#they'll kill you carp

[jotun-philosopher]

Discworld/Good Omens parallels ramble

Exactly what it says on the tin! These are some fun little Discworld/Good Omens parallels that my brain picked up on at various times (usually 3 a.m. or thereabouts... Thanks, mum, for the persistent insomnia...)

Mild-to-moderate spoilers for Wyrd Sisters, Lords And Ladies, Men At Arms and Carpe Jugulum below the cut.

In A Life With Footnotes, the official biography of Terry Pratchett, Rob Wilkins mentions that when he was in school, a young Pterry wrote for English class a story (sadly lost to the mists of time) about orcs attacking a vicarage in full Jane-Austen-spoof fashion. Now, given how the Whickber Street Shopkeepers' Ball turned out, it seems reasonable to assume one of two things: a) this story was not a factor under consideration when writing S2 and the parallel is an ineffably delightful coincidence (a bit unlikely) b) this story *was* an inspiring factor in the writing of S2, and the nod to Pterry happened to work really well with the plot (seems a bit more likely). Either way, the parallel is there and giving me all of the warm fuzzies <3

There's an idea in Discworld, forming a significant part of the moral backbone of the series, that's very succinctly summed up by Granny Weatherwax in Carpe Jugulum: "[S]in [...] is when you treat people like things. Including yourself." This is absolutely at the core of what's wrong with Heaven and Hell and God and Satan in Good Omens; the leadership and culture of both organisations/cults treat everyone -- angels, demons and humans alike -- as disposable things to be used and toyed with and discarded or destroyed if they start having the temerity to be imperfect or form opinions or thoughts of their own.

There're two characters in Discworld who parallel Aziraphale surprisingly strongly: Magrat Garlick (of the Lancre witches) and Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch. -*Magrat is viewed as a bit of a soft, soppy 'wet hen' by the other witches, but she is still a witch, with all that that implies. She also has at least one scene in every book in which she appears where she does something extremely badass and witchy; for example, turning an ancient wooden door back into a tree, or (very pertinently to GO) delivering a literally iron-clad punch to the face of a villain who's mentally torturing her with her own insecurities. Likewise, Aziraphale seems to mostly be viewed as a bit dull and wimpy by the other angels we see (though Magrat still has the genuine respect of her witchy peers) but he is still an angel -- a Principality -- with all the powers, steadfast guardianship and bloody-minded stubbornness of that rank. The Metatrash might not be vulnerable to iron in the same way as Discworld elves, but you can bet that his attempt to break Aziraphale and bring him into line is going to backfire just as spectacularly! *For the parallel between Aziraphale and Captain (well, Corporal, at this point in the Discworld timeline) Carrot, the novel I have in mind is Men At Arms. At one point, Vimes is being held at crossbow-point by a villain, and has a bout of internal monologuing about how, if someone has you at their mercy, you'd better hope they're evil, because that way they'll take time to gloat and mock you so you'll have an opportunity to think of a way out; a good man will kill you with barely a word. Carrot does exactly that at the climax of the plot, putting his sword through the villain and the stone pillar behind said villain without saying a thing. Now, Aziraphale might not quite have Carrot's 'incorruptible pure pureness' tendencies, but he is -- for all his flaws -- a good person. If he knows that something needs to be done to prevent an evil outcome, he will DO it without hesitation. He knows how to use a sword, too, and if That Frickin' Elevator Smile Of Tranquil Fury is any indication, the Metatrash is in far deeper doodoo than he realises! Related to the above, The Smile also reminds me of the old adage, "beware the fury of a patient man." (Well, man-shaped being in this case...) Very appropriate for our careful, thoughtful angel -- it would not surprise me (much) if Metatron were to depart the plot of S3 with a flaming sword pinning him to one of Heaven's columns (probably won't happen, but I can dream, eh?)

Hope you enjoyed reading all that :D

[randomfoggytiger]

"You Don't Know the First Thing About Me"

(Fictober, Day 19)

******

When he was lamentably green, the truth was shut away-- trickled out only to desperate men and only in doses so small as to drive them further insane. He sat, he stood, and he listened, eagerly trying to fill in a patchwork of names and events, the past and the future.

Then he was assigned. Then he had a partner. 

Then they had the gall to wag a finger at him, wrestle him away from his first big break, and stuff him back into a dark closet somewhere until Bill Mulder’s death. 

All in all, Krycek wasn't sorry that his first round with the Syndicate ended with a car bomb and bitter feelings.

*****

Survival, Krycek decided, hinged on which truth you picked-- a lie to the world or a lie to yourself. He chose to fool the world, knowing they changed their truth every 3-5 business days, anyway. Weak, blind, close-minded drones who wanted their 'i's dotted, their 't's crossed, and their worldviews unchallenged by the widening realities of the universe. So, he played their game: caught and tossed back the ball they threw, showed them exactly what they wanted to see, told them exactly what they wanted to hear.

*****

What he learned in the Consortium’s charm school was to win friends and influence people. What he learned from his black-lunged superior was to carpe diem his way into any complication possible. What he hadn't quite learned on his own was how to get out of it. 

Single-minded Mulder, foolish old men, and out-of-touch aliens chased tails, circled each other, and howled at the moon day after day, year after year-- and had nothing to show for it. He was especially disappointed with the vastly narrow-minded scope of his former partner (Krycek had given up old ciggie Spender for loss years ago when he'd stuttered "thank you, yes, thank you" over the phone.) It took Mulder nearly four years to finally stop and listen when Krycek told him what no one else would-- “There is no truth, they just make it up as they go along"-- and by then Mulder didn't want to listen.

The Consortium really did pick ‘em. 

Krycek had to admit, though, that their microscopic self-indulgence had done one thing right. They’d created a woman as warm-blooded and cold hearted as himself and let her loose to wreak havoc on his life.

At the game table of allies and foes, Marita was the master: effective because she was impersonal, believable because she was polished. She’d paid him one compliment in their entire sorry acquaintance: dragged out of a train by Jeffrey Spender and into the getaway car by Krycek, Marita locked her sickly, tortured eyes on his and spat, “They'll die because they don't understand what we do.” He’d let the cryptic compliment slide-- it was probably an accurate though open-ended statement, after all-- but neither was sorry the rest of the ride was in silence.

******

Jeffrey Spender: one of those sudden plays of fate. Pushed in, given a job he hated, pushed back out; and when he resisted, Jeff got a bullet to the skull.

Apparently, not all the Syndicate had been crisped.

His loss.

Funny how Jeffy boy only fumbled around long enough to trade loyalties and die the hero's death. He didn't know the game, didn't care to learn the rules, and got cut out like a rookie.

Better to be a thrill-seeking fool than a virtuous one, Krycek reasoned: virtue grew out of a conscience; and a conscience was a fickle asset, liable to get you killed over the smallest twinge. So, he let the ethical humbugs have their fun fingerpainting with morality, watched them crawl over glass to prove that their tormented existence was bettered by a few lines they wouldn't cross. No need to go out of his way for any of them.

They always come crawling back.

*****

Thank you for reading~

Enjoy!

Tagging @today-in-fic and @xffictober2023, and @fictober-event

[blubushie]

Why are you taking bounties on living breathing things? You're the reason animals go extinct.

Alright, I can kind of understand coyotes because they're canids and people like dogs and don't want them killed, despite the fact they're currently turning to cannibalism in some areas because they've eaten all the prey animals (what were you saying about going extinct?) to the point they're starving themselves to death, but pigs?

Firstly pigs are an invasive species. They should be exterminated because they aren't part of this ecosystem in either the US or Australia and they're destroying it. Also they're dangerous. They're not like other animals who generally keep their distance and avoid people, those animals are defensive. Pigs are aggressive and while attacks are pretty common, fatalities do happen. They'll also attack dogs, which is much more common and if you've never heard a dog scream as it's gored to death by a pig you should consider yourself lucky because that sound isn't something you'll ever forget.

Anyway, fuck pigs. They breed prolifically and they're not going anyway any time soon. The best we can do is try to keep their numbers down because complete extermination at this point is unlikely to ever happen. Worst things to ever happen to the Australian environment is cane toads, pigs, and fucking carp.

And if I'm going to make some cash while doing the environment a favour by preserving and protecting it, that's my business.

[ttmcdavid]

[text] maybe they'll yap as much as you do. 😂😂 babe, be forreal. us becoming friends is as realistic as a ghost becoming human again.

[text] soooo... they won't say anything? yeah that's kinda what i figured lol. i know, i know. just try not to kill each other @s4brina-carp

[eatnightmares]

1.13 bellwethers time...haha...yay... 🥲

at least it seems like they had a few days travel...slaps car roof you can fit plenty of bonding in there

and good lird when the dual narration hits!!! they have completely different goals and yet they've never been more in sync...and the descriptions are Soooooo evocative...

carpenter stans will hear the words willow tree and jump 3 feet in the air

our best friend A GOD WOUNDED THE LAND HERE. TURN BACK. <3

WHY IS THIS PODCAST SO SEXYYYYYY...THE BELLS!!!!!

nevermind i hate it here. "not a throne, nothing like that" :)))))) "because i know her now...i know she's already changing her mind about leaving our faith" HE DOESN'T KNOW HER AT ALL HE DOESN'T KNOW PAIGE EITHER. HE WANTS THEM BOTH WITH HIM BUT CAN ONLY IMAGINE IT WITHIN THE CONFINES OF HIS OWN NARRATIVE. ONLY IF THEY'LL PLAY THE ROLES HE DEIGNS TO GIVE THEM. AND THEN LITERALLY CONGRATULATING HIMSELF ON "MAKING ROOM" FOR THEM faulkner you are so so annoying and i love you so much. i need to bite you in half

god there is so much here. "this is extraordinary, this is beautiful" her bit in late s3 about how his miracles Are beautiful and something she dreamed of so why did he let her feelings turn to horror and disgust...

"so long as we're willing to shape it like this" faulkner just now!! we can reshape the world, we can stay be each others' side, but only if it looks exactly like this!!!!

"if it was just you and i" making me fucking crazyyyyyyy how she doesn't elaborate on Who else is there that's making it so she can't make excuses. i think it's both the sainted citizens around her and her ongoing struggle to empathize with strangers but also...

last ep "but you're not alone" "yeah, i know" gwaaoaosoggugghhhh. it's faulkner. it's this stupid fucking kid who's following her lead. following her into the jaws. "without hope or sense for either of us" if it was just her giving herself to the thing that will eat her that'd be one thing. but here's this kid, too young for this to be something he can't come back from. she won't be responsible for it. just. him being part of the reason she had the courage to leave!!!! even if he won't go with her!!!!!

let's kill ourselves. something about faulkner claiming half the crutch when he doesn't need it. you're not turning me into an allegory faulkner...she's not a metaphor she's not a story. she literally is. gruh.

IT ISN'T FAIR TO YOU!!!!!! BABYGIRL MY SWEET CARP IT ISN'T FAIR TO YOU EITHERRRRRRRRR

anathema first appearance and she pronounces it an entirely different way <3 so fun how she suggests they both just fuck off and live alone...she rejoined the faith bc she couldn't bear to be alone anymore but the community was never what her faith was about to her...

"this thing doesn't come with a face you or i can strike at" a thesis statement of the show and yet...they'll all still go on desperately trying...

it really is so fucked that as soon as he learns more about her history he tries to use it against her :( and of course it goes deeper for him than she makes out but she's not wrong either!!

"most convenient vessel" something something promised bride...

SO FIND ME SOMETHING BETTER. SO FIND ME SOMETHING BETTER. SO FIND ME SOMETHING BETTER. TEARS ALL MY SKIN OFF. BECAUSE SHE DID!!!! AFTER EVERYTHING HE'S GOING TO DO TO HER SHE STILL FOUND HIM SOMETHING BETTER. AND IT STILL WASN'T ENOUGH. TOGETHER. YOU AND I.

anyway. roake as a parallel to faulkner, carpenter shattering his corpse and that being what spurs him to attacking her. shattering his ego/self made image. yayyyyyyy.

i love you faulkner hypocrisy moments in script. <3 also "you think...i'll fall in line with your way of seeing things if you raise your voice just enough" broooo you're being a cringe youngest sibling you're making the rest of us look bad

CHRIST I FORGOT HE PUNCHED HER SO HARD SHE LOSES A TOOTH??? FAULKNER YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN BEGGING ON THE FLOOR FOR HER FORGIVENESS GRAAAAHHHHHH

i've already talked about it but "you'll take that boy and you'll eat him up" monologue. ahahahahahahaha. hahahahahah. ha. kms. (i barely have the capacity to think about it with the Everything about this part but i must mention. carp having so so much empathy for this kid. but never mentioning herself and what's been done to her. or maybe she is talking about herself...)

INSTANTLY COVERING FOR HIM 0 HESITATION. HE DOESN'T DESERVE YOUUUUUUU

oh he pushes her out of the way...they really are besties from the start...

faulkner rescue scene is really funny tbh. (skitters out of the mist) FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!! (skitters back into the mist)

officer down 🎉🎉

"I’m not so sure I’m willing to be a sacrifice after all." rip sid wright you would've loved the many below

good lird...such an episode...my siblings of all time...she knows she needs to leave and she wants him to go with her. he thinks he needs to stay and wants her to stay with him. the beginning is the end is the beginning.

[800lbhammer]

they'll kill you carp

[blubushie]

Oh I guarantee you they'll allow for fishing them eventually. Carp are fucking cunts. They ruin ecosystems and they're bloody impossible to get rid of, breed like rabbits, are massive waste producers, and use up a LOT of oxygen in the water. This is even worse when they eat the plants that provide oxygen. They outcompete native species, ruin the botanical ecosystem while they're at it, and leave ammonia-riddled bodies of water in their wake. The only way to fully kill off carp is to overstock them to the point they suffocate themselves from lack of oxygen or they just outright kill themselves off with the ammonia spikes they themselves cause. Downside is that this also kills everything else in the water as well. Carp is how you get dead zones.

Chookas on the carp fishing!

Grass carp have been stocked in a fair few lakes but unless specifically noted, they’re illegal to fish for and retain. And very few lakes let you fish for them

I do suspect that sooner or later some of those lakes will allow for the fishing of grass carp because they did their job and took out the invasive plants and now they’re just causing problems. Also CT doesn’t allow for the fishing of them at all but Rhode Island apparently does so I may have to invest in a RI license once I’m out there too.

[them0thprincegrim0ire]

Hello!

So I made a post ages ago (over the summer, I think? Time has no meaning to me lol) about doing a sort-of "pilgrimage" for the Goddesses using Breath of the Wild and it gained some interest! I've done it a couple of times since then but didn't really post about it because I didn't think anyone on my main would be interested, but now that I have this seperate blog exclusively for my own practice, I figured why not make a post about how I did it!

**Please note!!! This is just how I do this and how I carry out my practice. This is in no way a set of rules you HAVE to follow. If you want to take this idea and adjust it to fit your practice, or completely change aspects of it, go for it! I'm not here to determine anyone's path except my own**

Some context: I currently live in a tiny studio apartment. I don't have much room for a shrine or altar, and when I do anything witchy it usually takes place on my coffee table. So when I decided I wanted to work with the Golden Goddesses, it made me sad that I didn't really have space to honour them or leave offerings. Then I think I read a post on here about digital shrines and got this idea! A pilgrimage using Breath of the Wild that gives me the ability to give offerings to shrines that are already dedicated to the Goddesses!

First, I'll start out grabbing my favourite horse! This is my first horse, Cricket! I also will dress Link in his regular clothes, and give him a normal shield and weapons. Personally, I want to really drive home that this is me, and not me channeling The Hero, so I try not to wear/use anything associated with Link The Hero (Master Sword, Champion's Tunic, Epona, etc).

You can start your journey from anywhere! I usually like to start from Link's house in Hateno, but it doesn't really matter that much. This time, my game loaded me in close to the Spring of Power in Akkala, so that's where I started. I dont think it really matters what order you go to the shrines, but I usually end my journey at the Temple of Time and pray to Hylia last.

When I get to a shrine, the first thing I do is go right up to the statue and say a small prayer. I'll end with thanking them, and then I'll give my offerings to the water at the base of the statue. The offerings totally depend on what you associate with the Goddess! I'll go over my associations at the end.

Finally, I'll let Link sleep at a fire nearby until morning. For me this is symbolic of a time of reflection, and by giving that time in game, I can reflect on the Goddess while the game loads, and it gives the avatar we're currently using (Link) that time to reflect as well! And then I just repeat these steps for Nayru, Farore, and Hylia.

Some rules I set up for myself to make it feel more "authentic":

- no fast travel! Take your time to appreciate Hyrule and reflect on how the Goddesses used their power to form such a beautiful place.

- Stop and give thanks/offerings to any Sheikah shrines (those collections of little frog statues on the side of roads). They'll keep you safe and bring luck

- do not kill anything! This is to be a time of reflection, you can stop to harvest materials, but I do not hunt animals while participating on this journey. I give myself a pass to kill monsters terrorizing civilians because they are not there by the grace of Hylia and I am helping the people of Hyrule by doing so.

- if you see one of the sacred dragons, stop and take it in! They are extensions of the Goddesses and are incredible! Personally, I also send up a small prayer of gratitude to the dragon as well, but that's only because I work with them too

Again, these rules are not necessary!! Change them or get rid of them to fit your personal needs!

Here are some things I use as offerings to the Goddesses!

I give one Silent Princess flower with each offering, as they are a universal offering.

Din:

- anything with warmth buffs (spicy pepper, warm safflina, sunshroom, etc)

- anything with attack or defense buffs (mighty thistle, ironshroom, mighty carp, etc)

- rocks or precious gems

- anything that comes from Dinraal

Nayru:

- anything with cooling buffs (chillshroom, cold safflina, etc)

- anything with healing buffs (hearty salmon, hearty truffle, etc)

- anything with stealth buffs (bluebells, sneaky river snail, etc)

- anything from Naydra

Farore:

- anything with electric buffs (electric safflina, voltfruit, etc)

- acorns, eggs, fruit/vegs, and other forest harvestables

- anything from Farosh

Hylia:

- cultivated harvestables (hylian rice, fresh milk, cane sugar, etc)

- precious gems

- any flowers you find beautiful!

- anything with health buffs

And yeah, that's about it! Sorry this post is so long and the quality of the pictures is kinda bad, but I've done this every time I feel I need to talk to my Goddesses and they've given me signs every time! It helps me feel closer to them. If you try it, let me know how it turns out!!