#they're wearing a mask because this experiment is toxic :)

[the-dye-stained-socialite]

experimental little piece of art with elias, also soing an experiment!!!!

[punkeropercyjackson]

Percy Jackson is peak autism.He's audhd so nobody thinks he can be autistic because he 'already' has adhd.He popularized the term 'troubled kid' in fandom,the irl meaning being 'minority kid who is abused by everybody for it and dosen't get their needs met for the same reason'.He was a bully beater and so set on standing up for others he got kicked out of 6 schools by 12 and it destroyed his self-eestem but he just couldn't stand down and let others be hurt and it escalated into him turning into a punk and a team parent with professional instigation,an overt sense of community and intersectionalism,unrestrainable anarchism and activism both mortal and mythological and he has 11+ books of street cred.He has a canon safe food-blue food-and a canon Resting Bitch Face.He hates 'truly mature interests' and is into kiddy stuff instead as a mix of natural attitude and childhood trauma coping but handles and understands serious and complex situations way better than self-proclaimed genius' without a need to brag about it or himself in general.His emotional regulation is in the bottom layer of Tartarus and his social skills are deeper below than Poseidon's characterization.He sucks at academics but is beyond smart in literally every other area.He's super kind and earnest in a way that gets called fake and offputting and naive in-universe by allistics yet also treated as actively threatning even though he's never done anything wrong.His sense of humor can only be achived by unmedicated adhd and undiagnosed non-stereotypical autism.He wears layers and is feminine in gender while being amab and worships women and is in heavy touch with everything of the sea and loves every kind of burger and sharks are his favorite animal and is just a he/she/they/neos egg waiting to crack in a glass closet.His foil is Abusive White Allistic Man Supreme(Luke)who talks down to him about radicalism and trauma when he's sheltered asf and an entire fascist.He can never tell when people are attracted to him because romantic norms don't filter into him as he thinks they're stupid and weirdly toxic and he's right but everyone treats it as a flaw out of normiehood.His found younger siblings,pseudo-kids and platonic soulmates by choice in every universe are also autistic as they're a socially awkward outcasted physically disabled accurately goth gay boy and a misfit creepy cute black middle school artsy weirdgirl with gems,horses and ghosts special interests that always mean as well as their dad,notably Percy and not Hades/Pluto,does but don't ever get believed just like him too.He's a mama's boy who hates his dad and his Mamí considers his differences to be a blessing instead of a curse and dosen't always understand him but never treats him badly for it either and supports and nurtures him all the way through.'Good Kid' from the Pjo musical is the anthem of abused by the system and at home audhd black kids.Percy Jackson is literally the audhd with no masking game experience

[heyitschartic]

I need to know what the fuck was going on with Amy and Bianca's relationship. And I don't mean how they got together or any boring shit like that. How did these two freaks try to do intimacy? What was them living together like? Were they acting out the fascimile of a normal couple: Amy comes back from the Wardens with Bianca trying to poorly cook something for dinner (her only experience is watching chefs when she ruled Gimel). Getting into a week-long argument over a dirty dish because Carol was potentially coming to visit the apartment that day (never showed). Was Goddess telling Amy shit about how she'd control her if she stepped out of line, half jokingly and half seriously, only for Amy to clam up and freak out because she wants to be in a position where she's completely out of control for her own actions and it is exactly the type of fantasy she could never admit to or enact.

It feels so weird to think about because both characters feel so difficult to really be in a relationship with someone else. They both seem like women that put up walls around themselves, masks to fit the roles they're expected to. Would they let those down together or were those things that were always staying up? They both understand they're never going to be able to do openness on the level a normal couple might expect, but is that really a deal breaker? It would be a hell of a toxic relationship, but it's not like either of them was ever going to be allowed something normal.

How do two women, so opposed to letting themselves just be honest and open and vulnerable maintain a relationship?

It had to be the sex. I mean, they absolutely had to be fucking. I give it a 100% probability that Bianca is a pillow princess, but Amy? Topping? Don't make me laugh. Best I can guess, Bianca makes her wear a strap then uses her powers to manipulate her. That girl is moving around like a Garry's mod rag doll cause Bianca got sick of waiting for her to get a good rhythym.

[klysanderelias]

(part one here!)

Today's installment will be all about my absolute babygirl of the Beam Saber game, Briar Finlay. She's the character I've spent the most time thinking about, the one with the most characterization and planning, and the one that probably no one will actually interact with 😭

First we have a piece from @anaizzzen-ut, a stellar artist who did amazing work with this one.

Briar is the leader of the shipboard security forces, and the whole idea of her character is how much that job sucks when you have teams of mech pilots. She's a footsoldier with an EVA suit and a non-penetrative gun in space, where she's the last line of defense for the ship and also the line of defense most likely to die messy, painfully, and slowly. In a couple of these commissions, she's wearing a rebreather mask - in a boarding action long before the campaign starts, a fire started and her suit was breached by the fighting. Due to smoke inhalation, but more importantly the toxic chemicals released by sensitive electrical components and complicated sci-fi materials burning, she suffered extensive damage to her lungs. Luckily there's a certain amount of sufficiently-advanced-equals-magic medical technology, so she survived, but she still needs supplemental oxygen regularly and fights with a full life-support system in her armor to keep her from suffocating, having seizures, etc. I love the smoking aesthetic but in absolute reverse using medical oxygen.

Another gorgeous piece by @nanariemi - the colors in this one are just spectacular.

Briar is such a fun character to rotate in my head because there's so much strong characterization that comes so naturally out of her concept as a combat character who is completely helpless 90% of the time. She can't do anything to protect the ship from other ships, and there's basically nothing she can do about enemy mechs. And of course, there's the issue of survivability - a mech pilot can have their mech melt down around them or explode in a fiery cascade but still eject and make it back home without a single injury. I'm so compelled by having a ttrpg campaign where all the players are mech pilots, and they're having to deal with this angry, rude asshole who has an extremely valid point - they don't have the same skin in the game she does, but they're the vaunted heroes and she's in the trenches. And I think a lot of good mech fiction makes that distinction - making comparisons between the gods of the battlefield and the little people underfoot, but also challenging those roles. Mech pilots literally CAN'T do the job she does. All that armor and missile pods and whatnot aren't going to keep all the people on the bridge from being shot by a normal-sized guy with a gun.

And here's another piece by @dhurain, of Briar in a quiet moment,

I think ideally I'd like to have an arc for Briar where she grows to respect and care for the PCs, while they open up to her and show her respect as well. I think it would be such a good roleplaying experience and a great narrative to have the characters have to rely on each other and see each others' strengths when the first interaction would be something like her disdainfully calling them 'toy soldiers' or something in passing in the hallway. And I think Beam Saber has enough interplay between the in-robot and out-of-robot gameplay that you could have scenes where the pilots are out of their mechs and having to fight alongside her, or where she's providing some sort of ground support for one of their missions and suddenly the lethality of mech combat to everyone not in a mech comes to the forefront.

There's another commission of her I have in the works right now that I won't post the WIP for but trust me, I'll be blasting that thing around once it's done because it looks great so far.

Anyway I'm love her your honor, she's my babygirl and I'm trying to spread out the commissions so it's not just ten of her and one of everyone else. And I'm doing okay! I only have... four... so far...

Finally, another cute thank you sketch from @dhurain!

[sweet-chimera]

The list of overly specific M!A's I thought of while helping a friend torture their muse

M!A prove thyself: Your muse falls back to one of their worst trait of people pleasing, living up to unobtainable standards and doing everything in their power, not limited to self destructive behaviours to be the perfecionist version of them that they know everyone will love better. Its includes vying for approval from toxic sources or not communicating with loved ones so your mask wont show

M!A Mirrored Synesthesia: Your muses limbs mimic the feeling and sensation of their worse injury physical or mental. If your muse has been shot they feel the trembling shooting pain all the time. If your muse has an amputated limb the remaining limbs tremble and feel numb

M!A Clean slate: Your muse is mentally back in a time in their life where they had less independence and volition then they currently do now whether that be child hood or a time of being manipulated, with no memories your muse should have currently. They will act and function in their current body as they would back then.

M!A Capgras syndrome: Your muse believes that most of the muses around them are out to hurt them. Be it they believe some muses have been replaced by evil clones, or that their friends are suddenly working against them and as enemies your muse now has a deeply seeded, innate, and unshakeable distrust and even fear of the people around them.

M!A impressionable: Your muse trusts and is loyal to another muse whole heartedly, having no reason to believe that their words or will is detrimental in anyway. What that muse says is truth, if they say jump yours says how high and if they said that all of your muses friends are a bad influence yours ask who to cut off.

M!A Worst Self: We're all very lucky that your muse took life's traumas on the chin and coped as well as they did. Where any lesser person would have been corrupted by them. Your muse will now respond to misdeeds done against them as nature intended. If they were wronged they'll want revenge and if they were hurt they'll learn the lesson that people can't be trusted and those in power are fulls. This can turn heroes who've learned to love and help people because of their trauma into villains. And turn villains who learned to be guarded or conquer that which hurt them into tyrants.

M!A Blank-Slate: Your muse has no memories or feelings to anything they are inundated with in their current life. With the exception of language and instinctual survival facts (You wear clothes, whats edible, language, ect.) they are a blank slate to every experience that comes their way for better or for worse.

M!A The Fates and Cassandra: Your muse is plagued with visions of effects of their past actions, what might be going on elsewhere in the world at the time, and/or hundreds of possible futures that they can live through or put others through simply by interacting with them. All of the what-ifs and mass amount of knowledge may be too much and overstimulating for them. When they tell other muses about what might happen in the future they're inclined to believe the opposite since your muse is spouting nonsense like a crazy person.

M!A Incorporeal: With the exception of clothes, your muse is nothing more then an apparition. They're a ghost in every sense of the word and while other muses might be able to see them, your muse won't be able to touch anything, feel anything, or be perceived by most muses unless interacting with them directly. Anybody who watches a muse interacting with yours (unless they're mediums or can see spirits) will perceive that muse as talking to themself.

M!A Selective hearing: Your muse can now hear the thoughts, feelings, and internal workings of the intelligent life around them. In a crowded space an unfocused muse will be bombarded with a chorus of loud inner thoughts. one on one your muse might hear what their friends really think about them.

[loveyourlovelysoul]

I don't feel safe at home. Since a year now. They don't beat me but their words cut, with a threatening tone. I can't go live alone. I don't know what to do. I tried showing them love despite this but it doesn't work. I'm tired of it.

First of all, I'm really sorry to read about this. Feeling safe in our home should be something everyone has to experience through all their life, no matter what. I don't know what they tell you or accuse you of, but it could be that they're simply throwing all their pain on you and not have it really against you despite some triggers they may get from you (and beware, I'm not trying to say they're right. At all. It's never right to project our own pain and traumas on others, especially when they have nothing to do about it -and generally it's all our own reaction to something-. But it can happen). And even when we respond with love, they may not change anything in their behaviour cause they're not used to it or won't get the reason behind it (sometimes because some people are differently sensitive from us or simply bc they are too triggered to see a different way to act and practice it). Ofc in such a situation it's normal to feel unsafe and wanting to go away: it gets to a point in which it becomes unbearable to stay in such a place and even boundaries we may put on seem not enough. We need to feel safe to live better and feel better.

Have you tried asking to a friend or some other family member you trust? Even just support in talking about/to the people you live with. I know not feeling safe doesn't help you in talking with those people and being vulnerable. And this all adds to you feeling drained by the whole situation, living on eggshells, constantly fighting for yourself, and having to dismiss the pain to turn it into love (this is what drains us the most in general): this is also what makes you so special and strong tbh. But you know it already, so back to your question. I had suggested once (but honestly it was a slightly different job-related situation) to wear a mask and pretend: in order to save ourselves, pretending the aggressor is "right" (meaning: asking what we're doing wrong, why, how should we do things, making them realize stuff while talking calmly... playing dumb too, if you want: they may not expect it) could do, but I don't thing it can work on the long term everyday as it may cause us to not recognize ourself anymore (we need to work a lot on ourself first and our on values). So probably this is not for you (also cause I am not sure what they do fr), but I'll leave it here still as maybe someone else may need it.

I am sure you have already tried but the only thing I can suggest you is to try and just recover some energy as for now: sleep, take naps... take a break from everything else and focus on regaining energies (even just a day or two). In the meantime work on creating your own safe place to reconnect with yourself and find your inner peace: even few moments everyday. Lock your room's door or just go out for a walk if you can (I'd say a vacation but not having money.... a one day vacation? Maybe nearby): leaving a toxic environment even for only an hour every day could help you breathe a little. And then try and see what it is something that you love doing: work on your passion on the thing that makes you feel good and relaxes you, and make it turn into a job. e.g. Write and send your writings/book to someone that may be a publisher or a journal (short stories), be bold. You never know. Don't give up/lose hope after the first no, even if you're drained. Keep sending until you get 2 or 3 yes. If you feel you don't have enough knowledge about your passion, study a little about it (you can find anything online) but trust me: you can build up your knowledge on the way. Just start. It'll help you get some money and maybe leave that place. Keep your focus on your goal and sure, it'll take some time to realize it, but if you happen to find the right person while you're being bold and showing off your abilities, it may even take less. I do hope this is your case tbh. Wishing you can be strong a bit more. Do not give up please. And again, try to ask for help to a close friend or anyone else if you can. I'm sorry but that's all I can come up with atm. Sending you a huge hug.

[khaire-traveler]

To add on to this, I had multiple people from Tumblr specifically literally abuse me and have left them several times simply due to toxicity alone. "Popular creators" on here (will not name names) have fucked me over in some serious ways as well.

I have religious trauma because one of my worst abuse (who I only met because of these communities) weaponized my belief/faith in the deities I worship and used these divinities for malicious purposes. It legitimately scares me to pray to certain deities now, even though the deities themselves have done nothing to make me afraid.

Religious trauma does not only come in the form of Christianity. It wears every mask and speaks every sacred text. Your experiences with religious trauma are valid.

This community can be extremely toxic, unwelcoming, and even straight up abusive at times. It's important that you are selective with whom you give your energy to and what you share with them. As always, practice online safety, but remember that you don't have to interact with someone if they make you feel uncomfortable.

This also applies to deities: you do not have to worship any deity that you are uncomfortable worshipping, even if they're popular with others. Just as with human beings, not every deity will get along perfectly with every human. Different people have different needs and wants, and sometimes that cleansed with deities which is perfectly normal and ok.

hey gang here's your reminder that the gods can give you religious trauma, that pagan and polytheistic communities can be toxic asf, that the gods can be horrible and horrendous towards you, it happens. polytheism isn't exempt from A. horrible people as a community and B. horrible experiences with divinity.

[twodoorsnotone]

RANT BELOW CW COVID/LOCKDOWNS

I think people who act like lockdowns were inherently a horrendous torturous experience are really cringe.

Like I'm not saying it was amazing but besides the fact it was necessary, it also was literally Not That Bad. Like don't get me wrong obviously for some it massively exacerbated issues that already existed in their lives, if they lived in toxic or unpleasant home environments, and that sucks but I'm not talking about them, because they're never the ones being little bitches about it.

I'm talking about the people who whine about how it took away all their freedoms and that it was the most horrifying time of their lives to have to spend more time at home and not go to the cinema or whatever idk.

Also. IT LITERALLY DID NOT LAST THAT LONG. People kept talking about lockdowns lasting almost a year or whatever when by month 2 or 3 you could literally meet up with people like. Speaking as someone who was clinically vulnerable I didn't get to do that shit so it's a little cringe to me when people who threw outdoor parties by the first summer act like it was the worst possible experience when some people out there still can't leave their homes because those assholes forced us out of lockdowns before we eradicated covid and now we have to kill so many more people indefinitely because meeting outside and wearing a mask was an insurmountable challenge for some people

[nalanzu]

Weiss Kreuz Episode 9: Schreient

We're on the second half of our cliffhanger episode, in which we might get some plot reveals regarding the Big Bad. When we left off, Weiss was investigating genetic experiments done by a company headed by Takatori Jr, who's in the doghouse with his father, Aya's Takatori, for being careless with his test subjects. Which, it's not that he wasn't careless, he let them just go the fuck home, although he did get their addresses, as evidenced by Schreient (his team of lady assassins) showing up to foil Weiss' efforts to thwart his dastardly schemes.

What the show thinks is important for us to remember is Schreient killing Tetsuya and then appearing in the hallway. They also get a nice rose graphic, presumably because they're women. Random aside, they've tried to name the team "Screaming" in German.

All of Schreient has boob armor and real tight outfits. I have some opinions on that, but this was the 90s in Japan, so. They sic a bunch of monsters on Weiss, who first declare they're not about to fight women and then run from the monsters. Omi doesn't want them to hurt the experiment victims, because they're innocent people. Ken hesitates. Yohji hesitates.

Aya murders the fuck out of the first guy and declares that this has been their job since they became Weiss. The rest of them also start murdering the experiments, who go down pretty quick. Schreient jumps in, and Weiss is straight-up defensive with them until Ken slices one in the face. Yohji pulls a very misogynistic toxic-masculine Fighting Women Aren't Pretty line out of his ass, and a helicopter arrives to pull Schreient out of the fight.

Yohji breaks the mask of the one lady assassin wearing one, recognizes her face, and hesitates. Aya sees Takatori Jr. flying the helicopter (can he not pay a pilot? This is not a man who has been given a personality that vibes with the kind of dedication and practice it takes to learn to fly a helicopter, but ok). He does not, however, fling a katana at it this time. Progress?

Cut to the helicopter landing at a gorgeous house. Schoen is the lady whose face Ken cut, Neu is the one with the mask and supposed to be standing guard, and Hell - as we already know - is the leader. Masafumi is apparently the mad scientist behind the genetic experiments and is perhaps quite brilliant after all. He was also behind the Freude experiment. Hell thinks he needs a break. Masafumi thinks he's got a brilliant thing going and he's not about to let it go - he thinks he's got immortality in a jar, and that the only problem with it is the fail-safe mechanism.

He's essentially doing nanotechnology with beakers, which. There is so much wrong with that I don't even know where to start (not even one microscope in the scene? we get deformed body parts in jars, but nothing to actually see the tiny things he's allegedly working on, JFC), but that's not the focus of the scene. They're just trying to be science-y and technobabble. (Self-propagating cells plus silicone equals finding cellular weakness and eternal life and, buddy, you just described cancer but with plastic.)

No, the important line is that he's been behind several of Weiss' cases and also that the devil is hunting him. Presumably this means Weiss. They're trying to be cute. It's not really landing for me, but that's ok.

Back to Weiss, Omi is not only leader and tech person and apparently the only investigator, he's also the medic, because he's bandaging Ken's arm where he caught a whip during the fight with Schreient. Omi thinks Ken was reckless. Ken does not give a fuck. I want to know what the fuck everyone else does, becasue apparently Omi is the only one pulling any weight around here.

Aya and Yohji aren't ready to let the mission go, even though Omi (who, as you recall, is severely sleep deprived and exhausted from doing literally all of the work last episode to find the lab, even though it was unsuccessful and they lucked into it anyway) says they destroyed said lab and they are fucking done, thank you very much. I'm kind of hoping, although it's not clear, that Omi knows perfectly well Aya is obsessing because it's a Takatori. Yohji, of course, wants to find Neu.

Aya and Yohji order Omi to find out where the helicopter went once he finishes bandaging up Ken. Oh my fucking god, you guys. Omi wants to know what Aya and Yohji are going to do; Yohji is going to get some rest. Omi is pissed. Super pissed. He is, however, going to just roll over and do what they want anyway. I am beginning to have some thoughts about their team dynamic that are less flattering than I Don't Believe These People Actually Like Each Other.

None of the boys are working at the shop the next morning, although Saya brought a snack for Aya, presumably to thank him for helping with her boyfriend. As you recall, his help consisted of instigating the murder of said boyfriend. Ah, well.

Aya has gone to visit his sister. Ken is working out. Yohji is in a cafe, remembering his old partner. Omi, of course, is the only one doing any actual work. He has discovered that the GSDF and the ASDF have both lost track of the helicopter but somehow has a photo of Masafumi and thinks it looks familiar. I have some Questions regarding the online availability of JSDF data.

Backto Schreient, Schoen has a scar and she's furious. She smashes a mirror. (It's been A DAY, of course it hasn't healed.) Hell is trying to take care of Masafumi again; they've been together for seven years, being all sciencey together. Masafumi thinks he's got everything figured out. Hell is absolutely on board.

The last member is named Tot, and she is absolutely supposed to be some sort of neurodivergent, on top of being the sexy baby trope. We see her in a field full of blossoming cherry trees, where she runs into one of Takatori Sr.'s assassins; he introduces himself as Naoe Nagi. Tot threatens him, if he hurts Masafumi. Nagi came looking for Tot, he says, because she's weird AF and he thinks she might be lonely.

Tot explains that her biological father was a scumbag and Masafumi and Schreient are her family now. Nagi responds to this by generating wind to blow the cherry blossoms around beautifully. He catches some flack from two of his assassin teammates for his teenage crush, but he's Committed to Takatori Sr. This feels like a very clumsy attempt at some foreshadowing and I'm pretty sure Tot is going to end up matching her name (German for "dead").

Cut to Crawford being extremely smarmy at Takatori Sr, who is snarling that someone needs to clean up the crime scene before the police implicate his son in something. Takatori wants zero blowback, but he also has lost patience with his kid entirely. Crawford is of the opinion that the situation will resolve itself with no further input. As Crawford can see the future, Takatori is willing to entertain the idea.

Aya has gone to harass Manx about Masafumi's family ties. Manx is like, LOL We Missed That. Aya points out that Weiss managed to figure it out, which is honestly a pretty solid burn, and says that he joined Weiss for one thing and one thing only - revenge. He will absolutely go up against Persia to get what he wants. I would also like to point out that Omi has been staring at Masafumi's face trying to figure out who he is, and Aya has apparently not told him. Meanwhile, Manx and Persia think they may be losing control of Weiss.

This is not a goddamn team, oh my fucking god. Fandom was so, so wrong. Also, Our Field Team Is Out Of Control does not seem like a positive development, but Manx and Persia are treating it with zero urgency.

Schreient is stalking some poor bastard in the mountains who appears to be just trying to fish in peace. Masafumi is hunting test subjects. His concoction instantly turns the guy into a monster, which is extremely hard to kill (they have to literally set it on fire) and Masafumi declares that his failsafe mechanisms aren't quite satisfactory. I agree with his assessment of the results of this particular iteration.

Back to Manx and Persia, she brings him to a bed in which another monster has been restrained under nine straps. It's the Kritiker agent they set to watching Masafumi, who first went missing and then turned up mutated. He's not alive, technically, but he still responds to stimuli. That's actually quite creepy.

We go back to Omi, who's asleep in front of his computer, because - again - he is the only one here who does any actual work, and a voiceover of Masafumi telling Schreient that they're ready and they just have to check the safety mechanism. I don't think we've seen a successful test so far.

Weiss sets literal explosives and breaks into the mansion. Masafumi is now cowering in his lab, asking if the devil has come for him. Weiss dramatically faces off against Schreient, one on one. Aya does not give a shit about Hell, except that she's between him and a Takatori. The rest of them are bantery.

Aya slices Takatori down the back, but all that does is releasethe tentacles. Takatori turns into a giant monster with way too many mouths in all the wrong places. There are also tentacles. And fur. He declares himself to be a god and smashes Aya into a piano over and over again. I do not think I am supposed to find this funny.

Yohji and Neu realize just a little too late that there are a bunch of tanks of oxygen about to explode and the house is really on fire now. Everyone rushes into the room where Masafumi is trying to literally tear Aya apart and there's a brief moment of horror on everyone's part. Schreient rallies around Masafumi pretty well, until Hell realizes the failsafe mechanism was incomplete.

I - of course it - Ok. Ok. The house is literally collapsing around them, but Schreient is trying to save Masafumi. He starts murdering the fuck out of his own team, because not only is he going to create his own world, he is going to be the only person that lives in it. Honestly, this is the most relatable thing anyone has done all series, because if I didn't have to talk to other people, I wouldn't either.

There is a Very Dramatic moment of Masafumi dangling Omi upside down, pausing, and calling him Mamoru. Omi is distracted by this from his imminent doom. Aya ruins the moment by shrieking TAKATORI and rushing in with the katana. The house is literally collapsing around them. And also on fire. With all of them inside.

We do not at any point see Weiss escape the burning building, but we do know that Masafumi impaled Hell and that part of the building fell on Schoen. Takatori Sr.'s assassins watch from outside and declare that Weiss is pretty good at this shit. End episode.

The pseudo-science of the episode aside (really, my biggest beef there is the whole doing nanotechnology with beakers and bunsen burners thing, because clearly none of the writers know shit about any sort of science), I'm not sure why Masafumi felt that his concoction was any sort of ready. As we all remember, he has not had one successful experiment. They repeated the word failsafe multiple times, which, this doesn't really have any meaning, but we're handwaving All Of The Science anyway, but like. My dude. All of your test subjects turned into some sort of monster, and the later ones were more monstrous than the earlier ones. They were moving farther away from looking human. What the actual fuck possessed you to apply it to yourself??? But he was also characterized as Not Stable, so given that he was backed into a corner by his own experiments not performing up to par and his father's censure and that we're getting short on runtime, I can see where that came from.

The disappointing part of this set of episodes, for me, is Schreient. I love the concept of the lady assassins as counterparts for Weiss; I'd completely forgotten that they existed. But we're getting some really misogynistic tropes mish-mashed together and played absolutely straight. Hell has no agency of her own and is - despite being the nominal leader of her team - absolutely committed to Masafumi's goals and vision. At no point do we see her express any sentiment that doesn't revolve around Masafumi.

Schoen - as the name suggests - has one defining characteristic, and that is her gorgeous face. She is obsessed with her own face. It's incredibly shallow and also a well that has been dipped into over and over and over again by men writing female villains. There's absolutely no personality here outside of narcissism, and while that does have some dramatic potential, it is not explored.

We've talked a little bit about Tot and the sexy baby trope; on its own, this trope is something I find incredibly creepy. It's less that I want to throw the word pdophlia around, and more that the greater social context for this is the male idea that they need to lock down women before they develop their own minds and personalities and opinions. The woman has to be Innocent (which means she has to let The Man decide what's best and is not allowed to have her own opinions or agency or motivation and while she does this she has to be cute), but she also has to be Sexy so we know she's an adult. It's oppressive, and it's gross.

It's worse when Tot is presented - via babyish speech patterns and childlike wonder and extremely simple thought processes - as definitely cognitively impaired to some level. There is a question as to how competent she is, mentally speaking, and there is absolutely no question that she is being taken advantage of somehow. It's not implied that Masafumi was sleeping with her, but Nagi definitely wants to. Ordinarily I would say that this is supposed to demonstrate that the villain is, in fact, monstrously villainous, but the narrative does not go there. The closest thing we get to introspection on Tot's relationship with Masafumi is that he's a savior and a father figure, from her point of view. There is no depth to this portrayal, and I cannot vibe with it.

I do still enjoy parts of this episode - and I still like the previous episode - but yeah, Schreient is disappointing in the extreme. I did appreciate that we have confirmation that Kritiker is bigger than just the people we've seen on screen so far, though.

[soulshards]

I don't know if you take none prompt questions (feel free to delete if not) but I'm interested in hearing about your experience writing a character with a mask! You expounded on it some in a previous ask, but do you find it challenging? Do you enjoy it? Is it draining to RP sometimes?

Almost clicked delete on accident, heh. Hi! Thank you for the ask. I don't really get non-prompt asks, but I have nothing against receiving them. I might just waffle a lot. I have many thoughts and clumsy fingers that cannot express my ideas the best sometimes, but I'll give it a shot!

I've RP'd characters with a "mask" before, in a way. I like writing characters who, on the surface aren't always what they seem, and have some kind of reveal (dramatic or otherwise) that might then impact other OC's, negatively or positively. One of my first (and longest played, coming up like 5/6 years now?) OC's in FFXIV was a Somnus addict, and the person who she was underneath all that toxicity was largely different to how she had come to portray herself... which in itself, was a mask.

And I think we, actual people, are kind of like that too. Not as theatrical as it may be in written, fictional universes, but you get me. We all sort of have a mask we wear. At home, at work, with friends. The person who I am at work, for example, is different to the person I am at home. They're similar but some minor things change here and there that might only be noticeable to people close to me. I'm not out here saying no one is truly themselves, and that we're all lying to one another about who we really are - nothing so negative. Just that, I guess - god I'm waffling I'm sorry LMAO - I think something deep inside us, back into our ancestors, in our cores, there's a instinct there to be apart of something; a group, a tribe, if you were. And in order to be accepted into those tribes we maybe have to act a certain way, or do a certain thing - now days those tribes are so vast and diverse it's done a lot less, or that you can usually find a tribe more fitting to who you are, rather than having to mould yourself around something else. Thanks internet, blah blah blah. But.

I find it interesting. I like watching people, and how they change around others. I try and stay as genuine to myself as I can, but I'm also aware I'm not impervious to this instinctual sway to simply "belong" to something... but I can see how people can change so quickly from one to another, and I don't even think they realise they're doing it sometimes. So. Anyways. Yes. I enjoy RPing someone who wears a mask so deeply, as I get to think about these things. It makes it interesting to have to think about how they would react, and how they should react and apply them to the right situation. But emote in such a way you can almost taste the disdain from the words used, or the expression that would be on Miahka's face; there's a challenge in figuring out what would and wouldn't break that mask, or make it drop, if but for a split second - were someone to say something, you see a flicker - and then it's gone. It's challenging to pick the right mask she might use for a situation, or whether, something I explore actively, if any of these things are masks at all and simply just who she has become?

To end this absolute mess of an answer, the only thing "draining" (less that, and more just... fussy) about it is well, keeping up with it all. When having multiple RP threads going on at once, and she's acting differently in each one, it can be hard to keep up with lmao. And here I am sitting here like "yes I would like more people to RP with and MORE THREADS MORE" because I just love making my own life hard, heh.

Thank you for the inpromptu ask @kiaranwrath! I hope my mess of thoughts is coherent enough..... :eyes: @ self.

[ambitiousblackfeminist]

Enter the Portal of Self-Love

Definition of portal Merriam Webster

1 : door, entrance especially : a grand or imposing one

2 : the whole architectural composition surrounding and including the doorways and porches of a church

3 : the approach or entrance to a bridge or tunnel

Everyone stumbles upon the body positivity movement in their own way. Props to Lizzo for being a modern and hyper-visible voice, but shout-outs go, as well, to the LGBTQQIA umbrella family, tattoo and body art world, and sex workers, who all remind folks about the importance of autonomy and choice in presenting, describing, transforming, sharing, denying, withholding, and protecting our bodies as they are and as we want them to be.

Some people land on body positivity almost effortlessly. There are those that land on it as children - blessed with some kind of self-esteem compass that guides them through the dark times or looks and aesthetics that match the approval of the social norm. Some people find it emerging from the torture chamber many call adolescence. Others find it as intimate encounters turn into better relationships with one's own body and movement, or as we encounter peers who teach us directly, and indirectly, other definitions of self-love.

For those who grew up watching stars like Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Alba or Halle Berry being praised as curvy, who watched and heard girls in our class participating in rituals associated with anorexia and bulimia at the same time as the rise in the waif aesthetic in Hollywood and Milan, and whose souls were shamed when outsiders commented on certain parts of their (our) bodies or the way clothing fit them (us), today's era of visibility, as far as different kinds of bodies, is the oxygen mask many of us needed. Yes, there is room for additional representation and subversive attacks on auto-norming "thick/thicc" bodies, - such as only featuring plus-sized models with flat stomachs and round hips despite bellies, guts, and fupas being common in women wearing similar sizes, but I still call it progress.

I am one of those people who grew up taking in, internally battling, and, to this day, working to fight the demons singing toxic songs about better bodies, inept beauty, acceptability, and respectability. But I scored a victory, recently, when I walked through a digital doorway and entered a new world, from which I haven't turned back since: The Pink Portal. I think I know the person who posted the first announcement or promotion I saw. I think. Either way, as Merriam Webster describes in one of its definitions, portal means "the approach or entrance to a bridge or tunnel," and this couldn't be truer of the black women-owned lingerie shop. From the moment I saw the first graphic, I saw thighs that looked mine - or that of my friends and family members - breasts that fit bras and bodysuits in ways similar to mine - or that of my friends and family members - and intimate-wear outfits, makeup, and styling choices that reflected those I sometimes choose - or those chosen by friends and family members.

Like walking into a family reunion or popping up at a homie's cookout, arriving at The Pink Portal page has a unique way of hugging you with a sense of familiarity, while also beckoning you to take bigger strides in loving yourself. It is because of this very personal reason that I have decided to use 3 AM IS THE NEW BLACK to highlight the work they're doing, the product they're selling, and the event where you can see it all for yourself. Enter the portal, and join the founders, models and supporters for “The Pink Portal Experience,” a gathering that will “showcase pieces and styles from [their] collection as well as other designers and boutique owners.” The event is scheduled for September 24, 2021, from 7:30-10:30pm in Providence. Tickets are available through Eventbrite (https://bit.ly/2WNalXp) or using the attached QR Code.

Browse their merchandise and read testimonials on www.thepinkportal.com. And follow @3amblack on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook all month long to follow our partnership with The Pink Portal, and to catch fun tidbits leading up to their September 24 event.

Sunshine and laughter,

Reza Rites, Publisher/Editor, 3 AM IS THE NEW BLACK

#RezaRites #3AmBlack #ThePinkPortal #SelfLove #BlackGirlMagic #CarefreeBlackGirl #BodyPositivity #fashion #Providence #RhodeIsland #NewEngland

[devilinsheepswool]

Obey Me! MC Character Sheet

Thanks to @kyungi-i for the spred sheet! I've seen others do it and thought why not me?

Name: Alisa Moreno

Nickname: Ally, Lisa, Li-Li, Al, Isa, Moreno

Age: 18

Height: 5'3

Weight: 170

Race: Human

Gender: ♀️

Birthday: April 13

Star Sign: Aries

Hair Color: Brown (pink streaks)

Eye Color: Brown

Skin: Brown/freckled

Demon brother, she is most to least like:

1. Levi

2. Belphie

3. Satan

4. Lucifer

5. Beel

6. Mammon

7. Asmo

Personality: she's pretty cynical and pessimistic, she also seems very aloof but somehow has a way of knowing a little bit of everything that's going on. When she wants to be she can be very observative and dedicated to her work, otherwise, she can come off as lazy, or disinterested just as much as aloof. Her snide personality comes off subtle mostly due to her wallflower and nerdish appearance. And she does have trouble getting to know other people due to her self-consciousness, low self-esteem and social anxiety; all of which she masks under witty remarks, jokes, and sarcasm. She puts up walls and its difficult to get to know her past surface level, despite it all Lisa does have a soft side and softens up around people that have a natural kindness and positivity about them or are straightforward. She has a good sixth sense, which helps her be an extremely good judge of character more often than not she is correct about her intuition regarding others' intentions towards her. Lastly, she has a bad habit of acting out and deliberately going against authority, she doesn't like feeling controlled and being told what to do. She'll usually follow the rules because she can't be bothered with the effort to break them but if she feels like someone's trying to control her or that she's being patronized then she will deliberately go out of her way to break the rules.

Background: Before coming down to Devildom, Lisa, despite only being 18 had already finished all her schooling, including higher education. Back on earth, she was recognized as a child prodigy in her research on historical documents and records, despite her early achievements at such an early age, the pressure of being placed on such a high pedestal career-wise eventually got to her and she fizzled out. Growing up an orphan without a past or family, the academy she worked for and her work was all she had, after she cracked due to the pressure she ran away hoping to live out the youth she felt she had never experienced in childhood. At age 16 she was a runaway and going under a different name. She lived on the streets and squatted in abandoned buildings for a few months before she met some people that offered to help her. During this time she developed an interest in music seeing as the people who helped her were a musical band full of teens just like her.

In order to stay with them, she lied to them about the truth of who she was and why she ran away. She stayed with one of the band members she had become close to during her initial days of having met them. While she stayed with them she learned how to play several instruments and eventually sing as well. She went on to perform with them but after two years of playing with them musical difference surged and a fight broke out, after which Alisa decided to run away again. It was during her second night of squatting in an abandoned house that she woke up in Devildom.

Hobbies: Music; Singing, Electric Guitar, Violin.

Likes: Sweets, Reading, Music, Animals, Writing, Video Games and drawing.

Dislikes: Liars, being lied to, math, meddling (Ironically), cruelty, injustice/unfairness and short tempers. Words that sound one way but are spelled another, or that sound like they mean one thing and then mean something else.

Appearance:

She's fairly average height. She's on the plump side, with a rounded face that makes her look baby-faced. She has freckles but due to her brown skin they're difficult to notice. Her eyes are rounded and large despite the dark circles brought on by years of bad sleeping. Her hair is short in a bob cut and wavy/curly, usually, she has a singular braid running down her left side. She wears glasses to see and prefers to wear loose-fitting clothing except for at performances. She tends to dress on the nerdy side.

Casual Clothing -

• Top: Sky Blue sweater rather loose fitting sweater over a white button up blouse.

• Bottom: plaid moss green skirt. Over the knee length, style is somewhat pencil skirt. Black tights under skirt.

• Shoes: Brown Boots.

• Accessories: star-shaped hair clip, silver necklace with a star pendant, a bunch of woven, or leather, or beaded bracelets. 

• Glasses: Yes. Black plain.

Uniform:

Alterations?

Not many, she wears the uniform properly a skirt version with the same black tights underneath the skirt. And a light blue tie on her uniforms blouse.

• Mother: N/A

• Father: N/A

• Siblings: N/A

• Pets: A black cat she adopted during the first time she ran away, she found her in one of the abandoned buildings fed her and the cat kept following her after that. Her name is Pandora.

• Friends: Prior to joining the band Alisa had none, after joining the band she made 2, Lydia and Florence. The lead singer and drummer of the band, respectively. She stayed with Florence and her grandmother during her time in the band.

• Past Relationships:

She had a mentor/advisor who eventually became a colleague when she finally started working with the academy. She was very close to her and was her only actual relationship. Her relationship with Dr. Aver was the closest she's ever had to a familial relationship. In the early stages of their relationship Aver became endeared with a rather small and young Alisa and tried to offer her the closest thing to a family she could through her and her husband. While they had a solid well-going relationship, they hit an obstacle when Aver was offered a position teaching at a highly prestigious institution abroad. Aver tried to keep connected long distance but it all came to an end when Alisa ran away.

Alisa dated three times during her time in the band the first relationship was bad from the start and ended badly, the second and third one ended with Alisa self-sabotaging herself due to the first bad experience. All occurred relatively back to back during the first year and half of her being in the band.

The first one though was the longest one, which lasted for 9 months. The last two were relatively short-lasting about a month to two each.

Sexuality: Unsure, possibly Pan.

Have they been in love before?

Because of her first toxic relationship and overall young age, at the time Alisa is hesitant to say that she ever was truly in love in any of her past relationships. But she was the most heartbroken with the ending of her 3rd relationship. Prior to her third relationship, the other two were mainly out of curiosity for exploring with dating than actual love.

How easily do they gain crushes?

Not easy, she wasn't aware of her feelings towards her third (future) partner until she was in her second relationship, her feelings for her 3rd future partner had started amidst her 1st relationship when it started going downhill.

Do they believe in love?

She doesn't really have an opinion on it, she's rather cynical and with her negative past experiences you would think she doesn't believe in it anymore if she ever had, but honestly, it's not something she's thought about that much. She's just experiencing life as she goes, maybe someday...

What's their type:

Alisa is the type of person to look for what she's missing in her life in someone else; she's typically drawn to kind, warm-hearted people, more likely than not optimists with positive personalities. You get the sense that she's into the "angelic" type (thus her third ex/first love) with a strong moral compass always set on doing right. Of course, this being her type doesn’t mean it’s what suits her the best. Mixed with her low self-esteem, a relationship with her ideal type may turn out to be hazardous as she might end up over-idealizing the person or self-sabotaging once again due to low self-worth as well.  

Which of the 7 brothers is her favorite?

That's a tough one she likes both Mammon and Levi but couldn't pick a favorite between both. Although Beel is also a strong contender for her favorite.

Why?

Mammon, despite not being honest about what he truly thinks about her is easy to read and has always been there for her when she's truly needed him, he's stepped in to save her multiple times and she knows he clearly worries about her. She's grateful to him despite his antics, and is able to look past the big cool guy/bad boy facade he puts on and appreciate him for being there when she really needs him.

Levi, she actually sees a lot of herself in him. Especially, a lot of her from prior to her first run away. She relates to his hermit-like personality because prior to running away she was like that as well. She can also sympathize and empathize with his obvious insecurities and wants to more than anything be there to reassure him and help become more secure of himself. Despite not being a total weeb like Levi, during her time in the band she did develop some interest in anime and manga, just not as passionate as Levi's.

What do they look for in a partner?

Ideally, she likes kind-hearted, empathetic people but speaking practically she'd prefer an honest straightforward person easy to read that doesn't try to play mind games or control her. Someone patient and that can reassure her when she doubts herself, and most importantly someone that will call her out when she needs to be. She doesn't want someone that will coddle, pamper, or try to spoil her like a little doll and let her get away with things that are prick-ish. She's good at keeping herself in check but she'd like the reassurance that someone will call her out if she slips up without noticing.

General -

Fav. Food: Tamales, but she also loves Cheeseburgers and Milkshakes.

Least Favorite: Meatloaf, Eggnog, Rasin Muffins, Salmon.

Favorite color: blue & green

Least Favorite: White or Neons

Sociable or Recluse? Both, she can be something of an ambivert but prefers to be more reserved due to her majority introvertness.

Favorite Movie Genre: Droll Comedy, or Action Political Thrillers/govt. conspiracy, K-drama's

Reader or not? Very much a reader, liked it and eventually it was what her job required of her in order to conduct her research.

Favorite Animals: She likes cats and dogs, but she also has an ample love for animals of all kinds but especially the ones that can be found in the woods; Owls, Raccoons, Wolves, Crows. Her favorite however has to be the Fox.

Favorite Music Genre: Rock, though she's big on ceremonials and sea shanties as well, and loves testing her vocal range with gregorian chants and Hymns.

Least Favorite: Country

Do they like sweets?

BIG YES.

Do they like spicy food?

👌👌👌👌

Do they like school?

Not so much like but she was good at it, and a majority of her life was dedicated and depended on it, overall she doesn't have bad memories about school perse, so I guess you could say that she does.

Pet Peeves:

Loud food chewing, bad breath, meddling in her business, being patronized, people pointing out her baby face, people trying to manipulate, use or lie to her.

[visceravalentines]

Munching on this like popcorn omg. I am not this anon, but I'm so desperate for House of Wax discourse here are some of my thoughts about your thoughts, feel free to ignore.

You know the man is fishing for compliments like a lifeline at every opportunity. Self-entitled as well, being told he was special and talented all the time can make a kid's ego burst to the mountains.

I think he's like this in canon, but the ego is affronted by the treatment he's received because of his scars, and so they sort of...balance themselves out. If he didn't have the scars? My god. We think Bo's arrogant because he knows he's pretty. Vincent would be insufferable because he knows he's perfect.

Higher praise also meant harsher punishment. Vincent didn't have to experience much to know, Bo was the perfect example of the consequences of misbehaving.

Thanks, I hate this. Bo as the whipping boy for Vincent even moreso than he already was?? Dealing with the soul-crushing reality of feeling unable to show his face, being dependent on Vincent to craft him a mask to hide his scars, and having no talent, and a proclivity for misbehaving? How would he even survive in that house? Ugh and Vincent genuinely protecting him, sticking up for him because he does love him, but also honestly thinking Bo should be grateful to him for it because he's got a god complex. I think they'd end up at each other's throats more than they already do because Bo would be such a seething mass of bitterness and self-loathing even more than he already is.

Maybe him making the House of Wax was a direct or indirect way of desecrating the art of his mother.

Okay I've actually considered this in the regular universe. I think the use of human remains in the figures came after they preserved Trudy in wax out of guilt/obligation/spite and even as they are in some way trying to fulfill her lifelong dream, the way they go about it is a big middle finger to Mama. BUT WHO KNOWS. Just glad to see someone else thinking along the same lines!

He is the head of the house in this au and has the family ring, he became what Victor and Trudy wanted, it's natural he would be the one to inherit take the ring for himself 👀

Oh my god you know Bo has my heart duct taped to a chair because the way this made my guts flip. That is Bo's ring dammit. Thinking of Vincent wearing it makes me feel some kind of way. Give it back >:(

Oml, Trudy and Victor having an argument because one wants Vincent to be an artist and the other one wants him to be a doctor!!! Bo and Lester watching from the sidelines, no expectations for the two of them whatsoever.

THANKS I HATE THIS TOO. Poor babies. And Vincent's like "Guys...it's okay. You don't have to be anything. I'll take care of you." And Bo and Les are like that's not the goddamn point. Vincent being so toxic and possessive of his brothers to the extreme because his loyalty mixes with his arrogance and when push comes to shove he goes one of two ways: he either comes through for them no matter the cost because they're his brothers, after all, or he becomes just as cruel and selfish as their parents because he decides they're holding him back and he'd be better alone AAAAAHHHHHHHH.

Thank you for this delicious meal on a Saturday morning. I haven't even had my coffee yet but I got a full buffet of thoughts to think all day. <3

I need more reverse au in my life. Bastard Vinny has to be the greatest thing in my life atm.

THANK YOU!

GLAD TO HEAR THAT!

I love a soft Vince, don't get me wrong but the boy has so much unresolved, inner rage that manifests in the worst ways possible and makes him commit atrocious acts of cruelty <3

I don't have shareable art atm but I can provide you with how I see Vincent being if his face wasn't attached to Bo, and instead was "the pretty face" of the two.

I'll also be sharing stuff that I spoke with @hersweetrevenge about it, because her brain is super wrinkly and big.👀

Anna, please feel free to add stuff if you like!

In this AU, I see Vincent being more confident, snobby and arrogant, he acts "humble" but you know the man is fishing for compliments like a lifeline at every opportunity. Self-entitled as well, being told he was special and talented all the time can make a kid's ego burst to the mountains.

I also see him not being able to handle criticism whatsoever, it's his art and he decides the value. He worked hard to get there, so no one is allowed to dislike his work and put a value on it.

The two songs I would connect with Reverse AU Vincent would be "Love Me Love Me Love Me" by Kikuo and "Being low as dirt, taking what's important to me" by Tuyu. I recommend just reading the lyrics just to have an idea.

Much like OG Bo, Vincent becomes the "face" of Ambrose, he is the one interacting with the victims most of the time. He is still a loner and more on the reserved side, finding more solace being in the basement than anywhere else but much like OG Bo, he has to do the facade of being nice and welcoming to lure future projects.

I also think Vincent can get away with being "weird" because he is an artist after all, and artists are sometimes eccentric.

He has too many knives? Weird but they're really detailed and might be for decoration or material/wax cutting!

He stares too long at someone and is being kind of a creep? Oh, he is just admiring the symmetry of their face! Artists like to people-watch.

His face twists in a bitter scowl if an artstyle he likes gets dunked on? Artists are passionate but sensitive souls.

However, I am of the opinion that the pressure from his mother was much more intense compared to the OG one. He was everything that she wanted; brains, looks, and talent but she still demanded more of him. Vincent had to keep up with what his brothers couldn't do or be. The pressure of being the "perfect son" and "the Sinclair pride" made him snap in a way, but it was more lowkey, less explosive than Bo's but horrible regardless. He was treated better, but their parents' love wasn't unconditional, it never was. Higher praise also meant harsher punishment. Vincent didn't have to experience much to know, Bo was the perfect example of the consequences of misbehaving.

He loves his mother, but he holds a deep resentment towards her. Maybe him making the House of Wax was a direct or indirect way of desecrating the art of his mother. His mother wanted a super talented kid that did everything she asked of him, but she is gone now. Now he is that, and much better.

Vincent feels pity for Bo and treats both him and Lester "nicer" compared to canon Bo but he still has a hold on both of them. He is one of the few who truly loves and cares for them after all. He doesn't mistreat them or yells at them but he can be a little condescending at times in a "I'm so kind to you all and I'm doing what's best for you. Sorry you don't appreciate my worry! 🙄" kind of vibe.

He is the head of the house in this au and has the family ring, he became what Victor and Trudy wanted, it's natural he would be the one to inherit take the ring for himself 👀

Oml, Trudy and Victor having an argument because one wants Vincent to be an artist and the other one wants him to be a doctor!!! Bo and Lester watching from the sidelines, no expectations for the two of them whatsoever.