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starcurtain · 6 months ago

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I wish everyone collectively understood aventurine’s character like you…things would be so much easier! I genuinely don’t understand how people keep getting his motivations wrong??? Could it be because some of the most popular Aven fanfics were written prior to his release? That could have contributed to some of the takes we tend to see about him…thoughts?

I struggled all day to come up with a concise way to answer this and couldn't think of one, so here, have a long-winded ramble:

I don't think early fic writers have much impact in the situation with Aventurine's character now, since most people can look at when a story was posted and go "Oh, this was before we had ____ information."

I think that Aventurine's problem is being a male character in a gacha game. Gacha game characters are designed to sell. Hoyo can sell female characters very, very easily. Give her huge tits and a visible underwear strap and you're good to go. I love all my guy friends, but I'm not gonna sugarcoat it: straight men are not the hardest audience to please. Hit a particular fetish (feet, spandex, dommy mommy), and you're gucci.

Nah, we all know why Jade's trailer is Like That.™

Male characters in gacha are harder to sell because women as consumers are a little harder to predict. Does every woman want a tall, ripped hunk? Shit, no, small cute boyish models like Aventurine are selling better now? Why?! Would a bad boy be more popular than a nice guy??? It's harder to account for women's tastes, especially because they are often (a little) less visually-oriented.

Hoyo is good at what they do though, and they've figured out that male characters sell very well when they possess at least one of two specific traits:

Endearing vulnerability/helplessness

Gay ship tease

Give a character both, like Aventurine? They might as well be printing money.

That sound you hear is Hoyo's stock prices rising.

So, from the very beginning, Hoyo is incentivized to create a character that appeals to people, a character people will want to crack their wallets open for. And they achieved this, first and foremost, by giving Aventurine traits that female players (in particular, but men too), find especially appealing: emotional and physical vulnerability.

We see Aventurine's pain. We sympathize with his grief. We identify with his struggle to make meaning of his difficult life. He's our woobie, blorbo, babygirl, whatever the hell they're calling it now.

He can't hide his suffering anymore. He's on the very edge. He's a dude in distress. He's surrounded by enemies! He misses his mama! He's been betrayed! No one understands him like you do, dear player!

The ultimate feeling evoked is: He needs to be saved.

When people talk about male power fantasies, I think they forget that women can experience them too, and "Emotionally vulnerable man that only I (or my favorite character) can fix" is actually a female power fantasy.

And from there it's really easy, right: the people who shell out cash to buy warps for their harmed-husbando feel like they've saved him; the people who are into mlm ships look for the nearest hot dude to be the savior Ratio was waiting for his time lol.

Morally and intellectually, this type of deep-down-golden-hearted, emotionally-wounded male character is very easy to digest. There is nothing to dislike about this type of character or role in the story: this character is a good guy who has just gone through so many terrible situations, whose victim status makes him endearing, and whose lack of agency means that any of the questionable or downright bad things he does are always the result of someone else forcing his hand, and never something he would have chosen himself.

His motivations are always clear and consistent: get free, heal, and live happily ever after.

Insert the Wreck-It Ralph meme: "Do people assume all your problems got solved when a big strong man showed up?" But to be fair, a big strong man did kind of solve Aventurine's problem, so--

Anyway, it's simple. It's straightforward. Morally, it's pretty cut and dry, black and white: Aventurine is our hero, which means everyone dictating the course of his miserable life is evil.

Hoyo is not remotely discouraging people from literally buying into this emotional appeal.

And trust me, I get it. I'll be the first to admit that hurt-comfort is its own entire genre in fandom because it is so appealing. People eat up Aventurine's tragic backstory like candy! The idea of watching a character go through hell at the hands of bad guys just to finally find a happy end is like the definition of everyone's favorite story.

In fact... people love Aventurine's suffering so much, they have invented whole new ways for him to suffer that aren't even in the game.

This is where we get all the headcanons that Aventurine was a sex slave, every single person he meets hates him because of his race, the Stonehearts are executioners holding knives to his throat, Jade enslaved him to the IPC with a lifelong contract, his material possessions belong to the company, the IPC is forcing him to take only the most dangerous missions where he is being required by his evil jailers to continually put his life on the line... You name it and I promise you, I can find a fanfic where Aventurine suffers from it. 😂

Bro can't even sleep in on his day off; life is so hard for this man.

Being serious: if the game is telling us that Aventurine is a victim... Why not make him the perfect victim?

Why not envision an Aventurine with no freedom, who bears no responsibility for any of the horrible situations he is in or any of the dubious things he does?

It's so natural to like that version of Aventurine, so appealing to see a totally powerless underdog use his own wits and charms to claw his way up to freedom. Or, if you're the kind who really relishes angst: It's even appealing to see Aventurine lose more. To delight in fics where he loses his wealth, where the IPC punishes him for past crimes while he's powerless to stop them... (I assure you, this is many people's cup of tea and the fanfics prove it!)

Ultimately, there's nothing wrong with liking characters who are exactly this straightforward! It's completely fine to embrace characters that are intentionally written to be morally above-board, whose primary role in the story is to generate angst by being a good person who suffers, or those characters who never show unlikable traits, bad decisions, or contradictory actions.

The problem is that that's just not who the game is telling us Aventurine is.

Hoyo may be capitalizing off people who love to envision poor Aventurine still living his life as a slave... But the game also needs to tell a complicated enough story overall to appeal to people who don't care about this specific husbando--Aventurine's role in the actual game's plot has to be interesting enough for almost everyone to appreciate it, not just Aventurine's simp squad. (Don't get mad, I'm in the simp squad with you.)

So his character doesn't stop at just being a pure-hearted victim who is still waiting to be saved.

Aventurine is not that easy to label, and I think the biggest struggle in this character's fandom right now is between people who prefer the even-more-angsty, still-a-slave Aventurine versus people who want a morally grey, self-destructive character instead.

To me personally, while I greatly understand the appeal of fanon!Aventurine and the joy of a really juicy angst fic where characters lose it all, I think that missing out on the depth that canon is suggesting would be a real loss on the fandom's part.

The character motivations that Aventurine shows in the game are complicated. They cancel each other out. They're basically self-harm! He makes almost every situation he's in worse for himself--on purpose.

He is a good person, but also a person who has done unspeakable things. He does have morals, but he's not above allowing those who don't have them to use him to their advantage.

He's both the victim and the victor. He's his own worst enemy. He's a lost little boy who's been making terrible decisions for himself since he was like eight years old, and a grown ass man who is barely managing to fake his way through an existence that destiny is not letting him quit.

This kind of character is a lot harder to embrace. He's done things that most people would find appalling--like willingly joining up with the organization that let his entire race be massacred. He's invented a whole new peacock persona to frivolously flaunt riches he doesn't even care about (Poison Dart Frog Self-Defense 101). He actively plays into racist stereotypes about his people to manipulate others through their preconceived expectations. He's made a mockery of his mother's and sister's hopes and dreams by endlessly trying to throw his own life away.

He has flaws! He bet everything he had on a ploy without doing his homework to find out if the people he was risking his life for were even still around. (Maybe he already knew, and couldn't bear to admit it, even to himself.) He's intentionally off-putting and obnoxious to everyone he meets (Poison Dart Frog Self-Defense 102). He terrifies everyone who gets close to him by (seemingly) carelessly throwing himself into the jaws of death without the slightest provocation.

He knowingly allows the IPC to exploit his power and talents for profit. Did everyone forget that his role in the Strategic Investment Department is asset liquidation?! Like, his actual day-to-day job is ruining people's lives. Canonically, Aventurine kills people when his deals go bad.

His motivations change off-screen in two lines of story text. We're told in one line that his biggest reason for joining the IPC was to make money to save the Avgin, then in the next line we find out that's impossible. And... then what? What motivations does he even have now? The whole point of his character arc from 2.0-2.1 is that he was on the edge of giving in to utter despair and nihilism because he couldn't even perceive a single reason to stay alive. He has no purpose in life before Penacony, and that didn't start with the Stonehearts at all??

People keep saying Aventurine was held in the IPC by golden handcuffs, but how do you tie down someone for whom profit is meaningless? What can you offer to a man whose only desire is to bring back something already lost forever? How do you imprison someone whose only definition of freedom is, canonically, death?

Working for the Stonehearts is obviously not healthy. But that's why Aventurine was doing it--because taking dangerous missions allowed him to put himself at risk. The job that he originally pursued hoping to save his people became a direct means to self-harm, and the IPC's only real role in that was just happily profiting off the results.

The journal entries for Aventurine's quests are there deliberately to tell the player what is on his mind, and none of it has to do with escaping from his job:

Like... Work is the least of this man's problems.

At really the risk of rambling on too long now, he's also just a massive walking contradiction:

Aventurine is among the most explicitly religious characters in the game, yet he's one of the only people in the entire game that we have ever seen actively question his people's aeon.

You might be tempted to think Aventurine's risky gambles with his life as an adult are a result of giving up after finding out about the Avgin massacre... Butttt no, Hoyo makes sure to tell us that even at knee-high in the Sigonian desert, Kakavasha was already willing to risk himself in a fight to the death against monsters because even back then he found his own life to have less value than a single memento.

He's the "chosen one" who will lead his people to prosperity... except they're all dead.

He's explicitly suicidal... andddd also a pathstrider of Preservation.

He wants to die... He doesn't want to die. He wants to make it end, yet goes to staggering lengths to continually survive. (Every plan risks his life on purpose--but every plan's win condition is also to live.) He life is the chip tossed down, but his hand is trembling beneath the table. When faced with an otherwise unsurvivable situation, Aventurine literally became a winner of the Hunger Games. He beat other innocent people to death with his own chain-bound hands just to come out alive.

He knows the IPC failed the Avgin and left them to die... and he still willingly sought out a position of power in their organization. Maybe he really is after revenge... but maybe not.

He starts his journey in the IPC with a truly noble goal in mind: to help his people using his newfound wealth and power. He's a good guy who did genuinely want to save the Avgin and repay all those who helped him. But once it became clear he was too late, once it was obvious he would have no use at all for that monetary wealth and power he risked his life to get... What did he do with it? Unlike Jade, we don't see him over here donating to orphanages. (I'm not that heartless; I'm sure he does actually do a lot of good things with his money on the side, but the point is that the game does not show us that--it shows us, over and over again, Aventurine putting on a wasteful, over-indulgent persona toward wealth. We've supposed to feel how meaningless money is to him, how meaningless everything is becoming to him.)

He outright refuses to use underhanded tactics or to cheat at gambles, which is meant to show us that's he's more morally upright than his coworkers. There's an entire exchange where he says that he'll never stoop to using manipulation the way Opal does. But... he doesn't have any issue fulfilling Opal's exact agenda. He was never remotely morally conflicted about denying the Penaconians their freedom by dragging Penacony back under IPC control.

He's willing to risk his own life, which is one thing--but he's also willing to risk other people's well-being. Topaz accuses him of constantly egging their clients on into dangerous situations; we've actively seen him shove a gun into Ratio's hands and pull the trigger with no care for how Ratio would feel about that on their very first meeting... Dragging the Astral Express crew into the entire Penacony plan in the first place was exceedingly dangerous...

To me, I just think it's vital to understand his character through the lens of these contradictions because they demonstrate the extreme polarity of Aventurine's life: from rags to riches, from powerless to empowered by multiple aeons, from willing to kill to survive to killing himself... He has quite literally lived a life of "all or nothing," and while he is the victim of many terrible situations out of his control, his arc as a character involves facing the truth of himself and the future his own actions are hurtling him toward.

Frankly, the Aventurine that canon is suggesting is a little annoying. You want to grab him by the shoulders, shake him, and say "Why are you like this?!" And he won't even have an answer for you, because he doesn't even know why he's still alive.

In the end, to me, this is so, so much more interesting. I can read an endless supply of hurt-comfort fics where Aventurine escapes the evil IPC and Ratio is there to fill the void in his life with the power of love and catcakes and be a perfectly happy clam online, but I want canon to continue to serve us this incredible mess of a man who constantly takes one step forward and two steps back.

Who is fully aware of his role as a cog in the grotesque profit-wheel of cosmic capitalism and still manages to say he never changed from the rags-wearing desert rat of the Sigonian wastes.

Who over and over again flirts with nihility but, ultimately, even if he has to wrest it from the grip of the gods themselves with bloody, chain-bound hands, chooses life.

#honkai star rail #aventurine #aventurine meta #hsr meta #character analysis #listen I see you angsty fic writers who bully our favorite for maximum emotional gain #I am a ratiorine fan with the best of them #so I fully understand the appeal of the “I can fix him” fic #but like #there is so much else just waiting in the text of the game #that makes Aventurine such a rich complex and nuanced character #admitting that the IPC is the least of his issues makes him MORE interesting #not less #I promise #also like #getting so tired of reductive reads of my posts #just because I don't think Aventurine is a slave of the IPC #doesn't mean I think the IPC are good people #I'm not sure how many times I can say #'They're evil and are actively exploiting him for profit'#before people will stop saying I'm an IPC apologist lollll #I promise it is possible for Aventurine to have agency AND for the IPC to still be evil #those two statements can co-exist

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dailyadventureprompts · 2 months ago

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So I've been reading Triangle Agency...

For those not in the know: Triangle Agency is a new weird/corporate horror TTRPG heavily inspired by things like the X files, Delta Green, and Control. You work as agents for the titular organization which sends you out to stabilize reality by dealing with various paranatural Anomalies.

Don't think of this as a review, until I sit down at a table and play this system over a few sessions I won't be able to tell you how well it actually works. What I can tell you is what the game is trying to accomplish with its storytelling and mechanics, and what it's trying to do is interesting.

Unlike a lot of TTRPGs I've read, triangle agency is not interested in giving you a system that you can use to tell whatever story you want. Instead I can compare it to a tabletop version of a choice heavy videogame like Disco Elysium or Bg3: where engaging with the story/mechanics will lead you to one of the endings the authors prepared for you. This is not to say the system is inflexible, that you can't put your own spin on it, GMs can design missions however they want, and player choice is a major focus, but as long as you're playing the game you're furthering the meta story.

As such, this might be the first game that I'd consider running out of the box with only pre-prepped adventures, which is shocking considering how much of a homebrewer I am. Instead, I'd be interested in putting a group of players in this game and just seeing what it does to them, though it'd have to be a very specific group of players than my regular ol gaming group.

The ideal Triangle Agency player is one that's got a primary focus on storytelling over mechanics, who're interested in making big narrative swings happen as a result of their choices. They also need to be comfortable with improv storytelling, as the primary means of interacting with the game requires a quick " what if" session to justify how you're moulding reality into a new shape:

Where another game might have you roll your character's strength for something as simple as kicking down a locked door, Triangle Agency has your party brainstorming a reason why the door would be weak enough for you to kick down in the first place: IE the building has a termite problem, and the hinges were subject to poor storage conditions by the contractor who installed the door. Then you roll. If you succeed, the door is knocked down, the building has a termite problem and has *always* had a termite problem, and an entire human being, Gary the negligent contractor, has been spoken into existence. You are likely to meet him on your next mission.

In many ways this is explicitly like Blades in the Dark's flashback mechanic, except made an explicit part of the game world. Your characters have the same reality distorting abilities of the Anomalies they're hunting, and they have to be careful lest they delete whole swaths of their life trying to angle for a better roll.

This is where we get into Triangle Agency's focus on character, and the secondary requirement that players be the type to get invested in their eldritch business blorbo as they are subjected to various corporate horrors™. This is a game interested in change whether it manifests as choice, trauma, or metamorphosis, and the ante for these interactions is your player/characters investment in the world. Part of this is with your character's contacts, NPCs who are as essential to an agent's build as their anomalous superpowers or their job with the Agency. To give extra weight to these relationships, each one is portrayed by another player at the table, which I thought was an ingenious way to not only take the burden off the GM, but also to give players more screen time even when their primary agent is off stage.

That leads me to the genius primary progression mechanic: The choice between whether to spend time with your Agent's contacts, focus on their Agency job, or delve into the eldritch truth of their powers, and how to split their finite time off between them. Here we get player choice, story, and mechanics all tied together in a neat little package as progression along any of these tracks unlock new abilities while also revealing more and more of the game's secrets. Possibilities for the game's story open up/are blocked off specifically with how the players choose to personally spend their XP, and if that's not a feat of game design ( or more aptly, craft) I don't know what is.

Final Thoughts: Despite having a delightful time reading the rulebook/optional mission pack (Seriously, the vibes are stellar) I don't know if I'm actually going to get to play Triangle Agency at any point in the near future. I think getting the most out of this game depends so much on finding the right playgroup for it and then pouring in enough time to unlock one of the endings. I'd want to see the mechanism of it's story/mechanics/drama play out, but doing so is one heck of a commitment.

However, if you've got a group full of storytellers that are up for the challenge and you're looking for something substantial to play next, I don't think I could recommend it enough.

I'm also going to be keeping my eyes out for longform actual plays of this one, I'd love to see what a group of performers could do with this.

#dapper digresses #triangle agency #So I've been thinking about

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olderthannetfic · 4 months ago

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Really wish that female characters weren't held to such extremely high standards.

I'm a writer and I follow a lot of writing advice blogs and no one really gives a shit how you write male characters (unless it's relevent to them being a minority, which is understandable) but whenever they talk about writing female characters, following their "advice" feels like I'm trying to defuse a bomb at gunpoint.

They can't be GNC or a tomboy or hate makeup/dresses/etc. or else they're a "pick me" or "NLOG" and they have internalized misogyny and that's bad. Unless of course at the end they overcome this horrible "character flaw" and get put in a dress and learn how to be a real, Proper Woman™. (And let me tell you, this one is really fun to see as a GNC woman. 🙄)

They can't be too polite, softspoken, or weak, because then they're a damsel in distress and submissive. But they also can't be rude, loud, or aggressive because then you're doing the "mean girl" trope which is bad and evil.

They can't wear skimpy clothing or be sexual at all. They should never seduce anyone, sleep around, or god forbid want to get naked in front of people, because if you do that you're sexualizing women for the male gaze and you're bad and unfeminist.

They can't fight with other female characters because then it's a "catfight" and it's misogynistic, because I guess women always get along and support each other (lmao).

And fandoms are no better. If a male character has ten thousand flaws people go "I don't care this is my babyboy blorbo man" but if a female character has a single negative or "problematic" attribute people go absolutely apeshit. But then if she doesn't have any flaws, she gets called a Mary Sue.

Women (and female characters) cannot do anything without someone hating us, huh?

TBH, it's not really more or less understandable about minorities. "Don't write extremely basic and egregious stereotypes with no depth" is a good rule. "Only write Good Rep" is not.

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lutiaskokopelli · 8 months ago

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Fate Knows No One is available on AO3!

So I know I said I've been drawing a few things that weren't too spoiler-heavy, but they're all unfinished WIPs that I would like to complete before posting. So of course the first Outer Wilds thing I will post here actually is spoiler-heavy. In my defense, I really wanted to finish this thing because it had been rotting in my files for months and I just wanted to be able to stop looking at it and be done with it already FJSDMKLG

This post is spoiler-free, but the story it links to is definitely "do not read if you haven't played the game/already spoiled it for yourself" territory. You have been warned.

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This fic's plot is very simple: sweet, nervous, never-wanted-to-be-an-astronaut Hal, gets the freaky statue experience instead of the one who would normally have it in the vanilla story.

If you know what the game's plot is about, you know exactly what this means. If you don't... Let's just say that the Protagonist™'s best friend who you usually talk to once and then may forget ever existed has been forced into main character territory, and that said Protagonist™ is forced into the role of sidekick at best. In both cases against their will.

Although the fact that this fic's title gives the acronym "FKNO" was purely accidental, do know that you can absolutely take it as a warning xD If you've read my other stories, you know already that these poor blorbos are going to suffer a lot. (but they'll be okay in the end I promise they will get all the hugs)

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By the way, so far it's safe, but do know that DLC spoilers will be part of the plot eventually (even though "eventually" means "don't hold your breath it might take a year or ten").

#outer wilds #outer wilds fanfic #outer wilds fanart #outer wilds hal #outer wilds gabbro #outer wilds art #outer wilds fkno

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rillils · 1 year ago

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post fall bucky having a fear of heights?? ive always thought that he'd be afraid of heights, like he wasnt afraid of it at all before his fall, go ask steve. but after falling?? he tries to hide it from steve, how scared he is.. and steve, bless his poor soul, he blames himself for not realizing sooner, he thinks he shouldve known, he couldnt possibly have. hes always seen bucky as this brave courage man, and bucky didnt want to ruin steve's image of him worse than he already think he did. and oh my fucking god

THE POST PLANE CRASH STEVE BEING AFRAID OF TIGHT SPACES?? BECAUSE IT BRINGS HIM BACK TO FEELING THE COLD SEEP IN THROUGH HIS VERY BONES WHILE HE GETS CRUSHED BY ALL THE WATER, ICE, AND DEBRIS?? DONT GET ME STARTED OH MY GOD

HONEY I FEEL LIKE YOUR LEVEL OF CRUELTY TOWARDS ME SPECIFICALLY IS REACHING DANGEROUS LEVELS HERE

but I get it, I getchu hon, sometimes we just gotta put the blorbos in a Situation™, that's how we roll.

but holy shit 😭😭😭

I mean god, Bucky-

imagine how tough it must be for him, every time they're on a mission, 'cause he's first and foremost a sniper, isn't he? and for him, that often involves perching on the roof of really high buildings, and keeping as still as possible for as long as necessary - and above all, keeping a steady hand, because what is a sniper supposed to be if not precise and lethal and reliable?

and factor in all the other possible contingencies, too! like having to bolt if he's spotted by the enemy, and having to climb back down in a rush. or helping chase after the bad guys from rooftop to rooftop. or when, god forbid, they have to jump out of a plane and parachute themselves to a certain site.

it's an absolute nightmare for Bucky, but he just keeps trying to tough it out, right? grit his teeth, push through even when his flesh palm is clammy with sweat, even when his stomach is churning and his legs feel like jelly, even when his hands start shaking despite his best efforts to hold them still. it's scary and mortifying all at once, and he can't bring himself to say anything about it to anyone, especially to Steve. because he knows Steve would try to suggest he take it easy and stay behind, while Steve himself is out there risking his neck, and the very notion makes Bucky feel sick.

so he's just desperately hanging in there, right?

until something happens. he's dizzy, his hands are shaking too bad, he flubs a shot, Steve almost gets killed because of it. Bucky snaps. this is the last straw. he's done.

I mean, imagine how it must tear. him. apart. how horribly it must hurt him to admit to himself that he can't go on like this anymore. because on the one hand, fuck it all to hell, he's supposed to be by Steve's side! watch his six, protect him, make sure he makes it home in one piece! it's what Bucky's been doing ever since they were kids, it's a fundamental part of who he is! to even imagine letting Steve walk into a fight alone - no, not 'alone', without Bucky - is unthinkable. it's like denying himself a basic need. like denying who Bucky is, what he feels he was born to do, a biological imperative.

but. on the other hand, the thought of putting Steve in danger, of Steve getting hurt (or worse) because Bucky couldn't do his job properly, is even more unbearable.

Steve counts on him, trusts him with his life - as he should be able to do, if they're going to be a team - but how can Bucky allow that anymore, now that he can't even trust himself? how can he be what Steve needs, if he's going to let him down when Steve needs him the most? how would he ever forgive himself if something happened to Steve because of him?

he barely holds himself together until they get home, and then he just, he breaks down. stumbles over to the couch, crumples in on himself, trembling, pale like a ghost, taking in big gulps of air like he'll drown otherwise. telling a worried Steve, who's crouching next to him in a heartbeat, "I can't do this anymore".

now Steve, he had noticed that something was off for a while now, and Bucky's words just confirm what he already suspected. he thinks, of course Bucky's sick of this, of course he doesn't want to fight anymore - god knows he's got plenty of reasons to want to leave all this shit behind.

Steve could never imagine what the actual issue is, here - not until he's trying to tell Bucky that it's his right to retire if that's what he wants, that of course Steve supports him, and Bucky interrupts him to confess, in between sobs, where exactly the problem lies, and how he fears he's no longer fit to accompany Steve on missions, 'cause he'd risk becoming a liability rather than backup.

CUE A WHOLE SHITTON OF FEELS because fuck, how long has Bucky been feeling this way, and how did Steve not realize it sooner, and the way Steve's face twists with guilt when he wonders where this fear of heights might come from, and gives himself the most obvious amd most fucking heartbreaking answer, and Bucky can tell that he's hurting and blaming himself and they're just BOTH hurting and blaming themselves and hfgskfjskks HONEY WE'RE SPEEDRUNNING THROUGH ALL THE STAGES OF GRIEF HERE HELP

no, but. they're gonna have an honest conversation about this, okay? painful, yes, but also liberating. they're going to air out some of that hurt, and actually let it heal out in the open for once.

I figure there's gonna be lots of bargaining first, on both parts, like Bucky arguing that he could still fight, just maybe stick to the ground instead, and Steve telling him that he doesn't have to, and really he'd be happier knowing that Bucky's safe at home and not forcing himself into dangerous situations, and Bucky grumbling 'cause oh how the tables have turned, and just, you know, trying to find a way to compromise.

I think, maybe this is how Steve first starts to really, genuinely consider retiring, himself. like, not just picturing it in a distant, wistful way, oh wouldn't it be nice if we could do that, etc - but really, really entertaining the idea. letting himself plan it out. talking about it with Bucky, even with Sam and Nat, giving himself the chance to consider another kind of life. after all, there are plenty of battles to fight in the world, and not all of them require fists and guns, right? and if he can fight those battles too alongside Bucky, then so much the better 💖

CLAUSTROPHOBIC STEVE THOUGH OMG

somehow the first thing that comes to mind is that one scene from CATWS, when he and Nat find Zola's computerized ass and he blows up the building, and they're stuck in a tiny hole under all the rubble until Steve gets them both out. I CAN PICTURE ONLY TOO VIVIDLY HOW FUCKING SCARY THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN FOR HIM, OH MY GOD

as somebody who shares that kind of phobia, may I submit to you one of the most obvious, most mundane monsters he might face: ELEVATORS. especially of the narrow, non-see through kind, where you're literally locked inside a metal box until it releases you from that torment. IF IT DOES. like honey the anxiety is real af okay

in the spirit of putting the blorbos in a Situation™, please picture them both in an old-fashioned elevator.

Steve hasn't mentioned his fear to Bucky, he's just been lucky so far, so he didn't have to bring it up. but the stupid thing is so slow, and the space inside is so small, and sure, Steve never minded being in Bucky's close proximity, but he can't stop thinking about getting the fuck out of there asap.

at some point the fucking thing stops, and oh good god they're stuck inside, and it's gonna take a while for help to come.

and Bucky, sweet, horny, unsuspecting Bucky, just makes a little joke about knowing just how they could pass the time until then, wink wink. he crowds Steve back against the already narrow wall, starts sucking languid kisses into Steve's neck-- and Steve's frozen, breathing in quick shallow breaths that could be mistaken for gasps of pleasure, holding onto Bucky with an iron grip because he can feel himself spiraling into panic, heart racing wildly, eyes darting from wall to wall like he can see them rapidly closing in on him, suffocating him, squeezing him in--

and it takes a moment for Bucky to realize what's really going on, but when he pulls back and sees Steve so terrified, hyperventilating and about ten seconds away from passing out, he switches into Protective Boyfriend mode like *snaps fingers*

he's like, "sweetheart, what's wrong?", and the second Steve gasps "out, I need to get outta here, now", Bucky springs into action and pries the elevator's door open with his bare hands, helping Steve climb out (the next floor was already into view) and following suit.

of course they're gonna talk about it (and realize that they should maybe stop hiding their respective fears from each other), and from then on... yep, they stick to stairs <3

#stucky just stucky #stucky #this got long i'm so sorry #also #i really wanted to scribble a little thing about this - either headcanon or possibly even both - like a decent-looking fic you know #but the braincell refused to cooperate :'(#either way HONEY I LOVE YOU EVEN WHEN YOU MAKE ME AND THE BOYS SUFFER LIKE THIS #*SCREECHES*#i hope the read-more works ahsdjkshdkjsh

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stranger-feathers · 2 months ago

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Don't mind me listening to my dad's playlist and thinking about the blorbos, but I just got slapped in the face by one association so I need to yap about it.

Yesterday by the Beatles is actually such a Mike Wheeler song, it's not even funny.

The overall opposition between a good yesterday and a lackluster present, and the longing for what used to be, but isn't anymore ? Wanting to go back to an easy time, where things used to be simple and good, because now everything is fucked up and you don't know how to fix it ? That is such an Hopper's speech "turn back the clock"™ Mike vibe.

"I'm not half the man I used to be"

The contrast between early rebellious and outspoken leader Mike, and the muted and defeated S4 version. He used to be so bright but life broke him down.

"There's a shadow hanging over me"

With all of his secrets, and the issues he keeps brushing off, but that are still there hanging over him, because ignoring them doesn't make them go away.

"Why she had to go, I don't know, she wouldn't say"

El's "goodbye Mike" in S1 still haunting him a year after the fact. Her running away when he almost catches her in S2, and going to risk her life right when he gets her back. Her dumping him in S3, then leaving Hawkins at the end. Then leaving him again in S4. The overall motif of Mike getting left behind by El, if you even get it ??? (it's even in their last scene in the field !)

Soon she won't need him anymore, and he's so scared of that meaning her leaving him forever with no explanations, because he wants her to stay, but she keeps leaving and he doesn't understand why !

"I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday"

The rain fight.

His fight with El about not saying "I love you".

The clear regret in both cases. The longing to fix it all and go back to a better time, to say the right thing instead of hurting them. It's him, it's so him !!!

He spends most of season 4 mulling over what he said/didn't say to El. So much of his behavior in S3 and S4 is informed by his outburst in the rain fight, and the longing that comes with almost losing Will over it. He puts his foot in his mouth, and instantly regrets it, but it doesn't change what he said wrong in the first place, no matter how much he longs for everything to go back to before.

"Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play"

D&D and games as his love language with Will. Loving Will used to be easy when it was just the party in his basement. But now that they're not kids anymore, they can't play games in his basement for the rest of their lives. That love is something they have to leave in yesterday, even if it hurts them.

Also, love as something to play, because his relationship with El is in part performance, playing at being grown-ups in a serious relationship in S3. But now it's much harder in S4 because El wants something real and not just playing around, and Mike doesn't know how to do that.

"Now I need a place to hide away"

Mike's basement going from a place to play games in, to a place where Mike rots and hides away while he's depressed over his relationships falling apart. Wanting to hide away from his changing feelings, from Will and the way he feels for him, from El and all of the ways he can't be honest without hurting her.

Do you even get me ???? I said, screaming into the void like a maniac. It just fits !

#mike wheeler #elmike #byler #platonic mileven #stranger things #song association #this is ramble but it's MY ramble #my ramblings #my thoughts

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frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe · 1 year ago

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me listening to my mom sing along with the songs on my steddie playlist: you have no clue. you have no earthly idea. you don't know that all these songs are about two fictional gay men. this one is specifically his song, and this one is the other's song. you have no clue that this song is the title of a fanfic that made me sob. you don't know that my pocket friends made this tswift song about them™. you have no idea that i've written this one and this one and this one into a fanfiction about a mixtape. you don't know that someone else did with this one. you think it's all just fun 80s tunes that you listened to when you were younger, but they aren't; they're about the blorbos in my phone.

#steddie #it's steddie.#it's ALL steddie.#steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie playlist #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson

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djevelbl · 3 months ago

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On one hand I wanna post a badly taken photo of the wip I'm in rn but like. I think it'd be funnier if I just casually drop the thing with little context and disappear into the ether to go onto the next wip

#i guess i can just like. TALK about it #its not like i can keep working on it bc mY FUCKASS PEN RAN OUT OF BATTERY #so uh #let's just say that the concept of beach!clown and beach!reddoons exist out in the world now #and both are HILARIOUS ngl #anyway #demon rambles™#also couldn't decide on whether i should do squiddo using the same clothes as sabrina or not bc they arent very squiddo-coded #so i kinda did 2 versions??? one where they're wearing the same thing as sabrina and another where she's wearing swimning trunjs bc-#-in my head they would wear swimming trunks and some random ass tanktop with thick straps bc why the hell not #+ arm floaties bc that'd be silly and fun and she's the deity of silly and fun #squiddo #i want all the squiddo fans to read the tags . it's about your blorbo .

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kyliafanfiction · 7 months ago

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Victoria Dallon and Righteousness: An Incomplete Deconstruction

From everything I've heard and read, there was a lot of negative response to Victoria Dallon being the main character of Ward, when that was revealed. Lots of people obviously wanted Taylor, but even more, Victoria as MC didn't really resonate with a lot of the people who loved Worm so much - very different sort of MC.

Now, obviously, I wasn't in the fandom when Ward came out, I was still just loosely aware Worm existed and that the MC was a villain protagonist named Taylor Hebert. I wasn't even aware Amy Dallon existed, let alone Victoria!

So I don't know how I would have felt about it, but I'm willing to bet I wouldn't have been a huge fan. One, because I probably would have wanted Amy as the MC, because I'm willing to bet Amy still would have been my blorbo (though I don't believe the term blorbo existed when Ward was started) even coming into Worm blind, by the time I was done.

But two, because... even though I like Victoria (a lot), and would presumably still like her in this hypothetical scenario, I don't like her as Main character material. Because at the end of the day, the sort of archetype she represents is not one that I tend to care for.

It is not breaking new ground to say that Victoria Dallon, Glory Girl, is, in large part, a deconstruction of the Flying Brick/Superman type character. Worm has several deconstructions of that type of character, and Vicky is one of them. Her invulnerability is an illusion, and indeed, her whole schtick is the illusion, the 'Aura' (heh) of perfection and untouchability.

But the thing is... I don't, as a general rule, actually like the superman-type characters, in fiction. Your Captain Americas, your Supermans, your CW Supergirls - they're not really my type of character. Not because of their strength or 'invulnerability' or whatever, but because of their sense of self-righteousness, their righteousness, and the way the narrative tends to support and build up that righteousness. Obviously the wide world of comics is full of exceptions, but in the comics-adapted media I've seen, the 'Superman Type' character still tends to get away with always being right, with their moral rectitude being unquestioned in the end, with them getting to be the 'moral heart'. Whenever their code clashes with someone else's, theirs always gets to be right.

Once in a while the narrative will let them be wrong, but even then it's usually brought back around to them being right.

And Victoria Dallon has that righteousness in spades, in Worm. Her first introduction, of course, immediately exposes that this is at least somewhat an illusion. Interlude 2 has her do a police brutality and nearly kill a guy. Sure it's a Nazi, but police brutality is bad even if it's done to 'acceptable targets'. That shouldn't be a controversial opinion. And then Amy is called in to help Victoria maintain that illusion by healing the guy and leaving it his word against Glory Girl's and Panacea's. Again, another case that her righteousness is, in the Wormverse, a bit of an illusion.

And then in Arc 3, she arguably threatens some pretty disproportionate retribution for bank robbery. Again, the illusion of righteousness. And her insistence 'New Wave Doesn't Have Secrets' when we know full well from Interlude 2 that she sure as shit does have secrets from (most of) the rest of New Wave.

But for a deconstruction of a self-righteous character to be complete, that sense of self-righteousness needs to get the character in trouble. And that doesn't really happen for Vicky in Worm.* And everything I know about Ward suggests that her sense of 'I know what's right, my moral code is the Correct™ one all the time, I'm the good guy and that makes what I believe correct ipso facto' doesn't really go away or get questioned or undermined.

But notice that asterisk? Because the thing is, in a way, in Worm, her sense of 'I know what's right, I'll do what I think is right damn anyone else's idea of it, I'm the hero, those who oppose me are the villains, the monsters, and it's cut and dry' does actually get her in trouble cause her major problems.

But it's hard to talk about, because it happens in Interlude 11h. And talking about it risks looking like you're victim-blaming Victoria.

Now, I shouldn't have to say this, but I'm pretty sure if I don't, there's going to be people believing I think otherwise, but Victoria 113% did not deserve to have her brain altered, or to have what happens to her when Amy wretches her.

(Whether you agree with Wildbow's dubious insistence that rape was the intended reading all along, or think that it was meant to just be nonconsensual body modification/etc as a metaphor for sexual assault or whatever else, what happens is a horrific violation of Victoria's bodily autonomy ontop of the previous violation of her mind. It was bad. Victoria is a victim and Amy her victimizer here)

But, Victoria's sense of her own righteousness does sort of lead to both.

In Interlude 11h, Amy makes it very clear she wants Victoria to stay away from her, to not touch her. Now, Amy doesn't communicate what's going to happen because it's not like she, before the critical moment, was actively planning it to happen, so despite what some people have said, it's not a case of 'Fuck Around, Find Out', and people who unironically say that definitely need to get smacked around the head with a metaphorical two-by-four a few times, because that's a fucked up POV.

But, Amy still laid a boundary very clearly. 'Don't Touch Me!'. Tumblr, correctly, is very much a fan of the notion that 'no' is a complete sentence, that people are absolutely allowed to refuse hugs, that that all is part of bodily autonomy. That 'don't touch me' is an acceptable boundary, even with close family members.

Vicky, without hesitation, violates that boundary. She decides that her belief that it's okay to hug Amy, because she loves her (as a sister), because they're family, because she knows better than Amy what's right for her (as the whole first half of the scene is her trying to convince Amy to do what she manifestly does not want to do) takes precedence over Amy's boundary. Over Amy's belief about what's best for her. Over Amy's own wants and wishes.

Now this is entirely understandable - she loves her sister, she's afraid for her, she wants her sister to come back home, her sister is being chased by fucking serial killers, it's entirely understandable she doesn't want Amy running around on her own. And if she'd just stuck to trying to convince Amy with words, then that wouldn't be an issue. And... her brain wouldn't have been changed. At least not then. Maybe Amy snaps more completely later and does something, but that's a pretty deep hypothetical.

Now again, Vicky does not deserve this. This is not 'earned'. This is not 'FAFO'. But her sense of self-righteousness does indeed get her into trouble here. The one (hugging Amy) is a necessary antecedent to the other (Amy changing her brain).

Until the critical moment it happened, Amy did not want to do this. Hence the 'don't touch me'. Whether it was an errant impulse, an intrusive thought or her shard deciding to act on it's own to push her towards doing it, it happens. Amy does a very bad thing, and she has to own that.

To Amy's (perhaps minimal) credit, she immediately is horrified by what she did, and tries to fix it. To undo it. Understandably, Vicky says no. Her sister just violated her on a fundamental level, and her entire view of her sister has just been destroyed, because she's also finding out that her sister has been in love with her this whole time, and that of course makes her question everything else she thought she knew.

So she doesn't trust Amy enough to give her the chance to fix it.

Now, I'd like to believe that under other circumstances, say Scion suddenly shows up and turns S9 into paste, aborting the entire arc or something, that Victoria, once she has a few days to reflect, will decide to trust her years of knowing Amy, of loving Amy (as a sister) and trust her sister enough to give her the chance to fix it. Probably with some backup (trust but verify and all that), but still. Maybe that's wishful thinking on my part, but either way, that opportunity doesn't happen.

And in 11h, there's another place where her self-righteousness, her 'I'm the hero, anyone who opposes me is pure evil' mentality also ends up contributing, in a small way, to something else bad happening to her.

In her entirely justifiable anger at Amy, she says that Amy never deserved any of the defense, the benefit of the doubt, etc that Vicky gave her, vis-a-vis her father. That she 'exceeded' him in awfulness. This is of course manifestly not true - Marquis may not have meddled with minds, but his plethora of murders is still much worse - but Victoria isn't exactly speaking from a place of rational analysis here. She's beyond angry, and wants to say a thing she knows will hurt Amy the most. And, given her mental state in that moment, she might even believe it. I certainly doubt she has a firm understanding of Marquis's criminal career.

But, understandable, justifiable or not, it is another blow to Amy's incredibly fragile psyche. Another piece of 'proof' to Amy that she really is the monster she always thought she was. And confirmation of that fear of hers, and her surrender to it, is critical to the wretchification and rape/sexual assault metaphor (see above).

In Interlude 11h, Amy was ready, willing and psychologically able to undo what she did to Victoria. By the time she has the opportunity, she is in a very different mental state, and isn't willing to. Isn't really able to. Amy, rightly, gets shit for this from fans and from characters in-universe, and it was wrong of her to not fix Vicky, let alone what she actually does to her. But there was a moment when she could have fixed Vicky, and in part, the reason it doesn't happen is directly linked to Victoria's sense of righteousness.

Now, a good character beat to have when a righteous/self-righteous character suffers or otherwise gets into trouble because of that aspect of their personality, is for them to reflect on their mistake, to realize what they did was wrong (or at least, the incorrect choice), and to resolve to not let themselves always be so sure that their sense of moral rectitude is always... well, correct in the future. Not to the extent that they just forget they were hurt or betrayed or whatever, but at least understanding it was wrong and they should do better in the future.

But that doesn't really happen. Not in Worm, because Vicky has no story arc after being wretched. Even her being fixed at the end is entirely bound up with it being a conclusion to Amy's story arc.

Now, that could have happened in Ward, but it is rather hard to do when you're insisting that rape happened. Because IRL, there's a lot of baggage around anything that even smacks or looks like you're victim-blaming someone who was raped. Even suggesting that people shouldn't walk alone in dangerous places at night, or don't accept drinks from people you don't trust, for instance, is often met with 'no, just teach people not to rape' from some quarters. (Which is true but... exceedingly unhelpful).

Anything that even kind of sounds like you're saying the victim 'deserved' it, or that they 'brought it on themselves' or whatever is 'rape culture', and to be fair, there is a fuck of a hell of a lot of that IRL. There's a lot of people who really would rather blame the victim, IRL. And even for fictional characters.

But saying that the victim did things they probably shouldn't have done, that they made mistakes, that certain choices of theirs led to what happened to them is not victim blaming. Not inherently. The ultimate choice to victimize is with the perpetrator. Whatever else, it's Amy's fault what happened to Vicky, not Victoria's.

And if it hadn't been full on actual rape, it might have been possible to actually see that deconstruction of Victoria's righteousness through to it's conclusion. But once you make it rape, and decide to make that a centerpiece of the character's narrative, it's rather hard to discuss how the character's own flaws and mistakes led to it, at least not without looking like you're doing a bit of victim blaming, doing rape culture apologia or the like.

And so, even in the most charitable reading of Wildbow (which I am at this point never inclined to give him as a first choice, personally, but), it's fair that he might not want to deal with that and just... drops that little notion that he built in 11h.

Of course, it's entirely plausible that my reading of 11h isn't even remotely what he intended because at this point I'm almost inclined to believe that anything good about Worm was an accident. This is of course, unfair, but Wildbow's own patterns of behavior make it hard to believe him about his authorial intent, anytime, ever.

Regardless, to bring it back to the start of the post - this reality, this incomplete (to me) deconstruction, this failure to properly explore the failings of Victoria's sense of righteousness and belief in her own moral rectitude is why, Victoria Dallon, as she exists, is not a character I can really like as a main POV character.

There's a reason why Captain America is the MCU character that annoys me the most. Why Supergirl, on the CW show of the same name, is my least favorite of the main cast, generally (I do like Kara Danvers, but still, least favorite). Characters who are possessed of their own sense of righteousness, and with him the core narrative tends to agree with, are always the sort of characters that are going to rub me the wrong way.

People who fervently, unquestioningly believe they are the hero of the story, the good guy in the narrative, without ever asking 'am I in the wrong here, not just a little, but completely', who don't have doubts not about specific moral choices, but their entire moral standing, don't tend to be very appealing to me.

There's a lot of problems I have with Ward, and that I would have had with Ward as it unfolded if I'd been reading it life (presumably), and in the interest of full honesty, the biggest is and would have always been the handling of Amy, above all else, but this lack of correction of Victoria's sense of her own righteousness and the fact that by all accounts the narrative tends to support and agree with this sense she has, would definitely have been and indeed is, another factor that means I'd probably have ended up one of those people saying "Victoria was a poor choice for the MC of the 'sequel' to Worm."

And again, I understand why, once rape is settled on and made 'clear', why it doesn't happen, why the examination, the 'I fucked up' moment doesn't happen, but... still. I can't help but think that, and all that could have flowed from it, really should have happened. That it would have been more interesting. And why, to my mind, even if to no one else's, the real promise, the best possibilities of Victoria's character, will always be incomplete. Why she's never going to be 'Main Character' material to me personally.

#Victoria Dallon #Guts and Glory #Wormblr #Worm #Worm Parahumans #Musings #Kylia Walks On Thin Ice #Kylia Writes Long Metas Almost No One Will Read Or Reblog #Kylia Screams Into The Void And The Void Ignores Her #At least that's what experience tells me

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derinthescarletpescatarian · 1 year ago

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Hi I have a question. How do I start writing?

Basically I've never written anything except a dnd backstory which at best offended all my forefathers cause of how bad it was. I had this idea for a character that I would like to try and create a story about but I'm struggling to even start.

Part of the problem is my add who I have to switch from distracted to hyperfocus™. I'm also scared everyone will hate it even though it would be my first writing thing ever.

Sorry to drop this on you and feel free to ignore it!

They probably will hate it, although they won't tell you to your face. It's going to be awful. Same as the first thing you ever drew was awful. Same as the first time you try to play guitar would sound awful. Here's my advice: stop asking for advice for a bit and start writing.

Don't get me wrong, you will need advice. Writing is a craft, and there are rules, and while the best works usually break those rules it is because they know what the rules are and why they exist and why their particular work needs to break them. You are going to need SO MUCH advice to write anything good.

But not yet.

The biggest mistake new writers make is paralyse themselves. They don't write because it's going to be bad, because they don't know what they're doing; they procrastinate by reading books about writing advice (which will be valuable to you later!) or by waiting for inspiration or by telling themselves they'll start writing when they're good at it, which is a trap, because you will only develop that awareness by writing.

Get an AO3 account, if you don't have one. Or an account with your fanfic site of choice (I recommend AO3 because the culture there is extremely positive and encouraging to new writers, 'say something nice or not at all' is the norm there). Write a fun coffee shop AU or something about your blorbos, whatever you want, whatever's fun. Write a handful of these for fun and no other reason. After a few, you'll start to see why some of the other similar stories are better than yours. You'll notice that they're doing things in a way you aren't.

Then it'll be time to ask what they're doing, and why. And you can start thinking about improving your craft.

But the first step is to start crafting at all.

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doodlesketchgirl · 7 months ago

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your honor i can't "be normal" about my comfort characters. They're simply My Blorbo™ that lives in my head rent free

#ori.txt #blorbo posting

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selfproclaimedunicorn · 3 months ago

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glance, stillness & favorite for Griffith?

For Griffith?! For the pretty boy?! Thank you for the opportunity to talk about the prettiest boy in all of House Tyrell 🙏🏻

glance: At first glance, what stands out most about your OC's appearance? What's their distinguishing feature?

I think it's just how delicate his features are, like, that is his mom's face. And on Ella, those features are sharp & pretty distinctive, you slap that on a boy though & suddenly he is a delicate little bird who is so, so pretty. I think if you had to pick a standout feature, maybe his lips? They're fuller than Ella’s so the shape is more pronounced (& is adding to the prettiness of the Pretty Boy™)

If you want to get into "comparatively, this is standout," then is his height in comparison to the other men at Thorn Hall because he managed to be 5'11" (RIP House Tyrell of Thorn Hall, y'all are maxing out at 5'9"), & his eyes in comparison to most people he hangs out with. He's got double Grandpa Alaric Stark's eyes while his dad & sisters have brown eyes & his mom's side of the family all have purple eyes.

stillness: How does your OC act while still? Are they fidgety? Do they have any common gestures or tics? Does their clothing affect how they hold themselves while at rest?

Griffith is pretty stationary. He has good posture & is maybe even a little stiff, especially in comparison to his dad who stands around posed like a marble statue right after the Ancient Greeks figured out contrapposto. A lot of what he wears is very buttoned up, & so he holds himself pretty straight-up-and-down. Least jaunty lad in the game. He's also definitely one of those "I rest my hands on my sword because I'm not sure what else to do with my hands" types.

favorite: Does your OC have a favorite article of clothing or accessory? What is it? What's the meaning behind it? Do they wear it all the time or do they wear it sparingly to keep it safe?

Garth Greenhand themed cloak clasp that is based off of this necklace

So there's one hand on one side, & the other hand on the other, & then the little green gem hangs in the middle/between the open cloak bits.

And he wears this all the time. He has one (1) Blorbo & being a Garth Greenhand Fanboy is half his personality. The other half is being a slut.

#asks #oc: Griffith Tyrell

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sunsetsandsunshine · 2 years ago

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~ You can always ask ~

YAYAYAYAY AFTER PUTTING THIS OFF FOR WEEKS HERE IT IS: MY FIRST TMNT 2012 FIC!!! TAKE THAT WRITERS BLOCK!!! TAKE. THAT. LETS FREAKING GO AAHHHHH I MISS THESE DUMBASS BLORBOS AMNSSJKSLSOSM 💗💞💞💞💕💖💖💖💖

This is a gift to the spectacular @vxlepop!!!

Lee: Leo🐢💙

Ler: Mikey🐢🧡

Summary: Mikey has noticed throughout the week that his oldest brother has been acting…off. Call him paranoid all you want but he just…he just knows something’s up with Leo. And the youngest of the Hamato brothers’ is determined to figure out what’s bothering they’re leader in blue.

Warnings: Tickling and spacing out (just for a tad bit though). If you are uncomfortable that please scroll down- this fanfic is definitely not for you :)

(A/N: T*EST DNI. I WILL ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS PUT THIS AT THE BEGINNING OF MY FICS- I DON'T WANT THOSE PEOPLE GETTING CONFUSED. THEY'RE BROTHERS U DISGUSTING ASSHOLES. UR ABSOLUTELY NASTY IF U SHIP T*EST-! THATS COMMON SENSE!!! GUESS COMMON SENSE ISN’T THAT COMMON, HM?)

——————————————————————————————————

Call Mikey paranoid.

Call him a worry-wart.

But his eldest brother, Leonardo, has been acting…off. And it’s been absolutely dreading Mikey inside this whole week to ask his eldest brother what was wrong. Leo’s been quiet, more than he usually is and even that alone is saying a lot. The oldest has been training with his swords non-stop, meditating like crazy and practicing speaking Japanese fluently, and not really talking to Mikey or his brothers, only if it had to do with those topics.

Which…now that Mikey thinks about it, it does sound like everyday Leo. But he just knows that somethings wrong with the leader in blue…there’s got to be. Maybe Mikey is worrying too much, he is known to turn little things into a big deal after all. But on the other hand, he has been living with his brothers his whole darn life, if anyone would know if something was bothering one of them, he would know! …probably.

And…now that Mikey thinks about it…

Leo hasn’t watched any Space Hero’s episodes this week…

Yup. Something was up. Mikey knew that for a fact now and you couldn’t tell him otherwise. But the real question is, what can Mikey do about it? Leo was very…closed off about his negative feelings, and didn’t like talking about them at all. Even though it was completely healthy and normal to feel negative emotions; literally every emotion is! His eldest brother told them that several times himself!

And yet, Leo never talks to Mikey or their other brothers about his negative feelings! Tch, what a hypocrite.

And…maybe this is partially Mikey’s fault as well. Mikey has always falled for Leo’s “older sibling worry™”, but Mikey has never really worried about him that much. Sure, when Leo’s injured during a fight or he sees his brother patch up a bruise from training he asks if he’s okay…but other than that Mikey doesn’t ask him that question often.

But it’s not like Mikey didn’t care enough to ask Leo that! He does! He really does! But the thing is…Leo’s always they’re leader, they’re older brother, they’re protection. Leo’s always been the one that’s just…been there for Mikey and his brothers- ways that even they’re Father can’t compete with and the youngest can’t be anything more but grateful for that.

And…the sad truth is Leo isn’t just they’re leader or protection, under all those labels Leo’s just a kid. An amazing, strong, independent kid who has more on his plate than any other 15 year old should. And it seems Mikey, including everyone else AND Leo, forget that sometimes…

“MICHAELANGELO!” Mikey jumped from off the couch in the living room at the sudden random yell of his name, pulling him out of his thoughts. Mikey grabbed his nunchucks from off the cushion. He began to swing them, looking around the lair in hopes to find whomever called his name. “Who’s there?! How do you know my name?” The youngest turtle demanded, swinging his nunchucks faster and doing complicated tricks with them.

“Mikey-“

Without a second thought Mikey closed his eyes and swung his nunchucks, coming in contact with a figure and them hitting the ground. Mikey opened his eyes and looked around before sighing in relief. A couple seconds after that the youngest heard a groan underneath him and looked down to see his older brother lying face flat.

“Wait- Raph???” Mikey gasped, immediately dropping his nunchucks to examine his brother that was lying on the floor groaning lightly. “What’re you doing on the floor, bro?” Mikey chuckled, confused and intrigued to hear as to why his brother was currently kissing the lair floor. Raph slowly got up from off the floor; massaging the right side of his head as he glared at the youngest.

“I was comin’ to check up on ya after I finished nappin’, but ya nunchucks just wanted to get to know my head better I guess…” Raph huffed, crossing his arms around his plastron and shaking his head. Mikey stared at Raph confused, his nunchucks wanted to get to know Raph’s head better?

Wait…

The youngest gasped in horror, going to his older brother and giving him a bone crushing hug. “Oh my god! Raph I’m so sorry! I spaced out and you know how I get when that happens so when I heard someone- apparently you call my name I just I dunno- reacted! I’m so sorry, is your head okay?!” Mikey rambled, releasing Raph from the hug and grabbed his head, shaking and examining him to make sure he wasn’t hurt. He continued to shake Raph’s head up, down, and to the side, making sure there weren't any bruises or cuts anywhere.

Raph struggled but soon got out of Mikey's surprisingly strong hold on his head. The second oldest turtle sighed and patted Mikey’s shoulder, giving him a genuine smirk. “I’m okay, lil bro. I was just jokin’ with ya, the hit wasn’t even that hard.” Raph chuckled, now sitting on the couch as Mikey followed, sitting next to him.

“Are you sure…?” Mikey asked, fiddling with his fingers and looking up at Raph, guilt very evident on his face. “Positive.” The older replied, wrapping the younger into a side hug as the orange banded turtle fully gave into the hug. After a couple of seconds the two released from they’re embrace. The older went to grab the remote and turn on the TV, putting on some random channel before turning to Mikey.

“What’s got you so freaked out like that anyway?” Raph asked, concern written all over his face. Because, yeah, the nunchucks did hurt, badly. Obviously! I mean- they’re nunchucks. C’mon now. Raph’s a strong guy but he’s not that strong for the hit not to hurt. He just didn’t want Mikey to feel worse than he already did.

There’s only been a couple of times where Mikey spaces out, completely unaware of anything that’s happening around him that he just…reacts when he’s able to get back to reality…if that makes sense. All those times being when he was around 7 or 8 years old, or sometimes when he’s really stressed about something. So for him to do it right now is a bit worrying…

Guess old habits die hard.

“It’s Leo…” Mikey said, looking down. Raph’s eyes widened, starting to get up from the couch to grab his sai’s that were on a table, which were just a couple steps away. “What- what happened? Is Leo alright?” Raph asked. Did he miss something important while he took a 2 hour Power Nap? What could possibly have happened in the 2 hours he was taking a nap?! …you know what? No. Why would he even wonder that? The universe has a way of making him and his brother’s lives a literal hell in the key span of 24 hours, who’s to say it didn’t max down to 2?

“What-? No! Nonono! Nothing like that! Leo isn’t in danger or anything!” Mikey reassured Raph as he guided him back on the couch. The older glared at him, slapping Mikey in the back of the head causing him to playfully yell. “Don’t scare me like that again, man…” Raph sighed in relief, at least his older brother wasn't hurt. Physically at least…

“Just…I feel like something’s up with him…y’know?” Mikey sighed. The red banded turtle nodded, letting Mikey know he was listening. “Why don’t you ask him about it then?” Raph asked. “I don’t wanna bother him, though…” Mikey said, slumping on the couch and looking up to the lair’s ceiling, in hopes to find the answer right there. But there was no way it would be that easy…it never is.

“Look. We all know that Leo can be…Leo.” Raph said, wrapping Mikey into another side hug resting his chin on the top of Mikey’s head. “And you know how he can be when we try to get him to talk about his negative feelings; he gets defensive. Which, honestly, I get. It’s hard talking about your negative emotions sometimes.” Raph started, recalling many times where he second-guessed himself to talk to his family about his feelings.

“But we all have to talk about it eventually, because stuffing those kinds of feelings inside yourself is like stuffing an already full suitcase; one of these days it’ll burst. And you will face the consequences and be left to clean it up.” Raph said, releasing Mikey from his hug and smiling at him. “I’m not the best at this whole big bro lesson thing, but just talk to him, Mike. Just talk to him.” Raph smiled, squeezing Mikey’s shoulder comfortingly.

The youngest beamed at that,“Thanks Raph! You’re the best!” Mikey cried, squeezing Raph into a hug. The red banded turtle squaked at the sudden contact, patting Mikey’s head comfortingly before both of them let go of each other. Mikey got up and ran to his eldest brother's room. Now 101% determined to figure out what was bothering his eldest bro. I mean, what could go wrong?

Leo wanted to go up to the surface and jump off the nearest building’s window in hopes he would get absolutely crushed by the upcoming cars of New York City. Which, he knows he shouldn’t say or think…but he really can’t help it right now.

He’s in a Lee mood, a bad one. And he doesn’t know what to do. Like any normal person, they would go and ask a family member or close friend to tickle them, right? Right.

But Leo couldn’t do that.

He just couldn’t.

It’s not like he doesn’t trust his family enough to ask. But he’s the leader, they’re protection, but most importantly, he’s they’re older brother. And he can’t be asking for such childish things out of his younger brothers. He just wouldn’t. So he would do like he did anytime he got into a Lee mood and just…deal with it until it subsided.

Annnndddd now he’s sulking like a little baby because he can’t just simply deal with it. Wonderful.

Just…

Wonderful.

The blue banded turtle sighed, flopping on his bed and burying his face in the pillow, letting out an annoyed muffled groan followed by a couple giggles soon after. Whoever designed pillows, Leo would probably want to marry that person right now because if the groan and giggled weren’t muffled from his pillows, his family would have run into his room, asking him a bunch of questions. Which Leo wasn’t in the mood for. Again, he was in the mood for something else…but he wouldn’t ask for it. There was no way.

Speaking of family, Leo heard a knock at the outside of his door, slightly flinching at the sudden noise. Leo groaned from under his pillow, taking a deep breath, “Who is it?” Leo asked, trying his best to sound at least decent but probably failed. “Hey, Leo!” Mikey greeted, inviting himself into the eldest room, closing the door as he entered. “Hey Mike, what’s up?” Leo asked, getting his head from under the pillow and sitting up on his bed, facing the youngest.

Mikey cleared his throat, going over to Leo’s bed and sitting on the edge of it annddddd oh man. Mikey didn’t plan ahead this far. Mikey sat on the edge of the eldest bed, opening his mouth to say something but quickly closed it. Mikey kept his gaze away from Leo and fiddled with his fingers, trying his best to at least say something but his mouth was not communicating with him at the moment.

The oldest saw the youngests’ fiddling with his fingers in his lap, Leo’s gaze softened as he got out of the covers and sat next to him on the edge of the bed. “You…do know you can tell me anything, right?” Leo said, putting a hand on Mikey’s shoulder. The youngest looked at Leo, face hardening. No! Nononononono! He wasn’t going to fall for this, not again. Not. Again.

This isn’t about him right now, it’s about his eldest brother. That’s the whole freaking reason he came here! To ask if he’s okay! Like hell is he going to change the worryness (A/N: Is that even a word? Worryness? Eh. Whatevs) onto him.

“You should take your own words into consideration, Leo…” Mikey mumbled, turning his face away from Leo, resting his head on both of his palms looking down. Leo looked at him in confusion, sitting closer and pulling him into a hug, resting his chin onto the top of Mikey’s head. The younger leaned into the touch, sighing sadly.

The two knew each other were upset, and wanted to help anyway they could. All of the Hamato brothers might be different people with different personalities, but one thing through all of them stayed the same…

They were stubborn as hell.

“What do you mean, little bro?” Leo asked. The youngest sighed again, resting on Leo’s plastron. “You’ve been kinda…uh I dunno.” Mikey started, “Distant this week?” Mikey said as if he was asking some sort of question, even though that was far from it. He knew his brother was being distant this week.

“Oh…” Leo said flatly, almost as if he was expecting this kind of confrontation about this. Leo figured this would happen sooner or later, just wasn’t expecting it this soon. The two brothers looked at the ground, both not being sure on how to continue the conversation.

“Just…I dunno…I feel as if you’re avoiding us? You’ve been training more than you usually do, doing a lot of mediation, more than Splinter, and you haven’t even watched any Space Hero episodes!” Mikey listed, finger curling into a fist before releasing in soon after. “I…I just wanted to ask if you’re okay…” Mikey said, starting to tear up about the fact that he realized he has never asked that question to Leo before.

“Well…I-“ Leo’s face soon turned a shade of red, the blue cladded turtle released from the hug put his face in his left palm, groaning. “I want to tell you Mike, I really really do but it’s just…embarrassing.” Leo said, looking at the ground, still blushing.

“…Did you get a girlfriend?”

“What? No-“

“Boyfriend then?!? HAH. I KNEW YOU WERE GAY! Raph and Don owe me $50 dollars each and a free pizza!”

“What- why would you- you guys bet if I was-“ Leo pinched the space between his eyes, taking a deep breath. That’s a topic for a different day…

“No, Mikey. I don’t have a significant other.” Leo said, chuckling a bit. Mikey groaned dramatically, flopping on Leo’s bed. “C’mon dude! You can just tell meeee! I promise I won't make fun of you!” Leo sighed and crossed his arms, still looking down.

“Or do I have to tickle the answer out of ya~?” Mikey teased, getting up and starting to wiggling his fingers near Leo’s side as a taunt. Leo started giggling and holding Mikey’s wrists, but not pushing them away at all.

Wait.

This seems so freaking familiar…

When Mikey was about to come into the room, he heard Leo giggling and he swore he saw the blue banded lightly poking himself in the side and skittering his fingers along his own stomach…

Why didn’t Mikey figure this out sooner?!

Leo…

Leo was in a Lee mood…

“Wait…that’s it isn’t it?” The youngest turtle said gasping, “You…want me to tickle you, don’t you?” Mikey grinned as he saw his brother turn a red shade that he couldn’t describe. “Don’t say that out loud.” Leo groaned, getting the courage to glare at his little brother.

Leo looked at his brother before groaning again. “This week I’ve felt…y’know….” Leo said, waving his hands trying to symbolize what he was trying to say because like hell was he going to say the dreaded word…or anything close to it by that matter. Leo began wiggling his fingers lightly before stopping. “That.” Leo said as Mikey listened.

“But…why didn’t you tell us, Leo? We would have understood and we would’ve been more than happy to tickle you!” Mikey said, stopping wiggling his fingers and relaxing on the end of the bed next to Leo.

The oldest sighed, a sigh Mikey knew too well.

With being the youngest, Mikey knew the kinds of sighs Leo did and what each of them meant. Sometimes he did a “Please-stop-joking-around” sigh or an “I’m-older-than-you-therefore-you-have-to-listen-to-me-” sigh, but this one was definitely a “You-wouldn’t-understand” sigh. “That’s- That’s not the same Mikey…you all are younger than I am.”

“…so?”

“So, that means that I can’t get into these weird…funks. It’s childish.” Leo said in a very relaxed tone, as if what he just said wasn’t the absolute dumbest thing Mikey has heard. And that’s saying a lot since the orange banded turtle has heard Donnie talk loads of times, and anything coming out of his immediate older brothers mouth is automatically dumb.

“That’s complete and utter bullshit!” Mikey yelled, getting up from the end of the bed and facing Leo. The oldest flinched slightly at the volume change but continued to look at the floor.

“First, I don’t think you seem to remember, Leo, but we’re quadruplets- dude, we’re the same age. You might be the oldest of us, but not by that much. And secondly, you’re a child too. We’re 15. You don’t have to worry about being childish because you are literally a child!”

“But-“

“Is me, Donnie, and Raph asking you to tickle us childish?” Mikey asked, crossing his arms across his plastron, recalling too many times where he and his other older brothers got into Lee moods and asked Leo to tickle them. “No of course not!” Leo interjected, looking at Mikey and getting up from the bed, eyes widened.

The youngest smiled at the reaction and went back to sit at the end of the bed, anger now gone from before. “So why in the world is you asking one of us to tickle you considered childish, hm?” Leo blushed a bit harder as he kept his gaze at the ground. His little brother actually has a point…which is a first.

After a couple moments of silence the youngest went to sit next to Leo, happy that his eldest brother could see where his reasoning to “being the oldest therefore asking for affection is bad” made no sense whatsoever. Leo sighed for like the millionth time today, putting his hand over his face and slowly dragging it down.

“So…if I asked for you to…to uhm, do uh, yeah. Would you…would you do it?” Leo asked timidly, which was something the orange banded turtle really never saw his older brother express. Mikey only chuckled at the older, beaming happily, “Dude, duh. Why do you think I made that epic speech about it being okay for you to ask for tickles?” Mikey said, crossing his arms and nodding his head in confirmation.

“So…can you…can you do the thing?” Leo asked, blushing again, “If…if you don’t mind-“

“Dude, of course! Literally all you had to do was ask!” Mikey smiled, wrapping Leo into another hug. Mikey then suddenly pushed Leo on the middle of his bed, sitting on top of him before wiggling his fingers over him teasingly. This was also something Mikey didn’t plan out either…the orange banded turtle wasn’t even sure where Leo was ticklish…which made the youngest feel a bit more guilty for not asking him about his Lee mood sooner. But he was gonna find out where his older brother was ticklish, obviously. How hard could it possibly be anyway?

“Just use the code word when you want me to stop, okay?” Mikey said. The oldest firmly nodded as Mikey began to lightly skitter his fingers around his brothers sides; the only spot Mikey knew for a fact Leo was ticklish, recalling too many times where he tased him in the side during training causing the older to stiffen and cover up his sides. Which he was doing right now, actually.

Leo squinted his eyes shut as he hugged his middles and tried to squirm away from Mikey. The younger laughed at how squirmy the older was suddenly but after a couple seconds he was switching between kneading, scratching, and prodding at Leo’s sides but his older brother's reaction was still the same. And he hasn’t even laughed yet! Not a single giggle!

“C’monnnnn! Laugh already!” Mikey whined as he picked up the pace with his side tickling tactic, moving up and down Leo’s sides. The youngest then moved to tickle Leo’s neck, causing Leo to suddenly squeak at the sudden six fingers on the sides of his neck and burst into a somewhat high-pitched laugh, kicking his legs and holding Mikey’s wrists.

“PFF-! NoHoHOh! DahaHaHAmmit!” Leo giggled in defeat, cursing himself for not being able to hold in his laughter any longer than a couple seconds. But Mikey happily smiled, finally being able to make his older brother laugh. “Hah! Works every time: never let them know your next move!”

Leo wholeheartedly glared at Mikey through his laughter as he poked Mikey in the plastron where his lower ribs would be- one of Mikey’s known death spots. The orange banded turtle squealed at the touch, twisting and turning on top of the eldest as Leo continued to tickle him. Oh that little cheater. “HEHEY! Hehey! NohoHOH!” Mikey giggled, wholeheartedly glaring back at Leo who only stuck his tongue out at the younger.

And here Mikey thought he was the little shit of the family.

“Oho you are gonna regret that, Leo” Mikey said as he stuffed his hands in Leo’s underarms. The older screeched, kicking his legs on the bed at a faster pace. “OHO MY GAHAHAD- WAHAIT! NAHAT THEHERE!” Leo cried, as he thrashed underneath as his legs kicked along the bedsheets. Leo put his arms down as he still was holding the youngers wrists as he evily evily traced in his underarm.

“MIHIHIKE! MIHIHIKEY PLEHEHEASE!” Leo laughed loudly, blushing a light red because as much as the older one was enjoying this, it was so embarrassing. Mikey was barely tickling Leo, and he was kicking and thrashing like a little kid. But again, he was enjoying this so he won’t complain.

“That’s what you get for tickling me, bro! I’m the Tickle Monster as of right now and no one tickles the Tickle Monster!” Mikey chuckled at Leo, now beginning to pick up the pace with his tickling at Leo’s underarms. The older whined through his laughter at the change of pace, trying to buck Mikey off of himself but the younger stayed sturdy on Leo’s waist as if it was glue. “IHIHI’M SAHAHAHARRY! Leo yelled.

The younger one laughed at Leo’s reaction to the new pace, deciding to turn it up a notch as he kneaded the sides of Leo’s underarms causing him to do a girly-like shriek and descend into mad-like cackles. “And here I thought the underarms were Raphie’s death spot!” Mikey said teasingly, “You’re literally squirming like a fish out of water!” The orange banded turtle taunted as the older face only reddened more at the teases.

“SHUHUT IHIHIT-! MIHIHIKEY GEHET OHOUT OHOFF THEHERE PLEHEASE!” Leo belly laughed as Mikey only chuckled at the older’s hysteric pleas. “Ihi can’t dude! My hands are completely stuck!” Mikey laughed. If Leo wasn’t laughing his shell off he would have rolled his eyes at that comment, but he can’t. “NAHAHAO THEHEY AHAHAREN’T!” Leo yelled.

“Yehes they are! It seems your amazing incredible strength is keeping my hands here~!” Mikey laughed brightly, completely loving this situation. If you know Mikey you know for a fact that he loves making his brothers laugh, especially Leo, who out of all the turtle brothers laughed the most. So this situation was like pure heaven for Mikey.

Mikey then easily moved his hands out of Leo’s underarms, shaking his hands out before cracking them a bit for dramatic effect. Ugh! Leo knew Mikey could have gotten his hands out anytime he wanted! He just wanted to be an evil little gremlin! Amazing incredible strength my ass. Mikey then held up Leo’s left as he used his other hand to tickle the olders stomach.

And if Leo was yelling earlier, then he was completely screaming up a storm now. Leo hit his free hand at Mikey’s hand, trying to cease Mikey’s cruel attack but when he was close to removing his hand, the younger would suddenly move to a different spot on his stomach, tickling worse where he was in the other spot.

“Awwww, Leo! I’ve never gotten to see you laugh like this, dude! Your laugh is so cute!” Mikey cooed, as Leo’s face turned a deep crimson at the compliment. The older shook his head back and forth, trying to stop the tickling sensation but decided to just give up and accept it as he falled limp on the bed and laughed to his hearts content. “AHAHA NAHAHO! NAHAT THE THEHERE!” Leo laughed louder, tears beginning to prick out of his eyes. “MIHIHIKE *snort* PLEHEHEHEHEASE!”

Mikey immediately stopped tickling Leo, putting his hands to his own chest in alarm at the noise. The blue cladded turtles’ face slowly began to turn a light crimson again, but now his face was a shade of dark red no one would be able to describe.

Leo covered his face completely with his hands, groaning the completely embarrassing noise he just made. The youngest of the twos’ startled look soon morphed into an evil smile, crossing his arms over his plastron in amusement.

There’s no freaking way…

“Oho my gohohod…did you just snort?” Mikey asked cheekily. “Noho ihi dihihidn’t…” Leo lied, almost regretting even asking for Mikey to tickle him…almost. “Dude you totally did! Do it again!” Mikey said as he suddenly dipped his head into Leo’s stomach, blowing a huge loud raspberry causing the older to completely lose his mind in snorts and squeals. “AHA! PLEHEHEASE! MIHIHIKE! *snort* IHIHI’M GOHOHONNA DIHIHIE!” Leo cried, still not fighting back but his legs kicking around all behind Mikey only causing the younger to giggle.

“Raph and Don are gonna get a kick out of this~!” The orange banded turtle said into Leo’s tummy, blowing raspberry upon raspberry not even stopping to give the older one a breather. He wanted to make Leo have a fun time but this was also revenge in some way as well.

“Y’know, your upper body has been getting a lot of attention. Let’s see how ticklish your lower body is, big bro.” Mikey smiled, turning around to Leo’s lower body which caused him to start slapping the back of Mikey’s shell, trying to forcefully push him off.

“EEEAHAHA! NAHAO *snort* DOHOHON’T!” Leo isn’t even sure why he’s screaming bloody murder right now, he doesn’t even know if his lower body is ticklish! But based on the past couple of minutes it wouldn’t be too high of an estimation to say his lower body was just as ticklish.

Mikey poked the middle of Leo’s thigh, causing Leo to let out a glass shattering shriek as Mikey only smiled at the reaction. “Leheeo whahat was thahat?” Mikey amusingly asked. Leo, too embarrassed to even respond just groaned and waved his hand for Mikey to go on with it, knowing there was no stopping his little brother now.

Mikey began to mercilessly squeeze, prod, and knead Leo’s thighs, even sneaking behind his knees and giving them a little pokes before going back to the thighs. Leo was in utter hysterics, not being able to stop Mikey and was forced to kick his legs and uselessly hit the back of his shell.

But obviously none of those tactics works as the younger happily tickles the sh*t out of his thighs. “NOOHOHO NAHAHAH! NAHA- *snort* MIHI- *snort* STAHAP!” Leo wasn’t even able to form a single sentence before going into loud cackles once again.

“OKAHAHAY! OKAHA- *snort* MEHEHERCY *snort* MIHIKAHAHEEY!” Leo cried, finally having enough. The younger sighed but got off his anyways, letting the older take a breather as he sat next to him. “This isn’t over, dude. I still have to tickle some other spots y’know.” Mikey said as he poked Leo on the stomach causing him to let out a soft snort before he poked Mikey back on the side. “Whatehehever…” Leo breathlessly giggled, scared but…honestly excited this wouldn’t be the last time he’d be able to mess around with his brother like this.

“Ahand thahanks, Mihihikey…I appreciate thihis” Leo smiled at Mikey. Now looking back, Leo doesn’t know why he was so afraid to tell his brother what was making him so upset. They’re brothers. They’re family. And like Mikey said before: Leo is a kid. He’s allowed to mess and play around with his brothers. So what if he's the leader? He’s a kid too. And it’s time Leo started realizing that.

“Any time bro, literally anytime!” Mikey chirped. After a couple moments of silence a lightbulb went off in Mikey’s head as he slowly turned his head to the oldest grinning like a fool. “Y’know what I just realized?” Mikey said, leaning on a pillow on the board of the bed. “Whahat?”

“You can’t say Leo without the Lee, get it? Lee-o?” Mikey joked, nudging Leo in the side, his eyebrows raising up and down comically. Leo rolled his eyes wholeheartedly, playfully shoving Mikey’s face away giggling still; due to the aftermath tickles and Mikey’s funny joke. “Ihi gehehet ihit yohou dohork…”

“Just something I thought I’d share.” Mikey shrugged, smiling. Leo rolled his eyes again, now adjusting his place on the bed so he sat next to Mikey. The younger rested his head on Leo’s shoulder as the older leaned in to the touch. “Well thanks for sharing…” Leo muttered. The two sat in comfortable silence for a while, Leo’s giggles now subsisted as the two just enjoyed each other company.

“We heard screaming, are you two okay!?” Raph asked as he slammed Leo’s door completely open causing the oldest and youngest to fall flat on the floor due to the sudden noise and force. Raph gave out a tiny “oops” before getting out of the doorway to let Donnie in who was following him earlier.

Mikey and Leo both exchanged glances before bursting out laughing. The two middle children looked at each other than back at the oldest and youngest complete confusion. “I’m gonna take those hysterics as a ‘yes we are completely fine”?” Donnie asked as him and Raph helped the both of them up so all the turtle brothers were standing. “Yeah, we’re okay.” Leo confirmed as Donnie and Raph relaxed at the olders confirmation.

“Oh! Which reminds me…” Mikey grinned, looking back at his older brother with a Cheshire grin before turning to his two other siblings. Raph and Donnie looked at each other again before looking at Mikey. The two middle children were so so confused as to what was happening as of right now but figured it would be best not to ask any questions. “Raph, Don, I have a little secret about our eldest brother-“

“Mikey-“

“And I’m sure this secret will…how should I put it? Tickle your funny bone...”

——————————————————————————————————

HUZZAH. FINISHING ONE OF MY WIPS- I FEEL SO ACCOMPLISHED U GUYSSSS I HOPE U ALL ENJOYED THIS ONE IT WAS SM FUN TO WRITE

#JABAJAMANSNJA #MY FIRST TMNT 2012 FIC YYAYAYAYAY #My fave pair in the TMNT 2012 verse #I hope I did them justice with this fic <3 #I feel like the more fics I make the more my headcanons keep showing…#I should make a headcanon list it’s getting out of hand lol #But I hope everyone enjoyed this!!!#Writing Mikey and Leo was sm fun #Especially w/ Mikey thinking somethings wrong with Leo #And Leo feeling like he’s “too old” for tickling #Like bro ur 15 stfu #Again #I gotta make some headcanons soon #Tmnt 2012 tickle #Lee!Leo #Ler!Mikey #Also the whole Mikey guessing what’s wrong and the bet thing between Raph and Don was fun to write #AND THE ENDING WAS MY FAVE PARTTTT #2012 Mikey is a menace #If ur ticklish #he’d let the whole universe know #Also I’ve seen ppl talk about how the 2012 boys don’t love each other???#Like did we watch the same show???#They love each other man #Tmnt 2012 tickle fic #Tmnt 2012 tickle fanfiction #💙🧡

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