#they're gonna do that even if it stings to read

[nightunite]

slides u twenty dollars can we consider jealous johnny if he sees reader is only that avoidant with him and no one else… i don’t want to rush ahead in case you have something else planned but like, johnny hearing that there are rumors one of the baron’s newest maids is pregnant and the timing just lines up a little too well 😵‍💫😵‍💫

-noona bc tumblr refuses to let me send asks from sideblogs

Hiiiiiiiii Noona 💖

Thank you for the twenty, I'm gonna spend in on blind boxes, it's not an addiction, I can stop anytime I want. Spoilers concerning reader's pregnancy under the read more:

Gonna answer only the first part of this and save the second half because I don't wanna give away too much just yet. I will say that at the point this piece of the story takes place, our dear reader is indeed aware she's pregnant and has informed Konig, who insists on her having someone with her when she goes out into town. Anything could happen, and he fears the idea of her falling and harming herself or the baby, or having to do so much heavy lifting. They're just on friendly-ish terms though for now, as this isn't by the time reader has started showing, so no rumors have started flying yet. Also, curious how one section of this will be interpreted. Johnny exhaled as he stepped out of the shop, breath a thick fog in front of him as the winter chill set to work stinging his cheeks. Snow had fallen last night and stayed, keeping the roads slick. The thick woolen cap he wore snug around his head crushed down his signature hairstyle, but he'd rather have flat hair than a raw scalp. He rubbed his gloved hands along his wrists to fend off the shivers, the door behind him shutting with a clatter and the ring of bells as he moved along the walkway towards his next stop a few streets over. Four stores in, and he had yet to find what he was looking for. He wasn't entirely sure what that was, mind you, only that whatever it was remained elusive. It let him move about town all the same to get out of his house which had felt odd these past few weeks. Too loud, too quiet, achingly lonely yet also too many people nearby setting his nerves on edge. Impossible to get anything done, his irritation grew erratic like his thoughts. All he wanted was a moment of peace, a chance for his ever-restless thoughts to let him breathe lest he take it out on his staff.

Try as he might to deny it to himself, he knew why this happened. She wasn't there anymore. Packed up and left in the wee hours of the morn, when the fog was thick and the duchy silent as a graveyard. Didn't bother to inform him, merely the head maid whom had given him a look that said he was a fool. Shortly thereafter, word had gotten back to him that she had taken up a position in the Baron's home. He'd had to take a swift walk to handle that knotted up wad of string wrapped tightly in his gut.

If he were an honest man, he would say she hadn't truly been there even longer. It made his throat close up, the way she seemingly wasted away in his halls, sunken in on herself like a sunflower wilting in the frost. Like a cold snap at the start of winter, suddenly she had no time for him. Always quick to pull away from him, to find some task to do that kept her preoccupied from the start of the day until well past it. Hesitation whenever he asked her what was wrong, a momentary pause before she would tell him nothing was the matter, addressing him as 'my lord', as though the name she had permission to use would not escape her mouth.

Eyes always downcast, fixed on the floorboards or over his shoulder when she would bring herself to pretend to look him in the eye. Truth be told, he preferred it in some ways, the relief of not having that direct connection. At least then he didn't feel the weight of his inadequacy of caring for her, like a verdict cast down upon him. This way he could pretend that he was the man he was supposed to be. He stopped attempting to touch her in any way when he caught how she tensed, braced herself for contact. The kissing followed shortly thereafter, her strained smiles and broken laughter making him feel worse, like he never should have even tried. Anything further wasn't even on the table, and the thought of even broaching the subject made his insides churn. And so, he stopped. Filled his time with the other maids, though that never lasted long either. They weren't right; laughter too loud or high pitched, smile too far to one side, hair the wrong thickness between his fingers. It left him feeling further unease, as though he kept going down the wrong hallways in a maze that he had no chance of escaping. Like a picture set at the wrong angle, or shoes that are a size too small. It pinches him, makes something inside him pace like a beast in a cage, keeps him up at night. He knows what felt right, what kept him sated and content in his days. Eyes that gazed at him like he was her salvation, her sun, always turning towards him with a smile that made his own lips turn up. Soft hands even after hard work, rubbing over the calluses of his palms and stroking over any scars, pressing gentle kisses to them. Laughs and squeals that made his heart race like a schoolboy, cheeks flooded red with the desire to keep her that way, keep all of her attention on him. Even now as he turns the corner, he feels a small smile coming up from those memories, only to freeze awkwardly on his face.

Across the street there she walked, a small box wrapped in her free palm. He hadn't anticipated her being out, assuming she had remained indoors lest the chill finally do her in. He felt his breath leave his lungs at the sight while his blood raced at a fever pitch, heart beginning to hammer. She looked beautiful, the way she had before whatever had occurred at the duchy. Cheeks fuller than he had seen since this past fall, eyes bright and a small smile on her face, she looked radiant to him. Some piece of him, deep in his soul perhaps, relaxed in relief at the sight of her hale and hearty. Another part of him, a part of who he is as a man, feels the stirrings of bitterness at the fact she seems to flourish again once out of his reach. But he couldn't help the way he wanted to grit his teeth and snarl at who stood at her side. Baron Konig, the man who had poached her from him. Still draped in his silly shroud, he was covered head to toe, a thick peacoat covering him and sturdy boots making contact with the ground, clicks following. Even with the coat in the way, Johnny's eyes narrowed at the way her hand was tucked into the crook of his arm. Why does that bastard have the right to touch her? He must have said something under that hood, for she looked up at the Baron and let out a chuckle, breath pluming out for a moment before she responded with something that he nodded in return to. In his free arm he held several packages, looking for all the world as though they weighed nothing. To a man of that size, they probably didn't.

Johnny felt the acidic tendrils of jealousy lance through him, searing him from the inside out while he fought the need to bare his teeth and tear into the man. He couldn't help it, truly he couldn't. That should have been him with her, guiding her down the street while she looks up at him and laughs at whatever he tells her. Actually no, he thought, she shouldn't be out here at all. She should have been back in the duchy with him, playfully seated on his desk, fire roaring and keeping them both toasty while he pretended to work. He would reach out and cup her face, stroking the apple of her cheek, while she would lean in and reward him with a kiss for his hard work that day. A game they had played before, the two of them wrapped up against the bitter outside world, a secret shared between their hearts.

Why does she not look at him that way? What did he do to harm her? What must he do to have her return to him? Just look at him again, please. Even just a passing glance, something to show that she still recalls who he is, who he can be to her.

Words of adoration and touches that feel like absolution dissipate from his eyes, Johnny swallowing a small noise behind his teeth when he sees how she leans into the Baron so she can stretch slightly higher and say something in his ear. Never before has Johnny wished to be lesser in society so as to step forward and take her hand and pull her home, show everyone who she is meant for. Unable to bear the sight any longer he hunches his head into the collar of his coat and swiftly turns around. His attempts at finding peace have only led him to further turmoil.

As he heads back to his carriage, his thoughts circle over and over, ruminating and digging furrows into his sanity.

He doesn't deserve this, none of this. Not with a woman like that, not with her. When he returns to the house, he has letters to write.

[menofsweaters]

Okay, I finally broke down and read the MHA epilogue leaks and I'm throwing my thoughts at the wall here so they'll get out of my brain. I fully did NOT seek these leaks out, but I was inundated with them all over tumblr, Insta, and even TikTok.

First and foremost, canon genuinely means very little to me. 90% of my enjoyment of MHA comes from fan works, including creating my own AUs and whatnot with friends, so like... canon being bad can't hurt me. I'm also old and have lived through way worse queerbaiting and fandom wars. There's also probably a lot lost in translation that we don't know yet and won't know until the official release. 🤷‍♀️

In no particular order, here is my brain dump on:

Izuocha and shipping in general

- as mentioned above, I don't really care about canon and I don't think ships need to be canon to be meaningful and enjoyable. I'll ship characters who never meet. I'll ship characters from completely different fandoms. Who's gonna stop me? In general, I think the shippers need to stop putting so much emphasis on a particular ship being canon.

- ALL THAT BEING SAID, BKDK was my first MHA ship and it's incredibly important to a lot of people. I think Hori had the opportunity to do something with that relationship that would have been groundbreaking, and he chose not to. He also had the opportunity to simply not focus on any ships and he didn't do that either, soooo... yeah. I think it's okay to be bitter that we still can't have a canon queer ship in shounen. It's reasonable to be disappointed. BKDK and Togachako were the most moving and complex relationships portrayed in the entire manga, in my humble opinion, and it does sting that they got pushed aside.

- I am not a fan of Izuocha, even though I generally like Ochaco. I just find it boring. I'm not enthused by het ships in general, but Izuocha in particular has zero chemistry in my eyes. They're also very similar characters in their mannerisms and personality, and I prefer "opposites attract" type ships that are more dynamic. I prefer Izuku and Ochaco as besties. They went through such similar traumas during the war, being unable to save someone that truly mattered to them, I would prefer to think of this ending as them helping each other move past their PTSD to rekindle a closer friendship.

- ALL OF THAT BEING SAID, while the chapter did not explicitly pair up ANY couples (except apparently Mushroom Girl and Vantablack? which is?? cute but random???), it's definitely implied that Izuocha is pursuing a romantic relationship. Feel free to tell yourself something different but it is what it is.

The hero rankings and other random plot crumbs

- the rankings also felt so incredibly random to me?? Best Jeanist dropping below Mt. Lady? what??

- good on Lemillion being number one though, I always imagine him in the top spot and I think the MHA world needs a hero like that to lift their spirits after the war. It makes sense that he's popular.

- also makes sense that Shouto is number two but wtf do you mean AIR CONDITIONING HERO

- so many of the updated character designs on the adult heroes are BAD, but Jeanist looks slick

- they changed Shinsou's hero name? for why? and gave him a bad haircut??

- absolutely no mention of how Hawks and All Might are working to revamp the hero rankings system, do not accept this

- Mirio is one of my favorite characters but his scene was weird af

- so many inconsistencies in the art style and messaging

- people randomly saying ominous things with no follow through like "heroes won't be around for much longer" or whatever

- I saw someone mention an implication that Bakugou is married to a woman but I didn't find any sign of that in the leaks, so I think that's fake. I know everyone is upset about Dynamight being number 15, and I agree that's too low, but that irritation is low on my list of grievances.

- the whole conversation between Baku and Deku about joining his agency was confusing and unfulfilling? I get why Deku would say no to being a sidekick, but I also don't feel like that's what Bakugou was offering, and they had the conversation in the car with Kirishima... just awkward. Which segues into my next talking point

Horikoshi's writing as a whole

- I think you can easily track the degradation of Hori's writing from the vigilante Deku arc to now. It's disjointed, confusing, often strays from established themes, and meanders around on weird tangents. It's... not great. It's not awful, but not great, especially for an epic climax/epilogue. Which is fine! He's a human being, not a content machine! But I think it's fair for fans to be disappointed that the writing has gone downhill, especially since the art has improved and become much more dynamic and interesting at the same time.

- in my view, it's incredibly easy to see that Hori lost his passion and was completely burnt out on MHA as we approached the end. The writing reflects a desire to wrap up everything quickly. Vital details are written in text rather than shown on the page. Storylines and themes are abandoned. Characters die, fail, or excel completely off screen. Hori spends more screen time and puts more emphasis on random side characters (see: Dai and the figure escaped a basement and was saved by that grandmother) rather than main characters, probably because it would be too difficult to give better endings to the main characters.

- you can also see the difference between the complex symbolism and plot points set up since the very beginning in earlier chapters, and all of that complexity and the hopeful vibes are bled away at the end. It's sad, actually.

- I saw an interesting take that this final chapter is Hori trying to make everyone happy - implying Izuocha while leaving BKDK still kind of open, making Deku a teacher AND a hero, listing all of the rankings, etc. and I think this is the theory that makes the most sense to me. He's taking a safer route and trying to please as many fans as possible, while unfortunately disappointing everyone.

- I've also heard that there's pressure from editors or Shounen Jump to have the series end this way, but I don't know about that. I'd think they would want to keep milking this cash cow forever. Maybe that partially explains the lack of queer canonical ships.

- SPEAKING OF WHICH, I've heard consistently from the fanbase that Hori is more progressive and more queer-friendly than other mangaka, but I honestly haven't seen any proof of this. Feels like wishful thinking. I've also hear that he's had other canon gay and trans characters, but the only ones I know of are Magne and Tiger, both characters that are simply implied to be gender nonconforming and maybe trans. But these are also not necessarily great portrayals, even if they are intended to be canon. Maybe there are characters in other works of his that I don't know about.

- maybe I'm jaded, but I also can't shake the assumption that Hori purposefully implied Izuocha at the end because he doesn't like his main characters being seen as gay. We've seen this in many other fathoms. Even if Hori didn't want to make BKDK canon, there are other popular queer ships that could have been given a tiny spotlight if he really wanted to have that representation.

- this is going back to shipping a bit, but Hori had this entire manga to create a meaningful relationship between Izuku and Ochaco and he just... didn't? Instead he literally and figuratively pushed them together at the end? Why not show them going on cute dates and getting closer? Why not a kiss? It just feels like a half-hearted cop-out. Ochaco has more chemistry and more screen time with Toga's ghost living in her brain than with Izuku. I am not exaggerating.

- I think Hori has a major case of "oops I accidentally wrote a powerful queer love story" syndrome (see also: Destiel) and just didn't know what to do with that. There's so little room for chemistry with other characters when you make the entire story about Bakugou and Izuku's relationship. 👀

- I think a lot of fans put Hori on a pedestal and expected perfection, but it turns out he's just one guy and he can't please everyone. I never got the vibe that he was a particularly great writer, and I never got the vibe that he was going to make BKDK canon. I think he (kind of like a certain JKR) created an amazing world and beloved characters, and then really fumbled at the very end when all the pressure was on.

Okay, I think I've cleansed my brain enough of all this.

TLDR: I think Horikoshi's writing has unfortunately been going downhill for a long time and this is the culmination of that. I feel bad for the man because he's probably under so much pressure and so burnt out - he wants to be done. Maybe we would have gotten something better if Hori could take some extended breaks or hand off the manga to someone else.

I'm disappointed about BKDK but more in an "I'm disappointed that we couldn't have this representation in 2024" way than a personal way. I would have preferred no ships. I'll keep enjoying fan content of lots of different ships that aren't canon and you should too! The canon can't hurt you! I hope we get the queer shounen we all deserve one day.

[luminiera-merge]

mean-spirited birthday cards are the most depressing thing. like i’m aware making playful jabs at each other is usually a part of friendship but why is “haha you’re old and unattractive and past it and your life is worse than it used to be” an acceptable sentiment just bc it’s a card

[windkonig]

when people say "ok but x bug has no benefit to nature" I bet they can't even name 5 facts about the bug they're shitting on. so how could they Possibly know what its function is in the environment and if it's "useless" or not

wasps being the perfect example, I still get people saying "oh bees are cute and pollinate :) yay. but WASPS ARE EVIL and they don't contribute ANYTHING!!!" and it's like buddy. wasps pollinate too. they also control spider populations. they do a lot of great valuable things. but even if they didn't, they're still worthy of being here. I see SO much hatred toward wasps and I wish people would try to learn a little more about them.

I'm mainly talking about paper wasps here because these are common ones we run into in daily life and most commonly deemed "aggressive". but wasps have body language. and if you learn to read this language and learn how to properly act around them, things will go a lot better for you! wasps can be curious creatures and they may come up to observe you, especially if you're wearing something brightly colored. this can be startling for sure, but my best advice is to just be still, DO NOT SWAT or wave your arms. try to just back away or sidestep so it loses interest and leaves. swatting is just gonna make them feel as if they are being attacked and increase your chances of being stung.

many stings happen due to unfortunate but accidental circumstances. unknowingly getting too close to a nest, stepping on a wasp on accident, one getting stuck in clothing, etc. I got stung once while gardening, went to pull a weed and the wasp was on it, so I grabbed her without knowing and she stung me because she was scared. this doesn't mean "oh wasps are AGGRESSIVE and EVIL" it means you stumbled into an unfortunate situation where the wasps felt threatened and defensive. instead of being like "FUCK all wasps" go forward trying to learn about common nesting areas, be wary of holes in the ground, wear gloves while gardening, and if you do have to be around a nest, try not to make a lot of noise. if the nest absolutely needs removed, call a professional.

[leafostuff]

Blind sexDate[Ft. StayC's Isa & Fromis_9's Chaeyoung]

Tags: none, its a threesome

Word count: 6.5K

Author's: that...took a while, started to write this in 26th of August so i did take a very long time to finally have this out but here it is: my October upload

I really want to thank @prael @capslocked @octoberautumnbox and many others from the discord for helping me with stuff I wasn't sure about, i am really proud of that fic and i hope everyone else will enjoy reading it as much as i had fun writing it.

=================================

She sounds pretty.

It's the lilt of her voice, how it does a cute thing where she almost, but not quite rolls her r's and chews on her consonants. A voice that sounds like it belongs to someone small. Someone, you know - conventionally attractive. 

Four minutes, fifty-five seconds. And that's pretty much all she has going for her.

"Let me tell you about my friend's vacation," she starts again, and you've lost track of if this is the same friend, same vacation - or a new one. They're all blending together.

you always thought the ‘blind’ was a figure of speech. it's fucking pitch black, you wonder if compared to the other guys you were underdressed,, you did see one guy with a blazer and jeans your paycheck couldn't even pay a quarter of it.

But back to the girl, her non stop ramble is now a background noise in your ears, not even sure you can recall who is the ex of who and which boyfriend cheated on her best friend with her sister. Your brain can't keep up.

but regardless, the first round is thankfully over, say your goodbyes to the first girl and stay in your chair.

you consider leaving right now to try and not get disappointed even more, however…

“Hey” The next girl is already here, it will be rude of you to leave just like that.

“Hi I am Jake” you respond

“Nice to meet you, my name is Chaeyoung, but you can just call me Isa” she responds. The first impression you gather is her voice, Airy and sweet like honey

“Huh, it's a pretty name, First time I ever heard a name like that ” you can hear a quiet giggle to your compliment.

“Thank you, I am actually from South Korea, I came here to LA for summer vacation”.

“That's cool, I actually live in LA myself” You lean back in your chair, getting comfortable around the mysterious girl.

“Oh wow” you could hear the excitement in her voice. “Do you have any places you can recommend to me?” she asked.

“Uhh…well, Here in Santa Monica Pier it's always fun for tourists too walk around here, I assume you have already been at the walk of fame in Hollywood and Universal studios” you answer. 

“I have to say though: this whole dating in the darkness is very fun, isn't it?” Fun is certainly one way to describe this, the other way is a gamble but for the sake of keeping the conversation fun you agree with her.

“Its like all of my other senses are much stronger, like some superhero…” Isa giggles, it's addictive that you can't help but join, with the sound of small shifts on her chair you can imagine how she is doing some battle poses.

“Hehe thats truuu-” quickly shut your mouth, that voice crack was the last thing you needed on a date but fortunately for you, Chaeyoung sounds a short laugh.

“Nervous?”

“hehe…Yeah, been a while since i was on a date” you explain, recalling your experiences with your failed relationships, it still stings a bit.

"Let's play a game then." There's some faint sounds of movement—a ruffling of clothes and the creak of a chair. She sounds clearer now, her voice doesn't have to carry as far and she's far more pronounced. 

"Help you relax a bit: What do you think I look like?” she asks, her tone is playful and happy as if she is the host of a game show, This second date goes better than you expected.

“Hmm…let me think…I am gonna guess that you have…black hair…is it long?” Your first answer is hesitant.

“Not telling~” she responds with a playful note. “How about my clothes?”

There is curiosity in her voice, excited to see how you will respond, you could hear her fingers tapping on the table, remembering to not waste time. “Well, you sound like a sweet girl, like the simple things in life, so…” you pause, trying to imagine her in many different styles and clothes that could fit her in the 5 or so minutes that you got to know her. 

Remember who is wasting who’s time so better lock in your answer now and say.

“My guess is… a summer dress?” quite the answer you give out, and the way you say it like you are one answer away from receiving the grand prize of Chaeyoung's game show, but back to her answer…

“You think it's something I will wear?” Isa questions, her tone sounds like she is also imagining herself wearing one.

“Yeah, it looks cute,” you respond. “And its not too crazy to wear on a first date” you add, hearing a small giggle after.

“Ok, i will keep it mind next time we meet”

“Will there be a next time?”

“I don't see why not”

You're happy, a bit surprised it didn't take you that much time to find someone in this speed blind dating thing, expecting more or less what happened the prior date but here you are.

“It's your turn to guess now?” You ask, already feeling comfortable around her.

“Ok ok, so i-”

But sadly as if life has decided to cockblock you, the time is over as an alarm can be heard as a signal to switch, you can only look at the general direction of where Chaeyoung could be and sigh, showing your disappointment.

“We can always meet later if you want” you can feel her wanting to continue her date with you but every good thing must come to an end

“Of course, it was very fun talking with you”

“Same to you as well” you can hear Isa lift herself from the chair. “See ya” she added in a happy tone before leaving you at the lone table. You can't help yourself but smile.

“Maybe it won't be as bad as i thought” 

=================================

Time goes on and other girls come and go, however, you can't help but wonder more about Isa, what makes her laugh? What does she like to do on the weekends? what are her dreams, aspirations and everything in between, the curiosity killed you inside.

more importantly: you wonder what she looks like, outside of the darkness you were both in. If it wasn't clear enough: you are interested in her, they all say love at first sight doesn't exist but here you are, letting your mind fill with the idea of her.

You are set in stone of your choice, and there is no chance you will change yo-.

“uhm Hello? Are you there?”

Zoom out of your thoughts, focus on the husky, feminine voice coming from what seems to be in front of you. How long has she been sitting there? How long have you been daydreaming?? Thank god it's dark so quickly compose yourself before it can get awkward and start talking.

“Oh hi, im jake. Nice to meet you”

“Uhh, nice to meet you too,” she responds, it's not hard to hear the shakiness and in her voice showing her nervousness to you, the small shifting sounds in her chair. “I am Chaeyoung”.

You're caught off guard, the world is smaller than it seems with you meeting two girls Sharing the same name, “isn't that a Korean name?”

“Uh, yeah, how…how did you know?”.

“I actually met another girl named Chaeyoung before in here” you say, it would be funny if they actually knew each other but the chances are slim. It's not like you know every Jake either.

“Oh, that's cool…” she mumbled, sounding as if she was disappointed to hear it

The silence is now getting awkward, you both wait for the other one to start breaking more of the ice and it seems that she was the patient one between both of you since you are the first to give up and get the conversation going.

“So what do you do? For a living I mean” you are met with unintelligible mumbles as an answer, a bit unsure you ask her again to clarify.

“I…model, it's not super serious though” Chaeyoung quietly answered, you could hear light, quick taps beneath the table.

“Oh wow, I bet you are like, really pretty if you do modeling” you dont know how much confidence you got to say such a thing but you are already mentally face-palming yourself. You could feel yourself gaining some creep points in her mind over this comment.

“Oh, uhh Thank…thank you very much” Chaeyoung stutters, her tone jumps an Octave, sounding a small giggle. You can only sigh in relief that you didn't weird Chaeyoung out.

“I'm in LA for a photoshoot, since we finished earlier than expected i got a couple of days free to hang out around the city” she explains, still sounding nervous but much more at ease than before. “So what do you do for work, Jake?” She returns your question to you.

“Ah, I just work as a barista in a small café, nothing much.” you manage to say in a montone, unpleasant tone. You are a bit embarrassed that you have the chance to blind date a model while you are the equivalent of nothing compared to her

“It’s-It’s okay, i'm honestly not some super popular model” her words quickly come out of her mouth. “Besides, I can imagine being a barista is much more relaxing of a job, not trying to get every deal possible just not to lose money.”

“I mean, it doesn't pay much but it is less stressful,” you respond. You can hear two glasses of water placed on the wooden table with one of them handed to you, together with a straw since you could imagine how drinking from the cup would end like.

“So, what does a model like you” you stop, taking a small sip of the water to refresh yourself. -doing in blind speed dating?”

“It's just easier for me, usually when i go on dates I get nervous, and my eyes travel too much, and I kind of panic…” Chaeyoung explains, lightly giggling at her own experience before taking a sip from her water glass as well .“So I thought doing something like this could help me feel uhh you know… less stressed.”

“Hey, you do you, as long as you are comfortable.”

“Yeah, that's true,” Chaeyoung replied. Her voice turns less shaky and more clear than at the start of your date, it was clear that both of you had fun on that date.

So much so that in fact, you both were caught off guard by the timer for your date finishes and the lights suddenly turn up again, revealing the girl in front of you for the first time.

Right off the bat; you understand why Chaeyoung is a model.

A heart-shaped face and a delicate, soft jawline paired with brown, expressive eyes and Black shoulder-length silky hair that is enough to make every man look at her in awe, including you. Even her clothing is model-like with a Chic, stylish black off shoulder shirt and Denim jeans that show her features exceptionally well. By the way, you should say something before you will sound weird

“Oh, nice to meet you” stand up from your chair and raise your hand to a handshake.

“Nice to meet you too, i gotta say that i didn't see that coming at all” Chaeyoung cheerfully responded while shaking your hand, sounding a sincere chuckle while her eyes joined her wide smile.

“Same, i almost had a heart attack” you jokingly say while you get your jacket off your chair. “Say, wanna go outside? Maybe get to know each other more” she only nods, taking her jacket from her chair as you both head out from your table toward the exit of the bar.

=================================

“Oh, here you are” you recognize this airy voice, taken aback as you look at where the voice comes from.

Though you were right about the black hair, you did miss the mark on Isa's outfit. Short crop top and tight jeans, that cute summer dress was nowhere to be found.

Her cat-like eyes lock onto yours, she flashes a sweet yet devilish grin before heading toward the two of you.

“Gotta say Jake: i had a feeling you were good looking, but i didn't expect you to be this good looking” Isa compliments you, giving a small wink then her gaze turns to Chaeyoung with curious eyes.

“Your friend?” She asks you,

“Hi, I'm Chaeyoung, nice to meet you” She says, reaching her hand forward as Isa is suddenly taken by surprise.

“Um, I am Chaeyoung”

“That's my name”

“That's… also my name"

“What's your family name?” Chaeyoung asks, now intrigued by the other girl.

“Its Lee” Isa responds, now it's Chaeyoung’s turn to be surprised.

“that's also…my family name”

During this, you are just looking at what's happening in front of you. As much as you are curious, you are also worried since it seems like both were interested in dating you after this.

However, one quick look at each other, another one to look at you and then looking back at each other, the two girls started laughing, both covering their mouths to muffle the volume. You can only sigh in relief that it turned for the better.

Eventually they both let their laughs out as Chaeyoung speaks. “It's quite a surprise to meet another Korean here in LA”.

“Please, call me Isa, and same, nice to meet you too Chaeyoung” she replies, chuckling lightly as the other girl can't help but start chuckling as well before they reach their hand for a small handshake

“Well that went better than expected” you manage to slip in the conversation reminding them that you are still here.

“You also met him on Speed dating?”

Chaeyoung nods. “We were the last round before the lights turned on, you two met earlier?” 

“Yeah, the other guys were kind of boring but he was a breath of fresh air” Isa explains, turning her gaze to you and winking at you. You could swear your heart skipped a beat.

At this moment one question rose in your mind and as you looked at the two girls with an awkward look, they both realized what you were as they sounded a small ‘oh’ before looking at each other again. As much as you didn't want you, you had to choose one of the girls to be your date.

“You can go out with Jake” Chaeyoung quickly says, smiling sweetly and lightly pushing Isa toward you, both you and the cat-like girl are surprised.

“Chaeyoung? Are you sure?” you question, why was she suddenly

“Yeah yeah, I'm sure, You two met before I met you, so she should have you” she explains, her eyes joining her smile. You did feel bad about leaving Chaeyoung out however an idea was about to be suggested that would fix that problem.

Then again, you aren't sure if this was an actual fix…

“I dont mind you dating us both”

What

“What?” Chaeyoung raises her eyebrow in surprise at Isa, the one who suggested that idea out of the blue, you were not far behind Chaeyoung in your reaction as well, being completely confusement.

“I mean dont see why not, I like you, you like me, she likes you, You like her. I am bad at math but it doesn’t seem too hard to solve this problem” Isa explains looking at you, You and Chaeyoung swap looks, you can feel your cheek heating up and changing to a pink shade.

“I mean uh…as long as Jake doesn't mind, it's okay by me” Chaeyoung stutters, Isa likes this response as she smiles at her new friend, her arm goes around Chaeyoung’s shoulder.

“Im sure it will be great, So what do you say Jake?~” Isa’s voice is sweet when she looks at you with her warm smile, Chaeyoung���s smile is also there but is much more timid.

The choice was now in your field, you didn't expect there to be a third option in the first place and all in honesty: That idea seemed like trouble. But when Isa looks at you with her cheerful smile, standing like that next to Chaeyoung with a smile that makes them look together like the next cover page for a magazine, it's hard to say no to them.

And deep inside: you don't want to.

“Sure, if that's what you two want” you respond, it seems they are both satisfied with your choice as they look at each other with warm smiles. 

you honestly didn't mind this idea as long as they were both happy, besides, what's the worst that could happen?.

=================================

“Dang it!” Isa yelled, almost managing to block your hit of the air puck but it ended up inside the goal because of the unusual angle you shot it. “So…a model, that sounds like a cool job to have, no?” She directed her question to Chaeyoung, giving her the mallet she was holding.

“Huh? Oh yeah, it's fine, I'm not getting many offers compared to the average model” Chaeyoung answers, half focused on aiming the first shot before quickly shooting it at your goal. “but it's good money”

You reflect the puck. “I mean, if it's something you like to D-” Stop what you are saying and block the surprise attack Chaeyoung does, look at her cheeky smile as you know she almost scored“-Do, you can do almost everything you want” you continue what you were saying as you send the puck toward her direction.

“Yeah that's true” Chaeyoung smiled toward you, then quickly smacking the puck directly into your goal, getting herself a point. “So, what do you two work at?”.

“A Gaming cafe, Came to LA as a summer trip with my friends after exams” Isa replied, taking your mallet and shooting the puck from her side.

“Damn, compared to you two my job sounds boring as fuck, You are a model, you work at a gaming cafe, and i am just a barista at a cafe” you jokingly roast yourself, eyes moving from side to side with each side the puck goes to.

“Huh, not my first thought when it comes to your job,” Isa says, a bit surprised. “But…i imagine you look quite handsome in barista clothes” And there she goes again, with that flirty smile and curious eyes that you swear you fall in love deeper than you were.

Now look at Chaeyoung, not as flirty as the other girl but it seems that, unlike the first time you met her, she is much less tense, more at ease around the two of you, genuinely enjoying her time.

After the air hockey game is over and a quick stop to get some of LA’s finest street food (which the two seemed to really enjoy for their first time), the three of you are now sitting on the boardwalk, the sound of the waves going back and forth is singing in your ears, however now they topic of the conversation seems to get more…laid-back.

“So let me get this straight: your best friend is Korean, right?” You ask, Isa responds with a small nod

“And she has a British accent?” Chaeyoung continues your question, getting Isa to laugh again.

“Yes-” she stops talking to take a sip from the water bottle in her. “Fully Korean, with a British accent, one time my friends and I were listening to a song called ‘Run 2 U’ by some random group, and she said the name of the song as” she suddenly released a small chuckle unable to keep her cool.

“As what? Just tell us” Chaeyoung comments, half smiling as if she already knows the answer, Isa meanwhile slowly downed the water so she wouldn't choke before finally saying after a deep breath.

“Raeun tew yew…” The mock accent that Isa adds gives the punch line more of an oomph as you all start laughing, small tears of joy leave your eyes as you slam the wooden deck, meanwhile, Chaeyoung covers her mouth to hide the amount of blush she has on her cheeks from how hard she is laughing.

“Oh that was good, I didn't expect to laugh this hard” You exclaim, taking a deep breath as you now go back to staring at the waves. “Honestly…this date has been really fun, with both of you,”.

“Like-wise, we both enjoyed your company as well” Chaeyoung replies, sweetly giggling while her left fingers go to her hair, pushing it aside with the side effect of getting your cheeks slightly pink, luckily the weak lighting make it hard to see for the two girls.

“Same for me” Isa chimed in with a smile. “Say, want to continue it somewhere else? It's getting late” she prompts as a soft yawn escapes her mouth.

“Huh? Okay, if you want my place is close” you say, standing up from the deck as you lend your hand to help her stand up.

“That's great” She says as her gaze turns to the other girl. “You're coming as well Chae?”.

Chaeyoung suddenly tensed up in surprise. “Chae?” she asks, to which Isa just giggles at her rather cute reaction.

“Yeah, it's a cute nickname, you don't mind it, right?” Her tone is sweet when she asks her friend with a warm smile, that way when Chaeyoung smiles, she mirrors the same warmth with her own smile.

“Of course i don't” she responds, standing up and lightly stretching to gain some sense of her body, “So? Lets go”

“Great” Isa comments before turning her gaze to you. “Jake, mind leading the way?”

=================================

The ride home is quieter than usual.

Not that there were not any talks inside the cab you decided to take to your place, but most of the talking was done by the two girls, sitting on each side of you, only speaking in a language you can only assume is korean.

It’s a simple loop: Isa says something, they look at you (which you could only smile awkwardly at their happy gazes), Chaeyoung answers with something else and they start giggling, sneaking another look at you and then it goes back again.

Eventually the taxi stops, leaving you right in front of your apartment complex. “Hmm, it really is close to the pier” Isa commented, easy for her to say when the entire bus ride has been ten minutes but for you it felt like an eternity.

As you scale the stairs up to your floor and walk to your apartment, you manage to fish the keys to your apartment out of your jeans pockets and open the door.

“Well here we are,” you say, getting inside and turning the lights on, revealing the living room, a couple boxes of instant-noodles on the table, the tv is on with a random news channel. “As you can see, it's not that big but its co-”

As you turn around to look at the two girls, your mouth opens wide in shock.

In front of you is Isa, head tilted slightly to the side as her lips close the distance with Chaeyoung’s. Her hands are not left idle as they both smoothly travel across the older’s back, feeling every inch of her partner’s body.

Meanwhile Chaeyoung's eyes are wide open and her body froze, surprised by the sudden act of Isa. It's not long until she as well eases up into the kiss, gently closing her eyes and putting her hands on the younger’s hips, you can hear how tongues slowly starts getting into the mix as the two girls vocalise small hums and whimpers. Eventually the torture comes to an end as their lips part from eachother but not their hands

“That… was your plan in the…end?” Chaeyoung asks in between pants, trying to collect air to aid surprise

“Of course, and besides…” Isa answers, turning her head enough to get her eyes on you, more specifically a bit down from your eyes. “It seems like he enjoys the show”.

Look down at the visible tent that is forming inside your pants and your hand that is slowly stroking itself to the beautiful yet unholy sight in front of you, another look into their eyes and you can see the arousement both girls share at your own prize.

“Come behind her jake, she feels divine” Isa elongates the last word-just the right way to get you Following her prompt, walking toward the two girls and getting behind Chaeyoung, your hands wrap around her midriff and your lips find themselves on the back of her neck causing her to quietly gasp.

With each second that your threeway makeout session was passing you could feel your pants getting tighter and your lust growing larger, enough that in a very bold move you let your palm find Isa’s right buttcock, giving it a gentle squeeze that makes her release a soft moan and take a look at you with a slutty smirk.

“You sneaky motherfucker” she playfully said, getting one of her hands off Chaeyoung's hips and wrapping it around your length. “You're hard already” she exclaims, leaving the two of you standing in front of her, wanting more from her, and from each other.

“I cant wait any longer~” Isa breathily says, giving you two a playful wink before disappearing into your bedroom. As lust quickly takes over your body you grab Chaeyoung by the hips and pull her into a kiss, and by how Chaeyoung quickly reciprocates the kiss and doesn't pull away, you can tell she wants it too.

You don't have time to process the texture of Chaeyoung lips, or how her long, soft legs are wrapped around your waist. Your only goal is to get the two of you into the bedroom, where Isa sits on your king sized bed with hungry eyes, licking her lips in anticipation. 

You let Chaeyoung get on your bed as you quickly join the two girls while tossing your shirt off to the side of the bed letting the two girls marvel at your naked chest.

“Fuck” Chaeyoung mouthed.

“Told you he was hot” Isa adds, scooting herself in front of you to get a hold of your chest before leaning in for a quick peck on your lips. “You don't mind undressing yourself, do you? me and Chae here have a show we need to give you” No answer was needed besides a nod as you went to the edge of your bed, letting the two girls begin.

It starts with kissing, slow yet sensual with Isa taking the lead by Straddling Chaeyoung's lap while one of her hands begins to glide across Chaeyoung's curves, ending at her left breast. “Fuck unnie, the things i will do to have a body like yours”.

Chaeyoung elicits a muffled moan to the soft grope Isa gives her, eyes completely shut and her and head looking up to let the pleasure take over. Soon Isa begins moving her hands all around her body, giving every inch of skin attention until eventually she stops one hand on the hem of Chaeyoung's shirt, the other supporting her from behind.

“You don't mind letting me take it off, right?” A quick nod of approval from the older one and Isa begins to slowly pull it up, moving to the right to let you see how slowly but surely more skin is revealed until finally the shirt is completely above her head giving you a clear view of Chaeyoung's black, lacy bra.

During all of this you are hard as a rock, can't take your eyes off from the two girls in front of you, even while you attempt to zip your jeans and rid them off your legs leaving you only in your briefs. You could swear you saw Isa lick her lips at the first sights of your briefs.

“Can I take yours too?” Chaeyoung's question is needy, eyes showing every sign of want to her Partner, hands are not left idle either with both of them resting on the upper part of Isa’s midriff, slightly below her two mounds.

“Of course, Unnie” she responds, leaning her body back and relaxing herself to let the older begin a strip tease of her own, every second that passes raises the sexual tension between them to a new level.

Unlike Chaeyoung, Isa’s crop top is not as loose compared to her black shirt, revealing the younger's breasts, covered with a crimson colored undergarments of her own with nipples taut from the arousal.

“Much better” Isa sighs in relief, feeling lighter without her crop top that is now thrown somewhere to the floor as once again she looks at you with a soft gaze however her mouth is anything but, painted with a sultry smile that can only speak trouble, finally with a breathy voice she playfully asks

“You're coming, Jake?”

The way Isa says your name, it's enough to let your primal instincts take over you, every red light is now turned green as you quickly pull Isa from behind into your lap, feeling her naked skin in your palms, right hand rests on her breast while the left hand goes to her thigh, rubbing and squeezing it to your heart's content.

“Oh god, yessss” Isa hisses the last word, it was clear that she enjoys every second of this, enough so that she doesnt pull away but instead leans in, meeting you in a torrid, messy makeout session, you two don't notice how Chaeyoung has already got rid of her whole bottom, only with her bra on with fingers already inside her pussy, definitely enjoying the view.

“Don't just stand there Chae, join us” This might be the most confident thing you have said this entire evening but it sure works on her since Chaeyoung now sits in front of Isa, palms massaging her clothed thighs, giving you a free hand to grope Isa’s other breast.

Those are not the same girls you met a couple of hours ago during that blind date, any semblance of innocence and fluff was left outside the door, now replaced with Lust and it's oh so clear with how Chaeyoung's eyes get aroused with each button she pops out of Isa jeans until eventually she finds her undergarment, same color as her bra with a wet spot in the middle.

Knowing what Chaeyoung was doing, Isa takes her hands into her denim jeans, lowering both the jeans and her own panties before throwing them away, leaving her creamy, thick thighs for both of you to revel in.

With the excitement in your body. You don't notice how Isa left your grasp, crawling away with a sway of her hips from side to side, now near her Chaeyoung they both look at you with an inviting smile, now giving you a chance to see both of them in their full glory.

With a devilish smirk Isa now moves behind the older girl, her eyes looking directly at you in an attempt to lure you in. Then a click can be heard as Chaeyoung’s bra now falls onto the mattress, Isa quickly joins her as now in front of you, two naked, gorgeous ladies sit in front of you.

And finally, knowing what the last piece is missing from the puzzle, you finally grab the hem of your boxers, pulling it down to let your Hardened cock stand strong and proud.

“Told you he was big” Isa exclaims, giving a small nudge to Chaeyoung with a small giggle, her friend quickly joins her.

“Yeah…so big” she mumbles quietly, her finger inside her mouth, lightly chewing on it to hold in the excitement of seeing your size. 

However, you didn't come this far with them just to watch each other naked, and they are not either as without saying a word, the two of them playfully shove you down into the mattress and get into their positions.

It starts off with Isa finding her place on your legs once again, looking directly at you with her thighs wrapped around your cock, only the tip is exposed to the air as after a flirty wink, she starts rubbing her thigh on you.

“Oh shit, Isa…” 

You groan, the rest of your voice comes out as a moan that gets her excited, you could have witnessed the obscene act of her thigh job until the end of time, however it is quickly obstructed by Chaeyoung's ass planted on your chest, her rear side all for you to view how it moves, you are not surprised why she is a model with a body as divine as hers.

“Jake…i can feel you twitching ” Isa whines, feeling your tip slightly touch her entrance is enough to let some precum leak out of your tip with you releasing another moan.

“Hey, let me have some too” Chaeyoung interrupts, taking her thumb and brushing it over your tip and grabbing some of it as you could hear how she gives it a small lick before humming cheerfully at your taste.

“Ooo, he taste good~” how the fuck did you even think this girl was innocent again?

“Can I have some unnie?”

“Sure” as if Chaeyoung’s timing was perfect, your first shot of cums leaks out of your member as she quickly gets some on her fingers. 

“Say ahhh” Chaeyoung prompts as Isa happily obliges, letting her fingers get inside her mouth, tasting . Its down right torture how you are not allowed to see what might as well be a scene from an adult film but regardless you can only enjoy the sounds, its not like you didnt do it before.

As your libido starts growing, so does your confidence as your palms firmly hold each buttcock of Chaeyoung, feeling its texture by softly squishing it, kneading it like dough causing Chaeyoung to utter a moan while arching her body back to give you all of the signals that she is enjoying it.

“Okay, this is enough teasing, we want the real thing now” Isa exclaims, Freeing your cock from the confines of her thighs giving it a breath of fresh air as now she squats over your face, giving you a clear view of her shaven pussy. Chaeyoung meanwhile heads over to sit next to your cock, still standing, waiting for the next storm to hit.

“I assume I am still not gonna get a look aren't i?” You ask, trying to sound cocky however Isa didn't say anything as she was slowly lowering her body, obstructing your view once again. With her thighs around your body and her pussy so close to your face, you let your tongue out giving her lips the first lick, just to test the waters.

“Oh fuck, yess” You hear Isa muffled moans from pleasure, feeling her ass gyrating on your tounge, enjoying every moment as you could feel the friction of her thighs on your face.

“You should join us Chaeyoung-AH, i can see him waiting just for you~” you could feel yourself getting even harder than before by the way Isa playfully invites her friend, all the while she is overtaken by pleasure. you are excited to see how Chaeyoung goes off with you, however your thoughts are stopped with a loud groan, not expecting your cock to feel the tightness of her pussy wrapped around you.

After the first contact Chaeyoung starts slowly moving up and down, each dip takes your cock deeper inside her, you could feel how each time you were inside her fluids were coating you more and more. “Oh my god Isaaaaa-” she stops her sentence, quickly releasing a sultry, husky moan. “His f-feels so good…”.

“His tongue too unnie, he is eating me out so well” Isa adds. It's nice to hear the compliment, so much that you get the confidence to start moving at your own pace, pushing your tongue inside. Meanwhile your hands grope Isa’s ass, giving you the grip to start pushing your hips in a matching pace to chaeyoung’s downward movement, Causing the two girls to scream from pleasure, holding each other in order to not collapse on the spot.

You could only Imagine how the girl’s lewd expressions were, just from the ungodly sounds, the scent of lust and cum, and the feeling of their curves on your body you could guess the fun they were having, but it would not be over until you all finally relieved yourself.

“Are you close Jake?” Isa manages to form a question while looking down, you could only respond with a muffled ‘yes’ and a nod of approval.

“I'm close too guys, i have to cum” Chaeyoung replies, releasing another moan in between bohnces it seems like you were all in on the same train of thought as you could feel yourself getting closer to your climax, even without Isa’s Ass directly on your face your view was getting hazy from ecstacy.

“Shit girls, i am going to-” you couldn't even finish the sentence before finally releasing your cum, thank god you pulled out of Chaeyoung just in time.

Your thick load goes all over their bodies, on Chaeyoung thighs, on Isa’s midriff, some even spills on your own abs, you are also not alone as they both get their own orgasm which goes all around your body, Chaeyoung coating your cock and Isa spilling around your face and abs

It takes a while but eventually you are all drained, both girls fall into each of your side, finally giving you a chance to see the two girls laid on the mattress, their bodies painted with cum from the three of you, their faces happy and satisfied.

For a couple of minutes it's quiet, the only way you communicate is with your eyes, looking at each other not with lust but instead with a warm, peaceful gaze.

Eventually Chaeyoung finally breaks the silence. “Fuck, im not a virgin but i gotta say; that is the best sex i had in my life”

“Same for me, i don't know if i want a round 2 or to stop” Isa joins between heavy pants, her hands wrap around your body as she looks at you with the same warm smile she had back when you first saw her.

“I don't know about you two, but i need a good rest after this” you manage to say as you once again lay down on the bed, eyes looking at the ceiling with each hand goes behind the girls’s back, pulling them closee to you.

“Okay then, we will start cleaning and then join you” Isa replies, letting you close your eyes and get some rest. However not before you can hear faint sounds of slurping as you open eye and see Chaeyoung's lips wrapped around the tip of your cock, isa behind holding her hair and tying it to makeshift ponytail.

“Hmm, it seems you two wanted another” you say, smiling at the two girls.

“Hey, you're still hard and we are still horny, you complain?” Isa asks, her eyes locking into yours paired with a flirty grin and a cute wink.

Something tells you that you wont get a good rest from those two girls.

[entername322]

Someone like you

Chaewon (ex Izone, Le Sserafim) x Male Reader

Length: 17666 words

TW: Abusive relationship

Next part

Pain, that's all you can say about yourself. Why does falling in love always have a risk of heartbreak? Sometimes you wonder if the risk outweighs the gains. For your particular case, it doesn't, it never has. “...... and then I came home to see him decorated the whole place with flowers and candles. Isn't he so romantic?” Right, flowers and candles, you know where that was going. “Yeah, that sounds great Chae”, It felt like your heart was being plucked out of your heart and set on fire. Why is your love stronger than your heart, if only your love breaks before your heart does. “He's so romantic sometimes, I love him so much-, Awwww”, Her cries of pain distract you from the twisting feeling your chest feels.

“I'm sorry Chae”, You steady your hands and continue stitching her wounds. “It's fine, thanks for this Pup, I owe you a lot”, You cringed a little hearing her nickname for you. “Chae we're both grown up now can you please stop calling me that?” It's a cute nickname, which only hurts you more realising that this is as far as you can get from being with her. “No, you will always be the cute little puppy”, Yes you are, who's a good puppy? The guy who keeps simping for his crush even after she's been in a relationship for a year now. It's you by the way, you're the good puppy, so loyal to your master. “There, all done, now just the bandages”, A good puppy who has graduated from medical school, hey that means you can take care of your master even better now. “Is it really okay for you to do this for free?” What dog would ask their owner for money? Alright let's lay off the dog jokes, you're still lame by the way.

“It's fine, they're cheap”, Even if they aren't, you wouldn't charge her anything right? “Thank you, I really mean it. I don't know how I can even repay you pup”, Chae grabbed your arm, her warm palm felt like a red hot iron that scorched your skin. “Yeah, it's fine. It's my job to care for people's lives after all”, You tried your best to smile at her, to show her you're doing this out of the goodwill of your heart. “You're just so, kind and stupid sometimes. If only he can be more like you”, She muttered the last part but it was loud enough for you to hear it. It fucking hurts, so fucking painful hearing something so ignorantly brutal. “So, how's work? Everything is fine in the hospital?” If Chaewon noticed your pained smile then she doesn't show it. “Nothing interesting is happening so far, although there's an offer for a transfer. I haven't read much about it but it will be a year long ‘voluntary work’. It's not fully voluntary though because we're gonna get paid decently, and we're gonna be working with a few other volunteers from all over the country”, Chaewon tilted her head curiously, “Are you gonna take it?” You were surprised to hear her words. It caught you off guard so you didn't get to hear a little hint of anxiousness in her words.

“I don't know, it's interesting”, Maybe that's what you need, a time away from your crush. “Oh, I'm sure you'll do great in it”, Chaewon smiles encouragingly, which only hurts you even more. Honestly, what were you expecting? Did you think she would ask you to stay here? Tell you how much she needs her and doesn't want you to leave? Come on bro, she's not like that. “Yeah, I was thinking about taking it”, You didn't really mean that when you say that, however seeing her genuine encouraging smile made you really consider it for real. “Well, I need to go home, thanks again for today pup, I owe you a lot”, Chaewon stood up with a smile on her face ready to leave. “Yeah see you later Chae”, You just sit there watching her leave your place while a storm is brewing in your mind. 

“Fuck”, You muttered to yourself, completely unaware that Chaewon is also cursing herself once she left your house. “Goddamnit pup why do you have to leave. You idiot”, The stinging pain in her arm is gone, covered with the sour mood she felt in her heart. “It's been years already and you're still waiting for me”, Oh, she does notice your feelings it seems. Of course she does, the two of you have known each other for years now. The memory of your meeting plays very differently between you and Chaewon's mind. For her she remembers how clumsy and cute you were, stumbling over your own words, overdosing on teenage hormones because of talking to a girl. For you it was an embarrassing attempt at making a friend on your first day of highschool, something that would keep you up at night with cringe.

“Idiot”, She kicked a can on the road out of frustration, but it's not enough so she started stomping on it with the hope of burying down the guilt that's building inside her. It's not that she wanted to use you, but…… she's just busy, or so she thinks. Her boyfriend, uhhhhh his name is irrelevant, is a hassle to deal with. She loves him, he's kind and caring and honest and cute and kind….. it's just sometimes he loses his tempers. Sometimes he would, lash out and accidentally hurt her, but he never meant to do so. It's getting better now (It's not) his outburst is getting less frequent (Pretty sure the ideal and normal frequency is 0) and he always tries to make it up to her (With empty promises and lies). 

Chaewon stops stomping on the poor can and just stares at the sky, finally realising it won't help erase the guilt she's having. On her defence she wanted to help you get over your crush for her. She cares about you, and she wants what's best for you. She wanted to introduce you to her friends, let you fall in love with someone who will love you back. Sometimes she thinks about a future where you date someone else, then you and her can be platonic friends, a brother from a different mother. It's just that, when her boyfriend got mad, and she got hurt, she can't run to the hospital because they would pester her about it. She can't run to most of her friends or family because they would also pester her, you're the only one who can help her. You were, the only one who would enable her. Young people, they're so dumb sometimes, both you and her included.

“Haaaaa, why can't we just be friends”, Chaewon sighed, she's not blaming you for your feelings, it would be hypocritical for her to judge someone's feelings when she's being chained by her own feelings. When you told her about the project she wanted to say don't take it, she wants you to stay here, to help her. Thankfully she recognises how selfish she is, and encourages you to leave, to get over your own feelings. It hurts, it feels wrong, seeing you break away from your feelings. Perhaps she yearns to have the courage to break free of her own chains. “I'm back”, Chaewon put on a smile as she got back to her place, “Welcome back babe, how was your day”, Of course for now she can only put on a smile and let herself fall deeper into the abyss.

“Are you sure? You know it won't be an easy trip right?” It's been a week since that talk with Chaewon, and today you are finalising your proposal of joining the volunteer work to your boss. “I'm sure sir, beside…… I need some time away from this place”, Is running away considered a solid reason for joining a harsh voluntary work? “Hmmm, well, if your only reason for taking this job is just a getaway from whatever shit you're dealing here, I suggest don't”, You flinched hearing your boss. “I think I can handle the job boss”, You tried to sound tough, “You know, I always pity you”, That's kinda harsh. “You are a good guy, smart and very nice. You're just too nice I sometimes hope you didn't get scammed and used by other people”, Yeah that sounds kinda familiar alright.

“I want to try something new. I think I can handle the work, and it might help me too”, If you say that with a little more conviction it would sound cool you know. “Haaaaa, youngsters with their self-finding journeys”, He shook his head and signed the form, “Comeback here, in one piece”, A smile form on your face before you quickly nod and bow to him. It's odd, you don't exactly feel excited about it, but you don't feel scared or disappointed about leaving everything behind, you're just numb to it. “Stop daydreaming and prepare the other documents you need”, Your boss slammed his hand on the desk waking you up. “Ahhh right, thank you boss”, He shook his head and sighed seeing your awkwardness, “I really hope you didn't get shot out there”, He's joking right?

After submitting the rest of the paperwork you went back home, had a nice call with your mom where she absolutely desecrated you with her words. “Are you insane? You're doing volunteer work in an active warzone?” Holy shit you are? “I'm not working in the warzone itself, I'm just a civilian mom. I'll be at the refugee camp, away from the battlefield”, That's the word you keep repeating to her for hours before she finally calms down. “Just, tell me it's not because of that Chaewon girl”, 2 hours and 16 minutes into the call your mom finally asked the right question. “No, of course not mom”, You can't lie to your mom, she's the one who teaches you how to lie to your dad. “Are you an idiot? Did I spend months carrying you around and 20 years plus feeding and taking care of you just to have you die somewhere because of a heartbreak?” Oooffff, why can't you be more like your mom?

“No mom, it's I think I-”, A knock on your apartment door can be heard, “Hey pup, are you there?” Speak of the devil. “Mom I'll call you later”, Your voice came off shaky and anxious, the time has come to test your resolve of running away. “Yeah, just a second”, Take a deep breath, calm your nerves and try not to lose your composure.

“What happened?” Come on now, you know what happened, “It's not a big deal, just a scratch”, You reached out and grabbed her face, inspecting her cheek. Chaewon smiles seeing your concerned face, you've always been awkward and shy around her, except when she's injured. When she got a scar you would just disregard your shyness just to make sure she's fine, it's a cute gesture she always likes about you. “I guess, it really is just a scratch”, You sighed relief seeing it wasn't a deep cut, then you realised how you are holding her and immediately let go as your face turns into a tomato. What happened to maintaining your composure?

“So?” Chaewon just tilted her head cutely, “Are you gonna invite me in?” That's a pretty ambiguous question, would you let her in again? “Right come on in”, You're hopeless sometimes. Chaewon sat down at your living room, silently noticing the packed up bag you had in your room. Her heartbeat rises as she realises what it means, some part of her wants to deny it but the other part knows that your leave was inevitable. “Tea?” She smiles and nods as you go and prepare her some of her favourite tea, of course you have her favourite tea at your house. “So, what happened?” You asked after giving her a warm cup of tea, “You know, the usual. He had a stressful day at work, I was also kinda tired from mine and we just clashed”, Usually the ‘clash’ that happens is between her and his fist.

“Well, you know what I want to say right?” Chae shrugged before she stood up and walk towards your cat, “Little Luna is getting fat aren't you?” Chaewon picked her up and started pinching her stomach. “She's gonna cut your face you know that right?” Chaewon laughed and sat back next to you while still holding Luna. “Well, I'm sure you trained her not do that right?” Her smile is such a deadly weapon to your conviction. “It's a cat Chae, you don't train them, they'll train you”, And to hammer this point Luna let out a loud meow and scratched Chaewon's hand. “Luna '', You scolded the fat cat as she jumped off Chaewon's lap, “Hehehe, one day I'll make her enjoy my cuddles”, Chae laughed as you examined her arm.

“We should clean this up”, It's really not that bad, it's just a little cut on the epidermis, “It's really not that deep bro”, You flicked her head and cleaned up her hand as she teases you for over your perfectly reasonable hygiene. “So, can I crash the night here?” Her question made you stop in your tracks, not because it caught you off guard, but because you know she only asked if things really went bad at her place. “Pup?” Chae was taken off guard seeing how quiet you've become, “Chae, I…… can't do this anymore”, She raises her eyebrow hearing you. “Do what?” You sighed and finished cleaning up her hand before sitting in front of her.

“I can't, keep letting you hurt yourself because of-”, You start talking without thinking and Chae immediately bites back, “Stop it, I don't want to hear that from you”, She felt awful for raising her voice but she really doesn't want to hear those things. “Well this might be the last time you ever hear it from me ever again”, You blurted out, making her heart stop for a moment, “What?” Her voice sounds squeaky and vulnerable. “Chae, I'm leaving”, Seeing her suddenly had glassy eyes made you second guess yourself. “For how long?” It's hard for her to accept it, “The volunteer work is one year long, but it might be longer since I'm gonna arrive early to have some field training”, You can't look her in the face, it's painful for you to see her so hurt with the notion of you leaving. 

The two of you sit in silence for a while, Luna moves to your lap and starts purring as if she realised you're having a tough time right now. “Is it-”, Chae’s voice broke and she took a second to calm herself down, “Is it final already?” Yet it still came out all squeaky. You didn't answer for a second, hearing her concern for your leave felt nice. It's a dangerous bait, she's giving a false hope that getting her is actually plausible if you stay here. “Yes”, "Oh you actually didn't take the bait, good job, “I already submitted the required paperwork and they already approved it. My flight is in 3 days”, In your mind, you just think Chaewon is trying to use you.

After all this time you finally opened your eyes and saw that she's out of reach, she was never going to like you the way you like her. Obviously you don't really see the complex feelings she has for you but hey at least you're taking a step in the right direction. “How long were you planning to keep this away from me?” Seeing her being aggressive made you feel bitter, you hate seeing her with this new lens. “I didn't know how to tell you, besides…… I didn't think you would care”, Suddenly Chae grabbed your face forcing you to look at her. 

“You're my best friend, of course I care. Just because I encourage you to go doesn't mean you should just leave without saying anything”, It's painful, finally realising that the person you care the most is inherently toxic. You're not saying that she's in a toxic relationship because she's also toxic, but she has certainly dragged you into one because she is selfish. Chaewon needs you, because you're the only one who would enable her Stockholm syndrome. “It's just…… I don't know if I can face you”, You pull back your head away from her grip and look back at Luna who's acting cute to cheer you up. “What was that supposed to mean? You can't tell your best friend for, 8 or 9 years that you're leaving? And you just want me to accept that suddenly you went missing without saying anything?” 

“Chae….. you know I liked you right”, Silence fills the room, you anxiously wait for her responses, hoping that somehow she can break the new image you had for her. Yet the silence was long and the curiosity you had is too loud to ignore, so you raise your head and look her in the eyes. She wasn't surprised, or confused, or angry, she just had the look of understanding, “I know”, Those words flowed out of her mouth. It was so quiet that it was barely a whisper, yet it echoed through you like a thunderclap. When the ringing subsided the only thing you can hear is the loud crash of your heart breaking into a million pieces. She knew, this whole time she knew about it and never said anything. Had she enjoyed watching you squirm and dance for her while your feelings laid bare like an open wound? Was it some cruel game to her?

Chaewon felt regretful, seeing your heart break right in front of her is tormenting her conscience. It's inevitable, yet she was not prepared for how painful it was for her as well. “I know, and I'm sorry I never said anything-”, Chaewon saw you stand up and stop talking. “I….. god, this whole time?” Tears start to flow down your cheek, “I never meant to use you, I just, don't know what to say to you”, Chae reaches for your hand, her touch sending shivers down your spine, but not the comforting kind like it used to. It feels calculated, manipulative, a stark contrast to the warmth you once associated with it.

Chae sees the disdain you had in your eyes and it made her scared. Scared of losing you, scared of seeing you lose your temper, and worst of all, scared of having to confront the consequences of her actions. “Pup-”, You pull back your hand making her flinch, “Don't call me that. You….. you like seeing me like that didn't you? Being a good puppy, chasing you around, wagging my tail like a loyal dog”, Your words came out as a thunderous roar that made her squirm in her seat. “No, of course not, please I'm sorry, can we talk this out first”, Chaewon reached out to grab your hand again before pulling you to sit back down. “I….. I can't, you're just…….. I….. this whole time…..”, You just keep muttering to yourself. “Please sit down, I'm sorry I messed up okay? Can you please hear me out first?” Chae pleaded as tears also started to pour down her face. Those tears, they're real, but not to you, you think you know better and managed to see through her ‘manipulation tactics’. You grabbed your phone on the table and just stormed off the apartment, running as far away as you can from her.

Chae wanted to stop you, to reach out and grab you, yet her vision is blurred and she can't even see you leave the front door as the floodgates burst open. She can't even hear you slam the front door as she starts to cry her heart out. Her actions can only lead to one outcome, and she knows the longer she stalls the confrontation the worse the fallout is going to be. Unfortunately in her delusion she hopes that one day you'll just let go of your feelings and everything will be good. Your apartment, once a safe haven for her, is now empty and devoid of your warmth. The ‘beautiful friendship’ built upon the unspoken words between the two of you has crumbled like a house of cards by a single gust of wind. Hours passed away before her tears finally dried out. Chaewon lay down on the couch devoid of energy, all she can do right now it's just text you hoping that you'll answer her. 

You on the other hand are being absolutely ripped apart by your mom, “You ran all the way here?” Her voice boomed around the house. “Haaaaa, Haaaa, haaaaa, nooo……” Your whole body is drenched by sweat, your mom's place is like a 30 minute train ride and you just ran there like a mad man. “You idiotic rascal, tell me what you did”, Your mom starts slapping you as you are dying from exhaustion. It took a while for her to calm down and give you a drink. Throughout your recollection of what happens your mom keeps the same expression, it was the ‘I told you so’ expression. Once you finished the two of you just sat there in silence, you wanted to say something but words just couldn't come out of your mouth. “Haaaaaa, go take a shower and get some rest darling, you're all sweaty and smelly”, You nod before going back to your childhood bedroom.

As you finish a long hot shower you see Chaewon has messaged you almost a hundred times already alongside a few missed calls. You just stare at the notification, too scared to open it. In the end your fatigue overtake you and you slowly drift off to sleep without reading her texts. The next day you silently join your mom at breakfast, she sees that you're not ready to talk yet so she just silently acknowledges it before giving you farewell as she went to work. The day passes by slowly,  it doesn't help that you were just laying down on the bed as you rethink what happened last night. Is Chaewon really a toxic bitch, or was she just a product of her environment. Are you seriously trying to give her a pass for what she did? Okay yeah she's your friend for years now and you've seen her slowly turn from this confident and unapologetic girl into a meek abuse victim. However does that excuse her behaviour of leading you on for years? 

No, I need to give her the benefit of the doubt. I need to hear what she has to say at least. One chance, after all I'll be gone soon and I might not be able to see her again for a long time.

Alright, if that's what you want, just know you might lose yourself in her eyes again. “Mom, I need your opinion on something”, That's not exactly a polite way to greet your mom when she gets home. However she nods and follows you to the living room where you recounted your dramatic talk with Chaewon. “Darling, look at me”, Your mom grabbed your hand, “You are being an idiot a hundred percent”, Jeez thanks mom. “But if she is as manipulative as you said she was then it's also not fully your fault. After all, you can't really blame a victim fully for being taken advantage of”, Hey that's not an encouragement for your stupid idea. “Yeah, you're right mom….. I guess a toxic environment would make toxic people right?” Fucking hell you're hopeless. “What? Are you letting this slide already?” Thank fuck your mom wouldn't let such stupidity pass, “No, I just…. I guess I want to understand why she did it. After all I'm gonna be away for a year at least and if I don't get this straight then I might spend the better part of my time being distracted by her”, That's not a convincing argument, at least not for your mom.

“ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? You just said she's a manipulative bitch and now you want to run back to her with the risk of you falling for her trap again?” It felt kinda nice, channelling the pain you're having in your heart with your mom's beating, however you should stop her before she accidentally kills you. “Mom, I just want to leave this place with some peace in mind, okay? Can you just trust me this one time?” The answer is no, but she took a deep breath before she examined you slowly. “I'll trust you just this once, how do you plan to meet her again?” Relief and determination washes over you seeing that your mom has agreed to let you have closure. “I'll text her tonight hopefully we can have lunch before I leave in two days”, Solid plans, surely nothing bad would happen. “Fine, now go order something for dinner, I'm starving”

You: Hey, sorry about yesterday 

Chae: Where are you? Why did you ghost me for the whole day? Do you have any idea how worried I was?

You: No sorry Chae I'm at my mom's house already. Sorry for running off like that yesterday 

Chae: It's fine, are you coming back?

You: Not today, I need some sleep to clear my mind.

Chae: Then, can we talk tomorrow?

You: I hope so. Can we meet up at lunch?

Chae: That would be nice, I'm sorry too.

You: Yeah, guess we were too hot headed last night 

Chae: Yeah, I'll see you back here at your place tomorrow then?

You: You're still there?

Chae: Duhhhh, you left with your keys dangling on your phone, what am I supposed to do? Leave the door unlocked so someone can break in?

You: Oh yeah, I forgot. I'll come by at lunch then, I'll see you tomorrow.

Chaewon has been spending the day with her mind full of anxiety. She's scared that you might do, something drastic. The fact that you didn't answer or even read her text made her think of the worst possibility. However when you finally reply she lets out a sigh of relief knowing that you're fine. Tomorrow, she has to apologise to you, she has to make sure you leave on a high note. If things go wrong and you leave before she can mend this friendship then the two of you would never recover from it. She can't let that happen, after all you're also an important part of her life. Even though it wasn't in the way that you wanted it to be.

You see, the thing about life, it has a humorous side. To whom might the humour cater to? Nobody knows really, but it certainly wasn't aimed at you and Chaewon. “Chae come home now”, Those words are the things Chae feared the most. After every fight her boyfriend has two possible routes he will default too. One, surprise her with gifts and romantic gestures to make sure she remembers how nice he can be. Second, he can double down and try to ‘reason’ with her by making her accept that his outburst is just part of who he is. Unfortunately, today he decided to take the second option, which means if Chaewon didn't comply there's gonna be a second fight. “Can I see you after lunch, I'm-” Her hand is shaking anxiously when she says, “NO, come home now”, And when he interrupts her she almost drops her phone. “Babe please, I have an appointment at lunch”, She pleaded, “Babe…… come home”, He used his cold voice which is the final warning, and Chaewon can only curse her own luck, “Okay, I'll be there as soon as I can”

Chaewon quickly scrambled throughout your apartment, “Fuck me, why the fuck can't anything to right for once”, She glance over the flight ticket you had and memorise the schedule before quickly wrote a note on pen and paper. “Fuck, pup please, for the love of god please understand, I promise I can make it up to you”, She pray, to whomever would listen and grant her wishes. As she writes some tears start to fall down her eyes and stain the paper. It was supposed to be a short note saying how her boyfriend suddenly called and she hopes you can reschedule lunch. However, due to her frustration she ended up writing a long essay saying how much she's sorry and even writing out about the things she wanted to tell you in person. During this she was interrupted with a text message from her boyfriend asking her where she is. Chaewon haphazardly finishes the note before bolting out of the apartment, leaving the door unlocked.

A few hours later you anxiously knock on your apartment door, waiting for her to open the door. Every second felt like an eternity and as time passes your stomach starts to twist making you feel like you want to puke. “Chaewon?” You tried to unlock your door to find it was unlocked, walking inside you call up to Chaewon but the only response you get is Luna purring on the couch. It was clear, she wasn't here, “Fuck”, For the first time in forever you actually yell out your frustration. On the coffee table you find a stack of paper, glancing over it you easily recognise her handwriting. 

This is it? This is how we're parting ways Chae? With a stack of notes?

Take a deep breath, calm your nerves and sit down on the couch, try to read the note with an open mind.

Hey pup, sorry but babe wants to meet me. You know how it is, I don't want to make him mad. I really, really, really, like I mean really feel bad for leaving you this note but I sincerely hope you understand. I know I don't deserve to ask for another chance but I hope we can reschedule our lunch tomorrow. If you don't want to, I get it. It'll hurt but I get it. The thing is pup, I never want to hurt you, I really don't. You're kind, strong and smart, I always admire how mature you are and how you can get your shit together. It's hard for me to say this, but I'm sorry that I never felt any romantic attraction towards you.

I don't want to make this cliche but it's not you, it's just me. I know you're cringing right now but just know that sometimes people just aren't made for each other. I love you, as my friend. Sometimes I dream of a different life for us. One where you and I can stay as friends, one where you're my shy, innocent and diligent little brother and I can be your caring and teasing older sister. I know it's hard for you to read this but just know even though you and I are not meant to be, you still have a special place in my heart. And I'm sorry, I never say anything about this.

I was scared, I was confused and I was distracted. Fuck it sounds so bad but I really wanted to help you get over those feelings pup. It's selfish I know, but I want to fix my relationship with my boyfriend before I start making things up for you. You know I have a lot of friends, I know you've been eyeing Kazuha some times, and I know she is interested in you. Fuck, I really wish things would go a different way. I wish we could be best friends forever, you and I, confiding in each other. I hope it doesn't sound too harsh but you and I are special, it's just, not in the way you hope it would be. 

When you said about this volunteer work I might encourage you, but deep down I was scared. I know one day you'll finally snap and confront me about this weird dynamic between us. When you say about an opportunity to leave and get out of your shell I was scared that you'll leave me and come back as a different person. I was scared, because in this fucked up and chaotic world you were the one who made me feel safe. Someone that would understand my struggle and help me through it. However on the other hand I wanted you to break off your shell. This whole time you've been living for me, for the hope that I'll be yours. I wanted you to find your own path and find yourself, get away from me so that you'll find a way to let go of your feelings.

Now, writing this whole thing I realised, I can't keep being selfish. I hurt you enough, dragging you down to a toxic relationship unintentionally. So, if you're looking for a farewell, I'll give it. Go out there pup, save people's life, realise that you're much more than what you've given yourself credit for. I hope you'll break free of the collar I've put on you this whole time. You're an amazing person, and I hope you can live up to your potential. Maybe one day, once you come back you'll find a reason to forgive me. For the pain I cause you, for all those medical supplies you've spent for me, for ditching our last meeting with these notes. I know I don't deserve to ask anything from you, but this time, I ask you to be happy. I ask you to let me go, and just, find someone who can love you as much as you love me.

Fuck I've been rambling for too long already. Pup, if you do feel like meeting me before you fly away just text me. If you don't, I'll understand. I won't let you go without saying goodbye to your face though. I remember your flight schedule, so if you don't want to meet me again I'll go there and just, wave you goodbye. Stay strong pup, I hope we can meet again.

Chaewon's tears that have stained the paper are almost gone, replaced by your own tears that almost render the paper unreadable. Is this the closure you wanted? Was there some sliver of hope you still hold on to thinking Chae might actually have some form of romantic feelings towards you? It's bittersweet, although the sweetness is nowhere to be found, you know one day you can see this note with fondness. Maybe this note will be the catalyst of your change. But for now, you just had to swallow this bitter pill and move on. Well, cry your heart out first, let the catharsis calm you down after.  “Fuck Chae, I don't know if you'll still be here after I come back though”, Yeah that's a fair point. “Don't die, please don't die while I'm away”

The whole day, and the day after, you just felt this new energy flowing through you. There's still some pain and bitterness there but you understand, it's the first step towards the right direction. Your mom also seems to be pleased with the outcome of this. “Okay, maybe she's not as bad as I expect her to be darling. She's pitiful, that's the best way I can describe her”, Just like how you are attached to Chaewon, your mom also had some attachments toward her. After all, Chaewon was the person who has been keeping you safe from bullies and was one of the only genuine friends that is still in contact with you after all these years. “Mom, can I ask you a favour?” Your mom nodded confidently, she knew what you wanted to ask. “I know darling, I'll take care of Luna while you're away. And I'll make sure that your dear friend will still be in a recognisable state when you come back”, The lady part needs some better wording but that will do.

“Thanks mom, and if she contacts you, can you just give her these?” You hand her a little gift box, “Darling, this isn't a therapy appointment, she won't need this”, Hopefully you can find your mom's sassiness within you in this year long journey. “Just, give it to her okay mom? I'll be off”, She nods and kissed your forehead, “Don't die out there sweetie, I love you”, She smiled at you, a mother's encouraging smile is an over powered buff, “I love you too mom”

Let's move back to Chaewon, she knows it's your departure day and she read your text saying that you won't mind seeing her wave you goodbye at the airport. However, like usual she is being held back by someone. “Chae I need you to stop lying to me okay?” The calm tone her boyfriend is talking in is unnerving. It was like an ice pick that's being stabbed to Chaewon's fresh open wounds. “I'm not lying babe, he really is just a friend”, Chaewon cried, she doesn't want to cry because- “Liar”, He would scream at her, *CRACK* a loud smack echoes throughout the room as he slapped her with all his might. “I wasn't, babe please believe me. He's leaving for a year. I promise I just want to say goodbye to him”, Chaewon cried out as she lay on the ground while her body was screaming with pain. “I know you spent the night with him, Chae, don't lie to me. I let you off this whole time because I know that pussy won't be brave enough to make a move on you. But you, I know you fucking sluttyness knows no bounds. You were giving him a farewell gift, weren't you? You let him have sex with you after years and years of simping for you. Now you want to go there and make him rethink about leaving so you can keep him. I know a fucking bitch like you would keep a side man, a second option”

After a while he just left her in his house. Chae lays down on the floor, face messed up with tears and bruises, her body is exhausted from the mental and physical torture she's been subjected too in the last two days. She lay down there for god knows how long before she finally regained her consciousness. Looking at the time it's already an hour past your departure. Her tears are already dried up so she can't even let out her frustration anymore. “I'm sorry pup, I really do”, Not long she heard a knock on the door, “Hello, anyone in there?” It was a familiar voice but she can't remember who it is. Chaewon tried to stand up but her body could barely move. She wanted to say something but no words came out of her mouth. “Hello, I'm looking for Kim Chaewon, is she here?” Chae realises that whoever's behind that door is trouble, but her voice, Chae could swear she knows her from somewhere.

Chaewon tried to stand up but she failed and just fell down and caused some of the empty beer bottles on the table to fall alongside her and shatter on the floor. “Hello? Is everything alright?” It wasn't, some of the glass shard hit Chae which made her let out a barely audible painful whine. “I'm coming in”, Then a loud slam can be heard from the door before it opens. From the floor Chaewon is laying on she can finally see the person that's looking for her, it was your mom. “Jesus, what happened”, Your mom immediately ran up to Chae, her mind racing with concern, and hatred for Chae's boyfriend. “Ma'am, what are you doing here?” Chae flinched when she felt the older woman's hand examining her wounds. “I'll tell you later, did your boyfriend do this to you?” Chae flinched hearing that question, it's not the first time she heard her ask that. “Fine, don't answer if you don't want to. Let's get you to the hospital”, In one swoop she grabbed Chaewon and just carried her away. Usually she'll refuse this type of help, but now you're no longer there to help you, and she's too weak to refuse so she just let herself get taken away. 

Your mom lay Chaewon in the backseat of her car before she took her radio and contacted the nearest hospital. “Dispatch, this is Unit 23 responding. Requesting immediate medical assistance. One injured victim, multiple bruises, possible head injury and a few lacerations due to glass shard on her arm”, Chaewon struggled to stay awake and ultimately went unconscious again before she even reached the hospital. “Hang in there kid, my son gonna kill me if he come home to find you dead”

A few hours earlier you were waiting at the airport, hoping for Chaewon to show up and wave you goodbye. However as the time for departure was nearing Chaewon was nowhere to be seen. You text her and she didn't read it and when you finally boarded you ended up calling your mom to check on Chaewon. As you were busy worrying for her, a girl suddenly sat down next to you, “Hello, are you also here for the volunteer work?” Oh shit, Chaewon who? “Oh yes, I'm from Serenity Medical Institute, nice to meet you”, Hey maybe moving on won't be that hard after all. “Nice to meet you too, I'm Minju from the Oasis Regional Hospital”, Minju gave you a weird look when you heard where you came from. 

“Serenity Medical Institute huh, I didn't know they sent anyone for this”, Seating next to a beautiful girl like her made you feel nervous yet somehow she looks more nervous than you. “I am the only one who's going”, You smile a little embarrassed. “Really? That's surprising”, Minju smiled, “Well how many people went from your hospital?” She thinks for a second, “Probably 12?” Is your hospital just very stingy? “That's a lot, I didn't expect so many people would actually be interested in doing these kinds of stuff”, Would sending 12 medical personnel cause some problem in the hospital? Wouldn't it get crippled due to the lack of personnel? “Yeah well, it's not like we're short on people, also doing this will give our hospital some subsidies that would help a lot”, Minju looked at your confused face and got confused herself.

“You get subsidies? I don't think I read that part in the application form”, Do you even read the form though? “Well yeah the form is made asking for international aid. The subsidy is our government's way to encourage the nation’s medical personnel to help”, Did they just send you for the government money? “Although I don't think Serenity would care about that type of stuff”, She was sending some jabs to you but you didn't catch it. “Really? Why do you say that?” Minju furrowed her eyebrows trying to see if you're messing with her, “Well, because it's the rich people hospital”, Your genuine confusion took Minju off guard. “Really? I never knew”, Minju stares at you for a second, “How did you get a job there?” This is a good time to point out how clueless you are at everything.

“Well, after I finished college the owner, well I think he's the owner, came to me to offer me an internship. He said he knew my father and owe him once”, Pretty sure you never met that guy again, also your mom tore you a new hole after you accepted the offer thinking it must be a scam. “See, there's almost no way for people to get in without nepotism. The place has such a service fee that most of its clients are millionaires”, Minju saw you even more confused which frustrated her. “I thought the hospital was the best hospital in the country. I mean, wouldn't that be the reason for the high price?” She clicked her tongue hearing your response.

“Yes, but also because the benefactors and clients are some of the richest people in the country. Most of the people working there have been working there for generations already. It's almost impossible for someone to start working there fresh off college. Any new recruits needs to have at least 10 years of experience in any other prestigious hospital before they have a chance for an examination by them”, You are very clueless about most things. “Huh, I never knew about that”, Minju pinched herself to see if she's hallucinating, there is no way someone is this dumb right? “What's your parents job?” Could it be, you're just a savant in the medical field that attracts their eyes? “Well, my father was a firefighter, and my mom is a cop”, That doesn't sound like a rich person's job.

“Huh, then….. Did your father save someone's life and that person happened to be a very important person?” You shrugged, seemingly not caring about that, “Maybe, I mean he died when I was a kid and mom said he saved a lot of life so maybe he saved someone important and the guy gave me a job out of gratitude?” Minju was baffled with how little shit you're giving about this. “That's…… I'm sorry about your father but do you know how lucky you are? There's people who would die to have a job at your hospital”, This rubs you the wrong way. “Why? What's the difference between your hospital and mine? I mean you and I still both save lives regardless where we work so it wouldn't matter right?” Minju was taken off guard again, you sounded so genuine with your words that she felt embarrassed for forgetting the main job of a doctor.

“You're right, sorry I didn't mean to come out as a materialistic person”, You felt guilty seeing how embarrassed she is, “Oh no don't be, I'm sorry I didn't know most of those things so thank you for telling me this”, Minju smiled at you. “You're just an innocent puppy aren't you?” Eeeehhhh, are you an actual dog? How come two beautiful and completely different girls can see you the same way like that? “I guess”, She laughed seeing you reluctantly accept her nickname. “So, since we'll be working a lot closer from now on I think this would be a perfect time to get to know each other right?” This whole thing feels nostalgic, it's a deja vu for the first time you met Chaewon.

No, I can't keep living in the past. Come on, I'm on this trip to break free of my shell. Be more confident, talk to her. Fuck what if I fall for her and it end up the same way as I did with Chae? Fuck I'm not gonna find anyone if I keep being scared.

“Of course, why don't you start first?” Minju did start first, and she also took the majority of the speaking time because you're too shy to speak up. In the middle of it you got a text from your mom informing you of Chaewon's condition. “You're okay?” Minju said after seeing you turn catatonic for a while, “Oh, yeah just, something came up”, Your voice sounds shaky and you turn around to watch out the window. Minju stays silent after realising that you're not in a talking mood, although she is curious about the situation. Moreover she's curious about you, she finds you to be pretty cute and attractive, and your innocence has some charm to it.

After a while your mom texted back informing you that Chae is stable for now and sent you her medical report. You read through it extensively, the more you read it the more you regret going on this trip. Without you there Chae would probably run back to her boyfriend after being discharged from the hospital. Well, even if you're there you won't be able to stop her from going back to him. It's like you are Sisyphus and she is your boulder, no matter how hard you try, she will always stumble down the hill into her boyfriend's arms. “Hey, you're okay there?” Minju decided to speak up seeing how distraught you've become, “Ahhh no, something came up”, Having someone to talk to would be nice, but would she care to hear a story of a complete stranger? “I don't mind listening you know, if you don't mind sharing of course”, Minju smiles at you, “Well, I have this friend, her name is Chae…….”

.

.

.

“Uggghhh”, A pained groan escapes out of Chaewon's mouth before she even gets to open her eyes. As she tried to sit up a hand stopped her from moving, “Take it easy now kiddo, you're still hurt”, This time she immediately recognised your mother's voice. “Ma'am, I….. where am I?” Chaewon tried to open her eyes but the room was too bright for her so she immediately closed it again. “In the hospital, you were pretty rough when I saw you”, The first thing that came up in her mind was to run, anything involving hospitals is bothersome, from the bills to the questioning she'll get. Thankfully she's well aware that your mom wouldn't let her run so easily, so she just lay back on the bed trying to regain her stamina.

After half an hour or so she is able to open her eyes and sit on the bed, looking around the place she realises where she is right now. “No, my son already left”, A quick reality check from your mom completely buried her hopes of having you delay your departure. “Why……. Why did you come to my place?” It's hard for her to look at your mom in the eyes. Unlike you, your mom has this dominating aura around her that shows she takes no shit from anyone. “My son asked me to check in on you when you didn't show up to his flight”

Oh right, I ghost him again. Fuck how can I keep messing this up?

“Listen kiddo, I never liked you. For years I've already told my clueless son that you're leading him on and he never listens. I would've confronted you but I digress because he always told me not to”, It's really jarring feeling the difference between you and your mom. Her words and piercing gaze made Chaewon shivers in her place. “And worst of all you actually push him to take a dangerous job off country just because you two can't be a grown up and talk about your feelings”, Just for the record, your mom was trying to not be overly hostile, she just came off that way. “I'm sorry”, Chae said weakly, “However, after he came to me with your notes I got a glimpse of your side of the story and, somewhat open to listen to the whole thing. Today, after I see you laying down half dead on that abuser's floor I think I understand enough”

“He's not an abuser”, Chae immediately bites back, as those words left her mouth she immediately flinched and felt scared for going against your mom. “Kiddo, I've been in this line of work for the last 25 years already. I've seen your story play out a thousand times. I promised my son that I'll keep you safe, so I'm taking you away from that whether you like it or not”, That's illegal right? “But he's not, he was just having an episode. Sometimes he just lash out, he can't help it, that's just who he is”, Chae is way too far down in her own hell to realise the exit is right in front of her. “Really? You're blaming this on his mental state?” Your mom wasn't taking any of that, “He's bipolar okay? He can't help having drastic mood swings”, He was never diagnosed, Chae just read some online article and associated him with that disorder to rationalise his sociopathic behaviour. “Blaming that maniac’s behaviour on mental disorders is an insult to the people who actually have mental disorders. Kiddo, I don't think you understand how irredeemable he is. What he did to you today is unacceptable, and if you don't want to fight for your own sake then I'll fight for you by bringing him to court”

Panic starts to set in, Chaewon can't let her do that, “He's not like that, I promise, please just give him a chance”, Seeing how pathetic Chaewon is, your mom wonders how you can enable her behaviour for so long. “Let’s have this talk in the morning. It's late and I need to get some rest. Go get some sleep, I'll be back here tomorrow morning. If I didn't see you here tomorrow morning I'm coming back to your apartment with a warrant for your boyfriend”, It's not your mom's first rodeo, she knows girls like Chae would care about her boyfriend’s feelings over her own well being. “Okay then, I'll see you tomorrow ma'am”, Not even a thank you, so rude.

Fuck why did things got so complicated now. You were always so caring but this is too much pup. Your mom is gonna be the end of me. Fuck how do I convince her to drop this, I can't let her make babe mad. I need to convince her.

How would Chaewon convince her? Well, with a stupid idea, “Are you being serious right now? You want me to talk with your boyfriend?” Downright idiotic honestly. “Please, it's just one talk. You'll see that he's not as bad as you think he is”, Your mom is absolutely flabbergasted with this request, this little girl actually wanted her to have a nice and civil discussion with an abuser? “I don't think you understand, assault and battery isn't just a civil case. The law enforcement such as myself have the right to pursue this case, you know that right?” This also means if she talks to Chaewon's boyfriend and he loses his composure your mom can use his incriminating words against him. 

“Trust me just this once okay? Please?” No way in hell your mom is gonna trust Chaewon, she sees Chae as an even more clueless person than you. She wants to say pathetic but she's not heartless enough to consider her own son pathetic. “I’ll drive you back to your place, I'll ask him about what transpired yesterday and that will be it. That's all the chances he's getting”, Although honestly she does see this as an opportunity to gather more evidence. “What? I need to tell him about this first”, Chae didn't have her phone, he broke it yesterday so she can't contact him, “Tchhh, so you can warn him? No, I'll give him this one chance so I can see him being unfiltered. So get your ass up because we're leaving now”, Despair, that's what Chae feels right now. 

Your mom led her to the receptionist where she signed the paper for discharge. Since you were working there she used her family member card so that Chaewon's hospital bills would be reduced to zero, and that's a good price. Throughout the ride Char can't stop herself from biting her nails, her legs are all jittery and her heartbeat is beating irregularly, she's scared out of her mind. Once they arrived back at her place she was so nervous your mom had to wake her up from her thoughts. “Ahhhhh, oh sorry, you scare me”, Chae tries to calm her breathing down while your mom is staring at her, then the latter gets out of her car prompting Chae to follow her.

Chaewon knocked on the door, after all your mom didn't exactly search around to pick up her personal things such as wallets or keys. “You do know I broke the door yesterday right? The locks haven't been fixed”, Chae blushed hearing this and just opened her door, going inside she called up for her boyfriend but there was no response. “He must be out”, There was some relief in her voice, hopefully your mom would just leave the place so she can brief her boyfriend about what's gonna happen. “That's unfortunate then-”, However Chaewon's dreams were short lived as the older woman's words were interrupted by some ruffling sounds from the bedroom followed by some footsteps. 

“Who the fuck are you?” Really? That's the first thing your mom said in her mind. She's completely baffled that Chaewon would ruin her own life for someone like that. No body shaming of course, the guy was good looking, but he looks like the most generic fuckboy ever imaginable. “I'm here to talk to you, I am Officer Hwang, last night I find…….”, She trailed off letting silence fills the room. The reason for that is because a girl walks out of the bedroom he just came out from. Seeing how minimal their clothing is, it's quite easy to grasp what they were doing. “Who is this?” Chaewon's fear and anxiety is replaced with unbridled rage as if he just crosses the line. “None of your business, and why the fuck did you bring a cop here huh? Hwang? Is it that retard’s mom?” He's so eloquent, no wonder Chaewon fell for him.

“Lady her your clothes and get out”, The random girls immediately sprint back to the bedroom, “Who the fuck is she?” Chaewon screamed at her boyfriend. “Fuck you, who is this? You brought a cop here? Are you insane?” Seeing him refuse to answer, Chaewon raises her hand and slaps him. It is unprofessional to laugh at someone who's getting ‘assaulted’ but your mom can't help but crack open a smile. “Are you crazy, bitch?” The slap has taken him off guard, never in his life did he think that Chaewon would have the balls to do something like that. The random girl came out of the bedroom wearing her pants with some of her underwear being stuffed into her bag. “You were cheating on me?” Chaewon roared, she looked at the random girl and was ready to pounce on her but thankfully your mom swooped in and pulled the girl outside.

“Move, I need to talk to that bitch”, Chaewon tried to push your mom away but the latter hold firm, “I think you should deal with this one first”, She pointed at her boyfriend. “Shit fucker, look at me”, He roughly pull Chaewon's hand making her body ragdoll to the ground. “You think you're hot shit because you have a cop here?” This guy has issues, “You were fucking some random girl? AFTER YOU SNAPPED BECAUSE YOU THINK I WAS CHEATING ON YOU?” Huh, maybe Chaewon's final line is just cheating. It's impressive that he never crosses that line for the last few years. Seeing how Chaewon wasn't being a scaredy cat like usual hurts his pride, so he raises his hand to hurt her in return. 

“You should stop that”, Your badass mom just grab his hand before he can slap Chae, “You fucking disgusting pig, HOW DARE YOU CHEATED ON ME”, But she didn't stop Chaewon from slapping him. “You fucking whores”, His pride really can't take this anymore and he took one of the empty bottle on the table. “I warned you”, With a bored tone your mom pulled out her taser gun and just shot fade him. Immediately he fell to the ground, the bottle thankfully didn't break and cut his skin, despite how much your mom wanted that to happen. “You asshole”, Chaewon walks to him and just kicks him in the ribs, “Alright don't do that, you're gonna get in trouble”, But her words don't reach her like usual. Chaewon tried to kick him again prompting your mom to just drag her out of the house.

“Let me go, I need to kill that bastard”, She was taken off guard seeing how Chaewon just flipped a switch out of nowhere, “Well it's better than before I guess”, She muttered before pushing Chae to her car. “Stay here for a second, I need to clean this mess”, Well at least her menacing glare is enough to stop Chae from struggling. “Here, go busy yourself while I call up the medic”, She shoved a little gift box you prepared for Chae to her lap. Chaewon immediately recognised your writing and opened it, inside is a note and she immediately read it.

Hey Chae, I was writing this note because I feel like that's just gonna be our thing from now. Let me start by saying, it hurts. Reading your notes was painful and really fuck me up. However, I do understand where you're coming from. I can't force you to like me, although I really want to, I realise it's just not possible. I guess we were both an idiot, so caught up in our feelings that we ended up hurting ourselves. I just want to say, I don't hate you, I understand where you're coming from, I really do. I hope one day when I come back home we get to sit down together and talk about this further. I hope once I get back we can have a civil and mature conversation about our friendship and other things.

However, for that to happen, I need you to still be around when I come home. Yes I helped you throughout these years because I loved you. But it would be wrong if I say that was the only reason why I helped you. I was scared for you, this relationship you had with your boyfriend isn't healthy Chae. When we first met you were this badass girl who never backed down from anything. Now you're just this vulnerable girl who is being dragged through hell because you can't let go of your feelings. You know I'm right, all your friends have given up on you already because they can't bear to watch you destroy yourself. You say something about setting me up with Kazuha yet the last time you talked to her was already 2 years ago. Chae, I'm scared, I'm really scared with the idea that you won't be alive by the time I come home. I wrote this note because I want you to let him go.

No, I wasn't saying this because I feel jealous of him, I'm saying this because I care about you. I'm on this “journey” in hope that I can let go of my feelings, in hope to “break my chains” as you put it. Now I'm asking you to break yours as well. I know you're tired of hearing these words but you're sacrificing so much just by staying with that guy. I might sound biassed, but you can get any guy in the world and you're choosing the worst option. I never thought I'd say this, but it's also hurting my pride knowing you prefer staying with an abuser rather than, me. Fuck that sounds so bad, but if you were dating some rich handsome guys I'll have my heartbreak way earlier than this and probably move on. Chaewon, you're a beautiful, talented and strong girl, you can do better than him. It hurts seeing your mental toughness that I always envied are being used just so you can tolerate him. Please, now that I'm gone I can't keep you safe any longer. For the love of god please let him go Chae. I don't want to come back home seeing you six feet underground.

I might just be beating a dead horse but I hope you can see where I'm coming from. In this box there's my apartment keys. I already pay rent for the next 4 months so you can stay there if you need to. And finally, there's a hospital card here, you can use it in Serenity and get treatment free of charge. I hope you'll never need to use it, but I also hope for a lot of impossible things. Anyway I've been rambling for too long, I hope mom didn't go too hard on you. Stay safe Chae, stay alive. I hope we can meet again once I'm back home. I'll miss you.

It took her almost 30 minutes rereading that note you left her. It all boils down to, “Chaewon your boyfriend is trash, leave him already. Here take my keys”, But she keeps rereading them hoping there's more. She needs more, she needs you to write something, anything that could comfort her. “Fuck pup, why can't I just listen to you”, But alas there's none, after all you never expect this messages to actually change her mind. It technically didn't, her boyfriend's act of crossing her line did but this note is the nail in the coffin. A certain word rings in her mind, “If only he can be more like you”, So fucking cliché, yet sometimes clichés came from real life things.

Why the fuck did I say that? You're so fucking stupid sometimes Chae. Why ask for someone to be like him when he's already available. God what have I done.

No point of crying over spilled milk, but that doesn't stop her from ruining your notes with her tears. Is this your thing now? Sending notes and soaking them with tears. “He’s not a problem anymore, just in case you're wondering”, Chaewon jumped back at her seat when she saw your mom had rejoined her back in the car. “Right”, Chae wiped her tears and put the notes back in the box, “You want to go somewhere or do you want to go back to your house?” Chae glanced back to her house. It was inherited to her after her parent's death a few years ago, it was around the time she started dating that pig. Those beautiful childhood memories, all tainted by his presence. 

“No, can you take me back to your son's apartment?” It's not that your mom wants to snoop around, but she's just curious and has checked the gift before she hands it to Chaewon. “Got it”, Your mom thinks it would be a good idea for Chae to stay away from her house for now, 4 months is a pretty long time to cool down. However Chaewon had different plans, “I'll wait for you to come back pup. I can fix this, I can fix us. I'll wait for you to come back, then we can start over”, Her barely audible whispers float off to the wind. A promise for a better future, no matter what it takes.

.

.

.

“Babe you need to stop dozing off”, You were woken up from your daydream with a gentle touch to your shoulder. “Right, I just feel weird. I can't believe a year passed already”, Yeah, it felt like a year just passed in an instant. “Come on, don't tell me you're thinking about staying here?” Minju wrapped her arm around you, “Of course not, I'm just a little sad that I'll have to go already”, Minju smiled and gave you a kiss. “There, I don't want my little puppy to be sad anymore”, She said teasing you, “Don't call me that, please never call me that in front of other people again”, It's bad enough that she calls you that in front of her coworkers, if she pull that name in front of your friends, or even your mom, you'll die out of embarrassment.

“Heheheheh, I won't promise anything. Now come on I need your big muscular arm to help me out the bags on the truck”, Living with no reception has bore you a lot, which is why you start working out alongside the soldiers that keeps the area secure. So needless to say, you've grown into a Chad, after loading the luggage you sat down with the rest of Minju’s coworkers. “So, what are we eating once we get home?”, Jaehyun, one of Minju's coworkers, asked the group. “I want some junk food, like 10 big macs covered with cheese dips type of junk food”, “No way in hell, we're eating something fresh, I want sushi”, “I don't care what we're eating but we need alcohol. Like a lot of them”, You've been pulled to be part of their friend group, although most of the time you and Minju would just fool around somewhere else. “Let's vote then, what does everyone want?” Voting with friends is such a bad idea, “I'm down for anything”, “Yeah me too, I don't mind”, “I don't really crave anything so I'll just follow what everyone wants”, In the end Minju just pull you to the passenger truck and sit with you at the back while her friends are busy discussing.

“So, we're going to meet your mom once we land?” It's hard to communicate with the people back home, you can only send her a letter every few weeks or so. Well except last week when you were given a satellite phone to arrange yours . “Well she did say she's gonna pick me up, so maybe we can have dinner with her after”, You haven't really told your mom about Minju so you're kinda nervous, “I don't think I'm down for thay babe. It's a 10 hour flight and I would rather go home and have a good long bath. Maybe we can have dinner tomorrow night”, Thankfully she rejected the dinner. “Guess you're right, I'm sure mom also wants to ask me about what I did for the last year”, It would be awkward to tell your mom that you actually got shot here. “Yeah, don't die okay baby”

“I told you you're gonna get shot”, You're like an inch away from getting shot by her out of frustration. “But mommmm, it was just an accident, some stray bullet from the soldier's training”, They even send you money for the inconvenience, or to shut you up. “Haaaaaa, I'm really this close to losing it. You didn't think about telling me in one of those letter you send me?” This is certainly a welcoming party, “ I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you worry”, She sighed and just shook her head. “Mom, where's Luna?” You tried to change the topic, “With Chaewon, that fat fuck want to stay at your apartment over here”, You raised your eyebrow in confusion, “Chae still living at my place?” 

Your mom does send you some update about her in the first few months, most of it just saying how Chae is getting better and has been reconnecting with her friends. “You should go there and talk to her”, Right, the long awaited reunion is due, “I should, tomorrow we're having dinner with Minju so I guess I could come over now”, Time zone difference fuck you up because you left around sunset and arrive back at your home around 8 AM, which isn't fun. “I can drop you off at your place if you get ready right now”, As you took a shower you can't help but feel nervous. For the last year you didn't really try to reach out to Chae and your mom didn't say anything if Chae tried to reach out to you. Going back to the living room you immediately noticed how tight your outfits has become. “That usually happens when you build up muscle darling. You should go and get some new clothes”, You remember Minju said she is a shopaholic so you made a plan to do a shopping run later with Chae. Just as a friendly reunion right? Right?

“Congratulations on your promotion by the way mom”, You pull out a gift for her, “Ohhh? What's this? The bullet that they took out of your body?” Damn that would actually be a pretty good gift for her. “Uhhh no, it's just a knife one of the refugees gave me”, Without hesitation she ripped open the box and pulled out a pristine military knife. “Ohhhh, good job darling, I'll put this on my desk”, She smiles happily before strapping the knife into her waist. “Now come on, I'm gonna be late”

You stand in front of your door, feeling anxious and nervous. If any of your neighbours see this they're probably gonna be weirded out since you’re just standing there for 5 minutes. Suddenly the front door clicked open and you saw Chaewon. She was going out and she bumped into you, “Sorr-.......” The two of you just stare at each other silently. The first thing you noticed is how healthy she looks, her cheeks are no longer hollow, her skin isn't sagging, she looks better. “Hey Ch-” Chae jumped to hug you before you finished your sentence, “It's you, you're home”, Even her strength is back, enough to suffocate you. “Chae, calm down for a second”, But she doesn't want to calm down, “You're back, you're really back, I miss you so much”, Chae hugged you even harder without any intentions of letting go.

“Chae let's not do this in the hallway”, She suddenly felt your arm wrapped around her body and picked her up with ease. It was at this moment that she noticed you don't feel so scrawny anymore. “You've grown”, She let go of the hug as you closed the door behind you, her eyes travelling all over your body. “Yeah well, I got a lot of free time there”, Your cheeks turn red as Chaewon shamelessly feels up your arms. “Meow”, Luna walked out of the bedroom and the moment she saw you she immediately ran to your leg. “Hey there Luna, did you miss me”, You picked her up and she immediately purred in your familiar embrace again.

“Well come here take a seat. Don't be a stranger in your own apartment”, Chae smiles and pulls you to sit down on the couch. Looking around you notices she has done a few furnishings, the place still looks familiar, yet there's some of her touch painting the whole apartment. “You like it? I don't want to change too much but I feel like your previous decorations were kinda bland”, Is her snarky remark making a return as well? “Well the place does look less grey”, Chaewon sits closer to you, “So, how was your trip? Come on tell me everything”, She leaned towards your arm and rested her head on your shoulder.

“It's a long story, weren't you just leaving to go somewhere?” Bering with Minju for a while you've grown immune to women's advances due to how flirty she was. “I was just about to get some breakfast. Have you eaten anything yet? We can order some food”, Chae notices your lack of embarrassment and it makes her, happy. “Well I ate some airplane food earlier, so I wouldn't mind going out for some actual good food”, Luna let out a growl as if she understands that you're leaving already. “Come on let's just eat here, I want to hear everything that happened to you”, Chae pinched your cheek as she leaned even closer to you. 

“Come on let's go out Chae, I also need some help. I actually gained some weight and my old clothes are getting too tight for me. Can you help me do some clothing runs?”, A date, Chae is ecstatic that you wanted to have a date with her the moment you return. “Yesssss, let's go then”, She stood up and pulled your hand, “Hahahaha, sorry Luna you're gonna have to wait for me again”, Luna let out a protest meow before jumping off your lap. “She's gonna be fine, let's go pup, it's shopping time”, Surely Chaewon won't take the whole day to help you get some new clothes.

“So you were actually shot? Like with a real bullet?” Chae is filled with concern hearing your story, “Yeah, it was just a ricochet so it's not that deep but it still hurts”, Don't cut off the fun part, tell her you cried like a baby as they tried to stop your bleeding. “That's terrible, I swear to god I'll kill that idiot who dares to shoot you”, It pisses her off, she could've lost you because some stupid drill. “It's fine, I was too close to the training yard anyway”, You can't help but smile seeing her angry face. It reminds you of the time when she used to get angry every time someone tried to pick on you. “Tchh, I'm only letting it go because you're safe and you got a cool scar from it”, Chaewon continued looking at your arm, rather, your bicep.

“Yeah, it does look cool”, You trailed off as you checked your messages that Minju had sent you. Chae furrowed her eyebrows seeing you've been busy chatting with someone on your phone throughout this breakfast. She wants to know who's making you smile and what those texts are, but she refrains for now. “Well I hope your feets are ready, we're giving you a makeover”, She'll ask you about those texts later, after all she has all the time in the world with you.

The shopping was hellish, Chaewon keeps pulling you to every clothing store there is and has you tried every single piece of clothing she can find. Then to top it off you had to bring all the luggage yourself. Well you don't have to, but you don't want to make her carry it so you just swallow the pain and move on. “Chae can we stop here? I think this is enough'', Chae does notice your suffering but she can't help herself to dress up her boyfriend. “Alright, let's put it back at our place, we can order some food for lunch”, Our place? You're gonna say something about that? “Our-”, Unfortunately your phone rings before you can ask it. 

“I need to answer this call first, can you order a cab for us?” Now, Chae is not exactly a nosy person, but she feels irritated with how much you were on your phone during this date. “Fine”, She doesn't want to make a scene so she'll just frown as she watches you walk a way to answer your call. “Hey babe , I was thinking that maybe we can grab some lunch? Or are you still dealing with jet lag?” Minju said, “I'm outside right now, having a reunion with Chaewon”, A little slither of guilt can be heard in your voice as you felt bad for refusing your girlfriend’s invitation. “Oh well, did everything go well?” She doesn't mind though, “Yeah, I think we're having a good day so far. I'm kinda happy seeing her revert to her old self. Although I think I would rather have her tone down her occasional jab. Physical jab, she's one of those people who like to playfully punch you and it hurts”, You hear Minju laughed out loud at your complaints. “Oh no, my poor baby can't take a woman's punch? Even with all those muscles?” PSA: Domestic violence is not a joke, please seek professional help if you or someone you know are dealing with one. 

“Hey listen she's not your average girl okay? She used to be the badass tomboy who beat up guys bigger than him. Besides you should see her biceps, they're huge”, Chaewon can't hear you but she is certainly not happy with the smiles that's forming on your face. “I would love to, is this an invitation for me to join your reunion?” Ahhhh shit, what did you just do? “Well”, You look back at Chae and are surprised seeing her hostile glare, “Maybe not today”, You're not sure why she's mad but you think it's best not to ask it for now. “Well, hopefully I can meet her soon. I'll see you tomorrow okay babe? Pick me up for the date please, you can buy some used car with the money they gave you for the bullet wounds”, You can't concentrate on what she's saying and hurriedly end the call before walking to Chaewon.

“The cab will be here soon”, Oh no, she's using her cold angry voice again, “O-okay”, The two of you awkwardly stand there waiting for the cab. Throughout the whole ride Chaewon was looking out the window trying to calm herself down. However the moment she hears you typing on your phone she immediately turns to you and lets out a vicious glare. Feeling your life might be in danger you put down your phone. Anxiousness starts to rise within you, it's not the first time you see her this mad but it's still terrifying.

What the fuck did I do now? Chae only got this mad when I did something stupid and hurt myself. Think Mark, think. Whatever it is, I should try to apologise once we get home.

The two of you silently walk back to your apartment, as soon as you walk in you hear Chaewon slam the door behind you. “Put it there”, She pointed at the floor, you obediently put down the groceries trying to find words to calm her down and inquire on what you did wrong. “Who was it?” Her voice, cold and piercing just like her eyes, “Who was what?” That's not an answer, so she walks towards you and pushes you to the wall. “Who were you talking to on the phone? The whole day you were busy talking with someone. Throughout our fucking date you were just chatting with someone else. Do you not respect me at all? Your girlfriend is in front of you yet you were busy with whoever it was in your phone”, Alright, what the fuck?

Let's break this down, first she doesn't like you talking to someone, which is understandable since it was pretty rude to be busy with your phone while you're hanging out with someone else. Then she says date, you didn't think it was a date, friendly date possibly but isn't that just a hangout? Lastly, girlfriend, this one actually takes you out of it. Hearing her referring to herself as your girlfriend is not something you ever thought you'll hear. This time, after a year of spiritual journey, you actually don't want to hear her say that.

“Chae?” Seeing that you're not answering she just digs her nails into your arm. “ANSWER ME. Who was it? And don't fucking lie to me”, Her voice echoes throughout the whole room, yet it feels so distant, as if this whole thing is just a dream to you. “That's…. I…. I was talking to my girlfriend”, Chae was about to scream back saying you weren't talking to her enough, then she realised you weren't referring to her. “Your. Girlfriend?” Her face contorted as she spat those words, “I guess I haven't mentioned her yet. Her name is-”, Your words are interrupted by her slap. 

"Girlfriend?" she spat, her voice laced with disbelief that morphed into a chilling possessiveness. "Don't lie to me, babe. You're mine. You've always been.”, Words are stuck on your throat, after years of following her shadow with the hope of getting a whiff of her warmth you managed to get it at the worst possible time. The name ‘babe’ rings like a distant lullaby, those words that you crave from her felt like venom to you now. “Chae when I was there I got close with Minju. We-”, Her hand flies quickly to grab your mouth, silencing your words that's about to break her delusion. “No, that's not right at all babe. I see now, you're confused and tired. Serving there must've been very tiring for you babe. You were just homesick and miss me, yeah let's get you some rest babe”

Chae leaned and kissed your cheek, yet her eyes are challenging you to refute her words. “No, Chae I have-”, The second slap was much more painful than the first one, because this time she put her back on it. “Baby I really think you're just tired, come on let's get you to your bed. You must've missed sleeping on your bed right? I'll accompany you, we can eat lunch later”, Chae grabbed both of your hands, tugging them for you to follow her to the bedroom. “No Chae, she's real. Minju is very lovely you'll like her”, This whole situation was so odd for you that you're also in denial of Chaewon's transformation. 

Chaewon's eyes narrow, trying to pierce through your skull to inspect your mind, then a humourless laugh escapes her mouth. “I see now, you had a rebound girl while you were away. I don't think I appreciate that babe, but for now let's get you to rest. I can punish you after you get some sleep”, The room was silent as if it was waiting in horror to see your next move. “No Chae……. I love her. I love Minju”, Your muscles stiffen, trying to brace for her next slap. Yet it never came, there was only silence.  “Love her?”

Alright, stop denying, you know what's happening right now. “Chae I-”,  You were once again interrupted by her, this time with her lips that aggressively crashed into yours and sealed it shut. This is it, the dream you've always wanted to achieve, a kiss from the girls that has held your heart for years now. Yet the kiss brought a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. On one hand, it ignited a dormant flame within you, a spark of the yearning you'd harboured for Chae for years. The warmth of her lips, the familiar scent of her hair, it all felt like a dream come true, a gift from god for all the good things you've done. On the other hand the sweetness was quickly tainted by the bitter reality. Your heart, now entwined with Minju's, ached with guilt and betrayal. This wasn't supposed to happen. Chae had friend-zoned you, leaving you to move on and build a new life. This sudden shift, this desperate claim of ownership, it sent your mind reeling. 

Is this the Chae you know? The one who has explicitly told you that the two of you can never work? Or was that Chae a fake one? You've never heard those words outside the notes she left you. Perhaps those notes are just her denial of the feelings she actually had for you. Denial that was hidden by the guilt she had for using you all this time? Is this confusion you're having is just a pathetic rationalisation for your own feelings for her? Was Minju truly just a rebound girl? Did you leave your heart here with Chae this whole time and only notice it now that you're back with her?

So many questions yet no answer. You didn't try to think of an answer, after all there's a fight going on within you right now. Your body has been yearning for these moments and responded instinctively. Your heart screaming with protest as it was being torn apart by the guilt you harbour for Minju. Each agonising second felt like an eternity. You wanted to pull away, to break free from this confusing entanglement. Yet with each second passing Chae's grip tightened, her kiss becoming desperate, almost pleading. It was like witnessing a damsel in distress, someone drowning in a sea of their own obsession, and a part of you, the part that once loved her fiercely, wanted to save her.

“Haaaaa”, Finally she broke the kiss, her head pressing against yours, her hand still tightly gripping on to your collar. Her eyes are filled with ecstasy, she's in a trance, for a moment you wonder if this is what you would look like if she kissed you before you left. “You're mine babe, you're mine and mine alone”, A hushed whisper can be heard flowing out of her mouth. The kiss, it was a culmination of all the obsession and longing she has for the last year. Your absence in her life was a hellfire for her loneliness, forging her into this, thing. Day by day her longing got more and more intense until it slowly turned into a need. Now that you're here those feelings only become more intense, like a sword that has finished sharpening and ready to be used.

While she was lost in the vortex of her own emotions you finally connected the dots. Despite her rejection she has explicitly said that she has special feelings for you. A love that was strong in every way but romantically. However it would change once she finally broke free of her chain, of the collar her boyfriend has put on her. Lost, confused, exiled, her only source of hope was you. After all her friend left her the only person she can rely on was you. Yet you were already gone, left to find your own love. Of course, that's why she is still here, living in your apartment with the thought that you two can reconcile after you return. Funny how life works, Chaewon finally has the same feeling you've been ‘hiding’ from her for years just right after you lost those feelings. 

“You know you love me babe. Whoever that Minju girl is, she's irrelevant. We belong together, and I'm so sorry that I hurt you for so long. I promise I'll make it up to you. Just be patient okay babe, after all we have our whole life to be together. Nothing can separate us anymore, I love you”

“I-”, NO! 

Your mind managed to take control of your body before you answered her. “I...” Chaewon smiles thinking you were just too shy to say it back. “Chae, it's too late”, Desperately you tried to bury back those feelings, you can't hurt Minju, and for some reason there's this voice warning you that whatever Chae is feeling right now, it's dangerous. “Baby, you know how much you hurt me by saying that”, Her face formed a disappointed frown as her tone turned sour, her eyes turned glassy as if she was about to burst into tears. “I can't Chae, I'm sorry”, It hurts seeing her like this as well, you never thought you'd make her cry by rejecting her. 

“You don't mean that pup, I can see it in your eyes. You didn't move on and I know it. You have loved me for years already, how can you just let go of all those feelings in just one year”, Her vulnerable tone and pained expression was nothing but a calculated move. Loyalty and charity, those are your two strong suits, and she knows acting hurt and vulnerable would be an easy way to change your mind. “I….. I can't Chae”, She also knows, despite your physical growth, mentally you wouldn't even hurt a fly.

“Why are you lying to me pup? I can feel your body is calling for me”, Her hand slips inside your sweater. As her cold and slender fingers feel up your abs you can't help but feel like the inside of your stomach is twisting. This is all you ever wanted yet it terrifies you. “You've grown pup, I like it”, With inhuman strength she just ripped apart your flimsy sweater. “Chaewon no”, You try to stop her, your mind does,  but your body is much more honest. “Did she do this to you?” Chae pressed her finger towards the hickey you had on your collarbone, “Chae stop this”, You pleaded again, but your words aren't coming through to her. “I'll hide it babe, I'll hide it with my make so you'll forget that whore”, Chae leaned in and bite on your collarbone.

The pain, you're not even sure if it was physical or emotional. Out of all the way that you could have her you never expected that it would be done through, rape. Is this rape? Do you truly hate this? “Who was that?” Your phone buzzed making Chaewon stop her marking session. “I-”, She didn't bother waiting for your answer before rushing through your pocket and finding your phone. The name Minju was written on the screen showing she just texted you something. “Forget about her”, Chae throws away your phone before diving back to your shoulder. 

I don't want this. I don't want this at all.

You pushed her away but it was so weak she barely moved. “Stop doing that”, She mumbles as she continues biting you. “Chae stop this please”, You push her again but this time you managed to put some power into it. She doesn't budge, her teeth still hooked into your flesh refusing to let you go. “Chaewon stop”, Finally raise your voice, she stops biting you yet her body is still pressing you to the wall. “Baby, I need you to stop playing so hard to get okay? I know you want this”, Come on tell her no, tell her she's wrong. “See, you need to stop lying to me”, Her hand caressed your bulge, “I know you more than you know yourself”, She whispered in your ear.

Do I actually want this? Was I overreacting when I call this rape? Chaewon would never do that. She's a kind and loving person. She would never do anything to hurt me. Right?

She fucking gaslight you so easily? “My god, you're so big baby”, You glanced down and realised Chaewon was already kneeling in front of you, your pants already pulled down exposing your cock. “Chae”, She smiles, your tone is much more meek now, she knows she got you by the, well, balls. “It's okay babe, I'll be gentle”, Her slender fingers gently wrapped around your cock as her lips kissed your tip. Your body shivers with the sensation, her gentle touch was enough to make you leak some precum. Chaewon smiles proudly, “I'm flattered babe, you've been missing me too right?” Her tongue sticks out and licks your tip. 

The more she licks the more you leak out. Her hand starts stroking you as she licks your cock like a lollipop, savouring the taste of your precum. Not long after that she kissed your tip again before pushing it into her mouth. “Ohhh fuck”, You moan, her mouth was too small for it and despite her best effort she can only go halfway. Feeling defeated she pulls away before spitting onto your shaft, her hand continues stroking and coats your cock with her saliva. If she can't take all of your length she will be creative. So as her head bobs up and down her hand jerks you off with the lubricant she just applied. Wet sloppy noise echoes throughout the room, accompanied by the sounds of your grunt and moans. 

“Chae, fuck”, Feeling your cock starts to throb she got even more intense. Her hand and head go in sync as she tries to milk you. “Chae, I'm cumming”, Your hips buckled forward forcing Chae to choke on your cock as you unload down her throat. The sensation of your thick and warm cum travelling down her throat gives Chae a sense of victory. Her eyes never leave yours for a second and she watches every single emotion you went through this whole time. She knows, you can't run from her.

“You taste so good babe”, She moaned once she pulled out your cock. Then she just let it rest on top of her small and pale white face, a view so arousing yo8r body starts screaming for round two. “Chae, I-”, It only took five seconds and your guilt already came back, this displeases her. “Come here baby, let's continue this in our bed”, She stood up and grabbed your hand. Now that your mind is clear, the post nut clarity should help you make your decision. Should you run now? Or should you just let yourself fall deeper into this, abyss.

“Come on babe”, Realising you're second guessing yourself, Chaewon grabbed your hand using both of her own while using her cute and innocent face. She hates to do this, she really does, because right now she's using a strategy that her ex used on her. “I……” Yet seeing you falter made her happy, there's always a silver lining in everything. Right now, she won't mind personifying her ex’s attitude if it means she gets to make you stay with her. “Hehehehehe, come on let's do a quick one babe, we can have lunch after this”, With one pull she managed to crumble down your common sense.  So you follow her, right into the dragon's nest. Inside your room you can see it's pretty much the same. The only difference was her makeup and dirty clothes that filled up the room. “I don't want to change too much, after all I want you to go back home to a familiar sight”, She smiles before pushing you to the bed. Chaewon takes off her skirt before jumping on to you. She pushes your erect cock into her stomach, “Look babe, you're gonna split me in half with this monster”

Seeing how quiet you are, Chae just takes off her top before leaning towards you. “Don't be shy babe, I know you've been dreaming for this moment for years now”, Her hand pulls yours into her breast, “Feel it babe”, She whispered in your ear. Overtaken by lust, your hand gently squeezed her tits making her moan, “Yeah baby, just like that. Don't be shy anymore okay? I know you like this as much as I do”, Chae raises her waist and aligns your cock with her wet entrance. “I love you”, And with that she lowers her waist, struggling to take your cock. “Fuck”, You grunted feeling how tight she is, “It hurts so much babe”, She moaned before leaning into your neck. “You're really gonna split me apart”, Her breath has become shaky as she continues pushing more of you into her. 

“Chae”, You whispered, “Yeah baby? Do you like it?” She bites your ear, “Take it slow” Oh no. “Hehehehehe, I'm not fragile you know”, Hearing your submission gave her a new source of energy. Her lips crashed on to yours as both of her hands hugged your head, not letting you move. As she managed to take your full length she didn't bother to rest a little and start moving. “I'll get used to this babe, I promise. We're made for each other, you and I”, She moans while her lower body is screaming in agony, but she couldn't care less. Her mind was already overtaken by lust, all those sleepless nights from missing you has caused her to have so much pent up stress. “Fuck Chae, calm down for a second”, You moaned feeling how aggressive she has become.

“No baby, you have no idea how much I miss you”, Chae presses her head against yours, you can see her eyes are filled with nothing but madness. “Those sleepless nights, all those times I woke up in the middle of the night, dreaming that you'll be there with me on our bed. Now you're back baby, and I will show you, just how much I've been missing you, how much I needed you”, She rode you even faster, making you let out a moan. “Yeah, do you like it baby? Do you like my pussy”, Chae whispered in your ears, “Grab my ass baby, I know you've always liked them”, She said before she started kissing you again.

In for a penny, in for a pound. Your hand reached down to grab her ass cheek. The first thing you noticed was how soft and smooth her skin feels, and as you squeeze them you find yourself enjoying the firmness of it. “Do you like it baby?” Chaewon moaned, “I….. do”, Chae smiled hearing your words. “Well don't be shy, use me however you like babe”, Her words are way too potent for you, “Fuck, Chae I'm about to-” Feeling your cock throbbing inside her Chae closed your mouth with her hand. “No baby, you need to hold it in”, Your eyes give her a protesting glare as Chae continues riding you. “I know it's your first time, baby, but I need you to be strong”, She loves seeing your panicked face thinking that you are having a hard time holding it in, but then you open your mouth. “It's not my first time”, Her waist sits on you as she stops moving, her eyes clearly filled with hatred.

“My baby, my innocent baby boy was corrupted by that WHORE?” Chae wanted to scream at you, to slap you for allowing yourself to get used by some whore. “Haaaaa, that bitch, I won't let her get close to you ever again”, But then she continued moving again, “Chae?” You on the other hand are struggling to hold your ejaculation, god knows what she's gonna do if you fail to follow her commands. “I guess it would be selfish for me if I wanted you to stay virgin. But that's okay right babe? Even if it's not our first time, what matters is that from now on we will only do this with each other”, Chae finds her rhythm back, riding you aggressively. Slowly the feelings turns into torture for you, “Chae I really need to-, Fuck”, Everytime you begged her she would just bite your chest, “You can hold om just a little more right babe? I want to finish with you so wait for me a little more baby”, Chae gives you a cute pouting expression, completely contrasting how her lower body is riding you like an animal. 

“Fuck Chae, please?” You whined again, this time you lost control of your face making it contort into a pathetic pleading expression. “Haaaaa, you look so cute like that”, Of course this whole thing is about the power play with Chae. She loves seeing you struggle and suffer just so you can please her. “Chae please?” you whined, “Call me babe”, Chae feels her orgasm is building up as well. “Babe, let me cum please?” Oh yeah, she's awakening a new kink right now, “Tell me you love me”, She whispered in your ears. “I love you babe”, You can feel Chae start shaking, “Tell me you'll leave that whore for me”, Last change bucko, will your rational mind return? “I will leave her for you babe, I love you”, Guess not.

“Haaaaa, then cum baby, cum inside me. Fill me up with your love please”, Hearing your total submission sends her over the edge. As your cum starts to shoot inside her, Chae kisses you again, desperately biting onto your lips as she's also having her orgasm. Your mind went blank for a moment as it short-circuited. “Haaaaa, haaaaa, haaaaa, welcome back baby, I love you”, Chae kissed your cheeks as the two of you were catching your breath. “Can you, get off me Chae?” She shakes her head, “Call me babe okay? I'm your girlfriend now so I need you to call me your baby from now on”, On top of that she kinda likes having your dick inside her. “Baby, can you get off me?” But of course, being the perfect girlfriend she will do anything to please you.

You tried to stand up when she got off of you but her hand immediately grabbed onto yours. “Where are you going?” Her voice filled with annoyance and a tiny hint of threat. “I need to wash up”, Her smile came back as she stood up with you, “Then let's have a shower together, I'll clean you babe”, She wrapped her arm around yours and pulled you to the bathroom. Once the two of you finished the shower Chae pulled you back to the bathroom and cuddled up with you. Her head rests on top of your shoulder as her finger is drawing around on your chest.

Now, how do you deal with this situation? Would you pick her over Minju? Or would you come clean to Minju that you just cheated on her. Your mind wanders around to the countless times you spend the night with Minju. Her warmth, her smile, her….. love, do they feel the same as what Chaewon is doing to you? Those memories hit you like a truck, alongside it are the guilt that just tearing you apart. Looking down at Chae, you see her smile at you before moving on to caress your hair. It really does feel like a fever dream, having her like this with you. Maybe it was a sign, Chaewon is just a dream and Minju is the reality? 

Your conflicted expression doesn't escape Chae, she knows that you're having second thoughts again. It pisses her off, but she doesn't want to push you too much, after all her ex tends to use a much more delicate approach when she's being, defiant. “Baby, I feel so tired right now. You really did a number on me you know?” She wrapped her arm around you, caressing your cheek and pulling your head closer to hers so she can kiss the other one. It feels wrong, her touch, this all feels so, artificial. You stay quiet, trying to organise your mind. Chae sighed before she cuddled up closer to you, “Let's get some rest baby. You said you just got off the plane this morning right? Get some sleep baby, I'll order us food for later”, Her leg wrapped around your waist. You of course managed to read between the lines, “You are not leaving here”

“Meow”, Luna? Where did that little shit throughout all this? “Come here Luna”, Chae said, Luna jumps up onto your bed and comfortably snuggles into Chaewon's torso. Huh, that's weird, is this an omen? Chae looks at your bewildered face and starts letting Luna, “I told you I'll make her enjoy my cuddles” And I'll do the same to you, babe.

[kinkystims]

okay so the first and only time i've done impact play was this june at a private play party. i asked an acquaintance if they'd do a scene with me. they said yes. very experienced i felt like i was gonna be in very good hands.

at the party when i arrive, everyone's standing around in the room that also happens to have their spanking bench. top throws out the idea of doing an impact play demo and asks me if i'd be interested in being the bottom for it. i said yes. nervous as hell but yes. so i stripped in a room full of people and got on the spanking bench with just my panties on. tits out,, everything out.

it was really exhilarating even though no one was making a big deal out of it and the bench kinda put less focus on my tits and i was also facing a wall so like people were watching me but i couldn't see them. top starts going through how to do impact. it was really interesting getting a demo while also bottoming for the first time.

so first they say you have to warm me up. and they just start rubbing me down from back to thighs. it's so i get used to their touch and don't flinch away from it and so i get relaxed in the position. i had never considered getting warmed up!! then they used a flogger to just gently start hitting me like reallyyyy lightly.

and this whole time, they're narrating what they're doing to the audience which is kind of exciting in itself. i don't really consider myself an exhibitionist but i liked it in a way i didn't think i was going to.

they rotated through tools, intensities, methods, etc. it was really cool and really fun. and i didn't know that pain tolerance builds DURING a session. they kept warming me up with softer hits and then eventually i could take harder ones with the same tolerance or better. it was so cool feeling my body adapt to it.

they'd rub out the stings which was also nice as. i like being groped and rubbed on. AND they'd use their nails which was soooo tingly and ticklish due to the fact that my ass is unfortunately super fucking ticklish and i had to keep from squirming LOL.

it was such a nice feeling, all of it. i liked how i felt in my head, i liked how i felt in my body. i liked hearing people laugh when i flinched and i liked someone commenting on my ass getting darker. i liked how hard i got from it. i liked when they kinda hit my dick a little. i liked being surprised at the pain.

it's funny cuz honestly i don't think my tolerance is that high. they said i had really good body language cuz it's all about if i'm leaning towards the hit or away from it (ideally, you should always lean towards it). and they said i was really reactive and really easy to read. which made me feel really good hehe. i was quiet like i didn't make much sound but that also might've been cuz it was too public lol (i get shyyyy okay)

[toruro]

he gets me so high

kind of a follow up to this mingyu drabble but can be read as a stand alone

tags: smut (18+ / mdni), toxic relationships / friendships, pet names (pretty, baby), implied oral sex (m receiving)

w/c: 860+

a/n: no i CANNOT get enough of toxic bff mingyu. sue me ^^

your toxic best friend mingyu just wants you all to himself, is that so bad?

“hey gyu, remember that cool cafe i was talking about? i think i’m gonna go check it out with a friend tomorrow morning,” you tell him back while you're eating your favorite takeout at his place.

“who’re you goin’ with?” he asks casually. you don't notice the way mingyu has his eyes narrowed at you.

"seungcheol invited me, so—"

mingyu scoffs at you after you say that. asks you if you're serious, to which you respond confused with, “yeah, why?” you don't expect to be called a bad best friend. you don't expect to be told that he can't believe you'd done this to him. "i told you two days ago i wanted to check that place out with you, and you said that we'll do it together soon!"

you're a bit confused, because you don't remember that conversation happening, and mingyu is the one who tends to be forgetful, but then he looks at you with this big pout, buff arms crossed over his shoulders, and something in your heart just sinks. "sorry gyu," you tell him with a sigh of defeat.

and suddenly, there are tears in your eyes because the way mingyu had called you a "crappy best friend" reverberates in your skull. your throat clogs up with an ugly ball of hurt as you turn away, eyes stinging with unwanted tears. they're rolling down your cheeks—fat, dripping tears that stain your soft makeup—and you turn away because you just can't bear to have mingyu see you like this.

but then he's next to you, pulling away the hands that cover your face, and you wanna cry even harder when he cups your cheeks and looks down at you as you try and hold back your soft sniffles, whispering, "why're you cryin' baby? don't cry ..,, your face isn't meant for crying ..." so you cry harder because! what could mingyu possibly mean by that?!

and then he's pressing soft kissing into your cheek—his frame is so much larger than yours so when he holds you, it's almost as if he's boxing you in. boxing you in, to keep you in, to keep you safe, and then you realize that you feel so good in his arms—so warm, so loved, and then the tears keep coming because you're a crappy best friend, like mingyu said. you shouldn't deserve any of this!

but then mingyu is quick to cradle the back of your neck and tilt your head up so you can look at him, and he looks so pretty under the dim lighting ... looks so perfect.

mingyu tells you he didn't mean to make you cry. didn't mean to make you feel like shit ... he just wanted you to know how he felt! wanted you to know how much you mean to him!

so you nod along and agree ..,, you hug him close and tell him you're sorry for the nth time and then suddenly, his arms are around your waist and your hands slide under his shirt and then you're on his couch ...

"a-are you sure best friends are supposed to—oh, gyu—" you cut yourself off with your own, high pitched moan when his fingers brush over the sensitive nub of your clit. "—are you sure best friends do th-this?"

"'course pretty," mingyu says casually, rubbing lazy circles over your clit before sinking one finger into your tight hole without as much of a warning. your jaw slacks, breath hitching in your throat. "best friends make each other feel better ... right?"

"y-yeah," you stutter when he slips in a second, fat finger, curling them forward so they hit that one spot that mingyu knows has your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

"'m making you feel good, right baby?" mingyu asks you, using his thumb to rub against your clit as his fingers start to pick up their pace inside your hot cunt.

"re—really good 'gyu," you manage out between soft, breathy moans, before glancing over his body next to you and eyeing the large tent that rests between his legs. some kind of guilt overcomes you—mingyu's the best best friend you could've ever asked for ... so why is he doing all the work? "i—oh shit," you moan when his fingers jut just a bit deeper.

"like it?" he says over a breathy chuckle when you reach your hands over to try and palm him through his pants.

"yeah i—lemme suck you off," you tell him, circling one hand around his wrist to pull his fingers out of you, despite the way your pussy screams at you to be filled again. slowly, you slip off the couch and shift between mingyu's legs so that you're on your knees on the ground.

when you finally look mingyu in the eye, you wonder if it's the same person. he's got this bewildered look, glinting in his irises, and your cunt flutters in anticipation. quickly circling your palms over the cock through his pants, you smile slowly.

"lemme be the best best friend i can ... please 'gyu?"

[glorious-spoon]

hello!! happy tuesday!! requesting 💛 💗💜 for buddie :)

thank you!! 💛 - reunion kiss/relief

The Indiana Jones Thing [On AO3] 2.3K words | buddie | near death experience | first kiss

-

The horizon dips and sways in Buck's field of vision, salt stinging his eyes and lips. His whole world is shades of blue: the ocean around him and the cloudless sky overhead, the white sun beating down. His skin from the shoulders up feels hot and stiff with sunburn, but everything else is cold. Even in the middle of the day, the ocean is so fucking cold.

The Pacific Ocean is one of the warmest oceans in the world, second only to the Indian Ocean. He read that somewhere, but he can't remember where, or what got him on the topic in the first place. It might have been Chris, or it might have been one of his insomnia-induced late-night Wikipedia binges in those shaken weeks after the tsunami.

It doesn't feel warm. Not right now. His clothes cling damply to him—t-shirt, uniform pants, his boots long-since kicked off and lost to the depths. He doesn't know how long he's been out here, or how much daylight he has left. How much daylight they have left to search for him, if anyone is even looking.

They're looking for him. He believes that. He does.

It's just—he's been treading water for a long time.

Perspective is strange from the water. The waves move him, breaking against his face, blurring his vision, but all he can really see from this angle is the vast blue ceiling of the sky. Birds, sometimes, high and fast-moving. Contrails, even higher than that, sunlight glinting on metal, streaks of vapor spreading out behind. He has a crazy, futile urge to wave his arms and scream every time one passes overhead, like someone's going to spot him from a jet forty thousand feet in the air.

All he can do is keep swimming. The water slips around his arms as he moves, a steady repetitive motion that's as slow as he can make it without actually sinking. Frog kicking to conserve his energy. He's a strong swimmer, always has been. He can do this. They're out here looking for him—he knows it. That means it's his job to stay alive long enough for them to find him.

"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming," he mumbles, a cracked, rasping singsong, and the sound of his own voice startles him so badly that he loses the rhythm of his strokes for a moment and goes under. When he finally surfaces again, sputtering, there's a low, rising rumble, the waves around him getting choppier.

Tsunami, he thinks vaguely. But it wouldn't feel like this. Out on the open ocean, tsunamis are fast-moving but barely perceptible on the surface. It's only when they move into the shallow waters closer to shore that the devastation starts. Flooded streets. Toppled cars. A small, precious body clutched in Buck's arms, or falling away into the water with devastating finality.

The rumbling is getting closer. Buck spins clumsily and blinks for a few moments, wondering if it's just a mirage that's about to blur and vanish into the punishing brilliance of the sun on the water. But it stays, and it gets closer: the sleek white shape of a patrol boat cutting through the water toward him, U. S. COAST GUARD printed across his hull.

Buck starts laughing, ragged and breathless. Maybe he's crying, too, or maybe that's just the saltwater stinging his eyes. The sound of the engine vibrates in his chest, in his ears, as someone in a wetsuit drops into the water and starts swimming toward him with long, smooth strokes, RFD towing behind him. For a wild instant, Buck thinks it might be Eddie, but of course when the man gets close enough to make out any detail, he's a stranger. Older, weather-beaten face, no-nonsense expression.

"Alright, Firefighter Buckley," he says as soon as he's close enough, and it's the best thing, the best thing, Buck has heard in hours. "I'm gonna push this floatation device to you, and I want you to grab it and hold on. Got it? Can you do that for me?"

"Y-y-yeah." Buck's teeth are chattering now. He doesn't know if it's cold or adrenaline or both; a wave of weakness washes through him. "I kn-n-now the d-drill."

The RFD bobs through the water toward him. He grabs at it, clutching it to his chest with such force that he goes under again for a second.

God, it's a relief to let his legs go loose, to feel the buoy hold him up, to have his survival dependent on something else besides his own body and stubbornness.

The guardsman waits until his grip is secure to start towing him back toward the boat. After that, it's all a confused blur of harnesses and hands and the sudden chill of the air as his body leaves the water, sopping wet clothes clinging.

He nearly collapses when his feet hit the deck, the abused muscles in his legs cramping and twanging. His arms feel like two chunks of concrete dangling from his shoulders. Two guardsmen catch him before he can collapse—the man from the water, and a woman who's enough shorter that Buck has to tilt at an awkward angle to lean on her shoulder. Someone wraps a thermal blanket around his shoulders, and he's guided stumbling and clumsy to a padded bench. He blinks, squinting in the sunlight—it's past the arch of the sky, heading toward the western horizon now. It was early morning when the boat broke up and he went into the water.

"H-how l-l-long was I—was I out there?" he manages through chattering teeth.

"It's sixteen forty-five now," the woman says. "Took us a while to pinpoint your location. You're a strong swimmer, Firefighter Buckley. Good thing, too."

More than nine hours. Closer to ten. He's not sure it felt that long. Time sort of stopped having any real meaning out in the water, but he feels every minute of that time now. "Ju-just Buck. Is f-fine."

"Buck." She actually smiles. "Your team is going to be glad to hear that you're alright. Now I have a few questions, just to see how you're feeling. Are you up for that? Someone's getting some dry clothes for you right now."

He nods. His neck feels heavy, and his muscles are throbbing, and the shivering is worse now, even with the blanket. He stumbles through the assessment, and must reassure her that at the very least he's not about to drop dead on her watch, because after that he's released to change into a hoodie and a pair of sweatpants that are several inches too short for him but blissfully dry. After that, he huddles back into the thermal blanket and watches the horizon skid by as the boat makes a wide, looping turn. It looks different from this angle. Bigger. He can see more of the world from above the water than he could when he was trying not to drown, and there's a metaphor in that, maybe.

That's the last thought he remembers having before sleep catches him and drags him under.

-

He wakes to footsteps, the sound of voices. All of the sounds feel louder and closer now, and when he finally drags his eyes open, they're docking. It's nearly sunset, the waves reflecting shifting shades of red and gold. It's pretty, he thinks sleepily. Even if it did just try to kill him. Again.

Shouts. Footsteps on the deck. Then hands on his shoulders, gentle but firm, and Buck blinks up at Bobby.

"Hey, Cap," he mumbles.

"Hey, kid." Those might actually be tears in Bobby's eyes, but he's smiling all the same. "Glad to see you're alright."

"Glad those Navy SEAL tryouts actually paid off," says Chim from behind him, and he's beaming too, unabashedly teary-eyed. "You just saved me from having to make one of the worst phone calls of my life, my friend."

"They wouldn't make you notify Maddie," Buck mumbles. "Against regulation."

"Yeah, and I bet you can name the line and letter," Chim says, as Bobby sinks down and wraps an arm around Buck's shoulders, squeezing tight. Buck leans against him. His skin feels itchy and sore from dried salt and sunburn, but at least he's not shivering anymore. Bobby's here, and Chim. He squints past them, but no other familiar faces appear.

"Hen and Eddie are in the other boat," Bobby says, before he can even ask. "They should be here any minute."

"And you are about to be read the riot act, make no mistake about it."

"Wasn't on purpose."

"Yeah, I know." Chim reaches across Bobby to scruff Buck's salt-sticky hair. "Just the worst luck known to mankind. You've got to be down at least three of those nine lives at this point."

The guardsman who examined him reappears over Chim's shoulder as they bump to a halt next to the dock. "Just a few more minutes, gentlemen. We already called it in; the ambulance will meet us there."

"I'm fine," Buck says, more for form's sake than because he thinks it'll get him off the hook here. "Just tired."

Chim scoffs loudly, and Bobby says, "You're going to the hospital, don't fight me on it."

"Okay," Buck yawns.

He closes his eyes again, not quite sleeping so much as drifting, vaguely aware of the warmth and weight of Bobby's arm, the bustle around him. Then he's being coaxed to his feet, muscles screaming all the way. He tilts heavily into Bobby as Chim steadies him from the other side and they shuffle their way off the boat. Bobby delivers him into the hands of the paramedics, and Buck is sitting on the edge of the ambulance bay while his lungs and pulse are examined for a second time, when he hears a ragged voice shouting his name.

"Oh," Buck says, squinting in the dimming sunset. The lights are on around the dock, making it plenty bright enough for him to make out the tall, dark-haired figure sprinting across the lot toward them.

"Buck," Eddie shouts again, and then again, softer, as he stumbles to a halt in front of him. "Buck."

"Hey, Eddie," Buck mumbles. He blinks a couple of times, but his eyes are having some trouble focusing. Eddie's face blurs before him, then settles. Wind-burnt cheeks, wide, wet, beautiful eyes. Chest heaving like he's been sprinting a lot farther than across the parking lot. "Sorry."

Eddie swears under his breath and steps closer as the paramedic lifts her stethoscope away with a deep sigh.

"I'll give you two a moment," she says.

"I'm sorry," Buck says again, and Eddie says, "Fuck, Jesus Christ, don't be sorry," and heaves him into a hug. It's tight enough to be uncomfortable, as sore as he is, but Eddie is warm and breathing quick against his hair as his hands pat over Buck's back like he's checking for injuries and then just clutch at him, and Buck thinks he could probably happily stay here forever.

"I didn't mean to scare you," he mumbles.

A slightly crazed-sounding laugh escapes Eddie. His cheek scrapes against Buck's, warm, uncomfortably scratchy against his sunburn, and then he turns his head just enough to press his lips to Buck's cheekbone, bruising, barely even a kiss. It does something funny to Buck's insides all the same. "I thought you were dead."

"I'm okay."

"I thought you were dead." It's shaky this time. He's pretty sure Eddie is crying. He thinks he might be, too. Exhaustion and relief and the way Eddie is holding onto him like he can't stand to let go.

The kiss, too. That kiss, just now, that was barely a kiss.

"Eddie, hey." Clumsily, he reaches up. His shoulders ache, his arms feel like lead, but he manages to catch Eddie by the arms. "I'm okay."

Eddie nods against him. Then he kisses Buck's cheek again. This time it's softer, almost delicate; this time, it feels deliberate.

"Are we gonna do the Indiana Jones thing here?" Buck murmurs. "Because I'd be cool with that. For the record. If we are."

Eddie lets out a shaky laugh, which is what he was going for, and finally releases him. He keeps a hand on Buck's shoulder, thumb just brushing the side of his neck, the same way he's always held onto Buck. Over his shoulder, Buck can see Hen approaching, but she hangs back.

"Since when have you seen Indiana Jones?" he asks.

"Blame Chim."

"Okay."

"So," Buck stutters, and it's not the cold now, or exhaustion. This is just nerves. "So—so if you—do you want—?"

Eddie breathes out a quiet laugh. His thumb moves carefully against Buck's skin. And they're doing this, apparently, after everything: right here, on the tailgate of an ambulance with half of their family and a couple of mildly impatient first responders looking on. Buck will be embarrassed about that later, probably.

Right now, though, Eddie says, "Yeah, Buck, of course I do," in that fond quiet voice that Buck loves so much. Right now, Eddie leans down again to kiss Buck a third time, carefully, right on the lips.

It lingers sweetly for a moment. A few yards away, Chim wolf-whistles and Hen starts laughing, but Eddie doesn't pull back until Buck is light-headed and breathless and smiling like a dope.

Eddie looks pretty dopey himself: soft-eyed, a little stunned, even though he's the one who started this. Buck leans up for another kiss, and doesn't break it even when his shoulders and neck cramp into painful knots at the movement. He must make a noise, because Eddie pulls back a moment later. He doesn't go far, though. His hand is still warm on Buck's nape.

"Buck," he says.

"Yeah," Buck sighs, trying not to pout. "You're riding with me in the ambulance, though, right?"

"Obviously. And you're coming home with me after."

"Obviously," Buck repeats. He tilts his chin up for another kiss, even though it hurts, and Eddie lets him.

[enbyenvy666]

May I request an a/b/o hitoshi shinso x cismale reader? They're all aged up, and a hero Shinso meets civilian reader. Just some fluffy interactions of shinso courting the reader, with a fluffy'n'smut ending? Thank you for your time!

wow this took so long to write lol

honestly i just took this idea and ran with it so i hope the wait was worth it ! also i haven't written for Shinso before so hopefully he isn't too ooc

(also he doesn't have a cannon hero name so i tried to get around that by the reader giving him a nickname instead)

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

CONTENT WARNINGS - 18+ MDNI, a/b/o, alpha!Shinso, omega!reader, slight scent and breeding kink, knotting, mating press, reader is a paramedic, reader treats shinso's minor wounds, fluff n smut, no beta we die like men w/c - 3.7k

Red and blue flashing lights made Shinso’s head hurt, straining his already tired eyes. Police cars and ambulances surrounded him and his fellow heroes, showing up after a particularly rough takedown. He had a couple of scrapes and bruises, but the paramedics wouldn’t let him leave before they assessed him. The only problem was, that there were others with more severe injuries than his own so it was taking a while.

As he sat on the curb, fiddling with his capture weapon, two work boot-clad feet entered his view. His purple eyes trailed up their legs, noticing the deep green uniform they wore with the paramedic shield embroidered over their chest pocket which held a couple of pens.

“Alright Mr. Hero, it’s your turn,” you grinned down at him, waving him towards one of the empty ambulances. He stood with a groan, feeling one of the cuts on his arm burn and sting. You climbed into the back of the ambulance, guiding Shinso to sit on the stretcher. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from you as you fluffed around his, slipping a sphygmomanometer around his arm and a pulse oximeter on his finger.

“Any pain anywhere?” You asked, and if he wasn’t looking at your lips he wouldn’t have noticed.

“No,” he muttered, watching how you gently inspected the cut on his arm. Even through the latex of the sanitised gloves, he could feel the warmth of your fingertips. Just when the band around his upper arm felt like it couldn’t get any tighter, it slowly deflated. You looked at the reading and smiled.

“Blood pressure is good.” But when you read the result of the oximeter, you frowned a little. Shinso didn’t like seeing you frown, and he wanted to do anything to see you smile again.

“Pulse is a little high,” you mumbled. If it was possible, he would’ve slowed his pulse at that moment, just to make this stranger happy. Readjusting the device on his finger, you also squeezed his hand in yours absentmindedly as you typed in his results onto your little laptop.

“I’ll keep this on a little longer, but otherwise you’re in good shape! I’ll just clean up your wounds a little and you should be good to go.” Finally, that smile was back on your face, showing off your pretty teeth while you changed your gloves.

The alcohol used to disinfect his cuts and scrapes stung, every time he would wince you would softly apologise. One by one, you tended to his wounds and with each bandage he felt himself growing more and more infatuated. As you softly dabbed an alcohol-soaked cotton pad over the smell scrapes near his hairline, he spotted something shiny under your uniform collar.

It was a scent-coating collar, torn and ragged around the edges, clearly old and worn out, but as he inhaled, he could smell the faint scent of you.

“You’re an omega,” he mumbled. You chuckled nervously, movements stuttering for a moment before you leaned away from him.

“Oh, yeah, guess I need a new one huh?” You joked, referring to the band that circled your neck. With a bandage in hand, you leaned back over Shinso and softly pressed it over the scrape, smoothing the edges down with your fingers.

“I’m just gonna check your eyes for any signs of a concussion,” you explained as you pulled out a pen from your pocket, clicking the small button on the side of it. The end lit up, and you pointed it towards his eyes.

“You should be fine… just making sure because you did hit your… head.” You trailed off, too concentrated on the way his pupils contracted and expanded. The way you bit your lip made his heart flutter, and he almost got worried the oximeter would read too high again. But that would mean he would get to stay with you longer so maybe it wasn’t a bad thing.

“Just keep staring at my nose.” Gladly. The light flickering in and out of his vision irritated his eyes even more, so he was thankful when you pocketed the pen and smiled.

“Alright, you’re good to go!” He almost wished there was something wrong just so you would stay with him, but alas, he left the ambulance. All of the other ambulances and police cars were gone, leaving just you, him and your partner.

“Thank you,” he said softly.

“No problem, Mr. Hero,” you grinned back.

“It’s-“ The walkie on your belt started barking out codes and addresses, to which you grimaced. Must not be good.

“Shit, gotta go,” you muttered, quickly turning and rushing back into the passenger seat of the ambulance. Your partner got in the driver's seat, and just before they turned on the lights and sirens, you leaned out the window and shouted goodbye to Shinso. He couldn’t stop his lazy grin as he waved back at you, watching you zoom away, off to save someone’s life, he presumed.

He didn’t realise how much of an impact you made on him until he had another rough take down and you weren’t one of the paramedics that showed up. He felt disappointed, and the way the paramedics tended to his injuries wasn’t as gentle as you were. He wasn’t sure why, but he missed you.

It took some searching, but eventually, he found you at an ambulance station during one of your few breaks from being on the road helping patients. As you were taking stock of the inventory in your ambulance, Shinso’s messy indigo hair.

“Hi Mr.Hero,” you greeted happily, climbing down from the back of the ambulance, clipboard in hand.

“What can I do for you? If you’re looking for medical assistance I’m required to tell you to go to the hospital, I can take you there if you need?”

“No, I’m okay,” Shinso denied. While your eyes flashed with confusion, the same gentle yet gleeful smile stayed on your lips.

“I just wanted to thank you.”

“Oh! There’s no need, I’m just doing my job,” you dismissed with a wave of your hand. It looked soft, and he wanted to hold it, brush his thumb over your knuckles, or maybe his lips. To stop him from grabbing your hand and doing just that, he fiddled with his capture weapon, just like he was doing when he first laid eyes on you.

While he didn’t like you denying your hard work as ‘just part of the job’, he understood where you were coming from. He often has the same mentality when it comes to being a hero, and that makes him feel closer to you.

“I also wanted to,” he hesitated, feeling an unusual anxiety bubbling up into his throat. Why did this feel so difficult?

“Ask you to dinner.”

Your smile dropped, and so did Shinso’s stomach. Your cheeks grew warm as you looked away from the hero, covering your mouth with your hand to hide your giddy grin. If you had a tail, it would’ve been wagging at the speed of sound. Composing yourself, you looked back at Shinso, but nervously couldn’t meet his hooded eyes.

“I’d love to.”

The weight on his shoulders lifted, and he quietly sighed in relief with the faintest smile. But as soon as you started to organise when to go out, you both realised that your schedules didn’t align very well. Shinso kept on his stoic appearance even as he felt his hopes crumble. Was this really how it ended, before it even started, all because of conflicting schedules?

But finally, there was a night when you and him were free. It was a month away, but at least it was something. That date is what carried him through work. On tough days, he would remind himself of his dinner with you, counting down the days until it finally arrived.

He couldn’t believe how nervous he felt, but at least his stoic demeanour didn’t betray that fact. The flame of the candle on the table flickered and swayed, Shinso’s purple eyes watching its every move. Time felt like it was moving too slowly. What felt like ten minutes of watching the flame dance was truly only a minute, but every second of it made him more and more anxious.

The longer he waited, the more he fretted that you weren’t going to show up. Perhaps the month's wait had given you enough time to change your mind. Tugging on his sleeves and collar didn’t help to cool him down, but it was the only sign that he was upset. Just as he was about to get up and leave, the chair across from him was pulled back.

“I’m so sorry I’m late!” How could he be mad at you? Your skin glowed in the candlelight, your lips parted in an apologetic smile that showed your beautiful teeth (even with any imperfections). You sat down before holding up a single rose in your hand and handing it to him.

“As an apology.”

“I wasn’t sure what kind you liked,” you explained sheepishly, hands nervously fiddling in your lap under the table.

“Don’t worry, it’s perfect,” he smiled softly. Thankfully dinner continued without a hitch, except for when a fan wanted a picture with Shinso. He was annoyed until he caught you stifling a giggle across the table. He loved to see you laugh.

When dinner was over, he didn’t want to say goodbye, even as you stood outside the restaurant, a cab waiting, he didn’t want to let go of your hand. It just fit so well in his. As you turned to him, looking up into his tired eyes, you smiled.

“I had a really good time,” you admitted, squeezing his hand. Lifting up onto your toes, you pressed a kiss to his cheek. While it was only quick, to Shinso it felt like an eternity. Your soft lips on his skin, your scent clouding his senses, your palm on his chest to steady yourself. It took everything in him to not sweep you off your feet at that moment and claim you as his omega. But alas, you stepped away, with a final call for him to text you before you climbed into the taxi.

He was more infatuated than ever, finding more and more opportunities to visit you at the ambulance station. After learning your favourite snacks, he would drop them off for your lunch or dinner if you were working later. Sometimes he’d even leave flowers and on a Valentine’s Day when you were working, he left chocolates and a stuffed bear.

On nights when it was too late for a date but you were both free, you would talk on the phone for hours.

“And then she tried to hit me when I tried to check her blood pressure! I get that no one likes it, but come on! There’s no need to get violent,” you ranted.

“I know what you mean, I feel like old ladies just want to let their anger out at anyone who cares. One time I got a lady's purse back from a robber and she yelled at me for swinging her purse around too much,” Shinso replied with a soft chuckle. You bit your lip when you heard the sound. It was melodic.

“I mean, we’re just trying to help, aren’t we?” You agreed, rolling onto your stomach, legs idly swinging behind you.

“How did you go after the handoff today?” Shinso asked, running his fingers through his soft hair as he also lounged on his bed. Earlier that day, he caught a man in a hit-and-run who didn’t quite like being held accountable. He was claiming he had chest pains which meant an ambulance had to be called, and Shinso was super happy when he saw you climb out of the vehicle.

“He got worse once you and the cops were gone, the asshole even ripped off my collar,” you grumbled. Shinso felt possessiveness and anger at the thought of that guy putting his hands on you and harming you.

“You weren’t hurt, were you?” He asked.

“I’m fine, my partner managed to subdue him until we got him to the hospital.” It eased his worries to hear you were unharmed, but he was still worried about you.

“Are you doing anything tomorrow night?” He asked, chewing on the inside of his cheek. Your hum through the speaker sounded like a soothing drone, he could use it as white noise if he wanted to.

“Don’t think so, why?”

“Do you want to come over? Dinner and a movie at my place?” Your legs kicked behind you like an excited teen, butterflies swarming your stomach.

“I’d love to.”

Both you and Shinso slept with grins, excited for the next evening. Work felt like a breeze, nothing could get you down when you knew you would be seeing Shinso when your shift ended. He felt the same, if not more excited and anxious.

Before you knew it, you were standing on his doorstep, fist raised shakily to knock on the door. As soon as your knuckles hit the wood, it swung open, revealing Shinso. He must’ve been waiting on the other side of the door.

He invited you in, to which you graciously accepted. You didn’t miss how he held one arm behind his back, but you were too distracted by looking around his home to say anything. It was cute, and you noticed the cat toys strewn about. Shinso cleared his throat, your attention now trained on him.

“I got something for you,” he mumbled, revealing the box he was keeping hidden. He seemed nervous, which made you feel anxious in return. With ginger touches, you took the box and opened it enough to peek inside. It was a collar, amethyst in colour with shining silver metal on the buckle. A definite upgrade from your last one.

“Shinso!” You gasped, picking it up from the box. The inside of it was soft so it wouldn’t irritate your skin, and you could smell that slightly chemical scent that would cover yours.

“It’s beautiful!”

“Do you like it?” He still asked, wanting to quell his anxiety.

“I love it,” you grinned, wrapping your arms around his waist, and pulling him into a tight hug. He quickly reciprocated, head tucked into your shoulder. Without the old collar, he could smell your scent entirely. It was sweet, intoxicating. You pulled away and turned your back to him while holding up the collar.

While he wished you didn’t have to cover your scent, he still complied, clipping on the collar, wanting to do anything to make you happy. Using your phone as a mirror, you admired how the piece looked around your neck, unable to hold in your excited squeal.

Pulling the hero in for another hug, you muttered repeated thank yous. He held you in his arms as you pulled back to look up at him. Shinso’s smile was soft, but it was enough to make you feel jittery. With your gaze locked on his, the world around you fell silent.

Slowly, he leaned down, lips meeting yours in a kiss so passionate it made your knees weak. But you weren’t worried, you knew he would catch you. His hands groped and tugged on your body, palms rough from years of hero work. Your hands found his hair, threading through the soft strands. Everything grew heated, clothes striped and initial date plans pushed to the side until you were finished.

The rest of the night felt feather light, and like there was a warm glow around Shinso, the edges of your vision tinted in rose. Dinner tasted like magic because he cooked it. And the movie was perfect because he picked it. Everything about him was amazing. You were on cloud nine, even as you went to bed alone in your home.

But that all changed by the next morning. Your body felt hot, coated in a sheen of sweat, and struggling to breathe. Stumbling out of bed and making your way to the bathroom, you could feel the slick between your thighs and realise how hard you were. Your reflection showed your sweat-dotted face and messy hair. Your cheeks didn’t cool even after you splashed cold water on your face, so all you could do was slink back into bed.

Your encounter with Shinso last night must’ve had more of an effect on you than you thought, leaving you in heat and needing more. Even as your hands shook, you managed to dial the man in question.

“Hello?” He spoke into the phone. His voice made you whimper, which he heard.

“‘toshi,” you whimpered.

“Is everything okay, baby?” He asked.

“Need you. So bad,” you panted, unable to resist the temptation of palming yourself through your underwear.

“What’s wrong?” The concerned tone in his voice was noticeable.

“In, ah, heat.” You swore you could hear him fumble the phone.

“I’ll be right there okay? Just hold on for me.” He hung up, much to your chagrin as you wanted to keep listening to his voice. It felt like an eternity before he finally showed up. You met him at the door, almost tackling him the second the door opened. He managed to get you back inside, even as you tried to climb him like a tree.

With your arms and legs wrapped around him, he carried you back inside, trying to ignore the way your scent made his body react. He felt himself growing hard, and a hot flush washed over his body. He wanted nothing more than to fuck you right then and there, but he needed to wait a little while longer, then he could have you. Carrying you to your bedroom was the easy part, but getting you to let go of him was another level of difficulty.

You ended up just dragging him onto the bed with you, desperately clawing at his back to keep him close, to drown in him. His hands shook, his grip on you wavering as he fought his urges. As much as he wanted to breed you, he wanted to make his omega as comfortable as possible. 

Finally unlatching you from his body, leaving you to whine and squirm on the bed. Hitoshi shrugged the duffle bag off his shoulder, one you hadn’t even noticed. Blanket after blanket, he pulled them from the bag and placed them around you on the bed, creating a nest for you. 

“I wanted to bring pillows but I didn’t have enough room-” your lips collided with his, arms pulling him close till your body was flush against his. 

“It’s perfect,” you whispered between kisses, slowly pulling him down to the bed. Desperately needing air, he parted from your kiss as your back hit the mattress. You looked like a god below him, the sweat dotting your skin made your body glow. Your hands cupped his face, warm palms on warmer cheeks. 

“Please Hitoshi, make me your omega, be my alpha.” All self-control left him when he heard those words fall from your sweet lips. Capturing your lips once more, his needy hands started pulling on your clothes, desperately wanting to feel your bare skin against his. He couldn’t get them off fast enough, almost resorting to tearing them off when your lips trailed down his neck. Your scent had flooded his senses, his vision clouded fuchsia and all he could think about was you, you, you. 

The moment your underwear was pushed down enough, your hand travelled down between your thighs, fingers collecting the slick around your hole before gently but eagerly pressing them inside. You couldn’t wait for Hitoshi to undress himself, and the sight of you preparing yourself for his cock was something he never wanted to forget. As soon as his clothes were off, his fingers prodded your entrance. Reluctantly you removed your fingers, but you were given little time to dwell before his thicker digits fingered you. 

You occupied your hand by jerking your cock, the wetness on your fingers helping your hand glided smoothly. There were practically hearts in Hitoshi’s eyes as he watched your face contort with pleasure, your eyebrows knitting together when he added a third finger to your wet hole. 

He couldn’t wait any longer, retracting his fingers and hooking your knees over his shoulders. Using your slick as lube on his cock, he pressed his tip to your tight ring of muscle, biting his lip to hold in a hiss of pleasure when he slowly thrusted himself inside you. You, however, moaned unabashedly as his cock carved itself inside you, making it fit perfectly like two puzzle pieces. 

Hitoshi was quick to start an even pace, pressing your knees to your shoulders so his cock could thrust even deeper inside you. You couldn’t grab him in this position as much as you wished you could, instead twisting his blankets in a white-knuckled grip. Your eyes rolled back, swearing he was rearranging your guts at that very moment. Hitoshi couldn’t stop his groans as he felt your walls cling to his cock, pulling him back in every time his hips pulled away. 

Precum dribbled from your tip, leaving glistening droplets on your stomach. The purple-haired man above you leaned down, pressing his forehead against yours to inhale your scent, angling his cock to hit your prostate in the process. Each thrust against the spot sent shockwave after shockwave of pleasure through your body, making your fingers and toes tingle. 

Groans turned to growls as Hitoshi felt his peak building, his knot beginning to swell. He rut could only rut himself inside you, letting go of your knees to wrap his arms around your arched back instead, bodies pressed together. Your ankles quickly locked behind his back, preventing him from pulling out, as if he even wanted to, nails leaving red marks across his shoulder blades. Hitoshi tucked his head between your neck and shoulder, teeth brushing against your skin, but not yet biting down. 

“Mine, mine, mine,” he growled over and over, his voice straining and growing in pitch until he reached his peak, ropes of cum coating your insides as his teeth finally sunk into flesh. The feeling of him filling you with his seed, his knot locking you together, and him officially making you his omega brought you to orgasm. Hitoshi’s hips finally stilled, panting against your neck as you both came down from your highs. Your fingers played with his soft hair, unable to stop a smile from gracing your lips. 

Hitoshi pressed a soft kiss to the bite mark on your shoulder before lifting his head. He smiled softly, threading his fingers with yours as he kissed you deeply. 

“My omega.”

-----

i hope you enjoyed :) also writing the next chapter of personal pornstar so stay tuned ;)

[ilyxxnsm]

True Love 01

| is true love supposed to hurt like this?

warning: domestic violence, toxicity. don't judge. smut. reader's body type briefly mentioned. reader's ethnicity's not mentioned, but she's light skinned to white. mental health mentioned (medication, depression, anxiety, ADHD, etc). implied self harm (skin pinching, nail biting, scratching, hair pulling). of course physical abuse (hair pulling, slapping, pinching, punching, he breaks bones be fr, hickeys and bite marks??). drug dealer yoongi. everything against reader. reader's 17, yoongi's 23. this is fucked up, like really fucked up.

| my life by your side was fucked, and now my soul is full of cysts, every time I see my dark circles, I curse the day you put it inside me...

You're laying naked on your bed, feeling the sting of the slaps on your cheek, the bruises his grip left on your body and the hickeys he gave to your neck, you feel happy, despite the pain, cause he's back. He's sitting on the edge of the bed, smoking a cigarette while he reads an article about his favorite rapper, he's not even looking at you.

"Yoongi..."

Reaching to hold his hand gently you call him, like you always do, in contrast with his his rough and possesive grip. You can feel his long, slender calloused fingers and you just want to feel them inside you, but you don't wanna sound greedy, cause you know that'll inflate his ego. But he can read you from head to toe, he knows what you want, how you want it and he's so proud of himself for having you like this, do submissive and ready for him.

"What is it, baby?" He murmurs, leaning closer to you. You can smell the strong scent of tobacco on his breath and feel the heat emanating from him. You're too shy to say it, but he feels in a nice mood today so he's not gonna make you beg. He presses the tip of his cigarette against your thigh, rubbing it until it stops burning and leaving a painful burn mark on you thigh. He lets out a chuckle as you flinch slightly from the burn on your thigh. There he could go, holding you, showing you he loves you, but he don't do nice shit. He told you, his version of loving you was making you his and "You good, baby?" It hurt like hell, but you can't complain cause that'll only feed his need of makin you suffer, so you swallow your sobs and bite your pouty lips, lips he loves to see tremble and bleed.

He watches as your pupils dilate with desire and pain, he knows you're trying to put on a brave face, but he don't care. He just wants to do whatever it takes to make you break down. His hands grips your thighs harder, leaving bruises behind. He takes another drag of his cigarette and puts it out on the ashtray before putting his hand on your cheek, tracing your smooth skin with his calloused thumb, just to raise his hand and land a hard slap across your face.

He sneers at the sound of your whimper, enjoying the sight of marks staining your face, the reddish mark blending with your pale skin making it a sight to behold. Your hands go to your reddening cheek as tears brimming your eyes. He doesn't care for the tears, they're just a bonus as he watch them fall down your face, staining your cheeks with wet mascara tracks, making you look so pretty and vulnerable, just how he loves it. He leans down, pressing his lips on yours, taking your breath away, tasting the salt from your tears and the sweetness of your lip balm. His hands move up to your wrists and he holds them above your head, immobilizing you as he deepens the kiss. You feel so utterly in love with him, like he could ask you to jump off the highest building and you would without a second thought. You love him so much, and nothing he does could ever change that.

He chuckles before biting your lower lip, tugging at it. His free hand wraps around your neck, squeezing tightly and making you gasp for air. It hurts, and you know it's gonna leave a big bruise on your throat, but you don't complain. He chuckles darkly at your muffled protest, feeling you squirm under him, the feeling makes him harder, and that ticks him off more, his arousal making him do stupid, stupid shit. He watches you, his dark eyes devouring you completely, the bruises around your neck, the purple marks he left on your thighs, your red cheeks, your swollen abused lips, your still sore pussy after such rough fucking, his work of art. You look like you've been through hell, and it honestly looks good on you. His grip tightens a little, but just enough to make you shut up without knocking you out.

He grins darkly as he watches you, his other hand now trailing down your chest, his middle finger tracing your bruised and bleeding pussy lips, he smirks before pushing it into you a little, just enough to remind you of the rough fucking you had earlier, as he watches the small mix of pain and delight on your reddened face, your eyes a bit unfocused as he chokes harder. He laughs darkly before slowly easing his finger in and out of your abused pussy, he can feel your body responding to him, your warm little pussy trying to grip onto his one and only finger. Your walls contract slightly around him, not sure if you are trying to fucking push him out or trap him in there. You let tiny choked whimpers, your body pressing against the mattress as your hands hold on to the bedsheets.

He grins before slowly adding two fingers, making you gasp loudly as he easily stretches you open with his thick and long fingers, your swollen pussy struggles to accommodate him, leaving a tiny trail of blood on his fingers, blood he drew a few hours later from fucking you raw without preparation. His grip on your neck is not as tight as before, since he's too focused on your pussy. It hurts, but since it's him, you don't complain and take it gratefully. He starts to slowly thrust his fingers in and out of your pussy, your tiny abused hole gushing pre-cum, such a sight to see. His fingers curl up, trying to scrape against that little button inside you and make you scream for him, yet again. He lets go of your throat, smirking as he watches you gasp for air, and now his whole attention goes to your sweet cunt, two fingers buried inside you and one rubbing your clit.

He watches with a little amazements as your belly starts to bulge, a sign of your womb contracting around his fingers, welcoming him and suck his fingers inside you, his breath hitches, while he feels himself hardening even more by the beautiful sight in front of him, you twitching and whimpering in a torturing pleasure. You sob in ecstacy, covering your mouth with your trembling fingers as you feel your orgasm building up.

He stops his torturous motions, and takes his hand out of you, his fingers glistening with your wetness, he brings it up to his face, smelling your scent deeply on his fingers before he licks them clean with pleasure, you taste so sweet, he could eat you out every day and never get tired. He watched you whimper in frustration after your interrupted orgasm, but he's going to give you something even better.

He lets a wicked smirk free, he slowly unbuttons his jeans and then take it down with his boxers, he has a hard now, his large cock intimidating as it throbs for you, flushed and ready. He chuckles again as he watches you keep yourself busy by rubbing yourself on his hardening bulge, he watches with pure lust in his eyes. He moves himself and laid on the bed, his hands beside his body as he smirks at you. "Go ahead, baby, ride me."

He felt the heat coming from your pussy as you sit on his thighs, slowly sliding down, feeling him stretching out your insides. His cock twitches inside you, he gritted his teeth in restraint as he watches you start moving up and down, holding in the painful whimpers threading to escape from the wide stretching. You always struggle to take him inside since he's like 10-11 inches, sometimes he's nice and let's you ride him to go to your own pace, sometimes he fucks you dry and raw, tearing your walls and not giving a fuck.

He let's you go on with your own pace, watching you fuck him and play yourself, he grabs your tits and twists your nipples, he sees the sweet pain in your eyes as you get ready to cum soon. A groan escapes his lips, he can feel himself about to cum inside you. He loves dominating you, fucking you so bad and making you cry, and that's exactly what he's gonna do when this first "vanilla" round is over.

He feels your pussy clenching his thick cock, squeezing him, he lets himself go as he thrusts his hips up and releases inside your tight pussy, groaning and feeling your tight walls milking him dry. Catching his breath, Yoongi slaps your cheek gently, pulling you to look at him. He smirks at the wet and hot look on your face as you cum on his cock, your juices flowing out of your pussy like a river as you sob in delight, so fucking cute.

He smirks, pulling out of you and watching your pussy gush, loving the sight of seeing you so fucked out on his bed. "Fucking little needy bitch." He uses his semi-limp dick to continue smearing his cum and juices around in and out of your needy pussy and rubbing it on your swollen clit. He grabs his boxers and stuffs them into your mouth in some kind of improvised gag before turning you around onto your stomach, pressing your head against the mattress with his hand.

He's not done with you, not by a long shot. The fact that you're such a easy and willing slut really turns him on, he doesn't even know why he broke up with you if he can have this every night. He's pretty sure he's never going to be able to be satisfied enough by just fucking you once and he wants to hear you scream, so he spits in your asshole, spreading it around with his fingers before aligning his cock with your tight hole.

He growls at the feeling, the tightness of your ass makes him choke up. He wants to fuck you so bad that he sees stars for a moment. "How does it fucking feel, huh? Pretty fucking good?" He doesn't even wait for an answer, he grabs onto your hair and pins your hands behind your back as he roughly fucks your ass, the wet slaps of his hips against you the only real noise in the room aside from your moans from his boxer-gag.

He's gone insane. He knows he's insane. But he cannot stop his actions, he wants to fuck you so hard that you forget your own name. He sees how your body reacts to him, the goosebumps on your skin, the painful muffled moans. The rougher he gets, the more you react, and it's absolutely maddening to him. He leans down and whispers harshly in your ear, "You like that, doll? You want me to fuck you harder? Hmm?" He coos, smacking your ass once but hard.

The sounds you make, the cute as fuck and god-damn sensual fucking moans that come from you even with the boxer-gag, it literally drives the man insane, wanting to fuck you in every way and every hole. He groans as he starts to thrust even faster, his pace relentless and unforgiving. He can feel the pressure building up in his balls, the tension that makes him almost dizzy. "Fuck..." He groans, it feels so fucking good.

He bites his lower lip as he feels himself getting closer to the edge. He wants to drag it out, make you cum over and over again before he allows himself that sweet release but it's so hard to hold back when he can feel just how much your body loves what he's doing to you. He hears your begging, he sees your trembling whole body almost pleading for that cum, that release. He sees the desperation on your drooling face, the flushed cheeks, the teary eyes.

Yoongi pulls back, his thrusts becoming even rougher as he smacks your ass again in that hard, very fucking satisfying motion which only a sadistic asshole like him would be able to pull off without a care in a world. He gives into it. Fuck. He can't hold back anymore and he doesn't want to. With one hard, deep thrust he pushes himself over the edge, grunting deeply as every muscle in his body clenches and tightens with each pulse of his cock inside your bowels. The feeling of his hot cum makes you come too, your ass clenching tightly around his cock. You choke out a few weak whimpers against the gag, tears streaming down your face as you cum so hard you almost faint.

He smirks, panting softly, looking down at the sight of his cum leaking out of your asshole and running down your thighs. He watches you with a dark possessive gleam in his eyes, his body still pressed up against yours. He knows he's hurt you, but it feels to good to stop, he likes to see you in pain, and he knows you like it too. He spreads your asscheeks, admiring your swollen red puckered hole gushing out his cum and your legs trembling like jelly.

He can see strands of cum running down your thighs and pussy lips and it's such a sight to see. He leans down to press a kiss against your tender asscheek, you smells like sex and baby powder, a dangerous combo, you always smell so good. He takes his boxers out for your mouth and you can finally breath correctly, saliva dripping out of your mouth as you take a few seconds to regain consciousness, you feel dazed, like this was a nightmare, a very good and exciting nightmare.

He gives you a cruel smile, enjoying seeing you that vulnerable, looking so fragile like a broken doll. He lays next to you and pulls you into his arms, his hands kneading your ass tightly as your body rests against his and your head against his chest, hearing his heart beat going steadier every minute. You love him so much, despite his rough sex, his aggressive manners, his cold demeanor and his unknown feelings for you, you feel the most pure innocent love for him, uninterested and puppy love.

He puts his hand in your hair, threading his fingers through your soft strands. He leans down to press a light kiss against your lips, so gentle and sweet that it sends shivers down your spine. He whispers in your ear. "Can't even make me cum right but I still fuck you because I want you to remember who you belong to" He whispers, he knows it's not true, he stopped cheating on you cause no girl could please him like you do, but he loves to say this type of stuff so you allow him to go further and further every time, eager to please him and be the best for him.

His arms wrap tighter around your waist, pulling you closer. He runs his thumb over your lips, forcing them to part before slipping it into your mouth, letting it slide against your tongue. "You're such a pretty doll," He whispers, pressing a single peck to your lips, making you whimper for more. He kisses your neck and nibbles on its delicate skin, working his way down, leaving a line of hickeys on your neck and chest for everyone to see.

He wants to fuck you again, he wants to fuck you so bad you scream and beg him to stop, so bad you bleed and pass out. But you're already so spent and tired, he's not a monster either, do he decides to stop, for tonight, at least. He ruffles your hair and presses a kiss against your temple. "Sleep" He says as he stands up to put his clothes back on, lighting a cigarette and standing near the window to smoke.

You wrap yourself in the bedsheets, feeling your body aching. Your cunt and ass are still sore, so you shift uncomfortably and press your thugs together trying to ease the pain, you can still feel his cum inside you, probably you'll be dripping it until tomorrow. But you feel happy, you feel loved, you feel fine cause he's back. He's everything you need, no matter what he does or how much he hurts you, you could never hate him.

The next day, you wake up feeling happy. Yoongi is sleeping peacefully next to you, snoring with his arm thrown over his eyes, still like a mummy. You smile and get off bed carefully, trying to not wake him up as you walk towards the bathroom to clean yourself. As you look into the mirror, you can see the bruises and hickeys he left all over your body. You have a large bruise on your throat from where he choked you last night and one on the back of both of your thighs and on your ass from the harsh pounding.

You take a deep breath and move your hair back away from your neck, tracing the bruises on your skin with your fingers. You let out a sigh, touching them gently before turning around and looking down at the bruises on the back of your thighs. You can't go to school like this, so you'll have to wait until they disappear. You take a quick shower, watching as his cum drips out of your sore cunt and asshole. You finish cleaning yourself up and look back into the mirror. Yoongi's cum is no longer staining your thighs, but the bruises he left behind are still evident of the force he had behind the previous night. It made you smile happily, if only just a little. You walk out of the bathroom wearing only one of his shirts that looks huge on you and a pair of panties, your stomach is empty, but that's just normal after he rearranged your insides last night.

You go to the small kitchen of your apartment to make yourself a coffee, your mind still replaying last night's events. You pour some coffee into a cup and add some milk and vanilla, stirring it softly before taking a sip. Just as you're doing so, feeling your throat ache as you swallow, you feel a rough spank against your ass, the stinging pain making you flinch and almost drop your coffee. You turn around inmediatly, watching Yoongi chuckling to himself in amusement.

"Morning" He grabs your waist and pulls you closer, rubbing his morning wood against your stomach. You giggle shyly, trying to push him away as he kisses your neck hungrily. "Yoongi..." You chuckle, gasping as his hands squeeze your ass cheeks harshly, his rough touch making you feel butterflies in your belly. Sometimes you feel like there's something wrong with you, maybe you're a masochist who likes pain, but you don't like pain, you just like his abuse.

He smirks at your response and grabs your thighs, lifting you up quickly and placing you on the counter top. You blush furiously as he smirks and takes his pants off, showing his rock hard cock that's already leaking pre cum, it looks so pretty and swollen, you just want to make him cum inside you and feel good. He pushes your panties aside and thrusts into you without any preparation, you're not wet yet, so you wince in pain as his cock stretches and tears your walls.

He doesn't care about your reaction, he starts to fuck you hard, grunting and moaning on every thrust. You cry in pain, tears falling down your cheeks as his thrusts hit your womb, making you bleed and bruise a little. He doesn't care, he never cares. "Fuck" He lets out a breathless chuckle, it's cute how even when you're hurting, you don't tell him to stop or push him again, such willing and easy slut with such a delicious cunt.

He starts to speed up, slamming his dick inside your pussy raw and hard, causing you to bleed more. His rough hands grab at your soft flesh, leaving bruises and red marks on your thighs for days after. He grabs your face, making you look at him in the eyes as he keeps fucking you, brutally and without mercy. His cold eyes make you shiver a little, but you don't dare to look away, he would scold you if you did. "Oh my fucking God..." He growls as he feels your tiny ass hands grip his forearms, your cute lips pouting and drooling.

He leans down to kiss you, his rough tongue fucking your mouth while he fucks your cunt. One of his hands reaches for your throat, gripping it lightly at first and then more strongly as he chokes you a little. Your tears fall on him, the saltiness mixing with his own sweat. He loves to hear you scream and moan, it shows how much you crave him to touch you, to fuck you. He loves taking what he wants, and right now it's your wet tight cunt.

He pulls out of you with a loud growl, his cum dripping from your cunt and onto the counter. He smacks your ass brutally, causing you to whimper and cry even more, but he knows how much you love it, how good it makes you feel. "Get on your knees." He commands you and you obey inmediatly, he chuckles while wiping his dick on your face, watching you as you close your eyes and open your mouth to catch every single drop.

He grins at you, wiping a stray tear from your cheek with a rough finger. "I love it when you cry, it's just so fucking hot." He says as he pushes your head down onto his cock again, forcing you to suck him dry of your own spit. You choke and gag, but you don't pull away or try to push him, you just take it. He grabs your hair in a pony tail to handle your head better, rocking your head back and forth, feeling your throat squeeze his tip and your cute lips suck him.

He moans loudly as you deep throat him, your spit dripping from his dick and onto the floor. He's close to coming but he wants to enjoy it for a bit more, teasing your mouth with shallow thrusts. You look so fucking pretty, tears falling of your shiny innocent eyes, flushed cheeks, swollen lips around his shaft and hollowed cheeks. He grabs his phone and takes some pics, just to have something to jerk off to later, he has thousands of pics of you, he didn't even ask you if you were ok with it but you didn't say no either.

He groans as he comes inside your mouth, holding your head tightly and shoving his cock deep in your mouth so you can't spit it out. He watches you as you swallow it all, cum dripping from the corner of your mouth. He throws your hair back gently before giving you a little slap on the cheek with his semi-hard cock, his other hand he takes to his phone to record you while he pumps the last drops on your lips and cheeks.

He gives you a satisfied smile as he watches the mess he made on your face. He takes off his wet cock out of your mouth, pushing it against your face, rubbing it all over, enjoying seeing you like this a little more than he should. He grabs your chin and wipes off the remaining cum from your face with his thumb, before sticking it in your mouth for you to suck clean. You do it happily, breathing heavily and looking up at him with such adoration and submission.

He's the love of your life, you've said it before and you stand behind it. Nothing he does could change that.

Nothing.

[wordstome]

the very first night (ntwdt pt 2)

tell me that you hate it hate that i'm no longer in your reach if i can't hear you say it maybe you can't change it, but if you never if you never put it on the line how am i gonna sign for it?

alpha colonel König x beta ex-lover reader

2nd person, no y/n, she/her pronouns, reader's callsign is Eden, reader speaks French, omegaverse, exes to lovers, fraternization, fantasy version of military protocol, probable incorrect use of "copy"

2.2k words

tw: mentions of dead bodies and vague violence, dirty talk, könig is in rut but no actual sex happens, mention of grinding

Do you guys still even remember this au??? 😅 I'm back to writing this fic with this specific format just like the last time I had bad writer's block. I'm sorry that I basically made you guys take a poll and then immediately disregarded the results :( metalhead König is going to be the next one published, and then kosovo maiden. Anyway, this is less of a foray into the omegaverse as it is into exploring a married couple's dynamic. Forgive me if it's inaccurate, I've never been married. (Several of the people who will probably read this are married so...I might be really embarrassing myself here lol)

“Two on your six, O’Conor.”

König watches as his colleague takes down his pursuants with practiced ease. “Good to have someone watching over me, Eden.” the man roughs into his comms.

“It was my pleasure, Declan.”

“Can you two keep the flirting off the main comms?” Fender huffs. König hears O’Conor snort before the line goes quiet.

“Steady,” Horangi says next to him.

“What?” König says.

“You’re breathing like an angry bull. It’s unnerving.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“It’s obvious you’re mad O’Conor’s flirting with your ex-wife.”

“She’s not—“ König lets out a sigh of defeat and tips his head away from the scope. “She can do whatever she wants. I’m not her keeper.”

“Right, which is why you’re white-knuckling your rifle and giving off the most furious pheromones I've ever felt."

König gives his friend a deadly side eye. “Can I help you?”

“Nah. Just confirming what I already know”, Horangi answers, unbearably smug.

König rolls his eyes and returns to the task at hand.

The two of you avoid each other, mostly.

When you’re forced to interact, it's with stiff professionalism. Cold and distant. The way it was when it was really, really bad.

You spend your time becoming closer to the other operators. O'Conor, for one, is someone you find yourself growing close to. In your line of work, it's usually not a good idea to get too attached to someone who may not see the next day, but it's part of your job to know these people now.

They're so competent that you can ignore the obvious, anyway.

König's always been competent, but watching him work nowadays is strange, like watching a remake of a nostalgic childhood film.

His movements are the same. He flicks his wrist the same way, with a heartbeat's worth of pause before the movement. Him taking cover, leaning with that awful posture you always got on his case about.

But everything about him is more ruthless, more efficient. The unrefined brutality of his youth is replaced with a honed precision that is foreign to you.

It stings, though you know the feeling has no right to exist.

You can't keep yourself from reminiscing about the past, when everything about him was familiar. When you knew him so well, it was enough to save both your lives.

"We've lost comms with König."

Your heart drops into your throat. You've been on several ops with him at this point, but this has never happened before.

"What do you mean you've lost comms?"

"He's not responding."

"What?" Fear grips your heart at everything that implies.

"He's in your building, Eden. Find him and extract. Copy."

You move slowly, like ice is flowing through your veins. "Copy."

You will yourself to calm down. Lost communications doesn't mean anything but lost communications. Panicking that you're going to encounter his body will only ensure you end up as a corpse as well. Besides, who could ever take down a man like that, tall like a giant and quick like a viper as he is?

If you had lost comms, what would you do? Re-establish them, of course. Pick your way out of the building and do everything in your power to reconnect with your team. From where König entered, he'd be exiting the building on the east side. You turn to head that way, then hesitate.

König's not you, though. He's not like any other member of the team. Proud, arrogant, vicious König, far more so than other alphas. You used to be afraid of him while he was at work, but eventually you came to realize that was simply how he was in his element—a different persona he wore to battle. As much as you wished he would be sensible and take the safe route, König would never take the safe route. He'd be carrying on the mission on his own, moving towards the target at the center of the building.

But he's a professional. No matter how good he is at what he does, he's not a one-man army, and he knows the right thing to do would be to extract. It's a gamble. If you head towards the east exit and he's not there, you could be losing precious time to find him. But if you head towards the center, you could be walking right into a fight you can't win and become overwhelmed.

You let out a shaky breath and attempt to calm your mind. What would he do? What is he thinking? If you make the wrong call, if you don't know your lover as well as you think you do, one of you won't be walking out of here. You close your eyes and think.

You open them with newfound determination and turn towards the center of the building.

You'd been right, of course, judging by the fallen enemies you find as you move through the hallways. But you don't allow yourself to feel sure until the moment you lay eyes on him, securing the target—a hard drive containing sensitive information.

"König!" you hiss, just as he whips towards you, gun drawn. He relaxes when he sees it's only you. Despite the fraught situation you're in, you can't help yourself from dashing towards him and burying your face into his chest in a hug.

"Eden," he says, his relief evident.

"You stupid motherfucker," you hiss. "You should have extracted the moment your comms cut out."

His eyes crinkle up behind his mask the way they always do when he smiles. "You knew I wouldn't."

"Yes, because I am burdened with being one of the few people on this earth who knows you like the back of my hand. Atlas holding up the sky," you grumble.

"I know you're relieved to see me," he responds, joy evident in his tone.

You let out a sigh. "Can we just get out of here?"

"Aye-aye, captain."

You could do without those memories, you think whenever the two of you trade clipped exchanges during ops now.

König still has traces of the arrogance of his youth, but it shows through less now. He's wiser, more patient and far less reckless.

You catch yourself admiring how good of a leader he's become. His connection with his teammates is like muscles flexing a hand.

You're no longer a part of that nervous system.

In fact, he's always catching you off guard now.

The energy in the common area is weird today.

You can’t quite put your finger on it. It’s like everyone’s walking on eggshells, but at the same time, nobody’s mood seems to be that affected. It’s like you’re all mice living in someone’s walls: going about business as usual, but with some looming threat casting a pall over everything.

“Is it just me or does the energy on base feel off today?” you ask Calisto.

“Oh. Yeah, that. Don’t worry about it,” she says. She swings open the refrigerator and pulls out coffee creamer. “No need for concern. König’s in rut.”

You do a double take. “He is?”

“Yeah.” She’s casual about it as she dumps cream and sugar into her coffee. “Usually he has a pretty light rut—he just gets testy and irritated. But for some reason this time is bad.” She offers you the cream, but you shake your head. “Don’t know what’s up with him, but he had to barricade himself in his room. His scent is driving people up the wall.”

You stare at the table in front of you. It can’t be a coincidence that König’s rut gets worse as soon as you’re near him again, can it?

When you look up, Horangi is staring at you from across the room. Slowly, he raises his mug to his lips, never once taking his eyes off of you.

You swallow the lump in your throat.

Calisto was right. The scent is overwhelming, but it's also familiar. You can't blame the others for avoiding the area. If you'd never dealt with him in this state before, you'd be hightailing it out of there too. Which is why you're doing this despite...everything.

You hover outside his door, trying to gather yourself, or work up the nerve to knock, or anything. It doesn’t matter in the end, though.

“I can smell you, liebling,” comes his voice, deep and growling and verging on feral. A shiver runs up your spine. You haven’t been called that in a long, long time.

“I only came here to bring you things. Water and…snacks.” you stammer, instantly hating yourself for how weak you sound.

“All these years later…and you still smell the same.” He blows right past your feeble little excuse, not even dignifying it with a response.

“I’m just here to check on you,” you murmur.

“Is that so.” You gasp as you hear a loud thud against the door from the other side. Oh God, it’s him, his body heat almost burning through the wood, pressed so close that you can hear his heaving breaths. “How kind of you.”

“It’s the least I can do, considering…”

“Considering it’s your fault I’m like this in the first place?”

Your legs feel weak. “Yes.”

His voice is silky, dangerous despite the barely restrained lust behind it. “Good girl.”

“That’s not fair,” you whisper.

“That’s a shame. You used to like it when I called you that. Still do, according to my nose.”

You wish he wasn’t right, but he is. You’re so slick that you’re soaking your underwear.

“Do you want the water or not?”

“Are you going to come with it?”

“I—”

“Because I promise you, if you’re still standing there when I open this door, you will get fucked against it.” He sounds like a savage animal snapping his jaws in hunger, and fuck, your body feels hot and weak in response. Every cell in your body is screaming out for you to throw open that door and let him fuck you limp. If you told him to break down the door, you’re sure that he would.

“You can’t say that anymore,” you whisper, hating the words as they leave you.

That seems to bring König back to rationality. You can picture him now on the other side of the door, shoulders slumping as he withdraws back into himself. "I...I'm sorry."

You slide down to sit on the ground with your back to the door, gripping a water bottle in a clenched fist. "It's like no time has passed at all, huh?"

You hear him let out a shaky breath, clearly trying to collect himself and bite back words he can't say. "Yeah."

That's the thing, isn't it? Your biology and his got the two of you into this situation in the first place. Very little of that has changed. Even though you've grown distanced in your minds, your bodies haven't forgotten the connection.

You're still struggling with how to feel about that. So much of your life has been dictated by what your body needs and wants. You've spent just as much time bucking against those needs and wants, so much that it feels like second nature.

"All of this...it takes me back. Do you remember the first night I spent with you during a rut?" you say. For a while you don't think he's heard you, but then he responds.

"How could I forget? It's my most embarrassing memory."

"Still?"

"I swore I would never let something like that happen again."

You giggle a little. "It was cute, for what it's worth." That first time, you'd come prepared with water and food, just like you had tonight, prepared for a long night full of...strenuous exercise. Instead, König had gotten so overwhelmed at his first rut with a partner that he came by just grinding on your leg and immediately fell into a 12-hour sleep.

"Yeah, you've said that. Doesn't make me cringe any less."

"And I'll say it again, it wasn't as bad as you think it is." You idly trace the cap of the water bottle with a fingertip. "There's no shame between us."

Another long pause before he responds. "Was."

A dull, throbbing pain nestles itself below your sternum.

"It...doesn't have to be past tense," you put forth tentatively.

"Doesn't it? We've gone right back to being strangers. You're still on the other side of the door."

You bite your lip. You can't deny that, nor the distance that's grown between the two of you.

This is all happening too fast. You don't know if you want to close the gap. You don't know if you're ready to make amends, after what happened.

"You're in no condition to have this conversation," you say, to distract both him and yourself.

"Conversation with you is hard to come by nowadays."

"Well...let's change that. Starting when your rut's over. Let's try talking like normal people again." This time, you don't know if you can blame your stupid biology for the relief you feel saying that. Maybe this time it's nothing but you and your treacherous heart.

You hear a thump against the door, but not an aggressive one. More like he's leaned his head against it. "I guess we have to start somewhere."

More silence. Then he speaks again, his voice tremulous.

"Can you stay? It's easier when you're here."

You swallow, your mouth gone dry like a desert. You can barely manage your next two words. "Of course."

The rest of the night is quiet, but you know he's there. At one point, you can even hear his steady, even breathing. Somewhere along the way, you notice that your breathing has synced with his.

The two of you fall asleep like that, propped up next to each other with a single layer of wood between you.

I miss you like it was the very first night...

I only revised this once while exhausted out of my fucking mind at 3am, so forgive me if anything's awkward or clunky. I'll probably go through it again in the morning (and die of cringe). But there we go! I hope you guys enjoy. As always, I would love to see your thoughts and comments <3

Regarding my tag lists: I've had to leave out a few people, so if you see your url missing from this, please let me know and I'll add you back. Also, apologies if you're here despite not asking to be tagged for this particular story. I haven't gotten around to sorting out fic-specific taglists yet 🥲

@kneelingshadowsalome @danibee33 @crowbird @poohkie90 @cumikering @iytatsworld @papaver-decervicatus @anxietyrain @cookiepie111 @no1runawaymilkdad @chthonian-spectre @backwards-readings @yxllowtxpe @hexqueensupreme @violetstyless @her-majesty-theking @vegan-peppermint @peonytarian @ghostslittlegf @deaddainish @teehee-47 @catluvwr @keiva1000 @waves-against-a-cliff @channelsoph @cutiecusp @itsagrimm @dins-riduur-anthe @mantishymns @lexuria @complexivelovely @black-moon-bunny @kit-williams @shebibtedmypepnis @mafer383

[foolforharrry]

Off The Deep End

Word count: 12.8k words

Summary: Harry is scared of how much he feels and goes about it like a fucking idiot.

Warnings: There is smut. Nothing too crazy

This one has taken me forever to write and it got way longer than i intended it to. But I'm absolutely in love with them and I hope you guys like them too. But be nice to them please. They're my babies.

But I hope you like it anyway. And if you wanna read more of my work, I have it all linked on my masterlist.

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated and if you have any requests please feel free to give them to me and I will do my absolute best to do it.

Amber

“Fuck. Just like that, baby.”, Harry praises, dropping his forehead to my neck. His harsh breaths hit my sweaty skin making a shiver travel down my spine as I ride him. The need to make him feel good drowned out the burning in my thighs from the exertion.

As long as he feels good it doesn’t matter.

Burying my fingers in his damp hair, I hold onto it as if my life depends on it, the moans falling from my lips loud and unrestrained as I feel that pressure in my tummy starts to build.

With my thighs straddling him, knees digging into the mattress below us, Harry keeps his hands on my hips to guide them to his liking as he kneads the flesh of my ass. The low moans and whimpers of pleasure he lets out only fuel my own.

His hair is messy from how much I’ve pulled on it. Skin flushed and gleaming with sweat. The crease between his eyebrows is deeper than normal and his red, swollen lips are parted with needy moans.

My eyes flutter when I feel Harry place a hot open-mouthed kiss on the base of my neck before he starts sucking on the sensitive skin. Sharp stings of pain travel down my spine as he nips at the skin before gliding his tongue over it to soothe it again. It has me clenching and fluttering around his dick as I feel the unmistakable feeling of my orgasm growing as my hips falter in their work and I struggle to keep lifting myself up.

Harry must notice because he flips us so he’s on top, my head hitting the pillows next to where his just laid all without slipping out of me. And he picks up right where I left off, pulling out almost all the way so that just the tip of his cock is left inside of me before he slams his hips in, filling me all the way to the brim.

The new angle has me choking on a breath as he hits that spot that makes my toes curl and my eyes squeeze shut.

Harry supports his weight on his arms, his body hovering just above my own as he drops his sweaty forehead to mine. It feels like his eyes are staring right into my soul, pupils blown out from lust. “That feel good, baby? You like it when I fuck you like this, yeah?” His voice is deep and raspy and dripping with desire

I don’t even get the chance to answer him, interrupted by a harsh groan as he delivers an extra hard thrust that has my eyes rolling into the back of my head.

That should be answer enough.

The sound of skin slapping against skin is sinful enough. But the things Harry is saying in my ear could come straight from the devil himself.

“Fuck.”, I cry out when Harry shifts all his weight over to his left arm, attaching his thumb to my clit and rubbing it in fast, precise circles. It feels like too much and I’m gripping Harry’s shoulders as if I would float away if I let go when the intense pleasure that’s lighting my skin on fire makes it hard to breathe. Almost as if the air is too thin.

“Harry. I’m gonna-”, I try to warn him, but I’m cut off by my own moan. I don’t last as long as I would normally from all the teasing Harry has been doing all day. I’m defenceless against the fireworks just waiting to go off and make the sky bright with all the colours of the rainbow. And he knows it.

The dazed half-smirk on his face says it all as he nods, “I know, baby. Let go. Cum all around my cock. I need it.”

That’s all it takes and I’m toppling over the edge with Harry’s name on my tongue like a never-ending prayer. My cunt spasms and my body trembles with the blinding orgasm that makes my ears ring and my vision go white.

I’m so far up in the clouds I barely even register Harry’s thrusts faltering as he reaches his high not long after me.

When I’ve come down from my orgasm, it’s with Harry laying on top of me. Our bodies as close as they could physically be.

Still not opening my eyes, I run my fingers up his back, finding comfort in how warm and soft his skin is. The heat that spreads across my cheeks when I feel him smile against my neck makes me grateful that he can’t see my face right now.

I find myself not wanting this moment to ever end. Perfectly content just basking in post-orgasmic bliss and the warmth of Harry’s body. There have been times I’ve thought things couldn’t possibly get any better than they are. This moment right here might just take first place on the list though.

“You feel good?”, Harry breaks the silence, bringing me out of my head and placing a small kiss on my shoulder as he lifts himself up.

“Mhm.”, I hum, the tiredness from our activities settling in my body. “Really good.”

Even though I knew it was coming, I still can’t help the whimper from sensitivity when he pulls out. “I know, darling. I’m sorry.”

I feel his breath on my face as the mattress dips next to my head, telling me that he is hovering above me again. “Look at me.”

“No.” I shake my head, a small smile tugging at the corners of my mouth, tucking my bottom lip into my mouth when his nose bumps against mine. An explosion of butterflies erupts in my stomach from the gesture.

Harry kisses the tip of my nose, then both my cheeks before he results to pepper kisses all over my face until I’m full-on laughing, opening my eyes to find him looking down at me with a cheesy smile on his face that has his dimples carving into his cheeks. “There she is.”

The words on the tip of my tongue falter at the next thing that comes from his; “You’re so damn beautiful.”

There isn’t a hint of sarcasm or irony. Just honesty. And dare I say affection?

If I wasn’t so tired right now, I might have started running around my apartment, screaming like a crazy woman.

Cupping the sides of his face, stroking his soft, glowing cheeks with the pads of my thumbs as my gaze switches between his eyes. Taking in the gentle green with speckles of gold so beautiful and delicate my breath gets caught in my throat all over again.

“You’re a special kind of beautiful too.”, I whisper, eyes widening in slight panic when I realise I said it out loud. That is not what I meant to say. It has my heart picking up in my chest as I search for any sign that I fucked up.

My anxieties prove to be without merit when the initial look of surprise on his face is washed away by a gleaming close-lipped smile, his bunny teeth digging into his bottom lip.

An emotion I can’t quite decipher flickers through his twinkling eyes before he dips down and connect out lips in a soft, tender kiss that has my eyes fluttering close. The kind of kiss that doesn’t lead anywhere.

It’s new and unlike the kisses we’ve shared in the time we’ve known each other. But I can’t lie and say that it doesn’t have a new kind of warmth glowing around my heart.

As terrifying as it is, it’s also something I find myself craving to feel again the second he pulls away.

The sound of my alarm is what pulls me out of my deep sleep.

Drowsily and blindly, I fumble around my nightstand for where the horrible noise is coming from so I can make it fucking stop.

After a few seconds of enjoying the silence, I notice the cold, empty mattress my arm is spread out on. Cold enough for it to have been unoccupied for quite some time now.

The realisation has me sitting up quickly, suddenly wide awake as I struggle to make out anything in the dark room. The only sound I can hear is the rustling of my sheets and my own breathing.

Although the smell of him is still lingering in the air, he’s not wrapped up in the duvet next to me anymore.

My stomach sinks in disappointment and confusion.

But instead of letting myself sit and overthink it, I throw the covers off my body, shuddering as the cold air meets the bare skin of my legs. I wrap my arms around myself as I get out of bed and pad on bare feet across the floor in the dark.

I need my morning pee.

However, I’m stopped in my tracks when I spot the post-it note stuck to my bathroom mirror just after I close the door behind me.

Nearly tripping over my feet, I snatch the yellow paper off the reflective surface, squinting my tired eyes as I make out the words written in messy handwriting.

Morning, sleepy head. Sorry to run out on you like this. Let me make it up to you? I’ll call you after you get home today.

Love, H

-

3 weeks later

I’ve never really been the type of girl who gets attached.

Never in my twenty-four years of life have I walked around and waited for a boy to call me back. Reaching for my phone the second the screen lights up with a notification only to have my heart drop to my stomach when I once again discover that it’s not who I hoped it was.

“No, Bon. It wasn’t just sex. I really liked him. And I thought he likes me too.”, I sigh, already prepared for the lecture sitting at the tip of her tongue.

And she gives it. “You know I love you, but I think maybe you should let this go. I don’t know him, but I do know you. Babe, you haven’t opened up to a guy ever since Dan. We both know what happened there and I just don’t think that having the first man you let in should be someone who will just ghost you for three weeks- What I mean is that you deserve someone who doesn’t hurt you like he’s obviously doing.”

“I’m not saying that you should just forget about Harry. Because you obviously feel something for him if you’re telling me about his eyelashes.” I laugh at that because she’s right. “I just don’t want you to take another six years to open your heart up again if he breaks it.”

“He said he would call me.” I cringe at how pathetic I sound.

Bonnie sighs, “I know. I wish I was there so I could kick his ass.” “You wouldn’t.”

“Get me a plane ticket and I’ll prove it to you.” I nearly drop the lid of my coffee cup to the floor from how aggressive she sounds. If it weren’t for the fact that I know that Bonnie is the sweetest person on this planet and would never hurt a fly, I would have believed her. “I’m sure you would.”

“Don’t you have to go now?”, she asks, effectively changing the topic. And looking at the time, she is again, absolutely right. I should’ve been out the door three minutes ago.

“Shit!”, I curse. “Ok, bye Bon. I love you.” I blow her a kiss and press the red hang-up button once she’s said goodbye too.

Practically ripping my coat off the hook, I stuff my feet into my black converse, figuring I’ll tie them later as the bottom of my black, mom jeans cover the tops of the shoes. Sliding my purse over my shoulder, coat folded over my forearm and tucked to my stomach as I close the door to my apartment behind me.

Once I’m sure the door is locked, checking the handle two times, I jog down the dark, dirty green carpeted floor of the hallway where the same carpet covers the steps of the staircase the next two floors down.

The chilly, autumn wind hits my face, and hands the seconds I push open the tired, wooden front door to my apartment complex. The wind even seeps through the thin material of the white cotton shirt I put on under my favourite chocolate brown and beige sweater vest.

Thankfully, my car is parked just on the other side of the road.

I had hoped that the twenty-minute drive to the school would give me enough time to get my head sorted and a certain someone out of it. And it worked until one of his fucking songs started playing.

It had completely slipped my mind that they were on the playlist I was listening to.

The urge I’d had to cry the second his voice seeped into my ears and made every cell in my body vibrate with the allure and grace he sang with isn’t ok. It’s like he put his own special kind of magic into every single note. Every lyric.

The same kind of magic that laced every kiss and every touch he laid on my skin.

It’s that magic that’s been haunting me.

This whole day, I haven’t been able to think about anything else. My mind hasn’t been on my pupils like it should, but on him and the magic he made me feel.

Thank God, they were all angels today and worked on their essays like they were supposed to and talked quietly amongst themselves.

During fourth period I found myself wondering what kind of student Harry was.

Was he the quiet, studious type who kept to himself or was he the one who always raised his hand? Maybe he was the kid that would always try to make everyone laugh. Did he get good grades or was he barely scraping by? The only thing I’m sure about is that there is no way he was a bully.

The possibility of that is as big as the possibility of me becoming a mega-rich actress tomorrow. Less than one percent.

I don’t know if it’s the fact that Harry is the first man I’ve been with who has been truly good that has me in such a twist over him. But it could definitely be a factor in my current struggle.

As I twist the key in the ignition, turning the car on after finishing up everything I needed to do at school, I wonder whether I hate it or just strongly dislike it.

I’m going to need longer than twenty minutes to figure that out.

Harry

“I think I fucked up, mate.”

Sprawled on top of my unmade bed with my eyes trained on the white ceiling and my phone by my ear, I wait for the ‘No you didn’t, don’t be stupid.’ But it doesn’t come.

“Um.”, Mitch starts. “Fucked up what?”

Right. I’ve only walked around thinking about it constantly like a psychopath for three weeks without saying a word about it to anyone.

That would have defeated the purpose of this whole thing.

But now I’m at the point where I can’t even remember why I decided to do this in the first place.

“Remember that girl I told you about?”, I ask, chewing on the inside of my cheek.

“The one from the plane? Amber, was it?”

I shouldn’t automatically smile at the mention of her name. But there is no denying that she has a beautiful one. Nowhere near as beautiful as she is, but beautiful nonetheless. “Yeah, that’s her.”

“What did you do now?” I haven’t even told him what I think I fucked up, and he sounds done with me already.

Before I open my mouth, I take a second to gather my thoughts. “I don’t even know why I did it anymore. It was going really well. She was everything I ever fucking dreamed of. Man, her laugh did things to me. And just the way she spoke about her students. You can tell that she truly cares about those kids.”

I remember when I’d asked her about her job, she had spoken so passionately about it. But the thing that stood out to me was that she the first thing she spoke about wasn’t what she got out of it or why she loved it specifically. No. She went on about how bright the kids truly are and went into detail about them individually. I’m not even sure how long I listened to her talk about these kids I hadn’t even met. But I would have happily done it for hours just to see the way her eyes shone.

But for Mitch’s sake, I skip over all of that and get to the part where I probably blew it.

“Like, three weeks ago. I fell asleep at her place even though I knew I was going to the studio early the next morning. I stayed as long as I could. Then left a note saying I would call her. And I was going to.”

I pause and my stomach twists painfully with guilt. Now that I’m about to admit it out loud, makes me truly realize how fucking shitty this was.

“You didn’t call her, did you?” Mitch guesses, tone neutral. Even though I don’t deserve it, I’m thankful that he isn’t judging me.

“I didn’t.”

It’s nothing more than a whisper, but he still hears it. “Harry.”

“I know. I’m a fucking dick.”, I mutter, hiding my face in my hands as if that’s going to make it better. It doesn’t.

“Ok, H.”, Mitch starts. “Whether you take my advice or not is up to you.”

I hum in agreement; the sound muffled my hands.

“You’re being fucking stupid. I know you’re crazy about her. You know it even if you don’t want to admit it. Amber sounds like a great person. Do you really want to let her slip away before you’ve given it a real shot because of what? You’re scared?”

He hit the nail on the head.

“Because I don’t think you do. And it’s not like you to not do something because you’re scared of the consequences.”

“What if she doesn’t want to?” For a second, I’m not even sure if he heard me and I am fighting the urge to hang up and never leave my house and talk to another soul for the rest of my life.

“Then it’s going to hurt. But at least you’ll know. And you won’t have to wonder for the rest of your life.”

“I should have called you earlier.”, I laugh, mentally slapping myself for having been so stupid.

Mitch snorts, “Yeah you should have. Now if you don’t go try and make it right, I will personally beat your ass black and blue. Understood?”

Unable to tell whether he is being serious or not, I sit up straight, saluting even though he can’t see me. “Yes sir.”

I don’t think I’ve ever been as nervous as I am right now.

Sitting on the hard, green carpet with my back against the wall and my knees tucked to my chest. Arms around them and my head tilted back as I study the different patterns in the wooden door in front of me to keep my mind occupied.

I’m worried if I think too hard about what I’m about to do, I will chicken out and drive right back home.

My palms are clammy, and I swear I haven’t been able to take a full breath since I put on my shoes almost three hours ago.

In an attempt to not seem like a stalker, I had left the house so I would be here at half past five. And I was. Amber is usually finished with work and safe home by five.

Apparently not today.

I started on the steps outside. Then it got a bit too cold and I rang the bell of a random person and said I was pizza delivery so they would buzz me in. It worked on the fourth try. Since then I’ve switched between pacing the length of the hallway and sitting just like I am right now.

This might have been one of the worst ideas I’ve ever had.

Not counting the one that put me in this position in the first place.

Just thinking back to it makes me want to rip my own hair out now that I’ve realized just how fucking idiotic I was.

Who in their right mind finds that one person it feels like you’ve known your whole life, and when the realization dawns on them, they ghost them for three weeks? And for what? Fear of that person maybe not feeling the same way? Falling too far too fast?

If I could do it all over, I would jump without a parachute for the chance that she might end up being the wings beneath my wings that make me fly.

Which is kind of what I’m trying to do right now.

“What are you doing here?”

I’m snapped out of my thoughts when I hear her voice. That voice I’ve replayed a thousand times over in my head as if it was my favourite record.

She’s standing right in front of me. I hadn’t even noticed she was there or that I had closed my eyes, too far in my own head.

Carefully, I open one eye followed by the other. And I swear the sight in front of me has my heart beating out of my chest with excitement and my throat going dry with dread.

Pulling a smile, I wave up at her. “Hi.”

Amber

Never underestimate what a nice, long drive and a bar of your favourite chocolate can do.

After leaving work, I’d decided that I would give myself one more day to think about him. Then I’d be done. I would put that behind me. Leave it in my rearview mirror. Harry would be a short chapter in my life. Wonderful and magical. But finished.

There were tears shed and another phone call made to Bonnie for some very badly needed encouragement and reminding that I don’t need a man to be happy.

I’m not even sure about how long I’ve been out, but it’s dark by the time I hear the sound of my car locking as I sling my purse over my shoulder. I can feel the fatigue settling in my bones from the day and I am so looking forward to cuddling up with my mountain of pillows and putting on some mindless show with ice cream until I fall asleep.

The second my eyes lock on the figure by my door, I’m suddenly wide awake again. The tiredness vanished like it was never even there as I’m stopping in my tracks.

I’d recognize him anywhere.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”, I mutter under my breath. This has got to be some fucking cosmic joke the universe is playing on me.

Of course, he would show up just when I decided that I was done. That I was going to let it be and move on with my life.

This is great.

Harry has his head on his knees, arms around his shins tucked to his torso. His hair is messy. Like he either hasn’t styled it today or ran his hand through it a billion times the way he does when he’s stressed or nervous.

His fingers are void of any of the usual rings that adorn them. From what I can tell, his nails are painted black now and he’s dressed in a pair of light-washed, ripped jeans and a mint green cardigan.

By the time it’s taken me to slowly make my way over to him, stopping right in front of him, he still hasn’t moved a muscle or done anything that shows that he’s aware of the fact that he’s not alone in the hallway anymore.

I find myself wondering how long he’s been sitting out here like this. Why he’s even here? I ask him the latter, hating how small I sound, “What are you doing here?”

Slowly, he drops his arms down to his side and cranes his head until our eyes meet and I can practically see the wheels in his head turning. It’s making the crease between his eyebrows deepen further in thought before he offers me a weak smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Hi.”

I’m not sure why, but that short hi makes me take a step back, a pang of hurt hitting my chest. But it also makes me extremely frustrated.

“Hi, Harry.”, I say, stepping around him to unlock my door, not even making an attempt to mask the anger I’m feeling right now. “You didn’t answer my question.”

He scrambles to get to his feet, stuffing his hands in his pockets with an unsure look on his face. “I just wanted to…”, he trails off, voice dying out as if he doesn’t know what comes next.

“Did you come back here just to lie to me again?” I hope he doesn’t notice the crack of emotion, my throat tight as I push open the front door to my apartment.

Taking a deep breath to ground myself, which is easier said than done since I can practically feel his eyes burning a hole into to side of my head. I turn to meet his eye, hoping that he can’t tell how much I want to cry from the look on my face right now as I ignore the look of distress on his. “If that’s the case, then please just leave.”

I fully expect him to turn on his heel and leave. Or maybe he realised he forgot some things here that he wants to pick up. And that’s why he came. Then he’ll leave right after he’s got it.

That’s more likely, to be honest.

To my surprise, Harry lets out a sudden, humourless laugh. One that I’ve never heard from him. Then he shimmies himself between my body and the doorframe and into my apartment.

The strong whiff of his smell that hits my nose almost has me dizzy for a second before I shake my head and follow him.

Confusion takes over when Harry plops down on the edge of the beige sofa after kicking off his shoes without saying a word, his right foot tapping rapidly against the rug as he fiddles with his fingers where his rings usually are.

So…he isn’t here to pick something up?

Observing him carefully, I hang up my coat and take off my shoes, placing them neatly in their designated spot as the anger and hurt dim with the confusion that’s taking their place.

My apartment might not be much, but I keep it tidy.

Harry’s silence and nervous fiddling are making me more and more nervous the longer it goes on and I wish he would just spit out what he so obviously has on his mind.

“Can you please sit?”, is the first thing he eventually says. And he says it so softly he doesn’t sound like himself.

I’d had no idea what he was going to open with, but it for sure wasn’t that. Still, I quietly pad across my living room, sitting down on the sofa with the space of one person between us. My hands stay folded in my lap as I pinch the skin of my clammy palm, looking anywhere but him.

This is not ice cream and Netflix, that’s for sure.

“How have you been?” “Fine.”, I reply automatically, “And you?”

“A dick.” He says it so matter-of-factly and quickly it catches me by surprise and I can’t stop myself from peeking over at him. He’s not wrong.

When I don’t say anything he continues, his eyes boring into mine “I told you I would call you. In that note I left you. And I swear I meant to. And then I didn’t. And I fully understand if you never want to see my face again.”

“Why? If you didn’t have time for me or didn’t want to keep seeing me, then sure. But why the fuck didn’t you just tell me to my face that you didn’t want anything to do with me? Or at least send a fucking text.” I’m breathing harder by the time I’m done talking. But I swear it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders now that the question I’ve been wanting to ask him is finally out of my mouth.

Harry’s mouth opens and closes like a fish, looking like my words hit him like a ton of bricks. The way his shoulders deflated and the deep frown that settled on his face as his eyes glosses over.

And just like that the anger is back and I stand up suddenly, “You know what. I don’t want to know. Just please leave.” I point to my front door to further my point, ignoring the burning at the back of my eyes, keeping my face as hard as I possibly can. Somehow seeing him seeming so torn up over this makes it hurt all the more.

“No.”, Harry shakes his head firmly as he gets to his feet as well. That’s the first thing he’s done since I saw him today that hasn’t seemed riddled with nerves. “Let me explain.”

He takes my silence as an invitation to speak.

“I fully intended on calling you.” He takes a step forward, making me crane my neck slightly to maintain eye contact, searching his for any hint of untruthfulness. “And god did I want to. I wanted to hear that sweet fucking voice of yours more than you understand.”

“Then why didn’t you?”, I ask, hating how small I sound.

“Because I got fucking scared.” Harry takes another step, now so close that his cologne infiltrates my senses again.

I feel my jaw drop in surprise at his confession. But it doesn’t stay like that for long because Harry gently pushes it back up with his pointer finger on my chin. It’s like a jolt of electricity shoots out of his fingertip and travels through my whole body, making my heartbeat pick up and my breathing shallows at his touch.

Harry answers the question I had on the tip of my tongue before I get the chance to ask it, “I know this probably makes me more of a dick. But the way you make me feel, Ambs? It’s so exhilarating and wonderful and safe all at the same time. And that’s what makes it so damn terrifying.”

My eyes round in question as I tilt my head to the side, “Why didn’t you just tell me this instead of disappearing?”

“Because I was drowning when I met you. And I swear you took my hand and pulled me right up. I could finally breathe again. It felt like if my fears were true and you didn’t want me like I want you, I’d be thrown right off into the deep end again.”

Completely speechless at his honesty, my eyes flick between his as emotion builds in my throat again. My face is no doubt beet red. The only thing I manage to squeeze out is, “No wonder you write songs for a living.”

Harry laughs, eyebrows shooting up in surprise and I swear my heart jumps at the melodic sound. “I’m also a certified comedian.”

Now it’s my turn to laugh, turning my head to the side so I won’t snort straight into his face, my hand coming up to muffle the sound. There is no way in hell that’s true. Unless he paid someone to give him some paper that says he’s the funniest man in the business.

Immediately, Harry swats my hands away, turning my head right back with his hands now cupping both sides of my neck.

“Don’t hide from me.” It’s more of a demand than a request. I can’t even argue when he juts his bottom lip out in a pout, making his eyes round and big. His lashes are dark and long, contrasting with his pale green irises.

Tucking my bottom lip into my mouth, I fiddle with the button of his cardigan just below his chest absentmindedly.

My head tilts down, so I won’t have to look him in the eye. Now that I’m focusing on the individual stitches of his cardigan, I ask him nervously, “So you like me?”

When he doesn’t answer, I feel panic starting to bubble in my chest. My head screams that I fucked up and took everything he said the wrong way as I feel tears starting to form when he lets go of my neck. The puffs of air that fans over my forehead make my shame grow to the point where I wish for the ground to swallow me whole.

With embarrassment ringing in my ears, I go to take a step back so I’m out of his space, not even daring to look at his face. Too scared of what I’d find. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t know what I-”

I’m cut off by his lips crashing against mine with a force I haven’t felt before, his hands right back where they were before, stopping me from even taking one step as my eyes widen in surprise. Then I’m melting into the kiss, wringing the soft material of his cardigan in my fists as I kiss him back.

Every single worry in my mind went silent the second he kissed me and now it’s calm. The same way the world quiets once your head is submerged in water and all you can hear is the serene sound of the water dancing beautifully around you.

If Harry is magic, then his kiss is a spell that I would let him cast over me for the rest of my days.

“Does that answer your question?”, he asks, lips brushing against mine as he talks while his thumbs stroking my cheeks.

Our noses bump when I nod and I feel him smile against my lips.

Neither of us says anything. else for I don’t know how long. I can feel my heartbeat underneath his hands as I keep my hold on his cardigan, his chest pushing against my knuckles every time it expands. Our breaths mix in the millimetres of space between us.

All I want to do is kiss him.

The more time passes the harder my heart beats and the more the need to feel his lips on mine again grows.

At the same time, after going for three weeks without as much as laying my eyes on him. So as torturous as being so close to, and not kissing him is, I still bask in his presence. His smell and his touch. The feeling of stardust still lingering on my lips that I so desperately want to mould with his.

“I like your cardigan.”, I whisper, flattening my hands against his firm chest.

Harry sucks in a quick breath before I feel him smile against my lips. He drops his left hand to where mine are, wrapping his fingers around my wrist as he presses my hand firmer against his chest. “It’s yours.”, he confesses, tilting his head so our foreheads are aligned.

My eyes fly open as I look at him with wide eyes, pulling my face away from his. “No way! You stole my cardigan?”

He grins so wide that his eyes crinkle, completely contradicting the nonchalant shrug he gives, “Doesn’t seem like you missed it too much if you didn’t even realise it was yours.”

“Oh, shut up.”, I roll my eyes, pushing at his chest.

Without budging, he drops his hand from my wrist to my waist pulling my body flush against his. He keeps me there, splaying both his hands over the small of my back, that same blinding smile lighting up the room. “I look good in it though, don’t I?”

My arms loop around his neck, back arching as I giggle, “So much better than me.”

His smile drops, looking downright offended. “No. Absolutely not.”

I open my mouth to protest, but he cuts me off before I get the chance to. “Don’t say that shit about yourself! You’re so fucking beautiful, baby. Just having you in my arms makes me the luckiest fucking man alive.”

At a loss for words, I blink rapidly before I grip his hair with my fingers as I stand up on my tiptoes to bring him into a kiss, hoping that understands.

Everything feels right the second his mouth is on mine.

Harry groans into the kiss, his hand sliding up my back as it arches more, a shiver travelling down my spine.

Keeping my body as close as possible to his, chest to chest, Harry doesn’t take long before he switches up in a way that makes my head spin.

The soft, tender kisses left behind as he slides his tongue over my bottom lip, asking for access. There was no need for coaxing. I grant it without question, feeling heat creeping through my body at the way he teases his tongue alone mine.

Dipping my own tongue into his mouth in return, running it along his teeth elicits a groan from his throat that has my thighs squeezing together.

That moment when he switches from kissing me softly to robbing my lungs of air with deep, hot kisses never fails to make me absolutely weak in the knees.

He drops his hand to my ass, squeezing the flesh in his palm as his mouth becomes hungrier, as do my own. I tug at his hair. Hard. Eliciting a groan from the back of his throat that has me smirking against his mouth at his reaction. I don’t get to gloat for long, because Harry suddenly turns around and sits down on the sofa, not disconnecting our mouths for a second. I follow him blindly. As if I would die if his lips weren’t on mine for one mere moment.

My thighs are on either side of his and all I can taste is his mouth on mine. All I can feel are his hands roaming my body and his soft, pillowy lips. All I can smell is his musky cologne and the warm scent of his shampoo. It’s all him. There isn’t one cell in my being that hasn’t been touched by him.

I’m not sure if I’m dizzy from the lack of oxygen or the way he is kissing me so deeply, but if I died right now, I would die a happy fucking woman.

As if he knew exactly what was going through my head, Harry gives my lips one final peck before he’s nudging me to tilt my head up and to the side with his nose for better access. He leaves hot, open-mouthed kisses along my jaw until he reaches the spot on my neck that’s just below it.

I can’t help the loud gasp I let out at the sensation when he alternated between sucking, licking and nipping at the skin of my neck and throat. He keeps at it until I’m squirming in his lap, throbbing with need.

Right now, I can’t even find it in me to care that my neck is most likely going to be littered with love bites in the morning.

Harry drops his hands to my hips, dragging them forward so I’m sitting right on top of his bulge, both of us gasping at the contact. I can feel him hardening through the material of our clothes, and it’s making a new wave of desire fly through my nervous system.

His head falls to my chest when I roll my hips forward experimentally. The whimper he lets out spurs me to keep doing it.

“Can I take off your shirt?”, he asks, his cheeks flush with red as he looks up at me. His hair messily lays over his forehead. The sweat that’s started accumulating on his skin makes it stick to his temples.

In this moment, Harry could ask me to jump off a roof and I’d ask if he wanted me to do a flip too.

“Please.”, I practically whine, brushing his hair out of his face before laying a tender kiss to the space between his eyebrows. His eyes flutter close for a second at the affection and I swear I could scream from the butterflies in my tummy.

Harry kisses the tip of my nose just as he drags both my sweater vest and shirt up my body. I lift my arms to help, left in only my bra as he discards my clothes somewhere. Eyes locked with mine, his fingers drag down my sides slowly in a way that has a shiver going down my spine.

When he does let his eyes wander, I don’t feel a hint of uncertainty or insecurity. All because of what Harry says under his breath; “Jesus fuck, you’ll be the death of me.”

“Maybe I should cover up then.”, I sing song, pretending like I’m about to go looking for my shirt again. But Harry is having none of that, gripping my hips and planting me right back down in his lap. “Fuck no.”, he says, guiding my hips to grind against his again, “I’d drop dead right now as long as I got to feel you.”

My breath quickens with the stimulation I’m getting from the way he drags my core against his solid erection. “it’s not really fair that I’m the only one topless, now, is it?”

The faintest smirk spreads on his face when I undo the two buttons on his cardigan, the simple white t-shirt he is wearing underneath revealing itself as he shrugs the cardigan off, throwing it over his shoulder. And God does that t-shirt look good on him.

It hugs him in all the right places, tight around his biceps and just sheer enough to be able to see the silhouettes of his tattoos through it.

Harry lets me take my time admiring him with his t-shirt on before I decide it’s time to rid him of that too, lifting his arms to help me get it off. “You feel better now?”, he asks with a laugh.

I just nod, unable to take my eyes off the artwork that is his body. It doesn’t matter that I’ve seen him before. His soft, golden skin stretches across his toned, defined muscles. Dark ink decorates his skin so perfectly. Soft hairs scattered over his broad chest so deliciously. The ferns tattoos that are partly hidden by his jeans have my mouth watering. Every dip and curve of his body is perfection and I have the urge to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming.

I don’t realise that I’ve just been frozen, staring at him until I feel Harry pinch my side lightly, amusement evident in his voice, “Are you ok, baby?”

“Mhm.”, I hum, sliding my hand tantalisingly down the front of his body, his stomach sucking in with the sharp breath he takes. “Wanna know what would make it even better?”

“What?”

Harry swallows hard when I dip my finger just underneath the waistband of his jeans, leaning forward so the side of my face is aligned with his, his hands tightening on my hips when I tilt my head, lightly kissing and nipping at his earlobe.

“Your cock down my throat.”, I whisper in his ear as if I was telling him my darkest secret, gracing my fingertips over the bulge in his jeans.

He drops his forehead to my shoulder with a groan sounding so wound up I can’t help but laugh, earning myself a smack on the ass. “It’s not funny.”, Harry grumbles.

“Do you want to whine about that, or do you want me to give you head?”, I ask after placing a kiss on the top of his head.

It’s almost comical how fast he straightens up, his eyes darting between mine. “Please.”

Shocked at how fast he got to the state of saying, please, I still decide to not make it too easy on him. “Please what?”, I ask as I start leaving open-mouthed, hot kisses down his jaw, latching onto the sensitive spot just below his jaw while palming him through his jeans.

Harry tilts his head, his chest rising faster than before. “Please touch me.”

“Now that wasn’t, so hard, was it?” I pull away from his neck with a pleased smirk on my face, I brush the pad of my thumb across his bottom lip, nearly losing my composure when Harry wraps his lips around my finger, holding it in place with his teeth as he sucks on it.

But I regain it fast enough, patting his cheek when he releases my thumb with a pop. I can tell that he has something to say, but he bites his tongue. Probably so I will give him what he needs. Which is exactly what I’m gonna do.

Sliding off his lap and settling myself on my knees between his spread thighs. I leave a trail of wet, open-mouthed kisses all the way from the base of his throat to the fern tattoos that lead right where he needs me the most.

Glancing up at him, the look on his face gives me a large confidence boost. Swollen, red lips and his delicate features hardened with lust and impatience. The way his chin is tucked against his chest, his eyes locked on me as if he would doesn’t want to miss a single move I make. His breath falters when I begin unbuckling his belt, licking his lips in anticipation.

If it weren’t for the fact that I don’t have a shred of patience left in my body, I would’ve dragged this out much longer.

Harry lifts his hips to help me get off both his jeans and his underwear in one go, his body sagging with relief once he springs free. I scoot a little bit away to allow him to kick them and his socks off his feet before I shuffle back, sitting on the back of my heels.

And God does he look heavenly. Love bites are already starting to form in the path I took down his body. His hair a mess and his bottom lip tucked under his teeth. His cock is resting against his stomach. Fully hard, almost to the point where it looks painful.

My mouth waters at the sight of him.

I look back up at him, about to open my mouth. But he seems to have read my mind, “Just touch me? I’m dying. Please.”

He doesn’t have to ask twice.

I spit in my hand before I wrap it around him, using my spit as lubrication as I teasingly pump his solid length. The second I touch him his abdominal muscles tense and his hands curl into fists. It’s when I twist my hand around the head of his cock that his mouth parts, “Fuck that feels good.”

Without stopping what I’m doing with my hand, I kiss the soft skin of his inner thighs, the muscles tensing in response when I leave a love bite on the sensitive skin. Harry tucks my hair behind my ear, directing my attention back to his face where he’s got a dazed look in his eyes.

Like I did to him, he traces my lips with his fingers, eyes hooded as he twitches in my hand.

Leaning forward, I take his tip into my mouth, giving it a gentle suck after tracing the prominent vein with my tongue. Harry moans a praise when I take more of him into my mouth, hollowing out my cheeks as I work the head of his cock with my mouth and tongue.

Pulling back momentarily, I gather my spit in the front of my mouth before I let it drop the short distance. He hisses as the glob of saliva makes contact with his sensitive tip before we both watch it drip down the side of his length, leaving a shiny trail in its wake.

“You’re gonna be the fucking death of me.”, Harry breathes out when I take him in my mouth again, this time going further. I hum, the vibrations from it have his jaw going slack as his muscles tense. His hands pull my hair out of my face, gathering it in a ponytail as I bob my head up and down his dick. I use my hand to jerk off what I don’t have in my mouth, his velvety skin wet with my spit.

When Harry’s hips start to thrust up to meet my mouth on their own accord, the broken moans spilling from him, I take a second to prepare myself before I take him all the way, my eyes watering as he curves down my throat and my nose brushes against his pelvis. “Oh, fuck.”, he curses, fingers tightening in my hair making me whine at the sting. “That’s it. Such a good girl, oh my god.”

I let him take the lead, moving my head with the grip on my hair to meet his thrusts as he fucks my mouth just how he wants. The head of his cock hits the back of my throat each time, spit dribbling down my chin.

Looking up at him through my lashes. I would happily die like this if it meant I’d go out being the reason for his pleasure.

The sweat glistening and reflecting the light has him looking otherworldly. His face and neck are flush with colour. Ragged breaths, whimpers and moans escape his strained throat as he gets closer and closer to reaching his orgasm.

Locking eyes with him, the corners of his lips quirk up in a blissed-out smile that’s quickly wiped off when I swallow around him, his head falling back and his abs quiver. “I’m gonna cum. Fuck. If you don’t want-”

I cut off his warning, bobbing my head without his prompt to tell him that I want him to. After that, it doesn’t take long for him to reach his climax.

And when he does, it’s with a shout of my name on his tongue.

His thighs and abdominal muscles shake, moans and whimpers spilling from him like I’ve never heard before. Spurts of hot, salty cum shoot from his dick and I swallow everything, helping him through his high.

Harry is panting slightly when he comes down, eyes still hazy. “You feeling ok, baby?”, I check as I get off my now sore knees and sit down next to him, body facing his.

“I’m fucking great.” A lazy grin graces his beautiful face. His kind, eyes twinkle as they meet mine. “You’re bloody amazing. You know that?”

I raise an eyebrow but can’t help but match his smile, “Am I amazing or are you just in another world right now?”

“Why can’t it be both?”, he shrugs, laying a kiss on my bare shoulder.

Giggling, I press my lips to the top of his head, “You’re something else, aren’t you?”

“You say that as if it’s a bad thing.”, Harry pouts as he looks up at me, his face still holding an ethereal glow that has me wanting to smother every inch of it in kisses and affection.

I twirl a longer strand of his hair around my finger before tucking it behind his hair. “It’s quite the opposite. I love that you’re yourself so unapologetically.”

When I notice Harry’s eyes gloss over momentarily, I worry that I said something wrong. But before I get to ask what’s wrong, he grabs my face in his hands and kisses me. Long and hard, his nose squishing against my cheek before he pulls away momentarily. He then moulds our lips together softly one, two three times. So tenderly and delicately I almost can’t bear it.

Brushing his nose with mine, Harry whispers against my lips, “I wanna make you feel good.” If my heart wasn’t beating fast before, it definitely is now.

“Will you let me?” He kisses the corner of my mouth and I feel his hand move to my thigh. His other hand hovers just over the clasp of my bra as he makes his mouth busy kissing down my jaw.

“Yes, please.”, I say, nodding feverishly not even caring how desperate I probably sound.

He laughs fondly, pressing a kiss to my nose as he undoes my bra with expertise. “Tell me what you want, and you’ve got it, my eager girl.”

Trailing my finger up his back, I bite my lip to keep my smile at bay. “Anything?”

Harry carelessly throws my bra to the side, placing a kiss between my breasts. “Anything.” Hand creeping further up my thigh, my legs spreading on their own. “Do you want my hands?”

“Yes.” If he doesn’t touch me soon, I feel like I might die from the burning ache between my legs. And it only gets worse and better all at the same time when he wraps his lips around my sensitive nipple, his warm, wet tongue flicking over it. I can’t help but throw my head back with a whine.

Snaking his hand from my back, gracing the underside of my boob. It has my spine curving, chest pushed out further and Harry hums, seeming pleased with my reaction. He switches to suck on my other nipple, leaving a trail of affection between the two.

The attention to my breasts only has the need to feel himself somewhere else growing by the second.

And does he fucking know it.

Harry looks up at me, his eyes narrowing as he smiles at me in satisfaction. “Do you want my mouth?”, he asks, batting his eyelashes at me as if he were innocent. He is anything but. “Maybe both?”

Cupping his face, I say in the most serious tone I can muster at the moment; “If you don’t stop teasing, I’m gonna fucking do it myself.”

“Oh well, then.”, Harry chuckles, getting down on his knees before me, undoing my jeans before tapping my hips. “Let’s take these off, shall we?” Not wasting a moment, I lift my hips as I help him wiggle them off along with my panties, leaving me fully naked and exposed.

“So fucking beautiful.” Harry drags his eyes over my body, seeming to take in every curve and dip like he’s admiring his favourite view. The crushing vulnerability and lack of uncertainty he seems to instil in me in moments like these can only be described as intoxicating. Leaving me with a mind centred around him and him alone.

Gentle touches and kisses that are meant to be of adoration, but they have the pit of desire and arousal in my stomach near unbearable.

Wrapping his arms around the backs of my thighs, Harry drapes my legs over his shoulders, making my body slide further down on the sofa. I can feel his breath fanning over my soaked cunt and it’s sending shivers down my spine.

Catching his eye, Harry maintains eye contact as he drags his tongue through my folds, painfully slow. The vibration of his hum has my breath caught in my throat as I lace my fingers through his locks.

When he teasingly licks at my clit, a whine leaves my lips. A whine that turns into a moan when he suddenly sucks the bundle of nerves into his warm mouth, caressing it with his tongue at the same time.

The way he is alternating between licks and kisses that are barely there and the eye-crossing, powerful motions has reduced me to a panting, moaning mess before I even know it. My skin feels like it’s on fire, sweat making my hair stick to the side of my face and neck. Sounds of pleasure come out with no care.

It’s like the rest of the world has faded away and I’m hyperaware of every touch from Harry.

His strong, muscled arms wrapped around my thighs. The way they squeeze around my upper thigh. One hand on my thigh and the other on my hip. How warm his palms are and the way the hand on my hip is inching closer and closer to my pussy where he is eating me out like he’s a starving man. The slight stubble on his face brings that slight sting along with the little nibbles from his teeth that only make that feeling of ecstasy grow stronger and more powerful.

Deep moans and hums against my nerves that have me throwing my head back, my own fingers pulling his soft, damp curls tighter. That same head of hair brushes against the skin of my inner thighs.

Mindless praises fly from my mouth, messy and intelligible. Not that he seems to mind. With each choked word of encouragement, he gets just a little bit more eager.

I force myself to peel my eyes open, needing to see him.

There is something about taking in the man on his knees between my legs. So attentive to my reaction to everything he does. His pinkie finger barely brushes the fleshy skin of my hip and he doesn’t seem like he would rather be anywhere in the world but right where he is. And even though he is literally eating me out like a thirsting man, I realise it’s not close enough.

I can’t keep the tears from falling when I do from the pleasure and the surge of emotions that has a pathetic sob erupting from my chest. The second he hears it, his eyes fly open, and he stops immediately.

Concern laces his features as he takes in the tears rolling down my cheeks. “Darling, what’s wrong?” He lets go of my thighs, both sliding off his broad shoulders as he shuffles to get up from his knees.

The intense, overwhelming fire of pleasure fizzles out but I can’t even find it in me to care. All I want is him as close as humanly possible.

“Need you.”, is all I manage to croak out, nuzzling into his hand when he cradles my face. Harry swipes my tears away with the pads of his thumbs, only for more to fall as he tilts his head in confusion. “I’m right here, baby.”

Taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself down, I press a quick kiss to the inside of his wrist, my hand wrapped around his forearm to keep his just where they are. The smell of his skin filtering through my nostrils soothes me as his voice does. Enough to take a deep breath and allow my heart to slow down.

“I need you inside of me.”

“Oh.”, his mouth forms into a small o-shape before it morphs into a smile that matches the crinkles by his eyes. “Are you sure?”

I nod fervently, mirroring his grin.

“What my girl wants, she gets.” Harry pecks my lips, my eyes fluttering close as I hum against his lips, elongating the kiss with a hand switching to the back of his neck to keep him in place as I trace his bottom lip with my tongue.

The taste of myself on his lips makes my stomach twist in desire and need, gripping his hair tighter when Harry suddenly manoeuvres me around so my back hits the cushion of the sofa and my head falls into the throw pillows stacked at the corner. His lips are quick to find mine again, moulding together in lust and passion. His hips drop against mine and I cross my ankles against the back of his thighs. My left thigh is slightly squeezed between his body and the back of the sofa.

I gasp at the shock of pleasure that goes through my system when he shifts his hips, his rock-solid cock rubbing against my sensitive folds, no doubt soaked by my arousal. Needing to feel feeling again, I buck my hips up against his, jaw dropping when Harry meets my movement with a whine against my mouth.

“Baby, please.”, I beg again. It almost hurts to be so close to where I need to be but still not quite there.

With one last kiss to my lips, Harry shifts all his weight to his right elbow tilting his body to the side as he positions the head of his cock right at my entrance. “You ready?”, he asks, searching my eyes for any sign that I’m not.

The second he has the ok to, he pushes in slowly, eyes locked on my face the entire time as mine threaten to close. “Oh my- Fuck.”, I pant.

The overwhelming stretch of him followed by the pleasure that only grows the further he sinks inside me is a feeling I am never going to get tired of. Neither is the look of concentration and bliss etched on Harry’s face. His pretty lips parts with a soft moan as his eyebrows pinches together.

This is what I needed. To be as close to him as physically possible. My hot and sweaty skin ismflush against his. The way his grip on my thigh gets harder momentarily when I clench around him unintentionally. Our noses nearly touch from how close our faces are. Every single one of my senses centred around him.

Once he’s all the way in, tip nudged against my g-spot deliciously, his now glossy eyes dart between mine. I can practically see the wheels churning in his head as he lands on the words he utters so quietly it’s as if he’s telling me something sacred and just for us. “Missed you so much.”

My throat tightens with emotion, and I can once again feel my waterline overflow with salty tears as I tuck my bottom lip into my mouth. “I missed you too.”

I really, really did. But I don’t want to think about that right now.

He seems to catch on because instead of saying anything else, he draws his hips back until just the tip of him is left before he pushes in to the hilt again. He puts more and more force behind each thrust every time until he finds the one that has me clutching onto his shoulders, nails no doubt digging into his warm skin.

Moans fall freely from my lips as my eyes fall shut. Harry drops his forehead to mine when I move my hips to meet his. “Fuck me. You’re doing so fucking good for me.”, he pants.

Before long, I’m right back at the point I was before. A ball of tightknit pleasure in the pit of my stomach that makes my body tingle in anticipation. The wet sounds of mine and Harry’s arousal mixed with skin slapping against skin are filthy and only push me closer and closer to my high.

I can feel myself clenching and unclenching around Harry’s cock as he keeps his thrusts the same steady pace.

He connects his lips with mine again although neither of us can concentrate on keeping it anything but messy. One particularly well-angled thrust has my jaw nearly dropping to my chest and my eyebrows scrunching together in pleasure as it hits my g-spot perfectly.

“Right there.”, I gasp, burying the back of my head further into the pillows, tears leaking from the corners of my eyes and down the sides of my face. “I’m so fucking close.”

Harry keeps his thrusts exactly the same, murmuring praises and encouraging words in my ear. The warm air from his breath fans across my neck and when he latches onto the damp skin, suctioning it hard before he glides his tongue over it, it’s the final push I need before I’m finishing.

My eyes roll into the back of my head as ecstasy rushes through every nerve ending in my body. My heartbeat is pounding in my ears as I feel myself hold onto Harry like my life depends on it. And he doesn’t stop either.

He keeps working me through my high with increasingly sloppy strokes of his hips. His name is like a never-ending prayer as I finish out my trip to heaven. The sound of Harry’s moans like a distant symphony of angels.

At last, coming down from my climax, I’m having a weird sense of Deja-vu.

Weighed down entirely by Harry’s body like a big, warm blanket of safety and home. His arms are wrapped fully around my torso. His face tucked into the crook of my neck, hair sticking to our sweaty temples. A serene silence surrounds us and reflects in my own mind. Our hearts aligned both physically and metaphorically.

We’re in our own little bubble of post-orgasmic bliss and comfort.

Every so gently, I trace the shapes and dips of his back and shoulders with the tip of my fingers. Keeping my eyes closed I try to memorize this exact feeling. Mentally filling up bottle after bottle after bottle with it.

The delicate pucker of lips against the crook of my neck has my heart doing somersaults in my chest and a lazy grin spreading on my face.

“He’s alive.”, I whisper. “It’s a miracle.”

Soft melodic laughter reaches my ears shortly after I feel him laughing on top of me. Another kiss.

“Since when was I dead?” His voice is muffled but I can still understand him perfectly.

My hand drifts to the back of his neck, twirling his hair around my fingers. “One starts to wonder when you’re laying like the dead.”

Removing himself from my neck, he cranes his neck, making me tuck my chin down to look at his face.

Why does he look so good?

“You’re comfy and warm.”, he says matter-of-factly. Hair messy on his head and his face still has a flush of colour to it.

The instant pout his face adopts when I lightly pinch the flesh of his side is one I wish to frame and keep in my wallet. “Could say the same thing for you too.”

“Good.”, he smiles, seeming satisfied with my answer. He stuffs his face right back where it was, wiggling to get comfortable again.

The wiggle reminds me that he is still tucked inside of me, and I almost feel bad for what I’m about to do with how content Harry seems to just stay like this. “H, we gotta get up.” “Or we could just stay here.”, Harry hums, not moving a muscle.

“We’re gonna ruin my sofa if we do that.”, I explain, waiting patiently for him to connect the dots in that beautiful mind of his.

And when he does, he sighs. “I’m so tired.”

“We can take a bath, yeah?”, I suggest when he reluctantly lifts his head again, brushing back the hair that’s fallen over his forehead with my fingers. “Get all nice and clean. And if you want you can stay over?”

“That sounds nice.” He really does look tired.

Smiling softly, I place a short peck just where the faint shadow if his dimple is. “I’ll get it ready and you just relax, ok?”

“Yes ma’am.”, he grins, before pecking my cheek three times.

Unsticking his body from mine slowly but surely, he says sorry when as pulls out, kissing my shoulder apologetically at the same time. The sensitivity has me hissing through gritted teeth, but the second he’s out, I miss the feeling of being full of him.

Stupid, comfy sofa.

“I’ll be right back.”, I promise as he plops down on the sofa, pecking his cheek as I find both mine and his underwear on the floor where we discarded them earlier. Sliding my panties back on, I take the route behind the sofa on my way to the kitchen, dropping his next to him as I do.

I can feel his tired eyes on me as I shuffle around the kitchen, grabbing a large glass and filling it with water. I take a few sips of the cold, refreshing liquid before handing it to Harry.

He takes it with a grateful smile, “Thank you, baby.”

“You sure it tastes bad?”, Harry questions for the fourth time, the now lukewarm water splashing as he sticks his knee out of the water again. Shaking my head, I momentarily stop kneading his shoulders. “It’s soap, darling. Of course, it tastes bad.”

The top of his back is almost dry now from how long it’s been up from the water. A few droplets here and there drip from his hair down the nape of his neck before trailing down his strong back and into the water.

Why he is so insistent on knowing what my ‘fruit bowl’ body wash tastes like? I have no idea. But can’t say it isn’t nice to get this side of him again though.

Between the small talk we’ve made about everything and nothing and the body wash questions, my mind keeps drifting off to how only hours ago I thought I wouldn’t see any side of him again. Lavender oil and bath salts sadly aren’t a cure for worries and negative thoughts.

Worry that even though he said he regrets it, he is going to disappear again. That he’ll get spooked and be gone for good. It feels like right now is too good to be true.

It’s too good with him to be true.

I do believe that he meant it when he said that he likes me. I believe his reasoning for what happened. But I still can’t help the anxious pit in my stomach that he’ll be gone in the morning again like before. But I don’t want to drag down his good, relaxed mood and make it all serious and tense again.

For the time being I’m going to bask in the sunlight that is Harry. Regardless of the clouds thundering around inside my head.

I’m brought back to reality when Harry twists his upper body, the water splashing in small waves as he does. “It’s getting a bit cold.”

“It is.”, I agree. I honestly have no concept of just how long we’ve been submerged in water and lavender together. Harry makes it feel like time goes so fast while stopping at a standstill all at once.

But judging by the serious case of raisin hands we’re both sporting and the fact that I was half asleep at one point, I would say we’ve been here for long enough.

We rinse off in the shower wrapped up in each other’s arms while the bathtub drains. I have to physically take the fruit-scented body wash bottle from his hands as he kept saying he was going to squirt some in his mouth and swallow it.

We stand side by side, now wrapped in towels. Mine knotted over my chest and around my hair. His are low on his hips. Although he doesn’t really need it, he still chose to wrap his hair up in a towel claiming that I shouldn’t shame short-haired people when I asked him why he did it.

Harry looks how I feel right now. Like he could fall asleep standing upright.

Meeting his eyes in our reflection, I lean my tired body against his, smiling through my toothpaste when he slings his arm around my shoulders. “You feelin sleepy, Ambs?”

I nod, finishing up with my teeth so I can spit the toothpaste into the sink. After rolling water around in my mouth to rinse it out, I step aside to let harry do the same thing. He shouldn’t be able to make something so simple as rinsing the toothpaste out of his mouth look good.

An uncontainable, sleepy smile creeps up my face when he leans over me to reach the jar of moisturiser by the mirror. Something about how he unscrews the lid and scoops some out then applies it to his slightly tan face makes me all warm in my heart.

I didn’t realise I was just blankly staring at the side of his face until he suddenly twists his head, a shit-eating grin on his shiny face as he smears something chilly and moist across my forehead with the pad of his thumb. Humour and laughter in his tone as he says; “Simba.”

It takes me a few seconds to connect the dots. When I do, my head falls back in laughter.

“You fucking idiot.”, I shove at his chest, not even making Harry budge. My stomach is still tight with giggles and I know that my cheeks are making me look like a chipmunk from how wide my smile is.

Unphased by my insincere insult, Harry drags the product from my forehead down the bridge of my nose and across my cheeks with one finger before he switches to using both of his hands to massage the familiarly scented moisturiser into my skin. I let my eyes fall shut and enjoy the relaxing motions of his fingers, a blush spreading on my cheeks when he traces my lips. A whisper of “beautiful” reaches my ear as he does.

He is going to give me heart palpitations if he keeps going like this.

“What time do you think it is?”, I ask when I open my eyes, my heart beating a little bit faster when I catch his intense, moss-green eyes.

With his hands still holding my face, Harry kisses my forehead, making my heart skip a beat again before he says; “I think it’s time for us to go to bed.”

Nodding, I let my hands find his hips, smoothing my fingers over the supple skin. “I still have the clothes you left.”, I tell him, watching as his face softens entirely. “Oh. And you also left your guitar.”

“Surprised you didn’t burn them.”, Harry teases, his cheeks gaining a pink tint.

I shrug my shoulders. “If I burnt it, I couldn’t get rich selling everything on eBay, now could I?”

“is that all I am to you now, hm?”, he raises an eyebrow in question. “A way to make some easy money off my fans?” I can tell by the playful glint in his eye that he knows I’m not serious and is playing along.

Truth is that even if I never saw him again, I would probably keep the articles of clothing to myself to serve as a reminder that it was all real and not just a figment of my own imagination.

At least that’s what they’ve been over the past three weeks.

“I have a jar of your hair hidden in my closet.”, I add, relishing in the sunny glint in his eyes shining just as brightly as his smile. Harry shakes his head with a hearty laugh as he brushes up the tip of my nose with his finger. “Let’s get to bed, yeah?”

Agreeing, we make our way to the bedroom where I hand Harry the bag of his stuff that he’s left behind previously, landing a sweet kiss on his shoulder before I shuffle over to my closet.

Once I’ve slid a fresh pair of underwear up my legs, I grab the white beastie boys t-shirt I may or may not have adopted as my sleep shirt lately and pull it over my head. The fabric is soft and cool against my skin, ending just below my butt.

“Ok, I see how it is.”, I hear from behind me just before I feel a pair of arms snake around my waist from behind.

Leaning into the warmth of his body, my back against his front, I place my arms on top of his. “And how is that?” Harry hums in my ear, swaying us from side to side slowly and I can feel his heartbeat through the thin layer of cotton separating us.

“You give me grief about stealing your cardigan. Yet here you are in my clothes. Wanna explain that to me?”

“Are you sure you want me to?”, I ask, turning around in his arms. I loop mine around his neck, curving my spine so I can look at him. The half-smirk tugging at the left corner of his mouth has butterflies swarming my tummy.

When he nods confidently, I do just that. “Because it reminds me of you. And I realised I liked that. So why wouldn’t I wear it?”

Even in the dim lighting shining in from the hallway, I can see his cheeks turning a shade darker before moves his head closer. I can feel his breath against the shell of my ear as he speaks, “Can I tell you a secret?”

His voice is low and deep, so so close, and all I can do is nod my head once. My heart is beating hard against my ribs and I’m very aware of how his hands are locked at my lower back.

“I like it better on you.”

-

I really hope you guys liked this!!

if you did please do leave a comment, like or reblog. And feel free to let me know if there is something you want me to write.

[ddejavvu]

spilling hot wax on anakin.

this post is 18+, minors dni.

yeah.

there's not much the guy isn't into - pretty much as long as it's coming from you, he'll like it. you actually probably didn't mean to do it at first, or he didn't directly ask for it, but you were blowing out a candle and accidentally blew some of the wax onto his arm right beside the jar, and you're apologizing profusely while his eyes are dilating and his dick is stiffening in his pants. he's like don't apologize. melt that whole thing down right now and pour it on me.

he prefers when you use white candles, because when the wax melts down and you drip it over him, it looks like cum <3 and there's just something about the thought of you splattering him with cum like he so often does to you, whether it be his face/chest/thighs- it almost too much for the guy to handle. he's so filthy, honestly he'd probably cum all over his own stomach and it would pool with the wax and he'd get the sickest satisfaction from it - like instantly he's rock hard again seeing his cum mix with the wax and drip all over his skin.

it makes him feel dirty, tainted, filthy to have wax dripped all over him, like it's staining his skin and clinging to him obscenely. especially if he is envisioning it as your cum; then it's like he's just some fucktoy laid out and tied up for you to dump your cum onto. it makes his dick hard to be dirty for you, it makes his dick hard when you dirty him.

he loves seeing the red marks left over from the burn. of course it's never a severe burn, but there's always patches of his skin that are blotchy and red and they sting when you touch them. they're like territorial markings to him; you're his and he's yours. you did that to him, you burned yourself into his skin, you branded him with hot wax and he'll belong to you forever. he'll chant that into your ear as he cums, that he'll belong to you forever and that he's all yours. whether you ride him or he's fucking you on all fours or you're in missionary, it doesn't matter, he's going to spew all of his devotions against your ear - he's probably gonna lick/bite your ear all hot and heavy while he's doing it too just for good measure

he likes watching the wax drip down his skin and harden in stiff droplets, loves watching how concentrated you get when you pour it over him, loves being your dirty little canvas. and it definitely doesn't hurt that he's into pain, too, loves it when his thighs are on fire 'cause you're dripping wax on them and his dick is on fire because you're dripping wax on them.

he likes being tied up when you're doing it so that he can't move. we all know he could, he's so powerful that he could rip through the bindings without even bothering with the Force, but he'll writhe and squirm and pant while you pour hot wax all over him like he's helpless and can't go anywhere

having hot wax dripped on him makes him needy. it's arousing, but it's usually not arousing enough to make him cum untouched. he needs you to fuck him after, or suck him off, or at the very least jack him off, because he's on fire and his dick is so hard it's hurting his head and he wants to cum all over your hand or face or pump you full of it. of course he wants sex, he wants to fuck you or for you to fuck him, but there's something insanely hot about you denying him that, and jacking/sucking him off instead. like you can't even be bothered to really have sex with him, all you can grant him is a sloppy bj. it's more of that desperate feeling i mentioned in this post: he likes being treated like he's pathetic and desperate and needy for you because he is pathetic and needy and desperate for you. he gets off on needing you. he likes feeling like it's an inconvenience for you to even glance his way, like he's below you, and he'll thank you profusely if you're gracious enough to let him fuck your fist after you're done pouring hot wax all over him.

cw for impact play; don't read further if it's going to bother you

he also really likes it when you slap him with it; i'll explain. you'd dipped your finger in it once to draw on his chest and leave some of those red marks against his pretty golden skin that get him so worked up. and it was hard because the wax dried pretty quick, so you had to get your finger to his chest in practically under a second if you wanted to actually draw it over him and not just have a hardened, wax-covered finger. This led to you jamming your finger into his chest pretty hard, and anakin is no stranger to impact play.

instantly he knew he wanted you to slap him with it. it's even harder to keep wax hot/wet over your entire hand, but it just means you have to really put some power behind your palm as you slam it down onto his chest. even if it's already half-hardened it's still gooey when it smears against his skin, and the heat doesn't matter as much anymore when you're hitting him with it; it's the pain and the residue that matters.

He wants you to smack him in the face, too, and leave a warm white handprint there that dries and cracks against his skin. it's about seeing your milky white handprints all over him, especially if you drip it onto his thighs and smear it around with your hands.

he likes it especially because you're both being burnt. Your palm is equally as pained as his cheek, and something about being burnt together and burning each other is so hot to him for some reason. molten hot sex appeal.

he begs you to hit the stinging, red marks left by the wax. he wants you to slap him around, slam the palm of your hand against the blotchy red patch against his pec as he writhes and cries out at the pain. he wants you to scrape your nails along the burn on his cheek and leave scorching scratch marks there before you dip your tongue into his mouth and drink up his pained whimpers

[haunted4kent]

" shred it . " t . todoroki

✧˚ · . 𝑺𝑼𝑴𝑴𝑨𝑹𝒀 ; hit it bitch !

a/n ; i feel like touya is such a bass player but i so fuck with the idea of him being the nonchalant drummer.. that title belongs to katsuki tho so.. the electric guitar is my favorite instrument so here's this babes

this isnt proof read nd its short please don't burn me at the stake

it was the last show of the tour. rumors were high and tension captivated the air.

the atmosphere was wild like summer, but the cold sweat the cool air created over your skin was numbing. the sting of your fingers was addicting, each press and strike coursing through you. sweat that trickled down your forehead was the sweet substance meant for a vampire, and he stood across the stage eyeing you like you were dripping in it. his sly smirk and gestures, the sudden bursts of energy he puts into a performance all to mock you after the show. “you know i do it more every show, you're gonna have to catch up princess.” that was your bass guitar and you were his electric guitarist. so similar in so many ways.

you were one of the crowd's favorite parts of the show, always having eyeshadow smeared, hair a mess. it's the stage presence you were, you are never disappointing. the crowd's most awaited moment of the bands biggest hit, a solo piece of sharp electric rings throughout the arena. It was the part that made the crowd go wild. sinking to your knees as your fingers shred at the steel strings, and the performance you'd put up with the bassist speculated rumors like no other. he comes up behind you, playing a deep melodramatic piece straight after you strike your hand across the final notes of your piece. 

picking yourself up from your knees in one swift motion, his body inches into yours, his focus deep into his fingers moving over the strings of his instrument. the stage lights rapidly skimming over him and you, shadowing your bodies as your notes come into play again. lifting your guitar vertically, starting back up, and fading into his piece.

he releases an arm and you turn on your heels, falling into that grasp and continuing to play. did the big closing act raise rumors further each show? yeah, but you were known for it, may as well go out with a bang. the light rings of vibrating current coming slowly out of your instrument to finish the song. you played it with such accuracy even when your head was thrown back, trusting your fingers to know where they belong. his forehead presses to yours, “they're going crazy for you. you're killing it, and me.”

© haunted4kent 2024.

[jacks347]

I MISSED THE NEW BVZ PREMIERE (THANKS JOB)

So now y'all get my live reaction! (I've never done one of these before, this is gonna be fun)

SPOILERS AHEAD IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED IT

Intro is great as always, I love this song so much

Here we go~

WHO?? WHAT??

OFF TO A STRONG START

"Lack of cooperation" My guy it's Albus, that's literally his entire thing

On your family?? YOU LEAVE FAITH OUT OF THIS (and Kerano and Devlin)

OH??

HI DEVLIN WHAT

That design is so good, Glowbat you wonder

Plot twist #1, I expect many more

We're not even 5 minutes in, this post is going to be a fucking Bible-

Does Devlin have freckles?? Did he always have freckles?? Beautiful

Oh Devlin got sassy during the break I like :P

Of course he calls for his brother, the strongest person he knows how sweet <3

Miracle of faith, in more ways than one

Oo, that sounds painful

~DINNER BREAK~

ALBUS! LANGUAGE!

Ooo scary protective Albus

"My brothers. My battalion." Oh-

Aaaaand there's the Albus we know and love XD

"Fuck you and your hat!" Pfft you leave Devlin's fedora alone XD

Oh, back to our regularly scheduled program

Waiter I'm afraid you got some capitalism in my cowboy fantasy

GIMME CROSSBOW I WANT A CROSSBOW

I don't even think Albus knows where Albus went, he just heard his brother calling and left

Ewwwww TMI Albus

LIGHTSABER?? WHO LET ALBUS PICK UP A LIGHTSABER

Oo who's at the door? And why do I not trust it-

Oh it's just Devlin-

Uh oh, Albus has to explain his family~

Hi Mahatma! I still don't entirely trust you!

Why am I playing organizing Tetris-

...oops

"Can I ask you something?" I mean you just did so-

"Do you ever feel...powerless?" Well ain't this a pleasant conversation

"Like you can't save the people you care about" WELL AIN'T THIS A PLEASANT CONVERSATION

Look at Hipswitch showing off his detective skills! I'm so proud

Oh? What's on that ship??

Oh god not more new characters-

The mafia's back that's not good-

Why is the mafia fighting the Triad I'M SCARED

THE MAFIA SHOT DOWN THE PALADIN SHIPS?? WHY?? I DON'T LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING

Another point to the man that can't even fuckin read that he's just a tad bit stupid :P

Boys, boys! You're both pretty stop yelling XD

"Interesting" is certainly a word for it Doc, wait until you hear about the woman they're both in love with-

"Caused any distress" ...do you hear yourself Devlin?

...awkward silence...

Paladins of Cindergorn eh? Looks like we are gonna learn about Faith today

Devlin being a smartypants, Hipswitch giving the most sass I've ever heard in a single sentence, this is great

Ewww I hated everything about that metaphor

"Something doesn't feel quite right" Of course it doesn't because nothing here is ever simple

WHY IS DEVLIN CHANGING COLORS??

"Is there anything else you can actually swallow?" ...Doc that is the wrong person to ask

"Oh...eugh" 10/10 Love that reaction XD

Poor Devlin, he spent enough time single-handedly running a ship-

When did Albus attempt to learn to cook?? And why??

"Don't worry about me" Faith's healer senses are tingling

"I saw you get goosebumps, did I scare you?" Honey considering how this story is going I don't think it was fear-

HIPSWITCH THIS IS NOT THE POSITION YOU WANT TO BE IN WHEN DEVLIN GETS BACK

Oh the secondhand embarrassment is crawling up my spine and it hasn't even happened yet

Please God get off of him before I explode-

And we're safe thank god

"You don't trust him at all, do you?" Would you if you were in my position?

This is really just the backstory episode isn't it

Albus, the hired gun where his last job got him killed, wasn't too keen on being a bounty hunter until he saw the paycheck. Okay that stings a little-

"I'm sure they're fine" *Cut to them being very not fine*

Devlin proudly proclaiming he can't read, 10/10 tension diffused

"We won't tell a soul, right partner?" Sir I couldn't even if I wanted to my mouth is literally just for decoration at this point (don't take that out of context-)

Destroy a sacred scripture surrounded by Paladins of Cindergorn, a certain priestess just felt her eye twitch

Yes Doc, show off that psychology degree you worked so hard for (hi I'm a psych student so it's also the degree *I'm* working so hard for)

"Is Devlin a father?" He's not just a stepdad, he's a dad who stepped up 💪 (that was so bad forgive me-)

Devlin...what did you do...

Okay I do not trust any of what just happened, what are you after Devlin?

Oh god the mafia's back

DOGS?? OH GOD PLEASE NO

NOT DOC!! ALBUS SOUNDS SO WORRIED

Show em what you're made of Albus

Don't talk to Albus like he doesn't know what being trained from birth to be someone's dog is like-

Devlin's going through it again, someone save the poor boy from his flashbacks

Y'know, Redacted being the one getting killed instead of doing the killing is rather cathartic in a bittersweet kind of way

Time to rewrite history! Again!

"What exactly can he do?" Great question, I'll tell you when I find out

Oh great, GB's back on his villain shit what piece of lore are we getting today

I don't trust that music, what's about to happen and is it a sand worm like this is Star Wars (we already had a lightsaber it wouldn't shock me)

I KNEW IT!! ASK ME HOW I KNEW GO ON ASK

WHO IS THE MAN IN THE MASK I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

"I have someone for this kind of thing" Yes go visit your wife and her special bandage technique :D

"Is it a hooker?" "No! It's not a hooker!" He sounded so offended for her, I love that

:O Let someone else fix you up?? And betray wife?? Wait no Wife is Gienne (hello GB Twitch chat :P)

Where's Faith I saw the cast list where is she

WHAT DO YOU WANT YOU BIRD NOSE FREAK

:D KERANO BABY

Oh that art is adorable

SHE CALLS HIM DAD MY HEART IS GONNA EXPLODE

Oop there's Faith-

And Kerano calls her Mom ughhhhh I'm not gonna make it y'all

"It's been x amount of time" Kerano I love you

"Death is too good for him" Yikes

"That's a relief!" "It is?" Pfft-

Faith went from furious to worried in 2 seconds hearing about Albus, that's our girl

"You didn't tell him about your father's death" HEH?? HONEY YOU DIDN'T TELL *ME* ABOUT HIS FATHER'S DEATH WTF I THOUGHT WE WERE IN THIS TOGETHER FAITH

Oh poor Devlin :(

"I miss him, Faith" Is that the first time we've ever heard Devlin call her by her name? Back in BW he always just called her Sister

Awww hug him for me Faith

Oh yeah, Faith is the only who can actually read-

"Something called Operation Sub Delta" ...what

Oh my god don't read it Faith please god don't read it

And she's reading it-

"You just want an excuse to see him again" Oh look, he's reading the thoughts of the fandom (YES WE WANT ALBUS TO SEE HIS WIFE AGAIN SO SUE US)

"I've actually met someone" EXCUSE ME?? DEVLIN YOU HOE WHO IS IT??

"Look at my choice in men" Ah so she realizes it XD

Come on Faith, connect the dots, I know you're smart enough

And she's done it

Who is Agent and what the hell is happening

Uh oh-

They have the files of the subjects that Devlin doesn't

Which means they can use Albus like their own weapon by probing his training like Kravatas did

Oh I really don't like where this is going

WHAT??

THAT'S THE END??

YOU CAN'T JUST END IT ON THAT WHAT THE HELL

Oh my god this series really loves throwing me for loops doesn't it

OKAY ENDING THOUGHTS

Absolute 100000/10 episode GB you madlad you've done it again

Was completely worth the wait, love seeing the whole cast together again including our new players!

The art is flawless, I expected nothing less of Glowbat

Keep doing what you do you mad genius GB, I'll be holding my breath for the next one (try not to kill me I can't do another 4 months-)