#they're friendly don't worry

[astralflows]

pov: you are about to get zapped

[darkvioletcloud]

Alveol - The Living Lungs

An odd beast the size of a labrador. It appears to resemble the human respiratory system. Its back “skirt” is a set of boneless limbs used for mobility. It shuffles awkwardly across landscapes.

[chaos-bringer-13]

I've seen a lot of people writing Danny as a space ancient and Dan and Dani as ghosts with moon and sun cores, being sort of parts, versions of Danny and therefore weaker. Now, consider: Dan and Dani are both powerful ghosts with really cool cores and stuff but Danny is just some guy™

Dan, who came from an alternate timeline and is kind of from the future but also not, is Clockwork's apprentice and will eventually become an ancient of time. He probably only agreed to have some lessons with Clockwork to understand better what happened to him, but he enjoys his apprenticeship now.

Dani, with her love of travelling, loves seeing all the different places the world offers to her, and that includes space and different planets and maybe even parallel universes, and she accidentally ends up being an apprentice of the space ancient. For now she's probably a baby ancient of freedom or something like that, but she might become an ancient of space in the future.

We can also have something like Dan having a core of destruction or Dani being the Speed Force if you want it to be dcxdp, or any headcanon of yours about their cool powers.

And then there's Danny. And yeah, everyone knows that he's super powerful, but also he's just some guy.

It can go different routes. Does everyone know that Danny is just Danny? Or do they think that with siblings (well, technically a clone and an alternate version, but whatever) so powerful, he must be even stronger? Is Danny actually something terrifyingly eldritch and ancient and strong, almost a god, but he just doesn't know himself? Or is he just really some guy?

Now, because it's obvious that I have a dcxdp brainrot, have a regular "JL summons/meets a powerful ghost" but its Dan and Dani, and they keep mentioning their original/brother who won a fight against them at some point. The JL is very concerned about Dan and Dani's godlike powers, and they can't imagine what Danny is like. And then they meet him (in his human form), and it's just a young adult in casual clothes, very friendly and helpful, with no evident powers. Imagine the confusion. Imagine Dan and Dani, radiating power, in their eldritch ghost forms, admitting that fighting Danny for real is the dumbest thing to do and not even they would succeed... And then there's Danny is jeans and silly t-shirt, waving shyly.

[vaguely-concerned]

in his and davrin's banters, lucanis exhibits a certain little shit energy I don't think we see him have with anyone else other than illario and honestly I am living for this

[purrassicjet]

Sandra Lynn was one of Gilear's groomsmen when he got married to Hallerial. Fight me.

[sleepinglionhearts]

H-how does a MERMAID even get lost at sea, huh?

Say hello to Wakely! 🐟

[kybercrystalhealing]

“jedi maul au” you say without even stopping to consider what an absolute nightmare it would be to have both of them in the temple together. the diametrical opposite of “a joy to have in class”

(this started with maul doing the pigtail pulling and then i realized that in this scenario obi-wan is definitely the troublemaker between the two of them and maul is definitely the teacher’s pet)

[i3utterflyeffect]

Gravity would be so weird for resurrected!victim to experience. Like yeah they've seen its influence on others but they haven't felt for over a decade and even then it was for less than two minutes. Also, they wouldn't be comfortable sparring with the others because the first time they fought they lost and were a ghost for a very long time because of it.

oh yeah definitely. i could see them being very good at controlling themself under the levitation effect just because they're so used to it.

also yeah no, i feel like with the sticks they might spar a little (the others go pretty easy on them since it's pretty evident victim is a bit of a coward), but with Alan it's a complete no-go. the first time they get caught up in a play-fight between Alan and the sticks they just curl up and have a trauma attack and everyone just kind of stops

[not-poignant]

hi there! i just wanted to say i love your writing sooo much, i started out reading your fandom works a few months ago (palmarosa is absolutely delectable) but after dipping my toes into your original work via underline the blue i decided to delve into it more deeply. your universe was hella intimidating ngl (2.6 million words just for the core texts of spoils & fae tales is insane and also very impressive!) but i started with falling falling stars since it appealed to me the most and i’ve read almost the whole thing in the past 4 days. it’s just THAT GOOD.

anyways i suppose i don’t really have a proper question except… in falling falling stars, augus comes across as kinda horrible. i can’t possibly wrap my head around him and gwyn being the “original main couple” or main characters i’m supposed to root for in the rest of the series. is augus really that much of a dickhead in the spoils of the spoiled as well? it seems like that fic must present an entirely different perspective on the character for it to even make sense to root for him. (i hope it wasn’t silly of me to read falling falling stars before the spoils of the spoiled!)

reading underline the blue and then meeting nate in falling falling stars was also like… whiplash. the character seems so incredibly different. is this something i should take into account when it comes to your other verses? underline the rainbow versus spoils versus fae tales i mean. are the stories and plotlines and characters completely different and there’s only internal consistency within each individual universe so to speak?

anyways, reading your author’s notes about your health is so stereotypically ao3 and makes me incredibly grateful that you still take the time to write all this for FREE for us! i wish you the best n hope you don’t take offense to my questions, i really am just curious. you’re a fantastic writer and the way you tackle these difficult subjects is often very cathartic for me to read. i sincerely appreciate everything you do n hope you have a great day whenever you’re reading this :)

Hi anon!

So Falling Falling Stars is like a role reversal of Spoils of the Spoiled. Spoils of the Spoiled actually came many years before, and in that, Efnisien was such a villain that quite a lot of people have never been able to read Falling Falling Stars, or they had to wait a long time to see if it would be worth reading.

Both stories kind of function as 'the main character is the hero of his own story.' Or 'the person who is a villain to one person is a hero to another.'

Augus does do some pretty bad things in Spoils of the Spoiled, but he shows he's capable of growth, he saves Gwyn's life, he's molested by Efnisien (unprovoked), and he's a victim of a lot of circumstances. Much like Efnisien in Falling Falling Stars, he's complicated.

Characters aren't black and white, anon, they have nuance. Someone can do something bad to one person, but still be wonderful to another. Efnisien is actually a great example of this. We're rooting for him. The people who know the people who hurt, might want him dead. Both of those things are true and both of things can be valid. I find that a really interesting grey area to write within! But Augus is very much in that area as well.

Falling Falling Stars and Efnisien's journey would never exist if it wasn't for Augus saving Gwyn's life in Spoils of the Spoiled. In a way, Efnisien - though he'll never realise it - is indebted to Augus for his actions in helping and galvanising Gwyn into the emancipation case that got him away from his abusive family (which very much included Efnisien at the time). And Augus was hurt and threatened by Efnisien for it, more than once.

It's funny reading this though, and I think a few other readers might feel that way. Your feelings about Augus and Gwyn and not being able to 'wrap your head around' them as the good guys / protagonists in the rest of the series is actually how everyone felt about Efnisien.

Like, literally. You're just...on the other end of something everyone else has felt for the character you like.

So we know it's possible, because we all went through it re: learning to care for this version of Efnisien lol.

I will say canon Efnisien in the Fae Tales canon is literally an irredeemable monster, capable of no compassion, who glories in defilement, degradation and torture. He's really not comparable to his human counterpart.

is augus really that much of a dickhead in the spoils of the spoiled as well?

I mean no. Otherwise no one would read the story. He has his dickhead moments, especially in the beginning, just like Efnisien had his dickhead moments in the beginning when he was thinking of torturing Gary and animals and children and other people.

reading underline the blue and then meeting nate in falling falling stars was also like… whiplash. the character seems so incredibly different. is this something i should take into account when it comes to your other verses?

Yes, absolutely.

are the stories and plotlines and characters completely different and there’s only internal consistency within each individual universe so to speak?

It sounds like this might be the first time you've encountered the concept of an Alternative Universe! An Alternative Universe in fandom tends to keep the characters (generally) and changes everything or some other things around them as a way of exploring new scenarios, but also seeing how those scenarios impact the characters.

For example Falling Falling Stars and Spoils of the Spoiled both explored 'what if these characters were human' 'what if they didn't have magical healing' 'what if Gwyn managed to get away from his family.' The characters preserve some aspects of themselves, but not others, as a result.

It's logical that if you take a character that's one thing, and put them in a world where their job, their friends, even their partners change, then aspects of their personality will change! And then the challenge (and fun for us as readers and writers) is to see where they're the same, why they're the same, and where they're different, and why they're different.

What's cathartic about AUs (alternate universes) is we often still get to hit very meaningful moments over and over again in different ways - for example Augus and Gwyn falling in love, or Efnisien making a connection with Gary, or Efnisien starting out very abrasive and hostile and becoming softer and more caring over time etc. The themes are similar, but there's different reasons for these big moments to be happening, and so they happen in different ways, with different dialogue etc.

Meanwhile Nate, as an example, is someone in FFS who we only ever see as an outsider. We don't know how soft he is with Janusz at home. Or with his friends. We only see him in response to a trigger (PTSD), and see him in a very limited way. Of course he will be different when we see a story from his perspective! He's not going to see himself the way someone who hardly knows him and has never seen him vulnerable sees him. Even without him being an omega etc. in Underline the Blue, how Nate lives his life and sees himself has nothing to do with Efnisien. Efnisien has seen maybe 0.00000001% of his entire life and personality (I don't know how numbers work, but trust me, we can't get an accurate read through 'Efnisien the unreliable narrator'), Nate's the one who has to live it. In that sense, it's easier to trust Nate and his loved ones re: what he's really like, than Efnisien.

Likewise, it's easier to trust Augus and Gwyn over what Augus is really like, than Efnisien. And it's easier for us to trust Efnisien and Arden and Kadek over what Efnisien's really like, instead of Augus' perspective, or even Gwyn's.

Efnisien in the Fae Tales canon is only ever an outsider. In fact he's dead by like chapter 15 of Game Theory. Which is good, because he's awful and incapable of being redeemed in any way. He's a torturer in The Wildness Within. Obviously that's quite different to who we end up with, in Falling Falling Stars, and we only end up with him because of Augus and Gwyn's journey in Spoils of the Spoiled. (If you'd read Spoils first anon, trust me, you'd be asking yourself 'I don't know how I could ever want to read a story about Efnisien he seems so awful' instead lol - but I like...the journey, and the challenge, to see if I can guide a reader through someone's inner universe so they can trust a character's growth, even if they don't like them in the beginning).

Anyway, degrees of separation impact how we see the people around us. We as readers are extremely separate from Nate in FFS because Efnisien is. So...yeah, he feels different when we get a story from his perspective! The whiplash is real. Because he becomes a developed character, and not just a 'bad impression' in Efnisien's insecure, sensitive mind. That's the same with Spoils and Falling Falling Stars, we never see Augus' perspective in FFS, we never see Efnisien's in Spoils. That matters.

Sometimes seeing the character's perspective changes everything! I hope that helps :D

[systelon]

now that i'm kinda taking a break off being active as much on twitter bc i had to lock it down, i think i should Also put my random brain thoughts here more often

[bumblingbabooshka]

hiii im in the middle of watching voy for the first time (i just finished watching 6x6 riddles actually) and ive always recognized you as That person who Loves tuvok and i wanted to know your thoughts on neelix and tuvok's relationship? its my favorite aspect of voy personally but im interested in hearing how a massive tuvok fan like you feels about them

Tuvok & Neelix Thoughts (Fractured): Man who grows flowers for food loves a man who grows them purely for beauty, Annoying4Annoying, Comedy routines, Intricate rituals and the playing up of roles, Aliens amongst humans - to assimilate or remain stubborn?, Bringer of water/Bringer of life, Seeing an angel through the mist, Two people who have difficulty communicating and come off as off-putting to those around them, Unrequited love, Love is stored in the food + kitchen, Family men left without any family, People from impossible moons, Jokes that go too far, Horrific loneliness being masked by something else, I won't leave you alone (pos&neg), Cracks in the facade, People pretending and pretending and pretending, Leolaroot I Can't Help It I'm A Moth To The Flame Required Viewing, I can only admit I like you when no one else is around - when the situation's as bleak as can be - when we're seconds from death - only then will I admit that it's been fun. Apologies in the form of sliced apples instead of words vs Apologies in the form of long and tearful contrition. LET ME IN!!! LET ME IN!!!! Locked door you keep bruising your hand banging against. People who love too much so they: keep knocking, keep their ear against the door.

My thoughts are that Neelix is a silly goofy little tragic clown of a man and Tuvok thinks he's so much better than him but in actuality whatever they're up to makes them both look stupid <3 /affectionate Neelix having a crush on Tuvok is canon to me - what Tuvok's response to or level of knowledge of that is changes by the day.

[kessielrg]

"Are you alright?" Aqua turned to see Terra come toward her. She had never felt so relieved and angered at the same time. "Ven is… with Sabrina." Aqua told him. "Pleasantly." "And you can feel it?" This man must be an idiot. Aqua bit her tongue, pursing her lips together and giving a nod. She contemplated telling the hunter that she could almost hear it too, but admitting as such would probably unravel her modesty by proxy. There had to be another outlet. There had to be a way to stave off Ventus's hunger for Sabrina with a different kind of hunger… A hunger Aqua could control- if she wanted to. "Terra… You can help me." Aqua said, holding his hand toward him. "How?" the man questioned as he moved closer.

-

bitch you gonna die xD

[gregoftom]

gross

[mushroom-for-art]

Nvm we're back to movie au because I'm feeling soft featuring obviously our fav @oogaboogaspookyman horrid little bastard who is no longer a horrid bastard but is now a well mannered British little bastard beloved we love the difference

Accident

It happened very quickly. An incorrectly secured light fixture crashed down onto set smashing and destroying the background pieces scattering glass everywhere and set alight. The fire spread beginning to burn all the props due to the paint that was used, background pieces set alight in a blink, it crawled up the background canvases and spread across the rafters, the lights cracking fizzling out with loud bangs sending the building into darkness and panic.

A support beam collapsed over a fire escape as employees screamed and panicked they ran around coughing desperate for an exit one of them grabbed a fire extinguisher to put out the source but was grabbed by the monochrome Mewtwo who snarled about it being an electrical fire from the light you idiot. May coughed her lungs becoming tight as she looked around with difficulty through the quickly gathering smoke and smog, she was in a panic stuck to the spot. She could see her brother lying on the floor, his head was bleeding. He'd been knocked out as a dark Mewtwo stood over him trying to get the debris off of him.

Screams of panic ringed in her ears making her head throb, why weren't the sprinklers turning on? Oh god were they going to die in here? Burn alive due to inadequate safety measures. There were so many people and pokemon here too many lives that'd be too much death. Coughing screaming yelling panic. More people were collapsing or lying down to escape the smoke for air as it filled up the room heavily weighing down on them all. She couldn't let everyone in here die!

The monochromatic Mewtwo felt the tingling of psychic energy in his fingertips like electricity and before he could yell at May ask what the hell she was doing- he was outside. They were all outside. He spun on the spot levitating slightly looking around in a frenzy, the building crackled and the fire raged on. Everyone was out. No. Not everyone.

"May!"

He yelled quickly flying overhead scanning through the crowd of people that had been teleported out the building he flew down towards her manager, the odd dark hued mewtwo with crystals embedded in her body.

"Wheres May?!"

He half asked half demanded as the Two tended to Matts injuries.

"Is she not out here? I saw her eyes glowing?" She asked shushing Matt who groaned and pushed him down gently when he tried to sit up groggily asking where his sister was.

"If she was out here I wouldn't be asking where she was!"

The frustrated monochrome two snarled at her before looking back at the building in growing horror as he heard a loud creak realizing that she was still inside and hadn't been able to get out.

Without really thinking he flew rapidly at the building, being a ghost had its advantages as he phased through the wall keeping an incorporeal state to avoid the effects of smoke as he looked around frantically. The building was thick with black billowing smoke that rolled in waves blocking his view. He couldn't use psychic to move it as it had nowhere to go and it could shove air into the fire. He frantically scanned around, focusing to sense her aura.

In his altered vision he spotted a faint orange glow that began to flicker and falter weakening and quickly flew towards it, she was on the floor passed out either from smoke inhalation or exhaustion from teleporting that many people out of a building with her already weak powers or both. He became corporeal and coughed against the smoke and the horrible heat as he wrapped his arms under hers to haul her up to carry her.

"I'm not letting you die here you blithering idiot,"

He chastised as he pulled her up attempting to hold her and realizing she was heavy as dead weight and the growing smoke in his lungs was weakening his strength, not to mention the flames were creeping in starting to stretch out and lick at his tail and legs in a way that would likely burn. He snorted frustrated, he pulled her up, arms wrapping around her waist as she made a soft mumble noise.

He realized that flames were closing in, his eyes were watering from smoke and heat as he coughed, he could become ghostly while he had the strength but then he wouldn't be able to interact with her, he could save himself but he wouldn't! He wouldn't just let her die here and save his own skin. He hissed as a flame splashed against him snarling towards it before coughing, breathing becoming harder. He heard another long drawn out creak, and a snap, and a fall. Another support beam came falling down right on top of them, he dropped to a crouch holding his body over hers desperate to summon any strength left into a barrier or any kind of protection.

Another crash could be heard from the building, it took multiple staff members and Pokemon to hold back Matt and Darkness, Matt screamed and yelled profanities at them telling, no, demanding them to let him go because his sister was in there. Darkness also shouted at them to see sense that both the mewtwo in that building inch closer to death every second they waste stopping them. They both went quiet as a large flame burst out from the roof of the building with a loud BOOM.

Matt crumbled in the grip of the people restraining him, falling to his knees as he began to sob in despair and pain. Darkness could only stare forward at the raging flames and thick smoke.

It took hours for the fire department to put the flames out, they were aggressive and unrelenting and the thick smoke meant the trained personnel needed to swap out to a safe distance to regain their breath. When the fire finally dimmed to a manageable flicker it was growing dark, the fire had started in the afternoon…

Search and rescue began their job and once more Darkness was restrained, she wasn't trained like they were, they knew how to move rubble without causing it to collapse elsewhere potentially crushing any survivors, she did not. She could only watch in frustration as they slowly methodically did their job. She'd refused care due to her wounds already healing from the synergy energy, Matt had to be given light sedatives for his aggression so he was more, agreeable, about being taken away to be seen for his head injury and assorted burns.

A Gurdurr and Medicham worked together, the Medicham scanning the surroundings with psychic energy to get a mental blueprint of the chaos and carefully instructing Gurdurr on which parts to lift to safely deconstruct the wreckage without causing it to collapse. The Gurdurr carefully threw aside a large ceiling concrete slab before vocalizing to the Medicham. A swirling white and black dome like shape sat planted into the ground with debris piled on top of it. The Medicham vocalized to the other pairs to come help as they began to remove the debris, the human supervisors coming along too, as the broken building was removed the dome seemed to reduce in opacity becoming semi see through.

Inside May and the monochromatic Mewtwo clung to one another desperately, his eyes were shut with dark psychic energy pouring out from the sides of his closed eyes waving and flowing out. May's eyes were wide open but unseeing, completely whitened over and glowing faintly with her psychic energy. Neither of them seemed aware of the situation both just clinging as the dark and white psychic energy protecting them both swirled around them both desperately wanting to protect the other, forming one rather indestructible long lasting protect.

When the last piece of debris was safely removed one of the human search and rescue members gently knocked their knuckles against the very dense protect dome, "can you two hear us?" May's eyes faltered into half lids her psychic energy sparking and fading from her eyes and the dome, she blinked slowly and blinked again before slumping completely limp in the monochrome ones arms as her grip slipped from him, his eyes opened in a start the dark psychic energy overflowing from his eyes darkening the dome over as he snarled before he blinked realizing that it was help. His psychic energy gently blew away in a breeze before he shivered at the cold.

The psychic search and rescue members lifted May's unconscious body onto a stretcher to be taken to an ambulance while the people attempted to look the monochromatic one over. He shoved them away flying up and wobbling slightly in tiredness but followed them into the ambulance taking up the relative seat in the ambulance next to May as they began trying to help her much to Darkness' frustration at the audacity. He slapped away attempts to look him over, snarling at the ambulance worker to focus on the unconscious one, not him.

——————————————————————

The monochrome ones' leg bounced irritated and frustrated as he sat in a chair next to the orange hued Mewtwos hospital bed. He'd been forcefully seen to, so his wounds were bandaged up and he'd been given oxygen and instructions to not go near lung irritants and just to take cough drops for his throat and rest and get sleep. However sleep he would not do, he'd been up all night besides her having left his own bed watching over her in her room, her smoke inhalation had been worse than his as was her burns, she had a breathing mask on to help ensure she got enough oxygen which also acted as a filter that helped remove the lingering smoke in her lungs with each exhale. He'd dragged a night nurse into the room in a panic when he noticed her condition becoming worse, her over exhaustion leading to sickness and a fever so she'd been put on some drip fluids too due to how weakened she was from over exerting herself with her powers.

He'd paced the room multiple times, aggressively straightening the curtains to ensure no moonlight crept in and disturbed her, made sure the blanket properly covered her and tucked her in, fluffed her cushion, checked her medical sheet and that she was hooked up properly multiple times. As of right now he was gently holding her wrist, his fingers pressing faintly to feel her pulse, just to be sure the machines were correct that's all. He sighed softly hanging his head as his leg bounced, the TV in the room mumbled nonsense that he couldn't make out as he was actively ignoring it, especially as it was talking about the fire, his fingers moved down her wrist brushing over her palm hesitantly choosing to rest his two main fingers in her palm pressing them against her hand and squeezing with his thumb at the back of her hand, an unsure hand squeeze without committing to a full hand hold.

He was beginning to grow frustrated ready to aggressively sort her room out again when her thumb twitched and the best it could, squeezed his fingers against her palm. He looked up to see her eyes barely open as if her eyelids were incredibly heavy which they probably were for her.

"Who's getting sued…?" Her voice was incredibly small and croaked before she coughed realizing she definitely shouldn't have spoken. He panicked slightly moving his hand and getting a glass of water for her saying gently,

"hey hey easy,"

He carefully adjusted her bed position so it slowly lifted her into a slanted sitting position not perfectly upright just so she'd still be resting and comfortable, he carefully helped pull back the breathing mask and held the glass to her lips with psychic encouraging her to take small sips less she start coughing again, refusing to move his hand from where it gently half held hers.

When she'd drank about half he put it down and replaced the mask as she breathed and smiled at him, her hand shifted and squeezed his properly holding it, "if you wanted to hold hands you could've asked, didn't need to burn a building down." She made a soft laugh as she squeezed his hand again, her usual cheery joking self despite what happened.

His mouth opened slightly and shut in surprise both at the fact they were now just squeezing each others hands and that was embarrassing and also the accusation though empty.

"I'll burn this whole goddamn building down,"

He chuntered unhappily before pausing and looking back at May.

"Hold on, no, you do not get to get out of this so easy by joking around, what the hell were you thinking?! You could've died?! Why didn't you teleport yourself out with everybody else!"

Admittedly his tone was a lot harsher than he'd meant it to be as May stared at him in surprise before her eyes looked away from him.

"I'm, sorry, I wasn't really, thinking about saving me, just that I couldn't let everyone else die. And even then you still got hurt," her voice was soft and guilty.

The monochrome one stared at her a bit before looking away he went to open his mouth to speak.

"Wait, where's Matt? Is he okay?! I saw his head bleeding? Did he get help?!" May tried to sit herself up and he gently but firmly pushed her back down.

"Your brother is fine he's in another room getting spoiled by some male nurses, now would you STOP thinking about everybody else and fucking think about yourself in this?! You have horrid burns, you inhaled so much smoke and you got a feverish sickness because your body was so weak and overworked! What if I hadn't found you or realized you weren't outside with us?! There's a very real chance you could've died in that fire! I could've- we. We could have lost you. And you have a lot of people who care about you. So why don't you?"

May gripped the bed sheets uncomfortably as she sat there again avoiding his gaze as his eyes softened and he frowned at her. She shrugged uncomfortably and he could see her struggling for the words and the anxiety prickling inside her. He gently squeezed her hand waiting to give her a fair chance to answer.

"....I just don't find that there's much to care about.." Her voice was riddled with guilt as she struggled, "I know, well just, I know compared to a lot of others that I'm, different." She moved her spare hand vaguely, "and, that, made it hard to connect to people, and as well I'm weak, I mean a mewtwo who can't even use her powers properly for herself, pft. Don't have much going for me overall. I know I'm, loud and optimistic and seem confident and sure but, I don't really like myself. Not really. I don't know. Maybe some horrid self pitying self obsessed part of myself believed I didn't really deserve to be saved like everyone else so that's why I wasn't teleported out too, and I guess maybe that self absorbed part of me went well look at that now we can't do anything because you used up all your strength and you're going to let yourself die because you're so pitiful and weak just to what make a point." She shrugged awkwardly, grabbing at her shoulder, "you got hurt because overall I'm a bad person, too obsessed with myself, I mean I'm a lot luckier than other people. I'm much better off than other people and yet here I am feeling sorry for myself and not liking myself. How selfish is that?" She squeezed her own shoulder to self soothe as the guilt began to creep in. "God I'm sorry, I shouldn't have dumped all that on you, here I am again being the biggest selfish, no, no I'm sorry I'm, spiralling you don't need to hear me insult myself because that just manipulates you into having to pity me and tell me it's fine and it's okay when it's not an-"

He moved the mask using his free hand to put a finger on her lips to stop her spiral rambling as he frowned at her softly.

"I don't think you're selfish, I don't think you're physically capable of being selfish, mostly because of your lack of healthy boundaries, but also because you're a good person and sharing and being kind is part of your nature. You're not a bad person for being unhappy even if you think you should be. You're more complex than just the happy May you always are with people."

He moved his finger but pointed threateningly when she opened her mouth.

"No shut up, I'm still talking. You know how I know that you're a good person even when that voice of doubt tells you you're wrong? Do you remember how we first met?"

May blinked but nodded, opening her mouth before being shushed again.

"Shut."

She smiled playfully, closing her mouth to listen.

"You came right up to me when I was lurking in the background with your drink and two brownies from the food table and you smiled at me and introduced yourself right to me, you said you were absolutely over the moon to meet and be working with me, that you'd seen my other shows upon learning we'd be coworkers and that you thought I was really talented and amazing. I know back then I just stared at you as you offered my one of the brownies you'd taken saying you got me one since I was so far away, you know why I was staring? Because you were the first person I've ever worked with to walk right up to me and introduce themselves with unfaltering kindness and warmth."

He glanced away as he spoke.

"The reason I was so far away is because a lot of the time everyone on set that I'm working with is absolutely terrified of me, which I get, it's the eyes I think. But you didn't seem afraid at all."

He looked back at her.

"You have probably brightened so many peoples' days by existing, and I know that voice probably tells you that you're different or weak or secretly evil or whatever insults and feelings you've internalized, but you bring out so much kindness to everyone no matter what."

May squeezed his hand unsure of how to even respond, mouth opening and closing as she struggled. His other hand came to hold hers squeezing her one hand with both of his.

"When you're better, I think we should look into some therapy for you because if you couldn't teleport out because a part of you believes you didn't deserve to be okay then I am really deeply concerned about that because I never want you in that situation again okay?"

May nodded softly as he squeezed her hands again softly confirming an "okay." He smiled softly at her as he gently put his forehead to her hand that he still held.

"You're a big sweetheart ya know, even if you are a horrid drink stealer" May softly spoke and he chuckled knowing she was deflecting slightly now with humor as she usually did from heavier topics but clearly speaking fondly of him.

"Hmm. Just don't go telling anybody."

"I won't." She squeezed his hands the best she could. "I think you're real great too you know, I'm glad you're in my life you do make it better." And he smiled softly to himself.

[devondespresso]

the challenge figuring out a canon-compliant and in-character explanation for The Cheating Thing between stancy and jancy because otherwise both Nancy and Jonathan are so out of character in the Murray scene its extremely jarring. a difficult task but i think I've got something

[pragretti]

Well now I have to reblog it.

Buggers for you @littlefishowo @bigpyrolizard

OP made this post unrebloggable but me and my bf made this meme in a fit of obsession and it had to be shared