#things I write when I can't sleep
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Contrary to popular belief Tim is actually well aware of the importance of sleep. Tim knows that the body needs sleep to function optimally, that he needs to get more of it and imbibe less caffeine. That would all be well and good, if his body would let him.
Tim's no stranger to insomnia. Has suffered sleepless nights staring at the inside of his eyelids over and over until... Well, if he wasn't going to get any sleep anyway he might as well do something else. Tailing Batman and Robin when he was younger then working on cases, tinkering with gadgets in the early morning hours in the Batcave; anything to maybe force his body past the point of no return so he could actually sleep.
While it's gotten better, Tim still spends more time awake then he does asleep. It might be easier, some nights, but not always.
"I'm heading in early." It's a thankfully quiet night but Tim can feel the exhaustion tugging at his limbs. By his estimation he's gotten a scattered total of ten hours of sleep the last couple days and none of it was particularly restful.
"Alright," comes Oracle's computerized voice, "you okay?"
"Fine. Just feeling a little under the weather." It's true enough and Tim manages to be in bed in his apartment a little after 12:30am.
He just has to close his eyes. Close his eyes, stop thinking...
Two hours pass and Tim still. Can't. Sleep.
Fine then. There's WE reports to review anyway. If he passes out while working on the couch then so be it.
The sun is beginning to rise, Tim's living room cast in a deep orange light when there's a noise at the balcony. Even as tired as he is Tim manages to fish a batarang out from the underside of the coffee table and brandish it at the intruder.
"The hell are you doing awake?"
Who turns out to be the Red Hood in all his armoured glory, a plastic takeout bag dangling from one hand.
Tim drops back onto the couch in a huff, rubbing one hand down his face.
"Honestly couldn't tell you. What're you doing here?"
"Blondie told me you were sick," Jason says simply, placing the plastic bag on the coffee table with a thunk. The helmet follows soon after. "Thought I'd drop off some food as thanks for helping me out the other day, especially if you were doing it while getting sick."
Huh. That's awful... thoughtful of Jason. Unfortunately, Tim wasn't any more sick than he was normally, Stephanie had probably exaggerated the problem just through hearsay.
Jason is looking at him. Scrutinizing him in a way only a bat can.
Tim's never exactly told anyone about his troubles with insomnia, content to let everyone just assume it was by choice. Which was probably an entirely different problem in and of itself.
"Alright, come on," Jason says. Commands, really. He's gone from the other side of the coffee table to grabbing Tim by the bicep and hauling him to his feet in the span of a blink. Or maybe Tim's perception of time has completely deteriorated. One of the two.
"What?" Tim asks belatedly in the middle of being dragged from the livingroom to the bedroom. Jason doesn't answer, instead drawing the blackout curtains to block out the rising sun and... it's not quite a shove, but it's definitely not a suggestion either that Tim lie down.
He disappears out the door leaving Tim to wonder if he actually hallucinated all that. There's noise in the apartment- the fridge door opening, the rustling of a plastic bag, the fridge door closing. Tim expects Jason to leave, sighing into his comforter as he tries to get comfortable. If he's lucky he'll fall asleep in a few hours at this rate.
And then he hears the bedroom door close. Footsteps and a weight on the bed. Warm, strong arms pull Tim in until he's pressed flush against Jason's solid body.
Tim starts to wonder if he did fall asleep on the couch and is currently just. Halluci-dreaming. Or something.
Jason's chest expands, his breath ruffling Tim's hair.
"Stop thinking, babybird," he rumbles, squeezing Tim a little tighter.
Tim closes his eyes and falls asleep in record time.
#astrix writes#things i do when i myself can't sleep#finish wips from 2 years ago#clunkily but finished lmao#jaytim
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finally managed to doodle the hot rod guy from the mecha au by @keferon
He is so fun
Like I want to draw him in every fun and dynamic position possible
I vehemently think he have to jump in the most limb bending eye catching pose everytime, just because he can, it's my own very personal headcanon belief that is dear to me
I am currently in the middle figuring out how to draw his mecha dancing to bye bye bye send prayers pls ( and the lost light Titan trying and failing too if I can add him )
#tf mecha universe#hot rod#transformers#maccadam#Rodimus#i did my best to draw him as fast as possible and as recognizable as possible#i had a vision#better ti stop yapping i can't stop when u start#*when i start#but this au is giving me so much want and motivation to draw and write theory and things and au of that au it's pfydtirusoyFdhjGz#too much and too perfect all at once#doodle finished it's 3:37 am here i better sleep before continuing#amd i will#as soon as i find the time#okay i really need to stop talking now#HOPE YOU LIKE IT
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Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,
Anime:
GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)
VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!
Manga:
GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.
#dbtag#I do not understand this writing it's so bad aklsdlkasjd#Toei wants Goku to be Clark Kent SO bad and he SO isn't lmao#they're so good and dumb and rounded and complex in the manga what is the anime so afraid of#Toriyama said 'no no this man is a detached faux-immortal who has a dear pure heart but he's childlike and selfish even though he's kind'#and toei went 'got it goku's never done anything wrong ever in his life'#toriyama said 'Vegeta's gone through a lot and he's finally settling into his more mature leadership role with the confidence he's earned'#and toei said 'got it vegeta has the confidence of a high school bully except now he can interact with his family as a comedy bit'#girl hWHAT#Toei trying to group Goku and Vegeta as two people who would rather train than be with their families and Toriyama said NO Vegeta wants#to be HOME this is the first time in years that he's HAD ONE and it makes him HAPPY to be with his wife and children!!#Vegeta trains so that he can protect the things he doesn't want to lose again and Goku trains because it's the thing that makes him happies#They are NOT the same lmao And yeah Vegeta still wants to beat Goku but he also knows that Gohan could dogwalk both of them if he wanted#He also knows Trunks and Goten are going to surpass them it's not about being the best anymore he's past that he just wants to Not Need Gok#He just doesn't want to have to rely on Goku to save the day he wants to be Enough on his own he just wants to know he can be#because every time it's mattered he WASN'T and people he loved were lost to his inability to protect them and he carries that#Like Whis diagnosed him with anxiety and cptsd out in the open and Beerus said he was self-centered for feeling guilt#+ he lowkey enjoys the rivalry it keeps him goal-oriented so he can't get complacent and lazy which is what triggered his Buu Saga breakdow#realized how Fucked Up it was that having a home and loving family made him feel like he was failing and went 'wait no I won actually??'#now he's chill as fuck in the manga. cool confident leader.#and sometimes he is childish and dumb with Goku as a treat#you know what rocks about his rivalry with Goku in Super though is that it's Playful. Vegeta is learning how to Play.#You ever seen a shelter dog get introduced to a really playful dog and it takes a minute for the shelter dog to understand it's safe here#And then they're both running around the backyard playing hot potato with one braincell?? That's Goku and Vegeta's relationship#and the way the anime sleeps on that dynamic is so fucking criminal especially when it's literally canon it's in print it's out there#you had the playbook how'd you fumble it this bad#anyway that's my 25+ year blorbo thoughts I love Geets a lot okay#And I love Goku in the manga a lot I'd forgotten that he's actually a great character when Toei's not fucking up his whole vibe
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From the Kurogiri’s meditating post- nice to see him and Yabureme getting along better!
#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#kurogiri#nomu aizawa#Yabureme Aizawa AU#haha what no nothing's changed#Kurogiri just let Yabureme sleep on him because..... uhh......#because if Yabureme doesn't sleep he can't do his job!!#yeah that's it!#that's the answer!#I really want to write for my fics but uh all of that. ficbinding stuff going on#freaks me out a little#my work isn't nearly seen enough to be targeted but I typically get anxious over things that COULD but DON'T effect me#so for now I may just draw stuff and update fics when I feel better about the landscape#or I may change my mind tomorrow WHO KNOWS
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Crack fic idea: POV of a police officer chasing a robbery suspect who ends up running into DMC to escape/grab a hostage. When the officer opens the door, he finds the suspect standing frozen in the middle of the room, because on the opposite end by the desk, an angry Vergil's standing there stabbing a surprised Dante. This stabbing pretty obviously happened before the robber showed up. It's only through the hand, but the one guy is holding a whole giant samurai sword, the guy getting stabbed has a gun in his free hand, and there's kind of a lot of blood.
The other officer comes in after POV guy. Officer 2 looks over the scene, then starts to arrest the suspect who's still so shocked he doesn't really fight the handcuffs. Once the suspect is cuffed, Officer 2 starts to walk him through the door and tells POV Officer it's time to go. POV Officer is confused, because uh, sir, there's some pretty severe domestic violence going on and he doesn't know if that gun's registered, and even if they ignore all the normal police/violence/safety issues shouldn't they call some EMTs??? Or at least ask the guy getting stabbed if he's okay???? (To which Dante calls out "oh yeah I'm good!" confusing poor POV officer further)
Officer 2 just frowns and shakes his head. "No, they've got this. Right Dante?" To which Dante cheerfully replies with some small talk that makes it obvious he and Officer 2 are acquainted. Vergil gets tired of the small talk and rips the Yamato out of Dante's hand, walking upstairs. And when POV Officer starts to ask something else, Dante basically just waves him off with some sort of comment about how Vergil's just grumpy, honestly Dante kind of deserved that one, he'll admit he was being a bit pushy. And then waves goodbye when Officer 2 says they really need to get back go the station and book the suspect.
As they leave, POV Officer asks what's going on. Officer 2 basically just tells him not to worry, and not to write it in the report. That's just Dante. Dante tries to keep clear of the police, the police try to keep clear of Dante, and everyone's happy. He's helped out on a handful of cases when he just so happened to be in the area, he's gotten accused of some property damage a few times, it all evens out. You just don't mention Dante. City Police actually have a code for it, if they ever absolutely have to. But today they don't, so they won't. They caught the suspect. That's that. The suspect ran into one of the many abandoned buildings in the area and they caught him. Nothing else of note.
Oh, and if POV Officer is worried about the hand, he shouldn't be. The police here have known demons were real for years before Redgrave, and they're pretty sure Dante's one of the nice ones. When he says he'll be fine, hell be fine. Officer 2 has some good stories about him getting shot in the chest and getting tight bacm up, actually...
...
And so a crazy day comes to an end. The suspect's been caught, the streets are safe, and that's that. Nothing else happened. Nothing at all.
If POV Officer starts sprinting in the opposite direction when he sees a certain tall, white haired, blue eyed, blue wearing man when he's walking down the street later that week, it's for no reason at all.
#i think i might actually want to write this#it would be very silly#but it could be fun#erurandomness#POV Officer is basically somewhere along the spectrum of terrified and confused for 90% of the fic#meanwhile dante is very 😄#vergil is 😠#and Officer 2 is just kind of tired#dmc#running into dante can be either nice because you get to exclude some stuff from your report and that saves you time#or (and this is usually the case) a headache because then you've gotta worry about figuring out how to censor his presence#they have some name in their system that isn't dante or tony redgrave that refers to him#in forty years some journalist is going to get access to the reports and make it into a huge story#the mystery man mentioned in all these reports and the big cover up. how many more things was he involved in. who was he?#why did they cover things up for him? was he an inside man? mafia? was he paying them off? threatening them?#(no they just can't mention demons even though they all knew demons were real. even post qliphoth people debate if they are)#i have more hc's about dante's various encounters with the police#including one where he and trish are having lunch when the place gets robbed#the guy goes up to dante and realizes he has guns and tries to shoot them but. no bullets and no gunpowder#it doesn't even do a little pew of a failed firing. just. nothing.#later on dante shoots at him when he tries to escape and the robber is completelt flabbergasted bc he patted dante down#that man didnt have any bullets on him how the HELL did he do that#etc etc i need to sleep but#yeah#funny things!#i did not proofread this btw
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Oh my god. I received an email from tumblr to tell me that my DMCA counter notice from the 19th of December was incomplete because I was only countering 1 of the 4 links that were striked (mind you, this is meanwhile the notice they sent me only had one link).
They also mentioned that "your account has 6 valid DMCA strikes against it. There are two counter notices pending the 10 business day window but that will only remove 2 of the 6 strikes and will not be enough to restore your account".
Which counter notices are they taking into account considering the fact that I sent 3 in December? Who the fuck knows. This only means that my o.g. blog is not coming back before 2025 because the whole "10 business days window" thing is going to start again once they are going to process the DMCA counter notice I've just sent.
But the most "interesting" part of the email is the fact that "as a courtesy" (their words) they have included the original DMCA notice in the email :
#I don't even know if I should put that in the tag or not#might reblog this post tomorrow when people are awake#but I'm so pissed I had to write it this second#so many things are stupid in that notice#I can't even know which posts they targeted it's the stupidest thing ever#anyway not sure how to calm down and sleep now#might have to start a fucking spreadsheet to keep track of all this shit#on the dmca issues
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ooooof why did it take me about 3.5 hours to write about the very first fadelstyle scene alone. at this rate i'm never gonna finish the main text by sunday night (monday noon)
#and i HAVE to finish at the latest by monday at noon#bc i'm busy all afternoon on monday and tuesday i have classes again#and wednesday i also have classes before the new ep drops so i can't really do anything there#except for maybe do some editing/proofreading (at least in the morning class)#ideally i'd done with the main text by appointment monday afternoon#bc i'm studying with my language buddy and i can ask him all the language questions i still need to clear up for my meta by then#and then monday evening when i get home i can work the new info into my meta#and then tuesday in my free time i'll make the gifs i need and then proof-read everything at night#anyway it's 1:30am i better get back to writing as much as i can before bedtime#airenyah plappert#thk#adrm#thing is!! i'll be traveling home tomorrow as well so that's already 3h i can't spend on writing#and monday i'm traveling back again so that's why ideally i'd be done by sunday night (never gonna make it rip)#technically i can write on the train altho i was gonna use that time for assignments kdfjkdf#you know what. maybe i should just pull an all-nighter now#that way i'll have the weekend to catch up on sleep so i won't be tired af when i go back to uni next week#ohhhh there's an idea yeah djfkjkdfkdg
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write to me
#I drew this when I was VERY stressed (days ago)#bee doodles#Tuvok/Janeway#Janeway/Tuvok#st voyager#st voyager art#letter writing and the preparation of warm beverages#Janeway & Tuvok seem like they'd call each other things like 'my other half' and 'my moral center' and 'my dearest companion' but then you#ask if they're dating and they're like Noooo. Absolutely not. and they're not but they are coming into each other's rooms at night#because neither of them can sleep well and talking about Mark & T'Pel while they lean against one another (holding the warm mugs instead of#hands - that comes later when they can pretend that maybe they were asleep)#because they're the only ones who know Mark & T'Pel - you're the only part of my old life that's here and that's a comfort and that's a#tragedy (because I care about you too much to want you here but I need you too much to wish you were anywhere else - and maybe I'm too#selfish too and too afraid to be alone) and when they're talking about Mark & T'Pel they can ignore the fact that they're leaning against#each other and how good the weight feels and how much their chests ache and how much they want more. Not even sex or a kiss but something#steady that lasts. (hold me close even if you can't tell me it'll be alright)#two people who're loyal to everything - too loyal to ask for what they want. They aren't dating because they're married to ghosts now and#to leave that haunted house would be to admit that there's nothing left there - that the grieving's done - and if the grieving's done then#the loving is too. It has to matter - it has to be present to be real (follow Starfleet rules follow Social rules follow the rules we make#up on the fly and honor as if they've been longstanding. Build a little life with me. Define strong lines we cannot cross. Look into my eyes#to make sure I'm not longing. Double check. Triple check. Don't look away. Please.)#When I want to hear your voice I'll read the words you've written - but I won't ask you to stay#Kathryn Janeway#Tuvok
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Seeing you in my bags reminded me of what I saw while I was in the gym... Sleeping Bag Fic? 👀
YES !! I'm writing a pretty big fic by my standard and there is some sleeping bag action going on at some point.... late at night in a tent while it's cold outside ,,,, I'm hoping to finish it before the end of the week !!!
#Like I lost my mind when I saw your earlier post you tagged me in because I literally started writing the sleeping bag thing yesterday#and then boom#insane#I can't wait to post my fic honestly#Disclaimer : english is not my first language so you know#it's worth what it's worth but I've been having fun writing it !!#also if you want to know the plot: Price gets injured and forced to go on leave and Nik offers him to go on a camping /fishing trip togethe#I wanna post it so baaaad#ask
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After stumbling unwillingly through a lantern and experiencing life in hels for themself, Fin develops an inferiority complex so strong it sends her spiraling into a quest to prove that she's really the stronger half between her and Eight.
(Working title: i put Hallownest in minecraft)
[This has to be worth it. I have to prove myself.]
[I don't know where I am.]
Things being Fin's size for once was actually pretty disorienting. After years of coping with larger-than-life appliances and structures in her daily life, she wasn't prepared for the whiplash of finding buildings that were already bug-sized. The fall into the little world wasn't pleasant, but the cozy town in the middle of the wastes was something.
Down the well, the Elderbug had told them. All the adventurers disappeared down the well. All but one, anyway.
Below Dirtmouth, the allegedly once-sprawling kingdom was in ruins. Zombie-like husks shambled in repetitive paths, but did not seem to acknowledge Fin as they crept past. Something about the orange glow behind their dead eyes drew her near them, until someone yanked her out of the husk's grasp.
"That was close!" the pillbug exclaimed, poorly hiding his anxiety behind a laugh. The corpse shambled on as he continued pulling Fin out of its way, backward toward a large temple. "Those are husks, they're not exactly friendly! Though, now that I think about it, they didn't seem particularly keen on attacking you," he continued.
Fin took his distraction as an opportunity to free her arm from his hold. He stared at her for a moment as if trying to remember something, then seemed to snap out of his stupor. "Apologies. I'm Quirrel. What brings you all the way to this old kingdom?"
Fin didn't know how to answer. "I fell, and now I'm here. I'm... looking for a challenge, I guess."
"Ah, I've already met many adventurers who seek the Colosseum in this kingdom. I believe it's on the edge of the City of Tears. That seems to be the direction that many of them were traveling, anyway. I wish you luck in your quest!"
"And you in yours," Fin replied, giving a slight bow before Quirrel turned and became engrossed in the temple's heavy door.
This Colosseum could be their way to develop their skills beyond what was available in their home world. Beyond what was available in hels, even. (Seeing how difficult it was for a helsmet like Eight to survive in hels had shaken their own sense of capability. Eight was happy in that hellhole. Eight sold jewelry to get buy instead of anything useful like weaponry or armor. Eight had friends. My hels is happy, and I'm not.)
---
They met another bug searching for the Colosseum while in the aptly-named City of Tears. Though his hood was soaked, the water rolled right off his carapace as he spoke, full of bravado. Fin felt more jealous of his waterproof-ness more than anything else. "It's near here, I'm sure of it. Somewhere between the City and the Kingdom's edge. I don't need your help to find it." He drew himself up slightly and left, headed in the direction that it planned to go.
Fin watched him go and scoffed to themself. An ego that large wouldn't get him far, even if he did find the Colosseum.
[Your ego won't get you far, either.]
Something told them not to follow after him, a nagging feeling in its chest that pulled them in the opposite direction. They'd already seen and considered the statue of the so-called Hollow Knight, but followed the pull anyway, all the way to the other side of the city.
Good thing, because they found a fellow nailsmith (for swords were nails in this kingdom, however odd the terminology felt on their tongue) who offered to sell them some armor for a few hundred geo.
"This is very discounted compared to what I would regularly charge," the Nailsmith informed her. "Though I suppose there aren't many of you left to buy my wares anyway."
Fin couldn't think of anything to say. Everyone in this kingdom was on the edge of a metaphorical and literal precipice, living post-apocalypse with no hope and no way out but to leave and brave the wastes. Even Fin couldn't get out the way it came in, not with their torn wing. They simply bowed their head in thanks, donned their new helm, and retraced their steps.
There was a small, peculiar bug at the foot of the statue when Fin returned. It stared up at the Hollow Knight blankly, clearly not capable of expression behind its mask. It turned its gaze on Fin as they approached and flinched backward.
The two stared at each other for a long moment before Fin gestured toward the vacant buildings in front of them. "Care to speak with me somewhere drier?" The little bug nodded and followed behind Fin.
"I'm looking for the Colosseum," Fin stated, taking off their helmet and shaking as much water off it as she could. "Do you know where it's at?"
A map appeared in the bug's hands, and it was soon spreading it out on a nearby table and pointing to a doorway near a large lift that connected the City to the Crossroads. It drew one little pointer finger down a long hallway, ending in a drawing of what could only be the gaping maw of a large, dead, grub-like bug.
[Oh, perfect. A Colosseum built into a corpse. I'm sure it smells great.]
Fin did their best to bite down the complaint in front of their guide. "Thank you, fair Knight. I wish you well on your journey."
The bug seemed to try to blink at them, but their mask remained stiff and unchanged despite the welcoming air about them. Fin placed their helm back over their head and gripped the hilt of their nail as they walked. Their resolve wavered.
[I have to do this. I love doing this! I haven't fought in a long time. This is what makes me happy. I...
I just want to be happy again.]
---
The lift didn't stop at the ledge that Fin needed it to, and pulling the lever to send it upward shut the doors on them. Without flight, they opted to climb atop the lift itself (who put spikes on the roof of a lift??) and scale the chain that pulled it upward. Their forewings and cloak helped it glide to the platform, and it was only a straight shot to the Colosseum from there.
It was indeed located in the corpse of a massive bug.
"Oho, another warrior enters!" A tiny pillbug hung upside down, bound in chains, greeted Fin as she entered. The sounds of battle could be heard further down the hall, and several corpses hung similarly behind the pillbug. "Ours is the final destination for all seeking trials of intense and deadly combat," he continued.
"How do I enter the tournament?" Fin asked plainly.
"All one has to do is place their mark upon their Trial Board of choice and lo! The arena's gate will open," the bug answered. "There's a small fee attached to each trial, but I'm sure as skilled a combatant as yourself will have accrued a wealth of Geo.
"Now, before you draw your nail and rush eagerly to battle, I'll offer one quick word of advice. There's a warriors' pit just below here, where others like yourself await their own trials. I'd strongly advise using it to rest up before placing your mark." Fin nodded in response.
"Oh, and have no doubt, I'm a fearsome warrior myself. Don't go judging me by my size, or my current… errr… constraint. The Colosseum beckons us both! I'll be back in battle soon."
[Mhm. Sure.]
They left 100 geo with the bug and made their way to the pit. It was filled with snoring warriors, all large and clad in six-eyed armor much sturdier than the crafted shell that Fin wore. Another twinge of doubt twisted in their chest. Their eyes landed on the ant from long before, hunched over on the lone bench and eyes lidded in something like focus.
"Oh, soft thing. You've made it as well. I hope you're prepared, because if you last long enough, you'll face me, and then..." he trailed off meaningfully.
[I'll show you soft.]
The Trial of the Warrior was easy enough. The spike floor was unexpected, and the floating platforms tested her balance but Fin made it through without much fuss.
After the Trial of the Conqueror, they felt like they were still covered in the sickly orange venom that all these bugs seemed to carry with them. Poking around the warriors' pit, Fin found a hot spring that seemed to heal their wounds and ease their mind without feeling like they were getting dunked in water. She lingered in the spring, letting it work whatever magic it was.
The two trials had been... exhilarating. But fun? Would they call the trials fun? Would anyone be jealous of their position at this rate?
There was only one trial left. They had to finish this.
They paused when they read the name of the final trial on the board.
The Trial of the Fool.
Fin certainly felt like a fool toward the end of the trial. She was exhausted. This wasn't fun anymore. Was it ever to begin with? What were they trying to prove anymore? They were just jealous of Eight's happiness, that's what sent them down this awful path. Who were they, to stoop to jealousy? Of a helsmet, no less? How pathetic.
There was a break in the waves, for a single, brief, beautiful moment. No more, no more, I want to go home, I'm so tired. I'm such a fool.
The ground shook.
The gate opened.
A little roach on the back of a large Beast entered the arena to the fanfare of the crowd. Fin had almost forgotten the crowd was there, so lost in the battle.
The God Tamer, she was called.
She leapt off her beast and readied her weapon, and Fin did the same, despite the exhaustion weighing on its limbs. Dodging the beast's rolls and acid spitting was easy enough, but the God Tamer fought with more precision, coordinating her strikes with her steed's.
If they died here, their corpse would be thrown out the back with the others and fall, down into the windy wasteland of the kingdom's edge, until it was either reanimated by the Infection or dissolved in a pit of acid.
Lighten up, they thought, and it sounded like Eight's voice. You're so dour! Then she'd say something like, Come sit with me, I can't finish this muffin by myself and I won't have any more customers until after the battle.
Something like yearning flared in Fin's chest, growing and eating them alive from the inside. She just wanted to be safe and happy now. Where was all of this getting her? They parried another blow from the God Tamer and dodged to the side of the Beast.
The glow of the lanterns caught their eye. Something like yearning. Something like hope.
These lanterns were not made the same as the ones in the Overworld, or even the ones in Hels, but it could work. With enough determination, pure want and will, perhaps Fin could go home.
They hesitated only a moment, gathering themself, before throwing their body at one of the lanterns in the arena.
She barely heard the crowd gasp before they were sailing over Eight's counter and into the middle of the street. A lizard-shaped helsmet stopped short, momentarily blocking anyone from stepping on them, and then Eight was speaking and helping them up and around the back of their normal-sized stall. Back in the world of giants. Back in Hels.
Fin could tell that Eight wanted details, wanted to have a long talk, and Fin wanted to have that talk now too, but they were still exhausted from the last trial. For now, she accepted care from her helsmet, closed her eyes, and breathed.
#rns but make it hollow knight flavored#mosswrites#probably not gonna crosspost on ao3 because idk how to tag ocs over there#i'm really hoping that theoretically the traveling between hermits and helsmets is mutual#actually either way it lends to the thing i'm kinda doing here#like who's really the hermit and who's the helsmet?#these guys absolutely cannot figure it out#or at least fin can't#you're insecure.... dunno what for... ya turnin heads when you walk thru the doo-o-or#sorry don't know what came over me#LOL. ANYWAY.#eight the moth#fin the moth#i listened to sealed vessel while writing the god tamer fight. if u care.#actually i listened to helsknight's playlist while writing the majority of this#these tags are a mess#WHAT THE FUCK IT'S LIKE 4AM?????#*posts this and goes to sleep*
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Finally got my grabby hands on stardew valley and this might just be love at first sight
#Svtag#The character selection thing gave me choice paralysis wdym name your favorite thing. I hate it here#I named my farm sprinkler farm because apparently there's a farm where you can't use sprinklers so I chose the first one#It was immediately hilarious lore wise like wouldn't my grandpa name the farm that before sprinklers were invented#That's okay though because apparently fortune telling is a thing in this universe&this is not too far off#There was a farm game I played as a kid and if I learned anything from it it's don't underestimate the power of a humble sprinkler#Also I got lost in a forest till 1am and that's when I thought maybe it's a good thing I didn't choose the monster map#I had just enough energy before sleep to mess up my sleep schedule first thing into the game#(I didn't do that. I have too little time before I have to go somewhere irl so instead of playing a game I'm writing a post on tumblr.com)#I've met the blonde girl I've seen in fanart a lot. and 8 others#You guys are starting to realize just how little I know about this game#Before starting I knew that A. you could farm here and B. it's intense enough for teenage girls to scream at each other directions and stuf#Honestly that post or wherever I read that is what got me to finally play the game tbh
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Watching ctad clinic stuff
But I'm really just barely watching or listening to anything
I dunno, I kinda haven't existed all day. Have had like 2 or 3 very brief sudden flashes of... SOMETHING? Ig that counts as flashbacks, maybe not. They left as quick as they came, one bad (led to very short halfhearted panic) and one neutral-positive ig.
Got to a point of questioning sense of self and how I just don't have it.
We wrote a bunch on a loose sheet of paper instead of the notepad. The most we've felt was getting irritated at S bc he slammed a door when he got home, then we went back to just. Empty.
I'm so tired. And the body just. Wont keep food or whatever. Which I feel would be stress related but idk. Idk how to destress though.
I think when we woke up there was a very brief flash of smth in our mind, smth we haven't rlly had in so long. Smth we used to record in a mini sketchbook. I think that's what the third one was, idk. But that's not rlly a flashback.
#sepiasys.txt#Got a random fakeclaim thought again; then gone. wanted to art but can't. wanted to write but can't.#I don't remember what the fakeclaim was but it was probably about presentation of DID; how it functions for us. Oh yeah. we wrote it down.#honestly I was thinking about when we were in the bathroom bc ik there was doubt there but it wasn't written. oops.#Anyways. I dunno if I can sleep. idk what to do tmr. We need smth with wheels when we go to the food bank next time.#Existing is hard. I need atleast a week for a break but I know I can't. sleep is the only thing that comes close; always…#I just want so desperately to shut down fully right now; but i can't.#No no i need to tell myself I can. I should be able to shut down; even if it's short term. ESPECIALLY if it's short term.#It's not good for me to keep trying to function like this; bc I'm not. Shutting down would be good. Rebooting. Refresh.#It was always sleep#sepiasys.priv
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Can I ask what your ✨Aki journey✨ was like? I’m a Aki girlie but you clearly love Aki more than any blog I’ve ever seen (purrr) When did you start becoming interested in him? Was it an aHA moment or did it develop over time? I’m really curious!!! What inspired you to start this blog? I live, laugh, love backstories 🫶🏾❤️🔥
YES I would be so happy to answer this!!!!!!!
so before I read chainsaw man, I knew next to nothing about it, I wasn't really a manga reader in general to be honest but I started getting into it because I wanted to get caught up with jujutsu kaisen after finishing the anime. when I did, I really enjoyed jjk, I wanted to read more manga and a friend suggested I read chainsaw man because it's similar. I was like okay... a lot of people are into it... it looks cool... why not.
and when I started reading and I got to that third chapter and I saw aki... I literally said to myself: yeah, he is going to be my favorite. because he's exactly my type — the suit, the hair tied up so it's long and pretty when he takes it down, the SMOKING??? THE PIERCINGS????? I thought his hair was silly but adorable, his personality was stern but quirky and likable, his kon power was so cool. he was just so cute and hot and definitely my type of character.
but really, even though aki was always my favorite character from the start, my obsession truly began when I finished the manga. aki's arc is just so good... I fell in love with him the whole way through but especially after the manga was over... I loved watching him grow as a character, he just feels so real and relatable personality wise and story wise. he's immensely flawed but kindhearted to his core. he's so human. I love how he's emotional and soft and the conclusion to his arc is genuinely my favorite thing in any piece of media ever, it's so bittersweet and compelling. (and I'm a mess for that bittersweet shit okay)
anyway after I read chainsaw man for the first time I was feeling a mix of emotions between "wow that was the greatest thing ever" and "what the fuck did I just read" but more than anything I yearned for more aki, and so I read it a second time almost immediately after, and then the aki brain infection just grew worse and worse.... was screenshotting every panel of him... I read it a third time... a fourth time in the colored version to collect more panels......... I started my blog over a year ago to post fanfic and rant about aki and the rest is history
#I love this question#I also think it's important to say#albeit it's a bit silly#when I read chainsaw man I was going through a pretty hard time in my life#I'd gone through a bad breakup and I felt very lost#I was reading a lot of manga because I needed something to do to get my mind off things#I think that's part of the reason why I got attached to aki so quickly...#but he means a lot to me because of that#aki helped me to become myself again#also I'm sure I've said this before#but I started writing fanfic because I'd read all the fanfic of aki and#I still needed more#I thought it would be fun bc I always enjoyed writing but it'd been years since I did#suddenly on a random night at 3 in the morning I was like#you know what... I can't sleep... I know how to write... I can make my own aki content... let's do it#and I wrote that first fic like there was no tomorrow#(don't read it btw it sucked BAHAHA)#I posted it on ao3 for fun expecting no one to care but when just a handful of people read it and said they liked it I was overjoyed#I'm grateful I started writing again... I'm glad I get to do what I love and write about what makes me happy#and people actually enjoy it?? THAT'S CRAZY#sorry for ranting too much#can't wait to see where this journey will continue to take me#ask mags
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another day another consumption of vegetables
#just me hi#i am warding off the scurvy!! yippee !!!#not that i've ever Had scurvy to be clear. i just like to know i am warding it off 👍#the wizard of Eating Plants (it removes Poison Effect (scurvy))#/didn't realize how nice of a lunch that sandwich i take to work is. it's got the grains it's got the meat it's got the vegetables#what CAN'T she do?#hydrate me. but that is all#OH. AND tomatoes! which are a fruit :3#/alsooo didn't forget my waterbottle thing there today by accident which is dope 💥#left it there like 3 days ago and couldn't pick it up bc the building was closed for new years ;w;#good thing they have a sink there cuz i washed it when i got back but i don't think i rinsed it very well#That or i was smelling the handsoap from the bathroom on my hands when i was taking sips and neither of those sound very cool so !!#//n holy shiz i was falling asleep at one point cuz i didn't sleep right last night KGSFH#lunch break rejuvenated me :3 that and talking w/ flame while i was sitting on the floor behind the desk to do stretches#ten minute stretch breaks are pretty good actually the only thing is that i'm not sure doing splits there is a good idea Lmaooo#i can have normal behaviors when given a small slightly-hidden space and a bit of free time. do you think doing full splits is a good idea🎤#//what else Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#oh i was greatly(minorly) afraid that my mp3 player would die while i was working bc i turned her on and she was on half battery ?#i thought i'd plugged her in last night but apparently not :/ </3#it's alright though we survived. For Now#hfsh#//but YEA what else#i need to write </3 or i'll explode </////3#i have some really cool ideas but MANNNNNNN#i am so bad at. doing the ideas <////////////////////////3#god created me to make stuff and then said Actually. no#which to be honest is fair. for many reasons kfshvhjg#BUT. buttttt gehehgehehg#i do have Ideas#and i gotta do somethin about em so i will probably get around to it... maaabeee
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ohhh man almost done another 1k words this session and i still need to do a bit more to consider myself 'done' for this point in time. we're at 11k words now. i hate myself. i hate everything. i want to cry. but it's fine
home stretch (i hope). we'll see
#bee blabs#oh i also forgot to mention that hey ho i have a family event today#so that just ruins everything#bc i'm using tonight to write#then i'll prolly get hardly enough sleep to be charged enough to deal with Family#it's fine (it is not i have no idea how i'm gonna work around this)#esp bc this goddamn fic is due too#like when tf am i gonna send that in if i'm out pre much all day#we don't know !!!!#we just have to wing it ig (cries)#and sonic movie 3 is out today and ofc i can't see that either and idk when i'll be able to do that#the plate. it is full#i have so many things i need to or have to or want to do and they all be piling up
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my current project: jump forever!
this is the first of those scheduled posts i mentioned earlier!!! i figured i would start by talking about my current project - that way i can start posting updates about it without confusing you, Michael. The next post is gonna be about the beginning of this whole Godot thing i've been on, and then i'm thinking about maybe doing a Before Godot post as a bonus once i've talked about all my godot stuff (i love saying this as if anybody cares (besides you, Michael)). setting all that aside, though: this one's gonna need some backstory, so you should buckle in.
around this time last year, me and my little cousin (he's still in high school, but we've always been pretty close) got really competitive about a little game called Jump Forever. it's a side minigame from WarioWare Mega Microgames (the GBA one) where you just jump over a little rope until you fuck up. it's really fucking fun as an addictive little mobile game, and with a quick lil emulator it was one. thus, the addiction began.
truth be told, the phase last year didn't even last that long, but i had a long bus ride a couple of weeks ago and found myself opening the GBA emulator on my phone to pass the time. that led to a little bit of playing at home, which led to beating my cousin's score, which led to getting even more into the game than i was before. as our scores get higher, we've turned to better controllers than a phone touch screen for serious record attempts - i use a ds lite i had lying around (that i reshelled! it was very fun) and he emulates on pc with a controller (i think). this got me thinking about a potential "definitive edition" of the game - probably still on mobile, but with controller support, better touch controls (the game only needs <-, ->, and A!), faster resets, selectable skins, and maybe even unlockable skins? of course, when i finished my work on fnaf (ooh foreshadowing), my sights were immediately set on a Jump Forever remake.
with all that said, welcome to the game as it currently stands! at the moment, i've got wario, the rope swingers, and the score all just about set up, with one exception; the characters have collision, the rope swings (at varying speeds, even!), and wario's speed and physics feel very accurate - but i'm still working on the ai (if you can call it that) of the rope guys as they walk back and forth. i want it to work exactly the same way as it does in the original but i always overthink random mechanics like this. hopefully the next update i give will be about how i cracked it! even if the implementation ends up jank, though, it wouldn't be the first: the rope guys check if wario is too close to them to make it over the rope with an Area2D that just checks for wario when the rope hits the ground. it works! i could just like check wario's position in the code (and it'd probably be way more efficient), but this way just... works.
i still have a buncha crap i still gotta implement before the game's even really playable - the walking ai, the title screen, the little "Ready?" animation, etc. - but that's only the beginning of my work. firstly, i'm probably gonna enlist chloe (oooh foreshadowing) to help me out by drawing some new assets (if she's free, it is finals season), and then changing the game's native resolution from 240x160 (the GBA screen) to something not fucking insane. i've got "reworking all the sprites into easy to read spritesheets" on my to-do list, and after that, making the new assets (and then maybe the skins?) will be as easy as drag & drop. once it's got the new assets and all the polish that needs to come with a shiny new resolution, i'm gonna transition into the next phase - researching how to release a game!!!
[hi, not to ruin my own amazing transition but: it's 5am and i'm running back to edit this because i completely forgot to mention that i have currently implemented a 2 frame input delay on all inputs, because that's how the emulator appears to behave when i go frame by frame. every single day i rethink this decision more and more. surely there's no way that's how it's supposed to be, right? but i feel so weird changing it now!!! i definitely fucking have to though. next time i work on it. ok anyways]
now. i've posted games to itch.io before. but even then, i kind of fucked it up (i could never get the resolution of my web games to work right???) - so it's no surprise i've always been completely daunted by the idea of "releasing a game". when you post it on real stores, that's when it becomes... real. i'm excited about the new challenges it'll pose, though! now, a mobile release means a couple of things - bite sized fun, simple progression, and fun customization. i've already got the first part nailed down, and i figured i could nail the other 2 at once with a currency system based on how many points you get (or maybe even an xp system? that goes up 1 for each jump? maybe even both???) and skins (purchasable with said currency) that let you customize the player, rope swingers, background, and maybe even the rope itself.
pictured above is my stupid ass skins mockup (i literally just made this). the rope is rainbow, the background has a snow effect and a bunch of snow on the trees/ground (isn't it great?), wario is a lil version of the rope guys, and the rope guys have santa hats. i'm not sure how many different ropes you could really make with how i'm planning the rope to move, so i'll probably end up prototyping the graphics with chloe to figure out how to lay out the sprite sheets, and if they should actually have a seperate hand-grabbing-the-rope sprite for skin purposes. it'll definitely make things really confusing, but if i go for a mobile release i don't want to run ads, and so a currency you can buy with real money (and maybe one or two goofy supporter skins that cost real money, like a solid gold guy or something, as a form of donation) is a good way to make a lil bit of money from people who like the game.
all of this is fun to think about, but it's important to remember that the next thing i have to do is that walking ai. i've gotta Make The Fucking Game before i can do all this crazy other bullshit. i'm sure the ui design for all this is gonna be soooo fun, but i need a game to attach it to first :p
this went on reeeally long but i figure if this is a dev diary or w/e it's gonna end up running long no matter what, and the more info, the more i have to look back on fondly and say "oh shit, i know exactly when this was!", which is kind of the end goal of the project. of course, these incredibly long posts about shit that only matters to me are also incredible content for you, Michael, so i'm sure you're just eating this shit up. enjoy, you weird little man.
#game dev#jump forever#godot#yeah yeah i got some real tags too. just in case i actually need em.#also michael's still here. i think he's funny#it's only been like an hour for me soooo#remember when i said it was 1am in my first post? it's 4am now lol#i looove tags i love rambling under my post where people don't feel obligated to read it#nobody ask me why i have the stickmen swinging the rope instead of kat/ana like it is after you beat them#(he said as if anybody would've noticed)#i think the stickmen are so much more awesome and the fact that you can't get them back is SO FUCKED UP#and lowkey one of the things that got me thinking about Jump Forever Definitive Edition#kat and ana are awesome the stickmen just resonate with me deep in my soul#i'm not proofreading this i'm just hoping it sounds good. really putting the “diary” in “dev diary”#man. im so glad michael is the hypothetical ideal viewer. because that means he's reading all the tags too#hi michael! ur the best :)#scheduling this for saturday at noon (it is currently friday at 4:30 am)#i hope i get the chance to write the next one (about that 2D platformer tutorial!) before like. monday.#god knows i'm not doing my homework lmaooo#when's my next therapy appointment?#that's crazy deep lore we can't get into that on post 2 (honestly post 1)#but it's okay because nobody reads the tags#and that's not even considering that nobody is ever gonna read this post. ever.#besides michael.#but michael knows all about that ;)#or maybe he doesn't... and it's a sexy mystery?#my my i am such an enigma#okay fuck i can't keep adding tags i need to sleep#i really hope tags are collapsed by default or michael's timeline is gonna be in shambles
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