#they're my guilty pleasure SORRY
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chiarrara · 4 days ago
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new itfskg based on a hc post i saw on here in my fugue state rbing last night i'll add a screenshot or link or smth later maybe idk. okay so baskially how it goes:
megumi and nobara both have a crush on yuuji. this is especially hard for nobara bc she spent the whole first let's say year of their friendship being extremely vocal about how she'd never be into either of them but oops! she got too comfy and caught feelings
nobara eventually breaks down and goes to fushiguro to lament her plight and ask for advice. she's dramatically revealing the source of her suffering when his face gives him away (a big ol "oh no" written on his forehead) (N: what's that face? M: what face... N: oh my god... do you like him too???) (Megumi doesn't say shit cause he's a repressed loser embarrassed of having feelings)
Turns out meg's had a crush on yuuji basically since he met him. he didn't realize it at first of course cause he's way too good at lying to himself. not that good though. he's been silently fostering a deep deep crush for months.
having learned all this, for the next few weeks, nobara starts visiting fushiguro in his dorm anytime she's too overwhelmed by annoying feelings, or pulling him aside during downtime to let off steam, sharing knowing glances and silent communications across rooms. megu's surprisingly glad to have someone to confide in, especially in a way where he's not the center of attention. Since they're both pathetic losers with a crush, he finds it's easier to talk about his feelings than with anything before.
regularly commiserating about how down bad they both are leads nobara and megumi to spend more time separated from yuuji. it's really good for their friendship actually. previously they were both a bit closer to yuuji than to each other, but having a crush to bond over gives them a lot to talk about. yuuji does notice they're spending more time together. and without him. wonder how he feels about that..
one night, nobara barges into megumi's room to complain about yuuji being way too cute and funny at dinner or something while megumi's laying in bed reading. she just plops down half on top of him and starts in. He reluctantly puts his book down but he doesn't object. they've gotten pretty used to each other. so she's going off, grumbling into his shoulder, gripping his sweatshirt out of frustration, and when she looks up, fushiguro looks down at her. their faces less than a foot apart as she's leaning into him, lying together in his bed and...
N: what's that face
M: what face?
he looks away. nobara turns his face back to hers
N: that face
M: (without breaking *very intense* eye contact) I dont' know what you're talking about
they make out
it's very much teenagers with a lot of pent up energy that needs to go somewhere fooling around like teenagers with pent up energy that needs to go somewhere. they kind of crash together, they're grabbing at arms and shoulders and faces, pulling each other as close as they can without ever breaking the kiss. At one point, nobara in readjusting to keep from falling off the bed ends up on top of megumi, knees on either side of his hips, one hand propping herself up and one gripped in the fabric of his sweatshirt. he pulls her into him and rolls them over so they're chest to chest with him on top. he's pushes his hands into her hair, she wraps her arms around his back and twists her leg around h--
two knocks and the door opens
"Hey Fushiguro, I wanted to see if you..."
Yuuji's halfway through the doorway and his face is morphing into the picture of absolute despair
megumi and nobara are...like this
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(they're not naked, they're just microsoft paint stick people)
"Oh, I'm sorry... I didn't mean to... I'll just..." Yuuji sputters and stumbles out the door.
(simultaneously) M: Shit.. N: Fuck!
so the mood's kiiinda dead.... megumi ends up leaned up against the wall with his head in his hands. nobara's staring blankly at the ceiling. Eventually, nobara says, "did you see his face?" M: "mm" N: "so...which one of us do you think he likes?"
---END OF PART ONE---
(I'll continue it in like... 5 minutes probably)
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quirinah · 2 months ago
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return of the undead 🥀
blood ver:
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lepusrufus · 1 year ago
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The dichotomy of me and Widows
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nevesmose · 4 months ago
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Tonight on Border Security the most unflatteringly stereotypical British person we could find runs into some trouble at Customs, the Mail Handling Centre discovers a consignment of seven hundred dragon dildos with a surprising hidden feature, and the Navy intercepts a small piece of driftwood which may be planning to work illegally.
THE FILTHY POM WAS CEREMONIALLY KICKED WITH A GIANT BOOT AND THE DRIFTWOOD WAS FINED $18,000
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mrs-weasley-reid · 3 months ago
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AUGUST REC FICS
Hello, my sweets!! Here I am, once again, for yet another month of reading and living vicariously through our one and only Reader. I haven't read much this past month, and most of these sweet authors are people I follow (and shockingly, some are my mutuals, too !!! I'm too much of a fangirl to believe it's true). Give these gorgeous, spectacular writers a ton of love. They all deserve it so much, considering they're blessing us with such amazing work for free. Like. Comment. Reblog. The equivalent of a five-star review
Like always, I will be going based on what I've read recently and not by the date the fic was posted. Reminder to please respect these writers. Some contents are 18+. MINORS should not be interacting in any way.
— ✿ — ✿ ✿ — ✿ ✿ ✿
Spencer Reid
✿ a muted shade of green by @dalamjisung ↳ the flow of this fic was so smooth my jaw dropped down on the floor as i read through (writer's first reid fic, and it was chef's kiss)
✿ hearts aligned by @raekensluver ↳ OMG this one had me melting. roommate spencer is such a dream
✿ sick love by @misserabella ↳ guilty pleasure unlocked. a wonderful reading session filled with interesting discoveries
✿ behind closed doors by @incognit0slut ↳ i loved binging this so much !!! was a giggling, kicking mess while reading this one; and it has four parts ! we're so spoiled
✿ kiss it better by @nereidprinc3ss ↳ tmi but was having an episode of mild anxiety attack, and this saved me in the middle of the night, giggling myself to sleep, so thank you for such amazing work x
✿ dead of night & nightvisions by @cxrrodedcoffin ↳ lol i read this at work and had to fight battles not to make any facial signs that i was consuming kinky content. the second part was another level, i was cackling like a witch
✿ much ado about nothing: act iii, scene v & act iv, scene i by @incognit0slut ↳ act iii, scene v left me speechless, reader didn't fold and i took that as a win. act iv, scene i played with my emotions lol
✿ just a number by @reidsdaisies ↳ i became a stand-up actress while reading this because it's overwhelmingly spicy and filled with tension i had to provide comedic relief for myself
✿ untittled req response by @mandarinmoons ↳ no because i saw my reblog post of this and i immediately snorted and then laughed some more after rereading it. pipe cleaner will never not be funny to me
✿ poison me, i'm fine by @gghostwriter ↳ no because this one needs more attention ?????????????? i loved reading this so much i was so tempted to pull my heart out and ship it to pau, show how crumpled it was after reading
✿ my best colors for your portrait & my face in every place by @none-of-your-bullshit ↳ i wasn't lying when i said august is for angst and i immediately gobbled this up after seeing it. the way my chest was so tight but also smiling because the writing style is amazing got me looking like a lunatic
✿ cute, outraged genius by @lavenderspence ↳ tina got me laughing like a gremlin. it's so adorable she made me fall in love with spencer all over again
✿ another untitled req response by @mandarinmoons ↳ sorry, sweethearts, ket just couldn't be bothered with titles lmao. secret lover reader is my favorite lover, sooooo you all will enjoy this cutie patootie creation
✿ one single thread of gold by @gghostwriter ↳ you'll overdose of sweetness. it's so adorable and a great way to feel giggly about spencer reid.
✿ for the fear of falling apart | part one by @pathologicalreid ↳ i haven't read the rest of the parts but mhmmm this was DELISH. well-written creation that made me show emotions while reading at work. my coworkers asked me my my eyes were so wide and i think that says a lot at how great this is
✿ second to none by @raekensluver ↳ ooooo this one got my blood boiling in a good way
✿ untitled work by @sincerelybubbles ↳ adorable stuff make me melt especially when it's a spencer one
— ✦ — ✦ ✦ — ✦ ✦ ✦
Aaron Hotchner
✦ darling, in any life series by @hotchfiles ↳ at this point are we even surprise im including yet another series form lari here ? anywayyy, i love me some old flame trope
✦ picket fence dream by @hotchfiles ↳ this is a new part from the choiceless hope series and i gobbled it up. i was screaming when i read this
✦ tells by @ssahotchnerr ↳ first thing i read in the morning, and i sobbed from the overwhelming sweetness
✦ silver by @solardrop ↳ okay but this was so adorable ??? plus im def one of those gals who tried to throw herself on him, maybe even catapult myself
✦ sympathy for the devil by @hotchfiles ↳ nosebleed. spice level is not as high as i make it seem but the writing really got me sweating. just read it, you'll understand what i mean
✦ spending time with you by @lavenderspence ↳ no because TINA CALLED ME OUT WITHOUT CALLING ME OUT. i was slightly offended. the gasp i gasped was so loud asdkfnkg. but it is adorable, go read it pls pls
✦ doctor, love by @none-of-your-bullshit ↳ i love when reader slaps the character with some reality like a seasoned raw steak.
sorry, not sorry if this post is filled with lari. I reread her works religiously, so here are my favorites from hers truly:
✦ help me hold onto you ↳ oh, this is like crack for me, and i always come crawling back no matter how hard i try to stay sober
✦ half asleep takin' chances ↳ still waiting for future aaron somewhere out there
✦ choices ↳ gonna be honest with everyone this one makes me wanna deck aaron hotchner and then deck reader for folding so easily and also deck myself because im no better than reader
✦ quis ut deus? & daniel 12:1 ↳ my fave series from lari and i will never not reread them over and over and over and over again because i love it so much idk what's the appeal on me but i love it and i want this framed and buried with me even if it's unfinished
I haven't had a lot of time to visit the good ole "for you" feed in a while, so I apologize for missing all the amazing work every writer has put out this month. I will make it up to you, I promise! And if you'd like, you can send me works or mention me so I can read certain creations that you deem noteworthy for the next rec fic month!
love lots, ker x
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mockerycrow · 1 year ago
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Hello Dearest!
May I request König (I love this man) and the 141 squad (separately) where fem! reader catches them staring at her joocy ass as she's slightly bent over a table, translating some papers for them, and when she turns to see if they're listening she catches the way their eyes panic and look elsewhere.
Please my lord, I'm on my knees
-juvia
Fem!Reader Catches The 141 + König Looking At Her Ass
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cod masterlist
I’m having a 400 follower celebration!
A/N: i hope you enjoy!! also this gets a bit dirtier than i intended,,,,
You’re standing up with your hands on the table, slightly bent over it with your eyes scanning the documents in front of you. The words that flood these pages hold valuable information and it’s a language none of the main members of the 141 understand. Your their main translator for any documents and prisoners as you’ve studied and have become fluent in a variety of languages. Your eyebrows furrow as you lift one of your hands and move the document a bit to the side to reveal the one underneath it, and then that hand hovers over the laptop you have set aside to type up your translations. Your back is arched in such a way where your ass is slightly bending outwards. “Hey, where did you guys say you got these document from?— What Country?” You pick the document up that caught your eye and your eyes scan every word, muttering quiet translations. You notice he doesn’t say anything, causing you to look back at him. “Hey, are you listening?—“ Suddenly his head looks the other way with a clear of his throat and you’re left confused. Did this topic make him nervous? Did something happen when they got these documents for this reaction to occur?—and then it hits you. He was staring at your ass. “Were.. were you looking at my ass?”
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-> John Price
He clears his throat and his fingers go to his chin, rubbing at it nervously. Price hoped you didn’t notice him staring; he couldn’t help it. The way your back is arched just puts your ass on the most perfect display, and the way your pants are hugging your ass?? God, it’s like you wore them to kill him.
He can’t deny it, not when you so clearly caught him red handed. “Guilty.” He responds, his eyes darting anywhere but you. He’s being careful, as he knows this could very well go a way he didn’t want. “I’m sorry.”
Price has always noticed you around base, always thought it was a pleasure working with you. Your skills and talents in quick translation always impressed him. Your quips and your remarks have always intrigued him as well. It’d be a lie to say this is his first time staring.
“I don’t mind.”
He nearly asks you to repeat yourself but the glint in your eye, combined with your eyelash batting and the way you’re sticking your ass out even further, openly letting him take it in.
You then turn back around to your work, purposely bending your leg to stick your ass out into such a glorious pose, causing him to swear under his breath.
-> Kyle Garrick
He laughs with a nervous hue, his hands behind his back, one hand gripping the wrist of the other. Kyle can feel his heart pounding through the pulse on his wrist. His face feels hot from embarrassment as he clicks his tongue and rocks on the balls of his feet for a second, avoiding any eye contact with you. “Nope.”
You smirk because you know he was, you saw that split second of enthrallment, admiring the way your pants hug your ass, curving in on the underside, folding in such a perfect way, showing off how grabbable it is, how the meat of it would sink under his fingers. His face begins to heat up as his fingers twitch, the want to squeeze filling his gut.
“Mhm, sure.” You didn’t sound mad, in fact you sound.. amused. You turn back to your work, but not before pulling your pants up even further, digging into the crevices of your muscle. You pretend you don’t hear the quiet, shocked “damn” come from his lips for his own sanity.
-> John MacTavish
His cheeks are red while his hand scratches the back of his head, which he does when he’s embarrassed. Soap hesitantly looks at you again after a second of not responding. You look back at him with a smirk curled on your face, tilting your head as you oh so innocently change poses by leaning your back more into a down position, arching your back ever so slightly more than before.
Okay, now he was definitely obvious with his staring. Soap has to admit that he’s glanced once or twice before, but he never stared when he thought there was a chance where he could get caught.
You hum and turn back to the documents below you, and Soap thought that was that for a moment—oh, how he was wrong. You begin to talk.
“I know you were,” You quip. “How long?” He jolts ever so slightly, offering a nervous chuckle. You note his accent seems to thicken and drip from his voice like thick honey now. “What d’ya mean?” You look at him with a raised brow, and he gives you a smile that shows his gums. You roll your eyes playfully.
“Y’know, if you just admitted it, I would’ve let you touch.” Wait, what?
-> Ghost
He weighs his options and lets out a heavy sigh with an admission of guilt which you grin at; it’s not easy to get Ghost to admit to something like this. Admit to a mistake made on the field, sure, no problem, he’ll take full ownership but fuck, this is different.
You tread carefully, but you bite your lip, keeping your eyes on his. You notice the way his eyes are slightly wider than normal and he’s looking away; you guarantee that he’s blushing under that black grease and dark skull mask and you love how nervous he seems.
“It’s alright to look.” You murmur, and you turn your head back to the papers in front of you. As soon as he knows you look away, he looks back at you, and more specifically your ass. “I know these pants are tight, hm?” You can’t help but tease him about it, bending your spine so your ass is out more. “I beg your pardon?” His words are slow and connected in a swift sentence, his voice slightly tight.
You don’t respond verbally, but you shoot him a look over your shoulder that says it all, and he returns a lidded look that involuntarily pulls a grin from your lips.
-> König
“I apologize..!” He blurts out as he looks away, his fingers intertwining nervously. He did not mean to stare, really, but your pants are so tight and he’s usually really respectful and he doesn’t usually stare, and he can usually keep his eyes from wandering—
You tilt your head as you notice the man just lock up in place and you can’t help but bark out a laugh, causing him to glance at you before glancing away, pure shame radiating off of him. “König, it’s fine, I don’t care,” You begin, the corner of your lip lifting in amusement.
König keeps his eyes off of you even after you say you don’t mind as he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable, but that doesn’t stop his mind from wandering. He wondered if those pants fit you that tight everywhere? Did you own any pants that fit you tighter?
His eyes do end up on your ass again as he wonders if you own any tight leggings, the type that are sheer and and hug your legs and waist tight. The type that leave little to the imagination as it hugs the swell of your ass and the roundness of your cunt—
“König.” “Es tut mir Leid!!”
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jasmineoolongtea · 4 months ago
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― test drive ⭑.ᐟ
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― the ways in which they drive you (crazy) ⋆⭒˚.⋆
contents: gojo x gn!reader, geto x gn!reader, nanami x gn!reader, choso x gn!reader, toji x gn!reader, megumi x gn!reader, yuuta x gn!reader, yuji x gn!reader, the term passenger princess is used but is not gender specific, nicknames (baby, darling, my dear, love, doll), kissing, fluff, slight crack for some, jjk men and their driving habits (stay safe on the road guys jhdshdj) a/n: title is based on test drive by ariana grande and i wrote this to celebrate me getting my driver's license so yipeeee !!! this is much longer than i was expecting it to be (especially for a headcannon/drabble) so sorry for the delay on my behalf, as always, reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciate and much love from me to you all <33
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gojo satoru fights with you over who gets to be passenger princess loves to take you out for spontaneous drives whenever and wherever that you begin to question if this might be a secret addiction or guilty pleasure of his.
(his real secret addiction is just you but it doesn't take a detective to figure that out)
"hop in!" he shouts as he arrives at your front door in a shiny white convertible. it seems that he's decided to whip out an old classic of his, though you can't deny that he keeps you on your toes whenever he pulls up in a new or different ride seemingly every time he picks you up.
you wonder to yourself what he does with all his other cars in that massive collection of his.
"we're going on a trip to the beach you've been telling me about for weeks and plus, i already booked a hotel suite for us." he announces eagerly and though his eyes are currently covered by a pair of black sunglasses, you know that they're practically glimmering with palpable excitement. he opens his hand towards you as his way of beckoning you to come along with him.
you take his hand and he pulls you towards his side to the point where you're almost resting atop his door before he presses his lips against your intertwined hands in a lingering kiss.
"toru, is this a cry for help? are you on the run from something?" you joke, a look of mild amusement on your features, and he rolls his eyes light-heartedly at you.
"please, baby?" he slides up his sunglasses so that they're perched up on his snowy white locks and looks up at you with those big puppy-dog eyes that you know you could never ever say no to no matter how ridiculous the request was.
you silently think over his proposition for a moment.
looking up to the sky, you notice that today is a particularly sunny day and despite the sun being smack dab in the middle of the sky, it also wasn't boiling hot on account of the light breeze which made this a special type of sunny day that was a once in while occurrence for summertime. to be fair, it had also been a while since you and satoru went out anywhere together on account of your clashing schedules so it wasn't necessarily the worst thing to be spending some time off with him.
(you also wouldn't mind the sight of him shirtless on the beach but that was a different conversation to be had)
you look back at him and after careful consideration on your behalf, decide to indulge in this whim of his.
"okay, fine but did you-"
"yep, i already made all the arrangements so it's all cleared up for the two of us." he cuts you off smoothly with a cheeky wink.
"i don't want you stressing about anything in that head of yours, alright?" as if to punctuate his point, satoru lightly taps on your forehead which earns him a small smile and a soft shove to the shoulder from you.
you quickly head in to grab some stuff from your place before returning outside and jumping into the passenger seat. he leaps out of his seat and over the hood of the car to open the door for you before you can even reach for the handle and you sink in comfortably into the expanses of the plush leather seat beneath you.
"you better make this worth it, mister." you remark playfully at him. he returns the smile on your face with one of his own as he leans over to place a deep kiss against your lips, taking his time to savour the taste of you on his tongue.
"trust me, baby. i'll make it worth your while."
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geto suguru always makes you his designated passenger princess when driving. no matter what vehicle it is, be it a car, motorcycle, or even a bicycle (you're still not sure how he managed to do that), suguru has seemingly decided that the title of passenger princess belongs to you and only you.
he takes this so seriously that he even goes so far as to specifically reserve the front seat for you in any vehicle he's driving in and makes sure that you're the only one who can sit there. just ask satoru, who unfortunately had to learn that the hard way when he tried to call shotgun one time on a road trip and was chased off by suguru who went to the extent of blocking the door to the front seat until you arrived which he graciously opened the door for you whilst also sending satoru a warning stare.
now, this isn't because he doesn't trust your skills, he does wholeheartedly and would gladly put his life in your hands. it's just that he thinks that you deserve to relax and that you deserve the princess treatment at all times (his words, not yours).
of course, if you do want to drive, he'll let you but he always insists on helping you out in any way that he can even if it is the smallest things like clipping on your seatbelt for you before surprising you with a fleeting kiss against your cheeks, though the sensation is gone before you know it and you're left wondering if it really just happened.
he always does it in a way that's so subtle that by the time you notice, it's already too late and he just smiles at you with an oh-so-innocent look on his face that makes it impossible to even accuse him of any wrongdoing, although this wasn't really a wrongdoing in most senses of the word per se.
though, it seems that this time, you're able to catch him red-handed in the act.
as the car pulls into the parking spot, you make a move to reach for the handle to open the door on your side when suddenly, it seems that someone has apparently beaten you to the punch.
you pause for a moment as your brain attempts to catch up with what has apparently just transpired.
"sugu, wasn't my hand on there?" you ask, quickly flicking your eyes back and forth from where you were sure where your hand used to be and where suguru's hand was now residing.
"hmm?" he raises a curious eyebrow in your direction, as if completely oblivious to his own actions. "oh, i'm not sure what you're talking about, darling." he remarks, brushing off your concern in a nonchalant manner as he leans over to unbuckle your seatbelt for you.
"suguru." you chide, there's a warning edge to your words as you cross your arms at him. thinking about it now, you're definitely sure that it was suguru who moved your hand out of the way just so he could open it for you.
it's not that you were necessarily mad about him doing this, quite the opposite in fact as you can't deny the way he makes your heart flutter whenever he goes out of his way to treat you like royalty, but rather, you're more interested in finally being able to get a confession from the ever elusive geto suguru.
he stops for a second, as if to weigh up the options in his mind, before a small sigh escapes his lips as he reaches over to gently caress your cheek. "i'm just saying that why do you need to do something so small when i'm here to do it for you."
maybe it's the way you seemingly become putty in his hands or the velvety cadence of his voice that you're pretty sure could convince people to walk into a wall without them even realising or perhaps it's just him, but you find yourself hard-pressed to try and come up with any sort of rebuttal on your end so you settle for a silently 'humph' of defeat.
a soft chuckle escapes him at your response. he presses his lips against your temple before tilting his head ever so slightly sideways so he can get a better look at you. "if you really don't like it, i'll stop. but, if you don't mind, then just let me treat you, alright darling?"
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nanami kento might just be the best (and most distracting) driving teacher you could ever ask for.
it wasn't that you didn't know how to drive, you did, but rather, you wanted to get better at it because you always felt a slight pang of guilt whenever you noticed how he would occasionally try to fight off a small yawn when you're in the car with him. you know how much his job drains him already so you're honestly just worried that he might be overexerting himself when he should be trying to take the time to catch up on some much-needed rest instead.
when you originally approached him with this idea, he tried to reassure you that there was nothing to worry about and that he was fine.
"really, my dear, it's no trouble. you know i enjoy driving you around." he insists, an arm curling up around your figure as you nestle into his embrace one friday evening on your living room couch.
"that's not the point, kento." you pout slightly as you gaze up at him from your position. you gently run your finger underneath his eyes as you take in just how dark his eyebags appear to be. "just think of it as me wanting to help lighten some of your burdens when you're tired, that's all."
he rests his chin upon the crown of your head, silently mulling over your request for a moment in his head before agreeing. "alright then, but don't think i'll go easy on you, dear."
you giggle softly at his answer, brushing off his words as a joke before you lean in for a kiss.
you should have really paid attention then.
true to his words, it seems that kento was really making true to his promise as you have never met someone this meticulous and so dedicated to all the small details when it came to driving in general. hell, this might even be more difficult than when you first took your driving lessons to get your license.
it also doesn't really help that he might be one of the most distracting teachers you've ever had as well as you've never had to fight this hard to focus until now when he's reaching over to smoothen out any wrinkles that might have appeared on your clothes because of your seat belt and brushing his hands against yours when you reach for the gear shift.
"you have to pay attention, my dear." he reminds you as he delicately tilts your face so that you're facing forward at the road instead of stealing glances at him. "eyes on the road, not me."
a shaky breath leaves your lips as you try to concentrate on driving, just like he says, but you're beginning to wonder if this is a test of your strength as a person instead when his large hands envelop yours as he helps readjust your hands to the correct position on the steering wheel.
at least when you do something well, you're rewarded with a kiss from him so he definitely understands how to incentivise you even more which is a strong strategy in your books that has no complaints.
when you decide to surprise him one day by picking him up from work, the look on his face is absolutely priceless when you roll down the window and he realises that it's you. once inside the car, he laces his fingers with yours as he brings your hand up to his lip for a soft kiss.
"you've passed with flying colours." he congratulates you, a smile playing on his lips as he gazes at you with utter adoration in his eyes.
although, there will forever be a part of you that misses being able to experience teacher nanami kento. maybe you can convince him to teach you something else.
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kamo choso needs to have his hand on you at all times and this extends to driving as well.
it was like a mental checklist that he would run through every time the two of you got into the car, no matter who was driving. doors locked? check. nothing blocking the car? check. all mirrors are angled correctly? check. his hand on you? he gives your hand a cursory glance and quickly intertwines his fingers with yours before he squeezes it softly, soaking in the feeling of your hand enveloped in his. a satisfied hum leaves his lips as he checks off another box in his head.
if it was up to him, you two would just stay home all the time so he could remain glued to you forever but unfortunately for him, it seems that the world doesn't agree with his fantasies.
you never really questioned this habit of his, rather just writing it off as another one of his adorable quirks that you were privy to as his significant other, much like how he likes to trail behind you like a lost puppy whenever you walk anywhere together or how he insists that you should wear his hoodies since they're much better at helping you stay warm even though you both bought hoodies at the same store. small things, like that you know?
however, one day, it seems that your curiosity has seemingly gotten the best of you as you decide to pull off a harmless prank on him to just see what would happen if there were to be a snag in this routine of his.
when the two of you get into the car that day, choso runs through his usual checklist before starting the car and when he gets to the specific step involving you, you evade his attempts to hold your hand. the moment his hand is met with the cold emptiness of air instead of the warmth of yours, he freezes up for a second as his mind tries to comprehend what just happened.
"did i do something?" there's an immediate switch in his demeanour as he almost visibly shrinks and shrivels up in his seat like a cartoon flower that has been deprived of water and sunlight. his voice is delicately soft, as if scared to break this newfound silence between the two of you with one wrong move on his behalf, with a small pout on his lips that reminds you of a kicked puppy.
with one look at his face, you can feel your resolve start to waver and you're extremely tempted to throw your little prank out of the window to go and comfort him and reassure him that he's done nothing wrong but you steel yourself in an attempt to hold your ground.
"you didn't do anything, cho." you reply plainly, trying to keep your voice as relaxed as possible to avoid giving anything away.
you're pretty sure his pout gets even poutier, which you weren't sure could even possibly happen, at your response as he asks again in a thinly veiled plea. "then why won't you let me hold your hand when i drive?"
"well, why do you want to do it in the first place."
"because it's my good luck charm." without even missing a beat, he replies in a tone so matter of fact, you can hardly find any good reason to protest.
"that's all?" you probe, curiosity eagerly egging you on.
"well, i also like being reminded that you're right to me."
"you could just look at me, cho." you giggle softly. he shakes his head at you.
"yeah, but it's not the same as holding you. i like feeling you in my hands. so, can i have your permission to hold your hand?" he reaches his hand out towards you earnestly as he anxiously awaits your response.
you lean over to give him a quick peck on the lips before breaking into a small smile, seemingly satisfied with his heartfelt words, as you take the initiative to entwine your fingers with his. this earns you a soft grin and blush from choso who eagerly peppers your face with kisses with barely-contained joy and relief from being able to hold you again.
after this, you sometimes decide to surprise choso by making the first move to reach for him instead of vice versa and his heart always skips a beat as he tries and fails to fight off a smile whenever you do.
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fushiguro toji scares you slightly with the way that he drives. hear me out, that's not to say that he isn't good, he's a great driver truth be told (but you would never say that to his face because you could just imagine the smirk on his face if you did), but he does
to be fair, toji is far from being a novice driver so it makes sense that he's comfortable enough in his abilities to be able to pull off such risky manoeuvres in your eyes but you can't help how your heart skips a beat or two when he starts pulling moves straight from movies like fast & furious.
whenever you lightly chide him for making such moves like how he effortlessly weaves his way around tight corners and such, he always brushes off your concerns with ease.
"doll, do you think that i'd ever risk doing anything stupid when i have precious cargo in here hmm?" he quips back at you with a raised eyebrow and one corner of his lips slightly upturned in that classic crooked smirk of his that makes your heart flutter in more ways than one.
you think for a second about how you want to wipe off that grin with a kiss, to give him a taste of his own teasing, but then you're reminded that you don't wanna give him this victory so you turn off to the side with a small huff leaving your lips. he chuckles to himself under his breath at your antics before leaning over to your side of the car.
"no comment, doll?" he teases. you don't take the bait but you can feel your cheeks rising with heat with how close he is to you to the point you can feel his breath against your neck.
after seeing that you're not budging, toji leans back into his seat though not before intertwining his fingers with yours and bringing the back of your hand to his lips for a quick kiss. he lets go of your hand shortly after and reassuringly squeezes your thigh with his calloused hand.
"have some more faith in me, would 'ya?" he hums and you expect him to let go of you when he starts to drive again, but he doesn't and his grip on you remains there for the entire ride and the next ride after and so forth to the point where it becomes an unspoken habit for him to do so.
he does take a bit more caution when driving now, which he can tell is much to your relief when he notices that you seemingly have much more free time to try and tease him when he's driving for your own amusement.
but after all, old habits die hard and sometimes, they slip through every now and then like when he suddenly pulls off a rapid turn but this time, you can't deny the adrenaline rush that comes along with it.
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fushiguro megumi has the most infuriating driving habits in the way that they're also the most attractive driving habits you've ever seen someone have.
you might be biased on account that he's your boyfriend but put anyone in your shoes and in that close proximity to him when he leans over the console to check your seatbelt for you and brushes against you or how he never fails to catch your eyes when adjusting the rear-view mirror and you're sure that they would have the same reaction as you which would be a blushing mess.
ironically, he also drives you up a wall with how oblivious he's acting to the effect it has on you. it has to be an act right? you think to yourself. there's no way that he can be so oblivious to the fact that whenever he looks at you, your face is always flushed red and you're sure that he can't truthfully buy your weak attempts at brushing off his concerns as you stutter an excuse out.
probably one of his worst offences in your book was when he would roll up his sleeve before putting his arm behind your seat to get a better view while reversing. you couldn't even try to logically come up with an explanation for why he does this since no way having his sleeves rolled up affects his ability to do this in any way, shape or form. plus, his car has a rearview camera on the dash monitor so he doesn't even need to look back like this!
well, there's a part of you that knows that you shouldn't probably complain that much since it gives you a good excuse to stare unabashedly at the way his lean muscles flex slightly with each move he makes. but still, the point remains that you have to try and pretend like you're perfectly fine despite
this has to be some form of torture right? you think to yourself, being able to only stare and not do anything else because he's busy driving and you don't want to distract him but yet you're being constantly subjected to stuff like this. you try and fight the growing red blush that seeks to consume your face as you continue to test the limits of your own resolve.
it seems that you're far too lost in your own head and have completely zoned out when suddenly, a voice interrupts your train of thought. "are you looking at my arms?"
at megumi's question, you're instantly brought back into reality as you realise that you had zoned out whilst blatantly staring at his exposed arms and therefore was just caught red handed in the act of shamelessly ogling.
you can feel a strong sense of embarrassment starting to set in as your mind runs through hundreds of different possible responses to his question that range from outright denial to a full-on detailed rant on the way some of his driving habits make you feel before you finally decide to settle on a simple "yes."
a beat of silence passes between the two of you before megumi awkwardly attempts to clear his throat as he brings a hand up to run through his hair.
"o-oh, okay." he stutters out as he tries to turn his attention back to the wheel.
neither of you speak any more on the topic for the rest of the journey though, there seems to be a shift in megumi as he seemingly becomes much more observant towards the apparent effect he has on you when he drives and although you can't confirm it, it also seems that now his actions are much more intentional instead of accidental as he'll purposefully linger on you now rather as if to draw out your reaction rather than pull away normally like before.
you're also sure that there's a ghost of smile on his lips when you do get flustered because of him.
however, he can't hide the fact that the tips of his ears burn bright red whenever he catches you staring now.
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okkotsu yuuta loves to shower you with all the love and attention he can offer you at all times. if this was a job, he would be the employee of the month every single month and he would never fail to clock in for his shift. it's not his fault if he gets so distracted by this that he forgets that he also has to do other things as well.
this is probably also why yuuta isn't a very good multitasker when you're next to him.
as much as you love it and him, you had to strike a compromise with him that he could hold it in until you were at a red light in order to make sure that one, his attention would stay on the road and not you, and two, you two would stop getting honked at or angrily stared at by the other drivers on the road who were unfortunate enough to be in the same lane.
whenever the light does turn green and he has to return his attention back to driving, he always pulls away with the most regretful look on his face and you can't help but picture him as a little sad puppy whenever he looks at you with those large, seemingly bottomless eyes that threaten to pull you in whenever you stare at them too long.
you're currently stopped at a red light, a surprisingly long one at that, and it seems that yuuta is fully taking advantage of this opportunity by reaching over the console and capturing your lips in his with such vigour you might think he's been deprived of your touch for the last century (not that you're complaining, of course)
you hear the beeping of the traffic light coming in from your right side, informing you that the light is going to change soon and you break apart for a breath of air to quickly inform him. "yuu, the light's gonna turn green soon."
"just a few more seconds, love." he murmurs against your lips. he has his fingers hooked around your chin as if to hold you in place so he can savour the taste of your just a bit longer. it's clear that he has no intentions to pull away with how his other hand is slowly snaking its way around your waist.
"yuu," you huff out as your eyes flick to the rear window, taking stock of the seemingly endless line of cars waiting behind yours. "i'm pretty sure the car behind us is honking at us to go."
almost as if right on cue, there's the loud screech of a car horn from behind you which goes on for what is probably longer than necessary but yuuta gets the message as he quickly scrambles back into his seat with a small yelp of surprise escaping from his lips and the car jumps back to life as he presses down on the accelerator.
he offers you a sheepish look and you roll your eyes light-heartedly before leaning over to his side to place a chaste kiss against his cheek. the tips of his ears burn bright red the moment your lips grace his skin and he almost visibly deflates when the sensation proves to be a fleeting one.
you can almost see the cogs turning in his mind as he scans the road ahead for any traffic lights or intersections and you know that he's already hoping that they turn red as soon as he gets closer to them. he squeezes your hand twice before returning to the steering wheel and you can't help but smile to yourself at him.
at least you have something to look forward to at red lights now.
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itadori yuji makes it his personal job to make every drive with him the most fun drive you could ever have.
originally, it started out with him trying to find a way to make driving more enjoyable for you when you were practising for your driver's test since he knew how much it stressed you out and it hurt his heart to see you so panicked.
if it was up to him, he wouldn't mind being your personal driver 24/7 but he also knew that this was a really big milestone for you and you were insistent on learning this life skill and so it became his life mission to make driving enjoyable for you in any way, shape or form that he can.
of course, with any new thing, there was a slight learning curve for yuji, especially since he was going from what he was used to with his role as the driver to a passenger, but soon enough he became an expert in this to the point where it was almost like he was a mind reader with how well he could anticipate your wants and needs.
carpool karaoke? he's already got a playlist loaded up with all your favourite hits on there. feeling peckish? yuji has a stash of snacks that he knows you love ready in the trunk and is always willing to hop out at a local gas station and go on a late-night shopping spree with you. a bit tired? he's got a pillow and blanket with your name on it in the back seat and he's ready to take over from you at any second.
even when you're not driving, he still tries his best to take care of you whilst also paying attention to the road and although sometimes the balance is a bit more towards you, you don't mind jumping in to help a bit here and there.
when you do try and thank him for his efforts, he always brushes it off with ease as he insists that he's only fulfilling his duties as your boyfriend and that he doesn't need any thanks for doing something as simple as this.
whatever you need, yuji's prepared and ready to help you out in any way that he can and all he could ever ask for in return is to see that smile that he loves so much on your face.
after each drive with him, you always remember to pepper his face with kisses before leaning in for a peck against his lips, which inevitably turns into something much longer as he chases after the fleeting feeling of your lips on his, as your own way of thanking him.
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penelopeswifey · 25 days ago
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ACCIDENTALLY YOURS!
CHAPTER 2 —
oh!
a/n: help hi I'm sorry for like ignoring this smau for a month oh my gosh 💔💔 anyway happy late Halloween !! 🎃🎃 this one's rather short .. ILL MAKE UP FOR IT .. I SWEAR 🙏 I'll try double updating tmrw 😁
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Scaramouche rolled his eyes, groaning. Already pissed off. The last thing he needed was another pointless social media drama. with another sigh, he  opened Twitter, half-expecting some mundane gossip and rumours about his latest performance.
But.
Instead, his timeline was flooded with tweets mentioning him, it wasn't shocking.. but it was mixed with a name he didn't recognize.. @ynrambles..? He blinked, confused, scrolling past endless tags and mentions. The tweets were… something..
" scarasmicrophone: just thinking about yns situation makes ME embarrassed and I don't even know the mf "
" vortexspublicdefender: lowkey I can't even be mad at yn, the fics are GOOD. likee .. 🫦 "
He frowned, extremely confused. Pausing over a thread where fans discussed you, your recent slip up, and a fanfiction he hadn’t even known existed.
“ What the hell.. "  he muttered, opening your profile. What he found made his eyebrows shoot up. Sure enough, your latest post had blown up, showing a clip from your stream where you had, very awkwardly, confirmed writing a certain fanfiction.
Curiosity piqued, he tapped a link someone had shared, leading to the fanfic in question. The summary alone was enough to make his jaw clench, not in anger, but in absolute disbelief. How.. how could someone be so shameless?!.. no.. no, his fans on twitter were worse.
“ Holy shit.. " he mumbled, as the realization settled in. From what he gathered, Fans have made it very clear that you were both a somewhat popular streamer and the writer of a VERY detailed (and strangely accurate..) story about his fictional alter ego.
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For a moment, he could only sit there, wondering how to respond—or if he even should.. but the thought of someone talking mad shit about him, just to be publicly humiliated for liking him was way too entertaining for him to let go.
He quickly typed in a message to they're DMS, and hit send.
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ACCIDENTALLY YOURS!
SYPNOSIS: You, a well-known streamer, have always kept your two hobbies separate. By day, you entertain thousands with your snarky commentary, but by night, you secretly write. fanfiction about your favorite idol, Balladeer. It was a guilty pleasure—until a late-night stream led to a slip of the tongue and exposed your secret to the world!
In a single moment of poor judgment and a misclick, which by the way was totally not your fault!.. I think.. clips and memes about you spread like wildfire! It was embarrassing enough for everyone to know about your fanfiction, but it spiraled down even further when they discovered you were writing about the very idol you  constantly claimed was overrated.
Just as you wallowed in self-pity, a notification pings on your phone. A familiar username and a blue checkmark.
Shit.
accidentally yours masterlist - chapter 3 —>
taglist:
@kaeuri @kazumiku @kyouzki @skyoverkill1 @flowzel @lalalaloveallmydays @sketcheeee @vi0let-writes @kunikuzushis-darling @js-a-silly-little-guy @simonisferal @jayzioxx @naevis-callingae @vxmp-loml @dxrling-xing @suzueuieeeee @kinanahana @help-whatdoimakemyusername @dearanemo @heusalettle @v4lerixxq @catorkitty @khsuvy
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a-twistedheartslonging · 8 months ago
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Dependable Senpai
They swallowed the bitter spoonful of liquid before leaning back against the pillows behind them. Sitting in bed sick, their body ached, weak, and fatigued from the fever that had come on suddenly the night before. The room was dim, the only light filtering in through the curtains Trey had drawn earlier in an attempt to ease the Prefect’s pounding headache. He sat at the edge of their bed gently dabbing their forehead with a cool cloth, a worried crease between green brows.
"Well done, I didn't even have to change the taste for you to take it," he praised. "Eh, it's just a bit bitter. No reason to throw a fit," they rasped out in response, their throat sore from coughing throughout the night. He let out a small laugh and replied, "I wish the others were as easy to manage when they're sick."
"Don't tell me...the other guys actually throw fits about taking medicine?..." they asked in disbelief. “But we're in freaking college…” He tried to smile but it looked pained as he responded. "Let's just say you're my favorite for a reason." 
Always such an obedient little thing…
"That's sweet...still I'm sorry I made you worry and come all the way out here, senpai," they apologized, their voice rough and strained. He simply smiled kindly and shook his head, taking their smaller hand in his own and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "You have nothing to apologize for. I came because I wanted to. Besides, I enjoy spending time with you," he replied sincerely. Though his words were meant to provide comfort, they couldn't help but feel a bit guilty knowing how busy the third-year student usually was with his duties and responsibilities.
Sensing their swirling thoughts, Trey gently spoke their name in a questioning tone, his concern for them obvious despite the calm demeanor he tried to maintain. "Are you feeling okay? You're not getting worse, are you?" he asked gently as he studied their flushed face.
“Oh, no...I, uh...” they fidgeted beneath the blanket wrapped around their shoulders. “I’ve just never really had anybody take care of me like this, even my own family back in my world. So I was surprised, I guess I wasn't expecting you or anyone to do this kind of thing for me.” They admitted softly, a tinge of sadness in their voice. 
He felt a little bad for them but still had to keep from smiling. What a chance to show them what the gentle affection their dear dependable Senpai can provide…but also…
“You haven't? Well, I…”
Though he wanted to know more, he knew he shouldn't ask too directly. Still, when would the right time even be? They were a little loopy right now, so it would be easy to ask subtle questions and see where the conversation led. Maybe he could find out just how inexperienced they really were…
He clears his throat. “So, not even by a...boyfriend?”
Well, that was about as subtle as a brick through a window.
He couldn't help but cringe and regret the words as soon as they left his mouth. But before he could apologize, they looked shyly to the side before responding. "Ah...I've never actually had a boyfriend before or anything like that...so no.” 
He takes a deep breath.
Well then…
They sighed heavily, their shoulders slumping in embarrassment. “Pretty lame, right?”
Of course, his sweet, innocent darling had never had a relationship before. 
At his lack of response, they got even more flustered. “S-sorry, I said something dumb-”
"Not at all." He quickly reassured them, wanting to erase any doubts from their mind. "Whoever goes out with you will have all the luck." He leaned towards them bracing a hand against their headboard, causing them to blush at his sudden closeness.
“S-senpai?” they responded in surprise, not expecting just how...excited he sounded.
"Going out on dates, eating together, holding hands..." They felt his breath against their face as he spoke, making their heart race as he described the simple pleasures of a new romance.  He glances at their lips before meeting their eyes. “First kiss...they'll be the first to do all that with you...very lucky." 
He then leaned back, removing his arm from the headboard, and proceeded to adjust his glasses, as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. 
“Once you're better I’ll bake one of your favorites. How does that sound?”
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freakroth · 6 months ago
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i saw your post saying that people who ship incest and headcanon dazai as liking that stuff are obviously going to be harrassed. I don't headcanon dazai as liking daddy kiddy stuff, but i want to ask how you think writing about that makes a person bad. because dazai has literally committed AT LEAST child abuse(akutagawa), 136 murders, 312 extortion cases, 625 cases of fraud and more. but if you think authors deserve to get harrassed for writing about sick crimes like incest because they support or like such things, then why aren't you harrassing asagiri for writing about all those things? and I've seen alot of people that act like sex crimes are somehow different from torture and murder. so I'd like to ask this. do you approve of cheating irl because you act like people who write about sexual related immorality are condoning it and then you say that you might write about cheating in your fic request rules. Also, If you're deep in the bsd community then you may have read no longer human, in which it is heavily heavily implied(to the point that there's literally no other explanation for what happened to her exept rape) that yozo's wife,yoshiko, was raped. do you believe that the irl dazai approved of rape?
I don't mean to come off as rude or argumentative, so sorry if i do, im genuinely curious.
I'm sorry but, are you stupid? you're asking why someone is a bad person for writing incest, pedophilia and rape content. OFC SOMEONE IS A BAD PERSON FOR WRITING THAT KIND OF STUFF. If someone writes it they normalize it, and normalzing disgusting shit like that is VERY harmful.
Its kinda dumb that you are compering Dazai, a fictional character to real people, Dazai is not a real person, so his actions don't effect real people, but people who make incest do effect real people. As someone who is a victim of sa, its very triggering to see incest, pedophilia, rape ect content being made of my favorite character. Making that type of content is normalizing it, and if we normalize kids being raped by someone they're close to, then its gonna end up making younger kids think that its okay if that happens to them.
"but if you think authors deserve to get harrassed for writing about sick crimes like incest because they support or like such things" i never said to harass the writers, i said that if they are gonna write that shit they need to be able to handle the hate, and yes they deserve hate for making it, and saying its for coping isn't a valid excuse, because they are hurting other victims at the same time.
"I've seen alot of people that act like sex crimes are somehow different from torture and murder" They are different, rape is done by the attacker so that they can feel sexual pleasure. And sadly in some cases, like junko furuta, people get raped, tortured and murdered for no reason. But still torture and rape are still different, and i don't know why you're bringing up torture and murder when this is about incest content.
"do you approve of cheating irl because you act like people who write about sexual related immorality are condoning it and then you say that you might write about cheating in your fic request rules." The answer is no, just because i said i MIGHT write for it doesn't mean i will, its meant as "in some cases i might write it" and even if you don't condone incest, rape and pedophilia irl, its stil very much wrong and disgusting and people who write it should really feel guilty about it, if you have thoughts about that stuff you need to seek help, not normalize and spread it around the interent. Also cheating and incest/rape content aren't comperable btw, one is a crime and the other one is breaking someones trust.
Now the book part, i have the book but i haven't read it, and bringing the real life dazai, into this is stupid, he lived over 70 years ago, people thought differently about rape back then so its hard to know. also the book is a fucking autobiography so ofc its gonna talk about stuff that happened in his life
Anyways please tell me if anything in here is wrong or if you wanna add anything to this
Btw saying "sorry if i come of as rude" after compering me to weirdos is something! 🥰
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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 10 months ago
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i explain india but i'm drunk.
Hello maggots of mine you're all such babygirls and bastards just like Aziraphale and Crowley. I'm so proud of you all for existing. Yes i'm a wholesome drunk you now know this about me. The wine tastes like rotten grapes and smells of battery acid and cost 245 rupees INR. Speaking of INR, thanks to a maggot's ask, I'm here to explain India. I've never set foot outside of this country. But I'm also very very shit at general knowledge.
To any non-Indians reading this, this is a totally legit 1000% everything covered all-inclusive summary. To any Indians reading this, I'm so so fucking sorry.
India, explained.
So there's south india and there's north india and there's north east india. north india is very racist about south india and they're both very racist about north east india. Most of these people are also probably racist either to other countries or they have internalised racism. It's a wild trip.
There are. A lot of languages here. And a LOT of scripts. I can read two scripts, understand four Indian languages and speak in two of them (badly), and those two are not my native tongues. I cannot speak in my native tongues. It's basically English at this point. These aren't dialects, those are separate. Picture like, Europe, but more, in terms of how many languages.
Everyone hates each other which is valid for the entire planet honestly.
In south india we have a lot of coconuts. Like a lot. There are so many coconuts you have no fucking idea guys you cannot escape the coconuts. I was nearly killed by a shower of coconuts when I was 5 I escaped by one second.
There are also cows. People will tell you that you are being racist when you say India has cows everywhere. But it's true. Two weeks ago I had the pleasure to be stuck in a traffic jam. Next to the street barrier thing (what divides a street im too drunk for this) I saw a huge bull fucking HUMPING a cow. The vehicles just had to move around them. They were having sex right there.
If you're a middle class Indian kid, your career options are: doctor, engineer, scientist, CA, lawyer, government official or family disappointment.
Needless to say, I was going to be doctor and am now instead family disappointment. I'm babygirling so hard it's insane. The prodigal son.
It's very ace-friendly and heterophobic in the sense that you are not supposed to be exhibiting any sexuality whatever in a respectable household. Just shut up and give virgin birth already. But be married. That's crucial.
Oh yeah gay marriage isn't legal trans people are constantly othered by society and/or given no respect whatsover and we're just all vibing here this is totally not why I'm finishing a small bottle of cheap wine on a thursday past midnight alone in my room.
Foreigners are like a zoo species you see them you're instantly concerned like what are they doing outside the TV screens and then either people are normal (rarely), they run up and take photos or try to slip into conversation (more often than you'd think, even I've been guilty of the conversation thing as a kid) OR they start talking about how 'this western culture is ruining our culture'. Which is fair but honestly both the 'cultures' these people are talking about usually involve incredible amounts of bigotry and are more similar than they think.
I think the lesson here is that humans just suck as a species. Except for you maggots. I love you all and I will defend you with my life.
THE CHAAT. THE CHAAT IS INSANELY AMAZING. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE CHAAT. I HAVE NO SPICE TOLERANCE SO I HAVE TO BEG ON MY KNEES FOR THE SPICES TO BE REDUCED BUT STILL. THE CHAAT. THE CHAAT, YOU GUYS. YOU NEED IT.
Sorry yes I'm normal. ALSO THE STREET DOGS. THE INDIES. THEY'RE SO LOVELY AND SWEET AND CHAOTIC AND I KEEP TALKING TO THEM. Once when I was crying I made the dog distress while and like five dogs that I didn't know came running to me and comforted me and licked me.
INDIAN DANCE MUSIC. I FUCKING LOVE IT IT'S INSANE. My family were elitist as fuck so I never got to listen to Bollywood music as a kid but it's AMAZING I'm so glad it exists. Bhangra too.
Beaches very very pretty hills very very pretty honestly the nature is fucking beautiful if you can just quickly pretend humans don't exist, which again is true of this entire planet. Yeah. Okay I'm so fucking drunk.
Yeah lots of diversity which is very nice when the humans aren't screaming at each other about it but the rest of the time it's very nice
The garbage and sewer stories? yeah they're all true im sorry
Traffic rules more like traffic suggestions amirite
Well, we still have far better healthcare access than america. so. there is that.
If you speak English well you'll be mocked and isolated. If you speak English poorly you'll be mocked and isolated. Honestly, just be rich. That'll fix it all.
All the conservatives hate each other and don't realise they're the exact same but in like different flavours.
Oh yeah we have auto rickshaws. Look them up. They're so much better than cars I don't get motion sick as easily in them. But the drivers all hate you and never want to take you anywhere.
Eyyyyyyyyyy it's so fucking fun here *drinsk more alcohol* I am so fucking not looking forward to college.
Please someone crowdfund me out of here let's all go chill in Alpha Centauri I've heard it's nice this time of the year.
I will, however, miss the casual live cow pornos. A true highlight.
[I got this peer-reviewed by my friend in India's top law school, just in case, because I'm too drunk and generally dumb. They say I will not be killed. And they've been on Twitter so.]
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Irrefutable legal proof y'all. I don't mean to offend anyone except bigots. Fuck you, bigots, if you're not offended then I've disappointed my community.
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inactivewattpadauthor · 3 months ago
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Raiden x Reader x Fujin: Brothers Share (Lemon)
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Time to continue from the lime I did while ago. We getting straight to it!
Warning: Threesome(?) They're taking turns idk if that counts since it's one at a time but regardless, SMUT ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Gods, s-slow down Fujin!" You could barely whimper from the amount of panting you were doing. Hell, it was getting hard to breathe at all. Fujin was fucking you a little too hard after all. Having you on your back and playing your flexibility so that your ankles were nearly over your head. All the easier for his cock to be angled correctly it punch straightly at your cervix, every hit making your vagina hug his length even tighter. As well as making you spill more.
"I'm sorry, love." Fujin quickly says. He does momentarily stop and press his forehead against yours. You could tell he was trying to be easy, but it doesn't last that long as he moans and goes back to thrusting hard into you.
You let him though. You knew he was just stressed. So supposedly letting him do this to you was the cure. Even if you most likely would split in two before Raiden has his go. You can see the other god sitting back on the couch, his large cock standing as he waits patiently for his turn. He does seem a little bitter he lost the brief argument of who got to take you first. It was a bit silly like normal boys arguing over a toy.
"And why should you go first, Fujin?"
"Because it was my idea to do this!"
Raiden only groans and steps back not wanting in on this petty argument.
Fingers gripping hard at the sheets, over stimulated tears ran down your face as you were about to cum again because of Fujin. "Fujin." You sniffled.
"I know. Just a little longer for me and I'll be done. Please." The handsome wind god spoke so caressingly for someone who was pounding your innards harshly. Slamming into you a couple more times, he buried himself balls deep into you before he finally cums. You tensed up at the throb inside you before you feel him release his semen into your womb. 
It was quite a lot. So much that when he pulled out, you leaked. The demigod wipes the pleasured tears from your face and kisses you sweetly. "I'm so sorry I was rough. I-"
"It's okay. I get it. It was fun." You immediately soothed him as he felt guilty, having your hand on the side of his face, thumb tracing his jawline softly. You both looked at each other with admiration.
"Done, Fujin?" Right. One more to go.
Fujin gets off you and sits to the side, looking at his brother in arms. "I am, Raiden." His eyes shifted to your recovering form and he was a little hesitant to leave. "I'll take my leave now. You two enjoy." He dresses back up before leaving. You got to smile kindly at him once more.
Now, you focused on Raiden as he steps to the bed. Gods, he is bigger than his brother. Both his height and his member only slightly. But could you even handle anymore rough sex? It took awhile for Fujin to cum. Is Raiden going to take longer?
"Y/n, do you want to rest?" Raiden asks. Raiden can be strict but he's still a good and fair man.
"N-No." You sat up, grunting a little as you were a bit sore. You grabbed your robe near the bed and put it on. "Just let me clean up a bit and I'll be ready for you."
Raiden nods and sits on the bed as you briefly walked out the room. Surprisingly, you weren't limping.
...
When you make your return to the room, you shook off your robe and stood before Lord Raiden.
"Are you sure you want to continue with this?" He ties his long white hair into a loose bun and asks for your confirmation once more. You nod, though you were a little anxious. Somehow, it's like he knew your thoughts. "I'm not going to be rough like my brother. You have my word."
He offers his hand, and you take it, the elder god consulter pulling you on his lap. Raiden doesn't want to be all over you like Fujin was, mindful of his size and the amount of energy you definitely lost after Fujin. You initiated the kiss. In some sort of perspective, you could tell he's shy. Large, awkward hands touching on your body but you irked him on by moaning softly.
Reaching down, you touched his cock and got it hardened and ready. Raiden is a busy man, so he forwards it and lifts you over himself before lowering you just on the tip to see how you'd feel. You went ahead and did the rest, moaning soft as you took in the rest of him until you were back sitting on his lap. 
Neither of you moved as you gasped a bit from your already aching walls being stretched again by something with a little more girth. "Fuck." You ended up whispering. Raiden lays back with his hands on your hips before slowly moving you up and down. You can adore his control of his strength, admittedly better than the other demigod, but you didn't know what's in Raiden's head.
By the Elder gods, he wanted to fuck you hard on his lap. Maybe harder than what Fujin did, but on the pure side of his mind, he will at least wait. Not until you had to open your mouth. "Stop holding back."
And within the next few moments, you two were off the bed. Raiden standing with you in his hold, thrusting up into you the same time he guides you down. You were back to the mess you were, getting very stimulated and out of breath. Only this time, you didn't even tell Raiden to slow down. You asked for it. 
"Quiet down." Raiden orders between his grunts. You try to. You really did try to. But with every feeling and thought of serving Raiden as a sex toy after his brother was making you lose it. It's likely he didn't even mean his command. Because how come when you moan loud you feel him twitch and thrust harder. The thunder god does like to be authoritative after all. 
Managing to wrap an arm around you and keep you held up to him, his free hand goes to his neck and he was starting to get more ruthless, his crotch slapping against you more and your insides getting more stuffed with his cock.
Maybe he is getting close to his orgasm. That's probably why his grip on your neck gets tighter along with more harsh thrusts. You made your wet cunt clench tighter around him, almost painfully but still felt overwhelmingly fantastic, so you could milk him. 
And finally, he does. Practically choking the hell out of you as he holds himself deep. He cums as much as Fujin does, so much overflowing inside you that it mixes with your own juice and spills out beneath you, onto his balls.
He catches himself strangling you and lets go of your throat, pulling out of you and laying you on the bed. You were definitely done for the night. 
Your vision was very blurred and you couldn't speak but you made out the door opening and closing. You thought Raiden had left so you let yourself pass out, not knowing he was only getting supplies to clean you up.
Knocked out until it was morning, you woke up, still sore. You winced to yourself as you sat up. You could've sworn you heard a flash and two people whispering something, and then another flash. Maybe just a dream. 
Looking to the side, you see a mug with a few treats sitting on the bedside dresser. Scooting to it you can see that the tea in the mug was freshly made and a little note beside the goodies.
"Thanks for spending time with us! ~Raiden + Fujin♡" ~~~~~~~~~~~~
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nekrosdolly · 1 year ago
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albert wesker hcs pt.2 (re1-re5) (18+)
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a/n; overall headcanons for whiskers himself! both nsfw and sfw, mostly nsfw. these are just my opinions and if they're ooc, i'm sorry. i'd like to say that im so down bad it's horrible and laughable. probably my longest post yet my computer is killing itself.
cw; nsfw content (i.e. kink talk, genitalia discussions and descriptions, mentions of dubcon and CNC, collaring mentions, cockwarming, impact play, light bondage, bdsm themes, dom/sub relationship)
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˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ hex codes ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖
applies to all variants
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ - overall skintone is #F6E5DE
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ - his eyes are #adcfe6
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ - his cock starts with #f6e5de, fades to #F1D8CD. tip is #ffc8b5.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ - his hair (pubes included) is #F0E2B6
₊˚⊹♡size and habits ₊˚⊹♡
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ - he's 8" in length, definitely can't close your fingers around it. thick vein on the underside.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ - 6'2 in height, more lean than muscular. towers over most.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ - definitely well groomed. not very hairy in general, thus he doesn't have very much hair to groom. cuts his hair (in the bathroom by himself mind you) every month.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ - re1 eats as needed, the healthy 3 times a day, and plenty of water to stay on top of his game. re5 doesn't have the need to eat or drink. he's no longer 100% human and his appetite diminished within months of taking doses of Uroboros.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ - reads a lot when he's not working. non-fiction, science-based literature to expand his knowledge. his wits came naturally, sure, but that doesn't mean he can't maintain them. at home, when he's truly by himself, he doesn't wear his sunglasses. he has an actual prescription pair that's a similar style to his sunglasses, just without the tint.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ - his guilty pleasures are romance novels. the vampire kind, specifically. he finds them entertaining though he often makes fun of the cheesier ones. when he stumbles across the occasional good one, he rereads it over and over again until he's worn out the spine.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ - he drinks wine. not one for beer, truthfully, but will drink some here and there. whiskey is his second choice.
⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙kinks⋆˙⟡♡⟡⋆˙
୨୧ - (re1) at the beginning of your relationship, he'll only do something if you ask him to. he's never thought much about sexual exploration given his long, *long* history of solitude. he refuses to do anything that might injure you- knifeplay, gunplay, impact play (light or hard), etc. sure, he'll tie you up if you ask, he doesn't mind. he plays into your desires.
୨୧ - (re1) the more he researches, the more he finds he likes. he buys some ribbon to bind you with- the flimsy kind you can get out of quickly should you need to. he loves pink on you. he only binds your wrists together, nothing too intense. maybe he blindfolds you, uses a toy on you, or overstimulates you. consent checks regularly, as well. you use safewords should you need them.
୨୧ - (re5) fully established kinks. he's less human and less rational, but he knows to respect your boundaries. he leaves bite marks all over you and demands that you don't cover them up with makeup or clothing. he likes owning you. you're given a collar, of which you can put on or take off as you please, but during which you are fully submissive to him and whatever he wants you to do.
୨୧ - (re5) consensual nonconsensual (cnc) is his favorite. of course, you have to be wearing your collar for him to take advantage of you. safewords are a must for the both of you. he's never submissive, definitely a hard dom. he doesn't feel the need for knives or guns, but he does love impact play. loves shutting up your bratty mouth by slapping you and manhandling you. he's switched to handcuffs instead of ribbon if he deems them necessary.
୨୧ - (re5) since Uroboros has diminished his humanity by a good chunk, he's more animalistic towards you. aside from marking you up, he's obsessed with breeding. adores cumming inside you until you're leaking it. he knows you love it just as much as he does. at some point, it becomes routine. "such a slut. can't go a day without being fucked full of cum." he degrades you lightly, nothing that would genuinely hurt. simple things i.e slut, whore, toy, doll, dumb, stupid, etc.
༘⋆✿ favorite positions ༘⋆✿
๋࣭ ⭑ - (re1) he likes seeing your face. he loves watching your face twist and contort with the pleasure he gives you. adores being able to see all of you, all of what he does to you. eye contact drives him crazy. if you're blindfolded, he won't finish until you're done. he'll ask if he can take your blindfold off between kisses to your face.
๋࣭ ⭑ - missionary is a must. your first time with each other is missionary- the romantic first time you'd see in movies where he takes his time to make you feel valued. the lotus position is another one he likes if you're going to be on top. he's okay with you riding him too, if you really want, but he'd prefer to be the one in control.
๋࣭ ⭑ - if you both aren't feeling sex, he loves getting you off by having you sit on his face or using his fingers on you. he doesn't need anything in exchange either. he's found that he doesn't like receiving head, as he finds it to be degrading towards you, and that's the last thing he wants. but if you insist, he allows it. he mutters praises as you take him down to the base, swallowing around him in an attempt to not gag.
๋࣭ ⭑ - mutual masturbation is something he's weak for. he loves watching your hand try to fit around him as you stroke his cock so eagerly, his fingers buried in your weeping entrance.
๋࣭ ⭑ - (re5) he prefers less intimacy, not like how he used to. he thinks it's too human, something he's made quite clear that he's not anymore. he'll fuck you just about anywhere. he prefers doggy with his arm around your neck, keeping you in a chokehold. bonus points if you beg him to breed you in this position.
๋࣭ ⭑ - what he gets, he'll give. you give him head, something he's come to enjoy, he'll give you head with the same enthusiasm.
๋࣭ ⭑ - cockwarming is a must. prefers it while he's either reading or working at his desk. sometimes, he'll make you read to him and thrust up into you occasionally so you stumble over your words. when he gets impatient, he pins you down and fucks into you until he comes at least twice inside of you.
๋࣭ ⭑ - wearing your collar? he'll fuck you while you're cuddling. spooning is preferred, but whether you're sitting on his lap, lying on top of him, or him on top of you, he's putting his cock inside you. very rarely does he do slow and soft, but if you're both tired, he'll be careful with you. he loves sitting you in his lap, his forceful grip on your hips, and moving you like a ragdoll. superhuman strength pays off in situations like this. his fingertips leave bruises that make his cock twitch whenever he sees them.
˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ pet names ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗
𓆩♡𓆪 - (re1) calls you darling, dearest, dear, little dove, dove. adores praising you and could for days on end. (i.e. "that's it, dear, you're doing so well for me. are you alright? should i stop?)
𓆩♡𓆪 - (re5) calls you pet, dear, bunny, darling, slut, whore, dolly. praises and degrades you. (i.e. "what a good fucking whore, taking my cock so well. you were made for taking my cock, my personal whore. i'm going to ruin you for anyone else." )
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luminouslywriting · 5 months ago
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Ooh, here's a thought! How do you think the mota boys might react to discovering the readers has tattoos, whether it's just one or multiple? 👀
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Hi Steph :) Sorry this has taken so long, so hopefully you enjoy haha! I adore you! Reminder that my requests are open and I don't mind spam!
Cut for length, more under the cut, some spice sprinkled in:
Bucky Egan:
-This man?? He is immediately turned on by the sight of tattoos and has such a deep interest in them. He gets this grin on his face and wants to know more.
-He definitely gets off just thinking about tracing the tattoos with his tongue
-And he definitely wants to reenact those thoughts with you—there's a great deal of body worship and if he's in a serious relationship with you, he probably thinks about getting a tattoo that has something to do with you :)
Gale Cleven:
-I don't think that he's necessarily attracted to the tattoos....but he's interested in them. He's surprised but so respectfully interested.
-He wants to ask you questions about the significance of the tattoos, why you got them, what they mean to you—he's very interested in learning about your thought processes.
-He might occasionally kiss the tattoos after some sleepy sex as a tender and loving gesture
Robert Rosenthal:
-He likes to trace your tattoos in the shower and in the bath and while you're just laying next to him. The first time that he saw them, he absolutely gets this dreamy expression in his eyes.
-He loves the tattoos because they're a path to the innermost of your thoughts and things that you love
-And if you get a tattoo that relates to him in any way?? Consider him yours forever...if not evidenced by the expressions of love, then by the way that he's sinking to his knees and about to be a munch to show you what he means
John Brady:
-The most surprised and also secretly really interested?? He has a guilty pleasure of thinking about you completely naked and taking polaroids/photos of you and your tattoos
-You're gonna have to work hard to get that information from him so that you can do that....and those photos are dearly loved by this man
-Also really big on body worship, especially around your tattoos, during sex
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velvetvexations · 4 days ago
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I have nothing against op but "sucks that trans women are having to support trans men :/" is just wild. When 90% of posts about transmisogyny end with "and that's why trans men suck", who is really putting the conversation about transmisogyny on hold for trans men? Probably the people who keep making transmisogyny about trans men??
Queer discourse always sucks, it sucks that members of our own community always have to defend each other against each other, but it's also kind of our responsibility to defend each other and anyone who's not a complete asshole will get that. So to be like "I'm sorry that you with your higher concerns have to debase yourselves for little ol us" is weird!!
I get your point and agree with it, but I do think you're reading a bit much into the post. I understand that they were framing it as it being a burden trans women are shouldering, taking away time and energy that could be spent on their own specific issues. You read that correctly. Nonetheless, I feel there's a broader context to take into account.
Transmascs are bombarded with messaging that makes quite a lot of them need transfems to have to tell them that no, they're not misogynistic for existing, and those transfems then have to use their relative authority in the discussion as the people claimed to be the Most Victim to shoot that shit down. I don't consider that a burden on me, but rather an exhausting and frustrating situation to be in for transmascs having to rely on the transfems vocally in their favor to tell people to knock it off because their own voices are diminished and it puts them in a very demeaning position.
So I think all that plays a part in the OP's feelings which I find understandable and coming from a place of more than just "it sucks trans women are having to show solidarity." It sucks having to go to your sister and ask her to get your bullies to leave you alone. It makes you feel guilty for relying on her and it makes you feel less powerful for not being able to do it yourself.
I think in retrospect I really regret not having added anything to it because you are right that solidarity should be the default expectation and I don't want transmascs to feel like their problems are a burden. I love my brothers and it's my sincere pleasure to advocate for them.
Truthfully, if not for this discourse I would be just about useless to the world. I can't advocate for my own issues, not only lacking the circumstances to even attempt doing anything IRL if I wanted to but also being horrifically triggered engaging with the outside world unless I ignore it as much as possible. When I used Reddit as my primary social media outlet I literally had lowkey PTSD from how many times I was accidentally exposed to news stories and had to be very careful to avoid them.
But so many people tell me I have a positive impact on them and their life. As much as I hate these circumstances, I'm happy to have found something I can do for others, and there's nothing wrong with needing your sister's help. <3
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faynthearted · 2 months ago
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is this a safe space? because I need to have a (positive) rant but I might seem a bit unhinged in the process
but please, for the love of god, if you're a tianshan and/or He brothers fan and you're dying from the lack of 19 days content lately, let me put you on to something.
I've been trying not to talk about it because this show is a guilty (and nostalgic) pleasure of mine, but for the last week or two I've been obsessively rewatching teenage mutant ninja turtles (2012)
HEAR ME OUT. 🫵🏼
it's a nickelodeon show, yes, I know, but please. hear me out before you make a face, lol!
tmnt is one of those shows that had an established fanbase before its release so not only is the quality of the animation excellent, but the voice actors and writers do such an amazing job. the plot is well-planned and intentional, the show gets notably better as it goes on because of its growing success with its audience (it gets very obvious budget increases for each season lol), and the relationships. oh my god the characters' relationships. they're so top tier.
if you know me from my tianshan fics, you know that I'm obsessed with strained, resentful, angsty relationships that slowly improve as the characters learn to trust each other while experiencing strife and mutual trauma. it's practically the foundation of tianshan, and it's also the definition of the brother-brother relationship between raphael and leonardo in tmnt. and it's so fucking delicious every single time.
I don't want to spoil too much in case anyone actually reads this post and decides to watch tmnt for the first time, but basically at the beginning of the show (and in all other adaptations of tmnt, as far as I'm aware) raphael resents the fact that leonardo is made the leader of their team. they butt heads all the time, they can never agree, raph is a stubborn/reckless hothead and leo is (occasionally) an insufferable, self-righteous golden child in their family. they’re literally red vs blue — their dynamic could not be more oppositional.
but at the same time, they're each other's right-hand man??? it's complicated. as the two oldest(?) siblings in the family (as well as the most skilled siblings), they kinda need each other and they hate that they do — at least raph does. and for a while, their relationship goes up and down over and over again until bam — ✨trauma✨. and I won't spoil what the trauma is. but it's so fucking delicious. the cinematography and voice acting of certain scenes in the season finales keep me up at night
for a nickelodeon show, I'm impressed by the depth of the plot and characters. it's very reminiscent of the complexity of atla's plot and characters. and yes, I've only mentioned raph & leo's relationship so far, but that's only because I tend to hyperfixate on two characters in every fandom I'm in, lol. but all the characters are so meaningful and the brothers' relationships with each other make me want to slam my head against concrete because it makes me feel so much. especially raphael and michelangelo's relationship, too. iykyk.
the show is so silly but also so angsty and also so stupid but also so sincere. the vibes really do remind me of 19 days in so many ways. the boys in tmnt are 15 years old, much like the boys in 19 days. michaelangelo is basically jian yi and raphael is basically guan shan. leonardo is kinda like zheng xi, if zheng xi was more assertive and expressive. but no one's like he tian, lol. sorry. he's a beast of his own. (unless, maybe, another character named karai is comparable to him? you tell me).
anyway. whatever the voice actors, writers, and animators were getting paid throughout the show's production wasn't fucking enough. there was clearly so much heart put into the show because tmnt has been a beloved franchise for a long time and nickelodeon was not messing around when they decided to take it on.
another bonus point is that the episodes are only 20ish minutes long, there are 20+ episodes in every season, there are 5 seasons, and the show is completed. you won't be left on a cliff hanger. you can binge to your heart's content like I've been doing. and usually the season finale episodes are longer than the normal ones (they're split into two parts), which always means shit goes down. god it's so fantastic.
if you decide to watch tmnt and know nothing about it, I recommend you do not seek out spoilers. because there are many spoilers and plot twists. push through the cringe and silly moments (much like we sometimes have to do with 19 days lol) and eventually you'll get to the heart of the characters/plot. and my god, it's so worth it!
tmnt was the first fandom I ever wrote fanfic for, over a decade ago. I was watching it as episodes were being actively released on a weekly basis. and it's been so long since I've touched the tmnt fandom, so it feels like I'm watching the show for the first time again. I only have vague memories of significant plot points/scenes, so it's been such a ride to slowly remember how everything plays out. and I'm kicking myself for not rewatching tmnt sooner, because I clearly forgot how special it was to me at a certain point in my life!
the show is so feel-good and relaxing (but it does have its stressful moments, don't get me wrong). if you've got time to spare, give it a shot and let me know what you think! I'm only at the beginning of season 3, so I'm still working through the episodes myself! :)
if you want to know where you can watch it for free, DM me! <3
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