#theyre consuming my brain girl help !!!

[neolxzr]

hey theyre happy in at least one universe (the one that exists in my brain)

[mothlau]

Hello ! I hope you're having a good day! I was wondering, what's your favourite leztappen dynamique?

hi anon!! hope youre having a good day too:] so im not really sure if you mean the butch/femme, dom/sub, dumbass/more dumbass in terms of dynamic so i shall rant ig

so, as youve probably seen i am quite fond of butch!max/femme!charles. for "canon compliant", personally, i see max as a butch but i think it did take her a while to accept that part of her identity. she's always been a tomboy which resulted in her feeling rather isolated (something charles also had to deal with, but were gonna talk about that in a sec). she was too boy-ish to play with the girls, too much of a girl for the boys to respect her, so this basically resulted in her fully rejecting her femininity growing up, instead preferring to be as masculine as possible (horrible haircut, baggy clothes, unsafe binding later on). buuuut, that doesn't mean she was ok with being a butch lesbian, ohhh, nono, she rejected the thought of liking girls for as long as possible (her sex drive is already small, too uncomfortable with her own body, so its not like she had much to lose by not acting on the little crushes she had growing up). besides!! she liked some guys! sure, she was never into the idea of kissing them or being with them, but she tolerated their presence! so like, that totallllly means shes straight; shes just a tomboy. masc girls can still like guys... right? wrong!

in comes the girliest girl to ever girl, charles ofc, who rocks her world. they hate each other, as it is normal for lestappen, and max cant understand why charles chooses to act like a girl when no one will respect her in the sport, when they'll always make fun of her and call her weak. charles helps her understand her complicated feelings towards her femininity (but no homo yet) (she is also dealing internalised homophobia and has an even worse case of comphet). id like to think they still manage to fall in the butch/femme dynamic rather quickly, even when theyre both unaware thats a thing.

one thing leads to another, max realises she likes women first, she realises shes in love w charles (oh, /oh/) and charles follows soon enough.

i realised that this doesnt really answer your question anon:/ but the thoughts have already been thought out loud so you get the mess either way.

also, i honestly dont care in the end which one of them is a butch, which one is a femme, if theyre both one or the other, if theyre gnc or just lesbians who dont want to define themselves with any sort of identity but the fact that they are attracted to women. ill consume (and write) whichever because any lesbian rep is good, especially when we know how limited femslash tends to be in fandom spaces.

so yeah, i probably have more non linear thoughts in my smooth brain so if you have anything else you want to know shoot:]

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

OHHH I MEANT TO REPLY TO THIS A LOT SOONER FRIEND BUT GOSH. also like i think what you said is soooo true, and now with discovering my love for reading again is such a healing experience because finally its something i can enjoy freely on my own without judgment or academic need.

I more so have a fondness of audiobooks because I think it just fits my style of comprehension. Sometimes its hard for me to focus at times, especially when theirs noise. I enjoy reading but I just havent got the time anymore to just sit for hours on end. My dad called it a skill, like some kind of muscle that you can train to do again which seems... odd... I think its probably something more like adhd. Anyway, its quite easier to consume books that way because I'm able to do things in the background that help me focus better. (I do not know why, but when I am physically doing something it helps my brain comprehend things easier. Its almost like it gives more stimulation to things.). So when I'm working, I'm listening to a book! It just works for me! Ideally I want to get back into physical books but I just have so many hobbies and stuff I want to do so its hard for me to figure out my footing so I'm trying to make it super easy to do the things I love that I can't possibly not do them.

(I call it outsmarting myself in a way. Sometimes I get exhausted over the thought of doing a big task so I procrastinate it even if its "fun" so I'm making it so ridiculously easy to read that I can't NOT read.)

ALSO- for me personally ive found that theyre really super immersive, and you just feel IN the story more. Soothing too. I like audiobooks.

I definitely can understand that too!! I love a good description and prose. It just has this way of sucking me in listening to a bunch of good detail and worldbuilding. I understand the complexity part of things! And yes thats the correct word!! It does seem interesting. I dunno if I would read it. Mainly because I'm not super keen on horror (I get scared too easily pfft.). But I can understand why you had found it fascinating.

Oh!! I actually went and bought the book today physically with my dad :). Thats how much I adore it!! I just have not been able to stop thinking about it.

MUTUALS BTW DONT READ IF U DONT WANT SPOILERS!! SORRY BUT IK I DEMANDED A FEW OF YOU TO READ IT AUGH.

Its about this girl who moves to new york named August. shes bi, but she moves in with these three people. Niko, Wes, and Myla. She's there for college because she transferred. There's some mystery going on with her mother at the start because her mother is super engrossed in trying to track down her long lost brother (August's uncle). But before August left, she told her mother that she was DONE helping her find clues on him.

Basically on her first day of class she skins her knee and dumps coffee all over herself and somehooooow meets this woman on the subway. Her name is Jane!! And shes super pretty and August is immediately crushing so hard on her!!!!!!! Jane gives her this scarf to help and their exchanges continue after that. August tries to ask Jane out but its later revealed that shes trapped on the subway (gasp!!! oh no!!).

Jane's been trapped on the subway for almost 45 years and she doesn't really remember her life at all or even how she got there but August ends up helping her figure out what all happened.

Oh I'm not doing this enough justice at all because man I just... ughhh.

So they kiss yeah and its *totally* for science and helping Jane remember.

TURNS OUT- later on in the story she figures out Jane was a nickname she was given back in the 70s'. Her actual name's Biyu Su and she had ran away from her home at 18 out of feeling shame for being gay and (i forget what else??) But its literally like shes trapped on the subway between space and time. Shes not a ghost, but she's also not able to leave. She's connected to the subway itself. IM BEYOND SORRY BECAUSE ITS BEEN A WEEK BUT LIKE. i love august and her so much. I cant. I actually cant 😭. THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME.

im not even saying all of what happens, either. I just adore the characters and how everyone interacts with one another. I wanted to cry when I finished it. And now!! I own it!! Thats- how much I love it. It makes me want to write a story half as good as it. Its just got that energy that makes you want to smile. Idk I know its cheesy but I've been reading a lot of wlw romance books???

When I was younger I didn't have that available, especially after first coming out?? So like discovering all these lovestories makes me happy. Just love reading happy fluffy stories where everyone is happy in the end.

I could go on and on abt one last stop for HOURS friend but I'm a bit too out of steam to continue writing. But I appreciate your interest in asking me abt it. I absolutely love talking abt it.

I tried reading a new book but it got too scary so I stopped reading it. unfortunately the writing style was so good and I liked the setting so much I started reading it again (with the cost of not being able to be alone for the next week or so). I’m halfway through and god. I love. books

[imeverywoman420]

Honestly that makes sense bc I only really like dynamics with women so I’m like maybe they’re lesbionic. A lot to unravel though bc I haven’t watched Hannibal in many years. Watching season 2 now. How is Hannibal a woman/what’s he like when he’s in love? Will just tried to get that guy to kill Hannibal what do u think that did to Hannibal in his brain. Ignore if u want but I think u like to talk about this, I like ur thoughts on it as well bc u don’t have fandom brain but u still r having fun with Hannibal I believe while also taking it seriously

Ive been waiting fornmy vibe to be right to answer this question. Sorry i talk like jordan peterson when im passionate abt something and im on downers rn so this might not make as much sense as my stimulant addled schizoposting nornally does

My reasoning for hannibal being a woman lies in the way his attraction to will is presented. Its gay in the way that theyre both men. But hannibals attraction to will spiritually is very much womanly.

The whole “hes a sensitive psychopath” thing about hannibal…. His whole entire character arc is womanhood. Being forced by a group of nazi soldiers (ok i forgot if it was nazis or russian soldiers idk it was ww2 its not important) to EAT his sister. It very much gives “not like other girls” in the way that its easy to feel as an Othered woman that you simply are unworthy of love. Its deeper than not liking pink. It is separating yourself from the concepts of femininity in a jungian/energetic way not a gender way like love, softness, empathy etc. women early on are taught to consume love, that we cannot coexist with lovable people. Fighting and clinging for love we are not guaranteed. Unlike men, who are taught that love is just a consequence of being a good enough person.

Compare hannibal lecter to joe from you. Hannibals entire character arc is this push and pull. This testing of people in a very bpd female way. Never once is he outright aggressive. Hes passive aggressive, petty, dramatic, all in a very FEMININE way. Most casual viewers mistake this as run of the mill psycho moid behavior. This is not to say that femininity is indicative of womanhood, just pointing out that hannibals thought process and entire essence is really only understandable if you consider female socialization.

Hannibal lecter is the weird girl on the playground. He is the girl that collects the used condoms of her lovers and sorts them in boxes labelled by zodiac signs. He is the girl that googles “help am i a psychopath” while crying.

And god. The way he looks at will. Its so girlish. That is not a man that wants to fuck, that is a man that wants to be fucked. Mads impish charm rly seals the hannibal lecter is a woman theory. Like if hannibal lecter was a real person he would logically have to be a woman. Theres no way a man could ever be that complex and emotionally sensitive and violent at the same time.

Hannibal Lecter has more in common with jennifer check than norman bates. And im not just talking cannibalism.

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Alright, Period Cramps just set in and Im looking for songs anyway so Im gonna be listening to every RWBY Song (V1-V7) in chronological order and rank them, starting with the worst. Lets go!

Caffeine: Thank god the team with the Nazi-based leader has the shittiest song so far.

Celebrate: Why tf is this here

Shine: Ehhhh. I dont really know why but the vibes were all off, somehow. The fact that really dislike Jaune (and as an extension, Arkos) doesn't help either.

Forever Fall: This song was 5 minutes long and it felt like 20

Brand New Day: I barely even registered that

Fear: not the worst

Lets Get Real: Either Im too tired or the songs are getting worse

War: Im ranking this one higher because it wasnt over 4 minutes

Bmblb: All the love songs are so generic

Dream Come True: Im listening to all these songs in the form of Lyric Videos and the art used in this one made me think 'Oh, a Jaune Song... Great. Well, maybe we'll get Jaune pining after Phyrrah now! Yknow, to balance it out. A cute lil song of him pining for a nice girl might me like him a bit more!' and guess what. It wasnt that. It was another Arkos Song from Phyrrahs perspective. AND this one had unnecessary Girl-Hate towards Weiss! For no reason! The only reason its above Shine is because they atleast got the vibes right this time.

Not Fall In Love With You: I think Im just not a big fan of the love songs.

Boop: It was pretty cute but nothing to write home about

Until The End: slow piano

Touch The Sky: Its not that bad, its just that Im tired and this song is too goddamn long

This Time (From Shadows II): A just fine song for a shitty arc

I Burn: I liked fine, until they started rapping.

Like Morning Follows Night: I thought this was gonna be one of the better love songs, then he started rapping.

Smile: All this does is make me question how Ilia was in the wrong even more. Sounded alright though.

The Triumph: Eh, pretty unremarkable opening for an unremarkable volume

This Will Be The Day: A very promising start! There's honestly not much to say here

From Shadows: It was fine. I liked the overall sound but the lyrics and the singing are just a bit too edgy for me.

Bad Luck Charm: Someone in the comments under the lyrics video said "looks like someone found his middleschool poetry" and honestly, yeah.

I May Fall: Hey, yknow how the FoB was apparently meant to happen in Volume 1? Yeah. Overall, I thought it was pretty alright. (You can probably already tell that Im not too big of a fan of the louder, more energetic songs so far.....

Trust Love: This is by no means a problem I have with only this song, but I hate how theyre all like "oh this isnt some FaIrYtAlE kid, this is real n dark n shit" as if RWBY isnt the least dark and least subversive story Ive seen in recent time

Rising: Alright but unremarkable

Miracle: Another alright but unremarkable one. At this point I feel like listening to these songs is frying my brain

Ignite: I was just gonna say its an alright Yang Song but that rap...

Big Metal Shoe: I can appreciate some fairy tale references

Gold: The chorus got a bit repetitive but I thought it was pretty cute

Home: Another cute lil family song! This one was kinda long though

Lionized: I really appreciate the vibe of this song

All Our Days: Adorable! I didnt really expect a Taiyang Song but this was pretty nice

Sacrifice: Not really much go say about this one, I thought it was fine

Neon: I feel like I just got aggressively flexed on in the nicest, yet most condescending way possible

Lusus Naturae: Very edgy, but in a way that I can appreciate more

Red Like Roses I: I really like the sound of this one! I kinda wish we had more lyrics, but this was the song used in the Red Trailer so Im assuming it was made to compliment the action more than anything. At the start and end there was this series of notes, that Im assuming is gonna be the Leitmotiv? Either way, Im curious how theyll use it

All Things Must Die: I feel like this song is definitely at its best during the slower bits

Lets Just Live: First of all, I cant believe they live-laugh-loved us. They kept mentioning like, stories and how 'this isnt your TYPICAL fairytale', I could practically feel the writers being like "Huh, huuuuuuuh? Arent we CLEVER? Yes we are, yes we are!" But other than it was mostly fine. A bit long, maybe.

Armed And Ready: Pretty alright Yang Song, I felt like it was just a bit too long

It's My Turn: Not much to say, I thought it was a fine Weiss Song

Nevermore: I think its good

Wings: I really enjoyed this song! Caseys voice is lovely and I think its a very good Blake Song

Indomitable: I liked this one, but I feel like its mainly because the line "the spirit is indomitable" reminds of Flame from VRAINS

When It Falls: This song is trying very hard to convince you that RWBY is Dark Now. And given that Im pretty sure this is V3s opening, I guess it fits. Oh well, it still sounded pretty nice.

One Thing: A real slappin song thats going straight to my YGO-playlist as well

All That Matters: Very neat song about Yang's conflicting feelings on Blake's return. Shame theyre literally not conveyed at all in the show.

Die: Very agressive title, but okay. I also enjoyed this one, who wouldve guessed. I love this whole vibe of Desperate Heroism In A World In Ruin, yknow? Its there in Time To Say Goodbye and Red Like Roses II (two of my favourite songs so far) too. Though it is quite dissapointing that the show never really matched it.

Hero: I dont get how people can look at this and go "yeah, Ironwood was clearly always a tyrant who never even remotely cared for others". Also Caleb Hyles my beloved

Time To Say Goodbye: Another very nice song! I also think the foreshadowing in the third verse (yknow the slow one) was quite well done. The only real issue is, that the plot point its foreshadowing is stupid as hell

The Path To Isolation: Why is Weiss a better character in her songs?

Divide: This song is trying very hard to convince you that RWBY is Dark Now pt 2. It is a banger though, so its fine.

Mirror Mirror: Funfact: This was technically the first RWBY-Thing Ive ever consumed! A Youtuber named Strawbelly made a german cover of this song (and the songs from the other trailers, I believe) and it was one of my favourites for a while. Ive also already listened to some of Weiss' other songs and I remember enjoying them too. I can definitely already tell that I prefer Caseys voice in the slower songs, so I really hope this keeps up

This Life Is Mine: Yoooooooooo, Caseys voice was amazing in this one(especially at the very start)! This is one of the Weiss Songs I listened to before I even watched RWBY and what can I say, I loved it back then and I love it now

I'm The One: Oh, this was absolutely lovely. For the first few seconds I thought I wouldnt like this one, but its a banger! I love the lyrics too, theyre very clever I think

Red Like Roses II: DUDE, I adored this! I did not expect there to be lyrics for Summer at all and I was so pleasently surprised! Sandra's voice was lovely, and I really hope I'll get to hear her again. But on a slightly more negative note, I feel like this is really where the whole 'RWBYs Songs Characterize The Protagonists In A More Compelling Way Than The Show Does'-Problem starts.

I originally wanted to write some kind of conclusion but Im tired and wanna read angst fics. Have a good night!

[fatphrodite]

you’re not an advice blog or anything but i just like the vibe you give off so maybe you’ll understand my problem? i’m a fat girl who feels like i’m not “correctly” fat, you know? like, my face is fat and my hands are chubby and our bodies are similar but you’re just a million times more beautiful than i am. do you ever feel that way, or do you know what i mean? my body just naturally IS this way and i don’t know how to feel better about it.

I wish I could respond to asks like this with something obvious and concise that could fit on a bumper sticker, but I feel compelled to touch on the weird messy tangled super tangential psychology which results in these kind of feelings, maybe in an attempt to help people who feel this way also get to the root causes and deconstruct them. I want to be thorough and wholly understood, and candid about my own experience! but i’ll spare mobile users by putting everything under a cut.

i rarely feel the sensation of seeing someone who looks like me, thinking theyre beautiful, while thinking i am not, anymore, and that has a lot to do with rewiring my brain over the years. instead i see someone who looks like me and I think theyre hot then my brain’s response is “if (theyreHot) {me=Hot;}" BEEP BOOP

I do still sometimes feel “incorrectly” fat because...…. im covered in old stretchmarks, my boobs sag, my belly sags, even my arms sag, im riddled with cellulite, my face is chubby and I have a double chin. the feeling of being “incorrectly” fat is absolutely the result of a definite beauty standard even in spaces that have an alternative ideal to our overall society’s beauty standard. we’ve all been poisoned aight, standards are being reinforced everywhere, like even the actual chunky/fat plus size models, who aren't just straight-sized models with padding, don't have double chins. even though youd be hard pressed to find an average person their size without one. popular plus sized Instagram models have the “acceptable” amount of cellulite, do NOT have fat faces, tend to be the “acceptable” hour glass shape naturally and/or get liposuction to be “idealized plus size” in the body and in the face. so how do you accept your body when youre unconsciously consuming constant reinforcement that it has “flaws” and have consumed that reinforcement for decades?

I think the answer is going to vary from person to person, and for me it varies even moment to moment. There are moments where the only way to cease those thoughts is remembering that this vessel DOES NOT EXIST for visual consumption, it DOES EXIST for piloting me thru Disney world + experiencing the tastiest of foods, and as long as I can do that, nothing else matters. which is you know, objectively true,  but I also do very much have a strong desire to FEEL pretty, to FEEL acceptable, to FIT IN THE BEAUTY STANDARD, because of so many years of being punched down and made to feel inherently ugly/unacceptable. It’s hard to feel pretty and accepted not only because mainstream society sees your body as inherently ugly, but also you simultaneously feel like youre not even ideal in the realm where youre “supposed” to be ideal (such as fat admiration communities). 

So these are the things which continue to help me accept myself, my perceived “flaws”, and feel good about myself -- 

 : focusing on surrounding myself with imagery of beautiful fat people who share the traits that fall outside of the existing plus size beauty standard. I intentionally avoid reblogging too many irl plus sized people with thin faces, super perky rounded fat, smooth hourglass shapes, minimal cellulite, flat tummies, because I don't want to reinforce those toxic ideals for my followers OR my own subconscious. as a side note, I also enjoy makeup and makeup videos and I gravitate towards makeup youtubers with rounder faces and plus sized bodies, like smokey glow and rawbeautykristi, like damn i can be glamorous with a beat face AND have a double chin! it also helps that theyre both entertaining AF to watch and listen to.  

 : involving myself in an FA/fat positive community. whether that's posting pictures of myself or dating or otherwise engaging with people in the community. as ive said before you should not hinge self esteem on other peoples opinions of you, but when you believe you as a whole or some trait you have is inherently ugly or unacceptable, having verifiable proof to the contrary, in the form of other peoples opinions, can aid in rewiring your brain to think more positively about yourself. I personally can assure everytime *I* see a double chin or chubby hands (among several other specific traits) it makes my heart flutter because of the cuteness. no matter what shape, fat distribution, whatever your vessel exists in, there are hundreds and thousands of people who will genuinely, wholeheartedly remind you how lovely it is, and many more out there who look like you who want to be able to see themselves represented as a figure of beauty (if that at all makes sense). Parts of me that were once difficult to accept or I used to overly-criticize have become either things that no longer even cross my mind or things that are specifically viewed as attractive/positive traits because of community involvement. and on that note, straight up I would never date like, a normie, and by that I mean someone who doesn't love fat bodies. special, positive, loving attention towards the parts you've been conditioned to think are wrong or conditioned to be ashamed of, is healing. I could not be with someone who liked/was attracted to me despite my body.

 : therapy. this solution may not apply to you at ALL or you may not realize that it applies to you. it depends on the degree to which you struggle with self image. you might not even know you have something like body dysmorphic disorder (which will cause things like hyperfocus on perceived traits) or you might not realize youre committing self harm (mentally bullying yourself, scrolling through Instagram/social media to torture yourself, starving yourself/overexercise, obsessive mirror checking and self-criticizing, among other behavior). the things ive already said can also aid you in stopping these types of self harm (personal experience: unfollowing/blocking any social media that i used to torture myself, fat positive/FA communities helped me to stop exercising myself to death, wg/eating kinks helped with eating disorders) and i know there are quite a few other people who have healed from doing similar things. 

something specific id like to note about my experience with therapy and the concept of self acceptance. a piece of advice given out by a LOT of fat bloggers to aid self confidence is “fake it til you make it” right. and that's also like, a version of a real thing I learned in real therapy. shutting out negative thoughts and replacing them with a contrary, positive mantra until your brain rewires, until you believe it. its a tool you can use in accepting the parts you struggle to accept, and beyond the neutral implication of that, glorifying them. the human brain has an interesting reaction to repetition. the more you repeat something the more you believe it. whether that's something negative or something positive. its a lesson to keep in mind even if therapy isn't something you want or need. 

[trashanddrivel]

recently ive had my brain consumed by the idea of a polybellas au where the girls are the authority (can you tell im a gay comic book nerd) so imma just brainfart this out a bit:

beca is the spirit of the 20th century. every 100 years a girl is born who embodies the century to come. beca was born in london (kendrick with an english accent dear god imagine it) in 1900 and she is living electricity. she hasnt been succeeded by the spirit of the 21st century for a reason she doesnt know. shes spent most of the last 120 years traveling the world listening to all the music she can until one day she meets emily and decides its time to actually get involved with humanity maybe.

emily is the doctor. for as long as humanity has lived there has been a doctor - a magical physician whos role is to treat humanity as a whole. emily has only recently been chosen as the doctor and shes still getting used to her new role and the fact that every single previous holder of her title lives in her head. she meets beca and they discover that they are not, as they had both thought, the only people in the world with superpowers. they decide to get together and see if they can find anyone else like them.

stacie is the engineer. a technological genius, she redesigns her body with alien nanotechnology that she stole from the government. suddenly finding herself hunted by those in power, she is saved from her situation by emily and beca who tell her that theres a war coming and theyre the only ones on the side of the common people. everything stacies done has been for the people and shes being asked for help by 2 very attractive people so shes in.

chloe is apollo. a military experiment to create a superhuman soldier, chloe can use solar energy to fuel her enhanced strength and speed, as well as flight and laser vision. an almost-literal sun goddess, chloe has been in a relationship with aubrey for some time.

aubrey is the midnighter. produced by the same programme as chloe, she is an enhanced fighter capable of taking down whole crowds armed with nothing but her fists. shes a hardass, but has a soft spot for her girlfriend chloe.

chloe and aubrey hear about stacie from one of the sources they still have in the military. following the trail, they make themselves known to beca and her burgeoning team who invite the couple to join them.

they are the authority and their mission is to keep those with power in line. they are also very much in love and are super soft for each other.

this is super rough and very much hasnt fully formed in my brain but i wanted to get down what i have so far.

[bluinary]

Not to vent, but I'm so tired. I joined tumblr when I was 13 because I thought it'd be a really cool place to be in my interests, and some posts were super funny, and it educated me about social issues no one else talks about. It's how I came to terms with liking girls, and it made me proud to be black, and it helped me understand so much about my mental health.

But since being here, I've lived through countless instances where Tumblr overglorifies a show/person/franchise/etc, and then, like, a year later, puts together some (kinda far reaching) facts, and jumps to the conclusion that that thing/person is evil and can't be enjoyed or else you're a bad person. From more gritty stuff like snk to kids shows like Steven Universe to just normal ass people like John Mulaney, it feels like people are constantly trying to find a reason to demonize whatever is trending, and I'm sick of it.

Now, I totally believe certain things are evil. Pedophilia, r*pe, Nazism, xenophobia (and yeah, I'm looking at the japanese/korean brand of xenophobia too), racism, biphobia-- the list is endless. And as a rhetoric major, I do believe that the media we consume is crucial to the ideas we develop and pass around. But the fact is, nothing is black and white. And moreover, educating the masses on facts-- not conclusions-- should be the goal when it comes to shady stuff (like snk's allusions to WW II themes. Im glad I know about them. Not so happy to be villainized into an apologist for liking the show.). Trying to enforce your personal opinion through fear-mongering and threat of harassment is wrong. It's wrong! That's not a critical mindset, that's cult mentality.

So please. Enjoy what you enjoy, and use your brains. If it's promoting themes of something harmful, don't watch it. Try to keep it from getting popularized by presenting FACTS before jumping to clickbaity conclusions and spreading those 'like wildfire'. And for the love of god, dont take some tumblr user's word as a cold, irrefutable fact!! I dont give a shit if they're funny while saying it, or if they say 'and THAT'S the tea!' while ending the post, think about what theyre telling you, and fact-check and think for yourself before you spread the word.

Moreover, this life is short, guys. Battling injustice is fighting the good fight, but so is enjoying yourself, and lifting up others. You can't truly control what others watch or enjoy, no matter how fucked up it may be. So just....lead a decent fucking life, and think for yourself, and hope your influence might put some misguided folks back on track. In my experience, that's so much more effective than spreading hate.

[morganbelarus]

I Got High With Ricki Lake and Talked About Pediatric Cancer

AUSTIN, Texas Its Monday night and Im smoking a joint with Ricki Lake. Well, Im smoking. She is occasionally pulling on her mini PAX Era vaporizer, which she lets me try as well.

Im a one-to-one kind of girl, she tells me, referring to the one-to-one ratio of THC to CBD oil that many aficionados swear by. When she does smoke or eat edibles, she says, I can get paranoid, I can get quiet, I dont know, its unpredictable with me. I dont like feeling stoned, I like feeling a little elevated.

The former daytime talk show host refers to the cannabis oil in the device as medicine. That makes sense if you have seen the new documentary she produced, which just had a triumphant and emotionally charged premiere at the South by Southwest festival last weekend. Weed the People, directed by filmmaker Abby Epstein, sounds like it might be a stoner movie; it is anything but.

Lakes first major documentary feature since 2008s The Business of Being Born chronicles the efforts of several families who are using cannabis oil to treat their childrens terminal cancers. The film makes a very convincing case that, used in conjunction with chemotherapy, high-dose treatments of the concentrated cannabinoid compound can actually shrink and even eliminate tumors.

My husband seduced me with edibles, Lake tells me. Weed the People is dedicated to her ex-husband Christian Evans, who is also credited as a producer. Evans struggled with bipolar disorder and committed suicide last February. This film would not have happened if it werent for my husband, she says.

In 2011, Lake decided to appear as a candidate on Dancing with the Stars. Among the fans who tuned in each week to see her strut her stuff on stage was a little girl suffering from a genetic disease called Neurofibromatosis 1. Her mother reached out to Lake on Twitter and asked for help.

For some crazy reason, Christian and I moved them into our house for six weeks to try to find alternative treatments for her, Lake told the SXSW audience during a Q&A after the films premiere Sunday morning. My husband had been researching CBD long before Sanjay Gupta was talking about it and we went on this journey together.

As soon as she told her friend Abby Epstein, who had directed The Business of Being Born, Epstein told her, This is our next movie.

Because marijuana is still classified as a Schedule 1 drug at the national level, very little research has been done on the potential tumor-shrinking properties of cannabis oil. A gut-punch comes late in the movie when the filmmakers remind the audience that these restrictions are only getting tighter under Attorney General and notorious marijuana foe Jeff Sessions.

Its a travesty, Lake says. But you cant argue with these results with these children. As more and more states legalized medical and recreational marijuana, the filmmakers began to think their moment for a movie like this had passed. But when Trump got elected and installed Sessions, they realized it was more timely than ever.

I do think these movies have a power to them, Lake says. She has witnessed that power in the 10 years since The Business of Being Born was released. Over that time, she says, the home birth rate has doubled and the c-section rate has flatlined for the first time in decades. Lake credits both of those trends to her film.

The film also pushes back against the argument that marijuana damages the developing brain, with some researchers claiming it can lead to slightly lower IQ levels later in life when someone starts consuming it before about 15 years old. But as one mother of a very sick child says in the film, even if that is the case, its a small price to pay.

We wanted to focus on kids because it kind of gets rid of the stigma, Lake says. Its not like theyre using it to get high. Thats not the case, these are babies.

When I ask Lake if she thinks these ambitious documentaries are in some way a response to the type of often exploitive daytime television she engaged in for most of the 1990s, she says she views it more as a redemption.

Im actually really proud of the show I did, she says. But that was not my voice. My name was on the rug, and I was very authentic, but even though I was named as a producer, I didnt really take part in the subject matter. These movies are much more me. Next up, shes planning to produce a film that examines the potentially harmful effects of birth control on womens bodies.

Looking around the backyard of friends, collaborators and journalists, Lake says, Its safe to say I was a tad bit on the fence about the idea of gathering people together for a weed party during SXSW.

But I guess its an honor to say I got high with Ricki Lake, she jokes. It sure beats doing a talk show.

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