him.

Barbs will gladly sit and have tea with Goth MC as they teach him of Goth culture or talk about something dark. Mc's telling him about this gruesome horror movie they watched recently? He's nodding along and sipping his tea with a fond smile. He'll occasionally ask a question or add something into the conversation. "The suspense is killing me, do tell me what happens next my dear." Said straight faced, but he really is intrested!

Barbs doesnt find Goth Mc's appearance or interests offputting. Everyones fond of their own things, and he finds Mc to be very unique. Barbs is a high respected demon with a lot of power. I doubt anyone would say anything bad to Mc with him around, but if they did he would handle it very professionally. He would give them a snarky passive aggressive remark. He cant do anything crazy without "shaming" Lord Diavolo so he just handles it calmly and professionally. The poor sap that said whatever to Mc was never seen again tho. Mystery what happened lol.

Barbatos defiently gives Goth MC amazing gifts. He has connections everywhere, if he sees something goth or something that makes him think of Mc, he'll get it for them. Mc will also recieve outfits he made for them, obviously it matches their goth aesthetic. Barbs maybe a busy man but he's always thinking of Mc. He gives them gifts all the time, small or large with no reason other than- "I saw it and I immediately thought of you, my dear. I may not be allowed to be with you always, but you're forever on my mind." Barbs is unbashful and will gladly spoil Goth Mc, with compliments or presents and any other ways he can. He just wants his little human to understand he cares.

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Thats all for now babes! Hope you enjoyed!! ♡ This is not proofread. Feel free to comment or reblog any thoughts or any add ons you have! Next up will be: Solomon, Simeon, & Luke(platonic) Stay tuned! Stay safe! & EAT YOU'RE VEGGIES! ‹𝟹

━☆*:･ﾟ✧✧ ♡ ❀ ♡ ✧━

⟡˙⋆Masterlist⋆˙⟡

[reneesghostinthelivingroom]

Reneé X agender!reader where reader is dating reneé but is friends with Chappell. Reader has BPD and is showing signs that Chappell is necoming their new FP and possible love interest. Eventually Reneé Reader and Chappell become a throuple 🐇

Both? Both.

|| Reneé Rapp x Chappell Roan x agender!reader

|| Warnings; reader has a tough conversation with Reneé, mentions of cheating, reader has bpd but it doesn't come up much, anxiety mentions, small make out scene

|| Summary; after Chappell leaves, reader and Reneé have a difficult talk about where their relationship stands.

Requests open!

Started; october 19th

Finished; october 19th

~~~

It's been about a year since you and Reneé started dating, at some point in the last month or so you've grown close with another singer. Chappell Roan. Who was basically your best friend at this point, if you don't include Reneé in that. At the moment, the three of you were all hanging out together at your's and Reneé's place. Just chilling on the couch and looking at your phones, sharing any funny memes or videos.

You had yourself propped up in a way that your back was rested in Chappell's lap and your legs stretched across Reneé's. Leaving you pretty comfortably placed between the two singers. Reneé was starting to notice how happy you seemed around Chappell, it reminded her of when the two of you were just friends. Leading her to wonder if you were starting to crush on Chappell. She knew you still loved her, but she could tell the other singer was quickly becoming your favourite person. Especially with how you seemed to favour her lap over hers. Reneé glanced down at her phone, taking a mental note to talk about it with you later.

It was pretty late by the time Chappell left, you'd really didn't want her to and practically begged her to stay. But she had an early interview and you knew she needed to rest up for it. Very reluctantly, you let her go. Reneé said her goodbyes to Chappell and when the door closed, she turned to you.

"Hey, can we talk for a moment?" She asked, you nodded though your anxiety definitely spiked a little. Talk usually was never used in a good sense and you didn't think you'd done anything wrong. What was this about? Reneé took your hand and lead you over to the couch, sitting down with you. With her hand in your hand." So... Chappell." She paused for a moment, trying to think of the words to say because she knew you weren't cheating or anything. She really didn't want it to sound like she was accusing you of anything.

"What about Chappell?" You asked, a little confused about what this was about. Did she think you were cheating? Was your crush on Chappell that obvious?

"Do you have a crush on her? It's okay to be honest, I'm not mad." Reneé added, really trying to get her point across that she wasn't upset with you. She just wanted to know the truth. Apparently your crush had been obvious.

What do you say? Do you tell her? If you do, would she end things with you? You really didn't want things to be over with. Getting to love Reneé has been one of the best parts of your life. But lately... Chappell has too. You wished emotions didn't have to be so complicated. That relationships weren't black and white; do you love me or not? You hadn't realized how long you'd been quiet, but Reneé had.

"You do." She sighed, fidgeting with her rings as her hands rested in her lap. Your silence told her what she needed to know. A frown tugged on the corner of her lips.

"Please don't take it personally." You pleaded, trying to explain yourself and the complex of your emotions." I love you. So so much. And I don't want us to be over." That's when you remembered something and you felt yourself relax just a little. Knowing that you could have both," can I ask something? Promise you'll keep an open mind?"

Reneé looked into your eyes, studying you. She saw the love you had for her and knew you were genuine, which did made her relax just a bit." Yeah.. yeah, I'm listening."

"Do you think- we could have an open relationship? You, me and Chappell?" You felt yourself tense again as the words left your mouth.

Reneé was quiet for a long moment, thinking it over in her head. On one hand, she wouldn't lose you. On the other, she'd have to share. She wasn't good at that. However she also couldn't say no to you and Chappell was good to you. Reneé knew she wouldn't hurt you. Maybe they could give it a try. Worth a shot, at least.

"We could give it a try.. if that's what you really want." When Reneé agreed, your smile widened and you kissed her deeply. Pulling her into her lap. She easily followed, kissing you right back. Your lips moved against hers as you gently pushed her down onto the couch, straddling her hips as your hand goes to her side. Giving a small squeeze to get a little moan out of Reneé.

The following day, you and Reneé had a chat with Chappell. Seeing where she stood on the idea of a poly relationship with them. She admitted to having a crush on you, but being too nervous to do anything about it. Given that you were already in a relationship and all. So she was pretty happy about this turn of events and agreed easily to it. That's how you'd started dating two famous music stars. Did you ever think your life would go this way? Nope. But yet here you were. Practically living out a fantasy.

[lady-shadow-and-darkness]

Why not leave?

I find it interesting how almost all the higher ups in the mafia don't really wish to be there, but despite having more than enough power and resources to leave, they don't.

Kouyou has been an executive since 15 (at least), and throughout those seven years I find it impossible to believe that she never thought about leaving. In fact, this is even addressed in this manga by Mori himself, to which she just responds with something lighthearted. Her earlier escape attempt was a fail, yes, but surely she understands that things are much different this time?

It is not her capability which is preventing her, but rather her mindset. And while this also ties into her responsibility, it is also important to note that she may very well believe that she can never truly be rid of the mafia and its teachings. It took an immense amount of reassurance for her to trust Kyouka in the hands of the agency, and even then, very reluctantly.

To Kouyou, I don't think that's a demonstration to her that she can leave, but rather a reminder of what she couldn't achieve in the past. And now, she most likely thinks that the mafia's influence on her is too deep to be shed off. She says as much herself to Kyouka, who has barely been in the mafia for 2 years at that point. Imagine what she thinks of herself. I do think that her duty to the mafia also makes her stay, she acknowledges that she's an important piece in their operations and jokes that it would fall apart without her. She has accepted her role in the mafia, and knows thinks it's too late to get out.

Mori, the leader himself, despite being...well, the leader, simply views his role in the mafia as necessary. He doesn't want to be the PM boss, his life in BEAST is clearly indicative of what he actually wants (you can't tell me an 'inherently evil person' ends up taking care of an orphanage in some universe), but he knows that he is the person best equipped to handle this role. His strategy of the "optimal solution", speaks to his neutrality and general capability of remaining apathetic towards necessary events which would most likely break someone else emotionally and mentally.

This isn't to say that he doesn't have any emotions, the man has a lot of them, it's just that he's incredibly adept at putting them aside and dealing with a situation completely unbiased. Fukuzawa acknowledges in canon that despite their great differences, a common motive that they share is the well-being of their city. In fact, Mori's making a HUGE sacrifice in his life just to maintain the workings of Yokohama. That's something you have to respect.

Chuuya is more of a complicated case. A lot of people in the fandom seem to disagree over whether he wants to stay or leave, but the answer is a bit more complex than the black and white ones we've been looking at. I'll be addressing this separately later, but for now, about Chuuya : I personally think that it is both, and he has conflicting feelings on this situation.

To start with, unlike Kouyou, we actually know when Chuuya came to be affiliated with the mafia. And that in itself isn't the most ideal set of circumstances, he had just been betrayed by his friends (who essentially raised him) because of a situation clearly orchestrated by the mafia (specifically Dazai, the one person he was coming to trust and resonate with), and more or less forced to be a new recruit. From stormbringer, we know that Chuuya's incentive for not leaving came from his need to protect his friends (who had already betrayed and backstabbed him at this point) from the mafia.

Any sane person would assume that Chuuya absolutely abhors the mafia at this point, but this isn't the case. Despite having his friends' lives hung over his head, he was still able to respect Mori and what he was working for (especially since he considered his own period of 'leadership' to be a failure). He was still able to care about the lives of his comrades and underlings who were also a part of the mafia (depicted in the dragon head incident). And he was still able to remain loyal to the mafia despite the several hardships and burns he faced for it.

Aside from his respect (and possible admiration) for Mori and the mafia itself, Chuuya's a person who's really attached to his relationships with people. He doesn't just respect the mafia, he also views it as his family. He has formed bonds with Kouyou, Mori, Dazai (shhh I don't want to hear anything), Akutagawa, Hirotsu...and even Gin, Tachihara and Higuchi. I mean, is there any known character in the mafia who this man doesn't know? He probably even knew Kyouka before she left. The only exception to this is Kyuusaku, and even that is because of his attachment to people (he's mad because Q, directly or indirectly, caused the death of his subordinates). He talks about burying his subordinates personally and contacting their families, if that isn't care, I don't know what is.

I think his arc with the mafia supporting him unanimously in stormbringer helped strengthen his attachment to it, which is why we've got the epilogue of him seeing his biological parents and declaring that the mafia is his true family in that LN. It's safe to say that he appreciates what he has right now a lot. But does that really mean he doesn't want to leave? In the very same light novel, it is ALSO implied that Chuuya longs for a life outside of the mafia. Hell, we literally have a character who was dedicated to bringing him to the light. And now, there is no risk associated with it either. But he chooses to stay. Or maybe the choice was never his.

With all of that said, I think it's incredible how BSD manages to portray what it's like for someone to lead a life of crime in the dark somewhat realistically in terms of feelings. It isn't some "badass mafia person" aesthetic (even though some people interpret it that way), it actually depicts the complexities that come with being associated with a criminal organisation in a fictional setting (to the best of its ability). Literally nobody in the mafia wants to be there, they just have to be. Sure, it offers them resources and opportunities which is why they choose to stay, but as an ability user, if they don't have the choice of living a normal life with the opportunities offered to an average person, do they really have a choice about being in the mafia at all?

[rigberts]

thinking about how insane the demon slayer art style and character design is. like, the the nose, mouth, and face shapes of everyone in the main cast are virtually identical regardless of gender, and yet every single character has a very distinct personality at first glance. And unlike other popular anime, it isn't their rainbow hair colors or painstakingly customized uniforms that help the audience tell them apart (though I do love their outfits).

It's almost entirely their eyes.

The best example of this is probably shinobu. Her eyes are enormous, round, and purple, things associated with femininity. However, they have no pupil or sclera and have a matte gradient effect. The gradient effect gives an appearance similar to an insect's compound eyes, giving a nod to her abilities and character aesthetic, but more importantly, the lack of reflected light makes her eyes look completely dead. This tells you everything you need to know about shinobu's character. She's beautiful and graceful in her appearance and mannerisms, but she's also lost the most important thing in her life, is capable of great cruelty towards her enemies, takes a sadistic delight in their pain, and her cheerful and benevolent persona is a facade. Basically, by just drawing a couple of carefully shaded circles, the artist lets you know that even if this character acts lively and upbeat, that fact that there is no light behind her eyes shows that it is false.

This is thrown into even greater contrast when a flashback is shown of kanae, shinobus late sister, who we know that shinobu seeks to imitate with her faux cheerfulness. Though their faces are identical, their eyes couldn't be more different. Where shinobus eyes are matte and reflect no light, kanaes are glossy and have three enormous highlights in each eye, making her look literally starry eyed, and that's reflected in her personality. Kanae is shown to kind, overly idealistic, and optimistic to the point of being airheaded: the exact opposite of shinobu, who is bitter, cunning, and capable of great cruelty.

Anyway demon slayer really makes the most of visual storytelling in even its smaller details.

Some other highlights in character design:

rengoku's constantly wide eyes with their rings of contrasting color that almost resemble an optical illusion perfectly convey everything about his most important character trait, his unrelenting intensity. Additionally, depending on context, his wide-eyed appearance can either be played for laughs or deeply unnerving, depending on whether his neverending enthusiasm is being directed towards complimenting tasty food or carving up his enemies with a smile.

Obanai has heterochromia identical to that of a cat, and let's be real, his personality is pretty cat-like. He's proud, disdainful, and judgemental of others, but he is also full of unconditional love for Mitsuri, even if he usually only shows it by quietly enjoying her company. Plus, it's also revealed that the reason obanai fell in love with mitsuri is because she is a genuine person who doesn't push his boundaries, giving him someone he can truly be comfortable around. Anyone who's interacted with a cranky stray cat before can tell you how familiar that sounds.

Nezuko has three separate sets of eyes throughout the series. As a human, her pupils are pink with complicated black shading and with a white highlight, once again hinting at her innocence. As a demon she usually has pink eyes with a circular highlight, but all the shading and therefore all the "depth" is gone. Since she doesn't remember that her family was killed and has somewhat regressed to a childlike state, nezuko still has her innocence (as shown by the highlight) but has lost her complexity that made her fully human. When she becomes enraged, her pupils become dark and slitted and her irises lose their reflective sheen, showing that not only is she monstrous, she has temporarily regained the capacity for anger and other dark emotions, and lost the ignorance/innocence that keeps her monstrous instincts at bay.

Muichiro has no memory of anything but the last three months of his life, and likewise, his eyes are foggy and dull

In the case of aoi, the square, blocky shape of her pupil implies a lot about her character: the fact that she's somewhat ordinary and a reliable, steady ally, even if she can be a little stiff.

I'm fairly certain that tanjirous red eyes were supposed to have narrative importance and signal that he is a descendant of yoriichi until it was decided at some point that yoriichi had no children and tanjirou was a descendant of a friend of yoriichi instead (either that or the reveal was planned from the beginning and the eye color was a red herring), but that's beside the point. Tanjirous eyes are red with dark shading, and do not have a highlight, though they do have a white pupil. This combination represents tanjirous emotional maturity, the combination of negativity and positivity. Unlike shinobu, who has no light in her eyes and is controlled by her resentment, and kanae, who has nothing but light in her eyes and was idealistic to the point of foolishness, tanjirou has both. Yes, he has suffered, he lost almost his entire family, even after he dedicated his entire self to caring for them after his father's death. However, tanjirou is still a fundamentally compassionate and hopeful person. No, Tanjirou is far from the first shonen protagonist who is kind and a genuinely good person (Luffy, Naruto, and Goku come to mind), he is one of the more emotionally intelligent ones. Tanjirou empathizes with the demons and recognizes the suffering that made them into monsters, but at the end of the day, he still kills them. There is no talk no jutsu, there is no transformation of enemies into allies, and there is no sparing of enemies out of respect for their fighting prowess. Though Tanjirou recognizes that demons are tragic and pitiful, he also knows that they are creatures that survive only on the slaughter of innocents. This isn't to say that stories about redemption or forgiveness or once-feared villains turning into the protagonists wacky neighbor are inherently bad, far from it. But for the story that demon slayer is, tanjirou is the perfect fit. And you can tell, just by looking in his eyes.