#they're SO good live and that set was very special due to the fact that it wasn't even supposed to happen

[fairweathermyth]

Favorite records of 2022, presented in the vaguest of order:

The Beths - Expert in a Dying Field

Hurray for the Riff Raff - LIFE ON EARTH

Orville Peck - Bronco

Mattiel - Georgia Gothic

Plains - I Walked with You a Ways

Kevin Morby - This Is a Photograph

Gang of Youths - angel in realtime.

Big Thief - Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You

The Ballroom Thieves - Clouds

Heavy Gus - Notions

Hermanos Gutiérrez - Hijos del Sol

Mitski - Laurel Hell

Spoon - Lucifer On the Sofa

Why Bonnie - 90 In November

Bonny Light Horseman - Rolling Golden Holy 

Tank and the Bangas - Red Balloon

Ezra Furman - All of Us Flames 

Gabriella Cohen - Blue No More

Rayland Baxter - If I Were A Butterfly

The Linda Lindas - Growing Up

[novella-november]

Fantasy Discrimination, and The Implications

A post on my dash reminded me to share some more writing advice, so here is a very good article by @mythcreantsblog , about how to make sure you're not dehumanizing a species or culture in your writing, which is a good guide on how to avoid accidentally writing racist or ableist tropes:

In particular, I want to talk about the ever-present racist trope in a lot of fantasy and scifi fiction, and that is the decision a lot of creators make where the villains are not just a single person, a faction, or a kingdom -- *its an entire species* who is not only the villain, but are outright, inherently *evil*.

To start out, here's a political cartoon by Tom Gauld you've probably seen all around tumblr with the name cropped out:

[ID: a political cartoon by Tom Gauld, showing two identical cities and boats mirrored on a river, each with a purple or yellow flag; one side is labled "Our Blessed Homeland, Our Glorious Leader, Our Great Religion, Our Noble Populace, Our Heroic Adventuerers", The other side is labled "Their Barbarous Wastes, Their Wicked Despot, Their Primitive Superstition, Their Backwards Savages, Their Brutish Invaders. End ID]

This political cartoon is a very good tool for testing your writing for the trope of demonizing/glorifying your fantasy/scifi species.

Let's use a classic example: your fantasy setting is made up of the following species: Elves, Dwarves, Humans, and Orcs.

Your Elves are a long-lived, ethereal people who live in secluded, perfect cities, all of them tall, blonde, and blue-eyed, who are extremely wise and making plans that can stretch out over dozens of human generations, and they're the deciders of 90% of politics in your world. Your Dwarves are a short, squat, species who spend their lives working in forges, mines, and laboratories, tirelessly toiling (because they enjoy the hard work, of course!) and selling their products to the Elves who are their largest and wealthiest customer base; Dwarves work hard and studiously for decades at a a time to complete a piece of work in order to fufill the intricate orders from their Elven customers, which is how the majority of them provide for their families, working 16 hour shifts each day for decades per order. Your Humans are far more seperated, and often live on the fringes of what their longer-lived compatriots consider "Civilized Society", often living as Subsistence farmers and hunters, not out of choice, but often due to poor land and lack of resources; the wealthiest of Human cities are usually the capitals where the royals reside and may live in luxury with rich markets and high-quality products and running water, but the vast majority of Humans live in small, poor villages that must rely on traveling merchants to sell what produce and livestock they can spare from their farms in order to buy the supplies they need to live out another year. Your Orcs.... well, they don't really live anywhere, do they? Orcs strongholds can only maintain their grip in hellish wastelands where living is nigh impossible, with all food and water only obtained from outside sources; occasionally, Orcs will attempt to establish base camps in more fertile land, invading neighboring Human, Dwarf, and Elven territory to do so, who quickly unite to expel these vile, dark, brutish invaders lest they steal their daughters, destroy and taint all of the natural resources and steal the few jobs available to the Humans in Dwarven and Elven cities as manual labour and servants.

And Now, take a step back from this world, and take a long, hard look at these species (outside of humans who are just kinda there in the middle and the only ones capable of change because Humans Are Always Special) and societies and what ideas are being reinforced here, especially when the above descriptions are framed as Hard Facts which are both Just and True?

(archived read-more Here)

Elves are morally superior and are always Perfect and Correct,

Dwarves are happy to spend their entire lives toiling in the forges and mines to please their Elven patrons,

and Orcs are Evil Monsters who will rob, murder, and rape any hapless victim who comes their way, so it's better to slaughter them all on sight and kick them out of your cities and towns, and this is the 100% correct morally right choice every single time and the narrative and characters themselves support this?

Did you spot them already, or does the above just seem like a cool, fun fantasy world where Elves are the cool wise good guys and Orcs are the devil's army and can be used as canon fodder any time your main character needs to mow down some enemies for a Badass Scene?

Let's retrace our steps a bit, shall we, and examine this "perfect" world through a critical lens?

When your elves are all portrayed as Perfect Ethereally Beautiful Blonde and Blue-Eyed wise leaders of the civilized world, what idea is being reinforced here? Who does it harm, and what real world ideas is this mirroring and enforcing? Who is going to have their own biases reinforced by this narrative?

When only the longest-lived people are allowed to decide politics, what group biases are being enforced? Is portraying "young people" as "being incapable of making political decisions" as a correct, logical choice in your story something you wish to enforce? Are there any real world issues this trope mirrors?

When your Dwarves are all Happy Workers and Slaves, bound to and reliant on the superior Elves to live, spending the majority of their life purely in service to these Superior Beings while happy to do it, what idea is being reinforced here? Who might see themselves in the plight of the Dwarves and feel alienated and insulted by the Dwarves happily slaving away in the dark? Who might have biased ideas reinforced by seeing the Dwarves treated in such a way?

When your Orcs are portrayed as evil, dark skinned, brutish savages who will kidnap and rape poor helpless women from the "pure" species, when Orcs are incapable of creating anything of their own and can only steal, what racist messages are being enforced and upheld? Who are the real people and cultures being demonized when you perpetuate this? What real world peoples and cultures have faced *decades of propaganda framing them as such*?

If you spotted these harmful messages in the initial indented description, good job!

But if you didn't, it's time to find and read critical reviews and essays written by marginalized communities of works that include these damaging tropes, because if it your Evil Species are Weird Aliens, because when you characterize and describe your Evil Species, you are undoubtedly going to be drawing heavily on your own internal biases of what makes people Other and Wrong.

Are your Evil Species all dark-skinned, physically-strong and animalistic? Congrats, you have just regurgitated centuries-old racism that justifies slavery, segregation, and discrimination *to this day*

Are your Evil Species all nomadic ~cannibals~ who are incapable of creating anything of their own and have to loot and steal from others to have anything of value? Congrats, you are once again regurgitating racist propoganda that has been used against countless cultures and minorities for centuries.

Are your Evil Species reknowned for kidnapping and raping the women of your Good Guys in order to create Evil Twisted Halfbreed Offspring for ....uh, reasons? Congrats, once again, this is literally just racist propaganda being reinforced by your writing.

Anything you come up with to make your Species Inherently Evil is going to most likely be something that is weaponized against real world minorities that you are now reinforcing with your writing, from racism to ableism to queerphobia and all the ways they intersect.

How do you fix this?

It's incredibly simple!

Don't make an entire Species be Inherently Evil.

They need to be just as varied as real living people.

Your Species should not be a Monolith, let alone of *Evil*.

Your Species should not have their only "decent/civilized/kind people" examples come from ""crossbreeds"" [and this term itself should be used only by bigots as a deragatory term] or random orphans who were raised by one of the Good Species(tm)-- this is how your story starts advocating for *eugenics*, which is not something you want to do!

So, instead of having an entire Species be "Inherently biologically" Evil, consider instead:

Making your villain group diverse instead of all one Species.

if your villain group is a Species Supremacist, they're probably still going to have underlings and lower castes who do their dirty work, or have been taken in by the cult ideology.

Making the villains of this Species be a small fraction of a larger whole, who are part of a violent cult, ideology, or political party that not only puts them in conflict with your main characters, but also with the rest of their Species.

Having your main character or their friends be the same Species as your villain group, and they represents the vast majority of the Species, instead of hailing them as "the Paragon of Goodness who emerged somehow pure from of a species forged in hell" or anything similar.

You should also sit down and not only think about the harmful, racist tropes that would come from writing Inherently Evil Species, but also consider:

Why do you want to include an entire species of people who are inherently evil in your novel?

Is your novel gaining anything for including these tropes uncritically?

Does it make it a better, more interesting story to include these tropes uncritically?

What message are you trying to send with your story?

Does including these tropes uncritically in your story *undermine* your intended message?

Another trope in the opposite direction, is talking about "Oppression" and "Fantasy Racism" from the perspective of a character who is part of the oppressed minority, only to spend the entire novel talking about how your Opressed Class are Literally and Factually threats to the population that "discriminate" against them, usually by being rightfully wary in their prescence.

if the Oppressed Minorities in your story in anyway resemble the Orcs in Bright, the Predators in Zootopia, or the Khajiit in the Elderscrolls, where the Racism these peoples face in based on hard proven facts that these people have been and still are threats to most of the population..

... you're less writing a story about how "Racism Against Vulnerable Minorities is Bad"

and sound more like you're saying

"It's bad to be "mean" (afraid of) Nazis who literally want you dead and who can kill you with impunity and no consequences."

If you are writing a story about Fantasy Discrimination, and the basis of your Fantasy Discrimination is based on *cold hard facts that your narrative supports and upholds*, instead of actually basing it on and talking about what leads to discrimination in the real world

(xenophobia and the fear+hatred of The Other, economic gain, mainly),

then you are not making the progressive stance that you think you are, and instead are enforcing the ancient propoganda that racism is based on fact, that racism is "for a good reason", and you need to take care that you are not upholding this idea in your works.

TL;DR:

Instead of making an entire Species of people a trope of Wise Good Guys or Evil Incarnate, consider using *Factions not Races* for your groups, and think long and hard about the implications of your world's politics and how it mirrors our own world, especially in ways *you may not intend it to.* If your story is meant to be progressive and inclusive, but your villains are an entire race of black orcs who slave and rape the good guys species, you need to go back to the drawing board.

[trekmupf]

Trapped in a Car With Someone You Don’t Want to Be Trapped in a Car With

Pro

Kirk being torn between his "duties" in the military structure of Starfleet and the duty to his crew / his friends

McCoy waking up and immediately doctoring

The way McCoy sits in the chair; Once again I'm stating the obvious: McCoy is very beautiful in this episode and his winged eyeliner is everything

We're getting to know Spock better: his problems connecting with the human crew and understanding them (something he learns later on, which is great character development), a new side to his logic, the fact that he's not driven by power (getting command)

Also the fact that the McCoy / Spock dynamic this early on the show is different from later on: the disagreements are less friendly banter and more actual fights, McCoy doesn't know Spock that well (thinking he's interested in power / command is wrong) and they don't work together as well, which is a great way to mark their development in later episodes

there's also a clear separation between Spock and the others, Spock's alone and doesn't have someone to confide in; later on Spock and McCoy are a duo

especially the scene where they're fighting over the funeral service highlights why McCoy, Spock and Kirk work best together and what can happen when one of them isn't around to balance them out

Spock is genuinely so irritated by his logic not working, he's so visibly annoyed several times

"Strange. Step by step I have made the the correct and logical decisions, and yet two men have died"

Spock's failures as a commander also highlights what makes Kirk such a great captain, as he manages to use logic and command while also balancing the human and empathetic side of it

Spock learning so much and growing during this, technically a great leader but he learns his own limits

Scotty best repair boy, the way he crouches and crawls into spaces to repair the shuttle and then engineer magic!

Also Scotty's attitude in the face of death is so great and telling about him. He realizes first what's going to happen and accepts it calmly, smiles and compliments Spock, having an air of comfort and peace around him

@ Kirk and McCoy in the last scene, how close do you guys need to be to have a conversation?

Kirk pointing out that Spock's action was based on hope and was therefore human and Spock trying to explain it away as a non emotional and therefore Vulcan action and the others just like him so much while he does so; it's not mean spirited but just lovely and such a great contrast to the tension earlier in the episode

So many of the shots inside the shuttle are accidently funny due to the camera angles they had use because of the tight space

Direct and straightforward episode set up: We have limited time (medicine needs to be brought to another planet) and the shuttle with two of our main characters gets lost in a phenomenon

Kirks desperation rising during his scenes the longer his crew is lost

great tension by the double plot: the immediate threat on the planet and the time pressure on the ship

I absolutely prefer the original special effects over the CGI remake. Look at how good the shuttle craft looks in comparison – taken from this youtube video which I recommend

Con

even for Trek the monsters are sort of shit

very minor but I'm annoyed at the uniform inconsistency, its yellow shirts not red shirt dying, the travesty

I know the commissioner is there to remind us of the time frame but his constant repeating starts to be annoying. I'm Kirk, just done with this guy (even though yes, he's right)

everyone but the yellow shirts who die have shit to do and opinions to have except the women who is just scared and doesn't wanna die

Counter: none

Quote "Did I? I may have been mistaken" - Spock "Well, at least I lived long enough to hear that" - McCoy

Moment: When the group sits in the doomed transporter together, knowing they're about to die but they seem collected

Free Bones because you can see his great make up in this one

Summary: Not quite bottle episode (even though it feels like it) that focusses on Spock and his struggles as a (half-) vulcan working with humans and his disconnect with them using a gripping and tense narrative; Over the course of the episode Spock learns a lot about humans, his connection to them and himself and he and his companions gather more respect for each other Previous Episode - Next Episode - All TOS Reviews

[aurorawest]

The Scottish Boy by Alex de Campi - 5/5 stars

This book managed to rip my heart out at least 3 times. I loved it. Medieval enemies-to-lovers slow burn; very romantic. Kinda read like fanfiction at times but in a good way. 10/10 would read a follow-up love story about Arundel and Captain Wekena. If you like Captive Prince, give this one a try.

Reforged by Seth Haddon - 4/5 stars

Pretty good bodyguard romantasy. Ironically CS Pacat blurbed this one (another am-I-in-the-matrix moment). The world was interesting and I enjoyed the politics, though they're definitely not as complicated as other SFF politics I've gone feral over (see: Captive Prince, Winter's Orbit, A Memory Called Empire). I ordered the sequel after I finished this.

The Doctor's Date by Heidi Cullinan - 4/5 stars

A Power Unbound by Freya Marske - 5/5 stars

Where do I start? I love, love, LOVE A Marvellous Light. It's one of my favorite books ever. None of the rest of the books in the trilogy could live up to it, really, because it's so good. You'll notice I rated this one 5 stars though, because quite honestly I fell prey to a bit of The Academy Paying The Lord of the Rings Trilogy Its Due syndrome. I did love this book and thought it was better than A Restless Truth (which I still loved!) but part of that is, quite frankly, just due to the fact that I prefer m/m romance to f/f romance.

Anyway. This was such a good finale to the trilogy. I loved that the romance was a giant middle finger to purity cultists. I loved that one of the mains was Italian. I loved finally getting the story of what happened to the Alston twins. One thing I thought was really cool was how, viewed from the outside, you totally get why Edwin is such a loner. I really admire from a writing perspective how Marske pulled that off.

I feel like there's a lot to be said about what Marske was trying to SAY with this book, but I definitely need to reread it first before I can articulate any of it. The purity culture stuff is obvious, but the magic system too. I feel like Jack when he's almost able to connect everything in his mind into a bigger idea, but he can't quite get there.

I've got a special edition from Illumicrate coming, so I'll be rereading it when I have that.

Oh also, this book was the embodiment of all that one tumblr post -

The Guncle by Steven Rowley - 5/5 stars

I saw this in bookstores for years before I finally gave in and bought it. The blurb makes it sound insufferable and twee. Ignore the blurb. This was such a good book about grief and learning how to live again after terrible loss.

I Like Me Better by Robby Weber - 4/5 stars

At last I can stop getting the Lauv song stuck in my head whenever I set eyes on this book (it's stuck in my head as I type this). Pretty standard-issue YA, but it was cute and had a good message.

The Stagsblood King by Gideon E Wood - 4/5 stars

Another book about moving on from grief! This is the second book in a trilogy. When I was trying to determine if I wanted to read on beyond book 1, I scoured the internet for information about what happens in books 2 and 3. Eventually I decided, hell, I enjoyed book 1 well enough, even if what I want to happen in the rest of the trilogy doesn't happen, they're worth reading. SO, to that end, I will tell anyone looking for info that Tel gets romantically involved with a new man in this one, which, eh. I still want him to somehow end up with Vared. It was still quite good though.

In the Lives of Puppets by TJ Klune - DNF at pg 82

So funnily, we were at the bookstore the day I was about to start reading this, and my wife pointed out Ravensong (also by Klune) to me and said, "Do you have this one?" I made a face and said, "That's an older one of his books and I'm wary of his early work after that horrible Verania series. I don't think I've ever read an author as hit or miss as TJ Klune."

I wrote the above when I was 60 pages in and now I have officially DNFed this. Listen. You know how in Thor: Love and Thunder, Taika Waititi was clearly given free rein to do whatever he wanted, so all of his worst impulses made it to the final cut unchecked? Yeah. That's what this book is like.

Here's my Storygraph review: I see Klune is officially Too Big To Edit now. This book has exactly the same problem that his awful Verania series had—a joke that's funny at first but quickly grows tiresome when it's repeated five times per page. The emphasis on Victor's asexuality was also weird and read like Klune was just super proud of himself for writing an ace character.

Lion's Legacy by LC Rosen - 4.25/5 stars

Queer, YA Indiana Jones, but less #problematic. This book had some eerie similarities to my own archaeology adventure novel(s), which made me wonder half-seriously if I somehow know Lev Rosen? Anyway, I feared this would be very heavy-handed and not nuanced on archaeology's ethical dilemmas, since it's YA and also the current culture is to view said dilemmas as completely black and white with no nuance, but I was pleasantly surprised. It manages to examine that, queerness, and daddy issues, plus has time to be a genuinely fun and exciting adventure story. Highly recommend.

Too White to be Coloured, Too Coloured to be Black by Ismail Lagardien - 4/5 stars

I picked up this memoir in a bookstore at OR Tambo airport in Johannesburg as research for Six Places to Fall in Love, since Percy is coloured. A pretty brutal read, but good, and definitely good research. The author was a photographer and journalist through the most violent years of apartheid.

The Splendid and the Vile by Erik Larson - 5/5 stars

Two nonfiction books in a row?? This is the second book by Erik Larson I've read, the first being the excellent The Devil in the White City. I'm not, in general, all that interested in WWII when it comes to military history, but this book is about the day to day lives of Churchill and the people surrounding him (with brief stops to visit FDR and high-ranking Nazis sprinkled throughout). This is a very, very good book, and I recommend reading it if only as a reminder of the resilience and bravery of ordinary people under terrifying circumstances.

Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh - 5/5 stars

Holy shit. Holy shit is this book good. Imagine the love child of Lost, Person of Interest, and Battlestar Galactica, but queer and with multiverse shenanigans thrown in.

I need everyone to read this book. Now. Yesterday. Get to it.

[kideternity]

Okay now i've finished Adventure let me write up my full thoughts about the season. This will be less structured than the Tamers review and I apologise for that, I just kind of had a different watching experience with Adventure and thus sort of format my feelings about it in a different way idk. Whatever the case, here’s my full review of Adventure under the cut, and if you don’t care about that, then here’s the TLDR;

I liked adventure! I had a lot of fun watching it. It’s not a perfect season, but nothing is, and whilst I am going to take a break for now, I'm excited to start Digimon Adventure 02 in the foreseeable future.

-First, I do want to highlight things I really enjoyed. I really loved the animation and art style- I know its seen as very cheesy and dated and not the best animated (Most notable example that comes to mind is reusing the animation for special moves) but IDC, I love the cartoony style and I've always been very endeared to older styles of animation and how they make use of the medium.

-I liked the kids! I liked the kids a lot! They’re good kids! The cast of adventure is absolutely a highlight, and I can see why Bandai always goes back to them for use in future projects, whether or not that’s ultimately a good thing.

-Whilst I personally prefer the more Urban Sci-fi / Fantasy settings of Tamers and Savers, The Isekai approach lends itself to be a good way to immediately show off the digital world and the creatures within it, and to start exploring the worldbuilding within. I like the worldbuilding of Adventure! It felt kind of more purposely vague then Tamers and Savers, but it’s an interesting world they set up, and I'd like to see more of it explored

-I missed the global aspect of Tamers and even Savers. Though I can’t really fault Adventure, being as it was literally THE first season ever, for staying strictly in Japan. I just personally enjoyed how large and expansive things got in Tamers, and how people from all over the world were involved. I will say, I did appreciate Adventure also having more unorthodox or complicated family dynamics- such as Yamato and Takeru being the kids of divorce who aren’t able to 24/7 be around each other, or how Koushiro is adopted. It’s always a breath of fresh air to see media, especially for kids, tackle these sorts of things with nuance and grace.

-The soundtrack was absolutely gorgeous. Probably my favourite out of all of the soundtracks so far- there was just so much passion and emotion packed into each musical piece.

-Tone and themes were fairly consistent throughout, mostly due to the fact that Adventure doesn’t really have any sort of grand overarching messaging like Tamers or Savers did. I would assume, due to being again, the first season of anime, it cared more about plot and characters than trying to Say anything too radical. Hence, the themes follow pretty standard “good versus evil” tropes, as well as the power of compassion and community and optimism and hope that digimon usually utilises in each of its different stories across mediums, instead of anything more complex, like Tamers attempts at dissecting morality and violence, and Savers discussing the inherent value of lives that aren’t humans and trying to understand those not like you. Adventure plays it safe, and doesn’t get burned because of it, which I can’t fault.

-The villains are. Eh. They’re entertaining but none of them are necessarily very well written. The most well written villain was Pinochimon, and ignoring that i'm a biased party, most people seem to agree with me on this. Vamdemon was definitely the most intimidating and well built up antagonist. Apocalymon has a really cool and sympathetic concept, and I wish he had been focused on more. Generally, due to the nature of Adventure's “good versus evil” tropes, a lot of the villains aren’t really allowed any sort of nuance or are portrayed in a “They're Inherently Damnable Let's Kill Em” sort of way, which is unfortunate. Only Ogremon top of my head really gets any sort of minor redemption at the end without dying for it, ala Wizarmon, Gottsumon and Pumpkinmon.

-Like Tamers, Adventure is much more open to the idea of making horny jokes and talking about romance, which I do not enjoy, and it was by far the worst one when it came to that in my opinion. Why were there so many jokes about masc digimon hitting on Mimi. Stop that right this instant.

-Generally, I would say plot and character writing is a mixed bag. None of it is necessarily godawful, but you can tell that Adventure was very haphazardly and sloppily written. There’s a lot of inconsistencies in the writing- a lot of new characters or story elements are sort of abruptly added out of nowhere with no real build up and which sometimes ultimately don’t really matter all that much. It has definitely the worst pacing out of the seasons I've seen so far- Again, Building up momentum to then just suddenly stop and spill exposition on you. Savers and Tamers had issues too, but their handling of the plot was usually much tighter and the writing much more concise. Whilst I love the kids, and they do definitely get their own character arcs, none of them are written equally in that regard and often times it leads to situations where some characters get their arcs finished early and then stay stagnant for the rest of the season (Sora and Koushiro) whilst others only get major character writing near the very end (Yamato). It also definitely played favourites with some of them lol. Random things will interject in pivotal moments and the arcs for each different villain all have entirely different vibes to one another. Truthfully, it does come across as a much of mini stories hazily slapped together in an attempt to create a Larger Grander Narrative. Which, again, it was their first attempt ever creating an anime for Digimon, so I suppose I can’t blame them too much for this. It’s a miracle this took off so well in the first place.

Again, there’s definitely stuff I'm missing that i'd have wanted to say, but as a whole, again, I like Adventure! It’s not my favourite season of the digimon anime, and I can definitely understand the frustration for Bandai constantly milking it as a cash cow for the nostalgia points. But, I do think as a whole it holds up for the most part, at least for a kids anime from the late 90s, and Again, I don’t regret having watched it.

[gwenllian-in-the-abbey]

I'm not being rude or evasive and if so, forgive me. I just have this doubt: why don't you illustrate baela with black skin like in the HBO series?

I'll tag the artist, @aifsaath in on this too, in case I'm speaking out of turn, but it is indeed something that we definitely discussed when we decided make this fic happen.

The simple answer is that we're writing from the book canon, and we went with book descriptions when possible, including their coloring and their body types. Of course, whenever there's an adaptation, the actors portrayed in the show are going to be the ones who first pop into people's minds, regardless of whether the fic is set in the book canon or the show canon, and that's fine! In fact, my first long-fic is based more on the show-verse, and I described that Baela as she appears on the show, with curly silver hair and brown skin. To me, they're different canons and there are legit reasons to choose one or the other, or to mix them up. For this fic we wanted to stick to one consistent canon rather than mixing and matching, and since the majority of the events that happen in this fic have not been depicted on the show yet, and won't for many years to come, we decided to go with Fire and Blood. Less simple answer below the cut.

Here's the more complicated answer. While the show chooses not to focus too heavily on this aspect of the world building, the Valyrians are racial supremacists. They believe in blood purity and consider themselves to be better than non-Valyrians. The Targaryen dynasty in particular has built a whole mythos around Targaryen exceptionalism based on their special blood, but the blood is shown time and again to not actually be all that special. It's a lie, like white supremacy itself is a lie. Targaryens can't get sick, until they do. Only those with Targaryen blood can ride dragons, until Nettles comes along. Targaryens must marry their brothers and sisters, and nothing bad will come of this because they are a special exception, but it literally ruins multiple people's lives and causes at least one massive war. The Valyrians weren't special chosen ones, they were slavers, eugenicists, they practiced blood magic (heavily implied to involve human sacrifice), and their hubris led to their doom. And while it's kind of heavy handed, it's not coincidental that GRRM made these folks pale haired and pale skinned and made them obsessed with preserving Targaryen purity. OFCIR is critical of this, and we did not think it was a great idea to make George's fantasy version of white supremacists into POC since they are blood supremacists in our fic, something the show waters down a lot, at least so far. George has actually said that he once had the idea of making ALL of the Valyrians Black, as a kind of uno-reverse on white supremacy, but realized that would probably be a bad look and scrapped the idea.

Some fans are also very attached to the idea of the special blood actually being special. Online I've already seen people arguing that Nettles, who was written in the books as a Black woman, could simply be of Velaryon blood (nevermind that the Velaryons were not dragonriders by blood, Addam Velaryon rides a dragon, probably due to centuries of Velaryon mixing with the Targs), when in Fire and Blood it is heavily implied that Nettles tamed a dragon the good old fashioned way (by feeding it!) rather than bonding to one by blood. And when Rhaenyra believes Nettles is fooling around with Daemon, she throws around insults that imply Nettles' blood is impure, calling her "common," saying Daemon would never lie with such a "low creature," and finally accuses her of sorcery to tame her dragon, saying, "you only have to look at her to know she doesn't have a drop of dragon blood in her." Hair and eye color alone can't be what she's talking about either, because book!Rhaenys has dark hair, and Rhaenyra's own sons are brown haired and brown eyed. And while I have no doubt that the show will likely change this storyline significantly, we are using book canon. For what it's worth, I think it's significant that the one canonically Black dragonrider is the one who does not get her dragonriding skills from her "pure" Valyrian blood, but through skill and perseverance. It's a deconstruction of racial supremacy, but it doesn't work if she is simply another hidden Valyrian.

But you might have noticed the art gives Aegon a more golden skin tone, and that's because his mixed heritage is a part of his story. And although later on some Hightowers are described as having light blonde hair (possibly because Rhaena marries into the bloodline), Oldtown is very close to Dorne, and the southern part of the Reach is closest to the Summer Isles of any part of the realm. Oldtown is this major trading port, with people coming in and out from all over the world for thousands of years. Oldtown has a history of being a center of trade for a lot longer than King's Landing has, so we imagine the southern Reach as being as pretty diverse place, a bit like the Mediterranean in our world. It's fair to say you'd have Reacher families with a wide variety of skin tones, which is why you see that in @aifsaath's drawings of Aegon, and in our descriptions, he is indeed darker than Baela.

[terrence-silver]

what would terry's reaction be to beloved refusing to cry or be vulnerable with him? we know he lives by showing no weakness, even in front of beloved, but would it change if beloved also refused to? would it be different if beloved was a woman/man?

Ironically, he would feel bereft.

And make no mistake, beloved will cry.

Why? Because Terry will make them cry.

They won't even know he has an premeditated agenda as it happens.

He'll make them cry because he artificiated a situation that'll upset them so much they'll sob up and he can watch and then swoop in and be the big damn hero as he comforts them and fixes whatever it was he himself caused purely to see those beautiful, delectable tears. He'll make them cry as he fucks them because of how good and orgasmic it feels when he edges them and pounds into them while they beg him to cum and he denies them the release some more just on the off chance he gets to witness those shiny, sad, pleading eyes. He'll make them cry in sheer joy due to how happy he's made them about something and they get emotional, unable to contain themselves. He'll make them cry in every way possible and it will happen and he'll be there to relish every moment of it, because those tears? Much like everything else about beloved? Those tears, they belong to him. He feels entitled to seeing them. Experiencing them. Controlling the narrative of how and when they take place. Whenever and however he wants to. Drawing them out of beloved bit by bit whether they want to or not and whether they're even aware it is happening as it is happening. He feels it is his ultimate right to being the only one who causes them, sees them, wipes them away, savors them --- licks them. You name it. He might just say how they should be open with each other, always, giving beloved a sense of safety so they could laugh, giggle, scream or cry in front of him of their own volition without inhibitions, because he's here for them, for whatever they need. Oh, yes. Cry. How delightful. How perfect.

One set of rules for Terry, another set of rules for beloved entirely.

Because there's an explanation as to why Terry Silver lives by a 'no weakness, no mercy' mantra and he very firmly, to the very core of his being, believes he's justified in certain things the way others might not be. Life has taught him these lessons for a reason and then he taught himself how to embody them fully. He became hardened and tough for a reason as well. He didn't do it just for show. His reason is the war. Vietnam. His career in the military. His own personal worldviews. The martial arts style he lives by as a result of that, which is infinitely more than just a way of fighting --- it's a way of life. With an almost cult-like connotation. If he doesn't cry openly, it's because men, or rather, men like him in particular, don't cry. Not anymore anyway.

Again, he understands it's hypocritical and doesn't particularly care.

When beloved does the same, yeah, he feels he's denied a very crucial access to them and that won't do. That just won't do. He views it as direct challenge fuel. He feels he has to reprogram them until they're sobbing putty in his hands. He feels there's a wall up that he must demolish. Demolish it he does, brick by brick and nobody discovers just how sinister the connotation of what he's done really is; beloved might just be there, getting all misty eyed because Terry's bought and remembered some very special gift they've always said they wanted, not even realizing that the only gift Terry craves for here like a starving animal is the sight of their tears as they unbox the present. By the end of it all? Beloved will be so vulnerable in front of them they'll feel this is precisely the way things should be, feeling infinitely glad they've Terry there to understand their sensibilities (never opening their eyes to the fact he's caused, fueled and cultivated all of them).

[pulim-v]

Uhhhh. Fern and Rowan? (For the ten facts :3)

Ah yes the worsties <3 imma be real w you I don't know how much you know so a lot of this might not be new info lol

Fern

Fern lived in a rural town when growing up, which made her not really fit in due to his main interest being programming

His wings don't let her body fly, since they're far too small for that, in fact no bird in this story flies lol it's mostly a decorative thing

She's thought of growing our her (head) feathers, but taking care of them takes a lot of effort so he keeps it relatively short

Unlike most KIT students, Fern lives pretty far away from the actual institute, so instead of going by train she uses a teleportation network set up in Mount Kimoru to get to the KIT

He doesn't really have friends on the CompSci course, but most of his classes are shared with either Spark or Via (or both) so that doesn't bug her that much

I've definitely said this to you before but Fern is very comfortable with her gender presentation - despite being bigender, he doesn't mind having more feminine features on her body (like the breasts)

Fern's grades are Fucking Awful for most of the classes she shares w Spark and Via, but on the more specialized programming classes he has consistent perfect scores

Fern's fighting prowess is not due to formal training, but instead due to having to do constant manual labour for his family's farm

Despite that, there are two things she's not that good at: taking hits and fighting for a long time

Fern is probably the only main character who actually drinks, and he drinks a lot whem she does lol

Rowan

Rowan likes to take care of bonsai, he has a garden in his home

Some people like to tease Rowan because both Mist and Dew are exactly his type

After some Character Development, Rowan starts to grow out his hair, and has a ponytail by the time the story's done

Rowan's fighting style consists of Fighting For His Life because he's really bad at fighting (he mostly stalls his opponents and tries to get them to tire out)

Later on he's taught some combat skills by Another Character as a sort of "trade" due to a Plot Event

The moment where he started to consider Mist and Dew as his best friends was when he turned 18 - Mist had a little gift for him.and Dew offered to teach him how to drive

Rowan's parents run a drugstore, so he's really knowledgeable about how different meds work and interact with each other

Rowan and Fern regularly shit-talk each other. Rowan always loses.

Rowan has a very thorough hair care routine, and wakes up 3 hours before going out to class to take care of his hair

He's a really big fan of herbal tea, and grows some green tea plants in his home

[bitchfitch]

I don't tend to like stories where the relationship is the main like Plot Driver™. I prefer to write things where there's always something Bigger happening that's causing the main characters problems.

And I'm having a lot of trouble figuring out what I want the Problem™ with the post apocalypse monster romance thing to be.

Like. Ok. Lino is a young scavenger who's never had a full belly in his entire life. Every day was a struggle for him to pay his dues to stay in the community he grew up in because no one survives alone in this setting, and once a person has been exiled no other community will take them in.

Life's Rough.

Vincent is the great grandson of a turbo wealthy business man and one of the last people still hiding in the bunkers. His mutations have affected his mind as much as they have his body and he struggles with extreme paranoia and delusions about 'filth'. He believes the people on the surface are vermin ruining things with their mutations, and he himself refuses to 'inflict his ugliness' on the outside world because of these beliefs.

His bunker is still in beyond good shape, but he's alone in it.

There's very few replicator type contraptions left in the world. many have been destroyed to give powerful figures more control over resources by making them scarce. Vincent has one of the most advanced replicators still kicking around and doesn't even know it's anything special. He does however realize how special Lino finds it and is more than willing to use it and the food it makes to align Lino's incentives with his own.

He destroyed Lino's leg and is convinced Lino is an actual angel from heaven here to help 'purify' the world. His evidence is Lino's 'wings' and the fact that Vincent feels so warm and nice just being in Lino's presence.

Lino has an extra set of arms, and Vincent hasn't talked to another human in several decades. he's just very lonely.

Lino needing to heal and learn how to live with only one leg, Vincent's delusions, his quest to destroy every human that looks like himself, and his overprotective/overly possessive energy with Lino are problems, but they're not Problems™.

No one would have a way to know the replicator exists. so no one would be coming for it.

Maybe Vincent is more proactive in his quest? He's killing people anytime they come too close. But no one would go close then/ no one would care because it would only be scavengers out searching that would go missing. And those people go missing constantly.

Maybe someone is looking to find Lino? Maybe the leader who wanted him to cut off his extra arms so he could look like a pre bomb human. Someone like Lino could have great value as a trophy spouse for one of the rich and powerful, especially if he let himself be dismembered into 'classicness'. A tracker he can't get out. He doesn't know if he wants someone to come looking for him or not.

the vibes aren't right. that'll be another problem but not The Problem. The Problem needs to be more contained. I don't want to split the deuteragonists up for very long.

Maybe it starts as just Lino that Vincent takes to keep alive. But Lino needs a doctor, so Vincent takes one of those and someone to hold hostage to make the doctor do as Vincent says. And someone comes looking for them. Lino convinces Vincent to let the third live too.

They build a community. Vincent is the leader. His delusions are getting worse with stress. Lino is the only one who doesn't irk him and he believes it's because Lino is more 'pure' than the others. He kills the worse offenders. There's tensions now between the new community and Lino's old one.

that'll be the Problem ™

The tensions are growing. The Leader isn't good. Vincent isn't any better but he's tempered by Lino in a the Leader isn't. Vincent still wants to wipe the old community out, along with everything else. Lino starts agreeing with him as things get further and worse. The last nail in the coffin is when anyone still in the old community who had had any tie to Lino is killed just to spite him. There's no one left to make Lino want to stop Vincent from opening the weapons vault.

Vincent never begrudged his blindness until that day. He wishes he could have seen Lino's face when he finally came to the conclusion Vincent had been right all along.

[michiruze]

Before Your Memory Fades - Thoughts

CW: Suicide mention, Suicidal Ideation

I'm back at the cafe! Now onto the third entry of the コーヒーが冷めないうちに book series by Toshikazu Kawaguchi.

But wait....this looks different, yet familiar. I am now at Café Donna Donna for more coffee, views of the seas, comedy, and....death.

And I wonder to myself, am I truly living in the present?

You can read my thoughts here for the first book and the second book. The series do gradually get better and that's why I'm back for more by reading the third book of this series! Even though it's still the same thing as the previous two books, I can see why these sequels exist.

They're saying something different, but ultimately arriving at the same uplifting conclusion each time.

And that's too good to be ignored, even though let's be clear, this book series is nothing special. There's already tons of 'reflexive' Japanese media like this one, and this book series seems to only offer its sci-fi elements to bring something new in the table. I mean come on, waitresses being living TARDISes hasn't even been explored in Doctor Who.

But the thing is....the formula works. If it ain't broken, just keep doing it. And yet, I still have tears in my eyes.

And so, once again, with the album "Steve McQueen" by Prefab Sprout still playing in my ears, wistful evenings in my home, and coffee in my desk, I am back at the cafe to think, to feel, and to go back to the past before the coffee gets cold.

As I finish this book, the cup of coffee in my mouth tells me to live in the present. Full (LONG) thoughts under the cut, as usual.

The first thing you need to know about this book is that while it's set in Hakodate instead of Tokyo, you still need to read the previous two books to get the entire picture. For starters, Kazu and Nagare remains as the main forces of the cafe.

This book opens with a direct reference to the fourth story of the first book due to the timey-wimey things in that story. So you're going to be lost if you haven't read those.

And even though the story is taking the reader into the breezy and calmer region of Hakodate with a new set of patrons and a new staff, the backstory of Café Donna Donna ties heavily to things about Kazu and Nagare's backstory that gets told in Book 1 and 2.

The new cafe is the first thing you see in the book. It has a better description that the Tokyo one and it looks rather unique, it actually makes me *want* to visit this nonexistent cafe in real life. The story being set in Hakodate also gives it a different, calmer vibe. I can actually picture myself sipping coffee in the balcony, looking at the rivers of Hakodate. "Bonny" by Prefab Sprout vibes wonderfully well with the new setting, in fact.

Something that this book also has in that there's a clear device that woven the stories. Several parts of the story contains snippets of stuff from the in-universe 'self-help' book “What If the World Were Ending Tomorrow? One Hundred Questions.” that I find interesting and adds to the message.

In addition, Reiji (the new waiter) and the patrons have little to no connections to the patrons of Funiculi Funicula in Tokyo so these are completely *new* set of people.

With a new set of stories, grief, and.....thoughts of death.

My love and I, we work well together. But often we're apart.... Absence makes the heart lose wager 'Till love breaks down, love breaks down...

New setting does not mean that we're starting from zero. The first story actually tries to subvert the typical formula that readers are accustomed to. Now, what if someone wants to go back to the past to curse and spit on someone for giving them a screwed-up life?

(this means that "Desire As" as Prefab Sprout immediately plays in my ears)

Although the way the story begins is pretty jarring, given that after pages of a normal day at the cafe you're immediately thrown with so much anger. The suicidal main character has so much pain and anger that her very reactionary personality and actions contrast heavily with the 'calm' setting. This, however, makes way for the story to turn into a Christmas Carol-like story where the main character sees the past and experiences a change of heart.

I admit, this was pretty damn effective for me. I actually cried at the end. The bleak, pessimistic main character with so much baggage....i feel her pain. I feel her woes and seeing her get better makes me tear up. It's such an escapist story by the end of the day, to go look at the core of your problems and actually face it --- and have it resolved.

And yes, it is one of those stories where the message ultimately boils down to "things will get better if you just admit your pain", but I feel so doomed and sick of everything right now and this story is a comfort and a reminder for me to keep going, and how things will get better.

If you thought that the first story is bleak enough, the second actually answers the burning question that every reader of Book 1 and 2 might have asked to themselves: "So, if you stay in the past and not go back to the present, you die and become the ghost in the seat? Wouldn't someone attempt to kill themself this way, then?"

And it answers the question with little drama. For starters, the main characters of this story are a duo of comedians. While the book don't get to actually show what kind of manzai act they are (probably because the author can't write manzai but what do I know about comedy anyway), this choice in writing highlights how even the funniest smilers could go down the drain when emptiness that the death of a loved one hits them. The suicide ideation is devastating to read. And it hits hard. With zero funny ha-has.

This is very much a story that we need today. Emptiness is devastating, and it can lead to terrifying thoughts and actions. Even the brightest and happiest people could fall victim to the void.

But this story tells you that no, the glass isn't half-empty. Moving on with the feeling that your passing loved ones are supporting you and helping you fills the glass. The glass is ultimately, half-full after all. And certainly people want to fill yours too.

Oh my, Oh my, have you seen the weather? The sweet September rain Rain on me, like no other Until I drown, until I drown

If you thought that this book will stop there, you're wrong. Third book directly tackles the problem of denying the pain from losing a loved one. The 'denial' phase of five stages of grief. Denial so great, that reality actually crumbles down.

Grief and Denial sometimes blurs reality that you'll run the risk of living in an invalid reality, and this book tackles this topic pretty well and concise enough without being too over-the-top. And it doesn't even add more fantasy elements (the TARDIS coffee is enough). It comes off as All Of Us Strangers (2023) without the fantasy elements.

The main character's pain is very hard to read, it's too real. There's nothing more devastating than dreaming of a passing loved one, thinking they're alive, only to wake up and find that they're no longer here. It really screws up your brain and it's not talked enough, and I'm glad that the third story brings this up.

Yes, the denouement and message of the story is corny. It's so schmaltz! it's so cheap! and yet, somehow, i -HAVE- to hear the message being said to me, as someone who had experienced a similar thing. It feels hopeful and got me rethinking about how to honor a passing loved one.

The fourth story is where it all wraps up. It's relatively less dramatic than the previous three stories as it suddenly shifts into something that you'd see in the first book: the pain of not being able to tell your feelings before it's too late.

What makes it different is that one of the problems that the characters face here is the inability to communicate well. Throughout the book series, this has been a source of many conflicts but most of the time the characters resolve this as soon as they get to do the time traveling bit. Here, it's still a problem even after the time traveling bit, and this leads to the book series's biggest message of 'living in the present' being reminded to the audience.

When love breaks down, the things we do, to stop the truth from hurting you, When love breaks down, the lies we tell, they only serve to fool ourselves.

SPOILER and TMI section!

The third story hit me the hardest because I understand Reiko's pain. You may recall in my post about the 2nd book where I mentioned that one of my best friends passed away.

I still dream of her months after she passed away. Then I woke up only to find that she's gone. It was a miracle that i did not develop any hallucinations during the early pandemic. Looking back, that was very strong of me, to not let 'invalid reality' invade my brain and distance me from people who support me.

For days, i couldn't accept reality. I cried for hours and again. There was a risk that my reality will break down and get me detached. It's a miracle that it didn't happen to me. But the pain made me numb. I feel pain, but i don't know what to do. I became aimless, in which I am facing the consequences from it today.

All because i couldn't smile because of her passing. It's actually pretty sad that it took me more than a year to finally accept my reality and stop moping and frowning over her passing --- through a hyperfixation that she'd be happy to see me showing joy out of. I once thought that my accomplishments would mean nothing now that she's gone, but so.....why shouldn't I be happy and proud? Why should my grief stop me from feeling joy? She would've been happy too, after all.

She'd be joyful if I keep living after her passing, she'd be disappointed if I see her passing as the end of my everyday life, as something that stops me from living in the present.

Everything will be OK. Death is not the end. And she'll be happy to hear that.

When love breaks down, the things we do, to stop the truth from hurting you, When love breaks down, the lies we tell, they only serve to fool ourselves.

And this ties back into the books ---- the stories are touching the subject of suicide that comes from grief. It really, really is a very harsh problem. I get why this book had to do that. grief just kneecaps your life and progress if you don't know how to process it and if you don't know that you can overcome it by making your life grow bigger than your grief (while NOT denying it) and accept it as a part of life and move on.

A reason why I like this book series is for not overly-dramatizing grief, with the dramatic reactions being just reactions to it. the portrayal of grief gets realistic at times. and I've been there before.

Ultimately, installment is about....death and loss. There's a lot more death and the dread and grief that comes from it. The previous books are more about regrets, guilts, and goodbyes and now this one dives head-on to the topic of death...suicide ideation...emptiness....denial...and how living in the moment is the way to overcome that because we don't know when will death comes for us all.

As repetitive as the books are, the different themes of each book keeps it 'fresh'. each book has something different to say, and this is not an exception.

While I highly enjoyed the book, it's not the first work to tackle the topic of death this way. Nawapol Thamrongrattanarit had done this before with his masterfully devastating work Die Tomorrow (2017), tackling the similar topic on how death shouldn't be the thing that stops us from living our lives fully in the present. Death in serenity, as a closure, as the end of a chapter, as a fuel to live in the present.

This book is more focused on the latter. on how death shouldn't be something that stops us from living and doing better things.

Death shouldn't be a reason why you shouldn't find happiness and comfort. everyone dies in the end, after all. and the death of a loved one does not mean the death of our hearts and soul. nor does it mean that our lives are stopped in a stasis.

And also, we should not let death break love down.

Understandably, death can get people bewildered. Death can get people do baffling reactionary things to eachother. Death can change people for the worse. Death can cause guilt and depression. but now that we're still in the present...live in it as if death comes for us all.

Live as if the world is ending tomorrow.

SPOILER and TMI section ends.

When love breaks down, the things we do, to stop the truth from hurting you,When love breaks down, you join the rest, who leave their hearts for easy sex

There's actually a lot to love for this book, from snippets from the aforementioned  “What If the World Were Ending Tomorrow? One Hundred Questions.” book that can be fun for readers to answer themselves, seeing a duo of comedians with the name "PORON DORON", the sudden shift to 'dark mode' (black page + white text) in the printed edition to depict a blackout, to a random Connecticut mention halfway through. It's certainly an improvement from the second book.

However, if I have to mention weaknesses --- it's the new characters. The Tokyo patrons all have distinct personalities that are easy to tell. You can immediately spot what kind of people they're like, as much as I had a problem with how the first book was written. In this book, the new patrons don't really go beyond their occupations, though I feel that Kawaguchi wanted this book to be less stage-y and more realistic but certain characters feel undercooked.

And also, Sachi....Kazu's 7 year old daughter has a very...interesting (read: baffling) characterization. How is she 7 years old and reads philosophy, a book compiling academic discourses on Picasso, and quantum mechanics?? Couple this with Miki's lapses of keigo in the second book and it's clear that author Toshikazu Kawaguchi has....interesting ideas of what kids under 10 are like. He really, really think Shounibyou is the same as Chuunibyou. He really thinks that kids aged 7 are the same as 14-year-old pretentious teenagers.

(I'm sorry but writing Kei's daughter speaking old keigo at random and Kazu's daughter reading a doomerist philosophy book.....i'm assuming that Kawaguchi was like this as a child.)

I understood that it's a way for her to read the fictional book so that the book's message and stories can be brought together, but the fact that she's 7 years old makes it jarring.

(but like real though, he thinks that shounibyou is 'kids reading philosophy and difficult topics they deem cool' and not 'acting out their favourite cartoons'.....except that the former is chuunibyou which happens to *teenagers* because they are teens!)

Unfortunately, I have to address yet another weakness, because, again, we have yet another weird writing about 'giving birth is a wonderful thing'. Because I really do not think that the question of "if you're inside your mother's womb and the world ends tomorrow, would you kill yourself or stay born?" was necessary at all. This, however, is limited to two passages so it wasn't as egregiously weird as similar stuff in the previous two books. I do hope it's no longer a thing in the fourth and fifth book...

I do admire how the 4th story doesn't do the "and we're gonna have kids" thing. It ends with an immediate future promise and ends there. This feels like another attempt to address the criticisms of the 4th story in the 1st book, which is alright to me.

That aside, I had a great time reading this book. Yes, the book still felt like an 80s ballad in book form, as was the previous two books --- but darker, this time. And again, that's not a bad thing. It's definitely what the books was going for and I can feel it fully.

We have seen what people would do if given the chance to go back to the past. Now we see that people will try to break from the clutches of loss and pain of the past to be in the present.

And once again, that's arguably what we need today.

Take a sip, and go back to the past. Say goodbye to tragedy, and plant the seeds of the future in the present.....before the coffee gets cold.

When love breaks down, when love breaks down....

And that concludes the month of coffee for me. I will, of course, read the fourth and fifth book as soon as they get translated, so stay tuned for more...

Note (because I can't put this anywhere): If you notice something, I've been repeating "Appetite" by Prefab Sprout during my journey in reading these three books. Well, you can see that it's because that the song and album happens to have similar themes as this book series.

This is a good opportunity to tell y'all why am I even reading this book series. See, it all started a month ago, in a boring morning, with me doing 80s British music shopping. And then, I found this song. I thought it was beautiful, but then I listened to the album version....it's one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard. Before you know it, the song was on repeat in my ears. And then, I listened to Appetite, then the whole album.

I thought that "Steve McQueen" is a beautiful, if not underrated album. I was imagining the perfect movie for this album, a slice-of-life movie about a shop that sells interesting items. Records, clothes from past eras, used music instruments, accessories, and such, with the stories focusing on the shopkeepers' sad stories and the patrons taking refuge from their pain through these items --- to represent the sophisti-pop sound of the album.

However, the album having a production work by Thomas Dolby means that the story needed a fantasy element. The fantasy element could represent his 'shiny/キラキラ' keyboard work and synths, along with the album's curious structure and wistful feeling that he brought into. And so I thought, what if these items can send its' buyers back in time to the past, to make them face their pain and resolve it, to ultimately live in the present?

The story sounded perfect in my head....and then I was informed that there's an actual book with the exact same premise (and was adapted into a movie as well, with a J-Drama adaptation coming soon). I just couldn't help myself and bought a copy of the first book immediately. And now here I am, finished with the third book, wistfully thinking about my own regrets, grief, and emptiness, and how to get myself back in my own two feet. And I will come back for the fourth and fifth book. As for the forthcoming American movie adaptation...well....see below....

Last note: Apparently according to the Fifth Book's blurb (in Japanese), there's going to be an American film adaptation of the first book. Oh boy...can't wait to see them butcher the book (or improve, I hope they're fixing the first and fourth story).

But also, it's not an inherently bad idea. All Of Us Strangers (2023) proves that you *could* make an English-language adaptation of Japanese books pretty well...and knowing that, I kind of hope that the American movie adaptation of Before the Coffee Gets Cold will be as good as the former.....though I wish it's being adapted as a British production.

With that being said, hey producers, I have a request: All Of Us Strangers (2023) has two Trevor Horn-produced songs in the soundtrack. And so to make it even, Before the Coffee Gets Cold should have two Thomas Dolby-produced songs in it. Better when it's Prefab Sprout songs. Just throwing it out there.....If the former can have Trevor Horn, y'all can (and should) have Thomas Dolby. There's no excuse!

[coffincanary]

So, Chuck. Technically a dad. Did he fuck angels and do Sam and Dean count in this category

Thank you for the ask maggie! :) (Also sorry for the length ) CW for emotional abuse, manipulation and non-con He 100% hooked up with angels, especially the archangels. Initially, it'd be due to a genuine need to connect with his creation. But that gets boring quickly, just that pure love and adoration. So Chuck would decide to bring in some drama. He would absolutely pick favorites and he'd make no attempt at hiding it and actively withdraw love at a whim, only to show his adoration in the next moment to keeping the archangels on their toes. They begin infighting, verbally and physically. In some universes, their need for Chuck's approval causes a whole civil war among the angels, sometimes leading to certain archangels taking over heaven and sometimes effectively eradicating every angel in existence. In some, the archangels kill each other quietly. It always ends in death and Chuck always abandonds them at that point. The regular angels don't really interest Chuck too much. They're like undeveloped NPCs, just there to fill up space. The only angel he takes an interest in is Castiel. I once saw the theory (unfortunately can't remember where) that Castiel is the first angel created after the archangels which is why he isn't like the others and has emotions, and I like that so much so I'll run with it. There are universes where Chuck fucks Cas, usually to squash that spark of rebellion and independence inside the angel, because it'd interfere with the story Chuck would tell. He makes Cas fall in love with him instead of Dean and watches as Cas sacrifices everything to make him happy. He sometimes lets the romance play out only to steal Cas away from Dean to watch Dean crumble. Dean and Sam would also absolutely be included in that. I know you've written a very good fanfic about Chuck's interactions with Dean in different universes (and I hope it's okay to link it here), which definitely inspired my take on Chuck's relationship to them. Chuck would fuck both of them, Sam and Dean are his favorite little toys. Alternate versions like Samifer or Michael!Dean would get him going, because hey, he's fucking two sons in one and the drama of that is just beautiful to him. Sometimes he'll seek out the soft, domestic things, the fluffy stories, where he comes into Sam's life while Dean is in purgatory or where he takes Lisa's role, but those bore him rather quickly. Sometimes he just comes into their lives as an anonymous hook-up, getting off on the fact that they don't know who he is. He loves apocalypse settings because those tend to be interesting (he'd have absolutely been sleeping with 2014alt Dean). But the stuff he most enjoys would be the most cruel things. He has done every horrible thing imaginable to the Winchester boys, just to see how his favorite toys would handle them, and that includes sexual things. They're his favorite creations, so he gets to play around with them as much as he wants to create interesting stories with them, and the most interesting stories come out of traumatizing them. However, he usually doesn't do the worst himself, he just likes to watch. Azazel!John doing unspeakable things to Dean in front of Sam while Chuck is the only one to hear John's mental screams? Demon!Dean taking years out of repressed feelings out on Sam and Cas before killing both of them? It's like a good movie to Chuck, one he maybe wouldn't watch again but quite enjoyable for the time being. It's his own special, satiating kind of voyeurism.

[loominggaia]

randomhedgehog asked: I think we can all unanimously agree that Moswen, Tarajeen or Oggsa are the top three worst moms. All three of them get some credit for being the products of their environments and childhoods, but theyre still top of the list for me. I'm just not sure which of them is the worst. Sofia being a slave owner doesn't really have anything to do with her parenting imo. Like, yeah, it's awful but this isn't a Evilest Character Poll, it's for Worst Mom, which she imo isn't. Yeah, she could've and should've divorced Foster, but what would she have done then? Evangeline doesn't seem like a single mother friendly place. Renee is pretty bad, but was a product of her upbringing/location. She also loved her daughter. Karenza was literally a grieving mother desperate to bring back her unborn baby when she made Isaac. And to her credit- she didn't just leave him outside on the street for anyone to take him! She made sure that only a special group of people could get him! Now, who we should really talk about is Elskas mom! Aka, the centauress who abandoned her newborn! randomhedgehog Hold it! I just sent an ask In about my opinion on this poll, but I forgot to take into consideration that Tarajeen literally wouldn't have been able to get help with her condition even if she tried! Damijana would've locked her up anyway!

--

These are all excellent points!

>"Sofia being a slave owner doesn't really have anything to do with her parenting imo. Like, yeah, it's awful but this isn't a Evilest Character Poll, it's for Worst Mom, which she imo isn't."

I would argue that she's setting a bad example for her children by owning slaves, essentially teaching them, "it's okay to dehumanize other people, as long as they're this people or that people". Not all Evangelites own slaves. In fact, some are disgusted by the concept and refuse to engage with that cultural practice at all. If Sofia had better critical thinking skills, she could be one of them. But I think she is too narrow-minded and intellectually lazy to get more perspective on this. She's open minded about some things (like lycanthropy), and set in her ways on others (like slavery).

>"Yeah, she could've and should've divorced Foster, but what would she have done then? Evangeline doesn't seem like a single mother friendly place."

Very true! Evangelite women are encouraged to stay at home and take care of their kids while their husbands work. There are few business that will hire women, and when they do get hired, they only earn a fraction of a man's wage. It's almost impossible for single women to support themselves in this kingdom, but some manage by living with groups of other women and sharing expenses. It's difficult, but not impossible. In "Lost and Found", Sofia also expresses fear that the courts would grant custody of her kids to Foster. In Evangeline Kingdom, this is a totally reasonable fear to have because it's most likely what would happen. Divorce would have been a huge risk in her case, and may have just made the situation worse.

"Now, who we should really talk about is Elskas mom! Aka, the centauress who abandoned her newborn!"

Now that's an interesting point! Her actions seem pretty rotten on the surface, and I can confidently say it wasn't the smartest decision Jorun could have made...Though in her mind, she chased those wolves into the fog for the "greater good".

Apparently the local ecosystem was becoming destabilized (which we would later find out was due to Evangeline Kingdom's interference) and this was causing wolves to encroach into Loreham, emerging from the fog and snatching centaurs away--especially children. Jorun was afraid that Elska would get snatched one day if she didn't take action, so she began to hunt them.

But like Elska, Jorun's rage often got the best of her, which is exactly what happened when she saw one of her hunting buddies get dragged into the fog. Jorun leapt into action to save her fellow tribesman, but met an unknown fate in the mist.

I think Jorun's biggest flaws were her arrogance and lack of self-awareness. Not the sharpest knife in the block, that one...and unfortunately, her daughter suffered the consequences of her foolishness the most.

*

Questions/Comments?

Lore Masterpost

Read the Series

[direwombat]

4, 6, 9, 15, 19 + Saoirse?

ahhhhh first ask game for babygirl saoirse! thank you amanda!

oc nsfw asks

4. Are they more of a dom, sub, or switch? If applicable, are they a top, bottom, or vers?

fa;fldj so, i will preface this (and honestly all subsequent answers) with the fact that saoirse, much like paola, is a-spec, and price is the first person she's ever been interested in sexually. she's fairly vanilla if only because she's inexperienced (she isn't naive she knows how sex works, she's just...a little repressed and catholic), so i really don't think these terms are...well, accurate to how she perceives her actions in the bedroom. but, if pressed to answer: she's vers and a switch with subby leanings. in terms of giving and receiving, they're fairly equal, but she does go weak at the knees whenever price's "beast" comes out to play. her brain does short circuit and the feminism leaves her body when he shoves her against a wall and shoves his thigh between her legs.

6. Any place they absolutely would not have sex?

lmao anywhere in public or anywhere that has a good possibility of someone walking in on/otherwise seeing them. she's also a fairly public facing figure (well respected journalist and podcaster (blue checkmarked by twitter and everything)) and she likes to keep her personal and work lives as separate as possible. she's embarassed enough that she, an anti-war and anti-colonialist activist has a beau who's a captain in the SAS.

also "dinners and diatribes" is on their playlist so like...saoirse knows when price starts getting antsy when they're in public and she'll make him wait. she has fun teasing him in the moment while they're still out and about and he has fun making her pay later by spending hours edging her.

9. What’s their favorite way to get in the mood? How do they set the mood?

fa;sldkfjasd well, if the mood isn't set by saoirse making price wait to arrive back at one of their flats, then it's usually by her asking if he wants a massage. you know that man carries a bunch of tension in his neck and shoulders and she'll occasionally help relieve that. and well...it doesn't take much for her hands to start wandering.

as far as setting the mood, i think she only makes an effort regarding atmosphere whenever price is due to come back from deployment. a home cooked meal, candles, roses, and stuff like that. she knows he doesn't need any of those things to make sex special, but after spending weeks -- if not months -- in the literal and metaphorical trenches, she likes having something nice ready for him.

15. Describe their favorite sexual encounter.

ah, well...considering saoirse hadn't been with anyone sexually before price, she'd probably say her favorite encounter was their first time. saoirse had confided in him that she'd never had sex before and he was perfectly happy to let her dictate the pace of their physical interactions. and saoirse was under the impression that when it did eventually happen, it'd be something slow and sweet, and just like how it is in the romance novels she read as a teenager.

but life has a funny way of happening and things ended up a lot more rushed and frantic and uh...life affirming than either had anticipated it being. price was domineering, but not rough, and he ended up taking the lead and for a woman who's really only ever used a rabbit vibrator whenever she's had to scratch that itch, he makes her feel entirely new sensations and made her feel good in ways she never even could have imagined

19. When they “dress-up” for sex, what’s their go-to outfit? Lingerie, suit, gown, etc.?

dfa;lkdfjadf very similar to her work clothes, but she makes a point to unbutton her blouse to show off a lacy black bra underneath and a tight pencil skirt that leaves very little to the imagination. complete with matching lacy black panties and garters to hold up her stockings. either she ends up fumbling through a strip tease for price or price gets to unwrap her like a present. win-win either way tbh. and this is an answer to an entirely different question, but i think they occasionally do tongue-in-cheek roleplay with them playing exaggerated versions of their jobs (usually with an interview/interrogation)

[twooboomoomoo]

HIIII can you tell me a bit about your main dbz oc <3 whatever details you'd like to share!

Regna backstory lore time!!! I have decided to just straight info dump this so good luck, I tried to shorten it and did a read more, so I hope that helps!!

Regna doubles as Hell Rebellion's main protagonist and my self insert, so he's extra special 💛. He's from the planet Bouquātia (bouquet-tah. Idk if that's proper spelling but oh well),.

Regna has a step brother Rika who he is very close with, and their royal advisor-turned-grandfather Bazi. Regna is also a mutant, and has an ability to pretty much stun and disable opponents by using their ki against them. It comes at the cost of being a huge stamina drainer. He's also an absolute technology genius, being able to develop planetary force fields, completely modify scouters and other technology, stuff like that.

Bouquātia, as well as the system's other six planets, were being methodology annexed by K.ing Cold into his empire. By the time Regna became king, there were four planets left independent (including his). When the planet was eventually annexed, there were two left. Regna knew Bouquātia was in danger, the planet taken before his had completely lost their royal family, so Regna sent Rika and Bazi off planet to ensure their survival. (It did work!)

After Bouquātia was annexed by the Cold Empire, Regna spent the following six years training and dismantling key tech Empire outposts. His mission was to eventually wear down the Empire 's defenses while also gaining stronger, and to finally take down K.ing Cold. However, his obsession with avenging his planet came at a cost, and his dismantling of outposts eventually also sometimes cost the lives of the people that lived there. He does eventually fight Cold and does while doing so, however due to his actions and destabilizing, Bouquātia is able to regain independence (once Cold retires that portion of the Galaxy goes to Cooler)

This gets him into Hell, which is the actual setting for Hell Rebellion. He meets a Namekian named Periwinkle, and the two are pretty much best friends. Eventually joined by Raditz once he does, the trio are kinda a rouge bounty-esque group who run like underground trading groups. (Still figuring out exactly what the Hell situation is).

They're close with one another, passing around the same braincell. Typical strong one, pretty one, one with weird powers dynamic.

Eventually when Cold and the rest of the army dies, their main operation is countering them and keeping them from establishing a new empire in Hell.

Regna is still revenge-bound on Cold, and his story would follow him having to accept the facts while also dealing with life moving on while he's been dead. He also gets to have a little romance. As a treat.

He likes flowers and magic girl shows, and is serious up until his brain cell is revoked. Then he's just a dork 💛.

[maya-matlin]

Your metas are phenomenal! I realized while reading your take on Barchie that even though I'm with you on shipping Brucas and Bughead, Barchie is for me a worse ship than Leyton. Part of that is no doubt due to the fact that for all of OTH's problems, it's imo not nearly as awful as Riverdale quickly becomes after the first one or two seasons. It's mostly just that there's a lot more to leyton imo. Like you and I might not like them or buy that they have true love or even very good chemistry, but I can at least see why others view their story and see them as in love. But with Barchie it's like you didn't even sell me on them being genuinely close friends let alone in love. As you point out their entire relationship seems rooted in childhood memories, not in any sort of present day friendship and connection. And then they go from literally almost never even having conversations and both of them having years-long relationships with other people they love to being 'friends with benefits' and even then there's no real feeling or substance or connection or anything, you know? I'm not phrasing this well, but I just feel like Barchie is so hollow and empty. I may not personally like Leyton, but I can objectively acknowledge that at least there's something there---Barchie is just kind of total nothingness that the writers 75% into the series started pretending was meaningful. And again your metas are such a gift!

Thanks! I genuinely don't think they're anything special, but I like answering asks LOL

Yeah. My feelings about Leyton vs Barchie are complicated for that reason. The love story between Lucas and Peyton bothers me because in my opinion, there's plenty wrong with it from the beginning. It's based in something that feels very shallow with the narrative claiming there's this deep, intense connection rather than showing it to us. Then when Lucas and Peyton finally do decide to get together, it's behind Brooke's back. Their affair leaves Brooke with a lot of trust issues. And then, Peyton and Lucas have the audacity to stab her in the back a second time, after they've spent the past season and a half claiming they'll never hurt her again and that the circumstances are now different. That being said, the fact Lucas and Peyton's feelings are established as a mutual thing from the very beginning means that when late season 3 and season 4 heads back to LP, it's rooted in something believable. If nothing else, I can appreciate that One Tree Hill properly showed that just because your intentions are supposedly good and what you have is "true love always," that doesn't mean other people's feelings don't matter. A lot of time was devoted to Brooke eventually finding her own "true love" and working past the double betrayal of Lucas and Peyton.

In the case of Barchie, 100%. It really feels like in the beginning, the plan was to move away from the Betty/Archie/Veronica love triangle that had dominated the comics for decades and explore other things. Betty was allowed to want things other than Archie and to have a real, genuine relationship with Jughead where she was both happy and fulfilled without feeling as though she'd missed out on not winning the golden cock, so to speak. Betty and Veronica formed a strong friendship based on more than competing over the same guy. Even Archie seemed to have a strong preference for Veronica over Betty in spite of occasional moments like "a part of me always thought.." at the end of season 1. The writers set up their eventual relationship and cheating in an extremely poorly done way. They even used flashbacks during the big Origin of Love scene, but it only flashed back to the first two episodes of Riverdale and their season 2 kiss because that was the beginning and end of their BA build up. And absolutely! I didn't detect any true fondness or interest in the Betty/Archie relationship during seasons 5 and 6. It felt like they were checking off things on a list. Like, they have to live together, get engaged at some point, become official, say I love you, blah blah blah. It's like, they decided to fulfill every BA's dream and then literally blew up the universe. I honestly think the writers hated their jobs by the end and resented their fans for still caring about the characters and relationships established years before. Still, it's upsetting that Jughead and Veronica weren't allowed to voice the fact that they were hurt over Betty and Archie betraying them. Unlike on One Tree Hill, it was as though they walked on eggshells and went out of their way to ensure nothing was the slightest bit awkward for Betty and Archie (but mostly Archie because Betty at least emotionally suffered for years over what she'd done while Archie didn't seem to have the slightest bit of shame or guilt). As much as I hated seeing Brooke heartbroken and disliked the effect it had on her friendship with Peyton, that's more honest to me that both Veronica and Jughead never properly acknowledging that Archie and Betty had been in the wrong and needed to make amends.

[m-jelly]

Being with Levi and Erwin HC

Hello! The headcanon list is back!

This is a list I worked with @ladycheesington on that demonstrates a loving relationship you have with both men and you live with them. It gives background, how it all started and how it goes.

If you do not like this kind of thing and prefer my normal Levi x Reader stuff, that's absolutely fine! This is just something wholesome and fun I put together with a bit of help from a wonderful friend.

For those who will read it, please enjoy!

This does contain 18+ content

Levi x reader X Erwin threesome link!

How it started facts:

Levi and the reader were a couple first.

Levi notices Erwin giving you longing looks and blushing around you. Levi brings it up and says "We should date him."

You both approach Erwin and have a small meeting and talk it through. 

Both are high in business, one CEO and the other a president of the company.

You'd go on dates with just Erwin. Levi would join in. 

Erwin and Levi would go out together, but not dates and more like hanging out to get comfortable even though they're already friends. It's a chance to talk about the relationship together.

Cute relationship stuff first, no sex yet. 

Levi and Erwin's would eventually become dates.

All three of you would have serious dates after and ask Erwin if he wants to join you.

Rules will be set and safe words.

You don’t work and live at Levi and Erwin’s place. 

Erwin and Levi:

They would cuddle

They would kiss

When it comes to sex, no anal, but they will touch each other's dicks.

They would go on outings together and enjoy each other's company. 

They'd make each other laugh.

Get each other gifts.

These two had worked together and were friends for a very long time, they slip into their new romantic dynamic with you in the centre of it all.

Gym buddies - will send you selfies together to get you riled up.

Levi and you:

Was with you first for a bit before Erwin joined. 

Very loving and clinging to you. Will hold onto you as much as possible.

Works fewer hours, so he is with you more at home.

Love language - quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation 

Soft dom - leads in the bedroom and things can get kinky with you both.

Dates - mostly at home. He will make you a romantic dinner, and watch movies with you. He will take you to museums as well. Cafe, teashops, picnics, pillow forts.

Can be a teaser. 

Has confidence and is a bit of a schemer with you. 

Sex-positive and confident together. 

Lots of cuddle sessions.

Both lack confidence but support each other.

Erwin and you:

Soft boy. Good boy. 

He loves a nice cuddle session with you. 

Showers you with gifts whenever he can. He’s not home as much as Levi due to his higher rank, so he gives you things and will send you cute phone messages to remind you that he loves you and Levi. 

You help him relax. Erwin works hard and you’re there to support him and keep him positive. You help him wind down after a long day.

Can be a little shy sometimes with the romance, but he’s always learning new things.

Dates - he’d take you to high-class restaurants and spoil you. You’d go on shopping trips together and he’d buy you anything you want. Museums as well that allow you both to learn something new, or about something you both love.

Love languages - maybe giving gifts, acts of service, words of affirmation.

Soft sub - you often take the lead and guide him in the bedroom. Vanilla at first, but will experiment as time goes on. Isn’t as kinky as Levi.

Levi, you and Erwin:

Group cuddle sessions on the sofa or in the bedroom. Erwin is always the big spoon for you and Levi. Erwin enjoys holding people. 

Dinner together. You’ll always eat together as a little family and cook together. You sometimes surprise each other by cooking something special without the others knowing. You will often make them lunch to take to work, or you’ll deliver the lunch to them.

Date night - at home together. You’ll watch movies and cuddle. Pampering nights, you’ll have your nails done, warm baths, massages, facials and talking. Sometimes go out on picnics together and to a nice restaurant. Both will flirt with you on outdoor dates so they can show you off.

Both shower you in love. They will cuddle you together and give you lots of kisses. Play Fighting around the apartment/house. Both adore you a lot and work together to make you happy. You will often get sandwiched between the two of them. 

Share a bed together - you have a large bed for all three of you, but there are spare rooms for you to go to if a night's rest is needed, or someone has to get up early. Most of the time the spare rooms are used due to work making people get up at crazy times.

Erwin goes on business trips the most - when he does go you and Levi video call him and chat to him so he doesn’t feel lonely. When both boys go they share a hotel room and call you up so you don’t feel so alone.

Everyone has allocated jobs in the house/apartment. Levi will always be the cleaner. Erwin will most likely work out the bills. You will cook and bake. 

You have a group chat on the phone. No private chats once Erwin accepts being in the relationship. Everything is out in the open and everyone is included. 

You would not be working as both men have asked you to relax at home and pursue your hobbies. However, if you really love a job, they will not stop you from doing it. If there is some job or hobby you want to do, they will support you and help you do the hobby.

The sizes and shapes:

Erwin - Long but average thickness. He'd be about 7-7.5 inches.

Levi - Thick but not super long. He'd be about 6 inches.

Sex:

Vanilla at first. Levi will take the lead and guide Erwin through how to give you pleasure. He will move Erwin’s hands, hips, head etc. Levi will even guide Erwin’s dick. (You’d enjoy watching Levi touching Erwin and helping Erwin out.)

Very caring and loving towards you. Your pleasure and safety are their priority. Sex is always about you. You’ll be asked and questioned how you are feeling and if everything is okay.

No butt stuff. Both men do not enjoy it and therefore it is not done to them or you. 

The safeword is agreed upon beforehand, so if you ever need to (you never do as they’re good boys) they will stop right away and comfort you.

When confidence has been built, Levi would start to soft dom you. Erwin will like to watch and enjoy you being soft-dommed. You do switch, as you dom Erwin. Sometimes you will play a brat role.

When being a brat, Levi will always dish out punishment and Erwin will be encouraged to instruct. 

No degradation, only praise. The only negative thing said is you being called a naughty girl but in a playful way.

Levi will put you on display a bit and ask Erwin to watch. Levi will ask Erwin to show you when he’s with you so Levi can watch.

Both men will touch each other and kiss during. You can masturbate them together. 

Both enjoy dressing up and lace. They will dress up for you and would like you to dress up for them. 

Toys will be added later on, such as cock rings. Other playful things will be brought in as well, such as silk ties. 

Both enjoy creampies and will like to ‘double stuff’ you with cum. The breeding kink is Levi’s, but Levi will introduce Erwin to it. Erwin will watch you and Levi carry out the kink and like it so much that he wants to try it. Once he tries, he wants to do it all the time.

Levi is the dirty talker, but Erwin isn’t. Levi will talk dirty to you the whole time while Erwin just worships and admires you.

If Erwin is away on business, you and Levi will video call him and carry out phone sex. You’d both encourage Erwin to touch himself and ask him to lead you and Levi. The camera will be POV most of the time. 

They'd like sandwiching you between them, one fucking you and the other rubbing against you or fucking your thighs. All three are on your sides.

Erwin will sit up against the headboard with you sucking him. You’ll be in prone with your hips elevated by pillows and Levi will be making love to you. Prone bone.

Aftercare:

Clean you up and massage your body.

They’d treat you like a Queen after and ask you if you are okay and if there is anything they can do for you.

Lots of snacks and water. 

Kisses and cuddles - you’ll be squished between both men as they shower you in love.

Bath time together - you have a big bath that all three of you can get in. Both men will work together to clean you and soothe you. 

Sleeping together in the same bed after. You’ll be in the middle and held by both men.