#theyre purely there for spite and the bit

[nonuggetshere]

I'm gonna continue with the requests later, but I also felt the need to doodle my two PVs with a little bit of gender on the side

They're both still very much genderless, but because not every non-binary/agender person will have the same perception/feelings regarding their gender and won't have the same gender presentation, I decided to mess around with it a little

Hallow is genderfluidv(though after some consideration I realised agenderflux describes them more accurately, but oh well, these labels don't even exist in their story so who cares), they're non-binary but their alignment fluctuates between fem-leaning, masc-leaning, something in-between and neither. They're fine with any terms and pronouns but mostly go by they/them.

Luna is genderfae/transfem, their gender fluctuates between agender and fem-aligned non-binary. They mostly go by they/them and gender-neutral and feminine terms, they're fine with she/her and some neopronouns, but any masculine terms and pronouns are a big no-no for them. Currently, I'm considering making them an enby lesbian, but that might change in the future.

[jadedsundragon]

God would disown you

Glad that guy's not my god. He sounds like a real jerk.

[quinnonimp]

We Watch the Clouds & Stars: an OriginsSMP TNTduo Comic ☁️💫 | Anecdote: Awake or Alive [part 1/?]

content warning: discussion of death and afterlife

read left to right

NEXT

hello !!!!!!!!! im back on the grid again and with a bang, here to deliver a comic ive been working on since september ! its gonna be pretty messy, inconsistent, and just purely me having fun . therell be a lot of things ive thought through thoroughly, and therell be some things i forgot to even existed ! all in all this is a comic about a character whos been gone for a year and one that doesnt even exist, so its all built from me being silly

there will be sensitive topics discussed or depicted ! those will have a warning placed beforehand for each update, even though many of these things are meant to be up to interpretation or implied . some anecdotes ive written have been quite heavy though, so if i end up finishing them, listen to the content warnings

this will be a non-linear story, so instead of chapters i have named them anecdotes . they will be moreso bits and pieces of my o!quackity and o!wilbur's lives, specifically of them together, so some parts will be before or after others . some parts will reference each other, or foreshadow, but u likely wont need to read the anecdotes in any specific order

^ and so, because of this, the dynamics of wwtc&s!tntduo will change and will be inconsistent, just as what happens with real people if u look into random pockets of their life . some anecdotes theyll be more comfortable with each other, some theyll be more spiteful, some theyll be more awkward, etc. especially since oquackity has no character and owilbur is underdeveloped

this comic is a lot about change but also keeping familiarity in said change, which is totally not just an excuse for my inconsistent ass nope nuh-nuh. this time its actually relevant to the characters !!!!

and YEAH . i am doing all this just bc cc!quackity mentioned in the 2021 wine stream that he was in the originssmp discord and wanted to actually play but never did . im still mad abt it so ive decided to just make shit up now 👍

by the way !!!!!!!!! the big wings wilbur has on the cover r actually not canon anymore . Lol . i drew that before i had a more concrete idea of the comic and its concepts, but i really didnt feel like editing it (the tail is also missing), so i kept it cause idrc FDKDFKJ

i may draw him with wings again sometime just bc i really like it, but for the sake of story - know that theyre not canon, and that his cloak compensates for his lack of wings

there is likely more for me to explain, but rn im all over the place so i dont really remember what ! the next part will probs be up tomorrow or so, im not sure . really hope u guys enjoy

[wulfhalls]

Before now I kind of accepted the chances of ghoulcy being explicitly canon were slim but I was ok with that…. but NOW I actually want it to become canon purely out of spite lmao like…. I can survive off fics and pure imagination but with that, i could FEAST

I want them to be canon because I think they have a deeply compelling dynamic that has astronomical amounts of potential and also theyre very hot...... but yeah also a lil bit of spite as well yeah okay that too

[hotchs-big-hands]

medieval au!!!!!

youre a princess whose been of marriageable age for several years now and your parents have stopped enabling you and demanded you marry and pick out a handful of suitors and demand you choose one and you know theyre hoping you choose spencer, a genius philosopher whose advice has never lead to wrongdoing, or derek, a handsome knight who has led the kingdoms armys through several successful battles, because they consider them "better" so purely to spite them you choose aaron, the widowed duke of a neighboring city whose alliance to your kingdom is very important.

so you choose aaron but make it clear you're marrying out of duty to your family and not for love so he shouldnt expect anything from you and he just agrees and youre shook because he doesnt even seem surprised?? and hes like "i already have a son for an heir so you dont have to bear me children or even consummate the marriage if you dont want to" and youre like ??? why are you here you really dont seem like you even want to get married?? so he tells you that his advisors have been pushing him to remarry since the year his wife died and that he knows he cant run his city alone anymore plus his son deserves to have a mother figure and you guys make an agreement to marry and that youll do your duty to the throne and care for his son and in return he leaves you to youre own devices and doesnt control youre every move like your parents do.

so you go back to his city with him to stay with him during your "courting period" and you bond so quickly with jack because hes so sweet and precious and you fall in love frfr with that kid and aaron is soooo relieved because he didnt think any woman would want to marry someone so much older than them and have to raise another womans child. and you learn quickly about how the city is run and the ins and outs of what your responsibilities as the dutchess of the city will be. and as you slowly spend more time with aaron the two of you start to fall in love organically.

and its funny because by the time your wedding actually takes place you kind of cant wait to be married and to be able to have aaron and jack by your side forever. and you definitely do end up consummating the marriage. very passionately. (perks of marrying an experienced man is that he knows how to make a lady scream) and your parents are still shocked that you're actually willingly marrying a man. but they stop complaining about your choice in marriage when you welcome yours and aarons precious baby girl 💖

Omg I love this !! He would be such a sweetheart 😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 this would be such a good series for someone to write I gotta say KSKSSKSKS

um I don't wanna be annoying but the last bit :( it does go against one of my rules, no pregnancy stuff I'm sorry 😭

[raspberry-vinaigrette]

yknow what what the heck. this fic is gonna take me a while to make so im posting the basic jist of the soulsplit au here. maybe ill make an ask blog for it when i have proper refs or something... most of this is copy and pasted off my doc for the au

takes place right after the DSaF2 pure evil end, when blackjack asks why you’re doing what you’re doing – i envision this occurs because blackjack drags jack into the void and is like Hey what the fuck man

jack, currently being spurred on by henry and barely lucid, says he’s chasing henry’s legacy

blackjack, instead of abandoning jack, decides he’s going to interfere before anything can get worse and tries to put jack down for good

the ensuing struggle between the two of them eventually leads to the fabric of blackjack splitting into two – the logic that insists it should basically stay out of things and the emotions that are full of hate and a bit of love and spite and regret and anger and everything

the split parts of jack’s soul wake up in reality, with neutral end jack in the DSaF2 pizzeria as it’s about to be shut down and legacy jack still in vegas with dave

meanwhile good end jack is trapped in the flipside and takes on a bit of a more fucked up “void plagued” appearance.

for legacy jack: he wakes up in vegas with henry in his head and feels remarkably hollow. he kind of... doesn't know what to do with himself when he doesn't have somewhere to put all his upset and rage and he can't Kill right now. he also feels empty and thinks he can't feel things because of this and starts depending on henry to feel "for" him which eventually comes to a head when jack believes he can't properly care for dave

because blackjack saw the fazbunker, legacy jack knows about it, and he bails during the last night at vegas because he remembers seeing a certain bear suit down there that could let henry breach into the mortal world. tl;dr jack lets himself get springlocked by the jacktrap suit which kicks out his half of the soul, henry takes over jack's body, and the half of jack's soul that was in legacy jack's body possesses the jacktrap suit. theyre in some weird co-body situation. when they return to vegas dave freaks the fuck out and bails, which only leads to legacy jack depending more on henry

meanwhile neutral end jack follows the standard DSaF3 plot course of making a new fazbender's after he gets his bearings, hoping to block out the buzzing in his head about the promise with work. this both unintentionally baits jacktrap over, which has its own issues, and leads to neutral end jack accidentally dredging up a happiest day machine that good end jack can speak through. it keeps coming back to the restaurant, even when neutral end jack throws it out. it always comes back.

neutral end jack starts going by "blackjack" fueled by his belief that he's the most reasonable part of the soul but also as an alias to distance himself from the other two. this doesn't work very well

and speaking of good ending jack -- he's stuck in the flipside and can go in and out of the void and the flipside layers with assistance from the happiest day arcade machine. otherwise though hes just stuck down in the void. he's basically trying to find ways to commune with the two halves of his soul so they can gel back together and jack can get back out of the flipside and hopefully fix things.

in the background, dave has the worst time ever

[prism-empurress]

you want xehanort lore? here is my best attempt based on what i know. i havent beaten the game where time travel got involved so this is uh. before things got too bad

so xehanort was a keyblade master who was training this kid ventus. then one day he felt a bit silly and wanted to restart a war for science so he stabbed a child to split his heart into two halves (ventus, pure light, and vanitas, pure dark) and then gave ventus (actively dying because of having his heart you know. ripped in half) to his old pal eraqus to deal with and kept vanitas. his GOAL was that vanitas and ventus would eventually fight and somehow form this old weapon called the x-blade (not to be confused with the keyblade despite being pronounced the same) because something something it forms when equal light and dark powers clash i think? idk. anyways i literally have no clue what happened at the end of bbs because i wasnt paying attention but iirc that plan only semi worked and ventus ended up in a fucking coma for 10 years. in the meantime i think xehanort was uh. i feel like his goal was immortality but i could be mixing him up with william afton. anyways he norted a boy. that boy was terra. basically he just possessed him. so theres terranort now. then aqua i think beat him up then dropped him off in radiant garden before going to the void

terranort then took a quick detour to get a phd in unethical science with notoriously totally definitely not the worst character ever ansem the wise. he learned about how to release peoples hearts and then uh. idr how this happened exactly BUT HE DID IT TO HIMSELF AND MAYBE CONVINCED ANSEM TW's OTHER APPRENTICES TO DO IT TOO????? anyways so oops! he now has split himself in half. not the same way he split ventus in half though he split himself in half in like a normal way, aka into a heartless and a nobody

tldr explanation for heartless and nobodies, heartless are peoples hearts that have succumbed to darkness and nobodies are the body they leave behind. if you have a strong will, your nobody is basically just a kinda funky copy of yourself without a heart. also if you choose to succumb to darkness instead of being overtaken by it, then you remain sentient as a heartless <-(this is also why sora was a very polite heartless, since he released his own heart). xehanort filled both of those conditions, so his heartless was ansem seeker of darkness and his nobody was xemnas. neither of them are ansem in any way shape or form and i genuinely cannot remember if there was a reason for him naming himself after ansem besides spite.

anyways. xemnas goes on to form a cult of nobodies with the other 5 apprentices that lost their hearts and a handful of other people he found. meanwhile, ansem sod is hanging out on the island sora and riku live on and is being weird to children. riku is feeling a bit silly and also jealous that his crush doesnt need him and so he accidentally destroys his home and starts hanging out with the demons. ansem sod decides that it would be really funny to possess this kid and so he tells riku that the darkness holds the secrets to free robux if he just succumbs to it. unfortunately no free robux awaits riku and ansem sod norts his second boy. its fine though, sora got exorcised him and then killed him with the power of friendship.

meanwhile, xemnas' cult is thriving. until it isnt. sora killed like half their members then tripped and fell so hard that he got amnesia and now hes in a coma while namine tries to fix him. theyve recruited soras nobody, this weird quiet kid named roxas, to go kill a bunch of heartless with the goal of completing kingdom hearts. what is kingdom hearts? great question im not sure. its like this big heart moon / the heart of all worlds? idk its where hearts go when theyre not heartless. xemnas tells his cult that completing kingdom hearts will give them all back their hearts and so they all are going along with it because they want their hearts back. except roxas who doesnt really care about this whole humanity thing but hes being bribed to stay with ice cream. but soon not even ice cream is enough to get him to stay. roxas decides to go out and find himself (literally!) and then immediately gets kidnapped by riku who is sad that his boyfriend is in a coma and snatched roxas to bring back to ansemtw so they could wake sora up. roxas then dies tragically. goodbye roxas!

sora then goes on to kill pretty much the rest of their members (except for axel who kills himself) and then tells xemnas to go die and then he and riku kill him with the power of... friendship........ totally just friendship

and then i stopped paying attention! hope this helps :>>

holy fucking shit, you really went above and beyond for this and I really must thank you more than just typing "thank you" here. THIS IS SO CRAZY!!! I'm fucking cackling over the robux bit too, that was brilliantly placed. I know NOTHING of kingdom hearts, but now I know...this guy! kinda! Again thank you, holy shit, I hope you have a wonderful rest of the day!

[stinkysarai]

idk why but i feel like the funniest and also most annoying thing i see with atla characters is like. how theyre pushed into a VERY small box and mostly known for/ characterized with like. a certain aspect of them.

tell me why i constantly see ‘mom friend katara shes so momcore motherly’ posts. like yeah i guess so but shes more than just a motherly person guys!! shes a teenage girl with anger and rage and a very very strong passion for justice! shes a teenage girl who was forced to mature and clearly dislikes the motherly part of herself!!! cmon guys shed be so upset if she was only known for being a ‘mother hen’ or something!!

aang. poor aang literally hes either a 'pacifist saint scared of confrontation and has no guts' or an 'evildoer thats the founder of frowntown' or some shit. did we watch the same show?? i mean i was a little sleep deprived when i watched it yeah but i dont think aang was the true villain of atla… i think that was ozai? just a guess ? (sarcastic) idk. i just think its crazy that this little fella is usually seen in such a bad light

sokka. my boy sokka brah see hes like. hes a strange thing. i feel like there could be a buzzfeed quiz of Which Sokka Are You? and the options are buff stupid ass himbo that gets girls , annoying male manipulator/manchild that hurts women, mean big brother thats only ever sarcastic and annoying and cynical and NEVER shows any emotion other than hatefulness, spite, and jealousy, or sunshine happy funny guy that aspires to be a comedian and never has any emotions or personality other than butt of the joke/ jokester. and even then those are like. BROAD options. i could get so much more specific but like. i wont because im lazy. it just. it peeves me a little bit but to be fair i am the same type of person to go YOU DONT GET MY FAVE LIKE I DO even though i am bad at overanalyzing characters. sokkas my fave so i might just be spewing nothin but pure ass takes (dont criticize me ill cry)

toph. AUGHHHH IT GETS ME SO MAD!! why is she a mean ass no tolerance no respect girl!! why is it thay most of the time they make her out to be some girl that is mean to others because ‘its funny!!1!1!’ and will never listen and also hates everyone and is unnecessarily violent. THAT or they make her out to some ‘i’m secretly really sweet and nice and kindheartedmaxxed but i hide myself with ANGER and violence and rebellion…’ type of person that acts like a tsundere in extreme comedy animes. like giys please why are there two extremes that neither of which are good!!

dont get me started on zuko because once i start i wont stop . WHY WHY WHY!!!! i scream to the midnight sky as raindrops down my despaired face… WHY is it that hes either a small, shy, vulnerable sack of twigs who cant defend himself and needs his alpha sigma buff boyfriend(s) to defend him at all times or a buff ass strong extremely mean jerk thats also ‘a bad boy with a big heart’ that smirks 25/8 and is sad all the time and in his feels. guys like… WHY?? HES NOT .. GUYS olease. Please please please

pisses me off man! but to be fair i am VERY particular about a lot of thijgs and like. no shame / hate truly. im just a fella who cant shut up, living my life happy go lucky and filled with love and hate. if this offends you PLEASE DONT HURT ME im just a feller!!! a person in this big big world!! twas just a rant!

[mom0cat]

Ive had this au cooking in the back of my mind for a while and i wanna ramble about it

Undertale au, everything in game stays the same, but when they get to the surface theres just straight up more monsters

The idea is that the monster kingdom that got sealed away, the Dreemurr Kingdom, was only one and there were actually still monsters p much everywhere else on earth, tho the Dreemurr Kingdom was rather isolated from other monsters and only had contact with humans, so characters like Asgore, Toriel, and Gerson wouldnt actually know about the other monsters esp since this works under the assumption that catty and bratty werent exaggerating when they said itd been a millenia, putting the barrier formation in 1100 AD in my timeline

The Ebott barrier is considered myth by most by the time its broken, thus the reason nobody came and broke it despite monsters and mages being relatively common sights on the surface. Mt Ebott is a national park tho, despite the barrier being considered myth, its considered historically and culturally significant land. Similar to Yellowstone there is housing within the park, its mostly for employees, but theres a handful of non-employees living in the small park town as well.

The mountain gets its reputation not from park visitors going missing, but kids of park employees, so theres a decent amount of rangers stations (esp on paths up the mountain) thatre active long after closing hours, to make sure no dumb teens or drunk people get up the mountain unsupervised, but also to keep an especially close eye out for any local kids

The Ebott area still doesnt have many monsters or mages. The place gives off bad magic vibes bc of the barrier, which presumably took human souls to be as strong as it is. But theres a few living and working there.

Out of pure spite ive decided to make skeletons an incredibly average type of monster, they dont fall into like, top 5 most common monsters, but theyre also not uncommon, theyre just vibin (keeping the font names tho, theyre neat)

Underground monsters look significantly different from surface monsters! Some, like animal based monsters, arent changed too much, and non-humanoid monsters exist still, but 1000 years of intermingling monster and human blood means monsters tend to look a bit more human, and humans tend to be a bit more monster. Characters like grillby, the skeleton bros, undyne, muffet, will have more "animalistic" features than their canon looks, i want there to be a visible divide between surface monsters and underground monsters other than surface monster souls being different

Eventually ill get around to writing or drawing the first contact between underground ambassador Papyrus (and his assistant ambassador Frisk) and a group of rangers they meet on their way down the mountain, its eventful to say the least.

[violasmirabiles]

Firstly, when you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) <3

uhhhhhhh

i write good

i sing good

i mean i think im hilarious and thats all that matters here innit

(ive been thinking about these for two hours this is kind of embarrassing lol)

(though i do have to underline its not so much a case of cant find anything likable about myself as it is a case of i tried to think and all the thoughts went poof. head empty. who am i and what have i ever done)

(and also i have the brain no can focus disorder)

(ANYWAY)

in spite of all the panicky vent posts i post on here when things are hectic chaotic difficult i can usually project an air of false calm. to the point where ive been told this eases other peoples nerves. you guys cant see it cos i use my tumblr to scream into the void but trust me on this. things have a habit of working out. sometimes in weird ways. sometimes all you can do is sit back and watch. maybe write a list. under the surface ill still be panicking but also im tired im tiredddd. itll work out one way or another (pleasepleaseplease). some might call this basic adulthood because nobody else knows what theyre doing ever either and yeah thats true but also do you understand im the silliest clown god assigns his stupidest battles to

purely grasping at straws. head empty. im sorry this is silly and also my brains trying to pull a Well Now Im Not Doing It at the you have to in the question lmao

i make good playlists sometimes. or who am i kidding of course i think every single one of them slaps who cares that they all have the same songs but a bit to the left and or that barely any are like In Order or anything. theyre good and my music taste is objectively perfect <3

[beaniebabs]

Heyy here to tell yous abt my sunflora gijinka:3

To start off with. Sanii as a young kid was incredibly weak and because of that he learned at an early age, that if you weren't strong enough to fend off for yourself you would be killed. But all he could rly do in those moments was run away or hide, getting to a point where he couldn't FIND the will or reason to keep going. He was just tired and knowing day after day he'd just have to exhaust himself trying to avoid danger, he didn't want to keep living like that so death sounded like a much easier option.

It got worse when he stumbled upon the activities of team plasma, and not wanting their secrets to get out, they started tracking the kid down. If it weren't for someone stepping in and saving him he would have just given up and let himself be killed in hopes maybe the next life things would turn out better for him.

After he was saved there was a period in his life where he was able to relax a bit, he hadn't healed quite yet but he was finally able to live a life that wasn't just running until you got exhausted. Unfortunately it wouldn't last forever because realizing this person who saved him was actually becoming important to him, his fears once again returned- that something would come for him and this time he would be putting someone else in danger. So without a word he left that night in hopes this would at least keep that person safe.

From them on he had a new goal, not motivated by any real desire to live, but out of pure spite towards the world and how it betrayed him, seemingly going out of it's way to make him miserable at every turn. Throughout his life he'd dedicate his being to enacting his revenge on this cruel world, hurting others as if it could ever take away even a fraction of the pain he felt. He never got stronger bc he wanted to, but bc he grew up in a world that seemed to despise him and forced him to adapt to it's cruelties, becoming just as cold and uncaring </33

When he traveled with his team at first he still held a strong distrust,, he'd only ever used other ppl for his own needs and goals and never putting any real faith in them, then leaving after he'd got what he wanted. Initially he thought this time would be no different, but eventually he does grow to trust and care for the rest of the team- learning that maybe there is more to life than hatred and chasing after revenge.

It seems he learned this too late though, as his years of betrayal finally caught up to him and an old enemy comes back to haunt him. Knowing once again that this time, he'll be putting those he cares about in danger- he runs away so the others won't suffer the consequences of his mistakes. Luckily it doesn't work this time when the people he's running away from in order to protect drags him back. One lady in particular being VERY very insistent that he should stay and that it would be worth fighting off anyone if it meant they could be together and that he'd be happy. Really normal bestie things (Theyr in love) anyways that's all for now I'll explain more some other time.....so be prepared 😈

YIPPEE SANII LORE JOIN THE SANII GANG OR ELSE ‼️‼️‼️‼️ He Is Not A Villain He Is Just So Scared And Hurt And Angry And Confused . Little Meow Meow Prrr Mrrp . the 🥺💖

[cielospeaks]

it would be just. pure and utter fanservice. but

aime getting taros-style possessed by different allegrofaces in the unnamed crossover thing, and kinda being out of sorts the whole time (the focus is on kind of “lost souls finding their way home” which. to be fair is literally every one of my aus/stories/etc. but this ones focusing on being able to work through trauma to be able to live a somewhat fulfilling life in specific)

which under cut bc it can get rambly. i think is uh. lacking. in a lot of media at least thats been popular recently. ok ill say it im salty at f h and its consumer fans for acting like trauma is just something that can be “erased”. like (x character) being literally murdered by their parental figure but hey theyre wearing colorful clothing that means they have no depression now, or (y character) being tortured so hard that her “heart” went away and was basically a weapon, only to regain a slight bit of happiness after being spared by two people and befriended by another, but haha now lets make her act ooc and speak in full sentences and the fandom acts like “lol she has no depression now” its not that fucking simple you assholes.

anyways i think the whole main cast are both reflections of canon characters that have trauma and also their own thing, i noticed when writing up the bios. kr vel is very sal energy, like sal he’s partly a spiteful, violent person and partly someone who accepted responsibility and was the better person in a hard situation, and because of this merging he doesnt like to accept praise as being for him, since he attributes it to his “better half” but now theyre the same person. idk its hard to explain. i think its a bit fantastical but it is relatable i think to some extent to me personally. tbh i think its a feeling that anyone whos ever been objectified for like. one talent or skill and then hated once they showed other sides of themselves can feel. you like. have trust issues of whether people are being kind to you because they only know that side or whatever.

for laurie, shes similar to ai, she lost someone she was extremely close to (in laurie’s case her rival) and feels a lot of survivor guilt plus a feeling of wanting to sacrifice herself, but she tries to maintain a giving and optimistic personality on top of this. like she still thinks shed be better off dead/erased and still feels immensely guilty abt what happened to her rival.

for the allegros i think its a mixed bag. this was the only option for them that lead to all of them surviving, but its not the best. i mostly wanted ana to tell off someone or tell off the sort of trope at least, bc i feel like ana would tell off a divinity that tries to use people for selfish reasons, but would also tell off equally so any humans that claimed to be liberators and heroes when they actually just wanted to usurp said divinity in manipulating others. ana is a good boy. best boy. i also think ana possessing aime and doing a saisho kara saisho made climax daze would be hilarious (he instantly gets the copyright bonk w laurie)

tuley is more of a mentor to these idiots (affectionate). she can see theyre going through a lot and can sympathize but she also needs them to get their shit together also.

[teecupangel]

Tags from @noficbyhalves

#yesssss there's more #altaïr is peak 'engineering student who primarily eats baked potatoes bc theyre low-effort and nutrient-dense' #and i love that for him #the swearing about herbs is a mood and a half #desmond 'none of my ancestors really know how to garden but i am making this herb garden out of petty spite anyway' miles #tho i think the comments will be disappointed in desmond's chicago pizza reaction #since ezio predates the introduction of the tomato by a decent amount#there wouldn't really be the righteous fury they're looking for #at least not from ezio lol. desmond the new yorker however...

Altaïr would definitely eat baked potato if he was a college student. And while it’s baking, he’ll return to his studies and would forget that it existed until he hears the ding. He does add lots of spices and herbs to it because he doesn’t like bland food.

Desmond would argue that Ezio had a vineyard when he retired so he does have ‘information’ on how to garden.

Shaun would counter that, considering Ezio’s rich, he probably hired workers to work the vineyard.

Desmond’s offended expression and tone looks and sounds Italian when he heard that.

From @mysticalbasementwitch

Wait did that commenter imply that there is a theory out there in which Desmond is possessed by his ancestors ghost which honestly is not wholly inaccurate if you think about it

It’s a running joke in the ‘series’ that when Desmond’s accent changes and/or he starts speaking a different language, it’s the ghost of his ancestor possessing him from beyond the graves because they are disappointed with the ingredients available to Desmond. Many also believe it’s a bit Desmond does to get more ‘engagement’ and stuff. No one really believes that he’s truly possessed… maybe?

From @fromashesweriseuphiddenones

It's funny. A friend of mine and I did a role play where Desmond and Leonardo Da Vinci had a YouTube channel. There was one time Desmond made acholic drinks and Leo would paint after having some

While Leonardo is not in this idea as it’s purely modern day Assassins shenanigans, Shaun could definitely be the guinea pig of the channel’s miniseries “Historical Cocktails with Desmond and Shaun”. And instead of painting, Shaun has to talk about a specific historical event that Rebecca randomly picks from Wikipedia after Shaun has drank enough to be counted as ‘wasted’. This is like… the more less destructive version of Shaun drinking the alcoholic beverages from AC Syndicate.

From @zero-saito

The comment section of Desmond’s video are so many suggestions! What if some cooking channel invites him for a collab and he just rages from something not being right.

Oooohhhh, just imagine him and Max Miller having a collab and Desmond is being his charming self, maybe a bit of flirting here and there and then-

Bam!

Max Miller starts the history part of the video and Desmond interjects with anecdotes that sounded too personal for some reason. The fact that he’s talking with an accent is not helping at all.

Another collab I think would be funny would be if it’s Desmond and his British ancestor (who rarely ‘appears’ and they only know it’s him because Desmond gets a posh’er British accent than Shaun that is absolutely polite even when he’s talking shit about what he’s making and the ingredients he is forced to use) versus DougDoug and Napoleon AI.

DougDoug is cooking based on the setup from his AI Guy Fieri video but Napoleon Bonaparte AI as his 'partner'. Desmond is cooking as normal but he has to do it in the same kitchen as DougDoug.

Twitch chat calls this the “Hundred Minutes’ War” (it is more than a hundred minutes VOD lol)

Haytham takes over 5 minutes into the video because, dear god, it’s chaos and Desmond is enjoying it too much that he needs to take over, less they lose to an AI version of Napoleon Bonaparte who is as chaotic as he was in the cheating AI chess match videos.

so i have this idea in a Desmond lives au after the solar flare he starts a channel like tasting history with max miller in which he recreates historical dishes that his ancestors used to make with Shaun and Rebecca appearing by tasting what he makes

(The video starts with a man addressing the video in a beautiful clean kitchen)

“So this isn’t my usual content but I’ve got a lot of requests to do a reaction video on this youtube channel called ‘I Am Not My Ancestors’ where he recreates recipes he got from his ancestors. At least, that’s what he claims. A lot of you asked me to check if his recipes are what a household from that time period would make and I asked Desmond, he’s the owner of I’m Not My Ancestor channel if he’s alright with me reacting to them and I received his permission.”

“I’d like to make it clear that he has no hand in any of my reactions. This will be the first time I’m watching the videos I’d be reacting to and there’s no script, we didn’t talk about what I should say or what I shouldn’t say. I can even show you guys his actual reply to my email.”

(The video cuts to some kind of recorder, most probably a phone camera, aimed at the screen of a monitor showing an opened email)

Subject: Re: Requesting permissions to react to your videos

Sender: Desmond M iamnotmyancestor@yahoo.com

yeah go ahead man.

(The video returns to the man in the kitchen)

“So with his permission… let’s check out some of his videos, shall we?”

(The video changed. On the lower left corner is the same man, now wearing earbuds. The rest of the video appears to be a screen recording of the Youtube Channel ‘I Am Not My Ancestors’. The mouse clicks on the Cooking Playlist and clicks a video titled “What an Assassin from 12th Century That Can’t Cook Cooks”)

(The video changes to a normal looking kitchen with a young man. A prominent scar mars his lips and his eyes seemed to glow gold at certain angles although it looked mostly light brown)

“So… I’ve been focusing on Renaissance Italy food for a while now and I thought I’d branch out and make something my other ancestors made. Then I remembered my ancestor from 12th century Syria doesn’t know how to cook.” The man said as he placed his hands on the counter, “But, well, let’s try it anyway.”

(The video continues with the man listening down all the ingredients he’d be using to make what he calls ‘road food’)

(The video is paused and the man on the lower left begins to speak)

“Okay, so this is one of his latest videos and I just want to talk about all the ingredients he’s using for this… ‘road food’. All of these can be bought in Syria and I’ve seen all of them used in different dishes in historical cook books. The more important part is that all of these? Can be found in the wilds during those time and I believe that he’ll tell us that these ingredients are used because they don’t cost any money, only time and a discerning eye. Let’s see if I’m right.”

(The video plays once more)

“You can also change any of the things I listed to whatever wild plants to find on your way. Normally, if your mission takes you to a place that’s more than a day ride away-”

“By horse.” Someone off camera added.

“Yeah, by horse. Thanks, Becs. Anyway, if it’s more than a day ride away, what you usually do is stay in a nearby bureau- hm? Oh, right. A bureau is what the Assassins call their… mini headquarters in other places. So they have their headquarters in Masyaf, Alamut and Ḥalab and they have bureaus on other places as well.”

(The video paused and the man on the lower left speaks once more)

“While I can’t verify his claims, the Nizaris of which the Assassins are from did have strongholds in Masyaf, Alamut and this Ḥalab is more known as Aleppo to many of us. Anyway, let’s continue.”

(The video is played once more)

“But sometimes, you go to a far away place and the supplies they give you is lacking because Al Mualim is a stingy old man who’ll tell you that ‘an Assassin must triumph over’ this kind of bullshit so you learn to live off eating game and grass-”

(The video is paused and the man on the lower left commented)

“I believe this Al Mualim he speaks of is Rashid al-Din Sinan, known as the Old Man of the Mountain. From the way he speaks, it’s either he knows Rashid himself. Or, of course, he has a journal of his ancestor who has certain words to describe Rashid. I’m sure it’s the latter.”

(The video plays once more)

“So this is what Al-”

“Your ancestor.”

(The man on the lower left tilts his head but does not pause the video)

“My ancestor would make during those ‘tiring’ times.”

(The video continues as the man starts to cook, starting from preparing a small game and then… throwing it and all the other ingredients in a pot. The man on the lower left stared at him with an open mouth.)

“Yeah, that’s it. Just wait until the meat is cooked. While you wait, you should patrol the area, check your map, write on your journal… the usual stuff.”

(The video transitions to the same place but the man is now on his phone, seemingly tapping on the screen.)

“Desmond… isn’t it cooked yet?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah. I told you guys this is the easiest shit my ancestors can cook. This is also the only thing Alta-”

“Your ancestor.”

“My ancestor can’t fucked up. Anyway, let’s have Shaun try it out.”

(As the man grabs a bowl and pours the soup in it, a man with glasses stepped to the frame with arms crossed)

“Guys, say hello to Shaun, our resident taste tester and the actual historian in our little group.”

“I’ve been tasting everything you make for these videos. They already know who I am.”

“Yeah, yeah, just taste this.”

(The man with glasses took the bowl and blew his spoon before taking a mouthful. He chewed for a moment before nodding.)

“It’s okay.”

“You're British, of course you think the lack of flavor is okay.”

“Hey.”

“Anyway, the main point of this dish is to sustain us. Good food will always be welcomed but what we need is the nutrients and energy food gives us. After we get to the bureau, we’ll have some actual good food.”

(The video pauses and changes to only show the man in the beautiful kitchen)

“Okay, so let’s talk about the recipe itself…”

(The video continues as the man list down all the ingredients and where they have appeared in historical books, referencing other recipes similar to the recipe that the video used)

“I think I should watch more videos, maybe one of his Renaissance Italy videos because it seems like this ancestor of his is quite… the ‘frugal’ and practical kind. Let me know in the comments which videos you’d like me to watch nex-

(The video stops and the laptop closes)

“Desmond, he called Altaïr frugal and practical.”

“Not because he wanted to. What do you think he did when he was traveling with Maria? That man tried out every food he saw.”

(is this in the same universe as #Da Vinci's secret lover Not-Salai? Maybe? Maybe not? idk)

[siilkmoth]

hi my names nixe and i want you all to know that i love this canonically agender vocaloid

(free to use with or without credit)

[kaijuno]

Jewish anon: (You don't have to answer if you don't want to. No pressure. This is mostly just for you)

The garbage I've had to put up with I feel has me more bold in how I talk to people like that. When I was younger I'd throw hands and I'm still proud that I did. But now that I'm older it's interesting to remind them how privileged they are to have so much family still alive when so much of mine is ash. To look them straight in the eye and say "when your grandfather is the only member of his entire family left alive, don't expect sympathy from me". They're not used to having the roles reversed and it makes them angry and uncomfortable, because theyre supposed to be the ones with the power, not me. Well tough shit, Mary, that's been my entire life and I'm not going to be gentle just because you're sensitive and have never had anyone curse you the way you cursed me.

So I know you've been having a hard time recently, and I hope this can help you even just a little bit: Live. Even if it's just out of spite like me. Live. Someone out there might not want you to still be here, so live your best life purely to shove it in their face and say, "Fuck you. May my mere existence bring you misery and your misery shall bring me joy." Zol er krenken un gedenken, let him suffer and remember. Vi tsu derleb ikh im shoyn tsu bagrobn, I should outlive him long enough to bury him.

So for you, Kaijuno, live well. Live spitefully if need be, and don't feel sorry about it. You shine too bright to suddenly go dark 💖

“it's interesting to remind them how privileged they are to have so much family still alive when so much of mine is ash” is such a powerful line to me

And yes I’ve been having a rough time but it humbled me knowing it could be so much worse. Thank you for sharing your story.

I felt a similar way coming out to my dad. He’s your typical old fashioned grandpa type and because I came off to him so stubborn he just. Accepted me. As I was. He hangs a pride flag in his dining room to this day because I’m stubborn like him and wouldn’t take no for an answer

[glassamphibians]

alright random nico headcannons bc i’m bored:

• he once broke into a museum to try and animate a dinosaur skeleton only to find out the display ones are mostly made of plaster and uhhh that ends about as well as you can expect

• rachel makes him summon skeletons when she needs anatomy references

• he doesn’t do a lot of art himself but he absolutely adores every form of it. like the hades cabin is full of books and he doesnt understand spotify so he has tons of vynls and he lets hazel draw on the bunks and walls and his arms and he and rachel can talk for hours about art history and!!!! he just appreciates art so much

• speaking of music nico will listen to anything literally any genre EXCEPT country (which is really just bc he doesnt click with it but he loudly speaks against it just to piss Will off)

• he’s not like Strictly vegetarian but he avoids eating meat if he can bc it just tastes like death to him

• he’s really akward around younger kids bc he’s worried he’s gonna say or do something thats gonna mess up the kid forever but when he does talk to them he treats them like adults and they love him for it

• sometimes he tells absolutely wild stories with a straight face just to see if he can get away with it (he can) and now camp has no idea what stories about him are true and which aren’t

• like he went “yeah i was born in 1932” and they all went “haha very funny” but then believed him when he said he’s seen bigfoot

• sally jackson invited him over for christmas the december after boo and he very admantly refused but sally kept insisting and long story short now he has a key to their apartment and she knows all his favorite desserts

• he lied about not liking animals he really fucking likes animals guys he just said that to make himself feel better about the fact that they don’t like him back

• HE IS A POLYGLOT THIS IS BASICALLY CANNON he already knew like four languages just by existing the way he does but then jules albert showed up so he took up french and then he felt bad about the language barriers at camp w/ international campers so he started learning all of their languages and then asl looked interesting so he started learning that and then the TROGS so on and so forth and now he knows random bits and pieces of different languages

• also linguistics nerd nico ??? classics nerd nico??? history nerd nico??? absolutely yes he may not be able to do basic algebra but he can and will rant about obsure historical events or og goth mary shelly if you’re willing to listen

• Mr. D originally didn’t call Nico the right name but Nico is living on pure spite so he pointedly ignored him every single time until D eventually caved (but theyre both stubborn as fuck so this lasted MONTHS and honestly if nico and mr d hadn’t started Therapy Breakfast Time it probably would have never ended)

• he still checks in on May Castellen every few months or so to make sure she’s doing alright (percy comes with sometimes)

anyway thats all folks !! sit on that last one!!