#they’re not hard to find & im always happy to link them if anyone wants serious analysis

[juniperhillpatient]

Well that was a great rewatch so glad I got to season 3 episode 5 of avatar the last airbender I guess no other episodes matter now rewatch over

[halcyon-writings]

i checked this list and it said persona so im hoping this is still ok. Date night with the protagonists? (Makoto, Yu and Ren) please and thank you >///

ー『anonymous: Can i get dating headcanons for the persona protags (Makoto, Yu and Ren) please and super thank yous. I love these boys so much. ;A;』

note(s): I am going to combine these requests as they are similar enough I hope that is alright! no real warnings for this one either, I just think these dudes are neat. Also I know they all have like 5 different names, so I just went with the ones I am more familiar with. Maybe(????) spoilers for 3, 4, and 5, so if you haven’t finished or played them, be warned (although, idk if anyone would read it if they haven’t played the respective game but idk warning for spoilers just in case) also idk how i feel about these hcs rn, but i did my best dhdjdj

all my other links can be found in my navigation post!! If you like my writing and you’d like to support me, my tip jar is also linked there!

hcs under the cut so i’m not clogging anyone’s dash (originally these were gonna be a short set of hcs but i guess not dbdndn)

What our dear protagonist lacks in overall extrovertedness, he makes up for in action. Surprise surprise, dates can either range from hanging out in the dorms and cooking a nice meal together. Or maybe going to the mall and heading to the arcade. Or basically wandering around until your legs hurt and your purchases range from new outfits to weird antiques from the antique shop.

However he really does treasure these little trinkets, because the memory of your laughter when you were given a certain item will forever be ingrained in his mind. It’s a comfort in the end too.

Date nights are focused on you and you only. He definitely sets a date where he knows you both are free so that there’s less likely of a chance for being interrupted. He definitely wouldn’t want his time with you to be wasted. Although seeing his small pout when it does happen is very cute.

You also gotta be keen on if he sees something he likes and wants. While Minato won’t exactly say it, his gaze lingers a bit longer than usual. But he ultimately won’t get it, because he wants to focus on you and also save up for when the group goes to Tartarus. So if you surprise him with whatever he had wanted, he’s so happy.

While he is slightly more reserved in comparison to Yu and Akira, Minato speaks through action. Whenever you two are walking together, he always has your hand in his, or keeping close by in some way. He likes to cling to you when it’s just you two, his head buried in the crook of your neck as you two nap tother, legs tangled up together. Or the small jokes he says loud enough for only you to hear, but they’re still so funny. Sometimes you’re asked if he’s really a good boyfriend, and you have to laugh off the doubt, because they don’t see the sides of him that you do.

My god. Yu would absolutely be the best at arranging dates and hangouts. I take no criticism. Like you guys could literally just be walking all around Inaba, or just sitting by the river bed and it could be one of the greatest times you’ve both had together. A romantic at heart, Yu would also be a bit cheesy in arranging dates.

He shows affection through communcating it. Whether it’s a new outfit or something, he’ll say that you look incredible or if you’ve studied for a hard exam, he’ll make sure you know how amazing you are for passing. Idk just anything that has you smiling from sweet compliments and other words of affirmation. A big sap, honestly you try and joke about it but he just earnestly says “Who wouldn’t be for you?” And you have to sit down and hide your face in your hands for a solid 5 minutes.

You also gotta be cool with Nanako. But then again she’s a cute kid and a sweetheart so idk why you wouldn’t be. Although he does get a little flustered if it’s you two watching her while Dojima-san is working late at the station and the old ladies coo over how you three look like a mini family yourselves. Which is kind of a common occurrence. And I feel like Yu would know pretty well if he sees a future with someone he’s with, and with you he does shhh

Date nights in Inaba are really fun and a good way to wind down, sometimes it’s wandering Junes and finding whatever the newly advertised, as seen on tv appliance is. Or other parts of the shopping district, where he can really let go and just have fun for himself. When not worrying about school work or the cases the Investigation Team is working on.

some spoilers here; but after Izanami is defeated and the year ends. When Yu has to leave Inaba it doesn’t mean that he won’t put his best efforts to keep up the relationship. If possible, video calls or just the occasional text too. And when he visits, while he does miss his friends, he’s especially antsy to see you too. And when you’re both together again, he refuses to leave your side.

Now, Akira can be described as this suave, casanova type character. But he’s also a giant dork and you know it, he knows it, the Phantom Thieves all know it, hell even Sojiro knows it. It doesn’t mean his attempts at flirting doesn’t get you blushing. And when he sees the flustered expression, it only motivates him to keep going. But turn the tables on him, and he’s putty in your hands. (And he looks very cute).

Because of the way you met, aka, at Shujin, where his reputation was basically over and done with before it even began, he has a lot of doubt and trust issues, what if someone dared you to speak to the “criminal” or something? While he won’t show these doubts out loud to his friends, it’s still something he thinks back on a lot. But when you defend him vehemently one day, he knows he was right to trust you.

A part of dating Akira, is eventually finding out who he is. Maybe trips to Mementos cause him to be late to dates or not even show up at all. You end up stood up more often then not once things begin to get really serious. From small time school teachers to the literal Yakuza (and eventually a candidate for Prime Minister, and a god), you don’t know where he is. And that becomes really stressful because then the doubt™️ sets in.

To make this less angsty and more funny, imagine you know from figuring it out. He’s suspiciously watching the news on the PT, and no offense to Ryuji, he’s not the most quiet. So he’s so nervous trying to tell you when you’re just “yeah I know, sorry for not telling you, I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to know.” and he’s just the surprised pikachu face.

As for date nights, the city is your oyster. I’d say the world but mans still currently has a criminal record so probably not yet. But he’s gonna take you wherever you want. Whether it’s a themed cafe, or just the streets of Shinjuku, as you take in all the sights from the bright places, he’s willing to do whatever for you. That includes facing off kids at the arcade for a stuffed plush you saw and admitted it was cute. He is a man on a mission. And you cannot stop him. So you both end up back at Leblanc at the end of the night carrying your plushies and eating some curry that Sojiro left warming for you. That even includes the Big Bang Burger challenge he will do it for you , even though you probably do laugh at his pain after but you still coo and praise his efforts.

After he goes back home, record clean and world hopefully peaceful. Virtual dates become a thing, either just sitting and talking while having dinner or something is nice. He still loves to say those cheesy pickup lines that had you hiding your flustered expression as you walked through the streets of Shibuya on call. You only hung up on him once but he quickly called back and was very pouty about it. You were forgiven though with the promise of giving many kisses when he visits.

[omegalomania]

I think tumblr ate my ask or it just didn't sent but what are your favorite Bastille songs / what are some songs you recommend?

i did NOT get this ask im very sorry anon.

it's genuinely hard for me to narrow down cause bastille is pretty up there in terms of favorite artists. i love all their shit, but a special mention goes out to their second studio album wild world since it's the one that made me a Fan

uh so here's a primer i guess i spent too much time on this lmao.

if you wanna listen to their big hits:

flaws - their first single in the uk. if you ever listened to ship playlists on 8tracks in like 2013-2015 then you've probably heard this song or a variant on it at some point.

pompeii - this is the song that really put them on the map and you definitely know it. it dominated the charts all over the place.

happier - the marshmello song that you've definitely heard before too. i think bastille wrote this for justin bieber or some shit but then decided they liked it too much to give it to him? lmao. anyway if you're not digging the version you hear on the radio all the time i recommend trying the stripped down version

good grief - their big hit off their second album. big in the uk, didn't really make as many waves elsewhere, but it's a really solid song anyway. one of those "upbeat tunes that's actually really fucking sad" ones

things we lost in the fire - another one off their first album. if you live in a wildfire area this might not be one to turn to. or maybe you'll find it cathartic idk i certainly do!!

quarter past midnight - a song about escapism, as was fitting when it was released in 2018 and equally fitting now. running away for a night of fucking around with friends, craving any kind of brief departure from the chaos of the modern world

skulls - this one was not a hit or a single and is technically a bonus track but i'm including it because once again if you ever clicked on a ship playlist on 8tracks in like 2013-2015 you've heard this one. and you know what that was justified this one is also good

if you wanna feel existentially depressed:

their whole discography. i mean i kid but i also don't. that's just kind of how bastille does it. BUT IN ALL SERIOUSNESS ones that hit me in particular would beeee

two evils - kind of a grim, haunting one introspecting about morality of the self.

oblivion - musing about the afterlife, love, and how time changes all of us.

those nights - contemplating what it is we seek when we plunge into reckless escapism, and the inherent loneliness of it; how even when surrounded by people there's still the pressure of the world outside, continuously coming to pieces

the draw - this one was written about the pull of pursuing a career in music vs. staying home with family and friends. in a broader sense, it can apply to a lot of things. i always felt it resonated with feelings of paranoia and displacement

winter of our youth - discusses childhood, nostalgia, and regret. if it feels like everything's slipping away, is it easier to relive the past, especially if the past is tinted rose?

sleepsong - loneliness, desperation, and the cyclical, abyss-like nature of all it encapsulates

if you want discussion of serious topics:

final hour - a bonus track off their second album that also became a bonus track off their third album? anyway this song talks about climate change and gun control. happy stuff

doom days - this one talks about, uh, everything! doomscrolling, political divides, escalating national tensions, climate change again, etc.

the currents - a song centered on political rhetoric and the power that figureheads have over the masses, the way they can orchestrate hate. basically it's not so subtly aimed at donald trump lmao, dan's literally sung it as much in a few live settings

WHAT YOU GONNA DO??? - social media addiction and the way capitalism and corporate interests have annexed our online experiences, fighting desperately for our attention as they seek to monetize every available aspect of our lives

four walls (the ballad of perry smith) - well this one is about uh. perry smith. who was charged with the death penalty for killing 4 people in the late 50's. but it's less directly about him and more a discussion of the morality of the death penalty and capital punishment

snakes - burgeoning anxieties and the impulse to turn to easy outs, like ignorance or alcoholism, to escape the world's global problems

if you want some pop culture sprinkled on top:

icarus - greek mythology. i like this one because it addresses something that i feel isn't addressed enough in discussions of this myth, which is that icarus is a very young lad. less about the pride of the fall, and more about the inherent tragedy of that.

laura palmer - the whole song is a david lynch shoutout. i've never seen twin peaks myself but the song still slaps.

daniel in the den - christian mythology. discusses the biblical tale of daniel in the lion's den and links that up to themes of betrayal and family.

poet - this one's a double feature, referencing both william shakespeare's sonnet 18 and edmund spencer's sonnet 75. also one of my favorites.

send them off! - this is another one of my favorites of theirs. it's also been described by dan as "othello meets the exorcist" and it very much delivers there

if you want something uplifting:

joy - while bastille (understandably) has a bit of reputation as a band that makes sad music about sad things, they've definitely got some happier songs in their catalogue. pun intended cha ching. this one's one of their more straightforwardly happy tunes

survivin' - this was a song they wrote while they were touring and then felt weird about releasing once the panini hit because it felt a bit on the nose. they ended up releasing it anyway and i am so glad they did cause it's a mood

act of kindness - the "happy" part here is debatable but i'm gonna include it anyway. it’s when someone does something nice for you and that impulse Changes you way down deep you know???

warmth - one of those "the world's going to shit but at least we have each other" kinds of tunes

the anchor - one of those "the world's going to shit but you're the one fucking thing that's still keeping me here" kinds of tunes

give me the future - their latest single as of this writing and one of the more optimistic tracks in their catalogue imo! it's yearning, but it's also with a genuine hope for the future.

and LASTLY. because im going to take every chance i can to plug this band. im going to throw some collabs and covers at you because there's one thing this band does SUPER well and it's collabs and covers.

of the night - this is the big one. it mashes up rhythm of the night by corona and rhythm is a dancer by SNAP! and it's so good they still do this one live and it goes off every time.

no angels - a mashup of "no scrubs" by TLC and "angels" by the xx, poured into a strangely mournful tune with clips from the hitchcock movie psycho. doesn't sound like it should work but it does. kinda really does.

torn apart - with GRADES and lizzo no less!!! it's got two parts but they're both excellent listen to them both

weapon - collab with angel haze, dan priddy, and F*U*G*Z and one of my absolute favorites

remains - remix of their song "skulls" but featuring rag'n'bone man and skunk anansie that adds an entire new dimension to the song, really fucking excellent

old town road mashup - lil nas x's old town road meets lizzo's good as hell meets radiohead's talk show host meets talking heads' road to nowhere meets the osmond's crazy horse. "what the fuck that shouldn't work" i KNOW and yet here it is!! BLATANTLY BANGING!!!

we can't stop - one of the few times dan smith subtly changes the lyrics of the song he's covering (most of the time he opts to keep the original pronouns and the like, which is very nice to see). anyway this one mixes miley cyrus's we can't stop with eminem's lose yourself and billy ray cyrus's achy breaky heart. and also the lion king's i just can't wait to be king is there. yes i know it sounds batshit especially because the whole thing is surprisingly melodic and heartfelt and you know what it works.

anyone but me x nightmares - mashing up joy crookes' anyone but me with easy life's nightmares and absolutely one of my favorites.

bad guy mashup - how many songs can they include with the word "bad" in the title? we've got bad guy (billie eilish), bad decisions (bastille), bad romance (lady gaga), and bad blood (taylor swift). bastille even has a song called bad blood and they didnt use it. they used taylor swift's version. also the distinctive guitar riff from dick dale's misirlou is there.

somebody mashup - how many songs can they include with the word "some" in the title? someone like you (adele), somebody told me (the killers), somebody to love (queen), use somebody (kings of leon), and someone you loved (lewis capaldi). seriously these guys take mashups to a new level.

final song - this is a cover of MØ's final song. it also adds in craig david's 7 days and, impossibly enough, europe's final countdown. how does it work. how.

ALL RIGHT. THATS ALL IVE GOT IN ME. HOPE THIS HELPED ANON AND IM SORRY IF THIS IS TOO MUCH

[thefallennightmare]

Hard to Love [19/?]

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader

Words: 2748

Warnings: this story will have mentions of abuse, mental and physical so please read at your own risk. Some swearing, angst, and a good amount of fluff. Maybe some smut if I'm feeling frisky.

Summary: After moving to a new town all on her own, Reader would do anything for a stable job and income. Even if that means housekeeping for one of Boston's eligible bachelors. What she didn't expect was finding herself falling in love with him and finding him out about the past that she was running from.

A/N: I couldn’t leave you guys hanging all night! TBH, I’m not sure how much longer this series is going to go. I’ve got a few things in my brain but well see how long this lasts! As always, enjoy :) 

Tags: @kelbabyblue @patzammit @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss @jennmurawski13 @divadinag @cosmicbreathe @thevelvetseries @capstopavenger @chris-butt @denisemarieangelina @im-a-stranger-thing @jennamarieee623 @introvertedmouse @lharrietg @thejemersoninferno  @breezykpop @instantbasementtimetravel @rodgersteves @michaelscotfield-blog1 @40srogcrs @wonderingshawn @bellaireland1981 @katelyneannxo @lady-x-red @sare-bare93-blog @annmariek8​ @raabrakha​ @stxvercgersslut​

Chris’ POV. 

A broken sigh fell from my lips as I sat on the back patio, Scott and my mom sitting at the table next to me. They had been here for the morale support, knowing that if I was still left alone, I would have gone insane. 

The bags under my eyes had darken, my facial hair had grown longer than I usually like; I hadn’t had the will to shave. My long hair was matted on my head, refusing to get off the couch to shower. I didn’t want to risk missing her phone call. 

“How long has it been?” Scott asked, his voice breaking the last ten minute silence. 

I looked at my watch and choked back a sob. “Almost 48 hours.” 

“They’ll find her, honey,” My mom rubbed my back. 

Running a hand over my face, I nodded. “I keep thinking that if we haven't fought that night, she would be home right now. I can’t believe those were my last words to her. What if that’s all she's going to remember if she di-.” 

I wasn’t able to finish my sentence, a loud sob replacing my words. 

“Chris, you can’t think like that. You have to think positive.” Scott stated. 

“How can I?!” I yelled while I stood to my feet, the chair scraping on the pavement.

“Her crazy ex husband has her! For all the cops know, he could have killed her the second he hit her with the bat!” 

My voice was deep and bellowed through my backyard. Thankfully it was only us outside so I didn't need to explain myself to anyone. 

The news of Y/N’s kidnapping unfortunately had been on every news channel local to Boston and Chad’s face was plastered all over social media, hoping any tips would pour in. My phone had non stop messages from family, friends, and fans. A lot of the fans thought it was a hoax since I hadn’t said one word about it. 

“Any tips come in online?” My mother asked. 

“Nothing, everyone thinks it’s a hoax,” I sighed. 

“Why don’t you say something?” Scott suggested. 

I looked at him skeptically. “I don’t know how that would help.” 

“You have a huge fanbase, Chris; especially around Boston. It doesn't hurt,” Scott said. 

Sucking on my bottom lip, I tossed the thought around in my head, back and forth back and forth, until I decided with a nod. Someone would be able to find something. 

I stepped away from them while pulling out my phone and clicked the live button on Instagram, taking a deep breath beforehand. The light had turned green, indicating I was live. 

“Hey everyone. I’m sure a lot of you heard the news about Y/N. First off, I want to say that it is true. She was abducted a few blocks from here almost 48 hours ago. The cops have evidence that her ex is behind it but they’re having trouble finding where he took her.” 

I ran a hand through my hair and continued. “We’ve been together for almost a year and she means the world to me; almost as much as Dodger. Hell, even more than Dodger. She’s everything to me, I need her back home. So if any of you have any information please pass it along to Boston PD. Or you can even send it to me but please, I beg you, serious leads only. I love her. Let’s bring Y/N home. Thank you guys, you are simply the best fans. I love you all.” 

The live ended and immediately I noticed the outpouring coming from everyone that had watched the live, letting me know that Y/N was in their prayers and that they would help bring her home. 

A few tears rolled off my cheeks and I let out a shaky breath, holding back the sobs. My mom snuck up behind me and wrapped herself around me, pulling into a much needed hug. 

My body crumbled in her embrace and the sobs became louder, burning our ears. I could help but grip my fingers into my moms back, even if she was shorter than I, but suddenly I was a little kid again. She always knew when I needed a hug or a shoulder to cry on. She knew exactly what I needed to get over heartbreak and she knew exactly when to back off when I needed space. 

Right now I needed her. 

After a few moments, I finally pulled away from her and thanked her with a kiss to the cheek. 

“Thanks mom,” I forced a smile to my face. 

“Of course,” she cupped my cheek, “I’m going to make you something to eat.” 

I went to protest but she immediately hushed me, saying that I looked like I hadn’t eaten in days. 

It was true. 

“Are you sure you don’t want us to stay with you?” My mother asked.

Scott sat behind the wheel while I leaned against the window of the passenger side in front of my mom. They stayed for a few hours after dinner and when the clock struck seven, I knew that they should head back home to rest; they’d been by my side all day. 

 “I’ll be fine, I’ve got Dodger.” I nodded. 

“Chris,” she tsked. 

“Ma, I’ll be fine. If I need anything, I’ll call.” I reassured her. 

Her hand rested on my cheek and with sad eyes, she nodded. “She’ll come home.” 

“I know. What’s killing me is not knowing-.” 

“Chris?” 

Looking to my left, my shocked eyes watched in horror as the figure walked towards me. I scurried away from Scott’s car, closer to the figure. She looked broken, bare feet tore up with cuts, but what caused my lips to tremble was the blood that covered her dress. 

“Y/N?” My lips quivered. “Baby?” 

Readers POV.

The soles of my heels burned with every step I took, closer and closer to my destination. The pavement scratched and cut my bare skin and I hissed in pain after every few steps. I wasn’t sure how long I had been walking but knew that I had a bit more to go. 

A soft breeze tangled around my legs, causing the cuts to sting and I let out another hiss of pain. I pulled the jacket closer around me, blocking out the view from anyone I had walked past, which thankfully wasn’t many. I was in a part of town that the scene of me, disheveled and cut all over was nothing new. I could feel all parts of my hair was matted and stuck to my face, the sweat and blood dried a long time ago. 

As the sun began to set, I knew I had to make it back before dark. This part of town was worse at night, but compared to what I had endured, that didn’t scare me. Nothing could scare me anymore. 

Time passed slowly as the streets started to become familiar and as my tired feet turned the corner, the familiar three story home that had all those windows slowly came into view. The closer I got, the bigger the windows looked. My heart leaped into my chest when I saw him leaning against a car, talking with someone I couldn’t see. It didn’t matter, however, all that mattered what that I had made it back; back home to him. 

“Chris?” My voice was raw and broken, barley coming past my lips. 

He pushed himself off the car, taking large strides towards me. His hand outstretched and shook, afraid that I wasn’t real. 

“Y/N? Baby?” 

Everything seemed to slow as I stood in front of him, broken and a mess, knowing that with the look in his eyes that he hadn’t slept since I left. 

“Is that...blood? Oh, god, please tell me it isn’t blood,” he cried, pulling me into his arms. 

I broke down in a sobbing mess in his chest, the hell from the past few days finally catching up to me. 

“It’s not mine,” I choked between sobs. 

“Shh, it’s alright. I’ve got you,” Chris cooed, large hands rubbing circles on my back. 

His body shook with sobs, happy that I had found my way home and sad from everything that happened to me. 

“We should get you to a hospital, baby.” Chris cupped my face. 

I wanted nothing more than to feel his lips on mine but I couldn’t force myself to close the distance; thankfully Chris understood. 

“I’m fine,” I tried to fight. 

“You’re not fine, Y/N. Please, let me take you to the hospital.” Chris begged with sad eyes. 

Eventually I nodded. I didn’t want to go to the hospital because I knew the cops would get called which meant I had to tell them what happened; something I wasn’t ready to tell. 

Silence was all we heard, threatening to pull us in deeper, as we waited for the doctor to return with the officer; they wanted to go over everything with them in the room. I agreed.  

Chris had his eyes trained hard on the floor, his body unreadable. 

“Chris?” My voice was quiet. 

He slowly looked up. “Do you need something?” 

I nodded and patted the spot next to me on the hospital bed. “Can you sit with me? I really need you right now.” 

In a flash he was up from the chair in the corner of the room and by my side, arm wrapped around my shoulder. He kissed my forehead and the warm gesture was enough to slowly heal my heart. 

“Ms. Y/L/N?” 

We both looked in the doorway and Chris greeted an officer and the doctor. 

“Baby, this is Officer Ramirez, she’s handing your case.” Chris informed me. 

The word sounded so wrong coming from his lips; your case. 

“Are you feeling alright?” The officer asked. 

I shrugged. “Better than I was earlier. The drugs helped ease the pain.” 

“Are you alright if I go over the results in front of him?” The doctor suddenly asked while nodding toward Chris. 

Linking our fingers together, I nodded. “He’s my boyfriend. He was with me for the tests, he’s staying for the results. 

It was the doctors turn to nod. “Alright. So you have two bruised ribs, a laceration to your neck, hip and hand which we all stitched up. Some bruising on your face, a black eye, and a few minor cuts on your face as well. You do have a slight concussion so do take it easy for the next week. The bottom of your feet are severely cut up and we pulled quite a few debris out of them so I recommend staying off your feet as well.” 

Chris stumbled over his words, trying to ask the one question that burned in his mind. Even though I reassured him countless times, he still needed to hear the doctor say it. 

“What about the rape kit?” He finally breathed out. 

“Negative. There was no sign of trauma and no foreign fluids. I don’t know how you survived, Ms. Y/L/N, but you are a fighter. I’ll leave you alone with Officer Ramirez.” 

After she left the room, I stole a glance at Chris who’s shoulders had eased up a bit, knowing that I wasn’t raped. I knew that it was on his mind the whole time I was gone and since I came back. 

“Are you up for giving your statement now?” Officer Ramirez asked. 

I nodded. “I need to.” 

Chris went to leave but I placed my hand on his thigh to stop him. “Please don’t leave me.” 

He nodded. “Okay, I’m right here.” 

Taking a deep breath, it came out shaky as I started telling them exactly what happened to me. 

“He had me in a run down motel room across town, I knew it was across town when I was able to escape. When he was getting ready to put on a condom,” I felt Chris’ body stiffen next to me, “I saw the knife he’d brought on the table next to the bed and I didn’t even think about it; I went for it.” 

“He was too fast and grabbed the knife before I was even off the bed. He used it on my, cutting up parts of my body. He didn’t care how loud I screamed or writhed in pain, he liked it.” 

“Uh, after he smacked my head against the wall for trying to escape, he handcuffed me to the bedpost so he could run out for something. I couldn’t hear what he said, my head was throbbing in pain. He was gone for quite awhile and I stayed locked to the bed the entire time. I remember feeling how warm and sticky my blood was as it dripped from my body.” 

I cried out, my hands shaking with the awful memories. 

Chris wrapped his arms around me to calm me down and looked at Officer Ramirez. “Can we finish this another time?” 

“No,” I shook my head while pulling away from his chest. “I have to tell them where his body is.” 

Chris’ head snapped over to me, his mouth falling agape. “Don’t say another word, Y/N. Not until I get you a lawyer.” 

“Damnit Chris, I don't want a lawyer! I did nothing wrong!,” I yelled. “That bastard, after he finally came back and unhandcuffed me, he passed out drunk in the bed next to me. I thought about running out but I knew that he would find me again. He felt me get out of bed and pulled me back down. We fought for the knife and he kept punching me in the head, smacking me against the wall. All I had was one second as he wiped my blood from his hand to reach for the knife, pushing it deep into his chest!” 

My cheeks were soaked with tears, replaying the memory of the knife going into Chad’s heart over and over again. How easily the knife slid into his chest and the sound it made hurt my ears. 

“I was so scared of what I had done that I sat in the corner of the room in the fetal position while his body went cold and ridged. I finally was able to will myself up and stole this dress from the laundry room of the hotel and walked all the way home.” 

Chris looked at me, completely helpless and broken, but knew that I needed him more than ever. While he had me in his arms, Chris looked over to the officer. 

“It’s clear what this is,” He stated. 

She nodded. “The defense attorney won’t be pressing any charges. We only needed to get her statement.” 

Chris and her chatted for a few more moments, her saying that she would be in touch, and it was finally Chris and I alone. 

“You alright?” He pulled my chin up to meet his eyes. 

“I was afraid I was going to die,” I admitted, “The only thing that kept me alive was thinking of you.” 

“You’re incredibly strong, Y/N.” Chris breathed in my hair, savoring my scent. 

Even though I was still covered in blood and sweat, not being able to shower until they collected evidence, I still smelled divine to him. 

We found ourselves laying in the hospital bed, my head on his chest, and I could feel his heart beating rapidly through his chest. 

“You can relax, I’m home now.” I reassured him. 

A stray tear fell from his eyes and I was quick to wipe it away. 

“I thought I lost you. I kept replaying our last words to each other in my head and blamed myself for what happened.” Chris admitted with a shaky breath. 

“No,” I cupped his cheek, “None of this is your fault; or mine. I’m sorry I ever compared you to him.” 

“Don’t apologize. I was being an asshole,” he stated. 

“I just want to move past this,” I sighed while laying my head back on his chest. 

Chris agreed with a kiss to my forehead. 

“I love you,” he muttered against it. 

My head shot up, looking into his eyes to see if he meant what he had just admitted. 

“What?” I asked. 

“I love you,” he said again, not missing a beat. 

Getting through the last 48 hours of hell had been worth it because not only had I survived, I made it back home to the man that loved me and who I loved. 

“I love you too,” I pressed my lips to his, feeling the familiar taste encase my tongue. 

There was a long road to recovery in front of me but I knew that it would be an easy one to walk; with Chris by my side.

[saigonharrington]

boyfriend // g.w angsty one shot

I would like to say hi to my 30 followers I love you so freaking much thanks (and sorry) for following me 🧡 and to all my non-followers thank you for reading my story

It would be nice if you guys could reblog my works, it helps me grow and motivates me so much

By the way, it’s the angstiest one shot I have ever written so before you can ask, I can assure you that I will make a part two ( there will be link to it if it will be posted) because I don’t want to leave your relationship with George like that

My last one shot was for non gryffindor readers so this one’s for you gryffindorks

George Weasley x fem!gryffindor!reader

The year when the Yule ball was held

Warnings: swearing and different swear words, cheating, mentions of cheating, crying, some unkind words about slytherin (im so sorry guys really I love you)

Word count: 2k I think

angst angst and once more angst

also I did it in 2nd person (I wrote it in 1st and then changed it so sorry if there are mistakes) because I read on someone’s blog that you prefer it like that ❤️

———————

The Triwizard tournament despite being a dangerous experience had some perks. Maybe not for me, but for some, the Yule Ball was the hot topic all the time. Boys were freaking out because they didn’t know if the girl they’d planned to ask will say yes, while girls were comparing their dresses and talked about crushes they developed to have. Everything was a mess, even teachers seemed to talk only about the night that the ball is held.

And here you were, not going.

“Honestly, Y/N, even though Adrian doesn’t want to go, does not mean that you should spend this night alone. You can always join our group.” Angelina spoke to you, seeing your upset face. You were sitting in the dormitory, girls were putting their dresses and make-up on, trying not to mess up their hairstyles.

“You’re going with Fred, each one of you has a pair, I don’t want to interrupt.” You explained.

“Don’t be silly, we’re going as friends and nothing more. And I bet everyone would agree with us that you should go, for once thinking about yourself. I’m sure Pucey won’t mind. Although he’s sick, that doesn’t mean you should babysit him or sit all damn night here without a soul to talk to.” Alicia encouraged you.

“I’m not sure. It’s too late to start preparing. I don’t even want to go, dancing isn’t my thing. And all that stuff that makes this night official, it’s so stressful.” You are a good friend, right? It isn’t your night, tonight is only about them. You don’t want to third wheel anyone.

“You know we can help you. Boys can wait 30 minutes longer. And think about it, you’re not the only one who’s going without a pair. George, Katie, and Lee are going alone. Also, Harry and Ron set up with Patil twins, these girls will leave them after ten minutes, because boys do not match their personalities, I tell you. Believe it or not, maybe 30 percent of people will be at the ball with the one they fancy. It’s about fun, not significant others. Some younger students are also attending this ball, you can’t tell me that you resign because of your boyfriend. He wouldn’t feel betrayed just for the reason that you’ll show up to the dance where are teenagers, or frankly speaking - children. You’re going with us.” Alicia ranted, sick of your excuses.

“And I agree with Alicia. No time to mope around. What could be wrong with spending time with your favorite people? We’re gonna dance until our knees become weak, and then we’ll be eating til’ our tummies can’t take more. Also, can you imagine those Durmstrang boys in suits? You can’t say no to them. Bet they look freaking good and every one of them will want to dance with a girl like you. Now get your butt here, someone’s got to help you with make-up. Alicia can you do her hair then?” Angelina got excited and made you sit in front of her to have your make-up done.

“But what will you wear?” Spinnet asked when she finished her job.

“Actually, my mom sent me a dress, which I keep deep in my closet because I knew I won’t go…” You whispered.

“Shut up! And you didn’t tell us?” Angelina exclaimed. “Now it would be extremely dumb not to go. This dress can’t be wasted, put it on!”

You did as they wished, putting on the clothes. You didn’t have the right shoes, so you decided to wear casual black sneakers.

“You look amazing, Y/N” “Yeah, Adrian would’ve been sad if he knew how fine you look tonight.” Girls complimented you. “I bet our friends are waiting in the common room. We should go.”

Lee, Katie, George, Fred, and Alicia’s partner sat by the fireplace talking about something.

“You’re finally here!” Katie shouted smiling wide. “And Y/N! I’m so happy that you’re going. Your dress is phenomenal.” She squealed.

“It’s their fault.” You pointed at Angelina and Alicia. “They persuaded me.”

“That’s good! It’s going to be our night, and you’ll have fun despite Pucey’s absence. I can’t wait!” If Katie could fly, she would do it right now.

“Confidence looks good on you.” George interjected, walking closer to you. You were friends for a couple of years. He was always by your side, along with his twin, but You never bonded with Fred that well as with his younger copy. You got through so much together, that only made your friendship stronger. Frankly speaking, You were quite happy that he was going alone. Since your boyfriend didn’t go at all, You wanted to have someone to talk to.

“Thank you, Georgie. Do you think it would be alright if I tried to check up on Adrian? I’m worried about him and I don’t want to seem selfish.” You changed the subject.

“You know that it’s hard to get to a different gender’s dorm. Not to mention that it’s the slytherin boy’s dorm.”

“I won’t go then. But please try not to joke about slytherins this night. It’s my boyfriend’s house therefore it hurts me a little.”

“Whatever you want.” He didn’t seem to worry, but You were completely serious. His pranks sometimes went too far. Adrian didn’t care bout them, while you personally found them inappropriate. You love George, he’s your best friend, but his hate towards slytherin house and all the members drove you mad. You thought that people are done with stereotypes and generalizing.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked you, seeing that you do not pay attention to what’s happening.

“Nothing important. Let’s head to the table.” You replied, intertwining your hands, taking empty seats next to Fred and Angelina.

“You know guys, we’re gonna dance first, we’ll come to eat later.” Alicia took her partner’s hand and dived into a crowd on the dance floor.

As time went by, Angelina and Fred disappeared as well, showing their moves as if they were taking part in some kind of competition. The next thing You knew is that you and George were left alone by the table because even Katie and Lee were in the mood for a party.

“It would be lame if we stayed there and eat all night. If you will?” George asked for your hand, and you joined your group on the floor. Everything was great, You wanted to thank the girls for making you go, but before You had a chance, a slow song started playing, and people divided into pairs, leaving you and George next to each other.

“You know, I might go check on Adrian, I’m sure he doesn’t want to sit in the dorm all night, and maybe we could talk for a bit.” You panicked, seeing a couple of slytherins looking at you as if they wanted to kill you for spending time with the Weasley. To be honest, You felt uncomfortable with it and you didn’t want to seem careless.

“Just one dance, please? Then you can go.” George pleased.

“Georgie?” You asked, while resting yout head on his arm. “These people are staring, and it makes me very anxious.”

“Maybe we should give them the show that they’re asking for.” George replied and before You could think about a response, he kissed you in your mouth. If felt so strange, yet so good. His lips were so soft, his big hands on your waist were holding you tightly, warm feeling entered your body. You returned the kiss, forgetting about the whole world and people around you, who probably glanced at you, but you couldn’t care until it hit you.

“George, I’ve got a boyfriend.” You almost cried, knowing that now You cheated on Adrian and the whole hall witnessed this.

“And yet you kissed me back.” He smirked, not worrying about it as much as you did.

“I should tell him the truth.” You said to yourself, exiting the ballroom, running in panic to Slytherin’s common room.

“No, Y/N, wait!” George shouted. “I wanted to do it for so freaking long. And you showed me that you might feel the same way about me, you can’t just walk out of the Great Hall and leave me alone. I deserve explanation.”

To say you were furious would be an understatement. How could he make this about him, when clearly You were in worse situation.

“George shut up for a moment! Can’t you see what I did? I let you kiss me, returning it. Don’t you know what people will gossip about? Me. Only me and my bad actions, because t’s always the girl’s fault. I do have to tell him before he finds out from someone else. You have to understand me and for once, give me some time. We’ll talk later, I promise.”

“But I love you. I love you since our second year, and now that I showed my affection and had the courage to make the first move, you’re leaving me. You’re always talking about Adrian. It makes me sick. How can you be with someone like him? He’s bad, like most of the Slytherins plus you must be blind not to see the way he treats you. He’s always so mean, doesn’t like to hold hands with you, does not understand your jokes. But I do. I’m always with you and for you. I’m the one who wipes your tears after he does something stupid, I’m the one who’s wanting the best for you. I’m really fucking mad that you’re with him. I should be your damn boyfriend who can hold your hand forever and will never let go, who will kiss you so passionately until you lose your breath. And I wouldn’t cheat on you as he does. I couldn’t help myself. When we danced, you looked so fucking perfect. You always look like that. And Pucey cheated on you, at least twice. I saw it with my eyes, I swear. I thought about it all the time, wanting to punch his face so bad that his own mother wouldn’t recognize him. No one cheats on a girl like you, Y/N. No one should ever cheat. He managed to do it more than once and I hate him for that.” He admitted, not noticing that You were already crying. “But you know what? If it makes you feel better, you can go to him. I know he’s not sick, he’s sitting with one of his girls, avoiding you, and no doubt, he’s doing more than kissing her. You can see it for yourself if you don’t believe me.” He almost shouted.

“Fine! I will! Even if it’s true, it wasn’t the right time to kiss me in front of that many people! I’m going to be called a whore and no one will protect me, because they saw what we did. It’s not going to be your fault, but I’m blaming you. Because you said no one should ever cheat. And what you did, was the exact opposite. If all boys are like that, then I’m fucking done.” You exclaimed, leaving him outside the common room.

You tried to control my tears, yet you lost your control while you heard weird noises from your boyfriend’s dorm.

“I was so damn stupid that I believed you! Do what you want, asshole, I’m not your girlfriend anymore. As if it mattered anytime.” You screamed, being pissed off at him, yourself, and George. Because his words were true, and you didn’t notice it earlier. You felt so fucking stupid.

You ran through the empty corridors, trying to focus on finding the shortest way to your dorm room. You passed by some couples kissing, but they did not saw you. Or they didn’t want to. You tried not to stare at them too, being in the worst mood you ever could be.

“Do not say a thing Weasley. I want to be alone.” You spoke, seeing George waiting outside your common room, and before the boy could reply, you disappeared at the door.

please reblog and comment because I want to interact with you and the more people are enjoying the story the sooner I’ll write the second part 😊

[frillshark-fr]

How do you get people to always buy your dragons? Genuine question

i was gonna say something like “haha i have no fucking clue” but that would be a lie i think about this a lot actually so i might have some insights i’ve been breeding dragons as my primary activity on FR since i started playing FR (in 2014...) and people have only started actually buying dragons from me consistently like, 5-6 months ago, despite 2-3 attempts at running a genuine hatchery onsite that always died due to lack of interest & not really being worth the effort. 

so ive thought a lot about what the hell is happening now and why my dragons are suddenly consistently selling and I think ive come down to these being the main points of advice i can give: 1. make friends! be friendly! don’t be weird! be a cool and fun person to interact with! 2. post consistently. post your dragons consistently. post about other stuff consistently. just be an active member of the community 3. POST YOUR SHIT IN THE “#FLIGHT RISING” TAG. THIS IS PROBABLY THE ONLY TRUELY HELPFUL THING I SAY IN THIS POST 4. make pairs that are sexy as hell and be openly proud of them. make dragons and pairs that you like, not what you think will necessarily sell. people can tell when you like stuff and being genuinely passionate about something, whatever the fuck it is, will get other people passionate as well longer versions/explanations under the cut because man this got a mile long. i wasn’t kidding when i said i think about this a lot and i am so sorry if you wanted something concise and useful

1. to be a little glib. i am mutuals/friends with more clout in the FR community than I do kjdshfdsfdhjhkfdf shoutout to everyone who draws their dragons really good on a regular basis because i am riding on your coattails to sell my dragons. i love you this was never my intent, obviously! DO NOT BEFRIEND PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU WILL GET STUFF FROM THEM IT’S JUST A REALLY BAD THING TO DO TO PEOPLE!!! i wouldn’t be friends w/ people if i didn’t genuinely like and get along with them! no amount of pixel cash is worth putting up with people you dont like or abusing people you admire!  but i’d also somehow feel wrong to just... neglect mentioning this factor. idk it’s probably a self-esteem thing sjdkgfhdsf i just Don’t feel like my #success has been totally out of my own effort because its not like im #hustling or whatever i just posted dragons and stuff happened

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2. being consistent! just. posting consistently! posting Every Hatchling I Have and Talking About Them On Tumblr!  Once I had a couple nests just sell super fast likely due to aforementioned clout, i was emboldened to just post more of my nests more often and I swear this has more effect than anything else. i just needed the self-esteem boost to Start Doing That posting consistently makes ppl follow u for ur content which gets even more people to look at your dragons which gets more people to buy your dragons.

-

2a. Also just post a lot in general, even if you aren’t necessarily posting about your dragons for sale. it definitely helps! just be friendly and active and people will come

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3. post your shit in the tag. not in “#dragon-sales” or “#fr-dragon-sales” or anything weird like that because I don’t know if anyone actually looks at those, but people definitely browse “#flight rising”. no matter how many followers you have, more people will see your content if you post it in #flight rising than if you just chuck it into the void. 

-

3a. however! do not put links into the post if you want it to actually show up in the tag. tumblr is cool in that it doesn’t actually matter that much when you post something, the same way it really matters on twitter bc twitter has algorithms that decide for you what it thinks you want to be seeing whereas tumblr just shows you everything in chronological order. if you post something into the tag at 1am... it will still be there at 2pm when people log on and start scrolling.

the only thing tumblr seems to consistently hide from a tag (and possibly a dashboard, but idk) are posts with links in them, as a half-assed attempt to limit spam. instead of linking to your sales tab/to the dragons directly in the post, reblog it with the links instead. to reduce latency between a post going up and the links being available, i type out the links in the initial post, cut them, post the thing into the tag, then very quickly reblog, paste the links, and post the reblog jdhfsdf. i don’t know if that benefits anything really? but it can sometimes take me a while to type links, so if i posted, pressed reblog, typed up all the links, then posted, it’d be like ~15 minutes where someone may see the post, think “oh i would like to buy those dragons”, then can’t find the link, think “oh well, i will just find it later”, scroll on, and just... completely forget about it. so uh. go quick?

-

3b. the armchair sociologist in me also thinks self-reblogging has the added benefit of like... you know how people are more likely to tip a barista when a dollar is already in the tip jar? or how people are more likely to take one of those little tabs on a flyer if one of them is already missing? i think that works with notes, too. i don’t know why i think that or why it happens i just swear once a post gets 1 note, suddenly it gets Even More Notes, and if it doesn’t get any notes for a while it will sit at 0 notes until the end of time. so giving yourself 1 obligatory note makes people more likely to interact. i think

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4. all of these are hard to quantify but this one is especially so: have cool and unique dragons. make your pairs sexy as hell. don’t put all your eggs (hah) into the one basket of selling dragons that are technically “popular”. we have all seen triple white/triple obsidian/triple orca/triple any other popular colors and cherub/pere/stained or wasp/bee/glim pthahlos or whatever. they’re pretty! we get it! but everyone has had one and everyone has had those pairs and market for dragons like that can be super oversaturated. try to break free from that and sell dragons that people can only get from you. I can’t tell you what to do though bc that rly depends on you. make pairs that you find exciting or interesting and people will feel that. i have a very specific theme and aesthetic that i don’t feel like is especially common on FR and i am genuinely very enthusiastic about it. marine shit is my Thing:tm: both on and off FR and dragons are one of my many ways of expressing that   if you have a Thing:tm:, either some fr-centric aesthetic (like being super into plague or earth or light or something) or something more general (such as any of the -punks or -cores)... just fuckin roll with it honestly. if you’re goth? make got h dragons. like scene stuff that looks straight out of a middle school in 2010? rock that hot-topic lair. outdoorsey type? make dragons that look like you’d meet them on a hike in the woods. it really works with anything!  people can tell when you really love something and i know that seeing someone really love something, even if it’s not necessarily MY thing, makes me really excited too!! 

-

4a. never show fear. people can smell fear. never be like “well this one isn’t that good” because suddenly now you’ve planted the idea that it’s ugly in other people’s heads when they may have really liked it had you not accidentally suggested to them that it’s an ugly dragon. people are EXTREMELY suggestible to even VERY minor cues so be always a little bit bolder than you think you should be you’d be surprised at how many times ive been like “eh, this one’s kind of a dud, i’ll probably have to exalt this one when the auction expires” and then that hatchling is the first to sell. never ever ever ever decide what other people like for them. always act like your dragons are the hottest shit in all the land and Believe It. this is what people mean when they say “fake it till you make it”

- 4b. also, idk if it’s true of everyone but it’s really off-putting to see someone having serious pity-parties for themselves, on sales posts or otherwise. ive had bad experiences with people who are uncomfortably quick to self-depreciate (because they were using their genuine self-hatred to manipulate me or my friends), so i might be a little more trigger-happy about avoiding this behavior than others, but don’t weaponize your sadness to guilt people into doing what you want. it’s really not cool.

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okay i think that’s my entire manifesto on how i do dragon selling. anon i am so sorry im sure you were expecting like “believe in yourself :)” and here i am dissecting dragon selling like it’s a frog in a science class

edit: AFTER ALL THAT I STILL THOUGHT OF ONE MORE THING. It’s not really a Point, just a Reminder:

i don’t post about all the times i have to exalt dragons that don’t sell. you are seeing me being very selective about what i post. you dont sit and stare at my lair or click through offspring lists or check old sales posts. there are a lot of times where someone just doesn’t sell. even now when i’m selling stuff pretty consistently i will still sometimes have dragons that don’t sell for seemingly no reason. even dragons I think are sure to sell will sometimes just... not. and that’s ok! you gotta just be.. ok with that. it’s par for the course. i typically list dragons for 7 days on the AH, give them a couple more days after their auction expires (partially because i forget, partially to give them a grace period for people to pm/ask me about them), and then exalt them after that point. w/ some dragons that i don’t think got a fair shake for one reason or another (such as the sales post not showing up in the tag or something) i do a little clearance (like the halloween dragons i recently posted) but for the most part if they don’t sell, i just exalt them. 90% of the time i don’t even bother to level them up i just press the exalt button and call it a day. it’s fine

[imaginariumrpc]

okay so the lovely @imbicilite​ / @whitrph​ and i were talking and it gave me the idea and we thought it was a great idea to spread it around so here’s how it goes: when talking with someone about pretty much anything tbh, but especially for something that could potentially be triggering, communicate with color codes based on city traffic lights ! GREEN means it’s good to talk about these things and you’re not feeling triggered by the topic, YELLOW means to slow down or stop talking about the topic at for now while RED means to stop the conversation about the topic immediately until green again where the conversation can divert into another topic or they feel safe to talk about it again !! this is EXTREMELY important, because it’s a way to alert others that you’re going to be talking about something that could possibly upset someone because of the subject matter, especially for those who may get triggered by a certain topic - even without you realizing it because squicks and triggers can honestly be anything, it could be different words or phrases or certain topics - and can cause severe anxiety in those affected, even panic attacks or flashbacks, and because we want to be considerate and respectful towards one another, it’s important that we use these to help our friends and fellow rpers know that we’re going to be posting or talking about something they might not want to see or talk about, and it’s of utmost importance to make them feel safe, it’s best to use this to be a more supportive friend and a member of the rpc!!

on a sidenote, i’m also here to tell you about tone indicators !! keep in mind that i didn’t come up with nor invent the concept of tone tags itself, but it was being spread around for a while now and i’d figured i’d talk about it !! essentially, tone indicators are used to indicate if the person is joking, being serious, etc., neurodivergent people often have trouble conveying and understanding emotion and tone through written text, using tone indicators is really helpful for neurodivergent people to make it easier for them to read/convey, it is also very helpful for people with anxiety. i encourage anyone who reads this to also type the meaning of the tone tag ( i.e: i love you !! /p for platonic ), so it is more accessible for neurodivergent and disabled people, like those who use screen readers.

“why should we use tone tags?” one might ask, but as an autistic, disabled and otherwise neurodivergent person myself, sometimes i don’t always get my friends and fellow mutual’s tones by their message but when they use tone indicators, it helps me understand and, not to mention that it can be really helpful and avoid misunderstandings. i would also like to note that NOT ALL neurodivergent people want you to use tone indicators on them, so if they don’t want you to use tone tags on them, please respect their wishes.

“i don’t like tone tags!” one might add, well, okay... but don’t make fun of the people that use them, it’s not a big deal, and if you’re a neurotypical who insists on not using tone tags when a neurodivergent person clearly asked you to, get your head out of your ass.

“using /j at the end of a joke ruins it!!” one might bitch, and okay but... it might be ruined for you, but it still makes me laugh, personally, so please try and get used to it, and not to mention, what’s more important: making sure you’re clear with your tone so that there’s no misunderstandings or throwing a fit just because the joke’s ruined for you?

additionally, some other things to keep in mind !! please do not mock the use of tone tags, you may not need them but some people do, not everyone can tell when something is a joke, when someone’s either being platonic, romantic or sexual in intentions, etc.,, especially when there’s no visual cues or tones of voice to help us, just be nice about it, it’s... really not hard, man. if you don’t use a tone tag and someone reads the tone of your statement incorrectly, do not get upset with them or laugh at them for not getting it - that is perpetuating ableism and/or sanism, whether you intentionally intend it or not. just kindly clarify and next time, keep in mind that tone tags are very helpful for neurodivergent, disabled and people with anxiety disorders. using a tone tag isn’t an excuse to be mean either, you can’t just say something mean or not cool and then put /j ( “joking” ) after it to get away with it, don’t be an ass. if you’re saying something that could be anxiety inducing for others, i would highly recommend putting the tone tags at not only the end but also the beginning of that post. do not intentionally use tone tags incorrectly “as a joke”, to confuse people, etc., the entire point of tone tags is to clarify, not confuse people, if you intentionally use them incorrectly, you’re an ass. keep in mind that no one has to use all the tone tags, use what you’d like, respect others who use what they would like, use them however feels rights to you. for me personally, sometimes i use multiple, sometimes only one, or sometimes none at all, just do what feels right, depending on who i’m talking to and how long i’ve known this person or group of people i’m speaking to, it’ll be fine, and if someone asks for clarification on what you mean, that’s okay, kindly clarify for them. additionally, please be patient if people don’t know what tone tags are, someone might not even be aware of what they are and that’s not their fault, just patiently explain it to them or link them to a source !! education always helps !! please don’t use “/srs or serious” as a joke, some neurodivergent and/or disabled people don’t need you to use three tone tags, and in my case, i’m presuming you’re neurotypical if you’re doing that when conversing with me, but what i’m trying to say is it looks like you’re babying us neurodivergents / disabled folx, so try to use only two tags ( that is, if that person is okay with it !! ), because some people don’t need you to use three tags.

please note that the following aren’t every single example out there and there are different terminologies in different languages, but they are important, a few examples of these are: 

“/j = joking / used when saying something in a joking manner, “so im pretty much the president of oreos /j”, 

“/hj = half joking / used when saying something that’s kind of a joke but kind of serious / “well,,,,, im usually right /hj” / 

“/s or /sarc / refers to the opposite of what you really want to say / “i just [clenches fists] love...... being sad..... /s”, 

“/srs / used when saying something you really mean / “i really appreciate you /srs””, 

“/nsrs = not serious / used when saying something not too seriously / “you’re the worst /nsrs”, 

“/lh = lighthearted = used when something’s said lightheartedly / “hEY LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS /lh” / i’d say something like this when me and my friends would get into a silly argument and they’re trying to ask my opinion on a topic”, 

“/ij = referring to something that’s only understood by people with special knowledge about something, typically only a small group of friends or a group of people would be aware of, those outside of the group would most likely be confused by it or not find it funny in the same way people within in the group would / “aAAAAAAAAA MY NUGGIES!!!!! /ij””, 

“/ref = a reference to media, usually movies, tv, music, etc., “yOU SHALL NOT PAAAAAAAASSSSSSS /ref”, 

“/t = teasing, use when teasing someone or provoking someone, often playfully, “aiight sure mx idk wtf im doin /t”, 

“nm = not mad, to indicate you’re not actually mad or upset about something / “ow... i felt that /nm”, 

“lu = a little upset / used when about about something or someone, but not too upset / “oh... that sucks /lu”, 

“/nbh = “nobody here” = often used when talking about something vague to ensure your friends it’s not indirectly to or about them / “sometimes i just wanna..... tell someone to shut the fuck up /nbh”, 

“/nay = not at you / used when saying something but not meaning it at the person you’re responding to / “god i can’t stand lame people /nay”, 

“/ay = “at you”, make the person aware you’re addressing them”, 

“/g or /gen = used when saying or asking something for real / “i’m proud of you /g” or “have you watched the news?? /gen”, 

“/th = threat, used when giving a genuine threat / “if you don’t stop, i’ll block you /th”, 

“/p = platonic, a friendship type of love, used when saying something with platonic intentions / “i love you /p”, 

“/r = romantic intentions, typically of partners when saying something with romantic intentions / “i love you /r””, 

“/a = alterous, an attraction best described as wanting emotional closeness without necessarily being at all or entirely platonic and/or romantic, used when saying with alterous intentions / “i love you /a””

“/m = metaphor / used when saying something metaphorically / “god you’re a shining star /m””

“/li = literal / used when saying something literally / “i hate pears /li””

“/rh = rhetorical / a question asked in order to create a dramatic effect or to make a point rather than to get an answer / used when saying or asking something rhetorically / “who cares? /rh””

“/hyp = hyperbole, exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literally ; “i have a million things to do today”

“/sx = sexual intent, used when meaning something in a sexual way”, 

“/nsx = nonsexual intent, used when meaning something in a not sexual way”, 

“/pos = positive / used when saying something and meaning it in a positive way / “omg im gonna cry /pos”, implied they’re crying for a happy reason”, 

“/neg = negative / used when saying something and meaning it in a negative way / “omg im gonna cry /neg”, implied they’re crying for an upsetting reason”, and 

“/neu = neutral / used to show that what you’re saying is neutral or that you feel indifferent about it / “yeah i don’t care man do what you want /neu”, you don’t care about something but not in a mean or a negative way, you’re just indifferent”.

on a final note, HERE is a list of tone tags both in english and in other languages ( namely italian, spanish, portuguese, french, polish, german, lithuanian, serbian, dutch, indonesian, romanian, bulgarian, russian, hebrew, japanese, mandarin and korean !! ) and HERE are the list of sources about the content of tone tags !! i wish everyone reading this a lovely day !!

[illfoandillfie]

The Dinner Party

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader + Rami Malek, Lucy Boynton, Joe Mazzello, Gwilym Lee 

Summery: Ben finds out about one of your fantasies and offers to help make it a reality.

Warnings: SMUT 18+ !!! it’s a big ol’ gang bang folks! unprotected sex, dom/sub dynamics, sensory deprivation (blindfolds), gags, restraints, choking, slapping, biting, spanking, oral (f and m receiving), a*al, orgasm denial, overstimulation/forced orgasm, nipple play, fingering, degradation, sexual objectification, handjobs, i think thats everything oh god i dont know theres a lot

Words: 11,538 (jesus)

A/N: I am so sorry I made you wait so long for this one - the last couple of months have been fucking whack as heck. Anyway, I hope she was worth waiting for! I’m gonna go have 12 cold showers in a row and scream for a while.

(its so fucking hard to find photos of all of them together jesus christ)

Taglist:  @idontbelievethiss @somekindof-cheese @dtfrogertaylor   @ezmina98  @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks 

“So, uhh, that fantasy you sent me the other night,” Ben ran his fingers lightly up and down your arm, “You really got off to that?”   You could feel the sweat caught between your back and his chest, skin sticking together where you leaned against him. His hand was heavy on your stomach, moving with you as you wiggled around, trying to decrease the sticky discomfort.   “Well, yeah, otherwise I wouldn’t have sent it. Was it too much?”   It was something you did when you were away from each other. When you’d been apart for too long and you were yearning for each other's touch. You’d message each other with what you’d thought about while masturbating. Like a lot of the little traditions and patterns you and Ben developed, it had started as a joke. But now it felt weird to not do it. Sometimes it was links to porn videos or erotic stories found online. Sometimes it was reminiscences about previous nights together. And sometimes it was just one word. You.    “No, it was pretty hot actually.”   This time the distance had been caused by Ben’s filming schedule taking him overseas for three whole months. It was the longest you’d been separated in a while, and your game had turned into a bit of a competition. Trying to one up each other with wilder fantasies. You’d sent the last one, drawing on something you’d thought about a lot but never really divulged to anyone before in order to claim victory. The moment you’d hit send you’d worried it was too much. Ben knew you had a thing for exhibitionism and for being treated like an object, happy to help you indulge in them from time to time, but you’d never really exposed how deep they went. His response amounted to an oh my god and a couple of flushed face emojis. No come back, no one upping. Just three words and two little symbols. You hoped it was because he had nothing hotter to counter with and not because you’d freaked him out too much.  

Three days later he was back home, hurriedly removing your shirt within minutes of walking through the door. The sex was neither sweet nor soft, though the way Ben sat up and pulled you against him afterwards, kissing your temple in the process, was both.    “Glad you think so. It’s one I’ve thought about a lot.”   “And you’ve never mentioned it before why?”   “I don’t know, not every guy would be cool hearing about how his girlfriend dreams of being used by a bunch of strangers.”   “Okay, yeah, spose that’s fair.” He was quiet for a moment, absentmindedly stroking your skin with feather light touches, “But if you got the chance, you’d really want to do something like that?”   “I think so, yeah. Maybe not actually with strangers. Don’t think I’d feel comfortable enough to get into it if I didn’t know and trust everyone there. But in theory, yes.”   “What if... what if I could arrange for something like it to happen?”   “What?” You sat up straight and turned to face him, convinced you’d misheard him.   “If I found some people you were comfortable with who... wanted to help make this a reality would you want to do it?”   “You’re taking the piss, right?”    “I swear I’m being serious. If you wanted to actually do something like that, I’d be into it. I’d help set it up.”   “Are you feeling okay?” you pressed the back of your hand to Ben’s forehead like you were checking his temperature but he just laughed, grabbing you by the wrist so he could bring your hand to his lips.    “I feel fine, babe.” His smile hit you like a ton of bricks. Fuck you’d missed that smile.   “Can’t blame a girl for checking,”   “Look, what you described was incredibly hot and the idea of watching you be used like that...” he trailed off but you didn’t need him to say anything else, his rapidly hardening cock was proof enough. You repositioned yourself on your hands and knees, taking his cock in one hand, “You wanna watch me, blindfolded and restrained, being fucked until im crying? Wanna see me helpless and desperate and used by a whole group of people?” Your strokes along his shaft were interrupted as Ben wrapped his hand around your throat.   “I really do,” he growled as he pushed you back onto your knees, “but I think I need to fuck you again, make sure you remember who really owns your cunt.”  

Ben didn’t mention it again that week, though he barely let you out of his reach. He always got extra clingy and cuddly after you’d been reunited, surprising you with soft deep kisses and tight hugs at random. Always finding some reason to touch you, a hand on your back while you were standing at the stove, brushing fingers as you slipped past each other in the corridor, clutching your waist as he pulled you onto his lap while you played video games together. You figured he’d forgotten about your conversation now that the immediate heat and need for each other had been replaced with a softer desire to just be close. Not that you minded. You were happy to let that fantasy remain a fantasy, and if you were honest you hadn’t fully believed Ben when he suggested making it happen for real. Until he brought it up about a week and a half after his return.  

You were watching TV, resting your head on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around you, when he spoke.   “So I got a call from Lucy today, turns out in a couple weeks time the whole band will be in London. We’re planning on meeting up for a few drinks, something like that.”   “Oh that’s so great Ben,” you said, pulling your eyes from the ad for bathroom cleaner you’d been mindlessly staring at and looking up at him, “Be nice to see everyone again, all at once.”   “Yeah. Actually, I thought I might suggest they all come over here for dinner one night.”   “That’s a wonderful idea.”   “And, uh, if you were still interested, we could maybe give them all a chance to fuck you.”   You choked, an exclamation of surprise catching in your throat.   “Sorry, couldn’t resist,” Ben said, almost laughing as he hurried to get you a glass of water. You glared at him through watery eyes as your coughing fit subsided, gulping down the water as soon as he’d handed it over.   “What the fuck?” you rasped out once you were back in control of your voice.   “I didn’t think you were going to choke. Just thought it’d surprise you. You alright?”   “Yeah, fine. But what the fuck?” You grabbed the remote to mute the TV, a signal that you wanted Ben to take this conversation seriously.    “It was just a suggestion,” he said with a half shrug, “You said you’d be interested in doing it.”   “I am, I just.... They’re your friends Ben, wouldn’t it be kinda weird?”   He shrugged again, “Maybe at first. But you said you’d be more comfortable if you knew the people involved. Well, you know them. And I trust them. It’s worth thinking about at least.”   You paused, chewing your lip as you took in what he was saying properly, the original shock having passed. It did kind of make sense.   “Would… would they be into it?” you said slowly.   “I mean, I’d have to talk to them. But, yeah, I think so.” he shrugged slightly.   “And you’d be okay with it?”   “Yes,” he answered matter-of-factly.   “Really? Ben it’s one thing to think about it while you get off or talk about in the abstract. It’s a whole other thing to actually watch your girlfriend having sex with other people, especially your friends.” you shifted in your seat, moving to kneel beside him and reaching out to stroke his cheek, “I don’t want you to do something you’re not fully comfortable with just to try and make me happy. It was my fantasy to begin with and I am totally okay with leaving it like that. Really think about this before you say anything else.”   He reached up, taking your hand in his and tracing lines over the back of your fingers, “But I have thought about it. A lot. Kind of non-stop actually. And I want to do it, if you do.”   “Really?”   “Yes. Look, it’s not like there’s gonna be feelings involved. This isn’t making love on a bed of roses type stuff. I’m not gonna be watching you have a romantic night with anyone. I’m gonna watch you being treated like a living sex toy by multiple people. Probably join in a bit too. And you’re not the only one who can set boundaries. If there’s anything I don’t feel comfortable seeing happen I’ll let everyone know.”   You opened your mouth to speak but Ben cut you off.   “If you ask me ‘really?’ one more time,” he laughed, pulling you off your knees and onto his lap, “Y/N, I promise you I am more than okay with this. It might have been your fantasy but it was my suggestion to actually do it. If it was strangers involved it’d be different. But the guys? None of them are going to hurt you, they’ll all respect whatever rules we put in place, and they’ll make sure it’s fun.”   Your eyes roamed over Ben’s face, looking for any sign of discomfort or unease but all you saw was a plea for trust.   “Okay. Talk to them, see how they all feel about it. But if anyone isn’t into it, the dinner stays as just a dinner. Deal?”   “Deal.” He rested his forehead against yours, “I love you.”   You hummed, kissing him softly.    “Love you too, Benny.”  

Over the next week Ben talked to everyone individually, gauging their interest in the dinner party and any extra activities that may involve. Some were a little more hesitant than others but by the end of the week everyone was a hard yes. It made your stomach tighten every time you thought about it, anticipation and excitement and nerves building as you counted down the days. You and Ben worked out the rules, where lines would be drawn and where boundaries would lie to ensure the night was safe and fun for everyone involved. You collected supplies, discussed and re-discussed how everything would work as well as planning the actual dinner party aspect – food and drink and music. As the night got closer you found yourself more and more aroused, constantly wet, unable to think about anything else for too long. Ben for his part seemed just as affected by it as you were and you found yourselves naked together much more frequently than you’d expected to. Not once was it rough though. It was like the two of you were saving all your energy for the dinner party, spending the hours in bed having lazy, gentle sex, soft kisses and gasped names and whispered ‘I love you’s. By the time the actual night rolled around you were burning for something harder and faster, looking forward to being used and bruised.   

Half an hour before everyone turned up you started to get ready. You’d been wearing your plug all day, at Ben’s suggestion, but it still made you shiver when you caught a glimpse of it as you were getting dressed, the sparkly jewel catching the light as you checked your reflection. The lingerie you’d picked out left very little to the imagination, a crotchless thong and matching sheer bra, the garter belt and stockings the most modest part of the outfit. You fixed your makeup, adding extra mascara and reapplying your lipstick knowing it would just end up smudged.   

“They’ll be here in ten babe, you ready?” Ben asked as he knocked on the bedroom door. You took a deep breath, looking over yourself one last time before you left the room. The soft ‘wow’ Ben gave you made you giggle as he led you through your unit to the mixed living/dining room. You’d rearranged the furniture earlier, shifting the coffee table over to the wall which left space for you to kneel in front of anyone on the couch. The dinner table was already laid out for everyone, except you of course, a tray of champagne glasses waiting to be offered around. You headed towards the coffee table, running your hand along it as you checked all the toys were there. Some of them were things you’d used before, some were newly bought specifically for tonight. Each had been carefully considered between you and Ben, only those you were both completely comfortable with being put out.   

“Okay, let’s do this,” you said as you headed to your position in the middle of the room.    Ben grabbed the spreader bar off the coffee table, attaching the cuffs to your ankles, forcing you to stand with legs wide open. The butterflies in your stomach went wild, everything suddenly feeling more real.   “You all good?” Ben asked as he stood back up.   “I’m wonderful. You?”   “Brilliant.” He flashed you a reassuring smile and pecked you on the lips before turning to pick up the ball gag and press it into your mouth. Your lips stretched around it as he adjusted the fastening at the back of your head. You nodded to show you were comfortable and he turned once more, reaching for the black bandana that was going to be your blindfold for the night. You wanted to touch yourself, relieve some of the pressure that had been building all day but Ben grabbed your hands, pulling them in front of you, palms up. You heard him walk away and then come back with the tray of drinks, placing it carefully on your upturned hands.    “Okay, all set. I’m gonna go check the dinner but everyone should start arriving soon. See you afterwards.”    You hummed your agreement as he brushed a strand of hair behind your ear and pressed a kiss to your forehead. His touch left you but he was still close by. You felt him lean into your ear, sending a shiver down your spine as he growled a final warning in the voice he reserved for dominating you.   “Don’t drop the drinks, slut.”  

You were left in almost silence. Your unit wasn’t huge but the kitchen was far enough away that the noise was muffled. Or maybe you were just so aware of how much being left alone in such a vulnerable position turned you on, that outside noise just wasn’t getting through as easily. It was just you and your pounding heart and your steadily growing arousal. Nothing to do but wait and hope your arms didn’t give out under the tray of glasses. You had no idea how long it had been. You’d had about ten minutes when you’d started being set up, surely that time would have passed by now. Saliva was beginning to dribble under the gag and over your lips, trickling slowly down your chin to drip onto your chest. You heard Ben come back into the room, heading towards the speakers he’d set up and beginning to play the mix he’d created, music turned down low so it filled the background without distracting. Still you waited, trying to focus on keeping the tray of drinks balanced. Then suddenly, the buzzer, shocking you slightly and making your heart race. Ben answered, giving whoever it was access to the building and moments later you heard talking at the door, listening intently for who had arrived.   “Ben!”   “Lucy, looking lovely as always.” A pause, “Rami, great to see you buddy. Head on in, grab a drink and have a look. No touching yet though, we’ve got some rules to go through once everyone’s here.”    You heard footsteps, a pair of heels clicking over the floor and the duller noise of someone in flat shoes, getting closer. A girly giggle as two drinks were removed from your tray. You prayed it wasn’t going to change the balance and tip everything over. They were both quiet for a moment. You could feel their eyes on you, looking you up and down.   “You know I half thought Ben was joking,” Rami said quietly making Lucy laugh.   “Glad he wasn’t.” She said and you heard her heels again as she began walking around you slowly, taking in every inch of your helpless form, “She’s very pretty. Always thought Ben lucked out with her.”   “Alright, Luce, keep it in your pants,”   “Can’t help it. You know I can’t resist a helpless, restrained toy. And you have to admit she looks like she’ll be fun.”   “She definitely does. Almost can’t believe it’s Y/N. She always seemed so sweet and not one for this sort of thing.”   “Are you kidding? I knew she’d be into some kinky stuff the first time Ben introduced her to us.”   “What? No way,”   “Well okay, maybe not the instant I met her. You remember when we were at the restaurant with them, I went to the bathroom with her so I could chat to her, woman to woman, and I caught a glimpse of her wrist. There was a very clear mark that she was trying to hide, looked like it came from too tight handcuffs.”   You felt your cheeks grow warm at the memory. God, if you’d known then that Lucy had worked out what you and Ben had got up to that morning, you would have died from embarrassment. But now all it did was turn you on more, heat pooling in your stomach.   “God, see that?” Lucy suddenly exclaimed   “See what?”   “Right there, on the inside of her thigh,”   “Oh my god, you’re right, she’s dripping.”   The warmth of the oven spread through every room but you couldn’t suppress a shiver running down your spine as they both laughed, continuing to talk about you as if you weren’t there. You heard Ben walk back through the room as the buzzer rang a second time. The door opened and you said a silent thank you that Joe and Gwilym had arrived together, your arms already sore from holding them still for so long. Ben greeted them and told them the same thing he’d told Rami and Lucy – grab a drink, have a look, don’t touch. You were briefly forgotten as the two newcomers entered the room, everyone more focused on greeting each other until Joe asked where they’d got their champagne from.   “She’s got them.”   “Woah,”   “Right?”   “Is that really Y/N?”   “Go on, have a closer look. She’s absolutely loving this.”   “What d’you mean?”   “She’s wearing crotchless panties and you can see she’s completely soaked.”   “My god,”   Your tray lightened again as another two drinks were removed from it.   “Where’d Ben go?”  “He said something about giving us a chance to have a look around. I assume he meant her.”   “Hope he comes back soon, I’m itching to touch her.”   “Jeez Luce, didn’t realise you’d be so into it.”   “Well excuse me for getting into the spirit of it all.”  

They kept talking, the conversation a mix of catching up and comments about you. When Ben came back, his footsteps audible beneath the chatter, he was met by dozens of questions though he wouldn’t answer anything about you straight away. Eventually he took the last glass, leaving you to hold the empty tray despite the ache in your arms, and tapped it with his fingernail to get everyone’s attention.   “Sorry, don’t want to interrupt for too long” he said as everyone quieted down, “I just need your attention for a moment. There’s a few rules we need to cover before the fun can really start." He paused and you felt the energy of the room change, an electric current running through everyone as they focused on you and Ben.    “Firstly, just to be clear, this has all been set up with Y/N’s consent. Everyone has agreed to participate but of course you aren’t obligated to, and if anything that happens makes you uncomfortable, please talk to me about it.”   There was a brief murmur while Ben paused but once he started speaking again it stopped.   “Y/N and I can stop the scene at any time. Our safe word is red but obviously it may not be possible for Y/N to speak throughout the night so she also has a safe signal, three slaps against something. It could be the floor or a wall or her own thigh or whatever, but three slaps or the word red means everything stops instantly. There shouldn’t be any need for us to use them though, if everyone follows the rules, which are, one: you can touch or fuck Y/N just about however you want, as long as there is no anal play. You may have noticed she’s wearing a plug tonight but her arse is off limits to anyone who isn’t me.”   You whimpered softly behind the gag but Ben ignored you.   “Two: For the boys specifically I guess, you are not allowed to finish in her cunt, but down her throat or over any other part of her is fine. Three: We expect some bruises and marks, especially if you choose to use some of the toys provided,” he gestured towards the coffee table, “but please nothing that will leave permanent scars, no burns or blood. Four: Degrading names are fine but stick with things like slut and whore and bitch, nothing too personal. And finally, on a slightly different though no less serious note, five: no forehead kisses or anything that has a romantic connotation. That one is less for her sake than mine. Everyone understand?”   There was a chorus of yes’s in response before Ben spoke again.   “Good. We trust you, it’s why we were comfortable setting this up and inviting all of you, but my main concern is keeping this fun and safe for everyone, especially for Y/N.”   If it weren’t for the restraints and the desire to be good that had practically taken over your brain, you could have melted at the way he said your name. It carried the same weight as the words good girl or the ‘my’ in my slut. But before you had a chance to really appreciate it he’d moved on.   “I promise, this is the last thing I’m gonna say. Tonight this is not the Y/N you all know. This is a toy who happens to look like her. She is an object, a breathing blow up doll, here for your entertainment, for you to talk about or talk to or to use however entertains you most. Her pleasure is not the priority. Now have fun.”  

Everyone was still for a moment, not quite knowing how to start but then Lucy was coming towards you, the clacking of her heels almost ominous.   “Can we get rid of the tray now? Maybe the blindfold too?” She asked. The general chatter started up again behind her but you focused on Lucy’s voice.    “Sure thing,” Ben sounded more amused than anything, “You wanna leave her arms out or put them behind her back?” Ben took the tray and you let your arms drop, heavy with the strain of holding them up, a slight ache already in your shoulders.   “Restrained I think”   “Oi, Gwil, chuck us those handcuffs will you?” He called across the room before he turned back to Lucy, “I’ll give you the keys, Luce, let you decide how long she stays like that.”   “Ben, you’ve just made my day,”   They were both laughing as you felt your blindfold being tugged off and you blinked as your eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness.   “Much better,” Lucy teased, standing right in front of you, her voice low and pouty, “now we can see those pretty eyes.”   A familiar hand gripped your wrist, pulling it behind your back, followed quickly by the other one as Gwilym joined Ben behind you and handed over the cuffs, the fluffy black cover in place to make it easier on your wrists. Lucy dragged her hand down the side of your face, distracting you from the two boys behind you.   “Look at you, all dolled up for us. Don’t quite know where to start.” Her hand trailed lower, sliding along your jaw and down onto your neck. Your heart raced as the handcuffs clicked into place and Lucy opened her hand as if to choke you. Instead she lightly ran her thumb and fingers down the column of your throat, laying her hand flat once she reached your sternum. You jolted as Gwilym’s hands landed on your arse, grabbing you firmly and almost sending you toppling forward. Lucy continued to trail her hands down your body, squeezing your breasts and teasing your nipples through the thin fabric of your bra. You wanted to beg for more, for them to stop teasing you, but the gag prevented you. All you managed to do was let more saliva drip onto your chest.   “She’s got a nice arse, can see why you want to keep it to yourself,”   Ben laughed, “Can’t expect me to share everything mate.”    “Nice tits too,” Lucy said before she reared a hand back and brought it forward to slap one of them. You whined behind the gag, and Lucy’s face lit up.   “Let’s hear that again.” Her hand rose up into the air as Ben grabbed your arms, holding you still as she brought it down on your other breast. You whined again, partly because of the slap and partly because of the way Gwilym’s fingers were sliding along your cunt. Every noise you made only served to cover you in more of your own spit.   “You were right about how wet she is Lucy.”   “Why don’t you bend her over and fuck her,” Ben said as he let go of your arms, “that’s what she’s here for and I can promise her cunt is just as good as her arse.” He gave you a final tap on the hip as he walked off, winking at you from over Lucy’s shoulder before joining Joe and Rami in their conversation.  

The next thing you felt was Gwilym’s hand on your back pushing you to bend at the waist as he grabbed your bound arms where Ben had just let go. You looked up at Lucy as best you could, eyes wide at the sound of Gwilym’s zip being pulled down and the shuffle of his clothing. This was it. This was what you’d been secretly dreaming about for years, or close enough anyway. Lucy bent down slightly, bringing her face to your level as your hip was grasped hard by the man behind you.   “She’s gagging for it Gwil, drooling everywhere.”   That was the only encouragement Gwilym needed before he was sliding into you through the opening in your underwear, not giving you any time to adjust before he was fucking you hard and fast. The plug in your arse increased the fullness and tightness you felt and you squeezed your eyes shut as his hips snapped against you repeatedly. When you opened them Lucy was gone. Disappointment washed over you, compounded by the fact that Gwil was doing nothing to intentionally push you into an orgasm. His thrusts were forceful and made you whine around the gag but he wasn’t angled the right way to hit your g-spot and he refused to touch your clit.   “Slow down for a minute would you Gwil, wanna get that gag off her.” Lucy was back, pulling Rami along by the hand. Gwilym adjusted his pace, slowing enough for Lucy to remove the ballgag from your mouth, a long string of spit dripping from your lips as it was thrown to the side.    You gasped out, “thank you,” as Lucy ran her thumb over your chin, pushing the drool back up to your mouth.  “Liked it better when you couldn’t talk. Rami, sweetie, why don’t you put her mouth to good use.”  You whimpered as Rami released his cock and Lucy wrapped her hand around it, pumping a few times before she threaded her fingers through your hair to hold your head still.   “Good girl, keep that mouth open nice and wide for us,” she cooed as Rami eased himself inside.   He must have given Gwil some kind of signal that you’d missed, too focused on Lucy’s voice, because both of them began thrusting into you at the same time. This time Gwilym started slower, matching Rami’s pace as he worked himself down your throat, gradually speeding up again. Every noise you made in reaction to how Gwilym was fucking you was lost in a wet gag as your throat was used. Complete contrast to the slapping noises of Gwil’s hips against you and the grunts from both men. You knew they were both going to cum and that, at the rate you were going, you wouldn’t be just yet, and that only made you more desperate to touch yourself. It was very very rarely you’d been able to get off from penetration alone and though you tonight could potentially prove to be another of those times, it certainly wasn’t going to happen this quickly. Lucy must have sensed your need because she began to trail her fingertips down your back as she walked away from your head, eventually bringing her hand to your clit. You moaned as you finally felt some kind of relief, the sound muffled by the cock jammed down your throat.    “So needy,” Lucy commented to no one in particular, laughing as she removed her fingers and heard you whine. And then she was back in front of you, sucking on the fingers she’d touched you with as she watched more saliva drip off your chin.   “Oh, f-fuck,” you heard Gwilym grunt, his cock twitching as he slowed his hips and pulled out of you. You barely had time to register the sudden emptiness and increased desire before you felt him covering your lower back with his cum. He tapped your arse in appreciation and walked away. Lucy leaned in to whisper something in Rami’s ear and with another two thrust he was cumming too, making you swallow every drop before he fell from your lips and tucked himself away.   “Think I need a stiff drink after that,” he said as he headed off to find something, leaving you alone with Lucy.    You let out a breath as you stood up again, the ache between your legs stronger after Lucy’s much too brief touch.    “Think I could use a top up too actually,” Lucy said as she looked around, “I’ll be back in a minute and then we’ll find another use for your mouth.   You whimpered as Lucy walked away as well leaving you alone, unable to move properly, dripping and needy, back itchy where Gwilym’s cum had landed. You could see Lucy talking to Ben as he topped up her glass of champagne, Rami and Gwilym standing with them. Turning your head, you found Joe, standing at the table where you’d laid out the toys that you and Ben were open to people using on you. He picked up the leather paddle Ben liked to use when you needed a punishment, tapping it against his palm a few times. Your instinct was to squeeze your thighs together but the spreader bar prevented you. Instead you watched, holding your breath, as Lucy joined Joe. You could see them talking and laughing, Joe still tapping the paddle against his hand absentmindedly. And then they were both walking in your direction, still talking, Joe still holding that damn paddle. You swallowed hard.   

As soon as Lucy was in front of you, she wrapped her hand around your throat again, squeezing slightly as she took a sip of her drink.    “I checked with Ben, he said this was okay,” She brought her lips to yours. Your first thought was that they were softer than Ben’s. Your second was that she tasted like champagne and strawberry lip gloss. Your third was how much it hurt when she bit your lip and pulled it.    “Had to know,” she shrugged, looking at Joe.   “Hey, no complaints here,”   “D’you want to uncuff her, or should I?”   “I’ll do it, you keep making out,”   Lucy giggled as she handed over the keys.   “Uncuffing me?” you croaked; voice rough from a mixture of not talking and how your throat had been used.   “Only because I want your fingers. Gonna use them and that pretty mouth to get me off.”   You whimpered and heard a chuckle from behind you as your wrists were finally released.   “She hasn’t even heard what I’m gonna do to her yet,”   “I was gonna let that be a surprise Joe,”   You rolled your shoulders, stretching the stiffness from them, and confessed that you’d already seen the paddle. Lucy tutted as she undid the clasp of your bra, dropping it to the floor as she turned towards the couch and fell into it gracefully, “Might have to blindfold you again after this. Can’t have you ruining any more of our surprises.” She crooked her finger at you and you awkwardly followed her, the spreader bar inhibiting your movement so that each small step drew everyone’s eye. When you were close enough to grab onto the couch for support you eased yourself to your knees and shuffled as close as you could get. Lucy raised her dress slightly, hooking her leg over your shoulder. You could feel the heel of her shoe resting on your back as you were drawn towards her still clothed pussy, a large wet patch proof of how much fun she’d had so far. You hooked your finger into her underwear, pulling it to the side, just as Joe began to speak to the room at large. Lucy’s hand in your hair kept you focused on her, kitten licking along her lips, as Joe began to take bets on how many spanks you could handle before you begged to stop. You weren't sure who said which number, everyone’s voices bleeding into each other as they argued and defended their bets. The lowest you heard was a pitiful five, the highest you were sure came from Ben who put his money on twenty. After all, he knew he’d reached that with you before. You tried to keep your tongue on Lucy as the talk died down again and the nerves rose in your chest, everyone waiting for the first strike. The was a pause, almost silent, and then the paddle came down against your arse, splitting the air with a sharp slap followed by a chorus of voices counting the first strike. You let out a small hiss as you relaxed back into Lucy, drawing a gasp from her as you circled your tongue around her clit. You were a little more prepared for the second spank now that you had an idea of how Joe moved, how forceful his first one had been. It only made you jolt forward, your hitched breath covered by everyone calling out two! The spanks with the paddle came faster and harder as they progressed, making you gasp into Lucy’s cunt as you continued to lick along her folds, gradually adding your fingers one at a time. By the time they’d reached ten spanks you were fighting back tears, three fingers pumping in and out of Lucy, trying to distract yourself from the sting in your arse by listening to the moans and sighs falling from her lips every time you curled your fingers and lapped at her wetness. You could tell she was getting close, rhythmically clenching round your fingers, her heel digging into your back as you took yet another hit. You sucked Lucy’s clit into your mouth as you pressed your fingers in deep, curling them and making her moan. It didn’t take much more than that to have her cumming, though the way you whined as Joe spanked you again probably helped push her over the edge. You let her ride the orgasm out on your fingers, licking up her release until she pushed you away and let her leg drop from your shoulder. As soon as you were free you felt another spank, this one hard enough to push a sob from your throat and tears from your eyes. Everyone yelled out the number thirteen and you braced yourself for another.  

You finally broke, crying out to stop at number twenty-two. Mascara stung your eyes and left black lines down your cheeks in the wake of tears you couldn’t stop. As chatter filled the room once more, discussing your performance and claiming Ben shouldn’t win any money since he clearly knew how long you’d last, you heard footsteps approach. Ben’s hand was warm against the back of your head and for a moment you let yourself drop out of the scene, leaning your forehead against his leg and breathing deep to control your tears.    “Hey, that wasn’t too much was it?” Joe asked, eyes flicking between you and Ben.   “No, not at all. Y/N knew how much she could take and you stopped when she said so.”   “Okay, good. Just wanted to check. You seemed a little tense towards the end there.”   “Mate, you’re fine. Just not the easiest thing to watch my girlfriend in that position when I’m not the one controlling how hard or how often she gets hit.”   “Yeah, Joe, that was great,” you said, looking up at him through watery eyes, “Broke my record.”   “And won me fifty quid,”   “Good luck getting everyone to pay up,” he chuckled.   For the briefest of moments, it felt like the three of you were just hanging out, joking around over a beer down the pub, until Ben leaned down to ask if you were alright to continue.   “Yeah, I am,” you nodded, sitting back on your heels and hissing slightly as they came into contact with your red, stinging arse. Even the pain wasn’t enough to dull the ache between your legs.   “Then why don’t you be a good whore and give Joe a proper thank you,” he turned to leave, stopping long enough to tell Joe not to be afraid to be rough.   “Well come on, thank me. Haven’t got all night,” Joe towered over you as you hurried to unzip his pants, setting his cock free as you slid them down over his hips. You wrapped your hand around him, thankful to be able to use your hands, as you leaned in to drag your tongue over his tip, collecting the precum that had already begun to accumulate. Clearly he’d enjoyed spanking you. From the way he bucked his hips as you took him between your lips, running your tongue along the underside of his cock, you’d say he enjoyed it quite a lot. He let you set your own pace, bobbing your head as you took him deeper before pulling off him entirely, pumping your hand over his length. Your own need was too much to ignore and you trailed your free hand over your thigh, desperate for some sort of relief. You didn’t get very far though before Joe noticed.   “Didn’t say you could do that,” he says as he knocks your hand away with his foot.   “Please, Joe, need to cum so bad,”   “Things like you don’t need anything. You just want it. Maybe you can convince me though.” He pushed on the back of your head and you took the hint, taking him back into your mouth. He left his hand resting lightly on your head but you could feel the weight of it, aware of how easy it would be for him to hold you down and make you choke. It did nothing to alleviate your desire.   “That’s better,” he grunted as you hollowed your cheeks. You picked up the pace, the mere possibility of an orgasm spurring you on. He let out a string of muttered curses as you let him sink deeper, reaching up with your free hand to squeeze his balls lightly. You looked up at him when he grabbed a fistful of your hair, eyes meeting as he snapped his hips towards you, making you gag. When he brought his other hand to your hair you knew you weren’t in control anymore. All you could do was brace your hands on his thighs and try to relax your throat as he thrust into you again and again, heedless of your comfort, your breath, your choked moans. You knew he was getting close by the way he sped up, grunting as he held you down. And then he was out of your throat, covering your chest with his cum while you desperately sucked air into your lungs. You were still gasping when he pulled you back to your feet. He lazily trailed his fingers down your stomach, stopping right before he reached where you wanted him most.    “Joe, please,”   “No. Didn’t convince me. But maybe someone else will take pity on you.” He withdrew his hand, walking away.  

Once again you were going to take matters into your own hands when you were stopped, this time by Ben who was clearly keeping a close eye on you.  “Uh uh uh, that’s not allowed.” he said as he grabbed your wrist, pulling your hand away from your dripping cunt, “if you don’t play along properly we’ll have to stop the game, and then you definitely won’t get to cum.”   You whined as he pulled the black bandana from his pocket and tied it round your eyes again.   “Didn’t expect you to lose this so quickly, let’s see how long it lasts before Lucy takes it off again.”   You nodded, vision removed once more.   “Now, are you going to be good or should I tie your hands up again?”   “I’ll be good.”   “Good. Can’t have you misbehaving in front of everyone.” He gave your arse a swat, making you whimper, as he walked off, leaving you alone and unable to see. It didn’t last long, the being alone part at least. One of the guys, you couldn’t tell who, trailed his fingertips over your collarbone, raising goose bumps and making your breath quicken. He remained quiet, giving you no hint to his identity, as he moved up your neck, fingers coming to rest where it met your jaw. He tilted your head to the side as he leaned in to attach his lips to your skin. You could feel your pulse beating hard under his tongue, a moan dropping from your lips as he kissed his way down your throat. He sunk his teeth into your shoulder before he left chuckling at the way you’d cried out. About a minute passed and then another set of hands were on you, rougher than the last. He, whoever he was, grabbed your wrist pulling your hand out so he could spit into your palm before wrapping your fingers around his cock.   

This was exactly how your fantasies normally went – just you and a series of anonymous people using your body however they wanted, rutting into your hand, squeezing your throat as they pinched and pulled your tits, bending you over so they could shove their cock into your mouth or examine the bruises forming on your arse. You could hear snatches of conversations as you were pulled around by numerous hands, never quite sure who was touching you at any given time. On your left you could hear Joe telling someone about the road trip he went on with some friends last month. The juxtaposition of such a casual conversation while you were being fingered to within an inch of your life made your head spin. It was the third time you’d heard the story during the night. Right before he got to the part about almost being left in a truckstop bathroom you heard the familiar click of Lucy’s heels. She was the only one you were certain of when she came close. Well, her and Ben – you had no trouble picking his footsteps or scent from everyone else’s. Perhaps you could have worked out the others except that thinking was becoming harder to do. Your body was covered in splatters of cum at various stages of drying, making you itch, your arse smarted, and you felt like if you didn’t cum soon you were going to combust. You’d been close more times than you could count but never quite got there before those who were fucking you pulled out and left you with their cum straining your underwear or dripping from your lips. You moaned as the fingers still pumping into you sped up.   “C’mon Gwil, be nice and let her cum, she looks desperate,”   So that was who was tormenting you at the moment, Gwilym was the reason you’d been saying nothing but the word please for the last three minutes.   “Think you mean pathetic,” he made no move to alter his pattern  “Well if you wont, I will,” her fingers drifted down towards your clit, circling you slowly as Gwilym continued finger fucking you. It only took a few seconds for her to have you moaning out your release, coating both their hands in your juices as you rode the orgasm for as long as they let you.   “Thank you,” you said breathlessly as both of them removed their hands from you.   Gwilym tapped his fingers against your lips until you let him push them into your mouth. Leaning into your ear he softly said, “I’m going to fuck you again before the night’s done. Properly.” You heard him retreat but then Lucy was grabbing your hand, placing it between her own legs.   “Fair’s fair.”   She was wet, her cunt welcoming you with a squeeze as you let two fingers slide into her. You began to build a steady pace, searching for that spot that would make her knees buckle. She threw her arms over your shoulders for support as you added a third finger, her nails digging into you as you let your thumb land on her clit. Her moans were muffled by your neck as you pushed her closer to her release, curling your fingers and stroking until she came on shaking legs.   “I’m going to have to ask Ben if I can borrow you for a night. Chain you to my bed and play with every inch of you until I can’t cum anymore.”   You lost track of how long you’d stood there, being repositioned over and over. Sometimes you had less than a second before one cock was replaced by another, sometimes you were left alone for what felt like hours, listening for any hint of someone approaching but only hearing the conversations happening around you.   

When Ben announced that dinner was ready everyone moved toward the table, replacing chairs they’d moved around during the night, a couple of people giving you a last squeeze or slap as they passed. Ben knelt down to release your feet and you almost collapsed against him as he led you towards your designated seat. It was one of the chairs taken from the table everyone sat at, pulled off to the side so you were still within view without being the center of attention. He pulled your arms behind the chair, securing you in place with the handcuffs so you couldn’t move. You could smell the roast Ben had spent the afternoon preparing, along with all the accompanying sides that you’d helped him make.    “Is Y/N not eating with us then?” Lucy asked.   “Toys don’t need to eat,”   “She’s probably full anyway,” Joe said matter-of-factly, “y’know, from how much she’s swallowed tonight.”   There were snorts of laughter amongst the tinkling sounds of cutlery and glasses, followed by the melodic buzz of talking, sometimes discussions that involved the whole table, sometimes just kept between two or three people. Occasionally you heard your name mentioned making you jump and focus on the conversation. More often than not it was Ben mentioning you in passing as he talked about the day trip you’d taken to the beach last week or something else equally mundane. But the few less innocent comments you heard made you squirm. Hearing Rami describe how incredible your tits were was enough to have you whimpering, and hearing Gwil talk about how hot you sounded when you came had you clenching your thighs together in your chair.   “Fuck, look at her now,” Joe said, accompanied by the sound of someone shifting their chair for a better look, followed by a louder, “you alright?” directed towards you.    You whined, knowing you sounded completely desperate but beyond caring, as you tried to get some sort of relief.   “Needy whore,”   “Wants to be fucked some more,” said with an accompanying laugh.   “Someone should do it. Dinner and a show.”   “Nah, let her squirm a bit longer,”   “If you boys are quite done, I think I have an idea,”    “She’s all yours,”   You whimpered as Lucy pushed her chair back, listening as the sound of her shoes went past you and then returned a few seconds later.    You got a whiff of her perfume, floral and sweet, as she leaned down, hands resting on your thighs. You could feel something pressed between her palm and your leg but couldn’t work out what it was, not with her talking to you so softly, her breath tickling your ear and sending a shiver through you.    “You wanna cum again, don’t you? Poor thing.”   All you could do was nod, whimpering out a soft, “please.”   You were already trembling as she knelt between your legs, caressing your thighs softly before she hooked her fingers into the band of your thong and slid it off you. She lifted one of your legs onto her shoulder so she could push the unknown object into you before she let your leg drop back down and stood up again. You were panting, unsure why she’d teased you so, as she took her seat again.   “What’d you do, Luce? Nothing happened,” Rami barely finished speaking when you felt the egg vibrator come to life and a small oh slipped out of your mouth. The vibration increased sending you hurtling towards the orgasm you so badly wanted. You clenched your legs together as you moaned through your release, Lucy reducing the power of the vibrator as you came down. You had maybe five seconds to compose yourself before it was being turned back up again, pulling a string of moaned expletives from you as you fell into another orgasm much more quickly than you ever had before.    “There’s your show,” Lucy laughed over your whines as your sensitivity grew.   “Pass me the controller for a minute,” Joe said, “how do you use it?”   “Just spin that wheel, up makes it vibrate more,”   “Like this?”   You jerked in your chair as it got stronger, whimpering when he turned it down again.   “Oh, easy. Think I’m a little scared of you now Luce.”   There was laughter as you tipped over the edge again.   

They didn’t let up until they’d had their fill, finishing their dinner to the sound of your heavy panting and moaned requests to stop as you unsuccessfully tried to squirm away from the constant vibrations. The controller was passed from person to person, each one changing the settings according to their own whim. For a while you were left with a low-level buzzing as the controls sat by Gwil’s plate, untouched, giving you as much respite as you could hope for under the circumstances. But then it was back in the hands of Joe who delighted in making you scream as he turned it up high. By the time everyone had eaten their last bite and complimented the meal, the controls were in Ben’s hands. If you’d hoped for leniency, for a kind word of praise as he set you free, you’d hoped wrong. Ben did halt the vibrator, turning it off as he walked towards you and removed your blindfold again, but he also twisted his hand through your hair so he could tug your head up, forcing you to look at the table. Four pairs of eyes were fixed on you as Ben spun the controls to the highest possible setting, watching as your hips bucked and your back arched as much as your bound position would allow you. You couldn’t even scream as you came again, your voice catching in your throat as all the air was pushed from your lungs at once. When he was satisfied with your performance, Ben turned it off and reached between your legs to pull the egg from you, pocketing it as he began collecting dirty dishes with the help of an insistent Lucy, leaving you twitching in the chair. You closed your eyes for a second in an attempt to settle your pounding heart, opening them to find Rami standing in front of you.   “I know you lost count of how many orgasms you just had,” he said softly as he kneeled between your legs, “but I’m going to take another one from you.” He pushed your legs wider, probing at your entrance with two fingers as he rubbed your clit with his other hand. You didn’t think you could cum again but his unhurried movements built you up despite how sensitive you felt. He watched your every reaction as he changed the angle of his fingers until he found your gspot. You shook as you tipped over the edge again, unable to resist his steady strokes.   “Good girl, knew you had another one for me.” he said as he wiped his hands on his pants. 

“What do you think Rami?” Joe asked as he and Gwilym approached.  “What do I think about what?”   “Best way to play with a girl’s nipples,”   “Oh, I guess, like this,” Rami reached out with one hand, pinching your nipple and rolling it between his fingers before tugging it away from your body, making you loudly whine.   “Is that really your favourite way?”   “It’s a classic. Simple. Easy to control. You can add a twist,” he twisted your nipple until you tried to jerk away, “for a little extra pain if she’s into that.”   Joe scoffed, “You cannot beat sucking on a nipple. It’s clearly the best way,” he lowered his head to your chest, his breath fanning out over your sensitive nipple as he moved closer. He took it into his mouth, tracing his tongue around it and sucking gently. Your eyes fluttered closed, releasing a soft moan at how good it felt until he suddenly clamped his teeth down, making you wince.   “See? Nothing beats a little bit of tongue and teeth. Well okay Gwil, since you clearly disagree, you wanna demonstrate for the class?”   “I don’t necessarily disagree. It just depends on what you want to achieve.”   Joe raised his eyebrows and waved his hand, inviting Gwilym to go on.   “Well if you want her to moan then yeah, either of your methods is great. But if you’re looking for something a little more painful, maybe more of a punishment, you can’t beat the flick.” Without any warning he dropped his hand towards your other nipple, flicking it quickly, making you jolt.   “It’s especially good if you surprise them with it after you’ve been fairly gentle. And the more you do it, the more it hurts.”   “Show me again?”   Gwilym repeated his flicking motion on both your nipples at once, and then again, each one sending a shock of pain through your chest. You whimpered as his fingers were replaced by Rami’s on one nipple and Joe’s on the others, both testing the flick for themselves.   “Okay, that’s pretty good.”   “I’ll expect your cheques in the mail soon,”   “Wonder what Ben thinks,” Joe said, heading off to find out, followed by Rami. Gwilym stayed behind.   “What say we get you out of those cuffs now?” Gwil said as he picked up the keys from where Ben had left them near you. You nodded, expecting there to be a catch, but he leant down behind you and unlocked your restraints without another word. You brought your arms to your front, rolling your wrists, but didn’t have time for anything else before he was dragging you from the chair to the table and pushing you down over it.   “Told you I was gonna fuck you again.”   Your nails scratched over the smooth surface of the table, looking for something to cling on to as he bottomed out. The best you could manage was to grasp the side of the table, knuckles turning white and plea for him not to stop, as he fucked you. You clenched around him, reaching your peak and falling into an underwhelming orgasm right as he pulled out of you. Before you could stand up again he was pulling you backwards and pushing you to your knees.   “Mouth,” he grunted and you had a few seconds to register the way Gwilym was pumping his fist over his cock before he was coating your lips and chin. You had just enough time to swallow what you could lick up before Rami pushed his cock between your lips. It took you by surprise, not having realised the others had returned but you tried to stay relaxed as he thrust into your mouth a couple of times before Joe replaced him. Your hands flew up to grasp their shafts as you alternated between them, sucking one as you jerked the other. Suddenly your hair was being tugged on as Lucy spun your head towards her. She used her free hand to remove her underwear and you obediently leaned in to suck her clit, still jerking Joe and Rami. Lucy pushed you closer to her, your nose nudging her clit as your tongue wandered lower, pulling a few softly spoken expletives from her. You felt like you’d just found the perfect rhythm to please the three of them when you were grabbed under your arms and pulled away. You were dropped on your feet in front of Ben, who sat on the couch. He spun you round and you squealed as he swatted your still sore arse but you bent over for him all the same, trying to relax as he carefully removed the plug he’d wiggled into you that morning. The lube was cold as he squirted a generous amount onto you, using his fingers to make sure you were ready before he pulled you backwards, spreading your cheeks as you slowly sunk down onto him.    “Breath,” he said into your ear and you realised you’d been holding your breath, “You good?”   “Mmhmm,” you tilted your head back, eyes closed as the stretch settled into a deep fullness. Ben leaned into the back of the couch, almost lying down, and you felt your legs being spread. You barely had time to react to Rami plowing into your cunt, the moan getting caught in your throat as Joe filled your mouth with his cock. Somewhere to your left you could hear Gwilym and Lucy laughing about you being sealed airtight but the joke barely registered in your brain, much too concerned with how incredibly full you were. Joe timed his thrusts to match Rami’s, the force making you rock on Ben’s cock even as he stayed relatively still. Your eyes fluttered shut, stray tears clinging to your eyelashes as you tried not to let the mix of sensations overwhelm you. You felt the couch dip a little as Lucy knelt beside you, grabbing your hand and placing your fingers at her entrance. She rocked against your hand, chasing the release she’d been close to getting from your tongue. Gwil grabbed your other hand, wrapping it around his cock, but you hardly noticed his rutting as Ben suddenly thrust up into you. Your whole body felt hot, a fire spreading through you as you were fucked from every angle, a fuzz settling in your brain as the pleasure took over. You shook as an orgasm rolled through you, Rami pulling out of you and jerking himself off onto your tits. As soon as Rami stepped back Joe took his place, pushing deep into you as Lucy brought your head to her chest. She arched her back into you as you sucked a nipple into your mouth. Joe and Ben were so in sync as they thrust in and out of you, filling you more completely than you’d ever felt before.   “Fuck,” Joe grunted as he pulled out of you, cumming over your stomach. You whined as Lucy pushed three fingers into your overly sensitive cunt, your head being pulled away from her breasts so Gwil could fuck your throat. Your own choked moans echoed in your ears as your whole body buzzed and your vision slipped in and out of focus. You felt like you were floating between them, unable to find anything real to cling on to or ground you. You were vaguely aware of Lucy’s rapidly increasing ohs as she rubbed her clit and reached her own release on your hand. She continued to pump her fingers into you, curling them until you were seeing stars. The moan you made around Gwil’s cock had him cursing as he filled your mouth with his cum, watching it drip over your lips as he pulled out. You hastily sucked in a breath of air, it going some way to making you feel less lightheaded, but the breath was quickly pushed from your lungs again as Ben grasped your hips and began to slam you down on his cock repeatedly. It didn’t take him long to reach his own climax, pulling out as he released his load so that it dripped down between your legs.   

You still felt floaty and dizzy as Ben picked you up and lay you down on the couch with a pillow under you head.   “She’s done guys,” he said to the rest of the group, nodding his head to the table as an invitation to join him. Everyone stayed a little while longer, sitting around and talking over coffee and cake like it was a regular dinner party, like they hadn’t just collectively fucked you into a different realm. You stayed curled up on the couch, dozing on and off as you gradually got the buzzing in your body to stop. Your dazed state stretched on as everyone left, snatches of goodbyes floating to you from the doorway. When you thought back a week later you could distinctly remember hearing Gwilym say he’d love to do that again if you were ever going to repeat the experience. Once the door was shut and the music stopped, Ben knelt down by your head, brushing your hair away from your face.   “Y/N?” He said softly. You blinked your eyes open and smiled up at him.   “That was fun,” you felt groggy and tired but you laughed as Ben pulled you into a tight bear hug, “You shouldn’t hug me Ben, I’m covered in cum and smudged makeup and lube and whatever else, gonna ruin your clothes.”   “Clothes shmothes. As if I’m not gonna hug you after that. You were fucking incredible.”   You buried your face in his neck, breathing deeply.   “How do you feel?”   “Like I need a shower.”   “How about a bath?”   “Even better.”   Ben kissed the top of your head before he let you go, wrapping his arm around your waist as he led you to the bathroom. You picked up a facecloth as Ben ran the bath, using it to clean the mascara tear tracks and smudged lipstick from your cheeks and chin.    “Let me help,” Ben said softly, dropping to his knees and unhooking your stockings from the garter belt, sliding both down your legs and throwing them into the laundry hamper. You ruffled his hair in gratitude, the tiredness you felt only getting more pronounced as the seconds slipped by.   The tub wasn’t full but you needed to sit down, carefully stepping over the edge and easing yourself into the hot water. Ben quickly shed his own clothes, adding them to the hamper, and climbed in behind you. You stayed sitting just long enough to turn the water off before the tub overflowed, and then leaned back against Ben.   “How do you feel?” he asked again as he picked up your soap and washcloth, “now that you’re in a bath I mean.”   “Tired and a little sore. And kinda feel like crying but I’m not sure why.”   He ran the washcloth along your shoulder and down your arm, beginning to scrub your skin clean.   “Well I’ve booked you in for a massage tomorrow afternoon, so that should help with the sore. As for the tired, I am gonna make you stay awake a little longer, but you can relax while I take care of you and you can sleep in tomorrow.”   “And the random crying?”   “Just your brain rebalancing. It was flooded with a bunch of endorphins and different emotions. Cry as much as you need to, it’s cathartic and it’ll make you feel better.”   You nodded, tilting your head back to look at him, “did you have a good time?”   “Absolutely. That was so unbelievably hot. Definitely gonna keep me going next time I’m away,”   You both laughed softly as he gently pushed you forward so he could wash your back. He pushed your hair out of the way and traced his finger over a mark on your shoulder.   “You got a few souvenirs from tonight,”   “Is that the bitemark?”   “Yeah. Do you know who left it?”   “Not really. At the time I thought it might be Rami but I’m not sure. What else have I got?”   “Couple red spots where people slapped you. Quite a few scratches.”   “Lucy,” you both said at the same time with a chuckle.   Ben kept talking to you as he shampooed and conditioned your hair and while he wrapped you in a big fluffy towel. He kissed you on the forehead again and told you to go hop into bed, that he’d be with you in a moment.   “And don’t go to sleep yet either. I’ll be quick.”   You did as he asked, having just enough energy to slip into one of his tee shirts and a fresh pair of undies before hopping under the covers. You snuggled down deep, closing your eyes as your head landed on the pillow, ignoring Ben’s request to stay awake. But, try as you might, sleep wouldn’t come. Your body was too amped up, still kind of horny despite everything, leaving you simultaneously dead tired and wide awake. Sitting up again you reached for your laptop, figuring you might as well watch some Netflix or something. And then the tears started, virtually out of nowhere. When Ben came back, in fresh pyjamas straight from the clean washing yet to be put away, he found you hunched over, clutching your knees to your chest and crying uncontrollably. He placed the items he was carrying down on his bedside table before he joined you in bed, wrapping his arms around your shoulders as you leaned into his chest. He rubbed your back and mumbled soft words of praise until you managed to stop.   “Sorry,” you said as you wiped at your eyes, “it just hit me,”   “Nothing to apologise for babe, I told you to let it out. Do you feel better?”   “A bit, yeah,”   “Here, brought you something,” he handed you a glass of water and a plate of food, everything from the dinner you’d been unable to eat, put aside especially for you, “wanted to make sure you ate something and drank some water before you slept,”   You nodded already biting into a warm potato.   “What d’you want to watch?”   “Don’t care, as long as I don’t have to think.”   He picked an episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine at random. You’d both seen it before so it wouldn’t matter if you fell asleep while it played but it was funny enough to keep you entertained as your brain and body relaxed. After you’d finished eating Ben offered you a row from a block of chocolate claiming it’d help your body balance itself and feel more normal. You didn’t know if that was true but you ate it regardless. Finally he was ready to let you settle down. He got up to turn the light off as you packed away the laptop and once again snuggled down under the covers. You hissed slightly as he slid in behind you, coming into contact with your bum.   “Shit, I’m sorry babe, should have got a cold compress on that earlier,”   “‘s alright. Do it tomorrow, it’ll be fine.” your eyes were much too heavy to be worried about how you’d bruise. Ben agreed, pulling you against his chest carefully.   “I love you Y/N, so much,” he said softly as he leaned his head against your neck.   You were already asleep.  

[dxmagedrose]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER!

Tagged by: my lover @hammurabicomplex​ I’m tagging: anyone and everyone who wants to pick this one up! share with the class if you feel like it! tag me in it!!

PRESENTING. RANDOM DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO-MUN AT 2AM ;

FIRST NAME Good fucking question… It’s (sort-of) currently Dylann! I was Kieran before that, though; it’s still used as one of my first names and I’m not used to Dylann quite yet bc I’ve just started using it. 

Indigo is one of my middle names though, and I’ve used it as an online handle elsewhere forever so I use it here now!  [ Fun etymology facts: Dylan(n) is a mythology name generally meaning “born of the wave” (aspiring diver & a water witch at heart). Kieran means “little dark one” bc of my love for horror, && I chose Indigo bc as a kid to be it was neither boy (blue) or purple (girl) and was both and neither as well as my absolute favorite color as this vibrant ass mystical color. ]

STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF hmmmmm…. I’m a horror lover at heart, so as a child (I wanna say 12), I was walking through an antique store (I have a few cool finds, I considered putting my other one as the fact tbh) and I turned the corner and I saw these two dolls staring back at me at the foot of the stairs of this antique building. my blood froze, and i felt my stomach drop. i got actual, physical goosebumps stumbling across these two creepy dolls staring back at me in the corner, and i couldn’t leave the store without them. perhaps the little painted porcelain boy would be somewhat spooky by himself if it wasn’t for the terrifying lidded gaze of the porcelain girl with the hairline fractures and slightly open lips. i cant look at her. i dont really find dolls scary, I like to find the spookier ones ones, and she makes me paranoid as hell. i keep her face covered and her up in my closet except for when i bring her out to show her off proudly as the spookiest thing I have but……. i dont really collect dolls anymore.  even thinking about her brings a fearful tear to my eye.  i don’t like to think about her for very long, but that’s why I’m so fucking proud to own her. ( YES — I’m THAT white person in the horror film )

TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON hhhhh a beardy jawline, high cheekbones, crooked canine teeth >:3c

A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF b.l.t.’s with avocado. ahhhh. my mouth is watering just thinking about it, oh my god. just a bit of salt and pepper???

A FOOD YOU HATE barbecue anything, i hate the taste of bbq sauce, you keep your nasty black goo to yourselves at the grill. twice in my life i have presented with barbecue pizza and both times i cried literal tears. why would you do such a horrible thing to a person? what kind of a monster are you? how do you sleep at night?!

GUILTY PLEASURE the sims. constantly. always. i’ve sunk thousands of hours into my households. oh also uhhhhhh i run two 80s horror blogs, one being a shitpost blog with occasional art of mine and one gremlin fanfic ship blog for horrible, terrible self indulgent fanfics i’ll get the courage to finish writing & post so i can be cancelled on tumblr for at some point. NO, i won’t link them. as i pretend they’re even all that hard to find, within a day i was found on both by someone i admire here a lot :’) ilu bby thnk u eternally for supporting ur local horrifying dumbass wtf

WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN the same clothes i’ve been wearing all day usually, my sweats & long sleeve raglans or my hoodies. i like being cozy day & and out. and ugh. efoort. just throw me in a blanket in a cool room and im out.

SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS serious relationships with some openness or poly. i wish i could fling! just not exactly easy for demisexual autistics lmao.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE I think I would be adopted by my grandma as a kid. It would save me some trauma but mostly I think it would get my autism diagnosed way earlier and save me angsting all these years of wondering why & thinking it’s my fault I’m struggling so much and so loud and affectionate and different in a world that i didnt fit in the same way. 

ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON when i get drunk i text people how much they mean to me in my life. does that answer your question? ahhh. i’m sometimes a cuddle monster with friends, i message people with long texts about how much they mean to me, but I sometimes really don’t like to be touched at all. 

A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN FLYPAPER.  F L Y P A P E R.  FLYPAPER.  FLY, and, I can’t stress this enough, fucking PAPER. ( Though also Whole Nine Yards and both Re-Animator & Bride ). I have watched Flypaper already like, 5 times this week and I’m still not done, and the other movies have been on repeat for days in this household within the last year. In the past it has also been Donnie Darko & the new Nightmare on Elm Street.  roast me.

FAVORITE BOOK White Fang by Jack London. Have I actually ever finished it? No. Do I still own a copy I’ve had since childhood thru multiple dogs eating it, taking it to and from school, and highlighting and circling all the best parts of chapter one ever since I was a kid and it was too hard of a book for me to read? You bet your ass. If I ever need inspiration I just reread chapter 1. Although one of my other favorites was Broken Monsters by Lauren Beukes. But White Fang is like, a weirdly personal text. We stan London’s writing in this household.

YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE FENNEC FOX!! I used to daydream about having my own named Shiloh when I was a lil kid. they’re adorable little things and i am obsessed. i mean, gimme any fox and im happy, marble foxes, red foxes… but I was obsessed with fennec foxes. Also tbh ferrets. I want a ferret.

TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL] Rosa & @ninetyscnds‘s Luke, Rosa & @iimpulsivity is already screaming my name, Rosa & Constantine, Jesse & Andrea from Breaking Bad, and the joker and harley of 80s sci-fi Dan & Herbert from Re-Ani.  I am but a simple opossum. 

PIE OR CAKE Pie! I’ll take both pumpkin & melty apple over cake. also, cheesecake is more pie than cake soooo, pie wins.

FAVORITE SCENT my dogs / my blanket. :’)  It’s the most grounding smell in the world. 

CELEBRITY CRUSH oliver jackson-cohen, i’m fucking GAY and im angry about it. there i was, minding my own business, and i saw that asshole in a certain SHIRTLESS GIF and it AWOKE SOMETHING IN ME. dont talk to me about it, holy shit im obsessed with beardy men now god fuckkdafjaask i hate him why did he make me this gay i was perfectly fine being into girls but NOOOOOO him and his dumb hairy chest and sweet rugged face and I——  I also am obsessed with the archaeologist & television personality Josh Gates and may or may not be considering making a fan blog for him bc idk if my anthropology docuseries host is Dad or Daddy but i love him lots

IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO I would go on a dive with anthropologists and archaeologists doing fieldwork research in the ancient cenotes of the Yucatán Peninsula. My actual dream job, catch me crying & fantasizing about being underwater documenting Mayan skulls given as offerings. Fuckkkk, I love anthropology so much!!  take me anywhere in the world to immerse myself into culture & archaeology.

INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT Introvert. I have a real life friend I see roughly once a month, and that’s it. Plenty of online relationships, I’m chatty, message me all day every day. but i dont do people well.

DO YOU SCARE EASILY I used to! Really bad. I don’t as much anymore. I do get paranoia a lot still. Having therapists telling you that the FBI could be outside your house watching you through your windows will kind of nervous. ( no google results for: yes hello fbi i am a writer please dont put me on watchlists i just have research i need to do for this idea im working on, would you like to try again? ) I have nightmares nightly but not they never make me afraid, they just make me feel like crap. jumpscares and loud noises and seeing people reaching into their pockets dont set off as many brain alarms anymore tho!! progress haha.

IPHONE OR ANDROID I like my android better bc of capabilities but meh

DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES My mom, her husband & I play COD for family game night, and Silent Hill is my life’s blood. I’ve sunken hours into Sims & Skyrim, and Norman Jayden from Heavy Rain is my #1 fictional character in existence, why do i love the druggie babies

DREAM JOB Oh… You’re asking me to pick? I’d love to be an anthropologist doing work out in the field. Underwater archaeology is peak, but I’m also heavily considering being a body recovery diver or police diver. I’d love to see myself in uniform someday, if possible. Just the thought makes me teary eyed & proud.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS fund my person creative & educational endeavors. get myself a spooky ass abandoned house to make my own home to create in, and travel to the world’s best dive sites. just live a mild life of education, creation & exploration. that’s the dream TM.

FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE dr. hill is a gross and whiny lil bitch this post brought to u by the miskatonic crew, how is everyone here an even worse bad guy than herbert west precious dan excluded talk shit get hit tho john winchester from spn and both walter white & todd from breaking bad are all in my crew of hated characters. i jusT…   the reani novel is difficult to read because i have to deal with this old sack of shit.

FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER Supernatural :-)

… AND THIS CONCLUDES A DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO!! //

[sybvrites]

hi angels! im bee, 20, a general mess... u get the picture. this is hugo and he’s... idk what he is but he’s my baby :))) this is really long so you the best if you read it in full && as always my discord is the uk's weird farmer cousin#1697 if y’all want speedy replies for plotting !

tw: death & drug use.

( xavier serrano, cismale, he/him, twenty-two ) — have you seen hugo talbot, the history and politics student around oxford yet ? i hear they can be acerbic and meticulous, but those who know them insist they’re reminded of driving too fast on an empty road, the whipping wind in a thunderstorm, cashmere turtlenecks & worn poetry books when they’re around. rumour has it that his parents died during the execution of an insurance scam. is it true ? only time will tell…

FULL NAME: hugo byron talbot DATE OF BIRTH: november 3rd, 1996 PARENTS: gregory talbot & marianne cunard-talbot  NATIONALITY: english  IMPORTANT LINKS: statistics & pinterest.

BACKSTORY

hugo was born on november 3rd, ironically the same day as his mother’s birthday, born twenty-six years apart. marianne cunard-talbot was, to put it bluntly, not the motherly type. her own mother left her and her father when she was one, and since kenneth cunard had no other possible heir to the family business ( and fortune, mind ) the proverbial crown was laid on her brow. with no mother figure in her life, it seemed the capabilities escaped her, as they escaped her husband too. gregory talbot, as a second son to a wealthy family, had little to inherit but a mind for business. when they met at cambridge, both studying literature, in the eighties it wasn’t a match made in heaven, it wasn’t love at first sight, but they made a good team — it was enough.  two more children followed after hugo, and while they lacked a significant amount of guidance from their own parents ( or any sort of guidance at all, really ), they made do with themselves. while hugo and his siblings stayed in london, his parents continued to live in southampton where the headquarters for cunard corporation was, and let the nannies that they’d hired handle the raising of their kids. the lack of supervision and general parenting only served to create an air of entitlement around hugo. he knew from a young age that he was going to be an important man when he grew up, that he would be a powerful man. it was only enforced by the fact that when marianne and gregory would visit it was mainly to nitpick at their children, enquire after their grades and ensure that nobody was stepping out of line.  at thirteen hugo had to leave his siblings behind to attend eton. despite the fact he would return every weekend he still felt the separation from his siblings keenly, they had after all barely been apart for their whole lives. on his first day at eton, he tripped over someone else’s suitcase as he exited his car, and when he turned to angrily confront the owner of the case, he came face to face with thomas. they became fast friends despite the fact that hugo couldn’t help but remember, and wish to rebel against, his parents wish for him to befriend the heir to the throne. the tom he knew wasn’t the crown prince, but rather the boy who had never been allowed his own freedom, a boy who was only just beginning to discover who he was without his parents telling him who he had to be.  by the time hugo was sixteen, and tom seventeen, both had begun to dabble in illicit substances. their reasons were different of course, but it wasn’t as if they necessarily needed reasons to get high and pretend they weren’t going to have the weight of the world on their respective shoulders in ten years. but while hugo usually kept sober unless there was a party, tom seemed to want to spend his time being perpetually high. it was easy to ignore it, his best mate seemed happier after he’d done a few lines, but he also seemed flirtier. tom had come out almost immediately after they’d met, and it was like all the weight had lifted off of his shoulders, sharing his secret with another person seemed to help him immensely. hugo couldn’t say when he began to realise that tom had a crush on him, maybe it was from the very moment they’d met, but throughout the years it started to become abundantly clear. at a friend’s twenty-first birthday party he still felt completely blindsided when tom got high and wasted, and then tried to convince hugo to sleep with him. 

he was eighteen when his parents passed away, it was strange to him because despite their lack of presence it always felt like they were hovering nearby, just waiting for him to mess up, or for his brother or sister to, so they could blame him. it was an accident they said, something went wrong on one of the ships and unfortunately, it took his parents with him when it sunk. his grandfather pulled him aside at the funeral to tell him what happened, he claimed it was hugo's right now, considering once he left university, it was all his. he told hugo about how the cunard fleet was losing more money that it was making, how there was a plan to sink the least valuable to bring in more money, to supplement the loss of money. he told hugo how the plan went awry and the ship didn't sink when it was meant to on its return from australia, and when they went to inspect the ship and why it didn't go down, it sank with them on it. the money was still going to be beneficial to the company, and now the insurance company would be hard pressed to believe that the ship was tampered with, considering who was aboard. the secret had to be kept, he was going to have to keep it for his whole life if he valued his handle on the company and their resulting wealth. it was hard, losing his parents and being burdened with such a secret. his only solace was tom, who didn't know what it was to lose family, but understood what it was like to feel so disconnected.

he would never admit it to his best friend, hell, he’d never admit it out loud, period, but while his mate had been harbouring feelings for him, hugo had a crush of his own. tom’s sister eleanor was quiet around him, he wasn’t sure they’d ever really had a proper conversation and yet every time he caught sight of her when he’d visit tom his heart would kick up and his palms would sweat. it all came to a head when, at tom’s cousin’s twenty-first birthday, he rescued nora from a handsy party-goer and began seeing her in secret, namely so tom wouldn’t find out. their relationship was easy enough to hide, he would stay with tom and sneak off to eleanor’s room once he’d passed out, she would arrive at his door with a hermès scarf to shield her face and hair from those who might recognise her. by the time it had become abundantly clear to the both of them that it was a completely serious relationship and decided that it was time to go public and share their news with tom, and scheduled a press conference ( because an instagram debut was awfully uncouth ), they’d been together for almost a year and a half. 

with the press conference scheduled for the monday after their respective birthdays, and having resolved to sit down to dinner on sunday with eleanor’s family to tell them the truth, both hugo and eleanor went into the weekend confident and happy. tragedy was never far away though, it always seemed to loom on the horizon. after a wild saturday night, tom and hugo found themselves back at buckingham palace, hugo drunk and tom exceptionally high. a quick slip of the tongue ( “ god i’m going to regret this in the morning, nora’s going to kick my ass if i go back to her in this state. ” ), had him thinking he’d ruined everything before nora could present her arguments to her family. instead, tom gave his blessing and sent hugo off to his sister to enjoy the rest of his birthday. he’d thought it was the best weekend of his life, he went home to get ready for dinner and was interrupted by his phone ringing — it was the phone call that he felt turning his life upside down. his girlfriend told him how the maid came to wake him, he was late for breakfast, she shook him and he didn’t wake up. a heart attack, nora told him. the press conference planned for them was used to announce his best friend’s death, the best weekend of his life so quickly turned into the worst.

CURRENTLY

hugo is still trying to work through losing tom, he’s not about to admit to anyone that losing someone who he’d just assumed would be there for… well, forever, was taken so quickly. it also impeded the announcement for his and eleanor’s relationship and forced them back into the dark when they’d been preparing to be able to not sneak around, and now they’re back to where they were before. 

PERSONALITY

POSITIVE TRAITS: astute, meticulous, loyal NEGATIVE TRAITS: acerbic, calculating, imperious  hugo is, above all else, extremely sharp. when it comes to people it usually takes approximately a sentence to leave their mouth before he's made his judgement on them. this also applies to his schoolwork and actual work ( on the occasion that his grandfather requires another set of trusted eyes ). in all things he does he is exceptionally precise, mostly a result of the scrutiny he faced with his parents expecting every move to be absolutely perfect. above all else, and probably the trait he would tell a person he possesses, he is extremely loyal, mostly to his family. there are few people he would go to the ends of the earth for and without a doubt his siblings are the first two ( and eleanor ). he was never raised to be soft, he was raised to run a multi-billion dollar corporation, and as such he never learnt to edge his words with honey, his words always tend to sound as if they have an edge to them, almost confrontational. if a person knows him well enough, they would understand that he usually means nothing by it, he doesn't care enough about most people for it to mean anything. when approaching any situation, his cunning is one thing he has no problem in using, it's often little more than a means to an end as long as it benefits him or someone he cares about. he also has a habit of coming across as quite pompous, he's lived a life where he hasn't ever wanted for anything, everything is served up on a silver platter. as such his view of the world is also quite skewed and his knowledge of simple things like grocery shopping is nonexistent. it makes him come off as conceited and haughty, once the layers are peeled back he is definitely a different person, alas he's hard pressed to let anyone close enough to see him.

PLOTS

okay, i'm definitely spitballing because connections for him are genuinely hard, i can almost guarantee that while i don't think he makes enemies, he's certainly not making friends with many people. he's probably friendly with most people in the riot club, but nowhere close to someone he actually considers a close friend. in saying that, here are a list of connections i can see, but i'm so happy to brainstorm some fun things up ! 

close friends ( 0/2 ) — would have also been close to tom, and i imagine each of them brought a different dynamic/layer to the group ( for instance i definitely think tom was hooking up with one of their mates ). past hookups ( 0/? ) — obviously he isn't hooking up with anyone right about now but i definitely think he was a bit of a fuccboi before eleanor.  childhood friends ( 0/1 ) — hugo never really got out much as a child, but when he did it was usually with this character, their parents were likely friends of his own parents and thus, this character would have been ' approved '. party friends ( 0/2 ) — i imagine that these two were the ones who helped him get through tom's death where eleanor couldn't, he had, and still has, a lot of frustration regarding his friend's passing and i can see him just wanting to go out, drink far too much and forget about things for a little while. riot friends ( 0/? ) — he's not very... chummy with many people, but considering everyone in the riot club are of a similar calibre, he definitely feels more comfortable calling most people in riot more than acquaintances. 

[thorne93]

The Right Path (Part 6 - FINAL)

Prompt: (From request) Hi! I was wondering, would you it be okay to request a Charles Xavier x telepath!reader? Where they have a mind link since their ability first showed up and so they already know each other even before theyve actually met and then he finds her when he first uses Cerebo and he and Erik go to her first?? Its an idea ive had for a while, but im not nearly an amazing writer like you!

Word Count: 1683

Warning: language (maybe??), child abuse, mental and physical abuse, depression…

Note: I LOVED this request. Thank you for sending it in. I am so sorry it took so long to write. I hope I did it justice dear. Plus, thank you for the super sweet note ; ) Beta’d by none other than @like-a-bag-of-potatoes

Forever Tags: @capsmuscles @cocosierra94 @essie1876 @magpiegirl80 @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @harleyquinnandscarletwitch @iamwarrenspeace @marvel-imagines-yes-please @superwholocked527 @myparadise1982sand @missinstantgratification @thejemersoninferno @rda1989 @marvelloushamilton @munlis @thefridgeismybestie @bubblyanarocks3 @random-fluffy-pink-unicorn @hardcollectionworldtrash @igiveupicantthinkofausername @kaliforniacoastalteens @feelmyroarrrr​ @kaeling

James McAvoy:  @bohemianrhapsody86 @lenawiinchester

Charles Xavier: @bohemianrhapsody86 @lenawiinchester

Right Path: @polkadottedpillowcase

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and the team worked tirelessly for a handful of days. You helped ease Erik’s mind when he got too upset, you helped calm Banshee before he tried to fly, giving him a bit of confidence that he needed to fly. You and Hank talked chemistry and biology, while you and Raven discussed her crush on him when he wasn’t around. Charles trained with you every day, and each time, the two of you had such chemistry and bonded so well, it nearly drove you mad.

Other than that, Charles and Hank assigned you to help train everyone. You would get inside their head, ease fears, help them see what was holding them back, and then you’d work with them. It was becoming quickly apparent that you were Charles’s right hand. Yes, he and Erik made a great team, they were pretty much your leaders of the pack, and you didn’t want to deny or invade on that. However, when it came to keeping uniform, you were the better choice.

You dealt with all sorts of obstacles of your own, dealing with the others, and even with Charles. He asked you to help him train as well, which felt incredibly foreign, but you loved to be of any service to him. You realized you had thought about your feelings around Charles numerous times, not on purpose, and you were sure he’d heard you, but you’d never admitted it out loud to him. Now wasn’t the best time. Not while everyone was gearing up to fight Shaw.

Raven had confided in you about the thing that Hank had said about being beautiful, she also told you that now she had feelings for Erik. At first, yes, you had a bit of a crush on Erik, but now, now he was just a good friend. Charles was the only man for you and he would always be, even if he didn’t return the feeling. So you let her cry on your shoulder, as you tried to explain Hank’s thoughts. You informed her that if she felt more comfortable around Erik then she should be with him. Erik was a lot stronger on the “mutant and proud” front than Hank, and that’s all Raven had ever wanted -- acceptance. So Erik would be the obvious choice for her. She told you of her plan to seduce him and it made you blush and squirm a tad, but ultimately you gathered your senses and told her she should do whatever will make her happy, whatever she won’t regret. She had kissed your cheek and bounded off to set her plan in motion.

Charles had confided in you about Erik’s personal vendetta, the one he’d seen in your mind.

“I saw it too,” you confessed. “But can you blame him, Charles? He shot his mother right in front of him.”

“I know that,” he said, pacing his bedroom as you sat on the end of his bed, watching him. “I don’t want to get there to stop Shaw and Erik is so blinded by rage and hate that he blows the whole thing. Do you know he asked me if I was naive or arrogant?” he asked, nearly rhetorically. Usually he was never this upset, but then again, his newest and closest companion was giving a stance, a hard one, against an idea that everyone felt very strongly about.

As a mutant, it wasn’t a political debate. Not one that some people felt strongly against the humans, some felt strongly with the humans, and someone was neutral.

No.

No, when it came to the stance of “Are you for or against humans?” there was only one answer to be had. A side to pick. You and Charles believed in humans like Mr. Nobody and Moira. Erik believed in humans like Shaw.

“What did he actually say?” you wondered, knowing Charles was upset.

“He said, ‘Are you really so naive, as to think that they won't battle their own extinction? Or is it arrogance?’.”

You nodded. “Charles...You won’t change his mind. He’s been through too much to believe humans can be good. It would take an act of God for him to see that they aren’t all the same.”

“That’s my fear, is that they are,” he confided.

“You think they’re like Shaw?” you questioned as he walked over to you and sat down next to you, your legs practically touching.

“No,” he stated, seeming exasperated. “No, but I know how people are. People are just like animals, when they’re hurt, they lash out. Someone like Moira might be okay today, while we’re helping them, but if something goes wrong, are we suddenly the problem? The thing that needs to be cast out?”

Your hand found his as you gave it a squeeze. “That will always be a question we have. But we have to have faith that not everyone is like that. How can they trust us if we don’t trust them?” you asked. “It has to start somewhere. It needs to start with us. No matter what happens tomorrow, or in ten years, or in twenty years, we can’t give up hope. There will always be non-mutants that will stand beside us and fight with us, not against us...We just have to get through the ones that want to fight us first.”

“How do you have so much hope? You’re upbringing was nearly has heartbreaking as Erik’s. How can you have faith after all this time?” he wondered with curiosity.

“You,” you said without much thought or hesitation. “You were my beacon for so long. I held out hope that we’d meet. You came to me in my dreams over and over, without fail. You could’ve given up on me, on meeting me,  you didn’t know anything about me, but I’m willing to bet, something within you made you want to come back to me. Somehow, Charles, we’re linked, and not just because we’re telepathic. But because you somehow knew I needed you in my life. If people like you exist, mutant or not, then I have to hold out hope. You’re proof that it’s real. That having faith pays off.”

A small v formed between his brows and a wild look swirled into his eyes before he lurched at you, his lips crashing on yours, taking you by complete surprise.

The feeling of pure electricity lighting up your body, from your lips down to your toes. You’d dreamed of this moment for as long as you could remember, and now that it was here, you felt light, floating, dizzy, nearly ethereal. His lips were softer than you ever imagined, but they were firm, the feeling behind his lips determined as ever. Somewhere you were vaguely aware that his hand was resting just above your elbow. All too soon, the kiss ended, but you were far from sober from that kiss.

“I---uh--” you stammered, your mind and body not quite caught up to what was happening.

“That was…better than I ever imagined,” Charles breathed with a bit of a joyous laugh in his voice.

“You liked it?” you asked, a tad embarrassed and nervous about your lack of experience.

“I loved it. I want to do it every day for the rest of our lives,” he said in a low voice, a giant grin painted on his face as his slender hand reached towards your cheek to cup it.

“I’m in love with you,” you said, quickly as if you were ripping off a bandaid. You had to say it. You’d been putting it off, but with the impending war, you were tired of waiting. Tired of waiting to be yourself around someone. Tired of putting your feelings away for other people.

You were so afraid to look at him. To meet his eyes. You were so afraid of rejection, it wasn’t even remotely funny. You wanted to rant and say it was okay if he didn’t love you back but you kept quiet, letting him gather his thoughts.

After a moment, Charles suddenly said, “Y/N, I love you too. Look at me,” he gently commanded and you obeyed. “I have loved you from the moment we met. And not because I could read your mind, although that was part of it, but because you’re good and pure and compassionate and wise and smart and kind...You’re so many things, Y/N. You’re everything anyone could ever want in their life. More importantly, you’re everything I want. I know we’ve only known each other for a handful of weeks, technically, but I feel so connected to you. I want to spend a lifetime with you, getting to know you, getting to help you, having you help me with mutants.”

“But...we hardly know each other,” you prompted. Yes, you loved Charles. Yes, you wanted to spend your life by his side. Yes, you knew you’d never tire or fall out of love. Yes, you knew it sounded crazy. But you knew how you felt. Charles could just be infatuated.

“Read my mind and tell me I’m not serious,” he challenged with determined eyes. “I know it’s highly unorthodox, but when has anything about our relationship been normal?” he questioned with a bit of humor in his features.

“Never, I suppose,” you admitted.

“Right. And it doesn’t have to be now. I know I want you, I know I love you. I don’t need to know your favorite color or favorite band to know that I loved the girl whose dreams I visited for three years,” he assured, his eyes searching yours. “So if you’re willing to be something more...so am I.”

“I am. I’m more than willing.”

“Good,” he breathed before planting a lingering, soft kiss to your lips. “Me too. I think this is a good path for us.”

“I know it’s the right path,” you assured, your hands resting on his arms, staring into his eyes, finally happy with your life. Finding where you fit in, and with whom, with a perfect man by your side. You could take on the world.

[darlinggod]

title: how was i to know (i was far too much in love to see) (AO3 link)

summary: There’s a perfectly rational explanation as to why Clarke doesn’t like Bree and Bellamy has nothing to do with it. She’s mostly sure. 

A/N: This is mostly fluff and pining!Clarke. I love only ever writing, like, one kind of fanfiction!

Bree is not exactly hard to like. She’s smart, if a little lazy. Her jokes are inappropriate, but she’s charming enough to pull it off. In theory, she sounds like someone Clarke might actually like. But, there’s just something off about her. Clarke can’t like her. Not for a lack of trying, she’s looked at it from every angle. Clarke finds herself thinking about it a lot. It’s like staring at a painting that’s technically sound and still getting repulsed by it. It’s driving her insane.

But, Bree is Bellamy’s… something. She should, at least, figure out what she doesn’t like about her. He’s her best friend and she’s gotten along with most of his hook-ups. Though, she has to admit, none of them have hung around him this long.

The point is, once she understands why she doesn’t get along with his... whatever she is to him (because there absolutely has to be a reason for it), she might be able to look Bellamy in the eye again without feeling like she’s doing something wrong and just barely getting away with it.

Raven is as sympathetic as Clarke expects she would be when she tells her about it at brunch.

“You can’t be serious.” Raven looks utterly unimpressed but she can’t be exactly sure if it’s a reaction to what she said or if it’s just her default mood. “Oh, my god, you are unbelievable,” she mutters under her breath. Okay, so it’s her, then.

Clarke shifts uncomfortably. “What?”

“Clarke.” Raven stops herself abruptly, biting her bottom lip. “Never mind,” she says and chugs the rest of her mimosa, instead.

She doesn’t push, knows she won’t like what Raven has to say. Clarke considers her words, instead. “Do you like Bree?”

Raven makes a non-committal noise. “She’s fine.”

“Just fine?” Clarke asks and feels hope sparking in her chest. If Raven doesn’t like Bree either, there’s hope she isn’t over-reacting.  

“Clarke, you know that it’s hard for me to like people. I barely know her,” Raven tells her and, she knows she’s right. Raven doesn’t take easy to anyone, except for Luna, maybe. But,she was in love with Luna almost immediately, so that doesn’t count.

She thinks of Bree, for what seems like the millionth time, and tries to make sense of all this, but she draws a blank. Instead, she finds herself thinking of the time she’d seen Bellamy’s arm wrapped around Bree’s waist and her grinning up at him. Her stomach feels like lead.

Clarke pokes at her salad with her knife, her appetite gone. “But, you know why I don’t.” The answer is buzzing at the back of her head. Clarke has every intention of ignoring it until she absolutely has no choice.

“I’m not interfering.”

Clarke doesn’t laugh at that but it’s a close thing. Raven’s the most meddlesome person she knows. If she were to make a list of every single inappropriate comment someone has made about her love-life—or lack thereof—, Raven would make most of it.

But she doesn’t feel like following that train of thought. “You hacked into my laptop yesterday!”

“Okay, first,” she says, holding up a single finger, “guessing that your password is your middle name is not hacking— “

“Hey, that’s genius. No one knows my middle name which, conveniently, also means that witches can’t put curses on me!”

“— Second,” Raven continues, ignoring her, which, fair, “you kept going on and on about you haven’t installed any anti-virus software in your new laptop yet, and it was driving me insane.”

“I was getting to it,” Clarke protests in a tone that suggests she was not, in fact, getting to it.

“You needed it too with all the weird porn you watch.”

“For the last time, I was dating Sterling at the time and he was into some weird things!” Raven makes a face. “It was one time!”

“One time too many,” Raven mumbles.

Clarke smacks her shoulder with a discarded napkin and Raven jabs her in her ribcage.

“Next time, I’ll let you catch the virus.”

“Well, I like it better when you meddle.”

There’s an extended silence. Clarke’s not talking about the computer anymore and Raven is both smart and a good enough friend to pick up on it.

“Fine,” she relents, “you’re jealous.”

There it is. The most obvious explanation to her troubles. She knows that if she digs enough, she’ll find it’s true. And that, unfortunately, also makes it the most problematic explanation.

“He’s my best friend,” she reasons weakly, “We’re not a thing.”

“Those things aren’t mutually exclusive,” her friend retorts, not unkindly.

“Yeah but I don’t have feelings…” she trails off. She can’t say that. Even before this whole thing, she could never say that. They were Bellamy and Clarke. She realizes, with an ungentle tug of her stomach, that she had always thought that it was going to be them in the end. She swallows and it hurts.

Her expression must be truly pitiful because Raven backtracks. “He’s your best friend. Maybe, you just don’t want to share him.”

“Maybe.” She knows Raven is lying for her benefit. But, Clarke feels like she’s lying too.

                                                 Millers and Boon

Miller

                                                                                                 Is bellamy dead???

No

What

                                                                                  Why are you texting me then

                                                                                                 It’s 3 in the morning

I’m working I can’t tell the time

                                                                  There aren’t any clocks in the hospital?

It’s how they keep us here

Wait why would I be the one telling you that bellamy’s dead

                                                                                      Idk you’re always together

                                                                           And youre his emergency contact

It makes perfect sense to have a doctor as your emergency contact

                                                                                                                       Right.

Fuck off

But seriously

Bree

(two attachments sent)

She looks like me doesn’t she?

                                                                                                         I guess I see it

                                                             But you also said bryan looks like bellamy

HE DOES

                                                                                                Ok Clarke whatever

                                                                      Wait you woke me up for this??????

I mean you didn’t have to wake up for a text

                                                                                                  I cannot stand you.

                                        Does this have anything to do with your feelings for him

…………..

Did you talk to raven

             you think raven is the only person who thinks you’re in love with bellamy

                                                                        jasper calls you guys mom and dad

yeah but we’re talking about real people

                                                                                            im going to bed clarke

tell your boyfriend I said hi

                                                                  im not relaying your existence to bryan

                                                   you made it too weird with the bellamy comment

YOU CANT HIDE FROM THE TRUTH NATHAN

                                                                                       Millers and Boon is offline

She feels bad when she invites her friends over for dinner the next day and it’s only half because she misses them. In truth, she needs a distraction. Clarke’s never been particularly good at feelings. And whenever she’s had them, they were short-lived, all-consuming and almost painful. But, with Bellamy, it’s— it’s all encompassing. It’s soft and sweet and makes her feel like she’s doing something right. It’s a feeling in her chest that she carries with her everywhere she goes. She knows what she feels, and she’ll be fucked if she lets him go because she’s too afraid to be happy.

When Bellamy shoots her a messing telling her that he’s on his way, she finds that she isn’t actually that afraid anymore. It’s always nice seeing Bellamy, Clarke decides, when he pokes his head into her apartment without knocking. It’s nice to see him when she’s upset, and when she’s excited, it’s even nice when she’s on the brink of admitting that she’s in love with him. If there’s only thing she can be sure of, it’s that she’ll always want to see him. His smile is the one she’ll most easily recognize. She’d know him from miles away. He sets her at ease.

“Hey.” He wraps his arm around her shoulder as he enters the apartment and absent-mindedly presses a kiss to her temple.

“Oh,” she says. I love you, she thinks. “You’re early.”

“Nice to see you, too,” he replies, a teasing lilt to his voice. You have no idea, she thinks. She gravitates towards him, smile growing on its own accord. Not a fucking clue. Bellamy smiles back with his whole body. His shoulders perk up and his eyes sparkles and her head feels like it’s clearing itself up, like the noise is leaking out. She’s starting to realize that he loves her too. In whatever way.

He drops onto the couch and she slots herself next to him, the way she always has. “I just didn’t realize you were going to be early.”

He shrugs. “I’m on time. Everyone else is just late.”

“You’ve been friends with us for years, you should know what ‘on time’ means.”

“Just because my friends are impolite assholes, doesn’t mean I have to be.” She sticks out his tongue at him and he rolls his eyes, but it’s all stained with fondness.

“Yeah, you’re just a regular asshole.”

“Run of the mill,” he agrees, deadpan. Clarke bites her bottom lip to stop herself from giggling. It was all fairly clear, in hindsight. He makes her forget herself. He makes her happy.

“Here.” He gets up abruptly and extends a hand to her. She raises an eyebrow. “Help me set the table,” says Bellamy. She snorts and lets him help her to her feet.

“I was going to do that on my own before you got here,” she says primly.

He snorts. “You don’t have to do everything on your own, you know.”

Her whole body feel warm, her skin buzzing lightly. “I know.” She bumps his shoulder with hers. “I got you for that.”

They’re standing closely, and there’s a moment where she thinks he’s going to kiss her. But, he grabs the pizza boxes from the counter and sets them on the table instead. She sighs and sets out to search for the paper plates she hasn’t seen in weeks.

There’s a few minutes of easy silence. He gets the beer out of the fridge and she finally finds the paper plates in the cabinet next to stove she never uses. He even helps her clean up a little, dusting the countertops and picking up some of the garbage she had left lying around. He calls her a spoilt princess teasingly even though she knows it’s true and she calls him a dumb, helpful idiot, which rings, like, thirty percent true, at least.

“Hey,” he calls when the place looks – what she can only assume is—satisfactory to him, “Bree’s going to stop by to drop something off. Is that cool?”

A wave of hurt hits her. It starts at her stomach and she feels it constrict her insides. She’s surprised at how violent it is. How momentarily blinding. “Yeah,” she replies, not really looking at him. “Of course, it’s fine. Why wouldn’t it be?”

He laughs, not unkindly. “I didn’t think you really liked her.”

“That’s crazy,” she scoffs, but she sounds defensive to her own ears. “I don’t have a reason not to.”

“I just thought—“

“—Well, you thought wrong,” Clarke snaps.

Hurt flashes in his eyes and she regrets. The jealousy is immediately replaced with a vague sadness. She wants him to be happy. She would like him to be happy with her, but that’s secondary. That’s another unchangeable truth. But she can’t just stand there and pretend it’s all okay. She thought she was ready, but. She doesn’t think she’s strong enough. Maybe, just not yet.

“I have to go.” She doesn’t have the desire nor the energy to hide the breaking of her voice, or heart. She spins on her heel before she can do something even stupider like yell. Or cry.

“Wait,” he calls. She pauses long enough for him to catch her wrist. Her skin burns hot where he touches her. Her eyes burn. She burns. She turns to face him slowly, her heart thundering in her chest, and stares at the spot above his shoulder, still not daring to look at him. She’s sure he can feel her pulse, wild and erratic.

“Are you jealous, Clarke?”

Her first instinct is to laugh it off. Her second is to run for the hills. Maybe, that says something about her character. She does neither, which definitely says something about what he means to her. She risks a glance at him. His face is wide open, eyes as honest as she’s ever seen. His expression, she’s hopeful enough to call it longing. It hits her, for maybe the first time, that she wants him to know. That he might want to know.

She blinks. “Yes.”

His eyes widen, the grip on her wrist loosening. Her hands are shaking, her throat is dry. She only notices that his hands are shaking, too, when he slides it into hers.  

“You know I’m in love with you, right?” His voice is so soft, she’s half-sure she imagined it. Mostly, she finds herself settling into the revelation the way one might settle into their bed after a long, tiring day.

She feels relief and joy and she feels. More than she’s felt in a long time. She laughs, watery, and squeezes his hand. “I didn’t.”

He grins, a little crooked, a little shy. “Well, I am,” he says. He is beaming. She thinks she might explode, come undone. But she stays the way she is, and he looks at her the way he does. They are the same and they are in love.

“Oh.” I love you, she thinks. She tugs him closer, just because she can. “I love you, too,” she says.

He brushes her cheek with his thumb and she lets out a sigh so loud, it’s almost embarrassing. Almost. She gets on her tiptoes and kisses him then. He kisses her sweetly, and if he hadn’t said it before, she would’ve known that he loved her right there. She pulls away, places her hands on his shoulders to steady herself.

“Bree?” she asks because, apparently, she’s the jealous type. He kisses her quickly and she giggles into it, coaxing a longer one out of him. He grins smugly

“We slept together once. She’s pretty cool so, we hang out.”

She smiles, resting her forehead against his. “You know, I think I see it.”

[survivingjapan]

EPISODE 1 - “Holding Reward At Gunpoint” Jonathan (Part 1)

http://68.media.tumblr.com/46c9df6f59ea9546f5bce886bded1108/tumblr_of3pd5e6Md1vzwwmeo2_250.gif

see. the thing is. I thought the prospect of having 26 people was going to make it a lit season with mess galore but this is too much. i dont know who these people are and im too lazy to go read all their bios so can we fast forward to merge when everyone h8s me and im begging for people to take me back so that I don't have to pretend to care about the early boots? ok tho I got really lucky my first 2 times playing to not be eliminated pre-merge or at double digits so im 99.9% sure my luck is going to run out this time..... just as long as I beat Jaiden, I'm good.

*ring ring* What is this telephone doing in the DR? Hello? OH hey Bodhi, no Matt's actually not here but I was just leaving a message for him, is there anything you'd like to say? http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9lmmjz1D01r5govf.gif HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Hi fakes! Sucks you can't join me.....if only you hadn't turned poor lil Crow into a raging bitter bitch in Great Lakes with that goddamn rock!

I'll do a cast assessment later but lemme just say that I am completely shook that Andrew and Pippa and Isaac are here??? God they're so ugly but it makes me so happy that my fellow premerge flops are here to kick some ass. 

First off.... You people must really hate me don't you? Gosh jeez Connor I thought we were friends! I feel I need to take a bit of a moment to chuckle because, and again, I don't know these people that well, but I know for damn sure I'm one of the biggest villains in this cast, and I couldn't be MORE excited I am so "nice" that I'm placed on the heroes tribe. Tbh most of what i say in my confessional is just so people can laugh at what I said after the season is over, but I HATE talking to people, especially fucking TWENTY FIVE of them, and not only that, but can we take a look at the elephant in the room. The only people who know how I REALLY play and how I REALLY run my confessionals and gameplay are Steffen, Andrew, Pippa and Isaac because they hosted me. WHY IN THE GODAMN SAINT NICK'S ASSHOLE DID YOU PUT ALL FOUR OF THEM ON MY TRIBE LIKE OH MY GOD I THINK I'M GOING TO JUMP OFF OF A CLIFF BRB. In all honesty, I love all four of them. They're like my tumblr parents, but I need to find a way to get them all to individually want me than all of the others, and I hate having to plea my case to any of them as to why I should be trustworthy, because that's not how games work, but the fighting argument for me to be on this tribe is that i'm extremely loyal, and I'm thrilled that I get to play my loyal card and not have to be on the villain tribe, where people feel the need to play like villains. I think I'm going to be more of a villain than a hero this season, but I'll have to make it deep enough for those colors to truly show, and I'm hoping I can make it deep enough. I am right now going to look to make relationships with Kendall, Trace and Drew, in hopes that I can use those bonds early in the game, and maybe make a really tight deal with Kendall and Trace because they both seem like great people, leaving my soloman family as an afterthought for now, considering there's a good chance they'll get targeted. My plan for now: Seem like a starry eyed kid heading into the big times and see how it works out. :)

WELL... After watching all the videos, I first have to say WTF is Jonathan doing... I can't tell if he's being serious or not. Sorry not sorry. Linus' video made me choke and then I see we've got two shitty Great Lakes people in this game, one from my tribe and one from theirs. I can honestly hope that someone just doesn't get around as much as I do, and this way they'll be a target first and not me. I am REALLY liking Trace already because he's a frat boy just like me, and never in a million years did I think that I'd find another frat boy in this community, but here he is, so I hope that him and I can do some damage this season in a very non obvious way. I think the other person I really need to connect with is Andrew because I think he's a really smart player, and I really want to work with him (and Steffen) and especially push away Isaac and Pippa because they seem like weak links on the chain, and I know all of them being here is not going to be good for my game because they're just going to target Steffen or Andrew, so hopefully I can keep those two here. As for the Villains tribe, Tommy has been talking to me all night, and I legitimately feel closer to him than anyone else from my tribe. Same with Linus, who played in Soloman, but we never ever connected, so this is good that he's here, so I can hope to branch a bond with him. I'm also talking to Jaiden, who I have past game experience with, and then Crow and I have known each other for years, so if it comes to that, hopefully we can be secret enough to make moves with each other. Those four villains are ins that I'm going to try to have for awhile in the game, and if it ends up working out, it can put me in a really good position. My night one seems to be over as I'm fucking EXHAUSTED and need to go to bed. My plan for tomorrow is solidify something more with Kendall, and maybe even get a "ride or die" type offer out there since I think she's a really good player, and I know she knows I'm good too, and I think we're both loyal, which is great. I want to take a work on Mist and Alex C tomorrow, in hopes that outside the night one craziness, they can focus on building a bond with me. I need to take a backseat strategically, but a social frontrunner because if I'm being included in things, and minimally strategically contributing, it will take me a far way, and that's what I'm hoping for at this point. With 26 people, it's going to be hard to not write a million confessionals, but let the good times roll and we'll see what comes out of this game. :)

Time for my cast assessment. As I'm doing this, I'm re-watching the cast videos. A lot of this will be based off of first impressions because there are some people I’ve never met before, and others I’ve only briefly talked to in group chats or games I got out early in… Lol. We'll start with the Heroes. HEROES: Alex: Eyeroll. Alex is honestly way too hyped. He is so arrogant and the few games I’ve played with him, he just came off so smug and full of himself that it made me actually want to punch him in the face. Sorry Alex, India was not a fun game for either of us and you made it miserable! He probably hates me because I broke his 80-odd day streak of never receiving a vote for or against him in Tumblr Survivor, or maybe because I knew about ***** being a catfish half the season. Anyways, I hope one of us gets out early or we never swap onto the same tribe. Alex is super close with Kendall and I know Kendall is close with Sarah, so those three are gonna work together well simply because they did it in India. Andrew: My Uncharted baby!!! I love Andrew. We played together in UI with Pippa and later Storybook All Stars so I’m SO happy for him getting cast for the season he’s wanted to play for so long. I don’t think Andrew and I can work together because both of us had difficulty working together in Panem, so… We’ll see. Love him tho. Ashton: I LOVE ASHTON. He’s so adorable, he literally doesn’t even know that this is Heroes vs Villains 3. I’m rooting for him simply because he was a first boot and he came off really kind-hearted in his introduction video. Someone needs to protect this kid, because he CANNOT get premerge again – it would be a travesty. I’ll talk to him at some point tomorrow I guess. Dom: I’ve heard of Dom a couple times before, didn’t know much about him though. I think it’s pretty cool that he’s married to someone who was in the community in the past, he seems like a nice person. I see why he is on the heroes tribe. I want to get to know him a little bit better. Drew: Drew…. Ugh. Another person I didn’t wanna see this season. I don’t know what it is about Drew, but this guy is like a virus. I don’t enjoy playing games with him because he infects everybody else with this ugly ass disease and then he wipes everybody out. Like I’ll give him credit where credit is due, he’s a great player, but at some point in your life I think it’s time to know that you’re not going to do much better than what you’ve done. He can only win so many times and I hope this isn’t the main season he wins against me. Isaac: I like Isaac. I think his self-deprecating humor is very fun and he comes off as very honest about himself. However, I don’t think Isaac likes me. He’s very close with people like Pippa and Andrew and that’s going to be dangerous for my game because there isn’t a lot I can do to convince Isaac that I’m going to be on his side this season. With that being said, I won’t actively pursue a working relationship with Isaac, but I want to rebuild our relationship because I could need him down the road and I want to prove to him especially that I have changed. Johnny: GINGER KING. He’s cool. I aligned with him in his very first Tumblr game and we got along well but I was constantly trying to backstab his ass and ended up quitting that game fhdaskhjk. He deserved it tho because he was super fucking messy. I don’t know how he’s going to play this season and I’m kinda surprised that he’s on the heroes tribe??? I hope I can work with him this season because I like him a lot. Kendall: I can appreciate Kendall. My issue with her is that she is so hard to work with because she only trusts the people she’s been with the longest. So I know her loyalty will always lie with her heroes and Alex and Sarah. Kendall has got to go sooner rather than later and I won’t have an issue getting her out if a swap happens. Sorry, Kendall. Mist: LOVE Mist. I was rooting for them (idk their pronouns btw) in Maldives and then they got removed so it’s messy. I’m actually kinda surprised that Mist is on the heroes but I guess it’s more of a creative decision to have them there. I don’t know where we stand so I’ll try to talk to Mist more tomorrow. Pippa: AHHHH another Uncharted queen! Pippa is so messy and I love it. She’s definite fodder for the premerge so hopefully she lasts just long enough for us to end up together and I can take her out. :’) She hates me and that’s okay because I think I hate her too? Whatevs. Nothing special about Pippa, she’s just typical avocado-hating fashionist Pippa. Ruthie: A lot of people love Ruthie and she does extremely well in Big Brother games, but I don’t think that her popularity there is gonna translate well over to this season. I will keep an eye out for her because I know she’s got a spectacular social game and could easily go far this season. Her placement on the Heroes tribe is no surprise in the slightest. Steffen: I don’t like Steffen. Trace: Total wildcard. Never heard of Trace before and his video was the blandest of the Heroes, unfortunately. He was the first revealed in the cast reveal too so that was kinda cool, I guess. VILLAINS: Alex: He’s cool. I talked to him quite a bit today but he hasn’t messaged me back. I want to get to know him better. I’ve been talking about previous games to let him know the kind of person I am in hopes that he trusts me or wants to work with me, I suppose. Ashley: We have history from India and we didn’t get along around the time I went home. We never spoke much following that and I never thought we’d play together again, but here we are. I think she’s on this tribe because she flipped on the majority in India and it cost her the game at final four. She got what she deserved, tbh! Sorry to say. She is a nice girl, I’m willing to bury the hatchet, but who knows if the bridge between us has been burnt beyond repair. I don’t know if she will trust me or not. Brian: He’s cool, I guess. I haven’t talked to him and supposedly he’s fake as fuck. We’ll see what happens with him. Crow: Love Crow. Like secretly Crow could be my showmance. I just get him more than I get other people in this community. I want to work with Crow so bad, and I think he’s got a better game than he lets on at times. I hope that he can help me mend fences with key players like Sarah and through him, I can develop stronger bonds with people from Cutthroat, too. Jonathan: I barely know him LOL. He reminds me of Justin Timberlake. Junior: Junior can literally go fuck himself, but if you think I’m going to hold that animosity towards him this season… you’re absolutely correct. Junior is going to come after me because he’s a dumb cunt and I truly want nothing more than to send his ass out first tribal council we go to. Realistically, that’s not going to happen because he’s got so many fucking friends here, but as soon as the opportunity presents itself, I will go full chaos Jaiden and throw his dirty ass into the ocean. If you’re reading this and you got me before I got you, Junior, good on you. I don’t forgive and I don’t forget. Kage: Kage is a MESS and a half. I like it. No clue where we stand because I attacked him once and he like, briefly left the community but it is what it is. We’ll see. Linus: LINUS! Not surprised to see him here, but he’s not someone I would’ve predicted to be on the cast either. I’ve talked to him a lot today and he is also pretty cool, and I went overboard telling him tons of things about myself so he knows exactly what he’s getting into with me. I actually want to work with Linus because he seems scrappy, yet loyal as hell and I definitely need bigger threats surrounding me at all times like him. Who knows who this guy’s friends with, though. Patrick: No offense but who is he LOL Richie: Yikes, again who is he? I don’t know anything about him except that he won a season. Sarah: I said this pre-season, I’ll say it again now. Sarah is a very dirty player. I absolutely expect her to lowkey screenshot my conversations, use her magic to record my calls or something, and use everything against me. It is no secret that she’s done these tactics in the past and she is definitely the queen of making pre-game alliances, too. However, this season I want to approach Sarah with as much respect as possible. While using her strategies to get far in games is not admirable, I will admit that it works well for her and I don’t need to be on her bad side already. I’ll let Sarah use me the first couple of rounds so she can trust me, who knows. I just don’t want to turn on her too soon this season. Tommy: In Cutthroat, I basically said that I hated Tommy despite not knowing him, and I have to say that he’s the one person who completely had my feelings about them change during that season. He impressed the hell out of me with just how nice he was? We talked on call for HOURS in Cutthroat and I really appreciate that because he kept the conversation going, too. He’s really cool and I definitely want to work with him this season, possibly with the other Cutthroat players or something. Tommy is a top favorite of mine right now. So there you have it. My cast assessment. We’ll see how this changes as time goes on, hopefully I have a good read on these people.

https://youtu.be/sJNDguNKVpc

Umm, not much has happened so far. Tommy and Ashley seem nice. I had an instant connection with Alex, Sarah, and Crow just from past games and yeah that's about it. The start of Survivor is kinda like a first date. If you don't make a good first impression, you likely won't make the merge (if ya know what I mean). With that said, I think my intro video was ok. I got a few people say it was funny. I fucking hate Jaiden so much. Jaiden can go rot in fucking flaming hell for all i care. You might ask why I hate Jaiden. It's because he doesn't seem like someone who deserves to be alive. Wow, that got dark

Currently the only thing I'm mad about other than Jaiden is the fact I'm not on ashtons tribe. I so badly want to Francesca him

How many puppies do I need to kill in order to get through you people's head that I am EVIL????????????????

6 the answer is 6.

I can't believe I haven't made one of these yet!  Life is CRAZY for me right now so I've been super MIA and I just hope that I don't get targeted for it whenever we go to tribal or whatever. I'm glad that we get a reward challenge and that the weekend is coming up so WHEW.  I'm sure then I'll have time to talk to more people and make more connections.  I have to like... not flop at this reward so that my tribe thinks they need me. :o) 

This weird squishy cat is my best friend now

So I'm on day two and feeling a little wary because I really haven't been able to speak to the people I've wanted to speak to, and most importantly I haven't been able to build any GAME relationships, except with Trace, but that was last night. I talked to Ashton a bit, and I'm thinking about bringing him on as a potential ride or die goat, and not necessarily a first boot material person, which a good move for me I believe. I started talking to Ruthie, as well as Steffen, who I knew already, but I really want to have one of the strongest connections with him because I think he's a REALLY strong player, so hopefully that can go in my favor. I've also been talking to Tommy literally nonstop, and he's actually a really cool dude, except I'm being a little wary, but I'm hoping he's got a man crush on me and he'll want to help me out a little bit down the line. I still don't understand the idol system, and I'm going to need someone to explain it to me because I legitimately don't get it. I think it's like a normal search, but instead, someone just says where they want to seearch to the hosts, and then the hosts exploit that location, so I think i'll go for it sometime tomorrow since it's once a round and I'm keen to wait for the reward before I go deep digging into an idol search, especially because I might get that clue, and if I do, I can really use it to my advantage. Such a shame I haven't been able to talk to Kendall today, because her and Steffen, along with Trace, are the people I'm most keen to work with, along with Ashton, so we'll see how this goes for now, but farewell for the night. i'm gonna go drop some cats into some boxes! As for now, it's time to do what I do best and beast out this reward challenge

Sushi Cat is the tru MVP. Anyways, I'm back to being cracked. I keep searching on the blog pages for idols because somehow I think the idol is gonna be hidden on there. Of course, I'm wrong, but there are just so many things that COULD be the idol hidden somewhere... I just don't know. I want an idol for some reason this season??? Probably to avoid going home idk. 

Anyways,,, Look What You Made Me Do is the OG villain song and it applies well to me and my Tumblr Survivor experience I don't like your little games Don't like your tilted stage The role you made me play Of the fool, no, I don't like you I don't like your perfect crime How you laugh when you lie You said the gun was mine Isn't cool, no, I don't like you (oh!) But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time I've got a list of names and yours is in red underlined I check it once, then I check it twice, oh! Ooh, look what you made me do Look what you made me do Look what you just made me do Look what you just made me do Ooh, look what you made me do Look what you made me do Look what you just made me do Look what you just made me do I don't like your kingdom keys They once belonged to me You ask me for a place to sleep Locked me out and threw a feast (what?) The world goes on, another day, another drama, drama But not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma And then the world moves on, but one thing's for sure Maybe I got mine, but you'll all get yours But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time I've got a list of names and yours is in red underlined I check it once, then I check it twice Ooh, look what you made me do Look what you made me do Look what you just made me do Look what you just made me do Ooh, look what you made me do Look what you made me do Look what you just made me do Look what you just made me do I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me I'll be the actor, starring in your bad dreams I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me I'll be the actor, starring in your bad dreams I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me I'll be the actor, starring in your bad dreams I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me I'll be the actor, starring in your bad dreams (Look what you made me do) (Look what you made me do) "I'm sorry, the old Jaiden can't come to the phone right now." "Why?" "Oh 'cause he's dead!" Ooh, look what you made me do Look what you made me do Look what you just made me do Look what you just made me do Ooh, look what you made me do Look what you made me do Look what you just made me do Look what you just made me do

Aight My Day 3 assessment of everyone in this cast: HEROES Mist: I didn't talk to him too much. But he seems pretty cool so far. Nice guy. Idk why but i like his pfp which makes me like him more. Alex C: I would go gay for Alex. He's great. Also he likes calling and calling is fun so there's another plus. I probably like him because he's the most like people I hang out with outside the game. Andrew: Another person I really like and definitely wanna work with. On call Andrew, Alex, (An)Drew and I jokingly formed an "A"lliance which honestly un gonna try and make real since those 3 are all great. Dom: I haven't talked to him yet but fuck he's good at sushi cat. Drew: Drew is one of the people the few people that I know from past games. He's just as nice as ever this time. Hopefully I can work with him. Isaac: Hmmm Isaac is the one of the people that I had a tough time having a conversation with. I'll try to talk to him more but I feel like he's just gonna be someone i don't click with. Johnny: I fucking love Johnny. Hes nice and easy to talk to and he says he's really good at challenges. So i'd love to work with him. Kendall: Her intro video was top notch and overall I think she's a top notch gal. Another one of my faves so far. Pippa: Pippa was the first person to message me after I got out of GL and tell me about everything in this community so she always has a special place in my heart. I haven't talked to her much this time, but I hope we can work together. Ruthie: Haven't talked to her yet either. She snapchatted me tho and I forgot to reply so I kinda feel like she. Steffen: Steffen hosted me before so I'll be wary that he kind of knows how I play. I haven't talked too much with him yet either. Trace: Super nice guy. That's all i can describe him as he's just a cool guy. One of my top picks for someone to work with long term. VILLAINS Other Alex: Idk him Brian: I've played with Brian before and he fucked me over hard so i'm obviously wary of him. I think he's the type of player that will flip on anyone so if i do work with him trust will be short. Kage: Im 90% sure the only reason I was cast was to counteract Kage but Tbh I think I'll probably work with Kage. The Great Lakers are all pretty close so I'd love to work with all of them. Crow: Another Great Lakean but I hardly know him so i'm not sure. Jaiden: Jaiden doesn't have a picture and it annoys me immensely. That is all. Jonathon: Idk him Junior: I liked his intro video but other than that I don't have much to say about him. Linus: Idk Pat: Idk him Richie: The love of my life. Please swap us together. Sarah: She's like Half Great Lakean. I've talked to her quite a bit over the first two days so I think she's someone i'll probably work with. Tommy: Had a fun convo with him so good first impression. Was disappointed when I saw he was a villain. Ashley: Idk her Overall my gameplan this season is to just connect with everyone in these first stages without talking too much strategy. Nobody is gonna target me first cuz they'll feel bad sending me out again and I'm honestly just a very very small target. So I have plenty of time to form bonds and let other people battle it out. CrowI'm such a legend when it comes to starting convos, replying once or twice, and then completely forget about them. Truly, honestly, I'm a social game god. I bet everyone either a) ignores my existence b) loves me in a way that like "haha you would be so fun to talk to but you still need to go....like now" c) doesn't know who I am People have said I'm charming but idk.....I don't see it? I'm awkward and socially inept? like, I'm no threat to anyone socially......so they should take me far....ya know....if they want? =) but anyways..... Obviously I know Kage - he was in my first season where he tried to pull a fast one on me and got himself eliminated and then Sarah, who was the hosting intern late into the season who cheered for me......and then Tommy and Jaiden from Cutthroat. I made a bold move to try and save Tommy and stuck by Jaiden even in his chaotic downfall, so if either of those hoes comes after me, they're fake and rude. Right now though I'm just being social with everyone and NOT talking game with people.....cuz with 13 people on a tribe, trying to form alliances will do much more bad than good, but hey, not to say I'd decline invites into alliances...:D

tbh I feel I’m not socializing as much as I should be, or people just aren’t talking that much, either or, I am just going to chill for now and hope I’m included in whatever I need to be included in for tribal council. I'm definitely just going to pray that I can get into something, and it's the real reason I REALLY need to talk to Kendall, because I know she's going to be the hitch to make something happen, and I want to be a part of that! I hope there aren't alliances made already, but if there are then fuck. It's not my fault I don't know these people as well as I should. Maybe I'll take initiative with a small group and see where it gets me... Perhaps Kendall, Trace, Ashton and Drew? Only time will tell. Maybe I'll take this time to take more notes on people's past gameplay like I've been doing for the past three days :)

jk Drew voted Kendall out of Malaysia. Abort mission. Abort Mission

My first confessional.  Yay.  Much excitement. So I'mma be quite blunt.  I hate hate talking to these people.  I'm not some social butterfly myself, but loorrdddyyy... I know a few of these people from before, and I do not like most of the people I already knew.  We just do not mesh in games.  So now, here, in my 3rd chance at the Sole Survivor title, I have to let these people control my fate?  Nu uh.  Ain't happenin'.  I have to do what I couldn't the first two times and W I N. I'll do a cast assessment later !! xoxo brain

Okay so this game is going pretty well so far. So far I heckin love Alex (the one on my tribe), we act like we have known each other for much longer than 2 days and I could see myself working really well with him. Kage is also pretty cool, and happened to tell me where not to look for the idol? Even though I never asked them to? Idk if that is a sign of trust or not, but if it is that's awesome and I love it. 13 people on a tribe is pretty hectic, but hopefully with this many people it will be easy to blend into the background for a bit before I start having to make tough calls. Also we won the first reward! And I must say, I have never relate more to a game than I did with Sushi Cat... anyways. We got a firemaking kit, not sure what it contains but we shall see. I usually have nothing to do with the flag making challenges so hopefully someone will just take charge and make a flag, then if we lose maybe they can be blamed? who knows. hopefully it goes okay though. 

I'm glad that someone else can take charge with this whole flag making thing because honestly?  While I'm kind of artsy by hand if I fail I don't want all the blame placed on me and whoever showed off how well they can make flags IS really good at it, the heroes are totally going to win! Also it sucks that we lost the reward challenge but at least people see that I'm a team player since I had one of the higher scores. I wish we did better though, it's frustrating! 

So we lost reward.... No thanks to Kendall for being excused, and Mist for getting a strike. Between Mist getting a strike, Kendall taking an excused, Dom being particularly non communicative because he's on vacation, Ashton sucking at TS and Alex ballsing up to do the immunity challenge for us, it's safe to say there are a good amount of names to throw up there for potentially being voted out first that isn't mine. However, I'm REALLY digging the flag that Alex is working on, and regardless if we win or lose, I hope he gets accolades for doing this because he did an amazing job and it looks really good! I hope tonight is the night that communication starts to flow and I can start making some deals if we lose immunity, especially the one with Kendall that I'm still fishing for. I have a good feeling that Ashton and Trace trust me, but unfortunately that's it for now, and I really just need to solidify something in the form of a vote to show that I can be an asset to people's games because I'm struggling to get my footing in this season compared to where I was in Soloman, so we'll see. I think Pippa and Isaac are more keen to work with me than Andrew and Steffen are, which is too bad because I want to get something with Steffen going early on, and we'll see where that takes me.

New Plan: I'm tired of waiting for Kendall. Steffen, you're up!

I'M BACK YA SHITS! Okay yeah I know it's only been 5 seasons because Hosts but point being, HvV 3 is something I had been dying to get into since I entered this community. Would I be a hero or a villain? Well, hero I guess. But listen - I don't intend on keeping this hero game up. In fact I think I have a better chance as a hero seeing as people might expect more "morally correct" or whatever the fuck you wanna call it shit outta me. So that means I can show the villainous side™ when they don't expect it. Because honestly? I think my app and mixed hero/villain reputation in general leaves me to be flexible with whichever direction I wanna go. So these assholes better get ready hehe Anyway this is day after reward was due (which we lost by a small margin but whatever) so I have a lot to discuss. Initial thoughts on the heroes? Fuck I wanna die. First of all, Connor and co. didn't realize until I pointed it out that they not only cast the entirety of the Solomon hosting team in Isaac, Pippa, Steffen, and I - he also put all of us on the same tribe. Which... Steffen hero? Unlikely content. Isaac and Pippa heroes? Yeah. Me? I still dunno. I mean this could be both good and bad because on the one hand I have numbers but on the other hand I could be fucked in the ass for having all these people I know. Not to mention Drew and Kendall are here and I'm also very close friends with those 2. Although, Isaac could be the one that's slightly more fucked connection-wise just because he not only has the Solomon hosting team but there's also a big fucking Malaysia bloc consisting of himself, Kendall, Drew, and Alex Crooks. Which I guess Crooks said he'll try to keep the MaGAYsians safe but whom'st've knows? Speaking of Crooks... Him and Pippa are gon' fuck. Like. I'm just saying. They vomited about theater on group call for 20 minutes and I'm pretty sure he's one of like the 5 (five) or so guys who actually likes Tits And Vajengas around here so I mean there's a chance... that could happen... I mean he's cool if we're on the subject of him now. He's definitely a more outspoken player and could be a threat? But also myself, him, Drew, and Ashton were on a group call the other night and all got along really well. Speaking of Ashton he's pretty chill actually? And seems down to Earth enough. I mean I still dunno if that Trump pic was a joke or not because he used the word meme but eh. If he's my number he's my number idgaf. I've talked to Trace, Mist, and Ruthie a bit too and I still need to talk to Dom. Which I should probably do today because gotta keep that social game up. And then there's Johnny who seems super excited to play with his hosts and I love him BUT! I know he can be insane. And I wouldn't put it past him to be like "lmao imagine if I vote out my hosts hehe." Not on my watch dot gif! In terms of villains... Holy shit. First of all, y'all cast Brian. Who hates me. I just don't play well with the guy like. He makes everything about him and has this self-righteous attitude but is also a snake so none of that clicks or makes sense and it's just like okay you dunno what you're doing huh. He doesn't like me from the Pacific Islands series after I've killed him twice, so there's that. Him and Isaac have bad blood too from that series so I can tell Brian is going to strictly be an enemy if I ever end up on a tribe with him. Same with Jaiden maybe? Idk the fact that Jaiden's here has me screaming because we just never end up working together. He's one of the biggest wild cards to play with in this community and we may be close friends but I'll vote him out in a heartbeat. And that honestly goes for any of these people. I've also talked to Sarah because she initiated convo with me and she seems fine but I know she's a messy player. I do need to work on connections though with some of the villains. I can probably try other Alex, Ashley, and Linus. Just because I have some prior slight experiences with them. I wanna definitely try getting to know Richie, Jonathan, and Pat just because I have never talked to them before. And like I said, connections with the villains could be very good. In Generations I didn't utilize the One World at all, so people wanted me out just for really not having that strategic connection to them. I don't wanna make that mistake this time. Anyway I guess last little tidbit of info uuuuuuuuh... I got a MOTHER FOOKIN IDOL YA'LL FUCK! I literally DRTYTFUYGIUHOIJPO god I was the first to search for the heroes and I dunno if the villains searched either but first fucking spot I find the hero's idol. Even Connor was shook LIKE YGIUHOIJPI I CANNOT BELIEVE!!! So now I have this and Isaac knows because like I gotta keep him close for now. And not only do I have this idol - but it can combine with the villain idol PROBABLY for a super idol. So we'll see where that goes. And oh yeah Steffen has an extra vote according to Isaac but it reveals who you vote for or something. Snake ass. Anyway wish me luck ya fakes :~)

So the move for me was to stop waiting and start acting! I couldn't do it too much, but I had to make a minor jump in the right direction since so many people were leaving me hanging. I really wanted to work with Steffen when I found out he was on my tribe, so I went to him with a ride or die deal. I am loyal to a fault, and there is no chance I'm going to turn on him with the deal I just made. He's going to be my Jacob, except, no offense to Jacob, but I have more confidence in Steffen to lead me into the right direction, opposed to Jacob, who was kinda loosely tagging behind me last season. Let's play ball, and if we lose this immunity, hopefully it's Steffen and I making power moves and not someone making a move on us, especially with the amount of people who've stood out early on as potential targets.

So I've tried being my weird self to as many as people as frequently as possible and in the process I made an alliance with Alex. Not necessarily because he's the one I love the most, but because he seems like he'll be one of the stronger influences in our tribe and in these early votes, I would like to just go with the flow.... Beyond that, I'm just trying to not flop at all this small talk crap by insulting everyone and hoping they take it as a joke because that's how I communicate... Tommy and I seem to be working together but we haven't said anything yet and there might be low-key tension between Jaiden and I, I can't tell.... I confided a bit in Alex so if I hear it come back around, I'll know he isn't to be trusted (I mean, nobody is to be trusted fully, we're the villains but I need faithful allies in these early days) Right now I'm playing myself down and trying to evaluate how these players are going to play based on their personalities because as of now, I do not feel safe whatsoever. I felt safer on my tribe of 4 in Cutthroat Island than this tribe of 13. here's to hoping that Crow doesn't get 26th *cheers*

 https://youtu.be/PLpY4ZXJQD4 I absolutley adore crow, alex, kendall, the other alex, drew linus and junior...god i love everyone..am i really on the villains tribe wtf djdbkdbd

[scribble-fox]

You Can't Ask That - Andromeda Edition

(Diverges from canon compliant at ‘high noon’) We’ve been granted an exclusive interview with some key players in the settling of Helius, and we’re asking the sensitive questions. Tune in for more!

The Charlatan (speaking via audio link only)

Charlatan, I hear you share the pathfinder with Vetra?

*The Charlatan laughs* "He's not a pie you can slice into pieces and pass around. Or a weapon you loan out to a colleague. Ryder shares himself with me, and I with him of course. I'm not old fashioned. Why should I ask him not to share himself with others who make him happy."

You don't get jealous?

"Jealous? No. I'm a busy man and so is he. The first thing he does when he comes into port is see me, but I don't like to think of him out there in those big pathfinder quarters on the ship, all by himself."

And you've met Vetra?

"I actually met Vetra before I met Ryder. I have a lot of respect for a woman like that. I wish I had had on older sister like her growing up."

What is your work like, and keeping secrets?

"I've gotten used to keeping secrets. It's necessary. I never found it very difficult until I met Ryder. When I first lied to him, it was just work, but as we got closer I felt, guilty. I trusted him, or I wanted to trust him. It's ironic, I betrayed his trust because I wanted him to see me as trustworthy” *Pause* "The rest of it? I do it because it's necessary. I think that's the right thing to do."

If you could choose again, would you come here or stay in the Milky Way?

"Objectively? No. I wouldn't come here if I knew what was going to happen. But now, I wouldn't change it. I think what we are doing is good. It's not what we expected, but it's good."

What do you miss about the Milky Way?

"Honestly? Burgers. Just sitting in a quiet diner, middle of the night, big greasy burger and a pile of fries."

Vetra Nyx

So, Vetra, you and the pathfinder.

"That's the first question?" *Vetra twitches her mandibles in the Turian equivalent of an eye roll* "I don't usually talk about my personal life, with strangers at least." *she sighs* "Ryder is fun and he's respectful. He supports me emotionally without treating me like I can't handle myself."

Do you think he has a lover in ever port?

"Ha! Ryder? He doesn't have time for that and I don't think he's quite that charming. Besides I'm with him on most missions, I'd know."

What about The Charlatan?

"Ryder leaves all doe-eyed when we stop at Kadara and he comes back with a big stupid smile on his squishy human face. It's cute. What they have is different to what we have. But I don't feel threatened by it if that's what you're asking. We live on a ship together and we work together every day. I'm not the one that needs to be jealous

I do worry a little though. Ryder was really hurt after the thing with Sloane and I'm not sure we can trust the Charlatan. It's in the name. I don't know if he'll run that place any better than Sloane did, and if he doesn't, and things get bad, if we end up needing to put him down Ryder will do it. It would break his heart. I haven't seen Ryder cry yet and I really don't want to have to."

How do you feel about Jaal?

"He's an emotional sort of guy isn't he. He's nice but I'm not sure I'd choose to hang out with him if we weren't on a ship together. Last time I went to ask him a question he was naked, just walking around like it was totally normal. Maybe it is for Angara. I couldn't imagine Efvra doing it though."

You've had some disagreements with PeeBee?

"Yeah, at first. We have different perspectives. I'm a big sister who's always had to be responsible and she's a little sister that's pretty much had the freedom to make her own decisions. I like her though really, don't tell her, but I guess I'm a little jealous"

What has it been like living amongst humans?

"You mean with a human majority? Well it's been that way for a long time for me. Or at least not a Turian majority. It's the same. Humans have all the same political bullshit and petty fights, feels like home. I can't eat a lot of their food though, so variety isn't great."

Do you miss your sister when you're away?

"Well she's old enough now that she kind of needs the space. She's safe on the nexus, but I do worry, especially if I'm on a dangerous mission. I worry who will take care of her if something happens to me."

What is the most exhilarating?

"Ryder's driving. *Vetra laughs* He's a good driver but he goes fast, he takes corners and isn't afraid to go off road. It's fun, scary, but fun."

Nakmor Drack

You're the oldest on the crew, do you ever feel like you're babysitting?

"It's not just the crew. I'm always babysitting these days. They can hold their own though."

Are you ever scared on missions?

"Fighting comes naturally to a Krogan. It's the nomad I worry about. Ryder's a terrible driver. He'll drive straight up a sheer cliff face if it's in his way. I can respect that but I'd rather not be in the vehicle."

Who are you closest with on the crew?

"Vetra is a good friend. We work well together. She's sensible."

You know about The Charlatan, do you worry that Ryder is going to hurt her?

"Vetra's a grown up, she can handle herself. Anyway, Krogan's don't have the luxury of monogamy. Why should we expect it of anyone else."

What do you miss about the Milky Way?

"Varren. The only companion you can trust in your old age. We couldn't bring them with us, pestilential species, destructive, like us I suppose. Still, there are some commendable alternatives here."

What compelled the krogan to come out here?

"Ha! Have you been to Tuchunka? Best leave that world to the pyjaks and start fresh. Krogan have a long history of screwing things up. Sure we've been manipulated and kicked in the dirt by every species there is but it's our own nature we need to leave behind."

Ryder

So, what's it like being pathfinder?

"Oh it's great! You get to make all the important decisions, get shot at, there's no dental  out here but you find all kinds of interesting medicine on Kadara. *He winks* I'll take what I can get.

But really, it's hard. You might have noticed, I'm not the serious type. I don't speak politician and I don't compromise on my values. Maybe that will get me in trouble, but I can't be fake like that. Im hoping it will let people know I'm honest, and I'm real. I can make mistakes like everyone, but I'm doing my best."

How do you feel about your dad leaving it to you?

"Yeah, that was a shock. I wasn't ready for it and I was kind of angry. There's this sense I get from people, certain people especially, that it's just nepotism. But dad wasn't sentimental like that and he was always big on working for something yourself. Sometimes I wonder if it was regret though. I know he started to realise that he'd missed Sara and my growing up. I do wish I'd had the chance to really get to know him. Maybe there's a bit of bitterness there. But I'm not sure he would have taken the time until it was life or death.

I know why he didn't pick Cora though, doesn't take much talking to her to work that out. I wish she could see it. She's not ready."

You say the Angara are allies, but what do they really think of us?

"You'd have to ask them that. Same as us I guess. They're cautious, which is fair. But they've been really welcoming. I think they're a pretty generous species over all."

So what do you think of the Angara as people?

"I like them. They're straightforward. They wear their emotions on their sleeves which is something I can get behind. I think Dad would be too formal for them. They tend to respond better when you're open with them. They do seem kind of conservative otherwise though."

Do you agree with Tan, Addison and Kesh.

"I usually agree with Kesh."

How's your relationship with Vetra Nyx?

"Solid. She's the kind of person you want to curl up in front of the vids with, or take out in low grav in the nomad for some crater hopping. She's a real relationship person, mature you know? She had to grow up fast. I can respect that. If we were in the Milky Way, I'd love to take her hiking through some national parks back on earth. A real holiday. She'd be better at all that than me, but I think I'd enjoy that."

You and the Charlatan?

"You're not supposed to know about that."

The whole galaxy knows about that.

"Shit. *Rider sighs good naturedly* He's smooth. I like a guy who can flirt back without getting flustered or taking it all too seriously. He's not intimidated by the title and he doesn't get all tangled between business and personal. We could probably be working against each other and still be lovers. *Ryder laughs* He ticks a lot of boxes as far as my boyhood fantasies go. But we genuinely get along and I think we have a good connection that's not entirely physical."

Do you trust him?

*Ryder pauses to lean back in his chair* "He really hurt me, and that's slowed things down a bit. I don't want to think about it, I'm trying to keep it light. The thing is, I expected untruths. I knew he wasn't telling me everything. I even suspected he was the Charlatan early on. But I asked him and he told me no, right to my face. We'd already started to get close and it seemed like he was opening up to me. I just thought he would avoid the truth, not lie directly. You know, when someone asks 'did you eat my blast-o's?' And you say 'I didn't have breakfast this morning' because they'll think you're saying you didn't but actually you ate them last night for dessert. I understand him not telling me, but he's very comfortable with lying directly. That does make me uneasy."

Is there anyone on your crew that you don't like?

"I wouldn't say that. I do tend to avoid Cora. She just makes me uncomfortable. I don't know her well. But she's always talking about my dad. People do that a lot. If he's so great maybe I'd have known him well enough to see that myself. But I can't say that because he died for me. People have told me that and they get angry at me. Really, like I don't know. But he was my dad and just because someone loves you, and even if they make some big gesture at the end like that, it doesn't change the past. You can't treat someone like a stranger for their whole life and then expect them to connect with you.

Gil is a bit much for me too. I chatted to him when I first got on the ship, flirted with him. I flirted with everyone. But, ah, he came on a little strong and not with any real confidence. He's a bit pig headed when it comes to the ship too. He's good at what he does, but it's a complex ship. Kallo knows what tweaks will interfere with other systems. There would be a lot less time wasted and far fewer mistakes if the two of them would communicate.

In saying that, I'd fight side by side with any of them. They're my team. It's my job, and my duty, but it's also my pleasure."

Thanks for answering our questions today.

Ryder: My pleasure.

Nakmor Drack: Don't mention it.

Vetra Nyx: Okay.

The Charlatan: Always a pleasure.

[5hfanfiction]

Only Words Bleed (Chapter Six)

Camila’s POV

“Wait…what?”

I now sat straight, disbelieving that I had finally admitted what I felt. I smiled vaguely and gave Dinah a minute to let it all sink in.

“What do you mean ‘he’s not Lauren’?”

“I literally mean that Connor is not Lauren.”

“Oh my god, Mila! You like Lauren?”

“Sssshhh…don’t let the world hear you. Quiet.”

“How can I remain silent when my best friend finally likes a person?! I better call the Vatican cause this shit is important,” she shouted while standing up.

“I need to tell Mani and Ally…they’ll be stoked.”

“What?! Hey - no. I’m not ready to tell anyone.”

“You told me.”

“Well, yeah cause you forced it out of me.”

“Mila, this is huge!”

I shrugged. “Maybe…but don’t get too happy about it.”

Dinah frowned. “How do you not exp- ”

“Lauren’s dating Connor, Dinah. She’s very happy.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Uh, yes I do. She told me herself.”

“What did she say exactly?”

My mind began to remember. “Um, she said that she didn’t wanna label herself as his "girlfriend” just yet but when she’s around him she feels happy.“

Dinah seemed to be considering the information. "So they’re not really dating?”

“No. But that doesn’t mean I can just swoop in and steal his girl.”

“Lauren’s not anybody’s girl. Yet. If you don’t do anything, and fast, Connor will.”

“I know you’re right. But I just can’t bring myself to say anything. I literally lose my cool when she talks or when we’re together.”

“Aaaaw, lovesick Camila is back. I’ve missed her.”

Dinah sat down on the bed. “So. Tell me how it started.” Dinah requested.

Sighing, I said, “Well, I don’t really know. I’ve been having these feelings for a really long time but I think last night, when we were together, my heart kinda confirmed it.”

Dinah nudged my shoulder. “What happened last night?”

“Nothing. We were just talking about my favourite book and just hearing her talk made me happy. And then I realised why.”

Dinah smiled. “What are you gonna do?”

“I really don’t know. If I tell her it could potentially ruin our friendship. If I don’t I’ll die.” Camila shrugged.

“Well then, let’s go get your girl.”

“How do you mean?”

“We’re gonna hang out. The five of us. I wanna see if there’s any chemistry or 'sparks’.”

“What - now?”

“No, in 2020. Yes, now!” Dinah pulled her from the bed and walked her over to the door.

“Ugh, fine. But we’re getting pizza.”

Dinah trudged while I stopped in the doorway. Dinah asked her what I was doing. “I’m texting her.” The blush was evident on my cheeks.

C: HEY! dinah has called an emergency hangout…come to the pizza place(:

L: hallo! why am i not surprised lemma say goodbye to connor and ill be there

Annoyingly, I frowned at the text and showed it to Dinah. Dinah also gave an apologetic smile.

C: kay dont be late like you often are

L: excuse me? ill have you know im very puntual

C: hmm see why dont i believe you

L: im on my way to shut you up

C: ooh so scared mom help

And we were off, arms linking and laughter echoing.

-

We sat at our usual booth, Dinah making sure no one sat next to me. I rolled eyes at her, scared that the way she was acting was a bit too obvious. Normani and Ally were busy conversing while Dinah kept looking at the door.

As Lauren came in, Dinah nodded to me and made space for her. “Took you long enough,” Dinah stated.

“Yeah, sorry I was with Connor,” Lauren said while sighing. Dinah and I exchanged a look.

“You know I’ve been wondering…”

“Wait, so Dinah Jane thinks now, too?” Normani joked. “Lord the apocalypse is upon us.” This caused everyone at the table to giggle, Ally especially.

“Shut up, Mani. Anyways, Lauren. What’s going on with Connor?”

“What do you mean?”

Before Dinah could respond Ally started humming: “What do you mean? Oh oh…when you nod your head yes but you wanna say no…”

“Excuse my friend Ally, she’s very theatrical,” Normani laughed.

“Oh, I can tell,” Lauren smiled before continuing, “Connor and I are not dating. Pretty sure Camz told you. We’re just, uh, seeing things as they are.”

“Camz?” Dinah questioned.

I  rolled my eyes again. “Yeah, Camila…Camz. Pretty similar, no?” Lauren admitted.

Dinah nodded. “Interesting.”

“Okaaay! Why don’t we order, huh?” I intervened.

“Yes please, I’m starving!” Ally chimed, signalling a waiter.

-

After eating, all of us headed back to Normani’s house. We had reached and were standing on the patio. Lauren turned to me with an exasperated sigh. “Your friends are hard to keep up.”

“Yeah, they are aren’t they?”

She smiled. “Well, I have to go now. Parents have their anniversary and Taylor and Chris are bugging me to come early.”

“Why?”

“We’re planning a romantic night for them. It’s a bit too extra if you ask me because they’re already out on a romantic dinner.”

“Aw that’s cute. I’ll see you later, then?”

“Yeah, definitely.”

As Lauren went off, I walked inside to the room where all three girls were in.

-

Narrative

The next day, after her parents’ dinner, Lauren went over to Connor’s house. He had invited her to 'hang out’ but Lauren felt nervous nevertheless. She always felt nervous around people. She wasn’t proud of it.

“Hey!” Connor greeted her with a kiss.

“Heyy,” she said and sat down. “Playing Call Of Duty as usual?”

“Ah, you know the drill. I have to complete at least one mission daily.”

“Right. So what am I going to do?”

“Oh, silly. I’m not going to play now. I’ll play it later.”

“That’s…very considerate of you.”

“Well, I am a very considerate guy.” Connor brought her into a kiss. In a short while Connor had Lauren lying on the bed, biting her neck vigorously.

“Connor, stop.”

“Oh, come on Lauren.”

“Please- I, I can’t.”

“We’ve been going out for a while now. It’s time.”

Lauren pushed him off of her. “You can’t decide when it’s time. I told you I’m not ready.”

“Still?”

“This isn’t something that you can do on a deadline, you know. I need time.”

“I gave you time. It makes me nervous that it’s taking you long.”

“What? Why?”

“Cause I fear you don’t like me enough.”

“That’s not true and you know it. I just need more time.”

“Stop saying that. It’s not helping.”

“Well then, what will?”

“Look, Lauren. I want to be with you. If you don’t then just say so.”

“I do.”

“Really? I can’t see any effort.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know how to show my effort.”

“Either you are my girlfriend or not.”

“That’s it, then? No in-between?”

“No.”

And with that Lauren took her cue to leave. She tried hard not to let tears fall but she had just experienced her first 'heartbreak’.  How could she not cry? She took to her safe haven, wanting to find some solace - that is, the library.

Camila’s POV

As usual I was sitting in the library. The girls had gone home after a while but I headed back here to read a bit. I was in my spot, reading 'The Book Thief’. There was a quote that struck to me like the waves of an ocean: “My heart is so tired.” Its so simple but equally powerful. All of a sudden I heard a voice; it startled me but when I looked to see who it was I smiled.

“At least someone’s in a happy mood.”

“What can I say? This place makes me happy.” I said while Lauren sat down next to me.

“Cool. It makes me happy, too.”

“But you’re not happy now, are you?”

“Not really..,” she sighed.

“What happened?” I gazed at her face trying to read her expression. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Connor and I 'broke up’. I mean we weren’t dating but like, it’s totally off now.”

I tried not to show my pleasure. I’m not sure if it worked. “Oh, Lauren I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s literally nothing.”

“You’re hurting. It’s something.”

“I guess because it’s the first time this has happened to me. I’ve never been with anyone before.”

“I understand.”

We sat there in silence for a while. As I continued reading I felt a head on my shoulder. I looked up to see Lauren resting; she was crying. I could feel her tears. “Hey, hey. Lauren.”

I stroked her hair, hoping to calm her. “It’s okay. Don’t worry,” I held her face in my hands. “It’s going to be okay.”

“I just- I don’t know what to feel.”

“You’re not supposed to feel anything. Just forget it. You’re going to be okay. I’m here.”

“So tell me what happened.” I said gently, after she stopped sobbing.

She cleared her throat as I lifted the book from the floor. “Basically I went to his house cause he said he wanted to hang out. We talked and he kissed me,” Lauren explained.

“But then it got serious so I told him that I wasn’t ready yet. In short, he gave me an ultimatum: either I be his girlfriend or I leave.”

My heart shook at the admission. “So you left.”

“Yeah, I left. What else could I do?”

“You did the right thing. You shouldn’t rush into this. It doesn’t require a deadline; it needs a lot of time, you know.”

“Exactly what I said.”

“How do you feel?”

“Well, not great. But better, I guess.”

I smiled. “Because of you,” Lauren said truthfully.

“You know I’ve realized that ever since we became friends my life has gotten bigger. In, like, terms of everything. I mean I made new friends, I had enough courage to talk to a boy and I finally found a mutual. You know what I mean?”

“Oh, stop it Lauren. That was all you.”

“Maybe. But I just want to say thank you.”

“Well, you’re welcome.”

“Oh my god you’re reading my favorite book. What part are you on?”

I looked down at the neatly placed book between my legs and remembered that I was, in fact reading. I cleared my throat. “Yeah! I’m at that part where the Mayor’s wife lets her into her library.”

“Ooh that’s where things get interesting.”

“Shut up, don’t ruin it for me.”

“I won’t, I won’t. I get how you feel.”

“Do you?”

“Totally. I remember once I was reading Allegiant and I was almost finished, right?”

I nodded. “And then my stupid friend so very selfishly told me that Tris dies in the end.”

“Hey! Spoiler alert.”

“Oops, sorry. I didn’t know okay?”

“Yeah-yeah.”

“So are you gonna go home soon?” I asked.

“Um, in a while. I just want to get some reading done.”

“Oh. Well I should go now. My mom’s probably freaking out.”

Lauren nodded in understanding. “See you tomorrow, Camz,” she said as I stood.

“Bye, Lauren,” I returned.

As I was walking away Lauren spoke, “Hey, Camila?” I faced her.

“Thank you.”

I was shocked. I started walking towards her while saying, “For what?”

Having sat back down, Lauren muttered,“For being there. For me.”

“Yeah, of course,” I smiled. “You’re welcome.”

“And thank you too.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Me? What for?”

“For becoming my friend. For coming into my life because it’s become better with you in it.”

I brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and gently stroked her cheek. I could feel her shivering at the touch but I kept my hold strong.

“I think I should say the same.”

I stared into her beautiful, spellbinding green eyes and she looked politely at mine. Seeing her in the dark made me lose all my conscious as I had no idea what propelled me to lean in. I closed my eyes when I watched her shut hers. There seemed be such a little distance between us but it still felt like a thousand miles apart. In a gentle touch my lips met hers and I pulled her in. I didn’t want to come out too fierce or forceful so I kissed her as slowly and as gracefully as I could. She hesitated at first but gave in nevertheless.

Her lips felt so perfect against mine. I felt her hand moving to grasp my neck for support and my hands moved down to her waist. Our bodies were attached to the bookshelf behind us; our hips and abdomens were in soft contact. I tried to pick up the pace and realized that Lauren was giving me full access to do so. I humbly put my tongue in her mouth and bit her bottom lip. I couldn’t help but hear a small moan from her. I was shocked to feel her biting my own lips after I granted her access.

I was enchanted. I didn’t know that there was heaven on earth. Was there? I didn’t want to think much and all I wanted was to continue kissing this beautiful girl in front of me. My conscious told me to stop immediately but my heart and my lips ached for more…

I started pulling away. “Uhm, I-I’m sorry.” I said completely out of breath.

Lauren hadn’t fully recovered from this too as I sensed her breathlessness. “No, I’m sorry.”

“I shouldn’t have done that,” I shrieked as I forced my body to stand up.

“No, no it’s okay. I’m sorry too,” Lauren had stood up now too.

I shrugged in panic. As I was about to respond I heard my phone ring. It was my mom. “Yeah, yeah I’m almost there.” I looked at Lauren. She looked so elegant and as much I as didn’t want to, I had to return home. “I’m sorry - that was my mom. I have to be home.”

I saw her nodding right away and I offered a sweet, I’m-sorry-I-kissed-you-out-of-nowhere-but-I-wanted-to smile and walked in the opposite direction. I heard her say, “It’s okay. I’m sorry.”

“Bye, Lauren,” I chipped and exited the door.

During the way my head was running a million miles. Had I really done that? If so, when the hell did I become so confident in doing that? Maybe because it’s Lauren, I thought. It felt…enchanting, I repeated this feeling in my head as I carried on. 

A/n: finally tho! The story is progressing…I have a lot of stuff on my mind so stay tuned, loves! I hope you’re liking it so far because I honestly have nooo idea…would definitely appreciate feedback(:

The recent events have everyone depressed and shook. We’re all hurting right now and it’s taken a toll on us. I’ve been a fan for quite some time now and I just want to say that it will take time. I started this story as an interest which is why I will keep writing for as long as I want to because if you enjoy it, what’s the harm, right? Take care and Happy New Year!

[alo-piss-trancy]

Are there any sdr2 characters that you don’t like or just aren’t very interested in?

BIG SPOILER WARNING FOR SDR2 BELOW! DO NOT READ THIS POST IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED THE GAME!

It's actually neat getting this question because I can see where some characters I used to dislike/find annoying in the beginning have worked their way up. For example, I initially despised Te/ruTeru, but after his backstory reveal I ended up feeling some sympathy for him and realized despite some traits, he wasn't entirely a bad guy (and I'm assuming his social link will endear him to me a little once I get around to it in island mode).

In fact, I can only really think of two I actively dislike/hate now: Nag/ito and Hiy/oko.

Real quick: Obviously these are all solely my opinions! I have no problem with my followers viewing characters differently, so even if you're the biggest fan of these chars I hope y'all know you're always welcome on my blog! 💛 Feel free to ramble in my inbox about them or chatter about omo, I genuinely enjoy discussing things or seeing different hcs even if I don't share them and I love seeing people be passionate about whatever makes them happy! Heck, sometimes fan ideas even end up changing my mind or at least make fun aus!

Now back to the question:

Hiy/oko's behavior in many instances was just appalling, and the way she cared about Mah/iru, while sad/sweet, still couldn't make up for all of her other bullshit. I can't stand little snots and I don't like 'loli' characters, so she's basically a 2-for-1 special on tropes I find irritating. Also high pitched voices are grating on my ears. After finishing the game I still stand by my original sentiment: Good Riddance Bitch. She will not be missed. As a note, I haven't done her FTEs yet so maybe it'll change, but I think it's pretty unlikely.

Na/gito is just. Idk where to start with him tbh. He definitely serves his role in the plot well, has great interactions with the rest of the cast, and really made me feel like I was struggling and he was so smugly one step ahead. I appreciate him as part of the story and it wouldn't be the same without him (Some of the memes about him are also really funny lmao). That being said, as far as his character and my personal tastes go, I fucking hate him lmao. Not 'villain I love to hate'. I just can't stand him and am lowkey annoyed at how popular/'woobified' he is in some parts of the fandom. My feelings on him are pretty similar to Ak/echi from p/5, except at least Ake/chi was understandable, whereas every time Nag/ito goes on a long spiel I'm just braindead and confused lmao. That or annoyed because he repeats himself like 30 times. I really thought doing his FTE's would endear him to me a little but it actually just made me dislike him more. He's just... he goes 120% ALL THE TIME and he's all over the place, it was overwhelming and gave me whiplash. Also while I do feel bad for him and the clear issues he had, the CONSTANT 'I'm worthless trash please kill me haha I don't deserve your kindness' talk really got on my nerves. Maybe it wouldn't have bothered me so much if I played the game back in the year it came out? But in this day and age all it reminded me of was certain 'Crabs in a Bucket' people I've known or witnessed who formed their entire identity around self-hatred and desperately tried to drag others down with them. (Note: I'm not talking about the general struggles with depression, etc. here. But I don't want to go into a lecture on exactly what I mean so I'll just leave it at that.) Nag/ito's not entirely the same thing and I get that, but it just rubbed me the wrong way because of that association.

Overall I just find him obnoxious and tend to avoid stuff that focuses on him. I might try writing a short omo thing about him being tied up because, like, how could I not? But besides that don't expect much from me. All of that said, I don't mind other people talking about him and y'all are free to send me asks with your own opinions or hcs, I might give my own occasionally. And I do like seeing art sometimes.

Also though, I ship him hard with Ju/nko (and in a poly with her and Mik/an). I'm also interested in him x Chi/aki since they're yin/yang parallels and have some similarities in design and the art of them together is neat. Not sure how much I ship them as far as actual canon or writing goes, but aesthetically it's pretty neat.

I think it's also worth mentioning that Ka/zuichi So/da toes a real weird line for me. Not in the sense that I actually hate him (his design is neat and he can be likeable at times), but that I hate what the game did with him. Which was not doing ANYTHING with him. His character had a lot of potential to be interesting, but they never let him break past the two running gags: Being confused about EVERYTHING, and obsessing over So/nia (to the point about making multiple sex jokes/getting flustered over her during the middle of the most serious trial in the game (Na/gito's death), which makes no sense even for him and completely ruined the mood). Every other survivor had important spotlight moments in the plot, developed their character as they went, and formed meaningful relationships with at least one other character to drive them forwards/give them angst. Kaz/uichi had none of that and I can't think of a single instance where he ACTUALLY had bearing on the plot, positively or negatively. He's basically the Fortune Teller Guy of this game: completely useless and ignored unless he needs to question something for exposition or drag the protag somewhere, scraping by only because he isn't hated or liked enough by anyone to get murdered and is too scared to kill. He didn't survive because he was genuinely fighting/had the ability to, but because everyone just forgot about him and left him alone.

A lot of his issues could have been fixed by just having a point in the game where he learns to treat So/nia as a person instead of being so obnoxious about following her around (he dislikes Ter/uTeru but then pretty much is just as annoying, only difference is he's a little less immoral and more just unable to take hints). Haj/ime even pointed this out in the last chapter with his thoughts of 'Dude just take a hint already'. If the game put them on more equal footing and he like, actually got to know her, it would've been way easier to believe he was fighting FOR So/nia in the same way all the others were fighting for someone they loved, and he might have actually done more throughout the game. He might have had some actual development and maturity, but instead he's pretty much the exact same person he was at the start of the game (I don't remember them even really touching on how he felt about the final chapter's Big Reveal). Because his obsession and cluelessness was one of his defining traits, they never let him do anything besides that. I spent most of the game convinced he was going to get a case in a trial or big moment eventually since they kept giving him so much screentime and let him make it so far, but there was just nothing. He's just a giant mass of wasted potential and for that reason I struggle to enjoy him without getting irritated.

Quick note to clarify: I'm not hating on him because of the ship with So/nia or because he 'gets in the way' of Gun/dham. I honestly don't mind that, the problem is just the lack of development I mentioned above. I could def enjoy the ship or a love triangle if they gave him smth. (And I realize part of that was the point, that G/undham 'gets the girl' bc he actually respected and talked to her, but still. The chapters after that point would have been the perfect time to let So/da have some viewpoint shifts and make efforts to change but they didn't).

Actually tbh even if they wanted to keep his obsession, I would've been fine with that, IF they had given him some other plot/character besides that. Like if he had some important tasks to do and was pretty good at them, but they also turned it into a flaw where he would prioritize helping/following her sometimes over what he was supposed to do and caused problems as a result, that could have been interesting. Creating tension within the surviving group or having her get mad at him over it, just SOMETHING.