#things I used to care about a lot and now no longer care about

[dropsnectar]

Pollen and Potions: Bee-men x afab!reader

PART THREE

This is a longer part than the rest, but its all necessary dialogue so it should be fine. More fluffy and romance than smut, BUT!! Their will be smut in the next section! I know I said this will only be 4 parts, but it may actually be more like 5 or 6. Anyway, hope you like!

So. You were starting to learn that using large batches of magic back to back weren't ideal for a young witch's health. It seemed like you might have overdone it, as when you woke you found you had been asleep for TWO WHOLE DAYS. So. If you were going to do magic, it looked like you were going to have to pace yourself, or perhaps use LESS magic.

You put yourself to learning more about witchcraft. The thing was, your grandmother's books didn't really go into the basics, and as witches were so rare, information was hard to find. Of course, the internet was full of supposed witch spells, or frameworks, but it was like throwing dice. Some spells didn't work. Some spells took up WAY too much energy. Some were just… fine? But not what you needed. 

Next you checked out forum sites. Maybe you could find a community through that way? But all you found were psychics and tarot readers. Nice people, but not what you needed.

Whelp. Maybe you needed to look at the issue differently. The environment used to be a beautiful, thriving area. What had changed between now and then? In order to understand a magic ecosystem, you had to understand ecosystems. So, for the rest of the week you busied yourself with ecology study. It was turning out that this project you had adopted on a whim would need a lot more time and breadth of knowledge then you originally thought.

***

When you met with Rena, under Lyith’s friendly gaze, you found that the magic you had cast hadn't waned at all. The flowers had grown beautifully and continued to give magic nectar that created the best honey. Rena was beside herself. “The elders of the hive say they haven't had honey of this quality since they were children! You are really onto something here, little one.”

Rena had now gotten in the habit of calling you little one. Sure, as a Bee-man she was slightly taller than you, but not by much. Also the constant fluttering and floating didn't help. 

“You've been given permission to test your magic on our other gardens as well. As long as we are careful and continue with caution!” Rena babbled. You gave her a small smile and felt Lyiths arm on your shoulder. He laid his head on your other shoulder, leaning his fuzzy head against yours. 

“Whats wrong?”

You wiggled a little. “I'm just having a hard time brainstorming how to do this. I know I said I'd help you guys, but I might not be able to use as much magic as last time. To be honest, I don't really know much about my mana and my limits…” you explained your situation. Expecting there to be disappointment, you were surprised to find none.

“I can’t help but think… How long will this last? One spell isn’t going to cut it for that long. I want to create something that will last for you guys, but that might take a while… and doing just this took all the mana I had. I want to do better. But I don’t want to hurt myself either, especially when I don’t know how this could affect my health in the long run…” The bee-men seemed to be catching on.

“Of course, little one. We wouldn't want you to harm yourself.”

 Lyith also popped up, his voice almost in your ear.

“Us Bee-men also have something like mana. Our magic is not never ending. We would have fixed this situation ourselves if it was.”

Rena reached forward and grabbed your hand, giving it a reassuring pat. “We don't have to do anything today. We can commence whenever you'd like. Our flowers have spread out beautifully and even this is enough.”

You frowned.

“I may have to do this every spring. Or even redo it in the summer…”

“You don’t owe us anything. You are trying your best to do us a kindness. And our hive knows and sees that. We are beyond grateful to you… Its… We’ve needed…We are truly grateful.” His expression fell at the mention of his hive, his antennas drooping. Rena moved forward and held Lyith, a sad expression on her own face.

There was a pause in conversation that grew somewhat awkward.

How do I make this better? You tried to brainstorm, but only one thing came to mind. 

You went over and gave the both of them a big bear hug. It was a tense one, but you tried to adjust your emotions, instead concentrating on how fond you had grown of the two. You tried to shout it as loud as you could through your brain at them.

This seemed to break the spell, as Rena started to laugh. Lyith looked at you affectionately. 

“I know we haven't known each other long, but I just want to say, you can count on me. If you ever need to talk about anything let me know. I'll listen.”

Rena and Lyith hummed in response, returning your group hug with a long squeeze.

Long hugs. The favorite actions of a Bee-men.

After some quiet reassurances, the two of you decided to idle while the two foraged on the edge of the Wood. You walked with them and asked them as many questions you could think of. How old were they? Were they able to do other magics? You had thought Bee-men to be isolated. How come they knew so much about human culture?

Lyith was the one who answered you most of the time. It seemed that bee-man typically lived double the life of a human, with Rena and Lyith being about 45, and 51, Lyith being the oldest. They were in the same season of life as you though!

Bee-man could do some other magics(they didn't go much into what), but they specialized in making their magical honey, which fortified the health and wellbeing of a Bee-men. 

They didn’t say it outright but it seemed like the dip in magic had affected the nutrition of their food source. They kept their own bees and shared honey, but it still wasn't enough, so they had ventured out into human society to buy fruit when it was necessary. They also did trade with neighboring beast-men, the Wolfmen being happy to share their fruit for their Bee’s wax waste. I 

“What exactly do you guys do for fun though?” You asked, trying to lighten the mood.

Lyith smiled. “Late night flying is fun.”

Rena snorted. “You mean late night spying. Lyith has a habit of looking through people's windows.”

Lyith wrinkled his nose at Rena. “If they did not want to be seen they would have drawn the curtains. It's not strange, I am just curious about human life is all.”

Rena reached forward and pinched Lyiths nose. “Poor thing. So bored he must make mischief.”

You looked at Lyith with surprise. His big eyes grew in concern and he pouted at you.

“You are not going to tease me too are you? I promise, I never see anything scandalous. I'm a good little bee.” He fluttered his eyes at you.

You giggled and pushed his shoulder. 

“As long as you're not spying on me I guess it's harmless.”

Lyiths expression shifted to one of his dopey smiles. It always surprised you how innocent he could look despite his size. Was it maybe…

“So… I may have read that you guys are telepathic right?” 

Renas face changed into a smirk. 

“Yes, and?”

“ Well, have you guys ever… used your powers on me?” 

Rena snorted. Lyith gave you an unreadable expression. “We Bee-man are very particular about sharing our heads outside of our hives. But no. We haven't done anything to you if that's what you meant…”

Oh. He was pouting now.

“No! Thats not what I meant! I just… i feel so comfortable around you guys it's almost supernatural. I just. Idk. Wanted to know. Please I didn't mean anything by it!”

Lyith wrinkled his nose at you and Rena continued to seem amused. You felt helpless and got a bit upset with yourself. You did your best to calm yourself down but you were upset. You had so few friends here and you were afraid you blew it. A wave of loneliness swept through you.

Lyith was watching you the whole time, before sighing. “All will be forgiven if you give us some of those fruit tarts you made yesterday.”

You looked at him, shocked. 

“I thought you said you didn't spy on me!”

“I wasn't spying, I just happened to be foraging by the window, and smelled something amazing. It was all incidental.”

“There's sugar in the crust. Won’t your tummy get upset?”

He just smiled. Rena laughed. “He named his price. For offending us, we must get fruit tarts.”

Finally feeling better, the three of you walked(they let you walk!!!) Back to your home. You served them up your tarts, when finally the questions started coming about you. Why did you move here? Do you have any siblings? What were you like as a child?

This went on until dinner time, at which point you decided to shoo your new friends away. “ I'll be back to do the flowers tomorrow. We… we will see what I can do.” You admitted. The two of them smiled at you, hugging you tight for a good three minutes. They always lingered, nuzzling your face and hair, as if they were getting a whiff of you. You could smell their own perfume and tried not to think too much. Their goodbyes always felt so intimate. 

 Rena decided to pepper your face in kisses before they left. Lyith just rolled his eyes at her. When they drew apart you felt empty, like some piece of you was going with them.

***

As always, Lyith picked you up that morning. This time, you made sure to bring a scarf and hat, alongside emergency snacks in your bag. Where he was taking you next was a little longer of a trip, a whole ten minutes to the usual six. That was a long time when you were hurtling through the air.

You were surprised to drop into a small crowd. There were ten Bee-men present besides Rena, who seemed to be communicating silently with them. The air was full of bee noises; humming, purring, the fluttering of wings. The air smelled amazingly fresh, floral and syrupy. It was an odd smell, but it seemed to put you at ease somehow. And maybe a bit peckish.

A Beeman a whole foot and a half taller then Rena fluttered towards you. They bowed, of which you awkwardly returned before they reached forward and took your hand gently. Lyith started,

“This is Elder Bisou. He is the eldest of our hive. He is showing you respect.”

Elder Bisou smiled at you. “Little Witch, I welcome you to our territory. My human is a bit… unused. Please receive our thanks for your efforts.” He took your hand and leaned down so that it met his temple. You could feel the rush of his magic, like your mind was a fish bowl and he was putting a gentle hand on the glass. You could feel his warmth, his deep gratitude through it. 

Your back straightened and you felt water prick your eyelids. You gave him a slow nod, becoming acutely aware just how serious this whole situation actually was. Rena and Lyith had been dancing around it, but the Bee-men must be slowly starving to death. That was the only explanation for the depths of what you had felt.

“I will do my best.” Was all you could reply. 

Lyith, acting as your translator, took you to each Bee-men he could and introduced you. It seemed that some of the elders, as well as some of those who had free time had come to watch the “little witch” work. Most took your hand gently, and sent you a ghost of what their emotions were. There was a sort of film around the emotions, a barrier of sorts. Whether this was on purpose so you wouldn’t be overwhelmed, or just how their telepathy worked, you couldn't tell. 

You did your best to not let your nerves get to you as you dissected the sections of the field where you would be doing your experiments. You didn’t know how these particular flowers would take to your spell, so it was still best to be cautious. The bee-men looked on with interest.

You did your chants in a loud booming fashion, and channeled in as elegant a fashion as you could. Like always, the magic came, and the spell did its work. These flowers were different, like rainbow colored lavender. Rather than letting the magic gush through you, you let it gently trickle out, pacing yourself. When the deeds were done, you still felt sore, and you still held a headache in your temple, but there was no nausea, so growth! 

Once you were done with your work, there was a large excited buzzing throughout the forest. There was clapping, dancing, stomping of feet, pumping of many hands, whoops from Rena and Lyith. One Bee, a worker named Aidenn held a small wooden instrument in his hands and started to play. This triggered a chorus from the Bee-men. There was a harmonizing among the crowd and they started to circle each other, laughing and dancing. A circle of flying, spinning Bee-men formed.

Rena grabbed you by the waist and hoisted you onto her shoulder before joining in the circle of the dance. You giggled as you spun, feeling the giddiness in the air like it was laughing gas. That same pressure filled your mind and a part of your heart started to soar. It was intimate, but not stifling and you loved feeling so close to everyone.

You lifted your hands and, feeling in the spirit, decided to hum along. At some point Rena had taken you in her arms and held you close as they continued to fly in a circle, spinning and perrying, and switching. It was similar to square dancing, where there was a pattern to it. 

At one point, the tune changed and Lyith swooped down from above and grabbed you out of Rena’s arms. She snorted at him but let it happen, joining hands with another passing Bee-men. When Lyith gathered you in his arms, he cradled you as close as possible, surprising you. One hand was gripping firmly around your waist and the other crushing you to him. He landed on the ground, and the rest of the bee-men followed, causing something of a ballroom dance. 

“You did wonderfully today.” He breathed in your ear, causing them to redden. You pulled yourself back a bit to see his face and he was looking at you with such pride and affection it felt like a weight crushing your chest. You moved your hands from his shoulders to reach his own hands. You were shaky, but you wanted to return his feelings somehow. His palms were soft.

This caused him to laugh, a purring sort of trill coming from his throat. You couldn’t help a silly grin form on your face.

“I’m glad you came to my garden.” Was all you could think to say.

He looked at you, with those big black eyes, then reached forward and kissed you on the lips. It was only a peck, but you could feel his joy through it. 

Something complex within you, a mix of happiness, excitement, hope, all of your feelings rose up into your throat. Unable to find the words to express yourself, you took all of those big heavy emotions, wrapped them all up together and kissed him back, right there, in the middle of your makeshift dance floor.

When you pulled away Lyith looked shocked, his bottom lip hanging open. Adorable as usual. 

Rena hollered from the otherside of the gathering, sending out a big whoop. There was laughter, buzzing and an echoing whoop from some of the younger bee-men. Elder Bisou made some clicking sounds, but the sides of his mouth were slightly upturned.

It occurred to you then that you were in the middle of a group of very telepathic monster people. Your cheeks grew hot in embarrassment and you pulled away from Lyith a bit. Your shoes suddenly became very interesting. 

Lyith eventually turned your chin back up to face him. He held a small peaceful smile, before bumping his forehead to yours. He didn’t share his emotions but the affection was still there.

After you grew too tired to dance, you took a seat under a tree, munching on a granola bar. Another one of the Bee-men, a younger drone named Haven, made his way to sit next to you.

“I don’t know if it was mentioned, but honey production has picked up enormously since you agreed to help us. I haven’t felt this great in… well ever! Thank you little witch!”

“I’m not little, but thank you for saying so.” You were starting to get a bit lightheaded now, and not from the dancing. It was possible that some of the symptoms of mana sickness were surfacing a little late.

“You are strong! That is true! Even elder Bisou has said he hasn’t met a human or beastman with mana like yours!” Haven turned his voice down to a whisper, as if he was sharing a secret, “Your magic smells so much like flowers, really, its a huge blessing! In fact, I would eat you up if I could!” He laughed as if he had made a joke. He sighed and looked up dreamily at the sky. “Alas, I am saving myself for when we find our queen.” He wrapped his arms around himself, as if to fend off imaginary suitors.

You wrinkled your nose. “Queen? You don’t have a queen? Isn’t that super bad for bees, I mean bee-men?” 

Heaven tilted his head at you, reminding you of Lyith. 

“Of course. That's why we are all so small and weak.” You stared at him in shock. He put up his hands. “We are doing well though! It's been 20 years since our queen died but we are still here! Oh! There is a hive up north! Any day now, one of their queens' daughters might descend and bless us! Or.. Or we--”

“Little One! You seem like you're getting sick!” Rena Descended from above and put a hand to your forehead.

“You are far too warm! Haven, mind if I take her out of your wings?”

Heaven looked up at Rena, his face a mask of confusion. He eventually gave in though and stood up.

“I should check on Elder Bisou! He might need something!” His voice was flat, obviously fake, but he ran away- flew away with gusto.

Rena took your face into her hands, tilting your head back and forth. Your lightheadedness turned full on dizzy. Rena’s face screwed up in an annoyed expression.

“You overdid it. And after that whole speech about not knowing your limits too..” She gently put a hand on your back and picked you up princess style. You would have been embarrassed, if your brain was functioning properly. Instead your gaze fixed on Rena’s beautiful iridescent wings. The lights were so lovely and they helped ground you. Honestly, everything about Rena was lovely. Well, maybe lovely wasn’t the right word. She was rough around the edges. A tease and a know it all. But she doted on you so, it made you feel a bit overwhelmed. Your gaze shifted from her wings to her lovely nose, pretty sharp for a bee-men. 

Rena started conversing with Lyith about you, pointing her jaw and humming. Huh. Rena was actually incredibly attractive. You had known that before. Maybe it was something about how dizzy everything was. The last time you had felt this way she had been kissing you, her textured tongue pushing nectar down your thoat-

“Little One”

Your mind immediately focused. She was using a demanding tone. 

“Lyith will take you home. Next time, we will only do one spell at a time.” She leaned forward and placed her cool lips to the side of your mouth. Making you blush. Well your face was already heated so you would have blushed. “I will see you again soon. Rest.” And she was off.

You were in Lyith’s arms again. A place you were starting to get comfortable in. He stared at you for a moment, his lips pursed, then sighed loudly. He held your gaze for a moment.

“I do not like this habit you are forming. You will not get sick again, understand?” 

You nodded at him, mind hazy. Sleepy. You were sleepy. 

You didn’t register the fly home, only that the coolness felt nice. You were carried from the porch, into the living room, up the stairs, and laid on your bed. You were covered in warm, delicious blankets. 

You never saw Lyith leave before you passed out. Probably because he tucked himself in right beside you, the cool air washing over both of you from the open bedroom window.

Part Four

[cravingpepsimax]

since he’s beginning to spread, here’s a rough timeline of events for the fujo bill au:

bill is defeated and is put in the theraprism

after who knows how long, bill begins coping with his spite and rage towards stan and ford by doing/making stuff that he thinks they’d hate.

he begins “shipping” stancest. bill doesn’t really GET the incest taboo, it seems pretty much entirely arbitrary to him, but he knows it exists and is something humans are REPULSED by. thus, he starts making stuff involving stan and ford dating each other. theraprism staff thinks it’s odd but him writing books about stan and ford kissing is significantly better than him writing books in an attempt to escape.

over time, bill starts getting actually invested. it may have started as pure spite, but he begins to remember things that, oh boy, sure do seem pretty incestuous, now that he thinks about it. at first, it’s funny — “HAHA, WOW, SIXER REALLY IS A FREAK, ISN’T HE?” — but then it becomes real.

since bill’s calming down and is no longer talking about wanting to murder the entire family 24/7, theraprism staff decides to move onto the next step in bill’s karma program: becoming pen pals with one of the people he used to terrorize. mabel’s a lot like bill, but not evil, so the theraprism staff choose her.

meanwhile, a 13 year old mabel gets a Crazy Paranormal Experience, in which she is told what’s going on. mabel agrees to be bill’s pen pal (he won’t be able to do any actual harm, and, worst-case scenario, it’d be funny to mess with him (note that, even though mabel’s 13, well over a year has passed for bill — time is merely a suggestion for beings as powerful as the theraprism staff)

bill HATES being made to do this stupid pen pal stuff. he can’t use it as a way out — the theraprism staff have been keeping a VERY CLOSE EYE ON HIM ever since the book, and it’s gonna be hard to trick mabel into doing ANYTHING for him. so, his first few letters are him insulting and trying to upset mabel, who doesn’t really seem to care at all.

eventually, in one of bill’s pieces of hate mail, he says some shit like “SIXER AND HIS BROTHER ARE REAL FREAKS, KID! WHAT DO YOU THINK THEY’RE DOING ON THE STAN O’ WAR II? I’LL GIVE YOU A HINT: THE ANSWER’S ‘EACH OTHER’!”

mabel promptly ignores the rest of the letter entirely, and makes a GIANT response excitedly going “oh my gosh, you noticed, too??”, and listing everything romantic she’s ever noticed about them.

bill responds, filling in some gaps here and there, telling her about some incestuous stuff from 30+ years ago, pointing out things she missed, pointing out things he missed (“WOW, THEY DID WHAT? TALK ABOUT NEEDING TO GET A ROOM, YEESH.”)

they become stancest gossip buddies from there. mabel fujopills him in other regards (bill never thought he’d watch a show called “ouran highschool host club”, much less at the request of a 13 year old who thinks the pair of twins kissing would be hot/cute, but hey, afterlife’s full of surprises, ain’t it?) but his main love is and always will be stancest

they eventually become close enough and the theraprism staff trusts them enough to get interdimensional phone call privileges. any time anything happens mabel calls him and goes “oh my gosh, you’ll NEVER guess what just happened!” and they gossip for like an hour

stan and ford are completely clueless as to what’s going on at all. i like to imagine they find out eventually but it takes awhile LMAO

[kitkathatesu]

𝙇𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙮 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙋𝙩. 2

This is a little longer than the first part<3

𝙋𝘼𝙄𝙍𝙄𝙉𝙂: Billy Hargrove, Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington x Fem!reader

𝙒𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂: ❗️SMUT❗️❕MDNI❕Use of drugs/alcohol, mean!Billy, dom!Billy, sub!reader, 3some without penetration (besides Billy of course), cucking, p in v, fingering (f receiving), degradation+praise, spanking, some overstim (f receiving), overall filth

𝙎𝙐𝙈𝙈𝘼𝙍𝙔: It seems as though you never learn your lesson, so Billy decides to invite Steve and Eddie over himself this time. Completely unannounced to you, they show up for what Billy referred to as a “get together.” But little did you know that Billy’s plans included far more than just a sack of green and a couple 6 packs to share with your “friends.”

☾ ✪ ༄ ✯ ༆ ✯ ༄ ✪ ☽

It’s about 4:00 in the afternoon, you’re lying on the couch with a magazine between your fingers. Soft rays of sunshine peaking through the blinds in Billy’s living room while Cherry Bomb plays through the radio perched on an end table across from you. A box fan sat on the floor a couple inches away, swirling around the thick summer heat and smell of beer that seems to always be sitting stale in the air.

It has been almost an hour since he’d left saying he had some “business” to take care of, which isn’t necessarily weird of him considering all of the shit he gets himself into. But you decide to brush it off flipping through the pages, skimming over an article about how men are naturally more jealous than women.

“Hah, sounds like someone I know.” You scoff. Rolling your body over the side of the couch to make your way into the kitchen. You go to reach for the landline on the wall, but you’re immediately met with arms wrapped tightly around you from behind. The smell of cigarettes engulfing you as a sloppy kiss is pressed to the side of your face. Making you scream loud enough for the whole town of Hawkins to hear.

“BILLY what the fuck?! I didn’t even hear you come in.”

You know there’s a grin plastered on his stupid face. So you turn to scold him, but he’s just staring at you. The emotion behind his eyes is scarce, but his body language is screaming frustration.

“I’ve got a surprise for you.” He mutters. A spark of excitement running through you but anxiety following not to far behind.

“Oh yeah? What kind of surprise huh? The sexy kind?” You smirk, wrapping your hand around the back of his neck. Coursing your fingertips through the bottom of his curls, gently pulling him in towards you for a kiss but he pulls back almost instantly. Causing you to scowl at him.

“Not so fast little girl. I’ve gotta get things going before I change my mind.”

“What do you mean? You’ve been gone for an hour, didn’t tell me where you were going-“

Billy chuckles. Cutting you off as he tips your chin up with his thumb and index finger. His gaze never leaving yours as he holds you there, your face melting into his touch.

You know he’s about to be a smartass.

“I don’t have to tell you where I’m going princess. As a matter’a fact, why don’t you give one of your friends a call? Seems like you’d rather talk to them than have fun with me anyway.”

“You’re such a baby”, you utter to yourself.

But you’ve gotta admit since last months escapade you have talked to them a lot more than you had before.. It’s like you’re connected more now than you ever were. Comfortable on a level you never knew you could reach.

You feel guilty in a sense too. Dirty that you’d let them see you in such a vulnerable state. And the fact that Billy was toying with you purposely for his own pleasure and using them as a prop to get himself off makes your stomach cave in on itself.

“Well for your information, I was about to before you scared the absolute shit out of me.” You spew with a sarcastic tone.

He just laughs and places one hand on his hip and the other on the bar next to the sink. Leaning his body weight against it.

“Is that so? Won’t you go ahead and do that then. Let’s see if they answer since you’re so sure they even wanna fucking talk to you.”

His eyes lit up with a bitter stare as a fist balls up at his side, his jaw clenching, probably dying to throw some more shit your way. Typical Billy.

Your first thought was to rip him a new one for the unexpected attitude, but you stay quiet. Trying not to crack a sarcastic smile as his voice drips with the exact thing you’d read about in that article just earlier. 𝙅𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙤𝙪𝙨𝙮.

“Oh Billy, you and me both know they’d 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 to.” You purr out to him, the words flowing out of your mouth with zero remorse.

But deep down you knew you’d be eating those words at some point today. His eyes like daggers as they seem to pierce right through you.

Billy finally breaks the silence between you. Lunging forward with his hands now tightly wrapped around your waist ripping a gasp from you. His fingernails digging into the skin there as a wicked grin plays across his lips.

“We all know why too.” He pauses, his tone much darker and cold.

“You’re a needy little whore. A set of holes begging to be used by anyone who’ll throw some cock your way.”

You stand there unmoving. Trying to look anywhere but his face as your body seethes with anger, every word bouncing off your skull like a punch to the face.

Billy’s demeanor begins to change. His smile softens and he loosens his hold as he tilts his head to the side, catching a glimpse of that anger you’re trying your damndest to hold in but can’t hide worth a shit.

“Come on doll, don’t get all worked up on me now. Y’know I’m just playing with you.”

“Playing or not, you can shove that surprise right up your ass Hargrove.”

Billy mocks you with a fake pout. A loud cackle echoing out into the room after your measly attempt to lash back at him.

“Well it’s a good goddamn thing your 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙚 will be on its way soon then huh?” He sneers, giving you a quick pat on your ass before leaning down to meet the shell of your ear.

“Ya’better cool off while you can sweetheart, you’re gonna need it.”

His words cause a chill to run down your spine. You squirm where you stand as he pulls back to face you, his features so pretty and lust like. It’s so fucking frustrating. You can’t stay mad at him. No matter how bad you’d like to smack that smirk right off of his face, the urge to ride it suppresses all others.

“Now I gotta go pick up a couple things alright? Might take me awhile, so uh.. Don’t wait up.” He winks at you, quickly making his way towards the back door where he’d snuck in earlier.

“But Billy- Wait a fucking minute, you just got back??” You yelp, rushing after him as he makes it halfway outside onto the patio.

“And? I said I’ll be back, so do me a favor and put some lipstick on those pretty lips of yours. Might take some of the ugly off of em.”

You roll your eyes at him as he walks around the side of the house, arms crossed over your stomach. A long sigh dragging out of your mouth as you stomp back into the kitchen. The sound of his Camaro roaring down the street making your brain rattle.

“Fucking asshole” you blurt out into the empty room.

He always has to have the last word, and what’s annoying is you let him. There’s never a day or night where you fully lash out at him. Even when he’s the biggest douche bag in the world. Is it because you love him? Well duh, but goddamn do you hate him sometimes too.

So you stand there, back against the wall facing the landline in front of you. The words you’d spat out earlier playing back through your mind.

“𝙊𝙝 𝘽𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙮, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄 𝙗𝙤𝙩𝙝 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮'𝙙 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙤." Because you know they would. They call you anytime they get the chance.

And that’s all it took for you to grab the phone and dial Eddie’s number. It rings and rings, the cord wrapped around your free hand while the other holds the speaker tightly to your ear.

𝙍𝙄𝙉𝙂, 𝙍𝙄𝙉𝙂, 𝙍𝙄𝙉𝙂

(𝙒𝙚'𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙮, 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙫𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙖𝙫𝙖𝙞𝙡𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚, 𝙩𝙧𝙮 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧)

You hang up. Confused and a bit nervous you ponder on the things Eddie usually has going on throughout the week but it’s Friday. After band practice he is usually free for the rest of the day, unless he has a customer or two looking to buy some flower. But even then if you call he makes time regardless of who’s around. So maybe something came up.

“Okay well, let’s try Steve. His shift at Scoops is well over by now.” You sigh, bringing the phone back up to your ear for the second time. Clutching it in your hand patiently waiting for his voice to pick up on the other end.

𝙍𝙄𝙉𝙂, 𝙍𝙄𝙉𝙂, 𝙍𝙄𝙉𝙂

“𝙃𝙚𝙮, 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙎𝙩𝙚𝙫𝙚. 𝙎𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙮 𝙄 𝙙𝙞𝙙𝙣'𝙩 𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙘𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡, 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄'𝙡𝙡 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙄 𝙘𝙖𝙣.”

(𝘼𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙤𝙣𝙚, 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙖𝙜𝙚. 𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙨𝙞𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙮 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜 𝙪𝙥 𝙤𝙧 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙤𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨)

𝘽𝙀𝙀𝙋//: “Hey Stevie, it’s me. Just wanted to see what you were up to today, hit me back when you can. I’ll talk to you later.”

You place the phone back on its jack. 10x more confused now and a little sad that neither of them answered when you know they’re hardly busy around this time. Maybe Billy was right, could you be annoying them with how much you’ve been calling? How long you talk. Are you being too clingy?? What’s the deal?

Your brain is going 1,000 miles an hour trying to pick through what could be wrong if anything. Hoping that whatever it is you’re not the problem and that it’s all in your head. But most of all that Billy isn’t right. Cause one thing for sure, his ego never fails to get in the way of his judgment. And if there’s one thing you can do is rub it in his face later.

☾ ✪ ༄ ✯ ༆ ✯ ༄ ✪ ☽

By the time you stopped worrying yourself half to death, you’d decided to put on a movie and kick back till Billy got home. Legs propped up on the arm of the couch, hands clutching a small bowl of popcorn. Watching intently as things start to get a little tense, fixated on the screen until you hear a loud knock at the door.

“What the fuck?” You ask yourself out loud but under your breath.

Your heart starting to pound in your chest because you know Billy would just barge on in. So who the fuck could this be?

You sit the popcorn down and slowly tippy toe towards the door, trying to get a good look at whoever this could be through the peep hole. But all you can make out is that it’s a man which causes a surge of adrenaline to wash over you.

“Who is it?!” You shout. Their voice is muffled but weirdly familiar.

“It’s me pretty girl, open up will ya? Kinda chilly out here and this flower isn’t going to smoke itself.” Eddie coos out to you, that deep seated giggle ringing in your ears as he stands outside the door with his hands in his pockets when you sling the door open to greet him.

“I- Oh my God hi!” You squeak out, a mousy shyness engulfing you as those doe eyes stare back into your own.

“I had no idea you were coming, I thought you’d be at band practice with the boys?”

“Eh, I got an hour or two of kicking ass in, might as well spend the rest of my evening with my favorite twerp.” He smiles brightly as you step aside to let him in, immediately shedding himself of his denim jacket. Not wasting another second standing, he throws himself onto the sofa. Motioning for you to sit down.

You anxiously take the seat next to him but you’re sure to keep a couple inches between you. Sucking in a sharp breath as you gather the courage to start a conversation.

“So, what made you decide to visit? I was sure you’d be busy.”

Eddie glances over at you tray already in hand with a joint in the making. Twisting it between his fingers, cocking an eyebrow at your question as he licks the top of the paper sealing it in. Holding it between his fingers.

“You telling me California didn’t tell you I was coming?” He chuckles, placing the joint between his lips. Lighting it and quickly taking a drag before handing it to you.

“…WHAT??”

You almost stop breathing when it hits you. Causing you to drop the joint in the floor, you chase after it with hurried hands hoping the cherry doesn’t burn the carpet.

“Billy invited you?.. Seriously? Come on, don’t fuck with me Ed boy.” You scoff. Nudging him with your shoulder.

“I’m not shitting you-“ Is all Eddie manages to choke out before another knock at the door startles you both.

“Now who the fuck is this?!” You jump up strutting your way back over to the door, swinging it open to reveal Steve standing there with a 12 pack of beer.

“Hey legs, how goes it? I hope you don’t mind, I brought some refreshments.” He grins, showing the carton of Budweiser off to you with a small shake. Causing the glass bottles to rattle against each other.

“I- Steve, what exactly are you doing here?” You ask. Your voice a bit shaky as you glance over to Eddie then back to the tall, lanky, bouncy haired boy standing in front of you. The one who seems to always be searching for something when he looks at you.

He grins to himself, pausing for a moment as he notices Eddie sprawled out on the couch behind you.

“Did I come at a bad time or what?” Steve asks, peaking over your shoulder waving to Eddie.

You quickly usher him in by his wrist closing the door behind you. Your brain scrambling to try and find an explanation behind this, you make your way into the living room. Plopping down on the sofa, letting out a long sigh as Steve takes the empty seat on the other side of you.

A lump forms in your throat as both boys now sit on either side of you. Their colognes clashing in your chest as you breathe them in, totally different but diffusing so perfectly.

“What’s got you so worked up pretty?” Steve asks with a hint of hesitation in his voice. Leaning his elbows into his knees as he tries to meet your eyes, Eddie doing the same on the opposite side of you but with a light graze of his fingertips across the top of your thigh.

“C’mon, no sense in trying to hide sweetheart. Can’t be getting shy on us now. Yeah?” Eddie’s warm smile gleams in your peripherals causing a rush of heat to creep onto your cheeks.

Your body reacting to them so much already that it’s making your stomach ache. Knotting itself up as Steve takes a beer from the carton and cracks it open, Eddie doing the same as they start to ramble back and forth behind you. Making you that much more nervous as a familiar rumble of a vehicle comes screeching up the road all at the same time.

You go still, part of you subconsciously hoping that it’s all in your head till you hear a door slam from outside.

Scurrying up off the sofa you grab the boys by their forearms, both of their weight working against you as you try to pull them up off of the cushions, their beer spilling out onto the floor in the midst of your panic. Knowing Billy will be walking through that door any second ready to swing on the first person he sees.

“It was good seeing you both. But y’all have GOT to go. Billy is going to fucking FREAK if he comes in here and sees you both without him even knowing-“

The front door flings open and smacks the wall beside it causing you to drop Eddie and Steve back onto the sofa. Your eyes growing wide as you quickly look over to see Billy standing across from you with a smirk plastered on his face. His tongue darting out to wet his lips.

Eddie and Steve seeming to have the same response as you, the whole room goes dead silent. Anxiety building as Billy continues to stare, after what feels like a lifetime you take a couple step towards him with your arms held out. Immediately consoling him as if you’d committed some sort of crime.

“Listen, before you get upset just listen-“

“Listen to what?” Billy belts out. That same crooked smile still hanging on his lips as he closes in on you, his leather covered arms draping around your waist.

Your back now turned to them, the uncertainty of what’s going to happen next causes your body to vibrate with a sea of emotions. You swallow the lump in your throat that’s formed again to sputter out a response.

“I- I had no idea they were coming. I thought you had some sort of business to take care of, so I just sat around and watched a movie. They showed up out of nowhere. Please don’t be ma-.” He cuts you off with a gentle caress to the your cheek. Causing your eyebrows to furrow in confusion.

“Baby, I’m not mad. Hell not even a little bit.”

“But you- What? What do you mean?” You turn your head slightly to catch a glimpse of the boys, but your head is jerked back by your cheeks now being squished together in a pout.

“Come on, don’t be stupid.” Billy sneers pulling your face closer to his own. His breath coated in what smells like bourbon and the obvious cigarette, you can’t help but wonder what he’d really been up to tonight.

“I’m not being fucking stupid, I don’t know what’s going on.”

Your voice cracks in your throat as your lungs fill up to the brim with fire. Jaw tightening at the anticipation, trying not to explode in heap of anger and disarray as Billy stands there with that same smug expression.

“Are you going to explain what the fuck is happening?? Or are you going to stand there with that stupid look on your face.” You shout at him, the occasional rush of adrenaline zapping your insides as you try to hold yourself together.

His hand drops from your cheeks to your hand, his thumb gently gliding over your knuckles as he brings it up to his mouth pressing a gentle kiss there.

“Sweet, naive, little thing.” Billy taunts, guiding you against his chest with his hands now resting on your hips, breath hot against the side of your face. His lips closing in on the shell of your ear, you can’t help but bite your lip.

“Ah.. I thought for sure you woulda’ caught on by now. This is all for you.”

Your eyes widen, a shiver runs down your spine, and you quickly pull back from him. Turning to Steve and then to Eddie, searching their faces for any answer you could but their expressions were just as empty as your own.

“All for me?? What exactly do you mean by that? I- You know what? This is just too fucking much, I don’t understand..”

Steve speaks up as you stand there muttering to yourself. Trying his best to make things a little more comfortable for you before it gets anymore out of hand than it already has.

“Well actually, we were told- Or Ed’s was told that we were invited to come hang for a bit. Billy called me early this morning and don’t get me wrong I was surprised he even knew my number, but I guess I figured it was your idea.”

He runs a nervous hand through his hair as Eddie chimes in.

“See! That’s what I tried to choke out earlier when I’d first got here and rolled that spliff, but you were far from listening so.. I thought you were messing around.”

You pace back and forth. Hands planted on top of your head, heart pounding in your chest. Practically drowning in your own pool of apprehensions.

Billy still stands in front of you. An eyebrow cocked upwards, his tongue tracing the sides of his mouth. Your eyes meeting his amongst the chaos transpiring within you, and the look behind them scares you. They’re almost black, pupils blown out, eager to eat you up.

He looks like a man starved of all emotion other than some twisted up desire. And with every neuron firing against their will begging you not to let what you know to be true get the best of you, your body is pleading for you to invite it in.

“So-“ Billy clears his throat. Placing both hands on your shoulders, ultimately pulling you out of your daze as he turns you around to face the boys who are anxiously sitting on the sofa across from you. All you can do is stare at them.

“Since I’d assume you’ve all caught the gist of things by now, whatd’ya say we play a game?Really get this party started.”

“Sure, I like games.” Steve concurs.

“Eh I guess, but- Ow!” Eddie answered with a bit of hesitation till he felt the sting of Steve’s elbow digging into his rib cage.

“Fuck it, let’s do it.” He agreed, an awkward smirk poking at the corner of his mouth.

Billy grips his fingers into your shoulders giving them a rub before lowering his face down into the crease of your neck. Placing a couple sloppy kisses there, each one leaving the smell of whiskey and want behind.

Eddie chuckles nervously. Beer in hand, looking around at everyone in the room before taking a sip. Trying to tear through the thickening tension swirling around the room.

“So uh, what kind of game you got in mind?”

You stand still. Almost afraid to breathe as Billy’s hands begin trailing down your arms, his calloused fingers gripping into your skin ever so slightly. That almost predatory grin pricking at the corner of his lips as he finally answers.

“What’a bout truth or dare?”

You suck in a breath. Trying to prepare yourself for what this little game of his is leading up to. Your knees trembling at the thought. This time you know it’ll be worse, much much worse.

Steve chuckles to himself. Beer bottle clutched lazily in his hand with his back leaned against the couch. His brown eyes lightly draping down your body as you stand there with that doe in headlights look on your face stiff as a board in Billy’s arms.

“I won’t attest to that. M’pretty good at it myself, like taking risks.” Cockiness laced in his voice Eddie flashes a smirk. Billy’s jaw simultaneously clenches, catching onto the familiar challenge Steve’s brought between them before. 𝙔𝙤𝙪.

“Alright Harrington, since you’re so quick to suck your own dick let’s kick it up a notch yeah?”

Steve nods, tipping his head back finishing off his beer. Eddie staying quiet except for the shit eating grin plastered on his face exhuming just how amused he is with the way Steve has Billy questioning himself. His “authority”, his dominance. Like a couple dogs over a bitch in heat. Can’t say he don’t blame them.

“Same shit really. But anytime you’re dared to do something or answer a question and you fail to do so, you ditch a piece of clothing.”

You’re done for as Eddie and Steve look to each other sharing a sickening snicker, causing your whole body to feel like it’s caught fire and your belly to churn. What the fuck have you gotten yourself into? I mean why is he so fond of this idea out of nowhere? It doesn’t make sense.

“So I don’t even get a say so? Great, this is total bullsh- FUCK!” You grasp at your throat as Billy’s hand is now wrapped completely around it closing off your airway.

A dark chuckle rumbling in his chest as his breath fans against your neck, his face practically smashed to the side of your head. Holding you flush against him, his thumb and pointer finger dancing over your pulse points.

“What was that baby?” He says with a long inhale and exhale, a growl reverberating through your bones as he grazes his teeth against your earlobe. His grip tightening around your windpipe pushing a pathetic whimper out of your lungs.

“Awh, that’s right. You can’t breathe.” He moves you side to side roughly, your head swaying back and forth like a bobble head on a shelf.

Fuck- You’re already submitting. At least your body is with the heat between your legs spreading like wildfire, your pussy already clenching around nothing.

“B-Billy please.” You stutter between broken breaths, your hand desperately trying to break you free from his grasp but there’s no chance you’re slipping out of this one. Not without a mark or two that is.

His hand rips itself away from your throat and he peers at Steve then Eddie over your shoulder. Motioning them over with a nod.

“Wait- What?” Eddie scoffed. Steve stares at Billy bewildered before he nudges his elbow into the brunettes ribs once more. “Just get up dumb ass.”

Oh my God. No no no. “Wait a second!” You stammered, your legs wobbly and weak as both boys saunter over to you. Billy’s body still flush against yours from behind.

“Shhh baby. This is what you wanted right?” He drawled, your back arching into his chest as the air around you thickens and you feel like you could suffocate. Maybe you are, maybe you will.

Steve stands to your left and Eddie to your right. Their eyes glued to you like they’re starving to see more, ready to rip you to shreds. Billy revels in the way your body trembles against him, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip with anticipation as he slides his fingertips underneath your shirt. Grazing your navel.

“Truth or dare?” Billy chuckled.

“Truth-“ You gulped. Jaw tightening and chest heaving with each breath. “Is it true you’d let me fuck you in front of them?” You try to speak but a whine is pulled out of you as Billy’s hand dips into your underwear. Running his middle finger through your folds, collecting the slick that’s soaked your panties and is sticky against the back of his hand as he continues to tease you. “Thought so.” He divulged.

“Holy fuck..” Steve sighed, his mouth parting slightly as he watches your face contort with pleasure. Eddie giggles nervously with his head cocked to the side, studying the way your nipples glide against the thin fabric of your shirt with each movement. Mouth watering at the thought of them between his teeth.

“Yes.” You mewl, your head loling back hitting Billy’s chest with a thud. Your heavy eyes flutter shut as he drags his fingertips upwards rubbing slow circles into your clit. “You gonna let them watch? Get a real good look at how desperate you are for my cock?”

“Uh huh.” You purr. Mind hazy with lust as all the worries you had before melt away into nothing but mush behind your eyes as they roll back. “Oh fuck- Billy!”

“Fuck no.” He spits. Hissing through gritted teeth as he pulls his hand out of your panties. Your mouth opens to plead with him and your lips are immediately met by his fingers shoved between them.

The taste of you heavy on your tongue as he forces them into the back of your throat. Eliciting a gag from you. “You don’t get to even think about cumming unless I say so. Got that?” His face is stern but his pupils are blown so wide that you can barely see the baby blue behind them.

You nod in response. Eddie hums to himself, his chocolate brown eyes boring into you. A lust drunken smile creeps onto your face.

“Billy man.. I gotta tell ya, you’re fuckin’ lucky. Babe like that? Hard to come by.” Steve’s eyes widen and he almost chokes in embarrassment. “Come on Munson, don’t make it weird.” It’s fucking weird already. Might as well enjoy it.

“If ya haven’t noticed.. It’s already a bit freaky.” Eddie snickered, nose crinkling up with a shit eating grin. Steve rolled his eyes only to tilt his head to get a better look at you, your face flushed and pretty chest rising and falling rapidly with what he can only assume is building desperation.

“Y/N?” Steve asked with raised eyebrows, lips parted slightly. “Can.. I touch you?” Billy scoffed and before you could react to either of them Billy’s fist curls into the fabric of Steve’s sweater, dragging him to stumble directly in front of you with eyes so wide that you can see how long his lashes are tickling his eyebrows. “Who the fuck are you to ask her? Ain’t ya gonna ask me? I’m the reason you’re here, remember?” Billy barked through gritted teeth.

Steve placed his hands up with a chuckle and shaky breath, unable to move now as Billy stayed practically nose to nose with him. You’re now sandwiched between them, legs wobbly and heart pounding wildly at the closeness. “Hey.. Hey guys?” You asked meekly, both men towering over you with their eyes locked.

“Can I touch her?” Steve asked smugly, cocking his head when he spoke. Hands still held up high and Eddie frozen where he stands, eyebrows raised and a sweaty palm holding his mouth shut so that he doesn’t bust out laughing. “I don’t know Harrington, ya gonna be able to without cumming in your pants?”

You chuckle at that and they both stop and stare dead at you. Well fuck. “What the fuck are you laughing at?” Billy’s eyes squinted down at your expression, Steve scoffed and his dimples were prominent as he smiled smugly. “Think she thought that was funny.”

“Fuck you.” Billy spat at him, only to turn his attention back to you. “Ya want him to touch you?” He asked gruffly, his tongue prodding at the inside of his cheek waiting to see how you react. You swallow harshly and you look up at him through heavy lashes, glancing over at Steve who stood just inches away. “Yes.”

“Then it’s settled gentlemen. Let the man touch her for God’s sake.” Eddie contended, “Might as well get to it. Right? Ladies obviously dyin’ for something. Look at her face.” You shot Munson a glare between the two of them but your face softened when Steve’s fingers reached out and grasped your chin, titling your gaze to him.

“He’s right ya know, could tell how needy you were for us the first time this happened.” Billy rolled his eyes and snaked an arm around your waist, his bulge hard against the thin fabric of your pajama bottoms.

“Ain’t that a bitch huh?” He murmured hotly into your ear, nudging his nose along the shell of it with a growl. “I’m not the only one who can tell you’re desperate Y/N, should be ashamed of yourself really.” You couldn’t take much more of this back and forth bullshit. If this was happening, it was happening now.

You swayed your hips gently, Billy’s cock twitching at the friction when you spoke. “M’tired of waiting. Someone better do something or y’all can fuck each other for all I care.” They all snickered at that and your shorts were ripped down your thighs in a matter of seconds. Billy’s boot thudding against your ankle spreading your legs, Steve’s big hand still holding your face gently between thumb and forefinger. “Only one fucking you is me sweetheart, they’ll be lucky to get a handful of your tits let alone buried inside you.”

Your eyes widened when your cunt is exposed to the air around you, Billy’s fingers easily ripping through the lace of your panties. “Now be a good girl and let me hear ya beg for it”, Billy drawled. Your stomach coiling up into a knot when you felt the head of his cock poking at your entrance, your slick making it no challenge for him to slide in but he refrains.

“Billy- I.. I-“ You stutter and Steve pushes your lips into a pout, inching his face towards yours with a wicked smirk. “Nuh uh, look at me. Tell me how bad you wanna be stuffed full.” Oh, holy fuck. His words make you mewl and your back arch, the tip of Billy’s length barely slipping between your folds when you do so.

Billy’s hands grab your hips roughly to keep you upright, though it’s not like you’d fall with Steve practically caging you in. Forcing you to stare at him as your cunt drools for him, Eddie, and Billy all at the same time. It’s filthy. “Oh Steve!” You moan, brows pinching together and your mouth falling slack when Billy pushes all the way inside you. You don’t even notice Eddie is closer now, his eyes glued to where you and Billy are connected.

“Goddamn, she looks tight.” Eddie rasped, licking his lips like a man starved. He bent down and wrapped his ring clad fingers around your inner thigh, admiring the glistening sheen that’s coated your pussy as Billy thrusts in and out of you at a steady pace. “Best pussy I’ve ever had.” Billy groaned, his fingers digging hard into the plush of your love handles.

God you’re ruined. You’ll never recover from the rush of this, never be able to touch yourself to anything else at night. How could you when the pad of Eddie’s thumb now rubs soft circles into your clit, Billy’s balls deep inside you, and Steve holds your blissed out face in his hand while he etches this moment into his brain forever. His cock throbbing painfully in his jeans, the need to kiss you almost overbearing but he wanted to watch you writhe as much as Billy did.

After all, you’ve tortured him for years now. Never giving him a chance nor acknowledging his advances, though you’d always noticed them. Why should you get to have all the fun? Especially now. “What’sa matter pretty girl? Can’t talk?” Steve cooed, Eddie hummed in response as he traced over your clit agonizingly slow. Collecting your slick that’s seeping out of your pussy that’s stretched around Billy’s cock.

“Oh- Oh fuck, please please please.” You babbled, Billy chuckles darkly at the pathetic sounds that emanate out of your mouth with a sadistic smile. Overstimulation starting to settle in the pit of your stomach. Your cunt aching and clenching around him with each push, pull, and drag of the men’s hands on you. “You can talk, well that’s good. Not completely cock drunk yet, but you’re almost there, aren’t you baby?”

“Y-Yes, ah!” You hiss, a new sensation sending chills ripping up your spine when Billy’s hand comes down harshly against the plush of your ass. All rosy and red, flushed just like your cheeks as you keep your eyes on Steve. You can tell he wants you, wants to take Billy’s place or shove his cock down your throat with the way his lip curls up and his pupils are blown wide. “Fuckin’ slut, I can feel you clenching around me. Shit- Ah yeah, you gonna cum? Huh?”

Billy’s voice is gravelly and bellowing behind you, his hips now pistoning into your already sensitive slit as he bends over your back. His lips pressed to the shell of your ear, cock buried deeper than before hitting that sweet spot with each slap of your ass rippling back against him. “Yeah man, she’s gettin’ real fuckin’ wet down here. She’s leaking onto the floor.” Eddie almost salivating at the way your pussy takes a cock so well, swollen clit throbbing beneath his thumb. “Be a good girl yeah? Cum for me.”

Billy growled at that, his eyes darkening as he glared at Steve over your shoulder. “Shut up Harrington, only one she’ll be cumming for is me. On my cock, not yours.” He chuckled breathlessly, his voice bordering on a whine as he came closer and closer to the edge. And he revels in the way he can tell you’re getting closer too, but only he can feel your pretty cunt pulsing around him. He had to remind them that this would be the closest they’ll ever get to the real thing.

“I’m- M’gonna cuuuumm!” You squeal, every word emphasized by the almost painful orgasm that sends your vision into a haze. It doesn’t come in waves, it feels like it’s never going to stop. Your eyes roll back, mouth cocks open, and your pussy spasms uncontrollably along with your whole body. They were using you.

“That’s right bitch, fuck me back.” You didn’t even realize your hips were grinding his cock in and out of your soaked cunt, Eddie’s thumb replaced by his middle and ring finger milking out every last drop of slick that he could from you as you rode out your high. Steve never once letting go of your cheeks, keeping your fucked out face right in view so that he could cum to the thought of it later. “So fucking sexy like this Y/N, you should see yourself.” And if you could see yourself you’d realize just how nasty you are.

“Shit, baby just like that-“ Billy croned, his head tipping back with a drawn out groan. “Pussy’s gonna make me cum.” Your ears perk up at that and a wicked grin plays at your lips, wanting nothing more than to be filled full while Steve and Eddie withered away to nothing more than a bunch of gooners. “Cocks so good Billy- Want you to fuck me full.”

“Hear that boys?” Billy laughed boisterously, chest rising and falling rapidly with a fucked out smile on his face. “She wants my cum, she fuckin’ needs it. Ain’t that right doll?” His hips snapped up into you hard, slamming against your cervix making you jolt and cry out. “Ah, ahh yes! Fuck yes, please.”

“Here you go baby, nice and fuckin’ deep.” Billy hissed, his thrusts becoming sloppy and unrhythmic when he paints yours insides pearly white with his cum. Hots spurts spilling into you and seeping out around his cock, Eddie’s mouth dropped open in an O almost tempted to taste but he knows better. “Look at you, taking it so well.” Steve spat sickeningly sweet, the smell of booze on his breath making you fawn as you watched hunger burn behind those lovestruck eyes.

But you’re knocked smooth out of your hazy little world and brought back when Billy pulls out and leaves a mixture of your cum and his dripping on the floor beneath you. Eddie pushing himself up off of his knees and Steve stepping away about an inch or two, their arms crossed over their stomachs and cocks hard and on display in their jeans. Billy wipes himself clean with the bottom of his shirt, typical Billy and doesn’t say much else. Just finds the nearest lighter and pulls a cigarette out of a box of Marlboro’s, letting it hang loosely from his lips as he lit it and took a long drag.

“Hope you boys got your fill, I know I did.”

[venus-is-thinking]

DRDT Chapter 2 Episode 14: Initial Thoughts

What an episode! I can't believe that we're probably starting to near the end of the Trial. But, considering we're almost there, we DEFINITELY have a lot to talk about. It's a longer episode, and there's a LOT to go over, so buckle in!

SPOILER WARNING FOR DRDT CH 2 PART 2!

T/W: Murder, hanging (with depictions)

The Reactions

Hu is literally so pretty.

I wasn't expecting her to get a whole mechanic defending Nico, but it makes sense. Letting other students cut in during the Class Trial is a great way to draw specific attention to a character point, and it's very clear that Hu's over-defense of Nico is going to be important moving forwards.

RIP to my "using the weight rack as the carousel" theory. The fan probably makes more sense. I just still have no idea how the 300-ish pound or whatever weight rack managed to get knocked over in the struggle.

I'm glad they directly pointed this out. Trying to kill everyone in the Class Trial was the EXACT thing Hu was so pressed about David doing. It's a weird double standard to be so forgiving of Nico when they tried to do the same thing.

Insane thing to say if Eden is the culprit and killed Arei because she didn't believe her. Then again, if my explanation for a lot of Eden Trial dialogue is "she's speaking out of regret for killing Arei now that she knows Arei was being legit," maybe she's just calling herself cruel as well.

This is honestly very valid.

Do you think "here" implies Nico trusts someone in the outside world? Based on their secret, it seems like they probably didn't have many friends. Could also be referring to animals? Or Mai Akasaki?

Big psychic damage to Hu though, considering we know she thrives on other people relying on her. She wants Nico to be someone who relies on her sooo bad, but they just... don't.

Like, girl. They literally JUST said that they don't trust anyone. That includes you.

She's clearly projecting in some way, though, which is definitely an oof. I wonder if Hu wishes she had someone who was undeniably on her side in the past...?

(To be clear: I think Hu is a very well written and interesting character. She fits the fucked up vibes of Despair Time, but coming from a more surprising angle of "that really nice and caring person can also be fucked up." She's just clearly in the wrong here, so I get to clown on her as I clown on everyone else.)

Ace is honestly so valid for this. Like, yeah he's kind of a bully and he sucks sometimes, but. Like. He did almost get murdered and people are, like, mad at him for it? Huh???

If Ace does end up being the Chapter 2 killer because he snapped, I honestly think he's so valid for that.

It is my personal agenda to record every instance of J being notably anti-murder. I don't know where it's going but if it does go somewhere I want my credit because it is Apparent.

(The entire fanbase nods in agreement.)

I know some people definitely still think/thought that Hu and/or Nico was responsible for the crime, so we've all DEFINITELY been squinting at that alibi. I fully believe it's true, but that doesn't change the fact that I wouldn't put it past Hu to make a fake alibi to protect Nico. Idk if Nico would go along with it, though.

I got so jumpscared by the Closing Argument-style CG.

I'm so glad we did get a definitive answer on how this thing worked. I was so afraid that we were just gonna solve the Arei murder method and the exact solution of Ace's would be a "left to audience interpretation" kind of thing.

I'm not exactly sure where the blood on Ace's fingertips comes from? Maybe he cut his hand on the wire when he was trying to struggle after he woke up or something.

This makes so much more sense than anything I saw theorized though, lol. The fan falling from drop hanging totally checks out as a way that the murder mechanism could fail.

I have NO fucking clue why Nico opted for this as the murder mechanism, though. I get wanting to use Hu's wire to frame her, but why didn't you just cut Ace's throat with the wire in the first place???

where did their cape go :(

Potentially suspicious line from Ace? I don't know what he's referring to as "go through all this." Like, maybe just reliving the murder attempt, I guess...? Could also be going through the Class Trial, though, if Ace killed as a result of Nico trying to kill him.

*Levi's secret quote looms*

Things that make me think Nico is either a victim or a survivor. Like, are you really gonna say this and then go try to kill someone else? ...Or Ace again, I guess??

Fun fact: this was actually what guided me to my initial killer picks, before I discussed with anyone else or read any theories! I thought the killer was trying to frame Nico, so it had to be Eden or Ace. The tape and everything else was just what locked it in for me. It's fun to see Teruko follow more or less the same path that I did when I was trying to solve the mystery :)

TAPE TIME :D

The use of the Bound Wrists truth bullet actually really confused me at first bc I didn't realize we were just talking about the tape. I was like, were Arei's wrists bound because Ace's were and it was intended to be another similarity???

Maybe Eden's just being nice, but I find it really suspicious that her instinct after all this time is "didn't MonoTV take it" and not "oh I guess Ace is probably the murderer."

Teruko has now outlined two different ways that it makes sense if the killer was in the gym that night. If I were Eden, and I were innocent, I would be realizing that there's a very small suspect pool left, and I know that I'm not the killer, giving me additional information. Instead, she's questioning the validity of the tape argument, which isn't useful for narrowing down the killer-- it's useful for keeping the suspect pool wider and not leaving herself as one of three (but basically two) options.

I kinda get why people are upset with Rose here, but it's also kind of an oof because they're only mad because Rose is really smart. Like, no one's out here like "oh my god Ace you didn't recognize the tape??" Y'know, because they think he's stupid. Rose has a really good memory, which raises the standards really high, which sets Rose up for failure.

In Rose's defense, she also never saw the tape in Nico's gym murder OR on the carousel for Arei's murder. She only saw the pieces in the trash can, which seemed to be inside out. Against Rose's defense, it would probably have been for the best if she'd gone in to look at the crime scene.

Am I tripping, or is "fish misunderstanding" a weird way for David to phrase this? The misunderstanding with Teruko was assuming that the murder happened last night, which was in fact because of the fish-- but the thing Teruko should have noticed, which makes it Teruko's mistake specifically, was the body swinging.

I'm probably reading into things too hard, but it's so hard with David. What do you know!!!

Damn, Teruko is SPEEDRUNNING this character arc. Considering we basically know she's locked in for all 6 chapters, I'm really surprised to see her making this much progress this fast.

I'm guessing that this means that Teruko is probably due for a major setback sometime sooner or later. But, interestingly, this makes me feel like Teruko realizing that working alone doesn't work isn't her character arc's end destination; it's the willingness to open herself up to caring about others even in the face of the consequences of losing someone you love. Teruko is closing herself off from everyone because she knows she's going to lose them. Maybe her end destination is allowing herself to love people, even if she might lose them someday.

This was fruity as hell btw. I'm starting to think Rose may be our replacement support if Charles does die in Chapter 3.

It's so funny that this is basically Teruko claiming in-universe protag privilege. Go off, queen.

I also said something along the lines of "Hu are we really doing this again." Totally forgot that the BDA is still relevant, lol.

I personally find the way Veronika phrased this to be very telling from an author's POV. Veronika doesn't say "she must not have committed the murder," she says "she must not have witnessed the murder." It would be totally reasonable for any of the students to forget that the rule is written in a way where a killer could fail to see the moment of murder, but DRDTdev wanted to draw attention to the rule's exact phrasing again, which is a deviation from the phrasing in the canon games.

To be clear here, I stand by this even if Eden isn't the killer and the BDA group really is Eden/Whit/Teruko. I still think it could be a reminder for a future chapter when it comes up. But, I don't think it makes sense to change the phrasing of a base rule unless there's a specific reason you want it to be different. Whether now or later, this feels like a reminder that it IS possible for the blackened to trigger the BDA.

I don't necessarily "believe David," per se, but I do think it's interesting that we're drawing attention to this. I don't really think it matters, especially because I doubt the characters remember, but I'd place my bets on Eden being the last one because of that, "Teruko, wait!" thing.

It doesn't matter because, if David or anyone else saw the body, no one can confirm which two of Teruko, Whit and Eden set off the BDA, but it's an interesting note.

It's so funny how no one, fanbase or in-universe, can tell if David is lying though. Like, he COULD have seen it, but he also easily could just be making shit up to try to throw the Trial again.

will I EVER understand what the fuck this man is cooking

Why. I thought you wanted to end the killing game to finish what Xander started. I don't know what's happening :( /pos

My guess for now is just that he's still trying to kill Teruko, in keeping with Xander's plans?? Idk how making her more distrustful makes her more likely to die, though.

I do find it very interesting that Eden's approach/reaction has been to be very quiet and freaked out whereas Ace's approach/reaction is to freak out VERY loudly. Ace's is fitting because what does he do other than freak out loudly, but I might have expected Eden to do... idk, something else? It makes enough sense though, considering either the group is right to suspect her, or she's still coping with losing Arei a little bit ago.

...*squints REALLY fucking hard*

The music and voice acting in this section is REALLY fucking good. It's sad/charming/soft enough that it feels like it could be genuine, but there's still a little something that makes you have to question whether or not it's real. You WANT to believe Eden, but it's so hard to do so fully.

Y'all think Eden's crying is reminding Teruko of whatever Arei's crying reminded her of?

i'm out of images :(

I really like Teruko assuming that Eden is innocent first. She's too distrusting and also reasonable (it is life or death after all) to just hard clear Eden based on nothing, but she's offering a bit of a reprieve to Eden. Eden's friendship means that she isn't going to get immediately targeted in her most down moment, and that's it. It's a small way to show Eden she does care.

On another note, the fact that Eden got to hug Teruko and that Teruko said the "let go of me" NOW is honestly one of the main reasons I trust Eden more. I felt like that was obviously going to happen, but I was expecting the post-Trial. Putting it here is wild.

Theory Update/Analysis

Oh boy, it's accusing time! It makes sense that we're going to start with Ace. At this point, I can honestly see it going either way. Major props to DRDTdev either way, but ESPECIALLY if Eden really is the culprit. I was so confident in it, but they're really making me question my assumptions.

I think that both Ace and Eden have good reasons to be the blackened or not to be, and good reasons to die here or to not. I'm going to do my best to make a list of reasons for both characters and give a bit of my thoughts on them. They're roughly ranked in most to least important order imo, but I didn't think too hard about it.

EDEN

Reasons Eden Would Be The Blackened:

THE TAPE: It would be easier for her to take the tape than Ace, as attention was on Ace in the gym. The tape's disappearance from the background also happens to coincide with Ace knocking her over and her standing back up.

THE NOTE: Eden already knows all the info she would need to know to write that note. She could have put the note back together to give herself a defense, to try to disprove herself as the culprit with her handwriting, because Rose was going to do it anyways, and/or to frame Arturo if she didn't know he had an alibi. I think any of these reasons, or a combination of these reasons, are enough to make it possible, and while Ace could've overheard, it's definitely less easy for him.

NOT BELIEVING AREI: Both Arei and Charles have, in this trial, been shown to question whether or not Eden believed Arei wanted to be Eden's friend. If Eden simply did, this plot point goes nowhere.

A GOOD PERSON: Eden has been called a good person, but other than that freaky CG, nothing has really come of it. Is the plot relevance of Eden being a good person really going to resolve by saying "Eden is a good person, she'd never kill her friend!"? If a good person isn't gold, Eden still feels like a missing piece of that puzzle.

INCENTIVE TO FRAME NICO: This one's a bit more of a reach, but I don't really understand the point of framing Nico if you're Ace. Of course Ace is going to insist Nico is the murderer no matter what. If you're Eden, you have a direct audience to setting it up similarly: Ace. If you can get Ace to go all in on Nico, that's one less person who was in the Gym who suspects you. Eden and Teruko feel less likely to say "oh well it looks like Nico's murder so it MUST be Nico."

HEAVY FOCUS IN CH 2: DRDTdev seems to give the chapter death's important content shortly before their deaths. Eden has been one of the most prominent characters this chapter, which could be a bad sign.

Reasons Eden Wouldn't Be the Blackened

HER EMOTIONAL REACTIONS: I think I stand with everyone else when I say that the thing giving me pause with Eden!Culprit is how devastated she truly seems to be. I do still think it could be a combo of guilt and panic over the prospect of dying, but it's hard to justify everything.

HER FRIENDSHIP WITH AREI: Sort of a spinoff of the last one, but Arei was at least offering to Eden to be friends and to protect her. If Eden did believe that, to any extent at all, it's hard to imagine her killing Arei in cold blood.

THE FISH: The biggest question when it comes to evidence as to how Eden could be the killer. If Nico fed the fish and they were all still there last night, and Eden had an alibi until after the Relax Room closed, how would she have gotten the fish to add to the crime scene?

THE BDA: Easy to ignore imo considering we've already called it into question within the series proper, but still worth talking about. For Eden to be the culprit, either someone else saw the body first and isn't claiming to have (or it's David), or we're burning the "Eden didn't witness the crime and thus could still trigger the BDA" card here.

GENDER BALANCE: Possibly an irrelevant point, but it is true that we've had 2 women and 1 man die so far. If a man was the killer, it'd keep it even. Unlikely to be relevant as any disparity could be easily balanced out in Chapter 3 with (presumably) 3 death slots.

Points About Eden That Could Go Either Way

THE FORK CG: I firmly believe that this could be setting up for Eden being a more important character throughout the series or to die after a moment of intrigue, possibly letting us explore/imply more in her post-death bonus episode.

RELATIONSHIP WITH HU: Hu has lost David as a sane ally. Nico is telling her that they don't want her speaking for them and that they don't trust her. Would DRDTdev prefer to fully isolate Hu moving into Chapter 3 by getting rid of Eden, or to leave Hu with one friend who still believes in her.

CHARLES HAVING EDEN'S SECRET: By telling us Eden's secret ahead of time by Charles revealing it to Teruko, extra focus was given to Eden's secret. Was this just the easiest way to get everyone's secrets revealed based on character dynamics, or was it meant to imply that Eden's secret is extra important? Is that because she's the killer? Is it a #ArEden sweep???

ACE

(why are they both orange)

Reasons Ace Would Be The Blackened:

NO EVIDENCE-BASED ISSUES: This is the biggest and strongest point across the whole board imo. There is no tangible, evidence-based reason why Ace COULDN'T have done the crime. Out of all 13 currently surviving students, he's the only one who that's true for. That obviously makes him a viable suspect.

WOULD ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DO IT: Ace has been Freaking The Fuck Out this chapter. I could VERY easily see him deciding to kill here. I don't think anyone is trying to argue that Ace is too emotionally attached to the cast to try to kill all of them, because he clearly isn't.

WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?: I'm not really sure where Ace's character is going to go from here. I'd be interested in seeing more from him, but, like, where is his character arching to if not a killer? Ace is so disliked and intense that it's hard to imagine him really, fully pivoting and caring about others, but if he can't do that, is he destined to be a killer eventually?

HEAVY FOCUS IN CH 2: DRDTdev seems to give the chapter's death important content shortly before their deaths. Ace has been one of the most prominent characters this chapter, which could be a bad sign.

Reasons Ace Wouldn't Be the Blackened

OBVIOUSNESS & POINT OF CHARACTER: Of course Ace would be willing to kill Arei or whoever and the rest of the students. This is kind of the inverse of my "would absolutely fucking do it" point-- I don't know exactly how much surprise it would carry if Ace were to be the culprit. And, more than that, I feel like the point of Ace is that he is a victim here, but he's so unlikable that no one wants to acknowledge that or believe in him. I think it'd be an interesting comparison, if everyone really wants Ace to be the killer, but he just isn't. To everyone's dismay, Ace is still here. Now what?

SECRET LARGELY UNRESOLVED: Ace's secret hasn't really had any plot relevance yet. It seems like most people's do. I'm like lowkey expecting them to bring back the starvation motive from SDR2 in Chapter 4 and have SOMETHING happen with Ace there. Either way, while it could be reserved for his bonus episode (a la Min and Xander), I'd expect that his secret would have more main-story impact before he dies.

EXISTENCE OF SCRUM DEBATE: We're suspecting Ace first, but we still haven't done the scrum debate for this trial. Unless the scrum debate is "do we just vote for Ace without ever really pursuing Eden" and the answer is "yes," I don't see how we get out of this suspecting Ace period with a scrum debate without at least entertaining the idea of Ace's innocence.

STRONG CONNECTIONS TO OTHER CAST MEMBERS: Ace is very relevant to the Levi, Nico and Hu plotlines right now. Are they really going to just... get rid of him, when that's what both Nico and Hu would want?

ABILITY TO FIGURE OUT THE CONTRAPTION: Ace would not only have to recognize the way in which Nico was trying to kill him (which, to be fair is easier if he did wake up partway through), he would also have to conceptualize and figure out how to make the playground contraption successfully. I think Eden's clockmaking skills and... generally higher intelligence imo would be better suited to that.

COWARDICE: Ace is so fucking scared of everything. Would he want to put himself into harm's way by becoming the killer and having a do or die moment in the Trial? But, is he more scared of dying as a victim in the killing game, after seeing how close Nico came to killing him?

Points About Ace That Could Go Either Way

TAYLOR LORE DROP: Ace's friend, named Taylor per a Q&A with the dev, got vagued about in this Trial. Is that something to be pursued in a later Ace free time (following the one with Levi), or is that something that's going to be explained further in Ace's bonus episode (which could VERY easily be about friendship, considering it's Mai fucking Akasaki as the other person in the convo).

ACE'S BREAKDOWN @ LEVI: When Ace said he didn't fall for Levi caring about him at all, was that him affirming himself that it was the correct decision to try to kill, even if it'd put Levi's life at stake, who he previously kinda liked? Or was he lying to himself, and, at least previously, he wouldn't have wanted to kill Levi, no matter how harsh he seemed on the surface?

Well, that's all I got! Please let me know if you can come up with any more points for any of the 6 categories, because I'm very very curious to hear them! I'm thinking I might try to do an expansion on this in a separate post before next episode if I have time, exploring the ins and outs of each point with more textual evidence to back it up. I'd love to discuss any reader-suggested points too, if y'all have some in mind!

For now, I'm still personally leaning towards Eden as the culprit over Ace, but I wouldn't be surprised to see it be either of them. Well, other than the fact that my reaction to the killer being revealed is going to be :O no matter what.

[caplanbuckybarnes]

Never Letting You Go (Jason Todd)

Summary: Jason's afraid he's going to lose you.

Warnings: Flangst, every jason x reader i post will be is ADULT!jason x reader

WC : 970ish

Read on ao3!

-

The night sky was clear for once, a rarity in Gotham. You sat on the fire escape outside your apartment, the cool metal beneath you a grounding sensation as you looked out over the city’s sprawling skyline. Despite the beauty of the moment, your thoughts were elsewhere.

Beside you sat Jason Todd, his legs stretched out in front of him, the familiar weight of his leather jacket brushing against your side. For once, there were no patrols, no dangerous missions—just the two of you. You should’ve felt at ease, but the way Jason had been acting lately was gnawing at you. He’d been quieter, more distant, like something was weighing on him, and it was starting to scare you.

You couldn’t stand the silence any longer.

“Jason,” you began, glancing over at him. His face was cast in shadows, but you could still see the tension in his jaw. “What’s going on? You’ve been… different lately. I feel like you’re pulling away.”

Jason didn’t answer right away. His eyes remained on the horizon, staring at something distant, something only he could see. After a long pause, he sighed, his breath a soft puff of air in the quiet night.

“I’ve been thinking,” he finally said, his voice low, rough, like he didn’t want to say the words out loud. “About us. About what we have.”

Your heart skipped a beat, and a sudden wave of anxiety washed over you. This is it, you thought. He’s going to leave. The idea of him walking away, of losing him, was too much to bear. But you steeled yourself, bracing for whatever he was about to say.

“And?” you prompted, keeping your voice steady.

Jason shifted, turning his head slightly to look at you. His blue eyes, usually so sharp and defiant, were softer now, filled with something raw and vulnerable.

“I don’t ever want to lose you,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper.

The words hit you like a wave, and all the breath seemed to leave your lungs at once. You blinked, not expecting that. Of all the things he could have said, that was the last thing you expected.

“Jay…” you began, but he wasn’t finished.

“I’ve lost a lot of people,” he continued, his gaze dropping to his hands, which were clenched into fists in his lap. “I’ve had everything taken from me—my life, my family, my identity. But you… you’re the one thing I have left. The one thing that makes me feel like I’m still… me.”

You felt your chest tighten as you listened to him. Jason rarely opened up like this, and when he did, it was always hard to hear just how much pain he carried around with him. But you also knew that this—you—mattered to him more than anything else. And the thought of losing you terrified him in ways he couldn’t even begin to express.

“I’m scared, okay?” Jason said, his voice growing more desperate, more raw. “I’m scared that one day, something’s going to happen, and I’ll lose you. And I won’t be able to handle it. Not again.”

Without thinking, you reached out and took his hand, your fingers lacing through his. His grip tightened immediately, like he was afraid to let go.

“Jason,” you said softly, scooting closer to him, your knee brushing his. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re not going to lose me.”

He shook his head, his jaw tight. “You say that now, but Gotham isn’t safe. I’m not safe. Everyone I care about—everyone I let in—ends up hurt. Or worse.”

You could hear the self-blame in his voice, the guilt that never seemed to leave him, no matter how hard he tried to outrun it. Gently, you cupped his cheek with your free hand, forcing him to meet your gaze.

“You’re not going to lose me,” you repeated, your voice firm, but filled with love. “I’m here. I’m staying. I know what kind of life this is—what it means to be with you. But I chose it. I chose you. No matter how dangerous it gets, no matter what happens out there, I’m not leaving.”

Jason closed his eyes, leaning into your touch. For a moment, you just sat there, your hand on his cheek, his fingers still gripping yours like a lifeline. When he opened his eyes again, they were filled with that same vulnerability, that deep need for reassurance.

“I don’t deserve you,” he whispered, the words slipping out before he could stop them.

“Don’t say that,” you said softly, brushing your thumb against his cheek. “You deserve love, Jason. You deserve happiness. And I’m not going to let you push me away just because you’re scared of losing it.”

A small, almost broken laugh escaped him, and he shook his head, the tension finally starting to ease from his shoulders. “How did I get so lucky?” he muttered, half to himself.

“You’ve always had me, Jay,” you said with a smile, leaning forward to press your forehead against his. “And you always will.”

Jason’s breath hitched, and for a moment, he just held you there, like he was grounding himself in your presence. Then, slowly, he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you closer until you were pressed against his chest, his warmth surrounding you.

“I’m not letting go of you,” Jason murmured, his lips brushing your hair. “Not now. Not ever.”

“Good,” you whispered, nuzzling into his neck. “Because I’m not letting you go either.”

For the first time in a long time, Jason felt at peace. There was no fight to prepare for, no looming threat waiting to steal away the people he cared about. For once, he allowed himself to believe that maybe, just maybe, he didn’t have to lose the one thing he loved most.

And that was enough.

--

tags!

EVERYTHING PERM: @nekoannie-chan @kjs-s @notyourtypicalrose @mistressofallthingsgeeky

DCEU PERM TAGS: @other-fandom-reblogs

want to be tagged in future fics?

[chuuya-lillia]

🍷Chuuya's stages of dating -

This is my own opinion, it's long because I head canon Chuuya having trust & abandonment issues so it's harder for him to date.

First stage of dating Chuuya is getting to know each other, like non personal things. You would mostly be texting because he is very busy and it won't be consistent, but he will try to respond as soon as he can. He won't give you any gifts because you and him aren't official yet and he doesn't want to waste his money on a person that isn't close to him.

Second stage of dating Chuuya is the talking like friends, you would be talking about the small details, drama, and minor inconveniences. It will be a little more personal, but still not the deep stuff. You will still be texting him a lot, but you will also get late night video calls. He is not giving you gifts yet because you and him are still not official.

Third stage of dating Chuuya is the non official relationship dates, you would be finally going on dates with Chuuya, but they are small and inexpensive ones. He would take you to a cafe, getting ice cream, and go see a movie. Though this is probably going to happen like once a week so your main contact is texting and video calls. Still no gifts from him because to him the dates are the gifts so he doesn't feel like giving more.

Fourth stage of dating Chuuya is being together officially, you might tell him more deeper personal stuff about you while Chuuya won't because he's not at that level of trust yet. Chuuya would spend his lunch break with you and take you to all your favorite restaurants. You would still be texting him as main contact and have the late night calls. But both of you would share pictures of what you are currently doing like how you would do on Snapchat and on the days you don't have lunch with him in person, he would video call you. He will now start giving you gifts, small and inexpensive ones like your favorite flowers and candy.

Fifth stage of dating Chuuya is the doubting the significant other, Chuuya would start to doubt if you actually love him and it doesn't mean you did something wrong. It's more likely because of his hard time trust people and his fear of betrayal. He won't tell you that he's feeling that way, but he would start to text you more and question where you have been. He will take you out for lunch less because it's easier to hide your emotions through text versus real life. He would still have the late night video calls, but they will last longer than usual. He would stop giving gifts because of his paranoia and the fear that he will waste money on a person that doesn't even love him.

Part two of the fifth stage of dating Chuuya is reassurance, you probably picked up on his shift in attitude if you actually care for him and you don't bring it up to him right away. After about like two weeks of the same shift in behavior, you will confront him and at first he will deny it. You will have to comfort and reassure him that you love/care for him. It won't just take words to make him believe you so you will have get his favorite things, that will show you listened to him and that you cared enough to remember. Once Chuuya recognizes that you actually love and care for him, he will go back to the normal routine that you both are use to.

Sixth stage of dating Chuuya is getting more closer together, now Chuuya trusted you enough to tell you about deep personal things, but still keeps some personal things secret. You would also share deep personal things with him, if you haven't already. He takes you somewhere fun every Saturday and would take you on cute lunch dates on the weekdays, like a picnic, on a quiet beach, and the library. Chuuya would take you on night time rides on his motorcycle and go stargazing with you. He would still have the late night video calls, but he would also call you while he's in his office and during lunch, if you aren't having lunch in person that day. Chuuya would text you a good amount, not too much and not too less. He would buy you jewelry of your birth stone and clothes that you wished you had, but didn't buy because they were expensive. (but no expensive brands like Gucci)

Seventh stage of dating Chuuya is finally getting married, Chuuya wouldn't want a wedding and if he had one, it would be small. At this point Chuuya has been to your home, but you haven't been to his and he doesn't allow you to visit him at work. He will still not allow you to visit his work because he doesn't want you getting hurt, but he will invite you over to his house now that you guys are married. You guys will be living in separate homes for the beginning of the marriage. Chuuya will make a joint bank account for you two to share, but still will have his own bank account and you would too. Nothing really changes about what you guys do normally, expect for a few things, like being that Chuuya would start taking you shopping and another being that Chuuya would lower his working hours then he can spend more time with you.

Eighth stage of dating Chuuya is setting into the married life, you move into Chuuya's apartment and now able to visit him at work. He will be spending more time at home and with you. Those are the only things that changes.

Ninth stage of dating Chuuya is starting to grow a bigger family, you and Chuuya decide to start a family. Chuuya takes four months off near the end of the pregnancy because that's when it's the hardest and two months off after the baby is born. He also lowers his time at work again, but not a lot. Chuuya does not care if it's a boy or girl, he would love the baby no matter what. He's also against gender reveal parties and will just have a normal baby shower. Chuuya wouldn't like having a lots of kids, he would want four at max and one as the least. Chuuya will be there for you at all times, even if he's at work. If you have cravings, he will do the best he can to satisfy them and will cook for you. He would massage you if you are in pain, plus do everything in his power to make you comfortable and healthy. He would help change diapers and tend to the baby in the middle of the night then you can sleep.

Another version: Ninth stage of dating Chuuya is starting to grow a bigger family, you and Chuuya decide to adopt an pet.

If you get a dog, Chuuya will be very happy and spend a lot of time with it. He would buy the dog all the stuff they need and buy the best dog food. He will allow the dog to sleep on the bed with you two and sometimes snuggle with the dog in the couch.

If you get a cat, Chuuya will love it, but it would remind him of Dazai a little and will try to ignore that feeling. He would get the cat everything it wants and would be jealous if you spend more time with it then him. He won't allow it to sleep on your guys bed, but will allow it to sleep in the same room.

[sturniolobsessed]

YOU’RE HIS AND NOT MINE - M.STURNIOLO (PT1)

Warnings : Crying, arguing, bullying, reverse comfort, shouting, use of y/n

Summary : In which, Matt is head over heals in love with his best friend… but she has a boyfriend already

Authors Note : You lot are being fed right now because this is part one of a four part series. Part 1 might be a little bit boring but please bare with me, it will get good soon, I promise. There will be a angst, smut, fluff, all the emotions. Good luck and I hope you enjoy a rollercoaster of emotions. <3

Pink is reader

Blue is Matt

Green is reader’s boyfriend

Orange is teacher

Purple is Nick

Italics is flash forward/back

________________________________________

Your best friend Matt is crying in your arms and he won’t tell you why. When he finally does and you find out that it’s because of your boyfriend, your body fills with sadness and rage.

You and Matt have been best friends since you were kids. You’ve gone from playing on the parks to talking shit about people and laughing at mildly sexual jokes. You’ve changed a lot but you’ve changed together.

Although you and Matt are the closest of friends, you are complete opposites. You are literally the definition of “opposites attract”. You are popular and extroverted and Matt is nerdy and quiet.

It is not uncommon that Matt will get picked on for being nerdy and you will always stand up for him, but when it comes to your boyfriend being the one to ridicule Matt, the seas start to get a bit rocky in your relationship.

Your boyfriend, Jack, has always been jealous of yours and Matt’s friendship because he doesn’t like the idea of another man getting your attention besides him. It’s fucking annoying.

“Matt, come on, I can’t be arsed to do fucking algebra.”

“Come on, kid, we have a test in a week and you don’t even know how to find x in a simple equation.”

“Stop saying big words!”

Clearly, your protests are useless because Matt just laughs and pushes the paper and pen towards you, encouraging you to study.

After a long time of studying, Matt explaining things to you and a few minor breakdowns, you get there and you finally understand the question.

“Alright, now you can do that, let’s start adding numbers-“

“Hey babe.”

You hear your boyfriend’s voice behind you and you smile. He starts to kiss your neck and you feel a little uncomfortable, not wanting to do this in front of Matt.

“Hey, my love…”

You subtly try and push your boyfriend away when you notice Matt look a little uncomfortable. You start to feel a little suspicious because Matt went all quiet and shy the second your boyfriend walked in.

“You alright, Matt?”

“Uhh… yeah I’m alright.”

Matt shoots you a weak smile but you are nowhere near convinced. You let it go for now but you stay wary.

Your boyfriend takes a seat next to you, putting a possessive hand on your thigh as you and Matt continue to study together. You still don’t understand algebra.

After you and Matt are done with your homework and studying, you start packing up your things and getting ready to leave Matt’s house. You look over at Matt and he still looks sad.

You go over to him and give him a goodbye hug, holding him for a little bit longer, hoping that you can make whatever is making him sad a little bit better.

“Bye Matt, see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, bye y/n! See you tomorrow.”

“Okay whatever..”

You look at your boyfriend, a little bit confused at his passive aggressive behaviour towards Matt.

Timeskip

Later that night, you and your boyfriend are lay in bed and you are lay on his chest. For some reason, you can’t get Matt’s sad expression out of your head.

“Babe…?”

“Yes, love.”

“Do you have any idea why Matt was so sad earlier? He was visibly upset and I don’t know why…”

“Why do you care? It’s not your problem?”

“Yea but it is because he’s my best friend and I love him.”

You saying that you love Matt must have clearly set something off in your boyfriend because he immediately stands up, telling you that he’s going to the toilet and slamming the bathroom door behind him.

You flinch when the door slams but you just roll your eyes and pick up your phone to text Matt, knowing that your boyfriend can be like this sometimes.

Matt 💗

Hi Matt

Hi :)

Are you alright? You really didn’t seem yourself earlier

No, yeah. I’m fine, I promise

Are you sure?

Yeah ofc, I’m just tired

Okay well let me know if anything does happen, alright?

I will, thank you

You’re welcome, Matt

Your boyfriend walks back into the room and he still looks a bit mad but you just brush it off. You open your arms for him, waiting for him to come and lie with you.

“I’m sorry for saying that, babe.”

“It’s alright… sorry for snapping at you.”

“It’s fine..”

Timeskip

You walk into school, not excited for today. You have the shittiest lessons but, luckily, the teachers aren’t that bad. You walk into maths first and you walk over to your desk.

You take out all of your equipment, getting ready to start the lesson. The teacher starts taking attendance and everyone says “here” but Matt.

“Matt? Is Matt not here?”

“He should be. He always texts me before school if he’s not going to be here and he would never skip a lesson.”

“Okay… we’ll send someone to go check on him because it does say that he is in school, he just isn’t in my lesson.”

You nod, knowing that this is very suspicious. You saw Matt this morning, driving to school with his triplet brothers, Nick and Chris. You immediately take out your phone to text him.

Matt 💗

Matt, where are you?

Matt?

You send the message and 5 minutes later, you’re still on delivered. You start to worry like mad. You spend the entire maths lesson just worrying about Matt.

When the lesson is over, you don’t care about going to history because you need to find Matt. You start searching the school.

You are pacing around the school, having looked everywhere and not finding him. You start doing a second lap of the school when you hear sobs coming from an empty classroom.

Your head starts spinning. Is it Matt? If so, why is he crying? You walk over to the door and gently push it open. You see Matt crying, sat at one of the desks.

When you see him, you instantly shut the door behind you and make your way over to him. You don’t even say anything, you just pull him into your arms.

“Matt… what’s wrong?”

“H-he said that y-you s-shouldn’t be friends with a l-loser like me…”

“Who’s ‘he’, sweetheart?”

“J-Jack…”

“As in, my boyfriend, Jack?”

Matt nods his head against your chest, continuing to cry into it. You are absolutely fuming right now, knowing that your boyfriend had made Matt sad but you don’t show it because you don’t want to scare Matt.

“Don’t listen to Jack, okay? He’s just jealous that you’re getting my attention and not him.”

“I-okay… t-thanks y/n.”

“It’s okay… I’ll have a word with him tonight. A strong word.”

Matt just nods again, not wanting to speak because it just comes out as a stuttering, shaky mess. You understand and just pull him closer to you, playing with his hair.

After a few minutes, Matt starts to feel better but he just wants to stay in your arms, enjoying the comfort that it brings him. You simply comply and hold him.

He pulls away after another minute or two and he looks up at you. His cheeks are stained red from crying and his nose is running a little. You grab a tissue and wipe his nose and eyes.

“What are you gonna say to him..?”

“I don’t know yet, sweetheart, but I’ll figure it out.”

“Okay… I hope this doesn’t make him more mad..”

“Well… if he says anything else to you, if we don’t break up tonight, I’m breaking up with him then!”

Matt simply buries his head back into your chest and nods, now starting to overthink about whether this is just gonna make Jack more angry at him.

You hold him for another little while and then the bell goes. You guys can finally go home and you can finally yell at Jack. You have a LOT to say.

You walk Matt out to the gate and you give him a hug before he leaves. He wishes you a quiet ‘good luck’ before going to his car and taking himself home. That’s when you see Jack.

You’re trying to contain your anger at least until you get home but it’s getting difficult. You get in the car with him, not saying a word. You want him to know that you’re pissed off.

To your annoyance, Jack doesn’t say anything in the car but when you guys get back to his house, you snap. He tries to kiss your neck and you push him off you.

“How fucking dare you, Jack?!”

“Woah woah woah… what’s got your panties in a twist?”

“Why the fuck have you been saying all that shit to Matt about him not deserving me as a friend and calling him a loser?!”

You watch as Jack’s face drops and he instantly knows why you’re pissed. He tries his best to explain himself but, in your opinion, it’s all utter bullshit.

“Listen, babe.. I only said that because I was jealous. He’s getting more of your time than me.”

“Doesn’t take Einstein to figure that one out, dipshit! You scoff and roll your eyes like a bitchy toddler whenever I speak to Matt.”

“Yeah… because I’m your boyfriend… you should spend your time on me.”

“Oh so now you’re tryna control me? Fuck you Jack.”

Your eyes are cold and he can tell that whatever he says isn’t gonna change your mind. He’s trying to reason with you but it’s proving difficult.

“Babe… I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. I won’t even talk to him again.”

“You said that the last time I brought this up. Last time it was just because of your stupid fucking meltdowns whenever I spend time with him and now you’re making fun of him and calling him names?”

“I know, babe… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t call me babe.”

You continue to argue for a while until you’ve had enough. You want to go back to yours but the whole reason that you were supposed to stay at Jack’s is because your parents aren’t home so you ring Matt.

“Matt? Can I come over to yours? I can’t deal with this dickhead anymore.”

“Yeah, of course.”

You can hear his smile through the phone, he’s clearly happy to hear from you. You smile a little too and grab your bags, heading out of the house. You put the phone down on Matt, telling him you’ll be there soon.

“But babe-“

“I said, don’t call me babe. Talk to me again when you’re less of a twat.”

You get in your car, leaving Jack at the door, still trying to get your attention. You slam your car door and drive off, not paying any attention to Jack.

You start speeding off to Matt’s house, not sure whether you want you want to cry or scream. Holding back all of your emotions, you reach Matt’s house. You get out the car, collect your bags and go knock on his front door.

When you knock, Nick, Matt’s triplet brother, answers instead of Matt. You, Nick and Chris are all good friends but you and Matt have always had a closer relationship. You never really knew why but you two have always been closer, since you were kids.

“Hey girl, you okay?”

“I guess… me and Jack got in an argument. I don’t know if I wanna cry or scream..”

“Shit… I’m sorry. Matt’s in his room.”

“Thanks…”

You smile at Nick and he closes the door behind you. Taking your bags with you, you head over to Matt’s room. You knock and then just let yourself in. You find him lay on his bed, just on his phone.

“Hey…”

“Hey. You didn’t sound too happy on the phone. Can I assume that it’s Jack?”

“Yeah… I spoke to him about the thing with you but he was just making up excuses. I think I got my point across though.”

Matt decides that it’s a better idea to just open his arms for a hug instead of making you talk about it much more. When you see Matt extend his arms for you, you smile and put down your bags, walking over to the bed.

You collapse down next to him, letting him hug you and you lightly hug him back. You start to feel tears welling up in your eyes but you push them down as much as you can, not wanting to pay too much attention to the whole scenario.

Matt looks down at you and he can see your teary eyes. His eyes soften and he just pulls you a little closer, rubbing your back.

“What did he say? Why did you sound so pissed off on the phone?”

“He was basically just telling me that he’s jealous that you’re getting more of my time than him. First of all, I don’t think that’s necessarily true and secondly, you’re my best friend.”

“He annoys me so much sometimes… was he yelling at you?”

“A bit.. but I was definitely yelling back.”

Matt laughs and rests his head against yours. You stay in Matt’s arms for a while, helping you feel better, and then after a while, you just throw a movie on that you both like. Matt got some snacks and you’re just hanging out together now.

After a while of just sitting together, Matt speaks up. He sounds a little frustrated for some reason but you don’t ask why.

“Your boyfriend really pisses me off?”

“Why? Is it because he yelled at me?”

“Yeah well.. that too but… it’s because you’re his and not mine.”

________________________________________

Taglist : @astrolynnworld @moncherriis @mattybsbitch @strnzzvsp @strniohoeee @sturnsem @sturnsdarling @sturnslesbo @sturnioloho @sturniolo-slvt @sturniolojpg @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @loud-sturniolos @iheartmattsbeard @sturnioloslife @stuniolvs @mattgirl4eva @33sturniolo @sturnsxx @thetriplets3 @slashzgirl @hoeforchrizz @shadowthesim @letstrip13

[nethhiri]

Chapter 59: Eye Eye, Cap'n

Warnings: "medical" "procedures", Heat gets something stuck in his ass

Milling about the infirmary, you made a list of things you needed to restock on. If it were an emergency, you could probably make them, however you preferred to keep your devil fruit reserved for your prisoners at the moment. You were starting to understand Wire's preference in clothing. You had no choice but to commandeer his fit since your pants were ruined. There was no question you could have fixed those too, but once you tried on Wire's fishnets, out of curiosity, you didn't want to. Instead, you decided to add his tiny shorts, which were much less tiny on you, yet stretchy enough not to fall down. His mesh bralette-like top had to be adjusted a bit to fit your body. Once everything was on, you couldn't deny that you felt very sexy. 

There was a touch of a strut to your step as you paraded around your domain. When your eyes touched the place where Kid had upset you, your step faltered. Failing to push it from your mind, your heartbeat sped, thinking about it had been causing you quite a lot of anxiety. You were still angry, but no longer seething. It was reasonable to assume Kid would be safe in your presence, however not guaranteed. You knew you would have to face it soon. All you needed from him was a sincere apology and reassurance that you were something more than easy sex. You wanted to believe it was just something stupid he had said, and it most likely was, but you needed him to say it for you to fully forgive him and put it behind you. You wished it was easier being romantically entwined with him. With Killer it seemed so easy. Why couldn't it be like that with Kid? Or was it normal with Kid, and Killer was the abnormality? Relationships, if you wanted to call whatever you had with them that, were an enigma to you. 

You leaned against the counter and took a short break. You had gotten into your feelings again and needed to clear your head. Tears pricked your eyes at the thought of not being able to forgive Kid. Fuck him for making you soft. You wanted badly to go back to the way things were, but you were not going to compromise your self-worth. When you first stepped on the ship, you were fearless and confident. Lately, you had been feeling like part of that was lost when you were in captivity. You were struggling to regain it. This anxiety of being wanted and accepted was undermining your composure. Maybe that was it. Maybe caring about it was the thing that was undermining your usual confidence. Before, you couldn't have given less of a shit about the Kid Pirates, and now you gave a lot of shits. 

A timid knock at the door interrupted your thoughts, fortunately. 

"Yeah?"

Heat shuffled in awkwardly. 

"Hey, Heat. What's wrong?" You immediately clocked his discomfort. 

He seemed to look around to make sure no one else was there. 

"It's okay. No one is here." You went to the door to lock it and double checked that the one to Kid's workshop was still locked. "You can tell me." As Heat approached, there was a low humming noise. "What is that noise?" 

Heat faced the floor, fidgeting with his hands. 

The noise emanated from Heat, specifically his abdomen. Your eyebrows furrowed, as it sounded familiar. When you realized what it was, your eyes went wide and darted to his face. "Heat!? Are you serious?"

"It was an accident. Please don't tell Wire." 

"I won't say a word to anyone." You sighed. You didn't have plans to be elbow deep in someone today, but here we were. "There's a few things we can try, but let's start with the easiest."

You had him lean over one of the gurneys and drop his pants while you put gloves on, the long ones. A few other things, like lubricant and a mild analgesic cream, were also grabbed. Hopefully, that was all you needed. If it was further up, you may need to use your fruit. You stood to the side of him.

"Cold hands," you warned as you parted his cheeks enough to put some of the cream on his asshole. Then you lubed up your hand. "I'm gonna need you to relax as much as possible, hun. I'm going to see if I can reach it manually. I may need you to bear down at some points, okay?"

Heat nodded, clearly embarrassed. This is not how he imagined you inside him. 

"Tell me if it hurts. Ready?" After another nod, you gently pressed a finger inside him, using the vibrations to guide you. Luckily, the vibrator he used wasn't very far up and he was lubed enough from whatever he had been doing that your finger easily reached the base. Your clean hand rested on Heat's lower back, gently patting him for comfort. "You're doing great. I think I can feel it." 

Gently, you retracted your hand enough to add a second finger. You paused as he tensed, waiting for him to relax again before going forward. Holding them in a scissor shape, you grasped the base of the sex toy with your fingers. "Push. Not hard, please." When Heat neared down, the base was pushed more firmly into your grasp and you tugged just enough to make it move. "Keep doing that." 

With a soft whimper from Heat and a sloppy, wet noise, the dildo was free. Heat let out a relieved sigh. 

"It's a boy!" You said, presenting the lube-covered thing to him, still vibrating. "Good thing it was a skinny one." You turned it off and tossed the thing in the sink. Heat stayed still while you cleaned him up with a warm washcloth. "All done." 

Heat pulled up his pants. "Thanks, Doc." His face was red with embarrassment. Half from the incident that had happened and half because he was a little turned on by it. Did he just discover a new kink? Did he like playing doctor? Or maybe he liked seeing you in Wire's clothes. 

"What did we learn?"

"Tapered bases are important for a reason." 

"If it happens again, I may have to give you a lesson on how to play safely." You winked at him. "Now take your fake dick and scram."

"Sorry, ma'am. Won't happen again." Heat darted from the infirmary, shoving his vibrator in his pocket so no one could see it.

You went back to what you were doing, grateful to have your thoughts filled with wondering how Heat managed to get that stuck up his ass, instead of thinking about real feelings. Mini snorted in a judgy way from her napping spot against the back wall. 

"Everyone does it once! Don't bully Heat. That's my job." 

She snorted again and let her head rest on the floor.

Your list was fairly long. You had used up a lot of the supplies on yourself, or they had been used on you when you were incapacitated. You weren't even sure when the Victoria would docking at an island. If you were on speaking terms with him, you could ask Kid. You could have asked Wire the previous night but you were otherwise occupied. Killer hadn't been around for a minute and certainly, you were not going to ask Heat while you were knuckles deep in him, not that you had thought about it then. 

You tapped your foot, staring at a bare corner in the small room. Something could fit there. Now that you knew you could restore things, as long as they weren't rotten to the point of no return, maybe you could start saving spare parts. Kid could build you a fridge no doubt. Killer may even have an old one to spare. You could harvest the more important parts from prisoners and replace them when one of your own crew was injured. You didn't even need a refrigerator technically. You could put everything in formalin like your eye had been in, though it would take a lot more effort to get it in working order. The fridge would be better. A deep freezer could work as well. You would have to test that to see if freezing affected the parts too much.

A metallic, rolling sound caught your attention. You rolled your eyes watching silver nuts and bolts stream across the floor. Not this again. Still, you felt your face get hot. It was the little things like this that made Kid so charming when he waned to be. Per routine, you knelt on the floor, watching them form words and shapes. 

COME HERE.

You rearranged them: WHY?

MISS YOU.

More like he missed your pussy. There wasn't enough material to spell that though. AND?

LO- He started to spell something and then the metal bits quickly scattered and rearranged. WANT 2 SEE U.

WHY? You arranged the pieces in reply. 

This time you heard muffled yelling from the other side of the door. "OH FER FUCK SAKE, WOMAN!" It was followed by banging on aforementioned door.

"WHY SHOULD I OPEN IT?" You yelled back.

"RAGHHHH." Kid's loud, exasperated yell was followed by stomping footsteps fading away and then getting closer, but in a different place. Kid flung open the actual door to the infirmary.

Startled by the stomping, the dozing boar in the back of the room suddenly became alert and ready to defend her master. Did she "accidentally" mistake Kid for an enemy? Did she have a grudge against Kid in the first place? Had she always wanted to headbutt Kid full force? Either way, Kid was barely one step in before a flash of brownish-red flew by you. You heard a grunt and a whoosh as the force of Mini's head knocked the air from Kid's chest. You took off running after him, realizing a little too late that Kid was flying over the edge of the ship, and you were following him down. Instinct made you chase him. You were completely focused on seeing if he was okay, and not at all focused on where he was headed. You should have been laughing your ass off at the railing watching that dumbass sink until Killer undoubtedly jumped to save him, but no. You cared too much and now you were destined to sink with him.

You saw the water below explode and froth as Kid's broad body hit it. The water swallowing you whole before you could register what was happening. At least you had taken a full breath before you were enveloped by the icy, cold sea. Kid had nothing. When your hand touched something soft, you grabbed onto it and pulled closer, immediately recognizing it. At the same time, something curled around you in an iron grip. The poor visibility in the water made it impossible to see more than a few feet in front of you, and the salt stung your eyes. Still, your mouth found Kid's and you pushed half the air you had into him. Here you were again, always giving him something of yours, trying to prove yourself. His stupid ass better appreciate you giving him a few more minutes to realize that. 

Any second now Killer would be yanking you both out. Any second now. Except you were both still sinking.

He was coming to get you both right? What if no one saw you go in? You clung more tightly to Kid's feathered cape and you felt Kid's other arm wrap around you in a protective embrace.

It felt like forever because of the adrenaline. In reality, it was only a few seconds. Your muscles started to burn from the lack of oxygen. Kid grabbed your arm, positioning it in front of you and turning it so the bottom side of your forearm was up. You stared at him, confused. With his other hand he made your head look back down at your arm and gestured for you to watch. With a finger, he wrote across your skin. You could barely see what he was writing, but you could feel it. 

S-O-R-R-Y

A mix of emotions flooded you. The first was relief, followed by longing. An apology was all you wanted. The second was anger. Why did it take a life or death situation to spur him on? Then you were guilty. That probably wasn't true. You had been ignoring him and pushing him away. Maybe he intended to say it earlier and you had been too hard-headed to accept that. Lastly, you were scared. What if he was only saying it because you were near death? Did he know something you didn't? He pulled you back into an embrace, suddenly pushing you away from him after a few long seconds. What was he doing?! You stretched, reaching out for him, and were yanked upward. You tried kicking at whoever was pulling you away, losing some of the air you had left in a flurry of bubbles, but were too weak. You covered your mouth and nose to keep the rest of the air from escaping.

As soon as your head broke the surface of the water, you were coughing and gasping for air. You hadn't even blinked the water from your eyes before you were scanning for anything red in the waves. 

"Where's Kid?!" 

"Worry about yourself, not your boytoy." Dive's sharp teeth glistened in the sun's rays reflecting off the water as she grinned. She patted your back as a fit of coughing overtook you. "Killer's got him. Don't fret." 

With surprising strength, Dive swam with you in tow. Seconds later, there was a disturbance in the water as one blond, albeit under a helmet, and one red head popped up. You held your breath with worry until you heard Kid cough as well. Dive and Killer got you both on deck with the help of the rest of the crew. You and Kid lay flat on your backs trying to catch your breaths. Your hand searched to your side until it found purchase in Kid's. Even though you heard him cough, you were relieved that his hand was warm. At least this time you didn't loss consciousness. You had woken up in this position more times than you cared to remember.

You sat up and Killer helped you to your feet, then thanked Dive before Wire and Heat shooed off the rest of the spectating crew. Heat was still walking funny, but he seemed fine. From the corner of your eye, you noticed Kid glaring in the direction of a very smug-looking pig. You got in the way of his line of sight. You were mad at her, mad wasn't the right word, but would scold her privately. If you did it now, you weren't sure what Kid would do, assuming he was already pissed at the animal. Kid rose from the deck, shaking water from his hair, and walked towards you, meaning to get to Minerva. You backed up, putting yourself between he and Mini. You could forgive the things he did to you, but you would not forgive anything he did to her. Your back touched her as she stood to her full height, fur puffed out, taking a fighting stance against Kid. He similarly made himself look bigger, but you didn't sense malice from him, strangely. 

You put a hand out to keep him back. "It was an accident! All your stomping spooked her!"

"YER LUCKY I DON'T BARBECUE YA AND FEED THE CREW TONIGHT FOR THAT STUNT!" He leaned in as if he were gonna growl something to the boar, instead speaking in a hushed normal voice. "That was yer one free shot at me cuz I deserved it." He narrowed his eyes. "I know ya been wantin to do that fer a while, piggy." 

Gazing into his amber eyes before they flicked away, you knew that was part of his apology to you, choosing to let the boar's actions go because you loved her and he loved you. He turned to go back to his workshop, with you tailing him.

"Hey! You can't stay in wet clothes! You'll get sick!" 

Suddenly your feet weren't touching the ground as Killer plucked you from the deck and followed Kid. "That goes for you, too, little darlin." He grabbed the back of Kid's coat and pulled him below deck with you towards his room.

Killer stripped you both of your wet clothes, though taking a minute to appreciate how good Wire's outfit looked on you. And the two of you were now seated nude at the end of Killer's bed, hands shoved between your legs and heads down with guilt, while he paced back and forth, arms folded over his ample chest. He was deciding which one of you to scold first, not allowing you to put clothes on yet.  

"You." He stood at your feet and you reluctantly met his gaze through the holes of his mask. "Are you stupid? Why would you jump in after this big idiot?"

"HEY!" Kid protested.

You covered yourself up to the best of your ability, feeling vulnerable under Killer's gaze. "I didn't mean to. I just..." 

"Just what? Hm?" Underlying Killer's stern voice, was a thin layer of exasperation. "I have to worry about him enough. I don't need you adding to it."

"I wasn't thinking! I saw that he got hurt and I went after him!"

"And you didn't see the ocean? The giant blue thing on all sides of us." Killer huffed and carried on. "You come get ME. Understand? What if no one saw you go in? Huh? Then both of you would be lost."

"I..." You snapped. "I only saw Kid okay?! I was scared he was hurt! As much as he irritates the fuck out of me and makes me mad, I still care about him and I can't stop." You saw him grinning stupidly beside you and punched him. "Fuck off. I hate you." You folded your arms tighter and turned away from him so he couldn't see your pink-dusted cheeks, slapping his hand away when he tried to pinch one. 

Kid's boisterous laugh filled the room. "HA-HA! YER IN LOVE WITH ME, DUMBASS!" 

Killer snapped at him with his fingers. "Hey, numbnuts, look at me." Kid's laugh faded as it was his turn to be scolded. "Stop riling up the pig, first of all. Second of all, stop saying stupid shit. That's what always gets you into trouble. Think for one extra second before you open that big ass mouth of yours." 

"FINE." Kid huffed. 

"Did you apologize yet?"

You half turned to see what his expression was, seeing him looking at you with a question, and nodded, indicating you accepted his underwater apology. 

"Aye." 

"Y/N?"

"He did." 

"Great." Killer clapped his hands. "Now kiss and make up." Killer turned both of your heads to face each other. "Don't be shy."

You curled your lip and gave Kid a quick peck on the cheek. 

"No! Not good enough!" Killer folded his arms. "What's wrong?" 

You hesitated. If you were going to get it off your chest, now was the time. You huffed and faced Kid. "I want to know that..." you forced yourself to keep his gaze. "...I'm more than sex." 

"Hah?!" Kid had an incredulous expression on his face. "What're ya? Stupid? Course ya are!"

"But you said...as long as I have a pussy-"

Kid put a hand over his face. "Fuck me! That's not what I meant. I was tryin to make ya laugh is all."

"It wasn't funny! I had real fears that...maybe that's all I would be if I couldn't fight."

"Once a Kid Pirate, always a Kid Pirate. We won't abandon ya, even if ya get hurt. Do ya think we would raid a marine base to save ya if ya didn't mean more to us?" Kid continued. "If all I wanted was easy sex, I could grab any random whore from an island."

You hummed in agreement. He had a point. 

"And I did. But we made her our whore." Kid laughed again and you frowned. 

"I really don't like you." You rolled your eyes. 

"Come on now, doll." Kid wrapped his arms around you and smushed his face into your neck. "What would I do without my Rotten? Right, Kil?"

You tried to squirm out of Kid's overly affectionate hug. You could tell he was laying it on thick to annoy you, smug that he knew you could never really stay mad at him.

Killer sat on the opposite side of you and took one of your hands in his. "Kid isn't good with words. That just how he's always been. Sometimes he says the wrong thing or he doesn't realize what he says can be harsh, but trust me when I say he cares about you. If you're on this ship and a part of the crew, he cares about you." 

"Even if ya ever decide ya don't want ta fuck us, yer still a Kid Pirate. I'll still take care of ya." Kid pressed a kiss to your neck. "But I will be sad if ya decide ya don't wanna be my bunny anymore." 

"Good?" Killer got up and folded his arms again. "Now kiss." He made a motion of pushing your heads together. 

You relented, facing Kid and planting your lips on his. He ran his hands lovingly over your cheeks and into your hair. You pulled back and rested your forehead on his. "I'm sorry for being stubborn. And thank you for not being an asshole to Mini."

"I've never been an asshole in my life. Tell her, Killer."

You rolled your eyes again and sighed, feeling a lot better than you had.

"Next time, because there will be a next time, we're going to talk about it together instead of you two being nightmares for the entire ship. Deal? Heat is gonna fucking quit if you keep dragging him in." 

You and Kid nodded, regretfully. 

"Or else you'll get seastone manacled together until you can be nice to each other."

You and Kid glanced at each other, neither exactly opposing that idea.

Killer shook his head and put his hand to his helmet. "Get dry clothes on and get back to work."

You got up and squeezed Killer's midsection. "Sorry for making you worry."

"Aye, sorry." 

You were squished as Kid came from behind you to also hug Killer. Your head was being crushed from all sides by four huge manboobs. A much more preferable way to die than drowning. Shockingly, Kid didn't even get a boner. Wondering what was taking so long, you looked up to see Kid planting red lipstick marks all over Killer's helmet. You had no right to be annoyed, happy to see your boys being affectionate with each other. You could stay here a few minutes longer.

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Kid dragged you to his workshop. He was dying to show you something, and that was why he had been pestering you earlier. He wouldn't tell you what it was. Killer was following you quietly. Even he didn't know what it was, though he had a pretty good guess. Kid made you sit while he rummaged around through his things. You weren't sure why he always had to be rummaging. Why wasn't anything organized? This was his space. It wasn't like anyone but him was making a mess.

While you waited, there was a crumpled piece of clothing on the corner of Kid's bench. It was peppered with smeared eyeliner and Kid's red lipstick. A sweat rag? You picked it up, fabric unfolding and revealing black kanji. This is-! You unfolded it in your lap. It was tattered and stained but it was your coat. Your fingers traced over the marks that were clearly left by Kid. 

"Was gonna give it back. Meant ta clean it first." Kid was scratching the back of his head, a reddish hue developing on his cheeks. 

"You saved it?" You had assumed it was lost when you were taken. 

"And this." Kid held your gunblade out in his hands. "Hope ya don't mind, I tweaked it again."

He did more than that. It was shiner that it had ever been, and it was adorned with intricate snake designs that hadn't been there previously. He had taken your criticism from the last time and applied it. Against his professional judgement, he kept it weighted how you liked. You looked from it to your coat. Your stomach clenched with guilt. If you had known he had don't all of this, you wouldn't have questioned his feelings for you. You brought your coat to your face, to cover the emotions that ran through it. Tears threatened to make themselves known. 

"Don't ya start being a crybaby on me. Ya won't be able to see the other thing I made ya." Kid pulled your hands away from your face. 

You looked into the palm he had held out. It was a small marble-like object. You didn't understand. With the wires attached to it, it sort of resembled... "This is-!" You stood up abruptly and took it from Kid's palm. Inspecting it further, there was no doubt that it was a replica of your eye. "Kid!" 

"Wanna try it?" Kid offered, cheeks radiating with blush. "Just... Don't be upset. It may not work initially. I haven't gotten to test it or-"

"Shut up! Of course it will work! You made it!" You looked at it and gave it back to him. "How do we do it?"

Kid pointed to an open book on his desk, one of the medical reference books that had been in the infirmary. You noticed it was gone, but thought Pomp, UK, and Reck had taken it again to look at the naked anatomical pictures. He explained where the wires should connect and that he could get them there, you would just have to use your fruit to make that possible. You did it with on eye. This wasn't that different. This one had been gone much longer though, and your brain had grown accustomed to not having it, so the neural pathways may be altered. You studied the diagrams for a few minutes and talked it over with Kid. Then, you sat back down and tilted your head back to rest on the bench top. 

"Killer, do you mind holding my head still? I don't know what this will be like."

Killer put both hands on either side of your head and you held the eyelids open for Kid to place the mechanical eye into. It sat in the socket well enough, but now the connections had to be made. You and Kid had to work in tandem to put everything in place. With the flesh eye, you could sort of control the things around it. This was metal, therefore Kid needed to direct it. You probably could have, but he had far better control over it. A jolt went through your body as one of the wires strayed from the correct path.

"Fuck!" Kid flinched, trying to stay concentrated. 

"It's okay. Keep going." You held onto his arm to support him. 

Killer watched, mesmerized by the dancing purple electricity melding with the soft yellow-tinged glow, each devil fruit power working as one. He held your head still, periodically feeling twitches and seeing your face wince. 

Kid pulled his hand away as a spark jumped to his metal finger. "Can ya see?"

The eye made a few jerky, mechanical movements, not quite in synch with your body. "No." You tried to hid the disappointment in your voice. 

"Hold on." Kid made some minor adjustments, looking back at the textbook for confirmation. "Try again."

This time the movement was much smoother, though still no vision. "Still no." You sighed. Maybe the problem was on your end. "Let me try." 

The best way to figure out the issue was to compare it to the working side. You couldn't see into your own brain but you could feel what was there, in a weird way. Everything was connected properly, the issue was that the path of the wires had missed a stop. Both eyes were being used by the same half of the brain. Kid didn't realize that the optic nerve was meant to cross to the other side. The right eye went to the left side and the left eye went to the right, give or take a few nerve fibers. Very carefully, you brought the necessary connections through the chiasm, nerves intertwining with the mechanical fibers. The small metal pistons that acted as muscles worked fine, they needed time to attune to your control so they would move more fluidly, but you could deal with that. 

You cracked the smallest opening in your eyelids, afraid that it wouldn't work, and saw a sliver of light through both. BOTH! They opened the rest of the way and you sat bolt upright, taking in everything around you, everything that seemed so much brighter and vibrant. Your eyes darted around the room. How will the ocean look? The ocean! I have to see the ocean! You were caught by strong hands before you could run out the door. 

"Whoa! Can you see? Everything ok?" Killer looked down at you, holding your shoulders tight. 

You pulled him down by the helmet, too fast, almost knocking yourself out, but you had to see. You had to see his blue eyes. How much of the blue had you been missing? You brought your new eye up to one of his eye holes, trying to get a glimpse. Even in the shade of his helmet, you could see glimmering blue. You released him and he did the same. You looked around the room frenetically for Kid, running to him and yanking him by the shirt until his face was at your level. You held his face between your hands looking at every freckle in new detail. And his eyes! They weren't only amber, but orange and golden, too. There was nuance that you had missed before.

"Holy shit." You breathed. You clapped Kid's head between your hands, slapping his cheeks. "I can see, you baby back bastard! You son of a bitch!" You shook his head in your grip and hugged it. "You fucking did it!" Remembering that you wanted to see the ocean, you practically threw him away from you and zipped out the workshop door. 

Killer allowed himself to chuckle. "Baby back bastard? That's new."

Kid's chest was puffed out and he had his signature grin plastered on his face, framed by two small, red handprints from where you slapped him. He was virtually levitating with how much pride was radiating from him. "Of course I fuckin did it. I'm me!" 

They followed you out, seeing you bent over the railing with your eyes as close to the water as possible without falling in again. Killer grabbed your waistband, sighing. He didn't want to spoil your good time by reprimanding you. 

"It's so fucking blue! Have you seen this shit?!" Suddenly, numbers popped into your vision, scaring you so badly that you jumped back. "What the fuck!?" You swatted at the air where they appeared to be. 

"Ya didn't give me time to explain all the features," Kid said, preventing you from falling backwards.

"Features?"

He laughed. "Ya didn't think I was gonna give ya some dumbass plain eyeball, did ya?" Kid handed you your gunblade. "Here. Point this at somethin random." 

You did as he said, pointing it at the deck some distance away from you. The numbers popped back into your vision, changing depending on where your gun was pointed. When you lingered, crosshairs also flickered into view. "No fucking way."

"That's not all. Look here." Kid pointed to the pulse point in his wrist. 

You holstered your weapon and the display vanished from your sight. Staring at his wrist, a new set of numbers came into view, numbers you recognized as heart rate. You flung yourself at Kid, throwing both arms around him. You released one to reach for Killer, who gladly accepted your hand. At the moment, you had no words. Kid gave you something that you hadn't had in years. You took it back, the thing about always being the one to give. Kid gave, too. It was simply a different kind of giving. You pulled your face out of his cleavage, this time not trying to hold back tears. 

"Thank you, Kid! Thank you. Thank you! It's so beautiful. Everything is so beautiful!" 

"Wait until you look in a mirror," Killer added. He didn't mean for it to be cheesy. He only noticed how you were so excited to see everything, you forgot about yourself.

"Now that's an idea!" You ran into the infirmary bathroom where the nearest mirror happened to be. 

Killer gazed at you adoringly as you saw your own face. Finally, you could learn to appreciate what they had noticed a long time ago. 

It had been some time since you had seen yourself this clearly. Part of you thought you would be disgusted by the scarring on your face, but that wasn't so. It reminded you of how much it took to get to this point. You traced the semi-circle of a scar that went through your old right eye, then the outline of where the acid had melted your skin. It held all of your anguish, but your triumphs as well. Where some might see a disfigurement, there was only strength. You stared at one eye and then the next. They were exactly alike. How Kid managed to get it to match that well, you didn't know. Maybe you did. He always seemed to be watching you, though maybe it wasn't watching so much as it was looking. Kid's eyes followed you all the time. Had he had memorized the details? But why would he? 

You ran back to Kid, stopping briefly to plant a kiss on Killer, who was kind enough to bend down for you. You did a running jump at Kid, which he, thankfully, was prepared for, lest you both fall int the ocean again. Kid caught you as flew at him. "Ha-ha! You stupid fuck! You love me back!" 

Tag list: @bbnbhm @nocturnalrorobin @wgwingguns

[fizzyginfizz]

What was your childhood headcanon for a hp character that changed as you grew older?

The break-up in HBP after Dumbledore’s funeral.  I used to be so frustrated with Ginny, thinking there’s no way she would tolerate this poor excuse for a break-up, the overprotective nonsense, her sidelining.

However, these were thoughts that were born from a time in my life when I was learning how to advocate for myself. I was learning to use my voice, learning to be me - and I felt every argument or conflict that I gave ground on was a sublimation of this sense of self I was still in a process of discovering. So that’s the lens I saw this conversation through.

Now, I see that whole interaction not as a girl learning to claim her own power, but as a woman who has learned a lot about functional long-term relationships – and I find this “break-up” a gorgeous example of relationship goals. Both parties explain their feelings, explain where they are coming from, they aren’t downplaying their emotions and even disagreeing, they listen to the other.

But sometimes there’s a bigger picture and sometimes one person in the relationship has a higher emotional stake in the outcome, and that’s what is happening here. In this case Ginny sacrifices what she wants in order to give Harry what he needs. Because the stakes are so danged high. He needs to believe she’s safe, that he’s keeping her safe. Even if it’s not entirely true, he needs it and it’s not a permanent relationship dynamic or pattern for one person to understand in that moment, in that situation, in that scenario, the other person’s needs may come first.

And Harry’s “he knew that at that moment they understood each other perfectly, and that when he told her what he was going to do now, she would not say, ‘Be careful,’ or ‘Don’t do it,’ but accept his decision, because she would not have expected anything less of him” is one of the most romantic, most beautiful statements of seeing and being seen in these books. That line is the reason why I roll my eyes whenever people say, “Harry just has a thing for Quidditch players” or “Ginny is a fangirl.”  No, they understand the deepest core of each other. This conversation no longer frustrates me - it’s what convinces me they’re going to be alright in the end.

[asuyaka]

Hiii, it's kind of a weird request so I totally understand if you ignore

Would you mind writing fluff with some comfort for Dazai with a trans male reader (ftm), when the reader is very transphobic (only) towards himself, because he doesn't want to be this way cause it's not something 'socially accepted?' the reader is rather chameleonic n generally cares a lot about how he's seen and if he fits in, going as far to change his whole way of acting based on who he's talking with or when he can't mirror someone's personality putting on a charismatic, playful, talkative facade. (Basically a social3 in detail but not manipulative if u know that term) because of his desire to climb social ladder and massive fear of lacking social acceptance, he tries to gaslight himself into thinking he's cisgender most of the time, which only makes him feel worse?? The 'all I want you to do is give me all of your love&applause and for return I'll be whoever you want me to be' type of performer.

Sorry for being picky but please don't write the reader as a submissive scared little thing that can't be assertive at all I hate that in comforts I beg u

★ - this hits so close t'home cause 've always struggled with my gender identity n'stuff then I realized there's a buncha labels, too many f'me to care about ! *^__^*

☆ - Dazai Osamu x FtM Reader!

♡ - really hope I wrote him well f'ya anon ! O(∩_∩)O | CW: copious amounts of misgenderin' (she/her & terms like 'girlfriend are used for the first half, please be warned !!) & transphobic language !

[Name] looked at his her the outfit in the mirror, a black body con dress with a slit that ran up [Name]'s thigh.

The longer [Name] stared at the reflection the more an urge to throw up formed. Dazai would be the door for their date, and every dress [Name] tried didn't sit right.

They were either too tight, not tight enough, too short, too long, or too boxy— the point was nothing worked.

It didn't matter if [Name] put on a skirt or a crop top, they made everything feel worse to the point [Name] wanted to call the date off, but that would make her a bad girlfriend, and she wanted to be good.

The doorbell rang. "Babe? You haven't answered your phone, are you okay?"

[Name] groaned and opened the door. Dazai glanced over her outfit with wide eyes. "Wow. Uh, nice dress, but what's the occasion?"

[Name]'s eyebrow raised. "What do you mean? I always wear dresses."

Dazai walked into [Name]'s apartment and plopped onto the couch. "No, you don't. You told me you hate dresses and skin-tight clothes."

She glared at her boyfriend, a deep frown on her face before scoffing. "Okay, well, I like them now. Girls like dresses anyway."

The brunette paused his actions and stared. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

[Name] rolled her eyes. "What did I say?"

"You're joking, right? You aren't a girl— I asked you out because you're a man, and I wanted a boyfriend."

Boyfriend.

The title made [Name]'s heart well, like a warm blanket draped over her body. It didn't cause that sick, gut-wrenching feeling like 'girlfriend' but they weren't a boy.

They couldn't be a boy.

[Name] gulped thickly. "...I'm not a tranny, Dazai. What would my coworkers think? My parents? I can't— I was born a girl, Dazai, I shouldn't... feel this way."

Osamu gently holds [Name]'s hands. "Baby, what are you talking about? You've always been my boyfriend, you being born a woman doesn't change that."

"But I... it's— Osamu, it's not right. If I act too masculine, I could lose my job and have my neighbors hate me, but I fucking hate having to act like somethin' I'm not." [Name] sniveled, wiping his cheeks at tears that began to form.

Dazai guided his boyfriend to the couch and cupped his cheek. "You shouldn't have to change yourself to make other people happy. You're my boyfriend, the only boy in the world I've genuinely loved, and I don't want to see you destroy yourself for the better of someone else—people who don't even know you."

"If you lose your job for being you, then you could work with me. I'm sure Boss wouldn't mind having a new employee."

With a gentle kiss, Osamu chuckled. "And I'd finally get some work done so I can relax with my perfect boyfriend in the world."

[Name] sniffed as his boyfriend pressed another kiss on his wet cheek. "...is it 'cause you're lazy?"

"Eh... not lazy, just... working smarter and not harder!"

"Not working at all doesn't count, Osamu."

Dramatically, Dazai held a hand to his chest and rolled on the floor. "Woe is me! My boyfriend keeps bullying me even after I call him perfect! What do I do?"

He lightly laughed and placed a soft hand on Osamu's hair. "Maybe take him on a date?"

The brunette immediately sat on his knees with sparkles in his eyes. "He still wants to go with me?"

[Name] kissed Dazai's forehead and smiled. Even with the thoughts swirling in his head, Osamu always had a way to make him feel better. "He'd be delighted to go on a date with you."

[utilitycaster]

(you don't need to publish this because a) it's not a question and b) I don't want that maybe you're getting attacked/vagueblogged over it) I just wanted to say, that I originally came to your blog because of your nuanced, deep and really really good Caleb meta and that Imogenfans are missing out big time. I think, if Im/odna fans wouldn't have acted the way they did and talented people hadn't stopped writing meta about them, at least I would have warmed up to the characters way more....

Hi anon,

I hope you don't mind me publishing it anyway just because it's a good opportunity to elaborate on a few rather fanwanky feelings in one brief-ish statement.

I don't really care if people vague me and I think people who don't like being vagued are valid, but people who don't like being vagued, whine about it, and then continue to vague others are, understandably, idiots making the situation worse. Most people who had issues with being vagued re: the above simply stopped writing meta, which is why there's not much of it. Also a lot of what people call vaguing is just meta that disagrees with theirs, to be honest. I mean I do vague, a lot, and I'm very good at it, but I've also written 100% good faith meta about things I was thinking about the narrative without consideration of other peoples' opinions and it was called vaguing because I used aggressive tactics like citing my sources.

I've covered the fact that Imogen was actually treated very similarly to Caleb with the key difference that people who wrote meta about Caleb were treated badly by his haters, whereas people who wrote meta about Imogen were treated badly by her then-supporters who are now mostly defending Ashton and Dorian because Imogen started saying things they don't like and don't want to address. I just want to reiterate that if someone ever says that The Male Characters Played By White Actors Never Receive Hate you should just block them and stop taking them seriously. The hate is obviously not motivated by bigotry against real people, typically (though some criticism of Veth was certainly misogynistic even though Sam is a man, for example) but they still did receive pretty intense hate. It is kind of telling, personally, re a certain lack of backbone that people will bring up the horrible things people said about Liam or Travis or Taliesin in their own defense and then turn around and willingly engage with the people making these accusations they clearly know to be false, but you know. Unsurprising.

I tried to write something longer that really dug into the outline of events but it really comes down to this: a lot of the direct harassment (not vagueing) of meta writers, especially with regards to Imogen or Laudna, occurred during episodes like...20-50 of this campaign, and I think those doing the harassment either thought this would somehow make meta writers go "oh my god you're so right about the thing that you said I should die for not agreeing with, I'm going to write meta for you now" or that this would shut them down but wouldn't make other meta writers say "oh this environment has become hostile", which obviously it would. Coupled with the fact that this is when a lot of meta writers realized the campaign pacing was fucked and the party wasn't clicking in the same way past ones had and it really turned into a case of high risk of unpleasantness for a not really worth it reward for many of the meta writers who were around in earlier campaigns, and that in TURN meant that it's harder to have a good conversation without having existing chats so it's a less pleasant place for new fans. Anyway uh. I think the lesson here is that those C2 meta writers ARE around for Midst and Candela Obscura so it's also kind of a waiting game in the event that there is a future campaign (and if not, they will still be here for Midst/Candela/Possibly Daggerheart or future EXUs); they're just not here to write about Imogen or Laudna because it's not worth the trouble.

[cupidspup]

It’s late and I’m bored so enjoy this agere fic I made teehee

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CG! BEN drowned x Little! Reader

(All art is not mine and credit goes to their original artists!)

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CW: Aged up Ben, pet regressor little, feminine little w/ feminine nicknames (this one is heavily indulgent I’m sorry guys 😔✌️), pet regression gear (pet bed, cage, chew toys, ect), alternative paternal nicknames (ex: baba), petre nicknames (puppy and kitty ones are used interchangeably!), a small amount of abandonment feels and loneliness but it’s okay because there’s lots of comfort!!

Summary: You and Ben are having parallel play time but suddenly your abandonment issues and anxiety start to sink in and it starts to make you feel sad and lonely. Luckily Ben is there to make it all better for you! (Self indulgent alert!!)

A/N: I was too lazy to figure out a way to fit in that the setting is Ben’s room in slendermansion into this fic thing so here’s how I’m letting y’all know and I hope that’s okay ८,,◐⩊◐,,ა

-`♡´-

You and Ben are always together, quality time is a huge thing between the two of you and everyone knows that. Wherever he goes you go and wherever you go he goes and you guys love it that way! It’s your version of perfect and you couldn’t ask for more! It even sends butterflies into your tummy when people ask where “your other half is” when one of you is missing from your usual pair. It’s domestic to you in a way and for people to immediately pair you two together in your eyes is something that you find particularly special. Now, you both following each other around isn’t necessarily a codependency thing but it’s just you both genuinely love being around each other!

If there’s a party you both are huddled in a corner either talking or playing games on your phone. When you’re home you’re always cuddled up to him while he’s busy doing his own thing. Most people would think that he’s too inattentive to be a good caregiver but not were they so far from the truth. Ben had actually never had a little until he met you. Much less a little who was also a pet at that. It took a lot of practice and communication but once he got into his own groove for it it’s been nothing but perfect. And ever since he first started caring for you he’s only gotten better by the day.

One of your favorite things to do with Ben is snuggle by him while he plays his video games. It’s something so small and unconventional but it brings you both a lot of joy. He has his gaming set up on a desk in his room. Everything is decorated just the way he likes. But he’s your baba and he loves to spoil you so of course right under his desk he’s has a perfectly pretty pink puppy bed for you complete with your favorite plushies and your favorite blankie. He even went ahead and put some small fairy lights so you wouldn’t be scared of the dark.

So while Ben plays away at his video games every now and then he’ll reach a loving hand down to ruffle your hair and caress your cheek softly. And of course you nuzzle yourself into his hand each and every time, cuddling up to his legs.

And of course today was no different than any other day.

You’ve been cuddled under his desk for about an hour now and Ben has been playing his games for a little longer than that. Initially, you went to your little crawl space to be closer to him and have some more of his attention but it hasn’t worked out quite yet. Ben still hasn’t realized that you want more attention than the occasional head pat!! Isn’t that clear enough already?? So if course as any pet would, you decide to get his attention in the best way you know how.

Pouting while being cute.

You rest your head onto his leg, smushing your cheek right up against it with a little whine. No response. You whine just a tad louder and nuzzle your head with a little more pressure. Nothin. One more louder whine with a little pout rewards you with a loving hand petting your cheeks and the most loving voice from him while he plays. “What’s up little pup?” He says as he softly caresses your face.

As soon as he says it, you feel it in your chest right in your heart. That twinge of pain and hurt is suddenly unlocked. It’s the normal pain you feel but it’s so much stronger when you’re so little and deep in your headspace.

You feel lonely. You feel abandoned somehow, even though he’s been right there this whole time! You know it’s irrational and it makes you feel crazy honestly. It’s hard to cope with it enough as is but while you’re like this? It’s a recipe for a meltdown on its own.

He’s still playing his game but you can tell he’s catching on.

“What’s going on kitty? You okay?”

You nod your head and try to pull back a little from him.

You’re being too much you don’t want to be a bother. This is too much for him it’s all too much. He’s going to leave and he’s going to leave you because you’re leaning on him too much. You have to do this on your own, you’re able to do this on your own why make him do this? He’s always playing and this is why, he needs an escape. An escape from you, you’re going to end up alone and it’ll be your fault.

The thoughts are coming in and they’re coming in fast. They’re bad and they’re overwhelming it feels like you’re suffocating from them alone. You want to cling onto him but it’s scary. He’s already so busy and you don’t want to be a bother more than you already have been.

The sound of Ben’s game being completed is what breaks you out of your own ruminating. He takes a second to stretch before pushing himself away from his desk and out of his seat. This pulls at your heartstrings, it hurts you to your core in the worst way. You curl up under the desk into your blanket, it’s the only thing that can comfort you right now.

It’s what you think at first at least.

At first, it looks like Ben was going to leave the room but once he was out of his chair, nice and stretched he comes down and sits on the floor with you. Chair and game aside he’s on your level with you.

“Baby, what’s up with you? I’m right here you can tell me anything, you know that.” He says with a comforting tone. When he looks at you it’s not judgmental or annoyed. Nothing of the sort at all. It’s calm and patient. The complete opposite of what you thought he would have been.

“Kitten are you having bad thoughts again?” He says as he inches closer. “It’s okay if you are don’t worry. You know your baba cares about you. I’d never be upset at you for that.” You pause and refuse to look into his eyes, you can’t seem to meet them even though he says it’s okay. You nod at him, confirming his suspicion. Curling into yourself further you hold your blanket closer for comfort. Ben sits for a bit to think before joining you under the desk, right in your crawl space. “Well I know there’s not a whole lot I can do to make your thoughts stop-but I know I can do a lot about how you feel about them. I’m not going anywhere at all, puppy. I promise you that, as a matter of fact I’ll stay here in your puppy space for as long as you want me to.” He wraps his arm around your shoulders and brings you in for a cuddle, which you silently accept. You nuzzle into him and the fabric of his hoodie wipes the tears that were forming in your eyes. He gives you a soft kiss on the top of your head and gently rubs your back. “That’s it pup, just relax for me.” You let out all the air you were holding in and snuggle up to him more. And it’s just like that. The two of you snuggled under his desk in your little crawl space.

It’s a nice comfort but very unfamiliar. Ben doesn’t really come down here since it’s YOUR space. You lift your head to look at him only to find him looking at the things you have under the desk with you.

He dusts off the scattered pacis you have, tidies up your various tethers and chew toys, and even organizes your various stuffed friends.

“You’ve got a nice setup, kitten. I can’t believe you had all this going on right under me.” He looks at you and his pointed ears wiggle just a tad. It makes you smile a little bit, it’s a thing he does sometimes without even realizing it most of the time. It’s something that happens really when he’s spending his time with you. He smiles and picks up one of the plushies you have under there with you. A gift from him of course. “Awe you got that thing I got you here. What’s this guy’s name again?? Rico?? Luka???”

You giggle and scrunch your face at him a little.

“Nu uh! Rilakkuma!!” You say in response as he picks up your other plushie.

“Oh yeah and his friend Corey” he says as he puts them together.

You laugh and shake your head no as you point to the plushie, “Nooo that’s Korilakkuma! You’re being silly!!” Ben pretends to be shocked at both the name and at your accusations.

“Gasp that is not TRUE! I am being sooo serious right now how could you kitten? I thought we were FRIENDS!” He says with a playful tone as he cuddles the bears together. “I’m gonna go cuddle with my REAL FRIENDS Rico and Corey now that I’ve been WOUNDED by my kitty.” His ears droop for dramatic effect. This of course makes you giggle even more. “Babaaaaa! Noooo!” He cuddles them close and starts talking to them, “Cmon guys they obviously don’t know what they’re talking about.” This throws you into a laughing fit and it completely shifts your mood. Ben is always the best at helping with that. He’s not a big fan of being like this in front of others but when it’s just you two? You get a side of him that no one else sees and it’s your perfect dynamic, hust the way you want it. He’s a doting caregiver through and through.

Ben being the self-appointed internet god he is, of course he knows these characters and their real names! You’ve talked about them before and he sees them all the time! He just loves to tease you and make you laugh. ♡

He hands you one of your beloved bears back (Korilakkuma) and keeps the other. Making his gives your a big hug. “See my bear is hugging yours because they love each other and I love you too, kitten. ♡ you’re always going to be mine and I’ll always take care of you. Leaving you would be just as upsetting to me as it would be to you-I’d never do a thing like that to you cutie. I promise”

You give him a big hug and bury yourself into his neck a little. And he hugs you right back because he’s secretly just as much of a cuddle bug as you are. “I love you puppy”

“I love you too baba”

“Wanna sit on my lap and watch while I do my stuff? We can do something else if you’d prefer that” he asks with a little smile. You’d nod and you leave your arms out to him. He gets up and lifts you up into his arms and take a seat with you. You settle into your rightfully taken throne (Ben’s lap) and lean against his chest. He drapes a loving and protective arm around you and uses the other to turn his pc back on. With a kiss on your head, a plushie in your arms and your little gear on stand by it’s the perfect setup.

You point at the can of monster on his desk and make a lil noise.

He moves the can away from you, “Nope. Sorry baby, little puppies like you can’t have any of that.” He leans down and opens his creeper mini fridge (yes he has one) and takes out a juice box for you instead. “I can however, give you this instead. That sound good?”

You nod and take the juice box, sipping happily as you watch Ben play his games. It’s a lovely routine you two have and you couldn’t ask for more.

Just like that, everything is back to perfect and you wind up spending your day with him like you usually do. Curled up in his lap like a good kitty and spending time with him like usual.♡

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦

A/N: WOof this took FOREVER and I initially planned on posting sneak leaks but I never was able to like write enough for that but I’ve been up since 5 am and I’ve been writing and it’s honestly come together so nicely and so much better than I thought it would?? I dunno if it’s obvious but this is so incredibly self indulgent it’s not even funny lol I hope you guys liked it nonetheless! I have so much more planned (especially with Ben and Toby as caregivers) and I can’t wait to share that with you! Love you guys!

-Puppy 🐶ིྀ🐾♡₊ ⊹

[federaliszt]

extremely convoluted sentence structure with an extraordinary and borderline-unnecessary number of predicate clauses, parentheses, m--dashes, and semicolons?

in my fic?

it's more likely than you'd think!

[mishy-mashy]

Kudo makes funny facial expressions

[bmpmp3]

yesterday in vocal synth news

[blackswallowtailbutterfly]

Still haven't messaged my mom back. And I don't think I'm going to.