#they’re endearing when they want to be and terrifying when they need to be

[world-of-puppets]

I have conflicted feelings about the FNAF series in general, but seeing a movie where practical animatronic puppets are the primary focus of the film becoming not only financially successful but also well received by general audiences is pretty damn neat.

[iamgonnagetyouback]

I need some Barry crouch x reader hcs!!!

headcanons for barty crouch jr x reader

✧ Barty's tough exterior melts a bit when he's with you.

✧ Although he’s far from “cuddly,” he has his unique ways of showing affection, like brushing your hair back when you’re distracted or tracing your features as you sleep.

✧ Barty’s not one for sweet words, but his actions speak volumes.

✧ He’ll get you your favorite snacks or bring you small trinkets he found while out (which may or may not look slightly ominous) because he thought of you.

✧ Barty might act like he doesn’t care about anyone, but he’s fiercely protective of you.

✧ Even in mundane settings, he’ll shoot anyone who looks at you wrong a glare that practically screams, “try me.”

✧ Barty has a dark sense of humor that only you truly understand.

✧ He’ll make some snide comment about a “light curse” on that annoying person who cut you off, and you’re caught between laughing and wondering if he’s serious.

✧ Expect a list of names only he can call you that would sound terrifying coming from anyone else.

✧ "My little accomplice" or "favorite sinner" are all meant with an oddly fond glint in his eye.

✧ Barty has a twisted sense of what qualifies as a "prank."

✧ He’ll hide your wand and act innocent, or cast a temporary charm to give you a slight shiver whenever you say a particular word.

✧ The fact that he finds these things hilarious somehow makes them even more endearing.

✧ Barty has zero interest in keeping things “normal.”

✧ He’ll whisk you away to strange places or suddenly decide that he wants to dance with you in a forbidden part of Hogwarts, laughing wildly as you try to shush him.

✧ Arguments are intense with Barty but often end up with some kind of wicked banter. "I would gladly hex you right now," he’ll say, and you’ll counter, “As if you’d survive a day without me.” He grins in response, all too delighted by your bite.

✧ He’ll make a big deal about not being “soft,” but then you’ll catch him resting his hand on your back protectively in a crowd or casting discreet protective charms on you.

✧ Barty opens up during the witching hours, sharing bits of his past and fears.

✧ His walls come down, and he’ll even reveal the vulnerabilities he rarely lets surface, confessing his struggles while holding you close as if you’re his lifeline.

✧ As restless as Barty is, he finds peace lying next to you, though he’ll grumble about it if you ever bring it up.

✧ He likes to keep a hand on you while you sleep, subtly ensuring you're there without having to admit he needs the reassurance.

✧ Dating Barty means being the only person he truly lets into his life, creating a bond that’s almost unbreakable.

✧ He’d go to terrifying lengths for you, making you feel like the center of his world, albeit in his own darkly intense way.

some convos that might arise while dating barty

BARTY: *glares at someone looking at you wrong* “Do you want me to handle that, or should I just wait until they’re not looking?” YOU: “Barty, no.” REGULUS: *muttering* “Honestly, let him. It’ll be quick.” YOU: “You’re not helping, Reg.”

YOU: “So, are you a morning person?” BARTY: “Only if by morning person you mean a creature of darkness slowly acclimating to daylight.” PANDORA: *snickering* “At least he’s honest.” YOU: “That… is more fitting than I expected.”

YOU: *quietly* “Barty, sometimes it feels like you’re just… not here.” BARTY: *pauses* “I know. I’m trying. I promise.” BARTY: *sighs, taking your hand* “You’re the only thing keeping me from going too far.”

BARTY: “If anything happens to you, I’ll bring the whole world down.” REGULUS: *chuckling* “That’s rich, coming from the guy who can barely commit to a daily schedule.” YOU: *rolling your eyes* “Thanks for the reassurance, Barty. Not ominous at all.” BARTY: “I’m serious!” EVAN: *snorts* “Yes, and you’re also a menace, so there’s that.”

YOU: “You have to admit you like being with me.” BARTY: *grins* “Like? Oh, I’m far past ‘like.’” PANDORA: *smirking* “I think what he’s trying to say is that he’d hex anyone who dares come between you.” YOU: “Great. Love in true Barty fashion.” BARTY: “I’d curse them with a smile.”

YOU: “Why do you always smirk when things get serious?” BARTY: “It’s either that or throw something.” PANDORA: “He really does throw things. Mostly at me.” BARTY: “Only when you’re too calm. I need someone on my level.” EVAN: *dryly* “Misery loves company, I suppose.” YOU: “You’re all impossible.”

BARTY: “Don’t go. I can handle whatever it is.” YOU: *raising an eyebrow* “Barty, it’s literally an event for flower arranging.” BARTY: “It could still be dangerous!” PANDORA: *snorts* “From the roses, or the daisies?” BARTY: “You know I don’t trust people. Especially around you.” YOU: “Don't worry, Barty.I’ll keep my eye out for sinister roses.”

YOU: “I think I bring out your softer side.” BARTY: “Let’s not spread rumors, love. I have a reputation to uphold.” EVAN: “What, of being intolerably prickly?” BARTY: *smiling* “Prickly enough to keep them away from her.” YOU: “You’re so charming.”

[dystopyx-blog]

as a Floyd enjoyer

I do read a LOT of octotrio posts.

Like a lot

so, as a yandere writer

time for yandere octotrio headcanons!

a lot of this will probably tie in for my ideas for my self insert and yandere posts I’ve written in the past!

it’s hard to say who was interested in you first. Either Azul was interested and sent the tweels on you, or the tweels were interested in you and then got azul interested and then azul sent the tweels on you, all I can say for certain is that at some point, someone is interested, and you get the tweels sent on you.

So you got the tweels following you around now. The two have different ways of studying. Floyd, of course, is more hands on. Jade typically stays back, taking EXTENSIVE mental notes. He mostly only gets involved when he can tell Floyd is getting a bit too… much for any one person to handle.

of course, then you have to deal with TWO tweels, and idc who you are, dealing with BOTH of them is way more to handle than just one of them. Like, one tweel is like 100%, but when those fuckers are working together it’s like at least 110%.

but… you seem to handle them really well somehow??

so whether it was Azul who was interested first, or they were interested from the very start, safe to say they are VERY interested in you now.

The tweels, despite being chaotic neutral at best (chaotic evil at worst) are still pretty goddamn loyal to Azul. So they eagerly report back to him (either to convince him or further convince him, again, doesn’t matter)

then this is where it gets really fun (for me)

I love the octotrio, and what I especially love is the mix of platonic and romantic. Like, ofc Floyd and Jade are purely familial. But when it comes to their relationship with Azul, it’s the kind of platonic that so fucking seamlessly shifts into romantic that no one is sure when it turned, and also no one cares. The octotrio blend so fucking seamlessly with each other, that they could even be purely platonic with each other, it could be less romance and more family, but an outsider would never fucking know or understand that. THE OCTOTRIO RELATIONSHIP/S ARE SO FUCKIN NOM NOM NOM I’M DEVOURING IT —

Ahem

anyway

point is, whether octotrio is a romantic poly or just three really fucking close friends, they all look at you and go “that one, we want that one.” And they don’t even have to vocally announce they want to share you, it is understood. There is no “all in favor say aye,” after a few times of the tweels reporting back to Azul they’re just all agreed “yes, this one is ours now, we are taking them for the seafood polycule.”

calamari, unagi, and shrimp, yum yum

ANYWAY

Expect the tweels on yo ass even more than before. Not only that, but they are FULLY embracing their statuses as fucking terrifying menaces to keep all your icky clingy friends away

Suddenly they’re paying extra close attention to your flaws. All of which they find endlessly endearing, what they’re really looking for is a chance to snap.

an insecurity, a life ending mistake, anything to get a chance to whisper in your ear that you need special help. Or maybe they’ll even use the fact they’re living up to their name and stick to you like leeches to convince you you need to talk to Azul

maybe you’re strong, maybe you can’t be fully convinced. Maybe once they do bring you to Azul (trust me, they will) you decide “nope, I’m out.” Thing is though, once they get you there, it’s already decided. Azul will know exactly how to trap you, exactly what to do to get you to come back, or even better, stay.

if you’re in Yuu’s shoes, I imagine he’d be willing to let you AND Grim live in the lounge. To make it less suspicious, he’ll probably say you have to work, or that he gets to use Ramshackle. Something to make sure you’re not suspicious why he’s suddenly so hospitable. But really, ramshackle or service are not what he’s after. Obviously. No, he needs you there, with them.

I don’t even really have to get into what these guys do as yanderes, since most students are already pretty frightened by the tweels. And now that they have someone to ‘protect’? HO BOI, do they REALLY give the student body to fear.

and if they get past Jade and Floyd, then there’s Azul, who will bribe or blackmail until they leave their darling alone.

yeah, sorry to say, once they have you in their sights, it’s pm over for you.

Doesn’t matter who saw you first, cuz you were doomed from the start either way.

GENERAL OCTOTRIO + READER HEADCANONS ❤️

Pleeeasassse I cannot get the image of octotrio dog pile outta my headdd. Azul, Jade, and Floyd are CUDDLY MOTHERFUCKERS, you cannot convince me otherwise. And once they have you, you’re joining. Typically Jade and Floyd both spoon Azul (you can’t convince me otherwise (or maybe you can, let’s talk)), and you’ll likely be sandwiched between Azul and whichever tweel called dibs that night. Or, it’s the true dog pile, where limbs are kind just all over the place. There’s typically a tweel at the bottom (cuz big bois), and that tweel is typically Jade because Floyd insists on being on top, despite his height and weight. And adding you just makes the dog pile feel so much fuller ❤️ (and if you’re one of those people like me who falls asleep better with like weight on top of you… yeah, you are not gonna be awake long enough to protest)

it may take a while for Azul to get comfortable enough to go full octomer on you, especially if you’re a darling who runs away, but once he does trust you enough, he will. And like… come on, I think we as a fandom agree that octo Azul is beautiful/adorable, so of course you do not react negatively to it, even if you’re a stubborn darling.

maybe you’re speechless, and Azul gets flustered and wants to ZOOM back to the surface, but the tweels hold him back, and thank god they do, because even if you aren’t screaming “omg you’re so cute/pretty!!” like I would, you probably mutter it under your breath, just loud enough that he definitely hears (did you know sound moves faster in water?) and he is a blushing cephaloboy. (Bet you didn’t think I’d bring SCIENCE into this, HA)

Suddenly now they’re also snuggling you in the water in med form, because yes these boys cuddle in med form, and you’re one of them now. Can’t breathe in water? Silly, they got magic for that. You are not getting out of this seafood pancake 🫵🫵

you are going to have so many limbs all over you omg. The tweels are trying their damndest to wrap their eel tails around the both of you, and Azul is keeping all of y’all together with his arms

(here’s another science fact, octopus do not have tentacles, those are arms)

AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE BREE—

[lisenberry]

Thinking about soap accidentally impregnating reader and how they’re both terrified but he’s secretly excited and just finding out he has a breeding kink

I haven't written for Soap yet, but I can already tell this ask has changed life. Thank you!

As you can guess, there's smut, pregnancy, and breeding kink. Oh my!

NSFW/MDNI

“Oh, shit, Johnny.”  Your moan turned into a whine as he hammered the gate of your cervix like a battering ram.  The pleasure-pain pressure of being rearranged had your thoughts reeling and your strength drained.

Slack-limbed and useless but for the sloppy wetness of your pussy, and the incoherent drabble of sounds seeping from your mouth. 

If the first orgasm he wrung from you with his fingers to your clit hadn’t knocked you senseless, the third one that he’d bullied from your g-spot with his cock alone had sent you to the afterlife. 

The lights were on, but no one was home.

“Just a wee bit more, mo chridhe.”  He always shifted into Gaelic when he was ready to come.  Mumbled sweet endearments as he reverted to some primal version of himself.  My love, my heart, my darling.  “Ya feel so perfect against me all bare like this.  I don’t want it to end.”

You had been seeing each other for a few months.  Nothing exclusive yet, but you’d gotten to know him enough to chance a fuck without the safety of a condom.  The thought of feeling every vein, every bump, and the slow drag of his bare skin had made you crazy.  It was worth a round of antibiotics to feel him come all hot and messy, and fill you up with his completion. 

He was leaving on a mission the next day, and you didn’t want to say goodbye not knowing what he felt like without the cool, unnatural glide of latex between you.

He’d gone wild when you told him, stripping you down before you even finished saying, “It’s okay, I’m on birth control.” 

You had no idea that he’d edge himself to the brink and draw it out for what seemed like hours.  You’d long since been able to clench around him, to give any resistance at all to his mindless barrage.

“You still with me, hen?”  There was a wicked smile on his lips as he slowed to a stop, tugging himself out fully, teetering just as he was about to finish.

For a split second you were afraid he was pulling out.  That he wasn’t going to give you what you needed. 

“No!  Please,” you screeched like a baby bird in protest, and found the strength to hook your legs around his waist.  Your fingers dug into his shoulders to bring him back down to you.

“Ah, I’m only teasing you, pet.  Look at you, so beautiful.  So needy.  So patient.  So good.”  Words and phrases broken by his panting breaths as he hitched himself back in.  “I’ll give you what you want.”

His big, blue, earnest eyes found yours, as you brought him into focus. Insatiable with lust. 

You thought he’d renew his attack on that deepest, tenderest part of you, but he found your g-spot again instead.  Your mind was gone, but your body had enough for one more, and he stole a final fiery blast from your haggard, overwrought nerves.

And he kept his promise, of course, filling you generously with his own burning release.

It was almost three months later, when he’d returned from the job in South America, that you built up the nerve to take a test.  To prove once and for all what you’d suspected all along. 

“My birth control is supposed to be 99.9999 percent effective.  How did this happen?”  You wanted to cry, as a pit of anxiety settled into your stomach at the news.

“My wee swimmers are one in a million, I guess.”  He crooked a lopsided grin as he nervously scratched the back of his head.

“I don’t think that’s how it works.” 

He was a genius at chemistry and physics, but he must’ve been busy daydreaming about blowing something up during reproductive biology.  You were pretty sure it was more about your hormones not cooperating than his super virile sperm. 

You didn’t have the heart to burst his bubble as the smirk spread wider with pride across his face.  When Johnny put his mind to something, it was bound to be an adventure. 

Was his fearlessness and good humor a trait he’d pass on to his bairns? You'd find out soon enough.

“Well, the damage’s been done, eh?  Can’t knock you up twice.  Not yet, anyway.”  His eyes darkened as he reached for the waist of your pants and pulled you across his lap.  “Seems we’ve been given a gift.  Might as well earn it.”

[httpvomitello]

mmmm can I request a rise tmnt with an S/o that is the same as Toga himiko?

Hello! Sooo ~ I've never watched My Hero Academia, So I had to do a little research on who this Toga is. If the personality isn't so similar, I apologize! But I hope you like it ♡♡♡♡

Leo loves a good challenge, and you definitely keep him on his toes

Your unpredictable nature fascinates him, but it’s the way you’re so intensely into him that he finds both flattering and a little nerve-wracking

When he catches you watching him with that intense, almost starry-eyed look, he can’t help but blush, stammering and glancing away

But secretly, he loves the attention

Even if you sometimes make it a bit too obvious

But, let’s be real, he secretly enjoys it when you surprise him, especially with your creative approaches to “pranks.”

Anytime you ask for a little drop of his blood to “keep with you,” he tries to act cool, telling you it’s a “ninja bonding ritual” just to play along

(Even if he’s sweating bullets inside)

Leo definitely has a protective side and tries to keep you out of trouble

Whenever you go off on one of your mischief-filled escapades, he’s not far behind, making sure you’re safe

While also admiring how fierce and unapologetically yourself you are.

Raph is caught off guard by your intensity and the way you look at him, like he’s some prize you’re obsessed with

At first, he doesn’t know what to make of it, but eventually, he finds himself kind of… into it?

Your chaotic energy speaks to the wilder side of him, and he can’t help but get pulled into your whirlwind

You make him feel like he’s the most fascinating person turtle in the world, which is something he never realized he wanted

Raph can’t quite understand your fixation with his scars and the way you sometimes ask about them, but he’ll let you run your fingers over them as long as you don’t push it too far

Though, he secretly finds your admiration of them flattering, as they’re a part of who he is

He’d be protective over you, always making sure you don’t get yourself into too much trouble

You two would make an unexpectedly powerful pair, with you being clever and cunning, and him having the strength to back you up

The first time you try to “mark” Raph in some way, whether it’s a scratch or a playful bite, he gives you a confused look but ultimately goes along with it, finding it strangely endearing

Though he’ll never admit it.

Donnie’s a mix of intrigued and cautious around you

He finds your obsessive interest in him flattering yet a little concerning, but he can’t help but enjoy the attention, especially when he’s often overlooked

You’re fascinated by his intellect, and you genuinely want to understand his work, even if you tend to be… a bit much with your eagerness

He loves talking tech with you, even though he gets sidetracked when he catches you staring at him like he’s the most interesting experiment in the world

When you occasionally bring up things about blood or “keeping a piece of him with you,” he’s completely floored

You find yourself having to reassure him that it’s just a “cute thing” you do because you really like him, even if he still looks at you with raised eyebrows

Donnie’s careful around you, making sure not to give you any reason to go full crazy mode, but he secretly likes that you’re so different from everyone else

You bring a fresh (and slightly terrifying) dynamic into his life that he didn’t know he needed

He’d create little gadgets for you to play with, hoping it distracts you from any “unconventional” ideas you might get

If you seem fascinated by his lab equipment, he’ll even show you how to use it (safely, of course), hoping it’ll keep you happy and engaged.

Mikey is initially a bit taken aback by your intensity, but he finds it exhilarating

You’re like a whirlwind of energy and excitement, and he’s all about that

He adores your attention, and your fascination with him makes him feel super special

You two are like partners in crime, with him being the sunshine to your darker, slightly obsessive tendencies

When you start talking about blood or hinting at your more intense interests, Mikey’s open-mindedness comes in handy

He doesn’t judge you; in fact, he thinks it’s kind of cute, though he might give you a little side-eye if you take it too far

You two have a chaotic kind of harmony

If you get a little intense, he just smiles and diffuses the situation with his playful energy, guiding you to the lighter side of things without you even noticing

Mikey would be the type to make light of your more “interesting” quirks, playfully indulging you in small, harmless ways while keeping things fun and safe

He’d also draw doodles of you two as chaotic superheroes (or villains) because he finds your relationship exciting and loves that you bring such a unique energy into his life.

[spacebaby1]

Heyyy can I request a Shinichiro x reader where they’re secretly dating because Shinichiro is best friends with reader’s brother and how would Shinichiro treat his younger girlfriend who’s just as shy as him when it comes to affection.

I live for Shinichiro fics🙂‍↕️🩷enjoy!

Shinichiro and you had woven a delicate tapestry of secrets, threads of your affection hidden deep beneath the surface of everyday life. He's your brother's best friend, a bond that made your secret all the more thrilling yet terrifying.

Shinichiro had always been different from the other boys at school. His cool demeanor was wrapped in a charming awkwardness that made him endearing. With his soft brown eyes and tousled hair, he could easily slip into the background of any scene. But when he smiled, oh, that smile; it illuminated the world around him like the first rays of dawn. In private moments, away from prying eyes, he was tender and sweet, his shy nature echoing your own.

The back of the local bookstore became your refuge. Hidden amongst the shelves of forgotten stories and unbidden dreams, you two shared stolen whispers and fleeting glances. It was a sanctuary where you felt safe. On one rainy afternoon, the scent of damp pages mingling with your nervousness. As you stood beside him, shoulders almost touching, while the both of you pretended to browse.

“Hey,” he said, glancing down at a book, “what do you think about this one?” His voice was barely above a whisper, but it sent shivers down your spine. You was captured in the softness of his gaze.

“It sounds interesting,” you replied, though your thoughts were far away, swirling with the emotions that bloomed whenever he was near.

He looked at you with a mix of warmth and uncertainty. “Do you…do you want to read it together?” The question hung in the air, frail but hopeful. “Yeah, I’d like that,” you managed to say, heart beating loudly against your chest.

Your fingers brushed as the both of you reached for the book, and in that instant, the world faded into silence. It felt electric, sending sparks through the air, igniting the hidden flames of our hearts. But each time you two ventured out of that sanctuary, reality crashed in like a thunderstorm. He was nothing but a friend and you wished to have the courage to face the world and your brother to admit that you want to be with Shinichiro; so did he. It was him that suggested that you both tell your brother about the both of you being in love and all Shinichiro wanted was to keep you safe and be only yours. At first when you told your best friend she was scared that Shinichiro might be playing around with you but he honestly haven't even asked to meet you alone, being around you with everyone was enough as long as he got to see you and would exchange smiles whenever he saw you and would often leave sweet gifts on your desk at school. He was perfect.

One evening, while Both your and your brothers friends gathered at your home, the atmosphere was heavy with laughter and chatter, a stark contrast to the secret yearning simmering between Shinichiro and you.

You'd catch him sneaking glances at you throughout the evening. Each look made your heart race, but it also clenched with anxiety. What if your brother noticed? What if he found out? The weight of secrecy was becoming hard to bear for you.

Later that night, as some of your friends left, a tension hung in the air. Your brother had gone to bed from all the drinking, leaving you two alone in the dimly lit room, as you and Shinichiro cleaned the empty boxes of pizza and cans of soda. You sighed and sat on the couch, Shinichiro was worried that he took the seat next you watching you waiting for you to speak whats on your mind, "Sweetie? What's wrong?" He shifted nervously on the couch, his hands fidgeting in, for a solid minute you didn't speak.

“I think…” he began, pausing as he searched for words. “I think we need to talk about this.” His honesty was refreshing and terrifying all at once.

You swallowed hard, feeling your cheeks heat because he immediately knew what was bothering you. “I know,” you whispered voice trembling slightly.

“What if… what if we stopped hiding?” There was vulnerability in his gaze, a softness that made your heart ache. “What if we told your brother?”

The idea sent ice through your veins. “What if he doesn’t understand?” you murmured. “What if he gets mad? What if he hurts you?”

Shinichiro’s brow furrowed, his sincerity shining through. “But what if he does? What if he’s happy for us?” He reached over, his hand gently covering yours.The warmth of his touch melted away your fears, if only for a moment.

“We could try,” you agreed, feeling emboldened by the courage you both shared. “But can we take it slow? I’m scared.”

“Me too,” he admitted with a small smile, light breaking through the shadows. “We’ll figure it out together.”

You couldn't sleep the whole night and so did Shinichiro that you both just sat outside watching the sun rise and before you know it your brother was up, you went to make breakfast to relief the anxiety while your brother and Shinichiro sat in the living-room; you could hear your brother laughter while Shinichiro sat in silence; absolutely nervous. After serving the breakfast and Shinichiro following you to the kitchen. He sighed shaking his hands nervously before smiled at you and you nodded, the both of you walked in the living-room, "Oni-chan?" Your brother looked up from breakfast, brows drawn together in confusion as he saw you gripping on Shinichiro’s arm for the dear life.

“There’s something we need to tell you,” you began, holding your breath as you glanced at Shinichiro for support. “Shinichiro and I… we’re together.”

The room fell silent for a minute and you thought your brother was about to get up and beat Shinichiro to the ground before you heard laughter suspended in mid-air, your brother blinked whipping his eyes, absorbing the revelation, before breaking into a chuckle. “Well, it’s about time! I was wondering how long you two would keep this a secret.”

A wave of relief washed over me, followed closely by Shinichiro's nervous laughter.

“Oh, come here!” your said, pulling you both into a bear hug. “Just don’t make it awkward, alright?”

As you all stepped back, both Shinichiro and you felt lighter, the tension that had once twisted your insides replaced by a vibrant excitement for what lay ahead. Your heart swelled as Shinichiro laced his fingers through yours an act that felt monumental now that it wasn’t hidden.

[bangsinc]

⚪️ More Spot x Reader (prompts) 🖤

Because it’s not my duty with 15 whole followers to write more🙏🙏 ily all. This is pretty long since I did prompts I found and stuff so :3.. ALSOOALSO, I’m new at writing x reader and the love means sm!!! AGG!!

:readmore:

Who confessed first? what was the confession like?

Spot is an enigma, a man beyond his mortal realm. A man who has the power to travel anywhere he pleases…. But he could never tell you how he feels. He’d feel like, in the event of a heartfelt confession, you’d be terrified and run away. After all, it’s not everyday an inter dimensional being wants you to be theirs.

In the event of a confession, he would expect you to do most of the talking. It’s not something he’s proud of, but his emotions, to him, don’t matter anymore because of what he is. The confession, if he would imagine it, would be something incredibly cheesy but something so.. him. He didn’t have flowers because the kind you liked were out, didn’t have any romantic place to go to because he was afraid of being shunned, and the cupcakes he made burnt :(!

If he could, he’d cry upon a confession on your end.

Who gets sick/injured more often? who is the caretaker?

This goes without saying, but spot is.. not human, or at least he isn’t anymore. He can’t catch a cold, or get sick, it’s beyond him now. So, you would have to undoubtedly be the one he winds up taking care of.

He seems like a worrywart. In the event you are sick, or Ill, or whatever it may be, he’s going to act like you’re dying. He won’t leave your side for one minute, constantly trying to cook for you or *cough* steal *cough* medicine (it’s a little difficult with his holes.. please be patient).

How do they feel about PDA?

Oh my god.. please. He craves it. So much. It’s unhealthy. Even if he isn’t.. the most easy to hold or cuddle, he wants nothing more than to feel your warmpth against him. You’re the last, if not only thing he has to affection.

He can’t kiss you, or really.. do anything.. but he has hands! And a body! So he’d love it if you would spoil him with endearment.

In public, things are slightly different. He hardly goes out unless it’s to continue his ‘life of crime’, but if you were to tag along and show him affection, in public.. he wouldn’t know how to react. Like, you’re proud to be with him??? Him?? HIM??

How do they comfort you/cheer you up?

Oh how he just hates to see his love sad :(. You give him so much love and affection.. the least he could do is return it tenfold when you feel upset.

He’ll hold you, tell you sweet things, try and lull you. Your emotions, to him, are as important as breathing (if he.. even needs to do that).

Maybe will even cook for you! He has a thing for spicy food. Can he like, even eat?

Traits they like in a partner?

He wants someone who is like him in the sence that also feel somewhat outcasted from society. Someone who isn’t conveniently attractive, has features that aren’t considerably desirable. He loves those things. Hooked noses, droopy eyes, eyebags, stretch marks, pimples, he loves it all. He’s not a picky man.

Might perfer chubby partners (would appriciate the comfort of holding them, not to mention he thinks curvy women are attractive.. he’s such a dork).

Spot would like a significant other thats artistic or creative. They might seem more open to his ideas, or at least to him that’s how it would seem. One with a sence of humor aswell.

(Maybe a significant other who can defend him if he’s being attacked for robbing some place)

Traits they don’t like in a partner?

I.. really don’t think there’s much he wouldn’t like in a partner. He likes anyone and everyone as long as they love him and they’re nice to him. That said.. he probably couldn’t stand someone who’s rude, or cocky to an extent. Someone who’s on their phone while he’s trying to talk to them. Someone who actively turns down his love. He’s a very clingy man, he wants the affection and if you can’t give it it’ll upset him.

Do they buy you gifts often? What would they buy you?

He loves to (steal) buy things for his darling. Little trinkets, or other things he thinks they would enjoy based on his knowledge of them. He loves how their face brightens, how he knows he just made their day. He can’t do much for you, but he makes it up with anything he can do. He wants you to feel like a goddess.

[ff7-has-taken-me-over]

I suddenly had a thought of GhostSoap being normal human beings and doing normal human being things and wanted to write some stuff for it.

1) Simon always forgets to replace the fuckin toilet paper and Johnny loses his mind over it every single time

2) Johnny has these quiet little snores that whistle out every time he breathes out and while it’s mildly annoying some nights Simon still finds it so endearing

3) Simon hogs the blankets, even in summer cause he’s just always cold, no matter what. Johnny tends to just snuggle in real close to Simon when he gets cold

4) Johnny is the cook of the house. He’s really good at it (his mother refused to let him leave home without knowing how to survive on his own) but he can’t bake. Simon’s the opposite where he can bake (his mum loved baking, taught him everything she knew) but can’t cook to save his life

5) Johnny’s always stealing Simon’s leftovers or hidden treats and Simon has threatened to stab him once or twice over it (it never stops Johnny from doing it again)

6) Simon totally found a stray cat and got the ‘you wanna keep him, you look after him’ talk and he has never been more devoted to looking after another living being after the whole thing with his family

7) Johnny’s got a million and one things in their bathroom all for the sake of looking after his hair and skin and what not and he definitely sits Simon down on the toilet seat every so often so he can do the same for him

8) Johnny seeks validation near constantly. Simon doesn’t know why but he always, always makes sure Johnny knows he’s appreciated and doing good and whatever else the man needs validation on

9) When Simon has night terrors the way to calm him down is to just let him cling to you. Don’t speak or anything just let him hold you and let him reassure himself that your alive and well. Sometimes he’ll be ready to talk about it in the morning, other times he’s content to let the memories go and just keep going

10) Johnny is the worst at taking out the trash. Since they live in a semi-old apartment complex they had to take their rubbish all the way downstairs when the bin in their place got full and Johnny fucking hates it

11) When one of them get put on leave and have to go back to the apartment by themselves they’ll play the other persons music and cook their favourite foods (or try at least) to try and fool themselves into thinking they’re not alone in their home

12) Simon totally has a stuffed toy that belonged to Joseph and while it sits on his shelf he was still terrified Johnny was going to say something bad about it or try and get rid of it (that’s happened once with an ex) but Johnny saw it, called it cute and then proceeded to look after it when Simon couldn’t

13) Johnny may not look it but he’s a bit of gardener. He’s got a windowsill full of herbs in the kitchen and their balcony has some random plants that he doesn’t actually know the name or origin of but he looks after them and has very specific instructions for Ghost to follow when he’s not around

14) Simon’s friends with the old guy that runs the convenience store down the street from their apartment and not because he tried to befriend the guy or anything, but because the guy thought Simon looked funny with his mask and decided he was going to favour him out of all of his customers

15) The neighbours tried hitting on Simon once and Johnny happened to open the door and heard them flirting with his boyfriend. He got so possessive that he made out with the bigger man against their door jamb for like 5 minutes until Simon pulled him inside. The news spread very quickly after that

16) The apartment complex have a betting pool going about what they do for a living because they hold such weird hours and will disappear for months at a time. None of them wanna ask the two though cause they’re all a little scared of the both of them

17) Simon’s a bookworm and if it weren’t for their tiny apartment he’d have his own, personal library filled to the brim with books

[corysmiles]

t!Tav with the Origin Companions

BG3 g/t

T!tav fluffy head cannons

Notes: this is unedited but I needed to get it out of my brain, so my apologies for any grammar weirdness

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Karlach:

This woman is absolutely devastated that she can’t hold Tav because of her engine

She sneaks extra food to Tav because she’s fascinated by the tiny

As soon as her engine is fixed enough for her to touch people she is holding Tav all the time. Her first action after being fixed is just grabbing the tiny

Tav uses Karlach as a personal heater whenever it’s too cold at night and Karlach is 100% there for it. Although, she is extremely nervous about accidentally crushing Tav while she’s asleep

Karlach lets Tav hide in her armor while they’re out so she can keep the tiny close

Gale (+Tara):

Gale is extremely careful and gentle with Tav, letting them sit with him while he reads in his tent. He’s spent a long time writing and using his hands for magic, so he’s very well-practiced in careful movements

He is nervous that Tara will go after the tiny so he sits her down to talk about Tav NOT being food. Tara is upset about it at first, but starts to like the tiny once she realizes she can get the best ear scratches from the tiny.

Gale loves learning so he takes any chance he gets to study Tav. It gets a little weird for the tiny sometimes because he asks a ton of questions but overall they find it endearing

As the resident cook of the group Gale is all in on making sure Tav eats well. At first he’s not super sure about how much they should eat so they end up with a portion way too big for them. He gets better over time at making sure the portions are right but Tav will never complain about there being too much.

If Tav is in trouble or noticed during a fight he conjures a mage hand to whisk them away. The first time it happens Tav is terrified until they’re dropped into Gale’s pocket away from danger, and any time they try to look out to see what’s happening the hand pushes them back into the pocket

Astarion:

Astarion is extremely unsure about Tav at first. He doesn’t understand the point of keeping someone around who can’t really help much in fights, and he doesn’t like the idea of wasting resources on them (even small amounts).

He starts to get along with them when he realizes they’re upset about not feeling like they have much control over their life. One night when drinking they tell him about how they’re used to being used and controlled by larger people, and after that he can’t help but relate to them. And if he is a little nicer to them after that none of the other companions have to know

He definitely teases them about biting them, even though they know he wouldn’t actually do anything to them.

Astarion is also surprisingly gentle with them. His experience with picking locks means he is often the best at holding them without jostling them around too much. Whenever they’re on long walks to their next campsite Tav often lets him hold them since it’s usually the most comfortable. He always complains, but he never actually turns them down

Lae’zel:

Similarly to Astarion, Lae’zel also doesn’t like Tav much at first. In her opinion the tiny is nothing more than a liability in a fight, and she doesn’t understand the appeal of having them around.

Lae’zel typically avoided interacting with Tav, and if she had to pick them up she wasn’t very nice about it

However, after visiting the crèche Tav comes to talk to her and make sure she’s okay, and the tiny starts to grow on Lae’zel. After realizing that some of the githyanki ideals she’d been taught weren’t right, she starts to find the tiny’s company nice- even if the tiny still can’t help much in a fight

Lae’zel absolutely tries to teach Tav how to fight. She gives them a needle as a makeshift weapon and while it can’t do much damage she teaches Tav all the best places to stab.

Wyll:

Wyll is one of the first to support the idea of allowing Tav to stay with them. He’s always wanted to help other people, and when they find the tiny he can’t help but want to protect them.

Whenever Mizora shows up at camp he hides Tav away because he’s always worried she’ll do something to them to keep Wyll under her control

Wyll reached Tav how to dance once he finds out that they don’t know how. It’s awkward since they’re smaller than his hand but he’s still able to at least teach them the proper movements

Tav loves to hear Wyll’s stories about the people he’s protected before and will sit in his tent to keep him company to listen to him

Wyll is very nervous about holding Tav. He’s always worried that he’ll hurt them somehow or that they’ll fall or he’ll squeeze too tight, but Tav always reassures him it’s okay. He gets better about it throughout their travels, but he still doesn’t hold them often out of fear

Shadowheart:

Shadowheart loves Tav almost from the start. She’ll talk to them constantly, and sit them on her shoulder for company throughout their travels.

Shadowheart is very keen on training the owl bear cub and Scratch to not hurt Tav. When they finally get to a point where Tav can be around them with out constant monitoring Shadowheart is extremely pleased with herself

After fights Shadowheart also checks on Tav first to heal them if they need it, always worried something bad will have happened to the tiny while she wasn’t looking.

When Tav finds out Shadowheart likes night orchids they start dropping off ones that they find in front of her tent. She doesn’t say anything about it, too worried the tiny will stop if she says anything, but she does appreciate it greatly

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

my favorite scully moments from s3

walking to her mother’s house barefoot in episode 1, after having been placed on leave for her involvement in the quest to smuggle secret alien files- how she falls into her mother’s arms, says she made a terrible mistake, and that dad would be so ashamed of her (my heart melted out of my body… she did the right thing and still doubted herself 🙁)

and then even AFTER she was removed from her job, she visits skinner’s office with information on the case- when he suggests she’s just trying to get her job back, she is indignant and explains that it is about finding answers and saving her friend (she had AN INTENSE fury in her eyes that skinner would suggest that, i love when she is filled with righteous rage and driven by the quest to Do The Morally Right Thing no matter what)

attending mr. mulder’s funeral, and telling mrs. mulder she knows her son with be found, even if she isn't sure why she holds that belief

and this is STILL in episode one, but when she is convinced skinner is trying to kill her and she is NOT playing around, holding him at gunpoint- “don’t think i won’t do it, you son of a bitch”, she says, to which he replies “no, i believe you” (he knew he was in danger!!)

they need to know a certain number- napier’s constant- in episode 2 to get into the secret disease center in west virgina, and she knows it off the top of her head (it’s 27,828 for those who are curious) (when she knows random facts my heart skips some beats)

and in the same episode, when they’re about to embark on learning some dark secrets on mulder’s father in the disease center archives, scully wants to know if he will be okay, because “i just know how it would affect me” (she is so thoughtful...)

scully not believing any of the things clyde bruckman is predicting in episode 4 until he starts talking about how mulder will be attacked, and then all of a sudden she is tuned in

(and her whole relationship with bruckman- how she asks him how she’ll die even though she is terrified, and how he refuses to answer and burden her with that knowledge; how they play poker and talk about macbeth; how she feels that he has no joy in his life due to his abilities, real or imagined; how she listened to his prediction about mulder’s death and was there to save him; and how she cries when he ended his life)

“a woman gets lonely. sometimes she can’t wait around for a man to get reincarnated” <- tea (said in episode 5)

in episode 7, she is listening to a man describe his symptoms, and she writes a note and passes it to mulder. not even sure why this was so endearing to me- the combination of her Doctor Mode and seeing the tiny details of her passing notes, perhaps? but i loved it

in the same episode, the people from the military were trying to stop their investigation, and she put her foot down, point blank telling the general to “make himself available”, and calling out the obstruction and hidden details on the case. i love when she is full of righteous rage

when she saves mulder by finding the code to disarm the bomb in episode 10 by going to his house and playing his $29.95 autopsy video frame by frame... a hero on many levels

ALL OF EPISODE 11… her catholic lore dropping (how she knows the number of stigmatics in the world at one time, the saints whose bodies didn’t decompose, and how st. ignatius could be in two places at once), her connection with the little boy, him asking if she was sent to protect her and her believing it, promising she won’t let him be hurt, convincing mulder to let the kid come to the hotel with them, running him a bath (and mulder’s fake pout- “you never draw my bath”), when she becomes convinced the kid is at the recycling plant, and he is, so she saves him with a miracle... and when he says they’ll see each other again <3

the “i… believe in the idea that god’s hand can be witnessed. i believe he can create miracles, yes” “even if science can’t explain them?” “maybe that’s just what faith is” exchange with mulder

THIS NEXT ONE…

“how is it that you’re able to go out on a limb whenever you see a light in the sky, but you’re unwilling to accept the possibility of a miracle, even when it’s right in front of you?” “i wait for a miracle every day, but what i've seen here has only tested my patience, not my faith” “well, what about what i’ve seen?” (screaming. i am screaming. he is so quick to believe in anything except what she has put her faith in, and she rightfully stood up for herself against his disbelief, even if he didn't mean to be offensive, and he should take her seriously even in matters of god, and i need to stop typing or i will keep going for hours)

the way she goes to confession at the very end, telling the priest she doubts what she has seen because mulder did. and he responds that perhaps the miracles were meant just for her. how she says that she is scared that god is speaking, but no one is listening. she’s so haunted by what she has seen and the need to get justice for it, but still, god sent her a miracle, so there is hope.

screaming... i just LOVE that episode so much…

seeing her at home during episode 12- reading breakfast at tiffany’s, cleaning her gun and chatting on the phone, bathing the dog, eating ice cream out of the carton, and answering all of mulder’s obscure medical questions

and how annoyed she is with mulder’s infatuation with “dr. bambi” lmao she clocked it SO fast

in episode 15, she tears up when skinner says those above him are interested in closing her sister’s case; she becomes furious that they can seemingly solve every crime but this one (and bonus points for skinner fighting for her, even though it nearly killed him <3)

in the same episode, she immediately identifies the type of plane she is looking at as a north american p-51 mustang, because she used to watch her father and brothers build model planes

in episode 16, she visits skinner in the hospital and takes charge- making sure he is guarded at all times, that the investigation on who attacked him moves forward. and how she grabs his hand before he is wheeled into surgery and then visits him to ask how he is feeling when he wakes up

(and when she puts together that whoever shot skinner was also the person who shot her sister… truly in her detective era)

saving skinner’s life later in the episode, confronting the gunman, and how she screamed and screamed, asking if he was the one who killed her sister. god, that broke me. i need to analyze it for a few weeks

“i think the dead are speaking to us, mulder. demanding justice” <- it’s so tied to her fundamental need to do the correct thing and augh. she wants to find answers for her sister so terribly. she deserves them

in episode 17: (incredibly deadpan) “please explain to me the scientific nature of the whammy” (some people write her as too serious to be funny and it's like... are we watching the same show because she has me dying)

when she agrees with mulder’s theory that somehow the pusher is bending people to his will, even if she has no way to explain it- yet! a big moment!!!

she also immediately identifies the movie playing at the pusher’s house as svengali, further proving her horror movie fan status

(plucking a rat out of a car in episode 18) “label that” “as what?’ “partial rat body part” <- this killed me

(also, when she wipes blood off of mulder’s face in the woods... terribly intimate)

she makes a stupid joke about the organ trafficking victim leaving his heart in san francisco in episode 19 and it makes mulder laugh

her being such a big fan of jose chung in episode 20 and agreeing to meet him even though mulder refused. when he later mentions another of his books she gets so excited she says it is “one of the greatest thrillers ever written” … nerd <3

scully being mortified that she was featured in a late night television clip of an alien autopsy (she was autopsying a normal human being in an alien costume, but one thing led to another and now her face was briefly on the stupendous yappi show!! so embarrassing for a woman of science!!)

how she tells jose chung that their case might not have a lot of closure, but it's more closure than they usually get (while fidgeting with her flower-shaped earrings)

(and then when she reads his final book, she is described as “noble of spirit and pure of heart” but “nevertheless a federal employee” which had to both please her immensely and make her laugh)

there’s this moment in episode 21 where she is on the phone with mulder while driving in what looks to be a torrential downpour, and i cannot explain why it was so funny to me. it just was. she is flooring it through a damn hurricane to get there and it makes me laugh.

watching her slowly lose her grip on reality in episode 23 until she becomes convinced it was mulder who was behind her abduction… how she calls him and only flatly asks “where are you?”, how she holds mulder at gunpoint, certain he abducted her and killed her sister. how her mother finally convinces her that she is safe, which causes her to fall into her mother’s arms, sobbing. gooooooooosh...

when she hears someone was shot in episode 24 but somehoe miraculously recovered, so she just lifts up his shirt to examine his stomach without asking. it had me giggling!! she is entering Doctor Mode, decorum be damned, that dude's tummy WILL be inspected.

and then using all of her Doctor Mode knowledge to assure mulder that his mother has a chance at a good recovery, and trying to book a motel room for him to be by her side in the hospital; when he refuses and insists on going back to work, she tries to remind him he hasn’t slept in forever to no avail (these two will watch out for each other and it kills me every single time)

[blues824]

ive loved all your other mitsuri x whoever posts, could i have the obey me brothers with a mitsuri kanroji s/o?

In this, the brothers are kind of possessive and protective, but not downright yandere… besides Belphie.

Lucifer

He thought you were absolutely beautiful when you first arrived. Your pink and green hair along with your green eyes were absolutely gorgeous in his eyes. However, you were taking a defensive stance with your…blade? You were surrounded by demons, and you’re visibly scared. The urge to protect you just grew.

He was always very protective of you, but you still carried your whips around. The first time you actually demonstrated your strength was when Mammon stole something of yours and tried to sell it. You had an angry look on your face as you lacerated him. It wasn’t the worst pain he’s ever experienced, but Lucifer is surprised at how you did that with no hesitation.

Mans probably worships the ground you walk on, to be honest. He will always keep tabs on you whenever you go out by yourself just to make sure you are alright. He would never be able to forgive himself if you got hurt and he could’ve prevented it. If you see him around, no you don’t.

If you were to call him “darling” or “love”, he would do the same. It was the small terms of endearment that had him wrapped around your finger. Whenever you called him one of the little pet names, he would look around before his eyes met yours. It was like a language that only the two of you could speak.

Mammon

Mans honestly thought you were breathtaking. I mean that literally. When Lucifer first introduced the two of you, he forgot how to breathe for a few seconds. His heart skipped multiple beats at a time. He was a demon in love at first sight.

He takes his job as your protector very seriously. He will throw you over his shoulder and carry you out of any situation he deems dangerous. The first time you demonstrated your strength was when Levi went to attack you for winning the TSL quiz. Mammon was shocked when his younger brother was bleeding because you lacerated him.

The amount of modeling gigs you both score is… terrifying. You both go viral and have even won the title of “Devildom’s Hottest Couple” multiple different times. Mammon never wants you to do a gig by yourself because that means he wouldn’t be there to protect you. In return, he’ll turn down agencies you don’t want him to accept.

Please, for the love of everything in all the 3 Realms, call him “sweetie” or “sweetheart”. He will absolutely melt. If you call him either name, he is down on one knee for you. He is taking you out to dinner and taking you shopping right after. He will pay for it all because he loves you so much.

Leviathan

He is a simp. There’s no other way to say it. When he saw you, scared beyond belief, he immediately felt the urge to comfort and protect you. His heart was pounding against his chest when Lucifer introduced the two of you. His face was a bright pink, and he might as well have had hearts in his eyes.

He is most definitely very possessive. Everyday, he has to fight the urge to lock you up in his room and keep you all to himself. He’s happy that you willingly spend most of your time with him, but he can’t help but get insanely jealous when you give your attention to anything or anyone besides him.

He always makes sure to stock up on sakura mochi just so he can surprise you every once in a while. He loves being the cause of your smile, and he would fall from the Celestial Realm if it meant you would smile. You never judged him for anything, so he feels the need to return the favor in some way.

He always blushes so hard whenever you call him any pet names. His favorite is when you call him “baby” and coo at him like you would at an infant. He absolutely loves receiving your praise. Also, make sure to pepper his face in kisses at least 3 times a day. They’re his good luck charm and he swears they’re why he always wins his video games.

Satan

His breath faltered for a quick second when he first met you. After you were first introduced to each other, he noticed the kind look in your eyes while you were talking to him. No one has ever looked at him the way you did. You also had a soft, gentle voice. You didn’t seem scared of him, and that’s what made him grow attached.

He was protective, but he knew that you could take care of yourself. He would linger around to make sure that he would be able to step in if necessary. You showed your true strength when you were protecting Beel and Luke. It wasn’t everyday a human was able to wrap a whip around the Avatar of Pride’s neck until it was one tug away from beheading him. He was both shocked and proud.

He loved to take you out to cat café’s. He would look at the menu online to see if they served sakura mochi. That’s another thing: he always remembers everything you tell him. Even if it was just in passing, he will store it in his memory. He always surprises you with little gifts so that you can see how much he truly cares.

Being with him made you feel like you were in a romance novel. He loved to call you things like “darling” and “dearest”, and he loved it when you responded with a pet name like the ones he gave you. It reminds him of elderly couples who were as in love as they were when they first met.

Asmodeus

You looked absolutely adorable! No, don’t hide, he won’t bite… yet! He absolutely loved you from the first millisecond he laid his eyes on you. You just looked so cute, he could eat you right up! The kind look in your eyes and your shy voice just made his heart explode. You were just too much for him.

He wasn’t very protective, but he was possessive. He would get pouty whenever he saw you having fun with one of his other brothers. He would grab you by the hand and pull you back to his room, where he continued to pout until you kissed his cheek or his lips. Then he is back to his happy, normal self.

He loved to take you out shopping whenever you want or whenever you have to go run errands anyway. He loved dressing you up in a lot of cute outfits, and he loved it even more when you squealed when you liked the outfit he picked out for you. His Devilgram is just filled with pictures of the two of you.

You both were just so lovey-dovey with each other, everyone else either awed or gagged. You’re the kind of couple to order hot chocolate with whipped cream just so you could grab a dab on your finger and boop the other’s nose. Your giggles were contagious, and the two of you always erupted in laughter. Here is where he takes even more pictures of you, but he doesn’t post them. They are for his eyes only.

Beelzebub

He dropped his sandwich when he first saw you. You were just so beautiful that he couldn’t help but stare as you went around introducing yourself to everyone. He stuttered through his own name as he tried to start a conversation with you. It was then he realized that he was down bad for you.

He was most definitely very protective of you. He always had to be near you to make sure that he was safe. Even his twin brother wasn’t an exception to his ‘stay six feet away from Y/N at all times’ rule. After the incident with Belphie, he was the last one that Beel trusted to be around you.

He always hears you whenever you cheer him on at his Fangol games. You could be as quiet as a mouse and your voice is the only one he swears he hears. He only pays attention to you. If you were to dress up in a pink and green cheerleading outfit with pom-poms, he would propose to you on camera right on the field.

He loves the rare moments where he can just relax with you. He loves laying his head on your lap as you run your hands through his hair while you both snack on the sakura mochi you love so much. This big behemoth of a demon swears that he will marry you one day if you ever call him “baby” or anything like that… I simp for him…

Belphegor

When he first saw you in the attic, he had to admit that he wanted to abandon his plan so badly. You were just so innocent that he felt like total shit for using you to escape this prison of his. Surely you understand! You would forgive him… right? There was no way in his mind that you wouldn’t.

He is both protective and possessive. It’s a struggle getting out of bed each day because he has an iron grip on you, even when he’s asleep. He mumbles something about you being warm, and while that’s part of the reason why he wants you to stay, it’s not the whole story. No, he wants you all to himself. His brothers can go screw themselves for all he cares.

He doesn’t exactly like going out, but whenever you take him stargazing he can’t help but notice how the stars reflect in your eyes. He points out different constellations and you ask about each and every one of them. You were just so adorable, and he finally had enough when he pulled you into his arms and laid his head on your chest.

He loves the days where you gently wake him up by running your hands through his hair and whisper his name accompanied with the nickname “darling”. For some reason, it always makes him get up each morning. He didn’t know why either, maybe his body was telling the both of you that the two of you were soulmates?

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 65 – System Collapse by Martha Wells

I’ve had this on preorder long enough to have entirely forgotten about it by the time I got the email that it’s available for pickup – but thanks to the magic of an extremely obliging local book store, I was still able to pick up and read the entire thing before it’s technically released. So score one for buying indie, I guess.

The book is set directly after Network Effect – directly directly, to the point where I needed to look up a plot summary to remind myself what the situation was – following our beloved rogue and rampant SecUnit, ART, and their assorted humans as they try to convince an abandoned and alien-contaminated colony’s inhabitants to trust them and accept evacuation with them (and also go along with the colonial charter they’re forging) rather than the indenture offers the corporate mission also on site are offering. Along the way there’s hacking, shuttle chases, gunfights, and plot-critical media curation.

Mostly though it’s about Murderbot having PTSD (on account of all the horrible trauma in Network Effect specifically, and also just its life generally) and absolutely zero idea how to cope. After a false memory/panic attack makes it crash out of nowhere it spends the majority of the book terrified that it’s going to crash or freeze up at some vital moment and get everyone killed, dealing with constant alien-related paranoia, and generally second-guessing itself and feeling useless and depressed. Absolutely no one around it has any idea how to deal with this, and their awkward attempts to be supporting are both endearing and entirely unhelpful.

Anyway, this is a Murderbot novel. Do you like Murderbot? Then you will like this. Do you not know the series? Then by god start with All Systems Red none of this will make any sense at all without context. Do you dislike murderbot? I mean hateread as you like but it is largely more of the same, don’t expect any series-saving twists for you.

It’s kind of absurd to call the series ‘cozy fantasy’ – by the end of the book SecUnit is down several extremities and bleeding out on the floor (as is traditional by this point) – but I feel like the series fills about the same emotional niche for me as like say Becky Chambers does for people with normal tolerances for low-tension sentimentality. The setting is a horrible dystopia and the plots are full of violence and trauma, but all that is more or less set dressing to stories that are actually about SecUnit making connections and deciding at a tortuously slow pace what sort of life it wants to have (usually several hours after commuting itself without thinking) while consistently running into the best possible friends and forming mutually affectionate relationships it absolutely did not want. It’s a story about fun, low-tension character dynamics, corporate kill teams aside.

I am being entirely sincere when I say the fact that SecUnit has no idea what it wants or what its doing is a selling point. In the same way, the fact that there’s never any real ~breakthrough~ or moment of sudden recovery is absolutely key to the book working. The story closes with it being hopeful and doing better but from any remotely reasonable baseline still being pretty far from ‘okay’ (in much the same way, it is utterly vital to the whole series that it has absolutely zero angst over ‘not being human’ or pinochle syndrome and only cares about ‘not being normal’ insofar as its had to work really hard on some automated scripts for walking and idle motions to pass as human while doing infiltration work).

Anyway, speaking of character dynamics – look, I’ve always been the first to roll my eyes when people complain about not being able to keep tracks or large casts. But every time I open one of these books, I realize I have only the vaguest idea who the vast majority of the (human) supporting cast is. Not really an issue with actually following the story, but I’m absolutely certain I’m missing out on some things.

The non-human supporting cast are great though. ART best spaceship, and I cared significantly more about the colony’s central control computer than any of the actual colonists. I’m like 70% sure this is intentional.

Stepping back, it’s interesting how the series’ setting has evolved over time. In All Systems Red the universe around SecUnit was incredibly broadly sketched, generic sci f playing with space opera and cyberpunk tropes it pretty much relied upon readers already being familiar with. This never exactly stops – especially for the aesthetics and technology, the book has a profound lack of interest in the specifics of what ‘projectile weapons’ look like or how spaceships work beyond the convenience of plot – but as the books go on the world definitely gets more specific and also broader. You can mostly blame ART for this, I think – there’s a definite shift in the tone of the setting when you introduce an institution like the University with power like it can throw around, and more generally make active resistance to and subversion to the corporate status quo a plausible and fruitful endeavour.

All this to say that there’s an offhand mention at one point about ‘intracorporate violence’ increasing and the system being increasingly unstable, and I’m curious what Wells is going to do with that going forward. Especially with the book’s final resolution and the status quo it sets up going forward.

Anyway like I said, it’s murderbot. This is the 7th book in the series. If you’re considering reading it you’ll probably love it.

[peachy-panic]

To Steady Your Hand

Do No Harm, still early in the Sebastian Contract. 

WARNINGS: BBU/BBU-Adjacent, past surgery, lingering medical issues, nerve damage, maybe the closest I’ve come to some genuine moments of fluff (sprinkled with some pain)

Sebastian is going out on a limb. He can recognize that. But even after several weeks in the house, Jaime gives very little outward indication of what he genuinely enjoys. What he likes. In no particular order, he seems to derive joy from exactly three things: running outside, cooking with Sebastian, and cleaning. The last one makes Sebastian nervous, because it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to infer that he might be feigning some of that enthusiasm to fall into the role he thinks he’s here to fill. It does, however, seem to bring Jaime a sense of peace sometimes, so he tries not to interfere.

Still, it’s not enough. His goal was never to give Jaime a place to survive in stasis until the next bad thing comes along. He wants him to be happy here. He wants to make him feel like he has the space to be a person, and that means knowing what he likes. So when Sebastian finally catches a glimpse, he latches on with both hands.

They are in the checkout line at the drugstore when it happens.

It had been a precarious trip, both of them a little on edge after their first attempt at a store-based outing went to utter shit. Thankfully nothing of note happened, other than Jaime hovering a little closer than normal, his eyes scanning their surroundings every few seconds as if they were being hunted for sport. By the time they’re ready to pay, Sebastian is so eager to get them both in the safety of his car, he almost misses it: they way Jaime’s eyes catch on the end cap closest to the register and stay there.

Jaime, who has been flighty and anxious since stepping foot through the door, is suddenly engaged and… curious?

Sebastian does a double take, then follows his eye line. He doesn’t know what he expected, but a flutter of endeared surprise catches in his chest as he looks at the display of nail polish.  

After a brief, internal tug-of-war, he decides to sit on the information for now. Buying it now might draw attention to the fact that Sebastian caught him staring, and he doesn’t want to embarrass him or worse. So he pockets his change from the bored-looking cashier, grabs his bag, and they head home.

A few days later, on his way home from work, Sebastian swings by the store to pick up more lunch meat, fresh strawberries, and a bottle of Essie sky-blue nail polish.

He places it on the countertop as he’s unloading the bag. Jaime, who is perched in a barstool across from him, blinks down at it. He is quiet for a long time.

Sebastian does his best attempt at casual. “The color caught my eye.” He shrugs. “Have you ever painted your nails before?”

Color blossoms in Jaime’s cheeks, and Sebastian feels the first pang of doubt. Maybe this wasn’t the right move. Maybe it’s too soon after the pharmacy and he thinks Sebastian is calling him out. But Jaime doesn’t look away from the small bottle as he shakes his head, so Sebastian barrels forward.

“I used to do it sometimes. In college, mostly,” he rambles. “I wanted to before then, too. I tried it once, in high school, but my dad—” Oop. No. Nope. Go back. Abort mission. “Well. Anyway, I haven’t done it in years, and I saw this and thought… Maybe we could try? Together? If you want. Only if you want to.”

To his distress, Jaime frowns. “I…” he starts, then stops, looking down at his hands all of a sudden. He places one over the other, his fingers delicately hiding what Sebastian knows to be an incision scar. “I can’t promise I’ll be very good at it. My hand. Sometimes it’s hard, with… It’s not always very steady. I have trouble, sometimes.”

A rising dread creeps up on Sebastian, one he cannot will away. He swallows. “Jaime.” His voice comes out a whisper. “When did that start?”

He knows. He knows the answer, and he’s terrified of it, and he needs to hear him say it out loud, all at once.

Jaime ducks his head, drawing his shoulders up half and inch, and Sebastian knows he needs to tread carefully. Needs to pull himself back before he upsets him even more. But he needs to know.

“It doesn’t get in the way, mostly,” Jaime says in lieu of an answer. “I hardly notice it anymore.”

Almost definitely a lie.

Sebastian notices his own hands are shaking now, so he presses them flat against the countertop. He just needs to rip the bandaid off.

“Jaime. Was it after the surgery?”

The surgery.

A piss-poor fucking euphemism for the institutionalized, medically-sanctioned torture that it was.

The surgery that Sebastian himself performed on a patient who was strapped down and screaming to the point of unconsciousness.

The surgery he performs over and over in his nightmares.

Jaime gives him all the confirmation he needs when he says, “It’s not your fault.”

A surprised laugh sputters out of Sebastian, but it sounds more like a sob. Feels like it, too. Because of course Jaime would say that. Of course his first reaction is to show Sebastian undeserved grace. Of course his first instinct is to take care of Sebastian’s feelings first.

“Can you…” He swallows, trying to be professional. “Can you tell me what it feels like? Is it painful? Numb?”

“It almost never hurts,” he says quickly, like he’s dying to reassure him further. “It’s…” He runs his fingertip over the inside of his opposite index finger. “I can’t really feel this part anymore, but really, it only affects me when I’m working with small stuff. I just don’t know how precise my work would be with painting nails.”

Sebastian is still caught in his own private tunnel of horror. The way Jaime is speaking about it so casually only twists his insides tighter. He is living with permanent nerve damage from a scalpel that Sebastian wielded. He had volunteered—insisted—to be the one to perform the surgery under some misguided notion that he would somehow be sparing him further pain and dehumanization, but his inexperience or his nerves or Jaime’s rightful panic or… or something had caused him to slip and sever a nerve, and he didn’t even know.

How did he ever expect Jaime to trust him? Or even like him?

He doesn’t know how to make this right. He doesn’t know if it’s possible to even come close.

“Jaime, I—”

“I’d like to try,” Jaime says quietly, looking up at him through earnest eyes. “Painting our nails. If you still want me to. If you don’t mind that it's a little shaky.”

Sebastian blinks away the burn in his eyes. These aren’t his tears to cry, anyway. And if Jaime doesn’t want to talk about this now, as he very clearly does not, the last thing he should do is force it.

He smiles at him, and it’s only a little bit forced.

“I don’t mind at all.”

****

Jaime really does want to do a good job.

He is a little more than suspicious about where this idea sprouted from, but at least Sebastian is kind enough not to admit that he found Jaime looking at the store.

He doesn’t really know why it caught his eye in the first place. It’s not like he’s ever been overly into nails before. The only association he has is a distant memory, almost completely faded with time, of him and his mother at the kitchen table. It was summer, he’s pretty sure. He can remember the natural light coming in from the bay window and the faint scent of his mother’s favorite peppermint tea mixed with the sharp, clean smell of nail polish. He would watch her paint each hand, and she would sometimes offer to do his, but he could only even sit still long enough for one or two.

He blinks away the half-memory before it can take him, resettling himself in Sebastian’s living room. They’ve each taken one side of the coffee table, legs folded under them on the soft carpet. The little blue bottle and a box of tissues sits between them.

“So,” Sebastian says, drumming his fingertips on the wood. “Who wants to go first?”

This catches him off guard. Jaime studies him for a moment, making sure he’s come to the right conclusion before speaking it out loud. “You… want to paint mine, too?”

“Oh.” Sebastian’s eyebrows raise a fraction, as if he hadn’t realized it wasn’t obvious to both of them. “Only if you want to! I was thinking we could paint each other’s, but if you don’t want to, that’s totally fine, too. We don’t have to even do this at all. I can return this. Or just throw it away. I can dump it down the toilet and we can pretend this never happened.”

Jaime has lived with Sebastian long enough to start to recognize his nervous humor, and he’s fairly certain this is it. It’s strange, the feeling that he might be able to laugh at something his Keeper says, but he has to press his smile into the side of his hand to keep it contained.

“What?” Sebastian laughs, seeming genuinely relieved by his amusement. He picks up the bottle, waving it between them. “You think I won’t go pour this down the drain right now? Because I will.”

Jaime nods, humoring him. “I believe you,” he says. “I… Yes. You can paint mine, if you want to.”

Sebastian’s smile falters, just a little. “You’re sure? You really don’t have to do it just for me.”

Jaime folds his fingers over his palm, studying the pink-pale color under his nails. Then he nods. “I want to try.”

Jaime offers to go first. He figures if he can study Sebastian’s technique, he might be able to emulate it when it’s his turn and do a better job. He watches as he shakes the bottle, a small clicking sound rattling around the bottle. Sebastian starts to reach for him but stops before he comes close to touching Jaime’s hand.

He looks up at him, smiling apologetically. “Is it alright if I touch you? Just here,” he says, tapping the table near Jaime’s fingers. “Just to steady your hand?”

When Jaime takes a moment to respond—not out of any real hesitation, but perhaps caught off guard by the request for permission—Sebastian pulls his fingers back an inch.

“You can say no. We’ll make it work either way.”

Jaime clears his throat, suddenly thick with saliva. “I think it’s okay.” It’s Sebastian who hesitates this time, so Jaime tries again, more confidently. “It’s okay. I don’t mind.”

“Yeah?”

Jaime nods.

“Okay.” Slowly, slow enough to broadcast his movements, Sebastian slips two fingers under Jaime’s, pulling his hand toward his side of the table. He checks in with a glance at least twice before he gets to work.

And this is… Jaime doesn’t know what it is. Sebastian’s skin is warm and soft under his, his touch so gentle and undemanding that he doesn’t know what to do with it. It’s not the first time Sebastian has touched him. A slew of memories from the clinic—most of which he would rather not revisit—come to mind. He had always been kind, both in spirit and in touch, but something about the tenderness he is showing Jaime now knocks him off balance.

He watches, a bit hypnotically, as his long fingers drag the brush over each nail, leaving him spotted in blue. Small flecks smudge onto his cuticles and the skin around his nails, but it still looks good. The color was a good choice, he thinks.

“Still okay?” Sebastian asks when he finishes the first hand.

Jaime nods and surrenders his other hand easily. Sebastian’s eyes only linger on his scar for a second or two before he sets his focus on the job at hand.

“I was thinking,” Sebastian says after a stretch of quiet, “maybe we can set you up with a physical therapist. Someone who… well, who works with…”

“Companions,” Jaime offers.

He winces. “Yes. Under the table, though. Someone who would treat you kindly. That would be non-negotiable.” Jaime looks up at him and Sebastian looks up from his work long enough to scan his expression. “Would that be something you’re interested in?”

“For my hand,” Jaime surmises. Sebastian nods. “You don’t have to do that for me.”

“Well, the matter of my responsibility to you as a human, a doctor, and the person whose name is on your contract is a whole other debate.” He flashes a smile that looks more like a grimace. “But all that aside, it wouldn’t be out of obligation. It would be because I genuinely want to help you. And this might be a real way I could do that.”

A few seconds pass. There is a strange sensation in Jaime’s chest, like stretching a muscle he hasn’t used in a long time. His first instinct is a collection of pre-conditioned responses that were hammered into him in training—polite agreement, smooth avoidance, gratitude. None of them feel right at this moment, and the indecision chokes him up.

Sebastian saves him by speaking again. He drops his freshly painted pinky finger and meets his eyes. “You know, Jaime,” he says, “I think maybe I haven’t done a good enough job of making that clear to you.” In anyone else’s voice, in any other inflection, the words might have set him on edge. The words don’t scare him now.

“Making what clear?”

“That I really want to help you.”

“You have,” Jaime is quick to assure him.

“No, but—” Sebastian pauses, breathes. “I want to do more than the bare minimum. You deserve more than the basic necessities it takes to survive. I know this is… I mean, I can’t even really imagine what it’s like for you to try and talk about this, so we don’t have to linger. But what happened to you? What keeps happening to you? You don’t deserve to live like this, Jaime. There is nothing about you that makes you any less of a person.”

Jaime knows, somewhere buried deep beneath layers of toxic conditioning and learned behaviors, that there is truth in what Sebastian is saying. He believed that once. But Jaime knows now that things aren’t so simple; that justice and righteousness are only as fair as the systems that uphold them. And in the eyes of this governing body, this law, this society, he is less. And ultimately, one man’s objection to that isn’t enough to change anything.

But maybe Jaime can let it be enough for this moment. Maybe he can let it be enough for him, just for a little while.

“You know someone?” Jaime asks tentatively. “A physical therapist?”

“I could find someone,” Sebastian promises. “There are people out there. Networks of them who feel the same way I do. I know people who—” He stops suddenly, the tips of his ears going a little pink. “Well. Anyway, yes I could find someone. You would have a say in it, too. I wouldn’t force you to see anyone you weren’t completely comfortable with.”

Jaime’s answering silence is heavy with ingratitude, he knows it is, but his head is spinning. This privilege that would have, should have, once been a right doesn’t feel like it belongs to him or that it ever could. Despite all that Sebastian has done to prove otherwise, the smallest part of him still bellows out in warning: Lie, lie, lie, trap, trap, trap. But it isn’t either of those things. Jaime knows it isn’t, deep down.

“You don’t need to answer me now,” Sebastian assures him softly before he can respond, and Jaime feels a little bit relieved and a little bit like a failure. “In fact, we can let this drop completely. This—” he waves the tiny paintbrush between them “—is meant to be fun. But… You know, just something to think about. Yeah?”

Once again, Jaime substitutes a nod where his words fail him, and they ease back into the task at hand.

When it comes time to paint Sebastian’s nails, Jaime does an okay job. Neither of them mention the slight shakiness in his grip or the way his precision sometimes veers off course. When he goes out of line, Sebastian just hands him a tissue, he wipes the polish from his skin, and they move on.

He mirrors the position that Sebastian took with him, sliding two fingers under his. As he works, he can’t help but study the hands in front of him. There is a faint pinkish-white to the flesh around his nails, and slivers of peeled skin beside his cuticles. Jaime thinks about the times he’s seen him biting his nails, usually when he is nervous. He always seems to be a little bit nervous around him.

He also notices a stillness in him that can’t be anything but intentional. The way every movement is slow and careful, and the way he keeps his contact overly gentle, convincing Jaime, reminding him, over and over, that his hands are not to be feared.

When they each have two coats of sky-blue at the tips of their fingers, they stay on the floor but lean back against the couch, side by side.

“Can I take a picture?”

Jaime blinks at him. “Of… me?” He doesn’t remember the last time anyone asked him that. He’s had photos taken in the last couple of years, of course, but always in much different contexts, and never with his permission.

Sebastian looks a little sheepish, pulling out his phone. “Of our hands. Would that be okay?”

“Oh,” he breathes. “Sure.”

They hold their hands out in front of them, close enough to fit into frame but not enough to touch, and Sebastian snaps the photo. Jaime doesn’t ask to look at it, but Sebastian shows him anyway.

A week later, when Jaime spots a four-by-four print pinned to the refrigerator with a smiley-face magnet, he finds himself smiling right back.

**

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[bringthekaos]

I love your interpretations of Jayce and Viktor, so in your expert opinion, which is the best way that they first get together?

A- they're adults about it and one asks the other out for supper (yeah right)

B- after months/years of pining, one breaks spectacularly and kisses the other without warning

C- the sexual tension gets so palpable they both break at the same time and throw themselves at each other like horny wild animals

D- one has a function brain cell and decides to blantantky seduce the other, results vary

Hmmmmmm juicy juicy question.

I think we all know it wouldn’t be A. The boys are too emotionally constipated 🤣

I think definitely option B. Perhaps with a dash of D (haha dick joke).

When I started my Our Hextech Dream series, I had Jayce make the first move. And while I love how I wrote it, with Jayce unable to keep his hands off of Viktor, if I had to go back and write it again, I think I might change things up. I think Jayce would be head over heels infatuated, but terrified to make a move. He’s unsure, he thinks maybe he’s misinterpreting Viktor’s signals (when in reality a bomb would be more subtle than Viktor’s ‘signals.’) He values what they have, their camaraderie and working relationship; they flow so well together, it’s like their minds are connected. They finish each other’s sandwiches sentences, they move around each other in the lab like a practiced waltz. And Jayce doesn’t want to ruin that, doesn’t want to risk the beautiful synergy they already have.

Meanwhile Viktor is very aware of Jayce’s attraction, can see him staring out the corner of his eye, can note the way Jayce’s breath catches when Viktor softly speaks his name. He’s noticed the lingering touches, the lingering gazes, and on more than one occasion, Jayce biting his lip when Viktor speaks in his mother tongue. He knows, but he’s unsure as well—why hasn’t Jayce acted? Yes, such a thing could complicate their work on Hextech, but clearly Jayce’s feelings are getting in the way of that anyway; he’s making more errors, fumbling more calculations, and all because he’s so busy gazing at Viktor like he hung the stars.

So Viktor decides to lay it on thick—throwing everything he’s got at Jayce in an attempt to make him break, make him finally admit. He initiates an assault of playful physical touches, starts using endearments in their conversations. And he gets a sickly sweet satisfaction from watching as these things slowly drive Jayce mad with want…

Yet still he doesn’t break. So Viktor starts getting frustrated too, takes it as a personal challenge. And one day it all comes to a head. Jayce is already frazzled, as Viktor had called him darling when he’d brought over two steaming mugs of coffee. And when he’d reached out to offer Viktor one of the mugs, Viktor paused to cup his hand, soothing his thumb back and forth over Jayce’s knuckles in a gesture of gratitude and offering up what he knows to be one of his most devilishly coy smiles. Jayce loses his breath like he’s been shot, but instead of saying anything, he just turns for the chalkboard and begins hurriedly erasing their work from the previous day. He mumbles about whatever project they’re working on, but clearly he’s distracted and anxious—he keeps losing his train of thought and his hands tremble so badly that he ends up breaking the stick of chalk in half in his fervor.

And that’s it, that’s all Viktor can take.

He grumbles a painfully fond “you idiot,” and storms over, hardly slowing the momentum of his body before crashing against Jayce and slamming their lips together.

Jayce lets out a squeak of surprise into Viktor’s mouth, but instantly gives in—that shock turning to wanton, pitiful need that rumbles as a low whimper in his throat. Viktor isn’t sure how long they stay like this, lips claiming lips and tongues claiming tongues, but by the time they separate he’s breathless and dizzy. And Jayce appears equally affected—a dopey grin on his face and a wobble in his knees.

“You are impossible,” Viktor barks, shaking his head in disbelief. “I’ve been trying to get you to do that for months.”

Ugghhh what a fun ask. Would love to hear how everyone else thinks it would go down!

[kookieswan]

Ooo I don’t really have a specific request for headcanons/drabbles but maybe something fluffy involving NoW Yoongi? Like I wonder how he’s been doing. Has he been learning more about dating after the whole Jimin and Tae situation?

……. I have the perfect idea.

BAKING WITH NOW!YOONGI 🌸♥️

Chaos. Pure chaos but the fun kind.

You mention that you haven’t had cookies in a super long time and would love to make some from scratch since you always just buy the dough (and end up eating it).

“Cookies…? What is a cookie?”

Cue have to explain what a cookie is and what “from scratch” means. You essentially tell Yoon that baked goods are easier to make a specific way if you do them yourself. (Fluffy vs. Flat cookies is an example you use.)

He’d be very attentive, tentacles slowly slithering around you as he listens closely and looks at the pictures you pull up.

“It looks odd, almost like a rock. You are sure it is edible?”

Best believe you’ll be going to the store in the same day for all the ingredients because the wonder in his eyes was too much to handle. You need to make those cookies NOW.

“I have been waiting patiently. Is it cookie time now?”

It’s cookie time.

He’ll rummage through all the bags as you preheat the oven, being especially curious about the flour (it’s puffing out of the bag a little).

He’ll insist that he’ll be nothing but helpful as you get all the utensils ready.

He’s wrong, but it’s the thought that counts and you appreciate his help either way.

Tentacles would be everywhere; one trying to get something out of the fridge, two attempting measure out the flour, etc. it’s terrifying, hilarious, and endearing all at the same time.

“I have no need for human work, but I would be a very good chef. Your human knows nothing.” (Still a sore spot)

Yoongi would watch you take over, quietly contemplating to himself.

He may have peeked though the door once when Tae was over and saw Jimin do something that Tae liked, so…

A tentacle suddenly slaps your butt when you’re putting the round balls of dough onto the sheet, and the single ball might fly out of your hand as you turn to Yoongi with wide eyes.

Did the fish man just slap your ass?

Yes. Yes he did. And he looks very proud.

“I am showing affection. Do you like it?”

You don’t know wether to laugh or cry so you just say that it’s a very intimate gesture and Yoongi seems to understand.

He does it once more before the cookies finish.

It takes everything you have to keep him off the cookies after you pull them out of the oven. They’re very hot and you don’t want him to burn his mouth.

“I can handle it. I am very strong.”

Sure he is. You slap a tentacle with a wooden spoon more than once.

When you finally give him one…? Good luck keeping him away. He had a newfound love for chocolate chip cookies. The man will literally beg for them lmao.

“The human gets none. They are yours and mine only… A courting gift?”

[gripefroot]

Crooked Ways [14/22]

Training had lost its appeal. 

Perhaps the novelty of the gravity sensors had worn off; perhaps he’d outmatched the robots one too many times. Regardless, halfway through a training session Vegeta punched the stop button on the console, his ears muffled by the sudden silence as the machinery shut down. Once silent, the churning emotion inside of him took precedence. With a grunt he sank onto the floor by the center console, folding his arms and closing his eyes. 

It was a technique that had gotten him through awful moments before. Though what the awfulness was in this case, he couldn’t be sure. He’d seen no death for months; killed none. The lack of real fighting had worn on him, that was true, but Vegeta had brought himself to the physical brink of training enough to offset his violent urges. Or so he believed. 

Stretching out his legs, he inhaled deeply through his nose, and exhaled it more slowly. And again. And again. And again. The sweat on his body dried to a prickle, making him itch. He didn’t move. Outside the pod the chatter of the groundskeepers drifted by and faded. Helicopters came and went, as was normal for the compound. Someone whistled. A dog barked. 

The door opened. 

Vegeta didn’t need to open his eyes to know it was Bulma. Every cell of his skin flared, heightened awareness to the perfume she’d been wearing all week and the familiar traipse of her footfalls before it stopped right in front of him. 

Several moments passed before he sensed her crouching beside him. Then a soft kiss alighted his cheek, then the other, then her soft palm cupping his jaw while she positively rained kisses over his face. 

“What’s this?” he grunted, unwilling to show how much he liked it. 

“You know,” Bulma said between kisses. “When most people meditate they look like they’re about to fall asleep. You look about one second away from exploding.”

Vegeta grunted again, the tension disappearing from his muscles. Finally he unraveled, reaching out to hold Bulma by the hips as she crawled over his lap with a smile. This dress wasn’t as revealing as the one he’d loved earlier in the week, but it still gave him a perfect feel of her shapely rear. 

“Oh, Vegeta,” she sighed, lips pressed to his hairline. “My sullen Saiyan prince.” 

A shiver raked up his spine with claw-like violence. He couldn’t breathe, not until he squeezed his eyes shut and forced his body to start working again. 

“Since when do you possess me?” he asked hoarsely.

“Since you melted when I kissed you,” Bulma said. She wouldn’t know, then, what the possessive meant to him. What it meant to all Saiyans. Speaking his next words took the courage that killing a foe never had, and Vegeta’s gut twisted and turned before he managed, 

“All endearments in the native Saiyan tongue are preceded by my,” he told her. The stroke of her fingertips along his cheek wanted to pull him under his spell, but he had to say it. “Because it’s…strong. Dominating. V-victorious.” He swallowed with a tiny groan, her lips on his jaw. Gripping her hips more tightly, he panted out a breath in little puffs. At least with her on all fours straddling his lap, she wouldn’t feel his erection. 

“That’s cute,” she murmured. “It’s the same here. Sometimes, at least.”

Vegeta didn’t say that in matters of courtship, claiming one as one’s own was akin to a betrothal. Bulma wouldn’t know she’d just proposed marriage to the Prince of all Saiyans, and the prospect of telling her her gaffe terrified him. 

It didn’t mean the same to her. It wouldn’t mean the same in her native tongue rather than in the Saiyan language. 

But the tug in his chest told him that his excuses were paltry. He was hers, in a way he’d been no one else’s, and he was undone by a single word. 

“How - how were the meetings today?” he choked out. 

Bulma’s fluttering kisses ceased. Slowly she pulled away, head tilted curiously to the side to regard him. “You’ve never asked that before,” she said. “What’s going on?” 

“N-nothing.” 

“I can see right through you, you know. Spill it.” 

Vegeta couldn’t say it. Couldn’t say anything of the hurricane ravaging him deep inside, couldn’t say anything of what closed its fingers over his throat and held him under. So instead he touched the ends of her bright hair, twisting the strands around his fingers. Her hair was delicate and fine next to his skin; scarred and mottled and calloused. 

“You’re my woman,” he said at last, barely above a murmur. “I won’t be possessed unless I possess in turn.” 

Bulma’s laugh was sweet, inches from his ear. “Of course you won’t. The meetings were fine, by the way. I’m just glad today was the last day. Next week is the annual audit but Dad promised he’d go so I wouldn’t have to.” 

“So you’ll be around to bother me more?”

She smiled ear to ear. “Yes. I hope you’re ready.” 

“I anticipate my new battle suit.”

Her smile tightened, eyes rolling slightly. “Blah, blah, blah. Will your demands never stop?”

“No,” Vegeta said, an arm curling around her back to tug her into his arms. “Never.” He ate up her giggles in a series of open-mouthed kisses, savoring each noise as a delicacy he’d never been allowed to feast on so freely. 

“We could go eat dinner,” Bulma suggested a while later, when her hand was splayed on his chest and he was contemplating how much her slap would hurt if he tried to test the weight of her breasts in his hands. 

“We could.” 

“Aren’t you hungry? You trained all day, didn’t you?”

“Not all day,” he said. Then, “I’m not particularly hungry for food.”

Disappointment made a pout of her kiss-swollen lips. “More training?” 

“No.” 

“A movie?”

Movies meant kissing. If he spent more time kissing her, he really would explode. And it wouldn’t be dignified, befitting a prince. 

“Well, I’m hungry,” Bulma said with a toss of her hair. “I’m going to eat. Stay here and pout if you’d like, but I’m going.” She crawled off her lap with questionable dignity, tugging down her skirt to cover her legs. 

“You could ask me to come with you,” Vegeta pointed out, put-out that he was left alone on the ground with only an erection for company. 

“Far be it from me to make such a demand on a prince’s time.” But she was smiling over her shoulder, bending over to scoop up her discarded shoes. “Come on, Vegeta. Let’s eat.”

~

Vegeta watched the streaks of moonlight coming through the blinds of his window move across the ceiling, the pace annoyingly slow. On some planets, moons and stars positively danced their way over the horizon. More than once he’d been kept awake on patrol or after a battle, mesmerized by the heavenly bodies. Earth had no such perks. Of course. 

Fingers laced behind his head, and still in his training clothes, he hadn’t been able to shed his internal disquiet making itself so known in his actions. Or lack of actions, rather. He hadn’t eaten his usual feast, and uncharacteristically been enthralled by a television show about lizards. Bulma had fallen asleep a few minutes in, using his thigh as a pillow. A few weeks earlier he would have pushed her off, but he found that he no longer had the heart for it, and his leg had gone numb before the credits rolled. 

She was more fatigued by the conference than she had admitted. Vegeta snorted at the thought - the woman had enough pride to be a true Saiyan, even if she didn’t have the power for it. 

This restless, (though he hadn’t moved a muscle since laying down) he should have gone to the training pod to exhaust himself until he had no choice but to pass out. 

He was getting soft. 

A barely-audible scratch at the door filled his ears. Then the knob turned. 

Vegeta hoisted himself to an elbow, watching Bulma’s dark form move closer, almost silently. She wore her pajamas that didn’t deserve to be called such, her curls flattened, possibly by tossing and turning. 

“Why are you here?” he asked roughly. The light years in difference between her bandaging him or him bringing her a meal in bed and this, whatever it was, didn’t escape him, stupid as he felt by the sight of her bare feet nervously digging into the carpet. 

“Vegeta,” she said, then stopped. After a deep breath her tongue darted out to wet her lips. “You’re supposed to be good at sex, aren’t you?”

Oh, hell. He knew that was going to come back to haunt him.

“Saiyans are known for it, yes,” he said.

“Well,” Bulma said. She took another step closer, now a streak of blue from head to toe in the moonlight. “Show me.”

What little brainpower he possessed when she stood in front of him, let alone in this state, fizzled out. “Huh?” was all he managed. 

“Please,” she added. Her posture was so nervous that Vegeta almost started fidgeting himself. She shifted her weight foot to foot, she fingered the hem of her top, her lips pursed side to side. “If you don’t want to, just say so!” Bulma blurted. 

“No! I mean - I do, it’s just that…” 

I never had the chance to learn such a pillar of my cultural heritage. But on the other hand…how often had Vegeta been handed such a glorious opportunity? If this didn’t recalibrate his mind, didn’t put him back on track of training, he may as well give up fighting entirely. He reached out a hand to her, well out of her reach, but with a puff of relief she launched herself onto the bed and into his arms. 

Just what I need, he decided when their clumsy lips found each other in the dark. I’ll satiate my urges and get back to training in the morning. 

Vegeta attempted to recall, somewhat belatedly, all the information on Earth women and how they experienced sex that he’d digested. It was gone. Completely gone. 

But that was just as well. In the moonlight with only him and Bulma and her body sending him signal after signal, his body responded to each one in perfect turn. His fingers crawled up her front, noticing the way her stomach tensed and twitched along his path. Good. She was responsive. That boded well. With a fingertip on the top button of her top, Vegeta drew in a shuddering breath before popping it through the hole. For a brief moment his forehead rested on hers, the sensation of standing on a cliff overlooking an endless, depthless sea tremored through him with licks of fear hot on his tail. 

How could he do this? How could he admit - how could he let her see - how could this - 

“Hey.”

Gentle hands cradled his face, tilting it until they faced each other. Just like he preferred, her hair spilled over the pillows, a crooked, rueful smile decorating her lips. 

“If you don’t - ” she began. 

“I do! I want this!” 

“Sheesh! No need to yell, I’m right here.” Bulma never stopped smiling, raking her fingers through his hair until he groaned like a damn animal. How did she do this to him? “Why don’t,” she suggested in a soft voice, “you kiss me.” 

“I’ll kiss you all night,” Vegeta said, hating the crack in his voice. “I’ll-I’ll never stop, I swear it.” 

“You’ll have to stop at some point,” she teased. 

“No! Do not tell me what to do!” 

He plundered a kiss worth a thousand demands, a million orders. He drank her up with his mouth until he’d fumbled through the rest of her buttons, rutting against her all the while. All his years of vapid self-control, of blustering aloofness, and cruel disdain, he was made a wretch of a coward at the first touch of a woman. 

No. No. He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t shame his ancestors in such a way. He’d do it and he’d do it well, and if Bulma walked away unsatisfied he’d simply train until he could emerge victorious. 

Vegeta dragged in a breath from between her lips, taking her moan with him. Into her shorts his fingers crept downward, noting the way her thighs trembled. His mouth found her neck, suckling gently until she gasped and squirmed and he realized his fingers were wet. 

He was already victorious. 

“Shh,” he growled in her ear. “You cannot wake up anyone else in the compound, no matter how much you want to scream. Do you understand?”

“Why?” she retorted breathlessly. “You don’t want a line of curious gawkers wanting their turn with your magical alien lovemaking skills?” 

“I will make love to no one but you.” He caught her earlobe between his teeth. “You’re my woman. Do you understand?”

“Y…yes.” Her sigh raised the hairs on the back of his neck. 

No matter what happened, he must not let himself fall into his own pleasure. Lose himself in the act. Bulma had asked that he demonstrate a skill, and so he would. He couldn’t let himself drown in her. 

Then again, Vegeta liked a dash of danger.