#thick ass cougar

[heartshapedwife]

Humpday

[stlbaddies]

One of the best bubbles here

[thebootyspy]

EBONY COUGAR WAS ENJOYING THE ATTENTION HER ASS WAS SO JIGGLY MSG ME FOR FULL VIDEO

[sadesluvr]

31/10 — RAFE CAMERON + BARRY.

ft: threesomes

w/c: 600+ 18+ MINORS DNI

SADESLUVR'S KINKTOBER '24

“You ain’t ever had no shit like that, country club. She ain’t a day over 25, but that is what I’d call a cougar...” 

“Whatever, man. You can’t let women control you like that. They just need to be tamed...” 

“Ain’t no taming her. That pussy is enough to make a man crash out.” 

Barry hadn’t been exaggerating. Rafe had a firm hand at the back of your head; steadying you as he held you down on his cock, lips wet and raw as you spat bubbles from slobbering on his cock – all the while the dark-haired man fucked you from behind.  

The whole room could’ve been a porno set; the three of you half naked on the porch of Barry’s trailer; basking in the Carolina sunset. Obscene sounds came from your slurps and chokes, and you winced as Rafe made sure you took every inch of his thick cock, whilst the man behind you spanked your ass, the skin-to-skin contact of your thighs and his pelvis clapping as they collided.  

“Shit...” Rafe drawled, eyelids heavy. “You weren’t fuckin’ lying...” He was pussydrunk, intoxicated off you and the cocaine he’d bumped before your arrival.  

“Told you,” Barry chuckled, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth as his large hands dug into the flesh of your ass. “Dang, mama, you got ol’ country club squirmin’!” 

Smugly, you withdrew the blonde boys’ cock from your mouth with a ‘pop’, whipping your head around to talk back to the man.  

“You always running your mouth about me,” you scoffed. “This is why we broke up. You can’t keep nothin’ a secret.” 

“Ain’t nothin’ wrong with being proud.” Barry shrugged, slowing his pace. “Gotta let the streets know who you belong to.” He finished with a smirk, eyeing Rafe before he re-entered your wet hole with a deep groan, combing his dark locks back with his hand.

Rolling your eyes, your disobedience didn’t go unpunished as you noticed his grip and strokes were a little rougher; more possessive. Odd, considering Barry was almost never needy, but you couldn’t deny the selfish swell in your heart at being trapped between two men, both whom wanted you in their own ways. 

You gave Rafe’s cock a few languid strokes; admiring its length. Admittedly, he was only a little over average, but his dick was pretty – clean cut, pink and fleshy, with a rich vein on the underside. It was beyond obvious that he came from money.

Barrys’ was more rugged; with a trimmed patch of dark hair at his base, marking the end of his happy trail, and was certainly thicker. You were feeling every inch of him as he stretched you out, pounding you so deep – and so raw – as he continuously hit your core.  

You looked up at Rafe with doe eyes through your lashes, teasing him by flicking your tongue on his tip. 

“What would Top and Kelce say, huh?” you grinned, gaze unwavering as you slapped his cock on your cheeks before taking him back into your mouth. “They know you’ve been fucking a dirty Pogue?” 

“Fuck...They don’t even know what to do with a girl like you,” he sneered before throwing his head back in pleasure. “This throat belongs to me...” 

You grinned, mouth full as you spoke. 

“Mhm, yes daddy...” 

He smirked, casting a vacant stare over at the brunette before looking down at you. He was drawn to you the same way he’d been drawn to Barry; less through the promise of drugs, but more through the skin-tight, ghetto-fabulous way that you dressed, and your wild, uncaring attitude. He'd heard the rumours – you were the tiger he wanted, no, needed to tame. 

Cupping his hand under your chin, he pinched it, pulling you from his cock as he angled your face up to look at you so you were staring right into his deep blue eyes. 

Whispering into your ear, your pussy clenched and legs trembled as he uttered the statement. 

“I fuck with your boy and all...But let it be known I don’t plan on sharing.” 

[wispstalk]

Some writing advice for hunting, bc I see a lot of hunting scenes in fantasy that make me itch. More under the cut. Don't read if you're sensitive to blood-and-guts discussion or animal death.

Finding game:

- I don't hunt much these days bc I don't feel like getting my ass out of bed at shitfuck o'clock every weekend during the season. Which you have to do, because much of the time you come home empty-handed. Successful hunts come about when you're out there often.

- You don't really have to be a good tracker to hunt, but you do have to know the basics of your prey and you have to be able to interpret the landscape even if it's unfamiliar. It's less likely a tracker is looking for "bent blades of grass" or whatever and more likely they are noticing game trails, sheltered areas where nests and burrows are, a spot of thick vegetation which would indicate a water source.

- Scat and footprints are useful too ofc but to varying degrees. If I'm hunting deer it's just confirmation that they're in the area; more often I use knowledge of their habits to actually find them. If I were hunting something elusive and solitary like a cougar I would pay more attention to the tracks but that's also a reason people hunt with dogs!

Actually hunting:

- Bows are not the only hunting weapons, though would be most common in ur typical medieval fantasy type setting. Spears and lances, slings with stones, and clubs would also be used. And knives and swords but in this hunter's opinion, FUUUUCK that.

- Lung shot is a quick death. Heart shot and head shot too but that is much harder. Other shots might mean tracking a wounded animal as it runs away. This is where things like broken twigs/bent grass are especially telling, and ofc blood. Small game bleed out faster and won't get as far but you might spend quite a while running after an elk shot in the flank.

- This highly depends on the prey but hunting often involves more sitting around than people realize. I bring a small pad for my booty ass bc sometimes you'll spend hours in a strategic spot waiting for the game to pass by. Also hides (the shelter, not the skins) are a thing and most hunters would consider shelter-building an essential skill.

- Hunting seasons are not entirely a modern convention -- there are better times of year to find different animals. But there would be less concern, historically, about killing animals during the breeding season than we have today.

- Even when I was hunting regularly and more confident, I got a huge adrenaline spike EVERY time I had an animal in my sights.

Big game:

- A deer has a lot of meat on it and though it's not a bad thing to leave a carcass for scavengers, your party of two or three adventurers probably will not go to the trouble of hunting deer unless they have some nearby place to cache, preserve, or trade what they can't eat before it spoils. Are they leaving it behind or do they have some way to take full advantage of such a large kill?

- If your character gets a large game animal they're probably going to field dress it: deal with all the blood and guts on site, then quarter it so it can be packed back to the campsite or whatever. My dad is a big burly mutant man and he cannot carry a deer by himself. You can carry game on poles or horseback too but field dressing is pretty typical in a situation where u can't just fling it in the back of the truck and hang it at home.

- I grew up eating bear and when it comes up I'm often surprised how many people don't know that people hunt bear for meat. It's tasty imo, especially makes a good sausage

- I can hunt deer alone, though company is nice. I wouldn't attempt hunting something more dangerous by myself. Large animals especially are better taken down as a group effort. In the TES context for example it would be kind of insane to hunt horker alone. Not that some folks wouldn't try.

Small game:

- A character who subsists mostly on hunting is going to be eating a lot of small game. They are probably going to use traps and snares in addition to actually going out on hunts.

- Look up "rabbit starvation." Small game is often (but not always) lean and going without fat for a long time can cause serious health issues.

- I joke that you don't hunt turkey, you just go get one. Game birds are kind of stupid. I plan a deer hunt, but I have gone out and shot grouse on a whim.

Processing:

- Draining blood, skinning, plucking, butchering, dealing with all the bones and guts, storage and preservation: pretty time consuming and involved. It's a good excuse for social activity.

- The moneyed classes likely would not process their kills themselves, unless they're doing some kinda randyll tarly masculinity flex for the symbolism. Kitchen staff or a local butcher would handle it.

- A good skinning knife is kinda wide and short. Some game knives have a rounded tip which keeps it from puncturing the skin in case of accidental slippage.

- Skinning is done with a light hand bc puncturing the digestive system means you've poisoned the meat. I will say it is less difficult than I expected it to be the first time I tried it.

- We don't eat a lot of offal in the US but a deer liver, for example, would be considered prime meat by many and eaten first. Bear, walrus, and seal liver contain toxic amounts of vitamin A and would be thrown away.

- I've been told every animal has enough brains to tan its own hide, but I think there are some exceptions. It's definitely true of deer and elk. With small animals like rabbits it's hardly worth the effort of getting the brains out and other things can be used but brain tanned leather is soooo soft and nice.

- Hides and pelts are useful and valuable and would be kept or traded if circumstances allowed. You can tightly roll a hide to keep it from drying out before tanning, or you can freeze it, basically indefinitely. You can also air dry it once scraped clean and soften it later, which is what fur hunters would most likely do for efficiency's sake. Tanning is also so so so fucking gross imo. Really slimy process, and tanneries REEK.

That's all I can think of for now and this is already hella long but the takeaway is that it is generally a pretty involved activity and more impactful on lifestyle than I usually see depicted. So there ya have it

[egrets-not-regrets]

Perfume: "Infatuation" for Big Cats (2)

Lenora assists a colleague in big cat research with some interesting results. When the new Emperor’s Children “Infatuation” brand of perfume was said to be even better at attracting big cats than the human “Obsession” perfume, Lenora was expecting to attract actual big cats like cougars, not her own Astartes. 

Author's Note: Part One. This is part two.

Warning: SMUT. OVERSTIMULATION. CUNNILINGUS. Also, Erriox feasting on Lenora like a big cat on his prey. Yeah, he’s a service top. 

Dialogue in the Gothic language is italicized and bolded.

Lenora’s nickname for Erriox is “Mountain Lion”.  

@kit-williams inspired this pheromone perfume smutfic. It’s been a wip for a long time.

Tagged: @shadowfirecat , @kit-williams , @bleedingichorhearts , @barn-anon , @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan

@sleepyfan-blog , @bispecsual , @c-u-c-koo-4-40k , @ms--lobotomy , @whorety-k

@gra93fruit-blog , @i-am-a-dragon34 , @felinisnoctis, @thevoidscreams

In the back of his mind, Erriox knew he should get rid of the perfume to lessen some of that pervasive scent that was affecting them both. He’ll need to let his brothers know about this perfume and it’s… heavily distracting effects. He filed the reminder away in his mind, turning towards more immediate issues… such as the sight of Lenora unknowingly presenting herself to him, ass up, face down, as she was stretching. Erriox wasn’t done with her yet, not by far; not until Lenora had fallen to him completely and utterly, like the ruins of the enemy fortress after a siege. 

“Why is it not going away?” Lenora groaned, still bothered by the pressing need to fill the aching emptiness between her legs. 

She felt the hard metal ports on Erriox’s chest as he pushed her down onto her front on the mattress. 

“Erriox?” A whining gasp. She grabbed his arm when he reached under and pressed against her lower lips, stroking and teasing, trying to coax more slick from her already messy cunt. Lenora shuddered, tightly closing her legs together, trapping hIs hand.

“Mmmnnerriox… sto-a-ah…” Lenora bit her lip, one hand trying to grab his hand and stop him. Despite that, his fingers continued their teasing, dipping in and out of her core. His other hand pinched and pulled her sensitive nipples. Lenora shook her head, whining, desperately trying not to fall into the temptation of pleasure to piece together a thought she had. 

“Relax Lenora. Let yourself feel it.” He purred as he started to rut against her, making sure she felt his thick length against her back. 

“Erriox… the perfume… it’s driving me crazy.” She whined as she could feel his love bites and kisses along the back of her neck. The effects of the perfume were still strong and Lenora could still smell it. 

But the perfume wasn’t in this room… 

Her train of thought was sharply cut off when Erriox flipped her over and pinned her back to the bed. Purring, he bit her hardened nipple, soothing and swirling around it with his tongue, then biting harder and pulling on it. Lenora growled at him to stop but it came across as a wet needy mewl instead. 

He chuckled then switched to suckle from her other nipple. Lenora whimpered as her cunt pulsed with need. she clenched her thighs together, feeling the build up of slick between her legs. 

“Open your legs Lenora, I could smell your arousal. You’re not fooling anyone here.” He growled deeply as he gave her nipple one last hard suck before nipping and kissing his way down to her pussy. He growled as he easily pushed apart her thighs and delved his tongue inside her slit again. Himself rutting against the edge of her bed. 

“Erriox…” she tugged his hair insistently to get him to stop, “Please stop. Just wait a moment! I need…!” pleading. 

“What do you need, Lenora?” He glanced at her briefly, not stopping his feast, smirking when Lenora’s hips bucked against his face. 

“Aaugh… My clothes. They’re covered…mmm… in perfume. In the laundry basket… ah… I need to throw them into the washer?” her breath shortened with each suck, each lick, “Hah… At least get rid of the scent from here…mnngh…” tears squeezed out from the corners of her eyes, she couldn’t stop rutting against his face. Her hands clawed into his hair, “Please… pleasepleaseplease… mnn… sto-haaah… Nnnnghh!!!.” Lenora cried out as she came, back arching, thighs squeezing tightly around her Astartes’ head, him not stopping his relentless devouring, as if trying to suck her cunt dry. Erriox grunted as he spilled his seed onto her bedsheet. After catching her breath, she weakly tried to push herself away to get off the bed, “I need…”

“Relax, Lenora. I’ll take care of it.” Erriox gave her a quick kiss, pushed her down onto the bed again, then stood up. He grabbed her clothes basket and went to dump its contents in the washing machine. Remembering the perfume bottle and her clothes still on the table, he went over and double bagged the perfume bottle and put it in a sealed container then gathered their clothing. He sniffed the bundle of clothes deeply, his cock hardening again as his brain registered the heavy scents of both their sweat and arousal heightened by the pheromones of the perfume. Erriox purred. He was about to bring them to wash when he decided to pull out Lenora’s torn shirt and her cum-covered panties and tossed them into his room before throwing the rest of the clothes in the washing machine. She won’t miss them anyways...

The Iron Warrior smirked when he returned to his beloved’s room. His tongue pressed against the roof of his mouth, tasting the heavy scent of his beloved’s arousal in the air. He could hear her quiet whimpers as she moved up and down, grinding on the bunched blankets with a hand between her legs. He could see the goosebumps rising over her skin. 

“Lenora…” Erriox's deep voice drawled as he watched her from the doorway. 

Lenora stopped, face flushed, noticing his hungry stare. Erriox’s pupils were blown out as if the perfume hadn’t dissipated from his system at all. His erect cock hanging stiff with anticipation. 

“Erriox… I…” She froze as he stalked closer, licking her lips nervously. 

Sitting down on her bed with his back against the pillows, Erriox pulled her into his lap, “You haven’t had enough?” he chuckled as he pulled Lenora into his lap, her back against his chest. 

She gasped as his hands slid over body to tease her open and massage her breast, “Erriox…” she let out a breathy sigh and reached back to stroke his hardened dick, “Same goes for you.” grinning when she heard a soft growl.

“Tease.” Erriox nipped her ear and bucked against her, making Lenora lose focus and let go as his finger suddenly dug deeper into her core. 

Swallowing the building drool, Lenora’s fluttered closed, panting softly as she focused on the building pleasure between her thighs as she rocked against her Astartes’ fingers. She keened when a second finger sunk in to join the first inside her. 

“You’re so desperate, holding my hand for you to rut on like a whore in heat. Do my fingers feel that good, Lenora?” Erriox chuckled into her ear. 

Her lower half clenched at his words, her body flushed with embarrassment, “Shut up!” She hissed. 

“You… nnmmgh!!” Whatever further reply she had was cut short when Erriox curled his fingers in her, pressing into that spongy spot that short-circuited her brain. Her pussy gushed as she came on his hand. He purred as he thrust his fingers several repeatedly, feeling her wet channel tighten around them and more moisture leak down his hand. 

“Please. Erriox.” Lenora begged, delirious as the heat in her belly started building again, “Please. I need you inside me.”

He decided to be a little cruel and continued to finger her cunt, keeping his heavy hand pressed hard onto her swollen clit, making her whine each time her clit rubbed against his calloused palm as she rocked against him, “I am inside you.” He purred as he nipped her ear. 

Lenora leaned back against him, her hands gripping his… her hips still rutting against his right hand… body bowed to press more of her soft breast tissue into his left, determined to chase that delicious friction, “Stop teasing me…” she mewled. 

His voice was rough and sultry, “Tell me what you want. In Gothic.” Even though it was obvious from the way her juices covered his hand and leaked down the inside of her thighs. 

“I want…” her voice hitched, feeling his cock head tease open her slit, gathering her fluids. Up and down. In and out.

“I want…” her mind blanking as his hand squeezed her breast. Lenora realized she didn’t know the word for “fuck” in Gothic. She let out a breathy moan, feeling him slide his thick length against her bottom lips repeatedly, spreading more of their mixed fluids along it. 

“I want you to fuck me. Repeat it.” Erriox growled, the vibration sending shivers down her spine. Losing his patience, he pushed Lenora onto her hands and knees and shoved his cock into her, his cockhead forcing its way past her hole and into her slick channel again. 

Erriox groaned, “Lenora…fuck. Lenora…you’re still so tight.” almost losing focus. She was so hot and wet, so ready and breedable, and her cunt constricted his cock in just the right way. He didn’t know if his hand could ever replicate the same feeling. 

Lenora moaned as he started moving, “Mmmm… I want… oh… you… ah… to fuck… ahngh… fuck me... hah… Please.” Each gasp punctuated by a push of his hips as he thrust his dick deeper and deeper into her cunt. 

Her sinfully lustful moans and pleas almost made him lose control. It was incredibly tempting to dick her down with wild abandon, but he wanted to savour her, to claim her fully in body and mind. Erriox set a steady pace, fucking her with powerful strokes. He could hear Lenora whine and mewl like a cat in heat beneath him, her hips moving back to meet his thrusts, desperate to quell the burning desire rising in her. 

“Erriox… More... Hah… Need you. Please… Erriox!” The squelching sounds her wet sex made with each thrust only urged him to fuck her harder. 

He could feel her cunt tighten even more around his cock. She teetered on the edge of cumming, he could feel it. Chuckling quietly, he slowed down. 

Lenora tried to push her hips back into him, but turned her head to him, looking confused and hurt when he trapped her moving hips in his arm. 

“Why….?” She whined. Her sex pulsed around the length of his dick as he sawed in and out of her at a torturously slow pace. 

“Again. I want to hear you say it again. Tell me what you want me to do.” Erriox rumbled next to  her ear. 

She looked at him with a dazed and heated expression, pleading nonsensically, trying to push and wiggle in his grip; looking rather pathetic with how much she craved her orgasm, “Nnghnoo… I… I want you… hah… I…want…please… aaah… Eek!” 

Lenora squealed as Erriox smacked her ass, the impact heavy enough to leave a red mark. 

“Focus!” He sneered, “Or is your mind too fucked dumb to understand what I am saying?” 

She let out a strangled moan when he slapped her ass again. 

“Or is getting slapped around like a whore is what you want…” he commented dryly. He had felt the way Lenora’s cunt strangled his cock when he spanked her, felt the way her juices leaked from her slit shortly after. Erriox caressed her ass, slipping his hand between her legs and pulled it out, coated in her arousal. His eyes pinned onto her form, watching Lenora moaning at her own taste as she sucked on his fingers that he stuffed her mouth.

She had no idea what her Iron Warrior just said. All she knew was that she needed him to dick her down again. Punish her if he had to. “Please fuck me.” She begged when he removed his fingers. 

“In Gothic, Lenora. I want you to fuck me.” He growled. 

“Erriox… please… please… I want you to fuck MEEE!!!” 

‘“Good girl.” was all Lenora heard before the end of her sentence dissolved into a high pitched quail at the same time as Erriox slammed his hips against her ass, spearing his cock deep inside and started to fuck her again, rough and deep. Lenora came  hard, back arching, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. 

The Iron Warrior grunted at the feeling of her warmth fluttering around his cock, “You feel so fucking good around me, Lenora, like you were made for me.”

“Erriox… nngh! Erri… Erriox… hah… please more… aahn…” Lenora moaned his name repeatedly in a blissed, fucked out state, beyond listening or trying to understand what her Astartes just said. Her face planted into the bed as her arms lost all strength to brace her body against his thrusting. She could feel his girthy cock carving its shape into her.

Lenora babbled, words in English and Gothic tumbling out of her mouth, “Erriox… oh god…mmm… so good… yes… all mine… Erriox!”

“All for me. All mine. I will ruin you for any other man.” He growled possessively as his thrusting got  faster, more frantic, more rough. Lenora keened, her insides clenching at her Astartes’ dark possessive growl. 

“Tell me who you belong to!” He snarled

“Erriox! You! I’m yours! All yours…” she moaned loudly. 

He suddenly flipped them both over so that Lenora was sitting in his lap. Startled, Lenora planted her feet onto the mattress, pushing her hips up to keep her balance. Erriox snarled and pushed her down onto the base of his cock. Lenora squealed, her cunt fluttering around his dick as it tried to accommodate the sudden deep intrusion. Her trembling legs were spread wide over his legs. Erriox's large hands gripped the soft flesh of her cum-smeared thighs, grunting as he bucked into her from underneath. His breath stuttered, listening to her whimper as he could feel her cunt strangling his cock. His balls twitched, he was close to cumming as well. 

Erriox moved one hand over her pelvis and pressed against where his cock was carving into her vagina, “You feel that? You cunt, moulding and shaping around me?” he growled breathily into her ear, “You’re only ever mine, so be good for me and cum on my cock.” 

Acutely feeling the pressure of his thick cock pressed into her walls, Lenora let out a loud broken moan, drool leaking out of the corner of her mouth as another powerful buck of her Astartes’ hips and the rush of liquid heat into her womb ripped one final orgasm from her. She gripped tightly onto Erriox’s hand that was placed over her lower abdomen, her juices squirting all over his lap, further spoiling the bed sheets underneath, as her body shook from the rush of high running through her system. Lenora collapsed back against his chest, boneless and panting from exhaustion, her cunt still twitching around his dick, their mixed fluids slowly leaking out between them. She whined as Erriox slowly pulled out her, feeling the rest of their cum spilling out of her pussy. 

Erriox gently gathered her into his arms so that she was facing him, and licked her tears away, pressing his forehead against hers, “Are you alright?” he asked, a concerned look in his eyes. 

Lenora had an exhausted, but fond smile as she shakily reached up to caress his face, her smile growing bigger as he leaned into her touch. Her fingers tenderly traced over the scars decorating his face, reassuring him, “Tired, but I’m good. The effects of the perfume are gone… I think. I don’t feel the heat anymore. So thank you.” She reached up to kiss his lips. 

Erriox purred as he pushed into her kiss. “You are beautiful, you know that?” he murmured, brushing away her sweat-drenched hair plastered to her face. 

Lenora blinked at his sudden comment and blushed, then giggled shyly, “Thank you for the compliment. You are rather handsome yourself.” 

He chuckled as she kissed him again. 

They stayed cuddled together for a while when Lenora had something to ask him. 

“Mountain Lion…”

“Yes, Love?” 

She smiled at the term of endearment. Lenora relaxed into Erriox’s embrace, coveting the heat emanating from his body. 

“We should get rid of that perfume bottle.”

“Mmm… Maybe.”

She lightly smacked his chest, “Erriox!” 

[thegnomelord]

HOLY SHIT!? That “kitty😉” was sooo puffy n thick too!

I think it’s official, I’m pretty sure I might be bisexual (w/ preferences). The way I frothed at the mouth at the sight! Ha, if I wasn’t sure what I liked before, I think my reaction to that post answered for me. I this erased any all doubts for me🩷💜💙

That ain't no kitty, that's a whole ass fucking cougar :Dd

And honestly same, I consider myself ace/demisexual irl but I'd be diving into that pussy like I'm dying of thirst

[littlesliceofimmortality]

PUTS ON a beaglepuss disguise ermmm can u plssss tell us your norm headcanons ?? Spare norm headcanons for us pwee 🙏🙏🥺

this was gonna be longer but uhmmid probably be repeating myself. long enough as is so irs under the cut :3

sgt norman g allen

• only person allowed to call him norman is (was) his WIFE! e'eryone ELSE gets shot at

• but now its just everyone 

• gingi jokingly calls her Norma and he'll never admit he doesnt actually mind it

• supposedly his middle name is his fathers, but if asked about it, its just G. rolls off the tongue better

• unlabelled transfem, he/she and prefers gendered terms to neutral ones

• bear & also a cougar. just a Queer man living life always homoerotically

• fully believed she was cishet pre-wormhole and was so deep in denial about it but spending that much time alone (x2) gives you some time to reflect

• still not that knowledgeable about new lgbt terminology but is slowly comin to understand it

• oliver helped the most and Gets norms gender. calls her his boymom girldad 

• mexican immigrant and is still pretty fluent in spanish! better than his korean at least

• independent skills were drilled into him from a young age but he's still better at taking care of others rather than himself

• can cook a full thanksgiving meal with the most mouthwatering droolworthy turkey complete with sides and the whole shebang but when its just him eating? soggy oatmeal

• doing ALOT better post-chap 3! might even make himself a whole OMELETTE to go with his oatmeal

• after becoming sherrif he tried to go back to his shack. everyone from mingus to gingi said "No you are NOT."

• much hassle commenced but eventually a rented house on the outskirts of uptown dialtown, paid by the mayor herself

• much more hassle ensued once norm started taking potshots at people too close to her ""yard""

• BUT that has all been settled. its not lived in much but eventually she'll learn to call it home

• however what norm Is accustomed to is his PICKUP TRUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOOOO BABEY

• norm loves his jeep comanche eliminator like its his kid. decked out in awful AMERICAN USA USA bumper stickers

• "if ya cant operate a stick-shift, go back to drivers ed" across the back window with a skeleton on fire or a bald eagle holding a flag (or both)

• & yes it has the ballsack he finds it hilarious nobody can convince him otherwise

• calls her jessup - same name as his old horse

• obnoxious about how he drives it everywhere during dialtowns reconstruction, hauling ass and building supplies 

• the physical work HAS made him more built than ever tho

• always been a Big Guy, over 6ft and 300+ pounds. some muscle from his time as a sergeant and astronaut but mostly fat

• think heavylifter body with a softer stomach. Also more hair

• Lots of thick, black hair. on her head and body and face. blacker and deeper than space itself

• gray speckles that seem like stars or constallations you could trace in her scruff

• had short, choppy hair before the wormhole but let it grow out into a full mane after becoming an outcast anyways

[impossible-gains]

“Oh, we doing titles too, darling? Again, cute, but I'm sure someone ought to care.”

BLRRHPT-!

A thrust forwards, hands threading the ends of hips to pull on the dough-like saddle bags,

BRRRRRPLLLLLLLLPLPLPLPHHHHRRRRTTT

Ass off the wood, a thick gust rank and putrid as the woman that sat there, another saggy THWUMP and another threatening groan. HWARLP-- passed her lips, hands treading to her middle as her form eased back down.

"BOURRRRRRPPPPPPPP!!~"

This is going to go on for a while, both girls flaunting, belching, ripping ass, and whatnot. And by the end of the night, Luvia plans to have this wheezy, sweaty warcrime cougar on all fours on the floor, ass up, with her fat fucking face guzzling from the slop trough-

It's going to take a bit of charm to not have the positions reversed in that scenario, but...she'll try to make it work~

[changethecircumstances]

A random collection of things my friend said during her first playthrough of house of ashes (we're a little over half way)

Oh yeah Joey and Rachel is gonna end up together. Wait is Joey his name? Oh shit wrong dude!

(About Eric) This mother fucker going out there with a fake foot. Go get behind a desk!

(About Joey getting shot) He's crying over a paper cut?

(Realizing Joey is actually dead) Oh no they killed Merwin's boyfriend!

Dar looks like a saints row character

(About the Shepards) He did nothing wrong. Except for the heroin

They built houses on that shit?

Time to play my baby daddy (nick)

I need my cougar girlfriend (Rachel) to come take care of me

(About Jason) Let me guess he over comes his intolerance and finds love

(Falling into the temple) I would have just sat there and let someone come get my ass

(After first jumpscare playing as Nick) bye Jason good luck!

(Seeing a vampire for the second time) Why are the demons already at play?

I would have just shit myself and died

(@ Jason) Did he just ask if I was nick while looking me dead in the face

(@ Eric) Oh u assumed the demons are Iraqis uh no get a priest

Jason, what do u mean don't get God involved? I'm seeing demons

Search these ruins? I'm about to search this bowel movement

Gonna tell them to speak English in a different country God Jason ur such an asshole

(About Merwin) Damn they killed his boyfriend and put him in barbed wire this day just sucks for him

(About Clarice getting yoinked) Oh fuck she dead

(While trying to save Merwin) Leave him! Leave him! They're hungry!

(Still trying to leave Merwin) Nick u are no longer my baby daddy just leave him

(When she actually and accidentally killed Merwin) Wait I killed him? At least the demons have something to eat

So no one attempted to go back up? Why gotta keep going deeper

Jason will learn to be better and grow as a person and will be penetrated as all proper characters arcs should go

(About the Curator) Spicy bitch

(When she accepted the Curator's hint) What kind of hint was that that didn't help at all!

I need Rachel to survive so she can keep two timing

(Watching Nick and Eric fight) Whatcha gonna do court marshal me in the temple? I'll kill your ass

Dars a bitch

He's not fucking around he's working on it chill Jason! (About Nick fixing the generator)

(@ Eric) Drop kick? That what they gonna do to your ass?

Nick get the fuck out of the way thickness

How is it the lighter is better than the government issued flashlights?

[artdecosupernova-writing]

Small Stories Hour: Darkspace Portent

Blindness

↳ Rain lashed against the windshield and Warren's finger impatiently tapped the trigger guard of his weapon as he aimed at the situation happening in front of his parked sedan. He squinted, nostrils flared, laser focus not once veering from the glint of the headlights reflecting off of the wild eyes of the man holding a rusty knife to his partner's throat. Agent Great didn't move a muscle, his own gaze glued to the car, catching Warren's eye between aggressive passes of the windshield wipers.

"I'm not gonna ask you again after this, Mr. Dominic," Warren shouted loud enough to be heard through the open doors and over the downpour. His own voice rang in his ears. "…Put the knife down, let go of Agent Great, and we can handle this like rational adults."

"Like hell!" Dominic tightened his grip on the crook of his captive's neck. "You think you can take me down through a windshield?!"

"Freddy," Warren called. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Freddy said, blinking away the water pouring down his face. He appeared to be in deep thought. "Trying to remember…how to…right, I've got it."

In a flurry of movement, he disarmed the unstable man and pounded his head into the hood of the car, knocking him out. Dominic slid onto the muddy ground and Warren exhaled, resting his tired arms on the dashboard.

"This is why I'm getting promoted and you're not!" Freddy said, whipping his phone out of his pocket and rubbing his neck.

Warren bit his tongue to keep from retaliating and instead watched Freddy's fingers search for the small knick on his skin when he dialed headquarters. When he found it, it began to bleed—not a lot, but enough to get immediately washed away onto the collar of his white shirt. He loosened the soaked tie and Warren watched that, too.

"Yeah, we're gonna need a van," Freddy said into his phone. "Maybe some diapers for Cougar."

Warren flipped him off despite the good-natured grin aimed in his direction.

While ETHOS backup loaded Dominic, handcuffed, into a van and out of harm's way, Freddy and Warren watched from the dry interior of their standard sedan in silence. Freddy kept clenching and unclenching his fist as he disappeared into his own mind, unaware of the cavalry feet away from him in the parking lot.

"Wanna talk about it?" Warren asked.

"Not really," Freddy said. It hadn't been enough time for his hair or clothes to dry off, but he'd aimed the air vents directly at him to hurry it along. "Nothing to talk about. Same shit, different day."

"Well, yeah, but…I mean, you could've died."

Freddy looked over at him and narrowed his eyes. "This your first day or something?"

"I'm just trying to connect, man."

"Connecting isn't really my thing." Freddy fiddled with his left ring finger and Warren caught sight of the strip of lighter skin around the digit that indicated a ring had once been there. "Kinda had to learn that the hard way."

Warren nodded but sighed. "Fine. I get it."

"And I mean…I just had to save my own ass because my supposed partner froze up and couldn't shoot a gun for some reason."

"I didn't freeze up, asswipe. Do you know how thick these windshields are?"

"Better watch how you talk to me, I'm gonna be second-tier soon."

"You've been saying that for a month now and I'm starting to worry that you're delusional again..."

Freddy emitted a laugh—quiet, concentrated, almost fake but not quite. "Yeah, I'm off my shits again I guess."

Warren looked at him, the way his brow had knotted and his shaky fingers couldn't stop gliding over the superficial cut on his throat. He wasn't that close to Freddy personally, but it didn't even take a body language expert to recognize that the ordeal shook him to the core, no matter how much he tried to roll it off his back.

"Don't let this fester," Warren said, dropping his gaze to his own lap.

The sound of the van driving away broke the silence that followed, and Freddy turned off the car engine, choking the thnk-thnk of the wipers and allowing the windshield to be obscured by the steady, straight rainfall. The darkness inside the vehicle made Warren's chest tight, but he ignored it.

"I'm gonna be in denial about this for the rest of my life," Freddy said.

"Don't," Warren said immediately. "Believe me, if you sit on trauma like this—"

"There's that word again, 'trauma,'" Freddy interrupted. "I'm over it. People don't know what trauma truly is, they just throw it around when someone gives them the wrong coffee order or their boss dared to ask them to work overtime. Do you know what trauma really is, Cougar? Do you know what that looks like?"

Warren pursed his lips, the irony of the question drawing attention to how itchy he felt being in an enclosed space with water pouring over the windows. "I get the feeling that what I do or don't know doesn't matter here."

Freddy didn't elaborate any further, much to Warren's relief. Instead, he started the car and drove them out of the lot.

Later, when Warren was alone in his apartment, he took out a bottle of bourbon and parked himself on one of his couches, scrolling through a string of texts he and Esther had been in the midst of exchanging about moving in together. He hovered over her last text to him, asking if he had been looking for places or if it would be better to keep one of theirs, and he read it for what had to have been the six hundredth time.

He took a swig straight from the bottle and psyched himself up with a loud growl and a couple of vigorous head shakes. Took a deep breath. Hesitated with his thumbs over the keys.

He typed out his response and sent it without thinking about it.

maybe we should table this for another time

When he closed his eyes, the images of Freddy's cut and his fidgeting fingers flooded his brain. His stomach surged downward and his brow prickled with perspiration.

He opened a new text message, stared at the profile picture of the woman he'd met several times at Pepper Fox's bar. Typed something out and hit send without thinking about that, too.

hey, Landon, it's Warren (dunno if you have my number saved). I'm sorry I didn't have the guts to reach out…haven't seen you in a few days, is everything okay?

He took another swig of the bourbon and screwed the cap back on, shoving it into the cupboard again and abandoning it and his phone to take a shower and go to sleep.

And he supposed it was some sort of payback that Landon never responded to him.

[ariestheginger]

You know it's been almost 7 years since I did anything when my BDAY comes around every year, but today I said fuck it...I've unfortunately been going thru some shit being lonely / single for a year now, and some legal issues...so it's my 37th BDAY today....I said fuck it ima get a Ball of shard....and shoot up some good meth... I clearly didn't think this through. Because if I had LOL I would realize if I'm shooting up I must have a sexual partner because me shooting is like one thing that just makes me that much more fun in a sexual aense....but no fuck buddy I decided to go find one. ...I Met a cougar that gave me instead wood at a gas station close to my home....lucky me right? Sorta I got her number earlier today and we'll turns out she is single and she only a few blocks from my home too. ....we've been sextin since 4:50p.m. tonight. ...good thung Shes coming over cus she's a sucker for a redhead....and I'm a big time sucker for a thick ass cougar...n she's 5'1 oh my let the games begin. ....she doesn't know that I'm not good at pulling, but I'm very good at eating pussy, also I found out I love love outdoor sex! Mmmmm I think tonight it'll roll play on the menu....damn....any other thick curvy milfs wanna have fun and volunter their pussy to me....I'll make an open,bet you'll fall in love at first dick

[newmoneyrecordshop]

THE WRESTLA WRITTEN BY JOE BUFFALO

7 BAR INSTRUMENTAL

INTRO: I UM GOT SOME NEW MOVES WELCOME TO THE WWE MY NIGGA

VS 1 I BEEN GLOBETROTTIN' HOE HOPIN' SOUL ROCKIN' I BEEN IN THE STRIPPER CLUB, DOE DROPPIN' BAD BITCH BLOW JOBBIN' TIL MY SHIT TROBBIN', RICKY BOBBIN' THEY CLOSED DOWN MANNY'S OUT IN ROBBIN' THATS WHERE THEY SHOT THAT GUARD AT I ALWAYS TELL MY TRUE HOMIES, GUARD MY BACK WATCH YO DRINKS CUZ THESE HOES SNEAKY TAKE YOU TO YO ROOM, YOU THOUGHT THESE HOES WAS EASY BELIEVE ME, LIKE YOU BELIEVE IN CHRIST BITCH MIX BULLSHIT WITH THE ICE THIS YO MUFUCKIN' LIFE MAKE SURE YOU AROUND FOLKS WHO DO YOU RIGHT I BEEN REAL CAREFUL CUZ MY MONEY GROWIN' TIDAL KEEP THE MONEY FLOWIN' MO MONEY MO HOES NO MONEY WOES, GOT A HUNNIT HOES YOU KNOW I LIKE TO KEEP MY BITCHES BROKE PUT SUM BREAD IN THEY POCKET EVERY NOW AND THEN THO KEEP EM HIGH OFF THE GOOD DOPE NO COKE. JUST PEPSI THATS HOW YOU KEEP A BAD BITCH SEXY, YEA HOOCHIE HOP IN THE TESTA COOCHIE POP FOR THE WRESTLA I'M THE WRESTLA. FOLD A BAD BITCH LIKE A PREZTEL, THATS IMPRESSIVE BAD BITCH FRIEND WANT NEXT UP GUESS WHAT, IMA LET HER I PULLED TWO BITCHES OUT AT SHOWTIME BITCH ITS SHOWTIMEEEEEEE ITS GO TIME, BIG JOE THE PROFESSIONAL PULLIN' BAD HOES A PROFESSION PRFOESSOR CLUMP, THESE HOES MAKE ME NUT COUGARS. HOUSEWIVES. SUGAR BABIES. DIVORCEES. SLUTS I DON'T GIVE A FUCK I'M THE WORLD CHAMPION GOT SOME BAD BITCHES FROM THE SOUTHHAMPTONS PRETTY ASS BLACK GIRLS BLONDE HAIR ONE BITCH THICKER THAN A MONCLER ONE THICK, ONE SLIM THATS HOW I LIKE IT YEA BUSS THAT PUSSY OPEN IMA BITE IT YEA PUSSY WIDE OPEN I'M INVITED YEA VERY INTICIN' YEA BITCH RIDE DICK LIKE SHE GOT A LICENSE YEA PUSSY PRICELESS. YEA PUSSY SO BOMB LIKE ISIS. YEA YEA HOOCHIE HOP IN THE TESLA COOCHIE POP FOR THE WRESTLA I'M THE WRESTLA. GOT A STACK OF ONES FOR THESE HOES SEE HOW LOW THEY CAN GO BAD BITCH DO ANYTHING FOR THE DOE WELCOME TO NEWMONEY CO HEAD NIGGA IN CHARGE, BITCH ITS BUFFALO YEA ITS BUFFALO.

I'M THE WRESTLA WOOO BIG JOE THE WRESTLA WE DO JUST THE AMOUNT, NO EXTRA GOT ONE HELL OF A FLEX BRUH I'M THE WRESTLA, YEA HOOCHIE HOP IN THE TESLA COOCHIE POP FOR THE WRESTLA I'M THE WRESTLA. NO COMPETITON, DON'T MATTER WHO NEXT UP IMA FLEX HER YEAH OH MY GOD, I'M THE WRESTLA.

OUTRO (FADE) KEEPIN' THIS SHIT ALL THE WAY ONE HUNNIT ALL THE TIME WELCOME TO CHATHAM MY NIGGA YEA THE MOST BEAUTIFULEST HOOD IN THE LAND YEA

[orleans-jester]

Elsa had noticed him, even if she had not noticed that he was noticing her in return; that all of the little flirtations were just teasing because she was nearly twice his age. Clopin was the cougar, not her, and she didn’t need some other type of animal being attached to her, not when Flotsam was eternally making Heffer jokes because of her first name. He was handsome though, young, sturdy Koda, and she was still a flesh and blood woman, not made of ice and slush like she made herself out to be to the world as a defence mechanism, founded from her childhood. Then he kept making moves and here they were, doing their own, unspecified, far beyond the awkward acquaintanceship that they had at the beginning. Don’t put a name on it, don’t put a label on it. Just - let it be. And for once, she was finding that easy.

Her legs, long, pale, shapely, up to her ass - not large, but round - she always did make her jeans look good, to her feet, arched, neatly manicured, taken care of. Everything just so neat and tidy with Elsa, as if the intrusion of scars and ink was frowned upon. Even the underwear was nothing flashy. Her body wasn’t a show for Koda, she didn’t go to lengths to try to please him with her appearance, it was just so naturally all her.

Her eyes danced across those broad shoulders, forever enticed by them. They were so strong looking, like Koda could carry the weight of the world on his shoulders and not sink down onto his knees, not that she would ever wish him that much of a load. It was just something she discovered that she liked - Thomas loved Valerie’s and Flotsam’s legs, Elsa apparently had a thing about shoulders now. Even while he was stripping down the rest, those tree trunk legs, it was those shoulders that she now brushed her fingers over, leaving traces of cold, as if an ice cube had been sliding along his hot flesh.

She held it tighter when he entered, a gasp coming out from her lips. It was something she had to get adjusted to each and every time, her body stretching to accommodate him. It always took a moment. She hadn’t been ‘sexually’ active in many years until Koda, and her body was working to grow more accustomed to it. But she enjoyed that initial feeling of pushing and fullness - it made her feel … alive.

Koda was a man. Not the boy that others might seem him as. That she had seen him as when they first met because he had been so young. But in their time together, he had grown. Still - it was almost amusing to see him act like a boy when the bra was taken off of her pale frame and breasts were exposed. They weren’t large, they didn’t point straight up to the ceiling when she laid down the way that fake breasts did, but they were still boobs, and they still brought him a boyish delight that he could see over his face. That amusement was short lived as his mouth took in a nipple, her body pushing back against him, taking more of him in at a faster pace, his touch bringing out a neediness.

Her hands wandered about his shoulders, her fingertips feeling like they were heating up just from the warmth of him, then she would lift her head and tuck it into his neck. Nuzzling her nose into that warmth and pressed soft and tender kisses to the thick skin, raising one leg to get him in deeper. She wasn’t thinking at this moment, she wasn’t over-analyzing, but she was just feeling, and doing what felt right, even if that meant giving the bear a little nibble of her own.

She was never particularly loud, but her breath came out in pants when she got closer, the way that her leg was up and the way that he was leaning down over her was stimulating her in just the right away. It was how Koda would know, would be able to get perceptive enough to tell since she wasn’t the kind to go screaming or dirty talking. Still though, when she got there, she would let out a soft and sultry, “-oohhhh-”, almost a hum more than a moan, her head tilting back, quivers underneath the skin.

He'd not been serious, but when she answered there was something in her tone, a subtext in her manner. He thought he'd been picking up on social cues like this since the burial, like things were changing between them. It was like even though he was completely joking her answer felt earnest and honest. It kept him searching her eyes as they played. Damn, did she have ever lovely eyes.

More compliments. Flirtation.

For as long as he'd known her, or sex as they'd had, he wasn't sure when it started to affect his stomach so much. Lots of little butterflies he was so drawn in by it. The attraction was changing. Strengthening. It was just a guy's hope once upon a time.

This was a man that was starting to get hungry for it. When she spoke about him his mind flashed back to little moments he'd seen her at the dojo out of the corner of his eye while he was teaching. She had a reason to be there for her own classes. He was trying so hard to get her to notice him that he thought he was just hypersensitive to her in the room. By the wall, on the bench, by the support beam, the bag, the garbage can, it kept flashing when it dawned on him maybe he wasn't picking up she was noticing before she thought she did.

The very idea she just implanted, the realization, it heated up the look in his eyes, the space shared between them.

Once he had her down at the foot of the bed and they had peeled down those jeans there used to be a comparison in his mind, this difference of how he could feel a slight moment of heat released when close enough between someone's legs after getting their pants down. He hadn't been with anyone else in some time. It didn't come to mind this time. He just reveled in that open the refridgerator door refreshing feeling Elsa always was. He smoothed his cheek over her panties, his chin next, then hooked his fingers into the edges and pulled those down her lovely legs.

He'd already had his shirt off so he looked down at her as he got up to his knees between her legs and undid the button just under his taught belly. This put the trunk of his body on display and how aroused he was as he unzipped and exposed his lower half. He pushed all the fabrics down to his own knees. He'd pause there and take in the sight of her.

Things were changing inside Koda. Physically, his breathing upped. His chest would swell and broaden his shoulders to a point he had to mindfully focus to pace his breath. When he looked down to admire the image in his bed he wanted her, oh he wanted her, but there was more than a lust. Whatever bond they had formed over time was kicking up the admiration reminding him loudly how stunning, and special this was.

He pulled his jeans off the bottom of his legs and pushed them over the edge while never taking his eyes off her body. It was an image he didn't want to forget. Pink, soft, exposed, and open to him, the most vulnerable position there was, all on the strongest most powerful and dangerous woman he knew. Could he get any harder? Fuck.

He slapped his hand atop her knees and gripped as he smoothed down her thighs and towered back over her. They became chest to chest again. He'd take one hand and push hair back from her face and the other would tuck under her back between the mattress and hook up over her shoulder. They had a tendency for fire and ice foreplay, but he reached for none of his candle flames. He locked his eyes on hers today and pushed right in. The heat would all come from his exression, the exchange in the of his dark eyes. It'd be in the urgency behind his thrust as the friction built stronger needing more of her. It'd be in how the stark contrast of the room's energy difference, silliness vaporated into the great tug-o-war with his focus between her eyes and the contour of her body, His hands kept changing where to touch. The backs of her arms, the length of her ribs, that curve at her hip bone, mm that sweet collar.

He'd finally get hasty with her sensible bra as once described. Never a thought that came to his mind, not with her curves. The younger women were trying too hard. Her curves did all the talking that Koda's body needed. Her body was the art work. He didn't work it off quite as smooth as he could often be. Free the fucking tata's already. The build's urgency fumbled him with hasty hands trying to get to his prize. She'd be able to hear his erractic breathing tell his needy tale. The moment he got her breasts out a little smile of satisfaction would come over his face before hunkering down and getting big mouthful of one side and a handful on the other, all mixed with a moan and a sigh of relief from the struggle.

Then he was fully immersed in Elsa, her scent, the slick thrusting of his hips, the heat in his thighs, clenching muscles, face in curves, taste of skin, sound of her breath, her pulse, her temperature. He'd lift his face, arms astride her, hair swung in front of his shoulders. Before he'd dip back down to tuck into her neck there was only pleasure on Koda's face, pure pleasure.