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vidavalor · 8 months ago

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*dings the bell* … I’m back.

My Ukrainian friend made potato salad! It has cucumbers, carrots, onion, & canned green peas in it, and it’s absolutely delicious!

Sooo… can I ask what moment/scene you found the most devastating so far? I guess The KissTM is the most popular but I wonder if you’ve spotted something even more heartbreaking?

Hi @procrastiel Much love to you and your Ukrainian friend & please thank her again for me for the recipe as we made it and it was delicious. 💕Hope she's doing well. The KissTM is pretty heartbreaking for sure but I had a couple of moments that I found at least equally as heartbreaking...

The blues below the cut. TW: Depression.

What really got me in S2, in terms of heartbreaking stuff, was the focus on the less "showier" kinds of depression in Aziraphale and Gabriel. I'm not dismissing the amazing Crowley story the show has been telling but it tends to be more overt. The story focusing on depression lingering beneath different types of exteriors-- those who project themselves as being upbeat and/or fine-- was really well-executed and it had moments as devastating to me as the kiss.

The "but that's for professional conjurers only" scene and, in particular, the choices made in Aziraphale's response to Crowley's "my Nefertiti-fooling fellow" response is probably my favorite bit of acting in the series entirely to date. Michael Sheen broke me into little pieces with the way he conveyed a lifetime of pain, depression, anxiety and sleepless nights in Aziraphale's eyes on the "professional conjurers" bit and the smile...

...I love how you literally watch the pain of it all melt off his face at Crowley gently reassuring him and the smile that starts and then becomes just a beam of love he can't keep off his face. It's gorgeous.

It's actually what makes The Final 15 hurt even more, really, I think-- because you know that this is what Aziraphale needed. It's the same core set of problems but he needed 1941!Crowley and he got AlphaCentuari!Crowley because of where they both were at in the moment. It just makes 2.06 even more brutal because it shows you how they do understand each other and how right they are for each other if they could just stop being idiots lol.

I also actually think this is one of the most intimate scenes in the show. It shows a lot of guts on Aziraphale's part to be honest about how he's feeling and that's courage that Aziraphale has in general but was lacking a bit in the present in S2. He lets Crowley in here-- which is the theme of all of it and what he's not doing in S2 very much, especially in 2.06-- and we get a scene where Aziraphale is vulnerable and hurting and trusts Crowley with it and Crowley is there to help him as much as Aziraphale helps Crowley. It's very sweet and romantic but in a heartbreaking way because of how it shows how much pain Aziraphale is carrying around with him all the time. The lovely bit, though, is how it also shows how Crowley knows and is trusted with it. That it all takes place in largely the same space as the mess in 2.06? Gah. Devastating...

The other storyline that broke me was Gabriel. I know not everyone has the empathy for him that I do and he can be a total jerk, no doubt, but I thought he was the best example of the show bringing in other perspectives on life in Heaven/Hell in S2. We had angles like Furfur and Muriel illustrating that life for those not on Earth is lonely, isolating and boring and that many are yearning to live a bit more. Crowley and Aziraphale have not had it easy by any means but we are given characters whose perspective is that they're jealous that Crowley and Aziraphale have at least been able to be on Earth and have one another this whole time, which is more than a lot of other angels and demons can say, and that's fair. Expanding upon the glimpses of Gabriel that we saw in S1 and showing that, really, he's more complicated than we might have expected, was something I both loved and was a bit broken by.

Essentially, S2 shows that Gabriel is actually arguably the worst off character of all of them-- Crowley and Aziraphale included. That he really had no one until Beez is shown on his face so well-- Jon Hamm and Shelley Conn selling Gabriel's depression and how healthy this relationship is in almost no time at all really shows how great they both are. Look at this poor bastard, though, really...

He has the worst job of all of them. The Metatron is really in charge of Heaven-- Gabriel's the pretty face, forced to keep everything going or be killed for disobeying. S2 emphasizes how much he and Beez did what they did at the end of S1 basically at gunpoint-- it was kill or be killed and neither of them have the power to overthrow anything on their own. They have enough power, in the future, to probably help sway some things. Gabriel's always had enough power to make differences where he could and he used it to try to protect people. He can be a judgy jerk but he also fundamentally cares about the people around him and he's been drilled for so long into believing that upholding Heaven is his only purpose and only reason for existence that he's even still mulling over the ghosts of those thoughts when he has his whole gravity crisis in S2, even when he can't remember his name.

This is the bit that got me actually teary, though:

Imagine being thousands of years old and no one's ever given you a present. You don't have a birthday. You don't celebrate holidays. No one's ever protected you or been on your side or even just listened. You don't have any friends because everyone is afraid of you and you have to put up those pretensions to stay alive. The people you spend your entire life with are out for blood-- they'd sooner see you stripped of your sense of self and tossed through the ranks or to Hell and take your seat. Your life is one, long, never-ending meeting with your abusive dad and charming personalities like Michael and Uriel and Sandalphon. For six. thousand. years. Gabriel had never eaten anything before S2. He's never slept. Imagine six thousand years of being the Senior VP of Climb Every Bullshit Mountain without ever having a lunch break or ever going home. It's kind of no wonder that Gabriel spent half of S2 taking a nap-- he's exhausted.

He's not from anywhere. He doesn't even have a desk. Is it any wonder that this poor bastard was already rebelling a bit in S1? That he didn't totally get Earth but he was sneaking down there to get tailored suits made just so he could have something that is his own and taking himself for jogs in the park so he could get away from everyone for awhile? He's vain, sure, yes, but really because his looks are all he has that actually belong to him. It's why Beez gives him a pass on the statue-- because they know that this poor guy doesn't have anybody but them. The humans immortalize him in marble like he's a God and everyone in Heaven and Hell is terrified of him-- and he's been terrified of trying to be real with others because who is he going to trust who won't stab him in the back?

All Gabriel has that is his own are his clothes and Heaven even takes that, too. Beez is the first person who has ever seen Gabriel as a person. Is it any wonder why Gabriel likes and goes to Aziraphale for help? He knows that Aziraphale is the only angel who is both kind and sorta sees him there sometimes. He's the only one who ever seems to consider that Gabriel might exist in there as more than just The Supreme Archangel.

Gabriel's memory loss is actually very much akin to the real world occurrence of retrograde amnesia, which can and does actually happen to people who have undergone traumatic events. (It doesn't happen all the time but it's also not as rare as you'd think it might be.) The mind shuts down in such a way as to intentionally forget everything related to the trauma in order to protect itself and that can sometimes result in a loss of identity. The forgetting, though, also frees Gabriel because when he can no longer recall the fascist system of Heaven that has been harming him for so long, the actual self that he's been repressing and hiding shows up.

I see a lot of people talk about Jim as if he's a separate entity from Gabriel and he's really not-- he's Gabriel without the self-protective airs that Gabriel puts on. Jim is really not much different from glasses-free Crowley-- they have the same approach to self-preservation. It turns out, when he's free from the toxic masculinity hellscape that is Heaven, Gabriel likes hot chocolate and tiny dinners and bookselling and is emotionally available and mindfully curious about everything. He's a lot of fun and he cares about his friends and is grateful to have them. He's still a snarky bitch sometimes but so is Crowley lol so... That Gabriel was so miserable before, though, I thought was really pretty heartbreaking.

Now that I've depressed you, we'll leave on the sweeter note of Gabriel torturing some humans to romance Beez...

#ineffable husbands #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #good omens 2 #aziracrow #good omens meta #the archangel fucking gabriel #jimbriel #lord beezlebub #ineffable bureaucracy

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fanaticsnail · 7 months ago

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Cora dies and reader lives: Angsty, tragic, a wonderful exploration of grief and missed opportunities

Cora lives and reader dies: An interesting writing challenge to have what is usually the perspective character to be gone, still a nice way to explore the themes mentioned above

Cora dies and reader dies: Ough. "The longing, the yearning, "I'll love you in every universe life", "till death do we part", "wherever you go, I go", turn up the angst meter.

All of these would be cool angsty fics. BUT:

Cora lives and reader lives: Fucking hilarious. Like obviously there's the trauma, but afterwards, you just know those two would be the most embarrassing coolest, most supportive parents to Law, especially in his pirate career. The absolute epitome of "You're doing amazing sweetie".

(Plus imagine the comedy of a new crew member bursting into Law's office and being like "There's intruders, I saw them in the kitchen" and Law's just like "......you mean....my parents?")

Okay okay okay okay.

Yes, though. All of those are an absolute yes 😭😭😭 Art link

The way I have a need to write each of those scenarios. I obviously have a preference (happily ever after, of course). I have semi-written a plot with my "Donquixote Rosinante's Journey with Modern Slang" dialogue for my preference of the "how".

It would be amazing to explore this with a "they both died" becoming a "they both live" and are now tasked with 'parenting' an adult son that's the same age (or older) than them. Could you imagine how hilarious that would be?

Them both trying so, so hard to relate to their boy while giving him space enough to be his own man.

Rosi: "Oh, Honey! I'm so proud of you. Look how big you've grown, Law! You're just a precious little guy. You've got a beard! Look at how strong you are! And you've still got that hat- holy SHIT IS THAT A BEAR??"

You: "Give our boy some space! Let him breathe, mi Corazon. Admire him from afar- OH FUCK IT IS A BEAR!!"

Bepo: "Uhh... Hi Mister Rosinante, and- uhh... Hi, um-."

Law: "-My mother. She's my mother. They're back. They're both back."

I have a need 🤌. This is a proper, feral need.

#one piece #x reader #trafalgar law #Donquixote Rosinante #op law #rosinante x reader #Donquixote corazon #corazon x reader #ask snail #snail answers #corazon lives au

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stuckysbike · 1 year ago

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The Queen Who Married Two Kings 4

Pairing: Bucky x Reader x Steve (pre-established Stucky)

Arranged Marriage AU, Fantasy AU, Royalty AU

Rating/Warnings: Over 18's only, there will be dark themes and explicit sexual situations. Reader is Stark born, and they're shitty to her. Sex, m/f and m/m, p in v, oral (male and female receiving). I think that’s all.

I’ve tried not to describe reader at all so you can be whomever you want.

Summary: Betrothed to two Kings, you travel with them to their home where you learn more than you ever thought you would. But how are you to cope with two husbands who want to start a family and secure their place in the world?

Chapter Summary: You find yourself in your new home with plenty to explore.

Chapter 3

You were officially lost.

Everything looked the same; strong stone walls encased wide corridors and heavy tapestries covered the walls telling stories of great battles and brave heroes of the past.

You followed Steve through the castle moving further back, and eventually the corridors narrowed. Steve kept a strong arm around your waist and was careful not to overwhelm you with information, knowing how tired you were from your arduous journey here.

"Our private rooms are in the tower at the back of the castle. It was built into the rocks by my ancestors, and it's pretty special," Steve said as he guided you to a corridor then up a set of shallow stone steps. A pair of heavy oak doors greeted you at the top and Steve opened them himself, you noticed no guards or footmen stood guard, and then Steve was guiding you into the room.

Warm couches were placed around a stone fireplace and a welcoming fire roared in the grate. A black kettle sat on the hearth. The rug in front of the fire looked thick and you imagined curling your toes into it. Bookcases lined one wall and thick drapes covered windows and the door to the balcony Steve explained. A further set of doors led to the bedroom, and you gasped at the sight of the huge bed in the middle of the room piled with thick blankets and soft pillows.

“The bed is massive,” you gasped, and Steve chuckled softly.

“Well Buck and I like our space,” he said nudging you gently.

"There's a dressing room in there, we'll get your things unpacked soon, but let’s go this way," Steve said guiding you to another door. You stepped into a dark corridor of stone. Steve’s broad shoulders filled the space behind you and at his urging you followed the path to what was a beautiful cavern. It was warm but not stifling, and steam curled up from several pools dotted around the cave. Long benches were carved into the walls and shelves held jars and bottles of what looked like creams and lotions. Fluffy towels and robes were piled high.

"Steve," you breathed looking around the room. "This is amazing."

"It's all natural, it's one of our favourite places," Steve admitted. "May I help you undress?"

You looked down at your heavy gown and realised that it had been days since you were free of the heavy materials.

Several days ago, you would have been embarrassed but now you just wanted to sink into the inviting water and let it wash away your old life. You nodded, and Steve immediately went about removing the layers of clothes.

"I'm missing the performance," you heard Bucky say as he entered the room. He had lost most of his armour and was just in his undershirt and pants. He pressed a kiss to your lips and stroked a lock of hair behind your ear. "What do you think?"

"This is amazing," you whispered looking around. Steve chuckled behind you as he worked the tassels that kept your dress closed.

By the time you were down to your linen shift your cheeks were blushing. Both men were cautious and gentle as they helped it over your head and then you stood naked. Moments later they were naked too and then sure hands and thick arms were guiding you towards one of the pools.

It was strange being naked with both men. You expected to feel uncomfortable, you expected their eyes to roam your flesh but instead they only allowed themselves quick glances just as you did. You were their focus, not your body.

The water was warmer than you expected. Steve got in first and lifted you easily, his warm calloused hands gripping your waist. He smiled at your delighted sigh as he guided you deeper into the water until your breasts were covered.

You felt safe with both, you felt heard even though you had barely spoke. They were careful to ensure your comfort was priority, their hands stayed above the water brushing shoulders and cheeks.

“Here,” Steve nodded to the edge of the pool, “you can sit back.”

You did, and it was bliss. It was like the stone had been made for you, smoothed, and curved into your shape. You sank in and relaxed, letting the water take your weight.

“We have a few places we like to retreat to, and this is one of them,” Bucky said softly as he reached for your hand. “After a long journey, or even a long day, this is the perfect place to hide.”

“Our kingdom is keen to meet you, but Bruce our Chancellor has insisted we take a rest, a three-day honeymoon if you will. After that there will be some public appearances the three of us will need to make and you’ll need to meet with your council.”

“Stevie,” Bucky squeezed his bicep.

Steve frowned between you and Bucky, and then he smiled, a soft curve of the lips. “I’m sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself,” Steve said. “This should be about us.”

“Would you like a drink?” Bucky asked.

You nodded and soon you were sipping sparkling wine from a dainty goblet. “Now,” Steve said, “tell me about the woman we married?”

You hesitated, what was there to tell? You thought about your life and how ill prepared you were for the world, how you could barely ride a horse. Reading, letter writing, some hand crafts and art were really all you knew. The women who had surrounded you were demure, with a few racy older ladies who made it their duty to ensure they explained how to please men in bed.

You knew all about pregnancy and childbirth, raising children and ensuring a husband’s emotional needs were met, but other than that you didn't know. A blank canvas on your art easel came to mind, and you took a deep breath. "There's not much to tell, I think you both know everything there is to know already."

Steve and Bucky shared a look and then Steve leaned back and spread his arms along the stone lip of the pool, his fingers brushed your shoulder. "Okay, new question. Tell us what you want?"

"Oh, that's easy, I want to get to know everything there is to know about my new home, I want to learn to ride and study the land, what crops do you grow, what do you mine, what are the people like, your histories, your folk tales, I want to know it all!" You gushed.

Steve laughed, a deep booming noise that startled you. Bucky was chuckling too, and their mirth made you smile right along with them.

Steve reached for you, his strong hands lifting your legs into his lap. He rubbed your feet and calves then worked his way up to your aching thighs. Bucky was behind you his strong hands working your shoulders.

“I can barely wait to wash you after our first battle together," Bucky muttered leaning forward to kiss your cheek. Steve copied him, leaning towards your lips with his own. It was chaste, a brush of the lips together but you could feel the passion he was holding back, could almost see the tension in his body as something shifted in the air between you. Steve's hands caressed over your soft hips, gripped your waist, and trailed up your body to cup your breasts.

"Imagine it Buck, covered in blood, her chest heaving with adrenalin, her beautiful lips parted, and eyes lost to the passion," Steve said.

You clenched your thighs together, you'd never thought of that before, but now you wanted nothing more than to be that woman Steve pictured.

"Hm, our Goddess," Bucky muttered, his lips kissing down your neck and then he nipped your shoulder with sharp teeth. You yelped in surprise and Steve and Bucky shared another playful look.

"Why don't we finish up here and go to bed, what do you say sweet thing?" Steve's fingers shifted your hair, pushing your curls behind your ears.

"That would be nice," you said, suddenly nervous. Your chest tightened as Steve lifted you easily from the water, following close behind you. He wrapped a robe around you and rubbed your arms and chest to help you dry off.

“Steve,” you said, and he turned to look at you. “I have nothing but this.” You said looking at your sad worn wedding dress in a heap on the ground.

“I wouldn’t worry about that. You won’t need clothes for a few days, and then we’ll get you plenty to keep the cold off your back,” Steve's voice was rough as he pulled you against his and kissed your mouth, letting his tongue lick along your bottom lip. He pulled away and led you back into the main room.

Candles flickered on the dresser, and there were lamps next to the bed, the glow low in the room. A fire crackled merrily in the hearth and the bed was already turned down, pillows and blankets spread out and awaiting bodies to warm them. You held Steve's hand, following him as he moved around the room comfortable in his body.

Steve had a beautiful body; his back was long and muscled and the globes of his ass were round and firm. His thighs were thick, and his legs strong. His shoulders were broad with a dusting of light freckles. Bucky was more tanned, and while shorter than Steve, but only slightly, he was still broad and thick. You wondered how lovemaking would work, how they would take you?

It was Bucky whose hands slid around your waist; his lips pressed into your cheek. His hands opened your robe and his rough fingers brushed down your soft skin, still warm from the pool of water you'd left. The robe fell to your feet in a puddle and Bucky explored you with the tips of his fingers, his thumbs grazing your nipples. He cupped your mound softly and used a finger to part your lips. You gasped and your eyes fell closed at this foreign sensation on your body. Bucky took advantage of your open mouth to press the fingers of his free hand in.

"Suck," he ordered, and you did, swirling your tongue around him and wondering where this knowledge had come from. Between your legs Bucky's other hand was busy parting your folds and gathering your natural slick. "Open your eyes."

You did, gasping, and you watched as Steve stood across from you, his body coiled like he was ready to pounce.

Bucky drew his hand from between your legs, and you felt your cheeks flush at the sight of your natural slick coating his fingers. To your surprise have brought them to his mouth, and then he moaned behind you. The noise made you gasp, and Steve huffed out a soft breath. "King Steven," Bucky's voice was thick with arousal and you swallowed, your cunt clenching around nothing at his tone, "come over here and taste your Queen."

It was like a chain was snapped. Steve lurched forward and took Bucky's fingers into his mouth. He moaned, his eyes rolling back in his head as he licked the digits clean and then he was kissing you. You tasted yourself on his tongue but before you could process, he had reached around you for Bucky. They crushed you between them as they kissed, and then as one you began to move towards the bed. Steve fell back onto it and scrambled into the centre; his lust blown pupils nearly black.

Bucky chuckled, "he's not so royal when he's horny," Bucky confided in your ear as he gripped your waist and lifted you onto the bed. You gasped and lurched forward, your hands landing on either side of Steve's hips. His cock was in front of your face, long and red and glistening at the tip and his heavy sac hung low between his legs. Bucky nudged you further and you moved so your legs were on either side of his hips. Bucky's body pressed flush against yours and he lifted you back onto his lap, easily spreading your legs over his thick thighs. You were completely exposed to Steve, and he watched with interest as Bucky resumed his exploration of your pussy.

One long finger danced over your hole, and you tensed but Bucky hushed you, kissing your neck and using his thumb to move upwards. You wondered what he was doing until you gasped out loud when he touched something. "Like that?"

"Yes, yes yes! Do it again!" You demanded. Bucky chuckled and did as you asked, his thumb caressing the side of your sensitive bundle of nerves.

"Like that?" He asked and your pussy gripped at the finger easing out of your channel. You had no idea when he slid his fingers in, you'd barely noticed anything but the good work his thumb was doing.

"Yes," you sighed as Bucky added another finger, spreading you wide and exploring your channel, and then he curled his fingers. You cried out and Bucky grunted in satisfaction, repeating the motion until you were writhing in his lap as you chased his hand. Your first orgasm was an explosion of light in your gut, and you twisted away from him whilst holding his hand against your body. You didn't know what you wanted, all you knew was that you wanted that to happen again and again.

"There she is," Bucky said as he moved your body forward and soon you were kneeling over Steve's weeping cock. "Take it easy now, I stretched you out, but he'll still be a snug fit okay darling," Bucky's hands rested on your hips.

It was a stretch, and whilst there was a light sting that went away after a few moments it wasn't the pain you had been led to expect. "Can I move?"

Steve chuckled and leaned forward, pressing his lips to yours. His tongue followed in a filthy path as he kissed you deep. "You can do whatever you want sweet thing."

You bet your lip, lifted your hips, and eased them back down. Steve groaned and his hands gripped your thighs, but he didn't move other ways.

It took a few moments, but you got an easy rhythm going that made you want to close yourself around Steve. Steve in turn was stroking your thighs, his thumbs tracing little patterns, the tickling sensation adding to your pleasure.

"So good, sweet thing, such a good girl for us, look Stevie, look at our girl, look how she's taking you and this is only her first time..." Bucky babbled behind you, his mouth never stopping as he praised you and caressed you, one hand gripping your breast, thumb flicking your nipple. His other hand was still between your legs, his fingers grazing over your clit as your rhythm increased.

"Buck," Steve groaned. "Buck I'm close."

"S'ok baby, you cum," Bucky said. His hand left your breast and you felt it brush against the meat of your ass as he moved, and Steve cried out suddenly, his hips moving up, jostling you from your place. His cock grazed your sweet spot, and you cried out, hands going to his shoulders, and then you were on your back, Steve hovering over you as he pumped into your body. His mouth latched to yours and he swallowed your moans and whines as you both spasmed together, Steve coming inside you.

You lay, your breasts heaving, as you tried to catch your breath. Steve kissed you then sat back, looking at the mess between your thighs. His cock slipped from your used and sensitive pussy, and you gasped at the sensation. You heard a groan from Bucky and you both turned your attention to him. He was tugging his cock roughly and to your surprise Steve batted his hands away and leaned down to suck Bucky into his mouth. Bucky's hips jerked and Steve gagged and then it was over, Bucky slumping onto the bed next to you.

"Hey sweet thing," he grinned, and you flushed, shy despite all you had shared with them.

"Hello," you smiled. Bucky pressed his lips to your nose, lips, and chin and then he got up, pecking Steve's lips as he went. A few moments later they were cleaning you carefully with damp rags and then you were being tucked into the middle of the bed between them.

_____________________

A rattling noise woke you. You rubbed at your eyes and tried to sit up but a heavy arm across your body held you down.

It was Steve, his face tucked into your neck, his soft snores warming your heart. On the other side of you the bed was warm but empty, and then you heard that noise again. You stretched your neck and caught sight of a naked Bucky making his way across the room.

"What are you doing awake?" He asked you as he settled under the blankets and kissed your forehead.

"What's that noise?" You asked looking around.

"A storm has lifted, it's the wind," Bucky explained as he stroked your cheek with his thumb. "You are truly beautiful."

You blushed, not used to complements sounding so genuine. Bucky's fingers found the back of your neck and much like in the water earlier he started to work into the knots in your neck. You moaned, feeling the muscle loosen as he worked you. Behind you Steve mumbled something and rolled over, smacking his lips. The action made you and Bucky share a chuckle.

"What's going to happen?" You asked. You were naive and you knew it, you felt useless, had done for most of your life, but you knew something wasn't right, something was about to happen that would impact your lives.

"I don't know," Bucky said. "But I do know that you're home now and this is your place, between us. You're never getting away from us doll."

You snuggled against his broad shoulder, his skin was warm to the touch, and you rubbed your cheek against him. Bucky kissed your hair and pulled you into his side where after a few moments you drifted off to sleep.

_____________________

You woke early with the first daylight.

The bed was still warm, but you were alone. You looked around and spotted Steve crouching by the fire.

You watched him carefully and when he noticed you, he grinned and stood up. You admired his long legs and broad shoulders that met at his almost delicate narrow waist as he walked towards the bed.

“Morning sweetheart,” he murmured pressing his lips to yours. He slid beneath the blankets and pulled you into his arms.

“Where’s Bucky?” You asked as you snuggled close, pressing your nose into his neck and letting your eyes fall closed.

“Hungry,” Steve answered. “He went off in search of food.”

You nodded and stretched flipping onto your back, spreading your toes, and beaming up at the ceiling. “If I were at home I’d have been chased from my bed by now.”

“We’re not so strict here,” Steve said. “But normally we’d be up and chasing the morning, catching up on what’s been happening, doing chores.”

“Why aren’t you?” You asked turning to him. His hair was mussed but he looked content, soft almost as he turned to look back at you.

“It’s our honeymoon,” Steve grinned as he rolled on top of you. “May I kiss you?”

You nodded, your eyes searching his. His face was so close you could see flecks of green in his eyes. When he came closer you let your eyes fall closed, your lips pressing to his. Steve was gentle and took his time exploring your mouth.

Here in bed, caged under his powerful body with his sculpted arms either side of your head you felt safe and cherished. His weight was comfortable, and you stroked your fingers over his smooth neck, toying with the fine hairs there. Steve’s eyes softened as he watched you. “What?” You asked, your voice barley above a whisper.

“Just you Sweet Thing,” he dipped his nose against yours, brushing them together. You giggled at the sensation only to be interrupted by the sound of the door opening.

“So, this is what you get up to as soon as I’m out of the room?” Bucky teased. He held a massive tray of food and your tummy growled at the sight. Steve rolled away and you sat up eager to see what delights Bucky had in store, but his bulging arms distracted you, and you counted yourself lucky at how beautifully put together these two men were. The three of you spent the rest of the morning eating and talking without leaving the bed.

_____________________

The breeze ruffled your hair as you stood outside looking across the bay.

Below you the city sprawled on a hillside, looping around the bottom of the hill. High walls protected the city with hefty wooden gates keeping danger at bay. Wooden ships bobbed in the bay protecting the city from the seas. Across the water farms coated the hillsides, with sheep and goats grazing the rougher areas where the flat ground was kept for crops.

You pulled your shawl tighter around your shoulders and nestled your cheek into the soft material. This was your home now, your land. You belonged here, you were part of it, and you would live off it and you would protect it, with your life you would protect it. That was your duty now, that was your responsibility.

You smiled and turned back to the bedroom. Steve lounged on the bed, his ankles crossed as he listened to Bucky telling some story or other. When Steve saw you, his eyes softened and Bucky followed his husbands gaze, his eyes crinkling when he saw you. He patted the spot on the bed next to him and you slipped the door closed and hurried to them, dropping onto the bed between them. You snuggled against Steve and glanced up at Bucky as he resumed his story.

The fire crackled and Bucky’s warm hand cupped your ankle as he ran his thumb over your skin. You spent the evening like that, getting to know these men and this country that you now called home. You wondered, as you listened, what the future held for all of you.

#Q2K #bucky barnes x reader #stucky x reader #steve rogers x reader

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ashs-nerd-den · 3 months ago

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Studyblr prompt Week 1 - My Study space

I usually study either my desk or by bed, but nobody is seeing my bed on here, and I did up my desk at the start of the summer to make it ADHD friendly, which I have been dying to show off, so this is the perfect opportunity to do so.

The peg board is not only aesthetically pleasing, it is an ADHD saviour. The clear storage means that I can actually see stuff so that way I dont forget that they exist. The pretty notebooks add the aesthetic which draws me in to study and makes it seem more appealing to my brain.

The temporary dumping box is where I throw things when I don't have the energy to put them away because it prevents mess and when I do have the energy, I don't have to pick everything up around the room because they're all in 1 spot.

A lot of people put up pictures of their goals, like their dream university, or the exam results that they want. I put up pictures of my grandparents (that's what's behind the hearts). If I turn out even 1% as amazing as any of them, I will die happy, because they are the most incredible people ever. I'm considering shuffling things around a bit so I can put up a picture of one of my aunties because she is beyond amazing and she is currently doing her masters in psychology (the field I want to go into) while raising her kids and being a carer. I don't use Pinterest for inspiration, my family is more than inspirational enough for me. I could go on for hours about how extraordinary each of them are, but I'll save yous the time.

The water bottle hole was probably for a pen holder, but neither of my pen mugs fit and it gives me a designated place to put my drink so that I don't forget about it, which is good because last time I checked humans need water and not just lucozade and coffee.

There are even more highlighters in the drawer because they are one of my special interests and I love them (I have more in my school pencil case and a full pencil case of highlighters)

Everything is visible with no covering or lids because I will forget that they exist. Adhd object impermance is a BIG thing in my house, and when I say big, I mean it.

The tumb tacs and paper clips are once again part of a stationary special interest that I have had since I was around 8

The different shaped sticky strips and sticky speech bubbles are for annotating things in a way that gets my brain to actually want to look at it. You might be recognising a recurring theme here. If it isn't right infront of me and looks fun, my brain doesn't cooperate.

The day planner is because I want to try to work out a way to do bullet journaling that works for ADHD. Like the way that it was originally created for. But all of the resources are aimed at neurotypicals and nobody can find resources on how to us it for ADHD anymore, even though that was the whole purpose of them (this is not hate towards any neurotypicals that use them, this is hatred of the fact that so many of our resources get shared to neurotypicals and then we lose access to them)

This was longer and more rambly than intended, but I'm both mentally and physically exhausted so I'll probably edit this tomorrow because once it goes into the drafts, it never comes out.

#adhd study tips #adhd studyblr #adhd study #ash’s originals #studyblr community #study space

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pirrusstuff · 3 months ago

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I wish you would write something...where Buck and Eddie are already together, but there's a big 118 get together, and they have a few drinks (not too many!) and they somehow reveal the relationship (they hadn't before for some reason)

Oooh i really like this idea!

They kiss, it's a small one, just pressing their lips.

"Gross" Christopher says in the back seat.

" Let's go" Buck says.

They're leaving Christopher at Pepa's place, he's going to have a sleepover while Buck and Eddie go out with the 118 to a new bar near the station.

" Are you going to be okay kid?" Eddie asks while Buck gets Christopher's stuff.

" Yeah, Samara has a new game and I really want to play it! also Santiago and I want to make an iron farm in our minecraft world" He loves spending time with his cousins.

" Have fun buddy! don't stay up too late" Buck says to him

They finally got together two weeks ago, it's really new but both of them know this is going to be forever.

Pretending not to be together at work is really hard, years of secretly wanting each other have made it very difficult for them to spend more than half an hour without some kind of display of affection.

" Are you ready?" Buck asks.

" I'm going to try my best" Eddie says.

They want to have just a little bit more of time for themselves, they love the 118 but both of them know they're going to tease them them a lot, also they're going to have to deal with HR.

Everything it's fine, they're all joking, eating and maybe they have been drinking a little bit too much.

Just enough to be a little more talkative and careless.

" Okay let's talk about dates" Chimney says, he's also just a little bit drunk " What would be a good date? Maddie and I want to try new things"

" Me and Athena went to an art class once, they taught us how to paint with watercolors, my painting was kinda funny" Bobby said with a little smile, leaning towards Athena.

" Well me and Hen went to a space themed bar once, it was awesome, the drinks were really interesting"

Buck's face lit up and he said " Me and Eddie went to a pottery class a week ago, it was amazing, we had some wine and we made two cups, mine was prettier, right babe?"

Everyone looked at them, Eddie was looking at him with heart eyes while Buvk didn't realized the impact of what he just said.

" You went on a date?!"

I wish you would write a fic where...

#eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie #911 show #the 118 #pirru writes

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heteromerous-rhyming · 10 months ago

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just speculation, and after this i swear i'm going to write what i did appreciate in the show, but.

to me it kinda feels like riordan cast these three kids and went, these three children, they are my trio. and he should have! they're amazing - they're cast Very Well.

but then it feels like riordan assumed that because they already embodies the characters to him, that he didn't need to do characterbuilding in the actual fucking script. i get the feeling that the writers and showrunners are constantly both overestimating and underestimating walker leah and aryan. the scene with thalia? very much felt exposition dump. leah did what she could with she was a hero (and she kills her emotional moments, the parts that show annabeth's softness), but the themes came before the characters here and that for me feels a little unexcusable. annabeth is smart, we all know that, so riordan constantly forgets to show us that annabeth is smart. percy explains to annabeth how the lotus is in the air not the food. like HOW IS IT PERCY THAT FIGURES IT OUT BEFORE ANNABETH?

i think maybe grover/aryan got the best treatment out of them because of his scene with ares and the scene with the animals on the street, but even then the "betrayal" at the beginning felt slightly off. because percy never fully finished reacting to it (or if he did i don't remember which itself is not great)

which gets to another part of the writing / directing that's really getting to me. which is the relationships between characters, and how that's undermined by how short the scenes at the beginning of the show are. because more than half of the dialogue in the first two episodes ends up as (slightly unnatural or at least not in character exposition) and because the scenes (that is, however long a section before they cut to black and setting changes) are all wildly short (at least to me) there's no time for the characters to breathe. there are hardly any beats or pauses or just moments of breathing in a character's emotion or reaction.

going back to thalia's explanation, the scene ends after the exposition. going back further to luke showing percy around? all exposition. the subtle character moments are only in the scenes without dialogue and for a brief second at luke's introduction. there's no long scenes (from what i experienced) in the downtime, in the relatively quieter moments. only long scene i can think of was the fight with the minotaur.

even later, the scenes that are emotional and long? sally and poseidon. they don't allow grover's self-recrimination to breathe. they don't allow the panic after almost getting pulled into the Pit to breathe. the scene cuts, the emotion is squashed, and the next scene is more action, more traveling, more gods.

i think that this is partly why clarisse made such a big impression on me, because by design she can't be a part of the exposition. she's actively antagonistic towards percy, half of her scenes are some sort of action, and so the little characterization that we get of her (this time little is justified bc she's a side character) works really really effectively. you clock her character, her motivations immediately.

the scenes are getting longer. i think that this specific critique is one that will get fixed as the writers get used to the visual medium. but the rest? i really really hope that the writers realize that the characters just. need more space. i hope they trust their actors to play out these emotional scenes and i hope they give them more emotional scenes, more banter, more silly moments.

#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo tv show #pjo show crit #please #you cast so amazingly #so why ... why don't you give them more to work with #rr crit #.

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radishaur · 2 months ago

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𖦹 relationship dynamics 𖦹

Warnings: vague mentions of Sabaody & Marineford for Luffy and Thriller Bark for Zoro but nothing actually gets spoiled Genre: fluff/character study Characters: Luffy, Zoro, & Law Summary: A deep dive into the unique reader personality and relationship dynamic between each one and their respective one piece man. Author's Note: This has been in the works for a while so hopefully this adds some clarity to the way I view each reader and their relationship with their man! Hopefully, it points out some of the larger themes I try to keep between each part. My aim was to address my own personal breakdowns of each One Piece guy, the reader, and their dynamic, so please enjoy! masterlist

For this relationship, I think that it runs on freedom. Luffy is driven by nothing more than his own whims and determinations, which includes his want to have an amazing adventure. Having a partner who not only shares that journey with him but enjoys it, even seeks it out themselves, would make all the difference.

Luffy's reader in this series is someone with a strong sense of self. I imagine they have a goal, much like the rest of the Strawhats, but they're also ok with taking the long road. They know what they want, but they're here for the adventure and that's half of the fun. They engage in Luffy's silly antics and they always laugh at his jokes. How could you not, when he's laughing at them himself? They're strong, but they also place complete faith in Luffy's ability to protect, which I think is another huge thing for him. He's so intent on making sure nothing like Sabaody or Marineford ever happens again so having a partner that believes wholeheartedly in his ability to do that would mean a lot to him.

Contrary to popular belief, I don't think Luffy can never sit still although I think normally he would always rather be doing something. But, I think the quiet moments of solitude the two spend together and the intimate understanding they have of each others more hidden whims or secrets thrives in those moments. They can fully be themselves with no worry of judgment or awkwardness. Lastly, I think that the reader realizes their feelings first but Luffy certainly makes up for lost time with his enthusiasm.

This is a relationship built on a shared joy for life and its adventures, on complete understanding and support, and that's why it works.

A relationship with Zoro is one that functions on stability and routine. Zoro is resolutely dedicated to his goal and he wouldn't want a partner that would get in his way. This reader is someone who feels the same way about their goal, and their shared passion and dedication to their goals is what I imagine brings them together.

The reader in this story has a really forward personality. Zoro is a no-nonsense person, he doesn't play games when it comes to his words or actions, so he would need a partner who respects that and acts the same. That being said, the reader loves to tease him, sometimes on purpose and sometimes not. You can't really blame them with how flustered he gets. At the end of the day though, there's an implicit trust in their bond that I think their relationship is built on. Like captain like first mate, I think Zoro has a huge thing for protection. He views his role as the protector of not only his dream but his captain and the crew's, and we see this in Thriller Bark really clearly, so for Zoro to let his guard down is a big deal.

Scars on the back are a swordsman's shame and he is constantly looking behind him for any sign of trouble. Maybe he gets lost along the way, but he prides himself on protecting so for him to let you into his space, to let you touch him in his most vulnerable spaces, to share his time relaxing, it means everything. You both support each other's ambitions and dreams, but you also support each other's care and well-being. Lastly, I think that Zoro falls first but his denial is strong. At first, because he thinks it would be a distraction for his own goal and then, once he gets over that, because he thinks it would be a distraction from yours. Finally, he gets sick a tired of it playing tricks with his head and decides to come out with it, which is the best decision he's ever made.

This relationship is built on a deep respect of each others dreams and their drives to get there, but also on their constant care for one another and their wellbeing.

For almost all of these relationships, I think the reader's ability to really see their respective partner is what makes the relationship but I think for Law especially this is true. Law puts up a mask of indifference that is second to none, so a reader who can see past it, into the truth of who Law really is, is absolutely essential for this relationship.

The reader in this series is patient, which is a must when it comes to Law. They have their goals and dreams, but they're content to go on this journey and explore. They don't want to be a burden, mostly because they see how much weight Law takes up for himself. They're not necessarily quiet, but they're observant, picking up on the smaller details. They want to relieve some of that weight, make sure that everybody is having a good time, and that's especially true when it comes to Law. Law is stubborn and he doesn't let people in easily, so this reader is open for every way that he can't be. They speak their mind, they express their affection and admiration openly, because they can and they want to.

Law is the epitome of actions that speak louder than words. Verbal praise is scarce and he rarely ever says how he actually feels, but it is glaringly obvious in the way he acts. His choices are deliberate, his actions always filled with intent. He gets flustered easily by the way the reader so casually speaks their mind, but he enjoys it. There's no mind games there, no trick or betrayal lurking around the corner. It lets his mind relax for once and I think that really strengthens the relationship. Whether he wants it to be true or not, and trust me when I say that in the beginning he really didn't want it to be true, the reader relaxes him. He can be himself. Reader has seen him at his worst, most ugliest moments, and still chooses him over and over. Lastly, I think the reader absolutely fell first in this situation, but Law fell almost twice as hard. Law's devotion is a labor to obtain, but once it has been earned, it is fierce and eternal.

This is a relationship built on quiet understanding, compassion, and deep-rooted admiration, and it flourishes as a result.

ღ radishaur — i do not own any of these characters. do not plagiarize. please enjoy and remember to be respectful!

#radishaur writes

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notfreetoday · 1 year ago

Text

MPW Ep 3 Subtitle Corrections

EP 1 || EP 2 Cultural/Language Tidbits: EP 2

Same translation disclaimer applies. Thanks again for indulging my crazy long t/n, please keep geeking out with me in the notes!

We've got a change of director this episode - to Funabiki Shinju (twitter linked here) who was the scriptwriter for Jack Frost. This date is also a drama-only episode and does not appear in the manga. So, we have quite a few ad-libs here! I'll point out these out, as well as any interesting comments by the director and the producer from the Ep 3 twitter space as we go on. (Due to tumblr's image space limitations, some of these scenes will have no pics, just a description)

Ep 3, let's go! (If you read nothing in this post, please just read Yoh's monologue)

Since this is the theme of this episode, and Yoh's favourite word, let's talk a little more about it. I've mentioned it previously, but both "嫌い (kirai)" and "大嫌い (dai kirai)" are often translated as "hate/really hate", when they really function more as the opposite of "(suki)", ie "to like". That said, the amount of emotional weight this word carries depends on the context. It can accurately convey the pain/anger of hating someone, but it can also be used very mildly. For eg, it's often used by kids in the "I hate homework/vegetables/the rain/etc" form, or by teens/young adults in the "I don't want everyone to hate me" form, as opposed to other synonyms. When introducing yourself/getting to know someone, it's not uncommon to be asked "what are your suki/kirai?"

In other words, overuse of this word can actually come off as slightly childish, because kids/young people are usually the ones using this word to reject small things/express themselves. Yoh's constant insistence that he hates Segasaki pretty much sounds like this - which is why Man-san expresses doubt about it, and why when Segasaki repeats this line back to Yoh, Yoh understands that Segasaki is teasing him. (The word "love" is considered too heavy and precious of a concept to be thrown around easily, so "suki" is the default go to even in committed relationships.)

Y: 相変わらずすごいよ、この人の外面モード。 Y: As always, this person's "public mode" is amazing.

"外面 (soto zura)" literally refers to the "outside face", and when used to describe a person means someone who puts up a certain personality/attitude depending on who they're speaking to/the situation.

The reason Yoh's saying this is because Segasaki is speaking to him in a much nicer way than he usually does at home 🤣He's using plain forms yes, but he's also praising him and smiling at him and actually saying a whole, proper sentence as opposed to the one-word sickness he has at home🤣 This is most obvious right before Segasaki leaves, when he warns Yoh to be careful when drawing other people - he says "気をつけてね~ (ki o tsukete ne~)", ending with a ne~ which is sweet and cute and which he almost never does with Yoh at home 🤣🤣

Twitter Space Note (TSN): They decided that since they finally got to shoot an "outdoor scene" for Yoh, they'd try to make him look a little more fashionable with a shirt instead of a hoodie 🤣

Y: いってらっしゃい Y: Itterasshai - this is a standard greeting that you say when someone is leaving the house (or the office, if they're going out on a business errand). Basically, the one leaving says "ittekimasu" and the one staying behind says "itterasshai". They mean "(I'll) go and come back/Go safely and return well" When returning, you say "tadaima" and the one welcoming you back says "okaerinasai" meaning: "(I have) just now (returned)/ (you have) returned safely". Unlike Yoh, Segasaki does none of these standard greetings (which Yoh complained about in Ep 1 whilst chopping onions).

Y: だからね、気持ちが通じ合った*っていう描写が必要だと思うんだよおれは Y: だからこそ、体が盛り上がる**、的な？ M: はーん。中高生処女みたいなこといってろ Original: Y: That's why I think it's necessary to depict the feeling of "mutual understanding" Y: That's how the physical aspect also gets exciting... or something like that? M: Hmm.. talking about it like a high school virgin, huh? Mine: Y: So that's why, I think it's important - showing that (the characters') have this unspoken understanding* of each other's feelings. Y: It's precisely because of that, that you get physically excited** - something like that? M: Mm.... you're saying things a high-school virgin would say **体が盛り上がる - literally, "the body gets excited/heated up/lively etc" - given that they are talking about erotica, he probably means physically aroused here, but this term also works to explain the feeling of excitement or emotion just swelling in your chest for eg *通じ合った - is not just "mutual understanding" - it specifically refers to a situation in which both parties understand each other without having to say a word - like when you look at someone and just get them, or like in sports, you just look at your team mate and you know.

This is an important distinction because in this line, Yoh again emphasizes "I" - at the end of the sentence he ends off with the pronoun "俺 (ore)" marked by the subject particle "は (wa)" - which means that in this sentence Yoh is emphasizing that this is his opinion - that he himself thinks it's important to show that 2 people simply get each other, because that's exactly what translates to that sensation you feel in your body. This is what Yoh wants - he wants to understand Segasaki, and he wants Segasaki to understand him, without them having to actually say anything. Which at the moment, only Segasaki is achieving, ironically.

[ Man-san's dialogue, where she says "a sex scene follows]

TSN: Man-san actually only says “se-“ here, and then mutes herself (because they’re in public). In the script, it was supposed to be the full “sex” word, but they weren't sure whether it would be ok (it's not clear whether they mean ok for the actress to say this or ok for the show in general) so in the end it became "se-". Yes it's an odd place to be concerned about given the whole Ep2 but #Japan

Again, the word here used is “kirai” but translated as “dislike” instead of hate 😉

TSN: Between this scene and the start of the next scene, they praised how Acchan uses his eyes to convey Yoh's dejection and how he expresses Yoh's emotions very sensitively through his gaze (and I agree!)

TSN: The director mentioned that she had thought it would look good if Segasaki to put his hand up like this on the ceiling partition, but the moment Kouhei walked in, he just did it naturally without her having to say anything, and so she was really amazed.

S: じゃ、出かけるぞ (Jya, dekakeru zo) S: Then, we’re going out.

“Let’s go out” would be more of "じゃ、でかけましょう (Jya, dekakemashou)" – by using the ending form “(-ma)shou”, the listener is included in the action of going out as an equal to the speaker, the same way “let’s” is used in English. It is by far the most common way Japanese people make a statement without trying to sound too overbearing. But here, Segasaki once again demonstrates his habit of simply stating what they’re going to do, and speaking for Yoh. The sentence-final particle “zo” at the end of his sentence is an assertive one that doesn’t leave much room for argument.

TSN: Again they talked about how they emphasised to Acchan to do the housework improperly, since Yoh isn't supposed to be good at it. Also, when Yoh thinks, "what's with this, all of a sudden?", the director asked that he move his hands "more" as he folded the clothes, like he was still happy to be asked out.

Y: デート自体ないんだよ Y: I’ve never even been on a date.

Y: 俺、いま一体何してんだろう Y: What am I even doing right now?

Yoh’s not wondering what they’re doing, he’s questioning his own actions, like "why am I even here, doing this, what am I supposed to do" etc, because you know, he's never even been on a date before and he has no clue whether this actually is one.

[The scene with the 2 of them on the bench, and Segasaki asks Yoh what he'd like to eat]

TSN: The script only went up to Yoh answering that he wanted to eat “Chinese food”, and this whole bit afterward just happened naturally when they let the camera run.

Yoh says “たっか(taka)!” which is short for “高い(takai)” aka “expensive!” but his voice is so cute here I’m dying. (It really is bloody expensive, these things are usually anywhere between 180 yen – 300 yen pre-pandemic. Even with the big one they have here, I don’t think anyone would sell this above 500 yen)

TSN: They said they searched for a 1200 yen steamed pork bun but couldn’t find one, and in actuality the store sells them at a really reasonable price, so to please go give it a try 🤣🤣

[The scene of them walking and sharing the chicken cutlet]

TSN: This scene, as well as them walking along they alley way looking at the shops, was mostly ad-libbed (which is probably why we see Acchan smiling so much here hahaha I’m guessing the question about which he liked better was probably an adlib, which surprised Acchan). For the alleyway, they were told that their conversation was not going to be used, so they were quite relaxed (and that explains the audio fade out lol)

[The scene of them drinking Boba/Bubble Tea]

About Gyaru - when Boba/Bubble Tea first came to Japan, it became pretty popular amongst Gyaru, and quickly became associated with Gyaru culture - hence why they both felt it was something only Gyaru drank. It's similar to the idea that only ladies eat sweets/desserts that was briefly mentioned in OFC (which makes Nozue feel awkward about 2 men eating cake in a dessert cafe) - here they mean they both felt too embarrassed to try Boba out before due to the idea that it's a "Gyaru" drink (and I love how Yoh looks at Segasaki then, like he only just realises that even Segasaki might get embarrassed/feel awkward sometimes).

S: 乗るぞ (noru zo)

Again, this is “we’re riding it” instead of “let’s”.

Y: 思ったよりすごく透明で Y: (The cabin) is more transparent than I thought

The floor of the cabin is actually clear, so you can see right down through to the bottom, which is why Yoh is a little freaked out here. Not because he thought glass wasn’t transparent.

TSN: Acchan is also afraid of heights, so the stiffness you see here is real, he really didn’t like it, but they went 4 rounds in total to finish this scene. (Kouhei apparently was fine and enjoyed looking right through the glass, though I can’t remember which interview this was mentioned in, sorry!)

S: ほら S: See?

ほら (hora) is commonly used to draw the listener’s attention to something, so here Segasaki really just means “look (I was right)”

TSN: They apparently redid the scene where Segasaki dismisses the store attendant many times so they could make sure it was done in a way that looked natural and wouldn’t be off-putting.

We’re back to one of Segasaki’s humming sounds – the “hmm…?” here again conveys the “oh, really/is that so?” sort of lazy drawl that can easily be mistaken as Segasaki being bored – which is why Yoh immediately suggests they go do their own thing.

Y: そっちも、好きなところいっていいから Y: You too, it’s okay (if you go) to the places you like so…

Yoh uses “そっち” here to refer to Segasaki - which literally means “your/that side” and is another way in which Yoh avoids addressing Segasaki directly (remember, in Japan we don’t like being direct, and “you” is sometimes too direct).

Fun fact: Depending on which part of Japan you’re in, this can either be seen as a totally normal way of speaking, or it might annoy you a little to be referred to as if you were an object/place, or you might feel like the speaker was treating you a little like an “outsider”. The divide in opinion seems to be somewhere between the northeast regions, and the western regions. Tokyo and the rest of the Kantou region (where the show is based, judging by the lack of an obvious accent) are sort of 50-50.

Y: もしあれ*だったら、あ、あの、こっちはこっちで、好きにやってるし Original: Y: Ah, if you want to. Well… we’re both doing our own things… Mine: Y: If (you feel) that way*, then, ah, umm, I can… do as I like, by myself too...

*that way - this refers to that sort of awkward, uncomfortable feeling you get that is hard to describe when you’ve been put on the spot. So, this makes it clear that Yoh is offering Segasaki an “out” from this uncomfortable, weird position he thinks Segasaki is in.

Similar to his earlier sentence, Yoh refers to himself as “こっち (this side)”, and the phrase he uses pretty much means “I can entertain myself”. This is an example of kizukai – or at least, what Yoh thinks is kizukai - which is a concept where you do your best to think of the other person’s needs and wants, so you can anticipate what help they might need and so you don’t inadvertently inconvenience them. Ok, now get ready for some mental gymnastics:

From Yoh's POV, Segasaki wants to buy clothes, and has brought Yoh along to carry the bags. Therefore, Segasaki’s offer to buy him a shirt, and asking him if he is having fun, is Segasaki’s kizukai – Segasaki is going out of his way to make sure Yoh is taken care of. But! Yoh doesn’t want Segasaki to feel inconvenienced (similar to how in EP 2, Yoh said he doesn’t want Segasaki to dislike him), so he instead almost reflexively rejects Segasaki’s offer, then encourages Segasaki to go enjoy himself, and in response to Segasaki’s “Ha!?”, doubles down and says he’s totally ok by himself - This is Yoh’s kizukai.

Tired yet? This is a normal consideration in daily interactions! You can see why the phrase “yokei na kizukai (excessive/unwanted kizukai)” also exists in Japanese lolol 🤣

S: ああ。せっかくの休日に、大嫌いな俺*と一緒にいてのはたのしくない？ Original: S: Ah. So spending a day with someone you hate on your precious day off isn’t enjoyable? Mine: S: Ah. On your precious day off, being together with me – who you hate* – isn’t fun?

*“大嫌いな俺 (dai kirai na ore)” is literally “the ‘me’ that you hate”, or “me who is hated by you” - emphasis on "me", the person standing right in front of you.

Y: いや、それは…違。。。あ、その。。。 Y: No, that’s…not-…- ah.. um…

“A, so” again.

S: 五時にここ集合*な (goji ni koko shuugou *na) S: We’ll meet here at 5, *yea?

*Ending with “na” is softer than “zo” – this statement is still pretty much an order, as with his other statements that ended with “zo”, but it’s gentler, and softens the fact that he’s walking away from Yoh here.

TSN: Pretty much everyone was just going on and on about “oh, poor thing!” in response to Segasaki getting rejected and chased away, and how even though he’s sad here he’s still sweet and gentle with Yoh. Yes, that’s right, everyone loves Segasaki.

[The scene of Yoh spilling water on his shirt]

TSN: This was apparently pretty difficult to shoot in a way the camera could see the water spilling, but the wardrobe team came to the rescue with hairdryers so they could keep reshooting 🤣🤣

S: じゃ、帰んぞ (Jya, kaen zo) S: Then, we’re going back

“zo” is back! Sorry for being so pedantic about tiny things like this, but I do think it gives us insight into Segasaki's character and how he may be feeling.

This line is the most important correction in this post.

Y: 本当はさ、ずっと、ささいな表情とか、しぐさとか、俺が言うこと聞くとちょっと嬉しそうにするのとか、晴れの予報を告げる優しい声とか、全部バカみたいに俺ばっかり。毎日俺ばっかり心臓大暴れさせてるみたいで　嫌だった Y: むかつくとこ拾い集めて　大嫌いだって思ってないと　その気持ちの不釣り合いに　息ができなくなってしまいそうで嫌だった Y: 嫌いじゃない　嫌いじゃないよ Original: Y: Actually, all these times, your expressions, gestures, the way you look kind of happy when you listen to me, and your gentle voice forecasting good weather. All of them, make my heart beat as if it’s coming out. I don’t like it. Y: I gathered everything that annoyed me, thinking that if I didn’t, the imbalance of my feelings would suffocate me. I don’t like it. Y: I don’t hate you. I really don’t. Mine: Y: In truth, all this while, the little expressions you make, the gestures you do, the way you seem just that little bit happier when I listen to you, and the gentle voice with which you announce the sunny weather… All of that - like an idiot, it's just me who… It feels like it's just me whose heart has been made to pound and race wildly and - I didn't like that. Y: If I didn't gather up all the things that frustrated me and told myself "I hate this" then, the disparity (between us) in those feelings would suffocate me, making me feel like I could hardly breathe and - I didn't like that. Y: I don't hate you. I really don't hate you.

TSN: This was ad-libbed too. It just happened that the metal post was coming up in between them as they walked, and Acchan saw it and planned to go around it, because he felt that emotionally there was a gap forming between Yoh and Segasaki at this point. But right as he was about to do that, Kouhei grabbed him by the sleeve and pulled him over, which Acchan was really surprised by, because they both had the same thought to ad-lib something about that post, and they both did it as their characters would do it, but it was the exact opposite action. The director said that when the 2 were walking back towards the start point they were both smiling a little, and then asked the director “how was that?” to which she replied “It’s really great!”, and then Acchan looked a little frustrated (in a sorta arrgh I got it wrong sort of way) whereas Kouhei was all “I was definitely right” (Acchan mentioned he was abit worried about the ad-lib, so I’m guessing they both were discussing as they walked back and finally decided to settle it by asking the director hahaha)

Y: すいません S: なにが Y: その。。。いろいろ S: だからなにが Original: Y: I’m sorry S: For what? Y: Well, for everything S: What do you mean? Mine: Y: I’m sorry S: About what? Y: That… for many things S: And (I said,), about what?

Yoh uses the formal "すいません (suimasen)" here, as opposed to his usual and more casual "gomen" or "gomen nasai", because this line is important to him, and he means it. "Sorry" in Japanese does not always carry the meaning of regret/remorse - it can be used to express gratitude as well. You''ll often here people say "Sorry that you had to (go through the trouble)" after they've accepted a gift, or "Sorry, I've caused you much trouble" as a way of thanking someone for their care. So, Yoh says "sorry" here after accepting Segasaki's gift, which could be seen as a thank you, but he also means he's sorry that he's like this, that he can't be honest/straightforward about his feelings (a theme that is brought up in Ep 4), that Segasaki has to care for him like this etc. "For many things" is a common way to encompass all of these mixed feelings, and yet not say them out directly.

Y: どうせ口じゃ、うまく言えないから Original: No matter what, I don’t dare say it Mine: Since I can't get the words out of my mouth properly anyway

S: よくできました (yoku dekimashita)

This is a formal way of saying “well done”, and if you did well in your work/test in elementary school you’d get a stamp that says just this, or your teacher would draw you a flower. The more elaborate the flower, the better you did. This is the only time thus far that Segasaki has said anything formal to Yoh at all. The sudden shift, and the imagery this phrase evokes – a literal stamp of approval – emphasises not just Segasaki’s approval, but also his role in Yoh’s life (ie, his role as Yoh’s provider, or well, maybe keeper is more accurate. Honestly Dom makes the most sense, but I’m not qualified to talk about that so see @lutawolf posts for more!). We’ll talk more about how both Segasaki and Yoh acknowledge the power dynamic between them in the way the speak in the language analysis post (that will come after this, before Ep 4's).

Y: この人、もしかして本当はめっちゃ俺のこと。。。？ Y: This person… could it be that he actually…really is… …me?

Y: 信じていい？ Y: Is it ok if I believe? sue me, I think believe and trust carry different nuances.

S: よかったな* (yokatta *na) S: シーツ買ったからいっぱいできんじゃん、大好きなセックス S: まあ　残念ながら　相手は大嫌いな俺**ですけど Original: S: Great, S: with more sheets, we can do it more often. Your beloved sex S: Well, unfortunately the other person is someone you hate Mine: S: Isn't this nice* S: Since you bought more sheets, we can do it a lot - the sex that you love so much S: Well, unfortunately, your partner is me - who you hate **so much

*The use of "na" here is slightly different from the one earlier - here it is used more for emphasis, and the downward tone carries a hint of mockery.

Again, Segasaki uses the same "the me who you hate" phrasing as he did earlier, emphasizing to Yoh once again that Segasaki is the one Yoh hates. Except here, he also ends off the sentence with "ですけど (desukedo)", and the whole phrasing of this line too, from the word "unfortunately" onwards, just feels business-like. As before, the shift in style gives the statement more weight- Segasaki is really not letting Yoh get away with this line here, and Yoh feels this acutely. The sharpness of the line makes him turn away abruptly in shock and even some anger.

S: お前が好きにしていいって言うんだから S: 好きにさせてもらうけど　*な (na)？ S: お前　本当バーカ Original: S: You told me to do as I like, S: then I’ll do what I want. Okay? S: You really are… an idiot Mine: S: You said I could do as I wish so, S: I'll gratefully do as I please... *yea? S: You're...really an idiot

*The "na" used here is similar to the one Segasaki used when telling Yoh to meet back at 5, in that it assumes the listener will agree with the speaker. This time it's not so much used to soften an imperative, but rather, to soften the teasing of the preceeding line - "I'll gratefully do as I please".

The phrase used here is "~させてもらう (~sasete morau)". "Sasete" means "to do" something, with the permission of the other person, and "morau" means "to receive (with thanks/gratefulness)" so together this phrase means that you're going to "do something (with the permission of the other person)", and you are thankful to have received that permission. It's usually used for things like asking your boss "May I please go home early with your kind permission" sorta thing, or telling someone that you "ate a meal someone provided for you that you are grateful for".

So here, Segasaki is pretty much saying "I'll do as I please since you so kindly told me I could, didn't you?" which is why he smirks as he says it.

/////

And we're finally done with EP 3!! Finally! Now I can finally talk about their general speech styles and what it means when they choose to switch between them. Thanks for joining me! Also, shout out to @eralkfang for tagging me in their meta post - I'm really glad these posts are helpful that way!!

#my personal weatherman #taikan yohou #体感予報 #MPW subtitle corrections #mytranslations #this was the episode that made me start this series #some of the subs are wrong in crucial places #and that hurts me #sorry it's late #we'll catch up during this 2wk break before Ep 6 #HOW IS THERE A 30 IMAGE LIMIT PER POST

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funficwriter · 1 year ago

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A Wolf and A Snake (Wriothesley x Reader)

Letters' Interlude - 2

Warnings: Yandere themes, a bit graphic in the second letter.

Taglist: @yue-caelum @reyy-chanx @mis-disaster

From: Duke Wriothesley of Meropide - Fortress of Meropide, Liffey Region, Fontaine

To: Baron E. Balthazar - Balthazar Manor, Court Region, Fontaine

To the most esteemed Baron Balthazar,

I feel honored for the chance to be able to write this letter, even more so if you're reading it now. I'm sure you know why I am doing so by now, with your daughter's social success and coming-of-age as a fine young woman.

While I wasn't born a Duke, I have been one for a while. I saw quite a few virtuous young ladies, but young Lady Balthazar shines in the depth of her knowledge, culture, and trueness. As a noble, I'm sure you know how dull our conversational space can be; Everyone is well-educated and knows much of culture, but it often hits a ceiling where that ends. I would argue that they're all repositories of goodness with a cap. But Lady Balthazar is no house or repository with limits; She's a never-ending well of virtue, one that goes beyond instruction and basic fact. Each time I thought I saw it all with her, she amazed me with a new level of tact, kindness, or wisdom. She has certainly been blessed to have you provide such great education, but I must say you are also fortunate for Celestia to give you a daughter with her own penchant for continuously seeking virtues as a noble and as a person. I think that is what sealed the deal in my love for her.

I'm certain many nobles will liken her to doves or flowers. I would like to be honest about my feelings, even if I deviate. In that one night, I felt that Lady Balthazar is much that I love; She's my favorite type of dark chocolate. She's unearthed tomes holding the secrets to Spantamad's unresolved questions of ice and thunder. She's the soft operatic melody that rings out in sole nights not for human fame or money, but an impetuous desire to be heard by the stars. Her laughter's is Mondstadt's festival winds. Her steps are Liyue's clinking of good charms. Her speech is my cup of tea reflecting the full moon upon which I was born. Even beyond the borders of Fontaine, where I spent most of my life, Lady Balthazar spans upon my entire world and I'll never lead a joyful life if I have only experienced this once.

Obviously, a presence as electrifying as hers only deserves the best. I myself have long wanted a wife, so I made sure that by the time one made me as lovestruck as your daughter, I can be the best husband possible within my arsenal. When I became responsible of the Fortress, I made sure I used my power to assure Fontaine would be a place of safety and fairness. I want to wonder our beautiful avenues with her by my side, while she enjoys herself, free of any fears of danger. In a way, I feel that much of what I do is for the citizens I love, and the first on that list is your daughter.

I thank you for your time and attention, as well as the grace you granted me to meet the loveliest of ladies.

With all my regards,

Duke Wriothesley.

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From: Duke Wriothesley of Meropide - Fortress of Meropide, Liffey Region, Fontaine

To: Lady Y/N Balthazar - Balthazar Manor, Court Region, Fontaine

To my beloved, deserving of happiness alone,

I'm hoping that the appearance of Frosty cheered you up a little, especially after tonight. Deep down, I knew your father would try to use my being a wolf hybrid as a weapon against me. He's not the first, and certainly won't be the last.

I spent the last few hours praying to Focalors that something, anything good could happen before Frosty and lift your spirits a bit. Ever since I became infatuated with you, I felt like you're mine. Your emotional extremes - both positive and negative - have become mine as well. Even if I didn't cry, your tears were mine, too. And that is part of loving a person, whole, which I believe that in its tragedy, holds something beautiful. In you being mine, you'll never have to face another storm alone. You'll never have to stare down the uglier part of life with your hands shaking, begging to hold another and stay with you in the midst of that chaos.

Learn this well if you wish to know your real lover (that self-righteous Archandelle idiot is not it, even if your father says otherwise); Throughout my life, as a prisoner and as a warden, I have handled humanity's scum. Many nights I thought: "There can't be people worse than what I have just imprisoned.", then came another bastard to astonish me. Over time, I grew jaded about it until last night, when you poured your heart out to me. The lifer criminals I have, in my eyes, could never hold a candle of cruelty that he who made you cry has.

Your tears are the greatest injustice I've witnessed. Your sorrow (especially when you didn't ask for it) is the most urgent of tragedies to remediate. So I swear upon my honor and love, I will end it. I will run, fight, bribe, corrupt, maim or kill whoever dares to trespass upon our happiness, our coupling, our fate to be together forever. Many of our Archons have decreed it: "Whoever stops fate from running its course will see great punishment.". Except here, this punishment will come in the ice beast that they feared, who will roar at them but only ever purr for you.

Please hold on and be assured that you will not belong to that idiot, or that bastard you call a father. Keep in mind that my anger towards him is not yours at all. You didn't ask to be born to him, you did nothing wrong. On the contrary, he saw the gem that was his daughter, and yet decided to make her unhappy. With time and my own plans (That you will be made aware of soon. A bit radical, but will guarantee our ending up together), you will belong to the one you should belong to. Until then, let's keep each other in the loop of what is going on.

You will belong to me,

Duke Wriothesley.

#wriothesley x reader #yandere wriothesley x reader #yandere fontaine x reader #yandere genshin x reader

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startrekfangirl2233-writes · 2 years ago

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Love Has No Limits

Part 2 of You Play Stupid Games, You Win Stupid Prizes

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x Reader, Past! Bradley 'Rooster’ Bradshaw x Reader

Description: It's been two months since you broke up with Bradley Bradshaw, two months since you've been on an aircraft carrier. Things with Jake are great; they're better than ever. But you're still terrified to hand him your heart. What will you do when a tense situation on board nearly has you lose him too?

Disclaimer: Female!Reader

Warnings: Cheating, Cursing, Sex, Sexual Themes, Minor mention of non-consensual rough sex, Panic Attack

The content presented in this story is for audiences age 18 and over only. MINORS DNI. I will not be accepting taglist requests from Blank or Ageless Blogs for this story.I do my best to portray adult relationships in this fic. Please do not interact with this story if you feel you are not ready to read about these themes.

Word Count: 6418

A/N: Without further ado, here is the second installment of the You Play Stupid Games, You Win Stupid Prizes Universe. Remember when I said it was going to be short? I lied. We're looking at around 5 or 6 installments right now! All the thanks I have go to @desert-fern who was kind enough to beta read this chapter for me and teach me how to angst!

AO3: Cross-posted here!

My Masterlist

Previous Part | Series Masterlist | Next Part

Aircraft carriers are both bigger and smaller than civilians think. They’re longer than three football fields and can hold four squadrons of planes, their flight and operations crews, their pilots, and all other personnel necessary for carrier function. That’s the big part. The small part is how maze-like the hallways are inside. Some are so narrow that two people can barely walk side by side with an inch of space between them. There are so many decks and ways to reach the same destination.

You still remember your first time on a carrier. It had turned you around so badly that you needed to draw maps to get around. The disorientation had taken three months to get over, and you’d only been on the ship at that time for four months while running an analysis on the ship’s radar software.

Your current time onboard has been completely different. For one, you’d gotten your sea legs much sooner and had easily found your way around the carrier. The second was your team on the carrier. Mara was still a godsend. You loved working closely with her. When the two of you put your heads together, it felt like nothing could stand in your way.

And then there were the pilots testing your work. Mickey was as badass as you'd always been told he was. Immensely smart and a genuine sweetheart to boot. The one person who you couldn't place was Jake Seresin. He was the same as always up in the air - cocky, arrogant, and confident.

It was when he was out of the air and off duty that he was completely different. Jake had been incredibly sweet to you over the past six weeks the four of you had been on the carrier. You would have never expected it of Hangman. You knew he could be nice but sweet? It still amazes you how easy it is to get along with him. A small part of your psyche is still mortified by how you cried in his arms, but the larger part of you really liked how it felt. He felt safe. He felt like you were home.

It's past midnight as you toss and turn in your bunk. Your mind is running around in circles; all you can think of is Jake, Jake, Jake. In actuality, it has only been two months since you broke up with Bradley Bradshaw. While his betrayal still stings, like salt in a wound, in truth, the wound has been healing slowly. Initially, that wound was all you could feel, all your love turning to ash instantly. You’d felt like the aftermath of a forest fire with the gnarled ashy husks of trees stretching into the sky as embers still burned on the ground below. Then you’d finally let yourself cry that night. You’d felt all the embers flicker out under that warm spring rain and felt something new take root.

It’s the something new that’s been consuming you recently. Your heart stutters in its steady cadence when Jake looks at you nowadays. You get lost gazing into his green eyes, your normally quick brain grinding to a halt when faced with the power of his gaze. You’d thought falling in love with Bradley Bradshaw and its aftermath were the most intense emotions you’d ever felt. You’re starting to think you were wrong. You’re not shy. 90% of the time, you’d argue that you’re the opposite. But occasionally, Jake will sit down next to you, say something witty, flash that megawatt grin, and take your breath away. Every time that happens, you feel like a recalcitrant computer, needing to force-reboot your brain before it gets stuck on his dimples, eyes, or the toothpick in his mouth.

The worst part is how you used to pride yourself on your professionalism. With Jake Seresin, that professionalism had been stripped away as you poured out your heart and soul, showing him your weakness. And you’re constantly feeling wrong-footed. It’s an undercurrent to each interaction you’ve had with him, and you’re unsure if you want more with him. Can you take things slow? Your bruised heart might be screaming, “NO!”, at the top of its lungs, but your head is chanting, “YES!”, back just as adamantly.

It’s as quiet as it can be on an aircraft carrier. The creaking of your bunk, the steadfast rocking of the boat, and the snuffling sounds of people asleep around you are all you can hear. And then you hear the wheezing groan of the bunk above you as Mara climbs down. Her voice is sleep mussed as she leans over and slips on her shoes.

“Y’can’t sleep, can you? I’m gonna go switch out with one of the boys. Your tossing and turning are keeping me awake.”

“‘M sorry for keeping you awake, Mar. I haven’t been sleeping well. I hope the boys don’t get too angry at you for disturbing them.”

“Mickey might. But Jake? I don’t think he’ll object if I tell him it’s for you.”

And as the metal door clangs shut softly behind her, you’re left alone with your thoughts again. Obviously, you're not great at hiding how your thoughts turn to static in his presence. But despite what Mara has been telling you for months and Mickey for the past couple of weeks, you still can’t believe that Jake Seresin could ever harbor a soft spot for you. You’re rapidly eclipsing a singular soft spot for him, yourself. You can feel your resolve waver and become a pool of goop nearly daily. You’re not sure it’s safe to expose your heart again. Not really. But god, do you want to try.

You’re startled out of your reverie as the door opens. In the half-light spilling in from the hallway, you see a silhouette you’ve become intimately acquainted with over the past months.

“Hey, Bitsie. Mar told me you were having trouble sleeping. Mind if I join you?”

“J-Jake. Yeah, of course. I don’t mind.”

There’s a rustle of fabric, and you’re expecting to hear the creak of the bunk above you as he climbs up and settles in. But that’s not what you get. Instead, you get pushed to one side of the bunk and there is suddenly an interloper in your sheets. You can feel his naked skin pressing into yours as he drags the blankets over your shoulders and his hands sliding soothingly up and down your back as you lie stiff against him.

“C’mon, Bitsie. Relax. I’ve got you.”

The sweetness in his tone has you reeling. It takes a few moments before you finally let yourself go limp, surrendering to the thrall of his sleep-warm skin. He still smells like his cologne, something warm and musky with a slight hint of floral tones. And his body feels like a furnace. He's so warm. His arm wraps around your waist, drawing you in until you can feel the heat of his breath against your face.

“There. Isn’t that more comfortable?” He sounds so smug as he settles in with his big hand resting flush against your back.

Your answering hum is weak, nearly too quiet. Your heart is pounding, and you can already feel your thoughts race.

"Y'know, Jake, I didn't think you'd do this. I thought you'd take Mara's bunk."

"Mm. I gathered by how you went as stiff as a board as I pulled you close."

You can feel the rise and fall of his chest from where you are. Each breath is hypnotically steady.

"I was going to suggest an orgasm or two to help you unwind, but I didn't think you'd appreciate that suggestion."

You smack his arm, keeping your hand there as you grin into his chest. You’re grumbling under your breath as he tugs you even closer. Your feet are trapped between his calves as he rests his hands against your hips. You can feel the heat and roughness of his grip as he trails his fingers over the sliver of skin exposed from where your t-shirt had ridden up over the past hours you had been tossing and turning.

A chill slinks down your spine at the gentle touch, sending shocks of unease through you. It reminds you of another set of fingers gripping too tight at your hip in the heat of a fun night at the Hard Deck. Bradley had been drinking quite heavily that night, and he’d pawed at you, his normally gentle hands rough and harsh as they traced your skin. Jake had pulled him away that day and helped him sober slightly. But when he’d come back, Bradley had possessively clutched at you. He’d called you a slut that night, for the first time, as he fucked you until your eyes welled with tears and your cunt stung from the constant abuse he was wringing on your system.

The constant gentle press of Jake’s hands on your skin had you nearly hyperventilating. You push them away, and you’re sure Jake can tell how uncomfortable you are as he withdraws his hands immediately. He leaves as much space as possible in the tiny bunk between you, and you’re comforted at least a little by how seriously he takes your need for personal space. It takes several long moments before your breathing slows, and that irrational panic begins to fade. You’re reminding yourself repeatedly that Jake isn’t Bradley as you carefully ease yourself into his embrace. His hands are hesitant as he curls his arm around your upper back. Your voice isn’t steady and a little wet as you finally respond to his joking remark from earlier.

"Mmm… but you'd love it, wouldn't you? Another feather in your cap? Another notch in your bedpost?"

You can't help the sardonic lilt in your voice as your mood flags. You're not sure you could handle it if sex were all he wanted from you.

"What cap, darlin'? As far as I'm concerned, I don't have one. Not anymore. I haven't even thought about another girl in months. It's only been you. But from the beginning, you made it explicitly clear that Bradshaw was the only man you'd ever want to be with. You also made it equally clear that you didn't want anything to do with me. So I stopped flirting with you and stopped making you smile. I couldn't handle seeing you with him. And then, when the mission started, I couldn't let you hurt alone."

He sounds so different from the Jake, the Hangman you're used to hearing. His voice is gentle and soft as he pulls you close again.

"That's why I guess I've been different since this mission started. I just wanted to make you smile again. I wanted to heal your heart."

"Jake." You can't hide your shock. How do you respond? Did he just confess his feelings for you? You can't resist wrapping your arms around his waist and nuzzling close to his skin.

"M'sorry. M'sorry if I led you on."

"I know, baby. It wasn't your intention. And I know this isn't the right time. You've had a hard few months. I'm not going to pressure you into moving too fast. But you can lean on me, baby. I've got your back. I promise."

You curl in closer to his chest until you can feel the beat of his heart. His shoulders are tense as you press a feather-soft kiss against his skin.

"Jake. Thank you. I wish I'd never picked Bradley over you. We would've been so happy together. And you would've never hurt me as he did."

Jake presses a feather-soft kiss against your forehead as your words peter out.

“I wouldn’t have, baby. I would’ve made you so happy. You wouldn’t have wanted for a single thing. I’d spend every day making sure you were incandescently happy. But it wasn’t meant to be — you picked Bradshaw. I thought you made the right choice, too. When you smiled that gorgeous grin at him that day, I knew I couldn’t love you how you deserve to be loved. And we can’t go back in time to change that. All we can control is where we go from here. I pick you, darlin’. All you need to do is pick me too. Not now, but when you’re ready.”

The emotion in his words makes something warm glow in your chest. His chest heaves against your skin as he breathes deeply. You trace your fingers across his face, feeling the prickle of his stubble against the pads as you cup his jaw. His breathing picks up as you press your index finger against his mouth. His lips are soft and moist, slightly chapped against your fingertips as you press lightly against the supple skin.

“What’re you doing, baby?” You grin at the amusement in his tone, withdrawing your finger and pressing a kiss against it before tapping it against his mouth. You’re not expecting him to kiss your fingers back. The warmth in your chest ignites like a bonfire at the gentle caress. Your throat is tight as you press a kiss against the corner of his mouth.

"Jake, as much as the past months hurt, I also learned a lot from the experience. I learned a lot about myself. What I do and don't like in a partner. And what I deserve as a part of a relationship. I won't ever let anything like that happen again. I promise I’ll choose wisely this time, sweetheart."

Your words are slurring with your exhaustion. The warmth of Jake's skin sends drowsiness coursing through you.

“I have all the faith in you, sweetheart. And we’re going to talk about what happened to make you nearly have a panic attack later, too. Okay?”

"Okay. G'night, Jake." You can feel his smile as your eyes flutter closed.

"G'night, Bitsie."

Waking up is hard the next morning. There's a heavy limb draped across your back, and you're pressed tight against warm skin. Your legs are intertwined, and it's the most comfortable you've been in a long time. Even in a bunk made for one, it doesn't feel crowded. You feel at home, more than the last time you’d shared a bed with a man.

Or at least, you would if you didn't hear chattering from two people who don't belong in your quarters before the call to muster even rings in the early morning. They’re not trying to moderate their volume, either. You nuzzle into Jake closer, praying his bicep will block the noise from disturbing your sleep. His arms tighten around you, and you can feel his lips against your hair. If you hide long enough, would they just disappear? Apparently not. The longer you stay curled up in Jake’s arms, the louder the chatter grows, now interspersed with calls of his name, and the bigger his smile grows against the top of your head. He presses one final kiss against your forehead before releasing you and slipping out of the bunk.

“What’s the hurry, Fanboy?” His sleep-mussed voice is going to take you out. It’s rough and rich and deep. You want nothing more than to hear that voice call you “darlin’” again and cuddle up in his arms. But he’s awake and talking to Fanboy about something you can barely hear. His hair is fluffy atop his head, and he still hasn’t put on his shirt. You can just see the shadow of him through the soft sweatpants covering his legs, and the sight has your thighs clenching as he whirls around, grabs his worn Navy tee, and shrugs it on. All the levity has drained from his face as he takes two steps and crouches in front of you. You’re sitting in the bunk now, and your new position has brought you level with his face.

“What’s going on?” Your voice is soft as you cup his jaw. His eyes close at the press of your fingers against his lower lip. Like the night before, he presses a kiss against your fingertips before pulling you in close enough to whisper in your ear.

"G'Morning, Baby. I wish we could've stayed in bed longer, but something big is happenin’. The Captain wants us suited up and on deck to run flight patrols. The situation is rapidly developing. I have to go. I just wanted to tell you that I love you. I need you to know that in case something bad goes down."

An unpleasant knot tightens in your chest as you tug him in closer by wrapping your hand around the base of his neck. You press a feather-soft kiss against his lips before hugging him tight. His arms wrap tight around your waist, and you can feel his shoulders tense as the adrenaline begins to course through his blood.

“Take care of yourself, and please take care of Mickey. Fly safe, fly true. Don’t do anything life-threatening. And above all, come home. Please.” You can’t keep the catch in your voice as you run your fingers through the short hairs at the base of his neck. “I just found you. Come home to me. So I can tell you I love you for the first time.”

That’s when you hear his breath hitch, and you’re being properly kissed. Everything else melts away except for Jake. It’s a painfully sweet kiss that has your heart racing even as dread slides its cold hooks into you. And it’s over far too soon as he pulls away before following Fanboy to get suited up. It’s a sober mood in your quarters as you and Mara get ready for the day and head to the flight operations center.

The entire ship is a hive of activity. You both have to flatten against the walls multiple times on the way, dodging sailors, flight personnel, and whoever else felt the need to run around in a ship bracing for an attack. You and Mara reach the Captain just as the jets take off. From the Flight Ops Center, you have a near perfect line of sight to see the planes rise like a flock of metallic birds into the sky. You can barely make out Jake and Mickey waiting on deck for their signal to launch and your heart feels tight as you fight the urge to steal a headset and tell him you love him. But you can’t, so all you do is clutch at the railing in front of you with all your strength and pray that they, that he will, come back safe.

“Captain Mills. What’s happening?” The Captain had already begun to sweat through his uniform as he beckons you and Mara closer.

You can hear the emotion in his voice as he downs the cold coffee in his mug before speaking in clipped tones, “At 10 past 0100, we received reports of patrols in our airspace. Naturally, the first thing we did was contact the COMPACFLT. But the admiral had no notice of flight operations happening in our airspace.”

The Captain pauses, seeming to try and find the necessary thread in what you assumed was a tangled web of information that would take hours to unwind. “The only reasonable assumption we can make is that it is the enemy. I’m afraid, ladies, that we are now standing by and evaluating the threat. This has the potential to evolve into a serious situation. We are requiring all non-essential personnel to remain confined to quarters. Consider this an order.”

With nothing better to do, and your heart having taken up permanent residence in your throat, you both head back to your quarters. Your heart aches as you fall into your bunk, which you had made roughly before you rushed out earlier, desperate for any news on the situation Jake was flying into. The pillows still smell like Jake, and if you screw your eyes shut tightly enough, you can still feel the tight press of his arms around you. You want nothing more than to rewind time, to go back to those few precious hours in the middle of the night when you’d had him in your arms - when you could’ve kissed him and when you could’ve told him you loved him. The what-ifs crowd your brain like a feral swarm of bees, sending your thoughts buzzing angrily. The more thoughts crowd your brain, the worse you feel.

You don’t think you can stand losing Jake. You just found him. That small seed of something between you has only just sprouted. You want to see it grow and flourish into an oak tree; tall and sturdy enough to withstand earthquakes, forest fires, lightning strikes, and flash floods. A tree strong enough to support a treehouse filled with tiny feet, hands, love, and laughter. But you’re not sure that you’ll ever be able to see that nascent sprout grow. Not when half of your heart is in a jet potentially flying into enemy crosshairs. Not when you last told him, “Come home so I can tell you I love you for the first time” instead of the “I love you” he deserved. The “I love you” that you had seen he had so desperately wanted to hear. Why had you said that? What if your words, your ardent pleas, weren’t enough? You aren’t omnipotent. You can’t change the trajectory of missiles or bullets. You have no control over anything, not even your racing thoughts as you realize that you might never see him again. Are you going to be cursed to spend the rest of your life imagining the what-ifs of an entire life that could have been?

It’s been hours since you and Mara have been confined to your quarters. Periodically you’ve heard the roar and whine of aircraft engines as they touch down and take off again. Every time you hear the engines’ roar, your traitorous heart skips a beat. You wait, staring at the door, hoping that Jake will bound through, Mickey behind him, still in his flight suit with his hair sweat streaked and sticking to his forehead. And each time, your heart drops to the bottom of your stomach as the minutes pass and you hear the engines tick up again.

"Hey, you doing okay, Bitsie?" Mara’s voice shatters through the daydream you had crafted and it hurts. All you want is Jake in your arms once more, feeling his strong body against yours, hearing his heartbeat in your ear as he holds you close.

"As okay as can be expected, Mar." Your voice is thin in the silence of your quarters. Mara’s sitting on the sole desk chair while you’re curled up in your sheets. They don’t smell like Jake anymore. It’s driving you crazy, not knowing. You’ve cried what feels like an ocean’s worth of tears and your eyes are swollen and puffy, your voice thick and hoarse from your muffled sobs.

“Do you want to talk about what happened between you and Jake last night? He kissed you this morning. You can’t tell me he’s just a friend. Not after that.”

Her voice is gentle, her eyes and hands beseeching as you try and fail to find the words. You drag your hand down your face before facing her, letting your legs dangle off the bed as you rest your elbows on your thighs.

“He’s not just a friend, Mar. He might be everything, and I was too stupid to admit it before now. Once bitten, twice shy, and all that, you know?” There is lingering bitterness in your tone, frustration at yourself for the mistakes you knew you had made in not choosing Jake in the first place.

Your breathing is ragged as you push away the hot feeling in the back of your throat. “I don’t know when it happened. Honest. I didn’t even know I had him, you know? He told me last night that he was interested in me from the moment he met me. But when I picked Bradley, he backed off because he knew that Bradley would treat me as I deserved. That Bradley would love me in a way that he couldn’t. He was wrong. And I was, too, Mar. How do I make the right choice when that choice might not even be here after today?” You are crying again. Somehow you still have tears left to cry, staring at the wall in front of you, these last tears dripping down your chin, marking your pants with the remnants of your despair.

“I - I don’t know.” Her position mirrors yours as the two of you stare at each other in silence. “But you can’t give up hope. You know they’re good pilots. They’re the best of the best, Bits. If anyone can pull through, it’ll be Jake and Micks. They have to.”

You clasp your hands tightly until all you can feel is the aching stretch of over-taxed muscles. Mara’s right. You can’t do anything but hope. Hope that the boys are alright and hope that your updates to the targeting and radar systems are enough to protect them.

It’s a runner from the Captain banging on your door who finally brings you news. The poor man is sweat-drenched, panting as he pauses to catch his breath before delivering his message. “The Captain wants you both in the Flight Ops Center. Something’s up with the radar system on Lieutenants Seresin and Garcia’s plane. We need you to help debug and resolve the situation. The improvements you’ve made while working on laser targeting are beyond us.”

“Understood.”

It’s your turn to run through the hallways and have people jump out of your way, Mara right behind you. This time when you enter the Flight Ops Center, it’s pin-drop silent. All eyes are on a singular, all too familiar display. The radar output shows an awfully familiar F-18/A. And you can see exactly why the Captain had called for you and Mara. The display is flickering erratically, jets blinking in and out of sight at random.

With your heart in your throat, you march right up to the tech on the computer system. "Give me your headset and your seat." Your tone leaves no room for argument, but he still protests, turning away from his fiddling with the system, to look at you in both frustration and disbelief.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. I can't do that without the Captain's orders."

"I know. And right now, I don't care. I programmed that radar system. Captain Mills!" You are barking out an order right now, your voice quivering with authority. "Either you get your man out of this seat or I take it from him."

"Let her have the seat, Ensign George. And the headset. I called her here. She's one of the civilian consultants out of the Pentagon who built the damned thing."

You accept the headset and start examining the display in front of you. Pressing a button on the side of the headset you connect to Jake and Mickey's comms. "Auxiliary Patrol. This is Flight Ops Control. How read?"

"Audio clear, Flight Ops Control. How do you read me?" Your heart jumps when you hear Mickey’s voice emanate clearly through the headset.

Your relief washes over you, settling your racing thoughts and grounding you as you confirm their audio signals before responding, "Loud and clear, Auxiliary Patrol."

This time, when you hear from Jake and Mickey, it’s Jake’s voice on comms. "Auxiliary Patrol, we’re seeing multiple bogeys on the radar, but they’re ghosting in and out. Can you confirm?”

“Confirming loud and clear. We’re seeing the same thing here.” Your frustration colors your tone as the radar display glitches in front of your eyes."Do visuals confirm what the radar is saying?"

"Flight Ops, negative. Visual showing clear skies." Mickey’s voice is slightly cheeky as he responds. You sigh, knowing that you’re going to have to do something drastic to resolve this issue.

“Auxiliary Patrol. Can you turn on the external cameras? Flight Ops will act as your eyes while we reboot the radar.”

“Copy, ops. Cameras are live.” You can hear the slightest flick of the switch as Mickey enables the cameras that you and Mara had been using to help monitor the laser targeting system.

“Captain?”

The man nods, silently giving his permission for the order he knew would come next. “The floor is yours.”

“Right. Teams of five, report to one of the monitors. Keep your eyes peeled. We’ve got aviators flying blind and I’ll be damned if we’re taking home coffins after today.” Your voice leaves no room for protests as you address the room.

The men explode into activity around you and Mara. The two of you, in the meanwhile, keep silent, all your energy on the radar system, scanning the code flying across the screen with eagle-eyes. There aren’t any defects, so you decide to turn the radar back on. “Auxiliary Patrol, this is Flight Ops. We’re rebooting the radar and targeting systems now.”

“Copy, Flight Ops.”

There’s a tense silence blanketing the Flight Ops Center as you hit ‘Enter’ and watch the radar display in front of you blink back to life. It flickers and your breath catches when it stays dark for several long moments before illuminating. It’s finally, blessedly stable. There aren’t ghost bogeys on the screen anymore. Just one very clearly labeled F/A-18A and one very real SU-57.

“Are you seeing what we are, Flight Ops?”

“Copy, Auxiliary Patrol. One bogey, north, northwest bound, approaching your position at 400 knots.”

“Copy, Ops. What are your orders?” Jake’s voice is tense as he spits the words down the microphone.

That’s when Captain Mills finally weighs in again. “Do a flyby, son. Do not engage unless they do. I’ll get on the horn with the COMPACFLT and keep him apprised of the situation.” You relinquish the headset and station back to the radar tech you’d bullied them from and retreat to the peripherals of the room.

The gnawing desperate ache in your chest, the one that had been partially alleviated hearing Jake’s voice, is back again. It’s clawing at you as you clutch at a railing and plant yourself in a corner of the Ops Center. Captain Mills is talking furiously into a satellite phone, you presume to the COMPACFLT. But your eyes are on Jake and Mickey’s jet and their radar display. You can feel each swooping maneuver in the pit of your stomach as their jet approaches the SU-57.

It’s incredibly quiet in the Flight Ops Center as the two jets fly side by side for several long moments. You’re praying with everything you have that this doesn’t escalate, And then, like an answer to all of your prayers, the SU-57 breaks away, heading back in the direction it came.

“Ops, bogey one, now 400 yards away. Distance growing. Permission to return to carrier?”

“Permission granted.”

Captain Mills stalks towards where you and Mara stand. “Thanks for your assistance, ladies. We’re resuming normal operations per order of the COMPACFLT. Your mission will resume bright and early in the morning. I expect to see the both of you and Lieutenants Seresin and Garcia in the Flight Ops Center at 0800. Am I clear?”

“Yessir!” You’re quick to respond with a snappy salute. You’ve trespassed on Captain Mill’s authority one time too many already today with your show of power to the radar tech and for the sake of this operation, you’d rather not step on his toes any more than necessary

Your heart is light as you walk back to your quarters. There’s a sense of urgency dogging your steps, your lips curling unbidden into a giddy grin. By tacit agreement, Mara leaves you at the door before heading to Jake and Mickey’s quarters two doors down. He’s safe! He’s safe! He’s safe! You can’t quell the trembling of your hands as you wait. You reach for a book to read but you barely get a few words in before you’re dropping it again. It’s only been minutes since you left Flight Ops but your heart is doing acrobatics in your chest at the knowledge that Jake is returning soon. You bite your lip, maybe work will quell these jitters.

Of course, right as you pull up the radar system blueprints, the door to your quarters opens and Jake staggers in. He’s stinking of jet fuel, and coated in sweat, but you’ve never seen a better sight. He’s whole and safe and here with you. It’s all that you’ve been wishing for since he left you early this morning. You want to touch him, make sure he's not a figment of your imagination or a cruel dream from the depths of your subconscious. But no matter how you try to get your legs to move, you're frozen before him. That's when he moves, carefully cupping your jaw and drawing your eyes to his.

"I'm back, baby. Safe and sound, just as promised." Jake’s voice is quiet, like he’s afraid that speaking too loudly will shatter the bubble you two have created around yourselves. His eyes are filled with a softness unlike anything you’ve ever seen in man’s eyes before, let alone his. The sight makes your heart speed up, overjoyed to be in the calm his presence brings you.

You return his tender caress before wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling yourself impossibly closer. Jake’s hands are gentle as they bracket your waist before he finally lowers his mouth to yours. His mouth tastes like salt, and he stinks, but you can't begrudge the man you adore this kiss. He's more than deserving of it.

When you part for air, you can feel the imperceptible shudder wracking his muscles as the adrenaline drains away. "Go shower, Jake. You stink." There is a light humor in your tone as you grin up at him, pressing a soft kiss to his jaw, reveling in the minute hitch in his breath as you meet his eyes once more.

His pout is sweet, and you can't resist pecking his lips once more as he turns and walks back out the door. It's only twenty short minutes later when he walks back in and collapses into your bunk. His hair is still damp, the longer hairs at the top of his head curling slightly as you pull on your own pajamas and crawl into the bunk next to him.

He mirrors your positions from the night before, tugging you in until his head rests against your breasts and you can feel his warmth across your whole body. You card your fingers through his hair, content to sit in the silence as long as he needs you to.

"Talk to me, baby." His voice is hushed and muffled against your breasts as he breathes deeply. "Tell me how you're doing."

"I feel like I should be asking you that, Jake. I was a wreck when you were up there, but I'm better now. I'm always better in your arms." You hope he knows that you mean every syllable, and you do. A selfish part of you wants to stay in his arms forever; just the two of you in your own little bubble for as long as you can.

Your throat is tight with the same tears you'd shed all day as you trace over the curve of his ear. "I love you. I should've told you before you left," you whisper, scared to say the words any louder lest they be ripped from you both.

Jake gasps before kissing you again, hard. He pours all his love and affection into the kiss and you return the ardor as best you can. The two of you kiss for several long moments before he rests his forehead against yours. You lie curled into each other for a while longer before you nuzzle at his cheek.

"Why d'you call me Bitsie, Jake? I've been wondering for a while."

He chuckles before pecking your lips and dragging you in until your lips are pressed to his collarbone. "I started calling you Bitsie because of the first demonstration of the radar you ever gave us. You were talking about manipulating bits. Gosh, it was probably only a couple of weeks since you'd come to Miramar. I was so gone for you already, baby. You're gorgeous, sweet, and smart as a whip. I wanted to show you I was listening to what you said."

"But I didn't take it that way. I was so rude to you the first time you called me that. I thought you were making fun of me." Your voice is soft as you trace a light pattern across his ribs. Your thoughts race as you catalog every interaction you remember having with Jake over your months in Miramar. Had Bradley Bradshaw really brainwashed your perception of him so terribly? Your mind races as you try and fail to find an explanation for your actions. They’ve been petty and rude and you don’t recognize the girl you are in them.

“Why didn’t you say anything? Why did I assume what I did? Jake, how can you ever forgive me?” You hate how small your voice is, the regret at your actions over the past months coloring your tone.

“I can forgive you, sweetheart, because I love you. I have for a really long time,” Jake soothes, one hand cupping your jaw. “And you had a Chicken on your shoulder telling you who was right and who was wrong. Him and I? We have always been on the opposite ends of that scale. And I’ll give you one guess as to which of us is where.”

“He’s wrong, Jake. He’s wrong about you, he was wrong about me. We’ll show him. I’m not hiding this. You’re mine, now. And I want it all with you. Dates, kissing because you feel like it, dancing to the Jukebox in the Hard Deck, everything.”

“We’ll write this story with more than words, darling. I promise. And I love you.” You can feel your eyes close as you curl closer into his embrace, all the tension in your body finally draining away as you fall asleep.

In the morning, you’ll be back to working on the laser targeting systems, back to normalcy. But there’ll be something new to scope the limits of, as well. The butterflies in your stomach this time feel like flower petals kissing your skin. It’s a good portent for the days to come.

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