#theyre also easier to navigate i find

[drakyns]

new (and probably temporary) mobile header is up! also, i made a carrd while i gather the energy(tm) to make graphics for a proper website later, lmao. my pinned was also updated to link things more easily. i will spend most of my following days working on comms, but i might reblog some prompts in the meantime, too! mwahs your cheeks. let hiccup take your muse on a dragon ride.

[webslingingslasher]

I AM LOVING THESE FRAT PEOER FICS, ESPECIALLY THE TEXTS THEYRE SO FUNNY, i was wondering if i could request frat peter having to save his girl from being hit on and followed by a guy (just happened to me)/ how he would react to it

ayyyyy yuhhhh, this is jumbles but i really didn't wanna seperate these parts. pls enjoy peter being daddy and doing a protec, also a lil sprinkle of spider-man

Peter’s room was pitch black. 

When you first started sleeping over, he got you a nightlight so you could navigate to the bathroom easier and you’d gotten used to the small gold it cast on the wall. Some nights when you tossed and turned you’d find yourself looking over Peter’s face as he slept, the soft glow highlighting just enough of his features. 

He hadn’t turned it on for you, but then again it wasn’t night when you fell asleep. It took you a moment to gather your surroundings, you don’t remember falling asleep and you’re not sure how long you’ve been out. You could hear music from the floor below you, it was muffled enough it wouldn’t’ve woken you. 

You smack your lips, you have cotton mouth from hell. Searching Peter’s bedside you find less than a half full bottle of water and down it. Blinking awake you sit up, you feel bleary and unwelcoming to a party but you could really use a Peter hug right now. Maybe you could swoon him into ditching his party for cuddles and a movie. 

Reaching for your phone, which had somehow landed under your pillow, you peer at the time and your eyes widen. You’d been asleep for almost six hours, you almost felt bad, you’d come over to hang out with Peter and ended up passing out in his bed. 

‘awake and alive, come see me? :)’ 

After two minutes, ‘petey?’ 

Another three pass, ‘don’t make me come find you :(( i just want a hug.’

‘i promise you can go back to the party after.’

After five minutes of being left on delivered you sigh and drop your phone to the sheets while you stretch. You turn the bedside lamp on and stand, you look down at your outfit and decide against changing back into your clothes, you’d only go down for a minute or two. 

Unprepared for everything you knew was happening, you unlock his door and step out into the bright hallway in only Peter’s frat shirt and workout shorts that were so short they were hidden under the hem of his shirt. Your feet dug into the plush carpet, you could feel how soft it was under your socks. 

You feel dizzy walking down the stairs, the music gets gradually louder until you can't hear your own thoughts, you look into the kitchen as you stepped carefully and were unsuccessful in your first attempt. When you reached the landing you rubbed an eye and yawned, you almost turned back around. 

The next place was the garage, dodging bodies as you moved through the enclosed space you held your breath when you walked through a smoke cloud. Peter wasn’t in the room, but his best friend was. You didn’t want to ruin his hang out, he was sandwiched between two girls while he shared a backwood, a hookah on the table in front of them. 

“She lives,” he smiles when you approach, he’s made the first contact so you don’t feel as bad. 

“I don’t even remember falling asleep,” you look down at your socks and bounce on your toes. 

You watch Ethan take a hit of his backwood and you eye the smoke before he reaches his hand out, “you’re drooling,” you take it and inhale deeply, blowing it out and go to pass it before taking one more hit and handing it to the girl on his right. 

“Do you know where Peter is?” 

“Uh, no. Somewhere. Wanna hang here for a sec?” He takes a puff and hands it back to you, you cough hard on a deep hit. 

“Nah, I’ll go find him, thanks though.” You nod and bow to the girls, “goodnight, ladies,” they return the sentiment. You turn back around, bumping shoulders with a stranger on your way out, you shoot an apologetic smile and slide past. 

Bracing against the wall connecting to the kitchen you look at your phone again, with no new text you frown deeply and sigh. You’re so focused on finding a white cap you don’t see the body slide next to yours, when they speak you don’t notice they’re talking to you until they say it louder. 

“You look comfortable,” your eyes flash down, you were. 

“I am,” you swivel your neck around. 

“It’s cute,” at last you look at him, he’s blonde and one front tooth is longer than the other. It’s charming on him, he has at least ten bracelets on and black fingernail polish. He’s a little interesting, you think he’s hitting on you but you give him the benefit of the doubt. 

“Thank you, can you tell I wasn’t prepared for a party?” You give him a small spin, and he whistles. 

“Prettiest girl here,” you curtsy and smile politely, “that’s very kind of you.” You go back to scanning the crowd, you see a flash of navy and poke up to see the figure better, it wasn’t him. Your face drops to a frown and you sigh, the new follower leans closer. 

“Looking for someone?” 

He is hitting on you, you commended his confidence. He’s playing with fire, flirting with you at Peter’s house. You’re wearing a branded shirt, isn’t it obvious you’re with someone in it? It’s a heather gray with blood red detailing, you couldn’t miss it. 

“Parker, have you seen him?” 

Blonde shakes his head, it’s not long or curly or brown like Peter’s, it makes you look away. 

“Nah, I’ll keep you company though. I’m Connor, nice to meet you.” You eye his hand, you don’t want to shake it, you want to find Peter. In an effort to be polite you shake it and introduce yourself, he says it’s a beautiful name and you want to roll your eyes. 

“What’s a nice girl like you doing involved with Parker? He’s a dick, you know.” 

But he’s not. He can come off as abrasive but never, ever to you. With you he’s gentle and soft, he’s giggly and cuddly, he even uses baby talk sometimes, and he loves when you play with his hair. Peter’s not a mean guy by nature, but if he doesn’t know you or like you, he won’t pretend to be your best friend. 

“He’s not at all, actually. You must not know him well enough.” 

“I know him enough to know he’s a shit bag to girls, you’d be no exception.” 

“Do you think that line earned you any points with me?” 

Conner grins, “tell me, are you wearing pants under that? I hope not.” You immediately slide away from him, you frantically search for Peter in the crowd. When you can’t find him you try to find a familiar face, you know you have Ethan in the other room. 

“That’s… not an appropriate thing to say to me. Pet- Parker will have you banned.” 

His eyebrow quirks, “and he’s the good guy?” 

Your eyes narrow, “he doesn’t sexually harass me.” 

Conner scoffs, “you call that sexual harassment? If you want to cry wolf at least let me make it worth it.” You swallow harshly, you don’t like how it’s turning. You pull from the wall to go back to the garage, but Conner’s hand catches your wrist and tugs you back to him, it’s tight and you try to shake him off. 

His smile looks less charming and more intimidating, “c’mon, don’t run away now. We just started having fun.” You tug your arm back harder, he tightens his hold and you wince. Hissing through your teeth you bend your knees, leaning into his grip. 

“Please stop, you’re hurting me.” 

“But then you’ll run away, and I’m just having so much fun.” 

You blink back tears, it’s not about his tight touch it’s about being scared. 

“I’m not. I’m seeing someone, I’m sorry.” Maybe if you’re gentle he won’t be as aggressive. 

“Really? I’m not seeing him… Maybe he’s with another cheap whore.” 

You see a blur pass by your face and suddenly a hand is wrapped tight around Conner’s shirt as his back and head are thrown against the wall. Your shoulder vibrates against the drywall, the sheer force of Conner’s entire body weight flinged into it.

“Get your fucking hands off her!” His body was pulled off the wall before he was thrown back, you wince as his head smacks off the wall, you look at the assaulter and stay silent. You’ve never seen Peter so livid. 

“Get your fucking hands off her or I swear to god I’ll knock you out right fucking now!” 

Your hand is dropped and you stagger several steps back, you want to pull Peter back but he’s a little too scary to stop at the moment. You’ve never seen him in a fit of range, and not that you think he would, but you didn’t know if he’d direct that on you. 

“I should fucking kill you right now, don’t you ever put your hands on her again. Don’t talk to her, don’t even look in her general fucking direction.” 

For someone who had a lot to say he’s real quiet now, you look away when his body is thrown back into the wall, you could imagine how sore and bruised he’d be the next day. 

“Get out of my fucking house, and if I ever see you here again you won’t be walking out, do you fucking understand me?” 

A timid nod, he shuffles off holding his ribs. You almost felt bad. 

Peter turns to you the second he’s out the door, he races to your side and cups your face. 

“My baby, are you okay?” You nod, when you blink you can see how upset he was. Eyebrows turned it, cheeks flushed. His eyes were glazed over and narrowed, all he saw was an enemy. But when he looked at you his features softened, hard eyes turned into soft puppy dog eyes. A small pout took over his clenched jaw, he looked as gentle as you always knew him to be.

“You were really upset.” 

Peter’s face falls, “did I scare you? I’m sorry, trouble. I just panicked when I saw him holding you like that and you looked like he was hurting you.” You rub at your wrist, “he did.” 

He holds your hand and looks it over, red marks that would bruise his fingerprints wrapped around your wrist. “I’m so so sorry, baby. I should’ve looked at my phone sooner.” 

You breathe deeply, “it’s not your fault he was a weirdo. I just wanted a hug.” Peter feels his heart melt. “I know, I know you did. C’mere, give me a cuddle.” 

You wrap your hands under his arms around his waist, your head tucks into his chest and you listen to the metronome of his heart. Peter’s strong hold is wrapped around your shoulders, he tugs you in even closer and rests his cheek on the top of your head. You sway against him for a moment, breaths matched, your chests rise and drop at the same time. 

When you pull away you’re brought back in by Peter, something he hasn’t done before, you do it all the time. He’s never had such an urgency to have you in his hold, keep you steady against him. Keep you hidden and protected in his hold. It dawns on you that Peter was just as scared as you were, it makes you give in and melt back into him. 

“Can we go upstairs?” You use your pout and his guilt to your advantage, almost immediately he presses a kiss to your forehead and tells you ‘anything you want, kid.’ Peter’s hand held yours tight all the way up the stairs, walking behind you, protecting you from any vantage point until you reached his door. 

You didn’t even pause before hopping a few steps to his bed and jumping into it, you waited for the gentle beratement but didn’t hear anything, you poked your neck up and watched Peter scratch at his now naked curls. 

Making grabby hands you give a yearning smile, you wanted Peter all to yourself and you got what you wanted. He abides the request and sits on the edge of the bed before kicking his shoes off and shimming out of his jeans. 

The second he lays down you glue yourself to his side, you happily adjust as he does, you haven't given him any time to get comfortable. The second he gives you the ‘fine, you can lay on me’ look you tug your left thigh over his hip and sling your left arm over his chest. Your right arm bends and pulls at his air. 

“You sure you’re alright?” 

Your cheek smashes into his navy shirt as you nod, the cotton ultra soft under your skin. You peek an eye up, it’s a Ralph Lauren, you can’t deny the amazing thread count. 

“I think you should give up on the physics major, you have a way better calling.” 

Peter’s right hand started dragging down your back, his fingers tickling up your spine and back up. A comforting movement, it kept you pulling forward, Peter doesn’t give you many back rubs. 

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” 

You hum and trace spirals over his ribcage,“ever thought of being a superhero? I think you’d be alright at it.” 

Peter snorts, the implausible irony doesn’t go past him. 

“Just alright? I can’t give up my day job for ‘just alright’ can I?” 

“Okay fine, you’d be like… I can’t compare you to Spider-Man cause he’s-” your mind derails, for a second Peter’s thankful, he’s never had the Spider-Man conversation with you and as far as he’s concerned, never will. Just mentioning the name makes him feel sticky with panic. 

You stop swirling and look up at him, thinking of telling him made you bite back a grin. “If I tell you something do you promise to keep it between you and me and never, ever repeat it again?” 

“Oh jeez.” The last time you said that it was something gross and girl related. 

“I… okay, um… maybe I shouldn’t tell you,” you can’t stop giggling.  You never said the words out loud, it wasn’t necessarily embarrassing but looking back on it, it was goofy and nerdy. Telling Peter would be a huge insight into your personality. 

“Well now you have to tell me,” seeing you so giggly made him want to be too. 

“Okay, so when I was like… I dunno, sixteen/seventeen maybe? I had a huge crush on Spider-Man.” Peter’s mouth twitches, you shake your head before he can make a joke. “Just wait, and I get that sounds creepy because we-” you gesture between yourself and Peter, “we have no idea who he is, right?” 

“Right,” even if he wants to bolt from the conversation he can’t deny it’s cute. 

“But in my world I was like, no he’s definitely my age and he’s gonna totally save me and we’re totally gonna fall in love and have some weird mutant spider-babies. Side question, do you think he was born that way? Like, are there spider people walking around we don’t know of? Could Spider-Man have regular babies? If he has a baby with a human, I mean. Do you ever think about that?” 

Yes. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever thought about reproducing with Spider-Man, so, no.” 

You’re not pleased with his lack of imagination, he could at least have fun with it. You raised a pointer finger, “we’ll circle back to this,” You continue with your story, “but, what I’m admitting to you, is my deepest, darkest secret, that I’ve never told anyone by the way!” 

You try to finish but pause and turn your head away to laugh before saying the words. 

“I used to read Spider-Man fanfiction. Like, everyday, all the time.” 

Peter’s heart lurches, it’s a downright adorable confession. Not to mention the odds of you being semi-right and things falling into place, he’s not a big universal sign guy but this is one that he might be swayed on. Cause he definitely was your age and he’s learned he can’t stop everything, it was a hard truth, but one good thing he couldn’t stop was Love. 

“Oh my god, me too!” You bat your hands at his chest, he was taking the piss.

“I told you my deepest darkest secret and that’s all I get!?” Peter grabs the hand you’re poking him with and intertwines it with his own,  “Alright, alright. I got one for you.” Your held tilts, he knows you’re saying ‘go on…’ 

 “I was fourteen with a dream, I had heard all about it from my friends and I needed one. I was ready for it, I had been preparing. How to ask for it, saving up the money, making sure the right guy was working that night. It took time and patience but I finally had it, right there in my hands.” 

A dramatic build up, it made you, metaphorically, sit on the edge of your seat. When Peter sees he’s got your attention he makes a ‘boom!’ sound effect. 

“My very first nudie mag,” you snort and he clicks his tongue, “not done yet.” 

“It was beautiful, and it was mine. I had a whole fucking book of spank bank material there, babe. This was the first time I’d ever looked at porn, and it felt like a right of passage so I’m on cloud nine. Obviously, I go straight home and the whole time I’m on the bus back I'm looking at everyone with this brown paper bag and feeling like I just got away with murder.” 

Peter laughs, “oh god, no one but my aunt May and now you know about this, okay?” 

You nod, you feel like the most special person in the house at the moment. 

“I waited hours, and finally, I’m home alone. Boom, go time. Shut and lock my door, set up the lotion and tissues, and pull that glorious brown paper bag from under my mattress. At this point I have a full on adrenaline boner, I am tugging down my pants at the speed of lighting, pull out that glossy, pristine magazine of the holy gods and open it.” 

Your smile matches the one on Peter’s face, “and it’s a guy, dick out and all. Not what I expected but cool, so I flip the page and there’s another, and another, and another and finally I’m no longer excited and I start flipping through the pages. I distinctly remember saying ‘where are the fucking girls?’ and after looking at, at least, eighteen penises, I realized it was a guy magazine, not a for guys magazine.” 

Yor smack a hand over your mouth at the sound that came out, he nods at your reaction like he expected it. “Yeah…” he drawed out the word and you cackled, “oh my god.” 

“Was there a guy on the cover?” 

“Yes! I had never seen one before and I thought that the guy meant it was for guys, not that it was full of guys!” 

“Man, I was so pissed. It cost me like thirty bucks too, cause the guy charged a tax for selling to minors. The worst part is I wasn’t sure how to get rid of it so I put it back where it was and my aunt found it like a year later and I had to have so many “you don't have to be ashamed of who you are” conversations, the whole time I’m like, rocking back and forth foaming at the mouth explaining the situation and begging her to believe me when I say I’m not gay.” 

You tug at his hair, “just so you know, you don’t have to be ashamed of who you are.” 

Peter groans, “that’s it, now you and May can never be in the same room.” 

“Yeah, right. Like you’d ever have us in the same room.” 

“Of course not, you’d team up and try and coax me out of my non-existent closet.” 

Nuzzling into him you both tease each other and more than a few times Peter finds his fingers rubbing across your ribs sending you digging into him further and further. Wheezing as you laugh and try to run away from his tickles he rolls over to trap you underneath him before kissing you. 

Peter lowered his voice, keeping it a secret, you gave him a deep, dark secret and he’ll give one back. 

“Just so you know, I’d do anything for you. I’d even let you be in the same room as my aunt.”

[applesjuice]

How will the reunion between Akari and Juliana go? Or Carmine?

So this is like, two years post Indigo Disk at this point. Carmine is about 19 here, and Juliana/Florian as being 17 and Kieran as 16 here.

Carmine travels for her job, she works with researchers as a sort if body guard against wild pokemon in dangerous areas they're studying. Pretty much what she did with Briar as a student. So she is out of the region when Akari gets reverse eebied back. They're staying with Drayden in Opelucid City, since Ingo is staying there too (and Emmet he's not going anywhere). After Carmine finally finds out what's up from Drayton she demands to facetime immediately to see Kieran.

Akari vaguely remembers her, their memories are sort of coming back. They just feel kind of seperared from them. Staring at the face of god kind of scrambles your brain.

So they initially reunite over facetime but it's not exactly a coherant conversation on Carmine's end. She's too busy bawling so Drayton winds up having to have a private conversation with her about the situation. After that she drops everything calls her grandparents to tell them whats up and then THAT'S it's own situation becauase poor grandma thought she was having a stroke when they heard the news.

When she gets back to Unova and finally sees Kieran in person she's bawling again and appologizing to them like Drayton did so Akari is finally like why does everyone keep apologizing to me? I dont get it. So then she's even more upset lol. But Akari really matured in Hisui and does kind of remember a big sister so there super happy someone they're related to actually wants them. (Akari went through a phase where their memories of indigo disk era had them thinking they were a terrible person and everyone back home was better off without them)

She also has a few of Kieran's pokemon on her like Furret and Hydrapple and they are very emotional seeing Kieran again. It takes her a few days because she's so overwhelmed but she eventually reaches out to Briar and the Protagonist to let them know Kieran's alive.

Im just gonna use Juliana in this to make it easier, but Juliana is shook. Like she's moved on with her life, mourned Kieran, still has nightmares about the incident. Kieran is the ghost that haunts her. So she's beside herself too and Carmine gives her time. She tells her friends who like, all vaguely know Kieran through osmosis since the whole thing kind of broke her, and they help her work through what she's feeling. Same with her mom, her mom keeps a picture of Kieran in their house even though she never knew them. But like the fact that this kid died and her own kid almost did too is pretty devastating to think about.

So Juliana facetimes Carmine and Carmine shows her Kieran (they don't talk yet, the whole situation is a lot for these two) and she starts crying too lol. She's like "do you think he'd want to talk to me?" And carmine is like "well, they've changed a lot but its more like. Theyre back to their old self just, more sure seeming? Also i honestly dont know if they remember you"

So its a whole shitshow essentially. Just a bunch of people navigating a difficult situation. Akari is kind of facinated by Juliana like "wowzers i was friends with someone so cool? I cant believe i was so mean to her i should appologize" and theyre like kieran i think sort of dying kind of negates that you're fine.

Then comes the big bomb that Akari has a SMART PHONE. That is the biggest change of all. Cannot believe you went to the past and came back with knowledge of memes.

Eventually the two talk and they're like pen pals for a while (through texting) while Kieran is healing and doing rehab for some injuries in Opelucid. Carmine is staying in an air bnb there to help out. Eventually Juliana gets the courage to come visit and when they meet she's half crying in joy half having a bi panic because Akari is very pretty.

The end

[limetameta]

Played the Last of Us when I was a kid and now I watched the show for the first time and I gotta tell you what this has spawned is a TLOU au in Fmab where Riza and Edward are Joel and Ellie. Al is dead. Blood seal broke trying to save Ed from the infected swarming them. Ed is immune because he did human transmutation. Actually in this au it isnt a fungal evolution type infection per se as much as its a bioalchemy experiment on fungi gone severely wrong so the only people immune are those who did human transmutation because it's fun, chimeras can get infected but it doesn't really spread like it does with humans so they have a longer time before they turn or maybe they need to get bit multiple times to turn. Homunculi ofc are immune because of the ph stone. Want to say that they use a gotcha system where if they get bit one of the souls in the ph stone croaks and not them. Absolutely same deal with Mr I swallow ph stones like a whore Kimblee who doesnt broadcast he has a ph stone so ppl think he's legit immune and they're hunting this mf down for a vaccine.

The author that brought you gnarly scenes such as anything in Black Honour also brings you a scene where Maes has to shoot baby Elicia because she got infected and went wild trying to kill Ed :D

Berthold Hawkeyes house is the best place to be. That man made a bunker decades before anyone thought smth like this might ever happen.

Riza and Ed run into many different folks on their way to figure out what the fuck is happening (this is like set in the 1st month since shit hit the fan so double the chaos - think trains getting derailed because of people going crazy and trying to eat each other - absolute pandemonoum purge type shenanigans where everything is new and the government is losing its grasp on the people)

Riza and Ed are trying to find Roy Mustang whom they only heard is somewhere up north east. Maybe in Central City (it hit it here first and hardest - overrun with infected)

They sent most of the State Alchemist to try and take care of this. But some like General Grand and Colonel Mustang got orders to take care of the infected and make sure it didnt spread - ie theyre the bombs in this au eyy it wasnt enough to do this shit in Ishval guess you need to do it again but in towns with ppl u genuinely know :D !! Horrific shit. Reason why Riza isnt with Mustang and doesnt know where he is.

Radios are down and they need to reastablish some towers that were knocked down.

(Fort Briggs for example in this au would be 0 infected because they kill the infected imediatelly sucks to be u but they are preserving their numbers and they too are in a giant bunker of sorts)

The homunculi are very pissed off about this because you cant use the infected as a soul for their big transmutation circle so Father has put them on Top priority to get to the bottom of this because they are running out of TIME.

Just for shits and giggles. And this rly is the cursed timeline: instead of splicing his daughter with her dog for his recertification exam, Shou Tucker tried doing a lil bit of a bioalchemy experiment with fungi :) because he's such a fun guy eyyy

Riza and Ed are in CC and Riza gets stabbed so this is now Ed's solo arc trying to find medicine for her and anyone to help. He takes her to Christmas dive bar to recuperate. Not a soul to be found there. Everyone is fleeing Amestris. Folks in Resembool are going to Ishval because they know nobody is there in the ruins. Ed doesnt know if Pinako and Winry are even alive but he hopes they are. Someone has to be in this mess.

Ed doesnt rly want to use his alchemy because the more he does the easier it is for these infected to find him. And while he is immune he doesnt fancy losing more limbs to these bastards.

Riza looked super unwell. Ed doesnt know if hed be able to navigate any of this by himself. He doesnt know if anyone he knows is still alive. She is his lifeline at the moment and this means he has to save her. Especially if Mustang is still alive. They gotta meet him and they gotta succeed.

Ed knows the hospital is too far away. But theres got to be a pharmacy nearby or smth he can raid. He has to.

But all of them have already been raided. And the infected are growing in numbers. Yet Ed refuses to go back. He can't let Riza down. He can't let someone else he loves die protecting him.

Through a series of dastardly events, Edward winds up finding a shackled man trying to break free from some infected chimeras. The man is screaming for help and crying and really being pathetic. Ed is the people's alchemist so he will help you pathetic crying man! Winds up saving him. Winds up getting mugged because the seemingly infeccted chimeras and the man are in on a con together to survive.

Edward fights them. Gets overpowered due to numbers. "MOTHERFUCKERS!!!"

"Children these days are so rude :/ "

Anyway after some more back and forth Ed learns this guy is some big shot alchemist from Ishval and asks him if he knows Riza Hawkeye. He needs medicine for her.

The chimeras are all like sorry kid we dont have any medicine.

Kimblee, with a ph stone in him: I could heal her with some alchemy. Our party would benefit from a sniper.

So Riza gets saved via ph stone. Wakes up and sees Kimblee. Imediatelly takes a gun and tries to shoot him.

Especially when she sees his bite marks!! Motherfucker STEP AWAY. Hes like I got these weeks ago!! Liar! No, really! I'm immune! And I'm the Fuhrer President himself *cocks gun*

Fun times lay ahead on their search for Roy Mustang.

[spacedlexi]

hey same anon from yesterday!

first off, good luck with your assignments, Killin myself out here too.

And thanks for the advice! I’m trying to make it canonical while in a modern au, so since this was a mainly S1 part of the series, Clem’s parents + Lee’s wife nonsense still happens, just navigated differently. Different dates obviously happen, some characters are less prominent and others are more (i.e St. John’s useless, or Larry + Lee’s family roles/created)

For the personalities, some characters are just easier to write I think. I’ll never understand the Violet southerner thing, a telltale sight for me is if someone messes that up. (Also basically every story has Minerva as a total asshole so that’s funny)

I tried to implement game lines too, while putting it in modern context! And the end of the day you’re right, it is MY choice, just want to have it look nice. Again, thanks and good luck!

using lines ripped from the game can definitely be helpful, especially if it feels natural in the scene, i would just be careful in not leaning on it too much. adding a twist to it definitely helps. but really try to pay attention to the cadence with which characters speak. theres a rhythm to Everything. do they stutter when theyre nervous? do they use a lot of filler words? do they hesitate at all or do they speak confidently? do they enunciate? stuff like that. if you can figure that out it makes it easier to write dialogue that really feels like its coming from that character. think about the different ways multiple characters may express the same idea. how does it get filtered through their heads and mouths. its less about What the character is saying and more How theyre saying it. believability and all that. to me it feels like pulling off a magic trick

it really is just a delicate balance of behavior and vocabulary. its why i try to cut a lot of slack to writers when it comes to fic. i know its a hard line to walk, and i'll give points for getting Enough right. especially for characters we dont see much of. thats why even tho it annoys me a bit i understand why so many people write minnie as being a possessive asshole and not much else. its why i end up going down the rabbit hole trying to figure out who she was before the delta. like we Know she was a different person, we just dont know much about that person, and the experience/thought process that she had that turned her from the "didnt even like killing walkers" never mind the darkness minnie into the minnie that killed her sister. i find her to be a really interesting character because its obvious she still cares about the ericson group in some fucked up way (sans clem she just sees her as an obstacle to getting them back) and i Do wish that depth was examined more in fics. but maybe im just not reading the right ones

ANYWAY i hope this has all been helpful and good luck with your writing 💕

[horrorvampirebatbite]

but the question is should you give astarion the duel wielder feat, alert feat or sharpshooter feat first. hummmmm 🤔 i dont think the pay off for sharpshooter is worth it early on to be actually helpful, perhaps for his second feat? especially bcuz with a good bow, he doesnt really need the boost in ranged attacks, not during act 1 anyway, theres just better options for the First feat. its more between alert and duel wielder to me, theyre both so good to have early in the game

i guess it comes down to play style, with alert youre guaranteeing (most of the time) he gets first turn, since his initiative is already high enough that he Usually gets first turn even without it. its more beneficial and noticeable for like, the harder fights because even if the boss goes second, all you need is that first turn to make sure they dont go sicko mode on your guys before they get even 1 turn in. he also cant be surprised which is always awesome but i personally dont find to be much of a problem when replaying the game bcuz even if its unavoidable, its just easier to navigate when you know its coming.

whereas duel wielder gives him more of an edge in close combat which god knows, he needs lmao if he literally cant sneak away. its risky for the first feat bcuz hes one of the more squishy classes, like maybe you should prioritise safeguarding him before focusing on giving him mad offense again, especially early on when you dont have much else or hell maybe you dont feel so confident with him enough yet. but thats all preference

i think if you want to (nearly) always have the upper hand at the start of combat, you should go with alert, its probably the safer and in that regard, better option. but if hes going to be one of your more offense heavy classes in your team, go with duel wielder. i also find duel wielder is just more fun to have alas i usually go with that first if im doing my usual foul foursome team comp. but i am curios to know if theres other feats anyone else regards as Must Haves for him bcuz i find atp i Never give him anything else lmao its always those three but im willing to broaden my horizons, enlighten me

[pixiecaps]

pix what would you consider to be something that should go in the gg ninjas tag? i really want to use it but every time i try i double guess myself and think it might not be a whole team thing lsdjfksdjf - @qroier

i personally tag any liveblog from a green team pov as gg ninjas . so if fit does something like kill a tiger i’ll tag that gg ninjas, if roier says something funny i’ll tag that gg ninjas, basically anything related to the green team so that if anyone has it filtered they dont have to see it. and also literally anything related to the team can go there like gifs and clips and fanart etc. makes it easier to navigate and find content related to gg ninjas 👍

you can put bloodhounds content in there as long as its from THIS EVENT. like after this ends obviously we cant use the gg ninjas tag anymore but if u wanna post about etoiles & roier then u can use gg ninjas but i suggest using their tags as well like roier & etoiles! like i was posting earlier today quotes from fit & forevers convo that isnt the WHOLE TEAM but theyre apart of gg ninjas so it goes into that tag.

[deathwishedx]

I worked adult retail with a 47 y/o (at the time, theyre probably 49 now) nonbinary individual who came out and presented as butch in the 90s, pursued ftm transition in the 2000s and realized it wasn't the right fit, married their wife in the mid 2000s and had it officiated by a lesbian nun. (The wedding wasn't even legally binding. They didn't care. It was about love) realized they were on the Ace spectrum and that it had a name in the 2010s, and also discovered that the term non-binary was the perfect description of their experiences.

I feel like often in discourse around non-binary identities they're discounted for being "new" and a "trend" among young people. We forget that the reason younger generations had easier access to learning these terms is because we were online and raised with tech as children so we had an easier time navigating a massive international hub for sharing information at a young age. It's not because it was suddenly "made up". It's just because we were young, discovering ourselves, and in the right place at the right time. It doesn't exclude older generations from finding themselves in these lables. And it's beautiful that older queer people are still here, can share their testimony with us, and also continue their journey of self-discovery as we all learn more. Because the lables may be new, yes. But the feelings and experiences are not.

TLDR:

Self discovery doesn't belong to the young and stop when your youth does. Be who you wanna be. Don't stop being introspective and safely exploring what feels right and makes you happy. You owe it to yourself to find joy in what's authentically you.

BTW today I met a person who's at least 50, uses they/it pronouns, and named themself Wyvern. It looks like if Santa was a biker and it plays D&D at the local library. Just a reminder that you can do whatever you want, forever.

[happigreens]

Im very saddened by how many of my BSF larvae are dying. I think its bc im overwatering my containers and theres not enough airflow in the substrate (which is compressing and getting matted from the moisture and heat) so theyre suffocating and overheating. Ive been sifting out by hand so many dead ones and its gross and disturbing a little; seeing how theyve been suffering abd deformed when they were once thriving. Yesterday I saw one imago fly crawl desperately and pitifully out some of the substrate i picked out and it was so deformed and sickly. Gave me a shudder tbh (i put it out its misery and killed it).

Im saddened but i think this is a good learning lesson for how to curate better environments for the BSF larvae (which i do care abt v much beyond what they do for me in my composting project). Things I think ive been doing wrong include:

Not aerating the buckets enough

Not aerating the buckets/containers passively enough - with filters and pipes instead of constantly shifting and rolling the buckets

Not adding dry and wet material in layers - i got a bit selfish and mixed the dry material thruout the buckets instead of just on top of existing substrate in layers bc i wanted to clearly see the larvae eat food (i find it v cute and relaxing to watch). This was devistating for them bc of how much the paper trapped water and heat in the buckets, and probably gave the larvae more difficulty navigating thru the strings toward air and food.

Not using varied enough dry material - i used too much paper, which absorbs water well, but then matts up pretty substantially when oversaturated; also not enough larger, different pieces of dry material, which would help create air pockets in the soil and diversify material in the soil

Not having a good enough set up for the darker, mature larvae to migrate from the buckets and pupate - ive found a lot of these darker larvae dead bc they've either succumbed to poor conditions of the containers or have spent their last energy reserves on trying to get away from the younger larvae and migrate to a dark, cool place; this saddens me the most bc they were so close to their imago form and being free from the buckets to complete their life cycle :-(

Adding too much water - makes the enclosed buckets/containers more likely to trap heat by compressing the substrate

Adding too little substrate - at one point i figured, naïvely, that some buckets—before i switched to large containers—could stay cool if there were less substrate to trap heat. Ig it would have worked had the buckets not been in the sun lol

Keeping the containers in the sun - containters get too hot and so does the substrate, suffocating the larvae, proliferating mold, and probably making the conditions harsher for other variety of creatures; the amount of sun they get is only ever about 2 or 3 hrs worth in the morning and ive kept them in the sun last yr w little to no problem, but when i went to sift the material for completed bits, i noticed the buckets were extremely hot on some days especially in the bmiddle of the buckets. Its generally recommended to keep compost cool in the shade anyway to make it easier to work on and also maintain its internal tempurature better (bc the movement of the larvae, the fermenting of their feces, and other factors cain contribute to heat production).

Adding too much meat, bread and starchy foods, like potatoes, into the containers (particularly at the bottom, where the former rots poorly and creates sticky muck-balls that houseflies and their larvae fancy more, and the latter 2 which attracts lots of mold if theyre not eaten in time) - BSF larvae will eat practically anything organic, even if theres a bit of mold on it, so its why i feed them meat, but they seem to only do so successfully when its at the top of the container, and ofc when the containers conditions are comfortable for browsing and eating)

Sadly im dealing w a loss of a substantial portion of quality of my compost. Even though ive nearly completely filled an entire several gallon bucket full of mature compost (that i siftef from my progress containers), the substrate i have left is a lot and very unfinished. The only positives i got out of this mass death so early into this season are bitter learning lessons and less worry abt winterizing the buckets for the larvae's survival (morbid, i know lol).

But nicely enough, adult BSFs still come to visit my buckets (and land on me lol) and lay their eggs. Sunny summer season wont be over for another at least 3-4 months here, so im not losing hope. Even the death of the larvae has attracted to much life to the buckets (housefly larvae love the gross bits the BSF larvae didnt eat, and many little bettles and other creatures are abound).

[obitv]

compiling all my un-witness protection hcs into one post because. well why not

deadwood as whole is a fairly small town. one small school, the only highschool is actually outside the town. everyone from deadwood gets the bus out there and theyd all know Of eachother if they dont know everyone personally

because deadwood is Fucking Weird kids from there struggle fitting in once they go to the highschool. while a lot of them would be in larger more typical cliques, they tend to group together whenever they can

abilities like seeing/talking to spirits arent.. uncommon? its not like everyone has them and generally it isnt Spoken Of but theres a much higher concentration there than youd find in any other city or town in prime

which is how the upp formed! group of highschoolers from deadwood, all from different social groups who would never typically interact all realise they have some sort of Sight

i just realised theyyre literally like in scoobydoo. this wasnt on purpose oh god

anyway. the group was probably formed both by william (wants to investigate the goings-on but cant actually talk to spirits, only see them) and a more popular, extroverted girl who like probably had a bit of a crush on him but also agreed that something needed to be done and they could do it

just bc deadwood doesnt have heroes doesnt mean teenagers wont get hero complexes! erm

onto the actual upp! theres around 5-6 of them. 2 girls, 3 or 4 guys. i havent fully decided on a number, maybe one guy drops in and out.. for future consideration

im hesitant to give her names but one girl Is called mary. not the extroverted girl, id say shes more of their navigator and is big into survivalism. urban trespassing girlie

theres totally a jock. like there has to be. hes actually a lot smarter than people give him credit for

i think for abilities.. william has the weakest Sight but his investigative skills and motivation make up for that. also sometimes he throws sticks that helps

another one of the guys has the strongest abilities. he can see them vividly and can speak to anything that CAN speak. probably in the same boat as william, he'd be an outcast without the upp. maybe theyre close friends :)

they dont actually go into the woods unless they have to - theyve grown up on stories of how dangerous they can be and how easy it is to get lost or turned around or just Taken, even in groups

typically it was graveyards, old buildings, maybe a trainyard or something idk whats in america

if they were dealing with aware spirits, typically all they needed was some sort of easier seance/exorcism, maybe just having someone to tell their story to, maybe a mystery solved

theres monsters in deadwood too, though. procedure for them varied wildly from RUN AWAY to finding out who they once were and helping them back to that, and then the typical seance/exorcism, to just asking it to go away

after williams incident, they dont fully drift apart. maybe for a while after he left, until they were sure whatever curse he had brought on them was gone with him. they tone down the investigative side of things, and have less cases as a result, but they still do what they can

cant wait for all of this to get decanonised ^_^ itll be awesome. um hope u enjoyed. feel free to ask more details bc i left a lot out actually to try focus on the group instead off Just william. a few of my general deadwood hcs are in here so you can ask abt those too ^_^

[actualbird]

ive been wanting to ramble bout this for years (like since 2019 HAHA) but i held off on it because i figured the fandom phenomenon i was seeing was gonna be a one off thing. something thatd fade with time.

it wasnt. it's still here and so i wanna articulate what i think about

the fast food-ification of fandom

here’s the thing about fandom right now; we operate on social media platforms that are inherently fast paced. social media platforms these days prioritize new and popular content, but more than that, it creates an audience that is always searching for new content very, very quickly. 

tumblr is a bit of a lesser evil, in terms of contributing to this (still does, tho, dont think im exempting hellsite derogatory, LMAO). but twitter, imo, is a hellscape with a system that hammers this in so so much: the lack of an explorable archive, no account specific tag search mechanism, a timeline algorithm that shows an account's followers the popular tweets first instead of chronologically and oftentimes even if you follow that account you will not be able to see all the tweets that account makes lest you go to the profile specifically. twitter is built for "new new new!" and it's not its fault, i guess, cuz it was not designed with fandom interaction in mind. still, it's become a very popular fandom platform and the "new new new!" mindset the system promotes ends up seeping into the members of fandom itself.

and there’s nothing wrong with wanting new content. but the problem here, i think, is the speed at which we consume fanwork. and the lack of memory for fanwork thats already been made.

fanwork consumption feels like it's going 100000000 mph with these kinds of systems and thanks to the lack of a navigate-able archive or tagging system, it's nigh impossible to find something from even last week. an incredible piece of fanart or fanfic or any fanwork gets attention for 3 days tops before it's lost and very very difficult to find. things are so fast and it's harder to remember them now.

swerve to another point: the trend of silence

im gonna bash on twitter again (SORRY KJSFBSD, like, i do have a twitter btw so im speaking from experience. i'd like to make it clear im not bashing ppl who do like/use twitter, im waving my hands frustratedly at twitter's systems) cuz tweet wc limits make it so that literally not much can be said! additionally, to add comments in QRT takes attention/notifs away from original poster, so if u QRT an art with praise, OP will see that! but if ppl reply more praise to the art on that QRT, OP will not get notified so that praise might as well have been yelled to the void

im a passionate believer that if youve got something nice to say about a fanwork and/or the creator of that fanwork, say it on their turf so they can see it. twitter makes it easier for this to not happen. positive attention and feedback matters so so much to creators and im p sure im not alone in saying that i cherish each and every comment (be it on ao3 or tumblr tags/comments or asks) ive ever gotten

and like, i know the argument to that is "make fanwork for yourself! dont make it for attention, do it cuz you enjoy it!" and "for every feedback you dont get, theres many lurkers who value and love what you do!"

i agree with that first thing very much but only the bit that says "do it cuz you enjoy it!" cuz yea! fandom is about having fun! but also like...isnt the point of fandom the fact that it's not just you alone, but you in a community?

a big draw of fandom, for me, is that it's likeminded deranged nerds all obsessed about the same thing. these are people on similar wavelengths and theyre people PLURAL. do fanwork cuz you enjoy it but the implication that a fancreator should be happy in isolation doesnt make sense cuz thats not what fandom is about.

and as for "there are lurkers who silently enjoy what you make" well...why?

why not say something when youve got something nice to say?

be it fanart or fanfic or fanmeta or anything, if the thought already pops up in your head, why not say it somewhere the creator can see it?

i totally understand if youre shy or if it's difficult to put into words whatever your thoughts are, like, huge mood. but also fandom becomes an infinitely funner space to be in when people are saying things

even a comment thats something simple and short makes the current landscape of fast paced churning out of fanworks feel less like we’re shouting in a forest alone, and more like we’re shouting in a forest and somebody yelled “I LOVED THIS” back. it’s really nice.

this is not a criticism towards anybody, but instead just kinda like, an inquiry to how we consume and interact with fanwork, these days. it’s really fast. like, so fast. tags update daily with new things every single day, every second, and it’s easy to just look and look and not say a thing. and that ease of fanwork consumption also makes it easy to forget just how hard it is to make things. how hard it is to make anything at all.

so much heart and effort is put into every work in fandom, and ive always seen fandom as a space for unapologetic enjoyment and community. treating fandom like a fast-food transaction where u get a thing in 5 minutes and drive off is...well, i dunno. but for me, among many things, it makes us forget just how much heart and effort is in all things.

[meruz]

@phantasymist I have a ref board!! I use pureref which is a one time download program and i think pretty worth it if you find yourself navigating a bunch of reference pics all the time! I think its actually rly useful if (like me) you have limited screen space because it makes it a lot easier to resize and mainpulate imgs while preserving their quality, drag them on and off screen whenever you need them, and the window can be made transparent and pinned on top of all ur other windows if need be. heres a screencap of my board for this illus

I also did open the game up while I was sketching and used a bunch of my own screenshots but actually because i have the switch version they werent the best quality LMAO. theyre the like blurry desaturated screenshots in the middle right.

crunchy layer breakdown gif + explanation + process vid under the cut if you wanna watch me ink and flat for like 4 hours but sped up 50x speed

i feel like this is the kind of illustration (perspective, detail and bg heavy, lots of light sources and tiny parts) which people can feel really intimidated by...at least its something I definitely used to feel intimidated by when I was a more green artist. but i want to show that its really not so complicated when you break it down into its parts...! hope this helps someone.

[yak---ky]

I'm getting pretty tired of Twitter becoming the new tumblr especially since it's not very likely in the average life time to implode in on its self like tumblr did I love tumblr but that doesn't change how bad this site is I find it absolutely crazy bananas that I'd have a better chance trying to use tumblrs search function on someone profile then on Twitter it's a search function man social media is a broken joke and I don't give a shit out people trolling celebrities just keep scaring and killing politicians credibility because it's one of the few semi productive things I've seen on that site I wish the damn thing was easier to navigate so I could use it like tiktoks search function is rough as hell but your not supposed to search your supposed to sit back in a catatonic state while you passively make them money so it gets the "my capitalism was my cause" pass theyre vile but they are not trying to hide it tiktok should also go away or start drinking I feel like that it'd be way better if it had drunk bastard vibes and stopped encouraging children to expose themselves on the internet also has anyone participated in the reddit tea community they have got some of the snobbiest bitches making it their mission to tell you to spend money in the way they prefer its gotten better over time but people are still out there being ass wagons about bagged tea and sugar

[peachiikawa]

Fly | Route Selected: O. Tooru

genre: mafia au, choose your own adventure

warnings: honestly nothing too bad in this route

word count: 3.1k

Fly Masterlist

“I choose--”

But before you could even finish your sentence, the front door opened and an arm draped around your shoulders

“They’ll be with me”

You looked to see who had just walked in and were stunned to see such a beautiful man

“Very funny oikawa, now let them go. This is a personal matter”

Daichi took a step forward and you could feel the tension in the air

But the silence was broken with a chuckle from oikawa

“Dont worry so much daichi. They arent just a threat to you theyre a threat to the entire community so to make your burden easier ill gladly take them in. you have better things to worry about anyways”

The smile on his face was far from a friendly one

Even you could tell it was a bit condescending and it made you a bit scared

He led you out the door but not before turning his head one last time

“Tell your old man seijou gives their regards”

With that he led you to his car and got you buckled in

“Now where do you live..?”

“My name is y/n and i live down the street and around the block”

He drove you home and made sure you got into your apartment

“Come in tomorrow whenever youd like, preferable before noon though. Heres my card if you have any questions. Goodnight y/n!”

He kept the conversation brief and didnt look back as he left

As soon as you closed the door you leaned against it and slid down onto the ground

Just what had you gotten yourself into?

You couldnt really sleep that night knowing that in the morning you were going to be working with the mafia

So you took an early shower and got to the address on the card oikawa gave you the night before around eight o’clock

You took a nervous breath before walking into the gigantic corporate building

‘Seijoh Industries’

The company had a long reputation of being in the modeling and fashion industry

It scared you to think that so many big companies were involved in who knows what else

You pushed the glass doors open and immediately got lost

Like how do you even navigate the inside of this building???

It wasnt long before you got stopped

...by some guy with blonde hair with lines in them

Was he trying to look like a tennis ball??

As he steps toward you you take one back until youre against a wall

“What the fuck are you doing here? Youd better leave. Now”

You feel like your stomach is about to drop before you hear that all too familiar voice

“Maddog what are you doing to y/n! Its their first day you shouldnt be so mean”

Oikawa grabbed your hand and led you down the hall to a pristine office

He sat down behind his desk and organized a few papers for you

“Youre here bright and early. I was half expecting you to just not show up”

His eyes glanced up from the papers in his hands for a brief moment

“But im glad you did it would have been a..hassle to find you”

The way that sentence came out of his mouth with that smile on his face sent a shiver down your back

He handed you a few papers and a list of tasks to do

Most of which consisted of you running errands and organizing some cabinets around the building

“Finish those and if you get done with that before the end of the day you can do whatever. Just dont poke your nose where it doesnt belong”

The smile on his face never left once your entire conversation and it left you with a weird feeling in your gut

As you turned to leave you just couldnt shake the weird feeling you got every time you saw it

But you went on your way, trying not to think about it too hard

You did each task with ease and you really thought that some of them were a bit unnecessary since most of the things on the list were already done

It was almost therapeutic doing normal things, it at least made you feel less nervous

It didnt take you long before you finished your tasks

“Hey you”

You jumped at the sound of someone’s voice and slowly turned towards a man with short and spiky brown hair

He held out a couple of papers to you

“I need you to make a few copies of these and then bring them to trashykawa”

Your eyebrows furrowed and he noticed your confusion

“I mean Oikawa. Sorry, force of habit. Im Iwaizumi by the way. I work over in communications''

You fumbled with the papers in your hands, trying to get a grip before he noticed how nervous you were

His sharp eyes were fixed on you which made you even more self-conscious 

You let out a shaky breath before introducing yourself

“Im y/n. Its my first day working here”

He nodded his head

“Yeah well just lay low if you want to survive this mess. Ill see you later y/n.”

A few weeks go by and it seems to be the same thing filling your days

This place wasnt as scary as you first thought and everyone seemed nice enough

The beeping from the copy machine brought you back to reality from your daydream and headed back to oikawas office

Though you had been here for almost a month now, it never got easier to be around him

Something was just too off putting about him

You took a deep breathe before knocking on the door to which you got a muffled “come in”

He didnt look up as you set the papers on his desk and only looked back up at you when he didnt hear your leave

He took off the glasses he was wearing and set them down in front of him

“Can i help you with something?”

Again, that smile on his face just...didnt feel right

“I was done with my work, is there anything else I can do for you?”

He just shook his head

“That should be it for me! Why dont you go see if iwa needs anything?”

You could tell that he wanted nothing more than to have just a moment to himself

And the constant flow of people probably didnt help

“This might be bold of me to say but that smile you wear around people...you dont need to put up any false pretenses around me. I know my situation and I know it isnt all sunshine and rainbows so feel free to be yourself around me. So one last time, before I go, do you need anything?”

His eyes were wide at what you just said

You had only been here for what? A few weeks? With minimal contact as well

So how did you notice?

The only other person whos ever called him out on it was iwaizumi

And he hated being read like this but he kept that smile up

“Nope im fine”

You nodded and left, closing the door behind you

And as soon as you did he threw his pen down on his desk and held his head in his hands

How...how did you see through him

He had carefully made this mask of his so that no one would be able to see how he was feeling

Emotions were a weakness

He didnt need them

And he sure as hell didnt need you

The next week he made it his mission to completely ice you out

No contact at all

And it made you kind of frustrated

The man steals you away from the other mafia you almost became affiliated with and just throws you to the side?

So you went to him after him doing whatever he could to make sure he avoided you

The man literally had tennis-head outside of his office to scare you away

“What are you doing”

The sudden voice behind you almost made you scream

“Oh iwaizumi! Dont scare me like that!”

You smacked his shoulder as you two hid around the corner from oikawas office

“If you must know im trying to get into oikawas office. I'm sick of his avoiding me like im the plague”

Iwaizumi let out a deep sigh

He knew why oikawa was avoiding you

And he also thought it was a little much

Wasnt it about time he stopped being scared?

“Tell you what y/n, ill distract kenta and while i do you can sneak into oikawas office”

Your eyes sparkled and he almost wanted to laugh

“Really?!” 

He nodded and patted your head

“Get that idiot out of his funk”

He then walked up to kenta and walked off with him, giving you a thumbs up behind his back

And when they were out of sight you knocked on oikawas door and didnt wait for him to respond before barging in

To say he was shocked was an understatement

“What are you-”

“Stop. Before you go on about how youre busy just please listen to me. I dont know what i did to deserve this amount of avoidance but if its about what i said that day, i dont regret what i said. And i wish you would stop avoiding your problems and just confront them”

Confront his problems?

What the hell do you know about his problems

“So you came in here to tell me that? What the fuck do you know about me? Youre just some street rat that poked their nose where it didnt belong. You dont know me so stop trying to tell me what to fucking do! Emotions make you weak and i dont need that”

At this point he had you backed against a wall

And when he realized what just happened he pushed himself away from you

God what the hell was he even doing

Hes spent years perfecting his facade

And then you come barging in and it just breaks?

You slowly approached him and put a hand on his shoulder

“See? Was that so bad? Honestly, seeing you like that was refreshing. Feel free to keep the mindset that emotions make you weak, i wont try to convince you otherwise. Thats a realization you need to make on your own but for now please dont hold back around me”

For the first time in a while oikawas heart stood still, almost as if he could feel himself again

“Whatever. I still have paperwork to do so leave or make yourself useful”

He shrugged your hand off of him and went back to his desk

You just smiled and nodded your head

“Ill be back with a coffee for you!”

And when you exited you bumped into the back of kentarou

“Ah sorry! Ill be back!”

As you ran off kenta took a step toward you

“What the hell..get back here!”

But before he could take another oikawa cleared his throat

“You can leave your post mad-dog. Youre no longer needed here”

Kenta nodded his head but was too shocked to move for a moment, caught off guard by the small smile that lingered on his boss’ face

The couple weeks after that you were allowed back in his office and he even started to request your presence at times for no other reason than he just wanted you to sit in the room with him

And that smile he used to give you was now replaced by a soft, genuine smile that made your heart flutter

Little things started to become more noticeable to you

Like how cute it was when he pouted his lips when he was really focused

And honestly he was too

Your smile was maddening

And your laugh made him feel like he was being swallowed whole, unable to breath

It scared him

Nothing good has ever happened when he became emotionally attached to someone

“Oikawa, are you okay?”

You put your hand up to his forehead and checked for a fever

He could feel his cheeks heating up and gently swatted your hand away

“No im fine. Dont worry about me”

He watched your face fill with concern and his heart lurched forward

This feeling...it scared him. But for now, if its you, hes willing to see where this goes

“Good morning oikawa!”

You walked into his office with his morning coffee which he gladly took from your hands

“Good morning y/n”

He had a job later and needed all the energy he could get

But not before having his morning conversation with you

“I'm leaving around noon with maki and mattsun. Iwa’s in charge till i get back so if you need anything ask him”

You could tell by the way he was talking that it was something serious and therefore probably something to do with the mafia

Sure you had done a few things for Seijoh like fax some papers and have oikawa sign a few things but nothing to where oikawa needed to leave has ever come up

He could see anxiety cloud over your face

“Hey”

He grabbed your hand and gave it a small squeeze

“I’ll be fine. You have nothing to worry about, okay?”

You nodded your head

“Please be safe”

Worry reflected in your eyes and it made him almost go weak

All he could do was nod and give a half smile

The entire time he was away you sat at his desk anxiously waiting for his return

...

“Cough up the money oikawa. We had a deal”

Oikawa looked at the man in front of him with his trademark empty smile

“That wasnt our deal. Now give us what you owe”

The room was tense but nothing that oikawa hasnt dealed with before

But his world soon turned upside down with what was thrown on the table that stood between them next

The color drained from his face as he looked at pictures taken of you without anyone knowing

“Where the hell did you get these”

The man in front of him just laughed

“Now thats an interesting expression oikawa. Never thought id see the day where that smile of yours wasnt on your face”

His knuckles were turning white from how hard he was clenching his fists

“You know, it would almost be a shame if something were to happen to them”

Oikawas eyes widened in fear

It felt as if time around him had stopped for this one moment

And it made him want to puke

“Dont you dare lay a hand on them”

His jaw was so tense that he thought he was about to pop a blood vessel

“Then give us the money”

He wasnt left with much of a choice

So he did what he was told

“See? Was that so hard?”

“Are we done here?”

He was itching to get back as soon as possible

To make sure you were okay

He couldnt rest until he knew you were fine

“Yes now leave”

The car ride seemed to last forever, maki and mattsun had never seen their boss like this and exchanged subtle glances the entire ride

As soon as the car stopped he ran into the building and to your desk

And when he saw you werent there his heart dropped

‘Where are you, y/n?!’

The only other place you could be was his office

He slammed his door open only to see you jump up from his desk, the sleep in your eyes still evident

He let out the breath he didnt even know he was holding as soon as his eyes landed on you

He went straight over to you and pulled you into his arms

The tightness of the hold around you was comforting yet alarming

You brought your arms up to wrap around him and you swear you could feel him slightly shaking

“Oikawa?”

You voice was soft and made him feel weak in the knees

“Just…let me stay like this for a moment”

After that day you were moved into his home and he never left your side

He never fully explained what happened that day

But you knew it had shaken him

Especially since you havent seen his smile since then

You were escorted everywhere

And when you asked why you were only given the short answer of “i said i’d guard you so i'm doing that”

You didnt mind being with him, really

If anything you liked being able to be with him all the time

You just hoped you werent being a hindrance

So one night as you laid in bed while oikawa sat on the ground next to you leaning against the bed frame, you turned towards him

He had been doing this lately to “guard” you and you knew he wasnt sleeping much

“Oikawa”

His eyes immediately met yours

“Am i being a burden on you?”

Though it was dark, he could hear the sadness in your voice

“I just feel like ive been holding you back lately and thats the last thing i want to do”

He cupped your face with his hand and gently stroked your cheek

“Not to mention that you havent smiled once since coming back that day and it just all feels very distant and lonesome. I hope you know that you can talk to me, i’ll never judge you for anything”

And in those few simple words the gate that had been holding back all of his emotions back suddenly broke

“y/n im scared”

His head hung low as his lips trembled

“Im scared to lose you and im scared that ive become weak since being with you but i just cant let you go. Losing you makes me feel more terrified than anything else”

The thought of losing you made it feel as if he was drowning and the water was filling his lungs with a burning sensation

You sat up in your bed and took his hand in yours

“Then why dont you turn that fear into strength? Hiding me...putting me under 24 hour surveillance...its no different than running. I dont want to be away from you either oikawa”

How did you always clear his head? It was like your words just made everything make sense

He made his way onto your bed and started to kiss you, soft yet hungry for more

He could never get enough of you

You made his heart full

And you became his strength

You made him strong and he could never forget this debt

taglist:  @the-ironic-me @multisun @my-mass-hysteria @sugawsites @youbloodylegendyoudidit @sinthxy @celamoon​ @tinymouth @fait-de-fleurs @tsukifanbase​ @69owo​ @laglyssage @hearteyeskags​ @ntngann​ @shnnn​ @fukuro-dani-ace​​ @exponentially-tired​​ @soy1melk​

[ghostly-rantings]

yea personally as a physically disabled person i actually would 100% get rid of my chronic pain if i was magically able to but i think the idea is fun to play with as well, maybe having a potion that wears off after a certain period of time or making certain healing spells only able to be done by specific powerful mages of incredible skill would be a fun and interesting way to navigate wanting to have disabled rep without making inspiration porn. i also think itd be fun to have one or two characters who Do choose theyd rather just be disabled than 'fix' it with magic like if someone was quadriplegic but theyre an excellent telepath so they use that instead of magically healing themselves.

as a mentally disabled person i think magic would be an especially interesting exploration and something i wish we could see more of other than "theyre actually mediums/prophets/other delusion-inducing trope". like if we could have a psychotic or schizophrenic character who uses illusion magic to make their hallucinations perceptable to others or an autistic person who has a special interest in a specific area of magic like alchemy or something. give me a wizard with an intellectual disability

fantasy is a great way to explore real world topics and issues so incorporating how disabilities can affect your characters in a magical world is actually really cool. magic doesnt mean there cant be difficulties to work through, adding in systemic reasons why disabilities still exist in a world where magic can do anything is also an idea someone could use. maybe you Could magic away your fibromyalgia but doing so is illegal or socially stigmatized so nobody will or even knows how, maybe the resources for that spell is gatekept for those who "really need them" which could be a good mirror to how many disabled people are treated in real life by medical professionals

maybe the magic cant make your disability go away, but it can make it better, easier to live with at least. maybe you still cant walk, but magic brooms work just as well and you dont have to worry about those pesky stairs. maybe you were born without arms, but you dont need those to use incantation magic, so youve mastered that field. maybe you have OCD and use little portals or something to check and make sure that lock IS locked without having to get up to go check, using xray vision to make sure this apple is Not filled with maggots. maybe someone with DID uses transfiguration to change their appearance depending on whos fronting

i find disability in fantasy fascinating and dont think disability rep has to be eugenics or inspiration porn, i think theres a lot we can do with it

Remember y'all, *magic* doesn't negate the existence of disabled people. Eugenics does that. And Lainoff's book, All for One, is incredible and worth a read. It's on my bookshelf!

[tigerdrop]

hey i just wanna say the long posts genuinely make my day. also can you talk more about gordon freeman character because the way you write him makes me quake in my gay little boots

i would love to talk about gordon freeman. thank u for the opportunity

the first thing i need to communicate about gordon is that this dude sucks. and i say this in the fondest way possible. he is a bitch from the moment he drops into the world until the moment he goes out. if you dont believe me, give it another watch! gordons mouthy and rude for no real reason, at least so far as “being a regular dude on his way into work” goes, and this dude goes around calling his coworkers names with zero provocation. (of course, we all know that the reason is because its a funny guy improv stream that borrows a bit from freemans mind, but im talkin from a character sense.)

but my argument isnt just that gordon freeman sucks. its that he sucks in a very specific way that i find insanely endearing. i love this dude. i love to hate him. hes awful in a very mundane sense - weve all known a guy like this, at least if youve spent too much time online - and its cathartic to watch him suffer because of it.

gordons a smart guy. as written, hes gotta be - hes a recent MIT grad, on his way to work at a top-secret research facility to do weird shit with crystals and theoretical physics. but the thing about smart guys is that theyre often......selectively intelligent. we can see this in the way that he has a hard time navigating his surroundings, and needs the science crew to guide him through it and keep him alive.

this is one of those things that is a natural consequence of somebody going through the game for the first time, but that i am interpreting as “gordon is kind of stupid sometimes”. its uncharitable but its not like he doesnt deserve it. he likes to boss around the crew as if he knows what hes doing, when he often very much does not, and is fond of demeaning their intelligence. hes real bad about this with tommy in particular, treating him like hes a kid whos playing at being a scientist when tommy is actually a decade older than him. all i am saying is that gordon ought to stay humble. hes awful cocky when he perceives himself as better than others.

which, i think, tracks with how cocky he gets when he gives up on the whole “well-meaning citizen” thing and just unloads bullets into people. he puts up a front of being a Nice Guy, you know, just some dude caught in a bad situation who doesnt like seeing his companions obliterate every NPC they come across, but that doesnt stop him from cackling like a fucking madman and mowing down aliens (and soldiers) every once in awhile. when he stops seeing himself as helpless and starts seeing himself as the one in control, the gloves come off. he gets mean. and i think thats very sexy of him

this, among other things, is why i am insistent that gordon freeman is a control freak. he desperately wants to be in control of the situation at all times, shepherding around the science crew primarily by bitching at them, but its of limited success. its futile. sisyphean. tommy, coomer, bubby, and benrey exist almost to torment him with exactly the thing that would make him suffer the most: a gaggle of people running around causing problems for him, but he cant go anywhere without them b/c hes reliant on them to make it out alive.

its perpetual suffering, and its cathartic to watch. and funny, too. and if youre a little weirdo like me, its very, very enjoyable. how twisted up he gets when nobodys listening to him! how sweaty and frazzled he must look. its cute, and it also makes me want to reach through the screen and shake him and tell him to just be a little nicer. he wants control but he doesnt know how to attain it, he doesnt know how to play nice like a real leader. i think its a neat contrast to gordon freeman as we know him in HL2, where he literally is the leader of the resistance and has to live up to it. this is gordon freeman but if he was moe through helplessness.

“helpless” is, i think, a great way to describe him. a core bit of imagery in half life is this sense of railroadedness and helplessness, with gordon freeman being put into play like a chess piece and having no choice but to move forward. and this iteration of gordon leans into that by being totally dependent on the science crew in order to make progress and Not Die. and hes also subject to the whims of benrey, local eldritch weirdo who has basically made it his life mission to fuck with gordon.

gordons anxieties dont help with that. if he wasnt so fun to stress out and fuck with, the science crew probably wouldnt do it so much! too bad for him that they like fucking with him so much that he was driven into a panic attack (multiple times, even, depending on your interpretation). hes got that real neurotic mindset. always worrying about shit that could go wrong, and attempting to exert control over his surroundings in an effort to control the anxiety.

IMO the real way to nail the Neurotic Gordon Freeman Experience is to combine the ever-present anxiety with his pervasive sense of self-loathing. he openly states that he has no friends and nobody seems to like him, and to that, i really gotta say, i wonder why. he doesnt really seem to factor in that hes kind of a bitch, and has way too high an estimation of his own intelligence relative to everybody elses. its really one of the worst ways to be: aware that people dont like you, but unaware of exactly why. if he was like, 10% nicer, he probably wouldnt have had half as many issues getting through black mesa, but also, its funny to see him squawking his way through the game. so, you know.

its stuff like that that makes me headcanon him as a dude with low self-esteem in general. convinced that hes not likable, not attractive, out of his element......impostor syndrome, except that theres some truth to it. this is a guy who truly does not realize how good he has it: he really is just an average shitty dude, and yet, somehow, benrey took a shine to him. some poor motherfucker out there actually likes him and wants to suck his dick. thats dedication

also, i keep bringing up “repression” when i talk about gordon. and hopefully, what ive been talking about helps explain why. he has a strong desire to be a regular dude, not just murdering his way through black mesa, but if hes pushed hard enough he leans into it. gets bossy. picks up a cigar off a dead soldier and takes a long drag, before smacking forzen around with a pistol and ordering him around. gordon freeman is a regular, kind of anxious guy who likes competitive swimming and streaming on justin.tv and making anime references, and he is also a guy who takes a filthy pleasure in making a trained soldier his bitch. and i didnt make up any of this shit - this is purestrain canon, baby. this is a guy with problems

to me, this screams the kind of guy who represses a lot of shit b/c he doesnt feel like its morally decent. you run into this guy a lot online: the wokeboy, the online leftist, the guy who spends too much time on social media websites. (like reddit. i think he would actively use reddit and he would never get any appreciable amount of karma but he never stops posting. its sisyphean! cathartic.) from the way he talks about “bootboys”, i think it tracks. he knows about imperialism, he knows about feminism, but at the end of the day hes your average american white dude who struggles with internalizing it.

a lot of those dudes struggle with sex and gender issues. (dont we all.) when youre trying to be a Good Person(tm), you spend a lot of time thinking about your own relationship to sex and kink and all that shit. and i maintain that a too-online dude who buries a lot of his control freak tendencies would also try to bury a lot of weird sexual shit in an attempt to seem Normal and Well-Adjusted and not like a little freak. i justify this by the sheer number of times gordon blurts out weird sex shit as a joke. there are only two outcomes to making that many piss jokes: either youre secretly a piss guy, or you lathe-of-heaven yourself into becoming one. i will stand by this

ive talked a lot about why this dude sucks. now, let me talk to you about what makes gordon so much fun to write. first things first: hes funny! a subjective evaluation, yeah, but both in- and out-of-character, hes aiming to be funny. and being the straight man to everybody else plays into that whole “helplessness” thing.

secondly: underneath it all, there is a good dude under there. gordon worries when his companions get hurt, he tries to clean them off and patch them up, and hes got his lil leftist heart in the right place. you could even read a lot of his bossy, bitchy demeanor as him wanting to make sure everyone gets out okay and doesnt hurt themselves. when it comes to animals and anti-imperialist sentiment, gordons a pretty good guy.

hes the kind of guy who would probably see a dog on the street and get excited and play with it, but would get really prickly about the correct way to put dishes in the dishwasher. control freak tendencies.

finally, subjecting such a miserable, tormented guy to even more psychological anguish is really, really fun. you feel a little bad for him, but he kind of deserves it. so many problems he goes through are purely of his own making, and if gordon would just relax and quit trying to hard to maintain control - of himself, of the people around him - and own up to having Problems and Issues, he would be a happier guy. but thats why its fun to bend him until he breaks. being a little control freak myself, putting gordon freeman thru psychosexual torment is cathartic.

when it comes to writing his thought processes, the fact that he is canonically some kind of psychotic (yes, i am boldly claiming this. suck me) and i am also canonically some kind of psychotic makes it easier to write what i think his thought processes are. i just give him my brain issues of “getting lost in thought” and “overthinking fucking everything”. a touch of paranoia helps. even if i dont explicitly label him as schizophrenic please know that i am writing him as a paranoid little nutcase at all times because, uh, you write what you know.

paranoid. anxious. of the mindset that everyones out to get him (which isnt helpful when everyone is out to get him). repressed and deeply Not Normal but trying so very fucking hard to be normal and well-adjusted. a control freak with sadistic tendencies who also really, really likes getting bullied by his best frenemy. a hapless little nerd who sounds really cute when his voice starts to break from nerves. and, most importantly, a dumb jock. do not ever forget this.

thats gordon freeman, babey. hope that helps