#they’re their beards aww

[hadeljoshi]

all they do is post each other now this is getting ridiculous it’s actually making me crazy

[peanutbubba]

Zoro shanks ace and law (seperate) x male reader fluff please i dont care if u add or remove anything dowhatever u wnat

OP Men x Strong Reader

Male reader, fluff, Ace and reader aren’t in a relationship, Reader is insecure of his strength in Law’s, not beta read, drabbles, Pre-timeskip Zoro (600+ words), Shanks (600 words), Law (800+ words), Ace (800 words)

Red Hair Shanks

Shanks was never the type of man to be tied down, as a pirate he could never really afford too, he had a dream and desire to be on the sea, it was as plain as that.

But when you came and joined his crew you took all that and threw it on its head, now there was hardly a moment where Shanks wasn’t thinking about you, or outright flirting shamelessly with you.

All of this started just because you were considerate to him, always keeping a keen eye on your captain.

Days where he was struggling with only having one arm, phantom pains, cramps in his arm, whatever it may be on that day you were sure to help him with no questions. You took on the weight of his burden without him even needing to ask, and that’s what made him fall for you so easily.

And on top of that you’re extremely hot, while you were super strong at the same time, what’s there not to like about you?

“Shanks, you’re staring off again,” You sigh, a small frown on your face, “Are you sure you’re not tired? I can take the night shift.”

Immediately Shanks shakes his head, red hair messily going back and forth with the motion, “No, it’s fine.”

You simply roll your eyes at your stubborn Captain, instead deciding to change the topic to something else, “What were you thinking about?”

“You,” he answers quickly, his voice genuine as he cockily smiles at you.

“Oh? So you'd rather fantasize over me rather than actually talk to me?” You tilt your head, smirk on your face as you tease Shanks.

“What?! That’s not what I meant,” he hurriedly says, his cocky attitude dropping nervously for a second.

You simply laugh, finding Shanks’ behavior funny, how a many could go from confident to worried in a second just pure funny. “Yeah, I know.”

Shanks deadpans, sticking his tongue out at you and blowing raspberries like a kid would, “You’re terrible.”

“Aww, but you still love me,” you point out, not at all deterred by Shanks’ comment, bumping his arm with your shoulder.

“Do I?” He replies back sarcastically, turning his head in faux pondering.

Punching his arm playfully you grumble, “No more kisses for you.”

“What?! Come on, anything but that baby,” Shanks pouts, taking the hit on his arm before leaning down and wrapping it around your waist.

Leaning towards you he tries to steal a kiss from your lips but you turn your head, a small whine of displeasure coming from shanks at the action.

Burying his face in your neck he mumbles another plea, his beard scratching you, red hair also tickling your face as it’s blown by the night breeze, “Please, I’m sorry.”

You sigh, your arms wrapping around Shanks as he perks up slightly, leaning in to get a kiss again. This time you allow him, your lips melting nicely against his in a sweet smooch, pulling away to be met with his goofy smile once again.

He tries leaning in for another one but is stopped by you, grabbing the man and hoisting him over your shoulder, his hand grabbing his coat as it falls from his shoulders.

He blushes at how easily you pick him up, hitting his hand against your back gently, “What are you-“

“Beckman’s here, let’s go to bed.” You quickly answer, beginning to move to your shared quarters.

Looking up Shanks sees the gray haired man waving goodbye at them, a knowing smirk on his face as Shanks goes tense. “Goodnight, Captain, Y/N.”

Trafalgar D. Water Law

A lot of the time Shachi would play pranks, usually harmless and all in good fun, until it suddenly goes wrong and they’re stuck with more chores than usual after Law catches them… However, it never deterred him, surprisingly.

You had been peacefully checking the Polar Tang’s pipes, making sure there were no punctures or complications. A careful hand on the delicate piping, when Shachi comes over with one of the most disgusting looking bugs you’ve seen in your life, throwing it on you.

The yell you let out when you felt it crawling on you, it was like you were being murdered, hand tightening around the pipe and accidentally crushing and ripping it in half.

Your hand immediately letting go of the pipe and swatting the bug off of your body, disgusted yelps leaving you until it finally falls off of you.

Looking up you see how Shachi stares at the wall in horror, you already know what he was looking at, however still turning around your face goes to horror when you realize how there is no longer a major chunk of the pipe.

Slowly turning to each other the both of you staring with terrified expressions, fast footsteps making you both panic and whisper yelling at each other. “What the fuck, Shachi!”

“Dude, how was I supposed to know you were gonna react like that?!” He hisses back.

Grabbing the broken pipe you quickly hide it behind your back, scooching back so the broken pipe lining the way was also hidden, Shachi also standing next to you to hide it.

Finally you see Law appear from the corner, a concerned look on his face. “Are you okay? I heard screaming.” He directs at both of you, worry in his tired eyes.

“Nope. We’re alright here, captain!” You respond quickly, your best poker face on.

And you watch nervously at how Law’s eyes narrow at you, then Shachi, but he seems to relax and accept the answer, nodding before turning around and leaving.

When he’s away from sight both you and Shachi begin to panic harder, beginning to push Shachi down a hallway. “Go find that bug before it finds him!”

Nodding he quickly runs off down the hallway the bug scittered off across, you going in the opposite direction to the room that houses extra pipes.

Quickly you place the broken pipe down in its section before fetching a new one, rushing back out the room and back down the hallway that had the broken pipe.

Out of breath you try to get air in your lungs harshly, getting to work once your lungs didn’t feel like they were on fire. Detaching the other broken pieces, replacing it with the new pipe, finally calming down when it was fixed.

It doesn’t last long though, Shachi coming back down the hallway to you also out of breath. “Help me… find a box.” He says through gasps, his hands clasped in front of him.

Getting up, you collect your tool box and go with Shachi, scouring the supply closets for an empty cardboard box, eventually finding one and stuffing the bug in there, sealing the box shut with tape.

Both of you leave the room silently going your separate ways. You were sure this would be funny when it's brought up again another day, for now however, you’re just glad you were quick enough to escape Law’s punishments.

All you had to do now was report back to him and this nightmare would be done.

Treading down the hallway you make your way to the captain’s quarters, knuckles rasping against the metal as you knock, entering a second later.

Before you could even open your mouth to speak, Law was quicker, immediately questioning you with dreaded words. “Did you fix the pipe?”

Your jaw drops, a worried look coming on your face as you realize that Law knew the whole time. “You knew?!”

“It wasn’t hard to figure out,” he smirks, placing the papers that he was skimming over down to look at you in turn.

“How did you-”

“I saw Shachi-ya chasing a bug down the hallway, and I heard the pipe hissing.” He quickly responds, cutting off your question.

He watches how your lips tighten downturning in a frown, sighing his own expression matches your, standing up from his chair and walking over to you. “Y/N-ya, it wasn’t your fault.”

“But-“

Once more he cuts you off, his words soft towards you even if his facial expression didn’t change much from his usual stoic one, “It’s alright. It was a mistake and you already fixed it, that’s all that matters.”

You open your mouth again to argue about it but Law’s quicker, inked hands wrapping around you and your head and shoving you in a hug, forcing you to shut up.

Relaxing in his affection, the scent of him calming you down from your mistake, just taking it that he wouldn’t let you win this argument.

“Want to help me come up with a punishment for Shachi?”

Roronoa Zoro

You didn’t train much, if at all, mostly it was because you couldn’t, there wasn’t any training equipment that could sustain being under your pressure.

But you did like to watch Zoro workout, in a way living vicariously through him. Sometimes he’d even ask you to help him, which you always enjoy.

Sometimes you were his spotter, sometimes you’d both have a friendly clash, and other times he’d use you like an extra weight.

“Push harder,” he ordered, glaring down at the wooden floors of the Merry.

With an amused sigh you apply a little more pressure to his back, hands pushing his sweaty back down, “Is this good?”

Fixing his posture Zoro allows his body to go down, then with a slight strain he pushes back up with a grunt. “Perfect.” He replies curtly.

So that’s how you stay, using some of your strength to push him down while he does push ups, both of you using your strength to fight against each other.

You enjoyed helping Zoro so much because this was usually as soft as the two of you got with each other, in a way this was how Zoro showed his affection to you.

Even if he didn’t admit it himself you understood that he enjoyed having you around, watching him, training with him. You can see it in the way his brown eyes soften when he sees you climb to the upper deck, stretching the sleep off of your limbs from a midday nap, or even in the way his eyes flicker to you every so often to make sure you’re still watching.

It never disappoints how the tips of his ears dust red when you compliment him from behind, of how he tenses when you whistle at his physique.

Going down again you watch how Zoro’s arms flex, a smile growing on your face as you admire his muscles, a clear sign of the dedication that Zoro put into trying to gain the title of The Strongest Swordsman.

It was days like this that you felt truly relaxed, a sense of ease settling so comfortably in your bones in a way that could never otherwise be accomplished.

You would never trade these days for the world, because this was it, it was your heaven and your earth, the only things truly keeping you tethered down.

And you sure it was the same for Zoro, you were sure that he as well would never give such tranquility up.

“You’re staring.” Zoro points out factually, a slight curiosity to his voice.

You let out a nervous chuckle, cheeks slightly tinting pink at how he caught you so easily without even having to look at you.

“It’s hard not too, you look good training.” Zoro’s body goes rigid at your comment, ears blowing up in a crimson as he simply huffs.

Again he goes down and this time you’re much more aware of everything happening, the soft clinking of his earrings as they glitter under the sun.

The waves rocking the Merry gently as if trying to put it to sleep, huffs escaping as Zoro strains to push back up, the distant chatter of the other crew members on the deck.

You adored this ship, this crew, and especially Zoro. They gave you a place when you had none, he rooted for you when no one else would. They were the family you got, even if you didn’t feel like you deserved it.

So long as you could help it you would make sure that days would stay like this, sunny and bright with a good future ahead.

You would see this crew reach its goals, you promised that, you would reach your own goal. More importantly you’d be beside Zoro’s side when he finally got crowned with the title he yearns for, you’ll be there cheering him on.

That, you’ll make sure of.

Portgas D. Ace

When Ace first saw you he swore up and down that you were the most beautiful man he had met, and when he saw your strength first hand he immediately fell in love he was sure.

That’s why he couldn’t help himself, gushing about you to Marco, or admiring you when you were fighting.

There was something about you that just drew him in like a moth to a flame, but god was he not mad, he would keep this going on forever if he could.

It’s why even now when you were having a friendly brawl with Vista, he was practically jittering with excitement, desperate to see you and your amazing strength again.

Rolling back and forth between the ball and heel on his feet, black eyes glittering like a child’s.

He watches as you fight against Vista, catching the sides of his blades in your hands, or concentrating so hard to try and not hurt Vista too much when you land a punch on him.

Ace practically sighs as if he was watching a dream, all because you were so cool, even with such things as Haki you were incredibly strong.

“You know you should tell him, right?” Marco asks, also watching beside Ace as the fight goes down.

Jolting in shock Ace looked beside him, he wasn’t expecting the man to watch so he was scared by his sudden presence beside him, an unamused look on his face because of it.

“But what if he doesn’t say yes?” He pouts, looking back at you, his cheeks flushing red at the thought of him confessing to you.

Marco shrugs his shoulders, a calm look still about him as his attention is captivated by Vista and you, “Won’t know until you try.”

Ace pouts, trying to think of the different ways he could, maybe he could try impressing you enough to-

“Please do not try any of that impressing him stuff,” Marco says with a sigh, practically reading Ace’s mind.

Snapping his head towards Marco he huffs, an annoyed tone to his voice as he bickers, “What’s wrong with that?”

“It literally never works,” the first division commander responds back, “Just ask him out on a date, normally.”

Ace groans but nods his head, looking back at the fight only to realize it finished, both Vista and you laughing together.

Alright… okay, all he had to do was ask you on a date, easy! Except it’s not, at all, because you make Ace so nervous that half the time he just wants to die of embarrassment.

When you began to walk off to the showers Ace stopped you, a nervous smile on his face and he completely forgot what he was supposed to be saying. It felt like his heart was in his throat, ready to burst out at any moment now that he was so close to you, and all he could manage to sputter out was, “You’re so cool,” before promptly running away.

Bumping into Izou who just laughs at him lightheartedly, “That was so pathetic.”

“I know! Don’t remind me,” he grumbles out, rubbing at his burning face with his hands, squatting down to sit on his haunches.

“You have to calm down when talking to him, you’re freaking out too much,” Izou points out, trying to at least help Ace a little.

Ace sighs, opening his fingers enough so he could look through them, “Yeah, but it’s hard when they’re so… them!”

Izou begins to laugh again, stifling out a, “You’re hopeless,” before shaking his head.

“Well you better ask him soon before someone else does,” he says, pointing at some of the other people on the Moby Dick also admiring you to Ace.

Ace stands up quickly at the mention of the other competition, suddenly a serious look about him, there was no way he was letting someone else get to you first!

Rushing back over to where he left you he relaxes in relief that you’re still there, a confused look on your face as you watch Ace come back to you after running away two minutes ago.

“Go on a date with me?” He immediately blurts when he’s in front of you, his face such a deep shade of red it rivals the red beads he wears around his neck.

Laughing your face changes from one of puzzlement to amusement, your cheeks dusting a light pink, “Sure, commander.”

Ace feels how his heart burst up in flames and honestly he wouldn’t have been surprised if he was on fire too, but it didn’t really matter to him, not when the most loveliest person he’s ever seen in his life just accepted going on a date.

“Awesome,” he breathlessly whispers, a goofy smile on his face.

—

This reminded me that I always forget how to spell Zoro’s last name.

Hope you enjoyed, Pea’s out!

[twost3ps]

Hii so I have a question to mike; is he like really well built or is he a twink? Or maybe both? And is he like..adams main man? oh and btw I love army leader Mike, I NEED MORE🫶🫶 you draw so well I hope you have a great day and week and month and year and life👍👍

Aww thank you!! No Mike is not a twink lololol he’s pretty decently built. Pre fall of Lucifer him is significantly skinnier or twinkish I guess but he’d fit in more as a twunk than anything

I did a little sketch comparison for show between the triplets. I hope it’s a bit clear lol

Lucy is a twink, Gabriel is bulky and Michael falls into the middle of it

He can shift his form just like Lucifer. The triplets all have the ability to do so for my headcanon but they are experts in certain fields of it. Lucifer can turn into animals and creatures, Gabriel can take on less physical forms like the air, shadows, water and ground, and Michael can turn into objects like weaponry. But they’re really good at manipulating their own bodies so Michael could turn really skinny or buff if he wanted to. For battle his form takes on more of a herculean look to it. It’s supposed to be intimidating and he gains a beard, height and longer hair lol kinda think a mix of spartan warrior and Viking. It’s not his true form but it does get angels bones rattling. He also has a secret 3rd elusive form which is just a sword.

However most of the time Michael likes to stay small and behind the scenes. Gabriel takes the rails when it comes to being the leader and main face but Michael does his own thinb in the background. His clothes are slightly bigger than him and make him look small. They’re also in shades of blue, white, and gold and while that may seem flashy, they blend with with heavens overall color pallet. When the archangels appear for big ceremonies and stuff he’s usually in the back of everyone

But tldr in some cases he looks skinnier because of the clothes he wears and it’s on purpose

As for being Adam main man, I mean… Adam doesn’t tell his favorites but um, there are signs

[loveandleases]

Our softie has been a bit neglected lately, so what better time than to post the M X MC karaoke snippet.

“Are you sure you want to do this? It’s okay to back out ya know.” You give M one last glance, your hand resting on the handle of the door into the karaoke booth.

It was a dumb dare, one you didn’t think they would have agreed to. The shots you two did earlier no doubt contributed to their newfound bravery. They groan into their palms, likely regretting all the choices that got the two of you here. You’re about to grab them, walk them back to the apartment but they allow their palms to fall, a newfound determination on their face. “I-I said I would do it. And damn it, I’m going to do it. How can I expect my characters to sing their hearts out to one another if I can’t even go in with my…friend.”

“Promise I won’t take any embarrassing photos of you for blackmail.” You mean it as a joke, but the way M’s shoulders tighten means you missed the spot. It takes five minutes to finally get into the room, M only trying to bolt out the door three times. Which is an improvement to when you went to watch a horror movie together at the theater.

It takes four tequila shots for them to loosen up enough to pick a song, two more shots to muster the courage to begin singing. If you can call it that.

You had to admit you were surprised by how much they were able to drink and still function.  M is lost in conversation with themselves as the song begins to play. Kiss me, out of the bearded barley Nightly, beside the green, green grass. They fumble the first line, their nerves all but apparent on their frame. “Shit-shiiiit.” You muffle a laugh, at least they sing their swears. It’s somewhat endearing as they slowly loosen up, not hiding behind their usual shyness. Their eyes locking onto yours as if the words coming out of their mouth are more than just lyrics. Halfway through the song all the tension that had them wound up is gone, they’re half dancing half jumping from spot to spot. Their cheeks flush from one too many drinks. “Kiss me, beneath the milky twilight.” M turns to you, their hand reaching out for your own. “Are you serenading me right now?” They falter, missing the beat of the next verse, shaking their head as they pull you to join them. It’s a mess of bodies, M spins you, nearly causing you to run into the table. The song long forgotten as your laughter fills the booth. So kiss me. M smiles at you, a goofy grin. The dark circles under their eyes don’t dampen the brightness of their smile. “That was-“ “Fun?” “Fucking awful, I can’t believe you let me sing in public.” They laugh, tossing the microphone onto one of the seats. “Aww, c’mon you did great.”

You both sit, closer than you ever have. Their arm brushes against your own, their leg pressed against yours. Their usual sweet and soft demeanor now mixed with a newfound, alcohol-induced bravery.

Their eyes, normally hesitant and averted, are now fixed on yours with an intensity that is both endearing and startling. “MC,” their voice is uncharacteristically bold, but you don’t miss the slight tremor betraying their nervousness. “I.. I need to tell you something.” They take a deep breath, their heart racing. “I..fuck..okay..damn. alright, I’m going to say it alright.” You know when they get like this it’s not necessarily you they’re talking to, more themselves. “I wanted to…Iwanttokissyou.” The words are said so quickly it takes you a second to register what they said. The words hang in the air, heavy with emotion. Their face a picture of flustered courage, their lips slightly parted and eyes wide with fear and hope. They still give off this softness, but now, now it’s laced with something else. You’re not sure who moves first, normally you would say it was you, but the way that they grab your arms and tug at you might say otherwise. M’s breath hitches, their eyes fluttering shut mumbling one last swear. The world outside the booth fades away, only sound you hear is their breath, and your heartbeat. It’s a gentle kiss at first, a bit hesitant. An exploration of unspoken feelings. M’s lips are soft and warm, a faint taste of alcohol. They groan, and the kiss deepens. Your hands finding theirs, fingers intertwining. You’re not sure how long you kiss, how long M’s tongue tangles with your own. When they pull away, they look at you briefly before squeezing their eyes shut. Their foreheads resting against your own, their cheeks so warm you can feel the heat emanating from them. A genuine smile on their lips, causing your heart to skip a beat. “Will you remember this tomorrow?” You can’t help but ask, knowing they must be drunk. “Ah, I didn’t think about that!” M jerks back, their expression changes so quick, now a look of fear on their face. “We-we should do- I can do you- Fuck no, I mean yes, oh ooh. Oh nooo. I said that out loud. Out fucking loud. Kill meeeee." There they are, the flustered mess you've grown used to. Your hands cup their cheeks, pulling them to look at you, before you lean in. "Kiss me."

[ccscocoapuffs]

Negan NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) Negan loves to pull you into his chest after sex, he loves to just softly play in your hair while he whispers in your ear how good you did for him. His go to line is "Baby....you took it so well...such a good fucking girl"

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) Negan likes his eyes the most, despite being a hard ass 24/7 deep down his a big softie and the reason he loves his eyes is because they let him see you everyday, though he would never in a million years tell you that. Negan loves your thighs the most whether he gets to watch you sway your hips and those fine ass thighs prancing off with you or if he simply has his face buried between them, wither way negan loves them.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) Negan adores a good cream pie, he loves watching drip out of you while he teases you about it. " aww poor baby, cant handle all daddy's cum?". He also loves cumming all over your face and taking polaroid's of it to keep in his jacket pocket.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) Negan wants softer sex, he's just believe it or not a little shy about it. He want's to keep the tough guy act up at all times but sometimes he just wants to lay you down and thrust into you deeply and slowly while he kisses down your neck and tells you he loves you.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) Negan is very well experienced to say the least. Anything you wanna try 99.9% chance he has already tried it and will show you the ropes.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) Negan ADORES doggy style, it gives him access to reach around and rub your clit, pull your hair, and even smack your ass if he wanted to. Though his close second would be missionary but with your knees up to your chest, he loves seeing how much you whine when he goes so much deeper that way.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) Negan tends to be very serious but he sometimes can make you giggle or atleast crack a smile. He will kiss on the inside of your thighs noticing how you jump when his beard tickles you which makes him only begin to do it more just to hear that little laugh he adores.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) Negan is trimmed down to the stubble mark. He likes to keep it trimmed so the only thing you ever choke on is his cock and his cock alone.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) Negan can be very intimate if he has the time. The truth is he is a very busy man and usually only has time for long sensual sex after everyone else has done slept and he gets a break for the day. Though if he gets the day off expect to have the most sensual hot sex of your life.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) To be completely honest, Negan has zero need to masturbate, he loves you and he loves that pussy, so why use his hand? He has masturbated on one or two occasions though when he was away from you but he didn't find it all that pleasing.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Negan is one inky fuck to say the least. Breeding, BDSM, daddy, choking, spit, sadism, you name it Negan is probably down. He has very few things he would ever not consider.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) Negan likes a little bit of a thrill and enjoys public sex quit often. He loves to sit you on a bench somewhere in the sanctuary at night while he eats you out, another favorite of his is simply his bedroom. It's positioned perfectly to where if you scream hi name everyone is gonna hear it and he will never let you live it down.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) Negan loves high heels for starters, something about them just turn him on so much. He loves to fuck you in nothing but your lingerie and high heels. Another turn on is when you get jealous over him, say another girl rubs his chest and suddenly you wrap your arm around Negan's waist while telling the other girl "He's already claimed" Negan will be ready to bend you over right then and there.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) Share you with another man, Negan is a simple guy when it comes to a No. He will not ever share you with another man, you are his and his alone. However if you want him to fuck you feral, flirt with one of the other saviors, especially Dwight or Simon. The thought of one of them getting to touch you pisses him the fuck off and he will fuck to make sure you remember who you belong too.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) Negan loves to give, though he uses it as a reward for good behavior. If you've been a good girl for him, he will set up on his desk and eat you out or lay you down on the edge of the bed before pulling your legs apart and eating like a starved man. In terms of receiving he would never say no to you, but he will always make you choke around him. It gives him such an ego boost to hear you choke on his cock.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) Negan is always fast and rough, though if he trusts you enough to let you see the softer side of him then you will see that more slow and sensual side of him, one thing is for sure though he ALWAYS has to be in charge regardless of the pace.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) Negan loves a good quickie especially one where you could get caught, his favorite place for one is inside one of the hallways on the sanctuary, where anyone can walk down and see you too right there with him buried deep inside you.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) As stated above, negan likes it risky, he is always down for risk and the idea of it. He loves to add thrill to your endeavors it makes things a little more scandalous to him.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) Let's ne honest here as much as I'd like to sit here and say he can go all night long, at the end of the day he is getting a little bit older. His average with you is still 2 rounds though. He always makes sure you cum till your legs are shaking despite how much he himself may cum. He is a kinky fuck but he is for sure a giving lover in the bedroom.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) Negan loves toys, He doesn't have any for himself other than a simple cock ring. He enjoys using them on his partner more, he has a very large collection of toys he keeps hidden in his room. His favorites though are the remote control vibrator, the clit sucker, and of course his collection of belts just for making that ass red.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) Two words. It's negan. World's biggest tease, he finds it arousing to get you going, he wants to make you a begging whining, soaking wet mess before he gives you want you want. He has to make sure you are dying to have it before he will give it.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) Believe it or not Negan can be a little loud, mostly with his dirty talk and when he cums. When Negan finishes he lets out deep loud groans as he throws his head back, not giving a fuck who hears because no one would dare say anything to him anyway out of fear.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) Negan adores the idea of you in a super girly lingerie set or super girly clothes while you do your daily duties within the sanctuary. Wear a little baby pink skirt for him while you bend over to pick up something, or adjust your boobs in a very very tight top and he may just die right there.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) Negan is blessed to say the least. He is about 7 inches in length but he is girthy as fuck. He gives an amazing fucking stretch and he takes pride in that. He also has a slightly upwards curve towards the tip that makes it perfect for hitting your g-spot.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) Negan has a very high sex drive and he isn't ashamed to admit to it either. He just loves the idea of both gaining pleasure and giving it. He also loves the dominance it gives outside of the sexual aspect of the relationship, for example if he calls for you and you answer him with a " yes daddy?" or "Yes sir" it only strokes his ego even more and makes him feel like a fucking god.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) He would never admit to it but kinda quickly afterwards. He likes to clean you up first before pulling you into his chest for some cuddles and praise while he slowly starts to drift off.

[purpleshimmer]

ACT II THOUGHTS - MAJOR SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

Episode 4

JINX AND ISHA ARE SOOO CUTEEEEE

Girl go to your rally…..

Singed what are you doing here

I love all the Jinx outfits + hair everyone is doing

ISHA AND SINGED AWW

The Warwick sequence is so so cool wow

YOU CAN SEE HER BLUE HAIR THAT HELMET IS HARDLY DOING ANYTHING THIS IS STRESSING ME OUT

Star Wars ass prison break in

Oooo the Jinx and Warwick fight scene is dope

“POWDER” I’M GOING TO CRY

Episode 5

Jinx and Vi teamup YAYYYY

Caitlyn looks so fine in that cape 

I’m crying this Caitlyn and Singed interrogation is literally the soyjack vs chad meme

MEL NOOOOO

KINO?????????

Aww :(

Vi looks so good hello

Noooo Singed don’t do it

He’s planning something; there's no way he’s actually teaming up with her. Right.

SINGED’S DAUGHTER? YOUNG SILCO? THERE’S SO MUCH HAPPENING 

What.What are they implying here. Guys if they’re actually going to prove the “Mel is pregnant” theory right I’m going to sell all my Arcane merch and rate the season 0 stars

Where was Singed getting the funding to do all this 

Caitlyn is actually making me mad this season man

You’re telling me Kino was in this prison with literally nothing to do for like 20-30 years and never realized there was a puzzle on the wall, but Mel went in there and found out in like 5 minutes😭

Of course it wasn’t her brother I’m stupid actually.

“Sister??” What is going on I do not like this Black Rose plotline I’m sorry there’s too much going on

VANDER AND SILCO FLASHBACK YAY

HELP SILCO’S REACTION

Old Silco was fine as hell but so is younger Silco like woah

And now I’m crying again!

JAYCE WITH BEARD JAYCE WITH BEARD JAYCE

Huh. How is Viktor speaking through Salo what

Once again….this is too muchhhh I need to make a separate post about this bc it’s really bothering me 

JAYCE WHAT THE HELL😭

Episode 6

Dude what is thisss stop

I don’t like this.

He never gave a fuck about Sky before why is she suddenly such a big part of his motivations and talking to him now. I know he feels bad about accidentally killing her but why are they besties now what

I don’t like this space thing at all it’s too weird I’m sorry

Mfw the show called “Arcane” has magic in it I guess: 😠

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Isha please don’t take the gemstone lol. Isha. I’m begging you please put that down.

Guys I’m worried!

Am I just a hater or is anyone else getting pissed off at the wacky hextech speaking-to-people-in-their-minds thing

AND I'M SORRY I DON’T HATE SKY BUT WHY IS SHE HERE. AM I MISSING SOMETHING

JINX AND VIKTOR TEAMUP REAL???? RARE CORRECT FAN PREDICTION HOORAY!

Actually stop with the space hextech thing it’s making me MAD 

I’m sorry I don’t mean to complain so much I love this show but I actually cannot stand this please forgive me

IT JUST FEELS SO CORNY

Ooo I like this watercolor animation

Singed whyyyy 

OKAYYYY CAITLYN 

Jayce are you good buddy….?

JAYCE NO!

Am I stupid why did he kill him….is it just because he thought he went to far with Hextech and the crazy hallucinations he was having? That can’t be it? Did he not mean to kill him? I am so lost rn 

VANDER :(

The music that played in s1e3 when he fought Silco in the cannery :(

I KNEW ISHA WAS GOING TO DIE BUT THAT WAS SO SAD 

[t0ast-ghost]

Umm STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE THOUGHTS!!!!

You thought this series was dead and buried? Well maybe it is. This may stay in my drafts forever. But I suppose if you’re reading this it’s not.

Warnings for a flashing gif

and spoilers (obviously)

So enjoy and forward we go:

- They kinda just make you watch stars with nice background music for *checks time* two minutes and fifty seconds (no, there are no credits during this time)

- I’m so hyped for this, the credit music is so nostalgic and amazing

- Tron ass graphics <3

- Evolved Klingon design! Let’s go! Also they’re speaking Klingon which I think star trek is super proud of creating

- It’s so alien (as in the movie alien)

- Is that the lizard head rock from the Apple? No it’s Vulcan- damn what’d they do to Spock?

- It’s giving the dark crystal or labyrinth

- THEYVE GOT A VULCAN LANGUAGE?! I mean I knew they would but they created one for the first movie???

- When the Vulcan Master (it’s what imdb calls her) is reading Spock’s mind then the shot goes back to her face and she looks down and there’s a fucking vine boom and she smiles slightly at him like ‘THIS FUCKER IS HAVING GAY THOUGHTS’

- Jim is calling him <3

- It’s interesting how they pronounce Spock’s name differently

- Life is a Dream is my favourite song (It’s the one with the horns)

- Omg hi Kirk hi

- They gave him another Vulcan? Kirk must miss his husband so much

- imagine ten years after your favourite show ends, they make a movie and there are all your favourite guys again! I would have screamed

- Hiya Scotty

- Kirk looks so unhappy. Hmmm wonder why

- Aww this is such a cute conversation between Kirk and Scotty

- KIRK GETS TEARS IN HIS EYES SEEING THE NEW ENTERPRISE OMG. HE LOVES HER SM

- This is the slowest fucking shuttle ever

- I like how there’s just guys floating in spacesuits around

- ….Welp that’s over now. The ship has docked. Finally.

- oh the elevators are just voice controlled now. No handles.

- OMG HI UHURA!!! HI CHECKOV! HI SULU!!!

- Kirk’s about to go fire someone. This’ll be fun.

- Yeah Decker does not take this well. Kirk is just a petty bitch who loves his ship too much and definitely misses his husbands

- WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? Wha- who- no wonder people don’t like using transporters that’s horrifying

- OMG THATS JANICE RAND!!!

- Kirk has turned into the idiot admiral that he used to hate dealing with

- OMG HIIIII BONES HES GOT A BEARD. They drafted him???? Wait no. JIM BROUGHT HIM BACK hehe

- “Damn it, Bones. I need you. Badly!” He missed his husband so he made him come back to fight a war

- That was such a normal moment between Kirk and McCoy. Sooo normal. I’m normal about it. Sooo normal.

- THAT LITTLE DUDE IN SPACE JUST DID A FLIP

- hi bones hi

- “Jim. You’re pushing.”

- They gave McCoy a better perch, he’s got a railing that’s closer to Kirk now

- time to ask: what is happening

- “Tor-pe-do away!” The slow voice really added to that

- Why is McCoy just there on his knees?!?

- Bones is NOT happy to be here. This is why he divorced Kirk (he’s still married to Spock though)

- McCoy can see that Jim is being unreasonable. But what is that stance and why aren’t they looking into each others eyes? (Edit: not sure what stance I’m talking about but yeah, why aren’t they?)

- It’s been 50 minutes literally nothing has happened except reintroductions

- HI SPOCK HIII HES SO HOT WHATS HE DOING HERE?

- damn why’d Spock just ignore Chekov like that

- Jim is so desperate. He wants this man so bad. He’s like literally starry eyed

- For Chekov this is like the worst high school reunion ever

- HI CHAPEL HAIII

- damn why is Spock ignoring his husbands :(((

- Bones looks so sad. He missed Spock

- Kirk and McCoy are about to interrogate their long gone ex husband. “Will you please sit down.” This is pretty much exactly what it would be like if they got divorced and didn’t see each other for awhile. Spock is trying to separate his emotions from the situation, McCoy is trying to be playful but sneaks in a question about what he’s been doing, and Kirk just wants them back he’s so desperate

- Not gonna say what I’m thinking cause I think that would be disrespectful

- “I believe they may hold my answers.” “Well, isn’t it lucky for you that we just happened to be heading your way?” “Bones! We need him. I need him.” Jim if you say that while staring into Spock’s eyes it’s a bit queer (happy pride month)

- They got the new Apple watches

- Spock is pulling a Deanna Troi

- They brought back Spock to wear the finest eyeshadow and serve silent cunt

- Shapes and colours by the likes of which I’ve never seen!

- I like how Bones just came onto the bridge FOR NO REASON but to kinda look shocked when Kirk was about to do something silly

- Most of this movie feels like, ‘look at this cool set/effects thing for a very long time’ and they are cool

- I now truly understand what a ‘long shot’ is

- Uh oh Kirk. Your husband got zapped!

- huh? whuh? Why’d it take Ilia?

- Everyone that comes onto the bridge takes a second to go what the f-

- Wow that’s just a pussy- *gets schmacked*

- Did Spock just fucking blue screen?

- just noticed Kirk in short sleeves <3

- ILIA BURST THROUGH THE WALL

- Why did they replicate her into high heels

- I love Star Treks idea that love can bring anyone back. Like if anyone is dead and someone loves them enough there’s no way they’re staying dead. And if you bring up Tasha, technically she didn’t die right there and then. And if you bring up Jadzia, fuck you

- What is Spock doing, why’s he mutineering

- They successfully contacted Ilia. There’s something so sad about it being her but not her at all

- Omg. Spock why would you do that?

- “That’s Spock. Damn him! Bring him back here.” Gotta wrangle your husbands

- I was going to say something about pussy and then Spock said “penetrated” so-

- Pussy so good you get blasted backwards- I’ve got to stop

- Spock laughing omg omg

- jaw dropped. That was gay. That was so gay!

- I like how Kirk just has these two guys around to explain things to him

- “It knows only that it needs, commander, but like so many of us, it does not know what.” Do you need something, Spock? What are you trying to say? Do you need the love of your husbands?

- HES JUST GONNA BLOW UP THE SHIP???

- I got legitimately jumpscared by Spock’s tear

He’s really pretty tho and they’re observing him

- “Is this all that I am? Is there nothing more?” This is the greatest moment in the whole movie thus far because it goes back to really what star trek is about. Talking about life through aliens.

- He’s bringing his husbands with him awwe

- woah how are they on top of the enterprise?!Okay I guess this is happening now

- VOYAGER??????????? Oh wait this is a real ship, isn’t it?

- So Decker is going to sacrifice himself to join with V’Ger, isn’t he?

- He rolls back to his husbands

- “As much as you wanted the Enterprise, I want this.” Jim did really want the enterprise, but he also just wanted love, same with Decker, they both just want their loves back.

- Shiny

- Kirk and McCoy staring, jaws dropped like, ‘What is this shit?’

- “And a lot of foolish human emotions, right, Mr. Spock?” “Quite true, Doctor. Unfortunately we will have to deal with them as well.” THEY’RE FLIRTING AGAIN YES!!!!

- It’s a little funny that Spock definitely arrived on the ship ready to stay. Like he cut his hair and everything just to see his husbands.

- “The human adventure is just beginning” what does THAT mean?

Well okay. Time to watch Wrath of Khan, I guess. I hear it’s better…

Masterpost

[dootznbootz]

https://www.tumblr.com/matchanne/749059748512612352/aww-they-broke-up-thats-sad?source=share

^the hades 2 dialogue if you want to analyze it for yourslef?

So analyzing this. I do not like how it makes it seem like "he has a hard time saying no to women" which um, Nausica?

One thing I find fascinating is that it's almost like a fucking Hamilton situation with the whole "I still love my wife, I just can't control myself" which yeah bullshit but I know a lot about cheating okay? I've seen it close up for way too much of my life and I know there are people who genuinely feel like this. it's wild as someone who's asexual lol

It also is wild to me that Penelope would hear of her husband's sexual trauma and immediately think betrayal or that he doesn't love her. I've seen a couple people do that and I think it's wildly outta character for Penelope. I think she would have to be the one to constantly be like "Odysseus, you said you were scared... That's not being willing". I think there's a lot of shit going on that shows he has PTSD around sex in general (he was hella excited to be with her again after they reunite lol)

I could see this dialogue as him trying to possibly cover up trauma?? but I doubt that's what Hades 2 is going for. that would make Penelope look bad (that's a crime in and of itself)

Honestly this is just messy. idk I'm mad.

Here's some wips of mine with his trauma shit. It is in no way smut but there are a few innuendos before a fade to black as I plan for Odysseus to often try to cover "bad memories" with good ones. (aka: "Every time I start to panic or the PTSD hits me, I'll just replace all the bad sex memories with good ones." and just clinging to Penelope. This obviously scares her as "holy shit, you were just crying and now you're kissing me.") It's kind of Not Safe for Wormlings but not so much. (I've edited it quite a bit)

“Is that all?” He murmured into her neck. His hands traced across the scales of her collarbone. Gods, he missed this. 

“Only minor things…” She scratched her nails into his hair. She smiled as he hummed. He was still the man she adored despite it all. “You’ll have to ask Telemachus what he knows as I only got a brief summary of what he told me.”

A brief summary that included the nymph, he thought bitterly, thinking about how Penelope brought up Calypso to the beggar. Telling him what their son had told her to try and get him to reveal himself, he most likely would’ve if it weren’t for Athena taking pity on him. Helping him hold his tears and panic until he was outside. He should’ve known Penelope would’ve done this though; His wicked woman knew how to break a person. He kissed her throat and felt it buzz under his lips as she giggled as his beard tickled her.

She brushed her fingers against the course, gray auburn hair on his chin. “Who would’ve known that the beard you always wanted would only come to you after two decades away from me.” 

He groaned. “Pluck it.” 

She giggled again. Music. 

(they stayed in silence. Idk this is the roughest draft)

“I’m so happy they’re well…That there’s no resentment.”

Penelope couldn’t help but scoff, pulling her head back to place some kisses on his forehead. He smiled despite his burning throat. “Of course, there’s no resentment. Menelaus adores her as she does him. He knows she would never willfully stay with those men. The gods were involved in every bit of that wretched war.” 

She paused, stopping her hand movements. “Why? Are you surprised? Is there something I should know about?” 

“No, no, I-” He swallowed. Words escaped him. “I’m just…Happy. Like I said.”

She chuckled. “Odysseus, it’s not like he did anything too incredible for loving her. He did bare minimum, understanding when gods are involved, you have no choice.” 

Odysseus’ breath hitched. Penelope stilled, concerned. “Odysseus-”

I’ve ruined this nest we made. “Nothing.” He squeezed her tighter. 

She thought for a moment. “Odysseus, I know the gods and fate are the only reason you were away from me. That you tried to come home as fast as you could… I don’t blame you.” 

He nodded. He tried to steady his breathing. 

He pushed himself off her, kneeling with his legs in between her own and pulling her to him. He began kissing down the column of her neck. Nuzzling where a grouping of scales was before continuing his path, hands never leaving her body. 

“Odysseus, I-” She jumped as his teeth gently scraped at her rib. “You know it’s supposed to be your turn to tell your stories.”

HEre's one that's supposed to be a later date. Idk. unfinished but you know.wwwwwww...

Point is, I think it's extremely out of character for Penelope to think he didn't "try hard enough" or whatever. She loves him. She knows him. They share a mind for fuck's sake. In mine, she technically is less mortal than he is as she's 75% Naiad in my works.

[odetodilfs]

Marcus makes you pancakes in the morning and gets distracted 💅

Breakfast in bed

I loved doing this request, I definitely need to write more Marcus ngl...

Pairing: Marcus Moreno x male!reader Warnings: Established relationship (marriage), completely SFW!!

You awoke to an empty bed, the sun was already shining through the window to the bottom of your bed, had you slept in? “Marcus?” you call out in a hoarse voice, definitely not enough to hear you from a distance, you grabbed the glass on the nightstand, the one Marcus always prepared for you every night, you drink it as the soothing feeling of the water wetting your throat washes over you, you call out again, but before you can do so the half closed bedroom door opens.

In came Marcus, holding a tray, smiling at you in that sweet way he always did, “Good morning love, what is this?” you asked, “Pancakes” he replied “for my beautiful husband” he walked closer to you, placing the tray next to you, “Oh my god sweetheart, thank you” you hugged him tightly, you loved this man so much,

“Sleep well?” he asked you, you loved how interested he was,

“Yeah, you?” “Same here, I just woke up super early so I made this” he smiled, with his kind , genuine and sweet smile, “Marcus…” you roped him in for a hug and kissed his beard lovingly, him obviously basking in the feeling.

“You should eat, they’re gonna get cold” he was blushing, you brought a pancake to your mouth with syrup and whipped cream and tasted it, delicious like always. 

“Mmmmm!!” you smiled as you savored the incredibly amazing tasting food, “Shit, Marcus, you outdo yourself with these pancakes every damn time!!” you kissed him fully on the lips, his tongue licking at some of the whipped cream that was on your lips, you both started eating your pancakes, planning your day, how it would go, what you’d do, “Can we play 1 reason each?” he suggested, it was a game you’d created on a stormy night, it was basically each you had to say something they loved about the other and the other would have to say to you what they love about you, and it had to be related to what you said, “Yes, yes we can” you laughed, “you start” “Hmmmm” he thought, “I love the way you never take off our ring, the way it’s almost like… like a part of your body” he smiled, holding your hand, “Aww, Marcus…” you heart melted as you simultaneously thought of something to match with what he said, you looked at your man, “I love that when you were about to give me the ring the box fell and you just said “Oh fuck sorry”, it was hilarious” you laughed, remembering the moment and taking another bite off the delicious pancakes. “I like the way you cook, something about it gives me thoughts about having seconds, but eh, I need to stay in shape” he jokes, “Well, I could say the same about someone else’s cooking” you signaled at the pancake and took another bite, “Ok fine, we both have a problem with cooking too well” he chuckled, he looked at you for a few seconds... “My sweet husband…” Marcus ran his hand down your torso, you knew how much he loved it when he called you his husband. That was how you spent your morning, saying things you loved about each other, kissing, cuddling, you will never get sick of this man.

[thechekhov]

Dungeon Meshi - Quick Reacts (CHAPTER 14: Kelpie)

You know, I understand why people are annoyed by her attitude towards Senshi’s food and Laios’ tastes, but you gotta admit she’s trying her best. 

this is another one of these things that don’t really come up in games but... thank fuck they have flowing water. That would be a real deal breaker if you want to survive. And they can shave and brush their teeth? It’s a miracle.

To be fair, I think Senshi’s beard is probably its own ecosystem by now. He probably uses it as a scrub brush. 

At least if she does that, you’ll be picking way less dwarf hair out of your food. Come on guys, we know that stuff gets in there when he cooks. 

someone get this woman to design a whole ass game. 

Water walk! Good wizard. 

is Senshi afraid of water?! Dwarves I swear.....

Aww, their first party fight! I’m shocked at how coordinated Laios and Chilchuck are. 

HE’S STILL SINKING, JUST SLOWLY.

HIS BEARD? It repels magic... 😂

Laios, you don’t look as sure as you sound. 

Oh. OH yEAH. There will be NO repercussions for THAT. 

Marcille’s little “Anne.” isn’t even a question. She’s just disappointed. 

Meanwhile, that Kelpie straight up wants the blood and guts soaked into his beard.

Didn’t that thing... walk.... out from UNDER the water though? 

That seems extreme as well, but I’m on this hill with Laios and his distrust of horses. 

I see someone speaks from experience. 

Yeah, I could have maybe seen that coming. 

Though I AM legitimately disappointed by this turn of events.

Horses are horrifying when they’re given dog mouths - confirmed. 

...actually hold on

Horses are horrifying when they’re given dog mouths - confirmed.

Marcille’s been on the protein I see. 

Laios, you are right but also your little pet monster will eat you one day. For no though, the fact that you almost drowned it is adorable. 

Don’t you though? I imagine if anyone understands how monsters think, it would be you, Laios. 

It’s true that he loved her. It’s also true that letting her rot without using her would be a waste. In a way, she will carry them further this way. 

oooh, is she making soap? 

There’s something about the idea of using things you have at your disposal that makes this really cool. The fact that everything they’re making, aside from very special ingredients like olive oil, are all scavenged and created with their own hand is... I don’t know... heartwarming? 

THEY’RE!!!! BONDING!!!!

Weirdly heartwarming.

Maybe just let it air dry--

whEEZE---- I CAN’T--

There he goes............the magnificent beast............

GROUP HUG! aww

.......................... coding, man. No matter what century, that one typo will get ya.

The real BBEG was the lack of unions all along...............

YOU ASKED FIRST, YOU DINGUS. 😂

All that said, Laios doesn’t strike me as someone interested in romance. 

this is just a magical hermit crab.

NOOO HE JUST WANTED TO VIBE

You guys could probably make a fortune as dungeon delvers if you weren’t after Falin.

Who knows if souls exist? Haven’t you all died multiple times?

............Well, they do have skin and a squishy inside, and they grow..... checks out.

........you know what? I’ll take it. Wine? Necromancy. Cheese? Necromancy. Natto? DEFINITELY necromancy. 

Marcille doesn’t drink?

...........is this doodle-bob all over again? 

Senshi, who nearby died by Kelpie: WHY DON’T THEY WANT MY LIVER? IT’S GOOD FOR THEM!

.....................like respects like. These two are on the same frequency. 

If we’re being nitpicky about it, Anne never actually bit Senshi. She went after the Mimic. Maybe she just got tired because he was fucking heavy........ 

Horses, man. 

[sponsoredbytonystark]

Thoughts during 7x4

911 Spoilers Ahead 🚨

-I still don’t know how I feel about this Bachelor crossover

-Buck’s like umm no thanks

-Come visit me in prison haha

-I also don’t know how I feel about Tommy, but I get the feeling I’m going to find out before the end of the episode

-Buck please don’t start driving helicopters, that can only end one of one ways.

-Aww Jealous Buck is adorable Buck

-Also why doe Tommy call him Evan…negative sir.

-I was just sleeping….also that man jumps up like what is happening

-WHAT HAPPENED TO HARRY…

-what happened to the other actor?

-Bobby is super suspicious…don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious (that’s at least the second I’ve commented that this season)

-Who fits down the drain?

-RAVIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

-they all 3 look so conflicted about the man down the sewer

-“I’m going down the sewer aren’t I?”

-Buck and Eddie carrying those poles was like the meme of “when you and your work best friend can turn anything into a two person job.”

-Also makes me sad that they’re supposed to be working without Bobby as their captain

-Buck is going to punch someone

-Also, Eddie looks really good this season

-Oh no, not asking Buck to babysit.

-Also why is he asking his girlfriend to babysit his child

-This Buck/Maddie scene is so similar to “so does this man crush on Eddie mean you’re over Abby?”

-Not the calendar hahaah, “he’s got it circled”, “is it circled with a heart around it?”

-Chim, classic

-Harry being sneaky.

-Athena’s having a rough season

-Oh no, she shot her son.

-She dumping water on his head hahahah

-I can’t get past this new actor playing Harry, he grew up to fast

-Why he screaming

-I appreciate Buck’s pink shorts

-He’s trying to show off for his man, how adorable

-Eddie blushing like a school girl

-I wonder how much Amazon paid for that.

-Oh if Athena cries, I’m going to cry.

-Ohhh I feel so bad.

-Chim is now also suspicious.

-Buck and his ladder truck leg

-“I’m your basketball beard” hahaha

-Not Buck hurting him. And now he feels so bad.

-“Bucked that Up.”

-Awww sad Harry

-I miss May

-Aww poor buck, I’m gonna keep saying that.

-Big sister Maddie.

-I wouldn’t want to be grounded with Athena either

-Evan…

-Aww Chris.

-What is about to happen…

-Why are you so close together…

-Why are you flirting?

-I have so many questions.

-What is happening…

-This is an endless train of thought…

-THE WAY MY MOUTH JUST DROPPED

-what’s going to happen when Eddie finds out?

-“It was better than fake mouth static”

-This man is legit frozen in place

-BI BUCK

[byersfanclub]

call it controversial, I'm speaking my mind and if you don’t agree with me then so be it, atp idc what ppl may think about my opinion on this matter but as someone who views mike wheeler as a closeted gay person, meaning mlm, he is a boy who likes other boys and that’s it then I’m also someone who believes mike has never had actual romantic feelings for el at ANY point in the show. I don’t sit around and harass people who believe otherwise. 

mike is not even the FIRST person to show el kindness once she escaped the lab, it’s benny hammond. mike is the second person to truly show el some kindness and basic human decency by allowing her into his home and getting her clean, dry clothes. it’s something I hope anyone would do for anyone in that sort of situation BUT don’t forget it’s also mike’s idea to “send her back to pennhurst or wherever she came from” and comes up with the plan on the spot right then and there to have her go out the back door and knock on the front door and his mom will figure out what to do. they never had any plans on keeping el around until they found out she knew who will was, that he was alive and that she had fucking superpowers. I get kinda sick of ppl trying to twist this around. this is factual, it’s not some anti-m1leve3n thing ppl made up, it is canon. to say mike never wanted to get rid of el at first is just a straight up lie, his main priority was finding will, but he wasn’t going to be an asshole and leave a girl outside in the pouring rain.  

all mike cares about in s1 is finding will. I find it odd that some ppl don’t believe this, whether you think he could have grew a crush on el or not. he literally starts to disassociate, begs to help look for him, sneaks out of his home at night, bikes home and sobs into his moms arms when he thinks will is dead, is outright RUDE to el afterwards until she proves that will is still alive. 

both Lucas and Nancy say things that try to allude to mike liking el, which literally has nothing to fucking do with the plot of s1 AT ALL and they literally have no scenes that I can genuinely go back and look at and be like “aww that's so cute and romantic, I hope they’ll kiss and end up together” 

their kiss was never scripted and it wasn’t even meant to happen, it was something millie suggested and its funny that they chose to do it right after she asks if mike will be like her fucking BROTHER and he goes “no, well, I guess it’s sort of the same” like my brother in christ in what world is a date/boyfriend the same as a brother? he’s not stupid, even 12 year olds know the difference between a brother and a boyfriend. I genuinely think it’s because mike has never CARED about that sort of thing before, because he’s just a kid who wants to play games with his friends, uninterested in girls and dating in general. 

so, when I say that mike unintentionally uses el as his “beard” it’s not meant to be insulting towards el, because el is also using mike to try and be a normal girl. they are both just trying to be normal when both of them know they AREN’T. 

el is the first girl not immediately grossed out by mike, it’s because she doesn’t view him as anything other than a person, she’s not thinking about him romantically at all, she’s a 12 yr old girl that just escaped being in a scientific lab her whole life, romance isn’t going to be on the forefront of her mind, she probably doesn’t even know wtf romantic love even is. you think they’re showing Casablanca in the Hawkins national lab? I don’t think so. 

s2 shows mikes lack of interest in girls even more, and ppl using the reasoning that its because he “loves el” like idk how to tell you this, he knew her FOR ONE WEEK and she barely spoke the entire time and mike was focused on will all of s1. be so for real. really. his lack of interest in girls comes in the form of things more subtle like the dragons lair scene, which has mike and will off to the side, blank faced as dustin and lucas sort of duel for princess daphne. then there’s more upfront moments like mike being completely uninterested in max, while even will seems to be at least a little curious about her (ofc not romantically like dustin and lucas) 

don't even get me started on mikes monologue to will in s2 being 10x more romantic than mike’s “love confession” monologue in s4 which fell flat on 90% of the audience (on purpose, I see u duffers)

the snowball scene isn’t meant to be a romantic scene for m1lev3n but it gets interpreted as one because of they way they film it, and it’s literally done that way ON PURPOSE. they are tricking you, me, the entire audience into believing mike is so upset because el isn’t there. but his reactions to will getting asked to dance and afterwards (with dustin also being upset over Lucas and max) are clear. then they show us Nancy asking dustin to dance along with el showing up to the snowball to dance with mike? 

The ending of s2 solidified mike using el as a cover for his queerness, to be normal, because he was aware that he was DIFFERENT. this is why m1lev3n is so insufferable to people in s3 because its written to be insufferable. they don’t want you to like it. to finally see mike and el as a couple? it’s annoying, ppl don’t like it, the characters themselves are over it and even el herself. 

then there’s will and mikes fight scene which is 10x more breakup coded than m1lev3ns ACTUAL breakup? bro had mike sobbing and throwing up as he biked across town in the pouring rain to apologize, meanwhile all mike did was eat Doritos and burp while complaining abt el breaking up with him, calling her a different species and such. he didn’t actually care deep down, it was more annoying and frustrating that she broke up with him than emotional because he didn’t love her romantically, he’s just mad that he lost his cover that keeps him appearing as normal as possible. 

the ending of s3 solidifies to me that el is ALSO using mike to be and feel normal, because they’d been broken up for months at this point and she suddenly feels the need to kiss him and tell him she loves him too? while mike literally tries to avoid remembering the shit he said earlier in the season, because he didn’t mean it and if he did, he wouldn’t have acted the way he fucking did in s4. BFFR. el only wanted mike back because she lost hopper. 

hoppers letter is meant to be familiar love between el and hopper and it’s meant to allude to the growing romantic tension between mike and will as well, in stranger things, there’s double, triple, quadruple meanings to everything and this is one of them. mike KNOWS he does not love el, he knows this in s2, he knows this during s3, he knows this coming into s4. mike is desperate to not lose her as his cover because as much as mike is “himself” back in Hawkins, he still can’t stop thinking about will because Hawkins isn’t the same without him. he knows he’s thinking about will too much, that he worries about el so much because he’s unable to face his true feelings that he has for will and not her and mike believes that el genuinely loves him (she doesn’t). 

this brings me to believe their official split is going to be a lot more mutual than ppl believe. el has come to terms that her and mike are over during nina, I believe el suspects/knows that mike is gay/likes will. their sbp talk paralleling jack and joey from Dawsons creek is almost too spot on for it not to mean something, especially to know will still pining and jealous over them right after it. 

in conclusion, im tired of pretending I ever thought mike and el were ever a cute ship, they weren’t. there was no spark between them for me and many others. it was like they were being forced into my face and I think the duffers did this with so much intention. not only did they straightbait robin and steve so well, but them “shoving” a straight ship into our face in the way mainstreams shows get criticized by homophobes for gay ships. it’s no wonder one of their favorite shows is Dawsons creek. 

mike wheeler is gay and never liked el. el hopper got caught up in mike’s internal conflict and also latched onto him for a sense of security and to feel like a normal teenage girl. 

fin. 

[gabessquishytum]

So I was rereading “the fire that breaks from thee then” for the millionth time and continuing to have Feelings about it and since these Feeling are your fault you get to be subjected to them.

So post top surgery, Destruction is very strict on Hob resting and taking it easy while he’s healing- he doesn’t want Hob to hurt any more or longer than absolutely necessary, so he dotes on him and pampers him and rubs salve into the incisions to encourage the scars to heal smoother. Part of “taking it easy” means that Destruction is not going anywhere near Hob with his cock. Hob gets it, he does, but still pouts and whines occasionally. Destruction will occasionally finger him gently before bed to help him relax, but that’s it.

Which means by the time Destruction declares that Hob is fully healed, they’re both about ready to explode. But despite that Destruction still takes it slow, not so much because he thinks Hob can’t handle it, but because he wants to take the time to appreciate the fact that there is so much more of Hob’s body available to him now. Hob never outright asked him not to touch his breasts, but he knew Hob didn’t like it and he never wanted to make him uncomfortable so he avoided the area instinctually. But now, he gets to fully palm Hob's pecs (his pecs!! He's got proper pecs now!), he gets to kiss and lick and bite all over his chest and Hob definitely cries a little but in a good way. Destruction spends a long time just mapping out every part of Hob’s body, nothing off limits anymore. Hob jokes that Destruction is just admiring his own handy work, which isn’t untrue, but still. He just loves getting to see Hob the most comfortable and himself he's ever been, and that includes seeing how he looks with his new chest covered in bite marks and cum.

-🦇

Aww this is so sweet of you!!!! Making noises n squirming around happily rn <333

I just love the thought of Hob and Destruction discovering and exploring his new chest together. It's like a new territory for them to venture into together, hand in hand. And aside from being wonderfully poetic and romantic it also just feels SO good. Hob has missed out on having his chest played with but it's almost like his body has been waiting and hoping. The muscles beneath his flesh tremble and shift as he's touched, and his skin flushes pink with pleasure. He's so reactives, how can Destruction help himself? He lowers his mouth to Hob’s pecs and kisses every inch until he's squirming. Destruction's beard is the perfect rough stimulus for the part of Hob’s brain that lights up for a little bit of pain, and he gets so incredibly wet just from his lover's mouth on his skin.

After that, Hob's chest is never left unmarked. His beautiful scars are accompanied by livid purple hickies and the harsh marks of teeth. He's Destruction's first, and most beloved, canvas. And he truly know now what it is to be worshipped.

[giovannisimp]

Inanimate Insanity: After School Edition - The Event

**DISCLAIMER**

The following story contains:

Gore

**VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED**

“So, what do you think of my earrings, girls?” Bow asked, showing off her new earrings to her classmates, Marshmallow and Apple.

“Oh my goodness they’re so cute!” Marshmallow gushed.

“I agree,” Apple spoke, “but why are you dressed all fancy again?”

“Dad’s got this huge meeting for his job,” Bow explained, “and there’s gonna be a kids area, so he decided to let Dough and I come.”

“Speaking of which,” Dough chimed in, “It’s about time. Let’s go ask one of the adults if they can take us.”

The Cooker children approached the four caretakers.

“Aww, Bow!” Poppy gushed. “You’re so cute! I love your dress sweetie!”

“Thank you Poppy,” Bow bragged, “I know, I’m perfect!”

“Can one of you take us to the Meeple store on Chavez Boulevard?” Dough asked.

MePad spoke up. “I will gladly-“

“You’re not going **anywhere** near an Meeple store.” MePhone had roughly grabbed his little brother, sending pain through his arm. “Do I make myself clear?”

MePad sighed. “I understand…” He never understood MePhone’s hateed toward their father’s company, but he’d listen to him either way.

“Ooh! Ooh!” Toilet chimed up. “I can drive, I can take them!”

“Why don’t you go take them then?” Poppy suggested, wrapping their arms around one of MePhone’s arm in an attempt to calm him down.

“Okay kiddos, follow me!” Toilet was excited. Bow and Dough followed him.

Bow and Dough had arrived at the Meeple store, and of course it was busy. They walked inside and were immediately approached by Tim Cooker, vice president of Meeple, and father of the two children.

“Hello my lovely children!” Cooker greeted them. He loved his kids and would do anything for them. “How was after school care?”

“It was okay.” Dough said.

“Well,” Cooker responded, “the kids area is over there, other workers have their kids over there too, so you won’t be alone.”

Bow and Dough had gotten to the kids area, and was met with scrutinizing judgement.

“Ugh, it’s one of the big boss’ kids…” One kid spoke up.

“What does **that** have to do with anything?” Bow got snappy. She felt intimidated and outnumbered.

“You think you’re better than us, do you?!” Another kid got aggressive.

“Uh… no?” Dough spoke. He sounded like he had an attitude.

“They do!” A third kid spoke up. “Throw them to the streets.”

Despite their protest, the children pushed Bow and Dough outside through the nearby door, and shut it. As Bow banged on the door, she could hear laughing from the other kids.

“Ugh, those jerks!” Bow groaned.

“It’s whatever.” Dough responded. He didn’t really care.

A car’s headlights came approaching. It parked right in front of the two children, and a familiar face to them stepped out of the car. The children recognized his curly golden beard, that wrinkled face, and those round glasses.

“Oh, look!” Dough sounded hopeful. “It’s Mr. Cobs! Mr. Cobs, we-“

*SHRNK*

Dough was stabbed in the neck by the older man. Bow stood there, shocked. This was her father’s most trusted ally, and he just stabbed her brother in the neck. Dough fell to the ground, limp and bleeding.

“Dough!” Bow rushed to her big brother’s side.

“**You.**”

Cobs approached the little girl.

“You gonna say something? Or are you gonna keep that mouth sealed?”

Bow was threatened, but she couldn’t just let her brother die in vain. She had prepared to scream. Cobs took notice of this, and stabbed her 1 times… which turned to 4… which turned to 16… which turned to 64. He had stabbed the little girl 64 times in the stomach and gut. He gathered their bodies in a trashbag.

“I’ve got what I’ve needed. Time to see if my

hypothesis was right.

He threw the bag in his car’s trunk and drove off.

[feyres-divorce-lawyer]

@looseleaflettuce YOU GET TWO🫶🏾🎉

QUEUE THE LIVE REACTIONS

This darkness, while familiar, is unlike the depths of death. It doesn’t burn, doesn’t hurt, doesn’t beckon to me.

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 3 ~ Pg. 40

banger opener

My hearing, my smell, my touch all comes back at once. I can hear the steady thrumming of a heartbeat, the crackling of a fire, feel the* soft pelts still under me, detect the smell of vanilla and of a sharp, stinging menthol. 

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 3 ~ Pg. 40

listing the senses that come back and then describing what she detects with them. my english teacher would love you

A warm smile hides behind his thick beard, his hair twisted into carefully maintained dreads down his back, wrapped in chains and jewels.

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 3 ~ Pg. 41

not archer😔 but dreads you say👀

For just a second, a whisper of a smile breaks across his face before his lips tighten into a flat line. He doesn’t stand, doesn’t move towards me. Barely looks at me as his gaze drops to his hands. 

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 3 ~ Pg. 42

ruh roh. solweh what did you do

That’s all he has time to do before I’ve shot across the room and pinned him to the rickety wall, my hand around his throat.

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 3 ~ Pg. 43

WOAG… me nex- 💥💥🔫 who said that

“Why am I different from him?”

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 3 ~ Pg. 48

HA! so she is the only witchire….. vampitch?

“You weren’t human when they killed us,”

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 3 ~ Pg. 48

inchresting🤔 affair? 👀

“I’jam’s dead, too, Soc - Zandri. It’s just us left. “Good riddance.”

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 3 ~ Pg. 48

damn. she does not give a single fuck💀

“Yes. Your father was a witch,”

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 3 ~ Pg. 54

aww no affair

If he didn’t kill them completely, he left enough venom in them to change them into -

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 3 ~ Pg. 55

ahh so that’s how they’re made.

You were .. Reborn,” he adopts the word with a slight smile, “slightly over one thousand years ago.

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 3 ~ Pg. 56

DAMN

You are back to your full strength, and you are no longer required to feed to survive. Your thirst is gone.

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 3 ~ Pg. 59

YAY!🎊🎉🥳🥳 thanks ileriad

Like the earth took a breath once he was gone, as if she could finally breathe past the darkness my brother carried, that he infected her lands with.

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 3 ~ Pg. 61

mother earth: GOOD RIDDANCE

“but the magic of the witches, even the dark magic they were using, did not appreciate one of their own being sacrificed for such a thing.”

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 3 ~ Pg. 62

WHOOO! witch magic for the win

“So because I am a witch, I doomed my siblings to this - this existence. And countless others.”

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 3 ~ Pg. 62

sigh. she’s soooo blaming herself for this

It would have been better if we had just died when they killed us the first time

Cusp Of The Mend | Ch. 3 ~ Pg. 63

nuh uh☝🏾

Review Time!

Don’t know if it was intentional but I like how the sisters avoid their vampirism while the brothers embraced it. Speaks of their personalities. Not gonna lie, I didn’t feel bad for I’jam. Sucks to suck igz, at least he lived for seven centuries (justice for ra’jem😔). Luna gets a witch companion now! I think she’s still gonna avoid humans regardless of that spell and something’s gonna go wrong with it in the future probably. More worldbuilding! Glad the spell got explained and why it went wrong. Curious as to what the parents would’ve become had it worked and how they would’ve been worse but alas. Next Up: Chapter 4 ~ Hope Is All We Have♥️

(*there’s a typo at the beginning. missing “t” in the)

[jamietxrtt]

episode three. SO MUCH IS HAPPENING.

GAY COLIN GAU GCCOLIN GAY COLIN CAY GOLK.NNNZNSFKDJNDSFJSDFNSEMFKJSF

THEY KISSED!!!! THEY KISSED ONSCREEN!!!! i knew we were gonna get gay colin from the filming spoilers but OH MY GOD. AN ACTUAL QUEER KISS. ON SCREEN. IN TEDLASSO. ASHDHASDFHDFSSMGHKJWRBGKRWGWREGNWR

so curious about who his boyfriend is??? why is he casually flying to dubai??

also the first time i watched this i mistook it for being jamie’s house and i was like HOLD ON HANG ON A MINUTE HOLD ON HOLD ON HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE

he looks so nervous when walking from the door to the car like he’s trying to hide from anybody else around but. babe you think they won’t notice your bright orange lamborghini??? like i think you have to be more worried about getting caught when ur IN the car not out of it

THE INTRO FAKEOUT ALSKJFLSDJGRKGJERG

“if my maths” roy nods “are correct” roy shakes his head. i think bc it’s supposed to be plural? i’m american idk

also!! roy encouraging ted with that little nod was actually really cute and sweet!!

OHHHHHHH ROY SAID COLIN’S A CHAMELEON. OHHHHHHH. see the first time i watched this i heard “colin’s a comedian” and i was like huh this must be some football terminology i don’t know. you call someone who’s a really versatile player a comedian? hm that’s a funny name. well football is wacky!

in s2 jamie calls roy a “grumpy old twat” and ted says “now i agree with the grumpy part, but those other two i take issue with.” now in s3 roy calls jamie a “fragile little bitch” and ted just says “yep that’s what i meant, thanks roy”. part of a pattern of ted defending roy but not defending jamie in the same circumstances-- which is honestly fair, i get why he’d like roy better, but it’s an interesting pattern to notice

ted calling higgins “higgie bear” :)

“fuck yeah, princess diaries!” reminds me of beard in s1 “fuck yeah, the gershwins!”

jamie literally physically getting pushed out by zava aww

also “come on, hurry up and get dressed, we don’t want to keep our newest teammate waiting!” smash cut directly to everyone being kept waiting by said teammate

ted referencing richmond VA made me laugh bc that’s the first thing i always think of when i hear richmond lmao

HEHEHEHEHE KEELEY CLEARLY HAS A BIT OF A CRUSH ON ZAVA. her sticking her hand straight out with the little “hii!!!!!” girl can’t get over those hot famous footballers can she

and SHANDY’s into him too. everyone is stunned by zava

except, it seems, rebecca… right after zava says “you are the glue” to higgins, she gets this look on her face like she’s realizing something… it made me think back to last episode, where she talked about how rupert had the ability to make you feel special, like you were chosen just because he deigned to talk to you, and how that made you addicted to his attention. i think she’s now seeing that zava’s doing the exact same thing-- he knows exactly what to say to make everyone charmed, to make everyone feel special. to make his approval the most important thing you could get. i think that’s why rebecca is one of the few who’s immune to his charm-- she’s had plenty of practice resisting that kind of manipulation.

“how did the damage control go?” “oh it was a mess, but he was adorable” ALSKJFLKSDJF SAME SHANDY

everyone keeps having very interesting reactions to shandy. keeley says “we work together” and they’re still like ??? and then she says “and we’re old friends” and they’re like oh NOW it makes sense. both higgins did it and later the boys when she’s talking to them about the interview stuff. and possibly rebecca did something similar last episode but i can’t remember. i think it’s meant to show how they don’t really think she’s super professional so they need an extra bit of explanation for WHY she’s working with keeley? i wonder if that will become a point of tension between them. “you keep telling everyone i’m your friend like you needed some excuse to hire me, like i’m not good enough just on my own, so you have to explain why i’m here. do you actually think i’m capable of this or are you just pitying me? why did you offer me the job if you don’t actually think i’m capable of doing this?”

my first reaction when zava walked into the locker room: “ah, so zava is jesus”

i like the bit where he keeps standing in front of ted ASKJFLKSJF i found that funny

calling the kitman “the most important person in the room” interesting contrast to s1 jamie and the rest of the guys who always tormented the kitman. zava is self absorbed and possibly insidious but in a very different way

also when he gestures to jamie like he thinks jamie is the kitman and roy sees it and smiles ASLDFJLKSJ ROY. also jamie’s look after zava points at him like “bitch?” and the way he looks to roy like “can you believe this shit?”

“i too worked as a ballboy when i was eleven years old” “i’m… twenty five” see this is a perfect example of the insidiousness of zava!! he’s claiming to appreciate will but infantilizes and disrespects him in the process… it’s a very “aww, aren’t you adorable” kind of smug demeaning attitude… but done through the cover of appreciating him, so it still looks like he’s a good guy

the joke of him letting out the breath and everyone else running out of air ASLKFJLKDSJFLKDSJFLSDKFj as a singer i appreciate that joke so much…. like how much fkn lung capacity do you HAVE

ted looking to roy to talk to zava ALKSDJFLKDSJFLSDKJFSDLJFDSLJF and then roy’s “you’re the fucking coach!!”

all the boys in the back peering into the coaches office ASKDJFLSDKJFLSK

i never understand any of the jokes in this show AKLSJFLSKFJSLD i’m so unknowledgeable about pop culture the references always fly right over my head

hi this is just to remind everyone that hannah waddingham is an excellent actor. every time i see one of her face journeys they’re just so immaculate. her reaction shots are always SO GOOD. you can always clearly see exactly what she’s thinking but without it being hammy or over the top. she’s perfect at it

“because your mother was a skeptic” lmaooo, you can see how much rebecca LOVES being told that she’s more like her mother than she thought she was aSLDKFSDLKFJS

like i realize that tish is a scam artist but i also kind of love her for the aesthetic alone. i would kill to live in this house

as SOON as tish said “there’s thunder and lightning” i immediately thought “you deserve someone who makes you feel like you’ve been struck by fucking lightning”

“you’re drenched and you’re upside down but you’re safe” it’ll be scary and you’ll be turned around but it’s okay, love is worth it, you’re safe

i thought the “you’re going to be a mother” thing was gonna pull rebecca back but i’m proud of her for recognizing it as the control/scam tactic it is. identifying the thing your client cares about most (tish talks to deborah once a month so she’d probably know that rebecca has always wanted kids, or otherwise it’s not a hard thing to guess would be a sore subject given the rupert drama, and the fact that rupert now has a kid with someone besides her, is public knowledge), whether it be kids, a dead loved one, money, fate, etc, and using that as leverage to get them to stay, thereby giving them false hope about something genuinely important to them-- like say, communicating with a dead loved one-- and setting them up to be crushed just so you can get them to stay and keep paying you.

however i’m still unclear on how much the show wants us to be on tish’s side bc later the green matchbox thing comes true so?????

shandy confronting roy about the breakup AHHHHH girl i know you’re trying to help by defending keeley but you are putting her in a SO MUCH MORE AWKWARD POSITIONNNN

keeley has spent the whole season so far trying to paste a fake smile on top of a situation she feels is spiraling out of her control :(

beard’s little HEHEHEHEHEHE after he tricks ted about the wordle ASKLDJFLKDSJFDSLK I LOVE HIM

also you can tell how long s3 was in production because they made this when wordle was still the big craze lololol

when jamie says “i think we’ve got a good thing going here, and zava’s already fucking it all up!” roy gives an interesting look. i took it to mean “i agree but i don’t like the fact that i agree with fucking jamie”

“thanks for hearing me out” “thanks for speaking your mind! please continue to do so!” reminds me of ted in s2 to sam “you are a leader on this team. i want you to speak your mind.”

“i weren’t being ironic, i was being hypocritical” jamie corrects people on language twice in this ep (later he corrects roy with prima donna vs pre-madonna), which is interesting because of his historical difficulties with language (nail in the ashes, instant caramel, etc). i wonder if he’s been trying to pay more attention to that? or if this is supposed to say that jamie has been smarter than everyone thought all along and he’s just been playing dumb? (like how when beard asks him “isn’t that a bit ironic?” he says “...i dunno” as if he’s too thick to get what beard means when he says ironic. but then later when he says “i wasn’t being ironic, i was being hypocritical,” it both shows that he DID understand what beard meant, and also that he’s smart enough to correctly label the interaction himself. so then why didn’t he just say that earlier, why did he pretend like he didn’t get what beard meant by ironic? maybe this is supposed to say that he was pretending in the past, too. …or maybe i’m reading too much into this bc i love him lololol)

also the fact that jamie was freely able to admit he was being hypocritical!! like he understands that he was the same way in s1, but when he was the same way (it’s all about me, just give me the ball and i’ll win all the games for us, you all are just my backup dancers) it was seen as a huge problem and a red flag and a detrimental effect on the locker room. and now when zava does the same thing it’s okay? like jamie understands that he was the same way, but he also understands that the way he was was WRONG. so why is it not still wrong when zava does it?

“now remember, this 4-5-1 is not about dropping back. it’s about getting fucking service into the box for zava” and the fact that they have penalties: zava, free kicks: zava, corners: zava, is all verrrrry interesting. because jamie in s1 was the same way! “Look, our whole offense right now is all give-and-go. Give the ball to Jamie and everyone else can go to hell.” which is literally now the strategy they have with zava!!! but when that was the case with jamie, it was seen as a HUUUGE PROBLEM that needed to change! why is it fine when it’s zava in that place instead?

isaac asking colin if he was alright is very very sweet. i love a good captain and friend <3

also written on the board “make this match your match-terpiece” i love teddd that’s so cute

and then zava breaking up the hand circle to make them put their hands on HIM and HE takes the richmond on three instead of the captain…… mmmmm don’t like it

when jamie lingers behind and gives ted that “told ya so” look AKLSJDFLKSDFJ. remind me of when sam did the same thing in s2 when jamie first came back

also i can’t tell what beard says right after that so if anyone else can make it out pls lmk

“i can’t remember michelle’s cell phone number.” “OHHHH.”

that trump impression was so painful. but i think it was supposed to be

also he calls her “michelle keller” which is very interesting, i don’t think we’ve ever learned her maiden name, bc ted still has her in his phone as “michelle lasso”

the look on jake’s face when he realizes it’s ted. he’s just like “and that’s when i knew i fucked up”

“dr jacobs?” “yeah, uh, you can just call me jake!” ASLKFDJSLKDJFSKD YEAH I’LL BET BUDDY u are so getting your license revoked

and then him begging michelle to take the phone and that whispered “it’s ted” and then it’s MICHELLE’S turn to go “and that’s when i knew i fucked up”

laurel pointed this out to me but henry picking jamie’s number for his soccer team is so cuteeeee

i do like michelle and jake’s little mouthed conversation “i’m sorry” “no, i’m sorry”

ted listening over the phone to jake saying “come on, bud. you ever seen a subaru…” and you can tell his heart is just breaking bc it should be HIM driving henry to his soccer game

when zava told jamie “get open, i will find you” i genuinely thought that meant he was going to pass to jamie and was trying to win jamie over too by giving him chances to score. but obviously not. he was just fucking with his head a think.

also did he slap jamie’s ass????????

ted on the verge of another panic attack :(((((((

and just as a jamie stan i really hate how zava’s halfway line goal kinda shows up jamie’s amazing penalty goal from last season but that’s just me being biased ALSJDFLKDSJFKD

dani on zava’s back is so cuteeee

YESSSS I LOVE A MONTAGE

jamie walking into them meditating and then walking right back out asKLFDJSLFJSKJFSASLKDFJSLKDJF that was so funny

also love how the whiteboard in that scene just says “OM”

saw someone comparing zava to a mini cult leader and yeah tbh true

ted facebook stalking his ex’s new man while drinking alone in his apartment :( ted baby no this is not the way

rebecca’s “what the fuck am i doing?” look when she catches herself looking for the green matchbook SKLJFLKSJF

colin texting his boyf in the locker room that’s risky man, anyone could look over ur shoulder

fucking zava stealing jamie’s first goal of the season makes me so mad. again this is just bc i’m a jamie stan. but still

aaaand roy definitely notices when zava steals that goal and doesn’t look too enthused about it. again i think he’s kind of agreeing with jamie that zava is not cool but doesn’t want to admit that he’s agreeing with jamie. (i think this is all leadup to him offering to train jamie later on, like he wants jamie to best zava too)

again allow me to be a jamie stan for a minute: them winning for the first time at man U…. an AWAY GAME at man u…….. so IN MANCHESTER….. and zava scored a hat trick, meaning nobody else scored….. so jamie didn’t score….. while in manchester….. do u see where i’m going with this

RUPERT BEX BABY

dani mimicking zava with the snapping is very very cute

DANI MADE ZAVA A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET… SO CUTE

colin and his boyf (michael?) being “wingman” for each other…. mmm not a bad cover story! interesting that they had that so rehearsed, wonder how often they use that line

beard ordering “a single and a double…. a triple….” just like ted did back in the gala ep HAHAHA

beard and jane continue to make me uncomfortable

roy noticing jamie sitting alone and going to talk to him is actually really sweet….

JAMIE EARRINGS??? I DIDN’T REALIZE HE HAD HIS EARS PIERCED

also jamie forever with the icon branded stuff ALSKFJSLKFJSDLKFJ

“god’s gift to people who have everything” very interesting to me that jamie phrases it like this, because…. doesn’t he also kinda have everything????? he’s mega stupid rich. what does he mean by “everything”?

“you used to be the best. now you’re not. it happens.” roy knows this from experience, jamie. the same thing happened to him. also i like his little nod on this line. he’s genuinely trying to be supportive. it’s very sweet :) i like roy trying to give jamie some guidance, i think it’s very sweet

also jamie “you thought i was the best?” hehehe he cares what roy thinks… roy’s always gonna be his childhood hero from his poster <3

roy’s “but only if you fuckin’ mean it” to jamie is the same thing he said to phoebe’s soccer team last season hehe

“yeah, she’s great, i love how not shy she is” and rebecca is immediately like OPE BACKHANDED COMPLIMENT ALSKFJLKSDJFSD

keeley and rebecca looking at sam, then roy, then jamie…. you ever have a nightmare where all your exes are in the same room? keeley and rebecca live in that every day ALSDKFJDSLKFJDSLJFSDLKF

the two of them realizing “wow, we truly are both in the most awkward of situations here” is very funny ASKLDJFLKSDJFSD

wtf was that thing about avocados about? where did zava get avocados from? i don’t get this interaction what is it trying to say

noticed a little continuity error lol. when sam is receiving the matchboxes you can see beard and jane behind him just sitting and talking but then in the very next shot they’re making out and she shoved him away lol

MIND UR OWN BUSINESS TRENT. MIND UR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS.

man. SO MUCH happened this ep. these 50 minute episodes are gonna kill me