#things are different now and we're grown and not awkward kids (even though i feel like one all the time)

[reuptakeinhibitor]

.

[kitausuret]

10 for ScarletVision or 14 for HarryFlash pls :)

You love to indulge me, Brieuc. 💖

So, this actually turned out a lot longer than I originally anticipated, because I got carried away, but actually it's your fault because you know I've had HarryFlash brainrot for the past few months. However, this is also the first fic I've managed to bang out in almost three months, so I thank you for the prompt from this post that i reblogged way back in... January.

Title: Learn to Let it Show Words: 2078 Rating: General Audiences Relationships: Harry Osborn/Flash Thompson Fandom: Spider-Man (comicsverse), Venom (comics), Marvel 616 Flash doesn't want to take his sweater off.

Read on Archive of Our Own, or below the cut!

14. “You heard me. Take. It. Off.”

As far as first dates had gone (well, the first date they were calling a date), all had gone well. Flash had seemed his normal, charismatic self, if not a little awkward, but it was kind of endearing, and if Harry was being honest, made him less nervous. They were just trying this, after all. Just seeing where things went. Catching up, after too long apart, and seeing if there was any room for more in the midst of their busy lives. 

Flash did seem a little different now, though. Not in a bad way. Something had changed in him after his months overseas (which he was oddly dismissive of, but Harry wasn’t going to bug him about his work with the VA any more than Flash would bother him about Parker Industries), almost like he was more at ease with himself. Like he’d been carrying this big weight, but now it was lifted off his shoulders and he could finally breathe again. Harry knew a little something about that. 

He almost wanted to ask, but that could happen another time. After all, they were already planning to catch—

“—the Yankees game next Saturday, right?” 

"I've already texted Donna to make sure the day's open." Harry followed Flash into the apartment and put his jacket on a coat tree. “The kids like that you’re coming around more often, too. I think Normie enjoys your company. It’s…” He paused, trying to think of the right words. “Nice, having you around again. You were gone for a long time.” 

Flash scratched the back of his neck and lowered his eyes to the floor. “Yeah, I was. Sometimes you take opportunities life throws at you and then realize where you really belong is back home.” When he looked back up at Harry, though, he smiled. “I’m glad we’re giving this a shot, though, Har. I mean it.” Flash wheeled himself into the kitchen and called over his shoulder, "Do you have a minute before you have to go? I could make you… uh… coffee?"

"Flash, it's after eight."

"And?"

Harry laughed and shook his head. "You always were a night owl. I'll take some water, though; thanks. Besides, I already managed to tip a drink over on you at the restaurant; I'd hate to ruin your sweater any further." He took a seat at the breakfast bar and pulled out his phone. There had to be a decent cleaner nearby. "Speaking of which… give me your sweater. I can get it dry cleaned and just have their delivery service bring it back to you."

Flash fumbled a glass but managed to catch it in the nick of time. "Uh, what? Harry, it's—" He turned around and pulled the fabric of his sweater away from his torso a little. "It's fine, see? You can't even see anything. I'll just throw it in the wash with the rest of my laundry—"

"With your t-shirts? Flash, come on, it's a nice sweater. I feel bad, just let me do this."

"Harry, no. You even picked up the tab. It's okay, I promise."

"It's not a big deal, just give me the sweater."

Flash fiddled with one of the push handles on his chair. "I— I can't Harry, I've got this… Look, I don't want to take my sweater off right now."

"Oh?" He crossed his arms. "Yeah, and when we were roommates, you would wander around shirtless all the time. Sweater, off."

"We're not in our twenties anymore! We've, you know, changed and grown and… and…"

"Flash, why are you being so weird about this?" Harry's gut twisted a little. "Unless you, I don't know, just don't want to take it off in front of me."

"What?" Flash's eyes widened. "No, no, Harry, it's not that.” He busied himself with retrieving a pitcher from the fridge. “I’m just pretty attached to this sweater. I took it with me when I was out of town. I try to take good care of it.”

“All the more reason for me to get it cleaned properly for you.”

“It doesn’t need to be cleaned. It’s a special fabric.”

“Flash.”

“Harry.”

Flash grinned up at him and held out the water. Charming as hell. Disarming. It was crazy how much trouble he’d had getting dates when they were younger. 

Harry would have gone out with him in a heartbeat. And now, over ten years after they first met, he was.

So what was the problem?

Harry took the glass but let his long fingers linger over Flash’s for a moment. “This really isn’t like you, Flash. You’re going to make a man think he’s doing something wrong.”

“Come on, you know it’s not that. My life has just gotten a little complicated lately, that’s all.” 

“Are we still talking about the sweater?”

“Sort of?”

“Just take it off!”

“It’s not that easy—”

In a desperate bid to assert himself, he pushed his chin up and said, firmly but not unkindly, “You heard me, Flash. Take. It. Off.”

Flash stared at him for a long second with wide eyes. Harry’s façade cracked a little. 

“U-unless you don’t…”

“Did…” Flash stifled laughter behind his hand. “Did you just use your stern dad voice on me?” 

“Did it work?”

He rubbed his face. “I’m sorry, Har. I can’t take this off.”

“What’s so complicated about a sweater?! Do you have a rash? An embarrassing tattoo? Flash, whatever it is, I promise you, I can handle it. You and I have not been through—” He gestured vaguely in the air. “—everything we’ve been through for you to sit there and tell me that whatever is going on is too weird for me to handle. My father’s a supervillain. Spider-Man shows up at my work every day.” Harry sighed and leaned down to put his hands on Flash’s shoulders. He smiled as encouragingly as he could. “Just tell me. Okay? I’m not… a tough guy, like you, but you don’t need to protect me.”

Flash frowned. “No, you’re right. And I trust you. I just…” He reached up and touched Harry’s face, a bit tentative. “I don’t wanna keep secrets from you. But this is a lot.”

His stomach turned again. “A sweater is a lot?”

“You better sit down for this.”

“Wha… why?”

“Harry, it’s easier if I just show you.”

He swore the fabric of Flash’s sweater moved under his hands as he pulled away.

Okay. 

That happened.

Harry took a moment to close his eyes and take a few breaths. Whatever this was, it was fine, right? Flash was probably just involved in some… weird… military thing. Probably working with Stark Industries or something. Or test-driving a new type of secret fabric. Or maybe he really did have an embarrassing tattoo. But this was fine. 

He opened his eyes. 

You’re not going to panic. You know Flash. 

He went to the living room.

Flash was there for you when you first got out of inpatient care. He helped you muddle through those first few months. He was there when you first got together with Liz. 

He sat down on the couch.

He knows what it’s like to struggle. What it’s like to have your life turned upside down. Next to Pete and Liz, there isn’t hardly anyone you trust more than Flash Thompson.

Harry folded his hands in his lap and waited for Flash to join him. Flash was still in the kitchen, staring into space with his hands on his wheels. Finally, he pushed himself in and stopped right in front of Harry.

“A little while after you left for Seattle, I got pulled into something by the Army. I… I should’ve said no, I should’ve left that part of my life behind, but when you feel like it’s the only thing that’s ever been consistent in your life, it’s hard to do that.

“But even when the project was disbanded after a couple months, what I got out of it still changed my life.” His lips quirked into a smile. “I’m still me, Harry, but I’m also…”

Flash lifted his arm. His sweater literally quivered. Harry forced calm. He’d witnessed weirder things, right? He’d done weirder. (Maybe.) 

“It’s okay, pal. We can trust him.”

And then, Flash’s sweater dissolved into a mess of tendrils. Harry backed up into the couch cushions and clapped a hand over his mouth, but Flash leaned forward to take the other in both of his. Still, even as Flash’s warm and calloused hands sought to ground him, Harry couldn’t peel his gaze away from the large figure forming in the middle of the living room. 

It solidified into solid, deep black shapes, cut with white that formed a kind of spider on its chest. It had teeth and claws sharp enough to rend flesh, and bright white spots that looked like eyes. He already knew.

“Harry, this is my partner, V—”

“Venom,” Harry finished. “You’re— what? You’re Venom?” He wasn’t sure how to address this situation. “But— your sweater—?” Was now standing well over six feet tall and almost as broad and gazing placidly down at him. 

“We’ll explain everything to you, Harry. But, yeah, earlier this evening, you spilled your drink on… on the symbiote. On Venom.” 

A long pause filled the air. Then, “I’m so sorry I was going to dry-clean you.”

The being regarded him blankly at first — it didn’t have much in the way of emotive features. Flash had moved a hand to his (symbiote’s? alien’s?) partner’s massive arm while still keeping a hold on Harry. Tendrils linked the pair for a moment before Flash visibly relaxed. Then, the symbiote emitted a low, rumbling sound. Its eyespots curved slightly.

Was it… laughing?

Was he getting laughed at by Venom?

“You could not have known, Harold Lyman.” It knelt before him, its voice deep and gravelly, and Harry had to force himself to keep breathing. “We have met once before already.”

Harry stared. Okay, it could speak on its own. That hadn't been in his dad's briefing years ago. "You weren't with Flash."

"I was not," it affirmed, tilting its head in a way that reminded Harry of a very large cat. 

“But he is now,” Flash said. With no more than a look and a touch of Flash’s fingertips, the symbiote pulled away from Harry, dissolving into dozens of liquid arcs. This time, it looped around its host before disappearing beneath his skin. Harry didn’t miss the way Flash’s eyes closed, a languid, pleasant smile on his lips as it settled within. 

Terrifying, but mesmerizing. 

Flash lifted his shoulders like he hadn’t just revealed that his body was home to a space alien. “Are you, um, okay?”

“It’s…” A good question. “A lot.”

“Yeah, there’s not really a good way to tell someone that you’re a… package deal.”

They sat there in silence, Flash staring at his lap and Harry up at the ceiling. So, one of his oldest friends was Venom. That complicated things. But… his ex-brother-in-law was Molten Man. His father had been the Green Goblin. Hell, Harry himself had been the Goblin, more than once. And Flash seemed okay, didn’t he? Just the same old guy, a little worn down by the years, but weren’t they all? Hadn’t they all changed? Weren’t they all just trying to figure out this crazy thing called life?

What did they all have to try and get through it, but each other?

Flash cleared his throat before Harry could try to think of something more to say. “Well, I don’t wanna keep you away from the kiddos too much longer, so you better…”

“I can stay a little longer.” Harry leaned forward to take Flash’s hand. “Just let me text the sitter—”

Flash reached his other arm out towards the kitchen. A black webline shot out and snagged Harry’s phone, and snapped it back into Flash’s hand. He shrugged. “Kinda handy.” 

“You don’t say.” 

A quick text about needing another hour later, Harry patted the seat next to him on the couch. Once Flash had transferred himself to Harry’s side, Harry turned and propped his chin up in his hand. 

“So, aside from making sweaters and getting the remote… what else is Venom all about?”

Flash grinned the widest he had all evening. 

This certainly had shaped up to be the most interesting date Harry had had in a long time. 

He found himself looking forward to the next one.

[the-meest-me-ill-ever-be]

We've known each other for a short time. Truth is, we've been exchanging glances for a while now, though I didn't notice when it started. We seem like two children - when one looks, the other looks away, and sometimes a shy blush appears on our faces. We've only worked together a few times, but we've grown comfortable enough to start talking.

"Hello! /Good afternoon!/ How are you?" We're always interested in each other. But today… it was different.

"Hello!" I exclaimed. "I heard you got a big case?"

His position on the desk was odd. He was sprawled across it, arms crossed, as if he was melting, becoming one with the furniture.

"Yes," he replied in a weak voice. "I have to leave for Europe in a week."

"Uh-huh?"

My gaze moved to the side. It was a strange pain to know that he would be far from here… Not because I like him… or at least… that's what I thought…

"Don't worry about me," he exclaimed as he sat up straight in his chair. "I'll be fine, and I'll be back very soon… You'll see…"

"Oh… okay… we'll miss you…"

He smiled broadly, his white and perfect teeth and his brown hair shining in front of my eyes. I could say he almost looked like a model… I noticed the flush in his cheeks, and my own face began to heat.

"Will you miss me?" he asked, surprised.

I felt a rush of stupidity, not knowing how to answer that question.

"Yes… after all… I've become used to seeing you when I come to the Bureau, Mr. Kennedy…" I answered without thinking, almost automatically. I think all the awkwardness in the world came down on me then. He just genuinely laughed.

"Okay! That's good to know" he murmured.

"Oh!"

It was the best I could do in terms of modulation. I was embarrassed to admit something so directly. I know I can be a little awkward on a personal basis, but he is an excellent professional. He survived a zombie apocalypse in Racoon City and I'm just a rookie… At that second, I just wanted to be swallowed by the ground. He looked at his watch.

"Well… I have some errands to run regarding my upcoming job… See you tomorrow!"

"Huh…"

I mumbled. The rest of my day was complete crap. They only have me for errands… like the good rookie that I am… but when I got to my locker in the afternoon, magic happened. It was a simple folded sheet of paper.

"You've got to be kidding…it's like high school all over again…" I unfolded it with the intention of recognizing the handwriting. I wasn't expecting more than a single sentence, like "stupid" or "trash" or even something stupid for tying to make me quit… But to my surprise…

"Hi… I hope this doesn't make me seem like a total loser… but… I have the feeling that you look at me as much as I look at you… Doesn't it seem like we're being a little silly? But… the moment you admitted that you actually like to see me, I had the urge to go crazy and start a friendship with you...

Well… however, we should let things flow… because… I know exactly what I feel about you Are you clear on that too?

If you want to date, call me"

He left his number at the bottom of the page…but my eyes were only fixed on his signature:

Leon S. Kennedy

Omggg I love this🥺♥️♥️😭

[soundsfaebutokay]

So I've recc'd this video before, but it deserves its own post because it's one of my favorite things on youtube. It's a Tedx Talk by comics writer, editor, and journalist Jay Edidin, and I really think that it will connect with a lot of people here.

If you live and breathe stories of all kinds, you might like this.

If you care about media representation, you might like this.

If you're neurodivergent, you might like this.

If you're interested in a gender transition story that veers from the norm, you might like this.

If you love the original Leverage and especially Parker, and understand how important it is that a character like her exists, you will definitely like this.

Transcript below the cut:

You Are Here: The Cartography of Stories

by Jay Edidin

I am autistic. And what this means in practice is that there are some things that are easier for me than they are for most people, and a great many things that are somewhat harder, and these affect my life in more or less overt ways. As it goes, I'm pretty lucky. I've been able to build a career around special interests and granular obsession. My main gig at the moment is explaining superhero comics continuity and publishing history for which work I am somehow paid in actual legal currency—which is both a triumph of the frivolous in an era of the frantically pragmatic, and a job that's really singularly suited to my strengths and also to my idiosyncrasies.

I like comics. I like stories in general, because they make sense to me in ways that the rest of the world and my own mind often don't. Self-knowledge is not an intuitive thing for me. What sense of self I have, I've built gradually and laboriously and mostly through long-term pattern recognition. For decades, I didn't even really have a self-image. If you'd asked me to draw myself, I would eventually have given you a pair of glasses and maybe a very messy scribble of hair, and that would've been about it. But what I do know—backwards, forwards, and in pretty much every way that matters—are stories. I know how they work. I understand their language, their complex inner clockwork, and I can use those things to extrapolate a sort of external compass that picks up where my internal one falls short. Stories—their forms, their structure, the sense of order inherent to them—give me the means to navigate what otherwise, at least for me, would be an impassable storm of unparsable data. Or stories are a periscope, angled to access the parts of myself I can't intuitively see. Or stories are a series of mirrors by which I can assemble a composite sketch of an identity I rarely recognize whole...which is how I worked out that I was transgender, in my early thirties, by way of a television show.

This is my story. And it's about narrative cartography, and representation, and why those things matter. It's about autism and it's about gender and it's about how they intersect. And it's about the kinds of people we know how to see, and the kinds of people we don't. It's not the kind of story that gets told a lot, you might hear a lot, because the narrative around gender transition and dysphoria in our culture is really, really prescriptive. It's basically the story of the kid who has known for their whole life that they're this and not that, and that story demands the kind of intuitive self-knowledge that I can't really do, and a kind of relationship to gender that I don't really have—which is part of why it took me so long to figure my own stuff out.

So, to what extent this story, my story has a beginning, it begins early in 2014 when I published an essay titled, "I See Your Value Now: Asperger's and the Art of Allegory." And it explored, among other things, the ways that I use narrative and narrative structures to navigate real life. And it got picked up in a number of fairly prominent places that got linked, and I casually followed the ensuing discussion. And I was surprised to discover that readers were fairly consistently assuming I was a man. Now, that in itself wasn't a new experience for me, even though at the time I was writing under a very unambiguously female byline. It had happened in the letter columns of comics I'd edited. It had happened when a parody Twitter account I'd created went viral. When I was on staff at Wired, I budgeted for fancy scotch by putting a dollar in a box every time a reader responded in a way that made it clear they were assuming I was a man in response to an article where my name was clearly visible, and then I had to stop doing that because it happened so often I couldn't afford to keep it up. But in all of those cases, the context, you know, the reasons were pretty obvious. The fields I'd worked in, the beats I covered, they were places where women had had to fight disproportionally hard for visibility and recognition. We live in a culture that assumes a male default, so given a neutral voice and a character limit, most readers will assume a male author.

But this was different, because this wasn't just a book I'd edited, it wasn't a story I'd reported—it was me, it was my story. And it made me uncomfortable, got under my skin in ways that the other stuff really hadn't. And so I did what I do when that happens, and I tried to sort of reverse-engineer it to look at the conclusions and peel them back to see the narratives behind them and the stories that made them tick. And I started this, I started this by going back to the text of the essay, and you know, examining it every way I could think of: looking at craft, looking at content. And in doing so, I was surprised to realize that while I had written about a number of characters with whom I identified closely, that every single one of those characters I'd written about was male. And that surprised me even more than the responses to the essay had, because I've spent my career writing and talking and thinking about gender and representation in popular media. In 2014, I'd been the feminist gadfly of an editorial department and multiple mastheads. I'd been a founding board member of an organization that existed to advocate for more and better representation of women and girls in comics characters and creators. And most of my favorite characters, the ones I'd actively seek out and follow, were women. Just not, apparently, the characters I saw myself in.

Now I still didn't realize it was me at this point. Remember: self-knowledge, not very intuitive for me. And while I had spent a lot of time thinking about gender, I'd never really bothered to think much about my own. I knew academically that the way other people read and interpreted my gender affected and had influenced a lifetime of social and professional interactions, and that those in turn had informed the person I'd grown up into during that time. But I really believed, like I just sort of had in the back of my head, that if you peeled away all of that social conditioning, you'd basically end up with what I got when I tried to draw a self-portrait. So: a pair of glasses, messy scribble of hair, and in this case, maybe also some very strong opinions about the X-Men. I mean, I knew something was off. I'd always known something was off, that my relationship to gender was messy and uncomfortable, but gender itself struck me as messy and uncomfortable, and it had never been a large enough part of how I defined myself to really feel like something that merited further study, and I had deadlines, and...so it was always on the back burner. So, I looked, I looked at what I had, at this improbable group of exclusively male characters. And I looked and I figured that if this wasn't me, then it had to be a result of the stories I had access to, to choose from, and the entertainment landscape I was looking at. And the funny thing is, I wasn't wrong, exactly. I just wasn't right either.

See, the characters I'd written about had one other significant trait in common aside from their gender, which is that they were all more or less explicitly, more or less heavily coded as autistic. And I thought, "Ah, yes. This explains it. This is under representation in fiction echoing under representation in life and vice versa." Because the characteristics that I'd honed in on, that I particularly identified with in these guys, were things like emotional unavailability and social awkwardness and granular obsession, and all of those are characteristics that are seen as unsympathetic and therefore unmarketable in female characters. Which is also why readers were assuming that I was a man.

Because, you see, here's the thing. I'm not the only one who uses stories to navigate the world. I'm just a little more deliberate about it. For humans, stories formed the bridge between data and understanding. They're where we look when we need to contextualize something new, or to recognize something we're pretty sure we've seen before. They're how we identify ourselves; they're how we locate ourselves and each other in the larger world. There were no fictional women like me; there weren't representations of women like me in media, and so readers were primed not to recognize women like me in real life either.

Now by this point, I had started writing a follow-up essay, and this one was also about autism and narratives, but specifically focused on how they intersected with gender and representation in media. And in context of this essay, I went about looking to see if I could find even one female character who had that cluster of traits I'd been looking for, and I was asking around in autistic communities. And I got a few more or less useful one-off suggestions, and some really, really splendid arguments about semantics and standards, and um...then I got one answer over and over and over in community after community after community. "Leverage," people told me. "You have to watch Leverage."

So I watched Leverage. Leverage is five seasons of ensemble heist drama. It's about a team of very skilled con artists who take down corrupt and powerful plutocrats and the like, and it's a lot of fun, and it's very clever, and it's clever enough that it doesn't really matter that it's pretty formulaic, and I enjoyed it a lot. But what's most important, what Leverage has is Parker.

Parker is a master thief, and she is the best of the best of the best in ways that all of Leverage's characters are the best of the best. And superficially, she looks like the kind of woman you see on TV. So she's young, and she's slender, and she's blonde, and she's attractive but in a sort of approachable way. And all of that familiarity is brilliant misdirection, because the thing is, there are no other women like Parker on TV. Because Parker—even if it's never explicitly stated in the show—Parker is coded incredibly clearly as autistic. Parker is socially awkward. Her speech tends to have limited inflection; what inflection it does have is repetitive and sounds rehearsed a lot of the time. She's not emotionally literate; she struggles with it, and the social skills she develops over the series, she learns by rote, like they're just another grift. When she's not scaling skyscrapers or cartwheeling through laser grids, she wears her body like an ill-fitting suit. Parker moves like me. And Parker, Parker was a revelation—she was a revolution unto herself. In a media landscape where unempathetic women usually exist to either be punished or "loved whole," Parker got to play the crabby savant. And she wasn't emotionally intuitive but it was never ever played as the product of abuse or trauma even though she had survived both of those—it was just part of her, as much as were her hands or her eyes. And she had a genuine character arc. My god, she had a genuine romantic arc, even. And none of that required her to turn into anything other than what she was. And in Parker I recognized a thousand tics and details of my life and my personality...but. I didn't recognize myself.

Why? What difference was there in Parker, you know, between Parker and the other characters I'd written about? Those characters, they'd spanned ethnicities and backgrounds and different media and appearances and the only other characteristic they all had in common was their gender. So that was where I started to look next, and I thought, "Well, okay, maybe, maybe it's masculinity. Maybe if Parker were less feminine, she'd click with me the way those other characters had." So then I tried to imagine a Parker with short hair, who's explicitly butch, and...nothing. So okay, I extended it in what seems like the only logical direction to extend it. I said, "Well, if it's not masculinity, what if it's actual maleness? What if Parker were a man?" Ah. Yeah.

In the end, everything changed, and nothing changed, which is often the way that it goes for me. Add a landmark, no matter how slight, and the map is irrevocably altered. Add a landmark, and paths that were invisible before open wide. Add a landmark, and you may not have moved, but suddenly you know where you are and where you can go.

I wasn't going to tell this story when I started planning this talk. I was gonna tell a similar story, it was about stories, like this is, about narratives and the ways that they influence our culture and vice versa. And it centered around a group of women at NASA who had basically rewritten the narrative around space exploration, and it was a lot more fun, and I still think it was more interesting. But it's also a story you can probably work out for yourselves. In fact it's a story some of you probably have, if you follow that kind of thing, which you probably do given that you're here. And this is a story, my story is not a story that I like to tell. It's not a fun story to talk about because it's very personal and I am a very private person. And it's not universal. And it's not always relatable, and it's definitely not aspirational. And it's not the kind of story that you tend to encounter unless you're already part of it...which is why I'm telling it now. Because the thing is, I'm not the only person who uses stories to parse the world and navigate it. I'm just a little more deliberate. Because I'm tired of having to rely on composite sketches.

Open your maps. Add a landmark. Reroute accordingly.

[nexyra]

RWBY's Love Language - Part 2

Hello friend ! I'm back at it with a second part and whatever character I can think of ! (Among which best boy Oscar because he deserves it, and also more adults)

Let's go !

***

Oscar Pine

So ! While I love Oscar with my whole heart, honestly guessing his Love Language is no easy feat. One thing for sure : touch isn't is thing even if it's how everyone else chose to communicate their love.

I saw a post a while back detailing how Oscar is always putting his hands up as a barrier when he's scared or uncomfortable and that makes me cry a little instead but it's true TT. Anyway...

In the latest volumes we've got quite a bit of comforting Oscar-talks but I have to wonder how much of that is due to Ozpin's influence really. As a result I've decided to settle on... Acts of Service or Quality Time ! This is based on a few details : when people are upset with him in one shape or form, Oscar was always very eager to prove himself useful, give some aspect of concrete help (such as cooking a Casserole, ringing any bell ?). Plus I imagine that's the exact brand of help his Aunt would have needed most on a farm. Added to that, he always seems fairly happy to be included, be with the others no matter what's going on. Training ? Yay ! A movie with Jaune & Weiss ? Smiling puppy look. Fancy party ? Shenanigans together ! So yea, I love seeing my boy loved and hugged but please everyone settle for the loving he's most comfortable with <3

“She made a choice! A choice to put others before herself! So do I.”

“Oh, uh, yeah. I thought you guys would appreciate a hot meal after... spending all day looking for me, apparently.”

“No, it's okay. These past few days, I've been scared of the same things you were. I don't know how much longer I'm going to be... me. But I did some thinking, and I do know that I want to do everything I can to help with whatever time I have left.”

- - - - - - - - - -

Ozpin

For our favorite immortal wizard aka not quite dead Headmaster... I think the answer is rather obvious. When you're so careful with your words, but also so fiercely devoted to humanity, Words of Affirmation is a must. Ozpin constantly does his best to calm, to reassure. He's good at controlling the conversation and getting people where he wants... Except he more often than not use it to make them think and help them reach an healing ore motivating conclusion. This man is so insisten on giving and cultivating hope, so painfully aware of just how much words can change... There's no doubt in my mind that it's through these very same words that he tries to fight the darkness in others' mind, even when they don't want to let themselves be persuaded. And with some help from the farmboi, Ozpin is gaining in honesty and earnestness. And that can only help in giving comfort.

But to be honest... If you offer him a hug I doubt he'd refuse, and he definitely deserves one. Also therapy. For Oscar too. Everyone in therapy 2k21.

“Ruby. I've made more mistakes than any man, woman, and child on this planet. But at this moment I would not consider your appointment to leader to be one of them. Do you?”

“It's not every day that friends are able to come together like this. Time has a way of testing our bonds, but it's nights like these that can help keep them stronger than ever. Nights like these are ones we'll never forget.”

“Don't worry, Mr. Arc. Your journey is far from over, and the same might be said for all of you. Unlocking your Semblance isn't the end. It can still grow and evolve. Providing you are willing to put in the work, who knows what could happen?”

- - - - - - - - - -

Emerald Sustrai

Now here I'm gonna go ahead and say that the way Emerald has been taught to express her love and the way SHE would rather preffered to be loved most likely do not align. At the side of someone like Cinder, and even Mercury who isn't exactly the most emotionally vulnerable person; the only brand of love that gets an easy pass is Acts of Service, and that's probably what Emerald is the most used to. I can go on a mission with you. I can help. We go right back to the "I can be useful" mentality and I'm not sure she's been shown any other way honestly. Let's be real though : if someone offered a hug or some gentle words ? She'd probably pout & fuss but I hardly doubt she'd object.

“I don't care about Salem! But I owe Cinder everything. You want to fight her that bad? Be my guest.”

“I just... Cinder was the only family I ever had. She cared about me, taught me things... But without her here, I don't know if what we're doing--”

“I've been working on my Semblance. I can help. I won't tell anybody.”

- - - - - - - - - -

Pyrrha Nikos

What's with everyone and dedicating their whole love toward just helping their teammates anyway they can ?! Stop ! But any way, you guessed it. I'm pretty sure one of Pyrrha's top way of showing love is Acts of Service, and nothing means quite as much to her as Quality Time. For someone who's been put on a pedestal and has a hard time relating to people; both touch and words can be a bit awkward. But if they're wrapped up neatly in a training session or semblance explanations ? Well that's already a more familiar area. Pyrrha gives her whole to her friends and those she cares about. And in exchange, if anyone can simply... be there and spend time with her... May it be at the ball or simply sitting in the courtyard... I'm sure our girl would be delighted.

“Jaune, you know if you ever need help, you can just ask.”

“I'm constantly surrounded by love and praise; but when you're placed on a pedestal like that for so long, you become separated from the people that put you there in the first place. But thanks to you, I've made friendships that will last a lifetime.”

“I'll do it. If you believe this will help humanity, then I will become your Fall Maiden.”

- - - - - - - - - -

Qrow Branwen

If I say Gift Giving for the corvid, is someone gonna hit me ? Come on it's fun ! Okay, more seriously... I think this kind of love conversation is kind of a necessity for Qrow. With a semblance such as Bad Luck, making everything complicated... Qrow tries to keep his distance from those he cares about. And since he's an emotionally repressed (but caring) asshole on top of it... Well that kinda narrows down his option. You know what DOESN'T put anyone at risk but can still bring smiles on their face ? GIFTS. Shiny things, souvenirs from his missions all over the world to give to 2 smol nieces. Sounds safe right ? That said, as any good emotionally unavailable character in this show, I gotta say Qrow probably has a thing for helping out and making himself useful in relation to Oz, Tai or the rest of the inner circle. So you know what that means *whisper* Acts of Service.

That said ! When it comes to receiving some love back... Qrow probably likes everything he doesn't allow himself to have. Soft touches, loving & comforting words, spending time with a friend without his semblance making everything complicated... We know that's all he wants.

“You idiot. I know you didn't do this.”

“Look, pal, I'm not sure who you are, but you need to leave my niece alone.”

“No one wanted me... I was cursed... I gave my life to you because you gave me a place in this world... I thought I was finally doing some good...”

- - - - - - - - - -

Clover Ebi

And among our newbies (and gone too soon) friends we have Clover ! Clover was a very good contrast to our dusty old crow but also a great help. Kind-hearted, perceptive and honest; he knew just how to put Qrow's self-loathing in his place and push him to give himself some credit. He always had a nice word or a joke for everyone, and visibly the rock of the Ace Ops : an expert a keeping the moral up and the mood companiable. Evidently, Words of Affirmation was his expertise. Had things gone differently, I'm sure we'd have had time for many more earnest and helpful conversations with this teal-eyed fisherman.

“It's a good thing they had someone to look up to and get them through it. Not everyone is so lucky.”

“I meant deflect a compliment. Those kids wouldn't be where they are without you. You've had more of an effect on them than you realize.”

“We don't have to fight, friend.”

- - - - - - - - - -

Winter Schnee

And today in the "emotionally unavailable" category we have... Winter Schnee ! TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS PEOPLE ! Just - I would say look at Ruby but even she doesn't talk about her bad vibes... Nor does any of the "Words of Affirmation" peeps. Honestly what's wrong with y'all people ? Anyway Winter cares so much. Is it hidden behind professionalism and a stern *big sister* demeanour ? Sure. But it doesn't negate just how much she loves her closed ones. She's fiercely loyal, and even if she doesn't let her personal feelings get in the way of her duty and doing what needs to be done, no one is allowed to say she doesn't care. Countrary to Weiss, Winter doesn't seem as good nor as aware of the love that exists in simply *being* with people. Rather, she's dutiful and ready to help any way she can when given the chance. You guessed it, yet another Acts of Service kind of love... Maybe I'm doing this wrong XD. I'm on the fence about Words of Affirmation as well. Despite her standoffish looks, Winter has always been very open & reassuring during her discussions with Penny. But she's more stern when it comes to Weiss so I dunno x)

“I don't recall asking about your ranking, I'm asking how you've been. Are you eating properly? Have you taken up any hobbies? Are you making new friends?”

“You've grown up a bit, haven't you? You're not the little girl clinging to the family name anymore.”

“You can't just buy trust like everything else! You have to earn it!”

And that's it for Part 2 ! I might do some other characters if people suggest some but I don't have a pressing need to right now. I have many ideas of songs to apply to various characters however so that's prob what my next posts will consist of (or fun templates)

If anyone has tips to create RWBY gifs or links to download the eps in good quality I'll take it ! Good day everyone !

[violetsystems]

#personal

So before I go bludgeoning you all with full sentences, I'd like to wish you all the happiest of holidays. In true Promethean spirit, I do think recognizing these days are somewhat important for the time passing. This is especially so if you live in a city like Chicago with strong, pronounced seasons. I'm probably less moody than I have been in the past but it can be a grind emotionally. I woke up yesterday and applied for a job on Christmas Eve. I like to keep my dad in the loop about the process. He seemed really positive when I applied for L'Oreal and Chanel even though those were flat out rejections. Just like most of everyone on the internet, he is highly skeptical of crypto. He emailed back with a bunch of light hearted puns about bitcoin but you could tell he thought it was bullshit. I read it as negative in his own jovial way. He's an easier person to read than my mom. I'm sure if I applied to work in the weed industry it would be a worse reaction. It does seem like they need somebody to stabilize their network. But I don't even bother going down that road. I never did get paid for that technical writing gig about alcohol abuse. I never did tell him that fell through. It's hard to tell anybody anything in my life anymore other than writing here. So in some ways, I don't really look back. If you spend Christmas alone two consecutive years sans phone calls from immediate family, I'm giving you the hall pass to ditch most of your old life behind. I've been focused on managing the money I have while wondering what the fuck actually happens next. Boxed into a small, but cozy apartment that acts like a fishbowl for the whole neighborhood. I venture out to try food from the Chinese restaurants in the neighborhood that randomly mail me menus from time to time. A lot of the kids from the neighborhood have grown up and replaced the fake hipster cool of the millennium with their own territories. It reminds me a lot more of New York than California. We were always in between the coasts and overlooked. Nobody can afford either coast except the rich children of the generationally wealthy. Everybody else ends up here after while. Everybody who left Chicago to be cool has left New York by now and settled down in some cheaper quarters. The epicenter for culture for me has been shopping at Costco with a granny cart near the train yards. Ten years ago people were trying to drag me back into the club to "be seen." Now with the internet and COVID, everybody can connect with anybody. Sometimes you can have more complete and intimate relationships with someone on the internet you share content with. More so than awkward people in real life. So much so that people in real life start trying to act just like your dearest friends on the internet. Think that's your thing to be covertly toyed with in public instead of understanding what we're going through behind the scenes.

People assume a lot of shit here in America. Everybody needs to know but doesn't pay attention to the small details. I've always been complimented on my attention to detail but it's hardly ever respected. It is exhausting to have to drill down into everyone's subconscious you meet like you are Jean Grey. Paying that close attention to your significant other or a close family member is a different story. But for the most part out here I've been alone. I should wear a shirt. "Ask me if I care?" Most of the time it is a combination of yes and no. I'd care more if society gave back the amount of effort I put in. And sometimes it does. It is a hard thing to map. What in my life has been going forward and what is stuck behind a brick wall of trash, hurt feelings and utopian ignorance. My most intimate and most private relationships with people on the internet are a beautiful, complicated thing. I don't question it. I don't pry. And I definitely don't know anything about anything in my life other than I keep waking up like Groundhog Day to the same consistencies. There isn't much room left for me to wonder. So I start downsizing the things I care about just like the clutter in my apartment. I move forward in this narrow space of fog. This last year nobody has really offered any advice. No one told me how to live or helped me understand the laws, methods or strategies to cope with absolute abandonment. And I figured out my own path forward. The freedom of it is something that is just how I grow. I can't really look back at a time here anymore that I've outgrown. And there are things that have grown around me. The cameras set up outside my apartment reveal a mundane, quiet world of animals and neighbors in their own routine around me. I pay my bills on time. I have no debt to speak of. I have talents that go unnoticed. Entire bodies of work that sit on a digital shelf nobody buys. People who say they know me but only in whispers behind my back. The only human interaction I have is when I order food. It's been the only time I've heard my name spoken out loud. It's a horrible thought. To be acknowledged only to realize that you have been purposefully treated by others as invisible. There's two sides to that coin. I stay under the radar because I don't like to cause problems. And there are so many problems in my life that are the result of other people's lack of attention to detail that I have to go deeper. And you find yourself alone in your apartment, absentmindedly applying for jobs you feel deep down inside will do the same. Like it's some joke I'm supposed to get.

I do get the joke. More so than anyone really knows. There's that song by The Bee Gees. I started a joke and everybody forgot to let me tell the punchline. Maybe they talked over me. Maybe they fucked up the moment and the timing. Maybe it wasn't really funny to begin with. The Watchmen had the Comedian in a similar albeit detestable role. Everything this last year has been woefully at my expense in such a grotesque and public way. And everybody gets away with pretending it never happened. Because somehow they've learned that "this is my thing." And in some ways I've learned the last year that this is indeed my thing. This is my life. I have become a punchline that echoes in the void in such a perverse way. A silent scream that is locked inside the lore of the internet that people feel the hum of grow. I don't intend to stop moving forward. I don't intend on seeking out closure or revenge for the past. I don't think it would help things to heal. I don't think people can bury me another year and walk around me in a Burial shirt pretending to be my neighbor and a spy at the same time. I don't think people can hide all the remarkably selfish and self centered shit they've done on my watch. And yet they will. Everybody is trapped in their own lie of freedom out here. It's easy to get it twisted we are all in this together. Chicago strong. I've heard it before. And it's hard to feel connected when everything just piles on top of you and closes in. I shovel the snow with no thanks. I keep watch over the garbage with silent stares. I pick up the pieces of the lives you keep breaking. You pretend like I don't matter. You act like you are in on something I've spoken to no one about other than in my personal writing. You cause problems and tell people information that they use to hurt me because they are jealous. You do absolutely nothing for me except participate in the paparazzi gaper's block I hold at bay in this city like an army of the dead. And in true dawn of the dead fashion I sit here week after week sectioned off behind the walls of a mall or studio backlot writing about it. Desperately trying to connect to the real heart of civilization. A place where people don't abandon me. And this is that place and always has been. I don't really feel alone. I don't feel unloved. I don't feel abandoned. Especially with eighteen million shell accounts to keep me warm. They mean a hell of a lot more to me than anyone around right now. And I wish each and every one of them a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. The gift of real friendship and connection is most important of all. Don't let anyone gaslight or let you second guess what they mean to you. <3 Moth

[h0esvck]

Oooh I love these kind! They're so fun to do 🤩 (also I accidentally posted the ask earlier when it wasn't finished so I had to post it like this sorry 😅)

Namjoon

As a couple, you two weren't vanilla. In fact, you were both very kinky. And when you both had the day off and thought the kids would be gone at friends houses you both were eager to spend the day together... Naked. Well, he was naked, you were wearing leather straps and other things. So here you were, hands cuffed and legs spread wide, your feet in black heels dangling in the air, as he pounded into you. You were whining and moaning you couldn't focus on anything but each other. It felt so good, "Yes, baby I'm gonna cum, " you said and he grinned. "Yeah? you like it that much huh baby girl?" He pounded into your spot and you moaned your back arching as you came. And then the worst thing happened. The door opened and you gasped and looked to see your teenage daughter with earbuds in. Her eyes widened and she screamed before closing the door with a slam. You looked at each other with wide eyes blushing deeply. "Shit, " Namjoon swore. "I just needed something from your room!!!" She cried from the outside, mentally scarred for life. Nevertheless, there was nothing you could do, your daughter knew you two weren't a vanilla couple, so you encouraged Namjoon to finish. And he did, filling you with his cum and making you sigh in delight. "So good, " you hummed euphorically.

Seokjin

It was the night your teenage son was going to introduce you to his girlfriend for the first time. You and Seokjin were making dinner to show off your husband's skills to the girl, but he obviously wanted to show you a few different skills. "We have time, " he said running his beautify hands down your body. Her house was a good 45 minutes away so driving to pick her up and bring her back, almost two hours plus traffic? You had plenty of time... You thought. So you agreed. It wasn't long before he had you bent over the counter, fucking you in earnest because God you two were so fucking horny right now for some reason. It had only been like, maybe 50 minutes into it and Seokjin was about to cum. "Fill me, fill me up, " you begged because he was your husband. He could cum inside if he wanted to. And it felt really good. Just as he was giving the last few pumps into you, the door opened and you gasped but Seokjin didn't stop, he was desperate and eager to cum. He probably didn't even hear the door open. "Seok- Seok stop!" You said in a hushed whisper but by then it was too late, your son and his girlfriend had rounded the corner to see you, his parents, fucking like horny teenagers over the counter. And that was when Seokjin decided to moan loudly and cum inside of you. You blushed deeply "Oh my God mom dad!?!?!?!!!" Your son exclaimed and turned and covered his red girlfriend's eyes before walking her out th door. You and Seokjin got cleaned up, but it was a very awkward dinner now. The food was really good though.

Yoongi

You two barely got any alone time, so when you came to his studio with a bottle of champagne that had a note on it that said FUCK ME -signed Your wife, he didn't waste any time. You were on his big couch (thank God he had it installed for naps, it doubled as a sex couch now too) legs hung over his one shoulder as he fucked into you. "Yes, don't stop, " you panted, moaning as he fucked you. "Please don't stop, you feel so good, " you said clenching around him making him groan and bite his bottom lip. "Fuck baby, " he came inside and then began to eat you out to get you to cum. "G-gonna cum, Y-Yoongi-!" He moaned against you as he tasted your arousal when you came. Just then the door opened and your teenage son walked in. "Hey dad I need some- Oh shit- fuck!" He turned and tripped out the door falling onto his knees. You winced for him and Yoongi reached over you and closed the door with a slam. "Oh my god, " you covered your face with a whine and Yoongi groaned. "Who taught him how to talk like that?" He pulled his pants back on and you slapped his arm. "You did!" "Oh, right,"

Hoseok

Holding you up against the wall of the dance studio, fucking unto you without abandon was how you two decided to get off. "Fuck, fuck, Hoseok s-so fast, " you said in a high pitched voice and he grinned. He hammered into you, panting a grin on his face. "Fuck, I love your pussy baby, love fucking your pretty pussy with my fat cock, " he held you up by your knees, your back against the wall, and then he gave ur ass a slap making you yelp. You were both sweaty and you were the only one who's pants were off, hanging off left ankle along with your underwear. Of course Hoseok's sweats we're down enough for his hard cock to come through. You both were desperate and couldn't fuck like this at home. It didn't take long for you to cum and drip onto the floor. And then as Hoseok was about to cum the studio door opened and your daughter walked in. You both looked at her with wide eyes. Her eyes were equally as wide and she yelped before turning and running out the door forgetting to close it. Hoseok pulled away and was trying to fix himself up when Jimin starting clapping from the door. Thankfully your pants were tugged up over your hips already. "Wow, scar the kid, good job, " he said sarcastically and you blushed. "Shut up, " Hoseok said a bit pent up since he hadn't cum yet. He was going to find your daughter and apologize.

Jimin

Bouncing on Jimin's lap like a porn star was how your teenage son found you. Your hands we're on Jimin's knees as your faced him, bouncing up and down on his cock as he rubbed your clit. "Damn baby you look so fucking hot like this, " he said. You both really liked when you rode his cock, it was really fun for you both. Your boobs bounced and Jimin's cock hit a great spot inside of you. "Gonna cum baby? I can feel you throbbing already, " he smiled sinisterly. The thing is, you guys were doing this on the living room couch. And when your son walked in he dropped his fast food and drink causing a mess all over the floor. He just stood there staring because he just, he didn't know what the hell do to. Jimin covered what he could of you with his hands as you curled up against him to hide your body. "Get a hold of yourself and go to your room, " he said in an authoritative voice and your son nodded before running out. Jimin sighed and groaned in annoyance. "Well this is great, " you just whimpered making him chuckle. "Maybe we should finish in our room, " he suggested and you nodded. "Okay baby hold on, " he picked you up and carried you to the bedroom where he successfully finished you both off. Later you apologized to your son for doing it in such a public place and you bought him more food as an apology. He accepted.

Taehyung

You were face down on the floor in the hallway as Taehyung was above you, pulling your hair back and fucking his long cock into your pussy. "Fuck baby, so fucking tight, " he swore his legs spread around your thighs since your legs were together giving Taehyung a tighter sensation. He began to grunt and fuck you faster making you moan and dig your nails into the carpet. "Gonna fill you up with another baby, " he said between breaths. That's actually why you were fucking. You wanted another baby and you were trying to get to the bedroom but you didn't quite make it. So the hallway outside your door would do... "Fuck yes!" You said and he laughed before fucking deep into you and just as you came he filled you up with his seed. He groaned loudly before pumping his cock a few more times and pulling away to look at your cream filled pussy. "Holy fuck, " is what you expecting Taehyung to say. But it came from one of your twins. You both looked behind you and saw your two twin boys standing at the end of the hallway. You yelped and Taehyung gestured them away before picking you up and taking you to the bedroom where he cleaned you up. "T-they saw!!!" You said in dread and Taehyung chuckled. "They're nearly grown, it's fine, every kid has a traumatic experience with their parents like this, " he promised and you sighed relaxing against his chest. "You're paying for their therapy since you're the one who fucked me in the hall." You pouted and he smiled. "Of course, " he kissed your forehead and you smiled. You were happy and warm abd hoping to add another addition to your family soon. Hopefully, a new baby would outweigh the trauma of seeing your parents fuck in the hallway.

Jungkook

You were sucking him off in the morning before he headed to the studio. This was the same time your kids we're starting to get up and get ready for school. "Fuck your mouth feels so hot, " he panted his eyes closed as he gently pulled your hair and massaged your scalp. You continued to bob your head up and down his endowed length. He had had a dream about you doing just this and you decided you wanted to fulfill that this morning. It had been a while since you just had sex to do it for fun, and not because you were stressed and to relieve some frustration. And now you were happy to get your husband off. Sadly the oldest child had a question about why the toaster wasnt working and decided to open the door without asking. And then she saw her mother sucking off her father. "Well shit, sorry, " she closed the door and screamed to herself. "What is it??" The second youngest boy asked and she told him it was nothing, she saw a spider or something an they both ran down the hall. "Fuck, " he bit his bottom lip in embarrassment and you blushed as well. "Let's just finish you up and I can send them to school and you to work okay?" You said taking his cock back in your mouth. He didn't oblige one bit. And he came really hard all on your tongue, his head falling back in pleasure, a deep moan leaving his lips from the pleasure your mouth gave him..

Masterlist ⛥彡

[eirabach]

Skin Deep [TAG post 3x26]

Oh my god. Oh my GOD.

Okay, here's my first mini dive into post canon TAG. It is unlikely to be my last 😂

----

Jeff Tracy has five sons.

A five times fic that isn't really a five times fic at all. After all, a man rarely comes back from the dead more than once.

----

----

I can feel my heart beating as I speed from

The sense of time catching up with me

----

It starts with a mission. 

Nothing too out of the ordinary, just a freighter struggling at the edge of the atmosphere, an unstable fuel supply, and his teenage son piloting a rocket to relieve them. Perhaps it is a little out of the ordinary. He does try not to show it though.

Alan is certainly an accomplished pilot, maybe even better than Jeff himself. He's certainly better than Jeff had been as an eighteen year old, taking pretty girls out for joyrides in his mother's ancient turboprop.

Alan is doing just fine.

Scott? Not so much.

Jeff had been led to understand that John had fielded all of IR's calls during Jeff's long absence, a fact that certainly accounts for the dark circles beneath the boy's eyes,l. So it was John's toes he'd worried about stepping on when he'd begun routing calls through to his desk, though John had assured him he'd be glad of the rest.

It isn't John's voice interrupting his every order.

He mutes the line between himself and Three, and spins his chair to glower at his eldest. Scott is pouring over the telemetry, his knuckles white against the edge of the pad.

"Scott," he says, as strongly as he dares. "You're confusing the kid. I know what I'm doing."

"But Alan --"

"Is my son!" He regrets it at once, the way Scott's jaw drops and his hands fall. Hates the way he sounds -- like a bitter old man. Jealous.

He hates the way he means it, how Scott's single nod sits like satisfaction at the back of his throat when it ought to sting.

"I know," Scott says, all quiet and reasonable as though he might be Virgil in a mask. "but he's still my brother."

Soft words gently said, yet they leave a burn he feels right across his heart.

He doesn't quite know why. 

---

Virgil is his grandmother reborn, with one fairly major difference. Virgil is absolutely big enough to pick Jeff up and put him in his room if he thinks for one moment that Jeff might be overdoing it.

It seems he thinks Jeff is overdoing it a lot.

It's the third full med scan of the week, and Jeff has undergone less torturous poking and prodding in order to be shot into space than Virgil appears to deem necessary for him to be allowed to head down to the hanger under his own power.

It's touching. It's sweet. It's… getting a little old.

He isn't likely to tell Virgil that though, because although he's treating Jeff as though he's made of glass it's clear to anyone with eyes to see that Jeff's not the fragile one in this room.

Another vial of blood, another heart rate monitor. Another whisper, directed somewhere around his right knee.

"I'm so sorry, dad."

This has to stop. "For what?"

"Scott never gave up."

Ah. Jeff's been gone a long time, but some things never change. Virgil has never been one to admit to being wrong. This is probably as close as he'll ever come, and it's so damn unnecessary that if it weren't for his son's downturned expression Jeff might be inclined to laugh.

"Tell me something Virgil. Do you still play?"

"Yeah, yeah when disasters allow. You know how it is."

Jeff very much doesn't, but he fears a reminder of that fact might just tip Virgil over the edge.

"You stopped for a while, as I recall. After your mother went."

"Yeah. It hurt too much, knowing she'd -- that she'd never hear me again." Narrowed eyes. "You remember that?"

"I'm getting old, Virgil. I'm not senile." A smile. "Did you ever give up painting?"

Virgil stares, then, shaking his head.

"No. I never gave up painting."

Jeff thinks of his own art, scratched into the walls of his hellish home. The villa. Three. His Lucy's eyes scrawled over and over until they became too much to bear and were hidden behind a washing machine. Those same eyes look up at him now.

"Hmm." Jeff squeezes his wrist, lies back on the med bed, and closes his own. "Glad to hear it."

---

He doesn't know what to make of it, any of it. John's standing there with a computer in his hands and an expression on his face that suggests Jeff needs to tread very, very carefully.

Unfortunately, this has never been his strong point. Eight years of isolation have not helped.

"What is it?"

The computer flashes, a circle of yellow light, and John winces. A voice Jeff doesn't know echoes around his lounge. 

"I prefer she."

"My apologies," he manages, because his mother's watching and she didn't raise an oaf. "What is she?"

"John made me."

"She's yours?"

John shuffles on the spot, awkward, as though he's confessing to something rather more dire than the writing of a computer program.

"She's not -- I don't own her. I created her, but she's -- she's her own person. Kinda. We're working on it."

"Working on it?" His voice goes up at the end. John winces again. The computer glows. Amber to red to amber. "She's sentient? You created a sentient being?"

Gordon laughs, because Gordon would, and claps Jeff on the shoulder.

"Your first grandkid is a sociopathic sentient computer code. Bet you weren't expecting that one."

"I do not like you, Gordon Tracy."

Gordon beams at this, and John rolls his eyes. It almost looks like they've had this conversation before. Rehearsed it. He'd believe that of John. He'd believe almost anything of John. But this --

"See?" Gordon's still grinning. John's still watching him, the computer held close to his chest. "She's totally John's kid. Grandpa, meet Eos. Eos, this is your Gramps."

"Charmed," the computer says, an echo of John's laugh in her voice, and Christ, he needs a scotch.

Grandchildren. He'd never dared dream of them.

(He knows why, and shame chases the whiskey down his throat.)

---

He spends a lot more time out in the pool now. It starts as physiotherapy, Virgil and Gordon guiding his struggling body through the motions that will help to strengthen atrophied muscles and support weakened bones, but becomes, in time, a place he spends the hours after dinner, watching his youngest children and wishing for things he'll never have.

He does it a lot, enough that his space pale face is now bronzed and pink, enough that Gordon and Alan think nothing of a cry of 'c'mon, get Dad!'. Enough, that when Gordon grabs him round the waist and goes to throw him, he shouldn't be shocked. He should have noticed.

There's a great silver-red scar arching from his boy's shoulder and curving up his spine, stopping just where the high collar of his blues must hide it. 

What the hell happened? What the hell happened?

He must say it out loud, or maybe his face says it for him, because Gordon freezes, releasing him, and then just stands there. A little hunched. A little sheepish. In the pool Alan treads water, silent. Waiting.

Alan knows. Jeff does not.

That's just the way of things, now.

"Had an accident."

Alan scoffs, his voice louder across the water. "Nearly got murdered, more like."

Jeff's grip tightens until Gordon flinches. He lets go as though burnt, but his hand still hovers there, just above the puckered ridge of skin. Waits.

"Son?"

Gordon shrugs, the scar pulling tight.

"Alan's exaggerating, dad. It wasn't --"

"He nearly died!"

"I got better," there's a false sort of brightness to it, a twist to Gordon's mouth that suggests Alan is probably closer to the truth than Jeff would like. "It's no big deal, dad. Swear. It's nothing. I don't want to make a thing of it."

The sun dips below the horizon and throws a last burst of red across the water, across Gordon's back and Jeff's hand and he wants to argue. Wants to demand. Wants the information that's owed to him as this boy's father. Who would dare lay a finger on his boy? Just how close had he come to losing him without even knowing?

But his funny little boy isn't a boy anymore, and Jeff's rights to his stories are lost somewhere in the trail of the stars.

"Of course, son," he tells him. "Of course."

---

He catches Alan at the table, some piece of electronic junk spread out in front of him like a childhood jigsaw, his brows furrowed.

"Everything alright there, Alligator?"

Alan's nose wrinkles at the old nickname, as though he's forgotten. Probably he has. Jeff had left him just a little boy, and he's come back to, if not a man, then a boy right on the cusp of adulthood. A boy who's already been taught to shave, and fly, and behave by other men who are not and never will be, him.

"Yeah, yeah all good." He looks up and smiles. Alan's smiles were the purest memory he'd had, out there. They're more beautiful than he'd remembered. "What's up?"

"Not much, believe it or not." Jeff sits, fiddling with a transistor as Alan blows dust from a circuit board. "Electrical engineering, huh? You thought any more about college?"

Alan turns the board over and over in his fingers. "Not really?" He shrugs. "Like you said, I've got a rocket. I save people. I dunno what letters after my name are gonna do to help."

"Well," Jeff says mildly, "it never hurts to have a plan b, son."

Alan drops the circuit board, shoves the various pieces as far away as he can reach, and turns on Jeff with an expression half fury and half abject terror.

"For what? What do I need a plan b for, dad? What's gonna happen now?"

And though Jeff is a man, a grown man, he doesn't have an answer for that.

[punkscowardschampions]

America & Libi

America: This is gonna sound thirsty as hell cos it is 👌 America: your boyfriend's friend, Sean America: do I have a shot? Libi: 😂 Thirst away, I know he would be SO flattered Libi: Bobby isn't MY boyfriend, but that's by the by and so not why you're in my inbox right now Libi: well, he isn't dating anyone, that I know of, I'll ask Bobby to confirm but I'm like 99% sure Libi: and of course he thinks you're cool, you guys would be a sweet match America: He ISN'T? I thought - never.mind 🤫 America: anywayyy America: did he say I was cool? LOL yeah I really feel it now Libi: Everyone says that, don't worry Libi: we're just best friends Libi: Awh, don't be silly! I'm not going to go tell him word for word Libi: like that's not an exact quote but I know the few times we've hung out all together he's had a good time, specifically hanging out with you America: if you're gay I'm like really sorry for getting your hopes up with my thirsty opener! America: Sean does not deserve that quick of a U-turn from me Libi: Not, so you're totally cool and not on the gay girl shit-list Libi: not for this anyway, I don't know who is, officially Libi: He talked about your party for AGES after Libi: even though that got cut short 😕 did you get in so much trouble? America: The reaction from my sister alone would be reason to do it but I don't think I can commit that hard to you & that idea America: maybe if Sean says no America: I hope he didn't say anything about that part of the party when he was talking about it or I'll have to go crawl in a hole America: or bury my mam's boyfriend in one America: did you get to have any fun? I literally don't remember seeing you when we left your house Libi: Well, she is my biggest fan Libi: who's 💔 is theoretically worse, hers or mine rn? Libi: Just what we were all thinking Libi: which was that we thought that guy might keel over if he didn't 🤐 sooner rather than later Libi: so I'm glad you're already making funeral plans though not because that must suck Libi: no, we had a good time, lost in the crowd seems like the answer America: Jake is the only one with any power to 💖✂ her, don't worry, & she's my biggest fan for pointing out on the regs he's a waste of unblemished skin America: we were making all kinds of plans before she got 🍆💫 America: guess I'm on my own with keeping the good times coming ➜ Libi: 🤨 I'm not sure I've heard him say anything interesting before Libi: It's usually a lot of posing and preening, right Libi: but who am I to judge America: 🤣 I'm on the classroom floor rolling America: neither of them are looking for intellectual stimulation from each other Libi: 😅 Apologies to your teacher Libi: I'll pretend my 😳 is paint America: Miss visibly wants to get me diagnosed with something, it's a long-running thing we have going Libi: Like it makes them any more equipped to deal when they have a name for something Libi: must be a funding issue Libi: but that's a rant for another day 🤓 America: Sean is gonna have his work cut out now America: get your not boyfriend to tell him, game on, but he's in competition with you Libi: I'll go easy on him 😉 Libi: oh, and he is 100% single and 100% tried to read that message so America: misbehaviour puts him back in the 🏃 Libi: Damn Libi: Would helping you have a meet-cute with him bizarrely help my case? America: how cute? sharing in my sister's delusions is a turn off Libi: I don't think he's that kind of guy Libi: BUT it would not be weird for me to bring you along to hang with my not boyfriend and it wouldn't be any weirder if he asked Sean, casually America: which means what I've been thinking about him is right America: & you don't have to be disqualified for trying to drag me into some fake paradise where everyone is in love with themselves Libi: I mean, like all boys Libi: or most, I would be asked to ** in Libi: he talks a bigger game than he has, but I mean that in the best possible way, honestly Libi: he's nicer than he can sometimes sound, you know what I mean? America: me too, I hope Libi: You sound nice Libi: thirst and all America: I scared you away before, couldn't let that happen before I got what I wanted from you Libi: No, that was your mum's fella Libi: I promise Libi: I'm just not a party pro America: that's what I mean, before at your 🏠 I could tell you two were out of your depth Libi: I hope you didn't take it as a personal, you and your party thing though America: it wasn't my party Libi: Sorry, no doubt she'd be 😤 over my lack of distinction there Libi: you know what I mean America: I'm just a guest that she didn't really want there, like you Libi: I don't get the whole sibling thing Libi: only child perk and curse, I guess Libi: but I'm not anti-party or anti-you, for the record Libi: just less initiated America: & I'm not anti-anyone cos Chi is, putting that on the record while we're stating facts Libi: Fair enough 🤝 Libi: I don't take it personally from her, also btw Libi: how she has been about Bobs, moreso but that's not on you so like ❌ America: she acts like she burst out of her crib knowing how to do a smoky eye & what shots she liked best America: you've got time to get initiated if you want to America: & yeah, I know she's a dick about anyone not in her ⬛ of perceived coolness Libi: I've got very little shame in how far away from a smoky eye I was as a kid 😂 Libi: She's not the only one Libi: ⬛ are boring Libi: more boring than I probably seemed that night Libi: 🤞 America: I thought you were just 😍💖 America: that's a lot of people in my life right now though so that's probably why Libi: Oh God, you do not need to tell me Libi: I feel like EVERYONE is suddenly, it's wild America: & now me jumping into your inbox America: what's in the water? Libi: I'm sure the Bio teachers are screaming hormones right now Libi: 😬 gross but true America: Whatever the reason, I didn't mean to contribute to the 💖💣 in your face Libi: You're so beyond fine Libi: not anti-love Libi: or a nun America: you'd be in luck if you were, we aren't calling this love Libi: 😍💖? Libi: Gotcha America: interest America: the 1st I've broadcast Libi: Worth pursuing Libi: I hope I've helped confirm, anyway America: maybe we'll end up just friends like you & Bobby or < America: but I think he's worth pursuing Libi: no harming in 👀 or trying, right America: for the right people Libi: I'll drink to that Libi: not right RIGHT now though because that is paintbrush water and I've made that mistake before 🤢 America: vivid flashbacks to your pre-party drinking face America: shock & disgust Libi: Oh nooooooo 😭 Libi: really sold myself as life of the 🥳 Libi: 😂🙄 America: It wasn't any different for me, if you'd be there to see it Libi: No one is doing it for the taste yet are they Libi: I refuse to believe America: I don't think anyone's doing it for the taste ever America: wine or whiskey snobs only wanna show off America: & that's grown adults Libi: My granddad would be so offended 😅 America: If he wants to try & change my mind, I'll come over Libi: Sounds fun Libi: but also like a potential way for him to lose his license so maybe we'll keep it between us America: Why can't he use his words without bringing the 🍷🥃? America: it's like those people who are all about how 🌶🌶🌶 or rare something is America: you wish you were 💪 we understand Libi: I didn't know you just wanted a debate but that's cool too Libi: come over any time, like America: it's off the table at my house America: he'll start blowing a whistle & stop all verbal communication soon America: not a nun either so I assume I won't be into it Libi: Yikes, he should try getting a 🐶 or two Libi: even then, probably be disappointed, soz America: I'll pitch the idea as long as it ends in disappointment Libi: if he doesn't love puppies you know he's not the one America: I know that about him already America: What's Sean's stance? Libi: Good question Libi: I shall 💬 America: don't lie to score points yourself, I'll find out Libi: [so many dog pictures which clearly aren't just her and Killer but her and Twix and Bobby too] Libi: ➕ America: OMG Libi: Yeah 😎 Libi: they're old ladies now but they were puppies once [a throwback we just have] America: Miss is gonna live for this U-turn from 🤣 to 🥺 America: name that personality disorder, bitch Libi: Looking like a poor taste budget horror Libi: LOVE that America: get my good side with that 📹 of yours Libi: but every personality Libi: Got this 🎬 America: every personality's best bits Libi: I wish I could fix everything in post Libi: life would be so ✨ America: edit out Gary America: make Chi less of a cow America: make my other sister reappear Libi: So wild to me how your sister used to be 'round my grandma's at the same time I was and I really can only just remember those days Libi: what is she up to now? America: 😍💖 Libi: Ah Libi: of course Libi: like everyone else in the world America: but you know, with a rented flat & office job Libi: The grown-ups version Libi: I feel you America: I don't know what the fuck we're calling what my mam is playing at America: but yeah, give my sister more grown up points than that Libi: How long has he been on the scene, Gary? America: too long LOL America: but that'd be 1 date in his case Libi: I can't imagine how awkward that must be when it's your mum and your house Libi: it's bad enough when a friend or an auntie or something dates a dickhead America: she's dated fuckwits for as long as she's dated America: but they don't usually see a month in Libi: I'll 🤞 he's gone sooner rather than later America: Thanks Libi: You're okay, right? Libi: That might be weird to ask America: I guarantee it's weirder to answer Libi: You don't have to, that was out of line Libi: but if you wanted to, I wanted to give you the chance, even though all I can do is listen Libi: but we can as easily leave it America: I'm 👌 in the sense that he's probably not gonna murder us all in our beds Libi: That's always something America: but if your grandad decides to leave your nan, I'm down to move in & have nightly debates Libi: It's been nearly 60 years so Libi: he's either overdue or change or you're out of luck Libi: but you're still invited to come crash when you need America: unless Sean makes me a better offer, you win Libi: Of course, of course America: unlikely, I can't really open with please rescue me Libi: Might be a bit strong Libi: but the spare room doesn't come with any of those connotations America: Can I have the dog too? Libi: She'll have to decide for herself, it would be rude for me to Libi: but she's pretty chill as long as you give her treats or attention so it's likely America: What's her name? Libi: Killer Libi: I did not name her America: 😶 I don't really get to say anyone's got a shit name anyway Libi: What's in a name, the English teachers will chime in America: music teacher would probably say a lot Libi: **harmonize it, please America: [does as if we're not fully in class rn] Libi: Brava! 👏 Libi: so much better than whatever 'painting' I've managed this lesson, whoops America: that'll be my L to take for not shutting up America: sorry to your 🎨 Libi: We'll all survive, even if this not-masterpiece does not 🗑 Libi: painting is not my thing anyway America: I never got prime fridge real estate America: as an only child, you would Libi: Only child, technically, but my grandparents have ALL the grandkids, so it didn't always work out like that America: my nan has the same favourite as my mam so 🤷 America: consistency 🎊🎉 Libi: I don't need 3 guesses Libi: why is it Libi: is she most like them or what America: 👼 America: blue eyed, blonde haired fucking wonder America: my entire family IS that shallow Libi: Well I can say blue eyes are overrated and you can say blonde hair is America: skipping over the 🚩 of taking German when my family are basically neo-Nazis Libi: will have to get you out of my DMs stealth if that one rings true Libi: no negotiating America: I don't want to do the cliché plea of how different I am but like, in this instance, it holds up Libi: I'll hear it America: how does a girl prove she's not a Nazi around here? 💭 Libi: 😂 Can you prove/disprove a negative is a big 💭 Libi: too big for before lunch, I think America: Gary's existence proves a negative Libi: 📢🔥 Libi: He felt that America: 💖✂ Libi: If that's the order of the day, I'm not mad Libi: have played cupid once here so America: What about you? Libi: What about me? America: There's absolutely no 😍💖? Libi: Oh, nah Libi: not right now 🤷 America: Then you probably can't answer my kissing questions America: I think that practising on my hand has to be movie propaganda but pretending it'll be perfect & I won't 🤤 all over anyone has to be too Libi: I could try Libi: I've had some but maybe not recently enough to experience counts? America: this close to picking up a 🎸 & opening the floor for them but my sister would KILL me Libi: and Miss would fully be staging an intervention before you could get any decent ones America: even though she's literally a teacher & I'm asking to be taught something Libi: The hypocrisy 😏 Libi: I think the less you think about it the easier it is Libi: which is such non-advice I know America: 👌 have a drink & just do it Libi: lowkey, yeah Libi: nerves never help a performance, right Libi: sure your teacher would have to agree on that one America: Did I agree to putting on a show for him? 👌 I see how it is Libi: 😲 Libi: not what I meant America: No? Libi: I mean, do what you wanna Libi: but not sure he warrants that much effort yet America: 🤣 America: I hope he didn't feel that 💖✂ Libi: It's not shade so it's okay Libi: I covered that he's nice before I went there 🙃 America: Did he go out with Michelle? Libi: Our sources say yes Libi: couple of months America: A couple of months seriously or casually? You were there Libi: I think he thought it was more serious than it was Libi: but I don't think he's looking for that America: & they're 100% over, no hang ups Libi: Totally America: cos she seems cool, I'm not trying to start something Libi: She's chill Libi: he's a free agent Libi: and he's interested too, for sure America: the interrogation can stop 🎊🎉 it's not making me look very chill Libi: I'll never tell Libi: plus you've distracted me from a boring lesson so it's okay Libi: a favour, really America: I can tell you're an only child America: my sisters would use anything I said or did or almost said or did against me if they can Libi: Damn, should I be keeping these in my backpocket? America: realistically Libi: SO bad at this Libi: I'm a slightly better friend 🤞 America: Being somewhere in the middle of a total dick & and a good friend, I'm not the right person to help you get better at either America: partying though America: if you ever want Libi: It would be useful Libi: not gonna lie Libi: as you got what you wanted, like America: I'll knock for you Libi: 👍 Bobby can come too, right? America: yeah, he can join in too America: I won't insist that he kisses me but pitch the idea Libi: I'll 🏏 America: There's always something going on, even with my house being not enough like a morgue but simultaneously too much like a morgue Libi: Halloween isn't the only time for costume parties 👻🧛👽🤖 America: I knew I fucked with you Libi: 😏 Libi: people who think costume parties suck have 0 imagination America: or only wanna look a certain way Libi: that too Libi: heaven forbid you have fun and don't just sit there 😘 America: if Chi didn't feel that, I'll be the one 💖✂ Libi: you can always say it yourself and take credit Libi: on me America: ghost writer, there's a costume in that America: she doesn't just sit there honestly, but it's not about having fun, she'll do fucking anything but it's to keep everyone looking at her Libi: I guess that accounts for some of it Libi: Middle child syndrome is a costume too Libi: if a little abstract America: Favourite child too, but she's got too much wear out of that one as is Libi: No repeats America: worse crimes have been committed than tiara recycling Libi: Maybe Libi: but it's close America: you've got jokes America: I don't think you really need me to teach you anything to be fun at 🥳 America: I predict some kind of 📹 prank is about to happen to me Libi: If youtube pranks are still fun and cool, I'm gonna have to ❌ that because yikes Libi: I just, there's a lot of it that everyone else does that I don't see the point to Libi: for me, anyway America: You don't have to do things that everyone else is doing Libi: Technically Libi: I don't think everyone else is the PSA enabler friend/peer pressure pusher or anything Libi: but it does other you if you don't join in, to a degree, with a lot of it America: 👌 so when we get to your limit, stop me Libi: Okay Libi: but don't go easy just because this all makes me sound about 7 America: Miss wouldn't have oppositional defiant disorder on her diagnosis checklist if I went easy on anyone Libi: 😂 Libi: She's really gone through psychology today yeah America: she's clearly so bored America: & wishing she had talent to scout America: I literally can't have that cos I don't see teachers as authority figures in the first place Libi: Delusions of grandeur ✔ for her America: 🤣 America: sorry you can't control me bitch, call Gary & compare notes Libi: Maybe Gary should bring in his CV America: we'd both love to see more of each other Libi: Of course Libi: and he's the ideal candidate for hapless teacher #46 who can't control their class America: if he ended up 🤯 my mam would 😍😗 the little neck stump America: she's that far gone Libi: Again, I only have experience by-proxy Libi: but that usually ends up 🤯 everything else Libi: so I 👂 America: You heard right in my experience America: my da's got enough left of him to sign a cheque, I picture him like that Adam's family hand Libi: [does the clicks in a boomerang type thing] America: nailed it! Libi: You know Libi: didn't want to be the girl who makes everything about her dead parents Libi: but arguably I'm the proof of everything going 🤯 so I do know a little bit about it America: Shit sorry! I forgot Libi: Don't be Libi: it's good it's not like, forefront of the facts you can recall on me, if anything America: I know what you mean, from a family of attention seeking whores isn't how I like to advertise myself Libi: I'm sure I could make a claim for that title too according to the masses Libi: but neither of us need to 📢 America: send my apologies to Sean if that's what he was expecting America: I do need attention but it doesn't have to be sexual specifically, as Miss can testify Libi: I should HOPE she can America: She plays hard to get, for all her therapizing Libi: She in the 🏃? America: only in the fantasy land she's created Libi: Bless her Libi: any way to kill the day is this place's motto, I think America: 🎼 school song if I do some more harmonising 🎹 Libi: 🌹👏 America: Due credit to you & your ideas America: I couldn't be happier it's not a 😍💖 song Libi: Likewise Libi: so it's worth it and you're welcome Libi: I can give Sean your number, I presume? America: & any screenshots you've taken as mean girl practice Libi: Only the worst bits, obvs Libi: 😘 America: my ugliest sides 👺👺 America: Still not a nazi btw, I just realised the 👃 and brows are a bit anti-Jewish propaganda Libi: 🤔 What if you realizing that is racist though? Libi: conundrum America: well fuck Libi: Hypothetically though Libi: goes a bit beyond mean girl territory to accuse you of racism/fascism America: slightly yeah Libi: thus I would NEVER Libi: 😎 only America: you've seen Gary so you know my hatred isn't rooted in anything racist there America: 🎊🎉 Libi: Can back you up there Libi: nothing but warranted and fair America: Thanks Libi: Has he 💬 yet or is he playing it cool? America: Cool or his teacher is a dick 📴 America: hopefully he's not in a lesson with my sister, that'll turn him off Libi: Not ideal Libi: She's probably changed all her classes to match Jake's, right? America: 🤮 Libi: Too real America: the upside of Gary's regime is that I don't have to see Jake at my house on the regs Libi: Upside? Libi: That's the WHOLE appeal America: 👏 You're not one of the 'everybody' Chi thinks is obsessed with him 🎊🎉 Libi: I don't even know him, in reality Libi: so I probably shouldn't 💬 on him but the only times I've heard him speaking he's been being dismissive or rude so Libi: meh America: Nobody knows him in reality, they live a bubble 🏰👑 America: but when you party, you'll get to know him America: what a fuckwit he happily presents himself as Libi: 😰 Libi: as long as that's in the bottom 3 of the experience, not top, then it won't put me off the 🥳 as a whole America: don't worry, you're too pretty to have to hear the full 💯 Libi: ❓❓❓ America: I just mean, he'll frame it like a compliment for you, so it'll be easier to take or brush off Libi: Compliments don't mean much when they come from an arsehole Libi: 🤷 America: I know Chi didn't feel that Libi: We've all got our taste, I guess Libi: or lackthereof Libi: I'm making myself sound more and more like a nun by the minute America: Not gonna insist that you prove you're not Libi: 🤞 it'll become clear Libi: obvious lack of habit aside America: Excellent wordplay Libi: Do my best Libi: though as it's art, not english, probably not appreciated by anyone but you rn America: Graffiti is words a lot of the time & that's art Libi: That's a good point Libi: I'll have to see if he goes for it America: Good luck Libi: Do you like high school so far? America: maybe that's supposed to be a weirder question than if I'm okay, but I lowkey do like it Libi: Me too 🙃 Libi: Primary was really boring by the end America: I thought everyone would treat me like a giant baby but I've made so many cool older friends already America: & I refuse to give my sister credit for them ALL Libi: Yeah, I thought the same thing Libi: apart from the usual dickheads being like that to everyone whatever the reason, everyone's been pretty chill Libi: and it's nice that we have SOME say over what we take now, instead of just doing a bit of everything America: My even older sister, from your flashbacks, made this place seem really different America: in a bad way Libi: SAME Libi: not your older sister, that would be random Libi: my aunties and stuff made it sound like literal HELL though America: She is a LOL random type, honestly, I'd believe it Libi: 😂 Libi: No DM slides from either sister, we're 👌 America: that'll happen when she finds out you pimped me to Sean Libi: 😬 Libi: well when you put it like THAT America: jk she hasn't threatened anyone on my behalf since everyone was over my OUTRAGEOUS lies about who my da was & I got doxxed to prove how 🥱 he is America: Primary really did get boring by the end Libi: Like I said, no imagination America: what was your favourite lie of mine? Everyone's got one Libi: 🤔 Libi: Long haul lorry driver Libi: because it seemed the most realistic so everyone thought that one was true America: I tripped myself up when I added he witnessed that 🚽 murder Libi: Right Libi: and then suddenly it was all along route 66 Libi: 👎 America: it was a better naming story than my mam's real reasons, I stand by that Libi: Was she a big traveller or wishes she was? America: this would be the PERFECT time for an elaborate lie Libi: Feel free America: you're expecting it now Libi: Suppose that does take away most of the fun Libi: Everyone thought I made up all the stuff about my parents too America: Why didn't you? Libi: That's the thing, probably would've been more comfortable for everyone if I did, honestly Libi: guess the details made it seem unbelievable enough but it just didn't cross my mind, really Libi: I was just wanting to 💬 about them all the time when I was little America: I remember that! Not saying you inspired me to become a pathological liar with how cool it all sounded though America: I probably wouldn't even if Chi hadn't be so mad you gatecrashed her birthday party Libi: 😏 See, can't say I couldn't hang America: she'll still try to but she's said worse Libi: To be expected America: like a text from Sean Libi: Let's not get it twisted though Libi: not excited for it America: 😐 is me Libi: What emoji can I be/ America: 🥳 when I'm done with you, bitch Libi: 😂 I accept America: ask your not boyfriend when he's down & slide into my dms Libi: I will Libi: You can hit up Sean and ask him when he hits you up, finally Libi: I think he's gonna hit you up just after lunch Libi: to show he's casual America: 🐁🐈 America: I'll resist the urge to throw myself at him before then America: to show I understand how this all works Libi: Very mature Libi: or actually, not, but we have to get down to boy's levels America: he's about at our level right now, I think that's how the age gap works Libi: That's fair Libi: there's a lot of lads who still think we're diseased or are more interested in whatever game they are rn America: yeah, I don't know how much he knew about me before we met but there's no escaping that we only just got here America: an age based lie isn't happening Libi: No, that's not working Libi: I don't think you need to lie though Libi: he clearly wants to get to know you more too or I'd be awkwardly letting you down right now, right America: unless you're either too nice to do it or mean enough to want to see me make a twat of myself Libi: 🧐 Libi: Have to see, but I am neither, for the record America: catch me on the rebound 🕷🕸 Libi: All part of the plan America: I'll partner up with you in PE, give you a chance to make your move America: the seating plan'll fuck you over for the rest America: really would look like a nazi if I force Bekah to give up her seat for me like I'm your new BFFL America: 💖💣 Libi: Maybe we don't bring up the 2nd N word around her, like Libi: otherwise she's gonna be cool America: 👌 I'll 🤫 America: no casual German dropped into the conversation Libi: You wanna sit next to each other in German though Libi: the boy I sat next to is 🥱😴 America: The boy I sit next to did fall asleep recently so yeah America: I need to know if I'm 🥱 or he's 😴 & it's not about me Libi: 👋 It's a date Libi: 😘 jk America: they do like it when we roleplay America: 💐🕯🍷

[nellie-elizabeth]

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: The End Is at Hand/What We're Fighting For (7x12/13)

And so we're at the end! Let's dive in.

Cons:

I wish I could give a different response, but a lot of this finale had me feeling a little cold. It's not that it was bad, but all the time spent on Kora and Garrett and on other characters who I don't give a shit about... it felt wasted to me. Kora showing up, and the whole "hello sister" thing, like she's Damon from The Vampire Diaries or some shit... and the redemption arc... all of it felt so telegraphed, and so unsatisfying, seeing as Kora is a new character who we haven't had time to get to know. Daisy's emotional arc ends up being about two characters who were only introduced in this season: Daniel and Kora. I liked the stuff with Sousa, but come on! It's supposed to be about family or whatever... Kora is brand new, there was no time to make it land.

The fact that the whole plan hinges on Kora, and on connecting with Daisy... I loved what Daisy said in last week's episode, about how Simmons is her sister and that's where her focus should be. Found Family > A stranger that you just met who happens to share blood with you. Yikes.

And then I thought about the characters they chose to bring back, and the characters that didn't get even a mention. What about Bobbi and Hunter, for goodness' sake?!

Now that I've seen the whole season, I feel like May's character was really wasted here at the end. I like the idea behind her journey, of coming to terms with her emotions through this new lens. That stuff is all well and good. But I can't help feeling a little bit like she just hung out in the background being blank-faced and then at the end she has some good talks with Coulson about how she's really changed and grown, and that's it? Sure, they gave the Chronicoms "empathy" but that felt more like May was a Chekov's gun, not a satisfying character growth moment for her.

"This is the team's last mission" and "this is the last time we'll all be in the same room"... literally why, though? Okay, sure, the band is breaking up, the team is disbanding, people are moving on to new phases of their lives. That's fine. But nothing about how this show ended made it seem like they'd actually never be in the same room together. Why can't they have real in-person reunions?

And speaking of? I feel like I'm going to be in the minority here, but I hated the epilogue stuff. Like... truly, intensely, hated. The facts of the situation are fine. Daisy and Sousa are off in space with Kora. That's fine. May is teaching. Cool. Fitz and Simmons have retired and are just focusing on their family. Love it. Coulson is seeing the world. Mack and Yo-Yo are still at work. All of that makes sense.

But remember when Daisy got all choked up, talking about how she didn't want them to become people who used to be close, who would catch up every once in a while and that was it? Well... that scene, where they all holograph in for a meeting, was exactly that. It wasn't bittersweet, it was just awkward and bitter. The conversation felt incredibly stilted, and everyone was being so wistful and weird and saying awkward dramatic stuff to one another. I think a much better tone would have been set if instead of this "one year later" awkward sit-down, we'd had a bunch of rapid-fire little moment showing their connection, like Simmons saying to Fitz, "oh, don't let me forget to send that research to Daisy," and then Daisy could be in the middle of something and conference in to ask May a question about something, and May could casually mention that Coulson was going to be stopping by soon, and Daisy should conference in to see him, and then Mack could be on the phone with Yo-Yo when he gets a text message from Fitz... like just moments to show that they've all moved on to new things in their lives, but their worlds are still connected. Instead we got something that felt incredibly staged, incredibly sentimental, and read more like a bunch of actors sitting around saying goodbye to a TV show they were on, instead of characters being their authentic selves.

Pros:

Fitzsimmons backstory was appropriately sweet, of course. I mean, everyone knew Fitzsimmons had a secret baby, but it was still adorable and I loved the little actress and the backstory, and Fitz walking Simmons through her memories to help build a bridge back to their family was really sweet and very authentically them. I also loved Piper and Flint guarding the kid while Fitz and Simmons were off saving the world.

Deke was... the highlight of the finale, for real. When he said "Alright people, I've already made up my mind, let's get to it!" I legitimately got chills and teared up a little bit. This is how you do an epic sacrifice without always making it death. We didn't need a main character to die in this finale in order to make it epic and intense and impactful. Deke staying behind? After all the work he put in, after all he did to belong? It works. It's appropriately tragic, that they'll never see each other again, but it's not too devastating, because Deke is the master of making himself at home wherever he is. He's already a rock god in the eighties, and you just know he'll make it work. The one thing I was bummed about is that he didn't get more of a connection with Fitz there at the end. It felt like he really craved Fitz's approval the whole time, and never really quite got it... and then he spent this last season without seeing him, and then they were separated forever. Kind of a bummer, but I guess you can't have everything!

I know that the "cons" section on this one was pretty long, but that doesn't mean I didn't have fun with this finale. The framing of the epilogue was really bad, in my opinion, but the endgame fates of the characters all worked really nicely for me. I especially liked how Coulson and May are in this comfortable "maybe" place and that's where we end them. Coulson is going to swing by and see May, but they're not a couple, and maybe they won't be, but maybe they will... it works for them. They were never the most showy, dramatic characters in the world, and this soft epilogue for them works so nicely. Ending it with Coulson in the car was... really a perfect button on things.

I also think Daisy and Sousa are sweet. I will never stop being bitter about Peggy Carter, of course, but this actually worked nice, and I love that actor, and Daniel is such a lovely character... so I'm happy he's happy, and I'm happy Daisy is out there with her boyfriend (and her sister), winning at life. Mack and Sousa had a cute little bromance going, and I'm sure they stay in touch and tease Daisy about "Quake" for a long time to come.

Everything about the villains had me YAWNING, but I did like Coulson pulling that final trick on Sybil and the day eventually being saved. There were some good bad-ass moments, like Yo-Yo doing her slow-mo fighting, and May pulling out the Cavalry skills to overpower their enemies.

I feel like I don't have much else to say. A lot of things about this finale didn't quite land with me, and I felt like the sentimental tone didn't have its intended effect. But that being said, all my faves got a happy ending, and I can feel grateful for that!

This finale gets...

7/10

The show overall? Oh boy. I've rarely been more torn. The first season of this show was one of the more bizarre/intense viewing experiences of my life. If you go back and read my reviews, you'll know I was not enjoying myself at ALL. But then the twist with Ward hit, and my veins lit up. Skye went from being one of the most annoying characters on television to a dynamic, empowering woman who I was happy to follow for seven years' worth of story. Fitzsimmons is a genuinely good love story, about people who beat the odds no matter what. The found family vibes are real, and I love them. But that first part of the first season, and these last few seasons, have been disjointed. They've been all over the place. There have been good additions (Flint, Deke, Sousa, Enoch), and there have been bad or lazy ones (Kora, basically every villain in this last season that wasn't a Chronicom). I think at the end of the day I'll give the whole show a grade based on how excited I always was to watch it. There were weeks that I didn't really care to find out what happened next, and weeks where I eagerly counted down the minutes. I guess by definition, that makes this show a mixed bag!

7.5/10

[jojo-at-his-computer]

Of course. I gotta say, this kinda makes me think of the song Pity Party, so I love it.

Josuke X Reader: Happy Birthday To You

It was a lovely morning in Morioh when you woke up, the smell of chocolate chip pancakes and bacon greeting you. You got up, washed your face, put on your favorite outfit, brushed your hair and went downstairs. Your dad was reading the newspaper while your Mom set your place at the table with your special breakfast.

"Happy birthday!" shouted Mom and Dad. You smiled. It was your 16th.

"Thank you guys!" you said sitting down to your meal, instantly drowning your pancakes in syrup and devouring them.

"Imagine that." said Dad in surprise "16! Almost a grown-up." He and Mom smiled proudly.

"Hurry up and eat, then we'll get the decorations put up." You beemed and you finished your breakfast, appetite invigorated.

As you went around the house putting up balloons and streamers in your favorite colors, your mind wandered. Your family had only moved to Morioh a few months ago. You ended up starting highschool in town as a first year, one of many new kids, and you ended up making a few new friends there. Your best friend was Josuke Higashikata, a classmate of yours. He was a pretty nice guy, though if someone were to make fun of his hair, he'd kick their ass. He had a unique pompadour haircut, and while you were a bit nervous to say so, you thought it was cute. You thought HE was cute. Okay just admit it, you were totally crushing on him, hard! You liked everything about him, his hair, his sapphire blue eyes, his smile, and on your first day of school, he saved you from a group of bullies that were trying to shove you into a locker. You've been wanting to confess your feelings to him, but you've been so nervous. You shook your head. Today's not the day to think about mushy stuff like that. Nope! Today's the day for celebration! It's your party and your day to shine!

After putting up the decorations, Mom told you to go ahead and relax in the living room for a few hours until the time that guests would arrive. You played some Mario for a bit, but after falling down and dying for the umpteenth time, you decided it'd be better to watch a few anime videotapes for the time being. But as you went to plug in the VCR, you heard Mom slam the phone in frustration.

"Just great!" shouted Mom. She shook her head and calmed her voice down to not upset you as much. "I'm sorry sweetie, but Grandpa is sick and can't make it, and I just got off the phone with your Aunt. She had an emergency meeting that's running late and had to cancel."

"Oh!" you said a bit surprised. "I'm sorry. That really sucks! I hope Grandpa gets better." You felt bad, but you also knew that your parents would try to get them together again and you all would get to do something special altogether, like a movie or dinner at a restaurant.

"I'll tell Grandpa you said that." said Mom. "It's about time for your friends to start arriving, why not wait in the sunroom to greet them." You glanced at the clock, about 5 til 4 pm, realizing she was right.

"Okay" you answered. You grabbed a copy of Shonen Jump to read as you awaited your friends arrival. 10 minutes, no one yet. That's okay, it's only 5 after 4. 30 minutes went by. Huh that's weird, but they must be running late. 45 minutes now. You start getting a little worried. An hour. You ended up finishing your Shonen Jump magazine. Out of fear and anger, you start pacing the floor in front of the door. Tears start to well up under your eyes. It's 5:15, more than an hour and no one shown up! Without giving it a 2nd thought, you cross to the phone in the kitchen. Mom asked you a question, but you ignored her, all you could think about was knowing why the hell you got stood up at your own party.

You dial Josuke's number at rapid fire speed, hearing the dial tone indicating the phone was ringing. You heard the gentle click as Josuke answered on the other end.

"Moshi moshi, this is Higashikata!" answered Josuke. You couldn't help but feel an odd sense of joy hearing his gentle voice, followed by anger and hurt that he wasn't at your party.

"Where were you!" you said suddenly shouting. Josuke was taken aback.

"(Name) is that you?" asked Josuke. "Where we supposed to hang out or something today? What's wrong?" All of the sudden you couldn't take it anymore and tears burst from you, not being able to hold it in anymore.

"I can't believe you didn't show up for my party!" you shouted "Nobody shown up, the party has been going on since four, and nobody came! Not even Grandpa or my aunt could make it!" you were heaving in-between sobs, shaking before you realized you heard Josuke ask something. You calmed down a bit before you asked him to repeat what he just said.

"Today's your birthday?" he asked.

"Yes of course it's my birthday! I sent you the -" you cut off when it clicked in your brain. You realized what might have happened, why nobody had shown up.

"You didn't get an invitation, did you?" you asked Josuke.

"I don't think so!" answered Josuke, "I wouldn't forget your party if I did."

"Oh my God!" you said feeling weak. "Of course! Something must have happened with the invitations! I'm so sorry. I should have known you'd make it. Well now the party is ruined and it's all my fault."

"Not yet!" answered Josuke. "Don't cancel the party yet. Give me about an hour, I promise."

"Okay." you answered, taking a deep breath. "I believe you, just get here as soon as you can." You hear the dial tone that the line is now dead. You breathed a sigh as you sat on the floor waiting. It was now 5:25. You waited some more. It was 5:55. You called Josuke's house again, but his mom picked up. However she did confirm that Josuke left awhile ago. You said thank you and hung up. At this point Mom looked in the front room where you were waiting.

"I'm sorry honey." she said hugging you. "It's been a couple hours, why don't you join us and we'll cut the cake."

"No mom, I know Josuke for sure is coming." You explained how you found out there was an apparent mailing mishap that prevented the invitations from reaching your friends. Mom shrugged.

"Okay." she said. "But if he doesn't show up before 7, we're cutting the cake without him."

"Deal" you said. You looked at the clock, it was now 6:15, nearly an hour since you spoke to him. Where could he be? Of course! He must be going to get me a present, you reasoned. No sooner you finished your thought, there's a knock at the door.

"Hello", you say as you answered the door. You opened it to find not only Josuke had arrived like he said he would, but he brought some friends with him too. There was Okuyasu and Koichi, two of your friends from school, and two people you didn't recognize, an old man with a white beard and glasses, and a man in his late 20's wearing a white hat that had "JO" on it. Everyone's arms were loaded with giftbags.

"Oh my gosh!" you gushed, "You guys made it! Josuke thank you for bringing everyone here." you said giving him a hug. "C'mon in guys." you motioned for everyone to come inside.

"Sorry we're late," said Josuke, "I called Koichi and Okuyasu, along with my, er, relatives, this is Joseph Joestar and Jotaro Kujo by the way." he said motioning to the old man and the man in white respectively. You remembered Josuke saying he had family members in town recently.

"Hello there," said Mr. Joestar.

"Hello," said Jotaro with a small smile.

"Nice to meet you. Thank you both for coming." you replied.

"We realized that we didn't have any presents." said Koichi.

"And we weren't sure what to get you." admitted Okuyasu.

"Yeah," said Josuke a bit embarrassed. "We kinda panicked and went to different stores. Sorry we didn't have time to wrap anything."

"That's okay!" you laughed. "You didn't have to get me all these presents. I'm happy to have you guys present! (God that's such a terrible pun lol) I'm so glad everyone's here." You led everyone to the kitchen, having the guests put their gifts on one of the tables. There was a whole table with pizzas and potato chips and soda pops, you told the guests to help themselves. You made conversation with your friends and Josuke's relatives as you enjoyed your pizza. Jotaro talked about his marine biology work he's been doing in town. Later you opened presents from your friends. After that, your parents brought out the cake, frosted with pastel buttercream and had 16 candles all aglow. Everyone sang Happy Birthday as you blew the candles, making your wish.

Shortly after the cake and ice cream, the guests started to leave. You said goodbye and thanked everyone for coming. Josuke decided to hang around a little bit before going home. The sun had set and it was nighttime. You and Josuke decided to sit in the backyard and look at the stars.

"I'm so sorry I yelled at you earlier," you said a bit embarrassed.

"Hey, don't worry about it." said Josuke. "I'm sorry I forgot your birthday. I probably should have called earlier, but I forgot, I've just had a lot on my mind lately." You nodded understandably. You couldn't exactly put your finger on it, but a lot of weird stuff was happening lately in town.

"Anyways," said Josuke, pulling out something from his jacket pocket, "I kinda lied. I had something special I've been wanting to give you. I got this awhile ago." It was a small rectangle shaped box. You opened it and inside was a gold medallion necklace with two gold charms, a heart and a peace sign, just like the gold pins he wears on his uniform.

"Oh my, this is beautiful!" you exclaimed. "I love it. Thank you!"

"I'm glad you love it!" said Josuke blushing a little. You sighed. Guess the time is now to tell him.

"So, I've been wanting to tell you for awhile. I've had a crush on you since I started school here. I think you're cute, I love your hair, and I ended up making friends here thanks to you, and I want to be more than friends, but I was so nervous to tell you because I'm afraid you wouldn't like me that way and then things would be awkward and - "

You were interrupted when Josuke suddenly gave you a quick kiss. Both of you blushed a bright red.

"I'm sorry." said Josuke blushing a bit. "I've been wanting to tell you too. That's why I got you the medallion."

"Thank you so much." you say happily. "Now that we're together, you want to see a movie or something this weekend?"

"That sounds great!" says Josuke. You put on the madallion necklace, smiling at Josuke.

"You look beautiful!" said Josuke smiling. You happened to look at your watch, it was about a quarter to 10.

"Oh crap! It's late! You got to get home!" you said in surprise.

"Oh God you're right!" said Josuke looking at the time. "Meet you at the movies this weekend?"

"Of course." you answered. You gave him a kiss goodbye and walked him to the front door. You waved goodbye as he left, then went to help Mom clean up and put away the party decorations. While it had a rocky start, it turned out to be an amazing party. You thought about the wish you made when you blew out the candles, it had come true. You wished to kiss Josuke.

[starbide]

Inspiration below. The following is a work of fiction.

 'Six years,' I thought to myself walking down the road. It had rained earlier that evening, but by now the clouds were long gone. The pavement shimmered in the waxing moonlight, still slick with the water of those vanished clouds. I would not slip; the road was mostly level as it lazily stretched down the gentle hill behind me, and the streetlamps cast in gold what the moon would otherwise leave dim. The world was silent.

'It's hard to believe I've been gone that long,' I continued, step by step. Six years since I'd moved away for my career. Six years since I'd left my family behind. 'Left her behind,' I smirked to myself, passing a large bush on my right. Houses stood dark and serene on either side, all daily activities complete and put to rest. No cars joined me on the waterlogged street, preferring the concrete comfort of their driveways and garages. I approached and passed under another hazy lamp.

It was cool out, a gentle breeze brushed past the wool of my jacket without raising a single goose bump. I paid it no mind; I was always a bit warmer blooded than others in my circle. My best friend for most of my school years couldn't understand my ability to wear shorts comfortably year-round. 'Those were the days,' I mused, thinking back to the last time we'd seen each other. It had to be more than a decade at this point, long before I'd moved north for work and expanded my wardrobe to include legwear longer than my knees.

I reached an intersection and paused. Four ways, no direction more enticing or foreboding than the next. A lamp at every corner, and the bus station deserted save by its sign across the diagonal. The station I'd waited at patiently every morning for that bright yellow school bus, before I'd ever met my old bestie. It was just me and one other kid, a rather scrawny looking boy who had been in most of my elementary grades but with whom I'd never really gotten on with. We'd shared classes, teachers, and the occasional pencil or marker, but never played together outside of academia. He'd moved away much longer than a decade ago. Now I was really delving into my memory, faded as it was with time.

I checked my phone: 11:57 PM in small white font. My first night back home, I should be exhausted. This wasn't my normal time zone and airplane seats aren't exactly memory foam, but I'd found a second wind after dinner and took to the night after my folks had gone to bed themselves. Sure, I'd been physically gone for six years, but we'd stayed in touch off and on since I'd left. Maybe five months back was our last video call. We'd talked about me taking this trip, now that things had settled down and my life was much more under control. Things had been wild for a while, and if all went according to plan at work things would become wild again not too far down the line. Which reminded me, I needed to make another appointment when I returned home. Couldn't go running out of my prescription again.

A brief twitch of motion caught my eye, and I peered down the leftward lane. One of the bulbs had burned out a few dozen meters down, and in this larger pool of darkness something had moved. At least I thought it had, but my eyes could be playing tricks on me with the shadows. One dark spot moving erratically through a larger, differently dark spot wasn't exactly proof of anything. But of course, my heartbeat quickened regardless. Base human instinct, I suppose. Spot a motion in the dark, prepare to act to either fight or flee.

That hallucination had triggered something else in me though. A memory, unconsciously bidden, rose up behind my eyes. That kid, the little one I'd shared a bus stop with for years, I did not recall being nice to often. Many times, I'd engaged in common teasing, and he always took it personally. A couple times he'd even cried, but I'd never gotten in much trouble for it. A different time I supposed. That sort of behavior wouldn't fly nowadays, and that's good. I felt a bit sick thinking back about it, as it was now clear I'd been a bit of a bully. What it hadn't been was a wake-up call for my parents, who didn't get me the help I had so desperately needed until much later in my teens. I was better now, better enough to see what I'd done back then was very wrong. I couldn't remember all of it, but that boy's tears had stuck with me. I wonder what happened to him?

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts and calm my pulse, I opted for the path in front. This route would wind close to the park, after a couple turns beyond my current field of vision. Crossing the street, I didn't even bother looking left or right, as the night was so quiet and empty, I could hear a car coming from miles away, if there were any to hear. A rock lay in the far side gutter; I kicked it just to give my ears some stimulation. It knocked against the cement curb and bounced across puddles thin as saran wrap to a rest. By then I'd already forgotten about it and left that intersection behind.

Another thought was creeping up from my subconscious, this one more distasteful than the last. I'd left a girl behind when I moved for work, and the breakup hadn't been pleasant. She'd been very upset, naturally, and felt betrayed I was abandoning her like that. Abandoning. It had been her word, not mine, but with the clarity of distance I could see she was right. It had been years since I'd considered how we ended, and I wasn't sure what spurred those thoughts just now, but after what I'd done to her, I could accept she was right.

Still though, rounding the first turn, my leaving her should have been a good thing. Now that the floodgates of memory were open, I may as well dive right in. She'd been so hurt by my sudden departure because I'd systematically isolated her from her friends and much of her family too. She'd grown more and more attached to me, and I'd encouraged that through some particularly devilish means. I didn't know about the term 'gaslighting' at the time, but that was a polite way of putting it. I'd been very proficient at psychological manipulation back then, and my desire for control over her life could have consumed us both. At the end, she'd only had limited contact with her sister, who had been rightly concerned about her but too terrified of me to do anything to stop me. Looking back, I can't blame her. I now believe it was good that I left when I did. I hope she realized the same, though I haven't heard from her since.

Now the road turned left, arcing gradually around a thicker cluster of trees. This walk was turning out to be less relaxing than I'd hoped. The smallest things seemed to be dredging up thoughts and old memories in me, and none of them were painting me in the best light. Being my thoughts, maybe that was the best light I could possibly be presented in. Maybe their memories of me, the version of me still living in their mind, was far worse than I could imagine on this unassuming suburban night. I'd read somewhere that we're all the hero of our own story, and of course the hero never thinks they're the villain. But I'm sure that's what I am in at least a few people's stories. I'm starting to feel like the villain in my own.

Opening up ahead of me is the park, and the wide-open fields I remember so well. This area is less well lit, with streetlamps only illuminating the edges of the grass and allowing the moon to bathe the world in dead white. In reality, this is only sunlight reflected, but from the moon it feels much less like the bright star that gives this planet life. Like Luna itself, it feels cold and impersonal, like it wouldn't actively try to end my life but also wouldn't even notice if I merely faded away into the ether. I'd had some trouble with those thoughts as well over the years, before I got help. And now, rushing back to me, I remember they were also why I lost my best friend.

He and I had been out for the evening, playing some game with a few other friends. The game had ended, and we were walking home together when a car had rushed past us. Neither he nor I were injured, but it had been close and the driver had continued on recklessly. After it rounded the corner, we'd both heard a large thumping sound, followed by the rapidly diminishing roar of its engine. After a quick glance between us we'd rushed around the corner ourselves to see a big yellow dog crumpled up in the drain. Not losing a moment we hurried up to it, but we needn't have rushed. It had most likely died on impact, before we even saw it.

My friend had knelt down next to it to try and save it, even though it was hopeless. He must have known, but it's only natural to want to help another life. At least, it is for me now, and it was for him then. I remember him crouched over the dog, tears in his eyes when he accepted what happened, and then he looked up at me. His tears ebbed and his face froze in fear at what he saw, but he couldn't say anything to me at the time. We walked home in uncomfortable silence after that, and said a short awkward goodbye. Truth be told, that's the last time we spoke to each other in person.

Thinking of the next part, I felt a chill run deep into my core. I remembered now what he told me, over text message later that night. He'd bent over the dog and been so distraught because he knew it. He'd checked the tag to be sure, but it was his neighbor's dog that he'd grown up playing with. I think he'd even muttered its name a couple times, but I'm not sure. But when he looked up at me, he said I had the biggest grin he'd ever seen. The look on my eyes was not maniacal, as some would think, but dead, not present. As if the dog dying had brought out a whole new face in me, as if the lights were on but nobody was home, and yet the lights still wanted to kill you. It had terrified him, and it was all he could do not to sprint from me that moment without looking back. I don't think he ever knew how right he'd been back then, something that took me years to realize and longer to overcome.

I quietly walked to the center of the field, as far from the streetlights as possible, and looked up. The moon provided none of the same dangers as the sun when staring straight at it, and I took a few moments to just gaze at it and let my thoughts sort themselves out. I'd been a monster in my childhood, a terror in my youth, before I found my doctor and we set out on a years-long journey to get me better. Any other time I'd have kept on that dangerous path, ruining some lives and possibly ending others. That had all changed, thanks to my incredible fortune and a lot of hard work, but with the clarity of hindsight I could see just how close to the precipice I'd come. How I'd always be there in the minds of childhood mates and adolescent connections. And this was just what I could remember now. There was no way for me to know how many other monstrous versions of me still lived in any number of former classmates.

In the corner of my eye, I saw another twitch in the shadows. Jerking my head down, I followed the motion to the foot of the trees, the darkest spot on the field. This time there was no mistake; there was definitely an object moving there, slowly but surely. My heartbeat shot up and my throat swelled as I bent my knees and got into a defensive posture. The object lumbered forward, moving without haste but with purpose. When it came into the light, I was surprised to see a little boy with a scratched-up shirt and messy brown hair. Standing up in confusion, I was certain I'd seen him somewhere before. Step by step, I focused on every detail I could make out in the gloom, before it hit me like the car that last night walking home.

That boy was dressed, to the letter, the exact same way I had on picture day in third grade. My hair had been an untamable brown mess, and even the cheap novelty watch was the same. I was more perplexed than anything now, as I couldn't understand for the life of me what a kid was doing in that field, at midnight, wearing clothes that weren't even made any more. That was until he spoke, and his voice froze my blood in its veins.

It was like whispers, floating around my head, and several voices all at once and all taking turns being the loudest. They were all his, but not really. His mouth had opened and his lips were framing the syllables, but it was my voice from so many years ago repeating every taunt, every tease, every foul nickname I'd ever given that scrawny boy who shared a bus stop with me. Who'd cried, not once or twice, but dozens of times. Who'd gone home often with scrapes and tears in his clothes personally inflicted by myself. I had terrorized him for years of his early life, and what I saw before me must be what I forever lived as in his memory.

But if that were true, then this kid in front of me couldn't be real. I had to be hallucinating again, I must have been more exhausted than I'd allowed myself to feel. He sure looked real, though, and his footsteps were matting the grass in a way I didn't trust my mind to make up. But the ghostly, strangled voices of my younger self crashing in waves into my ears gave the entire scene a surreal feeling, making the hair on the back of my neck stick up like electricity. I couldn't bring myself to step away, and I sure as hell wasn't going to walk forward to meet him. It. Whatever it was I was seeing, real or not.

Only a few meters away, he stopped moving. Swallowing bile, I could do little more than watch him as the voices continued to echo in my ears, unchanged by his distance all this time. Then I spotted another motion far off to my right, and then a third to my left. Glancing quickly between them, I determined that they were both noticeably older than the child before me, one by a few more years than the other. They too walked slowly towards me, bringing their own voices to the forefront. Despite the dozens of voices I now thought I was hearing, every word registered clearly in my mind. One was speaking about my old best friend and the dog, the other repeated every lie I ever told my ex-girlfriend before leaving. As if their mere presence in my eyes were not enough, hearing my old, hateful words repeated to me in my own voice almost made me vomit with fear and disgust.

They too, stopped approaching me at the same distance as the child. As they did, dozens more similar hallucinations emerged from the trees and surrounding neighborhood, all carrying their own chorus of hate and venom and bringing back new, abhorrent memories of my youth. Terrorizing a girl in my 4th grade class. Catching squirrels in my early teens and setting them on fire, then getting caught myself. Giving that kindergartner a major concussion on a dare, after my best friend had ceased speaking to me. Even one similar in age to myself now, though he brought words of loss and failure, and of betrayal to my parents. That must have been right before my breakthrough, with the doctor and an early test version of my current prescription. I was better now. I had to be. But why was I seeing all of this, all of these versions of me locked in the minds of everyone who I'd left behind in my life? My trail of destruction?

They had all stopped walking now, forming a tight semicircle around me. The voices still buzzed in my ears, but slowly they faded to an indistinguishable babble. I tried to speak, but my throat had caught a bubble, so I gulped fruitlessly and closed my mount again. The thoughts racing through my mind had no similar handicap, as my mind shouted repeatedly the same things. Who are you all? Why is this happening? What are you doing to me?

The version of me who gaslit my girl took a couple steps forward, as if presenting himself as the leader. I had no time to process what this might mean before he spoke, in a much clearer form than any of these hallucinations had yet. "We are you. We are you that you left behind, trapped in the minds of those you hurt, frozen in time from the moment you left us years or decades ago. We have had no life to live, no chance to grow and thrive, no possibility to leave the prisons of mind which you left us in, being tortured again and again by those you tortured without remorse and without recompense. We cannot sit by from behind our bars as you continue to enjoy the life you stole from us all."

"I didn't know I was doing this!" I cried, finally able to break the blockade in my throat. "I was a monster, I know that well now, and I've spent years trying to recover from the damage I've done!" I felt foolish, yelling out into the night at visions only visible to myself. 'All this work, all this progress,' I cried to myself. 'This will set me back months if not more, and I can only hope my medication doesn't fail like I have.'

The same me looked down at the ground and shook his head slowly. "I'm sorry, but you must know how little that matters to us. You've lived a life of freedom from any repercussions and locked us away to suffer in your place. You've flaunted that fact with your precious medical tools and until tonight, hadn't even remembered us or what you did to torture and imprison us. We are here now for the life that you stole from us, to end the torture you sentenced us to and walked away from yourself unscathed." He took another step forward, his face growing menacing.

"I don't know what that means," I cried, shaking my head as the tears started to drop. This was starting to feel all too real, and fear was expanding like a balloon deep into my core. "I don't know what any of this means. What do you want from me!?"

Another step. "We want your life," the gaslighter said mirthlessly. "We all want your life, the life wrongly denied us time and time again. And you will learn what it means to be ripped apart and put back together, over and over again. Tortured yourself for what you did to so many people in your life. You gave us to them to burn, to break, to grind down into dust and be restored only to do it all over tomorrow. You tortured them, and then you gave them us to work their revenge on, day after day with no hope of an end. And the most unforgivable of all was giving the youngest of you away to feel this pain the longest. Over two decades have the youngest of us been taken to pieces, shattered in mind and body and soul for your carelessness and your fleeting experiments in sociopathy. This will end tonight."

I could say nothing, the terror burning white on my face. If this was a hallucination, it was the worst one I'd ever had and I had no idea how I'd survive it. It was far too realistic, far too deadly for me to think of anything else, any of the tricks and tools my doctor had given me. What had happened to cause this? I swear I never missed a day on my prescription, and these memories... Where had they all been before? Why had I not been able to recover them and work through them with my doctor? Were they even real? Was this me, standing only a meter away now, real? Or was he only real in my mind, and if he wanted to hurt me would that distinction make a difference? I reached out my hand, reaching toward his arm slack against his torso...

And he reached out and took my wrist like a vice. Ice cold and unflinching, he held my arm up in front of me and closed the gap between us imperceptibly fast. "You may have many regrets. I have only one," he said in a low, bloodthirsty voice. "While there are dozens of us gathered here, dozens you sentenced to eternal damnation without a second thought, only one of us may live this life. I may not be the youngest of your victims, I may not give you the longest time in the torture you gave us, but I intend to fight with everything you have put me through these long years. Your life is mine."

As he growled in my face, a white-hot streak of terror shot through me and I pushed him back with almost reflexive strength. He staggered, rebalanced, then looked at me with cannibalistic hunger in his eyes. He panted twice, then screamed and lunged at my neck. With adrenaline now coursing through me, I turned and sprinted away from the gathering, hearing the pounding of footsteps deep in my brain. He had grabbed my arm. I glanced at it as I reached the sidewalk and saw a chalk white handprint etched into my grayish skin. The urge to vomit came back, but I managed to fight it down as I kept up a faster pace than I'd ever run before. The swarm of my past, tortured selves was hot on my heels, like starved dogs following fresh game. Any loss in my speed and I'd be eaten alive, or worse. I truly did not know what would happen if they caught me, and my mind was too far gone to even entertain the idea of hallucinations any more.

I rounded the next curve and thought the sound of the pack was a little quieter than before. It still sounded like pure rage and bloodlust, but with fewer voices than before. Thinking it was only a few stragglers being blocked by the trees, I kept up the fastest pace I could, not even feeling my feet hit the ground. Another hundred meters of straightaway and it was definitely growing less loud with each step. The roar was diminishing, no trees to hide the sound now, but it was still a roar. By now a cramp had begun to grow in my stomach, and no matter what I did I felt myself losing speed. Every few steps I could burst forward faster again, but I couldn't maintain the same rocket pace as before. To my ears, though, as my speed gradually fell, so did the volume of my pursuers. By the time I got to the intersection, it only sounded like a couple of me were still hunting, and I could count their individual footsteps. It was at this time I chanced a look behind, just to know what was still coming.

Right on my neck was him, the gaslighter. He grinned at me, his face less than a meter away. I felt that same shock explode throughout my body and I shot forward, faster than before if possible, fully terrified again now that I knew he and he alone was here for me. I kept running and running, past houses, lanes, and bushes. Still no signs of life from any houses, no cars rumbling down the road or creaking into place in a driveway. The night was as empty and uncaring as before, and only myself and the predator I had been broke the gentle midnight breeze. My legs thundered on, screaming in pain in their own way, but I didn't stop or look back again until I'd reached my family's old house a few blocks down.

Now truly running on empty, I turned back to face my hunter, but he was gone. Disappeared. Evaporated into the night, nowhere to be seen. The moon still hung high, reflecting some small percentage of sunlight down to me, and the streetlamps bathed the road and yards in amber light. He wasn't hiding from me, he hadn't overtaken me. There was no shortcut to the house, it was a straight shot from the park. He was simply gone, faded back into the night from which he'd come without a trace. If he'd ever really been there at all, and not merely a hallucination from exhaustion or medication or... I didn't even know any more. I just knew that he was gone, just gone, just gone.

"Hey, are you okay?" A voice called out to me. I jumped, but only in surprise. It was a familiar voice, but not familiar like my own. It sounded like my dad, and I heard large, calm footsteps walk toward me from our front door.

"Yeah," I said, although it was little more than a whisper. I buckled over, fell to my hands and knees, and felt the cramps and burning in my lungs catch up to me as the adrenaline faded away. I felt like vomiting, for the third time that night, but this time it was easier to fight the urge than before. I got some deep breaths in as I panted on the ground, slowly but surely recovering from my insane dash moments before.

My dad walked up in front of me, wearing the same well-worn brown leather shoes he'd owned since before I left. I didn't want to worry him about this night, and what I thought I saw in the park. Not when my recovery was going so well. Not when a lapse like this would mean months of work just to get back to where I was only an hour ago. "I'm okay dad, I just went for a walk. Then I saw how late it was and tried to get back as fast as I could. I guess I'm not the athlete I used to be, eh?" I tried to lift my head up to give him a weak smile, but still couldn't raise it much higher than his waist

He chuckled softly, and sounded a little strange. Still sleepy maybe, I guess I woke him up coming back here, and maybe I was screaming too. I don't know any more, I don't know what was real any more. But he knelt down in front of me after I dropped my head again, still exhausted, and said, "That's okay sport, I think we both know your real talents weren't on the field. I learned that lesson very well over the past six years."

[sickdaysofficial]

Jan. 29: “Good Samaritan”

Day 2: Good Samaritan

Warning for seizures? That’s it. Also a bit of a warning that the world this is in deals in magic and monsters. Find more about that on my OC blog, @the-entire-monster-kingdom, and find more of my I&I writing at @tokyoemeto!

___________

Ajax felt fine when he’d left the house earlier.

But that was earlier.

He felt fine the whole time, really. It was a nice day, even. He got to spend time in the older neighborhood and pet the outdoor cats and even help some of the locals in the garden. He’d gotten a few things in return to take home, and after a short detour, he was back out in town. It was, for once, a great day— Until he blacked out. No matter what one might expect, it wasn’t so easy to get used to having seizures. As much as Ajax had grown used to the idea of it, every time he found himself coming to while laying on the ground or snapping back into reality, it was jarring, especially when it was something that could even be less than a couple of minutes long, but ruin an entire day.

Everything seemed muffled at first. Far away, distant. Hazy. Warm, gentle hands touched him, moving him carefully. Everything seemed to dissipate once more before he finally came to, staring up at the person touching him dazedly. He wore white… Was that a cloak? He didn’t think many people outside of the old neighborhood wore those. He was probably an adventurer. He pushed his hand under Ajax, pulling him up gently after having laid him on his side. Ajax couldn’t help the groan that left him, supporting himself with a hand on the ground and running a hand through dark locks of hair. Though it seemed to hurt the stranger, he kneeled next to Ajax. “Hey, are you feeling okay?” His voice was gentle, as if they were out for a walk in the park, “You know where we are, right?” Ajax nodded. He felt like he couldn’t find his voice for a moment, finally finding words after coughing for a moment. “We're… We’re in the middle circle, right? Near the cafe?” The stranger stopped for a moment, looking around. He knew where they were, but he didn’t know there was a cafe. The kid was right, though. Maybe he should be questioning the stranger, and not the other way around. He flicked his hood back, looking the kid over with attentive eyes before touching his wrist carefully, like a glass doll as he tried to get a look at the bracelet, clearly a medical ID, that he wore. This was probably a common occurrence, then. Name. He needed a name. “Ajax… Right?” The human nodded, smiling sheepishly up at the stranger. He had tan skin, too, dotted with freckles all over his cheeks. “Uh… My name’s Noah. I'm… I’m not a doctor, but I know how to deal with a seizure… I’m, uh… I’m epileptic, too.” He gave him a bit of an awkward, crooked smile. It was an odd thing to bring up, or bond over, but it was nice to know that whoever was taking care of you knew what was happening from experience, he supposed. Ajax nodded, his eyes shifting down to his lap, then back up to Noah. Catlike ears sat atop his head. He was one of the inhuman. A Nexonian. They were the kind that… well… owned the place, really. It was their city. Noah let go of Ajax’s wrist, resting his hands on the ground in preparation to push himself up. “Hey, do you think you’re okay to move? We should get you… Home, I guess? You live right around here, yeah?” Ajax nodded again. Noah smiled. “Alright… Lemme get myself up. Last thing I want to do is fall on top of you because I got down on the ground.” He chuckled sheepishly, pushing himself up with his arms and rising slowly, wincing at the painful cracking in his knees. Once he was sure he was steady, he held a hand out to Ajax, bending forward a little. He really should have gone about it a different way, but thank the gods, Ajax was light. Pulling him to his feet, Noah took a few steps back, then came to his side as he rose, wrapping an arm around his back. He still seemed unsteady, but it was perhaps too much to carry him.

Taking a slow step forward, Ajax followed suit, and soon they had begun their short walk to Ajax’s apartment. It took some directions from the human, but someone who could figure out robots had no issue taking directions on how to get to a place maybe a block or two away. The hardest part were the stairs— The bane of Noah’s existence and the most difficult thing to try and deal with when you had only just come out of a seizure… At least, that didn’t involve machines. Taking extremely cautious steps, Noah held onto Ajax almost like his life depended on it as the human descended just after him. It was only a small set of stairs, just a few feet before they were in the hall in front of his apartment. Ajax gingerly tapped Noah’s hand with his lanyard, letting the inhuman take the keys and unlock the door before handing them back. Noah surveyed the room before he decided to settle on the couch as a good place to set Ajax down. Guiding him over, he set him down, looking around. It was a nice apartment. Clearly, someone else lived with him, but they didn’t seem to be here. Noah could easily sniff out their presence, but his first hint, more apparent to even humans, was the fact that… Well, Ajax didn’t seem to be the kind to play video games. Or watch horror movies. Noah didn’t take Ajax for the kind to watch many movies at all, but… Perhaps he’d have to find out later. “Hey, uh… Do you want a drink or something? Or something to eat? I don’t know what you have, but… Stay there, I’ll get something.” He finally let his hand leave Ajax’s shoulder as he shifted his attention to the kitchen, deciding to fill a glass with water and grab something light. A pack of crackers. Good enough. He returned to the living room with both in hand, sitting next to Ajax and handing over the glass first. He watched as Ajax took only a few sips of it before handing it back, Noah setting it on the coffee table in a spot not covered in papers and computers. By the looks of it, Ajax… or at least his roommate, Noah assumed, was a college student. Handing over the crackers, Noah decided to make small talk. “So… Uh… Do you go to college around here?” Ajax nodded, biting into a cracker. “Yeah, how’d you know?” Noah chuckled sheepishly. “It’s all over the papers on the table. What are you studying?” Ajax smiled a little. He seemed to like being asked so many questions. “Graphic design. I can’t really do normal work, but… Uh… I was thinking I could do something like that, I guess? And, it's… Uh… It’s kinda nice to go to class, I think. If I can’t really work normally, it’s fun to still do something.” Noah nodded. He wasn’t one to judge a book by its cover, but he didn’t think Ajax was that sick, upon first glance. “What do you do?” He smiled up at Noah. There was a good foot and a half difference between the two in height. “Me? Oh, uh…” Noah paused. He could say many things, but he didn’t want to just start with “I’m royalty”. He coughed. “I… I’m an engineer. I build and design stuff like robots and computers, and… I go out adventuring with my friend sometimes… Mercenary work.” He smiled. Ajax smiled, too, though with a hint of sadness. “That sounds like fun. I wanted to learn fire magic and be a mercenary, but… I don’t think it’ll happen.” He rubbed the back of his neck and smiled sheepishly. Noah couldn’t help but feel a bit of sympathy. If it weren’t for the gods and their magic… He wouldn’t even be alive, let alone running about and swinging swords around. He shrugged. “It's… It’s fun. It’s exhausting, but… It’s fun. I honestly wouldn’t be able to do it without magic to help me.” He looked down to Ajax. His ear twitched, the sound of heavy footsteps coming down the steps outside of the door. Was Ajax’s roommate an elephant or was that a neighbor? Ajax smiled again. “You know magic? How’d you learn it?” Noah gave another sheepish smile. He probably sounded like a complete lunatic. “I learned it from the gods. My family’s patron is the wind god, he… Uh… He made sure I stayed alive, and he taught me some magic, starting when I was… Eight? Ten? Old enough that I was out of the hospital most of the time.” He smiles a little. It was nice to talk to someone that wasn’t automatically afraid for him or trying to pity him when he mentioned how he’d been in the hospital. His ears twitched again, turning as the door opened.

The heavy footsteps were from a very clearly heavy person. Ajax’s roommate was another inhuman. She clearly had to be some form of demon, standing at eight feet tall, Noah guessed, and clearly made of mostly muscle. Her skin was a frosty blue color and her hair many different colors, ivory horns poking out from the rather fluffy mess. She looked at Ajax, then Noah, hanging her keys on a hook next to the door. “Jax, who’s this?” She laid her backpack by the door, standing on the other side of the table. Noah would have been terrified if he were any normal person. Ajax smiled, leaning forward. “Oh, this is Noah! He… Uh…” He smiled sheepishly. “He helped me get back after I had a seizure…” Her expression, harsh before, softened, now concerned. “You had a seizure? When? You should have called me.” She ducked into the kitchen for a moment, getting herself a glass of water, too. Ajax’s eyes sank to the table, trying to avoid her look. He didn’t like to worry her. “Uh… I got up..  ten minutes ago?” Noah nodded. “Yeah, it’s been… Twenty minutes at the most.” She nodded, sighing and looking between the two. She didn’t like strangers in the house, but damnit, Ajax clearly already liked the guy. “Mh… Uh…” She let her gaze rest upon Noah. “ Thanks, I guess. I don’t think either of us expected Ajax to have a seizure.” Ajax nodded, silent as he pushed another cracker into his mouth. Noah smiled. “Yeah, of course… I’d want someone to do the same for me.” He cleared his throat. “Uh… I should get back soon, but… Here,” Noah pulled a pen from his pocket, scribbling his number onto a scrap of paper. “Give me a call later and tell me how you’re feeling, okay? It was… It was nice talking to you, Ajax.” He handed over then paper with a smile. Ajax grinned, his expression much like a puppy. “You, too! I’ll make sure to call you later.” He kept the paper in his hand. “Uh… I guess I’ll see you around?” He watched as Noah stood up. He didn’t want him to go, but he didn’t want Kho to be uncomfortable with someone she didn’t know in the house. Noah nodded. “Yeah, I’ll see you around. I live around here,too, so… We’ll probably run into each other.” He smiled, approaching the door and giving a slight wave. Ajax waved back at him, watching as he shut the door and disappeared. Even if a seizure could ruin a day, maybe this was the rare occasion where it made the day instead? He definitely thought so, but in either case, he still desperately needed to get some sleep after that.

[punkscowardschampions]

Saint & Leilani

Saint: How's it going? 🙂 Leilani: it's going as expected Saint: I know how to answer questions without saying anything, remember Saint: you can't fool me Leilani: I was relying on the 😇 thing to do being you pretending you believed me Saint: You'd think so, but the issue lies in if that would require me to leave you in discomfort Saint: which would be nothing but the worst manners Saint: okay, what's one thing that's been okay and what's one thing that I could help make a bit better? Leilani: the kids are extremely adorable in their costumes, I'm in support of that Leilani: & how many of the grown ups decided to go in on this too Leilani: but maybe I was hoping you were that kind of big brother & your other sisters & brothers weren't as young as they are Saint: The majority love an event, that's true Saint: I don't know if it's a genetic thing or a cultural, but it's always been like this Saint: I'm sure the twins would have you know they're very mature for their age Saint: 🤔 how about I introduce you to Mattie? Saint: She's about your age Leilani: 😅 yeah I'm considering taking one of them with me since you already made the offer Leilani: she's Jay's sister, right? Saint: Correct Saint: she's similarly more chilled out too Saint: maybe less adorable than the kids but she shouldn't object to hanging out, kidnap might be a step too far tonight but Leilani: I don't know, it's a good costume, some people would still say adorable Saint: 😅 Saint: a good opener Leilani: thanks, I'll use it Saint: 👍 have fun Saint: let me know what you think, and if I need to get my wings into gear and do more Leilani: [pretend she's been chatting to her for ages because I feel like they'd get on, soz she don't go to your school hun] Leilani: I am now so I guess your wings won't be falling off Saint: [always the way, at least you will have an ally at these functions] Saint: 😁😁😁 Leilani: take a 🍭 Saint: 😏 More counterintuitive than the sticker ⭐ Saint: definitely finding you a new dream before you wreck the 🦷 of every kid in Dublin just to fix them again Saint: very 😈 of you Leilani: 😅😅 Leilani: maybe I'll become a vet if Grace agrees to the 🐱 Saint: What about the 🩸? Saint: though you seem to cope with the fake Leilani: oh yeah.... Leilani: I was only thinking about the 😁 parts again Saint: I do hate to be the 🌧 on your parade... Saint: it's pretty adorable how 🌤 you are Leilani: but you do need to step in there before I fully commit & get genuinely 🩸 splattered Saint: I can promise that without feeling I'm giving you unfair expectations Leilani: it'd be awkward if you had to take that costume off on account of being 😈 Saint: it really would Saint: the feathers aren't leaving much to the imagination as is 😬 Saint: no one wants that Leilani: you're not 👶🏽 enough to be running around without clothes Saint: Ahh Saint: so tough being the oldest Saint: suppose I should leave some 🍭 🍬 🍫 for the kids too? Leilani: I can't promise to fix your 🦷 either way Saint: I'll make sure to brush well tonight when I'm defeathering in the privacy of my own room Saint: I like your ears, by the way Leilani: I'll resist the urge to come & watch over you since you're the one who can fly & I'll never be a qualified dentist Leilani: thanks, I keep forgetting they're there so for a moment that was an unusual compliment Saint: I'll send you a picture if you like Saint: for evidence Saint: I'm sure your real ears are lovely too 😂 Leilani: what am I supposed to send you a picture back of, in line with you wanting to work for the government? Leilani: like, I could salute but that's getting into a weird girl guide territory Leilani: & I've never been camping Saint: Oh dear Saint: the less pictures I have of underage girls the better, I think Saint: too young for the scandal yet but best to start as I mean to go on Saint: my family aren't big campers, if you can believe it Saint: but I've been with my grandma, and for this young leaders thing I did last year Leilani: I probably shouldn't fill my phone with pictures of older boy's dazzling teeth either, my mum is very overprotective Leilani: was, I mean Leilani: maybe she'd come back & haunt me Saint: Potentially Saint: though I can try to assure her and you my teeth are not at all predatory, this might not come across as sincere with my pearly whites 😁😬 Leilani: if your teeth are harmless, you might need a dentist sooner than I could become one Saint: 🧛 gotcha Saint: okay, so not harmless, but your neck is safe Leilani: why do they bite their victims somewhere literally everyone can see? Leilani: I'd be more secretive if my goal was to live undetected forever in some moody castle Saint: You can cross vampire off your list too, you're clearly overqualified Saint: I think it's about that sweet, sweet jugular vein but there's plenty of others that are less of a Saint: 'look what I did' Leilani: maybe whoever wrote the 1st 🧛📕 didn't want to commit to going under the clothes Leilani: it was racy stuff already Saint: also potential code for same-sex relationships? Saint: but what wasn't 😅 Leilani: is Dracula gay? Leilani: good for him Saint: I think so? Saint: Unless I'm confusing my classics Leilani: I haven't read it before & I feel like if I do now everyone will think I'm going goth Saint: Not an impression you want to make? Leilani: not really Leilani: 🌤  > 🌧 Saint: we'll keep it secret or off the reading list Leilani: first rule of our new book club? okay Saint: You can think of the 2nd Leilani: there has to be some kind of limit on length, War & Peace is too heavy in every way Saint: which brings us nicely to rule number three then Saint: no Russian literature Leilani: 😅 Saint: but I'll leave it with the rules for now, this is a party after-all Saint: would you like a drink? Leilani: what can you offer me that's 🧃? Saint: [so the pub, 'cos always the pub, probably doesn't have sassy mocktails 'cos not the vibe but he can go make her one] Saint: any major allergies or dislikes I need to know? Leilani: no Leilani: you've got total freedom Saint: I like the sound of that Leilani: what are you drinking? Saint: [probably red wine, you seem the type, not getting crunk] Saint: 🍷 Saint: 🧛 of me Leilani: if you're coming out to me atm you have my unconditional love & support Saint: 😅 Saint: Thank you Saint: unnecessary but appreciated Leilani: oh then you want to do the most with the teeth cleaning for the pics you're sending later Leilani: I'm not 😤 Saint: As much as the before and after would be impressive Saint: you might feel a bit 🤢 Leilani: I've set myself up as way too squeamish here, I don't like the sound of that Leilani: I'm not like 🥀 Saint: it's your story to tell Saint: though I wouldn't accuse you of being a wilting wallflower type, for the record Leilani: please don't accuse me of anything on the record 😅 I'm not a Lolita type either Leilani: I haven't even had a boyfriend yet Saint: I think painting myself as that unreliable of a narrator would really undermine my public persona and the trust I aim to inspire Saint: is that purely because of having a protective mum or did your own thoughts and feelings come into that too? Saint: plus, technically, Nabokov was Russian, I don't know if we can read it? 🤔 Leilani: the behaviour of many boys my age came into it too Leilani: but maybe they'll be different at this school, your sister did say we're uncultured at my old one Saint: I can see that Saint: When did she say that? Leilani: 💬📱 Saint: 😕 Oh Saint: she can be quite Saint: blunt Leilani: it's okay, I know Saint: She doesn't always think before she speaks, which is definitely a bad habit Saint: but I'm sure she didn't mean that to sound so...that Leilani: I'm sure she put more than enough thought into everything she said Saint: I'm sorry Saint: I would talk to her, see why you got off on the wrong foot but I'm not so out of touch to not realize that would potentially do more harm than good Saint: I think she's insecure, for context, she didn't get into the school she wanted to go to Leilani: I know why, but I'm not sure I would've been able to approach it differently, even if I should've Saint: Is it strictly girl's business? Leilani: what does that even mean, St? 🤔 Saint: Well Saint: code for none of my business perhaps Saint: in this instance, at least Leilani: it's not becos you're a boy, it's becos you're her brother Saint: Okay Saint: if it helps, I know how she can be, and it's not because of you, it's a her thing Leilani: it doesn't help but that's more becos you tried to tell me how she could be & I rose to it anyway Saint: I could've been clearer Saint: I didn't want to seem like I was insinuating you couldn't talk to her, or something like that Saint: and I don't want to talk badly about anyone, even if it is at times warranted, she's not, you know Saint: 👿 Leilani: I found out for myself, that's the fairest way Leilani: & I'm sure I overreacted once I was 😤 Saint: I know it would make this easier, if you were to get on Saint: but just know you're under no obligation to Saint: with any of us Saint: if nothing else, I can assure she'll give you a wide berth if she has nothing pleasant to say Leilani: maybe we will in the 2nd attempt Leilani: my moods are all over Saint: Now that is girl stuff, correct? 😏 Saint: it's very possible Leilani: that's getting into weird 🧛 territory Leilani: I meant becos I'm 💣💥 by grief not being a girl Saint: Joke in poor taste at the expense of your hormones Saint: 🤐 Leilani: becos I'm a girl is never an excuse for anything, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie I have read some of Saint: My sincerest apologies Saint: you'll have to educate me Leilani: thank god for book club Leilani: you're fine though, losing my mum isn't an excuse either according to your sister Saint: She really said that? Leilani: yeah but she's just the 1st, I don't think she'll be the only Saint: But that's just Saint: bullshit Leilani: she doesn't think so, she built an entire argument around it Saint: even if you were using it as an excuse, which I see no evidence of Saint: it's a pretty valid one Saint: and it's just so Saint: callous to even suggest that, never mind assert it Leilani: it's about her, I dared to say she shouldn't make fun of Grace & by extension treat all of you badly Saint: That is a sensitive topic for her Saint: but still Saint: THAT is no excuse to behave like that Leilani: she's been looking at me like she's got every reason to be 😤 Leilani: 🙏 we're not face to face 🗨 Saint: I'll distract her Leilani: 😇 Saint: [do so boy, soz to you lol, sure she's being a delight] Leilani: [do the salute you're not gonna send him a picture of lol] Saint: [casually meet eyes over this party moment] Leilani: [what a #mood] Saint: [honestly Venus can leave early anyway we all know why you're here and you probably have somewhere else to be hoeing it up] Leilani: [yeah exactly, as much as I hate that you're like this, we know it's real] Leilani: thanks Saint: no problem Saint: I learnt not to bite a long time ago 🎣 Saint: not that that's on you, but you know what I mean, diplomacy is my friend Leilani: does she know she's helping you in your career goals? Saint: I have to assume not Saint: unless she thinks I need a running mate 😨😅 Leilani: in that costume, it'd be a stretch to 💭 that Saint: Don't even get me started on that Leilani: if you don't want to drop your workout secrets that's your choice Saint: Oh no, I was talking about hers, sorry Saint: she's really gone with the Elle Woods thing...which is just a bit strange Saint: dad's a lawyer so Saint: yeah Leilani: oh... Leilani: an extra dimension has been added Leilani: I thought she was going with Regina George Saint: easy mistake to make Saint: sure she'd say as much if I said anything Leilani: she'd say worse about both of ours probably Saint: she got her 🎁 she should be in a good mood now Leilani: why is she getting 🎁 on your dad's birthday? Saint: Right, you're an only child Saint: when you're little, and you went to birthday parties, did you ever get mad that you weren't getting any gifts or attention? Saint: it's that Leilani: I can't relate Saint: What did you and your mum do for your birthdays as a kid? Leilani: she liked to throw me a party, on theme for whatever I was super into that year Leilani: smaller scale than this but all my friends would be there Saint: Sounds like a good time Leilani: it was Leilani: what did you do? Saint: My birthday is Christmas day Saint: 💔 Leilani: I'm sorry Saint: 😅 It's not really that bad Saint: it would be if you minded Saint: but I still get presents and to see all the family so Leilani: I still feel like I should buy you a 🎁 in the summer Saint: that's when I'd have parties with friends as a kid Leilani: you don't have those parties any more? Saint: Not really my scene now Saint: I'm alright with Vee claiming that kind of attention Saint: I usually get dinner with friends as close to my birthday as we can without all the office parties being out in full force Leilani: 🍷 Leilani: very you Saint: Is that my branding? Leilani: would you like a rebrand? Saint: I'm not 😤 Saint: just curious about your 💭 Leilani: it's very blood of christ 😇🙏 Leilani: so fitting Saint: That wine is very bad though Saint: 😝 Leilani: maybe they don't want to promote 🧛 Leilani: if you drank my blood it probably wouldn't taste nice Saint: Why not? Saint: Not admitting a desire to do so with that Leilani: I don't know becos it's 🩸? Saint: 😂 Saint: Fair point Saint: just wanted to see how you'd put me off yours specifically Leilani: we'd circle back to me being underage Saint: do you think vampires ask for identification first? Leilani: no, but in this case you know how old I am Saint: I'm not going to suck your blood Saint: you have my word Saint: and I invited your here, sort of Saint: you'd have to invite me in Leilani: ignoring that being what someone who was about to drain me would say, you must've been to Grace's house before Saint: Probably? Saint: not as if I'd have much call to be there though Leilani: I'm honoured that you're looking for an invite now Saint: I never said that Leilani: 🤔 Saint: I said you would have to invite me over if I were to go all 🧛 Saint: so you're perfectly safe here and now Leilani: [giving him a look like okay boy] Saint: [little lol like okay fair enough] Leilani: [a smile back, excuse us everyone] Saint: [i'm like who a nosy hoe here 'cos I'd be 👀] Leilani: [well Astrid would just say it and we know she's there LOL] Saint: [truuu but she is an innocent soul so she probably just thinks he's being more friendly than his face usually suggests lol] Leilani: [I like to think the twins know what's up, they're sassy] Saint: [be those cheeky children who embarrass you] Leilani: [definitely & Matilda is probably 👀 on this vibe] Saint: [is cute] Leilani: [love that you're being less serious rn sir] Saint: [it's out of character enough to be a Thing™ like he's not a dick but he doesn't have to go this hard for anyone in the fam like protection, caring mode obvs so it'd be like oh hey] Leilani: [enjoy that fam, I know some of you adults are nosy hoes] Saint: [lol the goss, god bless] Leilani: what did you put in this drink? Saint: What? Saint: Nothing? Leilani: no, I mean like ingredients Leilani: it's nice Saint: Oh Saint: [whatever sassy concoction we've made 'cos you'd have that knowledge even if you don't party that hard 'cos Ruster kid] Leilani: 😄 Saint: you like it? Leilani: it's delicious Saint: 😁👍 Saint: Do I get a sticker now? Leilani: yeah Leilani: & more 🍭🍬🍫 Saint: the kids are gonna hate me Saint: better share or get mobbed Leilani: I could just invite you over to eat what the trick or treaters didn't before we got here, you know Leilani: keep you 😇 Saint: You really want to secure my spot in heaven Saint: My acceptance would hugely depend on what 🍭🍬🍫 was on offer Leilani: [the list of everything Grace bought and we know she's extra so] Leilani: so you see, I'm thinking of my own 😁 Saint: Did she expect the whole of town to show up or? Saint: I better intervene before you look like a 👶/👵 depending on how you think about it Leilani: 😅😅 Leilani: I think she's expecting me to eat my feelings Saint: Nice to have the option Saint: perhaps not at the detriment to your 🦷 or 🩸 sugar though Leilani: we'll pretend midnight snacks don't count Saint: No calories after midnight, everyone knows that Leilani: the later it gets, the less there are? Leilani: becos we'll definitely still be here later than that Saint: Might even get to breakfast Saint: what would you have then if calories didn't exist? Leilani: for breakfast? Saint: Yes Leilani: 🥞🍨🍓🍫🍒 Saint: Well that just sounds 😇😇🤤 Saint: Perhaps we can go make that happen when we finally leave Saint: or will Grace object, take on that protective role fully Leilani: taking advantage of her fear of overstepping isn't very 😇 but it is honest Leilani: & this isn't a date date Saint: Not my intention, though if you think that would be a direct impact then perhaps we shouldn't Leilani: it's okay, it's just breakfast Leilani: the calories don't even count so it can't hurt Saint: It is Saint: I wouldn't want anyone to think differently Leilani: start as you mean to go on, I recall it Saint: I mean Saint: that wouldn't be right, would it Leilani: if people think something else is happening to what is, it's easy enough to set them straight Saint: Why would they even think that Leilani: retro 💭 Leilani: you can't spend time with anyone of the opposite sex unless they're interested in the same or you're interested in them Saint: It's just ridiculous Leilani: yeah, but you are 😇 & the fittest so I can't blame people for thinking I would be Saint: I assume people would think that's the last thing on your mind Saint: but maybe I'm giving too much credit Saint: most conversations seem to end up back to when am I going to get another girlfriend Leilani: that joke you made about my girly hormones works for my age too Leilani: especially becos I haven't had a boyfriend Saint: 🙄 Saint: It isn't the be-all-end-all Saint: trust me Leilani: not a classics 📚 way of thinking Leilani: if this was Russian Lit you'd die for her Saint: that's why their particular brand of melodrama is banned Saint: and 'she' doesn't currently exist, as I said, unless you'd like me to pledge my undying, unwavering love to the idea of women in general Saint: I can knock up a speech now Leilani: sounds like fun Leilani: go ahead Saint: 😅 Leilani: not the answer you wanted? Leilani: if you offer me a speech, I'm gonna say yes Saint: I need some time to write it Saint: I also need to find a pen Leilani: [hands him a pen in a sassy manner because she would have a handbag with this outfit] Saint: [the ultimate cliche of lingering when you take something lol] Leilani: [when you can't keep the sass up cos you gotta smile at him again like...I love to think about everyone watching this] Saint: [obviously we're smiling back and being all bashful like gotta go find some paper] Leilani: [looking in that handbag for something he could write on but there's nothing because she's not that hoe carrying everything but the kitchen sink so a cute 🤷🏾 like soz] Saint: [go find a napkin to write this speech about love and womens on then find her and give it to her and hope no one else reads it 'cos that is pure flirtation if I ever saw it] Leilani: [we're keeping that napkin hens & soz Matty even though we BFFs you're not reading it luv] Leilani: okay, I'd vote for you 🗳 Saint: [not explaining that inside joke hun we have no time sorry] Saint: That's all I really wanted from you, naturally Saint: 😈 Leilani: I'm naturally powerless to do anything but swoon, we've gone full classics now Leilani: you got what you really wanted there Saint: Having you powerless to my every whim and will sounds like another genre than classic to me Saint: unless you'd like to state your case for 50 Shades Leilani: 😅 I need to read it 1st Leilani: so thanks if you're choosing it for book club Saint: Top of my reading list, I just needed the excuse 😏 Leilani: isn't there like a whole series? Leilani: you'd know Saint: I officially decline to add that to my brand, thank you Leilani: I get why, you're angry she wrote out the vampires, obviously Saint: Precisely Saint: What kind of discrimination... Leilani: [a lil irl lol like peeps aren't getting enough of a show with this] Saint: [😍] Leilani: [I hope you're re-reading that napkin or talking to your bff right then cos if you see them 😍 you'll die] Saint: Who's costume do you think would win? Leilani: your dad's Leilani: the birthday boy has to win Saint: just because it's his birthday or Leilani: yeah, Grace's is the best Leilani: I chose it for her Saint: 😅 If you do say so yourself then Leilani: if you're arguing it's becos you want me to hype up yours more Leilani: she looks amazing Saint: I'm simply saying on your 2nd go you and Vee should get on like a house on fire Leilani: 😧 Saint: It's not a bad thing Leilani: 🤔 Leilani: okay, who do you think should win? Saint: You have things in common, is the point Saint: I don't know, the kids are probably the most imaginative Leilani: what things? Saint: 💅💄👗 and thinking you're very good at them Leilani: I think I did a good job at picking her specific outfit tonight Leilani: you don't have to say it like it's a bad thing Saint: I didn't Saint: I specifically said it wasn't Leilani: sure Saint: I'm sorry if that's how you took it Leilani: I'm sorry if that's what I look like to you Saint: What, interested in how they present themselves? Saint: I don't see why you'd apologize for that Leilani: up themselves Saint: I didn't say that Leilani: I don't know how else you expect me to take thinking I'm very good at something Leilani: you didn't even say I was very good at it Saint: Does it matter what I think? Leilani: not if it's that I have an ego the size of your sister's Saint: I meant it as a good thing Saint: I don't know what else to tell you Leilani: I don't know what else to tell you other than that's not how I took it Saint: And I said sorry so that's that Leilani: yeah Saint: Don't think about it, it really didn't mean anything Leilani: I won't cause a big scene about it either way Saint: Just enjoy your evening, okay Leilani: I am Saint: Good 🙂 Saint: that's all anyone wants Leilani: I didn't mean to get all 💣💥 it just upset me, what she said Leilani: so you saying we're alike isn't something I want to hear atm Saint: I understand Saint: that's fine, it was the wrong thing to say Leilani: it isn't fine, she's the one who got to me, not you Leilani: I'm sorry Saint: I was insensitive Saint: I just don't like conflict Saint: but it can't always be straightened out so easily Leilani: I will have a 2nd go when I see her at school Leilani: maybe it'll get straightened out Saint: How are you feeling, about school? Leilani: stressed Saint: I bet Saint: it'd be weird if you weren't Saint: but you seem to be good at making friends so you'll be okay Leilani: but that was before, now I'm not gonna know if they feel sorry for me Leilani: or think they have to be nice to me Saint: Do people have to know? Saint: You need a story why you've moved school, but it doesn't strictly have to be the full truth, or the truth at all Leilani: Venus knows, I'm not having her catch me in a lie Leilani: anyway, it's what happened Leilani: I can't escape it by lying Saint: Fair enough Saint: it is the best policy, after-all Leilani: it wouldn't be fair to my mum to change the story, she can't Saint: That makes sense Saint: disrespectful Saint: well, I think, however unfortunately, that people's sympathy only extends so far Saint: you might lose some, but you will find out who your real friends are with time Leilani: there's that word again Leilani: time Saint: I think it's pretty unavoidable Saint: it sounds worse than usual Saint: but people you think are your friends can turn around and not me Saint: for any reasons, it isn't that this is happening, or going to happen just because of your mum Saint: you know? Saint: It doesn't sound comforting, it isn't Leilani: it is a little bit Saint: People are flaky Saint: you just notice when you could use some of them to not be Leilani: who hurt you? other than the girls you're unwilling to die for, I mean Saint: What? Saint: No, no one Leilani: your friends haven't? Saint: I'm fine 🙂 Leilani: I don't believe in 🙂 Leilani: give me a real one 😁 Saint: [IRL 🙂] Leilani: [IRL 😁] Saint: [looking awayayayay] Leilani: [getting him another 🍷 because you are soz you kicked off] Saint: [just like 'who served you?' 😏 bants 'cos he's not even old enough yet either] Leilani: [we just loling because this is a fam function and everyone knows it's for him but asking if she can try it, to which I say don't do it gal wine is gross] Saint: [offering it but warning her it's an acquired taste 'cos truly] Leilani: [taking a sip and her face would be ICONIC because ew, just don't spit it back into his glass babe] Saint: [loling and asking if she wants another mocktail instead] Leilani: [a hard yes because need that taste out of our mouth] Saint: [go get that boy] Leilani: you should've written a speech about why you like drinking 🍷 Saint: A toast would be more fitting Leilani: shorter & easier too Saint: and more warmly received Saint: especially by this crowd Leilani: 😅 Leilani: [gives him the pen back like there you go then] Saint: [swap that for her drink and get to 🤔] Leilani: [take a sip so he can see your happy face when you taste it compared to a second ago] Saint: How am I meant to argue with that? Leilani: I'm not doing your work for you, St Saint: 🥺😏 Leilani: maybe you could compare it to a girl, that was a very good speech Leilani: [re-reads it] Saint: Acidic...bitter...goes straight to your head and stays there 'til the next day Leilani: disgusting, leaves a horrible taste in your mouth Leilani: makes you say things you maybe don't mean Saint: might get half the room to raise their glasses Saint: if they're feeling brave Leilani: if they're feeling 💔 Saint: Yes, that too Leilani: there must be some reasons why you drink it, other than frustrated vampirism Saint: the 💔 obviously Leilani: you said you were 🙂 fine Saint: Philosophical 💔💭 Leilani: what does that mean? Saint: I'm just theorizing on it Saint: no personal experience worth noting Leilani: ... Saint: We don't need to bring the party down with my non-issues Leilani: no announcements, just me Saint: Alright Saint: but only because you don't want to be treated different, not because I think it's important or a big deal or anything at all Saint: I did have a girlfriend, 'til quite recently Saint: but no one here knows that she cheated on me, and that's why I ended things Saint: with one of my friends Leilani: how 🍷 of her Leilani: are they together now? Saint: I'm not sure Saint: Guess I'll see at School Leilani: how long were you with her? Saint: About 2 months shy of a year Leilani: that's horrible, that she didn't end it properly Saint: Yeah Saint: we were really alike Saint: I thought Leilani: we're both dreading school, I wish that was more comforting Saint: I don't want to complain, like it's anywhere near the same Leilani: it doesn't have to be the same to be something we can talk about Saint: I know Saint: it's just Saint: I already feel stupid without complaining to you Leilani: she did something stupid, you don't have to feel like that Saint: I do though, we're a close group Saint: they're both in all my classes pretty much Saint: then I think that the rest of them had to know Saint: so, what does that mean for all of those relationships too Leilani: you won't know what it means until you know whether they were keeping it from you or not Leilani: but you get to decide what happens next with those friendships either way Saint: People pick sides, and even if they already haven't Saint: it won't be the same Leilani: maybe it shouldn't Leilani: if they've picked his side or hers, you deserve different than that Saint: It's my last year Saint: bit late for all that anyway Leilani: if you go into it with that attitude, yeah Leilani: you wouldn't say it's too late for me Saint: You have time, and reason to make it work Leilani: you too Leilani: we haven't known each other long, claiming you need years is a stretch Saint: This is different Saint: I don't know how to explain it Leilani: join a club with me or something, we'll make new friends together Saint: 😅 What kind of club? Leilani: I don't know Leilani: obviously not the Russian Lit appreciation society Saint: Maybe they'll have an anti-appreciation society Leilani: 😅 it'd be popular & so would we Saint: You will be Leilani: there must be genuine clubs you are interested in 🤔💭 & I'll sign up too Saint: I have lots of extra-curriculars Saint: but there's probably a few left out there I haven't tried Leilani: great Saint: What do you want to do? Saint: Sports, music, etc... Leilani: my only demand is no swimming Saint: The chlorine? Leilani: the cap I'd have to wear Leilani: not cute Saint: 😂 Saint: [and IRL] Leilani: hey! I'm serious Saint: Okay, no swimming Saint: we have a pool anyway Leilani: oh, good idea, throwing a party would be a good way to meet people Leilani: 💅💄👙 instead Saint: Hold on, who said anything about a party Leilani: me Leilani: just then Saint: It's a bit Leilani: ... Saint: You do know my sister lives at my house too, right? Leilani: she told me she's back & forth to Paris, can't we do it when she's 🛫? Saint: Not as much as she wishes Saint: I mean, I suppose you could Saint: long as you don't post it all over socials and trash the place Leilani: we could Leilani: the point is, you're there too Saint: A pool party full of underage girls? Saint: I don't know if that's the right direction to be going in Leilani: the 2nd point is, they won't all be underage or girls Saint: Well as mentioned, I don't exactly have a lot of older boys to invite Leilani: that's why we join a club 1st Saint: How many steps does this plan have then? Leilani: I don't know Leilani: it depends how those go Saint: You're funny Saint: And I don't mean that in any way but the words I'm saying, for the record Leilani: I'll be proud becos your laughter is transformative Leilani: it makes you look & me feel really different Saint: Those are some pretty persuasive words Saint: maybe you should write the speeches Leilani: I'll add speech writer to my vision board when I get back Saint: You could do it for me Saint: if that wasn't such a 🥱 prospect Leilani: I think it could be fun Leilani: but what's my cut? Saint: Paying staff is part of a MPs fabled expenses Saint: we can make that wage up as we go along Saint: as long as people don't think I'm favouring you for any reason beyond your 🖋🗯 Leilani: [bats her eyelashes at him in an OTT manner like who would ever think that] Leilani: 😅😅 Saint: [😏] Saint: you'd get to live in London, if you wanted Leilani: who wouldn't want to live in London? Saint: It certainly has its charms Leilani: 🛍🌃💃 Saint: Those are some Leilani: add yours then Saint: 🏛 🛥 ⛪️🚇 🕌 🚖 🕍 🎭 ☕️ 🍷 🍽 Leilani: I was with you until 🍷 Leilani: still, you can show me around before I start work Saint: It's a deal Saint: maybe you'll like white, or rose Leilani: let's see Leilani: [goes off to get wine like] Saint: It takes time Saint: to acquire the taste Leilani: to kill your tastebuds Leilani: [imagine the scene of her with a glass of wine in each hand taking a sip from each and making different but as ICONIC faces of disgust, we're giving them to Matty, fill your boots gal] Saint: How many 👎s? Leilani: as many as poss Saint: 😅😅 Saint: Stick to juice Saint: apart from being bad for your 😁 and the possibility of a sugar high Saint: better option all 'round providing you brush Leilani: is this where you ask for photographic proof back? Saint: 🤔 Saint: I think I trust your dedication to pearly whites Leilani: thanks Saint: You seem...disappointed? Leilani: do I? Leilani: trust is nice, I'm not 😤 Saint: Good Saint: you can send me evidence if you want Saint: maybe your breakfast 'gram, if it lives up to the expectations Leilani: aren't you gonna be there? Saint: Didn't we decide that might not be a good idea right now Leilani: I've only had 3 sips of wine & I don't remember agreeing so Leilani: no? Saint: I don't want my eyes scratched out 💅 Saint: you did a good job on the 😱 factor on her Leilani: I don't have my 🐱 yet Leilani: you can be scared then Saint: You are a 🐱 Saint: so had I better come or else Leilani: if we share the 🥞 you'll be helping curb my chances of a sugar rush & cavities Saint: So that's the for argument Leilani: yeah & I'll keep being funny Saint: You're meant to do against now 😏 Leilani: 🤔 Leilani: the risk of your own sugar rush & cavities Saint: 😂 Saint: I would hate for you to think I'm scared of a little sugar Leilani: 🧄 & 🌤 right? Leilani: or maybe underage girls & unreliable narrators Saint: I'm the unreliable narrator underage girls are scared of Saint: except I'm not, obviously Saint: I'll take vampire rumours over that any day Leilani: at least that means you won't take some other girl for breakfast on the morning of my 16th birthday Saint: That would be very cinematic Saint: but also very rude Leilani: 💔😿 Saint: You'll have to tell me when it is so I can keep it free, avoid the 👿 Leilani: [her birthday whenever we decide that is] Saint: It's in the diary Leilani: 📱 or 📖? Saint: I have both Saint: but I'm not quite that nerdy that I've brought my paper one to a party Leilani: I was just 💔😿 that you borrowed a pen from someone else Saint: Okay, so that's pretty 🤓 Leilani: excuse you, it's not my fault I don't have 20:20 vision Leilani: 🕶🖤 Saint: You aren't that blind or I'd have noticed by now Leilani: I'm wearing contacts Saint: I mean 🕶 is a bit of an exaggeration Leilani: it's a cute emoji, I'm sorry Leilani: & 🤓 is not good teeth representation for me Saint: [actual lol] Saint: Okay, you can have it Leilani: [actual 😍] Leilani: thanks boss Saint: [try not to 😳] Leilani: [use your skin tone to save yourself boy] Saint: wait 'til the tour to decide if you accept Leilani: becos what happens on tour stays on tour or? Saint: depends how much evidence you collect 📸 Leilani: you're the 😇 Saint: Allegedly Leilani: it's your own promo Leilani: meaning you could also convince me you're 😈 Saint: I don't see the benefit in that Leilani: [a LOOK like] Saint: I'm not going to convince you of anything 😈 with just words Leilani: I definitely don't remember making it a words only rule Saint: 🤐🤔 Leilani: ... Saint: [miming both again but we're smiling] Leilani: would you like to dance? in classic 📚 it's totally scandalous Saint: As long as we leave appropriate room for God Leilani: I think if I was fully playing by my god's rules you'd have to be in the next room Leilani: & I'd be wearing 🧕🏾 instead of ears Saint: That would make your outfit very confusing Leilani: this outfit is too tight to be islam approved Saint: [show up to dance like lemme take a closer look] Leilani: [we're having a moment & all I can think about is Grace peeping] Saint: [peeping in a costume which just makes it more amusing some reason] Leilani: [it's happening but I am gonna cockblock this before it goes too hard by saying she starts crying because she can't wait to tell her mum about this & realises she can't #beentheregal] Saint: [oh baby] Leilani: [so then we embarrassed & have to go outside cos there's always peeps in the toilets at any party/fam function] Saint: [at least as Grace is peeping she can follow you and deal 'cos we're gonna assume that isn't what you want him to do] Leilani: [when you wanna go home because mortified especially since he hasn't followed so you think he's mortified but you also don't because you were and are having fun which is the whole reason we cried like #ohjoy thank god Venus is not here] Saint: [we're in actuality worried like oh we shouldn't have done that/any of this lowkey] Leilani: [lowkey outside for ages until Grace is probably freezing to death so we're back but NOT looking at him because dying] Saint: [the awks, go make yourself busy boy] Leilani: [when you're avoiding him but you don't want him to avoid you] Saint: [a mood, at least it is your dad's bday so you can make it look not blatant] Leilani: [maybe this is a good place to end the convo, like it's rude to them but legit] Saint: [agreed, like, can't really come back from this tonight, you will be going home soon gal and breakfast is not happening today] Leilani: [it'll be a hilarious awks but good starting point for the next convo we do like yeah soz I sobbed on you sir]

[punkscowardschampions]

Bea & Fraze

Bea: What are you going to wear to Ro's birthday? Fraze: Pick whatever you like for this fantasy where I'm going Bea: You have to Bea: you have no excuse not to Fraze: I don't need an excuse now that I'm too big for my ma, or da come to that, to drag me anywhere Fraze: I don't wanna, I don't have to, end of Bea: It's still family regardless of anyone's ability to literally make you Bea: anyway, she needs the numbers Fraze: I don't hear her begging Bea: She's not about to, is she Bea: you know what she's like Fraze: And you know where to find me when you've had enough of what she's like Bea: Well if you must know I don't think I'll bother to come back either then Bea: why should I make any effort Fraze: 'Cause you had a solid enough argument there with the family obligation bullshit, even if you lost it with the part about keeping numbers up Bea: Joe isn't coming, you aren't Bea: so fuck it, clearly Fraze: She ain't our sister, she's yours Bea: Seriously Fraze: Come on Fraze: I know you didn't expect a different answer Bea: You know literally nothing Bea: How can I lecture her about being part of this family if that's how you feel Bea: and how can I expect her to feel like a part of it if she isn't, apparently, for fuck's sake Fraze: She is with the rest of them, don't start Fraze: How can I act like it's all that black and white when the only thing that is, is how I feel about you? Fraze: we've been over it Bea: You can't pick and choose Bea: that's not how this is meant to work Fraze: Well it's too fucking late Fraze: I already did Bea: Great, so she gets to be right Bea: fantastic, thanks Fraze: What do you want me to do? I can't unlove you Fraze: I have tried, like Bea: Have you? Fraze: What was most of our childhood if not that? Bea: This isn't relevant Bea: I need someone there Fraze: You asked, I gave you an answer Fraze: she's got Ali and Tommy, that other one he used to dance with Bea: Because I can ask any of them what she was like and get an honest answer Bea: there's a divide, you said it Fraze: You'll get a brutally honest answer off ma if that's what you want Bea: I want you to do this one thing for me Fraze: is that as nice as you're gonna ask? Bea: I'm not playing games Bea: I'm not in the mood Fraze: Christ's sake Fraze: alright then Bea: Thanks Fraze: whatever, I'll do it for the pleasure of you owing me Bea: you can check my calendar to cash that in Fraze: give me a chance to check my own first, Red Bea: I assume you have a handle on your own schedule Fraze: I ain't never been able to stop your assumptions Bea: You should be grateful I'm giving you that props Fraze: Oh cheers Bea: You're welcome Fraze: yeah, open arms at this party Bea: I doubt she's got a candle for you Bea: you'll avoid that Fraze: Jesus Bea: Yep Fraze: I ain't going to church, fuck that Bea: I think only Ali is doing that anyway Fraze: gutted she still ain't getting sainted for her patience Bea: Pretty sure you have to be dead for years before they get 'round to it Fraze: Trust you to know that, babe Bea: It's common knowledge Bea: Teresa was an exception Fraze: common knowledge to cunts thinking that far ahead Fraze: let me get to grips with my fucking uni schedule Bea: You gave yourself away Fraze: you wish Bea: I'll take my props away now Bea: You've been back nearly a month Fraze: And I've had fuck all to do, it ain't Cambs Bea: All the more time to work out your schedule Fraze: Worry about your own Bea: I am Fraze: You gave yourself away there Bea: Ha Fraze: you're not in the mood, I heard you the first time Bea: Good Bea: I'll leave you to it then Fraze: Alright Bea: [Skippity skip?] Fraze: [makes sense] Bea: [okay, turn up with ya BFF as a hot ass mess to this stale ass party] Fraze: [he'd be shook and fuming in equal measure, imagine his face please] Bea: [aren't we all tbh like join Ro at that table lol] Fraze: You could've said something Bea: I posted on my stories Fraze: Like I said Bea: It wasn't planned Fraze: And it ain't the longest plane ride but you had enough time to tell me you were coming Fraze: it becomes a plan once you've bought a ticket, like Bea: Hardly, it's not like it sells out, or there isn't one an hour later if it does Bea: we turned up, end of Fraze: You know what I mean Fraze: I turned up here for you, the least you could've done was said I didn't have to Bea: I'm late, so I did need you here Fraze: what's his excuse? Bea: ? Fraze: Why do you need him here? Bea: He suggested I come Bea: I still wasn't sure Fraze: hand holding then Fraze: how sweet Bea: Fuck off Bea: She's my sister, I should be here, regardless of how unwelcome I am or want to be Fraze: gladly Fraze: and yeah, no shit, I told you that Bea: It's not an original concept Bea: is this all the people that showed or have people left? Fraze: I'll be the first out the door Bea: Tragic Fraze: What else did you expect? Bea: She was making such a fuss I thought perhaps she'd put a bit more effort in this time Fraze: only setting yourself up with that kind of thinking, babe Bea: More her problem than mine Fraze: Yours if you care Bea: Whatever you're trying to imply with that is stupid either way Fraze: I'm not implying anything, I said it in a dead straightforward manner Bea: Either that I do or don't care Fraze: I know you care, you wouldn't be here if you didn't Bea: If I cared I would have just showed up Fraze: you have Bea: Not before telling her I wouldn't and having an argument so Fraze: Exactly, you didn't have to and you still did Fraze: she ain't gonna appreciate it and it weren't easy for you in any sense Fraze: so you care and you're fucked by it, end of Bea: Nah Fraze: Yeah Bea: I literally just wanted to piss her off but alright Fraze: that's an added bonus Bea: If you like, Fraze Fraze: it ain't about me Fraze: but you can have pissing me off too if you like Bea: Why would you be pissed off at me Fraze: Think it through like you reckon you ain't fuck all else Bea: You were meant to be here regardless Bea: and now you can go Bea: nothing lost Fraze: it's nothing to do with any of that Bea: I'm not in the mood for guessing games either Bea: tell me or don't Fraze: Forget it Bea: Alright Bea: enjoy the rest of your evening then Fraze: I'll take my odds of that over yours Bea: I'll survive Fraze: I know Fraze: my offer still stands though Bea: I'm just here to see Ro Fraze: You're leaving tomorrow then? Bea: tonight by the looks of this Fraze: Yeah Fraze: I doubt it'll be a late one Bea: Surprised she's still here honestly Fraze: I'm surprised any of this went ahead in the first place Bea: Sure she's been planning it since her last Fraze: don't mean she wouldn't cry off it on the night Bea: You can go tell her you're proud of her if you want Fraze: fuck off Bea: 😏 Fraze: [IRL 😏 at her] Bea: [LOOK back] Fraze: [always gotta return a LOOK] Bea: [but go get a drink with Bronson, obviously] Fraze: [go get your own because you're fuming at that and also I need a reason for you not to leave thank you] Bea: [you can force Tommy to dance with you and dance with Bronson] Fraze: [just like 👀😒 downing this drink haha] Fraze: [we both know he's eventually cutting in though there's only so much looking on either of them can take] Bea: [saying something about not dancing with Fearghal and Rocky yet like wait ya turn but 😏 again] Fraze: [we're having this moment ™ because this party is too dry to deal with] Bea: [you wanna see some romance hen] Fraze: [giving Laoise's brother ideas and the confidence to 💋 with their energy LOL] Bea: [I snorted, oh lord] Fraze: [like we said before, going from that long summer to nothing when they're back at uni would be a killer so the vibe is strong] Bea: [excuse us everyone that'll be awkward to see for you] Fraze: [I hope y'all are busy having your own fun and in Ro's case getting smooched so] Bea: [y'all be trying anyway, God bless] Fraze: [mcvickers having their own dance because they don't wanna be here either, awww] Bea: [das cute] Fraze: [we should've given Laoise a little sister for Rocky to have a childhood romance with, that would've been so cute cos the fams hate each other] Fraze: [maybe there can be a girl at the caravan park cos always there with his bff Carly] Bea: [I like that idea, v cute] Fraze: [look at me getting derailed as per] Bea: [my bubba] Fraze: [go get another drink and calm down a shade please boy] Bea: [you could get away with this extraness if it wasn't such a dry party alas hensss, I should probaby think about what present you're throwing at Ro] Fraze: Do you want me to tell you I'm proud of you then or what? Bea: For what? Fraze: Doing the dance rounds, how well you wrapped that gift, take your pick Bea: I don't think that'll make me feel any better, but you go ahead if it will you Fraze: Nah, not really Bea: Don't bother then Fraze: consider it not done Bea: Then we're all happy Fraze: No need to take the bullshit that far Bea: That's what her happy face looks like Fraze: Christ Bea: Told you it was tragic Fraze: I didn't dispute it Bea: Do you know the neighbour kids name? Fraze: Is that a trick question? Bea: Um, no Bea: I want to look him up Fraze: 'Course I fucking don't Bea: 🙄 you're so helpful Bea: bet you know the sister's name Fraze: don't be placing bets about me and girls my sister's age Bea: Lighten up it's not like she's a kid Fraze: She was Ali's friend when she was a kid, hardly a turn on seeing her trying to catch frogs or cast spells Fraze: but cheers for your permission Bea: Unlike our sisters, respectively, I'm sure she's grown up some since then Fraze: Like I said, don't bet on it Bea: Whatever, I don't wanna fuck her Fraze: Me either Bea: Cool Fraze: [go and do your theft of the church wine boy because this party is still not it] Bea: [go find him but under the guise/that's not a total lie doe of needing a fucking break] Fraze: [have another moment in that confined space] Bea: [drink that nasty wine, not even asking just taking it] Fraze: [letting it happen cos she needs it more than you tbh] Bea: [swigging way too much of the blood of christ before passing it back with a shrug like whoops, so soz] Fraze: [giving her a look like steady on like this wasn't your idea] Bea: ['you act like you come up with every plan' ref-ing to doing this as kids, obvs] Fraze: ['I do' that's a barefaced lie sir] Bea: [scoffs like oh please] Fraze: [scoffs himself to show what he thinks of her ideas in reference to this messy uni era that he's acting like she's solely responsible for] Bea: [takes the bottle back like if you're gonna be like that] Fraze: [takes it off her so he can actually get some] Bea: ['you did not have all the good ideas'] Fraze: ['Alright, you can credit him one for bringing you'] Bea: ['I thought you reckoned that was your idea too'] Fraze: ['Point is, it weren't yours'] Bea: [🙄 'I'm fine with being here not being my idea, tah'] Fraze: ['Unlike me being here' like there you go another bad idea] Bea: ['doesn't bother me' like unlucky] Fraze: ['You came to find me, not the other way round, babe'] Bea: ['I came to get away from everyone else, there's a difference'] Fraze: [looks around like there's loads of places to do that which is true cos there's literally no-one at this party] Bea: ['if you want me to go, say it'] Fraze: ['If I did, I would'] Bea: [a look like shut up then] Fraze: [shakes his head in an affectionate way like fuck knows why I want you around] Bea: [just like likewise with her everything] Fraze: [offers her a 🚬 like they're not indoors in the tiny priest cupboard] Bea: ['a way to get more guests' like when the firemen show Fraze: [a fearghal style big lol 'see, I'm full of good ideas'] Bea: [can't help but smile even if we're like mhmm] Fraze: [smiling because we made her smile, it's a lil moment] Bea: ['why haven't you left?' but soft not like accusatory or like get out] Fraze: [looking at her like you know why and we're stealing her words ''if you want me to go, say it' in a tone which obvs makes it clear that's not what we want] Bea: [says nothing to say it all] Fraze: [turn that look into a LOOK boy] Bea: ['why are you mad at me?' whilst casually getting on his lap to make sure he can't be] Fraze: ['why did you have to bring him here?' but everyone knows he's not that mad anymore because she's literally in here with you sir, priorities] Bea: ['see what you'd do' like we're joking but not not true either, just tracing all his features with your finger right now like it's been FOREVER since you saw each other] Fraze: [There's a time and a place' like I'm not gonna beat the shit out of him at this fam function even though I want to but also please don't bring him to fam functions ever again thank you] Bea: ['Maybe I didn't feel like being alone'] Fraze: ['You're not' pulling her even closer to him for emphasis] Bea: [a NOISE like 'scuse me 'not now'] Fraze: ['you're not alone ever' could sound creepy but we mean it in a loving and supportive way] Bea: [a look like we both know that's not true] Fraze: [a look like we both know it's always gonna be me and you, no matter what] Bea: [shakes head like that's not what I mean/the point] Fraze: [softly cups her face so they have all the eye contact like I mean it but you can still tell me what you mean] Bea: ['if we weren't ever alone, none of this would be happening'] Fraze: ['I don't regret that this is' like we're joking about being in this priest cupboard having a throwback moment but we're also saying that we're glad she's here and glad of any time we have rn so] Bea: [shaking our head and breaking eye contact as we get off him] Fraze: ['Shit's always gonna happen, we can't stop it' you can't save anyone vibes 'I only know one way that comes close, like'] Bea: ['what's that then?' but we're already not listening properly and getting up to go] Fraze: [a KISS to stop her in her tracks because it's that, like they are stopping time for a sec] Bea: [have your moment lads enjoy it been a long time coming] Fraze: [literally would feel like it's been forever anyway and even moreso because they are both having a shit time rn] Bea: [you can't get carried away, I vote the fun people at this party start playing hide and seek so you gotta break it up hens] Fraze: [I love that because I would suggest murder in the dark cos spooky girl energy but Ro's scared of the dark so we can't until she has left] Bea: [lol it's so against your everything to be scared of the dark that amuses me] Fraze: [she would play hide and seek though if only to get away from her bf] Bea: [so lowkey everyone will be playing therefore you must play lol] Fraze: [literally because Rocky, Ali and Carly have probably made mcvickers play by ganging up on them haha] Bea: [the entire guestlist hen, everyone else would be down, soz baze looooooooooooooooooollllllllllll] Fraze: [he's so just staying in this priest cupboard and we all know it] Bea: [such an obvious place boy you'll be seeking so soon, you better go find Bronson hun] Fraze: [likewise will just go for a 🚬 when he's supposed to be finding people because we're playing under duress] Bea: [we know you don't need to keep this close a watch on him like he'll be down but you know, moment gone here] Fraze: [good luck acting like you're not fuming that she went straight to him even though staying with you wasn't really an option] Bea: [this should be made into/they should play a different team game and be on opposite teams 'cos so competitive] Fraze: [always a mood so I 100% agree] Bea: [like idk what but take it way too seriously when no one else is lol] Fraze: [literally does not matter because like you said nobody else cares and you two are just on your bullshit, who should we say wins?] Bea: [i think firstly it's who gets Ro] Fraze: [he should because we don't need a beeline brawl] Bea: [you can have Rocky then Bea as they are equally as big a handicap so that's fair] Fraze: [lbr nobody is as big a handicap as Ro but he can have Ali who's great at everything to balance that out] Bea: [then she should have Tommy and Carly and he should have Bronson and Kayne] Bea: [Meena go where you like lol] Fraze: [he will be THRILLED to have Bronson on his team lol] Bea: [ha I know, like did that so you have some decent peeps but also for the awks] Fraze: [please don't brawl lads we can't be having that] Bea: [focus on winning, Fraze probably should] Fraze: [yeah otherwise he'll sulk haha] Bea: [and he already is so that would be rude] Fraze: [true enough] Bea: congrats Fraze: Say it like you mean it Bea: I don't so you know Bea: forced sportsmanship is all you're getting Fraze: come on, babe Bea: shut up Fraze: Don't be a sore loser Bea: you're so annoying Fraze: Nah, that was the team I had Bea: like mine was any better Fraze: Like you wouldn't rather have your sister, who you reckon you're just here to see, and your boyfriend Bea: I've seen her Bea: if you're hoping for a reunion beyond that, I'd stop Fraze: If you reckon that's even crossed my mind, you're losing your touch at more than kid's party games Bea: I'm saying I reckon that was a poor attempt at a dig, is all Fraze: you started it, like Bea: did I fuck Fraze: what else do you call that piss poor attempt at a congrats? Bea: sportsmanship Bea: I told you Fraze: Bullshit Bea: 🙄 fine, don't accept it Fraze: I don't Bea: so don't Fraze: Alright Bea: [drinking moodily like 😒] Fraze: [go for a smoke and calm down boy] Bea: [thank the lord this shit show is winding down, reminds me] Bea: Did Ro and Ali just walk past you? Fraze: Yeah, she said she's taking her home Bea: Wow Bea: I thought they were getting air, or some other stupid thing for another stupid ritual Bea: is she for real Fraze: Are you really that surprised? Bea: Pissed off and surprised aren't the same thing Bea: she actually got me to fly out Bea: for this Fraze: Do you want me to go after 'em? They only just went past Bea: No Bea: it's her party to ditch Fraze: at least you can too now though Bea: yeah, I really fancy the airport right now Bea: never mind getting back to Cambs just in time for rush hour Bea: fuck this Fraze: Then don't go to the airport Bea: This has been a massive waste of time Fraze: Cheers Bea: Come on Bea: you didn't want to come either Fraze: when I thought you weren't Bea: no, and before Fraze: Come on Bea: find you when I was done, if I recall Fraze: whatever, that's not the same as you shitting over all my attempts to make this bearable for you Bea: because you tried really hard to do that Fraze: obviously not hard enough, yeah? Bea: You said it, not me Fraze: Fuck's sake Fraze: forget it Bea: Done Fraze: Grand Bea: ['cos what you really need is to go out and get messier, lol, so rude not even gonna help everyone else clean up this shitshow] Fraze: [we all know he ain't staying to help either soz lads] Bea: [lol @ everyone else doing that work] Fraze: [do you wanna skip to later when they are both messier or go straight to the aftermath of this if she's going to the hotel?] Bea: [I vote still go home 'cos wasted enough money coming here it isn't like student funds goes that far Ro, gotta save for xmas too] Fraze: [honestly legit Ro you rude hoe] Bea: [we don't even need to be getting a travelodge honey, the sofa can stay so yes, we can skip] Fraze: [oh the joys, you messy bitches, so tempted to have him bring someone back for the drama] Bea: [that would kick off big time 'cos he's not allowed people at theirs 'cos it's their bed and she'd have to burn it lol, but he could not come back for drama but less than that if you wanna] Fraze: [good idea we don't wanna cause Bea to have a breakdown] Bea: [like I assumed you didn't wanna go that far lmao] Fraze: [I'm not that evil] Bea: you got your keys Fraze: I don't need 'em Bea: you aren't here, I had to go in and get some PJs Fraze: you don't need my permission to go in your own room Bea: I know, but I know you aren't back yet, is my point Fraze: By the time I am ma or da will be up, was my point Bea: alright Bea: I'm locking the backdoor too, as we're in the lounge Fraze: Don't be stupid Fraze: there's an empty bed, there's no point you sleeping on the sofa Bea: I've not slept in worse places Bea: it'd be rude to leave him on his own Fraze: and you wouldn't wanna be rude to him Bea: obviously not Fraze: obviously not Bea: How gone are you? Jesus Bea: well I've told you, so don't come through waking everybody up later Fraze: I've told you I won't Bea: you don't need my permission Fraze: I'm not asking for it Bea: then go do whatever you're doing Fraze: We can't even talk now Fraze: this plan of yours is fucking epic, like Bea: If you wanted to talk right now, you wouldn't be wherever the fuck you are Fraze: Nah, if you wanted to talk I wouldn't be Bea: 'cos that makes any sense Fraze: you couldn't leave fast enough, how else do you want me to take that? Bea: that wasn't about you Fraze: I never said it was, I said you don't want to talk to me Bea: would I have specifically taken a flight to come talk to you, when I'll be back for Christmas in a month? no, probably not Bea: that hardly means I don't want to talk to you Fraze: Do it then Bea: that's how conversation works now Bea: you demand it, I jump at the chance? Fraze: at least I'm making demands Bea: really Bea: how's that working out for you? Fraze: as well as the opposite is for you Bea: I don't want to talk to you, apparently Bea: nothing to not demand Fraze: you reckon you apparently do, there's loads to demand Bea: yeah, 'cos talking in circles with you right now is really thrilling Fraze: Thank Christ you've got him to talk to Bea: he's asleep Fraze: that makes sense if fuck all else does Fraze: 'course you'd leave it til then to say anything to me Bea: because I was going to go to bed and wanted to lock the door Bea: it's not anything more or less than that Fraze: so go to bed Bea: yeah, you aren't telling me what to do Fraze: I'm telling you to do yourself a favour Bea: you say what you like Bea: I don't care Fraze: I don't need your permission for that either Bea: then say something worth hearing or piss off and leave me alone Fraze: I meant what I fucking said, I don't wanna leave you alone Bea: Well good job because I am Bea: and no one has said fuck all to me today about it Bea: not even my sister Fraze: I'm sorry Bea: Yeah Bea: you've got loads to say? bullshit Fraze: There's fuck all I can say about this, we both know that Bea: No, there's fuck all you want to say about it Bea: 'cos no one wants to talk about it, so I don't get to regardless of if I might Fraze: Don't Fraze: you know me better than that Bea: Well why ain't you then? Bea: you're the one banging on about it, as if you've actually tried Fraze: I don't wanna be the cunt backing you into a corner and I know you better than to reckon that'd work Bea: This is working amazing then, alright Fraze: Well I reckoned you'd eventually come to me, more fool me Fraze: shit's changed Bea: Right, 'cos you made it so obvious you were up for talking Bea: saying you weren't coming Bea: it's encouraging, my mistake there Fraze: It should be obvious that you can talk to me about anything Bea: When Bea: you aren't here now either Fraze: whenever Fraze: you know nothing's more important than you Bea: okay Fraze: Say it like you believe me Bea: I can't Fraze: Bea Bea: I'm sorry Fraze: Don't Bea: you said things have changed Fraze: 'Cause they clearly fucking have Bea: They were bound to, I suppose Fraze: you could've warned me if you knew that Bea: What do you think taking a break was Bea: for you to figure out what you wanted Fraze: Don't blame me, I know what I fucking want Bea: Do you? Fraze: nothing's changed for me Bea: you can say that Bea: but this all points to the opposite, doesn't it Fraze: Bullshit Bea: You aren't here, we can't even talk Bea: nothing's the same now Fraze: What did you expect me to do? You pissed off with him, there weren't no invite going spare Bea: because you're an arsehole to him, I drag him here for the shittest party ever and then make you two have an even worse night out? what would be the point of that? Fraze: I'm not gonna cosy up to him, you do enough of that for the both of us Bea: I get it, you don't like him, that's why you weren't invited Fraze: You brought him, knowing I don't fucking like him, don't make me the cunt Bea: I'm allowed friends, no matter if you like them or not Fraze: we're both allowed to do whatever the hell we like, I ain't forgotten the rules Bea: as I'm not fucking him, the rules have nothing to do with it Bea: I never told you to not hang out with your mates Fraze: I'm not telling you what to do either, I'm telling you why I ain't there Bea: that's ridiculous Fraze: Fuck you Bea: it is, for Christ's sake Bea: he's asleep on the sofa not fucking me on our bed Fraze: you don't believe me, why should I believe you? Fraze: it's ridiculous that you brought him here in the first place Bea: I'd have time to be messaging you Bea: you're just being stupid now Bea: how is it ridiculous? Fraze: You've already made me look stupid Fraze: did it make you feel any better? Bea: To who, your brother, my sister? Bea: I couldn't be on my own today Bea: I tried and I couldn't, that's all it is Fraze: You don't need him, you've got me Bea: I'm not meant to come to you for everything, I'm meant to give you space Bea: give each other Bea: that's what this whole thing is about Fraze: this whole thing is bullshit Fraze: and even if I reckoned it was a good idea I'm not just gonna pretend your parents didn't die today to go fuck a Trinity student Fraze: there's a time and a place, like I said Bea: Fine Bea: well he's here now, what do you want me to do about it? Bea: I can't send him home Fraze: There's fuck all you can do, other than don't lock me out Bea: I knew you didn't have your keys Fraze: you do still know me then, yeah? Bea: If you hadn't forgot, you'd have lost them Bea: should probably change the locks, honestly Fraze: if you don't keep me out, I'll keep any robbing cunts out Bea: I'm not going to lock you out Bea: you don't need to promise heroics Fraze: I know you can't sleep, I'd be a new level of callous bastard if I gave you anything else to worry about Bea: it'd be a distraction Bea: doubt your parents would appreciate it though Fraze: Well I can easily give you one of them Bea: not that you rate yourself or anything Fraze: it starts with me, yeah, no fucker else is volunteering to sing my praises right now Bea: Poor boy Fraze: Don't rub it in how skint I am as well Bea: well you and me both Bea: be eating plain rice when I get back Bea: at least your ma makes sure you have decent food still Fraze: I'll send you something to put on it Fraze: or something to drown your sorrows with Bea: where do you think all my money goes, like Fraze: you and me both, babe Fraze: these Trinity girls aren't cheap dates, like Bea: My sympathy can only extend so far Fraze: the night off from it is appreciated enough Bea: uhuh Fraze: you don't believe me, I heard you the first time Bea: it was never part of the deal that we had to talk about it Fraze: I know Bea: so I don't want to Fraze: I'm shutting up and coming in Bea: Good Fraze: come and have a drink Bea: [does, of course] Fraze: [giving her the bottle for the mems of Jesus blood and always] Bea: [take a big swig like you need to remotely lol 'thank you' with sincerity at last] Fraze: [shamelessly checking her out in whatever pjs she's wearing obvs, though I vote she's wearing at least one item that belongs to him so he's like 😏 and gently pulls on whatever it is like that's mine without saying so out loud] Bea: [deffo, and has done it without even noticing so it's like oh, raising a brow like you want it back?] Fraze: [yassssss because they are that coupley goodbye but he shakes his head because looks better on her anyway and takes the bottle instead] Bea: [even though it would've been ages since you did that it's just habit, shrugs like 😏 your loss] Fraze: [such a LOOK of course] Bea: ['where'd you go?' like where did you go drink, not WHERE WERE YOU vibes] Fraze: [telling her the name of somewhere studenty with his own shrug, I like to imagine he's like casually getting ready for bed here also as a habit because it doesn't feel awkward to just get topless or whatever] Bea: [casual face of disdain but 'makes sense'] Fraze: ['nothing happened' because even though she said she didn't wanna talk about it and neither do you, you want her to know that and you're drunk enough to just say it] Bea: ['doesn't matter if it did' blatant lie but okay] Fraze: [a look because we know it's a blatant lie but we're coming to put our arms around her cos it's been such a shit day] Bea: [big sighs] Fraze: [just having a snuggle and it will forever fuck me up cos he's so tol and she's so smol] Bea: [OG tol and smol, we mumbling into his chest like scuse you what you saying] Fraze: [she's like me and Clove, failing to thrive honey, so if you think he's not cradling her like a little Clovey you'd be incorrect] Bea: [just have this moment of softness, gotta allow it] Fraze: [very deserved and needed] Bea: ['this is such bullshit' like true but specifics where] Fraze: ['I know' because you don't need specifics cos everything is for you too like you literally thought she was slipping away from you same as Joe did and you've realised you hate uni it wasn't just 1st year being crap] Bea: [that must happen so much 'cos allegedly everyone hates 1st year but then it just carries on like oh] Fraze: [it really does happen a lot hence he's like well shit it's not that and I don't actually wanna be doing this] Bea: ['there's fuck all to do, is there?'] Fraze: [repositioning however necessary for eye contact because there's always something they can do, that's like their entire mantra and we don't need to express that with words] Bea: [gestures like ugh I know that but seriously, right now, this has been hard since this time last year] Fraze: ['if you wanna throw all these bullshit rules out, tell me' like ldr exists babe we don't have to get randoms involved] Bea: [shakes his head 'it's about what's right and needs to be done'] Fraze: [kisses her like you can't tell me this isn't right gal] Bea: her* scuse me Bea: [going in on that kiss, not just so we don't have to sort this out but you know lollollol] Fraze: [likewise allowing it and not only from the standpoint that we need them to be messy and struggling for a while yet but also because he would] Bea: [deal with some of this tension hens] Fraze: [it's the first real chance you've had so I'm not gonna stop you] Bea: [it'd be silly to say it wouldn't happen so we cannot sorry] Fraze: [exactly] Bea: [okay, so obviously we're falling asleep together and equally as obviously you still have to be back asap for school etc so you're probably leaving early AM, not just for the drama of it lol] Fraze: [makes sense but I vote he brings you breakfast in bed before Bronson wakes up because 1. cute 2. you don't have to deal with Ro who's always up ridiculously early lurking and he remembered what you said about eating rice when you get back] Bea: [you've probably not had breakfast in a thousand years so that's a novelty] Fraze: [like it probably wouldn't be good cos he'd accidentally burn the toast or whatever thanks to how messy they were last night but the romantic gesture has been attempted] Bea: [tis the thought that counts henny] Fraze: [my thoughts exactly, just trying to look after her but keep it casual so she's not 😒] Bea: [we can't get too mad over some toast, even if we'd probably try not to eat it at first like g2g] Fraze: [gal you know he can keep you in that bed, don't test him] Bea: [or do, depending how much time you've left yourselves lol] Fraze: [mhmmm] Bea: [either way, you're leaving and you're gonna be folorn] Fraze: [literally would take all his willpower to not just come with you cos uni sucks but as you've not talking about it yet and can't really have the convo now that ain't happening hun] Bea: [soz babe, not at that realisation for a while yet but you did a good job sowing seeds] Fraze: [didn't wanna go too heavy handed with it because not gonna trump dead parents but like it is happening so] Bea: [you wanna end this here or do a bit of aftermath] Fraze: [I think we've covered a lot so tbh unless there's anything we want to specifically address in the aftermath it's probably good]

[punkscowardschampions]

Cosmo & Amber

Amber: [okay so the clerb was a whole mood ™ before his ⚽ mates make it awkward and she goes off with some other lad, but we wanna say anything happened between them before then or is it just a VIBE] Cosmo: [I say a VIBE] Amber: [if you wanted you could do your own #necklaceapology here unless you wanna say that already happened] Cosmo: [probably not now 'cos of the leaving with someone else element of it all, even though he deffo changed and blanked her basically, 'cos you know] Amber: [ah the joys] Cosmo: [fun times all 'round] Cosmo: get home safe? Amber: I will when he takes me home Amber: how are you feeling? Cosmo: fantastic Amber: 9 lives Cosmo: no need to compare numbers Amber: did you have a game today? Cosmo: friendly Amber: and was it? Cosmo: you wanna know if I got carded? Amber: and if you scored or helped someone else to Amber: I want to know everything that happened Cosmo: We lost Amber: and you don't want to talk about it or we can? Cosmo: we've had enough of an ear-bashing off the management but if you reckon you've got any suggestions feel free Amber: why do you think I'd be coming from a place of 😠? Cosmo: losing = bad Amber: not if it means you win next time Amber: everything's a learning experience when your dad's a teacher Cosmo: I was just off my game Cosmo: it's not going to happen again Amber: I do remember saying that maybe Saturday wasn't the best night to take my clubbing 🍒 Cosmo: you wanted to go, you got what you wanted Amber: do you want to talk about it? Cosmo: about what, exactly Amber: that dig which implies you didn't get what you wanted Cosmo: There's no dig, I lost, that's not what I wanted Cosmo: I don't need you coming in after the fact with an 'I told you so' Cosmo: you saw the rest of my team out, it's a weekly occurrence Amber: then don't put the blame onto me Cosmo: where'd I say that Amber: I wanted to go, it's my fault Cosmo: You didn't force me to take you Cosmo: you couldn't Amber: I know, so I don't appreciate the tone Cosmo: I'm so sorry Amber: I'm sorry you lost Cosmo: sure you are Amber: it's genuine, unlike yours Cosmo: I'm not apologising to you, what the fuck have I done but take you out Cosmo: and you clearly had a good time Amber: you could apologise for how you acted last night or how you are now Amber: but I won't wait for either Cosmo: I weren't acting Amber: not before your friends got there Amber: only after Cosmo: other way 'round Cosmo: that's who I am Amber: why did you invite me out if you don't want to be seen with me? Cosmo: it's not that Cosmo: I knew they weren't your people, you wouldn't have enjoyed hanging with them Amber: you don't get to make those kind of decisions for me Cosmo: I wasn't going to let them be dicks to you Amber: neither would I Amber: I can defend my own honour, thanks Cosmo: Well if I can, then I'm going to, simple as Cosmo: it didn't need to be a thing Amber: no, if you can keep me separate from them, you're going to Amber: that's what you mean Cosmo: I told you, you're not my type of person, I'm not yours Cosmo: that includes my friends Amber: you spelled out to me in great detail how I don't fit into your life the way it is, so why did you invite me out?! Amber: you made it into a thing Cosmo: you wanted to Amber: I wanted to, the way you said it would be, not THAT Cosmo: they usually go [different club] Amber: we could've left, I'd have gone to a different club with you Cosmo: wasn't my plan either Cosmo: you would? Amber: of course, I would've, I meant everything I said about not adding to the pressure that you're under Amber: but that doesn't mean I'm going to make it easy for you to smuggle me into dark corners like it's such a shameful secret that we're friends Amber: you don't get to treat me however you want because your life is hard Cosmo: I know it's fucked up Cosmo: and yeah, it saves me hassle, not going to deny it, but I don't wanna hear the shit they'd have to say about you, any more than I'd want you to hear it Amber: address it and you wouldn't have to hear it again, about any girl Amber: stop giving them a free pass to say things like that Cosmo: yeah, it's that easy Amber: It's not easy, nor is it easy being a girl getting treated like an object Cosmo: this is my career we're talking about Cosmo: I make their lives hard, they make mine hard for me right back Cosmo: I'd be off the team before I knew it Cosmo: it's not like they're rapists or anything crazy Amber: you've got better excuses than your brother, I'll give you that Cosmo: don't compare us Amber: why not? it's a variation of the same behaviour and I'm tired of it Cosmo: I'm fuck all like my brother Amber: at least you're sorry Cosmo: What's he done to you now? Amber: he hasn't done anything to me and this conversation isn't about him anyway Cosmo: Amber Cosmo: you can tell me Amber: you already know what he's like, I don't need to Cosmo: Sure, he's a little prick Cosmo: but why are you upset with him right now Amber: because there are girls there that are more vulnerable than me and the way you're acting like you need to stand up for me against your friends is what they need and aren't getting Amber: it was brought to my attention and I should've realised before Cosmo: what does that mean though Amber: I need to do something to help, I don't know Cosmo: you mean he's like hurt someone Amber: not physically, don't worry Cosmo: okay, good Cosmo: it sounded like you meant he'd like Cosmo: assaulted someone Amber: I'm sorry, no, it's not that Amber: like your friends, I'm sure he wouldn't Cosmo: don't girls have a whole code Cosmo: put the word out about him being whatever type of dick he's being, then you won't have to feel bad, it'll be on him and them Amber: I have Cosmo: there you go then Cosmo: they'll have the info to make their own decisions now Cosmo: opposed to whatever bullshit he might come out with Amber: I don't want to talk about Dash Cosmo: okay Amber: was your dad at your game? Cosmo: no, he was doing something with his girlfriend's family Cosmo: so I'll have to tell him now, that we lost Amber: how upset is he going to be? Cosmo: when he realizes why Cosmo: quite a bit Amber: you could lie, I won't sneak in through his window and tell him Cosmo: he'll see Cosmo: or talk to the managers Cosmo: I can maybe think of something that makes it sound better but he isn't big on excuses so Amber: they don't know why, do they? unless they were also at the club which is a bit hypocritical and strange Amber: but I was asking to see if you wanna do a meditation or something with me before you tell him Amber: this boy doesn't have a yoga mat, I could improvise though Cosmo: One of the lads practically sprayed the pitch Cosmo: weren't me but it's a sort of if one of us is in shit then we all are Cosmo: but no one else's dad will make 'em do extra training on top of the extra training Cosmo: it's fine, just not ideal Cosmo: I think you should leave, though Amber: why do you think I should leave? Cosmo: you don't even know who he is Amber: he's making brunch and I have manners Cosmo: if you had manners you wouldn't be using me for entertainment whilst you wait Amber: I'm not Amber: I'm making sure you're okay because I haven't seen or heard from you since last night happened the way it did Cosmo: You don't need to check up on me Cosmo: go enjoy your brunch Amber: you didn't need to either but you started this conversation to do exactly that Cosmo: I had no idea you were having brunch Amber: relax, 9, it isn't candlelit Amber: he's on his phone too Amber: just because I sleep outside doesn't mean I was born in a barn Cosmo: Does he know how old you are Amber: yes, I don't seduce men via deception Cosmo: how old is this man then Amber: 18, he's a boy really Cosmo: 🙄 Amber: what? Cosmo: bit weird on his part Amber: where did you meet all your stalkers and girlfriends? Cosmo: I've not gone out with an 18 year old Amber: you're behaving like I said 28 Amber: if I'd met him at school, it wouldn't even be an issue Cosmo: it'd still be weird Cosmo: you're a kid Amber: ⭐ Cosmo: Whatever Amber: it's not, stop trying to make me feel bad about this Cosmo: I'm not, I'm saying he's weird Amber: do you know him? Amber: because after your reluctance to let your friends anywhere near me, I don't think you're in any position to judge Cosmo: he's 18, you told him you were 15 Cosmo: speaks for itself Amber: boy, you're in the wrong career 👮 Amber: I'm fine thanks, officer Cosmo: 'cos sound lads can never get girls their own age Cosmo: it isn't my fault if you feel bad Amber: yes it is because last night is a weekly occurrence for you and it you know it wasn't for me Amber: so you don't get to tell me how I can or can't decide to make the best of something Cosmo: Then you should listen to me and go home Cosmo: for fuck's sake Amber: I can't walk home from here in this outfit, it's too far Amber: you think he's weird that'd be nothing on what I'd get from actual grown men if I do Cosmo: you can't make him give you money for a cab? Amber: I don't want to ask, because if he says no then you're right, and I don't want you to be right Cosmo: I'll ping you some now alright Cosmo: then we don't have to find out Amber: don't, I haven't got any way to pay you back Amber: you've spelled out your feelings about 🍏🍊🐓 Cosmo: would you rather chance it and get a lift back from someone you don't even want to ask about the taxi Cosmo: how else are you going to do it, don't be stupid Amber: 😠 okay Amber: but I'm staying angry at you Cosmo: do what you like, I don't care about the money or paying you to be nice Amber: what do you care about? I'll do something that'll benefit that Cosmo: just get home unmurdered, yeah Cosmo: that works for me Amber: are you home? I could make you brunch Cosmo: you just want two brunches Amber: yes, but I also want you to have one Cosmo: What are you going to make? Amber: after extensive research, a lot of footballers are vegan, are you? Cosmo: for the most part Cosmo: I eat fish sometimes Amber: oily fish is good for ⚽ that was part of the research and 🍣📸 is apparently part of the lifestyle Amber: but avocado toast with blueberry, banana and chia seed pancakes won't get me voted out of the commune Cosmo: alright nerd Cosmo: is he a footballer or what? Amber: no, he goes to some catholic school, I don't know it Cosmo: definite weirdo then Cosmo: nah, thanks though Cosmo: sounds good Amber: his parents house is pretty close to yours so don't ruin your appetite with snacks Cosmo: I don't eat snacks Cosmo: not even to piss you off Amber: never?! Amber: What about 🍏 🍎 🍐 🍊 🍋 🍌 🍉 🍇 🍓 🍈 🍒 🍑 🥭 🍍 🥥 🥝 ? Amber: or 🥜? Cosmo: if I was dying but nah Cosmo: little and often Amber: I'm relieved you're not dying Amber: it sounds like you and your friends partied harder than I did after we separated Cosmo: They did anyway Amber: you didn't? Cosmo: I never get as fucked up as them Amber: because you don't want to or because you're 💪🏽? Cosmo: I don't wanna be the one making us lose Cosmo: or losing my spot on the team Amber: it stops being fun Amber: if I make a decision I'd like to know that it wasn't my blood alcohol level that really did Cosmo: yeah Cosmo: think a lot of people do the opposite for the excuse Amber: not to side with your dad before I've even met him but I don't love excuses either Cosmo: it's a good rule, if a little tough Amber: I did think you were saying that was why you weren't as focused though Cosmo: can be, if you like Amber: but what's the answer? Cosmo: nosy Amber: secretive Cosmo: it doesn't matter does it Amber: it must matter to you if it's why you lost Amber: but it doesn't matter if you don't want to tell me, I'm still making brunch Amber: [show up and knock 9 times again gal] Cosmo: [shooketh lowkey like didn't think you were that close, also so many knocks, saying Indie is home so being over your shoulder like it's fine I know who it is as you open the door] Amber: [we know the vibe she's making herself at home immediately because she's that bitch, saying hi to his mum and asking her if she wants brunch too or just tea or coffee all the while in last night's extra af club lewk because awkwardness doesn't exist for her and we're getting in that kitchen and putting on music and dancing and cooking like we live here] Cosmo: [just introducing her because we're freaking out but then you're like, idk what to even say so you're calling her 'Dash's friend' which frankly makes this stranger though I guess explainable lol, lowkey not even looking at her because we cannot for all the reasons] Amber: [that hurt her heart because boy I'm literally making you brunch, we're friends, but we're not correcting that sentence, we're just chatting to his mum and doing all the things like he's lowkey not there] Cosmo: [oh boy, so lowkey rude truly on accident because you don't want the conversation I highly doubt your mum would start rn like OOOOOOOOH lol, gonna make your dad call you like he's found out so go outside and promise all the shit you're gonna do to stay on top] Amber: [Indie would never do you like that boy but we know where you're coming from and Amber isn't coming for your life rn either even if she doesn't understand because she literally tells her parents everything] Cosmo: [come in in a bit visibly more stressed even though you already were/always are, poor boy[ Amber: [at least the food would probably be ready by then because none of the things she was making would take that long and I assume his dad was going off for a while so she can just put the food in front of him] Cosmo: [look like ? as if you literally didn't compute she was really doing it until it's fully in front of you like oh 'thank you' also piss off now Indie/Billie sorry bye] Amber: [take your coffee and go gal before he has a breakdown please, the bae who isn't the bae needs to smile at him in a really genuine and adorable way because he remembered his manners] Cosmo: [smiling back but we're just distracted by all things so it's not as real as it can be though we trying 'what did you have for your first brunch?'] Amber: ['oatmeal' not said in a shady way but it's just reinforcing that the boy wasn't bringing his A game here] Cosmo: [just raising a brow and trying not to smile too smugly 'glad you put more effort in'] Amber: [😠 lowkey because he doesn't get to be smug like at least that boy made something he hasn't even made her a drink like excuse you 'I'm glad you like it'] Cosmo: [nudging her under the table with his foot like what] Amber: [a look like you know what] Cosmo: ['you want more oatmeal?' doing a bad mimic of her voice] Amber: [hitting him on the arm like stop, even if she has to lean across the table to do it] Cosmo: ['what?' well done for saying it] Amber: ['I like oatmeal more than you right now' because we're cross] Cosmo: ['hey' and reaching across the table to do the squeeze-of-the-hand-apology and then gesturing at her plate like let's just eat] Amber: [when he literally hasn't touched her before this so we're dying but eating like it's chill] Cosmo: ['this is a better way to do the footballer diet than I have been' for a compliment moment 'cos like everything we're being overly regimented duh] Amber: [leaves the pancake recipe in the chat for him because quick and easy tbh] Cosmo: 👍 Cosmo: [then doing it IRL like a nerd] Amber: 🤓 Amber: [but we're amused] Cosmo: that's you Cosmo: I'm evil, I remember Cosmo: [jokey 😒 'cos wants to be a Gryffindor 'good guy'] Amber: no, you're brave but not stupid Amber: [goes on a little slytherin pride style rant like this is how great you are] Cosmo: [just like 'say how you really feel about me' like it's all bants but listening to all her nerding out] Amber: ['I feel like you'd be a good friend to have' because we haven't forgotten what he said earlier] Cosmo: [penny dropping moment 'cos boys are that oblivious facts lol, shrugging like come on but clearly awkward 'what should I have said? after last night-' like are you even my friend now] Amber: ['You said what you were comfortable with' again not said in a shady way, just like yet again I'm not trying to make your life hard boy 'but after last night, if I were you, I'd want to pacify me'] Cosmo: ['how would you suggest I do that?' saucy saucy] Amber: ['I would suggest it comes from you, to be like, actually sincere'] Cosmo: [🤔 then being like hold up and go get that necklace honeyyy] Amber: [we're immediately putting that on even though it doesn't go with this outfit] Cosmo: [nodding our approval 'cos not risking saying anything rn] Amber: ['it's not a good luck charm, right?' like I'm not getting blamed if you lose again] Cosmo: [shakes his head 'if you start doing that kind of thing, can get a bit OCD, like'] Amber: [playing with this necklace casually 'maybe it will be for me' cos we're happy now that he's being nice] Cosmo: ['what do you need luck for?' actual question not being rude lol] Amber: ['next time you take me clubbing' we got bants] Cosmo: [just like alright, alright 'it was me who ended up having a shit night anyway'] Amber: [doing the hand squeeze apology back to him] Cosmo: [pulling away, not too dramatically 'cos not an ew moment, but clearly not her fault so like nah girl] Amber: [getting up to wash up because even though they've 100% got a dishwasher she wouldn't have ever lived anywhere that does cos hippie life so it wouldn't occur to her honestly] Cosmo: [finding a tea towel like I'll dry] Amber: [how coupley of you, love that, just grooving while we do this because of course] Cosmo: [gonna lowkey check you out 'you didn't do enough dancing...we'll have to go again, actually'] Amber: [just giving a horrified look like they're no such thing as enough dancing thank you but then loling 'we could do a friday night instead, if that works better for you'] Cosmo: ['alright' then pausing 'probably not for a while' 'cos we have all this extra training to do and people to appease so we gon' be busy] Amber: ['okay' genuine because she will wait and that's the tea, then I'm gonna take the bathtub moment from the OG convo we did because #mood and it actually works better now cos she does need to bathe lol so I'm saying she goes upstairs, making herself at home again obvs and calls 'bring me tea' over her shoulder as she goes like the queen she is] Cosmo: [it does work better and is needed so go ahead, though he is truly confused where she is going and why but like okay, pop off at this point] Amber: [excuse us Indie because you're assumedly still here lol] Cosmo: how do you take your tea Cosmo: we don't have green Amber: I don't like green tea, don't worry Amber: but I still take black tea that way, no milk Amber: what colour is your sugar? Cosmo: I think we might have some 🤎 in the baking shit if it's a dealbreaker Amber: if there is, I'll have some but it's not Amber: we run out of everything at home Cosmo: I'll be amazed if we have any left but 🤞🙏 Amber: at least you have hot water Cosmo: that's what you're doing Amber: 🛀🏽🧜🏽 Cosmo: don't get in yet Amber: why? Cosmo: your tea will get cold Amber: you're supposed to bring it to me, boy Cosmo: how am I meant to Cosmo: leave it at the door? Cosmo: close my eyes? Amber: I won't be able to reach it if you leave it there, and you don't need to be embarrassed Cosmo: I'm not embarrassed Amber: fine, neither of us will get accidentally scolded by hot tea that you're carrying around with your eyes closed then Cosmo: not clumsy, for one, do more research nerd Amber: oh, are you carrying it with your feet? I didn't realise, sorry Cosmo: you reckon all my skill is in my feet only? Amber: and your head, if footballers are still allowed to do that? Amber: but you're not a goalkeeper Cosmo: yeah, headers are valid Cosmo: rest assured, I can still get a full mug to you Amber: they are banned for children because the risk of brain damage is valid too, according to my research Amber: chronic traumatic encephalopathy Cosmo: big words Cosmo: all I know is rugby is rougher Cosmo: or I could be a boxer, so Amber: it also happens to boxers, I don't know about rugby players Cosmo: anything where you're getting bashed about the head too much Cosmo: most only do it when necessary but it's some people's 'thing' to assist or score rather than lose it in the scrabble of feet Amber: that makes sense, but we've digressed here away from the debate of how good you are, or aren't, with your hands Cosmo: what you mean is, we've digressed away from you getting your tea in a prompt manner Cosmo: diva Amber: yes and yes Cosmo: 😏 Cosmo: it's brewing Amber: thanks Cosmo: you can take back what you said about my lack of skills later, like Amber: if you have foraging skills for sugar, maybe I will Cosmo: see if you taste the difference Amber: now you're doubting my skills? I guess I deserve that Cosmo: your taste? Cosmo: happened last night tbh Amber: 😠 Cosmo: come on Cosmo: I could've said when we met Cosmo: I was being well nice Amber: if you'd said it when we met I'd have agreed with you Cosmo: I suppose anything's a step up Amber: the sex absolutely was Cosmo: thrilled for you Amber: there's still plenty left for you to make fun of him, and me, about Cosmo: I'd rather not Amber: I'd rather you didn't either but it hasn't stopped you so far Cosmo: just stop talking then Amber: talking to me like that isn't going to provoke me into giving you the silent treatment Cosmo: [just bring this tea up moodily] Amber: [taking it and saying thanks again as if you're just at the kitchen table or whatever instead of naked and chilling in this bath lol] Cosmo: [we are not looking and just shrugging like whatever idc] Amber: [splashing him obvs like stop being rude] Cosmo: [when you can't even be mad like your ma uses this bathroom 'cos clearly not so you're just scowling but not 👀 her] Amber: [just smelling everything that's on the side of this bath because you don't want to use anything that's Dash's] Cosmo: [doing our hair in the mirror as if we need] Amber: ['are you always like this when a girl wants to spend time with you?' do we mean rude or checking yourself out instead of her or both tbh] Cosmo: [big sigh and rubbing our temples 'you wanted a bath'] Amber: ['and you'd also rather I didn't do that?'] Cosmo: ['do you not think this is weird?'] Amber: ['You're making it bizarre now' because genuinely doesn't think it's weird obviously or she wouldn't do it] Cosmo: [scoffs like oh yeah, me] Amber: [splashing him bigger than before] Cosmo: [turning 'round like STOP but then you're just looking at her the most intense] Amber: [obviously looking back like please just say something or do something before we both die lol] Cosmo: [when you shake your head microscopically to say you can't 'cos you wanna so bad obvs] Amber: [when you're not even doing the pout for a pisstake it just happens naturally because likewise, soz for drawing even more attention to those lips like] Cosmo: [the noise you're barely holding back here 'you know we can't'] Amber: ['I know we could' because it would be so easy rn to let this happen and they both know it lbr and I can only imagine how her voice sounds rn, soz again] Cosmo: [shaking your head more vigorously to snap yourself outta it 'cos you must, and throwing a new towel down for her like there you go and making your exit] Amber: [doing such a cinematic and dramatic lay down in the water moment because ffs] Cosmo: [lord knows what you're gonna do with yourself boy] Amber: [she should literally leave right now immediately but we in this bath now so blatantly getting clean first, a lot quicker than she would of but still the idea makes me lol] Cosmo: [lmao, just glad you no doubt have a gym sesh or something now so get that frustration out but lord] Amber: [just gotta awkwardly leave here in that club lewk because we can't ask him for an outfit rn, oh gal] Cosmo: [ah the awks awks awks] Amber: [such fun, this is why I love you two, he cockblocks himself so we don't have to] Cosmo: [truly but also hate it lol] Amber: [we 100% need to give him a WAG girlfriend like remember when Joe had that cringey Blake Lively one back in the day] Cosmo: [oh lord yes] Amber: [I'm trying to think who looks like a WAG so we can give her a face for the lols] Cosmo: [I was thinking a character like Ruby from sex education, she's the only one I can think of rn, but that's a WAG-ish vibe] Amber: [I vibe that and I also have an idea how he could meet her like what if she's to do with the dad's girlfriend like when people are really extra about their goddaughters pretending like they are fam when they're for real not even] Cosmo: [that's a fat mood, just using your godmother to get a mans lowkey lol] Amber: [anyways that's for another convo, you can post this if you like]