#they��re canon to me and all their cookie crumbs

[akampana]

im the anon who asked for obscure artoria ships - tysm for answering! i knew you liked kojiro/artoria from early tpof, but ozymandias/artoria was unexpected! ozytoria sounds interesting from the way you describe it - ive always sort of seen it as an almost-giltoria dynamic minus the hostility and antagonism. i think that modern au idea sounds incredibly sweet 😭 honestly i like the idea of them but there is virtually no fancontent OR canon content of them (besides that one lartoria comment in ozy's interlude?) so its a half-built ship for me as of now. and yes, please talk about kojiro/artoria for the ship game! i'd love to see more of your thoughts on them. on nobu/artoria - YES nobu is incredibly beautiful its crazyyy. i got into shipping them because of mastoria/nobu in koha-ace, interactions in fgo and a user's thoughts on them here on tumblr (you can find them if you search up nobutoria).

Hi, @glowingarchive! good to see you in the inbox. :)

Oh, no way, really? Thought I was being subtle with Kojirou apparently not XD. And your thoughts on Ozy and Arturia, I totally agree. If you want, I made art for them a while ago, but didn't end up posting it.

*cracks knuckles* Alright, let's go.

Kojirou Sasaki X Arturia Pendragon - SHIP IT

What made you ship it?

This is gonna sound strange, but do hear me out.

My love for this ship evolved from the first time it caught my attention, but to be completely honest it all started with another ship: Diarturia.

After re-watching and re-reading FZ, FSN, and UBW, something kept coming up for me. We all know FZ is an incredible prequel sequel, created with stunning precision to fit the already existing narrative, which is why, even when consuming the series as a whole based on the timeline of events, Arturia's character still makes sense.

Their expert craftmanship made the fact that the 5th HGW is Saber's second attempt a lot clearer. Why? because it brings to the table a theme that was already there and yet not too fleshed out:

Deja vu. Or, in Saber's case, a double deja vu.

For example, this line:

Before Zero, it only means 'oh cool so she's fought spearmen before.' but after Zero, you finally know exactly who she's talking about.

But why do I say it's a double deja vu for her?

Let's begin with the obvious one. The parallels between Cú and Diarmuid are pretty clear. Like you just know Zero Lancer's character was patterned after the existing Lancer, but given another purpose. There are gifsets all over Tumblr that illustrate their similarity too.

BUT Cú and Arturia (ooh it kills me to say this) only just fall short of the borderline flirtatious "I wanna have a glorious fight to the death with you because you're worthy" energy. Furthermore, they meet only briefly.

So where did they get that?

Kojirou bloody Sasaki

More below the cut.

It's parallel time. (there are a few more but hnggg tumblr limits)

THEY PROTECC. THEY ATTAC. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY THEY WANNA FIGHT HER BACK.

No, but seriously. I don't think this is a coincidence. Diarmuid must have been some sort of amalgamation of Kojirou and Cú, the best of both. And that is also why the previous deja vu point hits harder.

Honestly, when that realization came, I was totally not expecting it. I was supposed to be looking for Diarturia crumbs and instead I found myself another whole-ass cookie. And one that unjustly has barely anything in the fandom, even if we have more straightforward lines like this:

Which is, by the way, one of the answers to the next question.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

So, now that you know how I got into shipping this, unorthodox as it seems, I think it's time to move past the parallels and into more solid ground.

Unlike other relationships that are more ambiguous and rely on potential, Kojirou's attraction to her is so in your face, it's refreshing.

Their banter is *chef's kiss*

It's only overshadowed because he so quickly became a gag servant, and ofc because the focus of the anime was Shirou. (Why did they do him like that though, he's actually so cool??? I mean, did Saber truly even beat him?? like???)

Saber comments on his skill with the sword, going so far as to say he outclasses him in swordsmanship. bruh, you can't take that lightly

They both see each other as worthy opponents. She literally tells him he's worthy of her full attention.

Kojirou sees her as the fulfillment of his wish, and Saber bloody actually gets to grant him the fight of his 'life' (FSN and UBW, not HF ;n;) when she couldn't do the same for a certain former rival. She even promises their fight's resolution because it is so important to her to see it through (UBW).

Kojirou really wants that fight, and fairly, without interruption. Which is why in FSN he goes as far as to stop the fight before Rider can spy on Saber's sword. And then later on, literally tells Shirou and Rin he doesn't give a shit about them, he just wants to fight Saber.

When he calls her out on holding back, especially since they're both running out of time, she apologizes and reveals Excalibur so they can fully face each other at full strength. UGH THE CHEMISTRY HGNGNGNGNGN. Also, since he knows this is their last fight, he's giving off "look at me, focus on me, don't think about anything else" vibes.

Also, man, Kojirou Sasaki really be out here serving up blatant eye smex every time they share the screen I swear to god.

Like let me give you a line from UBW 23, 19:08, right after Assassin notices she's damaged his katana

Arturia: Our positions...Assassin...are you... (that's what the subs say but Saber says "kisama" so I read it as "you bastard")

Kojirou, smirking: Is it wise to pull your blows? In this position, I could send you flying.

*Kojirou steps forward pressuring their locked swords and causing her to shuffle back a bit*

Arturia: Is that why you deliberately entered my range?

Look, Sasaki, we all see what you're doing, ya ain't slick.

Taken out of context and heck even *in* context that's sexual tension right there.

You better bet if he had the chance he'd be sticking that long-ass sword in-

Is there an unpopular opinion you have about your ship?

It's...baffling how unknown this ship is like...look at all that material. I mean of course it's going to be trounced in popularity by Shirou x Saber, GilArt, and Diarturia , but it should at least have accumulated enough of a following like Cuturia, for example.

Thank you for the ask! Hope you enjoyed the read as much as I enjoyed constructing this. :) feel free to share to gain more fans mwahahahahah join the dark side we have cookiessss

[lady-bertrams-pug]

Erejean, even numbers 2-24!

Holy shit this is gonna take a while. I’ll try to answer all of these for canonverse!

2. How’s their team work? Do they share well?I like to think that while in combat or a critical situation they team up well and have each other’s back. During planning or afterwards however... there’s a lot of headbutting which isn’t really on topic but their terrible way of showing they care and worry about the other.

4. First impression of each other? Was it love at first sight?Good lord no XD. Jean thinks Eren’s a self-righteous maniac with wall to wall anger issues, and Eren thinks Jean is a spoiled brat who only looks out for himself.

6. Any tasks that are always left to one person?Eren is a lot more diligent when it comes to keeping quarters tidy and folding sheets with military precision. Jean can’t deny he comes from a family where he had to take zero responsibility, and although he tries, Eren always ends up re-doing all the chores Jean did a half-assed job at. On the other hand, Jean is the one who makes sure Eren eats properly - Eren tends to forget eating until he nearly passes out and then stuffs himself stupid.

8. What do the like best about their partner?Jean loves Eren’s compassion and determination, and it spurs him on when he’s in a funk. Eren loves the quiet kindness in Jean that shows a lot more in his deeds than in his words.

10. Who drives? Cooks? Does the handiwork? Cleans? Pays the bills? Handles the public?Okay so for this I have to switch to modern au. Jean is a more level-headed driver while Eren frequently gets struck by road rage. He’s also good at cooking and feeding his bae is the greatest for him. Handiwork? They both suck terribly at it so they are infamous among the local professionals who have to repair their botched up home improvements. Eren does most of the cleaning and gets the odd surprise blowjob in return when he complains too much about Jean being such a slob. Bills are handled by Jean, who also always knows their savings and account balance down to the last cent. He’s the one who organizes their calendar, remembers to send birthday cards on time, and does the polite chitchat at parties. Eren would much rather hang out with his buddies and a keg of beer and is awful at hiding it.

12.  Is there a wedding? What was the proposal like? Any kind of honeymoon?Honestly I don’t see them being big in romantic gestures. Maybe in a modern au they would marry and adopt kids. The proposal would probably something that one of them accidentally blurted out in a completetly inappropriate moment.

14. Anything they both dread?Titans Spiders and other creepy-crawlies. It’s always Mikasa or Annie who come to their rescue.

16. Do they keep secrets? Lie? Cheat?Both value their relationship, or friendship in general, too high to ruin it with lies or secrets. (I’m not counting in small see-though stuff like “Did you eat the cookies I made for Armin’s birthday???” *wipes crumbs from chin* “Erm, cookies? What cookies? Nope. Don’t look at me like that.”). Cheating is also out of question. If one of them did happen to develop feelings for someone else, they’d sit down an talk it through.

18. What are their dates like? How long do/did they date? Do they ever feel the need to take a break from each other?Spare and undisturbed time is rare, and they try to sneak off as much as possible. I see Jean smuggling some food out of the kitchen so they can picnic, cuddle and nap.

20. What does their home look like? Their room?(Again, modern au) They have a ton of family and friends photos everywhere, and the living/family room is set up for gaming and movie marathons with the whole bunch. Jean would love to have a kitchen that’s large enough for a dining area and he likes company when he cooks. The bedroom is rather sparse so it’s easier to keep tidy, but don’t look in the closet. The closet is a graveyard of old sporting equipment and tangles Christmas fairy lights.

22. Does their work ever interfere with the relationship?In canon, obviously yes. They have to make choices, and they can’t afford to let themselves be led by personal feelings. It’s a hard lesson for both to learn. It’s also hard to do their job not knowing where the other is, or if he’s safe and alive.

24. Any doubts about the relationship?I think arguing over priorities and risks is inevitable. Both want to protect their partner, while at the same time not wanting to be protected. Sometimes it’s frustrating and they feel like they’re running in circles. Plus the unethical and morally grey things they’re forced to do take their toll - both have bouts of self loathing and tend to project it onto others. So they have phases where they’re bitter and resentful and need some time alone to calm down and think.

[anneapocalypse]

[RvB 15.05] On that closet thing.

Re: “grimmons is canon!”

Okay, I know this is going to ruffle some feathers, and all I can say is: if you’re happy with it by all means be happy with it. And probably stop reading now. I genuinely do not want to ruin what for some fans is a happy moment. So if you don’t want to hear criticism of how it was done, please just click the back button and we can let each other live.

That said--

Making lgbt+ characters and relationships solely into punchlines isn’t progressive, it isn’t revolutionary, it isn’t even anything new, and I’m not giving cookies for it.

For contrast, please note how m/f relationships are treated on this show. They’re upheld as “great loves” that transcend time and even death, even when they’re not the most healthy. They’re revealed in heartfelt journal entries, in comforting hand-holding, in grand gestures of love and sacrifice.

By contrast? A canonically bisexual character is portrayed from the start as a walking “dumb slut” stereotype and then to add insult to injury, her bisexuality is called “a phase.” A gender-nonconforming male character is a constant punchline about his effeminate demeanor and how he can’t help making everything sexual. A ship the creators have teased and baited for years is “confirmed” by the characters having sex in a literal closet and then acting upset about it afterward. The only respectful treatment of non-straight characters in 15 years of runtime was done by a guest writer.

Look, I want some queer rep as much as anybody but I’m not giving out cookies for crumbs. I love this show and I’m not going anywhere, but don’t spit in my face and expect me to thank you for the pleasure.