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neowinestainedress · 3 years ago

Text

tulip

all’s well that ends well to end up with you :

↳ part 5 (finale) | part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

title: tulip

pairings: jeong jaehyun x oc x suh johnny x lee taeyong x nakamoto yuta

summary: Putting back what’s broken is not easy, but with time, love and patience, you can mend the wounds, and find out that no night is too dark if you have your stars shining on you. After everything, all’s well that ends well.

genre: established relationship au, getting together au, enemies to friends to lovers au, mutual pining, poly relationship, fluff, smut, light angst, model!jaehyun, photographer!johnny, teacher!taeyong, journalist!yuta

warnings: smut, unprotected sex, sex with multiple partners, slight body worship, morning sex, fivesome, outdoor sex (not public), pool sex, oral sex (f&m), anal sex (f), double penetration, rough sex, some biting, praise kink, dirty talk, some degradation, use of sir/daddy (count 2 for the last, some more for sir), gag (panties, fingers, tie/ f&m), exhibitionism, face sitting, soft sex (wow), threesome, edging, orgasm control/denial, minor use of handcuffs, pet names, minor pet play (collar, leash, and they call her kitten), use of sex toy (vibrator), fingering, mirror sex, dry humping, spit (once), dacryphilia, slight dumbification/dollification, minor choking, dom!jaehyun, dom!johnny, dom!yuta, sub!taeyong (with a twist), switch!oc | Idk what to say except this is pure filth and domestic fluff (tiny little bit of angst just at the start I promise). If I missed something – I surely did – let me know

word count: 65.458k

taglist: @nz06s @thelmathinks @leighsoo @adorejaehyn @fersuh @amour-quinn

a/n: Can’t believe that a self-indulgent smut fic written last year led here but here we are with the last part of this series that has my whole heart. I edited this, but since it’s so long there might be some mistakes. Hope you enjoy! And if you want give feedback, it would mean a lot to know what you think about it.

When Taeyong opened the front door, the house was silent, and all the lights were off. He couldn’t sleep out. He was freaked out by everything. And even if this didn’t feel as safe as it was before, it was safer than the outer world.

He left his things next to the door and then walked into the kitchen to drink some water. He had spent the whole day smoking, he felt like he was going to pass out at any time.

“You’re back,” Jaehyun’s voice echoed in the room and made him turn around.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up,” Taeyong replied, not looking at him in the eyes. He just couldn’t. He was hurt, but he knew he had hurt Jaehyun too, and he hated himself when he acted like this, but it was getting too much.

“I wasn’t sleeping. I couldn’t sleep not knowing where you were,” he replied, leaning against the frame of the door and scanning the other up and down to make sure he wasn’t hurt.

Taeyong’s heart skipped a beat. So, he still cared about him?

“I’m fine,” yet, he answered with a distant tone, trying to push down his throat the gulp that was making it hard to breathe.

“Is it true?” The younger asked, voice trembling. He had been thinking about Johnny’s words the whole afternoon, until now, not a single reassuring word that came out of Jade’s mouth actually worked to put his mind at ease. And he just wanted to take two steps forward to hug Taeyong and tell him that in his heart there was always going to be a place for him, and nobody could push him out of it, but he knew Taeyong wouldn’t have listened. He was mad at him. Hated him, probably.

“What?”

“That you… you want to put an end to all of this? To us?” The words struggled to come out of his throat, saying them out loud pained him, never imagining what they had could ever come to this. Never imagining they could’ve walked on such a fragile thin line.

Taeyong stilled. He had said that in the heat of the moment. He didn’t think Johnny would take it seriously. He didn’t think he would come home and tell them.

“I — I, no, I said that because I was angry. I don’t want us to end,” Taeyong explained, turning around, finally meeting Jaehyun’s sad eyes.

“But we’re suffocating you.”

Taeyong sniffled. “This situation is suffocating me. I want this to end. I want to be happy, I don’t want to be so susceptible, so fucking hard to be with, but I, I can’t control it. It gets on my nerves when you fight so much for him when he could be one of the biggest reasons we lost our little paradise. I’m not mad at you for loving him, I’m mad at you for still siding with him.”

Jaehyun lowered his head. He wanted to tell him that he was siding with him simply because they had no real proof it was him. But he didn’t want to fight again. He didn’t call Yuta at the end. He had no idea what to say and for the conditions he was in, he rather not to. He didn’t want to make it worst.

“It’ll be over soon. They’ll track him down, and then we can sue him,” he replied instead. It was the only thing he could promise him because there was no sight of a newfound grace for them. He wondered if once this was over, they were still going to be together. “Johnny’s bed is free. I’m sleeping with Jade,” were the last words he added before smiling briefly at him and turning around.

“’Right,” Taeyong replied and then watched him go back to sleep.

He rested on the table and sighed. He knew Jaehyun wanted Yuta to don’t be the cause of all of this, and to be honest, Taeyong hoped it too. But there was no way it wasn’t him.

“God, it’s early in the morning, what the fuck,” Jaehyun whined as he stretched his arm out to look for his phone on the bedside table.

Jade stretched and then whispered, “Maybe it’s important.”

Jaehyun huffed and then grabbed the phone, answering without even checking who it was.

“Hi, Jaehyun. Sorry for the time but we found something we think you might want to know.”

Shit, his lawyer. He immediately sat up straight and felt a lump form in his throat after he coughed to shake the sleep off his voice.

“No worries. You found out who it is?”

“Well, we tracked the account and if that makes you feel better, it’s not Yuta’s phone. So, unless he used a different device in a different area from where he lives, it’s not him.”

“You’re not sure?”

“Well, according to the data it wasn’t him writing those things, but we cannot know if he sent the information to somebody else. You really think it’s him?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think he would, but… Taeyong’s right, there are things only we knew.”

“Have you talked to him? The creep said he’s only going to talk in court, but that’s not happening anytime soon. I don’t think you want to keep this up with him, and it would be so much easier if he simply confessed.”

“I didn’t. But I’ll try to reach for him. Anything else?”

“One tweet was sent from the same phone, but from Yuta’s workplace. Do you think somebody else could’ve used his relationship with you to make him talk?”

Jaehyun furrowed. “Well, I don’t know. But that could be possible. I’ll talk to him and let you know.”

“Fine. Let’s keep each other updated.”

Jaehyun sighed. Well, that was a relief, right? He hoped so. He really hoped it wasn’t him.

“So? News?” Jade asked, looking at him, elbows supporting her body up.

“It’s not him, or better, the tweets are not trackable to his phone or the area where he lives.”

“Well, that’s good,” she said, sitting up next to him, caressing his back. Finally good news, finally they could put an end to this break between them and be all together.

“I guess. But we need to talk to him, because somehow someone had to come in contact with this information, and we need to find him. That asshole won’t talk until the trial starts.”

“Call him now,” she proposed, resting her head against his arm.

“It’s early. He already hates me enough.”

“I’m sure he won’t mind. We need to fix this. I don’t want him to be alone if he didn’t do anything.”

Jaehyun chuckled and then smirked. “So, Yong’s right. You like him.”

Jade huffed, rolling her eyes. “I care about him. And now hurry, call him.”

“But what do I say?”

“That he needs to come over because we need to talk.”

“That’s harsh.”

“Do you want me to talk to him?”

“No, I’ll do it myself. I don’t trust you,” he replied before looking for his contact and pressing the button to call him.

“Jaehyun?” Yuta’s sleepy voice seemed almost surprised of hearing him.

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“Oh, what do — why are you calling? To sue me?”

“No, I wanted to talk to you. We wanted to talk to you.”

“In front of a lawyer? You still think I did it?”

“We don’t, we — my lawyer called, we have news, but I need to see you and we need to talk. Last time was awful and I’m sorry but with him it’s, I mean, try to understand us it was… you were, you know, I—”

Jade rolled her eyes and then snatched the phone from his hand. “Hey, it’s me, Jade. We need you to come here because we need to talk between grown-ups and in whatever way this is going to end, we need to do this like adults, not whiny bitches. We’ll talk better about everything when you come here, okay? Before eleven? Are you free? Around ten?”

“Yes, yes, I can come over.”

“Great, we’re waiting for you.”

“You hang up,” Jaehyun said surprised.

“Yeah, he’s coming here and there’s no need to make it worse through a phone. You’ll talk to him in four hours.”

He huffed, running a hand on his face. “What if Taeyong’s not okay with this?”

“He will. If he wants us to go over this mess, we need to confront Yuta. I don’t care about anything else. Breakfast?”

“No, I want to stay in your arms, it’s early,” he whined and dragged her back into the bed.

“We have to get up,” she mumbled against his hair, fingers caressing his nape, scratching lightly.

“Not now, just ten minutes more. I miss this.”

“I never left.”

“I know, but this seems a little bit more normal.”

If it wasn’t for the problems between them, he couldn’t hide that the backlash kind of slowed down. People were already bored by that. It had been like four weeks since the bomb dropped and three since he released the statement, and the comments were almost all positive. Actually, people wanted him to show them, wanted him to go back to posting on social media, but he simply didn’t feel like it. He knew he was free now, somehow, but he wanted to protect them, and he wasn’t in the mood to pretend to be playing at the little perfect family. They were wrecked. And he didn’t want to fake it. He didn’t want the world to think that all of that didn’t have an impact on their lives, because it did.

His career was on the line. Johnny’s too. Jade didn’t even try to open the DMS for possible inquiries because even her professional account and email were filled with awful comments. And well, Taeyong’s job was long gone. They didn’t even celebrate his birthday.

“You want cuddles and kisses?” She cooed, leaving a peck on his nose.

“I want to take you away from here when this is over. I just need to know it’s not Yuta, and then I want to take you away. I promised you I would take you to Paris and I still didn’t.”

“It’s fine, we can go somewhere more refreshing than another city. Maybe an island in Greece? Or Capri? Or I don’t know, somewhere north, like Sweden.”

“I don’t care as long as I have all of you in my life. I swear it kills me fighting with Taeyong. I don’t know why he always hurt me so much, I hate it.”

“We’ll go somewhere, and I’m sure we’ll be alright. We needed a break anyway. Sure, maybe not like this, but let’s try to make the best out of this situation.”

Jaehyun hummed and then nuzzled closer to her, hands kneading in the soft flesh of her body. “You know I love you, right? And I don’t think what they say about you or the comparisons they make. You know no model comes close to you in my eyes, right?” He was so caught up with him and Taeyong and Yuta that he never stopped to check her up and how badly all this hate made the confidence she had built over the years fall apart.

“I know, I actually shut my phone because I didn’t want to read anything.” She couldn’t lie, Taeyong saying all those things to her face hurt her. She didn’t want to know. She was more than conscious of herself.

“Yeah, but it’s not true. Not even all those models are perfect, not even me. I just, hate it because you compare yourself to something that is fake. Our skin is not so perfect, and the diet we follow, especially the one they make women follow, just… fucks them up.” He loved his job, but he couldn’t turn blind eyes to all the problems that run in the industry.

“You can admit they’re better than me, it’s fine,” she whispered, chuckling lowly.

“They’re not. They’re beautiful, but just because they are, it doesn’t mean you’re not.”

“Can I ask you a thing?”

He hummed, raising his gaze to stare at her.

“What made you fall for me?”

“Your energy. The enthusiasm you carry around you. The love, the harmony. You’re calming, and I always found comfort in you. Well, even if I tried to push you away. But you were like the waves of the sea when they meet the shore, that sound.”

“You’re so fucking cheesy, God. I regret asking.”

“But it’s true. I mean, when you lose your temper it’s a tragedy, but when nobody gets on your nerves, you’re really lovely.”

She laughed, throwing her head back for a split moment, hand still caressing his hair, and then asked him. “And that’s it? Nothing else?”

He huffed and then said, “you wanted me to talk about your body, I know, but I didn’t fall for that. That doesn’t mean you’re ugly, that’s attraction. It’s different.”

“Yeah, but when we simply fucked there must’ve been a part of me that made you go crazy.”

“Your lips.”

Jade rolled her eyes. “Seriously?”

“I’d say everything, but if I say that then you’d say that I’m fake and I’m saying it just because, so I went for them. Just ‘cause I’d spend eternity kissing them. I mean, I would also spend eternity cupping your ass but that’s not romantic.”

Jade laughed and pushed him away. “You’re an idiot.”

“Oh, bonus, your belly.”

Jade quirked a brow. “Really? Tell me this has nothing to do with what I think it does?”

Jaehyun chuckled. “It’s just, the whole area, your waist, your stomach,” he replied, resting his hand there. “It’s perfect…”

“Perfect for what, honey?” She teased, running her fingers on his chest.

“Don’t make me go there. It’s not the right time to talk about that.”

She laughed. “You used to talk about it quite often back then.”

“It was just the two of us, of course. I always imagined my life to be socially accepted and not this,” he giggled.

“How many did you want?”

“Are we seriously having that talk?”

She hummed. “Yeah, why not? It’s just a talk.”

“Mh, two,” he replied with no hesitation, that was something he had always imagined, to be honest. His mind was pretty made up about his future, and then nothing went as planned, but it was fine, it was probably even better than what he had imagined.

“Two? Umh, a boy and a girl, I guess.”

“As if you can choose.”

“I know you can’t but, just hypothetically, in the dream world. In the white picket fences reality.”

“Yes, there, I wanted a boy and a girl. You?”

“I don’t know. I’ve always been divided between the urge to not have a family with kids, terrified I’d end up like my mom, and the urge of being a mother just to prove to myself I could be better than her, trying to fix my inner child by being a better mom. I always dreamed of being the comfort place for my kids… but what if I won’t be good?”

“I’m sure you’ll be an amazing mother if you’ll ever want to. I don’t know how it will work in this, but… who knows.”

“Three, by the way. I always pictured myself with three kids, and a cat.”

Jaehyun smiled, caressing her cheek. “In a white house?”

“Yes. With swings outside and all those cliché things.”

He hummed, loving the idea, no matter how obvious it was. “Maybe we can start from the house, and a cat, maybe.”

“We need to find another one,” she whined. They even lost the house in all of that. Of course, they did. Not a single thing worked in their lives in the last weeks.

“We’ll find a better one. With a pool, and a window on the sink. I’ll give that window to you, I promise.”

Jade laughed. “Oh, I’ll move out of here immediately.”

“You’ll love it more than you love me.”

“Yeah, probably,” she joked, before kissing him. “Feeling better?”

He hummed and then kissed her again. He had no idea how long it had been since they’d been so intimate. So close without fears.

“God, I love your skin,” he moaned, pulling her closer, hands creeping under her clothes, kneading the flesh of her ass.

A moan rolled out of her lips and got trapped in his mouth as their hips rolled against each other.

“I want you,” he whispered, moving his hand up to play with her nipple, making her squirm.

“We have to get ready,” she complained, trying to fight the urge of giving in.

“It’s early, we can be quick.”

“I don’t want to be quick,” she complained, locking her fingers in his hair and pulling him close.

“Then we can take our time.”

“We can’t.”

“Nobody’s rushing us,” he said. “For once nobody’s rushing us.”

“But the others —”

“They’re sleeping.”

“And Yuta.”

“It’s soon, please, just,” he whispered, starting to kiss her neck and then move his fingers on her clit, still covered with the panties. “Let me take care of you. Let me make you feel good.”

“God,” she moaned, lolling her head back. “Fuck it,” she whimpered and then kissed him back with more hunger, letting her hand travel south to tease his hardening dick.

Jaehyun smirked. “I love it when you just snap and lose your mind.”

“I just miss you.”

“Lay on your back, love,” he ordered, moving back to let her position herself and then lifted the fabric of her nightgown off her head and uncovered her body.

“You’re so perfect,” Jaehyun moaned, lost in thoughts as he stared at her body.

She rolled her eyes and covered her chest and Jaehyun glared at her. “Don’t roll your eyes at me, especially when I’m complimenting you.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“You are beautiful,” he remarked and then leaned down to kiss her neck and then down to suck her nipples, making her moan lowly. “I love your boobs so much, they’re so pretty, fuck,” he praised, without stopping playing with them with his lips and hands.

“Just fuck me.”

“No, you said you wanted to take it slow. And we’re taking it slow,” he replied, going back down to suck her nipple, making her squirm and whimper underneath him.

He pulled away and took off his clothes before leaning down close to her.

“Part your legs, love,” he ordered, creeping his fingers between her legs, starting to move up and down on her entrance. “Gosh, you’re so wet.”

She moaned, eyes closed, and lips parted as he started to rub her clit again. “Please, sir. Please, fuck me.”

Jaehyun smirked and then replaced his fingers with the tip of his hard cock, teasing and brushing her pussy, making her writhe under him more.

“I need you,” she whined, bucking her hips.

“I know,” he whispered, caressing her hair away from her face.

“Please,” she begged again, trying to push him closer, wrapping her legs around his ass.

Jaehyun smirked, and then lightly slapped her entrance with his dick, before sinking just the tip in.

“Oh, shit, more.”

“Unhook your legs, love. Let me spread you out.” She did as told, just hoping he was going to go fully in, and he did. Keeping her legs pressed down against the mattress, he thrust into her slowly, enjoying the sensation of her walls wrapping around him. “Always feels so good.”

She smiled and then opened her eyes to look at him. He was perfect, and she had no idea what she had done in her life to deserve him. But he was there, right in front of her —inside her, to be more specific and less romantic. He was there, no matter all the harsh words and whatever people had to say about her. He was there. He was hers. And he loved her.

“You take me so well, baby,” he praised when he started to move inside and out. Thrusts slow and precise, to enjoy every second. “My good girl, mine,” he groaned in the crook of her neck. And she chuckled a little, it was fun seeing him get a little possessive in bed. He had come so far when it came to their relationship, she couldn’t believe there were five… or four of them now.

She whimpered when he pressed her legs even more down and she felt him even more. “Fuck. Feels good, feels so good,” she cried, dragging her nails on his back. Fuck it, he wasn’t going to have to shoot for who knows how long, she could finally mark him freely. No need to worry about people speculating, and no need to hide their love bites.

A low moan rolled out of his lips. He looked down at her and smiled. “Look at you, so beautiful for me. So —fuck— so pretty,” he praised, running his hands on the curves of her body. “Pretty, pretty girl,” he whispered against her neck, kissing her and biting her skin.

Moans and curses spilled from her lips as he started moving faster and kept praising her. She was beautiful. She was hot. She was his favourite. Out of every other girl… he had chosen her.

“Fuck, do you see what you do to me?” He said, grabbing her hips and digging his nails in her flesh. “Do you see how badly you make me lose my mind? Fuck,” he moaned, feeling her clench around him. “Yes, pretty girl, yes. You’re so hot and you have no idea, and I would have you every second, everywhere, shit. So pretty, so fucking pretty.”

“J—Jae,” she moaned, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Yes, love, are you close? Do you want to come?”

But she shook her head. She wanted it to last just a little bit longer, just enough so they wouldn’t have to come out of their bubble just yet.

“Then what do you want, pretty girl?”

“Don’t stop, please, don’t, ahh, fuck,” she slurred, trying to keep her voice just high enough for him to hear.

“I’m not planning, love. I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here —shit— with you.”

She rolled her head back and he took advantage of it to kiss her neck over and over while his thrusts got faster, sending her over the edge sooner than she wanted to. But she really couldn’t hold back anymore. It had been so long.

“Are you close, love?” He teased, moving a hand between their bodies to rub her clit. “Are you going to come all over my cock?”

“Yes, fuck, fuck, fuck—” she moaned, voice getting higher and higher as the climax hit them both at the same time.

They stayed there, riding their orgasm, and muffling their moans against their skins, chests panting heavily and sweat pearling their skin.

“Are you okay?” He asked, caressing her cheek as she beamed at him.

“Never felt better.”

“Happy to hear it. And I hope you’ll never doubt my love for you.”

“I don’t, I never doubted your love,” she replied, caressing his face.

“God, you’re really beautiful, though. I’m so fucking lucky.”

She chuckled. “You’re making it sound as if before was fake.”

“No, I didn’t mean that. I was just… fascinated.”

“You’re such a hopeless romantic.”

“You love me.”

“I do.”

Yuta didn’t know how to feel. It was weird being back there after everything that happened. He felt hurt that they could even think he would do something like that to them. And he also had to deal with all that shit by himself.

People talked about him, less than the others, but they still did. And the comments weren’t nice at all. His family also wanted to know, and he had no idea what to say. There was a picture of them kissing each other, true, but he was only dating Jaehyun… and were they still together? No, of course, not. What was he thinking? Jaehyun had broken up with him. He hated him.

But he couldn’t deny that he missed them. All of them. Even Taeyong. He knew they weren’t exactly friends, but with time, they did get close, so seeing him turn his back on him, hurt. And he missed the way being there made him feel. They had been the closest things he had to a family in the last years, the closest thing to feeling welcomed somewhere. And now, they thought he was the cause of their fall down.

He still knocked on the door, feeling his heart in his throat. And when nobody answered, he wanted to run away.

But then the door opened, revealing Jaehyun. He looked skinnier than the last time he had seen him and had bags under his eyes, and Yuta wondered if he was okay.

“You came,” Jaehyun said.

“Well, you called me,” he replied, trying to hide the nervousness and fragility of his voice.

“I was afraid you would’ve changed your mind. Come in.”

Being inside that house felt even worst. He was so out of place, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Not knowing what they wanted to talk about made him feel even worse. It was them against him. Kind of like it had always been. Like he always feared. And a small part of him thought that maybe it was better this way, maybe he never truly fit in.

“Hi, Yuta,” Jade greeted from the kitchen and her voice didn’t seem mad or anything, but he didn’t want to get his hopes up. “Come here, we’re all here.”

He gulped and then briefly looked at Jaehyun who nodded and started walking to the other room.

“Hi,” he whispered, looking quickly at the other three who were sitting around the table. “Can I?” He asked, pointing at the chair in front of Johnny, and the oldest nodded.

“Sorry for calling you last minute, and sorry for not telling you what we wanted to talk about,” Jade started to explain. Yuta nodded, listening to her attentively. “Jaehyun’s lawyer called this morning and told us that the tweets weren’t sent by your phone or near your area, but it’s still… suspicious because you were the only one that knew this stuff.”

“So, you still think I did it?”

“We…” she looked around, meeting her gaze with Taeyong that was not pleased at all to have him here. “We just want to know the truth. Who sold us to the press won’t tell us anything until he’s in court but we can’t live with these thoughts of you betraying us.”

Yuta nodded and then chuckled bitterly. “Why would I do that? Why would I go so far into this just to fuck you over? You think I’ve been happily dealing with all this shit alone?”

“This is not about you,” Taeyong said sternly. “And even if I still think it was you, I give them the benefit of the doubt that maybe you slipped with someone.”

He pushed down a bitter remark. This was about him. He got targeted just the same but had nobody to lean on. But another fight wasn’t what he wanted. “I didn’t. I kept us a secret, I didn’t say anything to anybody. Why would I do that?”

The older scoffed, shrugging. “Money? Fame?”

Yuta felt really offended, they really thought he could do that. All these months together had been completely useless, the trust they built was gone. And he was starting to wonder if they ever trusted him.

“If you think this of me, there’s nothing I can say to change your mind. Drag me to court, sue me. I thought we trusted each other.”

“We do,” Jaehyun replied before Taeyong could speak again. He didn’t want this to go that way.

“No, you don’t. You don’t because you think I could do that to you. The mere fact that I crossed your mind when you thought about who could’ve been shows that you don’t trust me. You knew how much I loved you, and yet you still think it was me.” He simply couldn’t bottle this up any longer. They clearly just wanted to hear their version of facts, but he wasn’t going to sit there and take it once again.

“Lo — loved?” Jaehyun stuttered, lips almost shaking.

“Love. Well, I don’t know if I can still love you after this.”

“So now it’s his fault?” Taeyong snapped, coldly looking at him. Why was he attacking Jaehyun, now? He had no right to talk shit about him.

“No, but… you… you never wanted me in this, none of you. And it’s clear that this was just the right excuse to make this all blow up.”

“Of course, now it’s on us,” Taeyong scoffed, throwing his head back.

“No, I don’t care about blaming you. But… I really cared about you, and I would never do this to any of you. That’s the only thing I can say, but since you don’t believe me, I don’t know what else I can do to make you change your mind.”

“We don’t want to blame you, but maybe you didn’t realize and said something to somebody?” Johnny tried to explain what they were saying, trying to make him stay.

“Your names never slipped out of my mouth once. I would’ve never done that to you. I knew how much this had to be kept a secret.”

“Then it was you.”

“Taeyong,” Johnny scolded, turning to his side to glare at him.

“What? Who the fuck was then?”

“But why would I still lie? What do I get from this? I don’t have your trust, I don’t have… I have nothing. Why don’t you look into my bank account to see if I got all the money you love to talk about? There’s nothing. This mess, losing him, losing all of you, is not fucking worth all the money in the world.”

They were about to say something, but he got up and started talking again. “You, I thought you loved me, Jaehyun.”

“I did, I still do but —”

“But what? You don’t trust me. And you don’t know me as I thought you did if you really believe I did this to you.”

“I don’t believe it; I want you to remember if there was a small thing that—”

“I just told you and you still don’t believe me. What do you want me to do? Say that it was me? Take the blame for something I didn’t do? Will this make you feel better?”

“No, it won’t. I don’t want it to be you but… maybe you didn’t realize, maybe…”

“And why you never questioned yourself? Maybe you slipped? Maybe you said something? No, it has to be me.”

“We didn’t want to attack you,” Jade chimed. Why this always had to end up in a fight? Why couldn’t they just… talk?

“But you did,” he remarked and then ran a hand in his hair and sighed loudly. “Listen, I have nothing more to say, and I don’t want to be here. If you have something to tell me, I’ll go to your lawyer’s office, and we’ll deal with this there.”

“Yuta, don’t,” Jaehyun said, following him but Yuta turned around one last time and only said, “I have nothing else to say, Jaehyun. I’m done.”

When he closed the door behind, the house fell into a deadly silence. Until Johnny spoke.

“Never thought somebody might’ve been controlling him? Bugs in his apartment? Or in his office. Is somebody who works with him, isn’t it?”

“And why didn’t you say it before?” Jaehyun snapped, turning around to stare at him.

“Because you were screaming at each other. That’s why.”

“I don’t want to talk with him in front of a lawyer, I want him… back,” he whispered, lowering his head.

Johnny sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “How can your lawyer still don’t know who it was? It had been what, four weeks? Almost five?”

“They know it’s not him, but the problem is how, whoever let this out, got to know the things only Yuta knew,” Jaehyun replied.

“Wait, your manager said that one of those tweets was sent from his workplace, that means it has to be someone who knew him. Maybe they started to connect the dots and even if Yuta never talked about us out loud, they still related everything to us,” Jade suggested, trying to connect what they knew.

“That could be,” Johnny agreed.

“Yeah, but now it’s late anyway. He — he said he doesn’t love me, he said… you heard him.”

“Let’s find this out, let’s sort this with your lawyer, and then you, and only you, go talk to him and fix this.”

“You’re not with your lawyer.” When Yuta opened the door of his apartment, he expected to find anybody but him at his front door. But Jaehyun was standing there; white tee, black jeans, ruined Converse, and a wrecked face. And somehow, even like that, he simply looked breathtaking.

“No, please, let me in.”

Yuta huffed. “Why? So, you can insult me some more? Where’s Taeyong? He’s the best at it.”

“I know, I’m sorry, so fucking sorry for hurting you. But please, let me in.”

Yuta wanted to say no, but then moved to the side and let him in. “It’s a mess, I wasn’t waiting for someone to come here.” He pointed at the state his house was and then shrugged. “So? What do you want?”

Jaehyun gulped. It hurt so bad seeing him so cold and distant. That wasn’t the person he used to know. That was the Yuta he had first met, cold and mysterious, not the one with the hidden bright personality and kind soul.

“I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. We accused you of something you didn’t do, and we were awful and there’s no excuse but... but we were terrified, and we didn’t expect that, and we… I’m sorry.” Honestly, he couldn’t even blame him if he didn’t want to accept his apologies, they acted terribly with him, and he didn’t even know what to say to make it all up.

Yuta quirked a brow, and smiled bitterly. “Now you believe me?”

“I always… I mean, okay, I didn’t. Or, well, I don’t even know what to say. It’s been months since I’m split between you and Taeyong. I didn’t want to hurt him or trigger him, he doesn’t hate you but, you don’t know what he had been through, and we were his safe place, that home, everything, and it all just fell down, and you were logically the only one that could’ve done that. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to call you, but I couldn’t fight with him even more. I just, I had to try to keep together what I had.”

Yuta hummed. It was only logic their main focus was Taeyong, and it was clear that, in situations like this, came out who he cared for the most. And it was normal, a story of years couldn’t compare to one of a few months. “Fine. You still seem happy, right?”

“Don’t do this.”

“I’m not doing anything. It’s fine. You have each other. All of a sudden you know it wasn’t me. People are getting tired and won’t pay attention to you anymore. You’ll be fine. You still have each other, right?”

“No. I don’t have you.”

Yuta chuckled and shook his head, walking around the room.

“You don’t believe me?”

“Why did you change your mind suddenly?”

Jaehyun hesitated. “Because — because my lawyer called, and they tracked who did this, and he confessed he spied you too and listened to you saying what you were doing on the weekends, or you know just, he would follow you because he suspected you knew us.” They had found it started from Jiwoo. When he found out that Yuta was a journalist, he reached somebody who worked with him, they didn’t have bad blood, but money was appealing, and the deal was sealed easily. So, with Yuta next to him, and in contact with the biggest account on Twitter that was obsessed with Jaehyun’s love life, they had been an easy target.

“So, you didn’t believe me.”

“I did but I couldn’t tell you that in front of Taeyong.”

“No, you didn’t believe me. Leave him out. You thought it was my fault. You thought all of this was fake. What we had was fake.”

“No, please. That’s not what I meant, I had no idea what to do. It was just because you were the only one who knew that, but I wanted to hold onto the hope it wasn’t you. I missed you so much.”

“Listen, your reasons are valid, okay? I can’t even blame you for thinking that, but… if there’s no trust, if I’m always going to be the last one arrived who could snitch at any moment, I simply don’t want to do this.” Saying those words hurt more than he could even imagine, especially when Jaehyun was looking at him like that, silently begging him to don’t let go.

“You’re breaking up with me?” He asked, voice so low Yuta could barely hear him.

“Oh, we still were together?”

“I never broke up with you.”

“Well, I’m doing it now.”

Jaehyun felt his heart shatter. No, he wasn’t going to lose him. Not over this. Not over somebody else who screwed them. Things didn’t go as planned but those weren’t them. It had been the most stressful months of their lives, they had to find a solution now, with their clear mind.

“Yuta, please, we can fix this. I promise it won’t happen again.”

“It will. It will because even if you convince yourself that you love us equally, it’s clear you don’t. And I understand, the four of you have been through so much, it’s obvious you want to protect them more than me. But I deserve better.” He had spent nights up thinking about it over and over, crying over every memory of the times spent together, but he couldn’t do it to himself.

“That’s not true. I love you so much, Yuta. I… but I live with him and there was his past on the line, and you have no idea how badly that triggers him, and I couldn’t be another reason to push him back in a terrible state of mind.”

“I know, well, I can imagine. And it’s fine. I’m… it’s just I’m not made for this. I tried, okay? I really wanted to make this work.”

“I didn’t want this to go like this,” Jaehyun whispered. “I didn’t want to lose you.”

“I know, neither did I. But it happens,” he smiled bitterly. Yeah, and it happened so many times in his life that he was getting sick and tired of it. He wanted them to work. He wanted to be part of their family. Nothing ever came close to what he felt when he spent time in that house. And yet…

“But… why can’t we try? Why can’t we just see how it goes? I’ll take you away from here, we need it.”

“No, Jae. I can’t. Your family’s not my place in the world.” That was the conclusion. He couldn’t force it. No matter how much he felt it was a lie deep down in his heart.

“So, you don’t love me?”

“I do, but I can’t come back to you.”

Jaehyun didn’t want to force him to stay or change his mind, but he really wanted to make sure he knew how sorry he was. How he truly believed in what they had and never wished things to end like this. “I shouldn’t have reacted that way. I’m sorry. But I was so stressed I couldn’t keep everything together and I made a mistake letting you go. I didn’t want to hurt you. I wanted all of us to be fine. I wanted to have all of you. Not burn us down, not leave you out. I’m sorry.”

Yuta didn’t know what to say. He also wanted that. But if there was no trust… but he wasn’t sure he wanted to let him go. No, he knew he didn’t want to let him go. And Jaehyun was hurt. He cared for him. He loved him. And nobody ever loved him like that. But was it worth it? Maybe he was right. They weren’t going to force it, they just had to work a little bit harder to make it work once and for all. But the high was going to be worth the pain. People always make mistakes, but rarely admit it. And now Jaehyun was there, in front of him, admitting he did something wrong and begging him to give them another try. Nobody ever fought this hard for him.

“I hate seeing you like this, and I’m so sorry because I can’t even imagine what you went through all by yourself. I know it’s useless because you won’t come back but you have no idea how many times I looked for you in every room and you just weren’t there and I felt like breaking into pieces because I missed you and I couldn’t believe you could hurt us. I just wanted to have you there, next to me, like the others. And I’m, God, I know it’s useless saying sorry, but I really am, and I just wish you could forgive me, a little. One day, not even now but please I’m —”

Jaehyun blinked twice, not sure if he was dreaming or if Yuta was seriously kissing him.

But it wasn’t a dream. Yuta was kissing him, hands cupping his face and soft lips crashing against his.

“What does this mean?” Jaehyun asked when he pulled away.

“That I hate you because I can’t stay away from you,” the elder replied with a small smile on his face. “Don’t give me those doe eyes.”

“Wait, we’re fine? You still want me?”

“Maybe we’re not super fine, but I still want you. And I even want what we had all together back, if they want to. Maybe coming back immediately won’t be a great idea, but I liked what we had.”

“So you lied to me before!”

“Of course, I did, but I had no choice. I was trying to push you away but then you started crying and, you know, maybe you should be an actor.”

Jaehyun chuckled. “Yeah, for now, it’s a miracle if I’ll ever go back to being a model, but I’ll take that into consideration.”

“But seriously. Can you promise me you do trust me? That it seriously was just because you were scared for him. I need to know nothing like this will ever happen again.”

“I promise. I trust you, Yuta. Or else I wouldn’t have let you in. And about Taeyong, I hope you don’t hate him. If everything gets better maybe, I can’t promise, maybe he’ll let you in, again. He’s just super… he’s not broken, he’s so fucking strong, and he had been through so much but even if he’s a flame he flickers from time to time, and it gets hard.”

“I can only imagine what he had been through. I don’t blame him for reacting that way, but it hurt. I really care about all of you, even if I’m not dating them.”

“I know. And he knows it, too. He’s just a bit proud, he’ll probably admit something next year,” Jaehyun laughed, making the other laugh too.

“That means I’ll still be with you.”

“Oh, trust me, I won’t let you go that easily. Not this time.”

“The view is so pretty, I could stay here all day,” Jade said, staring in front of her. From the pool, Barbati was perfectly visible, the pretty colourful houses, and the coast of Corfù. It had been almost one month since they were there, and yet, she couldn’t get used to it. It was nice being away from the chaos of the city and their jobs and the world. No internet —unless it was to use Netflix— no social media, no drama. Just them. Happy and free in this amazing villa Jaehyun booked for the whole summer, well, what was left of it. They had to celebrate Taeyong’s birthday that had been completely ruined, right? And they had to run away from everything.

“You already stay here all day,” Jaehyun joked, immerging his body in the water next to her, and wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

“But we don’t have a pool back at home, and anyway, in London, I don’t know how much we could use it.”

“Maybe I’ve found a house that has one inside.” They were still looking for another occasion like the one they lost but they couldn’t seem to find anything. And even if staying there forever was appealing, they had to go back.

“No, you didn’t,” she replied. “It’s a waste though.”

“What? That you can’t let Johnny fuck you in the pool anytime you like?”

She turned around, trapping him with her body. “So, you spy on us!”

“Let’s say, you’re not so quiet, love,” he said, hand resting on her bare waist, playing with the string of her red bikini.

“Then why you don’t come to play with us? Oh, right you’re busy with Yuta or Yong.”

“Not really,” he said, biting her shoulder playfully. “Maybe I just enjoy watching you. You’re really pretty when you try to hold in your moans as he goes down on you. He’s good, isn’t he?” He teased, slipping a hand between her legs, making her whimper.

“Oh, he is.”

“And Yuta?”

She felt heat creep on her face. “What about him?”

“You think you’re smart?”

“But he’s hot,” she whined, because of him and because Jaehyun had started rubbing her clit. “You always pick the most beautiful people to date, exquisite taste.”

Jaehyun chuckled at her words and then leaned in. “And tell me, have you two, perhaps, fucked?” He whispered in her ear, moving the crotch of the bikini to the side to slip a finger inside.

“Maybe,” she admitted, looking at him.

“Maybe? So good you forgot?”

“We didn’t do that… kind of.”

“Oh, and what did you do?”

“Mh, Jae, please.”

“No, no baby, answer me and call me Sir.”

She huffed under her breath and then said, “he fingered me and ate me out. He’s so, so good at it.”

Jaehyun chuckled. “Really? I thought he was only skilled at sucking dicks.”

“Yup, he does magic tricks with that tongue. Wait, are you mad I fucked your boyfriend behind your back?”

Jaehyun chuckled and shook his head. “Not really. Can I blame you or him when you two are so sexy?”

“No, you can’t. Yes, just like that,” she moaned when he curled his fingers inside but then her sounds of pleasure were interrupted by a whine as he pulled his fingers out of her. “Why?” She pouted.

“Take everything off and wait for me here,” he ordered before he jumped out of the pool.

“Wait, what?” But he didn’t answer. “God, I hate him when he acts like this.”

“What’s going on?” Taeyong asked, walking to the pool. “Oh, wow,” he whispered when his eyes landed on her completely bare body. “Summer makes you glow.”

“Why you always act as if it’s the first time seeing me naked?” She asked, resting her elbow behind her on the board.

“Don’t lean there,” he said. She was on the other end of the pool, the one that faced the cliff, in reality, there was some earth, the coast that led to the beach, but the clear glass still scared him.

“I’m not going to fall. And you didn’t answer my question,” she teased, letting a hand run on her curves, making him gulp.

“You’re — you’re pretty,” he stammered.

“You always tell me.”

“But it’s true. And under the sun, you’re even prettier.”

“Oh, having fun you two,” Jaehyun said, coming back outside with Yuta at his side.

“That was what you needed to grab?” She asked, still touching her body while she looked into his eyes.

“Putting on a show? You’re so kind,” he said without answering her question.

“Do you like it?” She teased, hand slipping inside her and head rolling back.

“I’d like it better if you came here instead,” he warned with a low voice.

“Mh, no. Why don’t you come here?”

“Babe, you don’t want to do this in water, trust me.”

“Think I can’t swim?” She taunted, fingers still moving inside of her.

“Think it’s better if you do as he says,” Yuta replied instead when Jaehyun sat on the board.

“Fine,” she huffed, rolling her eyes, and then swimming to the other end, reaching them. “Happy now, sir?” She teased, smirking at Jaehyun who simply smiled back at her before pulling her up to kiss her harshly.

“I was so nice, got back inside with a gift for you and you were having fun all to yourself,” he whispered, running his thumb on her lips and she took the opportunity to suck it inside her mouth. “Fucking tease.”

She smirked and then let go with a loud pop. “Wishing it was your dick.”

“Oh, it will be, but not now. Come here,” he ordered, patting the space next to him.

“No, I want to stay inside the water.”

“Come here, I won’t repeat it twice. Trust me, it’s for you.”

She huffed but then did it, pushing her body up outside of the water.

“Taeyong, you’re drooling,” he said, making the older snap out of his thoughts.

“But she’s pretty.”

“Oh, she is. Come closer. She doesn’t mind having all eyes on her.”

“I never, we never…” Taeyong mumbled. He had been with all of them, well, except Yuta, but never all together. He knew they sometimes did it, well the three of them, not so often, but he never felt the need to. Things with more people didn’t exactly go well for him but now it was different, it was them, so maybe…

“You don’t want to?”

“I just don’t know what to do,” he whispered, blushing.

“Don’t worry, you just have to come here and look. Sit next to me.”

“And what do I have to do?” Jade asked.

“First off, stop brushing your thighs together. You seem desperate.”

“I am, I was having fun and then you stopped me,” she pouted and then gasped when Yuta entered the pool and rested his hands on her thighs, pulling them apart not so gently.

“See, if you have just a little bit of patience,” Jaehyun said. “I just wanted to see if Yuta was as good as you tell me he is.”

“You know I’m good,” Yuta replied almost bitterly, eyes drifting to him from her wet core.

“On me. On her, I don’t know.”

Yuta rolled his eyes and then placed his hands under her thighs to pull her closer, making her rest her legs around his shoulder, and immediately dived into her. Her nails dug into Jaehyun’s arm as soon as Yuta’s tongue laid flat against her folds collecting her wetness before he sucked on her clit.

She closed her eyes and rolled her head back as his movements got exactly how she wanted them. He was so good and it was almost as if he knew her by heart even if that was the second —okay, third time— they did that.

“No, baby, don’t fall. Here,” Jaehyun said, keeping her body up by sitting behind her, letting her rest against his chest. “Better?”

She hummed, swiftly nodding and then bucking her hips to meet Yuta’s mouth.

“Taste so good,” he moaned against her cunt, vibrations of his voice making her shiver.

“You look so beautiful between her legs, fuck,” Jaehyun praised Yuta and then looked over at Taeyong who was looking at the scene silently. A smirk popped on his face when his eyes landed between Taeyong’s legs, the shorts he was wearing were barely hiding his erection. “They’re pretty, aren’t they, Yong?”

He snapped his head up, drifting his gaze from where the two were connected to look at the younger.

“Y—yes,” he whispered.

“Come here,” Jaehyun ordered, and he followed automatically. “You have a better view.”

Taeyong nodded and then gulped. He squeezed his legs together trying to calm the ache of his painful boner, but it was impossible.

“Yuta,” she moaned, moving her head back, making it fall against Jaehyun’s shoulder when he pushed her legs back to have more access to her pussy.

“Feels good?”

“Yes, fuck,” she cursed, locking her fingers into his hair to push him closer. A louder moan rolled out of her lips when a hand cupped her boob and started teasing her nipple. She opened her eyes, expecting to see Jaehyun’s hand, and was surprised when she saw it was Taeyong.

It felt so good.

“Having fun without me.”

“Johnny,” she moaned, shaking a little at the consciousness that every single one of them was there now and she was the centre of attention.

“It’s kind of rude to not invite me to the party,” he said, towering over them, but only looking at her who was looking up with eyes struggling to stay open and parted mouth.

“It wasn’t supposed to be a party,” Jaehyun replied. “But someone’s greedy and just wants all eyes on her.”

“Only eyes? What about hands?”

“Please,” she whined, trying to close her thighs around Yuta’s head but he kept them firmly open.

“Please what?” Johnny said. “Look at me, angel, open your pretty eyes,” he ordered, brushing his thumb on her closed eyelids.

“Daddy…”

“Mhh, what do you want, baby?”

“I want you,” she pleaded, hand running on his thigh.

“Really, he just arrived, and you want to suck him?” Jaehyun huffed.

Johnny chuckled. “Baby, you made him mad,” he joked, palming his cock from the fabric of his shorts.

“I — I don’t care, fuck,” she replied, trying to don’t get lost in the pleasure that Yuta was giving her. But it was so hard when his tongue flicked on her clit and folds so swiftly and so well and his hands caressed her skin and —God, Taeyong playing with her nipple.

“You’re so greedy. I don’t know if I should give you what you want,” Johnny taunted.

“Please, I’ve been good. Ah, Yuta.”

“Oh, he’s good at this. You’re already a mess.”

She felt Yuta smirk against her and closed her eyes bucking her hips harder against him.

“I’m close,” she moaned.

“Come, but know we’re nowhere near done with you,” Jaehyun whispered in her ear.

And with a few more sucks on her clit from Yuta and on her nipple from Taeyong she came so hard that she needed to ground herself on Jaehyun’s arm.

Yuta helped her ride her high and then backed up from her. “So, proved my skills?”

“I don’t know, can you fuck her?” Johnny said and made them both turn to him.

“We’ve never done that,” Jade said, still struggling to come down from the high.

“And? Not the first cock of your life, right?”

“But… are you okay with it?”

“We let him eat you out, and you didn’t have any scruples when you let him the other days.”

“So, you both knew!”

“Baby, we know damn well how you start acting when you want to fuck somebody.”

She lowered her head and then shifted on the spot.

“Fine, do you want to choose?” Johnny proposed.

“What?”

“Who’s fucking you.”

“Oh, I have to choose?”

“What, baby? Can’t do it?”

“No, I just…” She looked around at the four men but had no idea what do to. Was it too desperate to say she wanted them all? It wasn’t like they did things like this every day, so why don’t have a little bit of fun? And to be honest, they never did anything of that kind. She had also basically stopped having threesomes with Johnny and Jaehyun since Taeyong came into their lives.

“Babe, time’s ticking,” Johnny urged her.

“All of you.”

They raised a brow and then Jaehyun said, “at the same time?”

“No, what the hell, no. But I want all of you.”

“But you have to choose who goes first, baby,” Johnny cooed, kneeling to reach her level.

“I want to suck you off while somebody fucks me from behind.”

“Sounds amazing to me, but who do you want?”

Her eyes drifted in front of her, on Yuta that was silently watching her, trying not to seem too bothered by how turned on eating her out got him. “Yuta. I want Yuta.”

“Great,” Johnny said, kissing her lips gently. “See? It wasn’t that hard to pick one.”

Jaehyun huffed and got up from behind her. “She actually picked two.”

“You’re insufferable, that’s why she didn’t pick you,” Johnny remarked, glaring at him.

Jaehyun rolled his eyes and then snickered before leaning in to whisper “Good luck” in her ear and then moving away from her. She turned around, looking at him with a furrow on her face but the confusion didn’t last long because Yuta’s hands were already wrapped around her waist, dragging her to the edge of the pool.

“Anything you have to tell me?”

“Like what? Are you going to destroy me?”

Yuta chuckled while shaking his head and then brushed her hair back. “Unless you want to.”

She felt her heart skip a beat and then let him drag her down inside the water, slightly jumping at the contact with the liquid. He turned her around, making her rest her elbow on the edge, and then pushed his pants down.

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” he whispered, running his hands on her body and then resting them on her ass.

“Please, just fuck me.”

“God, fine, you’re so impatient.”

“And you haven’t seen anything,” Johnny joked, sitting down in front of her. “Maybe you should make her beg for it, she sounds so good.”

“No, Yuta please, don’t listen to him just fuck me,” she whined, trying to push her ass back against him but in the water it was harder to get control of her body, since where they were standing, her feet didn’t touch the floor. She then turned her head to look at him over her shoulder. “I know you want me, you’ve been dying to have me.”

“Don’t give him your doe eyes,” Johnny said, forcing her head to face forward, cupping her chin.

“Or? What are you going to do?”

“Don’t test me.”

“Oh, you’re so scary — fuck,” she whimpered when Yuta eased his cock inside of her in one go.

“Happy, now?” He asked, hands wrapped around her waist and chest against her back.

“Yes,” she moaned, squeezing her eyes shut.

“You’re so wet,” Yuta praised, bottoming completely inside of her. “How badly did you want me?”

“A lot,” she moaned, lowering her head as he started to thrust into her slowly. “Faster, please.”

Yuta looked up at the other for a moment and when Johnny chuckled and said, “don’t be gentle, she can take it,” he started moving faster in and out of her.

She moaned louder, trying to grip against the board of the pool as the water splashed between their bodies and increased the sensation of pleasure.

“Is this what you wanted?” Yuta asked, squeezing harder the flesh of her waist and smirking when he felt her clench tighter around him.

“Yes,” she moaned. “Fuck, just like that. Feels good.”

Yuta smirked and then grabbed a fistful of her wet hair to pull her back, flat against him. She rolled her eyes back and clenched hard around him at the unexpected rough movement and the man just scoffed against her neck. “Had no idea you liked it rough,” he whispered before licking a stripe on her neck and then biting the lobe of her ear.

“Fuck,” she mewled, already feeling her toes curls.

“Open your eyes, angel.” But Johnny’s voice suddenly brought her back to earth. They weren’t alone. The others were watching with lust-filled eyes. She had all the attention on her and just the mere thought could’ve been enough to push her over the edge. She had dreamed this for so long, only imagining it in her darkest and most secret fantasy, and now was reality.

“I want more,” she mumbled without thinking twice. She had them all there and she wanted them, she needed to feel them.

Johnny snickered and then kneeled to look at her. “What? Is Yuta not enough or are you a needy little thing?”

“No,” she mewled, trying to lower her face but Yuta’s hand was still firm in her hair, holding her up, still in his arms, not able to move at all.

“No? And then why do you want more? Is this not enough? Is he not good enough? That’s so rude to say when he’s fucking you so nicely.”

Jade groaned and closed her eyes when Yuta’s fingers reached her clit and pressed against it, “Please, fuck, ‘s too much.”

Jaehyun mocked her with a laugh and then brushed her lips with his thumb before pushing two fingers inside, making her gag at the unexpected intrusion. “You always run that pretty mouth and then you can never take the consequences of your actions.”

She whined against his digits and gripped the board harder, trying to find some balance but Yuta’s thrusts weren’t helping at all.

“Is it too much?” He taunted, pushing the fingers further into her mouth and then twisting her nipple, making her snap her eyes wide open.

She shook her head, feeling tears at the corner of her eyes but he simply laughed before pulling his fingers out. “Too bad you’ll have to take it. You asked for this.”

She was about to say something but soon she was overwhelmed by all the attention on her. Johnny swiftly pulled his pants down, freeing his cock and prodding at her lips, giving her no chance but to open her mouth and take him, letting him fuck her mouth.

“You can take care of us, too, right?” Jaehyun said, slipping out of his boxer and sitting at Johnny’s side.

Jade whimpered something around Johnny’s cock, just causing the others to laugh.

“Well, you can,” Jaehyun replied before taking her right hand and placing it around his cock. “Come on, you can do it. To Yong too.”

She wanted to curse at him but instead looked to her left where Taeyong was silently looking at the scene and getting rid of the useless piece of clothing that was still covering his body.

“I’ll keep you in place, don’t worry,” Yuta whispered against her ear when he saw how hesitant she was at letting go of the hold on the pool edge. “I got you, just let go.” And so, she did, feeling her thighs tremble at the realization that the only thing that was keeping her afloat was Yuta’s hold around her waist and hair.

She was at their complete mercy. Unable to do or say anything. Struggling to do anything now that the orgasm felt closer with every thrust and flick on her clit that Yuta gave her, and the way Johnny’s dick was mercilessly fucking in and out of her mouth making her gag and make a mess down her chin.

Johnny pulled out of her, making her cough and take a deep breath again before forcing her face up again and kissing her roughly.

Yuta almost groaned at the sight and at the way her pussy was basically sucking him in with no chance of pulling out. “Fuck, I thought you were far more innocent but look at you,” he said before slapping her ass cheek, eliciting a whimper from her.

“Innocent? Her?” Jaehyun said, laughing lowly. “She’s shamelessly letting us fuck her in plain daylight and you think she’s innocent?”

“I had no idea she enjoyed this so much,” he replied as he watched Johnny shove his dick inside of her again, giving her no possibility of speaking. She was a complately different person usually, and never he would’ve imagined of seeing her so vulnerable.

“She can do better than this, right?” Jaehyun said, voice stern as he slapped her ass too. “Like don’t stop stroking our cocks, mhh.”

She whined around Johnny’s length making him groan louder.

“Are you close?” Yuta cooed feeling her shaking more against his body and she tried to nod for what she could. “Oh, poor baby, for how long have you been holding it in? So good at waiting for me.”

She wanted to beg them to let her come but Johnny’s hold on her didn’t let her say anything.

“Too bad you can’t talk, I would’ve loved to hear you beg,” Yuta whispered in her ear and started moving harder inside of her, feeling his own orgasm so close.

“Come on, stroke us faster, you can do it,” Jaehyun ordered as her hands started slowing down again when the pleasure got in her head. She whimpered around Johnny’s and felt tears rolling down her cheeks as she forced herself to keep the rhythm on Taeyong and Jaehyun too.

When Johnny pulled out again, she didn’t waste a moment to beg with a broken voice, “please — let me come. Yuta, please.”

“Oh, really? Want to come with me?”

“Yes, please,” she was basically begging and now had completely stopped jacking off her two boyfriends.

“And where do you want me? Where do you want me to come?”

“In — inside, fuck,” her moans kept getting higher and she almost gasped when as soon as the words left her mouth Johnny shoved his dick inside again and Yuta started fucking her faster.

“Fuck, you look so hot,” Johnny moaned, caressing her tears and spit streaked cheek. “Taking us at the same time, that was what you wanted, right?” He teased. “You should be thankful we give you what you want.”

“Shit, she’s so tight,” Yuta moaned, holding her tighter.

“Want to come?” Johnny asked teasingly, grinning down at her, watching her try to nod even if he kept ramming into her. He pulled out and then ordered, “Say, thank you, then. Come on.”

She whined but then whispered, “Tha—thank you, daddy.”

“Good, now come,” Johnny said, pushing inside her mouth again. Yuta might’ve been the one fucking her, but he was always going to be the one to have the upper hand, at least on her, and for now, since they were doing Yuta a favour by letting him fuck her.

And at those words, she completely let go into Yuta’s arms and came all over his cock.

Yuta cursed against the skin of her shoulder and spilled his cum inside of her while Johnny came down her throat and spilled something on her chest.

“Swallow everything, angel,” Johnny ordered, lifting her chin up and waiting for her to do as he told. “Good girl,” he praised when she opened her mouth and showed him she had swallowed everything.

“Fuck, you felt so good,” Yuta mumbled against the skin of her shoulder, stilling his movements inside of her.

Jade sighed and tried to steady her breath, but the moment of peace didn’t last long. As soon as Yuta left her one last kiss on her lips and pulled out of her, Jaehyun hoisted her over his shoulder making her gasp in surprise.

“What are you doing?” She asked, voice trembling and body already tired.

“What are we doing? We give you what you want and you can’t even take care of your boyfriends,” he replied, putting an emphasis on the word boyfriends. Of course, he was mad, she didn’t do what he told her to. She didn’t give him the attention he wanted.

“Wait, we’ll wet the couch,” she tried to stop him, but it was already too late, he had already —not so gently— thrown her body on the couch under the porch next to the pool.

“You think I give a shit about the couch?”

She shook her head while biting her lips nervously.

“I can make it up,” she said.

“Oh, you will make it up,” he replied, trapping her body under his.

She felt her blood freeze when his fingers started playing with the rim of nerves of her ass. “What are you doing?” She asked, voice shaking and eyes open in fear.

Jaehyun simply snickered. “What? Are you scared, baby?”

She nodded, gulping.

“Not the first time you take my dick in your ass, right? Not the first time you take two cocks at the same time.”

Her face snapped to the side where the other three were standing, looking at the scene, and then her eyes landed on Taeyong. No, there was no way Jaehyun wanted to do something with him.

She shook her head and brought her attention back to Jaehyun. “We never, we don’t have lube.”

“I think all the cum Yuta’s fucked into you will be enough to stretch your pretty little hole, don’t you think so?”

She whined at his words and then rolled her head back when he plugged his fingers into her sensitive pussy to push out more cum and then press the same fingers into her other hole.

“Taeyong never, fuck, he never done that,” she said, trying to fight the urge to moan at the stretch. Okay, technically he had a threesome with her and Johnny, but this was different. This was putting on a show for all of them, in the open air.

“Oh, well, he can learn. He’s a good learner,” Jaehyun replied, starting to thrust into her. “Come here, Yong. I know you’ve been dying to get a taste.”

Taeyong gulped and then walked closer to her. All of this was so new to him. He never had sex in front of someone in the last few years. But this had been funny. He had never seen Jade being so… submissive, even kinky, if he could say. Their times together were completely different.

“Want to try something new?” Jaehyun asked, bringing him down to earth and he hummed lowly as his eyes couldn’t look away from where the younger’s fingers were moving in and out of her.

“It’s hot, isn’t it?” Jaehyun asked, catching him staring. “And she can take so much more. This is nothing.”

“We have to fuck her together?”

Jaehyun hummed, “it’s going to feel so good.”

Taeyong nodded shily, not really sure about how that was going to work. The idea excited him but what if he wasn’t good enough to keep up with him? He had seen before how Yuta and Johnny fucked her, and it wasn’t how he was used to.

“Stop thinking so much,” Johnny said from behind him, “just go for it.”

Taeyong briefly looked over at him and then looked back at Jade who was once again a moaning mess with her head thrown back and hands cupping her boobs while Jaehyun inserted a third finger inside. He walked closer to her and trapped her mouth in a heated kiss before his hands crept down her body and he started to play with her pussy, making her whimper and automatically close her legs, if only Jaehyun didn’t push them open again.

“You didn’t pay attention to us,” he said when he pulled away from the kiss and pushed two fingers into her already swollen hole.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Was it good? Is Yuta good at fucking you?”

She felt her breath falter at his new —shy— confidence and cursed at both of her entrances being stimulated.

“Yes,” she mewled, “he’s good.”

“You always want more. Are we not good enough for you? Are three cocks not enough?”

Jaehyun stopped moving for a second, genuinely surprised at his words, and then picked it up back again, inserting the fourth finger, eliciting a strangled moan of pain and pleasure from her.

“I said, are we not enough?” Taeyong asked again, adding another finger too and she bit her lip hard, already feeling that the stretch of their fingers was too much.

“No, no, you are enough, fuck,” she mumbled.

“I don’t think it’s ever enough for you,” Jaehyun chimed in, honestly afraid Taeyong’s dirty talk was going to turn into a jealousy scene and that wasn’t what he needed. He needed to fuck her. He had been waiting for that moment all day. She kept teasing him and then running away. “It’s never enough, right? You cry and squirm and make a scene but at the end you love it.”

She hummed lowly, watery eyes looking up at him, at them.

Jaehyun pulled out of her and Taeyong followed soon after and with a swift movement the younger lifted her up again. “Tae, lean down, so you can fuck her pussy.”

“No,” Taeyong said, surprising everybody.

“No?” Jaehyun tilted his head.

“I want to fuck her ass.”

Jade looked up at him with surprise. Okay, maybe Taeyong was even madder than Jaehyun and she wasn’t quite sure how to feel. She knew what angry sex was with her youngest boyfriend, but with Taeyong she had no idea.

“Fine,” he said reluctantly before laying on the couch and waiting for her to get on top of him. “Guess it’s your lucky day,” Jaehyun joked when she grabbed the base of his cock and started sliding on him.

“I wouldn’t be sure,” she whispered, goosebumps rising on her skin in anticipation as soon as Taeyong got behind her.

And he didn’t waste a moment before slipping into her ass in one single stroke, making her whimper at the stretch and fall forward against Jaehyun. But then his hand reached her hair and yanked her up again harshly.

“Fuck,” she cried in surprise.

“You liked it when Yuta did that before, didn’t you? Want to complain now?”

She swiftly shook her head and he whispered, “good,” before starting to move into her.

She felt her heart skip a beat when Jaehyun thrust up into her and, much to her surprise, they found a perfect rhythm pretty soon. But most of it all, she was surprised at the strength Taeyong was putting in his strokes and the way he was still holding her into place. He never fucked her with so much strength and, what she would’ve called, hunger.

“Oh, shit,” she moaned, voice low and eyes shut at the way the two men were slamming back and forth into her, their sizes filling her to the brim and their bodies trapping her between them.

“You like this? Like being fucked over and over again?”

She wanted to answer but no words came out of her mouth. It was so surprising to hear those words coming from him and yet it was so exciting. A senseless sound was the only answer that slipped past her parted lips. And an even higher moan ripped past her throat when Taeyong tugged at her hair harder, head being pushed back and ass arching up.

“You love putting on shows for us, don’t you,” he whispered against her ears, hips never slowing down, so hard and precise she felt like she could come right there and then. “And maybe not just for us since you’d let anybody have you, isn’t it right?”

“No, no,” she cried, shaking her head, “Just you, I swear.”

“And is Yuta just us? You didn’t hesitate a single moment before,” he replied before his teeth sunk into the skin of her shoulder.

“I, shit,” she mumbled, trying to let her head fall in front but Taeyong’s hold didn’t loosen up, instead his hand moved to the front of her neck and cupped her chin, pushing her body flat against his chest.

“Can’t speak, babe? Is your brain too far gone?”

She felt shivers run down her spine as his hot breath fanned her neck and they kept hitting hard inside of her and the moans kept spilling louder and louder as Jaehyun’s hands touched her body and cupped her boobs. And Johnny’s and Yuta’s eyes burning on her skin didn’t help her cool down. And when Taeyong slipped three fingers into her mouth, reaching deep into her throat she felt her stomach tighten up and her walls pulse harder around them.

“Fuck, you’re so dumb,” Taeyong panted. “Whimpering on two cocks,” he snickered, “Drooling and sucking all over my fingers. Bet you’d wish it was a cock, don’t you? Maybe you could suck Johnny again.”

She forced her —now watery— eyes open, looking down for what she could and seeing Jaehyun staring at her, chest panting heavily and skin pearled with droplets of water and sweat.

“Or do you want somebody else?” But Taeyong kept going, digits still moving in and out of her mouth, spit dripping down her chin to her chest and slowly falling on Jaehyun’s abs. “Not answering, dumb little girl?”

She whined, hips bucking messily, mumbles of whispered ‘you’ coming out broken with sobs and moans of pleasure as her eyes closed once again, pleasure so strong to haze her mind.

A smirk broke on Taeyong’s face. “Our dumb little girl,” he groaned against the skin of her blades, slipping his fingers out of her and gripping her waist hard enough to surely leave a mark, marks that bloomed on her skin even on her shoulders as his teeth sunk once again. “My girl.”

“Yong, please,” she moaned, hands reaching back, nails digging in his arms.

“Now you’ve found the voice to beg,” this time the mocking remark came from Jaehyun.

Finally. She thought, tired of him just keeping quiet as he fucked up into her.

“Want to come again? Want us to give you what you couldn’t give to us before?” He asked, hands placing right above Taeyong’s on her waist, squeezing tight. Thrusts more powerful now that he had found a way to get back into a position of control as Taeyong’s words shut down.

“Please, please, I’ve been, ah,” she moaned, body falling forward if it wasn’t for them keeping her up. “I’ve been good.”

“Are you sure?” Taeyong asked.

“Yes, please. I’m yours, only yours. Nobody can have me like you do,” she started mumbling, voice high, tears streaking her face, hair stuck against her forehead and ass bouncing faster against them begging for more.

They both snickered.

“Didn’t seem like this just a few moments ago,” Jaehyun reminded her with a teasing tone.

“You said it was good,” Taeyong added.

“Ugh,” she groaned. “Not like you, please. You’re, fuck, fuck, please,” she cried. “I’m close.”

The two men looked at each other over her shoulders, they both wanted it to last longer but her walls pulsed so hard around them that they both knew they couldn’t last much more.

“Beg for it. Hard,” Jaehyun ordered. “Who do you belong to?”

“You, fuck. I belong to you. Only you,” she cried, tears spilling from her eyes and throat almost dry for how much she was pleading.

“Can he fuck you better than us?” Taeyong asked against her ear.

“No, no, he — he can’t,” she shook her head before it rolled back and her eyes met the two pairs that were staring at her from the side. Locking gaze with Yuta, briefly catching an expression she couldn’t understand, and she had no time to analyse what was hiding behind his eyes.

“Please, I can’t — can’t take it anymore.”

“Come, but only when we come,” Jaehyun ordered, he knew they were all there, probably she was a little bit closer but Taeyong’s hips were starting to falter and he had lost all the confident façade he had before, his cheeks were flushed and his head was resting against her body. And he was there, too, feeling his own abs twitch and his balls tighten when she got even tighter.

“Come,” he stuttered again. And their orgasm exploded together. They could faintly make out the moans coming from the other two as their bodies collapsed on top of each other, sweaty skin sticking to each other, as they steadied their breaths.

“Are you okay?” Jaehyun asked, caressing her burning cheek and moving her hair to the side.

She hummed, feeling tired and sleepy, and with no strength to move a muscle. And probably Taeyong felt the same since he couldn’t find the will to stand up and he simply left kisses against her skin. And if it wasn’t for Johnny lifting him up and carrying him in his arms, they would’ve stayed like that longer. After a while, Jaehyun did the same with her, helping her stand up and wrapping a towel around her body.

“I hope I didn’t cause troubles,” Yuta stopped them and they both turned around with a furrow on their faces. “You know, with him and you.”

Jade smiled. “You didn’t,” she reassured him. “It was actually much fun seeing this new side of him, he’s never dominant.”

“He never attacks her, to be more precise,” Jaehyun added, and she chuckled, but Yuta’s face was still full of worry and other thoughts they didn’t understand.

“Hey, seriously, don’t overthink this. We’re fine. We all had fun. I hope you did at least, you’re not regretting this, right?”

“What? No, I had fun too. I… like you, I mean, you’re objectively a… a beautiful woman so how I could I regret this,” he stuttered, avoiding eye contact with her, eyes moving everywhere but on hers.

“Yuta,” Jaehyun called, “it’s fine,” he reassured him once his eyes met his. “You didn’t think this much when you two sneaked behind our back, didn’t you?”

“Well, those times were a —” he stopped when he saw her, he didn’t want to call it a mistake, but it happened. The first time when they ended up being the last two watching movies and the second time when they woke up first and did that in the kitchen. “It happened. We were intended to don’t make it happen anymore.” At least, he thought that. They never really talked about it. But surely they couldn’t just fuck around, right? That was surely just going to put their relationship at risk once again, and that was the last thing he wanted.

“Yeah,” Jade whispered, feeling an odd pain in her chest at his words. “It won’t happen again so no need to worry for Yong.”

“You’re here,” Taeyong said, finally finding Jade sitting on the couch under the porch.

“Yeah, I was just enjoying the night breeze. Is everything okay?” She asked, moving a little to give him space to sit next to her.

“Yes,” he replied. “I was just bored inside. Don’t know what they’re doing, and don’t want to know,” he joked, and Jade chuckled.

“Let them be, we kind of ruined it for Yuta and Jae,” she replied, moving her arm so she could wrap it around his shoulders and caress his nape.

“I know. I still feel shitty, no matter how much I apologized to Yuta,” Taeyong confessed. Fixing everything that broke between them hadn’t been easy at all. He simply wasn’t good at explaining what he felt, and he wasn’t good at saying sorry, especially to someone who was almost a stranger. But things were going well between them. Johnny was right, being forced to stay all together was a fast way to make people work out. Not that Taeyong felt forced to like Yuta, he was nice. But still, at the start, it had been awkward.

“You know he’s fine now; I think he really likes you. Didn’t you watch anime together the other day?”

Taeyong nodded. They were trying to get closer. They had some things in common and Yuta put him at ease now. Sure, not like his partners did, but he knew that he wasn’t a bad person, and he didn’t want to steal any of his lovers or screw them up. Even if Taeyong still felt a little bit jealous, this time not for Jaehyun, but for Jade.

“And you?” He asked, but she furrowed, not getting what he was talking about. “Do you like him? You seem… close,” he explained, biting the inside of his cheek and nervously playing with his fingers.

Jade sighed, she knew that talk was going to come sooner or later. It was clear as the sky how close she and Yuta grew, and there was no point trying to deny it.

“I don’t know,” she replied. “I guess I like him, but I wouldn’t call it love.”

Taeyong nodded but didn’t seem to be the answer he wanted to hear. He surely wasn’t going to act like he did months ago, he had learned his lesson, but Jade truly was the safest person on earth he had and having to share her with someone else made his ground shake a little. He was working on it, he wasn’t even mad at them, but his insecurity showed up every now and then.

“Hey,” she called him, making him lift his head. “He won’t steal me from you, I’m not even sure he likes me back.”

“Oh, I think he does,” he almost scoffed, replaying in his mind all their moments together. He wasn’t dumb, he could see how Yuta would look at her, or his flirting jokes, and the way he would always stick with her if Jaehyun wasn’t around.

“Sexual attraction is not love,” she replied. “Just because he finds me hot it doesn’t mean he likes me.”

“But he does. And you like him too, so that means I’ll have to share you with somebody else soon.” Taeyong knew he wasn’t supposed to feel like this, but he couldn’t help but be afraid. No one ever came into Jade’s life after him. He just wanted to be with her and well, the others, but it was all happening so soon; he was just getting used to seeing Yuta and Jaehyun being affectionate with each other, he wasn’t so sure he could take seeing him be so close with another one of his lovers.

“You know it doesn’t work like this, and also you’ll always have Johnny and Jaehyun,” she replied. “And, most importantly, why are you worrying about a relationship that doesn’t even exist? We’re just friends, for now. Sure, we fucked, but that’s it. Just because there’s chemistry between us, it doesn’t mean I’ll stop having it with you,” she explained. As much as Taeyong grew, she knew it was still hard to understand that different dynamics could exist in the same relationship. And just like her, he was terrified people were going to fall out of love with him if they found someone better. And she knew that he wasn’t jealous of Yuta but simply envious because unlike him, he had all his shits together. That was exactly what she felt when Yuta came into their life the first time.

“I really like him. I don’t want you to think that I hate him, or anything, but I’m still afraid,” Taeyong confessed. Yuta was a lot and the last months spent together just showed that better. He was pure energy. He knew so many interesting things. You could have a conversation with him about anything, from the dumbest things to the biggest world problems and you just knew it was going to be the greatest conversation of your life. He was funny and witty and sarcastic. He was just so much. So many beautiful things and Taeyong couldn’t get mad at them for falling for him, God, he even made his way into his heart. Sure, it wasn’t love, but Yuta was great, and it was amazing having him around. And that terrified him.

“I know. Why don’t you talk to him? Maybe it will make you feel better.”

“No, it won’t. I trust you, but there are those voices in my head sometimes that just make me think that I don’t deserve this.”

“Once we’re back at home promise me that you’ll go back to therapy, please?”

Taeyong nodded, pressing his lips together. He knew he needed to. He couldn’t just throw everything away. He didn’t want to lose what they had. Finally, their little patch of paradise was back again, and he didn’t want to lose it. He didn’t want to lose them. “I promise.”

“Good. Want to help me cut the watermelon?” She asked, getting up from the couch. Maybe it was also time to stop the two rabbits from fucking on every surface they found and spend some time together.

“Yeah. Oh, wait,” he said, stopping her in her tracks. “I actually think you and Yuta look good together. You should shoot your shot.”

A small smile curled her lips. “Not afraid anymore?”

“I am, but I also know that he’s an amazing person and would never hurt you. So, if he also makes you happy, don’t try to push it away and tell him.”

Jade smiled and pulled him close to kiss him. He had so many highs and lows but always tried his best and she couldn’t be prouder of him.

“I’ll listen to your advice then,” she said, before kissing him gently again. “I love you.”

“Are you two done fucking?” Jade screamed, banging her hand on their bedroom door.

“Shh, what are you screaming at? We were sleeping,” Jaehyun mumbled, running a hand over his face after opening the door, only covered in his underwear.

“This room smells like sex, it’s sickening,” she replied, fake gagging.

“I’m sure you wouldn’t complain if you were in this bed,” Yuta teased, lifting his body from the mattress, and staring at her with sleepy eyes.

She rolled her eyes. Maybe he was right, but she wasn’t letting him win. “Still, you’ve been here all evening as if you didn’t pass me around the whole afternoon.”

“Want to join us?”

“God,” she screamed, walking back. “You’re so horny, what the fuck.”

“I was just joking,” Jaehyun replied. “What do you want?”

“There’s watermelon downstairs, figured out you wanted to put something in your stomach after fucking like rabbits.”

“And you think watermelon is going to feed us?” Yuta asked, finally getting up from the bed, not caring he was completely naked, it wasn’t like she didn’t see him before.

“Well, if you’re hungry cook something. The fridge shouldn’t be empty.”

“Fine, we’ll come in a minute,” Jaehyun said and then closed the door when Jade nodded and turned around to walk downstairs.

“Look who’s with us again,” Johnny taunted as soon as Yuta and Jaehyun appeared in the kitchen, heading outside to the porch.

Jaehyun stuck his tongue out and then they walked where Jade and Taeyong were setting up the plates.

“Here we are,” Yuta exclaimed, wrapping his hands around Jade’s waist and playfully biting the skin of her shoulder.

“Yeah, I realized that,” she joked, rolling her eyes and then straightening up so she could turn around and push him away. Maybe resisting him was harder than expected. But Yuta was so confusing. Or better, what they had was so confusing. It felt like a high school crush kind of thing, but at the same time, their friend-like relationship was so mature that she couldn’t understand how their dynamics really worked. “Come on, sit down and let’s eat something,” she added, trying to shrug off the feeling that was rising in her chest. She just wanted to kiss him like she did with the others, but what did he feel for her? She had no idea, and she knew this wasn’t the place and time to think about it. It was fine for now, whatever they had was good. They would’ve thought about it once at home. When reality was going to crash on them once again.

And almost as if he read her mind, Yuta said, “do we really have to come back?”

“We can’t run away from our responsibilities forever,” Johnny replied, placing the tray with the slices on the table and sitting next to Taeyong.

“Okay, and what are we going to do once we’re back?” He asked, sitting between Jade and Jaehyun.

“Face the real world,” Jaehyun replied. “I talked to my manager the other day, he said that somebody still wants me and for October I should have some jobs. I’m pretty sure all of you are going to be fine, too. I’m just worried for you, Yong.”

Taeyong shrugged. He didn’t even think about his job for so long. At this point, he could simply stay at home and take care of the house. And about the house…

“Why don’t we think about the fact we don’t have a place to stay?” Taeyong replied instead.

“Well, nobody kicked us out of that apartment,” Johnny replied, grabbing a slice of watermelon.

“Yeah, but there’s no place for Yuta,” the brown-haired remembered.

A smile appeared on Yuta’s face. Well, at least in all that mess they came a long way. It was unexpected that Taeyong was the one worrying about him being with them, but it was nice.

“I can stay at my place, there’s no problem for me,” he still said. Seriously, it wasn’t a problem for him, even if he couldn’t deny he liked having all of them around. The thing that scared him the most wasn’t even his relationship with Jaehyun, they were dating, they could go out on dates, and he could go to his place, but what about Jade? What were they? The idea of not seeing her every day anymore saddened him and, honestly, scared him, too. What if their story wasn’t going to develop because of that? Well, if they had a story. He had no idea what was going on between them.

“No, Yong’s right,” Jaehyun said, after taking a bite. “We had found a home before, and we’ll find one even now. I don’t care.”

“Isn’t it risky? You don’t have the stability you had before,” Yuta noted. He really loved how enthusiastic Jaehyun was about everything but sometimes he would dream a little too much, and the risk of getting hurt right now was high.

“We have money saved in our bank account, and three of you have stable jobs, and I know my career isn’t over.”

“Maybe we should wait,” Jade said. “Get back a little earlier and see if they can find something for you before this fall and also see if you can find something else,” she finished, looking at Taeyong.

“I know you wanted to give us a better place, Jay,” Johnny added, “but it went like this and there’s nothing we can do. We’ll get there, let’s just be patient a little more.”

“I thought none of you wanted to get away from here,” Jaehyun chuckled, looking at the others who all seemed to agree about leaving earlier than they initially planned.

“I mean, this place is surely heaven on earth, but we have our little paradise everywhere we go. And I think it’s better to stay in London, in our home,” Yuta said, caressing his knee.

“Fine, then. I’ll contact my manager to let him know his scandalous supermodel is coming back earlier.”

“Oh, come on, people must be tired by now of us, right?” Johnny huffed, rolling his eyes. He couldn’t believe people had nothing to do to the point they would obsess so much over them.

“Don’t know, didn’t check any social in ages,” Jaehyun replied.

“Does it matter?” Yuta asked. “I mean, people are going to talk anyway, you might as well rub your happiness to their faces.”

“You mean being public?” Jaehyun asked, looking at him with wide eyes. Sure, they were free now, but he still wasn’t sure he wanted to make their relationship public.

“Well, aren’t we, already?”

“I don’t know, I just want them to forget.”

“But they won’t forget,” Taeyong replied, surprising everybody. “We’ll never go back the way we were before, and at this point, Yuta’s right. You might as well brag about us, treat us like you would treat us if this was considered normal by society. I’m not saying to also post when we go to the bathroom like those influencers do, but don’t hold back if we go somewhere and you want to share it. Normalize us.”

“Are you sure? Even you?”

“Yeah, they know much worst things about me than my face,” Taeyong chuckled.

“Okay, some other requests from me?” The younger joked, chortling.

“Maybe you could start right now by taking some pictures of us and then we’ll decide what to post,” Johnny replied, smiling at him fondly.

“Fuck, I’m so nervous. I didn’t feel like this even with my first class,” Taeyong mumbled, pacing back and forth in their living room. The new living room of their new home. The place that marked their brand-new start.

“You’ll do great,” Jade tried to reassure him, but it was pretty much useless. He didn’t even sleep that night and was up getting ready three hours before now.

“What if they’ll judge me for that? What if I’ll become the clown of the whole Academy?”

“Oh, please, just stop,” Yuta said, handing him his suitcase and his coat. “You’re dealing with twenty years old, not high schoolers. And you’re fucking great at what you do. If they complain about your teaching skills, they’ll have to see it with me.”

“Yeah, maybe with more kindness, but what he said,” Jade added, wrapping her hands around Yuta’s arms and peeking her head behind him.

“No kindness, I’ll come to talk to the principal if they tell you something,” Yuta retorted, and Taeyong giggled. Well, they definitely grew close in the last two, almost three, months.

“But nothing will happen, so you can calm down,” Jade tranquillized him, smiling at them.

“Something will happen if Johnny isn’t ready in ten,” the eldest replied, biting on his nails, obsessively looking at the clock.

“Johnny,” Jade screamed so he could hear her from the upper floor. Johnny wanted to maintain the tradition of going to work together when he had morning shifts, but he had to be ready on time, or else Taeyong was going to snap.

“Wait,” Yuta called Taeyong’s attention again, searching for something in the pocket of his pants. “Take this,” he said, handing a clear quartz stone to him. “It will protect you from all the negativity in this new challenge.”

Taeyong smiled brightly at him, and grabbed the stone, bringing it to his heart, saying, “thank you, I needed this.” And maybe it was just a brain trick, but he felt a little calmer and more positive, and he was sure it was going to help him during the day. Having something that reminded him of each of them helped him go through every single day.

“I’m here,” the oldest screamed, running down from the first floor and reaching the hall. “I’m ready, let’s go. Bye,” he greeted before leaning in to leave a kiss on Jade’s lips and Yuta’s cheek.

“Good luck, baby,” the other two waved at Taeyong before Johnny closed the door behind, leaving the two alone.

Leaving them alone.

Now, it wouldn’t have been awkward if it wasn’t the first time they were all to themselves.

If everything went back into its place —more or less— what they had was still confusing.

The trial against the people that screwed them was almost over, and most importantly, Jiwoo had a restraining order and couldn’t get close to any of them ever again.

They had found a house pretty soon. And it had exactly everything they wanted and maybe even more. Enough rooms, big windows, a garden, a small pool inside, a ground floor and then two others, a fireplace, and five bathrooms.

Jaehyun’s career was starting to take off once again, with minor projects, but it was always a start, better than nothing. Johnny finally had opened his studio and was doing very well. Jade had started working again as the harsh DMS finally came to a stop. Yuta started working in another agency as a translator. And, best of it all, Taeyong had been hired by a renowned Fashion Academy that paid him better than the high school and offered him more opportunities.

So, they all lived together happily. Yuta had grown close to every single one of them, he even became friends with Taeyong, and, surprisingly, they were very protective of each other.

But there was a little problem. Jade had no idea where to put him in her heart. She deeply cared for him, and they had an amazing relationship, but she never felt more confused about her feelings in her life. Was he just attractive or did he make her heart skip a beat every time their hands brushed together because she was starting to fall for him? Was he just really good with words or was she so gone for him that she would’ve listened to him talk for days without complaining?

“So, we have the place all to ourselves,” Yuta said, turning around, facing Jade that wasn’t looking at him.

She shook her head, coming down from her thoughts. “Yeah. Are you busy?”

Yuta shrugged. “Nope. Want to do something together or want to be alone?”

Jade swallowed; she couldn’t avoid him forever. She had to face him one way or another, so maybe it was better to dig deep into this and try to see if he wanted her as well. And what better way to understand it if not by being together?

“No, we can do something. I don’t know what, but we can.”

“The garden’s a mess, we could set up the things under the porch and cut the weeds,” he proposed. That wasn’t something exciting or funny, but it was something to keep them busy.

“Fine, but put a coat on, it’s chilly outside.”

October wasn’t extremely cold, but it was pretty windy that day. And once they were all covered up, they went outside from the kitchen back door and observed the terrible state of the garden.

“Wow, we really didn’t take care of this at all,” she exclaimed, looking around at all the boxes under the porch or the swing that still had the old cushions of the old owner, and so did the other poufs that completed the outside ‘living room’.

“I mean, we were busy with the inside,” Yuta said, handing her a big bag to start putting in all the things they could throw away. The house wasn’t old like the other they had found before, but it still needed some fixing, so they didn’t pay much attention to the outside and focused on finishing the small works inside. They also had many things to move from their old place, and it took a lot of work. Not to mention the entire days spent looking for new furniture and making sure everything would fit with the new dimensions of the place. Luckily enough, they all had pretty similar tastes and they didn’t have to fight over the style of the house.

“Do you know if anything inside these boxes could be useful?” Jade asked, pointing at the four boxes against the wall.

“I think there are some things from my place and yours,” Yuta replied, broomstick in hand as he cleaned the pavement of the fallen leaves.

“Okay, let’s clean this up, and then let’s bring them inside and see what we can keep,” Jade said, putting other things back in their place; there was a barbeque, the lawnmower, a cabinet they still didn’t use and other tools for the maintenance of the garden.

“What about the bushes of roses?”

“Don’t touch them,” she said straight away and almost passed out when she saw him with garden scissors in hand. “Taeyong deals with flowers, he might kill you if you do something wrong.”

“But he didn’t plant those.”

“I know, but it doesn’t change a thing,” she explained. “He has the green fingers of our house.”

Yuta chuckled, handing her the scissors so she could put them back into the cabinet. “Why does he like flowers so much?”

Jade shrugged and then signalled him to help her remove the covers of the cushion of the swing. “I don’t really know, but I guess they bring him hope. Flowers are for him what crystals are for you,” she guessed. Taeyong never explained where his passion came from. “Maybe he likes the idea of eternal re-birth? I mean, it’s fascinating if you think about it, flowers will die but then will come back again when the right time comes. I think that brings him comfort.”

Yuta nodded, placing the first cover behind him, on top of the cabinet against the wall. “And you? What brings you comfort?”

Jade stopped her movements and let out an embarrassed laugh. “I… you mean, things? Or people?”

“Things. I have crystals, Taeyong has flowers, and you? Are you a dreamer like us or cynical like Jaehyun?”

She laughed lowly and then said, “I’m a pisces, stereotypically I live in another dimension,” she joked. “But seriously, the universe brings me comfort.”

Yuta raised a brow. “Oh, wow, something so big and scary?”

“Well, there’s a reason. When I was younger, looking up at the sky and reminding myself I was just a tiny little thing in something so big, helped me to don’t be too harsh on myself. It didn’t work always, but sometimes it did. The universe is a reminder that I don’t carry the weight of the world on my shoulders, that nobody’s going to remember my mistakes one day.”

“How’s that comforting? That’s even scarier.”

“I never found it scary, I found it reassuring. You know what reassured me the most?” She asked, and when he shook his head, she went on. “When I found out that studies proved that we are atoms of stars from other galaxies that have died. Every time that I felt like I was nothing, I reminded myself that I was once up there in the sky, where our gaze can’t even reach. I needed to remind myself that a part of me once was close to being infinity and that maybe that little bit of magic was still inside of me and would’ve helped to carry through every day. I know, it’s crazy, absurd, and delusional, but it was one of the few things that pushed me to make it every single day. And as I said before, the idea of going back there again and becoming who knows what once I was gone, brought me relief.”

“You didn’t have a nice life before?”

“Nope, that’s why I started studying the universe and that’s why I held onto this whole weird thing so much. The universe, so big, scary, and unknown, was my home. It was my place.”

Yuta nodded, he still didn’t find it so reassuring, but it made sense. “And then?”

“And then I guess I found my place on earth,” she giggled. “I know it’s cliché, the whole way we always say we fit so perfectly, but I really think this was destined and I don’t even want to think about if we didn’t find each other. I know people don’t heal you, and I know that love doesn’t do magic but without love at your side, everything just gets harder. If Taeyong didn’t have us, he wouldn’t be here but would be back in that hell. If I didn’t have Jaehyun and Johnny, I would be struggling to make it at the end of the day since I’d also have to look after my sister again. And if it wasn’t for all the mess that happened, we wouldn’t be so close to you now.”

He nodded, biting his lower lip for a second and then letting go. “Trying to see the good in everything?”

“I mean, I’m not happy that happened. But it taught us a lesson, and yes, it brought us closer. I know we started on a bad track, but I really care for you, Yuta.”

“A confession all of a sudden? I think it’s pretty clear you don’t want to make me end like French nobles in 1700 anymore.”

“Oh, stop it, we never hated you that much.”

“So, I guess you believe this is kind of the universe bringing us together?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to think that simply because that could also mean that a bigger force could pull us apart, but I like to think that the stars looked over us. I don’t know how we didn’t break up when Taeyong was convinced it was you.”

“I didn’t want to create much chaos when I came into your life,” Yuta said, helping her carry inside the covers.

“I know, we all know that. You just arrived in our lives at an unfortunate moment.”

“Can I ask you something?” Yuta asked as he watched her push the sheets inside the washing machine and start it after pouring the detergent.

“Yes, shoot.”

“Did you really think I was guilty?”

Jade sighed. “Honestly? No. I mean, it was true that everything led to you, but I really couldn’t believe you would do something like that to us.”

“So, I guess Taeyong has a lot of power over you,” he whispered, looking at her as he followed her outside again to grab the boxes.

“It’s not power, but we tend to be a little overprotective when it comes to him. You have to walk on your tiptoes around him, and I know it’s not an excuse and we treated you terribly, but his past life was on the line, and the idea that somebody that he let close screwed him up wasn’t something easy to deal with.” It had been hard having to deal with him, and she knew that probably Yuta wasn’t going to get how hard it actually was to be around Taeyong when he had his lows. But it was like this. And sure, it all put them through much more pain, but it wasn’t something he could control. Maybe if his past wasn’t splashed on the front pages of the news, he wouldn’t have reacted that badly. Probably he wouldn’t have even cared much even if it had been Yuta to slip somewhere.

“He doesn’t open up easily, does he?”

“Nope, but I think he opened up with you already a lot. Don’t feel like he doesn’t care about you if he doesn’t tell you everything,” she reassured him, opening the first box and realizing there was a whole set of plates they never used. “But at least he started going back to therapy and he’s doing great. Trust me, he got a lot better. I think he wants to leave things in the past, now.” Also, Taeyong wasn’t so close to him to tell him the whole story. Not even Jaehyun and Johnny knew some details that he had only confessed to her.

“And you?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, the whole thing about needing an escape, not having a home.”

She sighed. Oh, shit, that’s what she hated about getting to know people, especially when it was romantically. She had to open up. “You have a lot of sisters, too, right?”

“Yes. There’s four of us.”

“We’re five. But I basically had to raise them. And well, let’s just say my house wasn’t the place I felt the safest in the world.” She was going to let him know more, but not now. One day. If she felt like cutting the wound open again. “But what about you? Do you miss your family?”

Yuta smiled and then pulled out of the box some blankets, and other stuff he didn’t even remember he owned. “I do. They were worried about me when they heard this.”

“It reached Japan?”

“Not the news, if that’s what you’re worried about. But my sisters are big fans of Jaehyun so you can imagine,” he rolled his eyes thinking about the messages he received when they found out.

“So, you mean they were jealous?” Jade joked.

“Yeah, but they were also happy and couldn’t wait to brag about having him as their brother-in-law, it was funny.”

“So, your parents know, right?”

“No,” he confessed, pressing his lips together.

“No?”

“I wasn’t sure you still wanted me in this, so I told my sisters that everything between me and him was over, and to don’t say a word to our parents. They never cared about stupid gossip anyway, so it didn’t reach them.”

“You think they won’t accept it?”

“I don’t know, I just didn’t think it was worth taking the risk when I thought we were done. I don’t know if I would want to be in something like this with anybody else. I mean, back then I only loved him unlike now,” when he realized what he had said it was already too late and Jade looked up at him with wide eyes and mouth slightly open. “I mean, I care for you. All of you,” he specified with an awkward smile and scratching his neck. And that wasn’t something that fit his persona. Yuta was confident, straightforward, and not like this. Not tongue-tied.

And Jade wanted to pry more but then simply nodded and said, “and now? Would you tell them? Don’t they ask where you are?”

“I said I moved to a bigger place but well no, I didn’t talk about any of you. I don’t know, I’m worried. It’s not like I’m ashamed of what we have but it’s scary. What if they don’t understand?”

Jade hummed. “Then don’t tell them until you’re ready. You have a great relationship with them, I can imagine why you don’t want it to ruin it.”

“I’m not even sure they’ll be against it, my parents are open-minded so…”

“Yeah, but nobody’s running after you, right? So just give it time. Or maybe just talk about Jaehyun,” she stopped and sighed, trying to push the sadness away. “In the end, he’s the only one you’re dating.”

Jade had no idea if it was a joke of destiny, but she and Yuta spent more and more time together now that Taeyong was always busy at the Academy. The fact she worked from home and most of the time Yuta did the same, didn’t help at trying to keep her distance from him. Not that she wanted. She found herself craving to be with him more than she could ever imagine.

There was something mysterious about him that drew her closer and closer every day. The more she got to know him, the more she found nothing about him was what it seemed. But he let her know things little by little, almost as if he wanted to make her come back to him every single day. He had an incredible collection of comics. He had probably watched every single Sci-Fi movie ever made. One year he had read something like fifty books. He once started writing a book but then never found the courage to publish it and now had no idea where it was.

Yuta was cool and she kept falling for him every single day. Yes, falling. Because now she was sure it wasn’t just liking him or finding him hot.

But the thing that confused her the most was that the feelings seemed reciprocated. They just kept getting closer every day. Well, at least when they were alone, because as soon as somebody else passed the door frame they would go back to base one.

Like right now.

“Did you know the sunset on Mars is blue?” Yuta told her out of the blue. It was around four and outside was raining, so they decided to make hot chocolate and stay on the couch while the turntable played some music. But they were done eating and Yuta felt particularly tired, so he decided to lay his head on her lap and rest. And Jade’s hands automatically found their place in his hair, caressing him softly.

“No? Really?”

Yuta hummed and snuggled closer to her, resting a hand on her thigh. “I read that it’s because of the fine dust of Mars’ atmosphere, it makes the blue more visible.”

“Read that trying to impress me?” She joked, daring to caress the skin of his cheek, thinking to herself how he looked like a cat right now.

“No, it was a pure casualty, but it made me think about you. I wanted to tell you sooner but then it slipped my mind.”

She smiled, feeling her heart do a small flip in her chest. It made me think about you. She couldn’t even describe what that phrase made her feel. She crossed his mind. She popped up in his thoughts even when she wasn’t around.

“Oh, that’s nice. Well, I didn’t know it, I just I kind of stopped learning about space at some point.”

“We could read something about it together,” he proposed, trying to fight the sleep, but it was harder with every passing second with her soft caresses. She brought him so much cosiness. It was nice to be in her arms and just unwind.

“Yeah, why not. We could stop by the library tomorrow.”

Yuta hummed and then closed his eyes. “Yeah, I’d love to. Can you talk about something?”

“About what?”

“Anything,” he replied. “I just want to hear you talk.”

Jade hesitated for a moment but then started talking about all the things she could remember about the universe. It might’ve been useful to review since they wanted to read something more together, right? Also, it was the only topic that came to her mind.

And Yuta fell asleep to the sound of her voice telling him the most interesting facts she knew as she never stopped caressing his hair. And after a while sleep took over her, too.

And that was exactly how the others found them when they came home, tangled in each other’s arms, sleeping peacefully.

“For how long do you think they’re going to keep hiding it?” Taeyong asked with a scoff, looking at his boyfriends.

Jaehyun snickered. “Well, I don’t know. It’s weird Yuta’s acting like this. Usually, he’s pretty straightforward.”

“Yeah, but it’s the Jade effect,” Johnny joked. “No, seriously. Maybe he’s just afraid. He didn’t plan to fall for somebody else and now it happened.”

“Okay but for how long do I have to come to your studio after school so we can leave them alone?” Taeyong asked before taking a sip from his hot chocolate, some leftovers they didn’t drink.

“As if you mind spending so much time with him,” Jaehyun pushed him playfully, almost making him fall from the chair.

“I don’t, but after entire mornings at school I’d like to spend some time at home.”

“He’s jealous he doesn’t have a whole day with Jade.”

Taeyong glared at Johnny and then punched Jaehyun that was laughing and said, “I’m not jealous. At least I can kiss her, meanwhile, if he waits some more, she will find somebody new to replace him.”

“Just give them time,” Jaehyun said. “I’ll see what I can do with him, maybe he needs a shake.”

“Or maybe we could help them,” Johnny smirked.

“How?” Taeyong asked, already fearing what he came up with.

“Do you trust me?” He asked, raising a brow.

“No,” the other two replied together.

Listening to Johnny was the last thing Taeyong and Jaehyun wanted to do but it was their only option, especially when Jade and Yuta kept being dumb and dumber.

So, their plan was one: talk about the other as much as they could —of course, it had to seem casual— and try to find a way to make them spend even more time together.

“Why don’t you go shopping?” Johnny yawned, stretching his back as he took a look at what they had in the cradles and the fridge, finding them almost empty.

“Us?” Jade asked, pointing between her and Yuta.

Johnny nodded, running a hand on his face and yawning again. “I’m wrecked, you’ve been in all week. And since it’s raining it’s better not to go alone. I’ll go take a shower, okay?” He said before disappearing upstairs so they couldn’t complain.

“Okay, just let me put something more decent on,” Jade said, getting up from her seat and rushing upstairs.

“’kay, ‘m done,” she announced, reaching him that was already waiting next to the door. “Your car or mine?”

“Let’s take mine, I’ll drive.”

As soon as they stepped out of the house, pouring rain welcomed them, they didn’t open an umbrella and just rushed to the car, starting it immediately to head to the grocery shop. The drive was quiet, the only sounds that filled the vehicle were the music playing from the radio and their hums to the rhythm.

That was the first time they did something like this together, something so domestic even. Jade actually liked a lot to go buy things with her partners. Yes, grocery shopping can get stressful at times, but she oddly found it romantic. Maybe it was the idea that they were going to buy food that they would’ve cooked and eaten together or simply the fact that it was for a place that they could call home, or maybe she simply enjoyed being together. Whatever was the reason, she liked these types of dates.

But this wasn’t a date, right? Then why was she feeling the same way she felt when she went there with her boyfriends?

She couldn’t seem to hold in the smile on her face while she stared at Yuta’s back as he pushed the cart and looked around in the aisle to find what they needed. Just like it was hard to don’t intertwine their fingers together when they stopped, and she rested her hand next to his on the handle.

“Should we take something to eat tonight? Like, food we can just put in the oven and wait for it to be done,” Yuta proposed when they reached the freezers. It seemed like nobody wanted to cook back at home, Johnny was tired, Taeyong had been locked in his room all afternoon to grade some projects and Jaehyun wasn’t even home yet. And well, he never wanted to cook, to be honest.

Jade hummed, eyes scanning the clear doors to see what to grab. “Yeah, chose something while I go grab the other things?”

“Putting the responsibility of dinner in my hands?” He joked, looking at her.

“Pick something that has potatoes or mozzarella inside and you won’t go wrong,” she replied. “Oh, and maybe spring rolls? I love them.”

“Yep, I’ll get them for you.”

She smiled and before walking away she leaned in close to him to leave a peck on his cheeks without even thinking twice, leaving him speechless.

He nodded and then a dumb smile crept on his lips as he watched her walk away almost jumping happily. Fuck. He thought. He was in deep.

And the drive back home didn’t help him to don’t think that maybe, just maybe, he had lost control over the situation.

He would’ve listened to her talking for hours. She was so messy, changing the course of the conversation ten thousand times, making silly jokes just to laugh them away embarrassed, and then turning serious again just to add information that made no sense at all with the topic she was discussing, but he couldn’t care. He loved it.

And that was the problem.

He enjoyed being around her way too much. And he hated that he couldn’t have her.

But how did it work? Was it okay for him to tell her what he felt? Or was this just going to be awkward? And what if they didn’t work out? What if in reality they were just really good friends and he just enjoyed having her around. He also enjoyed being around Taeyong and Johnny, so how could he tell if she was different? Maybe it felt different just because they had sex before but, in the end, she, Johnny, and Taeyong were on the same level.

But if truly was only that, she was really good at messing with his heart.

Or like right now that Jaehyun and Yuta were at a café together. It was almost time to go, when Taeyong sent him a massage.

“Oh, it’s Yong,” Jaehyun said, opening the text to see that it was a video. “Let’s see.” He opened it, pretending he had no idea at all it was a video of Jade.

Taeyong was moving the camera up and down to show him that Jade was intertwined with him while she was peacefully sleeping on his chest. And then whispered, “wanted to start the day early but she’s not letting me go. If the house is a mess when you come back, you know why.”

Jaehyun giggled and then placed the phone on the table again. “She’s so clingy when she wants to.”

Yuta smiled, trying not to pay attention to the feeling of jealousy that was feeling in his chest. He wanted to do that too.

“I think she’s sweet,” he whispered almost afraid of saying it out loud.

“Why are you so shy with compliments? Acting as if you didn’t fuck her before without thinking twice.” Jaehyun’s tone was lighthearted but he really couldn’t understand why it was so hard for them to admit they felt something for each other. Jade didn’t hesitate that much even when it came to Johnny. So why with him? And why after everything that had been between them?

“I’m not. I was just thinking that she loves all of you a lot, and that’s cute.”

“She definitely has a lot of love to give,” Jaehyun replied, trying to make him get that there was also enough love for him, but Yuta wasn’t even listening to him.

“I think it’s endearing how different she acts with all of you,” he noted and lifted his gaze to look at Jaehyun. “The way she’s more protective with Taeyong and then the way she acts more carefree with you and Johnny. It’s like she pampers him, and you pamper her.”

Jaehyun’s lips turned up in a soft smile because Yuta was right. They balanced each other well with their different dynamics. “And with you? How’s she with you?”

Yuta coughed, not expecting that question. “We’re friends.”

“Yeah, but how’s she? You two act strange with each other, more now than when we first started to get to know.”

His boyfriend didn’t know how to answer that question. It turned out it was awkward to talk about her with him. What if Jaehyun was jealous? He was protective when it came to her, and Yuta was afraid of saying or doing something wrong. But thinking about it for a moment, he realized that he had no idea how to define their dynamics. “Well, I think we’re equal? I don’t know. It’s different.”

“I think she really likes you. You’re right, though. You two strangely have a similar energy, probably that’s why you work so well together,” Jaehyun said, so nonchalantly that Yuta wasn’t sure he was serious. But he was, dead serious.

“We do?”

“Yeah. You both get really hyped sometimes and just have these outbursts of energy, while other times you are completely chill in your world and it’s almost scary how silent you can be. And sometimes, I don’t think you even realize, you two stop and judge the same things with the same disgusted expressions. It’s funny.”

Yuta gulped. Was it true? He couldn’t understand how they were, but Jaehyun looked at them from the outside, he knew them more than any of the others, so there was truth in his words.

“And also, Taeyong. I know it sounds absurd but, the other day, the three of you were all together on the sofa watching that tv show and how can I say, the energy you radiated was the same.” He knew his plan wasn’t to make him open his eyes about Taeyong, but he truly thought that. He could feel it in his bones that the three of them had a great potential together. “I could be romantic and say that you all have amazing characteristics that bring you together but, to be honest, I think what brings you together it’s the high possibility of one of you committing murder and the other two helping to hide the evidences. Probably why you started so terribly.”

“Hey! That’s not a compliment.”

“No, it was just to say how unhinged you are.”

“So, let’s say that if hypothetically we committed a murder, you and Johnny wouldn’t side with us.”

“Hypothetically, I’m saying that you would get a life lecture by Johnny while he panics and already starts to imagine in what country we could run off forever and it would probably take me like ten good minutes to realize what’s going on.”

“In conclusion, we’re all going to jail, so no murder on the list.”

The younger laughed and then shook his head, going back to the main topic. “What I was trying to say is that you easily side with each other. You get so defensive over each other and do dumb shits together without realizing it.”

“Well, considering where we started, it’s nice our friendship came such a long way.”

Jaehyun wanted to slam his head against the table. Friendship. If Yuta kept going on like this, he was the one being charged with murder.

Rain was falling down as usual in the last week, but luckily for them, it was the weekend, and nobody had to go to work, so they were all at home; some were sleeping, and some were keeping up with their hobbies.

The house smelt like autumn more than ever thanks to Taeyong’s mix of sliced oranges, cinnamon, and star anise put in a pot with water and left there to fill the house with the sweet aroma. He had read somewhere it was a better option than candles and now couldn’t stop doing it.

Jade was in the living room, curled up on the couch, reading a book she had started ages ago and never finished. She was alone until she felt the sofa bend and a body come closer to hers.

She turned around and smiled when Johnny rested his head against her arm.

“Hey,” she greeted, passing the book to her other hand so she could caress the back of his neck.

“Hey,” he said back, smiling brightly at her. “Reading?”

“Yep, what does it look like?”

“I mean, I wanted to know if you were really into it, or you could pay me attention.”

She chuckled. “I was pretty much into it, you ruined the plot twist. Aren’t the others free to give you some attention?”

Johnny shook his head. “Nope. Jaehyun’s sleeping, and Taeyong and Yuta are doing something together.”

Jade smiled. “They’re always together lately, how the turns have tabled.”

Johnny rolled his eyes at the joke but then laughed lowly. “Jealous?”

“Why would I? It’s funny to see how close they got.”

Johnny nodded and then said, “well, even you and Yuta got close.”

“We were close even before, we’re good friends.”

The older scoffed and she furrowed. “What?”

“Friends? Really?”

Jade shrugged. “Well, it’s what we are. It’s not like we all have to date…”

“Yeah, but you don’t really act like friends.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, please, just because we fucked? It was a one-time thing that just happened. Can I go back to my book now?”

Johnny shook his head. “Nope, pay attention to me.”

“Please, you can just stay here, and we can cuddle while I read.”

Johnny pouted but then gave in, even if it didn’t last long. His hands sneaked under the blanket that covered her body and started caressing her thigh, making her squirm.

“Johnny, what are you doing?”

“Testing how much you are into the book.”

She cursed lowly, “I am, you don’t have to prove it.”

“Then read it out loud for me,” he said as his hand passed past the band of her gym pants and teased her through her panties.

“O-out loud?” She asked, voice tightening in her throat, cursing him for the moment he decided to arrive. Right at that point of the book.

“You’re acting as if the book is sucking you into another dimension, if you’re enjoying it so much, I shouldn’t be a distraction.”

She huffed and then coughed to clear her voice and started reading out loud. “His fingers snuck under the edge of my panties, grazing the hair and skin there and making my legs wobble at the pleasure of the powerful contact,” she whispered, voice low and skin burning up all over her body as she could feel the sneaky smirk on Johnny’s face.

“Is this what you read?” He asked teasingly. “All this time I thought you were so caught up in something... deeper,” he snickered.

“I —” she tried to defend.

“No, no, angel,” he stopped her. “Maybe I should do the same things he does. Come on, go on, tell me what happens next. I’m dying to know.”

She gulped, cleared her throat, and then went on, “Aaron’s hold on my hip tightened, pulling my back against his hard length, and I felt it pulsating against my skin, even though the fabric of his pants.”

“Like this?” Johnny asked, the hand that wasn’t inside her panties, tightened around her hip, and his hips rolled against her ass, making her feel his hardness. A whimper escaped her lips as she felt how hard he was already.

“Do I make you this hard?” She asked, turning around a little to look at him, trying to flip who had control of the reins. “In just, what, three minutes?”

“You do affect me in a short time,” he replied, kissing her neck, small pecks, running up her skin, breath fanning against it, making her shiver. “But I have to admit I was thinking about you,” he whispered, thumb starting to graze her clit, automatically making her part her legs more. “Do you remember that video you send me where you were taking care of yourself?”

She hummed, pushing back against him, hand gripping tight the book to don’t make it drop.

“I have it saved in my storage and when I miss you I go back to it. You’re so hot, even when you disobey,” he hummed. “But I like you better when you behave, so keep going, angel. Read for me.”

She nodded, trying to shake the haze out of her mind and focus on the ink on the paper that already appeared doubled in her bliss-filled vision. “Continuing his path, his fingers finally reached my wet folds, pressing for just an instant and then gliding down slowly,” she closed her eyes when Johnny did the exact same thing, fingers touching her where she was already dripping. The other part of the book had got her so turned on this was so embarrassing, but at the same time so exciting. “My lips parted as a moan climbed out of my body. I hadn’t been this wet or turned on in my entire life. “Fuck.” Aaron’s curse wasn’t more than a rasp. “Is this all for me?”

“Tell me,” Johnny started saying, fingers pressing right against her entrance, making her buck her hips, silently praying for him to slide it in. “Does she answer or is she just like you? Not being able to let out a word since the start?”

She skimmed through the lines and then replied, “she — she doesn’t, it’s just a whimper.”

Johnny snickered. “That’s why you like this book that much then.”

“No, please, can you, can you slide one in?”

“One? Would one finger be enough?” He teased her, smearing her wetness around. “We decided to follow the book, remember? What does he do? Does he give her what she wants, or does he make her wait?”

“He gives her what she wants,” she replied immediately.

“I don’t trust you. Read, if your brain can still process something.”

She gulped, forcing herself to read the lines as soon as possible so he could give her what she needed. “If I slide my fingers inside your pussy, I’m going to lose control,” he told me in a deep and inky voice. A warning, a promise. “Is that something you are ready for?” His thumb started circling my clit, almost bringing me to my knees.”

“See, that’s not what you want, or is it?” He started to rub his thumb on her clit, but the movements were slow, they were barely giving her any pleasure.

“But he does, he asks her after and he does,” she complained, eyes trying to be faster to run on the pages to get there, where she finally asks for more and he gives it to her.

“Mhh, let’s see then. It’s quite keeping me on the edge, I’m eager to know what happens next.”

“My — my back arched. “Aaron.” His voice lowered even further. “That’s not an answer, baby.” His fingers increased their pace, making me light-headed.”

“Do you think that this is the speed? Is this enough for you? Is he fucking her like this?” He asked while his thumb started picking pace, finally giving her more.

“Yes, that’s exactly how I imagine it.”

“Good. See, you just have to be patient. What comes next?”

“I can’t read this,” she whispered, face falling against the cushions to hide after she took a glimpse of the following words.

“Oh, I bet you can. How dirty can it be? Anything you’ve never heard before? I hardly believe it.”

“He asks her what she wants,” Jade tried to cut it short, to avoid the embarrassment of having to read those words out loud.

“How? If you don’t go on, I’ll suppose he won’t do a thing and I’ll stop too,” he warned, thumb already decreasing in swiftness.

“No, no, don’t stop, I’ll go on,” she whimpered, chest heavy and body burning. “Do you want me to get you off and hold you until you fall asleep?” His other hand... rose to my breast, teasing my nipple,” she stopped, swallowing, “or do you want me to claim it with my cock?”

“Those were the scary words? I bet they don’t get you so ashamed when you’re reading all alone, right?”

“It’s different,” she complained.

Johnny chuckled. “I think I know what you would want. You want to be claimed, don’t you?”

“Yes, please,” she whimpered, closing the book, hoping Johnny was finally going to leave it to the side but he pulled away from her panties as he clicked his tongue.

“No, no, baby. I also want to know what happens in the book, remember?”

“I, I can’t read this anymore.”

“Then reading session is over,” he said, sitting up straight to leave but she stopped him. “I’ll go on. Stay, please, just stay.”

Johnny smiled —smirked— that same old fucking smirk that would curl his lips when he knew he had her wrapped around his fingers. The smirk that promised —or threatened— the biggest teases of her life, and, as consequence, the best orgasms.

“I’m ready, Aaron.” I brought my hand to his, which was partly covered by my panties. “Take me. All of me.” I tightened my hold on him and pressed both our hands against my center. “Claim me.”

“It’s so weird somehow to hear you say another name, you know,” Johnny whispered against her neck. “Yet you say it, so, so good. You let it out in a whisper almost as if you wanted him to be here. Would you let somebody else have you?”

“N-no, I’m just, getting into the book,” she defended. “The four of you are enough,”

“Four?”

“Three,” she whined, not even realizing what she had said. But Johnny laughed lowly.

“Maybe Yuta is Aaron, maybe he is the one your subconscious wants so bad, isn’t it right?”

“No,” she replied, voice breathy, already feeling her stomach curl because Johnny never stopped moving his skilled fingers on her throbbing sensitive spot between her thighs. “You’re making things up.”

“Sure, but you said four. So you do want him.”

“You should just slip one finger inside, Aaron does that,” she retorted, feeling on the edge of exploding. She couldn’t take it anymore, she needed more.

“I’m sure he does. Does he go fast?” He asked, finally letting one of his long fingers slip inside, a moan ripping past her throat.

She tried to regain control of her brain and read the words written on those pages. “Yes, another one, another finger, please.”

“Is it good?” Johnny’s voice sounded so feral somehow, so different than the usual like he was playing a game of his own, wanting her to be able to split in two, and focus on the pleasure of him and the sinful words.

“So good,” she replied, only focusing on him and the way his two fingers worked so well inside of her, parting her pulsating walls and then curling to hit her sensitive spot inside. His fingers were long, reaching places she could never reach by herself, and he knew how to have her weak in the knees. “It’s too much.”

“For you or her?” He asked, still teasing, never stopping teasing her, smirking proudly as he watched her unfold, completely brainless in his hands.

“Bo-both,” she whispered, rolling her head back, hand holding the book by now limp her at her side, hanging out of the couch.

“I don’t know about her, but you can take much more than this, so you will take it. After begging for it for so long, you want to back away?”

She shook her head, lower lip getting murdered by her teeth as she tried to don’t sound too desperate.

“Go on, show me that you can focus on two things at once.”

“I can’t read anymore, I can’t,” she complained, but just the raise of one of his eyebrows was enough to make her pick up the book again and try to let out some words.

“A million different sorts of sensations cascaded down my body,” she managed to force out, squeezing her brain to focus on what was going on in front of her eyes and not between her legs, “spreading from every point where Aaron was — touching me,” her breath faltered, and she let the blanket fall on the floor, unable to take the heat any longer. “Tattooing my skin. The way he thrust his fingers inside of me. Or how he played with the tips of my breasts.” She almost choked on a moan when Johnny’s hand did the same, slipping past her shirt and cupping her boobs before concentrating on her nipples, attention passing back and forth from one to the other. “The rocking of his hips against my backside, in sync with the plunging of his hand. It was all too much. Too much.”

“Is it too much also for you?” He asked smugly, hard dick grinding right against her ass, making her want to launch the book in the fireplace to don’t give him a reason to tease her more and just fuck her, finally letting her feel him.

“You know it’s too much,” she replied instead.

“Does he let her come?”

“I don’t know,” she replied, confidence broken, no strength at all to look at one black letter anymore.

“Find it out for me, then. Would you, pretty?”

She let out a groan, she couldn’t believe he would be so cruel. “That’s it,” she stopped, walls pulsing hard around his fingers, cum dripping down all over her thighs, surely staining her pants, “I can feel your pussy gripping my fingers.” Another pause, chest panting harder. “His words pushed me… pushed me a little closer to the edge,” she read, feeling her own orgasm trip too. “Ride them, baby. Come on them.” Was the last line she managed to read before the only thing that could come out of her tortured lips were mumbles of begs and chants of his name. “Please, please, I need to come.”

“Do it, grind your hips against me,” he said, looking at her with a sadist smirk on his face, surprised she managed to read so much.

And finally, she came. Hard and overwhelming waves of pleasure rushed through her body. The book slipped out of her fingers, falling on the floor, while the other hand held tight around Johnny’s wrist that was still moving against her to ground herself somewhere, to make the pleasure seem more bearable.

“Need you,” she said desperately. “Need you so much,” she repeated, not even caring to come down from the high, not caring about giving her legs some time to recover and stop trembling.

“Are you sure you don’t want to see how it ends?”

“I don’t care, I want to see how this ends,” she replied, hands grabbing the hem of his shirt to get him out of that, revealing his toned abs, running fingers on his burning skin, somehow feeling like it still wasn’t enough.

“Then what do you want? Want to feel me?”

“Yes,” she replied, kissing him, rough and real. “Want you to fuck me, want you to show me how badly you want me, you crave me, you need me.”

This felt so crude as Johnny lifted her from the couch, holding her in his arms, letting his pants fall on the floor, and his boxer follow soon after, before sitting down again.

“Take your clothes off for me,” he ordered and it took her nothing to obey, discarding her shirt and her pants to the ground. “Those too if you don’t want me to rip them. Well, they’re so soaked you might want to throw them away anyway.”

“Rip them,” she whispered against his lips. “They’re old anyway. If you really want me, rip them.”

And Johnny didn’t hesitate, hooking his fingers in the band, he pulled it apart, tearing the fabric in two and then throwing it on the couch next to them.

“Have I proved it enough how terribly I need you? How crazy you get me?”

“Not until you fuck me,” she replied, hips grinding against him. “Not until you’ll own me.”

A low grunt rolled out of his lips as his brain shortcut, he wasn’t even able to explain the effect her words were having on him. How fucking much he loved it when she turned this desperate, this real, honest, and raw. He couldn’t explain how badly he wanted to drag more of those primal thoughts out of her mind as he fucked her deeper into her devotion to him.

And so he acted, he lifted her by the waist before letting her fall back on his dick. Thrust hard and needy. Strong enough to make her throw her head back and dig her nails onto the skin of his shoulders, deep enough to make it redden.

“You always feel so fucking good,” he breathed out through gritted teeth. His big hands wrapped around her waist, pushing her up and down with slow but strong moves, making her feel everything and everywhere, the veins of his cock rubbing against her walls, his tip pushing right into her sensitive spot, resonating so much in her body, waves of pleasure running over her. “Every goddamn time,” he mumbled. “It’s never enough, I’ll never get enough of this,” he whispered, back raising from the couch to get closer to her and kiss her, wet and hungry. “Never get tired of you.”

She kissed him back, brain not able to process any other word to say to him, but the way her body was rocking back into him, and the way her hands were marking his skin, were enough to let him know everything he needed to know. She was an open book, a book he had read every page hundreds of times to have it impressed in the back of his brain to read her even if she didn’t let out her words.

“Big,” the sound came out of her lips weary, barely audible, as he took her breath away with every thrust and she couldn’t understand how he fit so well and yet tore her open every time, never understanding how she was so used to this and yet she was not, once again feeling like she was so close to the edge.

And Johnny only grinned at her word, and the way her face full of bliss was showing how much she was enjoying this. Knowing that if only it was possible she would’ve wanted him deeper, harder. Always needing more, always craving contact, the feral one. She needed to feel them, to be reminded after days that they had been there, on her skin, in her brain.

“More,” and here it was, a plead, voice louder and open eyes looking at him. “Please, fuck me faster,” she breathed out, pulling him closer by the neck, lips meeting again while he complied, hips moving faster against her, the sound of their skin slapping together obscenely, their juices squelching even more, but they couldn’t care. They couldn’t even care that the other three could be hearing them, or could come downstairs anytime and see them. It wasn’t a new sight anyway.

“Yes, fuck, so good,” she cried out, dragging her nails against his neck, making him moan lowly.

Yes, it was good, but it wasn’t enough. And with a swift movement, he flipped her over, back against the seats and legs pushed against her chest, resting over his shoulders.

She rolled her eyes back, mouth open, letting out the sweetest sounds and she could feel almost burst at the new position and the way he was trapping her body.

She was never going to get tired of this, his broad chest caging her, trapping her underneath him. At his mercy. And yet, he was devoted to her, always putting her first, always giving her exactly what she wanted, how she wanted, and when she wanted. Commanding and considerate, strong and caring. Just so fucking perfect she knew one day he was going to make her lose her mind.

“You like this better, don’t you?” He asked still sending calculated strokes into her, pushing her body forward with each of them. “You can feel it more. You can feel it so deep under your skin. I know you want to come apart, don’t you, baby?”

Jade nodded, head moving swiftly while from her lips forcedly came out promises on how she was going to take everything that he was going to give her; one, two, five other orgasms until she was nothing but a mess in his arms.

And Johnny knew it. He knew she would’ve taken everything from him, trusted him till the end of the world. And he gave her what she wanted, another orgasm, even stronger than the one before, forcing himself to don’t come yet, no matter how much her pussy was squeezing him, promising himself to give her another one, to edge himself for her, to give her more. That more that she wanted so bad.

So he didn’t stop, not even for a split second, riding her orgasm until it died down just to pick up again, and make her go slack against him.

And when one of his hands slipped between them and started moving on her clit she screamed, a moan loud and clear that surely resonated in the whole house.

“You’re so loud,” he whispered next to her hear. “You never care about other people as long as you can take. So selfish. What if you woke Jaehyun up? What if your screams are interrupting Tae and Yuta?” He asked just to tease her, he honestly couldn’t care less, it wasn’t like someone in that house cared about that anyway. And he loved her sounds, he lived for those pretty sounds. She usually wasn’t a screamer, but a whimper, a squirmer, a beggar, so, so, vulnerable in his hands, and it was thrilling to see her lose it and let out high pitched moans sometimes, sounds that were so atypical of her that came from the deepest depths of her brain, parts she tried to conceal.

“Do you want them to hear how good you feel right now? How your little reading session turned into you looking like a mess under me?”

She shook her head but was too far gone to even understand what she wanted. Not that she minded if they heard. It had always been exciting for her to know that somebody could be watching, or hearing. She loved the idea of one of them desperately wrapping a hand around their cock as they only listened to her get fucked by somebody else, wishing their hand was her pussy instead, milking them dry. The idea of them being desperate for her got her so hot.

“I know you love it when they hear you, I know you love it when we get jealous of you even if we all have you,” he whispered. “Look at that smirk, you fucking tease,” he groaned but still had no intention to do anything until his eyes fell on the ripped panties that were laying a little bit further from her head and a thought crossed his mind. So he moved a hand forward, grabbed them and then crumbled them into a ball. And she was caught by surprise when his other hand grabbed her jaw, squeezing it hard enough to make her mouth fall open before pushing the ripped fabric into her mouth. “That’s better,” he whispered, caressing her cheek, making sure she was getting used to the restriction well, and smirking when she rolled her head back, moans muffled and breaths huffing.

“Taste yourself, baby,” he whispered, rocking into her faster. “Taste how good you are, how wet you were for me, how desperate.”

She hummed against the gag, tears menacing to roll down the corners of her eyes as the familiar pressure in her stomach formed again.

“Yes, you are,” he hummed, hands lifting up from the couch to grab her ankles and push her legs even closer to her upper body, almost bending her in two. “My needy girl, pretty needy little girl,” he added, licking the hot tears that were streaming down her face.

“Need to come again, don’t you? I can feel it from the way —fuck— you’re squeezing me.”

She couldn’t reply, even if she kept whimpering behind the gag, senseless moans of pleas and more. But her hips rocked back against him. And as much as Johnny loved that sight; wide eyes looking at him, chest panting hard to try to breathe normally, tears stained cheeks and muffled sounds, he loved to hear her beg more. So he pulled out the panties from her mouth, completely drenched with spit too, and threw them on the floor.

Jade coughed and spluttered, finally able to breathe normally again and let him know what she wanted.

“Need to come, please.”

“Again? What if I pulled out right now and fucked your pretty mouth and left you like this?” He taunted, voice struggling to come out as he could feel his orgasm too. “You already came twice.”

But if he knew how to tease her, she knew how to play her little games too, no matter how fucked up she was, how far into subspace they would push her.

“Need you to come in me, need you to fill me up,” she whispered against his ear. “Give me all of your cum. Please.”

A groan ripped past his throat while he threw his head back and pushed her hips further down the pillows under them.

“Fuck,” he stuttered, hips faltering their movements and head spinning fast. “You want it? Want my cum?” She nodded, arms wrapping to push him closer to her, to feel him nearer. “Then —fuck— take it,” he groaned, thrusts stuttering as he emptied himself into her while her walls spasmed hard around him, third orgasm almost knocking her over as she held tight onto him.

“Too much,” she cried when Johnny kept pushing in and out, making sure every drop was into her, body slamming against her sensitive clit, making her shake from overstimulation. “Too much.”

“Yeah, I know,” he whispered, hips stopping, and kissed her lips, softly, gently, while a hand caressed her cheek and he whispered sweet nothings in her ear. “You did so well, baby. So, so good.”

She smiled, feeling wrecked but warm at the same time as he pulled out, slowly, never stopping kissing her, before putting his discarded shirt under her and grabbing the blanket to cover each other. The shower could’ve waited, just for some minutes, the right time to get themselves together again, lulling their tired bodies in the warmth of each other.

“That was so intense,” she whispered, turning to the side to snuggle into his chest, Johnny’s arms wrapping around her, pushing her closer, while he made sure the blanket was covering her shoulders.

“Yeah, you can get pretty wild when you want to,” he joked, brushing some hair out of her face, and kissing her forehead. “My wild girl, quite far from the innocent Jade I thought you were.”

She giggled, shrugging. “What do they say? It’s always the quiet one.”

“Yeah, the ones you always see carrying books with them, and then those are the books,” he replied with a chuckle, still quite shocked she was reading straight-up porn.

“Mhh, but it was hot,” she said, kissing him, and he hummed against her lips.

“I agree. We should read together more often.”

“You slept all day, are you okay?” Jade asked after knocking on Jaehyun’s door and receiving a feeble answer to come in.

He was laying in his bed, fully covered and still shivering, while he shook his head slowly, already feeling it spin with the smallest movement.

She sighed, and walked to the bed, sitting next to him before placing her hand on his forehead. “You’re burning.”

“I know,” he replied. “I thought it was going to pass just with sleep, and I had no strength to call somebody.”

“Let me go grab the medicine. Stay there, I’ll come back,” she said, before rushing outside to go to the bathroom where they kept all their medicine.

“I can take care of it by myself,” he complained when she came back with water, pills, and a wet cloth, “when I’ll be able to stand on my feet.”

She huffed loudly and then placed the cloth on top of the drawer. “But you can’t, and if you don’t take something right now, you’re going to pass out. It’s really high.”

Jaehyun struggled to sit up, but eventually did it, just enough to swallow the pill and then lay back against the bed. “How do you even know? Every time I would go to my mom saying I was warm she told me I wasn’t.”

Jade chuckled, “It’s the experience, my little brother was a master at pretending to be sick to don’t go to school, I had to learn,” she explained as she gently placed the cold cloth on his forehead after brushing his hair back.

“It’s cold,” he whined, pulling the cover closer to his body.

“It will help the fever go down, peach,” she said, tucking him better, so he was completely covered. “And then when you’ll feel better, you’ll take a cold shower.”

“I don’t want to,” he complained again, pouting at her. She smiled at him and then shook her head. “You really act like a child sometimes.”

“I’m tired, I can feel my bones ache, not even while I was growing up it hurt that much,” he huffed, voice hoarse and eyes so watery he almost saw her in a blur.

“Do you think it’s stress or the cold?” She asked. It was true that things were going better, he had been called again to do some things, but it wasn’t like before, not yet at least. And even if he was free now, he was extremely paranoid somebody was spying on them. There was nothing more to let out, true, but it was the feeling of unease, knowing anybody could betray him.

It was almost as if the aftermath had hit him later compared to them. Or probably it was because he was the one that was struggling the most to go back on track.

“Both, I guess. I don’t bring money at home anymore, basically,” he whispered. That’s why he spent most of the time at Johnny’s studio, at least there he could help him, and he felt useful.

“You’ve got some jobs, though. I know it’s going to get better.”

“Prada didn’t call me for the fashion week, how is it going to get better?” He knew that wasn’t everything but the fashion week was his dream, the time of the year he enjoyed the most. He was so happy when the opportunity showed up and now he felt like they were just biding time to drop him completely.

“But you’re still the face of the brand, just relax. If they wanted to drop you, they would’ve done that. Maybe they just thought you weren’t ready to get such a big exposure.”

Jaehyun shrugged, groaning as he felt a sharp pain in his shoulder, and then sighed loudly. “Whatever.”

“You know people don’t care anymore, right?” She reminded him, caressing his arm through the covers.

“I know but… I’m still here, trying to get more jobs and I only have minor projects. It’s like back when we were in college, and it sucks.” He knew he probably had nothing to worry about, it was just going to go back to his place. Goddamn, in the industry, there were still abusers and people worse than him with a job, he couldn’t lose everything because he loved more than one person, right? But he felt so tired he didn’t even want to try. He was starting to feel like he was losing the passion he had for that job.

“I’m sure it will get better, peach,” she reassured him. “And if you don’t want to do something minor you can always say no. Show them you’re worth more than that.” Money truly wasn’t a problem anymore. Johnny’s studio was doing amazing, and he had been called to shoot countless fashion editorials. Taeyong’s job paid him a lot, much more than he ever had in his life. She had so many projects she had to turn some offers down because she wouldn’t have time to do them. And Yuta’s new agency paid him more than the last one.

Jaehyun nodded mindlessly. He had never thought about it. If he wasn’t going to start valuing himself again and be proud of himself, people were always going to consider him a cheater who didn’t deserve what he had worked so hard for.

“You never posted us on Instagram,” she said, laying next to him, gently caressing his red cheeks.

“No, I didn’t,” he replied. “I’m sorry but I don’t know what to say.”

“Write a cheesy ass caption,” she suggested.

“Like the ones in the books you read?”

“Hey, they’re not cheesy,” she joked, dying of embarrassment as she thought about what had happened before. “But, maybe, a lyrics of a song. That’s the best option.”

“But… what if it worsens the situation? I don’t want people to start attacking you again.”

“Well, our personal accounts are private, they can’t do anything anymore. And honestly, let them talk. I don’t care about what a stranger has to say about us, not anymore.”

“Then can you help me pick a lyric?”

She nodded, smiling fondly at him. “Later, now you have to sleep,” she answered, sitting up again and fixing the bedsheets. “Is paracetamol starting to work?”

“I guess, don’t feel a change.”

“I’ll let you sleep. But then I’ll call you for dinner, so you can put something in your stomach. I already shouldn’t have let you take it with an empty stomach.”

Jaehyun beamed at her and then sent her a flying kiss that she playfully grabbed before closing the door behind her.

“Oh, you’re here,” Jade exclaimed as soon as she entered the kitchen, finding Yuta with his head buried in the fridge, looking for something.

“Oh, yeah,” he mumbled, straightening his back and scratching his neck. “I was hungry.”

“Are you done with Tae?”

“Yeah, I was just helping him with the fish,” he explained, closing the fridge and sitting on the chair with a snack in hand.

“He let you close to the fish tank?” She asked, honestly surprised.

“Yeah, why?”

“Nothing, he’s just very protective over them. Since I almost killed them because I set the temperature wrong, he doesn’t let me close to them.”

“Oh, well, you killed his pets.”

“I almost did it,” she corrected him. “And I didn’t do it on purpose, it was an honest mistake. They’re all so cute, why would I hurt them?”

Yuta chuckled. “So, you can finally have a cat?”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, trust me, we’re getting a cat whether they want it or not. The fish are just in his room, we can keep it locked and nothing will happen.”

“Why don’t we adopt a dog, too?”

“A dog?” She questioned, lifting a brow.

“You don’t like them?”

“Oh, no, I just prefer cats,” she replied, grabbing the big pot and placing it on the stoves. “But we could adopt one. I like golden retrievers.”

“God, you’re starting with the big ones,” he said, tone lightened up by a giggle. “You know no grey zones.”

“I just really like them. But it’s going to be harder to make cat and dog get along, don’t you think so?”

“That’s why we could opt for a smaller one. I had a little dog back at home, I mean, I still have her, Rapunzel. Want to see a pic?”

She nodded and then turned around, waiting for him to show the photos. “Oh my god, she’s so cute!” She screamed as he scrolled through the pictures. “And you were so young back then,” she added, smiling affectionately at the cute images of him holding her in his arms and noting how nothing of his teenager’s face was left on him, he was a man now, a beautifully grown man.

“Yeah, it has been a while since I got back, I miss her.”

“I’d love to go to Japan, maybe we should go there for the next holiday,” she proposed, smiling at him. “As friends, yours don’t have to know,” she added, sensing his hesitation.

He hummed under his breath, stuffing his phone back into the back pocket of his pants. “Well, I was actually thinking about letting them know. I don’t know, I don’t really like keeping you a secret.”

“You don’t have to, you know?”

“I know. I want to.”

She smiled at him and then turned around again. “Want to help me?”

“Doing what?”

“Prepare the soup for Jae.”

Yuta nodded, walking to stand by her side, and then asked, “why?”

“He’s sick, probably caught something but also because he stresses himself so much. He got back being a nerve wreck since we came back, I just… I just want him to realize that he’s enough and everything he does is enough. He can’t buy us the stars, but he can’t get it in his head.”

“Is it for everything that happened? Or is there something more?”

“For everything that happened. At least, I hope it’s only that,” she said, pulling out of the fridge all the vegetables she needed and the meat.

“You’ve known each other for long,” he said, almost whispering. “How did you… how do you know if you love more than one person?” He had been going around asking that question to Taeyong and Johnny too, had no courage to ask that to Jaehyun, but somehow found it to ask it to her. After all, from what they had told him, she was the reason why they were all in this.

“Oh,” she giggled awkwardly. “I don’t know. I mean, if it’s your first time you feel like shit, especially if you’re not in a poly relationship. That’s what I felt with Johnny. I went around with this weight of guilt on my back, and I couldn’t tell love and attraction apart. It’s like you know that what you feel is love but you’ve been so used to believing that your heart is supposed to beat just for one person that you don’t want to acknowledge it,” she explained while she peeled the carrots and put them in a bowl, giving them to Yuta so he could cut them.

“So, what if you opened your eyes and know that you can love somebody else and still don’t know what you feel?”

“Oh, well. I don’t think that’s a problem that has something to do with loving more than one person. Isn’t it just being in denial with that specific person?”

“What if it’s not denial? What if you’re afraid? You never felt afraid while you were dating them? Feeling that adding another one was… was, I don’t know, going to make it all fall apart?”

She furrowed, stilling her hands, and staring at him, studying his focused expression, so lost, almost as if he was trying to find a getaway from there in those carrots. “Are you in love with somebody else?”

Yuta almost choked on nothing and then replied with a shaky voice, “no, why would I?”

She shrugged and then asked, “then why are you asking?”

“I just,” he mumbled, trying to come up with an excuse. “I just wanted to know what you felt when somebody got in. I don’t know, was I the only one who rocked the boat like this?”

“Well, the only one who got added was Taeyong and he rocked the boat in a different way. I wasn’t afraid it was going to break, I was terrified of losing him. That was the only thing that occupied my mind when we were together.”

Yuta hummed, lowly. Taeyong had never opened up with him. He had told him something, but he had been super vague about it. And it was fine like this, really. But he still wondered how hard it had been for him to get better and fit in this. He was more than content in this relationship, but at times, it still felt tight on him, and probably it wasn’t the relationship that felt tight, but the feelings that Yuta was now sure had arisen for somebody else.

“And then? What made it all work out?”

She hesitated for a moment, she surely couldn’t say that with Taeyong things flowed easily, but at the same time, they went well enough to don’t make him run away scared like a child. “Love? I don’t know. It took him ages to confess to me.”

“He fell for you first?”

“Yep, I think that’s why he’s so close to me. I know he loves them a lot too, but let’s say I was his safe place when he couldn’t trust anybody. We were really shattered back then, and we gave each other strength.”

He hummed and then filled the pot with water, and placed the cut carrots to the side, waiting for her to start peeling the potatoes. He couldn’t help but stare at her and all the love she radiated while cooking. But not only now. In these past months of living together, he was able to see her in a totally different light, and he couldn’t help but long for that feeling of comfort she gave him. He longed for her. More than he wanted to. He dreamed of her. Because having her like this wasn’t enough.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” She asked, head still turned toward the cut board, but she could see him staring from her peripheral view. And the way his eyes were practically boring holes in her skin made her heart jump up in her throat, pathetically beating in excitement, yearning for him.

He shook his head and coughed. “Nothing. You really love him a lot.”

“Who?”

“All of them, of course. But it’s nice to see you cook for Jae with so much love,” he said, hoping she would get caught in that half-lie and don’t sense that he was, in fact, jealous of the way that love wasn’t for him. And she did, smiling softly, her usual warm smile that made her eyes curl up and her nose twitch for a brief second. The damned smile that made his heart bleed and bloom at the same time.

“I used to prepare this soup for my siblings when they were sick. They hated vegetables so I had to come up with something that was tasty and nutritional at the same time. You have no idea of the times I had to run to the supermarket because I didn’t have the vegetables they liked the most. And then, of course, put a lot of seasoning.”

“Do you miss them?”

She stopped cutting for a second and lifted her head. She mostly put the thought of them in the back of her mind, reminding herself that they weren’t her responsibility and that she had done more than enough in the past to protect them. “Yeah, a lot. I just hope they’re doing fine even without me. But I don’t like to talk about that, sorry.”

“Oh, no. Excuse me if I pushed the wrong buttons, I didn’t mean to.”

“No, it’s fine. I talked about them first. By the way, grab the tomato sauce and put it on the stove, and then put basil in it.”

“You’re not boiling them in water?”

“Nope, they wanted something more satisfying so it’s like a tomato soup but with more vegetables and some meat,” she explained. “Can you cut a quarter of onion? Just to give it a taste. I don’t want it to be too strong.”

“Sure, let me open the can, and then I’ll do it.”

Yuta opened the cabinet where they kept canned food and then poured it in the pot. “Can I ask you something?” She nodded, still working on her tasks. “Do you ever regret this? Do you ever think about what your life would’ve been if it was only you and Jaehyun?”

“Like shit,” she replied straight away with no hesitation. “No, okay, that sounds bad to him,” she added. “But I don’t think about it. What we had was great, and I have a strong conviction that even if we stayed two, we weren’t going to end up like my parents, but it was meant to be like this. I think that being so many of us kind of helps. It’s hard to ignore each other, or our feelings when the mood shifts so easily if something is wrong. You can’t pretend. We have to face what’s wrong if we don’t want to screw all up.”

“And you think that if it was only two…?”

“No, we were making it work, but I know my life wouldn’t be complete without all of you. I’ve never felt so much love in my life and I know we deserve every single bit of it.”

“Me included?”

“Yes, silly. I care a lot about you,” she said, trying to calm her heart from beating so fast.

“Oh,” he simply whimpered, pushing the onion in the sauce to don’t think too much about what she had said. “Have you ever had a pet?”

She chuckled, “Going back to the first topic? Too afraid of feeling talks?”

He gulped. “Well, you don’t answer my questions.”

“I did, but I don’t understand what kind of answer you want me to give you,” she said, placing the knife down and turning to him. “Are you afraid of feeling something? You can talk to me if there’s somebody else in your heart, even if it’s outside of this relationship. You’re not tied to us, you know that, right?”

He gulped, struggling to hold the contact with her caring eyes. “I know. But… what if, what if I never expected it? What if I didn’t want it to happen?”

“You never want love to happen, well, most of the time,” she answered. “So, who is this person?” She asked, trying to push the knot out of her throat.

“I don’t know if I love her… but I know I feel good with her. But I don’t know if she loves me or likes me back.”

“Oh,” Jade blubbered, grabbing the spoon to turn the food in the pot, hoping the shakiness of her voice wasn’t going to show. “Well, tell her. I’m sure you have no problems confessing.”

“I can’t. It’s hard and it had never been this hard, not even admitting to myself I liked Jaehyun, not even convincing myself it was worth it to try this.”

She chuckled. “Why don’t you try to test the waters? I don’t know, start a conversation with her that can make you understand if she’s into you.”

“I do, but I don’t know if she’s into me as a friend or more. I don’t know if there’s more space in her heart.”

“More space?” She asked, confused. “Is she in a polyamorous relationship, too?”

“God, it’s you! You’re so fucking dumb, I can’t believe it.” Before Yuta could reply to her, Taeyong barged into the kitchen screaming those words, making Yuta’s face heat up and her heart skip a beat. “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t do it, but I can’t stand it anymore seeing you two pining for each other and then acting as if there’s nothing. Come on, now do what you have to do.”

“For how long have you been listening?” Jade asked, eyes still wide in shock.

Taeyong shrugged. “Long enough to know you two are dumb,” he replied, sitting down on a chair and staring at them as if nothing happened.

“Do you have to stay here, now?” She asked, voice strangled in a high tone and eyes moving frenetically to signal him to leave.

“Well, you just have to kiss, can I watch?”

“We don’t, we… God,” she exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. “Take care of the food,” she ordered and then grabbed Yuta’s hand and dragged him out of the kitchen to go up to her room.

When the door closed behind them, she sighed and then said, “is it true?”

Yuta opened his mouth, letting out no sounds, and then whispered, “…yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I thought I was going crazy over you while you only saw me as a friend, God.”

“I thought the same…” he confessed. “I’m not usually like this when it comes to love but you just made me so insecure, I thought I wasn’t enough to make you fall. I also didn’t think you could fall for somebody else.”

“But why?”

“Because… you don’t have any idea how strong your love for the others looks like from the outside. Your love is just so stable, and I don’t know if I deserve it.”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

“Because with the others you’ve been through so much. The way you grew up with Jaehyun. The way Johnny was the first one to make your walls fall. The way Taeyong is your safe place. And what about us? What have we been through?”

“Oh, but love isn’t strong just because you’ve been through something. Also, how can you think we haven’t been through something? What about all that happened?”

“Yeah, but that was for all of us, mostly all of you,” he reminded her. He wasn’t that mad anymore, but they didn’t exactly go through the scandal together. And even if they did, he still wasn’t into their relationship like he was now.

“Okay, you’re right, but how is it a bad thing? Isn’t it nice that we can just be with each other without dealing with other problems and fears?”

“But what if this is wrong? Like, what if… what if I’m not made for this?”

“We can try and see how it goes.”

“And what if it doesn’t work and we make it awkward for everybody?”

“Oh my, since when you’re so negative?”

“I’m just trying to be objective. I’ve already risked screwing you over once, I don’t want to do it twice.”

“I’m sure it won’t happen. There’s no way you won’t fall even deeper for me,” she joked, winking at him with a playful smirk on her face. “But seriously, we can create our story little by little, no need to rush it or worry about stupid stuff. I believe in us.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“I am. Can we kiss now?”

He nodded and then leaned closer and finally their lips met. It felt like never before. It wasn’t like the lewd kisses that escaped while they had sex the other times. This was real. This long, sweet, kiss, held so much love inside that warmed them up. And maybe Yuta was right, their love still wasn’t so strong, but it was there. And she knew that she was going to take care of that little flame to make it grow big and become like the others.

“I really like you Yuta,” she whispered when they pulled apart.

Yuta smiled. “I really like you, too, Jade.” And then leaned in again, wrapping an arm around the small of her back to pull her closer. “And now it’s better if we go back downstairs if you still want your soup to be yours and not whatever Taeyong is doing.”

She chuckled and then said, “right, we also have to thank him, I guess.”

“So what do you have to say?” Taeyong said as soon as they entered the kitchen again.

“Thank you,” she sang, rolling her eyes and walking closer to him to leave a peck on his cheek.

“Oh Lord, it worked?” He screamed, clapping and jumping on the spot. “I was starting to lose hope.”

“I thought you were jealous,” she cooed teasingly.

“I’m working on it. Also, it’s better like this, now I don’t have to stay at Johnny’s to leave you alone,” he said before realizing it.

The two gasped loudly and then Jade asked, “you did that on purpose?”

Taeyong laughed awkwardly and lifted his shoulders in defence. “Well, we guessed you needed some time together.”

They both laughed. “You are insane, I can’t stand you.”

“Hey, it was Johnny’s idea.”

“Of course, it was him,” she said. “Come on, help with the food. You did nothing.”

“I stirred the pot and added spices,” he argued, crossing his arms on his chest.

“Wow, we’re halfway done thanks to you,” she joked, rolling her eyes before grabbing the knife again and saying, “add the peas, the carrots, and the potatoes in the pan while I cut the celery and zucchini. Come on, do something.”

“Yes, Miss,” Taeyong replied, immediately following her orders. “Why are we eating this tonight, though?”

“Jay’s not feeling well,” Yuta replied instead.

“So he activated her mama’s instinct.”

“Shut up, I’m just tryna be nice.”

“Um, forgot the meat,” Yuta reminded her, lifting up the bag with sausage mixture.

“Oh, right,” she said, pouring the last vegetables into the pot. “Just take some and smash it inside, not much, though.”

Yuta hummed and then started opening the bag while Taeyong wandered around the place, looking for something to eat.

“So, now you’re officially everybody’s girlfriend?” Taeyong said, giving up since he couldn’t find anything he could just munch without heating it.

“Yeah, seems like at the end I collected all of you,” she laughed lowly, shily looking up at Yuta. Why it still felt so awkward? Or well, perhaps it was just strange that they were dating, or at least on the road to try to see if it was going to work. Thinking that almost a year ago she had thrown up the first time Jaehyun brought him up —he wasn’t going to know that story soon, by the way.

“Are you okay with this?” Yuta asked, turning his head around to look at the older who was sitting on the chair.

“Of course. If it wasn’t for me you would still be here trying to beat it around the bush. You’re embarrassing by the way. The tension between you was up to the roof and you still couldn’t see it.”

Yuta snorted. “Excuse me, you’re the one talking?” He asked, raising a brow and Taeyong gasped offended.

“Who told you?” He almost screamed and then his eyes landed on Jade that was snickering, trying to hide from him. “It was you, of course. As if you couldn’t confess to me first,” he scoffed.

“I was terrified of scaring you,” she justified completely turning around and lowering the heat under the pot before covering it with a lid.

“Yeah, okay. And now? What’s your excuse? Why couldn’t you confess to him?”

Yuta high-fived him from afar and she gasped. “You’re siding with him, now? Since when?”

“Since I want to,” he shrugged, getting up from the chair to reach Yuta and wrap one arm around his shoulders.

She made a sound that can’t be described and threw her head back in exasperation. “I have nobody to back me up. Where’s Johnny when I need him the most?”

“I’m here,” Johnny’s voice ringed in the room as he made his way inside, wiping the tiredness from his eyes by rubbing them with the back of his hands. “And the three of you are always so loud, I’m starting to miss when you couldn’t stand each other.”

“They’re bullying me,” she pouted, running into his arms, completely ignoring his words.

“Are they?” He cooed, cupping her face with a hand and brushing the thumb on her cheek. “Sounds like a big word to me.”

“No, he’s taking his defence,” she complained, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him.

“Yuta?”

“Nope, Taeyong.”

Johnny turned around with an amused expression. “Wow, what’s happening here? Is the aliens’ invasion next?”

Taeyong rolled his eyes. “I just said that she could’ve found some courage and confessed to him instead of waiting for me to do the job.”

“Oh well, you’re kinda right. Wait, what?” He exclaimed, suddenly realizing what he had said. “You finally confronted each other? What did you do?”

Jade huffed and then walked to the stove. It was clear it was a plan against her, she might’ve as well taken care of the soup and let them chat.

“He was clearly talking about her, and she was like ‘oh, and who’s this girl’,” Taeyong mocked her voice.

Johnny laughed and then hugged her from behind, resting his chin on top of her head. “Babe, I love you, but you need your time when it comes to feelings.”

She huffed and then reminded them, “the only time I confessed first was with you and we all know what happened.”

“Okay, fair,” Johnny raised his hands and took a step back. “But it’s official? You’re together?”

Yuta hummed. “Well, we’re trying to see where this takes us.”

“Oh, so it’s not…” Taeyong sounded disappointed.

“No, we are together but we’re working on our feelings. We need to find the right balance between us and see if this can work. I’m still new to this, I thought it wasn’t even possible to fall for more than one person, so we don’t want to rush it.”

“Oh, okay, you scared me for a minute.”

“Why are you so excited about this?”

“Please, it was a terrible time back then and you know why it was so hard for me. But I like Yuta, we get along. He helped with the aquarium, you know?”

“Ah, yes, the one we were supposed to build together and that I ended up doing alone.”

Taeyong rolled his eyes and huffed loudly, waving Johnny off with a movement of hands. “You’re so annoying at times. I’d like to remind you the fish are our kids, and you never take care of them.”

“Of course, you don’t let me close to them.”

“Oh, the tales of divorced parents,” Yuta joked, walking past Taeyong and reaching Jade, not afraid anymore of wrapping an arm around her waist. It was still new, and he had to admit he felt like a teenager at first love, but it felt good.

“I can’t stand them,” Jade whispered, eliciting a laugh from Yuta.

“Have they always been like this?” He asked, turning around, all his attention on her while the other two kept bickering while they started setting the table.

“Yeah, unfortunately for my sanity.”

The older giggled and then brushed her hair behind her shoulder to have a better view of her concentrated face when she tasted the soup. She hummed at the taste and then dipped another spoon before bringing it close to Yuta’s lips to let him taste it. “Careful, it’s hot,” she warned, and his eyes curled in a smile before he blew on it and then had a taste. Her eyes lighted up in anticipation before she asked how it was.

“Delicious,” he praised, and she slightly jumped in happiness on the spot. Yuta chuckled tenderly at the scene, feeling his chest fill with a different kind of warmth.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” She asked while she turned off the gas and moved around to grab a bowl where to transfer the soup.

“Like what?”

“Like that,” she replied, standing up straight and coming face to face with him.

Yuta shrugged with a smile on his face. “I’m happy, yeah, very happy to have you in my life.”

She had to avert the gaze and immediately turned around to do what she had to do. God, why did he make her feel this vulnerable?

“The food’s ready,” she mumbled, placing the bowl in the middle of the table. “I’ll go call, Jae.” After that, she rushed upstairs, trying to compose herself before opening the door of his room.

“Peach,” she called, peeking inside, and walking to the bed, “dinner’s ready.”

Jaehyun mumbled something nonsense while he turned over in the bed, struggling to keep his eyes open.

“Are you feeling better?” She asked in a whisper, gently caressing his hair and taking off his forehead the wet cloth that was by now hot.

He hummed and tried to stretch even if his bones still ached a little. “A little bit,” he replied, voice sleepy and hoarse.

“Come on, I made something good and warm just for you,” she said, reaching for him with her hand to help him stand on his feet.

“I’m not hungry,” he complained while he sat on the bed, already missing the comfort of the bedsheets.

“You have to eat, babe. Not much, just enough so you can take another pill. Then you can come back to sleep, okay?”

As much as his body fought against it, he nodded and let her help him stand up, intertwining their arms together and walking downstairs.

“Hey,” Johnny greeted, keeping his voice low as soon as they stepped into the room. “How are you?”

“Feel like shit,” the younger blubbered, sitting in one of the empty seats while Jade sat next to him and filled his plate. “That’s too much,” he complained seeing the quantity of food.

“You don’t have to eat everything, just try,” she said before filling her bowl.

“Can you fill yours less and give it to me?”

“Yeah, here you go,” she said, stopping from adding more and changing the plates.

“She cooked this with love, so you better say it’s good,” Taeyong said after they started eating and that made Jaehyun smile.

“It is really good,” he praised, looking at his girlfriend that was waiting for his opinion. “Better than the soup my mom used to prepare for me when I was sick.”

She widened her eyes. “Okay, that’s too impossible, stick with the basic compliments.”

“No, it’s true. I like this one better,” he said in all seriousness.

A wide smile painted on her face, and she whispered, “wow, that’s nice.”

“Don’t tell her, though,” he added, laughing lowly before going back to eat.

Dinner passed with more talks and laughs, even if Jaehyun gave up mid-way and went to sleep again. And now there were Yuta and Taeyong on the sofa arguing over what to pick on Netflix while Johnny and Jade finished cleaning up the kitchen.

“Why are you so pensive?” Johnny asked as he stared at Jade that was cleaning the table with a wet wipe.

She sighed and then said, “nothing. I’m happy, it seems like everything found its place, but I’m worried for Jaehyun,” she confessed, pushing a curl behind her ear and then walking to the sink to dry the dishes that Johnny was washing. Finally in their sink with a window that faced the garden.

Johnny hummed. It wasn’t about this apparent flue, it was for the way the model acted since they came back and he was worried too. Jaehyun basically spent all the time at his studio helping him with something because he felt useless staying at home. He wasn’t used to doing nothing, especially if that meant not bringing enough money at home. But this time it didn’t depend on him.

“I don’t know how to help him. I don’t know how to make him understand that he is enough. Like, all the money we had saved came from his job, and it’s thanks to it we were able to afford this place. But he doesn’t see it.”

“I know, I feel it too. I see the way he’s basically overtaking my assistant because he needs to do something, maybe I can talk to him and convince him to stay at home? With you and Yuta.”

Another sigh left her lips as her head tilted to the side and rested against Johnny’s shoulder. “And that’s going to change something?”

“He could help you two with the house, or you can work on some projects with him by your side. Waking up every day to go to a workplace that is not his won’t help him.” Sure, he had been called for some projects but none of the big brands he had worked with in the past called him again so he wasn’t as busy as he was before. And Jaehyun had told him that he was afraid nobody of the big brands was going to call him again. To Johnny it all felt absurd, he even wanted to try to pull some strings to give him just a little push, but then he remembered all the rumours that already flew about their relationship and he didn’t. Jokes about owing his career to him were the last thing Jaehyun needed.

“And then?”

“Then we can only pray Prada will call him for the fashion week of February.”

Yuta sighed heavily, taking off his glasses, placing them on the kitchen table between the mess of the papers he was trying to translate —eyeing the clock he noted he still had fifteen minutes to go and then he was free— if only it wasn’t that —a certain somebody— was making it hard for him to stay concentrated.

Jade had spent most of the morning in her room working, luckily for him, considering she was making it a living hell for him since she had stopped being busy and couldn’t find something to keep herself occupied.

And Yuta couldn’t understand why she simply couldn’t go to Jaehyun, he was surely free, with nothing to do more than let boredom overwhelm him. At the end, Johnny convinced him to stay at home and spend time with them when Yuta didn’t have to go to his agency and with Taeyong when he was done with the school shifts. And he was feeling a little bit better. He had started to try once again for the biggest brands and some opportunities didn’t seem so far away, so he was hoping for the best.

But, no, she had to tease him. Walking back and forth around the house, only wearing one of his sweaters and knee-high white socks, and probably it wouldn’t have had such an effect on him if she didn’t do anything to make the top rise just enough to let him have a glimpse of her ass.

“Can you —Lord— can you please stop?” He snapped when she passed once again in front of him and raised on her tiptoes to grab a glass from the cupboard, ass in full view once again.

“What?” She asked with a furrow, turning around to stare at him.

He huffed, “doing this.”

“If I distract you so much you can go to your room,” she replied, shrugging, and then walked to the fridge to pull out the bottle of water.

Yuta scratched his temple before shaking his head and deciding to go back to his job. He could’ve avoided her for ten minutes, right?

But Jade had other plans, and once she filled the glass, she sat next to him, and even if he kept his gaze on the pc and the papers, he could feel her staring at him.

“Are you not attracted to me?” She asked after five minutes of silence — and her hand rubbing against his thigh under the table.

“What?” Yuta choked out, eyes snapping up at her.

“Since we officially got together you don’t look at me anymore.”

“I… what are you saying?” He asked, deciding he was done working for the day, saving the file that was almost done and sending it to his boss so she could check it, before closing the laptop.

“I don’t know, I feel like you wanted me more before than now,” she confessed, biting her lower lip nervously.

“Just because we still didn’t do it?”

“Also. I mean, I don’t want to force you into anything but I feel like you don’t want to do it and I don’t understand since we basically started from that, you know,” she said, getting up from the chair, feeling panic creep in her bones, not really sure she had made her point clear. “You literally fucked me against a wall with no hesitation when we weren’t together and now you,” she stopped, shaking her head, struggling to find the right words. “You don’t look at me, not like that. Yesterday I changed in front of you, I was wrapped in lace and you looked away.”

“I didn’t do it not because I don’t want you,” Yuta said, getting up and walking toward her. “I just don’t think I’ll be able to stop once I give into you.”

“Then don’t,” she replied, “don’t stop.”

But he shook his head.

“Did you make some kind of chastity vows or what?”

“I don’t know if I… if I can be at their level. What if I let you down?”

At his words she burst out laughing. “Are you kidding?” She asked, but when no smile formed on his face she shook her head in shock. “You are serious. You truly believe you’d let me down.”

“I don’t know you like they do.”

“But why weren’t you scared of this when we did it before?”

“Because it was different. It was just sex, and, not to brag, I know I’m good at it, but… one thing is eating you out twice and then fuck you with three other people and another is being with you. This is affection, it’s more.”

“And you don’t know how to do that?”

“I don’t know if I can give you what you want, what the others give you.”

“But I don’t want what the others give me, I want what you give me. You are a fundamental part of my heart; you don’t compare to them, and they don’t compare to you. I need all of you equally.”

He knew that; deep down he was fully aware of that. But that didn’t stop doubts from raising in his heart. He had watched them longer than he admitted, and he wasn’t sure he could fit. How was it possible for her to feel the same as she did with the others if he came later? How could she want him just the same?

His trail of thoughts got stopped by her lips crashing into his, his thoughts so loud that she could almost hear them and she didn’t like them. So if she couldn’t put it in his brain with words, she was going to show him.

“Discover me,” she whispered against his lips. “It’s true, you don’t know me like them but find it out. I’m here, open right in front of you. I let you in and I don’t plan on making you walk out so, discover me. Find every single detail of me and get deep into my skin. Isn’t this what we promised each other? Wasn’t all of this about walking together?”

He nodded, humming lowly, before he leaned in again, one hand caressing her nape to push her closer and the other around her waist to push her flat against him.

“You really were going to ignore me and take care of this alone?” She joked, thigh rubbing against his boner, the one he had since all afternoon, pretty much.

“I was planning on doing that,” he said, chuckling. “I mean, probably I would’ve failed this time at trying to resist you.”

She smiled, kissing him again. “Good,” she whispered, “because you don’t have to resist me anymore.” Her hands found his and she slowly traced them over her body. “I’m here, have me.”

And he didn’t let her repeat it again, Yuta’s hands slipped under her ass and he lifted her up, walking to her bedroom. He surely wasn’t going to have their real first time in the kitchen.

Clothes came off swiftly once in the bedroom, hands too greedy to take it slow, and soon after they were laying on the bed, his body on top of her, kissing each other with passion and grinding their hips together as if they were starved from touch.

“Want to taste you again,” he said, lips running all over her body, making her squirm already under his touch. But his next move caught her unprepared, in fact, when he turned around and laid against the mattress, she furrowed.

“What are you doing?”

“Isn’t it clear?” He asked, sly smirk on his face. “Sit on my face, babe. Come on.”

She stuttered, stuck in her half-sitting position, “n-no, I will crush you.” But Yuta only rolled his eyes at her words.

“You won’t,” he said, sitting up to drag her —not so delicately— on top of him, her legs now standing at the sides of his neck. “And even if you did, I’d love to be crushed by you,” he winked, making her cover her face from embarrassment, but she still wouldn’t lower herself on him, body tense, trying to stay up.

“I’ve never… done that,” she whispered. Honestly, she was terrified of breaking their neck or suffocating them and, even if the idea turned her on so much, she never even dared to bring it up, probably only once with Taeyong to tease him, but never thinking of actually doing it.

“Glad to be your first time,” he simply replied before his hands wrapped around the soft flesh of her thighs and pulled her down with strength.

“Yuta, no —” she screamed but as soon as his tongue lapped against her wet cunt, she let out a shaky breath and looked down at him that was staring up at her with a proud expression —well, what she could see of it.

“Fuck, ‘s good,” she whimpered, lolling her head back and gripping the headboard extra hard because, fuck, Yuta was good. And it wasn’t new information but the way he was eating her out now still didn’t come close to all the times before. It was so dedicated, tongue lapping at her wet pussy as if his life depended on it, strong hands pressing her even closer to him, not caring he could barely breathe, and he was moaning against her, literally making her lose her mind. And when she looked down his eyes were closed, completely concentrated on her, humming against her and then circling over her clit before sucking hard.

And it felt so good that she started grinding against him.

Finally, he thought, happy she was loosening up and was pressing back onto him, fucking herself on his tongue.

“Good girl,” he praised, voice muffled by her body and that made her stare at him as she kept moving. “You taste so good.”

She whimpered, feeling already so close, but when Yuta’s tongue moved further and started to also give attention to her ass, she lifted her hips. She tried to say something, but he stopped her immediately.

“Don’t you dare get away from me,” he ordered, nails digging into the skin of her legs, leaving marks behind, as he pushed her down once again.

She gulped, still feeling unsure but when his movements picked up again, not leaving a single portion of her most sensitive parts uncovered, she couldn’t help but give in.

“Close,” she mumbled, hands leaving the board in front of her to clasp his hair, pulling hard enough to make him groan against her, sending more shivers down her spine. “Shit,” she breathed out when his hands moved to cup her perky ass and pulled her more apart, giving him more room to give her pleasure. Jade tossed her head back, grip on his hair loosening up, and orgasm hitting her hard.

Her thighs clasped hard around his face, tongue and lips still moving to ride her pleasure, but she didn’t even notice, bliss too strong to care that she was almost choking him, but he didn’t care either, he loved it. Loved feeling her strong thighs press hard around him and her hips grind against him while her juices dripped down, making a mess on his face.

“Fuck, sorry,” she managed to let out when a bit of the haze passed and she immediately stood up. “Are you okay?”

“Never felt better,” Yuta replied, a happy smile on his cum stained face, and then he sat up, fingers collecting her smeared wetness and then sucking on it. And even if she didn’t say a word, from the way she was looking at him, it was clear she found that extremely hot. “Also, never, ever say sorry for smashing my head between your thighs,” he reminded her, kissing hers slowly before letting go, “it might be my favourite place in the world.”

She felt her face heat up but Yuta kissed it away, over and over, until she was once again lying on the bed and he was hovering over her. And they kept going on like this for a while, just kissing each other while their hands ran on their skin, marking and biting, leaving signs, leaving a proof that what they had was just as real and strong.

“Take me,” she whimpered, nails digging in his hair, eyes staring straight into his, all her honesty there. “Take all of me.”

“All of you,” he whispered, leaning down, forehead pressing against hers before he pushed himself into her, slowly, savouring every inch, taking his sweet time to bottom in and stay there, just for a while, staring at her head thrown back and her rising chest. Taking time to imprint in his mind that she was real, not a dream, not an illusion, not his boyfriend’s girlfriend he wanted so bad. She was also his. She wanted him and cherished him and it was there, written in the way her eyes pleaded for more and from her lips begs rolled out like chants.

And he had to give her what she wanted, what she was craving so much. Yuta just wanted to prove all the emotions he felt for her. How he burned in her, for her. And so he did, grabbing her ankles gently to guide her to wrap her legs around his waist while he thrust into her, nice and slow, no need to rush, no need to prove anything to anybody, but just feel alive in each other’s embrace.

“God,” he moaned, lips brushing against the skin of her neck. “I wanted this for so long. Wanted you,” he whispered, starting to pick up a faster pace, but not too much because he wanted this to last. “Wanted you to be all mine.”

“I am,” she whimpered, fingers slipping in his hair, tangling around it, to bring him closer to her. Somehow that wasn’t enough, they needed to make up for everything that they had lost. “Yours. Always. Forever,” she added, voice getting shakier with every stroke of his hips, the slower-paced rhythm making her lose her mind.

Yuta smiled against her skin and then one of his hands moved to rub her clit, the touch causing her head to roll back while she bit her lower lip.

“Yeah, baby,” he cooed. “You like that? You’re so sensitive there, aren’t you?”

She nodded, nails running down his back, surely leaving marks, adding to the ones she had left before.

“Is good,” she replied, trying to don’t slip past a level of total unconsciousness but it felt just so good to be in his arm and be able to trust him so much, already doing everything she liked.

“And you also like this, don’t you?” He whispered, mouth closing around her nipples, making her arch her back.

“Yes, yeah,” she mumbled, feeling the warmth spread in her stomach another time, trying to feel him closer, legs pushing his waist closer to hers while her hands kept wandering around his fit body. “I’m — I, fuck, I’m close.”

“I know,” he whispered, “I can feel you clench around me. Do you want to come, baby?”

She nodded, lower lip trapped in her teeth. Even if she wanted this to last more, she couldn’t hold the orgasm in. “Need to come with you. Now.”

“Look at me,” he ordered, one hand cupping her left cheek and caressing it softly, “I want you to —fuck— look at me when we come.”

With a few more trusts they both came, looking into each other’s eyes, moaning against each other’s lips and shaking against each other.

When the afterglow started to slow down, they simply stayed there, grabbing a fleece blanket at the end of the bed and covering their bodies from the cold that was seeping in now that the passion was over.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“And for what?”

“For everything you make me feel.”

The moment of peace didn’t last quite long.

“Guess what happened?” Jaehyun barged into the room, making them literally jump in the air, still lost in the haze of the orgasm, not even trying to hide what just happened. But he didn’t really care much. He heard them but had other things to worry about.

“What?”

“I got an email from my manager,” he started saying, a big smile on his face, almost making it hard to talk, “and guess who will be back on the runway for the Fashion Week in February?”

“They want you again!” Jade screamed, jumping out of the bed, wrapping around her body a blanket, and walking toward him.

“Yes,” he cheered, showing her the phone with the open mail.

“They also want to do another photoshoot with you,” she exclaimed, reading the whole thing. It wasn’t the invitation, but there were stated all the future plans and their will to go back to working with him like before.

“Tell me this is not a dream,” he said, looking at them since Yuta also got up to get closer to look at it himself.

“More than real, babe,” Yuta replied with a wide smile on his face. “They also stated that they just thought you needed some time off, so that’s great.”

“There was no way they were going to let his pretty face go to waste, he’s the most handsome man they have, would’ve been dumb,” she replied, lifting herself on her tiptoes to kiss him.

“We need to celebrate, we’re going out tonight,” she said, throwing the cover on the bed and entering the cabin to look through clothes.

“Maybe we can stay at home,” Jaehyun said, watching as she picked the clothes, trying to don’t get lost in the curves of her body.

“No way, sweetie,” she replied, turning around, “And look at me in the eyes,” she called him out when his eyes fell on her exposed chest.

“Hey, you’re butt naked, and you want me to look at you in the eyes? The fact you didn’t invite me before it’s a personal offence, by the way,” he said, hitting Yuta’s nape.

“Shut up, you would’ve lost the mail of your life if you were here with us, and you would’ve kept crying.”

“You shut up,” he replied before going back to Jade who walked out again, leaving the clothes on the chair of the desk.

“We are going out because this is big and because I have no intention to hide anymore, got it, bae?”

“But where?”

“I have a place in mind, just need to call Johnny so he can book and then take a shower.”

“Do we have to dress fancy?”

“It’s not an extremely fancy place, but dress up a little anyway.”

“Fine,” Jaehyun gave up, and she smiled before going out of the room to take a shower and fix herself.

“Why don’t you want to go out?” Yuta asked once they were left alone.

“It’s just, I don’t know, what if people…” he started, not even finding the words to say. He had no idea why he was so scared, probably he was just terrified that people could harm the ones he loved the most.

“Hey,” Yuta cooed, “it will be fine, you know paparazzi don’t come unless they’re called, and what do you think, that two low-quality pics from some fans is going to harm us?”

“Isn’t it what happened?”

“No, that was totally different. We won’t live hidden anymore, remember what we promised in Greece?”

“Yeah, you’re right. This is my night, we need to celebrate and I don’t care about what they say.”

“That’s my boy,” Yuta smiled. “And now let’s get ready, shouldn’t we?”

The drive to the place didn’t take more than fifteen minutes, considering how close they lived to Hammersmith’s area. Their new house wasn’t in the centre of London, but it was a good compromise to be a little outer of the chaos of the city and yet still be close to everything. Usually, the drive from Chiswick to Taeyong’s academy, JCA, didn’t take more than thirty minutes, and Johnny’s studio was close to it, so it didn’t weigh much.

They decided to try this place they’ve never been to, Sam’s Riverside, a cosy, quiet elegant restaurant on the banks of the Thames. She had chosen it mostly for that, the view of the riverside and the Hammersmith bridge was perfect from the window.

“I can’t believe we can finally do this without having to hide,” Taeyong said, looking around and feeling no weight on his shoulder. It was so nice to finally be able to exist. It was nice being able to sit in the open of a restaurant without having to ask to sit in a dark corner and hope nobody would pay attention.

“Yeah, we can finally get all dressed up so it can look like a date, a proper one,” Jade said, sipping on her drink while they waited for the food to arrive.

“You get out of the house just to show off your closet,” Yuta chuckled, eyes looking up and down on her body. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her since they walked out of the house, to be sincere, but the way the satin slip dress wrapped around her curves was making him go crazy. And the draped cowl neckline wasn’t doing any help, seeing how pressed up her chest was thanks to the corsetry boning. Also, the chocolate brown colour looked amazing on her and also fit perfectly with the restaurant, he couldn’t believe she would always find a way to check the places they went just to match.

“I mean, with all the fancy dressed Johnny buys me… I never have the chance to wear them,” she replied. “Honestly, I don’t have the chance to wear anything since I don’t even go out to work.” Working from home was great, she really liked being flexible and with the years, she had learned how to manage herself without procrastinating, but that also meant not going out, like never.

“We could unite our studios,” Johnny proposed out of the blue. But from the tone of his voice, it sounded like he had already been thinking about it and was just waiting for the occasion to say it.

“I don’t have a studio,” she replied, staring at him with a confused expression.

“Not yet,” he said, shrugging.

“What are you implying?”

“That there’s a whole empty floor on top of me, and you could take it. And we could become partners, making collaborations with clients that unite both photography and graphics. I have a lot of clients who don’t work in fashion, they might need a graphic as well.”

“Oh, well,” she whispered. She never wanted to do that because she wasn’t so sure she could take the weight of a business, a serious one. Something that included a building, and other workers, and... being a boss? She never pictured herself to be in command, terrified of being too harsh or too menial.

“Come on, say yes,” Jaehyun said excitedly.

“What are you saying, Lord,” she huffed, rolling her eyes. “I can’t do that, I will never be able to pull this off.”

“Are you kidding?” He asked, glaring at her. “You’re smart and good at your job.”

“And isn’t it also what you already do?” Yuta made her notice. “You already manage everything by yourself, and you do it perfectly.”

“Yeah, but this is big… and I don’t know, how can I take so much work alone?”

“You can hire Amita,” Johnny proposed. “Doesn’t she hate the agency she works for?”

Jade thought about it for a moment. The idea was appealing, but that was such a big step, and she wasn’t so sure she was able to make it, not right now, at least.

“Just think it through, your name could be more established and in case you’ll be needing meetings face to face, you’ll have a place. You wouldn’t even need to go there every single day, but it’s a status, more like,” Johnny reassured her. He got her, he was scared too when he had to open his studio, no matter how much he had longed for that moment.

“He’s trying to lure you so he can have you with you every day,” Taeyong kidded, tilting his head toward her and raising a brow.

“Dumbass, we’ll be at work, we have things to do,” Johnny replied, glaring at him.

“He’s mad cause he knows you’re right,” Jaehyun said, siding with Taeyong.

“You act like kids,” Yuta mumbled under his breath, and Jade agreed.

“We’ll see, by the way,” Jade replied, going back to the topic. “It doesn’t sound that bad but still, it would be such a big step.”

“Surely, it is,” Jaehyun replied. “But if you want to give it a try, remember that you always have us by your side.”

“Boo, cheesy,” Yuta joked, and the youngest kicked him under the table.

“Can you please have some manners in such place?” Jade rolled her eyes.

“I told you, we should’ve gone to McDonald’s or something,” Jaehyun told her.

“Seriously, that shitty place?” Yuta asked, looking at him with disgust.

“What do you propose then?”

“KFC all my life,” the older said, raising his hands up.

“I knew I could trust you,” Jade said, high-fiving Yuta.

“Y’all never tried Old Wild West, by the way, it’s good,” Jaehyun added, thinking about one of his favourite restaurant chains he had tried in Europe.

“Take us with you on your world trips and maybe we’ll try something different,” Jade said, once again remarking how they still haven’t had the chance to be with him during some of the big occasions he took part in.

“I will, okay? I’ll take you somewhere once.”

“You’ve said this for ages,” she complained.

“Not to take parts but the only time he took you somewhere it got people more shits to speculate about,” Yuta chimed, referring to the charity party.

She huffed, rolling her eyes and Jaehyun smiled. “I promise this time I will. Maybe you could all come to New York with me.”

“That sounds like a great holiday we all deserve,” Johnny hummed.

“I’ll be working my ass off,” Jaehyun reminded him.

“Sure, looking pretty on the runway is so hard to do,” the older joked, pinching his cheek.

“You’re so cruel,” Jaehyun whined, pouting.

“I’m kidding,” Johnny said, “...only if we get to be front row to see you.”

“I don’t have power over anything, I can’t just corrupt people. Especially now.”

“I’m sure you can try to pull some strings,” Yuta said and the other three hummed in agreement.

“You’re such opportunists,” he huffed, throwing his head back, making them laugh.

“It’s just some invitations to a show you take part in, we didn’t ask to get to the Oscars or something,” Taeyong whined, doe-eying him and pouting.

“Fine, fine,” Jaehyun gave up. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“See, he’s easy to convince,” Yuta joked, squeezing his hands.

“It’s just because it’s you,” Jaehyun replied. “I’d do anything for you.”

Soon after their food arrived and they started eating to celebrate the good news in Jaehyun’s carreer, cheering with one of the most expensive wines the place offered and talking about their future, finally with no more fears that somebody was going to take it away from them. And that dinner wasn’t only a celebration of Jaehyun’s success, but also to them, for everything they had been through and for still being together. It was their first public appearance as five, their first dinner with no need to hide, the first time they felt freer of letting themselves go to sweet touches and words.

And it was so nice to walk back to the car with their arms intertwined, and the joy of knowing that after that moment, only good things were to come.

“Jesus, could you please stop walking around the room like a madwoman?” Taeyong asked Jade as he tried to read through the projects he had to grade while he sat on the sofa of their living room, glasses on his nose and frown on his face.

“No,” she replied, tangling her fingers in the mass of her hair pulled up in a bun. “They won’t pick up! I need to know if they can take care of the catering or not by today.”

“Catering? Are we getting married?” He asked, pushing the glasses up on his nose and sitting straight to stare at her, scribbling something down on her tiny diary and sitting next to him.

“Who’s getting married?” Johnny asked, entering the room with his pc in hand, he had an editorial to post-produce, but he didn’t want to be alone in his room.

Jade sighed loudly, head thrown back and nostrils flaring. “Nobody’s getting married. It’s for Yuta’s birthday.”

“Are we doing something?” Taeyong asked, essays long forgotten as he pushed his knees close to his chest and slightly turned around to fully listen to her plans.

“Yes, I thought we could host a small party for him. He usually went back home but, this year, he can’t. I already contacted his closest friends, sneakily, I know, don’t judge me. But we can’t take care of the organization. There are around twenty people, or that should be.”

“So many?” Johnny asked, sitting at her side.

“Yeah. So I need to know if they can only prepare the dinner or if they can make the cake, too.”

“Wait, here?”

“Why not?”

“Can’t we go to a club or something?” Johnny proposed. “I know we’re all adults that won’t leave a total mess, but do we really have to clean the house after?”

“I wasn’t thinking of a party like the typical American movie things you and Jaehyun are used to, God forbid me from thinking about what happened there.”

“Hey! We spend our high school years here,” Johnny reminded her.

“Okay, right, but tell me what should we do then? I want him to have fun.”

“Usually, we only have a dinner and a whole day of bossing around deciding almost everything when it’s our birthday,” Johnny said, finding it kind of amusing how concentrated she was to organize something special for him.

“But it’s his first birthday with us, and I also think we should make it up for the way we left him all alone.”

“Wasn’t the holiday in Greece our way to make it up?” Taeyong asked, lifting a brow.

“That was for all of us.”

“He forgave us,” he replied with a shrug.

“I know, but… ugh, you don’t get me,” she wailed, getting up from the couch and starting to walk back and forth again, trying to come up with something they could’ve planned. They weren’t used to those things, Johnny was right. Their special days consisted of having dinner together and an entire day of exaggerated freedom of decision, and she had only been at Amita’s birthdays while Johnny and Jaehyun occasionally went to some celebrities’ parties, but that was surely not something they were going for.

Johnny sighed, closing the laptop, and glancing over at Taeyong who took off his glasses and placed them on the coffee table next to the papers to grade.

“Why don’t we plan something Halloween-themed?”

Jade turned around, raising a brow and twitching her lips in disgust. “It’s for him.”

“I know, but it’s close to Halloween, why don’t do something themed like that?”

“People won’t buy two costumes, and we’re all grown-ups.”

“As if you don’t enjoy dressing up like a sexy bunny every year,” he replied, cocking his head to the side and licking his lips, making her look down as sinful memories crossed her mind.

“Yeah, think about that being his special birthday gift,” Taeyong teased, making her face burn up even more.

“Oh, shut up! I’m not letting that be the first impression his friends will have of me,” she replied, shaking her head and fanning herself. It was very tempting. Yuta was a freak in bed, making her discover many things she never thought she would’ve liked and maybe this could’ve been added to the list but not on his birthday, not with his friends around. “And I didn’t wear it every year.”

“Then let’s not invite his friends,” Johnny shrugged. “Also, you weren’t much ashamed when we went to parties in the last years.”

“They were parties with people we’re overall close with and I wasn’t so known, also remember that we stayed little because we couldn’t be seen together, and we rushed home to have fun?”

“Oh, trust me, I can’t easily forget my favourite fuck of the year,” he joked.

“You perv!” She replied, throwing him a pillow. “But please, can we think about him?”

“You never put so much effort into organizing something for us,” Taeyong huffed, crossing his arms on his chest.

“It’s not the time to be jealous, I promise next summer I’ll give you the best birthday party to make up for the horrible birthday you had this year,” she exhaled.

Taeyong sighed, but then nodded and asked, “are you even sure he’s that close with these friends?”

“I found them on Instagram and in his contact.”

“Maybe they are just colleagues.”

“Shouldn’t we organize something just between us?” Johnny repeated again, not because he didn’t want to organize something, but how could they be sure he was close with them?

“But it’s…”

“If he went back home it means it’s not something that he’s used to doing, he won’t be offended.”

“But you also have to get that, unlike us, he’s only dating me and Jay. I’m not saying that he doesn’t like you or you’re not friends, but for him it’s different. Maybe also having other friends around will make him happier.”

“Okay, then let’s come up with something,” Johnny said, smiling back at her when she melted, happy they wanted to collaborate.

“Can you stop stomping your feet to the floor? You’re getting to my head,” Johnny asked, voice clipped as he kept his hand firm around her waist.

“What if he doesn’t like this? What if staying at home was a better idea?” Johnny rolled his eyes for the nth time that night, and the party wasn’t even started. In the end, they opted for a classic themed party with wine and food degustation in a sophisticated place that just opened in town. He couldn’t see what was wrong since all his friends had arrived and they already started chatting, thrilled by the night ahead, and Yuta was supposed to arrive any minute with Jaehyun who had promised a romantic date out.

“He’ll love it, there’s no way he won’t.”

“We should’ve gone for a sci-fi-themed party, he loves it.”

He sighed loudly, why was she being so paranoid? “That will be the theme of his Halloween costume, babe, we would’ve ruined it for him. And also, how do you get him to get out of the house in a tentacles monster attire before Halloween?”

“Tentacles?” She asked, staring at him with a partly open mouth.

“The only word that your mind registered was that, really?”

“I thought he was going for a scientist or something like that, but I didn’t catch on that… Where did he get the costume?”

“Maybe it is just a normal monster, why are you focusing on that?” He asked, truly not getting the importance of his Halloween costume… oh… oh, wow. “Don’t tell me it’s what I think?” He asked, already knowing the answer when her gaze diverted from his and her chest panted deeply. “He is turning you into a weird creature, I think I’m going to keep you close to me on the 31st.”

“Your roleplays are getting quite boring, Mr. Suh,” she said. “Do I have to remind you that last year you dressed up as the Coca-cola bear?”

“Noted that you’re not into furries but monsters with weird appendages.”

“Shut up,” she half-screamed, hitting him jokingly before the sound of steps outside made her realize it was finally time. “He’s here,” she whispered, turning to his friend before staring back at the door.

“Surprise!” They all screamed as soon as the doors opened, letting in some cold October air as the birthday boy and Jaehyun stepped inside.

Yuta stared in front of him with pure shock on his face not expecting this. He had to admit he thought it was a little weird how they didn’t plan a dinner together but, instead, for him to go on a date, and it was even weirder when Jaehyun ‘got lost’ and kept wandering around town before getting there, but now it was all much clearer.

“You are crazy! You did this for me?” He asked, walking in, and looking around at all the decoration that hung around the place and the two tables running at the side of the room full of plates and bottles of wines.

“All for you,” Jade chanted, leaving Johnny’s side to reach him and leave a kiss on his lips. “Happy birthday, love.”

“Thank you,” he replied, kissing her another time. “You shouldn’t have gone all the way,” he added when they pulled away from the kiss before looking behind her shoulders where his friends were waving at him. “How did you get my friends here?”

“I have my ways,” she smirked and then turned around, winking at Shotaro, silently thanking him for making sure she called the people he could actually stand and not only casual colleagues.

“And you also got all of them to be here in time, wow, you’re a witch,” he joked, eyes landing on the usual people who were always late, waving at them with his hand.

“Your favourite witch,” she winked, sending him a flying kiss before reaching out her hand and dragging him to the middle of the room where his friends were waiting.

“I can’t believe she had to organize something to have all of you in one place,” Yuta said, surprised at how his different group of friends seemed to be getting along. He never had the courage to put them all together, not that there were many of them, but still, he strictly kept them separated.

“I have to say I was really skeptical about accepting. I thought it was a joke, but when she told us it was a surprise, I understood that it was valid since it wasn’t coming for you,” Momo, one of his friends since college that came all the way to England with him, working on the same job, said.

“You’re not one to party?” Jade asked, rather surprised. Given his personality, she expected he liked it. “Is this not of your liking?”

“What? No. I just don’t have the patience to organize things by myself,” Yuta reassured her, arm wrapping around her waist, thumb caressing her side in circles to reassure her. “I love this,” he said, looking around once again.

She smiled, letting out a breath of relief, she was terrified she had planned something wrong.

“Also,” Momo chimed, making her turn her head toward her, “he was the party animal back then. I have so many stories that I could tell but I won’t, not right now, not until I’ll make sure your love is so strong that not even the pool party of 20—”

“Enough,” Yuta almost screamed, stopping her mid-phrase and making them both laugh loudly.

“We need to get out together, then. I’d love to know more about him,” Jade said joyfully, eyes sparkling up as they jumped from Yuta’s annoyed face to Momo’s happy one.

“Oh, I can’t wait to,” she replied with a wink.

Before Yuta could say anything Jaehyun reached them. “Used me as a chauffeur, and then you won’t even talk to me or give me a kiss,” he complained.

“You are the worst chauffeur ever by the way,” he replied. “He couldn’t even come up with anything that made sense, he kept wandering around town saying he couldn’t find the street.”

The two girls laughed and then Jade said, “and that’s why I’m the one who plans everything in the relationship.”

“Hey! Johnny wouldn’t call me, I had no idea what to do anymore,” Jaehyun defended.

“It’s alright,” Yuta said, leaving a kiss on his cheek. “I’m here now and I was surprised. Thank you for the terrible driving experience.”

Jaehyun huffed, rolling his head back. “There’s a reason if I almost never drive, not at night at least.”

“I totally get you, traffic gets on my nerves,” Momo sided with him, and then she pointed at the tables. “Should we taste something? The wine is calling me.”

“Of course, alcohol is your best friend,” Yuta chuckled, rolling his eyes. “I should actually greet some others, but you can go,” he said, before turning around to catch up with his other friends.

Momo smiled and then intertwined her arms around Jade’s and Jaehyun’s. “I have so many things to ask you.”

“Like gossip or what’s the secret recipe of my grandma cake’s?” Jaehyun asked as they made their way to the wine table.

“It’s not gossip, I don’t care about that. But I want to know how you two got him to fall so deeply,” she asked, her black shoulder-length hair swinging from side to side as her head moved to look at them both.

“Is it surprising? He doesn’t seem scared of love,” Jade questioned, staring at the girl in shock.

“He’s not, but let’s say he’s never been the romantic type, not so… explicitly at least,” she started saying, eyes scanning the paper that explained the different wine qualities. “Is it wise to mix red and white wine?” She then asked, turning to Jaehyun who widened his eyes and said, “please, let’s not end the night by calling the ambulance. Why don’t we start from the food table, and then we pick the wine?”

“Fine,” she said with a shrug, turning around, once again intertwining their arms together and walking to the right side of the room. “I was saying. He always loved, but his way of showing it had never been like this, especially after the last serious story he had. So, you either put a spell on him or I don’t know.”

“I assure you we didn’t,” Jade replied with a chuckle as she briefly searched for him in the room and watched how he was talking lively with some of his friends and Johnny and Taeyong. “What happened with his last serious story?”

“It started like a fairytale. I almost believed she was supposed to be the one, but then it turned toxic pretty soon. Jealousy, an incredible amount of jealousy. He couldn’t go anywhere without her knowing. And it wasn’t because he gave her reasons to act like that, simply there wasn’t enough trust.”

Jade gulped, suddenly feeling extremely guilty about everything that had happened. That was why he was so hurt when they blamed him, trust had crumbled apart.

“And then?”

“They kept breaking up and making up, it was a continuous push and pull. They went on for months, if not for a year like that. And he didn’t know what to do, the more love he gave, the more it felt like she wasn’t even trying to fix things between them.”

“He kept trying for a year?” Jaehyun asked, remembering how they also did the same and feeling like shit.

“When he loves someone, he loves deeply, and it’s hard for him to let go.”

“But at some point, he had to let go, what happened?”

“I had to come in, I couldn’t stand seeing him going around like that anymore. Blocking her everywhere and learning how to say no was the hardest lesson. But I want to focus on you, he promised himself he wasn’t getting caught in anything serious ever again, not soon at least, and he ended up with… four?”

“Oh,” Jade chuckled, “he’s only dating us.”

“But you’re all dating each other?”

“Yeah,” Jaehyun replied. “I think that’s not a secret anymore.”

“I was surprised when I first read the things online and his name was on it, he had barely told me he was seeing you,” she pouted. “I got mad, not to sound crazy but I was, am, a fan of yours, so how could he not tell me he was dating you? But then when he told me how much he wanted to protect what you had and maintain it as secret as possible, I understood. Given the backlash you received, it was only normal.”

“He didn’t even talk about me?” The man asked, truly surprised of hearing those words.

“Nope, not a single word. That’s when I realized how deeply he cared for you. I was afraid, terrified he was going to get burned again but apparently…” she smiled, looking around and then focusing on the two that were standing next to her.

“It wasn’t easy, I think we did hurt him a little,” Jade confessed.

“It can happen in love, but it’s important to be aware of our mistakes and never do them again. He wouldn’t be here today if he truly didn’t love you, trust me, he had learned his lesson from the past. He won’t fall back into something toxic,” she smiled, after turning around, plate full, and walking toward a table so they could sit.

“That’s why I was so excited to meet you,” she said turning to Jade.

“Me?”

“Yeah, he had fallen for him first, he could’ve kept it limited to just them, but then he also fell for you. He would never shut up about you, going around saying you were just good friends with a lot of things in common but well, he never went around talking about me like that and so much. I almost hated you for how often he would insert you in every conversation.”

Jade felt her heart pump faster and had to lower her gaze to the ground. “I didn’t know.”

“He was right, though. You are amazing,” Momo smiled. “When I received the call and heard what you wanted to do for him I almost melted. I hope you two never stop loving him, he deserves happiness. So much happiness.”

“Trust me, we won’t. It’s kind of impossible to push him out of your mind,” Jade replied with a soft smile on her face before looking up at Jaehyun who was nodding and then staring back at the woman in front of them.

The appetizers were then followed by dinner as they all sat at the same round table, getting to know each other and telling embarrassing stories about the past, much to Yuta’s dislike. And he was glad that the only one who knew too many awkward stories about his past was Momo and nobody else, or else he would’ve looked like a tomato for most of the dinner.

But the surprises weren’t over, and before the cake, Yuta was dragged to the middle of the floor as the orchestra started playing from a corner.

“You seriously did too much,” he commented, eyes lighting up as he watched the instruments play and some of his friends take over the dance floor as classical music filled the place.

“She did too much,” Johnny replied. “And she thought it still wasn’t enough. It was really annoying to hear her nags about how everything had to be absolutely perfect.”

Yuta chuckled and then lowered his head to stare at Jade that was trying to divert her gaze. “Really? This all comes from you?”

She sighed, raising her head and looking at him. “Yeah, I am in fact very whipped for you, and I wanted everything to be absolutely perfect. Guilty.”

His lips curled in a smile, not his usual bright one that showed his perfect teeth but one that was simply reassuring, warm, if a smile can be warm. That kind of smile that meant he was glad he found himself somewhere, in this case, with someone. Because as he looked at her face and thought about the night spent, he realized that they, Yuta and Jade, finally had what he had longed to have for so long. She loved him just as much as she loved the other three. He wasn’t a plus anymore. Their story wasn’t under a test. They were there. Strong like the others. The flame of their love just as big.

“Left you speechless? Do you underestimate my skills?”

He snickered, shaking his head, getting dragged out of his thoughts but not enough to stop thinking how lucky he was to have her in his life. “I’d never do that. But I was thinking it’s only fair if I ask you, the magician of the night, to dance with me. Will you?”

She smiled, grabbing his hand and bowing a little. “I’d be delighted, my Lord,” she joked.

“Too many period dramas,” Johnny joked behind them, and she simply stuck her tongue out before walking to the floor with Yuta’s hand in hers.

When they reached the middle, their bodies started moving to the rhythm, not really good at following the right steps of what seemed a waltz, but they couldn’t really care. In her defence, the midi-cut black dress was skin-tight, and even if the fabric was quite stretchable, it still limited her movements. Either way, it felt good. Yuta’s arms were strong around her smaller frame and his scent was so good that if she closed her eyes, she felt like she wasn’t even there.

Her eyes looked up, taking time to admire his relaxed features and the way his black hair was framing his face. And then lowered on his body, loving how the black suit made him look so classy.

“Why you never told us?” She asked out of the blue, and the man stared at her with a confused expression. “About your past, about trust, and everything else.”

Yuta sighed, getting what she was talking about, imagining that Momo must’ve told her something, and then replied, “would’ve it changed something?”

“Well, maybe we wouldn’t have treated you that way.”

“Why do you keep going back there? It’s in the past. None of us was in ourselves back then, it was our worst time. You and the others are not like her. If there was something wrong in our relationship, I would know.”

“But you forgave us so many times.”

“And? I know what I’m doing, Jade. I know I love you and Jaehyun, and deeply care for the others. And that’s all I need to know to put the past in the past.” As much as he couldn’t deny it did hurt, he also knew what happened between them wasn’t like what happened with his ex. He couldn’t compare the situations and he also didn’t want to think about her and all the pain their story put him through. He had put a stone on it and didn’t want to think that a similar path was ahead for them.

“Yeah but —”

“Have you ever told me anything about your past?” He asked, taking her aback, almost making her trip in their steps, but his firm hold maintained her up.

“No, but, it’s —” she answered, but got stopped once again.

“Shh, no. And does that stop me from loving you? Does not knowing about Taeyong’s past stop me from thinking of him as one of the dearest people I have in my life? Does not knowing about Jaehyun’s ex stop me from loving him?”

She kept silent, simply looking at him, feeling deeply sorry for still not being able to have opened up with him. And she knew that he was right, knowing someone’s past doesn’t bring anything more to the table but just like she had learned in these years, not knowing it, also meant it was easier to hurt who you love unconsciously. “I just wished you told us how much it hurt.”

“I did. And what happened hurt me because I was terrified of losing every single one of you, not because of a past story. She never crossed my mind when I feared there was nothing left to save of us, trust me. I left her in the back of my mind, and you should too.”

She nodded, lowering her gaze to their feet that were moving in perfect sync in their lacquered black shoes.

“Hey,” he called, lifting her head with two fingers. “Don’t cry at my birthday party, come on.”

“I just… I feel like I can’t show you how much I love you. I feel like it’s never enough. But I do. I love you just as much as I love the others and I don’t want you to think that the less time together or the less struggles makes you different, I…”

“You need to stop worrying so much,” he said, kissing her slowly, cupping her face with one hand as the other on her waist brought her body closer to his. “I know how much you love me. I can see it,” he whispered, letting go of her and making her turn before their bodies touched again. “You did all of this for me, you even managed to gather here my dearest friends without knowing them. If I don’t tell you something about the past it’s not because I don’t love you or think that what we have it’s not enough, I simply don’t believe some people are still worth my time. If they are in the past, there’s a reason. And if you are here, right now, there’s also a reason.”

Hearing the kindness and honesty in his voice, she couldn’t help but smile. She needed to stop worrying so much and understand that if somebody had a problem with her or anything, they would’ve come forward to talk about it, and not let it silently tear them apart.

“Fine, then. Let’s keep the past in the past.”

As soon as the song stopped, they were reached by Taeyong that asked, “can we all do a dance together? I don’t know how it will work but we’ve never done that.”

“It’s his birthday, he’s the one that should grant a wish or something,” Johnny replied, trying to push Taeyong back to remind him that maybe Yuta wanted to spend some time with the two he was dating.

“Nah, I agree with him. Let’s dance together,” the birthday boy replied, taking Taeyong’s hand in his and then handing the other to Jade. Johnny smiled and then pulled out his hand to grab Jaehyun’s as they all walked in the middle of the floor.

“Guess we’ll have to improvise a little, what is the dance called? A quadrille?” Yuta asked when the music started playing and they simply started moving in a circle.

“They technically require four couples or six, not five people,” Taeyong corrected.

“Well, then let’s split and try to do that,” he replied, even if he wasn’t sure how they were going to dance.

“One will be left out,” Taeyong said.

Jade sighed. “Or we could simply have fun and go with the flow like we always do.” It wasn’t like their relationship ever followed any rules or traced paths, the best things came to them when they simply closed their eyes and listened to their hearts. “Come on,” she encouraged, starting to dance around them, letting go of their hands.

The other four smiled before following her. And soon enough they perfectly found a way to make it work as their bodies swung to the rhythm of the music playing and their laughs echoed in the room when they would occasionally miss a step or crash against each other. It wasn’t perfect, but it worked, and now they had all the time to improve it on other occasions with no need to hide anymore.

And they lost count of how much they danced, feeling so light-hearted they never wanted it to stop. But it still was Yuta’s birthday, and they still had a cake to eat, candles to blow, and gifts to open, so that magic had to come to a stop.

When they arrived home, it was past midnight, and while Taeyong was already tired and immediately holed up in Johnny’s bedroom with him, the other three were still up.

“How do you still find the energy to jump around?” Yuta asked, staring at Jade that was twirling around the living room, the black Jimmy Choo platform heels left at the door, but he still had no idea how her feet weren’t screaming after being in six-inch heels all night.

She shrugged, humming lowly before stopping and turning around, tangling her arms around his shoulders. “It’s still your birthday, isn’t it? I mean, it is past midnight, but we can close an eye, right?” She asked, lips turning into a smirk and eyes drifting back at Jaehyun that was grinning.

Yuta sighed, turning to stare at him and then faced her again. “What the hell have you planned?”

“You almost sound mad. If you don’t want it, we can have fun by ourselves,” she teased, pulling away from him and walking to the side next to Jaehyun.

They looked at each other and then giggled as they started running upstairs, leaving him behind.

“Hey! What the hell!”

“Shh, don’t scream or you’ll wake them up,” she reminded him before disappearing on the first floor.

Yuta sighed, running a hand in his hair, and then following them. Now, having a big house was good, they all had their spaces and everything they wanted but Yuta was kinda hating it now that he couldn’t find them anywhere.

He kept quiet and tried to open the doors, avoiding Johnny’s room, hoping they didn’t hide there.

He reached the second floor and still couldn’t find them until he felt a soft fabric wrap over his eyes. “Don’t scream,” Jaehyun warned, voice coming out in a whisper.

“Why would I do that?”

“I just needed to make sure you know it’s us,” he replied, breath fanning against the skin of his neck.

“What do you have in mind?” Yuta asked again, and he could feel the smirk on his face even if he couldn’t see him

“Just trust us,” the younger replied and then started walking toward what was their biggest bedroom. The one they rarely used.

Jade was waiting inside, impatient and excited, looking around to make sure once again that everything was perfect. She had gotten rid of her black dress to wear the set they picked for the night and was wearing a silk robe to hide the surprise for him.

When the door opened, Yuta was blown away by the intoxicating scent of cinnamon.

“He was quick at finding you,” Jade noted, hands cupping his face before leaning in to kiss him. “I was afraid you were going to make me wait.”

“I was supposed to chase you two,” Yuta replied, trying to move forward for more but she was already gone.

“Come on, follow him for a few more steps,” she ordered, waiting for him to sit on the mattress.

“I thought Johnny said that, usually, the birthday person is in control? Why are you two switching up?”

“Can you just shut up and take what we give you?” She replied, gaining a side-eye from Jaehyun which she simply shrugged off.

“Don’t test me,” Yuta answered instead, but still sat against the headboard, feeling the bed sink at his side and someone, surely Jade, crawl closer to him.

“What are you doing?” He asked when she grabbed his wrists and he felt the cold metal clatter. “Don’t you dare tie me up.”

“Oops, I did that,” she replied nonchalantly before unwrapping the blindfold.

“You’re going to regret this later, babe,” he promised, looking into her eyes.

“It was his idea,” she defended, even if it wasn’t and she hoped that Jaehyun would stick to her game.

“It was,” he did, thankfully, getting rid of his jacket, just leaving on the white blouse and the tie.

Yuta rolled his eyes and then huffed. “And then? What are we doing after this?”

“Take care of you,” Jade replied, straddling his lap, the expensive fabric curling up on her thighs, hands wrapping at the sides of his face as she pulled him in a long kiss.

“Was tying me necessary?” He asked when she moved away, starting to grind against him and he had to fight to urge to moan already and act as if she wasn’t affecting him.

“Aren’t you into this?” Jaehyun asked, titling a brow, and sitting next to them. “You kept it a secret from me for so long.”

“I like to give, shit, not receive,” he replied through gritted teeth.

“Oh, please, you’re getting hard already,” she mocked, grinding harder against his stiff cock, eliciting a low moan from him. “See, it’s good.”

“Of course, you are good,” he replied, glaring at her, struggling against the handcuffs uselessly.

She smirked, leaning close again to kiss him, hands moving fast against the zip of his pants to then free him from his clothes, lower body completely on sight. “You’re so hard for me,” she cooed, hand teasing his dick.

“Don’t tease me, Jade. You know what happens if you do,” he warned her, but she simply chuckled.

“How are you going to punish me if you’re tied? You can’t really do anything,” she taunted, clicking her tongue.

Yuta loudly breathed through his nose and then looked over at Jaehyun. “But he can.”

“But do I want to?” Jaehyun asked, completely catching him by surprise.

Yuta snickered, tilting his head back, tongue wetting his lips. “So this was your amazing plan? How far are you going to push me?”

“Why are we pushing you?” Jaehyun asked with a teasing tone, grabbing Jade by the waist, and pushing her close to him. “You look very beautiful like this,” he added while his hands slowly touched her body and then pulled the belt of her silk robe, exposing the set of baby blue lingerie they picked just for the occasion.

“Fuck,” Yuta cursed, lips pursed together as he held inside the ten thousand other curses he wanted to throw at them. “I hope you won’t leave me here all night.”

“Shush,” Jaehyun ordered. “Why don’t you just enjoy the show?”

“This is so unfa—” he started saying but, before he could finish, Jaehyun grabbed the discarded blindfold and wrapped it around his mouth, tight enough to muffle his complaints.

“There, so much better,” he whispered with a smirk after assuring it was secured.

Jade snickered from behind, watching how Yuta was looking up at him; if looks could kill, he would be ashes on the floor.

“Now that you can keep quiet,” he said, signalling Jade to move right in front of him as he got up to grab something from behind them, “you could enjoy what we have in store for you.”

Yuta mumbled something, honestly annoyed he couldn’t even speak. Maybe, just maybe, there was something hot in this, but he hated it so much, especially when Jade was kneeling in front of him and the lace of the lingerie perfectly hugged her body.

When Jaehyun came back, he smiled at her and then said, “such a good kitten, aren’t you?” She nodded, lifting her head up and smiling at him. And Yuta almost choked when his eyes finally saw what he was holding in his hand, a light-blue collar with a heart ring in the middle and a leash attached to it. “Bet you’d love to be the one putting this on her, wouldn’t you?” Jaehyun teased some more, his eyes only focused on the man that was shaking his head fast and whispering muffled yes, please behind the fabric around his face. Well, better not being able to speak than not to see, if he was him, he surely wouldn’t have wanted to lose this sight.

“Please, sir,” Jade spoke, gaining Jaehyun’s attention once again. He smirked and then unclasped the choker. “Do you want this? Want me to wrap this around your pretty neck?”

She nodded swiftly. “Yes, please.”

“Do you think she deserves it?” Jaehyun asked, looking over at Yuta who rolled his eyes as an answer. “That’s not much of an answer, babe,” he chuckled and then moved his hands close to her neck, the leather fabric wrapping around her neck as he secured the lock and gave a brief tug to the chain, making her lowly gasp in surprise and excitement.

A muffled groan came from Yuta’s mouth as he watched the scene in front of him, now more than sure that once he was free from the cuffs, he was going to make them pay for it. Jade did that on purpose, taking advantage of him confessing how badly he wanted to try those kinds of things. And now she was right there, exactly how he wished to see her, and he wasn’t the one having his way with her.

“Look at her,” Jaehyun cooed, cupping her chin, and turning her face toward him. “Isn’t she pretty?”

Yuta’s moan was louder this time, and Jaehyun was almost tempted at setting him free, but just not yet. What they had in mind wasn’t even nearly started. So, he got rid of his pants and tie, leaving the latter next to her for further use, and walked away once again.

She kept her eyes on Yuta, gaze getting captured by his hard dick that was laying against his abs and then up to looked at him. She really wanted to move forward and give him what he was silently begging for, but what they had planned was different. Also, it was funny seeing Yuta like this, considering he usually was the one that would never waste a single occasion to tie her somewhere.

When the bed behind her sank, she felt her heart beating louder.

“Spread your legs for me,” Jaehyun instructed from behind her, and she followed, gaze still focused in front of her, feeling herself getting even wetter at the way Yuta was staring at her and the way his cock was leaking so much pre-cum without being touched. And her breath got stuck in her throat when Jaehyun placed the vibrator right against her cunt, making her close her legs, but Yuta swiftly locked his legs with hers and forced them to stay open. Hell no, he already couldn’t touch or speak, there was no way he also wasn’t going to see.

She rolled her head back, meeting Jaehyun’s shoulder, and parted her mouth to let out low moans as he kept moving the vibrating toy against her covered core. He went on like this for a while, making sure to press on the right spots to make her squirm and cry and beg for more and observe Yuta go crazy with each moan and plead. Then Jaehyun moved her wet panties to the side and inserted two fingers in as he kept the vibrator on her clit.

“Shh,” he whispered. “You don’t want to wake Yong and Johnny up, right? Well, unless you don’t want them to touch you and talk to you too,” he teased, swiftly looking over at Yuta that, he was more than sure, wanted to kill him.

“No,” she whimpered, and Jaehyun chuckled before turning off the vibrator and pushing her legs closer to her body, displaying her to Yuta even more, and locking them with his to keep her in place. His fingers started moving faster in and out of her, curling just the way she liked and getting her so close to reaching the climax. “Please, I’m close,” she moaned, and he stopped, pulling out of her, her eyes snapped open as she tried to find the words to understand why he would stop when she was so close.

“It’s his birthday, baby, don’t you remember? And look at how hard he is for you.”

Yuta let out a sigh of relief, grateful that maybe they were almost done with that torture.

“Take care of him and then you’ll get to come too,” he said, tugging at the chain around her neck and forcing her to crawl closer to their boyfriend. “Well, if he wants to.”

Her head snapped up, wide eyes staring at him in disbelief. He didn’t just make her act like a brat and then pass the control ball to Yuta, right? Oh, fuck him.

“That’s not fair,” she complained but Jaehyun just chuckled and rid Yuta of the mouth gag.

“Not the first unfair thing of the night, sweetie,” he said with a firm tone.

“But it was his fault too,” she whined, shifting in her place.

“Let’s see if you can make it up then,” he replied, pointing at his lap.

She nodded and Jaehyun tugged her once again, lowering her body on Yuta. Her lips swiftly wrapped around his dick. Then she started bobbing her head up and down, setting a steady pace as she took time to go all the way down before going up.

Yuta rolled his head back, hands rustling against the handcuffs, hips bucking up in the desperate attempt to do what his tied hands couldn’t do.

“Your mouth feels so good,” he praised, staring down at her, cock throbbing harder when she pulled away for a second to look at him, innocent doe eyes looking up at him while her tongue ran over her lips and licked away the rest of some pre-cum and spit.

“God, when you get me out of these is over for you,” he warned her, but she simply giggled before Jaehyun pushed her head down on him. She gagged at the unexpected intrusion, but soon after gained control again, taking him as deep as she could while Jaehyun’s hand still held tight around a makeshift ponytail.

“Look at how you’re turning him into a mess,” Jaehyun cooed, mocking Yuta’s face, twisted in an expression of pure bliss, and the way his fingers were digging deep into his palms. It wasn’t new seeing him like this, a complete mess in his hands, but he wasn’t used to seeing him fight different parts of himself. He was enjoying all of this more than he wanted to show, but it was clear he wasn’t going to say it out loud.

“Bet you want my hand to be yours, right?” He teased again while he kept moving her head up and down, setting the rhythm. “Would you push her faster?” He asked, starting to go faster.

“Fuck, yes, just like this,” Yuta replied, voice rough and low. “What the fuck,” he cursed when the younger lifted her head off completely.

“What a shame I’m not you,” he joked, teasing, a playful smirk curling his lips. And Jade was hiding a chuckle, too, nibbling at her lower lips to stop it from show.

“Just quit fucking around and come back here,” Yuta ordered, talking directly to her. “Come on, now.”

“Why?” She asked teasingly, rolling a strand of hair in her fingers and pouting.

Yuta rolled his eyes, a loud huff coming out of his mouth. “I said, stop fucking around and finish what you started, now.”

“Or? What are you going to do to me? It’s not like you can move.”

“I’m going to repeat it one last time, kitten,” he started, intense gaze meeting hers, and that would’ve been enough to make her submit and crawl to him again, but she wanted to have more fun and see how far he was going to push. She wanted to hear him beg for her even if his words were orders. “Come here and put that pretty mouth of yours to good use.”

She was about to move but the lash hanging from the collar was pulled by Jaehyun who tugged her in a hungry and long kiss, the other hand purposefully roaming every patch of her body to make Yuta go feral. If Yuta could’ve, he would’ve beaten his ass for all these games he was playing, but he was going to make sure to come up with other plans.

“Can you please pay attention to me?” Yuta almost screamed, voice higher than the usual but he was going crazy over there. They chuckled before pulling away from each other and looking at him.

“Yes, birthday boy,” she taunted, finally crawling to him.

He let out a sigh of relief when her hand wrapped around his base and started pumping and twisting.

“Need your mouth, please. Fucking use your mouth,” he muttered through gritted teeth when her fingers ran over his slit.

“At your orders, babe,” she winked and then lowered on his cock, taking the full length in her mouth once again.

But this time she didn’t stop, she kept going, rhythm fast, and cheeks hollowed around his size, sucking him just like he wanted and needed.

“Fuck, so good, so fucking good,” he moaned, by now he had given up trying to get rid of the cuffs, and only focused on the pleasure. Bliss highlighted when Jaehyun pushed her back further down, making her arch her ass up, and started fingering her. The sloppy sounds of her mouth around his dick, mixing with the lewd sounds of her cum dripping around Jaehyun’s fingers.

And the pleasure she was receiving, completely unexpected, caused her to moan around his length and bounce back against the fingers to get more friction, running after the orgasm she was denied before.

“Grinding against him like a desperate kitten?” Yuta teased, feeling the high nearer than ever as his eyes kept moving from her face to her ass.

“Come on, pretty,” he encouraged, hips bucking up, making her choke around him. “Make me come and maybe you’ll come too,” he said, looking at Jaehyun to warn him to don’t make her come. So the younger slipped his fingers out, lightly tapping her ass cheek, eliciting a whine full of disappointment from her.

“No need to cry,” Jaehyun said, fingers tracing the skin of her thighs, “give him what you want, and you’ll get a reward, come on.”

She knitted her brows and then added her hands to her mouth, hand playing with Yuta’s balls and mouth putting even more effort at sucking.

“Shit,” he moaned, chest panting and head thrown back. “Gonna come. Fucking swallow it, come on, fuuuck,” he groaned, hips jerking messily into her throat, cum spilling in her mouth as he came undone.

“Good girl,” Yuta praised when she swallowed everything and straightened her back once again, “But now you two better get me out of these, or tonight you won’t make it out alive.”

Jaehyun giggled before moving to grab the keys and Jade kept quiet, knowing damn well that he was absolutely going to wreck her as soon as he was free. But Yuta didn’t jump on her as she expected, he sighed loudly, massaging his wrists, and then lifted his gaze to stare at her.

“Had fun, kitten?” He asked, running a hand in his hair before grabbing the leash and swiftly fastening two turns around his hand, pushing her close to him.

She gulped, pondering on her answer, but, knowing that lying wasn’t getting her anything better, she was honest. “Yes, so much fun.”

Yuta snickered. “That’s the thing about you, you never know when to stop. Or maybe you do, but you just don’t care,” he whispered, yanking her again, making her moan. “You’re so reckless. But I don’t like little brats like you.”

“Are you going to punish me?” She asked, sweet eyes looking up at him.

The man laughed and scanned her pleading expression, his lips twitched in a smirk before he let go of her and got up.

“Since it’s my night, don’t you think I should be the one in control?” He asked, getting rid of his blouse, and looking over at Jaehyun that was silently watching them.

“You can’t be mad because we wanted to mess with you, come on,” Jaehyun said.

“I’m not mad,” he replied and then dragged her off the bed. “I actually want to see you two have some fun together, you’re really hot,” he said, before pointing at the armchair in the corner of the room. “Will you go and bring it here for me?” He asked her, and she followed, feet moving swiftly toward it and dragging it right in front of the mirror that took more than half of the other side of the wall. “Can you ride him?”

“Why do you —”

“Shh, I asked you if you can do that. Answer me.”

“Yeah,” she replied and then climbed on top of Jaehyun that was already sitting on the chair. She started kissing him slowly as his hands cupped her ass. Her hips were grinding against his hard cock and her hands were wrapped around his shoulder.

Yuta circled them, a tie behind his back, and then sat on the armrest. “Relax,” he told Jaehyun, caressing his cheek and moving his hand to grab his dick and aligning it with her entrance, watching as she slowly sank on him. He smirked to himself when Jaehyun moaned and his arms fell at his side, giving him the chance to bring them back around the chair and tie him with the tie.

“What the fuck,” he screamed, looking up at the black-haired in disbelief. “Yuta what the hell, no.”

“You really thought I was only going to punish her? It’s funny, isn’t it?” He teased, wrapping an arm around her body and lifting her up from the man, a moan of disappointment rolling out of her lips too when she felt empty once again.

Jaehyun huffed, rolling his head back and cursing lowly. “But you already came,” he whined, and Jade almost wanted to laugh for how high-pitched his voice was.

“Enjoy the show,” Yuta said, winking at him. “You have the best view, so you can watch her face as I fuck her dumb.”

“Yuta, please,” she mumbled but his stern gaze shut her up immediately.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t forget about you,” he said, pinching her chin before standing behind her. “I’m just thinking about all the things I could do to you.”

She felt her breath get stuck in her throat as her eyes followed him in the mirror.

“I haven’t had the chance to compliment you, yet. Dolled yourself up so prettily just for me?”

“Yes,” she replied with no hesitation, “just for you.”

“I see,” he smiled, running his fingers on her body, shivers crawling on her skin. “This blue looks good on you, I don’t think I want to take this off,” he whispered, hands cupping her boobs through the fabric, her head rolled back but he immediately tugged the leash around her neck and forced her to look up. “No, no, pretty girl, look up in the mirror and stare into my eyes. Got it?”

“Yes,” she whimpered, wetting her lips.

“Can you please get straight to the point?” Jaehyun stopped them, annoyed by how much he was dragging it.

“Shut up if you don’t want me to stuff your mouth with something,” he replied and Jade moved her head to look at him. “And you keep your eyes on me if you don’t want to worsen your punishment.”

“Sorry.”

“You better be,” Yuta said before bending her forward and spreading her legs. His hands ran over the skin on her ass and pulled her cheeks apart, making her moan lowly as she bucked her back up. Yuta snickered. “Want more? Want my dick that badly?”

“Yes, yes, please,” she mumbled, trying to grind on him but he took a step back and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Then show me how desperate you are,” he said, patting his thigh. “Come here.”

She turned around and walked toward him, but he turned her once again before making her sit with her legs at the side of his left leg. “I still want you to look at yourself when you grind on me like a desperate little puppy.”

“You — you want me to grind on you?”

“Yes, kitty. Come on.”

“But I want —”

“It’s my thigh or nothing. You chose. If you want to come that badly, that will do.”

“Fi-fine,” she mumbled before starting to move against the flexing muscle of his thigh, whole body burning up for how good it felt and how exposed she felt since she could feel Jaehyun dig holes in her and Yuta’s gaze stare straight into her through the glass in front of them.

“Look at you,” he whispered against the skin of her neck, teeth digging deep, making her hiss and clench her legs as her hips pressed harder against him. “I can feel your desperate cunt drip down on me, do you need me that much?”

“Yes, fuck, please.”

A mocking laugh echoed in his chest. “No begging, kitten. It’s pointless, I won’t change my mind.”

She whined but kept moving. If that was the only way to get some kind of relief…

“Can’t you move faster? Are you already tired?” He asked, cupping her chin and squeezing hard as the other hand slapped the side of her ass cheek.

“No, fuck,” she moaned, squeezing her eyes shut before opening them again. “I can.”

“Then fucking do it. Don’t make me lose my patience and be good for me,” he whispered, letting go of her chin and wrapping his hand around her neck. She whined lowly and then started rocking back and forth faster, desperate to come and hoping that he wasn’t going to stop her right before reaching the high. And her heart beat louder as her clit kept rubbing against his thigh and she felt her insides twitch around nothing, leaking cum, pussy begging to be filled. It was a fucking torture and the fact she had to keep her eyes open and stare at herself in the mirror only made it worst. She knew she couldn’t last long.

“Are you close, kitty?” He asked with a teasing tone, hand caressing her waist and the other keeping the leash. “You’re whimpering and squirming as if your life depends on it,” he taunted, squeezing her side before his hand started going up and his fingers pinched her nipple, a high long moan ripping past her mouth.

“Isn’t she pretty like this, Jae?” He asked, eyes meeting the other man in the room who was fighting against his entire self to don’t come untouched at the scene in front of him. “Answer me.”

“Yes, she is,” he replied, voice low and hoarse and eyes fixed right where she was grinding on him.

“Do you think she deserves to come?”

“Yes, please,” she replied instead, and Yuta’s hand smacked her thigh. “I asked him, not you. Are you already so fucked out that you can’t even understand that?”

“No, no, sorry,” she wept, feeling her voice break and the orgasm so close. “But please.”

“If he doesn’t answer, I can’t let you come.”

She rolled her head back, whining loudly, hips faltering as she chased the pleasure desperately and at the same time tried to hold it in.

Jaehyun took some time to realize they were only waiting for his answer. And a part of him wanted to prolong her punishment, but her punishment was also his punishment, and he couldn’t stand it anymore. “Yes, she’s been good.”

“I don’t really think so,” Yuta replied, “but come, get off on my thigh.”

She felt embarrassment creep even more but couldn’t care less and with a few more thrusts against him, she finally felt the release she was yearning for. But it still wasn’t enough. She wanted him.

“Yuta, please,” she begged, hips stuttering for a moment before coming to a stop and her head rolled back to try to look at him directly. “Please, fuck me,” she whispered against his lips.

“You’re not giving up, I see,” he smirked, “but I’m not either. I want to have my gift.”

“Can you please set me free from this?” Jaehyun interrupted them.

“No,” he replied calmly but firmly, signalling her to lay at the edge of the bed.

“Please, I won’t touch her, I promise,” Jaehyun begged, the tip of his ears burning up in shame. He never had to beg for something, and yet, here he was.

Yuta sighed, but then walked over to him. He didn’t want to stand up later mid-fuck. “But you won’t touch her, promise?” He still made sure he wouldn’t try to gain control.

“Yes, I won’t. Come on,” the younger urged, and Jade giggled lowly at the scene, legs pressed together to try to make the ache fade. Once he was finally free, he almost moaned and wrapped a hand at the base of his aching cock.

“You can’t control me over this,” he said before Yuta could open his mouth, and the other simply shrugged before walking back on the bed.

Yuta’s body shielded hers as his legs and arms were placed at her side and he leaned down to kiss her, roughly and with need, and one of his hands moved on her body, making her shiver and whimper with every touch. “I really love this set, but I need them gone,” he said, tugging her panties away and then leaning down again. “What do you want, kitten?”

“You, please. I need you to fill me up,” she pleaded, big eyes looking up at him and hips bucking up to gain some friction.

Yuta snickered, sitting up, hand wrapping around his dick as he started to pump it slowly before pushing it against her entrance, tip teasing her slit and making its way in.

“Please,” she whined, hips lifting from the mattress, but he pushed her back down with his other hand.

He smirked before grabbing her ankles with one hand and the waist with the other, pushing her whole body closer to the edge, head falling free, dangling slightly. “That’s better,” he cooed, leaning next to her ear, and talking again before she could ask questions. “And now, I want you to look at the mirror while I fuck your little brain out, got it?”

“But —”

“But what? I’m sure more blood there might just turn useful, so you don’t turn like a brainless fuckdoll, don’t you think so?” He teased further, not giving her time to talk back and filling her up, balls slamming against the skin of her ass, and hands keeping her steady to don’t make her fall.

From the other side, he could hear Jaehyun mumble some curses along with muffled moans, but he couldn’t really pay attention to him. Yuta was completely focused on Jade, watching as her eyes rolled back in bliss and how hard she struggled to keep them open and keep eye contact with herself in the mirror.

“Can you see how pretty you are, baby?” He asked, right hand moving up to squeeze her covered boob, eliciting louder moans to spill out of her pretty parted lips, the beautiful brown nude lipstick adorning them at the start of the night by now completely smudged and gone. And he knew that soon the winged eyeliner and the mascara would’ve followed the same fate. “So fucking beautiful for me.”

She moaned something between a beg for more and praise for how good it felt, eyes looking up at Yuta from the mirror, and stomach already twisting in anticipation. The position was weird but at the same time it was so hot, the way he was holding onto her so tight so she wouldn’t fall but at the same time every hard thrust would push her closer to the edge, and now almost half of her back was hanging out of the bed. The fact they were so close and yet they were making eye contact through the mirror where she could perfectly see everything happening between them was turning her on like never before. And the lewd sounds coming from Jaehyun made her turn her head for a second and stare at him; desperately jacking off, fist so tight around his dick his knuckles were almost white, and his breath was so short as his chest panted heavily, but he kept his distance, only staring at them, almost in a trance as if he couldn’t tear his eyes off as he chased his orgasm desperately.

When a low chuckle rolled out of Yuta’s lips she turned back around, mouth already parting to form an apology that never got the chance to come out since Yuta grabbed her chin and pulled her head up to face him, now eye to eye. “Who’s the king of the night?”

“Y-you,” she mumbled, brain gone, hardly following him.

“Then, tell me,” he started, squeezing her face harder, “is it so hard to keep your focus on me?”

She shook her head. “N-no, no.”

“So, can you be good and only look at me?”

She hummed, unable to let out even the easiest word because this angle was making him hit the right spot so well that she felt her breath get taken away with every thrust.

He chuckled, almost tenderly if only he wasn’t blatantly mocking her, and let go of her chin, face bobbing back against the mattress. “Poor baby can’t even speak. Maybe you are just a little fuckdoll, aren’t you?”

She shook her head, lips parting to let out a strangled ‘no’ that rolled out with a high-pitched moan. Her lips moved again but without letting out any sounds, she didn’t even know what to say, as if there was something to say, as if she could lie and say she wasn’t enjoying this so fucking much.

“C’mere,” he ordered, one hand slipping behind her neck, pushing her up, almost bending her in two — god bless the three years of rhythmic gymnastics and herself for keeping her body flexible, or else she was really going to get split in two. “Open your mouth,” he ordered and she did, not wondering what he had in mind, and surely not even imagine that was going to happen. “Tongue out,” he said, and when her pink muscle stuck out, he spat on it, a thick string of saliva ran over her tongue and down to her throat. The knot on her stomach tightened at the unexpected act and she swore she almost came on the spot. “Swallow it,” he groaned, hand wrapped to force her mouth open and watch the blob going down. “Good fucking girl,” he praised, letting go of her head again.

She smiled, a fucked out smile, no trace of sanity anymore. And she let go of the sheets, nails finally stopping to dig into the material, and let her arms rest limply at her side, dangling in the air at the side of her head and her back.

And when she was completely gone in her world of pleasure, Jaehyun tried to touch her, his hands getting slapped away from Yuta before he could reach her.

“No touching, remember?” He said, voice stern and eyes looking down at him. And it was so strange; now, they didn’t exactly have these kinds of roles in their relationship but, usually, the one who tended to be more dominant was him, and now Yuta was bossing him around, and, on top of that, he wasn’t even allowed to touch her, and Jaehyun didn’t like to don’t have control over Jade in bed.

“I can’t take it anymore,” still, he whined, feeling his ears burn for how embarrassing all of this felt but he couldn’t last, and he didn’t want to jerk off as if he was watching porn.

“You can come,” Yuta said, intentionally ignoring what he meant.

“What the hell, not like this,” the other complained, trying to don’t look over at Jade and the way their cum was spilling out with every stroke and the droplets were slowly running on… oh, fuck, no. He shook his head, bringing his eyes back on Yuta’s face, a teasing smirk on it, that Jaehyun usually would’ve kissed away, but now he wanted to slap away.

“Be good and maybe later, you’ll get your gift. But keep in mind that tonight is not your night. If I feel generous, though…”

Jaehyun cursed, throwing his head back and falling on the bed, trying to hold it in. He could’ve, there was no way he was going to come just like that…

but maybe it was easier said than done because the more he thought the scene in front of his eyes couldn’t get hotter, it got.

Yuta freed her from the bralette and now her chest was exposed, boobs bouncing fast with his every thrust. And he basically couldn’t see anything of her from where he was, but the mirror showed her perfectly, body so pushed forward that her neck and shoulders were her support on the ground and Yuta fucked her hard, keeping her steady from her ankles.

Jaehyun groaned again, moving his body to the edge, there was no way he was going to miss her. Fuck, he thought when he saw her face. Eyes closed, lashes wet from the tears that started to spill out of her eyes, full lips partly open letting out chants of Yuta’s name. And no, maybe he wasn’t going to hold it in.

“Say it again, kitten,” Yuta ordered, one knee planted on the edge of the mattress while his other leg was now straight, feet against the floor to find the balance to keep fucking into her in that position, while one of her legs was over his shoulder and the other was falling slack pressed to her chest. “Say my name over and over. I want to hear you scream it, loud enough to wake the neighbourhood up.”

She nodded, feeling her lungs burn, trying to get his name out of her mouth in a tone that was louder than those mindless moans. And after tries, she managed to let out a higher pitch of voice, repeating his name over and over, begging him to give her more.

“Fuck,” Yuta moaned, throwing his head back to just let his ego boast up at her words, loving the way her cunt was clenching around him and feeling in heaven for how wet she was, so much cum already spilling out of her, making his cock slide in and out deliciously well. And when his gaze dropped on her face again, he knew he couldn’t last more, the way her glossy eyes were looking up at him, pleading, more than the words coming out of her mouth could, he lost it.

“Shit, shit,” he cursed, head dropping down, eyes squeezing. “Come,” he mumbled, now forcing himself to open his eyes again and watch as she came undone.

Finally, she thought, rolling her head back for what she could, back arching up even more as the orgasm exploded, shaking her body from head to toe, not able to shut down the incredibly loud moans that were close to screams, surely waking the others up —and probably the neighbours too— but it was so intense she couldn’t really bring herself to care.

More moans filled the room as she felt a hot liquid drop on her boobs, and, opening her eyes she could see Jaehyun hovering over her next to Yuta who was still fucking his cum deep into her throbbing cunt. His face was completely flushed, and she was sure she was never going to see him so vulnerable again and so out of control as he moved his hand on his length incredibly fast and let the hot seed fall on her chest, her open mouth to gather some of it was barely noticed by him, too lost in pleasure.

And when he collapsed back on the bed, she brought her attention back to Yuta, hips moving slowly against her, chest huffing, and hair covering a bit of his face that was still twisted in pleasure.

“Good, you were so good,” he praised, pulling out of her, cursing under his breath when cum started spilling out and rolled down on her tummy to her boobs. “Shit, that’s hot,” he moaned, tempted to push some out more and so he did, catching Jaehyun’s attention that crawled to look at the mess.

“Come here,” Yuta said soon after, scooping her up from the floor, and making her lay on the bed. And she sighed, finally a soft surface to lay on. “You took me so well,” he praised, kissing her softly. “But I think somebody still needs you,” he said, pulling away and looking over at Jaehyun…

“What are you doing?” The older asked when he saw him lay a little bit over her.

“I don’t think I can go for a round,” he admitted, face flushing bright red again.

His confession made the two prick up, and stare at each other with a confused expression. “You can’t go for another round?” Jade asked in disbelief. A smirk crossed her face, it was so unusual to see this side of him, no, correction, she never even imagined he had a side like this, he almost looked…

“Can you ride me?” He asked, voice feeble.

“You’re asking her to ride you? That’s a little bit rude,” Yuta said, after the way he had fucked her, how was she going to have the strength to ride him?

“Well, then we won’t fuck,” he huffed, rolling around. “Not my fault you drained me out.”

They both giggled, before crawling to him, turning him back around. “What are—” he started saying but got interrupted.

“I’m sure you can get hard again, right? You just want to be pampered,” Yuta teased, hand wrapping around his soft dick, catching him by surprise.

“What? No, I’m not like Taeyong.”

“Oh, please, shut up,” Jade said, shushing him with a kiss while her hands roamed in his hair. “I’ll ride you just like you asked, okay?”

He hummed against her lips, low moans coming out of his mouth as Yuta’s hand skilfully got him hard again.

“I knew there was no way you were going to sleep without fucking her,” Yuta chuckled. “You were looking at her all night waiting just for the moment you could have her, weren’t you?”

“I’m not a creep,” he replied.

“No, but she’s your girlfriend, and you two already planned this, just you didn’t quite plan for me to make you pay for it.”

Jaehyun wanted to talk back but somehow, he couldn’t. Nothing that made sense crossed his brain. And he wondered how it was possible, did somebody drug his drinks? Why did he feel so different tonight?

“You know what?” Jade said, bringing his attention to her back again, tongue running over his skin and nibbling his neck. “Don’t mark me,” he reminded her, and she huffed. “That’s what I’m saying, you think too much. Just let go.”

“But —”

“Shh,” she stopped him, pulling his lower lip between her teeth and then kissing him again, “just stop thinking.”

And he gave up, his shoulders dropped, letting them take care of him, for once enjoying the sensation of having hands all over his body, pretty much liking the fact he didn’t have to be in control. It was nice to know they both knew just what he liked, knew exactly where and how to touch him.

His head rolled back when Jade finally climbed on top of him and wasted no time slowing down on him, both moaning at the sensation of their bodies intertwining.

And before she could start moving, she felt Yuta’s hands wrap around her hips as he started guiding her movement, forcing her up and down on him how he wanted.

“Are you happy now?” Yuta taunted, running a hand through Jaehyun’s hair to push his head back, making him groan lowly. “She feels good, doesn’t she? So full of my cum, dripping out of her and making a mess on you.”

“Faster,” the brown-haired simply muttered, eyes half-lidded and lips parted to let out moans.

“Do you want to come so soon?” The older mocked. “Wouldn’t it be embarrassing to finish fast and don’t give her what she deserves?”

“Shut up,” he retorted, teeth gritted and eyes open to glare at him, but having no effect at all on his boyfriend.

Jade moaned louder when Yuta yanked her leash and pushed her toward him, kissing her roughly, as he kept making her bounce up and down on Jaehyun that was trying hard to replace Yuta’s hands on her body and fuck her onto him how he wanted.

“Stop being greedy,” Yuta scolded him, keeping her pressed against him, stopping her movements, the only thing giving Jaehyun a little bit of release was the fluttering of her wet walls around him.

“You —fuck— you edged me all night,” he cursed when her hips started moving in circles and her insides tightened around him.

They both snickered before Yuta finally gave up and let her move, but his hand was still wrapped around her leash and the other wrapped around her neck before running over her mouth, fingers slipping past her parted mouth and reaching the back of her throat, making her gag.

“Pretty,” Jaehyun praised, lost in the sight of her body moving on him, the string of spit that was starting to roll out of her mouth, and her fluttering eyes rolled back in pleasure.

“You chose the prettiest choker for the prettiest girl,” Yuta said, lips brushing against her neck, leaving small bites. “Should we get you another one and write our names on it, so you remember who you belong to?”

Her cunt pulsed harder at his words and that made Jaehyun buck his hips up, nails digging deeper into the skin of her waist.

“Yeah, you like that, baby?”

“Yes, yes,” she replied, throwing her head back.

“What do you think? Would you like to show her around with our names around her neck?”

“Fuck, yes,” he replied.

“Want to remind everyone how much you love her?” And he nodded, opening his eyes, to stare at them. “I think you’re not proving it to her enough, fuck her faster. If you know how to do it.”

Jaehyun shook his head, trying to regain the usual sanity that would always make him be in control, but somehow, the more he tried to grasp on that, the more it slipped away. But Yuta’s word made him lose his mind, he knew how to fuck her, exactly what to give her, everything that would’ve made her melt in his hands. He had her imprinted by heart, knowing her deepest secret, and he was going to prove it.

So something inside him snapped again, he didn’t flip her over but he pulled Yuta’s fingers out of her mouth, spit spluttering out as she coughed. But he didn’t give her time to recover that his lips were on hers, tongue slipping past her entrance in a sloppy and greedy kiss.

“Took you long enough to come back to earth,” Yuta snickered, letting go of her leash, the hold on it passing to Jaehyun who swiftly wrapped two turns around his hand and pulled her against him.

“Shut up,” he retorted after pulling away from the kiss.

“Fuck,” Jade whimpered, once again feeling overwhelmed by emotions, her hands moved up to try to steady on his shoulder, but he grabbed her wrist and held them together. “No,” she whined, letting her forehead fall backwards, meeting Yuta’s shoulder again.

“No, what, kitty?” He asked, grabbing the tie at his side and wrapping it tightly around her wrist bound in front of her. “Gonna use you till I come and I don’t want to hear you complain, got it?” He asked, hands now free to support her body and slam her harder onto him, using her like a fleshlight. “Will you be a good doll for me?”

She nodded, trying to don’t fall limply and stay up straight, but she was simply feeling boneless at their mercy. “Yes, sir. I’ll be good, a good doll.”

“Fucking —shit— perfect,” he groaned before wrapping a hand around her nape to keep her close to him and move her exactly how he wanted.

His eyes filled with lust as he stared at her, all the confidence she had before while teasing him, was now completely gone. And from the way she looked and moaned incoherently, there simply wasn’t a single thought in her mind at all.

“Pretty baby,” he kissed her, hand squeezing harder around her neck, lips parting more giving him more access. “Perfect doll for me, taking my cock so well. Do you like it? Like how much it —fuck— stretches you?”

Her eyes fluttered open when the hold on her neck loosened and she could breathe again and then nodded, eyelids closing again.

“Poor baby, can’t even talk,” this time the mockery came from Yuta, who was silently watching the scene, enjoying every bit of it.

She whined louder when his lips placed against her shoulder and started kissing her all the way to her neck and then one of his hands slipped on her clit.

“I — I can’t anymore,” she stuttered. “I can’t.”

“You promised you were —fuck— going to be good,” Jaehyun reminded her, cupping her chin, forcing her to stare into his eyes while his cock kept slamming hard inside of her, so deep she could swear he was almost hitting her cervix.

“I am, agh, I am,” she was practically weeping at this point, tears flowing down her cheeks, making even more of a mess on her face, whole body trembling in his hold, knowing that if he let go, she was going to collapse right there.

“Then keep taking it, come on,” he grunted, leaning close to kiss her. “Just some more. Keep —shit— keep squeezing me,” he encouraged. “Yeah, just like that, baby. Just like —fuck— that.”

Her heart swelled with pride, the praises getting to her head even more, but they weren’t enough to make it last longer. The warmth inside of her was getting unbearable and she knew she couldn’t conceal it.

“Please,” she whimpered, nails dragging against his abs, trying to touch him for what she could even if her wrists were bound.

And even Jaehyun couldn’t force it to last more, the way she kept clenching around him, the way he had been longing for this all night, the way her eyes were staring at him, and the way her lips were parted to let out the most sinful and soft sounds, pushed him over the edge.

“Come with me,” he breathed out, brows knitted together as his head crashed against hers and their bodies kept rocking against each other, riding out the high in that mess of limbs, sweat, and cum.

“Fuck, fuck,” he stuttered, hips twitching against her, feeling overstimulated, before rolling to the side and pulling out.

“Shit,” she mumbled, still trembling against him, the aftershocks of the orgasm still not slowing down.

“It’s fine, you’re fine. Come here,” he whispered, lips against her forehead, kissing her slowly. “You did great, such a good girl.”

She nodded mindlessly, finally feeling her body coming down from the haze and her breath calming down.

“Out,” she mumbled, pushing her hands against him. “Take them out, please.”

“Yeah, come here,” he said, gently holding her hand and freeing her wrists from the ties, massaging the marked skin.

“You did great,” Yuta laid behind her, fingers moving to free her from the choker, giving her full possibility of breathing now.

“I’m wrecked,” she said, exhausted, wanting to turn around but her body had no intention to move.

Yuta snickered. “So next time you learn plotting against me.”

“You enjoyed it, though,” she replied, smiling at him, running a hand in his hair after she managed to at least face the ceiling.

“I did. I’d probably enjoy everything if it came from the two of you, but you enjoyed it too, didn’t you?”

“Yep, but I need a massage,” she whined, hand moving to caress her neck, but to be honest her entire body was sore.

He smiled, looking over to see if Jaehyun was already dead asleep, and saw that he was awake, mindlessly playing with a strand of her hair.

“Let’s go take a shower now that we have a pretty bathroom?” He proposed. “I’ll massage you there.”

“But we are washing, no playing, please,” she said. “I can’t even walk.”

“I think we all had enough fun,” Yuta replied, lifting her in his arm and starting to walk downstairs where they had the biggest bathroom.

“And then we’re sleeping in your bed,” Jaehyun added, talking to Yuta, following him. “So we can fit with no problems.”

“If I want to sleep with you two, who said I want to.”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes and then addressed Jade, “We’re sleeping in his bed and he’s sleeping in the bedroom we just used, in the crusty cum.”

She giggled and Yuta playfully tapped her ass. “Stop backstabbing me like that.”

“Who’s cleaning it, by the way?”

“Jaehyun,” Yuta said, opening the bathroom door and placing her down on the seat inside the big open shower and then closing the glass behind when they were all in.

“Oh, come on, not now. Tomorrow.”

“What if the sheets stay stained?”

“We’ll buy another set. You seriously want me to start the washing machine now?” Jaehyun huffed, starting the water, and the other two burst out laughing.

“Why are you like this?”

“It’s so funny, we’re clearly messing up with you and you take us seriously,” Yuta said, pinching his cheek, making him pull back with a disappointing click of the tongue. “If you didn’t exist, they should’ve invented you.”

He huffed, glaring at Jade that was still grinning, resting against the tiled wall. “Come on, what’s with that long face? We’re just messing with you,” she replied.

“Fine, but,” he said, grabbing the bottle of shower gel to squirt a fair amount in his hands to start cleaning her, “now I’m serious, Yuta’s doing the laundry.”

“Taeyong will probably do his daily checkup and wake us up with a scream tomorrow, I think none of us will be doing the laundry.”

“Oh, thank God, you’re alone,” Taeyong huffed, bursting into Jade’s bedroom and falling next to her on the bed.

She looked up at him, phone falling to her side as her hand moved to ruffle his hair.

“What’s going on, prince,” she asked, immediately getting from the look on his face he wanted, no, needed, to talk about something that was bugging him.

He sighed again, rolling on the mattress, face staring at the ceiling now. He just couldn’t look at her. Honestly, he wanted to keep it to himself, but he couldn’t bottle it up anymore. He needed to talk with someone, and she was the only option.

“Babe?” She asked, turning to the side, head resting against the palm of her hand to support her upper body up.

“First of all, you have to promise me you won’t make fun of me,” he warned her, shifting on his side to look at her.

“Why would —”

“Just promise me,” Taeyong cut her off.

“Fine, I promise. What’s so embarrassing? You fucked up the laundry?”

“What? Out of all the people in this house, you think I would screw up the laundry?”

“Well, I don’t know. It’s something you’re so ashamed of, you definitely wouldn’t sleep at night if you did.”

“It’s not that,” he sighed, sitting up straight. “It’s worse,” he whined, hands covering his face.

“Is this about school? Did someone tell you something?” She panicked, fearing something had happened.

“No, worse.”

Jade furrowed, mind running fast trying to think what could’ve been worse than that. “What’s worse than that?”

“I think I feel something…” he mumbled, chewing the words up, and voice so low that she couldn’t hear the last part.

“What? I can’t understand you.”

He repeated that, but nothing changed, and she only guessed what he was talking about, but she needed to be sure.

“I can’t hear you, raise your voices, goddam!”

“I think I feel something for Yuta,” he repeated out loud exasperated and her jaw fell to the floor.

“You feel something for Yuta?” She screamed, sitting next to him, staring at him in complete shock. It was obvious how close they got but she never imagined like that.

“Shut up! Just lower your voice, Jade, fuck,” he rasped, slamming a hand on her mouth. “Keep quiet. I might’ve as well told Johnny.”

“Sorry,” she apologized. “I wasn’t expecting this. I was barely expecting you two to start getting alone, not even imagining this in my wildest dreams.”

“I know, neither did I, but he… ugh… he’s so, he’s so, ugh,” he muttered, falling against the mattress again and rolling so his face was hiding in the pillows.

“Hey,” she cooed. “There’s nothing wrong with this.”

“No, there is. I was doing just fine with the three of you, there’s really no need to add him too.”

She chuckled. “I want to know how it happened.”

“I don’t know,” he replied, eyes spying her and then looking away again, hiding in the mass of pillows. “But he… he’s so kind. He seems intimidating but he’s so fucking nice, I don’t know how he does but he always has a nice word for anything. But… we can also judge together, you know, not only in a gossip kind of way, but he’s also so open and when I’m alone with him I can never get bored.” He didn’t know exactly when he started to suspect that the way his heart would beat in his chest every time he was with him wasn’t so much in a friend-like kind of way. He didn’t know what changed that got him so worried when Yuta would go to his agency and come home later than usual. He didn’t know when he started to feel so comfortable around him and missed him when he wasn’t around.

“And he has the best smile ever, how do you resist it? It’s so unfair.”

“Why is it so bad?” She asked while her fingers ran through his hair, caressing his scalp softly, nails lightly scratching his skin just like he liked it when he wanted to relax.

“Because… there’s no way he likes me back like that, and there’s no way I can manage to date somebody else.”

“But why not? He likes you a lot, too. And you came so far with relationships.”

Taeyong sighed. “Look at how we started, would you fall for the one who wanted you dead for months?”

“You didn’t want him dead, come on, now.”

“No, but close,” he replied, rolling his eyes.

“Things changed, though. I didn’t welcome him in at the start and yet, we’re dating.”

“You two were giving each other heart eyes since the start, the only dumb ones not seeing it were you.”

“That’s not true, we were just friends.”

“Yeah, whatever. How do I push him away?”

“Why would you do that?” She huffed. Why couldn’t he just accept the good things life gave him and always had to make it tougher?

“Because… I can’t. I know I can’t.”

“But can you really avoid him? Can you pretend he doesn’t exist? Do you really want to ruin what you have once again?”

He turned around, back resting against the mattress, and now he could look at her. “Then what do I do? I don’t want to confess if he doesn’t like me back.”

She smiled, leaning down, leaving a small peck on his lips. “I’ll help you find out,” she winked and he smiled back at her.

“But if you tell anybody, I’ll kill you.”

“You don’t trust me?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know…”

She gasped, pretending to be offended. “You don’t trust me?” She exclaimed, starting to tickle him.

“Stop!” He screamed through laughs. “I do, I do trust you,” he said, and she stopped. The door slightly opened but they didn’t notice until that person came inside.

“What’s going on?”

Shit, Yuta.

Taeyong panicked, hoping she would come up with something before him.

“Nothing, he was just saying dumb things,” she lied, smiling at him. “Do you need us?”

“Mhh, yeah, Johnny wanted Yong to come down for something, he asked me to call him,” Yuta replied, confusingly staring at them. He didn't want to eavesdrop, but he had heard them talking about something that seemed quite serious. She was going to help him find out what? Anyway, he shook his head and moved to let Taeyong get out of the room.

“Is he okay?”

“Yong?” She asked, trying to play dumb. “Yeah, why wouldn’t he?” She asked after he nodded, hoping that he didn’t hear anything of their conversation.

“Oh, okay. He seemed a little bit off. I mean, even before, with me,” he said, still standing against the door frame.

“He did?”

“Yeah, lately, he’s been, I don’t know… You know what, let’s drop it.”

“No, no, tell me,” she insisted.

“One minute he’s fine and we’re together and then it’s like... he wants to slip away?”

She pretended to be surprised, lips parting ajar.

“I just hope he doesn’t hate me again. Maybe I did something wrong.”

“No, trust me,” she smiled, getting up to reach him, hand cupping his cheek to caress it. “Hate is the last thing he feels for you.”

“I bought something for us!” Jade chanted, entering through the front door with her hands full of bags, throwing the heels at the side —terrible, terrible idea, but hey, she had to use the Louboutin Johnny had gifted her— and running into the living room, where all the others were staying, television on, playing as background while they talked, waiting for her to come home.

“You bought the entire mall,” Jaehyun noted when she placed the bags on the floor next to the couch, wondering how she could even carry them all.

She chuckled, biting her lips. “And there’s also some other bags in the car.”

Jaehyun rolled his head back. “We can’t let you go out by yourself.”

“Come on, leave her alone. A little spoiling never hurt anybody,” Johnny said, waiting for her to get out of her cream-white coat to leave it at the entrance where they kept the hanging.

“Thank you,” she mumbled before giving him a kiss and then replied to Jaehyun. “Exactly. It’s our first Christmas together and I don’t want to hold back. Our house has to be the prettiest in the neighbourhood,” she said before grabbing two bags. “And I also want to have our own traditions,” a sly smirk crept on her face as she shook the bags in front of their eyes, now they were all sitting on the couch.

Yuta laughed, shaking his head. “If I guess what’s there, I get the prettiest.”

“Come on,” she replied, raising a brow.

“Those ugly Christmas sweaters or pyjamas.”

“Hey, they’re not ugly…” she whined, pouting, dropping the bags at her side. “Like, you guessed but at what cost?”

“I knew it, you’re so obvious,” he said, shifting in his place, chuckling lightly.

Johnny laughed at her offended face before saying, “come here, show us. She might be cliché, but she has an amazing fashion sense, so I hope that even now she got something cute.”

“Thank you for trusting me,” she replied, sitting on the floor in front of them. “At least one out of four.”

“I trust you, too,” Taeyong said. “Also aren’t they the best when they’re the ugliest?”

“Hey, it was never against her. I just said that, statistically, the chances of finding ugly prints are bigger than finding nice ones,” Yuta explained. Okay, maybe he also always hated those things, but seriously, they were incredibly ugly most of the time.

“But you’re talking to me, and I can always surprise. So, I decided to go for both. I agree, the sweaters are ridiculous, but I just couldn’t leave them there.”

“I bet Amita advised you for everything?” Jaehyun said, grabbing one of the bags, and starting to unwrap it.

“I also went there with Momo.”

“You went there with Momo?” Yuta asked almost choking on his saliva.

“Yeah,” she replied as if it was obvious. “We started texting each other, I told you the other day I went out with her.”

“Good luck to me, then,” he joked, head lolling back against the backrest.

“Can we see what you bought?” Taeyong said, jumping on the spot excited to see what she had picked. They had talked the other day about how they never had traditions back at home and how that was something they always felt was missing, so, even if he wasn’t showing it that much, he was head over heels for this idea.

“Yes, hun,” she replied. “Here are the sweaters,” she exclaimed, pulling them out of the bag that was placed on Jaehyun’s lap and showing the five woollen jumpers.

They all grabbed one casually, not caring to check the sizes, and she looked at them waiting for their reactions. And when they started laughing she gasped. “You’re doing it on purpose, come on!” She screamed but they didn’t stop.

“They are definitely sweaters…” Johnny joked, placing it on his knees.

“No, baby, we’re messing with you,” Yuta reassured her when he saw her get visibly sad. “They are lovely,” he said, grabbing her wrist and pulling her on his lap.

“You really thought we could hate them?” Jaehyun asked, turning around to caress her face.

“Yeah, none of you seemed excited,” she admitted, head still lowered.

“I would’ve asked for a divorce if you got those with jokes on it. Sorry, babe, but there, nothing would’ve stopped me,” Yuta joked, making her laugh and push him away.

“Also, you picked the red ones, they are definitely better than the green ones,” Johnny added. “Come on, let’s put them on,” he exhorted, getting up from his seat and getting rid of his beige sweater to replace it with the new one, red background with a gingerbread man in the middle, head and legs half-eaten, and then snow around it. Taeyong was the first one to follow him, jumping on his feet to get changed.

“You too, come on,” Johnny encouraged Jade to wear it too.

Once they were all done, she couldn’t help but smile. This was exactly everything she had been dreaming of her entire life, surely, she never expected it to be like this, but she loved it, more than any dream she had in the past. “We look cute in them, you can’t lie,” she said. “Also, I plan to use them when we prepare biscuits, so you see the reference with the gingerbread man,” she pointed out, voice overly excited.

“You have everything planned,” Johnny noted, looking at the other bags on the floor, wondering what else she could’ve bought.

“Every single thing. I want this holiday to be perfect, and I just want to be with you,” she confessed. “I bought the cutters for the cookies, I bought coloured sanding sugar to put on top, I bought more balls for the tree,” she would’ve kept going if only Taeyong didn’t stop her.

“More?” Taeyong asked. “We already have a lot.”

“Not enough, we’re going to get a bigger tree for the living room. Even though I was thinking we could put the other one on the other floor, maybe the first.”

“Oh Lord, help us, should we call Mister Christmas to set up the house?” Yuta kidded, but not even much. He knew how dedicated she could be to those things and honestly was scared that the picture in her mind was just too big for them to bring to life.

“Oh, no, don’t worry. She will have us working a weekend straight to set everything up,” Johnny reassured him with a fake smile on his face. “Just kidding,” he added, turning to look at her that was already glaring at him. “You know I love putting on the lights all by myself with no one helping.”

Jade rolled her eyes at him before sighing loudly. “You really don’t forget, I told you I’ll help you this time. I was thinking of replacing the light with the garland.”

“And we’re buying them, right?” Jaehyun asked, eyebrow raised, hoping she didn’t plan for them to decorate, and the expression on her face told everything he needed to know. She wanted them to decorate it.

“Thank God, it’s just the first week of December or else we’ll never get this done,” he joked.

“We will,” she reassured him, kissing him. “We went through worst things than putting on some decorations.”

“Are you sure about that?” This time it was Taeyong talking, watching as she tried to grab the other bags to put in their place what she had bought for the biscuits and other food she wanted to prepare and free the living room. She hummed, “You need to have a little faith, babe.”

“You still didn’t show us the pyjamas,” Yuta reminded her when she came back.

“Right,” she said, sitting on the floor again.

“You can come here on the couch,” Taeyong told her, patting the seat next to him.

“No, because from here I can see you all. And you can’t hate these ones,” she said, pulling them out of the bag, but they were folded into another wrap so they still couldn’t see. “These were expensive, I think they are the most precious pyjamas we own, so the first one who makes a disgusting face, sleeps on the couch tonight.”

They all snickered, waiting for her to hand them the clothes.

“Silk? You really outdid yourself,” Taeyong commented, grabbing his, feeling the expensive fabric. They were button-downs, smooth at the touch, of a deep red, with reindeer of different colours and with different details printed on top. It had a Christmas vibe but at the same time, it felt incredibly classy.

Johnny hit Yuta. “I told you she had fashion sense.”

Yuta hummed, honestly surprised she could find something like this. He loved it, and he never loved those horrible pyjamas in his entire life. “Guess that’s what happens when you date Taeyong,” he added, winking at the older, furrowing when he blushed and hid behind Johnny, but decided to shrug it off.

“So, are they good enough for our extremely hard-to-please high-class-model?” She teased, waiting for Jaehyun’s reaction.

He rolled his eyes. “I’m not hard to please, you should know it,” he winked, and she playfully kicked his leg. “Hey! You’re so violent.”

“You still didn’t answer me,” she pouted, ignoring his words.

“Of course, I love them. I loved the ugly sweaters what makes you think I don’t love these?”

“Good to see you all like them,” she exclaimed, finally at peace with herself. “Even you,” she teased, talking to Yuta. “Momo said that I would’ve never been able to make you wear one of those and I took that as a challenge.”

“She won’t like to hear how you didn’t even have to convince me, then,” Yuta said. “She doesn’t like to be proven wrong.”

“Neither do I,” she bragged, swinging her hips as she crawled to him. “So why don’t we take a picture and sent it to her?”

“Damn, that’s foul, baby,” Johnny said. “You came home, like what? Ten minutes ago, and already want to slap it on her face?”

“Yeah, and so what? She has to see the power I have over Mr. Nakamoto,” she joked, sitting on his lap again and cupping his chin to kiss him.

“This could potentially end your just started friendship with her, you know, right?” He kidded while he observed her leaning to the floor to grab her phone and he had to hold her by the waist to don’t make her fall.

“Nah, maybe she won’t stop teasing you for this, though,” she taunted, clicking her tongue, readjusting on his lap now that Johnny had helped her grab the phone.

Yuta closed his eyes, breathing loudly before pinching the bridge of his nose. “You two together will be the death of me, okay, I get it.”

The other three were staring at the scene while chuckling under their breath, pretending to be more interested in fixing the discarded papers and bags.

“I can see you,” Yuta commented, glaring at them. “Come here, too. We can take one together.”

“No,” Jade said. “First just me and you and then also one together. You’re not running away from the humiliation, baby.”

He sighed loudly but then gave up. Oh, fuck it, he loved that sweater, and he loved the fact that they all had it. It was the first thing that tied them all. They were all part of the same beautiful thing. And he never wanted to be part of something more than them.

So they snapped the picture, sweater in perfect sight and a smile on their faces and as soon as she hit ‘sent’ on Momo’s number after attaching the pic and writing ‘told you I can make him do anything’, the others surrounded them.

“Now it’s time for the family pic,” Johnny screamed, smashing them in a hug.

“You have the longest arms,” she said, passing the phone in his hands, so he could take them all in the frame.

“Ready?” Johnny asked, lifting his arm as far as he could, waiting for them to pose and when they nodded, he started snapping.

“Maybe we should print it and put it on that wall, kind of like the photo you had of the three of you in our old place,” Taeyong proposed while they skimmed through the pictures to see the ones that came out better.

“Weren’t we supposed to do it already with the one we shot in Greece?” Yuta reminded them.

“Yeah, but we never did,” Taeyong said. “Still, we could print both, we put this one in winter and the other in summer.”

“Yeah, free weightlifting for me,” Johnny joked, already knowing he was going to be the one putting the frame up and down from the wall.

“Why when there’s something to do you always act as if you’re all by yourself?” Jaehyun asked.

“Because it is, in fact, like this,” Johnny replied, glancing at him. “Be honest, none of you lifts a finger for the heavy stuff.”

“But it’s because you’re so strong,” Jade purred, caressing his biceps, and giving him doe eyes.

“I… you know what, I won’t comment on how much of a bootlicker you are,” he shook his head, waving her off with a movement of his hand.

“You just did,” she remarked. “But I’m right, you are strong, and also very attractive when you do those kinds of things, so why should I help you when I can just stare?” She teased, raising a brow and wetting her lips.

“Be thankful we’re not alone,” Johnny said.

“As if having somebody else in the room ever stopped you,” Jaehyun commented ironically.

“Yeah, but since we have so much to do, I don’t think a gangbang is what we need to do right now.”

“You’re so vulgar,” Jade replied, fake gagging.

“Me? Not you enjoying every single second of them when we have them?”

“We only did it once,” she reminded him. “Don’t paint me as if I’m so desperate.”

“Still, you love threesomes, and don’t deny that.”

“I loved them because when it was just the three of us, I could have the both of you. It was more practical.”

“You’re not seriously calling threesomes practical? Honey, it’s okay to be horny, we won’t judge,” Yuta chimed in.

“I didn’t deny that I like having them. I was saying another thing, but nobody understands me.”

“Babe, sorry, but how are they practical?” Jaehyun asked, watching curiously the drama unfold, but seriously not getting her point of view.

“That we put more orgasms and people together instead of spreading them during the day. I didn’t have much free time back then, so it was the most logical thing to do.”

“Oh, that was what you meant,” Johnny said. “Well… it’s not like you didn’t find time to also have us alone.”

She huffed, getting up. “Yong, come with me. I don’t want to talk to them.” But before Taeyong could follow her, Johnny lifted her from the floor, placing her on his shoulder.

“Johnny!”

“No, no, since today you think we are all against you, I’ll treat you like a princess. Tell me, angel, what do you want to do?”

“Put me down first, come on,” she whined, trying to struggle in his hold but then giving up. Maybe being carried around wasn’t so bad, if only he didn’t carry her like a potato bag. “Can we start putting on some decorations?”

“On December four?” Yuta asked.

“It’s weird she didn’t start as soon as Halloween passed,” Taeyong replied.

“You never told me you loved Christmas so much,” Yuta said, getting up from the couch.

“I’ve been romanticizing it for my entire life, and when I could actually live it how I’ve always wanted, I decided to make it everybody’s problem,” she replied, shrugging, still in Johnny’s hold.

��Fair. Let’s do it then.”

“Since you’re surprised by her obsession with Christmas why don’t you help Jaehyun go get the things from the garage, so the next step is a heart attack?” Taeyong suggested.

Yuta furrowed. “How many things do you have?”

“He’s exaggerating, we didn’t have much. But I did buy a lot of things today, so put me down and while they go there, we go to the car.”

“You left the car in the driveway?” They all asked.

“It’s my car, I leave it where I want to,” she complained once she hit the ground, and then walked to the door, once again forcing her feet in the heels so she could step outside.

When they finally had everything they needed, they started to part the boxes, separating the different decorations, trying to make a bit of order in that mess.

“How do you imagine it?” Johnny asked, starting to open the boxes with the lights. “Our old house was smaller than this, we could put much more.”

“I know, but I don’t want the effect to be too heavy. I know it seems I bought a lot, but most of the stuff is for decorating the wreath and the garland. I was thinking, one wreath on the front door, and another one over the fireplace, but that depends if we want to put our picture. If we go for our photo, we could make run one garland over the perimeter of the fireplace.”

“Yeah, I like it better,” Taeyong said. “And the tree?”

“In the corner, next to the window, so it’s also visible outside and we still have all the space to move around,” she explained.

“And she’s not an interior designer,” Yuta joked, he was almost expecting her to pull out a planimetry with every detail of how she imagined the house to look like.

“It’s the graphic designer disease, you know, all those hours listening about how you have to respect the spaces, the boards and blah, blah, blah,” she replied, still having nightmares from all the layout classes.

“Well, it turns out useful even for those things,” he replied.

“And the other one you got?” Jaehyun asked, lifting a longer garland.

“This one on the stairs, but I wanted to decorate it differently from the one on the fireplace,” she said. “Do you think it’ll look good if we intertwine these lights?”

Johnny grabbed the set from her hand, studying it for a moment. “Yeah, it’s the same thing we do with the tree but these go with the batteries.”

“Yeah, I didn’t know if we had a socket close to every rail, so I went for these.”

“Then, should we start decorating them? I’m sure it will take a while,” Taeyong said, already opening the boxes with the decoration she had bought.

“Let’s do it,” Jaehyun agreed, sitting next to Taeyong around the coffee table.

“Wait, turn the tv on so we can put on some music,” Yuta said, searching for the remote in that mess that was the living room… and they didn’t even start, yet.

And once they picked the playlist with the Christmas music, they sat down to take care of different things. Yuta and Johnny were opening one of the longest garlands to place on the banister, widening the branches to have space to wrap the lights around. While Jade, Taeyong, and Jaehyun were sitting around the coffee table, each one of them taking care of a wreath.

“Look at what I got,” Jade chanted, lifting five snowmen. “It’s us!”

The others turned around, beaming at her. “We look cute. Each one has a different colour?” Johnny asked, noticing the different hats and scarves.

“Yep, we can all pick who we want to be.”

“And that’s our house?” Taeyong asked, leaning forward to pick up the other small decoration in front of her, and she nodded.

“So that is going on the front door, I guess?” Johnny said, smiling at her, feeling his heart burst in happiness as he watched her happily swing her head to the beat of the music and try to place the different thing on the white wooden crown to see if she liked it before permanently sticking them with the glue gun.

“Of course, I want everybody to know this is our place, our home,” she replied, lifting her gaze for a moment to look at all of them.

This was real life. All of them, in their living room, spending time together, talking, laughing, and singing while they decorated their place.

They feared they weren’t going to be able to stick together even as a four-piece and yet, they were there. Proud and tall. All five of them. And sure, nobody last Christmas would’ve ever imagined this. Nobody expected somebody else to be at their side. But they wouldn’t have wanted to change a thing.

And they spent the entire day like this, stopping just for lunch to eat take-out —they weren’t going to add a messed-up kitchen to a messed-up living room. And by seven they had finished the living room and the entire length of the banister running up to all the floors.

“Well, maybe next time we should call for some help,” Yuta said, stretching his back, feeling sore.

“We still have tomorrow to do other things,” Jade replied, not feeling tired at all.

“I need to know where you get all this energy from,” he said, looking around to see that she was the only one that wasn’t half sleeping on the floor.

“It’s probably all the coffee,” Johnny joked.

“Coming from you,” she replied, rolling her eyes. “And no, maybe it helps a little, but I’ve genuinely never been happier than this,” she finished, sitting on Johnny’s lap on the floor, letting his arms wrap around her.

“Yeah, we can see,” Taeyong said, wide smile on his face as he stared at her in awe.

“I just hope you know I love you so much, like so, so, so much,” she added, snuggling closer to Johnny.

“I hope you know we feel the same,” Jaehyun replied.

Weeks passed in what felt like a blink of an eye, even if they all were super busy —considering the requests of their markets for the holiday— it still didn’t weigh that much. Because a heavy day at work was always followed by coming home to the others after leaving all the weight on their shoulders outside the door.

And this time of the year, coming home felt particularly special because as soon as they opened the door there was always some Christmas music playing, the sparkling lights on, colouring the living room, and food cooking on the stove, filling the place with its amazing scent.

When the 24th arrived, they were all sleeping in their big bedroom. The Alaskan bed was big enough to fit them comfortably, but they still snuggled against each other, leaving no room to move.

The light coming from the big side window woke Jade up first, eyes squeezing to adjust to it, as she turned around to look at them, still sleeping peacefully. Yuta at her left side, face pressed against the pillow, and lips slightly parted. She couldn’t see Taeyong, but his face was pressed against her back while his arms were tightly wrapped around her waist. And Johnny’s hand was also around her, his long arm stretched enough to hug both her and Taeyong.

“You up?” She heard Jaehyun whisper, head poking over Yuta’s, a small sleepy smile on his face.

She hummed, nodding at him. “Is it early?” She asked, not able to see the hour since the bedside table was too far from her.

“It’s around nine,” Jaehyun replied in a whisper to don’t wake them up.

“Should we wake them?”

“I think they might kill you,” he chuckled lowly. “Maybe we could get up and prepare breakfast?”

“Yeah, if I can get out of Tae’s deadly hold,” she joked, trying to move his hands away delicately so he wouldn’t wake up, and after some tries, she succeeded, so they got up and walked downstairs.

“Happy Christmas Eve, by the way,” she exclaimed, jumping on his back and leaving a kiss on his cheek.

“You are lucky I know you can do these things at any moment or we would’ve started the day with you rolling down the stairs,” he said, side-eyeing her after he caught her and was holding her up from her thighs. “But yeah, to you too, babe.”

“I know you will always catch me,” she smiled, letting her face rest against his shoulder. “What should we do?” She asked when they reached the kitchen.

“Let’s make crêpes and try to make funny shapes,” he said, after briefly checking in the fridge and cabinets they had all the ingredients.

“You have so much faith in us,” she joked, already imagining how ‘good’ their forms could be. “No, wait, I bought two medium cutters we can pour it in them, so they’ll come out good.”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” he hummed, putting the milk, the egg, the butter, a sprinkle of salt, and flour in a bowl before starting to mix it. Meanwhile, Jade prepared the crêpe pan, starting to heat it and spraying it with a non-stick spray.

After about ten minutes everything was ready and they started cooking. When they were done, they started decorating them with Nutella and powdered sugar, but just when they were about to put the plates in the trays to go upstairs, they saw the others walk into the kitchen.

“No, we wanted to surprise you,” Jade whined, shoulders dropping and smile fading.

“You did it anyway,” Yuta reassured, hugging her, seeing how pretty the crêpes on the plates were.

“Yes,” Taeyong cheered, pulling out a chair and sitting on it. “These look delicious. Also, no eating in bed, I don’t care that is Christmas.”

The other three laughed, and then they all sat together.

“We were kind of expecting to still find you there with us,” Johnny said, shaking his head to shake the sleep off his eyes, and grabbing a reindeer-shaped crêpe.

“We woke up before and thought of surprising you,” Jade explained, “Also, Taeyong was squeezing me to death.”

“Hey! I’m just showing you my love,” he defended.

“You left and he started hugging me. Not saying it wasn’t nice, but you could be less intense,” Yuta said with a light tone and Taeyong blushed so hard.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, hoping he was going to choke on the food because waking up snuggled into Yuta’s neck hadn’t been embarrassing but more. What made it worst was the fact that when they woke up he didn’t even pull away immediately, he kept hugging him as if it was normal, as if they were together too.

“No need to apologize,” Yuta reassured him. “It was nice being held so tight, since somebody,” he stopped, glaring at Jade and Jaehyun, “doesn’t hold me so tight even if they love me.”

“Because we cook for you,” Jaehyun replied, tickling him. And while they started to bicker playfully, Jade turned to Taeyong who was still dying from shame.

“You still didn’t talk to him?” She asked in a whisper, and he kicked her behind the table.

“Ouch, what the hell,” she hissed, fortunately not grabbing the attention of the other two who were too focused on the discussion of their love methods, but Johnny was staring at them with a confused, yet curious, smirk on his face.

“Mind your business,” Taeyong warned him immediately, shutting that conversation down. He surely wasn’t going to risk it all on the breakfast table on Christmas Eve. “By the way, the food’s amazing. You should do this more often.”

Jade rolled her eyes, stuffing her mouth with a bite. If he really believed that the conversation was going to die there, he was wrong. She had told him so many nice things Yuta had said about him and yet he wouldn’t confess.

“I already always cook dinner,” she complained, for now putting the topic to the side. “I’m starting to miss when Johnny would always cook for us.”

“Not my fault I spend all days out. I told you, you were going to miss it when I couldn’t do it anymore,” he reminded her.

“Yeah, you were always at our place,” Jaehyun scoffed, rolling his eyes, and the oldest glared at him. “It’s a joke, I loved having you around not leaving me a single moment with my girlfriend.”

“Did it really went like this?” Yuta asked, amused by their interaction.

They hummed and then Jade said, “it started as a Friday dinner together and then he just always had an excuse to be at our place.”

“Were you trying to get her?” Taeyong asked, cleaning his face with a napkin.

“I would’ve never done that,” Johnny replied.

“Until he did,” Jaehyun joked, but his tone was serious.

“Hey! It was her fault. Also, if I wanted to hit on somebody, it was you, until she took you away.”

Jade’s mouth hung open, pretending to be offended. “So now it’s my fault?”

“It is always your fault,” Johnny joked.

“Let’s be romantic and say it was destiny’s fault,” Jaehyun concluded.

“You don’t believe in those things, don’t try to be the bigger person now,” Taeyong said, chuckling.

“I was trying to be romantic. Also, I do believe in some sort of destiny, I guess.”

“Wait, jokes aside, how did you get together, like for real,” Yuta questioned, he knew she fell for Johnny too, but they never really explained how it happened.

“Do you really want to know the full story?” Johnny asked, and Yuta hummed. “Short version, a threesome gone wrong.”

“No, shut the hell up,” Jade stopped him immediately, making him laugh. “I will explain the whole thing because you can’t trust these two.”

“What have I done now?” Jaehyun asked, slamming his hands against his thighs.

But she simply waved him off and started to explain. And it wasn’t like there were still open wounds but, looking back at it now, it just felt so surreal to think how if only Jaehyun decided to stay in America, only God would know what all of them would be doing now. But it was also kinda crazy to think how they got here, from Jaehyun who didn’t even want to let Johnny in, to be in five was a lot. And he wasn’t the only one with doubts at the start, Jade was freaked out by everything, thinking that as much as her heart wanted to love two people, she wouldn’t have been able to take the weight that came with it, just to discover that love, if it’s right, doesn’t carry any weight and she was able to love even more than two.

And one thing led to another, they got to Taeyong. Thinking about how they all were terrified of losing him forever and now he was there, standing proud and tall, fully confident in himself with a brilliant career in a field not only he loved but he rocked. Taeyong himself would’ve never imagined this, living in such a place with the people he loved the most. He loved them. He was able to love, and people were able to love him back. He wasn’t bruised, or not worth it. But his past self had no idea that a stupid workshop would’ve led to this, and yet it did.

And Yuta surely wasn’t expecting to be there either, dressed in their beautiful matching sweaters while they prepared everything they needed to bake cookies. He never disliked the concept of a stable home and a committed relationship, but still, he never imagined he would find it so soon, and after everything that happened. They were in the kitchen of their home creating little traditions. He was dating two people at once. When he first found them out, he couldn’t understand how Jaehyun could love them all, but now he fucking got it and it was the best feeling ever. Because he had never felt so much love in his entire existence. He didn’t have to fight to have a place in people’s hearts, he didn’t have to fight to have trust, and he didn’t have to fight to make it work.

“Lost in thoughts?” Johnny asked Jade who was sitting on a stool, dangling her legs back and forth, gaze lost blankly, but in reality, she was looking at Jaehyun, Taeyong, and Yuta who were forming the shapes of the cookies, while she and Johnny were decorating them on the table.

She hummed, shaking her head, and then going back to do what she was doing. “I was just thinking about us,” she confessed, a small smile creeping on her face. “It had a strange effect going back in the line of our story.”

“Yeah, we’ve been through a lot,” he replied, a smile curling his lips too.

“Did you ever imagine being here? Doesn’t it feel too absurd? Too good to be true?”

Johnny raised a brow, turning around to glare at her. “Back at it again with thinking you don’t deserve good things?”

“No,” she replied immediately. “I’m past that, trust me. But I don’t know… I don’t want this to end, and I trust us, I know it won’t happen, after everything we’ve been through, I think that the only thing that can tears us apart is death. But we’re young, and other people our age are still breaking up and making up.”

Johnny chuckled. “I hope that won’t happen. People our age are also parents, some others are married, somebody else is single by choice. And we are in this. Just because we’re young, it doesn’t mean we’re not mature.”

“Oh, yeah, forget you are going for your thirty. Just ten years and you can be an honorary dilf,” she joked, and Johnny stained her face with the melted chocolate.

“Don’t,” she warned, facing him, seeing him ready with another finger. “No food fights. And that was a compliment.”

“Now you’re into dilfs? Lord, I thought I knew you, but you surprise me every time.”

“Sometimes the daddy issues take over,” she joked and, before he could realize, she dipped a finger in the chocolate and stained his face too.

He rolled his eyes and then grabbed her wrist and pulled her closer. “Thought you said no food fights.”

“We’re fair now.”

“Are you sure?” He asked, raising a brow and painting her face again.

“Johnny, no,” she cried but then shut up when his finger entered her lips, and she sucked the chocolate off of it. “Well, at least it’s good.”

“See, I just wanted to make sure it passed the taste test,” he replied before kissing her. “Also, before, I wanted to say that even if we’re young, we can still grow together, and considering the way we act, I really think we need to grow up.”

She laughed, sitting on the stool again, “For now, I’d like to be like this a little bit more. You know, unlike you, I am young.”

“You’re a brat, that’s what you are,” Johnny huffed, rolling her eyes. “Or you spend too much time on Twitter, in their mind, people start rotting at twenty-five.”

Jade snickered. “You know I mess with you. And no, I absolutely do not plan to be on Twitter, terrible memories.”

“Can’t blame you, to be honest.” He avoided going there as much as possible too, especially after everything that happened.

“We are already done and you two are just talking,” Taeyong complained, sitting in front of them, not so gently placing the last tray of biscuits on the top.

“We are working, and don’t act as if you three weren’t giggling and shit, we saw you and heard you,” Jade replied.

“We just need some help,” Johnny pouted at them. “Come on, so we can let them cook, and then we’ll start prepping for tonight’s dinner.”

“It seemed so easy when my mom was the one doing stuff during holidays,” Jaehyun said, and they laughed.

“Talking about moms,” Jade said, “shouldn’t we video call them? I miss them.”

“We will. Don’t worry,” Johnny reassured, there was no way they were going to miss the call with their parents, but before they needed to put themselves together.

“Do you think we will ever have a whole family dinner together? Like officially getting to know them?” Taeyong asked, still busy putting the topping on the cookies.

“They’re all dying to meet you so yeah, we just need to make sure we all will be here,” Jaehyun replied.

She smiled and then turned to Yuta, “Are you okay?” she asked, seeing that he was silent.

“Yeah, mhh,” he stuttered. “Do you think we can also call mine?”

“Of course, you don’t need to ask permission,” Jonny reassured.

“No, like, to let them know about us,” he specified.

“Are you sure?” Jade furrowed, knowing his fears about it.

“Yes. I’m pretty sure my mom kind of already got it there’s not only one person in my heart, I’m not really good at hiding my feelings. But I want you to agree. I don’t want to make it awkward.”

“You won’t,” Jaehyun assured. “We’d love to meet them.”

“Why are you dragging me here?” Yuta asked, not getting the urge behind Taeyong’s hold.

“I need to talk to you,” he said, pushing him inside the bedroom and closing the door behind. He had been thinking about this all day, mostly because Jade just wouldn’t stop reminding him about his stupid feelings, but —even if he didn’t want to— he had to agree with her. He couldn’t bottle it up anymore, and if he had to throw up before dinner and the video call with their parents, he would’ve done it because he had got rejected or mocked, not from the anxiety of keeping everything inside.

“Are you okay?” Yuta asked, seriously worried to see him like this.

“No, I’m not,” Taeyong replied, biting his lip nervously, and walking back and forth. “I’m not okay at all because of you.”

Yuta almost passed out. What the hell did he do now? Weren’t they fine?

“Did I say something I shouldn’t have? Crossed some line? I didn’t mean to, I—”

“No, I know you didn’t. You have no control over this, over me, over my stupid brain and my dumb heart, you… you just exist and make it hard for me.”

Yuta stared at him with wide eyes, feeling on the edge of tears. Why was he mad at him?

“I know you don’t feel it and I don’t even care you don’t, but I need to let this out, I need to let you know because the way I feel about you it’s killing me. And I hate myself for feeling like this, but I do.”

“You hate me?”

Taeyong rolled his eyes, he almost wanted to slap him. “I wish. It was easier back then, but I don’t. I… I,” he stopped, trying to look at him in the eyes. “I like you, Yuta. There I said it,” he said, turning around again, pacing in the room.

“You what?” The younger almost screamed.

“I know you don’t like me, not like that, and I know we will never date, and I don’t care, it’s fine. It’s totally fine, it’s not like it kills me seeing you get so touchy with Jade and Jaehyun, no, not at all. Just pretend it didn’t happen.”

When Yuta burst out in a laugh, he turned around, blood froze in his vein. “I confessed and you’re laughing? Like, uhm, okay not reciprocating it but there’s no need to backstab me?”

“I’m not laughing at that, honestly, I’m shocked about that. I just think you’re funny.”

“Funny?” He raised a brow, tilting his head to the side, feeling his heart clench.

“You criticize Jade for the way she deals with feelings and yet here you are, ranting no sense, telling me you like me, you’re jealous and then you’re not.”

“It will pass,” Taeyong shrugged, pretending he didn’t care.

“No, I don’t want it to pass,” Yuta said, walking toward him.

“You don’t?”

Yuta shook his head, hands wrapping around his waist. “I can’t say I love you, and I can’t even promise you we will be together but I’m glad you let me know. I like you. I actually found you interesting even when you hated me.”

Taeyong felt his heart flutter. “So?”

“So, we can see where this goes.”

“The thing is, I know I like you but I’m not sure I can date another person, you know. It’s hard for me,” Taeyong confessed.

“It’s the same for me, but well, it can be more platonic, right? At least for now. And then, who knows. Maybe we’ll become something else. What do you think?”

Taeyong smiled. “I like this, a lot.”

“Good. You scared me, by the way. Thought we were back to base one and instead, here we are.”

“You need to stop thinking I can’t stand you, like seriously. I was the worst version of myself, I’m not like this, not anymore.”

“I know, but you can be scary,” he giggled and Taeyong laughed too.

“Can you kiss me? Just to make sure that what Jade says about you is right.”

“Doesn’t seem very platonic to me, but I will. Let’s see if you kiss as hard as you hug.” It turned out that Taeyong kissed as hard as he hugged, almost as if he had to prove something, as if he needed to make sure the other knew how much he cared for them. Again, not something Yuta expected to happen, but this was so much better than crossing the front door of their old place with a heavy heart, terrified of his bitter remarks or glares. This was home, it felt like it even if there wasn’t love between, or well, not the kind of love that people consider romantic.

And when they came back downstairs, the table laid and phones ready to start video calling their parents, the other stared at them with a furrowed expression but didn’t say a thing, they didn’t need them to tell what happened to know it. It was clear in the light blush on Taeyong’s face and the way their hands brushed against each other every time they were close.

When the clock hit midnight, they were already changed in their pyjamas sitting on the big carpet in the living room while they were playing board games —almost killing each other— while eating the biscuits they baked in the morning.

This was home, with gifts’ papers scattered on the floor, a bottle of champagne halfway finished, a random Christmas music festival playing on the tv, and them singing songs, forgetting most of the lyrics, going on like this until they almost fell asleep on the carpet of the living room. And surely, they didn’t go out or were with their families, but at least they had each other.

And considering how they started the year, this year, still being together, was the best Christmas gift they gave to each other.

Snow was falling heavily from the sky, lending on every being in the crowded city. It was December 31st and Jade was lost, looking outside like a child following with an enchanted gaze the path of the soft and icy flakes that pirouetted in the air. Two strong arms wrapped around her waist and a chin rested in the hollow of her right collarbone. She could recognize that touch in millions of others, Jaehyun.

“Remember that winter we went to the park and played snowball fight with kids?” He asked, fingers slipping past the band of her sweater to caress the skin.

“When we came home completely drenched in water and almost risked hypothermia? Mh, yes, I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.” It was their second holiday together, the year after he confessed to her, and they had nothing better to do since they were the only ones stuck there; Jaehyun had decided to don’t go back to his family because he didn’t want to leave her alone. And for some reason, going to the park to play with kids seemed like an amazing idea.

Jaehyun chuckled too. “We had fun, though.”

“We did,” she smiled, turning around, back facing the window and arms wrapping around his shoulders.

“We should do this again, all together, you know,” he proposed, lifting a hand to caress her curls out of her face and tuck them behind her ear.

“Maybe tomorrow, we don’t have time now. Johnny surely will start nagging about how he needs help to finish preparing for the party and…” right before she could finish, Johnny did exactly that, screaming from the kitchen that he was always left alone when there was something to do.

They burst out laughing. “I told you. I know him too well by now,” she laughed.

“Well, since we’re doing nothing, we might as well go help him.”

“So somebody hears,” Johnny said when he heard footsteps approach, and maybe it sounded crazy but he could tear all of them apart even without looking back and seeing the two youngest stand behind him.

“We told you,” Jaehyun replied, coming to stand by his side, “we hear you, we just choose to ignore you.”

“But this time you didn’t.”

“New year, new us, or whatever,” Jade joked. “And maybe, next year, you’ll listen to me when I propose to call a catering company.”

“No, it’s our first party, I want to do this myself,” Johnny insisted, and Jade rolled her eyes, giving up and starting to help him with the glasses, plates, napkin, and so on.

“Since you want to do this yourself, we can go,” Jaehyun kidded, trying to step back.

“Get out of that kitchen and you’ll sleep outside tonight,” Johnny warned, terrifying spatula in hand, pointing at him.

“Fine, fine, I’ll help.”

“Good boy,” Johnny praised, and he huffed, making them laugh.

“He’s starting to accept being called a good boy, he would’ve complained and menaced to kill me,” Johnny said to Jade, acting as if Jaehyun couldn’t hear them.

“I have a threat hanging on my head now, I can’t risk it.”

After some hours everything was ready and they were all dressed up in their pretties red clothes, nothing too fancy but not even casual, and around nine, some of their friends were already crashing in the living room.

“Can’t believe we can finally invite people over, like, they have a place to stay now,” Jade chuckled lowly while they excused themselves in the kitchen for a second, excitement filling her veins at the thought of hosting their first party.

“See, I told you, you weren’t going to miss our old place that much,” Johnny replied, laughing, and then laying against the table, pulling her close to him.

“I do miss it a bit,” she answered.

“Yeah, when it’s time to clean the house and it takes us days,” Taeyong replied, giggling.

“Well, but at least this place is ours,” Yuta said, coming to stand next to Taeyong, a hand wrapping around his waist as the older leaned back against his chest. “We can do whatever we want.”

“Yeah, and one of us,” Taeyong said, eyes searching for Jaehyun’s that was fidgeting with the pocket of his pants, “should do something, right?”

The younger sighed, holding back the impulse to run a hand in his slicked-back hair, not wanting to ruin the comma hairstyle that Jade gave him.

“What should I even write?” He asked, pulling out the phone with the Instagram app open. No, he never dared to publish anything, no matter how much people —his partners included— asked for that, but how could he back out, now? His lovers were asking him to normalize what they had and he couldn’t don’t do it for them.

“What you feel. Your past posts about New Year were pretty bland, to be honest,” Taeyong joked, reminding his short emotionless caption.

“I had nothing to say, that’s why.”

“But now you do, we did some great things this year,” Johnny remembered him.

“Okay, but let’s pick the photos first,” Jaehyun said, turning around so they were all facing the same way and could look at the screen in his hands.

“The one we took at Corfù as the first one,” Taeyong told him. It was a picture they took when they visited Sinarades, a small town with typical old houses and a folklore museum. And right in front of the museum they decided to snap a picture, things still weren’t back to their place completely, but he loved that photo because they were all smiling and were close to each other, and also that had been one of his favourite day from the vacation.

“I agree,” Johnny commented, “we should start from the start of good things.”

“Fine and then?”

“This one,” Jade said, finger scrolling on the screen until she found her favourite one. It was a picture Johnny took of the four of them, tired on the floor with boxes from the old house everywhere and sweat pearling their skins.

“Yeah, took that to remind you, you should listen to me when I say to don’t move in during summer.”

“We had no choice,” Yuta whined, rolling his eyes.

“Whatever. I pick this,” Johnny said, it was their first selfie, a picture of them on their couch, submersed with blankets while they watched a movie.

“My birthday pic, sorry but we looked amazing that night,” Yuta chose, index finger selecting a black and white photo of them sitting at the round table.

“Hey, we forgot our first public date,” Jade said, scrolling to the picture of them standing in front of the Thames, it wasn’t their best picture, the darkness of the night made it come out with a rather low quality, but she liked it anyway. It was the night where they celebrated a new beginning for everybody —and found a new favourite place to go.

“Then put these,” Yuta said, selecting the selfie with the sweaters, a photo of them in the mess of the kitchen while they prepared the biscuits, and then one pic on Christmas day wearing their matching pyjamas.

“And last,” Jaehyun said, selecting a picture of them from today, “this one we just took.”

“Great, now can we get romantic?” Johnny encouraged him.

“Romantic? You want me to write down something? What about the song lyrics or the poem?”

“Really? Come on, you can say something more than that.”

“I can’t, I don’t know what to say,” he huffed, looking around to find their faces.

“We can’t write it at your place,” Jade told him. “Just let it out, I know you have things you want to say.”

He sighed but then started typing.

_jeogjaehyun: I usually don’t do things like this, come here and share about my private life. Mostly because I had to keep it a secret from the world, and when this little bubble exploded, it shattered me. I could lie and say this year was amazing, as if I didn’t fear losing everything I had. But the truth is, I’d probably lie even if I said that this year sucked.

Yes, it was awful, and yes, we’ve been through so much. But these four amazing people taught me that the sun will always shine in the sky if you can wait for the long night to pass. They taught me that together we can walk through an avalanche and still stand strong after.

And that’s exactly what we did. We started living once again, and it wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. They are not my secret anymore, and even if I wished it had happened in other ways, I’m glad I don’t have to hide them. Yet, I want to protect what we have from harsh words and speculations, and rumors. But we’re cute, and I love them dearly, and if my end-of-the-year recap has to be about something, I want it to be about them, the only ones who stayed by my side despite everything.

So even if this year was full of hardships, I want to end it like this, reminding myself that all’s well that ends well, to end up with you. @.fearlesslyjade @.johnnysuh @.taeoxo @.yuu_taa_1026

“So… what do I do?” Jaehyun asked his partners who looked like vultures around him.

“Hit send, dude,” Yuta urged. “You were supposed to do this ages ago.”

“Yeah, come on, we might as well ruin some delusional snake New Year’s Eve celebration,” Taeyong said.

“Since when you’re the mean one of the relationships? That’s my spot, you can’t steal it,” Yuta complained.

“Staying with you is ruining him,” Johnny intervened, “but yes, come on, publish it so we can all like it.”

Jaehyun hummed and then turned his face toward Jade. “You?”

“I was the first one who told you to publish something about us, go on.”

Jaehyun nodded, fingers shaking before he finally pressed post.

“Finally,” Johnny exclaimed, already with his phone in hand on Jaehyun’s profile, waiting for the post to appear so he could like it.

“You are something else,” Jaehyun whispered when he turned around and saw all of them doing the same.

“We gotta show them we’re your biggest fans,” Taeyong said before he jumped off the table and kissed him. “And we look super cute, I wonder who’s the magic hand behind these pictures,” he joked, pointing at Johnny with his head.

“Me, modestly. You should be grateful I don’t make you pay,” Johnny replied before grabbing Taeyong’s hand, which grabbed Yuta’s, and walked back into their living room, they couldn’t leave their friends alone.

“See, it wasn’t that hard,” Jade whispered to Jaehyun, leaving a peck on his cheek and massaging his shoulders. “Please, relax. Remember what we said? No more hiding,” she said, moving his chin with two fingers so he would look at her.

“I know. I don’t want to hide you anymore. You know why this gives me anxiety; I can’t stand the comments.”

“I know, but what have we decided to do about them? Ignore them. They are not worth our time. Focus on the good, Jay. Us, our home full of our friends waiting for us. We are loved, more than you think, nothing will break us down.”

“But you and Taeyong.”

“I’m fine. I know my worth, I pulled four 10/10 and you think I still question my attractiveness,” she joked, but she seriously had learned not to care about what people thought and worked on herself. “And have you seen Yong? I think spending time with Yuta is turning him into the baddest bitch ever. He doesn’t take shits anymore, he stands up for himself, and he knows his value. We are past the hurt.”

Jaehyun nodded. She was right. He was being paranoid for no reason, and still, she was the only one who could calm him that easily. So he kissed her, pulling her close to him, feeling all the weight on his shoulder disappear.

“And now, let’s be good house hosts,” she smiled when they pulled away, grabbing his hand and intertwining their fingers before walking into the living room to the others.

The Christmas lights were still on, adorning the place and creating a cosy atmosphere while their friends were scattered in the living room in small groups, getting to know each other, and music was playing just to fill the place and don’t overshadow their voices.

“I’m going to be completely honest with you,” Jade turned around from the big table where she was fixing some plates that had been used, to stare at Amita who had reached her, silver dress around her body and glass in hand. “I can’t believe y’all made it work.”

Jade chuckled, shaking her head. “I thought you were supportive.”

“I was. I mean, I am. But I’ve known you for ages, and never in my wildest dreams I’ve imagined you were going to let yourself get caught in something this big,” her friend explained, pulling her long ponytail to the side. “Something beautiful, indeed, but how is it not hard for you?”

“I think that since I stopped sabotaging myself things worked easily for me,” Jade replied, getting what she meant. She felt the same when they started, so it wasn’t surprising that the person who knew her the most after herself wondered how she could do it.

“If only you listened to me before.” Amita hit her arm playfully, making her flinch.

“I’m not listening to your ‘I told you so’ talks, not tonight, Ami,” she joked.

“I won’t give it to you tonight,” she reassured and then started wiping fake tears. “You’re all grown up now, my baby girl is throwing parties and is in a stable relationship for years.”

Jade rolled her eyes but then hugged her. “You know I love you, right? I wouldn’t be here If I didn’t have your support for everything.”

Amita wanted to be playful as usual and brag about her importance in her life but couldn’t, maybe it was the mood of everything, or maybe it was that they rarely said those things out loud, and so she nodded, smiling at her friend. Pride filled her heart to see how far she had come, how she had turned into a beautiful and strong woman who finally knew her value and found love and support all around her.

“It’s the same for me,” she replied, caressing her cheek. “I’m glad we didn’t lose each other with the years.”

“You can sleep at night, you won’t get rid of me,” she replied, chuckling, and then turned serious once again. “And, talking about not getting rid of me,” she started saying, suddenly feeling nervous. She had been thinking about this since Johnny put it in her mind, and yes, it was a big step, but if she had to do something so big, she wanted her best friend by her side. “How would you feel to have our graphic studio?”

Amita’s eyes skimmed on her face, trying to see if she was joking, if she understood wrong, or if her friend was seriously proposing what she imagined.

“You want to open a studio? With me?”

“Yeah,” she said, grabbing her hands in hers, “Johnny has a free floor on top of him and he proposed to open it there and also have collaborations with his studio. I think it will be a little help to start brand new.”

Amita felt like passing out. Opening a studio was her dream but she could never open one, so working in an agency had to do, but this? This opportunity with her best friend?

“And you want me? Like are you sure?”

“I wouldn’t want anybody else in the world,” Jade said. “So, are you in?”

“Yes,” she screamed, making some people turn around and she just waved them off. “And when are we starting? Is this part of our new year resolutions?”

“Breath in, please,” Jade said, giggling. “I still have to discuss with Johnny but everything’s in the family and you know you’re more than welcome here anytime, so we can meet up whatever we want and plan everything.”

“I can’t believe this is happening with you!” She squealed, launching in her friend’s arms and hugging her tightly.

“It’s real, babe,” Jade replied, hugging her back.

“There’s a lot of happiness flying around here,” Johnny’s voice ringed in their ears when he reached the two women and his hands wrapped around his girlfriend’s waist.

“Well,” Amita started, looking at her friend to ask her for permission, “can we tell him?” Jade nodded, smiling brightly.

“We want to open the studio with you,” she exclaimed and Johnny was truly surprised.

“You want to do it in the end?” He asked, looking at Jade for a moment.

“Yes, I thought about it a lot, but I needed to make sure Amita was in, too. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”

“I love it,” Johnny replied, truly happy she had accepted. “Then the only thing left to do is organize everything, right? Oh, and find a name.”

“We’ll think about it. Back in college the only thing we were good at was giving names to projects,” Amita joked, and Jade laughed, agreeing. “By the way, thank you for this opportunity,” she added, talking to Johnny.

“It’s nothing,” he smiled. “You two deserve the best,” he said seriously before jokingly adding, “And also I just needed another chance to spoil this little one.”

“I need to find a boyfriend like you, then,” Amita kidded, caressing his arm and Jade shook her head.

“I already share him with too many people, I’m afraid you’ll need to find another one.”

Hours passed by with more talks, laughs, and games and, before they noticed, it was almost midnight, so they shut the music and turned on the tv, putting on a music festival so they could see the countdown to the new year.

Jade, Jaehyun, Johnny, Taeyong, and Yuta walked closer in the middle of the living room, and wrapped their arms around each other, feeling their heart pump louder in excitement while they screamed the countdown.

3, 2, 1.

The noise of the fireworks colouring the night sky of London resonated against the windows of their house, mixing with the screams that came out of the mouths of the people in the room, at least those who weren’t busy kissing anyone.

They were lost in their bubble, taking turns to kiss each other, and then staying all hugged together in a tangle of limbs and skins as they felt like they were floating in the sky.

They had made it. Somehow, they made it out alive from that year, and they were all standing at each other’s sides.

“Happy new year to us,” Jade was the first one to say it, her usual bright smile on her face and her eyes slightly glossy. She didn’t want to cry but she felt so overwhelmed by emotions. It was so surreal to be there and feel so much love, not only coming from the people she dated but also from all their friends.

Her New Year’s Eve used to be terrible most of the time, just one glimpse of happiness before her parents started acting all the same and all her hopes for the coming days crumpled apart a few minutes after midnight. But now it was different.

“We need to come up with something special just between us,” Taeyong said, smiling brightly at the others.

“Like a greeting or something?” Yuta asked.

“Yeah, something like that,” he replied.

“You’re my midnights,” Jaehyun said, after zoning out for a moment.

“Your what?” They asked in unison.

“My midnights,” he repeated, smiling at their confused expressions. “I kind of wrote that before. Let’s turn it into our thing.”

“Like a promise?”

He nodded. “To always be there for each other in our midnights, whether they’ll be beautiful and sparkling or our worst times. We already proved it to each other, didn’t we? You were the only lights that shined on my darkest nights,” he explained, feeling his heart jump in his throat but then calmed when a smile crept on their faces. “Let’s promise to make it work, forever, every midnight from now on.”

“I like it,” Taeyong hummed happily, eyes curled up in a smile.

“I should’ve expected something so romantic from the three of you, but not from our peach,” Johnny joked and Jaehyun simply giggled. “But I like it too.”

“Yeah, the holidays changed him,” Yuta joked. “But I love it.”

“You’re my midnights,” Jade repeated. “It sounds good. It sounds like something we would definitely say.”

And when midnight passed Jade was looking around; the living room was a mess, the confetti thrown during the party were scattered everywhere on the ceramic floor, some heels were laying abandoned on the floor next to the couch, and the polaroids, picturing their happy faces, kisses, toasts, and more, were on the big table and on the furniture in the living room.

And she thought how absurd it was that the people portrayed in those photos taken a few minutes earlier, were already no longer there. And it was in that instant, that she felt struck by a strange wave of melancholy. But this time no fear of losing who she loved the most assailed her. Time didn’t seem so scary anymore. Time meant growth, time meant healing, new adventures, and more love. The future wasn’t scary because now she knew what it looked like, and it was them. So she jumped from the seat on the couch and ran toward Johnny, her heels no longer on her feet too.

“Hey, babe,” he said when she touched his arm.

“Can we do a thing together?”

Johnny raised a brow, trying to guess what she wanted but he couldn’t get anything, in her voice, there was no sign of sexual innuendo and she almost seemed… insecure?

“Sure,” he replied, even if he had no idea what she wanted. And when her hands grabbed his, and she carried him to the piano in the room, he only imagined she wanted to sing something. They struggled for a while as she showed him the notes and told him she tried to practice a little bit before doing this, but, obviously, wasn’t as good as him or Jaehyun.

“Want me to present you?” He asked, watching as she embarrassingly cleared her throat and tried to gain the attention of those in the room.

“No, thanks,” she reassured him before bringing her attention to the crowd of people who were all smiling at her, her lovers in the first row. “I’m not a singer as you know, and I can’t promise to be good at this but I… I wanted to sing you something,” she finished only looking at Yuta, Taeyong, and Jaehyun and then smiling at Johnny once she sat down again.

“Also, we didn’t practice so we might miss some notes while playing,” Johnny added, eliciting a low laugh from everybody. “You ready?” He asked in a whisper, only for her to hear, and when she nodded, their hands started to move on the black and white tiles, music filling the room immediately.

“There’s glitter on the floor after the party,” she started singing, a small smile on her face, “girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby. Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor,” she paused, eyes looking at them, “you and me from the night before, but… don’t read the last page, but I stay when you’re lost, and I'm scared, and you're turning away. I want your midnights, but I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year’s Day.”

It was a promise she was doing to them, the same one they forged before; forever. And maybe in ten years, or more, there wouldn’t have been more parties like this, maybe their matching outfits wouldn’t have fitted anymore, and probably they would’ve been too tired to bake cookies all morning, but it didn’t matter. Because she just wanted to know they were still going to be there, side by side.

“You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi, I can tell that it’s gonna be a long road,” she sang, another soft smile on her face, while her mind replayed memories of each of them having their own way to calm her, no matter how bad she would feel. “I’ll be there if you’re the toast of the town babe. Or if you strike out and you’re crawling home,” she looked at them again, while her hands brushed against Johnny’s. No more thinking they were deserving of love only when they functioned to the fullest. No more thinking they weren’t enough to be there, in their happy place. She would have been the shoulder to cry on and the name to call when they felt lost and felt the need to go home, whether it was to celebrate or cry all night.

“Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you,” she repeated three times, voice ready to break, coming out almost like a plea. She was begging them to never forget her, and what they had. She was begging them to keep them in their memories because one day they will be nothing more than those polaroids that now covered some surfaces of their home. Time will take away the youthfulness of their faces, leaving white snow in their hair and furrows on their faces, indelible signs of a lived existence. And the only thing that time won’t take away from them were memories, and even if she truly believed the future was bright, she still wanted to cherish the happiness of the past.

“And I will hold on to you,” she sang, staring into their eyes, even Johnny’s as their hands stopped playing just for a brief moment. She surely wasn’t letting go of the best things that happened in her life, she was going to keep fighting for them with all her strength.

And her voice struggled to come out, so Johnny helped, backing her up, as they started to sing together, the whole room fading in the back of their minds, as only the five of them existed. “Please, don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere. Please, don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere,” she felt tears wet her cheeks as the tiles doubled. And she didn’t expect Taeyong to sit next to her, squeezing her closer to Johnny before he started singing too.

“There’s glitter on the floor after the party. Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby. Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor,” Jaehyun and Yuta walked toward them and stood behind them, hands on their shoulders, as they sang the lyrics from the sheet. “You and me, forevermore.”

“Don’t read the last page, but I stay when it’s hard, or it’s wrong, or we’re making mistakes. I want your midnights, but I’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year’s Day,” this time they were promising this to her, since her voice had no more intention to come out and she surely couldn’t keep going, and Johnny’s hands played alone on the piano, bringing the song to an end.

And most of their friends were almost crying or were feeling emotional in front of the scene, but they didn’t pay attention.

“We won’t become strangers you can recognize anywhere,” Taeyong assured her, lifting her face to leave a kiss on her lips.

“Yeah, I think you can be quite sure about that,” Yuta said. “I don’t think we’ll ever find somebody else who will start the new year singing and crying for us.”

“I won’t humiliate myself like this again,” Jade said, laughing and throwing her head back so she could see the two men behind her.

“You actually have a beautiful voice,” Jaehyun said while his hand caressed her scalp softly.

“And you learned swiftly to play the piano,” Johnny added, honestly, he expected much worst for a first-timer.

She chuckled and then straightened again. “I just wanted to do this stupid thing for you. I can’t really say those things out loud, but the song explained perfectly what I meant.”

“We know, we feel it too,” Johnny said, placing a hand on her back. “I wouldn’t mind if you did this every year, maybe to lull us to sleep.”

“Oh, no. No more lullabies in my life for a while,” she joked, standing up from the seat with Yuta’s help before they all wrapped her into a hug.

When it was past two, most of their friends were already back at home, while some others stayed for the night, but they still couldn’t fall asleep. So, they decided to start clean up a bit.

Once they were overall done, Yuta caught their attention. “I have a little thing for you, too,” he said, entering the living room with a small bag in hand. “I wanted to give them to you at Christmas but then I waited.”

“Is it a gift?” Jade asked curiously, sitting on the couch, followed by the others.

“Yeah, I wanted to have something that united all of us,” he explained, grabbing a chair and sitting in front of them, “and I thought this could be a good idea, considering we can’t get married.”

“Oh my,” Jade whispered, covering her mouth. “Is it what I think it is?” She asked, voice shaking, almost crying.

“Well, I don’t think that this time is like your sweaters,” Johnny joked at her side.

And Yuta hummed, pulling out of the bag a small blue box, holding it in front of her, but he was talking with everybody. “I know we will never be together legally, and I don’t even care about it as long as I can have you by my side. And I also know I’m not dating all of you, but I really love what holds us together. I like the way we come together even if we couldn’t be more different than each other and I like the way this feels like home. And you taught me that love is something beyond what we’ve been told all our lives. You taught me that love can be strong even when it gets rough. You taught me that not being the only one in your partner’s heart doesn’t always equate to less love, but in our case to more,” he stopped for a second, struggling to find the words to say.

“I would’ve never imagined being here, asking all of you to accept this gift that will tie us, even if it’s just in our hearts. But here I am, letting you know that I don’t care if our names will never appear on a marriage register, or that society will never accept us. I have you, and all I care about is what we feel for each other.”

Jade was by now a crying mess, moving her hands to reach the others’ and hold them tight. But the others felt the same in their hearts even if they weren’t showing it that much. Not only they weren’t expecting something like this, especially coming from Yuta, but they completely agreed with him.

“So, would you accept this?” Yuta asked, opening the little box in front of her. An elegant silver ring with five stones, their birthstones, engraved in it. The purple of the amethyst at both ends, and then the red of the ruby, the pink of the tourmaline, and the blue of the aquamarine in the middle. “Would you want to officialy be lovers?”

“Yes,” she replied, giving him her shaking hand, waiting for him to slide the ring on the finger where any marriage ring would’ve been placed.

“I want it too,” Taeyong said, handing him his hand, feeling his heart almost jump out of his ribcage.

Yuta smiled. “For everything you made me go through I should give it to you last,” he joked while he grabbed another box, “but, I won’t.”

“You can’t be harsh with me, don’t try to fake it,” Taeyong replied, smiling widely at him. He couldn’t describe what he was feeling right now. This was the closest thing they would’ve had to a sealed promise, and sure, he wasn’t expecting it to come from Yuta but life —indeed— proved to be full of surprise.

“Jaehyun?” Yuta called once he was done with Taeyong, and the younger smiled at him, showing him his hand.

“I wanted to be the one to put a ring on all of you, you stole my idea,” he complained playfully.

“Well,” Yuta started, picking the ring and watching as it slid down his slender digit, fitting him perfectly, “you can always put it on me.”

“I will,” he said with tears almost falling from his eyes, “but first put it on Johnny.”

And when Yuta turned around, Johnny’s hand was already there, waiting for his turn.

“These are beautiful,” the oldest noted when Yuta placed the ring around his finger. “And the fact you put two stones even if we have the same one.” It was a small detail, but Johnny loved it so much because also in those rings they were five. They could always carry each other around like this.

“We’re five, aren’t we? I think it’s really a pretty number,” Yuta said, smiling endearingly at them.

“Yes, but your ring is missing,” Jade said, pointing at his naked hand.

“I was waiting for Jaehyun to be a gentleman,” he said, watching as his boyfriend moved forward to grab the last box in the bag. And his heart skipped a beat when Jaehyun opened it and pulled the ring out, his hand gently grabbing his while he let the metal run over his skin and reach the base of his digit.

That was it.

A small little thing between themselves but their relationship was sealed.

“We should do a proper celebration, don’t you think so?” Johnny proposed, still looking at his ring, and then at his lovers, feeling full, of love, of live, and so many other emotions he couldn’t define.

“We definitely should,” Jaehyun replied, squeezing closer to them.

“I wanted to plan something more romantic to be honest, but I couldn’t keep it a secret anymore,” Yuta confessed. He had thought of a small ceremony but, honestly, he kind of feared Taeyong and Johnny would’ve rejected it, and he wanted to avoid public humiliation. But then Taeyong confessed, and well, he should’ve imagined that Johnny was cool with anything as long as nobody suffered from it.

“This was romantic,” Taeyong said. “You and this one right here,” he added, pointing at Jade with his head, “did all you could to destroy our hearts tonight. Are you sure you’re not trying to get rid of us?”

They both chuckled lowly. “Mh, no,” Jade replied, scrunching her nose. “I think we all plan to spend a lot of time together.”

And when they decided to at least try to rest their legs and carried their bodies in their big bed, they were once again all tangled with each other, chuckling and talking about anything, trying hard to don’t be too loud and wake people up.

It took a while for sleep to take over them, but the night didn’t scare them anymore, because they knew that when the sun rose in the sky in the morning, they were going to wake up by each other’s side.

And sure, it had been so hard to get there, but they had no doubts in their hearts that they were the place where they belonged.

They were home.

They were each other safe place.

And one thing was sure.

They had chosen to stay, forever and always.

Because no hardship was going to be too hard as long as they had each other. Everything would’ve ended well if it ended with them.

THE END.

a/n: if you arrived here THANK YOU. This was pure madness and you survived? Congratulations. No but serious talk, I have to thank the person that requested this (I hope you’re still reading) because you pushed me to write something I wanted to do so bad but without that ask, I would’ve never done that. And then thank you to all of you who read this, loved it, and supported me with your messages. Enough with the cheesy part, I still have some things I’d like to write about them (read here for a peak), so I think more works will come out (dw, shorter than this). I don’t think they will have a plot but will be slices of life and/or explore some dynamics between them I still didn’t write. If you want to request something specific, you can do it and I’ll see what I can do. Let me know if you enjoyed this! ♡

For the people added to the taglist, let me know if you’d also like to be tagged in the next works or not.

#nct 127 fanfiction #jaehyun smut #johnny smut #taeyong smut #yuta smut #yujae smut #jaeyong smut #johnyu smut #jaehyun fluff #johnny fluff #taeyong fluff #yuta fluff #johnjaetayu smut #johnjaetaeyu fluff #nct poly #nct 127 smut #nct 127 fluff #all's well that ends well to end up with you

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tyonfs · 4 years ago

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that’s rich!

❝ word has it that yuta nakamoto is the new black. personally, i think whoever came up with that is deeply disturbed. ❞

PAIRING ▸ yuta nakamoto x fem!reader (ft. wong yukhei)

GENRES ▸ slow burn, smut, crack, fluff, angst, college au, enemies to lovers, summer romance au, mutual pining

WARNINGS ▸ reader is super shallow at first but !! character development, mentions of family issues, sexual tension, love triangle, yuta and reader bickering all the time, teasing, sneaking around, corruption kink, yuta calls you princess and kitten, fingering, overstimulation, exhibitionism, oral (fem. receiving), i promise it’s fluffy after the angst

SUMMARY ▸ despite having everything in the palm of your hand, you soon realized that not everything could be won over by money and your jaw-dropping looks. unfortunately, you had to come to that conclusion when your birthday present was the bane of your existence, yuta nakamoto.

PLAYLIST ▸ here!

WORD COUNT ▸ 27739 words

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ i'm so sorry for the wait but it’s here !! thank you so much for your support on this series, it always makes my heart swell to see the love it gets! part of the dunk shot! series but it can be read separately ♡

DIAMONDS WERE A GIRL’S BEST FRIEND, BUT LEE TAEYONG WAS YOURS.

Sometimes, you wished your father sent you off to an elite private university, but you supposed a public university wasn’t too bad when you found the right crowd. The issue for you was that you simply couldn’t relate to the people around you. There was no right crowd when you were a pearl among stones. It wasn’t like you were classist or anything, but public school students just didn’t suit your taste.

Although, Taeyong was an exception to that. You weren’t just settling for him as your best friend because he was all you had, but maybe somewhere deep down in your tiny, diamond-encrusted heart was a space for Lee Taeyong. He had been your rock since high school, after all.

Bees flocked to pretty flowers, but when you were pretty and rich, it was a bit unnerving for some. In high school, Taeyong approached you and befriended you first. Initially, you were a little hesitant to become friends with him, but you soon realized he wasn’t like your other friends who had only tried to get close to you for your money. Sure, money was great, but you wanted friends, not leeches.

“This sucks,” Taeyong muttered, letting his head hang dejectedly. “I can’t believe I failed the quiz again.”

“You can still retake it,” you offered. “It’s not like it’s going to affect your grade.”

Taeyong shrank a bit at your comment, admitting, “My mom said she’s gonna send me to a tutoring camp if I don’t improve.”

“Are you kidding? That’s lame. She’s way too hard on you.”

You didn’t want to think about what would happen if Taeyong got busier than he was already. He was one of your only genuine friends, after all, and you felt lonely when he was away. Deep down, you understood that you couldn’t rely on him for everything, but he was still your anchor.

School had ended and you were, as usual, walking Taeyong to basketball practice before you attended to your other affairs. Taeyong’s car was out for service for what seemed like forever, so you, being the generous friend you were, offered to pick him up from practice and drive him back home every single day. Today was the last day of practice before you guys had your summer break, so you were feeling a bit nostalgic about this last drop-off.

“Hey, Y/N,” Taeyong started, turning to face you upon arriving at the gym. “I don’t need you to pick me up today. The basketball team’s having a party after practice so I’m gonna get a ride from Jungwoo.” Your face fell, and Taeyong seemed to take notice because his features softened considerably. “I’m sorry. I can stop by later if you want.”

“Well, sure,” you replied, a touch distant before you perked up. “You can make it up to me by hanging out with me this weekend.”

He grinned. “Done deal.”

Honestly, driving was a pain in the ass, but today was the last day before break. Sure, you could call Taeyong and ask him to hang out with you, but there was something nostalgic and comforting in your daily routine of driving him around and hanging out with him at school.

It was absolutely cruel that your birthday was during the holidays. The problem with hanging out with Taeyong outside of school was that the both of you were always indecisive about plans. When you wanted to go to the Ansan Starlight Village, Taeyong wanted to go to the convenience store; when you wanted to eat gratin dauphinois, Taeyong wanted chicken wings; and worst of all, when you wanted to hang out, Taeyong wanted you to come over to his place where he roomed with the man who made you want to tear up your Givenchy bag.

Yuta Nakamoto, the bane of your existence.

You couldn’t fathom why Taeyong would ever want to associate himself with the slimeball. Sure, he was the object of many girls’ wet dreams, but Yuta was vile and an absolute menace to society. Maybe society was a stretch, but Yuta Nakamoto was hellbent on making your life miserable and you despised him for it.

Your hatred for each other stemmed from various past events. On the first day of your first year, you felt like the parking space for your Bugatti Chiron was far too suffocating, so you took up two of them. Clearly, Yuta didn’t seem to like this, so he started an argument with you in the student parking lot. He didn’t seem to appreciate you telling him that your car could run faster than his mouth.

On another occasion, you happened to be lab partners with Yuta. You didn’t remember enough to delve too deep into the details, but in short, the both of you ended up being sent to the principal’s office and were reprimanded for not being able to go a minute without getting on each other’s nerves. Although, it did amuse you that Yuta’s weak spot happened to be when you talked down on his sexual performance.

Since then, the two of you had always been on sour terms. Recently, it worsened when you were talking to Taeyong about applying for the student body president and Yuta had overheard you two. Yuta started up a banter with you, as usual, and he ended up saying something that stuck with you. Granted, you did jab at him yourself, but he crossed the line.

You don’t care about anyone but yourself, do you?

That honestly kind of stung.

You seriously couldn’t understand why anyone would ever tolerate Yuta Nakamoto. If someone had a terrible personality, they should at least be able to make it up with their looks, but Yuta was the complete package for disaster. He had scary eyes and long hair that desperately needed a trim. Sure, maybe it was a little cute, but you still hated his guts. Nothing would ever bring you to even remotely like that cockroach, not even if he flashed one of those heart-wrenching smiles.

“Taeyong, are you coming?”

Well, speak of the devil and his sickeningly husky voice.

“Yeah, just give me a second,” your best friend responded.

“Oh, it’s her again,” Yuta mumbled, his smile fading. “Don’t you have other things to do, Y/N? Like updating your social media for the tenth time this week?”

“Yuta Nakamoto,” you started, forcing a thin-lipped smile. “I have been nothing but civil towards you, so I’d greatly appreciate it if you could reciprocate that.” A light scoff escaped your lips before you continued, “Also, I am not posting another picture until I take one with better lighting.”

“My bad. I almost forgot you were more selective than Harvard admissions.”

You let out a sigh, deciding not to engage. Yuta had his own reputation and you had yours; thus, you realized it was best to stay out of his business so you could uphold your own. However, the longer he lingered around you like a fruit fly, the more you were tempted to snap at him.

“Don’t you have balls to play with?” you asked, trying to shoo him away.

The corner of Yuta’s lip twitched like he was trying not to laugh. He seemed to be in a good mood today.

“A dirty joke from Y/N? Never thought I’d live to see the day.” He raised his eyebrows at you, glancing at Taeyong who looked absolutely miserable. “Is she coming to the party?”

“I’m not,” you replied curtly, “but you two have fun.”

“You’re not?” a voice called from behind.

Jeong Jaehyun.

You turned to see the golden boy right behind you and Taeyong. His kind eyes softened and peered at you curiously. Even though you had gone to school with him for years and seen him almost every day, you could never get over how insanely attractive he was.

You supposed your crush on him began at the freshman welcoming party when Jaehyun fended some creepy seniors away from you and walked you back to your dorm. It was probably the bare minimum a guy could do, but Jaehyun didn’t know you or your money, helping you out of pure, genuine kindness. Oddly enough, that was rather comforting to you. That was when you first started to notice him, and as you got to know Jaehyun, you started to fall for him more and more.

“Well, now she’ll probably go to the party,” Yuta muttered under his breath.

“It’s a basketball party, right?” you asked, shooting Yuta a glare. “I don’t want to intrude.”

“You’re invited.” Jaehyun grinned at you and grabbed Taeyong by the shoulders, dragging him inside the court. “You’re a friend, after all.”

When Jaehyun and Taeyong were inside, greeting the other members (especially Jaemin, who tried to jump onto Jaehyun’s back), you were left with Yuta Nakamoto and the shocking words that Jaehyun had left behind to settle upon you. You were still trying to process what he said, letting them sink into your skin like poison.

Friend.

“Ouch.” Yuta tutted. “You’re too deep in the friendzone. I don’t know if there’s any salvation at this point, Y/N.”

The disbelief must have been clear on your face but you composed yourself quickly.

“I could care less,” you said, “and, for the record, I am going to that party.”

And you were going to look like you were ready to break hearts.

Cinderella’s stagecoach was a pumpkin; yours was Yuta Nakamoto’s silver truck.

The pumpkin was starting to sound like quite the deal.

Approximately twenty minutes before the party started, Yuta knocked at your door. You weren’t close to being ready and didn’t quite appreciate being rudely interrupted in the middle of your quest to pick out the perfect outfit. On top of that, you would have preferred anyone but Yuta behind your door, but you were doomed to be tortured by his presence.

When you opened the door, you had a full face of makeup and perfect hair, a stark contrast from your pink pajamas and slippers. Yuta raised a brow at your appearance, clearly holding in a laugh that was only halted by your warning glare. You would have much preferred Taeyong picking you up, but either way, there was no logical reason for Yuta to pick you up when you could drive to Jaehyun’s house yourself.

You cut to the chase. “What are you doing here?”

“Should I say hi to your mom?” he asked, swiftly ignoring your question.

“She’s not home,” you answered.

“Dad?”

“Not in the picture.”

Yuta whistled lowly. “Daddy issues, huh?”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, already irritated with the direction this conversation was going in. “Yuta, seriously, what are you doing here?”

“What do you think? I’m picking you up,” Yuta replied coolly. “Taeyong asked me to.”

“I can drive,” you reminded him, a sneer curling at your lips, “and you can go now.”

“I’m not drinking tonight and you are, so I think you should just take the ride because I’m not letting you drive intoxicated,” he replied with a reprimanding scoff. “Now finish getting ready unless you’re coming to the party like that.”

You didn’t exactly know how you felt about leaving Yuta in your foyer. In a house worth millions, you weren’t sure you could trust him and his wandering eyes. However, he was Taeyong’s friend, and Taeyong wouldn’t be friends with someone who was all that bad.

“Fine,” you decided. “Stay here.”

Without giving Yuta any direction on where to wait, you marched upstairs, making a great effort to stomp on each step with your fluffy slippers. Something about having a guy waiting for you downstairs was unnerving, and it didn’t help that it was Yuta Nakamoto, who looked exactly like the kind of guys your parents didn’t want you bringing home.

Usually, it took you ages to choose what to wear; however, you were on a bit of a time crunch now. You decided against one of the several dresses you had laid out on your bed and settled for jeans and a tank top. Yuta’s casual appearance was definitely not a factor in your decision, but you were coming to the realization that subtly was key. You could break hearts in casual clothing any day.

You didn’t even think your outfit was all that great until you walked downstairs and caught Yuta staring at you. His jaw fell slack for a moment and he turned away to regain his composure. This was probably the first and only time you thought Yuta Nakamoto was being endearing.

Not that you would ever admit that.

Plus, he didn’t look too bad right now. He always had potential in him, and seeing him accessorizing and wearing shirts that showed off his biceps was flattering. His shoulders looked broad and strong and his eyes gleamed under the lights. His scruffy hair was looking rather attractive, too, and you were faced with the terrifying realization that Yuta had always been hot in more of a rugged way.

“You’ll catch flies,” you said bluntly, moving past Yuta to get your purse.

You expected a backhanded remark in return but Yuta needed some time for a proper comeback. While your back was turned, you grinned at the thought of Yuta Nakamoto being so shy in front of you.

“Shut up,” he settled with. You thought he was done talking to you for the night by the way the both of you ended up walking to his truck in complete silence. Hell, even the first half of the drive was just the both of you sitting awkwardly, gazes fixed on the road ahead. But then Yuta asked, “What do you see in a guy like Jeong Jaehyun?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “He’s hot.”

That got a laugh out of Yuta. “At least you’re honest.”

You felt unsettled. Sitting next to Yuta and actually getting along with him was not how you expected to spend your night. It felt like some fever dream that you were going to wake up from in seconds and then forget about a few days later.

“You try to cut corners too much, Y/N,” he continued. “Love is slow.”

Yuta had unexpected depth.

“Real poetic,” you deadpanned. “Which soap opera did you get that from?”

“I’m serious,” he said, voice dropping an octave, and you could see the playful glint in his eyes disappear. “I see you drool over Jaehyun like he’s a piece of meat, but I don’t see any genuine interest from you.”

You looked out the passenger seat window, casting your eyes down where you could see the road glide past you. This felt like a rejection before you even had the chance to speak to Jaehyun himself.

“Who do you think I’m genuinely interested in then?” you asked, tone growing bitter. “Since you’re so sure of yourself.”

However, you didn’t end up getting an answer because all traces of the conversation seemed to disappear from Yuta’s mind when he parked in front of Jaehyun’s house. You felt unsettled with how the discussion ended but still allowed Yuta to skirt around his truck to open the door for you. Without making eye contact, you not-so-gracefully stepped off, managing to slip when your heel met the pavement at an awkward angle.

Yuta’s arms wrapped around your waist before you could even process you were falling. You swallowed hard, daring your breath not to hitch in front of him because you would rather drop dead than appear vulnerable in front of him. You could smell the faintest wafts of cologne from Yuta’s body by how close you were, and it was intoxicating.

“Easy,” he spoke in a low voice.

“I can walk,” you said, straightening up. Yuta’s hands retreated to his sides and you were left with his touch still lingering on your skin, still burning.

You walked past him to go inside Jaehyun’s house, texting Taeyong as you did to inform him that you were there. You were ready to complain to him about making Yuta pick you up. The music was so loud you could feel it vibrating along the ground beneath you, and the smell of weed hit you before you even walked inside.

There was a gaggle of whispers instantly, something about a you-and-Yuta thing, which pissed you off. It must have had to do with the fact that he was tailing behind you like a lost puppy, but you weren’t exactly too keen on telling him off in front of everyone.

“Is she with Yuta now?” you heard from the corner of the living room. “Guess that means he’s off the table now, huh? Shit.”

You narrowed your eyes and spun around to face Yuta, making him stop dead in his tracks, wide-eyed. “Where’s Taeyong?” you asked loudly over the music so that he wouldn’t have to ask you to repeat it.

Yuta’s eyebrows rose to signal that he understood what you said and looked over your head, moving his hands to your shoulders so he could maneuver you away from the pack of guys shotgunning a beer in the living room. More than anything, you just wanted to be out of sight from the girls, so you went along with him. Yuta moved you to the kitchen where Taeyong was refilling his cup.

“There you go, princess,” Yuta mocked.

You made a face at him, scrunching up your nose at the nickname before walking over to Taeyong. “Hey! You’re a dick, you know that, right?”

“What?” Taeyong asked, alarmed. He nearly dropped his cup at your harsh words but then the corners of his lips hitched up into a smile. “You made it!”

“Yeah, whatever,” you brushed off his excitement and fixed a glare at your best friend. “Why would you ask Yuta Nakamoto to pick me up when I clearly hate his guts?”

Taeyong rose a brow, confused. “What? I didn’t—” He paused and something seemed to dawn upon him as if he realized something. He chuckled and turned back to his drink. “What a loser.”

“What?”

“Nothing at all.”

You rolled your eyes, pursing your lips upon recalling the girls from earlier. “Word has it that Yuta Nakamoto is the new black,” you told him as you started getting a cup for yourself. Taeyong raised his brows in amusement. “Personally, I think whoever came up with that is deeply disturbed.”

“So,” Taeyong started, taking a sip of his mixed drink, “what’s going on between you and Yuta?”

You nearly dropped the bottle of vodka you were about to pour into your cup. “Excuse me?”

Taeyong shrugged. “I’m just saying, even though he’s one of my friends and it’d be kinda awkward at first, I have no objections if you guys were to—”

“Whoa, slow down,” you interjected. “Yuta and I? That’s disgusting, Taeyong. Why would you ever think of something like that?”

“You like him, right?”

“No, I like—”

“You like Jeong Jaehyun… apparently,” your best friend finished for you. “I could tell.” That was somewhat of a shock to you. Only Yuta had found out through simple observation; your attraction towards Jaehyun was something you kept bottled up. Taeyong continued, “Jaehyun’s one of my best friends. I know he’s off the market, Y/N.”

“What?” you asked, voice coming out shakier than expected.

“Jaehyun doesn’t hook up with girls, but I know he’s been seeing one,” he said. “If it’s him, I know it’s serious.”

You didn’t want your voice to sound thick with emotion, so you took a shot, hoping it would drown out all thoughts of you making a pathetic fool out of yourself. If Jaehyun truly was seeing someone else without publicizing it to everyone, what were you even doing all this time?

But you were here to break hearts—not the other way around—so you straightened your back and tilted your chin up.

“Okay, but Yuta doesn’t even like me.”

“He likes you.”

“That’s rich.” You let out a scoff. “That must explain why he never lets me forget he hates my guts.”

Taeyong glanced over and grabbed the shoulder of the nearest guy, who happened to be Wong Yukhei—captain of the football team and blessed with looks that rivaled the Greek gods. Yukhei was similar to Jaehyun in a way; they were both lone flowers on the edges of cliffs, far from anyone’s reach. They were to be admired from afar, and anyone who dared to ask them out would be out of their mind.

You used to hang out with Yukhei in high school, often going to parties with him and driving to get boba. You remained on good terms but naturally drifted apart in college. That never stopped you from meeting up with him occasionally, but you weren’t as close as you used to be.

“What’s up?” Yukhei nodded in Taeyong’s direction, glancing between the both of you for a second.

“You know Yuta likes Y/N, right?” he pressed.

“Yeah, he’s down bad.” A slow smile spread across Yukhei’s face and he turned to you. There was only kindness in his eyes but his gaze still made you shy away. “Do you like him back, Y/N?”

“No way,” you denied firmly, pushing at his arm. “Run along now, Yukhei.”

“He likes you,” Taeyong repeated firmly once Yukhei had his fun laughing at you and walked away. “Haven’t you had guys tug your hair in grade school to get your attention?”

“Yuta is an adult in college.”

Taeyong gave you a pointed look. “Men regress to elementary schoolers when they’re in love, Y/N.”

“Excuse me? Love?”

“Did I say too much?”

Love? You understood attraction—that was a given for people when they saw how good you looked. Love, however, was in a dimension far beyond your understanding. Those thoughts just circled you back to the you-and-Yuta thing from earlier. There was absolutely no you-and-Yuta thing. There couldn’t be a you-and-Yuta thing. If Yuta Nakamoto liked you, then wouldn’t that be the end of every interaction you would ever have with him?

“God, I need some air.”

Taeyong only smiled as you shook your head and marched off. You pushed your way past the crowds of sweaty teenagers grinding up against each other, holding your cup up to ensure it wouldn’t spill onto your outfit. The outside air was cool against your skin and you felt like you could breathe again. At least until you saw the one man you were dreading to encounter.

“What’re you doing in the pool?” you asked, indignant.

“Swimming,” he answered, shooting you an odd look. “Care to join?”

You scoffed. “In a pool full of sweaty, drunk men? I’ll pass.”

Yuta put his hands on the ledge and hauled himself up and out of the pool. You stepped back, scrunching your nose as he wrung the water out of his loose white shirt and the legs of his red sweatpants. You had to admit, he looked incredible with the beads of water glistening on his skin and his damp hair over his forehead. He met your eyes, and you quickly averted your gaze.

“I got rejected,” Yuta said loudly.

You couldn’t hide the shock on your face. Here you were, letting Taeyong trick you into thinking Yuta liked you when that wasn’t the case at all. You felt like an absolute idiot. The shame burned in your chest.

“About time,” you replied with a light scoff. “I’m glad they humbled you, whoever they were.”

Yuta ignored your comment and asked, “Can we go somewhere quieter?”

He looked somewhat pathetic, all drenched and rejected, so you agreed.

You followed Yuta away from the pool. He led you to a few lawn chairs that were stranded a little away from the pool. They were a bit damp but you still sat down, knowing Yuta would just offer his lap instead. He took a seat next to you on the same chair and let out a discontent sigh.

“You got your heart broken that bad?” you asked.

You pursed your lips at the sight of him. You weren’t used to the source of your misery being so down in the dumps. It was making you feel irritated; only you were allowed to have that effect on Yuta Nakamoto. Plus, you couldn’t imagine anyone breaking his heart when he was so thoughtful, so attractive, and so—

Wait.

Was your inner monologue favoring Yuta right now? Taeyong had messed with your mind to the extent that you couldn’t even trust your own brain right now.

“No, I didn’t even like her like that,” Yuta replied.

You hadn’t yet voiced any of your thoughts, but you were starting to feel second-hand embarrassment for yourself for defending Yuta. He didn’t even care that much and you were going on and on about how great he was.

“Then why are you so upset? Are you stressed? You know, stress gives you wrinkles, Yuta,” you reminded.

Yuta seemed to revert to his indifferent attitude at your comment. “Is that why your forehead’s been looking different lately? Jaehyun’s been stressing you out?” he jabbed.

You gasped, hands flying up to prod at your forehead. Just as you thought: no wrinkles; Yuta was just a prick.

You sneered at him. “I’m trying to be here for you.”

“That’s cute,” Yuta said, “and absolutely nothing like you.”

“Well, I’m intoxicated, so I’m not in the right headspace to wish endless torment upon you.”

“You know what’s tormenting?” Yuta asked with a smile. “You.”

“I’m aware. It’s not hard to forget when you remind me every single day.”

Yuta looked past you and sighed. He was confusing you more and more by the minute. At first, it was heartbreak, but now he had no feelings for the girl yet was still upset. You couldn’t wrap your head around what he was thinking. You snapped your fingers in front of Yuta’s face to get his attention, looking at him expectantly for an answer.

“I wanted to get with someone else,” he explained, “so I could get over you.”

“What?” you spluttered out. “Isn’t that kind of shitty of you? Pretty sure that’s a war crime.”

“It’s very shitty. I don’t recommend it.”

You just gaped at him.

“Are you drunk enough for this?” he asked, peering over at the contents of your cup. “Drink some more.”

“No!” You set your cup down, unwilling to let the conversation go while you were still sober. “Explain.”

“I really think you should be drunk for this.”

“I refuse.”

Yuta groaned into his hands. “God, how are you so beautiful but so fucking annoying?”

“Genetics,” you answered.

Yuta grumbled something inaudible and glared at you. This time, however, felt different. It wasn’t like Yuta was particularly keen on coming for your throat or shutting you up. The way he was looking at you made you feel like you could see every private emotion laid bare, every longing thought clear as day.

The Yuta-and-you thing aged a little too well.

“Oh.” You stared at him. “This is a confession.”

“Some like to call it that,” Yuta said. “I’d rather call it my famous last words.”

You couldn’t help yourself. You burst into laughter right in front of his face, watching his pained expression morph into one of utter disbelief. You weren’t sure if you actually found the situation funny or if you were just hysterical. The thought of Yuta Nakamoto liking you of all people seemed to be the most masochistic thing you had ever heard.

“What the hell,” you started in dismay, “do you even like about me?”

Yuta sucked in a deep breath. “You have a shitty personality, you only care about men that make you look better, you’re extremely spoiled, and—”

“This really isn’t helping your case,” you interjected. Yuta was only supplying evidence for your theory that he was a closet masochist.

“And,” Yuta continued, eyes boring deep into yours, “I am so enamored by the fact that there is actual warmth in that cold, tiny heart of yours.”

That was a line you’ve never heard.

Come to think of it, it was quite sad that no one ever described you as a warm person. Sure, you got “pretty” and “confident” a lot, but no one had ever considered you as an affectionate person. You didn’t care too much, but now that Yuta was using it to describe you, you were trying to re-evaluate how you carried yourself in front of others.

“Warmth? Let’s get you to bed, gramps.”

Yuta rolled his eyes. “I’m serious. I pay close attention to the people I care about, Y/N. You know me well enough to realize that I wouldn’t suck up to you out of nowhere.”

You hated to admit it, but he had a point.

“Well, what do you want me to do?” You let out a laugh, suddenly nervous. “What are you… expecting?”

“Kiss me.”

“Excuse me?”

“Kiss me,” Yuta repeated. “If you hate it, then push me away and I’ll never make a move on you again. If you like it, then we’ll see where we can go from there.”

This combination of intensity and vulnerability from Yuta was unfortunately only making him impossibly hotter.

“Okay.”

You didn’t even process your answer until after the word escaped your lips. Your morals were fighting every dark curl of desire that screamed at you to kiss Yuta. They warned you that it was wrong to kiss someone you had no feelings for, but you were leaning toward indulging yourself.

You added, “Don’t do anything stupid or I'll kill you.”

“Then,” Yuta murmured, cupping your face, “I’ll be gentle.”

You froze. It was clear what you wanted. Clear in the way your head tilted to the side, the way your nose brushed against his cheek, the way your lips neared his. The sound of partygoers drowned out and all you could focus on was Yuta Nakamoto and his soft lips meeting yours.

There was this clawing ugliness inside you, something ravaging and horrible. A hideous beast that knew perfectly well that Yuta’s affection and interest were wasted on you. You felt invincible with someone as unpredictable as him wrapped around your finger, and it made you feel good—well, completely shitty, but powerful.

You did want Yuta, though.

Just not in the way Yuta wanted you.

He was surprisingly delicate in the way he kissed you, like he had all the time in the world, like he wanted to make each precious second worth it. He pushed you back down on the lawn chair, hovering over you and cupping your face with both hands. The thought of protesting briefly crossed your mind before you were completely lost in the taste of his lips.

You were classy. You didn’t kiss boys in the shadows. You didn’t have makeout sessions on unstable, damp lawn chairs. You didn’t mope over indirect rejections and turn to your enemy for comfort.

Yuta Nakamoto was really something.

You were half-aware of everything going on, barely noticing Yuta had gotten over you until you could no longer ignore his erection hard against your thigh. Yuta seemed to realize it himself, shifting so that you couldn’t feel his eagerness anymore. However, the both of you were so immersed in kissing each other that you couldn’t act upon the rational thought that this shouldn’t be happening.

Yuta pulled away first, dazed and drunk with lust.

You, however, were the first to speak. “We can’t do this.”

You couldn’t bear the thought of this turning into something more, something that you would possibly regret the next morning. The thought of being intimate with Yuta of all people was sending shivers down your spine. Clearly, you were still hung up over Jaehyun being unavailable and simply vented out your frustration.

“I’m perfectly fine,” Yuta said, getting off of you. “You can’t do this.” You opened your mouth to argue but Yuta continued, “That’s probably for the better, anyway. I can’t be Jaehyun.”

Somehow, you were feeling a bit wary about ruining your relationship with Yuta—if it could even be considered one in the first place. But maybe you had to ruin it to make things right.

“We can pretend that kiss didn’t happen,” you tried.

“Sorry, I can’t,” Yuta replied. “I don’t want to pretend there wasn’t anything there.”

“Just do it with someone else,” you snapped, voice raising. You couldn’t look him in the eye so you picked at the tightly woven fabric of the lawn chair. “It’ll feel the same.”

“It wouldn’t.”

“It would,” you insisted. “It’s just a kiss. It doesn’t matter.”

A lie.

Yuta’s voice sounded like it had shattered into a thousand tiny, orphaned pieces, but he asked softly, “You felt nothing?”

“Of course not.”

Another lie.

You stood up, nauseated. Maybe you were wrong. Maybe it wasn’t that you would regret it, but you were scared that you would actually care for someone. Letting someone in had always been your biggest fear, though you wouldn’t dare admit that, not even to yourself.

“I have to go.”

You pushed past the drunk college students, swaying slightly before you stumbled to the pool table. You didn’t look back at Yuta. Not once. Leaving was as easy as taking a breath; one foot in front of the other, again and again, until you were alone. No one was of any use to you, anyway. You even held Taeyong at an arm's length, so Yuta had no right to wedge his way in.

No one stayed for long. Your life, too, was constantly moving. You made friends, fell out, moved on, made new friends, and let the process repeat itself. Even Jaehyun wouldn’t stay, and one day, Yuta would do the same to you if you let him in.

It’s a moment of weakness, you decided on his behalf. In a few days, he’ll be over it.

Yuta was right; he could never be Jaehyun. You did pursue Jaehyun, but there was something different about your affection toward him. It felt safe because no matter how far you reached, no matter how hard you tried, you knew deep down that you could never have him. You knew that since the beginning, so you felt secure in not having to commit to something you weren’t ready for.

You didn’t know how to feel anymore.

“Y/N?” came a gentle voice from behind. “Are you okay?” You turned and Taeyong’s hands rushed up to cup your cheeks, thumbs wiping at your tears. His gaze hardened and his tone was sharp when he asked, “What happened to you?”

You crumbled under his hold and fell forward into his chest. “Take me home.”

If you weren’t feeling so pathetic, you would’ve laughed because Taeyong didn’t even have a car.

Taeyong was faltering before you. “Um… wait, let me ask one of the guys if I can use their car. I think they’ll let me if I sober up enough,” he tried. “Otherwise, we can—”

“I can take her home.”

You and Taeyong turned to see Yukhei spinning his car keys around his finger. He approached you with a look of concern shrouding his face, eyebrow lifted in suspicion. He probably thought you had too much to drink, but Yukhei was a gentleman, so you knew he wouldn’t pry.

“Are you okay with Yukhei driving you home?” Taeyong asked you. You nodded, wiping at your tear-stained cheeks. He smiled, trying to incite one from you. “Text me when you’re home, okay? I’ll be checking in.”

Distant and feeble, you replied, “Thanks.”

You were overwhelmed with the amount of care you were receiving. Taeyong was doting by nature, but he probably hadn’t expected you to break down in front of him in a public setting. Moreover, you were horrified that Yukhei had to witness your vulnerability.

You followed Yukhei out to his car, combating the awkward silence with your newfound interest in your shoes. Goosebumps prickled your arms so you ran your hands along your skin to provide warmth. You begrudgingly got in the passenger's seat and stared ahead. Every single thought you forced into your brain only circled back to your kiss with Yuta. The taste of his lips was still fresh in your mind, the warmth still lingering on your skin.

“Are you okay?”

The question snapped you out of your daze. You turned to Yukhei but focused on the way his fingers curled around the wheel. You and Yukhei weren’t very emotionally available to each other (well, you supposed you weren’t all that emotionally available to anyone), so everything felt so unfamiliar about Yukhei right now.

“I’m fine.”

He hummed. “Drank too much?”

You mentally retracted your previous statement about Yukhei not prying.

You nodded. “Shit night. Never drinking again. Gonna shut myself out and not see anyone from school for the rest of the break.”

He chuckled at your words. There was a high chance you wouldn’t follow through with what you were saying, but you were tipsy and pissed off. It was comforting talking to Yukhei, though, like you were free from all the judgement in the world. Or rather, free from all-things-Yuta-Nakamoto.

Yukhei parked in your driveway and looked over at you. “You know what’s good hangover food?”

You smiled a little. You both had the same conversation before in your senior year of high school.

“Chinese takeout,” you answered.

“Burritos,” Yukhei said at the same time.

You guessed your memory didn’t hold up as well as you thought it did.

“Chinese works.” Yukhei laughed. “I know this really good place that delivers.”

You considered this. “Come over tomorrow.”

Yukhei grinned. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

You bit back a smile and got out of his car. Yukhei waited to watch you get inside safely while you made your way to your door. However, you couldn’t help but feel bittersweet as you glanced over your shoulder to see Yukhei still parked. Some horrid itch at the back of your head wouldn’t let you believe that he’d stay.

You opened the door to an empty house.

No one ever did.

You never would’ve expected rekindling a friendship with Wong Yukhei of all people.

It was like the popular guy and popular girl hanging out together despite having barely anything in common other than being popular. On the surface, it felt like neither of you had anything to really talk about. You just enjoyed each other’s company. Yukhei was good at turning small talk into something deeper, though, so it felt easy with him.

In an unlikely turn of events, you found him sitting on your bedroom floor, digging into a takeout box of noodles. You were sitting on your bed, listless, forking at the orange chicken in your takeout box. Yukhei had taken the liberty of picking up your takeout before he had arrived at your house. So, a little while into your evening, you opened your door to see a smiling (and shivering) Yukhei with a plastic bag in his hand.

The one thing you regretted about letting him drive you home was that your time with Taeyong was cut short. His mother ended up sending him to tutoring camp, which he gave you an earful about in the morning before he had to catch his bus.

This wasn’t the way you imagined to kick off your summer break, but you supposed it was far better than locking yourself up in your room and moping about the previous night. The shattered look on Yuta’s face had been haunting even in your dreams. Not even a rewatch of Annabelle with one leg off the bed could save your dreams from being anything but Yuta Nakamoto.

“You’re not usually this quiet,” Yukhei observed.

You stabbed another orange chicken with your fork and looked at him. “We haven’t hung out since senior year of high school, Yukhei. People change.”

He snorted. “You haven’t.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s not like we ignore each other completely,” Yukhei said. “I know what you’re up to, and you’re the same Y/N I was crushing on in senior year.”

You choked on your chicken. “Excuse me? Crushing?”

You didn’t think you could handle another confession. Two days in a row had you winded. Men were getting far too bold these days; you wished they could regress to the stage of suppressing their feelings and being too prideful to open their mouths.

Yukhei grabbed a napkin to press to his lips, holding back a laugh. “Are you kidding? You didn’t notice? I was head over heels.”

“Ah,” you hummed, rolling your eyes, “so that’s why you got close.”

“No, I genuinely enjoyed your company,” he argued, “and wanted to get in your pants, but that was a side quest.”

“Wow, I’m blushing,” you replied dryly, stuck between finding his comment repulsive or hilarious.

It was probably Yukhei’s honesty that made you appreciate him more. You often grew tired of guys who beat around the bush and played around until they admitted what they wanted. Guys like that just made you wish you were born generations back when men just went to war and died.

You frowned. That was a trait you really admired from Yuta. He spoke his mind, no matter how much it pissed you off. He was brutally honest with you, even when it didn’t benefit him.

You scrunched up your nose in disgust. Why was your mind circling back to Yuta now of all times?

“Actually, there’s something different about you now.” Yukhei narrowed his eyes at you, the gears in his head turning as he tried to figure you out. “Got your heart broken, didn’t you?”

A highly unflattering sound came from your throat, and your cheeks burned with embarrassment when you heard yourself. You choked on a bit of your orange chicken and tried to look down at your takeout box to get the attention off of you. It was, however, all on you.

Yukhei was either observant or you were extremely dense. You considered the latter due to how you never realized he had feelings for you in the past. You also never realized that Yuta had feelings for you.

A period of self-reflection was long overdue.

“What makes you say that?” you asked, voice strained, hitting your chest with your fist to cease your coughing.

“You look exactly how I did when I realized you had no feelings for me whatsoever,” Yukhei said, lips pressed in a grim line. “Plus, it’s been two hours and you haven’t told me how much you splurged on online shopping recently.” After a pause, he added, “Don’t tell me you haven’t online shopped. You’re down bad, Y/N.”

“Shut it,” you bit out, cheeks aflame. However, you found it easy to let out everything that was plaguing your mind to Yukhei. “I don’t think I like him… I’m just confused.”

“Is it Yuta?”

“No! Well—maybe… um… even if it is, that’s none of your concern,” You mumbled, trailing off. “Alright, let’s say it’s a hypothetical person.”

“Alright, hypothetical person by the name of Yuka Nakamoto.”

“No.”

“Come on, Y/N,” Yukhei said, forcing a clipped laugh. “Everyone knows there’s something between you and Yuta. There’s a level of comfort the both of you have with each other that’s pretty rare to find.”

You hated finding proper reasoning behind Yukhei’s words. You did feel a connection with Yuta on a plane beyond your understanding that you never embraced. That was, of course, buried under the sand now. Loss was indeed like a prick to the skin.

You could be yourself around Yuta. You tried to be yourself around everyone, but Yuta gave you the most room to get angry, to worry, and to fuss. He let you feel everything you wanted without thinking of putting on airs. Now, you felt as though you were resigned to watch over him from behind a wall of glass.

Could you say you needed Yuta Nakamoto in your life? Of course.

Did you want to cross the boundary of your teasing friendship? You weren’t too sure.

“Even if I did like Yuta,” you said, “there’s no way he feels the same way anymore.”

“Anymore?”

“Yukhei,” you warned, jabbing your fork in his direction. “Thin ice.”

Yukhei straightened up, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “So, if you don’t want to do anything about it, then what are you expecting?”

He raised a fair point but you felt strangely defensive at his phrasing. Something about his words made it sound like you were running away and not facing your problems head-on.

It was most definitely what you were doing, but Yukhei didn’t have to call you out.

You shot Yukhei a look. A withering look, but a look nonetheless. “I understand why we stopped hanging out. Your nagging is insufferable.” You paused while Yukhei laughed at your comment and added, “For your information, I want to forget.”

“Forget?”

“Forget the party. Forget Yuta. Forget kissing Yuta. Forget breaking Yuta’s heart.”

The words spilled out of you with no filter, no control. You should have been angry with yourself for letting everything out but fuck, that reaction was not kicking in to stop you in time.

Yukhei blinked several times. The both of you fell into a weird, gauche moment of silence. You couldn’t blame him; you had just admitted to being affected by a stupid basketball player that made your chest feel hot (whether that was hot with passion or hot with anger was something you couldn’t pinpoint). Yukhei was probably still processing the fact that you were a living, breathing human who experienced real human emotions.

You waited for a second. Exhaled. Looked down at your orange chicken. Counted each piece.

“Let’s spend the summer break together,” Yukhei said abruptly.

You looked up at him, wide-eyed. “Huh? Why?”

“I have time to kill and you need time to forget,” Yukhei replied coolly, shrugging. “Might as well spend it together, right? Plus, Taeyong’s mom is forcing him to go to that camp or whatever, so I’m sure he’s not gonna have much time this break.”

You dwelled on this offer before you caved. “Fine.”

“Beach tomorrow?” he offered.

You thought over the plan as you chewed on your last piece of orange chicken. You hadn’t been to the beach in a while so you swallowed down your food and nodded, a small smile creeping to stretch across your face.

Hanging out with Yukhei didn’t sound too bad.

The beach was a terrible idea.

You were envisioning something out of a movie: white sand, crystal-clear water, and perfect weather. There would be cute surfers and lifeguards walking around, soaking up the hot, summer sun. You would be sunbathing in pure bliss and without a care in the world. If you were lucky, maybe you’d get that stupid kiss out of your head.

Instead, you got sand mixed with rocks and debris that hurt your feet, freezing ocean water, and the strangest weather consisting of the bright sun with cold gusts of wind. The weather was bizarre, to say the least. There was barely anyone on the beach, give or take a few families that dropped by. Overall, this was the worst hot girl summer in the history of hot girl summers.

“I am so sorry,” Yukhei apologized blankly before you could even say anything.

You shivered, rubbing the goosebumps that appeared along your arms. Sure, it wasn’t the ideal beach trip, but the view was nice. You and Yukhei had overslept so you ended up driving to the beach pretty late. At least you could see the sunset now if you waited an hour.

The only downside was that you dressed in a bikini for no reason. You were looking forward to letting loose and having fun today. Now, however, you were just regretting not bringing a jacket.

“Maybe we can start a bonfire instead,” you tried.

Neither of you knew how to start one. There were far too many steps involved and the two of you had zero willpower. You wondered if Yuta would know what to do; as tragic as it sounded, he was once a boy scout. Yukhei, on the other hand, only camped when it was in cabins or lodges.

“It’s just sticks and wood, right?” Yukhei asked.

“Something like that.”

You sat on a hollowed-out log, shifting until you were comfortable and sure there were no bugs around. It was a sad sight to see Yukhei picking up random sticks he found in the sand and then lugging some stray branches that were washed ashore. He arranged them in a little pit and stood back.

“Do you have a lighter?” he asked.

“I don’t smoke,” you replied.

“Y/N, it’s for the fire.”

Yukhei and you ended up sitting side-by-side on the uncomfortable log, shivering and defeated. The both of you had given up on the fire and resorted to watching the waves crash against the shore from a distance.

The sunset wasn’t anything extraordinary. You were looking forward to the explosion of color across the sky, but you ended up getting a gloomy, cloudy sky and a lifeless ball of fire sinking past the horizon. It was extremely uneventful and Yukhei couldn’t even comment on it. You had planned to document it on your Snapchat story, but now you had no way to showcase that you were living it up.

“Hey,” Yukhei called out of the blue. You turned your head, seeing his hands cupped in front of him. After your confused stare, he added, “Wanna see something cool?”

“What could be cooler than our pit of sticks?” you asked, voice bitter and laced with sarcasm.

Yukhei grinned in a way that made you anticipate what he had to offer. He uncupped his hands, spreading them out to reveal a small bug on his palm. The bug flickered and then glowed, like a wisp of gold in the darkness. The sight tapped into some childlike side of you that left you in utter awe.

“I haven’t seen fireflies in so long,” you said, a grin slowly spreading across your face. “Where did you even find it?”

You looked up at Yukhei to see if he was amazed too, but he wasn’t looking at the firefly. He was looking at you.

“There’s that smile,” he said, all tender and gentle. “I haven’t seen that in a while.”

Taken aback, you scoffed, trying to fight down your grin that didn’t seem to want to leave your face. A part of you grew a bit shy by Yukhei’s comment, but then you remembered the last time you smiled like this, and it made you sick.

It was the one and only time Yuta was at your house. He was standing in the foyer and admiring the way you looked as you made your way down the stairs. You had found it rather endearing, but now you just felt stupid that you hadn’t connected the dots before. Maybe you had always had an itch in the back of your head that Yuta’s special treatment toward you was for a reason, but you always refused to come to terms with it. Part of you just wanted to preserve the current relationship forever.

That didn’t matter anymore, though. You and Yuta would probably never speak to each other again.

“Is it that surprising?” Yukhei joked, a light laugh escaping his lips that was somewhere between worried and awkward. You felt his hand cradle your cheek, thumb brushing against your cheek. “You’re crying.”

Your hand shot up to dab at your cheek. You cringed at how damp and puffy your eyes felt.

“Weird,” you mumbled. “I wonder why.”

You normally had no energy to go for walks in the evening, but you needed some air. The sticky humidity during the day was uncomfortable so the cool evening breeze provided the perfect weather for you to enjoy a stroll.

There was a sense of freedom when you had no direction; you could go where you pleased and explore new areas. Over the past week, you learned to appreciate the company of others more. You had always preferred keeping to yourself or having Taeyong at your side, but hanging out with Yukhei made you realize how fun it was to step out of your comfort zone. You wondered how much of your life you had missed out on after holding yourself back so much.

You walked to the park across from your school. You knew it would be empty (give or take a few kids), but you were in the mood to ruminate over your lost childhood. As depressing and pathetic as it sounded, you wished you had done more.

Your eyes, however, kept drifting to the basketball court.

It was right next to the park, empty and inviting. There was a lone basketball abandoned near one of the hoops. Your curiosity got the better of you, so you walked over to pick it up. You had never played basketball but you had gone to at least a dozen games to cheer on Taeyong.

“Shoot,” you mumbled, holding it above your head and squinting your eyes at your target. “Score.”

You threw the basketball forward, but it bounced off the backboard and rolled along the pavement. You sighed, defeated, but before you could walk over to pick the basketball up, a pair of hands got to it before you did.

Why was he here?

“It’s been a while,” Yuta said, spinning the basketball on his finger so that he didn’t have to make eye contact with you. He was sweaty and looked like he had just run a mile. “Why’re you alone?”

For the first time in your life, your confidence had diminished. You stared at Yuta with absolutely no idea what to say or how to act.

He looked good—well, he always did, but there was something more now. He looked like he had gained some muscle and his hair had grown out a little. You used to think his style was cute in a scruffy way, but you were starting to be into it.

You had tried getting your mind off of Yuta Nakamoto for the past week, and it was working, but now you felt as if your efforts had been in vain. Seeing him made you face the painful realization that the feelings you never recognized were still persistent.

You liked Yuta Nakamoto.

You assumed Yuta caught onto your awkwardness, so he continued, “I’ll show you the proper way to shoot.”

You stepped back as he positioned himself where you were earlier. He held a hand to his chest and under the ball, with the other guiding the side. His feet shuffled a bit until he was stabilized and glanced at you. You weren’t sure if he was expecting you to cheer so you just blinked at him.

“Use this hand as a guide, and the one under the ball to shoot,” Yuta instructed. He extended his elbow and, with his shooting hand, flicked his wrist and fingers to propel the basketball forward. It rolled around the rim before falling into the hoop. “See? Easy. It’s an art.”

“Very cool,” you said, a little lost in your feelings. You wondered how he could stay so calm and collected in front of you. “So why are you here?”

“I was going for a jog,” Yuta replied, averting his gaze when he tried to meet your eyes. “I didn’t think you’d be in the area.”

“I don’t live that far away.”

“Still…” Yuta trailed off. “You surprised me.”

The dynamic was off. Nothing felt right between you guys right now.

“We’ve never been friends,” you blurted out. Yuta looked puzzled but you continued, “We were never friends so why is this a big deal? All this… tension between us.”

Yuta’s jaw tightened. You wished you kept your question bottled up because you could feel him slipping further and further away. Even though Yuta was right there with you, you felt like you had to cross a sea to get to him.

“Maybe it wasn’t a big deal to you,” he said, “but it kind of affected me.”

You couldn’t say anything, although the words were right on your tongue. Sorry, I was wrong. It should have been so easy to say but it was trapped in your throat. Whether it was your pride holding you back or your fear of messing things up even more, you knew too well that you were out of line.

“I should probably go then,” you said.

“Yeah, probably,” Yuta replied, his voice coming out more strangled than expected. “See you.”

Yuta never looked at you, not even when you waited for a second to see if he’d change his mind. Forcing yourself not to lose it in front of him, you kept your mouth shut and your eyes fixed on your shoes. You hesitated before turning on your heel and walking back where you came from.

One step forward and two steps backward.

It was now two weeks into your summer break. Your birthday was coming up soon.

You had spent nearly every single day with Yukhei. On the days you didn’t, you would do something else or call Taeyong. You were grateful that both of them kept you occupied, but you couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was eating at and draining you.

The other day, you and Yukhei went to the aquarium. It was probably the most fun you ever would have had over the summer, but you felt like something was blocking you from feeling liberated. All you could do was stare at the fish swimming around and feel like something was missing from the bigger picture.

Yukhei seemed to notice, too, but he kept quiet. Yet, every day, he would come back and act as if nothing happened.

Just like today.

Yukhei’s knees brushed against yours as you sat together on his couch. His laptop’s weight was distributed evenly on each of your thighs, playing some Ted Bundy documentary that you could care less about. (You had already binged every possible documentary on the serial killer over your summer break.) Yukhei’s face was too close to yours. Your hair was brushing against his cheek, and any other guy would have gotten annoyed right off the bat.

Yuta probably would have.

But Yukhei was sweet. Too sweet for his own good.

As if he could read your mind, Yukhei asked, “Do you still think about Yuta?”

You blinked up at him. His question was so out-of-the-blue that you weren’t even sure if he meant to verbalize it. Did you still think about Yuta? Far too much. He was a broken record in your mind, constantly scratching over each painful memory. Time healed all wounds, but this one seemed to grow more painful as Yuta grew more distant.

Somewhere in Yukhei’s big heart, he knew he didn’t stand a chance. Maybe your relationship with him was just that fragile, where you could just grab the string binding you and Yukhei together and snip it completely.

Do you still think about Yuta?

God, your toes curled when you thought about the effect Yuta had on you. His perfect lips on yours, together burning a fire hotter than you could ever have with anyone else. You underwent a complete transformation from someone who cared too little to someone who cared too much, all because you were so ashamed of what you did to Yuta. You wanted a refund because it hurt to care so much for someone who you couldn’t have. Even though Yuta was stuck in your head, you knew in your heart that he deserved better than someone like you.

So you settled for a robotic “no” and turned your attention back to the screen.

Yukhei didn’t back down; he had never been one to drop an unresolved issue, which was one of the many things you hated and liked about him.

He swallowed. “Y/N, that wasn’t sincere at all.”

His words bounced in your skull. Settled. Bounced again.

Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, you repeated in your head. Your eyes were trained on the laptop screen, suddenly immersed in the documentary you had already watched.

“What do you want me to say?” you bit out, keeping your jaw tight. You didn’t even know what was going on in the documentary. You just watched Ted Bundy blabber in the courtroom while you tried to shut Yukhei out. “You already know, don’t you?”

He paused, the words caught in his throat for a moment before he mumbled, “Then don’t say anything.” His voice was so soft and it shattered like glass. So fucking fragile. “Just kiss me.”

You stilled. The pain was heavy in Yukhei’s voice, and you felt like the biggest idiot.

You had always thought you were perceptive, too intelligent for your own good. You acknowledged that Yukhei was definitely attracted to you in some way, but you never realized how deep his feelings ran. Now you were coming to terms with the fact that you were so stupid—so goddamn stupid—and this was truly one of your greatest royal fuckups.

You were watching a crime documentary with him. Yukhei hated documentaries.

Fuck.

You dug your nail into the side of your thigh. “Do I even deserve that?”

“You deserve more than you think, Y/N.”

“Maybe, but not this—not this.”

You thought of loving someone and being loved back like feeling the sun from both sides.

The sun was shining but it was cold on the other side.

You finally looked at Yukhei—really looked at him. There was nothing. You felt nothing. Not even when he cupped your cheek with his big, warm hand. You looked at him with every ounce of emotion squeezed out from you, and god, he had never looked so handsome, but you felt absolutely nothing. Everything he wanted from you was never meant for him. Yukhei was painfully aware of that, but he still chased after you.

Why did you let him get close? Why did he have to fall for the wrong person?

You wanted to tell him the truth. You wanted to tell him that you couldn’t see yourself with him because you were hung up over Yuta. That it took you two deprived weeks to figure out that you had feelings for someone for years. That the only purpose of being here with him was to fill both of your voids.

But you were selfish, stupid, and so cruel that you couldn’t even believe yourself sometimes. You knew your relationship with Yukhei was pretty much over, but you had to crush it further. You wanted to break it into pieces. Shatter it until it was an unrecognizable mess, unable to be put together again. And you were not only breaking your relationship, you were breaking Yukhei.

So you kissed him.

And you hated it.

Yukhei was gentle with you, but the two of you were mismatched puzzle pieces. You didn’t belong together. Yukhei deserved so much more, and you couldn’t give that to him. Your heart was breaking with each tender movement of his lips, each caress of your cheek.

Skin on skin. You felt absolutely nothing. No spark. No fireworks. No tug in your heart. Nothing.

You never felt so ashamed of the person you were. Thoughtless, insensitive, self-centered—you had so much ugly in you, but you didn’t think you could escape it. You had already fucked things up with Yuta and you were destroying your relationship with Yukhei. You thought that you could excuse your destructive behavior but it was a deeply flawed perspective.

Yuta once said there was warmth in your heart, so you built up the courage to push Yukhei off of you.

The both of you didn’t say anything for a few moments, just catching your breath and looking away from each other. The tension was so thick you could feel it rising in your throat, choking you.

“It’s Yuta, isn’t it?” Yukhei asked softly.

You swallowed hard and nodded. “I’m sorry.”

You wanted to cry. Not because you broke Yukhei’s heart but because you knew that Yukhei would just understand and let you go. He would never want you to feel hurt because of him, and that only hurt you more. You let go of his hand, letting cold rejection burn at his fingertips.

“I’ll wait,” Yukhei said, as if his fear of losing you finally kicked in. “I can wait for you to figure it out if time’s what you need.” He looked pained but his gaze softened when he saw you breathing harder. Defeated, Yukhei gave up and added, “Go to him.”

“What?” Your voice came out smaller than you had expected.

“Let’s stop this before we hurt ourselves again.” Yukhei turned his body to face you again and clasped your hands. “Go to Yuta. You wouldn’t be trying to get over someone if you didn’t love them, Y/N.”

“I’m scared,” you admitted, staring down at his hands. If you just held his hands for long enough, then he wouldn’t leave you too. He wouldn’t go. You wouldn’t lose another friend. “What if I lose you both?”

“I’m not going to leave you because you rejected me,” Yukhei said, his tone growing more and more worrisome. You would have laughed if the situation wasn’t so sad; he got rejected, but you were the one being comforted. “Even if there’s nothing between us, I like you as a person, Y/N. We can be friends.”

This time, you laughed out loud. Bitter. Hysterical.

“Like me as a person?” you asked, brows raised. “Do you think I’m ‘warm’ too?”

“Honestly, you can be a bitch sometimes,” Yukhei deadpanned.

“Right. Thanks.”

He continued, “You’re scared of trusting others but you still let them in and give them everything. What I admire most, though, is how you speak your mind. You’re painfully straightforward, even when it doesn’t benefit you.”

You sucked in a sharp breath when you felt tears well up in your eyes. You mentally scolded yourself not to cave in and spill over.

Yukhei squeezed your hand and went on, “That’s the person you are. Be that person again.”

“I hate how I used to be,” you objected. “I never cared about anyone but myself.”

“You can find a balance.” He let go of your hands, his touch still lingering. “You probably don’t know it yourself, but you’ve been changing for the better a long time ago.”

“What?”

“You’ve always cared deeply,” Yukhei said. “You’re scared to let people in, but you still love with all you have. That’s why I’m still here. That’s why Taeyong’s still here.”

Yukhei pulled you into a tight embrace, but he no longer seemed scared of letting go.

Yukhei added softly, “Yuta’s still there too.”

You didn’t realize you were shaking until he placed his hand at the small of your back to keep you steady. You knew Yukhei would let go soon and go home. You knew you would be alone after this, but you still cried into his chest while you had him.

Despite breaking his heart a second time, you knew that Yukhei wasn’t the type to leave and let go.

He was different. He would stay.

You walked back to your house in a daze, feet dragging you all the way up to your room. It wasn’t that the conversation with Yukhei went wrong in the slightest. The both of you had agreed to stay close friends, but something still felt horrible. You felt like all of your billowing thoughts had just piled up until you collapsed under them.

As soon as you closed the door behind you, you sank to the ground. Your back was against the door, head tilted up and the heels of your palms digging into your eyes. You exhaled shakily and the sorrow settled. You pressed harder against the soft skin just under your eyes and wailed out something incomprehensible.

The solution was simple. You just had to talk to Yuta. It should have been easy, but you were far too ashamed of how you treated him, ashamed of how you never realized your feelings until they slapped you in the face.

You just had to apologize and say your outburst from the party was just an overreaction. You wanted to start over and make things right. If you just made everything clear to him, he’d understand and you wouldn’t feel so heavy. The guilt was eating you alive.

Moreover, you were scared of the shift in your relationship with him. You hated admitting it, but you liked the playful dynamic between you two.

It would never be the same again. It was like you and Yuta were tearing at the seams, coming undone. You never let yourself get as close as you could have been with Yuta, and he never tried to push anything you were uncomfortable with. Unfortunately, it was already too late when you came to realize how close you truly wanted to be.

You felt like you were in another dimension, always a layer away. Always.

This was your own fault, though. You broke your own heart. Yuta tried to offer you nothing but love and you were too scared to accept it. You were so scared of being unloved that you never gave yourself the chance to be loved.

God, Y/N, you’re embarrassing as hell, you scolded yourself. Crying over Yuta Nakamoto is the most pathetic thing you’ve ever done.

Now you were pacing. Tears were streaming down your damp cheeks, but you made no sound as you tugged at your hair and felt your heartbeat spike. The world underneath you shifted as you stumbled to your desk. Hands shaking. Unsteady. You were pretty sure you knocked over some valuables, but you couldn’t focus.

You’re worrying over nothing, the logical side of your brain supplied in a calm, clipped manner, while the other side was shutting down. Calm down.

Obviously, you didn’t listen to that.

Your phone rang and you picked it up without thinking. You froze up when you realized who it was. Yukhei must have contacted Taeyong before you could—a gesture you would have appreciated any other time, but you sounded pathetic right now. It was unfortunate that Taeyong had to have a heart so big.

“Y/N?”

“How did you know?” you asked.

“Yukhei.”

There was silence from his side, only amplifying the few choked sobs that escaped your lips. It was softer than the crescendo of ringing in your head.

Taeyong spoke up after a painfully awkward minute of you just crying, “I’m calling Yuta. Yukhei told me he’s the reason why you feel so bad, right? Because of your fight with him? You need to talk to him if you want to make things right.”

You pulled your head up from its position between your legs and shook your head, as if your outburst would stop Taeyong somehow. It wouldn’t. You knew it wouldn’t but, nevertheless, you wiped at your tears and started to protest.

“Taeyong? Are you listening to me? You can’t. You can’t call Yuta. You can’t.” The desperation in your voice was so ugly. “Lee Taeyong!”

Yuta was the last person you wanted to see right now. There was no answer from Taeyong so you pulled your phone away from your ear.

He hung up.

You’re fucked, you thought blankly.

Nothing scared you more than Yuta finding you in this state and not giving you the reaction you expected, so you decided not to give him the chance. You breathed in real deep, through the aching chest and everything.

Unfortunately, Yuta didn’t live too far away, so you only had minutes until he arrived. You could just not answer your door and keep him out, but something seized you from doing so. A part of you didn’t want to keep pushing people away and abandoning them on the other side.

However, you could hide from your problems, so you crawled into your bed and buried yourself under the sheets.

When everything was finally calm and still, the scuffling near your door ruined your feeling of stability. Your blood ran cold for a second, thinking it was an intruder. You supposed it was Yuta; you could almost feel his presence on the other side, and you were anticipating his dreaded knock. Instead of proper manners, Yuta simply opened the door and walked in. You closed your eyes tighter and felt a dip in your bed, sinking to the side you were facing away from.

“Are you sitting on my bed?” you murmured, suddenly too irritated to stay quiet.

“Yeah,” Yuta replied flatly.

“You sound quite worried,” you retorted sarcastically and sat up, trying to appear all light and airy. There was confusion drawn on Yuta’s face; he was taken aback by your surprisingly pleasant disposition, and truthfully, you were as well. “Long time, no see.”

Yuta sounded different. He was on edge, panicked. It was different from all the times he would tease you endlessly over something he found amusing. “What happened? What’s wrong?” he asked, searching your face for an answer.

You smiled, although faint melancholy was tucked away in the curl of your lip. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

“You’re good at being fine, aren’t you?”

A lone tear made its way down your cheek, and you wiped at it furiously. This was absolutely embarrassing. Yuta was the third man you cried in front of today. You hated appearing this vulnerable, but Yuta, Yukhei, and Taeyong intruded in your life like the Three Musketeers of Emotional Trauma.

“I’ve never seen you cry,” Yuta hummed, reaching over to wipe your tears with his thumb. He cradled your face with his hand and used his free hand to brush your hair off of your face. “Two Yuta-less weeks must have been distressing.”

You choked out a weak laugh. You weren’t sure if you were crying over anymore. Maybe it was the fact that Yuta was in front of you, maybe it was because he was seeing you at your worst, or maybe it was because you had him right here and it wasn’t as scary as you expected it to be. The chances of you making up with him were looking up.

“More like destressing,” you retaliated.

“Sure. Did destressing work out for you?”

“I’ve become a better person without you around,” you fired back, tilting your chin up and sniffling. “I think.”

“Because of me, you mean,” Yuta corrected, like he had been filled in on everything that had happened the two weeks prior. You were sure he hadn’t, but even if he was, you didn’t mind.

This was a feeling of normalcy that comforted you.

“Can we start over as friends this time?” you asked, sticking your hand out for him to shake. “Hi, I’m Y/N, and my personality consists of me being insensitive and thinking I’m superior to everyone.”

The corner of Yuta’s mouth rose as he took your hand firmly. “Hey, I’m Yuta Nakamoto, and my personality consists of being an asshole and making fun of cute girls named Y/N.”

You deliberately chose to ignore the fact he called you cute and suggested, “Change your introduction.”

“Change yours,” Yuta pressed. “Insensitive with a superiority complex doesn’t scream character development to me.”

“Fine.” You huffed and started, “Hi, I’m Y/N, and I care for my friends a lot. I’m also working a lot on myself and on not shutting out everyone who tries to get close to me.”

Yuta smiled so brightly that all your previous worries had washed away completely. It was so wholesome that you mentally forgave Taeyong for throwing you out to the wolves in your broken state. You were convinced it was the right decision, as stressful as it had seemed before.

Maybe Yuta would stay now.

Maybe he always had.

You didn’t remember your dream, but you abruptly woke up in a cold sweat.

You were ripped from your unconscious, shaken and still trying to convince yourself you had all bones and ligaments in place. Your heartbeat was louder than the deafening patter of rain against your window. The way the blood rushed in your ears was almost painful, but you were too cold and numb to try and block out the sound.

“Nightmare?” came your mother’s gentle voice.

You hadn’t even realized she was in the room. She must have walked in while you were stirring from your sleep. You already knew what to expect. Whenever she was awake at such an ungodly hour, it was to say goodbye.

However, you didn’t respond to her question. Your uneven breathing was confirmation enough.

“Leaving again?” you asked, staring at your ceiling as you tried to ground yourself from the dream you were floating in.

“It’s just for the day. I trust you won’t ruin the house during your birthday,” she replied, sitting at the edge of your bed to reach over and stroke your hair. “What was your dream about?”

“I think I ran over Yuta Nakamoto with my Bugatti.”

“Lovely,” your mother glossed over. “Well, I’ll be back tonight, and your dad will probably send you your allowance… wherever he is.”

“Nice of him to abandon us but not my allowance,” you remarked.

Your mother always had a strange look on her face whenever your father was brought up. Three years ago, your father disappeared without a trace. You had suspected it was the result of a fight with your mom, so instead of getting upset and furious, you decided to wait for him to return and explain himself.

He never did.

Back then, you felt like it had been something he planned, like he had decided to wait until you were grown up so he could get away from his family. You were a mess at first, infuriated with how your mother forbade you from trying to look for him. There was something suspicious about it all but you didn’t want to pry until you got hurt. You would be lying if you said you weren’t resentful, but you still hoped for his return one day.

Thinking about your father always made your head hurt. You closed your eyes, lips pressed in a thin line.

“See you tonight,” you murmured sleepily, turning onto your side to look at your mother before she left.

She set a small box by your head. “Happy birthday, Y/N,” she said.

Oh right. You were a year older today.

You picked up the box, gauging its weight. “Thanks.”

She smiled and waved goodbye before closing your door again. You heard heels clicking against linoleum and then a door shutting in the distance. She was gone again. You didn’t know how to feel about it.

You were a year older but it didn’t feel like anything special. Birthdays always just felt like any other day most of the time, but today was especially unextraordinary. It was a rather depressing way to start your break, but you weren’t expecting much anyway. The only person you counted on was Taeyong (unless it had to do with driving; he was kind of useless in that regard).

You picked up your phone and saw a couple of texts from him that were sent around midnight. A small smile curled at your lips at his long message wishing you a happy birthday. His last message, which was sent only ten minutes ago, caught your eye.

taeyong: look for a surprise outside your door in 15 min! pls be awake

You raised a brow. Was he back from camp already? At least he was trying to give you a proper birthday experience, but you couldn’t help but feel like Taeyong was up to something.

You heard your ringer go off again and frowned. You didn’t think anyone else would contact you. Your eyes widened in surprise when you saw Yukhei’s name appear on your phone. You were glad he didn’t take rejection badly because you would’ve felt emptier if he completely removed himself from your life.

yukhei: happy birthday, y/n :)

You were surprised at how three simple words could make you so happy. You bit down your smile and sent back a message to thank him for wishing you.

Friends.

The word felt right on your lips. Although it was a word that once terrified you, it felt like the missing puzzle piece between you and Yukhei. You both could start over like this and make it work, so maybe you and Yuta still had a chance to be close again, too.

Your thumb ran along the side of your phone. Some part of your brain was itching to call Yuta. The both of you had rebranded as friends but something still felt awkward about contacting him for small things.

You groaned.

You never thought of yourself as a shit person before your meltdown in front of Yukhei, but the unexpected humanity that was circulating in your head made you sick.

Another thing that kept bothering you was your kiss with Yuta. You weren’t even sure if it was you talking or your hormones, but either way, you couldn’t get that kiss out of your head. Each time you closed your eyes, you could feel Yuta’s warmth closing in on you again.

A knock at your door forced you to surface from your piling thoughts.

Taeyong? Was he really back?

You dragged yourself out of bed and went downstairs, running a hand through your messy hair in an attempt to keep it tame. You grew a touch nervous at the thought that Taeyong could have brought over dozens of people to celebrate your birthday. If you saw Yuta, you were definitely going to pull whatever your father did and disappear into thin air.

Because the universe hated pretty people, Yuta Nakamoto was at your door with a shit-eating grin on his face. Speak of the devil and he shall arrive at your door with a birthday present.

“Yuta,” you greeted through gritted teeth, “what are you doing outside my house at five in the morning?”

Yuta snickered at your appearance. “Good morning, sunshine.” He held out a white box with a red ribbon, practically thrusting it into your hands. “Happy birthday, by the way.”

“Is this from Taeyong?”

“Indeed. Good friend you’ve got there. He had it picked out for you before he left and left it for me to deliver.”

You frowned down at the box. Why didn’t Taeyong just drive over and give it to you himself? You nearly laughed at your own thought, quickly remembering that he couldn’t drive at the moment. But why didn’t he just tag along with Yuta and give you his present himself?

Unless, you realized, Taeyong really wasn’t back and you were stuck with Yuta Nakamoto.

Yuta, on the other hand, didn’t move from the front of your door. He hung around like some nagging fruit fly, looking around your foyer in awe. It made you anxious when you couldn’t tell what was on his mind.

Moreover, you were shocked at how unaffected he seemed, considering how tense the both of you were before yesterday. Well, that was Yuta for you—unbothered and unfazed.

“Can I help you?” you asked. When he shrugged, you sighed and grabbed your wallet from the coffee table, pulling out whatever note your fingers fished out first. “Delivery and tip. You can keep the change.”

“I’m not UberEats.” Yuta scoffed, pushing the cash away. “Open the box.”

You narrowed your eyes and set the gift box on the coffee table so that you could open it. Yuta stood in the doorway and observed quietly, folding his arms across his chest. You lifted the lid and tossed the white wrapping paper to the side to reveal a denim jacket. You pursed your lips, impressed with the selection; you could always trust Taeyong’s taste.

“Too cheap for you?” Yuta teased.

You glared at him. “I never said that. It’s nice.” You turned to face him completely and sized him up. “I’m not that shallow… at least, not anymore.”

Yuta scoffed, rather charmed by your answer. You heard your ringer go off and pulled out your phone.

taeyong: hi y/n! sorry i couldn't be there in person :( my mom ended up sending me to tutoring camp, but in place of me, yuta’s your birthday present, so he’s going to make your day memorable in my place! i hope you have a great day and don’t kill each other

taeyong: or me

taeyong: don’t kill me pls

You looked up at Yuta, horrified. He met your gaze, seemingly innocent, and started clapping his hands to a steady beat.

“Happy birthday to you, happy—”

“Oh my god, please don’t sing right now,” you interrupted, shuddering at the thought of Yuta Nakamoto wearing nothing but a ribbon and singing a little jingle for you.

“It’s your birthday,” Yuta said. “Where’s your birthday suit?”

You threw the lid to the gift box at him. “You’re vile.” You stood up and caught Yuta’s eyes scanning your body, and you narrowed your eyes at him, suspecting that he was judging your nightwear. “What do you want? I got the present so you can leave now.”

“Didn’t Taeyong tell you?” Yuta raised a brow. “I’m your birthday present, so we’re going hiking.”

You nearly choked on air. “Excuse me? Hiking?”

Yuta smiled and made a hand gesture to shoo you upstairs. “Go wear something comfy, princess.”

You felt unsettled by the sudden plan but ran upstairs to change into attire that was more suitable for hiking. You didn’t think you had ever even been hiking before, and you weren’t sure if you were going to like it one bit. However, you had no other plans for the day so you supposed it wouldn’t hurt to go with the flow.

When you were fitted in proper clothing, you went back downstairs to get Yuta’s approval. You had to wear the denim jacket, of course; otherwise, it would feel wrong not to utilize Taeyong’s gift. He deemed that you were ready to hike and led you to his silver truck. Sitting in his passenger’s seat only made you think about the night of the party, how you snapped at him and practically broke his heart with a single word.

Awkward, you thought, your entire nervous system wanting to capsize at the thought of all the emotional baggage you had carried.

“So where exactly are we going?” you asked.

“Hiking.”

Nice.

The drive to the unknown hiking location was relatively quiet, but it wasn’t the uncomfortable kind of silence that made your skin crawl. Yuta rolled down the windows so you could enjoy the breeze in the balmy weather. You smiled and looked out at the hills passing by until Yuta stopped the car in a parking lot.

You looked over at him and nearly jumped when you realized he was also looking at you. Yuta looked like he was going to say something important, but his mind rerouted and he snapped back into reality.

“This is one of my favorite trails,” he said.

“Cool.” You peered out the window to look at the entrance. “So are we just gonna stare at it or are we actually gonna go hike it?”

Yuta snorted. “Very funny. Hope you can keep up.”

You opened your door and got out of the car as soon as he did. You hadn’t packed more than a water bottle so you were hoping the hike wouldn’t be too long. Yuta seemed like the type to go on insane hikes and consider them baby steps, but hopefully, he would be considerate since it was your birthday.

You grabbed your water bottle and jogged a little to catch up to him. Yuta led you out of the parking lot and onto the trail. The change in terrain from pavement to dirt and rocks was already making you fight the urge to complain.

“We should hike fast,” Yuta said. “I wanna get to the peak before sunrise.”

“Sunrise?” you asked, shocked. “Are you kidding? How are we gonna get all the way up there?”

“It’s not as far as it looks,” Yuta said, grinning at your reaction. He nudged your shoulder. “I could carry you and run if we’re really running late.”

“I’ll pass,” you dismissed. “That sounds like an accident waiting to happen.”

“Can’t be that bad,” Yuta said, throwing a cautious look at you over his shoulder. “It’s not like we haven’t been that close before.”

Something burst in your chest at his words, the heat spreading out to your limbs and making you feel like jelly. You didn’t expect Yuta to recall that moment so brashly, especially when the both of you had just started getting on good terms again.

Things were different now, though. You no longer suppressed the fact that you liked kissing Yuta; instead, you accepted it internally, but you were too shy to admit it to him.

You wondered how Yuta would react if he found out that you actually enjoyed the kiss. His attraction for you was something that was understood but left unspoken between you both, but you weren’t sure how he’d feel if he found out that you started to feel conscious of your feelings around him. The events unfolding in your head seemed to all end with your pride being wounded, so you weren’t too keen on indulging in the idea.

“Not really,” you replied. “You moved off of me when you got a hard-on.”

Combating embarrassment with even more embarrassment didn’t seem to help your case. On the bright side, though, now you had Yuta Nakamoto completely flustered. You had to stifle your laugh when he nearly tripped over a loose rock on the trail.

“You felt that?” he asked, voice pitched higher than usual. You fought down your smile when you saw how red he was getting, but Yuta’s confidence seemed to return after you nodded. “Well, did it feel good?”

“I’ll push you off the mountain when we get to the top.”

Yuta laughed loudly. “Oh, this is great!” he exclaimed. He was peppier than ever, even slowing down so he wasn’t all the way in front of you. “I was the sexual awakening for Walmart Paris Hilton.”

The gasp flew out of your mouth faster than your brain could process his words, hitting his shoulder in tune with it. “You were not my sexual awakening! Also, that was offensive. Never call me that again.”

“So you had one?” Yuta pressed.

“I didn’t say that.”

“You implied it.”

“No, I didn’t!”

“Then why’d you enunciate the ‘you’ like that?”

“Why are we even talking about this?”

“I’m just curious.”

“No, you’re gross.”

You panted a little as you exerted a final burst of energy to make your way to the peak. Yuta was on your heels, whistling lowly once the both of you had reached the top.

You had made it just in time for the sunrise. You could see the glow of the sun peeking out from the mountain ridges ahead. It bloomed over the stretch of the horizon, pink and orange petals of fluffy clouds kissing the sky. You had always seen the beauty of sunrises from behind a camera or on a screen. Never had you experienced one like this in the flesh.

At this altitude, you felt connected to the sky and the sun and everything around you. All the riches in the world couldn’t buy you a moment quite like this.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Yuta murmured from beside you.

“Yeah,” you replied, winded and awe-struck.

When you turned to face Yuta, however, he wasn’t looking at the sunrise. He was looking at you.

His expression sent butterflies straight to your stomach and made your head spin. Your summer had not been going as planned. You were supposed to be vacationing in some resort in your bikini, not hiking up a mountain with Yuta Nakamoto who looked like he wanted to kiss you.

You definitely weren’t supposed to be wanting to kiss him back.

This was déjà vu to you, but with Yuta, you felt as if time hadn’t frozen but rather melted all around you until it ceased to exist. Yuta’s gaze felt like the promise of a forever when his eyes fixed on yours. You could have held it forever, but before you could say something, Yuta was already closing the space between you.

“Happy birthday, Y/N.”

And he kissed you.

You’ve kissed Yuta before. For some reason, this time around felt so much more different. Before, it was rushed, urgent, thoughtless. It was an act of lust where neither of you truly had control or reason behind your feelings or actions. Now, however, you and Yuta kissed like you had all the time in the world, like the sun and its stars stopped just for you. The air around you both stilled as time slipped by, crumbling under your feet and shattering the sky above.

Your lips fit perfectly with his, although your movements felt unsure and uncertain. This time, you both were sober and timid with each other, not really knowing how to hold each other or how to stay in sync. As Yuta’s hand rose to grab the back of your neck, you felt every worry you ever had about him wash away and vanish into the far recesses of your mind. It obliterated every rational thought in your head and left behind desire swirling inside your chest.

When Yuta pulled away, you were still in the clouds with the taste of his lips lingering.

“You dick,” you said, trying to keep your voice stable and your expression placid. “This isn’t starting over as friends.”

Yuta grinned. His hand cupped your cheek so tenderly that you could hardly believe this was the same guy who got mad at you for stealing his favorite parking spot.

He was far more expressive than you had expected. Little did Yuta know that you felt the same electricity, but you were just better at hiding it.

“How was that for a birthday gift?” he asked. You tried to avert your gaze but Yuta made it impossible by the way he was holding your face.

“Good.” You coughed, heat creeping to your cheeks. “Great, I guess.”

“Y/N,” Yuta started, his face settling into a more serious expression, “I like you a lot. I like you so much that I’m giving it my all even after you broke my heart once—”

“Damn, your whole heart?” you interrupted.

“Yes, which I will graciously look past,” Yuta continued, “but will you go out with me?”

You felt like you were flying.

Your body felt light and you could hardly register that the ground was beneath you. This question was quite possibly the most terrifying thing someone could ever ask you, but when Yuta said it, you felt so inexplicably happy. If you knew how to express your emotions better, you would’ve crushed him in a hug, but now you were so overwhelmed that you felt like crying.

“Oh no.” Yuta dropped his hand and took a step back. He looked stuck between amused and terrified. “You’re about to reject me and run to Taeyong, aren’t you?”

You choked out a laugh and grabbed his arm, pulling him back to you. “Don’t be stupid. I’ve been waiting for you to ask me. I didn’t think you would ask me on my birthday, though, so maybe you’re a prick for trying to make my birthday our anniversary. Hold on, my brain’s trying to figure out how to say yes without sounding like an apathetic bitch.”

“Apathetic bitch works for me if it’s coming from you,” Yuta admitted, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer to him. “You’re my apathetic bitch.”

“Not sure if I vibe with that.”

“Then I’ll call you princess as usual,” Yuta replied, lips curving into a smirk. “Get ready to be spoiled tonight, Y/N.”

You scrunched up your nose. “Spoiled? Did you buy me a gift?”

Yuta nearly choked. He stared at you like he was waiting for you to make a joke, but you could only blink at him and wait for him to elaborate. You wondered what in the world Yuta had thought of getting for you. You seriously couldn’t imagine him being sentimental enough to get you a material item.

“There’s no way you’re that innocent,” Yuta said in disbelief. “You didn’t pick up my innuendo at all?”

It was your turn to choke up. “What innuendo?”

Yuta chuckled, still shocked by your reaction, and let his hands travel down to your hips. He leaned in until his lips were by your ear. His hot breath fanned your neck for a moment and made you shiver.

“It means I’m going to make you feel good tonight,” he said in a darker, huskier voice. “Are you okay with me ruining your innocence?”

You swallowed. You had kissed boys here and there, but you had never gone past that level. You had no expertise in the field of anything remotely sexual. It felt like you were skipping from first base and going all the way to home plate, but it wasn’t like you never had those thoughts.

It was true that you had been a tad frustrated since your kiss with Yuta. It was too rushed, too short, and left you wanting more. You would never admit that to Yuta, but you were eager to relive that experience. While you weren’t too clear on what he meant by ruining your innocence, the way Yuta was looking at you had you yearning to find out.

You felt like Yuta was slowly closing in on you, even as you took a step back. Your brain was trying to figure out how to say yes without immediately wanting to crawl in a hole and die.

“What exactly do you mean by ruining my innocence?” you asked, glancing over your shoulder when you felt solid bark against your bark. Yuta had walked you all the way back against a sturdy tree.

“Well,” Yuta started, raising his brows, “sex, obviously.”

That was the clear-cut answer you had been expecting. Deep down, you knew what he was implying, but hearing it from his lips impacted you harder than you thought it would. You were sure your legs would’ve buckled under you when you saw his pupils dilate and his gaze drop to your lips.

Shouldn’t he at least take me out to dinner first? the logical part of your brain questioned.

Well if I’m the meal, then that shouldn’t be a problem, your overpowering libido argued.

“Right,” you mumbled, biting your lip when he had you cornered against the tree. “Then you better make me feel good.”

“Here?” Yuta looked surprised.

You looked around and shrugged. “I mean, there’s no one around.”

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this,” Yuta murmured.

Taeyong, I am so sorry your roommate’s about to fuck me in the jacket you got me, you tried to telepathically apologize to your best friend, although you supposed you were putting both of his gifts to use.

“You’ve never had sex before, have you?” Yuta asked. You shook your head and he continued, “I’m not taking your first time against a tree, but tell me what you’ve done.”

“Well—” You were cut short when Yuta ducked his head and started nipping at the juncture between your neck and shoulder. Your breath got caught in your throat for a second, but you quickly pulled yourself together and continued, “I haven’t done that much, just—fuck—like, kissed.”

“That’s it?” Yuta asked.

You hummed, nodding fervently; you didn’t trust yourself to speak, knowing that only a warble would come out. Yuta just chuckled and continued his actions. You were distracted by the bruising grip of his fingers around your hips and the love bites he made down to your chest.

“I heard you and Yukhei got close,” he added. “Heard some stuff here and there from Taeyong.”

You groaned. You were seriously going to kill him for ruining the mood, but each bite and tug to your skin only redeemed Yuta. Your hand found its way to curl into Yuta’s hair, tugging his locks to encourage him.

“We’re friends,” you said. “Just friends.”

“Cool,” Yuta mumbled against your skin, tugging your shirt down to press a kiss to the swell of your breast. “He’s chill.”

You huffed. “Yes, but can you quit teasing?”

Yuta pulled back, eyes boring into yours with such an intense ferocity that you almost forgot where you were for a second. “Let me eat you out,” he whispered.

Your brain was doing mental gymnastics to calculate just how many bases you were skipping here.

But all you could do was agree with a firm “yes,” pulling Yuta closer by the front of his shirt.

You had never even thought of anyone going anywhere below the belt, but before you knew it, Yuta was tugging down your leggings and sliding two long fingers along your slit. You let out a sound somewhere between a broken moan and a gasp, grabbing onto Yuta’s arms to steady yourself. Your hands traveled up to his shoulders so you had more stability.

“You’re so wet, princess,” he cooed, going faster with his fingers. “All for me.”

His words were pure filth, and you usually would have been reprimanding him for speaking to you like that, but now they were bouncing off of you like elastic. Before you could even catch your breath, Yuta lowered himself to his knees. You lost your grip on his shoulders and settled for sliding your hands into his hair. Shaky breaths and soft moans spilled from your lips when Yuta used his fingers to part your lips and seal his lips over your clit.

The excitement of possibly getting caught and the new sensation Yuta was showing you was far too much to process all at once. Your head hit the trunk of the tree, sweet mewls only rousing Yuta to groan and send a vibration through you. For a split second, you met his lustful eyes while he was under you, and you felt like you were going to break apart then and there.

Yuta wasn’t much of a gentle person. Passionate? Yes, but gentle was a stretch. This was clear as he didn’t hesitate to slide his tongue all the way into your pussy. You yelped out in surprise, desperately trying to stay planted on two feet; you surely would’ve fallen over if Yuta wasn’t holding your thighs so firmly.

“Yuta!” you gasped out, clenching around him when you felt him slip a finger beside his tongue.

He pulled his face back to look at you, but his fingers were still working at your pussy, one fingering your core and another circling your clit. A wicked smirk curled at Yuta’s lips and the glint in his eyes was insatiable.

“How does that feel?” he asked, slipping another finger inside before you could come up with a coherent answer. “Use your words, Y/N.”

Words. Words were not working. Your brain was struggling to piece words together into something comprehensible. Instead, you let out a pitiful whine and tugged at Yuta’s hair. Rather than shutting up and giving you what you wanted, though, Yuta only teased you further.

“What was that?” he taunted. “Does my princess want something? My tongue isn’t going anywhere. Just say the words.”

Your body jolted a little and you let a mewl slip when you felt Yuta curl his fingers inside you. “Finish… finish me off,” you begged.

“You’re so fucking hot when you beg,” Yuta growled, slowing his fingers down, “but you can do better than that, Y/N.”

Your cheeks were on fire. “Please,” you begged, desperation breaking you down, “please finish me off, Yuta.”

Yuta grinned and returned to replace his thumb over your clit with his lips, sucking on it gently and humming occasionally to send a steady thrum of vibrations against the bundle of nerves. His two fingers worked in and out of you so expertly that you could hardly breathe, and you were sure it wasn’t just because of the altitude.

“God, I’m so close,” you cried out.

Your head lolled to your shoulder, anticipating the release of the passion building up inside of you. Yuta’s sucking only got harsher, his fingers speeding up at your cue, and you were coaxed over the edge finally after his fingers curled inside of you again.

There was a delighted gleam in Yuta’s eyes as he watched you fall apart. You had seen it before. Seen it when he won a basketball game. Seen it when he won an argument with you. Seen it the night you agreed to kiss him.

The feeling that washed over you was something you had never experienced. It was a rush of euphoria. It was a realm beyond your imagination. You felt like the world had melted away until it was just you and Yuta together.

“Wow,” you breathed out, still buzzing from your orgasm.

Yuta let out a heavy breath himself, licking your release off of his fingers one by one. He kept his gaze trained on you even as you tugged your leggings back up. The way Yuta looked at you already made it clear that he wasn’t going to ask you how it was because he knew how good he made you feel. He got back up to his feet so that he was towering over you again. You were suddenly terrified. If this was how good he was with his fingers and mouth, then you were in for a long night when he planned to use his dick.

Yuta let out a light laugh and glanced around. “Good thing no one else decided to hike up here today.”

“Maybe we should be a more traditional couple,” you suggested. “Leave the private stuff in the bedroom instead of getting it on at parties and during hikes.”

“Where’s the fun in that? I’m sure the lawn chair and tree were more than happy to bear witness to our sexual activity.”

You punched his arm playfully, slightly revolted. “Speaking of, I don’t think we should tell people we’re dating yet. I don’t want people thinking you’re my rebound or something.”

Yuta whistled lowly, impressed with your answer. “You had me worried there for a second, but you really care about me, don’t you?” His teasing was enough to make your cheeks feel hot again, but thankfully Yuta pulled you to his chest so he couldn’t see your expression. “I was sort of thinking the same thing. It would be weird since we were basically trying to kill each other the last time everyone saw us, so we should ease into it.”

“Let’s make it public by the end of summer,” you said, burying your face into his chest.

“Deal.”

“For your information, I mean our relationship, not our sex life.”

Yuta paused. “Fine.”

You were content with the way your birthday ended. Yuta had dropped you off after your hike (and a couple of makeout sessions along the way; you had to test out your new boyfriend, after all), so you were ready to spend the rest of your birthday doing nothing. There was a small twinge of disappointment when you realized it was only noon, though. Taeyong usually spent your birthdays with you, so you weren’t excited to be alone for the rest of the day.

Whoever was watching over you, though, seemed to grant your birthday wishes almost instantaneously. Your phone ringer went off, and you picked it up immediately, hoping it was either Yuta or Taeyong.

To your surprise, you got two texts from Yuta and Yukhei.

yuta: i’ll pick you up at eight tonight

yukhei: can i come over rn?

Your eyebrows raised at both messages. You confirmed with Yuta, not even asking what he had planned because you guessed it was going to be a surprise anyway. Your fingers hovered over the keyboard before you responded to Yukhei, though. You weren’t sure what he wanted, but you did want to see him, so you sent him a quick text saying you were free.

While you waited for Yukhei, you remembered you forgot to open the present your mother got for you. You had been so caught up after Taeyong texted you that you abandoned it in your room. You headed upstairs and founded it stranded beside your pillow.

You picked up the white box and ran your finger along the smooth surface before opening it, marvelling at the gold locket that sat on a red cushion.

A small smile made its way to your lips. You had pointed out the exact locket before, going on about how badly you wanted it even though you would have nothing to put in it. Back then, it was more because you didn’t want to bother locking anything inside of your heart, but this time, you had something you wanted to protect.

Your doorbell rang as soon as you texted your mom a thank you message. You left the box on your nightstand and headed downstairs to get the door. When you opened it, Yukhei stood outside with a wide grin on his face.

He beamed, holding out a gift bag in your direction. “Happy birthday, Y/N.”

You graciously took the bag and held the door open wider so that he would come in. “You actually got me something?”

Yukhei walked in and snickered, holding up a plastic bag in his other hand. “I know you didn’t drink last night, but I also brought takeout.”

“Well, then I guess we have to eat it together,” you said, a smile tugging at your lips. You took the bag and headed to your dining table. “Come on.”

Yukhei was already familiar with your house. With his large build, his steps were overtaking yours but he already knew where to go. You were glad he didn’t feel too awkward after you had rejected him. You noticed subtle things like his hesitation when he was debating whether to hug you or not, but you were glad there was nothing strikingly awkward about his actions.

You took out the takeout boxes and set them on the table, pushing the box of noodles to the side of the table where Yukhei was sitting and leaving the orange chicken on your side. As soon as the utensils were distributed, the both of you dug in.

“What’d you get me?” you asked. You pulled the bag onto your lap and looked up at Yukhei. “Should I be scared?”

“I’m the one who should be scared,” Yukhei said. “I don’t know your taste in fashion that well, but I tried.”

Curious, you peeled the wrapping paper away and pulled out a familiar denim jacket. You turned it around a few times to confirm that yes, it was the exact same jacket that Taeyong had gotten you. Did men just have a default list of gifts for girls? Yukhei looked more excited about your present than you were, though, so you decided to pretend you had never seen it before.

You had to make sure you never wore it around Yuta. You had already defiled Taeyong’s jacket in front of him; you couldn’t do that to Yukhei.

“It’s cute!” you exclaimed, hoping you didn’t sound as fake as you felt.

“I thought it would look good on you,” Yukhei said, scooping up a bunch of noodles with his chopsticks. “By the way, I don’t know if it’s just because it’s your birthday or whatever, but you look way happier.”

“I am,” you answered softly, thinking back on the past few days. So much had happened, and a person couldn’t change that fast, but a part of you felt more appreciative about all the love around you. “I couldn’t have made up with Yuta without you, so thank you.”

Yukhei smiled, the dimple on his right cheek appearing. “Good. I would’ve been driving you over to his place right now if you didn’t.”

Seeing Yukhei so genuinely supportive and happy for you made your heart swell. A friend who cared so deeply about you was more than you could ask for, so you knew you had to tell him what happened between you and Yuta. After all, Yukhei was the one who had been pushing you to accept your feelings.

“We’re dating now,” you said, a breathless laugh following soon after. “He asked me out this morning, actually. We’re keeping it a secret until people forget we hate each other’s guts, but I wanted to tell you since you’re the one who motivated me.”

“I’m happy for you, Y/N. Really, I am.”

Those were the only words that mattered. Yukhei’s grinning face had made it clear for you that you lived such a reserved life. You refused to let people in without even giving them a chance. You kept those you accepted at a distance, fearing the closeness would teeter everything in your life off-kilter.

This whole time, you felt like you had Yukhei by the stings, controlling the way his heart pulsed and ached for you. Because of this, you wanted to distance yourself from him before you hurt him even more. However, now you realized just how wrong you were.

Yukhei might have liked you, but his feelings of love never triumphed over friendship.

At last, you were content.

Minutes felt like hours.

Yuta was supposed to pick you up in ten minutes, but you were pretty sure your clock was messed up because you were certain at least twenty minutes were going by before each minute ticked off. Your patience was wearing thin and you were almost about to snap at your boyfriend for not showing up ten minutes early like a gentleman.

Who was he to make you wait, anyway? You got up from your couch and headed upstairs, exaggerating each step because you were frustrated and petty. However, you heard your phone go off downstairs and you bolted.

You picked up your phone and grimaced. Just as you thought, you received a text from Yuta.

yuta: i’m outside

You supposed five minutes early wasn’t too shabby.

you: come inside first

yuta: ayo is this going where i think it is?

you: ew. probably not

You heard your doorbell ring immediately after, and when you opened it, Yuta stood outside, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. He looked anxious for your date and it was throwing you off. Despite his nerves, though, Yuta dressed for the boyfriend role quite well. You felt much more at ease in your casual clothing knowing he also dressed casually.

You wanted to give him a hug. Gross.

“Are you just gonna stand there?” you asked, tugging his arm. “Come inside already.”

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Yuta laughed and gave you a once-over. “You don’t have to change. You look really good like that.”

You scrunched up your nose at his compliment. “I didn’t call you inside for that,” you said and held up your polaroid. “I want to take a picture.”

Yuta took it from your hands and turned it on. “What’s the occasion?”

“My mom got me this locket for my birthday, so I thought I’d keep a picture of us on one side,” you said, nearly faltering when Yuta wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you close for the picture. “Wait! We need to be further away so that we’re tiny in the picture.”

“I don’t see how that’s gonna work unless you have some kind of polaroid selfie stick.”

“Then stand back and let me take one of just you,” you suggested, taking the polaroid from his hands and standing back to take the picture.

You smiled at how flustered Yuta looked. He positioned himself beside the window, holding an awkward peace sign up and smiling for you. Despite how rigid he was, his smile was probably one of the most breathtaking things you had ever seen. He lit up the entire room.

You squinted to focus on Yuta before clicking the shutter button. The film started processing as soon as you snapped the picture and you were practically jumping to see the result. Yuta bit his lip, endeared, and walked over to you. You pulled the film from the camera and started shaking it in the air so it would dry faster.

“How do I look?” he asked, taking the polaroid from you while you were occupied with his picture.

“It’s not ready yet,” you whined, anticipation bubbling up in your throat. At that moment, a flash went off and you looked up, shocked, only to see Yuta taking a picture of you. “I wasn’t ready!”

Yuta grinned and held the polaroid up before you could grab it from him. “I’m keeping this one.”

“What if I look bad?” you asked with a pout, getting on your toes to reach for the film.

“You never look bad.”

“Okay, then in the earth-shattering event that I happen to look terrible, give it back to me.”

“You’d still look cute.”

You gave up on trying to get Yuta to give in when your film finally processed. A smile tugged at your lips when you saw how it turned out. The lighting wasn’t the best but Yuta’s smile was so radiant that it didn’t seem to matter that the rest of the room looked dark.

Then, you realized there was a pressing issue.

“You’re too big,” you observed. “I can’t fit your whole face in my locket.”

Yuta tucked the polaroid of you in his pocket and frowned. “We can take another—”

“I’ll just cut one of your facial features out and keep it in there,” you decided.

“Are you even allowed to cut those?” he asked, looking concerned when you shrugged.

Yuta watched in horror as you used eeny, meeny, mini, moe to choose which facial feature you would keep in your locket. Your finger landed on his nose and you hummed in satisfaction. You moved to the kitchen to grab a pair of scissors and started cutting out his nose in the picture.

“You’re defiling my face,” Yuta said, wincing at how you cut his picture in half without batting an eye.

You held up the tiny fragment of what remained of his polaroid. Opening your locket carefully, you placed it in the empty slot carefully and smiled. It looked rather odd but it would have to do for now. You closed the locket and grinned up at your boyfriend.

You beamed. “We can go now.”

Yuta entwined his hand with yours, a fond smile on his face. It was odd that you two were now a newly-minted couple. It felt like all the bickering and fighting had been a thing of the past, only something you would mention if you wanted to laugh about it. A month ago, the thought of you both actually getting along would never have crossed your mind, but now you were holding his hand and ready to go on a date.

“By the way,” you added, “where are we even going?”

Yuta flashed his glowing smile again. “How do you like fairs?”

If you were going to be perfectly honest, you had never gone to a fair before.

You had seen them in a lot of cheesy rom-coms and occasionally once a year when you were driving by a fair that was set up. The only remarkable thing you had watched about fairs was how the male lead tried to win a bunch of games to impress the female lead. If Yuta was attempting to follow clichés to impress you, he was only going to make a fool out of himself because you were just as competitive as he was.

You observed that Yuta’s driving was quite reliable. The only problem was that you were a big distraction, and every time he placed his hand on your knee, you were terrified he was going to crash. He always brushed the incident off like it was nothing, but left you flustered and startled. The ride to the fair was no different; Yuta’s hand rarely left your knee unless he had to shift gears.

The actual fair was smaller than you had imagined. There were a few rides that looked fun but not very safe, a plethora of game booths, and a dozen food carts scattered about. The buzzing energy was already warming you up, rattling your entire body down to your feet.

“What do you wanna do first?” Yuta asked. He mocked an exaggerated gasp when he saw the lost look in your eyes. “Don’t tell me you’ve never been to a fair before.”

You huffed. “It’s not like I didn’t know they existed.”

“Shut up.”

“Okay, in my defense—”

“You’ve never been to a fair before?” Yuta exclaimed. “I’m kind of shocked but honored to take your fair virginity.”

“Shut up.” You elbowed Yuta’s side upon hearing his crude comment. “What do people even do at fairs?”

“Well, I was planning to stroke my ego by winning one of those toys for you,” Yuta replied.

You looked in the direction Yuta was pointing. It was one of those ‘everyone’s a winner’ ring toss games. You had seen a lot of tricks about games such as those on the internet, but you decided to let your boyfriend have his moment. That, or witness him pathetically fail.

Yuta led you to the booth, gripping your hand tightly and pointing up at the stuffed animals on display. Most of them were pretty ugly, but the thrill of winning one made the prize much more desirable. You watched as Yuta slid the booth owner a bill and took the three plastic rings handed to him.

“Watch closely, Y/N,” he said, his tongue poking out a little as he concentrated.

You giggled at the sight and pulled out your phone to record him. “Go on.”

Yuta tossed one ring and missed completely. He clicked his tongue and repositioned himself to try again. He looked as if he was in deep concentration as he threw the second one, which hit the rim of one bottle but fell to the ground. Yuta ran a hand through his hair sheepishly and you laughed. This was definitely going to put a dent in his pride.

“You got this,” you encouraged, though your faith in him was diminishing fast. “Come on. One more.”

Yuta paused and adjusted his elbow before he flicked his wrist to throw the ring toward the back.

He missed again.

You burst out laughing, delighted with the video footage you had gotten of your boyfriend slipping up. You clapped and walked over to him. You looked up at Yuta’s grim face with a bright smile.

“There’s something you can get me that doesn’t require you losing an ‘everyone’s a winner’ game,” you offered, tugging at his sleeve. “Come on, I really want it!”

“I think I need three business days to recover.”

“You and your ego will be perfectly fine,” you said, rolling your eyes as you led him to another booth. “Can you catch one for me?”

Yuta grinned. “I want a kiss in return.”

“It’s my birthday, not yours.”

It was one of the goldfish scooping games. It was the only fair game that you had been wanting to try, and you were ecstatic when you saw it out of the corner of your eye during Yuta’s ring toss fail. You weren’t too confident about actually catching them yourself, so you kneeled down next to Yuta as he tried to catch a goldfish in his little net.

“They’re all little babies,” you cooed, watching the goldfish zip through the water. “Yuta, get that one with the big eyes.”

“This is not humane at all,” Yuta grumbled and cornered in on the goldfish you wanted. “We’re saving you, little guy.”

You clapped, face lit up as Yuta scooped the goldfish in his net. He held his hand under the net and stood up carefully as the goldfish tried to writhe around in the net. The booth attendee came over with a plastic bag that was halfway filled with water, and he let Yuta drop the fish in.

After tying up and sealing the bag, Yuta handed you your new fish.

“We should name him,” you said, admiring the fish as it swam about in its tiny home. “We can be his parents.”

Yuta pressed a kiss to your temple and asked, “How do you know it’s a dude?”

“Taeyong told me that male goldfish aren’t as big and have longer fins than females,” you said. You held the plastic bag up until it was at eyesight. “Let’s name him Mr. Gubbles.”

Yuta laughed, looking as if he was cringing at the name, but he saluted the fish as soon as you shot him a glare. “Mr. Gubbles sounds great. In fact, it’s perfect! Out-of-this-world, never-been-done-before, extraordinary—”

“You don’t need to overdo it.” You smiled and got on your toes to place a chaste kiss on his full lips. “But thanks.”

You swore you had never seen Yuta so red.

Getting used to the idea of having a boyfriend was odd.

You weren’t too sure as to what expectations you were held to with the girlfriend role, and you had to get used to Yuta Nakamoto being one of the people closest to you. There were a lot of things that you wanted to do with him and a lot of ways you wanted to get to know him. So, you texted him whenever possible for the most random reasons. Whether it was what you had for breakfast or what Mr. Gubbles did that day, you unconsciously found yourself telling Yuta.

One risque text, however, ended up with your boyfriend at your door in a matter of minutes.

“Oh, hello,” you greeted, amused.

You held the door open wider so Yuta could walk in. His normally marvelling crescents morphed into lust, narrowing in on you. As soon as his hands found their way to your waist, you knew you had made him snap. Yuta closed the door for you but did so by pinning you up against it, body flush against yours.

“You’re real trouble, you know that?” he growled, tilting his head so he could start nipping at your neck. “Why would you send me those pictures without any warning?”

“I did warn you!” you pointed out. “I asked if you wanted to see some pictures I took.”

“I thought they were gonna be the fish, not your body!”

Earlier you had sent Yuta some pictures of you posing in the new lingerie you bought. Since the both of you hadn’t done anything sexually since your birthday two weeks ago, it left you two agitated and wanting more. Naturally, Yuta finally built up the courage to ask if he could fuck you.

“Are you just gonna keep me here?” you asked, raising a brow at the way he caged you but wouldn’t close the distance.

“No, I’m gonna fulfill your request of being a more traditional couple,” he replied darkly. “Are you sure about this, though?”

Yuta’s eyes were smouldering. He wanted to protect you, but he also wanted to ruin you. Shatter you around him and watch you get ruined. He wanted to bruise and mark you up until he couldn’t see an inch of you without seeing what he left behind.

You knew he was too soft to go too far, though.

“Of course,” you breathed out.

Yuta’s hard expression wilted into a sly smirk. His hands dropped to rest at your hips while he raised his head to lick the shell of your ear.

“I don’t think you get it, kitten,” he whispered, “I’m going to break you.”

You understood his implication perfectly. Before, back when you and Yuta had nothing more than bad blood between you, you would have been repulsed, disgusted. Now, the shock and arousal was coursing through your body, making your heart soar and your legs tremble.

“Break me, then.”

The gleam in Yuta’s eyes darkened and he scooped you up without another word. You yelped and wrapped your legs around his waist to steady yourself, already getting butterflies at the way his hands were gripping your thighs. He didn’t need to ask where your room was, walking his way over with his eyes completely trained on you, like you would disappear if he looked away.

As soon he shut your bedroom door behind him, Yuta dropped you onto your bed. You had no time to register the fall because he had his lips slotted with yours almost immediately, hands running up and down your body. You whined against his lips, needy, hands tugging at the hem of his shirt.

Yuta complied to your request and pulled away to grab his shirt at the nape, pulling off in a swift motion. Your gaze traveled down to his abs, so raw and defined, but you darted back to his eyes when you noticed the cocky smirk that curled at his lips.

He had no intention of letting you undress yourself. Yuta peeled off your shirt, a hungry look in his eyes as he looked over your top half, from your collarbone, to the swell of your breasts, and back up again after he reached your naval. You met his gaze with a breathy sigh, head swimming when he leaned over you and kissed you again. Yuta’s finger traced a line down your torso, his touch light as a feather but leaving you craving more.

“You’re so fucking perfect,” he growled.

You whined when Yuta broke away. His hand that rested at the small of your back pushed you up so you were sitting, and Yuta unleashed all his pent-up lust on you. You didn’t get a second to breathe because his lips were everywhere, kissing down your neck, to your collarbone, to the valley between your breasts.

He unhooked your bra with ease and groaned at the sight of you. You curled a hand into Yuta’s hair just before his lips attached to your hardened nipples, sucking and pecking at them and rousing mewls from you. Then, Yuta continued his trail down your body, kissing each inch of skin. He tugged your pants down and peppered kisses down your leg as he got rid of your clothing.

You shivered. You and Yuta had gotten close, but you still hadn’t lost your virginity to him. There were times where you felt like he would get caught up and go all the way, but he always stopped himself.

Now, with the hungry look in his eyes, you weren’t too sure if he was going to stop.

“Are you sure about this?” Yuta asked, kissing the top of your thighs as his fingers snapped the waistband of your underwear.

You groaned and sat up to grab his face. “Yuta Nakamoto, I have been patiently waiting for you to make me see stars. If you chicken out again, I’m literally going to run you over with my Bugatti.”

You considered yourself a professional at getting some fire out of Yuta.

Yuta grinned lazily and got up to unbutton his pants, tugging them down along with his boxers to reveal his impressive size. You had seen his cock before, but thinking about how all of it was going to fit in you was unnerving. You swallowed hard, only making Yuta’s smirk grow when he noticed your concern.

“You’ll catch flies,” he mocked, and you thought back to your comment when he came over to your house the first time. You wanted as Yuta unwrapped a condom wrapper hastily with his teeth and slid the latex over his cock with a pump. He looked at you and said, “You have to tell me if it hurts. I want you crying because of how good I am, not for any other reasons.”

You nodded, still distracted by the size of his cock, and met Yuta’s smug expression with a bewildered one when he got over you. A gasp fell from your lips when your boyfriend cupped your apex with no warning, his middle finger rolling around your clit at a steady rhythm.

After he got rid of your underwear and went back to torturing your clit, you processed how shocked you were that you were laid bare in front of Yuta and felt completely at ease. Your train of thoughts quickly went off the rails when Yuta started kissing all over your neck again, even that spot under your ear that always made you squirm.

Yuta bit his lip at the way your hips bucked when he licked two fingers and slid them inside of you You didn’t expect him to start with more than one, but you didn’t mind. Your brain was turning to mush as he worked his fingers in you, sucking hickies into the side of your neck.

“That feels really good,” you breathed out, turning your cheek to the pillow to keep yourself a little grounded.

“I know,” Yuta replied smugly, “you’re so wet for me, princess.”

You pouted. “I’m not that wet.”

“You’re drenched,” Yuta growled. “So fucking tight, too.” He met your hazy gaze and used his free hand to grip your waist. “Are you ready for my cock, doll?”

“Please,” you begged, cringing at how painfully obvious it was that you had been waiting for this. “You know I’m ready.”

Yuta chuckled and lined up his cock in place, rubbing the head against your soaked pussy, fingers prodding your clit as you let out a soft cry of his name. Thankfully, he didn’t make you wait long, pushing into you with a low, guttural groan that would be burned into your brain forever.

Thankfully, he waited for you to get adjusted, and he took his time to get inside you. You felt like you were splitting in half but the initial discomfort slowly morphed into pleasure.

“Yuta!” you cried out when he started thrusting at a slow pace.

Your moans only encouraged him to speed up. You held onto the sheets and clenched around him, crying louder with the occasional “right there!” when he hit that perfect spot below your cervix. Yuta growled filthy words in your ear as he pounded into you erratically. He knew your body like it was on the back of his hand, and angled your hips so he could fuck into you even better.

You didn’t mind being roughed up in the hottest way possible, but nothing could have prepared you for the way his hips met yours and his fingers worked on your clit with little semblance of mercy. His breathing grew ragged, unhinged.

“You’re doing so good,” he rasped out. “You fit so perfectly around me, princess. You’re taking it so well.”

Your eyes burned into his, half-lidded and on the brink of release. Yuta was filling you to the brim, stretching you out so well that you couldn’t form coherent thoughts. You were chanting his name like it was the only thing you knew, only being able to ground yourself whenever he wiped stray tears from your cheeks.

Yuta’s languid thrusts didn’t falter even as he asked, “Can you cum for me?”

“Cum… cum—yeah, yeah I can,” you whined out, nails digging into his back.

“Pretty,” he grumbles, pupils blown out as he punctuated his words with a sharp snap of his hips. “So fucking pretty.”

You opened your mouth to tell him how close you were, but then his cock hit that certain spot that made you see stars. It made your thoughts scatter and little pinpricks of light flash in the back of your eyes.

“Oh! Right there, Yuta!” you sobbed out.

And god, you knew that grin of his would be the death of you. He was so prideful even as he ruthlessly pounded into that one spot that was making you teeter off the edge. The pleasure was bursting hot inside of you, building up until you finally fell apart.

You let out a broken sob and cried out his name—a raw sound that even you hardly recognized. Your orgasm made your vision go blurry for a second, the pleasure overwhelming you to the point that you could only see white for a second. Yuta, however, only slowed his pace in favor of making deeper, meaningful thrusts.

“Look at me,” your boyfriend ordered, and you could tell he was clenching his jaw in order to keep his own release at bay.

Your eyes were misted over but you looked up at him, lips parted as you struggled to catch your breath. Yuta brutally fucked you, working on your clit as well to bring you to the brink again. The second time your orgasm came, you were blindsided and on the verge of screaming in pure bliss.

Yuta tucked his face into the crook of your neck and let out a loud, throaty groan as he finished inside of you. The room fell silent soon after, the only sound being your heavy pants and ghosts of your whimpers remembering the way he touched you.

Yuta was the first to speak. “Wow.”

“Wow indeed,” you breathed out.

Yuta laughed, a little winded. He rolled off of you and slid the condom off of his cock. He threw it into the trashcan before collapsing beside you. You smiled and pulled him closer as he wrapped his arm around your waist and kissed your forehead.

“That was like a premium fuck,” he mused.

“Please never say that again.”

Summer was flying by faster than you had expected.

The next month was blissfully spent in the honeymoon phase of your relationship. You and Yuta spent as much time together as possible without being found out. He would sneak you into his room (which was far easier with one of his roommates, Taeyong, being away for tutoring camp), and the both of you would cuddle on his bed and watch movies on his phone. On another occasion, Yuta and you wound up making out in the back of his car when he spotted a couple of his friends. That resulted in you being pushed to the ground and Yuta getting no action after that.

While it wasn’t much of a big deal, Yuta made sure to satisfy your sexual needs thoroughly. After some browsing and online consultation, you learned that your boyfriend was spoiling you by giving you what you wanted most of the time. You preferred being a pillow princess since he liked to treat you like one.

Yuta and you made out like champions, yes, but you appreciated so much more about him. He would send you songs that reminded him of you at random times; ask you if you needed a hug and show up to give you one no matter what; teach you to play the guitar even though you were absolutely terrible at the guitar; and sing songs in your ear when you had a hard time falling asleep, even if it was over the phone.

He still poked fun at you as usual. There was never a day when Yuta wouldn’t start randomly bickering with you over something, only to resolve it by kissing your nose to diffuse the tension. (Seeing your nose scrunch up made him putty in your hands).

When you introduced Yuta to your mom, he was a sweating, stuttering wreck. You had never seen him so afraid in the time you knew him. It was endearing to see him so worked up over meeting one of the most important people in your life.

Honestly, you thought he was just a loser, but when Yuta introduced you to his parents, you nearly forgot your name.

You told Taeyong everything between you and Yuta since he had been picking up on it. It was incredible how he was hours away but managed to figure out your best kept secret. Since your best friend helped you set up your fish tank for Mr. Gubbles and told you how to properly care for a goldfish, he would check up on the fish every now and then. One of those times happened to be when Yuta was in the middle of giving you a hickey, and your boyfriend had no intention of removing his lips from your skin.

You ended up coughing and giggling a lot over the phone, making Taeyong very concerned by how panicked you sounded. He even questioned if you were being hostage. When he asked if Yuta was there, you had to make a quick excuse, brushing off the comment and saying you had to go. Later that night, however, you wound up calling Taeyong and explaining everything from start to finish.

It was his fault anyway for giving you Yuta Nakamoto for your birthday.

You thought your summer dream would never end, but now there was a little less than a few weeks left and you were getting anxious. You and Yuta had planned to stop hiding your relationship by the end of summer, and you were wondering how you would go from sneaking around to being able to hold hands in front of everyone. You weren’t big on PDA to begin with, so that was going to take time to adjust to.

Yuta, however, proclaimed that he wanted to drop the act earlier.

“Tomorrow night at Jaehyun’s party,” he whispered into your hair, “I don’t want to keep hiding around everyone. Let’s not make a show out of it. We can just hold hands and people can figure out the rest themselves.”

You found it funny how your old crush on Jaehyun had just been dusted under the carpet. You were sure Yuta was aware that it was nothing but simple attraction, and your boyfriend was confident enough to not see his teammate as a threat. The only thing that left you puzzled about Jeong Jaehyun was how he managed to hold ragers at his place without getting caught.

You and Yuta were laying on a blanket that was spread across the bed of his truck, looking up at the canvas of stars and galaxies beyond. It was his personal request to stargaze. He said he wanted to show you the constellations. Another thing you learned about Yuta was that he was very intimate when he wanted to be close.

“Taeyong will be back by then,” you remembered. “You and I don’t have very good experiences at parties, though.”

Yuta laughed, loud and rich as he wrapped his arm around your waist. “That’s different. You’re a different person, now. Well, not different but a good different.”

“Are you saying I was shitty before?”

“I still liked you, loser.” Yuta scoffed. “You’re just… more understanding now.”

You knew what he meant. You saw it in yourself, too. You felt like you were a shell of a person before, lacking direction and purpose. Lacking the ability to care properly for those around you. You weren’t even that great of a friend to Taeyong.

Yuta added, “You’re also less materialistic.”

That was wrong. You still succumbed to capitalism, but you kept it more on the down-low.

Baby steps.

You smiled and cupped Yuta’s face in your hands, holding him at a distance so you could see his face clearly. “And you’re still horny and annoying, but I… like you.”

You bit your lip after your hesitation. Saying the word love was a task you never expected to be so hard. You could tell yourself you loved Yuta because you did—you loved a lot of things about him. You loved how he made you feel, how he was as a person, and how the two of you felt like you burned brighter than a supernova.

Loving Yuta was as natural as rain falling, as fire burning, as the sun shining. You loved Yuta so much that when you broke yourself into pieces, you put yourself back together again because he saw the potential of growth in you.

Yuta made you glow.

But why was it so fucking hard to say that one word?

“Hey,” Yuta suddenly said, cupping your cheek. “We’ve had a lot of deep conversations, but is it okay if I ask something kind of personal?”

“Shoot.”

“Why don’t you ever talk about your dad?” he asked, voice softer around the edges this time. He raised his hand to cup your face, thumb stroking your cheek as his other fingers wove into your hair. “You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to.”

You dropped your gaze away from his eyes at the mention of your father. He had remained tucked and tangled in the web of problems you left in the back of your mind. You thought you understood longing—longing for your father who would love you as much as you loved him.

You thought you understood longing; yet, nothing would compare to sitting in your empty bedroom, waiting for your father to come home, only to never see him again.

Maybe you should have picked up the phone and tried to contact him. Maybe then he’d come home. Instead, you kept a distance to protect yourself, to protect the meaning of what your father was to you.

It wasn’t that you held any resentment or anger toward your father, but rather, you were just scared of being unloved. You knew you would be more crushed if you tried to contact your father and found out he didn’t want to reconnect with you. The only thing you held onto were old memories and the hope that he was still the father that kissed the top of your head when you were upset, that made you hot chocolate when you had a bad dream, that tucked you in bed if you fell asleep on the couch.

You answered your boyfriend like you were treading on broken glass, “He left us.” You weren’t sure what Yuta’s expression looked like but you continued on to explain anyway, “Around three years ago, my dad got in a fight with my mom and disappeared. We haven’t talked since.”

“Do you want to want to reconnect with him?” came Yuta’s voice after a few moments of silence and processing.

You let the question sink into your bones. Distance provided the clarity that you didn’t hate your father for leaving, but you weren’t sure if you were ready to talk to him. You wanted to at some point, but the thought of trying to call him made your heartbeat feel erratic.

“I’m scared,” you admitted as Yuta pulled you closer. “What if he doesn’t want to speak to me?”

“You won’t know until you try, right? Plus, he’s your dad, Y/N. I’m sure he misses you just as much as you miss him,” Yuta replied. “If you love him that much, reaching out is worth a shot, right?”

“He hasn’t reached out to me in three years,” you mumbled.

“Honestly, if you’re your father’s daughter,” Yuta said, “he’s probably waiting for you to call him, too. I’m guessing your stubbornness comes from him.”

“You know what, you’re right. Not about the stubborn thing—screw you for that.” You sucked in a sharp breath and sat up. “It’s about time I did something about it.”

Yuta reached for your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze once he entwined his fingers with yours. “Will you be okay?” he asked. “Call me if you need anything.”

“Of course.”

Yuta pulled you to his chest, whispering, “I love you.”

The ember inside you burned brighter, lighting up all the stars in the sky. You always felt it with Yuta. There was that electric current through your body, galvanizing your limbs and drawing you closer to him.

But you couldn’t say it back.

You knew your father’s phone number by heart. It was etched into the back of your head, burned into your skin. If he hadn’t changed his number in the past three years, the call would go through to him and, if you were lucky, he’d pick up the phone.

You were pacing in your room at this point.

You just had to call him and wait for him to pick up. You scripted out an entire conversation, hoping he would follow suit and not leave you a floundering mess, blanking on words and ideas. You only had to worry about that if he actually took the call, but you liked to prepare in advance.

You hadn’t told your mother that you were going to contact your father. You weren’t sure how she felt about your father, so you decided to leave her in the dark unless you came back with good news.

You had the numbers punched in, but your finger was hovering over the call button.

You breathed in slowly. You can do this, Y/N.

You hit call.

The phone started ringing and your heartbeat spiked. He hadn’t changed his number. Your blood was running cold under your skin, goosebumps pricking along your arms as you waited out the rings. They felt like they were drawn out longer than usual, the ringing resonating in your ears a little louder and the echo lingering more than usual.

Then the ringing stopped.

“Y/N? Is that you?” came your father’s gentle voice, struck with disbelief.

Three years.

It had been three years since you heard from your father, only seeing him in the history of your bank transactions. It had been three years of missing him. Three years of waiting for him. Three years of sitting at the couch and waiting for him to sit next to you and turn on a sports channel. Three years of walking past his empty room and waiting for the day he opens it.

It had been three years and all that pain dissipated instantly.

“Dad?” you asked, voice cracking. Tears were rimming your waterline but you blinked them away. Everything you had scripted in your head had completely vanished. You cleared your throat, abashed, and continued, “It’s me.”

You learned that life never went the way you expected it to.

People fell in and out of love all the time. Your father had his reasons for splitting with your mother, and while he might have been irresponsible for completely abandoning you, you didn’t want to hold onto that anger. You learned to cherish the people around you while you could.

Three years was enough for you and your father to grow as individuals. He rebuilt his life and you rebuilt your morals and ideals. Still, despite all that growth, he was the same father that loved you so deeply and was so pitifully terrified that you would resent him forever.

You told him you could never hate him. You waited for him for three years, and there was probably no man on the planet you would wait that long for. Your father told you he had been a coward for years, reluctant to call you yet hoped that you would call first.

Fuck, you thought when he had said that. Yuta was right.

Your father was doing well, though. You were never worried about his financial status; he was rich enough to get by comfortably. He hadn’t remarried but he had a dog and a huge house—a new life that he wanted to share with you. Thus, he asked if you wanted to visit him and perhaps make it a regular thing. You told him about your life, about Taeyong, about Yukhei, about Yuta, and felt giddy when he expressed interest in meeting your new boyfriend.

The two of you planned to meet over the weekend (after he contacted your mother about it, of course), so the conversation ended with the prospect of restoring a broken bridge.

When you hung up, your head was clearer than it had ever been.

You wanted to see Yuta.

“What��s up?” came your boyfriend’s voice when you called him. “Did he ghost you?”

“No, stupid.” You huffed. “I just need to see you right now.”

“Alright, I’ll call—”

“In person, Yuta,” you cut in.

There was silence for a moment before Yuta replied, “I’ll be there in five.”

You snickered when Yuta cut the call. He was probably losing his mind over the vagueness of your request, but you couldn’t say it over the phone. You needed to look him in the eyes and get out the words that were itching to be verbalized.

When Yuta knocked on your door, he looked petrified. You opened the door, practically overflowing with unexplainable excitement. Yuta didn’t seem to pick up on your energy, however, and looked like he was ready to be broken up with.

He started, “Y/N—”

“I love you.”

Yuta froze.

You loved him. You loved him.

You knew it hadn’t been easy for either of you, but none of the best things were. You’ve waited too long to understand your feelings so clearly, but they weren’t just feelings, you loved him down to your soul. Even if everything was stripped away from you, you still had Yuta. He was your person.

The words fell from your mouth and echoed in the space between you like a handful of dropped marbles. Yuta searched your eyes for any signs of mirth, but you were dead serious. You had never been so sure of anything in your life. You watched his Adam’s apple bob, gaze dropping to the ground; he was either going to cry or start teasing you right then and there, but you weren’t keen on witnessing either.

“Are you about to cry?” you asked, trying to hold in your laughter.

“No.” Yuta’s voice wavered and he looked miserable. “You just—you just never said it back when we were stargazing, okay? I was worried but now—ugh.”

You giggled at his reaction. You felt tingles from your brain to the tips of your fingers, buzzing with this newfound feeling of expressing how you felt to the person you loved.

“Are you gonna say it back or do I have to be emotionally vulnerable all by myself?” you pressed.

“You can be a melt on your own.”

You punched his shoulder hard, inciting a grunt from your poor boyfriend. “That’s rich, coming from you. You’re the real softie out of the both of us.”

He held up his hands in surrender. “I’m kidding! But you already know my feelings.”

“I wanna hear it again,” you demanded as Yuta pulled you to his chest, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“I love you, Y/N,” he murmured into your hair after kissing that one spot under your ear. “I loved you yesterday, I love you today, and I’ll love you tomorrow.”

You smiled. “I love you too, Yuta.”

All things came to an end eventually; if you could’ve had it your way, you would’ve never let your summer end.

For one, you were kind of pissed that Taeyong had to come home so late. Sure, you had a few more weeks to spend with him, but you needed to figure out how you were going to catch up on over a month of not seeing each other.

Another thing that pissed you off was that Taeyong was directionally challenged, so when you went to pick him up from the bus stop and didn’t see him there, you were sad to say that you weren’t surprised. He had taken the wrong bus and ended up several cities away. You ended up having to cancel your lunch plans and told Taeyong you would meet him at Jaehyun’s party.

Later, when Yuta was parking near Jaehyun’s place, you were so burnt out that you immediately started complaining.

“Slow down, slow down,” Yuta said. “So you want to go see Taeyong, but you’re sad that summer’s ending?”

“Precisely.”

“Those aren’t even connected,” Yuta replied bluntly.

You whined. “Summer ending means less time with Taeyong!”

“We all literally go to the same college!” Yuta argued and lowered his head to meet your eyes. “Are you just scared that going back to school means going back to how we used to be?”

“Not everything’s about you,” you retaliated even though Yuta hit the bullseye.

Yuta snickered and a few seconds passed. There was just silence as Yuta waited for you to say something, and you waited for him to just get out of the car already so you both could go to the party.

“Yuta.”

“Yeah?”

“Can you hold me?”

He snorted at your request, mostly because there was no way he would say no to that. Yuta sighed and used the lever on the side to move his seat back, leaving enough space for you to sit on his lap. He patted his thigh and you crawled onto his lap. When you were settled, you let out a shaky, breathless laugh at how cramped it was. Nevertheless, you leaned forward and laid your head against his chest.

“You’re a handful,” he teased.

“I know,” you replied, and then he leaned in to kiss you, and you melted into him. Before it got too far, though, you pulled away with your hands on his chest. “In the car? Seriously?”

“We’re not a traditional couple,” Yuta defended, “but you may return to your seat if you don’t want a ride.”

You frowned. “But we’re already at the party.”

“That’s not the kind of ride I was talking about.”

“Oh.” Your eyes shone when you finally got it. “Oh.”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding, it’s—”

“Finger me.”

Yuta nearly choked, eyes wide at your request. “Did you just ask me to finger you unprovoked?”

“How the hell was it unprovoked? You literally asked me to ride you,” you fired back.

“It was sudden, okay? No, but seriously, if you don’t want to—”

“Oh my god.” You pressed the heels of your palms into your eyes and groaned. “Yuta, I will run you over with your own car.”

He laughed, rich and bright before pressing his lips to yours, carding a hand through hair. You leaned back and jolted in his lap when the horn went off.

It was your turn to laugh. “Turn off the engine!”

“My bad, my bad,” he said, turning the key with a grin.

He turned back to you and slotted his lips with yours again, pulling you unbearably close. Yuta’s fingers unbuttoned your shorts just enough for him to access your underwear. He let out a pleased grunt when he found that the cloth covering you was already damp.

Your chest twisted when you felt his cold fingers sliding against your slit. When he slid his first finger in, your sharp intake of breath was so sudden that you forgot how to breathe for a second. His second finger was less sudden, but you were starting to feel overstimulated when he started speeding up his movements. Soft mewls and whimpers escaped your lips as Yuta worked on your clit with his thumb and curled his fingers inside of you.

Nearly ten minutes in and Yuta was working you to your release but slowed his fingers down whenever you were close to an orgasm. You gritted your teeth. He was edging you, and you weren’t having it, so you started riding his fingers yourself. Yuta watched you with a look on his face that was somewhere between amazed and proud. He assisted by rubbing your clit to help bring you back to your release.

You fell into it without much of a warning, clenching and squirming around his fingers as your body shuddered due to the immense pleasure. You buried your face into Yuta’s shoulder, letting out a muffled moan. You were already wary about doing this in the car, but the thrill of being caught made you even more excited.

Yuta pulled his fingers out of you and licked them one-by-one as you buttoned up your shorts again. You let out a breathless laugh, spent and relieved.

“I guess you could say we’re starting off the party with a bang,” Yuta said.

“That was absolutely horrid.”

A knock on Yuta’s window made you jolt. Your blood went cold.

Taeyong.

“Hey, lovebirds,” he called. “Sorry to interrupt your moment, but I need to borrow Y/N.”

You took back everything you said about the thrill of being caught. There was nothing thrilling about this. It was downright disgraceful.

“W-when did you get here?” you stuttered, practically falling out of Yuta’s lap and stumbling to catch your balance as you leaped out of the car. You crushed Taeyong in a hug, something you weren’t sure he would appreciate if he actually witnessed Yuta fingering you. “I missed you!”

“Just now,” he replied as he returned your hug. You were relieved but the shame was still hot in your cheeks. “Looks like you liked my birthday gift a little too much,” he said, throwing Yuta a side-glance before looking at you knowingly. “Told you so.”

“Oh, shut up,” you responded shyly. “We have so much to catch up on.”

“I have absolutely nothing planned for the next few weeks so I’m all yours,” Taeyong said. “I’ll be around when Lover Boy isn’t.”

You scoffed a little as Yuta got out of the car to walk beside you. You weren’t used to being sandwiched between them; usually, it was Taeyong that had to be in the middle to keep you both from clawing each other’s throats out.

“Taeyong, we missed you doing the laundry for us. How was camp?” Yuta asked.

“Terrible,” he said. “How was Y/N?”

“Really good,” Yuta answered, and you punched his shoulder. He winced and corrected, “Really good person."

“Uh-huh,” Taeyong replied, slightly disgusted. “Have you two made it official yet?”

You shook your head. “We’re just going to be together tonight and let everyone assume we are. No schematics.”

The three of you made your way to Jaehyun’s door and waited for him to open it. You supposed they were still setting up since you couldn’t hear or see any signs of life in the house. You were at least expecting the bass-boosted music and strobe lights, but now even the door was closed.

“We can just go in, I guess,” Taeyong said, reaching forward to open the door. He frowned and stepped inside. “Why is it so dark in here?”

Yuta closed the door behind you after you walked in. He looked down at you with a fond smile as you tried to make him out in the darkness. His hand moved up to brush your hair aside and cup your cheek.

“You’re ready for our relationship to be public, right?” he asked.

“Of course,” you replied, eyes fluttering shut when your boyfriend leaned down to give you a quick kiss.

Right when Yuta’s lips touched yours, however, all the lights turned on, and more than a dozen people jumped into view. It scared you and Taeyong out of your wits, practically jumping at the sound of the poppers shooting confetti all over the place.

“Welcome back, Taeyong!” their cheering rang through the house like a choir.

Taeyong looked absolutely exhausted as the basketball team members rushed forward to pat him on the back. “Thanks. I nearly pissed myself,” he replied, impassive.

“Hold on,” Jungwoo called out, silencing the room. “Yuta and Y/N, wanna explain yourselves back there?”

You blinked and then realized that Yuta was still cupping your cheek, bent over a little like he was leaning in for a kiss. A chorus of shouts and hollers rose from the small gathering, and you wanted to crawl in a hole and die. While you were freaking out, Yuta was unfazed as ever, looking toward you for a reaction.

So much for no schematics, you thought.

“Yuta Nakamoto finally got a girlfriend? And it’s Y/N?” Jaehyun asked, thoroughly amused. “Never thought I’d see the day.”

Yukhei, who moved closer to the front, shook his head at you. “It’s between you and God now, Y/N.”

Your jaw went slack, shocked at the betrayal you were witnessing. You weren’t sure how to even respond to the teasing. You were just waiting for Yuta to say something about it, but he just stared at you and waited for you to answer. He finally got the message when you nudged his side.

“Well, I was going to be subtle about bringing it up, but I guess Y/N had other plans,” Yuta joked, making you wish you never encouraged him to open his mouth.

“Oh, that’s rich, coming from you!” you argued. “You were the one leaning in and trying to kiss me out of nowhere!”

“Well, I told you,” Yuta replied with a lazy grin, “we’re not a very traditional couple.”

Jaehyun and Jungwoo tried to diffuse your petty argument while simultaneously trying to get the inside scoop on how you and Yuta got together. You allowed Yuta to explain, then cut in at times to correct his skewed storytelling. Jaemin and YangYang joined in just as you were insisting that you did not, in fact, break down in tears and profess your undying love to Yuta.

“They’re always at it even when they’re crazy for each other, aren’t they?” Yukhei asked, snickering as he watched you and Yuta bicker.

“Yeah,” Taeyong agreed with a wistful sigh, “but they need the chase. That’s why they work so well together.”

When the attention around you and Yuta’s relationship had died down, you felt a massive weight being taken off of your shoulders. Yuta smiled at you and despite all the squabbles and jokes, you always felt at ease when you saw that twinkle in his eyes.

You loved him. Truly loved him with your entire being.

Even if you two weren’t a very traditional couple.

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