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#they're probably fucked up though right
princeofpaths · 2 years
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do horses exist in fallout
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doveywovy · 3 months
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thinking about the uchiha and the senju *not* being on equal footing for once. Indra, when chasing power, became the Daimyo of Fire instead of squabbling with his Father and Brother. His relation to the Emperor (his grandfather) ensuring the line. So hundreds of years later, the Uchiha are the ruling family of fire- over civilians and shinobi alike. They rarely, if ever, actually *serve* as shinobi, but they maintain their abilities to the highest degree possible because it's part of how they keep an iron grip on all the shinobi clans who serve under them. (The sharingan is as respected as ever, but now with the 'divine right to rule' implications tied into it's manifestation.)
Tajima is the current head, but he's coming close to retiring and having Madara take over. Izuna's been raised as Madara's advisor; assassinations are still a concern but heirs dying is much less common. They'd never put the main family into danger, so all of their siblings are still alive, but they all got married off at young ages to secure alliances. (Even before they got married off, they were raised with the mindset that they'd be bargaining tools, and so Izuna and Madara were raised separately to keep them from getting attached).
The Senju aren't a noble clan, and aren't even aware of their connection to the historical line of power. But the Uchiha are aware of it, and thus start to pay extra attention when Hashirama marries Mito. Uniting clans...it could be nothing, but it could also be a sign he intends to usurp. They're careful about that sort of thing.
Izuna presses the advantage this gives them. The Senju will have to give in to any demands they make that aren't *too* outrageous, and there's been whispering about Hashirama's brother being a genius inventor. Madara asks for Tobirama's service to their family, separating the Senju from a very useful tool if they are planning a coup and gaining the Uchiha a very major boon if there's no coup in place.
Tobirama arrives, blandly polite, covered in dirt from the road, and the presumption is that he'll get swirled away into court life. He'll either prove foolish and end up dead sooner than later, or prove clever and thus useful. In which case Izuna will keep him in mind if he ever needs something invented, or investigated, or otherwise prodded with a stick. One day the Senju's power will fade- they'll make a political misstep, lose an heir, Hashirama will turn into a tree. Then Tobirama will get returned, with the expectation to politely acquis to any requests the Uchiha make for the rest of his life.
Izuna gets attached instead. Tobirama's extremely compelling to him for all their similarities and differences. The man is a younger brother devoted to his elder; Izuna cares for his brother by handling the tricky court manipulations that elude soft-hearted Madara. Tobirama seems serve his brother by being the harsh one, the firm one, the threatening one. He's ill-suited for court. He lacks any skill at manipulation but is very adapt at biting insults, which is a terrible combination and also very funny for Izuna to watch. Izuna was raised from a young age to be careful about assassinations; Tobirama was raised from a young age to commit them.
Tobirama doesn't know how easily their positions could be reversed, if their ancestors had made different decisions, but Izuna does. He takes a very mean delight in that- especially because he fully believes the Uchiha deserve their place. They *were* the better bloodline, the divine right to rule was indeed always meant to be theirs, and it really only could be fate that a Senju would end up serving the Uchiha. It's a joke that Tobirama can never know, and his ignorance makes it funnier.
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getting back on my drawing slowly but surely ^^ here's an aleena
#sonic the hedgehog#sth#sth aleena#aleena the hedgehog#sorta vent in tags but its more rambling TDLR i got injured right after the other stuff lol :sob:#just a tw for xacto knives & vomitting#I probably would have gotten back sooner but I ended up having a pretty nasty accident with an Xacto knife#design students remember your xacto safety and dont end up like me#my mom says it's probably because I was distracted with other events so I wasn't paying as much attention as i should have#you always feel like they're overreacting about safety till you end up in an accident :skull:#or well#Ive been cut before with Xactos but they weren't from cutting straight against a ruler and not realizing your finger is in the way#they were mostly because of how I'd accidentally push my finger too close to the back of the knife#and circles#“Go fast with a lot of pressure” - my design teacher's instructions on straight lines... yeah. I did that.#It's kinda crazy though cause I've gotten worse injuries but HOLY FUCK#Like yeah. Spraining my ankles hurt... burns hurt... that time my elbow just decided to be unbearably painful for no reason#that last one still confuses me cause what the hell??? anyways this time was just#an actual ridiculous amount of pain for what it was#I threw up 5 times from the pain all at once... which has only ever happened before with the elbow thing#at least this was an actual reason. unlike the elbow... which I LITERALLY JUST WOKE UP AND IT WAS SEARING PAIN LIKE WHAT THE HELL????#anyways#Now that it doesnt hurt as bad it's kinda neat to look at#and think about in hindsight cause it bled a lot :sob:
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suncaptor · 4 months
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yeah this cannot go on i need to take something like my chest is exploding i can't calm down it's 7am i feel insane insane insaneeeee
#though I HAVE successfully testing that ldn gives me an insane amount of (anxious) energy when i'm on a 3-4mg dose but then i get foggy and#empty at 4-5mg i think#i'm not sure if i should go down to like 2 or try to find the window between#i wish i just had like. a year to get meds right and heallllll so badly#but i can't afford going all the way down and having more relapses#i feel like i'm having aheart attack rn it's so bad it's so acutely painful#and it's so weird bc it's so empty#too like last month i was so full of everything and especially uh attachment fear but now it's just like pain empty screaming pain#i think it's the not eating food enough thing#i mean I DID eat MANY crackers today. rolls eyes#not enough hhh#i know theres so much i have to get done but like ic annot do anything i can't even message anyone i can't i need to get sedated#i don't know if i should try having MORE ldn or ritalin (probably not bc it doesn't sedate me like adderall)#or just hydroxyzine or muscle relaxers#hydroxyzine is looking like the most likely option#bc i still associate muscle relaxers too much with trauma i can't take them they scare me#i feel like i'm dying#i don't think you guys get how fast i'm typing rn like i am going fucking insane if i die of a heart attack for real it would suck huh#no i KNOW this is panic i KNOWWWW i'm panicking but i also feel like i'm going to throw up and die forever it's so bad i feel so so bad lik#i don't think people get how bad everything is i need it to all calm down and stop i need it to get better i am not okay holy shit#you know what everything in my life might not feel fixable and i am letting all my professors down but I can probably take incompletes wors#comes to worst i need to take hydroxzyine sleep and then cave and buy some food tomorrow#like what's happening now i#there FEELS like there's a SHAARP HOOOK in my CHEST IMAPLING ME#if i sedate myself enough i might be able to communicate with people for real instead of burrowing my head into the ground forever and ever#yeah okay i'm taking hydroxzyine#i feel like the problem with antihistamines now after last year is [redcated]#trying to convinc emyself this is not a suicide attempt or self harm i just need to calm down hahahahafih;aeifahe;wifahewifae#that's what they're PRESCRIBED for#i think i want benadryl instead though bc it's shorter and it also makes me head clearer i wonder if i have any i think it's not here thoug
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daily-sloop-john-b · 3 months
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I want to see Harry Dresden as Tav. Give that wizard a gun. Have him be the token straight amongst the bisexual disasters. Let him make references none of the other tadfools understand.
He's gonna be real dubious about all the hot goddesses trying to fuck them over. Let him grab a beer with Gale and be like, 'depression year after your wizard hubris caused your girlfriend to break up with you, and you've spent a year alienating yourself from everyone but your cat? yeah, I've been there, buddy.'
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ilkkawhat · 10 days
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Heya! Hope you’re doing okay ❤️
well, i didn't cry today (and more importantly didn't cry at work in front of everybody) so I'm taking that as a sign that things are getting better...I hope 😅
#suuuuuuuuuuper awkward moment when i just started crying yesterday as one of my employees came up to me#(not one of the ones who went to HR)#and she was like 'uhm are you okay' and then i just told her to ask me what she needed to ask me lmao#god i'm just so embarassed that i cried so much this week#esp cause like. i hope it's not some sort of idk defense mechanism?#like did i just start busting out crying cause oh no my boss found out i'm not doing my job so i'm just gonna cry so she doesn't yell at me#or something like that and then keep crying to garner pity#cause that's certainly not my intention at all#i know i fucked up. badly. i'm not donig the job i SHOULD be doing#and was focusing on things i shouldn't focus on...especially like having my techs do their actual jobs#but that's my fault for not laying down the law#for not training them right in the first place for not giving them the proper expectations of what their job entails#but then they're crying that they're overwhelmed which hurts to hear when i see them disappearing just to come back with a cup of coffee#or talking to people across the building when there's no reason for them to be up there#or sitting on their phones while things pile up to be done#and then like my boss is now jumping in and is going to meet with them next week#and inserting herself and two of my other co-workers into the picture to help#which like yeah i need help. a lot of help. but they all have their own jobs#hell there's things my boss does really i should probably be doing#so knowing all of that and again just feeling like a failure at my job makes me feel even worse#like i'm not carrying my weight for the team--i've honestly never felt i have since i became supervisor#i don't think i'm meeting the expectations as a supervisor#as a tech? yeah i was a BEAST and maybe should have never applied for the supervisor job#and i even already told my boss long term career? def not in management for me lol and if i can get out of the supervisor job i will#but i would still want to stay with my boss and co-workers cause we're all trauam bondeded at this point from this workplace#but hey if the worst thing that comes out of this crisis is me getting fired for not doing my job maybe it'll be for the best#..........that's not making me feel any better though
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thedreadvampy · 2 years
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sorry I'm on one now. Narnia is one of my Big Rant triggers.
but like. I would be lying if I said I didn't love Narnia
(everything except the Horse and His Boy, which a) even as a tiny kid made me uncomfortable with how fucking racist it is (literally there is ONE. ONE. character of colour who isn't evil, selfish, greedy and violent. even when you're 5 and white and don't really understand racism it's like. sorry there are just no nice people in this whole country? and every Narnian is lovely?) and b) is just fucking DULL partly bc of the 2 dimensional racist caricatures populating the world)
but I can't pretend for a second that it isn't specifically built around a Christian theology that's explicitly racist, hierarchical, supremacist, colonialist and The Bits I Like Least Of Anglicanism
and my FAVOURITE books in the series (except the Silver Chair which tbh is WAY less theological and way more mythology-nerd) are the first and last, which are by far the most explicitly Christian. even more so than TLTWATW.
and I can just about stand by the Magician's Nephew bc it's mostly just a mix of Christian creation myth and CS Lewis's sci fi interests in the esoteric and multiverses and it honestly feels fine. but my all time favourite most iconic Narnia book is The Last Battle and I just. cannot. justify it for a second from a political or philosophical standpoint.
it's got it all bc it's the book where Lewis is like ok hold up let me lay out explicitly what my theology is. and what he thinks it's important to say is:
Almost all Muslims are bad and evil
They worship Satan by doing Bad Evil Deeds to please him
There are a couple of Good Muslims who do good deeds. they need to be brought to the light, understand that the voice calling them to do good deeds is the Christian god, and they too can achieve the kingdom of heaven
Some people will use Christianity as a mask for exploitation and mistreatment. They are bad and their faith is false (ok fine)
...and they're doing that because they're CONSPIRING WITH THE EVIL MUSLIMS TO OPPRESS GOOD CHRISTIANS
...and THAT'S THE ONLY REASON ANYONE WOULD TELL YOU THAT GOD AND ALLAH ARE DIFFERENT NAMES FOR THE SAME GOD. because they're either conning you or because they've been misled and can't really think for themselves.
DID I MENTION. THAT MUSLIMS ARE EVIL AND TRYING TO BRING DOWN CHRISTIANS.
and other than the GOD AREN'T MUSLIMS JUST THE WORST of it all, he also goes back over to more fully explain several points he's made throughout the series, such as:
white Christian public school kids are the god ordained leaders of the world and attempts to think otherwise are heretical
god places people where they need to be to serve his purpose
free will is largely an illusion - your only choice is faith or chaos, and as a godly person your actions are preordained
the problem is though. he's kind of a really good character writer? and in The Last Battle he pulls out most of his best classics (hi Reepicheep! hi Frank! hi Jill!) and gives us a whole wealth of really fun new characters (Tirian and Jewel, Emeth, Puzzle, Shift, Griffle and Ginger are all just SO FUN) and it's such a solid adventure. for me it's hands down the most FUN Narnia to read and an effective and affecting end to the series.
but like. god its unjustifiably fucked philosophy is baked into every single character and event. it's so hard to ignore. it's my favourite book in the series. it's the book that makes me angriest. it's everything right with Narnia and everything wrong with Narnia. I like it cause it asks me to engage critically with Lewis' philosophy and I hate it cause it requires me to engage critically with Lewis' philosophy.
in conclusion, Narnia is a land of contrasts. also occasionally brownface.
#red said#i love these books. i love the last battle especially.#fuck me they're awful philosophically though#they were probably the first chapter books i read when i was 3 or 4. they are such a big part of my life.#and I've always loved them and i still do. I'm so fond of them.#and part of that is inextricable from the Christianity of them. i think there's something really fun and interesting in the fusion of#christian myth and celtic paganism and classical myth and arthuriana and new age mysticism and sci fi multiverse stuff#like it's not. new to blend those things. but lewis is such a nerd about all of them and he blends them up in a really flavourful way#and also i think like as a kid. the utter claroty with which These Are Metaphors About Theology And Philosophy#really worked for me even though I disagreed with most of it. because it kind of wants to engage with you directly as a child#it is. to me. pretty honest about its intentions. and it digs into some moderately complex ideas for a young audience.#like they're parables not morality plays. the Goddier ones are inviting you to think and engage in a conversation about the ideas#which tbh. not a lot of kid's books did at the time and age i was reading them?#they wanted me to be thinking about the whys and hows of morality. like obviously Lewis SUPER has an opinion on the Right Answers#(i would usually. say we're diametrically opposed on most conclusions but then i was rooting for Jadis' army in LWW)#but idk Lewis's theology is interesting. he's very much pro faith and determinism but he ALSO thinks you should question stuff i think#like. it's often kind of self-contradictory but the books are pretty pro asking questions pushing back straying from the path#as long as you come back#and the last battle particularly is really clear that you're not doing a good job of engaging with faith if you don't think about it#like other than MUSLIMS ARE EVIL AND BAD the main message of the last battle is.#if you don't think critically about faith then someone else will think for you and fuck you over#tirian is our hero bc he has a personal and often uncertain relationship with faith that means he refuses to get swept up in the crowd#puzzle is painted as someone who is too scared of conflict to voice his concerns#he's prepared to believe he's too stupid to have his own questions or relationship with faith and so he becomes a tool of the powerful#because he is told to trust the teachings of the church not his own heart#now. do i think this is philosophically good? generally yes but it also props up the I'M A BOLD TRUTHTELLER AGAINST THE ESTABLISHMENT#reactionary tendency. and it's written by a guy whose Unpopular Truthtelling is partly 'Allah is Satan' so. grains of salt.#buuuuut. it's probably why it resonates a lot with people like me or my mum who as kids often felt constrained or patronised#by the way adults approach obedience and blind faith#like. Lewis is advocating for FAITH. he DOESN'T think that faith should be uncritical or without discomfort
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monty-glasses-roxy · 5 months
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Just had the idea of doing a Roxy askblog that's based on it being a secret blog she's not allowed to have and every so often if someone asks her something she just says stuff like "To the Fazspy reading this, I'm not the real Roxy." to try and throw the staff off her trail lmao
Will probably never make a blog like that, but it could be kinda funny. Maybe I bring the idea of an 'ask Roxy anything' game back where I draw the answers for it instead so it's not a whole ass blog dedicated to Roxy being a sneaky lil shit on the internet
#there's several reasons I probably won't do it but it's a fun spin on stuff#roxy exploring the closed off parts of the plex in first person lmao#taking pictures like 'look see? its right there!' and she's pointing at literally nothing because the camera doesn't see what her eyes see#could be funny!#but doing things is... I would say it's improving but not really#it's improving in a maybe it is maybe it isn't sort of way so who knows if I'll ever get to do it anyway#ANYWAY yeah I'll probs not do this. literally no one would interact with it#the people are bored of my plex history stuff anyway so like... yeah it's cool I know when something won't work#an askblog only works if it gets asks and uh yeah the amount of askblogs I've seen die off within a week here because of that is crazy#no thank you to that I think!#I'm not putting the effort into something like that just to have it die so fast#hi if you read this far go find an askblog and pester the shit out of them it's fun#I haven't seen any around for a while but I also can't view half of tumblr on my phone#so it's really fucking hard to see them even if I follow them :(#but yeah if there's any sb askblogs out there or anyone that wants to have a go at it tag me in a post.#I WILL show up to be silly in your inbox though I may not always remember the plot if there is one#again. I can't see half of tumblr on mobile and that includes blogs but I'll do my best man#askblogs are fun! they're goofy and chaotic!#highly recommend!! I haven't ran one in years but they were very fun!!#ANYWAY Roxy just making posts like 'Jerry. Sandy. I know what you two keep doing in the Gator Golf caravan. :)'#just name dropping random plex guests to be like 'I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE' for shits and giggles#'who are they?' 'oh just two morons that dont know I know Everything Ever. Don't worry about it.'#ya know?? fun! goofy shit! could be funny!#random pictures from inside the plex like 'lmao they think I cant see them' and its just a fucking wall like yeah I wonder why#maybe it's the fucking wall in the way who knows? it's a mystery sdfdsf#pop rox talks
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pirefyrelight · 4 months
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Ive been riding my bike to work for the past week or so and I've noticed a few things. One, of the two major roads that have bike lanes, both of them are shit and I have simply found an alternative route that uses sidestreets with less traffic, and two, random children on parking garage rooftops wildly overestimate my abilities.
To go into more detail on that second point:
The last stretch going to my work is a just steep enough decline that I've never noticed before when walking or driving, but am able to sail down into a pleasant breeze for about 3 blocks (baring stoplights and pedestrians). The downside, or rather the going up side of this, is that after a long day of work I might as well be climing everest biking home those first few blocks.
And of course, another thing I've noticed, is that no matter which way you're going there's a headwind.
So picture me, last week. 9 hour shift. No sitting down since I got on my bike that morning. Hot as balls but in that way it *could* theoretically be worse? In black pants and t-shirt as is dress code and I haven't gotten into the habit of bring shorts to change into yet. At the start of the summer I haven't been on a bike in at least 5 years, probably closer to 10, I am so incredibly out of shape.
So this goddamn child, this hooligan hanging out on the top of a three story parking garage, sees me battling for my goddam life, going uphill into a headwind and sweating so bad he can probably smell it from up there, calls "do a wheelie" like sir the only wheelie that's imminent from me is being blown back down the hill in such a way the front tires get caught first. The only trick doable from me right now is getting to the top without falling over.
#Pire.txt#I'm not actually mad#I know *do a trick* is just something people say to people on bikes and skateboards#or in a location that looks like they know how to do a backflip#I am mad about the bike lanes though#Even if they weren't shit on their own they aren't even connected to each other#They take up space on the road and for what#One is just painted lines and cars regularly drive with a wheel over the line#And the other road has barriers protecting the bike lanes but the bike lanes are like two times to wide?#You don't need two lanes for bikes on this road#You go one street to the right and you have a more scenic route with a nice wide sidewalk#You go one street to the left and you're actually downtown where all the stores and destinations are#Meanwhile I don't even drive on this particular road anymore since they still allow parking on the side that doesn't have a bike lane#And the street feels so fukin narrow now#'We need to slow down traffic in [this city]' our mayor has apparently said#To that I say shut the fuck up#I know capitalism bad but if you want to tax businesses you have to have businesses#And lately all of them have been going over the boarder to the newer city two miles away#I remember when we used to have corner stores now they're all gone to a new residential district#I also know car bad but people with cars are the ones spending money to tax#Idk sorry this was suppose to be a positive post#I think I've already noticed I'm stronger#I didn't have to stop specifically to push off for momentum at all coming home today#And my leg hasn't shaken while coasting last night or today#I am still panting like a dog and finding intersections newly confusing since I know I'm supposed to stop at stop signs#But cars don't seem to know that and wait for me even though they stopped first and are scarier#I also understand now the stereotype that bikers are pretentious assholes who ignore traffic directions because momentum is everything#I ain't coming to a full stop when I can see from a distance that there aren't any cars coming#Also I don't know if the rules are different when I'm on the sidewalk or the road I should probably look up specifics#Ups and downs to this I guess
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coquelicoq · 2 years
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currently riding the high of having told my sibling's bandmate my dorky little merch idea and him telling me it's awesome and he's going to pitch it to the band immediately 😊
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oh-cramity-its-amity · 7 months
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its so weird to read some of my old fics (do NOT do it but i'm just being hypothetical rn) and reading it. like who even was this person?? i completely was in a haze back in 2020. i literally was posting 3 chapters a day. A DAY. what in the WORLD was that shit.
anyway i remembered some STUPID sappy shit and i didnt remember if i'd put it into a fic or not BUT I FOUND IT.
She and Hope had been dating in secret for months anyway, and any attempt to go talk to Ryan only filed her disposition of displeasure upon knowing that she couldn’t tell anyone, Molly especially, it destroyed herself mentally. They couldn’t really go anywhere near the school, always having to lie to everyone about having projects together when Molly wasn’t around them. It’d consisted with 9 PM - 2 AM intervals of being able to actually see each other. Hope would sneak through her small bedroom window with a portable record player and whatever she had gotten from the vintage record store downtown, and Amy would always fall asleep around eleven because of her internal clock. She would always wake up to find a single sticky note stuck on the edge of her desk whenever she woke up to her alarm the next morning. One of them, Amy still had tucked inside of her phone case, a heavily detailed human heart, with blue and red ink sketched onto a neon pink sticky note, there was a caption that headed the small paper reading the phrase over every now and again makes her almost melt every time. “You have my heart.”
yeah idk why the fuck but i thought of this fucking idea again today and i was like "omg did i ever put that heart note thing in a fic???" yeah you fucking did.
all that to say ME AND WHO???? imagine. thats so fucking.... RAHHHH.
#NOT TOH FANFIC#see this is why i write fanfic. to enact some gay ass shit like this.#the fucking STICKY NOTE WITH A DRAWING OF A HUMAN HEART AND SAYING “YOU HAVE MY HEART” I AM ON THE FLOOR.#*sighs* sucks i cant reuse it on lumity though.#my friend making me realize i actually have rizz but am just too much of a disaster to actually understand cues with people#its a MESS. im just all over the place. i literally ranted to THE SAME FRIEND yesterday (or the day before??) abt some girl jesus.#anyway i remember writing A LOT OF POETRY back in hs about this one girl and then the same girl i got to talk to--#--my first actual conversation with her i blurted out that i wanted to shave my head. she was like.... oooooo god i was A MESS#still slid into her school dms during covid and was like “haha guess what i actually mf did???” anyway all that to say underlying dysphoria#they're nonbinary now too and i kinda ghosted them like a complete idiot :(. its been two years or so but i still think of them... a lot...#actually i have more lore about this person and its like istg they actually really liked me but i could not pick it up.#we had such SUCH good chemistry and vibes. n they were really pretty. ughhhhhh.#anyway yeah idk crushes are weird sometimes. the universe knows how unstoppable id be with a partner#i feel like i was the reason they were able to find themself and their identity because when we were talking i always encouraged them#and told them to do what felt right. im glad they did. i think sometimes that brings me peace. like i served a purpose.#STILL showed them toh. STILL SHOWED THEM TOH.#we were talking about amity LMAO “this green haired girl seems interesting” SHE SO WAS.#...yeah i wish i could text them but i kinda probably fucked it up.#shitposting shit#idk what this post is i just wanted to talk about this dumb sticky note thing because im rotating it in my brain and remembering how#mentally ill i was back in 2020#talking into the void yk how it isssss
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rosecreates · 9 months
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Raven and Astarion are basically just "Charlatan to Charlatan communication" without either realizing it because neither of them are very open about their pasts at first and in the scenario where Astarion enacts his simple plan on Raven he has no idea he is breaking Rule 0: Don't try to con another conman (or conwoman in this case).
Raven knows exactly what he's doing but she just doesn't tell him she knows until later because the game is fun.
Both of them thought this would stay a game but then they both catch feelings lmao. Absolute losers (affectionate).
#{oc ramblings}#{oc: raven}#ive been thinking more about raven with astarion because like i have major astarion brainrot ofc but like#they're real similar in several ways and i initially thought that would be their downfall as a couple but like whilst it still could be#they both are very capable of immense character development that can have it not end badly#raven already has all kinds of seeds for becoming better and i can imagine astarion would like...not intentionally push her toward that but#see he would encourage her to continue being her chaotic neutral self but i dont think he'd stay silent when he realizes shes being abused#like she keeps her past close to her chest and constantly is like 'oh drow society is just like this its fine' but everyone around her def-#is like '...you know that doesnt mean its ok you got treated the way you were treated right???'#raven wasnt sexually abused like astarion. but she did have to claw her way from the bottom to where she is. she knows extremely well she-#got lucky. and shes continued getting lucky. she's had several attempts on her life and she knows her fate is in her adoptive mom's hands#her adoptive mom could throw her out at any time. kill her even. she acts arrogant and full of herself but she knows the fragile-#foundation she stands on as part of house mizzrym. she already has dealt with lots of judgement from others. jealousy from others#her position is unstable and its also why shes real desperate to cling onto it because if she fucks up she's screwed no matter how talented#she may be. and that sort of thing isnt good for her. the constant worry about losing everything she has if she screws up.#she worked her butt off and still works her butt off to stay where she is but it can all not matter if her adoptive mother decides she's-#not worth shit anymore. even if she's killed countless of her adoptive siblings. even if she passed a test of lolth.#though she's also probably looking for a more stable position in drow society which i think her companion quest will feature her-#being offered the chance for a more stable position. im not sure what position. i originally considered the chosen of lolth but eh#maybe lolth tasked her with murdering her adoptive mother (akordia is her name) to overtake her position?#akordia possibly being the like right-hand woman of the current matron mother (her sister). i dunno.#god i wish drow lore was more centralized NBJFGNKBGF#maybe i'll rewrite the position that raven is in again to make it where she just serves house mizzrym#just. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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trans-li-ling · 2 years
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I think we should give Zora a gun and whatever happens to the Shadow Decree happens
#dislyte#Listen I'm going to be honest. I like a lot of shadow Decree characters. But also.#Given the chance I would kill them off in story because of how much I hate them.#Mainly the fact a good chunk of them are like. Okay with child murder? Like hello#The union 100% deserves criticism (hi Luo Yan the cop who got fired bc he thought the law was beneath him what's up w u being here) and#Tiye's story is. Whoooo boy. The union definitely has An Interest In Branding#But again. Orphanage burning was A Thing That Happened#And ofc there's the meta view of like... What are the bad guys ideals? Are they only evil bc they're extreme? And I try 2 keep that in mind#But like the Shadow Decree is kinda... Just full of selfish people. Ofc some ppl are more sympathetic but all of them Are Selfish#Honestly Bonnie is like the only one who stands out to me as like... Yeah the union failed her community and she's rightfully mad#Most of the others lost like. One person either to the union or just thought the shadow Decree would let them get revenge and#It's a case by case thing like some of them probably feel like they have nowhere else to go and that's understandable but the initial#Actions they took were selfish and I feel like dislyte puts too much into making the characters surface level sympathetic (Ophelia) rather#Than grappling with if they view themselves as good people or if they're disappointed in themselves or if they don't care#(forgot to say earlier Jiang Jiuli n Jiang Man r valid in hatred though like the union directly fucked them over and it's understandable#That they fucking hate them so like it's more grey)#(also this is why like... Nicole n Cecilia r some of my faves they don't give a shit they just wanna fuck stuff up and I can respect that)#And Catherine is actually well done because she's full of hatred and even if she has soft moments shes just. Mean as hell!#LYNN I love Lynn but girl you know about the orphanage burning right???? Right???????#Anyway how well known is the burning of the union? Iirc it was both the HQ and the Orphanage so do ppl only know abt the HQ or both or????#Anyway the union is flawed but trying unaffiliated espers are similar and the shadow Decree is 90% people who are selfish and toxic and#Really fucking annoying. I fucking hate Ophelia so much you have no idea I want to throw bricks at her.#Anyways Zora is the best character and deserves free therapy and a lifetime supply or tiramisu and a gun#JASPER TRIED TO FUCK W THE UNION WITHOUT JOINING YHE CHILD MURDER ORGINIZATION
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trans-leek-cookie · 1 year
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Thinking abt AITSF and the ownership of bodies
#Like my immediate first thought was about Date and [spoiler] and like. Damn. And I realize now the other character I wanna talk abt is also#Super spoiler heavy anyway spoilers for AITSF#Fuckin... it's saitos body but it's Date's body too. Is that fair though? Is Date isn't maliciously or even intentionally taking it Saito i#Literally the problem but like. Does that take away his right to his own body. He made a bad choice that he regrets and refuses to accept#Responsibility/accountability for but also like. That's his fucking body he was born in. And if u take into account the oxytocin thing. Man#Idk its just. He wanted to try rohans body but then he wants his own back. Despite the fact it probably made him miserable.#And dates just hanging out in there but his 'original' body is equally alien bc what the fuck man he's been Date for 6 years and this was#Date's fucking body bc. It just was god damn. So the question is if one of the two somehow deserves the body more. Which I think is#Obv a fucked up question but like. Yknow. You probably shouldn't lose the rights to ur body bc of being a bad person bc yknow human rights#Are human rights but also there's no malintent from date initially and he also Did Not Make The Choice so like. Who gets the body in the#Divorce. Anyway they're both Serial killers so like.#Anyway manaka.... in the warehouse... I could maybe contrast this by saying smthn abt date and Saito being two owners of one body while#Manaka is divorced from her own body. But idk. Manaka wasn't given a proper funeral for a long long time. Would she have wanted one?#Her body helped solve the case but. Damn. She doesn't have any wants bc she dead but still. I don't think anyone would want their body#Frozen like that for years. I think she'd at least want a grave her daughter and friends could visit. But she can't have that#Anyway fuck so sejima I wish he died in canon
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thebiggestmenace · 1 year
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That whole ‘violent heart’ thing pissed me off so much. Was it even in the game?
I remember listening to the official podcast after that episode aired and it made me so mad.
They toned down on the violence for season 1, so it seems they’re looking for ways to explain why Ellie is so violent in the future seasons, and it irritates me.
They can just easily pin it on the post-apocalyptic world and Ellie’s grief, but for some reason they had to say her assaulter was right?? Ugh it’s just so gross
it pisses me off so much. I don't think it's in the game? they just added that to make him Worse.
I listened to the podcast afterwards, but that one specifically made me mad, too. there's just so many things to this. I think it's the fact they were able to get into David's head? so the whole podcast for the episode just feels like an extension of it, if that makes sense?
I agree! and also never thought of that being why they toned down the violence. I hate it. they don't really need to explain why Ellie is so violent in the next seasons. you don't need to do that! her father figure was brutally murdered right in front of her! and in this post-apocalyptic world, what else is she meant to do? I think violence has a very different meaning in this setting cause you have to be violent sometimes. we can clearly see that Ellie doesn't want to be violent - Bethany started that fight. yes, Ellie turned it physical, but Bethany started that. with Riley, she did what she had to and we're leaving it at that. with Bryan, it was between him and Joel. she doesn't know Bryan, and, obviously, he's a threat. if she didn't shoot him, Joel could've been seriously injured. but even with her shooting him, it wasn't to kill. it was in his back, he maybe could've survived that. with David, she was completely in the right. he was a complete and utter threat to everything about her, she did what she needed. but with all of this, not all of them were that violent. like, only one of these things was deadly. she doesn't have a violent heart and I hate hate hate that they're trying to say that she does, in order to set up the next seasons. what she did and what she ends up doing isn't because she has a violent heart. it's because she's trying to avenge her father figure, but you can clearly see the effects it's having on her. if she did have a violent heart, she wouldn't be taken aback like she is
exactly! trying to say her assaulter was right??? so fucking disgusting and why would they even say that?? she grew up in a post-apocalyptic world, but she's still affected by what she's done. that isn't a violent heart.
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cactusdodes · 1 year
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#my anxiety is having a flare up#i don't think you really use 'flare ups' in the context of anxiety bc it doesn't work that way really but that's what it feels like for me#lately#like i feel like in general my anxiety has gotten a lot better lately. i still have a slight hum of underlying anxiety but i've been pretty#good at ignoring it and getting over it the last yearish but sometimes it's harder to ignore and gets a lil worse for short periods#esp when it comes to my relationships/interactions with people#bc i have no reason to think that the person i'm seeing 'n' has lost interest in me#but they haven't been texting me as much as they usually do the last few days and my anxiety is picking up and ignoring all the#very logical explanations and very extremely likely reasons#they're moving this weekend and didn't really start packing until last week so i know they're busy with that#ontop of everything else they do and work and everything. i know they're super fucking busy rn#and i was also out of town on a trip and they're def the type of person that was probably thinking they don't want to pester me on my trip#(they wouldn't have been)#and also like. they stopped by my job the night before i left to bring me my contact lenses and they were so smiley and excited to see me#even though it was just for a couple minutes#and they facetimed me right before my friend and i left for our trip just to talk to me for a bit and see my face#and they were again so smiley and really seemed like they liked me#so yeah.. logically i know i'm overthinking it and they're not annoyed with me#i know it's just that they're busy. the few other times they've been a little dry with texting was when they#we're super busy/going through some shit#so like i know that's all it is realistically#but my stupid anxiety and self worth issues always automatically going to 'you annoyed them. you fucked something up. they finally realized#you're not actually cool or hot and hot over you but are too sweet to tell you'#which i know is dumb#it's also not fair to them to assume that#it's not fair to them to think that of them#i just like them so much 🥺 but i do know they like me back#they've told me and they act like it#i just get scared#blake says shit
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