#theyre the ppl i talk to the most nowadays tbh

[wooahaes]

anyway im here to provide life lessons at 3 am lmao hope they help some of y’all!! ppl who genuinely respect you are genuinely great to find and im thankful every day that i know livvie and ursa 💕

[thevims2]

All the Single(s) ladies, ❤️/💔/🥘/🎵/📱/🔮???

sorry i made you wait! i got this while I was asleep... anyway my hcs under the cut!

Lola:

❤️ i talked a bit about the singles here and i feel like what i wrote for Lola is pretty much the idea i have for her love life... shes a Mystery to me.. she ahs an offscreen gf who no one sees ever. she never brings her over cause she hates most of her roommates, sometimes all of them. if i had to pick someone in strangetown for her to date maybe id choose crystal? just cause they share their aspiration, and maybe vidcund or lazlo introduced the two. but also what kind of sister would go with her brother's crush? a shitty one forreal

💔 i cant see her with ANY man of strangetown. NOT A SINGLE ONE. LESBIAN HOUSEHOLD. i especially dont like her with ajay, that guy is kinda boring like, she deserves better. also, i think both erin and kristen had kind of the hots for her at one point or another, but she never reciprocated

🥘 i think she has kind of a sweet tooth, but she prefers stuff like pies or like, carrot cakes over cupcakes or the like. she doesnt really like cooking, but enjoys jennys baking a lot

🎵i dont think she listens to that much music, except for when shes working. she usually picks instrumental music, like movie scores playlists, to help her focus. i think both her and chloe picked up some instrument to play as children/tennagers, but lola didnt like it very much

📱i think she uses social networks a lot, and she uses mostly stuff like twitter, i can see her getting argumentative with some rando on some specific issue on the internet. i bet shes active in political subreddits too

🔮 her and chloes used to swap identities for a day really often when they were kids, but for some reason people always seemed to catch on it. it took lola way too long to realize they still had different hair colors...

Chloe:

❤️ talking about otps with chloe is like, a SIN to me. shes THE romance sim, she dated half of strangetown, like i cant even think of her settling down with one person. but i really like the idea of her and erin dating at some point, both cause a) that sweet, sweet enemies to lovers dynamic and b) the way both pascal and loki would GO CRAZY knowing their sisters are dating.

💔 mmmmh i cant say i have a notp with chloe, i ahd to ask my gf who shes usually shipped with and she mentioned general grunt which,,, i honestly cant envision it, like first of all he hates aliens but also hes way too uptight for her.

🥘 i think she loves greasy, junk food. she snacks a lot, and she loves going to diners and ordering huge milkshakes and massive cheeseburgers. i think she likes cooking, and is pretty good at it

🎵she loves, of course, pop music. she doesnt have a favourite artist, but listens to the top 100 playlist everyday. she loves singing and plays some guitar and some bass too

📱instagram of course - she posts a ton of selfies and stories everyday, and likes to flirt on there with strangers. i almost said tik tok too, but i think she wouldnt see the point of it/wouldnt undertsand how it worked.

🔮 her fave thing to do with dates/people shes going out with is taking naps together

Erin:

❤️ im a huge erin/kristen fan tbh, but i also think erin/lazlo would be cute, theyre both kinda silly ppl in my head, i think theyd have fun together. sadly, she was a lesbian in my canon so :/

💔 erin/nervous. i dont see the appeal

🥘 idk why she gives off the vibe of someone who likes fish tacos to me. the soft shell ones, and the fish is seasoned with some lime dressing. she does cook sometimes, but she doesnt like making elaborate stuff for herself, sticking for simple dishes.

🎵she listens to indie&/folk music all the time, and tells everyone how it helps keep her aura fresh and vibrant. she brags for weeks about the latest, obscure artist she found out, how good their music is, how authentic it is compared to all the other musicians nowadays... but she probably likes pop too, and considers a couple of singers her "guilty pleasure". no musical talent whatsoever

📱LISTEN. SHE DOES LIVE TAROT READINGS ON TIK TOK. WITH DONATIONS AND ALL. she also posts a lot on #witchtok and the likes

🔮 when i first played the singles household i accidentally made her die and had to mobilize almost all of strangetown to resurrect her with game mechanics

Kristen:

❤️ again personally, Kristen/Erin is just perfect to me. i bet they pined after each other for sooo long before they finally got together, and now theyre just a really cute couple. no im not projecting

💔 i cant see her with any dude honestly. again, lesbian household

🥘 i think she likes pasta dishes a lot, both cause theyre very filling and because she needs carbohydrates with all the sport she does. thats the only thing she can cook

🎵i think she unironically listens to dubstep, or the nowadays equivalent of it. she blasts it in her ears every morning during her jogging session, and she feels her ears bleeding by the end of her laps. cant sing really well, but has a good sense of ryhthm

📱she only uses facebook, the rest is a mystery to her.

🔮 she doesnt have a good sense of humor, she mostly likes puns but any more than that is lost on her

[uselessheretic]

i feel like fandom can be pretty hostile towards teens tbh esp in fandoms that reasonably would be geared more towards their age group. like its not like im gonna pop into the sk8 tag and be shocked that its mostly full of 15 yos bc that is the target demographic. i feel like people kinda present things as if theres this antagonistic relationship where teens are attacking adults or trying to force their way into fandom spaces, but teens have been a huge part of fandom for years. like i was 14 writing shitty teen titans fanfiction on ffn 10 years ago. a lot of fanart, fanfiction, cosplay, zines, etc are made by teens. theyre a part of fandom as well and have been really for like?? a very long time?? 

really most teens just wanna talk to other ppl around their ages. in my experience a lot of them are upfront about their boundaries and all. its good that 15 yos can say “i dont want to talk to ppl 20+” and that, to me, is much more preferable than how fandom was 10 years ago. 

like im not even old lmao but i feel like people forget how shitty and predatory and awful fandom was like?? 5+ years ago?? like seriously. it wasnt until around 2013-2015ish that people started being like “hey if youre an adult dont roleplay nsfw with minors” bc that kinda was the norm. maybe theres some things that are worse about fandom nowadays! but overall fandom was a space that was not safe before and i struggle to feel nostalgic for that culture esp when there are less safeguards in place now to create adult only spaces so it really is just self regulated lmao

fandom has teens in it. fandom has had teens in it for a while. fandom is gonna continue to have teens in it. the main thing is just deciding whether you, as an adult, will ignore this or not, but it really isnt true to say that teens dont contribute to fandom. 

like?? who do you think is making all the flower crown icons and edits?? i swear every time i click on a fanartists page theyre like in ninth grade and drawing at a professional level. they really do also organize events and curate content and run zines too. yes, people 30+ organize cons and all, but why would a teenagers contribution of art and community be any less valuable?

i feel like if it was anything other than fandom then people would be less willing to speak so negatively about teens, ya know? if a teen is bothering you then block and move on. theyre kids. they will never think that you, a 30 yo, is cool. thats the way it should be to make sure us adults stay humble lmao

truly tho, the vast majority of them are just vibing and doing their own thing with people their own age. theres no reason to expect them to be respectful of adults and their contributions if youre not going to extend that same kindness back to them. 

[ninatastic]

@kay-licious how dare u (thanks <3) @silent-calling youre doing amazing sweetie

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

I wouldnt call it a key factor but it’s important to feel attraction towards your partner

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

sure! If it’s a healthy one definitely :D

3. Are you a virgin?

nah 

4. Are you in a relationship?

yeh!

5. Are you in love?

I’d say so!

6. Are you single this year?

no

7. Can you commit to one person?

yes

8. Describe your crush

it me bf

9. Describe your perfect mate

same as above c: 

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

no, only when it comes to animals c;

11. Do you ever want to get married?

thats a dream of mine tbh

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

I guess every healthy person would say no but yes, I’d absolutely do (only the first time tho, after the second time you gotta ask yourself if it’s really worth it)

13. Do you get jealous easily?

in regard to my bf: I used to but it’s a hell of a lot less nowadays. In regard to people in general, sometimes, especially when im not doing well mentally

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

me bf

15. Do you have any piercings?

just have my ears pierced!

16. Do you have any tattoos?

no but maybe soon

17. Do you like kissing in public?

only if its sweet forehead or cheek kisses, or quick kisses on the mouth or hand kisses

20. Do you shower every day?

yes though I gotta admit I really have to force myself. Not because I like being stinky but because everything is kinda difficult sometimes

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

bruh I sure hope my bf does;;

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

nah

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

I’ve been in a relationship for 5 and a half years now, I think so

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

it is possible but who tf knows

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

idk, to be frank: I think my life would be a bit easier if I wasnt in a relationship, or if I hadnt been in a relationship for the past 1-2 years. And I often feel like im more of a burden to my bf than anything else. But thats a different story

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

as in losing touch with me? I guess so

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

a song yes and it was awkward as hell ajhajdfha and people have done drawings for me which is <3<3<3<3<3<<3<3<33

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Yup

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

very very unfortunately yes, and just like a bunch of you guys I was this close to killing myself. I was in a very bad place which I know is not an excuse for this. I still think about it even if it’s been a time since then but I think I cqan never forgive myself because of that

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

often but im too much of a scared cat dsfskjf  idk though, I would love to be much more petite size wise

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

oh often

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

yeah;; I’m not exactly pretty or popular, so puberty was hard

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

hell yeah

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

:( no

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

yeh!!

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Yeah and it’s difficult to be normal then aaaaaahhhhhhh

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

some of my friends have a strong disliking towards my current bf but i dont know if you can call it hate

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

yeah and it ruined me for a while

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

uuuuhh not really I think

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

whenever I write bday cards I always put a poem in it :D

41. Have you had sex so far this year?

hella

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

depends on how thirsty I am

43. How long was your longest relationship?

5 and a half years and counting

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

2-3

45. How many people did you kiss in 2011?

uuhh I was 14, no one 

46. How many times did you have sex last year?

HELLA

47. How old are you?

22 my dudes

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

I#d try to play it cool because internally I’m panicking, someone help me

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

I love about my bf how you can ALWAYS count on him when shit gets down, even if he hasnt talked to a friend for a good while and they’re like “hey I need you”, he’ll be there in a sec Also that he is still able to surprise me

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

jsdfhsjdfks GO AWAY, I’d say while closing the door and shutting the blinds quicker than lightning

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

yeah, but that’s probably because I have bpd and depressions

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

yeah, I tried to help them on all occassions, so much that I ruined my own life partially and made myself sick. But whatever I did or said, they apparently want to suffer, so i gave up trying. 

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

yeah my abuser probably

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

unfortunately yes and fortunately yes

55. Share a relationship story.

uuuuuuhhhhh; I dont really know what to write here. Guess I’ll never forget when my bf held a kitten (which was only a week old) in his hands and he almost cried because he loved the baby so much. Haha, he was afraid of crushing it though because it was much smaller than the palms of his hands

56. State 8 facts about your body

I gained a lot of weight since last year which is why I avoid posting or taking pics, but according to everyone else you dont see it that much (?); my hair is getting its natural curliness back; I fucked up my knee so I’ll have knee surgery next year; I bruise easily; I have a shit ton of scars; I love my super green eyes; I have thicc thighs and if I’m very emotional I get red spots all over my body

57. Things you want to say to an ex

to my first ever bf: fuck u lmao to the second bf I had: I’m so sorry for everything and I hope that you found your place :)

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

uuuhhh be sweet and understanding, be funny, be somewhat smart, dont be a mean asshole and be nice to other people (especially kids) and animals and also be able to be fascinated by small things 

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

yikes

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

my current bf is 8 years older than me

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

how open and nice they are? Idk I always choose my ppl to hang out with according to this

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

even though I’m a switch I have a big preference for being the sub, so if someone can dominate me and yknow do stull like carry me princess style or something im all like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

everything that comes after kissing imo

64. What is your definition of cheating?

I think as soon as you try to pursue someone emotionally that already counts as cheating

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

kissing, grinding, I love when someone talks dirty to me

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

if it aint too much of a tmi i’d love to admit that we have a collar and a leash so (not thinking about pet play uughfjhjsdfkhsd, just yknow someone is able to drag me to them like this or being held in place while being taken from behind is p nice)

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

something something being outside in the nature and also good food 

68. What is your sexual orientation?

69. What turns you off?

super super wet kisses where also my nose somehow gets stuck in someone elses mouth Like dude r u a vacuum cleaner sdfhsdkjhfks

70. What turns you on?

being manhandled

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

idk I dont really have a lot of wet dreams and usually theyre not very kinky but rather sweet and slow 

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

I like dirty talk, so imma leave that open 

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

i love to get flowers, or lil stuff that reminds us of our friendship or something, self made/home made stuff is always !!!!!!!!!!!!

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

probably hands? I love it when girls have super slender hands and when boys have rough and big hands

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

I already answered that c:

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

I have a few stories I’m proud of! But I really love this one: When I was little I grew up in a village in which like 300-400 people lived (maximum) and next to us lived this sweet older couple who always gave us sweets and vegetable for our parents, or they brought us stuff from when they went on vacation. The man is now constantly sick, he suffers from parkinson and you see the early statges of dementia setting in. A while ago he wanted to go and get the German version of fish and chips with his wife but due to him needing a ton of surgeriesw constantly he wasnt able to go out with his wife. When my mom told me this I was like wtf u cant just tell me this, I’m too soft. So I went and got fish and chips from the best market around us for him and flowers for his wife, despite the fact that I havent seen them in YEARS. When I arrived at their front door both of them hugged me and cried a bit

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

not bad if everything is consensual and if there’s a power balance thats equal 

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

I think the leash thing is one of the kinkiest things we’ve ever done tbh

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

yesterday a bit when my bf went out wth friends and had a few beers while I was stuck at home with the thought that I can never have a beer again dkadfjahdf as stupid as that sounds but I always enjoyed these chill evenings with a beer and friends

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

this morning when I cuddled my cats :D

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

my bf and many videogame and anime characters, also my best female friend is hella attractive, also some of my friends are to die for

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

my bf!!

83. Who was your first kiss with?

my first bf sdfjsdfs

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

it didnt really work out, it seemed as he was more interested in saying “hey im in a relationship!” than in me, hah;;

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

yeah, sure

[t-shrt]

100 q tag

no one wud read it but ima do it anyways cos fun tag by @dubblebubble

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal than milk cos i love tht crunchy crunch

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? LOVE

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? receipts, pen lol

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? coffee=basic latte/hot tea, no sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? sometimes, not too often tho

6: do you keep plants? no but i want to but ill be terrible at it so no

7: do you name your plants?

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? digital art

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yes very it keeps me sane

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side/back, back esp nowadays

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? lots lol

12: what’s your favorite planet? earth? hahahah it used to be jupiter cos i loved sailor jupiter as a child

13: what’s something that made you smile today? friend + nct + fics

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? two separate bedrooms, a balcony, good amount of plants, separate fridge for alcohol, sizeable kitchen

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it rains diamonds in jupiter and saturn $$$$

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? bolognese hahahaha im boring

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? i just dyed my hair a darker ash brown n i quite like it ive been light for awhile

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. one came 2 mind cos we both recently talked ab it, a longtime close friend of mine n i used to have the biggest fight where he threw me a pair of scissors n i threw him a basketball in retaliation lmfaooo it still became a running joke more than a decade later...

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? not really...prolly shud

20: what’s your favorite eye color? i actually like brown hahah, maybe a slightly lighter shade of brown

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. it was a gift from my parents, a simple small messenger bag with a lot of slots, brought it with me literally everywhere, during my hookups, my night outs, been stained with questionable things (its been cleaned lol!).... almost lost it in a club only to be found by a friend... it has foundation stains tho lol

22: are you a morning person? n o

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? sleep, listen to music, watch stuff, not reply to messages

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? no

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? nothing rly comes to mind but im p sure ive been somewhere like tht lol

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? LOL my adidas superstars

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? ermm the red colored ones?

28: sunrise or sunset? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm very good question

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? hmm what comes to mind is the way both of us sometimes exchange goodnight msgs w nct farm emojis heheeh

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? lol ofc....

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. unfortunately im rly basic on socks, u wud most likely find me wearing black ankle socks or black ballet(?) socks nothing more nothing less.......

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. a lot has happened usually during that time lol. duno which story to pick honestly hahahah. i think a memorable one might be when we were drinking n played games and we talked and talked and joked n nek min one by one we fell asleep in the same room hahah... im sure there are other stories tht might be more eventful but fr the life of me my memorys fuzzy rn lol

33: what’s your fave pastry? i love strawberry shortcakes! or mille crepes

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i kept a LOT hahah. prolly named a few, but nothing was too special. i think it rly reflected how i managed my relationships then, n evn yrs aftwds, like i ws always lonely n my instincts were to gain quantity cos deep down i cudnt trust ppl n cudnt get too committed lololol

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? i wish i was cos sometimes ppl wud make pretty colorful notes, but i usually just buy ones tht i wud use cos practicality.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? mmmmm is it cheating if i say nct cos they cover a range of genres lmao. but their ballads i guess yeah.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i mean i prefer to keep it clean, but its always really messy HAHAHA ;_;

38: tell us about your pet peeves! 1. someone rude 2. someone who doesnt know how to respect others’ boundaries 3. someone self-entitled n takes themselves 2 seriously

39: what color do you wear the most? black on black on black on black baby

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? an evangelion ring, its the black (lilith) moon with lcl gem in it, to me i guess symbolizes my struggle with human relations, n how eva as an anime illustrated tht n the fantasy of having everyone’s consciousness merged into one--n the fact that lilith in itself (in astrology) signifies the darker side of a human being? i guess n the fact that evn if u acknowledge ur darker side u cud still use it to further urself

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? hmmmm i guess last was a self help book, unfuck your boundaries, helped me support my need to strengthen my boundaries

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! little rogue :) its in a small alleyway, a little quaint shop, easy to miss... small potted plants, with an amaaazing matcha latte

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? siiigh a guy i was involved with lmfao i cut him off tho

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? hmmmmm good question i guess lately ive been very thankful tht i could feel comfortable taking my own time and space, n accepting the positive energy others wn give 2 me. being single really, really does help evn tho id feel lonely sometimes, bc the only weight i carry is the weight of my own soul n i wn learn how to nourish that

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? very i think

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. i have a lot HAHAHA if u were a friend of mine ud prolly get tired of them. a genuinely bad one wud be haha youre so punny lmfao

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? nothing rly lmao if theyre healthy n someone derives happiness frm it i wudnt want it to be banned

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? probably not lol, i mean i think i retained similar fears since i ws a kid but now obviously my biggest fear(s) would be more...specific to me

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? its the digital age baby spotify ftw (in all srsness i wish i collected vinyls tho hh)

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? i used to collect ramune bottles lmaoooo

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? hmmmm nah lets not do this right now lol

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? LOL too many but i love shitpost quality memes tbh

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? pulp fiction. i actually loved it, i think i still do, its entertainment value is kickass, havent taken the time to dissect it in any other way

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? oh man i think it ws the dude i ws seeing lmao fk him

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? a lot, n most of them im not proud of, cos some involves self harm

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? kindness n genuineness, someone’s courage in being vulnerable

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? dont feel like it rn but everytime i do 10/10 will dramatically reenact the lyrics right to the guitar riffs

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? im definitely the wine (aunt) lmfaooo im already one tbh 

59: what’s your favorite myth? Eros + Psyche, Icarus and the sun

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? i love poetry hahah...cant think of any rn

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? id love any gift given 2 me as long as they wont harm me or anything lmao n i dont think ive evr given anything too stupid. well.. idk if this is stupid tho like i sent flowers thanking my ex for ‘helping me live’ well aft we’ve blocked each other off cos the end to the relo was js daaamn toxic lmao

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nope

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? music i do spotify n im pretty particular ab organizing my playlists i guess. my books im alright with as long as theyre just stacked properly no problem

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? prolly rly dark blue cos its 12 am

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? a lot tbh cos ive rly been focusing on stuff internally

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? daisies, sunflowers, n baby breath here n there

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? somber i guess maybe a tad bit nostalgic?

68: what’s winter like where you live? heeella cold not cos of the temperature itself but the winds thooo, if it drizzles evn in the slightest it feels like needles piercing through ur bones literally

69: what are your favorite board games? i like the game of life, ummm cards against humanity?

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no n never will lol

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? the fruity kinds

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yea def lol

73: what are some of your worst habits? disappearing from people when i feel strong emotions

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. they’re small but they’re so full of love, full of life, full of strength, and full of care for others, they’re the type of person who will seek their goals till the end despite obstacles and still be able to not lose their warm heart on the way. they put so much thought and care to every aspect of their life even when in the past they have been handed some bad things, and i adore them for that.

75: tell us about your pets! none :( wish i have a cat though

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? hahahhaah

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink!

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neither sometimes i think theyre weird sometimes cute sometimes weirdly cute lmao

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? write up 24 things they love about me to stop me from hating myself

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white. no but if i had to id say white anyways lol cos its a blank canvas

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. i dunno uhhhh her rounded eyes which seemed to at first glance, harbor plenty of wonder seemed to be weighted by many untold secrets, the traces of which could be found when she erupts into laughter where the wonder would manifest itself in the form of small stars in the dark of her eyes.

82: are/were you good in school? meh. i try

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? weirdly i like cigarette after sex’s one cos its so simple yet telling

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? planning on getting an evangelion one, another heart one, a sunflower one, and prolly a ghibli related one

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? manga? naruto 4evr LOL

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? hmmm thinkin of dpr live’s IAOT

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? lord of the rings, harry potter, one of ghibli movies lol

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i think impressionism is very cool evn tho i dont do it myself

89: are you close to your parents? eeeeee

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Melbourne is a wonderful city where many things could coexist in one--happiness and sadness, camaraderie and loneliness, hot and cold, quiet and full of life, productive and relaxed, bursting with unfocused energy yet incredibly organized, and for many reasons it’s become one of my favorite cities, and definitely my favorite to live in.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? no plans tbh lol maybe home?.......japan? heheheh nahhh

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? it depends lol mostly i guess drowns my pasta in cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? i always wear it down, either straight or wavy

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? a friend of mine

95: what are your plans for this weekend? stay in most likely, do stuff

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? 100% procrastinate lmaoooo

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? ISTG, jkjk INFP, leo sun aquarius moon cancer rising, ravenclaw

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? im alws meh ab hiking tbh lmao 

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Long Slow Distance - NCT 127, Four - Sleeping At Last, idontwannabeyouanymore - Billie Eilish, Stop This Train - John Mayer, Digital Lover - Crush

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the past so she’d stop focusing her life around anybody else but herself

[rantingprincess]

lets talk? 얘기해.

to say that ive never thought about dating anyone during my time in college is a lie. i feel like if im not thinking about work or school or homework, im always thinking about dating. or at least the feelings that comes with dating. 

ya know that feeling of safety. in the arms of someone that you like, (love?). the feeling of home. the recharge at the end of a bad day. that 두근두근 느낌 thats easily settled. like a feeling of coming home after a long ass day and just falling into your bed. the feeling of comfort. i used to have that, i admit. and i miss that more than anything. 

the part that i dont like it is because, i used to have that and yet ive never really dated anyone really. im a touchy feely person who easily gets swept off my feet at the slightest bit of emotion thrown my way. and i guess i always have 후배s around me, 남후배s that i can always rely on. like to just lean into them without really meaning anything. i dont know if i left a lot of broken feelings and hearts along the way (im pretty sure i at least did major damage on person ahemdaniel), but like it always feels nice. to have that steadiness to be able to lean on to.

nowadays, the only steady thing that i can lean onto are walls. i hug my gal pals, but like, its not the same. its not the same and i dont think it will ever be. there has been multiple nights ive spent lying awake in bed, missing the feeling of a “coming home” hug. the hug that i described above. like the kinds that i get when i hug my dad, that sense of security. but i dont think ive ever been really close to my dad. i rarely seek for his comfort, only in my most vulnerable, worn out state of mind type of times will i ever seek out his hug. my relationship w my dad is like daughter-father with a touch of business sort of relationship. he grew up disciplined, the most disciplined out of 6 children. he was the youngest son, and he was the most disciplined out of his siblings. and he raised both me and my sister that way. theres always a running joke around the family (both sides of the family), that my sister and i was raised semi-militaristic style. and tbh, its not really a joke. especially since both sides of the family make the same type of joke without them really interacting with each other. yea its really not a joke, especially when my mother’s mom side of the family, make that joke too (my grandmother is the eldest out of 8 children [if im not mistaken], and like her living siblings sometimes subtly make that joke too. so yea. not a joke, but we just bring the topic up like its a joke). 

so yea. to say that i dont think about the dating life during my day to day life is a lie. i feel like i always think about that when my mind is not preoccupied w work at hand. i miss being able to just go for hug. or to talk about random stuff. or to just have a shoulder to cry to when school gets rough. miss it as in, more than just a friend to talk to, ya know? friends are great, but like, you sometimes need that emotional stabilizer to get you through the day. the week. the month. whatever. 

and it always baffles my mind. i feel like the ppl around me always had their fair share of dating life throughout grade school or even now. and the fact that ive never dated anybody (even if it was for like a hot minute or day or 2 weeks or whatever. yea. never did it.) baffles my mind and scares the crap out of me. bc then i start to think about the negative thoughts. am i not pretty enough? am i not smart enough? tall enough? short enough? am i just simply not enough? i look around me and im surrounded by amazing girls. all of my gal pals, theyre all pretty darn beautiful in their own ways: beauty, brains, beauty & brains, passion, thoughtfulness, and on and on and on. so how i can i not compare myself to them and pick out the flaws that i see in myself. i keep telling myself that im just waiting for the right one. but will the right one ever come to find me?

will i ever be enough?