#they're like my little dolls i put in sad situations but then for the most part give happy endings! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

remotespontaneouscombustion · 2 years ago

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pokemon + darker than black

Fandom Character Opinions

oh boy here we go pfff

Pokemon

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): I think I owe this spot to Red in light of how much commentary I've managed to get from his blog pfff. To this day I still had no idea I had so much to say about Red.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): Xavier/Calem. Literally from day 1 during the first ads of XY I loved him and I still do he is so shaped he is best Kalosian boy.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): Can I call Wally this? I don't feel like he's that underrated but I suppose if you were to call him that, yeah I'd put Wally here. Wally is a good boy he deserves good things.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): Probably Lucy from the Battle Frontier. Ironically her part in the Battle Frontier is the only area I ever managed to come close to beating when I was like 10, she's really cool. I would never have the confidence to roleplay her but she's fun I like her.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): I don't know if I would call Lisia a poor little meow meow but I don't think I hear too many people say they like her these days pff. Probably has a lot to do with how idol culture is incredibly toxic which is a completely valid reason to dislike her. But when I got ORAS and was playing as May I thought they had cute interactions so I suppose I'll just set her here.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): Much more recent character this time, I suppose I'll say Bede. I think he's entertaining, love to see the character development he gets. Very fun very much a little shit. eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): Ghetsis. I don't think I even need to elaborate here do I?

Darker Than Black

Time to link a ton of characters and spoil an entire anime pfff

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): literally you're looking at him. maki maki maki. I've had passionate opinions on his entire life for like 10 years this kid has a grip on my life.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): July, who is ironically a character tangentially involved in getting Maki killed. But I can't help but love him anyway, I honestly love a lot of the characters who are 'dolls' from DtB. July just happens to be my favorite, for the fact that he considers the group that uses him for tracking purposes to actually be his friends; despite the fact dolls don't usually express emotion. But once this is known to them, he sort of becomes the adoptive son of the group. It's very cute July is a good boy. scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): Mai Kashiwagi, joining Maki in the 'I'm a side character with a good story but hardly focused on'. She's an incredibly tragic character who believed herself to be a normal human, and her father tried to keep her that way. But it delayed the inevitable when she ends up becoming a Contractor despite his best efforts. Something to be said for not trying to make someone be something that they're not or you will face the consequences and hurt everyone involved. glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): can I say maki again-- no? okay :( I think I'll go with Nick Hillman, who is literally just a guy. I mean he's still a Contractor but he just looks like such a normal guy, and for a little while he has a genuinely nice moment with Hei that I remember very vividly. I feel like if he wasn't in this situation in the show, he and Hei probably could've been close and it makes me sad that they never get that.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): I don't think this character is controversial? But like, in-universe she sure is. Havoc is definitely a poor little meow meow, she has a horrible ability that causes mass destruction and I won't get into what her 'payment' is, but you could say it makes her into a vampire in probably one of the worst ways possible. She hates it and was much happier with her life when her powers faded, but her episode ends with those powers returning and her having to be killed. It's probably what she would've wanted but I sincerely liked her and her fucked up story. horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): I want to say Hei but it feels so mean to him he already goes through this enough pff. He's our main character and I want to torture him even more? He's so sad in season 2 even pfff. But yeah, Hei. I think he could take the horse plinko.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): AMBER. For negative anyway. I feel like I don't even need to explain this. Superhell positive I guess? November 11? I don't hate the guy for what he did to Maki despite the fact by all accounts you'd think I would pff. But nah, I think his character is interesting enough. But have fun in superhell for killing my actual favorite.

#well that's not who should be talking 💥 ooc #jocundcompany #THANK YOUUU oh boy dtb's side got long

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crazilust · 2 years ago

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Disney characters as zodiac sign : Lilo in Lilo & Stitch

So, I've decided to watch all the Disney movies because ... Why not. I decided to start with Lilo. Let's dive deep into her character using astrology. It's possible certain placements could not be accurate because of how the planets move, but this is just for fun.

Sun sign ☀️

To me, Lilo is the embodiment of an Aquarius sun trying to fit in. As the movie starts, it is pretty clear how Lilo is being perceived amongst her peers. A weirdo. Every Tuesday, she feeds a fish a peanut butter sandwich so it can regulate the weather. She gets made fun of almost immediately and Lilo doesn't seem to understand why. Being the outsider is something that most Aquarius placements, but mostly suns, has had to deal with. I would argue that as a child, it is harder for them. As they grow up, they understand that it's in fact a good thing and they can get things done in an unique way. But when they're younger, this trait makes them feel like an alien. They don't seem to understand why they can't just fit in. Pretty much a loner, Lilo has a hard time making friends because the other little girls don't seem to have the same interests. They're disgusted by Lilo and everything surrounding her : her DIY doll, her "dog" (Stitch), etc. Again, being an Aquarius sun, she doesn't really understand how to fit in and is cast away for it. She also has a really high imagination and uses it to cope with her environnement. The fish one is a good example, but there's also when her sister Nani had been fired. She then told Lilo it's because the manager was a vampire and Lilo whispered : "I knew it". She's also extremely insightful. She understands the depth and importance of certain things without having to be told about it. For example, when she sees David (Nani's friend) and Nani interact, she then tells David that her sister likes her and that he shouldn't worry too much. Just by observing David, she could tell that he was anxious and insecure about wether or not Nani liked him back.

2. Moon sign 🌙

After her fight with the girls and them making fun of her doll, Lilo runs home, shut the door and plays Elvis' music laying down on the floor. Her emotions come crashing down on her and she accepts them fully. As I was watching that, I could only think of her being a Cancer moon. Cancer being at home in this placement, it makes sense that she feels comfortable with her emotions and she doesn't try to push them away. She does that pretty much the whole movie, in fact. When she's mad, she yells and fights, when she's sad, she cries or lays down, when she's happy, she laughs and hugs the people that make her happy. She is completely at ease with her inner world and doesn't feel the need to shame herself for being emotional. She is also pretty sensitive and reacts in an emotional way to almost every situation as opposed to a rational way. After all, she does get emotional pretty quickly and her mood can change pretty quickly as well.

3. Mercury sign 🔍

Lilo has a way of talking that is impulsive, cheerful, loud, optimistic, and easy going. That, my friend, is a Leo mercury. She has no shame sharing what's going on inside because it feels like she needs to be heard, and that what she is going through is valuable enough to be shared. She never shy away to say what needs to be said and what she has been going through. She can, however, be a little self righteous and impulsive (I'm aware she is also a child lmao). For example, in the beginning of the movie, when she got into a fight with Nani, she yells at her sister that she's a bad sister because she's not listening to her and not understanding her pain. Again, I'm aware she's a child and children are pretty self centered to begin with, but I'm sure some of y'all would not have said that to your care taker simply because it's not in your personality to do so. Lilo most definitely puts her feeling and her perspective before anything else. When Nani wants to get rid of Stitch because he's causing them problems, Lilo refuses and starts screaming that she can't give him away because family never gets left behind. Lilo always makes sure that her beliefs will get heard, one way or another.

4. Mars sign 🔥

Let's continue with mars, as I believe Lilo has a Leo mars, as well. Like I stated earlier, Lilo is particularly impulsive and that's how I knew her mars had to be fire, at least. But why Leo? Like I said earlier, Lilo is really emotional, and I've stated before that, that would make her a Cancer moon. But it's the way she decides to act on that emotion that you can see her mars placement. Let's go back to that first scene when she was laying down on the ground. Nani was trying to get inside because she was expecting the social worker. Lilo was having none of it. She turned the music louder and kept singing. Dra-ma-tic. I love this scene, don't get me wrong, but man is she dramatic 🤣. And that's the Leo flair, baby! That was for her sadness, but she expresses herself in the same kind of way when she gets mad. She jumped on one of the little girl and bit her the second she made fun of her. Nani even asked her afterwards if she fought...again. So this is a recurrent thing. But the mars placement also tells you about how creativity gets expressed and Lilo is pretty creative. She loves dance and is good at it, she loves drawing and painting, she loves reading, she loves photography. With Leo mars, they have this deep need of expressing themselves no matter the medium. It's important for them to feel loved and respected amongst their entourage, which seem to be the case for Lilo as well.

5. Venus sign 💗

Loyal, caring, patient. I truly believe that Lilo has a Cancer venus. Let me explain. Lilo has suffered a lot (although not completely shown) with her relationships. She's been teased by her classmates, her parents have died and the relationship with her sister seem strained. At the beginning of the film, we see Lilo praying for a friend. Nani hears that, and decides to take her to the dog shelter to pick a dog. And she chooses Stitch. As we all know, Stitch turns out to be pretty chaotic and destroys everything as this is what he's been designed to do. As someone who's been disappointed so much in relationships, you would think she would return Stitch and close her heart off not to get hurt again. But she doesn't. She is completely aware of Stitch's bad behavior and wants to improve is. She loves him, despite that. The thing with Cancer venus is that, when they love, they love deep. They are loyal and understanding and will not leave you until you threaten something of theirs. They are extremely protective. That's actually what happens with Stitch. The house gets destroyed because of him, she gets separated from Nani and that's when Lilo has had enough. She does, always, see the good in people even if there is not much there. It does push people around her to be better and, in return, give her the love she deserves.

6. The rising and her chart 🅰️

Gemini rising

Curious, talkative, not shy to express herself, knows many random facts, creative, and seems to be up to no good.

Moon and Venus in the Second house

Her emotions are linked to her self worth. The love she receive and give is linked to her self worth.

Mars and Mercury in the Third house

Mars and mercury. Mercury is at ease in this house. She feels no problem expressing herself. She is intelligent and aware of her surrounding, Her emotions wants to come out in the form of self expression, as Mars is there as well.

Sun in the Ninth house

Her principles are high, and they cannot move unless she decides to. She seems to has a very strong sense of what is right and what's not, even though it can appear hypocritical at times.

-------------------------------

Aaaand that's it from me, guys. I'm sorry I've been MIA for a while, I had a new job and things went kind of south. Anyways, I'm back, back, back again! I feel so happy to get back on tumblr, I was on Tiktok for way too long.

Yours truly,

Dolly.

#astro community #astrology #astrology observations #birth chart #astro notes #astroblr #astrology notes #cancer #aquarius #leowomen #virgotraits #capricorn #astroanalysis #anextremesweetheart #disney movies #disney #walt disney #lilo and stitch

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euphoriic-dysphoria · 3 years ago

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Blue hair - Bucky Barnes

Firs time posting something like this on Tumblr, I welcome constructive criticism, anything to make my writing better and easier to read. As long as you're not an ass about it.

Summary: you've wanted to dye your hair for sometime now, but you're too scared to do it all by yourself and it seems like a whole big thing now that you keep kinda wanna do with a friend. Yes I'm projecting😅😅

THERE MIGHT BE A PART TWO, NOT REALLY SURE YET.

Warnings ⚠️ : none, just extreme flustered bucky, whipped bucky, fluff ig yeah. Without further ado,

Bucky was falling for you. Hard. He fell more each and everyday, but somehow, you were either not into him at all, or painfully oblivious.

He said painfully, because everytime you expressed even the slightest discomfort, even if on the Quinjet you just couldn't fall asleep, bucky just had this inexplicable urge to suddenly bring you all the pillows in the world to make you happy and laugh and smile your beautiful smile.

Bucky wasn't stupid. He'd seen how smart you were on missions, and how fast you'd solved riddles to annoy Tony. You would never be oblivious to things like this. He'd long ago accepted that he was just gonna be a friend to you, of course that didn't stop him from daydreaming about you, or freezing up everytime you brushed your arm with his.

After all, some might assume what with bucky falling head over heels for you (literally, but that's a story for another time, including Sam and being at the beach) that you guys were probably best friends or at least pretty close. Nope. Bucky was embarrassed to say that you stole away all his old fashioned Brooklyn charm the minute you were in a 2 meter radius. He was so nervous he stumbled over his words and opted to just stay quiet and enjoy your presence.

Of course, you thought that bucky was just naturally shy, and well- akward. It never occurred to you that you were the cause of that shyness, but you didn't mind. You found it endearing and utterly adorable the way a pale pink would wash over his features, and brush across his nose.

Today, he was utterly relaxed, pink free, in his room in the Avengers tower, reading and trying to get the thought of you out of his mind. That was hard when abruptly a hard knock sounded at his door, and he was just about to turn around and ignore it, when he heard you mumbling and thinking outside. Supersoldierhearing

Closing his book, he straightened up and furrowed his brow, thinking as to why you'd be outside his room. He hoped everything was alright.

"buckkyyyyyyyy! Woa-hiya, how are YOU on this verrrry fine morning?" You stumbled into his room, bucky was so deep into his thoughts he wasn't aware he opened the door so suddenly, you almost fell in.

A whirlwind of chaotic energy, you recovered quickly and jumped about, before turning back to where bucky was frozen at his door.

You were only wearing a T shirt.

Now, it was 7 in the morning, and most of the avengers were well aware that you walked around in a t-shirt in the mornings, well, only Steve and Nat cause they were the only ones that woke up then. Normally, bucky wakes up earlier to do his run, and so by the time you wake up, he's showered and reading in his room.

Shaking his head a bit to uh, clear up his thoughts, he quietly trudged back to his bed, where you were sitting and excitedly bouncing up and down on.

You gave him a good morning half hug, as you were practically buzzing with energy.

Oh. That alone was more that enough to make Bucky's cheeks start to glow a dusty pink.

However, you were already setting up the boxes of hair dye on his night stand.

"ok. Alright buck, are you ready for maybe the most important decision of your lifetime?? Ahem-" Buckys eyes widened as you did a little drumroll, jiggling your thighs and bringing up your shirt a bit, but you were too absorbed in the boxes you didn't even notice.

In your best announcer voice, you looked at him and grinned. "Blue, or red?" Holding up each colour respectively.

Huh? Bucky was so focused on your smile he practically missed what you said, which would've been hella embarrassing.

"uh- I'm not- where is this coming from?" Bucky almost winced at his voice, coming out hoarse and deep.

With an angelic smile on your face a devil would fall for, you patiently explained the hair dye situation. You wanted to dye your hair. Check. You already bought the hair dye. Check. And last but not least, now you were waiting on one of your friends to reply to you about dying their hair too. This wasn't a demanding act, for you only hit up the people you knew also had wanted to dye their hair too.

"i-i uh whyreyaaskingme?" Oh god. Before Bucky had anytime to mentally smAcK himself for mumbling like that, you were already replying.

With a soft smile you said, "well of course I'm asking you buck, I don't think it's very nice to knock on people's doors at 7 in the morning unless they're awake, and Nat and Steve left together to get coffee. Plus, I trust your opinion, I'm sure you have an excellent sense of style." You teased, reminding him of the time he refused to wear a ridiculous suit that Tony had jokingly, not really, designed.

Buck sighed quietly, as you made your way to the bathroom to compare the colours. Ouch. It was never a nice feeling to know you had come to him out of necessity. Little did he know, you had earlier rushed Nat and Steve straight outta here, in attempts to build a closer bond with bucky. Those two just shared a smug little knowing look, before hightailing it right out of the tower.

Lost in his thoughts, bucky didn't realize you had stopped muttering to yourself about the hair colours.

It was quiet. Too quiet. In the bathroom, there was absolutely no sound.

Bucky frowned, making his way over, and knocked on the door.

"can-uh do you mind if I come in?" Bucky knocked.

The door creaked open, and Bucky peeked inside to find your dejected expression and little pouty lips as you sat on the edge of the sink counter, scrolling through your phone.

"hey- wh-whats wrong doll?" Aw jeez. Cut it out, he said firmly in his head. Stop stuttering, just talk to her like a normal person.

"you- wanna tell me why you're looking like a sad puppy down over here?" Bucky's breath hitches as he's in the middle of berating himself for comparing you to a puppy, when you finally look up and meet his eyes, droplets threatening to leak and break past your waterline.

Bucky's heart just about cracks at the sadness radiating off of you. As far as he knows, you of all people should never have to feel this sad. All nervousness forgotten, he quickly bends down and tilts your chin up, tenderly wiping away the tears that have now started their journey down your cheeks.

It's been 5 minutes of you and him, leaning against each other as he wipes away the quiet tears that keep replacing each other.

Finally, in a quiet voice, you explain. At first it was just the dissapointment of no one wanting to really dye their hair with you. But you understood. Really, it was early in the morning, and it was easy to see why people didn't wanna dye their hair right away, or at all even. You completely and totally respected them and their choices. But then, you thought, maybe they're annoyed at me. Maybe, they don't like me anymore. Maybe they wish I'd leave them alone. Maybe they'd be better off without me.

You were well aware you were spiralling, but after the negative thoughts started, it was hard to stop. You had anxiety of these types of things.

Countless times, Nat and Wanda had had to reassure your wanted presence and that the team did love you.

While you were explaining, Buckys arms slowly snaked around to embrace you, and put his chin on top of you head. He was sad, simply because you were.

But listening to your thought process made him realize that you were human too, and it opened his eyes to listen to your anxiousness, no matter how much it still hurt.

Uh oh. The feeling was coming back, tugging at bucky, eating him away, making him want to do anything to make you happier.

Tightening his arms around you one last time before releasing you, he blurted, "uh- I'll dye m-my hair."

Your eyes widened. A small smile slowly creeped onto your tear streaked face. "Yo-you'd do that f-for me?" You hiccuped.

Holy shit. Oh man. Bucky would've tattooed his face if it gave you that little glowing smile and hopeful face you were giving to him now.

"Oh doll. You wouldn't believe what I'd do for you."

PART TWO IS NOW UP

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frenchbotanicalposter · 2 years ago

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Tldr: I think Azula deserves help, but she's also a bitch.

Don't get me wrong, I think Azula's arc IS sad, and she deserves pity for what happened to her.

But like I don't think all of her tendencies are a product of abuse.

Azula KNOWS what she is doing is wrong, and we can see it displayed through their childhood memories. Every time she does something mean, there's no adults around. And when there is, she acts all innocent like nothing happened. Like with burning the doll? She knows it's bad, but has fun doing it, just look at the smile on her face. When she tells Zuko about Azulon going to kill him, she acts all innocent when Ursa walks into the room. But when she's telling Zuko? She's happy.

At the Agni Kai, she is smiling. Right along with Zhao looking like Zuko deserves it. Getting joy from it.

"Azula always lies." You think that came from one or two conversations? Zuko had probably been putting up with her lies and manipulation every time their parents weren't around.

"My own mother thought I was a monster. She was right though, but it still hurt." (Can't remember the exact line but it's basically that.) She HERSELF recognized that there is something fundamentally different between her and Zuko. She likes hurting people, and not just those outside of her loved ones. We see another good example with Ty Lee and the circus.

Now I'm also NOT saying that Ursa didn't love Azula. I bet you she did So Much, and I bet she always attempted to help her because she loved her, and didn't want Azula to end up like Ozai. But every time she got onto Azula for the behavior, it felt like an attack on who she is.

Even when she's hallucinating Ursa, Ursa says that she loves her. And I don't think Azula didn't know that. I don't think Ursa was afraid OF Azula, but was afraid FOR her. It's a big difference.

I don't think Ursa loved her less than she did Zuko. In the flashbacks, all we see is Zuko's relationship with their mom for the most part, because that's who we're meant to connect with and understand more. To see why he may not be as bad as he seems. Because in reality, the story IS about him more than it is about her.

Side note, some people think Iroh didn't love her as much as he did Zuko, and I guess that could be true in some ways, but I think he still loves her. "'She's crazy and she needs to go down.' Iroh obv doesn't love her because he wants to take her down." Yeah but like, haven't you ever loved a person, despite knowing that they're bad for you?

Azula could have killed Iroh. He could have died from infection. I think for him, that's the turning point in which he knows that Azula needed to be taken out of power, because she WILL kill anyone who stands in her way. He can't put her on the throne because she thinks the same way Ozai does.

And I don't care how smart Azula is, as a child, you can't fully comprehend all of the emotions and factors that go into a situation. She was fourteen and still couldn't understand why Mai and Ty Lee would turn against her. Sure, these behaviors were encouraged by Ozai after Ursa left, but as a teenager I thought I was always right, but now as a twenty three year old I look back and see how ignorant I was to things.

She didn't understand why Ozai didn't love her. If she was as smart as she thought she was, she would have figured that out already. But she's a CHILD who just wanted someone to love her. And after Ursa was removed from the picture? All that left was Ozai.

I bet she also didn't understand why her mom always got onto her for her bad behavior. Like I said earlier, she probably felt like it was an attack on who she was and hated her mom for that, not understanding that Ursa was afraid of Ozai, and dreaded the thought of her little girl ending up like him.

Zuko looks like Ozai, but is more like their mom. Azula looks like Ursa but acts more like their father. I bet as soon as Ursa saw what was happening, she tried her damnedest to protect Azula from him.

So yeah, do I think that she's brutal, manipulative, and likes hurting the people around her? Absolutely. Do I still think she deserves help? 100%. She's a child and deserves the chance to learn and grow and try to be a better person.

#atla #azula #avatar the last airbender #listen #i know if this blows up people are gonna be going for my throat #but also i think people need to hear it

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rogue-barnes-16 · 5 years ago

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WHEN YOU COME BACK (part II/II)

Summary: After months of being friends with benefits, the dangerous agreement backfires and Bucky’s feelings for Y/n are exposed. Instead of talking it out, they make the situation worse, and it might get more difficult after a dangerous mission.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Genre: angst w/ a pleasant ending

Tags:

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @1a-girl-has-no-name1 @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125 @unlikelygalaxygiver

Warnings: language, injuries

A/N: here it is my dudes. It was, for some reason I can't understand, heavily inspired by When the party's over by Billie Eilish, Haunted by Melanie Martinez, and What about us by P!nk. Just a little curiosity for y'all, hope you enjoy <3.

Part I

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

That night that we accidentally found each other in a shitty bar on our way out of Stark's house after Tony and Natasha's funeral, we shouldn't have lost control.

We wouldn't be in this situation, maybe I would haven't fallen that hard for him, and maybe he wouldn't think he loves me now.

We probably would be friends, close friends, or at least regular people who don't have to hide that they're sleeping with each other.

"Hey there, stranger." his voice was broken. He stumbled to the booth I was occupying, and I realized he was somehow as drunk as me. "rough week?"

"rough five years." I corrected him, sniffing. "It doesn't seem to get better." I felt the lump in my throat mixed with my hoarse voice as I chucked another shot of tequila. When I looked up at him, I noticed how red her eyes were. "what's wrong?"

"A lot." he replied, easing his position to rest against the backrest of the booth. "Never got to tell Natalia I remember." he shrugged. "Also wanted to... Apologize to Stark. Didn't get the chance to." he shut his eyes.

"Somethin' else." I stated more than questioned. "it's somethin' else."

He hesitated before looking at me with glassy eyes "can I tell you a secret?" I nodded lazily, muttering an 'always'. "Steve's leaving."

"What?" I frowned, sitting upright. "Where?"

He shook his head no with a sad smile in his face, a sad smile that held little happiness and too much sorrow. "When, not where."

"Director Carter..." I spoke in low voice, and Bucky nodded at me. I looked down, not knowing what to say. "at least he's got his happy ending."

"Yeah." tears streamed down his face as he drank from what I recognized as Thor's flask. "I'm happy for him." I tilted my head in disbelief and he denied slowly. "I really am."

"It's just the two of us now, Bucky." I whispered leaning against the wall to face him. "you should be selfish once in a while" I advised, scooting closer to him. "say what you think, no matter who gets hurt." our thighs were brushing as I leaned on him a little too close to whisper something in his ear. "you don't owe anything to this fucked up world."

His head spun and our eyes met. "I don't." he affirmed, letting his hand drop to my thigh as mines traveled to his hair. "you don't either." he bit his lip and I sighed. "You don't have to be strong all the time."

"what...?" I questioned quietly, too focused on his lips to even process what he was saying.

"Allow yourself to cry for 'em doll." his mutter made me let out a strained, shaky breath, remembering why I had hidden in a bar in order to numb my pain, remembering why I hadn't stayed with the rest in Pepper's house. "It's just the two of us now, Y/n..."

I looked up at him through glassy, blurred eyes just to see his in the same state. His eyes flickered to my lips, just like mines had been staring St him that whole time, and something took over the both of us.

It was probably the sadness, at least partially, and the thinking that losing more wasn't possible anymore, what made us close the gap in a sloppy, needy kiss, which would be the first of many, that night and the followings.

I had desperately wanted to apologize to Bucky for two days, in hopes of getting our friendship back.

I figured he didn't inform me he was back because he didn't want to see me, and that mere thought made my heart shrink until it physically hurt.

I was getting dressed when my phone buzzed. "Sam?" I called him, utterly confused. Sam rarely phoned me, he would just show up at my door. "what's wrong?"

"The mission went wrong. So fucking wrong." I couldn't ask about Bucky before he resumed his narration. "Listen to me carefully, 'cause he made me promise I wouldn't tell you shit."

"what- why?" I inquired, sitting down in my couch.

"Those fuckers were shooting me, there was no way I could dodge all of 'em, and that dumbass jumped in fucking front of me." his voice was strained due to the anger and the worry, and I felt my heart pounding against my chest. "he received two bullets. He's in the Avengers' private hospital. Pepper got us in."

"he what..." I was already grabbing my things to rush there, but he spoke again.

"you can't come, he'll kill me if he sees you here." Sam pointed out.

"why the fuck are you telling me then, Wilson?" it was desperate, and it was shaky, but I managed to get that question put of me without breaking.

"What the hell? 'Cause you're good for him, and I don't want you to think he dumped whatever you guys have." I stood there, my mouth in agape at his words. "Sharon's telling me she'll take care of the paperwork so we can go home in a couple of days."

"okay..."

"Go see him at his apartment on... Monday." he advised me. "at 9 pm, he won't have an excuse to avoid you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Despite the fact that he knew I would definitely not forget about the day and the time he had told me, on Sunday Sam called to remind me it, and also to inform me that he had just left Bucky’s apartment. He was now there resting, and would be until tomorrow morning.

On Monday, at 9 pm I was carefully knocking on Bucky’s door, and he answered in no time.

"Sam, you better bring Chinese food you promised or-" he stood there, resting all his weight against the door and the door frame, taking in the fact that I was there. "Fuck..."

I had planned a whole speech, apologizing for what I had said in a thousand different ways, telling him how much I didn't want to lose him, and maybe, just maybe, confessing my feelings about him.

But everything was gone the moment I saw his bruises, his bandaged body under the tee, peeking out of the collar, the way he barely could stand upright.

Everything was gone. "what the fuck..."

"he told you, didn't he?" I couldn't even look at him in the eye, but I just knew he didn't either, just by how hurt and tired his voice sounded. "that's why you're here."

"I—"

"I'm fine Y/n..." he assured me, bitterness fading from his voice the second he started to sympathize with how I must be feeling, the second he imagined the situation reverted. The way guilt and fear most likely would have been killing him slowly. "I just need a few days to heal... You don't need to—"

He gasped when I my arms embraced him almost desperately as I tried to convince myself that I wouldn't lose him. "I swear on my fuckin' life, Barnes—" I choked on my words and he wrapped his arms around me not without closing the door to rest his back against it. "don't do this to me alright?" he took a deep breath with his nose buried on my crown as his thumbs caressed both my back and my shoulder. "don't-- I can't lose you... Not you-- please not you."

I didn't realize I was sobbing until I didn't feel my tears on his shirt. "You won't" ha assured me, trying to keep his voice uniform for me not to notice that he was crying too. "I'll heal soon, don't worry." his breath was sharp as he squeezed my body against him, despite the pain that he most probably was feeling. "I got you."

I pulled away when my hands accidentally sneak under his shirt and felt the bandages. "you gotta lay down."

"yeah, you're probably right."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"If you're here to apologize 'cause you feel guilty or bad... Don't." he requested, looking up at me from my lap. "you really don't need to." his voice slowly started to drop when I ran my hands through his hair. "It was my fault... I shouldn't have... Said..."

"I love you."

"yeah."

"No, Bucky." I stopped my motions and looked at him dead in the eye. "I love you. I have done for a long time." he was quiet. "When you said... I really didn't wanna believe it... I don't know I just—" I sighed, shutting my eyes and leaning against the backrest. "I don't-- I don't wanna lose more people that I love and if I didn't say it out loud, I felt-" I took a deep breath, swallowing the lump forming in my throat. "I felt like I wouldn't lose--"

I didn't even feel when he had propped himself up to reach me, I only felt his velvety soft lips against mine in the most loving, sweet kiss I had ever had.

"I get it, but we... We gotta be brave." he stated, laying down again with a wince, gazing into my now open eyes. "we don't have regular lives... And I didn't wanna say it out loud either but... I- I needed you to know." I nodded, letting my fingers ran through his short hair once more. "I don't wanna lose you, but let's be honest, that possibility exist, and..." his voice started to drop again, slowly being lulled by my touch. "I'd rather having you know how much... How much you mean to me... Than regretting not... Tellin' ya all my life..."

"You're right." I replied, leaning over to peek his lips, and then his forehead. "I'm sorry for the way I reacted... I really, really am." my thumb rubbed lazily his forehead as my eyes observed him with the love I finally was able to disclose.

"Y/n." I hummed. "lay down with me, please." he requested, lifting for my to move my legs. "I wanna hug you again." I complied without hesitation, being careful not to hurt him. "I love you." He whispered in my ear, pulling me up to rest half of my body over him.

"I love you too."

#Bucky Barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes x you #Bucky Barnes fic #Bucky Barnes fanfic #Bucky Barnes angst #Bucky Barnes smut #Bucky Barnes masterlist #The Winter Soldier x reader #The Winter Soldier fic #The Winter Soldier x you #Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff #Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers #Bucky Barnes x Sam Wilson #F&tws #Marvel fic #The white wolf x reader #The Winter Soldier smut #Marvel imagine #When you come back

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rainywritingsx · 5 years ago

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Torn • BNHA X OC • Chapter 8

Finally, a new chapter ^^ I'm so so happy to see that this book is gaining more reads oj my Wattpad each day, and your comments motivate me to write more! I'm overjoyed that you guys are enjoying the story just like I am and I hope that you'll continue to do so in the future :). Anywayyy, onto the chapter now, enjoy!

You can find the prologue for the story here, and on my masterlist you’ll find all of the chapter ^^

Upon seeing my astounded expression, a mischievous smirk covered the stranger's face. For a moment, the both of us were silent, just looking at each other. I was at a loss for words and he just seemed to enjoy watching me being uncomfortable. My breath hitched in my throat as I tried calming down. His eyes were captivating to say the least. My eyes slowly scanned the rest of him, though it was dark there were a few things that stood out, immediately noticing the scars that covered majority of his body. What I assumed were staples were used to keep it all together, and I noticed he also had a few piercings. His hair was dark from what I could tell and he was taller than me.

This really caught me off guard. I definitely did not expect our paths to cross again.

"I see you do recognise me, don't you sweetheart?" The nickname caught me by surprise, which I tried to hide by looking away, but to no avail. He wasn't even trying to help, since it seemed that my flustered state was very amusing to him.

"Is this how you thank your saviour? I'm really hurt, princess." He said as he faked sadness and placed a hand on his chest, which I couldn't help but giggle at involuntarily.

"Ah, you're not mute. I knew it." he chuckled softly.

"Hey! I'm just... a little shy, that's all." I said as I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

"I see." and then it was silent again.

"Uhm," I finally spoke up again. "thank you. For earlier, I mean. I don't know what would've happened if you didn't save me."

"Princess, are you really thanking a villain?" He sighed. "I just did what anyone else would've done. Those bastards are all talk. They think they're cool until a real villain shows up." I slightly tilted my head. a real villain..? That was interesting of him to say. What was a real villain to him?

Hold on, Janie. why were you even curious about this? He's just some stranger that you happened to recognise, that was all.

"Anyway, you should probably go home now, cupcake. These places aren't exactly fit for people like you." I narrowed my eyes at that second sentence. What exactly did he mean by that?

"People like me?"

"Oh come on, doll. You know exactly what I mean, you just don't want to admit that to yourself." I couldn't help but pout. Maybe I did know, but I was just hoping that I was still wrong for some reason.

"Hey, I'm not as weak as you think I am." He scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Oh, pardon me." He began, eyes slightly wide and his tone higher. "The oh-so-precious Janie Kotu is of course the most powerful, with her parents being the most notorious villains at the moment. She will definitely become just like them too." He faked a bow and looked at me from below his lashes. "My sincere apologies, milady."

"Look, I know I may seem a bit spoiled, but that doesn't mean that I'm incapable of doing anything."

"You might have strength, but do you even want to become like them? Does your power matter at all if you're not even passionate about what you do?" How did he know that?... Wait, no. For all I knew he could just be bluffing, right?

"I know that right now your heart lies somewhere else. But why? Are those heroes really any better than us? They're all stupid fakes."

"No, that's not true." I protested. "All might is-"

"Ah, yes, All Might." He interrupted "The only one who actually cares. But he's retired as of right now, hasn't he? He can pretend all he wants, but he's not as strong as he used to be."

"Okay, hold on, why are you even saying all of this?" Where did all of that come from? He barely knew me, so why was he just starting to tell me all this? "You don't know me! You may know my name, but I don't even know yours."

"Oh, my sincere apologies princess." He said in a 'sincere' tone and made a fake deep bow again. "The name is Dabi." His tone was lower again, which sent shivers down my spine for some reason.

"Look princess, you just... how do I say this," he thought for a little before looking back at me again. "you just spark my interest, that's all." I could hear the smirk in his voice. "A villain in making who also wants to attend UA at the same time? Sounds pretty interesting if you ask me." upon hearing this a gasp left my mouth as my eyes widened. How did he know? If he knew, who else saw me too that day?

The stranger chuckled, clearly noticing my shocked reaction. "Don't worry sweetheart, I'm not planning on telling anyone." He stopped and leaned down towards me, making me back up slightly. "What I will do though, is tell you that you're making a huge mistake. That oh-so-perfect little world of heroes that you dream of... In reality, it's no better than this here." I scoffed as I crossed my arms, not losing eye contact with him.

"How would you even know that?" He was just bluffing, right?

"I have my ways, doll." He chuckled. "But, you know, I'm not forcing you not to go or anything of course." I frowned and eyed him suspiciously.

"After all, I think it will be quite amusing to say the least, watching you realise all of what I said yourself. You might even regret not listening to me."

"I really don't get you... Can we just go? Please?" I sighed, tired of his rambling that I wasn't in the mood for.

"Alright, sweetheart. Where do you live?" I narrowed my eyes at him. Did he really think I was going to tell him my address?

"Oh, you do have some common sense I see. Good, because your knight in shining armor won't be there for you every time."

"Can you just walk with me until we get to that cat café that's not too far from here?" I said, not reacting to his comment. He chuckled and hummed in agreement before we started walking.

To my surprise, the walk was actually silent and peaceful. Dabi didn't really speak, and I wasn't in the mood of speak. Realisation of how dangerous the previous situation could've been had hit me and all I wanted to do was go home right now.

Dabi probably had sensed my discomfort, because when we got to the café he didn't make a witty remark or use a cheesy pet name on me.

"Alright, Janie. I'll go my own way from here now." For some reason, I didn't like the way he spoke. No, it wasn't because I liked his witty remarks and cheesy nicknames, I just wasn't used to it. Wait Janie, what even was there to get used to to begin with? I barely knew him.

"Okay." Was all I said to him. But there was a part of me that longed to see him again. I wanted to keep in touch with him, I wanted to know more about him. How did he know I took part in UA's entrance exam? How could he read me that easily? So far nobody had really figured that this wasn't what I wanted...

Dabi nodded, sent me a tiny smile before turning around to leave. I turned around as well, going my own way but it still feeling wrong. I stopped dead in my tracks and bit my lip. My goodness, what was wrong with me?

I turned back around, only to see that Dabi was still walking. A quiet sigh escaped my mouth. Why was I hoping that he would turn back around? Why was my heart pounding right now?

No Janie, you just weren't used to this. You didn't have friends, you weren't used to guys paying attention to you. This was just like the entrance exam, nothing to worry about. I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts before turning back around to walk back home. I wasn't going to look back anymore. That was nothing. I didn't feel anything.

Once I got home, I immediately went to my room, not being in the mood to talk to anyone. Not that my family was that talkative towards me anyway.

I plopped down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. Flashbacks of today came to mind, causing me to shiver for a moment. Was I going to tell my parents about this? No, they and my brothers would laugh at me...

Then Dabi crossed my mind. Dabi... Wait, why was I thinking about him? He saved me and was just an interesting person, that was all. nothing else. We happened to see each other twice, but I would probably never ever see him again. Obviously I didn't mind that.

Janie, how naive you were.... I had no idea what the universe had in store from me from that day on. it's all his fault. because of him you are in this situation right now, years later...

.......................................................................................

A few days later, I almost had a heart attack when I checked the mail and saw a letter for me from UA. I didn't think I'd get the results back so quickly! Wait, what if my parents or brothers saw it? No no, they would have told me probably. I wasn't dead yet, so they obviously hadn't seen the letter, right?

In my panicked state I nonchalantly hid it in my bra to be sure that nobody would see it. I put the rest of the letters we received together in a neat pile and calmly went to my room.

As I made my way to my bedroom, my heart was racing. Was I accepted? Was I not? What class would I be in? What would I even do if I was accepted? Was I really going to try living a double life? For how long was that even going to work? What if anyone found out? No wait. I didn't even know if I was accepted into the school at all, so I was not going to worry about other things until I had read the letter.

I entered my room and made sure to close the door before walking to my desk and sitting on my chair. While taking the letter out of my bra it was only then that I realised how strange that was. I couldn't help but giggle at myself as I shook my head.Luckily, nobody had seen that happening.

I looked back at the letter and took a deep breath. I had no idea what my score was at the end of the practical part of the entrance exam, so I really couldn't estimate what class I'd be in if I was accepted at all. I wanted to open it right now, but part of me was also terrified of both of the possible outcomes.

No, Janie, you had to get over that and just do it. Without thinking my hand made its way to the letter to open it, and I gasped when I saw a hologram appear. Woah, it was Present Mic! I didn't know that much about the pro hero, but I was aware that he was strong, and also very, very energetic, which I honestly liked.

"Hellooooo there! My name is Present Mic, I'm a pro hero and a teacher at UA High! I am here to inform you about your results of the entrance exam." My heart was pounding and I could feel my hands becoming clammy. I gulped and bit my lip as my eyes stayed focused on the pro.

"Now, Janie Kagura, on your theoretical exam you did exceptionally well!! So cool!! Your results were in the top 30!" Upon hearing this my jaw almost dropped to the basement of our house as my eyes grew the size of dinner plates. Top 30????? How?

"However, when we take a look at your results of the practical exam," his tone caused slight worry. I'm guessing I didn't do as well on this part as on the theoretical exam. "your score appears to be quite low..." unconsciously, my lips formed into a small pout as I could feel my heart sink to my stomach.

"But!!!!" he said, his voice filled with enthusiasm as a big smile appeared on his face again. "The other teachers and I all agreed that you definitely have some potential there. and it wouldn't be right of UA to let that talent go, right?" I gasped as I stood up from my chair, my hands covering my mouth. Was he trying to say what I thought he was trying to say?...

"So, Janie Kagura, I can happily tell you that you have been accepted into UA High!" A happy squeal left my mouth as I started jumping up and down. Me? Accepted? Really? Oh my goodness, was I dreaming? I quickly pinched myself, giggling giddily when I realized this was actually happening and it wasn't just some silly dream in my head.

"While you weren't accepted in class A or B, you were accepted in class C, which is totally awesome already!" The goofy smile on my face was still apparent. Yes, being in class 1-A would be a dream, but I was already happy that I got into this school with such a low acceptance rate.

"And remember, there are more ways to still get into the Hero Course! UA would never waste any potential!"

"Now, there are a few things that still need to be settled. First of all, the dorms for the new students haven't been finished just yet. There are a few problems that we need to take care of first. But when they're done...." I zoned out at this point as my eyes widened. I completely forgot that UA had dorms... Oh my, I was so screwed... Was there any way for me to be able to cover this up without it looking suspicious? Think Janie, think, I thought to myself as I grew more and more frustrated by the second. I was so dumb for not considering these things before, why did I only have to realize it now?

Okay wait, I still had time. The dorms weren't finished yet, which meant it would take a while until those were finished. I still had time...

"In the rest of the letter you can read the practical and boring information. We can't wait to see you at UA High, Janie Kagura!!" and just as fast as it appeared, the hologram disappeared. I was still astounded, did I really get into UA? Such an amazing school with an extremely low acceptance rate? I got in?

I wondered if those two guys were accepted too... They seemed nice and I would like to be friends with them if i were honest. They were different, but interesting people nonetheless.

Wait, Present Mic had said that there was more information in the letter, which meant it was probably a good idea to read that letter. I sat down on my desk chair again and grabbed the letter. It basically said on Monday most things would be done, like getting our measurements for our uniforms and suits. Our suits... I was going to get a hero suit? Oh my goodness, that felt so surreal. I, Janie Kotu, who was born to be a villain, actually had the opportunity to change my fate. I could feel tears well up in my eyes, but I quickly blinked them away. While I was overjoyed right now, I also did not want to expect too much, as I knew anything could happen that could stop me from following my dream.

Apart from what I just mentioned, the letter also talked about getting the keys to our lockers as well as the fact that we would find out who our homeroom teacher was when we got to the school. All of this would happen next week, and the week after that the lessons would start. I'd also receive my timetable next week. I really hoped there was at least some time between this and the villain school...

Wait, but on Wednesday I was going to go to my parents' work. Crap, what if I had to go to UA that day? If I told them I had to go to school, they'd be able to make sure I had a day off, which was easy considering the influence they had. So yeah, that wasn't going to work of course. Pretending to be sick was also not an option, as my mother would probably get overprotective and end up staying home with me. That or my father would manage to convince to leave me alone at home, which was possible since my dad was rough to say the least so he'd obviously think I was exaggerating. But still, it was risky.

I shook my head to get out of my thoughts. I had no idea on what days I had to come, I knew I had to go on Monday but that was it. Worrying over something that wasn't even confirmed was completely irrational, I knew that. Yet I just couldn't help but feel anxious about this. It wasn't an everyday thing to lie about the school that you were attending and barely anyone knowing about it.

A soft sigh escaped my mouth. I hated the fact that things had to be like this. Yes, I was the one who did all of this stuff secretly, but if only my parents were more accepting, if only they weren't the most notorious villains at the moment... Things would be completely different if that was the case.

Suddenly a completely different thought crossed my mind. I didn't even have a design for a hero suit! Quickly I grabbed a pencil and a few pieces of paper. While I was no art mastermind, I was able to draw a simple person with proportions that were kind of okay? And that didn't matter too much, since they probably mostly cared about the clothing itself.

But how was I just going to design something just like that? I had exactly zero experience with fashion design... Maybe I could try using everyday outfits in a way? And I'd just add a few colours that I loved. Ah, I was sure that all of these heroes in training had been dreaming of what their suit would look like since they were little, if only things were that easy for me... Yes, I had always secretly wanted to save people instead of harming them, but I never even thought it was possible so I never let myself dream, as it would only bring pain.

I just decided to draw whatever, and hopefully something nice would come out of it. I drew outfits I wore often, outfits that I had seen in magazines before and would like to wear, dresses that I would love to wear but were way too extra so I wouldn't wear them anywhere..

My heart stopped when I heard a knock on my door. I quickly hid my UA letter and right after that my mother opened the door.

"Hey sweetie!" she said, her tone high-pitched as usual. "Dinner is almost ready! Oh, what are you doing?" she asked and I could feel my heartbeat spead up. Without waiting for an answer, she entered the room and looked at the drawings.

"Oh, you're designing a villain suit! How lovely!" she exclaimed excitedly as she examined every drawing. "When I got my first villain suit I was so excited! Your grandparents actually chose it and designed it for me, so it was a total surprise." she was quiet for a moment, blankly staring at the drawings before something seemed to cross her mind. She gasped in excitement and looked back at me.

"Your dad and I will do the same for you! You'll get to wear it on Wednesday!" a small frown appeared on my face. Wednesday was only a few days away.

"But that's in a few days already, mother." I said, causing her to chuckle softly

"Oh honey, don't worry about the time! Your dad and I will take care of it." she answered with a bright smile, which honestly raised my concerns even more. But I knew my mother and I was aware that nobody would stop her nor my dad even if they tried their best.

"Now, let's go downstairs, your brothers are waiting already and your dad will be here soon!" I nodded and got up. Once I entered the dining room, the loud laughter and voices from my brothers died down. I decided to act as if I didn't notice it and sat down at my usual spot.

Not too long after my mother and I had sat down, my father also entered the house. I couldn't help but flinch when I saw him, as there was some blood on his clothes. Yet everyone else acted as if there was nothing morally wrong with this. Knowing that getting mad would not get me anywhere, I made the decision to remain silent and just quietly started eating.

"So, how was work today, dad?" Malo asked, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he looked at my father with a smirk. Chobu jumped up, almost spilling his glass of water in the process.

"Yeah! Tell us about it, dad!" he exclaimed, and Emry just nodded in agreement. I knew that my father wasn't going to give the details, as Chobu and Emry were still young, but the story was still going to be clear and I hated the fact that my father spoke so prideful of his actions. And the fact that everyone else in the house supported it just stung me even more.

As my father told about whatever he did today, I tried to focus on something else, because I really had no intention of losing my appetite today. For a while I was just eating my meal, not really thinking at all. That was until my father said my name. I hummed and lifted my head only to see everyone staring at me. I made eye contact with my father, whose icy stare almost dug holes in me.

"You know, stories like this are important to hear, Janie. You especially should be listening as you are the one who will follow in your mother and I's footsteps." the urge to roll my eyes and tell him to piss off was major, but I was aware that it wouldn't help and, well, I never really said stuff like that.

So... I just nodded in agreement.

"Aw, honey, Janie meant no harm! I'm sure she has a lot on her mind today." my mother said. "Oh! you know what I saw Janie doing today?" she asked, an excited smile playing on her lips. She seemed a little too excited in my opinion....

"She was designing her villain suit!" and I could swear this was one of the rare moments where I saw pride in Malo's eyes. It was so weird, one time he was happy and excited for me, but other times his personality made a whole turn. Like when we went to school together he seemed happier than ever, but then at other times it was as if he barely cared. I couldn't even figure out my own brother... Part of me thought that maybe the times he tried being nice were just his ways of trying to get on my good side so he could have a lot of power in the future. And maybe sometimes that facade would crack, because of his ill intentions.

"Oh, Takeshi, remember when I did that too? When we met I was wearing my first villain suit!" she smiled as she clasped her hands together in excitement. "We can get one done for Janie by Wednesday, right darling?" My mother asked my dad, who nodded. He seemed to be more at ease because of what my mother had mentioned.

"How about you and Malo get matching ones? You two will obviously be fighting together!" I could see stars coming out of Malo's eyes as my mother said this. "I'm sure you two can also bond more when fighting."

"And it's good for you two to gain more popularity." my father added. While yes, from their viewpoint it was a smart move, what worried me was the fact that if Malo and I would join our parents in missions, it meant that my face was exposed to the world. UA was definitely going to figure out who I was...

"But maybe we should keep their identities kind of hidden for the heroes." my father then said, bringing me out of my thoughts. "We don't want them to get arrested already or for the police to already." I was about to jump out of my chair at that remark.

"Hm, I'm sure a mask will be okay. I'll let the designers know!" my mother replied. "Malo, Janie, any preferences you have for the suit? It still needs to gain attention of course so it must be something eye catching!" Malo opened his mouth to say something when my mother stopped him.

"Oh wait! How about you two think about it together after dinner and then let us know? I'm sure you both have wonderful ideas!" Yeah, lovely.... Sounded great... But I knew I didn't have much of a choice so I agreed. I saw a naughty smirk on Malo's lips which told me he was up to no good. Oh, boy...

#bnha #bnha x oc #bnha fanfic #bnha fanfiction #mha #mha x oc #mha fanfic #mha fanfiction #OC #bnha oc #mha oc #boku no hero academia #my hero academia

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estrxlar · 3 years ago

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The Ghost Of You

17 - So Called Guardian

This Chapter’s Songs:

November; Tyler The Creator

Desire Lines; Lush

Show Me How; Men I Trust

- Y. L. Perspective

I swiftly take off my blazer, shoes, and tie, keeping an eye on the new yet old girl. After she had introduced herself to me, she finished up her conversation with Kiyoko. As I hid behind the locker to change my outfit, I listened in on Eclair and her reason for being here.

"Yeah, so I just got back! I'm leaving again around next week! I'm on spring break to see my mom, so I thought I could by after school to visit the old club! Maybe if Takeda lets me, I could stick around till I leave," she mumbles, smiling down at her shoes. The girl looked like an unboxed expensive doll with rich clothing included. "Oh...I have a question."

Kiyoko hummed, tying her shoes on the bench.

"How's Koushi doing?"

I felt as if my ears were stretching out towards her, hearing every single vowel she spoke out. 'Suga? What does she want to do with him? Maybe they're old friends.' I hoped and prayed that the two weren't involved in anything together. If so, that would give me another issue. I didn't want some beautiful girl near Koushi if they had history. Especially not if they're so close for them to be on a first-name basis.

I slam my locker shut, getting ready to put on my shoes as well. Both girls are surprised by the sudden sound, but I ignore it, continuing to "mind my own business."

"Uhm..." I feel Kiyoko's eyes wander towards me at the mention of Sugawara. "He's been doing pretty good ever since school started. I don't know much about his personal life."

I spot her hands tightening in on each other in the corner of my eye. "Oh! Okay, I'll just ask Daichi then. The only reason I'm asking is that...well...you know."

'You know?! What the hell does this girl want with Koushi?! And it's not like I can say I'm his girlfriend or anything...' I think to myself, finishing getting dressed. "Hey, Kiyoko, we should probably get going. We don't wanna be late to practice," I mutter in a nervous voice, rubbing my neck.

She nods to me. "Yeah. Uhm— Eclair is coming as well if you don't mind."

'Of course, she is.' Once again, I smile, saying, "that's fine with me! Gives me some time to know her." The girl squeals in excitement, getting a head start to the gym before Kiyoko and me.

When Kiyoko pulls open the gym doors, we're greeted by a few players that were already there. To my surprise, there seems to be a new boy in the gym.

I had expected him to greet us, girls, in a gentle manner the way the rest of the team does. Instead, he yells out to the black-haired girl, "Kiyoko! Come to my arms sweet mama!"

Repulsed, she slapped her hand against his face, making sure he hadn't touched her. "Stop that," she demanded which in her therapeutic tone that I could never take seriously. I only stood at the doorway, confused as to why there was a short, loud little man at our feet.

"I've missed you!" The boy gets back up, standing a good distance from us. Kiyoko simply scoffs before walking to the supply room, leaving Eclair and me with him. He looks our way almost immediately, grabbing both of our hands and kissing them. "Hey, ladies! Now, Eclair— you better tell me who this fine girl!"

She giggles lightly. "That's Y/n! I just met her a few moments ago, so I'm not sure I can tell you much about her!" A few moments after he turns back to the rest of the team, she leans close to my ear to whisper, "that's Nishinoya. He was our old libero before leaving for temporary discipline."

Kiyoko rolls out a basket of volleyballs, calling me towards her while Eclair greeted our players. I run towards her, helping her unbuckle the straps that held the casket together.

"So...who exactly is this Eclair?" I ask her, causing her to roll her eyes.

'I'm guessing no one good.'

"It's just an old manager that was around for a month or two during our second year. Throughout that time, she managed to get every boy on the team to wag their tail for her. I wouldn't call her a slut or anything, just very flirtatious. She didn't do much. She was more of a cheerleader for the boys so drool over," she explains. I look over to Eclair, feeling ill by the fact she was much closer to any of the players than I was. "And about Sugawara... she had a major crush on him for a while. You might want to keep an eye on him since you two are a thing."

It seemed Eclair was a huge threat already. With her formality, style, and beauty, I most definitely had my doubts about keeping Koshi in my grasp. I stared her down as she walked over towards him, greeting him with a small hug. Internally, I felt like ripping my head off at the sight. But I just tried ignoring it and continuing my task.

Thankfully, Daichi yells my name out, calling for me to head over there. I do as told and run over towards the group. He tugs at my shoulders, wrapping one of his strong arms around them. "This is Y/n. She's been a manager of ours for a week now, but she's pretty familiar with the third years. I think she'll be helping Kiyoko out until they graduate. Y/n, this is Eclair and Nishinoya— second years. Eclair was assistant to manager for a little while and Noya is our team's libero."

"Wow, that's so cool! So is Eclair gonna be a manager too?! That would be so awesome if we had three pretty girls in the club!" I cringe at how girl-obsessed this Nishinoya seemed to be and how sweet Eclair was behaving.

She smiled, giggling at the boy's question. "No, silly! I'm only here for a week! Since I'm still on spring break, I'll just be hanging out with you guys a couple of times before going back to France. I'm so sad that I have to leave all of you sweet boys for good!"

Daichi let's go of me, letting me wiggle my shoulders around. "Noya, you haven't changed all that much after leaving school for a while."

"Oh, whatever. I'm just excited to be back on the team. So, where's Asahi? Is he back yet?"

Everyone grows silent at Noya's question, looking anywhere but at him. 'Who's Asahi? This team is really lacking communication skills,' I think to myself. "Well...Uhm," Daichi mumbles in a hesitant tone.

"Damn coward." Nishinoya makes a sudden remark, changing the cheerful atmosphere he led just a few seconds ago.

Tanaka tried shutting up his peer, scared he'll get himself into even more trouble than he was already in. "Noya! Show some respect for your upper class-men!—"

"Oh shut up! He's a scared little cry baby and you know it," he yelled back to Tanaka. "If Asahi's not coming back, then neither am I!"

'So dramatic.' I think to myself, raising my brows at the awkward situation. Before anybody can stop him, he rushes out of the gym, leaving us worried. It sure was the "guardian" that Daichi described last week. Blunt and loud.

"Hm..so who's gonna run after him this time?" Tanaka groans, disappointed that his reunion with his friend came to a sudden stop.

Eclair frowns, beginning the sentence of her idea. "Maybe I could talk to him—" but she's suddenly interrupted by Koshi, who stands right behind me.

"Y/n! Why don't you do it?" He and his patronizing smile showed no mercy towards me. Placing both of his hands on my hips, he turns and leads me towards the door. "Come on, it'll be fun! Noya is always nice to gorgeous girls. Right guys?"

The team nods, chuckling at Koshi's strange behavior, given none of them had ever seen him act so touchy with me. In fact, he'd just told every member of the club that he thought I was gorgeous.

I give him a death stare, attempting to unleash myself from his grasp. He still kept a cheerful mood and was determined to see how I could handle this situation. "Koshi—I dunno... I just met the guy two minutes ago!"

When we reach the door, he suddenly got close up to my ear, whispering, "you'll be closer to the team ten times more than you were if you get him back. I just want you and the team to feel comfortable before announcing anything."

As annoyed as I was with him, I understood. My friends knew Suga, but they weren't very close to him in any way. I didn't blame him for wanting me to communicate with them. Still, that didn't change the fact I was pissed with him for putting me on the spot like that.

Sighing, I roll my eyes, awkwardly smiling at the team as they look towards us. And before I knew it, I'm off looking for Nishinoya.

I felt released when I had spotted him sitting nicely under a cherry blossom tree. As cheerful as the area was, he looked quite disappointed.

I debated once more if I should have butt into a problem that I truly had no acknowledgment of— if it was the best idea to potentially ruin this opportunity for the volleyball club. Unfortunately, he had spotted me in his peripheral vision before I could doubt myself any longer.

"Did Daichi send you?" His raspy high pitched voice questions me while he cracked his knuckles.

'Well, not him, but his best friend.'

I shake my head, sitting down in the empty spot next to him on the bench. He quickly turned the other way, crossing his arms like a child. "I'm not coming back," Noya scoffed.

I was lost. Was there anything other than coming back to the club to talk about? His skills. "Uhm, so, you specialize in defense, right?" I prayed to every presence that I was steering the right way with this conversation.

"Why do you think that?" He asks. "Cause I'm short?"

I shake my head again. "No, It's because Daichi kept calling you 'Guardian'."

"Guardian?! Where did that come from? I mean, I'm not that important. It's embarrassing—really!" Bingo! Noya grew flustered about the nickname and faced me, denying his excitement. "D-did he say that?"

"Mhm, supposedly you're pretty important."

But all good things must come to an end. After a few more seconds of happiness, he reverts to his angry attitude. "So what?! Does Daichi think giving me a badass nickname is enough to make me come back? I mean he's not wrong but—damn is Daichi that's not fair."

'It's not all that. Honestly, it's kind of cringe. But whatever floats your boat, I guess.' I wonder to myself how I could possibly make this stubborn boy agree that he was needed on the team. Without a script in my hand, I came up with the best I could do. "Look, Noya. I don't know much about volleyball or the club the way you do. Hell, I've only been here for a week and I'm already stressed out. But I'm positive that you're important to us. We have this kid...his name is Hinata. You met him earlier. You see, he has potential, but he still needs a lot of practice on his receives. And from what I know, that's the most important aspect of the game. Right?"

Nishinoya abruptly stands up, near crying at my explanation of how badly we needed him. "...wow,

L/n! You know how to convince a guy!" His voice wobbles in emotion. "Of course I'll help you! I

mean— Hinata! But that doesn't mean I'm coming back to volleyball club, I'm only gonna teach him how to do receives, that's all!"

I stand up, bowing towards the girl-obsessed guy. "Thank you, Noya."

'I did it! I got him to come back! Only for one practice, but that's still something!'

After taking many mental (and physical) notes on today, it was finally my time to leave practice.

Seeing Noya's playstyle helped me tremendously to understand the position of a receiver on the volleyball team. And as it turned out, he was an important player. And after this "Asahi" guy left, it only made everyone feel more diminished.

He's supposed to be another one of the third-year players. Though I've never met him, I do know that he's a boy my age but looks like a man. Supposedly, during a game that Karasuno was losing caused trouble for the entire team. Sugawara was setting and Asahi was attacking, but all of his attacks were shot down by another team. The night they came back is when he'd decided to give up on volleyball. I couldn't even imagine how guilty Koshi must have felt after that. Knowing him, he probably took on the blame for everything.

I was glad I decided to help out the club by getting Noya to help Hinata with his received. It would benefit not only them, but Sugawara as well. "How can you be confused, its just 'wooh!' and then 'pow!'" He shouts as the ball ricochets off of his wrists.

"Yeah! I know exactly what he's saying, how do you not get it?!" Kageyama says to Hinata, who's mentally challenging himself today.

"That's only because you guys teach with words!"

The day was coming to an end, finally. Dealing with a bunch of boys making noise and Eclair non-stop talking to everybody made me feel sick. But before I left to change back into my clothes, Nishinoya made a move to stop me.

"Wait, Y/n! You can't just leave without giving me your number! And where's my hug?! How about I take you out sometime as thanks for giving me such a sweet talk under the pretty little tree?" He whines, grabbing both my hands. 'Where's my hug? Mother fucker, you're younger than I am.'

Koshi spends no time running up behind me and pulling me from his grasp, telling the boy, "Noya, you need to stop harassing all the girls that step into this gym."

"Oh, come on, Suga! She's a total cutie and you know it!" He points at him. "Wait a minute...is that why you're so protective of the new manager?! You've got your eyes on Y/n!"

We both gasp, letting go of each other in an instant. "No!" Koshi and I yell while awkwardly smiling.

As time passes, each member dresses out and begins to walk home. When I do as well, Koshi. waits for me outside.

I would finally be able to talk with him about today!

"So, you have Noya a sweet talk under the cherry blossom tree?" Sugawara teases me, playfully bumping my shoulder while we began our walk into the roads.

I hit him back. "Stop that! That was just a coincidence. And I only got him back by saying Daichi thought of him as some knight and that he was needed on the team. That's all!"

"Oh yeah? Well, you did a good job. He said he'll stick around for a little bit to teach Hinata. Gotta say they get along great." His sweet chuckle fills the warmth around us.

Something was poking at me to ask him about the girl I'd met earlier. 'If she still has feelings for him, then should I not say anything?' "Hey, Kou?"

He hums, wrapping an arm around me. "What?"

"...what do you think of Eclair? Are you happy she's back to visit you guys?"

"Oh, I guess so. I tried not paying too much attention to her." He states, looking at the sidewalk ahead of us. Something told me he didn't want to talk about her feelings for him or if they were still there. However, I was determined to get to the bottom of the situation before having to be in the same room as the girl who likes the boy I love.

"Uhm...could you tell me about her? Like, what kind of relationship did she have with everybody? Did you guys get along? Stuff like that. I wanna get to know her without having to talk to her a whole lot," I tell him, snuggling into his shoulder.

When he walks dead silent for a few seconds, I realize that something is wrong. "Y/n..." he begins to sound a bit worried and disappointed. "I'd rather you not be around her too much."

As if I had no idea, I raise my brows innocently. "Why?"

"She just...stirs things up. I-I'd rather not have her come in between us. Thing is, she used to have this thing for me a few months before she left for France. At first, I thought she was just being polite by doing usual things that people would do when they are in love. But then after some time, I realized she had a major crush on me. And when I told her that I wasn't ready for a relationship, she totally flipped out. She made a big scene and told everybody that I was a stupid guy who only talked to girls for my pleasure." Towards the end of his explanation, he becomes more and more ashamed of what he says.

'So that means he had to have done things with other girls.' The thought that Koshi has most likely already had sex made my face heat up in both anger and sadness. Not that I had any motive to rush into that with him, but I felt more anxious he would expect more from me if the time ever came. "And...did you only talk to girls for pleasure?" My heart raced with every silent second that ran past us. Sugawara didn't want to answer my question.

"Koshi, if you've already had sex then I don't mind. I'm just asking if you used other girls for pleasure...because if so—"

"No!" He shouts gently, turning me towards him. Once again, we stood under the street light that we always seemed to stop at on walks home. "Y/n, I know I was pretty messed up but I wouldn't ever take girls for advantage and never have! And my old habits—they aren't something I should be proud of, so I don't talk about it."

"Koshi, we don't have to if you don't want to," I tell him.

"But I have to eventually, right? Why get you all caught up in a relationship you don't even fully know about."

I look into his eyes, longing for him to lay his sorrow down onto me and forget about it all. I knew that he'd never have it in his heart to do anything evil. But whatever he didn't want to tell me was eating him up. After a few moments of even more silence, I bring him back from his thoughts. "Kou?"

The boy takes one of my hands within his and brings it up to his lips, kissing it lightly. When he takes his lips back, he begins his explanation. "I've never really been able to cope properly with my mom's death, Y/n. That's why when I talk about it, I can't seem to keep myself together. And I know it's been a long time, but I'm still ashamed for giving my first time away so easily because I was overwhelmed with anger that I didn't care any longer. Things that someone should save for someone special were spent on girls who were only in it for pleasure. I was the same, but I now know that I would have saved even holding hands with a girl if it meant it was with you, Y/n. See— doing anything with you feels like the first time but better. And that's because I love you. So yeah, I slept with a couple of girls, but it never meant anything to me. It only helped me distract myself from realizing that I required feeling important and loved again. That as much as I wanted to, I couldn't be an adult at the age of seventeen. Please, tell me that you understand what I'm saying? That when I'm with you, you make me feel whole again. Like I'm loved and needed, and I can take my time with you."

When he says things like that to me, I can't help but sink into his arms and breathy close to him. I wanted nothing more than to help him cure whatever negative feelings intoxicated him. If I was what helped him, then so be it.

"Then tell me, Koshi," I whisper to him, looking deep into his eyes. The world stopped around us if only for a second to let me ask this question, even if I already knew the answer. "...who is your first love?"

Every nerve in my body jumped when he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into a strong hug. If he had already done everything romantic with other women, then wouldn't that meant he was already in love with somebody previously?

No, wrong.

"You. Y/n, you are my first."

I loved writing the ending of this chapter sm eee

Vote mofo <3 ily

- estrxlar

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thirstyfortom · 8 years ago

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wow, you write very well and detailed! the plot is amazing too. can I request a scenario of rfa (and v + saeran if you can) being yanderes while they're dating mc?

Oh, thank you so much! So… I didn’t intend to go full yandere because I wasn’t sure I was comfortable with (not because of the theme, I just wasn’t sure if I knew how to do this), but that kept getting darker as I wrote, and it turned out really abusive and angsty. I’m not proud about Jumin and Saeyoung ones tho, they’re not that great, but I hope that’s what you wanted. :)

TRIGGER WARNING: ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR, ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

RFA + V and Saeran being yanderes ANGST

Zen

Whenever you hang out in public, he'll always have an arm around your shoulder or waist

In bed, he enjoys fucking you in front of mirrors, he loves to watch himself giving you pleasure

Won't let you cum till you tell him how great he is at everything and how no other man you've ever been with could ever be compared to him

He won't forbid you of wearing certain clothes, but he won't pretend he's not bothered, he'll pout and insist you have to change because he was the only one that deserves to see you at your best

If he's not able to convince you, expect to find dark hickys all over your neck, collarbones and thighs after sex, that way you can't wear low cleavage tops and short skirts

He's not afraid of getting into fights if someone approaches you, fuck the scandals, you're his

You always have a seat reserved on the front row during all of his musicals, and he makes sure the seats by your sides are empty, he doesn' t want anyone distracting you from giving all your attention to him when he's performing

At first, he would never let you be photographed or give interviews, HE is the public person here and anything concerning your relationship would be answered exclusively by him

He used to say this was for your protection, but you knew he just didn't want you getting the same kind of attention he gets

But then, he realized he enjoyed to show you off to media, so he'd spend days training you to say the right things and find the right clothes, so he'd dress you up like a doll

He was determined to turn you to a modern day princess and your relationship should always come across as a fairytale in the public eye

But he started actually believing in this, so any attitude of yours that didn't meet his expectations would be harshly scolded

You didn't feel human anymore, everything you did felt so robotic, made only for other people to see

He was the actor here, but you felt you were the one always pretending to be this perfect princess

Neither of you knew what was real now, not even your love

Yoosung

He will hold hands with you in public and tight the grip everytime some guy (and girls, eventually) look at you and smile

In bed, sometimes his insecurities get the best of him and he can’t hold an erection for long, your warm touch makes him lose control of his body immediately

You would always reassure him it was fine, the sex was still great, anyways, and you loved him so much

But he didn't like your tone. To his ears, you sounded like you felt pity for him, and he hated!

Still, you always managed to praise him a lot, and you just hoped he could notice that every moan and compliment you gave were sincere

He could almost read people's mind on the streets when you went out. "What is she doing with him? Poor girl can get someone so much better" He was always wondering when you would realize that too

He wasn’t strong enough to fight for you, so the only thing he could do was make himself weaker and weaker, so you would feel obligated to take care of him

So he’ll hurt himself everytime you get late from work/school, everytime you talk to another guy, everytime he feels you’re not giving him love and attention enough

He hates your pity, but if this will make you stay, he doesn’t care

Jaehee

Trust always was a low point in this relationship, even though she would never admit to you and to herself

You were always so sweet to everybody, sweet… or were you just flirting to everybody?

She gets it, ok? You’re a little younger than her, you’re pretty and bubbly, there isn’t a single person who wouldn’t fall desperately for you like she did

But she knew those guys would be coming to the cafe just to see you, they didn’t care about coffee at all

So hiring another person and putting you on paperwork felt like a natural move to protect you and her feelings for you

You missed talking to people, seeing their smile everytime you would hand over their delicious and beautifully made drinks

But you would never complain, you didn’t want to upset her, she would be so cold when she was upset and the sex would feel so awful

Because this would be clearly about her pleasure only, and sometimes you could swear your frustration would turn her on more and more

In fact, making you feel frustrated was an habit now. She would make you overwork so you’d always look frustrated, stressed out and tired. If you’d be like that, you wouldn’t look that cute to other people now, right?

She became what once hurt herself so much, but she couldn’t even realize it, she just wanted to be the only one to see your true beauty and sweetness that would be hidden behind those dark circles under your eyes and the ill aspect of your skin.

Jumin

You didn’t remember the last time you went out by yourself, if he wasn’t with you, at least two bodyguards would

His arm is always around your waist, he wouldn’t let his guards down not even around his own father

He is very possessive and demanding on bed and this is a huge turn on for you at first

But you could always tell when something went wrong at the office, because he would take it out on you very roughly,. Most of the times, you would feel the pleasure through the pain, sometimes you wouldn’t, it was just that scary pain

In the beginning, he was very understanding that you had different habits from his, but it got really perceptive when he was slowly pushing his eating and sleeping habits onto you. It was for your own good, he would say.

Controlling you was for your own good, he would say

Things started to get weirder when you went out by yourself for a couple hours. A friend of yours was in town, she was going through a tough time and could use a friend now, she seemed so sad and afraid, you felt that taking the bodyguards could be intimidating

When you returned home, you never seen his eyes that dark and never heard his voice this low and husky. “Where were you?” “Why didn’t you take my calls?” “Are you leaving?” “Are you trying to escape like Elisabeth did that time?” Oh no, not this again…

He got you a bracelet with a tracking device, the bodyguards got very detailed instructions about never leaving you alone if he was not around, a female bodyguard was hired exclusively to watch over for you in the bathroom, that was the level of insanity going around that penthouse

You and Elisabeth were his precious little kittens, but if you’d gonna behave like an wild animal, he’d need to tame you at all costs

Saeyoung

He is not too clingy in public, but he’s always by your side or a little behind you

In bed, he will make you scream his name out loud and tell you’re his, only his

If he was too busy, he would hire Vanderwood to keep an eye on you when you’d go out

As much as you enjoyed Vanderwood’s company, it was uncomfortable, and you told him. He didn’t like it, but dismissed his services on a very passive-agressive way.

“I’m just worried about your security, MC, it’s a shame you don’t care about yourself as much as I do… but I won’t tell you how to live your life”

Still, he needed to know if you were always ok, so he attached GPS devices on your clothes and would always hack security cameras on the streets to watch you

He also installed cameras and wires at your apartment, but he didn’t tell you.

Hacking your laptop and phone started as a hobby , but quickly became a habit, he’d love to trace patterns in your interests

But everytime you ‘d search something he considered inappropriate (like photos of that cute guy on that boy band) he would take down the internet at your home or send you a virus, this also worked as an excuse to go to your place or make you go to his,

This happened so often that you felt you were actually living together, but not in a very natural way

He got obsessive about your online activities, he felt he could know you better like this than actually talking to you.

Everybody is more honest when nobody is watching, and although you were so special, you weren’t any different . Watching you like this would make sure you would never lie to him.

He just wanted to be the one who knows you the best, it was the least he could do after pushing you away like that. Now he wanted you closer as possible.

None of the tasks he did for his previous job felt filthier like this one, and he got surprised how much this satisfied him

Like Saeyoung, not clingy in public

But he showers you in compliments in front of others, and gets slightly angry if people don’t respond in a way he considers adequate

Even when you don’t take his compliments as he desires, he will get frustrated. “You need to start seeing yourself as the magnificent person you are, MC. It really bothers me you’re uncapable of”

He puts you on a pedestal, and everytime you do something that doesn’t go according to how he pictured you should do, he will scold you for not reaching your full potential

Takes tons of pictures of you doing several activities during the day, and sometimes, he takes pictures of your reactions when he touches your body and praises you, those ones became a collection

A very prestigious art critic pointed out how the model would look despaired in some of the pictures, which V hated

Now he was determined to only get your joy in his photos, so he would create every possible situation that could make you smile. But still, nothing was good enough for him, you never looked happy enough, and he would be very clear about how frustrated he was with you

You watched as your boyfriend was only seeing you through pictures, you didn’t feel like a real person who could show her emotions genuinely

But what hurt the most was that you didn’t see your boyfriend’ eyes anymore, they were always behind the camera lens

Saeran

He’s too shy to show affection in public, but he’ll walk with beside you, glaring at people like a hound dog

In bed, he is very instable. Sometimes he treats you like a porcelain doll and touches you like you’re gonna break, he feels so guilty for everything he did, so treating you like this feels like he’s finally doing the right thing

Other times, he’ll be rough, very rough. You’ll have dark bruises due to hard hickys all over your body, he enjoys tasting your blood, he says is the most delicious thing he ever tasted

He can be like this out of the bed too, the shy and quiet Saeran or the loud one who’ll snap at you over the silliest things. You never know which Saeran you’re gonna face

He hates it being like that, he feels like shit and knows this is too much for someone so bright and lovely as you to handle.

But he’s so afraid you’ll see you’re making a mistake being with him, it’s probably a matter of time for you to notice you’re too good to him

So, before you realize that, he has to find a way for you not to feel so good, he needs to lower you to his level

His snaps will be more aggressive, he’ll tell you how useless you are at everything, you’re stupid, futile, you’re so lucky that he’s patient with you, you ‘d never find a guy who could bare you like he does

And slowly you start believing in that, you never noticed how much you and him are alike. Yes, you’re lucky you have him, if you two are so wrong for the rest of the world, at least you can be wrong together.

He feels like shit, the only way to make you stay is if you feel exactly like him

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