#they're brother and friends and just More and anything you want to interpret them as

[habken]

as someone who ships bkdk but is also a multishipper i love love love the dynamic of bkdk friendship honestly more than their relationship mostly because my main ship is actually bakuiida because i'm insane, and making them brothers truly adds layers to it

best friend's brother from victorious kinda deal.

^ works with kirideku too

they're like every relationship under the sun to me, they've just got one of those relationships that can be moulded into anything. Whatever the narrative needs lol

[marlshroom]

came to the fucked up realization after finishing gravity falls again last night the parallels of the dream bubble bill made for mabel and the literal state of delusion he keeps himself in.

in the book of bill on the page where bill cipher describes how he figured out a way to manipulate her into giving him the rift, it says:

"Summers ending, my guy. Ending to death, bro. She'd do anything to make it last just a day longer. Probably something RASH and OUT OF CHARACTER, even!"

as we know, mabel cannot handle the fact that she will be growing up. that the relationship with her brother is going to change. she is scared of high school.

bill then says "That was it. She'd never make a deal with me. But she'd make a deal with someone she believed could give her more time. The dream was done. I had her."

bill then creates the dream bubble for mabel, he makes every one of her dreams come true, a place where time is still and she can be a kid forever. a lie so great that she wont have to face the truth.

in journal 3 on one of the pages bill is writing in code, we see this:

[ID: "I ask you, why must[should] time only move forward? Why must cause preceded effect. Who voted on the law of physics."]

my friend helped me break down what bill means by this:

why can we only move forward in the 4th dimension of time. why does something have to make another thing happen, why must cause come before the effect. why cant you move backwards, in the other direction, change the decisions youve made.

how interpret this is bill asking why he is not able to back and stop what he did to his family. he says to ford that he tried and failed to undo the past.** why did him wanting people to acknowledge his advantages instead of suppress him lead to the destruction of his whole dimension?

**(i just want to point out that this is probably the time where bill is the MOST open to anybody, or at least the first. to his henchmaniacs he had been telling them that he liberated his dimension until the oracle discovered the truth. here, to ford, he got so much closer to telling the truth. he SHOWS ford the last atoms of his world. he says that it was destroyed by a monster, not that it was liberated! destroyed)

back to when bill says "I had her" about mabel, he had her cause he knew exactly what needed to happen to trap mabel in a delusion because it is exactly what he is doing to himself. creating a fake narrative of what happened to him, that he was vindicated in killing his whole dimension. only ever doing exactly what he wants because confronting the truth is too scary for him(good fucking lord). the morality page offers good insight into this too.

i am actually just going to quote the whole page and highlight the important part. it speaks for itself really

"THE POINT IS it's[morality] is a very flexible concept! But parents and presidents don't want you to know that, because then you might start asking other questions, like who put them in charge, anyway? So they cram your brain full of guilt and regrets for transgressing the laws that they just made up(the laws that they made to prevent the destruction of their dimension, regardless of if the law + the wrongful medication of a fucking baby triangle did any good to actually prevent it). Wouldn't it be nice if you could put all that baggage down? Quell the shame that follows you everywhere for a lifetime of crimes? MAKE THE SCREAMS FINALLY STOP? The good news is you CAN silence that annoying voice, and here's how!

DENIAL

Works 100% of the time in every situation. What you you mean there are people who disagree? I can confidently say there aren't!

RATIONALIZATION

If you can do it, you can justify it! "Truth" is open-source code and anyone can edit it anytime! Want to be like me? List 3 "evil" things and then 3 "reasons why they're actually good." You'll be rationalizing like Bill in no time!

DETACHMENT

Did you know 100% of your human cells die and are replaced every 7 years? That means that anything you did 7 years ago wasn't even you-it was some dead loser! You can't be held accountable for what a dead person did! What? You think this is just another form of rationalization? I DENY THAT!

THE BILL CIPHER DECISION METHOD!

Working over the eons, the voices in my head teamed up and worked out a foolproof method for making any decision in any situation.

DO WHATEVER I WANT."

ooooooooooooooooooh boy.

he is fully admitting here that he is living in a completely different really in order to justify doing whatever he wants. he gives mabel the tools to deny, to rationalize, to detach herself from the reality of it all. that time has to move forward. and he thinks it will work because it worked on himself.

but it doesn't work on mabel because she understands that she needs other people. shes vunerable, she lets people in, admits when shes wrong. and bill cant do that because it would destroy the fantasy he's created for himself.

[discoursecatharsis]

I've noticed this pattern with antis in fandom where, in their attempt to distance themselves from anything and everything "problematic" in their fandoms, they refuse to acknowledge when they DO enjoy something problematic. Therefore, they don't recognize the problematic elements of the ship, character, media, etc. They'll also heavily downplay or deny any problematic. aspects of their favorite fandom thing.

I just saw an example of this and it is blowing my mind right now and I need to share this with y'all.

It involves the comments on this video.

Some context for Princess and the Frog: the blonde girl is Charlotte, also called Lottie. She's the main character Tiana's best friend. Charlotte's goal was always to marry a prince, and she almost marries (who she believes to be) Prince Naveen, but once she sees that Naveen and Tiana are in love, she tries to help them turn back human so they can be together.

At the end of the movie, Tiana and Naveen get married, and this scene plays after. Charlotte dances with Naveen's kid brother, and says "I've waited this long" in response to him saying that he's 6 and a half years old.

Now Charlotte's line here, if you look at the context clues of her story line, implies that she's saying "I've waited this long for a prince to marry, so I can wait longer for Naveen's younger brother to grow up." It's just a joke. Albeit, a joke that many will find to be very uncomfortable and inappropriate, but a joke nonetheless. I highly doubt Charlotte is actually going to "wait for" this child to grow up to marry him. She's making a joke at her expense, about her desperation of her dream to marry a prince.

BUT FOR SOME REASON.... many of the comments are like "she means that she's been waiting to DANCE with a prince."

I'm completely and utterly serious y'all. Here are some of the comments along those lines, with thousands of thumbs up each.

If you've seen this movie, you'll realize that these comments make absolutely no sense for more than one reason.

1) Charlotte danced with Prince Naveen (or at least with the villain disguised as him) earlier in the movie. She danced with a prince already. Why would that still be her dream if she already accomplished that?

2) Lottie speaks multiple times (during her childhood and in present day as a young adult) about her dream of "marrying a prince." Not dancing with a prince. Not meeting one. No, she wants to MARRY A PRINCE AND BE A PRINCESS.

This video has some clips of her saying this, at the time stamps 0:20, 2:52, 4:08, and 5:21.

Charlotte does give up her dream of marrying Naveen specifically for Tiana, because she see that he makes Tiana happy. But with how she jumps in like a wide receiver to catch the bouquet at Naveen and Tiana's wedding, it's clear she still has her dream of marrying *A* prince, just not Naveen.

But back to the comments on that video.

The comments seem to be downplaying the actual implication of her line. It's almost like they're desperately trying to ignore what she actually meant and make it more wholesome because they don't want to admit that their favorite movie has an uncomfy and inappropriate joke.

It's disturbing that this is yet another example where people in fandom (who are fantis or have been influenced by that fanti mindset) are downplaying a scene (or a ship, trope, etc) that is ACTUALLY problematic because they personally like the movie or the character and they don't want to admit that it has some issues. Instead of just admitting "yeah that scene/line was kinda fucked up and gross," they are jumping through HOOPS to make it seem more innocent than it was. And this is completely blowing my mind and is honestly concerning.

If you want to personally interpret it in a different way, in a way to make it more palatable to you, be my guest. That's what fandom and fanon is all about and I do that a lot too. But to see so many people outright deny the actual implications of this line is... bizarre af. It's one thing to be like "hmm yeah I don't like that, so I'm going to personally interpret this ship/trope/scene differently so it's more comfortable to me." It's another thing entirely to be in complete denial and ignore the actual context of the character and their story.

Also, so many of the other comments on the video aren't even commenting on the actual scene or on what Charlotte said. They're just generic comments on how much they love Charlotte as a character or how they miss this 2D animation. It's like they're trying reallyyyyyy hard to ignore the joke that's being made.

On the grander scheme, this is concerning because these people are refusing to acknowledge something that's inappropriate at best and predatory at worse (an adult "waiting" for a child to grow up) because they don't want to be caught enjoying/supporting something "bad."

All their talk about normalizing and normalization, but they're the ones kinda normalizing bad things by downplaying them or being in denial of it when it's in THEIR favorite media. And that is very concerning and a big issue.

[mochiimadness]

Okay so this MIGHT sound odd but, do you think you can do headcanons for a neurodivergent reader giving the turtles (either Rise or 2012, whichever versions easier to write) gifts as their love language?

And what I mean by that is giving them little things that they think they’ll like, for example giving Donnie an old toaster that stopped working for spare parts, or sharing a cool recipe with Mikey, etc etc? And the turtles would be confused until they learn about it being a love language/neurodivergent thing :)

(And btw, I love reading your headcanons!!!)

2012 Turtles x neurodivergent reader who's love language is gift giving

Writing for the 2012 turtles, they need some love ^^

Ack, I missed the last part and had to go back and almost didn't add the confusion part in r.i.p

Also wasn't sure if you wanted this to be romantic or platonic, so it's left up to interpretation ^^

Fearless Leader

He appreciates your gifts so much

You took saw these little trinkets and thought of him????

He's tearing up

He always thanks you and gives you a hug when you gift him anything

Even if on the off chance he doesn't like it as much,

He'll still put it up on his shelf with the other trinkets.

At first,

He was thankful of course, but why were you giving him all these gifts?????

Didn't want to seem rude by not accepting them,

But the more you kept doing it, the more confused he got

Eventually, he just politely asks why you're doing this.

Was he suppose to be doing something specific in return???

But when you tell him it's just your love language

He kinda has a

"Oh!!!" moment of realization

Absolutely treasures anything relating to tea, meditation, or Space Heroes

Oh??? You saw this brand of tea and thought he might enjoy it???

He is savoring every sip (even if he doesn't like the flavor, he can and will drink it all)

Or you had some left over candles and wanted to give them to him for meditation???

He lights them every time, they're his favorite scents now

All the gifts you give him are well kept!

Especially the Space Heroes comic you had found while thrifting

"Hey Leo, I found this comic on sale and thought you might like it!"

He takes the Space Hero comic from you with such gentleness, you'd think you'd just given him an egg

Even long after he finished the show and moved on,

He still held such a fondness for it

It is always near and dear to his heart

So when you gifted him a comic of his favorite show??

He nearly cried

His eyes shine with unshed tears and he brings you into a firm, but gentle hug

"Thank you so, so much."

Donnie-pedia

Gift giving is also Donnie's love language!

Usually, he's the one making and giving gifts to his friends and family

So when you start giving him gifts that you thought he might like??

He gives you one of the biggest, brightest, gap-toothed smile you've ever seen

"You got this? For me?? Really?!"

He's so excited

Already ranting about how neat the gift you've given him is

It could be a toaster or some spare krang parts you'd found (there's always some to be found in the back alleys and sewers of New York) or even a random book

He always finds a way to use or appreciate them

He's not as confused as his brothers about you giving him gifts,

After all, he does a similar thing!

But he does start overthinking

What if you're expecting a gift in return?????

What if it's an important day???

He starts worrying over this,

Which leads to him busting out his old white board and writing down everything these gifts could possibly mean

You end up explaining that this was just your love language, once you walk in on him connecting red lines on his theory board

(seriously, why would you giving gifts to him have anything to do with foretelling a dimension X invasion?)

Usually, when you give him anything that can be used in his inventions-

He'll set straight to working on it, after giving you a quick squeeze, of course

"Oh this is perfect, I was looking for something to use in this!"

He presents to you his finished machine,

The gift you gave him having been the missing piece he needed

After showing it to you, he gives you a quick hug

"Thank you so much! That gift was just what I needed."

Also makes gifts for you!

For example, if you gave him some colorful bolts you managed to find

He'll turn them into little matching bracelets for the two of you!

Dr. Prankenstein

Mikey gets so excited every time you gift him something

Has and will pick you up and spin you around each and every time you gift him something

He honestly doesn't find it confusing at first!

Genuinely is just happy to receive these gifts

Doesn't really think twice about it-

Until someone points out that you don't exactly go around giving gifts to just anyone

Then he gets curious, and a little confused

He will just ask you about it flat out

Oh??? It's your love language???

Cool!!!

He loves receiving random recipes from you

"Hey Mikey! I found another one I thought you might like."

"Ooo- let me see!!"

Loves to try making those dishes with you

Sometimes they end up with the kitchen covered in accidentally exploded mash potatoes

Sometimes they end up with the most delicious cake you've ever tasted!

Either way, Mikey loves it

He also loves receiving any other gifts from you

It could be a really cool rock you found

or some cute stuffie you found

He loves them all

Has a whole section of his room dedicated to storing and displaying your gifts

He even carries around a rock or two that you gave him

"For good luck, duh!"

Will also go to the surface to try to find you some little gifts in return

Usually he makes you flower crowns and chains!

Sometimes, he gets help from April or Big Sis Karai though

They'll get him some snacks that he knows you like

When you come down to the lair, he'll jump out and surprise you with some snacks and a movie night!

Also has one of the latest dishes he made with the recipes you gave him ^^

Mean Green Fighting Machine

Raph may act tough around his family

But he's an absolute softie

He's choking up whenever you give him these lil' gifts

Tries his best to take care of these gifts

Though, they may get a bit roughed up during a particularly angry episode or fight

When this does happen though, he does his best to fix them up

Hates it when the gifts you have him get broken or lost

So he keeps them in a storage box for safe keeping!

Though at first,

He was a little suspicious and confused when you started giving him gifts

Like, why???

Did you want something from him??

Were you planning something???

What did you want?

"No, seriously, what's with all the gifts? Ya up to somethin'?"

Pls just explain to him that it's your love language before you get interrogated

Once he knows tho??

He's so touched

You got this for him just because you care??

No strings attached?

Congrats, you've got a turtle who can and will beat up anything that brings you harm

It's how he shows he cares ^^

Surprisingly enough,

He loves receiving any artsy things from you

Especially paint or paint brushes

He goes out of his way to make sure those stay safe

He also loves receiving anything artsy!

If you ever make him a drawing or oragami

He's going to cherish it forever

He may even invite you to join him in an art session later-

"Don't ya dare tell anyone though."

Hope you enjoyed!

[theninth09]

ive been looking at liams room for funsies. as one does, right. anyway im gonna talk about what his room looks like in season 4 first. (please excuse the ugly fucking filter i put over the pics, i wanted to be able to actually see things and teen wolfs lighting is.. like that)

i find it interesting that they put a picture of a woman (im assuming its a woman?) with a surfboard and an actual surfboard in his room. does this imply that liam has an interest in surfing? i mean, he does live in california... i dont know where exactly beacon hills is located as it doesnt actually exist and i know nothing about surf culture, in california or otherwise, in general. i dont think this means liam knows how to surf or anything but i thought it was a fun detail. maybe he just likes the aesthetics. i personally often like to connect him to ocean/beach imagery so this makes me very happy.

another detail is that next to the picture of the woman at the beach is a picture of what im assuming is a model in a "sexy" outfit and pose holding a soccer ball. considering he gets together with hayden, who plays soccer, the next season, this was just kinda funny to me. apparently liam likes girls who play sports. also, on the floor behind mason theres a soccer ball as well. feels really random since liam is only really interested in lacrosse, but i guess he likes sports in general?

theres more posters above his bed:

you can see the one saying "blood brothers" better here. its pretty obviously a lacrosse thing, based on the guys in their jerseys and the sticks they're holding but i couldn't figure out what/who exactly it is. perhaps some players that liam likes/looks up to? no idea if they actually exist or if its just a random picture of lacrosse players.

even further up theres another poster of a woman in a bikini/underwear. lovely that they portray liam as this stereotypical teenage boy with half-naked women on his wall. personally i think its really funny. theres a few other posters but its simply too dark for me to be able to tell what they are. i think the one right above the blood brothers one could be lacrosse related as well? not sure.

other than that, theres not that much interesting to see. his closet is a literal cage which?? sure, why not. apparently he likes to wear caps as he has four of them hanging off of it. his closet actually changes in s6 to a regular dresser which you can very briefly see.

this is in no way serious but my friend cody and i came up with a silly little interpretation for this. his closet in s4 is a cage, but its also see-through. hes in the closet (not out about his bisexuality yet) even though its quite obvious (see-through closet.) pre-s4, brett and the lacrosse team put him in a cage at the zoo and hit him with lacrosse balls = he feels like an animal, a monster, he represses who he truly is. his last name is dunbar, like the bars of a cage; hes caged in by his past and his biological father. and in s6 he has a regular dresser: he manages to break free, he grows closer with theo... he comes out of his cage/the closet. again, we're not actually serious about this. this is just for funsies.

moving on. back to his room in s4. heres shots of his desk:

we could already tell that his pc is on the opposite wall of his bed due to his and masons position when playing video games, but theres definitive proof of that. his pc and printer on his desk and what seems to be a tv? to the right over there. theres a few more posters too, one of what seems to be a.. mountain bike? motor bike? something like that (i guess liam really is a fan of anything sport related.) i cant really figure out what the other posters are of, sorry. although theres a few framed pictures and just pictures attached to the wall as well, which i think are supposed to be of him and friends and/or family. the last interesting thing to me here is that theres at least three trophies on his shelves. lacrosse? or did he play soccer before his step-dad introduced him to lacrosse... i guess we'll never know.

thats it for s4, now lets look at the things that change for s6. his bed and the chair next to it are like the only things that stay the same.

first off, all his posters are gone and replaced instead by two framed pictures (which just look like generic decor to me) but theres also small pictures tucked into the window frame/attached to the wall. cant tell what exactly they are, but to me this seems like pics of him and his friends/family again. hes got a few new lamps, the red table that used to be his nightstand is now just a regular table where he puts stuff (it looks like the same table to me at least.) theres a corkboard on his wall, but we didnt get a good shot of that wall in s4 so maybe thats not new.

boring stuff, lets move on to slightly less boring stuff!

the door behind scott is interesting to me. one, this lets us know that liam has a bathroom adjoining his room (since the scene of mason and liam in s4 starts by the camera "entering" liams room through his door on the exact opposite side of his room.) two, the door changed. if you look back at the s4 pics, theres the door as well but it has glass panels instead of being solid wood like in s6. now, im aware this was just whatever department is responsible for making a set like that forgetting/not caring/etc and thats why the door is different. i dont fault them for that, i dont think anyone else has payed this much attention to it like me.

but! this allows me to speculate about canon reasons for that change. and me personally... i think it would make a lot of sense for liams character if he accidentally destroyed the door during an outburst. punching is one of liams common reactions when he starts struggling with his anger: he punches the wall when he's stuck in the well in s4, in s6ep12 he punches the locker until its dented and hanging off of the hinges after brett provokes him on the field, he punches the wall instead of nolan at the zoo. theres more than enough events between s4 and s6b where he could've destroyed his door, but it also just could've been a regular outburst due to his IED. either way, his door got replaced.

i wonder if liam is familiar with the difference between feeling glass splinters and wood splinters being stuck in his skin. i wonder if theres a constant ache in his knuckles. i wonder if when he calmed down and saw the aftermath, he panicked because his parents didnt know about him being a werewolf and how was he supposed to explain a broken door but no injury on his hands to match? i wonder a lot about liam dunbar. anyway.

lets talk about something lighthearted and fun: video games! i ignored the guitar (that you can see leaning against the wall behind scott) until now, because its not an actual guitar. its a guitar hero controller made to look like a black-white fender stratocaster. meaning, liam just likes to play guitar hero, and doesnt actually play the guitar. im still taking this as a win since i personally headcanon that he has a huge interest in music. (also if you're wondering how i knew that its a controller: my captain's friend is in a band and figured it out in like a minute. he says you can tell because of the black pad in the middle. shout out to him.)

heres another shot from s6, which also shows us that his room is a lot more boring now. why did they take his shelves and only give him those four lousy boxes omg... whatever. take a look:

thats mortal kombat. they're playing mortal kombat!!! im pretty sure its mortal kombat ll but gladly correct me if im wrong. i got extremely excited when i recognized it being MK because i made another post about thiam & video games and, unknowing that he canonically likes MK, claimed that its one of liams favorite games. anyway, we know that liam plays cage because the screen says "cage wins" and in the scene mason and liam talk about liam winning. which makes the way they're sitting really funny. it'd make more sense if liam was on the right, yknow, in front of the character hes playing as. ah well, tv logic. fun stuff.

one last detail and then im done yapping. first pic is from s6, the second one is from s4.

these look like xbox controllers to me. i dont have much more to say about that other than pointing it out. liam prefers xbox over playstation, good to know.

[indigo-scarf]

Mike on friendship (with Will) X Mike on (straight) romance

In S1E2, Mike tells Eleven about friendship, implying he wants her to be his/the Party's friend. In this scene, Lucas and Dustin struggle to provide a definition, and then explain friendship based on more superficial and humorous aspects. Mike, on the other hand, easily gives a deeper definition:

Lucas: We just wanted to find our friend. Eleven: "Friend"? Lucas: Yeah, friend? Will? Eleven: What is "friend"? Lucas: Is she serious? Uhh, a friend is — Mike: [eagerly] Is someone that you'd do anything for. Dustin: You lend them your cool stuff, like comic books and trading cards. Mike: And they never break a promise. Lucas: Especially when there's spit.

Note that the "friend" they're referencing is Will, so Mike might be thinking about his relationship to Will.

In S1E8, when he's explaining romance to Eleven, and trying to express that he wants that with her, Mike hesitates a lot, and then gives a definition entirely based on a social event he's never even attended himself — i.e. impersonal and based on societal expectations. His focus is on them fulfilling the role of "couple at the school dance", rather the actual emotional relationship between them:

Eleven: Will you be like my brother? Mike: What? No, no. Eleven: Why "no"? Mike: Because… cause it's different. Eleven: Why? Mike: I mean, I don't know, I guess it's not… it's stupid. Eleven: Mike? Mike: Yeah? Eleven: Friends don't lie. Mike: Well, I was thinking… maybe we could go to the Snowball together. Eleven: Snowball? Mike: Yeah. It's this cheesy school dance where you go to the gym and dance to music and stuff. I've never been but I know you're not supposed to go with your sister. Eleven: No? Mike: I mean, you can but it'd be really weird. You go to school dances with someone that… someone that, you know… someone that you… like. Eleven: A friend? Mike: Not a friend. Uh… someone like a… [kisses her]

So what this contrast shows is that: 1 - it seems much more genuine when Mike asks Eleven to be his friend than when he asks her on a romantic date. And 2 - although it's not suggested in these scenes that Mike has romantic feelings for Will, they do show that his relationship with Will is deeper and more sincere than his relationship with heterosexual romance.

Obviously there are other possible interpretations of this, but this is the one I like :)

[renshengs]

the state of juwon and kwon hyuk's relationship is so fascinating to me. flesh & blood son vs. son-my-father-wishes-he-had. that strange awkward and sometimes sad tension between them. a lot of it is a difference in backgrounds: juwon doesn't fully understand kwon hyuk's attachment to han kihwan nor kwon hyuk's willingness to serve and kiss up to someone like that, while kwon hyuk finds it difficult to fathom juwon's rebellion/resistance toward his father, who is an extremely powerful sponsor to have and represents to kwon hyuk a path to success, a way out of the implied desperation and poverty of his background.

they both like each other more than they realize and more than they'd want to admit. kwon hyuk has known juwon for a decade without Knowing him. they're both occupying several roles in each other's lives at once, all of them intersecting with each other, and the overlaps make it very awkward. kwon hyuk is juwon's brother figure and his former tutor and the middleman between him and his father and the fabled "kid your parents won't stop comparing you to" and also like, his colleague. a family friend. he's the only person juwon hangs out with, and their idea of "hanging out" is mostly just sitting parallel to each other in the private section of some gorgeous uppity seoul bar while kwon hyuk badgers juwon about friends and dating and, you know, pleasing his father.

kwon hyuk's approach to being a good hyung to juwon is also very funny. he's pretty serious about it. there's very obviously a part of him that wants to knock some sense into this elite rich prettyboy's head so that he doesn't get himself stuck in places kwon hyuk can't dig him back out of, but also this is made ineffective by the fact that his methods often rely on (unintentionally) condescending juwon, such as at the beginning of episode 10. which, like, he wasn't even wrong. juwon was absolutely not equipped to be facing lee dongsik.

the problem with his approach is that he's going by the older-sibling-who-is-better-than-you manual, half-chiding and half-lecturing, because he is not just juwon's hyung but also han kihwan's perfect little helper, the son figure he turns to, especially when his actual son disappoints him, which results in kwon hyuk feeling even more threatened by the need to be flawless and Unlike Juwon. due to their awkward inexplicable positions in each other's lives, juwon is wary of him for so long because he interprets the attention kwon hyuk gives him as an extension of kwon hyuk's supposed lifelong gratitude toward han kihwan. he's dissuaded by kwon hyuk's proximity to han kihwan. their relationship is burdened by the presence of juwon's father crowding out the potential space for closeness between them, which is, among other smaller reasons, the main reason why they can't grow any closer to each other. it quite literally takes the whole show and life-altering discoveries for juwon to finally open up enough that he becomes willing to reach out to kwon hyuk, not because he's 100% certain that kwon hyuk even likes him that much but because he's finally accepted the fact that, fine, he does care about this annoying snooty hyung of his, and cares enough that he doesn't want kwon hyuk to be caught in the crossfire.

and kwon hyuk does meet him halfway when he reaches out! juwon is rewarded by the narrative for letting himself be more honest and vulnerable with kwon hyuk than he's ever dared to be, and this time kwon hyuk considers his words and listens to him instead of treating him like a baby who doesn't know anything. it's sooo important to me that they're able to grow closer once han kihwan is out of the picture. it's so so important to me that juwon has people in his life who are not lee dongsik nor the rest of the manyang squad. i think post-canon both of them catch up sometimes when juwon's in seoul and it's—easier. better. feels realer.

[remember-digimon]

Next up is my favorite, Matt!

Wow what a cool guy.

So, Matt is usually described as a loner, Tai's rival, and the Angsty Cool Guy. None of these actually describe who he is, so let's dive into that.

1. Loner. Matt isn't a loner, he's lonely. Big difference. He keeps others at a very long arm's length as a self-preservation mechanism; due to his parents' divorce basically breaking his little heart at a really young age. He learned then that other people could hurt him by leaving, and decided from then on he wouldn't give them the opportunity to hurt him. His loneliness is so deeply rooted that it's interpreted by others as aloofness, while he is only 11 years old. Like damn wtf

2. Tai's rival. Outside of the Cherrymon incident, which was just good ol' manipulation to get the two most powerful Digimon in the group to fight, Matt was really only considered Tai's rival in early promotional stuff that had a little bio for each character. Matt likely gets interpreted as Tai's rival because they fight a lot, but it's not that simple. Matt doesn't want to compete with Tai, he doesn't want to be the leader. He butts heads with Tai because they're basically opposites. Matt is acutely aware of the group's feelings and needs, while Tai remains laser-focused on the goal at hand. This dynamic isn't like Ash vs Gary, where they're actively competing with each other. Matt gets frustrated with Tai very easily, and he feels things so intensely that he can't really help but blow up.

3. Cool Guy. Let's get one thing straight, this kid right here is not cool. This was more of a thing in the dub iirc, but regardless, his attitude is just a cover to keep people from getting too close. Hell, it takes Gabumon a few episodes longer than the other Digimon to really get close to Matt; before that point, Matt certainly isn't a total dick to Gabumon, but he isn't fully trusting yet either.

Matt's relationship with TK is an interesting one. He feels like it's his sole purpose to protect TK, not just from monsters but from anything unpleasant in life. All of the familial love and affection he gets comes from TK so it's understandable why he would feel this way.

One complaint I often hear about Matt is that his breakdown in the Dark Masters arc when TK gets kidnapped by Puppetmon is way overblown, that he wouldn't normally react that way. He left TK at the amusement park during Weregarurumon's Diner, and when he couldn't immediately leave he didn't break down like that.

The difference in these situations is obvious if you pay close attention. First of all, from the time the kids get up on the day Bakemon raid Odaiba to when they're back at the digital world and split up after talking to Homeostasis, is all one day. It feels much longer because of how many episodes that is, but they're all on at least 24 hours without sleep or taking a break. Also, keep in mind that Matt woke up earlier than the others, before sunrise, as his dad got him and Gabumon to the warehouse to keep them from getting abducted by the Bakemon.

Second, in that span of time the kids have all realized what they're up against. They've lost Wizardmon, Chuumon, Piximon, and Whamon in quick succession, the last three to the Dark Masters. Learning that his little brother has now been captured by one of these Dark Masters would lead Matt to fearing the worst.

Then there's the big fight he had with Tai just prior to the breakdown. He accused Tai of being obsessed with fighting and ignoring the others' grief at the loss of their Digimon friends. By the time he and TK are in the tree with their Digimon, he's already showing signs of wanting to break away from the group, saying that they don't need the others.

Matt also feels that his growth is stagnant compared to the others; this is untrue, as Gabumon would not be able to digivolve to higher levels if Matt wasn't growing and changing. But his self-image is so damaged that he always sees the negative aspects of his personality when comparing himself to his peers.

And of course we have to talk about the Dark Cave. Because of how the Digital World operates, Matt's depression materializes and manifests as a cave that he can't escape until he comes to terms with it. Obviously this quick recovery from a depression spiral is not based in reality, but this is an episodic kid's show so I'm surprised we even got this much.

Matt's experience in the cave is one that a lot of people who have dealt with depression and loneliness can relate to. He says he wants to be alone, but Gabumon calls him out on that and makes him realize that isn't what he wants, actually. He wants to be more open with people, he's just under the impression that he's not really important, not wanted, so it's better off to just not even try. His relationship with his mother is highly strained because of the divorce, and because he has an overwhelming sense of loyalty he probably feels he has to be cold to her for his father's sake.

As for his father, Hiroaki is at work more often than not. Every time we see Hiroaki and Matt interact, Hiroaki is either brisk and business-like or even annoyed; when Matt meets up with him at the TV station, Hiroaki is angry that he didn't stay hidden. Obviously this is out of concern for his son, but still. A moment later, when TK shows up, suddenly Hiroaki is much softer in speaking. So I imagine that this dynamic would also have an impact on Matt's mental health; his dad is almost always at work, and when we do see him with his dad, Hiroaki is a bit tough with him.

But it isn't all sad times and angst with Matt. He loves music, later forming a popular band in middle school and high school. Once he realizes that he can open up to people, and they won't intentionally hurt him, he's able to create real, lasting relationships that aren't based on the cold exterior he uses to protect himself. It's clear that he needed to learn to let others in, and once he did learn that, he becomes much happier and more willing to open up and let those walls down. Even if it's just a little bit.

[starseneyes]

Loser Siblings - Morgan + Sasha - Nobody Wants This

First off, I do not condone or support infidelity. I actually have a big problem with it. I've rated films a full star down for infidelity before.

But the dynamic between these two and how it's written and performed is gorgeous. I don't get to watch a lot of television these days (surgeries, and work drama, and life stuff, oh, my!), so this was my introduction to both Timothy Simons and Justine Lupe.

They're both phenomenal actors, and I'm excited to see what they do with their material in S2 (just saw the renewal! Huzzah!!) especially after seeing how deftly and hilariously they handled S1.

Not gonna spoil anything before we get past the "Keep Reading" barrier, but I really wanted to do a breakdown of the Loser Sibling chemistry, the writing, the framing, and the weird little moments of symmetry that may—or may not be—intentional.

SPOILER ALERT: Yes, I am going to talk about the show in its entirety in detail. You are forewarned. Also, no judgement if you want to take a bathroom break first or just save this to your phone to read later. I have a lot to say.

Alright, everybody ready to dive into this tale of toeing the line on infidelity? Yeah, let's dive in.

"Is Esther cheating on me? Whatever, I'll stay with her."

This says so much about his psyche. From moment one, he thinks that he is not worthy of loyalty in a partner.

He would be unsurprised to find out his wife is cheating on him. And he is so resigned to that fact, that he would be willing to stay with her if she did.

Now, we all know that sentiment absolutely does not go both ways (not that it should), but it's a little heartbreaking to get this very early glimpse into how little Sasha values himself.

And, of course, these early scenes are designed to establish the relationships. That's why Morgan had to mention their mother to Joanne while at the ATM, and why Noah has to find some way to show he and Sasha are brothers.

But in these little moments of necessary exposition strung in as dialogue, we get to know our characters.

"You have to stop letting Mom cut your hair." "Is somebody jealous? I just don't look like myself when she doesn't cut it."

Identity is a big thing. How we see ourselves. How we see ourselves compared to others. How we interpret others see us. We've established that Sasha's mother is a big part of his identity.

"Sash, I tried to convince Esther to come over, but, you know, I lost her as soon as I said we were watching the game." "Oh, that makes sense."

We see right here that Sasha is unfazed that Esther doesn't want to join. And, honestly, husbands and wives don't need to be joined at the hip.

My husband loves horror. While I can do a good thriller, I'm not a horror girlie, in general. So, I send him on dates with other friends (male and female) to see horror movies.

We're completely comfortable with this arrangement. So, I'm not going to judge Esther for not wanting to be there to watch a game.

And we set up the dynamic that Sasha is used to doing things without his wife. It's not bad or good, just a part of the story.

"Why do we do this every year?" "Because some divorces are meant to be celebrated." "Like yours!"

And now we know a little bit more about Morgan. Now, we don't know a lot about this marriage, but we do know that her mom was glad when it was over, and Morgan seems miffed by her glee.

"Should we grab your sister? Or does that not matter." "She's right here with me." "Hi. I matter."

Right here. Right from the beginning we see that Joanne is seen as the decision maker, as the person who matters. And there's Morgan who is literally one half of the show having to stick up for herself.

The other thing that really stands out in this scene is that Kristen Bell and Justine Lupe crush it as sisterly chemistry.

It was there in the earlier scenes, but seeing them in the family dynamic, and then on the phone at the end, you really feel like this bond is lived-in and settled. And that is all a testament to the performances of these two phenoms.

"No, I'm coming with you!" "Fine! Just don't tell Esther." "I'm not gonna tell Esther."

This exchange tells us a lot about these two. First off, Sasha just invited himself to be the third wheel on a date. At this point, he knows a cute, tiny, blonde girl showed up and is now outside waiting for his brother.

He has no idea he is going to meet another cute blonde girl when he heads outside. He really invited himself to be the third wheel on a date, and Noah just said, "Fine".

And my heart kinda aches for Sasha because he really just wants to get out of the house and be around people. This is only episode two, but for those of us who've seen the whole series, this guy really doesn't go much of anywhere without his brother.

Like, they have their friends they play basketball with, but other than that, he spends a lot of time alone.

Also, as much as the scene before cements Morgan and Joanne, this one locks in Noah and Sasha. They really feel like siblings who are used to taking care of each other, putting up with each other, and trusting the hell out of each other. Adam Brody and Timothy Simons knock it out of the park.

Holy shit, this show has no weak links.

"What are you doing? What is happening? Why is he getting in the car?"

It's ridiculous, but this is peak romcom, folks. It's a misunderstanding. He didn't notice the meaning behind Morgan's "we" and he's committed to the night.

Some meet cutes are sweet. Some are funny. Some annoy the shit out of both parties. In this case, only one half is annoyed, but it's still pretty damn funny.

"Are these all sweaters?" "Can you please not touch my stuff?" "It's kind of hard not to. There's so much of it... I'll just hold onto these."

Something about this is so... Sasha. Like, he has inserted himself into the night and their lives. But he is also willing to hold onto her sweaters so they don't get smashed.

Like, it's the dichotomy of his awkwardness and social blindness combined with his inborn desire to be helpful.

Also, Sasha and Morgan are passing something back and forth in the car that I can't quite make out. It almost looks like they're passing her phone back and forth, but the dialogue doesn't match. Makes me wonder if the dialogue was ADR'd later to be something different than what it was originally.

Yes, I'm that nerd. But I also spent part of my childhood in booths doing voice over replacement for Anime and then commercials. So, my brain works this way.

"Okay, so we're going?"

And even though she's annoyed by "the brother", and she came with the intent of rescuing her sister, she's willing to go along with the night. Best wingwoman ever.

Sasha has already settled in behind Joanne, but Noah makes him scoot over so he's behind Morgan. And, thus, the romcom double date begins.

Oh, yes, this is absolutely a double date. It doesn't go particularly well for Sasha. But as far as Morgan is concerned, she is playing wingwoman to her sister and the Rabbi while she has to deal with the annoying brother who wants to glom onto her.

To be clear—Morgan honestly believed Sasha wants to get with her. And she is so annoyed by him and his presumptive behavior that she is immediately turned off by him. She isn't open to even considering him because of it.

Now, we—the audience—know that Sasha is married and inserted himself as a third wheel on a date. And, yo, Sasha, not cool. But, at the same time, he simply is enjoying being out with people instead of home in his basement alone.

"The brother is brutal. Ogre emoji. Vomit emoji."

Morgan and Joanne are in panic mode trying to get the phone to stop talking, but Sasha and Noah are pretty chill, honestly. Sasha even mouths, "Is that me?" to which Noah grimaces.

Seconds ago, Sasha was annoying Noah. Now, they're on the same team ready to gang up on the ladies for the mishap.

It's mostly playful and shows their dynamic in full swing. It even takes a second for Joanne to realize the brothers are torturing the sisters for fun and aren't even offended.

At the bar, Sasha hands everyone their drinks, and the four of them are standing in pairs, again. Now, Sasha knows he's the uninvited third wheel, so he is going to let his brother be nearest the girl he's interested in. But Morgan still thinks this guy is hitting on her.

"I've got this. I'm independently wealthy 'cause my family's rich."

Morgan thinks he's trying to impress her, but he really is just mis-speaking, which he is prone to do when he is excited.

It's another place where she is misreading the situation because she's convinced he wants to hit on her and definitely wants to sleep with her.

"What about 'Slutty Shiksas'?" "Ooh, now I'm listening."

It's the first time she looks up at him with a smile. And it's brief, because she and her sister are having a tiff, but that's the first time she looked at him with anything other than disgust or annoyance.

"No, no, no. Don't just leave me stranded with him!" "A lot of tension between you guys." "No, this isn't happening."

He tries to sit down and be conversational with her, but she walks away. Again, it's the misunderstanding. She thinks he's trying to hit on her and he is so not her type.

He just wants to chat. He wants to help. It's part of his DNA.

"Oh, we're going outside? Okay."

He really doesn't understand. Because he would never think of hitting on her, and he thinks his status as "married" is established.

"You a Swiftie?" "No. Just pretending to look at songs so we don't have to talk. I mean, didn't you go to high school? Our friends are hooking up. Be cool." "Listen, I know I have a thing about me that makes people want to elbow me in the jaw." "Yeah."

Up until this moment, she still thinks he is hitting on her. She still thinks she is warding off unwanted advances. But I do think she appreciates that he at least seems a tiny bit self-aware.

"My wife says it's just-" "Wait, I'm sorry. You're married?!" "Yeah." "God, you have, like, no husband energy at all. That's scary." "I'm wearing a wedding ring." "Yeah, well I haven't been looking at you."

Sasha tries not to be offended. Because, honestly, he is tough to offend. But something in him keeps pushing for the tiniest connection as he lists off Taylor Swift albums.

"Is somebody's mom here?"

And, right there, we have the dynamic of Sasha and Esther set up. And as soon as Sasha says it's his wife, notice how Morgan backs away from him.

Now, this could just be a director's choice for the framing so Joanne and Noah can stand between them, but it also feels like Morgan subconsciously does not want to be associated with whatever is going on with Sasha and his wife.

"It's a pleasure."

He says it to Morgan. Not to Joanne. He barely looks at Joanne as he leaves. But he does look to Morgan. She keeps her eyes down, not making eye-contact. But she does watch after he walks away.

"Rebecca knows about her." "What's there to know?" "Oh, just that you brought her to Temple and stood, like, weirdly close to her."

Remember this. Because everyone paying attention to Joanne and Noah noticed they stood close to one another, right? This'll come back in the Season Finale, but not in relation to Noah and Joanne.

No, in that Season Finale our Loser Siblings are way too cozy for "just friends" at his family event. But we'll get to that later.

"And you, Esther, allowing Sasha to out with them last night? She has a sister, you know." "Oh, I saw the sister. Not worried!" "I mean, she was clearly into me, but obviously I would never-"

There is so much going on here. First off, I feel bad for Esther because you can clearly see she's been delegated the role of her husband's keeper. She is trying to live up to Bina's expectation.

Sasha is self-aware enough to know that he was getting under Morgan's skin more than anything at the bar, but maybe not self aware enough to realize he was on a double date.

Also, we see Sasha behind Esther mouthing and waving his hands to let his little brother know he didn't sell him out. This positioning is so representative of their relationship.

"What he is doing here is throwing away a relationship with literally the perfect woman."

Projecting much, Esther? If she's so perfect, you marry her! I think you'd be a happier person.

"Breaking up the family? What the fuck. I'm so sorry, man."

Sasha already warned Noah that he was having to play both sides to try to protect his brother, but also protect himself.

We've seen it in his interactions with both families—Sasha tries to redirect and shield his little brother. He wants to help.

But he also isn't standing up to his wife, here. He's letting her steamroll his brother. And you can tell he doesn't like it, but he doesn't know how to fight it.

"...Joanne's more than fun."

I love this framing. So often in life, people try to define us by one thing. You can only be one thing and that's it. You can be "serious" or "Fun". You can be "Good" or "bad".

But life is made up of grey areas in varying shades that are far more interesting and realistic than those tiny, monolithic boxes in which people want to stuff us.

We can be more than one thing. We are more than one thing. And I think this is one of those things that this show really nails.

"We love fun. But do we end up with fun?" "Yeah, have you met Esther? She's not fun. That's why I married her."

This is telling. Yes, he loves her. He does! He's loyal and dedicated and obedient (for the most part). But he thinks that the way his parents raised him to think is the way it has to be.

That's the whole premise of Noah and Joanne rocking the boat—they're subverting every expectation. Morgan thinks her sister is losing her mind. Sasha thinks his brother is hoping for too much.

They're all baked into the expectations of life that have been foisted upon them.

And, to bring us back to our Loser Siblings, they are not what the other expected, either.

Morgan expects guys who meet her expectations of the world, who meet her "type". Sasha expects to be content in his marriage no matter what, to never be excited about another woman in any way.

And that's honestly why my brain puts Esther and Rebecca together—because Esther would battle against her own self to meet the expectations of those around her because she thinks if she follows that blueprint she will have a good life.

At the end, I'd like to see Esther just as happy as everyone else—no longer trying to fit in a box, but allowing herself to flourish.

I feel like we see the first touches of her rebellion at the Bat Mitzvah when she helps Miriam cut her dress. Esther is on her own path of self-discovery.

But, I'm skipping ahead, again...

"I just thought we missed our regularly scheduled Wednesday sex night-"

Hold the phone. They have a regularly scheduled sex night!? I have three young children with varying social calendars, but we don't have any bloody scheduled sex nights!

I feel like this was Esther's idea, and Sasha went with it... even though that guy would love more than once-a-week conjugal visits in his own home.

We transition from Sasha getting none to Morgan watching her sister getting ready for some.

I love that we go from Morgan on the left side of the bed to Sasha on the left side of the bed. It's giving me real flashbacks to Three to Tango in a sweet way.

If these two ever get together, that'll be something they have to compromise on—who gets the left side.

"You just need help... someone to help... oh no, that someone is me. Are you sure you want that?"

This actually breaks my heart a bit. Because while he shakes off the loser siblings label as inevitable but not unbearable, we get a peek into his psyche, here.

He knows his daughter needs help. He's the only help available. But he still worries he's not good enough.

"Do you wanna hang out here with me? Cuddle up and watch Mission Impossible?"

This takes me back to episode 2 when Noah and Sasha are heading out of the Temple. Sasha invites Noah to come back to his place to hang out, but when he realizes his brother is going out, he begs to tag along.

Throughout the entirety of the season, we get a sense of just how isolated Sasha is. His wife is always off with her best friend. He has the basketball guys, but that's about it, and they don't seem all that close.

And it's tougher on the Morgan side. She hangs out with her sister and shared friends only once at the gym. So, we don't really have a good scope of her social circle beyond her dates.

Hopefully season 2 will give us more to chew on for Morgan's social circle...

"Oh. I have to let you know before anything happens. I think I'm in a relationship with a teenage boy I met on the internet." "Oh, does he know about me?"

And this is why she would never think he would hide anything real from her. Because this is stupid, ridiculous shit and he still told her about it.

But, remember, at this point in the series, he has seen Morgan once on their not-double-date.

"This is just annoying because I can't miss my romantic weekend, but I really can't miss this dinner because clearly Morgan can't do it alone."

And here we have the words that have been beaten into her head over and over. Where Sasha knows that he isn't helpful or wanted (not good enough), Morgan has been told she isn't capable (not good enough).

"We're just in that, like, have to spend every single second together stage." "Yeah, Esther and I are there, too. More of a legal thing, though."

It's so sterile when he talks about Esther. Not in a derogatory way, but truly these are two people who are in a routine that isn't exciting or engaging. And they've both accepted that this is just the way it is.

For some people, a routine like that is comforting. For some, it's suffocating. And I get the impression that Esther is all about organizing and planning while Sasha would like to be a bit more free.

Now, this can work in the real world. But as the only non-ADHD member of my 5 person family, I can tell you it takes a lot of work and communication.

"You're great with powerful guys." "No, he's married." "Fuck!"

And this is where my whole "no married" theory with Morgan comes from. She's a gal who is confident in her sexuality, down for a hookup, but we also know that she was once in a committed, married relationship.

And everything in this show gives me the impression she doesn't fuck with married guys.

"Morgan, you cannot handle the entire podcast decision by-"

And, there it is, again. "You can't".

"Sasha can let her into my place. I'll text him."

So, at this point we know that Sasha and Morgan haven't exchanged numbers. I mean, when would they have done it, right? When he was rushing out to the car so his wife would stop honking and screaming?

But my bet is that this next scene is where they exchange numbers. And from his point of view, it's a completely practical thing—Morgan can't decide if she should take the laptop with her or leave it there (since Joanne will be returning to Noah's and it would be an extra trip to get it back from Morgan), and Sasha offers his number so she can text him if she needs to get back in.

Like, it is totally something I can see him doing. And then he has her text him right then so she's in his phone because he likes to fuck with scammers. I think that would charm her, honestly, and so she gives him her number... for practical purposes, of course.

But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

"Thank you. Thank you. Oh my God."

Morgan is so overwhelmed that she forgets to be snarky with Sasha. He does this little hand flip when he hands her things (check out the drink in the season finale), but it caught my eye immediately here. I just thought it was a fun quirk.

As she steps past him to the couch, his brow furrows as he listens to her.

"You know, I've got a guy who could wipe that in, like, an hour."

Where Sasha is afraid to offer his daughter help, and doesn't even attempt to offer his wife help, he is open with Morgan.

There's a selflessness she brings out in him, even here. He genuinely wants to help, and he doesn't think she'll immediately dismiss him.

"... my sister's ditching our work dinner to have sex with your stupid brother."

There's a beat here where he leans down to get his coffee and then stands back, still giving her space. It reminds me of how he stood to the side of her at the bar that one night. He didn't encroach on her space, didn't hover behind her, but simply wanted to be there in the moment with other people.

It wasn't a sexual or romantic thing, but just a person who wanted to be with other people, but without invading boundaries.

The last time he tried to sit near her, she got up and ran away. So, I get why he is a bit cautious, here, giving her space.

"Now the big boss guy is coming and I'm kinda freaking out because I need to show people I can do this alone."

Something in that breaks down a wall for Sasha. He crosses over and sits down on the couch with her, a full cushion separating them.

"Oh, I get it. You're the loser sibling."

That doesn't sit too well with Morgan. And if he hadn't jumped in so fast to respond, she might have been offended.

"What?" "And no judgment. I'm the loser sibling. I mean, it's hard to compete when your brother's the Jewish Jesus."

And then she gets it. It's not about "awful". It's about having this super, impossibly pedastled sibling to which everything you do is compared.

Morgan coughs out a laugh as she says, "Yeah". She gets it. She understands it. And this is probably the first moment where she understands Sasha.

Let's be real, she was ready to be offended over the "loser sibling" comment. But to see that he sees himself as one and the parameters are basically "compared to Jesus", it becomes super hard to be offended.

"It doesn't make as much sense with you, though."

And her reaction as he actually says things that coming from anyone else would totally be flirting is completely different from their first interaction.

But, also, she is in a really different place, emotionally. At their first meeting, Sasha was the interloper and she was already on-edge with her sister. This time, she is anxious and vulnerable. She needs him, and he helped her without hesitation.

But as he lists off her virtues, she softens. She smiles. She laughs.

And I think part of it is knowing this guy is married, is not remotely trying to hit on her or get anything out of her, and he's actually the one helping her out here.

Morgan saw in their first interaction that Sasha is totally stream-of-consciousness. He says what he's thinking. And, as we'll later see at the first basketball game Joanne attends, he's a little bit of a natural flirt.

Sasha is more of a people-person than he allows himself to remember. He likes talking to people. He likes being with other people. Yes, he can be alone, but he's one of those people who doesn't want to be alone all the time.

He's not looking for anything here with Morgan. Not a romance. Not a friendship. Nothing.

But what he's finding is an unexpected moment of connection. And I don't think how much either of them realizes they lack that in so much of their lives.

"And you're way hotter than your sister. I mean, she's too short." "Finally, somebody gets it, right? So short."

This is what allows her to move on. Shifting the conversation from her to her sister helps her re-focus on what she's supposed to be doing and she looks back to the screen.

It isn't long before Sasha wants to share something else helpful. I mean, the guy likes to help. It's hard-coded into him.

Just look at the apples in the Season Finale. He doesn't mind being the one on his knees in a good suit picking fruit up off the floor so everyone else can have a good time.

And he honestly wants to help Morgan. This isn't romantic. This isn't a seduction technique. This is literally Sasha just being Sasha.

"Everything in life is a hostage situation." "Okay..."

I love this. She is still flabbergasted by him. She still doesn't know what to make of him. But, she isn't outright dismissing him.

I do think a lot of it has to do with her mentality. When she first met Sasha and Noah, she was worried about her sister, in a bad mood, and stressed. Adding in the brothers was adding to her stress.

But in this episode, Sasha and Noah are the ones who are helping her, here. Noah reached out to Sasha, and Sasha is the one who actually get her in.

And while she's not sure where he's going with this, she's willing to hear him out.

"Holy shit, you're so good at that." "Thank you. It was a great tip."

And here we have the second positive memory in about two minutes associated with Sasha. First, he got her the laptop. Now, he's giving her tips to get through this meeting that's been stressing her out.

And having him affirm that she's "good at that" is exactly what she needs in the moment.

There's this episode of Quantum Leap (the original series with Scott Bakula) that comes to mind over and over for me. It's an episode where Sam leaps into a person who is mentally disabled.

And Sam, genius though he is, finds himself making mistake after mistake because everyone treats him like he is a buffoon. They treat him like he can't do anything right. And it says so much about how we see ourselves because of how others see us.

I wrote about a similar moment of realization in an episode of The Librarians where Jake talked about how people expected that he couldn't do things, so he started to believe he couldn't.

Both Morgan and Sasha know what it's like to have everyone expect them to drop the ball, to mess it up, to fall apart. And it sucks, because we learn through the course of the series that they are both very capable human beings who excel in their lines of work.

But the people around them enforce the idea that they aren't good enough. And that shit seeps into your pores and into your soul and it's hard to unstick.

In this moment, Sasha gets to help and Morgan gets to feel capable.

"Thank you for the tip. No, that doesn't work." "No, not as good."

He misspeaks. But this time is so different compared to any other time he misspoke or said something that didn't quite land. She isn't annoyed with him. Instead, she agrees with him that, yeah, that wasn't your best. And they move on.

He's growing on her. Not in a romantic way, but in a friendly way. And, as we'll later learn, that's untested waters for Morgan.

And this scene is less than two minutes long. Now, this isn't unusual in terms of scenes, but it's pretty remarkable that we witnessed the two of them bonding in less than two minutes.

All it took was Morgan being receptive toward Sasha. Not in a romantic way, but as a person.

"You were born in Canada?"

I love how smoothly she does is. She uses the tip from Sasha, and it actually works to help get the meeting started. And thus Sasha is associated with endorphins for Morgan.

Look, I'm not saying that at this second she starts to crave him carnally. All I'm saying is that little things build up over time, and though he is not mentioned in this scene, his influence is here and Morgan is certainly thinking a little about him, maybe wanting to thank him, again, for the tip.

"Hey, Zaddy. What's your job title?" "World's greatest lover." "Oh, I wish."

This whole interaction is so subtle and so heartbreaking for me. Yes, of course, there's her declaration that he isn't the world's greatest lover, but that doesn't bother me as much as the physical bits of his scene.

Look, some couples throw barbs. Sometimes Matt and I do! It's part of our dynamic that folks on the outside might not get. But what aches in this moment is how Sasha plants a kiss on his wife's head and she immediately smooths her hair back.

Sasha is something she needs to smooth away, in that moment. He displaced something in her that she needs to get back into place.

And I think the weight of expectation and perfection is heavy on Esther. I think that, more than anything, is what locks her into her Season 1 base personality.

Everyone starts somewhere and needs room to grow, and not everyone is going to grow at the same rate through the course of a season.

Joanne is our proxy in the world and she has the most growth to do as a person throughout the season. Noah is pretty static through season 1 besides the huge leap in the finale. Sasha and Morgan both have subtle growth. For Esther, I think we've planted the seeds of growth that can be explored more in Season 2.

But we all start somewhere. And Esther obviously still craves the approval of her mother-in-law, wants to have the perfect little life and family, and has that "good life" Noah's dad told him he could have if he married Rebecca.

I feel like Sasha and Esther have been "comfortable", but I really think she'd be happier with Rebecca. Oh, yes, I went there. Headcannon achived!

"Looks like you're on your way to the shvitz." "You know I hate the shvitz."

It's the only time I really see him look angry in this whole show. He is going to do what she says, because he always does what she says, but he doesn't want to.

And, yes, this leads to him getting the promotion. He stood up for himself, and that was good, and that was Esther pushing him.

I don't want it to ever seem like I am hating on Esther. I simply don't think they're a great match and that they want different things. But she does have her moments.

*Dipping in the water*

I just find it interesting that the episode where Sasha has to get into a pool he doesn't want to has Morgan dipping her toes into another.

It may mean absolutely nothing, but it's a television show and I'm going to dissect it all because this is how a gal who works alone from home every day and barely gets to have fun keeps from going mad.

*phone beep*

Joanne stops the recording and runs off to pee as Morgan's phone dings. She picks it up to see a message from Sasha: "Loser sibling alert."

She coughs out a short laugh as she responds, "Once again, I am not the loser sibling."

In seconds, the response comes in, "Me neither, cus I got a fuckin promotion"

A smile flutters across her lips as she rolls her eyes slightly. But then she leans forward, chuckling to herself.

And, oh shit, we are headed into dangerous territory. Remember, Bina had a key to her son's apartment for emergencies only. We can say that Sasha and Morgan exchanged numbers for completely practical, non-romantic reasons.

But this is a life update. This is something exciting for Sasha, and he wants to make sure Morgan knows about it. Morgan.

Obviously, Esther will know, as she's the one who pushed him to ask for more by shoving him toward his father. But Sasha wants Morgan to know about his life.

In the moment, he probably thinks it will encourage her as much as it excites him—that the loser siblings can still do well and accomplish things. But this opens a door that probably should've stayed shut.

We don't know if they've been texting before this. We're not privy to that part of their lives because then the show would be 24 hours long and a long succession of bathroom breaks.

But we know that when he texts her, her fingers hesitate over the screen as she considers how to respond. A dozen expressions flash across her face before she leans forward, leaning into this thing, with a smile.

And, at this point, neither of them are thinking anything romantic. But Morgan is well aware that this is outside her norm, even if it's not outside his. She doesn't usually text with married men.

Hell, since she finds most of her dates on apps, she likely isn't texting with unmarried men, either!

And I find it interesting that we started the episode with Morgan in hookup world and end it with genuine connection.

Look, no judgment, here! But themes like that are rarely accidental. Maybe since her husband she hasn't been looking for something that serious. We don't really know. We still have a lot to learn about Morgan.

But we're learning that she does like connection.

"Did you know that tall people die earlier than everybody else? So, enjoy me while I last."

I want to point this out because on the surface this definitely feels flirty. But, he is saying it to his brother's girlfriend, who he has no intention of ever trying anything with.

Sasha is just a little flirty. He's one of those guys.

And, look, being around theater people my whole life, I know these people! They don't mean anything by it, and Joanne clearly knows that. I think it adds a lens to how we view Morgan and Sasha because if he does come off flirty with her, it's likely unintentional.

"Hey, we're gonna head out for some victory drinks. You wanna go?"

He directs this to Joanne. Again, he is just that flirty, friendly, wants everyone to have a good time guy. He always sees everything as an open invitation to others, so I can see why he tends to read everything as an open invitation to himself.

Now, is that a bit problematic at times? Of course. The basis of his early interactions with Morgan is unease because he invites himself along on a date.

But part of Sasha's makeup is his openness.

"Wait... I have something insane to tell you."

Joanne's called Morgan to talk about the WAGs and her failure to connect, but even in the midst of her sister's spiral, Morgan needs to get something off of her chest.

And she has to tell her sister because she really can't tell anyone else.

"Wait. Wait. Are you ready to hear the insane thing I have to tell you? Okay, so, this is very weird and, um, kind of confusing, but I had a sex dream about the brother."

This is unfathomable. Morgan was so repulsed by him when they first met, and though she's warmed up to him, he is so not her type.

For a gal who is accustomed to more physical-based relationships, it's completely throwing her for a loop that she's having a sex dream about a guy she's never touched, and under normal circumstances wouldn't even consider touching.

She can't even say his name. In episode two when she texted Joanne in the car, she called him "the brother" and we know from the podcast where they nickname Noah "the prophet" that these kind of code names are normal for them.

But Joanne can say it.

"You had a sex dream about Sasha?"

She's incredulous. Now, sex dreams are not always indicative of anything at all. Let's be real. Some sex dreams are just dreams that are completely meaningless.

But this is a television series. Rarely is a sex dream meaningless.

Now, in the moment, Joanne is going to dismiss this and move on. She's more excited about how uncomfortable her sister is and doing that sisterly thing of delighting in Morgan's pain.

But depending on how they take the Loser Siblings dynamic down the line, Joanne is so gonna remember this moment.

"Yes. Yes. It's gross, right?"

She wants so badly for Joanne to tell her that. She wants to know that this is one of those completely meaningless sex dreams that she can just write off and never think about, again. But Joanne is speechless.

"Like, I don't get it. I'm not even attracted to him."

This one makes me chuckle. Because, I'm a demisexual with a hard ace lean. So, feeling sexual attraction for me is just not a real thing. I can feel romantic attraction and understand the appeal of sexual attraction.

But I wonder if Morgan is used to letting her sexual attraction lead her and doesn't realize that she actually has an emotional attraction to this guy.

I mean, just look at the way she was so soft with him in the laptop scene. He complimented her and she absorbed every one. But he also helped her, and offered her even more help, and she let him help her. They bonded.

I wonder if she's ever bonded with a guy emotionally before sleeping with them, before. And, no judgment! But I think that could be part of her block when it comes to understanding why she might be dreaming about "the brother" that way.

When Joanne doesn't say what she needs to hear, "Oh, that's weird. That's gross. So stupid!" she bounces off the call. She doesn't want to hear anything other than that because she can not be into "the brother".

"Oh, hi boys. Nice costumes."

Morgan looks to Sasha as she finishes the line, coughing a laugh. And, let's be honest, his neon yellow is a bit garish, but totally on brand for a character that constantly wears loud clothes to go for that.

Also, it makes sense that Morgan is trying to distance herself from thinking about him sexually by searing the image of him in that outfit in her brain.

And, oh! The. Framing. The framing! When they first cut back to the guys, it's the wide shot of everyone. But after the second half of the above quote, it's centered and focused on Sasha. Sasha is the one the camera focuses on as he looks at her.

Once he passes the ball off, he goes to greet her. Now, he's definitely standing a little too close. But they've connected and he feels less need to keep distance between them. I don't even think he realizes he's doing it.

He truly doesn't see anything but friendship in this relationship, and I'm not even sure he sees that at this point considering their conversation later in the episode. He's just not thinking it.

Morgan, though, fresh off a sex dream about him is very aware of how close he is to her.

It's not that she plans to do anything about that dream. But it's right there and he's right there, and that's a little too much Sasha near Morgan at this particular moment. She needs to purge the dream from her system, and having him so close does not make it easy.

"There he is."

One thing that really stood out to me on rewatch was how all the WAGs greeted their significant others. Drunk Joanne leapt into Noah's arms, of course. But if you look in the background, all the other WAGs embrace their significant others.

All except... Esther.

She doesn't even TOUCH him when she approaches him, and he doesn't seek it. He does seek emotional connection, though.

He asks if she wants to go out with him to eat spicy food (to take advantage of the fact that he is already sweating), but she turns him down to go be with Rebecca.

To note, this is at least the second time he has tried to connect with her (last time for a make-up sex night, this time just to go out together) and she has pushed him aside for Rebecca.

And this pushes him toward Morgan.

Think about it. If he'd left right then with his wife, they wouldn't have even seen Morgan loitering around looking for a ride. In a different type of show, this would've been the last time any of them saw Morgan alive. Yes, I know my mind's a little dark.

Instead, Sasha is shuffling alone when he runs into a super intoxicated Morgan who is still a little jumpy about him being too close to her.

"See. I'm telling you. We're the loser siblings. Think they'd forget about you if you were the winner sibling?" "Just stop with that."

And here he is looking for connection, again. And, at first, Morgan rebuffs him. She's still rejecting the Loser Sibling label, which is, to a degree, rejecting Sasha. It's not vindictive or cruel. She simply isn't looking for connection the way he is.

He longs for connection. She needs it more than she knows. That's why their combination is so damn dangerous.

In her, he finds someone who laughs (sometimes with him, sometimes at him), who lets him help and doesn't make him feel like a loser while he does.

In him, she finds a guy who doesn't expect anything of her. He offers of himself with no expectation of return. In that selflessness, she recognizes a softness in him that brings out a softness in her.

Neither of them is looking for love. Neither of them is looking for an affair. What they are both truly in want of is connection. Yes, they have their siblings, but in each other they find someone who truly gets it.

And I feel like some dialogue got cut here. It reads just fine the way it's edited together, but I'm wondering if the Uber would take a half hour or something. That seems like something Morgan would comment on while looking at her phone.

I just feel like a little something's been cut and I could be way off, but it throws me every time I watch the scene. Like, it actually pulls me out.

But, let's be real, most folks watching this aren't people who grew up on film sets, was an actress, the daughter of a makeup artist, and a film minor in college with two degrees in communications. I have no idea how to watch something normally.

I ruined one of Matt's favorite scenes in Raiders of the Lost Ark the first time we watched it together. I still feel bad about that one.

"Well, I'll give you a ride." "Why?"

And this is another clue that makes me think Morgan has never gone the "Friends to lovers" route with a guy. She absolutely expects him to want something from her. She doesn't expect him to do this because it's a nice thing to do.

I mean, note how she looks to his lips before meeting his eyes. She full on understands a world of sexual favors and unspoken expectations. But Sasha truly has none. He honestly just wants to help.

At every turn, he wants to help her. He helped her with getting into his brother's place to get the laptop. He helped her with the hostage negotiator tip. He's helping her by giving her a ride.

He truly likes to help. He just knows that those closest to him always expect him to be a screw up. With Morgan, he gets to be the hero. And I don't think he even fully realizes it, yet.

She crosses her arms over her chest as she waits for his response—a defensive move. And, honestly, I love every choice Ms. Lupe makes in this whole sequence because we can see Morgan's discomfort and distrust.

She's wrestling with wanting to believe he's being honest and selfless, but she just can't trust it.

"Because it's a nice thing to do and you need one."

That's it. It's as simple as that. It's the nice thing to do. Morgan uncrosses her arms (off camera, but it happens) as she accepts the ride.

"So, just so you know, we're gonna listen to my music, and I've been in a, like, Kris Kross phase."

The only reason I left this in is because once we get to the scene of them pulling up to the house... there is no music. My bet is that once they got into the car they started talking and just never stopped.

Also, once they pull up, he's wearing a hooded sweatshirt over his basketball clothes (yes, I know this is the real world and likely the actor isn't actually wearing all that underneath, but let's just go with the story here, people).

Note the biggest detail—he's no longer sweaty. He invited Esther out for spicy food "because he was already sweating". When he offered to give Morgan the ride, he didn't just take a detour on his plans—he changed them entirely.

Because it was never about the spicy food. It was about that want for connection. Sasha wanted to go out with his wife, but she had other plans.

So, instead of sitting across from Esther at a table eating spicy food and connecting, he's sitting next to Morgan in the car... connecting.

*Morgan laughs* "So dumb." "It's pretty dumb. Thank you, though. Thank you for laughing."

This. Is. Important. Look at how they are just laughing and relaxing together. I know we have no idea what they are talking about, but we don't need to. Those two lines are about the vibes of the Loser Siblings dynamic.

They are relaxed around one another. Where he once really annoyed her, now he makes her laugh. And he gets pleasure out of making her laugh. He laughs with her because it is so nice just to laugh with someone.

And maybe I'm biased, but that is one of my favorite things in a relationship—laughing together. Matthew and I have been through a lot in our 17 years of marriage (oh, gosh, has it been that long!?). But laughter is our biggest point of connection.

That and being positively ridiculous together. What other couple do you know who works the Swedish Chef into their goodnights?

"Haven't you ever had, like, a guy friend give you a ride home?"

And, while Sasha is trying really hard not to see anything weird about his and Morgan's dynamic, he's basically confirming my suspicions. Morgan doesn't do "guy friends". She just doesn't have that mode. And this is all new for her.

"But we're friends."

His reaction to this is so telling. He just realized that the only girl friend he has in his life is the woman he married who ran off all his other women friends.

My mom once dated a guy for three years. They ended amicably and stayed friends. Welp, once he married, his new wife made him mail my mother every photo of them.

Like, she couldn't just toss them, but had to go through the extra knife in the chest of sending them back to the ex, including all the pictures of me and my brother with him. So, I know these types of women.

And Sasha wants to be friends with Morgan (because what else can he be, right?), but he's sort of realizing that in being her friend and putting that label on it, he's risking Esther finding out and shutting it down.

For me, this is when it gets fuzzy for him. Morgan is already sex dreaming about him and giggling to herself about his text messages. Sasha's a little more oblivious in an adorable way.

But watch his face as he's considering a friendship with Morgan. This is when it goes from something that snuck up on him to something that he is going to actively keep from his wife. Because he's enjoying this friendship with Morgan.

To be clear, he has zero thoughts at this point of it going any further. He truly wants to be her friend. But some part of him knows this is forbidden territory, even if he isn't technically cheating.

Morgan, however, is relieved to have the "Friend" label out there. Labels are easy and they help her distance and protect herself. So, calling "the brother" her "friend" helps her distance from her subconscious that wants more.

"Well, thank you friend for the ride home." "You're welcome."

He's still mulling over the meaning of what just happened as she gets out of the car, flashing two birds at him as she goes.

"Two stars. Bye!" "Thank you. That's gonna bring up my star rating to two."

Where he runs from Esther or changes the topic with her, he bites back a little at Morgan, and I love that. He isn't running from her bitchy farewell (which is clearly another layer of protection for herself), but instead snarks back. More and more, he can be himself with her.

And it's all happening so gradually that they don't really see it coming.

He probably goes straight home after this, and later Esther will ask about the spicy food he ate, and that will become either the first skirting the topic (say he changed his mind) or outright lie (it was delicious!).

"Babe, I love you. You're my queen, but I have committed to being super hyped on tonight, so even if it feels like a betrayal, you're on your own."

Why include this? Because, once again, he is uncomfortably honest with Esther. But, also, it is one of the very few times we see him choosing anything over her. Here, he has made a commitment to his brother, and he is going to see it through.

Back in Episode 2 we saw him choose his brother over Esther when he lied about "shutting down" the "shiksa thing". Noah said, "Don't tell Esther" and Sasha responded, "I'm not gonna tell Esther". So, we know that these two have kept things from Esther before.

Siblings can be gray areas on those things. I have siblings with varying degrees of closeness (family is complicated, right!?) but there are some things you just keep between you—like spilling an entire gallon of sweet tea on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night when you shouldn't have been making tea in the first place.

We told Mom years later... when she had mellowed... a lot.

But, back to the honesty bit, this is another reason why I think his friendship with Morgan is such a shock to Esther when she finds out later. Sasha keeping things from her that extend to Noah isn't a shock. They're brothers. Brothers have bonds.

But Sasha is a very open person, on the surface. Yes, in episode three he talked behind Esther's back, "Breaking up the family?! What the fuck!? I'm sorry" to Noah. But, Esther doesn't realize that. He is so open and honest with her about so many things that she doesn't think he would keep a secret like that.

Yes, he went out with Morgan in episode two, but he didn't know it when he lied to Esther in the Temple. He was just going to meet the girl his brother was crushing on, so he thought. So, that is still a brother-protecting-brother thing. This moment? Another brother-protecting-brother thing.

These moments make sense to Esther. Her husband of probably 15 years having a secret woman friend? Yeah, nowhere near her radar.

"You know, I wanted to go elastic, but Esther wouldn't let me." "Honey, your sweats are gross."

This reminds me of the Rebecca and Noah first scene where she wanted plates and he wanted to just eat out of the container. And, of course, life has those little moments of disagreement.

But this is a television show. Almost everything has meaning.

Likely, Sasha is just saying it because he's sweet and wants to show solidarity. But, we also know that he does like to wear his sweats. We see him wearing several different hooded sweat shirts at Noah's. He wears the sweatshirt in the car with Morgan. He wears sweats when he's home alone on the couch. He's comfortable in Sweats.

What Esther is saying here is that Sweats in general are gross. There's no clarification about whether or not they're clean—it's just another thing Sasha likes and feels comfortable in that is a no-go for Esther.

"Hey, what's up?"

Sasha is sneaking into a freakin' bathroom to have a conversation with Morgan. This dude is not stupid.

I've seen some people say, "Oh, yeah, Sasha is totally clueless", and while I think he is to a degree during the season, by this point he knows he is is actively making a choice to hide Morgan from Esther.

So, yeah, I think he is fully aware that lines are getting blurred, here, but since he has zero intention of going physical and doesn't seem to understand an emotional affair anymore than Morgan, he thinks he is in the clear as long as he's not found out.

But what also sticks out is his face. Looking for Esther, he's nervous. But as soon as he sees Morgan's face, his brightens. He has no idea why she's calling, but he's happy to see her.

And can we talk about the fact that this is built into the episode description?! "Morgan asks Sasha for a favor".

There are only two episodes where these two make the description, and both of them are moments that move their relationship forward—in episode 5 when they bond over sibling dynamics, and here, when she calls him for the first time.

"I just haven't told Esther that we're friends, yet."

Because everyone involved knows this is over when you do. Yes, Morgan and Sasha have been living in this little, private bubble where nobody knew about their friendship but them.

Morgan didn't even tell Joanne. Sasha didn't even tell Noah.

Their best friends in the world—who also happen to be their siblings—have no idea that they are texting and chatting and becoming friends.

Morgan told Joanne about the sex dream, sure, but that's because she wanted validation that it was an anomaly and weird. She never said she was also texting with this guy.

I mean, hello, how much more cheating-coded can it be without them laying a finger on one another?!

"If I tell you something I need you to swear on your life you're never going to repeat it to anyone. Okay? Not Noah. Not Esther. Nobody." "100%. I just need to let you know I've never actually successfully kept a secret before. So, keep that in mind before you tell me."

He's protecting her. He's being honest with her. He doesn't want to let her down.

Yes, he annoyed the shit out of her the first time they met. But since then, he has a good track record of being helpful. He helped her with the laptop, with the mirroring, with the ride home.

And we know from the Season Finale that before this phone call he tipped her off to the best tacos in LA. He helped her, again!

But this is something he knows he could fuck up. And he's worried he'll fuck it up. And he wants her to know upfront that he might fuck it up.

But Morgan decides to trust him anyway.

"So, I ran into Rebecca last week." "Oh, okay, that is juicy."

Think about this objectively. Rebecca is his wife's best friend. He knows Rebecca. He knew Rebecca as his brother's girlfriend for three years.

He's probably known Rebecca forever, and yet he's about to take on this task for Morgan to help her.

Again, these two haven't laid a finger on each other, but this is where Sasha knows he's in the grey area (even if he wants to pretend he's not) and is in a position to continually choose Morgan over the other people in his life.

But, we'll get back to that.

"He tells me everything. I'm like his Rabbi."

Listen to that little bit of pride in his voice! But as he's talking to his friend who he has not told his brother about, he waivers on his certainty.

"Although, wait, what if he's hiding that from me?"

Because, my friend, you are certainly hiding something involving a girl from him.

"Yeah, I don't know, but you need to get to the bottom of it, okay? And just let me know what you find out."

There's something so casual about this, but it's another step in their relationship they probably don't realize they're making. Morgan is asking for help.

Think about it. When Sasha let Morgan into Noah's place, that was because Noah texted him asking for help. The mirroring tip was just something Sasha freely gave. Then, Sasha offered her the ride.

I've mentioned a few times that I think Morgan is well-acquainted with transactional relationships. But her relationship with Sasha is different. He doesn't ask for anything in return.

Still, she hasn't asked him for anything—until now. This is the first time she actively asks him for something. And he really doesn't want to fuck it up.

"I'm sorry. Why would I mention your name? "I don't know. It's just, you said it and it felt like I should say it back." "Okay. Bye. Thanks, weirdo."

Again, he misspoke. And she called him out on it. But she isn't upset. She understands this is one of his quirks. But, also, she still isn't calling him by name.

Names are special. I mean, X-Files knew it or they wouldn't have been specific and intentional about when Mulder and Scully called one another by their first names.

And while she also once calls her sister "weirdo" (see next episode) the "weird" label is definitely one she associates with her and Sasha. It is weird. There's no denying it from her point of view! But she doesn't want to stop it. And neither does he.

Again, neither of them see this as an affair. Neither of them see this as cheating. But they both are also aware that this is outside the norm.

But, then, how do you define it? Do they realize they're crossing these lines? It's so hard to say.

One thing's for sure—Sasha is no fool. Not only does he flush the toilet, but he runs the water after. He might be a bit of a buffoon, but he isn't an idiot.

He knows he shouldn't be talking to Morgan like this. He knows Esther would shut it down if she knew. But he isn't in it for sex or romance—he yearns for connection. And he's finding it where he shouldn't.

"I didn't hear it in a real sense of hearing..."

I'm not putting the whole thing, but you know the scene. When he tries to surreptitiously ask Esther about the whole Rebecca thing.

In the moment, it's read as Sasha just being Sasha—a little weird. But later, Esther is going to look back on this interaction and realize he "heard" it from the tall sister.

"Babe, you know what's actually really funny? Okay. Rebecca saw the dumb sister, pretending not to know who she was, then told her just like a bunch of lies about her and Noah just to fuck with her. It's amazing." "My God, women are scary."

So much to break down. First off, Esther calling Morgan, "the dumb sister". That's gotta sting for Sasha because he knows what it's like to be the Loser Sibling and have everyone expect less of you. He and Morgan share that, so there's a ping of sympathy for Morgan.

Then, he sees his wife's absolute glee at this fuckery. Like, I get that you don't like that life didn't go the way you perfectly planned it, but what the fuck, lady!?

"You need to promise me you are not gonna repeat that." "Yeah. No, no, no. Of course not. That's just, like, really juicy information that people would kill for and I'm just not gonna do anything with it or tell anybody."

Watch his face when she leaves. He was asked by Morgan to dig into this. She swore him to secrecy. Now, he has the answer, but his wife has sworn him to secrecy.

And in this moment, he chooses Esther. He does! He makes the choice to say nothing to Morgan because his wife swore him to secrecy.

Note how he doesn't warn her that he can't keep a secret. He just tells her he'll keep it, and then wrestles with it—because now he has failed Morgan.

To keep his wife's secret, he failed to help Morgan. Honestly, either way he chooses, he loses in some way.

"Text your sister. See if she'll come to dinner with us." "No." "Come on. I hate that you're in a fight."

That gets Sasha's attention. He literally backs up to join the conversation and Noah's head swivels up to him like, "What the hell?"

But Sasha being Sasha has its advantages, and this is one of those moments. Neither of them question why he wants to nose into their business. It's just Sasha being Sasha, right?

"What are you guys fighting about?" "Nothing. She's just a lying bitch who's trying to get in between me and my bubbeleh."

That same pained expression that crossed his face when he learned the truth briefly flashes across his features. He didn't know why Morgan was asking him for the information before, but now he knows that Rebecca's lies are actively doing damage.

"How do you know Morgan's lying?"

That's the first time I recall him saying her name.

See, Sasha distances the same way that Morgan does—with nicknames or placeholders. It's one of those places where they're alike and don't even realize it.

Names have intimacy attached to them. And though he doesn't realize it, he's crossed into a form of intimacy with Morgan.

They have their own inside jokes, memories, and now secrets. Those little things are what builds the strands of connection and strengthen them.

"If you knew the situation, you would get it."

And the crazy thing is that he knows more than either Noah or Joanne about it. Hell, he knows more than Morgan at this point.

"Okay. Well, I don't."

Because... what can he say? To any of them? He chose Esther, and that's the end of it.

"What does Morgan think about all this? I mean, is she cool with Joanne tribing up?" "I don't know, man. They're still fighting."

It's been days. At least days. Sasha has been sitting on this information, and now he knows that the sisters are still fighting.

And much as he chose Esther in the moment, that resolve is wearing thin. Because this isn't some little tiff.

He knows that Morgan ran into Rebecca a week before she called him. He knows they were fighting when Joanne came for lunch. They're still fighting.

And much as he wouldn't admit that he cares about Morgan, he does. He cares. Someone he cares about is being hurt—and he can help stop that hurt.

Sasha tries to unload his burdens with his brother, to tell him the truth. But Noah rebuffs the older sibling not even knowing what he's rejecting.

And, look, no judgment on Noah for not engaging in gossip (though he totally did with Joanne's friends about Amanda). Gossip is frickin' dangerous.

But secrets between the brothers are not new. We've seen it time and time, again. These two talk, and it's pretty assured that Esther would forgive Sasha for telling Noah if she ever figured it out because Sasha could redirect her ire to his brother.

Sasha could have told him everything and then let him tell Joanne and let her tell Morgan. That way, he wouldn't be directly betraying his wife. But, it doesn't work out that way.

And, again, Sasha is pushed toward Morgan.

He needs to talk, and there are only a few people in this world he talks to. I mean really talks to. Yes, he plays basketball with "the guys", but when it comes to hanging out, it's really only with his little brother. He talks to his wife, but that's its own thing.

But the only way to get rid of this burden is to tell Morgan. So, he does it. He makes the active choice to call her and break Esther's trust.

"Care to tell me why Sasha's calling you? ... Morgan, what did you do!?"

What does she think her sister did!? Like, last Joanne knew her sister was having sex dreams about her boyfriend's brother, but that was ages back and she has no idea that they are friends.

Like, I've thought it through a lot and I'm not exactly sure what Joanne thinks her sister did, here. And it does play into that "Morgan always fucks it up and I have to fix it" mentality that Joanne has about her sister.

But, do you know what is super fun? Watching Joanne's expressions during the phone call. When Morgan picks up, she's waiting for the shoe to drop—for something to be wrong.

"Hi, Sasha. Why are you calling? We barely know each other."

Babe, who do you think you are fooling with that bullshit? Anyway...

"Okay, look, I have something to tell you-"

Inserting my own break here just for Joanne's face. Look how she pulls her head back. Girlfriend is concerned about what is about to come out of that phone.

"I'm not used to keeping secrets, but I need some sweet release from these chains." "Alright, well, now is not a good time, so-"

Honey, what do you think he was going to say? Because, clearly you were trying to protect him from your sister. Maybe trying to protect yourself, too!

Like, she doesn't know what the secret is. But in that moment, she actually tried to choose Sasha over Joanne. It's a brief thing. It's barely there. But, she was trying to protect Sasha no matter what the secret was.

Those little things keep adding up... keep strengthening their bond.

"Rebecca lied. You were compromised the entire time. She knew who you were and she just wanted to mess with Noah and Joanne. Nothing she said was true."

Morgan's posture completely changes when she knows what the secret is, and Joanne has her light bulb moment as she gets to hear from someone else's mouth that her sister was telling the truth.

And, can we talk for a second here about how it had to be the Loser Siblings rescuing themselves, here? Sasha tried to tell Noah and get him to be the savior. Joanne wouldn't listen to Morgan. But Sasha really saves the day.

"Oh my God, that felt so good."

Alright, there, Sasha. Keep it in your pants.

"Look, I gotta go. Don't tell Esther I told you."

He gets that sweet release he needs, so now there's another endorphin response associated with Morgan subconsciously. And he made the choice of Morgan over Esther.

Yup. In the immortal words of Whoopi Goldberg: "Girl. You in danger."

Also, can we please talk about the timing of all this?! He is at his daughter's Bat Mitzvah! The ceremony probably just wrapped up and they are headed to the reception.

No doubt, Sasha sees his brother despondent because his girlfriend didn't show. He knows that Morgan and Joanne are still fighting. And he's powerless to do anything about his daughter's ridiculous Bat Mitzvah theme that is universally hated.

He doesn't know that making that call will bring Joanne to the party. He doesn't know he is also helping his brother out when he makes that call. But he knows it will help Morgan.

So he steals a moment between the ceremony and the reception to call her.

He rushes through the truth, partially because he wants to get it off his chest, but partially because he is pushing his luck making this phone call at all. He is with his entire family and can't risk anyone catching him.

This is another place where we see his thought process on display—he doesn't video call. It's audio only, and he doesn't use her name. Our boy is not stupid and not clueless.

And then he tells Morgan not to tell Esther he told her.

Now, Morgan and he have another secret from Esther, but this time Joanne bore witness. So, any worries she might've had about Sasha and Morgan having an active affair were put to bed (heh), but she definitely still thinks it's weird the two are talking.

"Why does Sasha have your phone number?" "We can circle back to that."

Because it's complicated. Again, I think the simple answer: "We exchanged phone numbers when you were boinking your boyfriend and blowing off business" is likely the complete factual answer.

But Morgan is still on full-on avoidance when it comes to her feelings for Sasha, whatever they are. And she doesn't want to talk about Sasha because then she has to think about Sasha.

And then she just might have to be honest with herself about Sasha.

Morgan is still going on dates. Sasha is still with his wife. Again, they don't think they've crossed any lines, here. But all it takes is one outsider looking in to burst that bubble.

Where before Morgan wanted Joanne to break a Sasha bubble, now she doesn't want that. Because what she has with Sasha is different than anything she's ever had with anyone else—whatever it is.

"Okay, so the real question is, is this bitch Rebecca really trying to break you guys up?" "Yeah. Everyone is. And they're all together at a Bat Mitzvah." "Then what the fuck are we doing here?"

And this is Morgan at her best. We've seen her at her worst—sniping and battling her sister, getting in her head about Noah. But this? This is Morgan at her best.

When Joanne is drowning with the WAGs, Morgan shows up. When Joanne needed rescues from bad dates, Morgan shows up. When Joanne second guesses staying outside the Temple, Morgan shows up. Even though Morgan was so frustrated with Sasha that first hang, she still plays her part to be her sister's wingwoman.

Morgan talks a lot of shit. Morgan can totally get it wrong. But when it matters—Morgan shows up.

In Episode 1 Joanne told Noah that Morgan was her best friend and worst enemy (to which he responded he had one of those in Sasha). Now, we see it on full display.

"I hate this dress."

Miriam tumbles in the dress she hates so much, and Esther is right there to help. She really is a good mom, trying to help her daughter through an embarrassing moment.

As she whisks her daughter away, who's there to drop to one knee and take care of the apples? It's Sasha. And he waves everyone else off, taking full responsibility for the tumbled fruit—because Sasha likes to help.

Then, his world gets rocked a little.

This whole sequence is about the Loser Siblings. Yes, of course, waves are made when the sisters arrive. It's part of the drama of the show that Bina is mad, Rebecca is shocked, and everyone else knows juicy drama when they see it.

But who do we see first as the music shifts? It's Sasha.

He isn't even at the right angle to see them first. He's around the corner from the door. But when they pieced the sequence together, they wanted us to see Sasha's eyes trailing from apples (which could be seen as "forbidden fruit") to the hot ladies walking in the door.

He straightens as his eyes land on them. And if you're paying attention, you can see where this shot of him might have been intended for later as the actor completes the same head movement at the edge of our view in another shot.

They edited it to be Sasha first on purpose. This is intentional. Someone, somewhere, made a call that this sequence would show that little world shift of Sasha and Morgan.

As they enter, Joanne and Morgan offer bitch face to Bina and Rebecca. And can we talk about Rebecca, the ex being with the family? Yes, she is Esther's best friend, but they are all clearly planting their flags on the "Noah is so getting back with Rebecca" plan.

While Joanne's eyes move into the crowd looking for Noah as they pass Bina and Rebecca, Morgan's find Sasha, still kneeling on the ground. And, oh, he is looking back.

She smiles into a small laugh that's just for him before her resting bitch face takes over. And as Joanne and Morgan split to either side of the camera, we're left with Sasha in focus, center frame, clearly watching after Morgan as she goes.

This is romcom framing, folks. This is clearly a moment of, "Holy shit, she's a smokeshow!"

And it's not that he didn't already know it. But in that moment he totally forgets himself and mentally acknowledges that sexy dress and that special smile meant just for him.

Yeah, these two are screwed.

Again, I am not condoning or encouraging infidelity. These are fictional characters who I hope get their shit together in Season 2 and find a way to be together without a cheating trope.

Only the writers know what's in store for next season. I can only comment on what's on the screen, now. And that sequence was intentional.

"I hope it's chill that I crashed. You know, I just, I love a DJ." "The more the merrier! Absolutely. I'm so happy you two made up."

And they look to one another with a smile. But I also note that they don't tell Noah anything about how it all went down. Now, Morgan escapes before there's really time to ask about that, but, looking back later, this could be seen as a time Joanne chose to shelter Morgan and Sasha.

And we know that Joanne doesn't know the full story, but she also knows they aren't sneaking off into the bathroom for a quickie (you know Morgan once led an episode of their podcast entitled "Public Places & Small Spaces").

Still... looking back.. both Morgan and Joanne kept the truth of their reconciliation from Noah... because they were protecting Sasha and Morgan.

"Hello, Joanne. My heavens, you came. And you brought an uninvited guest."

Morgan, I love you clinking those glasses together. Oh my gosh, girl, never change. But Mama Roklov has been warning since Day One about the "sister". Does she suspect something? I doubt it. But she definitely doesn't want her family having any more connections with Joanne's.

Oh, my sweet summer child, what you don't know!

And the dance sequence made me smile. I know there are a lot of character things going on, here, but it also reminded me so much of my wedding.

Wow, have I gotten this deep in without talking about my heritage!? Oy vey! So, my Dad's mother was raised by Catholic nuns in Barcelona, Spain. My mother's mother converted to Judaism when she married my Ukrainian grandfather, before they had my mom.

I was raised in a very weird mix of cultures and traditions. My mother rejected Judaism, so I had to learn everything from my cousins.

My mother also wasn't that supportive of my Spanish heritage from my father, so my adult life has been spent piecing together the pieces of who I am.

But my wedding was full of joy. 250 people of different cultures and backgrounds all conga-lining, doing the hora, and lifting Matthew and I in the air on their shoulders.

I had a lovely moment of remembrance watching the dance sequence in this episode.

There are so many pockets of life from my Jewish side of my family that are so special and unique, and while no media portrayal of a culture is perfect, I've enjoyed this show immensely.

Anyway... back to the show:

"Why are you here?"

There's a tinge of, "You don't belong here" in that. Bitch, why are you here!?

"Your dumb little lie really fucked up my relationship with my sister." "I don't know what you're talking about."

Flames. Flames coming out the side of my head. Yes, I know you're pissed, Rebecca, but you don't give a shit that your lie is impacting someone who has nothing to do with this!?

Listen, sugar, why don't you and your bestie lock yourselves in a closet and make out for a while since you clearly enjoy each other's company more than any of the men's anyway? It would save everyone a lot of heartache and I think make all y'all happier.

"Okay, don't bullshit me. Alright? Sasha told me everything."

No, Morgan, what are you doing!? Okay, technically telling Rebecca is not the same thing as telling Esther, but practically? Girl, the game is up!

No more coasting along for Sasha and Morgan. With Bina and Esther and Rebecca all united, seas are gonna be stormy in Season 2.

"Did you tell Sasha that I lied to the tall sister?"

Rebecca, you just got a small point for being nicer in your chosen descriptor than Esther. "Tall" is a lot less bitchy than "Dumb".

"What did the idiot do?" "He told her!"

Welp, she calls Morgan "Dumb" and Sasha an "Idiot", so maybe she'll come to see them as the perfect match. But, seriously, it was a bitchy thing to do.

Yes, Sasha is still in the wrong by Esther for breaking her confidence. Not glazing over that at all.

Narratively was it the right call? Yes, we needed Morgan and Joanne reconciled in case there wasn't a second season. But as far as his marriage goes, Sasha has definitely stepped outside the lines.

"No. Not possible. He doesn't even know her." "Pretty sure he knows her."

Now, in cannon Esther knows about that first night out where they literally got 20 minutes tops at the bar before she broke it up, and then she saw him greet Morgan at the basketball game. As far as Esther knows, that's it.

She knows nothing else about their dynamic, and now she's going fishing.

"I love Bat Mitzvahs. There's so much free shit! You know?" "Yeah."

Sasha was already facing the bar when she came up, so he's basically gone back to first position on this one. He's facing away from her. But she wants to talk to him.

And it strikes me that if we went a little wider in the shot, Sasha and Morgan are reversed in their positioning from the bar.

He's facing the bar instead of her facing a jukebox, but it's that same positioning. Only this time, she is open to him and waiting for him to open up to her.

"Hey, um, thank you, you know, for finally telling me the truth. My sister was never going to speak to me again."

She touches his arm as she speaks. Now, this isn't a big deal for Morgan. She touches people. She touched Rebecca while they were talking. She touches her sister. She's a tactile person.

But, I noticed it because Esther doesn't touch Sasha a whole lot. He is very used to a relationship without gentle affection. And I wonder what was going through his mind when Morgan touched him.

"That's alright. Happy to help."

Look. At. His. Face. It's blink and you'll miss it, but I can't recall ever seeing Sasha this... soft.

Like, Mr. Simons, I did not know your game!

He smiles a half smile that dimples his cheek. And on the reverse shot, you can tell that Morgan feels that softness because her smile fades as she looks from his eyes to his lips.

She doesn't realize that his wife made him promise not to tell anyone and that he broke that promise. But she knows that something is shifting between them. Even if she can't name it, now that Joanne is aware of their "friendship", she has to really think about it.

Why does he have your number, Morgan? Why is he so comfortable texting you? Why are you still texting him? Why are you calling each other? You know he has to hide in the bathroom, that he is literally hiding you from his wife the way your sister's ex who she was obsessed with and talked about in episode one hid her.

Are you really the one who is only interested in men who are emotionally unavailable?

And she's not quite ready to think about that. But she does have to acknowledge somehow that these blurred lines aren't going unnoticed.

"You know, she thought it was weird that we talk to each other."

And there it is. Morgan wanted Joanne to tell her that the sex dream was gross, and she didn't. But, clearly Joanne did express that it was weird that they talk. And now that it's out there, Morgan can't keep it in any more than Sasha can keep in a secret.

This is when Sasha opens up to face her. They are having a personal conversation, now, about them. Whatever they are... this is their first real discussion about it since they band-aided it with the "friend" label.

"I'm telling you, it's not weird-"

Because he still wants to hold onto the idea that he's on the right side of the line. He still wants to believe that they are in the clear.

Because he would never cross a physical line. It just wouldn't happen. It's not in his makeup. He's loyal and dedicated and willing to stay by Esther's side even if she cheated on him.

But Morgan is self-aware enough now that she's had to think about it to realize that they are toeing some pretty big lines, here. Maybe not in terms of physical affection, but in terms of connection.

"Okay, stop saying that it's not weird when we both know that it kind of is." "Alright, fine."

The bravado instantly fades. He's honest with her. He's open with her.

"It might be a little weird, but I enjoy talking to you. Is that so bad?"

And there he's redrawn the lines. Yes, it's "weird", but we're just talking, right? Talking isn't bad, right? We can talk, right?

A month or so earlier they sat in a car where she waited for him to affirm her label. "Friend". And he did. This time, he's waiting for her to tell him if this is bad or not.

It's not bad, right? Talking?

Except "talking" is the exact verb Morgan used when asking Sasha about Rebecca and Noah. She asked if they were "talking" again before sharing that Rebecca said they were getting back together.

But neither one of them is thinking about that right now. Honestly, they're enjoying the time together more than either would admit, and they lean into it.

"No. No. I'm fun to talk to."

She takes it back to their banter, and he is thoroughly charmed. Look at that smile!

"There we go. A little Stuart level confidence there."

He's smiling so broadly, so sweetly as he lifts his drink to his lips. She fixates on it, asking for a drink, then practically demanding it. He relinquishes it with a smile.

And as he's still smiling at her, she holds eye contact while drinking from his glass.

Freeze frame that shit and this is full romcom. Like, she is looking up at him drinking from his drink while he smiles, nearly in a daze.

And her holding his gaze is intentional. There's a sultry edge to it as they toe this line a little too closely between friendly and flirtatious.

The surprise on Morgan's taste buds shatters the moment.

"Wait, there's no alcohol in that." "Yeah, I told you a hundred times, I'm California sober."

A hundred times. A hundred times?! Just how many text conversations have you two been having!?

The barkeep apparently read her mind (or maybe knew her order from earlier) and passes over something with actual alcohol. Yes, it's television magic, but we're gonna roll with it, okay?!

"Are you high?" "Mmm-hmm" "Can I have some?" "Yes. 100%."

Seriously, if these two do have a future, "100%" is going to be one of those things that comes back as theirs. There are those little phrases or words that seep into the collective comprehension of a couple, and this one would be in the running for them.

But, also, he finally has someone who wants to share in these things with him. Morgan is actively asking to share in this with him. Where before she wanted to kick him out of her car and run across the bar to get away, now she seeks him out.

This scene of them drinking together is such a far cry from their first drink together, at a bar only a few months earlier.

There, she made a face at Sasha sticking a finger in his brother's drink, contaminating it. Here, she actively drinks from his glass.

There, she didn't want to look at him or talk to him. Here, she's the one seeking him out, and they are growing closer by the minute.

This guy she thought she was tolerating for a few minutes at a bar for her sister's sake is now someone she wants in her life, even if she isn't fully sure of the capacity. Like, what are they?

Dipping toes into an emotional affair, absolutely. But where does it go from here? Would they cross those physical lines?

Personally, I see more kiss and retreat than full-blown affair from these two, but I'm not writing the show. I'm just writing this ridiculously long Meta because these actors played these scenes so bloody well and I can't get them outta my head.

As Morgan and Sasha share in a moment, toasting to their future shared high, Esther and Bina look on in dismay. Esther scrolls through the text messages, and I'm going to write them out below (the ones I can read).

Sasha: Ughhh now I want tacos. Sasha: are you gonna go? send pics Morgan: [photo of three tacos] Sasha: Best tacos in LA, right?!?! Morgan: They're amazing! You're right. Sasha: Win for the loser siblings!!! Morgan: lol fine! Win for the loser siblings. Sasha: Have you seen Dune? Morgan: no?? should I Sasha: Are you going to see the sequel? Morgan: I wasn't planning on it. Sasha: Well, if you're gonna watch the sequel you should def see the first one. Morgan: hey, can I call you? Sasha: Yeah, give me two Morgan: Thank you for telling me the truth [heart emoji]

These aren't love notes. But they also aren't the sort of texts you expect a married man to send a single woman.

We see here that he helped her find some great tacos, that she finally embraced their shared "Loser Siblings" label after denying it for so long, that they were talking movies.

And those last few lines are where it escalates. They've been talking... and she sent him a heart emoji.

Emojis have meaning, right? Especially for Morgan. When she sent Joanne her first blush impression of Sasha, she included several unflattering emojis. This time, she sent him a heart.

And that's the last we see of Sasha and Morgan because this isn't their bloody show. And, to be clear, I adore Noah and Joanne. I'm just personally more drawn to what is going on over here.

I don't know if I'm a loser sibling, myself. But I know what it's like to feel like you can do nothing right, that you have to accept the path someone else chose for you, that you have to marry the "right kind of person" (tell you that story of the boyfriend before my husband another time).

Lupe and Simons are knocking it out of the park with their chemistry, comedic timing, and those micro-expressions that make metas like this so much fun.

Again, I'm not a fan of cheating story lines. It's just not my thing. But, I can see several paths forward that don't involve cheating.

Ultimately, I'm just a viewer, like you! I have no control over this wild ride. But, oh, it's a fun one!

Thanks for reading, loves. Can't wait to see what they have in store for Season 2!

[aipilosse]

Now I am really really curious and want to know more about your theory of C&C and M&M not being close anymore in Beleriand and why you don't buy their super duper close relationship. I noticed that as well as the fact that C&C are the feanorians often linked not just to Aredhel but to the three Arafinweans, especially Orodreth and Angrod who in the many versions are actually close to C&C which honestly is pretty interesting and such cool thing.

oooh yeah sure, I'll talk about this! This is more contrarian headcanon-not-contradicted-by-canon than anything I came to organically, but it's now become my preferred way of thinking about them.

Anyway, first, I will clarify that my theory is not Celegorm & Curufin and Maedhros & Maglor not being close in Beleriand; it is that they were NEVER close, even in Aman. We know from the story that Fëanor's sons were fiercely devoted to him, but it's never said that they were especially close with each other. And with a father who was likely demanding, played clear favorites, and had piles of charisma, I could easily see the brothers' relationships being marked by jealousy and simmering resentment, but not in an 'every brother for himself' way. It seems M&M have a strong relationship and C&C do too. Caranthir is the odd one out where it seems like none of his brothers are too attached, and honestly there's so little about Amras & Amrod but from what's there they form another obvious pair. But yeah, C&C definitely have a lot connections to the rest of the family! And it seems like those friendships were created before the Darkening and the Flight, and then renewed after Maedhros' rescue.

After Fëanor's death, Maedhros leads his brothers, but here I don't think that's because of any especial familial love or 'big brother Maedhros protective power uwu', and more because as Princes of the Noldor descended from Fëanor they are a *political* unit.

Sidebar: I think the 'family' part of the family politics of the House of Finwë is super overemphasized and the 'politics' part languishes. Like, Maedhros' brothers owe some sort of political allegiance to him (I'd say fealty... but I feel like someone with more historical knowledge will jump out of the woodwork and 'well ackshually' me) -- they are not a normal modern family!!

Now, I think the common fandom interpretation of suffocatingly close and devoted sons of Fëanor is a reasonable conclusion to reach from reading 'Of the Return of the Noldor' and I don't think my 'brothers at odds' theory is more canon; it's more that I don't think close and devoted take is the only reasonable conclusion. I have in fact seen people discard an obvious interpretation of events off hand because of the fact that all of the sons of Fëanor were soooo obviously devoted to each other, any time they didn't seek each other out there must be *something* preventing them from joining their brothers.

I really must disagree -- while C&C seem very close as do M&M, I think it's just as likely that when they're all together they're an acrimonious bitter mess, and that Maedhros staked out lands for them out east not just to keep the peace with Fingolfin & Finrod, but also to reduce fighting between his brothers. Also, them being an acrimonious bitter mess together does not mean they aren't charming, fun even, apart. Finrod is friends with all three pairs (sorry Caranthir); there's the other aforementioned C&C Arafinwean friendships and Aredhel friendship; Maedhros is friends with Fingolfin and Fingon. They even form alliances with non-elves apart, with Curufin befriending some dwarvish groups independently, and different brothers forming different mannish alliances. And I haven't even mentioned Amrod & Amras and the green elves. This all points to the brothers being reasonable, personable people when separated, capable of forming friendships and political alliances both, and perhaps to some degree hating each other's guts when together.

Food for thought! I welcome any and all enjoyers of my 'the sons of Fëanor would rather not be in a room together ever again' theory.

[eluxcastar]

As I opened my tumblr, just to check if there is new Arlecchino stuff to swallow... lo and behold, I saw your post with the Arlecchino simp tags. Shot me the moment I stepped into the door right there, hahaha! May I request an Arlecchino x reader, headcanon or anything you're comfortable coming up with. The reader is thousands of years old, who got disowned by the Tsaritsa because they declined their performance in greatness for someone else's benefit and saw no worth in her/them. Could be a sibling or a friend, the betrayal stung like a bee since she/they saw Tsaritsa as a mother figure or could literally be the mother (Got kunikuzushi'd in a way, minus the puppet part). So, here's the main part - How Arlecchino would handle that person, when they meet in hostile terms. An accidental encounter, had banters and fights and eventually found strange subtle solace from each other. Could be romantic, or just obsession on Arlecchino's part because we love deranged women pls step on me with your sharp heels - anyway, since Arlecchino is interpreted as someone who won't hesitant to betray the Fatui. On her own benefit, works with the reader to mess and interrupt Fatui operations. I won't include more or else you'd be dealing a whole thesis of it. Hahahah! Good day to you~!

One of Repetition

── ୨୧：arlecchino x reader

୨୧﹑synopsis :: in a strange decision nobody quite understood but could not contest, you were dismissed from your position by the tsaritsa herself but allowed to live. you wander for some time, lost and confused, and most notably unable to escape the fatui even when you are no longer associated with them, which means an unwanted letter and an even more unwanted visit from the knave.

୨୧﹑genre :: kinda angsty

୨୧﹑content :: fem reader, reader has a pyro vision, arlecchino has a cryo delusion, reader uses a bow, capitano is not human this time, he's just a plot device too, their previous relationship is implied but ambiguous, implied age difference, reader is most often called by the title brighella, writing this spiralled me into insanity, possibly bad writing, not proofread 

୨୧﹑words :: 13.6k

hehe, I know that Arlecchino simps flock to me once they learn my requests are open. I have no idea why. maybe they're just especially desperate for food, but they linger, and I have a little collection of anons.

don't worry about how much it'll take me, I honestly enjoy writing longer works. anyway, I received a request similar to this some time ago (was it you? I have encountered that before) but haven't gotten around to completing it, so I'll be partly combining the two

here's the other request:

it's gonna provide some stuff for me to follow, and I remember exactly when I got it, so I wanted to include it for the dear anon who sent it

why brighella you may ask well that's because brighella has been described before as essentially Arlecchino's smarter and more vindictive brother and they compliment each other well. I think Arlecchino may also work for Brighella in some versions?? either way it felt right even though they're not really based off of the character brighella, they do share a few traits with him but not fully it's just a fun little parallel

I really did not expect this to be so long that it literally lagged the writing program I was using to save it and I have been staring at this for so long I literally have no gauge on the quality anymore just that it's variable because it took me so long someone send help

Her words left you exasperated, literally at a loss for words, and you struggled to comprehend the reason for it. There was nothing you could think of, no instance that struck you as prominent. Yet, somehow as one of the Tsaritsa's children, you had become what any parent might refer to simply as a disappointment, their failure—the problem child who never quite ironed out their issues. You had always been faithful to her, hopelessly devoted to the archon and her will. News such as this came out of nowhere and struck you like a hammer to the chest.

Two of her most mighty children were near and dear to her, and now the other had turned against you as he remains loyal to her. The Jester, who you once held in high regard, has turned against you. It is a bitter pill to swallow, for you must now sever ties with the one man you believed was truly deserving of serving the Tsaritsa. Your mother— your world— turns against you with him, before him, leading the way for him. 

In vain, you draw your bow to strike an arrow between his eyes, prove your strength and power as above your position, above him, but it means nothing. Your strike is blocked, and the Tsarita's Damselette Columbina moves to detain you. You believe she would not be strong enough, but you don't itch to fight ten other Harbingers. You understand that even you have a limit, and fighting what are supposed to be the strongest people in the country is not a part of that. Your honour is on the line, an honour which would tarnish not only Brighella's name but also have a ripple effect on your soldiers, men and women who fought for you and did not deserve a punishment that would result from their actions.

"Think carefully, Brighella." Columbina's warning is not lost on you, "You could remain as a hero or fight, and I will lure the creature you brought from the abyss and gut him before your eyes."

You do not want that. That creature is not yet loyal to the Tsaritsa but to you, and she will convince him he can save you. He will fall into her trap and die.

You bite your lip, trying to think of a way to escape and capture him so that you can run off somewhere. He does not deserve to die, but you can't think of anything. Not when you know how thorough these people are. There is not a will, really. There is only a has. He has fallen into her trap and is at the mercy of the Damselette. "What if I am to obey?" You finally ask the question you did not want to, surrendering in a way, though the bite has not left your words.

"I'll leave him be." Her answer is swift. She expected that you would eventually give in and only needed to wait for it to happen.

You shake your head, dissatisfied with only that as your compensation. "Not enough."

The smile on her face does not waver, thin and deceitful as ever, eyes hidden and closed, unseen behind the band of lace. "Mm. I can't bargain anything else." 

"Have him take my place." You lay your condition out firmly. There is only one to meet, and not a hard one at that. It would be easy to sway him into it, using whatever they plan to do to you as motivation. His loyalty and affection for you would make him accept it.

She ponders the situation and proposal momentarily, powerless to make the executive decision but undoubtedly keen on the thought of it all. "He believes that you are about to fall in battle to a foe and that he is going to save you."

You grit your teeth, knowing that this is her trap. Lure him to a place. It was not what you had expected, but it is no less the Damselette's style of acting. There is always a damsel, but perhaps she recognised that she would not suffice this time. She needed a better damsel for him to save; for that to work, it needed to be you. 

She needs your name, reputation, your relationship with your subordinate, melding together with her lies to make for a tale of tragedy with him as the hero.

The thought of him rushing to his death under the guise of saving you spikes your blood cold, chilling you. You're aware of her cruelty and always have been, but to experience it is different than hearing about it from her perspective. You are experiencing it from the perspective of the victim. 

His death was another factor to hold over your head, your penance, the anchor to force your compliance. Your blood boils with anger, but you cannot fight. Despite your feelings of anger and frustration, you know that lashing out will only cause further harm and pain.

There is only one thing you can do. You know you must. It's simply that you don't want to. 

But...you must. 

You must for him, that poor creature you tried to give a home to and who would never be in such a position if not for you and your ambition. 

"Then I will fall, and you will use the honour I built into him to persuade him." 

It was an honour meant to humanise him in a way, a being only able to imitate humanity. He had a mentor and something to fight for. Now you're imploring that it be used against him to burden him, but he will do well in your position.

Columbina smiles, that thin mocking smile like she knows the secrets of this world and more. "Would he really believe that?"

The helmet. You should use the helmet to your advantage. Your subordinate's first exposure to humanity, being you, a woman in a metal helmet, seemed to last. He used to think that was what humans looked like, and he admitted as much to you as he had asked you to remove it. Your impression left an indelible mark on him that he treasures to this day. Even if he was to see you in the aftermath, he would not uncover the lie.

"He has never seen my face. He would not recognise me."

Columbina accepts that readily, and her eyes open, pools of black and white visible through the cracks in the lace over her eyes. You've seen them before, inky black sclera and inhuman patterns decorating the borders of her irises, but you can't help the unsettled feeling that makes a home for itself in the pit of your stomach. 

-

By the evening, you are stripped of your honours, titles and coat and dumped to the curb like a bag of rubbish somebody left out. There is no more fight, no more bargaining, no more arguing. Everyone has the things they want, for the most part, so you are all satisfied enough to remain amicable with each other. Without a fight, you allow the Jester to remove the fur-lined overcoat despite the cold that rushes over you once it is gone and discarded in a heap of fur and fabric on the floor with none of its previous value. 

After that comes the slow, deliberate removal of every trinket that denoted you as you. From your delusion, several gifts to your very insignia, the only thing left of you is a lone pyro vision and the clothes on your back. You've never been more thankful to not wear a standard-issue uniform lest you be made to undress and hand that over too.

That was it. Your everything.

With each piece of regalia taken, a part of yourself disappeared until you were left an empty husk of a person, your entire reason for being for hundreds of years snatched out from under you and spat on.

The Harbingers were supposed to be the children of the Tsaritsa, and this was your grand disowning. A show of power and influence over her closest children and, by extension, the ability to bring pain to her less--��to her followers. It was foolish of you to ever think you were special in her eyes for having been by her side since before the Archon War. What did it matter when she left you amongst the rest of them? The years you spent since you had hobbled into her life so tiny and cute were now reduced to a few personal belongings and a set of words that shattered your world to sharp and dangerous pieces that would only hurt you in your haste to reassemble them and string your life back together.

When you were young, your cuteness may have been your best asset: a small body with endearing quirks, the inability to walk long distances without tumbling. In this state, you required her for everything because you would only find danger in the harsh Snezhnayan winters. To even acquire your own food was unthinkable, so you were sheltered and provided with ample treats that you could nibble from the palm of her hand if that were what you wished. Anything to keep you happy and content.

Like a little trinket, she cradled you for as many years as it took you to grow, and once you were at an age you no longer needed to be cradled, she made you her loyal companion, or so you had believed. You thought her affection for you was unwavering. She was the only mother you had ever known; she is the only mother you will remember for all of eternity.

Although it may have been an exaggeration, watching the sun's gradual descent below the horizon, you could almost believe eternity would quickly prove to be a very real concept. You watch the sky darken in silence for a time. You roam aimlessly around the city, your presence still striking unease in the people from the threatening demeanour you learned to conduct yourself with as a Harbinger, even without your official attire. The only remnant of your former self is a helmet you consistently wore during every public appearance. 

You can't help your wandering mind. Did your imitation of the Tsaritsa's actions make you weak? Attempting to nurture someone in the same manner she nurtured you? You are not a god, only the former child of one. Maybe you cannot care for him and maintain your objectivity. It's possible that he has become your Achilles' heel, as you were forewarned when the Tsaritsa less than subtly suggested you eliminate him.

You cannot live like this.

No matter how many suns you watched set, you would never come to terms with it living like this. The world you once knew, which revolved around a singular governing entity and individual, has disappeared without a trace. Without a central axis to anchor it in place, your world spirals chaotically out of control, with each passing second feeling more frenzied than the last. Your head is too muddled, your brain too overwhelmed by your emotions to think objectively of the faults in your time as a Harbinger, years of your life spent that way, burying your thoughts beneath a heavy weight of despair.

You almost want to call them wasted, but that would be wrong. Without the Tsaritsa, you might've— no, would've died during the Archon War. Perhaps another god would take you in, but it is unlikely that they would have exhibited the same level of compassion and generosity as the Tsaritsa. They would not have coddled you into comfort the way she did. Then again, what if that had been your downfall? Did she ever genuinely want you to stay? Based on this...perhaps you took her kindness for granted and overstayed your welcome.

You had no right to make demands of her in your final moments as her child, acting like a spoiled brat throwing a temper tantrum. But can you be justified? Can the threat to your subordinate's life negate that? Surely a bit, but not entirely, not if her actions were in response to yours. 

Oh, even if you begged on your knees, she would not take you back now.

Why had you not done that before?

She must be disappointed that your attitude was born from her compassion, the epitome of her failures. You do not deserve to call her your mother. You took her generosity as a guarantee, thought yourself above her other children solely because you were her first, and believed you were her favourite for no reason besides your own arrogance.

You have failed the only being in Teyvat willing to show pity toward you.

-

The deepest heart of Snezhnayan forest welcomes you readily with open arms and the gnashing jaws of monsters starving for food. The forest seems to come alive with a vicious hunger for flesh. You have nothing but your vision and bow left to aid your defence. Your delusion is gone, and your subordinates are nowhere to be found to assist you. Despite this, marking your way with a trail of bodies is easy. It is just an inconvenience to have to always be on guard, but you are strangely used to it. 

The cold is numbing as the air hits your face, your fingers almost wholly without a sensation of touch and even a tingle in your toes.

You spent many missions that way, tensed and expecting violence at any moment, hardly allowing yourself to sleep, let alone relax. It feels like nothing has changed in that respect, but you know everything has. You cannot hear the large crackling bonfire or the pattering of footsteps in the snow as your subordinates come to join you, their laughter and chatter and their whispers to each other.

There is a stark silence that is deafening to your ears.

-

On the seventh night, you pass through a village on the outskirts of Snezhnaya, where you first catch wind of the news you had agreed on. The locals informed you that they had recently halted their work for half a day in your honour, believing that you had passed away. All of them are completely unaware that as they remark on the death of Brighella, they are speaking to the former Harbinger, who asks about the news under the guise of being a curious traveller. They also strongly advised you against venturing into the innermost heart of the nation. If anyone were to notice the helmet carefully secured around your waist, it might bring unwanted attention to your travels.

Though you were stripped of your insignia, you have your armour, which by some grace had been spared from confiscation. Though a seemingly trivial act of kindness, a sense of pride swelled within you as you gazed upon it. You are glad it is still yours. This armour had accompanied you through countless blood-soaked skirmishes, serving as a steadfast shield against all manner of danger. 

It is at that moment you decide to treat it as a trophy. Though there is no truth to it, you take responsibility for the Harbinger's slaying. Now, the armour which once protected you as a Harbinger will stand as a triumphant emblem of your hard-won victory over Brighella and the end of the Harbinger's tyrannical hold over the land. You know that you will keep it close, treasuring it always as a tangible reminder of the sacrifices you made to reach this pivotal moment. You slayed Brighella. You ended the Harbinger's tyranny.

If you didn't know better, you would think you were getting a little too far into it and starting to believe it yourself.

By the eleventh night, you find yourself situated in an inn, and the nights only carry on from there all the way up to the twenty-second night since your abrupt dismissal and, to the rest of the world, your supposed demise. Already, the whispers that once revolved around Brighella's defeat now shifted to speculations regarding her successor. The question was not necessarily who, but who could possibly? Her brutal reign as a Harbinger had instilled fear in the hearts of all who crossed her path and in the minds of the people, no one else could measure up to her sheer terror-inducing presence. Nobody knows what happened once they dared to fight Brighella until now. She was only the Fourth of the Tsaritsa's children, but she was the most combat-heavy, and no one wished to cross her, except for the rumoured contender for her throne, who was spoken of in hushed tones as nobody was eager to have their reverence for whoever was bold enough to reach the wrong ears.

Your achievements find their place amongst the rumours as people say that Brighella's killer stole her armour and wears it as her trophy.

Despite the slew of gossip that its patrons indulge in, you enjoy the quaintness of this bar made and run by travellers who use it like a pitstop to rest and recuperate. It is a home to them, along with adventurers and merchants who benefit from the atmosphere. The people are strangers, often reserved and eager to keep to themselves, but have immeasurable wealths of information that spill with a few drinks and a group of acquaintances who are, for only one night of pleasure and indulgence, their lifelong friends.

Among those friends buried in your own tankard of cheap ale, you laugh along with their jokes and entertain their questions like a test of your ability to lie and improvise in this tale you're making for yourself. If they have names, you don't know them. Brighella's death was a glorious battle but isolated to the hills where you were alone.

"Brighella was alone, and they were weakened by prior injury. I don't know what caused it." You mix a dash of the speculations in, downplaying your strength a tad as you're unwilling to expose too much of it. "I'm not one to miss an opportunity. When would it arise again?"

One of your new acquaintances scoffs, amused but no less aware of the dangers of doing such a thing. "And make an enemy of the Fatui?" He is a new graduate of the Sumeru Akademiya who's come to make his way through Snezhnaya for a job offer. Reminds you of someone else, minus the graduating.

"They will not miss her." You are quick to answer—too quick, arguably—as it draws a sliver of attention before dipping back under the radar as a product of your confidence. "Her 'head' makes too cute a decoration on my side to pass up stealing it."

"I wouldn't dare say such a thing. Fatuus comes here sometimes." They are the words of a Snezhnayan native raised to worship the Fatui, though he is somewhat disillusioned by their crimes and cruelty, as you've learned many are.

"Let them hear it!" Your laughter is boisterous and unabashed. "They'll see the armour anyway. They probably despise her like everyone else."

Another one of your new friends, a travelling merchant from Fontaine, interjects your ravings to add only a passing comment. It was as she had done all evening, her secrets locked up tight. "She did not make herself likeable."

"She was not meant to be likeable but a fearsome warrior." Again, the Snezhnayan man rebuttals the criticism against her as he had been doing all evening again.

"You don't have to get so far up her ass, Brighella's not gonna crawl out of her grave and thank you for it."

"You're so vulgar."

You plant your tankard firmly down on the table between the four of you, leaning over it to close the distance between you and the man. "I'm not meant to be likeable either."

Forget being only a little too into the role. You're revelling in the freedom of this new identity of yours.

Quick to disperse the tension, your graduate friend changes the topic without a hint of hesitance in his voice. "They left an underling people believe will take their place. It's a surprise to think Brighella had someone who followed them with such...devotion."

"It's strange, but not impossible." The merchant from Fontaine again, contributing nothing you weren't all already thinking.

"Could she have had a sentimental side?"

"Who cares if she had a sentimental side?"

"Upset the attention isn't on you anymore?"

Anger crosses your face, but you stifle it just as quickly as it appears. You wish their attention was off of you, really. The former you, maybe, but you nonetheless. You want to know about your subordinate. What happened to your second in command? You don't care to hear their speculation as to whether you were or were not particularly emotional with your underlings. You know the answers to all of those questions and more without their guessing games.

"Regardless of the reason, they say the underlying is much easier to swallow than she is, so maybe the position of Fourth Harbinger will change drastically if he takes it." 

"Would he really change its purpose if he was so loyal?"

"Unintentionally, perhaps."

God, these people are so dull. Just listening to them, you can tell they know nothing of the ways of the Fatui. Harbingers are not individual job positions with specific parameters. Each role is its own, and they are moulded by the person who assumes them like a character in a play, enchanting and unsettling in a horrific mix of theatrics and violence. It is what they stand for. One does not assume the role and become an actor with a script. They must improvise and act on a whim to the beat of the Tsaritsaʼs drum, their life no longer their own.

They are not whatever these ramblings and poor excuses for speculations make them out to be.

"Terribly misinformed, aren't they?" In your ear is the low voice of the Snezhnayan man holding in his laughter at the two as the scholar and the merchant go back and forth. 

You glance to your left, where he has leaned closer to you. "Repulsively," you respond curtly.

He has a faint glint of satisfaction in his eye as you seem to have confirmed something. "I thought you might've been from Snezhnaya." 

"So what if I am?"

"It was only an observation."

In the background, the main conversation continues, just as clumsy as it was before you had tuned it out in favour of drinking some more. "Does this mean he will also be named Brighella?"

Straightening back in his seat, the man swiftly interjected their back-and-forth responses to explain to them. "They receive a unique title upon their promotion, and nobody knows what it is until then." A simple enough concept to understand.

"In other words, anything but Brighella."

"It hasn't been long enough to know yet."

"It's strange. Nobody knows his name even now."

That would probably be because you never gave him one.

You considered it in the years you spent with him but couldn't find one you liked. His name was inhuman, not for your ears and not for your tongue, rendering it useless to you and every human who would hear it. The night you found him was spent crowded around a bonfire listing off every suggestion you and your subordinates could think of to no avail, as he only sat quietly by your side and said little about any of these choices, finding no familiarity in any of them. That's only natural, you suppose. 

You still haven't chosen a name for yourself that isn't Brighella, either. Your old one is well and truly forgotten, with the years eroding your memories. It had been centuries since you had been called anything else. Evidently, picking names is not your forte. 

"As far as I've heard, nobody knows what it is."

You find the mention of your subordinate has completely ruined your mood. You are grateful the creature is alive but worried the knowledge you're snooping around to find out when he will be promoted could land you in trouble. It's troubling enough to wonder if he has heard your tales through the grapevine about how you had supposedly 'killed' Brighella—his mistress and mentor—which he would not be happy about. Though you did not fear the creature before, now that you've personally trained him to understand human combat, you're not so sure you'd want to fight him. It would be a hassle. Unlike many, you do not fear the inhumanity of the Doctor or the stone wall that's called the Jester. Even the cunning Damselette struggles to do more than unsettle you, but you respect that creature's raw strength and understand that no matter what you do, it doesn't matter. You are confined to a human form, and he is not.

You lied when he said he wouldn't recognise you, however. You don't actually know if he would.

You don't know the extent to which his eyes can pick out the details in your appearance that aren't physical. Had he memorised your relative build? Your height? The way you carry yourself and your mannerisms? The thought unnerves you, but so does everything else about him.

"I'm turning in for the night." Without regard for the ongoing conversation, you declare your intentions and abruptly shut down whatever is being said at the time without much care for it. Whatever it is, it isn't important. Your unfinished drink is left behind as you make your way to your quarters.

In retrospect, you understand their eagerness to merely cover up the circumstances of your dismissal. For a Harbinger as feared as Brighella, it is easier to halt work for a mere half-day rather than attempt to contain the resulting fallout of admitting one of their own was inadequate while simultaneously preserving their tenuous hold on power.

-

Months pass before there is talk of the crowning of a new Harbinger, the people abuzz with the news and eager to know all they can, preferably before the aristocrats feel like sharing the night of the event. You considered attending the ceremony but ultimately decided against it. You may have the courage to do so, but you are certainly not stupid enough to wander into the waiting heart of the Fatui's clutches. You have waited patiently for this moment and can easily wait longer to hear the news.

No longer treating the inn like a home, you settled somewhere in the plains of another nation only a few weeks after you had first arrived there, sensing the barkeep was getting sick of you and the attention you were drawing to his otherwise obscure establishment. 

People settled there for a night, saw you were there, and word of mouth as they boasted of their encounters with you lured others who came to see you. While this influx of new customers certainly provided a boost to business, it also had the unintended consequence of driving away those who preferred to keep a low profile and valued its place as being for those 'in the know'. In other words, while you were great for a boom in business, you were bad for long-term business. 

The barkeep pushing the mora you tried to pay him to pay for another night was enough to send the message he wanted you gone, out by morning. The idea you were not to come back for quite some time was clear to you in the look he gave you.  

Liyue, on the other hand, is filled with mountains and teeming with visitors who have come to witness the highly anticipated Rite of Descension. Surprisingly, the influx of tourism only adds to the overall enjoyment of your experience. You would think that tourism would hinder your time there, but completely contrary it makes it better in a way. The locals are expecting an influx of outsiders to come to see the Geo Archon in person, and, as a result, they are not only willing to hire help for the time but also serve later at food stalls, and the place is livelier. 

People notice you less as you blend into a crowd of people who don't belong, and you slip under the radar.

You have no interest in the Rite of Descension nor the Geo Archon, and most of your time is spent outside the Harbour.

Wangshu Inn is still within Liyue but at a considerable distance from the Harbour, a mid-point between there and the border to Mondstadt. It is quieter, which is neither good nor bad, and home to some very understanding owners who ask so few questions it almost alarms you. Nonetheless, you crave respite from the chaos and theatrics you were revelling in as a reprieve from the stress you were under, wondering how you would live your life now. At one point, you relished being hailed as a hero by many, but it soon became overwhelming, and you found yourself trapped in the clutches of Brighella once again.

Whether by design or happenstance, your identity had begun to consume your life again, and if you wanted to have any hope of living outside of Brighella, then that had to stop. And so, you sought out a place to lay down your burdens and unwind, leading you to where you are now.

You arrive your old self, and despite clinging to it since your travels had begun, you remove every piece of your armour for what you intend to be a long time and leave it all neatly arranged for when you eventually return to it. You feel compelled to finally don the fresh outfit you acquired during your journey through Fontaine. Admittedly floor-length dresses and extravagance are not your style after years of being cooped up in a heavy suit of armour, but there's something alluring about trying out a new look, especially when it involves pants that don't weigh more than a third of your body weight. Besides, you always kind of liked them anyway, just...not yet. Now seems like a good time to dip your toes in.

You almost don't recognise yourself when you finally see yourself in the mirror. Perhaps you got too used to seeing a metal helmet staring back at you and a suit of armour for a body, but the fresh air against your skin and lighter clothes feels...good. 

For the first time in a while, you feel free.

The new outfit is making you giddy, too giddy for your taste. You don't recall having such an innate pep in your step, only one that felt deserved, but this different. While you typically associate a sense of satisfaction with having earned it through hard work or perseverance, this newfound exuberance seems to come from just existing in your new clothes. You are happy just because even if there is nothing to feel happy about. It's as if the simple act of wearing them has given you a boost, despite not having accomplished anything significant. It doesn't even seem like you made much progress toward becoming yourself when you lay it all out on paper. You bought clothes and wore them, that's it. 

Something about it feels so much like yourself. The freedom to stray from what you thought you were until now, something you hadn't dared to try before.

One thing you like about Wangshu Inn is how it serves even people who aren't staying there. The ground floor overlooking the water is designated as almost a kind of restaurant. People filter in and out to be served, stay for lunch, meet with friends, and take breaks from their missions. It is meant as a place for travelling merchants, but you find that is not all its patrons see in it.

You are not nearly as sociable as you were in the Snezhnayan bar you were at, but this seems more manageable anyway.

"If you've come looking for work, the Adventurer's Guild may have a place for you." A suggestion from a merchant who struck up an idle conversation with you for some reason sticks with you. You can't say why, but you imagine a product of boredom.

"They accept anyone?" Your surprise is evident in your tone, as you thought they might have tighter restrictions.

Just as in disbelief fact as you are, he shrugs, "As long as you've got enough power to back yourself, a friend of mine said they'll accept anyone."

That sounds far too good to be true, at least for your taste. "And it doesn't matter where you come from or where you go?"

"Adventurers are known to get restless in one place for too long."

"I see, and you can just go up a--"

"Excuse me, miss." You don't remember hearing that voice, but you recognise the attire when you turn your head just enough to be met with the sight of a cicin mage standing before you impatiently awaiting your attention. The top half of her face is concealed, as is customary, but there's no mistaking the unkind smile that tugs at the corners of her lips as you meet her gaze.

Has she come for retribution? 

Despite your fears of having to make a mess, the woman reveals a letter that is sealed with wax and extends it towards you, expecting you to receive it sooner rather than later as she waves it slightly as a form of incentive. "From the Damselette," she adds.

"What could the Damselette want with me?"

"Perhaps a warning." The words slip by, quiet but noticeable, immediately catching your attention. You raise an eyebrow at her. She's slowly unveiling her contempt at your presence; you're very aware of that fact. You are not familiar with her. It is unlikely that she ever worked under your command. However, it is possible that she might've held a certain level of regard, which has since turned to hostility as rumours of her arrogant killer run rampant. "I don't know. I'm not privy to those things."

Your eyes glance over her from head to toe in thought, scrutinising her for any indication of where her animosity came from. However, there is nothing that gives away her motives. You break your gaze away from her and glance down at the letter in your hand. "I suggest you get a better hold of your tongue. They don't like it when you're rude to their guests."

Her smile does not waver. "You are not a guest." She states that fact with glaringly false politeness.

"Everyone who recieves correspondence from a Harbinger is a guest."

You suppose you can't fault her disdain when all is said and done.

From somewhere tucked away in her clothing, she pulls what appears to be a knife from your peripheral vision and points it at you, but you look up to find it is only a blunt letter opener balanced in the palm of her hand, waiting to be picked up.

"I was ordered to stay until you had read the letter to deliver her your response."

Just as she believes you are a murderer, the letter addresses you as such. Your lies have reached her ears. Moreover, she is playing along with them.

You expected threats and unfair deals, but it is only an update on what is happening regarding your position, the reassurance that they have not violated the terms of the agreement made. A half-hearted apology and an excuse. Preparations set them back, supposedly.

While you imagine preparing not only a funeral but a ceremony to announce the next Harbinger does take time, it would not take this much time with how prepared they were to kill you off in the first place. It was a planned betrayal.

It just looks better if they don't appear so prepared.

For whatever reason, perhaps your consolation prize for enduring her shameless lies, she shares a secret with you. As you casually scan the letter with little care for its contents, your attention is immediately drawn to the heart of the matter. It's the very subject on everyone's minds and all that anyone speaks of. 

Il Capitano. His name is Il Capitano.

Personally, you would not have picked it, but that does not mean that you hate the name. Quite the opposite, in fact, as you have to admit that when you envision the name paired with his face, it suits him well. She ends the letter promising that she will 'take good care of him', though you know that your respective ideas of those words do not align or even coexist in the same universe. There is an unmistakable discrepancy between her intentions and your own, and you don't like it.

"Come back to us, Brighella. You can watch everything you wanted in person."

-

You won't go back. It's a trap.

Irritated, you find yourself back in the heart of the country where nobody lurks, haphazard in the way you fire your arrows at every creature that dares to disturb your sense of peace. It's hard to focus, and you don't bother trying. Liyue is not the same as Snezhnaya, with open plains broken up by rocky mountains. The creatures are mostly the same, and all die the same, hilichurls and geovishaps running rampant and shot down into piles of meat and rocks.

It doesn't matter how loudly you shout, as there's nobody around to hear it. You could scream, cry, and throw a tantrum all you want, and it won't matter. Even if you throw yourself at the ground and bang your head into the dirt, nobody will see it.

This is all pointless. You will never escape. It will never matter how far you roam or how fast you run.

Why did you think you could? Had your brain melted from your head?

There is no other side. There is no salvation. You are owned from the day you're brought in until the day you die, but why? Why did they want to bring you back to Snezhnaya? What was the point? You are out of the way now, hardly causing trouble for them. Despite this, everything seems to be running smoothly, even with the liberties you have taken in your new role. Was that it? The reason they wanted you to see?

It must be. There is no other reason to risk exposing the lie otherwise. Unless it was to tarnish the Fatui's reputation.

You refuse to believe it is something as innocent as wanting to see your request honoured. Nothing is innocent within the Fatui, not an action without hidden intentions or motives. Centuries of watching their misdeeds from the inside, which always go unpunished and unchallenged by anyone except the powerless commoners, have taught you that there is always an ulterior motive lurking behind their actions.

Not to mention it came from Columbina.

You must've spent three days out there before finally returning to Wangshu Inn, dirtied by the elements and craving something to eat, like a child's insatiable desire for sweets. The dead of night provides a cover for you to take a dip in the water beside the inn in an attempt to rinse the dirt and sweat off of you. It dawns on you that your new clothes would've been ruined if you hadn't had the foresight to change before venturing out again. In that moment, thoughts of the Fatui and the memories evoked by your armour flooded your mind, and you didn't want the same thing to happen to the clothes that had made you so happy from the moment you put them on.

It feels childish how you cling to these things.

A part of you just can't help it, torn between holding onto the memories that define who you believe yourself to be and starting anew with a clean slate. Neither can win. One is stuck on the past and what little you have of it, and the other wants to abandon all of that and start completely fresh.

The half-compromise you are trying desperately to make work by accepting that what's gone is gone while keeping your armour close to your heart is obviously not working. The thought of discarding it pains you too much to actually do it, plagued by the urge to melt it down to scrap metal while also being overwhelmed by the knowledge you will regret doing that as soon as you see the mess that would be left of it.

Your new clothes make you happy, so you need more new things to make you even happier, right? If new means you glean happiness, then more new is what will help you move past all of this deliberation in your head.

Clothes were a given, and...maybe a haircut? Yeah. You should try cutting your hair and decide on a name for yourself that isn't Brighella. Something you want, a name you like, that you can look at yourself and see that person reflected in a mirror. The person you think you are supposed to be when you look past the expectation that has been instilled in you.

That merchant you spoke to mentioned the Adventurer's Guild might have a place for you. What if you should be helping people instead of hurting them? What if you only did that to please the Tsaritsa?

In the background of your thoughts, you walk yourself back to your room at the Wangshu Inn and collapse onto your bed, thinking. Though you are exhausted, you cannot bring yourself to sleep for one reason or another. You make excuses for yourself just to ignore the glaring root of the problem you know is there but refuse to acknowledge. The problem isn't really how hot or cold the room is or the texture of your blankets and how much you dislike the humidity in the air. Something else entirely is keeping you from rest.

Your hair isn't the problem either, or your clothes. Even your lack of a proper name really doesn't bother you. They're only the illusion of change you're using to cover up how truly lost you have become now that you have to think for yourself.

How long have you been alive now? Centuries at least. You can't even live independently after that long? No. No, you can't.

You are so lonely, you are lost, you are confused. You need company, you need guidance, and you need purpose. How are you supposed to live? Where is the person who will tell you what to do every day? 

You have to make that choice yourself? You can't do that. You've never done that. 

The thought of even something so basic scaring you so severely brings you to a weakness you never realised you even possessed. Fear surges through the very depths of your being, an unfamiliar sensation that you find unsettling. You don't like it, but it's an impossible feeling to push down and ignore. Over the years, you had quietly collected your shortcomings into a neat little jar and pushed it aside, out of sight, away from your conscious thought, as if pretending you were invincible. 

What would you have done if you had gotten to Capitano? Make him decide?

He can't. He's not human. He doesn't know enough to decide. You've only made him just like you, a fearsome man until he's abandoned and vulnerable like you have become, and then he'll be pathetic and helpless too.

Nothing came out of any of your efforts, did it? It couldn't have possibly. Even with every attempt you made, it was always doomed to fail.

-

It turns out that the Adventurer's Guild was more than happy to take you in, in a way. They put you right to work. It helps to take your mind off of things if nothing else. It's mindless work, able to tune out everything in your brain and run on auto-pilot. You take to this life so well it scares you, completing your tasks with so little trouble you wonder how this isn't more popular, even if some are arguably unnecessary. If only you were good at proper cooking, you might get rich from the tens of requests for certain dishes. 

You're irresistibly drawn to the combat, right back to the heat of battle where you feel truly alive. In all you've had to question, your love for the thrill of fighting has never been up for debate. You're unsure whether it's the adrenaline or something else, but you don't care to know, either. You don't concern yourself with such questions. It's not important to you why, so long as you find comfort in it. It's the one thing you cannot be robbed of. 

A hard day's work is always rewarding.

"Make sure you be careful today." A fellow adventurer is quick to catch you before you can wander off for your next quest, smiling and unbothered despite his words. You've never met him, but he speaks as if you have.

Something about the bond of adventurers is so reminiscent of the Fatui.

You turn back to place your full attention on him rather than the grilled tiger fish you had acquired out of curiosity about the taste. "Why's that?" You're not too bothered, expecting him to tell you that it's dangerous out there, the Abyss Order existing and all.

"The Fatui are restless."

His words catch you off-guard, light in tone as they are. In outward appearances, he's mostly unbothered, while the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end.

You try to grasp your bearings just enough to speak. "They don't do that for fun." Something about it is just as shaky as you expected, unable to fully mask it, but you figure he'll blame it on nerves.

"Harbinger, apparently." He doesn't draw attention to your demeanour, so neither do you.

"Which one?"

"Dunno."

It's probably Columbina. Maybe you pissed her off when you shot the messenger. Yeah, she probably wouldn't appreciate that. When you did it in a fit of anger, you expected her to find it funny after coming to your senses.

"Hey. Something wrong?"

You startle as you realise he had been speaking that whole time, and you just weren't listening.

"Sorry?"

"I said it's weird that they'd be up and about so soon after the newest was officially promoted."

You deadpan a little, realising it wasn't something of actual value, just a misconception that the greatest powers that be in Snezhnaya aren't spiteful enough to hate each other just as much as they hate everyone else. "Not really. They're not particularly sentimental."

"They don't even care to go out drinking for their own?"

"They hardly know how to tolerate each other." You realise your slip of the tongue too late, seeming too familiar. That's a problem. He barely draws attention to it, only making a strange face.

"Well, whatever the reason, work doesn't stop for them."

In silence, you agree and continue your day as if you really believe that.

-

As you wrap up your work for the day, you feel a sense of pleasant exhaustion wash over you. It struck you as strange that nobody was out in the wild, even the usual fatuus you avoid. Something about it was uniquely eerie. It dawns on you why he came to the conclusion that the Fatui were 'restless'. They must have retreated into the city to prepare for the impending arrival of the Harbinger destined to disrupt the small peace you had found. The sudden influx of fatuus in Liyue would make it seem like they are increasing in numbers nationwide when in reality, they are just moving.

You're not going to let it bother you for now.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you know you have promised yourself that repeatedly and have found it to be a lie, but you mean it this time. You're familiar enough with the workings of the Fatui to know that they don't like to leave sectors alone for too long, and Liyue had spent a fair time before your dismissal unchecked. 

Even at night, you remain unbothered when you wander Liyue for a time, looking for something to do and notice what he was talking about.

Many of them are fussing more than usual, meaning that chances are it's too late to inhibit the process of this Harbinger arriving. You could turn tail and run, scurry off to the other side of Teyvat and settle in Fontaine or even Natlan, but you like it here.

You sit in the heart of Liyue, listening to a speaker tell his stories. You know you shouldn't linger, but you tell yourself you can for just a little while longer. It reminds you of the past, filled with Liyue legends you remember hearing about as news at the time they took place. The fact these tales are now old enough to be suitable for a speaker's recitation as 'legends' is a grim reminder that maybe you're older than you realised. Your early life is now from the time of legends. You can push that feeling aside to focus on the nostalgia of hearing these stories.

Beside you, you hear the chair move but don't budge from looking to see who it is, assuming that all other chairs are taken or that it's an adventurer who got curious, possibly even the man you had spoken to earlier about all of the Fatui--

“Reminiscing, Brighella?”

You recognise both that voice and that name and go stiff, eyes finding her before your head can even turn in her direction.

In front of you—or rather, across from you—the Knave sits upon the other chair at your table as if she was always supposed to be there, seemingly at ease, but you know better than to assume her guard is down. Arlecchino has always had an icy composure, though she can be hot-headed at times and can lose her temper when provoked. It's not surprising that she was able to track you down, even without knowing what your face looks like.

She turns to you leisurely, unhurried. "I came to look for you since you missed the ceremony." It sounds like a greeting the way she speaks those words. You suppose it is one, really.

Ah, maybe you should've been worried after all.

You try to play off your emotions as if you're completely unfazed by her presence. It's the only way to maintain some semblance of control. "Did Columbina not like my gift?"

"Oh, she rather enjoyed it." Arlecchino maintains a similar composure, knowing approaching you in public means employing subtlety as much as it means she's less likely to be attacked. "She felt it was just the kind of gift you would give."

"I try my best not to disappoint." Your response is less enthusiastic than you might like, a hint of nervousness infesting your brain and refusing to budge.

Despite this, she doesn't notice, not outwardly. Really, that means nothing, as you are very aware of how good her poker face is. "Il Capitano hasn't stopped speaking about how much he'd like to kill you. You don't want to disappoint, do you?" When you were waiting for her to speak, those weren't the words you expected to hear, but somehow you're not fully surprised either.

"I see, so my lies reached even his ears." 

You thought as much.

"I think you'll be quite surprised when you see him." Her reply is so cocky that you almost scoff at her.

"Who said I would be seeing him?" You try to match the audacity she had to make such a remark.

She turns to you rather casually for the words she speaks, an odd tone you can't quite place, lacing her words half like mockery. "You miss him, don't you?"

It's that question that makes you snort and turn away as you realise that her negotiation and persuasion skills are abysmal for such a cunning and intelligent woman. "Not enough to become foolish enough to trust someone whose title denotes them as dishonest and untrustworthy." You always wondered about that, really. "A name like 'the Knave' really isn't subtle."

"Funny." She doesn't laugh or even smile. "I believe yours was something close to 'bother'."

You lean back in your chair, testing it slightly as you push the front legs off the floor as a means of entertaining yourself through this frankly dull conversation. "Then I suppose we're both living up to our names."

She remains silent for several seconds, pondering her next words. You can see her fingers rub against the wood of the chair as a distraction. 

"The others told me it was pointless to try to bring you back."

"They were right."

"You won't come back for any reason?"

"I know a trap when I see one."

"Of course."

Silence, again. You don't care to break it, either. You came to hear the stories, and you really would like to continue that rather than listening to her voice, but she's not making it easy.

"Is that all now?" Your voice shows your impatience more than you might like, but you realise it may work in your favour if she senses she's annoying you.

For the first time in a while, she smiles faintly to herself. "For now. Your answer is abundantly clear." She appears to concede, if only for a little while

You let the chair land back on all of its legs and lean your elbow on the table. 

"Are you going to get out of that chair?"

"No."

"And why is that?"

"It's comfortable."

The urge to roll your eyes brims in your mind, but you stop yourself. You don't want to give the Knave the satisfaction of knowing something she is already well aware of. Besides that, you don't want her to know that you really don't want her here in any capacity. Arlecchino's presence is never a good thing.

You let out a tentative breath as you consider your next words quite carefully. The wrong thing might have Arlecchino never leaving you, and the right one might drive her back to Snezhnaya if you're lucky. You shift your whole body to face her. "You just arrived from Snezhnaya, I take it. What do you want to eat?"

She eyes you suspiciously, scrutinising you for any sign of trying to fool her into consuming poison or making herself sick. "You're feeding me now?"

You pretend you don't notice her intensity. "Well, you're not leaving. It would look strange for me to order food for myself."

Again she smiles to herself, a light mockery that's cautious and testing, easing herself into accepting your offer. "I wasn't aware you cared so much."

"You could starve if you'd prefer." You turn away as you speak and don't look back, shifting yourself back in your seat to be front-facing.

There's a quietness between the two of you, both waiting for the answer to your proposal. You have an inkling Arlecchino will accept, but you don't know with her. She never seemed especially pleased by the times the Jester would convene you all over meals and such, ending up in fights and bickering. She never fought with you, however, so perhaps it's different. 

"Order whatever you like."

You find yourself looking intently at a list of the options on the menu. It's quite a lengthy list. "Mm..." Even though it's just a false invitation and you're doing it to be courteous, you can't say you aren't enjoying the thought of picking out a meal and sharing it with her. Despite your removal from the Fatui's affairs for some time, you'd be lying if you thought you weren't at least a little curious. "Jade Parcels...and maybe Jade Fruit Soup? But Dragon Beard Noodles sound good too..."

Becoming slightly irritated by your indecision, Arlecchino looks across the table to where you are sitting deep in thought. "Is it that complicated of a decision?"

You spare her only a glance before returning to looking for something she would enjoy. "I have to pick something you'll like, don't I?"

Soup is more challenging to share than noodles are.

With that, your decision is made, and you settle. Despite yourself, you are somewhat restless in thought. Arlecchino's lack of contribution is slightly frustrating, but it sounds like she'd be content with anything. You're not sure if your choice is the correct one, but you believe you picked something to the best of your abilities that is easy, even to a foreign tongue. As far as you know, Arlecchino is from Fontaine. You've never eaten like this with Arlecchino to know her tastes or dietary restrictions.

"Jade Parcels and Dragon Beard Noodles. Sound good?"

"It'll do."

"Good. I'll go order it, then."

Arlecchino must be surprised that you returned, as she doesn't seem too thrilled. She never really does, but there was a disappointed glint in her eye right up until you walked in front of her to get to your chair. 

It continues until you get the food, and Arlecchino finally stares at it with an overwhelming sense of dread, left with an intense feeling of apprehension regarding whether. You appear not to hesitate, though this arrangement isn't quite what she had expected. Arlecchino had thought you would order enough dishes that you wouldn't have to share, but you seemed to understand it in a way that meant you would be eating from the same bowl.

You notice her hesitation almost immediately, yet your vexation with her arrival makes you unwilling to acknowledge that you know the reason, a deliberate miscommunication on your part. "Mm. I didn't think this through." Your words seem to make her perk up as if you will free her from her awkwardness by asking for another bowl. "You probably aren't used to using chopsticks, are you? Not many dishes that need those back home."

She knows you're toying with her, that sweet smile from across the table hardly hiding your true intentions. Arlecchino waits, watching to see what you will do next, as she looks back at you with a scowl. 

Her eyes do not leave you as you wordlessly collect a Jade Parcel and present it to her like you are patronising her with this action. Your feigned kindness, this supposed benevolence of you offering to feed her like a child, no doubt hoping she'll back down and excuse herself completely. 

She won't let you do that and have the satisfaction of seeing her back down. She won't allow you to break her facade of acceptance.

Though you circle the food in front of her slowly, only a motion with your fingers trying to convince her or make her as uncomfortable as possible, Arlecchino continues to stare for several more moments. Eventually, she musters the courage to relinquish some of her pride.

Arlecchino leans in slightly, just enough to open her mouth and take a bite from the food you hold out for her. Despite the circumstances that led to this moment, she can't help but acknowledge your good taste. Arlecchino couldn't possibly eat another bite that way, though. Not being fed by the woman who is now her adversary just to avoid her 'winning' in the situation, but admitting she is willing to let you get under her skin is not an option either.

She must treat this situation differently, as if you are merely feeding her out of obligation to her rather than because you have your own motives.

It hardly stops her from enjoying her portion of the meal from the chopsticks you share with her. At some point, it finally occurs to her that you only hold one pair, leaving her set untouched despite feeding her. You had been feeding her with the same set you ate with the entire time, and while you were well aware of that, it hardly seemed to alarm you as much as it alarmed her.

Your biggest disappointment was being unable to get rid of her that whole time, watching her readily accept whatever you tried to use against her. Watching a Harbinger practically bow their head and obey you, however, fuels your consciousness. It's like eye candy to think back and realise you did that.

It's another one of your quiet defiances against the Tsaritsa. You wonder how far you can take it.

As you stand from your seat, you stretch your arms above your head until you hear a faint pop as all the tension in your back relaxes. "I don't imagine you'll be leaving anytime soon."

"No. I have plenty of business outside of you." It's not a lie. She's got a lot to do in Liyue even without your presence, but you're a priority. 

You lean back over your chair, a mischievous little look on your face. "Do tell."

"You know that I can't do that." She's not amused by the attempt, either.

You straighten back to your usual height and brush it off in moments. "Unfun. I thought your loyalty to the Tsaritsa could be won over easily." 

She scowls. "Not by you."

"I see. You have standards after all."

She chooses to ignore your comment. Up until now, you have had quick-fire conversations, sometimes interrupted by a silence that drags on. This is no exception.

"Capitano truly believes you are dead." Arlecchino realises when she has caught your attention, and that time is now. She notices how your head tilts towards her ever so slightly, and your head raises. "For a time, he grieved, but it didn't last long. He has become fixated on the idea of revenge ever since he heard that Brighella's killer was running around boasting about their achievements with the authentic armour to support their claims."

Suddenly it makes some small amount of sense in your mind why they would want you to come back exactly. Capitano won't stay put forever. If he's stuck on vengeance, he won't rest until he exacts it. You weren't thinking about how much your stories would piss him off at the time.

When you spend an extended period of time silent and seemingly disinclined to answer, Arlecchino continues. "I want to show you to him."

You have subjected him to human emotions he's not equipped to deal with. Rightfully, you feel horrible like more of your failures are being wrenched from your corner and dumped out into the open for all to see. It doesn't matter that you're in Liyue, where nobody knows the two of you. You don't want them to see either. 

"He wouldn't want to see me." You don't think she really wanted to hear those words when you finally speak. Her expression gives it away. "He should enjoy his position without my interference. I've ruined his life enough."

"You've given him power and status, he should be grateful for that--"

"No. He shouldn't." You don't even wait for her to finish. She hasn't even realised it yet. Not the way you've been forced to. That power is a detriment, not a blessing. Why should he want that? "I thought that way as well, but now I…I don't think my choice was the correct one."

Arlecchino was not expecting to evoke your vulnerability, shallow as it may be for now. "What choice?"

"To bring him back from the abyss." 

From a purely objective perspective, taking in Capitano was the cause of everything. Arlecchino presumably thinks of it in the way you don't want her to, that you regret taking him in because he ultimately ruined everything for you, causing your world to fall apart. You don't. You wish you hadn't dragged him down with you.

Now Capitano still dealing with the consequences of your choices. He was perfectly satisfied where he was and would've remained that way had he not been caught up in your plans. It was your arrogance that made you think Capitano would prefer to come with you. At no point in your first interaction had he indicated he was displeased in his circumstances, only hostile because humans were so close to him. It is an understandable thing, considering that humans were a foreign concept to him and potentially posed a threat.

"Because he overtook you?" 

There it is.

Despite her words, she appears to have dropped her irritated expression and the impatience in her words and actions. You are finally speaking, and she won't lose that opportunity to an avoidable break in her temper.

"No. No, nothing like that." You try to find the words to explain it, even knowing she likely wouldn't understand it in her current position. You doubt she could ever comprehend it with how she treats her loyalty. "It's more like… Off the record, though I was cherished for many years, even I eventually became disposable. I have left Capitano in the hands of the person who caused that, and now I have damned him to the same fate."

Arlecchino is silent in thought, mulling over your words with great care. The tone of the conversation shifted right under your noses, and with it, so did her demeanour. She became relaxed in a way, though you imagine no less guarded than she always is. "I fail to see how your performance declined. In fact, you are more necessary now than you have ever been."

"I see." In your head, that means she's on your side to a degree. "So you believe that my termination was a mistake?"

"A grave error at best." Her words only confirm the way you thought of it. "Even if you had declined in performance, the people have begun to question more than ever, which sabotages the political landscape of Snezhnaya for those who care about it, the same people who stood idly by while you were ousted. Those who oppose the Fatui are pushing the notion that we must be weaker than we appear, because if even Brighella could die, then what does that say for the rest of us."

Though you wish you could say that concept was inconceivable, the idea that those fighting for reform would seize upon your demise as a means to spur change. It's not shocking that everyone else has been called into question, either. Though it is easy to push the role of frontrunner onto the Director, his duty is mainly administrative, as is the case with many high-ranking positions. His wrath is quick and brutal, and sparse. Dottore is too busy with his disgusting hobbies, and Columbina must remain in the light as a figure they can cling to. That leaves the position of Fourth as the one who is publicly the most violent and ruthless, which used to fall to you.

"I see. Is that why they want me to come back?" You don't expect an honest answer as you ask that question, half anticipating another play at your heartstrings.

"No." 

Frustratingly, she doesn't elaborate.

"I'll only agree to return if Capitano is free to do as he wishes."

She scoffs, somewhat returning to her brash attitude. "Even if I could make that decision, we're well past the point where that's a possibility."

You know that she's correct in that.

Still, you can't stop the sight you let out. You knew the request was wonderful in theory but inconceivable in practice, but asking never hurt anyone. "Then what do you want from me? I take it that though I'm only a stagehand, my part in the theatre is not yet over."

"Is that how you see it?"

"Answer my question."

"Execution."

You pause at her answer.

"Execution?"

You're not even sure you heard her correctly. The execution of who? Brighella has already been put to death, and Capitano has barely warmed his seat among the Harbingers. Nobody left in this is worth killing, given the precarious nature of the Fatui's support in the aftermath of Brighella's murder. It was already unstable, and now things are just worse, with no better word to describe.

You doubt they made the decision lightly.

"Execution. Your execution for the murder of Brighella and crimes against the state."

Your nerves instantly spike again, and your guard is higher than ever. At any moment, you could need to draw your bow and fight her because even though you're unsure of how to treat this life, you're not ready to give it up. No foe has scared you before, and neither will the prospect of rebuilding from square one.

"I see, so you've come to extradite me."

"You read my intentions horribly. I'm impressed you managed to make it so far like that."

You furrow your brows in annoyance. "Then what?"

"The values of the Fatui no longer align with mine." The assertion draws your attention more than anything else. You have always been aware that she is unconcerned with the ideas of loyalty and honour, which you can't fault her for. Abiding by the code of honour the Tsaritsa instilled in you left you here.

You may be completely wrong, but she was so vague and doesn't seem to be waiting to say anything else. "Is this your way of telling me you're deserting the Fatui?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"You so happen to be someone I like." 

You're startled by that as well. As far as you were aware, the decision to do nothing in the face of your dismissal was unanimous. You thought Capitano was your only remaining ally. Even if she's the lowest ranking, that is not indicative of power in an objective sense but of authority. In a sense, she is the new 'you' of the Harbingers, as she always was to a degree. 

Blame for the disorder is shifting in your absence to her.

"Because I cleaned the messes you now manage?"

"Because you aren't cowardly and fixated on politics but inhibited by them. You are a model of what is right." You can't say you follow what she's saying but allow her to continue. "Pulcinella and even Pierro refuse to travel abroad, always making excuses to shirk their jobs when faced with danger in order to comfortably remain in luxury. From the day I joined, you stood out to me in that way."

You raise an eyebrow at her, unimpressed by whatever she's trying to do right now. "Are you trying to flatter me into coming back?"

"I was telling the truth." She doesn't look impressed, either.

You feel a little embarrassed by that, suddenly feeling as though you really had responded quite rudely to an innocent statement. "Hearing a person idolise me is strange," you admit.

"It's not idolising." Her correction is sharp.

"Sounded close enough."

Silence again, as with the pauses scattered around the rest of your conversation. You aren't catapulting the topic into something of great interest or progressing, and neither is Arlecchino. Her lips press into a thin line trying to hide any cracks and stifle any emotion that slips through.

"I admire you."

You did not realise such a thing was possible, really.

"I thought you may have remembered the times we shared and think fondly of it, but perhaps not. We fought once- maybe twice- before. We drank together. Nothing else."

To end that statement with 'nothing else' as if to reduce every conversation, interaction, hour and experience to ashes is thoughtless at best. You didn't remember either instance in which Arlecchino believes you fought and still don't, though you try to now that you have come to find it apparently happened. If it did, the chances of you actually remembering is slim to none with how your memory is. It's not that you forget things quickly, but that minor events slip through the cracks in your frankly chock-full memory.

"I don't remember them, I'm sorry."

"I didn't expect you to."

Despite her words, there is a faint bittersweetness to it, the realisation you are insignificant to the person you aspire toward being like. Somewhere, even if she is aware it was always not only a possibility but highly likely, it still feels like a letdown, the fragile hope you might remember her strength. You only remember her drunken and all too enamoured by you to think properly. It is foolish of her to feel that way because you have battled many foes, and expecting you to remember all of them, let alone your underling, is unreasonable.

"You still haven't answered my question." Changing the topic, you take the opportunity to try to direct her back to what you asked in the first place. "Why are you really here?"

"The Jester gave me permission to pursue you, believing I would attempt to convince you to return to Snezhnaya after Columbina failed." As Arlecchino begins to explain, it slowly begins to make sense as the pieces fall neatly into place. "However, I have no interest in appeasing the wants of dignitaries who care only for their comfort."

You don't want that either. It's just a repeat of Capitano. "Do you understand how dangerous what you're doing is?" It's an attempt to remind her, but Arlecchino's unwavering expression tells you that reminders are unnecessary and unwanted.

"Yes, you were removed for less." She only confirms it for you. "Dottore is of the opinion that you will be forgotten, as are several others-" you imagine singling him out has something to do with them fighting all the time- "but that is simply impossible."

"Times change. You would be surprised how many things we thought would never be forgotten that humans have completely lost all knowledge of."

To her, that concept may be harder to swallow. Arlecchino has never seen the centuries roll by as you have and isn't as familiar with what does and does not remain. Even the greatest gods fell in the Archon War, and most humans cannot name any but the seven Archons. It is natural to forget and progress. The past is meant to become speculation and theory.

"I won't allow that." Abruptly she stops, though her sudden words startle you somewhat with how intense they are. That kind of illogical thought process is natural, maybe. You can't really say. "They could remember."

You shake your head in response, a firm denial before she's even begun to try and sell you on the idea. "There's no need for them to remember."

"There is every need."

"People don't glean the same admiration you do for someone they see as a tyrant."

"Then evoke fear!"

"Enough." You did not expect to have to put your foot down so harshly but do not hesitate to. "I won't entertain this."

Arlecchino grits her teeth at how easily you let go. Even though you are obviously not acclimated to civilian life, you refuse her offer that would allow you to return to Snezhnaya in a potential position of power. It is yet another failed step in the many she expected to have to take to convince you.

"Then let me hide you until some time passes."

"I'm not a precious treasure." She ignores how you roll your eyes at her, completely withdrawing how emotionally available you had managed to be. She can't let her anger take control of her again. "I can handle myself thank you very much." 

You sense she will not be giving up easily.

Even if you could convince her to leave you to your devices and that you would be fine, you doubt she would accept that. However, you have a feeling she knows you intend to disappear after this conversation. You have no idea why else she would pour her heart out in an attempt to make you easier to keep hold of. If you leave, you hold the advantage.

"I cannot continue to defend your honour while you stand by and allow them to do as they please with your name."

That doesn't worry you too much when you've been contributing to it since leaving. "Then give up. Let my name be tarnished."

Arlecchno's anger finally begins to boil over despite her efforts to contain it, rage spilling from the cracks in her composure. "You cannot have forgotten everything we did together."

"Of course I have not forgotten that." Your words are more fuel than suffocation to the growing fire.

"Then accept my help and stop being so stubborn."

"There's no need to."

She grabs you by your arm before you can step away, and you can feel a chill in her hand seep into your skin, likely a byproduct of her delusion. It doesn't hurt, but it doesn't match well with how warm you are most of the time. "You would be willing to pretend you don't wish for normalcy to avoid confronting the Tsaritsa?"

"If I return to Snezhnaya, I will die." You lay it out as directly as possible, without an if, but or and. There's no room to debate this because the outcome will not change. Even if the two of you decide you're best friends, nobody else will see things that way, so it's pointless to pretend you don't see it as it has to be.

Arlecchino finally appears to consider your words more carefully, remaining silent again, but you do not interrupt her this time. You shift your focus to the icy hand still touching you and begin to channel what little you can of your vision without drawing your bow to warm her. You hope she doesn't notice it, not wanting her to find an ulterior motive in it.

"Then it is unavoidable."

You don't quite understand what she is saying until she removes her hand from you to place something on the table you shared.

Suspiciously, you eye the item as you wonder about the significance of abandoning it beyond the obvious, but you don't want to acknowledge that option. "You'll need your insignia if you wish to return." You needn't remind her of that, but it is a prompting statement.

Arlecchino shocks you with her next words.

"I'm remaining with you."

You stand in stunned silence for several seconds, replaying them over in your head. Remaining with you. She doesn't mean that, does she? This is another of her persuasion tactics, right? She cannot actually go through with this. "You're what?"

"I'm not going back to Snezhnaya."

That only confirms your fear, the chill of it rushing to the core of your being and lighting your nerves up with an icy cold. Maybe that's just the hand touching your cheek.

"You can't. You shouldn't. You should stay there."

She makes an odd face at you, half understanding of your plight and the other confused about why you care so much about what she does with her job. "In that place you curse yourself for leaving Capitano?"

"It's a comfortable position." You try to reason that way with her, pointing out the inarguable benefit.

"I don't care for comfort."

You scramble to find another reason, something else to make her give in and pick it back up. You have not gotten anything you attempted to get this night. Arlecchino didn't leave and is, in fact, intent on leaving the Fatui to continue that.

"I don't care to waste my time pandering to people who do not value what I provide for them, all the while relying on it."

That's not a reason you wish to say, but it is. It is a very real reason. You can see it in how the Fatui regards your circumstances that they have never found enough value in the mountain of work you took on. If they had, you wouldn't be having this conversation. She's right, you realise, she realised what you could not.

"Even if you do not allow it, I would be able to follow you." It's a strange thing to say, but maybe she was trying to convince you. Her arm falls back to her side.

You shake your head. "Humans tire."

"I won't be too slow."

It's different for her. Arlecchino doesn't hulk around a bulky suit of armour and a helmet to conceal her face. It is open and well-known. There will be places she can't ever travel to again. Her life will be this and nothing else, while yours will eventually become something else, as it was always supposed to. Even if you don't want to now, you will move on and find a new sense of self. She may never.

"There are grave consequences."

"I know."

"You may never know peace."

"I can live with that."

"You--" 

--will question everything you have ever known. That was what you were about to say. You again come to a realisation that clears things for you. It's different. Arlecchino has not spent her whole life dedicated to serving the Tsaritsa, only a few years at best. You spent centuries. It is no wonder that she could give it all up so easily. Arlecchino only had one foot in the door in the first place.

The realisation dawning on you this way is daunting.

"...Fine. I will accept that." Though you thought you would struggle more, you also understand that it is useless to do so.

"A good choice."

The act of conceding can bring about a sense of relief and comfort. Conceding feels nice, in a way. It is a respite from constantly controlling everything to be exactly as you wish. It allows you the freedom of simply acknowledging the reality of a situation and accept that it may not align with your ideals, even if you don't necessarily like it.

You don't want Arlecchino to accompany you for her sake, but accepting that she will not share your fate of being humiliated can bring about a sense of peace. She will live however she pleases, and that means she may not want for the same future you received. Having a free will allows her to leave.

Slowly, you try to recover from the shock of the situation. As you take in a deep, quivering breath, you begin to steady yourself and attemt to process all that is unfolding.

A single question comes to your mind, a relatively simple one but significant enough to matter greatly.

"What is your name?"

CROSSPOSTED ON AO3

[cruyuu]

OK so it wasn't just me who thought that Yuuji and Sukuna went on a hiking date

Im sorry but if Yuuji was a girl (or Sukuna) this would be 100% considered romantic and atp im rolling with love

These two idiots will be the end of me i swear LOL

Hii anon!

You're not alone! That chapter lowkey read like a date and like Yuuji really wanted to change his mind before the end and also get to know him more, learn more about him while baring parts of himself he never bared to anyone else (like sheesh... that's pretty deep). He was hoping for an equal exchange (I bare out my heart, you bare yours) but Sukuna wasn't giving anything (even him recognizing hydrangeas got brushed off as Megumi's memory... why is he so afraid of admitting he likes flowers smh)

It's really funny because with them every single thing works somehow? Like there's a solid basis for every interpertation regarding their relationship. Do you see them as enemies? Do you see them as reluctant friends? Do you see them as soulmates? Do you see them as two parts of a single soul? Do you see them as each other's curse? As each other's salvation? Platonically or romantically? Do you see them as lovers? Do you see them as reincarnated uncle and nephew? Do you see them as ??? aka "I don't even know"? All of those are correct interpretations because the ground work to cover all those explanations exists. That's why they're like crack cocaine to me. They are many things in a single package. Mirrors. Foils. Twins. Equals. Opposites.

Objectively— it's true that Yuuji chased Sukuna around, trapped him (frantically) in a domain so he could parade him around his hometown and get them to hang around (while Sukuna, unnaturally, obliged). It's true that Sukuna, no matter how much he claims he doesn't care, cares about him in a weird way. It's clear because he acts a lot more differently with Yuuji than he does with the rest (plus him being the only human for Sukuna who's different than the rest... you already know what canon said lol. I'll get carried away). It's undeniable that there's something very special between them. That's canon! So seeing chapter 265 as awfully romantic isn't a bad interpretation. Their relationship is just... undefined. They're weird and tied to each other, in a love-hate relationship <3

Now personally, I see them in many different aspects. I love them as a ship, platonically, romantically, as die hard enemies or whatever. Their dynamic is the highlight of jjk for me because nobody does it like them. Their chemistry is off the charts and they match each other even if they're so different from each other. Idk I'm insane.

Im sorry but if Yuuji was a girl (or Sukuna) this would be 100% considered romantic and atp im rolling with love

Well, they are a bit iffy to ship to a lot of ppl because Yuuji's a minor (even tho he lived through hell and back at just fifteen and is more mature than actual adults in this manga) and because of reincarnated incest (uncle and nephew) which is invalid if you apply the logic of reincarnation– Yuuji doesn't have Sukuna's twin brother's soul, after all, (He's a completely different one. Biology doesn't equate soul sharing lol.) so it's not just about heteronomativity. After all, people have latched onto other m/m ships without problems but consider these two not shippable even if canon ties them together again and again and they embody good tropes and their relationship is 101 how you can write some damn good tragedies or redemption arcs (because their dynamic and them as characters just work so well together that it's insane).

As somebody who really doesn't care about all the problems this ship carries (because I see them as characters in a fictional world), all of that is irrelevant to me because I, like you, am rolling around in love and screaming into the void because Gege finally brought them together again. That was all that mattered to me! Now I'm excited for what's to come and am really curious how jjk will end.

They'll be the death of me as well. I'll miss them a lot once jjk ends :( Thank you for the ask!

[schmorpthe]

I see a lot of debate on this fandoms found family obsession and I want to add my two cents and headcannons that no one reaaaallllyyyyy cares about.

I think there's a balance of it that's good. For example, I think interpreting Maya and Phoenix as siblings is just as valid as best friends. Siblings can be best friends, my own sister is literally my best friend. It works with the dynamic of them both feeling like they're taking each other in after Mia's death, and I see their banter and can relate it to how my sister and I treat each other.

On the other hand, I don't like it when people give Phoenix and Apollo the father-son dynamic. I think there is a level of protectiveness from Phoenix, coming from seeing some of himself when he was younger in Apollo, as well as knowing he's Trucy's brother. But Apollo is an adult who looked up to Phoenix when he was younger, just his trust betrayed. At first it's a case of never meet your idols for Apollo. He also finds him irritating. I think there is a point where those two can get on good terms and Apollo forgives Phoenix, but they aren't family. It's a different type of love and care. They are mentor and mentee. Apollo will always find Phoenix annoying too, he just gets used to it and that irritation no longer is from a place of resentment, just Phoenix pushing his buttons.

As far as Athena goes, I haven't played much of DD yet because I started as the new trilogy got announced and decided to wait, but I think it's another case of Phoenix being protective but not quite in an adopted kid sense. He sees a young girl who needs some love, care, and guidance. You can love and care for someone a bit like a daughter without going all the way into they are my daughter territory. Trucy and Athena? Best friends. You know how so many of us have best friends that are basically like a sibling but we don't literally feel like siblings? That's them. They are an unstoppable duo.

As far as Edgeworth and Kay goes, I haven't finished AAI but I do see a little bit of adopted father-daughter dynamic, but not as intense. Kay is very self sufficient and made it through her teen years without her own dad or Edgeworth in her life. They are bonded over the shared trauma of losing a parent at the courthouse and Edgeworth is protective of her and his door is always open for her in the good and the bad. The paternal instinct is there and he would help her through anything. I feel like Kay called him Dad by accident one time and that did make them more like family, but apart from emotional times or jokes, he is Mr Edgeworth.

On the note of Edgeworth, I'm not keen on the adopting basically the entire prosecutor's office. I just don't feel like that's Edgeworth. I do think he softens yes. I do think he cares about his employees, but it's the vibe of a good boss being on professionally friendly terms. They can go to him for help, sometimes not work related. He can be a mentor. But he's their boss first and foremost, and in a more Edgeworth sense than Phoenix. More by the book. So yes he cares about them and can sometimes be protective, but not in a family way.

I do like Edgeworth eventually becoming Trucy's other Dad, but it takes time. For a long time he's Uncle Edgeworth and it takes him a long time to adjust to that even. Eventually he starts treating Trucy like a daughter, Phoenix pulls him up on it, he has a bit of a crisis. This is after the 7yg when Phoenix no longer has to live in the shell he did before getting his name cleared, therefore being able to officially be with Miles. Point being it's not immediate. He does immediately live Trucy but his instinct isn't familial for a while.

Honestly me explaining this hasn't completely gotten what's in my head across about I hope you get what I mean.

Also, at the end of the day everyone can have their own interpretation of the game. People will make it what they need it to be and that's okay. As long as what you are going with isn't illegal or straight up gross, go ahead. These are my own conclusions I've come to and it's these interpretations I look for in the media I consume, but whatever fuels your love for this series is what matters ✨

[thelunarfairy]

Thinking about how the type of relationship between Amane and Tsukasa is written and shown, like Aidairo they really like to play and, evidently, they do it on purpose: is it just something brotherly or is there something more? (Always interpreting the content they give us and never affirming [or denying] something)

It can also be said (and from what I have seen, it is something that does happen) that part of the jshk fandom rejects and ignores the theories that the interactions between the twins hide something beyond the fraternal because they're brothers and shouldn't be seen as such.

So,

Using the analogy of "If character A were the opposite gender of character B, then everyone would support their romantic relationship, but since A and B are the same gender that makes them just good friends and 'romantic' is just a thing." part of the community", one could deduce that if instead of brothers, Aidairo had chosen to be childhood friends, would the majority of the fandom more easily accept their interaction as something more than brotherly?

If they were just childhood friends who grew up together and their relationship is the same as it is currently in the manga, perhaps the entire fandom would say, and it wouldn't be something crazy or misplaced, that there's not just friendship between the two; perhaps a one-sided love, or a childhood love that ended badly. Maybe there would even be more posts of parallels between hananene and amane and tsukasa.

I would like to know your opinion ^ . ^

Just thoughts derived from insomnia and how I love to find three feet for the cat. And since I love to see the relationships of some characters in another light to see if it's just my interpretation or if there is something more.

P.D.: ilove your theories and analysis.

Do you want me to be completely honest?

I have been very cautious when talking about this subject precisely because it is such a taboo.

It's not about gender, but about being brothers, it's not something natural or accepted, it's strange to think or talk about it in a general context, most people have brothers and know that the love they feel for them is fraternal.

So this forbidden love causes a lot of strangeness, even if it is in fiction.

But yes, I'm happy that the fandom is finally seeing that there is SOMETHING STRANGE in their relationship, it's not just brotherly love, right?

It does not seem.

Tsukasa blushes when he is with Amane, when he talks about him. Hanako also blushes when he is around Tsukasa. The way Tsukasa touches Hanako, panels where they are almost kissing, Hanako under Tsukasa in a suggestive position while Tsukasa puts his hands on Hanako's lips. The way Hanako looks at Tsukasa, whether when he was pointing at the stars or when he ran to hug Amane.

There is more evidence of romance than of a healthy sibling relationship. The way Tsukasa didn't care about anything other than fulfilling Amane's wishes…

But what about Hanako, what must he have been like with Tsukasa?

The general idea that goes through my head sometimes is that the twins fell in love with each other. For Tsukasa, in a more innocent way, that kind of love that he still doesn't understand and doesn't know how to differentiate from brotherly love, everything for him is just love.

For Hanako…. this is more problematic, Hanako is not innocent, he knows what kind of love he feels for Tsukasa, and maybe because he realizes that it is wrong, forbidden, he just buried this feeling inside his chest. Even though he felt love and desires, he seemed to want to be the "perfect" brother, as we saw in the PP arc.

Most analyzes of JSHK symbolism point to a romantic love between them, and in some cases, unilateral. An innocent twin and a pervert, opposites but with similar desires.

I always wonder why Hanako has such a latent sexual desire, as if he was repressing an old desire, and when Kako revealed this in front of Tsukasa, Hanako blushed intensely!

He literally wanted to die again, so why was he so blushing because of Tsukasa? It doesn't make sense if we don't think about the desires he might feel about Tsukasa, and because it's something shameful and forbidden, he feels bad.

"I want Tsukasa, but he's my brother, we can't! It's wrong…."

He blushed more with Tsukasa than with Nene, even when Nene kissed him on the cheek, the moment he blushed the most with her, it didn't surpass the way he blushed with Tsukasa, even his HANDS were blushed.

Think with me, Hanako wants to stop time to do any kind of perverted things, who could he stop time with so he could do whatever he wanted without anyone knowing?

He already did perverted things with Nene without needing to stop time, he can even try to do perverted things with random people, since no one sees Hanako because he's a ghost

But he couldn't touch these people even if time stopped, because in order for him to touch them the other person must be supernatural, have a sixth sense or a bond with Hanako, as in the case of Nene, Kou.

So WHO was the person he was talking about?

Touching Tsukasa with time stopped… Would it lessen Amane's guilt if Tsukasa didn't know? Hmm…..

He likes to do things in secret because he doesn't like to feel guilty, he does things knowing it's wrong, and that's why he does them in secret.

This would also explain why he was so embarrassed when Tsukasa found out that he wants to do perverted things, it was as if Kako had revealed to Tsukasa that Amane had this type of desire towards him.

A forbidden desire that Amane hides, touching Tsukasa, but he can't, so would he wish time would stop so he could do what he wants, because he believed Tsukasa would never know, would it be the only way to alleviate his desire?

When the secret was revealed, Amane felt the guilt and shame for his desires strongly.

Should I also mention the sexual connotation between eating and being devoured? Hakubo and Sumire? It was explicitly a sexual scene between the two, and well, Hanako will probably have to devour Tsukasa in the same way, so sexual connotations continue here.

So, let's go to the scene of Hanako's intense crying when he sees Tsukasa kissing Nene.

Did he see the two people he is in love with kissing? And him being left out of it?

So, let's conclude, maybe this will all lead to a three-way relationship, if Nene accepts, of course. Hanako seems to be in love with both of them, and with the way things are going, we're going to see more of Amane showing love for Tsukasa.

See his look in these two situations:

It's the same look…. in one panel he tells Nene that he's happy because she was the first girl who said she liked him, in the other panel he's talking about Tsukasa.

Same tender look, same look, SAME LOOK

BUT

It's just ONE of the possibilities, maybe it's just another one of those things that some manga authors put in, you know, to tease and give false clues, maybe it's just "ah, that's just a joke, they're just very close brothers" and nothing happens.

Aidairo created a game in which there were twins in love with the same girl, they also had a suggestive relationship between them, but nothing explicitly romantic was shown between them.

This is what I think will happen in JSHK, there is all this evidence that their relationship is romantic, but in the end it won't be anything canon, just suggestive moments.

I don't think Aidairo will have enough courage to put a romantic relationship between canonical brothers???? I doubt it, I would challenge her if I could, because I definitely don't believe she would put that on! Because it would be very brave of her to do that!!

Neither the romantic relationship between the twins nor the relationship between three. Tsukasa will probably disappear, Nene will stay with Hanako for a while and Amane will disappear too, Nene (if she survives) will be sad for a while and then forget.

It will be?

Everything is still hazy, I'm wandering between the two paths, do they love each other romantically or is it just Aidairo's joke?

I have no idea the answer, because the evidence is getting stronger and harder to ignore….

Anyway, remembering that I don't ship the twins and I'm not saying that this is what will happen, it's just an analysis based on their behavior.

[meglyfer]

Do you have any info about your Lux variant? :O Her design is literally so gorgeous; I'd love to know more about her!

OKAY, SIT DOWN BECAUSE I HAVE MORE TO SAY ABOUT HER THAN I ORIGINALLY THOUGHT (I've been here for like an hour or more)

Her design was made by both me and my friend @xommed, and more than a variant we think of her as our interpretation of the character, which may or may not be very different from the original Lux because the only thing we have from he is fro when she was a kid, so we kinda made up all about her lol

She lives in the Omega Timeline with her parents Dream and Cross, and her half brother Palette. Her best friends are Shino (one of the afterdeath kids) and Drew/Sasha (Mine and Xomma's horrordust fankid), though she is friend with a whole lot of other characters and fankids (The Death kids, Gradient, Blue Print, PJ, etc)

Lux doesn't have a defined age, as sometimes we may draw her older or younger depending on the situation, but most of the time we draw her as a teen or young adult. If I had to be a bit more specific regarding her age, I'd say she's about a year older than Shino and Drew

She is a calm and kind person who won't hesitate to help people, but she's not afraid to say things just how they are or kick someone's ass for being an asshole. Her world view is similar to Dream's but a bit more realistic; she belives that anyone can be a good person if they try, but she knows that not everyone really wants to try to be good

In her friend group she is the voice of reason, but just because she's usually the smart one it doesn't mean that she doesn't have her stupid moments either. She can be very silly, but knows when to get serious. Lux usually likes going along with whatever dumb thing Sasha and Shino have going on, sometimes even she herself initiating said dumbery, but knows where the line lies for things

Regarding school, Lux is a decent enough student. She is a smart girl, but school is just so boring! She does just the bare minimum to pass, leaving homework undone and projects half baked. She may be the "voice of reason" in most occations, but that doesn't mean she follows her own advice when it comes to responsability

As noted in the previous paragraph, Lux can be a bit "rebelious". She doesn't take certain laws, rules and regulations seriously, either because she thinks they're dumb or can't make any sense of them (Example: doing grafities in the Omega Timeline, eating in class, elbows on the table while eating, etc). There has also been ocations in which she has skipped classess she finds easy (like English class to give an example) out of boredom or gotten out of her house when she wasn't allowed to (She always notifies Palette though, so at least someone knows where she is + she knows her brother is not gonna snitch, because she does the same for him)

Lux has a very good relationship with her family, but her parents can sometimes be a bit too overbearing for her, specially when they talk about responsability. With Palette everything is all good all the time. They constantly tease each other about certain things, but they know there's no intent to hurt behind their words. The siblings are always there for each other when they need them

Some fun facts about her: · She can change her "hair" however she wants. Most of the time she has it like how you see in my art, but if she wanted to she could change it so it lookes more like canon Lux, or make it longer, make it defy grabity, etc. The only thing she can't change about it is the colour · She's very intuitive when it comes to figuring out people's feelings and what to do about them. However, she has a bit of a rougher time when it comes to figuring out her own feelings · She is a self sacrificing type of person. She'd do and give anything, and I mean, ANYTHING for the people she loves · She's a lesbian (of course she is) · Her design was subconciously inspired by Hatsune Miku (we didn't realise how similar they were until later on)

Lastly, I'd like to share some sketches me and Xomma did while trying to figure out her design because, WHY NOT? (All pencil drawings were made by Xomma)

(Thank god we didn't go with this one ↓)

[melonteee]

yes! screaming about the Found Family stuff in One Piece! the Strawhats are found family but absolutely not a found NUCLEAR family. they're not parents and siblings! they are a secret third thing!

and like I guess I get some people ascribing them parental/sibling roles because when I first got into One Piece and saw fans saying they were Found Family, I assumed Luffy maybe thought of Zoro/Sanji/Usopp/Franky/etc as brothers. and maybe people can interpret them that way if they want to but I can't see them that way anymore at all because Luffy ALREADY has Found Family that are his brothers in Ace and Sabo. and I feel like Luffy has a VERY different relationship with those two than he has with the Strawhat crew. I just can't see Luffy thinking of his crew as his brothers/siblings when he's already got two people that he chose to be brothers with but hasn't made any mention of the crew being his "brothers"

(I think he called Momonosuke "little brother" once in Wano but I don't remember and I feel like that's also different idk)

It's like when you ship something like zosan because you think well MAYBE there could be something, and while it's not likely to be canon or anything, you can still interpret it as something else, right? When you do that, you sometimes get hit with some guys going "THEY'RE BROTHERS" ..like.

Even IF you don't ship Zoro and Sanji in any romantic sense, isn't just labelling them 'brothers' a bit shallow? Doesn't their relationship and connection in each other feel so much MORE than just the 'brother' label? Connections and relationships between men can be so much deeper than just 'brothers', slapping that onto two characters like Zoro and Sanji feels like it truly does not encompass how grand their connection is. Sometimes they act like brothers, but they're also friends, crewmates, rivals, partners, the wings. They fight for each other, they'd die for each other, they look out for each other - one day they're at each other's throat and the next they're moving in complete unison on the battlefield.

Does 'brother' really sum them up? Is that really all they are? Must you restrict them with such a label where you REFUSE to see anything MORE with them? Putting them in a box with the term 'brothers' even though they're so much more than that?

And of course, the same can be said for any of the Strawhats. They're 'nakama' for a reason, and the fact there's no English equivalent word for that is an irony in itself. They're not quite crewmates, they're not quite family, they're something so much more than that. They're nakama! Slapping nuclear family labels on such a thing and between such connections just never sits right with me.