#they're gonna do that even if it stings to read

[leafostuff]

Blind sexDate[Ft. StayC's Isa & Fromis_9's Chaeyoung]

Tags: none, its a threesome

Word count: 6.5K

Author's: that...took a while, started to write this in 26th of August so i did take a very long time to finally have this out but here it is: my October upload

I really want to thank @prael @capslocked @octoberautumnbox and many others from the discord for helping me with stuff I wasn't sure about, i am really proud of that fic and i hope everyone else will enjoy reading it as much as i had fun writing it.

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She sounds pretty.

It's the lilt of her voice, how it does a cute thing where she almost, but not quite rolls her r's and chews on her consonants. A voice that sounds like it belongs to someone small. Someone, you know - conventionally attractive. 

Four minutes, fifty-five seconds. And that's pretty much all she has going for her.

"Let me tell you about my friend's vacation," she starts again, and you've lost track of if this is the same friend, same vacation - or a new one. They're all blending together.

you always thought the ‘blind’ was a figure of speech. it's fucking pitch black, you wonder if compared to the other guys you were underdressed,, you did see one guy with a blazer and jeans your paycheck couldn't even pay a quarter of it.

But back to the girl, her non stop ramble is now a background noise in your ears, not even sure you can recall who is the ex of who and which boyfriend cheated on her best friend with her sister. Your brain can't keep up.

but regardless, the first round is thankfully over, say your goodbyes to the first girl and stay in your chair.

you consider leaving right now to try and not get disappointed even more, however…

“Hey” The next girl is already here, it will be rude of you to leave just like that.

“Hi I am Jake” you respond

“Nice to meet you, my name is Chaeyoung, but you can just call me Isa” she responds. The first impression you gather is her voice, Airy and sweet like honey

“Huh, it's a pretty name, First time I ever heard a name like that ” you can hear a quiet giggle to your compliment.

“Thank you, I am actually from South Korea, I came here to LA for summer vacation”.

“That's cool, I actually live in LA myself” You lean back in your chair, getting comfortable around the mysterious girl.

“Oh wow” you could hear the excitement in her voice. “Do you have any places you can recommend to me?” she asked.

“Uhh…well, Here in Santa Monica Pier it's always fun for tourists too walk around here, I assume you have already been at the walk of fame in Hollywood and Universal studios” you answer. 

“I have to say though: this whole dating in the darkness is very fun, isn't it?” Fun is certainly one way to describe this, the other way is a gamble but for the sake of keeping the conversation fun you agree with her.

“Its like all of my other senses are much stronger, like some superhero…” Isa giggles, it's addictive that you can't help but join, with the sound of small shifts on her chair you can imagine how she is doing some battle poses.

“Hehe thats truuu-” quickly shut your mouth, that voice crack was the last thing you needed on a date but fortunately for you, Chaeyoung sounds a short laugh.

“Nervous?”

“hehe…Yeah, been a while since i was on a date” you explain, recalling your experiences with your failed relationships, it still stings a bit.

"Let's play a game then." There's some faint sounds of movement—a ruffling of clothes and the creak of a chair. She sounds clearer now, her voice doesn't have to carry as far and she's far more pronounced. 

"Help you relax a bit: What do you think I look like?” she asks, her tone is playful and happy as if she is the host of a game show, This second date goes better than you expected.

“Hmm…let me think…I am gonna guess that you have…black hair…is it long?” Your first answer is hesitant.

“Not telling~” she responds with a playful note. “How about my clothes?”

There is curiosity in her voice, excited to see how you will respond, you could hear her fingers tapping on the table, remembering to not waste time. “Well, you sound like a sweet girl, like the simple things in life, so…” you pause, trying to imagine her in many different styles and clothes that could fit her in the 5 or so minutes that you got to know her. 

Remember who is wasting who’s time so better lock in your answer now and say.

“My guess is… a summer dress?” quite the answer you give out, and the way you say it like you are one answer away from receiving the grand prize of Chaeyoung's game show, but back to her answer…

“You think it's something I will wear?” Isa questions, her tone sounds like she is also imagining herself wearing one.

“Yeah, it looks cute,” you respond. “And its not too crazy to wear on a first date” you add, hearing a small giggle after.

“Ok, i will keep it mind next time we meet”

“Will there be a next time?”

“I don't see why not”

You're happy, a bit surprised it didn't take you that much time to find someone in this speed blind dating thing, expecting more or less what happened the prior date but here you are.

“It's your turn to guess now?” You ask, already feeling comfortable around her.

“Ok ok, so i-”

But sadly as if life has decided to cockblock you, the time is over as an alarm can be heard as a signal to switch, you can only look at the general direction of where Chaeyoung could be and sigh, showing your disappointment.

“We can always meet later if you want” you can feel her wanting to continue her date with you but every good thing must come to an end

“Of course, it was very fun talking with you”

“Same to you as well” you can hear Isa lift herself from the chair. “See ya” she added in a happy tone before leaving you at the lone table. You can't help yourself but smile.

“Maybe it won't be as bad as i thought” 

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Time goes on and other girls come and go, however, you can't help but wonder more about Isa, what makes her laugh? What does she like to do on the weekends? what are her dreams, aspirations and everything in between, the curiosity killed you inside.

more importantly: you wonder what she looks like, outside of the darkness you were both in. If it wasn't clear enough: you are interested in her, they all say love at first sight doesn't exist but here you are, letting your mind fill with the idea of her.

You are set in stone of your choice, and there is no chance you will change yo-.

“uhm Hello? Are you there?”

Zoom out of your thoughts, focus on the husky, feminine voice coming from what seems to be in front of you. How long has she been sitting there? How long have you been daydreaming?? Thank god it's dark so quickly compose yourself before it can get awkward and start talking.

“Oh hi, im jake. Nice to meet you”

“Uhh, nice to meet you too,” she responds, it's not hard to hear the shakiness and in her voice showing her nervousness to you, the small shifting sounds in her chair. “I am Chaeyoung”.

You're caught off guard, the world is smaller than it seems with you meeting two girls Sharing the same name, “isn't that a Korean name?”

“Uh, yeah, how…how did you know?”.

“I actually met another girl named Chaeyoung before in here” you say, it would be funny if they actually knew each other but the chances are slim. It's not like you know every Jake either.

“Oh, that's cool…” she mumbled, sounding as if she was disappointed to hear it

The silence is now getting awkward, you both wait for the other one to start breaking more of the ice and it seems that she was the patient one between both of you since you are the first to give up and get the conversation going.

“So what do you do? For a living I mean” you are met with unintelligible mumbles as an answer, a bit unsure you ask her again to clarify.

“I…model, it's not super serious though” Chaeyoung quietly answered, you could hear light, quick taps beneath the table.

“Oh wow, I bet you are like, really pretty if you do modeling” you dont know how much confidence you got to say such a thing but you are already mentally face-palming yourself. You could feel yourself gaining some creep points in her mind over this comment.

“Oh, uhh Thank…thank you very much” Chaeyoung stutters, her tone jumps an Octave, sounding a small giggle. You can only sigh in relief that you didn't weird Chaeyoung out.

“I'm in LA for a photoshoot, since we finished earlier than expected i got a couple of days free to hang out around the city” she explains, still sounding nervous but much more at ease than before. “So what do you do for work, Jake?” She returns your question to you.

“Ah, I just work as a barista in a small café, nothing much.” you manage to say in a montone, unpleasant tone. You are a bit embarrassed that you have the chance to blind date a model while you are the equivalent of nothing compared to her

“It’s-It’s okay, i'm honestly not some super popular model” her words quickly come out of her mouth. “Besides, I can imagine being a barista is much more relaxing of a job, not trying to get every deal possible just not to lose money.”

“I mean, it doesn't pay much but it is less stressful,” you respond. You can hear two glasses of water placed on the wooden table with one of them handed to you, together with a straw since you could imagine how drinking from the cup would end like.

“So, what does a model like you” you stop, taking a small sip of the water to refresh yourself. -doing in blind speed dating?”

“It's just easier for me, usually when i go on dates I get nervous, and my eyes travel too much, and I kind of panic…” Chaeyoung explains, lightly giggling at her own experience before taking a sip from her water glass as well .“So I thought doing something like this could help me feel uhh you know… less stressed.”

“Hey, you do you, as long as you are comfortable.”

“Yeah, that's true,” Chaeyoung replied. Her voice turns less shaky and more clear than at the start of your date, it was clear that both of you had fun on that date.

So much so that in fact, you both were caught off guard by the timer for your date finishes and the lights suddenly turn up again, revealing the girl in front of you for the first time.

Right off the bat; you understand why Chaeyoung is a model.

A heart-shaped face and a delicate, soft jawline paired with brown, expressive eyes and Black shoulder-length silky hair that is enough to make every man look at her in awe, including you. Even her clothing is model-like with a Chic, stylish black off shoulder shirt and Denim jeans that show her features exceptionally well. By the way, you should say something before you will sound weird

“Oh, nice to meet you” stand up from your chair and raise your hand to a handshake.

“Nice to meet you too, i gotta say that i didn't see that coming at all” Chaeyoung cheerfully responded while shaking your hand, sounding a sincere chuckle while her eyes joined her wide smile.

“Same, i almost had a heart attack” you jokingly say while you get your jacket off your chair. “Say, wanna go outside? Maybe get to know each other more” she only nods, taking her jacket from her chair as you both head out from your table toward the exit of the bar.

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“Oh, here you are” you recognize this airy voice, taken aback as you look at where the voice comes from.

Though you were right about the black hair, you did miss the mark on Isa's outfit. Short crop top and tight jeans, that cute summer dress was nowhere to be found.

Her cat-like eyes lock onto yours, she flashes a sweet yet devilish grin before heading toward the two of you.

“Gotta say Jake: i had a feeling you were good looking, but i didn't expect you to be this good looking” Isa compliments you, giving a small wink then her gaze turns to Chaeyoung with curious eyes.

“Your friend?” She asks you,

“Hi, I'm Chaeyoung, nice to meet you” She says, reaching her hand forward as Isa is suddenly taken by surprise.

“Um, I am Chaeyoung”

“That's my name”

“That's… also my name"

“What's your family name?” Chaeyoung asks, now intrigued by the other girl.

“Its Lee” Isa responds, now it's Chaeyoung’s turn to be surprised.

“that's also…my family name”

During this, you are just looking at what's happening in front of you. As much as you are curious, you are also worried since it seems like both were interested in dating you after this.

However, one quick look at each other, another one to look at you and then looking back at each other, the two girls started laughing, both covering their mouths to muffle the volume. You can only sigh in relief that it turned for the better.

Eventually they both let their laughs out as Chaeyoung speaks. “It's quite a surprise to meet another Korean here in LA”.

“Please, call me Isa, and same, nice to meet you too Chaeyoung” she replies, chuckling lightly as the other girl can't help but start chuckling as well before they reach their hand for a small handshake

“Well that went better than expected” you manage to slip in the conversation reminding them that you are still here.

“You also met him on Speed dating?”

Chaeyoung nods. “We were the last round before the lights turned on, you two met earlier?” 

“Yeah, the other guys were kind of boring but he was a breath of fresh air” Isa explains, turning her gaze to you and winking at you. You could swear your heart skipped a beat.

At this moment one question rose in your mind and as you looked at the two girls with an awkward look, they both realized what you were as they sounded a small ‘oh’ before looking at each other again. As much as you didn't want you, you had to choose one of the girls to be your date.

“You can go out with Jake” Chaeyoung quickly says, smiling sweetly and lightly pushing Isa toward you, both you and the cat-like girl are surprised.

“Chaeyoung? Are you sure?” you question, why was she suddenly

“Yeah yeah, I'm sure, You two met before I met you, so she should have you” she explains, her eyes joining her smile. You did feel bad about leaving Chaeyoung out however an idea was about to be suggested that would fix that problem.

Then again, you aren't sure if this was an actual fix…

“I dont mind you dating us both”

What

“What?” Chaeyoung raises her eyebrow in surprise at Isa, the one who suggested that idea out of the blue, you were not far behind Chaeyoung in your reaction as well, being completely confusement.

“I mean dont see why not, I like you, you like me, she likes you, You like her. I am bad at math but it doesn’t seem too hard to solve this problem” Isa explains looking at you, You and Chaeyoung swap looks, you can feel your cheek heating up and changing to a pink shade.

“I mean uh…as long as Jake doesn't mind, it's okay by me” Chaeyoung stutters, Isa likes this response as she smiles at her new friend, her arm goes around Chaeyoung’s shoulder.

“Im sure it will be great, So what do you say Jake?~” Isa’s voice is sweet when she looks at you with her warm smile, Chaeyoung’s smile is also there but is much more timid.

The choice was now in your field, you didn't expect there to be a third option in the first place and all in honesty: That idea seemed like trouble. But when Isa looks at you with her cheerful smile, standing like that next to Chaeyoung with a smile that makes them look together like the next cover page for a magazine, it's hard to say no to them.

And deep inside: you don't want to.

“Sure, if that's what you two want” you respond, it seems they are both satisfied with your choice as they look at each other with warm smiles. 

you honestly didn't mind this idea as long as they were both happy, besides, what's the worst that could happen?.

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“Dang it!” Isa yelled, almost managing to block your hit of the air puck but it ended up inside the goal because of the unusual angle you shot it. “So…a model, that sounds like a cool job to have, no?” She directed her question to Chaeyoung, giving her the mallet she was holding.

“Huh? Oh yeah, it's fine, I'm not getting many offers compared to the average model” Chaeyoung answers, half focused on aiming the first shot before quickly shooting it at your goal. “but it's good money”

You reflect the puck. “I mean, if it's something you like to D-” Stop what you are saying and block the surprise attack Chaeyoung does, look at her cheeky smile as you know she almost scored“-Do, you can do almost everything you want” you continue what you were saying as you send the puck toward her direction.

“Yeah that's true” Chaeyoung smiled toward you, then quickly smacking the puck directly into your goal, getting herself a point. “So, what do you two work at?”.

“A Gaming cafe, Came to LA as a summer trip with my friends after exams” Isa replied, taking your mallet and shooting the puck from her side.

“Damn, compared to you two my job sounds boring as fuck, You are a model, you work at a gaming cafe, and i am just a barista at a cafe” you jokingly roast yourself, eyes moving from side to side with each side the puck goes to.

“Huh, not my first thought when it comes to your job,” Isa says, a bit surprised. “But…i imagine you look quite handsome in barista clothes” And there she goes again, with that flirty smile and curious eyes that you swear you fall in love deeper than you were.

Now look at Chaeyoung, not as flirty as the other girl but it seems that, unlike the first time you met her, she is much less tense, more at ease around the two of you, genuinely enjoying her time.

After the air hockey game is over and a quick stop to get some of LA’s finest street food (which the two seemed to really enjoy for their first time), the three of you are now sitting on the boardwalk, the sound of the waves going back and forth is singing in your ears, however now they topic of the conversation seems to get more…laid-back.

“So let me get this straight: your best friend is Korean, right?” You ask, Isa responds with a small nod

“And she has a British accent?” Chaeyoung continues your question, getting Isa to laugh again.

“Yes-” she stops talking to take a sip from the water bottle in her. “Fully Korean, with a British accent, one time my friends and I were listening to a song called ‘Run 2 U’ by some random group, and she said the name of the song as” she suddenly released a small chuckle unable to keep her cool.

“As what? Just tell us” Chaeyoung comments, half smiling as if she already knows the answer, Isa meanwhile slowly downed the water so she wouldn't choke before finally saying after a deep breath.

“Raeun tew yew…” The mock accent that Isa adds gives the punch line more of an oomph as you all start laughing, small tears of joy leave your eyes as you slam the wooden deck, meanwhile, Chaeyoung covers her mouth to hide the amount of blush she has on her cheeks from how hard she is laughing.

“Oh that was good, I didn't expect to laugh this hard” You exclaim, taking a deep breath as you now go back to staring at the waves. “Honestly…this date has been really fun, with both of you,”.

“Like-wise, we both enjoyed your company as well” Chaeyoung replies, sweetly giggling while her left fingers go to her hair, pushing it aside with the side effect of getting your cheeks slightly pink, luckily the weak lighting make it hard to see for the two girls.

“Same for me” Isa chimed in with a smile. “Say, want to continue it somewhere else? It's getting late” she prompts as a soft yawn escapes her mouth.

“Huh? Okay, if you want my place is close” you say, standing up from the deck as you lend your hand to help her stand up.

“That's great” She says as her gaze turns to the other girl. “You're coming as well Chae?”.

Chaeyoung suddenly tensed up in surprise. “Chae?” she asks, to which Isa just giggles at her rather cute reaction.

“Yeah, it's a cute nickname, you don't mind it, right?” Her tone is sweet when she asks her friend with a warm smile, that way when Chaeyoung smiles, she mirrors the same warmth with her own smile.

“Of course i don't” she responds, standing up and lightly stretching to gain some sense of her body, “So? Lets go”

“Great” Isa comments before turning her gaze to you. “Jake, mind leading the way?”

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The ride home is quieter than usual.

Not that there were not any talks inside the cab you decided to take to your place, but most of the talking was done by the two girls, sitting on each side of you, only speaking in a language you can only assume is korean.

It’s a simple loop: Isa says something, they look at you (which you could only smile awkwardly at their happy gazes), Chaeyoung answers with something else and they start giggling, sneaking another look at you and then it goes back again.

Eventually the taxi stops, leaving you right in front of your apartment complex. “Hmm, it really is close to the pier” Isa commented, easy for her to say when the entire bus ride has been ten minutes but for you it felt like an eternity.

As you scale the stairs up to your floor and walk to your apartment, you manage to fish the keys to your apartment out of your jeans pockets and open the door.

“Well here we are,” you say, getting inside and turning the lights on, revealing the living room, a couple boxes of instant-noodles on the table, the tv is on with a random news channel. “As you can see, it's not that big but its co-”

As you turn around to look at the two girls, your mouth opens wide in shock.

In front of you is Isa, head tilted slightly to the side as her lips close the distance with Chaeyoung’s. Her hands are not left idle as they both smoothly travel across the older’s back, feeling every inch of her partner’s body.

Meanwhile Chaeyoung's eyes are wide open and her body froze, surprised by the sudden act of Isa. It's not long until she as well eases up into the kiss, gently closing her eyes and putting her hands on the younger’s hips, you can hear how tongues slowly starts getting into the mix as the two girls vocalise small hums and whimpers. Eventually the torture comes to an end as their lips part from eachother but not their hands

“That… was your plan in the…end?” Chaeyoung asks in between pants, trying to collect air to aid surprise

“Of course, and besides…” Isa answers, turning her head enough to get her eyes on you, more specifically a bit down from your eyes. “It seems like he enjoys the show”.

Look down at the visible tent that is forming inside your pants and your hand that is slowly stroking itself to the beautiful yet unholy sight in front of you, another look into their eyes and you can see the arousement both girls share at your own prize.

“Come behind her jake, she feels divine” Isa elongates the last word-just the right way to get you Following her prompt, walking toward the two girls and getting behind Chaeyoung, your hands wrap around her midriff and your lips find themselves on the back of her neck causing her to quietly gasp.

With each second that your threeway makeout session was passing you could feel your pants getting tighter and your lust growing larger, enough that in a very bold move you let your palm find Isa’s right buttcock, giving it a gentle squeeze that makes her release a soft moan and take a look at you with a slutty smirk.

“You sneaky motherfucker” she playfully said, getting one of her hands off Chaeyoung's hips and wrapping it around your length. “You're hard already” she exclaims, leaving the two of you standing in front of her, wanting more from her, and from each other.

“I cant wait any longer~” Isa breathily says, giving you two a playful wink before disappearing into your bedroom. As lust quickly takes over your body you grab Chaeyoung by the hips and pull her into a kiss, and by how Chaeyoung quickly reciprocates the kiss and doesn't pull away, you can tell she wants it too.

You don't have time to process the texture of Chaeyoung lips, or how her long, soft legs are wrapped around your waist. Your only goal is to get the two of you into the bedroom, where Isa sits on your king sized bed with hungry eyes, licking her lips in anticipation. 

You let Chaeyoung get on your bed as you quickly join the two girls while tossing your shirt off to the side of the bed letting the two girls marvel at your naked chest.

“Fuck” Chaeyoung mouthed.

“Told you he was hot” Isa adds, scooting herself in front of you to get a hold of your chest before leaning in for a quick peck on your lips. “You don't mind undressing yourself, do you? me and Chae here have a show we need to give you” No answer was needed besides a nod as you went to the edge of your bed, letting the two girls begin.

It starts with kissing, slow yet sensual with Isa taking the lead by Straddling Chaeyoung's lap while one of her hands begins to glide across Chaeyoung's curves, ending at her left breast. “Fuck unnie, the things i will do to have a body like yours”.

Chaeyoung elicits a muffled moan to the soft grope Isa gives her, eyes completely shut and her and head looking up to let the pleasure take over. Soon Isa begins moving her hands all around her body, giving every inch of skin attention until eventually she stops one hand on the hem of Chaeyoung's shirt, the other supporting her from behind.

“You don't mind letting me take it off, right?” A quick nod of approval from the older one and Isa begins to slowly pull it up, moving to the right to let you see how slowly but surely more skin is revealed until finally the shirt is completely above her head giving you a clear view of Chaeyoung's black, lacy bra.

During all of this you are hard as a rock, can't take your eyes off from the two girls in front of you, even while you attempt to zip your jeans and rid them off your legs leaving you only in your briefs. You could swear you saw Isa lick her lips at the first sights of your briefs.

“Can I take yours too?” Chaeyoung's question is needy, eyes showing every sign of want to her Partner, hands are not left idle either with both of them resting on the upper part of Isa’s midriff, slightly below her two mounds.

“Of course, Unnie” she responds, leaning her body back and relaxing herself to let the older begin a strip tease of her own, every second that passes raises the sexual tension between them to a new level.

Unlike Chaeyoung, Isa’s crop top is not as loose compared to her black shirt, revealing the younger's breasts, covered with a crimson colored undergarments of her own with nipples taut from the arousal.

“Much better” Isa sighs in relief, feeling lighter without her crop top that is now thrown somewhere to the floor as once again she looks at you with a soft gaze however her mouth is anything but, painted with a sultry smile that can only speak trouble, finally with a breathy voice she playfully asks

“You're coming, Jake?”

The way Isa says your name, it's enough to let your primal instincts take over you, every red light is now turned green as you quickly pull Isa from behind into your lap, feeling her naked skin in your palms, right hand rests on her breast while the left hand goes to her thigh, rubbing and squeezing it to your heart's content.

“Oh god, yessss” Isa hisses the last word, it was clear that she enjoys every second of this, enough so that she doesnt pull away but instead leans in, meeting you in a torrid, messy makeout session, you two don't notice how Chaeyoung has already got rid of her whole bottom, only with her bra on with fingers already inside her pussy, definitely enjoying the view.

“Don't just stand there Chae, join us” This might be the most confident thing you have said this entire evening but it sure works on her since Chaeyoung now sits in front of Isa, palms massaging her clothed thighs, giving you a free hand to grope Isa’s other breast.

Those are not the same girls you met a couple of hours ago during that blind date, any semblance of innocence and fluff was left outside the door, now replaced with Lust and it's oh so clear with how Chaeyoung's eyes get aroused with each button she pops out of Isa jeans until eventually she finds her undergarment, same color as her bra with a wet spot in the middle.

Knowing what Chaeyoung was doing, Isa takes her hands into her denim jeans, lowering both the jeans and her own panties before throwing them away, leaving her creamy, thick thighs for both of you to revel in.

With the excitement in your body. You don't notice how Isa left your grasp, crawling away with a sway of her hips from side to side, now near her Chaeyoung they both look at you with an inviting smile, now giving you a chance to see both of them in their full glory.

With a devilish smirk Isa now moves behind the older girl, her eyes looking directly at you in an attempt to lure you in. Then a click can be heard as Chaeyoung’s bra now falls onto the mattress, Isa quickly joins her as now in front of you, two naked, gorgeous ladies sit in front of you.

And finally, knowing what the last piece is missing from the puzzle, you finally grab the hem of your boxers, pulling it down to let your Hardened cock stand strong and proud.

“Told you he was big” Isa exclaims, giving a small nudge to Chaeyoung with a small giggle, her friend quickly joins her.

“Yeah…so big” she mumbles quietly, her finger inside her mouth, lightly chewing on it to hold in the excitement of seeing your size. 

However, you didn't come this far with them just to watch each other naked, and they are not either as without saying a word, the two of them playfully shove you down into the mattress and get into their positions.

It starts off with Isa finding her place on your legs once again, looking directly at you with her thighs wrapped around your cock, only the tip is exposed to the air as after a flirty wink, she starts rubbing her thigh on you.

“Oh shit, Isa…” 

You groan, the rest of your voice comes out as a moan that gets her excited, you could have witnessed the obscene act of her thigh job until the end of time, however it is quickly obstructed by Chaeyoung's ass planted on your chest, her rear side all for you to view how it moves, you are not surprised why she is a model with a body as divine as hers.

“Jake…i can feel you twitching ” Isa whines, feeling your tip slightly touch her entrance is enough to let some precum leak out of your tip with you releasing another moan.

“Hey, let me have some too” Chaeyoung interrupts, taking her thumb and brushing it over your tip and grabbing some of it as you could hear how she gives it a small lick before humming cheerfully at your taste.

“Ooo, he taste good~” how the fuck did you even think this girl was innocent again?

“Can I have some unnie?”

“Sure” as if Chaeyoung’s timing was perfect, your first shot of cums leaks out of your member as she quickly gets some on her fingers. 

“Say ahhh” Chaeyoung prompts as Isa happily obliges, letting her fingers get inside her mouth, tasting . Its down right torture how you are not allowed to see what might as well be a scene from an adult film but regardless you can only enjoy the sounds, its not like you didnt do it before.

As your libido starts growing, so does your confidence as your palms firmly hold each buttcock of Chaeyoung, feeling its texture by softly squishing it, kneading it like dough causing Chaeyoung to utter a moan while arching her body back to give you all of the signals that she is enjoying it.

“Okay, this is enough teasing, we want the real thing now” Isa exclaims, Freeing your cock from the confines of her thighs giving it a breath of fresh air as now she squats over your face, giving you a clear view of her shaven pussy. Chaeyoung meanwhile heads over to sit next to your cock, still standing, waiting for the next storm to hit.

“I assume I am still not gonna get a look aren't i?” You ask, trying to sound cocky however Isa didn't say anything as she was slowly lowering her body, obstructing your view once again. With her thighs around your body and her pussy so close to your face, you let your tongue out giving her lips the first lick, just to test the waters.

“Oh fuck, yess” You hear Isa muffled moans from pleasure, feeling her ass gyrating on your tounge, enjoying every moment as you could feel the friction of her thighs on your face.

“You should join us Chaeyoung-AH, i can see him waiting just for you~” you could feel yourself getting even harder than before by the way Isa playfully invites her friend, all the while she is overtaken by pleasure. you are excited to see how Chaeyoung goes off with you, however your thoughts are stopped with a loud groan, not expecting your cock to feel the tightness of her pussy wrapped around you.

After the first contact Chaeyoung starts slowly moving up and down, each dip takes your cock deeper inside her, you could feel how each time you were inside her fluids were coating you more and more. “Oh my god Isaaaaa-” she stops her sentence, quickly releasing a sultry, husky moan. “His f-feels so good…”.

“His tongue too unnie, he is eating me out so well” Isa adds. It's nice to hear the compliment, so much that you get the confidence to start moving at your own pace, pushing your tongue inside. Meanwhile your hands grope Isa’s ass, giving you the grip to start pushing your hips in a matching pace to chaeyoung’s downward movement, Causing the two girls to scream from pleasure, holding each other in order to not collapse on the spot.

You could only Imagine how the girl’s lewd expressions were, just from the ungodly sounds, the scent of lust and cum, and the feeling of their curves on your body you could guess the fun they were having, but it would not be over until you all finally relieved yourself.

“Are you close Jake?” Isa manages to form a question while looking down, you could only respond with a muffled ‘yes’ and a nod of approval.

“I'm close too guys, i have to cum” Chaeyoung replies, releasing another moan in between bohnces it seems like you were all in on the same train of thought as you could feel yourself getting closer to your climax, even without Isa’s Ass directly on your face your view was getting hazy from ecstacy.

“Shit girls, i am going to-” you couldn't even finish the sentence before finally releasing your cum, thank god you pulled out of Chaeyoung just in time.

Your thick load goes all over their bodies, on Chaeyoung thighs, on Isa’s midriff, some even spills on your own abs, you are also not alone as they both get their own orgasm which goes all around your body, Chaeyoung coating your cock and Isa spilling around your face and abs

It takes a while but eventually you are all drained, both girls fall into each of your side, finally giving you a chance to see the two girls laid on the mattress, their bodies painted with cum from the three of you, their faces happy and satisfied.

For a couple of minutes it's quiet, the only way you communicate is with your eyes, looking at each other not with lust but instead with a warm, peaceful gaze.

Eventually Chaeyoung finally breaks the silence. “Fuck, im not a virgin but i gotta say; that is the best sex i had in my life”

“Same for me, i don't know if i want a round 2 or to stop” Isa joins between heavy pants, her hands wrap around your body as she looks at you with the same warm smile she had back when you first saw her.

“I don't know about you two, but i need a good rest after this” you manage to say as you once again lay down on the bed, eyes looking at the ceiling with each hand goes behind the girls’s back, pulling them closee to you.

“Okay then, we will start cleaning and then join you” Isa replies, letting you close your eyes and get some rest. However not before you can hear faint sounds of slurping as you open eye and see Chaeyoung's lips wrapped around the tip of your cock, isa behind holding her hair and tying it to makeshift ponytail.

“Hmm, it seems you two wanted another” you say, smiling at the two girls.

“Hey, you're still hard and we are still horny, you complain?” Isa asks, her eyes locking into yours paired with a flirty grin and a cute wink.

Something tells you that you wont get a good rest from those two girls.

[thesweetestapplepie]

I love your writing and umm if you're doing requests may I please request essentially the reverse of the fwb ones, where she and arthur are partners in crime and they're super sweet and couple-y best friends but are NOT together even though everyone in camp is like 'are they seriously not fucking???' And they're just mutually pining like idiots for years on end. I hope that made sense sorry if its weirdly specific i probably need therapy lol.

wc: 1.9k

tags: FLUFF!! pining Arthur.

Comfortable. Too comfortable. It was almost suspicious. Those were the exact words Susan Grimshaw would use to describe the pair of lovebirds that bumbled around camp as if completely enamoured in their own worlds. Those lovebirds not even being the crude Sean and babbling Karen or even Mary-Beth and the stuttering, nervous mess which was Kieran. No. It was the mere sight of you, the silver tongued bandit with her heart on her sleeve being so shamelessly sought out by the brooding, enigmatic man Arthur Morgan. To be completely fair on Grimshaw’s part, it wasn’t only her who held suspicions on the end of her finger when she would constantly wave it in front of your nose. The very close friendship the pair of you had knitted together came tangled with the inquiries of not only the women of camp, who bargained gossip for gossip by their washboards, but the men in camp who would throw sneaky, offhand remarks at the wind over a drink or game of poker. And yet, not much to everyone’s surprise that the pair of you would deny, deny, deny.

And who can blame them? It had become an almost domestic frame: the pair of you couldn’t help but to give in to the simple pleasures. Simple distractions. Mornings became rich in the same scene of Arthur trailing behind you to your routine which in return had become his routine. Knowing he would be gone on a job for most of the week, he prepares himself for the long departure in his own endearing way. Trailing behind you with ears low tucked behind his hat, he follows you to the glistening shores of Clemen’s Point the very mornings before departure. He’d sheepishly blush and sit on a rock nearby where you had already begun to wash your face in the cold, relieving sting of the water. With a palm tucked under his scarred chin and elbow resting on his knee, his body lumbered over to intently watch you. The use of conversation was pointless in the of quiet elysium which was the Clemen’s point waters so early in the morning that the moon still forged itself to the blue sky–so early in the morning it traps the pair of you in a capsule where no one else seemed to matter or intrude. When he can’t avoid your tickling suspicions, he scratches the back of his neck and hopes you didn’t think of him as any less of a man.

“You’re up early.” You draw first to jab at him.

“Gonna be busy today.. Coffee’s good when it’s hot.” He hides his real reason behind coffee beans and hot water, tipping his hat for extra perseverance.

“Really now?” You’d respond to him with conviction for his dishonesty and he shrugs. You pulled yourself up and rang water from your skirt.. “Could you get me a cup then?”

“Ain’t your dog, woman.” He’d mumble with no real bitterness, walking with a slow lumber towards the campfire where he lets his feelings for you swallow him up in his pathetic attempts to make you smile.

Caring for you had become a part of Arthur Morgan’s character. The aspect of grey clouds contorting you to anything but the carefree, happy woman who read to him on quiet nights and splashed in puddles on rainy days leaves him feeling utterly ashamed and bastardized. Arthur doesn’t know exactly when he realized it hurt so much to see you as anything but content and well fed, yet he succumbs to your rule and seems to crush himself beneath your thumb.

“You’re gonna get yourself sick like that.” He scolds you when you prance through the streaking, silver pelts of rain. You chase the rushing chill past the front steps of The Loft, stopped by the simple yearning to play with the riches of nature. If Ambarino could offer Arthur one thing, it was the ability to see you bask in the background of green and meadows of blurred wildflowers.

“So?” Water trickles down your back and seeps through the stitchings of your clothing and much to his prediction you push down the sting of cold with brilliance.

He laughs half-heartedly at that. “So? You whine like a dog for days with a stuffed nose, you ain’t foolin’ me.” He crosses his arms over his chest as if it’ll stagnate the humming in his body. He forces his head down to avoid the sting of his yearning for you. And yet, even when you pull him by his hands into the blur of pelting water he feels nothing but warmth in his vain attempt to preserve your health. And in the end, he’d rather it be both of you sipping hot stew in the quarantine of his tent than you by yourself in yours.

Though, you show you care for him as well, in sweeter and considerate terms of affection. When Arthur Morgan fails to take care of himself in negligence or in carelessness, you make up for it with not a word spoken in between them. With a bowl of fresh stew lightly garnished with creeping thyme personally plucked by you, you take it upon yourself to bring the moping man a meal when he’s too stubborn to grab one himself. When another robbery only left them with a quarter and law men too close to camp, you remind Arthur that he isn’t the cold steel of a gun but he was human.

“You ain’t gotta do that fa’ me.” Yet, when his thumb firmly brushes your hand in exchange, it speaks all the thank yous to you with the life in his eyes coming back.

He speaks thanks especially when he knows you need it. It isn’t uncommon for Grimshaw to have you fold the same 3 loads of laundry at the beginning of every morning, or force you to stick your nose to the mat and collect the dust through your nostrils and a broom. When the days begin to wax at you and you melt over the boil of your pot, Arthur knows he isn’t a smoothtalker yet he pats himself on the back for his saving grace.

He’ll bound up to you, confident with a chest puff of ash and yarrow pollen. Sometimes he’ll find you atop of a discarded barrel, you were already helping Pearson peel at potatoes, fingers tough and printed with the blunt side of the blade; But that thief needs to steal some more of your precious time.

“Put’chu shoes on. Need you to run an errand with me.”

“You busy? Could use a saddle warmer.”

He’ll almost always ask you with hands looped on his gun belt, naval tilting up as if to downplay his own request. However, on occasions where he is self-serving enough to pry you from the comfort of your tent, he’ll ask you to accompany him for no real particular reason. Well, of course he has his reasons. But who were you to say no to that handsome man.

Once in a while, when the brilliant summer sun would even dare to outshine your golden smile, he calls you over just by the banks to serve him in your musical lull. Pulling his sleeves up to the curl of his bicep, he swings an axe overhead with a thunderous strike of lightning and the logs of wood splinter effortlessly in his control and he only pauses to call your name from the crowd. Finger pointing a spotlight to you as you make your way. “You.”

“Me?” You make your way over with a fluttering skirt and the breath of lilac that calls your name in its aroma. “What about me?”

“Need you to read for me.” An awkward hand gestures to the book safely tucked under your arm and with a hell of a lot better to do such as washing and cooking you sit down in a shady patch of lime grass and flip to page 25 of your book. There, with the trees swelling at every gale of bird songs and the smell of oak and cedar, you read to him from your spot where your skirt pools on the floor and makes his heart tick with endearment. When he fails to force his face down into the heat of his work, he allows himself to sneak fleeting glances of you and your pretty skirt. Capturing you in his mind was no different than a fully realized photograph, he knew you well enough to not have to remember which way your hair parted and how you liked to wear ribbons in your clothing. When you do catch him looking, he ducks his head with an apology too quiet for you to hear but just for him to save his pride. And you laugh, because the shades of red that paint his stubble face wasn’t due to the pounding sun in the sky but the drumming of his heart.

Arthur Morgan’s criminality didn’t leave him much room for care and domesticity. The soft blazing skin of a woman had become unfamiliar and alien to him as dreams of Tahiti or god knows what. Death’s waiting arms was by far going to be the closest thing he’ll get to a white lacy wedding, yet when the noose slips and it tightens it’s hold on him, a nagging itch in his body tells him your boot isn’t fitting as it usually did or you’ve been losing track of your rings and dainty necklaces that seem to only fit your perfect skin. And heaven knows he cannot even imagine death's eternal sleep if you were not properly looked out for.

It wasn’t the prettiest sight, though he has to admit it to himself, to tear away trinkets and gold from the hands of anyone unfortunate enough to ride down his trail. With a sinful thumb he wipes sweat lining the indents of his forehead and dismounts with a heavy footfall directed towards your yellow starched tent canvas. He pulls open the canvas but not before announcing his entrance like the gentleman that he was.

And yet, when he’s able to string together enough money he buys you those new amber shaded boots with dark rose embroidery running along its stump. Once in a perfect pale moon he cobbles together enough to buy you a new necklace to replace the one you left in Valentine, and the embellished swelling of your already tinted pink cheeks makes the blood in his hands tingle when he gives you the delicate items. He is adamant on doing it to serve you, to make your life a little easier in the light of the coming summer. Even when you kiss his cheek and whisper your thanks and praise, he dares to let his smile show any more crooked teeth. His reasons are albeit, a little more selfish than he cares to admit.

“Look at that face, Morgan! She gave you a good one this time, ain’t she?” Sean croons from his spot at the table like a crow with a face kissed red in liquor.

“Gave me more than what you’ll get in 10 years, fool.” He deflects with a dismissive hand when he b-lines for his tent. Despite all the accusatory remarks and comments, he bounds to his tent with a smile on those thinly curved lips, because something about everyone assuming you were his as he was yours had only fed into his hopeless desires. Arthur Morgan knew he was out of his mind for yearning for you, but he had lost half of it to the violence. And lord knows he deserves to lose the rest of it to love.

[daryltwdixon]

Part 1 | Part 2 | masterlist

“Oh, we’re gonna have so much fun, aren’t we, bunny?” Summary: You should have been afraid. You should have been begging for your life, not begging for more. But the more he took, the more he pushed, the more he forced you to see what you really were, the more you broke for him. Because when you finally shattered, when your body gave in one last time, you understood—you hadn’t just loved the fear. You had craved it all along. || DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT 🕊️ horror, smut, MDNI 18+, Dark!Daryl Dixon, blood and implied violence, no walkers, motel room encounters, morally gray reader, predator/prey vibes, dubious situations and dubious consent (the reader whole heartedly consents they're just trying to reason with themselves that this is a terrible idea), serialkiller!Daryl, unprotected pinv, fingering, some f!recieving oral, itty bitty knife play, fear kink, Reader has issues™ a/n: once again a massive thank you to my friend @dixonsdarkelf for beta reading & making me feel not so insane for writing this ! Inspired by these gifsets x x

Your senses were on fire. Set ablaze like flint striking steel, sparking, catching, burning. Everything was heightened—every touch, every sound, every breath—yet anything beyond teeth, tongues, lips, and warmth faded into a distant, fevered haze. Even the scent of blood, thick and metallic in the air, blurred into the background, nothing more than a ghost of a thought as he took you against the door.

This unnamed man, the one who had seemed to know you the second he laid eyes on you, kissed you with so much veracity that you shook—no longer with fear, but with an overwhelming need to be closer. You pushed into him, the tension in your body unraveling as the warmth of his mouth settled into something unbearable, something dizzying, something that made every inch of your skin feel too hot, too sensitive, too much.

His fingers remained tangled in your hair, holding you there, keeping you pressed between him and the door as his lips moved slow but deep, tasting, teasing, his teeth scraping against your bottom lip before his tongue licked into your mouth, swallowing the soft sound you didn’t mean to let out.

Your grip tightened in his robe, fisting the soft pink fabric as you pressed closer.

Then with a sudden, violent strength, he pushed you into the door hard enough that you expelled the air in your lungs with a grunt. The hinges whined against the broken frame, the solid weight of him pressing in, keeping you right where he wanted you. His hands shifted—one sliding from your hair to wrap around your throat, pressing just enough to make you gasp as he tilted your head back. The other grabbed at your shirt, yanking it down with no hesitation, dragging the fabric past your chest until your breasts spilled free.

A wicked smile played across his lips as his gaze dropped, hunger flashing in those sharp, dangerous blue eyes. He didn’t give you a moment to adjust, didn’t offer any pretense of gentleness before his mouth was on you, his lips wrapping around one of your hardened nipples.

Instead of the soft caress a lover might have given, he bit down.

Sharp, sudden, teeth sinking into your oversensitive flesh, making you cry out. Your hands flew up, fingers wrapping tight around his forearm where he held you back, your nails digging into his skin, but he only hummed against you, amused by the way you squirmed.

“Oh, we’re gonna have so much fun, aren’t we, bunny?”

His voice was thick with something rough and indulgent, his breath hot against your flushed skin as he chuckled, the sound vibrating around the aching peak of your breast. His tongue flicked out, laving over the bite, soothing the sting with something warm and teasing before he moved to the other, lips closing around it, sucking slow and deep before biting again.

The sharp pleasure-pain shot straight to your core, your head pressing harder against the door, breath shuddering as he worked you over, taking his time, drawing out every reaction.

Savoring every reaction, every gasp of breath he let you have as his hand tightened around your neck. 

His free hand dragged down your side, light, teasing, the contrast almost unbearable as his mouth continued licking, suckling, and nipping at your tender breasts. His fingers traced the soft curve of your body before slipping lower, playing at the waistband of your pants, hovering, waiting.

A shiver ran through you, your thighs pressing together on instinct, but he was watching you now. You could feel it even as you squeezed your eyes shut.

Then, he laughed. Low, warm, mocking.

“I can feel how bad you want it,” he murmured against your skin, voice dipping into something taunting, something mean. His fingers pushed just a little lower, teasing. “That why you’re squeezin’ your legs together, bunny? Tryin’ to pretend you don’t wanna spread ‘em for me?”

Your breath hitched, mortified, but before you could answer, his teeth moved up, scraping your collarbone, his voice lowering to a growl.

“I’m gonna need some kinda answer here, bunny.”

He groaned into your skin, grinding against you, his movements slow, deliberate, meant to make you feel every inch of him. There was no mystery to it—he was big, the thick outline of him pressing firm and heavy against your stomach through the thin fabric of his robe. The softness of it was stark against the hardness beneath, the heat of him pulsing through the fabric, aching, demanding. Each slow roll of his hips dragged him against you, the pressure teasing, measured, like he was making a point. 

“C’mon, sweet thing. Tell me you want it. Tell me how bad you want me.”

Your brain was screaming at you.

Stop. Think. There’s a dead body in the room.

You don’t know his name. He’s covered in blood. He’s dangerous.

And yet—his lips were still on your throat, his hands still exploring, teasing, and your body was still melting into him like none of that mattered. Like all that mattered was the heat rolling off him, the weight of his body pressing you harder against the door, the way every slow drag of his mouth set you on fire.

Your fingers curled into the soft fabric of his robe, but this time, you weren’t pulling him closer. You were pushing at him, weakly, without force, your hands betraying your own hesitation. It was instinct. Some last-ditch, pathetic attempt at self-preservation. But you could feel the way his grip tightened, fingers flexing around your throat, keeping you still.

“No—” The word barely left you, breathless, shaky, uncertain.

He didn’t stop. He didn’t even hesitate.

The warmth of his breath ghosted over your skin as he let out a low chuckle, lips curving against your throat like the sound itself amused him. He hummed, slow and thoughtful, like he was turning something over in his mind before finally speaking, his voice dipping lower, rough and thick with amusement.

“So you’re tryna tell me if I put my hand down your panties right now, you wouldn’t be soaked for me?”

The way he said it—so certain, so fucking smug, like he already knew the answer—made something inside you clench. Heat licked through your stomach, twisting tight, and before you could even attempt to deny it, before you could convince yourself to shove him away, his hand was already moving.

His touch was light, too light, barely there, but it sent a violent shiver racing down your spine. He wasn’t rushing or forcing anything. He was taunting, playing with you like a cat with a mouse in its claws.

He gave you plenty of time to stop him.

But you didn’t.

A slow, wolfish grin stretched across his face, like this was exactly what he expected, like he already knew your body was betraying you, and then he moved.

His fingers at your waistband slid lower, dipping beneath the fabric, slipping between your legs without hesitation, and the second he felt it—the moment his fingers met the dripping, messy pool of slick between your thighs—his grin faltered.

His breath hitched, chest rising against yours, and for the first time, that unwavering confidence wavered.

“Fuck,” he muttered, more to himself than to you, voice suddenly rougher, thick with arousal. His fingers slid through the obscene wetness with no resistance, parting you easily, gliding over the swollen flesh he found there, coating his fingers with you. He pressed into you deeper, the heat of his skin against yours almost unbearable, fingers teasing at your entrance, feeling the way your body welcomed him, wanted him, clung to him like you were already desperate for more.

Your stomach twisted, face burning, a fresh wave of humiliation crawling up your throat. He groaned, deep and slow, like he was savoring the discovery, like the realization of just how wet you were for him was something he wanted to commit to memory. His free hand at your throat flexed, a slow, indulgent squeeze, like he was grounding himself in the feel of you, the sound of your breath, the way your thighs instinctively pressed together even as you arched closer to him.

“Christ, bunny,” he exhaled, his voice heavier now, thick and oozing with satisfaction. His fingers dragged through the mess of slick again, slow and lazy, not giving you what you needed, just feeling you, learning the way your body reacted. “And you really tried tellin’ me you didn’t want this.”

The noise that left you wasn’t a whimper, but it was close enough to one to make him chuckle again, but this time, it wasn’t just amusement. This was something darker, something hungry, something filled with pride.

And then, too soon, too fucking soon, he pulled his fingers away.

Your breath shuddered, the loss of contact sending an unbearable ache twisting through your stomach, but before you could even process it, before you could decide if you wanted to stop him or chase him, you watched as he lifted his hand to his mouth.

You should have looked away.

But you watched as he sucked his fingers clean, slow and deliberate, his tongue dragging over every inch, savoring the taste of you like it was something rich and decadent.

It should have been disgusting. The remnants of dried blood still clung to the back of his hand, streaked up his wrist, smearing deeper into his skin as his lips closed around his fingers.

But instead of revulsion, all you felt was the sharp, aching pulse between your legs like a hunger that only grew.

The slick coated them, thick and glistening, and he licked it off slowly, dragging his tongue over the taste of you, sucking his fingers into his mouth as his half-lidded eyes never left yours. His tongue flicked out, licking up every last drop, taking his time, savoring you, enjoying every bit of what you had just given him without a fight.

Then, before you could react, he reached to you, dragging the wetness across your lips.

His touch was rough, unrelenting, marking you, smearing it against your mouth, your chin, watching as you shuddered under the weight of it.

“Taste yourself, bunny,” he murmured, voice thick, dripping with cruel satisfaction. “Since you’re so sure you don’t want this.”

Your chest heaved, your lips parted slightly, and for a split second, you almost did.

But then something inside you snapped.

Your head jerked away, your lips pressing together in refusal, the last bit of fight in you breaking through the haze.

His eyes darkened. The amusement didn’t disappear, but something shifted beneath it.

And then, before you could react, before you could take another breath, his hand on your throat was ripped away for an instant before it was back, but this time, the cold press of steel kissed your throat.

Your body locked up, your breath freezing in your chest.

The knife had appeared so fast you had barely seen him move, drawn from the pocket of his robe like it had been there all along, waiting, ready. He held it lightly, casually, the blade barely pressing against your skin.

Your pulse pounded against it.

His lips brushed against your ear, his voice slow, teasing, almost gentle.

“Maybe you just need a little encouragement,” he mused, his tone almost sweet, almost harmless, like he wasn’t holding a blade to your throat. His free hand slid back down between your legs, fingers cupping you over the denim of your pants, making you jump.

“Since you love bein’ so scared, little bunny.”

Then, with excruciating slowness, his fingers found the button of your jeans, popping it open before dragging the zipper down, the sound loud in the thick silence between you. He didn’t rush. Didn’t force. Just took his time, savoring the anticipation before moving his hand between your thighs, pressing against the heat of you through the thin fabric beneath.

The knife stayed at your throat.

His lips pressed against your jaw, warm, deliberate, teasing. He wasn’t rushing. He didn’t have to. His breath was warm when he muttered, “Now, let’s see if you can keep pretending you don’t like this.”

The words sank into you, curling around the last fragile thread of resistance you had left.

He pushed your panties aside with deft fingers and dragged through your slick, swirling slowly over your swollen clit, and it was too much, too sudden, too good. Your knees nearly buckled, your eyes rolling back before you could stop them, your hands scrambling against his robe, searching for something to hold onto, something to ground yourself.

You weren’t fighting anymore.

Your body had given up the charade before your mind had.

“Gonna need to hear it,” he growled, his voice rough, hungry, like he was done waiting for you to stop lying to yourself.

The words were out before you even thought about them.

“Yes, yes, yes—fuck, I want it. Please, I want you.”

The sound of your own voice startled you. Desperate, wrecked, raw. It felt foreign. Like it was coming from someone else, someone shameless, someone who wasn’t supposed to exist inside you.

But she did.

She had been there all along.

And she was the one moaning when he dragged his fingers lower, pushing two thick digits into your clenching, desperate pussy.

The stretch had you gasping, head pressing back against the door, body arching, hips tilting forward to take more, more, more.

The noises spilling from your lips didn’t feel like yours anymore. This wasn’t you.

But maybe it was.

Maybe this was the version of you that had been buried for years—the version of you that craved fear, submission, control, that had spent her entire life running straight toward danger just to see if she would survive it.

Maybe you had always wanted this.

Maybe you had just been waiting for someone like him to find you.

His thick fingers pumped into you, slow but deep, dragging slick from your core with every deliberate stroke. His thumb moved in a lazy circle over your clit, the touch surprisingly gentle, almost soothing—a cruel contrast to the way he had you pinned against the door, to the cold bite of steel resting at your throat.

The knife felt sharper now, pressing just enough to remind you it was there, the cool metal stark against the fevered heat of your skin. The whole room felt too hot, too small, too full of him, with his breath ghosting over your jaw, his chest solid against yours, and his voice thick and indulgent as he dragged you deeper, deeper, deeper into this.

A broken moan tore from your lips as he curled his fingers, pressing against that spot, the one deep inside you that made your stomach tighten, your back arch, your legs threaten to give out.

“Oh, fuck—” you whimpered, your hands flying to his shoulders, nails digging into whatever you could hold onto, fighting to stay upright as your body clenched around him.

His mouth curled against your cheek, amused. Pleased.

“There she is,” he murmured, his voice rough with something dark and satisfied. “Knew you’d give in, bunny. Just had to get you to admit it.”

His fingers pumped harder, slick and messy, shoving you closer to the edge with every stroke. The pressure of the knife didn’t waver. It stayed exactly where he wanted it, pressed against the delicate skin of your throat, making every breath feel shallow, dangerous, intoxicating.

"You gonna come for me?" he mused, his voice a lazy drawl, thick with arrogance. "Or you still gonna pretend this ain't what you wanted all along?"

You couldn't answer—not with the way he was fucking you with his fingers, not with the way your whole body was unraveling, breaking apart, coming undone.

And he knew it.

He fucking knew it.

“I’m gonna–oh god–” you moaned, your back arching at an almost inhuman angle as he kept you pinned, as the knife at your throat kept you grounded, your body caught in that sharp balance between pleasure and fear. “Can I please—please?”

His lips curled against your skin, pleased, smug.

“Love when you beg so pretty,” he murmured, voice rough, thick with indulgence. His teeth grazed the sensitive flesh of your pulse point, dragging slow over the frantic beat beneath your skin, teasing, threatening. His fingers didn’t slow, didn’t ease up, didn’t fucking stop, working you harder, dragging you right to the edge.

His grip never wavered, the blade steady, firm, resting against your pulse like a silent threat. Like a promise.

"Come. Now." The command was rough, guttural, fingers driving into you harder, sharper. "Don’t hold back. Don’t fucking fight it. Wanna feel you squeeze me. Give it up, bunny."

Your mouth dropped open, eyes squeezing shut as the pleasure hit you all at once, your whole body tightening, legs threatening to give out, the pleasure tearing through you so violently it almost hurt.

And just as you shattered apart in his hands—

He bit down. Hard.

Teeth sinking into your neck, marking you, branding you, his mouth hot and unrelenting, drinking down every sound, every desperate cry as you came around his fingers, as you broke completely.

Your body was still trembling, the aftershocks rolling through you in uneven waves as his teeth finally eased from your neck, lips dragging over the fresh mark he’d left behind. You barely had the chance to catch your breath before his fingers slid from inside you, leaving you empty, aching, still twitching from the force of your release.

You gasped as he pulled back, his grip steady as he guided you upright, keeping you from collapsing entirely. The knife was gone now, slipped away just as quickly as it had appeared, but the ghost of its cold steel still lingered against your throat, the reminder settling deep in your bones.

Still catching your breath, your limbs felt weightless, unsteady, the lingering tremors in your legs making it nearly impossible to hold yourself upright. You weren’t sure if you would have moved at all if it weren’t for the sudden warmth of his hand wrapping around yours.

Your fingers twitched in his grip, a brief hesitation, but he didn’t let go. His touch was firm, grounding, leading you away from the door with a slow, deliberate pull. 

Your legs wobbled, still weak, but he didn’t seem concerned. If anything, the smirk tugging at his lips made it clear he liked seeing you like this—wrecked, breathless, too unsteady to even move without his help.

"Not done with you yet, bunny," he muttered, his voice thick with satisfaction as he led you across the room.

You barely registered the direction he was taking you, still floating somewhere between the high of release and the lingering haze of adrenaline. It wasn’t until your hips hit the edge of something solid that your mind caught up.

The counter.

The mirror in front of you was wide, stretching across the wall above the surface, the reflection hazy in the dim motel lighting. You could see yourself—disheveled, undone, lips swollen, the fresh mark on your throat already bruising. And behind you, he stood close, his body radiating heat, his grip still wrapped around your wrist. He pulled your hand to rest with his at your lower back, only one hand to support yourself up on the cold countertop as he bent you in half.

“Right here, bunny,” he murmured, his voice quieter now, lower, almost soothing. His other hand smoothing over your waist, fingers tracing over your hips as he guided you into place.

Your gaze flickered to the mirror, following the line of his arms, the shape of his body hidden under the pink robe caging you.

And just beyond it, in the reflection—

The bed.

The body.

It’s head was turned in your direction, almost like it was watching.

A fresh chill crawled down your spine, sinking its teeth into the heat still simmering in your veins. You swallowed, pulse flickering unevenly, but before your mind could catch up, his lips brushed your shoulder, warm and slow.

“Eyes up,” he murmured, voice deep and edged with something almost… gentle. “I want you to watch.”

His grip on your wrist loosened, fingers brushing over your knuckles for a fleeting second before he let go. For half a second, you thought maybe he was easing up.

Then his hands were back on you—rough, unrelenting, impatient.

You barely had time to brace yourself before he ripped your jeans down, yanking them past your hips with one sharp tug, the force of it knocking you further against the counter. The denim scraped down your thighs, dragging over your knees before he picked up each of your feet to take them off completely, discarding them across the room.

The second they hit the floor, he was already hooking his fingers into your panties, wasting no time before peeling them off too, this time slower, like he was teasing himself until you were completely bare for him.

Your breath hitched, a sharp little gasp breaking free—but before you could even react, before you could catch up to reality, his mouth was on you.

“Oh—!” The sound tore from your throat, breathless, shocked, your legs nearly giving out as heat exploded under your skin. Instead of pulling away, instead of standing back up, he dragged you closer, one hand gripping your thigh as his tongue flattened against your folds, licking deep, messy, hungry.

The wet sounds of his mouth on you filled the room, obscene, echoing off the cheap motel walls. You could feel him groan into you, feel the vibration of it, like he was savoring the taste of you, drinking down the remnants of your last orgasm like he needed it, like he couldn’t help himself.

One last slow, filthy swipe of his tongue, and then he pulled away, standing to his full height, his breath warm against your back, the heat of him pressing into you from behind.

"Just needed a taste," he muttered, his voice rough, low, still thick with hunger.

His hand found your hip, fingers digging in, keeping you still as he leaned over you. You could feel him grin, feel the heat of it against your shoulder.

Your gaze snapped to the mirror as you felt him shift behind you.

In his hand that he brought up, was holding your panties. They dangled from his fingers like a trophy, like a fucking prize.

The fabric looked so obscene in his grip, white lace contrasting starkly against the dark red of dried blood still smeared up his wrists, staining the soft material, ruining it.

A slow smirk curled at his lips, eyes locked on yours in the reflection.

“Keepsake,” he murmured, voice thick with satisfaction, before tucking them into the pocket of his robe like they belonged to him all along.

Then, he moved to stand straight, the absence of him making you shiver. Something in your stomach clenched, but then you heard the soft rustle of fabric hitting the floor.

Your breath hitched, your gaze drinking him in through the mirror.

He was bare now, the absurd pink robe crumpled at his feet, nothing left between you but heat, want, and the lingering scent of blood still clinging to his skin.

He was all hard muscle and soft belly, broad shoulders tapering into a strong chest, lean but striking, the cut of his hips dipping into the thick, aching proof of his arousal. His arms were strong and gorgeously toned. But it was the blood—streaked across his throat, dried against his knuckles, smeared over the ridges of muscle on his torso—that made your pulse stutter, made you squeeze your thighs together despite yourself.

A slow smirk curled on his lips as he watched you take him in, his hands finding your hips again, pressing against them, fingers digging in just enough to remind you who was in control.

His hand trailed up your spine, slow, deliberate, fingertips ghosting over the sensitive ridges of your back before pressing firm between your shoulder blades. A silent command. A demand. He pushed you down, bending you further over the counter, your chest meeting the cold surface.

A sharp shock of contrast coursed through you—the chill of the countertop biting at your bare skin while your body burned, throbbed, pulsed everywhere he had touched. Your nipples stiffened against the cool surface, the ache mingling with the unbearable heat twisting through your veins. 

“Now,” he rasped, his voice darker now, lower, aching with need. “Let’s see how good you look takin’ it.”

Behind you, he exhaled slowly, dragging his cock through your leaking arousal, teasing, coating himself in you.

“Fuckin’ soaked for me,” he muttered, almost in awe, almost reverent. “Drippin’ down your thighs, bunny. Ain’t even touched you properly yet.”

Your breath shuddered, your legs trembling as he pressed in, just the head pushing inside, stretching you open.

The burn was immediate, a sharp, toe-curling ache that had you whimpering, your hands scrambling against the counter, nails dragging against the surface. He was thick, too thick, too big, and he knew it, moving slow, forcing you to take every inch.

"Shhh," he hushed, voice syrup-thick with amusement, smoothing a hand over your lower back as he pushed in deeper. "You can take it, bunny. Bein’ so good for me."

Your walls clenched around him, the sheer stretch of him forcing your body to adjust, forcing your breath to come in ragged gasps as your head swam.

"That’s it," he murmured, voice almost soothing, his thumb stroking lazy circles over your hip, a small, almost mocking comfort as he split you open on his cock. "Givin’ me everythin’, huh? Knew you’d be so good."

He bottomed out with a deep, guttural groan, his fingers tightening on your hips as he held himself there, letting you feel just how deep he was.

Your forehead pressed against the counter, eyes squeezed shut, breath coming in sharp, uneven pants. The stretch was overwhelming, unbearable, too much.

And then he moved.

Not slow. Not gentle.

He pulled back halfway before slamming forward, the force of it shoving you up against the counter, a strangled cry escaping your lips as he set a brutal pace, hips slapping against your ass with every deep, unforgiving thrust.

"Fuck—look at you," he rasped, his grip tightening, dragging you back onto him every time you jolted forward. "Takin’ this cock so good, bunny. Soundin’ so pretty."

The praise made your stomach tighten, heat curling deep in your gut, your mind swimming in the overwhelming sensation of him fucking you open, taking you apart.

Every thrust was hard, precise, brutal, every inch of him forcing you to take more, to feel more, to drown in it.

His body leaned over you, fingers moving between your legs, finding your clit, rubbing slow, deliberate circles over the swollen flesh. You squirmed, body shaking as the pleasure ripped through you too fast, too hard, pushing you to the edge so quickly it was almost humiliating.

"There it is, bunny. Wanna feel this sweet, tight cunt come on my cock now," he muttered, his breath hot, ragged, teeth grazing your shoulder. "C’mon now. Give it to me."

Your body obeyed before your mind could catch up.

Your orgasm slammed into you like a fucking wrecking ball, pleasure crashing through you in violent, uncontrollable waves as your walls clenched around him, pulling him deeper, holding him inside you.

His groan was wrecked, almost desperate, his thrusts turning sloppy, frenzied, chasing his own high. But just when you thought you might drown in it, when you thought he might finish just like this, his hands moved again.

His fingers tangled in your hair, gripping tight at the base of your skull before he yanked you upright, pulling you flush against his chest.

Your breath hitched, your hands flying to the counter for balance.

The mirror loomed in front of you, your reflection raw and ruined, lips parted, sweat-damp hair clinging to your forehead, bruises blooming on your throat.

And behind you—he looked like something primal.

Eyes dark, predatory, hair falling into his face, his skin slick with sweat and streaked with blood. He kept you up against him with his arm snaking around you, the crook of his elbow at your throat, arm smattered with dry blood across your neck.

The sight of him—fucking you, wrecking you, devouring you whole— made your stomach convulse, a fresh wave of arousal pooling low.

His smirk curled against your jaw, his lips dragging against the shell of your ear as he fucked you harder, deeper, forcing you to watch.

"Eyes on the mirror, bunny," he murmured, voice thick with satisfaction, with possession.

Your pulse thundered, the haze of pleasure still thick, still overwhelming–

But then, his gaze flicked lower.

To the bed. To the body.

His thrusts slowed, just barely, just enough to make you feel the shift.

"Now, tell me somethin'," he muttered, his arm moving back enough to grab your chin with his hand, tilting your head just slightly.

Your eyes followed. The body lay still. Exactly where it had been.

But as you really got a look at the face turned towards you…

Your breath caught.

Your whole body locked up.

He watched you in the mirror, his smirk widening as your expression shifted, as the horror finally settled into your features.

"That’s right," he murmured, mock sympathy laced through his voice. "You know him, don’t you, bunny?"

The realization crashed down like ice water, freezing the lingering heat in your veins, making your stomach twist so violently you thought you might be sick.

A choked sound escaped you, something weak, something small.

Because you did.

The man lying motionless on the bed—

It was the man you had seen earlier.

The one who had been watching you.

The image slammed into you all at once.

That feeling. That thick, crawling awareness. The quiet, animal instinct that had made the hair on the back of your neck stand up, that had tightened your stomach before you even knew why.

You had seen him. Standing under that broken streetlight, just watching you.

Not moving, not speaking, not pretending to be anything other than what he was.

A predator.

And now he was dead.

“Oh my god,” you heard yourself say, somewhere in the distant haze of it all.

The room tilted, spun, a wave of cold terror slamming through you so hard it nearly sent you forward.

But before you could collapse under the weight of it, before you could fall completely into the abyss of fear choking you from the inside out,  the man slammed his cock into you again with a force so hard you cried out, the force of it shoving you forward, his arm back at your throat, keeping you against his chest, forcing you to take him deeper, to feel every brutal, punishing inch of him.

"Oh, that get you goin’, bunny?" His voice was low, mocking, thick with amusement as his grip tightened around your neck, forcing you to look. Your reflection stared back at you, ruined, wrecked, your eyes wide with fear, your body still trembling, still taking every brutal thrust he gave you.

"That why you’re squeezin’ me so fuckin’ tight? You like that? Liked knowin’ what I did for you?"

He slammed into you again, harder, deeper, forcing you to take it, forcing you to feel it.

"The thing is, bunny," he grunted, his breath ragged, his pace unrelenting, "I saw the way he was watchin’ you. Saw the way he was followin’ you from the second your car pulled in."

His fingers dug into your shoulder as his arm held you tight against him, his grip bruising, possessive as his mouth was hot in your ear.

"I saw the way he looked at you. That sick fuck was plannin’ somethin’. Could see it all over his face. I wanted to rip him apart the moment I saw him."

His thrusts grew rougher, sharper, more desperate, like the memory of it alone was sending something wild through him.

"So I did."

He exhaled against your cheek, his voice dropping so low it barely rose above the sound of skin slapping against skin.

"And then…" His pace never faltered, never softened, rolling his hips slow but deep, letting you feel every inch of him, letting you think about what you’d done. "I didn’t even have to come lookin’ for you."

His arm tightened on your throat, just enough to feel your pulse race beneath his bloodied skin.

"You found me, didn’t you, bunny?”

A soft chuckle, dark and pleased.

"Coulda kept walkin’. Coulda gone right back to your room, pretended you didn’t see a damn thing." His free hand continued the slow, taunting circles over your clit, too much and not enough all at once. It wasn’t just teasing—it was methodical, cruel, meant to keep you exactly where he wanted you, stuck between the horror twisting in your gut and the unbearable pressure building lower. "But you just had to see, didn’t you? Had to come find the monster all by yourself."

The words hit something deep again, because he was right.

You had been running from something all night, but it wasn’t just your family, wasn’t just the life waiting for you back home. You had been searching for something, something dangerous, something that made you feel, something that made your blood rush hot in your veins and your stomach twist in knots.

And when you had heard the body hit the floor, when you saw the blood on the doorstep—when your pulse had spiked, not from terror, but from something else entirely—you had known.

You could have ignored it. Should have locked yourself away in your room. Should have closed your eyes and forced yourself to sleep, but you hadn’t.

You had walked straight to him.

You had found him.

And now, he had you.

Your whole body tensed, your fingers curling against the countertop, your lungs locking up like they couldn’t decide whether to gasp for air or hold it in forever. The horror, the pleasure, the realization—it all crashed into you at once, an unbearable, unstoppable wave that swallowed you whole.

It was too much. The fear, the shame, the pleasure—all tangled together until there was no telling where one ended and the other began. The pressure in your stomach wound so tight it ached, so tight it burned, so tight it felt like it might rip you in two.

He kissed the corner of your jaw, slow and taunting, lips curling against your sweat-damp skin.

"You’re all mine now, little bunny." 

The pleasure hit like a shockwave, ripping through you, forcing a cry from your lips so raw you barely recognized it as your own. Your walls clenched down around his fingers, pulsing, spasming, locking onto him like they never wanted to let go.

Your body convulsed, trembling violently in his hold, wrung out so hard it almost hurt. Your head spun, your vision blurred, your pulse pounded between your legs as wave after wave dragged you under, over and over, pulling you deeper until there was nothing left but the aftermath—wreckage and ruin and the undeniable truth settling heavy in your chest.

"And you’re always gonna remember who got to you first."

The words should have felt like a brand, like a claim.

Maybe they did.

Maybe that’s why, when your vision finally cleared, when your gaze lifted to meet his black eyes in the mirror…

Your lips curled into a grin.

[nightunite]

slides u twenty dollars can we consider jealous johnny if he sees reader is only that avoidant with him and no one else… i don’t want to rush ahead in case you have something else planned but like, johnny hearing that there are rumors one of the baron’s newest maids is pregnant and the timing just lines up a little too well 😵‍💫😵‍💫

-noona bc tumblr refuses to let me send asks from sideblogs

Hiiiiiiiii Noona 💖

Thank you for the twenty, I'm gonna spend in on blind boxes, it's not an addiction, I can stop anytime I want. Spoilers concerning reader's pregnancy under the read more:

Gonna answer only the first part of this and save the second half because I don't wanna give away too much just yet. I will say that at the point this piece of the story takes place, our dear reader is indeed aware she's pregnant and has informed Konig, who insists on her having someone with her when she goes out into town. Anything could happen, and he fears the idea of her falling and harming herself or the baby, or having to do so much heavy lifting. They're just on friendly-ish terms though for now, as this isn't by the time reader has started showing, so no rumors have started flying yet. Also, curious how one section of this will be interpreted. Johnny exhaled as he stepped out of the shop, breath a thick fog in front of him as the winter chill set to work stinging his cheeks. Snow had fallen last night and stayed, keeping the roads slick. The thick woolen cap he wore snug around his head crushed down his signature hairstyle, but he'd rather have flat hair than a raw scalp. He rubbed his gloved hands along his wrists to fend off the shivers, the door behind him shutting with a clatter and the ring of bells as he moved along the walkway towards his next stop a few streets over. Four stores in, and he had yet to find what he was looking for. He wasn't entirely sure what that was, mind you, only that whatever it was remained elusive. It let him move about town all the same to get out of his house which had felt odd these past few weeks. Too loud, too quiet, achingly lonely yet also too many people nearby setting his nerves on edge. Impossible to get anything done, his irritation grew erratic like his thoughts. All he wanted was a moment of peace, a chance for his ever-restless thoughts to let him breathe lest he take it out on his staff.

Try as he might to deny it to himself, he knew why this happened. She wasn't there anymore. Packed up and left in the wee hours of the morn, when the fog was thick and the duchy silent as a graveyard. Didn't bother to inform him, merely the head maid whom had given him a look that said he was a fool. Shortly thereafter, word had gotten back to him that she had taken up a position in the Baron's home. He'd had to take a swift walk to handle that knotted up wad of string wrapped tightly in his gut.

If he were an honest man, he would say she hadn't truly been there even longer. It made his throat close up, the way she seemingly wasted away in his halls, sunken in on herself like a sunflower wilting in the frost. Like a cold snap at the start of winter, suddenly she had no time for him. Always quick to pull away from him, to find some task to do that kept her preoccupied from the start of the day until well past it. Hesitation whenever he asked her what was wrong, a momentary pause before she would tell him nothing was the matter, addressing him as 'my lord', as though the name she had permission to use would not escape her mouth.

Eyes always downcast, fixed on the floorboards or over his shoulder when she would bring herself to pretend to look him in the eye. Truth be told, he preferred it in some ways, the relief of not having that direct connection. At least then he didn't feel the weight of his inadequacy of caring for her, like a verdict cast down upon him. This way he could pretend that he was the man he was supposed to be. He stopped attempting to touch her in any way when he caught how she tensed, braced herself for contact. The kissing followed shortly thereafter, her strained smiles and broken laughter making him feel worse, like he never should have even tried. Anything further wasn't even on the table, and the thought of even broaching the subject made his insides churn. And so, he stopped. Filled his time with the other maids, though that never lasted long either. They weren't right; laughter too loud or high pitched, smile too far to one side, hair the wrong thickness between his fingers. It left him feeling further unease, as though he kept going down the wrong hallways in a maze that he had no chance of escaping. Like a picture set at the wrong angle, or shoes that are a size too small. It pinches him, makes something inside him pace like a beast in a cage, keeps him up at night. He knows what felt right, what kept him sated and content in his days. Eyes that gazed at him like he was her salvation, her sun, always turning towards him with a smile that made his own lips turn up. Soft hands even after hard work, rubbing over the calluses of his palms and stroking over any scars, pressing gentle kisses to them. Laughs and squeals that made his heart race like a schoolboy, cheeks flooded red with the desire to keep her that way, keep all of her attention on him. Even now as he turns the corner, he feels a small smile coming up from those memories, only to freeze awkwardly on his face.

Across the street there she walked, a small box wrapped in her free palm. He hadn't anticipated her being out, assuming she had remained indoors lest the chill finally do her in. He felt his breath leave his lungs at the sight while his blood raced at a fever pitch, heart beginning to hammer. She looked beautiful, the way she had before whatever had occurred at the duchy. Cheeks fuller than he had seen since this past fall, eyes bright and a small smile on her face, she looked radiant to him. Some piece of him, deep in his soul perhaps, relaxed in relief at the sight of her hale and hearty. Another part of him, a part of who he is as a man, feels the stirrings of bitterness at the fact she seems to flourish again once out of his reach. But he couldn't help the way he wanted to grit his teeth and snarl at who stood at her side. Baron Konig, the man who had poached her from him. Still draped in his silly shroud, he was covered head to toe, a thick peacoat covering him and sturdy boots making contact with the ground, clicks following. Even with the coat in the way, Johnny's eyes narrowed at the way her hand was tucked into the crook of his arm. Why does that bastard have the right to touch her? He must have said something under that hood, for she looked up at the Baron and let out a chuckle, breath pluming out for a moment before she responded with something that he nodded in return to. In his free arm he held several packages, looking for all the world as though they weighed nothing. To a man of that size, they probably didn't.

Johnny felt the acidic tendrils of jealousy lance through him, searing him from the inside out while he fought the need to bare his teeth and tear into the man. He couldn't help it, truly he couldn't. That should have been him with her, guiding her down the street while she looks up at him and laughs at whatever he tells her. Actually no, he thought, she shouldn't be out here at all. She should have been back in the duchy with him, playfully seated on his desk, fire roaring and keeping them both toasty while he pretended to work. He would reach out and cup her face, stroking the apple of her cheek, while she would lean in and reward him with a kiss for his hard work that day. A game they had played before, the two of them wrapped up against the bitter outside world, a secret shared between their hearts.

Why does she not look at him that way? What did he do to harm her? What must he do to have her return to him? Just look at him again, please. Even just a passing glance, something to show that she still recalls who he is, who he can be to her.

Words of adoration and touches that feel like absolution dissipate from his eyes, Johnny swallowing a small noise behind his teeth when he sees how she leans into the Baron so she can stretch slightly higher and say something in his ear. Never before has Johnny wished to be lesser in society so as to step forward and take her hand and pull her home, show everyone who she is meant for. Unable to bear the sight any longer he hunches his head into the collar of his coat and swiftly turns around. His attempts at finding peace have only led him to further turmoil.

As he heads back to his carriage, his thoughts circle over and over, ruminating and digging furrows into his sanity.

He doesn't deserve this, none of this. Not with a woman like that, not with her. When he returns to the house, he has letters to write.

[enbyenvy666]

May I request an a/b/o hitoshi shinso x cismale reader? They're all aged up, and a hero Shinso meets civilian reader. Just some fluffy interactions of shinso courting the reader, with a fluffy'n'smut ending? Thank you for your time!

wow this took so long to write lol

honestly i just took this idea and ran with it so i hope the wait was worth it ! also i haven't written for Shinso before so hopefully he isn't too ooc

(also he doesn't have a cannon hero name so i tried to get around that by the reader giving him a nickname instead)

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

CONTENT WARNINGS - 18+ MDNI, a/b/o, alpha!Shinso, omega!reader, slight scent and breeding kink, knotting, mating press, reader is a paramedic, reader treats shinso's minor wounds, fluff n smut, no beta we die like men w/c - 3.7k

Red and blue flashing lights made Shinso’s head hurt, straining his already tired eyes. Police cars and ambulances surrounded him and his fellow heroes, showing up after a particularly rough takedown. He had a couple of scrapes and bruises, but the paramedics wouldn’t let him leave before they assessed him. The only problem was, that there were others with more severe injuries than his own so it was taking a while.

As he sat on the curb, fiddling with his capture weapon, two work boot-clad feet entered his view. His purple eyes trailed up their legs, noticing the deep green uniform they wore with the paramedic shield embroidered over their chest pocket which held a couple of pens.

“Alright Mr. Hero, it’s your turn,” you grinned down at him, waving him towards one of the empty ambulances. He stood with a groan, feeling one of the cuts on his arm burn and sting. You climbed into the back of the ambulance, guiding Shinso to sit on the stretcher. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from you as you fluffed around his, slipping a sphygmomanometer around his arm and a pulse oximeter on his finger.

“Any pain anywhere?” You asked, and if he wasn’t looking at your lips he wouldn’t have noticed.

“No,” he muttered, watching how you gently inspected the cut on his arm. Even through the latex of the sanitised gloves, he could feel the warmth of your fingertips. Just when the band around his upper arm felt like it couldn’t get any tighter, it slowly deflated. You looked at the reading and smiled.

“Blood pressure is good.” But when you read the result of the oximeter, you frowned a little. Shinso didn’t like seeing you frown, and he wanted to do anything to see you smile again.

“Pulse is a little high,” you mumbled. If it was possible, he would’ve slowed his pulse at that moment, just to make this stranger happy. Readjusting the device on his finger, you also squeezed his hand in yours absentmindedly as you typed in his results onto your little laptop.

“I’ll keep this on a little longer, but otherwise you’re in good shape! I’ll just clean up your wounds a little and you should be good to go.” Finally, that smile was back on your face, showing off your pretty teeth while you changed your gloves.

The alcohol used to disinfect his cuts and scrapes stung, every time he would wince you would softly apologise. One by one, you tended to his wounds and with each bandage he felt himself growing more and more infatuated. As you softly dabbed an alcohol-soaked cotton pad over the smell scrapes near his hairline, he spotted something shiny under your uniform collar.

It was a scent-coating collar, torn and ragged around the edges, clearly old and worn out, but as he inhaled, he could smell the faint scent of you.

“You’re an omega,” he mumbled. You chuckled nervously, movements stuttering for a moment before you leaned away from him.

“Oh, yeah, guess I need a new one huh?” You joked, referring to the band that circled your neck. With a bandage in hand, you leaned back over Shinso and softly pressed it over the scrape, smoothing the edges down with your fingers.

“I’m just gonna check your eyes for any signs of a concussion,” you explained as you pulled out a pen from your pocket, clicking the small button on the side of it. The end lit up, and you pointed it towards his eyes.

“You should be fine… just making sure because you did hit your… head.” You trailed off, too concentrated on the way his pupils contracted and expanded. The way you bit your lip made his heart flutter, and he almost got worried the oximeter would read too high again. But that would mean he would get to stay with you longer so maybe it wasn’t a bad thing.

“Just keep staring at my nose.” Gladly. The light flickering in and out of his vision irritated his eyes even more, so he was thankful when you pocketed the pen and smiled.

“Alright, you’re good to go!” He almost wished there was something wrong just so you would stay with him, but alas, he left the ambulance. All of the other ambulances and police cars were gone, leaving just you, him and your partner.

“Thank you,” he said softly.

“No problem, Mr. Hero,” you grinned back.

“It’s-“ The walkie on your belt started barking out codes and addresses, to which you grimaced. Must not be good.

“Shit, gotta go,” you muttered, quickly turning and rushing back into the passenger seat of the ambulance. Your partner got in the driver's seat, and just before they turned on the lights and sirens, you leaned out the window and shouted goodbye to Shinso. He couldn’t stop his lazy grin as he waved back at you, watching you zoom away, off to save someone’s life, he presumed.

He didn’t realise how much of an impact you made on him until he had another rough take down and you weren’t one of the paramedics that showed up. He felt disappointed, and the way the paramedics tended to his injuries wasn’t as gentle as you were. He wasn’t sure why, but he missed you.

It took some searching, but eventually, he found you at an ambulance station during one of your few breaks from being on the road helping patients. As you were taking stock of the inventory in your ambulance, Shinso’s messy indigo hair.

“Hi Mr.Hero,” you greeted happily, climbing down from the back of the ambulance, clipboard in hand.

“What can I do for you? If you’re looking for medical assistance I’m required to tell you to go to the hospital, I can take you there if you need?”

“No, I’m okay,” Shinso denied. While your eyes flashed with confusion, the same gentle yet gleeful smile stayed on your lips.

“I just wanted to thank you.”

“Oh! There’s no need, I’m just doing my job,” you dismissed with a wave of your hand. It looked soft, and he wanted to hold it, brush his thumb over your knuckles, or maybe his lips. To stop him from grabbing your hand and doing just that, he fiddled with his capture weapon, just like he was doing when he first laid eyes on you.

While he didn’t like you denying your hard work as ‘just part of the job’, he understood where you were coming from. He often has the same mentality when it comes to being a hero, and that makes him feel closer to you.

“I also wanted to,” he hesitated, feeling an unusual anxiety bubbling up into his throat. Why did this feel so difficult?

“Ask you to dinner.”

Your smile dropped, and so did Shinso’s stomach. Your cheeks grew warm as you looked away from the hero, covering your mouth with your hand to hide your giddy grin. If you had a tail, it would’ve been wagging at the speed of sound. Composing yourself, you looked back at Shinso, but nervously couldn’t meet his hooded eyes.

“I’d love to.”

The weight on his shoulders lifted, and he quietly sighed in relief with the faintest smile. But as soon as you started to organise when to go out, you both realised that your schedules didn’t align very well. Shinso kept on his stoic appearance even as he felt his hopes crumble. Was this really how it ended, before it even started, all because of conflicting schedules?

But finally, there was a night when you and him were free. It was a month away, but at least it was something. That date is what carried him through work. On tough days, he would remind himself of his dinner with you, counting down the days until it finally arrived.

He couldn’t believe how nervous he felt, but at least his stoic demeanour didn’t betray that fact. The flame of the candle on the table flickered and swayed, Shinso’s purple eyes watching its every move. Time felt like it was moving too slowly. What felt like ten minutes of watching the flame dance was truly only a minute, but every second of it made him more and more anxious.

The longer he waited, the more he fretted that you weren’t going to show up. Perhaps the month's wait had given you enough time to change your mind. Tugging on his sleeves and collar didn’t help to cool him down, but it was the only sign that he was upset. Just as he was about to get up and leave, the chair across from him was pulled back.

“I’m so sorry I’m late!” How could he be mad at you? Your skin glowed in the candlelight, your lips parted in an apologetic smile that showed your beautiful teeth (even with any imperfections). You sat down before holding up a single rose in your hand and handing it to him.

“As an apology.”

“I wasn’t sure what kind you liked,” you explained sheepishly, hands nervously fiddling in your lap under the table.

“Don’t worry, it’s perfect,” he smiled softly. Thankfully dinner continued without a hitch, except for when a fan wanted a picture with Shinso. He was annoyed until he caught you stifling a giggle across the table. He loved to see you laugh.

When dinner was over, he didn’t want to say goodbye, even as you stood outside the restaurant, a cab waiting, he didn’t want to let go of your hand. It just fit so well in his. As you turned to him, looking up into his tired eyes, you smiled.

“I had a really good time,” you admitted, squeezing his hand. Lifting up onto your toes, you pressed a kiss to his cheek. While it was only quick, to Shinso it felt like an eternity. Your soft lips on his skin, your scent clouding his senses, your palm on his chest to steady yourself. It took everything in him to not sweep you off your feet at that moment and claim you as his omega. But alas, you stepped away, with a final call for him to text you before you climbed into the taxi.

He was more infatuated than ever, finding more and more opportunities to visit you at the ambulance station. After learning your favourite snacks, he would drop them off for your lunch or dinner if you were working later. Sometimes he’d even leave flowers and on a Valentine’s Day when you were working, he left chocolates and a stuffed bear.

On nights when it was too late for a date but you were both free, you would talk on the phone for hours.

“And then she tried to hit me when I tried to check her blood pressure! I get that no one likes it, but come on! There’s no need to get violent,” you ranted.

“I know what you mean, I feel like old ladies just want to let their anger out at anyone who cares. One time I got a lady's purse back from a robber and she yelled at me for swinging her purse around too much,” Shinso replied with a soft chuckle. You bit your lip when you heard the sound. It was melodic.

“I mean, we’re just trying to help, aren’t we?” You agreed, rolling onto your stomach, legs idly swinging behind you.

“How did you go after the handoff today?” Shinso asked, running his fingers through his soft hair as he also lounged on his bed. Earlier that day, he caught a man in a hit-and-run who didn’t quite like being held accountable. He was claiming he had chest pains which meant an ambulance had to be called, and Shinso was super happy when he saw you climb out of the vehicle.

“He got worse once you and the cops were gone, the asshole even ripped off my collar,” you grumbled. Shinso felt possessiveness and anger at the thought of that guy putting his hands on you and harming you.

“You weren’t hurt, were you?” He asked.

“I’m fine, my partner managed to subdue him until we got him to the hospital.” It eased his worries to hear you were unharmed, but he was still worried about you.

“Are you doing anything tomorrow night?” He asked, chewing on the inside of his cheek. Your hum through the speaker sounded like a soothing drone, he could use it as white noise if he wanted to.

“Don’t think so, why?”

“Do you want to come over? Dinner and a movie at my place?” Your legs kicked behind you like an excited teen, butterflies swarming your stomach.

“I’d love to.”

Both you and Shinso slept with grins, excited for the next evening. Work felt like a breeze, nothing could get you down when you knew you would be seeing Shinso when your shift ended. He felt the same, if not more excited and anxious.

Before you knew it, you were standing on his doorstep, fist raised shakily to knock on the door. As soon as your knuckles hit the wood, it swung open, revealing Shinso. He must’ve been waiting on the other side of the door.

He invited you in, to which you graciously accepted. You didn’t miss how he held one arm behind his back, but you were too distracted by looking around his home to say anything. It was cute, and you noticed the cat toys strewn about. Shinso cleared his throat, your attention now trained on him.

“I got something for you,” he mumbled, revealing the box he was keeping hidden. He seemed nervous, which made you feel anxious in return. With ginger touches, you took the box and opened it enough to peek inside. It was a collar, amethyst in colour with shining silver metal on the buckle. A definite upgrade from your last one.

“Shinso!” You gasped, picking it up from the box. The inside of it was soft so it wouldn’t irritate your skin, and you could smell that slightly chemical scent that would cover yours.

“It’s beautiful!”

“Do you like it?” He still asked, wanting to quell his anxiety.

“I love it,” you grinned, wrapping your arms around his waist, and pulling him into a tight hug. He quickly reciprocated, head tucked into your shoulder. Without the old collar, he could smell your scent entirely. It was sweet, intoxicating. You pulled away and turned your back to him while holding up the collar.

While he wished you didn’t have to cover your scent, he still complied, clipping on the collar, wanting to do anything to make you happy. Using your phone as a mirror, you admired how the piece looked around your neck, unable to hold in your excited squeal.

Pulling the hero in for another hug, you muttered repeated thank yous. He held you in his arms as you pulled back to look up at him. Shinso’s smile was soft, but it was enough to make you feel jittery. With your gaze locked on his, the world around you fell silent.

Slowly, he leaned down, lips meeting yours in a kiss so passionate it made your knees weak. But you weren’t worried, you knew he would catch you. His hands groped and tugged on your body, palms rough from years of hero work. Your hands found his hair, threading through the soft strands. Everything grew heated, clothes striped and initial date plans pushed to the side until you were finished.

The rest of the night felt feather light, and like there was a warm glow around Shinso, the edges of your vision tinted in rose. Dinner tasted like magic because he cooked it. And the movie was perfect because he picked it. Everything about him was amazing. You were on cloud nine, even as you went to bed alone in your home.

But that all changed by the next morning. Your body felt hot, coated in a sheen of sweat, and struggling to breathe. Stumbling out of bed and making your way to the bathroom, you could feel the slick between your thighs and realise how hard you were. Your reflection showed your sweat-dotted face and messy hair. Your cheeks didn’t cool even after you splashed cold water on your face, so all you could do was slink back into bed.

Your encounter with Shinso last night must’ve had more of an effect on you than you thought, leaving you in heat and needing more. Even as your hands shook, you managed to dial the man in question.

“Hello?” He spoke into the phone. His voice made you whimper, which he heard.

“‘toshi,” you whimpered.

“Is everything okay, baby?” He asked.

“Need you. So bad,” you panted, unable to resist the temptation of palming yourself through your underwear.

“What’s wrong?” The concerned tone in his voice was noticeable.

“In, ah, heat.” You swore you could hear him fumble the phone.

“I’ll be right there okay? Just hold on for me.” He hung up, much to your chagrin as you wanted to keep listening to his voice. It felt like an eternity before he finally showed up. You met him at the door, almost tackling him the second the door opened. He managed to get you back inside, even as you tried to climb him like a tree.

With your arms and legs wrapped around him, he carried you back inside, trying to ignore the way your scent made his body react. He felt himself growing hard, and a hot flush washed over his body. He wanted nothing more than to fuck you right then and there, but he needed to wait a little while longer, then he could have you. Carrying you to your bedroom was the easy part, but getting you to let go of him was another level of difficulty.

You ended up just dragging him onto the bed with you, desperately clawing at his back to keep him close, to drown in him. His hands shook, his grip on you wavering as he fought his urges. As much as he wanted to breed you, he wanted to make his omega as comfortable as possible. 

Finally unlatching you from his body, leaving you to whine and squirm on the bed. Hitoshi shrugged the duffle bag off his shoulder, one you hadn’t even noticed. Blanket after blanket, he pulled them from the bag and placed them around you on the bed, creating a nest for you. 

“I wanted to bring pillows but I didn’t have enough room-” your lips collided with his, arms pulling him close till your body was flush against his. 

“It’s perfect,” you whispered between kisses, slowly pulling him down to the bed. Desperately needing air, he parted from your kiss as your back hit the mattress. You looked like a god below him, the sweat dotting your skin made your body glow. Your hands cupped his face, warm palms on warmer cheeks. 

“Please Hitoshi, make me your omega, be my alpha.” All self-control left him when he heard those words fall from your sweet lips. Capturing your lips once more, his needy hands started pulling on your clothes, desperately wanting to feel your bare skin against his. He couldn’t get them off fast enough, almost resorting to tearing them off when your lips trailed down his neck. Your scent had flooded his senses, his vision clouded fuchsia and all he could think about was you, you, you. 

The moment your underwear was pushed down enough, your hand travelled down between your thighs, fingers collecting the slick around your hole before gently but eagerly pressing them inside. You couldn’t wait for Hitoshi to undress himself, and the sight of you preparing yourself for his cock was something he never wanted to forget. As soon as his clothes were off, his fingers prodded your entrance. Reluctantly you removed your fingers, but you were given little time to dwell before his thicker digits fingered you. 

You occupied your hand by jerking your cock, the wetness on your fingers helping your hand glided smoothly. There were practically hearts in Hitoshi’s eyes as he watched your face contort with pleasure, your eyebrows knitting together when he added a third finger to your wet hole. 

He couldn’t wait any longer, retracting his fingers and hooking your knees over his shoulders. Using your slick as lube on his cock, he pressed his tip to your tight ring of muscle, biting his lip to hold in a hiss of pleasure when he slowly thrusted himself inside you. You, however, moaned unabashedly as his cock carved itself inside you, making it fit perfectly like two puzzle pieces. 

Hitoshi was quick to start an even pace, pressing your knees to your shoulders so his cock could thrust even deeper inside you. You couldn’t grab him in this position as much as you wished you could, instead twisting his blankets in a white-knuckled grip. Your eyes rolled back, swearing he was rearranging your guts at that very moment. Hitoshi couldn’t stop his groans as he felt your walls cling to his cock, pulling him back in every time his hips pulled away. 

Precum dribbled from your tip, leaving glistening droplets on your stomach. The purple-haired man above you leaned down, pressing his forehead against yours to inhale your scent, angling his cock to hit your prostate in the process. Each thrust against the spot sent shockwave after shockwave of pleasure through your body, making your fingers and toes tingle. 

Groans turned to growls as Hitoshi felt his peak building, his knot beginning to swell. He rut could only rut himself inside you, letting go of your knees to wrap his arms around your arched back instead, bodies pressed together. Your ankles quickly locked behind his back, preventing him from pulling out, as if he even wanted to, nails leaving red marks across his shoulder blades. Hitoshi tucked his head between your neck and shoulder, teeth brushing against your skin, but not yet biting down. 

“Mine, mine, mine,” he growled over and over, his voice straining and growing in pitch until he reached his peak, ropes of cum coating your insides as his teeth finally sunk into flesh. The feeling of him filling you with his seed, his knot locking you together, and him officially making you his omega brought you to orgasm. Hitoshi’s hips finally stilled, panting against your neck as you both came down from your highs. Your fingers played with his soft hair, unable to stop a smile from gracing your lips. 

Hitoshi pressed a soft kiss to the bite mark on your shoulder before lifting his head. He smiled softly, threading his fingers with yours as he kissed you deeply. 

“My omega.”

-----

i hope you enjoyed :) also writing the next chapter of personal pornstar so stay tuned ;)

[entername322]

Someone like you

Chaewon (ex Izone, Le Sserafim) x Male Reader

Length: 17666 words

TW: Abusive relationship

Next part

Pain, that's all you can say about yourself. Why does falling in love always have a risk of heartbreak? Sometimes you wonder if the risk outweighs the gains. For your particular case, it doesn't, it never has. “...... and then I came home to see him decorated the whole place with flowers and candles. Isn't he so romantic?” Right, flowers and candles, you know where that was going. “Yeah, that sounds great Chae”, It felt like your heart was being plucked out of your heart and set on fire. Why is your love stronger than your heart, if only your love breaks before your heart does. “He's so romantic sometimes, I love him so much-, Awwww”, Her cries of pain distract you from the twisting feeling your chest feels.

“I'm sorry Chae”, You steady your hands and continue stitching her wounds. “It's fine, thanks for this Pup, I owe you a lot”, You cringed a little hearing her nickname for you. “Chae we're both grown up now can you please stop calling me that?” It's a cute nickname, which only hurts you more realising that this is as far as you can get from being with her. “No, you will always be the cute little puppy”, Yes you are, who's a good puppy? The guy who keeps simping for his crush even after she's been in a relationship for a year now. It's you by the way, you're the good puppy, so loyal to your master. “There, all done, now just the bandages”, A good puppy who has graduated from medical school, hey that means you can take care of your master even better now. “Is it really okay for you to do this for free?” What dog would ask their owner for money? Alright let's lay off the dog jokes, you're still lame by the way.

“It's fine, they're cheap”, Even if they aren't, you wouldn't charge her anything right? “Thank you, I really mean it. I don't know how I can even repay you pup”, Chae grabbed your arm, her warm palm felt like a red hot iron that scorched your skin. “Yeah, it's fine. It's my job to care for people's lives after all”, You tried your best to smile at her, to show her you're doing this out of the goodwill of your heart. “You're just so, kind and stupid sometimes. If only he can be more like you”, She muttered the last part but it was loud enough for you to hear it. It fucking hurts, so fucking painful hearing something so ignorantly brutal. “So, how's work? Everything is fine in the hospital?” If Chaewon noticed your pained smile then she doesn't show it. “Nothing interesting is happening so far, although there's an offer for a transfer. I haven't read much about it but it will be a year long ‘voluntary work’. It's not fully voluntary though because we're gonna get paid decently, and we're gonna be working with a few other volunteers from all over the country”, Chaewon tilted her head curiously, “Are you gonna take it?” You were surprised to hear her words. It caught you off guard so you didn't get to hear a little hint of anxiousness in her words.

“I don't know, it's interesting”, Maybe that's what you need, a time away from your crush. “Oh, I'm sure you'll do great in it”, Chaewon smiles encouragingly, which only hurts you even more. Honestly, what were you expecting? Did you think she would ask you to stay here? Tell you how much she needs her and doesn't want you to leave? Come on bro, she's not like that. “Yeah, I was thinking about taking it”, You didn't really mean that when you say that, however seeing her genuine encouraging smile made you really consider it for real. “Well, I need to go home, thanks again for today pup, I owe you a lot”, Chaewon stood up with a smile on her face ready to leave. “Yeah see you later Chae”, You just sit there watching her leave your place while a storm is brewing in your mind. 

“Fuck”, You muttered to yourself, completely unaware that Chaewon is also cursing herself once she left your house. “Goddamnit pup why do you have to leave. You idiot”, The stinging pain in her arm is gone, covered with the sour mood she felt in her heart. “It's been years already and you're still waiting for me”, Oh, she does notice your feelings it seems. Of course she does, the two of you have known each other for years now. The memory of your meeting plays very differently between you and Chaewon's mind. For her she remembers how clumsy and cute you were, stumbling over your own words, overdosing on teenage hormones because of talking to a girl. For you it was an embarrassing attempt at making a friend on your first day of highschool, something that would keep you up at night with cringe.

“Idiot”, She kicked a can on the road out of frustration, but it's not enough so she started stomping on it with the hope of burying down the guilt that's building inside her. It's not that she wanted to use you, but…… she's just busy, or so she thinks. Her boyfriend, uhhhhh his name is irrelevant, is a hassle to deal with. She loves him, he's kind and caring and honest and cute and kind….. it's just sometimes he loses his tempers. Sometimes he would, lash out and accidentally hurt her, but he never meant to do so. It's getting better now (It's not) his outburst is getting less frequent (Pretty sure the ideal and normal frequency is 0) and he always tries to make it up to her (With empty promises and lies). 

Chaewon stops stomping on the poor can and just stares at the sky, finally realising it won't help erase the guilt she's having. On her defence she wanted to help you get over your crush for her. She cares about you, and she wants what's best for you. She wanted to introduce you to her friends, let you fall in love with someone who will love you back. Sometimes she thinks about a future where you date someone else, then you and her can be platonic friends, a brother from a different mother. It's just that, when her boyfriend got mad, and she got hurt, she can't run to the hospital because they would pester her about it. She can't run to most of her friends or family because they would also pester her, you're the only one who can help her. You were, the only one who would enable her. Young people, they're so dumb sometimes, both you and her included.

“Haaaaa, why can't we just be friends”, Chaewon sighed, she's not blaming you for your feelings, it would be hypocritical for her to judge someone's feelings when she's being chained by her own feelings. When you told her about the project she wanted to say don't take it, she wants you to stay here, to help her. Thankfully she recognises how selfish she is, and encourages you to leave, to get over your own feelings. It hurts, it feels wrong, seeing you break away from your feelings. Perhaps she yearns to have the courage to break free of her own chains. “I'm back”, Chaewon put on a smile as she got back to her place, “Welcome back babe, how was your day”, Of course for now she can only put on a smile and let herself fall deeper into the abyss.

“Are you sure? You know it won't be an easy trip right?” It's been a week since that talk with Chaewon, and today you are finalising your proposal of joining the volunteer work to your boss. “I'm sure sir, beside…… I need some time away from this place”, Is running away considered a solid reason for joining a harsh voluntary work? “Hmmm, well, if your only reason for taking this job is just a getaway from whatever shit you're dealing here, I suggest don't”, You flinched hearing your boss. “I think I can handle the job boss”, You tried to sound tough, “You know, I always pity you”, That's kinda harsh. “You are a good guy, smart and very nice. You're just too nice I sometimes hope you didn't get scammed and used by other people”, Yeah that sounds kinda familiar alright.

“I want to try something new. I think I can handle the work, and it might help me too”, If you say that with a little more conviction it would sound cool you know. “Haaaaa, youngsters with their self-finding journeys”, He shook his head and signed the form, “Comeback here, in one piece”, A smile form on your face before you quickly nod and bow to him. It's odd, you don't exactly feel excited about it, but you don't feel scared or disappointed about leaving everything behind, you're just numb to it. “Stop daydreaming and prepare the other documents you need”, Your boss slammed his hand on the desk waking you up. “Ahhh right, thank you boss”, He shook his head and sighed seeing your awkwardness, “I really hope you didn't get shot out there”, He's joking right?

After submitting the rest of the paperwork you went back home, had a nice call with your mom where she absolutely desecrated you with her words. “Are you insane? You're doing volunteer work in an active warzone?” Holy shit you are? “I'm not working in the warzone itself, I'm just a civilian mom. I'll be at the refugee camp, away from the battlefield”, That's the word you keep repeating to her for hours before she finally calms down. “Just, tell me it's not because of that Chaewon girl”, 2 hours and 16 minutes into the call your mom finally asked the right question. “No, of course not mom”, You can't lie to your mom, she's the one who teaches you how to lie to your dad. “Are you an idiot? Did I spend months carrying you around and 20 years plus feeding and taking care of you just to have you die somewhere because of a heartbreak?” Oooffff, why can't you be more like your mom?

“No mom, it's I think I-”, A knock on your apartment door can be heard, “Hey pup, are you there?” Speak of the devil. “Mom I'll call you later”, Your voice came off shaky and anxious, the time has come to test your resolve of running away. “Yeah, just a second”, Take a deep breath, calm your nerves and try not to lose your composure.

“What happened?” Come on now, you know what happened, “It's not a big deal, just a scratch”, You reached out and grabbed her face, inspecting her cheek. Chaewon smiles seeing your concerned face, you've always been awkward and shy around her, except when she's injured. When she got a scar you would just disregard your shyness just to make sure she's fine, it's a cute gesture she always likes about you. “I guess, it really is just a scratch”, You sighed relief seeing it wasn't a deep cut, then you realised how you are holding her and immediately let go as your face turns into a tomato. What happened to maintaining your composure?

“So?” Chaewon just tilted her head cutely, “Are you gonna invite me in?” That's a pretty ambiguous question, would you let her in again? “Right come on in”, You're hopeless sometimes. Chaewon sat down at your living room, silently noticing the packed up bag you had in your room. Her heartbeat rises as she realises what it means, some part of her wants to deny it but the other part knows that your leave was inevitable. “Tea?” She smiles and nods as you go and prepare her some of her favourite tea, of course you have her favourite tea at your house. “So, what happened?” You asked after giving her a warm cup of tea, “You know, the usual. He had a stressful day at work, I was also kinda tired from mine and we just clashed”, Usually the ‘clash’ that happens is between her and his fist.

“Well, you know what I want to say right?” Chae shrugged before she stood up and walk towards your cat, “Little Luna is getting fat aren't you?” Chaewon picked her up and started pinching her stomach. “She's gonna cut your face you know that right?” Chaewon laughed and sat back next to you while still holding Luna. “Well, I'm sure you trained her not do that right?” Her smile is such a deadly weapon to your conviction. “It's a cat Chae, you don't train them, they'll train you”, And to hammer this point Luna let out a loud meow and scratched Chaewon's hand. “Luna '', You scolded the fat cat as she jumped off Chaewon's lap, “Hehehe, one day I'll make her enjoy my cuddles”, Chae laughed as you examined her arm.

“We should clean this up”, It's really not that bad, it's just a little cut on the epidermis, “It's really not that deep bro”, You flicked her head and cleaned up her hand as she teases you for over your perfectly reasonable hygiene. “So, can I crash the night here?” Her question made you stop in your tracks, not because it caught you off guard, but because you know she only asked if things really went bad at her place. “Pup?” Chae was taken off guard seeing how quiet you've become, “Chae, I…… can't do this anymore”, She raises her eyebrow hearing you. “Do what?” You sighed and finished cleaning up her hand before sitting in front of her.

“I can't, keep letting you hurt yourself because of-”, You start talking without thinking and Chae immediately bites back, “Stop it, I don't want to hear that from you”, She felt awful for raising her voice but she really doesn't want to hear those things. “Well this might be the last time you ever hear it from me ever again”, You blurted out, making her heart stop for a moment, “What?” Her voice sounds squeaky and vulnerable. “Chae, I'm leaving”, Seeing her suddenly had glassy eyes made you second guess yourself. “For how long?” It's hard for her to accept it, “The volunteer work is one year long, but it might be longer since I'm gonna arrive early to have some field training”, You can't look her in the face, it's painful for you to see her so hurt with the notion of you leaving. 

The two of you sit in silence for a while, Luna moves to your lap and starts purring as if she realised you're having a tough time right now. “Is it-”, Chae’s voice broke and she took a second to calm herself down, “Is it final already?” Yet it still came out all squeaky. You didn't answer for a second, hearing her concern for your leave felt nice. It's a dangerous bait, she's giving a false hope that getting her is actually plausible if you stay here. “Yes”, "Oh you actually didn't take the bait, good job, “I already submitted the required paperwork and they already approved it. My flight is in 3 days”, In your mind, you just think Chaewon is trying to use you.

After all this time you finally opened your eyes and saw that she's out of reach, she was never going to like you the way you like her. Obviously you don't really see the complex feelings she has for you but hey at least you're taking a step in the right direction. “How long were you planning to keep this away from me?” Seeing her being aggressive made you feel bitter, you hate seeing her with this new lens. “I didn't know how to tell you, besides…… I didn't think you would care”, Suddenly Chae grabbed your face forcing you to look at her. 

“You're my best friend, of course I care. Just because I encourage you to go doesn't mean you should just leave without saying anything”, It's painful, finally realising that the person you care the most is inherently toxic. You're not saying that she's in a toxic relationship because she's also toxic, but she has certainly dragged you into one because she is selfish. Chaewon needs you, because you're the only one who would enable her Stockholm syndrome. “It's just…… I don't know if I can face you”, You pull back your head away from her grip and look back at Luna who's acting cute to cheer you up. “What was that supposed to mean? You can't tell your best friend for, 8 or 9 years that you're leaving? And you just want me to accept that suddenly you went missing without saying anything?” 

“Chae….. you know I liked you right”, Silence fills the room, you anxiously wait for her responses, hoping that somehow she can break the new image you had for her. Yet the silence was long and the curiosity you had is too loud to ignore, so you raise your head and look her in the eyes. She wasn't surprised, or confused, or angry, she just had the look of understanding, “I know”, Those words flowed out of her mouth. It was so quiet that it was barely a whisper, yet it echoed through you like a thunderclap. When the ringing subsided the only thing you can hear is the loud crash of your heart breaking into a million pieces. She knew, this whole time she knew about it and never said anything. Had she enjoyed watching you squirm and dance for her while your feelings laid bare like an open wound? Was it some cruel game to her?

Chaewon felt regretful, seeing your heart break right in front of her is tormenting her conscience. It's inevitable, yet she was not prepared for how painful it was for her as well. “I know, and I'm sorry I never said anything-”, Chaewon saw you stand up and stop talking. “I….. god, this whole time?” Tears start to flow down your cheek, “I never meant to use you, I just, don't know what to say to you”, Chae reaches for your hand, her touch sending shivers down your spine, but not the comforting kind like it used to. It feels calculated, manipulative, a stark contrast to the warmth you once associated with it.

Chae sees the disdain you had in your eyes and it made her scared. Scared of losing you, scared of seeing you lose your temper, and worst of all, scared of having to confront the consequences of her actions. “Pup-”, You pull back your hand making her flinch, “Don't call me that. You….. you like seeing me like that didn't you? Being a good puppy, chasing you around, wagging my tail like a loyal dog”, Your words came out as a thunderous roar that made her squirm in her seat. “No, of course not, please I'm sorry, can we talk this out first”, Chaewon reached out to grab your hand again before pulling you to sit back down. “I….. I can't, you're just…….. I….. this whole time…..”, You just keep muttering to yourself. “Please sit down, I'm sorry I messed up okay? Can you please hear me out first?” Chae pleaded as tears also started to pour down her face. Those tears, they're real, but not to you, you think you know better and managed to see through her ‘manipulation tactics’. You grabbed your phone on the table and just stormed off the apartment, running as far away as you can from her.

Chae wanted to stop you, to reach out and grab you, yet her vision is blurred and she can't even see you leave the front door as the floodgates burst open. She can't even hear you slam the front door as she starts to cry her heart out. Her actions can only lead to one outcome, and she knows the longer she stalls the confrontation the worse the fallout is going to be. Unfortunately in her delusion she hopes that one day you'll just let go of your feelings and everything will be good. Your apartment, once a safe haven for her, is now empty and devoid of your warmth. The ‘beautiful friendship’ built upon the unspoken words between the two of you has crumbled like a house of cards by a single gust of wind. Hours passed away before her tears finally dried out. Chaewon lay down on the couch devoid of energy, all she can do right now it's just text you hoping that you'll answer her. 

You on the other hand are being absolutely ripped apart by your mom, “You ran all the way here?” Her voice boomed around the house. “Haaaaa, Haaaa, haaaaa, nooo……” Your whole body is drenched by sweat, your mom's place is like a 30 minute train ride and you just ran there like a mad man. “You idiotic rascal, tell me what you did”, Your mom starts slapping you as you are dying from exhaustion. It took a while for her to calm down and give you a drink. Throughout your recollection of what happens your mom keeps the same expression, it was the ‘I told you so’ expression. Once you finished the two of you just sat there in silence, you wanted to say something but words just couldn't come out of your mouth. “Haaaaaa, go take a shower and get some rest darling, you're all sweaty and smelly”, You nod before going back to your childhood bedroom.

As you finish a long hot shower you see Chaewon has messaged you almost a hundred times already alongside a few missed calls. You just stare at the notification, too scared to open it. In the end your fatigue overtake you and you slowly drift off to sleep without reading her texts. The next day you silently join your mom at breakfast, she sees that you're not ready to talk yet so she just silently acknowledges it before giving you farewell as she went to work. The day passes by slowly,  it doesn't help that you were just laying down on the bed as you rethink what happened last night. Is Chaewon really a toxic bitch, or was she just a product of her environment. Are you seriously trying to give her a pass for what she did? Okay yeah she's your friend for years now and you've seen her slowly turn from this confident and unapologetic girl into a meek abuse victim. However does that excuse her behaviour of leading you on for years? 

No, I need to give her the benefit of the doubt. I need to hear what she has to say at least. One chance, after all I'll be gone soon and I might not be able to see her again for a long time.

Alright, if that's what you want, just know you might lose yourself in her eyes again. “Mom, I need your opinion on something”, That's not exactly a polite way to greet your mom when she gets home. However she nods and follows you to the living room where you recounted your dramatic talk with Chaewon. “Darling, look at me”, Your mom grabbed your hand, “You are being an idiot a hundred percent”, Jeez thanks mom. “But if she is as manipulative as you said she was then it's also not fully your fault. After all, you can't really blame a victim fully for being taken advantage of”, Hey that's not an encouragement for your stupid idea. “Yeah, you're right mom….. I guess a toxic environment would make toxic people right?” Fucking hell you're hopeless. “What? Are you letting this slide already?” Thank fuck your mom wouldn't let such stupidity pass, “No, I just…. I guess I want to understand why she did it. After all I'm gonna be away for a year at least and if I don't get this straight then I might spend the better part of my time being distracted by her”, That's not a convincing argument, at least not for your mom.

“ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? You just said she's a manipulative bitch and now you want to run back to her with the risk of you falling for her trap again?” It felt kinda nice, channelling the pain you're having in your heart with your mom's beating, however you should stop her before she accidentally kills you. “Mom, I just want to leave this place with some peace in mind, okay? Can you just trust me this one time?” The answer is no, but she took a deep breath before she examined you slowly. “I'll trust you just this once, how do you plan to meet her again?” Relief and determination washes over you seeing that your mom has agreed to let you have closure. “I'll text her tonight hopefully we can have lunch before I leave in two days”, Solid plans, surely nothing bad would happen. “Fine, now go order something for dinner, I'm starving”

You: Hey, sorry about yesterday 

Chae: Where are you? Why did you ghost me for the whole day? Do you have any idea how worried I was?

You: No sorry Chae I'm at my mom's house already. Sorry for running off like that yesterday 

Chae: It's fine, are you coming back?

You: Not today, I need some sleep to clear my mind.

Chae: Then, can we talk tomorrow?

You: I hope so. Can we meet up at lunch?

Chae: That would be nice, I'm sorry too.

You: Yeah, guess we were too hot headed last night 

Chae: Yeah, I'll see you back here at your place tomorrow then?

You: You're still there?

Chae: Duhhhh, you left with your keys dangling on your phone, what am I supposed to do? Leave the door unlocked so someone can break in?

You: Oh yeah, I forgot. I'll come by at lunch then, I'll see you tomorrow.

Chaewon has been spending the day with her mind full of anxiety. She's scared that you might do, something drastic. The fact that you didn't answer or even read her text made her think of the worst possibility. However when you finally reply she lets out a sigh of relief knowing that you're fine. Tomorrow, she has to apologise to you, she has to make sure you leave on a high note. If things go wrong and you leave before she can mend this friendship then the two of you would never recover from it. She can't let that happen, after all you're also an important part of her life. Even though it wasn't in the way that you wanted it to be.

You see, the thing about life, it has a humorous side. To whom might the humour cater to? Nobody knows really, but it certainly wasn't aimed at you and Chaewon. “Chae come home now”, Those words are the things Chae feared the most. After every fight her boyfriend has two possible routes he will default too. One, surprise her with gifts and romantic gestures to make sure she remembers how nice he can be. Second, he can double down and try to ‘reason’ with her by making her accept that his outburst is just part of who he is. Unfortunately, today he decided to take the second option, which means if Chaewon didn't comply there's gonna be a second fight. “Can I see you after lunch, I'm-” Her hand is shaking anxiously when she says, “NO, come home now”, And when he interrupts her she almost drops her phone. “Babe please, I have an appointment at lunch”, She pleaded, “Babe…… come home”, He used his cold voice which is the final warning, and Chaewon can only curse her own luck, “Okay, I'll be there as soon as I can”

Chaewon quickly scrambled throughout your apartment, “Fuck me, why the fuck can't anything to right for once”, She glance over the flight ticket you had and memorise the schedule before quickly wrote a note on pen and paper. “Fuck, pup please, for the love of god please understand, I promise I can make it up to you”, She pray, to whomever would listen and grant her wishes. As she writes some tears start to fall down her eyes and stain the paper. It was supposed to be a short note saying how her boyfriend suddenly called and she hopes you can reschedule lunch. However, due to her frustration she ended up writing a long essay saying how much she's sorry and even writing out about the things she wanted to tell you in person. During this she was interrupted with a text message from her boyfriend asking her where she is. Chaewon haphazardly finishes the note before bolting out of the apartment, leaving the door unlocked.

A few hours later you anxiously knock on your apartment door, waiting for her to open the door. Every second felt like an eternity and as time passes your stomach starts to twist making you feel like you want to puke. “Chaewon?” You tried to unlock your door to find it was unlocked, walking inside you call up to Chaewon but the only response you get is Luna purring on the couch. It was clear, she wasn't here, “Fuck”, For the first time in forever you actually yell out your frustration. On the coffee table you find a stack of paper, glancing over it you easily recognise her handwriting. 

This is it? This is how we're parting ways Chae? With a stack of notes?

Take a deep breath, calm your nerves and sit down on the couch, try to read the note with an open mind.

Hey pup, sorry but babe wants to meet me. You know how it is, I don't want to make him mad. I really, really, really, like I mean really feel bad for leaving you this note but I sincerely hope you understand. I know I don't deserve to ask for another chance but I hope we can reschedule our lunch tomorrow. If you don't want to, I get it. It'll hurt but I get it. The thing is pup, I never want to hurt you, I really don't. You're kind, strong and smart, I always admire how mature you are and how you can get your shit together. It's hard for me to say this, but I'm sorry that I never felt any romantic attraction towards you.

I don't want to make this cliche but it's not you, it's just me. I know you're cringing right now but just know that sometimes people just aren't made for each other. I love you, as my friend. Sometimes I dream of a different life for us. One where you and I can stay as friends, one where you're my shy, innocent and diligent little brother and I can be your caring and teasing older sister. I know it's hard for you to read this but just know even though you and I are not meant to be, you still have a special place in my heart. And I'm sorry, I never say anything about this.

I was scared, I was confused and I was distracted. Fuck it sounds so bad but I really wanted to help you get over those feelings pup. It's selfish I know, but I want to fix my relationship with my boyfriend before I start making things up for you. You know I have a lot of friends, I know you've been eyeing Kazuha some times, and I know she is interested in you. Fuck, I really wish things would go a different way. I wish we could be best friends forever, you and I, confiding in each other. I hope it doesn't sound too harsh but you and I are special, it's just, not in the way you hope it would be. 

When you said about this volunteer work I might encourage you, but deep down I was scared. I know one day you'll finally snap and confront me about this weird dynamic between us. When you say about an opportunity to leave and get out of your shell I was scared that you'll leave me and come back as a different person. I was scared, because in this fucked up and chaotic world you were the one who made me feel safe. Someone that would understand my struggle and help me through it. However on the other hand I wanted you to break off your shell. This whole time you've been living for me, for the hope that I'll be yours. I wanted you to find your own path and find yourself, get away from me so that you'll find a way to let go of your feelings.

Now, writing this whole thing I realised, I can't keep being selfish. I hurt you enough, dragging you down to a toxic relationship unintentionally. So, if you're looking for a farewell, I'll give it. Go out there pup, save people's life, realise that you're much more than what you've given yourself credit for. I hope you'll break free of the collar I've put on you this whole time. You're an amazing person, and I hope you can live up to your potential. Maybe one day, once you come back you'll find a reason to forgive me. For the pain I cause you, for all those medical supplies you've spent for me, for ditching our last meeting with these notes. I know I don't deserve to ask anything from you, but this time, I ask you to be happy. I ask you to let me go, and just, find someone who can love you as much as you love me.

Fuck I've been rambling for too long already. Pup, if you do feel like meeting me before you fly away just text me. If you don't, I'll understand. I won't let you go without saying goodbye to your face though. I remember your flight schedule, so if you don't want to meet me again I'll go there and just, wave you goodbye. Stay strong pup, I hope we can meet again.

Chaewon's tears that have stained the paper are almost gone, replaced by your own tears that almost render the paper unreadable. Is this the closure you wanted? Was there some sliver of hope you still hold on to thinking Chae might actually have some form of romantic feelings towards you? It's bittersweet, although the sweetness is nowhere to be found, you know one day you can see this note with fondness. Maybe this note will be the catalyst of your change. But for now, you just had to swallow this bitter pill and move on. Well, cry your heart out first, let the catharsis calm you down after.  “Fuck Chae, I don't know if you'll still be here after I come back though”, Yeah that's a fair point. “Don't die, please don't die while I'm away”

The whole day, and the day after, you just felt this new energy flowing through you. There's still some pain and bitterness there but you understand, it's the first step towards the right direction. Your mom also seems to be pleased with the outcome of this. “Okay, maybe she's not as bad as I expect her to be darling. She's pitiful, that's the best way I can describe her”, Just like how you are attached to Chaewon, your mom also had some attachments toward her. After all, Chaewon was the person who has been keeping you safe from bullies and was one of the only genuine friends that is still in contact with you after all these years. “Mom, can I ask you a favour?” Your mom nodded confidently, she knew what you wanted to ask. “I know darling, I'll take care of Luna while you're away. And I'll make sure that your dear friend will still be in a recognisable state when you come back”, The lady part needs some better wording but that will do.

“Thanks mom, and if she contacts you, can you just give her these?” You hand her a little gift box, “Darling, this isn't a therapy appointment, she won't need this”, Hopefully you can find your mom's sassiness within you in this year long journey. “Just, give it to her okay mom? I'll be off”, She nods and kissed your forehead, “Don't die out there sweetie, I love you”, She smiled at you, a mother's encouraging smile is an over powered buff, “I love you too mom”

Let's move back to Chaewon, she knows it's your departure day and she read your text saying that you won't mind seeing her wave you goodbye at the airport. However, like usual she is being held back by someone. “Chae I need you to stop lying to me okay?” The calm tone her boyfriend is talking in is unnerving. It was like an ice pick that's being stabbed to Chaewon's fresh open wounds. “I'm not lying babe, he really is just a friend”, Chaewon cried, she doesn't want to cry because- “Liar”, He would scream at her, *CRACK* a loud smack echoes throughout the room as he slapped her with all his might. “I wasn't, babe please believe me. He's leaving for a year. I promise I just want to say goodbye to him”, Chaewon cried out as she lay on the ground while her body was screaming with pain. “I know you spent the night with him, Chae, don't lie to me. I let you off this whole time because I know that pussy won't be brave enough to make a move on you. But you, I know you fucking sluttyness knows no bounds. You were giving him a farewell gift, weren't you? You let him have sex with you after years and years of simping for you. Now you want to go there and make him rethink about leaving so you can keep him. I know a fucking bitch like you would keep a side man, a second option”

After a while he just left her in his house. Chae lays down on the floor, face messed up with tears and bruises, her body is exhausted from the mental and physical torture she's been subjected too in the last two days. She lay down there for god knows how long before she finally regained her consciousness. Looking at the time it's already an hour past your departure. Her tears are already dried up so she can't even let out her frustration anymore. “I'm sorry pup, I really do”, Not long she heard a knock on the door, “Hello, anyone in there?” It was a familiar voice but she can't remember who it is. Chaewon tried to stand up but her body could barely move. She wanted to say something but no words came out of her mouth. “Hello, I'm looking for Kim Chaewon, is she here?” Chae realises that whoever's behind that door is trouble, but her voice, Chae could swear she knows her from somewhere.

Chaewon tried to stand up but she failed and just fell down and caused some of the empty beer bottles on the table to fall alongside her and shatter on the floor. “Hello? Is everything alright?” It wasn't, some of the glass shard hit Chae which made her let out a barely audible painful whine. “I'm coming in”, Then a loud slam can be heard from the door before it opens. From the floor Chaewon is laying on she can finally see the person that's looking for her, it was your mom. “Jesus, what happened”, Your mom immediately ran up to Chae, her mind racing with concern, and hatred for Chae's boyfriend. “Ma'am, what are you doing here?” Chae flinched when she felt the older woman's hand examining her wounds. “I'll tell you later, did your boyfriend do this to you?” Chae flinched hearing that question, it's not the first time she heard her ask that. “Fine, don't answer if you don't want to. Let's get you to the hospital”, In one swoop she grabbed Chaewon and just carried her away. Usually she'll refuse this type of help, but now you're no longer there to help you, and she's too weak to refuse so she just let herself get taken away. 

Your mom lay Chaewon in the backseat of her car before she took her radio and contacted the nearest hospital. “Dispatch, this is Unit 23 responding. Requesting immediate medical assistance. One injured victim, multiple bruises, possible head injury and a few lacerations due to glass shard on her arm”, Chaewon struggled to stay awake and ultimately went unconscious again before she even reached the hospital. “Hang in there kid, my son gonna kill me if he come home to find you dead”

A few hours earlier you were waiting at the airport, hoping for Chaewon to show up and wave you goodbye. However as the time for departure was nearing Chaewon was nowhere to be seen. You text her and she didn't read it and when you finally boarded you ended up calling your mom to check on Chaewon. As you were busy worrying for her, a girl suddenly sat down next to you, “Hello, are you also here for the volunteer work?” Oh shit, Chaewon who? “Oh yes, I'm from Serenity Medical Institute, nice to meet you”, Hey maybe moving on won't be that hard after all. “Nice to meet you too, I'm Minju from the Oasis Regional Hospital”, Minju gave you a weird look when you heard where you came from. 

“Serenity Medical Institute huh, I didn't know they sent anyone for this”, Seating next to a beautiful girl like her made you feel nervous yet somehow she looks more nervous than you. “I am the only one who's going”, You smile a little embarrassed. “Really? That's surprising”, Minju smiled, “Well how many people went from your hospital?” She thinks for a second, “Probably 12?” Is your hospital just very stingy? “That's a lot, I didn't expect so many people would actually be interested in doing these kinds of stuff”, Would sending 12 medical personnel cause some problem in the hospital? Wouldn't it get crippled due to the lack of personnel? “Yeah well, it's not like we're short on people, also doing this will give our hospital some subsidies that would help a lot”, Minju looked at your confused face and got confused herself.

“You get subsidies? I don't think I read that part in the application form”, Do you even read the form though? “Well yeah the form is made asking for international aid. The subsidy is our government's way to encourage the nation’s medical personnel to help”, Did they just send you for the government money? “Although I don't think Serenity would care about that type of stuff”, She was sending some jabs to you but you didn't catch it. “Really? Why do you say that?” Minju furrowed her eyebrows trying to see if you're messing with her, “Well, because it's the rich people hospital”, Your genuine confusion took Minju off guard. “Really? I never knew”, Minju stares at you for a second, “How did you get a job there?” This is a good time to point out how clueless you are at everything.

“Well, after I finished college the owner, well I think he's the owner, came to me to offer me an internship. He said he knew my father and owe him once”, Pretty sure you never met that guy again, also your mom tore you a new hole after you accepted the offer thinking it must be a scam. “See, there's almost no way for people to get in without nepotism. The place has such a service fee that most of its clients are millionaires”, Minju saw you even more confused which frustrated her. “I thought the hospital was the best hospital in the country. I mean, wouldn't that be the reason for the high price?” She clicked her tongue hearing your response.

“Yes, but also because the benefactors and clients are some of the richest people in the country. Most of the people working there have been working there for generations already. It's almost impossible for someone to start working there fresh off college. Any new recruits needs to have at least 10 years of experience in any other prestigious hospital before they have a chance for an examination by them”, You are very clueless about most things. “Huh, I never knew about that”, Minju pinched herself to see if she's hallucinating, there is no way someone is this dumb right? “What's your parents job?” Could it be, you're just a savant in the medical field that attracts their eyes? “Well, my father was a firefighter, and my mom is a cop”, That doesn't sound like a rich person's job.

“Huh, then….. Did your father save someone's life and that person happened to be a very important person?” You shrugged, seemingly not caring about that, “Maybe, I mean he died when I was a kid and mom said he saved a lot of life so maybe he saved someone important and the guy gave me a job out of gratitude?” Minju was baffled with how little shit you're giving about this. “That's…… I'm sorry about your father but do you know how lucky you are? There's people who would die to have a job at your hospital”, This rubs you the wrong way. “Why? What's the difference between your hospital and mine? I mean you and I still both save lives regardless where we work so it wouldn't matter right?” Minju was taken off guard again, you sounded so genuine with your words that she felt embarrassed for forgetting the main job of a doctor.

“You're right, sorry I didn't mean to come out as a materialistic person”, You felt guilty seeing how embarrassed she is, “Oh no don't be, I'm sorry I didn't know most of those things so thank you for telling me this”, Minju smiled at you. “You're just an innocent puppy aren't you?” Eeeehhhh, are you an actual dog? How come two beautiful and completely different girls can see you the same way like that? “I guess”, She laughed seeing you reluctantly accept her nickname. “So, since we'll be working a lot closer from now on I think this would be a perfect time to get to know each other right?” This whole thing feels nostalgic, it's a deja vu for the first time you met Chaewon.

No, I can't keep living in the past. Come on, I'm on this trip to break free of my shell. Be more confident, talk to her. Fuck what if I fall for her and it end up the same way as I did with Chae? Fuck I'm not gonna find anyone if I keep being scared.

“Of course, why don't you start first?” Minju did start first, and she also took the majority of the speaking time because you're too shy to speak up. In the middle of it you got a text from your mom informing you of Chaewon's condition. “You're okay?” Minju said after seeing you turn catatonic for a while, “Oh, yeah just, something came up”, Your voice sounds shaky and you turn around to watch out the window. Minju stays silent after realising that you're not in a talking mood, although she is curious about the situation. Moreover she's curious about you, she finds you to be pretty cute and attractive, and your innocence has some charm to it.

After a while your mom texted back informing you that Chae is stable for now and sent you her medical report. You read through it extensively, the more you read it the more you regret going on this trip. Without you there Chae would probably run back to her boyfriend after being discharged from the hospital. Well, even if you're there you won't be able to stop her from going back to him. It's like you are Sisyphus and she is your boulder, no matter how hard you try, she will always stumble down the hill into her boyfriend's arms. “Hey, you're okay there?” Minju decided to speak up seeing how distraught you've become, “Ahhh no, something came up”, Having someone to talk to would be nice, but would she care to hear a story of a complete stranger? “I don't mind listening you know, if you don't mind sharing of course”, Minju smiles at you, “Well, I have this friend, her name is Chae…….”

.

.

.

“Uggghhh”, A pained groan escapes out of Chaewon's mouth before she even gets to open her eyes. As she tried to sit up a hand stopped her from moving, “Take it easy now kiddo, you're still hurt”, This time she immediately recognised your mother's voice. “Ma'am, I….. where am I?” Chaewon tried to open her eyes but the room was too bright for her so she immediately closed it again. “In the hospital, you were pretty rough when I saw you”, The first thing that came up in her mind was to run, anything involving hospitals is bothersome, from the bills to the questioning she'll get. Thankfully she's well aware that your mom wouldn't let her run so easily, so she just lay back on the bed trying to regain her stamina.

After half an hour or so she is able to open her eyes and sit on the bed, looking around the place she realises where she is right now. “No, my son already left”, A quick reality check from your mom completely buried her hopes of having you delay your departure. “Why……. Why did you come to my place?” It's hard for her to look at your mom in the eyes. Unlike you, your mom has this dominating aura around her that shows she takes no shit from anyone. “My son asked me to check in on you when you didn't show up to his flight”

Oh right, I ghost him again. Fuck how can I keep messing this up?

“Listen kiddo, I never liked you. For years I've already told my clueless son that you're leading him on and he never listens. I would've confronted you but I digress because he always told me not to”, It's really jarring feeling the difference between you and your mom. Her words and piercing gaze made Chaewon shivers in her place. “And worst of all you actually push him to take a dangerous job off country just because you two can't be a grown up and talk about your feelings”, Just for the record, your mom was trying to not be overly hostile, she just came off that way. “I'm sorry”, Chae said weakly, “However, after he came to me with your notes I got a glimpse of your side of the story and, somewhat open to listen to the whole thing. Today, after I see you laying down half dead on that abuser's floor I think I understand enough”

“He's not an abuser”, Chae immediately bites back, as those words left her mouth she immediately flinched and felt scared for going against your mom. “Kiddo, I've been in this line of work for the last 25 years already. I've seen your story play out a thousand times. I promised my son that I'll keep you safe, so I'm taking you away from that whether you like it or not”, That's illegal right? “But he's not, he was just having an episode. Sometimes he just lash out, he can't help it, that's just who he is”, Chae is way too far down in her own hell to realise the exit is right in front of her. “Really? You're blaming this on his mental state?” Your mom wasn't taking any of that, “He's bipolar okay? He can't help having drastic mood swings”, He was never diagnosed, Chae just read some online article and associated him with that disorder to rationalise his sociopathic behaviour. “Blaming that maniac’s behaviour on mental disorders is an insult to the people who actually have mental disorders. Kiddo, I don't think you understand how irredeemable he is. What he did to you today is unacceptable, and if you don't want to fight for your own sake then I'll fight for you by bringing him to court”

Panic starts to set in, Chaewon can't let her do that, “He's not like that, I promise, please just give him a chance”, Seeing how pathetic Chaewon is, your mom wonders how you can enable her behaviour for so long. “Let’s have this talk in the morning. It's late and I need to get some rest. Go get some sleep, I'll be back here tomorrow morning. If I didn't see you here tomorrow morning I'm coming back to your apartment with a warrant for your boyfriend”, It's not your mom's first rodeo, she knows girls like Chae would care about her boyfriend’s feelings over her own well being. “Okay then, I'll see you tomorrow ma'am”, Not even a thank you, so rude.

Fuck why did things got so complicated now. You were always so caring but this is too much pup. Your mom is gonna be the end of me. Fuck how do I convince her to drop this, I can't let her make babe mad. I need to convince her.

How would Chaewon convince her? Well, with a stupid idea, “Are you being serious right now? You want me to talk with your boyfriend?” Downright idiotic honestly. “Please, it's just one talk. You'll see that he's not as bad as you think he is”, Your mom is absolutely flabbergasted with this request, this little girl actually wanted her to have a nice and civil discussion with an abuser? “I don't think you understand, assault and battery isn't just a civil case. The law enforcement such as myself have the right to pursue this case, you know that right?” This also means if she talks to Chaewon's boyfriend and he loses his composure your mom can use his incriminating words against him. 

“Trust me just this once okay? Please?” No way in hell your mom is gonna trust Chaewon, she sees Chae as an even more clueless person than you. She wants to say pathetic but she's not heartless enough to consider her own son pathetic. “I’ll drive you back to your place, I'll ask him about what transpired yesterday and that will be it. That's all the chances he's getting”, Although honestly she does see this as an opportunity to gather more evidence. “What? I need to tell him about this first”, Chae didn't have her phone, he broke it yesterday so she can't contact him, “Tchhh, so you can warn him? No, I'll give him this one chance so I can see him being unfiltered. So get your ass up because we're leaving now”, Despair, that's what Chae feels right now. 

Your mom led her to the receptionist where she signed the paper for discharge. Since you were working there she used her family member card so that Chaewon's hospital bills would be reduced to zero, and that's a good price. Throughout the ride Char can't stop herself from biting her nails, her legs are all jittery and her heartbeat is beating irregularly, she's scared out of her mind. Once they arrived back at her place she was so nervous your mom had to wake her up from her thoughts. “Ahhhhh, oh sorry, you scare me”, Chae tries to calm her breathing down while your mom is staring at her, then the latter gets out of her car prompting Chae to follow her.

Chaewon knocked on the door, after all your mom didn't exactly search around to pick up her personal things such as wallets or keys. “You do know I broke the door yesterday right? The locks haven't been fixed”, Chae blushed hearing this and just opened her door, going inside she called up for her boyfriend but there was no response. “He must be out”, There was some relief in her voice, hopefully your mom would just leave the place so she can brief her boyfriend about what's gonna happen. “That's unfortunate then-”, However Chaewon's dreams were short lived as the older woman's words were interrupted by some ruffling sounds from the bedroom followed by some footsteps. 

“Who the fuck are you?” Really? That's the first thing your mom said in her mind. She's completely baffled that Chaewon would ruin her own life for someone like that. No body shaming of course, the guy was good looking, but he looks like the most generic fuckboy ever imaginable. “I'm here to talk to you, I am Officer Hwang, last night I find…….”, She trailed off letting silence fills the room. The reason for that is because a girl walks out of the bedroom he just came out from. Seeing how minimal their clothing is, it's quite easy to grasp what they were doing. “Who is this?” Chaewon's fear and anxiety is replaced with unbridled rage as if he just crosses the line. “None of your business, and why the fuck did you bring a cop here huh? Hwang? Is it that retard’s mom?” He's so eloquent, no wonder Chaewon fell for him.

“Lady her your clothes and get out”, The random girls immediately sprint back to the bedroom, “Who the fuck is she?” Chaewon screamed at her boyfriend. “Fuck you, who is this? You brought a cop here? Are you insane?” Seeing him refuse to answer, Chaewon raises her hand and slaps him. It is unprofessional to laugh at someone who's getting ‘assaulted’ but your mom can't help but crack open a smile. “Are you crazy, bitch?” The slap has taken him off guard, never in his life did he think that Chaewon would have the balls to do something like that. The random girl came out of the bedroom wearing her pants with some of her underwear being stuffed into her bag. “You were cheating on me?” Chaewon roared, she looked at the random girl and was ready to pounce on her but thankfully your mom swooped in and pulled the girl outside.

“Move, I need to talk to that bitch”, Chaewon tried to push your mom away but the latter hold firm, “I think you should deal with this one first”, She pointed at her boyfriend. “Shit fucker, look at me”, He roughly pull Chaewon's hand making her body ragdoll to the ground. “You think you're hot shit because you have a cop here?” This guy has issues, “You were fucking some random girl? AFTER YOU SNAPPED BECAUSE YOU THINK I WAS CHEATING ON YOU?” Huh, maybe Chaewon's final line is just cheating. It's impressive that he never crosses that line for the last few years. Seeing how Chaewon wasn't being a scaredy cat like usual hurts his pride, so he raises his hand to hurt her in return. 

“You should stop that”, Your badass mom just grab his hand before he can slap Chae, “You fucking disgusting pig, HOW DARE YOU CHEATED ON ME”, But she didn't stop Chaewon from slapping him. “You fucking whores”, His pride really can't take this anymore and he took one of the empty bottle on the table. “I warned you”, With a bored tone your mom pulled out her taser gun and just shot fade him. Immediately he fell to the ground, the bottle thankfully didn't break and cut his skin, despite how much your mom wanted that to happen. “You asshole”, Chaewon walks to him and just kicks him in the ribs, “Alright don't do that, you're gonna get in trouble”, But her words don't reach her like usual. Chaewon tried to kick him again prompting your mom to just drag her out of the house.

“Let me go, I need to kill that bastard”, She was taken off guard seeing how Chaewon just flipped a switch out of nowhere, “Well it's better than before I guess”, She muttered before pushing Chae to her car. “Stay here for a second, I need to clean this mess”, Well at least her menacing glare is enough to stop Chae from struggling. “Here, go busy yourself while I call up the medic”, She shoved a little gift box you prepared for Chae to her lap. Chaewon immediately recognised your writing and opened it, inside is a note and she immediately read it.

Hey Chae, I was writing this note because I feel like that's just gonna be our thing from now. Let me start by saying, it hurts. Reading your notes was painful and really fuck me up. However, I do understand where you're coming from. I can't force you to like me, although I really want to, I realise it's just not possible. I guess we were both an idiot, so caught up in our feelings that we ended up hurting ourselves. I just want to say, I don't hate you, I understand where you're coming from, I really do. I hope one day when I come back home we get to sit down together and talk about this further. I hope once I get back we can have a civil and mature conversation about our friendship and other things.

However, for that to happen, I need you to still be around when I come home. Yes I helped you throughout these years because I loved you. But it would be wrong if I say that was the only reason why I helped you. I was scared for you, this relationship you had with your boyfriend isn't healthy Chae. When we first met you were this badass girl who never backed down from anything. Now you're just this vulnerable girl who is being dragged through hell because you can't let go of your feelings. You know I'm right, all your friends have given up on you already because they can't bear to watch you destroy yourself. You say something about setting me up with Kazuha yet the last time you talked to her was already 2 years ago. Chae, I'm scared, I'm really scared with the idea that you won't be alive by the time I come home. I wrote this note because I want you to let him go.

No, I wasn't saying this because I feel jealous of him, I'm saying this because I care about you. I'm on this “journey” in hope that I can let go of my feelings, in hope to “break my chains” as you put it. Now I'm asking you to break yours as well. I know you're tired of hearing these words but you're sacrificing so much just by staying with that guy. I might sound biassed, but you can get any guy in the world and you're choosing the worst option. I never thought I'd say this, but it's also hurting my pride knowing you prefer staying with an abuser rather than, me. Fuck that sounds so bad, but if you were dating some rich handsome guys I'll have my heartbreak way earlier than this and probably move on. Chaewon, you're a beautiful, talented and strong girl, you can do better than him. It hurts seeing your mental toughness that I always envied are being used just so you can tolerate him. Please, now that I'm gone I can't keep you safe any longer. For the love of god please let him go Chae. I don't want to come back home seeing you six feet underground.

I might just be beating a dead horse but I hope you can see where I'm coming from. In this box there's my apartment keys. I already pay rent for the next 4 months so you can stay there if you need to. And finally, there's a hospital card here, you can use it in Serenity and get treatment free of charge. I hope you'll never need to use it, but I also hope for a lot of impossible things. Anyway I've been rambling for too long, I hope mom didn't go too hard on you. Stay safe Chae, stay alive. I hope we can meet again once I'm back home. I'll miss you.

It took her almost 30 minutes rereading that note you left her. It all boils down to, “Chaewon your boyfriend is trash, leave him already. Here take my keys”, But she keeps rereading them hoping there's more. She needs more, she needs you to write something, anything that could comfort her. “Fuck pup, why can't I just listen to you”, But alas there's none, after all you never expect this messages to actually change her mind. It technically didn't, her boyfriend's act of crossing her line did but this note is the nail in the coffin. A certain word rings in her mind, “If only he can be more like you”, So fucking cliché, yet sometimes clichés came from real life things.

Why the fuck did I say that? You're so fucking stupid sometimes Chae. Why ask for someone to be like him when he's already available. God what have I done.

No point of crying over spilled milk, but that doesn't stop her from ruining your notes with her tears. Is this your thing now? Sending notes and soaking them with tears. “He’s not a problem anymore, just in case you're wondering”, Chaewon jumped back at her seat when she saw your mom had rejoined her back in the car. “Right”, Chae wiped her tears and put the notes back in the box, “You want to go somewhere or do you want to go back to your house?” Chae glanced back to her house. It was inherited to her after her parent's death a few years ago, it was around the time she started dating that pig. Those beautiful childhood memories, all tainted by his presence. 

“No, can you take me back to your son's apartment?” It's not that your mom wants to snoop around, but she's just curious and has checked the gift before she hands it to Chaewon. “Got it”, Your mom thinks it would be a good idea for Chae to stay away from her house for now, 4 months is a pretty long time to cool down. However Chaewon had different plans, “I'll wait for you to come back pup. I can fix this, I can fix us. I'll wait for you to come back, then we can start over”, Her barely audible whispers float off to the wind. A promise for a better future, no matter what it takes.

.

.

.

“Babe you need to stop dozing off”, You were woken up from your daydream with a gentle touch to your shoulder. “Right, I just feel weird. I can't believe a year passed already”, Yeah, it felt like a year just passed in an instant. “Come on, don't tell me you're thinking about staying here?” Minju wrapped her arm around you, “Of course not, I'm just a little sad that I'll have to go already”, Minju smiled and gave you a kiss. “There, I don't want my little puppy to be sad anymore”, She said teasing you, “Don't call me that, please never call me that in front of other people again”, It's bad enough that she calls you that in front of her coworkers, if she pull that name in front of your friends, or even your mom, you'll die out of embarrassment.

“Heheheheh, I won't promise anything. Now come on I need your big muscular arm to help me out the bags on the truck”, Living with no reception has bore you a lot, which is why you start working out alongside the soldiers that keeps the area secure. So needless to say, you've grown into a Chad, after loading the luggage you sat down with the rest of Minju’s coworkers. “So, what are we eating once we get home?”, Jaehyun, one of Minju's coworkers, asked the group. “I want some junk food, like 10 big macs covered with cheese dips type of junk food”, “No way in hell, we're eating something fresh, I want sushi”, “I don't care what we're eating but we need alcohol. Like a lot of them”, You've been pulled to be part of their friend group, although most of the time you and Minju would just fool around somewhere else. “Let's vote then, what does everyone want?” Voting with friends is such a bad idea, “I'm down for anything”, “Yeah me too, I don't mind”, “I don't really crave anything so I'll just follow what everyone wants”, In the end Minju just pull you to the passenger truck and sit with you at the back while her friends are busy discussing.

“So, we're going to meet your mom once we land?” It's hard to communicate with the people back home, you can only send her a letter every few weeks or so. Well except last week when you were given a satellite phone to arrange yours . “Well she did say she's gonna pick me up, so maybe we can have dinner with her after”, You haven't really told your mom about Minju so you're kinda nervous, “I don't think I'm down for thay babe. It's a 10 hour flight and I would rather go home and have a good long bath. Maybe we can have dinner tomorrow night”, Thankfully she rejected the dinner. “Guess you're right, I'm sure mom also wants to ask me about what I did for the last year”, It would be awkward to tell your mom that you actually got shot here. “Yeah, don't die okay baby”

“I told you you're gonna get shot”, You're like an inch away from getting shot by her out of frustration. “But mommmm, it was just an accident, some stray bullet from the soldier's training”, They even send you money for the inconvenience, or to shut you up. “Haaaaaa, I'm really this close to losing it. You didn't think about telling me in one of those letter you send me?” This is certainly a welcoming party, “ I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you worry”, She sighed and just shook her head. “Mom, where's Luna?” You tried to change the topic, “With Chaewon, that fat fuck want to stay at your apartment over here”, You raised your eyebrow in confusion, “Chae still living at my place?” 

Your mom does send you some update about her in the first few months, most of it just saying how Chae is getting better and has been reconnecting with her friends. “You should go there and talk to her”, Right, the long awaited reunion is due, “I should, tomorrow we're having dinner with Minju so I guess I could come over now”, Time zone difference fuck you up because you left around sunset and arrive back at your home around 8 AM, which isn't fun. “I can drop you off at your place if you get ready right now”, As you took a shower you can't help but feel nervous. For the last year you didn't really try to reach out to Chae and your mom didn't say anything if Chae tried to reach out to you. Going back to the living room you immediately noticed how tight your outfits has become. “That usually happens when you build up muscle darling. You should go and get some new clothes”, You remember Minju said she is a shopaholic so you made a plan to do a shopping run later with Chae. Just as a friendly reunion right? Right?

“Congratulations on your promotion by the way mom”, You pull out a gift for her, “Ohhh? What's this? The bullet that they took out of your body?” Damn that would actually be a pretty good gift for her. “Uhhh no, it's just a knife one of the refugees gave me”, Without hesitation she ripped open the box and pulled out a pristine military knife. “Ohhhh, good job darling, I'll put this on my desk”, She smiles happily before strapping the knife into her waist. “Now come on, I'm gonna be late”

You stand in front of your door, feeling anxious and nervous. If any of your neighbours see this they're probably gonna be weirded out since you’re just standing there for 5 minutes. Suddenly the front door clicked open and you saw Chaewon. She was going out and she bumped into you, “Sorr-.......” The two of you just stare at each other silently. The first thing you noticed is how healthy she looks, her cheeks are no longer hollow, her skin isn't sagging, she looks better. “Hey Ch-” Chae jumped to hug you before you finished your sentence, “It's you, you're home”, Even her strength is back, enough to suffocate you. “Chae, calm down for a second”, But she doesn't want to calm down, “You're back, you're really back, I miss you so much”, Chae hugged you even harder without any intentions of letting go.

“Chae let's not do this in the hallway”, She suddenly felt your arm wrapped around her body and picked her up with ease. It was at this moment that she noticed you don't feel so scrawny anymore. “You've grown”, She let go of the hug as you closed the door behind you, her eyes travelling all over your body. “Yeah well, I got a lot of free time there”, Your cheeks turn red as Chaewon shamelessly feels up your arms. “Meow”, Luna walked out of the bedroom and the moment she saw you she immediately ran to your leg. “Hey there Luna, did you miss me”, You picked her up and she immediately purred in your familiar embrace again.

“Well come here take a seat. Don't be a stranger in your own apartment”, Chae smiles and pulls you to sit down on the couch. Looking around you notices she has done a few furnishings, the place still looks familiar, yet there's some of her touch painting the whole apartment. “You like it? I don't want to change too much but I feel like your previous decorations were kinda bland”, Is her snarky remark making a return as well? “Well the place does look less grey”, Chaewon sits closer to you, “So, how was your trip? Come on tell me everything”, She leaned towards your arm and rested her head on your shoulder.

“It's a long story, weren't you just leaving to go somewhere?” Bering with Minju for a while you've grown immune to women's advances due to how flirty she was. “I was just about to get some breakfast. Have you eaten anything yet? We can order some food”, Chae notices your lack of embarrassment and it makes her, happy. “Well I ate some airplane food earlier, so I wouldn't mind going out for some actual good food”, Luna let out a growl as if she understands that you're leaving already. “Come on let's just eat here, I want to hear everything that happened to you”, Chae pinched your cheek as she leaned even closer to you. 

“Come on let's go out Chae, I also need some help. I actually gained some weight and my old clothes are getting too tight for me. Can you help me do some clothing runs?”, A date, Chae is ecstatic that you wanted to have a date with her the moment you return. “Yesssss, let's go then”, She stood up and pulled your hand, “Hahahaha, sorry Luna you're gonna have to wait for me again”, Luna let out a protest meow before jumping off your lap. “She's gonna be fine, let's go pup, it's shopping time”, Surely Chaewon won't take the whole day to help you get some new clothes.

“So you were actually shot? Like with a real bullet?” Chae is filled with concern hearing your story, “Yeah, it was just a ricochet so it's not that deep but it still hurts”, Don't cut off the fun part, tell her you cried like a baby as they tried to stop your bleeding. “That's terrible, I swear to god I'll kill that idiot who dares to shoot you”, It pisses her off, she could've lost you because some stupid drill. “It's fine, I was too close to the training yard anyway”, You can't help but smile seeing her angry face. It reminds you of the time when she used to get angry every time someone tried to pick on you. “Tchh, I'm only letting it go because you're safe and you got a cool scar from it”, Chaewon continued looking at your arm, rather, your bicep.

“Yeah, it does look cool”, You trailed off as you checked your messages that Minju had sent you. Chae furrowed her eyebrows seeing you've been busy chatting with someone on your phone throughout this breakfast. She wants to know who's making you smile and what those texts are, but she refrains for now. “Well I hope your feets are ready, we're giving you a makeover”, She'll ask you about those texts later, after all she has all the time in the world with you.

The shopping was hellish, Chaewon keeps pulling you to every clothing store there is and has you tried every single piece of clothing she can find. Then to top it off you had to bring all the luggage yourself. Well you don't have to, but you don't want to make her carry it so you just swallow the pain and move on. “Chae can we stop here? I think this is enough'', Chae does notice your suffering but she can't help herself to dress up her boyfriend. “Alright, let's put it back at our place, we can order some food for lunch”, Our place? You're gonna say something about that? “Our-”, Unfortunately your phone rings before you can ask it. 

“I need to answer this call first, can you order a cab for us?” Now, Chae is not exactly a nosy person, but she feels irritated with how much you were on your phone during this date. “Fine”, She doesn't want to make a scene so she'll just frown as she watches you walk a way to answer your call. “Hey babe , I was thinking that maybe we can grab some lunch? Or are you still dealing with jet lag?” Minju said, “I'm outside right now, having a reunion with Chaewon”, A little slither of guilt can be heard in your voice as you felt bad for refusing your girlfriend’s invitation. “Oh well, did everything go well?” She doesn't mind though, “Yeah, I think we're having a good day so far. I'm kinda happy seeing her revert to her old self. Although I think I would rather have her tone down her occasional jab. Physical jab, she's one of those people who like to playfully punch you and it hurts”, You hear Minju laughed out loud at your complaints. “Oh no, my poor baby can't take a woman's punch? Even with all those muscles?” PSA: Domestic violence is not a joke, please seek professional help if you or someone you know are dealing with one. 

“Hey listen she's not your average girl okay? She used to be the badass tomboy who beat up guys bigger than him. Besides you should see her biceps, they're huge”, Chaewon can't hear you but she is certainly not happy with the smiles that's forming on your face. “I would love to, is this an invitation for me to join your reunion?” Ahhhh shit, what did you just do? “Well”, You look back at Chae and are surprised seeing her hostile glare, “Maybe not today”, You're not sure why she's mad but you think it's best not to ask it for now. “Well, hopefully I can meet her soon. I'll see you tomorrow okay babe? Pick me up for the date please, you can buy some used car with the money they gave you for the bullet wounds”, You can't concentrate on what she's saying and hurriedly end the call before walking to Chaewon.

“The cab will be here soon”, Oh no, she's using her cold angry voice again, “O-okay”, The two of you awkwardly stand there waiting for the cab. Throughout the whole ride Chaewon was looking out the window trying to calm herself down. However the moment she hears you typing on your phone she immediately turns to you and lets out a vicious glare. Feeling your life might be in danger you put down your phone. Anxiousness starts to rise within you, it's not the first time you see her this mad but it's still terrifying.

What the fuck did I do now? Chae only got this mad when I did something stupid and hurt myself. Think Mark, think. Whatever it is, I should try to apologise once we get home.

The two of you silently walk back to your apartment, as soon as you walk in you hear Chaewon slam the door behind you. “Put it there”, She pointed at the floor, you obediently put down the groceries trying to find words to calm her down and inquire on what you did wrong. “Who was it?” Her voice, cold and piercing just like her eyes, “Who was what?” That's not an answer, so she walks towards you and pushes you to the wall. “Who were you talking to on the phone? The whole day you were busy talking with someone. Throughout our fucking date you were just chatting with someone else. Do you not respect me at all? Your girlfriend is in front of you yet you were busy with whoever it was in your phone”, Alright, what the fuck?

Let's break this down, first she doesn't like you talking to someone, which is understandable since it was pretty rude to be busy with your phone while you're hanging out with someone else. Then she says date, you didn't think it was a date, friendly date possibly but isn't that just a hangout? Lastly, girlfriend, this one actually takes you out of it. Hearing her referring to herself as your girlfriend is not something you ever thought you'll hear. This time, after a year of spiritual journey, you actually don't want to hear her say that.

“Chae?” Seeing that you're not answering she just digs her nails into your arm. “ANSWER ME. Who was it? And don't fucking lie to me”, Her voice echoes throughout the whole room, yet it feels so distant, as if this whole thing is just a dream to you. “That's…. I…. I was talking to my girlfriend”, Chae was about to scream back saying you weren't talking to her enough, then she realised you weren't referring to her. “Your. Girlfriend?” Her face contorted as she spat those words, “I guess I haven't mentioned her yet. Her name is-”, Your words are interrupted by her slap. 

"Girlfriend?" she spat, her voice laced with disbelief that morphed into a chilling possessiveness. "Don't lie to me, babe. You're mine. You've always been.”, Words are stuck on your throat, after years of following her shadow with the hope of getting a whiff of her warmth you managed to get it at the worst possible time. The name ‘babe’ rings like a distant lullaby, those words that you crave from her felt like venom to you now. “Chae when I was there I got close with Minju. We-”, Her hand flies quickly to grab your mouth, silencing your words that's about to break her delusion. “No, that's not right at all babe. I see now, you're confused and tired. Serving there must've been very tiring for you babe. You were just homesick and miss me, yeah let's get you some rest babe”

Chae leaned and kissed your cheek, yet her eyes are challenging you to refute her words. “No, Chae I have-”, The second slap was much more painful than the first one, because this time she put her back on it. “Baby I really think you're just tired, come on let's get you to your bed. You must've missed sleeping on your bed right? I'll accompany you, we can eat lunch later”, Chae grabbed both of your hands, tugging them for you to follow her to the bedroom. “No Chae, she's real. Minju is very lovely you'll like her”, This whole situation was so odd for you that you're also in denial of Chaewon's transformation. 

Chaewon's eyes narrow, trying to pierce through your skull to inspect your mind, then a humourless laugh escapes her mouth. “I see now, you had a rebound girl while you were away. I don't think I appreciate that babe, but for now let's get you to rest. I can punish you after you get some sleep”, The room was silent as if it was waiting in horror to see your next move. “No Chae……. I love her. I love Minju”, Your muscles stiffen, trying to brace for her next slap. Yet it never came, there was only silence.  “Love her?”

Alright, stop denying, you know what's happening right now. “Chae I-”,  You were once again interrupted by her, this time with her lips that aggressively crashed into yours and sealed it shut. This is it, the dream you've always wanted to achieve, a kiss from the girls that has held your heart for years now. Yet the kiss brought a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. On one hand, it ignited a dormant flame within you, a spark of the yearning you'd harboured for Chae for years. The warmth of her lips, the familiar scent of her hair, it all felt like a dream come true, a gift from god for all the good things you've done. On the other hand the sweetness was quickly tainted by the bitter reality. Your heart, now entwined with Minju's, ached with guilt and betrayal. This wasn't supposed to happen. Chae had friend-zoned you, leaving you to move on and build a new life. This sudden shift, this desperate claim of ownership, it sent your mind reeling. 

Is this the Chae you know? The one who has explicitly told you that the two of you can never work? Or was that Chae a fake one? You've never heard those words outside the notes she left you. Perhaps those notes are just her denial of the feelings she actually had for you. Denial that was hidden by the guilt she had for using you all this time? Is this confusion you're having is just a pathetic rationalisation for your own feelings for her? Was Minju truly just a rebound girl? Did you leave your heart here with Chae this whole time and only notice it now that you're back with her?

So many questions yet no answer. You didn't try to think of an answer, after all there's a fight going on within you right now. Your body has been yearning for these moments and responded instinctively. Your heart screaming with protest as it was being torn apart by the guilt you harbour for Minju. Each agonising second felt like an eternity. You wanted to pull away, to break free from this confusing entanglement. Yet with each second passing Chae's grip tightened, her kiss becoming desperate, almost pleading. It was like witnessing a damsel in distress, someone drowning in a sea of their own obsession, and a part of you, the part that once loved her fiercely, wanted to save her.

“Haaaaa”, Finally she broke the kiss, her head pressing against yours, her hand still tightly gripping on to your collar. Her eyes are filled with ecstasy, she's in a trance, for a moment you wonder if this is what you would look like if she kissed you before you left. “You're mine babe, you're mine and mine alone”, A hushed whisper can be heard flowing out of her mouth. The kiss, it was a culmination of all the obsession and longing she has for the last year. Your absence in her life was a hellfire for her loneliness, forging her into this, thing. Day by day her longing got more and more intense until it slowly turned into a need. Now that you're here those feelings only become more intense, like a sword that has finished sharpening and ready to be used.

While she was lost in the vortex of her own emotions you finally connected the dots. Despite her rejection she has explicitly said that she has special feelings for you. A love that was strong in every way but romantically. However it would change once she finally broke free of her chain, of the collar her boyfriend has put on her. Lost, confused, exiled, her only source of hope was you. After all her friend left her the only person she can rely on was you. Yet you were already gone, left to find your own love. Of course, that's why she is still here, living in your apartment with the thought that you two can reconcile after you return. Funny how life works, Chaewon finally has the same feeling you've been ‘hiding’ from her for years just right after you lost those feelings. 

“You know you love me babe. Whoever that Minju girl is, she's irrelevant. We belong together, and I'm so sorry that I hurt you for so long. I promise I'll make it up to you. Just be patient okay babe, after all we have our whole life to be together. Nothing can separate us anymore, I love you”

“I-”, NO! 

Your mind managed to take control of your body before you answered her. “I...” Chaewon smiles thinking you were just too shy to say it back. “Chae, it's too late”, Desperately you tried to bury back those feelings, you can't hurt Minju, and for some reason there's this voice warning you that whatever Chae is feeling right now, it's dangerous. “Baby, you know how much you hurt me by saying that”, Her face formed a disappointed frown as her tone turned sour, her eyes turned glassy as if she was about to burst into tears. “I can't Chae, I'm sorry”, It hurts seeing her like this as well, you never thought you'd make her cry by rejecting her. 

“You don't mean that pup, I can see it in your eyes. You didn't move on and I know it. You have loved me for years already, how can you just let go of all those feelings in just one year”, Her vulnerable tone and pained expression was nothing but a calculated move. Loyalty and charity, those are your two strong suits, and she knows acting hurt and vulnerable would be an easy way to change your mind. “I….. I can't Chae”, She also knows, despite your physical growth, mentally you wouldn't even hurt a fly.

“Why are you lying to me pup? I can feel your body is calling for me”, Her hand slips inside your sweater. As her cold and slender fingers feel up your abs you can't help but feel like the inside of your stomach is twisting. This is all you ever wanted yet it terrifies you. “You've grown pup, I like it”, With inhuman strength she just ripped apart your flimsy sweater. “Chaewon no”, You try to stop her, your mind does,  but your body is much more honest. “Did she do this to you?” Chae pressed her finger towards the hickey you had on your collarbone, “Chae stop this”, You pleaded again, but your words aren't coming through to her. “I'll hide it babe, I'll hide it with my make so you'll forget that whore”, Chae leaned in and bite on your collarbone.

The pain, you're not even sure if it was physical or emotional. Out of all the way that you could have her you never expected that it would be done through, rape. Is this rape? Do you truly hate this? “Who was that?” Your phone buzzed making Chaewon stop her marking session. “I-”, She didn't bother waiting for your answer before rushing through your pocket and finding your phone. The name Minju was written on the screen showing she just texted you something. “Forget about her”, Chae throws away your phone before diving back to your shoulder. 

I don't want this. I don't want this at all.

You pushed her away but it was so weak she barely moved. “Stop doing that”, She mumbles as she continues biting you. “Chae stop this please”, You push her again but this time you managed to put some power into it. She doesn't budge, her teeth still hooked into your flesh refusing to let you go. “Chaewon stop”, Finally raise your voice, she stops biting you yet her body is still pressing you to the wall. “Baby, I need you to stop playing so hard to get okay? I know you want this”, Come on tell her no, tell her she's wrong. “See, you need to stop lying to me”, Her hand caressed your bulge, “I know you more than you know yourself”, She whispered in your ear.

Do I actually want this? Was I overreacting when I call this rape? Chaewon would never do that. She's a kind and loving person. She would never do anything to hurt me. Right?

She fucking gaslight you so easily? “My god, you're so big baby”, You glanced down and realised Chaewon was already kneeling in front of you, your pants already pulled down exposing your cock. “Chae”, She smiles, your tone is much more meek now, she knows she got you by the, well, balls. “It's okay babe, I'll be gentle”, Her slender fingers gently wrapped around your cock as her lips kissed your tip. Your body shivers with the sensation, her gentle touch was enough to make you leak some precum. Chaewon smiles proudly, “I'm flattered babe, you've been missing me too right?” Her tongue sticks out and licks your tip. 

The more she licks the more you leak out. Her hand starts stroking you as she licks your cock like a lollipop, savouring the taste of your precum. Not long after that she kissed your tip again before pushing it into her mouth. “Ohhh fuck”, You moan, her mouth was too small for it and despite her best effort she can only go halfway. Feeling defeated she pulls away before spitting onto your shaft, her hand continues stroking and coats your cock with her saliva. If she can't take all of your length she will be creative. So as her head bobs up and down her hand jerks you off with the lubricant she just applied. Wet sloppy noise echoes throughout the room, accompanied by the sounds of your grunt and moans. 

“Chae, fuck”, Feeling your cock starts to throb she got even more intense. Her hand and head go in sync as she tries to milk you. “Chae, I'm cumming”, Your hips buckled forward forcing Chae to choke on your cock as you unload down her throat. The sensation of your thick and warm cum travelling down her throat gives Chae a sense of victory. Her eyes never leave yours for a second and she watches every single emotion you went through this whole time. She knows, you can't run from her.

“You taste so good babe”, She moaned once she pulled out your cock. Then she just let it rest on top of her small and pale white face, a view so arousing yo8r body starts screaming for round two. “Chae, I-”, It only took five seconds and your guilt already came back, this displeases her. “Come here baby, let's continue this in our bed”, She stood up and grabbed your hand. Now that your mind is clear, the post nut clarity should help you make your decision. Should you run now? Or should you just let yourself fall deeper into this, abyss.

“Come on babe”, Realising you're second guessing yourself, Chaewon grabbed your hand using both of her own while using her cute and innocent face. She hates to do this, she really does, because right now she's using a strategy that her ex used on her. “I……” Yet seeing you falter made her happy, there's always a silver lining in everything. Right now, she won't mind personifying her ex’s attitude if it means she gets to make you stay with her. “Hehehehehe, come on let's do a quick one babe, we can have lunch after this”, With one pull she managed to crumble down your common sense.  So you follow her, right into the dragon's nest. Inside your room you can see it's pretty much the same. The only difference was her makeup and dirty clothes that filled up the room. “I don't want to change too much, after all I want you to go back home to a familiar sight”, She smiles before pushing you to the bed. Chaewon takes off her skirt before jumping on to you. She pushes your erect cock into her stomach, “Look babe, you're gonna split me in half with this monster”

Seeing how quiet you are, Chae just takes off her top before leaning towards you. “Don't be shy babe, I know you've been dreaming for this moment for years now”, Her hand pulls yours into her breast, “Feel it babe”, She whispered in your ear. Overtaken by lust, your hand gently squeezed her tits making her moan, “Yeah baby, just like that. Don't be shy anymore okay? I know you like this as much as I do”, Chae raises her waist and aligns your cock with her wet entrance. “I love you”, And with that she lowers her waist, struggling to take your cock. “Fuck”, You grunted feeling how tight she is, “It hurts so much babe”, She moaned before leaning into your neck. “You're really gonna split me apart”, Her breath has become shaky as she continues pushing more of you into her. 

“Chae”, You whispered, “Yeah baby? Do you like it?” She bites your ear, “Take it slow” Oh no. “Hehehehehe, I'm not fragile you know”, Hearing your submission gave her a new source of energy. Her lips crashed on to yours as both of her hands hugged your head, not letting you move. As she managed to take your full length she didn't bother to rest a little and start moving. “I'll get used to this babe, I promise. We're made for each other, you and I”, She moans while her lower body is screaming in agony, but she couldn't care less. Her mind was already overtaken by lust, all those sleepless nights from missing you has caused her to have so much pent up stress. “Fuck Chae, calm down for a second”, You moaned feeling how aggressive she has become.

“No baby, you have no idea how much I miss you”, Chae presses her head against yours, you can see her eyes are filled with nothing but madness. “Those sleepless nights, all those times I woke up in the middle of the night, dreaming that you'll be there with me on our bed. Now you're back baby, and I will show you, just how much I've been missing you, how much I needed you”, She rode you even faster, making you let out a moan. “Yeah, do you like it baby? Do you like my pussy”, Chae whispered in your ears, “Grab my ass baby, I know you've always liked them”, She said before she started kissing you again.

In for a penny, in for a pound. Your hand reached down to grab her ass cheek. The first thing you noticed was how soft and smooth her skin feels, and as you squeeze them you find yourself enjoying the firmness of it. “Do you like it baby?” Chaewon moaned, “I….. do”, Chae smiled hearing your words. “Well don't be shy, use me however you like babe”, Her words are way too potent for you, “Fuck, Chae I'm about to-” Feeling your cock throbbing inside her Chae closed your mouth with her hand. “No baby, you need to hold it in”, Your eyes give her a protesting glare as Chae continues riding you. “I know it's your first time, baby, but I need you to be strong”, She loves seeing your panicked face thinking that you are having a hard time holding it in, but then you open your mouth. “It's not my first time”, Her waist sits on you as she stops moving, her eyes clearly filled with hatred.

“My baby, my innocent baby boy was corrupted by that WHORE?” Chae wanted to scream at you, to slap you for allowing yourself to get used by some whore. “Haaaaa, that bitch, I won't let her get close to you ever again”, But then she continued moving again, “Chae?” You on the other hand are struggling to hold your ejaculation, god knows what she's gonna do if you fail to follow her commands. “I guess it would be selfish for me if I wanted you to stay virgin. But that's okay right babe? Even if it's not our first time, what matters is that from now on we will only do this with each other”, Chae finds her rhythm back, riding you aggressively. Slowly the feelings turns into torture for you, “Chae I really need to-, Fuck”, Everytime you begged her she would just bite your chest, “You can hold om just a little more right babe? I want to finish with you so wait for me a little more baby”, Chae gives you a cute pouting expression, completely contrasting how her lower body is riding you like an animal. 

“Fuck Chae, please?” You whined again, this time you lost control of your face making it contort into a pathetic pleading expression. “Haaaaa, you look so cute like that”, Of course this whole thing is about the power play with Chae. She loves seeing you struggle and suffer just so you can please her. “Chae please?” you whined, “Call me babe”, Chae feels her orgasm is building up as well. “Babe, let me cum please?” Oh yeah, she's awakening a new kink right now, “Tell me you love me”, She whispered in your ears. “I love you babe”, You can feel Chae start shaking, “Tell me you'll leave that whore for me”, Last change bucko, will your rational mind return? “I will leave her for you babe, I love you”, Guess not.

“Haaaaa, then cum baby, cum inside me. Fill me up with your love please”, Hearing your total submission sends her over the edge. As your cum starts to shoot inside her, Chae kisses you again, desperately biting onto your lips as she's also having her orgasm. Your mind went blank for a moment as it short-circuited. “Haaaaa, haaaaa, haaaaa, welcome back baby, I love you”, Chae kissed your cheeks as the two of you were catching your breath. “Can you, get off me Chae?” She shakes her head, “Call me babe okay? I'm your girlfriend now so I need you to call me your baby from now on”, On top of that she kinda likes having your dick inside her. “Baby, can you get off me?” But of course, being the perfect girlfriend she will do anything to please you.

You tried to stand up when she got off of you but her hand immediately grabbed onto yours. “Where are you going?” Her voice filled with annoyance and a tiny hint of threat. “I need to wash up”, Her smile came back as she stood up with you, “Then let's have a shower together, I'll clean you babe”, She wrapped her arm around yours and pulled you to the bathroom. Once the two of you finished the shower Chae pulled you back to the bathroom and cuddled up with you. Her head rests on top of your shoulder as her finger is drawing around on your chest.

Now, how do you deal with this situation? Would you pick her over Minju? Or would you come clean to Minju that you just cheated on her. Your mind wanders around to the countless times you spend the night with Minju. Her warmth, her smile, her….. love, do they feel the same as what Chaewon is doing to you? Those memories hit you like a truck, alongside it are the guilt that just tearing you apart. Looking down at Chae, you see her smile at you before moving on to caress your hair. It really does feel like a fever dream, having her like this with you. Maybe it was a sign, Chaewon is just a dream and Minju is the reality? 

Your conflicted expression doesn't escape Chae, she knows that you're having second thoughts again. It pisses her off, but she doesn't want to push you too much, after all her ex tends to use a much more delicate approach when she's being, defiant. “Baby, I feel so tired right now. You really did a number on me you know?” She wrapped her arm around you, caressing your cheek and pulling your head closer to hers so she can kiss the other one. It feels wrong, her touch, this all feels so, artificial. You stay quiet, trying to organise your mind. Chae sighed before she cuddled up closer to you, “Let's get some rest baby. You said you just got off the plane this morning right? Get some sleep baby, I'll order us food for later”, Her leg wrapped around your waist. You of course managed to read between the lines, “You are not leaving here”

“Meow”, Luna? Where did that little shit throughout all this? “Come here Luna”, Chae said, Luna jumps up onto your bed and comfortably snuggles into Chaewon's torso. Huh, that's weird, is this an omen? Chae looks at your bewildered face and starts letting Luna, “I told you I'll make her enjoy my cuddles” And I'll do the same to you, babe.

[sglossmin]

MUSE | MYG pt. 3

Plot: What happens when the man you practically simp over in high school, is right now, sitting across you after almost 10 years of not seeing him? Worse? You’re here for an appointment for therapy and he’s your psychologist.

Pairing: SeniorStudent!Yoongi x JuniorStudent!Reader —> Psychologist! Yoongi x Artist!Reader

Genre: Fluff, slight age gap, slice of life, a bit of angst, schoolmates to lovers(?)

Warnings: talks about mental and death…erm lemme know if you found any disturbing heh Also mentions of earthquake:< (Praying for those who got affected by it)

Word count: How do u guys count here?

A/N: here's the part 3 y'all!! Thank you for the love and support this story is getting so far^^ It makes me want to keep going:) Comment your @ if you guys want to be added on the taglist:) Btw, the earthquake scene (hs days) actually happened (to me), I don't want it to make it seem like I'm making fun of these kind of stuff, so...just letting y'all know. This part was already written before the news, didn't want it to come off as mocking or something:<

part 1 part 2 read here^^

It wasn't my first time to go inside of this house, but it's different—cause it's his house now. The Kim's had looooooooooots of different antique furniture, his—simple, minimalist. Except for the liquor collection he has in his kitchen. The overall house looks pretty much the same except for the furniture. Some frames hanging on the wall, cute small cat decorations, his couch almost looked like a piano—black and white.

I wonder what his room looks like.

A small grin tugged my lips. He's letting me in his home, never thought I'll ever get to this stage.

Not gonna lie, that thought earlier made me feel like a creep.

I insisted that it would be better to eat at his since my house were not that...clean.

"Do you need any help?" I asked as we walked to the kitchen.

"No, I can't let you cook. You're my guest." Yoongi chuckled as he took out some ingredients from the fridge. "What do you want me to cook anyways?"

I couldn't seem to stop smiling. Good thing he's still stuck on the fridge while looking for ingredients. "Uhm...Anything! Surprise me."

He peeked out, slightly frowning at me. "I'll take that challenge..." he mumbled as he took out more ingredients.

I sat on the stool and across me, he started cooking. His back facing me while he chopped some scallion. Seeing his ingredients, I could already tell he's making kimchi-jeon (pancakes). Kids in our neighborhood used to pick on me and jungkook because of our last name. I think he's also making dakgalbi, is he making a breakfast or a whole feast?

I watched him cook for a while but felt too awkward due to the silence. Taking out my phone, I scrolled through my social media.

I sighed, seeing the news about the earthquake that happened to the other countries. Scrolling deeper, seeing the buildings wrecked, made my heart drop. It wasn't just the place and the infrastructures that were destroyed, but could also be the hopes and dreams of the people living in there. Tons of innocent lives seeking if there's any future left.

Yoongi seemed to notice my heavy sigh, I didn't even notice that he was looking at me.

"Are you okay?"

I looked up at him, the same curious and concerned eyes looking back at me. I dropped my phone to the table and smiled slightly at him—saying I was fine. I told him about the current happenings and he also felt the same sting.

Sometimes, I hate my memory. Being with him right now—talking about earthquakes, brought me back to that cursed memory.

Autumn 2010

Sana and Chaeyoung along side with the half of the class went somewhere to take some test. The other half including me and Jiyeon stayed inside the room, some were playing outside.

"Jiyeon, I'm hungry... Let's eat."

"Aren't you going to wait for them?" Jiyeon—who's also a close friend of mine—asked.

"Bet they're going to take long. It's almost lunch break now." I whined and took out my food.

Jiyeon don't really eat lunch so she just watched me as I eat. I keep on offering her to take at least a bite but she always refuse.

A few minutes after I ate, the surrounding seemed to move. I felt the ground shake for a second. It was quick and subtle, but we felt it. One of my classmate screamed and the students from the other room went outside. All of us were still processing what happened and since it stopped right away, we brushed it off. Even laughing when one us screamed.

Moments later, a teacher came in to us. She told us to get our stuffs and get out of the room. Thankfully, our room is in the ground floor—first room too. Jiyeon and I contemplated whether to get our friend's bag. Feeling the rush, we took it and got out.

Halfway through the line, we met them. They thanked us and took their bag. We told them what happened in the room and the way someone screamed.

"We were taking the test then we felt like we were moving and shit." Sana chuckled.

We got out of the line and lost them. Chae and I went to the court. Halfway through, we saw Sojin. She was raising this intermediate pad that has names written on it. We went to her and asked her what is it and what she was doing.

"It's my crush's name list." she said, as if it's the most normal thing to do in the current situation. "I have to at least confess or see them before this thing gets worse," she chuckled.

Hearing that, we left her to do her thing.

"She's my spirit animal" I chuckled and went to the covered court. Everyone was there, and surprisingly, including him.

I tapped Chae's shoulder, "He's here," I whispered. He's talking with some friends.

"Let's call Taehee to confirm if he's the guy she's talking about."

Hours earlier...

"He doesn't really post that much, no?" Chae mumbled as I rested my head on her shoulder as we stalked him.

"He's kinda familiar," our classmate—Taehee—said.

"What? You know him?," I said, almost sounding like a mock.

"What's his account?" she asked. Chae then showed him the profile. "Oh- Oppa?"

"OPPA??" Both of us exclaimed. Our head turned to look at her so fast I think I broke my neck.

Taehee nodded. "We weren't that close but we used to text a lot each other back then."

"Ey... Cut off the bullshit. Do you even have a proof?"

She shook her head and showed us her phone, "I already deleted our messages but look, we're 'friends' "

It did show that they're friends, but still, we refused to believe.

End..*

"So?" we looked at Taehee.

"Yeah, that's him. But I don't think he'll remember me."

Chae and I groaned.

I looked at my surroundings, till I saw some students taking a picture. "An earthquake happened yet they still managed to take pictures? Tsk"

"But...why don't we also?" Chae grinned. I looked at her weirdly, till she whispered, "And put him in the background..."

My eyes widened, amused of her sly idea. Yoongi was just few feet away from us.

HE WAS SO CLOSEEE.

"Come on, take a pic. Make sure I'll look good, okay?" I posed and smiled through the camera.

Then with some of my other classmates, we had a 'group photo'.

But seems like his classmates sensed what we were doing. "10 bucks if you guys wanna take a pic with Min Yoongi~" one of his classmate purposely said for us to hear. It wasn't loud but audible. All of them laughed—us too. Realizing we were caught, we stopped.

Yoongi was silent the whole time. Just quietly laughing with them.

"Neko is so cute" I giggled. "Even cuter when closer."

Chaeyoung giggled with me—too used to my insanity.

Everyone thought that they'll let us go home since we saw some senior students went out. Turns out, the reason that the teaching and non-teaching staffs in the school told us to get out of the building was to check whether a crack formed in the walls. After they checked every building and it is safe enough, we went back and continued the lessons as if nothing happened.

An hour later...

I still doubted that Taehee and Yoongi used to exchange messages back then.

"Let me use your phone then."

Without any hesitation, she gave me her phone. I chuckled and thought about what to message first.

Using Taehee's account, I texted him.

"Hi"

Few minutes later, he replied.

"Hello"

OEMGOSHHH HE REPLIEDDDD

I thought about what to reply but thought of nothing except this,

"So...u like bigbang and girl's generation?"

I remembered seeing in his account that he likes them.I gasped—HARD. Would it be so much of a coincidence if we stan the same group?

I gave it back to Taehee since it looks like it'll take him long to reply. While we were doing some project, Taehee lend it back to me, saying that he replied. This time, Chae is with me so I told her I texted him.

1 message

"Yes"

We squealed! We really stan the same groups.

"Who's ur bias? lol"

"Should we also ask him if he's gay?" I jokingly asked Chae.

Ever since we get to see him, we always contemplate whether he's gay or just feminine. There's no way a good looking and hygienic guy in his years are... Don't get me wrong but, he's just so different from the others.

"Yeah!" Chae laughed with me.

"Are you gay or just feminine?"

Hours before he replied again.

replied to : Who's ur bias? lol

"Taeyang and Yoona"

That's weird. Taeyang was my first ever bias in bigbang and Yoona is also my bias.

Chaeyoung and I squealed as we read the text.

"But he didn't replied to the other question," Chaeyoung frowned and snatched the phone.

replied to: Are you gay or just feminine?

"Ahem"

I gaped at Chae. "You did not..."

"I just did." She shrugged and smugly looks at me. "What? To cut off our dying curiosity too."

I rolled my eyes at her, not believing what she just did. I mean, it was kinda... weird way to ask(?)

Hours later again before he replied.

"Fem"

We were about to go home when we got the message. Chae and I gasped as we read it.

Yoongi finished cooking and hummed a song I've never heard before. The food smells so good that it made its way to my stomach. A soft grumble from my stomach made him chuckle. With the foods presented in front of me in a very delightful way, it felt like I'm at a five star restaurant.

"Careful, Mr Min, or else I'm going to think you're trying to impress me," I snickered, not knowing where did I got the confidence.

"Maybe... I do want to impress you." Yoongi's voice dropped an octave. Seeing my reaction, he chuckled and took a bite of his food. Eyes never leaving mine.

My earlier smirk was wiped off.

What the fuck? Did he just casually flirted back or I'm too deep in my delusions?

I blinked. Once. Twice. Till I noticed I literally stopped breathing. I choke out a breath and Yoongi immediately gave me a water. I felt my blood rush to my cheek and even to my ears.

"Are you okay?" He was tilting his head as he asked. Then I noticed it. He was suppressing his smirk.

I nodded and took a bite of the food he made. I sensed the way he quietly observed me. The time the food went to my mouth, I groaned softly how good it tastes. My brows knitted as I chewed it.

Yoongi seemed to be surprised by my reaction, "Do you...not like it?"

I quickly shook my head as I gulped it down. "What do you mean? It's really good."

He chuckled and subtly observed me more. Noticing that what I meant by frowning—is good food.

Moments passed by and we just ate quietly. It wasn't the awkward silence, but more like silence that is comfortable enough.

After a while, Yoongi cleared his throat to break off the silence. "Why did you left?"

Part of me already knew this moment will happen—that some old acquaintance will ask me this once we cross paths. But never have I ever thought that it will be Min Yoongi.

"It's just... I felt suffocated." I took a spoonful of food. Hoping that he won't ask further more.

One thing I'm a hundred percent sure about Yoongi after meeting him again— is that he's really great at this psychologist stuffs.

Personally, if I ever become a psychologist, I might end up manipulating the people around me. Analyze their body language and the way they show off their selves. Play with their heads like this is just all some sort of a game.

To be honest, I have more potential of becoming a patient—which is I literally am right now.

I thought of his question to be too personal. Especially since we're not even at the clinic. I felt awkward. Too exposed. Bare in front of him.

Winter 2010

Expecting no one to be at the library since it's still class hours, I went inside to read the latest volume of the manga I've been reading—Ouran Highschool Host Club. This manga might be the funniest shoujo manga I've read. A few years ago, they released an anime series adaptation. I was so thrilled when I watched it.

I sat at my usual spot. Taking out the manga and was about to read until I looked at my surrounding. I gasped when I saw Yoongi sleeping across me. Just a few tables away. His head was resting over his arms, sleeping so soundlessly.

Why is Neko sleeping at this hour?

The manga was forgotten by the time I saw him. I took out my sketchbook instead.

Observing every features of his face, from his fair skin to his brown hair. With his eyes closed and his lips pouting a bit, he looks so soft. His cute button nose...

I wanna boop his nose.

I made a quick sketch of him before leaving. I took a pic of the drawing for remembrance since I drew him too good for a short amount of time. It was about time for my next subject and I had to go. I signed my drawing with a cat -ㅅ- before slipping it in the book on his table.

I quietly giggle at the thought of becoming an anonymous artist.

I hope he won't think I'm a creep.

After having breakfast at Yoongi's, I tried to help him do the dishes—in which he refused, forcing me to go do my thing instead.

When I went home, I prepared the painting for Mr Jung in my studio. This is the only reason I took this house, with it's large vacant space, I can have a built-in studio.

Analyzing the painting, I made sure there's no dents nor faulty parts. I sighed and took my phone to update Jimin so he can send it to my client. I prefer that my manager have the contacts instead of me so that my phone won't be bombard by my client's demand.

While searching in my contacts, I got a text message from Kook.

"Sorry, noona. I slept too late last night. Promise, I'll make up it to you T^T"

"This kid..." I shook my head as I softly chuckled. I replied to him saying don't worry, just rest before walking towards to my closet.

I looked for a decent outfit for my meeting with Mr Jung. I picked a nice dress and a pair of shoes.

I showered while singing my ass off in the bathroom. Letting the warm water stream down on my body. With my newly bought vanilla scented body wash, I scrubbed my whole body with it. After showering, I felt so refreshed.

I blow dried my hair and put on the clothes. I decided to put on some light makeup. I tried to do it in the way those xiaohongshu girlies do their makeup.

"Why do I feel like I'm going to a blind date instead..." I snickered as I dolled up more.

Usually, it is Jimin who meets up with the clients since he's the communicator. So far, I've never met Mr Jung due to my busy schedule. Based on Jimin, he's a nice young man. That's all I have to know. I trust Jimin's instincts more than mine, so if he says he's nice, he's nice.

I'm going with Jimin today, he's going to pick me up in a few minutes.

I heard a car parking and soon after, my doorbell rang. I was greeted with a smiling Jimin.

"Morning," he smiled as he took the big ass painting in my arms, putting it in the back seat of his car.

Jimin opened the door of the passenger's seat, as I was about to hop in, I caught a glimpse of Yoongi drinking coffee in his terrace. Not even hiding that he was in fact looking at us.

Jimin saw my hesitation and followed my gaze. I heard him softly chuckled. "Come on, Y/n. We'll be late."

The fuck you smirking at, Mr Park?

I glared at him as he grinned back at me.

I went inside of the car and we drove off.

part 4 read here^^

A/N: the convo part where they were asking abt kpop, the real conversation I had with that guy, was me asking if he likes bts and twice (same response) and his bias are tae and nayeon>< Told y'all, this is based irl. And that mf reallllyyy looks good. He gives off some Taehyung and Sunoo (enhypen) vibes ngl. And we did asked him if he's gay or what. This is all real—most of it, yeah. And the drawing part from the earlier parts? That was real too. I wish I could show the pic...but I'm not sure if y'all be interested anyways-_- This is literally a Yoongi ff based on my hs days lmaooo I inspired this ff because I still think up to this day- "why am i running just to see a glimpse of him". The events that happened with this guy is just so funny I had to put it on SOME scenes (not all, cause nothing really happened btwn us-_-) so... other scene are really based on my delusions heh. The scene where Taehee called him "oppa" was used coz Yoongi's older, not "oPpaRR" (flirting). Using oppa feels so cringe since this ff is in english. I thought of using a male charac so it'll be "hyung" instead but the message might come off wrong.(If I use a guy, it'll come off like he has some crush on YN since he literally was willing to let her do anything.) I used it so that you'll see how DRY he texts--not giving a single fck abt Taehee. Do u get the vision?? Im sorry lol T_T T_T

Taglist: @choijay-07 @sanarin @yooforeaa @this-most-assuredly-counts @minniejim

[yan-lorkai]

Hiiiii if you're not too busy could i request yandere Leeches (twst) with a Yuu who basically ignores their red flags and thinks it's cute instead, like accepting almost any behaviour once they're in a relationship, killing, stalking, kidnapping, sadism, clinginess, threats to other people, etc the only thing they need is to not have their technological devices be checked and ofc being able to use them…or so they thought until they heard one of the tweels hurt a cat out of jealousy whether pet or not…that making them go basically bersek and for them to fight the eel, actually somehow being able to land some punches(probably out of pure adrenaline) and actually be able to cause some harm giving the moray a hard time but ultimately losing, Yuu not caring about any punishments for it, not even giving them the pleasure to cry, be happy or make any expression or emotion about it, and refusing to let the aggressive state down now despising them with their life (so hard that not even a love potion would make them stop hating them) Side note: Tbh t'm always excited to read your latest updates. Your writing style is so unique and your ability to capture emotion is truly remarkable 😫 your writing has a way of transporting us readers to another world, and your characters are so vividly presented that it's impossible not to become emotionally invested in their journey (Huh saying this makes me imagine myself with a mustache for some reason but anyways i truly love your writing please never stop 💞💞💞) -Curious Anon

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ﾟ a/n: It took me a while but I finally came around and finished writing this. Thank you for your gentle words and I hope you enjoy this ♡♡♡

It happened too fast.

Right after your "I hate both of you."

You blinked and suddenly were on the floor, face hurting from the slap you had just received from one of the men who was supposed to love you and care for you. It hurt. It stings, even. Your trust was betrayed, and played like it was a rare game many couldn't have. But you wouldn't cry, even if your heart was bleeding.

"That's all you got?" You asked, voice even, as you stared at Jade, who was looming over you.

He seemed to be examining your swollen cheek, searching for any signs of weakness he could explore. Now, he was just a predator and you were his prey; his very loved prey who was preparing to fight, to show your claws and teeth. After all, two can play this game, even if you were in disadvantage.

"Shrimpy was talkin big but you sure ain't that strong." Floyd muttered, guiltless as he stared down at you. "I could do so much worse. Could tear ya to shreds and bathe in your blood. Still wanna play this game, honey?"

Floyd’s grin stretches wider, all sharp teeth and predatory amusement, as he looms over you. His shadow swallows you whole, the weight of his presence suffocating.

"But I ain’t gonna… not yet, anyway," he purrs, tilting his head like a shark circling its prey. "See, I like it when ya squirm. When ya think ya got a chance to run and hide, and fight with these cute little hands of yours."

His hand shoots out, fingers tangling in your hair — not enough to hurt, but enough to make sure you don’t go anywhere. He yanks you just close enough that his breath ghosts over your lips, warm and tinged with the salt of the sea.

"So tell me, shrimpy," he murmurs, voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. "You still wanna play? Or you gonna admit ya lost and ask for forgiveness?"

Your pulse thrums in your throat, trapped between defiance and survival instinct. But something in his eyes — wild, unstable, hungry — tells you the wrong answer might just tip him over the edge.

And Floyd Leech loves edges.

You search for your other lover, seeing if he agrees to this. The worst part is that he does. Your heart pounds as desperation is clawing at your throat. "You— you can't seriously be okay with this," you plead, searching his eyes for any flicker of reason.

But Jade only smiles, slow and serene, like a predator who’s already won.

"Now, now," he chides, tilting his head with that same eerie calm. "Floyd does have a point. You have been rather… reckless with our affections, everything we do is for your own good. You shouldn't doubt us and yet, you did." His gloved fingers trail along your jaw, deceptively gentle. "Nonetheless you also said you hate us. Perhaps a lesson is in order."

Your blood runs cold.

Floyd’s grip tightens in your hair, his laugh vibrating against your skin. "Told ya, shrimpy~ Even he thinks ya need to be put in your place."

Jade steps closer, his voice a velvet purr. "Don’t worry, darling. We’ll take very good care of you."

And then —

They both lunge forward, and there's pain, sorrow and hatred, blood, laughter and bones breaking.

And your world goes dark quickly.

[bitesyoubitesyoubitesyoubitesyo]

CW; Gn reader, smut, yandere elements, noncon/dubcon (reader starts to enjoy it near the end), somnophilia, drugging, praise, a bit of blood, bad writing, yandere is also gn and is implied to have a dick but it can also be read as a strap, not proofread

Shy and perverted yan (degenerate loser) who spends their free time watching porn and playing ero visual novels with an Innocent and naive darling with no sense of personal space or social etiquette.

The two of you were paired up for a school assignment, despite yan's complaints to the teacher about doing a group assignment.

Your presence only heightens their reluctance. You're always finding some way to touch them, some way to compliment them- and they know it's entirely friendly but god. They already barely interact with people to begin with and then you... Sweet, pure, pretty you... All of a sudden decides they're deserving of your kind treatment? They can't help but get excited.

They really, really want to try and make a genuine friend but it's hard when every little touch and praise goes straight to their crotch.

Yan's intrusive thoughts get the better of them, so they invite you over to their house to work on your project together. Of course, you agreed, thinking their intentions were nothing more than wanting to get a good grade. You're glad your partner is passionate!

You're so, unbearably cute.

Once in their room, they offer to make you some hot chocolate. It's cold out, and everybody likes hot chocolate, right? What you didn't know was that they ground up a sedative pill and sprinkled it into your drink.

After about an hour of working together on your project and slowly sipping your hot chocolate, they were beginning to worry that the sedative didn't even work- until you started dozing off on their shoulder.

Yan was so excited, it was finally happening... They almost didn't want to follow through with their original plan because of how sweet you looked asleep on their shoulder, but eventually it just made them more horny.

They carefully lift you up onto their bed, laying you down and undressing you slowly before slipping some ropes out from under their bed. They hadn't expected to use them so soon, but you were just such an easy catch, it was laughable.

They tied the ropes tight around your body, tight enough to hurt if you struggled too much. Once they were finished, they stepped back to admire. Your vulnerable, untouched body, wrapped up all for them... Aah, they just couldn't take it! They had wanted to wait until you were awake, but you wouldn't mind if they just took you then, right?

Running their filthy hands all over your skin, they start humping your leg like a dog in heat. They've been so horny ever since you drank the hot chocolate, and they've been getting off to the thought of you like this since you were paired up together. It almost felt like this was a dream...

Yan really wanted to feel guilty about corrupting you like this, but when they were finally inside of you, they couldn't bring themself to care.

You woke up to the intrusion, crying out in pain as they shushed you. "Sshh, shh... It's okay..." They whispered to you, mouth to your ear, rutting into you with an uncharacteristic eagerness.

The stinging sensation was unbearable and you writhed beneath your ropes- and paired with the flustered confusion on your face, you couldn't look cuter to yan.

"This is normal... It hurts now, but you're gonna feel so good soon. Trust me, my angel..." Their hushed words make you uncomfortable, and somewhere in the back of your mind you know this isn't normal, but you can't help but trust them. They've been so nice to you! They wouldn't hurt you on purpose.

You look down and notice blood dripping from where the two of you are connected, pooling beneath your ass. The sight is overwhelming, but you don't get too much time to dwell on it before they thrust into you particularly harshly.

A pathetic sob escapes from your lips as tears roll down your face. Yan coos at you, kissing away your tears and reaching their hand down to rub at your sex. The thought of enjoying this feels wrong, but you can't deny the way the pain slowly morphs into pleasure.

Soon enough, more moans of ecstasy are escaping you rather than cries of pain. "Yeah... See? I told you, it feels good... Hah.. just lay there and take it, my love."

You don't know how long you're gonna be here for, but would it be so wrong for you to say that you hope this doesn't end?

[toruro]

he gets me so high

kind of a follow up to this mingyu drabble but can be read as a stand alone

tags: smut (18+ / mdni), toxic relationships / friendships, pet names (pretty, baby), implied oral sex (m receiving)

w/c: 860+

a/n: no i CANNOT get enough of toxic bff mingyu. sue me ^^

your toxic best friend mingyu just wants you all to himself, is that so bad?

“hey gyu, remember that cool cafe i was talking about? i think i’m gonna go check it out with a friend tomorrow morning,” you tell him back while you're eating your favorite takeout at his place.

“who’re you goin’ with?” he asks casually. you don't notice the way mingyu has his eyes narrowed at you.

"seungcheol invited me, so—"

mingyu scoffs at you after you say that. asks you if you're serious, to which you respond confused with, “yeah, why?” you don't expect to be called a bad best friend. you don't expect to be told that he can't believe you'd done this to him. "i told you two days ago i wanted to check that place out with you, and you said that we'll do it together soon!"

you're a bit confused, because you don't remember that conversation happening, and mingyu is the one who tends to be forgetful, but then he looks at you with this big pout, buff arms crossed over his shoulders, and something in your heart just sinks. "sorry gyu," you tell him with a sigh of defeat.

and suddenly, there are tears in your eyes because the way mingyu had called you a "crappy best friend" reverberates in your skull. your throat clogs up with an ugly ball of hurt as you turn away, eyes stinging with unwanted tears. they're rolling down your cheeks—fat, dripping tears that stain your soft makeup—and you turn away because you just can't bear to have mingyu see you like this.

but then he's next to you, pulling away the hands that cover your face, and you wanna cry even harder when he cups your cheeks and looks down at you as you try and hold back your soft sniffles, whispering, "why're you cryin' baby? don't cry ..,, your face isn't meant for crying ..." so you cry harder because! what could mingyu possibly mean by that?!

and then he's pressing soft kissing into your cheek—his frame is so much larger than yours so when he holds you, it's almost as if he's boxing you in. boxing you in, to keep you in, to keep you safe, and then you realize that you feel so good in his arms—so warm, so loved, and then the tears keep coming because you're a crappy best friend, like mingyu said. you shouldn't deserve any of this!

but then mingyu is quick to cradle the back of your neck and tilt your head up so you can look at him, and he looks so pretty under the dim lighting ... looks so perfect.

mingyu tells you he didn't mean to make you cry. didn't mean to make you feel like shit ... he just wanted you to know how he felt! wanted you to know how much you mean to him!

so you nod along and agree ..,, you hug him close and tell him you're sorry for the nth time and then suddenly, his arms are around your waist and your hands slide under his shirt and then you're on his couch ...

"a-are you sure best friends are supposed to—oh, gyu—" you cut yourself off with your own, high pitched moan when his fingers brush over the sensitive nub of your clit. "—are you sure best friends do th-this?"

"'course pretty," mingyu says casually, rubbing lazy circles over your clit before sinking one finger into your tight hole without as much of a warning. your jaw slacks, breath hitching in your throat. "best friends make each other feel better ... right?"

"y-yeah," you stutter when he slips in a second, fat finger, curling them forward so they hit that one spot that mingyu knows has your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

"'m making you feel good, right baby?" mingyu asks you, using his thumb to rub against your clit as his fingers start to pick up their pace inside your hot cunt.

"re—really good 'gyu," you manage out between soft, breathy moans, before glancing over his body next to you and eyeing the large tent that rests between his legs. some kind of guilt overcomes you—mingyu's the best best friend you could've ever asked for ... so why is he doing all the work? "i—oh shit," you moan when his fingers jut just a bit deeper.

"like it?" he says over a breathy chuckle when you reach your hands over to try and palm him through his pants.

"yeah i—lemme suck you off," you tell him, circling one hand around his wrist to pull his fingers out of you, despite the way your pussy screams at you to be filled again. slowly, you slip off the couch and shift between mingyu's legs so that you're on your knees on the ground.

when you finally look mingyu in the eye, you wonder if it's the same person. he's got this bewildered look, glinting in his irises, and your cunt flutters in anticipation. quickly circling your palms over the cock through his pants, you smile slowly.

"lemme be the best best friend i can ... please 'gyu?"

[suzukiblu]

I kind of want to try your method of posting wips a snippet at a time while writing them, but on the other hand I am nervous about it. Can you give me some advice?

I've been trying to nail down the mixed feelings, and this is what I've got so far:

for:

it will get eyes on my fics faster, and I can show off what I've written sooner, instead of needing to finish a whole chapter

it will encourage engagement both in reacting to specific posts and in asking for more

it will be more chances for people to be intrigued and want to read the whole fic

against:

what if I do it and nobody cares?

til now I've been releasing fics a chapter at a time and it would feel weird to change that. inertia and all

what do I do if/when I change something I've written and already posted a snippet of?

it feels weird to post them on my writing blog, which currently only holds finished chapters (and fanart), but if I post them on my main, I feel like they'll get lost and/or I'll miss reactions in my busy activity channel. Where should I post it to? Should I make yet another sideblog?

in direct response to your listed mixed feelings, in my personal experience of writing this way:

for:

it will get eyes on my fics faster, and I can show off what I've written sooner, instead of needing to finish a whole chapter: yes it will, and it feels great! and personally it also helps me keep momentum and helps soften the sting if I drop a fic/chapter later and people don't have much to say about it. I KNOW it's good, other people already told me they liked it!! no, I'm not gonna throw out the whole story because of one mediocre reception, SHUT UP IMPOSTER SYNDROME AND GET BACK IN THE WRITING TRENCHES.

it will encourage engagement both in reacting to specific posts and in asking for more: yes it does, and WAY more people consistently (and more gratifyingly!) engage with me since I've made a habit of posting this way, especially when they're especially interested in a specific WIP over my other ones, and a lot of people just seem to be more engaged and invested in my writing in general. or at least more willing to tell me that they are, if nothing else, haha.

it will be more chances for people to be intrigued and want to read the whole fic: yes it will, and if you post larger scenes and tag them, then more people are likelier to find you/your writing than would if you only post one chapter in the tags however often you update those. also, if you have a fic-specific WIP tag that you link to, it's very easy for people who are just discovering the WIP to go back and catch up all at once ( or for people who aren't into it to blacklist, if that's a concern, as opposed to them feeling like they have to unfollow/block you ).

against:

what if I do it and nobody cares? good news: they probably won't care! at least to start. that's just kinda how it is, to start. I get a lot of engagement because I am REAL prolific and do my best to be responsive, plus I've been updating this blog and in this specific fandom pretty consistently for over a year, and also have also been in online fandom spaces on and off for, like, legit twenty-five years at this point. so I am just very used to being in these spaces, and I also have readers who've followed me for a decade+ or even since I was an actual literal TEENAGER in at least a couple cases, so like, they're already kinda invested in my writing, haha. there are people following this blog who not only read my Inu-Yasha Miroku/Sesshoumaru fanfic back in the day in the Pit of Voles but also still REMEMBER reading my Inu-Yasha Miroku/Sesshoumaru fanfic back in the day in the Pit of Voles, to say nothing of everyone who found me through AtLA or the MCU or the Witcher ( or so, so much Star Wars meta, the Star Wars meta has also definitely been a thing ). also I update my blog pretty consistently and I do writing memes that reward the people who play with me with new content and more progress in their fave WIPs, and also they're technically "voting" for what they wanna see more of, so that also adds to them feeling engaged/invested and me feeling motivated/energized, because they feel like they've affected the growth and progress of the story ( which they have ) and I feel like they're enjoying the story and genuinely appreciate it ( which they do! ). so everyone wins!

til now I've been releasing fics a chapter at a time and it would feel weird to change that. inertia and all: yeah that is the sunk-cost fallacy trying to fuck you up and you can and should tell it to fuck off. if you try it and you don't like the change, you can just stop doing it. you're free! no one can stop you!! hit the bricks, do your thing, the past is gone and it is NOT in charge of your ass! your ass is all yours!! whatever, we do what we want! I am in fact giving you explicit PERMISSION to do what you want.

what do I do if/when I change something I've written and already posted a snippet of?: then you've changed something! if it's a major change, you can repost the updated scene or mention you're making a change in a separate post or just say there's been a significant change when you post the chapter and therefore people who've already read the WIP posts might wanna reread it, but personally I change and tweak and fiddle with stuff I've already posted all the time. usually it's just bits of phrasing or formatting or adding in little details to round stuff out or correct mistakes, or to clarify things that confused people or that I forgot about, but sometimes it's adding multiple paragraphs or even additional little scenes. it's absolutely a thing I do and a thing that I consider fair play. you're literally posting "work-in-progress" excerpts, it is in the NAME that stuff might/will change or be adjusted. shit, if you feel like it, throw the whole story out and start over with a 2.0 WIP tag!! art is meant to be fucked with!!!!

it feels weird to post them on my writing blog, which currently only holds finished chapters (and fanart), but if I post them on my main, I feel like they'll get lost and/or I'll miss reactions in my busy activity channel. Where should I post it to? Should I make yet another sideblog?: the past is gone! you are free!! it's a writing blog that is for your writing and you can write whatever you want on it. the rules are made up and the points don't matter!! if you want a WIP blog too, you can totally start a WIP blog too, but you also don't have to feel obligated to bloat your sideblog collection or to have to go to all the effort of building up a brand-new following for a brand-new blog when there's already people who followed another blog of yours specifically for your writing. it's your writing blog. it's for your writing. write on it how you please!! if you're SUPER-concerned about the change, include a specific tag on all your WIP snippets that people can just blacklist if they only wanna see your full finished updates. for example I use "rintalk" so people can skip my random talky posts/asks if they wanna but also won't accidentally be filtering out anything they DO wanna see from anyone else on their dash; they can specifically avoid just mine. so like, maybe "octo WIPs" or "nb WIPs" or just whatever you're into would work for you, or just something like that.

unrelated to your for/against: posting stuff like this is not an approach that'll give everyone the same results or even WORK for everyone, obviously, but it works for me because again, I'm prolific, responsive, tend to follow my readers' interests, and have been doing this a lonnnggggg time and have built up an audience both from past fandoms and in specifically DC fandom. and also I'm super, super ADHD. definitely also because of the ADHD. there is . . . there is just so much ADHD lol.

but yeah, like, I'm pretty sure I've been updating pretty consistently for the past . . . what, year or so of DC-hyperfixation? something like that?? I've also published over 300k to AO3 in that time and GOD knows how much more word count I've put up on Tumblr, so like . . . tl;dr, I absolutely think you should give it a try and see if it works for you/if you like it, I just also wanna include the caveat that you shouldn't be discouraged if you don't get an immediate return on or big response to said try. like, I dunno what your followers are like or how much they talk to you, obvi, but I personally had to kind of . . . cultivate, basically? I had to cultivate the communication and the back-and-forth, it didn't just happen immediately. we have cultivated, all of us here, hahaha.

for actual practical excerpt-posting advice, generally speaking, the best start I've found for starting out with posting a WIP as you write it is to take, like, the starting scene of the fic/chapter up until either a narratively-interesting/satisfying end point ( or better yet, a cliffhanger ) and post that as a WIP excerpt in the relevant tags. then you're likelier to introduce the story to new people and bring them by your blog to see more, and they'll come in both primed for and LOOKING for WIP excerpts. then, you know, you can post subsequent scenes or bits in chronological order, ideally. personally when I do WIP Wednesday or anything like that, I don't tag little posts like those in the main tags, just with a WIP tag specific to their story ( which, like, obvi you know I have those, haha, I know you've been around MORE than long enough and even if you hadn't pretty sure I already mentioned them somewhere up there anyway, I'm just being thorough ), but anything that's pushing 400-500 words or longer gets fully tagged with ships/characters/fandom/etc and gets chrono/non-chrono links included in the post and then sent out into the world as my lil' story ambassador, haha. just, you know, use a cut or at least a "long post" tag if it's much longer than that, because like, Tumblr manners and all, hah.

ummmmm . . . so yeah idk how much of that was helpful for you, obviously, but if you have follow-up questions or anything, feel free to hit me up, I'm always down for those and I'll do my best to answer!

[every-dayiwakeup]

😬🩹 for build-a-blurb ask <3

hiiii sorry this is so late! i'm shit at confessions, but i think this is pretty close 😭

"I fucking hate Hawkins," Billy huffs out once his breath catches up with him. He throws his head back, wet grass tickling the base of his skull. Allergies be damned, he feels like hell, and he's not afraid to say it. Everyone within a three mile radius of him can attest to that. "This stupid hick town-"

His companion, formerly known as King Steve, lets out a breathy laugh that's not entirely unwelcome to the ear, but everything has been pissing Billy off since the move, so he scowls in Steve's direction, careful not to move his aching head too much now, because he's started to see spots, and not the fun kind. Before he can demand Steve to answer, to say something, this fucking tree with hair smirks lazily enough for it to be considered a smile, and goes, "I bet she hates you, too."

"Well, fuck you," Billy replies, but this whole thing is so fucking ridiculous that he has to laugh. Monsters. He just fought monsters. Fucking E.T. and shit. Sure, he's been drunk, but c'mon, this... this is crazy!

"Not to worry, man," Steve drones in his best Billy impression -which fucking sucks- "first time?"

"Fuck off," Billy snorts, gingerly rubbing his tender ribs. Yeah, that's gonna leave a bruise by the morning. He's all too familiar with that particular science. "That creepy crawly motherfucker bodied you, dude. Handed your ass out."

Steve rolls his eyes with a wince and a groan that should not feel as good at it does down Billy's spine. But it does. Oh, God. Sure, he'd given up guys for good. It's not like he's immune to pretty boys. He has eyes, and Steve, Steve rules about eighty percent of his thoughts. By far the worst time in your life to get a crush.

"You're welcome, by the way," Steve says after a while.

Billy's tongue unglues from the roof of his mouth. Guess he'll just have to risk saying something stupid. Ah, well. He'll survive. Steve might not. "Hah! For what, looking pretty? Save some for the girls at school."

Steve, thankfully, doesn't read too much into that, because it's Steve. And here Billy is, engaging in a pointless inner monologue where he pretends he knows what he's talking about. Maybe it's just wishful thinking, or the magic glow from those flickering Christmas lights, but they're not blinking anymore. Steve looks really pretty in red. It's unfortunate, really. Fucking unfair. Cruel, even.

"You're bleeding."

Billy blinks, snaps back to reality. "What?"

Steve rolls onto his uninjured side, and pulls his shirt off.

Hello? How hard did I hit my head? "Harrington-" He looks down to see that, oh, yeah, he is bleeding. His right fist's split open. Huh. Shouldn't it sting? Maybe he's too used to pain for it to have any power over him. He grunts slightly when Steve clumsily wraps his hurt hand up like he knows what he's doing.

Billy swallows, watching his every move. Jeez, Steve, he wants to say, you look hot for a guy who almost died, but even he's not that bold. Leaning too far into their mostly harmless banter would make it real. Not that they'd ever be something. "Oh," Billy says in a quick, gruff manner too soft for anyone's ears. "Nurse Harrington," he gushes to save face, "you're takin' care of me? How sweet."

"Shut it," Steve groans, voice slow and syrupy sweet.

"You care about me, you-"

"You're impossible!"

"So I've been told."

"Ugh."

"I can make noises, too, ya know."

"I'm sure you can. That's pretty much all you do, man."

"You sound like you think about it a lot," Billy grins, his bloody spit bubble landing centimeters away from Steve.

"Ugh," Steve says again, but he makes no attempt to flip back over.

He's just been injured, Billy tells himself. Of course he'd move if he could.

"Are you incapable of not being gross?"

Billy shrugs, and something pops. Fuck. He won't be doing that again. "Didn't seem to bother you during Gym."

Steve's eyes snap up, locking in on Billy's face. "... Shut up, dude." He's shirtless. He's got an insane forest of curly chest hair, and he's covered in grime that Billy wants to lick off him. Steve meets his greedy eyes, and he doesn't look away.

For a second, just a second, Billy can't help but wonder if he's not the only one who enjoys their little game of cat and mouse. Being the mouse wouldn't be terrible if the cat was Steve. Stranger things have happened. Who knows. They're both pretty out of it, but aware enough.

Whatever happens... they can blame it on the midnight air. Yeah. Sounds about right. Billy flashes him a ruby-toothed smile and a puffy, purple wink. It's then when he feels pain and this other unnamed feeling.

When he goes to shut his eyes, finally relaxed, he swears he feels a pair of lips kiss the cut above his eyelid. Wishful thinking. Lips don't feel like angel wings on your skin. Nevertheless, any dream's a good dream.

Especially when it's about Steve.

[mxtantrights]

can't feel a thing, but the sting

pairing: Johnny Storm x fem!reader

a/n: feeling inspired and also my crush on Johnny Storm has been relit (ha) so I've decided to write while it's good! this is a continuation after the first part, but can be read as a standalone. reader has the nickname specs and is female.

Technically you are proud of the team for what they're doing. Getting their powers was enough of a phenomena. But becoming superheroes? Now that is something to celebrate.

Except you don't think you can stomach being in the same room as Johnny. Would he even notice you were there? Probably not. He got really good at ignoring you, your calls and texts, you letters.

No you can't go.

You tap the decline option on the e-invite. Then you press send.

The breath you've been holding this whole time finally releases through your mouth. Your head a bit fuzzy.

You feel bad. If anything you should show up for Sue. You two have been talking every week since you've moved. She checks in with how your job is treating you. And you ask how she's adjusting with her new abilities.

Sue, ever the problem solver, is doing great. Testing her powers and Reeds. Ben is not really up to getting poked and prodded. Which is understandable his abilities are more physical than any of the others. He can't exactly turn his 'off'.

She doesn't bring up Johnny. You don't either.

"Hey, are you headed to lunch?" one of the other scientist asks you.

You shake your head, "I'm gonna finish this up. Late lunch."

In front of you is a computer running some algorithms for the launch. You can't believe you're working on another lunch so soon. But here you are. Well, it's different this time. This time no one will be going up into space.

"Alright, try not to work yourself too hard." the scientist says.

And then you're alone in the shared office. Most of your co-workers know that you were apart of the team responsible for, well the Fantastic Four. One of them asked if you were going to the official team announcement. Which you knew nothing about. So you opened your email and checked your inbox and there it was.

You open the email again. It's not a one-reply invite. Your finger moves over the accept button.

Maybe you should go. To see Sue. To congratulate her and Reed and Ben. And Johnny. Maybe it could be like a goodbye.

You press accept.

Then you sigh.

No. You don't want to say goodbye. So you hit the decline button again and change your answer again. Then you close the email.

-

Johnny Storm watches the screen as it happens. The email popped up on Sue's computer. You had declined the invitation.

The tiny hope he felt in his heart dissipates. He huffs and looks around Sue's office. There's a few pictures in frames on her desk. But only one is really grabbing his attention.

One of you and her. You in a graduation robe and a Sue in her white lab coat. Your smile is breathtaking. With your head tipped back and your glasses sitting on top of your nose.

His eyes look back at the computer. And he swears that it's a glitch. He swears that when he sees the computer display an accept response next to your name, that it's a glitch. He's half ready to call IT and see if someone hacked into the computer.

But then he watches in real time as it switched right back to decline. And he knows its no glitch, it's really you.

He doesn't know how to fix this.

[ilyxxnsm]

True Love 01

| is true love supposed to hurt like this?

warning: domestic violence, toxicity. don't judge. smut. reader's body type briefly mentioned. reader's ethnicity's not mentioned, but she's light skinned to white. mental health mentioned (medication, depression, anxiety, ADHD, etc). implied self harm (skin pinching, nail biting, scratching, hair pulling). of course physical abuse (hair pulling, slapping, pinching, punching, he breaks bones be fr, hickeys and bite marks??). drug dealer yoongi. everything against reader. reader's 17, yoongi's 23. this is fucked up, like really fucked up.

| my life by your side was fucked, and now my soul is full of cysts, every time I see my dark circles, I curse the day you put it inside me...

You're laying naked on your bed, feeling the sting of the slaps on your cheek, the bruises his grip left on your body and the hickeys he gave to your neck, you feel happy, despite the pain, cause he's back. He's sitting on the edge of the bed, smoking a cigarette while he reads an article about his favorite rapper, he's not even looking at you.

"Yoongi..."

Reaching to hold his hand gently you call him, like you always do, in contrast with his his rough and possesive grip. You can feel his long, slender calloused fingers and you just want to feel them inside you, but you don't wanna sound greedy, cause you know that'll inflate his ego. But he can read you from head to toe, he knows what you want, how you want it and he's so proud of himself for having you like this, do submissive and ready for him.

"What is it, baby?" He murmurs, leaning closer to you. You can smell the strong scent of tobacco on his breath and feel the heat emanating from him. You're too shy to say it, but he feels in a nice mood today so he's not gonna make you beg. He presses the tip of his cigarette against your thigh, rubbing it until it stops burning and leaving a painful burn mark on you thigh. He lets out a chuckle as you flinch slightly from the burn on your thigh. There he could go, holding you, showing you he loves you, but he don't do nice shit. He told you, his version of loving you was making you his and "You good, baby?" It hurt like hell, but you can't complain cause that'll only feed his need of makin you suffer, so you swallow your sobs and bite your pouty lips, lips he loves to see tremble and bleed.

He watches as your pupils dilate with desire and pain, he knows you're trying to put on a brave face, but he don't care. He just wants to do whatever it takes to make you break down. His hands grips your thighs harder, leaving bruises behind. He takes another drag of his cigarette and puts it out on the ashtray before putting his hand on your cheek, tracing your smooth skin with his calloused thumb, just to raise his hand and land a hard slap across your face.

He sneers at the sound of your whimper, enjoying the sight of marks staining your face, the reddish mark blending with your pale skin making it a sight to behold. Your hands go to your reddening cheek as tears brimming your eyes. He doesn't care for the tears, they're just a bonus as he watch them fall down your face, staining your cheeks with wet mascara tracks, making you look so pretty and vulnerable, just how he loves it. He leans down, pressing his lips on yours, taking your breath away, tasting the salt from your tears and the sweetness of your lip balm. His hands move up to your wrists and he holds them above your head, immobilizing you as he deepens the kiss. You feel so utterly in love with him, like he could ask you to jump off the highest building and you would without a second thought. You love him so much, and nothing he does could ever change that.

He chuckles before biting your lower lip, tugging at it. His free hand wraps around your neck, squeezing tightly and making you gasp for air. It hurts, and you know it's gonna leave a big bruise on your throat, but you don't complain. He chuckles darkly at your muffled protest, feeling you squirm under him, the feeling makes him harder, and that ticks him off more, his arousal making him do stupid, stupid shit. He watches you, his dark eyes devouring you completely, the bruises around your neck, the purple marks he left on your thighs, your red cheeks, your swollen abused lips, your still sore pussy after such rough fucking, his work of art. You look like you've been through hell, and it honestly looks good on you. His grip tightens a little, but just enough to make you shut up without knocking you out.

He grins darkly as he watches you, his other hand now trailing down your chest, his middle finger tracing your bruised and bleeding pussy lips, he smirks before pushing it into you a little, just enough to remind you of the rough fucking you had earlier, as he watches the small mix of pain and delight on your reddened face, your eyes a bit unfocused as he chokes harder. He laughs darkly before slowly easing his finger in and out of your abused pussy, he can feel your body responding to him, your warm little pussy trying to grip onto his one and only finger. Your walls contract slightly around him, not sure if you are trying to fucking push him out or trap him in there. You let tiny choked whimpers, your body pressing against the mattress as your hands hold on to the bedsheets.

He grins before slowly adding two fingers, making you gasp loudly as he easily stretches you open with his thick and long fingers, your swollen pussy struggles to accommodate him, leaving a tiny trail of blood on his fingers, blood he drew a few hours later from fucking you raw without preparation. His grip on your neck is not as tight as before, since he's too focused on your pussy. It hurts, but since it's him, you don't complain and take it gratefully. He starts to slowly thrust his fingers in and out of your pussy, your tiny abused hole gushing pre-cum, such a sight to see. His fingers curl up, trying to scrape against that little button inside you and make you scream for him, yet again. He lets go of your throat, smirking as he watches you gasp for air, and now his whole attention goes to your sweet cunt, two fingers buried inside you and one rubbing your clit.

He watches with a little amazements as your belly starts to bulge, a sign of your womb contracting around his fingers, welcoming him and suck his fingers inside you, his breath hitches, while he feels himself hardening even more by the beautiful sight in front of him, you twitching and whimpering in a torturing pleasure. You sob in ecstacy, covering your mouth with your trembling fingers as you feel your orgasm building up.

He stops his torturous motions, and takes his hand out of you, his fingers glistening with your wetness, he brings it up to his face, smelling your scent deeply on his fingers before he licks them clean with pleasure, you taste so sweet, he could eat you out every day and never get tired. He watched you whimper in frustration after your interrupted orgasm, but he's going to give you something even better.

He lets a wicked smirk free, he slowly unbuttons his jeans and then take it down with his boxers, he has a hard now, his large cock intimidating as it throbs for you, flushed and ready. He chuckles again as he watches you keep yourself busy by rubbing yourself on his hardening bulge, he watches with pure lust in his eyes. He moves himself and laid on the bed, his hands beside his body as he smirks at you. "Go ahead, baby, ride me."

He felt the heat coming from your pussy as you sit on his thighs, slowly sliding down, feeling him stretching out your insides. His cock twitches inside you, he gritted his teeth in restraint as he watches you start moving up and down, holding in the painful whimpers threading to escape from the wide stretching. You always struggle to take him inside since he's like 10-11 inches, sometimes he's nice and let's you ride him to go to your own pace, sometimes he fucks you dry and raw, tearing your walls and not giving a fuck.

He let's you go on with your own pace, watching you fuck him and play yourself, he grabs your tits and twists your nipples, he sees the sweet pain in your eyes as you get ready to cum soon. A groan escapes his lips, he can feel himself about to cum inside you. He loves dominating you, fucking you so bad and making you cry, and that's exactly what he's gonna do when this first "vanilla" round is over.

He feels your pussy clenching his thick cock, squeezing him, he lets himself go as he thrusts his hips up and releases inside your tight pussy, groaning and feeling your tight walls milking him dry. Catching his breath, Yoongi slaps your cheek gently, pulling you to look at him. He smirks at the wet and hot look on your face as you cum on his cock, your juices flowing out of your pussy like a river as you sob in delight, so fucking cute.

He smirks, pulling out of you and watching your pussy gush, loving the sight of seeing you so fucked out on his bed. "Fucking little needy bitch." He uses his semi-limp dick to continue smearing his cum and juices around in and out of your needy pussy and rubbing it on your swollen clit. He grabs his boxers and stuffs them into your mouth in some kind of improvised gag before turning you around onto your stomach, pressing your head against the mattress with his hand.

He's not done with you, not by a long shot. The fact that you're such a easy and willing slut really turns him on, he doesn't even know why he broke up with you if he can have this every night. He's pretty sure he's never going to be able to be satisfied enough by just fucking you once and he wants to hear you scream, so he spits in your asshole, spreading it around with his fingers before aligning his cock with your tight hole.

He growls at the feeling, the tightness of your ass makes him choke up. He wants to fuck you so bad that he sees stars for a moment. "How does it fucking feel, huh? Pretty fucking good?" He doesn't even wait for an answer, he grabs onto your hair and pins your hands behind your back as he roughly fucks your ass, the wet slaps of his hips against you the only real noise in the room aside from your moans from his boxer-gag.

He's gone insane. He knows he's insane. But he cannot stop his actions, he wants to fuck you so hard that you forget your own name. He sees how your body reacts to him, the goosebumps on your skin, the painful muffled moans. The rougher he gets, the more you react, and it's absolutely maddening to him. He leans down and whispers harshly in your ear, "You like that, doll? You want me to fuck you harder? Hmm?" He coos, smacking your ass once but hard.

The sounds you make, the cute as fuck and god-damn sensual fucking moans that come from you even with the boxer-gag, it literally drives the man insane, wanting to fuck you in every way and every hole. He groans as he starts to thrust even faster, his pace relentless and unforgiving. He can feel the pressure building up in his balls, the tension that makes him almost dizzy. "Fuck..." He groans, it feels so fucking good.

He bites his lower lip as he feels himself getting closer to the edge. He wants to drag it out, make you cum over and over again before he allows himself that sweet release but it's so hard to hold back when he can feel just how much your body loves what he's doing to you. He hears your begging, he sees your trembling whole body almost pleading for that cum, that release. He sees the desperation on your drooling face, the flushed cheeks, the teary eyes.

Yoongi pulls back, his thrusts becoming even rougher as he smacks your ass again in that hard, very fucking satisfying motion which only a sadistic asshole like him would be able to pull off without a care in a world. He gives into it. Fuck. He can't hold back anymore and he doesn't want to. With one hard, deep thrust he pushes himself over the edge, grunting deeply as every muscle in his body clenches and tightens with each pulse of his cock inside your bowels. The feeling of his hot cum makes you come too, your ass clenching tightly around his cock. You choke out a few weak whimpers against the gag, tears streaming down your face as you cum so hard you almost faint.

He smirks, panting softly, looking down at the sight of his cum leaking out of your asshole and running down your thighs. He watches you with a dark possessive gleam in his eyes, his body still pressed up against yours. He knows he's hurt you, but it feels to good to stop, he likes to see you in pain, and he knows you like it too. He spreads your asscheeks, admiring your swollen red puckered hole gushing out his cum and your legs trembling like jelly.

He can see strands of cum running down your thighs and pussy lips and it's such a sight to see. He leans down to press a kiss against your tender asscheek, you smells like sex and baby powder, a dangerous combo, you always smell so good. He takes his boxers out for your mouth and you can finally breath correctly, saliva dripping out of your mouth as you take a few seconds to regain consciousness, you feel dazed, like this was a nightmare, a very good and exciting nightmare.

He gives you a cruel smile, enjoying seeing you that vulnerable, looking so fragile like a broken doll. He lays next to you and pulls you into his arms, his hands kneading your ass tightly as your body rests against his and your head against his chest, hearing his heart beat going steadier every minute. You love him so much, despite his rough sex, his aggressive manners, his cold demeanor and his unknown feelings for you, you feel the most pure innocent love for him, uninterested and puppy love.

He puts his hand in your hair, threading his fingers through your soft strands. He leans down to press a light kiss against your lips, so gentle and sweet that it sends shivers down your spine. He whispers in your ear. "Can't even make me cum right but I still fuck you because I want you to remember who you belong to" He whispers, he knows it's not true, he stopped cheating on you cause no girl could please him like you do, but he loves to say this type of stuff so you allow him to go further and further every time, eager to please him and be the best for him.

His arms wrap tighter around your waist, pulling you closer. He runs his thumb over your lips, forcing them to part before slipping it into your mouth, letting it slide against your tongue. "You're such a pretty doll," He whispers, pressing a single peck to your lips, making you whimper for more. He kisses your neck and nibbles on its delicate skin, working his way down, leaving a line of hickeys on your neck and chest for everyone to see.

He wants to fuck you again, he wants to fuck you so bad you scream and beg him to stop, so bad you bleed and pass out. But you're already so spent and tired, he's not a monster either, do he decides to stop, for tonight, at least. He ruffles your hair and presses a kiss against your temple. "Sleep" He says as he stands up to put his clothes back on, lighting a cigarette and standing near the window to smoke.

You wrap yourself in the bedsheets, feeling your body aching. Your cunt and ass are still sore, so you shift uncomfortably and press your thugs together trying to ease the pain, you can still feel his cum inside you, probably you'll be dripping it until tomorrow. But you feel happy, you feel loved, you feel fine cause he's back. He's everything you need, no matter what he does or how much he hurts you, you could never hate him.

The next day, you wake up feeling happy. Yoongi is sleeping peacefully next to you, snoring with his arm thrown over his eyes, still like a mummy. You smile and get off bed carefully, trying to not wake him up as you walk towards the bathroom to clean yourself. As you look into the mirror, you can see the bruises and hickeys he left all over your body. You have a large bruise on your throat from where he choked you last night and one on the back of both of your thighs and on your ass from the harsh pounding.

You take a deep breath and move your hair back away from your neck, tracing the bruises on your skin with your fingers. You let out a sigh, touching them gently before turning around and looking down at the bruises on the back of your thighs. You can't go to school like this, so you'll have to wait until they disappear. You take a quick shower, watching as his cum drips out of your sore cunt and asshole. You finish cleaning yourself up and look back into the mirror. Yoongi's cum is no longer staining your thighs, but the bruises he left behind are still evident of the force he had behind the previous night. It made you smile happily, if only just a little. You walk out of the bathroom wearing only one of his shirts that looks huge on you and a pair of panties, your stomach is empty, but that's just normal after he rearranged your insides last night.

You go to the small kitchen of your apartment to make yourself a coffee, your mind still replaying last night's events. You pour some coffee into a cup and add some milk and vanilla, stirring it softly before taking a sip. Just as you're doing so, feeling your throat ache as you swallow, you feel a rough spank against your ass, the stinging pain making you flinch and almost drop your coffee. You turn around inmediatly, watching Yoongi chuckling to himself in amusement.

"Morning" He grabs your waist and pulls you closer, rubbing his morning wood against your stomach. You giggle shyly, trying to push him away as he kisses your neck hungrily. "Yoongi..." You chuckle, gasping as his hands squeeze your ass cheeks harshly, his rough touch making you feel butterflies in your belly. Sometimes you feel like there's something wrong with you, maybe you're a masochist who likes pain, but you don't like pain, you just like his abuse.

He smirks at your response and grabs your thighs, lifting you up quickly and placing you on the counter top. You blush furiously as he smirks and takes his pants off, showing his rock hard cock that's already leaking pre cum, it looks so pretty and swollen, you just want to make him cum inside you and feel good. He pushes your panties aside and thrusts into you without any preparation, you're not wet yet, so you wince in pain as his cock stretches and tears your walls.

He doesn't care about your reaction, he starts to fuck you hard, grunting and moaning on every thrust. You cry in pain, tears falling down your cheeks as his thrusts hit your womb, making you bleed and bruise a little. He doesn't care, he never cares. "Fuck" He lets out a breathless chuckle, it's cute how even when you're hurting, you don't tell him to stop or push him again, such willing and easy slut with such a delicious cunt.

He starts to speed up, slamming his dick inside your pussy raw and hard, causing you to bleed more. His rough hands grab at your soft flesh, leaving bruises and red marks on your thighs for days after. He grabs your face, making you look at him in the eyes as he keeps fucking you, brutally and without mercy. His cold eyes make you shiver a little, but you don't dare to look away, he would scold you if you did. "Oh my fucking God..." He growls as he feels your tiny ass hands grip his forearms, your cute lips pouting and drooling.

He leans down to kiss you, his rough tongue fucking your mouth while he fucks your cunt. One of his hands reaches for your throat, gripping it lightly at first and then more strongly as he chokes you a little. Your tears fall on him, the saltiness mixing with his own sweat. He loves to hear you scream and moan, it shows how much you crave him to touch you, to fuck you. He loves taking what he wants, and right now it's your wet tight cunt.

He pulls out of you with a loud growl, his cum dripping from your cunt and onto the counter. He smacks your ass brutally, causing you to whimper and cry even more, but he knows how much you love it, how good it makes you feel. "Get on your knees." He commands you and you obey inmediatly, he chuckles while wiping his dick on your face, watching you as you close your eyes and open your mouth to catch every single drop.

He grins at you, wiping a stray tear from your cheek with a rough finger. "I love it when you cry, it's just so fucking hot." He says as he pushes your head down onto his cock again, forcing you to suck him dry of your own spit. You choke and gag, but you don't pull away or try to push him, you just take it. He grabs your hair in a pony tail to handle your head better, rocking your head back and forth, feeling your throat squeeze his tip and your cute lips suck him.

He moans loudly as you deep throat him, your spit dripping from his dick and onto the floor. He's close to coming but he wants to enjoy it for a bit more, teasing your mouth with shallow thrusts. You look so fucking pretty, tears falling of your shiny innocent eyes, flushed cheeks, swollen lips around his shaft and hollowed cheeks. He grabs his phone and takes some pics, just to have something to jerk off to later, he has thousands of pics of you, he didn't even ask you if you were ok with it but you didn't say no either.

He groans as he comes inside your mouth, holding your head tightly and shoving his cock deep in your mouth so you can't spit it out. He watches you as you swallow it all, cum dripping from the corner of your mouth. He throws your hair back gently before giving you a little slap on the cheek with his semi-hard cock, his other hand he takes to his phone to record you while he pumps the last drops on your lips and cheeks.

He gives you a satisfied smile as he watches the mess he made on your face. He takes off his wet cock out of your mouth, pushing it against your face, rubbing it all over, enjoying seeing you like this a little more than he should. He grabs your chin and wipes off the remaining cum from your face with his thumb, before sticking it in your mouth for you to suck clean. You do it happily, breathing heavily and looking up at him with such adoration and submission.

He's the love of your life, you've said it before and you stand behind it. Nothing he does could change that.

Nothing.

[muirmarie]

absolutely pair the spares, i know i know, BUT i was thinking about how much i love m'benga and how he should ALSO get shippy stuff, and then I was trying to figure out who I'd ship him with, and as much as I adore uhura/scotty, I was thinking that since I ALSO love uhura/chapel, that would clear the way for m'benga/scotty, and now I'm very hmmmm Yes I Would Like To See That about them lmao

some things (with the disclaimer that i don't snw so this is all extremely squishy headcanons for geoffrey m'benga that i will abandon or change at the drop of a hat lmao):

m'benga doesn't drink often, BUT he can drink Most ppl under the table when he does drink. scotty is THRILLED to find this out.

scotty starts insisting on m'benga treating him because he's less likely to yell at him then mccoy is, and then after like six months, m'benga, determinedly trying to stay professional, has to give him the "actually i can't be your doctor anymore because Feelings" talk.

scotty's very: aye, i like you, too, but that doesn't change the fact that i'm nae listenin' to mccoy go off about needin' tae take better care of meself. m'benga: i give you the exact same speech once a week, scotty. scotty, smirking: aye, but i like it when you say you're worried about me m'benga, trying not to smile: [fond eye roll]

m'benga is into beekeeping. scotty is endeared by this and keeps trying To Help. scotty, alas, is Very Allergic to bee stings. he keeps trying to make new cool beekeeping toys anyway because the man does Not know when to quit. m'benga, lowkey pathetically, is Very Charmed by this lmaoooo

scotty absolutely coerces m'benga into performing with him at the talent show. i don't know what instrument m'benga plays, but what i DO know is that it has NEVER BEFORE IN ALL OF HUMAN HISTORY been played in a duet with bagpipes. it sounds Terrible, but they have a blast, and that's far more important than their friends eardrums, bless <3

like half their nights in consist of m'benga reading a big stack of medical research papers for fun, and scotty also reading a big stack of engineering research papers for fun, because they're both big nerds

this by the way is how they accidentally revolutionize some medical machine, they're both muttering out loud to themselves about some cool stuff and then end up talking about it together and then are like WAIT A SECOND WE COULD -

mccoy and chapel NEVER let m'benga live that down lmao. "oh did you two come up with any new revolutionary tech during your pillow talk???"

mccoy adamantly tries to enforce a "no loud sex in scotty's room" rule after a Few Incidents (since they share a wall). scotty doesn't take it great. then kirk and scotty lowkey get in a "who can be louder" competition which mccoy and m'benga are uhhhh not thrilled about lmao. they expect spock to at least be the voice of reason. he is not. m'benga and mccoy put their foot down and insist mccoy stays in kirk or spock's room and scotty stays in m'benga's room for ~overnight activities~ after one too many Far Too Embarrassing Mornings After, Look We're Good Work Friends But I Do Not Need to Know What You Sound Like When -

because of their positions (scotty in engineering where the gossip people hear from being all around the ship always filters through him, m'benga with all the gossip flowing through Sickbay) they know So Much about what happens on the ship, and they're sooooooo overconfident that they can keep their relationship on the DL, and they think they ARE because it's not being discussed in their own gossip networks!!!

alas, literally everyone on the ship is aware of them.

the only thing is that everyone thinks the pair are still in crush limbo even after they've been hot and heavy for like. five months. so well-meaning people keep trying to arrange Situations to get them to Confess Their Feelings.

they have no idea this is going on, to be clear. but hey, if they keep getting trapped in rooms then by george they're gonna take the opportunity to enjoy getting a little handsy in the middle of the workday!!!

their dynamic doesn't change though so mostly no one realizes it lmao. honestly this goes on for like three months before kirk has to put a word in a few gossipmonger's ears that hey, the doc and the chief engineer are already very happy, please stop sabotaging the ship to try to get them together, he loves this ship, please stop, you're hurting your captain

i truly believe that scotty is always trying to Do Things to prove his love - which flusters m'benga Every Time because he's not used to being the subject of Romantic Gestures, and i think m'benga is the type to just casually kiss scotty and tell him he loves him and watch scotty go bright red, because the idea of someone loving him so openly and easily is so Foreign to him

basically they're very cute, the end.

[ahoyakosi-kape]

EDIT: Seeing all of this pointless nonsense like "a lot of people hate het ships because they aren't willing to engage with fictional relationships that involve women" gives me headaches. I hope you can acknowledge that mlm ships are still important because THEY'RE QUEER, THAT CONSERVATIVES ARE SEEKING TO CENSOR. While also noting that certain "fujoshis" are presenting sexist trash. After decades of heterosexual ships being the norm, it's now "if you hate het ships, that's because you hate women" instead of "hehe, het ships are awesome when they're bi4bi / t4t." The idea that watching men kissing men wears you out is simply embarrassing. Especially if you complain about it publicly. You suddenly sound like a right-wing jerk who hates Pride Month updates on games, even if they have been around longer than their ejaculation. If you see mothers in their 80s watching gay porn, you guys would faint. And no, whining about White homosexual guys cosplaying as Black women isn't the same as being "uncomfortable" with the amount of mlm fanfiction—the former is a real problem because it hurts Black women and the community. It's also a serious situation that White gay men would evoke their Whiteness first and last. Women drawing gay porn should be the least of your problems. If you told me that gay men aren't legitimate because they're males, I wouldn't be surprised at all. Stop propagating radfem talk. As a girl participating in fandom like millions, I acknowledge that it can be challenging to see female characters examined engagingly. It just stings that all the focus is placed on male characters with similar motifs. There are harmful clichés thrown around, like "disposable girlfriend" or "jezebel." It's evident in Arcane fandom. "They make the woman be a fujoshi/cuck so it's accessible to ignore them" is something I've read, and I agree. It's questionable; it's unwarranted. Nonetheless, it's simple to overlook half of their content without coming across as hostile. I know it's absolutely tempting to educate them, to lash out, to call them a "stupid bitch"—but if they're that idiotic, nothing can be pursued. You do not want to waste your IQ. I block some fujoshis that piss me off because it's just common sense. Yet, I keep wondering if there's an appropriate solution for it. Unfortunately, everyone's answers include "ban BL content so fans would be put to shame!" and the fact that it tolerates conservative and puritanical discourse, which backfires into endorsed homophobia (yes, it always does). You struggle to ensure civility in the face of your hatred for yaoi—yaoi that incels and dudebros despise—and are prepared to eradicate it because it is "woke trash." How much are you willing to redefine fictitious heterosexuality as a "feminist empowerment" concept? Is this not insane to you? Are all the discussions about heterosexuality being 'a tool of patriarchy' meant nothing to you? Are all those repugnant comments from dudebros in a Facebook anime fanpage that fuel your spite to create gay shit—gone? Are you really gonna woke-ify heterosexuality? The same material that's weaponised to hurt queerness? It's exasperating that many fans are driving fictional women/of colour away from romance just for White men's yaoi to be the spotlight. I know the problem, it's not for nothing, and we want to provide solutions. But, I'm begging you, with clasped hands and kneeling, there's a suitable method to talk about this without coming out as your reactionary grandfather who despises communism. Don't be soft, but be stern. Don't insinuate yourself with tactless bullying. Be clever. It's not an excuse to indulge homophobia. You have to know when to recognise intersectionality. Some fans are rancid, I know, but queerness is still queerness. Fiction and reality. Saying something like that is literally anti-gay with progressive language. Performative activism has hurt you enough.

Anyway, I think we should all just inject fentanyl into our veins for progressing like this. It's really embarrassing. I think queer people in the 90s would have a stroke seeing us with this behaviour.