#they're not going to do anything with him

[gothamite-rambler]

I'd like to add that this is up there but oh my God the ones where the asshole makes you want to scream "How do you not see it!"

Those include:

The mother who harassed a teen girl at the mall under the assumption she stole her father's card (these two people don't know each other btw). She made a big spectacle and I shit you not added "My son is forbidden from using my card so I clearly know she stole it." The girl had to pay with her money because the cashier admitted if someone is accusing her and it turned out to be true the store could be in trouble (pretty much leaning to the fact this girl had her father's permission) and the girl left crying. Everyone in the store glared at the woman and this psycho's husband even said she was the asshole. She even wrote the post in a "guys tell my husband I'm write" type of fashion.

A girl said she was her sister to get out of a speeding ticket. All the sister did after that was admit that wasn't her. This got OP arrested and charged twice but her and her shitty family proceeded to ostracize the girl and acting like she can drop the charges and she's the bad guy because op was the first to go to college... If she's speeding like a lunatic and has been charged before that's her fault! Even her reason for not being on was spiteful and amounted to "My sister ruined my life!"

A guy cheated on a coding exam and I mean cheated. He paid someone to do the assignment in rust when it was C++ and the partner (a woman) did damn near all the work. Then he said he did the work which got her failing grade and the sexist professor refused to change her grade. Oh and he admitted in the comments unintentionally it wasn't a tutor he got and that even if it was those weren't allowed. Like why are you going to a coding class?!

A man and his hopefully ex girl went to a kpop concert. The boyfriend was a jackass and proceeded to shame her for listening to the bad brought up how she's too old to be a fan and mocked her in front of their friends who were equally disgusted by his reaction. He refused to apologize and she didn't bring him another concert... And he didn't know why.

There was one where a father shamed his daughter because her tampon fell out in the pool. Not only that though he proceeded to lock her in the room on the cruise and take away anything fun. Over an accident and yes he's the "just hold you period blood" guys (I hope it was fake though)

One where a mother punished her step daughter on vacation because the kid and her man child husband were competing and instead of this grown woman telling her husband to stop and teaching her daughter to not do dumb competitions, she punished the daughter. Oh and the replied implied she doesn't even like her daughter and sees her spoiled (she had limited custody btw)

A father basically left his daughter stranded on New Year's Eve because she broke some dumb rule. Like he hung up the phone and went to bed! The mother (he was divorced from her) got the girl and called the dude out and said the daughter would stay with her and this goober has the audacity to say that went against the custody agreement... You abandoned her!

A man found out his girlfriend wrote fanfiction and because of that ridiculed her and dismissed the doctorate she earned to the point his own family were calling him out.

Last one, a guy was in a cooking class and decided to bully and shame a woman in the class because she was a beginner. It was a beginner cooking class btw. The way he talked and acted was so smug to the point that the lady could've been revealed to burn the soup she was making but he was a bigger ass.

Oh and a lot of these where they're the asshole end with some variation of "They have a right to be mad... But I think they overreacted." Oh and double points if after the ruling they delete their whole account, get suspended or banned or double down not being the butthole in the comments.

Verdict: Sometimes it's okay to just admit you're an ass if you can't take the opinion of redditors!

This mom sounds so unpleasant to be around idk why her daughter even invited her in the first place

[wasyago]

Falls in, i would love to hear about this decked out/failed cave exploration au pls pls pls already i am Bewitched

hehehe [in tango's voice] sighh i suppose...

really im very tempted to just let it sit and not tell anything, because it's so fun seeing people theorize and point out details in the notes. but yeah i guess i shouldn't gatekeep it, its a fun au!

i do want to state in the beginning that it was a one-off thing and i have no plans on continuing it or drawing more for it. if you do tho? feel free! (not asking for fanart by any means, but giving the green light if anyone was wondering)

well

-------

Pet crew were a group of cave explorers. They're no experts by any means but they were no amateurs either! (ignore the fact that they're not wearing any PPE, i didn't want to draw it, ok--) And recently they've been excited about mapping out a new cave system they found, completely unexplored according to their research.

Tango, always a big lover of his plans and spreadsheets, presumably decided to go in alone ahead of time to sketch out at least a rough draft for a map, so they had an idea of what they're going to be dealing with.

But see, this cave is not an ordinary cave, no matter how pristine and untouched it looked. It is one gigantic organism of unknown origin, and a hunrgy one at that, the air inside it is filled with little cells or spores that, when inhaled enough, start taking over the body and corroding it to the cave's will. Killing the host in the process.

So, obviously, after spending some time in the cave by himself, Tango did get some cells in him. Not enough to be noticeable, but enough to give him a headstart on the corruption when the group went in for a proper dive some days later.

The first symptoms of undergoing the change are pretty standard: light fever, weakness, dizziness — easy to mistake for a flu.

Which is exactly what Tango did. Of course, going caving with a flu is not a smart thing to do either, but the group has been planning this trip for so long, delaying it even more because someone was slightly under the weather would've been foolish!

The cave started off with a big drop, requiring a rope to be set up, and then sprawled into a system of tunnels. Tango and Pearl were very excited to find an entrance to some ancient tombs a couple of hours into the dive. There were stairs leading even deeper underground, which turned out to be an entrance to a bigger cave system, with a huge frozen lake in the middle and an entrance to abandoned mines.

Further symptoms include skin turning pale, graying hair, eyes starting to shift color to red. Previous symptoms remain and intensify.

Tango had always been pale, he had blond hair too, and in the dark it was hard to notice the white streaks in them. The pink cheeks were easily passed as a result of being in the cold. Pearl did express some concerns about Tango's well-being when he started to fall back a bit, but he dismissed it as just him getting tired. By that point Pearl seemed to also have some "frost" in her hair.

After the hair have fully turned white, the tips start to switch color to an unnatural blue. Skin eventually loses color completely, turning gray. Fever intensifies as body desperately tries to fight the infection.

At that point it was impossible to deny that something was wrong with Tango. There are no mirrors underground though, so to him it was just his flu getting out of hand. Guilty of hiding his illness, yes, but nothing critical. The blue hair however were not normal, and the other two were freaking out a bit more than Tango would've hoped for.

They had an argument.

Etho snapped and hit Tango to beat some sense into his stupid head.

By that point Pearl was clearly looking bad too, and Etho's own hair were apparently turning white. They were all feeling terrible, physically and mentally. They decided to head home.

As previously stated, the cave is in fact alive and can sense when something that belongs to it is trying to escape. In an effort to stop it, the whole cave system comes to life. Old animal carcasses rise and start walking, small screeching creatures begin patrolling the tombs, the ice melts and the cave blooms in dangerous ways.

When the crew exited the mines into the second level of the cave system, it was apparent that the way back would be a lot harder. By that point Tango was struggling to stand and Etho had to drop his equipment to carry him. But the fever and the dizziness were making it hard to move fast, the changed layout of the cave was difficult to navigate even with their map, and the way to the surface was still very and very long. It was obvious they couldn't make it out....

Unless they were willing to make some sacrifices.

Etho isn't proud of his decision, but leaving Tango was their only option! He and Pearl still had a chance to escape if they moved quickly, but Tango was just too far gone, he couldn't-- Etho couldn't carry him to the exit, he was getting too tired, and if they all stuck together it would get all three of them killed! Was it not better for at least two of them to survive instead of-

They had another argument.

Pearl stubbornly insisted on taking Tango, so Etho had to lie to her and say that they will come back once they scout out the way. Etho couldn't force himself to look at Tango though, if he did he would be met with this knowing look and he just couldn't bear it. Tango cried when they were leaving.

After the body succumbs to the fever it stays dead for a short period of time, while the rest of the changes set in.

It took a miracle for both Etho and Pearl to reach the tombs, but the hard part came after. Etho did everything in his power to convince Pearl to leave with him, he said they will come back later when they're better prepared, he said it was too late to help Tango, he said it was Tango's own fault, he said many bad things, none of which were enough to change Pearl's mind. She turned back and Etho didn't follow her.

He ran through the tombs and the caves alone, losing his eye to a monster he saw all too late. It was painful and it was disorienting, Etho doesn't even remember how he got to the initial drop they went down, he was panicking and only moving forward because of adrenaline and instinct. The ascend was a fever dream, Etho doesn't know how he didn't fall to his death then.

Through the rush of blood in his head, Etho heard the faint sound of Tango's voice. Too cheery for his feverish condition, and much, much closer, a lot closer than the place they left him to die in. He did not hear Pearl. The sound stopped when it was right under him, and he felt a light tug on the rope he was hanging of. And nothing else happened...

Etho emerged from the cave into the cold night, stumbling over his own feet, too tired to run. Their van was parked over by the entrance and Gem was already waiting for him. Him — shaking, bloody and alone.

...

The body reanimates again, now obedient to the cave's will. It is no longer alive but it is not dead either, frozen, stalking through the tunnels in a mindless haze.

[mattslolita]

Chris fucking Bambi in the empty locker room after her volleyball game

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

"o-oh, chris, don't stop, please..."

the rattling of the lockers in front of you both were loud enough for anyone to notice the current events taking place — but chris didn't care. the only thing consuming his brain was how your gummy walls squeezed his cock with every thrust, your back arched against the bench as he lands a smack to your ass.

"takin' me so good, angel, fuck," chris groans, speeding his pace, grip on your hips so tight it was sure to leave marks.

"m'close," you whine loudly, holding onto the lockers for support, "oh, right there..."

chris's breath fans the shell of your ear, his loud grunts going straight to your core as he nibbles on your earlobe — his hips snap forward, cock brushing against your cervix deliciously as he rams into you. at this point, you didn't even care if someone saw you both; the idea of someone watching turned you on, if anything.

his hand goes down to your dripping pussy, rubbing tight, fast circles on your clit as he continues his assault on on your pussy.

"g-gonna cum," you babble out, eyes rolling to the back of your head.

"thas' it angel, cum f'me," chris growls, "fuck..."

you didn't need to be told twice — your orgasm washes over you, legs spasming as you cum around his cock, your liquids leaving a white substance on his mushroom tip. chris's eyes possessively narrow at where your bodies connect with each other, reveling in the fact that it was only him who got to make you feel this good.

"shit gonna fill you up, ma," chris moans, his thrusts getting sloppier, "ah, shit..."

his cock twitches inside of you, milky white essence spilling out inside of your velvety walls, painting them white. lewd moans spill from both of your lips, riding out your highs. chris pulls out of you, his cock falling limp against his stomach as you both catch your breath.

you turned around, smiling at him shyly as he removes a sticky braid from your face, swear coating your glowing features. "do they have paper towels in here?"

"mhm, they're right by the sink!" you tell him as he's pulling his pants back up, nodding.

he quickly leaves to wet some paper towels, and you hurriedly put your shirt back over yourself. when he comes back, he gently holds you in place as he dabs in between your legs with the paper towel. you giggled slightly as you watched him, running your fingers through his hair as he concentrates on cleaning you up.

"alright kid, put these back on so we can go," chris instructs you, holding your volleyball shorts up to you.

you give him a confused expression as you take the shorts, tilting your head slightly. "thanks baby but i'm, where are my underwear?"

a sly grin fixes it's way onto chris's lips as he fishes them out of his back pocket, dangling them in your face causing you to gasp and shake your head.

"you perv! you're buying me new ones."

"don't even have to ask, mama," chris smirks, running his hand along the stubble on his jaw, "now let's go, i got still got one more surprise for your first place."

[servicpop]

nude beach adrien ( deliquent oc ) x ftm reader

ⓘ⠀reader has top surgery , use of cunt & pussy , fingering , public ( on beach )

Tans, seashells, crisp soda and icecream, perfect for a hot sunny day.

It was an idea pitched by one of your friends to hold a class beach day, and as the student president, you agreed and began to plan. The message you sent into the class group chat was bombarded with positive replies the moment you mentioned the word 'beach.' It seemed like alot of your classmates either wanted to escape studying or needed a break to cool off.

A familiar icon popped up underneath your message, Adrien's, but he didn't reply so you just guessed he would skip this event out too.

Stuffed in a car with all your friends, you allocated each friend to bring different things like drinks, food, beach balls and towels. You were in charge of packing the beach umbrellas and foldable chairs.

It was about a 3 hour trip to a beach nearby; one that wouldn't be bombarded with little children and an abundance of people.

When you got there with your friends — a little earlier than the set time — you took the initiative to start helping out with things and putting down your chairs and umbrellas. As you're hauling out the items from the trunk, you could faintly hear the raspy sound of someone calling out.

“Adrien, give me a hand here!” Your head instinctively turns to meet eyes with that stupid deliquent who seems to always show up wherever you are.

He was unusually early, perhaps earlier than you.

Adrien shoots you a toothy smirk before turning back to his buddy, helping the guy lift a cooler filled with sodas and probably beer as well. You shrug him off with a small scoff, rolling your eyes before going back to set up your things

You've successfully put up an umbrella and a deck chair away from the water, letting your body relax on the chair.

You weren't even planning on swimming today but you brought a shirt and some swim shorts just in case you wanted to just dip your feet into the icy water and feel the waves crash against your knees.

Staring out to the shore you watch as your friends run into the water, splashing and kicking sand up st eachother. You would join but, swimming wasn't something you particularly liked, especially the feeling of your wet swimsuit sticking to your skin.

“What are you doing all alone, prez?” His voice comes out smooth and almost tantalizing as a hand slides over your shoulder. You flinch harshly, whipping your head around to see Adrien in his full glory, shirt off, slightly damp hair and crystal clear water droplets gliding down the curves of his muscles.

Before you could say anything, Adrien pulls up another chair and slides it right beside you. The wooden bits of the deck chair clink together and he lowers himself on it with a small sigh of relief.

“The boys are playing like gladiators out there, felt like I was gonna die,” He laughs and you see his chest stutter as he does. He lets his head rest on his hand, elbow jutted out as he turns to face you.

“But really, why aren't you swimming? I'd love to see you shirtless and wet.” You roll your eyes and scoff, shaking your head as you stretch out your legs.

“I just don't feel like it,” You hum nonchalantly which earns a breathless laugh from Adrien. He places a hand on your stomach, inching closer to you. His fingers lightly drum on your stomach, earning that slight hollow sound.

He flicks your shirt up and burrows his hand underneath it, making a slow ascend to your chest, tracing over the raised lines underneath it.

“They're healed enough,” he points out, “Just let me see them.”

Your eyes quickly dart around, making sure that no one is watching. The beach stretches out quite far so the majority of the people were situated towards the middle with you and Adrien being in a more empty area.

You don't fight it, you just look away as he pulls up the shirt to your chin. The cool ocean breeze hits your bare chest, pulling out a view shivers from you. Adrien has seen your scars, multiple times but its always a surprise to see how his eyes soften and how he caresses them so delicately.

“Y'know people won't care if you just swim shirtless, you're a dude it doesn't matter,” He's leaning his head over to kiss your scars in which you push his face away. He laughs and moves his hands back down to rest on your lower stomach.

“You should get out of here before anyone sees you talking with me,” You manage to breathe out, moving your hand to his, attempting to pry them off your exposed skin. Being in such an open area with all your classmates undoubtedly gets you anxious, especially considering how long you've kept your relationship with Adrien a secret.

“Why? People can't handle me spending time with my boyfriend?” It just rolls off his tongue the way he claims you're his — even when you're not.

You're about to retaliate, about to shout whatever insult that comes to mind but you feel his hand move down to cup your crotch. Your body jerks at the touch and you shoot him a glare but he returns it with a sly smile.

“You're not my boyfriend,” you manage to force the words out your throat.

“Yeah but can any guy make you feel like this?” His fingers dig into the fabric of your shorts, pushing pressure onto your cunt. You can't help the curses that flow from your lips and the fact that you're arching your back into his hands.

“They don't know how to treat you right, only I can,” You can hear the jealousy drip off his tone like honey on a stick: thick and sickly sweet.

His fingers are brought back up and now he's pulling at your waistband, dipping his fingers underneath your shorts. His hand just glides over the smooth expanse of your pelvis, dipping down to your sweet, slick sex. Adrien starts by parting your folds with his index and his ring finger, skimming his middle over your fluttering hole.

You're so wet he can hear every movement his finger makes on you.

His thumb finds your clit, pushing the tip of it against that bundle of nerves. He's massaging circles on it, punching out a loud whine from your throat.

“Shit cutie, you're sensitive there?” He laughs, moving his hand lower so he could press his palm against it. Your little mewls and the way you grip onto the side of the chair so tightly makes Adrien want to rip your clothes off and fuck the daylights out of you, but he can't, he'll get caught almost instantly.

His fingers finally meet your hole, pushing in one finger slowly. You gasp, hips rolling up to grind your clit against his palm as he stuffs his finger into you. Adrien laughs again like he's having fun drawing all these reactions out of you.

Your warm, gummy walls hug his finger so snugly he has to slip in another one just to loosen you up a bit. He groans, driving his middle and ring finger into you. Everytime he pulls them back and slams them in your legs tremble and that obscene wet noise rings through his head like the aftermath of a drug.

“You like that prez? Such a good boy f'me aren't you?” Adrien bites his own, chapped lips, repeatedly ramming his fingers into you, watching as you laid your head back and let the moans spill out from your parted lips. The moment he starts curling his fingers up your body tenses and you absent-mindedly grab onto his forearm.

You're seeing stars with the way he's hitting your G-spot every single time he drives his fingers deeper into you.

“Fuck— ah– Adrien,” You cry out, moving your hand down to push down on his, encouraging him to put more pressure on your pussy. He gladly obliges, moving his fingers faster and pushing his palm against your clit with more force than before.

The familiar feeling of a knot wells up in the pit of your stomach and you know you're about to cum.

“C'mon, that's it.” Adrien can tell you're close from the quivering of your knees and the way sweat trickles down your forehead. He kisses the salt away before groaning as he feels his fingers get soaked from your orgasm.

He pumps his fingers slowly, letting you ride out your high before stopping completely.

“Shit, let me eat you out next tim—”

“Stop talking.”

doctors note ; hope i did alright for my first time writing for ftm reader T T

[peculiarreality]

Not OP but people need spaces to decompress. It's a fact of human life that stress can (and is proven to) lead to significant health issues.

(Specifying that I'm using the general "you" here and not specifically you. Everyone is different physically and mentally, and maybe you specifically aren't affected this way, I don't know.)

Not having a place away from politics and the horrors of the world is just piling unnecessary stress on yourself and, honestly? I'd argue it's a form of self-harm and a little bit ableist. If you're constantly having the horrors of the world shoved in your face in a place you go to decompress and destress, you're going to end up resenting what you once enjoyed. You're going to lose an outlet for your own stress.

You're going to start getting outraged at people, who you don't know if they're activists in their own lives, for taking a break so they can later keep doing their activist stuff. You're going to get outraged at the autistic person who hyperfixates on video games and avoids the news because they can't mentally handle it. You're going to get outraged at mentally ill or neurodivergent people who get enough of the real world horrors in their daily life and need to take a step back or they'll have a mental breakdown.

Again, this is all general. I'm not saying this is about you specifically, just a general thing I've noticed among people who insist that everyone needs to care about every horrible thing in the world or they don't care about their fellow humans.

Because as that autistic enby who has a mental breakdown when too much emotional crap is piled on him, I DO care about what's going on... I just can't care all the time. I need spaces that are free of politics and anything else going on irl in order to stay sane and help where I can.

I am actually begging some people to just let some spaces exist untouched by real-world issues and horrors.

Like I've lost count of the amount of times peaceful game or fandom servers have been ruined by people stampeding in with political rants, bitching about world issues, demanding internal activism, demanding vent channels so they can whine about their shitty parents, ect.

Like. Respectfully. Not every single space has to be inclusive of and welcoming of outside topics. The real world sucks. We don't needed to be reminded of that absolutely everywhere.

[cinnamxnangel]

showstopper ! (mlist)

warnings: none rlly! fluff, banter, banter, banter

chapter 4: it's not a date .ᐟ

"and cut! y/n, megumi i'd like to speak with you. privately." gojo calls out.

the three of us sit down in the producers lounge, waiting for someone to speak.

"you both are incredibly talented," gojo starts. "i don't have to say that, your work and success speaks for itself." i smile. "but i'm not feeling a lot of chemistry when we're filming. i know you guys may have your own feelings about each other," he says eyeing the both of us.

i didn't realize our dislike for each other was that apparent.

"that's fine and it's none of my bussines," gojo leans back. "but on set it's a different thing. it's a job, right?" megumi nods slowly. "that's why i think you two should go on a date of sorts."

"what?" we both exclaim at the same time. i look at him, annoyed.

"relax.. it's only for an hour. and it's not even a date, just the two of you hanging out alone." i can see gojo fighting the smirk on his face.

i want to slap it off.

"what are we supposed to do?" megumi asks. he hasn't looked at me this entire time.

he talks like i'm not even in the room.

"i don't know." gojo shrugs, the sly smirk now painfully visible. "you're both adults, figure it out."

we walk in an uncomfortable silence, purposefully not meeting each other's eyes. i hear a couple of kids laughing, running quickly to their destination. i crane my neck to see where they're off to in such a hurry. my eyes meet with a brightly lit neon sign that reads "arcade".

a smile finds its way to my face as i recall the days where i too found such excitement over simple things.

"what are you looking at?" megumi asks, realizing i've stopped in my tracks. "you can't be serious." he sighs once he reads the sign. i smile.

why can't i enjoy these things again?

my feet seem to move on their own towards the arcade, megumi unwillingly following behind me.

"what are you? 4 years old?" i roll my eyes.

"are you always this grumpy?" i ask.

" 'm not grumpy." he says, in an almost pout. it makes me laugh.

"i feel bad for anyone who has the displeasure of meeting you."

"self-pity isn't a good look on you."

"i wonder how your fans would feel if they knew how you really are?"

"they would say 'i can fix him'. my fans are delusional, they'd do anything for me." his words are sweet, but there's a look of distaste on his face, like they leave a bad taste in his mouth.

"what? you don't like your fans?" i ask, a slight smirk on my face.

"i never said that." he mumbles, avoiding my gaze.

"didn't need to," i shrug. i walk to the front, buying the ticket cards. i look over at megumi, one eyebrow raised. "do you want one?" i can see megumi contemplate the idea before finally exclaim..

"ah fuck it." i grin, buying cards for both of us. i thank the person, collecting the the cards. i hand one to megumi.

"you didn't even offer to pay?"

"you're a a-list celebrity, you don't need someone to pay for you."

"you're an a-list celebrity too. it wouldn't hurt to offer." i say.

"this was your idea, you pay." i roll my eyes.

rude, i think but from the expression of his face i realize i said that out loud.

"soo what'd you want to do first, princess?"

"don't call me that," i retort, shooting him a glare. i look around, the sounds of lasers and people's laughter filling my ears.

"uhmm.." my eyes linger on the giant crossy road game. i walk over, megumi trailing behind me. "i used to play this game all the time. i was soo good." i tap my card and place my fingers over the buttons.

i forgot how fast-paced this game was and i struggle to keep up. i die almost instantaneously.

"7 ?!" i exclaim. i can see megumi trying to hide his smile in the corner of my eye. i glare at him.

"like you could do better." a look of pure determination flashes in his eyes.

"oh yeah? bet." he taps his card and begins furiously clicking the buttons. he gets well past 7, finally dying when he gets to 151 points. he groans when he dies but looks at me with a smirk.

heat rises to my cheeks under his belittling gaze. "i haven't played in years, okay?" anger finding its way into my voice.

we continue playing for hours, these games turning into a competition, we had both won four, the last game deciding who's the winner.

"so what do i get when i win?" i ask, a smug smile plastered over my face.

"so certain you're going to win, huh?"

"of course." he lets out a laugh.

"what?" i ask, my brows furrowed.

"nothing, it'll just be all the more satisfying when i win." a ghost of a smile on his features.

his smile.

it was never sweet or genuine. it felt demeaning.

words cannot explain how badly i wanted to wipe that look off his face.

"ooo! let's play basketball!" i say, spotting the mini basketball game.

"alright. but I have to warn you, i used to play basketball in high school." my eyebrows shoot up at the idea of megumi being 15 years old, running around sweaty in a school gym. "don't look so disturbed."

"actually the idea of you being a ugly, awkward teenager brings me a lot of joy."

"i actually wasn't awkward or ugly."

"i think you're as delusional as your fans."

"okay, but we should have a prize or the loser has to do something." i say. megumi leans against the machine, thinking, his thumb and forefinger tapping furiously against each other.

"oh! if you lose you have to go on a date with my assistant." he says with a smug look on his face. i can tell from the look in his eyes that his assistant might not be the most normal person. but i take my chance.

"okay. but if you lose, you have to.. wear a shirt with my face on it for an entire day!" i smile. he shrugs.

"that's fine, you're not going to win. i suggest bringing pepper spray on your date."

we swipe your cards and grab the basketballs. there's a two minute timer, whoever gets the most points wins.

3, 2, 1.. go!

we both start to throw our shots and i don't bother to see how megumi's doing.

1 minute remaining !

"you might also need to bring a bodyguard. like a big one, todo is really buff."

"shh don't talk to me, i'm locked in." i don't look at him as i answer, continuing shooting.

time's up !

we look at the amount of points and-

"i win!" i exclaim. i jump up, a goofy smile painted over my face. his look of defeat brings so much satisfaction.

"you got lucky." he rolls his eyes. we exit the arcade while i continue to berate him and a scowl stays planted on his face.

but we don't notice, is the click of a camera, capturing a mundane moment between the two of us.

roll the credits !

first date? but neither of them like each other

arcade dates are SO cute! when is it my turn? huh?

also not the pap rn

can you guys feel the ship edits, ESPECIALLY w megumi wearing her face

a/n: i had loads of fun writing this one. we are getting more plot heavy 😈 next chapter will be interesting.. have an amazing, amazing day my angels!

taglist ! - @missunrise @cyberst4rs @qtnfer @rxi-n-lyche3 @kenmacantakemeaway @soobinbunnie5 @c-haefilms @lupicalbestwolf @babysoo-meu @stillnotherapy @cl3xr @starrysho @good-mourning0 @ifuhatemeiloveu @bunichuu @aestheticallyvini @mochroialainn @starsryi @ladytamayolover @megumislovedoll @dimwitfreakby @urfavlarry @yowumi @bubybubsters @gumims @samkickikc @sukuna5slut @sugacor3 @angelcakkess @rixo-19 @idkidk32 @pandabiene5115 @q2uq2u @ichorstainedskin @izanacult @adormae @samkickikc @meowforluv

[the-pineapple-talks]

Yeah like I said the reason it doesn't work is because the U.S. voting system sucks.

I also think you misunderstand me lol. I am not from the U.S., I am from Colombia, a way more poor and underprivileged country in South America. I grew up to absuive parents and older sister and had to work myself and my younger sister pur of there by myself with no support from my extended family. We are one of the countries, btw, that the U.S. has tried to imperialize but people here are thankfully very resilient and very wary of the U.S. government. This is partly why I have this view of "you can have your own internal problems as long as you're not invading other counties". In case you're not aware, Colombia is a country with a lot of internal violence and organized crime. My family has had to move due to thread from this. Crime is at an all-time high here and our coin is at all time low. We wear about 1.85$ USD for an hour of work for a 48h week with a bachelor diploma and that's if you're lucky enough to get a job, and 1kg of meat is about $10USD. Every time you get on a bus in a busy city you know there's a chance you get robbed at knife point. If you're walking down the street you don't take your phone out or you might get robbed and even then you might get robbet. Because of the problems in Venezuela we noe have a lot of illegal venezuelan immigrants, who cannot get hired because they're not documented, this has led to an increase in petty theft too. And this is from my point of view in a city. Harder to reach areas have to go without electricity, water or food sometimes.

If you go to protests, you know there's a chance you get arrested and you never return home. Still we do it, because we want our country and our people to be better.

We have like 20 political parties, more counting the small ones, and people consider any of them when voting, and every person's vote has actual value. We also have healthcare.

My point is, I don't say this because I'm privileged, working as an influencer in California or something like that, I just have a different point of view. I think not considering third party candidates really limits what you can do for your country. It also sucks that they don't get as well platformed. I also think it shows how divided the country is that Trump won but everyone "seems" upset about it. Yet the majority chose him, so there's clearly a BIG disconnect in the identity of the people, idk.

In Colombia in our last elections also a very... worrying... guy won, but when he won there wasn't this sense of disconnect.

And anyway, you seem to get very defensive about this so I'll also clarify, in the other posts, in tbe replies, I'm just asking. When I say "what are you fleeing from? What is going on?" I'm not accusing anyone of not having anything to flee from, I would just like to know the answer to the question.

In the future, when someone disagrees with you don't assume malice when you can just assume that... 2 people have different POVs.

[yanmuffins]

I like to think Perry is friends with superman. And superman knows readers pet cause he's seen him at Wayne manor but out of respect for being one of the few to out smart lex says nothing about the pets escapades to the Wayne's. Like Clark is just like oh "hey Perry how are ya" and bruce is like "how do you know my kids pet?" "Uhhhhh Jon told me?"

On the other hand Clark has no idea why Perry likes to be treated as a pet despite being a full on super hero. Then he sees how sweetly reader treats Perry and understands that the secret agent just wants some love.

Also another funny thing that would be interesting is if reader had no idea thier family is a bunch of vigilantes. So then it seems like both have their secrets, but much like Phineas, reader isn't trying to hide anything meanwhile batfam is explaining every weird vigilante thing they do.

context &. context &. context.

this is so cute!!!!! ✧｡٩(ˊᗜˋ )و✧*｡

clark thinks it's such a happy coincidence. his platypus-secret-agent-also-league-member-coworker just so happens to live with batman's kid, same one whom jon is always going on and on about. the stories his son tells appear too fantastical to be true, but he witnessess it firsthand and is honestly impressed.

he's very natural about it, though. he sees reader, jon and damian building a tower to the moon he just waves at the three of them, telling them to be safe and for jon to be home before dinner. not really sure if he assumes batman knows of his kid's inventions or if he deliberately chooses not to tell him, though.

you are so right about reader not knowing about their family being vigilantes, btw. they kinda give up on making the family try to like them and become very much focused in their own little world, adapting to a new city, doing well in school, keeping in touch with their old friends in metropolis and making new ones in gotham, and ofc enjoying summer to the fullest. that, and with reader being a little oblivious, the little clues that could have made them realize they're living in batman's house go right over their head.

they're very confused when they come across something that is suspicious (in the bafam's eyes) but incospicuous to them, while one of the batfam tries to come up with an excuse. reader just shrugs and leaves. what they do know is that this house is full of weirdoes.

[elixrr]

“What now?” You ask.

“What do you mean?” He asks.

“What do we do now? We've lost... everyone.”

“We still have each other, I think.”

Silence. The weight of it all settles upon you.

“You think?”

He clenches his jaws. “I think.”

Silence.

“You're going to leave too, you know.”

He looks over at you. “What?”

“I know you're not the reason why they left.”

“What's that got to do with anything?”

“I think I'm the reason why they left.”

Silence.

“But I don't know the reason why they left.”

“It was probably because of me.” You sigh.

“I doubt it.” He retorts.

Pause. Hesitation circles back around.

“I don't know why they actually left, but...”

“But..?”

“...I'm not thinking what they're thinking. I don't see their reason for leaving, nor do I even share it. I don't know why they left, and I might never know, but I personally have every reason to stay right here, right beside you, and absolutely no reason to do otherwise.”

“Huh?”

“You heard me.”

But you don't believe him. Silence.

“I want to be convinced.” You finally say.

“Then believe me.”

“I don't know why I can't believe you.”

He opens his mouth to say something, but hesitation settles in. He doesn't say anything. Silence.

“I love you.” He mutters.

“You— you what? ”

“Sorry.” He buries his face in his hands.

“No no, what did you say?”

“I said I love you.” He says louder and clearer.

Silence. He wants to run off, but it won't do any good for either of you.

“So you... like me?” You hesitate.

“Yeah. Except I actually love you.”

Hesitation. You want to say it back.

“I–? I don't—”

“I know,” he sighs. “I'm sorry.”

“I do, I like you too, I just...”

He flips his head over to you. He hides his smile beneath his hands, but his eyes are still on you.

“You can say it, no worries.”

“...I feel terrible right now. I don't want to, but I feel like I'm about to— I don't know, break into a million pieces? Shatter all over the floor? I don't... I don't feel good.”

He stops smiling. He lets his hands down.

“...Do you want a hug?” He offers.

“I need one.” You say, and he hugs you.

Silence. But it's just a little less lonely.

“You can keep talking about it.”

“...They're gone, just like that. So easily. All because of me.”

“I still doubt it.”

“But everything hurts right now, and I can't blame anybody but me.”

Silence. Occasionally broken up by sobbing.

“You're my reason to stay.”

You sob even more. His shoulder is soaked with your tears.

“What if I become your reason to leave, too?”

“You won't. Not ever.”

“How do you know?” You retort.

“I just know.”

He pats and occasionally rubs your back. Your sobs soften little by little. It's quieter, the silence still remains.

“Can you promise me something?”

“I'm never leaving you.”

Pause.

“You knew what I wanted to ask.”

“I was going to promise you that anyways.”

...

“I love you.” You whisper.

“I love you, too.” He smiles.

written by @elixrr, do not repost.

➥ likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated :)

[inkoutsidethelines]

Hoo boy. Okay. This reply got my attention, and I'm going to do my best to answer each point you raise. Because I think this is an incredibly bad faith reading of the Jedi and the Star Wars movies in general.

The Jedi are Detached from reality as it is perceived by humans.

There is absolutely nothing in the movies that supports this claim. Nor is there anything in the movies that support your claim that the Jedi don't perceive time in a linear fashion. Yes, some Jedi get glimpses of the future, or the past, but that is in no way the same thing as fully experiencing time in a non linear fashion.

Genuinely, I don't know where you got this idea from. I can't think of a single moment from any of the movies that supports it. You have simply made up a headcanon about the Jedi and decided that it was true.

Anakin, a person who clearly suffers from borderline personality disorder which comes with symptoms such as fear of abandonment, an unstable view of the self, devaluing or overvaluing relationships to the point placing of one’s self-worth entirely in another person’s hands, and more, literally needs unconditional love and support.

Anakin does not clearly suffer from borderline personality disorder. The movies don't support that, and no interview I've ever seen from George Lucas supports that. This is, again, a headcanon that you made up and have decided it's true.

He was simultaneously considered the “chosen one” and considered a burden or a problem.

Exactly one Jedi made a big deal about Anakin being the Chosen One: Qui-Gon. That's it. The Jedi don't treat Anakin any different than any other member of their order. Heck, potentially being the Chosen One wasn't even enough to convince the Council to let him join the Order in the first place!

As for treating him like a problem/burden...well, no, not really. Not in the movies. They get frustrated when he disobeys orders, but that's a fair reaction. Obi-Wan corrects him when he's getting too emotional, but that's literally Obi-Wan's job as Anakin's Master. They're upset when Palpatine forces them to give Anakin a seat on the Council, but that has less to do with Anakin and more to do with not appreciating Palpatine trying to manage Jedi business.

And that’s not even touching on how in Phantom Menace he created strong bonds with both Qui-Gon and Padmé only to have both of the ripped away right after he’d left behind everything he knew and loved.

...I'm not sure what you expect the Jedi to do about that? Qui-Gon died, and Padme was a Queen who had to go back to her own planet.

And Anakin choose to leave Tatooine and his mother behind to try and become a Jedi. Shmi encouraged him to go! And certainly an argument can be made that a nine year old can't fully understand that decision, but Qui-Gon did his best to explain what that choice meant, and that a Jedi's way of life is hard.

Anakin made choices. So did Qui-Gon, and so did Padme. The Jedi can't help any of that.

He was NINE and being told that everything he ever learned was wrong and backwards and leads to being evil and that he needs to be perfect for anyone else to think he belonged because even the smallest mistake would just confirm their preconceived beliefs about him.

I'm going to need some references for this claim, because I don't remember ever being shown this in any of the movies.

The Jedi are shown to respect other cultures, but Jedi have their own culture and standards that one must live up to in order to be a Jedi. There's nothing wrong with that! The Jedi are allowed to have their own culture, and they're allowed to have standards about who can join them.

Anakin never would have become anything like Vader without Sidious leading him.

It's quite possible that this is true. Though he did murder a whole tribe of Tusken Raiders, women and children included, years before he became Vadar. That being said, no amount of lies and manipulation from Sidious excuses the choice Anakin made to betray the Jedi and murder younglings.

That was a choice that Anakin made. Sidious didn't force his hand. Anakin made the decision that the chance of saving Padme - from a fate he didn't know for sure she'd experience! - was worth betraying the Jedi, worth murdering younglings, worth overthrowing the Republic and turning it into an Empire.

Anakin doesn’t view Padmé as a possession, I don’t know why anyone would think that.

Well - to stick to a movie example, since you indicated you don't consider the Clone Wars show to be canon - it could be because he never bothered to consult her in his "I will murder a bunch of younglings and help Sidious start an Empire to save Padme's life" plan, to see if she was actually okay with it. And once she finds out after the fact, and she IS NOT okay with it, Anakin responds by Force choking her.

That's why I call Anakin selfish and possessive. Because ultimately, he didn't care about Padme's feelings or opinions. Even if Anakin had been right that she was definitely going to die and Sidious would save her, Padme still would not have agreed to wiping out the Jedi and destroying the Republic to save her own life. Anakin doesn't just betray the Jedi and the Republic. He betrays Padme, her beliefs and values, because he can't stand the thought of being without her.

As for the unconditional love you say he needed? Padme did love him unconditionally. She loved him after he murdered a whole tribe of Tuskan Raiders. She loved him when she knew he was lying and keeping secrets from the Jedi Order that trusted him. She loved him after he betrayed the Jedi Order and the Republic, offering to run away with him and live hiding out from the Empire with their baby. Padme loved Anakin unconditionally and it wasn't enough for him.

Because Anakin was selfish. And he wanted everything. And he couldn't have it.

"no attachments" in SW literally just means "don't be selfish and possessive". that's it. that's all there is. doesn't mean jedi can't have friends and loved ones. they can. just. don't be possessive and selfish about it. don't murder thousands of people in an effort to save one.

[captainmera]

In the modern au, what would Caleb's reaction be if Philip's father reached out to him about Philip?

He does make contact!

Caleb is polite, if anything. But mostly overly compliant.

Philip's father didn't know he had a son. And very much want him. He's not a bad person, but both he and Caleb have been given different stories about the other. (they're being manipulated by Anthony Hopkins)

Pip's father has been told that Caleb isn't a great person, but comes across as pleasant and very polite. Meanwhile, Caleb had it pointed out to him that he's in a bad seat, legally.

He's just lost his job at the Roasted Robin's, he's mentally and emotionally unwell - and untreated! Their lives are their version of normal. But Caleb is growing increasingly aware of how not-normal it is.

Legally, Philip's dad has the rights to him. He gets the final say if Caleb is somebody who should be part of Philip's life or not. Caleb knows his record looks bad. But doesn't know Hopkins has set him up to failure.

Hopkins is pretending to help Caleb, in actuality he's just pushing Caleb's circumstances closer to an edge where Caleb will feel there's no better solution than suicide. Which would, in Hopkins world, leave nobody with the knowledge of the royalties.

He's trying to manipulate Caleb the way his mother was manipulated. She gave the church access to her money so she wouldn't spend it all. He's trying to do the same to Caleb, but gaslighting him into believing he's too broken to manage this himself, and needs Hopkins' guidance. Caleb does, after all, not know his way around legal things. And has no reason to disbelieve Hopkins.

Philip, in the case of Caleb dying, would be taken to his father. Leaving the Wittebane home vacant. And Hopkins could get access to any papers that'd be there, where he can sign over rights to himself. Why give it to the church??

Philip, in the meantime, isn't clued in on what's going on.

Caleb and the father discuss how to go forward, what's best for Philip. And Caleb is saying all the right things, which makes the father uncomfortable, because he's been told that Caleb is a good manipulator and mentally/emotionally abusive. So hearing him say very loving and thoughtful suggestions on how to move forward, puts him on edge.

Hopkins is, of course, banking on that the father is an idiot and will blindly trust him. But he keeps his cards close to himself. He lets Caleb's actions speak for him, and is wondering why Hopkins said Caleb was a bad person - sure, rough around the edges, but his heart is full of warmth, especially for his little brother.

Caleb's suggestion is that they move slowly. First, let him tell Philip he *has* a father that didn't know he existed, and now that he knows, wants to be part of his life.

Caleb is acutely aware that, in the end, he has no rights to Pip.

If his father wants it, social workers will get involved and they'll dig up everything that's wrong. If it gets to court, it'll traumatise Philip (mostly Caleb though) and in Caleb's world - he'll definitely lose Philip forever.

So, he's agreeing. And being friendly. And suggests that Philip and his dad hang out, maybe go on father-son dates, maybe start sleeping over on the weekends.. Y'know. Ease him into it.

Philip doesn't like this.

not. one. bit.

To him, it looks like Caleb doesn't want him anymore.

"Why don't you fight for me then?! If you want me, then take it to court!" "With what money?! Look at me, Philip! No authority would let me keep you, and honestly? Maybe they're right! Maybe I shouldn't!" "Caleb-" "No, Philip! Enough..! You know I love you, but maybe I'm.. not good for you? You know? He's not a bad man, for crying out loud, he's a dork! He has a what's cookin' good'lookin apron! I don't have that! I have... Powder-mix flapjacks!" "But I like that, it's home to me.." "Then.. I'll pack some down for you. And it'll help you make a home there too." "...." "..Pip, I don't stop being your home, just because you get a second one." "I don't need a dad. I never needed one, not a mum either. I just needed you, you've always been good enough." "you only think that because you don't know what- Philip, come back. We aren't done talking- okay."

That sorta thing! :D

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Bowser's UFO

Debut: Super Mario Galaxy

Remember Bowser's UFO? I rarely do! He has all these grand vehicles that tend to appear, do something, and then slink away forever. Remember his submarine? We all know his submarine. We get to go on it once! And then never again. Weird! Good thing his Cool Car ended up being marketable, or he would need to keep making even more!

At least, I assume the UFO is Bowser's. He uses it, and he SUMMONS it, with his Electricity Hands. Everyone loves Bowser Magic! He can discharge lighting just like King Dedede in Kirby's Pinball Land! The thing this moment confirms is that the UFO is not PILOTED by Bowser... Maybe it's a goon. Hired goon.

There could be ANYONE in that UFO! There could be anyTHING! A species the likes of which we've never seen! And an individual character, or characters, of this species. It wouldn't just be any old Alien letting some guy use its ship for evil. Perhaps even Tatanga...?

To save ourselves from disappointment, we can also choose to believe that it is simply piloted by some random Koopa. Perhaps a UFO Control Panel Bro, who throws UFO control panels and then uses them. You must admit, that would be a convenient fellow to have if you need a UFO! Just maybe have him throw it onto a mattress first to avoid damage.

I've been focusing on what could be inside of the UFO, but it's what's on the outside that counts: its three boobs. It seems it's Super Mario Galaxy tradition to have massive machines with three boobs! This is why we don't have Super Mario Galaxy 3. That's the Number of the Boob. If they can't make the perfect metal boobs for the occasion, they will make none at all, and that's fair.

I'm not even saying this to be cheeky! These just look so much like boobs! It's not like Megahammer where they're POSITIONED like boobs, but in this case the details are all there. And what does it lactate? Laser beams! Forget unsweetened vanilla oat milk, this is my new milk substitute of choice!

The UFO uses its nefarious nipples to kickstart the big conflict, allowing Peach's entire castle to be ripped out of the ground and taken away... and then it does nothing. We get to see it briefly while flying toward the final level, and it's just there. No last ditch attack, no climactic battle against it, no venturing within it. Whoever's piloting this vessel was paid for one particular job, and they did it, and now they're getting out of here! Good on them, really. Bad on them for doing some big evil ultimately leading to the destruction of the universe, but you have to respect the independent contractor grind!

[starstrucklucky]

The post text in case the link ever breaks.

The great Stop Fucking Him post

Mar. 4th, 2005 at 9:30 AM

Demure or something

This post won't be for everyone. If you're uncomfortable with hearty leftist political opinions, you might want to skip it. I've gone ahead and lj-cut it out of consideration for (a). people who'd rather pass on it and (b). people who are at work, and might prefer to skip repeated derivations of the word "fuck" in bold face type. That having been said, feel free to keep reading or move right along. I promise not to take it personally.

Edit: Yes, yes yes -- feel free to link

this wherever you like. I don't mind.

This is not about abortion.

If you read the article in its entirety, I think that much is obvious -- this is not about abortion. If this were about abortion -- specifically, about fewer abortions being performed -- then those interested in reducing that number would hop all over this bill. So I'll say it again, this is not about abortion.

This is about women having sex, and who gets to be in charge of that sex.

Well, really -- that's what it all comes down to, isn't it? At present, there is a movement in place to make sure that (to lift a phrase from Dan Savage) men have orgasms, and women have babies.

There are people in this world who very firmly believe that this is the natural order of things: men have orgasms, and women have babies. This is a sacred balance, whereby a man is made happy for two minutes and a woman spends the next nine months serving as host to a life-threatening parasite, then the next eighteen years held legally, morally, and fiscally responsible for the health and well-being of that parasite ... while the man is free to wander off or stick around at his leisure.

This is a balance that many, many people -- many of them in positions of power -- are willing to go to great lengths to enforce. Never mind that many (but not all) of these people are men, and are therefore unlikely to be held accountable for any parasite more complex than a tapeworm ... for some strange reason or reasons, these people want to make sure that it is very, very difficult for your average American woman to manage her reproductive system.

Most of the people who object to the wide, easy availability of birth control are men. These men have the luxury of assuming this position because they have no reason to believe that they, personally, have anything at stake. I find this baffling.

The solution is so obvious that it can be boiled down to three words: stop fucking them.

That's right. Stop fucking them.

If your man doesn't understand that if he's entitled to an orgasm, you're entitled to an unoccupied uterus -- stop fucking him. If he can't get it through his thick skull that his fleeting pleasure poses a mortal threat to you -- stop fucking him. No handjobs, no blowjobs, no orgasms for him whatsoever except by his own hand, until you can be completely assured of a baby-free future, at your discretion.

These men do not deserve access to your pants. Stop fucking them.

I don't know what you think you owe them, and I don't care how badly they whine or beg. I don't care if they're wonderful boyfriends otherwise. I don't care if you're married to them. Stop fucking them. It is still your body. It is still your call. Clearly, they do not understand this. So stop fucking them.

They will not die if you do not fuck them. Stop fucking them.

Remember: You can hold out longer than they can. I promise. Your sex toys are better,* your self-control is superior, and your stakes are higher. Stop fucking them. You deserve better. You deserve someone who is aware that your body is your domain, and who respects that. If he doesn't respect that, stop fucking him.

Just stop. Stop it. You deserve better, and he deserves a cold shower if he thinks he is entitled to control over your vagina and how you manage its daily operation. Stop fucking him if he thinks that someone other than you should determine what hangs around inside you. Stop fucking him, because he would sooner masturbate with a corkscrew than let you dictate how he receives his prostate exams.

Stop fucking him if he refers to birth control as your problem, then helps vote in legislation that makes it your really big fucking problem. Stop fucking him if he thinks that your inability to prevent conception should in no way prevent him from having sex with you.

It's not that complicated.

Stop fucking him.

Stop it. Seriously.

Christ.

* And illegal in some states. Coincidence? I think not.

Attn: conservative men

[darkshrimpemotions]

I'm gonna end up doing one of these posts for every character at this rate, but I'm baffled at the number of people clutching their pearls about Laszlo forbidding Nadja from working and making that period comment this season as if this man was some paragon of feminism prior to season 6. He very much was not. He loves his wife, and we love him for that, but a feminist the man is not. He's a wealthy white man from the 1700s and his flaws reflect that! This isn't new to season 6.

Laszlo frequently underestimates and straight up ignores how competent Nadja is compared to him. He claims not to need her help escaping from Animal Control, even when he's trapped in a cage and she's actively saving his ass. He's also shown to be very paternalistic and protective toward her when it comes to Gregor.

Nadja doesn't need him to protect her or rescue her, but he needs to feel like he does those things, and she allows it because she thinks it's sweet (and perhaps appreciates having someone want to take care of her, given how little of that she got as a human).

He also does that thing where he's trying to shield her with his hand, which she finds stupid and annoying. He outright mocks her intelligence and lack of education compared to him due to her belief in ghosts (prompting one of my favorite lines from her, "okay, Dr. Arsehole"). He can't admit she was right when they disagree, even when she's proven right. He doesn't listen to her about the stupid fucking hat even when it's obvious she's correct.

In The Portrait, as @weakformemo pointed out to me, he outright says in his letter that he thought for centuries that she couldn't take care of herself. The woman who turned him, who has at least two centuries on him, and he doesn't think she can take care of herself. And in spite of supposedly thinking she now can, he abandons her and sends Guillermo to protect her against his will. He unilaterally makes that decision without talking to her, which is a pretty shitty thing to do and extremely disrespectful and paternalistic, again.

And it's not just Nadja's intelligence he insults. He's frequently dismissive of Nandor as well.

Their conversation in 6x05 was actually a big step forward because all of this was true! Nadja got to finally express her frustrations with how overprotective and dismissive he is, and he got to express that he knows she can take care of herself and absolutely respects her, but wants so badly to be her hero because she's so amazing.

All of this to say, Laszlo is kind of a sexist, pompous asshole and has been that way from the beginning. Generally speaking, he talks and acts as if he is the smartest, most well-read, and most educated person in the room. But this is a running gag, and the punchline of that gag is that he's almost always wrong.

He's also an incredibly loyal friend who's willing to go out of his way and out on a limb for the people he loves, and he loves his wife more than anything or anyone. He also kills and eats people pretty much daily, and has hypnotized his supposed best friend's brains to mush (which he does feel bad about). He contains multitudes, just like every other character on the show. They all kind of suck, and they're all extremely endearing, and none of this is brand-new information in season 6.

[twilightkitkat]

Time travel GO!

OK let's go.

Like you said, it's a really interesting theory that Worst Wolverine is from the Origins Universe. It matches up with his story considering he seemed confused by Wade's existence, meaning that Deadpool likely wasn't an active vigilante in his universe. This would be plausible if Wade had been essentially "killed" (stripped of his free will) during the Weapon X program. Also, Logan in Origins was a little different than how he acted in the OG X-men films and his personality aligns a bit more with Worst Wolverine. Origin's plotline would account for him being extra cagey and distrustful of the world and the X-men, because his own brother and teammates turned against him in the past.

Logan always struggled with memory problems. Except in his world since he never joined the X-men, he never really fully "remembered" his past. He eventually discovered what Stryker did to him, but not the extent of his involvement in the Weapon X program. It bothered him, but eventually, he tried to move on.

Except he and Wade are up against a villain from another universe. With TVA's ability to time and dimension travel. Right as they're about to finish him off, he hits an emergency button on a device he has and sends them back in time.

Except he latched onto the point where Logan's memory was the weakest and sent him there in hopes that he'd fuck up the timeline enough to never come to Wade's Universe. So that he wouldn't fight them.

So Wade and Logan get sent back in time. Except that Wade remembers and Logan... doesn't. His memories were already spotty at best and were sealed behind a barrier.

The Origins Weapon X program was a little different from the one Wade remembered, but it was so nauseatingly familiar. When he sees Logan with his brother Victor, he damn near starts ugly sobbing. Except for the fact that Logan is ignoring him. He isn't looking at him or talking to him and he's acting like he doesn't remember anything.

It's only when he raises an unamused eyebrow and asks, "The fuck do you need, Wilson?" that Wade realizes how deep in shit he is. Time travel is hard enough, but without Logan's cooperation? In a time before Wade even had his fucking mutant abilities? No thanks...

Wade tries to get closer to Logan. To prod him to remember. Occasionally, Logan looks a little moved by his words, only to get a piercing headache and forget about it. He thinks Wade's schizophrenic and delusional and Wade can't do shit to change it.

So he switches gears. The best thing he could do right now is try to get buddy-buddy with past Wolvie, right? He starts following him on missions, separating him from Victor, and talking Logan's ear off. Logan is annoyed but it's also nice to be around someone who has a shred of empathy for civilians. Who isn't a bloodthirsty psychopath. So he reluctantly lets him in.

So they become close friends. Wade obviously feels more than that, but what can he do? This was a time when being gay was like a death sentence, and Logan was almost 200 years old. He'd had it ingrained into his head and it took years in modern society to undo that shit.

Logan starts feeling a little hot and bothered around Wade, but doesn't know why. The guy pisses him off but this isn't just that? He kind of wants to yank him closer and just... hold him there. But that can't be right. Firstly, Wade is a man. Secondly, Logan isn't Like That. He's a killing machine, an animal. He doesn't deserve nice things.

But Logan starts to have second thoughts. He starts to doubt what he's doing is right. And this time, with someone other than Victor around, he can share his frustrations. Occasionally he gets drunk enough let himself be vulnerable around Wade (only Wade). He tells him how he hates killing, how he just wants to live a peaceful life, how he can't keep doing this anymore. Wade listens to him and comforts him. Tells him he knows. (Holds him quietly when Logan finally lets himself cry. Logan might not say anything the next day, but he stays so close to Wade that their shoulders are brushing and that's all Wade needs to know he appreciates it.)

And so this continues until Logan decides to quit the Weapon X project. And Wade doesn't exactly know what overcame him in that moment, but he followed Logan. He knows he should let the plot run its course but he couldn't. Not when Logan was disappearing from sight and all Wade could remember was a much older Logan from the future about to walk away until he called out for him.

Logan turns around, angry and cautious and fucking terrified because he's leaving behind the only life he'd ever known. And there was Wade, who'd been there for him through all this shit, grinning awkwardly and holding out his dog tags.

"Twinsies?" Wade chuckles as he places them into Logan's hand. Logan can't decide whether to strangle or hug him, so he settles on a combination.

He punches Wade in the shoulder and mutters, "Asshole," and then wraps him in the most bone-crushingly tight hug he can manage. He clings to Wade like a lifeline, like he can't believe he's real, and it's only then that Wade notices he's shaking.

And... oh.

The realization hits him that it wasn't easy for Logan at all. To leave behind his brother who he'd been with his whole life, the only person who couldn't die like him and understood his instincts. To see Victor become someone unrecognizable, tainted by greed and bloodlust. To leave behind the only semblance of familiarity he knew because the guilt was eating him alive.

Wade can't just abandon him. Can't leave him alone to suffer and become the hardened shell of a man he should have become. He isn't thinking about the future ramifications when he takes Logan by the shoulders, grins, and says he knows a way out. Later that night, he manages to borrow a boat from a coastal settlement in exchange for a warning about Stryker. Logan looks dazed next to him as he easily manages to secure an escape route.

(How long would it have taken him before? When he didn't have a translator? How much did he suffer originally?)

And so they run away together. To Canada, where Wade knew Logan would choose to settle. And Wade meets the woman who would have been Logan's wife, in the original timeline. She's sweet and cute and reminds him of Vanessa in a way that makes him viciously homesick. He can see why Logan liked her.

But they don't end up together. Logan is oddly on guard around her, frowning as she chats happily with Wade. Wade might be a little wary because he knows she's a spy, but Logan should have no reason to be so cagey. When she turns to Logan to flirt, he shuts her down immediately and harshly. He storms off and drags Wade with him. (If Wade didn't know better, it almost looked like he was jealous.)

Later that night, Wade brings her up again. Says that she's pretty and seems interested in Logan. It pains him a little, but it's how the timeline is supposed to go. Logan sneers in response before schooling his face into an expression of indifference and asks him what he thinks of her.

Wade... doesn't know what came over him, suddenly, but he feels a sudden urge to be honest. Maybe it's homesickness or just being sick of bottling up his emotions, but he tells Logan that she reminds him of Vanessa.

Logan's eyes are piercing when he asks who she is. Wade says that she was someone he loved, once. That he thought he'd be together with her forever. That he planned to get married and start a family with her. It tumbles out suddenly, like it was stuck in his throat and he had to throw it up or it'd choke him.

Logan tenses beside him. He stares at his hands blankly, and asks quietly, "Do you miss her?"

Wade hears it for the question it is: "Do you regret being with me?"

So Wade drops against Logan's shoulder and grabs his hand and answers honestly, "I loved her, once. But I'm here now. This is my life." The you're my life goes unspoken.

But Logan hears it anyway, and suddenly he's surging to meet Wade's lips, desperately and hungrily. He's pushing him down and looking at him frantically like he can't quite understand his own feelings but he can't stop them either. And then Wade reaches up, cradles his cheek, and kisses him back. Logan melts into him and clings to Wade so tightly he leaves bruises.

Things are different, after that. Wade and Logan unofficially become a couple, away from the public eye. They live a simple but happy life. Logan and Wade both work at the construction company, with Logan as the lumberjack and Wade as one of the builders. It's not the best money he's made, but it'll do.

Except for the fact that Wade is aware their time together has a limit. And he's even more aware that if he goes down the same road as he did originally, he'll die. Narratively speaking, he replaced Logan's wife as the "leverage to use against him." He knew that meant that Victor would come for his ass first. And Wade unfortunately doesn't have his healing factor yet, which makes him even more vulnerable. He may be stronger and more skilled than Kayla Silverfox, but he can't win against an infinite regen hack.

So he starts planning. He gets in touch with some of the black market channels he knew existed at the time. He gets into some shady mercenary work, just like his past life. It's a lot easier when he knows the ropes. He saves up money and hoards it under the floorboards, alongside a special gun he'd managed to get. One with adamantium bullets.

Here's the thing: Wade loves Logan. He does. He had no intention of "fooling" him with their time together. But here's another thing: Wade isn't stupid. He can't live in the delusion that he'll somehow be safe just because he isn't Kayla. He knows how the story goes. And he knows that if he tries to explain to Logan, he'll forget it immediately. He can't work to create a plan with Logan when the universe seems dead set on keeping him in the dark.

But Wade has hope. Maybe he'll be able to escape with Logan, as soon as Victor's time to shine comes close. And soon it does. He's been keeping tabs on his ex-teammates religiously, so when he hears about the first death he knows what to do.

He brings it up to Logan, prepared to flee with him, to fight together to break apart Stryker's plans, and Logan... looks at him blankly. Like he doesn't understand. So Wade tries again, more frantically, and Logan's brain refuses to let him register it. He asks why he's upset, what Wade wants for dinner, and Wade...

Wade collapses to the ground, shaking. The universe wouldn't fucking let him. It was like an immune system fighting against the intruder in the timeline to cut off the infection. It'd let him stay by Logan's side, for now, and change little things... but it refused to let him change the key events. The anchor points tying the universe together.

Wade goes through the motions numbly, after that. Logan can clearly see something's wrong, and tries cornering him a few times, but Wade brushes it off. He can't deal with that again.

Logan's mind is clearly being fucked with. His memories were sealed from the beginning, and his mind seemed to reject any notion of familiarity. Maybe it was the villain's fault, instead of the universe's. In which case, what could be his end goal? This would just cause things to turn out like they did originally, which would be bad for him. (Unless he had a moment he'd step in. A single moment to intercept. Like them meeting in the bar.)

Then, on the night before Victor arrives, Wade puts his plan into action. He grabs the gun and the money stuffs it into his backpack before he leaves for work. He kisses Logan goodbye at their parting point and walks off with a grim look on his face.

The air has a chill to it that can't just be explained away by the cold. The forest seems distorted. Wade can just feel that it's getting close. He hides the bag in a place only he would know to check that wouldn't be suspicious if Logan caught his scent.

Then he "leisurely" strolls out into the woods, whistling with his hands in his pockets without a care in the world. (He's very tense, actually.)

It's then that Victor pounces. Pinning him to the ground, grinning viciously. "Wilson," he punctuates with his claws pushing closer to his throat, "what a pleasure to know that my brother keeps you as company."

But just as Wade predicted, he doesn't kill him. He cuts him, letting enough of his blood spill to be assumed dead, and then hauls him over his shoulder when he's assured Wade can't move. Fucking figures, they needed an experimental subject anyway.

He wakes up later, in a daze, to being chained down on a table in the lab. Wow, so original. Never been done before. He'd wondered how exactly his role as "Logan's wife" and "Deadpool" would meet, but this was roughly what he'd expected. His genes were the next best thing to Logan's, a way to test out the product with room for failure before the next big thing.

(He wondered how Logan felt when he assumed him dead. Did he storm up to Victor, like last time? Was he more or less mad? Did he cry? Victor wasn't here, had that happened yet or not?)

Wade was no stranger to the fucked-up-experimental-torture routine, so when Stryker entered, he didn't act surprised at all.

"Damn, that's crazy," he said blankly. "So you were secretly running a mutant weapon experimentation program this whole time? Weapon X was so cleverly named after the X gene? What a plot twist."

Stryker looks... shocked at his nonchalance. He gets pissed, too, but it's the anxiety as he asks how the fuck Wade figured that out that clues him in. So people other than Logan can still hear him loud and clear... interesting. He can still influence the world.

He riles Stryker up a bit more, pushes all the right buttons (imagines him as Francis, speaking in the exact same way) and he gets what he wants. Stryker snarls at him, tells him he'll show him how to behave, and decides to torture him.

Now's his chance. "Hate to inform you but I already got a free trial of the kitty cat claws. The only way you'd manage to shut me up would be to strangle me," Wade snorts.

And bingo. Stryker mutters that he'll suffocate him just enough to be painful, putting on gloves and eyeing him with a sadistic viciousness only rivaled in Francis himself.

Wade ignores the instinctive panic at the thought of suffocation and focuses on the bright side. Under the same circumstances, he should trigger his mutation early, right?

[yanderefarm]

Currently caught up on your posts and saw what 🪐 anon said so to make this better lets break some more yanderes!!

We already got some Nephy content so let's step it up a notch..

How about making some of the yanderes totally codependent on us in order to even live?? Like we go really extreme and remove one of their limbs sort of things because if they're willing to do anything to keep us then we should return the favor to them

I have an issue...

-🐝

cw;; cannibalism, gore, amputation, violence, abuse, ableism (kind of?? this isn't meant to be realistic depictions to begin with so take it with a grain of salt), amputation kink, dehumanization, dumbification, pet play, dead dove don't eat

ohhhh the amputation ask was about us doing it. still. its an amputation kind of night so we're doing it.

i can only see this with a few of them so im just gonna write about them. tbh i could probably also do something with ajax but i don't know what.

silvan;; he can't hurt himself anymore if he doesn't have arms. after being particularly bad and hurting himself enough to leave an ugly scar you decided to go through the process of having his limbs removed. it's usually reserved for cruel pet owners but in your case it's necessary for his own well being. well removing his legs wasn't necessary but you thought it would be better that way. he's completely dependent on you, he has no choice but to spend his days being carried by you or his maid because you refuse to give him any mobility aids. the only time he gets a taste of freedom again is during parties where you outfit him in beautiful but barely functional porcelain prosthetics. he can't move his hands and he can just barely walk so he still has to rely on you.

imagine him cutely waking you up by crawling over top of you. you open your eyes and look up to see his cheeks red and tears in his eyes. poor thing needs you to carry him to the bathroom, you give him a little kiss before you put him on the bed. you watch him squirm and try to sit up before you finally pick him up like a child. his tears soak your nightshirt as you carry him to the bathroom. he's so pathetic.

achilles;; the ultimate punishment. one of your regulars in your streams and as a customer asked you one night how much for a leg, normal question for you. except he meant achilles leg. and he was willing to pay millions for it. achilles and you spend a long time talking it over. it's not that you don't love the idea of taking away his life and making him solely dependent on you but you're worried about him waking up one day hating you for doing this to him. he assures you that's impossible and even if he did wake up one day hating you he would want you to break him back into place. he asserts over and over that his life, his body, his mind are all yours to break as you will. so he loses a leg. and then an arm. and soon enough your cute toy is just a sweet little thing that needs you for everything.

imagine him crawling as best he can over to you whining the whole way. you take pity on him and pick him up, sitting him in your lap while you play games. everyone in the stream says hi to him so excited to see him and his face that was once the picture of stoicism lights up with glee. he waves a nubby arm at them and almost falls off your lap. you give him a gentle kiss as you fix him between your legs. you have to remind him again to use his words and he struggles to think like he has every day since he became a happy little toy. "fhank you!!" so cute.

noemie;; he's premium meat and you've always found it a waste not to eat him no matter how much you like him. so when he gets on your last nerve you decide you've had enough. he screams and cries like a proper pig but you can tell even through his tears he's so happy. you only take his limbs and let him keep the rest because that's how much you like him. he is so grateful when he watches you eating one of his legs and you're kind enough to feed him some as well!! and now, you take your four legged piggy and you put him in your bedroom, metal on his nubs, hook in his nose, a little fake pig tail in his ass. he's a reward for you after a long day of work. sometimes you take him out and carry him around for some fresh air and to see everything you've been working on.

imagine opening the door to your bedroom to see your little piggy sitting in his bed on the floor looking excited to see you and immediately oinking. you pick him up and carefully remove his nose hook before you start to head to the bath. you're covered in blood and grime from work and he smells sweaty. he'll cuddle against your chest while he talks about what he thought about all day and how much he missed you. in the bath he'll splash and blow bubbles and be all excited you have to take him out and wrap him tightly in his towel so you can actually clean yourself. but he'll never stop talking and praising and smiling at you.