#theyre scarily addictive

[jrueships]

idk what it is about maxey but im literally never gonna call him tyrese, like he just seems like a MAXEY 🤭 literally the perfect name for him

EXACTLY !!!! look at his lil gumdrop face 🥰🥰 THAT IS A MAXEY !!!! to the MAX! HE IS MAXEY TO THE MAX ! ! !

when he's happy <33 he's maxey !!

when he's tuff!!! HES TUFF MAXEY ‼️‼️

[discourse-on-decadence]

ooc- Headcanons~

I was bored

The entirety of my ‘paper cranes’ fic. Read it. Linked on pinned

caffeine addict, drinks too much coffee

he gets really clingy when tired and falls asleep on Oda pretty often

accidentally smudges his glasses a lot

his work bag has a handgun, an umbrella, his camera, a half empty box of some cigarettes, an old lighter, cinnamon gum, nail clippers (because he bites his nails), loose paper, and some other things

hates having to kill people, but occasionally needs to

still extremely secretive over what he does with work

likes cats, allergic to dogs (only mildly)

detests hospitals

can type REALLG fast

has really pretty handwriting too

does origami, more Specifically paper cranes

Generally just dislikes his appearance, it’s a sore subject

scarily good at acting- considering he used to do a lot of short term infiltrations (mostly convincing people to give him information in some- interesting way.)

hates looking at himself in mirrors. It makes him uncomfortable

two words- torture scars (don’t dig into it, he’ll deflect.)

chronically sleep deprived (this is just canon)

he can speak a few different languages too, namely Japanese, English, French, and German

really truly only comfortable around Oda

oh and Murakoso is like his annoying sister theyre sibling coded

still Fucked Up from the dead apple events and sometimes still thinks he’ll jsut be killed in his sleep to make up for his and Chuuya’s deal

( @flawless-oda @ask-ishirin-kiata cuz yall might wanna see)

[i-write-stories-not-sins-bitch]

Resident Evil Films

Right, so we all know that the Resident Evil film franchise is utter fucking chaos. The storyline changes every film, half of the characters are absolutely jacked while the other half shouldn't have lasted the first hour of infection (Not counting the first film, since there's only one civilian in that movie), and Alice somehow always knows exactly what to do.

For instance, I'm re-watching the series right now, I'm on the second film and I'm just pointing out everything wrong. I guess that's why I'm writing this.

Resident Evil: Apocalypse.

Introducing us to these characters is so boring. The only creative one is Terri's introduction, and the reason we know who she is from the get go is that she's sown on the news while we're being introduced to Jill. Obviously Jill already knows about these infected beasts, but how does that come into the story? How does that work? She wasn't at the mansion from the first film. That's where the infection started. Plot hole. They just took Jill's original character from the game and threw her into the mix. We didn't even know Peyton - the guard from the gate - was a S.T.A.R.S operative till he's killed.

Also, I wanna know why LJ was arrested in the first place.

Anyway, somehow the disgraced S.T.A.R.S officer Jill Valentine is grouped with an infected S.T.A.R.S officer and the reporter that covered her story.

They get to a church. Classic zombie horror trope.

Surprise, there's a crazy priest feeding people to his zombified 'sister'

And now there's not one, not two, but three Bio-weapons in the church where our characters reside. Three lickers (That's their canon name for some reason, it's not my choice) and nowhere to go, what do they do? They'll die, obviously. Unless-

Huzzah! someone come to save them.

It's Alice, of course.

She literally found exactly where they were? the only competent people in the city? Unlikely.

Alice literally bursts through a window on a motorbike, and takes down three lickers and she hasn't even got her powers yet. This woman singlehandedly kicks a church pew across the floor. Do you know how fucking heavy those bastards are?? One of that size would need 4 people to move it, and she just flicks it across the floor.

Also, you're telling me, this entire city goes tits up and not one single person looted a gun store?

In America??

All I'm saying is, it's highly unlikely that she'd stumble upon a perfectly maintained gun store while the resto of the city is in tatters.

Also 2: You're telling me that all 12 S.T.A.R.S operatives holed up together? Not counting Jill and Peyton. But both teams, Alpha and Bravo we're together? And they didn't take in a single civilian until LJ? Not likely, since they're "The best of the best", that they're literally the city's pride and joy? Not likely at all.

Then Peyton is gunned down by Nemi, but the rest of them got away. Highly unlikely. They recruit ANOTHER civilian, and go to get Angie, who calmly watches as Terri is devoured, Jill finds her, they meet Nikolai, who is tackled by a devil dog mid introduction, and killed off almost immediately, then the whole kitchen scene happens and it just hurts my brain.

That is in no way how a gas oven works. Turning two ovens up to full would not create enough gas to fill a room, let alone blow it up.

Then Angie turns out to be infected, but the virus wont kill her, it just makes her legs work again? Bull to the shit.

I swear that Carlos is the only person to get the anti-virus and actually survive, even if it is just for one more film.

God I love LJ though. Great character, brings the right type of comedy to the film.

Woow he killed the doctor, didn't see that coming.

The Nemi/Alice fight is also unrealistic. And I know this is a zombie film. Nemi would've snapped her spine like a twig, lets be honest.

Bla bla bla, they fight. Nemi remembers he was Matt. Alice realises that too. Nemi kills bad guys.

Cain (Main bad guy who's accent is a mix of German, French and English somehow) hides in the helicopter, and rages at the pilot, who isn't the pilot and is actually LJ, and they create the best part of this entire movie.

Cain: Why haven't we taken off?!

LJ: Cause I usually drive a Cadillac. :D

Then Alice evades a whole ass other Helicopter machine gun, and takes out three guards, and is saved once again by Nemesis, who is literally crushed by the tame helicopter he blew up for Alice. Talk about unfortunate.

Alice is hit by debris, and instead of picking her up and carrying her to the helicopter, they crowd round her and wait for her to wake up.

Then they throw Cain out the back, where he breaks his ankle as seemingly every zombie in the vicinity approaches, and he somehow uses every bullet he has on them and when he goes to, you know, paint the tiles with his head, he has none left.

AAAnd just when you think it's all over, when the nuke hits, the turbulence from the explosion causes some random piece of metal to fly at Angie, and of course, Alice is the shield. She dies, the plane goes down, and somehow the rest of the group survived.

Oh wow, more scientists, Alice is in a test cube thing, fully healed, and she has powers? Wow. How the fuck has her hair got longer? Nobody knows.

Dr. Isaacs being condescending, creepy, and very punchable rn.

Wow Alice downs them all except Isaacs.

Where the fuck is everyone?

First proper show of powers. Alice's creepy stare at a camera kills the guard on duty.

Oh, there's the rest of the workers.

And somehow they get away with this. Isaacs shit his pants so hard that he actually let them go.

oOOooOoh 'Project Alice', cool. Well thought of. Advanced. Great name.

And it ends.

God I love these films but they hurt my logical ADHD brain so goddamn much.

I think I'm just gonna keep doing shitposts about films and that. Let people know what I think. They can skip the post if they want.