#they're my reason for doing anything lately

[cassolotl]

Time for a late night post-migraine ramble!

I wonder about this scenario as well, and about how it *should* play out even in our current sexist society. How I unfold it in my head is like this:

If there's a cisgender woman who has trauma that means she can't undress around people who look like men, that's basically PTSD or similar, which is an anxiety disorder.

In the UK at least, we have the Equality Act 2010, which requires organisations to provide "reasonable adjustments" to people with disabilities, and disability has a specific but quite broad and inclusive definition that totally includes things like long-term mental illnesses such as anxiety disorders.

But the reasonable part of reasonable adjustments comes into play here. When I imagine a cisgender woman with an anxiety disorder attempting to use a changing room...

Let's say she's arachnophobic and there's a spider in the changing room, I'm sure it would be reasonable for a member of staff to remove the spider, because it doesn't cost anything and it's quick and easy and the spider probably shouldn't even be there anyway. But if she had a phobia about other people's nudity, the staff would probably be like, "yeah it's a communal changing room, you might well see naked people in there, there's not a lot we can do about that." Let's say she takes the leisure centre to court for being in breach of the Equality Act 2010, and the courts would deem it unreasonable for the cisgender woman to ask the leisure centre to build a whole private changing room with direct access to the pool just for her. (The court might suggest that when they remodel they consider installing private changing rooms or cubicles in addition to the communal changing rooms, but they wouldn't enforce it.) The staff could go out of their way to ask other swimmers to try to cover up more in the changing room, or to allow a solo swimming session, or to host a "very covered up changing room" session, but that would be very generous of the leisure centre and not expected.

Ultimately, the mental illness that is preventing the woman from using changing rooms would be the responsibility of the woman, not people around her. Similarly,

If a swimmer who was agoraphobic asked for a solo swimming session, they probably wouldn't get it, or they would be asked to pay a very high fee to hire the whole pool.

If a cisgender woman felt anxious in women's changing rooms because she was assaulted by a woman, she would not be able to expect the leisure centre to remove all the other women from the changing room.

If a cisgender woman felt anxious getting undressed around people who were taller than her, and while she was getting undressed someone taller walked in, she wouldn't be entitled to ask the tall person to leave.

All of the arguments that people use about trans women not being allowed in changing rooms really all end up in the same place for me.

If you feel it's undignified for you to undress around someone who looks male to you in a place that you go into voluntarily, don't do that.

If you have PTSD from a sexual assault, which would obviously negatively impact your life in a lot of ways, that's awful and you have my sympathy, and you can ask for adaptations from others and/or make uncomfortable adaptations to your life and/or seek treatment and recovery.

If you just think that people who have or used to have penises are inherently more dangerous and you don't see a problem with that, that's fine and all you can really do is avoid half the population.

If you think genitals are disgusting or offensive you have bigger problems and you should probably also avoid places where people's genitals might be incidentally visible, like changing rooms and also art galleries and such.

Obviously if someone comes into a changing room and they're doing something antisocial or harmful, yes, they should stop or leave. The staff can remove them, you can call the police... Anything that an evil trans woman might do to a cisgender woman in a women's changing room is already illegal, and would be illegal if a cisgender woman did it too. The only way keeping trans women out of women's changing rooms would be an appropriate and preventative response to this is if trans women were inherently, universally and inevitably dangerous to cisgender women, which is to say... they're robots/animals with no control over their behaviour. It is ridiculous that I feel like I should point out how absurd this is.

[The way TERFs talk about trans women, it really seems like they believe this to be the case. I would put this in the "anxiety disorder" category myself, which is not to say it's not based in reality - anxiety disorders form within societal norms and systems and life events, and you don't have to look very hard to see how often women are assaulted by men and how often the men get away with it while the victims suffer if they try to get justice. The belief is understandable, and it is also disproportionate and life-impairing. And, for example, I also think that gender-neutral changing rooms would seem a lot less scary to a lot of women if there was any confidence whatsoever that sexual assault in a changing room (by anyone of any gender) would result in arrests and punishments with minimal harm to the victim.]

I can imagine that to many people this is going to sound like victim-blaming, and I do think there should be more accommodations and more compassion for people with PTSD. For most people taking your clothes off around strangers does make you feel a lot more vulnerable, the "people of all genders use your bathroom at home and you have no problem with that" argument doesn't fly with me, and those vulnerable communal spaces should be made safer regardless of gender inclusivity/exclusivity. Toilet cubicles and changing cubicles are kind of barbaric when it's fairly easy to build them to be and feel safer! If you get a lot of reports about sexual assaults in your changing rooms, install small rooms with locks and/or hire an attendant!

But.

When a victim of sexual assault who has PTSD complains because a trans woman is in the women's changing rooms and in this case the Equality Act 2010 requires the leisure centre to make a reasonable adjustment and the leisure centre can provide an alternative changing room for someone, the staff should not ask the trans woman to use the alternative changing room. The trans woman has done nothing to warrant this. The staff should offer the alternative changing room to the person with PTSD.

If you are afraid that a total stranger in your vicinity is going to do a sex crime when you've had no interactions with them whatsoever and they haven't done anything obviously suspicious, even if it's because of a disability (e.g. mental illness following previous sex crime), that's a you problem.

the idea that restrooms, locker rooms, etc need to be single-sex spaces in order for women to be safe is patriarchy's way of signalling to men & boys that society doesn't expect them to behave themselves around women. it is directly antifeminist. it would be antifeminist even if trans people did not exist. a feminist society would demand that women should be safe in all spaces even when there are men there.

[fitzselfships]

I really think Zooble is the best thing that has ever happened to me. They genuinely make me feel loved and they've helped me cope with stuff so much better than before and idk where I'd be without them <:]

[guinevereslancelot]

starting to kind of date someone right before christmas is so stressful fr. do i get him a gift or what we've been on two dates but i'm seeing him tonight n it's christmas eve.....but what if he didn't get me anything then it will be weird.....

[smile-files]

i continue to find ii3 baffling. why did they make it (this isn't to hate on the season, i'm genuinely curious)

[l-in-the-light]

I'm just gonna leave it here lol. Come on, Zoro can be pretty dumb, that's the point of it. Always has been. You think Zoro even noticed he chomped down some razorblades? Ofc he didn't! It was just some crunchy food for him. And he's too airheaded to realize only his lunchbox had anything crunchy in it lol. There's a reason why Luffy and Zoro are besties, and that reason is: they're both kinda dumb. Personally, it only makes me like them more.

But if anyone wants to go serious route here, I think we should instead ask this question: what made Zoro this way? Is he so used to eat trash to survive that a bit of poison and inedible things don't affect him all that much anymore? When we look at Zoro's backstory we can realize that he was pretty much always alone. No family, always training. Like sure, he had the dojo, but he didn't think they're his family or at least we never see anyone treat Zoro this way or him addressing them as family. He called Kouzaburo just "some old guy". No one told him they're all probably relatives either (we know thanks to SBS that they, in fact, are somewhat related). Zoro lost his parents and was on his own ever since (his father died fighting against pirates, his mom was a bandit and died of illness). How did he find the dojo, what did he do to survive before they took him in? Let's not forget Zoro was always full of pride and very stubborn. I doubt descendants of samurais would just tell him "we need to take you in, otherwise you will starve". Maybe they told him instead that they will take him in only if he promises to train (because he has potential), so in exchange he tried to be good with swords, so he can somewhat repay them for their kindness and care. Like to show their efforts to train him didn't go to waste.

Anyway, my point is, Zoro at some point in childhood might have also learned how it's like to be starving what a coincidence, it's like with Sanji huh. Luffy also knows that feeling, when Garp left him in the jungle alone and told him he needs to survive by himself. He had to try out things to eat if he didn't want to die of hunger. We can laugh that Luffy is so stupid that he's eating any mushrooms he finds, but that's probably something he learned as a kid to do to survive. So I bet Zoro, who can eat any trash you give him, is also showing us he didn't have an easy time as a child.

Disclaimer of sorts: And before anyone protests that only Sanji is allowed to have a starvation as a theme in his backstory, otherwise it won't be unique anymore, I dunno, what about Nami (who lived in poverty and at times had to survive on tangerines alone), Usopp (what did he eat after his mom passed away? who took care of him?), Chopper (yeah, he kinda ate a devil fruit because he was hungry and somehow assumed that looks edible huh), Robin (lately it's been revealed how she had to eat from trash to survive) and outside Strawhats, what about Law? After he got out of Flevance and before he joined Donquixotes, he had to survive somehow. The only possible way he could have done that is by living on the streets and by eating trash or stealing. There's a lot of starving kids in One Piece, that theme is not exclusive to Sanji, but it also doesn't make it any less special. Sanji himself is what made it actually special; by vowing he will feed all the starving ones, no matter what troubles it will bring him, no matter if someone he feeds has bad intentions or might be a bad person. He's not letting anyone starve and nothing is ever gonna make him regret feeding people, even if they try to harm him instead of showing gratitude. That's what's truly special about Sanji's backstory, the starvation bit is just allowing him to relate to starving people more. You can say all you want about Germa, but Judge didn't starve his son, and ever since he left his family Sanji worked on the cruise ship and didn't really experience hunger either.

The Razor Blade scene: Character assassination, a joke, or something else?

I've been seeing people discuss two small scenes connected to each other post Fishman Island and in Punk Hazard, the first where the two are bickering and they say this:

And a scene in Punk Hazard where Sanji packed lunches for Luffy, Zoro, Robin, and Usopp and Zoro is making "crunching" noises in the panel, and Oda reveals in an SBS that Sanji did actually put razor blades and poison in Zoro's food:

I have seen claims of character assassination in this scene for Sanji, considering his position on food being something everyone has a right to and his refusal in Whole Cake Island to put poison in the cake they plan to give to Big Mom:

I understand that comparing the two scenes, it does look like Sanji is abandoning his ideals just to get back at Zoro in their fight. But we need to look at both what Oda is saying in the SBS and also Zoro and Sanji's relationship to understand this scene, and why I don't believe this breaks Sanji's character or his ideals.

In the SBS, Oda ends the answer with "The serious nature of their fight is what makes it interesting." Going back one panel and seeing what triggered this fight:

It was Zoro being a lil shit and calling Sanji "Nosebleed-kun." That's to say, this fight is no more serious than their usual bickering, and Oda is making fun of that. Ultimately, this scene and the lunchboxes is a running joke, so that is one thing to keep in mind is that the scene, and Sanji by extension, is not serious about this fight. Of course, jokes are not immune to committing mischaracterization, so we have to look at their relationship too to make sense of it fully.

So why did Sanji actually put poison and razor blades in Zoro's food if he believes that poison shouldn't be used in food? I think at the end of the day, we have to remember that Sanji would never hurt anyone through food, especially the ones he cares about. And he does care about Zoro, it is shown time and time again that they watch out for and care for each other, from Long Ring Long Land, to Thriller Bark and Saoboady, and in Wano. My point is that Sanji knows that Zoro is a freak of nature and wouldn't actually be hurt by the razor blades or the poison, and that he would finish the food.

Zoro actually eats the damn food and literally says nothing about it, Oda didn't even think people would catch this it was such a small detail, but it's one I really like. One because, honestly, it is a funny joke to me, but also it shows a level of trust and understanding of each other? Sanji knows that Zoro is such a brute that he can just fucking. Chomp on metal (which. you know he does on the regular anyways LMAO) and have a little bit of poison go through him and he's literally fine. This is no worse to me than Sanji kicking him. And Zoro just accepting what he's been given, literally no complaints, and he finishes the food and doesn't waste it, because he DOES respect what Sanji does for him and the crew on a daily basis.

Ultimately, the difference in this scene and in Whole Cake Island is that Sanji KNOWS that he isn't actually gonna hurt Zoro by pulling this on him, hes looking to call Zoro on his taunt and be an annoying brat back to him. Bege is seriously asking him to kill Big Mom through the food that he makes, something that's on a completely different level then him pulling a prank on Zoro. The razor blade joke no different in this scene as well in Wano:

I don't think this is out of character for Sanji, it is their usual pettiness on full display, but also serves as a nice small detail into how they understand and trust each other.

[fiendishartist2]

im a little embarrassed to post this one but i spent so much time on it so here

[medicinemane]

Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy

You have... very very very very very very very very smart people you know, and they're say something that not only isn't true, but literally is as opposite of the truth as it's possible to be... and you'll... gently inform them "hey, it's actually a bit more like this" and then they just kinda... go on saying literally the exact same thing

I'm not sure if it's just that... I often feel like I must be very bad at communicating, or people must just not notice/ignore a lot of what I say, but... I don't know

Like dearest friend, you've said something as absurd as... I don't know, it's hard to say without saying it, but honest to god about as absurd as saying the United States was a part of the USSR, that level of completely getting it backwards

...and it just doesn't seem to matter when I try to explain it... I legit don't even know if you read what I said

Really end up feeling like I'm going nuts sometimes

[anonyanonymouse]

🙈

[yesiteachzumba]

@ofwemetbychance

[I gave a nod and flashed Chloe a smile as she remarked about baking up a storm for the firehouse] I can safely speak for all of them when I tell you they'd love that. They're all suckers for baked goods. Especially the homemade kind. [I said with a light chuckle] I can definitely stop by after my shift if you're feeling up for the company. [I started to say before ultimately adding] Tell you what... Since I don't know what time my shift will end, how about I text you when I'm finished. You can decide at that point if you're up for the company, or for that matter, if you're even still awake. [I said in a caring suggestion before another thought hit me] Actually, if for some reason my shift goes too late, I won't text you out of worry that I might wake you up, but if that happens, you can count on me coming by later once I'm sure you're awake. [I knew Chloe was healing and needed her rest, so the last thing I wanted to do was to come in between her getting the rest and recovery time that she needed] As far as Cindy goes, I think she'd like that. I have a feeling the two of you would get along really well. She's great. [I pointed out with another smile as I prepared to leave] I've gotta run though before the guys leave without me... Text or call me if you need anything though. [Pressing a tender kiss to the top of her head to show her I cared about her before adding] Either way though, I'll see you soon, okay? [I didn't want to leave Chloe. Especially considering she just got home from the hospital, but I know given that I was currently on shift, I didn't have much choice in the matter. Still, I meant what I said to her... I was only a call or text away if she needed anything]

continued

@yesiteachzumba

It was cute; he was the goofy kind of cute; the kind that was modest, he didn’t realize the effect he had on people. It’s why I was so drawn to Joe Cruz, because he didn’t care what anyone thought. He didn’t turn me down because of a lack of interest; he was only surprised I genuinely did like him. And yeah maybe at first it was the hero in him that I might have developed feelings for, but I knew my heart. I knew the way it did flip flops around him, how nervous I got at the idea of seeing his face again. I felt the knots in my stomach knowing I was leaving my phone number for him. Because I did want to see him again.

Any girl would’ve cut her loses and moved on. But yeah Joe was an idiot but when he has whispers in his ear about my intentions I couldn’t blame him. And I was hot, I probably was out of his league based on his words of flattery. I had to let the beaming smile cover my bare lips at his compliments. I had to enjoy the moment. He was worth unlimited chances. The way I felt when I was near him it was unconditional; it wasn’t a fleeting moment; it was real. 

“ I can say I probably am not like the girls you’re used to. But you’re wrong about me being out of your league. At first glance I felt how special you were. You care so deeply, you’re the guy that wants to do right by the people in their life. You don’t realize the affect you have on others. Any girl would be lucky to be near you. I’m surprised someone hasn’t snatched you up yet.” A beaming smile continued to lace over her features. It was unfortunate the circumstances that brought us together again; but I was happy it did. Because I did believe Joe was done with rejecting me based on the way he got comfortable in the hospital chair. He stayed until I was out of surgeon, he was loyal. It made me smile on the inside as well; it made my stomach knot up; in the good way. 

He was a firefighter; he had crazy schedules; I was an office girl; and with my level at work being reconstructed I was working more from work which would probably work in my benefit now given my injuries. But I understood Joe would be a hand when he could, I appreciated the effort. “ I know you will, stop by when you can. But when you can’t maybe it’ll just give you the chance to use that number i sent your way, unless you threw it out..” It was hint of a teasing comment; but of course Chloe would be hurt if he did by chance toss the number out. Any girl would feel her ego bruised. But I wouldn’t hold it against him. Joe showed up when it counted. 

“ It doesn’t have to be perfect, I like to think any time I’m near you it’s perfect, even in this dull hospital room.” A date; one I’ve been longing for. But I also knew it would be time before we took that step given where I sat. The stitched up patch on my forehead, the ache I felt in my chest each time I took too much of a heavy breath. The bruises on my arms said it all; my body was probably covered with black and blue marks. But for a second I wasn’t thinking of the injuries I was focused on him; and how Joe made me feel. 

Now at the mention of what he could do for me; I had to think of it; but the ice cream comment made my mouth water; I was starving, I barely ate in hours. “ Ice cream huh, pulling out all the stops I see. Water and ice cream, also if you could talk to your people about getting me out of here earlier that would be amazing.” Now the last request was a long shot considering the extent of my injuries; I could barely walk fully on my own; but I wanted let Joe help in any way he could.

[izzy-b-hands]

My doctor messaging me at 12:30 in the morning to tell me she wants to do a telehealth visit abt the side effects I'm having with my new Lamotrigine dose (including worse insomnia than my usual insomnia, as u may have guessed lmao) is. something.

[lucalicatteart]

Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 6: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression

(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)

The winning option of yesterday's poll was that the adventurer should ask the Innkeeper about the suspicious egg he got from the Well Creature….

-

After finishing his food scraps, he awkwardly creeps back over to the main counter, pulling up a stool and just hoping the Innkeeper will eventually make eye contact with him... She finally looks to the side whilst cleaning a glass, his chance to blurt out whatever he can.

"SO!- uh,, I um... I found something weird, or uh.. I didn't find it actually, I guess, I..... s-someone, or something.. gave it to me, as maybe..? a reward, or.. oh, well i-it doesn't matter why.. but UH, but so, I was just wondering, d-do you think you might know anything about it? about like, uh... stuff? Objects.. perhaps.....?"

She stares with equal parts amusement and concern, crossing her arms and letting out a soft chuckle, "Well, I've seen quite a variety of things while working here, so - Yeah, I could try to help you identify an item, if that's what you're asking."

"G-good. Okay. Well.. It's, uh..... this." He's barely even placed the little wooden egg box up on the counter before she's already slamming the lid shut and reaching over to force it back into his bag. Suddenly serious, her eyes dart around the room, scanning to ensure no-one else happened to notice.

"Don't EVER let anyone see you with that, okay??". Abrupt tone shift making him even more nervous, he just stares blankly, muttering a few gibberish noises whilst nodding at her in confirmation.

"I mean, I'm not absolutely certain," her voice lowers as she speaks, "but to me it looks exactly like a Caiploras egg. Those animals have been nearly extinct for at least a hundred years. Only tiny groups of them still exist here and there, and even those eventually get wiped out as soon as they're discovered. Kings and nobles used to hunt them, especially for the eggs, 'cause of all the theories - unique magical properties, uses in enchanting, shit like that.. I don't really know, I'm not that experienced with magic.... But.."

She pauses for a few seconds to stare him down (this does not soothe his anxiety at all), examining intently, as if to determine whether he's actually trustworthy before continuing..

"...My brother is. He's a mage, and a scholar, and he specializes in stuff like this, all these rare animals and whatnot. He'll hate me just sending a complete stranger over there, but.. I think you should go see him. He'd definitely be able to identify it- hell, he'd probably even pay you for it, if it really is what I think it is. And, he'd know how to take care of it properly, raise it well, not just cut it up for fucking potions or whatever...", she scoffs bitterly.

Grasping at a nearby napkin to fan himself with, he shifts sweatily in his seat, "W-wh... but,.. How would I do that?"

"What do you mean? Do what?"

"F-find, him.. IHhh... I just.. I don't, know the area well.. is all, I uh...."

"I'll give you directions, obviously.. Are you okay? Do you like... need some water? You look-"

"NHnnnou, I'M FINE! I just, haha.. uh... Maybe, am.. not very good at....uh.. this.." He gestures around himself nonspecifically.

With a brief confused glance, she pours a cup of water anyway, then casually plucks a small notebook from her pocket to begin scribbling messily. "Well, look, I'll give you the information, and if you feel up to it, you can go. I really think you should, but, eh... your choice, y'know."

As he fights his shaky hands to maintain control of the water glass, she lays out the paper on the table, pointing at parts of her sketch. "He's over in Fargahel, which should be a few days travel from here. See? The roads kind of go like this, but it's mostly a straight path. Look for the ruins of an abandoned castle. He's holed himself up in there, the underground part, repurposed into some sort of 'sanctuary' for rehabilitating injured birds or whatever the hell he's up to now. He probably won't attack you or anything, but I signed a little note on the back of this so he knows I sent you.. just in case."

Neatly folding up the map, she slides it towards him as she leans closer to intensely meet his eyes. "Just remember, no matter what you do, do NOT let anyone know you have that egg. There are plenty of folks out here still hunting for them. You don't want someone recognizing it and coming after you. Especially with how, uh...", it feels like she might mention he doesn't seem he'd be very good at combat, but she simply lets the sentence trail off, shrugging with a smile and politely patting his hand as he takes the paper.

"Just get some sleep, yeah? Think about it. And talk to me in the morning if you have any more questions."

He slumps over to lean on the counter, resting for a moment after she walks back to the other end of the room, just trying to wrap his head around all the new information.. He only took the egg because it looked pretty! He just wanted it to hatch into a cool chicken or something! Why does it have to actually be some big stinky scary secret rare item?... With a heavy sigh, he resolves to never again trust mysterious creatures that pop out of abandoned wells....

Eventually trudging up to his room for the night, he flops onto the lumpy mattress that seems to just be hay stuffed into dusty old potato sacks. As he rustles around waiting to fall asleep, he considers all of his options... What should he do with the egg?

[aroace-number-eight]

One of my worse fears when I do rereads of the series is that I look at moments where the characters are obscenely rude and/or make offhanded comments and gestures, and they're actually not OOC moments or contradict previous establishing character traits, because the reality is that they're total assholes and we just choose to believe they're nicer than that

[outeremissary]

OC Tag Game

Tagged by @mountainashfae. I'm not sure who has or has not been tagged for this, so if it hasn't reached you and you're interested, @turbulentpumpkin43, @silversiren1101, and @bearvanhelsing.

Favorite OC: My dearest and most special boy Caina Lilindel. Definitely one of my peak "working some things out through this one" characters. Special mention to Balthazar as well. Working some things out through that one as well.

Newest OC: I haven't needed to create a character for anything recently... The character I remember fleshing out most recently was Theodora, although her initial concept was from 2021. Theo is a sweet hearted but spoiled young princess who has begun to take a deeper interest in the mystery of her mother's identity as she stands on the cusp of adolescence. Her two dreams are to learn who her mother was and go to a normal school. The truth is that she has no mother, although that's only the first of many things her father has kept secret about his past that come up in her search for answers. Ultimately there's probably not much that will ever come of Theodora's story; you could say she's the non-canonical child of another character.

Oldest OC: That I remember the name of? My first D&D 3.5 character, an elf rogue I made when I was eight years old for a family game. When originally created her name was Nijeera the Swift and she was supposed to be in an AD&D 1e game. It was converted to 3.5 before starting because my dad thought it was a more accessible system for kids and I changed Nijeera's name to N'jira (that pointless fantasy apostrophe...) and eventually gave her the surname Amastacia (one of the default elf surnames). N'jira was a rambunctious young woman who ran away from home for a life of adventure with her half-sister after years of increasing bitterness towards her father after he remarried and moved the family into a new city. She was sassy, reckless, and glory-seeking- a kid's idea of what a fun, cool rogue was like. My sibling played the half-sister, a ranger named Crysta.

I used her as an NPC in a lot of things when I started DMing in high school and college, updating the name to Nadia Amastacia and changing her class to warlock. Nadia is really a more or less entirely different character though. As a warlock, Nadia was born to an elvish aristocratic family that had strong hereditary pride in their magical abilities, with sorcery and more conventional studied magecraft thick in the family tree. Nadia, however, was an absolutely hopeless study with no natural talent. No matter how much she wanted to meet her parents' expectations, she failed again and again until a malicious fey took advantage of her desperation to offer her power at a price: that one day when she reached the height of her beauty, he would come to take her away. The power didn't make her as happy as she had hoped: everything felt off and unearned, and she was driven to conceal the source of her new abilities. And as she aged she began to realize the terrible implications of her pact, leaving home to find a way to break it- ideally killing her patron along the way.

The last time Nadia was played in something it was actually a Madoka Magica homebrew my friend was working on in 2019, where she was the group's mean girl genius whose talents all came from her wish.

Meanest OC: It feels like kind of a cheat to say Balthazar but at the same time as far as developed characters from things I actually work on go... Yeah. Certainly the most actively spiteful and cruel. I have a fondness for characters with a mean streak though, so I think many of my characters wind up mildly unpleasant to be around.

Softest OC: I'd give the award to Melanthius, my pacifist life cleric from 5e. Despite being in their early 30s, Mel is incredibly sheltered, having lived all their life in the temple their parents had dedicated them to. They had always been told that they were especially blessed and favored by their goddess, and they had a strong belief that they owed it to the world to care for others and act as a conduit bringing that blessing to the less fortunate who sought aid at the temple. Despite being kidnapped by conquering general attempting to lay claim to their power and later being held captive by a cult, Mel isn't the kind of person who can hold grudges. They hold no ill will towards anyone and are gentle to the point of fault (despite their inflated ego as the "chosen one"). They struggle to recognize when they are being mistreated- they are quick to blame themself for anything and afraid to confront the abusive nature of their upbringing. Because they struggle to believe anyone is intentionally cruel, they have a way of trying to talk it out with everyone- and had an astounding penchant for diplomancy despite their 9 Cha that broke half the encounters in the adventure and drove the DM insane. Truly, friendship is magic.

Most aloof/standoffish OC: Hmmm. I guess to me these words mean different things, but taking them together it must be Carmen Regis, the fighter I played in Ghosts of Saltmarsh who was later adapted to a cavalier KC for Wrath. Carmen was originally conceived as a 3.5 ranger for a campaign about fey and mysterious wishes that never got off the ground- she was a mounted archer there, a kind of intermediary stage from the two older OCs she was adapted from. But none of that is relevant. The aloofness is pretty clear in her cold, unpersonable demeanor. She's naturally quiet, blunt, and not very expressive unless deeply agitated (and usually angry). She doesn't mean to come off as an ice queen, but she really does... It doesn't bother her much not forming many social connections though. More than any other character of mine, she's married to her job.

Dumbest (affectionate) OC: Absolutely Altin Wastelander, my orc dhampir gunslinger for Outlaws of Alkenstar. She's not even /actually/ dumb. She has 14 Int, I'm pretty sure. And yet despite that, she's an idiot. All she cares to use brainpower on are guns and mechanical contraptions of interest. There's no space in her brain for anything else. She shoots first and remembers she was supposed to ask questions about an hour later. Her idea of stealthily relocating a person involved a sandwich cart and bombing a public square (girl that's terrorism...). She once fired a box of fireworks on a dense crowd trying to inconvenience one guy. She has been repeatedly bringing up the fact that the party has been asked by their employer not to kill civilians just because she's worried that if she doesn't she'll forget. She's convinced a woman she's never seen for more than thirty seconds is her personal rival. She's mad there's a bounty on her head because she was arrested for the wrong crime, where the wrong crime was a high profile heist and the correct crime was holding up a fantasy 7-11. Clown ass CN dhampir. She means so well she just hasn't even stopped to think about the Ethical Issues with her actions.

Smartest OC: Cailo Suncatcher for sure. Despite behaving like a fool and a terrifying penchant for recklessly endangering herself (she is the wizard who refuses to stay out of melee), Cailo is a genius. They taught themself all of the magic they know, and have constantly found ways to innovate with that knowledge. Never content with the knowledge that's already available in the world, she constantly pushes for new understanding of the workings of the arcane and the metaphysical nature of the world. Cailo's foolishness is half facade and half others misunderstanding them: they're happy to present themself in a way she thinks others will underestimate, and believe that there is no situation they can't find a way out of. The confidence isn't unearned. Cailo also wins the title "Most Likely to Ascend to Godhood."

Horniest OC: Character I never did much with named Johannes who was a very, very repressed generic fantasy priest. Not going much deeper into this one since this isn't an nsfw account; Johannes was made to prove a point to someone about my capacity to think up erotica characters.

In terms of characters I have spent more than three days on, I'd give the award to Balthazar simply for being sexually motivated enough that I have to occasionally imagine what it's like to have libido. Truly an alien mind.

OC you’d be best friends with irl: Cailo or my dear obnoxious drow witch boy Olin Foundling. There is some kind of shared neurodivergence between us I think. I want to hang out and talk about interests for hours. I want to hear Olin's blood magic infodump.

[heartxdecay]

WHY do bad things always have to happen to me so close together like I did not NEED the combo of an acquaintance I was attempting to befriend blowing up at me and threatening to kill themselves over them deciding I said something I didn't (fuck being autistic why does everyone assume I'm inferring things when I'm actually NOT) and then my stalker who I haven't seen in about a year suddenly decides to show up at my place of work and ask MY BOYFRIEND if I was there (he lied and said I wasn't but I still caught a glimpse of him so he might have seen me) which lead to me finding out he never actually moved like he said he was going to which means realistically he could go right back to stalking and harassing me any time he wants. In the span of like 3 days. And of course right now we're like 3 weeks away from the big traumaversary time from when I left the cult + this is the midst of when I was reporting aforementioned stalker last year so I'm already constantly on high alert anyway. So now I'm constantly struggling just to stay awake let alone work and I already had to drop out of school and lie to my parents about it because the condition of me living here is remaining in school which means since I'm not they're going to kick me out if they know. So I can't NOT go to school AND not work especially because I'm trying to save as much money as possible in order to move out of this stupid hellhole of a "family" home where I'm constantly used as a third parent for my younger siblings. But I'm so tired all the time from stress keeping me awake at all hours and being completely unable to leave fight or flight mode when awake that I can barely find the energy to move, and my work is extremely tiring. I work retail as a supervisor and I have to deal with my coworkers not doing as much of the workload despite all being full time while I'm part time, none of the people I'm in charge of taking me seriously because I'm either younger than them or the same age as them, regular stress that comes with working retail and dealing with customers, and a management change that is leading to us getting a notoriously rude + perfectionist manager who I have personally seen throw an actual tantrum over having to do his JOB. Which means I can't afford to be tired and grumpy because I have to remain professional and productive. But every time something slightly off happens I want to burst into tears. Nobody there respects me and it's hard enough to handle when I'm NOT dealing with all of this. And of course because God hates me all of this happened when I decided to try to cut back on constantly vaping so after incident #2 I immediately gave up on that and I honestly think I've been going through cartridges FASTER. It's genuinely such a struggle every day to not relapse on self harm or turn to alcoholism and I'm not sure how much longer I can last. Especially because my literal only IRL support system is my boyfriend, because my parents are worth jack shit, my siblings are children, and my only "friend" in person is an objectively terrible human that I only still have around because they were my FP for a really long time and I have a hard time letting go of that relationship (every time I try I end up running back) and I just KNOW that if I even TRY to breach any of this with them they're either going to hit me with an "oof/yikes" and nothing else or spread my PERSONAL shit to everyone they know INCLUDING my extremely abusive ex that they refuse to totally cut contact with because it's "mean". which means I actually have nobody to turn to except the internet friends in my phone who for one aren't online all the time and have lives but two since they're my ONLY SUPPORT SYSTEM I cannot keep dumping everything on them constantly or I'll overwhelm them. Not to mention they have also had to deal with the acquaintance I mentioned at the start because they're actually THEIR friend, not mine, so if anything it's an even bigger deal to them. This leaves me with only my boyfriend who I already feel shitty enough about given the raging BPD.

[cosmicdreamgrl]

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