#they were the reason behind messi leaving and they're the only thing stopping him from coming back | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bloomingbluez · 1 month ago

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Friends Don't Lie

MDNI

"Luke and Sawyer's friendship goes way back. They're inseparable, compatible to the bones, unable to stay mad at each other… Unless it's about a girl, and about a girl it was. Everything would be alright, if Luke didn't lie.

But he did. And friends are not supposed to lie."

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pairing: sgfg!luke x original character

word count: 14.7k

tw: smut, referenced self harm

a/n:

hello! i hope you enjoy this little angsty story about sounds good feels good ! luke and my original character sawyer. i hope you like her, because my girl is messy, not going to lie.

thanks to my girl kaleidoscopecth for helping me tame the english language and being an amazing critic 🩷

feel free to leave me requests!

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Pounding on the door echoed through the entire Hemmings house. Luke had the impression that soon, it’ll conjure an earthquake that could crumble the foundation and knock down the walls. If only he had any motivation to pick himself up from the warm bed and open the front door… But Luke had none. The cold had been tormenting him for a week, —which also meant a week of house arrest and skipping school–, and because of that, he lay buried under the covers, with his chest slippery from a warming body balm. The usual, messy decor of his room was joined by a used pile of tissues on the dresser, and multiple empty mugs after tea and aspirin. Back on Sunday, when he started sneezing and his mum pulled out an old mercury thermometer from the cabinet above the fridge, the prospect of being sick seemed like the most appealing thing on Earth. Then, one by one, Luke lost the energy to play the guitar, his phone screen was too bright even on the lowest setting, and his fever reached the levels where Liz forced him to take cold baths. And at school… Suddenly, everyday there was something happening, people fighting and arguing, teachers playing movies instead of teaching a class, and giving out free A’s for bare minimum tasks like painting the best birthday card for their elderly cat. Fucking awesome!

Liz Hemmings raised her gaze from the pages of a very exciting crime novel. For some unknown reason, she assumed it had to be her husband, who once again didn’t feel like looking for keys in his leather briefcase. However, the banging didn’t stop, if anything, it only intensified. She wanted to call Luke, but remembered that she herself tucked him under the covers and prohibited from even going as far as to the bathroom. With a sigh, she rose from their beige corner sofa and opened the door for an unexpected intruder.

The woman squinted seeing Sawyer Ashwood on her doorstep.

“Good Morning, Mrs. Hemmings!” the blonde girl practically shouted, as soon as the door opened enough for the tiles in the hallway to become visible.

Sawyer Ashwood’s blond hair flew in all directions, free of the woolen hat she was crumpling in her hands despite the winter weather. Her navy coat stayed unbuttoned as always, although unlike some of the other high schoolers she wasn’t keeping it that way to show off her outfit; running out of school, the last thing she wanted to waste time on was something as mundane as closing all the buttons. It resulted in a furiously red blush on her cheeks, and a very similar color covering the tip of her nose. The chattering teeth were a nice addition to the team, but the girl didn’t seem to mind at all. Of course, Ashton was standing right behind Sawyer, his jacket buttoned up neatly, with the scarf tucked in tightly and a hat covering his ears. The only thing missing were Calum and Michael, but Liz would ask her questions later.

“Is Luke even still alive? He hasn’t texted in four days and yesterday, we were supposed to play GTA. But he never logged in! Ashton didn’t want to come. but I need a mediator in this conversation. Otherwise, I might rip his fucki- his head off,” Sawyer explained, falling into her usual chattiness. Out of all the Liz’s friends’ children, she started talking the earliest and hasn’t stopped ever since then.

“Luke is sick…”

Liz didn’t even have time to finish, because as soon as Sawyer heard that her friend was living and breathing, she rushed into the house. She quickly kicked her shoes off her feet and ran towards the stairs. Sawyer knew the Hemmings house as well, if not better, than her own. Whenever she and her parents would come over for dinner, they ended up staying the night. The Ashwoods occupied the guest room, while Sawyer and Luke sat on his bed under the blanket, reading comics and playing games until well past midnight. Sometimes, he would show her what song he was currently learning on the guitar and his mum would barge into the room, rushing them to sleep. There was also the fact that Ashwoods lived just a street away – it might have been a long street, but ever since Sawyer got a skateboard for Christmas, the distance didn’t scare her at all. Luke’s parents saw her as often as their own kids, and Sawyer saw them more than her own parents, who always ended up staying late at work or simply wouldn’t notice that their daughter wasn’t home.

Ashton calmly crossed the threshold and started unbuttoning his jacket with steady fingers. He was the most composed out of their friend group, and would often look with confusion at their erratic behaviour and ideas. That said, it didn’t mean he wouldn’t participate when it came to putting those ideas to live.

“We had to play with Dirk,” he explained.

“The one who pulled at her braids?” the woman asked.

Ashton confirmed. About a month prior, a boy from their grade made such questionable choices and decided to pull on Sawyer’s messy braids in the unofficial smoking area behind the school gym. Sawyer, as expected, didn’t bother with talking to the teacher and simply punched Dirk in his freckled nose, which ended with a hemorrhage for him and a principal visit for her. Talking to the teacher, Dirk disclosed that the last thing he heard before getting punched was Luke Hemmings’ tired not again, and then the blond was on him. The very next day, Evelyn Ashwood was sitting at Liz’s kitchen island, complaining about her daughter and her uncontrolled temper. It seemed to always be Evelyn’s favourite subject – she had to pick her daughter from school, talk to teachers, drive her to a mandatory psychologist appointment, maybe an anger management class, all for Sawyer to act up again and again, just to make her mother’s life harder.

Liz only sighed.

“Fine. In that case, go join them, I’ll make some tea. Just don’t sit too close to Luke,” she asked, and Ashton nodded in confirmation. He started climbing the stairs, before turning back to his friend’s mum.

“Calum and Mike will probably come in a bit. They still had classes when we left.” It was a nice way of saying that Sawyer skipped her last hour, since Ashton’s schedule was different. If anyone cared to ask, she would explain that Ashton was absolutely necessary in this scenario and she couldn’t let him go home, because then, he probably wouldn’t agree to come out again. Liz couldn’t care less; she was used to her son having these four basically attached to the hip. When Sawyer was expelled from their first high school, Luke basically begged her to allow him to switch too, since the girl was his best and only friend. Although she was sceptical at first, watching him find new friends never failed to put a smile on Liz’s face.

Of course, there has always been Sawyer, and Liz doubted she would ever disappear from her son’s life. Thankfully, her opinion of the girl was much more positive than her own mother’s. Some would even say that Liz treated her like one of her own… And it certainly was true. Sawyer would kill for Luke (scientifically proven, as she did beat people up in his name before), and Liz would never take affection like that for granted.

Entering through the doorway covered with posters of various rock bands, Ashton saw the blue navy coat draped over the guitar stand, as well as her red hat somewhere under the desk. He closed the door behind him, only to realise that Sawyer was already lying on the bed next to Luke, –the same Luke they were supposed to not sit too close to–, and vividly retelling everything that had happened at school during the last week. Every single time she gestured, and Sawyer talked with her whole body, Luke almost got hit with her fist across the face, but Ashton wasn’t there to save him. No, no – if Luke didn’t get sick in the first place, Ashton wouldn’t be forcefully dragged to a pottery class and Michael wouldn’t have to suffer through sitting with Sawyer during most classes, meanwhile Calum had to sit alone. It was their joint decision to let Sawyer eat him up, and only intervene if she got physical, but her rage over yesterday’s game seemed long forgotten. Without a word, Ashton sat down at the foot of the bed, listening to Sawyer’s exaggerated story by himself.

Luke, however, didn’t look like he needed saving at all. He shifted on his pillow and stared at Sawyer’s profile, inhaling her every word and organizing it in his head.

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Six years later…

He felt pathetic. Or maybe he simply was pathetic? Luke didn’t know. His life was falling apart before his very eyes, and he didn’t know how to stop it from happening, or whether he even wanted to stop it at all. Maybe what he needed was for everything to just crumble into ash – to get a fresh start. That depressive dilemma had appeared in his head ever since they came home from the last tour, and with it, Luke made a few questionable decisions. Not knowing where his life was at, he felt unable to find his footing, both physically and emotionally. The band was on hiatus, even though their friendship stayed intact. The label clearly communicated that if the next song that they deliver wouldn’t be a hit, the hiatus might as well turn into a permanent solution. He wanted to write, chase the adrenaline of being on stage, but just thinking about the claustrophobic rooms and sharing a bed with Calum made him want to puke. Luke couldn’t remember when was the last time he ate a home-cooked meal, but surprise, the relationship with his parents and siblings also got strained ever since he turned eighteen and decided to be as independent as it gets, which somehow also meant not calling home. Then, there was Sawyer… The one person Luke really wanted to talk to, who was mad at him, and he couldn’t even be frustrated about it, because she had every right to hate him.

The need to sort his shit out was overwhelming, but he didn’t even know where to start. Parties became a perfect form of escapism for pretty much everybody, and thus drowning their sorrows in alcohol. Instead of looking for solutions, his thoughts circled the same situations, even though Luke thought them through millions of times. Funny, since he wasn’t a person prone to reflection, certainly not in the context of his own life. He couldn’t change the past anyway, and dwelling on it could be destructive.

“Fucking God, Luke…”

Ashton appeared out of nowhere, or maybe Luke was just too drunk to follow his movements. The red bandana sat unevenly on his head, and his eyes drilled into the blond’s face as if he was expecting him to do something. Well, good fucking luck because Luke rarely knew what people expected of him anymore. In his current state, he couldn’t bring himself to worry about Ashton’s concerned scowl. After the last few beers, he felt all warm and cozy inside, not the usual crazy drunk, and even Irwin wouldn’t fuck this up with his mothering.

“Sawyer is here,” Mike said, appearing out of the crowd that occupied the kitchen and beer pong table. His face was equally worried, and only after he announced their newest guest, the words and their meaning crushed into Luke like a truck.

His face turned pale. She was the epicentre of his whole plague, the moral dilemmas engulfing him every night before falling asleep. For a second, an idea struck him, —he could run away, lock himself in one of the bathrooms in their rental–, but Sawyer could already be noticed cutting through the people. Her blond hair bounced with every step, and the brown, constantly smudged wings gave her narrow eyes a military grade sharpness. The chapped lips, pulled into a thin line, were unnaturally closed. Luke would rather be talked to death by Sawyer, recently it’s been all he dreamed of, rather than being on the receiving end of this fury that radiated from her whole body. Fucking hell, he was not only the recipient, but also the reason.

“Shit…” he whispered to himself, taking a panicked step back, but Sawyer was already approaching; there was no way of escaping her, and Luke knew that too well from pure experience. Boys who messed with Sawyer Ashwood never met a happy ending, because she wouldn’t stop before making their lives miserable. They used to laugh about it, joke about having brownie points because of their bond. Except Luke didn’t know where that stood anymore. Could one mistake ruin a lifelong friendship? Apparently, because once Sawyer was close enough that he could count her freckles, her hand connected with his cheek without hesitation. This was what they used to laugh at, but now everyone watched with an open mouth, not knowing if they should laugh or call the police. Out of the corner of his eye, Luke saw Calum abandon his cigarette and some brunette on the terrace, making his way towards the scene.

“Fuck you, Luke,” she hissed through her teeth, her every muscle tense. “You’re such a motherfucking dick-”

A girl stepped away from the observers, standing between Luke and Sawyer. He swallowed hard; this wouldn’t end well. Her blue hair barely reached her shoulder and thick-rimmed glasses sat low on her nose.

“Sawyer, please, stop. This is my fault, don’t take it out on Luke. You’re embarrassing him.”

Sawyer pursed her lips and looked away from her. Her bottom lip actually seemed to quiver – it reminded Luke of many times when his friend was close to a breakdown and pushed it down for appearances. The facade fell, letting her muscles relax. Seeing that, Luke allowed his shoulders to fall. He didn’t even dare to look at Grace, because he worried it might pump his friend full of rage again. Or maybe an ex-friend? Luke knew one thing for sure; he looked at Grace way too many times to do it again without a guilty conscience, even though deep down he knew her words were pure bullshit.

“Fuck all of you,” the blond simply stated, before turning on her heel and heading for the main entrance. Watching her disappear in the crowd, losing the view of her head behind a corner, Luke felt like he didn’t know where he was himself. What the fuck did just happen? Only then did his cheek start to hurt, and he held up his hand to touch it. He needed to put something cool against it to prevent bruising; funnily enough, it was a trick Luke learned from Sawyer.

Grace approached him and placed her small hand on his shoulder. Oversized hoodie and black jeans swallowed her whole, but Luke remembered her figure even through the haze of all the alcohol. Involuntarily, he wondered if tonight she’s also wearing lace under all these clothes, but he shook the thought off in a second. It was the alcohol thinking, or so he wanted to believe. If not… Well, that would make Luke Hemmings a very shit human being. In reality, he was just too childish to forget how much fun it was to play with matches, even though everything around was getting engulfed by fire.

“Sorry about her-” Ashton’s scoff interrupted Grace. Luke could feel all the alcohol evaporating from his body. He noticed Calum pushing through the crowd towards them. Everyone around seemed to forget about the assault that took place when Hot In Here blasted from the speakers. “Is this funny to you?” she snapped at the drummer.

Ashton brushed a few strands of hair out of his eyes; he was getting ready to argue.

“You’re funny to me, Grace. If anyone here is taking it out on someone, it’s you, on both of them,” he stated nonchalantly. Calum reached them, and instead of standing in the clearly antagonistic circle, leaned against the nearest wall, giving him a good view of the argument.

“Then write a song about it or something, but stay out of this,” Grace whimpered, offended by his words. Luke focused on the floor, trying to get the memory of her hips, waist, stomach, thighs out of his head… “It’s not me who has a problem, it’s her!”

“You cheated on her,” Calum murmured, catching everyone’s attention. It was clear his head was working overtime to understand what was happening, yet he still managed to defend his friend.

“If it was me, I would also have a problem with it,” Michael added, making Ashton smile in triumph. If it was up to him, they could bully the blue-haired girl all night. Maybe it wasn’t within the traditional framework of fun, but he was having lots of it knowing that they’re one step closer to getting rid of her. The last thing he wanted was for her to get attached and Luke being too passive to do anything about it. It was clear he had to put on his paternal shoes once more, for one last dance.

Grace seemed outraged by his statement, although everyone in their group knew that Calum was right. In desperation, she looked towards Luke for help, but to no avail – he still watched the floor as if it was the most interesting thing ever. First of all, his friends weren’t wrong; Sawyer had every right to be pissed, and Luke knew it damn well. Second of all, he simply felt guilty, because even though all the anger concentrated on Grace, it takes two to tango.

“Luke, say something,” she tugged on his sleeve, completely ignoring the accusations.

“Luke, go chase your fucking friend,” Ashton corrected Grace, not so subtly kicking him in the shins. He received a pointed look, because after getting slapped, Luke didn’t need any more violence inflicted on him. Contrary to what his friend might have thought, his brain could still distinguish a completely wrong reaction from a good one.

“Grace…” She looked at him hopefully. “Come on, let me go.”

He left the rental after pushing through the people. Going back home definitely proved that keeping relationships can be complicated, because as much as everyone was proud, nobody had a problem showing that they should have handled certain things differently. On the contrary, random people from their school or the neighbourhood had no problems glueing themselves to the band, as if they were part of the group in the first place. Constant texting about free tickets, invites to the parties, or rather nagging whether they would like to organize them. The worst part was, it felt good to be liked and wanted after being sidelined by the label; it was certainly easier to allow those people in than make amends with their loved ones. When things got complicated, they simply decided to escape them by moving out, and now, vodka bottles covered the kitchen counter every weekend and their dinners consisted of instant ramen. It wasn’t smart in the longshot – Luke knew that when he saw another couple doing lines in the bathroom or people jumping to the pool from the balcony. But for once, he needed to rest. The smell of weed hung thick in the air, so when the fresh wind outside hit him, he almost gasped.

He ended up in their wanna-be courtyard. The path leading to the garage was fenced from the entrance pathway with a little, brick wall; the first week they moved in, Calum bumped into it with his car. Now, Sawyer Ashwood sat on top of it, a lit cigarette between her fingers.

Sawyer had never been drop-dead gorgeous. She had never taken his breath away, never made his heart rush. Her view never made his thoughts get clouded, obscuring his common sense. He would not jump into the fire after her, and not because she wasn’t worth it, but because Luke strongly believed that Sawyer would rise from the flames just to beat him up over making such a stupid self-sacrifice. Or worse, she would haunt him in the afterlife.

When Luke looked at Sawyer, the complete opposite happened. A wave of pure, uninterrupted thoughts would flood him, his heart and breathing slowed down to their natural rates, his hands stopped shaking… It was like a calm in the middle of the storm, like the realization that everything is going to be okay. Common sense broke through the intoxication. When he looked at her, he thought about the memories of their childhood and the carefree years that had long passed. With Sawyer, Luke could finally feel like a responsible adult, because she never really grew up. She would always need someone to pull her away from the trouble, from the fights, remind her that all this rage and chaos were hollow and pointless – only for Sawyer to pierce her own tongue in the school bathroom the next day and call in a hurry, because it started getting infected. With her, his life had an ounce of significance, because someone needed him, and Luke knew damn well that without Sawyer, he would fall apart so many times. At the end of the day, together they could fall apart just enough to still make sense.

He approached her slowly, hoping she would see him coming and they could avoid another fit of anger – it was a stupid assumption in Sawyer’s case, but nobody ever said that Luke was smart. Her hair was flowing in the wind, many dye jobs leaving it anything but the underlying blonde. The ends still had a green hue to them from her last idea, while towards the root, the color looked like the perfect peachy pink, to finally reveal the darker roots. The messy eyeliner and strategically placed white pencil made her eyes look more round, and the raspberry lipstick peeled off her chapped lips, staining the white cigarette paper.

Luke, for some reason, thought he’d be able to sit down next to her, but before he even reached the wall, Sawyer stood up and threw the cigarette under her sole, and then unceremoniously slapped him across the face, again.

And again.

And once more.

And yet again.

She finished, pressing her hand to her stomach. From the scowl on Sawyer’s face, Luke could tell that it hurt from all the blows – he did have an exceptionally chiseled jaw, and it wasn’t feeling much better. Maybe if they allowed her to actually fight people for more than one punch, she would build a stronger endurance.

“Are you done?” he asked, touching his throbbing cheek. Thankfully, she didn’t break the skin, because it would make rounds in the papers. Luke knew damn well that he could have stopped her, caught her wrist before she even landed the first blow, and every other one that followed. He also knew that he deserved it, and a part of him thought that taking the punishment was more honorable than running away from it. Bullshit. “Because it hurts…”

This time, Sawyer punched him in the chest with her closed fist instead. Luke looked at her with confusion, making her snort.

“I meant it, Luke, fuck off. You have no right to come crawling back to me, expecting that we’ll reminisce about the good old times and I’ll magically forget. You really fucked me up this time,” Sawyer admitted, brushing her unevenly cut bangs out of her eyes. Her voice was hoarse; from the cold, or from the cigarette, or maybe from crying, but it made something break inside him.

“That’s not what I expected,” he lied mechanically. Because that’s exactly what he expected – that’s how it happened in the movies. The power of friendship could overcome pretty much anything, and he knew Sawyer Ashwood from the diapers and breastfeeding. Theoretically, they could have lost touch multiple times throughout the years, but they never did, and that must have accounted for something. All Luke really wanted was to be back in his room, sitting on his bed, sharing a joint while he showed her how to play Wonderwall on his guitar. “Look, Sawyer… I don’t know what got into me that night. I never meant for any of this to happen. But maybe it’s for the better, ok? Grace is a bitch, the way she played it out–”

“Fucking God, Grace isn’t the one who decided to fuck her best friends’ girlfriend!” the blond interrupted him, clearly unable to take anymore of his pathetic explanations. It hurt him that she only seemed to blame him, not her ex. “It’s you, Luke! You’re the bitch! You’re a two-faced piece of shit who only thinks about himself!”

Luke fell silent and sat down on the wall. He looked at her, trying to keep his composure. Liz raised him better than to use verbal insults, and he was really holding himself back. But he wasn’t like one of her exes or boys who bullied her in high school; he deserved at least a bit of respect.

“Was it so hard to swallow that I was finally happy?! You have your fuck-ass band, and I have to read what happens to you from fucking gossip magazines, because all of the sudden I’m too lowly to be a part of your life! If you don’t want me anymore, why the fuck would you go and ruin the one thing where someone did actually want me?!”

“She clearly didn’t want you that much since she fucked me!”

Well, Luke got punched in the face again. He should have expected it. Looking into her resentful eyes, you couldn’t say that Sawyer was close to tears, because she wasn’t. Sawyer was angry, only angry. She had already cried too much over this, and if she was going to shed another tear, it wouldn’t be for the comfort of others. Luke should have known that he had broken something inside her, hurt her to the bones, but apparently, he only had enough empathy to see his actions as a favour.

“You’re such a dick…” she began again.

“Sure, Sawyer, you can insult me. I deserve it. But if you thought I did it on purpose, then maybe it’s a good thing you’re not part of my career, because that’s a place for friends, and friends know each other,” Luke spat out. Sawyer only shook her head, slowly losing energy for this. He wouldn’t understand it; she was naive to think he ever would.

Sawyer Ashwood knew Luke Hemmings before she even knew herself, but apparently it wasn’t good enough.

“Most of all, friends don’t lie, Luke. If you had told me when it happened…” Sawyer’s voice rose an octave higher. That was the worst part of everything, what actually hurt her so deeply wasn’t the cheating, but the fact that everyone kept it from her. She felt pathetic admitting that it was this simple; that Luke might have gotten off easy if he stayed honest. After months of ignoring her, missing birthday wishes and making her feel like shit, she would take him back if he had the balls – it made Sawyer feel weak and stupid.

She cleared her throat.

“If you had just told me you slept with her when it happened, I might have been able to swallow it.”

“I couldn't,” he said, forming a logical explanation in his head. Luke thought about it for a long time, before realizing that he never wants to be in a position where he would have to tell her. His reasons were so cliché, especially after always hearing from Sawyer that she was much more into women. Revealing this secret had no better purpose than to make a fool of himself, and Luke had enough of that on tonight’s record. He was sure when Ashwood looked up at the sky; sure that she would ask why, that she would want to know. “You say that now, Sawyer,” he added, shrugging.

Luke was just so fucking sure she would ask any time now.

But instead, Sawyer turned on her heel. She wanted to get out of this place, out of this situation and people who were wasting her time and energy and sanity. She had already wasted two decades on Luke, only to end up with a broken heart. Sawyer might not have been an internationally acknowledged artist or earn millions of dollars, but she expected so much more. Sawyer deserved so much more. For years, Sawyer Ashwood considered her life less than satisfying, –she didn’t have lots of friends, wasn’t particularly attractive, got average grades at best, had shit parents who couldn’t care less–, but at least she had Luke. She had a friend who would be there no matter what; but that train left the station a long time ago, and he jumped it before she could even notice. Funny how everyone around her always said that nothing good would come from her friendship with the four boys, but she always believed in them.

Now she was eating her own shit, because no way Ashton, Michael and Calum would take her side. They were his friends, his band.

“I couldn’t, because you would ask ‘Why did you do it, Luke?’, and look at me with your huge doe eyes, and I wouldn’t be able to blame it on alcohol. I was so wasted, Sawyer… But despite everything, I just didn’t want to see you with someone who wasn’t me.”

In one of the pop music videos, or a romantic comedy on Netflix, they would be seventeen and played by actors half their age. She would turn to him and start walking; he would do the same, just so they could meet halfway and kiss. A cute kiss – something seemingly deep to be romantic, but in a way that the movie could be rated PG13. That’s why, when Luke noticed Sawyer turn back towards him, he stood up and smiled to himself.

“Well, you did amazing, because I don’t want to see you ever again. Leave me alone. You’re too pathetic to look at Luke, so much that it hurts.”

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“There you go.” Ashton’s voice woke Sawyer from a trance. The blonde didn’t know why she agreed to meet with him. Maybe it was the shock – she didn’t expect the invite at all, and when it came, she texted back sooner than her mind could analyze every possible angle.

She kept on going back to everything that happened, trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together, as if it would give her any answers.

Just to make the rent, Sawyer shared her time between a reception desk at an art gallery and a rave club in the center. The first job was just for her, within the area of her interest, but the second one was what made the difference; at least on the nights when she wore a tighter blouse or her boobs were showing a bit more, and the tips would flow in much better than usual. She met Grace at that club, during her shift, feet hurting from standing around and hands constantly sticky from grenadine, no matter how many times she washed them. A petite, pink-haired girl approached the bar and ordered two drinks, one with alcohol, while the other one was without. Sawyer asked her why would anyone stay sober at a rave, and Grace shrugged, admitting that technically, her date wasn’t off the clock yet. Sawyer decided not to comment, but then, right after she presented the drinks on the counter, Grace pushed the mocktail towards her with a cocky smile.

They seemed like the perfect match from the beginning, or maybe Sawyer just liked that when she was with Grace, her thoughts were taken off everything else. When they were together, she didn’t feel the need to google her best friend’s name or look through his recent concert videos on Twitter. She wasn’t tempted to text him or call him, even though she knew he wouldn’t pick up and minutes after being sent to voicemail, Sawyer would be deleting any traces of her call from their chat because she felt embarrassed. Then, she would get mad and scream into her pillow. Then, she would punch the pillow, but that didn’t change the fact that she felt stupid.

Sometimes, you have to beat stupidity out of someone, her father would always say. So Sawyer would; her open palm connecting with her cheek, sometimes harder and sometimes missing the aim completely. Sometimes concentrating the blow on her nose rather than the cheek, or hitting the lip with her nail, making it bleed. She would slap until the cheek was red and first tears streamed down the burn.

But she didn’t need that with Grace. She was the perfect distraction, and enjoyable at that. Sawyer could really see herself falling for that girl – her humor, her body, the way she kissed her worries away and made her scream without much effort. Grace always made the cutest promises and gave the most convincing arguments… And turned very fast from sweet to bitter, over the smallest things. But Sawyer would much rather cry over her relationship than the guy that clearly forgot she ever existed. At least Grace wanted to talk to her and touch her and kiss her in public; at least she wasn’t ashamed.

She clearly didn’t want you that much since she fucked me!

It made Sawyer feel so stupid, to not notice any signs before. No matter how many times she analyzed the course of the four months since she and the band reconnected, she couldn’t find any hint that this would happen. Grace didn’t seem fazed by her girlfriend knowing a pretty famous band. She wasn’t rendered speechless by shaking Calum Hood’s hand. She sure as hell didn’t seem to be attracted to any of them. Hell, for all that Sawyer knew, Grace was a full on lesbian. All of that made her go in circles around those few memories she had of their interactions, trying to find the moment when Luke looked at Grace differently, or where her body language changed. She tried to find the solution to the problem until her head hurt and frustration set in, and from there, the line to screaming and kicking and hitting was very thin.

Irwin passed her a strawberry beer and sat down next to her. A few metres away, a group of high schoolers was starting to drink away to celebrate the weekend. Sawyer couldn’t look away, even though her gaze harbored a lot of disgust.

It’s on those parties where people would promise each other things, like friendship until the grave. Eventually, the only thing left of them was a hangover and disappointment.

“Look, if Luke sent you here to apologize for him…”

“Now, where did that idea come from?” Ashton asked, furrowing his brows. He took a swing out of his bottle, looking towards the group too. Back then, those parties seemed like a lot of fun, especially when they had to make a run for it away from police. Now, when his house would turn into a club every weekend, it just looked silly. “No, Luke didn’t send me. After all, you could say I’m a little pissed at him.”

Sawyer frowned. Maybe it made her naive, but his words simply didn’t make sense in her head. They haven’t been spending any time together recently, nowhere near what they used to. Her perception of Luke, Calum, Michael and Ashton changed from the real state of things to the way the media presented them, to their Instagram posts and fan commentary on their behavior. She felt left out – like just another consumer of their unbreakable friendship. She knew that the three guys would follow Hemmings into a hurricane, and honest to God, Sawyer couldn’t blame them. Maybe she would follow him too… Honestly, Sawyer was already losing it herself, how much she would be able to do in the name of their childhood friendship.

“Why? Ashton, you’re best friends.”

Ashton put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer, so that Sawyer could lean on him. She swallowed hard – Ashwood had never been that person, but recently, she really needed a hug. Another thing to add to the list of reasons of why she felt like a fucking idiot.

“I’m friends with you too, Sawyer.” She snorted at his statement. Sawyer expected him to roll his eyes, but he just stared at her with the same disappointment she gave to those kids. His arm dropped from her shoulder, and for a second, she wanted to protest, the weight leaving a phantom pain behind, but he already wrapped his hands around the bottle. “I mean it. Mike is mad at him too. He even said that if Luke won’t stop acting like this, we’ll need to look for a new guitarist. Calum basically breathed down his neck until he deleted Grace’s number and blocked her everywhere.”

She looked down on the pavement. Sawyer had always been hasty. She drew conclusions too quickly and then stubbornly wouldn’t admit her mistake. She hated that about herself, but couldn’t change that behaviour – or maybe she just didn’t want to, because it meant too much work. Everyone always told her at times like these that she should go to a specialist; her highs weren’t supposed to be this high and lows weren’t supposed to be this low. But Sawyer didn’t trust specialists, ever since a bunch of them proved unable to diagnose ADHD in her youth. Everyone told her parents that she was normal, because during an appointment she could sit calmly in an armchair instead of running around the clinic; then they would come back home, where she still couldn’t concentrate, remember the instructions or keep order. Her mum would get mad at her and stop talking to her own daughter until she cleans up her act; her dad would scream, because what fourteen year old forgets to put a plate in the dishwasher or can’t study for a simple math exam. They would call her lazy, an idiot, a fuck up. Sawyer would go to her room and cry, try to muffle it with her pillow or t-shirt, hell, sometimes even fist, because her dad would always say that she doesn’t get to cry because of her own incompetence. She didn’t know she ended up in a psychologist’s office at the end of her freshman year,it could have been her terrible grades or another fight, but it was on this doctor’s recommendation that she finally got a diagnosis…

…and an explanation that she couldn’t get angry about it, because it’s completely normal that it’s harder to diagnose girls.

Even when they prescribed her medication, Sawyer didn’t want to take it. Because of the doctors, she had to manage without the pills her whole childhood and most of the teenage years. If she did it for that long, she could also manage now. It was too late for therapy or other crap that everyone suddenly deemed necessary. All Sawyer wanted was to forget; if all of her symptoms were normal until now, she intended to continue treating them like that. Unfortunately, that very attitude made her unable to cope with it all, and as a result, Sawyer developed a series of traits that she didn’t try to get rid off, even though she could. In the end, she could blame almost everything on ADHD – even though, more often than not, it was the result of her sulking and oversights.

“Ash…” she sighed. “I appreciate it, okay? You know I love you. I- I love Luke too. I just can’t understand why none of you would tell me about it.” Sawyer shrugged.

Now, it was Ashton’s turn to act like the pavement was suddenly very interesting.

“You can’t tell me you didn’t know anything. It was Luke’s fault, yes, but you allowed me to be in a relationship with someone who cheated on me.”

“Sawyer, you know it wasn’t our place to tell you about it,” he cut in.

Sawyer pursed like lips into a thin line, because Ashton was right, as always. If they had run to her with this information, she would have been pissed at everyone; Luke would probably be lying in a grave right now, probably beaten to a pulp with an easel or another random item lying around her small room.

However, after a moment of silence, she asked quietly: “Is he even a bit sorry about the way he acted?”

It was just a shallow manifestation of her desires. Ashwood wanted him to regret it, even if he didn’t shed a tear. She wanted it to stay with him, etched on his consciousness forever, haunting his every relationship. First of all, Sawyer wanted Luke to realise that his pathetic excuses from the party were fucking worthless.

“He is.” Ashton hugged her again. It took him a second to find the right words. “Only… Hemmo style, you know.”

Sawyer knew. She could clearly imagine her friend drunk to the point of unconsciousness, with red eyes, babbling incomprehensibly to anyone who would listen. His style was to suppress problems, often more than necessary. Looking them in the eye… She had never seen Luke do that. Before it even occurred to him to draw conclusions, to come to the terms with consequences, he had to drink and fuck and party them away.

Not that Sawyer was any better.

“I know,” she muttered.

----------

“Hi.”

Sawyer jumped. The kitchen in her friends’ rental home was huge, even by her standard, and Sawyer grew up wealthy. A black bikini hugged her pale body, revealing many tattoos, and wet hair stuck to the nape of her neck. Without make up, her under eye bags could shine with all their glory, and pale lips almost blended in with her skin tone. She only wanted to grab more of the sparkling water before getting back to the swimming pool in their garden. When Ashton invited her last time they saw each other, she initially didn’t want to come, but caved in once Calum and Michael also texted her, nagging to agree. Luke was supposed to be gone, and it was the only fact to convince her – she was ready to rebuild the friendship with the remaining three boys, but the wounds from that night were still fresh.

She made an attempt to just move on and forget, even though that wasn’t something Sawyer would usually do. She truly meant it when she said that she wasted enough time and energy on everything to do with Luke in the span of the last few years.

Sadly, when she turned around to face the entrance to the kitchen, Luke was exactly the person to stand there. Seeing a purple bruise on his cheek, Sawyer felt pride. At least she made a physical mark, if her words didn’t seem to land.

“Hi,” she said, speeding up the process of pouring the drink into her glass. She could feel his eyes scanning her exposed body, and although the suit covered everything it should, under his gaze Sawyer felt almost naked. He probably judged her ink, wondered how Grace found her attractive in the first place. From multiple, messy tattoos on her arms, to an ornament on her stomach and silly cat design on her knees, she could become a color book. It definitely wasn't something Luke was used to seeing on the bodies of all the model’s and pretty girls that came to their parties. Their hair wasn’t fried by bleach, the black polish on their nails wasn’t half-scratched and their lips weren’t chapped. But as she stole a look at him… That definitely wasn’t disgust.

Once upon a time, she wished for Luke to look at her like this. Grace was the first person who managed to make her move on from this sick fantasy of his affection; not only friendly touches, but something on a completely different level. When it first appeared in her dreams, she wanted to wash her eyes with Listerine, but soon after that, Sawyer just… went with it. She couldn’t fight her body’s physical reaction even if she tried, and her body definitely reacted.

It was a shame it didn't get the memo that Luke didn’t exist to them anymore; especially when her nipples started to harden under his gaze, and the black bra did nothing to hide it. The only thing Sawyer could do was hurry to the terrace.

“Sawyer, can you bring some more beers?!” Michael called from the pool. She closed her eyes, irritated. It didn’t help that instead of going further into the house, Luke just stood there, staring. Sawyer was growing pissed at him again, for that simple fact alone. Sure, it was her decision to come over, but he could at least make it easier for the both of them. Her head was working overtime to understand what he was expecting – after the conversation with Ashton, she couldn’t find her footing between hating Hemmings and just wanting him to finally find a good enough excuse that would let her forget and move on. But Sawyer also knew that getting back to how they were wouldn’t satisfy her. She desperately wanted back her friend, the one who gave the best hugs, always helped wash the dye out of her hair, and would listen for hours as she babbled on about the new art exhibition or her last, terrible hook up.

“Sure!” She opened the fridge, but couldn’t find any new cans inside. Sawyer huffed, and started checking the cabinets. She had no idea where it was, and after stumbling through the plates, glasses, almost empty spices, she was nowhere near finding the six-pack.

“It’s here.”

Luke came up behind the kitchen island, fitting into the space next to Sawyer. She turned, leaning her hips against the counter, and drilled her eyes into his face. Even though he opened a floor length cabinet and pulled out what she needed, Luke wouldn’t stop staring at her face, and as a result, they maintained a heavy eye contact that made Sawyer’s skin tingle. The stupid lip ring seemed to taunt her, because she wasn’t able to look away.

It was hard to pinpoint when she started finding Luke attractive – one day, maybe after she saw him in a suit for Ben’s graduation or after one of the Sunday dinners, when they went to the beach, to surf with his family, she came home and the only thought in her head, as Sawyer slipped her hand under the waistband of her shorts, was Luke’s eyes, and his lips, and the texture of his palm when he grabbed her arm, and the way he could push her around with little effort. She felt giddy because of the overwhelming feeling the whole day, knowing deep down that this wasn’t good; not how friends were supposed to think about each other.

“Thanks,” she breathed, taking the beer from his hand. Once upon a time, they were the same height, but now Luke towered over her with multiple centimeters in favor. Sawyer felt trapped between his hard body and the counter. Usually, she would be too stubborn to be the first person to look away, but today, all Sawyer wanted was to be smart.

She looked away, and tried to make her way away from him, away from the kitchen. The longer Sawyer stayed close to Luke, the harder it was to remember that she didn’t want anything to do with him. Her mind and common sense might have been saying one thing, but her body and the nostalgia flooding every second she looked at him… She would prefer him to come back home after she left for the day. Nothing was easier knowing that she could jump back to the old routine, yearning for every sign of him. It would also mean absolute lack of self-respect, but at the end of the day Sawyer knew damn well that she didn’t have much of that in the first place.

Luke’s whole palm closed around her thin upper arm when he grabbed her.

“You don’t have to run away from me,” he said, brushing blond hair out of his eyes. He was dressed neater than usually, an ironed t-shirt and dress parts that Sawyer had not seen him in before. Not that she had seen much of him since they left. Only then did she realise that it was Sunday, and Luke probably came back from the dinner at his parents’ house. She used to be invited to those, and even continued going after Luke was across the planet, but things flaked off once the big drama at her house happened and Sawyer cut ties with her family. She had always loved Liz and appreciated everything that Hemmings’ did for her, but deep down, she knew that Liz would talk about her to her mum, and Sawyer wanted nothing to do with them. She could do well just fine by herself, and giving them an opportunity to keep tabs on her was as far out of her interest zone as possible.

“Luke… I really don’t want to talk about all of that,” she admitted, not bothering to pull her arm out of his grip. “It’s better if we just ignore each other.” In her hand, that was the only solution that made sense.

Sawyer always missed Luke, she thought about him and watched out for him in the news. She fixated so much on his person, she seemed to have forgotten that although Calum, Mike and Ashton were friends she made much later, they were also a huge part of her life and a comfort zone. Knowing that they valued her as a friend even after all this time, made her want to make amends.

“Sawyer, you’re at my house,” he scoffed.

“Oh,” Sawyer matched his tone and crossed her arms over her chest. “Are you going to be a dick again? I’m here for your housemates, Luke,” she clarified, although both of them knew that. What she didn’t know was that Ashton told Luke about her visit, and it made blond that much more motivated to leave the family dinner earlier. “Now, will you let me go, or do you have some more brilliant comments?”

“I’m not being a dick…” He immediately let go of her arm, the warmth of his touch leaving a red mark on her pale skin. Luke tried to find the right words, something that might give him a fighting chance.

When he came to his childhood house, Liz noticed the bruise on his cheek from the moment she opened the doors and his brother teased him about it through the whole dinner. Luke had been on edge since that party, not only Sawyer making a valid scene, but also his bandmates switching sides; the last thing he needed was Ben and Jack being nosy about the plum markings on his face. Naturally, Luke snapped at them and admitted that the reason for his appearance was Sawyer. His mum always dropped a plate of potatoes, and she didn’t even wait until they finished eating before asking what the fuck did he do to provoke her. Of course, as much as Luke tried to play it down and lead his mother away from the topic of the blonde, the more she drilled, and eventually, Luke had to end up telling her some version of what happened recently. Simply saying, Liz was not a fan of that – she lectured him on how to treat a woman, especially a woman that you have feelings for. Luke wanted to laugh, but after another twenty minutes of the one sided conversation, he was pretty sure his mum might have been right.

There was nothing casual about the way he felt about Sawyer Ashwood.

Looking at her then, ready to leave that kitchen with her back turned on him, miscellaneous colored hair glued to her nape and a black swimming suit hugging her hips tightly, Luke felt like this was his last chance to get that point across. All he wanted to do was get back to how they were, except not really, because this time around, he also wanted to be able to kiss her lips anytime he wanted; he wanted to know her every tattoo in detail, trail his tongue across every inch of her skin, make sure that when they go on the next tour, she’ll be waiting back here for him. Even if Sawyer wasn’t able to see it now, Luke would give her time, but beforehand, ruin her so thoroughly she wouldn’t be able to look at anyone else.

“I meant what I said at the party,” he said, ready for the hurricane that it might invoke. “The part about how I didn’t want to see you with Grace. I was jealous that she just gets to have you…” The blonde turned around, her expression hard to read. Luke was ready for her to approach him and slap him in the bruised cheek again, but she just stood there, considering his words. He took it as a sign to continue. “Look, I fucked up. I should have been calling and texting while we were away, fuck, send you letters. But a part of me wanted to move on.”

“And did you? Move on I mean?” she asked, her brown eyes darker. She set her glass and the beer on the counter, leaning on it with her hip. The two meters of space between them seemed like a lot, but at least Luke was able to think straight; when she was close, he felt a step from complete madness, his every bone screaming to just close the distance and finally have the kiss that he dreamed about for years. It wasn’t just about the way Sawyer looked; it was about knowing how fierce she was and she would match him beat for beat.

“No! Why would I sleep with Grace if I did?” he asked, exasperated. How could she not get it? Sawyer was never a good student, but Luke would never call her stupid. Maybe she wasn’t the best from math or geography, but she would figure out any situation.

“I don’t know Luke! You’re giving me mixed signals all the time!” Sawyer needed no time to get just as riled up, and although it should have made him scared, it only made the desire under his skin crawl. He couldn’t bear to look at her and not feel it stirring in his stomach, when all the blonde was wearing was the swimming suit. “We've been best friends since we were born, and then all of a sudden you leave and cut ties with me! Then you come back, and start inviting me to parties as if nothing happened. You sleep with my fucking girlfriend, but for some reason, it’s because you want me? Sorry if it doesn’t make any fucking sense!” She gesticulated with her hands, and raised her voice.

Out of the corner of his eye, Luke saw Calum coming up to the glass terrace doors, closing them to give the two some privacy. He was not stupid; he knew that Ashton probably planned it exactly so they could bump into each other and work this out, because Irwin couldn’t help but meddle in people’s business.

“I do want you! Why is that so hard to believe, Sawyer?!”

All her life, all Sawyer wanted was to be loved and cherished, and she found a friend who did just that. Was it wishful thinking, wanting to have that friendship forever? It all begun getting complicated when she started having a fucking crush on Luke, or maybe just on the way he looked, but back then, she was able to control it. Sawyer could move past that. She could sleep with other people, women to take her mind off his appearance, and guys who could pass as him under the right light. She could gaslight herself into relationship after relationship, acting like he wasn’t the person she thought about when they fucked.

“Because you said you want me as a friend, and then you stopped taking my calls! You told me it was all going to be ok, but it wasn’t, Luke! I needed a friend, so many times, and you wouldn’t pick up your damn phone! You lied to me about Grace! I know I used to be able to read you, but not anymore! I don’t think I even trust anything that’s coming out of your mouth-”

Luke cut her off – he wasn’t able to listen to this anymore, mostly because deep down he realised that Sawyer was right about everything. She had no reasons to trust him, but he also knew that this call was coming from somewhere else. He only noticed it after his mum pointed it out, but the blonde always seemed to put herself down. Luke knew it was probably because of her parents; her dad would always comment on her clothes being too revealing, then being too baggy. Once Sawyer was too skinny, another time too fat, and then on a good day he would buy her sweets on top of that. It didn’t help that her mum would always talk about Sawyer getting a nose job in the feature. At some point, she started modifying her appearance for her own pleasure, but also to give her parents something else to talk about than her face and her body.

It’s not that Luke had always been attracted to his best friend, but he grew to appreciate her looks a bit too much. Maybe it was contemplating her profile for too long, or stalking her social media when Calum snored a bit too loud. Her pointed slim nose and the warm brown of her eyes, that stared into your soul and saw every little piece of you; her petite body, shoulders covered in light freckles and those fucking tattoos, that she somehow positioned in all the right places. Multiple times, Luke would dream of painting them over with his tongue – the vines on her underboob, the tribal below her navel, that fucking tramp stamp she got illegally done at sixteen that said “babygirl”. He also dreamed of tasting the cherry Carmex off her lips, and seeing how sensitive her nipples were, since Sawyer rarely wears a bra and more than often, he was able to get a good look at them.

Fuck, Luke wanted to have his way with her, trapped in his sheets of hours, and showing just how strong his desire was. Just how pretty and attractive she had always been to him.

First, though, he had to shut her up – and the only effective way to do that seemed to be connecting their lips in a kiss. It was bruising, because the longer Luke listened to her monologue, the more pissed he would get; at himself and at everything around them that just wouldn’t let this happen properly. He should have invited her on a date, showered her with tour tickets, and flown her out to cities just to have her at his side for a few hours. But it was too late for that, and instead, the only idea in his head was to close the distance between them and just show her first hand how much she meant.

At first, she just stood there, unmoving and shocked. The last thing Sawyer expected was for him to actually kiss her, to feel his hands grip on to her hips and hold her in place. Would he stop if she stayed unresponsive? Just how far was Luke willing to take this? Sawyer knew damn well that if he allowed to take her foot off the break, she wouldn’t be able to stop again. She closed her eyes, slowly putting her own hands on his shoulders, letting her lips purse, trying to kiss back just when Luke decided to pull away. His eyes were glazed over and hooded as he looked at her, breathing hard.

“Do you trust this?” he asked, his voice hoarse. His fingers trailed to the naked skin on her stomach. “Was this honest enough for you?”

Sawyer frowned, trying to make sense of his words. Her brain was screaming, going into overdrive. This was definitely overstimulating, but the restless butterflies in her stomach made Sawyer hesitant to stop. There was no going back from this anyway, and even if Luke would turn his back on her again afterwards, at least she would know if those years of daydreaming were justified.

“No,” she breathed out, inhaling sharply, before letting her hands drift to the nape of his neck. Standing on her toes, Sawyer pulled him down, almost causing Luke to trip over. Last second, he hugged her waist, using the blonde as an anchor; soon enough, he used that same grip to lift her onto the counter, putting their faces on the same level.

Sawyer moaned when he used her thighs to pull her to the edge; maybe because she was only wearing a swimsuit, but his every touch burned her skin. She was sure if she just took a second to look down, Luke would actually be leaving red marks in his wake. But the kiss was too all-consuming – she could taste the cigarettes he started to smoke recently and a hint of tea that she knew for a fact Liz made everyone drink after the dinner. When his tongue slipped into her mouth, it forced her to gasp and cling to his neck harder. And that fucking ring… Feeling it against her lips was driving Sawyer crazy.

His hands explored her skin, skimming from the thighs to the sides of her stomach, sometimes hooking under the lines of her bikini bottoms. Luke had the placement of her tattoos burned into his brain, and Sawyer noticed that his thumb always circulated the lines on her hip, the design on her knees. She could feel his fingertips touching the material of her bikini top, and scoffed when he wouldn’t even grab her breast through it. They were way past shy, when she could feel the material of her panties slowly become soaked in the arousal.

“Just touch me,” she suggested, breaking the kiss. Her forehead resting against his, the blonde tried to collect herself at least a little bit. The calloused fingertips of his fingers caused by playing the guitar without a pick made her shiver. The way Luke looked at her, Sawyer could tell that he was too far gone. She herself was only able to think straight because of the stress that inwillingly settled itself in the back of her head.

Sex wasn’t anything new to her. In a way, Sawyer was a highly experienced person, and her ex partners would confirm just that. No matter how many hook ups she had though, Sawyer was sure Luke outdid her. She was also sure that her experience, as considerable as it was, wouldn’t be that valid when it mostly limited itself to fingering and eating out girls. Luke might have been the third or fourth boy she would ever be involved with sexually, and it wasn't even that Sawyer was worried about not pleasing him, but simply making a fool out of herself. In her mind, this was a one time thing. She wouldn’t be able to get Luke to herself ever again, because for all the blonde knew, he might have forgotten about her by the very next day.

Maybe Luke Hemmings really wanted her, but it was just another whim of a spoiled rockstar.

Sawyer didn’t care as her lips trailed kisses down his neck, finding a particularly sensitive spot just below his jaw. She left multiple open mouth kisses just there, before closing her teeth on the creamy skin. On her lips, she could feel the short hairs of his stubble. At least Luke finally groped her chest, and hearing that just a little graze of her teeth can make him moan, Sawyer was excited to see what else she can cause. After making sure that her mark would be visible, the blonde straightened, catching his gaze again.

“Sawyer.” It was a warning, when her hand reached behind her back to untie the knots of her suit. His breath sounded laboured, even though no one had taken their clothes off yet. Juts from sitting there, knowing what was to come, Sawyer could feel her thighs tremble in anticipation.

“Luke.” With a teasing smile, she let the black material drop to reveal her chest. The blonde always considered it was nothing to write home about; if not for the nipples, Sawyer could probably pass as a ten year old, but she never felt tempted to do anything about it. Surgeries were too expensive and invasive, and she enjoyed not having to wear a bra enough to not feel too insecure about the size of her boobs. That said, when they immediately caught Luke’s attention and she saw his throat bob as he swallowed, a weird sense of pride coursed through her. He seemed entranced, unable to look away.

“The guys can probably see everything in the window,” he explained, although his hands started climbing up the newly exposed skin. Sawyer smiled to herself; seeing him unable to stop his own reflexes made her desire even stronger. If he wasn’t standing in between them, he would have to clench his thighs.

“Then take me to your bedroom, or move on and fuck me here,” Sawyer whined, letting her own hand let go of his neck to play with her own nipple. If Luke wasn’t going to, she had nothing against pleasing herself; wouldn’t be the first time someone watched her masturbate.

Luke bit his lower lip. When he kissed her, there was no bigger plan behind it, definitely not going to bed with his best friend. Sawyer shocked him with her boldness, but Luke wasn’t the only one who changed in the last few years. If he actually took her to his bedroom, there would be no going back from this. They would fuck, and Luke would become even more confused about what the fuck was happening between them. As if the situation wasn’t confusing enough! Even though she considered this a one night stand, Luke didn’t think he would be able to survive it and move on; he would become inconsiderably whipped for Sawyer, and it was a positively scary feeling, especially knowing the kind of girl she was. Most guys wouldn’t survive Sawyer Ashwood, and it was probably the reason she almost exclusively dated women – why waste her time on someone who wouldn’t be able to handle all the wonderful and bad that came with being hers.

She was fierce and loud, and definitely not media trained, or even possible to tame. She had feelings bigger than herself and didn’t know how to deal with them. She wouldn’t tell him if something was wrong, she wouldn’t express her feelings… Fuck, both of them were simply terrible at communicating, terrible at relationships. But Luke knew for a fact that he had a lot of time to figure it out, here, with her, and maybe Sawyer would just work with him.

“Fuck,” he huffed, and gripped her underthighs. Sawyer’s legs curled around his waist, and soon, Luke was carrying her to his bedroom.

Even though he moved, the room was still messy, although it had less personality. No posters, no books, just a bed and a nightstand, with a single picture from Ashton’s graduation on it. He never stayed in school long enough to get one from theirs, and when Sawyer’s ceremony happened a year later, she ended up having a breakdown and never showing up. Out of the two of them, he always had the better prospects of getting an education, but somehow she was there alone?

He dropped her on the bed, hovering over and connecting their lips again. Sawyer’s legs never stopped hugging him, pressing their hips together. After all those years of build up, all she wanted was to just get to the main part. She pulled him down, making Luke drop his whole body on her; it was a trick to flip them, so the blonde could be on top. In no time, Luke sat up straight and started kissing her breasts, teasing one of the nipples with his thumb and tracing the valley between them with his tongue. It was a weird sensation, his hot tongue against her skin, not so long submerged in the cold water. But all of that cold was present now, when the arousal heated her like a furnace.

Sawyer moaned in pleasure, fiddling with the ties of her bikini on the back, to take the bra off completely. She threw it somewhere on the floor, before moving on to Luke. He couldn’t stay fully clothed while she was almost naked – her hands found the hem of his shirt and pulled it up, not caring about all the buttons. Luke helped her, raising his arms and taking his lips off her skin. One of her hands splayed across his chest, moving down to his stomach and below the navel. Sawyer bit her lip.

She did just that in her dreams so many times, feeling like a teenage fangirl, even though she knew Luke Hemmings better than most. At some point, he just stopped being real to her, an urban legend that Sawyer kept on believing in, a conspiracy theory. Seeing him half naked, touching his skin, made a part of her brain tingle; the exact part that was slowly doubting he had ever been real. Except Luke was really fucking real, touching and kissing and having his way with her. Maybe she was just another girl for him, but for Sawyer, this meant a lot.

She might have tried to gaslight that importance out of this encounter… But at the end of the day, Sawyer would be analysing this over and over while falling asleep, rethinking his every touch, every kiss. Her dreams didn’t come true often enough to let this go easily.

“Like what you see?” he asked, a cocky grin across his lips, although Luke really wanted to hear that she did like it.

Sawyer had always been the kind of friend who would put on a neutral face and push toward the final goal, except now, he had no idea what it was. Was she still mad or did this mean everything had been forgiven? He was about to see her naked for the first time ever, and not knowing if she did it out of desire or spite crossed his mind more than once. Luke needed anything to grasp onto, even if it was a simple compliment.

“I’m just wondering what Grace thought at this very moment.”

The pointed look she sent him was enough to make Luke’s blood boil anew. Even in the middle of all of this, she had the ability to piss him off, even if just a bit. He sure as hell wasn’t getting back to this now; instead, Luke connected their lips in yet another kiss, placing her down on the mattress. He settled between her legs, while continuing to kiss down her body. His lips traveled over her skin, tongue slightly darting out to leave a wet pathway. Finally, he could explore all the ink on it, and one look up told Luke that Sawyer enjoyed it just as much.

He hooked his fingers under the band of her bottoms, and Sawyer wasted no time to lift her hips to help him slide her off. Her lips fell open when, instead of coming fully back up, Luke settled at the feet of the mattress and started kissing up from her calf. Well, that was oddly familiar. She watched with glazed eyes, moaning softly every time he bit down on her skin or got awfully close to her core, just to back out again. While she rested on one of her elbows to be able to see Luke, the other hand sneaked into his messy hair.

“Stop being a tease, Luke,” Sawyer huffed, pulling at the ends of the blond strands. He looked up, the blue eyes crashing into her brown ones. They were so much darker, but somehow still familiar; Sawyer realised he looked at her like this before – when they met up before prom and she wore a form fitting black dress, when they tried sneaking into a club and Sawyer made a point of wearing pants low enough to show off the stamp on her lower back. “Fuck,” she moaned, so lost in the realization that only the feeling of his fingers finally making contact woke her up.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he groaned, spreading her open with his fingers. Sawyer bit her lips, waiting for him to finally do something more than just admire and tease. It was such a guy thing to do, but she decided to stay quiet for now, if only for the sake to finally find some release.

Sparing one last look at her blushed face, Luke finally lowered his lips. Sawyer gasped, feeling his tongue exploring her, up and down, skimming over her clit. She waited for his movements to organize, to find the rhythm that she so desperately needed. It took him a second, but eventually, Luke concentrated on her most sensitive spot, circling it with his tongue and pressing it flat. When she almost gasped for him to do more, Luke teased at her entrance with one finger, slipping it inside painfully slowly. Just his finger was much bigger that what Sawyer was usually used to start with, but she took it like a champ, without a sound. Last thing she needed was for Luke to think of her as inexperienced.

Besides, it only took a second to get used to the feeling. Under Luke’s actions, Sawyer turned into a mess, her legs bending at the knees and falling over his shoulders, pulling on his hair a bit stronger than necessary, back arching on the mattress. The last thing Luke expected was for Sawyer to be so vocal about her pleasure.

They both seemed to have forgotten about their friends sitting by the pool, wondering where the blonde had disappeared, even though the sounds coming from Luke’s window were pretty telling. Ashton never expected for this to happen when he invited Sawyer over, but as long as his friends weren’t fighting, he couldn’t care less. Besides, everyone around Sawyer and Luke seemed to have suspected that there was something bound to happen between them. Some people didn’t believe in friendships between boys and girls, while others thought that when you get to know someone this well, you either start to love or hate them. Judging by the moans, these two fell under the first option.

“Luke, I need more.” Sawyer pulled at his hair again, forcing him to speed up the movement of his tongue. Luke was becoming sloppier with every second, the taste of her arousal and the sounds getting into his head. He looked up, not understanding what she meant at first. Propping herself on shaky hands, Sawyer’s palm cradled his cheek, pulling him away from her clit. “Luke, please, can you finally fuck me?” she asked, her tone full of pretension.

“Is Sawyer Ashwood going to beg?” Luke asked with a teasing smile, but obediently left the valley between her legs, kneeling on the mattress to kiss her neck yet again.

“Fuck no,” she scoffed, Sawyer’s fingers finding the button of his jeans and undoing it together with the zipper. She started to pull the material down together with his boxers, her short nails scratching at his skin when the jeans got stuck. Noticing it, Luke helped her, pulling them low enough for his hard cock to spring free. “Oh my- Shit,” she cursed, seeing his length and girth. Blush immediately covered her cheeks at the thought of making him fit alone. The last time Sawyer was in bed with a guy, he was much smaller, and she did everything to forget the encounter afterward.

“Wha-” Luke looked up, and seeing her red face and eye trained on his cock, he knew something was up. Anyone else would have taken it as pure awe, but he knew Sawyer well enough to know that she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that his size was impressive. “Wait, is this your first time?” he asked, face paling. That would elevate the pressure drastically, because of all the people in the world, he wouldn't want Sawyer to have a bad first time.

“What? No,” she breathed out, finally lifting her gaze to his shocked face. “But you are maybe the third guy to sleep with me? Feel blessed,” she added, shrugging it off. It wasn’t that big of a deal, and nothing could have been worse than her first time at some stupid party, when Sawyer decided to pull the first available blond guy into a free bedroom and strip him, both of them so drunk that it took him almost five minutes and three condoms to finally find her entrance.

“Do you have a condom?” She bit her lip. There was never a point for Sawyer to get on the pill, but now that she started sleeping with guys, maybe there were certain things to reconsider.

Luke only nodded, stepping off the bed and almost tripping because of the jeans stuck at his knees. He kicked them off completely, before opening the night stand and pulling out a string of foil packets. He ripped one off with his teeth, opening it in the blink of an eye. The whole time, Sawyer watched his movements, studying the muscles on his stomach and everything happening below the waist, committing it to memory. The messy blond hair fell over his forehead, and all she wanted to do was snap a photo, finally having one of her own, one that no paparazzi could ever take.

“How do you want me?” Once the condom was rolled on his cock, Luke joined her on the mattress again, finding Sawyer playing with her clit. He leaned down to her chest, taking a nipple between his teeth, eliciting another moan. Usually, he preferred his partners to stay quiet, but something about Sawyer showing off just how pleased she was made him even harder.

“What does the chef recommend?” she asked, her voice hoarse from the moaning. Luke laughed, before laying down with his head on the pillow. His hand started stroking his cock, and he could see the fire that it ignited in Sawyer, if only by her lips parting open.

“I want you to ride me,” he announced, reaching out to pull her closer. Sawyer straddled him obediently, sitting on his thighs. “Touch me, Ashwood,” he challenged, knowing that she wouldn’t back down from it.

Although tentatively, Sawyer wrapped her hands around his cock and started stroking it, riding on his thigh, where her clit received the perfect amount of friction. Luke gave her a few moments to get used to his size, and when she sped up her movements, he gestured to take over. With one of his hands, he guided Sawyer’s hips up and made her sit closer, guiding the head to tease her entrance.

She had been right in one thing – her appearances weren’t similar to the models Luke was used to sleeping with. They didn’t have tattoos or piercings in their noses, their breasts were small but at least stuck out a little bit, there were no razor bumps on their pubis and they knew how to handle a guy. But Sawyer’s rawness, all those things that she might have considered imperfections, were exactly what attracted him the worst. The blonde was real, as real as it gets; she didn’t have money to get lasers and dyed her hair at home, she wore basic cotton underwear and wasn’t a particular vixen. But Sawyer still had her confidence and didn’t care what he thought about all those little details. In the world of perfection and appearances that Luke’s routine had become, she reminded him that this was what life actually looked like, and what he actually wanted.

“Should I go slow, or…?” He asked. Sawyer’s head was thrown back in pleasure, as he continued to slide his cock on her clit. His breath was getting laboured, because just watching the blonde as he ate her out before was enough to work him up. Luke knew he wouldn’t last long, but she also seemed close to the finish line. They could always go again – Luke would cancel all his plans just to prolong this moment of understanding between them.

“Just go,” she cried out, biting her lip and looking down at Luke. She moved her hands from his thighs to his chest, letting her nails ram into his skin as he started pushing his cock in. Her mouth fell open, and soon, a moan escaped it. “Fuck, Luke, yes,” she gasped, slowly letting her hips drop, taking more and more of his length.

“Sawyer, you take me so well,” Luke groaned, closing his eyes at the sensation of her tight pussy. Somehow, the realisation that he was one of the first guys to ever fuck her made him proud; a stupid, manly sensation that puffed his ego anyway. Luke grabbed her hips, helping Sawyer pace herself. Honestly, he was enjoying the slow start that allowed him to feel every inch she managed to take. “Shit, such a good girl…”

“Shut up,” she cut him off, not letting him get too creative with the nicknames. Once his whole cock was inside her, she took a second to get used to it. Sawyer had never felt so full before, even with a vibrator.

Only after a minute, she started swaying her hips to the sides, her nails scratching Luke’s pecks. His hands helped to guide her, showing Sawyer how to move on top to pleasure both of them. She moved her hips in circles, lifting off the last few inches before falling back, each move deliberate. His tip touched the specific spot inside her every time, making both of them gasp.

With every second, she sped up her movements, making them more chaotic and sloppy. She quickly got tired of using her legs to lift her hips up and down, and soon, Luke had to help Sawyer up by lifting her himself. She was committed, and tried to last as long as possible. It was hard when the pleasure was attacking her from everywhere.

Thankfully, Luke intervened, sitting up and driving his hips to fuck into her. Sawyer grabbed his neck and pulled him in for a kiss, moaning into his swollen lips. She could still taste herself on them, and somehow, it made her come even closer to the release. His moves got sloppier by seconds. Soon they were moaning, holding each other tightly.

“Come for me, c’mon Sawyer,” Luke urged, kissing the corner of her mouth tenderly.

“I can’t. I need-” she said, just when he drove his hips up with a bigger force than before, leaving her to whine. Sawyer’s head rested on Luke’s shoulder.

“What do you need, baby?” Luke’s voice was tender. As his hips snapped up to fuck into Sawyer, he realised that even if it wasn’t her first time, he still wanted her to remember it fondly. Even before he came, Luke knew that he wanted this to happen again. He aimed to please, if only to etch himself into her memories, fuck her up so badly she wouldn’t be able to find the same pleasure anyway else.

“Touch my clit,” she asked, and in no time, Luke’s finger was pressing against her sensitive spot, moving in circles. It took only a few more snaps of his hips to feel her thighs tremble, and hear her moaning his name.

Even though Sawyer got her orgasm, Luke rode her through it, chasing his own release. Her body fell limp against him, but after two more sloppy moves, Luke spilled into the condom, his back falling spent against the headboard.

“Fuck, you were incredible,” he mumbled, tired from the activity. Slowly, Sawyer raised her head from his shoulder, looking at him with a smile that could make a whole city light up. “You are incredible, Sawyer. And beautiful.” Luke leaned in, kissing her nose. He brushed through her tangled hair with his hand, taming it.

Fuck, he had never been the one for the aftercare, but with her, all he wanted was to make sure she felt good and wouldn’t be sore the next day.

“Thank you,” she chuckled. “We have to work on your head abilities, but…” Luke raised his brow. He hoped that they could be honest at least now, because well, this was quite a vulnerable situation. As if seeing his doubt, her expression softened. “Every time I was with a guy before, I wanted to forget about it right after, but I don’t want to forget this,” she admitted, blushing slightly. As if on cue, she started slowly lifting her hips to free herself of his cock.

Sawyer slid off the mattress, finding her soaked panties on the floor. Typically, Luke would be the one to run from a conversation while she pushed for it, but maybe they exchanged roles. Maybe Sawyer was tired of being the bigger person, the mature one, who will prompt every conversation and motivate the solution to conflicts. For once, she didn’t want to put her heart on her sleeve for him and see the reaction it would trigger.

“You can take a pair of my boxers, they’re in the wardrobe,” he proposed, seeing how she scanned her bottoms with doubt. Sawyer nodded, and approached the dresser door, soon finding a pair of black underwear. “So, I was good?” he asked teasingly.

“Average,” she threw over her shoulder with a smirk, putting the boxers on. They were almost falling off her hips, but all she needed was to get downstairs, where her clothes waited on the washing machine in the bathroom.

Sawyer found her bra on the floor, and came up to the bed, sitting down, and letting Luke tie it over her nape and back.

“Friends don’t lie, Sawyer,” he reminded her with a scoff, but seeing her profile twist in doubt, Luke swallowed hard. “We’re friends, right?”

“I-” Sawyer stood up, looking at him with lost, brown eyes.

She really wanted to say yes. Why throw away so many years of history because of one mistake? But a part of her couldn’t just lie to him, as if the second they weren’t done her mind hadn't drifted to the thought of Grace’s having him first. As if she could forget all those nights she needed to talk to someone and would dial his number again and again, just to end up with ten voice messages and even more doubts about her life than before. They had an idea of each other, but nothing else. Maybe she would be able to get to know him again, but Sawyer knew that it would take time to gain the old level of trust; even though it would break her heart, seeing how he looked at her with hope filling his eyes.

She had Luke exactly where she wanted him, but somehow it wasn’t all as easy as she thought. It didn’t feel as good as she thought to deal the killing blow, even though Luke hurt her first.

“I don’t know,” Sawyer admitted, coming up to the door. Maybe Luke needed a taste of his own medicine. “Call me when you figure your shit out, or if you want to do this again.”

With that said, Sawyer left his bedroom, and Luke’s body slumped over the headboard. He followed her steps as long as he could, before closing his eyes and exhaling.

Luke Hemmings knew two things:

First of all, in no universe would he have the space and mental capacity to figure his life out while sleeping with Sawyer Ashwood.

Second of all, Luke wouldn’t be able to let go of Sawyer now that he knew how it felt to have her.

#5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings #michael clifford #calum hood #ashton irwin #luke 5sos #calum 5sos #ashton 5sos #michael 5sos #5sos smut

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yesterdayiwrote · 4 months ago

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https://www.tumblr.com/yesterdayiwrote/762167834490077184/i-do-think-certain-people-within-mercedes-should?source=share you guys will believe everything and anything anyways whether that's concerning george or mercedes or f1 in general 💀 lmfao and yes you're over invested in f1 and in george like most of us fans we dont know these people they're privileged enough and rich enough to drive these things to be in this kind of environment and these people, yes including george are in places like monaco where they dont pay taxes while the rest of the world ( excluding the rich and powerful ) are suffering in paying.

you're WAY too invested in george to a point it is being so parasocial, that man doesnt give two shits at all ( whether you defend him or not nor him giving two shits about you lets be real, these people in f1 do not give two shits about social justice keyboard warrior fans ) because if he were and we know how he is, he'd be leaving that team if he thinks he's not fit there or if they're not treating him right, he's a grown ass man, stop babying him.

I've been torn between just putting a straight block on this or replying (because tumblr only lets you do one), but seeing as you think it's fit to come into my inbox and just send this shit to me behind cowardly anonymity, I just want to get this off my chest.

In the past few weeks, I've had anons telling me I care too much and I don't care enough. Telling me I'm over emotional but also telling me that I'm too cynical. Whatever I write I seem to get some form of shitty anon rushing to tell me how I've done or said the wrong thing.

I'm a fucking stranger on the Internet. I'm just some random girl with an opinion of no consequence, but I'm also a fucking human being. I try and be SO honest about my feelings and the facts are my feelings are complicated and messy sometimes. I've called myself out for being parasocial before. I've addressed multiple issues you've mentioned before because, guess what! It's possible to feel contradicting things! I've got a whole fucking essay on here from a few years back about how much the Monaco tax situation pisses me the fuck off (oh and guess what I got shit for posting that too!) I've admitted that whilst I try and be reasonable and logical that I'm not immune to my emotions and biases getting in the way, but I don't think I've done anything to deserve opening my inbox to this type of patronising, aggressive shit telling me what a dick I am actually.

If you don't like what I post that's absolutely fine. We all have posts we read where we think 'oop, don't agree with that really', but I am absolutely begging you to understand that piling in to someone's inbox, and hiding behind anon to try and make them feel shit about themselves by telling them what an idiot they are... its really not normal behaviour in any metric. I am not perfect. I'm not immune to doing or saying or thinking or feeling the wrong thing, so stop fucking expecting me or anyone else to adhere to some weird unwritten specific 'vibe' in order to be deemed "acceptable". Wouldn't life be fucking boring if we all behaved in exactly the same cookie cutter way?

#yesterdayianswered #ask

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bowandcurtsey · 3 years ago

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Helloooo~ I'm back to tumblr after a long break and man, i missed your blog so I read them all again:> hehe and i see that your request is open so... Can i ask for when they thought y/n is leaving. Like Yami, nozel and fue fought with their s/o and they said smth angsty to them and just walked out. But later they realized thag they're wrong so they came back to apologize but you're not there anymore so they thought that you've enough of them and decided to leave wjxhdhdh I'm sorry if it's messy wjcyshsh anyways i love your works, i hope you're doing well!!

Hello lovely bby!! First of all, welcome back to tumblr and I hope you're still here! I'm sorry your request took more than a month to complete, but hey I'm here now (o´∀`o)

Secondly, thank you for loving my blogs and rereading my works!! I'm happy that you love them!

Lastly, here's some angst to fluff for ya! It's not that angst, don't worry! If you'd like a more angst one, you could request one character and I could do a drabble instead of headcanons!

Yami | Nozel | Fuegoleon x F! reader

Yami Sukehiro

It was the very first time he shouted at you. He seldom got mad since this man was seldom serious on most things.

You didn't really remember what you were actually arguing about, but he started to make a joke which you didn't see eye to eye with and replied with a little too much sarcasm and before you know it, the both of you were arguing and hurling criticisms and bringing up past problems.

And then he shouted at you. "Just stop talking y/n!" He smashed his fist against the wall, walking out of the room.

He went to the basement and took the wild beasts out for a little run in the forest. As a took a drag off his cigarette and calmed down, he thought about the matter that started the fight.

Then he realised that you only meant well for him and that you nagged at him because you really cared for him. Yet he shouted and raised his fist to slam the walls and walked out on you.

He rushed back home, and back to your shared room, but you weren't there.

He thought you finally had enough of him. The black bull captain actually panicked a little. Until he heard you shouted at the wild beast from downstairs. "How am I supposed to play with you if you don't fetch?"

He looked down, watching his pets surround you with affection, wagging their tails and asking you for belly rubs and play.

He heaved a sigh of relief. He smiled at the sight before him. That is one of the reason why he loved you so; you were loved by everyone even by the beasts, because you were always kind and gracious with your love.

In one swift move he jumped from the room window, landing right behind you, engulfing you in a huge bear hug from behind.

Before you could say anything, he said, "I'm sorry, baby. I was an idiot."

"What a coincidence," you pouted a little as you reached up to hold onto his biceps that were around your torso and gave it a little squeeze, "I came down to look for you to tell you the same thing. But I found these three who wouldn't let me leave until I play with them."

You petted the beasts affectionately.

"Heh. I forgot about them when I thought about you getting upset."

The three beast huffed at their owner.

Nozel Silva

He didn't say a word. He walked out without even taking a second look at you. He summoned his Mercury Eagle and took flight.

Shit. You had crossed the line with your words. You took off after him, but he was way too fast that you had no idea where he went. You went to all the places he could be at; his office, the garden, the training centre but you couldn't find him.

Tears started rolling down your cheeks as the anxiety builds within your chest, every breathing getting harder and harder.

---

Just 5 mins after leaving on his Mercury Eagle, Nozel regretted it. How could he just walk out like that? Mama Acier raised him to be better than this. He turned back to the Silva residence, only to find the room empty.

"Where's y/n?" he asked a servant.

"she left awhile ago sir.." the servant hesitated with her words.

"and?" Nozel glared at her to continue.

"She was c-crying sir.."

Nozel dismissed the servant. He pinched the bridge of his nose as his brows furrowed. Did she leave? No. I have to explain myself.

The captain ran out in search for you.

----

After an hour, you found each other, right at the gates of the Silva residence. Both of you out of breath from rushing around like a headless chicken looking for one another.

You ran straight into his embrace and he wrapped you tightly in his arms.

"I'm sorry." you both said at the same time.

"I should have never walked out no matter how bad it got," Nozel stroked your hair, "I know you meant well."

"No, I shouldn't have been so nasty and mean with my words," you grabbed onto his tunic tightly, "I'm sorry."

Fuegoleon Vermillion

Fue was seldom angry, much less at you and even rarely would he speak of such strong and harsh words. But it was kinda your fault, you were throwing a tantrum about something and somehow it lead to an argument between you and your boyfriend.

"If you're that unhappy y/n, you're welcomed to leave." he said and he walked out.

You never had your heart ache that badly before. You sobbed until your voice turned silent. And then, after you were done sobbing, the sadness turned into anger again. How could he just walk out like that? You felt the fire rise up your throat again.

Fue flew back after an hour, his anger dissipated and it turned to regret. He shouldn't have left you like that, his words were hurtful and toxic, it was never what he meant!

He found the room empty. It was then the panic set in. She must have really left for good. I can't just lose her like that! The captain ran out, dragging salamander along with him.

"Sir Fuegoleon..." a servant came looking for him while he was searching for you, "Mdm Mereo is looking for you. She said come to the ultime volcano trail right now. It's urgent."

"Tell her I'm busy."

"I think it's regarding Miss y/n.."

The captain took off immediately

---

"OI! dumb brother, took you long enough to get here. Your wifey is destroying everything in my training ground!"

Fue blushed at the sound of you being called his wifey. He looked over his sister's shoulder, watching you rampaging through everything in your way. He was in awe every time he watched you fight, you were just so sexy.

"y/n!" he came closer to you.

You narrowed your eyes at him and then ignored him.

"y/n I'm sorry for what I said, I didn't mean it." he apologised.

"What did you say dumb brother?" Mereo was sitting on one of the rocks casually, watching on the both of you, clearly enjoying the show.

"He walked out as well!" you shouted to Mereo.

Mereo laughed, "you deserve this Fue boy!"

"Shut up, sister." he turned his attention back to you, "I apologise y/n, I was upset but I shouldn't have acted this way.."

"We're a couple! A couple shouldn't walk out on each other!" you suddenly stood still, arms akimbo.

"We..? You're not breaking up with me?" he blinked.

"You're the one that walked out, not me! Who's breaking up with who!" you glared at your boyfriend.

"Boohoo!" Mereo jeered at her brother, "apologise to your wifey for being dumb too!"

"I'm not your wifey!" you rolled your eyes at him, "not after you walked out like that."

Fue glared at his sister with his mana swirling around him, signalling that he was really losing patience with her.

Salamander let out a huff all of a sudden. He walked over to you, signalling for you to get on. Which you did. The beast spread his wings and grabbed his owner with his hands and flew off, leaving Mereo laughing in her training ground.

---

Sal brought the both of you home, huffing at the both of you for wasting his time over a trivial matter.

"I really thought you were done with this relationship when I came back and you weren't here, honey." Fue spoke in a solemn tone, "I'm really sorry, I can't imagine life without you."

A warm fuzzy feeling spread through your chest and your heart increased it beats at your man's words.

"I'm sorry for being mean, I was a little irritable today and it's not your fault. I panicked when you walked out actually.." you pouted.

Fue came over and pulled you into his arms, stroking your hair, "never again my love."

-end-

Salamander for MVP.

#yami sukehiro x reader #black clover yami #yami x reader #yami black clover #nozel silva x reader #nozel imagine #nozel x reader #yami sukehiro headcanons #fuegoleon vermillion x reader #fuegoleon vermillion x reader #fuegoleon x reader #fuegoleon vermillion hc #black clover headcanons #black clover imagine #black clover scenarios #black clover fanfiction #black clover imagines #black clover x reader

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qillmhi · 3 years ago

Text

He likes that

2003! Raph x Reader

YAY I got another one! Slight NSFW action. The pic below is my all time favourite Raph moment😂

Raphael is one tough cookie. Always had and always will be.

He's brash. He's bold. Heck, his fists do most of the talking for him in basically every scenario that he finds himself in. He isn't afraid to show the bad guys just how bad he can be. For instance...

The Purple Punks has been quiet these past few days. Too quiet to be exact. Only to find out there's someone else taking them out. Although that would be good for the most part, his brothers would definitely agree. But Raph isn't very happy when someone else steals his prey. So just like any hot-headed mutant turtle would, he began his own investigation and tracked down the bozos that keeps on taking his fun.

Yeah yeah, say what you want but a turtle needs to bust some heads to unwind every once in a while too okay? Anyways, he started his own little hunting game. It took a while without Don's techno-geek machines but he found his way into an abandoned warehouse. Cliché. Now would he consider his options and call his brothers and prepare a plan?

Fuck no.

Obviously he came straight right in with his weapons ready to attack. He kicked the door and jumped right in, adrenaline pumping through his body. After that? To be honest, he didn't know what happened next. It was a blur to him.

And just like that, the predator became the prey.

Tied down to a chair, inside what looks like an interrogation room, making out, tongue and all, with a gorgeous girl on his lap.

Raphael felt his shell become tighter every time he heard those delicious moans of yours. (Damn that escalated quickly)

The kiss was hot and messy. He had no freaking idea who you are, how you manage to catch him off guard so fast or what type of interrogation you were doing, but damn did he like it. He liked the taste of your lips. He liked the way your hands sensually traced his arms and he is certainly enjoying the way your hips would occasionally grind against his.

It was addicting.

With whatever limited movement he was able to do, Raph pulled away from your lips and started attacking your neck with rough bites and kisses. You sighed dreamily when his lips came in contact with your skin. Everytime his tongue brushed against your sweet spot, you'd grip his shoulders tighter. The turtle in red smirked. He'd tease you by ghosting a kiss or lick your sweet spot on your neck but never gave you the satisfaction of actually touching you the way you wanted. You looked at his eyes and pouted despite drowning in pleasure. Raph loves that look on your face. Eyes pleading, cheeks as red as his bandana and neck littered with marks. His marks. You were just begging him to eat you alive, and who is he to say no to that?

"Ahh~!" You moaned loudly when Raph finally gave in and bit you there harshly. You couldn't help but grind against him even harder with the way he was abusing your neck. It was driving you crazy!

Raph cursed under using breath. He sunk his teeth into your neck again, sucking and tasting the sensitive flesh to leave more marks. Your nails were scratching his plastron, mewling in pleasure. Damn you were loud. And he liked that. He liked that he was the reason why you were making those noises.

"Ya' like that, sweetheart?" He chuckled lowly. His breath was sending shivers down your spine. God he was so hot. His brooklyn accent alone was enough to send your body to overdrive without even trying.

You bit your lip and looked down at him out of breath but begging for more. "Yes. I love it~!" You moaned out licking your lips hungrily as you looked at him in the eyes.

Raphael growled animalistically when he saw you bit your lip. He was the only one allowed to do that little missy! But the moment those words left your lips, Raphael felt his brain go blank. And as if that wasn't enough, you had the audacity to lick your lips with that look? Goddamn. You really know how to press a turtle's buttons. Oh how he wanted to rip out his restrains and take you right then and there.

Just as when things are getting even more heated, you felt the slight vibrations of footsteps on the sole of your feet through your shoes. They were light and quiet yet quick and swift, you almost missed it. They obviously belong to individuals who are masters in the art of blending in the shadows.

They're here.

Damn it. You knew you should have taken his shellcell before going in. But seriously, how can you resist when he's right there and all tied up exactly the way you planned it? Oh well it was worth it though.

You pulled away, making Raph confused why you stopped and was even more upset when you got off his lap.

"Hey! Where'd ya' think you're goin'?" He grumbled, slightly breathless as he tugged against his bindings.

You looked back at your angry turtle friend and giggled. Aw he looked so adorable when he's desperate! You walked back to him, placing your hands behind the chair.

"We have company... But it was nice getting to see you again Raphie!" You placed a small kiss on his snout "Don't worry cutie. I'll find you again soon~"

Raph had no idea what you were talking about. You guys have met before? He had no memories of ever meeting you.

"Who are you?" He asked. You didn't answer. Instead you gave him a quick one last kiss then parted with your now sexually frustrated hothead.

Before Raph could let a word out, you had already jumped out of the window. Raph struggled against his binds and almost as soon as he did so, his brothers came in kicking the door off its frame.

"Raph! There you are!" Donatello exclaimed in relief as he went to untie his brother. Leo looked around suspiciously, expecting some sort of trap or hidden enemies to come out. Mikey on the other hand was blabbing on how they should celebrate rescuing Raph by making him buy the special five layered pizza. But Raph couldn't care less about any of that.

He bolted up as soon as his restrains where loose enough and ran towards the window. He squinted his eyes at the dark alleys and streets but there was no sign of you anywhere.

"You okay, Raph?" Leo placed a hand on his shoulder.

Raph grunted "Yeah... peachy." He then reunited with his brothers, ignoring their questions about what happened. He was too busy thinking about his little minx to even care.

He was sure he'd ran into you again. And this time he will be the one to kiss you.

And there is no way he's letting you get away.

#tmnt 2003 #tmnt raphael #tmnt imagine #tmnt x reader #tmnt #tmnt raph x reader #teenage mutant ninja turtle imagine #teenage mutant ninja turtles

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jyndor · 2 years ago

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since you don’t mind anons sending you stuff I would like to talk about something that really bothered me in andor. I was very excited to see Cassian having a love interest on the show, when they released that document about Bix that said they knew each other since always and were meant to be together I got so happy because I thought he could have some good moments at least. But after watching the show I was so disappointed, not only they are not together but they’re also annoyed with each other… that scene on episode 7 made me so sad. It feels like they are making Cassian look like a bad boyfriend, someone who can’t keep a relationship and left Bix sad and heartbroken with his actions. But she also looks like a bitter ex who wants to blame him for everything and never accepted the fact that they are over? Idk, I thought they would have a nice relationship but now I don’t think they will ever be together again

As someone who had no hopes that a love interest would be given good treatment, that's why I was pulling for Adria to be playing his sister lol because at least his sister would be like idk alive although I'm not sure Kerri isn't alive. I didn't expect anything great because of how Cassian has to lose everything by Rogue One. Either Cass and Bix are former lovers who can move on from each other, or Cassian has to lose her in some horrible way... lbr fridging is on the table. So from an out of universe perspective, I had low expectations. If Bix lives and they just don't get along anymore, it'll exceed my expectations.

My feelings on Bix and Cassian's relationship is that they're definitely not fit for each other. If they can get to a place where they can be good friends again I'd be shocked. I always interpreted that document as they SHOULD have worked out, they SHOULD have been able to be together but shit just kept getting in the way. Is Cassian a bad boyfriend? Well I mean they're NOT together, and they broke up. She wants more than he is able to give her. That's not being a bad boyfriend, it's being human and incompatible. And it's more reasonable to me if you think of Cassian as 21 instead of a fully developed fully grown man in his mid twenties because being messy is very 21.

The only thing that confused me was when Cassian pointed out her injury and she said she walked into a wall like she does, which is likely a reference to her being abused at some point and I HOPE??? She wasn't making a dig at CASSIAN lol because hell nO cassian jeron andor does not beat women.

I don't agree that Bix seems like a bitter ex, either. Even though we all hate Timm, for better or for worse she loved him. She and Cassian have a history and she has been the one to put up boundaries - pushing his hand away at the pub, telling him they weren't talking about who they're seeing in the first episode, etc. They are exes who are friends - but circumstances are what they are, and I wouldn't be surprised if Bix has a hard time dealing with Cassian after this just from misplaced blame. In episode 7 she's grieving her lover, even if he died because he was a jealous xenophobic idiot. People don't just stop loving someone immediately - it takes time to move on. I feel like Bix is frustrated with Cassian (from her perspective he always leaves her behind and that sucks for her, she feels that she's a more supportive friend than he is). I don't think it's unrealistic for that conversation to have gone the way it did, and I didn't take it as her having trouble getting over him or vice versa.

I personally HATE on and off relationships, I find them really unbearable so I personally hope they don't hook up or try again lol it's such a tired trope to me. Also if they get back together I think Bix will definitely not survive season 2 and I'm not here for that.

Idk I understand where you're coming from anon but people are messy and first loves are usually best left to the past. I would love Cassian to have a nice relationship for an arc or two in s2, but I don't have a lot of hope for that.

There's a number of choices I don't agree with but I actually think this might be the only way Bix might survive lol.

#star wars andor #bix caleen #cassian andor #andor spoilers #answered #asks #anonymous

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dragon-kazansky · 4 years ago

Text

Dangerous | Helmut Zemo

AU! Race car driver Zemo 😎

Gender neutral reader

Collage by @realremyd

[Masterlist]

[Previous chapter] - [Next chapter]

Part 2

Race day. The whole track was buzzing with excitement. Over the last two weeks, Zemo had been working hard and improving his car. Between all that, he was thinking about you.

It was strange how someone you met once, and hardly knew, made such an impact on your life. He wondered if you got the ticket. Would you even come?

He stood by his car. People had come to see him, but his eyes were only looking for one person. You had yet to make an appearance. Disappointment hung heavy in his chest.

Tony Stark stood across the way from him. He was chatting to his fans, smiling smugly and relishing in all the attention he was receiving.

If Zemo knew one thing, he wasn't going to let Stark win today. He glares at him as he takes a seat. He sighs. He had hoped you would have come. The thought of you helps cool his thoughts of the other driver.

It won't be long until they are called to the starting lane.

Zemo gets up and grabs his helmet, thinking to make a few last minute checks before they're needed. He would deal with the fact you were a once in a lifetime meeting and get on with the day. The disappointed had settled hard.

He turns his back and was about to make his way to his crew when a voice stopped him.

"I hope I didn't keep you waiting."

He turns around quickly, relieved at the sound of your voice. He grins when his eyes land on you.

"You did, but you're here now. Though, I think you owe me for keeping me waiting."

You smile. "I'm sorry. Getting here was a hassle. I was worried I was going miss the race entirely."

He couldn't stop smiling.

"I'm glad you made it."

The cheering behind you caught your attention. You turned to see Stark climbing into his car. The crowd around him was being asked to disperse.

"I won't let him win today."

You turn to see Zemo looking at you, completely ignoring what's happening behind you.

"He really riles you up, doesn't he?"

"How could you tell?" He asked, not meaning for a reply, but surprised by your response a the same.

"You're clenching your fists and jaw. Is he, like, your enemy?"

Zemo gives a heartless chuckle.

"Something like that."

You stepped closer to him and smiled softly. This closely, he could smell the fragrance you had put on today. You leaned in and kissed his cheek.

"A good luck charm. I'll be cheering for you."

You're not sure where your bravery had come from, but you wanted to do something to get his mind off Stark. He looked a little surprised, but he looked more smug than that.

"My own little good luck charm? Perhaps things will be different today."

You smile as you step back. The drivers are being called to the start line. Zemo doesn't quite want to leave you yet, but duty calls.

"That's your stand," he says, pointing to the seating area above him. "I'll be back here when the race ends, meet me."

"Alright."

Zemo has someone help you up to your seat in the stands. He gets into his car as you go, looking up once before driving his car over to the start.

You don't take your eyes off his car.

That tense atmosphere seems to fall over the whole racetrack. It was just like last time. Only there was something more here for you. You were here for Zemo this time, at his request.

The silence was thick. All you could hear was your breathing, and then that beautiful sound. Those engines revving. It was as if at that moment you forgot how to breathe.

They were off.

You were already clutching your seat.

You had a little bit of research on Helmut Zemo. He had won a couple of races before, but had never beaten Tony Stark. There was a rivalry there. This had been going on a few months. Zemo was insistent on beating him at least once.

Maybe, just maybe, today will be that day.

Your eyes flick to the screen where the cars will be picked up now they're out of sight. You can feel your stomach dropping as you watch eagerly. Zemo and Stark are once again locked in battle with each other. They are ready so far ahead of the others and you wonder how they do that so fast. You bite your lip as you watch the purple car.

This would mean so much to Zemo if he beat Stark. It would put Tony down a few notches, maybe then he wouldn't be so high and mighty.

You have no idea what happened. It was as if you suddenly zoned back in to the race. Attention brought back to the screen at the sound of screeching tyres.

You tense up.

Luckily no damage had been done, but both Stark and Zemo had spiralled out of control, both cars now facing the wrong way. You could see them on the screen.

The others will catch up soon. They don't have much time to keep their places if they're going to get back into the race.

Stark's car sparks to life. You feel your heart drop as he takes off again.

Zemo cannot get his car to start again.

Banging his hand against the steering wheel he glares after Stark. Another race he will not win. No doubt Tony will have something to say later.

You can only watch as Helmut climbs put of his car and walks off the tracks. All the other cars speed past him. His car won't be crossing the finishing line today.

You don't care about the rest of the race, you leave tour seat and hurry down to the barricade. You would wait for Zemo like you said you would.

He doesn't return to the stop until the race is over, Stark's name being hollered from every direction. He comes over with a hard look on his face, jaw clenched in anger. His helmet was in his hand, hair slightly messy from it's removal.

He stalks over to where you are waiting. He doesn't even look at you as he drops the helmet and sits down, head in his hands.

"Zemo?"

He doesn't say anything. He just sits there and sighs. Your lucky kiss didn't bring him much luck.

There was no way you could be impressed with his skills after that. He had wanted to impress you today. He had wanted to cross that finish line for you. He failed.

He swears it's Stark's fault they collided like that. Now his team had to go fetch the abandoned car and fix it.

One day. One day he would beat that man.

"Zemo?"

He lowers his hands and turns his head to the side, looking at you with gentle eyes. He has a little smile on his face, but you could tell he was utterly defeated.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?" You ask, confused by the sudden apology.

"For wasting my lucky charm."

You chuckle softly and sit down on the tarmac by his chair.

"It's not a big deal. I'm just glad you're alright. I know how dangerous this can be."

He nods. People can die in this job.

"You have been doing some research?"

"Yes. I wanted to understand your world better." You look down sheepishly. It felt strange confessing that to him.

"My world is fast," he says, voice dropping in volume.

You both ignore the cheering happening in the distance. Tony was receiving his reward as his team parks his car opposite you.

"I like the fast lane, I found out. I'd like to stay in it a little longer."

Zemo's gaze landed on you.

"Would you like to join me for a drink?" He asks, wanting to take his mind off the race.

"I would love to," you smile up at him.

"Wait for me by the gate, I'll pick you up once I've changed."

You nod and stand up. You make your way to the exit of the racetrack, waiting by the gate. Zemo goes to get out of his racing gear.

As you wait, Stark makes his exit. He spots you, grinning.

"Waiting for someone?"

"Yes," you reply curtly.

"You're wasting your time on him. You know that? Not only is he a danger on the track, but off it too." Tony peered at you over his shades, "consider that a warning."

"I think I can judge him for myself, but thank you."

Tony shrugs and drives off.

The nerve of that man! Granted, he didn't sound he meant ill feelings as he said it, but that fact he even felt the need to say that angered you. Sure, you hadn't known Zemo all that well, and everything you did know you got off the internet, but you felt more than capable to make a judgement yourself.

Tony was out of sight now.

You turned when you heard another car approach. It was a different one from the one he had two weeks ago. You smile as he pulls up in front of you. You climb in.

Zemo drives you both away from the track.

"What happened to the race car?"

"My crew will take it back and look at the damage. I'll check in with them tomorrow. I have some changes to make to it."

"What happens now? I mean, since you didn't cross the line," you ask, wanting to know more.

"I'll be set back a bit, but I'll overcome it. One day I will beat Stark. His winning streak will have to end at some point, and I would very much like to do it before the racing season ends."

"How long do you have?"

"There are three more races before the season ends."

"I believe in you."

For some reason those words set off something inside of him. He glances at you briefly as a smile spreads across his face. Perhaps it was fate that brought you to him. He would like to think that.

Zemo knee exactly where to take you. A good quiet place for drinks.

The bar was nice. Nothing flashy or loud, just a casual place for drinks. Zemo and yourself sat in the back, out of immediate eyesight of everyone else. He wanted to spend this time with you, and only you.

"What else did you learn in your research?" He asks, wanting to kick off the conversation.

"You've only been racing a handful of years, only being racing professional a few months, and yet you're super talented on the track. I had to look up some of the racers, most of which have been racing professionally for years. Yet, you're up there with them," you say, sounding impressed.

"I'm good at what I do, no doubt about that."

"How did you get into racing?"

"I love cars. Back home, I have a collection of classic models. You have only seen two of the cars I own. One day I decided to give racing a go. The thrill that runs through your veins when you're speeding around that track, it is unlike anything I've ever felt before. Adrenaline takes over once your foot is on the pedal. All you see is the track ahead."

You smile as you listen.

"I could get used to going to races."

Zemo looks at you with soft eyes, a smile tugging at his lips.

"I would very much like it if you would."

"I can't guarantee I can be at them all. I have to work too. My job isn't nearly as cool as yours though."

"How about this, for every race you come watch, I take you out for drinks after," he offered.

"Are you... asking me out?"

"Only if you attend the races," he states.

You look down at your drink.

"I'll see what I can do, I suppose."

He chuckles, "I'll take it."

"So, there's only three races left, right?"

"Yes," he confirms.

"You have to win all three to beat Stark this season?"

"Yes."

"Can you do it?"

Zemo looks at you with focused eyes. His lips pulled into a smug grin.

"I'm going to do it."

"When is the next race?"

"Two weeks. They are two weeks apart each."

"Right." You read that online. "What's the plan from here. How do you spend the time between races?"

"Improving. Tomorrow I will meet with my crew and see the damages done to my car. I will do whatever I have to do to get it back in top form. I will improve it and test it. Over and over if I have to. I will beat Stark."

You smile.

"I know you can do it. You can."

"Well, if you keep saying it, then I know I can too," he winks at you. You chuckle and try to hide your smile by sipping your drink.

This was nice. You would get to do this again as long as you attended the rest of the races. You made a silent promise to do whatever you could to attend the remaining races. Work be damned!

When you finished your drink, Zemo drove you back to your hotel. Much like last time, you both lingered in the car before you went inside.

"Would you like to come to the garage tomorrow? I could show you what we do behind the scenes," he offers. If he was being genuinely honest, be just wanted to spend more time with you.

"Sure. I'm free tomorrow, but then I'll have to catch the next train home."

"I'm honoured you went to all the trouble to come see me race again," he smiled.

"You invited me. I wasn't going to pass up the chance to see you again," you blurted out.

You sit there in shock. Zemo looks extremely proud and smug.

"I mean-"

"No, no. Don't say any more," he laughs.

You're a blushing mess as you climb put of his car.

"See you tomorrow then?"

You just nod and head inside, embarrassed beyond belief. You can't believe you said that.

Zemo drives away with a smile.

@ajeff855 @moonstuffsteve @sky-writes-stuff @lieutenantn @lostghostgirl94 @friday18eo @yaskna @my-blood-is-maple-syrup @gingerwriter97 @lunamooney2406 @wilder-fangirl @nectav @whovianayesha @thesuitkovian @cathrin2405 @deathtothepatriarchy @belle82devart @dxrksxul06 @killeromanoff @alex-the-nb

#helmut zemo x reader #zemo #zemo x reader #helmut zemo #baron helmut zemo #marvel #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier

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tastyykpop · 4 years ago

Text

𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑢𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

•pairings: enemy, barista and student!jaemin x student and barista!reader

♡𝑠𝑚𝑢𝑡♡

<next>

•warnings: dom!jaemin, brat!reader, brat taming, crying kink, hair pulling, choking, small praising, small size kink, degradation (slut, whore), dumbification (sexual and non sexual use) nanas kinda mean :( but gets a lil nicer :), jaemin refers to himself as nana a lot mostly when they do the dirty, bulging kink, pet names (princess, baby, baby girl, little girl, pretty girl), unprotected sex (please be safe), slight face slapping (he slaps her once), rough sex clearly, some sexual tension, I hope i got everything

You were fuming!

The boy in front of you not even batting an eyelash, just laughing at the mess dripping down your face.

You smelt like an iced americano.

People around you held their hands to their mouths in shock and others tried to hold back their laughter. Some even pointed at you or gave sympathetic looks.

It wasnt like people were surprised anymore. Jaemin always had something up his sleeve for you. But he never went as far as pouring his coffee on you.

"Aw poor baby. Do you need a napkin?" He faked sympathy with a pout and his friends began laughing. You just got up and walk by them, making sure to bump into jaemins shoulder on your way through.

It was almost everyday that Jaemin would do something so uncalled for. It was like he was made to push your buttons. Even as you're walking out of the college building, you can still hear the boy laughing at you. Or maybe it was the other students. Either way, you wanted to kill him.

As you trudged towards your car, a sense of relief washed over you. A great happiness that only comes when you finished your classes and could go home. Only this happiness stayed for a good 2 hours until you have to go to your part time job at the cafe with your favorite person of course. But its not like you can quit. You need the money so you can live and get the education you need, no matter how hard it is being with him.

It was then when you sat in your car and the squishing in the seat made your face curl into a scowl, only made you think of ways to get away with murder. It was gross really. The seats were sticky, plus your hair and clothes were sticking to you like lip gloss. A shower would be perfect right about now.

"Hi y- oh..." Your roommate, jimin, stared at your messy state. Giving you a good up and down before shrugging his shoulders, "jaemin?"

You sighed, walking over to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, "Who else? Its always him."

Jimin gave you a small smile and came closer as if ready to hug you but didn't because he didn't want to get sticky. "You know, maybe you should quit that job."

"No."

He groaned and snatched the water that you were about to sip, "Why? You'd only see jaemin in school. And you wouldnt have to stick with his bickering in work." He huffed, shaking his head, "Girls are so difficult sometimes."

You tried leaping up to grab the bottle from jimin, but all he did was hold it above his head. You stomped on his foot in return. Jimin huddled over and you snatched the bottle, smirking with victory as you put it to your lips.

"You fucking snake." Jimin hissed in pain.

A laugh fell from your lips as you walked by him, completely ignoring his words and his pain, "Im gonna take a shower."

Once you got to your room, the first thing you did was grab your work clothes, a towel, and underwear and got ready for the warm shower.

After you switched on the water and let it heat up, you stepped in and immediately felt at peace as the water cascaded over your body, cleaning off the almost dried coffee. Your hair felt lighter, like a feather and your fingers could now slip through the strands easily without an issue. The scent of your body wash overpowered the coffee smell and you felt much better. Water, soap, and coffee were beginning to fill the drain as you finished washing up. You rolled your eyes at the sight of the murky water. What a bastard.

For once you were actually happy to wear your work clothes after what had happened earlier. The clothes actually felt comfortable and jimin was becoming more and more confused as to why you were hugging yourself with a huge smile on the couch.

"No one should be that happy after a shower." He started flipping through channels on the t.v.

"Dont tell me how to feel, I dont smell like jaemins coffee anymore." You gushed overdramtically. Jimin could only role his eyes.

"Please...you act like he's a demon of some sort."

You squinted your eyes at jimin and flared your nostrils, "he is. Hes a nasty, dumb, annoying, self centered-"

"Okay okay I get it! You hate jaemin! The funny thing is you can never get his name out of your mouth." Everything stopped and your head snapped in jimins directions.

"What are you saying?" A frown found itself on your face, jimin leaned closer.

"Im saying that maybe you might like him."

You shrieked in disgust, blocking your ears with your hands. Jimin laughed at your reaction. Almost falling off the couch in the process. "Ew! Gross! Why would you even think that!"

"Like I said, you can never get his name out of your mouth. I think its pretty obvious you like him." He was still giggling at you except your face was anything but happy, more grossed out at how he thought you could like such a person

"I can't stand you. I'm leaving for work." You stood up and jimin did nothing to stop you from going. Even though you still had about 15 minutes until you normally leave. "Ill be back at 9." The door slammed behind you, leaving jimin alone with another laughing fit.

You got in the car and drove off to your work, still trying to come up with a reason as to why jimin is saying all this. Sure maybe you talk about jaemin a little lot but that doesn't mean you like him. Its very much the opposite and jimin should know that. It only frustrates you the more you think about it. Liking someone like jaemin? Please. That would be your nightmare.

As you pulled up to the cafe, there were only a few other cars parked. Few were from other workers but the majority were most like customers or people just trying to get a free parking space. Lucky for you, there were many open spaces, unlike when you come later and they're filled. Maybe leaving earlier wasnt such a bad idea. It saved you the 3 minute walk.

"Y/n! You're just on time!" One of your coworkers, irene, called out as you stepped inside the shop. "We need help back here!" You had no time to even begin to say your shift hasn't started yet when irene took you by the hand and dragged you to where the coffee was being made. "We have a bunch of online orders coming in so can you please help us with the coffee and food?" She tossed you a brown apron for you to put on and you nodded, trying to get your brain to speed up with everything in the world.

It was so quiet when you walked in that you never even realized that the back was busy. Coffee cups were filled and put into trays for orders, food was being heated or baked. It was a chaotic place right now and all you could do was help. So as fast as you could, you began with the first order on the screen. A large mocha with extra extra sugar, whipped cream, and chocolate curls. Easy enough you thought as you reached for a cup but a hand beat you to it.

Your eyes looked up at the person in front of you and just when you thought everything was going fine, it wasn't, "What are you doing here so early?" You asked bitterly.

"I always come in early. What are you doing here so early?" Jaemin asked whilst holding a death grip on the cup.

"Just felt like coming early." You muttered, watching as jaemin turned away with a scoff, quickly cutting the conversation short. "Bastard."

Jaemin was busy making what you were originally going to do, so you looked for another order to get ready. It was just two cake pops and a small strawberry banana smoothie. Something you've been craving recently from the lack of sweetness and fruit in your day to day life.

The cake pops and smoothie were quick to make and were soon sent off to the customer. You happily beamed and wished them good day once they left.

After then there was a familiar face with a friend right next to him, he was quite handsome you must say. He was indeed so handsome that he just looked unreal. "Hey jimin. Whose this?" You nodded towards the bright black haired man.

"This is taemin! He wanted some coffee so I brought him- hey stop staring at him!" Jimin snapped you out of your trance and taemin chuckled.

"Its okay shes cute." He eye smiled, showing off his perfectly white teeth. He's definitely not real.

Jimin tsk'd, "Until you get to know her."

"Yeah yeah... whatever." You smiled at him, completely oblivious to what he just said.

They both ordered and took a seat next to the window. You were still staring at taemin with your head in your hand until someone tapped your shoulder, "Who are they?" Jaemins voice rang in your ears, making you stand up straight.

"Thats my roommate, jimin, and his friend taemin." You glanced back at the boys, mainly at taemin and just stared like he was your first crush.

"Quit staring your gonna scare him away." Jaemin said earning himself a chuckle from you.

You stuck your tongue out, "He called me cute."

The boy smirked from ear to ear and leaned in close to your face, "He was lying." You grumbled and pushed him away from you, getting annoyed by his presence very quickly.

"Jaemin and y/n, get back to work we have orders to do!" Irene called out. Both of you quickly returning to your stations and getting things ready.

"Look at him. Hes basically waiting for me to come over to him." Seulgi, another person in this school you dispise, said as she looked at jaemin in the back of the room. She wasn't very quiet either considering you were only a few seats away from him. So it only meant that jaemin could hear her, but chose to ignore it. Typical boy.

"Honestly. He looks so good today too." Sana, her best friend, commented.

"Oh and did you hear what he was planning on doing today to y/n? Apparently he's gonna-"

"Class get back in your seats, we have much to discuss." The professor stood in the front of the class. Everyone shifted and moved to their appropriate places and waited for the teacher to begin. Unlike you, who was wondering what seulgi was going to say next. If its something worse than coffee being poured on your head, you may just have to bury yourself six feet under after this.

As you were taking notes something flung towards your head and hit you on the side, looking over was jaemin with a smirk was he held his fingers in a sling shot shape. A rubber band was laying on your lap. Then another one. One even hit your cheek creating a small smack sound as you winced in pain. Oh you desperately wanted to get out of this seat and punch the boy in the face.

"Excuse me sir!" You called out, raising your head. The whole class looked at you and your cheeks began to heat up. "May i go to the restroom?" The professor nodded and you headed out. Not until you stopped in your tracks from a loud smack to your butt, causing the whole class to turn around again.

Jaemin was enjoying this, the way you stared at him with wide eyes and open mouth, made him just want to do it again. He never thought this reaction from you would be so entertaining and he tried his best not show it, with only a small smirk covering his face.

You rushed out of the room, faster than ever and leaned against the nearest surface you could find. Not only were you questioning reality, but also why jaemin just did that.

"That little bitch." You said to yourself as you paced back and forth in the hallway, staring at the ground.

"Excuse me?" Jaemin voice rang in your ears as you looked up with a angry red face. Steam was even coming out of your ears and nose. "Did you just call nana a bitch?" He put his hands to his chest and pouted, "Little girl you need to learn some manners." Jaemin tilted his head to the side and began walking forward.

"Shut up." You had nothing else to say as you grit your teeth, looking at the ground.

Jaemin didnt like that and grabbed the back of your neck to make you look at him, "What? Did your stupid head stop thinking? Your normally so chatty for nana what happened?"

"Jaemin i-" you cut yourself off as you felt jaemin grip the back of your neck tighter causing you to moan in pain.

"Stupid girl." Jaemin whispered, forcefully pushing you away. It was not strong enough to make you fall but at least stumble.

You glowered, earning yourself a chuckle from him. "What will it take for you to leave me alone!?"

"Bring this to table 15 please! Thanks!" Irene smiled as she handed you a small cup of iced coffee and you took it, taking it to its designated place. What you didn't except was to see taemin again, gleaming up at you.

"Hi y/n." He smiled and you tried to remain calm.

God how is someone so beautiful?

"Hey, I didnt except you to come back." You returned the warm smile and started to play with the apron around your waist.

Taemin giggled, "I actually quite like this place, its cozy." He began to take a sip from the straw, eyes still trained on you. If only you weren't so awkward with him, you wouldve found something to say other than staring at him and indulging in the beauty before you. But lucky for you someone behind the counter called for you, quickly averting your attention back to work.

The next order was a shake, so you grabbed the correct ingredients and began using the blendor, when someone came next to you, doing the same thing "You seem like your having fun flirting around." The unwanted conversation with jaemin began, "makes nana kind of jealous."

"Hm funny." You ignored him and continued blending the ice cream.

Jaemin casually rolled his eyes and glanced down at your nonchalant face before returning back to the blender, "you know you really do piss me off."

You sneered and snickered to yourself, "what are you gonna do about it?"

"I was thinking of fucking you dumb or until you know your place but maybe thats a bit too rewarding."

The cup was removed and set aside from the blender with your hands placed on your hips, "Im sorry what?"

"Did I stutter?" Jaemin raised an eyebrow and also put the cup down. You went silent, not knowing whether or not to just laugh it off or quickly run away. "And I'm still waiting on my apology."

"One, I am not going to apologize to your bitchy ass. Two, even if I did let you, you could never 'fuck me dumb', it just wouldn't happen. Now stop trying to get in my pants."

Jaemin opened then closed his mouth about to say something, but didn't and just put on a sweet smile, "Go take these to table 7 for nana." He said like he was testing yoj.

"Why? You made them."

"Nana told you to do something little girl, now do it." Jaemins sweet smile was still plastered on his face yet it intimidated you enough to do as he said.

Taemin was long gone when you walked out and you were kind of sad as you weren't able to say goodbye before he left. You placed the shake down on the table and was ready to walk away when you heard your name being called.

"Y/n? You work here?" Seulgis voice spoke as you turned around. Both her and sana were looking at you with shit eating grins.

"Doesn't jaemin also work here seulgi?" Sana asked the girl in front of her and seulgi looked as if she got the brightest idea.

"Oh yeah! Y/n can you get jaemin over here? Pretty please?" She asked sweetly yet with a hint of sourness and you listened, not feeling like ignoring her at the moment.

You told jaemin that seulgi and sana were out front looking for him and he nonchalantly went out without question. Leaving you to do some of the work alone, which you didn't mind considering its jaemin, the annoying bastard who won't leave you alone, but he does help you whenever you need it. And right now, it was a bit busy, and you needed it.

After doing 4 more online orders and sending them off through the driveway, jaemin finally came back with a scowl on his face looking ready to beat someone up. "What the hell is wrong with you!?" He raised his voice only loud enough for you to hear. But you were quite confused on what was happening.

"What are you talking about?" You asked, tilting your head to the side like a puppy.

Jaemin groaned, "I knew you were fucking dumb but come on y/n! Why is seulgi covered in the shake i gave you?"

You paused for a moment, unable to answer that. Is he assuming you spilt her shake on her? Why would you even do that in the first place. Yeah you don't like her, but you're not going to stoop to her or his level. "I dont know."

He slammed his hand on the wall near your head, startling you a bit, "You dont know huh?" You shook your head slowly. "Seulgi and sana both said you purposefully spilt the shake on seulgi. Now answer me honestly. Is that true?" You shook your head again, feeling really small and helpless under his strong gaze.

"I-i didnt spill t-the skake." You muttered quietly.

He inhaled sharply, "Then who did huh? Or maybe you don't know because you're so dumb."

"S-stop..." you frowned, looking down at floor, but jaemin had other plans and made you look up at him. A single tear slide down your cheek and you swear you saw a small grin appear on his face.

"Tell nana what happened." His voice became softer as he swiped away the stray tear on your face.

You huffed, still afraid that he'd do something to you although you knew he wouldnt purposely cause you pain. "W-well she asked me to go get you, which I did, a-and her shake was perfectly fine when I left."

"Are you saying she purposely spilt the shake on herself to make me angry at you?"

"Y-yes."

"Ill believe my little girl for now, but if I find out you are lying, you will be in big trouble got that?" Jaemin lifted his hand off the wall and proceeded to walk back out of the room. Leaving you shocked at his words and still frightened by an angry jaemin.

You went to the cash register once jaemin left to get ready to count the bills until you heard jaemin and seulgi arguing. Lucky for them, no one but you and him were working right now. Irene went home earlier and the normal crew always leave around 6:30, leaving just you and jaemin.

"It was only a prank nana. No need to get so worked up. And besides you didn't even prank her today, be glad I did for you." Seulgi said smiling at the boy in front of her.

Jaemin physically cringed when he heard his nickname roll off her tongue, "you didn't have to do that."

You stood there watching, astonished how jaemin was standing up for you. Hes supposed to hate you. Jaemin didn't even bother going with the girls when they offered him a ride, instead he stayed with you and even helped close. Something he normally doesn't do because he leaves before you and gives you all the hard things to do.

"Hurry up and finish." Jaemin spoke. A little bit of anger still laced in his voice.

"Whats your rush?"

He sighed, "I wanna go home. Plus I can't stand this place right now. I'm pissed."

You finished wiping down that last table and walked over to him, "Just go home then."

"Not without you."

You gave him a dirty look, "im not going home with you."

Jaemin leaned down, his face only inches from yours and whispered, "Remember what I said earlier hm? I wanna fuck you dumb." He then grabbed your waist bringing you closer to him, if that was possible, "Can I do that pretty girl? Can nana fuck you so hard you won't even remember anything but my cock?" You were so lost in your mind that everything became a blur. Jaemins words sounded so sweet but were so lewd. And you were so close to kissing him until he put his finger on your lips, "But you have to wait." You frowned and were only getting more angry by the second. You went from not wanting anything to do with jaemin to just about ready to beg him to kiss you. Was it that easy for him to get in your head? Or were you so sex deprived that now jaemin seemed somewhat interesting?

You laid on jaemins bed getting bored with the constant teasing. He never did anything but that. Jaemin would get close to your lips and back away as you chased him. Hed chuckle and coo at you for being so desperate. But that wasn't the point of all the teasing. He really just wanted you to beg him to kiss you. No words will come out of his mouth telling you to beg, he just excepted it to happen sooner or later. But youre too stubborn to do so, so you grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down to kiss him, catching him by surprise.

Jaemins hands gripped your wrists and pulled them off his face, pinning them to the bed, "You didnt even ask to kiss me." Jaemin pulled away, raising his eyebrow high, "Dont you think thats a bit mean."

"So was teasing me, but I let you continue." You huffed, trying to free your wrists from his death grip but it was no use.

"You dont have a say on whether i continue or not. I'm in charge here and you take what I give you, understand?" You rolled your eyes. It was your intention to make jaemin angry. You wanted to push his buttons.

What you didnt know was that not answering jaemin correctly would earn you a slap to the face. And jaemin was not even fazed by it.

"Dont roll your eyes and answer nana." Jaemin smiled. "Can you say 'yes nana'?"

"Y-yes nana."

"Good girl." Jaemin muttered and began slowly kissing your jawline down to your neck, sucking here and there creating shades of purple and red marks. Oh how he loved the marks he was leaving.

You so desperately wanted to grip onto jaemins hair and pull it but he never budged his hands, only tightening his grasps. As he continued attacking your neck, you began to lift your hips up to get some sort friction. Jaemin noticed and shifted so that his thigh was in between your legs and rubbing against your clothed core. A spew of quiet moans left your lips but you wanted more. Jaemin was going to soft and slow for your liking.

"I thought you were going to fuck me dumb?" You said and jaemin lifted his head to give you a quick kiss on the lips.

"Patience baby. You aren't ready yet." He let go of your wrists and took your shirt off. The cold air made you shiver and jaemin chuckled. "I wanna make you cum at least 2 times before I fuck you."

"Then stop talking and do it." You replied, pushing your hips up to rub against his thigh, but they were pushed back down on the bed.

"Didnt I say to take what I give you?" Your head slowly moved up and down and jaemin smiled, "so why arent you happy with what nana gives you?"

"I want more..." you sighed as he started to slide your pants and panties off, discarding them somewhere in the room. His mouth slowly started kissing your inner thighs and you could feel your heat dripping with anticipation. You whined for more but only got a slap to the thigh telling you to be quiet. Needless to say you didn't listen and continued to try to get him closer to where you needed him most but pulling his hair.

Jaemin groaned grabbing your wrist again and pushed it away roughly. His patience was wearing out. You were more stubborn than he thought, but that doesn't mean he can't still break you. "Next time you do that, I'll flip you over and beat your ass till its purple." Your breath hitched and as much as you were tempted, you wanted to be able to sit for a few days so you stayed put and kept your hands to yourself.

But the desperation was getting to you and you wanted relief which jaemin wasnt giving you until you felt his two fingers circling around your clit. "P-please jaemin." You moaned as he flicked your clit with his middle finger. Then soon enough he stuck two fingers inside you. Your pussy automatically clenching around his digits as he moved at a steady in and out pace.

It felt so good. His fingers felt so good. They made your body twist in pleasure as more moans left your mouth. Jaemin was watching your face closely as it contorted with pleasure. He loved seeing your eyebrows bunched together, so focused on the way his fingers worked inside you.

"My pretty slut. Taking nanas fingers so well." He gushed, still watching your face. Jaemin could feel himself get even more painfully hard but he didn't want to fuck you just yet. He meant it when he said he wanted you to cum 2 times. So he picked up the speed with his fingers, your hands landing on his forearm that was resting on near your hip. "Are you gonna cum for nana princess?"

You frantically nodded your head as a wave of pleasure washed over you. You could feel your cum leak out of you as jaemin leaned down and began eating away at your cunt.

"J-jaemin! So...go-good!" Your head flew back as his tongue sucked on your clit and a loud moan filled the room.

Jaemin smirked against your heat, "I haven't even fucked you yet and your already sounding like a dumb whore. Its so easy to break you princess."

"N-no its j-ju-...." you whimpered as your brain wasnt even trying to help you function right. His tongue was extraordinary. "Mmmm."

"Aw my dumb little princess is so cute." He muttered diving back into lapping at your soaked cunt. It was almost as if on cue and without warning, you were cumming again. Jaemins hasty tongue took it all. Groaning at the taste of you in his mouth.

He sat up over you, grabbing your neck, pulling you into a deep kiss. You tasted yourself on his tongue. Deepening the kiss by grabbing the back of his hair, jaemin couldnt help but moan a bit as his cock brushed against your thigh. He felt big. Bigger than the few guys you've been with and you were ecstatic.

You tugged on jaemins pants and shirt as a way to tell him to take them off and he did after getting off of you and sitting on the edge of the bed. His abs were more defined than you thought and when his cock sprung free, your mouth started watering. Jaemins smirk only grew watching you stare. He was starting to get cocky

"What? You wanna suck my cock?" Jaemin asked sweetly.

"Yes please." You reached over to try and touch him but he didn't allow you. And smacked your hand away. It was a way for him to tease you and you hated it.

"So kind for nana now. Ealier you were so cock hungry that you decided to be a brat. Did nana finally break you?" Jaemin whispered as he moved a piece of hair out of your face, looking at you with fill admiration.

"No you didn't break me. But I wanna suck you off." You whined as jaemin picked you up and sat you just above his cock, the tip teasing at your entrance.

"Too bad. Now I want you to sit." Jaemin said looking into your eyes. You obeyed with a little hesitation. His cock was surely going to hurt you so you took it slowly and started lowering your hips. "Fuck...thats a good girl." Jaemin praised, watching his cock dissappear between your legs and your tummy get full with his cock. "My baby's so tiny you can see my cock in your belly." He said, pushing down on the area where he was imprinted in you.

Slowly you started moving, lifting your hips up and down. You were wet enough that he could easily slide in and out with no problem.

Jaemins head fell back as he sighed with relief, grunting as you picked up the pace, "So tight for nana." He whispered and you moaned back loudly. His cock stretched every inch of you to the point where it felt like you'd split.

"More more more." You whined against jaemins neck, gripping his shoulders tightly. Carefully jaemin flipped you both over so he was on top and continued pounding into your destroyed cunt. He kept a hand around your neck squeezing it every so often as a choked out moan left your throat.

His cock was so deep and fast that you couldn't think straight. You kept blabbering about his cock. Only thing on your mind was how nice he felt inside you. Jaemin bit his lip as he smirked at you, grabbing your hair and bringing your face close to his, "Now will you admit that I fucked you dumb and say your nanas dumb slut?"

"Y-yes, I'm na-nanas dumb sl-slut." You cried, tears falling down your face from how good he felt inside and if you thought jaemin couldn't go any faster, he did. His thrusts were hard and rough, sure enough to hurt your thighs tomorrow as he pounded relentlessly. "So close." Your voice came out choked as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. You held on to jaemins hand that was on your neck as he helped you with your orgasm.

Jaemin wasnt far behind you with his and groaned loudly, "fuck, where do you want it princess?"

"I-inside." You moaned as the feeling of hot cum was shot inside you. Jaemins hips kept moving him through his orgasm until he slowly came to a stop. Both of you panted loudly, there were even a few tears falling down your cheek here and there.

Jaemin slowly pulled out, making sure not to hurt you, and he laid beside you. "You did so well." He kissed your forehead. "Cmon ill carry you to bathroom so we can take a bath." He said picking up your worn out naked figure with so much care. Making you forget he was your enemy.

#nct smut #nct #na jaemin #na jaemin smut #kpop #kpop smut #nct 127 #nct dream #wayv #nct u #jaemin #jaemin nct dream #jaemin nct #nct dream smut #wayv smut #nct 127 smut

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majwrites · 3 years ago

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Beauty Standards

Don Flack x Reader (Romance)

Summary: Reader gets insecure about their looks and contemplates ending their engagement with Flack.

A/N:This one was requested by @sirishavenigalla. I'm not that experienced with writing romance, so I hope it turned out alright.

Warnings: Reader struggles with their self image, fighting in a relationship, some angst

Something about Don Flack seemed off today. Danny had noticed that his friend wasn't the attentive, focused detective he usually would be. After Flack had snapped at Mac Taylor, didn't eat anything for lunch and left all paperwork unfinished in a messy pile, Danny decided he had to confront his friend about this: "Don, we need to talk". "Why, what is it", right now Flack sounded only sad and tired. "Something is going on with you. It's not only that you are not focused on the case, you're wearing a Stone Temple Pilots shirt to work. It's nothing you'd normally do and I know that this shirt is not yours but (Y/N)s", Danny wasn't only worried about Flack, but also about (Y/N). It was well known that Don Flack and (Y/N) (L/N) had a tendency to make really emotion based decisions. Flack waited for a bit before he started talking: "(Y/N) left me behind". "What do you mean?", Danny was confused, it had always seemed like (Y/N) and Don had a picture perfect relationship. They had met at a concert. Sam had dragged him there and he hadn't really been in the mood for a concert but that had changed once he saw (Y/N) in the crowd. Three years had passed and they had recently gotten engaged. Why should all of this be over now?

Now the answer to this question wasn't an easy one. We live in a society where people get judged by others and feel pressure to meet beauty standards that are often impossible to achieve. (Y/N) was usually aware of the fact that everything they saw in magazines was usually photoshopped to a point where it wouldn't even be possible to fit all important organs into the model, but ever since one of their family members had asked them if they put on more weight, (Y/N) started to feel more and more insecure about their weight. They had suffered with body image issues a lot when they were younger and now they feared that they weren't good enough for Flack. They loved him so much and right now (Y/N) was so convinced that they couldn't make him happy that they made a rushed decision. (Y/N) left the shiny engagement ring on the kitchen table and added a note.

Donnie, I'm very sorry to do this, but I need space to think about something. I'm only doing this for you.

-(Y/N)

And so, (Y/N) left the apartment to spend the day somewhere else.

"Did you try calling them?", all of this seemed very odd to Danny, "you definitely have to talk about this". "They won't pick up the phone and they're very vague in the answers to my texts. I don't know what to do anymore, maybe this is all my fault". "You should go and find them, our case is closed anyway and we have the rest covered", Danny sounded very convincing. "Thanks Danny, I'll go and try to fix this", Flack left the CSI building.

He finally found (Y/N) at a motel, sitting on the chair in front of a mirror. He wanted to go in for a hug immediately but as (Y/N) stood from the chair they pushed him away. "Why did you just leave? I was worried sick about you, is it something I did?", he sounded angry for some reason. "You wouldn't understand it anyways", the last thing (Y/N) wanted was a fight but it just happened. "What do you mean, (Y/N)? Am I not good enough?", even Don Flack gets insecure when it comes to the love of his life. "No, that's the problem, Donnie. You're perfect. You're the best boyfriend anyone could ask for and you deserve so much better than being with me", (Y/N) started crying and they hated it. Flack just stared in confusion as (Y/N) continued: "Just look at me, I'm boring and ugly and as my family never fails to tell me, I've been putting on weight. I don't deserve someone as good as you, in fact I deserve to be alone forever, because no one could ever love me". Flack needed a moment to process everything that (Y/N) had just said. Then he pulled them into a hug and this time they just let it happen. He started to ramble: "(Y/N), please don't think like that. I love you more than anyone else on this planet. Whatever other people say about you doesn't matter. You're perfect to me just the way you are". (Y/N) started crying even harder but Flack just held onto them. He continued: "I love the way you look at me when you get really excited about something, and I love how you sing along to every song and can always tell me what a song is called when I only know three words and the melody. You're the most kind and caring person I know and I love the way you look, you're the most beautiful person to me even when we take a walk at night and the only light comes from a street lamp". "Do you really mean all of this, Donnie?", (Y/N) leaned their head against his shoulder. "Every single word. And what's really impossible for me is to stop loving you, so will you please stay with me?", he looked at them with a pleading expression. "Of course I will. I love you so much. I'm sorry for reacting like this", (Y/N) felt a little embarrassed about it now. "Don't apologize, it's not your fault", Flack fished (Y/N)s engagement ring out of his pocket and slid it back onto their finger.

"Do you want to come back home with me?" "Yeah, let's go", and so they left the motel.

#csi ny #reader insert fanfiction #gender neutral reader #don flack x reader #don flack #csi new york #romance

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kristoffs-lullaby · 3 years ago

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I know that a lot of people want it to be true but if I'm honest? I really don't want Sun Wukong and Macaque's strained relationship to be a result of a miscommunication. Like I think it'd be a huge cop-out from what they're already building up with Sun Wukong. Do I think he actually killed Macaque? No. But I also don't think that their troubles started there. Macaque speaks as though he's harbored resentment for Wukong for a WHILE and for a variety of reasons that eventually all circle back to the kind of friend that Sun Wukong was. As we've seen in the show up to this point, it feels like they're showing us that-- while Sun Wukong is a good person-- he's also INCREDIBLY messy with the way he handles not only problems but his relationship with people too. Not to mention that they keep bringing up how Wukong managed things in the past (i.e. his legacy being built on him being reckless) and how he really hasn't.. changed. S3 had Mei straight up tell him that he doesn't see how he keeps hurting the people who care about him the most. So no it wouldn't surprise me if he really did end up doing certain things that led Macaque to feel like he was nothing more than this Hero's Shadow.

S1 when we first get introducted to Macaque, during the final fight, Macaque makes the statement: “The real Sun Wukong would’ve leveled this whole mountain to try and stop me! but you’re scared because you think you’ll hurt some kid!?” The emphasis on "some kid" makes more sense when you take in the context that they give us during S2 about their past with one another. Macaque and Sun Wukong were friends who fought alongside each other. And if this is the case, then Macaque wouldn't have made a statement like that unless he knew what lengths Sun Wukong would go to in battle even if sometimes that meant putting the people around him in harm's way (and people he cared about at that). Which is why it baffles him that Sun Wukong holds back during their fight because MK is a kid SWK only just met a few months ago. The SWK HE was friends with wouldn't have cared to put HIM in danger.

Then we get Shadow Play where Macaque's whole deal is that he's been watching as MK begins to leave his friends behind. And a lot of this lesson to MK felt PERSONAL. As if he knew what it felt like to be the friend on the sidelines as he watched the hero take on the burden all on his own, forgetting that he has people behind him. Which is what MK was doing. In the Spider Queen episode, as soon as MK saw that Pigsy didn't open shop he immediately freaked out because Pigsy never forgets to do that and thus he comes to the conclusion that he's missing (which he was correct about)! But during Shadow Play, when he comes across Pigsy's closed shop he doesn't bat an eye. He doesn't realize that hey. Maybe my friends didn't ditch me at the theater because why would they have done that in the first place? And I get that MK was going through a lot at the time and was trying to process it, but I get the feeling that it was kind of the point. Macaque was watching as MK followed in Wukong's footsteps and isolated himself to the point where he took it upon himself to be the hero on his own. He has all this power now and suddenly his friends can't help him with that anymore? He's purposefully keeping things from them and Macaque sees this. Because maybe it's the same thing Wukong would do.

And its clear through Macaque's little Shadow Play that Macaque had some insecurities in their friendship based around playing second fiddle to Wukong. He keeps mentioning how Wukong eventually forgot about him or cast him into his shadow. And yet.. Wukong throws this exact thing in his face on multiple occassions. "Aren't you ever going to get tired of living in my Shadow?" Not to mention the hints we get during S3 that further drive home the fact that he fully believes that Sun Wukong is the type of person to cast someone aside unless they were useful to him. And while that might not have been Sun Wukong's intention with whatever actions he took to get Macaque to ride that train of thought, it is still evident that perhaps he has in the past been careless with his friendships.. as he is with MK's group which led them to where they ended up during the S3 finale.

And the last thing I want to point out is the interaction between MK and Macaque as Mei is being consumed by the Samadhi fire. Macaque tells MK that they need to go and MK retaliates stating that he would never leave Mei when she needs him because she's his best friend. Or something along those lines. And Macaque looks on at him like he can't believe what he's hearing. It's almost like "This isn't something I'm used to because this isn't something I was given as a friend". And it's shocking to see this! Which!! further solidifies in his mind what he said to MK during S2 "You know.. you are just that BIT too much like him [Sun Wukong].. buuut its good to see there's SOME potential" because in his relationships, MK will always look to his friends first and foremost. Monkie kid 101 is doing things together and sticking together.

THIS KINDA DERAILED FROM MY MAIN POINT I THINK A LITTLE BIT BUT. BASICALLY. I hope Macaque's resentment does come from like. Actual conflicts with Sun Wukong and not just a misunderstanding. I think it would add to an arc with SWK where he realizes "You keep doing things the same way you always have and it doesn't work out for you. Something needs to change because you've hurt people in the past and you'll continue to hurt people in the present unless you start approaching things differently". You know? It'd be more impactful if we've got more instances from the past where he's clearly messed up but never knew how to grow from it.

#demic rambles #OK TRYING THIS AGAIN #bc for some reason my text vanished which was odd #anyway again this isnt me justifying macaque's actions he's fucked up and needs help #especially considering he involved people outside of SWK in his feud with him

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nagito-kissmaeda · 4 years ago

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Alone at the Edge of a Universe - Komaeda x Reader

Summary: You were in an accident before everything went to hell. You don't remeber how it all started. Now you live in a small apartment with a strange man who seems to be trying his best to look after you, but doesnt know how to take care of himself.

AKA: oh my god they were roommates.....Despair Edition TM

Word count: 7169 Contains: fem reader, no pronouns usage, explict sexual content, unsafe sex, very mild blood/injury, panic attacks, despair era Read on AO3 ミ☆ Please send me a DM or an ask if you’d like me to write something for you!

There’s an explosion outside your window, and something huge tumbles to the ground. Everything in the apartment is shaking, Knick-knacks wobble and fall off the mantle, smashing on the floor, the bed frame shakes and lurches underneath you. Your fingers are digging tight into the quilt, trying to find purchase somewhere in the quake.

It is not your first collapsing building, and you fear it will not be your last. The world outside the apartment is dangerous and frightening, layers upon layers of horror folded together into the culmination of true despair. You don’t remember how it happened. It was some time ago (weeks? Months? Years?) that you woke up in a hospital, weak and emancipated, barely able to walk. You had been in some sort of accident, whatever happened to the world, started while you were still comatose and all the doctors were long gone when you finally came to. The fact that your life support was even still running was a stroke of luck.

There’s another thundering outside, but this one doesn’t make the house shake. Another building? You can't be sure, it was too far away to be of any danger to you so there is no reason to think about it. Instead you pull yourself up from the bed, bringing one foot down on the floor and being absolutely sure that there won't be any aftershocks before standing up properly. There are little broken pieces of glass and china all over the wooden floorboards, you cross the room on your tip-toes, careful to avoid any of the more dangerous looking shards. It is as you feared, your favorite knick-knack had also broken. You drop into a crouch, trying your best to gather the shattered pieces of what had once been a small glass jar full of little keepsakes.

Your housemate (if you could call him that) frequently brings back little presents from his adventures out into the fractured city. But this had been your favorite, a blue jar with a cork stopper, full of buttons, beads, marbles. Any pretty trinkets he could find for you. The shattering of this particular gift hurts something terrible, because you know it took him a very long time to collect it all. You manage to find a sturdier jar that survived the quake (it was once holding three stems of lavender, long since dead) and scoop as many of the shards and trinkets that you can inside. It isn't as pretty, but it will do for now.

He’s been gone for a week now, and you are hoping he will be back today.

When he first brought you to the apartment, you couldn't even stand. Confused and scared about what had happened to the world during your coma, and having trouble remembering what your life was like before either. The apartment was a mess when he first found it, but there was a bed and clean sheets in a closet, so it was fine. He sat with you for hours, barely moving, just watching as you slipped in and out of consciousness, as the world finally came into focus. At first you were afraid of him, of his dishevelled appearance, trembling limbs and wide watery eyes. He never made any move to touch you, he sat there and would answer questions if you asked them, but otherwise just watched.

Once you were able to move on your own, he started heading outside for longer stretches of time. He used to just leave for a few hours each week to bring you back enough food until his next trip, but now he is often gone for days at a time. You wonder how long it will be before you can go outside with him. He is strange, but given the state of the world outside, you can’t imagine anyone else is faring much better.

You manage to salvage a decent amount of the broken trinkets and either pour them into a vacant jar or the trash and are in the middle of sweeping away any remaining shards when you hear a shaky knock on the door. He has a key, but he always knocks anyway. You let the broom drop to the ground and dash over to the door to let him in.

“Hey…” you say, pulling the door open. His red striped sweater has more holes in it than it did last you saw him, his hair curled and messy, more grey than white. His disheveled appearance means little, you are thrilled to see him, “Welcome home.”

His eyes are desperate as he looks you over, crossing the threshold of the apartment and closing the door behind him, “The quake...are you okay?”

“I stayed in bed the whole time, I’m fine.” You attempt to take his rucksack from him, to help him carry it to the kitchen. He pulls it away from you and carries it on his own, “A bunch of the gifts you brought me fell off the mantle, though. I should have been keeping them somewhere safer, I’m sorry.”

He wheezes, giggling under his breath as he starts pulling food out from the rucksack and onto the bench, “Don’t waste such sweet apologies on me. I can find more gifts if you want them.”

With you standing in the sitting room, and him unloading groceries in the kitchen. In a different time, this may have been domestic. Your heart warms at the thought, “No, it’s okay. I don’t want to cause you any more trouble.”

“Trouble?” He doubles over with laughter, the sound is scratchy in his throat, “You could never cause me any trouble.”

He doesn’t look like he belongs in the nice clean apartment. He stands in the middle of the room, all shaking limbs and wheezy breaths, clutching his own arms like it’s the only thing still keeping him together, but you can tell he is trying, he doesn’t want you to feel uncomfortable around him.

“Are you okay?” You ask, “you were outside when it happened”

He giggles breathlessly, gnawing on the cuff of his sleeve, “you are worried about me?” His knees shake like they're about to give out and he buzzes with manic energy, “Aha! the extent of your hope, it’s incomparable!”

You suddenly notice a line of blood running down from his forehead, curling down past his eyebrow and over his cheekbone. You rush over to him and take his face in your hands. His skin is pallid and sickly, his lips chapped and bleeding. You push his mess of dirty hair away from his forehead and gasp, “you’re really hurt, why didn't you tell me?”

He doesn’t say anything, he’s just staring at you with wet unblinking eyes as a wide smile tugs at his lips. Shuddering under the soft grip of your hands. The gash on his forehead is shallow, but blood is gushing out of it quite quickly and you aren’t really sure what to do. As you look closer at the wound, his eyes flutter shut and you feel him leaning into your palm. Your heart thunders in your chest, he’s cute under all the dirt and grime.

He cares for you a great deal, you aren't sure why. He won't even tell you his name.

“I’ll wash it out for you. Okay?” You say, taking one of his hands in yours and tugging him towards the bathroom. The one gentle tug on his hand is enough that he almost topples over, but he rights himself quickly. His hand is quivering in yours.

“Oh! You don't need to do that!” he protests, but continues obediently following after you, “I’ve dealt with much worse, aha! Don't bother dirtying your hands to fix something that will only break again.”

You grab him by the shoulders and lower him down onto the toilet seat. His big eyes peer up at you from behind the mass of hair now tumbling down over his face, he watches you with a pointed devotion that might make you uncomfortable if you weren't already used to it. He brings his sleeve up to his mouth to chew on it again, you take his hand in yours and lower it before he gets the chance, “I’ll be gentle. Don’t worry.”

His nails dig into the meat of his thighs and he is shivering again. You can feel his legs bouncing as you lean forward to take a better look at the gash on his forehead, he whines when he feels your fingers brush his hair away from his face. You sigh at him, “You know this will get infected if you don't clean it, don't you?”

He whimpers, practically rattling as his tremors get worse, “How kind of you to notice! But I have more important matters to attend to of course.” another bout of laughter boils through him, shaking his bony shoulders,“like you, for instance!”

You drop to a crouch so you can meet his eyes, resting one hand on his shoulder and holding his hair back with the other, “You can't look after me if you’re dead.”

“Oh I won't die.” He breathes, the depths of his eyes shining with a shocking lucidity, “Not yet.”

He really believes that. You can see it on his face, “Either way. I’m going to clean it. Sit tight.”

Sitting tight is not possible. To his credit, he doesn't move on purpose, but he is still shaking intensely as he waits for you. His protruding knees knocking as his legs bounce up and down. You purse your lips and wet a cloth in the sink, the water is a little brown, but all of the water is a little brown so there isn't much you can do about it.

“Okay.” You say, turning back to him and lifting the cloth to his forehead, “Let me know if it stings too much, alright?”

He nods, smiling up at you pleasantly as you bring the cloth down on the gash. There is a lot of blood, the coppery smell is overwhelming but you try your best to seem like it isn't affecting you. If there is any pain, it doesn't seem to be bothering him, his eyes are closed again and he is leaning gently into your touch. Your heart warms for him, and the hand you are using to hold his hair out of his face starts gently scratching his scalp. You hear him gasp, but he makes no move to stop you. His hair is soft, you can feel the grit of dirt and smoke caught up in it, but under that...he is so soft. The blood running down his face is well clean by now, but you don't stop. The washcloth falls from your hand with a splat and his eyes snap open. One of your hands is buried in his hair, combing the mess through your gentle fingers, the other traces the sharp line of his jaw, all the way up to and then down his cheekbone.

“What are you doing?” He asks, you are dimly aware that his shaking has stopped. At least for now.

Your pointer finger runs up the bridge of his nose and over his right eyebrow, now you are the one shaking, “I...don’t know.”

“You’re touching me.” He breathes

Your voice is barely a whisper when you reply, “I am.” you let your hand drop, “I’m sorry. I don't know why i did that.”

He reaches out and takes your hand in his, pressing it firmly to his cheek. His eyes are wild, “You can do whatever you want to me! I don't mind!”

His suggestion raises an unwarranted heat to your cheeks. You gently tug your hand from his grasp, “There’s some vodka in the cupboard. Give me a moment to disinfect you.”

You pick the cloth up off the ground and leave it on the side of the sink as you walk over to the kitchen. All of the food he brought back with him is still strewn about on the countertop, abandoned when you realised how badly hurt he was. You worry about him. Constantly. He was the one who found you half crawling, half stumbling through the desolate remains of the city mere hours after you woke up in the crumbling shell of the hospital. Since then he has been so careful of you, making sure you are well fed, bringing you gifts or clothes, anything he can find out there. He clearly doesn't extend the same olive branch to himself. You stand up on your toes to grab the alcohol from the top shelf, it was already here when he first found the apartment. Half empty. You hope whoever lived here before you had enjoyed it.

“This is going to hurt.” You warn as you step back into the bathroom. He nods loosely and you wring the cloth out as best you can before dousing it in the vodka, “Are you ready?”

“Pain or pleasure,” he starts, looking up at you with a loopy smile, “anything I feel by your hand is exhilarating.”

Oh. You liked that . It made something in the pit of your stomach twist.

You clear your throat and crouch down in front of him, pushing his hair out of the way. His eyes are half lidded, and you can tell he is uncomfortably lucid. He intimidates you a little like this, there is a sharp intellect behind his big green eyes that feels like he is dissecting you with his stare alone. Even though he has stilled quite a bit, his hands are still jittering at his sides. You gently press the alcohol soaked rag to the gash in his forehead, he hisses through his smiling teeth, but the sound teeters dangerously close to being a moan. You swallow, continuing your ministrations.

“Did you get hurt anywhere else?” You ask, purposely focussing on cleaning his wound so you don't have to meet his eyes.

“No.” He says. It doesn't sound like he’s lying.

“Okay.” You reply, “I trust you, but you can't hide these things from me. I have a duty to keep you safe, too.”

A shudder runs through him at your words and his eyes flutter shut. Like he is savoring it, “You are too generous, truly.” his voice is so breathy, and your positioning makes it sound like he is whispering in your ear. You bite your lip.

“It is not generosity.” You laugh a little, your fingers tangling in his hair again, “It’s selfishness. You are all I have and I don't want to lose you.”

He is shaking again, his long fingers grasping at nothing. Like he desperately wants to hold you but knows he can't . His arms wrap around himself instead, fingers digging into the fabric of his jacket as he rocks back and forth, “Aha! A regular Pylades you are, looking after trash like me!”

You have long since abandoned any pretense. Not even pretending to be tending to his wound anymore, your fingers brush through his hair unhindered, “Pylades?” you ask, twisting a lock of pale hair around your index finger. Surprised with how much classic literature he’s managed to remember through all this tragedy, this is not the first time he has quoted one such piece to you.

“From Euripides!” he’s grinning now, lips curled almost painfully wide, “You need me to jog your memory, hm?” He asks, leaning forward. He is very close to you now, and your hand freezes in his hair, “Orestes says ‘it’s rotten work’ and Pylades replies-”

Oh. You do know this one.

“Not to me.” You breathe, heart thumping in your chest and mouth going dry. Your hand slides down from his hair to cup his cheek, you can feel his pulsepoint racing like a hummingbird under your thumb. He is so close now, you can see flecks of gold in his eyes. You can count his eyelashes. You are shaking, “Not if it’s you.”

For a moment, you think you are going to kiss him. For a moment, you want to kiss him. Instead you let your hand drop from his cheek and stand back up, “It’s um...it’s as clean as im going to get it. Might need stitches, but i dont have the means or the skill to do that for you.”

He brings his arms up in a shrug, “No matter. So long as you’re satisfied.”

“This isn't about my satisfaction.” You say, crossing your arms, ��You need to take better care of yourself out there. Look, maybe next time i should come with you and-”

He shoots upright, suddenly towering above you, all quivering limbs and sweaty palms, “Nonononono. You have to-” he sucks in a wheezy breath and shakes his head, “-you have to stay in here. For you to be tainted by the world outside, the despair it would-” a breathy laugh escapes his lips, growing and growing in volume, his hands tanging his hair pulling strands out at the roots, “-It would be glorious .” He growls, shaking and panting as he starts hitting himself in the head with his fist and a crescendo of, “nononononononono” is erupting from the cavern of his mouth.

It is frightening, but you are used to it. He gets in these fits sometimes, but has never attempted to hurt you, it’s more like he’s fighting himself. You wrap both your hands around his wrist, holding his arm still so he can’t use it to hit himself anymore before slowly bringing it back down to his side. He is still shaking with a mania that seeps out through every pore, but at least he isn't hurting himself. His mouth runs a mile a minute, arguing with both himself and people you have never met. He talks to them a lot, these other people, you don't want to ask him about them.

“Hey.” you whisper, “I’m here. It’s okay.”

His big eyes turn to you, but he doesn't calm. He is still muttering and shaking, but this is okay. You start slowly rubbing your hands up and down the length of his forearms, “You’re doing fine, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere.”

He whines and brings one of his sleeves up to his mouth to gnaw on it. You don't stop him, when he gets like this it’s one of his less destructive habits. It's preferable to scratching. You keep rubbing his free arm, your other hand curled around his hip. His eyes are slowly growing less wild, drool is dripping down his chin, “Alright. We’re going to move to the couch. Nice and slow.”

You loop his arm over your shoulders and tuck your other hand into his back pocket, slowly walking him over to the couch. This is the main reason you haven't left the apartment, the door unlocks from the inside so if you really wanted to, you could leave at any time. You’re scared though, both of what is waiting out in the city, and of what will happen to him if he comes back one day to find you gone. He is finally starting to calm when you lower him down onto the couch, still chewing absently on his sleeve, but his breathing has slowed a little. A soft smile tugs at your lips, and you tuck some of his hair behind his ear.

“Why do you worry about me so much?” You ask, more to yourself than to him. Stroking his cheekbone with the pad of your thumb, “I am no one to you.”

He is tired now after his episode, his arm is slow and shaky as he reaches out to you, resting his hand in the dip of your waist. The warmth of his skin seeps in through your shirt, your heart climbs up into your throat when he squeezes , “You are hope. You are everything to me.” his eyes are half lidded, and his smile is soft, “The corruption, the despair it...haahaa...it tainted us all, but you-” he takes a deep, shuddering breath, “-you slept right through it. You’re still hopeful...still perfect…”

“And if I hadn't. What would I be to you then?”

“Dead, most likely.” He sighs and it rattles through his chest, “Is there even a point to talking about what might have been? In my experience it has never helped any.”

He’s right. You hate the idea of a reality where you never meet him. This realisation makes your stomach turn. Familiarity breeds comfort, but when what is familiar is a man who is (under dirt and grime and sweat) incredibly beautiful, you find that it breeds something else as well. You give the hand on your waist a pat, and he lets you go.

“The sun is setting.” You say, trying to distract yourself from how much you want his hand against you again, “I’m going to light some candles before it gets dark.”

“Oh! Before you do.” He manages to pull himself up from the couch and stumbles over to his rucksack, bending over and rummaging through it some, “I hm...i found something for you.”

You stand in the middle of the room, the last dregs of daylight are casting an orange light over his shaking form. He comes back over to you, holding out his offering, for a moment you're not even sure what it is.

“Oh my god…” You whisper, turning it over in your hands. It’s a polaroid camera, a little banged up but it looks like it will still work, “thank you.” you smile up at him, heart melting to nothing in your chest, “thank you so much.”

He laughs a little, shaking as he passes another two objects over to you, “I only found two film cartridges, but i can look for more!”

“No! This is perfect, I'm amazed you even managed to find two.”

“My luck may not be worth much.” He says with a sad smile, “but if i’m able to bring you some happiness with it, then i'm glad!”

“Here, just...give me a second.” Your hands are shaking as you fumble with the first cartridge, popping open the back of the camera and clicking it in. Before he has a chance to protest (because you know he will) you lift the camera up to your eye and snap a photo. For a moment he is dazzled by the flash, but then immediately starts wheezing.

“Wha....What?” His knees are wobbling again, his eyes are wide and unblinking.

The photo slides out of the camera and you grab it between your index finger and thumb, giving it a light shake, “I took a photo of you.”

“Why would you do that?” He’s laughing, but it sounds more confused than it does manic, “You only have two cartridges of film and you would waste a photo on garbage like me?”

“I don't think it was a waste.” The photo has just about finished developing, the light from the flash doesnt do his already pale skin any favors, but you smile all the same, “Sometimes you’re gone for a long time, and if i can't come with you then...i dunno, it’ll be nice to have.”

“You...miss me?”

You see no reason to lie, “I miss you.”

He is just staring at you now, eyes slowly examining every inch of your face. Your heart is racing. He takes a slow, shaky step towards you, practically vibrating with nervous energy.

“I shouldn't.” He says, even as his trembling hand rests on your hip, the pads of his fingers slipping up under your shirt to stroke your skin, “I’m disgusting for even thinking about all that I want to do with you.” His grip on your hip grows tighter, and you feel a warmth in your stomach, “If you knew...eheh...if you could see what i was thinking right now.” his breathing has quickened, and the hand on your hip is trembling. So are your legs, “you’d kick me out of this apartment like the...the...haahhaa...the perverted trash that i am.”

Any thoughts within you about resisting or denying him have long dissipated. You do not even hesitate as you loop an arm behind his head, digging your fingers into the back of his hair, “I wouldn't.”

He doesn't say anything, he’s just looking at you and trembling. A whiny moan escaping his lips.

“The things you want to do to me…” You start, fingers slipping under his striped sweater, just enough to feel his skin, “Show me.”

His hand joins its brother on your hips, and he tugs you towards him. Your lips colliding in a desperate kiss, all tangled tongues and nipping teeth. You moan into his open mouth, your fingers tangling even tighter in the mess of hair on the back of his head, he groans when you tug a little harder, slipping one of his hands up the front of your shirt and palming you over your bra. You cling to each other like two lost sailors adrift in the sea, attempting to find purchase in a world long gone. Your kisses open mouthed, wet and sloppy, desperate and needy. He is moaning and shaking, his long fingers tightly squeezing your breast as his other arm wraps around your waist and somehow tugs you even closer. He is so thin, pressed up against him like this you can feel his bones shifting under his skin. You bite his neck so hard you taste copper on your tongue and a moan explodes from his lips.

“Yes... yes! ” He stammers, drooling and shaking. His mouth pulled in such a wide smile that his lips tear and bleed, “hurt me...hng-hahAHA... destroy me !”

Your hands become frantic, grabbing his jacket and tugging it down his arms. His sweatshirt soon follows, ripped up over his head with a tenacity you didn't even know you had. You want to feel his skin, to suck, to bite, to bury your nails in it. Desperation is building inside you, almost ready to overflow. His skin is salty with sweat when you run your tongue over the length of his collarbone, fingers on your left hand running over each jutting rib as you slip your hand down to grasp his hip. The bone is sharp under the soft skin of your palm. Despite all his sweating and panting, his flesh is still cold under your hand, you want to warm him up. You tug your own shirt up over your head, chucking it behind you and unclasping your bra.

A wheezing laugh escapes him, he pushes his hair away from his face but it immediately falls back down again, “You...you’re…” his breath hitches, his pointer finger traces the underside of breast, shaky and cold, “you’re so soft...so warm .” he moans, licking his lips, “my goddess...would you permit me to pleasure you with my mouth?” he purrs. His eyes are swirling with arousal, his hand creeping up to massage your breast in his palm. It feels so good, he feels so good. He looks at you with this endless devotion, like you are something precious to be protected and loved .

“My guardian angel.” you whisper, tucking a wisp of hair behind his ear, “Whatever you want to do to me. Do it.”

His ghostly green eyes are blown wide, and he is wheezing again, “You just...what did you just call me?”

“I would have died out there on my own. You know that right?” You say, leaning in close enough that the tips of your breasts brush against his bare chest and cupping his cheek in your palm, “You saved my life. You are my guardian angel.”

“You are too kind to me, truly.” He whispers, his cold hands moving to your shoulders as he guides you backwards, “I am little more than garbage after all.” the back of your knees hit the couch and you collapse onto it, “Just a bug under the heel of an ultimate’s shoe...but you...hm…” he drops to his knees in front of you, his grin is all sharp teeth and drool. Some people might have been afraid of him, you thought he was the hottest fucking thing you’ve ever seen, “you deserve to be worshipped .” he breathes against your skin, leaning in and wrapping his lips around one of your nipples. His mouth is warm and wet, you throw your head back in a wail, digging your fingers into the mess of hair on his head.

His hand slides up the side of your ribcage, thumb rubbing small practiced circles around your other nipple. A needy moan escapes your lips, and your legs drop open almost instinctively. He scrambles forward to nestle himself between them, the sharp angles of his torso dig into the soft flesh of your thighs and his free arm wraps around your waist to tug to two of you even closer together. A strangled cry rips through you as the bare skin of his chest presses firmly against your sex, hips bucking against him almost involentarily, overcome with a desire to just feel him . He laughs against your breast, sinking his teeth into your flesh as his tongue continues lathing across your pert nipple.

“Mm...you’re so soft…” He whispers, resting his cheek on the plump skin of your breast, “your skin is so smooth…” His other hand is still toying with your nipple, rolling it in between the calloused pads of his thumb and forefinger, “haaAAH...I’m so lucky. You permitting scum like me to pleasure you? Your kindness is...hm, how could I put it?” his tongue darts out to give your nipple a lick, you shiver, “It is inexorable ”

“Wrong again.”, You laugh breathily, carting your fingers through his unruly hair, “This is no kindness. This is desire, unflinching. I want you so badly, selfishly .”

A raspy giggle escapes him, shaking his shoulders as he pulls his arms from you to wrap them around himself instead, “Someone like you getting so riled up over someone like me...eheh…” His hands are shaking when he brings them back down to your waist, gripping the elastic waistband of your sweatpants, “The ideas I have - the things I want to do with my fingers,” he starts pulling your pants down. You lift yourself up a little to help him pull them over your hips, warmth blooming in your cheeks, he moans at the mere sight of your panties, “f-fuck…” he whines, all drool and sweat, “i want to finger you until i die . Oh... oh god… ” he’s kneeling lower down now, you can feel him shaking between your thighs, “you smell so good...i want to eat you until there's nothing left. Like you’re my last meal…” his hands come up and grip your thighs tight, he leans in closer to your center and you can barely hold in a moan when you feel his nose bump against the wet spot on your panties. You don't hold in the moan when you feel his tongue. You aren't sure you could if you tried, it tears out of you, the one swipe of his tongue over your soaked panties is like a bolt of lightning to your cunt.

He continues like this for a while, moaning and shaking as he drags his tongue up and down your panties. Occassionally suckling your clit through the fabric. His bony fingers dig so tight in the soft flesh of your thighs that you swear you’ll have bruises tomorrow morning. After one particularly brutal suck, all you can do is sob, pulling his hair so tight that his lips are torn away from your centre.

“Something wrong?” He asks, playing innocent, but the look in his eye is cool and intelligent.

You heave a shaky breath, staring down at him, “Take them off. Please! ”

You swear you see his hips twitch at your demand. Eyes glazing over and tongue lolling out of his mouth as he hooks his fingers through the legs of your panties and tugs them down, leaving them to dangle off your left ankle. A whimper escapes you at the feeling of his breath against your wetness, his hands are hovering above you, shaking in the air like he isn't sure what to do with them. He wants to touch everything, he just can't decide where to start.

In the end, his left hand comes to rest at your hip, while his right middle and ring fingers push their way inside you. Your head lolls backward and your mouth drops open with a long moan at the feeling. His fingers are longer than yours are. A lot longer.

“I can feel you... twitching around me.” he makes a strangled noise, half a laugh, half a moan and pistons his fingers slowly in and out of you. The sound it makes is obscene , but it seems to only encourage him further. He leans in, and wraps his lips around your clit, sucking gently and occasionally flicking it with his tongue. Your hips buck reflexively, trying to get closer to his mouth.

“Ahh - ah! You taste so sweet...” he whispers against you, his breath cold on your burning flesh, “I - mmph...i feel like adam biting the apple...or persephone swallowing the pomegranate seeds...haah…” he removes his fingers, and his tongue slips inside you, swirling around before he returns his attention to your clit, “But which do you think it will be, hm? Will i be forced to leave you, or will i be bound to you for all eternity?” his eyes meet yours, boiling with passion and desire. He looks godlike between your thighs, grinning up at you with sharp teeth and the sheen of your own slick all over his chin. All you can do is shake and moan, quivering for want of him, “Care to try your luck answering the million dollar question, my goddess?”

“Never leave me…” you say, chest heaving. You reach down and cup his face in your hand, “I will never ask you to leave me.”

“Never?” he asks, his smile growing manic and his nails digging into your thighs. You hiss at the pain, “A dangerous promise.” His tongue enters you again and he moans sinfully against your skin, slowly thrusting the wet muscle in and out of you. His hands slip down under you and he lifts you up by you ass, pulling your sex even closer to his face. You whimper and moan and grind against him. Fingers tangled in the mess of his hair as he tongue fucks you into oblivion.

He’s whining and groaning, devouring you like a man starved, and when you feel the couch lurch, you realise he is also desperately grinding his cock into the front of it. You tug on his hair again, weaker than last time as the wobbly feeling of pleasure has overtaken you. He slowly draws back from your sex, licking his lips and staring up at you with his intimidating eyes, “Mm?”

A shaky breath rattles through your lungs and you lean forward to kiss him, tasting yourself on his lips, “I want you inside of me. Would that be okay?”

“I was already inside you.” He says, smirking and sticking out his tongue as a reminder.

“You know what i mean.” Your eyes flit down to the tent in his jeans, making what you really want even more obvious than it already is.

“You spoil me.” He breathes, pressing a wet kiss to your jawline, “You couldn’t possibly know how desperately I want to sink myself inside you...but I- haaahh ...I am not worthy of such an intimate act.” His fingers reach out, and slowly begin circling your clit, you choke on a moan, “I am more than happy to pleasure you like this...no need to worry about my satisfaction.”

“But I want to see you come undone.” You hiss as his index finger circles you entrance, “I want you on top of me, inside of me. I-“ his finger pushes inside and your breath catches, “-I want you to fuck me. Please .”

A giggle bursts from his lips that quickly grows into a cackle. His shoulders shaking with its intensity, a line of drool dripping down his chin, he throws his arms wide and shoots you a manic grin. All teeth and gums, “If that is what you truly desire, then it would be pointless to deny you any further!” He clambors up from the floor, stumbling a little as he struggles to remove his jeans, “After all, I want you as well.” He purrs, his jeans and boxers dropping to the floor, “More than that…” he breathes, lowering you by your shoulders until you are lying back on the couch and nestling himself in between your open legs. Your heart is racing, he is hovering over you now. His lips barely a breath from yours, and the head of his cock brushing against your sex. He groans, “My goddess, I hunger for you.”

He hisses a breath in through his teeth as he starts pushing himself into you. Hips shaking as he resists the urge to shove himself in with one long stroke, his eyes roll back into his head and he moans. The feeling of him slowly entering you, combined with watching the strangled ecstasy on his face, it’s the most aroused you’ve ever been. You can feel yourself clenching around him, your own hips quivering as he finally bottoms out inside of you with a raspy groan, “So wet…” he hisses, “You feel so good around me…” he slips one of his hands down between the both of you, rubbing gentle circles around you clit. You keen loudly at the feeling and his hips stutter into yours, “Y-you like that, huh? I felt you tighten around me…”

You nod loosely, struggling to speak through your moans, “Please...move…”

He visibly shudders at your request, slowly inching his hips backward, and then forward again at full force. A moan that shifts to laugh halfway through escapes his lips, and he finally sets his rhythm. His hips snap against yours with a desperate fervor, he whines and mewls above you, his hair bouncing delicately with the movement. Eyes half lidded and drool slowly dripping down his chin. You look up at him in absolute awe, he looks and sounds like an angel . Covered in grime, twisted and tangled, but an angel all the same. His fingers return to your clit and you moan again, digging your nails into the skin of his back, tracing the protruding vertebrae with your fingertips.

A particularly deep thrust causes a choked sob to break forth from his lips, his head lolls forward and he nuzzles into the join between your shoulder and neck, “You’re perfect .” he breathes, hips still pumping, “I’m throbbing...can you feel it? Can you feel what you are doing to me?”

You can . You can feel the warmth of his cock pulsing inside of you. His arms are trembling and his breath is a rapid staccato, he’s trying to maintain his composure, “You feel so good, sweetheart.” you whisper, running your fingers through his hair. He breath hitches when you call him sweetheart .

“You are so kind to me…” He wheezes, his breath warm against the column of your throat. You shiver, a strangled moan escaping you as his dexterous fingers circle your clit even faster. Your thighs tighten around his narrow waist, hips grinding against the meat of his palm and deeper onto his cock. All you can do is shake and moan, the muscles in your stomach tight and only growing tighter. He looks at your face, visibly euphoric, “are you close?”

You nod and he drags his tongue up the shell of your ear, “Jeez...I can’t believe trash like me is going to make you cum.” His eyes are wide when they meet yours, lips pulled tight in a grin, “You’re going to cum for me!” His hips move against yours at a frantic pace, his hands groping any part of you he can reach, a laugh in his chest building to a crescendo as he hits deeper and deeper inside of you, “You’re going to cum around me and I’m going to feel it...I-haaaaHAAAAA-“ he can’t speak any more, he’s laughing and moaning and fucking into you with an unbridled desperation.

“You need to...cum...Ah~ I want you to cum too…” you swallow, words catching in your throat when his fingers start working your clit again, “Cum inside me, angel. Please .”

“In-Inside?” He stutters, breath heaving and teeth clenched as he grows closer and closer to climax, “You would permit me to soil your insides with my filthy seed?”

“I don’t just permit you. I’m begging you! ” Your hips are canting up to meet his, wanting to feel him as deep inside you as possible. Drawing yourself tantalisingly close to orgasm, “I want to see you, to feel you. Come undone for me, please.”

His breath hitches, and his eyes grow dark. His fingers begin circling your clit at a brutal pace, his mouth collides with yours in a desperate kiss, all tongue and clicking teeth. You moan loudly into his open mouth, legs twitching underneath his frantic ministrations. His fingers on your clit, his cock pumping in and out of you, his tongue tangled with yours. The heat in the pit of your stomach is boiling, your breath is coming in gasps. It feels so good.

“You’re mine.” He whispers against your lips, and you swear you hear a sob catching in his throat, “accept me, please. Cum for me, my love.”

With those words, he kisses you firmly, thrusting deep and slow inside of you, and the coil in your stomach finally snaps as you cum with a strangled moan. Dragging your nails down his spine and curling your toes, warmth settles through your entire body and it feels like a perfect finality. He whines against your lips, grinding and writhing as you walls clench around him, then his eyes flutter closed and his mouth drops open in the most beautiful moan you’ve ever heard, and he cums .

His face softens in that moment, and for just a second, he looks normal. Like someone you might pass on the street or sit next to in class. You see him , and your heart turns to butter. You love him. Slowly, the speed of his thrusts peter out and he heaves a breath, eyes half lidded, giving you satisfied (albeit sleepy) smile. You return it, brushing your fingers down his cheekbone.

“Thank you.” He whispers, eyes moist with what will soon be tears.

You curl your hand around the back of his head and tug his forehead down to your lips. His skin tastes like sweat, “No. Thank you .”

He leaves the next morning. Unlike all the other times before, he never comes back.

#komaeda x reader #nagito x reader #komaeda nagito #super danganronpa goodbye despair #danganronpa x reader #i just keep busting these out huh?

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