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general-cyno · 2 months ago

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jumps in to add, because I've had a bunch of thoughts about these two:

I think it's very interesting that mydei and anaxa are actually somewhat similar at their core, despite their most superficial differences. while most chrysos heirs have experienced loss and are inherently driven by self-sacrifice, there's something very particular about the way undying mydeimos and anaxagoras the (foolish) alchemist both use their bodies as tools: to fight and protect, for truth and knowledge, and all this for other ppl's sake. for the kremnoan detachment, for a mother, for the grove, for a sister, for amphoreus and its future. they even tend to refer to their bodies in a bit of a detached manner too.

mydei: but after nine winters, this body of mine crawled out of the sea... even the reaper themself had abandoned it. // on the battlefield, the only thing I can rely on is this undying body. (voicelines)

anaxa: this body... has long been tempered by near ruin. (trailer). // step over my body and take the torch from my hands. use me as the firewood to ignite the flames that will bring light to the truth! (profile stories).

after anaxa is brought to okhema following the invasion of the grove, one thing he does is approach the relatives of his fallen peers. something that stood out to me is his conversation with a kremnoan lady who'd married a scholar, the latter of which died during the siege. while castorice and TB are kind of baffled that she'd ask whether her husband defended the grove to his last breath instead of anything else... anaxa understands and reassures her that he did - as though he genuinely, intuitively understands how important sacrifice, honor and fighting to protect what one cherishes is to someone, and not just anyone, but a warrior of kremnos in specific (which I think he does! he's also no stranger to death and sacrifice under such circumstances). which, needlessly to say, could make for an interesting dynamic between him and mydei.

(plus, now we know grove scholar x kremnoan warrior relationships are indeed a thing.)

the above brings me to another point and it's that sense of alienation entangled with duty they both experience:

mydei is beloved by his people, yes, but kremnoans (and outlanders) in general are subjected to in-game prejudice, especially within okhema, due to the history between the two cities. aside from that, mydei is introduced as "the lion apart from the rest" and struggles a lot with his kremnoan bloodline, kremnos' violent history, with how his people (including the young who never even got a chance to be born nor live in the fortress) view and yearn for kremnos as a home when he... doesn't, not quite. still, he takes the role of protector and leader, and, even when he's aware he will be resented for his decision - he chooses the course he believes best to guarantee their safety and future, subjecting himself to a lonesome and battle-ridden path to ensure it. in contrast yet similarly, while there are students and some peers who do care for and respect him, anaxa is generally loathed by the majority. nevertheless, anaxa decides to singlehandedly shoulder the burden of defying the rules of the world, of uncovering and sharing the truth, no matter how it puts him at odds not just with his fellow scholars and heirs but pretty much the rest of amphoreus, for their sake and the future too, because well. as unhinged as he can be about it, he cares.

(not to mention how these sentiments were inspired in both of them by important familial figures - namely, mydei's mother and anaxa's sister, who play a prominent role in both their stories and motivations.)

another thing is that they're both rebels of a sort. anaxa more blatantly so, because of his character revolving around the idea of denouncing the gods/titans and rejecting the prophecy, and even as a kid he already dared to question the world around him - but I'd argue mydei is one as well. he is the undying mydeimos who fought his way out of sea of souls as a child, who rejects the call of thanatos again and again, and, despite the inevitability of destiny/fate hanging above his and everyone's heads, he still fights and chooses his own path. as he tells castorice in 3.2: control what little you can, and when fate's inescapable grasp comes... resist it with the strength of your mighty will. heck, he even resisted inheriting the strife coreflame initially until the circumstances very much forced him to. this is all something that anaxa, local fate defying blasphemer who values such strong convictions, could easily relate to imo.

there's other stuff like their respective titans being friends in the previous cycle, how "reason" plays a big role in freeing nikador and how this is the same concept that anaxa's own titan embodies, wrath of man vs the sin of pride, that mydei himself already believes anaxa is someone he'd come to appreciate too if anaxa's managed to impress and earn phainon's respect so much, anaxa the dromas lover vs mydei whose dromas adores him so much it went a lil crazy when he left, etc. it's actually insane to me that these two didn't know each other or hadn't interacted beforehand when kremnos and the grove are neighbors on the map, on top of the fact that they have more people in common than not, and for all intents and purposes, could get along nicely. that's what fanon is here for, though.

anyone else think about the parallels between mydei and anaxa......

mydeimos, crown prince of castrum kremnos and mydei, prophesied member of the chrysos heirs. anaxagoras, scholar of the grove of epiphany and anaxa, prophesied member of the chrysos heirs.

with how mydei and the rest of castrum kremnos are labeled as ceaseless warriors, those who only know violence. and what do people usually think of as a parallel to fighting? knowledge. that of which anaxa embodies.

how mydei wants to so badly break the stereotypes and for his people to live their lives without constant battle and turmoil, to know and learn other pleasures in life. with how he was so conflicted about taking the coreflame of strife and becoming the demigod of strife because he did not want to succumb to the same controlling madness that nikador or eurypon did and make his people suffer any more.

they yearn for their prince to lead them homeward - yet that prince has never known the walls they know to be home.

how anaxa does not care for what lies and nasty things may be said about him or his ideals because he believes in himself and himself alone in revealing the fundamental truths of the world For The People and for himself. how he's resorted to unsavory methods in his alchemical ways for the sole sake of truth, no matter if it is ugly or unbelievable to others.

he's manipulated his body so much, losing an eye im a failed attempt to bring his beloved sister back and carving out his heart to be able to craft a stone slate that would help castorice with her given objective. he willingly threw away his life in a last attempt to complete his experiments when the grove was under attack by the black tide, trying to fuse himself with the coreflame of reason, only to fail and die - yet be brought back to life by it because cerces had the same idea.

mydei, in conflict with himself, for his people. anaxa, in conflict with the world, for truth.

mydei and being remembered as Mydei, of the flame-chase journey. not mydeimos, the crown prince of kremnos.

anaxagoras and being remembered as Anaxagoras, of the grove. not anaxa, of the flame-chase journey.

how there are people with memories and recollections of mydei, writings and scrolls, a prince who will not so easily be forgotten or erased from history because of how potent of a figure he is to them. he has people who understand him for Him and not mydeimos the crown prince.

yet with anaxa, every written piece or recollection of him is on the verge of being forgotten or destroyed, and very few people have actually come to understand him as Him and not the blasphemer or great performer of the grove.

DO YOU SEE MY VISION. TELL ME YOU SEE IT.

#hope you don't mind me hijacking your post and rambling op I'm just Not Normal abt them #personality wise I also love that mydei is like #such a fierce; strong warrior but quite tempered and down to earth as well; very pragmatic #while anaxa is like. primarily a scholar (self-proclaimed 'feeble' at that); the logical and seemingly rational type #but crazily passionate; reckless and fierce as well #all in all I'm of the opinion they could match and complement each other's freak #which is always interesting to me in terms of ship and general character dynamics #(they're both my babygirls-)#tp #long post #star rail #mynaxa

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reissancesstuff · 1 month ago

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Hey I've read your fics abt bonten mikey, they're super good n funny at the same time haha. But I was wondering if you'd take requests atm? If no that's alright too! As I was wondering how he'll act if reader had a tooth treatment (like extraction/root canal type) and is unable to tend to him due to the pain and exhaustion. Just had mine tdy, n this idea sort of popped up lol

A/N: AHH first of all—thank you sm for reading my bonten mikey fics!! 😭🖤 i’m glad they made you laugh hehe

and YES I take requests!! i hope your tooth treatment went okay, that sounds painful 🥲💔 so here’s a lil something based on your idea!! soft, clingy mikey but also bratty as always 😌💉✨

get well soon and drink lots of water, okay?? here’s your dose of bonten mikey care lol 🫶

“clingy baby, pain edition”

You’re lying on the couch, face swollen on one side and barely alive after your root canal. The meds are wearing off. Your body feels like a limp noodle. Your soul? Escaped ten minutes ago.

And then—thump.

A very expensive pair of boots lands beside the couch.

"You're ignoring me," Mikey says, staring down at you with those annoyingly unreadable eyes.

"I'm literally dying," you mumble, an ice pack half-sliding off your face. “My mouth hurts, baby.”

"You didn’t say good morning."

"...Because I woke up in pain and forgot I existed as a person?"

Mikey doesn’t respond. Instead, he crouches down next to the couch and gently pokes your cheek.

"Ow," you whisper.

"I barely touched you."

"I’m fragile."

He pouts. Actually pouts. “You always play with my hair in the morning. You didn’t do it today.”

“Oh my god,” you groan.

Mikey sighs dramatically and flops right on top of you, throwing his full weight across your stomach like a spoiled cat with abandonment issues.

"Get off, you're gonna crush me—"

“No. I’m healing you with love.”

"You weigh like, two pythons and a small fridge."

“Still cute though.”

You glare at him, ice pack squishing against your face. “My jaw is literally stitched up and you’re making this about you?”

He lifts his head just enough to blink innocently. “You said ‘your pain is my pain’ that one time. So now I’m suffering too.”

“Emotionally manipulative.”

“You love me.”

“…Unfortunately.”

Mikey smirks and kisses your forehead gently. “I’ll let you rest. But I’m staying right here.”

And he does. Right there. On top of you. A human weighted blanket with commitment issues. Occasionally feeding you mashed bananas with a plastic spoon like you're both an invalid and royalty.

He doesn’t leave, not even when you drool on his shirt.

Possessive? Yes.

Overdramatic? Always.

Loving you like it’s life or death? Absolutely.

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tac-the-unseen · 1 year ago

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I love all ur blog sm!! Can I ask abt something with the slashers (specially Thomas <3) with an foreigner!reader that don't quit speak english very well and normally forget words?

(Sorry if something is spelled wrong, English is not my native language lmao)

Absolutely, I can!

And because the request didn't specify, this fic will strictly be about speaking a foreign language.

Sorry if this is inaccurate! I'm a native English speaker and don't know many who aren't. Sorry in advance!!

Slashers x Foreigner!Reader

Micheal Myers:

•This man will act like he doesn't care but in reality he's so intrigued. (It might be why you're still alive)

•He’ll spend his time watching you practice your pronunciation and recognition patterns, like it's a movie.

•Is he a bit mean about it? Yes. Will he laugh? Probably.

•If you find yourself not knowing what certain words are and stumble around until you find the right word, You'd be surprised at how patient he is.

•If you are very new to the English language he'll secretly get you flash cards and stash them into a place he knows you'll find them

•Despite everything, if you ask him for help, he will help. He might be mute but he can write and use TV to aid you.

Billy loomis & Stu macher:

•Stu is already romanticizing your language, but instead of using the actual name of your language, he calls it “Talking pretty to me”

•Billy asks if you want any text books or study equipment to help you on your English speaking journey

•Both boys are a surprising help! Stuttering trying to articulate what you mean? They've already jumped in to, A) help save you some of the embarrassment, and B) give you time to think about what you're trying to say.

•Someone making fun of you? They're either dead or a social outcast by the end of the week.

•Are you struggling to remember a certain word? These boys are willing play charades until you figure it out. And they won't drop it either, Stu says ‘It’s bad to give up when you've already come so far.’

•Over all it's not so bad (Stu 100,000,000% uses Google translate to figure out how to say ‘i love you’ in your native language)

Thomas Hewitt:

•When both of you met, he had never met an actual foreigner before.

•He knew people travel around and occasionally some valley girl would end up in their small town, But someone from a whole different part of the world?

•His interest in you spiked the moment he heard your accent

•Thomas has so many questions but doesn't know how to ask you

•With him being mute and your struggles with English, It's not the easiest relationship. In the end both of you just end up pointing at things and making noises to get your point across.

•Absolutely loves to listen to you speak in your native language, Even if he'll never understand it.

•When he's first trying to court you, he leaves you slightly damaged flowers (he struggled to pick them) to communicate his affection.

•even with a language barrier, he's gonna love you like no one ever could

Bubba Sawyer:

•He had no idea people outside of America existed

•When You fell into the palm of Texas and his brothers found you failing to remember the word for your favorite snack, They knew you would be an easy target.

•When they kidnapped you and brought you to the basement so Bubba could chop you up, he was fascinated by the way you desperately tried to beg him not to kill you.

•It ended in a huge fight in the family, But he got everyone to let you live a bit longer.

•Sits Criss Cross applesauce while you speak for your life. You could babble about anything and he would listen intently.

•He pulls out his alphabet soup machine and spends hours typing with you. (You help him finally get past the clown level)

Bo Sinclair:

•absolute meanie, stinky poopy head about it >:(

•will mock your stutters and say stuff like “Oh come ON! The word is Cat! C. A. T. CAT! What's so hard about that?”

•If you speak your native language around him, He thinks you're insulting him or intentionally hiding something.

•”If you could say it to my face in your language you can say it to my face again in mine!”

•The same sentiment is not shared when it involves bedroom fun

•Will eventually apologize, But that's going to take a while

Vincent Sinclair:

•As another non-speaking fellow he takes his time to make sure you two can understand each other

•He’ll mostly use body language and and little doodles to get his point across

•Stuttering over a word? He doesn't care, he'll let you work it out without any judgment!

•Want his help? He has several books, Vincent will just pull out a book he knows as the word in it, flipped to the page, and point at the word.

•Love listening to you talk, In English or not. He'll happily let you yap his ear off.

Lester Sinclair:

•Poor boy was lovestruck when he first heard you talk!

•Full on heart eyes while you explain where you're from and how you ended up here

•If you end up fumbling on a word he'll start shouting out potential words for what you're trying to say.

•Example: “and then I had too…uh…um..” “Run? Pee? Eat? Were you hungry? Are you hungry right now?”

•So helpful, I know

•But the guy is already googling restaurants based off your native cuisine. He's got the date set up.

•”It's no biggie, I'm a native English speaker and I still can't get it right!”

Billy Lenz:

•Billy 100% understands the struggle of finding the right word to say

•He can't stop stuttering himself, so when you start stuttering you kind of reinforce us in his brain that you were meant to be together

•He feels like he can bond with you over it, and even feel safer around you knowing that you also mess up

•the thing is if you start stuttering, he'll start stuttering. If you can't get it by God he will.

•”W-we can't bo-oth be wrong.”

Brahms Heelshire:

•this man will 100% try to learn your language as soon as he finds out you're a foreigner

•That man has a huge library, there's bound to be at least one book written in your mother tongue

•He spends a lot of time practicing your native language so he can speak to you more comfortably

•You already know he has children's learning books he'll pull out if you ask.

•Can't find the word you're looking for? He's already 10 books deep, he'll find it for you.

•Brahms is a well-educated man and he intends to use His years of learning to help

•If you want to take classes to better your English skills he will 100,000% throw money your way to do so.

Hannibal Lecter:

•Now Hannibal really understands

•He's a Lithuanian who learned English as a 10 year old

•He didn't struggle as much, But for the first couple of months you bet he was stumbling.

•If you're struggling with a word, He has a process of teaching you so you don't forget it again.

1) Identify what you're trying to say

2)Slowly begin to sound out the word

3)Have you recite the word a few times

4)He'll either teaches you a little tune to remember or he'll do something so you remember the moment

•Does it feel a little condescending? Yes. But it works

•He's also willing to pour an ungodly amount of money into your English education if you ask

•He'll even teach you himself in his spare time

Will Graham:

•Doesn't really know what to do, He's a bit awkward about it

•He'll also identify the word and repeat it a few times so you can get a better handle on it.

•He thinks it's a bit funny and a bit cute when you stutter or mispronounce something

•He will gently correct you and move on like nothing happened

The Lost Boys:

•holy fucking shit this is a cluster fuck, let's do this one by one

•David

-David, having been around a while, has picked up a couple languages.

-If he does know the language you're speaking he'll speak it back to you and guide you into English better than the other boys could

-If not, he'll just read your mind and tell you what you're trying to say. It's by far the easiest way to articulate what you mean.

•Dwayne

-Dwayne being just slightly younger than David has also picked up a couple languages

-It's really the same if he does know your language But with a little more verbal teaching

-If he doesn't he'll patiently wait until you figure out what you're trying to say.

•Paul

-as soon as you start to stutter over yourself Paul starts shotgunning words off

-some slightly related to the situation and others wildly out there

-”Drink? Food? Ocean? Horse? The unforgiving eyes of God and His kingdom???”

-he'll do this to confuse you and have a nice laugh

•Marko

-Marko speaks English and Italian, so if your language isn't one of those two you're kind of shit out of luck

-”Come on babe, you'll get it”

-He finds it a bit funny but still tries to help in little ways

Thanks for reading <3

Sorry if this seems hastily written together, I haven't had the request in a while so I kind of jumped at the opportunity.

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vamplvs · 7 days ago

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TOO YOUNG (TO KEEP LOVE FROM GOING WRONG)

INCLUDES -> bob reynolds x ex!reader WARNINGS -> depression, addiction, past drug use, just really bad relationships/significant others all around (only in the past, i promise. they're both working on themselves), panic attacks, angst, hurt/comfort, getting together (again), reader has some undisclosed/implied mental health issues WORD COUNT -> 6.5k SUMMARY -> your history with bob is from a past he'd rather forget, one that haunts him every day, and it all comes crashing back when he runs into you at a coffeeshop.

NOTES -> this fic is my baby, and i've been working on it for nearly a month now. there have been so many revisions and rewrites, but i'm so excited to finally post it! i promise it's not all as sad as it seems, but pls keep the warnings in mind. as always, comments and rbs are much appreciated! also if anyone wants to ask abt my hcs for bob’s scars and such my inbox is VERY open and i have thoughts

every day that bob gets out of bed is a good day, he tells himself. well, that's what yelena and his therapist tell him, so it must be true. it's a good day when he works a brush through his hair, when he makes himself breakfast, and when he does his laundry.

it's a good day when he gets through another chapter of that new book he picked up last week while he was out. he has it marked up with sticky notes, reminders of passages he liked or things that made him think—and, as much as he is loathe to admit it, definitions written in the margins. it's already lovingly worn, and he's only halfway through it. but he can't resist the urge to go back through it sometimes, just looking back at what he took note of and why. it's like his own personal window into his mind. he's sure that dr. fieldstone will have a field day with that if she ever finds out.

it's an even better day when bob finds the energy to go out for the day. he's discovered bookstores, record shops, and even the occasional restaurant he likes. there's a vietnamese place only a few blocks away from the tower that's become a regular take-out spot for the team. a block away from that place is a cat shelter with the sweetest old maine coon named maximus. he belongs to the owner, and bob always takes the time to pet him when he's in the area.

bob's been enjoying running small errands for the team. sort of, anyways. it's not like he likes the errands themselves—there's nothing particularly exciting about picking up groceries, after all—but it's that he gets to do something for the team. it's that he gets an excuse to go out. while they're all off saving the world from this week's supervillain, bob is out getting sugar, eggs, some garlic, and whatever else the kitchen appears to be missing.

today's task, however, is coffee. last night the team arrived worn and ragged after the mission valentina sent them on, and bob's current mission is, hopefully, cheering them up with overly expensive coffee from the place yelena and walker both like down the street. they never seem to go together, but he recognizes their takeout cups with the logo printed on the side. walker would never admit to it, but bob knows he was the one to find it.

the coffeeshop is familiar, even though he's only really been there once or twice with yelena. it's a cozy, hole in the wall kind of spot—just hidden enough that it hasn't been overrun by the hustle and bustle of manhattan. it's got warm lighting and a wall covered in old magazine cutouts and framed pictures that date back decades.

he's got everyone's orders typed haphazardly in his notes—shit, he can't remember if walker wanted his drink iced or not. usually, walker's got a cold drink when bob sees him with one, but the weather's been strangely cold recently, so maybe he's changed his mind. bob certainly would.

just as he's about to step in line and make a last minute decision, a voice pulls him back.

"that you, robert?" and it's a voice he only just recognizes after years of putting it out of his mind.

he turns and sees you. his heart nearly stops. what are the odds that you're in new york? especially now during his "recovery," as dr. fieldstone puts it. you still look like you, but you've grown now, changed in some way that bob can't quite define. you're still just as beautiful as the last time he saw you. by the time his mind catches up to his ears, discomfort is starting to bleed into the air.

"y-yeah! hi," he puts a hand out awkwardly to shake yours. the weight of your hand in his is familiar, almost nostalgic. the thought nearly makes him recoil.

"long time, no see." you say it with a gentle smile, but he recognizes the way your smile dips when you're trying to be polite. he recognizes the way you scan him for signs, the same way you used to. "you look... good, different."

"yeah, um, getting sober does that, i think." he winces at his own words, remembering the fight you had the last night he saw you through the haze of some cocktail-from-hell he had conjured up with some people he certainly shouldn't have been around. it had seemed like a great idea at the time.

—

though the memory is foggy, he remembers you coming home to him tearing apart the kitchen and yelling about spies and malware.

bob was wired. it's like he was dialed up all the way to 100, and man, was it good. until it wasn't. until he was sure that his phone was tapped, and that there was a camera in the apartment watching his every move. every cabinet in the kitchen had been flung open and searched through, a mess of pots, pans, and cutlery decorating the once neat countertops.

"can't stay sober for a day, can you?" your words were harsh and grating, and it only sent bob further into an emotional free fall. that quiet voice in the back of his mind, the one that lingered when he was high no matter how desperately he tried to erase it, hissed that you weren't supposed to see him like this. he was worked up, angry and scared, and there was no going back.

"you don't understand! they're-" he had gestured wildly around the kitchen, as if that proved anything. as if you could see the government's secret eye on the apartment if he just yelled about it loud enough.

"they're not fucking watching you, robbie, you're high!" there were tears in your eyes, he remembers that now. "you said you'd get sober. two nights ago, you promised." and he remembers how defeated you sounded, the way your voice broke.

"you knew i was like this when we started going out." bob remembers the rage he felt and how sick it made him the next morning when he finally sobered up.

"yeah, but- i mean, jesus, robbie, this is going to kill you someday!" you were across the room from him, and he vividly recalls the way you had backed up when he stepped towards you like it's happening in real time all over again.

"maybe i want it to!" he had shouted. he had shouted at you, the last person in the world who deserved it. the person he called the love of his life. it felt so right to say in that moment, and that's what scared him the most. "finally put me out of this misery."

your face had dropped, and it was the only time that night you had taken a single step towards him. "don't say that-"

"why not? it's true." he had laughed in your face, and god, that made him nauseous now.

"don't you dare fucking say that."

you had left that night, telling bob you wanted him out of the apartment within the next day. he found out later that you were holed up in a friend's place bawling your eyes out.

bob doesn't remember if he ever put your kitchen back together, or if he left that to you.

he's not sure where he was in between your apartment and his own, either. there's a week of missing time that bob woke up from dazed and hurting.

—

you simply laugh, and at least this sounds more real than your smile looked. he's not sure how you're laughing, honestly. he was awful- "i'm glad you're doing better."

"me too." silence settles between you two as bob debates the merits of literally shoving a foot in his mouth. it might be better than everything he's said so far.

"saw you were with that new avengers crew on tv, and i couldn't believe my eyes." he laughs, but it's stilted. do you know about the void, too? "i mean, the robbie reynolds bunking with congressman barnes and the, uh, the knock-off captain america?" you gesture vaguely at the mention of walker, like you're trying to remember his name. "it's totally wild."

"y-yeah, i'm- i got lucky."

before he can say anything else, the barista calls your name. you bid him a quick goodbye, and his palms are sweating by the time you walk out.

the rest of his day goes by in a haze of remembering, a walk down memory lane he'd rather not take. he stammers his way through the coffee order, and nearly gets run over by a very angry taxi driver on his walk back to the tower. the drinks get dropped off in the kitchen with a brief text to yelena telling her he's back, and then he's off to his room to read.

because today is a good day, he tells himself.

today is a good day, and he's going to get through another chapter of that book if it's the last thing he does.

his footfalls are loud in the wide hallways of the tower. they echo gratingly back at him, getting louder as his heart rises in his throat. god, it's been how many years now? he remembers that part of his life through highs and lows, through the way his breath still whistles out his nose from a perforated septum, and the track lines left on his elbows and thighs. he still can't wear short sleeves, and-

the collar of his sweater is constricting, he realizes. too tight against the skin of his neck, and he can't breathe.

he can't fucking breathe.

his lungs are tight, held close by ribs he's all-too aware of. and his sweater- it's choking him. the once soft fabric slices at his neck like it's a tourniquet. his hands find the cold wall of the hallway to guide him back to his room. he can hardly see past the black spots that speckle his already tunneling vision.

breathing. air. he needs that.

he takes a shaky lungful and pushes forward, stumbling until he finds the door to his room.

the doorknob is icy in his hand, the only solid thing he feels around him. the floor is starting to slip away from under him, and the walls only get closer and closer until they're pressing in.

it's a miracle he makes it to his bed before he collapses outright.

but he does. and it's still a good day because his book is sitting on his bedside table.

if he can just get his hands to stop shaking, he'll pick it up and flip to the next chapter. if he can just get his breath to stop coming up so fast, or get his vision to focus on something in the room, it can stay a good day.

but he doesn't, and he can't. he's frozen in place, trapped within his own too-tight skin, as he lays on his bed, staring out at the wall in front of him. that look in your eye—the one of terror, concern, and worst of all, love—infiltrates his mind unbidden.

the sound of the door opening is muffled, or far away. bob can't quite tell. it should be right there, but it isn't. and he can't get his head to turn to see who's walked in.

"bob?" comes yelena's voice, still miles away from where he is in the vast expanse of his bed. "you've been here for ages." has he? he only just got back.

he makes a small sound in the back of his throat when he feels a weight at the end of his bed, a hand on his knee. yelena doesn't move for an eternity. she just sits, gently rubbing his knee until he can force air in and out of his lungs again.

"bob, can you talk yet?" she says eventually, and that's the reminder he needs to move again. that she's been sitting for so long he needs to explain something.

"i saw someone i knew when i was-" he cuts himself off with an unsteady breath. when i was still using, goes unspoken but heard all the same. he's cold, so very cold—is that why he's still shaking? yelena's warm hand on his knee is only doing so much.

"who?" her voice is so gentle when she says it, like there's something quiet in the air she doesn't want to break. bob wishes she would.

"my- um, my ex." his whole body tenses when he looks at her, but he finds nothing but care and worry in her eyes. "i was horrible when we-"

"hey," she interrupts before he can keep spiraling, "you've changed. i know you have." her hand is heavier on his knee now, a grounding force. but has he? he still itches for that high every day. he misses it. yelena interrupts his train of thought again. she could be a mindreader, and bob wouldn't be surprised. "did they seem uncomfortable?"

"who wouldn't be?" he mumbles into his pillow, a pitiful little sound.

"did they talk to you, bob?" she presses, pragmatic as always.

"y-yeah, they said hi. said they were glad i was going better." at least his voice is less shaky now. small victories, like dr. fieldstone tells him.

"then they don't hate you," and she says it with such finality that he almost takes her at her word. yet, there's a lingering thought: you'd seen bob at his worst, and you don't know the half of what he's done now. hell, even he doesn't really know.

"but-"

"no one talks like that with someone they hate" yelena pauses like she's still searching for the right words, "or someone they're scared of. i wouldn't." she pats his knee a final time before standing. "walker is making dinner, if you want to join us. or i can bring you something-"

"yeah," he says, without letting her finish her offer. the thought of being in a room with walker and alexei makes his head spin.

yelena hums, and bob knows it's a promise that she'll be back.

—

bob returns to that coffeeshop nearly three weeks later. yelena had urged him to go again, and dr. fieldstone agreed. he likes the coffeeshop, and he shouldn't be afraid of seeing his past there. this time he brings his book with him. he's determined to find the small space safe again. so he sits in the corner with a warm drink and his book propped open on his knee.

it's peaceful. there's quiet music playing throughout the shop, and people head in and out in their own worlds, leaving bob to his own devices. he marks up the pages, using his color-coordinated sticky notes to keep track of where he is.

he's glad he started reading it. it's complicated and makes it brain work overtime, trying to catch up on the words he's lost. dr. fieldstone says having trouble reading and understanding is just one of those things using did to him—and, more importantly, that it's something he can get back. so he picked up a dense fantasy novel, the kind with a million made-up names and places, to start on that.

dr. fieldstone was proud of him for it, and he's proud of himself.

"you're back," he hears you say, and his head shoots up, taking him out of his train of thought abruptly. you're standing across from him with your drink in hand. this time he's sure his heart stops beating. "mind if i sit?"

before he thinks twice about it, he nods, dumbfounded.

"i thought i might've scared you off," you say sheepishly, like it's your fault at all.

"no! no, that was-" he fumbles his way through a halfhearted excuse. the skeptical brow you raise is more than enough proof it doesn't work.

"so... you a fan of this place?" your voice is so gentle, deceptively so.

"my friends are." he neglects to mention that the friends in question are walker and yelena.

"thought you'd just give it a try, then?" you flinch when the words come across more confrontational than you intended. "sorry, i am glad you're back, i don't know why i said that so..." you trail off.

"it's okay," he mumbles back. silence settles like a weight between you again.

"what have you been up to outside of, y'know, the whole super team thing?"

he doesn't tell you he's not really on the team. he can't. if he does, that opens up a conversation about the void, and the thought alone has him sweating. "um, therapy, mostly, and some reading." he points to his book with all it's uneven notes poking out of it and dog-eared pages.

"that's good, man! i'm happy for you."

you're- what? you smile at him with so much honesty it's hard to look at.

"what about you?"

the conversation carries on, and it's easier than he expected. it isn't smooth, not by a long shot, but you're still sitting with him, still inviting more conversation.

small victories, he hears dr. fieldstone say in his head.

he can tell you're still wary around him, your smile flickering just enough any time his past comes up. you dodge any response that might be a reminder of your relationship or those several months you spent together. but you're talking and laughing with him, and it's good. it's really good.

it's so good it scares him. his heart's been pounding since you sat down with him, and he hopes you can't see the sweat that's starting to bead on his brow.

it's been an hour by the time you finally check your phone.

"i'm glad we got to catch up, robert," you say with a smile.

"it's just bob."

"right. bob," you amend, trying the new name out. "i have to go, but... think we could do this again some time?"

—

he finally brings you by the tower after several months of meeting up for coffee—several months filled with what started as carefully navigated conversation, that has now turned into something new. you tell him about your own therapy and the steps you've taken to be better. he eventually tells you about dr. fieldstone and the void. he nearly cried when he did it, but you smiled and nodded like he hadn't told you he was responsible for all of new york reliving their worst memories. you had repeated that same, "i'm happy for you, bob. i'm proud of you for doing all this."

he had been ignoring the growing warmth in his chest every time you spoke to him like he was worth something, too.

you're nearly vibrating with excitement as the tower comes into view. when he brought up learning how to cook, you demanded he show off a little. and if his heart raced when you said you wanted him to cook for you, that's a secret he will forever hold tight to his chest.

"walker's an asshole, but he's sorta nice once you get to know him, and yelena's real sweet. she's just a little scary at first-" he spends the walk from the coffeeshop giving you a run down of the team in case any of them are home when you get there.

"so, yelena, huh?" you ask when he's finished with his spiel.

"yeah, what about her?"

"nothing, just- you're so excited when you talk about her." there's something indecipherable in your voice that almost sounds like jealousy, but bob knows better than that. he knows better than to hope for something that won't happen ever again.

and what's he supposed to say to that? any real reason makes his throat go dry. she helped me through one of the toughest things i've ever been through, and i can't even remember most of it? she's become one of my closest friends and understands me like no one else does? except, maybe, for you.

"she's great, you'll see," is what he settles on, and the way your smile stays stiff tells him that isn't the right response.

the tower is blessedly empty when you get there, which gives you and bob ample time to spread out ingredients around the kitchen. he's settled on a fairly simple pasta dish—comfort food—and you've taken up a seat at the island.

"so, what's it like in the tower?" he can feel your eyes on his back as he sets a pot to boil on the stove. his sleeves are pushed up to his forearms, not daring to go any higher despite the heat from the fire.

"empty, a lot of the time." you hum, and then he adds. "not lonely, though. it's just a big space, y'know? when everyone's back from missions or press or whatever, we all have our spaces. it's kinda nice."

"right, yeah." he hears you stand up, and you're by his side in a flash. he doesn't miss the wary glance you send his arms. "anything i can help with?"

"well, uh, the garlic needs dicing." he pulls out two cutting boards and knives—one set for you to dice the garlic on and another for him to chop up onions.

it's quiet as you both work, and a few weeks ago bob would have been desperately trying to fill up the silence with some kind of conversation—if only to keep from having to suffer through your unresolved history. now, though, it's different. it's almost comfortable.

almost.

he's just too aware of your presence next to him, of the way you glance over occasionally. it has goosebumps dancing across his skin. he pointedly stares down at the onion he's slicing, careful not to cut himself. not that he can really get hurt anymore, he has to remind himself.

"how's that new book you picked up?" you ask abruptly, like you can't stand the quiet anymore.

he does his best to breeze past the thought that maybe it wasn't as comfortable as he thought and launches into an explanation of the world and its characters—explaining why he likes the main character, but the villain is sympathetic, too. he still gets caught up on some of his words, like the word he's searching for is hidden behind some mental block, but you don't seem to care.

you listen to all of it with rapt attention. you ask all the right questions to keep him talking, and nod at the right times.

but there's a part of him that can't quite shake the thought that you're doing this for your benefit somehow, that you don't really care. he thinks about the way you kept looking at him, how your eyes landed on the crook of his elbow.

something cold flares in his chest then.

it's only interrupted by yelena's voice from the door.

"bob! you didn't say you were bringing people over."

"you must be yelena! i'm-" you put a hand out to shake hers, but she brushes past you to get to the fridge. bob notices the way you bristle.

"oh, i know who you are," she says with something akin to a feral grin, picking out a bright can of soda, "bob talks about you often."

"does he?" you raise an eyebrow at him, something unreadable in your gaze.

bob shrugs one shoulder sheepishly. "yelena asks about the coffeeshop a lot." he leaves out the part where yelena asks to check up on him, to make sure that he isn't spiraling about it like he was in the beginning. but he's good now, scarily so.

"it's one of my favorites."

"so you're the reason i ran into him months ago!" the harsh look in your eye fades to kindness with a wide smile to match. "i have to say, i'm pretty glad you showed him that place. you've got good taste."

"so does bob," she replies, giving you a brief once over, and you laugh something awkward and stilted.

bob has never wanted to melt into the floor so badly.

"i'm, uh, making some pasta," he says, before yelena can say anything else stupidly revealing, "if you want some after."

"oh, no," yelena shakes her head in mock deference, "i wouldn't dare disrupt the date. besides, i have a mission tomorrow morning." then, she disappears down the hall.

bob hears you make a quiet, choked off sound by his side, turning quickly to get back to dicing the garlic. his ears burn.

"she's nice." you sound so strained that bob nearly laughs.

"yeah, she's..." he trails off, looking for any decent way of describing her. "yelena," he finishes lamely.

you laugh at that, and something uncomfortable and scalding settles in bob's chest.

"so..." you're leaning against the counter, now, looking at bob, but he can't bring himself to return your gaze. "you talk about me?"

"i mean, yeah, uh, i guess." he very nearly winces at his own fumbling. "yelena knows about... us, and everything. she's curious, i think." and she's determined to meddle with his carefully crafted bubble of sanity he's finally managed with you, apparently. it must be a good sign that he's better, though. he knows yelena, and she wouldn't do that if she still thought he was struggling like he was all those months ago.

"right, of course." he catches your eye for just a moment, and sees that same, frustratingly unreadable expression. "and she's the type to joke about this being a date?"

his ears go hot, and he looks back down to the cutting boards in front of him, making quick work of gathering up the diced garlic and onions and tossing them into a pan with some oil. "i guess so, yeah."

tense silence settles over you, and it makes his skin prickle.

"so, if this were a date-" bob makes a concerted effort not to choke at the thought, "would she still be making jokes?"

"probably. she's like that," he manages, voice thin.

"okay, good to know."

he doesn't know what to do about the softness of your voice, or the racing of his heart, so he focuses his attention back on the stove instead.

—

yelena nearly doesn't come home from the next mission.

there's blood pouring from a wound in her side that the others refuse to tell bob the details of. her steps are uneven, breath too ragged, and bob can't think straight enough to be of use in the med bay. alexei is the one to carry her there, while bob stays frozen in place.

it's one of those missions where valentina makes sure to rub in just how useful bob would be if he was smart, or maybe strong, enough to manage being sentry—and the void. if he had been out there, would she have gotten hurt? could he have stopped a bullet or a knife? why won't anyone else tell him what the hell happened?

"bob," comes bucky's voice from behind him, and a heavy hand presses on his shoulder.

"yeah." his voice is rough, unsteady. it takes effort not to flinch away from bucky's hand.

"this isn't on you." how bucky's able to read him so well, bob will never understand. "she'll be fine."

there's something soothing about the low rumble of bucky's voice that has bob retreating to his room, footfalls heavy on the tiled floor. the image of yelena covered in blood plays through his mind again and again, superimposed over valentina's incessant urging for him to crawl back into the suit.

but he swears, just out of the corner of his eye, that he can see black, wispy tendrils of the void clawing at his skin and the walls.

he sits at the edge of his bed, picking up the thick hardcover on his nightstand. he can't quite read anything on the pages, eyes darting over words that warp and twist in front of him.

dr. fieldstone is only a call away, he knows that. she's on call for a reason, for moments like this where it feels like months of progress slip through his hands like sand. but his phone is already buzzing in his pocket when he pulls it out with numb fingers.

he sees a missed call from you and a series of texts:

we're still on for coffee right?

hello?

it's been an hour where are you

everything ok?

bob can't move. he stays frozen, looking down at the already dimming screen of his phone. shit.

his hands won't cooperate. they won't open his phone, shaking too badly to type in his passcode as nausea climbs up his throat.

shit, shit, shit. he was supposed to meet with you for coffee, like always. before yelena came back with a hole in her side, before his knees locked in the common room, before valentina's whispers of failure wormed their way through his head. before the shadows in the corners of his room had started to grow faces.

he can still make it out to you. it can still be a good day, despite yelena laying in the medical bay or your missed call or bob's rising panic. dr. fieldstone can tell him as much, if his fingers will just dial the number.

but that means months of work with you gone. that means you seeing him like this again, breathing hard and fast, tears burning in his eyes, and the sting of bile in the back of his throat.

—

"robbie?" came your voice from somewhere in the apartment, but bob couldn't lift his head up from the bathroom wall. his body ached. "hey, where are you?"

he let out some kind of garbled sound halfway between a grunt and a sob. you were in the doorway moments later, eyes wide with panic. they softened upon seeing him curled up against the wall, and you were kneeling by his side before he even saw you move.

"hey, you're okay," you muttered, tugging him tight against you. "everything's okay, now."

"n-no, it's- fuck." his hands scrabbled for purchase against your back, like that would keep him from falling further into a spiral. he couldn't speak, couldn't find words or put them in the right order, like they were blended together in a horrible smoothie of vowels and consonants.

it was always like this when he came down. the panic, the incoherence. and you were always patiently waiting for him to start taking deep breaths, to think.

it was two weeks later that you left him in that kitchen.

—

it takes bob a week to respond to you.

he feels guilty, a pit settling in his stomach every time he thinks about it. he didn't mean to ignore you, but with yelena out and valentina's taunts lingering like always, he barely finds his way out of his room at normal hours.

sorry. yelena's hurt

his screen is already dimming when he decides to send another text.

can we still do coffee next week?

you don't text back for hours, not that bob expects you to. you have a life, things to do outside of respond to bob and go to coffee with him. he understands that, even if his chest hurts every time he thinks about you. he knows that your probable anger is justified, and logical, but it doesn't stop the chill at his fingertips that spreads down his spine.

he spends his day frantically doing anything that needs to be done in the tower, buzzing with nerves. he makes quick work of the dishes that have been sitting in the sink and his laundry. he's done laps around the building, exploring nooks he's never seen before—and finds a great empty office with soft chairs, one of them facing the westward window of the room.

his phone goes off somewhere between one task and the next—when he's still buried in the need to do something before he tears his own skin off.

yeah sure

two simple words, and they have his head spinning.

—

street lamps flicker above him as bob walks through manhattan and towards the coffeeshop. it's later than usual for the two of you—at your request. bob's usual exploration of the city typically happens during daylight, when there's an endless hustle of people for him to fade into.

the city at night time is a different sight entirely. the streets aren't quite empty—they never seem to be, here—but they're quieter than the usual bustle of midday. and everything seems to glow. neon signs, street lights, the cozy warmth of indoor lamps in apartment windows. despite it all, it's still loud. there's a group of college students ahead of him laughing with their bags slung over their shoulders, sirens a block over, and the ever-present honking that pervades the city regardless of the hour.

it's nice in a way he can't quite define—certainly nothing like florida, and for that, he's grateful.

he finds you sitting at a table by the window watching people pass by. you've got a warm drink in your hand, and he's not sure you see him approach until you raise an eyebrow at him and gesture to the drink sitting on the other end of the table.

you ordered for him.

"thanks."

"sure." you pause, and bob lets you have it. "what happened last week?" his stomach dips.

"yelena got hurt." he still sees flashes of that dark red staining the floor, the lingering fear that his best friend could have died and he couldn't do anything to stop it.

"yeah, you said."

"she's okay now. it was scary for a few days, though."

"i bet." every response from you is clipped, and it sends him fumbling for more to say.

"yeah, um, it was rough, y'know? i thought i was gonna lose one of my best friends."

"i know the feeling." even you wince at your tone, no doubt remembering the same things that bob is. your eyes scan over his face for a moment, taking in flashes of an expression bob isn't entirely sure he's making. "sorry, i didn't mean-"

"it's okay. i get it."

but that must be the wrong response, because your brow furrows, and you're standing before he can figure out what the right response could be.

"i should go. this was a bad idea."

"no, wait-"

you're out the door before he can finish, but he's already racing after you. he knows he fucked up by ignoring you, that he should've just come clean, but he doesn't want to lose you over it.

"wait, i'm sorry!"

"bob, enough!" you whip around to face him. the glow of a street light illuminates the planes of your face, casting harsh shadows across it. "just, stop, okay? stop apologizing, stop being nice, stop all of this."

"w-what?"

"we can't do this again. i can't do this again." bob's body goes cold. "this was a cute little fantasy while it lasted, but- we won't be good for each other."

"no, you don't-"

"don't tell me i don't understand, or that you're better now. this isn't about you, bob."

but it is. he knows it is.

"jesus, you're doing it again. enough with the self-flagellation. you're terrified when you're around me, and i can't-"

"i'm not!" his outburst is so sudden that it silences you. "i'm not terrified of you."

"you didn't see the look on your face just now."

"listen-" frustration bubbles in his chest something vicious.

"no," you growl, stepping closer to him. "i see the way you are with yelena, and-"

"is that what this is about?"

"no! it's about the fact that i haven't seen you in a t-shirt, and it's the middle of the summer. it's about the fact that we haven't had a single conversation about us without you veering the topic away like it'll kill you just to think about it." the accusatory finger you jab into his chest burns him.

"okay, fine! you scare the shit out of me," he yells over you, and that keeps you both quiet for one long moment. hell, it seems to hush the whole city. "i just don't want to hurt you." his voice is devastatingly quiet.

"i don't want to hurt you, either," you say, voice cracking around every word. silence settles over you like a cloud. it must be an odd sight, the two of you standing, breathing hard, in the middle of a sidewalk in manhattan. "god, i must be crazy for how much i still care about you, huh?" you run a hand over your face, looking away from him like it hurts.

"yeah, probably." he makes a miserable sound that's something like a laugh.

but you join him, and for a brief moment, he dares to think that maybe he can fix this.

"if we do this, it's-" you suck in a sharp breath, "we can't undo history, okay? that's not how this works."

"i- i know, and i'm sorry, i-"

"no, god, bob, i don't need you to apologize. not again. i just-" you look into his eyes and it's horrible and revealing. "we were both shitty, and we can't undo that."

"you didn't-"

"bob, i left you high, panicking, probably on the verge of some crazy, self-mutilating bender in my apartment. you were scared, and i left you there. and you know what's worse? it felt so right. i was so angry, and i said so many terrible things to you when i was like that."

"that's not your fault."

"yes it is." you sigh. "then you disappeared, and the next time i heard about you, it was on the news. i spent years thinking i hurt you, or left you to die, or something."

bob's heart breaks. none of this is your fault, at all, and it never will be.

"i was so scared for you, and i didn't know what to do about it." you pause, like there's more you want to say to him. he doesn't fill the silence, just lets you find the right words. "and then you disappeared again for a week, and i couldn't stop thinking about what happened to you. if- if you were back on some bender, or hurt, and i thought it was because i made that stupid comment about a date."

"i didn't mean to," he says in that same, quiet tone.

"i know."

"i was scared, too." you look at him with eyes so wide his heart hurts. "i was scared for me, too. and you." he whispers it like it's a secret.

"i know, bob, i know." you pull him into a hug so tight he swears he can hear his bones creaking, superpowers be damned. his hands pull you close, grabbing at the material of your shirt. he realizes, now, that his eyes are stinging with unshed tears.

"can we try again? if- if you want you, i mean," he mutters into your neck.

"yeah, i'd like that." you pull away from him, and the hand you put on his cheek is so gentle that it sends his tears over the edge. you don't say a word about them as you wipe them away. "we'll take it slow, yeah?"

—

the sun sets steadily, lighting up bob's room in the warm glow of sunset. he's learned to love slow days at the tower, where there isn't any pressure to do anything but the things he wants. he takes time to read, to catch up on the movies that have come out in recent years, to lay wrapped around you, of all people.

he's still not sure you're entirely real, if he's being honest. historically, he hasn't had the best luck with the way his life unfolds. it's usually one great disaster after the next—even if his ideas seem great at the time. but with you tucked into his side, maybe things can still turn around for him. maybe they already have.

"i'm glad we found each other again." your eyes are impossibly soft when they look at him. "my friends called me crazy when i said you were the love of my life, but look at you now."

bob flushes, and your laugh is light and airy.

"you're beautiful, always have been. but this version of you? yeah, he's even better." your fingers card through his hair and end up on his jaw. "i can't believe i get another shot with you."

you're telling me, he almost says. instead, he just hums, pulling you closer.

#bob reynolds x reader #bob reynolds headcanons #marvel x reader #marvel headcanons #thunderbolts x reader #thunderbolts headcanons #bob reynolds x you #marvel x you #thunderbolts x you #mcu x reader #mcu headcanons #mcu x you

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pha55ed · 11 months ago

Text

Song Abt Your Break-Up || Formula 1/2

type :: angst tw/cw :: none contains :: lando, oscar, ollie, kimi, paul, summary :: singer!reader make a song about their ex and your fans go crazy - for the better or for the worse. you hope their pr team can fix their reputation... f1 masterlist || f2 masterlist || more here!

Lando Norris | 04 "happier than ever" - billie eilish || fc : gracie abram

yourusername : happier than ever out now! filming was a blast despite the many tears :") thank you for all of the love on this song - hope you enjoy it!!! <3

ㅤㅤ→ user 01: LANDO WHEN I CATCH YOU!!!! LANDO WHEN I FUCKING CATCH YOU!!!! OH MY GOD 📢📢📢

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 02: BRING ME WITH YOU!!!!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 03: guys (y/n) said to not bring any hate to him! she said in an interview that they're cool now!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 04: did you... even listen... to the song....? obv she's lying - she wants the mans balls cut off

ㅤㅤ→ user 05: "you call me again, drunk in your Benz - you scared me to death" OH MY GOSH??? Lando is literally fucking evil who tf does that. Revoke his F1 seat bruh, that shit is so irresponsible

ㅤㅤ→ user 06: everything about this is so perfect omfg, the sadness, the anger, the exposing?!?!?!

ㅤㅤ→ user 07: this is literally giving me flashbacks to my toxic ex, i'm glad she got out

You and Lando were the new "it" couple for F1 for a long time, almost two years of being the top couple. But that was quickly ruined when you both cut each other off after a huge nasty fight. Everyone was speculating on why you both broke up, even stalking you to your house to ask questions.

So you decided to just make a song, a song with all the answers that those big nosed reporters wanted. And holy shit, the crowd ate it up. The song was just supposed to be a hidden song on Spotify, but it got over 200 million streams, getting you awards and so much recognition. You even got a brand deal with Lego, which was a bit random but who would say no to that???

As you arrived at Lego's headquarters to discuss plans with the company - you ran into someone you knew way too well. Lando Norris. You completely forgot that one of McLaren's newest sponsers was also Lego... Did Lego fucking set you up???

But that didn't matter. Because now you were trapped in the awkwardest elevator ride with your ex, the man who once made cry from laughing so hard who is also the man who made you cry for days after ghosting you for a week to party in Miami after his win, doing only God knows what.

You both stood on opposite sides of the elevator, you were hoping he would take the stairs to respect your space - but he didn't. The silence was driving you crazy, and what's even crazier is that Lego's headquarters is fucking 45 floors and you were only on the 3rd floor after 2 minutes.

"(Y/N)", Lando said quietly, as if he was trying to not break you. You didn't move your head or body to face him, only your eyes. "Uh,"

It was as if he collapsed from your glance alone. As if the guilt from losing someone as amazing as you finally hit him as he looked at you. You were no longer his, no longer giving him a soft glance with your gentle smile.

From one simple glance at him, you shattered his harden facade - just like you always do. The tears welled up in his eyes, his jaw slightly shivered from the nervousness he had. But he did his best to keep his composure as he stared back into your cold eyes.

Oscar Piastri | 81 "i wish i hated you" - ariana grande || fc : idk :(

yourusername : the most intimate mv filmed - but it was so worth it <3 thank you for all of the love on the song and an even bigger thanks to my besties who helped me get through filming haha :")

ㅤㅤ→ user 01: i know she said she could never hate him but I CAN!!!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 02: girl she literally has no hate for that man,,, they ended on good terms

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 03: oscar even said he listened to the song recently and said he liked it, but his fav is "bye"?!!!??!?!! like bro he's making a joke out of it

ㅤㅤ→ user 04: oscar pulled a baddie, broke her heart, and she doesn't even hate him??? his rizz is fucking insane

ㅤㅤ→ user 05: her VOICE CRACK IN THE SONG!??!?!?! (Y/N) I WILL LITERALLY JUMP OFF THIS BUILDING

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ yourusername: pls dont omg 😭

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 05: yes ma'm!!! 🫡

Oscar and you didn't end on bad terms, just simply were getting pulled in different directions. Your music career was blowing up and work slowly consumed your whole life. Same goes with Oscar, as he was pushing himself to his limit just to try and get his first win. Which he did recently, you couldn't help but smile and like his post. Although your break up was heart-breaking for the both of you, you couldn't lie and say he was a bad boyfriend.

You were getting ready to head out for your first show of your world tour. Of course, you had to start in Australia, your home town and also the home of most of your fans. It was a huge stadium, packed to the brim that you were questioning the legality of having this many people in one spot.

But somehow, despite the thousands of people in the crowd, you made eye contact with a stupid boy with a stupid smile and stupid bright orange outfit... Oscar, he came to your first show while still in his ugly McLaren polo and jeans outfit, it was painfully obvious that he got an instant flight here just to watch you.

Despite him wearing the outfit you hated so much, you couldn't help but smile at him. His attendance meant so much to you. What meant even more to you was the fact that he was holding up a small poster, perfect size to not block anyone's view:

"Play "i wish i hated you." I need an ego boost"

Of fucking course he couldn't be serious for a second. Your smile only grew as you chuckled at the sign, you couldn't say no to his request after he put in the effort to make a whole poster , even if the poster looked like shit.

Ollie Bearman | 03 "second best" - laufey || fc : marissa long

yourusername : lots of therapy needed to make this song... but it's finally done! second best is out and i hope it becomes you're first choice! (something i never was)

ㅤㅤ→ user 01: praying to fucking god that this isn't about ollie PLEASEEEE

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 02: i think it is, sadly :( they both unfollowed each other and haven't been seen in public since last month...

ㅤㅤ→ user 03: "kissed me with somebody else in mind" OLLIE HOW COULD YOU?!?!??!?

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 04: even crazier is "you swung me around in that midsummer dance, held me in close as you thought of your past." cause that's fucking VILEEE to do to a girl

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 05: literally!!! looking back at old photos of them, she seemed so deeply in love while he just looked spaced out :((

ㅤㅤ→ user 06: (y/n) is better than me cause i would have spilled gasoline on his car during a race

Turns out those 8 months with Ollie were for nothing. Those sunsets in his arms, cold nights in his jacket, and those kisses in the rain meant nothing to him. He did his best to hide it, but you always had a feeling deep down that he wasn't fully committed to you. You just ignored it to keep him longer.

But you couldn't ignore it forever, so you let your curiosity loose as you looked through his phone while he was sleeping. It was wrong to do, but what's even more wrong is for Ollie to spam his ex with over 300+ messages within a span of 6 months begging for a chance with her... So basically throughout your entire relationship, he was missing her.

Fucking 6 months, of Ollie texting, calling, even emailing her, for another chance. Love letters upon love letters proclaiming that you mean NOTHING to him and it's just to distract him from how much he misses her. That he only picked you because you looked like his ex, that you sounded like her, that you would never ever replace the hole that she left in Ollie's heart.

It was insane how much of a poet he was with her and yet you couldn't even get a kiss in public.

But his ex never responded to any of his messages, the last time she checked his messages was about 10 months ago, the exact time they broke up. You're pretty sure she blocked him and he's just messaging a brick wall. But that doesn't matter at all. His words hit you like a train at 200 mph, crushing your heart into a million pieces.

You broke up on the spot, never seeing him again since that day. But he can't say the same. If anything, it's like you haunted his phone. You were constantly on the radio, his for you page, on billboards, God he couldn't escape his guilt even if he tried.

Your song didn't help his regret at all. Now that the fans had a glimpse into the cause of your break up, Ollie was receiving huge amounts of hate every single day, even during interviews with fully grown adults. One time a reporter straight up asked him if he was going to make a diss track on you? Why the fuck would he do that??? That's besides the point, the point is: everyone knew about this drama, no matter their age, job, or interest.

Once again, Ollie went to his favorite restaurant in Italy. Well, actually it was your favorite restaurant, you showed it to him and ever since then, he's never found a place with better pasta. It's ironic since the restaurant he doubted so heavily but ended up loving and never leaving - was the same exact story he had about you...

Although he would beg for his ex for months on end, the second you left he felt the biggest regret and guilt he's ever had. His ex completely left his mind, despite the fact that she finally unblocked him and was texting him back for once. He couldn't give two shits, because he realized what he lost, you.

He spent hours every single day beating himself up for losing you. Hours in the gym to try and run from his problems, but he couldn't because everything led back to you. His favorite pair of shorts that you gifted him, the small sticker on his headphones you placed, the little stuffed animal you both got at a carnival together - God he didn't want you back, he NEEDED you back.

Ever since you left, he was a completely different person. His racing skills dropped, he crashed more than ever, and yet he couldn't even seem to focus since his mind could only think of you. So as he sat in his seat, waiting for his pasta, he glanced around the room to see the back of your head.

It's just a head of hair, is what an outsider would say, but to him, it was your shiny hair that was so easy for his fingers to comb through. How could he ever forget what you looked like. You were all he thought about, after all.

As if his body moved on his own, he stood up from his seat and walked over to you. His mind completely blank on what to say, despite his body being so eager to meet you.

Before he knew it, he was standing right before you. His eyes wide as he looked down at you, his breathe unsteady from nerves, and his hands shaking from how scared he was. Now he was stuck in front you, awkwardly staring at you as if he was hoping for words to magically come out about how sorry he is.

Kimi Antonelli | 04 "two slow dancers" - mitski || fc : rebecca armstrong

yourusername : two slow dancers out now! one of the hardest songs i've ever wrote but i hope you all love it <3

ㅤㅤ→ user 01: literally gonna rip off my skin why would you make this right when i broke up with my boyfriend

ㅤㅤ→ user 02: "it's funny how you always remember, and we've both done it all a hundred times before, it's funny how i still forgot"

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 03: STOP I'M GONNA CRY OMFG

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 02: "to think that we could stay the same, but we're two slow dancers, last ones out." IM THROWING UPPP AHHHHH

ㅤㅤ→ user 03: i can't even hate kimi since the song is so fucking good likeeee

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 04: REAL!!!!! the fact he hurt (y/n) to THIS DEGREE??? to make this master piece is both a blessing and curse

ㅤㅤ→ user 05: (y/n) needs to put her fucking pen down... i can't take it anymore....

Kimi and you broke up on rough terms, but not in the usual "rough" way. Instead of any cheating, fighting, or pain: it was a gradual change within both of you. As he grew, his passion for racing only flourished even more and now he even has a chance at being in F1 next year. Meanwhile, you were still trying to make it big as a musician while struggling in college. The distance between you two grew not only in milage, but also romantically.

You both agreed to split: allowing both of you to grow in your careers fully without having to feel the guilt and pressure of a relationship that was no longer filled with love. It was gut-wrenching, to say the least, to say goodbye to Kimi for the last time for good before you left for college and he left for Italy to train.

The song you made blew up, with millions of people posting about how the relate to it, cried to it, and screamed to it. This was your huge break through song, which only made the rest of the songs on your album a massive hit. You were the brand new rising star of the year, and you were overjoyed.

You were invited to Italy to do a brand deal with Miu Miu, a huge honor and amazing deal. As you wiped the sweat off your hands and let your makeup artist put some light powder on your face, you walked out onto the small stage to do your interview.

But the second you step foot on stage, you couldn't help but make eye contact with someone too familiar: Kimi.

As if time froze, you could feel your smile drop as your heart sunk. Although you knew the break up was for the best, you could never lie and say that you didn't miss him. That you didn't miss his bad jokes, his curly hair in your lap as he slept, his sweet encouragement as you showed him your new songs.

Your eyes stayed stuck on him despite moving towards the seats, that suddenly seemed as if they were a mile away. His eyes stared back into yours, as if he was able to read the hidden affection and small hint of regret of your break up. But Kimi wasn't any different, his face and body said the same exact thing, but in a more forward way.

It was as if his eyes were screaming, "I miss you." a thousand times into your head. As if he was begging you for a chance of redemption, as if he waited 6 months purely to see you in person just to tell you that he still loves you. That he still needs you by his side, and he always will.

Paul Aron | 17 "logical" - olivia rodrigo || fc : _jannah on ig (she's stunning omfg)

yourusername : filming logical is done! mv is coming soon >:) thank you for all of the love for this song. i didn't think so many of you would relate,,, i hope you're all okay <3 connecting with you all has been so healing

ㅤㅤ→ user 01: literally a child of divorce rn... i can't believe paul and her broke up :(

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 02: it's not confirmed for sure if they're broken up though!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 03: (y/n) def wrote this about him,,, "february sky" paul's bday is in february, "i'm sure that girl is really your friend" hinting at his childhood bsf who lowkey ruined their relationship, she's even filming in the desert because she wanted it to be the exact opposite of who she wrote it about - and paul is from the snowy regions of estonia...

ㅤㅤ→ user 04: PAUL ARON BETTER SLEEP WITH HIS EYES OPEN.

ㅤㅤ→ user 05: l'VE SCREAMED THIS IN MY CAR NONSTOP I CANT WAIT FOR THE MV OMGGGG

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 06: "ARGUEMENTS YOU HELD OVER MY HEAD!!! BROUGHT UP THE GIRLS YOU COULD HAVE INSTEAD!!!" 🗣️🎤😭

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ→ user 05: "SAID I WAS TOO YOUNG, I WAS TOO SOFT!!!! CAN'T TAKE A JOKE!!!! CAN'T GET YOU OFFFFFF!!!!!!" 🗣️🗣️🎤🎤💔

You always knew deep down that Paul wasn't ready to settle down. He even told you himself while drunk once, but you ignored it just to keep him around for longer. But eventually, he started to feel stuck - his fear of commitment becoming too strong. He started to talk to other girls, not fully cheating but setting them up to be a rebound if he were to ever break up with you.

And the idea of breaking up wasn't far fetched, since it happened almost every week. You two got into arguments over almost everything, ending up with you in tears and Paul storming out while you sobbed alone. But, only God knows how, you two always managed to patch it up just enough to ignore the issues and act normal again.

But it was draining both of you - mainly you. Paul was good at hiding his emotions, pushing them down and ignoring them for months. You, on the other hand, were more emotional and aware of the subtle resentment you both held for each other.

As months progressed, you made a pros and cons list for him... Your relationship was doomed the second you even thought of that. When you made that list, it seemed as if the cons never ended while the pros could barely even start.

Paul planning his future rebounds, his extremely close girl best friend who never treated you kindly, him hiding you from him family, him not wanting to visit you after his races, him ghosting you for days because he "needed space" despite the fact that you would leave voice memos of you barely able to breathe because of how depressed you were - and so so SO many more.

You ended the relationship, which was extremely hard on your part. Especially since you were the one trying so hard to keep the relationship afloat. But, you never felt so free since the break up. It was as if a ship-load of issues and fear were lifted off your shoulders, you were able to geniunely smile and laugh for the first time in ages. You took care of your hair and makeup again for once, your fashion upgraded massively too.

Although you only broke up about a month ago, you already had so many changes in your lifestyle and yourself that you barely even thought about Paul - unless it was late at night when your depressing thoughts came out. But you always slept those away, ignoring them and suppressing them, something you just learned how to do.

You made "Logical" while dating Paul, you only got the guts to post it after about a month after the break up. Since then, "Logical" was EVERYWHERE. So many people could relate to it, which concerned you, but you were happy to help a community of heartbroken people. But, while your community was flourishing - Paul's was the opposite.

People were wondering how he could fumble someone as talented and gorgeous as you. Everyone knew Paul was cold and apathetic at times, but so many clips arose of him flat out ignoring out. Even worse, a paparazzi released a super old photo of you and Paul arguing in public, with you crying while Paul stormed off like usual.

The hate he was receiving was so extreme that his entire PR team was on fire - making him go on a month long break to try and hope that the internet just forgets about him. It was slightly working, but the hype behind the song was still too high to let Paul come back to film any videos or do interviews.

All of the hate started to crack down on him, making him finally open his eyes and realize how awful of a boyfriend he was. So, he decided to make the first step in improving himself: reaching out to you.

When you saw his number in your phone, your heart sank. A single notification crushed your entire day, making panic rush through you like a broken dam. But, you were able to open it.

When you opened it, you were met with a huge text, a text so long that it could classify as a dictionary. It went on and on and on, about his regrets for hurting you, how he was such a dickhead, how he knows you most likely will never forgive him, and how he loved your song...

f1 masterlist || f2 masterlist || more here!

#formula 1 #formula 2 #lando norris #lando norris x reader #oscar piastri #oscar piastri x reader #oliver bearman #ollie bearman #ollie bearman x reader #kimi antonelli #kimi antonelli x reader #paul aron #paul aron x reader #f1 #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f2 #f2 x reader #f2 imagine

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blubunz · 5 months ago

Text

YAP SESSION 3

— RE chars in general x gn! reader

《MINORS DNI!》

Tags: Sex. Just casual stuff nothing crazy. RE characters includes: Leon , Carlos, Ashley, Jill, Chris, Ada, Luis. Claire is mentioned but I don't write anything horny abt her.

A/N: I have a hunch I'm actually gonna be sick un,, not feeling so great. This is just what j think if it's based on normal stuff like no fucked up messed up situations whatever, just casual lovers making love and what they like.

Consensual.

Ok now that's out of the way, I have some preference in minds, obvi they're purely just my opinions.

Leon is like, the guy who swings with whatever you want. Rough? Yeah. He'll go feral. Gentle? Ok. He'll be so sweet, even moan for you I'd you want to hear them, in which most of the readers in my fic would love. Most of the time it's just you, you, you. Him asking you what you want. Princess treatment or absolutely feral, he doesn't have one in mind, he's just on board with whatever you want and if you don't say anything, he'll ask you what you want anyway while kissing your cheeks so sweetly.

Carlos,, grhfrgrhgrh, he's so bite-able. I think he's the soft type. Like, he can be rough, but most times, he chooses not to if you don't specify anything. He absolutely loves seeing you just getting satisfied and happy, so yes, he'd go rough if that's what you want, just not without you saying. Even when you did something bad, or if you hit him when youre on top, he'd just melt and cradle you in his arms, kissing you, and you two would have some cuddle-fuck session. In my mind, Carlos is very emotional and sentimental in his love life. I can ramble on about the same thing over and over, how he's an absolute king in showering you with too much affection.

Slapping? You're into that, but Carlos is scared of hurting you. Bondage? He doesn't want to see ropes burn into your skin, the only thing should be on your body are his marks and hickies.

So anyways, his biggest turn-on is seeing you getting so, so satisfied. This might make him indulge in overstimulation however, he keeps making you cum and seeing your brain melting after each orgasm. That's right, you don't have to think, just be happy of what Carlos is giving you — pure love and affection.

I don't get much thoughts fron other characters in a sexual way, but I'll think about it like rn. Both Leon and Carlos are hot to me so obvi they're like,, um, long, and,, the first ones I write about.

I think Ashley would be some vanilla stuff, and if you two both try to go into some kinky stuff, things just gets awkward because both of you never really know how to do it professionally, and then you two would just laugh and watch a movie.

Jill is like,, ohmygod,, she's so ourhrorhrirug. The Jill in my mind is like, into the casual stuff, but she prefers handling you as well. She mainly wants to see every once of your reaction so mind you usually sex with Jill will never be a quickie, she doesn't do it slow, but rather she just does a lot of things to finally let you go.

For Claire. No, idk, I never think of her in that way and when i think about it now,nothing comes to mind. I love her character! I just don't associate her with these horny stuff so no.

Chris, big beef guy, I like him too! I think he'd enjoy handling you like Jill. Ok, so he's be like, usually, dominant and rough, hed praise you though, but hes very rough, and he enjoys using his strength to let you know who's in charge. but like, you can put him down no matter how strong you are. One word, one pleading look and you got him all soften up and asking you if you needed anything. Usually, he's never the one to initiate too, he respects you and only fucks you when you want to. If he's horny and you're not then he's holding it in, not even letting you know. If he's not and you are, then, obviously he has the need to satisfy you in every way he could.

Ada is like, I think with how she is in the games, she'd know what you're into by now. You're an open book to her and she can read you. You didn't even have to ask, it's like she knows. It creeps you out honestly, sometimes, at how every time she knows what you need. Maybe she keeps track every month? She knows your kinks too, and when you talk to her, she's like,, "I know,," sometimes she surprises you during sex, turning the usual sex into one imof your kinks. She enjoys seeing you surprised following with the high amount of pleasure that follows suit.

Luis. A bottom.

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legrzybek · 3 months ago

Text

okay im a bit paranoid abt this one so i just wanna say NS//FW FUCKING DNI THIS IS NOT MEANT FOR YOU <//3 YOU WILL BE BLOCKED ON SIGHT please and thank you if someone thinks this is weird freaky shit im gonna actually cry hro

this includes if you publicly like and/or reblog a lot of nsfw content, i'm very uncomfortable with my art that is intended to be something innocent & comforting to me being seen alongside very Not Innocent stuff. eugh sorry

uerm um. yet another moment whne something that i was jusr doodling turned into a full on finished piece IMCRYING

silly azuretime comfort tickles,..,......SORYR IVE BEEN THINKING THAT IT WOULD BE CUTE OK. OK ☹️ im a lil embarrassed but also rly damn proud of the art so . Augh

it makes me happy so,,maybe it'll make someone else happy too :3

also!!!!,,,some fluffy azuretime headcanons i wrote yesterday for my post-forsaken au as a lil bonus thing,,,,,,, wawawa

post-forsaken azure is very careful and gentle, especially when touching two time; they've become more thin and frail while he became taller and stronger, so he's a bit afraid he might accidentally hurt them. yet his claws aren't very sharp, and the vine 'tentacles' have become a lot softer after the spectre's influence over him is lost

he grows rather quite fond of his new body when it's no longer forced to essentially be stuck in 'attack mode', no longer a killing machine that he doesn't want to be. having essentially 4 extra arms is very convenient for a lot of things, one of which is comforting his partner of course <3 in a way, comforting them comforts him too - he's very relieved & happy that his presence can help alleviate the turmoil they still experience,,, happy that they both now have a chance to recover from everything that happened and finally live a peaceful life

when he hugs/cuddles them he just does it in like.this perfect way where they feel the weight of his arms & the tentacles wrapping around them, but it's not suffocating or uncomfortable in any way, basically its fr like a weighted blanket

he also gives them soft massages to help them relax both their body and mind, and light tickles to cheer them up & very effectively distract them when they have horrible thoughts, he even mixes both sometimes, & they always get cuddles afterwards!!! two time usually ends up falling asleep into a very peaceful rest like that

allat physical affection is really fucking therapeutic for two time bc yk. i hc them to be autistic, and everything is just a very nice sensory experience for them,,,, they finally get to have the tender loving care that they lacked for so long

azure also isn't really the type to tease much, he usually just softly speaks some reassurance to soothe two time even more or checks in to make sure they're not feeling too overwhelmed ^_^

two time's most sensitive spots are at the base of their tail & wings, they just instantly melt everytime azure very carefully goes there, it feels so damn good for them HJDGSJ but theyre pretty much ticklish everywhere honestly, azure likes to do this thing where he lays them down on their stomach and moves the tickles/massages along from top to bottom, then when he's done he flips them around to lay on their back and does the same thing so every spot that they like gets some attention, and oh my spawn they absolutely love that

when getting tickled they often need to have their legs restrained because they involuntarily kick around a lot from happiness LMFAO their wings & tail also slightly move around, almost as if they were wagging,,azure thinks it's really silly

also. how i imagien azure found out two time is ticklish asf,,, he was like examining their body condition more closely, and while he was all worried abt how thin they've gotten and all the scars they have 2time was just trying not to lose their shit 😭 he noticed their little scoffs, how they trembled slightly and how they smiled whenever he gently squeezed or brushed his fingers against certain spots nd he kept that in mind for later - lo and behold a new way to comfort them was born HEL

lil dialogue bits of azure :3

"Shh... I'm here now, it's okay... You're doing so well, my Nightshade...I love you...

...See? Doesn't that feel better? Deep breaths... and keep your focus on the touch, alright?"

"Hehe...There you go...All better now.

...You're simply adorable like this...Your laugh warms my heart, I hope you know that...

I'm just... so glad you're having fun. You wholeheartedly deserve it, silly...hehe..."

#forsaken #postsaken azuretime #forsaken fanart #azuretime #two time forsaken #forsaken headcanons #azure forsaken #forsaken roblox #me drawing wow awesome #me writing stuff idk vro #sfw tickle art #forsaken tickles #gahhh i love writing/drawing fluffy stuff #makes me feel comfy #idc if its cringe lalalalalla #my shaylas r HAPPY & RECOVERING 💖

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binniesbooks · 11 months ago

Note

hi fayebae, heres the next one for hyuka! (Cos i just saw a clip of hyuka with his new black hair n in a black shirt, and its like cos now hyuka is buff buff, i was thinking mayb smth abt his chest? hyuka x reader!

basically reader is bffs with tubatu, but well hyuka has a crush on reader! reader has mentioned before that her type is men who exercises and have big titties(if u read my tyun pillow fic you would know what i mean🤭)

whenever reader is around tubatu, she will never fail to mention abt how tyuns chest is getting bigger and will joke abt how he should drop his workout routine. But hyuka didnt take it as a joke, so he actually asked tyun for help on building his titties. So after few mths of training, reader finally notices that hyuka’s titties are growing and that sends her on a conflicting journey, because shes never seen hyuka in that way before. But thanks to his titties now reader is looking in hyuka’s way…

trying to play it off cool and not freak out, reader jokes and asked whether hyuka’s builded chest was meant for her, and well hyuka told her the truth and agreed. which she was stunned(this is clearly inspired cos of that gym pic of hyuka n his chest ofc)

things escalated and well now reader is riding hyuka, hands on his big titties as support (smut: tittie play(reader sucks on hyukas nipples, hyuka does the same for reader, tittie fuck, hyuka asking reader to sit on his face , idk what else but please include as much as u want, these are just my ideas of ehat could happen hehe)

hopefully this is good🥺 love u my love💗(once again do this after ur yj fic if u want unless ure hit with inspiration again😭) i’ll come back soon, kith kith💋

• GAINS AND GLORY

HK 002 .F22 2024

wc 3.3k

pairings buff!hyuka x reader

warnings tits play (both ends receiving), multiple marking (scratching and hickeys), unprotected sex, creampie, manhandling (+ anything I've missed)

faye's note the asks be rotting on my inbox, I'm sorry omg 😭 but here it is, coz they're hunting me at my FYP AHAHAHA! Although I see Kai as a softie (the reason why I still incorporated fluff elements in this fic), I think I still love this one, omg! For tho who are waiting for Hyuka's fic, I present to you, Gains and Glory! Please enjoy! 🙂‍↕️

"How is that even possible? Are you cheating? You're most probably cheating!" You frowned after being beaten for the nth time by Taehyun in the game you're playing. Taehyun proceeded to flex both of his arms and laughed at you.

"I don't wanna play with you anymore!" you complained, "Kai! Come here, come play the game with me instead! I don't wanna play with Taehyun anymore!" You called for Kai and the youngest scrambled towards the couch you were sitting on.

"Give the controller to Hyuka, I hate you." You pouted at Taehyun. Taehyun handed the controller to Hyuka and he attacked you with tickles.

"Soobin! Can you grab this man? Wait -- wait!" He was tickling you so much and you were thrashing around causing him to flex his muscles.

You have been friends with the five of them. Despite their very busy schedule, they always find time to at least spend a day with you. Or even a week if their schedules were a bit loose. Every weekend, you would find yourself in their dorm. Laughing, eating, playing, sleeping. Name anything that friends do, and you're sure you would have done it with them.

They never complained about having you around, if anything, they were thankful because, at least once a week, they could refresh their mind and unwind. And your favorite time? It was when you and Soobin baked cookies together. When you and Yeonjun stroll the streets to take some Instagrammable pictures. When you and Beomgyu spent time quietly - which was ironic because you two are the loudest when together - with arts; either painting or drawing. When you and Taehyun would watch exercise videos together, obviously with him exercising while you laze around, sprawled on the couch. And when you and Kai were together, you guys would end up shopping for plushies even though he had millions of them already.

Other people tend to look at you with judging eyes. They even talked about how you were giving the 'pick-me-girl vibe' which you and the guys often laughed about. You were their friend even before they debuted and your mind never wandered beyond being anything more than friends with them -- or so you thought, yeah.

"Back from the gym again?" You felt a presence behind you while you were cooking dinner. You didn't have to turn around to know who it was. The scent was enough for you to decipher who it was. The fresh soapy scent - because after his gym sessions, he would take a bath before coming home, and the mild smell of the mist he was using, you knew it was totally Taehyun.

"You know us so well that you can now tell who it is just by our scent huh." His head pops on your shoulder as he brushes his cheeks on yours, emitting a soft chuckle from you. "Tae, you're not beating the cat allegations again." "Hmm, don't care." He shrugs as he gives you a back hug. "Welcome back home, by the way," you answered.

Hugging them was the most intimate interaction you had with the guys. But the hugs were never sensual at all. They always just felt safe and at home whenever they melt in your embrace. They could feel all their stress and tension disappear just with a simple hug from you

Kai was humming while hugging his plushies when he stepped in the kitchen and saw you and Taehyun hugging. "Guys! Taehyun is hogging y/n to himself! It's not even hug time yeeeetttt!" Kai yelled causing every door in the house to burst open with resounding complains. "Hey, that's not fair!" Beomgyu pouts as he crosses his arms. "It's not hug time yet! This is so unfair!" Yeonjun tried to pry Taehyun's arms off you. "Y/n, stop hugging Taehyun before I throw your things out of our dorm." Soobin was pouting at you as he stomped his feet.

"Okay okay! I'll do it later then!" You laughed as you stopped hugging Taehyun and Yeonjun pulled him away from you. Taehyun even complained that he was just too tired from his gym session and needed a hug, only to be met with a plush that Kai threw.

"Dinner's not ready yet?" Kai sat on the chair not far from you cooking. "Almost done, Kai, go prepare the plates," you smiled.

Soobin and Beomgyu were the ones who were scheduled to wash the dishes. You thought that they shouldn't be scheduled at the same time because the soaps and bubbles would be spilling everywhere due to their bickering and playfulness. Kai, Taehyun, and Yeonjun were sitting on the couch with you, busy watching the TV, with Taehyun and Yeonjun being topless.

You were too used to the guys being half-naked around you. It was like a norm for you to be around so there was no use in making a fuss about it. They often remove their tops just because. Yup, no reason at all, they just do it.

You turned your head towards Taehyun, "You're working on your chest, aren't you?" you asked, noticing how big Taehyun's chest was and how they often looked bigger whenever he wore a tight-fitted shirt, which he nodded. "Are you finally coming to your senses and making a move on me just because I told you how I love men with big tiddies?"You teased and laughed heartily as he looked at you with the same disgusted expression he maintained throughout his life.

"Y/n, you know I love you and know how much I value our friendship, but if you want to keep being welcome here, please avoid saying things like that." And Yeonjun burst out laughing at Taehyun's answer. "You! My goodness!" you just rolled your eyes while still laughing.

"Why not drop your exercise routine? So Yeonjun can start working on his flat--" You were cut off with a pillow being thrown at you. "Yah! My chest is buffed too! They're not flat!" Yeonjun yelled at you.

Unknown to your eyes, Kai's ear perked up, and hugged himself as he felt his own body subtly. He looked over to Taehyun's chest and back to his own chest. He stayed silent, as he watched you guys.

"Hug time!" Kai yelled when the clock struck 10, and all of them gathered around you, lining up as they patiently waited for their turn. "Are you going to stay the night?" Yeonjun asked while taking his time hugging you. "Will do, I want to cook breakfast for you guys before your busy schedule starts again," you answered, he pulled away and mouthed goodnight and Soobin almost shoved him out of the way.

"I want some pancakes for breakfast," Soobin silently whispered as he hugged you tightly, almost covering you with his big frame. "Of course whatever you want, Binnie."

"Goodnight y/n, please rest well too." Beomgyu shortly commented as he hugged you and you hummed back.

"I love you but I think I should start hating you." Taehyun's disgusted look never faltered and you just pinched his cheeks while laughing.

All the other four were already heading to their rooms but Kai was still standing in front of you. You opened your arms for him as he slowly walked towards you, tightly clutching his plush in hand.

"What's wrong?" you asked as you sat up straight. Kai plopped down beside you and melted in your arms as he hid his flushed face which was unknown to you, into the crook of your neck. "Goodnight y/n," he simply whispered. "Sleep tight, Kai, I arranged your plushies earlier," you said as he stood up and walked towards his bedroom.

The next day, you wake up early to cook breakfast for them before they start their busy week again.

"We'll be busy with our upcoming comeback again," Soobin sighed as he poked the pancakes on his plate.

"Cheer up guys, you know I'll be here when your schedule is done." You tried to cheer them up and forced them to finish their breakfast before leaving.

4 months. For four months they were so busy that they weren't able to spend a day with you.

When you went back to their dorm, two guys were missing in action. "Where are the others?" you asked as you removed your shoes. All three heads snapped to where the voice had come from, only to find out that it was you.

"Y/n!" They all screamed almost in unison, as they rushed over to you, dropping everything they were currently doing.

You took a nap that afternoon while waiting for the other two to come back when you woke up to the unfamiliar yet familiar scent. Your eyes roamed around, and Kai and Taehyun caught your eyes. It seemed like they had just taken a bath a little while ago, given that their hair was still damp.

Kai noticed that you had just woken up so he cramped his big body lying down beside you on the couch. You chuckled and tried to push him away but he didn't budge.

When he sat up, you noticed how his shirt was sticking against his chest. "Wait a minute, I was only gone for a couple of months... What is this?" you questioned as you poked Kai's chest. Kai felt embarrassed to answer and scooted over to Taehyun. Taehyun answered for him instead, "He's been going to the gym with me. I don't know what has gotten into him though?"

You were in awe. Taehyun's chest was big but it looked like Kai's chest now was bigger. Especially considering that he had a bigger frame than Taehyun. In the past, Kai was so adamant about not going to the gym, he preferred cuddling with his plushies, telling the other guys that having a baby belly was cute, just like his soft plushies. But as you look at him more, it looks like he isn't the baby you used to know anymore, he has become buff. And only within just a few months at that.

That night, you were awfully silent. Your eyes kept on wandering back to Kai's chest, subtly, not wanting to be caught. Your mind couldn't help but wonder the reason behind Kai's new buffed-up body.

That same night, all of them went to bed earlier than usual. They just wanted to sleep longer. They claimed that their bed had missed them because, for four months, they weren't able to be in their dorm, nor sleep in their own rooms.

You, on the other hand, couldn't fall asleep. Suddenly the guest room felt so big and empty. You didn't know why but you kept on tossing and turning. At that moment, you heard footsteps that stopped right in front of your door. You immediately sat up, waiting for a knock on the door. Which it did. Someone had knocked thrice before pushing your door open. Only then did you realize that you probably forgot to lock it because you were spacing out too much.

The dim light from the hallway shone through the slightly opened door. "Hey, why are you still awake? Can't sleep?" You asked. He closed and locked the door behind him, the room now too dark for anything to be seen. He walked towards the window slightly opening the window, allowing a bluish-yellow light coming from the moon to penetrate throughout your room.

The bed dipped down at his weight, and he crawled up to you, burying his face in your neck, his body now, almost on top of you. "I...I missed you." He whispered, as he tightly hugged you.

"Kai..." You felt how his heart thumped harder the longer he hugged you. This was new. No one ever did this to you, not even when Yeonjun was sick when Soobin got his first breakup, when Beomgyu failed to win the art contest, and even when Taehyun wasn't allowed by their manager to flash his abs at their show. Kai's hug and whisper felt different. As if he was longing for something else.

"I missed you too, you surprised me." You answered when he pulled away. Only then did you finally see him, he wasn't wearing his shirt. You've never seen him topless before. But now he was, and he was right in front of you.

Maybe it was the heat of the moment, but your finger landed on his chest, gently tracing his buffed chest. "Did you, by chance, do this for me? Because you heard I want men with big tiddies?" you joked. But you were stunned when he nodded. "I actually d-did in fact do this for you, I wanted to surprise you since it's b-been four months since I last saw y-you," his voice was shaky as he spoke.

"I-i've been wanting to tell you this y/n, but I just couldn't bring myself to s-say it. Not until now." Kai's face was so close to yours that you could inhale his minty breaths.

You wanted to push him, but putting both of your hands on his chest felt like it might be crossing a line. You felt how hot his body was. The warmth of his body, radiating through his skin, felt electrifying to you.

"I know it's weird... But I couldn't help but have a little crush on you," he carefully whispered as if someone else was in the room to hear it. "One chance y/n, please give me one chance." His forehead now resting against yours, his eyes were filled with longing. The room was so thick with silence that you could hear him gulp.

"Y-you're lucky I'm into big g-guys like you," you squeaked, and your heart swelled at how a bright smile had crept onto his lips.

He placed his hand over yours, which was resting on his chest, and guided you to squeeze it. His soft strangled whimper sent a shiver down your spine.

The wind blew making the curtains on the window flutter and the hair on the back of Kai's neck to stand up. He finally propped himself with his two hands supporting his body as he leaned in closer to you. You ran your fingers to his perked-up nipples and your eyes watched closely at how he bit his lips and how his eyes fluttered.

"You're brave. Coming to this room without a shirt on, and confessing your love." You commented as you roll his nipples between your fingers. He gripped onto your sheets as you chuckled at how he was holding his moans back.

"We're downstairs, you can let out your moans. They won't be able to hear it." Your taunt got him opening his mouth as he let out all those muffled moans he had been holding back. His body trembled at your touch.

You slowly push him down as he keeps on backing up. You finally pushed him to lie down when his head could no longer lie on the bed. His head was now hanging off the edge, and it was making him dizzy with how his blood was rushing to his head while you were licking his nipple.

"Fuck!" He whimpered when you subtly bit his nipple. "Y/n..." He holds the back of your head as you continued sucking. His toes curled at your tongue, rolling and swirling around his nipple.

"To be honest, I've been thinking what could've been your reason for this, but turns out it was all because of me," you chuckled as you kissed the tip of his nose.

Your touch felt like fire over his body. His stomach swirling, his mind blurry. He never thought you'd give in to him.

You dipped your head down again as you littered his chest with splotchy red marks. Leaving some near his nipples, on his shoulder, and on his neck. Kai was a moaning mess under you as he kept on trying to hold his head up, but was always failing. His moans and the rustling of the sheets filled the room.

Since he was being discreet with his moans, you decided to catch him off guard and grind on him. His moans became high pitched and more slutty. You chuckled, the cute guy you often care about was now a totally different guy underneath you.

You felt a wet patch on his sweats, "Did you just come?", you asked as you pulled away. "D-don't look!" Kai tried to stop you but it was too late. You ran your fingers on the wet bulge of his pants. "Kai, you're naughty," you commented, and he only answered with a whimper.

He sat down and pushed you down, to hover above you. "Not fair," he pouted and lifted your shirt over your chest.

"Kai, I swear if you do what I di-" you weren't able to finish your sentence. His mouth was now on your boobs, sucking on your nipples, rolling his tongue again and again. "K-kai.. Kai..." Your breathing was unstable as you squirmed, and you kept on chanting his name along with whines and whimpers.

Just like how you did for him, he also littered your chest, neck, and shoulder with love bites, he was now smiling at how they looked under the moonlight from the window.

"Pretty," he smiled and crashed his lips over yours. The kiss was hot. It wasn't sloppy but it felt eager.

Kai pulled back, sat down and pulled you onto his lap. Your left hand was on your back as he held it with his left hand. You couldn't move, you could only clutch on his hair with your free hand, and nothing else. His right hand was rubbing your clothed ass, lifting the skirt to play with your skin.

"I'm sure hug time w-was n-never like this, fuck," you pulled him closer as your nails dug into his bare back. Kai winced at the scratching pain on his back as you drag your nails down. He kept on feasting over your neck and played with your ass, continuously brushing his fingers on your skin.

When you started grinding again, you squealed when you felt a stinging pleasure on your ass, his hand probably left a mark on your skin. His big hard chest was pressing against yours. They felt hard and soft at the same time. You wanted to play with his nipples but with your position, you couldn't do anything.

He pulled his sweats down to his thighs and slipped inside you with ease. You're too wet for him.

"Wow, you're taking me whole, y/n." Kai was big, you felt him stretch you out, but you were too wet that he could just slip into you with so much ease.

"F-fuck I feel s-so full," you can feel him arranging your guts with his huge cock. You can't help but move your hips wanting to immediately feel the pleasurable feeling of his cock inside you.

"P-pull out okay? I'm n-not on any birth control, you j-just slid i-in w-without a condom," you added. "Sorry, I got t-too excited. Your pussy feels so warm and soft. Makes me wanna cum inside you."

"K-kai!" You warned him, he only chuckled at you.

He started to thrust slowly, while you were still trapped in the position he put you into.

His slow thrust becomes more sloppy as you keep on moaning into his ears. Your moans kept stirring something in him, it made him wanna cum inside you even more.

"K-kai please, I'm c-close." You whined as you scratched his back.

"W-wanna cum inside you, y/n. Wanna cum s-so bad." His thrusts get stronger which made your boobs bounce which caused them to brush against his nipples, making him more aroused.

Maybe you were just too drunk on his cock that you unconsciously nodded at him and chanted 'yes' multiple times.

"I'm g-gonna cum!" you squeaked as you tangled your fingers in his hair. You felt a warm liquid being spilled inside you the moment you came as Kai pants with you. His forehead now resting on your shoulders with his mouth open. You wanted to complain that he came inside even when you told him not to, but it just felt so good that you chose to collapse onto his arms instead.

@binniesbooks 2024

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