#things I used to care about a lot and now no longer care about

[tigger8900]

Also, be careful about how much of your story you volunteer up front. Sometimes, I might strongly suspect that something is true that would disqualify you from a service. The thing is, I want to help you, so when I feel that suspicion about a service that doesn't require verification...no, I didn't.

But if you disclose it to me, now I no longer suspect - I know. This prevents me from turning a blind eye, putting me in a situation where I might be called out on that knowledge. And, as someone who can't tell a direct lie worth a damn, that's not something I can cover you on.

So in short, rather than saying something like "here's my situation, do I qualify?" initiating with a request of how or what you need to qualify can get you some useful information without putting the person on the other side of the desk into a potentially job-ending pickle. I have to deny a lot of oversharers, and it frustrates me every time.

Here is a skill that many of us are going to need for survival: how to tell if someone is offering to let you lie.

The tip-off phrase is "If [circumstance] was true, then we/I could do [helpful thing.]" This is not a guarantee that the person is offering, but it should tell you "I am being informed of a way to improve things."

Your confirmation phrase is "What documentation would that require?" This is essentially asking them "if people come asking me to prove this, will I be able to? Or will they not come at all?"

The answer you are hoping for with the confirmation phrase is "Just tell me if it's true, and I'll put it on the form." Note that this is not a direct instruction to lie, because they can't tell you that.

If they didn't mean to extend an offer to lie or this is a situation where they can't, then they'll list off something like your paystubs or your birth certificate. Your response back in that case is "Thanks, I'll tell my friends who qualify." This clears you of any concerns that you may have been considering lying.

The more complex answer is when they answer by giving you a form on the spot. Your job, in this case, is to scan the form and see if what they are asking you can be meaningfully verified by an official source.

Things that can be verified by an official source include, but are not limited to, your age, legal sex, income, veteran status, and place of residence. It's not generally a good idea to lie about these on official documents.

Be smart, and be practical. Do what you need to in order to stay alive, and keep an ear out for the people offering to help you do so.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

How to have cancer

THIS WEEKEND (November 8-10), I'll be in TUCSON, AZ: I'm the GUEST OF HONOR at the TUSCON SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTION.

I've got cancer but it's probably (almost certainly, really) okay. Within a very short period I will no longer have cancer (at least for now). This is the best kind of cancer to have – the kind that is caught early and treated easily – but I've learned a few things on the way that I want to share with you.

Last spring, my wife put her arm around my waist and said, "Hey, what's this on your rib?" She's a lot more observant than I am, and honestly, when was the last time you palpated your back over your left floating rib? Sure enough, there was a lump there, a kind of squishy, fatty raised thing, half a centimeter wide and about four centimeters long.

I'm a 53 year old man with a family history of cancer. My father was diagnosed with lymphatic cancer at 55. So I called my doctor and asked for an appointment to have the lump checked over.

I'm signed up with Southern California Kaiser Permanente, which is as close as you come to the Canadian medicare system I grew up under and the NHS system I lived under for more than a decade. Broadly speaking, I really like KP. Its app – while terrible – isn't as terrible as the other apps, and they've taken very good care of me for both routine things like vaccinations and checkups, and serious stuff, like a double hip replacement.

Around the time of The Lump, I'd been assigned a new primary care physician – my old one retired – and so this was my first appointment with her. I used the KP app to book it, and I was offered appointments six weeks in the future. My new doc was busy! I booked the first slot.

This was my first mistake. I didn't need to wait to see my PCP to get my lump checked over. There was really only two things that my doc was gonna do, either prod it and say, "This is an extremely common whatchamacallit and you don't need to worry" or "You should go get this scanned by a radiologist." I didn't need a specific doctor to do this. I could have ridden my bike down to the KP-affiliated Urgent Care at our local Target store and gotten an immediate referral to radiology.

Six weeks go by, and my doc kind of rolls the weird lump between her fingers and says, "You'd better go see a radiologist." I called the Kaiser appointment line and booked it that day, and a couple weeks later I had a scan.

The next day, the app notified me that radiology report was available in my electronic heath record. It's mostly technical jargon ("Echogenic areas within mass suggest fatty component but atypical for a lipoma") but certain phrases leapt out at me: "malignant masses cannot be excluded. Follow up advised."

That I understood. I immediately left my doctor a note saying that I needed a biopsy referral and set back to wait. Two days went by. I left her a voice message. Another two days went by. I sent another email. Nothing, then a weekend, then more nothing.

I called Kaiser and asked to be switched to another Primary Care Physician. It was a totally painless and quick procedure and within an hour my new doc's intake staff had reviewed my chart, called me up, and referred me for a biopsy.

This was my second mistake. When my doctor didn't get back to me within a day, I should have called up KP and raised hell, demanding an immediate surgical referral.

What I did do was call Kaiser Member Services and file a grievance. I made it very clear that when I visited my doctor, I had been very happy with the care I received, but that she and her staff were clearly totally overloaded and needed some kind of administrative intervention so that their patients didn't end up in limbo.

This is a privilege. I'm a native English speaker, and although I was worried about a serious illness, I didn't have any serious symptoms. I had the ability and the stamina to force action in the system, and my doing so meant that other patients, not so well situated as I was, would not be stuck where I had been, with fewer resources to get un-stuck.

The surgeon who did the biopsy was great. He removed my mass. It was a gross lump of yellowy-red gunk in formaldehyde. He even let me photograph it before it went to pathology (warning, gross):

https://www.flickr.com/photos/doctorow/54038418981/

They told me that the pathology would take 2-5 days. I reloaded the "test results" tab in the KP website religiously after 48 hours. Nothing was updated. After five days, I called the surgical department (I had been given a direct number to reach them in case of postsurgical infections, and made a careful note of it).

It turned out that the pathology report had been in hand for three days at that point, but it was "preliminary" pending some DNA testing. Still, it was enough that the surgeon referred me to an oncologist.

This was my third mistake: I should have called after 48 hours and asked whether the pathology report was in hand, and if not, whether they could check with pathology. However, I did something very right this time: I got a phone number to reach the specialist directly, rather than going through the Kaiser main number.

My oncologist appointment was very reassuring. The oncologist explained the kind of cancer I had ("follicular lymphoma"), the initial prognosis (very positive, though it was weird that it manifested on my rib, so far from a lymph node) and what needed to happen next (a CT/PET scan). He also walked me through the best, worst and medium-cases for treatment, based on different scan outcomes. This was really good, as it helped me think through how I would manage upcoming events – book tours, a book deadline, work travel, our family Christmas vacation plans – based on these possibilities.

The oncologist gave me a number for Kaiser Nuclear Medicine. I called them from the parking lot before leaving the Kaiser hospital and left a message for the scheduler to call me back. Then I drove home.

This was my fourth mistake. The Kaiser hospital in LA is the main hub for Kaiser Southern California, and the Nuclear Medicine department was right there. I could have walked over and made an appointment in person.

Instead, I left messages daily for the next five days, waited a weekend, then called up my oncologist's staff and asked them to intervene. I also called Kaiser Member Services and filed an "urgent grievance" (just what it sounds like) and followed up by filing a complaint with the California Patient Advocate:

https://www.dmhc.ca.gov/

In both the complaint and the grievance, I made sure to note that the outgoing message at Nuclear Medicine scheduling was giving out false information (it said, "Sorry, all lines are busy," even at 2am!). Again, I was really careful to say that the action I was hoping for was both a prompt appointment for me (my oncologist had been very insistent upon this) but also that this was a very broken system that would be letting down every patient, not me, and it should be fixed.

Within a couple hours, I had a call back from KP grievances department, and an hour after that, I had an appointment for my scan. Unfortunately, that was three weeks away (so much for my oncologist's "immediate" order).

I had the scan last week, on Hallowe'en. It was really cool. The gadget was awesome, and the rad-techs were really experienced and glad to geek out with me about the way the scanner and the radioactive glucose they infused in me interacted. They even let me take pictures of the scan visualizations:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/doctorow/54108481109/

The radiology report was incredibly efficient. Within a matter of hours, I was poring over it. I had an appointment to see the doc on November 5, but I had been reading up on the scans and I was pretty sure the news was good ("No enlarged or FDG avid lymph nodes are noted within the neck, chest, abdomen, or pelvis. No findings of FDG avid splenic or bone marrow involvement").

There was just one area of concern: "Moderate FDG uptake associated with a round 1.3 cm left inguinal lymph node." The radiologist advised the oncologist to "consider correlation with tissue sampling."

Today was my oncology appointment. For entirely separate reasons, I was unable to travel to the hospital today: I wrenched my back over the weekend and yesterday morning, it was so bad that I couldn't even scratch my nose without triggering unbearable spams. After spending all day yesterday in the ER (after being lifted out of my house on a stretcher), getting MRIs and pain meds, I'm much better off, though still unable to get out of bed for more than a few minutes at a time.

So this morning at 8:30 sharp, I started calling the oncology department and appointment services to get that appointment changed over to a virtual visit. While I spent an hour trying various non-working phone numbers and unsuccessfully trying to get Kaiser appointment services to reach my oncologist, I tried to message him through the KP app. It turns out that because he is a visiting fellow and not staff, this wasn't possible.

I eventually got through to the oncology department and had the appointment switched over. The oncology nurse told me that they've been trying for months to get KP to fix the bug where fellows can't be messaged by patients. So as soon as I got off the phone with her, I called member services and filed another grievance. Why bother, if I'd gotten what I needed? Same logic as before: if you have the stamina and skills to demand a fix to a broken system, you have a duty to use them.

I got off the phone with my oncologist about an hour ago. It went fine. I'm going to get a needle biopsy on that one suss node. If it comes back positive, I'll get a few very local, very low-powered radiation therapy interventions, whose worst side effect will be "a mild sunburn over a very small area." If it's negative, we're done, but I'll get quarterly CT/PET scans to be on the safe side.

Before I got off the phone, I made sure to get the name of the department where the needle biopsy would be performed and a phone number. The order for the biopsy just posted to my health record, and now I'm redialing the department to book in that appointment (I'm not waiting around for them to call me).

While I redial, a few more lessons from my experience. First, who do you tell? I told my wife and my parents, because I didn't want to go through a multi-week period of serious anxiety all on my own. Here, too, I made a mistake: I neglected to ask them not to tell anyone else. The word spread a little before I put a lid on things. I wanted to keep the circle of people who knew this was going on small, until I knew what was what. There's no point in worrying other people, of course, and my own worry wasn't going to be helped by having to repeat, "Well, it looks pretty good, but we won't know until I've had a scan/my appointment/etc."

Next, how to manage the process: this is a complex, multi-stage process. It began with a physician appointment, then a radiologist, then a pathology report, then surgery, then another pathology report, then an oncologist, then a scan, then another radiologist, and finally, the oncologist again.

That's a lot of path-dependent, interdepartmental stuff, with a lot of ways that things can fall off the rails (when my dad had cancer at my age, there was a big gap in care when one hospital lost a fax from another hospital department and my folks assumed that if they hadn't heard back, everything was fine).

So I have been making extensive use of a suspense file, where I record what I'm waiting for, who is supposed to provide it, and when it is due. Though I had several places where my care continuity crumbled some, there would have been far more if I hadn't done this:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/26/one-weird-trick/#todo

The title of this piece is "how to have cancer," but what it really boils down to is, "things I learned from my own cancer." As I've noted, I'm playing this one on the easiest setting: I have no symptoms, I speak and write English fluently, I am computer literate and reasonably capable of parsing medical/technical jargon. I have excellent insurance.

If any of these advantages hadn't been there, things would have been a lot harder. I'd have needed these lessons even more.

To recap them:

See a frontline care worker as soon as possible: don't wait for an appointment with a specific MD. Practically any health worker can prod a lump and refer you for further testing;

Get a direct phone number for every specialist you are referred to (add this to your phone book); call them immediately after the referral to get scheduled (better yet, walk over to their offices and schedule the appointment in person);

Get a timeframe as to when your results are due and when you can expect to get a follow-up; call the direct number as soon as the due-date comes (use calendar reminders for this);

If you can't get a call back, an appointment, or a test result in a reasonable amount of time (use a suspense file to track this), lodge a formal complaint with your insurer/facility, and consider filing with the state regulator;

Think hard about who you're going to tell, and when, and talk over your own wishes about who they can tell, and when.

As you might imagine, I've spent some time talking to my parents today as these welcome results have come in. My mother is (mostly) retired now, and she's doing a lot of volunteer work on end-of-life care. She recommends a book called Hope for the Best, Plan for the Rest: 7 Keys for Navigating a Life-Changing Diagnosis:

https://pagetwo.com/book/hope-for-the-best-plan-for-the-rest/

I haven't read it, but it looks like it's got excellent advice, especially for people who lack the self-advocacy capabilities and circumstances I'm privileged with. According to my mom, who uses it in workshops, there's a lot of emphasis on the role that families and friends can play in helping someone whose physical, mental and/or emotional health are compromised.

So, that's it. I've got cancer. No cancer is good. This cancer is better than most. I am almost certainly fine. Every medical professional I've dealt with, and all the administrative support staff at Kaiser, have been excellent. Even the doc who dropped the ball on my biopsy was really good to deal with – she was just clearly drowning in work. The problems I had are with the system, not the people. I'm profoundly grateful to all of them for the help they gave me, the interest and compassion they showed, and the clarity and respect they demonstrated in my dealings with them.

I'm also very grateful to my wife, my parents, and my boss at EFF, all of whom got the news early and demonstrated patience, love, and support that helped in my own dark hours over the past couple of months.

I hope you're well. But you know, everyone gets something, eventually. When you find yourself mired in a broken system full of good people, work the system – for yourself and for the people who come behind you. Take records. Make calls.

Look after yourself.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/05/carcinoma-angels/#squeaky-nail

[mythicalmaven]

Helloooo love, could I have nr 1, 13, 23(reader) and 28 with Daniel ricciardo?🤍 so needy for him

Forbidden - Daniel Ricciardo (requested)

As requested: a Daniel Ricciardo fanfic with a few prompts from the list! It's my first Ricciardo fanfic, so I hope I wrote it like you hoped lol :) It turned out a little longer than I expected, but I honestly like how it turned out! (I didn't proofread it, so excuse any mistakes lol)

masterlist | promptlist ↳pairing: daniel ricciardo x female!verstappen!reader ↳word count: 7,7K ↳prompts used: 1 - 'Use my thigh", 13 - "You're fucking soaked". 23 - "I..Uh.." - "I have never done this before" & 28 "We shouldn't do this" ↳warnings: friends to lovers, brothers teammate trope, age gap (8 years), kissing, alcohol, drunk, explicit sexual content, 18+ (MDNI!), jealousy, sexual tension ↳summary: In which it's 2017 and Max Verstappen's twin sister gets a little too involved with her brothers teammate

You honestly had no idea how you'd come up with the not-so-clever idea of getting wasted in a Monaco nightclub, but right now, you couldn’t care less. The music thumped through the room, blending with the haze of alcohol and dim, colorful lights, and a certain curly-haired Australian who had slipped off to the bar for another drink lingered in your mind.

As the beat softened into something deeper, sultrier, you found yourself moving with Carlos once more. His hands rested casually on your hips, his thumbs brushing over the fabric of your dress as you swayed together. Ever since your twin, Max, joined the Formula 1 grid, Carlos had become one of your closest friends.

Carlos leaned in, his lips close to your ear, his voice a low murmur against the music. "So… when are you finally gonna hook up with Danny?"

You scoffed, playfully swatting the back of his head. “Oh, shut up, will you?”

Carlos only grinned, knowing exactly how you felt about Daniel. He'd been trying to push you toward him for ages, but as always, you deflected. “I don’t think Max would be thrilled if I hooked up with his teammate,” you replied, though a part of you knew that wasn’t the real reason you’d been holding back.

Carlos shrugged with a smirk. “Did you forget how convinced Max was that we were hooking up back at Toro Rosso? He didn’t seem too bothered by that idea, did he?”

You rolled your eyes, chuckling as you swayed in rhythm with him, your fingers linking behind his neck. “Yeah, vividly. But that was different…” You let out a laugh, trying to keep your tone casual. “For one, our age gap was a lot smaller than Daniel and mine.”

Carlos raised an eyebrow. “You’re 20, who cares? Daniel’s 28—it’s not like he’s ancient.”

Sighing, you dropped your forehead against Carlos’s shoulder. “Besides, even if he would consider hooking up with me, he’d probably be disappointed. I’ve never… well, you know. I’ve only gone as far as giving a guy a blowie in a club bathroom, and even that was a drunken disaster. Somehow, I doubt a 28-year-old is looking for a hookup with a 20-year-old virgin.”

Carlos chuckled under his breath, rolling his eyes as he shook his head. “You're really that blind, aren't you? The guy is absolutely head over heels for you.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but Carlos shifted his grip, spinning you around so your back pressed against his chest, his arms wrapping around your waist to guide your movements. To anyone watching, it looked like a slow grind, intimate and close, even though he left enough space to keep things comfortable.

He steered you both around the dance floor, inching you closer to the bar. “Look at him,” Carlos murmured in your ear, lifting a hand to tilt your chin ever so slightly. “See for yourself.”

Your gaze landed on Daniel, and your breath caught in your throat. There he was, leaning against the bar, drink in hand, his eyes fixed on you with an intensity you hadn’t seen before. His jaw was tight, his lips set in a straight line as he took in every shift of your body against Carlos’s, his gaze dark, brooding, and unmistakably heated. The way his eyes drifted, tracing the curve of your legs, lingering on your hips as they moved, made your heart race. He wasn’t just watching; he was studying, every look brimming with tension and frustration.

Carlos’s laughter hummed against your back, pulling you out of your trance. “The guy’s been staring daggers at me since the second we started dancing.”

“No way,” you murmured, forcing yourself to keep your voice steady, even though your pulse hammered in your ears. “He’s just… looking. Nothing more.”

Carlos raised an eyebrow, his smirk widening as he leaned down to murmur against your ear, “Who are you trying to convince? Me… or yourself?”

“Fuck,” you huffed, feeling your cheeks flush under Daniel’s gaze, heat spreading through you in a way that felt as dangerous as it was thrilling. “I need more alcohol.”

⁺⋆⁺₊⁺⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⁺⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⁺ ⋆⁺

Hours and too many drinks later, you’d long since shed your usual shyness, finding a brazen confidence in the music, the crowd, and the glimmer of alcohol-fueled ease in every movement. The world felt hazy but thrilling, every pulse of the bass reverberating through you as you let yourself sink into the beat.

Carlos watched your transformation, amused at how you threw back shots and laughed a little louder than before. At one point, you looked back at him over your shoulder, eyes bright and mischievous, completely oblivious to the intensity with which a certain Australian had been watching you both.

With a chuckle and a playful push, Carlos nudged you forward, aiming you right in Daniel’s direction. “Go on, dance with him already,” he teased, his smirk saying he knew exactly what he was doing.

You stumbled into Daniel, feeling his hand steady you, his fingers lingering just a second too long as you regained your balance. “Well, fancy seeing you here, Ricciardo,” you quipped, your voice carrying an edge of flirtation that you didn’t usually dare with him.

Daniel’s lips curled into that easy, charming smile, his fingers still on your waist. “Fancy that. You’re looking a little… spirited tonight,” he replied, his eyes raking over you with a mixture of amusement and something darker, something almost hungry that you couldn’t miss, even in your haze. He was trying to play it off, keep things casual, but his gaze lingered just a bit too long, drawn to the curve of your hips, the dip of your collarbone, and the dress that had ridden up just enough to reveal more of your thigh.

“Oh yeah?” you leaned in close, fingers grazing up his arm, catching the way his eyes followed every movement. “What do you mean, ‘spirited?’” You were close enough to catch the hint of his cologne, something warm and subtly spicy, like he was, and it made you feel just a little bolder.

Daniel chuckled, but his fingers tightened slightly at your waist as if grounding himself. “Just saying,” he replied, “I don’t usually see you dancing like that.” His eyes sparkled with a mix of fondness and something a little more conflicted. He was trying so hard to keep things cool, but you could tell he was affected. “Especially with Carlos. Didn’t know he was your type.”

You laughed, moving your body a little closer to his, playfully ignoring the tension that brewed between you. “Carlos? Nah. He’s more like… a dance partner for the night. Besides,” you added, looking up at him through your lashes, “I think my type is just a little taller… curly hair.. and definitely Australian.”

A flicker of something like surprise crossed his face, his eyes briefly widening before he collected himself. He swallowed, looking away, almost as if to compose himself. “Is that so?” he murmured, his fingers curling at your waist, his voice low.

Just then, the music changed to something slower, a sensual rhythm that had you pressing a little closer against him. Daniel’s hands slipped to your waist, pulling you flush against him, his heartbeat thrumming fast under your hands as you settled into a rhythm together. You let your body sway, your hips pressing against him as his hands guided you, holding you steady and closer than he should.

“Gotta stop moving like that,” he mumbled, his voice tight, a strained note of amusement as he tried to mask how breathless he sounded.

You looked up at him with a smirk. “Why?” you asked, feigning innocence, though the mischievous gleam in your eyes told him you knew exactly what you were doing.

He swallowed, his gaze darkening as his grip on your hips tightened, pulling you flush against him. The movement brought you closer than before, and in that instant, you felt him—hard, pressing against you through his jeans, undeniable and unrestrained. A thrill shot through you as your eyes met his, your gaze drifting downward for a fleeting second, then back up to find his expression transformed, conflicted and charged. His voice was rough, edged with that undeniable tension. “You know very well why,” he murmured, his tone thick with barely restrained desire and frustration, his fingers gripping your waist as if to hold himself back.

Your lips parted in surprise, but you didn't move away. Instead, you let a slow smile spread across your face, your body swaying against him just enough to deepen his predicament. Daniel’s jaw clenched, his gaze darting down to where your bodies pressed together, his expression shifting between longing and resistance, the internal battle clear as he tried to keep himself grounded, even as you blurred every boundary between you.

You felt the heat radiating off him, the subtle hitch in his breathing, the way his fingers trembled slightly against your waist.

⁺⋆⁺₊⁺⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⁺⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⁺ ⋆⁺

Hours later, you stumbled out of the bathroom, trying to make your way back to the dance floor but feeling far less coordinated than before. The world tilted slightly as you bumped into a table, a stray chair, and even a few club-goers who offered you amused or annoyed glances.

“Alright, I think you’ve had enough to drink for one night, darling,” came a familiar voice from behind, warm and steady. Before you could turn, a hand wrapped around your upper arm, steadying you, and the familiar scent of Daniel surrounded you, grounding you.

You turned to him with an exaggerated pout, his arm still holding you up. “I… I’m definitely… not,” you managed, words slightly slurred as you tried to shake off his grip, failing miserably. He chuckled softly, clearly amused.

Daniel’s gaze softened, his eyes roaming over you with a mix of tenderness and barely concealed desire. Your dress had shifted, one strap sliding off your shoulder, the hem hitching up to reveal more skin than you intended. He took in the sight, pausing for just a moment too long before swallowing hard and composing himself.

“Let’s get you sorted out here,” he murmured, reaching to fix your dress. His fingers brushed over your shoulder, grazing your skin, and he swallowed hard, the gentle touches sending a thrill through you. His hands moved lower, trying to straighten the hem, and his fingers brushed over the curve of your thigh, a touch that made you let out a soft, involuntary whimper. His eyes darkened, and he hesitated, looking like he wanted to pull away but unable to tear himself away from the way you looked at him.

“Mm… feels nice,” you murmured, leaning into his touch, your gaze half-lidded as you looked up at him, lips parted slightly. You noticed how he tensed, his jaw clenched, clearly struggling to resist.

“Come on,” he said, clearing his throat, his voice a little rough. “Let’s get you back to the hotel.”

He led you through the club, supporting you with one arm wrapped securely around you. As you stumbled along, your hand brushed over his chest, lingering a little longer than necessary, your fingers tracing small patterns as you walked. He glanced down, swallowing, his throat bobbing as he tried to keep his focus. Along the way, you nearly collided with Max, who took one look at you and raised an eyebrow.

"I'm bringing your sister back to the hotel," Daniel explained, nodding toward you with a hint of amusement. "She’s absolutely hammered."

Max smirked, his eyes flicking between you and Daniel. "You sure? I can take her back if you’d rather stay. I know she can’t hold her liquor."

“Hey!” you interjected, stumbling slightly as you tried to regain your balance, waving off your brother with a slurred, “I-Ik ben niet eens d-dronken…” (I’m not even drunk). You gave him a half-hearted glare, rolling your eyes in exaggerated annoyance.

Daniel glanced at Max with a small, amused shake of his head. “I have no clue what she just said, but don’t worry, I’ve got it,” he reassured him. “I was planning to head home anyway, and besides,” he added with a smile, “our apartments are in the same building anyway, so it's no hassle”

Max nodded, giving you a quick pat on the shoulder before turning back to Daniel. "Alright, mate. Get her home safe."

With that, Max watched as Daniel guided you gently but firmly toward the exit, his grip steadying you as you leaned against him, too tipsy to resist.

When you reached the curb, he helped you into a cab, sliding in beside you. You leaned against him, head resting on his shoulder, your hand slipping to rest on his thigh, your fingers drifting ever so slightly higher, sending a rush of heat through him.

“You’re drunk,” he murmured, his voice low and strained, trying to keep his breathing even.

You looked up at him with a playful, tipsy grin, fingers tracing the fabric of his jeans. “So?”

He bit his lip, fighting a losing battle against his own desires, his hand covering yours to stop its teasing ascent. He’d never seen you this forward, this flirtatious, and though it thrilled him, it terrified him all the same. The line between you had always been thin, but tonight, with every touch, every brush of your skin against his, you were slowly erasing it.

When you arrived at the apartment building, you had began starting to sober up a tiny little bit. Still wasted obviously, but it seems as if you had a little bit more control over your own actions.

As you fumbled through your purse, your expression shifted from confidence to frustration as you realized your keys weren’t there.

“I… I had them,” you muttered, searching again, only for the reality to settle in. “I must’ve left them with Carlos or Max.”

You looked up at Daniel with a mischievous glint in your eyes, swaying slightly on your feet. “Guess that means I’m staying with you?”

Daniel hesitated, his resolve weakening as he searched your face, taking in the way your lips quirked in that daring, flirtatious smile. He was already in too deep, the familiar ache in his chest too hard to ignore. After a moment, he let out a resigned sigh, offering a small, reluctant smile as he nodded.

“Yeah, alright,” he said softly, his hand brushing over your back as he guided you inside. “But you’ve gotta promise me you’ll go straight to bed.”

You leaned in, closer than necessary, your breath warm against his cheek. “We’ll see about that,” you murmured playfully, sending one last spark of heat through him as he led you toward his apartment, both of you caught in a delicate balance of desire, restraint, and the thrill of the unspoken between you.

⁺⋆⁺₊⁺⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⁺⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⁺ ⋆⁺

Daniel led you to his kitchen, pulling out a stool by the bar, gesturing for you to sit. But you had other ideas. Following him over to the sink, you leaned back against the counter, lifting yourself up onto it. Your dress slid up as you settled, exposing nearly everything to anyone watching.

Daniel turned off the tap, glass in hand, and was about to pass it to you when he caught sight of you. His gaze trailed over your bare thighs, and his breath hitched, eyes widening as he muttered, “Fuck.” His eyes lingered, and he dared to glance lower, noticing the smallest glimpse of black lace between your slightly parted legs.

Swallowing hard, he gripped the counter edge, his knuckles whitening as he fought the overwhelming urge to close the distance between you, his lips already tingling with the desire to claim yours. Forcing himself to look away, he pressed the glass into your hand, his voice husky and tight. “Drink this. It'll help,” he murmured, barely able to keep his composure. “I’ll… I’ll go grab a shirt for you. So you don’t have to sleep in that dress.”

You downed the water in one swift gulp, letting your gaze drift back to him. The proximity hit you both, close enough for you to see the tension in his jaw and the way his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. But what captured your attention most was the unmistakable bulge in his jeans, straining against the fabric, betraying the restraint he tried so hard to maintain.

A slow smirk crept across your lips as you reached out, letting your fingers graze his arm, traveling in a slow, tantalizing path up to his shoulder, then down his chest, inching ever closer to his belt. But before you could reach it, his hand shot out, gripping your wrist firmly. “We… we shouldn’t do this,” he muttered, voice low and rough as he gently pushed your hand away, though his touch lingered just a second too long, his resolve wavering.

Undeterred, you hopped down from the counter, stepping forward until there was barely any space left between you. Confidence you hadn’t realized you possessed surged through you, and you reached out, cupping him through his jeans. He let out a sound that was somewhere between a gasp and a moan, his resolve crumbling under the pressure of your touch.

Bringing your lips close to his ear, you whispered, your voice a hushed, sultry tease, “That’s what you say… but your body’s telling me something else entirely.”

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Daniel forced himself to gather every shred of self-control he could muster, putting a few steps of distance between you before he turned on his heel, heading to his bedroom to grab a shirt from the closet. His mind raced as he moved. He wanted you—God, he wanted you more than anything—but he knew you were drunk, teetering on that edge where even a soft touch or glance was hazy with the thrill of it all. And as much as he ached to feel your lips on his, to let every longing he’d harbored for so long finally spill over, he didn’t want to take advantage of your current state.

Yet, you were making it damn near impossible to keep his composure. Every touch, every glance, every whisper made his restraint crumble bit by bit, leaving him clinging to the last threads of resolve.

When he made his way to the bathroom with the shirt in hand, he stopped in the doorway, noticing you struggling with the zipper of your dress, your back turned to him. The zipper was halfway down, leaving a tantalizing glimpse of your bare skin, and his heart pounded harder, fighting between propriety and desire.

“Danny, can you help me with the zipper, please?” Your voice was soft, but the note of longing was unmistakable, each word sparking something primal within him.

He hesitated, but before he could stop himself, he stepped forward, leaving the shirt on the sink, and positioned himself behind you. His fingers brushed your skin as he reached for the zipper, feeling the warmth radiating off you. You shivered at his touch, a soft, involuntary whimper escaping your lips that sent a jolt through him. He dragged the zipper down slowly, his fingers grazing your skin, unable to resist lingering for just a moment longer than necessary.

Once the zipper was down, you slipped the straps off your shoulders, the dress falling effortlessly down your frame, pooling at your feet. Daniel’s breath caught in his throat as he took you in, standing before him in nothing but your black lace lingerie. He clenched his jaw, feeling a wave of heat course through him, the last of his rationality slipping as his eyes traced over every curve, every inch of you laid bare.

You turned to face him, the look in your eyes a mixture of vulnerability and desire, a silent plea that tugged at the very core of him. Reaching up, you let your fingers graze the stubble on his jaw, caressing his cheek as you held his gaze. “Kiss me, Daniel,” you whispered, your voice barely audible, a soft, desperate invitation.

It was all he needed. His restraint finally shattered, and he closed the distance between you in a heartbeat. His hand cupped your cheek, fingers threading through your hair as he captured your lips in a kiss that was fierce, urgent, filled with all the pent-up emotion and longing he’d been holding back. You melted into him, pressing closer, every brush of his lips igniting sparks that spread through your body.

His hands slid down to the small of your back, then lower, gripping your thighs as he lifted you effortlessly, setting you onto the countertop of the bathroom sink. He stepped between your legs, his body pressing firmly against yours, grounding you in the heat and solidity of him. You wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. The slight tug on his hair drew a low, guttural moan from him, his chest heaving as he leaned into you, lost in the feel of you against him.

His hands roamed over your body, sliding along your curves, his touch sending shivers down your spine. You gasped against his mouth, a sound that turned into a soft moan, each note pushing him closer to the edge of his composure. He deepened the kiss, his tongue slipping past your lips, exploring, tasting, savoring every second. You could taste the hint of whiskey on his lips, warm and heady, mingling with his natural, intoxicating flavor. Every brush of his tongue against yours sent a surge of heat pooling between your legs, each movement building the need that pulsed through you.

Daniel pulled you closer, his grip tightening as you felt his hardness pressing against you, undeniable, unmistakable. The sensation made you dizzy, your entire body responding to him, the ache between your thighs intensifying as you instinctively rocked your hips against him. His breath hitched, and he let out a soft, unrestrained groan, his head dipping to press heated, open-mouthed kisses along your jaw, down to the sensitive spot behind your ear. His lips left a trail of warmth, each kiss setting your skin alight, making you ache for more.

“Daniel,” you murmured, voice barely a whisper, breathless as you held him closer, “I need… I…”

He pulled back just enough to meet your gaze, his eyes dark and filled with a barely contained fire. “Use my thigh, love,” he murmured, his voice thick with desire, encouraging you, his words laced with both restraint and indulgence. The suggestion was almost too much, the heat in his eyes spurring you on, each word sending another pulse of arousal through you.

You didn’t hesitate, shifting your hips to grind against his thigh, a soft moan slipping from your lips as you felt the friction, your panties already damp against his jeans. Daniel’s hands gripped your waist, guiding you, his own breath coming faster as he watched, the sight of you losing yourself in the pleasure unraveling him bit by bit.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, his voice rough as he pressed a kiss to your temple, his hands urging you to move, encouraging every motion. “Been wanting this… wanting you… for so damn long.” He buried his face in the crook of your neck, kissing and nipping at your skin as he spoke, his voice shaky, every word spilling out in a way that only fueled the fire between you.

“Seeing you with Carlos tonight,” he murmured, his lips brushing the sensitive skin just below your ear, “it drove me crazy. Couldn’t stand it. I wanted to kill him for touching you” He paused, lifting his head to look into your eyes, his gaze raw, vulnerable, every wall he’d built around himself now shattered. “I’ve wanted you like this… needed you like this… for so long.”

Every word, every touch, every heated gaze pushed you further, his encouragement spurring you on as you moved against him, feeling the delicious friction, the warmth spreading through you as you both succumbed to the intoxicating pull of each other.

Daniel’s breathing grew ragged as he watched you move against his thigh, each roll of your hips sending a wave of heat through him. The way you looked at him, with that mixture of need and adoration, was undoing him in the best possible way.

Your breathing came in shallow, needy gasps as you looked up at him, eyes heavy with desire. “God, Daniel… you have no idea how good you look right now,” you murmured, your voice thick with arousal.

Your soft moans and whispered praises only fueled him more, each one pushing him to explore, to give you everything you were craving. His gaze darkening even more as he captured your lips in a searing kiss, pouring every ounce of pent-up desire and affection into it.

Without breaking the kiss, he slid you back a little on the counter, his hands gripping your hips firmly. You gasped as his fingers traced the edge of your panties, his touch light but electrifying, and he paused, his gaze meeting yours as if asking for permission.

You gave a small nod, your breath catching as his hand slipped beneath the lace, his fingers brushing over you, his touch igniting every nerve ending. His breath hitched when he felt just how wet you were, a low groan escaping his lips as he murmured, “God, you’re soaked.”

The words sent a thrill through you, making you arch into his touch, craving more. His fingers moved with deliberate slowness, exploring and teasing, drawing out your reactions, each moan and gasp fueling his own desire “The way you make me feel… God, it’s like you know exactly what I need.”

Your words lit a fire in him, a spark that deepened the hunger in his gaze as he pulled you closer. His lips curved into a smirk, fingers dipping lower as he murmured, “Yeah? I think I could get used to hearing that.”

He watched you intently, captivated by every expression, every sound that escaped your lips as he continued, building the tension higher with each movement.

You clung to his shoulders, your nails digging into his skin as his fingers moved with perfect rhythm, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. He whispered soft words of encouragement, his voice low and full of affection. “That’s it, love… you’re doing so well. Let go for me,” he murmured, his tone both comforting and enticing.

And then, as his touch pushed you over the edge, a wave of pure ecstasy washed over you, and you cried out his name, your body shuddering as he held you through it, his gaze never leaving yours.

Once you came down from your high, your hand started making their way to Daniel's jeans, intending to return the favor, yet your movements where halted once again by his fingers around your wrist "I won't be able to hold back if you continue" he mumbled, his lips pressing soft kisses against the skin of your neck.

"Maybe that's the point" you whispered seductively.

He shook his head "As much as I would love to, I'm not sleeping with you while you're drunk" he whispered as he pressed one last kiss against your cheek, before he pulled away, grabbing the shirt that was still on the sink with his free hand, assisting you to pull it over your head "We'll talk about it tomorrow, and then we'll see"

As if the post orgasm haze started to kick in, you felt yourself getting tired, giving yourself over to the Australian driver as he carefully lifted you off of the sink and carried you over to his bedroom, placing you down onto it.

He was intending to get up and sleep on the couch, just in case you wouldn't remember things tomorrow, or worse, remember it, but regretting things. But the soft plea that left your lips stopped him in his tracks "Please, stay with me?"

It was as if his legs moved on their own accord, slipping into the bed next to you, feeling you crawl into his arms, your head resting on his chest. Once he noticed you were sound asleep, he grabbed his phone from his pocket and send Max a quick text:

Daniel: Your sister is sound asleep btw, she's crashing here, since she apparently forgot her keys or something.

Max: Figured as much indeed, Carlos came over and handed me her keys, said she forgot to take them before she left. Max: Thanks for letting me know, I'll torture her tomorrow about her headache ;)

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As the soft morning light filtered through the curtains, you stirred, feeling the gentle warmth touch your skin as you blinked awake. It took a moment to piece things together, the room unfamiliar, the quiet hum of an unfamiliar space settling around you. When realization dawned, it hit all at once. This wasn’t your apartment—this was Daniel’s.

Your eyes widened, and you scanned the room, momentarily panicked. But the bed beside you was empty, the sheets cool to the touch, which brought a small wave of relief. Sitting up slowly, you took a breath, glancing down to see yourself dressed in one of Daniel’s shirts. The soft fabric brushed your skin, and you realized, with a sudden blush, that you were only in his shirt and your lingerie.

Heart pounding, you swung your legs over the side of the bed, trying to clear the fog of last night’s hazy memories. The details were elusive, flashes of warmth, laughter, and maybe… something more. You felt oddly refreshed, but the lack of clarity gnawed at you. You took a deep breath, steeling yourself to find him, needing some answers.

Moving carefully down the hallway, you made your way to the bathroom, hoping to splash some water on your face, collect yourself before facing him. You twisted the doorknob, assuming the room would be empty. Instead, steam filled the space, and you froze, the faint outline of a figure behind the frosted shower door capturing your attention.

Your gaze locked on the silhouette, recognizing Daniel immediately—the shape of his shoulders, the familiar line of his back. A rush of heat flooded through you, your mind replaying a rush of emotions from last night, and you pressed your thighs together instinctively, trying to banish the sudden surge of desire. You knew you should turn around, slip out quietly, but you were rooted to the spot, utterly transfixed.

Before you could retreat, Daniel turned off the shower, reaching for a towel and wrapping it low around his waist before stepping out. His gaze landed on you, his mouth curving into a smirk, droplets still trailing down his chest and abs. His dark hair was wet, small drops sliding from his curls, and the steam radiated off his skin, casting him in a hazy glow.

“Well, good morning to you too,” he said, his voice a rich, low rumble, his signature smirk making your pulse race. “If you wanted to see me naked this bad, all you had to do was ask. No need to sneak up on me.” His tone was teasing, though his gaze held a hint of something deeper, something almost daring you to respond.

Your cheeks flushed, and you raised your hands to cover your face. “Oh God, I’m so sorry,” you stammered, feeling a mix of embarrassment and that same lingering heat from last night.

You heard him chuckle softly, and when you dared to peek through your fingers, he’d already dried off and slipped into a shirt and a pair of boxers. He stepped closer, gently pulling your hands away from your face, his expression softened, a trace of warmth in his morning-rough voice. “No need to be so shy, darling,” he murmured, the words filled with a quiet affection that sent a shiver down your spine.

You glanced at him, unable to ignore how close he was, feeling both relieved and oddly disappointed that he was now dressed. You couldn’t deny how good he looked, fresh out of the shower, the lingering scent of soap and warmth filling the space between you.

But the question weighed on your mind, and finally, you managed to ask, “Please tell me we didn’t…?”

Daniel’s gaze softened further, his eyes flickering with an understanding smile as he placed a steadying hand on your shoulder, letting it linger for just a moment before he replied. “If we slept together? No, we didn’t.”

A breath you hadn’t realized you were holding slipped out in relief. Before you could fully process it, though, Daniel added, “But I’m also not gonna pretend that you didn’t try to… and I’m definitely not going to act like nothing else happened.”

His words hung in the air, and you felt your breath catch, a wave of both nerves and arousal coursing through you. “Oh God,” you mumbled, lifting yourself onto the countertop by the sink, feeling a little dizzy, staring at the floor as you tried to piece together what he meant. “What did I make you do?”

Daniel leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, his gaze steady and entirely too knowing as he took in the expression on your face. “You didn’t make me do anything, darling,” he said softly, his tone gentle yet firm. “It takes two to tango.”

The words lingered in the quiet, settling over you with a weight you couldn’t ignore. He shifted, stepping closer, his gaze never leaving yours. “Let’s just say… this isn’t the first time you’ve sat on that countertop in the last 24 hours. Although, last night it was for… different reasons.”

As soon as he said it, memories rushed back in vivid, unfiltered flashes—the feel of his hands, the press of his lips, the way he held you as if he’d waited forever to do so. Your cheeks flushed deeper, the weight of those memories flooding you, the reality of what had happened leaving you breathless.

“Oh God,” you murmured, looking down, struggling to meet his eyes. The blush deepened, and you tried to banish the embarrassment, but it was impossible to hide the way your body reacted to just being near him, recalling every detail of last night.

Daniel watched you, his gaze contemplative, and he let out a small sigh, pressing his lips together before speaking. “Look… you were drunk. I’d had a bit to drink too. I understand if you regret it” His voice was steady, but there was a subtle tension underneath, as if he was holding something back.

You took a deep breath, fiddling with your hands as you struggled to find the right words. "Yeah, about that.." you said, taking a deep breath before continuing "There might be a slight problem to that"

Daniel studied the way you were acting, unsure of what to expect “We can pretend it didn’t happen, if that’s what you want. That's no problem” he offered, though his tone held a hint of something unresolved, something unsaid.

Finally, you looked up at him, your gaze meeting his, the sincerity in your expression clear. “Well… I guess the problem is that..” you whispered, voice barely audible at first, but then you gathered your courage and continued, “I don’t regret it, Daniel… not at all.”

The words hung in the air between you, thickening the silence, every hidden feeling and unspoken desire now out in the open. His eyes widened slightly, the guarded expression slipping as something raw and vulnerable crossed his face.

Daniel's eyes softened at your words, the vulnerable confession drawing him closer, dissolving any remaining space between you. He stepped forward, situating himself between your legs once more, just like he had done last night, but this time you were both sober.

His presence warm and steady, grounding you in the intimacy of the moment. His hands reached up slowly, one gently cupping your cheek, his thumb brushing a soft line along your skin, the other tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. His gaze was deep, intense, and full of affection as he looked into your eyes, his face only inches from yours.

"Good," he whispered, his voice low and tender, “because I don’t regret it either.”

Without another word, he closed the distance, his lips finding yours in a gentle, unhurried kiss. There was no urgency, only a steady, deliberate affection that conveyed every unspoken emotion he’d held back. His kiss was soft and careful, full of warmth, each touch of his lips conveying the depth of his feelings as he held you close.

When he pulled away, his forehead rested against yours, and you both shared a quiet, contented breath, wrapped up in the warmth of the moment. But the tenderness only fueled the lingering desire that had simmered between you both, and with a sudden burst of confidence, you grasped the collar of his shirt, pulling him back to you.

This time, the kiss deepened, your lips moving in sync as the restraint melted away, giving way to something more fervent, tinged with longing. His hands moved to your waist, pulling you even closer, his fingers splaying against your skin. The gentle intimacy turned heated, your mouths exploring, tongues teasing as the passion escalated with each passing second. You could feel his breath hitch as your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, and he groaned softly against your lips, sending a shiver down your spine.

Without breaking the kiss, your lips began to wander, trailing a path from his mouth to his jaw, where you lingered, pressing soft, teasing kisses that made him shudder under your touch. You could feel the subtle stubble against your lips, the warmth radiating from his skin as you moved lower, planting slow, lingering kisses along his neck, tasting the faint hint of his cologne mixed with his natural scent. Each kiss seemed to draw a deeper, ragged breath from him, his chest rising and falling as he leaned into every touch, unable to hold back the quiet sounds of pleasure escaping his lips.

You let your hands roam freely, exploring the strong lines of his shoulders, fingers tracing down the curves of his chest, feeling the firm muscles beneath his shirt. His pulse thrummed beneath your touch, quickening with each passing second. He swallowed hard, his breathing growing heavier as you continued, savoring every inch of him.

“God, Daniel,” you whispered against his neck, letting your lips brush the words over his skin. “You have no idea how good you look like this… or how good you feel.” Your voice was soft but laced with genuine admiration and a suggestive edge that had his grip on your waist tightening.

“Fuck…” he muttered, his voice thick with need as your words and touch clearly had an effect on him. He tilted his head back, giving you more access, his eyes closing for a moment as he absorbed the sensations.

Your lips brushed his ear, and you could feel him shiver as you whispered, “I’ve wanted this for so long, wanted to feel you… just like this.” Your words spilled out as you continued trailing kisses, his low groan fueling your confidence as you let your hands drift lower.

You let your fingers slide down his torso, tracing every line and curve of his body with deliberate, teasing slowness. Your hand finally ventured to the waistband of his boxers, and you pressed your palm against him, feeling the unmistakable hardness through the fabric. His breath hitched, a deep, guttural sound escaping his throat as he instinctively pushed into your touch, his fingers digging into your waist.

“God, you feel incredible,” you murmured, palming him gently, feeling his arousal grow beneath your hand, hardening with each brush of your fingers. “I’ve wanted this for so long, Daniel… wanted to know how you’d feel like this,” you admitted, voice a mix of admiration and desire.

“Shit… you’re… you’re killing me here,” he managed, his voice a strained whisper as he looked down at you, his eyes dark and filled with unrestrained want. His hands roamed your back, pulling you closer, his breathing growing heavier as he lost himself in every touch, every word you murmured against him.

You continued your slow, deliberate movements, letting your fingers trace along his length through the fabric, a satisfied smile crossing your face as he groaned in response, his hips pressing into your hand. “God, you look so good like this,” you breathed, meeting his gaze for a moment, taking in the way his face was flushed, his expression filled with raw, unfiltered desire.

“Keep talking like that, and… fuck, you’re gonna drive me insane,” he rasped, his voice low, rough with need, his hands gripping your hips with more intensity, clearly unable to resist the effect you were having on him.

Emboldened by his reaction, you slipped a hand inside the waistband of his boxers, your fingers wrapping around him, and his entire body tensed, a shuddered moan escaping his lips as he exhaled sharply. As you started running your thumb along his length, savoring the way he twitched in your hand, his face contorted with pleasure as he bit his lip.

“God… that feels so good,” he gasped, his voice barely above a whisper as he looked down at you, his expression a mixture of awe and arousal. His hands roamed up and down your back, and you could feel the effect of every touch, every word, as his breathing grew heavier.

Between breaths, you whispered softly in his ear, “I want you, Daniel. All of you.” The words tumbled out, filled with a raw honesty that made him draw back just enough to meet your gaze.

In one swift, effortless motion, he lifted you, your legs wrapping around his waist as he carried you to his bed. He laid you gently onto the soft sheets, hovering over you as his lips met yours once more, igniting the same passion that had brought you here. Each kiss was heated and lingering, hands tracing and memorizing every line, every curve, savoring every moment that had led to this.

As his lips left a trail of kisses along your collarbone, your breaths came faster, and the anticipation tightened around you. But then when Daniel started removing your panties, you felt a familiar wave of nerves rise, and your voice trembled slightly as you spoke.

“I… uh…” you began, hesitating, feeling vulnerable but needing him to know. “I’ve never done this before.” The words left you in a shy, almost apologetic murmur, your cheeks heating as you admitted it. You lowered your gaze, fidgeting slightly under his gaze, before adding, “I mean, I’ve done… other things. Just… never got to, well, this part.”

He paused, taking in your words, his expression softening instantly. Cupping your face gently, his thumb brushed along your cheek, his gaze reassuring and kind. “Hey, there’s no pressure here. We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with,” he whispered, his voice steady, genuine. “We can take it slow. Or… we can keep things just like this.”

You bit your lip, the vulnerability still lingering as you met his gaze. “You’re not… disgusted, or something?” you asked, feeling a wave of self-consciousness bubble up. “I mean, I probably won’t be… any good. You’re… you know…” You trailed off, your face warming as the words left you.

He let out a soft chuckle, leaning forward to kiss you gently, his lips reassuring as he lingered for a moment before pulling back to look you in the eyes. “Disgusted? Not even close,” he murmured, a faint smile on his lips. “And I promise you, that thought never even crossed my mind.” His thumb brushed along your cheek again, his gaze warm and encouraging. “Honestly, it doesn’t matter to me. Not at all.”

You took a steadying breath, feeling his words soothe the nerves that had crept in. A smile tugged at your lips as you looked up at him, heart pounding with a mixture of excitement and newfound confidence. “I don’t want to take it slow,” you admitted softly, voice barely above a whisper, but the words full of determination. “I want it to be with you, Daniel. I’ve… I’ve thought about this more times than I dare to admit,” you confessed, the warmth of your cheeks betraying the shyness that lingered, but you held his gaze.

His eyes softened at your words, a slow smile spreading across his face as he leaned down, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead. “Then I'm all yours,” he whispered, his voice filled with affection.

Without another word, Daniel leaned down, capturing your lips in a kiss that was deeper, hungrier, every ounce of restraint between you both slipping away. His hands roamed up your back, pressing you firmly against him as your bodies melded together, the heat between you palpable. His lips moved over yours with an urgency that matched the rhythm of his heartbeat, each kiss filled with the passion that had built up over all this time, all the unspoken moments leading up to this.

Your hands tangled in his hair, pulling him even closer as you felt his quiet groan against your mouth, his own hands exploring your curves, fingers tracing your waist and pulling you flush against him. His body hovered over yours as his gaze met yours, filled with both desire and a lingering tenderness that made your heart race.

His lips found yours again, and you welcomed him with a fervor that matched his own, your mouths moving in perfect sync as the kiss grew deeper, more intense. You could feel his body pressing into yours, the weight of him grounding you, making the moment feel all the more real. His hand traveled down your thigh, lifting your leg to wrap around his waist as he settled between your legs, his hips pressing against yours in a way that made your entire body ache with anticipation, before slowly but surely entering you inch by inch.

Between kisses, his hands caressed every inch of your body, learning and savoring every curve, every response he drew from you. His mouth left a trail of kisses along your jaw, down your neck, lingering on the sensitive spots that made you gasp, your fingers digging into his shoulders as he continued his slow, intoxicating descent. Each kiss, each touch seemed to stir something deeper within you, the desire building to a crescendo with every shared breath.

“Fuck…” you whispered, your voice soft and laced with longing, and he looked up at you, a question in his gaze, waiting for any hint of hesitation.

But you only pulled him closer, guiding him to you as your hands roamed his back, feeling the muscles tense beneath your touch. He leaned down again, his lips finding yours as the kiss deepened, turning into something that went beyond words—a culmination of everything you’d both been holding back.

In that moment, every barrier fell away, and you lost yourselves in each other, the moment filled with soft murmurs, quiet laughter, and the tender, passionate intimacy you’d both waited far too long to share.

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[intimidating-fettuccine]

This post is coming from me in my space of panic and resignation that I have been in all day, but I just. I felt the need to say anything at all.

Please do what you can to survive. This week, for the next few years, maybe forever. Please do what you can to survive. We cannot give up, we have to remain unified and continue supporting each other. That is all we can do. I don’t know what the future will look like, but we should be prepared to handle anything.

If you are like me, a female, I wish you so much support. With the rights we are about to lose, please keep yourself safe. Look into birth control if you can, especially IUDs or implants, I’ve been doing that myself. Please only surround yourself with people that you know are trustworthy. I’ve seen lots of women saying they’re going to be joining the South Korean 4B movement (not dating, having sex with, marrying, or having children with men), and honestly I encourage it. Even if you’d like to be a mother, it’s not safe anymore. If something goes wrong with your wanted pregnancy, there’s an incredibly high likelihood that you will not be able to receive care. That is a horrific reality, but it’s something we need to be aware of. If you are in a safe, loving relationship I am incredibly happy for you and I wish you the best. If you are not, or if you are single, do whatever you can to get to a safe place, please.

To any of my LGBT+ followers, please remain safe. Please, please, please be careful, with what you say, with who you talk to, with how you present yourself. I can’t even imagine how terrifying things might become, but I don’t want any of you to be ashamed, to stop being who you are. Just please be safe in how you do so. I wish you all so much luck and love because you all deserve to be free to express yourselves, to live as who you are in freedom and not be so heavily judged and prosecuted and punished. Please have safe spaces, and safe people to surround yourself with if you can. This blog will ALWAYS be a safe and inclusive space for you. I see you, and I accept you, and I support you so much. Please take care.

My support goes out to everyone who is about to be effected, because it is about to be more than just women and LGBT+ members, but I wanted to touch on those two specifically because they are the ones closest to me. I love you all. I’m sorry that this is how things turned out, but we need to keep going. We need to stay strong. We need to keep fighting and surviving because they want us to give in and we can’t do that. It might get incredibly tough next year, in the next four years or even longer, but you cannot give them the satisfaction. You have to outlive them, to prove to them that you can survive and that you deserve to be here.

I don’t particularly care if anyone thinks I’m being dramatic about this and I’m not trying to fearmonger. I don’t want anyone to be scared, but I can’t hide the fact that I’m scared. That I don’t know how things are going to look moving forward. But I care about each and every one of you.

Continue living with airport rules right now (doing whatever it takes to get to your destination of the future). He’s not in there yet. We are still safe right now. Please do what you can to prepare and to steel yourself for any outcome. But, for the next couple weeks, please just take care of yourselves. Indulge in activities you love, eat food you love, sleep as much as you can, take care of yourself as much as you can. You are not alone in this. Everyone that voted for her, we are all in this together. We cannot forget that.

I love you all so much. Please be safe. Know that you are not alone. Be strong, and be proud of what you fought for and who you are. You deserve to be here, and you deserve to be who you are.

[reactionimagesdaily]

Reaction images aside, how are you holding up?

Aww, thanks for asking. :P

To be honest, I'm probably doing better than most. I'm a healthy cishet white man who lives in the UK, so I don't have nearly as much to worry about as I know a lot of people do. (Also hey, I'm enjoying the new Dragon Age game, so that's been nice.) But I also know what kind of ramifications this election is bound to have, both inside the US and beyond.

(I mean, the world's biggest democracy is getting overtly more hostile and authoriarian in real time (y'know. again), and I know on this side of the pond we've got some real brain donors who'd love to see something similar happen here. I'm worried about what Trump could do once he's back in charge, and I'm worried about what might happen to my own country, with it's 'special relationship' to the US, as a result. And I'm not alone in that.

All this on a fuckin' Wednesday...)

Anyway, I had a longer thing written out here about the concept of orthopraxis (just while I was trying to get my thoughts in order, lmao) but the core of what I want to say is this:

I think we're about to see an uptick in people being shitty

I'm going to counter that by doing un-shitty things

What do I mean by un-shitty things? Well, I've been meaning to participate in Amnesty International's 'Write For Rights' campaign for months - I just fired off my first email today. I've already donated to causes supporting Gaza in the past, but now I'm also planning to write to my local MP about how annoyed I am that my country is still culpable in genocide. Make my voice heard, you know? I also want to keep making art that people enjoy, because I think that's important. And I'm going to buy another commission from an artist I like, because they could probably use something good in their life right now. And... to be honest, I'm not sure what else I'll do yet. When I figure it out, though, I'll try and actually do it.

Maybe for you, un-shitty things mean something smaller scale. Hugging your loved ones for longer, or giving that loose change you always carry around to the next homeless person you see. That's good too. Maybe it's something larger in scale, and that's awesome! But to anyone who's reading this, I'd definitely recommend doing something that not only feels good, but is also TANGIBLE. Not only does doing feel good, but it means that you're improving someone else's life, in however small a way. Which, y'know. Net positive, innit.

(Yes, I'm aware this is basically the 'when you see someone being so mean it inspires you to be kinder meme', lmao. No, I don't really care.)

You asked me how I'm holding up? Well, the first thing I'd like to do is respond to your question in kind: how are you holding up? In a general sense? In specific ways? Hopes, anxieties, plans?

And the next thing I'm going to do is tell you that I'm more than holding up.

I'm locking in.

[muffinsin]

Hello muffin how are you? I would like to make an order if it’s ok for you, I wanted a Cassandra cg and small reader - anon miranha 🕸️🕷️

Hey, hon! :) I’m great, getting to write a lot XD how are you? And of course! Let’s not use the word “order” though, yeah? XD!

I figured since I mainly write HCs about this, and this is just Cassie, imma get to write a little fluff snippet :)🙌

Let’s get into it

Masterlists

You awaken to soft warmth and strong arms holding you tightly. Yawning, you begin to rub at your eyes tiredly, your hands blindly reaching for your favorite stuffed animal.

Then, a grunt, just a little above you. You giggle at this, opening your eyes at last to look around curiously. As you do on nearly every morning, you’ve awakened in your mama’s bed, surrounded by silk, red sheets and pillows, your stuffed animal and, of course, your mama.

You smile widely as you see her, still propped up against the pillows and holding you to her chest, the exact same position she fell asleep in. Her hair is laid out against the red sheets, some covering her face. You reach up curiously, tapping her lip a few times and giggling when your fingertip comes back painted black. Having just fallen asleep unexpectedly, this is one of the few rare mornings Cassandra awakens with her makeup still on.

She groans tiredly, pulling you a little closer to her, and you smile widely in response. She’s so caring with you, so comfy, and, of course, so nice and cool! You curl up against her larger body, happily cuddling your stuffy to you. With the blankets and room this warm, you always find immense comfort in your mama’s cold skin.

Taking her hand in yours, you slowly begin to paw at the palm, tracing the few scars visible on her pale skin curiously. For now, you feel content, happy to stay in bed and curl up for a little longer.

You lean into your mama, nuzzling your stuffed animal against your cheek gently. By now, it’s adapted the scent of the castle and your mama, and you love it.

You lean down against her comfortable chest, giggling when she hums in her sleep, clearly aware of your presence. In the beginning, mama woke up from it often. Now, she only tightens her hold on you.

You play with her fingers next, lifting each and letting it fall back against the covers. Sometimes, this causes a few flies to break off momentarily and buzz around you. You love this game!

It doesn’t take long, though, until the brunette eventually begins to stir and awaken. When she does, you immediately look up, captivated by the beautiful, golden eyes of your mama. You bite into your blanket, biting down passively as you watch her stretch and pull you closer.

“Good morning, you”, she greets, her voice low and raspy, her lips moving to a smile. You grin back at her. You don’t feel like talking now, feel far too small to do anything but bask in your mama’s love and presence.

And, as always, she seems to know this.

She traces your back lovingly and gently combs her fingers through your hair, humming a familiar tune you’ve heard play in the castle at various times. It seems, she also isn’t in a rush this morning.

You curl up against the sheets again, your eyes slipping shut, your body relaxing completely. She’s holding you close despite how tired she still is, too, and her loving touches at your hair and back are enough to make you fall asleep again.

Some time later, Cassandra stirs just as some of the sun’s light filters through the heavy curtains of her room, a bright morning glow softly illuminating her surroundings. She stretches, feeling the warmth of you still curled close against her. You’ve managed to snuggle so deep into her embrace. Your tiny form is almost completely pressed right up against her, your breathing slow and steady as you nestle under her chin.

A smile tugs at her face as she watches you, happy, content, safe. All things you should be, and all things she can provide you with.

She lifts her head slightly, just enough to see the way your face relaxes, framed by wisps of hair that have escaped overnight.

And her heart softens, to see you like this.

While she’s been very used to waking up on her own, she likes this far better. You’re her first sight in the morning, and the last thing she lovingly gazes upon before falling asleep.

Carefully, she shifts so that her arms wrap you protectively, her touch steady and comforting. Looking to the windows, she decides it’s at last time for both of you to stay up.

You blink groggily as she wakes you, your little eyes struggling to adjust as you emerge from sleep once more. “Mmmama…?”, you murmur, your voice drowsy, your eyes heavy.

You could easily go back to sleep, now, warm and comfortable, clinging to the person you love most.

She chuckles softly, the sound deep and warm. “Morning, sleepyhead”, she murmurs, pressing a light kiss to your forehead. Her voice is still raspy and low, as it is every time after she wakes up “Did you sleep well?”, she hums, stretching her arms to help her stay awake.

You only nod, far too sleepy to answer her verbally now. And as you nestle closer to her, it becomes quite clear you’re still not quite ready to face the day.

Your mama’s hand traces slow, reassuring circles over your back again, her fingers gliding over the fabric of your pajamas. She’s careful not to nip at you or the fabric with her sharp nails. As always, your mama takes extra care in ensuring your safety and well being.

She revels in the feeling of you in her arms, so trusting and content, and all hers. She loves you exactly as one would love their little one, and sees you as just that.

Moments like these are precious, rare glimpses of calm in her usually chaotic life, and she treasures every one. You’re everything to her.

“You were fidgeting in your sleep”, she teases gently, brushing a stray hair from your face as you whine and giggle. “Had a dream about something?”, she hums, her voice light.

You give only a sleepy little shrug, your head tucked against her shoulder as you close your eyes again, murmuring something too soft for even her to hear. She smirks, shaking her head fondly. Despite being the one made of bugs, flies, you’ll always be her sleepybug, it seems.

“Guess you’re not quite ready for the day, hmm, little bug?”, she whispers, letting her chin rest atop your head. For a little bit, she merely listens to your heartbeat, gentle and alive.

You respond with a soft hum, your hands clutching the fabric of her nightgown, not wanting to let go just yet. Cassandra’s heart aches with the love she has for you as she holds you close, rocking you gently. She’d never admit it, but she’s grateful for your clinginess. There’s a peace in being needed this way, a gentleness she rarely indulges in.

It’s rare for her to feel needed like this, in a way that isn’t about hunting or sorting out Daniela. You need her, in every way, and she loves it. She loves to take care of you, to love you, to feel your love in return. She almost wishes you’ll never grow, that you will forever remain as you are, hers, always.

Minutes pass like this, the world outside brightening as morning takes over.

She can feel you slowly waking up more, your breathing changing as you shift a little in her arms, blinking at the light filtering through the dark red curtains. She waits, patient, her fingers brushing over your back, letting you take your time. She isn’t one to rush a morning, usually at least.

Finally, you let out a soft sigh and glance up at her, rubbing at your eyes once more.

You say nothing, but smile up at her, holding onto your blankie and stuffed animal again, clearly more awake than a little while ago.

“Good morning, little one”, she replies, unable to resist planting another soft kiss on your forehead. She adds another just at the space between your brows and giggles when it has your brows furrow adorably. “Think you’re ready to get up now?”, she teases.

You nod, though you still make no move to leave her arms. Instead, you just smile up at her, eyes shining with warmth, love and trust that makes her heart swell.

You watch as your mama’s expression softens and sigh comfortably as she tightens her embrace.

You grin and nestle into her, your arms wrapping around her waist as you let out a contented sigh. There’s a safety you feel in Cassandra’s arms, one that chases away any lingering traces of sleepiness or bad dreams, and she can feel your relaxation against her as she holds you.

Her hand moves up to stroke your hair, her fingers combing through it with a gentleness reserved for only those she cares about deeply.

You feel another kiss pressed to your head and gently press one to her neck, where you rest your face comfortably. You press your stuffy against her, as though to add another kiss.

And with that, she stays there just a while longer, simply holding you close as the world brightens outside, both of you savoring the quiet, peaceful morning that is all your own.

She knows; eventually her sisters will come find you. Eventually, Daniela will show, whining about this and that before trying to play with you. She knows, eventually Bela will remind her about breakfast, about lunch, about hunting.

But for now, this morning is yours alone.

[literally-loco]

My Boys' Girl (18+)

Pairings: John Price / Simon "Ghost" Riley / Fem!Reader / Johnny "Soap" MacTavish Content Warnings: Voyeurism, mentioned exhibitionism, she/her pronouns used for reader Word Count: 1.1k A/N: Shorter fic this time-I've got a longer one in the works tho! Also-If anyone has any fic suggestions PLEASE tell me and i'll try my best xoxo

———————————————————————— “She wanted to show off for you, Cap.”

————————————————————————

John Price knew what his boys got up to in their spare time. He didn’t have to be told-he saw how they looked at each other, how they’d cuddled up to each other in the back of the van when they thought no one was looking, how they’d instantly look at each other at the mention of an “early finish.” He knew what they got up to. Not that he cared-he loved his lads like they were family. He’d shot enough evil glares at anyone who dared to criticize or gossip about the two. But what he didn’t know was how they’d managed to pick up you. The pretty little thing he’d seen clutching Johnny’s arm when they went to the pub, with the most beautiful eyes. He was happy for his lads-how they’d found home in each other, but God his eyes were drawn to you. Your perfect curves, your breasts (even if it made him feel like a dick), and your eyes. He could envision them looking up at him through those beautiful lashes, lips wrapped around his cock. 

He felt terrible about it. The lads obviously liked you a lot, and you’d been nothing but nice to him. And here he was-fantasizing about you. He’d often find himself getting off to you, wearing whatever tight little dress he’d seen you in. Cock in hand, imagining it was your mouth he was fucking. Nearly every night he’d flick through the selfies he’d gotten from MacTavish, nearly every photo including you. 

And then another notification came through-a photo, as usual. But it wasn’t the usual jokey selfie-which usually included you draped over the lads in some sort of way. This was different. This photo was…new. Evidently Ghost’s hands-based on the glove-tilting your face up by the chin, with your big, beautiful eyes staring into the camera. Eyes lidded every so slightly, with a blissed out look on your face. God you looked perfect. 

He hadn’t realized how long he’d been staring at that picture, his cock already stiffening in his trousers, until the next one came through. He exhaled sharply through his nose, gripping the arm of the chair a lot tighter than he had previously. It was like he could feel all the blood in his body rushing down, as he caught sight of you in the photo. Ass up in the air, face down in the pillow. Ghost’s hands were clearly holding your hands behind your back, and your pussy was barely covered by the lacy piece of string you called a thong. 

“She wanted to show off for you Cap.” The text read, and Price sucked in a breath. His hand swiftly reached down to palm his now painfully hard cock through his trousers. He could just imagine slipping his fingers inside you-finding that sweet spot deep inside you that would make your toes curl. 

His fingers were pressing the call button before he knew what he was doing. 

“Evening Captain. To what do we owe the honor?” Johnny’s voice rang out, sounding slightly too amused with himself.

“Photos, MacTavish. What was up with that?” Price asked, his voice catching in his throat slightly at Johnny’s ever so evil chuckle.

Price swears he can hear the plot in Johnny’s head as he spoke, the soft rustling of the duvet giving away where exactly he was. “Why don’t I put her on the phone for you?” 

————————————————————————

You could barely think-but somehow managed to pull yourself together enough to take the phone off of Johnny. “He-Hey John!” You squeaked out, instantly covering your mouth to conceal the moan that dared to try to escape your lips. Ghost’s hands gripped your hips, fucking into you at such speed you wondered how his knees didn’t give out, with his cock hitting that sweet spongy part deep inside you. 

“Heard you wanted to show off for me, love?” His voice rumbled through the phone, dark and smooth like a good whiskey. That teasing tone, the soft chuckle in his words, it was enough to send a shiver down your spine. “Go on then. Talk to me.”

At that, Ghost picked up the pace, hands gripping the flesh of your hip so tight you were sure it would leave bruises. “Is he making you feel good, love? Making your legs shake?” You inhaled a strangled gasp, biting your lower lip slightly. 

“Asked you a question.” Ye-ah-” You whined, bucking your hips back against Ghost. Something about having Price on the phone, with Ghost fucking you like his life depended on it, and Johnny watching from the corner-it felt so dirty. But so good. “Need-need to cum-” 

“I know you do, love. Gonna cum for me?” Ghost’s hands found your clit, earning a string of moans out of you. “Yeah she is-can feel her squeezing around me. So fucking tight-and wet-” Ghost’s thrusts grew staggered, his hips slamming into yours. You didn’t care to be quiet anymore, there was no point. 

————————————————————————

John already knew what was going on. He’d known before he’d called. He knew when he called that you’d be on your back-but he hadn’t expected to be listening. It felt dirty. But God the way your sweet little moans had him gripping his aching cock, and his head tossed back over the chair. Bucking his hips up into his hand, imagining he was fucking your soft little cunt. “Gonna cum for me?” He’d asked-and the gasps and moans he got in return had him gasping for breath. 

“I know you need it, love.” He murmured into the phone, trying his hardest not to cum before you. “Be a good girl and cum for me.” He needed to hear you cum. To hear those gorgeous gasps as you came on his Lieutenant’s cock, imagining he was the one balls deep inside you. “Come on, love, cum for me.” 

And the shuddering moans he received was enough for him to spill over his hand. Panting heavily-he was barely aware enough to hear Ghost’s cursing gasps as he followed. 

“Enjoyed the show then, Captain?” Johnny’s voice was back, sounding equally out of breath as the rest of them. “Should’ve seen it in person-she played such a good girl when you got on the phone.” His words sent another shudder down his back.

“You knew then?” 

“Had a hunch. Couldn’t keep your eyes off of her.” Price groaned as his hand-the clean one-came up to cover his face. He’d been that obvious. The whole time. 

“Don’t worry lad-she’s already eager to see you again. I’m always down for a good show-and Simon’s pretty interested in seeing how she’d take both of you.”  Well shit. The next pub meet was going to go very well for him.

[reason-with-the-underdog]

so it's a situationship (ND version)

ok but imagine if alhaitham had in his youth dismissed romance novels as "silly" and only as an adult (post-breakup) did alhaitham start finding value in reading them

so kaveh's very much unprepared for haitham bringing a new romantic male lead energy to their "friendship"

alhaitham, in the days and months after their breakup, starts to read romance novels and character-focused fiction as a way to figure out went wrong in their final confrontation & to understand why kaveh cared so deeply for the feelings of other people to his own detriment

meanwhile, kaveh taped together the torn up thesis and then buried himself with work so he could graduate on time, establish his career, build the palace, etc

which is how we get to where alhaitham seems to have grown a lot since their fight (which was his "rock bottom")

while kaveh's been so busy, he never had time to reflect deeply on the fight

...not until he became bankrupt and homeless & alhaitham was suddenly right there holding out a helping hand

which is why we see kaveh's growth in real time!

kaveh needed a more stable and supportive environment to finally realize the changes in alhaitham and in himself and what that means for how they can relate to each other...!

notice how kaveh's always taken aback when alhaitham suddenly behaves differently than expected

backing down instead of continuing to argue over philosophies

overthrowing the government (!!!)

practically begging to be thanked

the thing is: kaveh is so used to his akademiya-era understanding of alhaitham that its startling when alhaitham has in fact grown up from that unsociable little junior who scoffed a little at his senior when kaveh was distraught over the MC's heartbreak in a novel he was reading

because now apparently alhaitham not only reads that same novel series, he has a personally signed copy of the sequel! and has the next book on pre-order! kaveh hasn't even had the time to read the last three volumes he's been so busy

what is this!! when did alhaitham change??

(what else has kaveh missed in those missing years when they didnt talk to each other)

anyways so nowadays you'll find them curled up on the couch together reading two books from the same romance novel series and kaveh is elbowing alhaitham bc "no spoilers!! you know i haven't had time to catch up until now!"

also consider that the focus on all the nonverbal cues of attraction in these romance novels that alhaitham read finally clued him into the fact that kaveh prob was attracted to him back then

and that their "friendship" may have been seen as something deeper by everyone else...

basically:

kaveh liked alhaitham in their akademiya days, and he figured he was SUPER obvious about his crush and pretty much did everything besides straight up confessing "i like you in a way that's more than friends. lets date"

but alhaitham never picked up on the signs.... so kaveh figures that there's no interest on alhaitham's part.

and kaveh would never outright say "i want to date you romantically" to alhaitham bc of his own experiences with feeling pressured after someone asks him out

(he says yes out of pity and then it ends after the first few dates at longest)

...kaveh didn't want a pity date from alhaitham. so no confession, and he buries those feelings deep down because friendship is good, too

meanwhile alhaitham has no idea what normal platonic friendships are like vs romantic friendships vs romantic relationships (also they're literally teenagers here, being geniuses only makes them worse at figuring this stuff out honestly)

it's only after alhaitham reads several romance novels that he figures out kaveh's feelings post-breakup... unfortunately kaveh is no longer talking to him at that point so......

alhaitham spends the breakup period coming to terms with his feelings & accepting that yeah he loves kaveh

its actually fun for him in an intellectual way how his heartrate will accelerate upon seeing that kaveh's published a response to his latest paper or message board note

plus, kaveh is a public figure so its easy enough to keep tabs on his general well being. even thought kaveh avoids seeing alhaitham in person, they are still communicating over text in an academic way so that's good enough

alhaitham at that fateful tavern meeting never expected anything more, but one thing after another and now they're living together

and oh this is so much better.

and worse.

romance novels never include that the love interest hogs the bathroom for hour-long showers. and those love interests also don't start hammering away at models at 3 am

but alhaitham now gets to see kaveh wide-eyed with excitement over his epiphany (even if its at 11 at night), and he's the first one kaveh tells when he discovers a new blend of coffee he likes or when the bazaar vendors give him a special deal on his favorite fruits

it's funny, kaveh complains constantly about all the books alhaitham leaves scattered throughout the house, but he fails to notice that there are quite a few romance novels incorporated into alhaitham's daily readings

now, as an adult who's done his research (so many novels!) alhaitham's more prepared to notice the signs of romantic interest!

...unfortunately he can see that kaveh acts similarly to how they were in akademiya except with more distance...

which means.... kaveh's not interested anymore

& alhaitham can see how kaveh's still led by his guilty conscience, which is why kaveh goes out of his way to do kind things for alhaitham in return

so: kaveh no longer returns his feelings.

it's ok. there's still value in observing his own emotional responses around someone he loves, even if those feelings are not returned in the same way

[quinnverse]

“You flatter me, Mister Bolton.” She retorted in a dry tone. “But I have a feeling I’m not the only one who thinks poorly of you. I’m just the only one brave enough to do something about it. I'm not some arse-kisser who's going to lick your boots like the rest of your conquests might be eager to do. I, for one, despise you and I will not allow you to forget it.”

I told you to leave Finnegan alone. I told you, I told you, I told you. The more he told her things, the less she wanted to listen, but he didn't care. Emma knew that men like him were probably used to people taking his word as gospel. While the world bent to his every whim, she would stand her ground and remain resilient against his orders.

"What makes you think I'm inclined to listen to you? I told you I won't marry you, but you don't listen to me. It's awfully frustrating, isn't it?" Emma crossed her arms over her chest, knowing full well that she was being catty over the situation, but too deep into her ire to backtrack. “Besides, I enjoy the sea as well. I spend a lot of time on ships traveling across the pond. Perhaps, him and I might find ourselves married to it together. And far, far away from you.”

He gritted his teeth and Emma thought, for a split second, that he might raise his hand to strike her. She braced herself for the force of his hand, but when it clasps onto her neck and brought her closer to him, she froze. It took her a long moment to realize what was happening, in the moment and in her body as she resisted the urge to wrap her arms around him and tug at his clothes. His soft groan sparked a fire in her stomach and she nearly gave in until he tugged on her lip with his teeth and broke the spell.

“Get off of me!” Breathlessly, she shoved him away, batting at him with her arms like a feral cat. Her lips still tingled with the taste of him but she tried to ignore it. It scared to her to think that if she'd spent a moment longer kissing him, she might not be able to control herself. If she spent another second with his tongue in her mouth, she might end up begging him to take her virtue here on the barn floor.

“What is wrong with you? Jesus H. Christ, do you have no shame?” The words flew from her lips with a small spray of spittle, her own mind unsure of who the words were directed at. Shaking her head of the embarrassing thoughts, she wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand. It didn’t matter that she wanted to continue, that she enjoyed the way her body warmed at his touch. She didn’t want him. She couldn’t want him.

Ignoring the furious blush on her cheeks, Emma shot a quick, panicked glance towards the barn door. His friend could easily meander back in to witness such a scene. She doubted the man would be too offended by it, but it would certainly make it harder for her to continue her flirtatious charade if he caught her canoodling his partner. Or even worse, she realized, her father could decide to pay an impromptu visit to the stables and stumble upon this horrid scene. Then, she would have no choice but to marry him. Then, she would lose the game entirely.

“I can pursue whoever I damn well please. You're not my father and you're certainly not my husband. So, if Mister Finnegan likes me, I don’t need your permission to reciprocate his affections."

When he spoke, she bristled, fingers curling into fists at her sides. Her eyes glowed with anger as she stared up at him. I don't think it will be difficult to prove to him just what kind of woman you are. Emma gawked, brows furrowed in disbelief.

“And, pray tell, exactly what kind of woman is that? The type that is harassed and threatened by men with no concept of the word ‘no’? Or the type that is hunted and bedeviled and, now, accosted in the safety of her own goddamn home?" She perched her hands on her hips, a spark of defiance catching alight in her chest. “Or do you merely mean to stick your nose into this because you’re upset it isn’t you I’m flirting with?"

She found it harder and harder to maintain her composure around him and Emma was infuriated by how easily he managed to pester her. Belle had told her more than once that she was lucky to be an only child, but she was beginning to realize that having the practice of an obnoxious younger brother would've helped prepare her for such a thing. Normally, she considered herself unflappable, but the presence of this heinous mam had proved that perhaps she wasn't as invincible as she thought.

“Our agreement was that you behave yourself. That very same agreement is the only thing stopping me from giving you a matching bruise on the other side of your stupid face. Either follow the rules of the game, or the deal is forfeit.”

Taking a step back, Emma tried to collect herself. She wiped the sweat of her hand off onto the bodice of her gown, flattening out the rumpled fabric. Whenevr she was around him, she felt like a child. They argued like children, teasing and tormenting one another, and--not for the first time-- she found herself wishing they were children so that a swift kick to his shin wouldn't be considered uncalled for.

"Really, Mister Bolton, do you think behaving like a child will make me want to marry you? Because as far as I can tell, Mister Finnegan is twice the man that you are! And if he got on his knees and proposed to me right now, I’d be damned well tempted to accept!”

She didn’t mean to raise her voice, didn’t even realize she was shouting until she heard the echoes of her words reverberate throughout the barn. Gritting her teeth, Emma lowered her voice and spoke in an even tone.

“I might remind you that I gave you the chance to act upon your carnal desires, but you refused. You had the chance to kiss me, touch me, ravish me, and whatever else you please, but you thought your hand far more suitable for the job, so you don’t get to choose me now that your britches have grown too tight." The words were laced with more venom than she had intended, realizing only in that moment how desperately she had wanted him to accept the offer to follow her to her boudoir.

Huffing, she began towards the door, only pausing to toss a warning over her shoulder. "I urge you to behave yourself, or I will match your immaturity. And I will do it far better than you."

"I assure you, I have no idea what you're talking about." Emma affected a look of faux innocence, her eyes wide and imploring. "Your friend is quite the catch. Especially compared to you."

Benjamin snorted. "No argument. But perhaps it is you who brings out my alleged loathsome side."

Emma's eyes narrowed at the unspoken challenge. "Tell me, do you think he's the marrying sort? You couldn't possibly marry a woman who's already engaged, now could you?"

Benjamin bristled. "I told you to leave Finnegan alone. He's married to the bloody sea, so you can drop this charade whenever you're finally ready to admit this is merely an attempt at proving your point."

A darkness shrouded Emma's eyes, stark and chilled akin to a deadly ocean. "Are you threatening me, Mister Bolton?" She stepped forward, crowding his personal space.

"When it comes to my friends and loved ones, then yes, I suppose I am," Benjamin fired back.

She simpered. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were jealous." Smug in her amusement, she raised a challenging brow. "Don't tell me you're actually starting to take interest in me. I'd hate to break your heart."

Benjamin gritted his teeth. With vindictive fanfare, he curled his hand around the back of her neck, then yanked her forward until their lips were clashing in a fierce, almost painful kiss that rolled through him in needful waves. Even with her smug mouth otherwise detained, she was so damnably infuriating. His goal was to stop her sneer, to make her regret her decision, and yet with their tongues tangling and his hand twisting through her hair, it was difficult to ignore his own mounting want as he groaned into her mouth and gently bit down on her bottom lip.

This was the kiss that had haunted him -- baited him, tortured him -- and breathless, he finally broke away from her in a huff, his eyes glittering as he warned, "You leave Finnegan alone. I don't think it will be difficult to prove to him just what kind of woman you are." Wiping the back of his hand against his mouth, he coolly gestured her onward. "After you."

[puppy-phum]

Pit Babe Characters x Cartomancy ➣ Part 6: Pete & Way

King of Diamonds: A person with great wealth and power. Often skilled in various areas, a jack of all trades. Ten of Spades: A card of misfortune and tragic endings. Reveals secrets, obsessions, and lies.

for @pitbabeanniversary week 6 prompts: pete & way

(more thoughts under the cut!)

disclaimer: i am not an expert in either cartomancy or tarot reading. i did a lot of research on these two sites to come up with these cards for the characters. some of the meanings associated with the cards are still only my own interpretation, so they might not be completely accurate.

pete and way are the last pair in this series and i have to say that it feels fitting. they are the pair with no ending, the pair left the most incomplete in season 1. way dies for redemption (which is stupid imo) before he's able to ever open up to pete and his attempts to get closer to way. pete is only left with a grave, yet nothing seems to end. (pls s2 come quicker, i need way to have his glorious back from the dead -moment already!)

pete: just like alan, i think pete's card is very obvious and so, very cliché. he's the king of diamonds through and through, the person often associated with money and power. he's very proud of what he's accomplished in life, yet always thrives to be more, to be bigger, better, more powerful. he's in a war against his adoptive father in the only way he knows how, and so he must always be on the rise. he has no chance of letting loose, and i think we all can agree that he works way too much and rests too little. he is often stuck being not quite himself, lonely at the top. it must be hard when we can see that beneath the business persona, pete is horribly warm.

this is why king of diamonds is also described as charitable, generous, and reliable. once again, pete is a lot like alan, but where alan offers his heart, pete offers resources: money, connections, and his skills. he's tried his best to become invincible in every way just like his adoptive father seems to be. he's great in socializing, in doing business, even in combat and tactics. he's driven by his wish to help, and i guess that often ties to his compassion and understanding. that's why he hasn't given up on kenta and that's why he instantly reaches out for way, too. pete might not be able to provide a family in the way alan does, but pete is able to reach out a helping hand. he can offer a place to stay for those who have nowhere else to go and no one else to listen to them. he cares, and just like with work, it's sometimes too much. he does not get a break from it.

way: it was easy to decide that spades was way's suit; a little later, i decided on number ten. i was first thinking about ace of spades bc it's the death card of the deck, but i did not want to make way only about his death when it's the thing i dislike about his character so much. so, i decided on ten bc of the "tragic ending", which is not way's death, even if it kind of is. i think the true tragic ending comes for him earlier; with the reveal of his betrayal that causes him to lose everything he's ever had. he loses his pack, his family, his home; he loses himself, and all his self-worth, and worst of all, babe. bc he does love babe, even if it's in all the wrong ways. way has tried his best, has tried to do what he thought was right, and in the end, it is not enough to solve anything or save babe. (and so he must die, but let's ignore that.)

in a sense, the reveal of that betrayal is both the end and a beginning for way. after it's it's a way for him to be born again. he can give up on all the lies, all the acting and pretending. he's used so much time and effort keeping up his web of lies he must be exhausted by now. how many times did he almost trip? how many times did he forget what lies he'd told and had to come up with new ones, or had to use his powers to fix his mistakes? now, there's no longer need for any of that. he can finally breathe freely. no more lies, no more acting, no more being someone else. everything is out in the open and it must be terrifying bc the ppl who loved him before, would they reject this real version of him? even if they were not this hurt, didn't hate him, would they still not want way? what if tony is right and there's nothing to love about him? i don't know but i hate that the series never let way find out. but well, in season 2 we trust, i suppose. i have hopes and dreams about it <3

but based on these thoughts, it's easy to see why pete and way would work together. way is the master of deception, of lies and acting. pete is able to read people, literally and figuratively. there's no hiding from him and his touch, and i think in some ways, way needs exactly that. he needs someone to understand him without words, or to look into his head and put his thoughts into words for him. pete again needs someone he can trust with his softer side, which i also find interesting about him: he is so ready to offer his heart to way even after knowing who way is and what his powers can do. pete seems like a paradox in that sense, always keeping everyone and everything at a distance (or so i assume), yet being so ready to believe in ppl and offer them trust he's seen so easily broken.

there are also some other interesting connections to this pair i wanted to mention. the funniest coincidence imo is that babe's card is about new beginnings, while way's card is now about tragic or bad endings. also, charlie's card being the exact half of way's (5 and 10) seems to have some kind of story behind it. pete again has the same suit as kenta, both their cards in the royal family, and i think that's exactly why they work and don't work together. pete is exactly like the king, the one on top and in control, while kenta is the knight, the person who serves and follows. they're both calm in personality, tho am not sure if it's exactly who they are or if it's who they were forced to become. i wonder what could've been if kenta had left with pete – or if they'd never been taken by tony at all and had grown up like other kids.

this edit concludes my musings for all these characters. it's been a joy to make these and ponder on these boys, and honestly, i feel like i've found a completely new love and appreciation for all of them. thank you for all who have liked these edits and happy anniversary to the vroom vroom omegaverse bl, you've been stellar ♥ never thought i'd come back to you in a year but here we are, have my whole heart!

(idk if i'll make an edit for the last week, so also adding that i enjoyed the event a ton! it's been fun going to the tag and seeing everybody talk about the series again. looking forward to s2 and the anniversary stage live in less than two weeks ^^)

[jumpywhumpywriter]

Vampire Captures Vampire Hunter to Use as Bloodbag part 31

Warnings: aftermath of escape attempt, vampire carewhumper, recovery whump, intimidation, stubborn defiance from whumpee

He'd used the last of his strength in his show of defiance. But he didn't regret it, if only out of petty spite toward the bloodsucker.

"Let go," Mallory hissed, and made another attempt at pulling away -- uselessly, he knew, but it was instinctive.

"Mind your tone," Alex growled warningly, and Mallory bristled at the way he was being spoken to, like a disobedient child. But he knew better by now than to snap at his captor, lest he have a replay of his doomed escape attempt. It wasn't worth it this time. He needed to pick his fights wisely.

"The floor's not going to clean itself," Mallory spat bitterly, staring anywhere but Alex's face. He braced himself for the strike of a fist on his jaw, or fangs in his wrist like before, ripping muscle and tendons indiscriminately and--

Mallory couldn't help the full-body shudder that ran through him at the haunting memory. He could still feel the phantom pain of his near-death experience.

He risked a glance at his captor, who had gone eerily silent. Alex had an unreadable expression on his face that puzzled him, something almost akin to worry darting briefly through his features.

"Why aren't you able to continue?" Alex asked quietly. "Why are you still in pain?"

Mallory wanted to laugh in his face, but realized a second later that the bloodsucker was actually serious. It was a genuine question.

"Humans need a long time to recover," Mallory grumbled sheepishly. "We need lots of rest to heal right, and even then we can't go from absolute illness to perfect working condition. It takes time to get back to our daily tasks. We humans are 'fragile', as you vampires so often call us."

Alex gave him that weird unreadable look again that he couldn't decipher.

"All right, I'll take care of this mess later," Alex stated. "I'll let you rest longer. I did speak to Anisa, and... you were right about what she meant by humans 'staying busy'. She meant hobbies. So... Sorry for doubting you, I guess."

(Random fun fact: the name Mallory actually means "unlucky" or "ill-omened" -- I intentionally chose it because of this. Perfect for an unlucky vampire hunter!)

⏪️ Back Next ⏩️

Masterlist

@scoundrelwithboba @lumpofsand @isikedmyself878 @iamheretohurt @fleur-a-whump

@ay5ksal @otterfrost @sausages-things @togzy @floral-comet-whump

@whump-till-ya-jump @cravesunconditionallove @whumpwritinglover222 @nevermore-ramblings

[thezombieprostitute]

I recently saw a pair of ladies' underwear available online (I swear this is the most questionable way I've ever begun a message to someone, I swear I was just shopping) that had the text 'Achievement Unlocked' printed on the front, and that made me think of Jake & Tech Tuesdays. 😅 Just thought I'd share in case you were amused by it.

This is definitely going in the Jake & Sunshine Flashback Files.

Summary: Jake knows he's the luckiest man in the world and it's all because of you.

Warnings: Mild smut. Please let me know if I missed any!

Word Count: ~2.1k

A/N: Reader is female. No physical descriptors used.

Tech Tuesdays Masterlist

Jake was nervous. More nervous than he'd ever been in his life. And he'd been shot at before! It was your first date and he really wanted things to go well. You were so beautiful, kind, funny, smart and he was just a dork who got by everyone that he talked too much. Well, everyone but you told him that. It was another reason he felt he really needed to make this date perfect. No one else treated him so well and he knew he had to treat you like the angel of mercy and light you were to him.

What he didn't know was that you were just as nervous. The cute IT guy who never dissuaded you from talking about your interests, even shared your interests, was taking you on a date! You knew you weren't likely to find someone else as sweet. Well, sweet for now. A part of you was kept in check, reminding you that upfront kindness and interest rarely lasted longer than a month or so. Still, Jake felt different than those other guys. You felt so safe around him, and that counts for a lot!

Jake hits the buzzer for your apartment right on time. He'd been standing there for at least 20 minutes but didn't want to hit the button too early or too late. When you confirm it's him you hit the button to let him up and do all the last second preparations you think you need to make. He knocks on the door and you open it to find him holding a bouquet of yarn skeins. Your hands fly to your mouth in surprise and you bounce on your toes with excitement. Jake breathes a sigh of relief at the evidence that it was the right move.

Your first date is a blur of laughter, friendly conversation, and even some snuggling. Being the gentleman that he is, Jake walks you to your building door and you both feel the sparks fly at your first kiss. You won't know it for a few more months but after you parted ways for the night, you both did an excited victory dance.

It's your second date and you're so much more giddy than nervous. You and Jake had been messaging each other so much at work you were scared HR was going to step in. And you continued to have your lunches together whenever you could. You marveled at the fact that Jake hadn't seemed to tire of you talking about your favorite shows and movies.

Jake was equally happy that he could talk to you about his favorite things. He could jabber on and on and you would never scoff at him, derisively call him a nerd, ask him who cares about these things. And you would counter with your own good points and perspectives. He swears your conversations are the highlight of his days.

In fact, your second date was just an extended version of your lunch dates, but neither of you seemed to mind. You were both so comfortable and enjoying the time together. There was significantly more snuggling and you didn't wait for Jake to walk you to your door before you started kissing him. Jake was internally struggling to keep himself in check. Desperately wanting to make you happy, overjoyed at the affection, and trying to pay attention to your signals so he wouldn't overstep.

You wanted to bring Jake up to your apartment but you also didn't want to move too fast. He was so sweet, smart and strong and you didn't want to ruin it. Gently pushing his chest, he gets the hint and lets up. You thank him for a wonderful night and kiss the tip of his nose before giggling and asking him for a third date. Any fear you had that he'd be disappointed was gone the second his smile grew and his eyes lit up.

The work week before your third date was grueling. You were both so eager for the weekend, for unfettered access to each other, it made the work days go by so much slower. The two of you spent your lunches practically cuddling as you ate, exchanging little kisses. You'd been told that, so long as your work wasn't affected, HR would not step in. Though you're pretty sure you've seen some coworkers roll their eyes at you.

You try not to take it to heart when one or two of them give you a "friendly warning" about him losing interest after he gets sex. Jake's already so delightfully different from other guys you dated. He actually listened to you about your likes and dislikes. He didn't get you flowers, he got you yarn! He didn't order for you at restaurants. He didn't do backhanded compliments. He felt so genuine.

In fact, you felt so confident about Jake that, during your lunch, you asked him if he'd be willing to change up the plans for that weekend's date.

"What did you have in mind?" he stammers, hoping the last minute change isn't a bad sign.

"I was thinking," you hesitate a little. "I was thinking you could come over to my place and...and I'll cook? And we can watch movies together?" Heat rushes to your face as you start second guessing yourself.

Jake takes your hand, "that sounds awesome! Is there anything you want me to bring? Do you want me to help cook? I'm not much of a cook, but I can definitely clean up! Oh, and would you like me to bring some of my DVDs? We can compare libraries if you'd like."

You giggle, feeling a lot better than you did a few seconds ago. "Well, you said you have the Collector's Edition Highlander?"

He beams, "I'll happily bring it!"

As soon as he gets to his desk, Jake immediately calls up his friend, Cougar, for advice. He explains the conversation and Cougar just chuckles and says, "relax. Take a deep breath and be yourself. She's clearly into it."

"Thanks for that," Jake sarcastically replies.

"You're welcome," Cougar replies before hanging up.

Jake arrives with the promised DVD and, in lieu of a bouquet, he hands you a floral Lego set that has you bouncing on your toes in delight. As you let Jake inside he takes a deep breath and his mouth is immediately watering at the delicious smells from the kitchen. His cheeks turn pink as you both hear the grumbling from his stomach.

"Please tell me you've eaten today," you say, a little giggle in your voice.

"I...I'm pretty sure I did," he replies, his hand running through his hair as his cheeks redden. "I know I ate breakfast, I can promise that much." In truth he'd spent so much of the day nervous about the date he'd done everything except eat.

"You need to take better care of yourself," you gently chide with a kiss to his cheek. "I hope you don't mind that it's only spaghetti and garlic bread."

"'Only'? That sounds divine! And not just because I'm hungry."

"I'm glad to hear it," you confess. "I just need to dish it up and then we can eat. You can go ahead and sit."

Jake goes to the table, "which chair is yours?" You give him a confused look so he continues, "I mean, I'm a guest. I don't want to take your favorite spot. If you prefer this chair or that, I'll take the other one."

You smile in understanding and direct him to the chair that's further from the kitchen.

You bring out the plates and can't help but giggle at how he looks like such an eager puppy. The two of you talk, conversation flowing easily. Though you've only known each other a few months, it really feels like you've been together forever. There's a feeling of safety in each other's presence that makes you want to be together for the rest of forever.

When the meal is over you suggest it's time to start the movie, but as it starts up, neither of you is really paying much attention. Instead your both very aware of each other's presence. Jake had trouble keeping his breathing steady as you snuggled up to him. You had to fight to keep your hands in your lap, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. Instead you opt to lay your head on his shoulder and he wraps his arm around your shoulders.

That's when you decide to try to be a bit bold.

You move one of your hands to Jake's leg and gauge his reaction. You think you hear his breath hitch but he doesn't protest. You start slowly, gently rubbing your hand along the leg of his jeans and his breathing definitely quickens.

"I can stop if you'd like me to," you rasp. You'd been so focused on Jake's breathing you hadn't realized how much your own had quickened.

Jake's brain is in panic mode. He wants you to never stop touching him, but he doesn't want you to feel like you have to. Then again, you're offering to keep going, you started this of your own volition. "Please don't stop," he finally croaks out.

"Would...would you like me to touch more than just your leg?" The groan Jake lets out makes you feel like his brain has just short circuited and needs a restart. "I mean, we don't have to. Especially if you're not comfortable with it." You remove your hand from his leg. "I never want you to be uncomfortable. I'm so sorry if I--".

You're cut off by Jake grabbing both sides of your face and bringing you in for a deep kiss. Your body moves mostly on instinct as you move to straddle him, and he moans into your mouth as you settle over his hard-on. You gently roll your hips and he whimpers, making the corners of your mouth turn up into a smile. You pull away from him and giggle as his lips follow yours.

"Not...not to be...too forward," you gasp, "but would...would you like to um, to...the bedroom?"

Jake looks into your eyes and sees how hopeful yet scared you are. He wants nothing more than to live up to that hope. He's so scared he's going to disappoint you. That it'll be a deal-breaker for you if he's not good enough in bed. In truth, disappointing you feels like it would break him. At the same time, if he doesn't take you up on your offer, you'll be disappointed as well. He ends up nodding his heading, not trusting himself to speak.

"Are you sure, Jakey? I need you to tell me 'yes'."

"Yes, oh dear lord, yes. I want you so badly that I'm scared I'll disappoint you. Please, yes, I've wanted this for so long--"

He's cut off by your finger moving over his lips in a shushing fashion as you giggle. "You don't have to prove anything," you promise. You get off of his lap and hold out your hand for him. He accepts, kissing the back of your hand, then up your arm, then along your collarbone, making you giggle again.

You lead him to your bedroom and sit on the bed before pulling him over you. He's very careful not to crush you but when you wrap your legs around his hips and pull him in close he loses a little control. You moan as you feel more of his weight on you and he lets his hands roam everywhere he can get them.

As clothes start to come off you marvel at how muscular Jake really is. You'd known he was strong but seeing it was something else. You trace your fingers along some of his tattoos as he works over your breasts. He's fondling, pinching, licking, nipping and you swear you're going to lose your mind from how good it feels. You start moaning his name and Jake swears he's in heaven.

"Jake," you coo, making him stop everything so he can listen to you. "Wanna feel you inside me, please?"

"You're too good to me, Sunshine," he rasps.

He starts pulling off your pants but stops when he sees your panties. They have the Xbox Achievement Unlocked icon. Jake looks at you and give him a sly smile and a wink.

"I...I may have planned for this," you confess, heat rushing to your face. "I just...wanted to be prepared."

Jake laughs and kisses you all over, feeling a renewed sense of calm. A sense that he was going to be okay. That you were his safe space.

-------

He saw those panties again a few years later on your wedding night.

Tech Tuesdays Masterlist

Tagging: @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory;

@late-to-the-party-81; @lokislady82; @ronearoundblindly

[sonicjustbecause]

Shadow generation. Impression (from the videos).

Only about the story.

Actually I didn't play the game, I just watched the cutscenes. Maybe I will buy the game someday.

First - the non spoiler thing:

Shadow's story has few aim: being fun and having a compelling character to control. Nothing complicated. So, although nothing special, it is pleasant, simple and relaxing. Also for once Shadow is not tied on certain Sonic rules that don't allow for more than few actions. Is a character that can open several scenarios. Speed and agility might be the mandatory characteristics but he can potentially do many things Sonic can't.

Shadow himself is better than what he used to be the last decade. Is not perfect (but I'm a fan of Maekawa's Shadow as I stated more than once in previous posts), but finally is relatable again. Seeing emphasis on the Doom Powers in the preview, I excepted him being a super edgelord, even worse than the one in IDW comics and without flaws, instead we see him being vulnerable, suffering the side effects of not taking care of his well being and a interesting side about his personality that can teach one thing or two to Sonic.

The spoiler (characters):

Maria, how much we waited to know her.

We hear about her since 2001, we saw pictures of her over and over but we never knew who she was. She was this gostly, mysterious figure in Sonic adventure 2 (I was wondering: "How comes this innocent looking good girl wish for total destruction? Something is not right!"). For long people assumed she was pretty much a strong person, but we never knew for sure.

She is a young teenager. The way she thinks shows that she's not exactly a child. But she's still extremely spontaneous because she has no real life friends around telling her she must act like an adult. So she still jump when excited and has lots of childish characteristics normally at her age and maturity she would have outgrow.

Her only two friends on ARK are one literal child, and an alien/hedgehog with no social skills. They would not pressure her into acting proper because they know nothing.

Idealized? Maybe. But we are seeing the story through Shadow's eyes. That's the point.

Also, finally she doesn't look anymore like a vintage italian doll. First time I saw her I wondered who was the one who though at that, uh, not so great design.

Gerard

Hints from Sonic Adventure 2 suggested that Gerard and Shadow are very similar. But Gerard has on his side the wisdom that comes from age. Also, unlike Shadow, his way longer life experience has been varied, with both good and bad moments, shaping a more mature and less emotional personality.

We never knew what was the relationship between Shadow and Gerard. For now we learned the bads, Gerard getting mad and turning Shadow into a weapon, condemning him to a miserable life.

But, both the Maria and Gerard we see in SxS gen are from before the raid, so we see the fatherly side of Gerard. Surely when he created Shadow, he didn't consider him a living being. But then he learned to love him. He's rightfully his son after all, even if an artificial being.

I'm glad Gerard and Maria aren't Black Doom illusions who serve him but they're the real ones, and they truly help Shadow though this adventure. Clearly they understand what is going on, and even that in the future they will not be on Shadow's side. So they decided to help him as much as they can to make him taking the right decision.

Shadow

Now, I think I have a lot to say about Shadow, he is both the protagonist and the main character.

He showed us sides of his personality that were either hidden and/or forgotten for a long time. Knowing his story he gave me the impression he was just forced to grow against his will.

Maekawa's Shadow used to be balanced, surely stubborn/laser focused, very quiet but also mischievous, good hearted and capable to take care of his well being. But after Sonic 06 his personality was changed into a cold, selfish mean edgelord without remeding qualities, that was on the good side just because of his whims. That was what made him into a joke among fans and a hero only among (few) kids aged 15 and below.

But now we seems we are starting from the basis. Peraphs Shadow will one day be similar to what he used to be. His personality will not change overnight, that would be jarring, it will be gradual. I hope he will act more rationally and balanced from now and in the future.

The side effect of his lack of self care.

They started from his superhuman laser focus and his stubborness, traits that were especially underlined after Sonic 06:

What if this slowly takes a tool on his mind? From dark beginnings, we see that Shadow is at his limits. His focus start to fade, he gets distracted easily by both his own tiredness and outside distractions. Dangerously on breaking point since he can get on the verge of panic attacks. And he is very harsh toward himself. Not just 'focus' but also 'what are you doing? Stop daydreaming'. Seems the hard hearted father toward his son. The only reason he doesn't get slapped for not being a good boy is because he can't slap himself.

Family.

Though he is nowadays known to be a loner... I wasn't and I am not so sure about this trait. Introverted for sure but I remember him always surrounded by friends (still in smaller groups than Sonic) in Maekawa's stories. Rouge and Omega in Heroes and 06, Knuckles, Amy and Blaze in Black Knight. In Adventure 2 he was alone, but he was a good team worker.

He feels more like lonely. In SxS Gen he was so happy to have found his family again and so hopeful to have a second chance that he seemed quite in good mood with everybody. Rouge, Gerard and Maria were very kind toward him, but they also did want him being real, to prepare him to the outcome. A real family (Maria and Gerard) and a real friend (Rouge).

Now, that's might be my interpretation, but Shadow seemed to wanting to show his progresses to his family, maybe to hear their approvations. And he searched their advices, listening carefully, being a good boy for people that are way kinder toward him than himself.

And now the thing Sonic needs to learn from Shadow (perhaps also Shadow from himself). Shadow is capable to be open and sincere toward his family more than how Sonic is toward those that consider his family (Tails). Maybe Shadow is afraid to open up toward Rouge because of this, SxS Gen, Sonic Adventures, Heroes, 06 and Sonic Battle showed that contrary to popular beliefs, Shadow is quite bad at hiding his emotions. He might not cry but is behaviour pattern changes noticeably. And he doesn't seems that annoyed when Rouge lend him her voice when he is unable to speak.

Normal and upset.

Mmmh is OK, I was just a bit tired, you know, running around...

Shadow is surprising again.

Well when you see a face like this:

What do you think the outcome would be?

The first surprise was discovering he was way more chill than what his face suggest. It is always a welcome feeling when a character surprises you in one or more ways. I'm always on the edge when I see Shadow approaching somebody or being approached in the game. And then, he just acts normally.

Though this is logical and excepted, no, this is not Shadow.

Compassion was the thing that saved him originally. And then this trait was removed. Now he is compassionate again.

David Humphrey on what he was told about Shadow when he worked to SA2. You can see the interview with him and Scott Dreier on YT.

It should be underlined that Shadow doesn't know yet who the girl is.

Better to avoid to compare with IDW or Sonic Team Racing, when he doesn't save Rouge and Tails and when he even steal popcorn from a chao.

Doom Powers

They are helpful in game, but what I focus on is how Shadow is always in pain, maybe even afraid everytime he gets a new power. The 'NO!' plead was in Italian too. Another thing is the colour distortion when he gets seemily possessed by Black Doom.

In another videogame I used to play (Saints Row 3 and 4) the same colour distortion was there when the character was high.

So I associate that efect with altered consciousness.

Shadow's body language and expressions...

I did noticed he was very expressive in the trailer. But so he was the whole game. He communicates/emotes through both his face and his body. With the player and with the NPCs around. If his personality keeps improving and he will be back to the Shadow we all loved, and maybe they will keep that friendly attitude toward the player, baybe making a Shadow games not every year, but occasinally when they have a good story, he will be super fun to play.

[jonsnowunemploymentera]

I see your point, esp in regards to how GRRM sometimes unsuccessfully blends various historical elements when world building. With the aspect of ruling, he wants to tackle these issues not in the appendices of ADoS or extra-textual works. He wants to give a careful exploration as the story unfolds in the main story that the entire fanbase will read. Who ever reads the appendices? I mean how many people have even read The World of Ice and Fire in this fandom?

GRRM explores these things with Jon, based on my response to the screenshot in the first place, from ACoK up to ADWD; and presumably in TWoW and ADoS. He wants to actually show how Jon, his answer to Aragorn, evolves as a ruler before the story is done. How he succeeds, fails, succeeds again. So if Jon ends up in a position as a ruler, if he even survives the story in the first place, he as a writer will be satisfied with how he got there. It’s a personal thing for him—not a slight against Tolkien. I’m not too fussed about Rhaenyra and the events in F&B because he doesn’t really mention them when talking about “the tax policy”, and F&B has received enough lashings over the years for being his worst installment in the saga of Ice and Fire. It’s certainly not as well written as the main series for a start.

You bring up an important distinction with:

The fact that there's no longer a dark lord trying to conquer their lands suggests that this will be the case, since the kingdom's weakness was exacerbated by the threat of Mordor.

ASOIAF is more involved, since the political theatre has been evolving outside the magical threat so far. Defeating the Others won’t really settle the political matters as they’ve transformed over the series. GRRM doesn’t seem to think that he can give us a satisfactory resolution to what has occupied the biggest narrative space this far in the last few pages of ADoS. Now this series is incomplete, so we don’t really know what the climax will be. It certainly gets complicated when we factor in Bran as the intended final ruler, because he has nowhere near the level of experience that Jon and Dany have.

And re

It's not a sore point for me, it's the way the fandom acts as if Jon was making the right choices (the show certainly did so) when all it takes is a closer examination to realize how poorly he's governing.

Really? Because it’s usually Jon fans (specifically) trying to make a defense of his ADWD arc. The fandom at large seems to think he would be a terrible king and that he did a bad job as Lord Commander; this is no doubt exacerbated by the Meereenese Blot essays which have permeated fandom discussion over the last decade or so.

George's problem is that he ignores all of this and winds up making Tolkien out to be a less serious writer than he actually was.

Tbh, GRRM won’t stop gushing about the impact Tolkien has had on him as both as reader and writer of fantasy. But the problem is that a lot of things are projected over his relationship with his predecessor’s works. It’s like when you see a ton of articles saying “meet George R. R. Martin, the anti-Tolkien”….when GRRM himself has said that he wants to make ASOIAF the same level of low fantasy that LOTR was, and that he wants to explore the same themes LOTR did but in his own way. It is not so much that GRRM sets out to make Tolkien look bad on purpose, it’s that people are reading into his minor quibble with the quote. It’s the same thing with his opinion on Gandalf’s resurrection. He gets a lot of flack for it, and I’m not going to add to the dog piling. At the end of the day, he really should be allowed to have an opinion of a work he clearly cherishes.

This is actually so funny because….isn’t this literally the point of Jon’s political arc as a ruler in ADWD? 😭 What policies can he enact to ensure that the Watch and the wildlings are fed through the winter? The question even comes up during Alys Karstark’s wedding, because Jon knows that the Watch is down to its last sticks of butter. This is the same arc GRRM uses, along with Dany’s in Meereen, as a reference of how he would like to explore this very question. Btw Jon Snow is arguably Aragorn’s closest parallel in ASOIAF so 😭

[federaliszt]

extremely convoluted sentence structure with an extraordinary and borderline-unnecessary number of predicate clauses, parentheses, m--dashes, and semicolons?

in my fic?

it's more likely than you'd think!

[mishy-mashy]

Kudo makes funny facial expressions