#they're no longer JUST in the friend space
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Has time always moved this fast? I'm genuinely asking. In 200 years we went from Bridgerton to AI. The everyday lives of people in each of these eras feel like universes apart. I'm no historian, but it seems like the everyday lives of people between 1500 and 1700 weren't that different.
Have humans throughout time immemorial reflected on life 30 years ago, 100 years ago and commented on how vastly different it was? It feels like we're running at a breakneck pace in the modern era. The It Gets Better project was founded in 2010 because gay people were so universally ostracized that lgbt teen suicide rates were off the charts. And while we're still pretty far from full LGBT equality, openly having a problem with gay people existing is a pretty fringe opinion now that's fairly universally frowned upon, even in the southern US.
I'm pretty sure the first time a woman wore pants in congress was in the 90s.
Culturally, technologically, resource-wise, it feels like every 5 years we leap 5 decades forward. Is it just our own preoccupation with the era we live in that makes this moment feel so significant? Or are we actually moving as quickly as it feels?
I know people have always laughed at the grandpa's who complain "when I was your age...", but has the gap ever been this wide? Or is there truly something special about now.
#before someone @s me about *but some people still disapprove of gay people existing!!!*#i know. I'm from the south.#but even southerners know it's no longer something they're allowed to talk openly abt because doing so will make people think they're crazy#they may privately have a problem with gay ppl existing and say so amongst friends family and church#but nowadays it's the kid who's weirdly hung up on jimmy having a boyfriend who's uncool and strange. no one else has a problem with jimmy#even the radical conservatives are aware they ostracise themselves by throwing a fit abt gay people existing#that's why they're so fucking mad. that's why they're fighting so fucking hard. their opinions haven't changed#and 15 years ago they were on the side of the majority and now their opinions make them weirdos#they're evil but i kinda get why they feel like it's everyone else going crazy around them and not their own opinions that are the problem#again. there may yet be some spaces and schools in the US where it's still weird to be gay. but i would say that is the outlier#anyway that's not really my point i just know this site doesn't have reading comprehension#I'm genuinely curious as to whether time always feels like this or if it's us#yes every century has wars and pandemics and dynasty changes that impact history#but it kinda feels like the experience of a pandemic in 2020 with a smartphone and doordash is pretty significantly different than#the experience of a pandemic in 1500. 1300. etc. which maybe felt a lot more similar to each other.#and not to even mention the rapid changes in fashion!!!
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i love being an age regressor ૮ᴖﻌᴖა ♡ tonight it feels very affirming and comforting. I've kind of always had to look out for myself and be my biggest supporter, and there are a lot of strange ways this feels like a second chilhood at times.
like i regress to being younger, but I'm also a girl now in a completely different place with completely different circumstances/social circles etc. yk?
but when i feel rly small and my reality feels so big, it makes me happy that older me is there for me to make the important decisions and guide us there :3 it's like i am holding my hand through this, i haven't had an adult rly look out for me like this and it's so nice to have one now!!
i don't have to be scared of big changes, I'm doing good and I'm here for me and i can take it easy. i have someone who is helping me ♡ i have someone who is keeping me safe. they work hard so i can be little ^.^ thanks big sis hehe ✌🏾
ouggghh im not little anymore but (。ノω\。) ♡ yeah. when i am little i can still like.. function as an adult n talk to ppl n stuff. but it's also like, well like i said before ig 0:
like im smaller but different‚ subtly. still me‚ but someone else since I'm like.. a teen?? that i never was. my childhood was nothing like my adulthood so this rly is a whole new thing little me has needed to learn 2 navigate emotionally/mentally.
but as i become more aware of when I'm in a little headspace and not, the difference in perception stands out to me a lot more. i can't articulate it very well... oughh. this is giving me very specific questions, but on that note — i am happy to feel so safe and looked out for when I'm little 😌💕 i used to feel scared and helpless but it's different now. we're doing this together 👩🏽🤝👩🏾 i got ya lil sis
#sometimes I'm a teen sometimes I'm like 6ish??#the latter is rare but hm ૮ – ﻌ–ა when I'm little older me is still aware and can handle talking to ppl and getting the sentiment across n#whatnot. i don't know off the top of my head how different teen me and younger me are from each other 0: or how similar we all are#but bc older me is always aware like we all have my memories and experiences yk? and my littles r just Here and they come n go randomly#i am curious about these headspaces..#oh ? i went into the younger headspace rn (❁´◡`❁) ♡ it is pretty different.#very docile (。ノω\。) not a lot of thoughts just like. vague feelings. she laid on my big plushie n got comfies and drifted away though#idk...... i like.. invited other parts of myself 2 come say hey 2 me and make their presence known#(。・ω・。)ノ so i can take better care of n be more responsible for us since it's not just me yk?#and like teen me is kinda bratty and angsty lol but also such a hoe 💀 i love her akskaka girl..#she's such a daddy's girl low-key?? I've never had a dad or wanted one before lol.. she a lil boycrazy 🙈💕#i mean.. so am i but she's taking it to new heights lol!! 😭 it's interesting what wires get crossed n new connections I'm making these days#but like. they're both p different from me at both their respective ages and just compared to when I'm not regressed.#the teen one's been harder to pin down just bc i kinda go in n out of that one a lot but it's been going on a lot longer than i realize#so like.. i just naturally made space for me to be that way without knowing?? but now when i regress I'm like hey what up ✌🏾😏#ms ma'am's here to vibe for a bit. maybe look at some cute boys‚ maybe talk some shit‚ flirt a little who knows 💀#she's kind of a hoodrat like i was ill give her that lmao 😹 she's fun#she's also a lovergirl who rly cares about our friends just like me ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ ♡ i think on a surface lvl u wouldn't know the difference#between us unless u hung out around me a lot‚ but it's cute to think about ^.^#u are hanging out with us 👩🏽🤝👩🏾💕 we r having fun and appreciate u
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tatimaxxing (something big just happened to me but i can't talk about it on this blog because ive posted face)
#my friend's in the hospital again so i spent 20 on an uber with my other friend to go see her#but by the time we got there visiting hours were over 😭#so we just had dinner at the park#and i told her about The Big Terrible Thing for the first time#straight through without embellishment! yay! i think at least#because ive retold the story in so many different ways that im not actually sure what happened anymore#she was like super chill about it though!! and was like im really impressed that you actively made an effort to not be [REDACTED]#not really what she said more like Making An Effort to No Longer [Redacted]#redacted as an action not as a noun blah blah you know#and she told me about how shes faced discrimination at our super homogeneously chinese church which i feel REALLY BAD ABOUT BUT I DON'T KNOW#HOW TO EXPRESS IT TO HER OR WHAT TO SAY ABOUT IT 😭😭😭😭 GIRL HELP#im being so useless and chinese about it 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i don't know how to talk to people about things that matter#and idk like ok v non-tatimaxxing of me to say but ive been so self centered and going Wahhh these normies will never experience my#Deep Secret Emotions unlockable only by spending too much time on tumblr as a child#on the other hand i feel like once this has gotten out of the way i don't really have an excuse for not connecting with my church friends#yknow. like i don't have to hide this from them any more#they're great people!! and they're going through so much and I need to be there for them but I couldn't even get tothe stupidhospital on tim#not cry typing just ran out of space#anyway I wish I could care more about them I wish I could make genuine connections without having to lie to feel some sort of weird#rush of power over them because I know the truth and they don't when I lie so much I don't even know what the truth is#I've been putting my face on here more lately because I want to be genuine and I want to not hide things#but idk if it'll work I think it might just make me unemployable 😭😭😭#cc diary
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#one of my longest-time friends just sent me a bunch of texts that basically said#'i need space. cant support you right now but please reach out when youre stable & moved out'#like how....how much more space do they need?? we only see each other once a month and maybe text a handful of times in between#and like i would reference our friendship anytime i'd start to spiral about how everyone leaves around the 3 yr mark#like 'no leah thats not true. you have andrew and you have X. they've both been friends with you for longer than 3 yrs'#but i guess i cant even use that benchmark anymore to ground myself#because now they've left. they're fucking gone#i dont even know how to reply to their texts i genuinely. dont know what to say#the urge to move to washington D.C. is stronger than ever. just get me the fuck out of the west coast#but if i am going to be so very honest the urge to move is one step removed from the urge to go cliff diving off a hundred foot cliff#i feel like throwing up#how do i fuck up friendships this badly how is this a repeated thing that has happened since 14?#what am i doing wrong. why cant i connect to people. why dont they want to stay connected to me. what about myself is so fucking abhorrent
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once again in my rickard and mortyanne era. if you couldn't tell
#random thoughts#guess what motherfuckers it's blue man time#you ever think about how rick probably knows bp inside and out since he stitched him back together#he has literally been inside that man biblically#from seasons 1-3 it's really easy to tell they were originally planning for rick to have been divorced rather than a widow#and if you keep in mind abc's of beth that means he left after tommy got stuck in froopyland#but before beth got put in therapy for it because you know it was her mom who put her in therapy#since rick invented froopyland just to keep his daughter occupied i think he and diane were seperated at the time#which may be why beth struggles so much with leaving jerry#because in her eyes the divorce was what caused rick to leave her life which she then resented her mother for#and she doesn't want to be the reason her kids don't see their father and resent her for it#i think diane died either before summer was born or soon after#she was alive long enough to see beth and jerry wed i think. probably played a hand in planning it#which beth also resented her for because her wedding wasn't really about her at all#i think she died when summer was too young to remember her. probably shortly after morty was born#summer has a couple memories of her but they're more impressions than anything#she babysat while beth was in school and jerry worked#and wouldn't let her hear the end of it#she faked her death btw. was swept away by a space pirate. straight out of a bodice ripper#if her and rick ever met again he would shoot her fabio straight through the head right in front of her#he'd secretly be a bad guy and morty would be like 'gee rick how'd you know schmabio was a slave trader?'#and rick'd be like 'idk morty i'm just that good' (he didn't they were just arguing and schmabio made a point and looked smug)#(shot him right in his smug face)#i think the crew needs more friends. they need more reoccuring side characters#i am of the opinion jerry should have kept his job for longer and there should have been an office spoof#none of those characters would reappear again ofc because jerry would be fired soon after but he'd mention what they're up to in a sad#'i'm stalking them on facebook to feel like i'm still at work' way#morty should have more school-centric episodes. he should have friends his own age! who rick then isolates him from. tragic.#summer has like. two friends who need more screentime.#beth should also have her own office drama but it's about how she hates it and doesn't want it to affect her worklife
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We are well beyond canary in the coalmine warning levels with the way trans people and particularly trans women are treated on this site.
Maybe you've heard the metaphor of allowing wolves and sheep to share the same space, welcoming everyone. You end up with just wolves because allowing them in that space makes it unsafe for any sheep. Or the story about how a nazi goes into a dive bar and is refused service. The bartender then explains to someone else at the bar that if you serve them once they tell their friends and before you know it you're the nazi bar they all go to and normal customers don't feel safe.
Terfs and other bigots are seeing these targeted harassment campaigns succeed against trans women and rejoicing. They see Tumblr ban them and officially stand by those decisions as endorsement for their harassment. It's a sign to bigots across the internet that Tumblr is a good place for them.
And what's more is that a lot of us probably don't realize just how much trans women contribute to Tumblr. The women banned recently were sources of site-wide memes and posts I wasn't even aware originated from them.any years old memes and references can be traced back to trans women on this site.
How many of these folks have to be removed before this is no longer a site you want to be a part of it? Sure you cultivate your own experience, but you can't follow or interact with people who aren't here. And if I wanted to interact with the nazis and terfs I'd go to reddit.
I encourage everyone to reblog this. Trans women shouldn't have to be the only ones speaking out against the bigotry they're experiencing. They shouldn't be the only ones risking their blogs being nuked by staff. We have to stand with them.
#i didnt want to make this a post about how their being oppressed impacts you too#but honestly trans women contribute way more to this site's culture than pretty much any other single group of people#taking them out#and especially the more well known ones#absolutely destroys community#i think not just the trans community here though it definitely does that#but its also tearing away at the overall site community#if tumblr doesnt get shit under control this will hurt them more in the long run than anything else#protect trans women#thats what youve gotta do staff
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every now and then I am reminded that jesus christ my attachment style is extremely disordered. I'm like if anxious attachment was being hidden by avoidant attachment. It's not even like... normal avoidant attachment? despite that being what I largely identify with. Because I talk to other people with avoidant attachment styles and I'm like ??? bruh what the fuck are you talking about 'I don't need other people' everyone needs other people.
#every weekend I talk to the same person#we do the same thing#my brain is convinced that they're mad at me#except like this is not an anxious thought#it's like my brain has the hint of the anxious thought and immediately takes on the avoidant one instead#'If someone is mad at me- then I should respect their desire for space.'#my entire friendship style can be summed up as 'I'm happy to be here when you want me- but the moment you don't-#that's okay. it'll cause me no distress for us to no longer be friends.'#if you're ever like 'man me and Kris used to talk a lot and now we don't' there is a 95% chance my brain has simply decided#that you don't want me in your life anymore and I should respect that#I see myself as this weird like.. transitional object or a source of information.#and on one hand- I do think this is ... healthier? less distressing? than anxious attachment#it would be nice if my brain didn't just fucking decide this randomly.#there is no reason for this person to be mad at me. I maybe? did something mildly annoying at most.#but nope. clearly it is not that they have been busy. it is not that they have a lot of their plate. it is not any of these things.#clearly I am just a transitional object that has been discarded again and that's okay because that's what I'm there for
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smoke me out
𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: you and eddie are friends — and really, what's a little shotgunning amongst friends? [ 7.4k ]
𝗰𝘄: friends to lovers, dubcon bc they're high, reader with a vagina & breasts, drug use (weed), smoking & shotgunning, pathetic attempts at dirty talk, unprotected sex, cream pie, and goofy eddie (always)
𝗮/𝗻: the stoner in me came out at the beginning, ngl. this is just a horny culmination of my need to shotgun with eddie and also to rub his sweaty body with my own. and yes, that one part is inspired by the gifs of the hoard scene featuring joe's tight little ass grinding away.
𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝟏𝟖+ 𝙚𝙙𝙙𝙞𝙚 𝙢𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩
It's just you and Eddie today.
You're propped up against the headboard side by side, a nest of pillows providing you both with a cushion from the uncomfortable framework behind your bed. The muted sound of James Hetfield's voice floating through your stereo speakers over a heavy clash of drums and guitar has your head bobbing in time with the beat. Eddie has long-since gone from shredding on air guitar to intently staring at the way his own ringed fingers bend toward his palm every time the pitch shifts incrementally, mentally contemplating the chord changes by ear.
Despite the windows thrown open on either side of the room, your small apartment reeks of smoke and weed. The humid Indiana summer air filtering through the curtains is not nearly strong enough to properly air out the cramped space. It's one of those wonderfully warm days — peak summertime. Not overly hot, but enough to have your skin prickling with heat beneath a tank top and cotton shorts.
Eddie is still lounging in a threadbare pair of checkered pajama pants and a cutoff tee, the top half of his hair tied back in a haphazard bun to lessen the weight of the thick curls sticking to his neck.
Eddie is prone to complaining when it's hot. Or when it's cold. And also when it's rainy. Or windy.
Point is, you're not sure why he's yet to complain about the lack of air conditioning in your apartment, but Eddie seems content as ever. It could have something to do with the little glass pipe the two of you have been passing back and forth all afternoon. The bowl on the end had been packed tight, more than enough weed to have both of you thoroughly stoned, well before it's even finished.
The ceiling fan is stirring up the faintest breeze. You've burned yourself thrice on a rogue, billowing flame while trying to light up. The circulating air keeps pushing an errant dark curl down over Eddie's face every time he dips his head to take a hit.. You've combed it back for him four times, already—God forbid he set his hair on fire. Again. You're not sure he's even noticed the way your hand lingers on that smooth strip of skin behind his ear just a little longer each time.
But you can't help it, not with the way everything's gone a little foggy at the edges. Your eyes seem to process your surroundings in near slow-motion, all while the world shines with a barely-perceptible gleam. The last twenty minutes the two of you have spent smoking have done wonders to soften the world around you. Your head is full of air in that familiarly pleasant way that leaves you feeling a bit like you might float away at any second. Like a balloon in the sky. And with the added bonus of Eddie by your side, you're entirely relaxed. Contented.
Weak beneath the lazy weight of your high pressing in on you, you suddenly flop your weight down sideways across the bed, your head landing over Eddie's thighs. You blink slow up at him, hazy gaze focusing on the underside of Eddie's face while he brings his bony knees up from the mattress to cage you a little closer to his chest. The angle would be outrageous were you looking up at anyone else, you're sure, but Eddie..
He's so pretty.
All rogue-ish boy. Unkempt and wild, but still entirely beautiful.
You can't help the way your hand finds its way up, up, up. Your fingertips dancing across the barely-there five o'clock shadow on the edge of his jaw. You trace the hard line all the way from his chin to his ear, his stubble scratchy and wholly soothing when you lightly scrape your nails against the grain of it.
Eddie, on the other hand, has found himself entirely focused on the way gravity has moved your breasts in your new position below him. The awkward angle has carried them up and out, bra-less and soft and hypnotizing. They shift just a little every time your hand moves across his face. The tank top you've chosen to wear today is thin, indecently so, in his opinion. His brown eyes have been glued to the obvious outline of your nipples beneath the fabric since the moment you'd greeted him at the door, and his ogling has only gotten less subtle as his high settled in. He risks another longing glance down past your collar bones, reddened eyes dragging over the shape of your puffy nipples hidden underneath.
You're thumbing softly at the coarse hairs just under his chin when Eddie gives in to impulse and purses his lips to blow a cool breath of air over your neck and chest. You can't help but giggle as your skin reacts, goosebumps spreading down your arms, and unbeknownst to you, your nipples tightening into semi-hard peaks beneath your top.
They're not the only things that are suddenly semi-hard.
Eddie smacks his lips and swallows the drool that he's embarrassed to admit has pooled beneath his tongue. His ring-clad knuckles brush the side of your breast as he reaches to take the forgotten bowl from the blankets.
He attempts to gather himself as he takes another hit. He holds it for a count of five and then exhales a cloud of smoke whilst urging himself to imagine something utterly repulsive.. His uncle in the shower, roadkill, the way his balls itch uncomfortably after he plays a gig at The Hideout in too-tight jeans — anything that might keep him from popping an unwanted boner while you've got your pretty, unassuming head resting in his lap.
Your fingers are now trailing lightly over the light freckles dotting the bridge of Eddie's nose. His skin is a little pink from yesterday's sun, despite the number of times you'd physically dragged him from Steve's pool to apply sunscreen to his steadily-reddening cheeks. The previous day outside has Eddie's barely-there freckles appearing far more visible than usual, speckled along the round tip of his nose, his cheeks, even the crinkles around his eyes. You think they make him look even more handsome, boyish perhaps, but handsome all the same.
Through the warm fog in your brain, you find yourself smiling up at him. A dopey grin on your face as you poke at the soft apples of his cheeks — Like he's your own personal plaything. Your heart ticks excitedly when the corner of Eddie's lips quirk up at you in response, his pupils blown wide, surrounded by a thin ring of molten chocolate. His teeth flash with his sweet little chuckle of amusement, cheeks dimpling beneath the sparsest area of his stubble.
“You've got freckles,” You comment quietly. “They're cute.” You smack your lips once, mouth dry with dehydration, “I like 'em.. 'nd your stubble, too. Feels nice.”
“Thanks, sweetheart,” Eddie chuckles, stoned and more than a bit flattered under the weight of your attention. His chest puffs up a little proudly, his words flowing without any real thought behind them, “Made it all myself.. 'S hard work.. But, uh, y'know. Someone's gotta do it.”
He slips his lighter between two of his fingers and holds the bowl off to the side so that he can drag the fingers of his free hand softly, delicately, over your hair where it's fanned out over his lap. He doesn't want to mess it up, especially doesn't want one of his rings to get caught and pull. But it looks so soft, and through the haze, he can't fight the impulse to simply.. touch. So gently.
His attention seems intently focused on the careful motions of his fingers along your hair, and you take advantage of his distraction by finally allowing your gaze to drop to his mouth. Eddie keeps slowly rolling and biting his lips between his teeth. Canines dig into the flesh before he's scrunching his nose and pursing his lips, only to scrape his teeth over them again in a never-ending loop. You doubt he's even aware he's doing it but it's beginning to make his lips swell, the skin darkening to a brighter shade of pink from the abuse.
All at once, your trance is broken when his tongue pokes out to wet his smoke-dry lips. Your mind flashes suddenly with an idea.
The absence of both the Hellfire crew and your other friends was truly a rarity. You hardly ever got to be alone with Eddie like this. You'd tried to ask him out once upon a time- No, not just once. Twice. Twice you'd asked him on a date — both of which had somehow ended in group excursions rather than romantic one-on-one time, how it had happened two separate times, you still weren't sure — and at this point you'd given up entirely. Because maybe it just wasn't meant to be. It was okay, really, you'd almost grown content in your longing.
But, the way Eddie's lips shone lightly after his tongue stroked over them.. It had your brain reeling with possibility. If you were ever going to get his mouth on yours in private, even just for a fleeting moment, it didn't seem possible that an opportunity so seamless would ever present itself again.
It was worth a shot.
“I want another hit.” You tell him, licking at your own lips as brown eyes refocus on your face.
“M'kay, well, you're prob'ly gonna need to sit up for that, sweets,” Eddie points out, entirely unaware of the way your tummy always swoops when the thoughtless pet name falls from his lips. “Unless you were really lookin' t'get a face full'a ash.. In which case, you can definitely keep layin-” A burst of air leaves his nose with a laugh of surprise, repeating his own words to himself with a sweetly boyish giggle, “Sounds like ass. Face full'a ass. Now, that I'd like-”
Normally you'd join in on the joke. Poke a little fun at him for saying such a thing. Freak. You'd say it fondly, with an eye roll to go with it, maybe you'd throw in a half-serious offer involving his face and your backside- But you don't say any of those things. You can't. You're in the middle making the not-so-carefully crafted scene in your head a reality — And, can't he see that? Why is he trying to distract you?
“Ash. Riiight, uh huh. Well,” You pause, feign innocence before your next words. “Maybe.. Maybe you could shotgun it to me n' that way I can stay right here?” You suggest cautiously, before adding as an afterthought, “If you want, I mean.”
Any amusement is immediately stripped from Eddie's expression. He spends a few achingly long seconds blinking down at you with heavy eyelids, gaze hooded and distant. His weed-hazy brain takes a moment to actually process your words, but then, just as suddenly as he'd zoned out, he's nodding and bringing the glass pipe back up to his lips, one hand cupped around the end to shield the flame from the path of the ceiling fan.
The lighter clicks and swishes quietly as he lights up. He lowers the bowl after a long second, ringed hand dipping beneath your head and guiding you oh-so gently to arch your neck upward, until he can lean down and press his mouth down softly against yours.
That first soft brush of his lips has your whole body thrumming. Butterflies begin a rampage in your stomach, so much so that you have to actively remind yourself to part your lips beneath his.
He presses down just a bit more, lips squishing solidly to your own parted ones and sending your heart racing dangerously, but then he's exhaling the smoke into your waiting mouth. You breathe it in as it comes, letting the warmth of it flow from his body and into your own.
He watches you intently as he moves to pull back and sit upright again. Watches the way you seal your mouth shut, lips rolling between your teeth while your lashes flutter against the apples of your cheeks. You allow the smoke to simply sit in your lungs for a long moment before relaxing your chest and exhaling through your nose, releasing the diluted cloud up into the air between you.
Eddie blinks down at you with heavy lids. There's a long moment of silence between you. It's a palpable thing — not quite awkward or tense, but brimming with an unexpected energy that neither one of you can quite decipher. It's charged. Something like static electricity, or the tether between two magnets of an opposite charge. It nearly tingles in the breadth of space between you.
Eddie feels it. He wonders if you feel it too.
“D'you want another hit?” He asks after a minute, his voice scratchy.
You merely nod your head, not trusting your own voice, and the movement has you refocusing suddenly on the soft press of his calloused fingers where they linger against the nape of your neck. You watch with bated breath as Eddie brings the glass pipe in his hand back to his lips again, letting his gentle grip fall from the top of your spine for just a moment so that he can flick the flame of the lighter over the tiny pocket at the end of the pipe once again.
Eddie drops the items in his hands to your bedside table carelessly once he's gotten a good lungful of smoke. He leans down in a faster movement this time than he had done before, his hand dipping back beneath your head in a flash to bring your mouths together again.
His lips are dry against your own, but so soft. You're not sure if it's the high or simply Eddie, but the barely-there scratch of stubble over his upper lip is delicious. It feels so good it makes you a little lightheaded.
Your mouth slips open, inhaling as he exhales. You feel the warmth of the smoke entering your mouth, taste the bitterness of it on your tongue as the two of you fit together like puzzle pieces.
You're preparing to let your craned neck fall back to his lap, to close your lips in an effort to keep the smoke inside of your lungs — but then Eddie is tightening his grip on the back of your head incrementally, and instead of pulling back, he slots your lips together more firmly. Your heart skips in surprise and you can practically hear the blood pumping in your ears. Your brain seems to white out for a moment, unable to focus on anything that isn't Eddie's soft lips moving tentatively against your own.
A thin cloud of smoke escapes into the air around you as your mouths begin to move together in synchrony. You can't hold back a soft gasp of surprise when Eddie's tongue swipes warmly across the seam of your lips. Your heart pounds, your mouth opening beneath his again without hesitation.
The kiss that follows is a frenzied rush of lips and teeth and tongue. Hunger blossoms in the pit of your stomach. But it somehow manages to feel so languid, so sensual beneath the relaxed fogginess of your high.
Your back arches, shoulders lifting from Eddie's thigh to meet him more than halfway. The movement prompts his hands to find your hips and Eddie is tugging you upright in a flash. Suddenly you're wedged between his legs, practically in his lap. Your knees curling around his waist as he leans farther into your space, chasing your warmth until barely any space exists between you.
Your hands slide idly along his body in a slow trail. Each scrape against your palms feels divine. Every inch of him feels like silk under your fingers. The smooth, worn cotton of his tshirt. The tight ringlets of curls at the nape of his neck, a little damp with sweat. The soft give of warm muscle beneath your eager hands on his chest, his arms, his hips. You attempt to memorize every inch of him, your limbs seemingly moving of their own accord, touch-hungry and weightless all at once.
He's so warm and- God, you want to be inside of him. You think you might want to bury yourself beneath his skin and make a home there. He smells like heaven, like sweat and weed and masculine body wash. Your fingertips drag leisurely along the length of his inked arms, inching slow back toward his neck like you have all the time in the world to explore every inch of his body.
Your touch is scorching across his skin, overwhelming and seemingly everywhere at once but simultaneously not enough. It's like all of his wildest dreams have come to life, and Eddie can't fucking believe that this is happening. That you're practically in his lap, your tongue in his mouth, legs draped around his waist, hands tucked beneath the gaping sleeves of his muscle tee to roam freely and grope at the exposed skin of his hips.
Eddie's head cranes just a bit to the side in an attempt to deepen the kiss, licking his way deeper. His own arms curl around your waist, tightening at the curve of your spine to tug your body flush against his. The action has a needy noise pushing its way into his mouth as your tongues explore one another with warm, wet licks. He groans at a particularly slow curl of your tongue, he swears he feels it in his fucking balls.
He's so turned on he thinks his dick might explode. Eddie changes your position in another quick movement, holding you flush to his chest before he's directing you to lie back against the mattress and slotting himself right there between your thighs.
Despite the way your head has gone a little fuzzy from lack of oxygen, you can't find it in yourself to pull away from him. All you can do is slide your hands from Eddie's shoulders and up into his hair. Tingles shoot from your fingertips as they slide into his frizzy curls, yanking some of them free from his bun just to feel the way they tangle around your fingers. A hot flush of arousal pulses in your cunt at the satisfied noise that Eddie lets out when you tug lightly, and that noise alone has you suddenly frantic.
You can't get enough of him; his sounds, his taste, the press of his warm body between your thighs.
The hand he isn't using to support himself against the mattress rubs along your waist of its own accord, his fingertips slipping beneath the hem of your shirt to brush featherlight over your skin. You swear sparks erupt in his wake.
You pull back just enough to murmur his name desperately against his lips, but the syllables are barely out before you're licking into his mouth again with unbridled hunger. Eddie's groan meets your ears in response to your weak plea — what you're begging for, you're not quite sure, but then his hips drop against yours with a slow roll and that-
Oh, that is exactly what you needed.
You can't help the soft whimper that falls into his mouth. The warm line of his half-hard cock pressing against your cunt through the thin barrier of your pajama bottoms has you dizzy. Eddie grinds hips against yours in another slow roll, clothed erection pressing soft into your cunt and prompting the seam on your shorts to nudge at your clit. You both groan in sync, parted lips barely brushing through the breathless sounds.
You also can't help the way you lift your hips in time with each grind of his length against you. The warm weight of his balls squishes against the fabric of your shorts every time his pelvis drags over your own. The thin cotton feels far too thick of a barrier currently between you and his cock.
Ringed fingers sneak up a little farther beneath your shirt, his hand tightening over your naked breast, and you keen at the feeling. He alternates between brushing the calloused pad of his thumb over your nipple and covering the area with his palm to give it a soft squeeze. His lips fall slack against your own, too busy focussing on the way his fingers release and then grope again and again, the kind of distracted intrigue that could only be a result of his high.
A soft whine falls from your lips after a minute of putting up with his lazy fondling. You tug at the hair between your fingers again and nip encouragingly at his lips in a silent plea for a kiss. His mouth finally resumes moving against your own, and you gratefully allow him to direct the kiss. You give him full control of the pace, which turns out to be a give and take of desperate licks into your mouth followed by gentle caresses of his spit-slick lips against your own. Lips smack each time you part, tongues sliding together wetly, heaving breaths rush in and out of your noses as you both attempt to pull as much oxygen in as humanly possible in an effort to not break apart.
Your fingers find the knob of his spine, and you tug on the collar at the back of his shirt in silent question. Eddie answers by pushing back up on his knees to yank the fabric over his head in a quick movement. His tattooed chest heaves with slightly labored breaths and you watch him with rapt attention, your eyes drawn to the tiny patch of hair nestled between his pecs and lightly dusted around his nipples. Then your focus drops to the thicker trail that leads down into the waistband of his pants. The pale skin beneath the hair glistens with sweat, and good God you want to taste it-
But you're only granted a few seconds to ogle his torso before Eddie is dipping back down to catch your lips with his, your mouths immediately separating just enough that he can strip you of your own top.
As soon as your naked chest is exposed to him, Eddie is dragging his lips down your body in a slow trail. He pauses for a moment to kiss a spot just below your ear, his voice raspy when he speaks, “You good? This alright?” He checks quietly.
You reach up to tangle a hand in his hair again, a breathless sigh leaving your lips as you feel the warmth of his mouth pressing against your neck, “Good, yeah. Very, very alright.”
Eddie wastes no time, his lips trailing lower. He leaves a series of wet, open-mouthed kisses to your exposed breasts, relishing in the way you react to his mouth, the way your spine arches up from the mattress at the attention.
“Jesus H. Christ. 's incredible,” Eddie mumbles, his words slurred against your chest as he bites and sucks at the skin on the side of your breast. His head has gone hazy with lust, his fingers slipping beneath your body to grab a desperate fistful of your ass, “Hand to God. I swear, I've never fuckin' seen more perfect-”
You interrupt the filth spewing from his mouth with an entirely unintentional moan, slightly overwhelmed by the influx of sensations. His praise in your ears. The feeling of his fingertips sinking into the plush of your ass. The prominent bulge in his bottoms dragging against you.
Eddie curses under his breath, taking your nipple into his mouth and biting down softly before immediately soothing his tongue over it in apology.
Your brain is a little fuzzy. Sweetly faded and hazy at the edges, but somehow, each touch and sound between the two of you feels heightened — Magnified and all that more intense. As if your high has somehow managed to mute everything on earth except for Eddie.
You release his hair in favor of sliding your hands down his back to grope the globes of his ass over his pajama bottoms while his hips continue to rock forward in a dizzying rhythm. A knead to the flesh there has Eddie whining sinfully against your tongue and your pussy fucking throbs in response.
"Baby," Eddie pants into your mouth, his voice nearly cracking with need, "Take 'em off, please- Baby? c'n we-?"
He doesn't finish the question but you nod, nose brushing against his as your hands slip underneath the waistband of his pants. Your fingers are very nearly trembling while you shove the fabric down below the curve of his ass.
You feel the moment that his cock springs free and you immediately have to crane your neck down to take a peek — The urge to see him is too strong. And God is it a glorious sight.
Flushed red at the tip and achingly hard— Jesus it's thick, gloriously thick. His pubes are dark and untamed around the base, hiding just how big he truly is. It's the most gorgeous cock you've ever fucking seen and it's bumping softly against the crotch of your shorts, wetting the fabric with smeared pre-cum that Eddie's fucking leaked over the head. He's wet with need, same as you, and the thought makes you feel fucking insane.
Which means you ogle perhaps longer than you should.
A needy grumble rises in Eddie's throat that has you snapping out of it suddenly and bringing a hand up into the narrow space between your faces. It takes a moment with the dryness of smoke lingering on your tongue, but you manage to gather enough spit to lick a wet stripe up your palm and fingers, and then you're reaching down to curl your fingers around him.
Half-naked is practically Eddie's default state when he's stoned or drunk, you've drooled over just the outline of him in his underwear more times than you can count, but you're still somehow surprised by the sheer size of him in your hand. The weight of him. Long and curved just a little to the right — so silky and so soft under the slippery glide of your fist. You work your hand slow over him, rewarded with a beautiful little groan of thanks from the man above you, the sound of it guttural as you begin to jerk him with slick strokes.
“Ohhh my god, that- that's, j-jesus-” His voice fucking cracks.
Eddie's hips jump as he fucks into your fist. His eyes roll back, a little delirious just from the sight of your smaller hand wrapped around him. You switch from long strokes in favor of shorter ones where you can focus your attention on his tip, your thumb swiping back and forth over the head of his cock with each flick of your wrist. Eddie doesn't even recognize the sounds leaving his mouth. The combination of his high and the wet glide of your hand is too maddening to care.
You make your own small noise of amazement that has Eddie coming back to himself suddenly. He yanks your shorts down your thighs with an impatient huff, pulling away from you just long enough to discard the last of both of your clothing before he's caging you back against the mattress once again. And then his lips are making their way to your neck, kissing and sucking lightly between these oh-so pretty little groans against your throat, his hips bucking restlessly into your own all the while.
You give an eager cant of your hips, feet pressing into the mattress until the tip of Eddie's cock brushes the seam of your cunt. Eddie makes another sweet little noise of surprise that has you draping an arm around his neck, your face pressing into his shoulder as you repeat the movement with intention.
You want him so bad your pussy fucking aches.
“Ed, can we, please?” You whisper desperately into his skin.
The question is barely out before he's nodding against your throat, bracing his knees and lining himself up with your hole. His hips push forward until just the tip of his cock presses into the wet heat of your cunt, but good lord-
He's so big. It feels a bit like he's splitting you right down the middle, but it's so good. He rocks his hips forward slowly, each little push stretching you wider than you thought possible. Every time you think he can't possibly have more to give you, he slips in a little deeper. He reaches so far inside of you that your eyes roll back, a long, drawn-out moan tearing past your lips at the slow stretch, the dull fullness behind your navel that you can nearly feel in your throat.
“Oh, fuck.” You whine breathlessly, hands scrambling for purchase along his skin. Your nails bite into the sweat-slick muscles of his back before slipping lower still. You find the dimples at the base of his spine, nails raking over the pale white skin of his hips and ass. Your whole body goes lax underneath him as the wiry bush of his pubes finally meets your own.
The noise Eddie releases into the curve of your shoulder borders on a whimper, his breath hot against your skin as he rocks his hips forward again and again. His weight pushes you deeper into the mattress, his cock grinding desperately against the absolute deepest parts of you. He gasps with each nudge of your cervix against the head of his cock, practically humping you through the haze of his high as he tries to give you time to adjust to his size.
“Y'good?” Eddie pants into your neck, words slurred together with need. He feels half a second from fucking begging when your legs spread further, your thighs falling back toward the mattress and allowing him even deeper and holy fucking shit. “Ohh, c'n I move?” He’s all but whining now, “Please. God, please can I-”
“Uh huh, 'm good, 'm good, I-” Your assurances cut off with a wail when he begins to pull back and drive in again with a sharp snap of his hips. Your fingers tighten where his hairy thighs meet his ass, nails biting into taut muscle in an attempt to ground yourself. “Ohmygod.” You whine, eyes glazing over with the heat that pools behind your navel with each thrust.
“Y'feel so good.” Eddie mumbles, slack mouth pressed to the sensitive spot below your ear.
He pushes up on his elbows, but only enough that you can gape up at him with hooded eyes, brows furrowed with just how fucking good he feels.
“Fuucck, y're pretty,” Eddie groans between deep thrusts, his words drawing a moan from your lips. He brings one hand to your cheek, thumb pushing into the plush cushion of your swollen lips before he's covering them with his own in a messy kiss, “Y're so hot. So. fucking. perfect.”
His words are spoken quietly against your lips between thrusts, his nose squishing your own in close proximity, and you draw him back down to your mouth in a hungry kiss, teeth clashing.
The pace Eddie has set is intoxicating, pulling nearly all the way out before slamming his hips forward to fill you up again with deep thrusts. Your moans are loud, wanton and uncontrollable under the haze of your high, only somewhat muffled by Eddie's mouth covering yours.
In a frenzy, you find yourself kissing away the sweat beading on his upper lip. You lave your tongue softly over the light prickle of stubble at his cupid’s bow, but you're only granted a moment to relish in the scratch of it before Eddie is nosing at your cheek and urging you back into a scorching, albeit distracted, kiss. His fingers wrap around your upper thigh to hitch your leg a little higher on his hip, rocking his hips forward again and managing to hit impossibly deeper inside of you. He drives into that spongey spot behind your navel and you writhe-
“Oh-” You gasp into his mouth in surprise, head gone fuzzy as he continues fucking your at the new angle, “Eddie! I, fuck-”
He responds with a groan. His lips leave yours to forge a trail of biting kisses over your skin. He wants to kiss you everywhere. He wishes he could kiss every inch of your skin and still keep fucking you. You're weak to do anything but lie there and take it and it makes Eddie feel dizzy with power. Your arms curl around his shoulders again, head thrown back against the bed in ecstasy.
Eddie's mouth is seemingly everywhere, lips sucking at the underside of your jaw, tongue leaving a wet trail over your collarbones and throat, teeth sinking into the curve of your shoulder. Each new sensation sends another spark of arousal down your spine, sends your brain farther into the clouds.
It’s almost too much. It has you tightening your thighs around his hips and rolling sideways over the bed to switch positions, his cock slipping free as you find yourself straddling his waist with only a slight wobble from the momentum. Eddie makes a quiet noise of surprise and petulance, but it melts into a grateful, high-keening moan when you sink back down onto him. Your hips press flush to his as you set a new, slower rhythm of your own making.
“Oh, Jesus,” Eddie whines in amazement, hands tracing over the curve of your waist and breasts as you rock back and forth onto him, “Shit. You look so good like this.” His praise comes out through heaving breaths.
You rest one hand supportively over the sparse hair at the center of his chest, the fingers of your other hand trailing up the skin of his arm until you can tangle your hands together against the mattress. You grind your hips down harder, deeper, and Eddie groans, his hips bucking up unconsciously to meet you halfway.
Your forearms fall on either side of his head. Your weight pressing down against his chest has Eddie immediately fisting your ass and thighs in a bruising grip to help guide your movements. You lean down to bury your face in his neck as you slide back and forth along his length in a slow rhythm, your legs already aching with exertion even with the help of his strong arms.
The loud slapping of skin meeting skin every time the backs of your thighs meet his own rings loudly in your ears. Your staggered breathing falls against his lightly stubbled jaw, lips leaving distracted kisses in apology for the way your hot breath fans out against his already sweaty neck.
“God, Eds,” You moan into his skin, sucking a mark against his throat while he uses his tight grip on your hips to fuck you down onto himself, “You feel. So f-fucking good-”
You let out a yelp as Eddie twists your bodies again with a grunt, and suddenly his body above yours once more, his hand on your shoulder as he sinks back inside of you.
“Need it faster. Harder.” He pants, “That okay?”
You nod, head rubbing against the mattress, “Yes. Please, yeah-”
Eddie trails his fingers down the back of your thigh and guides you to wrap your legs around his waist, and then he’s fucking into you in quick, punishing thrusts. Your moans only increase in volume at the change of pace, your whole body seemingly flushed with heat. Your hands scrape desperately over Eddie's back as he pounds into you, nails cutting into pale skin.
“Shit,” Eddie groans, his forehead dropping down against yours in an unexpectedly tender movement, though it does little to take away from the sound of your bedframe creaking, the wet squelch every time he drives back into you. “God, 're you close?” He asks desperately.
“Uh-huh.” You confirm immediately, brain hazy and muscles tensing with each hard thrust that brings you closer and closer to your peak.
Eddie's nose rubs soft along your cheekbone as he nods, joining your mouths in a kiss that's more breath and tongue than anything else. You struggle to focus on moving your mouth against his as your orgasm begins to creep into the corners of your vision. Eddie's weight drops down onto one elbow to allow him the stability to reach in between you. His hand settles over your pelvis, his fingers swiping messy over your clit as his quick thrusts grow shakier.
“C'mon, sweetheart,” Eddie murmurs against your lips, “C'mon, I really-” He's cut off by the groan that rumbles up his throat when you pulse around him, the sound entirely animalistic. “Goddd. N-need you t' fuckin' cum, baby, please.”
His voice has gone husky with arousal and exertion, the sound has your eyes rolling back. It only takes a handful more thrusts like that, with the help of his fingertips tracing light circles over your clit. Your whole body tenses as your orgasm crashes over you, legs clamping around his hips. You whine brokenly in his mouth, a sharp gasp immediately following as you scrape your fingers down his shoulders, your whole body shaking as you come undone around him.
The increased tightness of your muscles spurs on Eddie’s own orgasm within a few thrusts, and then he's following you over the edge. He buries his face in the curve of your neck as he cums with a whine, hips stuttering twice before burying deep. His weight crushes you to the mattress, your back arching at the warmth of his release filling you. Your eyes water with the strength of your orgasm, Eddie's hips unconsciously grinding into your own as he rides out his own, whimpering into your ear with the aftershocks.
You both remain unmoving for a long minute, sweaty chests heaving as you struggle to catch your breath and come back to yourself. You card gently through Eddie's sweaty hair, his curls having long since broken free from the hair tie that had once held them back from his face. You fingers trail thoughtlessly through the damp tresses while Eddie's hot breath fans out over your neck. His dick twitches inside you when your fingertips scrape softly against his scalp and you struggle to bite back a quiet laugh of amusement. Your muscles tense even with the smothered laugh, and Eddie groans as your cunt pulses around him.
He huffs when he catches the look on your face, entirely dramatic as he begins to roll away, but he only maintains that feigned annoyance for about half a second before he's cackling madly and dragging you into his chest. He nips sharply at your shoulder as he tugs you into his sweaty chest and buries his face in your hair, fingers beginning to trace soft shapes over the skin of your hip.
“You feelin' okay?” He murmurs after a moment.
“Yeah,” You confirm with a sigh, already relaxing into his touch. Your brain is pleasantly dulled from the combination of the lingering high and your orgasm. “Yeah, 'm great.”
“Oh, same, yeah. Super great. I just, uh-” Eddie pauses and you find yourself focussing on the gentle caress of his fingers along your skin, “I wanted to check, y'know.. Make sure you weren't havin' any.. I dunno, just, regrets-”
You're readjusting in a flash so that you can look at him directly, your head settling onto his bicep as your eyes flick between his, “I don't. Regret it, I mean.”
It feels much too serious of a conversation to be having considering how deliriously high you currently feel, the previous strenuous activity did little to clear your head, but you mean it with every fiber of your being. You've been hung up on Eddie for what feels like forever now, the thought of him outright regretting the events of the last hour- It has you feeling sick, stomach sinking and twisting and souring all at once.
Eddie's throat bobs as he swallows, “Just, I mean.. Y're real stoned and- Shit. I, fuck. I probably shouldn't've-”
“Eddie,” You cut him off, feeling desperate with the need to reassure him, “You smoked just as much as I did—probably more. I-I wanted this. I wanted it, like, really bad. Unless..” Your heart drops, “Do.. Do you regret-?”
“No!” Eddie disagrees immediately, and vehemently — With urgency to correct you. “No. No, sweetheart, I do not regret it. Could never regret you. I mean, that was- Shit, I've been wanting to do that since-”
Your hand finds the warmth of his chest, fingers scraping at the small tattoo there, “You have?”
Eddie nods his head against the blankets, sweaty curls sticking up every which way around his head like a messy halo, “Yeah.”
“Does that mean.. I mean, would you maybe wanna do it again sometime? But, like, when we're not high as all hell?”
Eddie's dimpled grin has an embarrassingly wild burst of butterflies erupting inside of you, “Yeah. Yeah, I really do.”
You lay like that for a while, pressed together despite the heat. His fingers wander over your palms, tracing the lines there while you watch the way his rings shift. Your naked bodies separated only by a thin layer of sweat. The ceiling fan pushing light waves of blessedly cool air over your skin.
After a few minutes Eddie suddenly tears himself out of your grip, and he does it so abruptly that your brain is hardly able to comprehend the loss of him. He lets out a quiet yelp of distress and nearly collapses face-first into the blankets in a mad scramble toward your legs. He manhandles you until you're sprawled on your back, pushing your thighs apart before flopping entirely ungracefully onto his belly in the narrow space he's made between them.
As you push up onto your elbows to peer down at him, Eddie is simply stroking his fingers soft up and down the length of your cum-soaked folds. His eyes are alight with wonder while he watches his own spend begin to leak out. One of his thumbs catches it as it falls, and he pulls his hand back for just a moment to get a better look at the pearlescent mixture of your combined cum.
“What're you doing?” You giggle after a long moment of simply watching him.
Eddie's head snaps up with such surprise it looks as if he might've forgotten you were even there, if such a thing were possible.
“Just, uh.. Admiring my handiwork.” He grins like he's all-too pleased with himself, dimples poking into his cheeks.
“It's our handiwork, actually,” You correct playfully, “Half of that's mine, and- No, wait. Actually, 's all mine now.” You tell him triumphantly.
His eyes narrow in confusion and you redirect your gaze pointedly. His attention follows your own, eyes flicking briefly toward his own hand, where the cum has begun to drip slow down his thumb toward the meat of his palm.
“What, this?” He questions in amusement.
“Yes that.” You tell him with a frown, “'s mine.” You have to bite back an honest-to-god cackle at the entirely contrived look of betrayal on his face. “Put it back.” You challenge.
Eddie's eyes roll in irritation as he repeats your words mockingly, his voice thrown high in an exceptionally poor imitation of your own, but he does dutifully drop his hand down between your thighs again to attempt to push the cum back inside you.
He looks pleased as punch once he's done. He looks at your cunt with a dopey grin on his face, cheeks still pink with exertion and hair wild.
“Don't miss me too much, pretty. A'right? I'll be seein' you again real soon.” Eddie murmurs softly, eyes never once leaving your cunt. He punctates his words by pressing a gentle kiss to your mound, just a hair's breadth from your clit.
And then that dumb, dazed smile takes over his face again.
You squint down at him, “Was.. Were you talking to me or my-”
“Was talkin' to this pretty pussy.” Eddie says matter of factly, stroking his hand over the coarse hairs between your thighs in the way one might pet an animal.
“Okay.” You manage, laughter preventing you from saying anything else.
Eddie tugs a large chunk of loose curls across his face and lays his cheek to your upper thigh. He stays like that for a moment, hidden behind the curtain of his hair, big brown eyes blown about as wide as he can manage through his high.
“..Do you still wanna fuck me?”
He pouts. It's ridiculous. It's adorable.
You can't pretend to mull it over for more than a few seconds, your cheeks ache with the need to smile. He makes you so happy you feel borderline deranged.
Your lips quirk up even as you sigh dramatically, “Regrettably? Yes.”
He fucking cheers.
He drums his hands enthusiastically against your thighs and yells so loud in victory that all you can do is laugh and cover your ears until he's finished.
You don't regret it, not a goddamn bit.
#eddie munson x reader smut#eddie munson x fem!reader smut#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson fic#stranger things fic#stranger things smut#*
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... on a more light-hearted note, imagine a phineas and ferb scenario except neglected! reader is the gifted child that is overlooked by platonic! batfamily, building all sorts of insane contraptions mysteriously disappear for unknown reasons and damian is the only one in the family seeing this shit happen, slowly losing his mind trying to bust his sibling to bruce or his siblings (etc.) only to find that giant robot/waterpark/space rollecoaster is no longer there. once again he looks like a resentful brother trying to incriminate his only blood sibling, whom he seems to have a vendetta against.
i mean, can you blame them? you're just sorta there. just doing your own thing, going to school, hanging out with friends, keeping to yourself. it's embarrassing to admit, but they often forget you live at the manor. you're one of the teenagers to exist. so when damian comes running to dick, saying "look! look! i finally busted them. the cameras caught-" only for the magically corrupted footage to show him 3 minutes of you hanging out under a tree, cut, hanging out under a tree again, let's say dick is... confused.
or when he removed jason from a mission, guiding him at full speed back to the manor, where you were home alone and working on a weather-changing machine because you wanted to have winter snow during summer, except they arrive to find you eating cereal on the kitchen counter. no machine to be seen.
eventually they just dismiss it as damian being petty and acting his age for once. it's the whole being bruce wayne's only blood child and heir to the wayne legacy that you kinda got in the middle of by existing and stuff, they're sure. i mean, you? doing all that? the very idea is so absurd it doesn't even trigger their suspicions. you're the civilian among civilians, every time they look your way you're doing homework or watching funny orange cat compilation videos on youtube.
whether damian's failures to expose you are absurdly coincidental or you just know how to avoid the batfamily's watchful eye is up for debate. well, it's for the best, either way. there’s a 104 days of summer vacation and you're basking in being left alone by the family, and bruce would be livid if he found out about the things you've been doing behind his back, so...
just... hope they don't find out, okay?
#i KNOW it's unrealistic considering it's batman & co we're talking about.#but consider. for the hilarity of it all.#the reader in this scenario is either oblivious + insanely luck or manipulative + insanely lucky#also hello?? i am struggling with my drafts but the vampire reader x batfam fic is coming along#point if you can guess which clan she'll belong to. it'll be pretty of obvious in chapter 1#yandere batman#yandere batfamily#yandere batfam#yandere batfamily x reader#yandere batfam x reader#yandere bruce wayne#yandere#Yandere x reader
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KINKTOBER WEEK 4 | ROOM 373- C.S
summary: when not enough rooms were booked ends up leaves y/n and chris sharing a room on their vacation
cw: cursing, brothers best friend trope, SMUT; wet dream, making out, handjob, cum eating
masterlist | kinktober | join my taglist
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"this is nice as hell." matt says when they arrived at the hotel they'd be staying at. it was summer now, and both the triplets family and y/n's family always went on a summer vacation together ever since they could remember. "alright, let's get checked in." y/n's mom says. they all walk through the revolving doors and see the tropical vibe that is inside.
"cant wait to take the fattest nap of my life." y/n groans, leaning her head on nicks shoulder. "i agree." nick nods, looking down at her and giggling as she looked really tired. stands of hair had fallen out of her braid, and her lipliner and lipgloss had worn off ages ago.
chris looked over at her and met her gaze for a few seconds before looking away. although they had all been friends for many many years, chris was always her brothers best friend. if chris wasn't with his brothers, he was with him.
the kids, stood in line by their parents as they got handed their key. this year, the parents had splurged a bit and had gotten everyone their own individual room. as y/n got her key, she bolted to the elevators to go to her room to shower and nap. when she entered her room, she opened up her suitcase on the other side of the bed on the floor. she grabbed her toiletries and picked out a sleeping outfit which was just an oversized tee and sleeping shorts.
grabbing her towel, she headed off into the bathroom.
chris was the last one to get his key since his room had a bit of complications since the hotel was fully booked. after he got his key, he took his time into finding his room. when he spotted 373, he tapped the key card and entered the space, closing the door behind him. he dropped his suitcase off by the door and flopped on the bed, closing his eyes.
not even a minute later, he heard some movement in the bathroom. chris got startled and immediately sat up. what the hell. he thought. was he in the wrong room? was someone in the wrong room? the bathroom door opened and y/n came out with wet hair wearing an oversized tee. "chris? what are you doing in here?" she raised an eyebrow, patting her wet hair with her towel. "this is my room, what are you doing here?" chris was relieved that it was y/n and not some stranger.
he caught himself looking at her exposed legs and quickly looked back at her eyes. "what? no it's not." she said, hanging her towel up in the closet space. y/n grabbed her key card off of the night stand and held her hand out. "let me see yours." chris pulled his key card out of his pocket. she sat next to him, too close, and he could smell the sweetness of her shampoo. as he admired her side profile, she spoke up. "they're the same. do you think it was a mistake?" she looked at him.
"i dunno'. don't think so, i took longer because the hotel was fully booked." he shrugged. "i- i mean we could share a room, i won't mind. it's only a week." she said. chris nodded. "i don't mind either."
"well, i'm going to take a nap. please don't be too loud."
two hours later, y/n woke up from her nap and switched on her other side to be met with chris laying on his phone. "hey there, sleepyhead." chris noticed that she was awake. "what time is it?" she asked, yawning. "seven twenty two." he looked at the corner of his phone. she tosses the blanket off of her and sits up, her hair still lightly damped.
chris watched her as she sat up, and putting her slippers on as she made her way to the bathroom. as she entered the bathroom, his eyes wandered down south, seeing the bottom of her shorts ride up. stop it! he thought and shook his head, looking away. chris went back to using his phone trying to the get imagine of the silver if skin that he had seen out of his mind. she was his best friends little sister after all.
a couple of minutes later, she walked out looking more awake. she made her way to her suitcase and threw on a hoodie. "i'm going to the food court, wanna come?" she untucked her hair from the inside of her hoodie. "sure, why not." chris shrugged, putting his phone away and grabbing a key card from the nightstand.
the two of them walked next to eachother down the hall making their way to the elevator. y/n's stomach growled since she was starving. she was thankful that the resort had a food court. when they arrived at the small court, they looked at their options. "what did you want to get?" he looked at her, admiring her facial features. "uhm, probably a burger and some fries, you?" he nodded. "i'll get the same."
they both walked to the burger station and got their food. the food was brought back up to their room. her and chris sat on the bed eating their food as they watched a horror movie on the television. "why the hell would he go out there knowing the killer is there, my fucking god." she said, pointing at the screen. chris laughed, ever since they were kids she'd always made little commentary during movies stating her opinion. that was one of the many things he liked about her.
after the movie had ended, the food long gone. it was nearing ten pm and chris was starting to get sleepy. "i'm going to start getting ready for bed." he said, getting up off of the bed and heading to his suitcase. chris grabbed his toiletries and a change of clothes along with his towel to shower. "alright." she said, scrolling on her phone. y/n on the other hand, was wide awake. the nap she had taken and the food she had eaten, she wasn't going to sleep anytime soon.
soon, chris got out of the shower, his hair wet and he was shirtless. she stared for a couple of seconds before going back to scrolling through her phone. "is it okay if i turn the lights off?" chris hung his towel next to hers. "go ahead." she nodded, laying on her side away from chris. the lights turned off and shortly after she felt the bed dip two feet away from her. "g'night." he yawned. "night, chris." she turned her phone brightness and volume down so he can sleep.
it was now a bit past midnight and she was watching a show on her phone with low volume. chris was still fast asleep and shifted a few times in his sleep, mumbling incoherent words. she giggled ever time it happened because whenever they would have sleepover as kids, he'd always deny that he talked in his sleep.
as she continued watching the movie, she felt chris scoot closer to her and drape his arm over her waist. the sudden movement startled her as is was unexpected. however, she thought nothing of it, he was always a cuddly sleeper.
chris kept mumbling and moving here and there. until, she started to feel something poke her lower back. was he having a wet dream? she paused her movie, maybe she was wrong? chris rocked his hips and bit and whined. shit. she was right.
deep in his sleep, the tension in his pants woke him up. and he found himself cuddled y/n from behind and gently rocking his hips against her. "oh my god, i'm so sorry!" he quickly took his hand off and sat up. she followed, turned the lamp on. "it's okay, chris." she said. "i'm so so sorry, y/n. fuck!" he cursed at himself.
"chris, i said it's okay." she climbed on his lap. he was surprised at what she was doing. hell, even she was surprised at herself. "w- what are you doing?" his hands came up to rest on her hips and she settled herself on his lap. "can i help you? is that okay?." she held his face in her hands, caressing his cheek. "yes, fuck, please do." he nodded, answering her questions.
she brought their lips together in a kiss. chris moaned into the kiss. he had been wanting to do this forever. her arms wrapped around his neck and his hands rubbed against her sides, groaning when she pushed her core against his hard on. y/n pulled away, holding his chin. chris tried to connect his lips back with hers but she pulled away slightly and smirked.
she swore she heard him whine. "let me help you." she let go of his chin, her hand traveling down his chest to the waistband of his sweats. he nodded, giving her permission to pull him out. "words, chris." she looked into his eyes. "yes, yes, please." she giggled at his eagerness. "i'll take good care of you, promise." she leaned down to press a kiss on his neck before she climbed off of his lap and sat on her knees near his thighs.
he pulled his sweats and underwear down a bit and his cock sprung up. "look at you, so hard." she cooed, gently taking him into her hand. he hissed. "fuck." he threw his head back. "so sensitive, i've barely touched you." her hand squeezed him a bit. he groaned. y/n smirked, bringing her thumb up to his slit that's leaking with pre-come.
her hand began to move up and down his length at a faster pace. she was awed at the sight of him. his jaw was slacked, and his head was thrown back against the headboard. "doin' so good f'me, babe." her lips came up to his exposed neck. the pet name only made him harder.
"i want you to come in my hand, alright? want every. single. drop. on my hand. we don't wanna waste a drop, now do we?" she bites the skin on his neck, not hard enough to leave a mark. how would they explain it to everyone tomorrow morning?
"so- so close. don't stop." he gasped, feeling his orgasm build up. she let go of him for a bit and he whined. "baby, wha- why'd you stop?" he says out of breath, lifting his head off of the headboard. she smirked, scooting to sit on his thighs. "patience, chris."
chris looked down at her shirt covered chest and saw her nipples poking her thin shirt. "want me to take it off?" y/n noticed his gaze on her nipples. he nodded. "yes, can- can i?" the ache of his cock very much still there. "go ahead." she smiled, moving a piece of his hair that fell on his forehead.
his hands came to the bottom of her shirt and lifted it over her head. chris' eyes locked onto her exposed chest. he brought his hands up to her tits and gently squeezed them. as he caressed them, her hands were now back on his cock. "yes, fuck, yes!" he groaned. "you like that, yeah? like my hand on your hard cock." she looked into his eyes.
"kiss me, please." he said, bringing his hands from her tits to her neck. she didn't stop the movement of her hands as he pulled her into a kiss. the room was filled with the smacking sound of their lips and her hand on moving up and down his cock.
"so close, shit!" he mumbled into the kiss. "come for me, chris." her hand sped up. "fuck, fuck, fuck!" he chanted, feeling the familiar build up. he couldn't keep up with kissing her, his head falling back against the headboard again. "i'm- shit! i'm cumming! fuck, baby!" his jaw went slack at the intensity of his orgasm.
spurts of his white come dripped down her hand and painted her sternum and his lower belly. "shit-" he twitched as he became sensitive in her hands.
"did so good for me, baby. so good." she smiled, bringing her cum covered finger up to her mouth.
"you even taste good."
#chris sturniolo x reader#chris x y/n#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo x you#chris x you#chris x reader#chris smut#chris sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#matt x reader#christopher sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#matt x y/n#matt sturniolo blurb#matthew sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo headcanon#matthew sturniolo x you#matthew sturniolo fanfic#matthew sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo blurb#chris sturniolo headcanon#kinktober
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I will NEVER not want Danny to have Multicultural Zone Vibez.
Like? To just... just HAVE shit you CAN NOT GET in "this" Reality.
Is it a tee-shirt? The podcast he's listening too? Those snacks? Maybe it's the tea! He has a distinct accent. No one can place it. He talks about hitting up The Market. Is suuuuper vague about WHICH market, but it sounds awesome. He apparently gets like? ALL his shit from there.
Amazing deals on everything.
You've been over to his place. The linens look like something out of a fantasy novel. HAND MADE sorta shit. Like? It must have taken, what, months? Years? To make that? He got it "cheap", supposedly, because the shop owner is no longer in their "space phase".
None of his plates match. Some look futuristic, some are hand made, a few look CARVED. Is this bone?
"Don't worry about it."
You recognize maybe a third of the movies he owns, AT BEST. But you could have SWORN like three of them weren't out yet. And details are off in two others.
The dude is weird. His PLACE is weird. His FOOD is all knock off brands you've never heard off. They've gotta be. There's fruits you can't recognize in the fridge and he uses a vegetable you've never seen before in the stir fry. Tastes pretty good. Kinda garlicky. But, like?
You've NEVER seen him use any of them local grocery stores. You're half convinced, that even with a gun to his head? He would be able to tell you WHERE THEY ARE.
Dude.
And, yeah, it's a major city. A DC city of your choice. His weirdness lvl is so low, if constant, that it barely registers. Frankly? Everyone just thinks "ah, yes, an immigrant from... somewhere. Don't be a dick about it, me." And moves on. Gives it no further thought. But?
Eventually he's gonna make friends~
They ARE gonna want to know more about him.
And they're gonna realize he's WEIRD AF. Give them the LORE, Danny. It's driving them crazy!!
@hdgnj @babbling-babull @hypewinter @lolottes @mutable-manifestation
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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
#actuallynpd#signal boost#actuallyautistic#mental health awareness#narcissistic personality disorder#people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias#(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar#mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo#anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that#he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful#misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included#several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and#he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he#was glad he did#fun times#or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to#support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma#bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me#trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times
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Mc/Yuu that when given genuine affection from their friends such as a small gift or just being told that they enjoy being around them, they just get really quiet and look at their friend with shock and disbelief, tearing up a little bit and just going "...oh..." in a real small voice.
Bonus points if they're not usually emotional like this.
It would be fun if it was the overblot gang since they just got some gifts themselves, or maybe ADeuce duo...idk man, I just want some wholesome friendship, I feel like there aren't enough fics like that in this fandom-
WARNINGS: Can be read as platonic or romantic, some of these might be longer/shorter than others, all of them care about you but (almost) all of them are bad with Emotions. also there are slight references to book 6 in Idia’s section if you squint
COMMENTS: AWH this is such a cute idea! And yes, there should definitely be more wholesome, platonic fics! Also, sorry these are short D:
Wait, crap, you’re tearing up? He just got you a present- are you okay?? He’s low key worried about you, unsure if this is just you being extremely excited about his (amazing) gift or if there’s something else going on. Either way, he’s quick to figure it out and reassure you as best he can. He’s torn between feeling bad about making you cry and being happy you liked his present so much. Either way, he pulls you into a hug and rubs patterns into your back until you feel better.
You’re crying?! Ohhhh crap oh crap oh crap- he doesn’t know what to do! Was his present that bad-? Once you reassure him and tell him you love it, he relaxes a little bit but is still clearly distressed. He isn’t very good at figuring out why you’re reacting this way, but his genuine care for you shines through and helps you feel a little more comfortable in his own way.
Wh-what?? Did he do something wrong-? He did a bunch of research, so he had assumed that this gift would be something you’d appreciate, not tear up over! Riddle is. Confused. And scared. He’s new to this whole “having friends” thing, and he thinks very highly of you, so the thought of messing up is pretty scary. He’s at quite a loss of what to do. When you reassure him and tell him you’re okay, he’s very relieved. He makes a note of how much you appreciated the gift and is determined to do more for you. If he has to get used to having friends, he wants you to get used to receiving the affection you deserve, too.
Awh, come on. You’re seriously tearing up over this? He ruffles your hair affectionately, giving you space to process your emotions while staying nearby. He doesn’t quite get what all the fuss is about - all he knows is he got you something and then you “exploded into tears” (you did not, he’s exaggerating). He sits with you until you feel better and tries to think of ways he could give you stuff without you “freaking out” like this. Maybe some money left in your pockets would be a good idea…
As soon as you tear up, he wants to go hide in his octo-pot. He knew it, it was a stupid idea. He should’ve gone with the other present idea, maybe then you’d be less disappointed. If you even still want to be friends with him after this. The moment you explain that you’re really happy, however, his mood does a complete 180, attempting to both comfort you and gloat a little at the same time. He would pat you a little awkwardly on the shoulder, wanting to express he appreciated your vulnerability. He’s definitely making notes on things he could spoil you with.
He freezes. Dang, he thought it was something you’d like. If not, that’s okay, he did keep the receipt. You can take it back to the store and get a refund if you’d- oh? You liked it? He’s another one that would try to comfort you and feel smug at the same time. The thought of making anyone but particularly you so happy is a little jarring to him, and your way of expressing emotions is definitely unexpected, but he’s glad he got you this. Maybe he’ll get you something better next time.
For once, Vil is speechless. For a moment he just kinda stands there in surprise, before sweeping you into his arms for a hug - completely ignoring how his clothes might crinkle. He didn’t think you would react that way, and - although he’s pretty sure you’re happy - he wants to comfort you anyway. Once you confirm you’re actually happy, he thinks your reaction is sweet and endearing and pure. He’s definitely buying you more things if this is your reaction to it,
The moment you say “oh” and start to tear up he’s internally going say sike rn. Bro was not prepared for Emotions. He can hardly handle his own feelings, why’d fate dump him with someone else’s?! Especially since they belong to someone he cares about. He’s not real good with other people, let alone taking care of them. He wishes Ortho was here - he could google Top 10 Ways To Comfort A Friend Who Randomly Starts Crying. Idia kinda just ends up patting your entire head awkwardly and saying “there there” through his tablet. He knows it’s pathetic, okay?
He’s utterly confused. He followed the Human Customs of buying a gift for someone you care about, why are you displaying a negative reaction? Was the gift not satisfactory? Lilia said this would be enough, although perhaps he should’ve gone with his original plan and bought you significantly more. Were you perhaps disappointed? Once you reassure him, he almost laughs. He thinks your reaction was very cute, he will be buying you significantly more things. Prepare yourself.
♥Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it!!♥
#twisted wonderland#twst x reader#twst#twst fanfic#twisted wonderland x reader#twst fluff#ace trappola#ace trappola x reader#deuce spade#deuce spade x reader#riddle Rosehearts#riddle rosehearts x reader#leona kingscholar#leona kingscholar x reader#azul ashengrotto#azul ashengrotto x reader#jamil viper#jamil viper x reader#vil schoenheit#vil schoenheit x reader#idia shroud#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia#malleus draconia x reader#Rhea’s TWST Fics~!
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vent in the tags :3
#i really just want to make a friend#i've got a couple but it feels like they're going to leave me#i've made lists before of people in my life who've left me#and some of them have gotten even longer than the page#i just want someone to stay#i think i'm causing my own demise since i dont really know how to act with friends#and i always end up falling for them or they end up leaving#i've got issues with thinking i'm smarter than people/better than them and i'm working on fixing those#i'm 99% sure i'm autistic but it could just be my skewed social skills from a lot of my friends leaving ;-;#the friends who have stayed... i feel like i cant talk to any of them#like we've come to a standstill and i'm just. there. in their life#taking up space#not to mention my family is moving soon#and there's been a shit ton of chaos happening at home#i think i'm annoying everyone with my stupid hyperfixations#i'm so scared my family is going to be the only people who ever love me and nobody will ever accept or want to be around me#and i feel like i cant even express that i'm sad because im in therapy already but im stuck#like im in a well worn track and i cant get myself out of it#im not gonna kms or anything#i love the earth too much to hurt her like that
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You wrote this about Simon: “At this lieutenant, already chewed up and spit out by the world. More scars than skin at this point. You wonder how many people only see the scars and not the shivering body underneath it, waiting for a soft touch.”
I’d LOVE to read more of this - i wanna be the one to offer him the soft touch he wants so badly, maaaan! He’s just so big n’ strong but i want to let him curl up against me while i pet him until he stops shivering
This came through at the perfect time. I had the desire to write but I was picking at all my wips half heartedly bc none of the them were what I wanted.
But this? This I wanted.
So thank you again and please enjoy 1.5k words of acclimatizing Simon to soft touches.
<33
Ask referencing this post.
~~~~
He scared you, the first time you saw him.
Not because of how big he was (tall, thick, muscular) or the look in his eyes (cold, dismissive, too watchful), not even because of the scars themselves (numerous, expansive, tragic).
It was because you knew any interaction would come across as a threat. He had that look in his eyes that said he'd seen the worst of what the world had to offer and he persisted through luck and spite equally. Now he was sat in front of you, too disciplined to let his skin shiver but hating being seen. Hating that you were looking.
When you met him it was through a friend of a friend sort of thing. One of your friends was seeing a Scottish boy and invited you out for drinks with them. You had no reason to say no so you found yourself sitting at a high-top doing your best not to bother the man sitting quietly to your right.
His gruff, Simon, during introductions was the only thing he had said in the last hour, content to sit quietly and watch. Almost outside of the group even though he was sitting at the same table. You made sure to include him when you were speaking to the group, your eyes darting to each person as you spoke, not leaving anyone out. But you made sure to never direct a hard question at him that required an answer. It was all, I bet you never have a problem seeing over the crowd. or I'll grab everyone a drink while I'm up or Sorry, I'll be out of your space in a moment, my jacket was getting a little warm.
He would look at you. Every time you spoke to him he wouldn't shy away from eye contact but that was where his involvement ended. Never a head nod or shake, never a verbal answer.
By the end of the night you were positive he didn't like you. He didn't dis-like you but he didn't like you, you were pretty sure. That was okay though. You'd done your best not to infringe on his space, not wanting to step on his toes. You thought you had done a good job all around and put it out of your mind, the interaction over and done with and no longer needing to be reviewed.
What you never realized was Simon's shoulders lowered a whole inch throughout the course of the night.
\\\
You called your friend out on the number of times she invited you to hang out with Johnny and Simon, flat out asking if she and Johnny were trying to set you and Simon up through subtle double-dating.
"No!" She leaned forward grabbing your hand, her eyes looking earnestly into yours, "I promise it's not like that. Johnny told me he's pretty much all Simon has. Well, their team is. So they're always together when they're home. I don't want Simon to feel like a third wheel or left out or anything."
And you believed her. This was one of her strong suits, always looking out for others. That's probably why you two got along so well, a pair of givers, the both of you. And she had a point. The idea of Simon sitting awkwardly with the other two as his only companions made something twist in your stomach. You didn't want that for him.
So you kept seeing Simon and you kept doing your best to give him space but include him at the same time. You were shocked the first day he spoke to you but the fact that it was a bad joke made a sort of perfect sense.
"What's the best way to carve wood?"
You looked over at him in shock that this was what he chose to break the ice with. At the same time you were delighted and you couldn't help but feel giddy at the prospect of Simon telling you a joke. A bad one by the sound of it.
"How?"
"Whittle by whittle."
"That was absolutely terrible."
He smiled to himself if his eye crinkles had anything to say about it. That giddy feeling bubbling up inside you was getting unsettlingly big right about now. You looked at the ground and bit your lip to keep from a cheesy grin of your own breaking out.
Before you knew it he had no problem speaking to you. While never particularly verbose, he would respond to comments directed towards him, offer his opinion if options were offered, and kept telling awful jokes.
You were hopelessly charmed.
You broke your own rules and reached for him first.
You were sat next to him on a bench, the sun setting and the evening air cooling further. He had told you another one of his god-awful jokes when you unthinkingly swatted out with your hand, brushing his arm. His muscles jumped and his arm tensed right before you made contact as if bracing for a hit. An involuntary reaction to someone reaching for him. It was a horrifying realization.
You sobered quickly and your chuckle died off awkwardly. You turned to face forward, looking out at the street, watching for any sign of your friend or Johnny who had stepped into the store for a quick moment leaving you and Simon to find a bench while you waited. You hoped that if you didn't draw attention to it then your faux pas would pass unmentioned.
You let out a relieved sigh when Simon continued with another comment, not taking your overstepping to heart. By the time the other two had rejoined you the whole situation was forgotten, water under the bridge. You didn't think of it again until it was the end of the night with everyone about to go their separate ways.
When you said goodbye to Simon he said it back, reaching out to brush his hand down your arm in return in almost the exact same spot as where you'd touched him earlier.
Your heart skipped a beat before picking up a double pace. You couldn't help but beam at him, a wide grin splitting your face even as he grunted and turned away, likely embarrassed by your show of emotion.
Today had been a good day after all.
You thought you had ruined it for a moment there, thankful when Simon seemed to brush past it. You hadn't expected him to reciprocate in the same manner though.
Maybe he really did like hanging out with you. You never doubted it for a second.
\\\
It took time–a slow steady build to where you ended up, curled up on the couch together with Simon laying on top of you. You both had your tops off to bask in a little skin-to-skin time.
You'd been together for a few months at this point and it was like night and day to compare him to the Simon you met all that time ago. This one couldn't keep his hands off you to save his life. It was a slow warm-up to get past his walls in a way that wasn't upsetting to either of you. Soft touches that slowly built, leading to hand holding, to hugging, to kissing, to this.
You dragged your fingers slowly up his back, fingertips catching on raised scar tissue before continuing on, ever moving. He hummed into the crook of your neck where he had buried his face when you switched from fingertips to nails, gently scratching the skin.
You loved spending time like this, feeling Simon melt into you, eager for every touch he could get. If you were sitting still and Simon was in the vicinity you could bet that he would be pressed against your side before too much time had passed. Eager for the soft caresses you always had for him.
He was starved for touch and you wanted to feed him.
So you offered, again and again in the beginning–most times with no luck, to let him touch you. On the couch watching TV? Your arms would open, inviting a hug when he walked by. At the table? Your head was tilting up for a kiss if he wanted one. Passing each other in the hallway? You'd raise your hand and hold it in front of you, letting him press his big barrel chest into your palm if he wanted.
It was a slow acclimatization that brought you to today and the taste was all the sweeter for the time you had poured into it.
You lifted a hand to drag it through the spiky hairs at the back of his head, enjoying his groan of contentment. It sounded like he was already halfway asleep and you knew you wouldn't be leaving this spot for a while.
Might as well settle in and get comfortable. You familiarized him to gentle touches, now he was insatiable for them. He would be consuming them from you greedily for as long as you offered.
#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x you#i enjoyed writing this#asks#thank you nonnie for sending in this ask! i appreciate it more than you know#touch starved!simon riley#slow acclimatization#as it should be
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humans are space orcs
imagine someone with chronic joint pain, whose dream their whole lives has been to go to space and meet the aliens and be a scientist and learn
so they look up the requirements as a kid and go "fuck."
they wouldn't make the cut.
their dreams are dashed. hopes ruined. lifelong dre destroyed.
except....
they've never really said a whole lot about their pain. they don't particularly like doctors, and they think that they've been managing just fine, so they never saw the point.
so maybe... maybe if they just don't say anything, they can make it to space.
they spend all of their time training. doing physical therapy exercises so that their joints aren't so loose, soaking up as much scientific and mathematical knowledge as they can, teaching themselves to push through the worst of it in pursuit of their dream.
and they make it.
they make it to space! it was gruelling, tortuous work, but they made it!
their first mission is an exploratory one, with a diverse crew which only has one other human.
they're thrilled.
they have dozens of alien friends and acquaintances. they spend hours learning and researching alien planets and cultures. it's everything they've ever wanted!
but
it's exhausting.
they're in more pain than they've ever been, more frequently than they ever have.
they keep up their exercises as best they can, but even those are often too much.
they smile when asked if they're alright, tell everyone that "i'm fine! just tired."
but they need a break. they can't imagine going or being sent back to earth, this is their home now, with these people, on this ship. but they don't know how much longer they can take this.
one day, on their day off, a fellow researcher comes and knocks on their door.
"are you here?"
"not today islith."
"but we've been called! there are some exciting new discoveries that need further cataloging and investigation, and carlmoth thought you would enjoy the task!"
"i can't today, islith."
"are you ill?"
"...kind of? but i'll be right as rain tomorrow. it's my day off anyhow."
"nonsense! you should go down to medbay!"
"i'm alright, i promise."
"you get out here right this minute or i'll report you to medbay myself!"
"no!" there's a series of crashes and thumps, and then they open the door.
"oh, you look awful. come on, you really must need medbay, what if you're contagious." islith tries to grab them but they shy away.
"i'm not contagious, i promise."
"how can you possibly know that? what if you picked it up from a sample, or, or, garfon has been sick recently! humans can't survive cerian sicknesses-"
"i didn't catch something from garfon, islith," they sigh and open the door wider. "come in and let me explain."
"alright, but if i think you should go to medbay afterwards then i'm taking you there."
"sure, islith."
islith enters, notices the piles of clothes, rumpled bedsheets, the lights are off and the port window shut.
"what's wrong?"
they sigh again, "my body doesn't work like it's meant to, islith."
islith is wildly alarmed, "and you said there was no need for medbay?!? come with me right now and-"
"no! i can't, islith, you don't understand."
"then explain it to me."
"i've... always been this way, although it's gotten worse as i've gotten older. my body, it just isn't built quite right, there's something wrong with it that makes it not work properly and hurt often."
"you're right, i don't understand. why can't you go to medbay?"
"i'd... be thrown off the ship."
"what?!?"
and so they tell islith a story about a young child whose dream was to touch the stars.
"and now, it's too late. i'd get in huge trouble for lying to the government, especially for so long."
"well- but- but humans are so resilient! you hear all the stories!"
"not every human is the same, islith. some of us are born disabled, and some of us get hurt in accidents, just like any other species."
"well, then, well there must be something we can do?"
they look up in shock, "we?"
"of course we, you ridiculous creature," islith said with a fond sigh. "you didn't think i'd leave you to suffer, would you?"
"but, you could get in so much trouble!"
"that's alright, i don't mind. what else are friends for? and, anyway, we don't have to tell your government, we can tell mine."
"but i'll-"
"we don't have any rules like that. any of us who are disabled can still manage in space just fine with the right support, and i bet you could too."
"i- islith- i don't-"
"don't worry, we'll all back you when it comes down to it. you're out teammate, our family. no one on this ship wants to watch you leave because of something you can't control. now come on, let's talk to glidlep in medical, she'll understand."
and for years, things continued on that way, until eventually it was an open secret that the human with the exosuit was disabled and not technically allowed onboard.
and down the line, when nasa found out and was furious, the entire ship and more stood by their side.
#anyway i need to go cry now#humans are space orcs#humans are weird#humans are deathworlders#disabled#disability#disability in space#chronic pain#chronic illness#chronically ill#joint pain
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