#they're celestia's cousins!!

[has-bad-ideas-constantly]

Okay so like I've established that Celestia, Ibuki, and Gundham are sibling, with buki and Gund being twins.

The only people who are properly told that the three are siblings ( or figure out they're related) is Fuyuhiko and Peko because Ibuki mentioned it casually cuz she was under the assumption that it was pretty obvious, Kyoko because Celestia tells her, and Sonia— though she knows they're related she just doesn't really know in what way. Only those four know. Everyone else doesn't.

So now, imagine the confusion of everyone else. Like first day of school for Ibuki and Gundham; Gundham's introducing himself and the forum divas but he goes out of his way to threaten to curse them if anyone disturbs the divas' personal space, and not even a second later Ibuki scoops up the divas and starts playing with em like it's normal and Gundham does nothing he just moves on to whoever was next to introduce themselves. And y'know it's not suspicious that the two got along quite well, they're classmates after all, plus they kinda both had similar vibes one punk and the other emo plus eccentric in their own right. But like they all's mentioned once or twice that they spent their birthday's together as well as holidays and like??? y'all were that close?

Which is weird. Ibuki who could be very blunt and direct and basically calls anything even a bit out of the ordinary out even if it involved her just didn't make any remark on it, and Gundham who's very open about himself just doesn't touch on the topic— because he's totally aware that everyone doesn't know and he chooses not to tell anyone because he believes very firmly that they were smart enough to figure it out on their own especially with how many times they've proven themselves to him!

Next year comes up, Gundham tends to keep the divas with himself, Ibuki, Sonia, Hiyoko or Teru (the divas adore Hiyoko's scratches and Teru gained their affections via treats he makes) when there's an event. So first day of school with new students running around and other students reuniting? The divas are gone and they find them with the underclassmen, hanging out with Celestia specifically and soaking in all the affection from these new kids. Which also pretty wild because the Divas don't trust new people like that.

Not even a week later those three are hanging out pretty consistently, always greetings and acknowledging each other in passing knowing very specific facts about each other, Ibuki knows both their schedule's like the back of her hand, Gundham always has something on hand to grab Ibuki's attention and can easily bring Celestia down from decimating some kid's entire ego and confidence, and Celestia always knows where the other two are. At first their classmates just assumed it was a pact of sorts between the punk, emo, and goth but like?

Ibuki literally barges into Celestia's class one afternoon, fist bumps Monokuma Sensei and practically picks Celestia up from her chair and throws the gambler over her shoulder without a word of explanation. Or how Gundham is consistently seen wearing Celestia's jewelry and Celestia for whatever reason carries a spare pack of strings and treats for the animals Gundham tends to just let loose in the school. Imagine the rumors that stem from that and how not a single one of them address it.

Celestia thinks it's funny how no one knows, Ibuki thinks it's the most obvious thing in the world, and Gundham gives his classmates too much credit.

I also want to remind everyone they're all just sillies, just little fellas.

[draftmlpfim]

rating all mane six ships

just the monogamy ones sry guys </3 feel free to request ones i haven't done if you want in my askbox

twilight x pinkie 6/10 - i like it esp w rarijack and flutterdash, but im a big fan of single twilight idk why. i might be remembering incorrectly but i think i really shipped them when the movie came out bc they had scenes together in that which were cute

twilight x dash 7/10 - ngl kinda interesting, esp w that episode where twilight teaches dash the history of the wonderbolts, but again single twilight is top tier

twilight x aj 8/10 - favorite twilight ship within the mane six. sry guys but her and aj are the most mature imo and they are the moms of the group so this makes sense to me

twilight x rarity 2/10 - eh not interesting to me

twilight x fluttershy 5/10 - kinda neutral, a little interesting but not really

pinkie x dash 3/10 - idk why it was always so important to me but i think they're closer than they are w the rest of the mane six, but i dont think it would ever be romantic. i blame that one tea party playset they came in together (w celestia for some reason) that labeled them as "pony friends forever"

pinkie x aj 0/10 - even if they aren't technically related, they call each other cousin n shit so that's gross

pinkie x rarity 6/10 - only bc rarijack <3 and im a shitty multishipper, but they are very cute and compliment each other in a unique way. wish we had more episodes with them being the focus

pinkie x fluttershy 1/10 - sry this wouldn't work. nine out of ten times pinkie is the one triggering fluttershy's anxiety lol

dash x aj 4/10 - i know they're technically canon and i think butch x butch ships need to happen in media more, but i just never really saw it happening. also multishipper thing and flutterdash rarijack, but i honestly did not see romantic chemistry between them

dash x rarity 8/10 - purely for the plot. this would be really really interesting

dash x fluttershy 100/10 - my personal favorite mlp ship. canon for me, childhood friends to lovers, even funnier that fluttershy's brother is so annoying at dash. also love that they have lunch with fluttershy's parents and i imagine that after that one ep they do it w dash's parents too

aj x rarity 10/10 - im such a sucker for opposites attract so :) also i like the idea that they're the type of couple that's hardly ever together but when they are its so perfect and they make each other so happy :)

aj x fluttershy 7/10 - cottagecore lesbian ship cool

rarity x fluttershy 5/10 - similar to my feelings about pinkiedash, i can only really see them being super close friends sry

other popular ships here

[local-pr1nter]

So I've been thinking about THH (again, shocking) and their first motive. Their loved ones featured in the videos.

That got me thinking - what if, instead of the Demon Hunting Game hosted by the Warriors of Hope, they were put into a killing game similar to the THH cast.

Their motive? If they manage to get away with murder, their student in the Hope's Peak Killing Game are allowed to graduate without bloodshed.

Now I'm like 99% sure that this isn't a new concept, but I haven't seen something in a similar fashion to confirm nor deny that. But it would be such an interesting "What if?" situation that I can't help but think about it.

Of course, Toko's stinkbug and Celestia's cat are the exceptions. They can't participate, so they'll simply spectate.

But it would be interesting as a spin off! An AU!! I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT THESE CHARACTERS!

Komaru Naegi (Makoto's younger sister)

Hiroko Hagakure (Yasuhiro's mother)

Taakaki Ishimaru (Kiyotaka's father)

Kanon Nakajima (Leon's younger cousin)

Yuta Asahina (Aoi's younger brother)

Fuhito Kirigiri (Kyoko's Grandfather)

Aloysius Pennyworth (Byakuya's butler)

Takemichi Yukimaru (Mondo's right hand)

Kenshiro (Sakura's Ex)

Fujiko Yamada (Hifumi's older sister)

Ayaka Haneyama (one of Sayaka's Idol Members)

Taichi Fujisaki (Chihiro's father)

This would be so angsty the longer you think about it. They're given a time limit until the Hope's Peak Killing Game begins, which would risk their loved ones potentially getting killed. If they get away with a murder, that would save their loved ones life from the killing game.

UGHHH ITS ALL SO INTERESTING TO THINK ABOUT

[bebeiaarts]

My Opnion About My Childhood Cartoon (MLP)

I know it's been a while, but I've never talked about it, and I cry with nostalgia. I really didn't like the ending of MLP, I didn't want it to have shown them old, I wanted it to end with them still young. And I also didn't like that Twilight grew up like Princess Celestia, I don't think there's any idea that anyone who becomes a princess grows up like that. I don't understand, she doesn't have old woman wrinkles either, she's immortal now? And the way Spike grew up got ugly too. I thought the ending was more sad than happy.

I know it's normal in life to show that we grow and age, but every time it's illustrated in a series, it's much sadder.

I've been watching it since it premiered in 2010 with my cousin.

I used to be Twilight and my cousin Pinkie. We were very similar when we were little;My cousin was always the happy crazy one who wouldn't sit still like Pinkie, she also has similar hair. When I was little I loved math, I was smart, I had straighter hair, today I wear glasses, and I've always been shy and can't make friends online.

(Of course, physically you don't need to look like a character to identify yourself, but I'm just telling you my case).

Every time I see something related to MLP/EG I cry, because of nostalgia and remembering the good times when I was a kid and I spent the whole time watching until season 6, After that I think the story went downhill a bit.

Not to mention that there are a lot of unanswered things, like, the others stayed single?

Why Twilight isn't wearing her replacement crown for the element of harmony she did once at the end of season 4? Instead, she's using a copy of Celestia and Luna, which they turned their crowns into one for Twilight (Because yes).

Why does Twilight wear a necklace now? (She really became a copy of Celestia).

Why did Celestia and Luna leave everything on Twilight's shoulders?

And her castle? After everything they've been through, she's simply going to abandon her castle?

Did Rainbow Dash and Apple Jack become a couple in the end?

Also Twilight could have stayed her usual size, or at least Cadence's size.

Were her two pupils destined to be princesses too?

If Pinkie ended up with Cheese (I always shipped them), I'd like to see Twilight with Flash, and Spike with Rarity (After he grew up). And the end of the book closing, is this all just a story? But in episode 1 of the first season it showed that Twilight read that book.

I'll be honest, I love MLP and EG so much, but a while later I loved EG more. But this series also took a hit, making episodes instead of films, changing their designs, not having a Sunset Shimmer from this world, the Twilight pony never returning there. Scootaloo being defective in her wings made me really sad that she will never be able to fly, since she loves it. But if she doesn't mind I'll be more relieved (even though it's a cartoon)

I also know that at some point the show had to end, but everyone loved this one, and now they're changing it to MLP 3D for a new children's audience, it's horrible! They were still going to win a lot with MLP: FIM, which was the best version of MLP since the 80s in my opinion. And today's children could follow the old ones.

I think they could have done better.

But anyway, I'm very grateful for this wonderful cartoon that was a big part of my childhood, it was always there to cheer me up at any time .

(just like Sonic).

[professionallydeadinside]

Okay, here. This is straight up a copy paste, so it'll sound unhinged as FUCK.

The og royals? The sisters (plus Discord, their brother in my au)? Eldritch beings in my au. Give me non-pony Celestia, Discord, and Luna who went through hardships to have ponies trust them. Give me angst about them having to trap their brother in stone because he got too powerful and too mad with grief over his lover, Shylove, dying in his arms. Give me the sisters feeling like if they stay as their normal state of being, looking a little too much like Discord, they'll get overthrown and hunted down. Give me them pretending to be ponies, but both their habits and their disguises are just a little off.

Shylove (he/they) used to be the gardener for the royal family, who were benevolent rulers, unlike their cousin to the north, King Sombra. One day, as he's trimming some rose bush wall, they hear from the other side, a voice saying a poem. Without thinking, he answers back with another poem. There's silence, then another poem is thrown back at them, with the voice sounding excited. The two go back and forth for the whole day, and when night fell, the voice asked if he would be back tomorrow. They answered truthfully that he doesn't do the roses every day. So, the voice was quiet for a bit, then asked when the next time will be. The answer was the day after tomorrow. So another meeting by the rose bushes was set. And then another. And another. Soon 5 years had passed, with Shylove falling for the voice. On the 5th anniversary of their meeting, the voice asked if they'd want to meet face to face. Shylove agreed, and was surprised when the Crown Prince poked his head over the rose bush wall.

Fearing this was a joke, Shylove burst into tears, which made the Crown Prince so flustered that he fell into the wall, crushing it. The very first thing the two do together face to face is burst into laughter.

A year later, the two were married.

And two years after, King Sombra himself killed Shylove in a fit of rage due to Shylove rejecting his affection.

Shylove's last words were "Look for the butterflies, Dis. It'll show that I will be there for you."

Not even a year later, the sisters put their brother in stone, right above his lover's grave.

Fast forward centuries.

Discord is free, and starts to create havoc, only to freeze for just a moment when he sees it. Butterflies. On a pony. A pony who looks like a spitting image of Shylove. A pony who freezes and her-his-their? eyes seem to glaze over.

Shylove.

Except, not really? Shylove looks different. More androgynous. Are those batpony ears? Their pattern stayed into this life, though the darker coat is new. Suits them.

Then he sees it. On Shylove's ear, the sign of a rainboom.

A fucking rainboom.

The sign of times of change, good or bad.

And Shylove was too near to one.

God. Fucking. DAMMIT.

The last time he saw a rainboom, King Sombra invaded the land and killed Shylove.

Then he sees it. Another pegasus, having more markings, and the placement of said markings indicate that they are the culprit.

And they're all over Shy.

His Shy.

Discord, God of Order and Chaos, sees red.

And blacks out.

When he finally comes too, he sees Shylove, who's crying, but smiling as they hold his face in their hooves.

"I'm sorry Shy..." he says.

"Who cares!?" Shy says, before they kiss him, the two finally together again.

And Applejack lore!

Okay, so, context, Luna is she/moonself. Anastasius Milo (which got changed to Appleseed Apple when he came to Ponyville when the town couldn'tsay his name) is transmasc going be he/him, was a Greek diplomat.

Their story was literally love at first sight, though not in the way people think.

See, Luna was the one that was welcoming dignitaries and diplomats, and when Anastasius peaked out over the ship, they made eye contact, and they felt something click.

Then Anastasius proceeded to trip over his feet, roll down the gang plank, and land right in front of Luna.

They were married within the year.

They fell hard and fast, and genuinely had very little fights, until Nightmare Moon happened.

During another breakdown, Luna accidentally hit Anastasius in the face with a glass jar, which broke on his face and scarred it in various places. It was by pure chance that his didn't go blind.

Luna was horrified, and proceeded to try and lock Anastasius up in a room so that she wouldn't hurt him again. But as someone who could never sit still, Anastasius was going stir crazy. Then he found it out.

He was pregnant.

He knew what he had to do.

So, after a month of being stuck in a room, where he watched from the windows her beloved deteriorate faster and faster, Anastasius waited until morning, the he climbed out the window and ran.

Only Celestia saw this, and knew there would be nothing to save her sister now.

But it's better than watching Anastasius and her niece and/or nephew wasting away.

She now had to face her sister head on.

Later that very day, word had spread around all of Equestria that Nightmare Moon had been banished to the moon itself.

And the newly named Appleseed Apple gave birth to twins. One boy and one girl.

They had more of his coloring, if not a bit darker, but their hair was long and flowing, like their other parent. Luckily, neither were alicorns, which was a brief fear, though he would not have minded.

He made sure before he died that the whole Apple family knew that they were respect the moon, who will always smile down at them.The whole Apple family are a bit strange to be honest. A bit too tall, a bit too strong, they could go longer without sleep, but no one in Ponyville or Appaloosa have any problem with them.

The only thing, really is their temper. Some people joke to never get an Apple mad, or else you might have well angered Nightmare Moon herself with how they can be.

Some even say that the newest set of Apple siblings remind older ponies too much of the old royal family. Especially with their stances, morals, and how close they are.

Applebloom has their hair color, Big Mac has their girth and eye color, and Applejack has the coat color and freckles. As well as their height.

OOOOOOOOOO LOVE ALL OF THIS ITS SO MUCH FUN

[blackbutlerfandomnerddomain]

This is me when making this idea and therefor doing it for no reason than my own pleasure and buisness. Please read ahead in your own accord and give me your thoughts afterwards!

My Danganronpa AU where at least most of the cast are married or related to each other!

This family dynamic needs some explaining to do and this is mostly thanks to my brain not connecting shit or my sister or Tumblr/Reddit doing it's magic!

Okay, so, in this AU/Headcanon Taka's dad was married to a woman who gave birth to twins, Celestia and Taka, however she run off with both of them after they where Mr. Ishimaru managed to get Taka back but was too late to get Celestia back as she was in the system in adoption. She later on gets adopted into the family she has in canon.

So technically Gundham is a bridge of sorts of the five and here's why! He's technically the only one out of the set to have the same mum and dad! When Taka and Celestia's bio mum ran off she ran off to her new boa whom she had out Lord of Ice Gundham Tanaka! Buuuuuuuuut that man wasn't too faithful cause he had an affair with the mother of Ibuki. In "revenge" of this Taka's and Celestia's bio mum went back and got with her ex which resulted in her pregnant with Peko whom, without telling either man she was pregnant in the first place, gave up for adoption. But after this she did start caring for Gunham more and became a more beloved mum. Gundham's parents broke up in this process and he went and lived with his mother while his dad went off and started a relationship with Ibuki's mother who had Kokichi years later.

Sadly, during this time Ibuki was taken away from the home due to it being unfit for her and she wound up in the Foster System, same goes for Kokichi after he was five.

EDIT: I decided to add Mikan in the family as well! She's older than Ibuki by a year, still not sure how to write her other than saying she's Tanaka's sister who the dad took during the messy divorce. EDIT 2: After popular vote Maki is added onto the list! To be fair I was a bit confused how to add her, similar to Mikan, I was going to add her as a twin to Peko but then I thought on it more and decided she was the final child born after Peko but Tanaka's, Ibuki's, Mikan's, and Kokichi's father had custody over her to "get back" at her getting back with her ex husband for a second. His wife got bored and put her up for adoption so yeah-

Yet another case of very confusion yet somehow will make sense!

Mahiru is the second born after Leon, Himiko was the third conceived right after, and Masaru was the last of the family tree.

Starting with Leon's mother and father meeting, getting married, and having him life was great. Until Leon became old enough to realize his mother was being abused and stood up to her, which resulted in him being abused before the man disappeared into the night never to be seen again. After this he was given a somewhat split custody of living not by the father but by the rest of Leon's family especially when his mother left him to deal with her own trauma but promised to return when she is "capable of raising him" her words.

Some time after the separation she fell in love with another man and mad Mahiru soon after. Sadly, the relationship didn't last so long due to the trauma of her first marriage and Mahiru was sent to live with her father.

I would like to edit and say Himiko has the same dad not the same mum as the others

Of course the dad met other women and got them pregnant, Himiko's mother leaving him before he even knew of her pregnancy and then he met Masaru's mother and well his sad life began

As for Soda and Kaito (I can never remember if Soda is his first or last name I think Kazuichi's his last name is he in different areas?)? They're cousins of different sides! Soda is the cousin of Leon and Mahiru from the mum's side while while Kaito is the cousin of Himiko and Masaru from the dad's side.

And yes I know I forgot Kanon, I will fix that mistake here and one day on the list!

Also, does anyone else headcanon Gundham and Soda being once friends when they attended the same middle school?

Oh look at that, another semi broken family!

This one is purely based off bad mums all around!

So, Naegi and Komaru are obviously siblings in this AU but their dad had a brother who is both Kirumi's and Rantaro's father who passed on when out Makoto siblings were too young to know they had cousins.

The mum, however, put them in the system where they were separated and have very faint memories of the other like a "imaginary friend" situation. However, prior of that marriage she had Nagito and like her kids later on she left him alone. Though I'd like to change that a bit. Let's say Nagito was born more so as a surrogate baby. Like the Komaeda paid her to have their child and she gave him to them afterwards.

Hoping to get rich, mother went and slept with a rich man and got pregnant, however said man refused to accept her calls. So what does she do? She left her baby in front of the home of the father's family. . . The Towa's family

And this is just a fun either half-sibling, full sibling but parents divorced scenario, and/or plain "my dad married your mum" scene!

[princess-of-the-corner]

Oh, what are your headcanons/ideas for Caballeron?

Okay so it was like. A lot? A chunk of them were written before 'Daring Done?' I think but I kinda rolled with changing that episode to fit.

ANYWAY

So!

Caballeron and Daring first met in the archaeology department at college(both of them have a doctorate in the field). She was a year older and the two weren't really close but they were aware of each other's existence.

While Daring went straight into adventuring, Caballeron tried more usual archaeology and ended up as a professor himself.

However...

Archaeology is a bit unpopular and underfunded due to certain things. Namely that just. A chunk of history has been rewritten. Nightmare Moon and the Elements of Harmony got the /best/ treatment of being just legend. Discord, Chrysalis and the Changelings, Sombra and the entire Crystal Empire, plus a lot of other stuff I'm adding to the Lore like other Immortals? All erased. No one's heard of any of it.

The Royal Family is aware, Celestia having lived through all that and her nieces and nephews learning family secrets. But at this point there's been so much rewritten and at the time Celestia thought it was better for the Kingdom if left forgotten, but now it's gone too far to turn back.

Except archaeologists dig that up. Because ancient artifacts would show that those things existed or mentioned them. But it goes so against the history and trying to say "hey this ancient carving indicates that there were several Immortals" when everyone /knows/ there's only Celestia and surely Celestia would've said something if she had a bunch of siblings, right?

haha....

So yeah very few Ponies have a genuine interest in archaeology and those that do usually become a bit disillusioned after a while.

This is what happened with Caballeron. He would find something on a dig, and then get it ignored. So why not do something with it and make some money for himself?

But he's not entirely disillusioned which is why he still teaches. But still.

Caballeron also doesn't.... He doesn't quite realize that some of the stuff he's selling are powerful and dangerous artifacts. Again, the Ponies have far too much faith in Celestia being able to keep track of and lock up any doomsday device. And he leaves after he gets paid for getting the thing, so he never sticks around to see Daring deal with the aftermath.

He does run into Daring again and while he offers to partner up, she thinks he's a villain and is also determined to work alone so she turns him down. They do keep up the Rivalmance though whenever they meet.

Caballeron finds out about Daring's books. A few of his students ask him about it since the character in the books match him directly. He's amused by Daring including him, even as a villain, but assumes that a majority of it is a work of fiction and Daring just used him for a few scenes. So he's like 'yeah I know the author and she put me in the book don't worry there's no doomsday artifacts haha'.

Eventually he gets roped into the rest of one of Daring's adventures and has a whole crisis of finding out the rest of the books are full real and also that he kinda had a hand in near world-destruction a few times. Daring's like 'My dude.... really??' but that does make a lot of his actions over the years make sense.

That shit kinda realigns your moral compass so he's not down for stealing in favor of random shady motherfuckers. But he does do regular stuff like Daring does now and if they happen to run into each other they actually mostly joke on the rivalry and work together more. The rivalry more comes into play at the end of 'who manages to run off with the treasure first?'.

Okay stepping away from direct archaeology for a moment:

At some point I decided that Caballeron and Filthy Rich were cousins. They're pretty close actually. Not as much as when they were kids because life got in the way, but he'll still pop around for birthdays and Hearth's Warming.

He is absolutely the 'fun uncle' to Diamond. Nice gifts and teaching the kid some badass skills behind her mom's back.

Speaking of. Caballeron definitely does not like Spoiled. He's never around often to really put his hoof on why she bothers him, plus she's nice because he brings great gifts at Hearth's Warming. But he is not surprised when Rich gets full custody in the divorce.

Since he's been to Ponyville, he's met Pinkie. And Pinkie is down to make friends with everyone so while he thinks she's a bit weird, he rolls with it. I think he's probably met AJ and Rarity in town before, but not in any capacity where they would recognize each other.

Caballeron was surprised to see her during the adventure in 'Daring Don't', but didn't really think much of it because. Well. It's. It's Pinkie. You don't question Pinkie.

This does lead to a bit of fun at some point when he's in town and Rainbow just sees him and fuckin tackles his ass.

Rainbow: "What the hell are you doing here???"

Caballeron: "Well happy Hearth's Warming to you too but what the fuck?"

Man is not the most observant when it comes to Ponies. So he totally never connected 'the rainbow-maned mare that helped Daring those few times' to 'Rainbow Dash the Wonderbolt and Element of Loyalty'. So that throws him for a fuckin loop.

But hey Daring says he's cool now and Dash has befriended worse so she's like 'okay it's chill."

He actually shows up at a great time because Twilight is actually kinda looking for an archaeologist pony to help her deal with everything in the old castle in Everfree.

She offers that and he's a little sus about it because that place is definitely full of historical things most ponies love to dismiss in his line of work. But that is exactly why Twilight wants to dig through the place. She confirms his suspicions about things being hidden purposely, and the Major Events happening have made even common ponies notice that fact. So they're gonna catalogue everything.

Caballeron actually loves the castle and its' traps. He makes part of the deal with Twilight be that he can bring his students there to practice dodging more dangerous ones in other places, because as of right now he just has a very home-alone-esque setup obstacle course but this is fantastic!

Also that one kid Petunia Paleo ends up his TA when she's older.

[notmuchtoconceal]

bro, for real. think bout this shit, bro.

a douche is an instrument which cleans out a pussy. bro, it's an apparatus which cleans out a pussy with running water.

bro, the german word for shower -- it's fuckin dusche, which is only funny hat man with an e.t. away from deutsche, ze name of ze land~!

check this shit, bro. these words are both etymologically descended from the latin ductus by the italian doccia, the matter (latter) meaning leading like what lunks yer head by makin ya aggro-horny with brain damage, while the former (i actually meant former before, so latter now) means conduit | pipe, like what ur brain's made of, like what ur muscles r made of, like what the internet and the sewer systems r made up.

fuckin tress and shit, bro.

it's bout like -- water runnin up and down, even without the tendrils of soggy white and freshly budded visible root masses, or lead it just like ... doesn't stay in one fuckin form ... it turns to air, then semi-solidifes into visible mass, then pours down in droplets, and like ... fuckin ice, bro.

fuckin ice, it all runs still. the shallowest part of you is the toughest. people fuckin walk over you, til they hit a weak spot and plunge into ur depths where they're quickly taken by hypothermia, panic and the lake woman, who is dwelling always with her laquered mermaid claws, bro.

otherwise it's just hangin up there, y'know? bein a cloud. bein so soft and fluffy. veilin the sun like the bride before the weddin. the bride so safe behind her veil, garnished in purity, the chamber of the marriage bed and the chapel and all onlookers obscured, for she is a radiant bouquet!

soft and stinky and ready to dribble down ur face in runnin water.

just wanna bury urself in that soft comfy stuff, bro. maybe it'll harden and a vein'll stand on edge like a thunderbolt, descend down to smack u with an inspiration which fries u, outdated and overworked lil processor.

\\./

bro, listen.

head-man wants u get fuckin douched.

gotta get douched to stay in motion, bro.

gotta stay in motion to descend / ascend

up down up down ~

the stable dance of the material cosmos

though all is spheres.

billiards clack in subatomics overhead -/

~ tramplin celestia underfoot.

//*\

Cousin Fuckin Josh, bro.

Cousin Fuckin Josh Fuckin Hates It When U Get Douched.

Cousin Fuckin Josh Wants to Be The Only Douche.

Cousin Fuckin Josh Wants His Charles Manson Himbro Groupie SlaveGirl Harem Where He's The Only One Fuckin Douche Brah.

Cousin Fuckin Josh Wants Ur Pussy All Nasty So It'll Get Stagnant and Accrue Flavor Bacteria and He Can Be The One To Drive It Out With A Word Cause Dogboy Gonna Get Down and Lick.

He's Your Fuckin Savior, Motherfucker!

[stardze]

here r ze twins! klaus got the independent trait and elijah got the fussy trait, which is like the opposite of the characters they’re named after but hey, it’s not like i have any choice

(klaus is on the top and elijah on the bottom btw)

[qierxing]

Obligations

Yan! Zhongli x Reader

Word Count: 2,837

How long can a man talk before he runs out of air?

Scratch that. How long can this man talk before you decide to strangle him?

"...as such, the rivers, plains, and mountains that are said to have been the remains of what is left of the dead gods remains…."

The intonation of Mr. Zhongli's voice nearly puts you to sleep at the ornate dining table, and if it weren't for the fact that you were at an esteemed establishment (even if you two were in a private room), you surely would've face planted and fallen asleep right there on the mahogany wood. But you don't, because it would be an insult to the very man (and the food) who invited you on this outing.

Mr. Zhongli is a respectable man and apparently, a good friend in your family's circles. Even though you've never met the man till now, even you're aware of his shining reputation; aunties giggling on how he's so charming and polite, cousins admiring his knowledge and strength, and other relatives likewise praising him to high Celestia and above.

And he is, you suppose, very handsome. His face is beautiful; high, defined cheekbones, molten amber eyes that glow warmly, pretty curved pink lips and nose to match. A good face, your auntie would say if she was here. An auspicious face.

“And that is how the geography of Liyue came to be...”

You're sure anyone in your position would be swooning over how his voice flowed like the trickling rivers that ran through Guili plains, but you just wished he would shut up at some point. Not even the delicious spread of food at the glass carousel wheel could distract from his tirade, and that was saying something.

Speaking of, why did he order so much food for only the two of you?

'In Liyue, you can always eat till you drop!' A saying that always echoed among the locals, and still holds true today. But even then, the intricately painted línglóng porcelain holding the remnants of steamed egg soup, roasted duck, squirrel fish, and more and more food, are way too excessive, even if he wanted to impress you.

You idly push around the Tianshu meat on your plate as he continues to drone on, wondering when you can politely excuse yourself without being rude.

-

"So, how was the dinner?" You internally groan as your mom's barely concealed excitement in her voice shows.

"Mama, we just sat there and talked." Well, Zhongli was the one doing most of the talking. But you weren't about to say that, not when you know a lecture awaits that answer.

"Isn't he a very handsome man?" Your mother's eyes gleam dangerously and a resigned sigh leaves your lips as she barrels on confidently. "Doesn't he seem like the perfect husband?!"

"Mama, it's ten in the morning…" What you wouldn’t give to eat your congee in peace.

"He is a respectable man, and quite knowledgeable to boot."

"Not you too, Baba!"

Your father merely chuckles as he continues reading the daily newspaper, and you roll your eyes as he continues chuckling behind the printed pages. Your mother swats at him to finish his porridge, turning to you with a frown on her wrinkled face. You brace yourself, knowing exactly what is coming next.

"[First Name], you're already of marriageable age, you should be looking for your future spouse! Your parents are growing old and when we die-"

"I will be perfectly fine without a husband." You cut her off, rubbing at your forehead. It was too early in the morning for this talk.

"Aiya, I don't want our only child to be by themselves! We will never know peace once we pass away, so much worry-"

You tune the rest of the lecture out, not even having the energy to refute her worries.

When you leave the house to take a walk, you meet the infamous Mr. Zhongli again.

"What a coincidence, I am also taking a walk to clear the mind. Would you perhaps like to join me?" And trapped by societal politeness, and the fact that this man did order you a three course meal the previous night, you agree.

So it's to your surprise that he does not immediately initiate dialogue as the both of you stroll leisurely through the stone gardens in Yunjin terrace, and a comfortable silence falls.

"You seem to have a lot on your mind." You turn to meet his gaze, and then away. Your frustration burns at you in the remainder of the morning's argument, but it dissipates at his concerned face. It is not his fault, you reason, that your mother wants you to court him for a possibility. For fortune. Despite the man's shortcomings, he is nothing but a gentleman.

"I don't want to pry but...I have heard that talking about your thoughts might ease your mind?"

You pause for a long time, breathing out your nose as you close your eyes.

"My parents want me to marry you." You've never been one to mince words, much to your mother's dismay at trying to teach you etiquette. "They think that you're a good match. And they're paranoid about me becoming a spinster."

There's silence for a moment and you open your eyes to not a face of disgust or shock, but rather one of musing.

"And you, [First Name]? What do you think?"

You turn your gaze to the water.

"Honestly? I don't know. I don't know you well enough to make that judgement. I know my parents are worried, but I don't want to get married for the sake of not being alone. I think it's rather selfish, to wish that solely for your partner."

The words tumble out of your mouth, one after another and you wonder how it is that it's easier to confess this to an acquaintance than your own parents.

"I was under the impression that people often like to pursue lasting romance in their lives. It's interesting to see this is not always true." Zhongli hums, hand coming to stroke his chin thoughtfully.

"Perhaps? I don't know. I've always been content with my friends." Shrugging your shoulders, you sigh. "Who knows? Maybe I have yet to meet the right person."

Zhongli hums again in response, seemingly in deep thought with a small frown pulling at his lips. A silence falls once again, and an awkward atmosphere falls upon the both of you.

"Oh yes, I never did thank you for the delicious dinner last night." You note offhandedly, half distracted by the swimming carp in the clear pond water. The water trails are hypnotic, and they help take your mind off the stressful morning you had.

"It was nothing. For my friend's precious child, that was the least I could do." He modestly replies, and you deadpan. It was nothing? A three course meal at Xinyue Pavillion, nothing? You know that squirrel fish did not have a low price tag.

"Regardless, I'm very thankful for your generosity." After all, not many tolerated your blunt, forthright personality, least of all the potential suitors your mother always brought before you. The memory makes you feel guilty at the irritation you had back then at the dinner. "The next time, I insist we have dinner at Wanmin--I've heard their black back perch stew is to die for. My treat."

He hums, and turns to you with a heartbreaking smile, a far cry from his previous countenance. "Is that a promise?"

You raise your eyebrow, "What are you, Morax? Yes, it's a promise, unless you hate fish, I guess."

His amused chuckles are soft but light a warm hearth in your heart.

-

Your mother is growing more daring than you remember.

She shoves you out the door as if you're some kind of fancy wrapped gift to offer to Mr. Zhongli, and there's a manic glee in her eyes as she eyes you and him standing together like a couple.

"[First Name] has been looking forward to this, haven't you, sweetie?"

The Liyuen hanfu she forced you into were a different cut than the modern cheongsam dresses of the current trends. Archaic, if you dare call it that. While some traditionalists still donned hanfu, it was not as common to see it in the streets. When she was shoving you in the under robes, she muttered about how it was something passed down in the family. Which explained a lot. These days, hanfu like this were something of a rich antiquity.

You sigh deeply, tugging your translucent pibo around you tighter as you decide to humor her, if only to get her to stop embarrassing yourselves and leave faster.

"Yes, quite."

Zhongli hums, and when you turn to face him, you're almost unnerved at how his eyes sharpen and scan over you, pupils slit like a dragon's. The moment is gone in a flash and he merely smiles at you gently before taking your hand in his gloved one.

"In that case, shall we get going?"

The nightlife of Liyue is in full swing and Zhongli tugs you closer, and there's something intimate in the way he presses you firmly into his side, the warmth he exudes sending pleasurable tingles down your body.

"Do forgive me for being so bold, [First Name]," He addresses you so tenderly, that you blush when you look back up from your joined hands, "You look absolutely radiant tonight."

How is it this man manages to say such an embarrassing thing so smoothly? What is his secret? He doesn’t seem like the playboys that often loiter around the downtown area of the harbor. You look away, unable to meet his eyes that reflect the lanterns and make his pupils glow.

"T-Thank you, Zhongli, you're too kind."

His eyes never seem to leave you, even when taking in the lovely scenery of Liyue at night. For the bright lanterns glitter and glow on the ocean waves, but his own pupils are glued to your being when you look in your peripheral.

“Is there something on my face?” Tearing your eyes away from the street in front of you, you turn to meet his gaze straight on.

He merely smiles.

“No.” He pushes a stray strand of hair behind your ear, the gesture innocuous, but leaving a burning trail where his finger tips touch your skin. “I believe we have arrived.”

Thankfully you can excuse the burning in your cheeks and neck away with the spices that the Li cuisine favors. If anyone asks, it was the black back parch stew making you look flushed and out of sorts. Never mind the fact that Chef Mao looks quite amused at the fact you’re sputtering in response to his cheeky questions about you showing up with a man to your favored restaurant.

When you look up from checking to make sure your hanfu didn’t get any stains, Zhongli is uncorking a white bottle and pouring it into your cups. At your questioning look, he replies, “Dàqūjiǔ. The Li technique ferments wheat for about two to three months. This one in particular, has a fine aroma after being fermented for a while.”

“Hoh…” You chuckle at his explanation, “You really do know everything.”

“Hardly. I cannot say I know as much as the regular scholar…nonetheless, to good fortune!”

Echoing his cheer, you raise your cup and drink.

The alcohol burns your throat, and you’re reminded of your low alcohol tolerance. Yet, your fellow friend refills your cup just as easily, and who are you to refuse him? By the time you’re on your fourth cup, your world is spinning and you’ve developed a headache.

“Ahaha…wow...everything...is...moving…” You slur incomprehensibly and slump onto the bamboo table.

“Oh dear, we best get you back. In this condition, you’re too vulnerable.”

“No way...if I go back with you...my mom….she won’t let me…!” You raise your head from the cool table, but the effort of doing that makes you groan.

Zhongli all too easily picks you up bridal style, and after bidding goodbye to Chef Mao with a hefty bag of mora, he walks down the now empty streets of Liyue.

“Won’t let you what, dear heart?” He hums, stroking your face gently with the pad of his thumb.

“Won’t let me...let...us...ugh…”

“[First Name], do you like me?”

“Mmh...yeah…” Is all he gets, but the stilted, jagged answer is enough for him. The content smile that breaks his face belies the haunting glow of his molten eyes.

-

When you step out of the door of your bedroom, you're accosted by your sobbing mother.

"Ma-Mama?! What's the matter?" You frantically ask, pushing at her shoulders.

"Oh my sweet child, oh I'm so happy for you! When were you going to tell me, you brat?!"

"Tell you what?!"

"That you're marrying Zhongli, sweetie! Oh, this is such a momentous occasion--"

You're too shell shocked that you do not hear her next words. What? Marry? Zhongli? What on Teyvat was going on--

"--Hurry up, he's waiting for you in the living room!" You're snapped out of your daze when you're ushered hastily into the room, casual robes and all, right in front of the very person you had so many questions for.

The door shutting behind you does not muffle the excited chatter from your parents and you wince when you hear your mother excitedly bantering with your father. Turning and meeting an intense gaze, you feel like you’ve stepped into an arena with a monster.

"Zhongli, why are my parents under the impression we're marrying?"

His golden eyes crinkle in delight at your blunt words, "Because we are, my dear heart."

D-Dear heart?!

"I don't understand."

"What is there not to understand?" You step back as he rises from the cozy armchair he was given. It only just occurs to you how ridiculously tall this man is, and he towers over you, like a mountain.

"I believe we share a mutual attraction. After all, last night only proved it." He leans over and you flinch as he gently cups your face with a small smile.

"We've only known each other for a couple days!" You protest, leaning your face out of his hands. His smile dips into a displeased frown, hands falling to his sides.

"Why need more time to prove what is already there?" He tilts his head. “If this is a matter about your dowry, I’m sure I can help--”

“This isn’t about mora! Zhongli, this is moving way too fast--”

“Is that so? If I’m correct, I believe that your family’s come upon some hard times, no?” And you’re left breathless, struck silent. “Not down to the pits, but just one little slip and...well, your father’s business is already taking loans, isn’t it?”

Your teeth are grinding so hard against each other to the point where it echoes in your head.

“Marry me, [First Name], and you won’t have to worry about any of that. After all, I’ve always had enough good fortune to share. Are you so willing to crush your parent’s hopes and dreams for their child?”

“I-” Your mother’s tears on her weathered face come to mind, wrinkles from stress deeply indented in her skin. Your father, weary, veiny hands covered in scars from hard manual labor, shoulders slumped from his strength sapping. And you realize with a bone chilling fear that this man, this man was threatening to destroy the very foundation of your life.

He smiles upon seeing your uncertain visage, gritted teeth, clenched fists and trembling body.

"You'll look beautiful in red and gold."

-

How numb you feel!

Having to sit there while being dressed, being fawned over by your cousins, cried over by your mother and aunties, and your father and uncles chuckling over your good fortune. All the while, you cannot bring yourself to bring even the fakest smile to your face, only being able to muster up a sheepish smile, but it is of no concern, as everyone seems to mistake it for a shy front for a person about to marry their true love.

At least that’s how your mother is spinning it to your giggling aunties. And even when the festivities are over, you know that this is not the end.

Bare fingers trace your cheeks and lift your veil as a chaste kiss is placed on your lips.

This was supposed to be a day of joy.

Said fingers begin to trail down your body, and more sobs begin to shake your body. When you think about it, this might be the first time you felt his skin touch your own. Zhongli has always dressed conservatively, even covering his hands with his gloves. Thinking about it longer makes your skin crawl.

This was supposed to be--

Zhongli hums appreciatively into your collarbone as he slips your wedding garb off your shoulders, your world collapses and dims, with only a haunting amber light as your guide.

[an-army-of-nightmares]

*cracks knuckles* it's 1am and I'm in the middle of (failing) playing a video game but,,

Mlp tgs >:]

Ough I have Many disconnected thoughts and aus about this and I'm about to ramble to you about All of the them

To start, Jekyll + Hyde are alicorns. He accidentally scienced a bit too strongly and suddenly woke up as now technically the prince of (rogue) science lol. I'm not sure what Jekyll was originally as they're all really good options for him,, OUGH If not alicorn then kirin. Part kirin? Poor man is going to feel he has even more reason to suppress his emotions

Rachel is a pegasus! Or, if we want to expand a bit, a Griffin perhaps? ;0

Jasper is an earth pony :]

Lanyon is a pegasus. But the other options are also v good for him

Frankenstein,, ough,, idk, earth pony speaks to me right now. Unicorn is also good

I like to imagine the lodgers are all sorts of different creatures, kinda like the friendship school. Hehe, Griffin being a griffin, ough or a changling

.

In a mlp au where, while in the same universe, they don't live in the area or time where g4 takes place- and are thus more similar to the tgs world

(If hes an alicorn) Jekyll hides he's an alicorn because "On the one hoof, being the alicorn of science would be great for the society's reputation. On the other. Technically turning myself into an alicorn could be considered blasphemy or an attempt to usurp the throne,,,,"

.

In a mlp au where they are in the same time and place and g4 mlp-

This one is also more silly and character interaction focused because I can't imagine mlp to be condemning the use of mad science, since that's basically magic. They do still have a problem with the whole stitching together corpses thing though. And splitting your soul in half

Jeks has done something with it before I believe, but I really like the idea of Jekyll and Twilight being related. Cousins? Distant cousins? Niece and uncle? Idk, but they're related somehow :] They both went to Celestia's magic school in Canterlot, probably not at the same time though, since I imagine Henry is much older.

Hyde likes to run around being a menace, and if alicorn, might have genuinely fooled a few into believing The Spirit of London Canterlot at Night is some aspect of nightmare moon lol

Jasper came from Ponyville to Canterlot and is actually a were timber wolf! He still worked on the farm. Though I'm not sure if the Apple farm or an unrelated one. If related to the Apple family. Then Japser leaving after getting his Not apple themed cutie mark definitely gave Apple Bloom some extra fears in that one episode where she thought not having an apple cutie mark would get her kicked off the farm (Jasper didn't actually get kicked off the farm)

Jasper and Fluttershy are best friends :] at least pen pals

Lanyon's family would definitely be the type of ponies that go the the grand galloping gala everytime it started up again. The night the main 6 "ruined" the gala was definitely in the top best days of his life. Of the main 6 I think Lanyon would hang out with,, hmm, Twilight? The others might be too energetic for him. But Twilight reminds him of Jekyll. She also isn't too proper and fancy. I think Lanyon would also like Rarity, but at first he immediately hated her. There'd be an episode where they're forced to work together and he realizes that she isn't all that bad

.

In a mlp au where ponies enter the tgs universe. or it could still be tgs in the mlp universe. Um *hands you a crackship*

One of my favorite things about being in this already pretty tight knit fandom is finding niches in them that feel like they cater to my brainrot specifically….

Anyways @jeks-tgs @bindi-the-skunk @an-army-of-nightmares

Wanna brainrot over mlp tgs-

(Sorry for the ping but y’all are cool and I feel like we’d have a grand ol time chatting about it-)

[wattpadscapcons]

Senpai & John Masterlists (Discontinued)

Tankman John

Tankman John Taking Care Of A Tall Child (Reader)

Cuddling w/ Tankman John

Tankman John Wedding Headcanons

Tankman John w/ S/O Who Hums While Working

What Makes Them Snap At Their S/O (John)

Tankman John w/ Short & Badass S/O

Friendship w/ Tankman John

Tankman John (Gifts)

Tankman John w/ Sensitive S/O

General Dating Tankman John Headcanons

Overprotective Cousin (John)

Tankman John w/ Ditzy S/O

Tankman John w/ S/O Who Can Get As Mad As Celestia

Tankman John Comforting Methods

John w/ S/O That Keeps Losing Their Glasses

Tankman John w/ Sick! S/O

Tankman John w/ Biblical Angel S/O

Fire Trauma (John)

Beating BF (Tankman)

Tankman John Fluff

John w/ Cuddly! S/O

A Messy Confession (John)

Coming Out as Asexual w/ Tankman John

John w/ Heartbreak Comfort?

Tankman John (Crushing)

Separated the Twins (Tankman John & Twin! Sibling! Reader)

John w/ Demon! Reader

=

Senpai

Overprotective/Jealous Senpai w/ S/O

Senpai & Laidback S/O w/ Passive Aggressive Side

The Senpai Sleep Plush

FNF Characters Realizing They're In A Video Game (Senpai)

Senpai w/ Fem! S/O That Can Transform Into A Cat

Senpai w/ Very Affectionate S/O

Senpai w/ S/O That Only Wants To Wear Heelies

Rain Clouds (Senpai x insecure reader)

Gamer Rage (Senpai x reader)

Senpai w/ S/O Who Can Get As Mad As Celestia

Senpai w/ Chaotic & Energized S/O

Senpai w/ Children's Book Artist S/O

Trust Checklist (Senpai)

Senpai w/ Nervous Perfectionist! S/O

Wait, You Know What That Is Too? (Senpai x Shy! Reader)

Senpai w/ Comfort

Cake Day Delights (Senpai)

Senpai w/ Reader with Unique Laugh

Senpai w/ Touch Starved S/O

Senpai w/ Music Composer S/O

=

[yandere--stuck]

draconequui headcannons pretty please!! I loved your discord post and really wanna know your cultural headcannons for everything mlp, but I think draconequui would be a cool place to start :0

AAAAAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! You don't know how happy that makes me to hear!!!

Okay okay so

Draconequui live in packs! They're mostly made up of blood-related family members, but can extend to family friends, as well! It includes extended family members, as well - aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.

At some point, some Draconequui will leave their pack to start one with their own mate. They often cross paths with each other, and embers can leave one group and go with another as they please. Children, however, stay with their parents/birth-pack until they've reach maturity.

And speaking of mates, Draconequui bond for life! Which, to them, is basically eternity. They have no real need for marriage ceremonies like ponies do, though, and simply show their devotion to one another as proof of their love.

They purr! They love to nuzzle and get pets, and when they're especially happy and comfortable, they'll let out a rumble from within their chest to show it.

Most of them have names similar to Discord, a synonym of chaos.

They clean each other by licking, much like cats do.

The parts that make up of a Draconequus (for example: Discord - a lizard leg, lion paw, dragon tail, head of a goat, etc.) can depend on the make-up of their parents, but it's usually a mix of both genetic factors and complete randomness. It's a surprise everytime!

... They're used to be so many of them. And now there's only one left. Discord had his own family, a big pack made up of everyone he loved. He was the baby of the family! But, so much time has passed that he can scarcely remember them at all...

They're used to be many Alicorns, too. Until... Something happened. A war broke out between the Alicorns and the Draconequui. The Draconequui fought for themselves, as did the Alicorns - and the rest of ponykind.

There were no survivors. Just children, hidden away from the world until they ventured out on their own, looking for help.

Celestia and Luna found Discord, the three of them the last of their kind. They became fast friends... But, everybody else feared and hated the young Draconequus.

I think at some point, Discord found the body of one of his people. Nobody he knew. They looked like they were sleeping, but they were so cold. His magic wouldn't make them wake up.

Even now, Ponykind is still nervous and unsure about a Draconequus living in their midst. As much as they tried to be accepting and tolerating, ponies had a problem with control. If something was not like them, not a pony, and they couldn't control it... Well, to them, it just didn't feel right. They couldn't control Discord. Who knows what he'd do?

[gelidponies]

Name: Heir to the Sun Princess Honey Sunshine Sweet Heaven aka Honey Sunshine

Family: Queen Celestia (Sire), Royal Consort Applejack (Dam), Princess Luna (Paternal Aunt), Royal Consort Shining Armor (Paternal Uncle), Duchess Beautiful Ghosts (Paternal Cousin), Queen Cadence (Paternal Cousin), Royal Consort Fleur de Lis (Paternal Cousin), Etre a l'Quest (Paternal First Cousin Once Removed)

Personality: Honey is a huge softie...literally, she's got a similar body type to her Aunt Orchard Blossom but nearly her mother Celestias height so the guards can often hear her coming a mile away. They're not scared though, she's very clumsy at times so she tries her best to take things slow and steady. Not to mention she's very compassionate, to the point of being a bit of a crybaby sometimes. She's the type to buy a bruised lemon because she feels bad and thinks nopony else will take it home. She can be a voice of reason sometimes too but usually when she meets a cynic, she likes to point out-still logical but-more positive solutions without leaning into toxic positivity. 

Special Talent: Earth Pony Magic 

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

*cracks knuckles*

all of this was meant to be a parody of every single rom com ever

the mane 6 are all in a polycule but not everypony is dating everypony. These are entirely ships that manda and i had in 2019.

rainbow dash is marrying pinkie pie, fluttershy, and applejack.

pinkie pie is marrying rainbow dash and rarity

rarity is marrying pinkie pie and fluttershy

applejack is marrying rainbow dash and twilight

rarity and applejack have a weird tension going on where both their families and all their other partners think they're also dating each other but they're not. they insist the other drives them insane

because applejack is marrying twilight, spike gives aj a really weak and awkward "shovel talk." spike knows if he actually tried to make good on his threats applejack is strong enough to send him flying through at least 3 walls. applejack knows he knows this. spike knows applejack knows he knows this. applejack tolerates this because she thinks it's cute

shining armor never gives applejack any kind of talk like this. he knows aj would annihilate him in a fight and he has made peace with that

when they get married the mane 6 condense all six marriages into one mega wedding officiated by celestia and they spend a month traveling to get their families blessings

the running gag is that they have t o keep explaining who's getting married to who

for the proposal pinkie pie gets maud to dig up gigantic gems and carves them into her partners' cutie marks. the rings for the engagement aren't practical to wear at all. rarity had neck pain for like 8 weeks after wearing the ring for like 2 hours to show it off.

starlight glimmer and trixie got a shotgun wedding like a week after they met and they spend the whole time leading up to the mane 6's wedding arguing over what present to get. they show up to the wedding 10 minutes late with 10 bags of magic sparklers

everyone, including the rest of the mane 6, are trying to get applejack and rarity together

spike is the ring bearer and owlicious is his assistant. they go on an adventure on the day of the wedding kind of like that one tangled short. one of fluttershy's rings was left in a kitchen. then when they get it twilight's ring got baked into a cake, and so on. by the end they somehow end up with seven rings and have no idea who the last one belonged to.

flash sentry crashes the wedding and declares his still lingering love to twilight as she's about to put a ring on aj's hoof. it doesn't work but he's allowed to stay for the recption. he hooks up with aj's cousin braeburn

zephyr breeze drinks too much cider and starts a drunken toast where he laments how "his sister stole his mare."

shining armor, big mac, zephyr breeze, and all 3 of pinkie's sisters almost fight to the death over who gets to be best mare/stallion and the mare/stallion of honor. in the end the mane 6 pick starlight and trixie to do it since none of them can decide who they ACTUALLY want. the cmcs are flower fillies and aren't involved in this.

twilight has a subplot where she tries to figure out how to squeeze the most tax benefits out of this situation

applejack whinges about leaving the far to move so far away to be with her wife. (she's moving to twilight's castle 2 blocks from sweet apple acres) (the rest of the apple family visit her every day) (eventually she gets the others to move into sweet apple acres with her)

rainbow dash suggests getting a place in cloudsdale and applejack and pinkie pie just. stare at her

fluttershy specifically asks discord not to make the cake explode but he just. couldn't help himself

spike wakes up in the middle of the night and realizes in horror that rarity will be his sister in law three times removed

there is a tradition in pagasi culture where ponies give their partners one of their feathers as a symbol of their love. it's supposed to be a feather that was safely shedded but twilight just. yanks one out of her wing with her teeth to give to applejack. rainbow dash, watching this, faints on the spot

rarity insists on wearing a different gown for every single set of vows, not just her own. she makes a bedazzled suit for one of the marriages to spice it up

twilight is a princess. rainbow dash is a wonderbolt. rarity is a well known canterlot socialite. forget shining armor and cadence THIS is the wedding of the century

every creature in every kingdom in contact with equestria is sending dignitaries to this wedding. it's really fucking expensive. celestia tries to fund it with tax dollars and it causes a riot in equestria. eventually they use the proceeds from the book of friendship to fund the wedding instead

the fans of the book come back from the wedding and start discourse over ships

the moment her friends started proposing pinkie pie goes to huddle in her party bunker to plan the next 50 anniversaries

thorax being an important changeling dignitary is seated towards the front and the poor creatures sitting behind him have to stare at his shiny ass horns for the entire ceremony

during the reception a little while after zephyr lamented about his love for rainbow dash he gets somehow more drunk. so he clinks a glass and declares his undying love for flash sentry who he met 30 minutes ago

pinkie pie gets a few changelings to stand together and shines a big light on their shells, making a disco ball

rainbow dash tries her best to make sure her parents don't come across as too overbearing to her partners but luckily for her fluttershy has known them her whole life so she's used to this. pinkie pie is pinkie pie. applejack is from the apple family

angel bunny throws a huge tantrum because fluttershy is too busy with the wedding and doesnt have as much time to pamper him.

the new 6 from twilight's school sneak some cider and sandbar gets drunk and declares his love for yona. it's not as loud as zephyr breeze but sandbar is definitely 3x more embarrassed about it

limestone tries to lighten up for her sister's wedding but she's just Like That. pinkie pie is fine with it but rarity and rainbow mistake it for animosity and think the pie family in general doesn't approve of the marriage.

limestone gets into an argument with them and angrily says she doesn't want to be part of the wedding anyways. but towards the end of the ceremony she bursts into the wedding hall with a beautifully carved statue of pinkie rainbow and rarity and they get real sentimental

scootaloo has a subplot where rainbow dash assures her that even though they're not biologically related they're still sisters and scootaloo should be comfortable with having a place in rainbow's wedding.

big mac comes to the ceremony in a dress bc he feels more comfortable that way. he and sugar bell have matching gowns for the occasion

there are so many dignitaries at this wedding and twilight is Introverted and talking to all of them stresses her out.

all the guards point their spears at the ceiling for the whole ceremony wreck-it ralph style and are all equipped with bug spray. thorax reminds twilight that the changeling kingdom has made peace with equestria so she doesn't have to do that. twilight isnt taking any chances however bc she hasnt slept in 8 days and is running entirely on red stallion

chrysalis does crash through the ceiling. however after fighting off like 20 guards she reveals that she's just here to drop off a present for the mane 6 and doesn't realize causing property damage isn't considered a polite entrance. the present is a knitted muumuu 3 sizes too small for anypony but they appreciate the gesture

the day before the wedding twilight asks rarity to help do her makeup so she doesn't look like she hasn't slept in 8 days. instead rarity and aj tie twilight up and sit on her until she gets tired of listening to their flirting and falls asleep

rainbow dash is entirely chill the whole time until 30 minutes before the actual wedding when she has a meltdown about how nervous she is about getting married. massive waterworks.

pinkie pie is the only mane 6 who doesn't get blackout drunk. she can handle her parties

celestia and luna fight over who gets to officiate the wedding. celestia wants to because she's proud of how far twilight's come with her magic studies (since wives are just ultra mega best friends when you really think about it) but luna wants to because celestia officiated the last wedding and it's not fairrrrrrr tiaaaaaaaaa

during the ceremony celestia gets confused and asks if applejack and rarity will take each other as their lawfully wedded wives. instead of telling her she got the combination wrong aj and rarity just look at each other and say "fuck it, why not"

applejack says sure but rarity screams "I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH GOWNS FOR THIS" and books it back to carousel boutique. she manages to throw something together in like 5 minutes and it looks really good

when we found about about the mlp finale we decided lil cheese will be the head flower foal for the ceremony. pinkie can stay married to weird al pony but she's still getting married to her friends.

hey yall should ask me about the mane 6 polycule wedding fic that @mandareeboo and i came up with like 5 years ago

[crazyyanderefangirlfan]

Calypso voice lines

Normal voice lines

Hello - "Oh, hello. I'm Calypso Nikos, very nice to meet you. If you have any wounds that need to be treated, let me know."

Chat (Traveling) -"I travelled to many a places to learn all I can about healing and helping others too."

Chat (Healing) -"I'm always been gifted in healing, it makes me happy my abilities makes others happy."

Chat (Dancing) -"Dance is a wonderful form of expression and a thing of beauty. But use correctly, it can be a powerful weapon."

When It Rains: Excitement - *Gasp* It's raining! Perfect time to feel hydro in it's purest form."

After the Rain: Disappointment - "Aw, it stopped already? I didn't get a chance to dance."

After the Rain: Calm - "*Inhale* Mmmm I love the smell of rain, it's so soothing and everything so calm."

When It Snows - "Dancing under frozen rain is always interesting experience though I don't do it too often."

When the Sun Is Out -"Its so hot, let's find a body of water to cool off."

When the Wind Is Blowing: - "This breeze...It reminds me of home. "

Good Morning - "Good morning, did you take your breakfast? Oh your not hungry, well at least take a light snack, its bad for you to go with an empty stomach."

Good Afternoon - "Don't worry about lunch I'll take care it. My cousins always love my cooking, and learning new recipes is fun."

Good Evening - "Dancing under the starry sky is just as amazing as dancing under the rain, cause Celestia is your audience."

Good Night - "Ahh, it's getting late, let's head to bed. Staying up too late will damage your energy levels. Sorry for being fussy, night"

About Calypso: Nymphs - "Back where I live there are nymphs to hold rituals for our local god. They're known for their beauty and act as priestesses, but they are also ruthless, I can't how many times the screams I heard at night who dare to anger them."

About Calypso: Healing - "I studied to be a healer by my uncle, he was also a travelling doctor as well. He's my hero."

About Calypso: Family - "My uncle is a travelling doctor, he's been to many places and experience many things which he teaches to me. I also have two aunts who worked in Fontaine's police force and 12 cousins. Whenever the two oldest ones go out for commissions I look after the rest, which they listen to me more."

About Vision -"Some people often mistake a vision as a tool for more power, while it is true; the purpose of it is to protect the one closes to your heart, and I am thankful to my Archon I am gifted with one."

Something to Share: Windblume -"My uncle told all about the Windblume festival, its a day to improve all relationships people have with one another, not just romantic. Diluc took me to Mondstadt to experience it, he may look grumpy but he's sweet."

Interesting Things -"Recently, I've been experimenting. I came to an understanding that all life contains water, so I practiced my technique with some hilichurls. It took long and I hade some close calls, but I did it, I'm able to control them using blood. Don't make that face I'm only using this for medical purposes and as a last resort, so don't worry"

About Diluc - "Diluc, he's always a hard worker, running Dawn Winery, working in Angel's Share and his other secret job, that gus has no break. But, I admire his diligence and it's honestly it's attractive."

About Hydro Archon: “She’s uhhh.. a bit intense. She’s kinda a reason me and my family moved.”

Calypso's hobbies: Reading -"Reading has always been a favorite past time of mine ever since I could remember. I love to read all kinds of books from fictional to non-fiction. But recently I've been interested in more...Mature literature."

Calypso's troubles: Common sense -" Sometimes I just can't understand people. Like, person has a problem and ask for some advice; one gives good reasoning and backed up with logic while the other is just guessing and gives bad advice. It makes my blood boil to see the person agree with person with bad advice, I mean where is their common sense?"

Favorite food -"Have you tried Fontaine's special mixed berry cake? It's truly magical."

Least Favorite food -"Alcohol and me never mixed well together, and it gives bad memories."

Birthday -"Happy birthday! I made a dance specifically for you, I hope you like it."

Combat Voice lines

Elemental skill

"Like waves of the sea."

"Someone called a doctor?"

"Time for a pick me up."

Elemental Burst

"Drown!"

"Be one with the sea!"

"Let the sirens cast your judgement!"