#things I write when I can't sleep

[aceofshitposts]

Contrary to popular belief Tim is actually well aware of the importance of sleep. Tim knows that the body needs sleep to function optimally, that he needs to get more of it and imbibe less caffeine. That would all be well and good, if his body would let him.

Tim's no stranger to insomnia. Has suffered sleepless nights staring at the inside of his eyelids over and over until... Well, if he wasn't going to get any sleep anyway he might as well do something else. Tailing Batman and Robin when he was younger then working on cases, tinkering with gadgets in the early morning hours in the Batcave; anything to maybe force his body past the point of no return so he could actually sleep.

While it's gotten better, Tim still spends more time awake then he does asleep. It might be easier, some nights, but not always.

"I'm heading in early." It's a thankfully quiet night but Tim can feel the exhaustion tugging at his limbs. By his estimation he's gotten a scattered total of ten hours of sleep the last couple days and none of it was particularly restful.

"Alright," comes Oracle's computerized voice, "you okay?"

"Fine. Just feeling a little under the weather." It's true enough and Tim manages to be in bed in his apartment a little after 12:30am.

He just has to close his eyes. Close his eyes, stop thinking...

Two hours pass and Tim still. Can't. Sleep.

Fine then. There's WE reports to review anyway. If he passes out while working on the couch then so be it.

The sun is beginning to rise, Tim's living room cast in a deep orange light when there's a noise at the balcony. Even as tired as he is Tim manages to fish a batarang out from the underside of the coffee table and brandish it at the intruder.

"The hell are you doing awake?"

Who turns out to be the Red Hood in all his armoured glory, a plastic takeout bag dangling from one hand.

Tim drops back onto the couch in a huff, rubbing one hand down his face.

"Honestly couldn't tell you. What're you doing here?"

"Blondie told me you were sick," Jason says simply, placing the plastic bag on the coffee table with a thunk. The helmet follows soon after. "Thought I'd drop off some food as thanks for helping me out the other day, especially if you were doing it while getting sick."

Huh. That's awful... thoughtful of Jason. Unfortunately, Tim wasn't any more sick than he was normally, Stephanie had probably exaggerated the problem just through hearsay.

Jason is looking at him. Scrutinizing him in a way only a bat can.

Tim's never exactly told anyone about his troubles with insomnia, content to let everyone just assume it was by choice. Which was probably an entirely different problem in and of itself.

"Alright, come on," Jason says. Commands, really. He's gone from the other side of the coffee table to grabbing Tim by the bicep and hauling him to his feet in the span of a blink. Or maybe Tim's perception of time has completely deteriorated. One of the two.

"What?" Tim asks belatedly in the middle of being dragged from the livingroom to the bedroom. Jason doesn't answer, instead drawing the blackout curtains to block out the rising sun and... it's not quite a shove, but it's definitely not a suggestion either that Tim lie down.

He disappears out the door leaving Tim to wonder if he actually hallucinated all that. There's noise in the apartment- the fridge door opening, the rustling of a plastic bag, the fridge door closing. Tim expects Jason to leave, sighing into his comforter as he tries to get comfortable. If he's lucky he'll fall asleep in a few hours at this rate.

And then he hears the bedroom door close. Footsteps and a weight on the bed. Warm, strong arms pull Tim in until he's pressed flush against Jason's solid body.

Tim starts to wonder if he did fall asleep on the couch and is currently just. Halluci-dreaming. Or something.

Jason's chest expands, his breath ruffling Tim's hair.

"Stop thinking, babybird," he rumbles, squeezing Tim a little tighter.

Tim closes his eyes and falls asleep in record time.

[artblocked]

Fucked up creature that spawns from the Ultimate Weapon after four souls stew in it for God knows how long honestly

[shishi-neraoiba]

finally managed to doodle the hot rod guy from the mecha au by @keferon

He is so fun

Like I want to draw him in every fun and dynamic position possible

I vehemently think he have to jump in the most limb bending eye catching pose everytime, just because he can, it's my own very personal headcanon belief that is dear to me

I am currently in the middle figuring out how to draw his mecha dancing to bye bye bye send prayers pls ( and the lost light Titan trying and failing too if I can add him )

[shannonsketches]

Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,

Anime:

GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)

VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!

Manga:

GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.

[decarbry]

From the Kurogiri’s meditating post- nice to see him and Yabureme getting along better!

[mariyekos]

Crack fic idea: POV of a police officer chasing a robbery suspect who ends up running into DMC to escape/grab a hostage. When the officer opens the door, he finds the suspect standing frozen in the middle of the room, because on the opposite end by the desk, an angry Vergil's standing there stabbing a surprised Dante. This stabbing pretty obviously happened before the robber showed up. It's only through the hand, but the one guy is holding a whole giant samurai sword, the guy getting stabbed has a gun in his free hand, and there's kind of a lot of blood.

The other officer comes in after POV guy. Officer 2 looks over the scene, then starts to arrest the suspect who's still so shocked he doesn't really fight the handcuffs. Once the suspect is cuffed, Officer 2 starts to walk him through the door and tells POV Officer it's time to go. POV Officer is confused, because uh, sir, there's some pretty severe domestic violence going on and he doesn't know if that gun's registered, and even if they ignore all the normal police/violence/safety issues shouldn't they call some EMTs??? Or at least ask the guy getting stabbed if he's okay???? (To which Dante calls out "oh yeah I'm good!" confusing poor POV officer further)

Officer 2 just frowns and shakes his head. "No, they've got this. Right Dante?" To which Dante cheerfully replies with some small talk that makes it obvious he and Officer 2 are acquainted. Vergil gets tired of the small talk and rips the Yamato out of Dante's hand, walking upstairs. And when POV Officer starts to ask something else, Dante basically just waves him off with some sort of comment about how Vergil's just grumpy, honestly Dante kind of deserved that one, he'll admit he was being a bit pushy. And then waves goodbye when Officer 2 says they really need to get back go the station and book the suspect.

As they leave, POV Officer asks what's going on. Officer 2 basically just tells him not to worry, and not to write it in the report. That's just Dante. Dante tries to keep clear of the police, the police try to keep clear of Dante, and everyone's happy. He's helped out on a handful of cases when he just so happened to be in the area, he's gotten accused of some property damage a few times, it all evens out. You just don't mention Dante. City Police actually have a code for it, if they ever absolutely have to. But today they don't, so they won't. They caught the suspect. That's that. The suspect ran into one of the many abandoned buildings in the area and they caught him. Nothing else of note.

Oh, and if POV Officer is worried about the hand, he shouldn't be. The police here have known demons were real for years before Redgrave, and they're pretty sure Dante's one of the nice ones. When he says he'll be fine, hell be fine. Officer 2 has some good stories about him getting shot in the chest and getting tight bacm up, actually...

...

And so a crazy day comes to an end. The suspect's been caught, the streets are safe, and that's that. Nothing else happened. Nothing at all.

If POV Officer starts sprinting in the opposite direction when he sees a certain tall, white haired, blue eyed, blue wearing man when he's walking down the street later that week, it's for no reason at all.

[kingofthering-two]

Oh my god. I received an email from tumblr to tell me that my DMCA counter notice from the 19th of December was incomplete because I was only countering 1 of the 4 links that were striked (mind you, this is meanwhile the notice they sent me only had one link).

They also mentioned that "your account has 6 valid DMCA strikes against it. There are two counter notices pending the 10 business day window but that will only remove 2 of the 6 strikes and will not be enough to restore your account".

Which counter notices are they taking into account considering the fact that I sent 3 in December? Who the fuck knows. This only means that my o.g. blog is not coming back before 2025 because the whole "10 business days window" thing is going to start again once they are going to process the DMCA counter notice I've just sent.

But the most "interesting" part of the email is the fact that "as a courtesy" (their words) they have included the original DMCA notice in the email :

[airenyah]

ooooof why did it take me about 3.5 hours to write about the very first fadelstyle scene alone. at this rate i'm never gonna finish the main text by sunday night (monday noon)

[bumblingbabooshka]

write to me

[nekrosmos]

Seeing you in my bags reminded me of what I saw while I was in the gym... Sleeping Bag Fic? 👀

YES !! I'm writing a pretty big fic by my standard and there is some sleeping bag action going on at some point.... late at night in a tent while it's cold outside ,,,, I'm hoping to finish it before the end of the week !!!

[nillisaie]

So I need to have two cosplays done by November 1st

One for my mom which is going to be a Link cosplay but red since she loves red and hates green. I need to modify a shirt for the tunic, make the hat and also make some props. I think it's pretty doable

Now for myself, I actually don't know which option I want to try and make/finish: Octavia Goetia, Charlie Morningstar's battle attire, Verosika Mayday or Alastor

Gonna ramble a bit about each cosplans I have and what I currently have and what I need to do/buy/etc

So let's start with Octavia! I was going to wear her last year, but I unfortunately ended up having sewing machine issues. I still don't know what the issue is or how to fix it, but the only thing I need to do is finish sewing the dress and paint the stars on!

Currently, my dress is just basted stitch together? So not very well held together and the fabric is rather stretchy so I'd need to learn a new sewing technique that will probably be a bit time consuming to master to a satisfactory level. I do also need to make a few tiny adjustments to the neck and taking it in here and there and technically also add the sleeves..? Though I can probably omit that for now since the cardigan (?) I'm gonna use is a full long sleeve one. Oh! And also the necklace!

I also planned to use my real hair for this since I unfortunately do not have the arda Stevie in black that I was planning to use since my effing ex wife never returned it to me even though I told him to return all of my stuff and it's discontinued so I can't buy the one wig that I really adored anymore

Anyway

I also actually got Stolas' grimoir to use as a prop but never ended up using it. I'm also not making the tail for now. That'd be a future upgrade thing

The next cosplay I could make is Verosika Mayday! I was finally able to find the perfect coat to modify for her! I just need to shorten it and technically remake the sleeves..? But the sleeves are fine actually, I can leave it as is for now

As for the outfit, I actually plan to crochet it since I just do not have the space to work with fabric and with my disability, crocheting is just so much easier on my body imo

I'm not sure which outfit I want to make though... I will need to buy yarn regardless. I think the white and black one would be easier because it's just a tube for the most part though I do worry a bit about stretch making the fit a bit difficult to figure out.. Also she wears a pair of sunglasses with this outfit which would be pretty neat if I can make like fake little clip ons to wear over my prescription lenses since I'm pretty blind so it'd be nice if I can keep my glasses on all the time (I know I can, I just personally would like to be accurate and take em off for pictures and such)

I personally think the second outfit is cuter but I don't want to have to put my wig in a ponytail again. Oh! I do in fact have a wig for this, it's just pretty tangled at the moment

And next, Charlie Morningstar!

I do have a wig I can probably use for her. It's a bit darker than I'd like and has a bangless middle part..? So I'd need to fix that. I have some ideas on how to go about that though I could also just try to resew the wefts in if it doesn't work. I also curled it previously so it's a bit of work

The outfit I actually should have enough red yarn though I do want to try and do something different, like a little corset thingy in a darker red to help break things up a bit, add a bit more visual interest so I'd probably have to buy that. And I'll definitely need to buy black yarn for the gloves and leg warmers

I do actually have a pattern in mind that I found a while back so I wouldn't be doing this completely blind. I also actually bought some shoes specifically for this cosplay! Oh, and speaking of which, I can also use these shoes for the second Verosika outfit. Maybe with a pair of white thigh high socks and I can just attach some criss cross X's over it..? If I don't have time for anything else?

Oh and Charlie does have a spear and a shield! I can definitely make the spear. I actually have a wip for Alastor's mic and I thankfully made it so that the mic piece is removable so I can easily swap it for Charlie's or even Vaggie's spear (I also have an almost complete closet cosplay of Vaggie, just need a wig, eye patch and bow. Also to find my skirt for it...)

And finally Alastor! Specifically maybe his Valentine outfits

I do have the hot topic Alastor coat but I don't want to wear that to a con. Especially since I'm only going for one day. I want my outfit to be a bit more special and I don't have the time to figure out his regular outfit

As for the valentine outfits, I actually specifically bought a bunch of yarn to make myself a pair of shorts similar to his 2025 (the left one) pants just because and realized I could also just use it for cosplay and not just daily wear

And also bought a bunch of dress shirts in different colors specifically for Alastor, though the red one I have is a bit on the wider side... The rest of the fit is fine, it's just weirdly wide but hopefully the coat will hide that and if not, I can either try to modify it or dye an extra white shirt I bought just in case. I do also have a black dress shirt, a red vest albeit with no stripes and a black bow tie that I can use for the other Valentine's outfit! I would need to buy suspenders, a red bow tie for the first one and dress pants for the second one, and in general honestly. Probably gloves too

I'd once again just crochet the coat. I don't know how yet, but I need to figure it out regardless for my amigurumi that's been waiting for me to finish...

And the staff I mentioned, it's almost done honestly. Mostly just need to be finished sanding and smoothing it out, also need to add the eye and then paint it

And the wig. Hoo boy. I actually have two wigs that I plan to splice together so it's gonna be a lot of work. And one wig is one that I had previously dyed and that unfortunately ended up staining last time I wore it... So I need to figure out that issue. Maybe just wash it again? And maybe dye it a bit more..? I don't remember if the red is to my liking for Alastor. And basically it's gonna be a lot of work

Though...

Though actually..

I just had a thought

I actually bought a green vest for Alastor. Specifically to try and do a Christmas festive version

And I am attending this con on November 1st

The day after Halloween

What if

What if I show up as Christmas Alastor actually?

I could then just focus on completing the staff and styling the wig and buying some dress pants

Oh! What if, assuming I have time, I also make this coat?

Oh, this would be so stupid, I think I might do it honestly. Maybe I can even try to invest in some LEDs or something. What if I also manage to get those uh Christmas string wreath things..? garland to wrap around the staff or something? Can I get a glowing nose as well? God, this would be so stupid. I think Alastor would approve

But I dunno, if anyone read this far, I would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions

And for reference, last year I made a last minute Eevee closet cosplay for my mom and my sewing machine stopped working so I ended up going as fem Human Alastor last year (it was supposed to be an Alastor inspired outfit that ended up just being Alastor). Also I don't have much actual hands on experience (I've mainly made props before), but I do have like 10+ years of accumulated general cosplay knowledge because broke and disabled

[doyouknowthemossinman]

After stumbling unwillingly through a lantern and experiencing life in hels for themself, Fin develops an inferiority complex so strong it sends her spiraling into a quest to prove that she's really the stronger half between her and Eight.

(Working title: i put Hallownest in minecraft)

[This has to be worth it. I have to prove myself.]

[I don't know where I am.]

Things being Fin's size for once was actually pretty disorienting. After years of coping with larger-than-life appliances and structures in her daily life, she wasn't prepared for the whiplash of finding buildings that were already bug-sized. The fall into the little world wasn't pleasant, but the cozy town in the middle of the wastes was something.

Down the well, the Elderbug had told them. All the adventurers disappeared down the well. All but one, anyway.

Below Dirtmouth, the allegedly once-sprawling kingdom was in ruins. Zombie-like husks shambled in repetitive paths, but did not seem to acknowledge Fin as they crept past. Something about the orange glow behind their dead eyes drew her near them, until someone yanked her out of the husk's grasp.

"That was close!" the pillbug exclaimed, poorly hiding his anxiety behind a laugh. The corpse shambled on as he continued pulling Fin out of its way, backward toward a large temple. "Those are husks, they're not exactly friendly! Though, now that I think about it, they didn't seem particularly keen on attacking you," he continued.

Fin took his distraction as an opportunity to free her arm from his hold. He stared at her for a moment as if trying to remember something, then seemed to snap out of his stupor. "Apologies. I'm Quirrel. What brings you all the way to this old kingdom?"

Fin didn't know how to answer. "I fell, and now I'm here. I'm... looking for a challenge, I guess."

"Ah, I've already met many adventurers who seek the Colosseum in this kingdom. I believe it's on the edge of the City of Tears. That seems to be the direction that many of them were traveling, anyway. I wish you luck in your quest!"

"And you in yours," Fin replied, giving a slight bow before Quirrel turned and became engrossed in the temple's heavy door.

This Colosseum could be their way to develop their skills beyond what was available in their home world. Beyond what was available in hels, even. (Seeing how difficult it was for a helsmet like Eight to survive in hels had shaken their own sense of capability. Eight was happy in that hellhole. Eight sold jewelry to get buy instead of anything useful like weaponry or armor. Eight had friends. My hels is happy, and I'm not.)

---

They met another bug searching for the Colosseum while in the aptly-named City of Tears. Though his hood was soaked, the water rolled right off his carapace as he spoke, full of bravado. Fin felt more jealous of his waterproof-ness more than anything else. "It's near here, I'm sure of it. Somewhere between the City and the Kingdom's edge. I don't need your help to find it." He drew himself up slightly and left, headed in the direction that it planned to go.

Fin watched him go and scoffed to themself. An ego that large wouldn't get him far, even if he did find the Colosseum.

[Your ego won't get you far, either.]

Something told them not to follow after him, a nagging feeling in its chest that pulled them in the opposite direction. They'd already seen and considered the statue of the so-called Hollow Knight, but followed the pull anyway, all the way to the other side of the city.

Good thing, because they found a fellow nailsmith (for swords were nails in this kingdom, however odd the terminology felt on their tongue) who offered to sell them some armor for a few hundred geo.

"This is very discounted compared to what I would regularly charge," the Nailsmith informed her. "Though I suppose there aren't many of you left to buy my wares anyway."

Fin couldn't think of anything to say. Everyone in this kingdom was on the edge of a metaphorical and literal precipice, living post-apocalypse with no hope and no way out but to leave and brave the wastes. Even Fin couldn't get out the way it came in, not with their torn wing. They simply bowed their head in thanks, donned their new helm, and retraced their steps.

There was a small, peculiar bug at the foot of the statue when Fin returned. It stared up at the Hollow Knight blankly, clearly not capable of expression behind its mask. It turned its gaze on Fin as they approached and flinched backward.

The two stared at each other for a long moment before Fin gestured toward the vacant buildings in front of them. "Care to speak with me somewhere drier?" The little bug nodded and followed behind Fin.

"I'm looking for the Colosseum," Fin stated, taking off their helmet and shaking as much water off it as she could. "Do you know where it's at?"

A map appeared in the bug's hands, and it was soon spreading it out on a nearby table and pointing to a doorway near a large lift that connected the City to the Crossroads. It drew one little pointer finger down a long hallway, ending in a drawing of what could only be the gaping maw of a large, dead, grub-like bug.

[Oh, perfect. A Colosseum built into a corpse. I'm sure it smells great.]

Fin did their best to bite down the complaint in front of their guide. "Thank you, fair Knight. I wish you well on your journey."

The bug seemed to try to blink at them, but their mask remained stiff and unchanged despite the welcoming air about them. Fin placed their helm back over their head and gripped the hilt of their nail as they walked. Their resolve wavered.

[I have to do this. I love doing this! I haven't fought in a long time. This is what makes me happy. I...

I just want to be happy again.]

---

The lift didn't stop at the ledge that Fin needed it to, and pulling the lever to send it upward shut the doors on them. Without flight, they opted to climb atop the lift itself (who put spikes on the roof of a lift??) and scale the chain that pulled it upward. Their forewings and cloak helped it glide to the platform, and it was only a straight shot to the Colosseum from there.

It was indeed located in the corpse of a massive bug.

"Oho, another warrior enters!" A tiny pillbug hung upside down, bound in chains, greeted Fin as she entered. The sounds of battle could be heard further down the hall, and several corpses hung similarly behind the pillbug. "Ours is the final destination for all seeking trials of intense and deadly combat," he continued.

"How do I enter the tournament?" Fin asked plainly.

"All one has to do is place their mark upon their Trial Board of choice and lo! The arena's gate will open," the bug answered. "There's a small fee attached to each trial, but I'm sure as skilled a combatant as yourself will have accrued a wealth of Geo.

"Now, before you draw your nail and rush eagerly to battle, I'll offer one quick word of advice. There's a warriors' pit just below here, where others like yourself await their own trials. I'd strongly advise using it to rest up before placing your mark." Fin nodded in response.

"Oh, and have no doubt, I'm a fearsome warrior myself. Don't go judging me by my size, or my current… errr… constraint. The Colosseum beckons us both! I'll be back in battle soon."

[Mhm. Sure.]

They left 100 geo with the bug and made their way to the pit. It was filled with snoring warriors, all large and clad in six-eyed armor much sturdier than the crafted shell that Fin wore. Another twinge of doubt twisted in their chest. Their eyes landed on the ant from long before, hunched over on the lone bench and eyes lidded in something like focus.

"Oh, soft thing. You've made it as well. I hope you're prepared, because if you last long enough, you'll face me, and then..." he trailed off meaningfully.

[I'll show you soft.]

The Trial of the Warrior was easy enough. The spike floor was unexpected, and the floating platforms tested her balance but Fin made it through without much fuss.

After the Trial of the Conqueror, they felt like they were still covered in the sickly orange venom that all these bugs seemed to carry with them. Poking around the warriors' pit, Fin found a hot spring that seemed to heal their wounds and ease their mind without feeling like they were getting dunked in water. She lingered in the spring, letting it work whatever magic it was.

The two trials had been... exhilarating. But fun? Would they call the trials fun? Would anyone be jealous of their position at this rate?

There was only one trial left. They had to finish this.

They paused when they read the name of the final trial on the board.

The Trial of the Fool.

Fin certainly felt like a fool toward the end of the trial. She was exhausted. This wasn't fun anymore. Was it ever to begin with? What were they trying to prove anymore? They were just jealous of Eight's happiness, that's what sent them down this awful path. Who were they, to stoop to jealousy? Of a helsmet, no less? How pathetic.

There was a break in the waves, for a single, brief, beautiful moment. No more, no more, I want to go home, I'm so tired. I'm such a fool.

The ground shook.

The gate opened.

A little roach on the back of a large Beast entered the arena to the fanfare of the crowd. Fin had almost forgotten the crowd was there, so lost in the battle.

The God Tamer, she was called.

She leapt off her beast and readied her weapon, and Fin did the same, despite the exhaustion weighing on its limbs. Dodging the beast's rolls and acid spitting was easy enough, but the God Tamer fought with more precision, coordinating her strikes with her steed's.

If they died here, their corpse would be thrown out the back with the others and fall, down into the windy wasteland of the kingdom's edge, until it was either reanimated by the Infection or dissolved in a pit of acid.

Lighten up, they thought, and it sounded like Eight's voice. You're so dour! Then she'd say something like, Come sit with me, I can't finish this muffin by myself and I won't have any more customers until after the battle.

Something like yearning flared in Fin's chest, growing and eating them alive from the inside. She just wanted to be safe and happy now. Where was all of this getting her? They parried another blow from the God Tamer and dodged to the side of the Beast.

The glow of the lanterns caught their eye. Something like yearning. Something like hope.

These lanterns were not made the same as the ones in the Overworld, or even the ones in Hels, but it could work. With enough determination, pure want and will, perhaps Fin could go home.

They hesitated only a moment, gathering themself, before throwing their body at one of the lanterns in the arena.

She barely heard the crowd gasp before they were sailing over Eight's counter and into the middle of the street. A lizard-shaped helsmet stopped short, momentarily blocking anyone from stepping on them, and then Eight was speaking and helping them up and around the back of their normal-sized stall. Back in the world of giants. Back in Hels.

Fin could tell that Eight wanted details, wanted to have a long talk, and Fin wanted to have that talk now too, but they were still exhausted from the last trial. For now, she accepted care from her helsmet, closed her eyes, and breathed.

[sakurarisen]

Just dropping in as an update: I'm not dead! XD I'm kind of back on a semi-hiatus for a bit, which I should've mentioned weeks ago I'm aware, but haven't had the chance to - There's been a bunch of offline stress creeping up that's sapping my ability to function a lot of the time, and I've been dealing with a couple particular health complications causing mild pain, but enough to keep me distracted from actually being able to write like I want to. On top of that, I've managed to get very sick and have been largely stuck in bed for the better past of over two weeks, with a fuzzy head that keeps the muses awake, but my ability to actually word at bay.

At this point, whatever ability I have to actually write is going to background updates - Some of which will be happening on this blog today, provided the stressors don't decide to be jerks for once - and off-dash rp, as well as working on my thousands of icons I have in my backlog. I'm trying to get back on blog for actual rp stuff as my health fluctuates, but I just wanted to drop in and note I'm not gone - I'm just sick af, and incredibly sorry to anyone looking for me for the sudden (total) radio silence! <3

~Pom

[kjzx]

Finally got my grabby hands on stardew valley and this might just be love at first sight

[sepiasys]

Watching ctad clinic stuff

But I'm really just barely watching or listening to anything

I dunno, I kinda haven't existed all day. Have had like 2 or 3 very brief sudden flashes of... SOMETHING? Ig that counts as flashbacks, maybe not. They left as quick as they came, one bad (led to very short halfhearted panic) and one neutral-positive ig.

Got to a point of questioning sense of self and how I just don't have it.

We wrote a bunch on a loose sheet of paper instead of the notepad. The most we've felt was getting irritated at S bc he slammed a door when he got home, then we went back to just. Empty.

I'm so tired. And the body just. Wont keep food or whatever. Which I feel would be stress related but idk. Idk how to destress though.

I think when we woke up there was a very brief flash of smth in our mind, smth we haven't rlly had in so long. Smth we used to record in a mini sketchbook. I think that's what the third one was, idk. But that's not rlly a flashback.

[meownotgood]

Can I ask what your ✨Aki journey✨ was like? I’m a Aki girlie but you clearly love Aki more than any blog I’ve ever seen (purrr) When did you start becoming interested in him? Was it an aHA moment or did it develop over time? I’m really curious!!! What inspired you to start this blog? I live, laugh, love backstories 🫶🏾❤️‍🔥

YES I would be so happy to answer this!!!!!!!

so before I read chainsaw man, I knew next to nothing about it, I wasn't really a manga reader in general to be honest but I started getting into it because I wanted to get caught up with jujutsu kaisen after finishing the anime. when I did, I really enjoyed jjk, I wanted to read more manga and a friend suggested I read chainsaw man because it's similar. I was like okay... a lot of people are into it... it looks cool... why not.

and when I started reading and I got to that third chapter and I saw aki... I literally said to myself: yeah, he is going to be my favorite. because he's exactly my type — the suit, the hair tied up so it's long and pretty when he takes it down, the SMOKING??? THE PIERCINGS????? I thought his hair was silly but adorable, his personality was stern but quirky and likable, his kon power was so cool. he was just so cute and hot and definitely my type of character.

but really, even though aki was always my favorite character from the start, my obsession truly began when I finished the manga. aki's arc is just so good... I fell in love with him the whole way through but especially after the manga was over... I loved watching him grow as a character, he just feels so real and relatable personality wise and story wise. he's immensely flawed but kindhearted to his core. he's so human. I love how he's emotional and soft and the conclusion to his arc is genuinely my favorite thing in any piece of media ever, it's so bittersweet and compelling. (and I'm a mess for that bittersweet shit okay)

anyway after I read chainsaw man for the first time I was feeling a mix of emotions between "wow that was the greatest thing ever" and "what the fuck did I just read" but more than anything I yearned for more aki, and so I read it a second time almost immediately after, and then the aki brain infection just grew worse and worse.... was screenshotting every panel of him... I read it a third time... a fourth time in the colored version to collect more panels......... I started my blog over a year ago to post fanfic and rant about aki and the rest is history