#they're my Blorbos™

[strqyr]

Me just chewing on the Summer working with Salem theory. Just... As someone else pointed out Summer is the only stepmother we've seen in the entire show about fairytales. And very specifically Yang has both abandonment issues and the family absolutely imploded when Summer died or "died". Bonus that's messed up points: Raven at least occasionally visits as a raven. I'm all for this theory because oh it makes sense and it finally puts the spotlight on the family implosion.

More on the whole Summer Rose possibly joining Salem makes the whole STRQ situation stupidly complex - Yang and Ruby nearly ended up Grimm chow because went looking for Raven. Qrow saved them - but given Raven's semblance she possibly could have also. Or what I'm saying is that I'm considering the option that Raven's reintroduction to the narrative is her bailing out RWBY after they come across Summer working for Salem. Because Raven is extremely set up for high powered evac from nowhere.

my mind always goes back to red like roses part ii bc with every new revelation that make the picture just a little bit more clearer, the more relevant it becomes. i made a sacrifice but forced a bigger sacrifice on you is often read as "summer took a risk going against salem and died trying to end this war once and for all, and thus the weight of being the simple, more honest soul fell on ruby" but reading it in the light of summer working with salem, and it becomes "summer made a sacrifice by essentially faking her own death and never making any contact with her family, perhaps hoping that one day she could return to them when it's all over, but in doing so forced ruby, the little girl with silver eyes, her own daughter, into the spotlight" which i find 100x more interesting characterwise.

and god is the reveal going to have an impact on the whole family; the comparisons between summer and raven are apt bc so far, they could have not been spoken more differently about, but the more the curtains get peeled back, the more similar they become (not the same, never the same, but i do think summer and raven are more similar to each other than even they themselves may think). and it's so interesting bc we know how the family was affected after summer's alleged death (at least from yang's perspective) but nothing after raven left other than they all eventually moved on and what tai said about it doing a number on their family (which rings odd when the focus has been more on how they were handling things post-summer's 'death' rather than raven's departure).

the bridging of the gap between heroes and monsters is already well on its way; a world is a lot more complex than a simple black-and-white morality might suggest, being a hero and doing good doesn't equal never failing, people you trust or don't trust can both be right about one thing and wrong about another, everything that ruby is going through mirrors plenty of villains, it's just a matter of perspective, etc; finding out that summer, the best of the heroes the world has to offer, is working with salem is definitely going to speed things up even further.

i'm not willing to try and predict when raven is going to come back properly (i.e. excluding potential summer flashbacks) bc, well. she's kind of unpredictable. like, her first appearance was 'foreshadowed' by yang talking about her family to blake, but that was as much about summer as it was about raven, and what it left us with was "yang is searching for her mom", not "her mom is going to drop in out of nowhere to save yang."

like the setup is there, the warrior in the woods made it clear—"next time you enter the woods, you're on your own." -> "i knew you'd still come to my rescue." is not being subtle—but it could also do with summer potentially going to ask for raven's help during her final mission that took a turn, and. ya know. "promises are like birds; they taste great, but always escape." or something like that. idk.

i jinxed myself not so long ago by saying that i don't think any of my long running, serious theories are going to get proven or debunked this volume and now i've been told to buckle up and the strq brainworms are having a unannounced party that has kept going way past into the quiet hours.

like. ten years of waiting and i might actually get all of team strq in the same episode this saturday? trying to keep my expectations in check but also i might just cry.

[djevelbl]

Chat what're we feeling about a modern dance academy Inky Mystery au based on my own experiences in a dance academy for like. A decade+????

[emile-hides]

Mavis: I can fix him.

Zeref: She can fix me...

Juvia: He can fix me!

Grey: I can’t fix her.

Levy: I can fix him

Gajeel: I can make her worse.

[starcurtain]

I wish everyone collectively understood aventurine’s character like you…things would be so much easier! I genuinely don’t understand how people keep getting his motivations wrong??? Could it be because some of the most popular Aven fanfics were written prior to his release? That could have contributed to some of the takes we tend to see about him…thoughts?

I struggled all day to come up with a concise way to answer this and couldn't think of one, so here, have a long-winded ramble:

I don't think early fic writers have much impact in the situation with Aventurine's character now, since most people can look at when a story was posted and go "Oh, this was before we had ____ information."

I think that Aventurine's problem is being a male character in a gacha game. Gacha game characters are designed to sell. Hoyo can sell female characters very, very easily. Give her huge tits and a visible underwear strap and you're good to go. I love all my guy friends, but I'm not gonna sugarcoat it: straight men are not the hardest audience to please. Hit a particular fetish (feet, spandex, dommy mommy), and you're gucci.

Nah, we all know why Jade's trailer is Like That.™

Male characters in gacha are harder to sell because women as consumers are a little harder to predict. Does every woman want a tall, ripped hunk? Shit, no, small cute boyish models like Aventurine are selling better now? Why?! Would a bad boy be more popular than a nice guy??? It's harder to account for women's tastes, especially because they are often (a little) less visually-oriented.

Hoyo is good at what they do though, and they've figured out that male characters sell very well when they possess at least one of two specific traits:

Endearing vulnerability/helplessness

Gay ship tease

Give a character both, like Aventurine? They might as well be printing money.

That sound you hear is Hoyo's stock prices rising.

So, from the very beginning, Hoyo is incentivized to create a character that appeals to people, a character people will want to crack their wallets open for. And they achieved this, first and foremost, by giving Aventurine traits that female players (in particular, but men too), find especially appealing: emotional and physical vulnerability.

We see Aventurine's pain. We sympathize with his grief. We identify with his struggle to make meaning of his difficult life. He's our woobie, blorbo, babygirl, whatever the hell they're calling it now.

He can't hide his suffering anymore. He's on the very edge. He's a dude in distress. He's surrounded by enemies! He misses his mama! He's been betrayed! No one understands him like you do, dear player!

The ultimate feeling evoked is: He needs to be saved.

When people talk about male power fantasies, I think they forget that women can experience them too, and "Emotionally vulnerable man that only I (or my favorite character) can fix" is actually a female power fantasy.

And from there it's really easy, right: the people who shell out cash to buy warps for their harmed-husbando feel like they've saved him; the people who are into mlm ships look for the nearest hot dude to be the savior Ratio was waiting for his time lol.

Morally and intellectually, this type of deep-down-golden-hearted, emotionally-wounded male character is very easy to digest. There is nothing to dislike about this type of character or role in the story: this character is a good guy who has just gone through so many terrible situations, whose victim status makes him endearing, and whose lack of agency means that any of the questionable or downright bad things he does are always the result of someone else forcing his hand, and never something he would have chosen himself.

His motivations are always clear and consistent: get free, heal, and live happily ever after.

Insert the Wreck-It Ralph meme: "Do people assume all your problems got solved when a big strong man showed up?" But to be fair, a big strong man did kind of solve Aventurine's problem, so--

Anyway, it's simple. It's straightforward. Morally, it's pretty cut and dry, black and white: Aventurine is our hero, which means everyone dictating the course of his miserable life is evil.

Hoyo is not remotely discouraging people from literally buying into this emotional appeal.

And trust me, I get it. I'll be the first to admit that hurt-comfort is its own entire genre in fandom because it is so appealing. People eat up Aventurine's tragic backstory like candy! The idea of watching a character go through hell at the hands of bad guys just to finally find a happy end is like the definition of everyone's favorite story.

In fact... people love Aventurine's suffering so much, they have invented whole new ways for him to suffer that aren't even in the game.

This is where we get all the headcanons that Aventurine was a sex slave, every single person he meets hates him because of his race, the Stonehearts are executioners holding knives to his throat, Jade enslaved him to the IPC with a lifelong contract, his material possessions belong to the company, the IPC is forcing him to take only the most dangerous missions where he is being required by his evil jailers to continually put his life on the line... You name it and I promise you, I can find a fanfic where Aventurine suffers from it. 😂

Bro can't even sleep in on his day off; life is so hard for this man.

Being serious: if the game is telling us that Aventurine is a victim... Why not make him the perfect victim?

Why not envision an Aventurine with no freedom, who bears no responsibility for any of the horrible situations he is in or any of the dubious things he does?

It's so natural to like that version of Aventurine, so appealing to see a totally powerless underdog use his own wits and charms to claw his way up to freedom. Or, if you're the kind who really relishes angst: It's even appealing to see Aventurine lose more. To delight in fics where he loses his wealth, where the IPC punishes him for past crimes while he's powerless to stop them... (I assure you, this is many people's cup of tea and the fanfics prove it!)

Ultimately, there's nothing wrong with liking characters who are exactly this straightforward! It's completely fine to embrace characters that are intentionally written to be morally above-board, whose primary role in the story is to generate angst by being a good person who suffers, or those characters who never show unlikable traits, bad decisions, or contradictory actions.

The problem is that that's just not who the game is telling us Aventurine is.

Hoyo may be capitalizing off people who love to envision poor Aventurine still living his life as a slave... But the game also needs to tell a complicated enough story overall to appeal to people who don't care about this specific husbando--Aventurine's role in the actual game's plot has to be interesting enough for almost everyone to appreciate it, not just Aventurine's simp squad. (Don't get mad, I'm in the simp squad with you.)

So his character doesn't stop at just being a pure-hearted victim who is still waiting to be saved.

Aventurine is not that easy to label, and I think the biggest struggle in this character's fandom right now is between people who prefer the even-more-angsty, still-a-slave Aventurine versus people who want a morally grey, self-destructive character instead.

To me personally, while I greatly understand the appeal of fanon!Aventurine and the joy of a really juicy angst fic where characters lose it all, I think that missing out on the depth that canon is suggesting would be a real loss on the fandom's part.

The character motivations that Aventurine shows in the game are complicated. They cancel each other out. They're basically self-harm! He makes almost every situation he's in worse for himself--on purpose.

He is a good person, but also a person who has done unspeakable things. He does have morals, but he's not above allowing those who don't have them to use him to their advantage.

He's both the victim and the victor. He's his own worst enemy. He's a lost little boy who's been making terrible decisions for himself since he was like eight years old, and a grown ass man who is barely managing to fake his way through an existence that destiny is not letting him quit.

This kind of character is a lot harder to embrace. He's done things that most people would find appalling--like willingly joining up with the organization that let his entire race be massacred. He's invented a whole new peacock persona to frivolously flaunt riches he doesn't even care about (Poison Dart Frog Self-Defense 101). He actively plays into racist stereotypes about his people to manipulate others through their preconceived expectations. He's made a mockery of his mother's and sister's hopes and dreams by endlessly trying to throw his own life away.

He has flaws! He bet everything he had on a ploy without doing his homework to find out if the people he was risking his life for were even still around. (Maybe he already knew, and couldn't bear to admit it, even to himself.) He's intentionally off-putting and obnoxious to everyone he meets (Poison Dart Frog Self-Defense 102). He terrifies everyone who gets close to him by (seemingly) carelessly throwing himself into the jaws of death without the slightest provocation.

He knowingly allows the IPC to exploit his power and talents for profit. Did everyone forget that his role in the Strategic Investment Department is asset liquidation?! Like, his actual day-to-day job is ruining people's lives. Canonically, Aventurine kills people when his deals go bad.

His motivations change off-screen in two lines of story text. We're told in one line that his biggest reason for joining the IPC was to make money to save the Avgin, then in the next line we find out that's impossible. And... then what? What motivations does he even have now? The whole point of his character arc from 2.0-2.1 is that he was on the edge of giving in to utter despair and nihilism because he couldn't even perceive a single reason to stay alive. He has no purpose in life before Penacony, and that didn't start with the Stonehearts at all??

People keep saying Aventurine was held in the IPC by golden handcuffs, but how do you tie down someone for whom profit is meaningless? What can you offer to a man whose only desire is to bring back something already lost forever? How do you imprison someone whose only definition of freedom is, canonically, death?

Working for the Stonehearts is obviously not healthy. But that's why Aventurine was doing it--because taking dangerous missions allowed him to put himself at risk. The job that he originally pursued hoping to save his people became a direct means to self-harm, and the IPC's only real role in that was just happily profiting off the results.

The journal entries for Aventurine's quests are there deliberately to tell the player what is on his mind, and none of it has to do with escaping from his job:

Like... Work is the least of this man's problems.

At really the risk of rambling on too long now, he's also just a massive walking contradiction:

Aventurine is among the most explicitly religious characters in the game, yet he's one of the only people in the entire game that we have ever seen actively question his people's aeon.

You might be tempted to think Aventurine's risky gambles with his life as an adult are a result of giving up after finding out about the Avgin massacre... Butttt no, Hoyo makes sure to tell us that even at knee-high in the Sigonian desert, Kakavasha was already willing to risk himself in a fight to the death against monsters because even back then he found his own life to have less value than a single memento.

He's the "chosen one" who will lead his people to prosperity... except they're all dead.

He's explicitly suicidal... andddd also a pathstrider of Preservation.

He wants to die... He doesn't want to die. He wants to make it end, yet goes to staggering lengths to continually survive. (Every plan risks his life on purpose--but every plan's win condition is also to live.) He life is the chip tossed down, but his hand is trembling beneath the table. When faced with an otherwise unsurvivable situation, Aventurine literally became a winner of the Hunger Games. He beat other innocent people to death with his own chain-bound hands just to come out alive.

He knows the IPC failed the Avgin and left them to die... and he still willingly sought out a position of power in their organization. Maybe he really is after revenge... but maybe not.

He starts his journey in the IPC with a truly noble goal in mind: to help his people using his newfound wealth and power. He's a good guy who did genuinely want to save the Avgin and repay all those who helped him. But once it became clear he was too late, once it was obvious he would have no use at all for that monetary wealth and power he risked his life to get... What did he do with it? Unlike Jade, we don't see him over here donating to orphanages. (I'm not that heartless; I'm sure he does actually do a lot of good things with his money on the side, but the point is that the game does not show us that--it shows us, over and over again, Aventurine putting on a wasteful, over-indulgent persona toward wealth. We've supposed to feel how meaningless money is to him, how meaningless everything is becoming to him.)

He outright refuses to use underhanded tactics or to cheat at gambles, which is meant to show us that's he's more morally upright than his coworkers. There's an entire exchange where he says that he'll never stoop to using manipulation the way Opal does. But... he doesn't have any issue fulfilling Opal's exact agenda. He was never remotely morally conflicted about denying the Penaconians their freedom by dragging Penacony back under IPC control.

He's willing to risk his own life, which is one thing--but he's also willing to risk other people's well-being. Topaz accuses him of constantly egging their clients on into dangerous situations; we've actively seen him shove a gun into Ratio's hands and pull the trigger with no care for how Ratio would feel about that on their very first meeting... Dragging the Astral Express crew into the entire Penacony plan in the first place was exceedingly dangerous...

To me, I just think it's vital to understand his character through the lens of these contradictions because they demonstrate the extreme polarity of Aventurine's life: from rags to riches, from powerless to empowered by multiple aeons, from willing to kill to survive to killing himself... He has quite literally lived a life of "all or nothing," and while he is the victim of many terrible situations out of his control, his arc as a character involves facing the truth of himself and the future his own actions are hurtling him toward.

Frankly, the Aventurine that canon is suggesting is a little annoying. You want to grab him by the shoulders, shake him, and say "Why are you like this?!" And he won't even have an answer for you, because he doesn't even know why he's still alive.

In the end, to me, this is so, so much more interesting. I can read an endless supply of hurt-comfort fics where Aventurine escapes the evil IPC and Ratio is there to fill the void in his life with the power of love and catcakes and be a perfectly happy clam online, but I want canon to continue to serve us this incredible mess of a man who constantly takes one step forward and two steps back.

Who is fully aware of his role as a cog in the grotesque profit-wheel of cosmic capitalism and still manages to say he never changed from the rags-wearing desert rat of the Sigonian wastes.

Who over and over again flirts with nihility but, ultimately, even if he has to wrest it from the grip of the gods themselves with bloody, chain-bound hands, chooses life.

[olderthannetfic]

Really wish that female characters weren't held to such extremely high standards.

I'm a writer and I follow a lot of writing advice blogs and no one really gives a shit how you write male characters (unless it's relevent to them being a minority, which is understandable) but whenever they talk about writing female characters, following their "advice" feels like I'm trying to defuse a bomb at gunpoint.

They can't be GNC or a tomboy or hate makeup/dresses/etc. or else they're a "pick me" or "NLOG" and they have internalized misogyny and that's bad. Unless of course at the end they overcome this horrible "character flaw" and get put in a dress and learn how to be a real, Proper Woman™. (And let me tell you, this one is really fun to see as a GNC woman. 🙄)

They can't be too polite, softspoken, or weak, because then they're a damsel in distress and submissive. But they also can't be rude, loud, or aggressive because then you're doing the "mean girl" trope which is bad and evil.

They can't wear skimpy clothing or be sexual at all. They should never seduce anyone, sleep around, or god forbid want to get naked in front of people, because if you do that you're sexualizing women for the male gaze and you're bad and unfeminist.

They can't fight with other female characters because then it's a "catfight" and it's misogynistic, because I guess women always get along and support each other (lmao).

And fandoms are no better. If a male character has ten thousand flaws people go "I don't care this is my babyboy blorbo man" but if a female character has a single negative or "problematic" attribute people go absolutely apeshit. But then if she doesn't have any flaws, she gets called a Mary Sue.

Women (and female characters) cannot do anything without someone hating us, huh?

--

TBH, it's not really more or less understandable about minorities. "Don't write extremely basic and egregious stereotypes with no depth" is a good rule. "Only write Good Rep" is not.

[lutiaskokopelli]

Fate Knows No One is available on AO3!

So I know I said I've been drawing a few things that weren't too spoiler-heavy, but they're all unfinished WIPs that I would like to complete before posting. So of course the first Outer Wilds thing I will post here actually is spoiler-heavy. In my defense, I really wanted to finish this thing because it had been rotting in my files for months and I just wanted to be able to stop looking at it and be done with it already FJSDMKLG

This post is spoiler-free, but the story it links to is definitely "do not read if you haven't played the game/already spoiled it for yourself" territory. You have been warned.

---

This fic's plot is very simple: sweet, nervous, never-wanted-to-be-an-astronaut Hal, gets the freaky statue experience instead of the one who would normally have it in the vanilla story.

If you know what the game's plot is about, you know exactly what this means. If you don't... Let's just say that the Protagonist™'s best friend who you usually talk to once and then may forget ever existed has been forced into main character territory, and that said Protagonist™ is forced into the role of sidekick at best. In both cases against their will.

Although the fact that this fic's title gives the acronym "FKNO" was purely accidental, do know that you can absolutely take it as a warning xD If you've read my other stories, you know already that these poor blorbos are going to suffer a lot. (but they'll be okay in the end I promise they will get all the hugs)

---

By the way, so far it's safe, but do know that DLC spoilers will be part of the plot eventually (even though "eventually" means "don't hold your breath it might take a year or ten").

[hilacopter]

Laughing and kicking my legs in the air full of whimsy

Can't wait for the leftists to hear about the Syrian civilians who are actively cheering for Israel to wipe out hezbollah because

!!! Shock of shocks, the terrorist organization does terror

I will be watching my tumblr with glee

Imma be honest I doubt this'll get them to self-reflect because since when have internet leftists listened to actual civilians and not their terrorist blorbos. Like we have actual Palestinians getting called race traitors by white Americans for not supporting the Glorious Revolution™ so I wouldn't be surprised if people just start shitting on Syrians, and maybe Syria would become one of the "problematic countries that are obviously nowhere as bad as Israel because they're still uwu noble savage arabs but we kinda hate them now because they're traitors to the Palestinian cause" like Egypt was a little bit.

[tododeku-or-bust]

Quick vent post

Okay so obviously there are more important things than my lil bitch and moan here but give me some momentary grace.

I will say it's crazy how when I got on here four years ago I was like "oh! A place where everyone shares their hobbies! And they're queer! I love and write fan stories too! I've never seen fanart! It's an art escape!" Yeah, I posted fanfic before, but I was new to Fandom™ as a collective. I thought we all just spoke over comments on FF.net. I didn't know how "/" or "slick" were used til I got here.

And now I feel like a hardened soldier and it's not like I did it on purpose lmao. I had to. I just wanted to write and post fun stories and talk about my blorbos with friends. Instead y'all reminded me in short order that fun isn't for the Black, and that was just the first thing 😭 I had to start learning real quick what the actual deal was here. I'll never regret becoming more aware, learning my own identity and how it relates to the world around me. I love educating myself.

I just hate that it has to be like this 😭 I hate feeling jaded, of being sad that I didn't know better. I hate that I have to suffer the chronic pain of racism even here. There is no escape. It must be nice to sit and look at the content of racist creators and feel zero qualms about participating. Instead I care about humanity and gotta watch my friends fight for it daily and everyone else treat them like trash. When does it end, when do we get to come here and start talking about fun shit 😭 Vent over. 👍🏾

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

me listening to my mom sing along with the songs on my steddie playlist: you have no clue. you have no earthly idea. you don't know that all these songs are about two fictional gay men. this one is specifically his song, and this one is the other's song. you have no clue that this song is the title of a fanfic that made me sob. you don't know that my pocket friends made this tswift song about them™. you have no idea that i've written this one and this one and this one into a fanfiction about a mixtape. you don't know that someone else did with this one. you think it's all just fun 80s tunes that you listened to when you were younger, but they aren't; they're about the blorbos in my phone.

[rillils]

post fall bucky having a fear of heights?? ive always thought that he'd be afraid of heights, like he wasnt afraid of it at all before his fall, go ask steve. but after falling?? he tries to hide it from steve, how scared he is.. and steve, bless his poor soul, he blames himself for not realizing sooner, he thinks he shouldve known, he couldnt possibly have. hes always seen bucky as this brave courage man, and bucky didnt want to ruin steve's image of him worse than he already think he did. and oh my fucking god

THE POST PLANE CRASH STEVE BEING AFRAID OF TIGHT SPACES?? BECAUSE IT BRINGS HIM BACK TO FEELING THE COLD SEEP IN THROUGH HIS VERY BONES WHILE HE GETS CRUSHED BY ALL THE WATER, ICE, AND DEBRIS?? DONT GET ME STARTED OH MY GOD

HONEY I FEEL LIKE YOUR LEVEL OF CRUELTY TOWARDS ME SPECIFICALLY IS REACHING DANGEROUS LEVELS HERE

but I get it, I getchu hon, sometimes we just gotta put the blorbos in a Situation™, that's how we roll.

but holy shit 😭😭😭

I mean god, Bucky-

imagine how tough it must be for him, every time they're on a mission, 'cause he's first and foremost a sniper, isn't he? and for him, that often involves perching on the roof of really high buildings, and keeping as still as possible for as long as necessary - and above all, keeping a steady hand, because what is a sniper supposed to be if not precise and lethal and reliable?

and factor in all the other possible contingencies, too! like having to bolt if he's spotted by the enemy, and having to climb back down in a rush. or helping chase after the bad guys from rooftop to rooftop. or when, god forbid, they have to jump out of a plane and parachute themselves to a certain site.

it's an absolute nightmare for Bucky, but he just keeps trying to tough it out, right? grit his teeth, push through even when his flesh palm is clammy with sweat, even when his stomach is churning and his legs feel like jelly, even when his hands start shaking despite his best efforts to hold them still. it's scary and mortifying all at once, and he can't bring himself to say anything about it to anyone, especially to Steve. because he knows Steve would try to suggest he take it easy and stay behind, while Steve himself is out there risking his neck, and the very notion makes Bucky feel sick.

so he's just desperately hanging in there, right?

until something happens. he's dizzy, his hands are shaking too bad, he flubs a shot, Steve almost gets killed because of it. Bucky snaps. this is the last straw. he's done.

I mean, imagine how it must tear. him. apart. how horribly it must hurt him to admit to himself that he can't go on like this anymore. because on the one hand, fuck it all to hell, he's supposed to be by Steve's side! watch his six, protect him, make sure he makes it home in one piece! it's what Bucky's been doing ever since they were kids, it's a fundamental part of who he is! to even imagine letting Steve walk into a fight alone - no, not 'alone', without Bucky - is unthinkable. it's like denying himself a basic need. like denying who Bucky is, what he feels he was born to do, a biological imperative.

but. on the other hand, the thought of putting Steve in danger, of Steve getting hurt (or worse) because Bucky couldn't do his job properly, is even more unbearable.

Steve counts on him, trusts him with his life - as he should be able to do, if they're going to be a team - but how can Bucky allow that anymore, now that he can't even trust himself? how can he be what Steve needs, if he's going to let him down when Steve needs him the most? how would he ever forgive himself if something happened to Steve because of him?

he barely holds himself together until they get home, and then he just, he breaks down. stumbles over to the couch, crumples in on himself, trembling, pale like a ghost, taking in big gulps of air like he'll drown otherwise. telling a worried Steve, who's crouching next to him in a heartbeat, "I can't do this anymore".

now Steve, he had noticed that something was off for a while now, and Bucky's words just confirm what he already suspected. he thinks, of course Bucky's sick of this, of course he doesn't want to fight anymore - god knows he's got plenty of reasons to want to leave all this shit behind.

Steve could never imagine what the actual issue is, here - not until he's trying to tell Bucky that it's his right to retire if that's what he wants, that of course Steve supports him, and Bucky interrupts him to confess, in between sobs, where exactly the problem lies, and how he fears he's no longer fit to accompany Steve on missions, 'cause he'd risk becoming a liability rather than backup.

CUE A WHOLE SHITTON OF FEELS because fuck, how long has Bucky been feeling this way, and how did Steve not realize it sooner, and the way Steve's face twists with guilt when he wonders where this fear of heights might come from, and gives himself the most obvious amd most fucking heartbreaking answer, and Bucky can tell that he's hurting and blaming himself and they're just BOTH hurting and blaming themselves and hfgskfjskks HONEY WE'RE SPEEDRUNNING THROUGH ALL THE STAGES OF GRIEF HERE HELP

no, but. they're gonna have an honest conversation about this, okay? painful, yes, but also liberating. they're going to air out some of that hurt, and actually let it heal out in the open for once.

I figure there's gonna be lots of bargaining first, on both parts, like Bucky arguing that he could still fight, just maybe stick to the ground instead, and Steve telling him that he doesn't have to, and really he'd be happier knowing that Bucky's safe at home and not forcing himself into dangerous situations, and Bucky grumbling 'cause oh how the tables have turned, and just, you know, trying to find a way to compromise.

I think, maybe this is how Steve first starts to really, genuinely consider retiring, himself. like, not just picturing it in a distant, wistful way, oh wouldn't it be nice if we could do that, etc - but really, really entertaining the idea. letting himself plan it out. talking about it with Bucky, even with Sam and Nat, giving himself the chance to consider another kind of life. after all, there are plenty of battles to fight in the world, and not all of them require fists and guns, right? and if he can fight those battles too alongside Bucky, then so much the better 💖

CLAUSTROPHOBIC STEVE THOUGH OMG

somehow the first thing that comes to mind is that one scene from CATWS, when he and Nat find Zola's computerized ass and he blows up the building, and they're stuck in a tiny hole under all the rubble until Steve gets them both out. I CAN PICTURE ONLY TOO VIVIDLY HOW FUCKING SCARY THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN FOR HIM, OH MY GOD

as somebody who shares that kind of phobia, may I submit to you one of the most obvious, most mundane monsters he might face: ELEVATORS. especially of the narrow, non-see through kind, where you're literally locked inside a metal box until it releases you from that torment. IF IT DOES. like honey the anxiety is real af okay

in the spirit of putting the blorbos in a Situation™, please picture them both in an old-fashioned elevator.

Steve hasn't mentioned his fear to Bucky, he's just been lucky so far, so he didn't have to bring it up. but the stupid thing is so slow, and the space inside is so small, and sure, Steve never minded being in Bucky's close proximity, but he can't stop thinking about getting the fuck out of there asap.

at some point the fucking thing stops, and oh good god they're stuck inside, and it's gonna take a while for help to come.

and Bucky, sweet, horny, unsuspecting Bucky, just makes a little joke about knowing just how they could pass the time until then, wink wink. he crowds Steve back against the already narrow wall, starts sucking languid kisses into Steve's neck-- and Steve's frozen, breathing in quick shallow breaths that could be mistaken for gasps of pleasure, holding onto Bucky with an iron grip because he can feel himself spiraling into panic, heart racing wildly, eyes darting from wall to wall like he can see them rapidly closing in on him, suffocating him, squeezing him in--

and it takes a moment for Bucky to realize what's really going on, but when he pulls back and sees Steve so terrified, hyperventilating and about ten seconds away from passing out, he switches into Protective Boyfriend mode like *snaps fingers*

he's like, "sweetheart, what's wrong?", and the second Steve gasps "out, I need to get outta here, now", Bucky springs into action and pries the elevator's door open with his bare hands, helping Steve climb out (the next floor was already into view) and following suit.

of course they're gonna talk about it (and realize that they should maybe stop hiding their respective fears from each other), and from then on... yep, they stick to stairs <3

[kyliafanfiction]

Victoria Dallon and Righteousness: An Incomplete Deconstruction

From everything I've heard and read, there was a lot of negative response to Victoria Dallon being the main character of Ward, when that was revealed. Lots of people obviously wanted Taylor, but even more, Victoria as MC didn't really resonate with a lot of the people who loved Worm so much - very different sort of MC.

Now, obviously, I wasn't in the fandom when Ward came out, I was still just loosely aware Worm existed and that the MC was a villain protagonist named Taylor Hebert. I wasn't even aware Amy Dallon existed, let alone Victoria!

So I don't know how I would have felt about it, but I'm willing to bet I wouldn't have been a huge fan. One, because I probably would have wanted Amy as the MC, because I'm willing to bet Amy still would have been my blorbo (though I don't believe the term blorbo existed when Ward was started) even coming into Worm blind, by the time I was done.

But two, because... even though I like Victoria (a lot), and would presumably still like her in this hypothetical scenario, I don't like her as Main character material. Because at the end of the day, the sort of archetype she represents is not one that I tend to care for.

It is not breaking new ground to say that Victoria Dallon, Glory Girl, is, in large part, a deconstruction of the Flying Brick/Superman type character. Worm has several deconstructions of that type of character, and Vicky is one of them. Her invulnerability is an illusion, and indeed, her whole schtick is the illusion, the 'Aura' (heh) of perfection and untouchability.

But the thing is... I don't, as a general rule, actually like the superman-type characters, in fiction. Your Captain Americas, your Supermans, your CW Supergirls - they're not really my type of character. Not because of their strength or 'invulnerability' or whatever, but because of their sense of self-righteousness, their righteousness, and the way the narrative tends to support and build up that righteousness. Obviously the wide world of comics is full of exceptions, but in the comics-adapted media I've seen, the 'Superman Type' character still tends to get away with always being right, with their moral rectitude being unquestioned in the end, with them getting to be the 'moral heart'. Whenever their code clashes with someone else's, theirs always gets to be right.

Once in a while the narrative will let them be wrong, but even then it's usually brought back around to them being right.

And Victoria Dallon has that righteousness in spades, in Worm. Her first introduction, of course, immediately exposes that this is at least somewhat an illusion. Interlude 2 has her do a police brutality and nearly kill a guy. Sure it's a Nazi, but police brutality is bad even if it's done to 'acceptable targets'. That shouldn't be a controversial opinion. And then Amy is called in to help Victoria maintain that illusion by healing the guy and leaving it his word against Glory Girl's and Panacea's. Again, another case that her righteousness is, in the Wormverse, a bit of an illusion.

And then in Arc 3, she arguably threatens some pretty disproportionate retribution for bank robbery. Again, the illusion of righteousness. And her insistence 'New Wave Doesn't Have Secrets' when we know full well from Interlude 2 that she sure as shit does have secrets from (most of) the rest of New Wave.

But for a deconstruction of a self-righteous character to be complete, that sense of self-righteousness needs to get the character in trouble. And that doesn't really happen for Vicky in Worm.* And everything I know about Ward suggests that her sense of 'I know what's right, my moral code is the Correct™ one all the time, I'm the good guy and that makes what I believe correct ipso facto' doesn't really go away or get questioned or undermined.

But notice that asterisk? Because the thing is, in a way, in Worm, her sense of 'I know what's right, I'll do what I think is right damn anyone else's idea of it, I'm the hero, those who oppose me are the villains, the monsters, and it's cut and dry' does actually get her in trouble cause her major problems.

But it's hard to talk about, because it happens in Interlude 11h. And talking about it risks looking like you're victim-blaming Victoria.

Now, I shouldn't have to say this, but I'm pretty sure if I don't, there's going to be people believing I think otherwise, but Victoria 113% did not deserve to have her brain altered, or to have what happens to her when Amy wretches her.

(Whether you agree with Wildbow's dubious insistence that rape was the intended reading all along, or think that it was meant to just be nonconsensual body modification/etc as a metaphor for sexual assault or whatever else, what happens is a horrific violation of Victoria's bodily autonomy ontop of the previous violation of her mind. It was bad. Victoria is a victim and Amy her victimizer here)

But, Victoria's sense of her own righteousness does sort of lead to both.

In Interlude 11h, Amy makes it very clear she wants Victoria to stay away from her, to not touch her. Now, Amy doesn't communicate what's going to happen because it's not like she, before the critical moment, was actively planning it to happen, so despite what some people have said, it's not a case of 'Fuck Around, Find Out', and people who unironically say that definitely need to get smacked around the head with a metaphorical two-by-four a few times, because that's a fucked up POV.

But, Amy still laid a boundary very clearly. 'Don't Touch Me!'. Tumblr, correctly, is very much a fan of the notion that 'no' is a complete sentence, that people are absolutely allowed to refuse hugs, that that all is part of bodily autonomy. That 'don't touch me' is an acceptable boundary, even with close family members.

Vicky, without hesitation, violates that boundary. She decides that her belief that it's okay to hug Amy, because she loves her (as a sister), because they're family, because she knows better than Amy what's right for her (as the whole first half of the scene is her trying to convince Amy to do what she manifestly does not want to do) takes precedence over Amy's boundary. Over Amy's belief about what's best for her. Over Amy's own wants and wishes.

Now this is entirely understandable - she loves her sister, she's afraid for her, she wants her sister to come back home, her sister is being chased by fucking serial killers, it's entirely understandable she doesn't want Amy running around on her own. And if she'd just stuck to trying to convince Amy with words, then that wouldn't be an issue. And... her brain wouldn't have been changed. At least not then. Maybe Amy snaps more completely later and does something, but that's a pretty deep hypothetical.

Now again, Vicky does not deserve this. This is not 'earned'. This is not 'FAFO'. But her sense of self-righteousness does indeed get her into trouble here. The one (hugging Amy) is a necessary antecedent to the other (Amy changing her brain).

Until the critical moment it happened, Amy did not want to do this. Hence the 'don't touch me'. Whether it was an errant impulse, an intrusive thought or her shard deciding to act on it's own to push her towards doing it, it happens. Amy does a very bad thing, and she has to own that.

To Amy's (perhaps minimal) credit, she immediately is horrified by what she did, and tries to fix it. To undo it. Understandably, Vicky says no. Her sister just violated her on a fundamental level, and her entire view of her sister has just been destroyed, because she's also finding out that her sister has been in love with her this whole time, and that of course makes her question everything else she thought she knew.

So she doesn't trust Amy enough to give her the chance to fix it.

Now, I'd like to believe that under other circumstances, say Scion suddenly shows up and turns S9 into paste, aborting the entire arc or something, that Victoria, once she has a few days to reflect, will decide to trust her years of knowing Amy, of loving Amy (as a sister) and trust her sister enough to give her the chance to fix it. Probably with some backup (trust but verify and all that), but still. Maybe that's wishful thinking on my part, but either way, that opportunity doesn't happen.

And in 11h, there's another place where her self-righteousness, her 'I'm the hero, anyone who opposes me is pure evil' mentality also ends up contributing, in a small way, to something else bad happening to her.

In her entirely justifiable anger at Amy, she says that Amy never deserved any of the defense, the benefit of the doubt, etc that Vicky gave her, vis-a-vis her father. That she 'exceeded' him in awfulness. This is of course manifestly not true - Marquis may not have meddled with minds, but his plethora of murders is still much worse - but Victoria isn't exactly speaking from a place of rational analysis here. She's beyond angry, and wants to say a thing she knows will hurt Amy the most. And, given her mental state in that moment, she might even believe it. I certainly doubt she has a firm understanding of Marquis's criminal career.

But, understandable, justifiable or not, it is another blow to Amy's incredibly fragile psyche. Another piece of 'proof' to Amy that she really is the monster she always thought she was. And confirmation of that fear of hers, and her surrender to it, is critical to the wretchification and rape/sexual assault metaphor (see above).

In Interlude 11h, Amy was ready, willing and psychologically able to undo what she did to Victoria. By the time she has the opportunity, she is in a very different mental state, and isn't willing to. Isn't really able to. Amy, rightly, gets shit for this from fans and from characters in-universe, and it was wrong of her to not fix Vicky, let alone what she actually does to her. But there was a moment when she could have fixed Vicky, and in part, the reason it doesn't happen is directly linked to Victoria's sense of righteousness.

Now, a good character beat to have when a righteous/self-righteous character suffers or otherwise gets into trouble because of that aspect of their personality, is for them to reflect on their mistake, to realize what they did was wrong (or at least, the incorrect choice), and to resolve to not let themselves always be so sure that their sense of moral rectitude is always... well, correct in the future. Not to the extent that they just forget they were hurt or betrayed or whatever, but at least understanding it was wrong and they should do better in the future.

But that doesn't really happen. Not in Worm, because Vicky has no story arc after being wretched. Even her being fixed at the end is entirely bound up with it being a conclusion to Amy's story arc.

Now, that could have happened in Ward, but it is rather hard to do when you're insisting that rape happened. Because IRL, there's a lot of baggage around anything that even smacks or looks like you're victim-blaming someone who was raped. Even suggesting that people shouldn't walk alone in dangerous places at night, or don't accept drinks from people you don't trust, for instance, is often met with 'no, just teach people not to rape' from some quarters. (Which is true but... exceedingly unhelpful).

Anything that even kind of sounds like you're saying the victim 'deserved' it, or that they 'brought it on themselves' or whatever is 'rape culture', and to be fair, there is a fuck of a hell of a lot of that IRL. There's a lot of people who really would rather blame the victim, IRL. And even for fictional characters.

But saying that the victim did things they probably shouldn't have done, that they made mistakes, that certain choices of theirs led to what happened to them is not victim blaming. Not inherently. The ultimate choice to victimize is with the perpetrator. Whatever else, it's Amy's fault what happened to Vicky, not Victoria's.

And if it hadn't been full on actual rape, it might have been possible to actually see that deconstruction of Victoria's righteousness through to it's conclusion. But once you make it rape, and decide to make that a centerpiece of the character's narrative, it's rather hard to discuss how the character's own flaws and mistakes led to it, at least not without looking like you're doing a bit of victim blaming, doing rape culture apologia or the like.

And so, even in the most charitable reading of Wildbow (which I am at this point never inclined to give him as a first choice, personally, but), it's fair that he might not want to deal with that and just... drops that little notion that he built in 11h.

Of course, it's entirely plausible that my reading of 11h isn't even remotely what he intended because at this point I'm almost inclined to believe that anything good about Worm was an accident. This is of course, unfair, but Wildbow's own patterns of behavior make it hard to believe him about his authorial intent, anytime, ever.

Regardless, to bring it back to the start of the post - this reality, this incomplete (to me) deconstruction, this failure to properly explore the failings of Victoria's sense of righteousness and belief in her own moral rectitude is why, Victoria Dallon, as she exists, is not a character I can really like as a main POV character.

There's a reason why Captain America is the MCU character that annoys me the most. Why Supergirl, on the CW show of the same name, is my least favorite of the main cast, generally (I do like Kara Danvers, but still, least favorite). Characters who are possessed of their own sense of righteousness, and with him the core narrative tends to agree with, are always the sort of characters that are going to rub me the wrong way.

People who fervently, unquestioningly believe they are the hero of the story, the good guy in the narrative, without ever asking 'am I in the wrong here, not just a little, but completely', who don't have doubts not about specific moral choices, but their entire moral standing, don't tend to be very appealing to me.

There's a lot of problems I have with Ward, and that I would have had with Ward as it unfolded if I'd been reading it life (presumably), and in the interest of full honesty, the biggest is and would have always been the handling of Amy, above all else, but this lack of correction of Victoria's sense of her own righteousness and the fact that by all accounts the narrative tends to support and agree with this sense she has, would definitely have been and indeed is, another factor that means I'd probably have ended up one of those people saying "Victoria was a poor choice for the MC of the 'sequel' to Worm."

And again, I understand why, once rape is settled on and made 'clear', why it doesn't happen, why the examination, the 'I fucked up' moment doesn't happen, but... still. I can't help but think that, and all that could have flowed from it, really should have happened. That it would have been more interesting. And why, to my mind, even if to no one else's, the real promise, the best possibilities of Victoria's character, will always be incomplete. Why she's never going to be 'Main Character' material to me personally.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Hi I have a question. How do I start writing?

Basically I've never written anything except a dnd backstory which at best offended all my forefathers cause of how bad it was. I had this idea for a character that I would like to try and create a story about but I'm struggling to even start.

Part of the problem is my add who I have to switch from distracted to hyperfocus™. I'm also scared everyone will hate it even though it would be my first writing thing ever.

Sorry to drop this on you and feel free to ignore it!

They probably will hate it, although they won't tell you to your face. It's going to be awful. Same as the first thing you ever drew was awful. Same as the first time you try to play guitar would sound awful. Here's my advice: stop asking for advice for a bit and start writing.

Don't get me wrong, you will need advice. Writing is a craft, and there are rules, and while the best works usually break those rules it is because they know what the rules are and why they exist and why their particular work needs to break them. You are going to need SO MUCH advice to write anything good.

But not yet.

The biggest mistake new writers make is paralyse themselves. They don't write because it's going to be bad, because they don't know what they're doing; they procrastinate by reading books about writing advice (which will be valuable to you later!) or by waiting for inspiration or by telling themselves they'll start writing when they're good at it, which is a trap, because you will only develop that awareness by writing.

Get an AO3 account, if you don't have one. Or an account with your fanfic site of choice (I recommend AO3 because the culture there is extremely positive and encouraging to new writers, 'say something nice or not at all' is the norm there). Write a fun coffee shop AU or something about your blorbos, whatever you want, whatever's fun. Write a handful of these for fun and no other reason. After a few, you'll start to see why some of the other similar stories are better than yours. You'll notice that they're doing things in a way you aren't.

Then it'll be time to ask what they're doing, and why. And you can start thinking about improving your craft.

But the first step is to start crafting at all.

[djevelbl]

LET'S GO I'M ON THE THIRD TIME CHANGE, 3 OR 4 MORE OF THOSE AND WE'RE DONE BABEYYYYYYYYY but I'm HORRIBLY eepy rn (didn't sleep last night. it's 4:30 pm rn) so I'll go take THE. BIGGEST eep anyone has ever ept and come back to it wITH A VENGEANCE

Ugh not me searching up color meaning and symbolism so my toxic men kissing soulmate one-shot can be accurate 🙃

[doodlesketchgirl]

your honor i can't "be normal" about my comfort characters. They're simply My Blorbo™ that lives in my head rent free

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

Rilian Royce + Roycegaryen siblings? I feel bad for making them an only child but c’est la vie. Or Mabel Waters +/x any ocs?

(Shhh, I am the outlier here by giving Rhea & Daemon multiple kids & that's so many moving pieces. Do as I say & not as I do by keeping your shit simple)

Welcome to the world, forbidden 4th Roycegaryen sibling I sometimes joke about in unhinged AUs! Honestly so much would change for Rillian's story by having these 3 as their siblings & who's to say if that's good or bad. At the very least, they are protected 😌. Also, Lady Rhea really said "I cannot have a straight child, but I can make them on the same sexuality spectrum twice. And I can make the 2 youngest ones look like me." Iconic of Mother™ .

Also, I'm gonna be so real, I'm not 100% sure where they fall in the sibling birth order, so I'm gonna do my best while also maybe being a little general.

Ella, congrats on having the sister (more or less sister, anyway) that you always dreamed of. They aren't named "Rhaena" after blorbo from your family history, but they're cool! Those 2 are definitely out in the training yard doing archery & sword fighting, & it's honestly really silly & sweet & wholesome & Rillian will get their own personal OC for Ella's Age Of Heroes Self-Insert Fanfic. Also, Ella will tell the kitchen staff if Rillian asked for no pickles. And every single gremlin mode crime they want to do will not only be encouraged, but joined in on.

Yorick, the guy who gives Rillian the freedom to not have to be Lady of Runestone at, like, 14/15 or having to get immediately married 🩷. There's obviously the issue of "he grew up in King’s Landing & then went off to war & wasn't back permanently till he was nearly 18," but honestly I don't think that would hinder a whole lot. For how reserved he is, Yorick does love his family & would make sure he bonds with Rillian in whatever capacity they need. He's fiercely loyal & protective & maybe a little unwell about it, but you don't escape your dad being Daemon Targaryen unscathed (everyone just he glad he picked up one of the 4 redeeming qualities). They would also side-eye & judge people & be cunty together & that's peak Rycegaryen Sibling bonding imo.

Pictured, Yorick & Rillian discussing their experience being on the ace spectrum with only pseudo-medieval language & coming to the conclusion that everyone else is wrong for not finding loyalty easy/thinking premarital celibacy is hard:

Aemon & Rillian would be a really interesting dynamic, I think. They're both carrying around a lot of the same trauma & baggage & Little Haterisms. They're both more quiet types & prefer being alone. They are coexisting silently in the same room & that's hanging out for them. I'm not sure what would happen with Rillian when Aemon is sent to foster with the Manderlys, which I think is in large part due to my not being sure where we're falling un the sibling order, but y'know what, let's jut say they go to be Jeyne's cup-bearer like in their canon. Gotta keep something since for the most part they've got a trio of very tall people surrounding them & protecting them from both harm & their dad!

When Aemon gets back to Runestone, I think that they'd be able to pick up pretty easily from where they left off. Rillian's extra-large goth brother ready to obliterate someone for them if they ask, & Aemon's much smaller sibling ready to show him a cool animal they saw that morning. It'd be very similar to the "we are avoiding getting overwhelmed by people & we are quietly showing each other our hobby" relationship that he has with Helaena I think.

Also, congratulations Rillian Royce for having your pick of dragons to get brought for a ride on. New animal to pet achieved!

[walrus150915]

Heyheyhey I wrote a post-canon fic about Ambrosius freaking out because I like to see my blorbos suffering

Also there's Goldenheart being a married couple™. And they're kissing (a lot)

(There's gonna be two chapters, with the second one coming out in two days!!!!)

(Tagging @ambrosius-goldheart as promised!)