#they’re freaks your honor

[gothicwill]

Iwtv has the cast of all time. Like you’ll read the script for a scene and it’ll be like “they hold hands here :)” then you watch said scene and Jacob Anderson has Sam Reid’s fingers in his mouth

[futuremrscameron]

kook!jj and rafe allegedly share girls (and some boys)

[helianthus21]

Armand and Daniel whispering "sweet nothings" to each other but the sweet nothings are Daniel saying he wants Armand to hang him up with hooks in his pecs or stick hot sharp needles in him or whatever and Armand nodding along already calculating in his head the logistics of it

[amnevitahwritesstuff]

Azriel feeds bad people to his bloodthirsty dryad girlfriend. 

Fandom: A Court of Thorns and Roses

Pairing: Azriel/Elain

Rating: Explicit

Triggers: Murder, Creepy Tree Shit

Chapters: One-Shot

AO3 Link

It’s that time again! Spooky fics for Spooky Season! 🌳🎃

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Blood at the Roots

Jim was tired. 

It had been an exhausting day at work and all he had wanted by the end of it was to take a walk by the playground and then order some takeout. But no. No. Instead that bitch Monica in HR had to go and harass him about his ‘behavior’ with the new girl. 

“Is any of this true?” Monica had asked with pursed lips. 

“Of course not!” Jim had lied. “I don’t even know why she would say something like that!”

As if he would ever be interested in a dumb little slut like Nikki. He had just been trying to be friendly! But he had barely spoken to her before she started telling everyone he ‘gave her the creeps’. Fucking bitch. 

Whatever. 

She was too old for him anyway. 

He checked his phone as he wandered toward his car (of fucking course he was the only one left in the lot) and swore as he saw the time. Shit. All the kids would be going in for dinner by now. He’d be lucky if any of them were still hanging around the playground this late. 

Quickly, he unlocked the door and ducked inside. If he was quick, he might- 

He didn’t even notice he wasn’t alone until he felt the wet rag clamp over his mouth and nose. He never even managed to scream before the drug knocked him out cold. 

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Jim hit the cold ground and awoke with a jolt. 

It took several long moments for him to wrangle his thoughts into any sort of coherency. 

“What the hell?” He said. Or, at least, that was what he tried to say. In reality all he managed to get out was a slurred “Whaaaaa?”

Blearily, Jim attempted to take stock of his strange new surroundings. Had he been…drugged? The last thing he remembered was…something about Monica from work? He couldn’t be sure though. His thoughts felt like they were fighting through a head full of cotton…only to then be tossed into a blender. 

An icy breeze washed over him and he shivered. Where was his jacket? He glanced around for it only to notice the dark trees surrounding him, their barren limbs stretching into the night sky. 

All except one. 

There, standing tall and proud before him, was a tree that towered over all the others. It looked old. Very old. The longer he looked at it though, the more Jim realized that there was something…off about it. 

And then it hit him. 

It still had leaves. 

He whipped his head back towards the other trees and, nope, they were all still barren. And yet, for some bizarre reason…this tree wasn’t. In fact, it looked for all the world as if it were enjoying a pleasant summer evening rather than a blisteringly cold October night. Jim stared up at its verdant green leaves with confusion. 

Until he very suddenly realized he wasn’t alone. 

There, at the base of the tree, stood two strangers. A man and a woman. 

The man was young and dressed all in black. A stark contrast to the woman besides him. 

She was naked. That was the first thing he noticed about her. How could he not? And she was beautiful…but in a strange way. An uncanny way. Her limbs were too spindly. Her eyes were too large and watchful. She seemed less a creature of flesh and bone than some confusing imitation of one. 

And yet for all her disorientating beauty and nudity…he couldn’t stop staring at her feet. Honestly, it took him a frankly embarrassing amount of time to realize why.  

Her feet were covered in a confused tangle of roots. As if she had been standing there for so very long that the tree had simply decided to grow up around her…except, her realized eventually, with a sickening lurch, those roots were her feet. 

She was a part of the tree. 

He looked back up and saw her staring back at him with those luminous, unblinking eyes of hers. They seemed almost to glow in the darkness. Boring down into him like tree roots. 

He suddenly felt…trapped. 

He realized then, with dawning horror, that this was a predator. She didn’t look nearly human because she was one…but because those were her preferred victims. 

She was a Venus Fly Trap. 

And he, the unwitting fly. 

As soon as that thought entered his mind he was begging. 

“Please!”

The tree-woman gazed down at him serenely. Her companion didn’t even acknowledge him, too busy staring at her bizarrely sweet face. 

“Please?” She tilted her head the way a bird did. They were the first words she had spoken aloud since he’d awoken. Her voice was…strange. As if having a tongue was still a new experience for her. 

“Please don’t kill me!”

The woman…giggled. 

She fucking giggled. 

“Oh I’m not going to kill you!” She laughed. 

He froze. 

“Really?!”

“No, silly!”

For a moment he felt such immeasurable relief that he almost didn’t hear the second part of her declaration.

“He’s going to kill you!” She gestured to her grim companion. “I’m just going to eat you.”

There was no time to run. Not even time to scream. In half a second the man was behind him and yanking his head back by the hair. 

Jim felt only the bite of something cold and sharp drag across his throat. It was so fast that all he could do was marvel over the fact that he didn’t feel any pain. He tried to say ‘No’ but his voice didn’t seem to work. Instead all that came out was a wet, bubbling gasp. And then, without warning, a boot pressed between his shoulder blades and shoved him to the ground. 

Helplessly, he watched as his own lifeblood pooled around him and soaked into the frozen ground. Into the tree roots. Her roots. 

The tree-woman gave a deep, hearty sigh. The way one would after taking a long pull of water on a hot summer’s day. 

“Ah,” she moaned happily. “You always bring me the most delicious morsels.” 

“Of course,” the man replied. It was the first time Jim had ever heard him speak. He had such a soft voice for someone so menacing. “I’m only sorry I made you wait so long. I had to be sure.” 

“Sure?” The tree-woman giggled. 

“That he deserved this.”

“Ah, yes. And what did this one do?”

The man’s voice turned cold. 

“He hurt children.” 

Jim knew then he would die here. That he already was dying. That this was his punishment for everything he had ever done. 

He moaned pitifully. 

“Well, whatever he did,” the tree-woman giggled. “He tastes delicious.”

Above them, the tree grew. 

[chicagofires]

hopefully tonight we get to add a scene to the collection of stellaride anywhere but a bed

[hannibal-lectotype]

“They sound like they’ve been trained on therapy talk.”

Yeah, well joke’s on you because both of the characters literally have been. The only reason this isn’t realistic is because they would never willingly discuss their feelings without seven layers of metaphor.

[unblissfulawareness]

I have to know what happened between these episodes for Schwoz’s reactions to spankings to change so dramatically 👀

[doveskarma]

they match each others freak

[teafaellana]

[corpusdiem-seizethedead]

Husk: I need to burn calories

Angel: Y’know, kissing burns calories…

Husk: So does mercilessly beating the living shit out of people I hate.

[ladywashingtonslightdragoons]

What if instead of the Founding Fathers they were the 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 Fathers and they were exactly the same

[cablepowerhouse]

Remaking this post because it contained spoilers for Dragons rising S2P2

Anyway LOOK AT THEM

[merakiui]

me trying to explain jade and reader’s dynamic in tmdg:

[shannonsketches]

not that it’s a competition but fwiw freeza’s been to earth five times now and, not only has (Toriyama’s) Vegeta never yelled at Bulma for being present, she’s personally chauffeured him and Goku to the battefield.

5 out of 5 times he’s either just stood between her and Freeza or hung out with her when it wasn’t his turn to fight.

That man really said “What? We like watching each other work. 💅”

[winchester101]

*holds gently*

More mers here

[rogloptimist]

EVERYONE WAKE UP it’s joshy dayyyy