#they're usually so weirdly in sync

[when-jaguars-are-sick]

Ahhhhh, yes!!! They're finally together! And they're adorable, and such idiots in the best way possible!

That felt as classically *them* as possible, dramatic, and idiotic, and insanely sweet.

Word, girl, you have no idea how badly I NEED Oliver and Isaac to get togetherrrr😭 They're too cute!!!!!

Well. . . the time is here at last.😉❤️

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The college’s arts programs were hosting a formal gala. It was a big night for Spirit, Eliana, and Amberlynn. And even Felix, who Oliver remembered was a fashion major.

Spirit’s culinary arts professor put her in charge of the catering, dubbing her as the head chef for the night. But until 9:45, when the kitchen would finally close and she could enjoy the event with her friends, she was stuck in an apron.

But she would be giving a short speech. El would be one of the students thanked for donating art to be presented at the event, Amberlynn would be doing a monologue she wrote herself, and Felix would be one of the fashion students modeling their own original designs.

The night had started off great for Oliver. He’d never been big on parties, but he’d actually been excited for this event. He’d put on a nice soft-grey suit with a little silver owl-shaped pin, and he felt like he looked good. He wanted to look good. But after twenty minutes at the party, that confidence started to fade.

He was leaning against a wall, occasionally glancing in his best friend’s direction. Across the room, some girl Oliver didn’t recognize was talking—Oliver would say ‘flirting’—with Isaac. And Oliver saw Isaac flirting back. His stomach twisted every time the pretty girl made his best friend laugh. He felt self-conscious for some reason. Maybe even a little sick to his stomach.

“Hey, you alright?”

Oliver snapped out of his own mind and looked to his side and up. Way up. No matter how many times he saw the guy, he’d never get over the fact that Aiden was a freaking giant! Spirit was lucky she was also pretty tall. Otherwise, kissing would’ve been a full back workout for both of them.

“Y-yeah,” Oliver said. He didn’t sound like he was alright though. But he cleared his throat and forced on a smile. “What about you? How much longer till Spirit’s out?”

Aiden sighed and chuckled. “An hour. And that’s not including the extra ten minutes she’s going to spend cleaning herself up and putting on her dress.”

It was Oliver’s turn to chuckle. “Wow. Spirit in a dress. I haven’t seen her wear a dress since 9th grade.”

Aiden’s eyes widened. “Seriously?!”

“Yeah,” Oliver chuckled. “Homecoming. It was black and gothic because she was kinda obsessed with The Adams Family at the time.”

Oliver looked away from Aiden, just for a moment, but his eye caught sight of that girl putting a hand on Isaac’s arm. Oliver didn’t know how the sight was making him feel. Sad? Angry? Why did he feel that way?

Aiden followed Oliver’s gaze and he saw what he saw. His smile became softer with realization. “You should talk to him,” he said.

Oliver looked at Aiden, confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Isaac,” Aiden said. “Go talk to him. It’s clear you want to, and this whole stalking thing is going to get creepy sooner or later if you continue it for too long.”

Oliver frowned and shook his head, turning so his back was to Isaac and the girl. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He started to walk away, and Aiden didn’t follow him, getting the message that Oliver didn’t wanna talk about it.

Suddenly, the gala started to feel like every other college party. The music was loud, there were too many people, and he felt overwhelmed now that he’d abandoned his corner of the room.

He made his way to the front of the building to the coat checkout. He’d been there long enough, and he could apologize to his friends later for not staying longer to see their big moments.

While he waited for his coat, he suddenly tensed when he heard Isaac call his name.

“Hey,” Isaac said, smiling that perfect smile that always made Oliver’s stomach flutter. “Where’re you going? Leaving already?”

Oliver nodded, but refused to look Isaac in the eye.

Isaac frowned a bit. “You alright?”

Again, Oliver just nodded. Finally, he got his coat, and he shrugged it on, mumbling a quiet goodbye before turning his back to Isaac and walking out of the building. Isaac, confused, followed him.

“Olive, wait,” Isaac said as he followed Oliver into the parking lot. “What’s going on? Are you upset about something? What’s wrong?”

Oliver swallowed, his throat bobbing. “Nothing,” he lied. “I’m just not feeling well,” he said, lying again.

“Oh,” Isaac said. “Well, are you well enough to drive? You want me to drive you—”

“Shouldn’t you get back to that girl?” Oliver’s voice came out bitterly.

Now Isaac was 100% confused. “What?”

“You know,” Oliver said, stopping in the middle of the parking lot to look at Isaac. “Tiny, pretty, brown hair, little silver dress. . . that girl.”

Isaac still looked confused for a moment. “Amy?” he asked.

“If that’s the name of your new girlfriend, then yeah.” The words came out more pissed than Oliver intended them to. After all, it’s not like he hadn’t seen Isaac’s girlfriends in the past. He didn’t know why it was bugging him so much this time.

Isaac still looked confused. “What are you talking about? Amy’s not my girlfriend, she’s my friend from class. I’ve told you about her before. She’s the friend who I told about who wears a neck pillow in lectures so she can take naps in the back.”

Oliver vaguely remembered Isaac mentioning her once or twice. “Well, still, why don’t you get back to her now. She may not be your girlfriend now, but hey, the night’s young.”

“I— Olive. . .“ What’s going on, Isaac wondered. Why is he so mad? “Amy and I are just friends. And even if I was dating her, what’s wrong with that?”

Oliver had no idea what to say. He blurted the first thing that came to mind. “She’s not good enough for you!”

“You haven’t met her!” Now Isaac was starting to feel irritated. “Jeez, Oliver, what’s your deal?!”

“Nothing,” Oliver said angrily, taking a step towards Isaac. “You can date whoever the hell you want. I don’t give a crap!”

“I’m not dating Amy! Jeez,” he paused to run a frustrated hand down his face, “how the hell did we get in a fight?!”

“Just leave me alone,” Oliver said, about to turn and walk away, but Isaac grabbed his arm. “Let me go!” Oliver yelled.

“Not until you tell me why the hell you’re so fucking upset!”

For a second, Oliver did nothing but look into Isaac’s hazel eyes. Then, in the blink of an eye, he grabbed one of Isaac’s lapels on his suit and pulled him in for a kiss.

Isaac was stiff as a board, completely shocked. As soon as Oliver’s lips touched his, his eyes closed on instinct. It took a second for them to flutter open again after Oliver pulled away.

Oliver had no idea what he’d done. Actually, yes, he did. He’d just kissed his straight best friend!

He pulled away so suddenly that Isaac lost his hold on his arm. “I-I’m sorry,” Oliver mumbled quietly, eyes wide. “I’m so sorry; I don’t know. . . I mean, that was just. . . I’m sorry, Isaac.”

Isaac opened his mouth, but Oliver was already running away.

Oliver heard Isaac call his name, but he just kept running. He ran out of the parking lot. He ran down a couple of blocks. He stopped when he felt like his legs were about to fall off.

He was crying, and he didn’t know when he started. He’d gotten a ride to the event from Jordan, so he’d just text her that he left early.

He cried on the sidewalk of the empty street for what felt like forever.

And when he was finally out of tears, he called an Uber to take him home so he could cry some more in his own bed.

— — —

Isaac couldn’t stop touching his fingers to his lips.

What. The hell. Just. Happened?

“Hey!”

Isaac turned around and saw Spirit walking towards him. “What’re you doing out here?” she asked. She was wearing a snug black and dark-red dress that he knew she had to be suffering in.

Isaac cleared his throat, trying not to look over his shoulder in the direction Oliver ran off. “Just. . . nothing.”

Spirit narrowed her eyes suspiciously. She stepped closer to him and touched one of his cheeks with her knuckles. “You’re all warm and flushed. Are you sick?”

Isaac scoffed and shoved her hand away. “No I just. . .” I was randomly kissed by my best friend. “I accidentally ate something really spicy in there,” he said, and Spirit smirked and laughed.

“Weakling,” she teased, punching him in the shoulder. “C’mon, let’s go inside. I got out of the kitchens early, so I’m gonna sneak in and scare the shit out of Aiden.”

— — —

Aiden was completely entranced by Spirit in her snug dress all night, and Jordan kept teasing him every time she caught him staring at Spirit’s ass.

Felix and Atticus had snuck off a while ago. Eliana, Amberlynn, and Keiko were all chatting together the whole night, and Isaac had gone back to talking with Amy. The two laughed together while munching on bite-sized fancy chocolate cheesecakes.

“I swear, our professor—a psychiatry professor—needs a therapist because there is something soooooo wrong with him,” Amy said, making Isaac snicker. Both he and her had gotten pleasantly tipsy on champagne.

“Ironic, isn’t it?” he said. “Remember when he drank an entire water bottle full of NyQuil at a lecture because of a cold?”

“Oh my God, yes! He was so freaking high!”

Isaac and Amy both laughed before her phone dinged, and she pulled it out of her pocket. She smirked crookedly and pocketed her phone again. “Sorry, I have to go. My girlfriend is picking me up and taking me out. I’ll see you in class, Isaac!”

“Bye,” he said, waving to her as she walked away. As she left, he noticed the lesbian flag tattooed on the back of her bare shoulder.

With his friend gone, he suddenly couldn’t stop thinking about Oliver. Once again, he touched his fingers to his lips. His heart leaped as he remembered the kiss.

Oliver kissed me, he thought.

Oliver kissed me.

His heart was racing and his lips tingled. His gut twisted and he decided what he was going to do now.

Quickly, he said his goodbyes to all of his friends, saying he had a research paper to finish. Then he left, got his car, and drove to Oliver’s apartment.

— — —

Oliver was curled up in his bed. He discarded his fancy clothing, feeling as though his suit was suffocating him. He’d put on sweats and a pajama shirt and started to sob uncontrollably as soon as he’d hid under the covers, trying to hide from the world.

He didn’t want to call anyone. Actually, he only wanted to call Isaac, but he couldn’t since Isaac was the reason he was crying.

Angrily, Oliver wiped at his tears until his eyes were red and sore and swollen. He hated that he cried so much.

He heard the soft patter of tiny paws from somewhere in his room. After a minute, his dog—a fluffy golden-brown mini poodle he’d named Dumbledor—hopped on his bed and curled up near him. He calmed down a little, comforted by the presence of his sweet dog.

Oliver’s tears had mostly dried, and he was sniffing horribly when he heard impatient knocking from his front door.

He tensed. He didn’t want to open it, so he stayed silent and pretended he wasn’t home.

More knocking. Louder this time.

With a sigh, Oliver stood from his bed, grabbing a tissue from his bedside table and blowing his nose before walking towards the front door to tell whoever was there to go away.

As soon as he opened the door, he cursed himself for not even thinking it would be his best friend whose friendship he probably just lost.

Ashamed, he hung his head and apologized.

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you just because I was jealous, and I really shouldn’t have kissed you. I’m so so so sorry, Isaac.”

Isaac was silent. Too silent.

Oliver looked up at Isaac, expecting a frown but all he met was a soft smile. “I don’t like Amy, she’s not my type. And even if she was, she’s a lesbian and has a girlfriend.”

Oliver felt an embarrassed flush creep across his face. “Oh,” he said quietly.

“And also, why didn’t you just tell me that you liked me?”

A deeper blush spread on his face. “Well, you’re not even into guys. And things would’ve become awkward if I told you. And even if you weren’t straight and we did somehow end up together, I know I’d probably screw up and do something to ruin us, but you and I would never end up together because, well, you’re straight. I mean, you are straight—right? I mean, you’ve never told me, so I have no idea, but you’ve only ever had girlfriends before, so I don’t—”

“Olive, hush,” Isaac interrupted, stopping Oliver’s rambling. He put his hands on Oliver’s shoulders and looked the black-haired boy in the eyes. “First of all, I’m not straight, I’m bi. And I honestly can’t believe I’ve never told you that. I thought you knew. Secondly, dating won’t ruin our friendship, because I won’t ever let that happen. And you won’t do anything wrong.”

The words took a second to register in Oliver’s brain. He realized that Isaac said “won’t” instead of “wouldn’t”. When the words did click, he asked, “What?”

Suddenly, Isaac bent down and kissed him. It was a sweet kiss, long and loving. Oliver kissed back on instinct, and Isaac’s hand cupped the back of his neck, pulling him closer.

Oliver felt fireworks going off in his brain and heart, making him forget everything except for this moment and the feeling of Isaac’s lips which tasted like fancy champagne and chocolate.

Oliver could barely remember how to breathe when Isaac pulled back. The blonde was smiling like crazy. “Wanna get dinner tomorrow night?” he asked, and since Oliver couldn’t remember what the hell words and sentences were, he just nodded.

Isaac smirked and pecked Oliver on the cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said. “By the way, you looked good in that suit tonight.” He turned and left, disappearing down the hallway.

Oliver stood where he was, frozen. Suddenly, he smiled. When he backed into his apartment and shut the door, he felt Dumbledor nuzzle against his pants and he picked up the little dog, smiling and hugging the fuzzy creature close to his chest.

“He likes me,” he whispered to the dog, a giddy look on his face like a lovesick teen girl. “He really freaking likes me!”

[brehaaorgana]

ADHD money/budgeting system I'm currently using for my benefit is going well (I've been using it for like half a year now?), and I wanna recommend it.

You Need a Budget is EXCELLENT. 10/10 do recommend. Uhhh rambling about it and my generic disclaimers + gushing extensively under the cut but TL;DR I think it's great for ADHD ppl, I've used it for 6+ months now and I find it super SUPER helpful. also weirdly fun.

DISCLAIMERS:

Budgeting helps you understand/know your money, it can't make money appear where there is none.

Everyone should learn to budget even if you don't have much money (especially then)

This is NOT a magic trick solution. Just like everything else, it is an assistive tool. This is one of those adult things we can't simply opt out of without negative consequences, though.

My advice is based on something I am currently able to do. That is, I can spend an amount of money on this specific thing that works well for me. If you have no extra money to spend then previously I was tracking things in a notebook. So you can still do this.

I believe Dave Ramsey is a fundie fraud/hack and no one should listen to him about money.

DID YOU KNOW THEY CANCELLED MINT???

Okay? OKAY.

Ahem.

You Need a Budget is EXCELLENT.

It is called YNAB for short. The first 34 days are your free trial, and that is my referral link. If anyone uses it and then signs up for a subscription, we both get a month free. Also you can share a subscription with up to six people (account owner can see everything but individuals can pick and choose what they share amongst each other) so like...idk your whole polycule can be on one account. Or your kids. Whatever.

If you are a student, it's free for a year. If you aren't, a subscription is $99 for a year (paid all at once) or $14.99 monthly, which is equivalent to paying Amazon prime. Go cancel Prime and get this instead tbh.

They got a whole article just on ynab and ADHD. They also have like...a big variety of ways to access their info? They have a book, podcast episodes, YouTube videos, blog posts, q&A's, free live workshops you can join (you can request live captioning), emails they can send (if you want) a wiki, and so on. They got workshops on all kinds of topics!!

So whatever ends up working for your brain. It also has a matching app.

If you lost Mint this year they have a gajillion things for moving from Mint.

Also they have a "got five minutes?" Page which has a slider so you can decide how much attention/time you have before going on lol:

They only have 4 rules of the budget, they're simple and practical, and it doesn't get judgey or like...mean about your spending.

1. Give every dollar a job 2. Embrace your true expenses 3. Roll with the punches 4. Age your money.

THEN THEY BREAK THESE DOWN INTO SMALL STEPS FOR YOU! They even have a printable! Also these rules are great because there's built in expectations that things WILL HAPPEN and it's NOT all or nothing with a fear of total collapse into failure. Reality and The Plan don't always align, especially if you have ADHD. So it's directing our energy towards the true expenses and not clinging to The Plan!! over reality.

You can automate a lot of shit (you can sync with your bank accounts just like mint, but also automate tagging the categories of regular expenses/transactions). And if for whatever reason you accidentally do something that makes the budget look weird or wrong:

A) you can usually fix it somehow OR b) they have like, a button you can press that gives you a clean slate and archives the previous version of the budget for you.

So if you forget for a few weeks or months, or accidentally input something wildly wrong, or just don't want to look at a really terrible month anymore and feel like you need a fresh start you can usually either fix it or start fresh which is really nice.

The app also (for whatever reason) scratches my itch to have things like...have incentives or little game-like goals in a way mint never did? I don't know why. Filling up the bars or putting money into the categories to cover my expenses is satisfying lmao. You can also make a big wish expense category for all the fun shit you want, and fund it whenever you can and then you can see the little bar go up and that's fun.

Anyways I've been using it for like 6+ months now and I think it's really helped me when I use it.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

The Arcana HCs: Babysitting Taiga

~ written for @vesuviaweekly's prompt "Familiar Swap" ~

WELP here it is, I'm boring so my irl cat Taiga is my self insert (Drue's) familiar. And as we all know, familiars do reflect their owner's feelings for the people around them ...

Julian

Generally adept at recognizing the personality in things and immediately started referring to her as "her ladyship"

Got bapped (claws in) the first time he got carried away trying to bond too fast. Gave her all of two minutes of space before resorting right back to pspspssing

Known to engage in long conversations with her (she's very vocal as far as meowing goes) and loves making up silly conversation topics (you caught him with a stray in the dumpster? no!)

Frequently ends up on the other side of the "i'm not impressed" cat stare and usually takes that as his cue to provide ear scritches

Will simply pick her up for snuggles whenever he wants them, which she will hop out of as soon as she's done (she does tolerate his affection longer than most visitors, though)

Asra

Often jokes that Taiga could just as easily be their familiar as Drue's, just like Faust. They're weirdly in sync

So. Many. Catnaps. As soon as he starts fluffing up a pillow pile, Taiga's kneading the closest fluffy blanket so she can curl up against him as soon as he lies down

One of the few people she will purr around

Knows they're an enabler and consistent source of treats

Has been known to sit on his chest, make eye contact, slowly and deliberately place a paw on his nose, and then meow pitifully until he gives her pets/treats/food/attention

Has a habit of swatting at their necklace when they play

Will allow him to dress her in whatever weird accessories he's made/sourced for her and then wake him up at 3 AM in revenge

Nadia

Nadia didn't jump straight into Taiga's personal space as soon as they met, which is why they get along so well. There's a healthy respect there

Trips to the Palace can be stressful for a cat who's not familiar with it, but visits always end up going smoothly

Likes to climb on her lap while she's talking and loaf there

This does lead to Nadia idly stroking her, which initially resulted in getting gently nipped but is now usually greatly appreciated

Drue still apologizes for the first time Nadia came to the shop, pet Taiga while she was in her lap, and then got nipped. Nadia thinks it's a great story. Taiga has no shame about it

Taiga prefers sitting in her lap/on her shoulder to Drue's while she's in meetings. They like to play into each other's regal auras

Muriel

One of her favorite napping trees. Tall, permanently warm, usually wearing some kind of fur - he's perfect

Often attempts to groom him (licking his hair/scruff) in thanks. Muriel appreciates the warm gesture but not necessarily the cat smell that gets all over him as a result

Probably the only person Taiga's never swatted at/bapped. He's too much of a calming presence for her and so hands-off that all the affection involved is cat-initiated

Freaks him out completely when she has zoomies. She's moving too fast, happily yowling at the top of her lungs, and using his shoulders as a springboard for the ceiling

Despite his apathetic attitude, he always shows up with a scrap of fish for her and has been known to carry her around like baby

Portia

Clicked from the get-go. Portia knows cats and Taiga knows safe people. There's just one problem - Pepi

To say that there was some initial tension there would be an understatement. Neither of them want to miss out on any potential affection from the humans around them

Thankfully, they do quickly discover that it's possible for cats to enjoy each other's presence, at which point Taiga enjoys visits to the cottage for Pepi more than for Portia

All four of them (Pepi, Portia, Drue, and Taiga) have healthy individual doses of chaotic impulses so getting them all together in one space quickly devolves into questionable decision making

Constantly meowing back and forth with her, which often culminates in a two-minute case of zoomies

Lucio

She met his dogs before she met him and it didn't go well

Taiga was a street cat in a rough area before Drue found her. Her fight-or-flight instinct is hardwired to fight and that's exactly what she did when Mercedes and Melchior shoved their noses at her

Those poor dogs got several hefty whacks to the noses

They get along much better now - especially when there's a surface she can chill on out of the dog's reach, just to reinforce personal space boundaries

Likes Lucio's human hand pets, but gets immediately spooked anytime his metal hand makes contact. It's cold

Will walk up to his white clothing items, wait for him to say "don't touch that", and then make eye contact while she very purposefully places a single paw on it

[tmnt-tychou]

2003 Romance/Mating Season HC

Rating: Eh...hard PG13? The turtles are ADULTS when mentioned in this HC.

Mating season for the 03 boys is thankfully brief of only a week and a half. They are pretty synced in their cycles and usually go through it all at the same time. When mating season hits and, if they don't have a significant other to expend energy and instinct on, they turn into fucking weirdos.

They become very twitchy and cagey, always eyeballing each other like each is going to attack them. If they didn't notice you there and you tap them on the shoulder, they will jump and give you such a wide-eyed look of terror like you caught them doing something bad.

And they're weirdly itchy. There are a few places in the lair that have big brushes fixed to the wall where they can scratch their shells. Usually it's the lower part of the shell that's the itchiest. If April visits during this time, she practically has turtles crawling over her lap. They want to steal her body heat and beg for shell scritches. It's not even sexual with April, they are just very uncomfortable and want to snuggle with her gentle vibes.

But then Casey saw how they were with her once and was like “Aw HELL nah!” so now April doesn't go down to the lair during 'their time of the year' anymore.

Leo

He is very careful with who he trusts with his heart and his body. You gotta WORK to get this man to open up to you and let you in. Leo favors patience and if you don't have any, it may not work out with him. He is a complex person and has a lot of things to say without using any words. He needs someone who is okay with silence and who knows how to listen to his language. For a long time, he's going to treat you gently, like a bomb that may go off at any time. He is not very good at opening up and letting people in. It takes him a while to learn. You opening up to him first helps set an example.

When he starts to trust, he is very sweet and attentive. He remembers a lot of random things you say to him, how you said them. He remembers certain times exactly the way you looked or smelled. He keeps a scrap book of you in his brain and brings them out to share with you randomly. It's how he shows you're important to him.

He will never raise his voice to you, even if he's angry. Yelling is what he does with his brothers. You're different. Sometimes it's maddening because you know he's mad, but he's being so annoying by staying so calm while you argue. Not that you argue much. When he's infatuated with you, he lets you get away with absolute murder. His brothers are very jealous of the girlfriend treatment you get when it comes to his patience.

He's kind of a pain in the ass during mating season. His territorial instincts go through the roof. Get anywhere near one of his brothers and he gets cranky. You could have the most mundane conversation ever with one of his brothers and he will still get annoyed. He might even growl at them. He will most likely insist you stay at your place and he will come to you during that time. That way he can have you all to himself and there are no other male turtle scents to annoy him.

While he's very alpha around his brothers, when the two of you are alone, he can switch from being on top to being submissive. Leo's hormones send him from one end of the spectrum to the other so he's very wishy-washy about what he wants. Sometimes he wants you to lay back and be his Good Girl. Other times, he'll want you to climb up and have your way with him. And while the rest of the year, he is very quiet in bed, you catch him when his hormones are high, he can get LOUD. Another reason he prefers to spend his season at your place. And he will pretty much live in your bedroom as a kept turtle for a week and a half if you let him. He'll bitch about you going to work where other males are. And if his brothers need him, that's too bad. He's BUSY. The only way his brothers can get him back home is if they start texting you. Then he will have to go down to the sewers so he can murder them.

Donnie

With Donnie, if you want his attention, you have to give a little to get a little. He is practically married to his lab, so if you want some of his time, you gotta pay a little lip service to his first love. Ask him what he's working on and show interest in his projects. He can tell when you're just being polite, so if you're genuinely interested, he will fall harder for you. Once you have given proper time to him, sometimes he will give you proper time back and sometimes you have to remind him that he needs to put time into the relationship now and the two of you have talked about this. If you show up with something specific for you two to do, you will have an easier time getting him away. In fact, if you catch him in a slump, he may be happy for the distraction.

He is a very sweet partner, if a little absent minded. He WILL forget your birthday. Don't mistake, he remembers the date of your birthday, he just doesn't know what day TODAY is. (Maybe not even what day of the week it is. “We're still in March, right? Is it Friday?”) You may have to remind him it's coming up. He will start to get better at it by setting reminders for himself because he doesn't want to disappoint you. It's just that his brain goes a million miles a minute constantly and that thought is but one of many vying for his attention.

He is not good at sex in the beginning. Which frustrates him because he's read all the articles and studied the human female body. Why are you not liking this, sweetheart? What am I doing wrong? He quickly learns that your body isn't a machine where he can just turn the nobs and press the buttons and he's done. It takes him a while to get that it's an emotional thing and he has to be in the moment with you and respond on the fly as you two explore together. He will start scheduling sex so he can practice, which is weird, but okay Donnie. And it turns out to work in your favor as YOU are his new project now and he is very, very focused on you. It's a nice change of pace.

He has the lowest libido of his brothers during mating season. He's usually too busy to even notice it. “Oh, it's mating season?” Pauses to check to see if his shell is itchy. “Oh, I guess it is.” He can ignore the urges for quite a while. Then it will hit him like a truck. He'll suddenly appear at your place, pin you to the bed, and have his way with you for a few hours. Then, while you're an insensate puddle of goo, his dumb ass will get up to go back to his lab unless you find the energy to yell at him to get his shell back in bed.

P.S. Donnie wants you to know the itchy shells have nothing to do with mating hormones. They molt their scutes shortly after. The two things just coincidentally happen at the same time.

Raph

Learning to be Raph's partner is a little tricky. He likes you. He likes having someone to care about and protect. (And he is VERY protective.) But there is also a bit of a feral cat in him. He's weird about being touched at first, especially if you touch him without him noticing. Before you two were involved romantically, he would do that thing cats do when they sink under your hand to avoid being pet. (He still does it sometimes.) He gives Soft For Only You vibes, but doesn't know what to do when you're soft for him. It takes him a while to figure out his shit.

Raphael is weird about touch and intimacy. He likes it, but he doesn't really know how to engage in it. He needs it to happen on his terms, especially when he's first getting used to it. He needs someone who is patient and is okay with letting him come to them when he's ready. But while he's getting used to it, he still wants to be around you. He'll say sweet things to you, make thoughtful gestures, all the proper boyfriend stuff. But the physical touch is something that comes with time.

He is a very fussy, persnickety turtle about sex, especially that first time. He'll come up with all sorts of arbitrary rules about what you can do to him and where you can touch. It's best to let him take charge the first few times. He's better when he feels like he has control of the situation. After a while, if you can manage to get him to agree to letting you take the lead, he will complain the entire time. But if you're slow and gentle, he'll enjoy himself and maybe let you do it again.

He does NOT like his tail played with during intimacy, even though it's typically an erogenous zone for the turtles. If you grope it without asking permission he will BITCH, maybe for days, about how you don't listen to him or respect his boundaries. If you talk to him about why he doesn't like it, you'll find out there is no deeper trauma or anything, he's just wired that way. He doesn't enjoy it.

If you show that you respect him and you tell him you just like to see his tail because you think it's cute, he may bring it out now and then and even let you touch it. But if you try to fondle it in a sexual manner he will immediately withdraw and tell you in great detail how you done fucked up.

During mating season, if he doesn't have a significant other, he gets a little quiet and melancholy. The hormones make him feel lonely. If he has someone who has his heart, he's going to be the most snugly you've ever seen him. Which is still very mild for regular standards. He'll rest his chin on your shoulder or lay in your lap so you can scratch his shell. You might even get a tiny bit of churring if you listen carefully.

He is markably less persnickety about touch during this time of the year. He's more focused on railing you, so you can get your hands on him all you want. (Though you will get your hand swatted if you go for the tail.) Then he wants to lay on top of you and sleep off the sexy times for a few hours. Because that was a lot for him. If you try to sneak out of bed, he gets grouchy.

Mike

This grown ass turtle is always going to be a bit of a child. If you're dating him, prepare to get pranked on a regular basis. His favorite thing is to hide in the shadows and jump scare the hell out of you. He even broke into your apartment to scare you there. You nearly murdered him and yelled at him for an hour. He said he wouldn't do that again...but he's totally going to do it again.

You're going to get dick pics whether you want them or not. They're not even sexy pics. He'll dress it up or put it on a pizza or some dumb shit. You will learn quickly not to open ANY pictures from him while at work. He will also sext you on the regular if you're into that, and be happy to dirty talk you. But it will also get stupid a lot, too. This man is incapable of being serious for too long.

Despite all the bravado and dumbassery, he's very gentle and vanilla your first time being intimate. He doesn't want to hurt you and is so afraid he's going do something stupid and mess everything up. He's pretty much a blank slate ready to learn. If you take the initiative and tell him what you like or which things you want to dry, he will do the same. The two of you can get up to all sorts of sexy shenanigans as Mike is down with whatever you're down with. When you both get comfortable with intimacy, sex with him is always fun and warm and a lovely way to bond with each other.

During mating season, Mike is the horniest of the four by far. (He's also the itchiest. “Oh my God, Babe. Scratch my shell. It's SOOOO itchy!”) If he's not trying to bang you, he's draped over your lap, begging for shell scritches. He will arch up like a cat and do a little shimmy for you. He has no shame.

He also gets super hungry. So it will be lots of sex and snacks in bed. He is going to be SO. Fucking. NEEDY. During this time. An absolute velcro turtle. If you have to go to work, he will whine and moan like a child. And will probably break into your place (again!) and writhe in your sheets and send you lots of dirty pics and messages until you get home.

Legit by the time his season is over, he is being a full pain in the ass with how needy and selfish he's being. But after the fog lifts, he realizes what a butt he's been and apologizes and makes up for it with acts of love and giving some focus on you.

[morsesnotes]

Another Morse/Joan ramble [vague spoilers if you're new to Endeavour and don't know how they end]...

There's been quite a bit of chat lately about the parallels between Morse/Thursday and Morse/Joan, and it got me thinking about why exactly the Morse/Joan relationship is compelling to me.

The thing about Morse and Thursday is that they are very different people, but they're also very similar. That's why they fit so well together like two puzzle pieces and can pull each other out of a hole when they need to. They may not always click, but when they do they're an incredible team.

We know Joan takes after Thursday, and this imo allows for a similar magnetism in her dynamic with Morse. The best example of this I can think of is the bank robbery in Coda. Morse and Joan are in sync all the way through - bouncing off each other when Morse is going through clues, protecting each other, and trying to keep everybody calm. Apollo is similar. They have different approaches and engage in some petty bickering, but ultimately have similar aims of making sure the kids are protected and seeking justice. At the end of it you get the sense they respect each other a little more. The more time they spend together, the better their relationship is, but when they distance themselves there's a communication breakdown (sound familiar?).

But the real interest for me, comes in where Joan and her dad are different. For several reasons Joan is much softer around the edges, and her Fred-like traits aren't as entrenched. That in turn allows for a potential healthier relationship with Morse. On Morse's side as well. I'm sure people will disagree with me on this, but I think in the later seasons he doesn't put Joan on such a pedestal because she actually tries to ask for help when she needs it and attempts to express herself honestly. She lets him see her at her lowest and challenges him directly when she's bothered by something he does. I think it gives him a reality check. He talks to her like a friend and isn't afraid to show it when he's annoyed with her compared to earlier on when she could do no wrong in his eyes. I feel like by the end he really did love her.

Whenever they interact in the early seasons, it's like they're in their own little world and could sit talking to each other all day if given the chance. Joan always cheers Morse up and brings out a lighter sensitive side of him we don't usually see. He gives her agency, doesn't pressure her, and is completely loyal to her. Although it takes him a minute to understand her goals, he encourages her once he gets it. They both push each other to open up emotionally. Along with all of this they are blatantly attracted to each other and you can feel it every time they look at each other. There's real sexual tension and that's a weirdly rare thing. What's interesting is that he's so different from every other man in her life she doesn't know how to react.

To be clear here it's not that I believe they were destined to live a long happy marriage or that they should've walked off into the sunset together. My issue with how their relationship was handled is that it didn't feel like it came to the conclusion it did through the natural actions of the characters. It felt like things only happened the way they did because Joan wasn't canonically part of his later llfe and Lewis didn't know what to do with that other than to keep them apart. It was as if he went, "Hmm these two get on too well...better start making Joan push him away for no apparent reason."

Whether Morse and Joan could've made it who knows, but I definitely believe they could've given each other the love and passion they desperately wanted, at least for a little while.

[karolinesvrsion]

just this once, okay? | bruce yamada x fem!reader

part one part two part three part four part five part six

y'all i actually love this chapter sm

taglist: @bettyssneaker @ellemfaoh @finneysbaseball @urfavkorean @retirement-home @sweetrabbit @inumakihearts

when a crushing and helpless bruce yamada seeks aid from an unaware and breezy y/n, he suggests they fake date in order to make his crush jealous. what could go wrong? they were friendly, and y/n was beautiful. bruce’s plan is fool proof. at least that’s what he thinks.

a/n: for the sake of the story, everyone is the same age (16-17) and in junior year of high school, except gwen, who is a freshman. and the grabber doesn't exist because i said so.

❦

everyone who had been sick the week prior was finally feeling better. the majority of the students who were out sick were back at school, thriving. bruce had taken a little longer to get back to class, solely because he had taken longer to accept that he was sick and stay home for a couple more days.

you were walking alongside donna, on your way to your shared english class. donna's birthday was coming up and she was beyond thrilled. "can you believe it, y/n/n? i'll be seventeen this saturday!"

finney, who had just tagged along, spoke up. "yeah, don, it's all you've been talking about for weeks now!"

"finn, don't kill her mood." you bossed, making him chuckle. "what're you gonna do? you gonna have a party?"

donna perked up at this. "yep!" she chirped, popping the 'p' loudly. "i haven't told anyone though, you two are the first people i wanted to tell, obviously."

"oh, wow, i'm touched." finney teased, ruffling her hair gently. "out of all of your friends, we're the first to know?"

"yeah, duh." donna quipped, slapping his hand. "so, it'll be on saturday, at around eight o'clock, and you can bring whoever you want, as long as they don't do anything stupid, y'know?"

"ooo!" finney sang, nudging your shoulder. "you can take your perfect little boyfriend to donna's party!"

you rolled your eyes at him as the three of you walked into mrs. jameson's english class. "i was planning to, finn."

"i hate people in happy relationships." donna grumbled, taking her usual seat in front of you.

finney smirked. "y'know they're not actually—"

"shut up, finney!" you scolded, kicking his shin roughly to ensure he'd keep his trap shut. he squealed like a child, holding his knee up to his chest.

"you two have such a weird friendship." donna shook her head, placing her supplies on her desk. she was always so prepared for everything, which was the main reason you two had become friends so quickly.

"we know." you and finney laughed in sync.

as the three of you trudged to your next class, finney asked a question. "hey, y/n/n, d'you think you could help robin and i with some of the calculus work later?"

"i don't know, finn, the only reason i'm passing calculus is because bruce always gives up on trying to explain the problems to me and just does them himself." you laughed, adjusting your bookbag.

"that's weirdly adorable." donna snickered, fidgeting with the flashy gold watch on her wrist. "it's so gross how adorable your relationship is, y'know?"

"oh, yeah!" finney exclaimed sarcastically. "their relationship is just adorable! super duper real and adorable!"

you gave him a sharp glare, and he immediately stopped teasing you. donna noticed this and furrowed her eyebrows. "he's just jealous of you and bruce, y/n/n, don't listen to him."

"like you're one to talk." finney mumbled so only donna heard it, and she shoved her elbow into finney's abdomen, earning a loud groan from him. "jeez, donna, chill!"

she straightened up quickly, changing the subject. "so, you two will be at my party this saturday, right?"

"yes, i will be there, don," you reassured, "and finney will be there too, even if i have to drag him out of bed myself." the pair laughed loudly at this, the small dimple on finney's cheek peeking out.

"perfect!" she giggled, linking her arm with yours. "hey, if it's not too much to ask, d'you think you could help me set up some stuff?"

"yeah, of course, i'll be there at six!" you responded. you didn't have any other plans for saturday, so if there was anything you could do to help, you'd do it.

"but, just you, okay?" donna muttered, hesitating a little bit. "i mean, bruce is welcome to come to the party, of course, but for before, i have to talk to you alone, okay?"

this worried you to some degree. donna looked somewhat pale, and she was as serious as you've ever seen her. "oh, yeah, okay."

the rest of the week went by swiftly. bruce had gone over to your house two days during the week, meaning he had met your dad. the whole situation was quite awkward, to be frank.

bruce showed up at your house on saturday evening. as usual, he knocked three times, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets right after.

when you opened the door and saw him— and his gorgeous smile— standing there, you almost slammed the door right in his face. instead, you blurted, "what are you doing here!?"

"i- isn't donna's party today?" bruce questioned, his smile faltering a bit.

"yeah, at eight o'clock!" you laughed, opening the door a bit wider to invite him inside. "it's only five-thirty, we can't show up already!"

he walked in, taking off his jacket and putting it up on the coat hanger. "okay, well, can we hang out, then?"

"i have to help donna set up for her party soon, bruce," you informed, sending him an apologetic look, "and before you ask, no, you can't go with me."

"what, why not!?" he scoffed. "i'd be great help!"

"i'm sure that you would, bruce, but, donna said she had to talk to me about something." you clarified, making him slump his shoulders.

allie was running down the stairs as you said this, grinning brightly when she saw bruce was there. "bruce!" she exclaimed, running over to him, giving him a bear hug.

bruce was quick to react, swooping her up. "allison, my favorite l/n!"

"hear that, y/n/n?" she boasted. "i'm his favorite l/n!"

you shook your head at her behavior. "i'm gonna go to donna's and help her set up. i will be back as soon as we finish."

"hey, bruce, do you want an ice pop?" allie blushed.

"i would love one, allie." bruce smiled. "i just need to talk to y/n really quickly, okay?"

"okay, i'll go get them ready!" allie squealed, running into the kitchen for ice pops. "i'll get you a blue one!"

you looked at bruce with admiration in your eyes. "if she's getting you a blue one she must really like you, y'know?"

"i have that charm on people, you know that." bruce smirked.

"you're so annoying, i hope you know that." you teased, shoving his shoulder.

he grinned, brushing his knuckles against yours. "go help donna, i will be right here, doing the unicorn puzzle with allie for the ninth time and eating ice pops!"

you laughed at this, running a hand through your hair. "i'll be back soon, i swear!"

"it's fine, y/n/n!" he assured. "take your time over there, i am about to eat the best ice pops ever, with one of the most hyper kids i've ever met, we will be fine!"

"okay, see? now, i feel bad!"

"get out!"

"you can't kick me out of my own house!"

"yes, he can, i said so!" what the fuck, allie?

the two of them teamed up and pushed you out of the front door, giggling loudly.

"what the fuck?" you whispered to— well, no one, really.

you and donna were almost finished setting everything up for her party. she set up a drink station, which as of right now only had soda and red solo cups, but knowing the teenagers of denver, someone would probably sneak in booze.

you helped her set up the snack station, which included an assortment of candies, many different chips, and like five different types of cookies.

"d'you think it's enough? i mean, i invited a lot of my friends and they probably invited some of their friends, but i learned at a young age that it's actually really rude to do that, so—" she rambled, pacing back and forth.

"donna!" you interrupted, placing your hands on her shoulders gently. "it's more than enough, i promise."

"yeah?" you nodded with a smile. "okay! well, i should probably start getting ready or something, i mean it's almost eight o'clock, and— oh!"

"what? what is it?" you asked, worried that she might have forgotten about something.

"oh, i just remembered that i also invited you over so i could tell you something." she said, walking over to you.

"right! yeah, i forgot about that." you admitted, making her laugh. "sorry, should i be prepared? i mean, is it something bad?"

"i guess if you see it that way, but it's really not." she began growing nervous, you could tell in the way she started pulling on her fingers and twisting her rings.

"hey," you soothed, "d, what is it?"

donna breathed in deeply. "you remember when everyone thought finney and i liked one another?"

"yeah, i mean, everyone talked about it for like, the entire year." you said. "even i thought you two were a thing."

"but, we didn't! i mean, i didn't!" donna croaked, her usually soothing voice going up an octave. "i liked finney, but just as friends, because, well, i had a thing for someone else."

"you did?" she nodded. you were growing more confused as to where this was going. "well, who was he? do you still like him?"

"it wasn't a 'he', y/n/n. it was a 'she'. and she was vera kennedy!" donna shrieked, her hands shaking. "i had a crush on vera from science class, okay!?"

you stayed silent, not knowing what to say. donna was crying silently, probably cursing herself for the way she told you.

"i didn't know, d." you wrapped your arm around her shoulder, allowing her to silently sob into your shoulder. "god, if i had known, i wouldn't have teased you about finn so much, im sorry."

she laughed lightly at this, rubbing her now swollen eyes roughly. "it's okay, y/n/n." she paused. "you don't hate me, do you?" she mumbled, her eyes glossy with tears.

"hate you?" you scoffed, placing your hand on hers. "why would i hate you just because of who you wanna make out with?" donna smiled, the corners of her eyes crinkling. "i love you, d, you're my best friend. of course i don't hate you."

donna grinned widely, throwing her arms around your neck. "thank god, because i don't know if i could handle finney on my own."

the two of you laughed, and you reassured her multiple times that you'd always be by her side, no matter what. you told her that you had to go change into nicer clothes, and in a way, pick up bruce.

"sounds good, i'll see you two later!" donna smiled brightly, and you wondered how long she had wanted to tell you this.

"love you, d, i'll be back soon!"

after you left, donna felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. the truth was that she wanted you to be the first person she told, but she could never gather enough courage to tell you. the only reason she told finney first was because she knew that he had a crush on her, but she didn't want any miscommunication between the two of them.

thank god you were so accepting, because she didn't know what she would do without you.

when you and bruce arrived at donna's party, there was loud music and bright led lights that you didn't remember putting up.

"woah, this is," bruce trailed off, "wow!"

"well, 'wow' is one word for it." you retorted, feeling bruce tense up beside you. "hey, you okay?"

"yeah, fine, i'm just, well, i didn't expect donna's party to be so movie-like."

"yeah, me either, and i was here less than an hour ago." you said, squeezing his hand comfortingly.

"okay, let's go!" bruce dragged you inside, and the two of you immediately got tangled in the mess of teenagers in donna's house.

you spotted donna over by the snack table, and tugged on bruce's hand, signaling him over. he caught on and you two made your way over to her.

"donna, i didn't think it would be this big!" you yelled over the deafening music.

"i didn't either, but i guess word got around quickly!" she was definitely panicking.

"well, on the bright side, you're getting more presents than usual!" bruce attempted to lighten her mood, shooting her an award-winning smile.

donna's mouth opened and closed a couple times, but she shrugged. "yeah, i guess so."

"oh, hey, there's violet and luke!" bruce grinned. "wanna go say hey to them?"

you looked at donna, who smiled at you knowingly, and nodded. "yeah, let's go."

the two of you joined lucas and violet, who were quick to greet you. violet began some awkward small talk at first, and then you two soon found out that you actually had a lot in common.

bruce leaned over, tapping your bicep to get your attention. "you okay here?" he asked, wanting to make sure you weren't uncomfortable around his friends.

"yeah, i'm okay, don't worry." you replied, turning back to violet. in the few weeks you and bruce had been fake-dating, he noticed a lot of things about you. he knew you didn't like being around a lot of people you didn't know, and that your favorite shirts were band shirts, even if they were bands you didn't listen to. boy, was he in love.

"so, have you told her yet?" lucas asked him quietly.

"hm?" bruce snapped his gaze away from you and your shimmery eyes, plump lips, and—

"have you told her how you really feel?" lucas smirked, a knowing expression on his face.

"are you kidding? of course i haven't!" bruce scoffed, leaning against the pillar. "and shut up, man! we're not talking about this right now, okay, she's right there!"

"you're so dramatic, dude!" lucas shook his head. "the two of you are so clearly in love, and you haven't even told her?"

"would you shut up?" bruce whisper-shouted, almost spilling his drink on lucas.

"fine, i'll shut up about it for now." lucas chuckled, earning a glower from bruce, which was an unnatural look on his face since he was basically a ray of sunshine.

violet had gone off with one of her other friends, so you walked over to bruce, who looked like he might've been blowing air out of his ears if he wasn't such a bright person.

"are you okay?" you questioned, making his eyes switch over to you.

"lucas is kind of an ass, y'know?" he waved his hand, earning a laugh from you. god, if he could listen to your laugh all day, he would. "no, i'm serious, i mean he's so aggravating, and just— oh, crap."

you furrowed an eyebrow. "what? what is it? what did you say 'oh, crap.' for?"

"do you remember crazy carly from eighth grade?" bruce asked, scratching the back of his head.

"oh, yeah! carly the one who told people that you two were soulmates?" you giggled. "i remember her, she was like, crazy in love with you!"

"she's still crazy in love with me!" bruce groaned, throwing his head back. "and she's here!"

"she's here?" your eyes bulged slightly. "as in here? as in donna's party here!?"

"yes! she's over by the sink, look!" bruce was turning a bright shade of red, something that happened when he was either flustered or nervous. you chose the latter.

"okay, well, it's okay, maybe she won't see us!" you tried to calm him down. it worked for a total of two minutes, until his eyes practically popped out of his head.

"crap, she saw me!" he blurted. "do you trust me?"

"what?"

"do you trust me?"

you were confused. "i- yes, i trust you, why?"

"don't freak out, okay?" he placed his hand on the side of your face and leaned in. you could feel his breath on your face before he stopped, asking, "can i kiss you?"

"yeah," you breathed, and in that moment, you almost melted into a pool of nothingness right then and there.

he kissed you. it was soft and tender, giving you goosebumps all over your arms. the two of you found yourselves melting into the kiss, as if it was something common and natural. your lips moved in sync, giving you both a warm and fuzzy feeling in your stomachs.

with no idea how long the kiss had lasted, the two of you pulled away for breath, hearing loud whistles and cheers from the crowd that had gathered at one point. seeing the many people watching you two made your face turn a bright shade of pink.

"gross, man, next time get a room." vance grumbled, shoving his way past the two of you. "honestly, making out just like that? in front of everyone? jeez."

you and bruce were left dazed after all of the commotion died down. the rest of the night, the two of you seemed to be in a trance, likely bewildered that the kiss even happened.

robin and finney started teasing you, saying things like "we told you!" and "you two are totally in love." even billy had walked over and given the two of you a shit-eating grin.

you stepped outside to catch your breath after what had just happened, sitting on the rusty swingset in donna's backyard.

what you least expected was for clara to walk up to you. her short brown hair was curled neatly, and her bright hazel eyes shined in the fancy lighting of donna's house. "you two make a cute couple, you know?"

"oh, thanks, clara." you said, smiling politely.

she sent a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, making it look ingenuine. "you two seem really happy together."

you nodded, gazing above at the stars.

"are you?" she began.

"hm?"

"are you two happy?" you didn't know clara was so nosy.

you pondered the question for a moment. "yeah. yeah, i think i'm actually the happiest i've been in a while."

while this was a true statement, it scared you. you and bruce's relationship was only temporary, but he made you happy, and you weren't ready to give that up yet. neither of you were.

clara's small smile faltered, and she sniffled a little. "that's good, um, that's great, actually."

"are you okay, clara?" you asked.

she fixed her slumped posture quickly. "yeah, yeah, i'm okay! i'm actually gonna head back in, so, i'll see you."

"okay," you nodded, "bye, clara."

you didn't know how long you had been out there, but it must've been long enough for bruce to go looking for you. "hey, there you are!"

"bruce, hey." you greeted, a warm smile finding it's way onto your face.

"i'm sorry if that was too much, or something, i didn't mean to freak you out." he apologized, holding out an m&m cookie. "i got you this, i thought you'd like one."

you gratefully accepted, your smile growing. "you didn't freak me out, bruce. i just kind of, panicked, i guess."

he furrowed an eyebrow. "why?"

"i don't know, actually." lie, of course you knew, but you wouldn't be caught dead confessing your feelings to bruce yamada. "i think it's because of all the people watching."

he nodded in understanding. "yeah, that's my bad."

"it's okay, though." you said, taking a bite out of the large cookie. "i've been out here looking at the stars, and it's very much comforting."

"oh, well in that case, i'll go get more snacks, and we can watch the stars together." he offered, wrapping his jacket around your shoulders.

"that sounds like fun, let's do it!" you jumped up, taking one of the blankets you had stolen earlier and spreading it out onto the grass. "and don't forget to get drinks!"

"i won't!"

well, thank you, carly.

[recurring-polynya]

How did you get into renruki ? Like what drew you to the ship when you started bleach ?

I would to have a cool and sophisticated answer to this that shows me to be a woman of culture and taste, but my actual answer is pretty dumb.

Rukia is one of my all-time favorite fictional characters. If you take a look at female characters I have simped for over the years (Susan Sto Helit from Discworld, Sabriel from the Abhorsen series, Cass "Batgirl" Cain, Padme Amidala from Star Wars, honorable mention of Angua von Ubervald, also from Discworld) there is are some clear patterns, and Rukia hits all the high points for me-- she's serious and good at her job, smart, practical, lonely, weirdly dramatic, not traditionally beautiful, but when she turns up, she turns up.

The first time I watched Bleach (and did not finish it, because it was not finished at the time), I didn’t ship her with anyone, I don’t think I shipped anyone, period. I also don’t particularly recall having particularly strong feelings about Renji at that time, which is weird because, he is the guy that's always my favorite guy in an anime-- the main character's rival, who is usually very strong and nigh indestructible and is kinda grumpy but not-so-secretly has a big soft heart. Ryouga from Ranma, Kuwabara from YYH, Sano from Kenshin, does Sailor Jupiter count?, I can't help it. He’s built like a fridge, but he’s still kinda wet and pathetic. Also, he has a bandana and fangs, these things are very precious to me. So, in other words, they're my favorite girl archetype and one of my favorite dude archetypes (I also like neurotic nerds but that's a different story).

The second time I watched Bleach, I was really just overcome with how much Renji cares about Rukia. He pined for her for  f o r t y  y e a r s. He works for Byakuya for her. The palpable despair he feels during the Soul Society when he doesn’t know how to keep her from being executed, the way he gets all his blood smashed out of his body, and then gets up and does it again is just Extremely My Shit. 

So here’s your answer: Rukia is my all-time favorite girl and Renji is a big heap of hot garbage for her. 

I’ve been brainrotting over these two goons for about 5 years now and I’ve read the manga, which is so much better than the anime, and I am constantly discovering new things that I like about them individually and together, but mostly it’s just that Renji makes this face when Rukia shotguns a beer in front of him.

Runner-up stupid reason: I really, really like it when they do shit in sync.

[vyglitchcraft]

More of Gantz's Coworkers

Again Designs will be coming later

Army of One

Real Name: Nui Ito

Age: 26

Gender: Female

Height: 5'4

Alias: Army of One, Stitching Killer, Thread of Death

Nationality: Japanese

Job: Enforcer, Assassination

Weapon of Choice: Needles, Poisons

Bio: Nui has been a known serial killer for a long time, she's known to stitch together bodies and placing them in public in intricate ways. Her personality is very chaotic, she's cocky and psychotic but always smart and observant.

Likes: Sewing, Music, Shinto Shrines, Traditional Music

Hates: Fruits, Uselessly Expensive Things, Religious Chanting

Menhera Scythe

Real Name: Niseki Akikawa

Age: 19

Gender: Female

Height: 5'8

Alias: Menhera Scythe, Happy Death, Nise-san/tan

Nationality: Japanese

Job: Tracking, Assassination

Weapon of Choice: Scythe

Bio: Niseki or Nise-san by her coworkers is a happy go lucky girl that's always oblivious to everything, it's unknown if she's faking this persona or not. She's fairly sadistic and seemingly always faking a smile and keeping a happy face (which fits for her name Nise = fake and Ki = joy)

Likes: Japanese Street Fashion, Carnival Rides, Festivals, Loud Places, Cute/Pastel Coloured Things

Dislikes: Masculine Clothes, Nui Ito (finds her personality "uncute"), Sports, Being Bored

Mirror & Dreams

Real Name: Specchio and Sognare Gallo

Age: 27

Gender: Male

Height: 6'0

Alias:

Specchio: Mirrors, The Ghost in The Reflections, The Fallen Gallo Twins

Sognare: Dreams, Freddy Kruger's Less Interesting Ripoff, The Fallen Gallo Twins

Nationality: Italian

Job: Enforcer, Interrogation, Intimidation

Weapon of Choice: N/A

Bio: The Gallo Twins were born from a high class and rich family (including their little brother Illusione that's a student council in Murashima Academy), the family had their reputation in stakes by the mafia from having a hefty unpaid debt that they can't pay, so Specchio and Sognare was forced to work for the mafia and currently working with a partner gang called The Urban Empire. They're basically copies of eachother and do things in perfect sync even when separated. Both are very professional and surprisingly loving for eachother, they treat everyone with respect but sometimes coming out as emotionless and cold.

Likes: Eachother, Expensive Meals, Suits, Champagne, Wine, Money

Hates: Disrespectful People, Liars, Blood/Gore, Modern Art

La Glace

Real Name: Arctite Le Brillant

Age: Unknown

Gender: Male

Height: 6'2

Alias: Ice, Le Glace, Arctic, Diamond Death

Nationality: French, Russian

Job: Debt Collector, Treasurer (not really but similar), Information Gathering, Reputation Keeper (keeps the gangs reputation high/good)

Weapon of Choice: Long Sword

Bio: Arctite is one of the members that oversees the gangs money, his background is mostly unknown but it is known that he has a brother named Crystalline that works as a teacher in Murashima Academy. Same as his brother he usually teach new members and even help out some of the younger members in school or work outside of the gang. Although he comes out as cold he's very heartwarming and kind, having a high reputation with civilians as caring although strict and a bit cold but angered his whole persona will shatter and he'll be more sadistic and violent.

Likes: Money, Fashion Brands, Winter, Metal Smithing, Classical Music

Hates: Messy/Unorganized People, Action/Blockbuster Films, Oblivious Attitudes, Mindless Vandalism

Garden of Lies

Real Name: Eden Kouris

Age: 25

Gender: Male

Height: 6'3

Alias: Garden of Lies, Siren of The Land

Nationality: Greek, Italian

Job: Information Gathering, Spy, Assassination

Weapon of Choice: Flora (able to control and create them like Giorno Giovanna)

Bio: Don't be fooled Eden is not the nice and shy boy that he may show himself to be. He's a cruel and sadistic man and a pathological liar. He keeps his past a secret so not much is known about him. He kills by luring other people to his garden using his charm then wrapping veins around them until they got crushed, so manipulative is also a part of his personality, although there are some reports of the shyness and niceness maybe a bit genuine.

Likes: Gardening, Being Alone, Books (Novels specifically), Tricking People, Pranks

Hates: Tobi (Finds him annoying), Loud Places, Sweets, Soft Drinks, Alcohol

Codifica

Real Name: Nathaniel Giordano

Age: 25

Gender: Male

Height: 5'11

Alias: Codifica, N, Giovanni

Nationality: Italian, American

Job: Hacker, Information Gathering, Recruiter, Interrogation

Weapon of Choice: N/A

Bio: Nathaniel (usually just called N) is one of the best hacker in the gang besides L. His personality can be described as very carefree, sarcastic (in a "bad bitch" way), and friendly. He usually gets along with anyone if he didn't talk about how he would brutally have sex with the person he's crushing on that week.

Likes: Snuff Films, L (best friend and works with him often), Women's Magazine, Expensive Perfumes, Chemistry, Anime

Hates: People that can't take a joke, Emotionless People, Drama, Musicals

Nico

Real Name: Nicholas Dawn

Age: 28

Gender: Male

Height: 6′8

Alias: Nicotine, Nico

Nationality: African, Italian, American

Job: Drug Trade, Weapon Trade, Recruiter

Weapon of Choice: Razor Blades

Bio: Nico is the no joke boss of the trading team. He's always serious and professional, usually only doing things because he needs too. He comes from a fairly poor family which forced him into working with the gang. Besides as a recruiter he also train new members and fairly known as a good teacher albeit a very emotionless and almost oblivious teacher.

Likes: Metal, Rock, Weapon Smithing, Philosophy, Manipulation

Hates: Giving more than you have too, Laziness, Expensive Prices

Feed The Machine

Real Name: Suiker Bakker

Age: 18

Gender: Male

Height: 5'7

Alias: Sugato (given by his classmates), Feed The Machine

Nationality: Dutch

Job: Overseer, Last Defense Guard, Debt Collector

Weapon of Choice: Metal Scraps

Bio: Sugato is one of the nicest person you'll ever meet, he's very sweet and caring which fits his name and uni major which is Culinary Arts. Although that is when he's in his normal mode, when using his powers his personality change from sweet to the total opposite. His power is to control anything he eats as long it's inside him (ie he eats some bolts, he'll able to control metal) but the side effects cause him to be more violent and sadistic, which he regrets.

Likes: Baking, Cooking, Giving Gifts, Teaching Others

Hates: Hurting Others (for no reason, he's weirdly ok with killing innocent people as long it has a reason), Not Thinking Before An Action, Mindless Vandalism