#they’re optional- I *choose* to let them in. I do fine without others- I almost prefer it to be that way!

[totallynormal-humanbeing]

There’s gotta be a disorder out there thar describes my system,,, as much as Id love to be a case study, I dont want to be that guy™️ who is so fucked up he needs his own diagnosis

[sashaisready]

Feel The Burn: Chapter 3

Lance Tucker x Reader | Destroyer!Chris x Reader

Series Masterlist

Your casual situationship with notorious flirt Lance Tucker comes to a shocking head at a party, fortunately the mysterious stranger you meet that same night is more than happy to help take your mind off it.

Wordcount: Approx. 2250

Sorry this took so long, I had a really restful Christmas break with my family and my whole brain shut down. But now it's back! Mostly! Thanks to everyone who has interacted with this story so far, I'm really enjoying it. As always, reblogs and comments mean the world. And shout out to SebStan for his golden globe win last night! Thoroughly deserved ⭐

“Lance…what are you-” you asked with trepidation as your eyes shift back to Chris, but he immediately interrupts.

“I’ve been trying to call you…” he explains coolly. He’s not looking at you, but over your shoulder at Chris, he seems irritated – his expression sour, “but there must be something up with your phone…”

“There’s not,” you respond curtly.

You see the tiniest hint of surprise on his face as he absorbs your meaning, you probably wouldn’t have even registered it if you didn’t know him like you did. But you do, and it’s there, a fleeting glimpse of fallibility before it’s consumed by his trademark smirk.

“Ah,” he chuckles knowingly without humour, “gotcha”.

“Is everything okay here?” Chris asks from behind you, his tone laced with concern. He gets up from the table and moves to stand next to you, an ally on your side of the battlefield.

“Everything’s fine, pal,” Lance responds before you can. His tone is breezy and light, but you can see him sizing Chris up. It’s almost funny to see them to see them together like this and you’re struck by the strange resemblance despite their stark differences in aesthetic. They could almost be brothers.

“Glad to hear it, pal,” Chris smirks back at him, unperturbed. “But I just want to hear it from the lady”.

“It’s fine, thanks Chris,” you smile at him before turning back to Lance.

“See? It’s fine, Chris,” Lance returns with a sickly-sweet grin, saying Chris’ name like its venom in his mouth. He expertly toes the line between sincerity and mockery, but it’s perfectly clear to you (and no doubt to Chris) which option he intends.

“I’m Lance, by the way,” he extends his hand to the other man and the two of them shake. Despite the cordial gesture, you can clearly see the way they’re both scrutinising each other.

Your eyes flit between the two men and you’re suddenly very aware that this not-quite-confrontation is happening at your place of work. You notice a few patrons glancing over and your heart suddenly beats faster. You’re not exactly one for public drama, you don’t want your personal life playing out in front of your customers and risking any potential impact to your business.

The thin veneer of politeness between Lance and Chris threatens to crack at any moment, particularly if Lance decides to be Lance and chooses to antagonise his new friend.

“So…Chris, what line of work are you in?” Lance practically sneers.

You feel your panic increase as they casually chat in strained short sentences about their jobs. You’re aware of how odd it is that you’re not chiming in, seeing as they’re both here for you – but you simply don’t know what to say. Chris showing up was a curveball, but Lance popping up too had completely knocked you off balance. You’re not built for this; you rarely have one man – let alone two. You can’t handle it.

“Mechanic huh? Maybe you could take a look at my fenders,” Lance grins.

“Yeah maybe,” Chris shoots back without missing a beat, “but I’m pretty busy. And very expensive…” he chuckles.

Lance laughs thinly and you realise you need to actually do something before this all implodes.

“I…uh…” you stumble as you try to ease the tension, but you seem to have forgotten how to form even the most basic sentences. You look between Chris and Lance as they both look back at you expectantly.

“What are you doing here, Lance?” you manage to hiss in a small whisper as you regain some of your composure.

“I wanted to talk to you,” he replies, leaning slightly closer towards you as if Chris wouldn’t be to hear. His briefly looks over at Chris and then back at you, slightly self-consciously. “I haven’t been able to get hold of you so-”

“I’ve been busy,” you cut him off, your voice hushed as to not draw to much attention. “And I don’t really think there’s anything to say”.

“What happened at the party…”

“I really don’t think there’s anything to say,” you repeat firmly, “and if there was, it wouldn’t be here…where I work”.

He bites his lip for a moment, glancing around the café as if he suddenly realises where he is for the first time. He scoffs dismissively, rolling his eyes.

“Cupcake…” he says almost teasingly.

“Lance, please,” you hiss again – your voice unintentionally more pleading than demanding.

He looks at you then, really looks at you, and you’re surprised that his eyes soften in response. You just expected him to continue antagonising you, but he seems to pick up on your distress.

“Fine,” he yields, his voice gentler now, hushed. He takes a second to choose his words and clears his throat, “I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. It was shitty, what I did, and I wish I could take it back. And I wanted to explain…”

You don’t respond, your blank expression shuts down anything further. Inwardly you’re shocked, you’ve never heard anything like that come out of his mouth before. He’s exposed…almost vulnerable in that moment.

But you wouldn’t let him get wind of that. Not after what he did.

He seems unsurprised by your lack of reply and takes a step back, “I gotta get back to the gym. Good to meet you, man,” he nods over at Chris, his tone somber.

“Yeah, you too,” Chris rasps back unconvincingly.

“See you around, Cupcake,” he tells you as he walks to the door. The two of you lock eyes until he leaves. You know this is the right move, ignoring the slight stirring in your stomach.

Chris chuckles as the door closes, “wow, motherfucker in the flesh, huh?”

You grimace, offering a hollow laugh of your own, “yeah that’s him. I’m sorry…I didn’t expect him to show up here like that…I’m sorry he was a dick to you…”

“Eh. Nothing I can’t handle. There are guys like that everywhere, you just learn not to rise to it as that’s what they’re counting on,” Chris shrugs nonchalantly and sits back down at the table. “Clearly, he’s having regrets about what happened between you two, and he obviously was thrown by me being here. I bet he had a whole speech planned for you which I messed up for him…” he smirks.

You nod as you sit back down, still embarrassed about this mini soap opera playing out around you. But Chris seems utterly unfazed by it all, he carries a quiet confidence – like he has nothing to prove to anyone. The opposite of Lance, loud and proud – ensuring everyone knows who he is. Surely Chris doesn’t need this? He’s cool. Calm. He can’t want high school stuff like this in his life.

“Chris…” you begin hesitantly, “I’m really glad you came over here to see me. And it’s been really nice chatting with you. But I’m sorry you’re somehow mixed up in my shit. Funnily enough my personal life is never normally this interesting,” you force a laugh, “but look…I’d completely understand if you don’t want to deal with my drama…”

“There’s no drama,” he cuts you off and begins collecting up your used mug and plate, “and I want to be here. It would take more than some jumped-up Olympian to scare me away from you,” he shoots you a wink.

You feel yourself flush at the compliment, then watch as he stacks up the crockery on the table.

“If you’re sure…Hey…you don’t have to do that…” you protest, going to take the plates from him. But he lightly shoos you away.

“Like I said, I want to”, he re-iterates as he locks eyes with you, “it’s okay to let people help you, you know”.

His tone is gentle, but the meaning is firm. He’s not just talking about dirty plates. You relent, dropping your hands to your sides as he moves the stack to the counter which Marina accepts with a smile. She thanks him as she moves them to the dishwasher crate, and he steps back towards you.

“Guess I’m kinda used to doing everything myself,” you smile meekly, your eyes dropping to your knees.

Chris leans over and props your chin up with his thumb. You’re practically nose-to-nose with him now, his cerulean eyes boring into you with a heat that catches you by surprise.

“I can tell you’ve had experience with people who keep you guessing, or don’t tell you exactly what they mean,” he whispers without breaking eye contact, “so let me be clear here, I will always be upfront with you. I say what I mean, and I mean what I say”.

You blink, bewildered but enraptured. The coffee shop melts away around you, it’s just you and him here now.

“And so…” he continues, “I’ll lay my cards on the table here and now. I like you. I think you’re cute. I think you’re interesting. I want to get to know you better, maybe take you out for something stronger than a coffee. But if you’re not into it, that’s cool too. It’s an invite, not a summons.”

You can’t quite believe his directness, but it’s refreshing – clear and unambiguous, an oasis of clarity after being lost in the desert of Lance’s mixed signals for so long. You also can’t quite believe he’s into you, your general shyness means you don’t normally catch the eye of men like Chris. You’re sure he’d rather be with someone cooler, someone prettier, someone with their shit together. But he seems so sure…

Maybe it’s time to step out of your comfort zone, accept help like he said – but also take people at their word. Maybe this whole Lance mess was meant to happen to help you see that, and start accepting better, more. Accepting what you deserve.

You nod dumbly, inspired by his boldness you grab a napkin and a sharpie from the counter and scribble your phone number on it. You pass it over to him quickly before your nerves talk you out of it.

He grins, carefully folding up the napkin and slotting it into his pocket as if it were some delicate object that he needed to preserve.

“Well, thanks. I’ve gotta get back to the shop. Thanks for the coffee, and the danish was great – you were right to push it”.

“Told ya”, you beam back at him.

He leans over and kisses you on the cheek. It’s sweet, chaste – you can’t help the little gasp that escapes your lips. Your skin suddenly feels hot, your heart pounding. He smiles again, that charming smile, and you’re amazed that you haven’t melted into the floor

He moves to leave, then turns to you once more, scoffing and rolling his eyes.

“He calls you cupcake? How lame…” he laughs.

You manage a chuckle back and shrug nonchalantly, but inside you feel a small sting. Embarrassingly, you like that Lance calls you that. It had started when he’d dropped by the shop one morning early on in your fling, you’d given him a coffee and suggested he get a cupcake with it. The new banoffee recipe. He’d looked at you like you’d shot him, the horrified outrage on his face so theatrical that you had fallen about laughing. He launched into a rant about his training and fitness and the evils of sugar while you watched on, amused, and tickled. You knew he was hamming it up to make you laugh, smirking knowingly as he went on and on - and it had worked, you were in hysterics. It had culminated in you taking a bite of the cupcake as he ranted, in defiance of his sugar hatred. He had responded by swiping the remaining cake and swallowing it almost whole. He mock admonished you through mouthfuls of cake about the extra gym session he’d need to fit in to work it off now you’d ‘forced’ him to eat that, as you protested through giggles. And thus, Cupcake was sealed, his nickname from you from then on. He barely used your real name after that.

It became a bit between the two of you, you offering him junk food and then him ranting about his training in response. It was an instant guarantee to get him worked up, and you couldn’t resist. But it was never serious. He never judged you for what you ate, never shamed you or made you feel bad. His discipline as a trainer never translated to expectations or judgement of you, and you never felt like he was looking down his nose at you for not surviving on mostly protein like he did. In fact, he brought you sweet treats, ordered you take out. He’d steal bites of your fries and play innocent afterwards. (‘Why would I steal your fries? Baby…you think these abs come from fries…?’) You always imagined that sleeping with a gym bro would mean lectures about trans-fats and insisting on morning jogs, but Lance, to his credit, never once projected any of that onto you. You only ever felt comfortable in your own skin around him.

So, Chris’ teasing was a surprisingly pinch. You weren’t sure why. It wasn’t like Lance deserved any of your grace, and it was a pretty cringy nickname…

You moved it to the back of your mind.

You waved Chris off and smiled as he left the shop. You went back to work, basking in the giddiness and excitement of meeting someone new…and finally not feeling like an afterthought.

[secretidentityxoxo]

Princess Kenny x GN reader

･ﾟﾟ･｡・゜゜・． ✧༺🖤༻ ✧ .・゜゜・｡･ﾟﾟ･

Warnings: NSFW, dom-sub

*characters are aged up ofc*

Y/N is gender fluid

Y/N grew up w the boys and was always friends w them

The events of the episodes leading to “the stick of truth” are set when they’re teenagers… don’t think much ab it lol

･ﾟﾟ･｡・゜゜・． ✧༺🖤༻ ✧ .・゜゜・｡･ﾟﾟ･

A drop of sweat dripped down of y/n’s forehead, it was a hot summer day, Stan’s play station army had been standing under the sun the whole day, there was no time to waste, Cartman’s Xbox army was said to have a secret weapon so Stan ordered you to train harder and to think of more strategies.

It had been a long long day, the heat and the work had been exhausting for everyone.

The whole troop was standing in Kenny’s backyard while forging weapons, everyone was concentrated on their own creations when suddenly, a sweet muffled voice broke the silence.

-“My knights…”

Everyone looked up, it was Princess Kenny, her chin was tilted down and she looked at everyone sweetly while batting her cartoonish eyes.

-“y-y-y-yes p-Princess k-k-Kenny?” Jimmy said with a smile

-“I know you’ve all been working so… hard…”

Princess Kenny gripped the arm of her throne.

-“I just thought…one of you may like a little distraction”

She smirked lustingly.

-“what do you mEan prIncess” Tweek twitched

-“we’ll…”

Her voice was soft and flirty.

-“who would like to please their princess?”

She spread her legs lightly while leaning back on her throne.

-“Kenny…” Stan sighed while pinching the bridge of his nose at the request

Surprisingly for him, a couple of boys started gathering in front of the Princess’s throne.

Y/N could not believe what just came out of the Princess’s mouth, Y/N had liked Kenny for so long, this chance was just perfect.

Y/N ran fast just to find the other boy’s’ backs blocking the way. With no hesitation, Y/N shoved the other suitors to the ground.

-“Me princess, please, choose me”

Y/N got down on one knee and bowed to the Princess.

-“you’re determined, I see…”

Princess Kenny hopped off her throne and walked towards Y/N. Y/N gulped

-“fine, I’ll grant you the honor of pleasing your princess”

Y/N looked up at Princess Kenny who was smirking while a look of lust painted her face. She extended her hand and offered it to Y/N.

Y/N held the Princess’s hand and stood up with her help, earning jealous looks of the boys around them

-“you shall take me to my chambers now”

Princess Kenny intertwined her fingers with Y/N’s and walked smoothly with her chin up.

Walking hand in hand, the princess and Y/N entered Kenny’s house, his brother Kenny was passed out on the couch and his parents had gone somewhere with Karen.

Nervously and almost shaking, Y/N let Princess Kenny guide them as they entered Kenny’s room. Y/N entered first, the princess closed the door behind her and placed a chair under the doorknob as the only option to lock it. She turned on her heels and stared at Y/N with a lusty smirk as she walked towards Y/N, when she got there, she grabbed her knight by the shirt and pressed the lover to her.

-“Kenny…”

Y/N gulped

-“It’s PRINCESS Kenny to you”

Y/N didn’t dare to speak another word. Princess Kenny pushed down her knight to the bed and without thinking it twice she spread her legs and sat on top of Y/N while pressing her bulge against her lover’s clothed genitals.

This was a scene taken straight out of Y/N’s deepest fantasies, Kenny and Y/N had always been good friends but Y/N had been having a crush on Kenny for a while now, he was sweet, caring, a perv, kind, funny and down to earth, Y/N couldn’t help but love him. Still, Y/N did not only like Kenny’s heart and mind, but also his physique, his skinny pale body, his messy dark blond hair, his kind but seductive eyes, but specially his hands, his slender, long fingered, black nailed gentle hands. So this was THE chance to finally enjoy Kenny like Y/N had always wanted to, without thinking about it twice, Y/N’s hands traveled to Kenny’s face and held him lovingly, then Y/N kissed him.

Although a little surprised by the softness of the kiss, princess Kenny kissed back, placing her soft, pink lips against Y/N’s.

Sooner than later, the soft kiss turned into a passionate one, Princess Kenny had her hand on Y/N’s chest and close to the nipple, turning Y/N on even more, the princess started to smoothly grind her hips back and forth, her kisses started to travel south, the princess kissed Y/N’s neck slowly and with a burning passion, suddenly, she stopped.

Y/N looked at the princess in complaint, but she just shot a classic flirty Kenny smile

-“you came here to please your princess, not for your princess to please you”

Her fingers lingered on her jacket’s zipper

-“please your princess, my knight”

Kenny said in his usual raspy voice, making Y/N’s heart rate accelerate

Princess Kenny unzipped her jacket rapidly and her hand reached inside her dress, she pulled out the balled up socks that served as her breasts, she threw them over her shoulder and started to slowly pull down the front of her dress while looking at Y/N straight in the eye so she wouldn’t miss her reaction

Y/N gulped as the dress gently glazed over the princess’s nipples, once Kenny’s flat chest was completely uncovered, the princess brushed her white gloved fingers against one of her nipples

-“like what you see, soldier?”

-mhmm

Y/N said mesmerized but didn’t move.

It was then when the princess understood she would have to take the lead, as her lover was too shy to do it.

-“how about a little kiss?”

Princess Kenny placed her chest close to Y/N’s lips, and while maintaining eye contact, Y/N started to gently suck on the Princess’s nipple. Slowly Y/N’s hand traveled to the remaining nipple and started stroking it gently.

The princess kept grinding against Y/N’s genitals, her dick getting harder and harder while she left out small sweet moans

As the Princess’s bulge caressed Y/N’s genitals so smoothly, a moan escaped the knight’s mouth

-“oh you like it, my knight?”

Princess Kenny asked with a smirk

-“I do, my princess, I really do”

Y/N said breathless

-“why don’t you try it out? I give you permission to touch me”

Princess Kenny whispered in her knight’s ear while reaching for Y/N’s hand

The white gloved hand took Y/N’s hand gently and moved it slowly towards her bulge.

As soon as Y/N’s hand came in touch with the Princess’s clothed dick a sigh escaped from the knight’s mouth

-“mmhmm”

The princess moaned to the touch

Y/N couldn’t help but melt at the sounds that came out of the Princess’s mouth, so in an urge to please the blond royal, Y/N’s hand started to explore the bulge.

Y/N’s fingers gently caressed the clothed bulge while the princess threw her head back in pleasure, wanting to please the princess even more, Y/N’s fingers crawled under the white skirt of her dress and lingered around the elastic of the basketball shorts the princess wore underneath it.

Princess Kenny picked her head up while bitting her lip

-“do it”

Kenny smiled with half opened eyes

-“your wish is my command, my princess”

Y/N said while looking at Kenny in the eye

Y/N’s hand got under Kenny’s shorts and underwear and started to caress the Princess’s soft skin, small moans coming out of the Princess’s mouth.

Slowly Y/N’s fingers made it to the Princess’s dick, stroking it softly at first before holding it. Y/N started to pump it slowly, making the Princess roll her eyes, with each pump Y/N started going faster and faster.

The princess threw her upper body backwards and laid on her forearms while Y/N pumped her firmly, the blond royal kept moaning sweetly while grasping the sheets.

Y/N’s remaining hand started to lift up the Princess’s skirt to be able to see her thick dick, but the princess quickly knelt back up and stopped her lover.

-“No darling, you’ll have to please your princess in another way if you really want to see her in that way”

Princess Kenny said out of breath

-“anything for you, your royal highness”

Y/N said wanting to see Kenny’s hard dick more than anything

The princess stood up and her basketball shorts and underwear fell down to the floor, she offered her knight her gloved hand and Y/N took it and stood up, the princess Kissed Y/N deeply while placing one hand on her knight’s cheek and the other one on the knight’s lower back, pressing her lover close to her. Y/N kissed her back and held the princess by her lower back as well, getting to feel the boy’s spine and skinny body.

Without breaking the kiss, the princess led Y/N back to the bed but she sat at the head of the bed this time, resting her upper body on the wall where a headboard would be if she had one.

Y/N knelt on top of her this time, The princess pulled the skirt of her dress up slightly, letting Y/N know what she wanted, without hesitation Y/N started to kiss the Princess’s cheek, slowly going down to her neck.

The Princess had her hand behind Y/N’s head, stroking her knight’s hair. When the knight got to the Princess’s chest, she pulled the hem of the dress down so her lover could have better access to her nipples. Y/N kissed, licked and sucked the Princess’s nipples before leaving kisses on her chest and moving on to were the princess needed attention.

Caressing the Princess’s knees, Y/N’s hands slowly crawled upwards, lifting princess Kenny’s dress, Y/N kept kissing the Princess’s inner thigh while moving the kisses north.

When Y/N’s lips where as close as they could be to the Princess’s dick, The knight leisurely lifted the dress to uncover Kenny’s thick hard dick.

The gentle brush of the fabric on the Princess’s bare dick made her moan, turning Y/N on even more. When the skirt was all pulled up and Kenny’s dick was out, Y/N couldn’t help but sigh at the view, hurrying to kiss the precum leaking tip, making the Princess’s dick twitch, Y/N licked the dick from the base to the tip slowly and teasingly

-“don’t tease your princess, soldier, do as you’re told”

The princess ordered

Following the Princess’s orders, the royal’s dick was quickly placed inside the knight’s mouth, making Princess Kenny moan, without loosing pace, the knight kept sucking Kenny’s dick while swallowing so the princess could have her dick hardly wrapped around Y/N’s throat.

Y/N’s head kept going up and down while the princess held onto the knight’s hair and gently pushed her lover’s head closer to her so her dick would be fully sucked, this was no easy task for Y/N since Kenny’s dick was so thick and big it barely fit in the knight’s mouth, but Y/N had promised to please the princess, and the princess was not to leave without loading off.

To give the princess more pleasure, Y/N’s head started going up and down every time faster, sucking hard on the Princess’s dick, one of the knight’s hands started to jack off the princess at the base of her dick so Y/N could concentrate on pleasuring the tip, and the other hand started to stroke and slightly grasp her balls. This made Kenny moan in his usual raspy voice, which let Y/N know he was into it.

Going as fast as Y/N could, the Princess’s dick started to twitch, letting the knight know she was close, Princess Kenny had turned into a moaning mess, loud, raspy moans coming out of her mouth while her hands where firmly grasping the knight’s hair, Y/N kept gulping and for the grand finale the knight squeezed the Princess’s balls while massaging them.

Then Princess Kenny came all over her knight’s mouth, the knight swallowed and kissed the Princess’s tip before parting from her gorgeous dick, the princess accelerated breath made Y/N smile proudly

-“did I please you well, my princess?”

Y/N asked while rubbing circles on the Princess’s inner thigh

-“you did excellent, my knight”

The Princess’s body was completely relaxed

Y/N leaned in for a kiss and the princess kissed back.

-“now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go make an announcement”

Princess Kenny said before standing up and walking funnily towards the door

This concerned Y/N a little bit, what was Kenny on? Y/N decided to follow the Princess outside to see what she was about to announce

-“my dear knights…”

Princess Kenny was still out of breath

-“…I would like to announce that from now on Y/N will be the official Princess pleaser and personal knight, thank you”

The princess collapsed on her throne before extending her arm and having a bottle of water handed to her

-“damn Y/N, what did you do to him?” Stan asked with a confused look on his face

-“I just did I was asked to do”

Y/N shrugged

･ﾟﾟ･｡・゜゜・． ✧༺🖤༻ ✧ .・゜゜・｡･ﾟﾟ･

Hope you liked it :) requests are open!!

This short story was inspired by this fanart by @timarty I think

[knife-at-a-knife-fight]

the internet has many great things don’t get me wrong, but i do hate that there’s no option to be privately public anymore. 

Let me explain;  if i want to have a public facing career, then not only is my work considered publicly accessible, but my life is considered to be as well. You can google the height of your prime minister or the shoe size of a celebrity, you can know what stores they shop at and the names of their children and parents. Thus if you have a public facing career, information is either completely top secret or accessible to anyone. 

And as someone in performance, this always greatly concerns me. If you are a minority in performance, then your career is either based off of being part of that minority, or specifically on “damn, i never KNEW they were that minority, they’re not like other people of that minority.” There is no are-they-or-aren’t-they anymore. With visible minorities there is no separation of this, that is inevitable. But if you pass as majority, you have to choose; do i want to be typecast for the rest of my career, or do i want to never represent the community i hold dear to my heart in order to have more opportunities?

if you are trans and an actor, congrats, you are a trans actor, you will be playing trans characters. If you are gay and an actor you are a gay actor, here’s a gay character. if you are autistic and an actor, you are an autistic actor, you play autistic characters.  But majority actors still also get to play these characters; it’s fine when they do it, apparently. Minority can only play minority, majority can play everyone. And that’s... fair?

There is no grey area or privacy, if you do anything in public, it is universally accessible information. You can’t do a drag show one night and then be a straight character on a set the next day. Because there isn’t an option for that drag show to only be known about by the patrons present, the line up for the night almost certainly will be on their socials and their website and anywhere else. It’s not contained within the community like it used to be. So you do the show; you’re now openly queer. If you’re openly queer, you’re getting type cast -> you won’t be playing straight characters all too much longer. 

And if you play a queer character; well then you are going to have to make your sexuality public knowledge. Because everyone and their mother needs to make sure right this instant that a queer role is being given to a queer actor, even though it doesn’t make a lick of difference 99% of the time. So they’ll force you out (consider; Kit Connor) or berate you for playing a queer character and not being queer. There is no “we don’t know” option.

Actors are not their characters. Actors are not their characters. If your character is not a visible minority, why does it matter who plays them? 

And with live performance particularly; not all details need to be existent outside of that space. There are queer theatres that i cannot work with because to do so would be to out myself. You cannot exist in those spaces without being queer and you cannot exist in those spaces without being public facing, and thus to exist there is to be publicly queer. There’s no halfway option. 

It’s a detriment to your career and frankly unsafe much of the time. You can’t be yourself even in moderately private settings because “moderately private” is still public. And public is universally accessible. I can’t do a fringe show playing a dyke without that being universally accessible. I can’t write and direct a show for a school festival without that being universally accessible. There are no closed spaces. There are no niche circles and in groups. 

It’s all or nothing. And while there are activists doing important work to dismantle the barriers that being known as any number of minorities creates within given fields, that doesn’t change that it isn’t always safe elsewhere. “We’ve made it so you can be gay here” but i still can’t be gay elsewhere, and there isn’t an “unknown” option. 

I want to be an out minority in some spaces, and stealth in others. And I don’t want those to contradict. I want to choose how and where I exist.  Because the result is that I have to take into account my safety and career with every detail I share about myself, with every person I may be sharing this. Because if someone says something to the wrong person, or if someone posts something on instagram or facebook, then it can tank my career and I can be in a far less safe position overnight. And as soon as I determined - as soon as I considered - that I wanted a public facing career, then public exploration of anything was removed as an option. 

My career may well never go anywhere, but I have spent much of my life protecting that notion of a career and by selectively refusing to be myself.  There are no safe spaces when all spaces are made public information. 

[softtdaisy]

hello, i love your writings so much! i wanted to request something for tasm! peter with the prompts “You’re the reason that they’re gone!” & “I wish I died back there, because at least then you would have been satisfied.” & “All I’ve ever wanted is for you to see me.” & “Wake up. You have to wake up. Please. For me.” where somehow peter blames reader for gwen's death and they fight but then she almost dies and he regrets it. totally fine if you don't want to do it! these are way too specific :3

JUST A LITTLE BIT OF YOUR HEART

DESCRIPTION I you and peter are dating for a few months now. The problem is, he keeps blaming you for gwen’s death: his ex-girlfriend and your bestfriend.

PAIRING I tasm!peter parker × fem!reader

WORD COUNT I 4k

A/N I Thank you for your kind words they mean the world 🥺 this request was absolutely incredible I think it’s one my favorite fic I ever write. I hope you will like it too!! 🥰 

WARNING I Gwen is dead as you could guess, mention of death and some kind of depression

You never asked for much in love. Or even in general. You accepted things as they come, even when it was hard.

You just wished your boyfriend would love you enough to stop blaming you for his ex-girlfriend death. Especially considering she was your best friend.

You knew Gwen for as long as you could remember. It was like she had always been in your life. You spend all your school years together, from elementary to high school. You did the same things, choose the same options. You were like two inseparable siblings. You couldn’t even count the numbers of pictures you had of you two together. It was [y/n] and Gwen, since forever and until the end of time.

You were so similar that you even managed to have a crush on the same guy. When you met Peter Parker in high school it was obvious to you. He was cool, discrete, and so pretty. Let’s just say that English class became much more interesting the year you were sat next to him. You never said a thing, either to him or to Gwen actually. You were kind of shy about it and pretty sure he would reject you.

When you learned that Gwen also had a crush on him and noticed the way he was looking at her, you accepted they were meant to be together. You let them be. You would never have forgiven yourself for keeping them apart. And from that day, you forgot about your crush on Peter.

You were so happy to hear their stories. You grew closer to Peter when they started dating. You had to; Gwen never left you out of her life even when she was him. “It’s us against the world [y/n]. And Peter Parker will certainly not put us apart.” She kept saying. And she was right. She would always come to you when she needed to.

She told you about Peter’s secret…well she kind of have to. There would never have been a good explanation for Spiderman to come to her room, on a Tuesday night, when you were not in danger; you were studying for a test. But from then, she told you every time she was scared or angry at him for this.

When she lost her dad, you were there. You even slept at her place to make sure she wasn’t alone. You gave Peter some news about her. It was driving you mad they broke up when they were loving each other so much.

When they worked on their friendship, you were the kind of friend that were trying to put them together. “Did you see how he looked at you?” “Girl, he’s absolutely in love with you!” “Peter Parker you better move your ass if you don’t want to lose her.”

Then Gwen got an offer in England.

You would never imagine a world where Gwen Stacy would be dead. To choose, you would rather be gone that waking up every day without your best friend. And you knew Peter was feeling the same.

That was how you got closer.

Grief was a terrible process and it felt good to have someone going through the same thing. You would encourage each other to go on with your life. Peter supported you when you decided to pursue your dream job. And you forced Peter to not give up on his Spiderman suit; he had to think about the number of lives he could save, rather than the one he lost.

You became more and more affectionate. Giving each other hug, sleeping in the same bed when one would have nightmares or just needed someone with them. Naturally, you and Peter started dating. Nobody could understand what you were going through expect for you two. And being together all the time made the feeling grow into love.

Yes, you loved Peter. And Peter loved you. Undeniably.

There was just one problem: Peter was blaming you for Gwen’s death.

For him, it was a butterfly effect: when Gwen told you about her offer in England, you immediately encourage her to accept it. You were her best friend, what were you supposed to do?

If you hadn’t support her, maybe she wouldn’t have accepted it. If she hadn’t, then she wouldn’t had been out that night. If she hadn’t been out, she wouldn’t have died.

For Peter, you were part of her death. If most of the time he worked on that feeling and try to convince himself that it wasn’t that simple, he couldn’t help it. No matter how much he cared about you.

And you knew about it. Because Peter wasn’t the kind of guy to keep those feelings to himself. When he was sad, he would tell you things like “you should never have let her leave.” “You should have prevented her from going to the airport that night.” Those words were like little knifes that he was putting into your skin. They hurt. But you understood he was sad.

You were missing your best-friend too. Of course, you wondered what would have changed if you convinced her to stay one night.

But you knew Gwen. She wasn’t the kind to listen if she had something in mind. She would have left no matter your opinion. You would just have lost her after a bad decision. At least, she gave you the biggest hug before saying goodbye for the last time.

So, when Peter was blaming you, you try to talk to him. Saying that it wasn’t either your fault or his. That was the way life was supposed to go, no matter how hard it was to accept it. If he wasn’t too sad, he would cry in your arms. You would let everything go together before finding something to do to light up the mood.

If he was in a bad mood, he wouldn’t answer or snap back at you. You would let to him the time to find himself back. Then he would make himself up to you with a romantic date or just by saying sorry in his own way.

You accepted to live with that. Nobody was grieving in the same way. It was Peter’s way to go through it. And one day, it will be better.

But not today.

You had an awful day at work. Your colleague made you make some mistakes by giving false information to you. Of course, your boss fall on you and said some awful things you wished you could forget. You just wanted to go home and cry. You decided to go to Peter’s, hoping he would have a good idea to change your mind.

But from the moment you opened the door, you knew it would be…more complicated than excepted.

“Peter? Honey?” You called but didn’t get any answer. It didn’t surprise you, considering the whole apartment was in the dark. You couldn’t see anything, and it was really hard to notice Peter’s figure. You were making small steps, in case there was something on the floor, glasses, books, remotes, your boyfriend…

You finally saw Peter, sitting on his sofa. You immediately noticed he was wearing his suit, except for the mask. And the way he was focusing on the wall made you think something happened today. “Hey…” you said slowly, sitting beside him. You hoped he didn’t hear how broken your voice sounded. But considering he didn’t react to your presence he probably didn’t notice.

You were brushing his arm gently, trying to get something from him. He took him a few minutes before talking. “Someone died. In front of me.” He said with a low and raspy voice. You only heard that voice a couple of times: when Peter had been screaming so hard his voice broke. It happened after Gwen’s death and after bad events. It happened once after a fight you had.

“A stupid car accident. I managed to take everyone out of the car, put them in a safe place. But…there was no signalization. I didn’t hear the other car coming. They didn’t know about the accident. They just crashed and…”

“Shh, it’s ok Pete…” you replied. You put all your issues away and took all Peter’s with you. You slowly put your head on his shoulder, trying to take him in your arms. And it worked.

But only for a few seconds. Peter then pushed you back. “No it’s not!”

You watched him get back on his feet. You could see his hands trembling, a proof of his anger. “It’s not fine to watch people die [y/n]! I don’t care about those who lived. I won’t remember their fucking face. I will remember the face of the guy that looked at me before dying! I will remember his look, his fear!”

“I know you will Peter, I know it’s hard, I just…”

“No, you don’t.” He snapped back. He didn’t want to talk about it. He wouldn’t listen anyway. And you get it, you were no superhero and you never saw someone dying in front of you. So, no, of course you had no idea what he was going through. But you knew there was something more behind that. You just didn’t want to open this door, again.

“I’m just saying…” you tried. From the way Peter turned around to look at you, you knew you just made a mistake.

“Oh, shut up [y/n]” he started. And those four words broke your heart immediately. You needed comfort. You got hurt. It wasn’t what you had planned for the night. “You know nothing. Gwen would have understood.”

Of course, you thought. Of course, he would bring Gwen here. How awful it was that you were constantly haunted by your best friend’s ghost? And you could be mad at no one. You still loved her. And Peter too. You understood why he would talk about her. It didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

it just kept reminding you that Gwen wasn’t here anymore. And that their relationship was better than yours. That was how you felt, and Peter wasn’t helping.

You were getting bored of being compared to her all the time. Yes, you knew she was perfect. But so, you could be. You let go all the sadness and anger you had inside you. “But Gwen is not here anymore Peter!”

The silence that followed your answer was terrifying. Peter looked at you for a good ten seconds before walking to you. You were scared. Never in your life you would have thought you would fear your boyfriend. And certainly not Peter. His eyes were red from all the tears he cried before you arrived. His lips were trembling. And he pointed a finger at you, a finger that was touching your chest. It was like he was putting a knife into your heart.

“You. You’re the reason that they’re gone.” He mumbled against his lips. He never said it like that. He screamed it. He cried it, once or twice. But never did he say it in a menacing way. It looked like he wanted to make you pay for her death. You couldn’t breathe properly. Like some invisible hands were strangling you. You never thought words could be this hurtful.

You stayed silent. Looking at him. Hoping he would realize what he just said and apologized. But it was Peter. And he was angry. So of course, he didn’t. He just kept looking at you too with those threatening eyes. A single tear fell from your eye. But it didn’t change anything. You were not even sure he noticed it.

When you accepted that he wasn’t going to say anything anymore, you took a step back. You couldn’t handle it anymore. You couldn’t be someone’s punching ball. Specially not when this someone was the man you loved with your whole heart, the only person you still had in your life. How come the person that saved you was also the one drowning you with his grudge?

You walked to the door, taking back your bag and your coat that you took off when you arrived. Thinking you would spend the night here with your lover. Not leaving a few minutes after with a broken heart. When you turned your head, you saw that Peter went to the window. A window with no light, the curtain was closed. You had no idea what he was looking at.

You hated loving him so much. Because seeing him like this made you want to run and take him in your arms. But his words kept echoing in your head. You couldn’t let this happen again.

You had to put yourself first this time. You took a big breath, putting your hand on the handle before looking back at him. “You know…” you said. He froze. You saw how his knee stopped moving. “I wish I died back there, because at least then you would have been satisfied.”

Your voice broke at the end. You didn’t wait for an answer. A one you knew wouldn’t come. You just left.

Leaving Peter in silent tears.

You spent the rest of the day crying. You wished you could call Gwen and tell her about your day. You wished Peter would be there for you. You really wished you died instead of her. You wouldn’t have to suffer then.

At some point, you needed to tell Peter what was on your mind. You were not surprised when he didn’t answer. And quite relieved too. You didn’t want to talk to him. You just needed to speak your mind.

“Hi Pete. I’m sorry you’re feeling this feeling. I’m sorry you had a bad day. I’m sorry someone died during your mission, and you couldn’t do anything about it. I know it’s not easy for you and I really wish you would let me be there for you. But you must understand you’re not alone in this. I’m suffering too. I had a fucking bad day too. How would you know? You’re not asking me. You’re never asking me anything. Every day I wake and want to cry when I remember Gwen’s not there. And I know you do too. And I get it. But I can’t do this anymore. I can’t accept my boyfriend behind mean to me for no reason except he’s so sure I killed his girlfriend. You know it’s not my fault and Gwen would have left no matter what. I can’t walk on eggshells all the time because I have no idea if you’re going to be nice or mean to me. I could accept to live with Gwen’s ghost. I could accept that you will always love her. But I can’t accept to be hurt by you this often.” It was getting harder to breath; you knew you were going to break down. You had just one thing to say. “All I’ve ever wanted is for you to see me, Peter...why is it that hard…” You cried. You immediately hung up and threw your phone away.

Peter listened to your message over and over the following days. He never realized how much he was hurting you. He knew you understood but he thought…whatever he thought, he was clearly wrong. He kept replaying your last sentence. It hurt. He deserved to be hurt.

Peter Parker was in love with you. Yes, he still loved Gwen. But she wasn’t there anymore. You were. He had to work on your relationship and on himself if he wanted to keep you in his life.

It took him few days to think about everything; what he wanted to tell you, what he was going to say and mostly, how he was going to explain to you that he didn’t blame anymore. It wasn’t fair to always put you through hell for something like that. He wanted to make things right. To prove you, he was ready to move forward. With you.

So, one evening after work, he decided to go to your place. He brought food from your favorite Italian’s restaurant and a massive bouquet with your favorite flowers. Peter was stressed as if it was your first date. As if you didn’t know each other for years and had no secret. But he was so scared you won’t want him back. He lost Gwen; he couldn’t lose you two.

Peter knocked at your door slowly. “[y/n]?” he called. With no answer on the other hand, he knocked harder, but you still weren’t answering. There were two possibilities: either you weren’t there, or you didn’t want him here. You could be out, he admitted. Even if he had no idea who you could be with. You never spoke about friends from work. And he was pretty sure you weren’t talking to people from high school anymore. Which mean, you probably didn’t want to see him.

“Listen [y/n] …I don’t know if you can hear me or even if you want to. But I wanted to apologize. You’re right. I shouldn’t have acted like that with you, it wasn’t fair. I hope we can talk about it and work on it. I want to make efforts I promise I will. If you just let me… I ordered food. I put it here so you can take it if you want.” Peter gave a kiss on his hand before putting on your door. It was the only way he could kiss you right now.

When he left your building, Peter was desperate. He didn’t what he could do to make you want to see him.

What he didn’t know, was that you went to his apartment to see him too. You couldn’t handle being without him anymore and you were ready to forgive him for everything.

Before he could back to his place, Peter saw on his photo an alert saying there was an accident in the subway. Even if he probably would have gone there no matter out, to save people, Peter ran immediately when he read it. Because it wasn’t any subway.

It was the one connecting your place to his. And Peter suddenly felt that maybe it wasn’t that you didn’t want to see him. You actually did.

When he arrived down there, Peter immediately saw the mess. Two subways collided. He noticed some people managed to escape but somewhere still stuck in. He told those out to go to a safe place. He even helped some going outside. Peter didn’t mind seeing blood, even if it hurt him to imagine these people suffering. But he had to go over it to help them. Some were really hurt, and he had to make efforts to not hurt them even more.

He had saved approximately twenty people and still hadn’t seen you. Peter thought he had panicked for nothing.

Until a saw an arm somewhere he didn’t walk to yet. And it didn’t take him long to recognize your bracelet. He bought it to you on your birthday. It was golden with a little sun in the middle. “Because you’re my sunshine in all this mess [y/n]” he remembered saying when he offered it to you.

Peter immediately ran to you. You were a pretty bad shape. He was sure most of the blood you had on you were from others. You didn’t seem to have any cut. “Please, don’t…” he said while taking your head in his hands. You opened an eye and couldn’t help but smile when you recognized him. “Peter…” you said in a low voice. Even saying one word took you too many efforts.

“I’m so sorry please you have to stay with me…” he was crying behind his mask. He couldn’t even move, too scared to leave you in case you couldn’t handle the pain. He was caressing your cheek gently, but he could see how keeping your eyes open was hard. “No, [y/n] please no…” Right when you closed your eyes, the paramedics came in.

“Take them! Take them immediately!” He said in a voice that he didn’t even recognize. He probably scared them, but he didn’t care. If he could, he would take you himself. But he had no idea how badly hurt you were. So, he just watched them taking care of you. Hoping he would see you again.

Peter went to the hospital as soon as he could. All they could tell him was that you were still sleeping. And they explained your injuries to him, but Peter couldn’t care less about them. You were alive. Right?

“We still don’t know if they’re going to wake up Mister Parker.” The nurse told him with a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Peter spent all his days and nights by your side. Spiderman could go to hell; he would not leave you until you open your eyes again. “Wake up. You have to wake up. Please. For me.” He kept pleading you. He was crying all the time. His voice didn’t sound like it used to. His pleading sounded more desperate each day.

He didn’t want to lose you. Without you, he had nothing.

Without you, he was nothing.

You wake up five days after the accident. Ten days after your fight.

When you opened your eyes, Peter was sleeping. You were the one who pushed the button to call someone. You had a few memories of the subway crashing but none after that. You could be dead you wouldn’t know it.

When the nurses arrived, they brought Peter out of the bedroom to his biggest disappointment. But they wanted to make sure you were alright. And you were. Your injuries were just hurting him but nothing unusual for someone who almost died.

When Peter came back to your room, he was crying. “Pete, I’m fine!” you said immediately, hoping it would be reassuring him. Instead, your boyfriend ran to you and hugged you like he never did. You didn’t dare telling him he was pressing on your bruised rib. “Hey, it’s okay love…” your voice was low, like it was when you were calming down. But it didn’t work. You could hear his sobs against you, and it was breaking your heart. Had you missed anything while you were sleeping?

Peter looked back at you, and you were not sure you had ever seen him this broken since Gwen’s death. “No, it’s not ok. You almost die because I was selfish. I didn’t saw you were trying to accept Gwen’s death too and I kept blaming you for this because it was easier than accepting it was just fate. I didn’t see your love and how much you cared for me and…you almost died because I said some awful shit and…” You stopped by planting a sweet kiss on his lips. You never had such a broken kiss. His lips were trembling against yours, just like his hands that were cupping your face.

“This accident is not your fault; I didn’t almost die because of you Pete.” You said, putting your forehead against his. “And for the rest…we both must make efforts. We are both broken. But we are in love too. We can work this out, right?”

Peter was nodding. But you could see he wasn’t sure of himself. “But I hurt you [y/n]…” he sounded like a child that made a huge mistake. You couldn’t disagree. You were hurt. But being in Peter’s arms was the best feeling in the world. And you could see he had understood your issue.

“And I’m not planning on leaving you for that. If you promise to work on your anger.” He kissed you in a way to promise you he would make this work. You were the one he wanted. And he would make all the efforts in the world.

In the end, you knew you would never be the only person in Peter’s heart. Gwen would always be there, and she deserved it.

But you knew you were the one he wanted for life. And it was enough.

[stuff-from-the-void-matron]

Laurel Wreaths & Animal Teeth (9)

(c!technoblade x fem!reader)

(so people showed they liked chapter 8 well enough so I wrote chapter 9! also how miffed would everyone be if... this was also maybe a dreamxd x reader fic? like idk i’m just having some persuasive thoughts. also don’t forget to show this chapter some love or I won’t have the motivation to do chapter 10! reblogs and comments are the best! <3)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wilbur did not like this ‘Reader’ person. God she was just as bad as Quackity, coming into L’manberg and making demands and acting like they even HAD a say in HIS country. Now more than ever he wished he’d have just exiled Quackity instead of humoring him with this ridiculous election. There shouldn’t BE an election. HE was the rightful president of this country! He fought and died for this country. Put his blood, sweat, and tears into it! HIM! Not them! 

“-ur?”

This whole election thing was a mistake. He should have just listened to his gut.

“ilbur?”

But he’d been pressured by everyone to ‘be fair’ or whatever. Nobody knew what was best for L’manberg but HIM. 

“Wilbur!”

The curly brunet jolted a bit at the sudden shout to his left, he blinked and felt himself unfurrow his eyebrows before looking over at his vice president. Said teenager was looking at him curiously, eyebrows raised in a questioning way. No doubt wondering what his friend was doing just standing there silently and chewing on his thumbnail like a madman. He was still tense but gave a quick ‘sorry’ before saying he was just lost in thought.

Tommy gave a semi awkward laugh and joked that it looked like he was trying to catch the wall he was staring at on fire just by staring at it. Wilbur gave a polite chuckle at the younger man’s attempt at mood lightening humor before sobering instantly and saying in a deadly serious tone that had the blond stiffening up anxiously,

“I don’t like this ‘Reader’ person you’ve been hanging out with Tommy. She seems really judgmental and arrogant. Not to mention her attitude. She’s argumentative and childish. She very clearly doesn’t care about you or L’manberg.”

That last part hit Tommy right in the chest like the blow from a size 12 boot. How could Wibur say that? You did care! You did! You wouldn’t have-.. People who don’t care wouldn’t-.. 

Tommy’s hurt showed on his face, making Wilbur sigh in sympathy before clapping the younger boy on the shoulder and saying that it would be best for him to just focus on the L’manberg election. This Reader person was just serving as a distraction from Tommy’s job as vice president anyways. And Tommy didn’t want that, right? Wilbur had entrusted him to be his VP over everyone else. He couldn’t slack on that, right? Tommy just gave a mumbled ‘yeah, s’pose not’ but it was clear he didn’t have his heart in it, though that was all the affirmation Wilbur needed to think the conversation was over..

-0-

You sat in the audience with Tubbo and Fundy for a bit while the candidates talked to each other up on the stage. Fundy seemed sweet, if not a bit mischievous. Though you supposed that should be expected from a fox hybrid. You smiled when his ears went back after you asked why his uniform was a lighter color than the others, unable to not think he looked adorable. But when he huffed, pretty obviously upset but trying not to show it, you frowned. And you pursed your lips when he explained that it was in ‘baby colors’ because Wilbur thought it would be cute for his ‘little champion’ to have a different uniform compared to everyone else.

You couldn’t help but awkwardly ask, “Aren’t you an adult though?” To which Fundy gave a slightly loud and exasperated, “YES!” that made you feel sorry for the poor hybrid. You gave him a reassuring look and said that well if he didn’t like the uniform then he didn’t have to wear it. Or if he liked it save for the color then just dye it darker to match the others. Fundy looked a bit put out and replied that he’d thought about dying it or just not wearing it but then his dad would be all depressed and hurt. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes and say that he shouldn’t set himself on fire to keep others warm.

“You don’t have to do whatever your dad wants you to just because he’s your dad or cuz he’ll be sad. You’re an adult now Fundy. It’s time you make decisions for yourself in mind, not your dad.”

Fundy started up at you with wide eyes, like he’d never heard anyone tell him that before. Which was worrying but you put it out of your mind before continuing,

“Caring about others is important, yes. But you can’t let yourself be miserable just to avoid maybe making your dad sorta bummed out. That doesn’t seem fair to you.”

Tubbo chimed in from his spot to your left and said that the uniform was a symbol of their independence from the Dream Smp, they wore it to show they were loyal to L’manberg. He didn’t say it accusingly or even angrily, just in a factual matter-of-fact way. You said that might be true but then asked why Fundy’s uniform was different? Shouldn’t they all look the same if they supposedly stood for the same thing? If they’re meant to have a deeper meaning then they shouldn’t be altered for a joke. You said he had to see how that would make Fundy feel left out. You asked how Tubbo would feel if he were the only one with a different uniform and stood out. The brunet boy’s goatish ears drooped and he mumbled that he’d be sad. You ruffled his hair and turned back to Fundy.

“Look Fundy, if you wanna keep wearing the uniform as it is, that’s fine. If you wanna wear it but only after altering the color, that’s also fine. But if you wanna drop the uniform altogether then that’s fine too. It’s up to you, Fundy.”

Fundy looked contemplative, like he’d never thought he’d had a choice in the matter. But here he was with three whole options thanks to you. He honestly wasn’t sure which one he’d end up choosing, he had a lot to think about. But he gave you a grateful little smile and soft ‘thanks’ that made the corners of your lips quirk up. Though your chat soon came to an end when Fundy saw Niki approaching. He and Tubbo waved happily to her and gestured for her to come over. She stared up at you with mostly hidden surprise and said hello before Fundy introduced you both. Niki looked almost shy as she gave a short wave up to you. You chuckled and greeted her warmly and said you liked her uniform, pointing out hers was a different color than the others, like Fundy’s. She looked down at her blue version of the L’manberg uniform and flashed a grin and said,

“Yeah, I just liked the lighter blues better than the bright red and navy.”

You brightened and gently tapped Fundy’s shoulder with the back of your hand and cheerfully pointed out that if Niki could choose to alter her uniform from the original she was given then he should be able to do the same no problem. His ears twitched happily and he grinned, showing off his canines and nodding. This led Niki to asking him what you meant and him explaining he wasn’t happy with how his uniform was dyed. She agreed with you, if he wasn’t happy then he should change the color. But she joked that he should avoid any bright greens… Fundy let out a bark of laughter before Niki gasped and pointed out they, as in she and Fundy, had to go get ready. Tubbo raised an eyebrow and asked if they were still planning on running in the election. Fundy sighed and said yes, like he’d been giving that same answer repeatedly. He probably had been, sadly.. 

“Oh, you’re both running for president and vice president?” You asked good naturedly. 

Fundy nodded, waiting for you to give some kind of remark about him running, or how it was against his dad, or something else. But instead you just flashed him an encouraging smile and wished him and Niki good luck. You glanced at the fox hybrid and the blonde next to him before nodding and commenting that they both looked smart, with good heads on their shoulders. You thought they’d do just fine. Fundy’s tail was wagging from the genuine encouragement, making Niki giggle a little. The two did actually have to go get ready, so you and Tubbo said good luck and waved them off before chatting about this and that. The election speeches would be starting soon..

-0-

He was watching her again. 

He couldn’t help it. He’d started watching her just to ensure she wasn’t going to pose a threat to the server, but the more he watched her the more he started to actually enjoy it. She was like him and Drista, maybe not exactly, but more than anyone else on the server. But at the same time she was so incredibly different. Seeing her interact with villagers and mobs and now players was intriguing. She was so much more powerful than all of them combined, but she had no trouble blending in like she was just another player. End sake, most of them even seemed to gravitate towards her!

The only other time he’d seen a deity blend in so well with mortals was… Dream. But he tried not to think about that too much.

His currently invisible form phased through the building he’d been lurking beside, going up until he had a better view of the seats in the audience by the stage. He watched her and the small hybrid boy she’d endeared herself to bid a fox hybrid and blonde girl goodbye before taking their seats. He watched her sit and talk happily with the brown haired boy so easily. He wanted to learn to do that. It may be foolish but he wants to be like her. Happy, open, accepted, loved. He’s powerful, yes. He’s the most powerful being on this server without a doubt. But… it gets lonely. Sure Drista is around sometimes but she sleeps so often, preferring her dream world more than the waking one. And Dream… well that’s complicated. 

His brother and him have a… tense relationship after the whole ‘falling from grace’ debacle that happened so long ago. Dream barely speaks to him anymore. Actually the last time they’d spoken face to face was after that silly little war Dream had been in not too long ago. He’d told him that he just wanted to sleep afterwards. At the time he didn’t bother to involve himself in the daily lives of the server’s players like Dream did so he wasn’t exactly sure of the intricacies of the whole ‘disagreement’ that led to the fighting. But according to Dream some players wanted to govern themselves because drugs? It all sounded utterly stupid to him so he just sort of didn’t absorb any of the details Dream was complaining about. To him it seemed like the more involved with the players Dream got the more stressed out and tired he became. Though he hadn’t spoken to Dream since their last talk when Dream had vented about all of this. 

‘Perhaps I should visit my brother soon,’ the floating entity thought with a hum before he faded from the realm, drifting back to the End.

-0-

Some time had passed and during it you chatted with Tubbo casually, idly noting all the people who started to trickle into the seats around you. You recognized most in one way or another. Some more than others. Like you’d watched a good deal of the ‘main characters’ on the dsmp. And while you knew the names and skins of the lesser involved players you didn’t watch their videos much. Like Callahan, Punz, and Ponk. You knew the bare bones info about them. In fact most of what you knew was from clips and animatics you’d seen on youtube..

You tuned back into the election, watched from the front row as the rally began. It looked like Quackity was going first, alone too it seemed since George was nowhere to be found. Apparently he was ‘too busy being gorgeous’ to bother showing up. You pursed your lips when you noticed Quackity was sounding a touch nervous at first. Which you could understand, speaking in front of a crowd was always tough. Especially if you’re not really used to it, which even then you’d heard that public speakers said they never truly got rid of the jitters going out in front of a crowd causes. So you sent some good vibes to Quackity, he may not be the one you necessarily want winning this election but.. well you don’t want him to embarrass himself either. But it turns out he.. didn’t do great but didn’t bomb either. It didn’t help that the others running were making little comments through his speech. 

He spoke about caring about the people of L’manberg and how his endorsement was KSI, despite the fact KSI hadn’t replied back to him. Not a great start. Also Jesus Christ himself apparently. That had actually made you laugh a little. And you laughed louder when you heard the chime to signify you’d gotten a message, only in multiple around you. Turns out everyone had gotten a message from Dream on the main channel. 

<Dream> god endorses swag2020

Quackity laughed, cheering loudly while Wilbur rolled his eyes and Tommy sighed. Then it was Pog2020’s turn to show off their endorsements. The first of which being Vikkstar it seemed. You couldn’t help but think it was so surreal to see these… well normal people from real life being canon characters in the Dream SMP universe… apparently. Well that seemed to make the crowd go wild in disbelief and amusement while Tommy pounded his fist on the podium triumphantly while Wilbur cheered. After that Wilbur shoved Tommy aside so he could speak into the podium and said he also brought in an endorsement. And then he introduced…. Schlatt. You wanted to facepalm so bad. You’d actually forgotten this part from the videos. It had totally slipped your mind that Wilbur was the reason Schlatt even knew about the damn election in the first place. 

And to top it off the man was clearly drunk or at least hungover. He didn’t even seem to know where the hell he was. Idly you wondered when he got unbanned by Dream as you watched the messages from Schlatt roll through on the message system. It was mostly him asking where the fuck he was and if the ‘big fuckin’ wall’ he was next to was the Great Wall of China. You facepalmed and heard Tommy say he was going to go fetch him. Quackity was laughing and saying one of their endorsements was ‘some old man’, and you rolled your eyes because little duck boy was gonna be engaged to that ‘old man’ soon.. But you kept that tidbit to yourself. Though when Quackity called the ram hybrid ‘babe’ and he said to not call him that, making Quackity laugh you raised an eyebrow, figuring they were already together! Nonchalantly you wondered how much stuff you’d missed.

And then came the yelling.

Schlatt started rambling about how democracy was overrated and he didn’t ‘need a president’, how he’d be his own president. All while Tommy and Wilbur tried to talk over him and get him off the stage. Then he started shit talking Quackity, asking everyone if they really wanted HIM to be their president. Then he went on a tangent about how Quackity’s vice president ‘stole his woman’, which just caused everyone to laugh, even you. You have to admit, the man was funny if nothing else. Made you wish he wasn’t an alcoholic drug using abusive asshole. Blah Blah Wilbur stole his heart, blah blah Coconut 2020, etc that you were half listening to.

About then is when Tommy, still laughing at this whole debacle, glanced down and noticed you and Tubbo sitting in the front row. He gave a bright grin and waved to you both, to which you both smiled and waved back. This little interaction somehow managed to catch Schlatt’s attention, even through his booze addled ramblings. He just stopped mid sentence and stumbled over to Tommy and asked that the fuck he was even doing. Tommy gave an awkward laugh and said he was just waving hello to his friends. Schlatt gave him a ‘wtf’ look and scanned the crowd for who the blond boy was talking about. His horizontal oval pupils finally landed on Tubbo, making the boy give a slightly stiff wave to the older male. Schlatt stared at the boy for almost a full 20 seconds, making Tubbo sweat nervously. 

You could almost tell yourself that you saw a flash of recognition in the goat hybrid’s eyes, but before you could blink it was gone and he was instead turning to look at you. Your eyebrows lowered as his gaze perked up and a grin you’re not above describing as ‘sleazy’ crossed his features. His eyes raked over your form, making you give him an unamused look. Schlatt leaned over to Tommy, missing how the teen sorta leaned away from him, and asked who ‘the baddie with the fat ass’ was. Tommy grimaced and replied saying for the other man to not say something so gross. 

“That’s Reader, don’t say nasty shit about her man!”

Schlatt laughed and told the younger man to not be such a little bitch, he had to see how hot this woman was! The hair, the horns, the ASS! Before Schlatt could continue to make lewd comments about your person Quackity smacked him with a golden carrot and started cursing him out in Spanish. While the two argued Wilbur went up to the microphone and said that the ACTUAL people running were going to be going into the White House to have a little chat and they’d be right back. Then he and Tommy ran off, Quackity, Schaltt, Niki, and Fundy hot on their heels. Leaving the stage totally empty. Everyone in the audience gave each other side glances before looking up when you stood from your chair and headed to the podium. 

Tubbo blinked in surprise before hopping up and following after you, calling your name and asking where you were going. You ruffled his hair and said you just wanted to say one thing to everyone in attendance. He hummed and followed after you, curious to see what you were up to. You knew the outcome of the election, sadly, and didn’t think there was any way to change it really. But you wanted to impart some wisdom onto the citizens of L’manburg really quick before all those dorks came back after finishing their nonsense. So you sat down on the stage, legs hanging over the side by the podium, and grabbed the mic and sighed before saying to the crowd down below,

“Listen up everyone. I’m not part of the other campaigns or anything, but I wanted to just say something real quick to all of you.”

The crowd watched you with rapt attention, wondering who on the SMP you were. You started off with a light chuckle, saying you’d never been a public speaker so if you started rambling and not making a ton of sense then that was why. Then you took a breath and just said what was on your mind.

“I’m not here to endorse anyone or try to convince you to vote for this or that person. I just wanted to say that despite all the shenanigans going on today that this is actually supposed to be pretty serious. Goofing off aside, you all are going to be voting for the person in charge of your country. The person tasked with ensuring you are all safe and cared for. Being president is a big responsibility. One that shouldn’t be taken lightly.”

You looked at each person in the crowd, lots you knew OF but didn’t know personally. But you made sure to tell them what you thought a president should be.

“Being president shouldn’t be about having glory or power. It should be about working to make sure all your citizens are safe, happy, and above all; THRIVING. If the citizens are miserable or not being heard then the president has failed. So I want you all to think hard about who you want to vote into office. Who do you think will honestly care for your needs as a country? Who will defend you and ensure you’re all living your best lives?”

The crowd seemed to be listening to you, none of them had interrupted you anyways. And Tubbo was smiling, having apparently thought you’d done a good job speaking. But you heard the sound of approaching voices and sighed again. You’ve been sighing a lot today, but that’s not really a surprise is it? Instead of dwelling on it you conclude your speech with a simple,

“Just keep in mind who you’re voting for, because you’re going to be stuck with them for the next few years.”

Then you placed the microphone back on the podium and grabbed Tubbo around the waist, and to the boy’s shock you jumped down from the roughly 8 block high stage. He let out an involuntary high pitched yelp of shock that was abruptly cut off when you both landed on the ground unharmed. He blinked then started laughing, which made you begin to snicker. He shoved your shoulder and called you a bastard for freaking him out. You just teased him for even thinking you’d let him get hurt. He changed the subject when everyone saw Schlatt coming over, though you could tell he was happy to hear you cared. But the moment was over once Schlatt stumbled into the audience, looking more than a little out of it. He hobbled over to the bed Tommy had put down for him before he’d gone on stage and collapsed down onto it, for some reason in mismatched armor and clutching carrots. You had no idea where he got any of that stuff because he’d shown up with nothing but the suit on his back you thought.

But then Wilbur, Tommy, and Schlatt all came back from wherever they’d been while talking. And it didn’t look like they’d come to any peaceful resolution, though you’re not surprised. And you’re even further unsurprised when Quackity announced he was going to be pooling his votes with Schlatt. But that right now the debate was over and they just had to let the voting go on until the next day. So with that Wilbur ended the rally and bid everyone a pleasant rest of their day. And soon everyone had dispersed, leaving Tubbo and you waiting by the stairs that led up to the stage. Tommy walked down with Wilbur, the older of the two looking pensive. But as you all walked down the main path it seemed Wilbur was deep in thought. You watched him while Tommy and Tubbo chatted, but as the cobble path turned to wood the older brunet said he’d see them tomorrow and walked off to who knows where.

Then Tubbo gave you and Tommy a secretive glance and said to follow him, which you both did without complaint. That’s when the brown haired boy started saying he’d been ‘hoping for the best but planning for the worst’. Tommy asked what he was going on about, ‘planning for the worst’?? So Tubbo explained that he’d made a little thing for if things went bad. That’s when you noticed he was leading you both far from the main area and towards the edge of the L’manberg territory by one of the border walls. And there hidden under the water thanks to some craft sign placement was a hidden entrance into a secret tunnel. All of which led to a bunker. Tommy was in disbelief at the sight, frantically asking his best friend when the hell he’d even had time to make this! Tubbo just gave a vaguely cryptic reply of, “I don’t sleep.” Which you scolded him for. You placed a hand on his head and rocked it back and forth a little roughly and said he was a growing boy who needed sleep! 

“Sleep is when your body grows! If you don’t sleep you’ll be short forever!” You huffed.

That made Tommy burst out into borderline hysterical laughter while Tubbo shouted in outrage. You laughed a little and easily blocked the hits Tubbo was weakly trying to land on you. But once they both settled down Tubbo actually showed off the supplies, like potions and such, he’d prepared for Tommy and Wilbur should anything go sour. Tommy, still shocked but appreciative, thanked his friend and said they should go tell Wilbur. They asked if you wanted to come or if you’d like to sleep for the night. You just shrugged and said you weren’t really tired. But you told them THEY needed sleep however. 

They groaned but you shushed them and made them go back to their place and sleep. They said they didn’t have a bed for you but you just pulled out a book and said you’d read by the fire until it was time to read the election results. They complained that they weren’t tired but you hushed them and said you could see how they were more sluggish compared to how they’d been that morning. And after some weak whining they eventually gave in and placed their beds down, took their armor off, and crawled under the blankets. Meanwhile you sat by the furnace, book in hand and hummed to yourself softly as you read. The two boys fell asleep faster than usual, chalking it up to the busy day they had. Not thinking to link it to feeling safe as they laid in bed.

-0-

It felt like barely an hour had passed before the sun was creeping up over the horizon. You’d finished going through the enchantment book forever ago, and it sat on your lap while you stared down at the fire in the furnace. You wondered when the election results would be read out and breathed in slowly, feeling tired but not physically. With nothing else to do you got busy making some breakfast. Just something simple, eggs with toast. But it worked to wake the two boys up, the smell of the fresh food rousing them to the land of the living. They practically devoured the breakfast before slipping their armor on and saying they should go now. It was a decent time to start the day. So they led you along to Wilbur, who had been in the midst of leaving his ball house. The two boys said they had something secret to tell him, and he actually hadn’t wanted to talk ‘government topics’ with you around. You rolled your eyes behind your mask but agreed to go wait by the stage until they were done.

So you sat alone in the audience, watching people slowly arrive as you did. Ponk was the first, his signature fire colored mask and lab coat(?) revealing who he was. Then right after was HBomb, dressed almost like a pirate for some reason? Or maybe he was a referee? He was in black and white stripes with a headband so you’re unsure, could go either way. And then Punz with his stylish white hoodie and gold chain. Then you saw Niki coming down to greet Eret. He was in full netherite and nobody gave her a second glance which sorta surprised you. They’d betrayed everyone hadn’t he? You admit you don’t know much about her. But they seem to be on good terms with Niki at any rate. Regardless he stood to the side, not really sitting with anyone. So maybe things weren’t as gucci as you thought. You were distracted from thinking about it as a man in a L’manberg uniform and headset arrived. Jack Manifold you think. Walking past him was George and Dream. 

You narrowed your eyes at Dream, something about him felt off? Which was weird considering you’d never met the man in person before so you’re not sure how you could tell if he was ‘off’ or not. But something about him was just… weird. Maybe it was the hood and mask obscuring his entire upper body save for some dirty blond hair poking out from said hood. Or maybe how his body moved fluidly like a person but… it also didn’t seem to be in the right proportions. His arms and legs felt a teeny bit too long while his torso seemed shorter than it should be. 

‘Maybe it’s the cut of the hood and pants making it look that way..’ you thought to yourself.

Wilbur speaking suddenly caught your attention, and when you looked up at the stage you saw all the candidates standing there while Tubbo was hurrying over to the seat you’d saved for him next to you. Seemed they were starting now. The little goat hybrid gave you a nervous smile before focusing on the results. Wilbur started reading but paused to ask Tommy why he was standing with his own mic, and then said he should be standing behind him. You watched them bicker a second before Wilbur gave in and let Tommy stand with his own mic. You smiled and shook your head fondly when Tommy gave a silent cheer for himself ‘winning’ that one. Once that was done Wilbur began explaining what was going to happen. They weren’t just reading off the results, they were also going to be inaugurating the winner as president. And then explained how the new president would make a decree and how the first decree was very important.

“My fellow L’manbergians, and by that I mean Ponk, HBomb, and Tubbo. And the others in the crowd as well, including Tommy’s tall friend…” he said while gesturing to you. 

Tubbo loudly cheered for Wilbur, making Tommy and Quackity laugh. You giggled a little at his antics but mostly kept silent to hear. Wilbur announced he had the election results in his hands, then held up an envelope and continued by reading off the four competing parties: POG2020, SWAG2020, COCONUT2020, and SCHLATT2020. And there had been a total of 220,000 votes. This of course confused everyone and Quackity pointed out there were barely 10 people in the audience, so how had so many votes been cast. Wilbur let out a tired sigh and elaborated, saying he’d accidentally opened the vote… to all the other servers when he’d broadcasted the election live…

Everyone started kicking up a fuss, some upset strangers from other servers were weighing in on a server they weren’t even a part of while others found this all hysterically hilarious. Wilbur settled the crowd down and explained there’d been some voter fraud as well, but he’d gotten rid of all the votes that had come from the same communicator protocol. But then he pointed out that all the fraud votes were only voting for one party.. then stared directly at Fundy and Niki. They glanced away from everyone else and Quackity said through laughter that they should be disqualified. Tommy agreed and said there was only one coder in the Coconut2020 party.. But Wilbur sighed when Fundy was silent before saying diplomatically that they should count all the votes regardless of their CP address… Everyone started laughing until Wilbur shushed them and started actually reading off the results, finally.

“In last place is Coconut2020 with 5%,” Fundy and Niki cheered for the votes they did get. Tommy gave them a slightly sarcastic congratulations while Quackity cackled. Then Wilbur continued,

“Then in second to last place with 9% is Schlatt2020…” That was actually surprising to everyone since Schlatt was a very charismatic guy on most fronts and usually never had issues with luring people to his side.

The current president turned to look at Quackity and George then glanced at Tommy and said that the two final running parties were Pog2020 and Swag2020, and coming in third place was…. Swag2020 with 22%. And Pog2020 with 31%. Tommy’s eyes went wide and he practically screamed his joy, nearly tripping backwards in his excitement. He rushed up to Wilbur and demanded to know if they’d won, and when Wilbur said they did Tommy missed the rest of the statement telling him to wait. The blond boy was too thrilled to stop and listen and without thinking he yelled down to you,

“MUM I WON THE ELECTION! WE WON!!” practically bouncing off the stage. 

You gave him a grin, mentally cooing over him calling you mom and not even noticing but inside your stomach was churning as you waited for the other boot to drop.. And after Wilbur calmed Tommy he made clear that Quackity and Schlatt had made a deal to pool their votes. Meaning together they had 31% as well. Meaning it’s a tie. This caused an uproar between the parties, everyone seemingly arguing while you puzzled over it being a tie! That hadn’t happened originally… But it was Niki who quieted everyone and pointed out something rather jarring…

“All four of our votes only equal up to be 67%... there’s a chunk of votes missing!”

Everyone was silent before George barked out a ‘what the hell?!’ that made everyone start arguing again. Schlatt was insisting that Wilbur counted them wrong while Quackity demanded they be recounted. Meanwhile Wilbur adamantly said he’d counted right and they were wrong. It took Tommy snatching the slip of paper out of his hand that had the election results typed out on them to get Wilbur to stop shouting. As Tommy read the list of results he mentally counted up the percentages and frowned before saying Niki was right, that was only like 67%! But then Fundy chimed in and asked what was written on the back. Confused Tommy turned the paper over and his eyes went wide. He was in shock and spoke in a normal tone, which just got drowned out by everyone. Seeing he was being ignored he shouted,

“OI! DICKHEADS! You missed the ‘other’ section of the votes!”

That grabbed Wilbur’s attention easily, he’d forgotten all about the ‘other’ voting option. And hadn’t even known anything was written on the back of the slip of paper. He ripped it out of Tommy’s grasp and rushed to read the back, his voice getting more subdued as he spoke…

“With the most votes at 33% is…. Reader..”

---

@salinesoot @lady-bee-fechin @kacchasu @putridjoy @lunawritesstories @galaxypankitty3030 @paradigmax @zachariethememerie @killmewithafanfic @trinity-1002107 @hufflepuff-demigod @truthdaze @exorcisms-with-elmo @redbloodtea @heythereimhaylz @olyink @jackalopedoodles @nikkineeky @artsimatsu @hufflepuff-demigod @corpiet @beepa99 @anxiousnarwhale @bananaaddictmilkshake @realitycanbeajerk @lostandsouciant

[diavolosthots]

Hey Queen! Beautiful Queen whom I love and adore! <3 It's me! Your bitch! That bitch! I was just thinking like, some wholesome Belphie is very much needed everywhere and for everyone. Like, MC is feeling super cuddly and stuff and they go to Belphie and it's just super fluffy and super cute, and really sweet - @belphies-cuhm-sluht <3

I scrolled until I found your request because I know you need it and I hope you feel better soon, cutie @belphies-cuhm-sluht

Cow Pillow (BELPHEGOR X GN!READER)

It used to be that sleeping your life away felt almost like a sin, like it wasn’t allowed. There was a time for sleeping and there was a time for doing things and out of 24 hours in a day, only eight could be spent resting or you’d feel guilty. Maybe it’s the work drive in you or maybe it’s the feeling of endless guilt that makes you feel like you have to prove yourself by doing things, more things, and definitely things done better than by others. Maybe it’s also because too many people called you lazy throughout your life so you vowed to never be lazy, somewhat neglecting your own self to prove to others that you were worth it. Who cares if you suffered, as long as everyone else was happy with you, right? 

But throughout the years you found loopholes in that. They’re not even loopholes, but to you it makes more sense, and it makes you feel less guilty, rather than outright admitting that you like being lazy. These loopholes range from things like “I have spring allergies so I need some more rest…” to “well, it’s technically not due until the 25th…” to “People deserve love and affection and cuddling is my preferred type. It’s necessary to be loved in order to function.” All of these are valid all on their own, and yes, all of them are considered valid reasons, but it still makes you feel guilty admitting that, so you call them loopholes. Life’s loopholes to make you feel a little less shitty about something that’s, in all actuality, completely normal. 

Today’s ‘loophole’ however, was actually something new to you, kind of. It was rainy and storming; the perfect weather to kick back and just relax. Maybe read a book so you couldn’t call yourself completely lazy. After all, reading does challenge the brain and as long as you’re stimulating some part of yourself, whether that be mental or physical, it’s okay, right? It totally counts. But you also had someone with you that’s… the complete opposite of you and he lured you in. He lures you into the deep depths of laziness that you’re unsure you’ll ever be able to get out of once you’re in them. It’s almost creepy how he does it, too, without even lifting a finger. Without a worry in his mind. Without… trying. 

Belphegor didn’t care what people thought and somewhere, you admired him for that. He made it seem so easy. So what, he sleeps for 36 hours straight and no one bats an eye. If they do, he just avoids them. He doesn’t even pretend to give them the time of day and he’s explained it to you many times before. “Why would I worry about people I will never have to deal with, ever? Now that’s tiresome.” and it made sense. It would be tiresome to constantly think about how other people view you, don’t you think? Belphegor himself is hated by some, neutral for many, and loved by few, but he doesn’t care. The few people that love him, love him a whole lot and that’s all it takes for him. Maybe it’s also easier for him because that’s his avatar. Maybe. He does wonder how you do worry so much, though, because to him, that is crazy. 

He actually made it a point to influence you as much as he can just because you’re almost as bad as Lucifer when it comes to getting stuff done and besides the fact that it’s, in his eyes, annoying, he also doesn’t want someone as interesting as you to end up with Lucifer. What’s that supposed to be? Wanna-be dad and step-parent? The last thing he needs is for the person he’s interested in to call him son. No thank you. Anyway, he made it a point to enter your dreams and drag them out a little bit (a lot) longer than they’d usually have. The small “oh my God I slept through my alarm!” that he heard the first few times had him laughing, but also thinking about how adorable it is. “You worry too much…” is what he’d mumble in his own sleepy voice. 

Now it’s gotten to a point where he openly talks to you in your dreams and you willingly drag things out with him, but when you try to do the same in the actual world? He pretends to be asleep. Not because he doesn’t like talking to you, but he just feels more comfortable when he’s somewhat in control and can remove himself from the situation if need be, you know? That’s why he keeps his distance. He did openly admit that to you, though, and that’s fine. At least you know where he stands and that he doesn’t hate you. However, today you just… you just can’t wait until you fall asleep and until he enters your mind. It’s raining outside and you feel somewhat lonely. You’re in need of company and he’s your favorite type of company, even if you mainly hang out together in your mind. So today, you decided to just go into his room and join him. The worst he can do is say no, right? 

But he didn’t even do that. As a matter of fact, he didn’t even realize you entered until you stood in front of him and in all honesty, he didn’t even fully register that either. It’s more like… he realizes he’s not alone but he’s also not awake and he definitely doesn’t care enough to open his eyes. “Hm?” You were already whispering his name, explaining awkwardly that you just needed to cuddle. “Cuddle…” he just repeated the last word, rolling over onto his back and for a moment you feared he didn’t even recognize a thing you just said. “Okay… come here then.” “Hm? Are you sure? I can leave again Belphie…” Maybe you should take this day to do something productive? Everyone else will already be lazy so one person should do something, right? 

“Yes, come here. Lay down so I can lay on you.” He’s still not opening his eyes, only scooting back for you to join him on his bed and then waiting. You can either join or leave again and he doesn’t really care which option you choose. Except he does. He just won’t admit it if you choose wrong. “O...okay… yeah. I’m already here.” And you really, really would like to cuddle with him, after all. You laid down beside him, carefully, trying to respect his boundaries but also trying to remember that he did want to lay on you so should You lay on your back? “Oh… oh yeah okay this is fine.” You couldn’t even ask him because the minute he felt the bed dip, he moved back closer to you and curled into your side, placing his head on your chest and wrapping his arm around you. 

“Is this okay? Belphie?” He only hummed in response, nuzzling into you, and you carefully wrapped your arms around him too. It felt nice. Really nice, and you found yourself relaxing almost immediately, although you did blame it on Belphie more than anything. He does have that calming effect on people after all. “You’re better than the pillow, but…” You looked down at his head confused until you felt him shift, his face buried deep in your chest now while he tried to keep his horns away from poking you. His tail swayed behind him for a second before wrapping around your waist right beside his arms. “That’s better…” you looked at him, poking his horn for a moment before laughing. How is this better? How is this comfortable? Can he breathe? He must be breathing otherwise he wouldn’t lay like this, right? 

“You worry too much…” “What?” How did he know? You weren’t even asleep yet. He chuckled, lifting his head a bit and smiling at you, eyes still closed. “I don’t need you to be asleep in order to be inside your head… stop worrying so much. I know you want this.” He put his head back down right after, his whole body relaxing against yours and for a moment you wondered if this actually happened. “Belphie… I just…!” “Yeah I know. You want this but you worry about not doing enough. Just shut up already, okay? You, of all people, deserve to relax and what better way to relax than with me? Just ssshh… go to sleep. I won’t let you leave until I decide that you have rested enough.” And by that he means… you’re stuck with him on top of you until the next day has come and he’s thoroughly convinced you took some time for yourself. 

“You’re so silly, Belphie…” But it also felt really, really nice to have someone that seemed to care so much. And he does. He cares a lot. And he wishes you’d be more like him, in a sense, but then again… he’d just keep you with him at all times and make you his new cow pillow. It’s not like that’s going to be an issue, though, right? 

[mochegato]

I Can’t Fight This Feeling

Inspired by this

Chapter 1 

 Ladybug only paused momentarily as she ran.  If you weren’t watching carefully, you would miss it entirely.  And nobody in Paris was, their attention too focused on the ongoing akuma battle and avoiding becoming collateral damage to pay attention to Ladybug swinging away from the battle.  Or rather, nobody but one persistent prowler, whose focus was and had been entirely on Ladybug.  

She threw out her yoyo, attempting to get as much distance as she could in her swing.  “Our shadow is back.  And they’re fast and good.  They’re keeping up with me.  Not sure I’m going to be able to outrun them,” she commented quietly, trusting her com to pick it up.  She paused for a second before giving an affirmative hum.  “Just you, Rena.  Chat, you stay with the akuma.  We don’t know what this thing is.  I don’t want to pull both of you off the akuma if we don’t have to.  It’s causing too much damage to leave unattended.  But, I’m almost out of time, so there’s a timer on this.”

She swung, ran, and jumped at top speed for another minute before she ducked behind a chimney and hid in an alcove.  The shadow would have to be extremely good to be able to trail her, or have magic of their own, both of which were definitely options.  They had been able to keep up with her for the most part and observe them in fights mostly unobserved, which no matter how well the general public and reporters thought they were, they weren’t.  

But this person, whoever they were, was that good. The only reason she knew about them was because Sabrina had joined them using Barkk for only the second time, the first time being seen by the public, so she’d been able to detect them observing from the shadows.  What Sabrina hadn’t been sure of was how dangerous they were.  Thus far they had only observed the miraculous team, they hadn’t made any moves.

But, it appeared they were tired of waiting and she was about to find out how good they were first hand, because he was, in fact, extremely good or magic.  She could hear him land on the other side of the roof.  His landing may have been almost soundless, but he clearly wasn’t magic, because she could still hear it.  She gripped her yoyo and tensed in preparation.  She crouched down and waited until he came into view before striking. Luckily, he had expected her to try to attack from above so he had been looking above and missed her, giving her the fraction of a second she needed to get her yoyo out and wrapped around him.

Unfortunately, he seemed to be able to react quicker than a normal human and was able to avoid the brunt of the string.  It wrapped around his arm instead of his body. Ladybug hesitated a fraction of a second.  She didn’t want to pull too hard.  If he was human, which despite the quick reaction time, he appeared to be, pulling too hard could cause irreparable damage.  Damage she wasn’t sure if the miraculous ladybugs would repair since it wasn’t really akuma related.  

He reacted immediately.  He wrapped his arm around the string again and pulled.  Ladybug fell off balance and sprawled forward. He reached out to grab her, but she twisted out of his reach.  The advantage of being so clumsy all her life, she knew how to direct her falls. She pulled her string back as she fell. It instantly detached from his arm and curled back to her.  Ladybug rolled out of the way of the boot that descended with a resounding thud where her head had been a few seconds earlier, leaving a slight dent in the roof where it landed.

Ladybug jumped up and backed away from him, twirling her yoyo by her waist as she scrutinized her opponent.  He was large.  He would give her dad a run for his money, but she seriously doubted he was as soft and gooey as her father.  His outfit flowed around him, but clung enough for her to tell that he had more muscle strength in one leg than she did in her whole unsuited body. He moved with grace and confidence that spoke of elite training and skills.  One thing was for certain.  He was definitely a threat.

“No words?” Ladybug taunted as she jumped up.  “I mean, I can tell you’re not an akuma or you would have demanded my miraculous already.  But not even a villain’s dialogue explaining why you’re doing it and your justification?”  The Shadow stared back at her, easing into an attack position.  “That’s fine.  I can work with that.”  She ran at him straight on.  He swung at her, but she veered at the last second and dropped to her knees, sliding past him.  She twisted as she slid.  Now facing him, she threw out her yoyo, binding his feet, and pulled.  He fell to the ground with a resounding thud.

She was running out of time.  She had maybe a minute left.  Not nearly enough time to immobilize someone with his level of skills. Her eyes darted around, searching for anything that could help her formalize a plan.  He took that moment to launch at her.  He dived at her midsection, which was insulting quite frankly, that he thought she could be captured so easily and with his feet still bound.  She realized too late, she wasn’t his target.  He held up her yoyo, shaking it slightly for her to see and releasing his feet. He tossed it over the side of the building and launched at her again in the same movement.

She flipped over him, pulling his hood off as she did. She landed immediately behind him and kicked her leg out to sweep his legs out from under him.  He jumped to miss her leg, but with his balance already off due to his earlier move he stumbled and crashed into the ground.  He turned to glare at her.  Ladybug gasped.  He couldn’t be much older than her, if at all.  He took advantage of her momentary pause to launch a volley of hits at her. She blocked them, but was having a hard time keeping up with the attack.  She was trying not to hurt him, but he was showing no such compunction. She just had to hold out until Rena could get to her.

She backed away from him, creating necessary distance between them.  She needed to distract him.  She wouldn’t be able to keep this up for long.  “Strong silent type, huh?”  She arched an eyebrow at him and channeled her best Thor with a cocky grin.  “I’ve fought stronger.”

“Not without your magic,” he answered calmly.  It was the first time she’d heard his voice.  It was deep and gravely, it didn’t match the young features, but it did match the harsh eyes.

And now she knew his plan.  He knew he wouldn’t be able to take her on while she was transformed and he knew she was running out of time.  He was running her out of time.  He was banking on his skill to overwhelm her civilian self, and with the training he had, he was right.  “Are you sure,” she asked as confidently as she could, plastering on a confident smirk.

He studied her for a few seconds before responding. “I’ll take my chances.”

She flicked her eyes to the horizon, diverting her attention.  It was a stupid mistake, one she knew better than to make, but she was getting desperate for backup.  The shadow grabbed her and pulled her closer to knee her in the ribs.  She managed to block the hit with her own knee, lessening the impact, which was still enough that if she hadn’t been wearing a suit, her femur would have shattered.  With the same momentum, she leaned forward and kicked over her head, catching him in the face.

He loosened his grip just enough for her to break his grip and jump away, but he jumped forward as well and sent another volley of attacks at her.  She gasped as she felt the familiar sensation of her suit melting away as she detransformed. She braced for the pain of impact his fist would have with her face from the punch he just threw.  After a second, she opened one eye to see what he was doing. His fist hovered less than an inch from her face, his eyes scanned her incredulously.  “You’re a kid.”

She looked from his fist to his eyes.  She took a beat to assess the situation and try to slow her wildly beating heart.  “You look like you’re the same age as me,” she said pointedly.  Was it her smartest move, sass instead of caution?  No, but it was the one that felt right.  And until she had a better idea what was going on, it was the one she was going with.

He stared at her unmoving for a few beats.  “You’ve been doing this for years.  It’s been you since the beginning, right?”  Her narrowed eyes and pursed lips were answer enough.  He lowered his fist and backed away a few steps.  Still close enough to react, but giving some distance.  “Fuck.  You were a baby when you started.  I’ve seen video of you dying.  Why would you choose that?  Who made you think you had to?  You should have gotten to have a childhood.”  

His voice was harsh and accusatory and it grated on her. He was attacking her and he was mad at her for… being attacked?  She scowled at him.  “I’m sorry, were you going to fight the akumas?  Because it seems like your priorities might be incompatible and somebody had to protect the people of Paris, try to defend the children of Paris.  And you’re awfully the same age as me for someone so judgmental of my age.”

“How about an adult instead of a kid?” he yelled back at her.  He let out a long, angry breath.  “And where is your mentor?  There’s a Guardian, right?  I’ve studied your fights and never saw an adult.  Why isn’t your mentor out here fighting with you?  What kind of depraved asshole just gives a few self-defense classes then sends them out on their own?”

Marinette scoffed before she realized what she was doing. She slapped a hand over her mouth and looked back up at him wide-eyed.  “You have a mentor, right?” he growled as he stalked closer to her with each word. “One that taught you how to fight? One watching out for you?”

“You’ve spent the last few weeks stalking me so you could attack, and I’m guessing, put me in the grave.  Why do you care?” she growled at him.

“Who is protecting you?” he yelled at her.  Her continued silence seemed to confirm something for him.  She was pretty sure now that the fury in his eyes was not directed toward her, which was… odd.  He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  Marinette backed away from him slowly and nodded to Tikki to grab a cookie from her bag.  

Her eyes searched the skyline for any sign of Rena. She was sure Rena would be here any second.  She just needed to last another few seconds.  If Rena couldn’t make it, maybe she could transform in time to save herself.  And then deal with a hostile knowing her identity. But that was a problem for later. The problem for now was surviving the Shadow, recharge Tikki, and defeat the akuma.

His head whipped to the side as a movement caught his attention.  A figure in orange was making their way over to them rapidly.  They only had a few seconds before the figure would join them. He hissed out a breath and backed away from her.  He gave her one last glare and jumped off the side of the building.

Chapter 2

@jasonette-july-event

[synesindri]

Survey Writing Guide: Fandom Edition

Sooo! People are collecting survey data on fandom! Makes sense — fandom is an interesting population to study, and getting data on attitudes/behaviors/etc is a great way to try to find out the truth about popular points of contention about media. To get unbiased, meaningful data, though, you’ll want to make sure your survey is in good shape. This is a guide to try to help you do that.

I am assuming, if you are reading this, that you want your survey to be unbiased and interpretable, sampling from as many viewpoints as possible and getting data on opinions you might agree and disagree with. In other words, I am assuming that you want to do your fandom research in good faith. If that is not why you are making a fandom survey, then you can ignore this whole post. I would ask you to reconsider running a bad-faith fandom survey, but I can’t stop you. But just know that my assumption is that you’re out here in the honest pursuit of truth.

I’m not accusing a survey of being done in bad faith if it doesn’t follow my suggestions. I also realize most people are conducting these surveys in their spare time because they’re passionate & curious, not for the purpose of serious publication or whatever. I’m not telling you that you have to follow all or even any of the advice here. Do what you feel good about doing. Fandom should be fun! 

This guide is only about surveys themselves, and will not help you get a good sample of your fandom. In other words, none of this advice will make sure your survey reaches obscure corners of your fandom, insular communities you aren’t in, or casual fans. A good survey is important, but it’s only one part of getting accurate data, and participation recruitment is a whole other thing. 

This is also only intended to help with survey setup, not analysis or results reporting. You can write a great, unbiased, easy to understand survey, and still present your results in a way that is biased/doesn’t include good information/is hard to understand. Furthermore, once your results are public, they’re out of your hands: you might be well-meaning, but please keep in mind that some people might use your data to make unfair or incorrect assumptions about others, support biased arguments, or generally behave unpleasantly. That’s just part of survey work; don’t let it stop you, but don’t be surprised if/when it happens.

Now, onto the survey tips ~

Think about how to structure your questions

Use multiple choice answers/avoid free response answers as much as possible. This is going to be really helpful for you when it’s time to analyze your data: it’s so much easier to analyze responses that are just clicks of a box than responses that require you to read someone’s long explanation of an opinion and try to figure out what they mean. It also makes answering easier on your participants: clicking a box is a lot easier for them than writing out what they think. Giving an option for them to expand on their answer in a free response text box is great, but try to capture as many possible responses as you can in multiple choice questions.

Consider: should participants be able to give more than one response per question? A good rule of thumb for this is if different responses to a question are mutually exclusive or not: if they are mutually exclusive, only give people the option of clicking one box; if they’re not, let them choose as many as they want. For example, if you want to know somebody’s ONE favorite season of a show, only let them choose one season. If you want to know ALL the seasons they like, give them the option to choose multiple.

Only include one question per question 

A LOT of surveys ask questions that are actually several questions in one, and that makes answering them difficult! For example, you might THINK you’re only asking one thing if you say “Are you introverted or shy?” as a yes/no question, but that is actually two questions: some people are introverted but not shy; some people are shy but not introverted; some people are both introverted and shy, and some people are neither. People who respond “yes” might mean they are one or the other or both, and people who respond “no” might mean they are one or the other or neither — and you’ll have no way of knowing, because your question was too ambiguous.

If you’re asking a question about a nuanced topic, make sure your question and possible responses are nuanced too

People in fandom have a lot of complex views, and giving them only a black-and-white way to tell you about those views means you will miss out on nuance and get inaccurate results. If you are wondering about opinions on a controversial pairing, asking “Do you think it’s okay to ship Reylo?” (for example) and only letting people respond yes or no is not going to capture the range of opinions that exist on Reylo. If you can include multiple answer boxes for people to click, do that! 

Analyzing free response data (where people can write their own answer) is hard on you, as the survey writer, and people might not feel like explaining their opinions. Definitely include a free response box if you want, but also provide a lot of options for responses. 

The more controversial the topic you’re asking about, the more nuance you should let your participants give in their responses. People in fandom often have very strong and very complex opinions about certain issues; you’ll want to make sure not to flatten those opinions too much, while still keeping them simple enough to analyze. Asking “do you enjoy reading fluff?” is (probably) not going to be too complicated, and you’ll likely be fine giving people 2-3 response options (yes/always, sometimes, no/never). But you should give a lot more response options if you’re asking “is it ever acceptable to ship two siblings together?”: some people will be fine with “yes, always” or “no, never,” but a LOT of people are going to want to specify conditions like “only if they are not blood relatives” or “only if it is framed as being bad” or “it’s acceptable sometimes but I personally avoid it,” etc. Make sure people without clear-cut opinions have the ability to give you their opinions too.

Use simple, clear language

Use language that is as simple and precise as possible. Keep questions short when you can. Avoid using a lot of slang and regional idioms: people come from all over the place in fandom, and might not know what you mean. People also have a lot of different reading levels: you want to make sure most of your participants can understand what you’re asking them. 

There are some terms you can assume everyone in your sample will know, and some that you can’t: it’s up to you to figure out which terms are which. For example, most people in tumblr fandom space will understand what a ship is. They might not know what “IC” means though, so you might need to write it out as “in character.” Further, pretty much everyone in the MCU fandom might know what “Stucky” is, but not as many will know what “Coulwhip” is. You can make these kinds of technical terms easier for people to understand by just writing out all abbreviations and writing all pairings in the Name/Name format.

Use neutral language and keep your personal opinions out of it

Avoid inserting your own opinions into your survey, even if you expect that almost everyone participating will agree with you. Even “obvious” jokes won’t read as jokes to everyone; you might upset/offend/put off some group of participants disproportionately such that they won’t complete the survey, and you’ll miss a chunk of data you want. This is a problem, because say, for example, you really want to know if people’s favorite Supernatural ship has any correlation to fans’ personality traits — but if you poked fun at Dean somewhere else in your survey in a way that made Dean fans click off the page, then you’re going to lose a lot of Dean fan data that it would have been really useful for you to have, since Dean is a very popular character to ship with a lot of other characters. 

A good-faith survey is also not the place to moralize. Fandom can be a very polarized place; you are not going to be able to predict which things you ask about are going to be morally objectionable to your participants, and if they’re going to agree with your moral judgments. Your results might surprise you! A survey where you hope to get accurate data is not the place to defend a problematic character you like or to call some group of shippers gross. Your best bet for not causing issues is to include stuff that’s controversial and to be as neutral about it as possible — for example, if you are asking about ships people like, include every reasonably popular ship (potentially excluding rarepairs/extreme rarepairs just because it’s hard to include all of those), even the ones you hate/think are harmful/whatever, and don’t comment on the goodness or badness of any of them. 

Avoid “leading” questions to avoid bias

If you say, “Do you love this awesome TV show?” that’s going to be awkward to respond to for everyone whose answer is anything other than “yes.” Something like “What is your opinion of this TV show?” (with responses like: I love it, I like it, I have mixed feelings about it, I am neutral toward it, I dislike it, and I hate it) will give you a better sense of people’s genuine thoughts.

Select your multiple choice options thoughtfully

Be as egalitarian as possible in the options you provide to your fandom-specific questions that aren’t free response. If you leave out a major character on a list of favorite characters, for example, your participants are going to wonder why you did that — and you might not get data about that character, especially if you don’t include a free response option. 

Avoid bias in your multiple choice answer options

If you ask people for their favorite and least favorite [something], make sure the list of [something] options for both of those questions is identical. For example, if you’re asking about people’s most liked and most disliked ships, make sure the list of ships you include for both questions is the same. Including Sylvie/Loki only on the “ship you most dislike” but not the “ship you most like” list might seem like a reasonable move to you if you don’t know anybody who (openly) likes Sylvie/Loki, but doing that will bias responses and make your data inaccurate. Some people will stop filling out the survey, some people who like Sylkie just won’t want to bother filling in the blank, some people might forget that they like Sylkie unless it’s right in front of their eyes as one of the response options, some people will feel judged and so they won’t answer your survey honestly, etc. 

Follow common best practices advice for demographic information

Collecting information on respondents’ ages, genders, race/ethnicity, employment status, education history, etc is, luckily, very common, so there are a lot of standard questions about those things. I’ll just go ahead and list what I sometimes collect in my own surveys:

Age: for anonymous fandom surveys, I suggest using age groups (under 13, 13-18, 19-25, 26-35, etc) instead of asking people for their precise ages. Just make sure to include all possible age brackets. For example, don’t assume everyone in fandom is under 50.

Gender: unless you want a lot of nuance in your responses, it’s typically enough to include a list like: man/boy or male, woman/girl or female, nonbinary, genderfluid or bigender, and other. If you are interested in trans people specifically, I suggest asking that in a separate question (like: “Do you identify as transgender?”), rather than including binary trans identities in addition to binary cis identities in the same question. The exception to this is if you are including a very long list of gender options.

Race/ethnicity: (disclaimer that most of the data I collect comes from the US, so my best practices are most suited to that population. I welcome any feedback about the best way to ask about this for an international and/or non-US population.) I typically ask something like: “Which category best describes you?” and then give the options: American Indian or Native Alaskan, Asian, Black, Hispanic or Latinx, Middle Eastern or North African, Pacific Islander or Native Hawaiian, White, and other. Ideally, this list should allow multiple responses, so that multiracial/multiethnic people can give accurate reports.

Employment status: “What is your employment status?” with responses: employed full time, employed part-time, unemployed and looking for work, unemployed and not looking for work, self-employed, homemaker, student, and retired. If possible, let this be multiple choice, so that, for example, people who are students AND work can select both applicable options.

Education level: “What is your highest level of education?” with responses: some high school, high school diploma or equivalent, some college, college degree, some graduate education, Master’s degree, Doctorate degree, professional degree (e.g. M.D., J.D., M.Div, etc) 

Sexual orientation: like with gender, you probably don’t need to provide a long, comprehensive list unless your survey is about sexual orientation specifically. Something like the following is probably enough to cover most of your respondents: “What is your sexual orientation?” with responses: straight/heterosexual, gay/lesbian/homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, and other. 

Other questions: just try to make sure you are providing response options that will cover the majority of your participants, and include an “other” option if you’re not sure you’ve covered everything. There are a fair number of basic best practices documents for common demographics questions that you can find through Google, so if you’re not sure how to ask something, give it a quick search. You can also ask people you know who might know more about some specific demographic quality than you do to weigh in!

That’s it for now! I hope you find this helpful, either in writing your own surveys, or in evaluating surveys you are participating in!

[delightfulclouddreamer]

Helloo, I really love your Laxus one shot! If your requests are open, could I request another laxus one shot where laxus and the reader find out they’re having a baby?

Soooo, this is my first request ever and I'm really excited! Yes, my requests are open, I'll write a post with the fandom I can try and wright for. I made it a little bit angsty since Laxus is not the type of character who radiates fluff. Anyways, hope you like it, please let me know♥️

I should be happy... right?

Laxus x pregnant! Reader

Synopsys: You have been with Laxus for a long time, even before his exile. Now after the Great Mage games, you receive news that will change your lives. You love each other, he'll be fine right?

Your eyes were wide open, as you stared at your hands.

Your hands were gripping the fabric of your pants as you tried to breathe. Your mouth was dry, no sound dared to come out. Your heart was beating fast, as your lungs started to increase their rhythm. Tears started to dwell in your eyes, threatening to fall.

"Y/N...." Porlyusca whispered.

You heard her, but your mind wouldn't acknowledge her, busy repeating over and over again the same questions that made even more anxious and sick. "what is going to happen.... why me.... how is he going to react... I don't want to... I don't want that..... I don't want him to leave me...."

Your breath was now so fast your chest hurt. And then everything became black.

"Y/N, wake up" You heard Porlyusca voice speaking and opened your eyes, sitting on the bed you were laying on.

"Porlyusca san, what happened?" You asked, "After I told you the news... you had a panic attack, so I sedated you, you slept for an hour" she explained, sitting on her little chair near the bed. You couldn't bear looking at her, you felt ashamed, after what she told you all you could feel was anxiety and preoccupation.... what a good mother you thought, slowly caressing your stomach.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of" the medic said, as you continued to stare at the white cover, "It's normal to feel overwhelmed... especially if the child wasn't planned... if you want... there are ways to...." You stopped her immediately, staring at her with fear in your eyes, but there was something else, "I... want to have it" you whispered, now staring at your hands on your stomach, "I'm so scared I could pass out.... but I want to have it...." Porlyusca smiled and nodded.

As you walked back to your apartment your mind was wandering through all the possibilities. You were so worried at how he would react, and it scared you the most the fact that him leaving you and your child was a plausible option. After all... was he ready to become a father... was Laxus Dreyar ready to have a child... dang you weren't even sure you were ready.

You sighed and dried the tears with your hands as you reached your home, feeling anxious at every step you made.

"Tadaima!" you spoke, receiving no answers. You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. You weren't ready to tell him. Sighing you lay on the couch and swiftly fell asleep.

When you woke up a strong scent could be smelled coming from the kitchen. The smile that naturally grew on your face was swiftly blocked by the thought of the news... You shook your head and buried it away, letting the smile grow.

You reached the kitchen and there, your boyfriend was, cooking for you. You stared at him, feeling your stomach flips, just as years ago, feeling your heart melt, as you knew how much he hated cooking, feeling your eyes wet, as the fears you were trying to cast away were crushing you once again. However you knew what to do, you knew what you wanted and he didn't want to be involved in your decision... then...

"Don't stare too much or you'll consume me" he said, still looking at the pan in his big sift hands, you giggled, "Sorry, wouldn't want that to happen" you replied and made your way to him, hugging him from behind, breathing him his scents.

"Is everything alright?" he whispered, as you nodded, tightening the grip around his torso. He sighed, aware of your lies. During the meal, you were silent and distant. Laxus stared at you as you ate, preoccupied.

"I'm going to have a bath" you said, as he nodded. You reached the bathroom and started crying. why were you so anxious? He loved you, he was going to be there for you... "Y/N... are you ok?" you heard his voice from the bedroom and tried to stop your tears, "Yes, I'm alright" you replied, "Do you want me to come in?" he asked.

Your mind was once again running around. You took a deep breath and clenched the doorknob. Another deep breath, you thought, calming your mind and your body, "No...I...I'm coming out... there is something I need to tell you....". You opened the door, revealing your teary eyes and puffy nose. Laxus was shocked and preoccupied, he followed all of your movement, never leaving his tough facade. He observed as you took his hand and led him to your bed.

He observed as you took a deep breath and left his hand, feeling his preoccupation rising.

He observed as you brought your eyes up to his, staring deep in your eyes, searching for something, strength...? Love....? He couldn't tell.

He observed as your mouth moved. As those words left your mouth the world stopped. Silence filled the air.

"I'm going to have it....." silence...." With....or without your involvement..... you are free to choose....".

Nothing could be heard in that household. Laxus was staring at the floor and you were staring at your hands, waiting for the moment of truth. I... should be happy right? you thought as tears ran down your cheeks.

The silence was broken by the sound of the front door shutting. You were now alone, almost.

You cried, feeling all your emotions flowing down. This child. She was going to receive so much love, you will make sure of it, you thought, as you fell asleep, tears still streaming down your face.

The sun was beaming through the curtains and the birds were chirming.

Your eyes slowly opened, still puffy and red from the night before, his heart melted. You turned your head and saw him, sitting on the armchair opposite your side of the bed. Now your anger was taking control of you.

"Y/N...." he whispered, as you got up and moved your hand to slap him, he stopped it, placing it slowly on his cheek.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry that I left" he continued, "I'm scared..." Your eyes, before full of anger now lovingly staring at him.

He has always dealt with things his way, "I... I'm so scared...." he repeated, as tears streamed down his face. You moved your hands to dry them, caressing his cheeks, "I'm scared too... but if you want... we can be scared together, you don't have to carry burdens all on your own, we are in this together" you said.

He was staring at you, your strength was the only reason he became the man he was now, your love, was the only reason he was going to be a father, you were the reason he was happy.

"Let's do this together.." he whispered, placing his forehead on yours, you nodded, kissing him.

The kiss was gentle, slow yet passionate.

I'm happy now, you thought.

LITTLE EXTRA BC IT'S MY FIRST REQUEST...

"Gramps... We needed to tell you that.... well....Y/N's pregnant..." Laxus said, scratching the back of his neck, as she half hugged him, smiling.

"Gramps!" Laxus yelled as Makarov passed out. "Guess it went well" she said, laughing.

[ezzydean]

“ i could have lost you today! do you know what that would have done to me? ” - Peter & Stiles

Stiles manages to hold his tongue until they’re safely tucked away in Peter’s apartment. Away from their enemies and allies alike. Away from the world that seems so determined to take every last bit of Stiles’ happiness and chew it into mush before spitting it out to dissolve on the concrete of the abandoned strip mall parking lot that is his life, complete with weeds struggling to survive as they spring up through the cracks and crawl across the pitted concrete.

So maybe he needs to take a few deep breaths and step back from the cache of flowing words and artful descriptions his creative writing class has tucked away in his mind.

It doesn’t matter what words he uses. He’s angry and frustrated and on edge and the way Peter is looking at him like he wants to pin him down and gobble him up is not doing anything other than make him even angrier.

“That was dangerous, Peter. Dangerous and stupid and ridiculous and if I’m saying it was stupid? Me. The undisputed king of doing stupid shit without thinking it through? You know it was fucking stupid.”

“Oh please.” Peter rolls his eyes as he saunters towards his bedroom to change out of his dirty clothes. “I’m a werewolf, darling. There is very little in this world that can even leave a scratch that doesn’t heal within a few hours.”

“Yeah and one of those things is a band of pissed off hunters who have gone rogue, no longer follow a code, and are systematically taking out smaller packs one by one.” Stiles doesn’t bother to raise his voice. One: because he’s tired. Two: because he knows that Peter can hear him no matter where he is in the apartment, even if he whispered.

He throws himself on to the couch, spreading out over it so Peter will have to either move him, sit on him, or sit in the chair off to the side when he comes back. Yes he’s being a little bit petty. But he had just watched Peter throw himself into a fight with a bunch of off the rail hunters who were hellbent on destroying anything and everything supernatural that they could. It doesn’t matter that Peter managed to not get hurt this time. It doesn’t matter that Issac and Derek had swooped in with an almost eerily synchronized move to pull the attention off of Peter.

Stiles had still seen it. He had seen the blade oozing with the twisted version of wolfsbane these particular hunters had been known for. He’d seen it centimeters away from Peter’s chest before he had been grabbed by Isaac and yanked out of the way. A millisecond later and that blade would have been in Peter’s heart. He’s going to be having nightmares about Isaac being too late for weeks. About Isaac reaching out and the blade already in Peter’s chest. About Peter on the ground bleeding and gasping and fading away because this particular wolfsbane blend is made to be quick and vicious and damn near impossible to burn out of a werewolf’s system.

Stiles is good. He can do a lot of shit. And maybe, maybe, if they were mated or bonded or had claimed each other or whatever he’d be able to save Peter even on the brink of death.

But they’re not.

He appreciates being the one to warm Peter’s bed and he knows that neither of them are with anyone else. But they’re not really even with each other so it’s only a small consolation.

Peter looms over him and Stiles peels his eyes open and glares up at him. He doesn’t let his eye rake over Peter the way he wants to. Doesn’t let himself give in to these instincts to curl around Peter and protect him.

Peter doesn’t want that. Peter doesn’t want Stiles to take up that position in his life. In his bed? Sure. On his side in a fight? Definitely. By his side in life? No thank you. Peter’s made it pretty clear where Stiles stands in that regard.

He gestures for Stiles to move his legs and when Stiles refuses Peter raises his brows. “What has you in such a mood? I barely even got a scratch on me and the hunters were put in their place. Everyone wins. Except the hunters, who are dead now.”

“Barely got a scratch?” Stiles hops to his feet, rage flooding him so fast that Peter actually leans back when Stiles leans towards him. “Barely a scratch? You were, quite literally, a hairbreadth away from death, Peter. If Isaac hadn’t grabbed you when he did you wouldn’t be here now.”

“But I am. Here and unharmed.” Peter reaches out for him and Stiles bats his hands away. “It was a risk, Stiles. We all take them every time we go into a fight.”

“Not all of us take unnecessary risks, Peter. You’re the one who taught me that unnecessary risks are just that: unnecessary.” Peter crosses his arms across his chest and takes a step back from Stiles.

“Be that as it may I still don’t see what has you so upset about this whole thing. So I took an unnecessary risk. What is the big deal?”

“The big deal? The big deal is that I could have lost you today! Do you know what that would have done to me? What losing you would do to me?”

Peter stares at him for a moment, words sinking in, before he scoffs and looks off towards the windows.

“You’d survive just fine without me. I’m sure you wouldn’t even miss me for that long. There are plenty of others out there who would fall over themselves to be with you,” Peter says quietly.

“I don’t care. I don’t want any of them. I want you, Peter. I don’t care how many people out there would be willing to be with me. I didn’t choose any of them. I chose you.”

Peter’s lip curls as he lets out a growl. “Oh, please. I’m not a choice. You know it. I know it. Hell even the hunters who come to try and kill us all know that I am, at best, a convenient fuck for you.”

Stiles’ mouth is already open to snap back when the mention of hunters makes him snap it shut. The hunters had been talking amongst themselves just before Peter had leapt into the middle of them and the whole plan had gone out the window. Is that what they had been talking about? Is that what they had said?

He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

“Peter.” He waits until Peter drags his gaze from the windows and looks at him. “You’ve been my choice since before I even knew you were an option.”

“What?”

Well. This was either going to end in some really amazing sex and a new stage of their whatever they’ve been doing or it was going to ruin the best thing he’s ever had. But he is the undisputed king of doing stupid shit without thinking it through after all.

“You’ve been my choice since before I even knew you were an option,” he repeats. “The only reason I haven’t given in to my spark’s need to bond with you, to claim you as mine, is because you’ve never seemed to want anything more than a convenient fuck out of me.”

Peter’s eyes widen at ‘bond’ and ‘claim’ even as he winces at having the ‘convenient fuck’ part thrown back at him. He stares at Stiles and Stiles knows Peter is listening to his heartbeat and subtly scenting the air to measure the truth of Stiles’ words. Stiles learned a long time ago how to control his heartbeat and mask his scent but he had promised to never do it while the two of them were alone and fuck Peter is so blind if he can’t see all the ways Stiles bends for him where he’s steel for everyone else.

“You’ve never wanted that,” Peter finally whispers. “You’ve never—” He cuts himself off and shakes his head. “No.”

“I’ve wanted it since the day you gave me a key to your apartment and told me you trusted me with it. You. Peter Hale. Trusting me with the key to your apartment. The key to your safe—”

Well shit.

Peter was blind to how far Stiles was willing to bend for him and Stiles was blind to how much Peter had already bent by him by giving Stiles his trust.

“As much as I loathe to admit it about myself,” Peter says softly as he reaches out for Stiles. “We’re both idiots when it comes to each other, aren’t we?”

Stiles collapses into Peter’s arms with a laugh. “Yeah,” he huffs as he buries his face against Peter’s neck. “But I’m your idiot. And you’re my idiot. So I guess it works out in the end.”

“I guess it does, darling. I guess it does.”

[folkloreguk]

Shower Thoughts

A/N: I like writing about personal emotions a lot…this feels a little like writing a diary but also like self-therapy and it really helps me. I hope anyone who also feels this way knows that they’re not alone with those feelings. Also happy birthday to the sweetest @sunghoonied!! I wrote this thinking of you and I hope you have the best day ♡ PS. I didn't proofread this so if you find errors kindly lmk please! x

genre: optional bias (male), meant to comfort you, angst, fluff, talk of loneliness / anxiety but with a good ending!

words: ~ 2.5 k

taglist: @lovely-ateez, @mochi-ficz, @soundsofminho, @runaway-fics

People said that walking was supposed to clear your mind. But then why was it, that you had gotten so lost in your worst thoughts out there? The time spent in fresh air was meant to let your mind wander to calm places and smiling at strangers should have made you feel less lonely. But with every step you took and with every passing face your body felt heavier. Not only did you carry your figure, but the crushing burden that had been nagging at you for weeks.

Watching others stroll around the streets seemed so easy. And perhaps it should have been easy, after all. It made you wonder, maybe you were the only one whose mind was constantly covered in dark rain clouds. Maybe everyone had their place in the world, and they knew just where and with whom they belonged. Surely, they didn’t overthink every conversation they had with a random stranger. Did their brain also function merely on autopilot in public, while the back of your mind was chaos of doubt and fear? Was there anybody else who spent day to day worrying about never finding someone who could deal with the burden of you and your issues? How was somebody else going to love you if you were this sad?

Those people that care about you are the ones you should be honest with, after all. There was no brushing off the How Are You question with a quick “I’m fine”. How could someone deal with the real answer you would give? You didn’t want to pull anybody down with you when you were hurting. So then again, maybe it was for the better your apartment was always empty when you came home. With no one to ask you about your feelings, you couldn’t cause anyone else agony and worry. Your own pain was enough – one person was enough to deal with it.

You shoved your shoes in the corner next to your door. If it wasn’t for your mental state, you would’ve guessed your jacket was a hundred kilos heavy. But even after you had peeled it off, nothing changed. You dragged your body to the bathroom.

You’d be so proud if only you could go one day without crying. And you had almost made it, had it not been for the godforsaken shower water. There was something about seeing the droplets on your skin and on the tiles that caused your tears to come out freely. The noise of the shower made you feel shut off from the rest of the world. Now it was just you and your salty ocean tears. The tears united with the shower water. It was hard to tell which drops on your cheek had originated in your swollen eyes and which had fallen from the shower head. This way, it seemed almost as if there was an invisible force that was wiping over your face, trying to appease your sobs.

But there was nobody. And that was why you only cried harder. If only you had listened to your own words when you tried to cheer yourself up. Then maybe you would feel better when you wrapped your arms around your own body. You were desperate. The notion that someone could hold you like this, one day, should have gifted you at least some form of hope. But no, you knew it wouldn’t happen any time soon. Not with this mindset and your sadness.

You hiccupped helplessly. This was all so tiring. Before you knew it, you sat down on the shower floor under the hot stream. At least there was no one waiting to get into the shower after you. So you wouldn’t have to feel guilty about blocking the bathroom and wasting all the hot water. For a few minutes you remained on the floor, drowning out your cries under the splashing sound. You felt the impulse to scream. Look, I’m here! I’m a person with interests and passions and emotions! Doesn’t anybody see me? I’m sick of only existing! Won’t somebody teach me how to live?

But at most, that would cause you a noise complaint. If only you weren’t so terrible at talking to people. Maybe you could make a friend someday – when your anxiety got better. Like in a trance, you finally switched off the water and grabbed your towel. You were so utterly lost in your thoughts, that everything went by as if you were only watching from the sidelines. You got out of the shower, dried off, put on some body lotion – an attempt at self-care – and got dressed in the most comfortable, baggy clothes you owned.

What on earth would you do tonight? There really were only so many ways you could have fun (or rather distract yourself from feeling down) when you were all by yourself and everything reminded you of how lonely you were. The option of just going to sleep slipped past you. But you weren’t tired enough. You knew you’d lie awake for hours, left alone with your thoughts. And crying yourself to sleep was the last thing you wanted right now.

So you opted for the most mainstream idea: Netflix. You plopped down on the sofa, a steaming hot cup of tea on the small table in front of you. Now you only had one thing left to do. You needed to choose some stupid show and let the problems of tv characters invade your brain and pray they would shove out your own issues. You weren’t even hungry. Although there was a part of you that wished it could have eaten your weight in chocolate, but you knew that had little to do with hunger.

Just as you reached for the remote control, the sound of your doorbell made you jump. I’ll just let it be. They’ll think I’m not home and leave. Those thoughts came right away. It made you curse yourself. You had just cried over feeling alone, but now you’re shutting out some random neighbor who probably just needs some tiny favor from you. Way to go. So, more to prove a point to yourself than to be friendly, you stepped to your door and opened it.

“Hi.” It was your neighbor. Your handsome, kind neighbor, who you always met at the local grocery store. You were so mentally exhausted you didn’t even feel self-conscious about looking the way you did. Although you hoped your eyes had recovered from the redness, at least a little. “Hi,” you greeted him back.

“Look, I really don’t want to be intrusive. And if you want me to leave, I will,” he said. He fumbled with his hands, as if he was nervous about his words. “But I kind of heard you…cry…in the shower. And I know you live alone, and I figured if you’re crying you probably don’t have any company. I guess I just wanted to check whether you’re okay. Do you have someone to talk to?”

With every word your heart only sped up. You felt like a trapped rabbit in a corner and the meaning of his message only sunk in slowly. Yes, of course. I’ll call my friend and talk to them,you wanted to say. But that would have been a massive lie. And you just couldn’t lie to him. Not when he stood there, in his fuzzy sweater and fresh-out-the-shower damp hair, with eyes so worried and attentive. You weren’t sure if it was from how touched you were by his concern for you, or if it was your sadness catching up to you again. Before you could swallow your tears, your eyes filled to the brim and your vision turned blurry.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you said, not sure what for. Hurriedly, you used your sweater paw to wipe your leaking eyes. You didn’t want him to feel bad for you, but now you had achieved just that and more. Your embarrassment set in and you finally came out with the truth. “I don’t have anyone to talk to.”

“No need to be sorry. It’s alright. We all have those days, don’t we? I just want you to know that you’re not alone. And I have nothing to do…so if you need someone to talk to, or even just to keep you company…I can stay with you for a bit…or you can come over to mine. I just don’t want you to feel alone. But if you would prefer to be by yourself, that’s okay. People deal with things differently.”

You were so baffled that your ability to speak completely fell through. The idea of someone, an almost-stranger, going so out of their way to make sure you were okay blew you away. He knew nothing about you. But here he was, taking a chance on you, nonetheless. Only then you realized you probably looked like a fool, staring at him but failing to answer. Quickly, you prompted yourself to open your mouth to speak, but he beat you to it.

“What were you doing just now?” he asked. “Any plans for the evening?”

“I was going to watch a movie, I guess,” you said. “And I think some company would be very nice.”

He smiled at you like was your childhood best friend and you had just reconnected after years of being apart. That’s why it felt the more natural to let him enter your apartment. You got into small talk about what it was like living in the building and how his apartment had a mirrored structure to yours. The simplest conversation took your mind off your sorrow right away. You felt like thanking him would be a little dramatic after he had barely settled on your sofa, so you kept it to yourself. Either way, the small smile on your face felt like warm, soothing sunlight on your skin after eight consecutive days of rain.

“Do you want to talk about anything?” he asked. You thought for a moment.

“No, I think I’d rather just distract myself,” you said. Even though you were grateful for having him here, you feared if you spilled your guts to him you would only scare him away.

“Alright,” he said without judgement. “What film were you planning on watching?”

And so you started your movie. There was a respectful distance between you on the sofa. But his simple presence next to you was more than you could have asked for tonight. He was like a heater, providing safety and comfort in the coldest winter. Hearing someone else chuckle at the jokes in the movie along with you was magnificent. His laughter sounded like a rainbow. It seeped into your body and your soul straightened up and bloomed like a parched flower being watered after all this loneliness.

But even under all the light, your problems were still here, waiting to nag at you. You knew they would consume you when he returned to his own apartment later. They would laugh at you for trying to socialize but staying closed off as always. Just because someone saw you didn’t mean they understood you and who you are. And how was one supposed to make human connections if they treated their thoughts like strictly confidential information in front of everybody? No, you had to tell him.Impulsively, you pressed the stop-button on the remote. He shot you a questioning gaze.

“I- I think maybe I do want to talk about something,” you confessed.

“You can tell me anything. I promise it’ll be safe with me. Let out whatever bothers you,” he said. His lovely, warm eyes were inviting like a haven for you. So you just started to talk. All your frustrations and reasons for anxiety were exiting your lips, floating all around you in the room. Airing out your weary brain finally, after holding everything in for weeks, was uncaging and nothing had felt this good in so long. Although your sadness wasn’t something that could be fixed by doing a task, the more thoughts and worries you explained to him, the easier it became. It wasn’t long before you felt your tears well up once more.

“It’s okay,” he said with his hand on your shoulder. This time, you didn’t try so hard to blink them away. Where there were emotions, there were tears, and he was right. It was fine to let them out. Through sniffles you finished telling him your issues.

“Is this okay?” he asked, gently putting his arm around your shoulder to hold your shaking figure. You hummed and nodded in agreement. His warmth was like a blanket to shelter you from the anxiety, if even just for a short while.

“I don’t expect you to know a solution,” you said. “I need to wait for it to get better. It’ll get better, eventually.”

“You’re right. It will all resolve,” he said. “I’m sorry things are so difficult. But you’re not alone, okay?”

You nodded again.

“Time will heal, I promise,” he said. “And until then, you have to hold on and keep going. The world’s a little cruel sometimes, when it shuts out the ones who struggle and don’t do as well as others. But you’re as much of a part of it as any other human on the street. And you’re just as important as them. You weren’t born to be successful or to achieve things. You’re here to live and be happy. So promise me to take care of yourself, and be gentle to yourself. Because you’re the only person that will be with yourself every second until the end. Please don’t be hard on yourself and have patience for good things to come around. And if it all feels like it’s too much for you, don’t feel guilty about reaching out for help. You can always ring my doorbell if you need something.”

“Thank you so much,” you cried. Your cheek rested on his shoulder and you sat in silence for a while. It was unbelievable which wonders such a small conversation between two people could do. Your heart felt lighter and the thoughts were no longer racing through your head. Peace was settling in, and you welcomed it more than ever.

“Now that I’ve told you about me, what kind of person are you?” you asked through tears. He chuckled a little. All you knew until now was that he had a heart of gold. Which, to be fair, meant your impression of him was off to a pretty good start already. Your thoughts were cautious as you wondered…Maybe he could be my friend.

You abandoned the movie. Instead, you spent all evening chatting about whatever came to your mind. You discussed childhood dreams, favorite dishes, your best playlists down to the cutes dog breeds you had ever seen. It felt great, getting to know somebody. And your suspicions came true. His big heart wasn’t the only thing admirable about him. He was funny and knew just what to say when you felt awkward or shy. When you slipped into bed that night, you did so with a smile on your face. You had always told yourself that you weren’t alone. But sometimes, the most optimistic person needed a small reminder coming from somebody else. Here was yours.

[carrotmakar]

Not Going Anywhere Without You

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Word Count: 2.6k 

Summary: When Y/N finds out that she’s expecting, she’s scared out of her mind. She doesn’t know how she’s going to get through it all. She doesn’t know if Harry even wants to be a father. Fortunately, Harry’s more than ready to take a step back from the stage for a while to start the family that he’s longed for his entire life.

Warning(s): unplanned pregnancy, nerves, pet names, a brief argument (idek if you could call it an argument tbh), fluffiness, dad!harry

A/N: this is one of the pieces that have been on my mind since i saw the dadathon that @tbslenthusiast​ is hosting!! Everyone should go read the masterlist of submissions and join if you want to!! Also a warm thank you to @taintedwonder​ and @sunflowers-styles​ for beta reading/getting me through writing the whole thing!!! and @havethetimeofyourstyles​ for listening to me tell her about how i cried writing/editing this (ily jill) !!!!! 

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Reblogs help a lot and are greatly appreciated!!

*

There’s absolutely no way that this can be happening. 

She stares down at the two pink lines on the pregnancy test and has to hold back the sobs that are threatening to overtake her. How could this be happening? No. This simply just cannot be happening to her. 

Except it is. She’s pregnant. She’s carrying the child that she and Harry have created together.  The truly awful part though? She doesn’t even know how to feel about it. 

Of course, she’s excited. She’s happy. All she has ever wanted is a family with the man that she loves, but she's also nervous. She has no idea how he’s going to react to this. She doesn’t know how any of this is going to work. He’s in the middle of a world tour and she doesn’t even know if he’ll be done by the time she’s due. 

Hell, she doesn’t even know when she’s due. She doesn’t know how far along she is and the amount of unknown facts threaten to send her spiraling. 

What if he’s mad? What if he doesn’t want the baby? What if she has to do this alone? She doesn’t think she can be a single mother.

There are so many unknowns and there’s no way that she can do this on her own. For the time being, however, she knows she has to figure this out herself.  She’s in  their house in London while he’s in the States performing to thousands of screaming fans every night. There’s no way that she can drop this news on him in the middle of that chaos.

No, she reminds herself instead that he’ll be home in less than a month and she can tell him then. It’s better to do these things in person anyway.

Fortunately, that also means that she has a few weeks to calm the nerves that are coursing through her entire body. She also has that time to figure out how she’s going to break the news to him. She can’t just come out and say “Oh by the way, hey, I’m pregnant.” Can she?

*

“I’m pregnant.” The moment the words tumble out of her mouth she hears the excited squeal coming from her mother. 

She needed to tell someone about the news, and since Harry wasn’t an option yet, her mother had  automatically been her first choice.

“Baby, I’m so happy for you!” She shrieks through the phone and Y/N can see how excited she is even though the FaceTime quality isn’t great. The image of her mother all but jumping up and down from excitement brings a beaming smile to her face. “Does H know yet?” 

That question causes Y/N’s smile to falter and her mom immediately catches it. “Why doesn’t he know?”

“Well he’s not here and I didn’t want to tell him on the phone, and I don’t know, really. I just found out the other day and I guess I’m just a little scared.” She’s trying her best to not tear up, and the newfound hormones are not helping the cause, but the lump in her throat is letting her know that she’s not succeeding.

“Why are you scared?” Her mother questions softly, trying to get Y/N to open up about what’s bothering her without pushing too much.

“I’m not sure… just scared he isn’t going to be happy with me.” She’s surprised when her mother audibly scoffs at her words. 

“Y/N, sweetheart. If you really think that he’s not going to drop to his knees the moment that you tell him you’re carrying his child, you’re delusional.” She lets out a light chuckle before continuing. “He’s so head over heels in love with you that there’s absolutely no way that he could ever be upset over something like that.”

“Yeah but what if he’s not ready? He said he had wanted to wait a bit.” The tears that she’s trying so desperately to suppress are beginning to pool in her eyes and she wants to kick herself for letting this get to her again. 

“Honey, H is the only person I know that is completely, without a doubt, ready to have children.” The first tear rolls down Y/N’s cheek as she observes the way that her mother’s face softens at the mention of Harry being ready to start his family. “Y/N, the moment that you break the news to him, his entire life is going to get a million times better.”

She nods and knows in her heart that she has nothing to worry about. She continues to converse with her mom for a little while longer, moving on from the topic of the pregnancy and Harry. Her mother’s words had calmed her nerves considerably. 

After the phone call ends she decides to text Harry; it feels like they haven’t been talking as much recently, and she feels bad, knowing that her nerves have partially been the reason for that. 

Hey babe, how’s everything going? Where are you this evening? 

His reply comes in an instant, almost as if he had been waiting for her text.

St. Paul :) it’s been pretty great here! The show was great last night! Haven’t really done much lately though, it’s just been hotel room after hotel room and show after show. 

The thought of him sitting in his hotel rooms alone, more than likely nursing a drink to calm his post concert adrenaline, makes a frown appear on her face. She knows how he gets when he’s away on tour and has to watch everyone around him pair off and go out to enjoy the city that they’re stopped in. He hasn’t been up for going out as much recently and, despite her efforts, she doesn’t know why. He’s usually always up for going out to let the adrenaline run its course, but every time they’ve talked lately, he’s just been shut away up in his room. 

Why don’t you go out and enjoy the city with the band, sweetheart?

Feels wrong to go out without you, angel. Miss you being here with me.

Her heart clenches in her chest and she can’t help but feel guilty. He had asked (more like begged) her to come on the North American leg of the tour with him. She had refused, thinking that she needed to stay at home so she wouldn’t have to take so many days off of work. Looking back on it, she probably could have taken the time off  and not had to explain. It was just one of the things that seemed to happen when her boss had found out she was dating Harry Styles.

I’m sorry for not coming with you :( I miss you, though. So, so much.

The awful feeling in her gut doesn’t subside - in fact, it only grows stronger. She suddenly realizes that if she had said yes, she would be with him right now. Not only would she be getting him out of those god forsaken hotel rooms but she also wouldn’t be withholding the life changing information that she has.

It’s alright, love. I’ll see you in a few weeks and then we can be together for a while. No worrying about tour. 

The prospect of him being at home for a while, possibly even more than a year, causes excitement to course through her veins. Maybe if he’s home for long enough to where he can start raising their child with her, then he’ll be happier when she tells him the news.

I can’t wait until you’re back in my arms, bubs. I miss cuddling with you.

She can’t see him right now but she knows that - most likely - he’s got that soft smile on his face that he always says is reserved for her. He always does so when he lets himself take a moment and think about cuddling with her. 

You’ll get all the cuddles the moment that I’m home. Promise.

Their conversation doesn’t last much longer. With the time zones being so different and the two of them being in different countries, with their sadness eating away at them.

*

She’s in his arms the moment that he swings the front door open. The force of the surprise impact knocks him back for a moment, but he eventually regains his balance and wraps his arms around her. 

She sighs in content at the feeling of  warmth radiating from his body to hers. He’s always been warmer than her, but right now, after he’s been gone for months, he feels warmer than all the blankets she’s tried to keep herself cozy with. 

“Hey, baby.” He mumbles into her hair, not making any move to pull away or even shut the door.

“I missed you so much.” He can hear the crack in her voice and he immediately squeezes her tighter. 

“Missed you too, darling.” 

She’s the one to pull away first. She unwraps herself from his arms and moves to shut the door behind him. She avoids meeting his eyes knowing that he’s already sensed that something is going on. She never pulls away first, and she’s afraid that he’s going to notice and ask her about it. Hopefully, he’ll just brush it off as the fact that the door needed to be closed or that dinner still needed to be cooked.

Of course, he doesn’t just brush it off. “Is something bothering you?”

She turns away from him and begins to make her way towards the kitchen. “I’m fine, H.”

“Love, please don’t lie to me.” Her breath hitches and her steps falter. That’s the last thing she wants to do  but she knows if she looks at him and tells him what’s really going on inside her head, she’s going to completely crumble. 

“I’m not lying to you, honey. I’m fine.” He scoffs at her words. He knows they’re not true, but he chooses not to push her too far. If he continues to pester her about it, she’ll close herself off to him and then there will be absolutely no way that he’ll be able to figure out what’s bugging her. 

“Do you want me to cook dinner, petal?” He comes up behind where she had stopped and wraps his arms around her from behind. She immediately leans into him and he knows that all she needs right now is his love. 

“I can do it, honey. You’ve been busy lately.” She hesitantly turns in his arms and peers up at him biting her lip. 

Now seems like as good of a time as ever to tell him.

“H, can we maybe wait a minute on the food?” She tries her best to not let her voice waiver but she knows there’s a slight wobble that won’t go unnoticed by Harry. 

“Yeah, of course.” He keeps his arms wrapped around her and waits for her to make the first move.

She stands still for a few moments, barely moving an inch. She inhales but it’s shaky and she feels the tears bubbling up to the surface before she can stop them.  She tucks her head into his chest as the sobs that she’s been holding in for weeks escape. 

“Shh. It’s okay, petal. I’ve got you. Just let it out.” He smooths the small wisps of hair on her head and slowly rocks their bodies back and forth. The gestures calm her and soon enough the tears start to subside. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” She sighs at his question and he’s scared that he’s crossed a line, that he’s asked too much of her too soon. He knows that he hasn’t, however, when she slowly nods her head and takes a step back. 

He releases his hold on her and she wipes the remaining wetness of her cheeks. She glances around the kitchen and Harry gently lifts her up onto the counter so that she won’t have to stay standing. 

“Um, so I have to tell you something.” She starts, and she busies herself with picking at her nails to avoid his gaze. “And I don’t want you to be mad, okay?” 

She still doesn’t look up at him, but she pauses, giving him the time to answer. After he hums his agreement, she takes a shaky breath and continues. “I didn’t plan for this to happen, I promise. I just… I don’t know… somehow it happened and I just… this is terrifying. And I’m probably making absolutely no sense right now, I’m so sorry.” She can feel the lump in her throat returning yet again and she buries her face in her hands to take  a minute to breathe.

Harry hasn’t moved from the spot that he was in. He feels like his feet are stuck to the floor. He can’t come up with a reasonable guess as to what she could possibly be talking about and it’s making him more nervous that being on stage does. 

“It’s okay, baby. Take your time.” He doesn’t want her to feel like she has to rush to get the words out. 

“Um, so, I know you’re on tour and you have a career that doesn’t slow down for anyone, which is why when I tell you this I want you to know that you don’t have to stick around for it. I can do it on my own, okay?” His stomach drops when she says that, but he doesn’t say anything yet. “I’m… I’m pregnant, H. Like I said, you don’t have to help if you don’t want to, you’re terribly busy, and---

“Y/N why would you even say that?” He tries to hold the harshness back, to not snap at her right now, but the fact that she thinks he wouldn’t want to be completely present in his child’s life makes him see red. 

“What do you mean?” She’s suddenly on alert, the tone of his voice taking her completely by surprise. 

“How could you even let the thought cross your mind that I wouldn’t want to be around? You know me, love.” He’s trying his hardest to not let his emotions take over because honestly, he’s not entirely sure if he’d start yelling or break down sobbing. 

“Harry, you’re a singer. Your entire career is touring the world. Singing is your dream, and there’s no way that I’m going to ask you to give that up.” She didn’t think that he would be offended by her giving him an out, but by the cracking in his voice, it’s clear she’s never said something more hurtful to him.

“Yeah, music is my job, and I love that. But my dream, Y/N, the thing that I want more than anything in this entire world, is you.” His voice catches in his throat and she finally looks up at him. He looks broken, like the things she said, the things she thought would help, really just ripped his heart into shreds.

“H, I really can’t ask you to give that up in any way.” She wants to give in, to say that everything will be fine, that he can take time off of touring if he wants. The rational part of her, however, the part that remembers asking him to give this up to any extent could make him resent her, fights against it.

“Baby, listen to me, please.” He pleads. “You’re not asking me to do anything. Regardless of whether or not you want me in our child’s life… which I pray to the lord that you do, I’m taking time off after the tour. I want to spend time at home, with you, with both of you.” He gently cradles her face in his palms and strokes her cheek with his thumb. 

“Are you sure?” She doesn’t want to keep fighting him on it. All she wants is to raise the family that she’s wanted for her entire life with the most extraordinary love. 

“Absolutely.” He promises.

He bends slightly so that his face is directly in front of her stomach. “Daddy's going to be here for you and Mommy every step of the way, bub.”

*

Thank you so much for reading lovelies!!!!! Again, reblog the pieces that you like and don’t be afraid to leave feedback!!

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[tobi-smp]

The worst part about the separation at the Green Festival is that Techno wasn't even the focus of that scene. Like yeah, it was revealed he was personally hurt during Doomsday, but in the original scene he was just kinda like "really? fine then, we're destroying the place anyway". The real emotional crutch of the scene was Tommy and Tubbo's confrontation reaching its breaking point and Tommy realizing what he was starting to become and choosing not to do that. But all anyone online could talk about was "oh poor Techno Tommy hurt his feelings so much by betraying him plus taking the Axe of Peace and the turtle helmet? After everything he's done for him?" Like it was clear they didn't care about Tommy or Tubbo as characters or their development, they just cared about poor Techno's feelings. It was so bizarre going online and expecting people to be talking about "the discs were worth more than you ever were" and analyzing that scene and instead be met by all this stuff about how sad Techno must be and how much Tommy sucked despite having positive character development.

If you're only hear for Techno, that's fine, I've watched shows and consumed media where I was like "this bitch is my fav. The rest of you are whatever" but don't try to pass judgement on other characters if you're only doing it from someone else's viewpoint!

oh absolutely, so many people frame that scene as tommy intentionally choosing to hurt technoblade or as tommy demonizing technoblade, but Everything about that scene was inward criticism for him. he’d tried to convince himself that if tubbo didn’t care about him (a lie that he never would’ve believed on his own, without dream and techno’s influence) then he wouldn’t care about tubbo either. and it’s even more telling that despite Everything tommy was still shocked to see tubbo giving up his disc, he thought he Could defend himself to tubbo, he thought he Could convince him. Tommy: “No no no no, you had to exile me. Don’t give him the disc cause as soon as we- as soon as we take down (…) we’ll be fine. We’ll be back.” Tubbo: “I don’t think that’s an option anymore.” tommy had been carrying the hope that they could stand up to dream If Only He Had His Discs this entire time, he’d been carrying the hope that tubbo was forced into doing it but that they’d be okay again as soon as they got rid of dream’s influence over l’manberg. but here was tubbo giving that chance up, here was tubbo verbally giving up on him. it’s only Here that dream and techno’s insistence that tubbo never cared sinks in, that tommy switches from trying to defend himself and reach out to tubbo to pushing him away. I’ve said it before but, “The discs were worth more than you ever were” was “you can’t hurt me by not caring about me because I don’t care about you either,” which tommy realized wasn’t true as soon as he said it, that it could Never be true. it didn’t matter if dream was right or if technoblade was right. tommy cared about tubbo no matter what and he’d give for him no matter what. he couldn’t Stand the person who’d say that to tubbo and mean it. he couldn’t Stand the person who’d hurt tubbo on purpose just because he was hurt. he Couldn’t abide by technoblade’s philosophy of revenge because he Cared about his friends and was only hurt in the process of hurting them. this was tommy’s wake up call about coping through aggression and anger. he realized that he Couldn’t like the person he was becoming and that if he went any further there was no going back for him. this was someone who was Already struggling with intense feelings of self-hatred, someone who’d joined technoblade and started this path in the direct aftermath of what was almost a suicide attempt. staying with technoblade at this point, letting l’manberg blow up while Everyone knew that he was aligned with techno, wouldn’t have done Anything good for his mental health. he was spiraling into self loathing Hard here, and what gets me is that he was completely honest with techno because he Trusted him. tommy has such a hard time talking about his feelings or his trauma, especially when they’re overwhelming. but techno had presented himself as someone that he could lean on while he was panicking, as someone who’d be understanding. compare “I’m worse than everyone I never wanted to be” to “Wilbur wasn’t so poggers” and you’ll see what I mean. it Kills me that tommy clearly trusted techno here only to be dropped like a hot potato and branded a traitor. only for techno to immediately turn around and partner with dream. tommy’s reaction here just wasn’t About techno, it wasn’t About whether he liked him or trusted him or believed in him, it was about how tommy saw himself. and both techno and the fandom twisted that.

[koreanmadeingreece]

Why, why, why

University student!Yuta x reader

Genre: slight enemies to lovers au, a bit of angst, a lot of fluff, and several mixups

Summary: You just got into uni and decided to move in with your childhood friend!Taeyong at the city where you are going to study. As you’re about to start your new, adult life, you meet his friends, and you realize that not everyone likes you. Nakamoto Yuta in particular almost seems like he hates you. 

A/N: In this fic, Jonghyun from NU’EST appears for a while (just to avoid confusion). Also, wow I never thought I’d post this. I hope you guys like it. 

Warnings: n/a

Part 1/? Next 

Starting a new life in a new city was not something easy, yet you were enthusiastic about it. You got to study the subject you wanted at your top-choice University, Film studies and screenwriting, and what made it even better was that Taeyong, your childhood friend ever since you remembered yourself, was at the very same city, studying Performance arts, with a focus on dance.

When he first found out that you were accepted, he immediately asked you to move in with him. You matched in a lot of things, so you wouldn’t have issues living together and you would most definitely feel completely at ease with each other’s presence. It was just perfect. So, when he told you he had found a bigger house with two bedrooms that would fit the both of you, you were extremely happy, especially since your parents said they would help with the rent. You were ready to pack our bags and send them to the new house, while Taeyong did the same with a little help from his friends. He had told you that, as soon as your plane arrived, he was going to pick you up and introduce you to them, as they’d help you clean the house as well.

The night before your flight, you sat with your parents in the living room since you wouldn’t see them for the next few months.

“Are you sure you don’t want us to come with you? We can book a ticket right now,” your mother told you as she held you in her arms.

“Mom, we’ve already sent my bags to the house, so you won’t need to help with anything. Plus, Taeyong will be there, and he said that his friends are going to help us clean the house. I’ll send you pictures when we’re done, and you can visit whenever you want.  Not too often though,” you said, making your mother laugh and kiss your cheek. Your father wasn’t talking much, but you knew he felt the same way. As time went by, you had to go to sleep, knowing that your flight was early in the morning, but realized that this wasn’t an option. You were clearly a bit stressed, considering that you were about to start a completely new life, and you were also excited, as it was going to be exactly like you wanted it to be. So, you texted Taeyong.

You: Can’t sleep.

TY: We have a lot of cleaning to do, so you should. I’m staying at Yuta’s tonight, since our house is a mess, and we’re picking you up tomorrow at 10. We’ll get some coffee and start immediately.

You:  We?

TY: Yuta has a car.

You: Oh, so he’ll be the first one I’ll meet. I just hope he and the rest of your friends will like me. I don’t want to bother, really.

TY: What are you talking about? You’ll be fine. They’ll love you. They’re cool. They won’t make you feel uncomfortable, trust me.

You: I just hope you’re right. The last thing I want is to be a burden.

TY: Just stop thinking about this and fall asleep. You’re saying nonsense. See you tomorrow.

The next morning, you were tired as hell. You had only slept four hours because of how stressed you were, but you weren’t going to let that get to you. You got dressed and grabbed the only bag you’d have with you on the plane and went to your parents. After taking a sip from your mom’s coffee and a slice of your grandma’s cake, you were ready to go. That plane wasn’t leaving without you.

You arrived at the airport and went to your gate. You texted Taeyong that the plane was leaving on time and boarded. You found your seat and put your earphones on, so that you could get some sleep for the next two hours.

When you landed and got off the plane, you found your way towards the exit, spotting Taeyong among the people waiting for their loved ones. He was talking to someone, whom you assumed was Yuta. As you were getting closer, you couldn’t help but think that he was cute, better than you had already seen in the pictures that Taeyong occasionally sent. You brushed the thought off and shouted at Taeyong, who ran towards you and hugged you with all his strength.

“I’ve missed you so much!” you said, squeezing him as well.

“I can’t wait to live with you, Y/N. We’re gonna have so much fun!” He kissed your cheek, which was something he did quite often throughout your friendship and took your bag from your shoulders.

“Taeyong, you don’t need to take it, really.”

“Ah, come on, I know you haven’t slept, and this is my hospitality before we actually arrive home, where both of us will work our butts off. But first, coffee.” He started walking, until he heard your voice stopping him.

“Uh, aren’t you forgetting something?”

“No, I don’t think- oh my god! This is Yuta!” he exclaimed, and Yuta chuckled. “Yuta, this is Y/N.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” he said, extending his arm for a handshake.

“It’s nice to meet you too. I’ve heard so much about you, although I’m sure Taeyong hasn’t told me enough,” you laughed, hoping you’d made a good first impression.

“Honestly, I hoped he hadn’t said too much, so that we can get to know each other from the start, without any influences. He has seen me drunk, you know.”

“He has seen me drunk too, and don’t worry about it. Whatever you’ve done can’t be worse than mine. I’m a flirty drunk,” you reassured him.

“Okay, come on people. We have to get going. You’ll get to know each other over coffee and cleaning rugs, I promise.” Taeyong said, and you both laughed, heading towards the car.

Yuta led you to his car and you sat at the back seat, Taeyong taking the front. It didn’t take long for him to start humming one of your favorite songs, “Baby don’t stop”, and you couldn’t help but sing along.

“Stop, baby don’t stop,” you sang, and Taeyong continued.

“Ah, you listen to this kind of music too,” Yuta said when the two of you stopped.

“Are you kidding me? I taught him this kind of music. It was one of the first songs I made him listen to.”

“And I haven’t stopped listening to it ever since.” Taeyong laughed. “And you used to make fun of me with it every time I had a date.”

“I’m not regretting doing that anytime soon, Taeyong,” you smiled, and Yuta kept driving. The car stopped as you reached a coffee shop and Taeyong left to get coffee for everyone.

“Extra sugar!” you shouted out of the window and he nodded.

“You drink your coffee like that too? Ah, and I thought Taeyong was the only messed up person I knew,” Yuta said.

“Ah, why? Coffee needs to be sweet for me to enjoy. Do you like it black?”

“I do. I really don’t see why you need so much sugar to enjoy it. I always gave Taeyong a hard time about it, but now you’re two.” He was looking straight ahead while saying that and you let him be without responding, until your friend came back with the coffee.

As soon as the car stopped again, you knew you had arrived at your new house. Taeyong turned to you, wide smile on his face, with a set of keys in hand. “These are yours.” You left the car and followed Taeyong to the door. He let you unlock, as he had already seen it, and you were ecstatic to see where you were going to live from now on. You moved forward to the small but cozy living room and, when you made sure the kitchen was all good, you ran to the two bedrooms.

“Oh my god, Taeyong, it’s so pretty!” you exclaimed, as you also saw that there wouldn’t be any problems in choosing the bedrooms, as they were almost the same. “Just like I saw it in the pictures!”

“I’d never find a bad home for us, Y/N. We have so many years of uni together.” He shared your enthusiasm, you could see it, so you hugged him again. “It needs a lot of cleaning, though.”

“We’ll do that in no time,” you heard Yuta say.

“Ah, you’re already here. And you brought Y/N’s stuff,” Taeyong pointed out.

“Thanks a lot, really. For everything.” You turned to him.

“I’d do anything for a friend,” he gestured at Taeyong, who was already in the kitchen, taking sips of his coffee.

“I’m sure he’d do the same,” you smiled and went towards the kitchen to get started, when you heard something that you thought wasn’t supposed to be heard.

“Would he?”

[whump-a-la-mode]

Nemesis - Part 8

This one is... something. I was supposed to be asleep hours ago. The sun has come up. But it was all more than worth it, and now I am going to pass out.

Based on votes from last time, option B was chosen-- speak to Leader and Hacker. There’s going to be a little flip in allegiances this time around, and some questions will finally be answered! The choose your own adventure aspect is going to be a bit different too, this time around, but more detail about that at the end.

For now, I hope you enjoy!

CW//Drugged whumpee, confusion, nightmares, past trauma, murder, strangled to death, minor body horror (shapeshifting)

The wave of cool water felt heavenly as it washed over Villain’s throat. Even as the movement exhausted them, they drank every drop as if it would be their last, and, when the last drop was at last reached, they whined.

“There you go.”

The voice felt closer, this time, coming from behind only one layer of fog rather than a thousand. It was close, just like the warm hand, wrapped around their shoulders, keeping them upright.

Everything was so warm...

“Hero... Hero warm...”

A slight chuckle replied to that, the hand on their back gently rubbing between their shoulder blades. Making them feel like they had blood, like there was something inside them other than dry ice.

They had been so cold, just a moment ago, mind spiraling with something... something bad. What had it been? Had it been anything at all?

Did it matter, now that Hero was here?

“Yeah. Hero warm. Are you warm enough?”

“Mhm.” They purred. The silk webbing wrapping around them, that which had once been uncomfortable, restraining, now felt so soft. They could sink into it forever...

“Do you need anything?”

“Tired.”

“You want to go back to bed?”

“Yeah. Hero stay...”

“Yeah. Yeah, Hero stay.”

“Okay. Goodnight, Hero.”

“Yeah. Goodnight, Villain.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 

The warm body in Hero’s arms, hardly recognizable beneath layers of fleece and fabrics, took only a moment to turn heavy and limp, breathing slowly until it was only shown by the slow rise and fall of their chest.

Even as exhaustion tugged at their own limbs, even as they wanted more than anything to curl up in those blankets themself, they knew they couldn’t. Hero couldn’t stay.

As gently as they could manage, given Villain’s limp weight, they laid their ward down on their side. The unconscious person murmured and twitched as the blankets were readjusted, but did not stir.

Villain was comfortable. Villain was safe. That was what mattered. Even though...

Hero took their phone from their pocket, flinching at the blazing screen light.

Seven in the morning. They had hoped to be able to claim a few hours of rest alongside Villain, but their own worry had made that impossible. Now, it was already morning.

Hell, they were supposed to be eating with their team by six thirty. Yet, no one had knocked to awake them, yet.

Hero hauled themself to their feet, limbs aching and joints popping all the way. They hardly registered the chill beneath their feet as they made their way to the door.

Only for it to nearly slam into them. They leapt backwards, barely catching themself.

“Oh, shit, sorry!” Leader’s wide eyes showed that they had been expecting Hero just as much as they had been expecting them. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, you didn’t hit me.”

“Good.” Their gaze cast downwards, to the item carried in their arms-- a platter of food. Fortunately, none had fallen.

“Is that for Villain?”

“No, dimwit. I don’t think they could get anything down if you forced it down their throat. This is for you.”

“Oh.”

“When is the last time you ate?”

“Um...”

“Lunch yesterday, got it.”

“It’s... Isn’t everyone else already eating?”

“They’re already done. I told them you needed your rest. Thought you’d prefer eating in here.”

Hero shook their head, pointing back at the snoring pile of blankets.

“Can’t wake them up.”

“Oh.”

“I can just, um, eat out there.”

“No, you’re going to-” Leader bit their tongue, reformulating their sentence. “Um, how about you come and eat with me in my office? I haven’t eaten yet, either.”

Hero was in no way used to such a delicately formatted request.

“Sure.”

“Alright.” Leader nodded, handing over the platter, which they gratefully took. The two moved out of the room-- the former taking surprising care to close the door gently, so as to not make any noise.

The common room was deserted, thank the heavens. There were no distractions as they moved to Leader’s office. The chairs still hadn’t moved since their discussion last night. Hero sat.

“So...” Leader maneuvered around their side of their desk, seating themself. “How did you sleep?”

“Didn’t.”

“Not at all?”

“Maybe a bit. I’m not sure. Villain woke up and...” They trailed off.

“And?”

Leader had no need to know of Villain’s words.

“I had to get them back to sleep. They drank some water, too.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah.” Hero perked their ears, hearing a noise beyond the office door. “I’m surprised that they’re leaving us alone.”

“I told them to.” Leader speared a chunk of scrambled eggs with a fork, raising it to their lips.

The events of last night came flooding back.

“What did you tell them? What did you tell everyone? I thought they’d have been all over me once they knew I came back. They do know, right?”

“They certainly wanted to bother you.” Leader swallowed the chunk of egg. “I didn’t let them.”

“So they do know?”

“Kinda.” They straightened themself, playing with the food upon their plate momentarily. “I told them that I came back last night, and found you here. As far as they know, you escaped on your own, and Villain’s whereabouts are unknown.”

“And they believed you?”

“I think they were just glad to know that you were okay. And, y’know, not dead. You’re probably going to get hounded with questions later, but, for now, I made it very clear that you’re to be left alone.”

“Thank you.” Hero spoke half-breathlessly.

“It’s not a problem. You’re officially relieved of mission duty until you’ve recovered.”

“R-Really?”

“You need to rest. Even if you aren’t injured, you’re exhausted.”

“Yeah...”

“So, until you’re feeling better, let me handle that.” They took another bite, making Hero note the fact that they hadn’t so much as looked at their own food. Even the thought of eating something made their stomach twist.

“Thank you.”

“Really, it’s fine. So... How is our, y’know, secret?”

“Villain?”

“Duh.”

“They’re... they’re fine, I think. Still out of it. But, like I said, I got them to drink some water. And they seemed to recognize me.”

“They didn’t recognize you before?”

“No. I don’t think so, at least. They were really out of it.”

“Are you ever planning on telling me what happened to them?”

Hero had almost forgotten that Leader was in the dark about the whole thing. Yet, they were being so trusting. Hell, they hadn’t even trusted Hero when they hadn’t been lying to them.

“Um...”

“You don’t have to.”

It was the first time they’d ever heard Leader string those particular words together.

“But, I would like to know. You need your rest, and Villain needs a caretaker. I was a nurse once, y’know.”

“You were?”

“I don’t know if your surprise should insult me. But, yes. I can keep watch over them while you sleep, but it would help if I actually knew what was wrong with them.”

“Yeah.” Hero scratched the back of their neck. “Thing is, um, I don’t really know?”

“Well, you said they were drugged, right?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know that for sure.”

“Do you know what with?”

“About that...”

Leader raised a brow.

Hero let their next words tumble out of their lips like a waterfall, unable to stop once it had begun to flow.

“Villain has been kept sedated to unconsciousness for the last year. They were supposed to be rehabilitated, but they were drugged instead. I don’t know why.”

Leader dropped their fork.

“Oh.”

“I don’t know what drugs they were given. Just that they were sedated.”

“I see. How did... How did they leave the rehab facility.”

Hero diverted their gaze.

“That’s not really important.”

A sigh.

“Okay. We can talk about that later. Thank you, for telling me. Was there... Was there a reason? They wouldn’t just be drugged for no reason.”

Hero shrugged helplessly.

“I don’t know.”

Leader bit their lip.

“With everything going on recently, I hesitate to ignore the possibility that Director had something to do with it.”

“You really think so?”

“Maybe. You aren’t planning on eating, are you?”

“I...” Hero felt their face flush. “I don’t feel too well.”

“That’s fine. I’ll clean up. You go get your rest, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I’ll keep everyone away from your room. And, Hero?”

“Yeah?”

“Sleep in your own bed. I can keep an eye on Villain.”

“Thank you.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 

Collapsing onto their own bed felt like falling onto a cloud. The mattress curved, shifting to cradle their aching body. For a moment, Hero could not help but nestle themself in it, letting their pillow almost envelope their head.

Birds had long since begun their outside chirping, but that was inconsequential. At that point, Hero could have slept through an earthquake.

But, apparently, not through a phone call.

The ringing noise jolted them from their blissful repose. Without thought, their hand blindly searched for the vibrating device on their nightstand. They blinked against the screen’s bright light.

Hacker. A wave of relief filled their chest-- they were okay. Without thought, they accepted the call, placing the phone to their ear.

“Hero?”

“Yep. Hey, Hacker.”

“Oh, thank god you’re alright! Though you do sound a little bit like garbage.”

“Hey.”

“I’m just saying, just saying. Oh, you have no idea how worried I was. The news only just broke this morning. I could hardly sleep, last night.”

“I thought you were like, nocturnal.”

A stutter.

“I mean, you kept me up all day, so. You know how it is. But I’m just really glad. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m okay. Just tired.”

“You must be. The news... that wasn’t right, was it? They said you escaped from Villain.”

“The reports are wrong. I never got captured in the first place. But, I’m just fine.”

“I’m glad to hear it. How is...”

“Villain?”

“Yeah.”

“Fine. Really out of it, but fine.”

“That’s good. Look, I know you’re tired, but I just found something that... Well, I think you’re really gonna want to hear it.”

“What is it?”

“Not here. Not over the phone. Too dangerous.”

“You want to meet up again?”

“Mhm.”

“Are you sure that’s, like, a good idea?”

“Not in public like before. That wouldn’t be good for either of us, I don’t think. But I know another place.”

“Oh?”

“It’s, um, so, this is gonna sound bad. It’s this abandoned warehouse thing. And I know that sounds sketchy as hell, but it’s fine, I promise. I’ve been to a few parties there. The underground kind of people use it a lot, so it’s perfectly safe.”

“Um... Okay. Where is it?”

“Ashworth, on the East side. It’s pretty obvious once you see it, but the number on it is 62.”

“You’re sure this is a good idea?”

“Yeah. It’s not exactly, like, it’s abandoned, but there’s parties there all the time. And it should be empty during the day. How fast can you get there?”

“Um...” Hero blinked with leaden eyelids. “Does it have to be right now?”

“I guess it could wait. Why?”

“I feel like I’m going to collapse. I’m exhausted, Hacker.”

“Oh. How about tonight?”

“Tonight is fine.”

“Does eight sound good?”

“Mhm.”

“Okay. Uh, sleep well.”

“Yeah. Thank you.”

And, with a collapse onto their pillow and the click of a hung-up phone call, Hero was out.

Yet, as they fell into unconsciousness, a single thought couldn’t help but worm its way into their consciousness:

Hacker hated other people. They wouldn’t be caught dead going to a party.

━���━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 

“Villain?”

It was a soft voice, yet marked with a distinctively higher pitch. Villain stirred, kicking at their layers of blankets.

“Hey, Villain. Can you open your mouth for me?”

The voice was odd, yet warm. They blinked their eyes open, letting the world come into focus around them.

A figure, kneeled down in front of them. A face...

They knew that face.

Someone familiar. Someone they’d fought before...

Leader. Why was Leader here?

“You need to open your mouth for me, okay?” It was Leader’s voice, but not their tone. It shouldn’t have been that soft, right? Or maybe their memories were simply foggy.

Regardless, they allowed their jaw to fall open. The taste of plastic filled their mouth as an eyedropper was placed upon their tongue, followed by the bitter taste of medicine, sliding down their throat. Villain struggled to cough up the liquid, but their jaw was gently held in position until they had swallowed every last drop.

“There.” The taste of plastic retreated, disappearing as a few sips of water were washed down after. “Thank you.”

“W- What is...”

“It’s gonna make all that drug withdrawal easier.”

The face went out of focus, replaced by a black dot, in the center of Villain’s vision. A spoon.

“Can you look at this?” A fingernail tapped the plastic dinnerware. They nodded.

Slowly, at first, the spoon began to move. First left to right, then up and down, before moving around more erratically. After a few moments, Villain blinked, shaking their head, eyes exhausted.

“Thank you.” The spoon lowered out of view. “You’re gonna need a bit more time to recover, but you’re getting there. Do you want to go back to sleep?”

“Mhm.”

“Okay. Goodnight, hun.”

Villain let their heavy eyelids fall closed, barely registering as their blankets were tucked back in around their chest. Warmth enveloped them, mind wrapped in blissful heat, until...

Chill. An unmistakable chill biting their skin, nipping at their reddened nose. They blinked, rubbing their eyes with one hand, the world around them taking shape.

Taking shape...

Taking the wrong shape.

Where were...

They blinked once more, their surroundings coming into focus. Far more focus than their vision had permitted them in a very, very long time.

The building before them was large enough to block out the sun.

It could only be described as a brick-- that was what it was, a brick of concrete, marked by little more than faded graffiti and tattered signs that may have once warned against trespassing. The only marking that remained clearly visible was the number-- the building number, sticking out in brown-painted metal.

62.

Villain felt bile rise in their throat. They knew exactly where they were. The car they’d used to get here was only a minute’s walk away. They needed to get to it, to run, to turn and leave as fast their legs would take them. This was it! Their second chance! Their chance to leave, to make everything right again. To unmake the decision that had ruined them.

But they could not turn. Their legs would not move under their command, instead, alien limbs began to move forward. Towards the building’s entrance.

No, no, please no!

They needed to turn, to leave, but...

They did not have the power to make that decision. They could only watch.

Why had they been here in the first place? All that time ago... To confront someone. To find Supervillain. They’d done something. Hurt someone, maybe?

Panic twisted their thoughts far too much to allow them to focus on such far-away memories. The panic of moving, moving eternally forwards. To the entrance, through the doorway.

Into the warehouse.

Inside was terribly dark, small slivers of light illuminating only an expanse of boxes long since left abandoned, their cargo doomed to rot. They had never understood why Supervillain spent so much time here. Certainly they could have found a better hideout.

But, Supervillain was strange. No one understood them.

They were here, though. Villain could feel them, hear heavy breathing, sense the way their presence disrupted the psychic landscape around.

Villain stilled.

Leave. Turn around. Go! It’s not worth it, they begged themself. But...

But their hand reached for their pocket, producing a phone in trembling hands. They tapped the screen, activating the flashlight, flooding the concrete floor with illumination.

However, they hardly needed the light to remember what came next. The image would never leave their mind, they were certain of it. Never remove itself from where it was burned irreversibly into their corneas.

One figure, leaned over another. Holding them to the ground.

Hands over their neck.

If Director had at any point struggled, their straining had long since ceased. The only sign of life they displayed came in the way they weakly kicked against Supervillain’s unyielding grip.

Villain was not the one being strangled, but they could not breathe even so.

“Who the hell is there?” The voice, that furious, terrible tone, echoed off of every concrete wall and rotten crate.

Supervillain looked up from their victim, gaze meeting that of their newfound witness.

“Who!”

Villain’s legs went stock-still. They could have run, at any point, they could have run, they could have run.

But...

Director stopped struggling. Supervillain stood, rolling out their shoulders.

For a moment, their body twisted, snapping and curling in on itself. Bones morphing, shrinking or extending, muscles rearranging themselves in a horrible scene.

Villain had forgotten just how horrible it was, to watch Supervillain use their powers.

When, at last, their transformation was complete, Villain was staring back at the living face of Director.

Cold, grey eyes met theirs.

“Villain?”

Supervillain, the new Director, grumbled, moving over to the corpse of their victim. Prying a walkie-talkie from their belt.

Holding it to their own mouth.

“Hello, HQ? I’m going to need some backup, here.”

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Inside the warehouse was terribly dark.

Hero’s legs felt nearly numb, wandering within, only the slightest slivers of light able to creep in through the door. They walked by those shreds of light, though they hardly did so much as allowing them to see their own feet before them.

Still, they walked. The building smelled terribly of rotten wood.

“Hacker?” Their voice echoed off of every concrete wall and rotten crate. “Are you here?”

“Over here.” The voice called from the other side of the building-- how had they gotten all the way over there?

“Where? Is there a light in this place?”

“It’s been abandoned for half a century. No, there are no lights. Doesn’t your phone have a flashlight?”

“Oh. Yeah.” Hero fumbled in their own pocket for a moment, taking out the device. Even with the flashlight, however, the darkness still seemed to envelope the whole world. They cast the beam of illumination around, scanning, yet finding nothing but crates and graffiti. “Where are you? I can’t see you.”

“Here.”

A figure stepped out from behind a support beam. Hacker’s small frame looked even more minuscule, surrounded by crates twice their height. They were half-hidden by an oversized hoodie, yet, their hood was not pulled up.

They always pulled their hood up.

Hero shook their head. They were being paranoid.

“I’m so glad to see you’re, like, alive.” Hacker smiled, approaching at a quick clip. Their laptop bag was hung across their chest, bouncing with their movements. “You aren’t hurt or anything, right?”

“No.” Hero shook their head, moving forward to meet their friend in the middle of the building. “I’m okay.”

“That’s too bad.”

“What?” Hero rubbed an ear-- had they heard wrong?

“I always heard you were a fucking idiot. Guess I just never realized to what extent.”

That... That was not Hacker’s voice.

Hero took a step back, a chill filling their chest.

Hacker’s form quickly began to fill their formerly oversized hoodie as, below them, their legs extended with a horrid noise of cracking and popping. Their facial features did the same, shifting as though molded in putty.

Director was taller than Hero.

Hero gulped.

Director took a step forth-- polished shoes clacking against concrete. How had Hero not noticed the shoes? Hacker would never wear something like that.

They...

Director held out a hand. To shake.

Hero raised an upper lip, baring their teeth.

“Where is Hacker?”

Laughter echoed against the walls.

“That’s what you’re worried about, right now?”

“They’re my friend!” Hero stomped. “And a civilian. Don’t bring them into this.”

Director smirked.

“I assure you, your friend is fine.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“Well, right now, you’re going to have to.”

Hero took another step back, turning to run, already feeling their heartbeat elevate to a quick tattoo in their throat.

But...

There was nowhere to go.

“I didn’t bring you here for no reason, dear.”

There must have been a dozen of them, if not more. A dozen figures, scattered in loose formation, blocking the entrance. Surrounding them.

Hero spun back around. They were there now, behind Director, too.

And they knew every last face. Every reformed villain. Every rehab center graduate.

They gulped.

“Now.”

Hero didn’t realize how close Director had gotten, not until they laid a massive hand upon their shoulder.

“We are going to talk.”

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Thanks so much for reading! This time, the choices are going to be a bit different. In the way of, there are no choices! At least, none that I am coming up with. You guys have given so many amazing suggestions in the past, so I thought, how about you suggest what happens next in our story.

Instead of giving you guys choices, its up to you to decide what our Hero will do next. If you really like another person’s suggestion, you can vote for it! Otherwise, I will choose what I find the most interesting.

I’m hoping that this will be fun. If it proves to be difficult/complicated/etc, I can certainly add choices, but I thought I’d do something a bit different this time around ^^