#they...didn't...care...about B&C
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mejcinta · 5 months ago
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Look how they massacred our Dowager Queen :(
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When I catch you, Sara Hess and Ryan Condal!!!
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drowningparty · 8 months ago
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I just think the polite, well-behaved young man who secretly enjoys murdering people with his bare hands and gouging their eyes out and the blood-splattered god who delights in carnage and gleefully exploding people with his mind should, hand in unloveable hand, embrace their primal rage, become avatars of the slaughter together, and be deliriously happy for all of 2 seconds before one of them invariably kills the other. and it would be a real coin toss who dies first
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fantastic-nonsense · 1 year ago
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just saw a screenshot of the worst TikTok ever y'all
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caligvlasaqvarivm · 6 months ago
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wanna ask how you feel about the eridan bpd headcanon/theory(?? not sure what to call it!) you're so good at your character analysis and i'd love to see your outlook on it
Since I don't have a degree or any formal training in psychology, I feel deeply uncomfortable diagnosing characters. I've made an autism joke before but only because I'm on the spectrum. He's definitely traumatized and anxious, but I mean those as descriptors of his behavior rather than capital-D Diagnoses. I try to focus on those when I can - the cause and effect of cognition, self-image, and behavior - and those factors may very well match up with DSM criteria, but I try not to touch an actual diagnosis with a ten foot pole unless the author has explicitly stated that X character has Y condition.
#there's a variety of reasons for this#part of it is that im GROSSLY unqualified to be handing out diagnoses when it takes a full on PhD to do that in real life#part of it is that psychology is inchoate and we are still very much in murky waters#for example: complex ptsd isn't even IN the DSM yet#and iirc my therapist told me it was because theyre still figuring out how to classify it (attachment disorder? trauma disorder? etc.)#part of it is that (from my limited and undereducated understanding) there are diagnoses that you can assign by completing a checklist...#but some that require a hell of a lot more testing and ruling out other potential causes#and the cluster-b personalities are (IIRC) not even ones you're supposed to diagnose minors with#bc of fears of self fulfilling prophecy and because minors in general are still developing personalities In General#and like the fact that i can't say that with authority speaks to how unqualified i am to do any diagnosing right? hahaha#and part of it is just because like#unless the story is specifically About That and the author has stated so explicitly#i think diagnosing characters tends to put blinders on analysis#like if i were to seriously go 'eridan is autistic' then it would massively bias my reading and understanding of his character#and we have 0 indication that eridan was ever explicitly intended to be autistic or that the author was trying to do an autism specifically#that doesn't mean that the reading is invalid because like thats what death of the author means#all readings are technically valid including stuff the author didn't necessarily intend#but that's just not the way i like to engage with media and not the way i like to approach character analysis#because PERSONALLY it just feels kind of reductive - but also -#i'd wager MOST of us don't have degrees in psychology#so when i say 'X character has Y condition' it might mean something totally different to somebody reading my analysis#even people who have Y condition aren't exempt because a lot of mental illnesses differ from person to person#whereas if i explain “X character has Y thoughts and Z behaviors” there's no ambiguity in that#eridan struggles with noticing that people are suffering and with realizing that he should care#at least part of this is due to his horrific murder-filled upbringing which rendered empathy a detriment & so he learned to ignore it#it could be autism - but it could also be trauma -#or he might just be Like That without actually meeting the diagnostic criteria for autism#& you can't even technically be diagnosed with C-PTSD#or maybe he has a burgeoning personality disorder but you aren't supposed to DX those too early anyway#or maybe hes just 13. see what i mean hahaha. ive reached the 30 tag limit
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caterjunes · 10 days ago
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need some good things to come my way asap, NO i will not be doing anything to make this happen
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in-asterism · 9 months ago
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educational present due to that poll I've seen
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vigilskept · 2 months ago
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5 & 13 for dinara! (For the fifty (more) questions)
5. Who does Rook romance? What was the moment that sparked their interest?
lucanis! unfortunately for the both of them. very sweet dynamic, but literally dating anyone except for a fellow crow could've saved them.
as for the moment... it was the meeting with illario at cafe pietra.
it's less that it sparked her interest and more that it allowed her to be less wary of him. it's such an insane thing to trust another crow with that it factory resets her a little
he might trust viago but he only just met rook! and he let her see how fractured the relationships are in the recently talon-less house dellamorte! and he isn't even worried about that! that's insane!
anyway. the realisation that this man is an extremely poor strategist and that he (for some reason) already trusts her lets her stop side eyeing him for abomination-related and crow-related reasons and start actually getting to know him as a person.
13. What would Rook’s LI(s) say are their flaws?
at top of the list is the canonical rook trait of throwing herself into danger too easily and setting aside the consequences because she can deal with them later. makes her an incredibly stressful partner because she is not actually invulnerable.
the next one isn't necessarily a character flaw but it makes him incredibly uneasy that she seems to be changing somehow. the longer they stay in the fade, the more distant she seems to be getting. she's focused enough on the job, and she'll help out everyone who asks her for it, but they never had to ask before. it was always 'what can i do?' 'how can i help?'
and it's nice, probably, that she's getting along with spite now? it would be nicer if she wasn't also becoming friendly with other spirits too, though, or looking so bereft every time they step out of the lighthouse.
he doesn't know how to fix it. every time he tries to broach the topic she just looks sad and tells him that she wishes he could understand.
fifty (more) questions for rook
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sassyhazelowl · 9 months ago
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Me @ the local exotic bird fair: I'm way too white for this -- oh *gasp* ITS A CHICKEN *immediately bypasses the emus and parrots to see the modern game bantams and old english games in the back*
#my bird talk#its one of those things were you look around and go well someone is the odd one out#it was me#I'm very obviously white super white and woman-presenting#in a large exhibit hall of hispanic and se asian men#it didn't particularly bother me - I mean I lived in Korea for 3 years but I found it funny#the funniest part to me is the chicken sellers were also white women 😂 and they were the only white vendors other than the supply table#white women and hispanic men - biggest fans of chickens unite#I've actually purchased birds from the mom in the mom-daughter duo before#I desperately wanted those chickens tho#and the old english games in the table next to them#2 of my 3 fave chicken breeds the 3rd being sebrights#sadly I purchased 2 diamond doves and that's it#I wanted new colors/blood on the doves and 1-2 button quail roosters#but I was too slow on the button quails and someone else got them while I was buying a dove#next year after I build a bigger aviary and sell most of my canaries I'll try some finches#the new owners of the bird show must be allowing poultry/gamebirds now#b/c there were 2 chicken booths and coturnix and bobwhites and pheasants and mandarin ducks#usually the only birds like that you'd see would maybe be a pair of fancy pigeons or some ringneck doves#the only thing I don't like about that is chickens and ducks carry a lot of yucky things#like theses birds all looked very well taken care of b/c they were clearly showbirds#but I don't know how much vetting they do of the vendors and all it takes is one sick bird
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unproduciblesmackdown · 1 year ago
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vague musing theme re: deh in evan and the Mom & Son theme and evan taking on responsibility for how his own mom feels, and then also connor's. irreconcilable tension in deh, as in life, with [the family unit, at its smallest: a Parent & Child unit] inevitably needing to be validated via supporting whatever conclusion we get (and the conclusion support it in turn) versus whether, actually, that not only Can be enough but Must be enough, b/c of how it cannot be denied, that is: rejected
we have Parallel Moms in the first song, it's a relevant difference that the murphys are relatively rich & the hansens relatively poor, but the Primary effect of this difference being heidi's frequent absence at home due to working, vs. the lack of such financial pressures resulting in cynthia being....stuck at home and trying to figure out anything in life Through her role as Stay At Home Mom, whilest she also Isn't guaranteed more successful connection with her children (or husband, except that: he's Here, married to her) for that, as established already in that first song lol
evan right off the bat taking on the pressure of how his mom needs him to have a good year because also she needs to have a good year, and heidi talking about this in terms of things that evan needs to Do, like, he needs to Order Pizza*, he needs to be Making Friends & then Be Away Hanging Out With Them (*also i always consider how evan Could've avoided getting pizza to not spend the money? but nothing else (besides evan being conscious of financial woes & feeling pressure abt this more generally) really suggests this is the case, and i guess at any given point he has $20 to spare)....then referring to the Resolution of this relationship where suddenly heidi has a turning point offstage (like, offscreen lol) wherein now she can go "oh i didn't know you were Feeling like this" versus like. that the conflict the rest of the time is with her own feelings, of course, and evan's Behavior. wherein she doesn't really mind the bare facts that he's dealing with anxiety, has prescriptions & therapy about it, but she Has minded about the things he needs to Be Able To Do (specifically on his own, mind you) and what's important to Do to get there (despite the letters sure not seeming to help, and then like, never officially being written again. does he still go to therapy appts?)....and that she starts feeling rejected by him As His Mother, which is like, the main issue up until she reads thee letter via facebook and realizes [evan thinks he's failed heidi as her child, because of how he makes her feel (bad)]
that even when heidi refutes this, prior, it's not the answer when like, "you're the one good thing that ever happened to me" is also like about as much pressure as could be put on evan, The Answer here wouldn't necessarily be like "no don't worry, i don't reject you as my child, because of how you Don't make me feel bad / Disappointed"....cynthia illustrating this, though we have little sense of how connor felt, probably not like "i feel really secure b/c my mom definitely isn't disappointed or anything"....and then "sorry i can't give you more than that" from heidi as a followup is Effectively a shutdown to conversation b/c like, what can evan say to that, it's basically on par with something like a sarcastic "well sorry i'm not perfect / i guess i'm the worst parent ever" that's like yeah obviously nobody's perfect nobody's the Best Or Worst person ever, it's a dismissal. which i hardly think heidi's Trying to dismiss evan or anything, or is being disingenuous, but again like "i'm trying my best / i can't give you more than [my best, or your being the best thing in my life]" can't really serve as any kind of Concluding Remarks if the conclusion isn't just like "okay so we haven't reached a resolution but let's cut it out now"....it's fun how of course we can understand how then heidi would find it devastatingly hurtful for evan to be like "well it's not my fault other people can [give [me] more than that]" but it's also like welllll the only reason here it's Not true is because evan's (a) got his World Of Lies going on, which heidi doesn't know is part of this situation & (b) evan is looking for validation that he's Supported as a Child figure to the murphys in these pretty superficial ways lol as per the fantasy of the like ideal suburban untroubled nuclear family unit....cynthia's just Here, with time to cook, larry's just Here, with the willingness to impart his own interests onto evan, they don't know evan has [diagnosis: anxiety] going on, evan feels like he's making these parents feel Better and themselves validated as parents, via both his fiction about how connor was maybe happier than they know, and his performance about being this no-hassle no-problems no-friction child who's also just Here. unlike connor....like tbt like eh excise the part where evan does happen to be making things up to have gotten here, and like. is it so bad he stays at another family's house when his mom's out at work. would it be so [Bad poors] if the murphys paid for college for him. heidi clearly responding to this with a "sorry, our bootstraps, you know" reasoning but Really primarily rejecting it because she's thrown at the apparent realization that evan's Replacing her with the murphys, she's rejected as his Mother....as she makes explicit in the next scene, the I'm Your Mother & they're Not Your Family(tm) like. okay, and? again, she doesn't know evan Wasn't that secretly close to connor lol and part of the point of deh is these lies bleeding into truths from the start, and Why evan lies, which isn't just "b/c he's an evil sicko?" nor as an elaborate scheme to get at zoe though like, at this moment i'm trying to puzzle out what couldn't be improved by zoe Not being a murphy....
well anyways. the tension here being like "yeah when is One Person ever """"enough"""" for anyone else all on their own. why do we demand that happen" like How & Why. no single person could or should be Everything to someone else. we even see how like Two People really don't have the resources for their One Child together completely on their own, and why is it that it Should be whittled down and isolated as much as possible. wherein the costs of being a parent, one who is tasked with bringing up a child with as little external support as possible while also already getting little external support as an individual in the first place (which a spouse, again, One Person, is supposed to fulfill in any/all ways), is supposedly offset like "well the magic of parenthood will be (Should be. if you're a good enough parent (threat)) its own rewards....and btw the child is Yours. they're someone stuck in a house with you. you can have this fantasy about Who They'll Be and try to ensure they become that. sure you're in charge of them (a burden!) but also: you're in charge of them (you can be an authority figure in this one aspect of your life). you can Always have access to them no matter what, because of the fact that as soon as a child exists, you're Now & Forever Their Parent"....i'm your mother, they're not your family....how are cynthia's like Identity Crises that are expressed to her family through cooking resolved? well, so far as we know, they aren't, but hey she's not getting divorced. zoe implying that cynthia's problems are thanks to having nothing to do / not leaving the house, such that gee evan your mom's lucky she Has to work....while evan apparently feels like heidi at least in part is always going to work b/c she hates to be around him, since he's all like well i presume you're so Not Unhappy in being the Mother to my Child that that's why you're always at home, cooking every dinner....like, what happens there? does cynthia join a club? take up a hobby? is evan Right that it's chill being stuck at home if that household is happy (as is the "it's fine having women's lives be Staying At Home, if that household is good enough :)" ideal) like well not sure but the status update is: she's not getting divorced
anyways i'm arguing against the nuclear family including in its theoretical distillation of "well god a Parent & Child if that's the very best you can do" here lmao and uhh deh not so much since the mother & son aspect Must resolve, kind of like what's supposed to be required of the parent & child aspect irl. and not like i think it's terrible it Does resolve, or it shouldn't, in this Story, but it's a definite [shhhruggg] from me like yeah that's nice but like, what's evan have going for him besides "he doesn't think his mom hates him now" (better yeah) and "he has a customer service job" (like oh my god so sorry. is this supposed to be Better? like oh he can order pizzas now? idk we don't get enough detail. ppl just get a part time job like yeah it's fine. i also have part time schooling but i'm saying it's a year off?) and this is not disconnected from how i feel about the Evan Needs To Believe He Could Have The Theoretical Perfect Gf which has to be answered in the end by zoe like, yeah i Wish we could date without the history. alas....like, Huh. why is she saying this (a) as a character & (b) as the conclusion to this story? god knows, but not like we don't know the ideals of Romance are also considered keys to the success of the nuclear family, and are an interim goal even if you don't have the kids yet, or like a begrudged Alternate goal as the next most adjacent thing, being Single has to be as vulnerable as it is re: any material or emotional support as Needed, much less what is Wanted for any further fulfillment. down to destruct the nuclear family & romance in one fell swoop baby. pointing at the camera and deh you're first (this sentence is a joke, the previous one is humorous but fully in earnest. kind of like [jared & alana (especially alana re: the earnestness)])
anyways again this is all still vague lol just sure Noting how very relevant it is that evan is motivated by a sense of his responsibility in how he affects his mother's like overall emotional landscape. while heidi does derive / seek emotional support from evan. not like her kid can be Emotionally Irrelevant to her, or like there's no good & relevant way for evan to be aware of or interact with her feelings. or like all of this is saying the point i want to make is that heidi is terrible or something. the parent i'm firing out of a cannon & into the sun is larry though lol. like heidi, being a person, can be Imperfect, and have an imperfect relationship with anyone, including her son, and have feelings, and care about her role as a mother....and all this can Not be resolved by evan simply not hating her either, or by anything else All hinging on her son. like how idk how cynthia's gonna do better than she was even before she was a grieving parent when nothing's changed for her except that a manifestation of happier memories is i guess enough that her terrible marriage can be sustained lol. larry's arc starting out dismissive ending up dismissive, with some dismissiveness in between...an anti larry zone here for sure
meanwhile it's sure just Something that like, heidi transitions into this equivalent role with 2 of evan's Peers in good for you. other people having noted that heidi being previously Rejected & presumably also pretty much fully cut out of the life of her ex husband is playing into her feelings here: a relationship of hers with a Peer. just now as i type this being like hmm interesting to juxtapose this with [so big so small] moving Away from this perhaps by tapping into evan being like a very small child. while the murphy parents, again, find resolution in turn by remembering better times with also much younger than he was connor....aaand in both cases presumably less "difficult" children than when they're teens :I like i wouldn't have heidi Not be mad or anything, another whole point here is that i wouldn't expect nor demand deh to be like, issuing a Statement about "and everything you saw up here is a model of the ideal family experience okay," heidi can even feel petty about it or have whatever other reaction and of course she's gonna feel hurt but like when it comes to Good For You i'm like, alana's grievances? hell yes go off. jared's grievances? hell yes go off. heidi's grievances? yeah alright but actually i'm more so on evan's side on this one lol....even when this scene establishes a clear pattern of "evan is also being petty & hurtful to people on purpose with his remarks here as he lashes out at each of them as things come to a head and he's deflecting responsibility" like yeah. and i feel entirely sympathetic to jared and alana here and not Unsympathetic to heidi so much as there's very immediate limits to that and (a) i don't think shutting everything down Because We're Family / I'm Your Parent as a fallback to whatever you do To your kids or whatever you fail to do For them, is legitimate, positive, constructive, non coercive and (b) heidi does & has been looking too much to evan for emotional support. wherein, again, don't need to go "i guess it's b/c she's a terrible individual" when it's like, she lives in a society....what else Does she have? where else is she Supposed to get any & all emotional needs met outside the bounds of her household (family) and her role as a parent/mother?
which is not really unrelated to evan's situation out here wherein, where is He supposed to find support and get his needs met? he doesn't feel that [at home] is providing that, even with him at least in part blaming himself for that, b/c he's not a good enough child for his mother. he turns to school as an avenue for Friendship, and when alana doesn't singlehandedly fix his whole life with a Hi before homeroom, nor does jared, and btw connor wasn't gonna do that either even if the "again i'm sorry i pushed you" hadn't been [their interaction: gone to shit: 2], like uh oh once again One Person isn't being Everything by virtue of somehow the status of "friend" making everything inherently perfect, or, [making everything perfect] defining the status of "friend," see: For Forever. see: how in sincerely me you have jared & evan effectively discussing, by proxy & creative fiction & plausible deniability, the presence of Effort & Communication in a relationship, as well as pretty much laying out a mutual belief in / effort towards successfully Becoming the person you'd like to be through deciding on who that even is and then just like, trying to be them lol. a sentiment that could hardly be wholly dismissed, people having goals, inevitably changing so you may as well be trying to be growing, but that ofc they don't have the perfect ideas at 17 of who they wanna be, How to be that person, and they sure really don't have much support to draw on for whatever efforts, And this being driven too much by insecurity & self-loathing re: who they already are, no pressure from anyone around them....and evan of course ending up thinking well the only thing that could fix my life is Romance, a Gf. and then he's not only finding himself in a situation where he feels responsible for another mom's feelings (cynthia), and feels like how people can think of the concept of connor is how they can think about him, & As he's navigating those things he starts feeling like he's finding some of What He Needs, and he already felt like it was up to him alone to do that, so of course it all escalates / continues for the next like hour & a half....he Is isolated, they all are, and not just because like uh oh evan on that damn phone
and then idk it's like yeah heidi realizing evan was actually thinking She was gonna reject Him and she tells him she won't. and for some reason zoe has to crop up to reassure evan about his potential for romance in general; meanwhile she's doing fine b/c....her parents' marriage is doing better = they're going on dates = also how cynthia is doing okay? idk. and no status updates on the couple of peers who also had no friends, weren't dating anyone, and didn't really mention family except alana's grandmother having died and jared not telling his parents anything and then only mentioning them previously to basically avoid getting in trouble with them oh and also how they'll be gone for a weekend so he's inviting his boy best friend to hang out with him the whole time like HMM to all of that!!! like well i don't think deh is really Trying to reach the most Definitive Conclusions in its story & what it's exploring, and that's great b/c (a) yeah there's a lot going on in there! and (b) it sure doesn't lmao. and i would always be detached from & in disagreement with "idk but Nuclear Family & Nuclear Romance must be like, It, right" or "idk. just be more normal" lmao. where'd your gay little peers go for the past half hour. bring them back out here
anyways i said "vague" so that i didn't have to try to muster a thesis. like yeah just noting Evan Feeling Responsible For Moms' Feelings: His Own, & Connor's, as very relevant up to his mom reassuring him she can't Feel like rejecting him / doesn't hate him. evan making sure to Behave as conveniently as possible around the murphys, and around his mom as well; while what heidi tends to talk about is what evan can/should Do, including how he should be Trying to feel, and as ppl often notice she doesn't have great boundaries, and as i'm at least noting, does need validation from evan / puts her insecurity on him in turn where again up until so big so small she's worrying about him possibly rejecting her. though she does seem to be Over That upon realizing evan felt That Bad, actually, and like thank god yeah evan doesn't have dialogue about "yeah btw mom i will never disown you" lmao. can sure look at this as just like, well, some "doing the best with what one's got?" wherein uh oh we Don't have much support outside this household/family, so it's good to improve it....like yeah sure lol and would be good if it was good even if they did both have a zillion other important connections to turn to in their lives. again, let's destroy romance and the nuclear family. and a further improvement were if cynthia got a divorce and befriended heidi (awkward at first but idc. here: they meet at a social group for divorcees and go from there lmao)
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navree · 6 months ago
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glad you incorporated the infection aspect of aemond's trauma, because it's easy to forget since the show glossed over it, but there would've definitely been some kind of fever from a wound that severe! the show made a point of focusing on viserys' health deteriorating from being cut on the throne, but no one (aside from alicent) stopped to consider that aemond's health could've been on the decline from losing a freaking eye. oof! really appreciate the spotlight you gave it. ❤️
Yeah this is something I've been harping on for a while here on my blog. Aemond has a massive wound, which would take time to heal, in a period where infectious bacteria was rampant, and there was no adequate way to treat it. And considering that Viserys loses a hand whenever he gets a paper cut from the Iron Throne, it likely was a very legitimate concern that, with their limited medical capabilities, the massive cut being exposed to open air and likely taking a long time to heal would get infected, and could lead to further health complications or even death if it healed badly. Even nowadays, someone getting a massive facial wound like that would need to be really really careful to make sure it didn't get infected.
This is something I think a lot of people fail to consider about Aemond's injury and his feelings about it. It's not just that he got a painful injury for no reason, though that's enough for someone to be mad. It is that he then had a very long and likely slow recovery period, with a constant concern that he could sicken or even die from it. And then, because of the nature of his injury (losing an eye), he had to relearn how to do practically everything. His depth perception was permanently altered, so he had to relearn how to navigate in the world, how to fight, how to move, literally how to walk. Aemond is half blind now, and has been since the age of ten, and had to completely re-acclimate to the world and how to operate in it. And yeah, on top of that, at least a year was spent being very worried that he could catch any kind of disease as a result of the exposure the wound had to open air and how nonexistent medicine was, which could literally kill him. It's a miracle it didn't, and it's a miracle that he was able to adjust as well as he apparently has.
And that's why Aemond was entirely within his rights to be mad at Luke and demand at minimum an apology and some kind of restitution, and honestly Vhagar eating him was still too good for that kid.
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yergink · 2 years ago
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here's the thing. i fully understand that sometimes art is purposefully built to be taxing or amateur or difficult to engage with, and i can appreciate the intent behind those decisions, but at the same time sometimes it's just. it's just that you made a thing bad on purpose and now i don't want to keep looking at it. 
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imissthefire · 1 year ago
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the forging bonds supports omfg 🥺
#soren#my dear boy#seeing him interacting with himself when he was at his lowest after he's had time to heal and recover from all he went through... my heart#child!soren#really just needs support and someone who can listen even tho he can't say a word... soren and ike taking care of him... uncle ranulf#everything about it#i'm weak over this you don't even know#brave!soren#has grows SO incredibly much and the fact others have remarked on it (ranulf) and that he's being more patient and more tolerant#like yeah he's still got his acerbic and not-quite-approachable personality but he's not just running from everything or pushing it all down#i know i already mentioned ike but omfg seeing his ''feed soren'' instinct pop back out and how reliving that must be so emotionally intense#he's seeing the man he's watched grow and heal so much at his weakest again? knowing he won't forget it this time? FUCK!#i've seen tonnes of people saying how he and soren are basically coparenting him and i love that sm because yeah.gif the little guy needs it#like their b support in por when soren mentions how he never had a parent to help shape who he was or how he never was shown that affection#they know that even if this soren goes back to his world one day that he will go back knowing what it feels like to be loved and cared for#and b!soren basically telling c!soren that he's going to be okay eventually? CRYING IN THE CLUB#sure he didn't say that verbatim but yk. it's gotta hurt a lot to see himself in this position again i don't blame him for being cold to him#fuck!#i could go on#but i will call it here bc i will write an essay nobody asked for#maybe i will anyway in another post#or mayb consider actually posting my writing and put together a lil fic if i'm feeling bold 👀#either way#gabe rambles#fe#feh#fe heroes#cyl 7#fe9/10#nqp
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altruistic-meme · 2 years ago
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sometimes i wish my brain would pick One Subject and just do what i ask it to when i ask it to but alas at least im finally putting more into my doc for the Krissy post. 
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i gotta say that i'm grateful for food metaphors because a) they make What Codependency Actually Is way, way easier to explain, and b) they give enough of a buffer to explain said things without delving too much into gory details of one's personal experiences
#moogletalks#i am in the process of writing up a very long post about this. some highlights are:#a) codependency is not loving commitment. it is the opposite of loving commitment#codependency is not about being more than the sum of your parts together; it is not about keeping each other fed#it is about cutting off parts of yourselves and each other; it is about depriving yourselves and each other of food.#it is inherently about making you and your relationship /less/#b) codependency is a huge spectrum of traits; features; power imbalances; intentionality; toxicity vs abuse; and direction of the abuse#but what all of it has in common comes down to that.#c) codependency is care and support in the same way that crunch is productivity and love for videogames as an art form#d) why the fuck would you /want/ to do that to someone you love. why would you want to be a part of that process#e) on the flipside: why the fuck would you /want/ to taint someone's love for you by making it into a runaway train#and forcing them to watch helplessly as you park your car on the tracks in front of them and call it love#which. i /do/ know why. it fucking sucks so much and it's so hard when it feels like that's what love is. i've been there.#it's not. i promise you it is not. you deserve better and your loved ones deserve better; and better exists#f) people are unbelievably fucking cruel to codependency survivors and their allies who try to speak up and educate about the harm of this#because they want to sound cool and edgy and counterculture; and coo about their ships#and get clout off of dumbass '''profound''' aesthetic posts about devouring each other and living in a bog because it's Romance or whatever#instead of actually taking any responsibility for knowing what words mean and thinking about the things they say#because they didn't like the tone of some survivors who called them on it and therefore everyone who does is ~cringe~#g) the irony of this is that you stupid motherfuckers sound like people saying 'teehee i stepped on a leaf the intrusive thoughts won!!!'#there is zero difference here. none. you are being that guy.#and it is not any less harmful /or/ embarrassing when you are doing it to codependents instead of people with OCD#you're just embarrassing yourself on tumblr instead of tiktok#i am begging you. learn to take correction. just take the L#and admit that getting all your life advice from bogposts on tumblr is as dumbshit as doing the same with buzzfeed mental health listicles#abuse cw#ableism cw#codependency cw
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corkinavoid · 6 months ago
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DPxDC De-Aged Triplets and Their Tired Single Sister
Jason has seen the four of them a couple of times in Crime Alley now. They looked like a family, what with similar facial features- err, actually, the kids looked like carbon copies of each other, but their mom/sister/aunt/cousin looked similar enough to be related to them by blood.
Normally, Jason didn't care for each and every family that moved into Crime Alley. Sure, he cared about all of them as a whole, but there were a lot of people, and he couldn't possibly get elbow deep in every life story he came across. So all he knew about them were three things: a) they were on the run from someone or something, b) they trusted each other and no one else, and c) apparently, they have made it their life goal to never make any kind of sense.
The list of shit they have gotten into included but was not limited to:
• one of the kids biting a gun. Not the hand of the attacker who was holding it, no, the actual gun. And he bit a piece of it clean off, which earned him - or her, actually, Jason knew one of the triplets was a girl but he couldn't tell them apart - a lecture from their... mom? sister? parental figure. The lecture was about how chewing metal does not help with iron deficiency.
• getting kidnapped and creeping out their kidnapper to the point of him returning the kids back home. A few witnesses said one of the kids was actually driving, sitting on the kidnappers lap behind the steering wheel and cheerfully commanding the man to speed up or brake. Their mom actually apologized to the kidnapper for the incident and offered him homemade cookies for his troubles. He ran away without them.
• driving a lady at the laundromat insane by repeatedly walking inside and climbing into one of the washing machines. They never got out of it, just one kid walking into the laundromat, climbing into washing machine, then another kid, looking exactly like the previous one, walking inside, climbing into the same washing machine, then another kid walking into the laundromat- well, you get the idea. The lady claimed she's seen at least five kids do that in a row, but when she looked into that washing machine, there was no one inside.
• casually falling out of windows. Or, better, walking out of them like they were doors, at any given opportunity. The witness - an old man who was helping their mom with groceries - said the mom did not care in the slightest, and when he asked her about it, obviously concerned, she just said, tired and exasperated, 'they like the feeling of free fall, don't worry, they'll come back in a minute'. Sure enough, they did, not a scratch on them. The family lived on the sixth floor.
• eating insane amounts of food. Jason personally witnesses their mom give them her wallet, telling the kids, 'eat until you're full', and promptly passing out on the table, her head on her arms. The kids then proceeded to eat four whole pizzas, three burgers each, then seven brownies and at least five cups of soda. What was interesting about it was not only the amount of food they ate but the way they never left their mom unattended, one of the kids always staying beside her sleeping figure as the other two went to order.
And now, all four of them were standing in front of him. Not Jason Todd him, but Red Hood him. And he was... confused.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"I said, can you watch them for a few hours? Three, maybe four," the mom, Jazz as she introduced herself, was looking at him like it was he who was speaking nonsense, not her. Because asking a crime lord to watch three kids in the middle of the night is not something a sane person would do.
"Why?" He asks, bewildered, because what the fuck else is he supposed to say?
"I need to kill a man, and if they come with me, it will take three times longer," Jazz tells him. Is she saying the kids slow her down or what? Jason can admit he's never been this confused in his entire life.
"You could ask me to kill a man, while you stay with them, no?" He tries to reason, but the girl waves him off:
"No, that will take even longer. Besides, no offense, but you kill people to simply end their life, and I need that man to fucking stop existing forever."
What's the difference he almost wants to ask. But instead of that, he just sighs.
"Why me? I'm sure you could find a babysitter-"
"No babysitter will handle them. The last one told me they have been running laps on the ceiling, which is, actually, not that big of a deal. They are kids. Kids like running around," she huffs, and Jason suspects she is missing the point here, but okay. He gets why babysitters are not an option.
"You do understand what they can witness if they stay here?" He asks, as the last attempt to reason with the girl, but she just nods and leans down, making all the kids turn to her.
"Okay, you menaces, tell me what not to do while you're staying with Mr. Red Hood."
"No eating people," one kid starts.
"No driving people insane," the other one continues.
"No, um, stealing eyeballs," the third one finishes, and what the fuck are those ground rules? Is this girl a mother to eldrith horrors? That would explain some shit.
Jazz turns to him, "See? They're all good."
In what world is that good? Jason debates if he should start running now or when she leaves.
"Do they have names?" He asks instead. The girl nods:
"Danny." His surprise must be evident even through the mask because she sighs and points to each kid, "Diane, Daniel, Dante. Dani, Danny, and Dan. Actually, you know what, let's make this easier," she rummages through her bag and gets a marker out before gesturing to the kids, "Come here."
As they do, she proceeds to draw numbers 1, 2, and 3 on their foreheads. Then she nods to Hood and puts the marker away.
"Okay, that's better. Behave, you monsters, I'll be back soon!"
After she leaves, Jason looks down at the kids. They also look at him, eerie and unblinking.
Finally, one of them - number 2, Dani, if he is not mistaken - asks:
"Do you want teeth? We have a lot."
"She doesn't mean her teeth," number 1 clarifies, "She means other teeth."
...This is going to be some very long three hours.
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kaurwreck · 10 months ago
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I think you're right that it's significant, and I think Mori is clever to recognize that Akutagawa is a rook.
Like a rook, Akutagawa is powerful, but generally contained and often undercut by his predictability. However, because he's keenly aware of his own constraints, and because others often aren't (especially regarding variables they've internalized as known), he's able to play into and against his own predictability to paradoxically surprise them.
He moves within the confines of his rigidity to shape outcomes, sometimes more effectively than his more dynamic opponents and peers. Rooks do that too, if you let them.
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Me, knowing nothing about chess, probably overthinking the significance of referencing akutagawa in this scene, but is going to look it up later anyways
#i have very specific chess feelings and thoughts re: rooks (which is what that piece is)#because in elementary school i was in a program for intellectually gifted students - by which i do NOT mean an honors program#i mean i displayed several specific neuro characteristics and struggled in a classroom environment such that i was referred for screening#the results of the screening flagged me for several additional tests and my results on those tests then prompted a comprehensive assessment#which was conducted by a licensed examiner who additionally administered another test chosen specifically based on my prior data#the report from which triggered a review of all of the above data by a panel of specialists who determined that I was wired so atypically#that I required specifically designed support services to avoid an adverse impact my access to education#ie I was not considered academically gifted which is what people are usually thinking of when they talk about giftedness (esp on tumblr)#i prefaced with all of that to counter misconceptions and emphasize that i was not in a program for smart and highly successful students#i was in a program for students with distinct cognitive processing needs that could not be met without specialized intervention#but inanely and entirely b/c of misconceptions the administrators at my school forcibly registered us in an annual chess tournament#which they wouldn't let us opt out of b/c there was a funding incentive for the school if we advanced far enough#ironically chess is a bad fit for this type of giftedness b/c it's rote + relies on bounded conventions instead of creative problem solving#but anyway i did not want to fucking play chess especially not competitively - it's boring and gets redundant#so i intentionally threw all of my games to remove myself from the tournament early#except my fellow indentured chess competitors noticed i was doing that and they were also bored and didn't care for the tournament#and so several of them made a game out of forcibly advancing me as far as they could by outmaneuvering my attempts to lose#horrifically they managed to corner me into winning enough that i was in serious danger of advancing#and so i started AGGRESSIVELY practicing chess in my spare time to learn how to shape the board and get confident in my ability to do so#i played against computers and then strangers online for hours a day and i studied checkmate patterns and how to subvert + reconfigure them#all so i could play well enough to ensure i'd lose even when being actively sabotaged#it worked - i narrowly escaped advancing that year and I don't think they were able to lose to me again after that#they kept trying - even playing me outside of tournaments to try and figure out how i was consistently losing#it's b/c i layered multiple strategies that involved breaking select conventions + manipulating their focus and psychology#BUT the fulcrum of my approach relied heavily on my rooks and select pawns as my most valuable pieces#i got very good at using rooks to shape the board without placing them in a position to be captured until i wanted them to be#once i had a few pawns close to promotion i would shift my rooks into bait b/c once one was taken i could just promote a pawn into a rook#and because absent a potential stalemate people almost always promote pawns into queens#my opponent would forget my additional rooks and would make choices based on the implicit assumptions that my deputized pawns were queens#rooks are treasures
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