#they were so underdeveloped and simple then

[bestanimal]

Round 2 - Chordata - Petromyzontida

(Sources - 1, 2, 3, 4)

Petromyzontida is a class comprising one order, Petromyzontiformes, commonly called “lampreys.”

Like their closest living relatives, the hagfish, lampreys bear a cartilaginous skull and rudimentary vertebrae. Adults lack a jaw, and are characterized by a toothed, funnel-like, sucking mouth. They have elongated, eel-like bodies reaching up to 1.3 metres (3.9 ft) long. They have one nostril atop the head, seven gill pores on each side of the head, two well-developed eyes, and two parietal eyes. Only 18 species are predators or scavengers, the rest (all freshwater species) do not feed as adults, instead living off the reserves gained as juveniles. Carnivorous species are marine, though 9 of them migrate into freshwater to breed. They use the suction cup around their mouths to cling to rocks or prey, using their tongue to either rasp blood from prey or algae from rocks. They also use this suction cup to climb up rocks when migrating upstream to breed.

Adult lampreys spawn in nests of sand, gravel and pebbles in clear streams. After hatching from their eggs the larvae, called ammocoetes, will drift downstream with the current until they reach soft and fine sediment in which to burrow, taking up an existence as filter feeders, collecting detritus, algae, and microorganisms (image 4). Their eyes are underdeveloped, only capable of discriminating changes in light. Lampreys spend the majority of their lives as these filter-feeding ammocoetes. Most species spend up to 8 years, though some may spend as little as 1-2 years. The ammocoetes will then undergo a metamorphosis which generally lasts 3-4 months, during which they do not eat.

The oldest fossil lamprey, Priscomyzon, is known from the Late Devonian. Other stem-group lampreys, like Pipiscius, Mayomyzon and Hardistiella are known from the Carboniferous. While they appear relatively unchanged, stem-lampreys lack the specialised, heavily toothed discs with plate-like laminae present in modern lampreys, and their larvae resembled the adults, rather than having a distinct stage. The earliest lamprey with the specialised toothed oral disc typical of modern lampreys is Yanliaomyzon from the Middle Jurassic.

Propaganda under the cut:

Many species change color as ammocoetes, becoming dark during the day and pale at night.

Lampreys have been extensively studied because their relatively simple brain is thought to reflect the brain structure of early vertebrate ancestors, thus providing insight into our origins.

Lampreys are valued as food in the Northwest United States, throughout Europe, in Russia, Japan, and in South Korea. King Henry I of England is claimed to have been so fond of lampreys that he often ate them, late into life and poor health, against the advice of his physician concerning their richness, and is said to have died from eating "a surfeit of lampreys".

In the county of Nakkila (Finland) and Carnikava Municipality (Latvia), the European River Lamprey (Lampetra fluviatilis) is the local symbol, found on their coats of arms.

The legend of the Lambton Worm from County Durham in North-East England concerns a lamprey being fished out of the River Wear by a young boy skipping church. He declares that he had “caught the devil” and disposes of it down a nearby well. Over the years, the lamprey grows into a giant, poisonous Worm, wrapping itself around a local hill and terrorizing the village. Hijinks and witch-curses ensue.

Lampreys were highly appreciated by the Ancient Romans, not only as food, but also as pets. Lucius Licinius Crassus was mocked by Gnaeus Domitius Ahenobarbus for weeping over the death of his pet lamprey, who he was said to have adorned with earrings and small necklaces, training it to respond to its name and swimming up to eat what was offered. Crassus retorted that Domitius had lost three wives himself and Crassus had never seen him shed a tear.

Publius Vedius Pollio was reportedly an exceedingly cruel Roman soldier who kept a pool of carnivorous lampreys to which he would feed slaves who had displeased him. This went on until Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus was visiting his mansion and witnessed Pollio about to dispatch a slave who had broken a crystal cup. Augustus had all of Pollio’s cups destroyed, as well as his mansion, and filled in his pond. This is likely an urban legend, but honestly, I feel like it should have ended with Pollio going down with the lampreys.

Dams and other human development have made it hard for lampreys to migrate upstream to breed. Some scientists are hoping to design ramps that will utilize lamprey’s climbing ability so that they can bypass dams.

[whostolethelifeboats]

God, my first attempt at an animatic for my little guys will always make me go insane even when its my own shit.

[wlwmedarda]

I'm honestly just looking to rant and this might be long depending on how fast I get irritated the more I type so if this isn't coherent or well written I apologize in advance. Since it looks like Ambessa will take on a more antagonistic role in arcane season two, I would like to unpack the fandom's antiblackness that you guys are either blind to or aware and too pussy to call it out as my gut is telling me it's gonna increase and if no one is gonna start the difficult conversation then I sure as hell will.

Sevika:

Mel:

Starting off strong with the definition of "you guys want complex female characters but can't even handle her". Mel Medarda is in quite the predicament seeing how she's morally grey, a black woman, AND "gets in the way" of a mlm ship so she was kinda screwed from the start. A cunning politician disowned for her pacifism who acts as a sort of bridge to Noxus' slow introduction, and is THE ONLY CHARACTER IN THE SEASON 1 MAIN CAST SPECIFICALLY CREATED FOR THE SHOW. She's treated like satan incarnate or a Jezebel (highly suggest looking into that if you don't know what that is), GOOD character analysis is rare, and when she is talked about positively, it's so often chalked up to appearances that I'd rather yall not talk about her at all. Oh you love Mel? Then can we talk about her relationship with her mother? Unpack her dynamic with Jayce? Maybe more fanworks centered around her? I've seen yall's fake asses dropping the shittiest fucking takes about her only to turn around and gush over how pretty she is, and yall think you're slick about it and you're not. I would say I prefer the ones who are loud and proud about their hatred but that'd be a lie, they're two cheeks on the same ass; annoying and couldn't give a decent break down of her character if a gun was pointed at they head even she's perfect to dissect. I could talk about her more but we'd be here all day and so many black women even from outside the fanbase have already talked about yall so there's no need for me to add on 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️.

Quick question, have you guys ever tried to talk about her in a non sexual way? Yes, Sevika is undeniably sexy and you could argue that true stans of hers talk about her outside of horny time, but a good half of the fandom is a different story. In a similar case to Mel's, deep dives into her character are rare to find which is crazy when she acts as Zaun's own "kingmaker". She's loyal to her city and the cause, never to a specific person and will not hesitate to betray you. She could be your right hand man one day, and the next she might find a better kingpin to follow and stab you in the back like it all meant nothing. "Were you tempted?" "Not for a worm like him". Simple and subtle and probably my favorite Sevika scene; she comes to realize Silco is no longer the best leader for Zaun, but he's as good as it gets for now and so she sticks by him. I remember a YouTube comment breaking down how she's essentially the quintessential Zaun: a brute warrior molded by her environment, who defied Vander's peaceful ways and embraced Silco's cruelty. Her mindset and goal is interesting and you'd think it'd result in some fascinating meta or exploration of her upbringing when we got a hint that she potentially has some daddy issues right? Obviously, but what do we get instead? White sapphics treating her like nothing more than a sexual object. How delightful!

Ekko:

This might partially be Riot's fault because — and I hate to sound like a league lore nerd — Ekko is quite underdeveloped compared to the richer origins of his former pre arcane self, but I'm gonna hold off on that till the season finale to see how they handle him. Anyways, at this point the fandom clearly sees him as Jinx's trophy husband. When you talk about him, she is brought into the convo 90% of the time. That's exactly why I prefer black timebomb shippers over the nonblack ones because I trust they actually love Ekko as a character on his own. Even though I have my complaints regarding how's been written so far, I still know he's too good to be reduced to Jinx's loverboy. He fights and cares for his city, the only character that you can confidently say is pure of heart, and is the revolutionary leader Zaun really needs. He's just as smart as Jinx too, he is literally going to create TIME TRAVEL. Why does no one wanna talk about that? Can we be excited for his character development and arc not just for the timebomb scenes you'll get out of it?

Ambessa:

Can't even deny this woman is awful but her presence on screen enthralled me after a couple of rewatches and I also love bad mothers in media so I've settled on a love/hate relationship. Yes, she's definitely gonna have some influence on Caitlyn, which makes sense since she has now lost her mother; she's vulnerable and as we have seen, naive. She's practically free real estate for Ambessa. My recent worry though has been how the fandom seems to be willing to put all of Caitlyn's actions on her as if Cait isn't a grown ass woman who can make her own decisions. Of course being grown doesn't mean you're immune to manipulation, but I've seen some Silco and Jinx comparisons and it is NOT the same. Mind you we haven't even seen the first three episodes; we don't know how far Ambessa's manipulation is going to go and we can't really tell what the dynamic is gonna be like based off of clips and trailers that are likely shown out of context on purpose to throw people off. I'll never defend her actions, hell I'll join in on the lashings, but my black ass is also not gonna sit here and let yall talk about her weirdly or pin all of this on her.

Some might say I'm overthinking this, but I've been here since November 2021 and have sat back and observed for 2 years. You don't have to write deep, philosophical conversations 24/7, I'm sure it's not all in bad faith and I won't act like I don't thirst over Sevika or marvel at Mel's beauty. I'm not saying you have to like these characters and that you're racist if you don't. My frustration comes from the lack of nuanced conversations and hypocritical opinions surrounding black characters in this show. When you try to say something about this, you're hit with excuses; it reminds me of how man obsessed fujoshis act when they're questioned for not giving two fucks about female characters. They're either reduced to one character trait, only admired for their looks, or only discussed when it's about the white character they're connected to. Do NOT under ANY circumstance be black and morally ambiguous, you WILL be held to higher moral standards than everyone's wittle blorbos who can do wrong and are defended from all sides when you dare to take the rose colored stan glasses off and criticize them. What's really ridiculous is you hear the "complex characters" bullshit every two to three business days and some of you have the nerve to boast about this series being diverse while simultaneously ignoring the complexities in the characters of color. This is the main reason I took a step back and with season two around the corner I thought "Hey, maybe it'll be better this time!" and it was a mistake. Good to know yall still have an underlying racism problem you don't wanna address but with some extra classism thrown in. "What will we do once Arcane ends?" hopefully get a job, touch some grass, and reflect. Lord knows yall need it. The faster yall sizzle out the better. I'm done that's all I have to say lol goodnight 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽.

[tmbgareok]

Evening Mr. Flansburgh!

I am an aspiring musician! I really want to create my own songs, but since I'm an absolute beginner starting from the ground up, I am soul-crushingly daunted by which skill I should focus on learning first, especially with the amount of resources available to me online (Singing? Lyric writing? Learning a particular instrument? Mixing? Music Theory? etc).

Do you remember what skill(s) you focused on doing first when you were just getting into music, or have any recommendations about the order to do then in?

Much appreciated!

JF: reflecting on it, my experience was extremely organic, slow-evolving and combined so many of my interests and obsessions I am not sure it is necessarily that universal. (For instance I was kinda obsessed with recorded sound before I started writing and recording songs on a tape recorder, which I did for a couple of YEARS before I ever played in front of another human being). So I came to writing songs with some extra skills that actually facilitated my earliest efforts.

An art history professor of mine said "Art is foisting your obsessions on the world" and I think he was right. Another art professor of mine said if you embark on a dozen creative projects, the odds of creating an inspired one greatly increases over simply working on one. I think this is very good advice, and is echoed by a lot of folks writing about the nature of creativity.

If you can't play chords, or move your hands around a keyboard or a fretboard fast enough to play a chord progression, saddle up to a screen with a movie and practice scales so your fingers get stronger. Do it everyday for some time. Then practice toggling back and forth between two chords as quickly as possible. Get a metronome. You know why!

Yes, a song is exactly the confected thing your mentioned in your request--it's a lyric, a melody, a progression, a beat, an evolving musical notion. But those parts are often created at separate times and simply smushed together. It doesn't have to be done in one go, and if the whole enterprise seems odd, or your skill set is underdeveloped in one way or another, assembling a song from the various moving elements might be an easier way to approach it.

(also a couple of days ago someone was asking about singing and I pointed at a few ideas there--essentially taking advantage of these free online vocal warm up videos)

I think you should gather a small clutch of tools--a tape recorder or a DAW that is simple enough to master quickly--there are multitrack recording apps that you can install on your phone that are intuitive. A couple of instruments-a guitar or keyboard, maybe an auto harp.

Find a place to work where you can make noise and not be heard.

I think you should start writing in a physical notebook where you can write down your ideas and revisit them. I wouldn't do it on a computer. It's slow writing, and the screen just creates distractions.

Write a bunch of lyrics without trying to write music: Make one about you but write it like it's about someone else, one about someone else's experience but sing it first person, write one about a group of people. Be positive. Be negative. Be regretful. Be optimistic. Express anger. Be as extreme as you can stand. Experiment in writing in every mode you can think of. Here somebody would write "express your own ideas", but ALL of your ideas will be your own! You are making choices based on musical notions that inspired you, but what comes out of you will almost certainly be different enough, and if it's too close to something else, shimmy it around so it isn't distracting! Write a few chord progressions. (A two chord progression that just sounds interesting going back and forth. A four chord progression. Make a beat, or find a beat online, and write a bass line or just a sequence of single notes on a keyboard or guitar to make a pleasant, evolving line. And see if you can write a "song" or two with a two or four chord verse, and a chorus that is a different chord progression.) Write it down and revisit it! Record it slow. You might want to speed it up later when it's "under your fingers."

Pretty soon you will have all the component of what you need to put lyrics to music. You can also try just singing lyrics over a beat, and then figure out the chords underneath AFTER you have a notion of a melody.

That's enough free advice. Go write some songs!

[whytheylosttheirminds]

A few questions about Don’t Call Me Kid (my obsession 🤩🤩🤩):

1. What argument did Rafe and Carter have their senior year?

2. Has Rafe really always have feelings for reader? If so, why did he seem to be embarrassed by her when they were in high school?

3. Does Rafe understand reader’s high school experience? Like does he see now how much him being hot and cold to her and the others picking on her made her how she is now?

Omg thank you for these thoughtful questions! Sorry it took me so long to reply, I typed out a whole thesis paper and then my app crashed and I lost it 😩

Gonna put my answers under the cut because there’s some spoilers for the final chapters 🫶

1. There will be a flashback to the argument in chapter 7! It’s a big piece of the puzzle that reader is missing which gives more context to how Rafe really felt about her in high school.

2. I don’t think it’s really a yes or no answer. Part of the reason I like writing for Rafe is that in any universe whether he’s a literal murderer or just an aggravating frat boy, nothing is ever black and white for him, even though he wants it to be. He wants to know if he’s a good person or a bad person, if he’s in love or if he’s not, if he’s making the right choice or the wrong one, but it’s never that simple and he gets frustrated, usually resulting in dumb, impulsive decisions. DCMK Rafe is going to reckon with that in the last few chapters and he’ll be more frustrated than ever that it isn’t so simple. Still I think at the end of the day, yes. He loves her and he always has, but his underdeveloped teenage boy brain was more concerned with being well liked and maintaining an image and at the end of the day, he chose that image over her.

3. I don’t think he does fully. I think he knows she liked him and he was certainly aware that she wasn’t considered “popular” but I don’t think he understands how his actions and the actions of others affected her long-term. He sees her now, self-assured and thriving and he doesn’t fully understand that something else could be going on under the surface (don’t worry, she’ll tell him 🙂‍↕️). If anything I think he’s actually jealous of her for being able to leave it all in her past when he feels like he carries everything around with him like a weight on his back (another trait of Rafe in every universe).

I’m hoping to tie a lot of these loose ends in the final few chapters! Thank you so much for reading and being invested in I these lil characters, they mean a whole lot to me 🙏💖

[teamatsumu]

was i meant to love you? (part one)

pairing: miya osamu x reader

summary: the kanji on your arm says Miya Atsumu’s name. but every fiber of your being is in love with his twin brother.

word count: 2796

warnings: soulmate au, fem!reader, miya atsumu x reader, angst, fluff, swearing

series masterlist

As a young child, your parents always told you that the universe created soulmates to form and nurture the bonds of love. No human on this planet would be left alone, because everyone had someone created for them. To love and care for them, to fill the gaps in their hearts and provide people with the bliss of knowing that they meant the whole world to someone.

There was nothing sad or difficult about it, the universe had ensured it.

At an infant’s first birthday, neat kanji letters would appear on their forearm, clear as day, specifying the first and last names of their soulmates. There was no ambiguity. The universe ensured that you would find your soulmate no matter what. An individual would grow up knowing who they were meant to be with, and they would die at a ripe old age with that person after spending their whole lives with them.

You were no exception to the rule. When the clock struck midnight, your tiny, one year old arm was marked with the letters that would be there until you died. A simple name.

Miya Atsumu.

Your mother was ever the hopeless romantic. She had met your father in her late teens, considering he lived all the way across the globe and getting there wasn’t easy. So she wanted for you what she had never had. A childhood romance. A kinship between children that would one day transform into a comfortable, familiar love. She wanted you to grow up with the person you were meant to be with, to stand by his side through everything, no matter how trivial. The thought of maturing with your other half had her sighing and batting her eyelashes dreamily, so the minute your kanji appeared, the hunt for Miya Atsumu was on.

Imagine her overjoyed reaction when she found out he was in the same country. Nothing could stop her from uprooting your lives in Tokyo to move all the way to Hyogo, and your father, the man who could never deny her anything, had agreed to go along of course. Anything for his wife. And anything to secure love for his child.

And so you met the Miya Twins. Same age as you, scarily identical and hard to differentiate in your tiny, underdeveloped mind. You had moved in only a few blocks away, and once your mother had spoken to their parents, it seemed you were woven into their lives permanently.

Miya Atsumu, your soulmate, was okay. He was a baby, you were a baby. You have no concept of love, or fate, or other halves. All you cared about was that he was active and loved to play. But he didn’t like sharing his toys which often made you cry. In moments like these, his twin, Miya Osamu, would share with you what was his, both of you playing together and occasionally scowling over at Atsumu. Eventually, Atsumu would get tired of being left out, and he would offer you his own toys just so all of you would play together.

Your mother thought it was very cute. The twins’ mother was endlessly relieved. At least one of her boys had found his soulmate. Because for the other, it seemed a hopeless case.

For you see, Miya Osamu’s arm was blank. There were no deep red kanji letters on his skin, telling him who his soulmate was. As far as the eye could tell, Miya Osamu had no one.

The boy had no concept of how doomed he was. But his parents did. And his mother had cried and sobbed herself to sickness thinking her boy was an anomaly. That somehow, the universe believed that maybe Osamu didn’t deserve love. It broke their hearts. So when Atsumu’s soulmate was brought to them, they felt slightly at ease. Just a bit. Just enough to lighten their load slightly. Because you got along so well with Osamu. You liked to play with him, you enjoyed sharing with him. Sometimes, you even ate off the same plate (something Atsumu would never tolerate. That was his food. He doesn’t share).

Their mother could rest easy knowing that even if Osamu didn’t have a soulmate, his twin brother’s soulmate would not cut him out. That Osamu could still rely on family, even if he didn’t have somebody of his own.

In hindsight, these early interactions between toddlers should have been an indication of the future. But your mothers never noticed something off. If only you had a brain developed enough to realize what was happening at such an early age.

And so you grew up with the twins, same daycares, same schools, same playgrounds. At no point were you separated. From the moment you could form coherent thoughts, they were with you, and you with them. Atsumu was your loud, boisterous soulmate. Always ready for a challenge, endlessly hungry for victory. In his middle school days he had decided he wanted to play volleyball for the rest of his life, and so that’s what he focused on. Atsumu was a simple person, his intentions and objectives were clear.

In middle school, you first wrapped your head around the fact that Atsumu was someone you had to like romantically. It was almost a foreign concept, but the young girl in you was curious, just as anyone your age would be while going through puberty. So you were excited when you and Atsumu started ‘dating’. It was what Fate had dictated, after all. You and him were meant to be together, weren’t you?

You had your first kiss with him after a volleyball game. You had been cheering from the sidelines, and Atsumu barrelled right into you after the final whistle. He was sweaty, and very sticky, and he laid an equally sticky smooch on your lips. You and him both buzzed with the adrenaline of the win, and the kiss felt nice.

You would hold hands at school, and Atsumu would walk you to class. You would always stay on the balcony during after-school practice, watching the twins play. To onlookers, it was endlessly cute. Young love, as they say.

You didn’t think too much about the fact that you did it more out of obligation than for love. You assumed this is what it was. The ‘soulmate bond’ or whatever. You didn’t need to consider it. You had always been told that your life and Atsumu’s were connected, so that was that.

And then there was Osamu. Quieter than Atsumu, but just as determined. He had a competitive streak just as mean as his brother, and at no point did he get left behind. Osamu loved volleyball, maybe not as much as his brother, but enough to invest a whole lot of his time into it. In every aspect, the twins balanced each other perfectly. Osamu knew exactly when to reign Atsumu in. He was more perceptive in that sense. He picked up on stuff that flew over Atsumu’s head sometimes. And that applied to you too.

He was your best friend.

When you would fall on the playground and skin your knees, Osamu would help you up. He would wipe the tears and snot off your face and shoulder you as you walked home. He would hold your hand while your mother would clean and patch you up. Osamu would share all his snacks with you, including candy. He didn’t mind. He always insisted that you ate so little that it hardly mattered.

In middle school, Osamu made sure to ask the volleyball team coach for permission to let you stay and watch practices. Onlookers weren’t really allowed for day-to-day training, but Osamu convinced him to make an exception. You studied together for every quiz, every test. When you would fall asleep while studying, it would always somehow be on Osamu’s bed, and he would tuck you in without fail every single time.

While Atsumu kept looking forward in life, Osamu made sure to glance back and hold your hand tight to make sure you didn’t get left behind.

He was here now too, standing outside the volleyball coach’s office with you. Your first year in Inarizaki High, and you clutched your application in your hand tightly, making Osamu tut and pull the paper from your hands lest you wrinkle it even more. He smoothed it out and gave you a quick once over, sighing a bit.

“Ya gotta cool it.” He spoke up, watching how you nervously fidgeted all over the place.

“Thanks, that helps a lot.” Sarcasm dripped from your words and you gave him a nasty look. He only rolled his eyes in return, reading over your application one more time.

“Yer gonna be fine. Once he knows you and Tsumu are soulmates, yer practically guaranteed the manager position.” He said, trying to soothe you a bit.

“How is that a guarantee?” You scoffed, staring at the closed office door.

“Because he’ll think ya can keep that scrub in line.”

You would’ve laughed if you weren’t so nervous. “He would be dead wrong. When has Atsumu ever listened to me?”

Osamu snorted. “‘M not sayin’ he would be right. But don’t ya dare correct him. I need ya on that team to keep me sane.”

You finally gave him a smile, feeling better slightly. It wasn’t really his words. Osamu’s whole presence just helped you feel better.

And he was also right. You easily got the managerial role for the Boys’ Volleyball Team. The twins whooped in celebration when you gave them the news, Atsumu laying a sloppy kiss on your cheek while Osamu just gave you an encouraging grin.

Something in you stirred when you realized that in the moment, you wanted Osamu to kiss your cheek too.

Whoa. Where did that come from?

It was easy enough to dismiss though, because Atsumu was pulling you into his lap on the couch, talking about how awesome it would be to have you actively helping the team instead of just being a spectator. Osamu’s stare wavered before dropping from you entirely. And you could’ve sworn you saw his eyes dim.

Nah, it couldn’t be, right? There was nothing to be sad about. You had just gotten the manager position. But when Atsumu tucked your head under his chin, it hit you. Osamu’s sadness was likely due to him not having a soulmate.

The topic of Osamu’s absent soulmate was something that was never brought up. Somehow, it was always ignored. He never mentioned it, and neither did you. You were unsure if he had ever talked about it with Atsumu, but you hesitated to ask. You didn’t want him feeling worse than he already probably did. And you were sure that your and Atsumu’s open displays of affection weren’t helping that fact either.

You stayed silent, though you did slowly detach Atsumu’s arms from around you and slid off his lap, instead sitting between the twins on the couch. He didn’t notice, too engrossed with whatever was happening on the TV before him. Your attention was entirely on Osamu though, trying to decipher his expression from the corner of your eye. He was still as a rock, not giving anything away.

You fought the urge to hug him.

Back in middle school, Osamu had first questioned the fact that he did not have a name on his arm. It was a silly childish tantrum, something about how come Tsumu had something that he didn’t? He had pestered his mother about it until she sat him down and explained. You don’t know what exactly they talked about, but you never heard him complain about it again.

Your overthinking mind immediately started mulling through your memories, thinking about all the times you and Atsumu had done something in front of Osamu. You felt guilt ripple through you when you realized that it all probably reminded him of his lack of soulmate. And he never said anything about it. You knew that must have been a struggle. Osamu told you everything. But maybe he felt that he couldn’t tell you about this.

The thought made your heart ache for him.

“Tsumu?”

Your boyfriend hummed in response, too focused on whatever video game he was currently obsessing over. His tongue was sticking out from the corner of his mouth, eyebrows scrunched in concentration. You rolled your eyes.

“Hey, c’mon. Turn that off. I gotta talk to you about something.”

“Gimme five minutes.”

You groaned and flopped down on his bed, knowing five minutes meant at least twenty, and resigning yourself to wait for that time. If you forcefully made him quit the game, he would be distracted throughout your conversation. You needed him to be fully attentive for this.

When you finally had him settled on the bed in front of you, game turned off and him frowning at how serious you were being, you got straight to the point.

“We need to tone shit down in front of Samu.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“What does that mean?”

You explained to him how you felt that Osamu might be feeling left out when Atsumu draped himself all over you, making him hum and rub on his chin in thought.

“He never said anythin’.”

You nodded. “But he always gets kind of upset about it.”

“I haven’t noticed.”

“That’s because you’re dumb as bricks.”

“Hey!”

The conversation abruptly ends there, with Atsumu pinning you down on the bed and holding you hostage until you apologised for calling him dumb. But the agreement is made, and from then on, you and Atsumu tone down your physical affection when you’re around Osamu.

No more kisses when they picked you for school in the mornings, or after practices when they walked you home. And no more unnecessarily long hugs. And of course, no more sitting on Atsumu’s lap while Osamu was there.

You hadn’t anticipated that this meant almost no intimacy at all, because Osamu was around you two all the time. You didn’t notice that you spent so much time with him until you had to be mindful of your actions. And as the weeks passed by, your and Atsumu’s physical relationship fizzled to almost nothing.

It should have been concerning. It should have. But it wasn’t. The lack of affection did almost nothing to you. If anything, the thing you were concerned about was why you weren’t concerned. Atsumu was your soulmate, yet you could go days and weeks without feeling any need or want to kiss him or hug him. You were still around each other all the time, but the instinctual habit of being in his arms was breaking, and you felt this gnawing fear that without it, your and Atsumu’s relationship was barely a relationship.

In trying to accommodate Osamu, you discovered your lack of feelings for your soulmate.

Your second year of high school was plagued with thoughts of your hesitation, why you tried and tried, but felt almost nothing for the blond twin except the sense of kinship that came with knowing him for so long. You stared at Atsumu as he rose up in the world of volleyball. Making Nationals, going to Youth Camp, and while you did feel proud of him, there was not an ounce of you that loved him romantically.

And it made you feel lost.

All your life, you had been told Atsumu was the one for you. Your other half. The one you would marry and have kids with and die with. You had been friends with him since you could barely walk. And he had been your boyfriend since you knew what a boyfriend was. You had kissed him and hugged him and cuddled with him so often that it was almost by default. Instinct. But now that your instinct was no longer there, you felt….. nothing.

Atsumu was your friend. One of your very best friends, but no part of him made your heart beat faster or your breaths come shallower. He was just….. Atsumu.

When you kissed him in the comfort of your room, alone, you felt nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. You had always felt nothing. But when it was part of your routine, you didn’t realise how fucked up these lack of feelings were.

Now you did.

Fear filled you when you realized how abnormal your feelings were. How could you be like this? The universe had decided Atsumu was the one for you. The fucking universe. Who were you to deny it? Who were you to question his place in your life? And how could you possibly make these feelings go away?

You were alone in this.

If only you had known back then that not loving Atsumu would soon be the very least of your concerns.

[dhddmods]

Some intersex flags! (Part 2)

Part 2 of making flags for intersex traits and variations that were flagless! (Part one is here.) There will be a part 3 & 4 and then all the main intersex traits/variations will officially have flags.

Please read (and reblog) our intersex guide. It is so important to understand intersex people, their bodies, and their health!

Accessory Ovary

The flag is based on the uterus didelphys and polyorchidism flags. The A is meant to represent the name of this variation. The three circles are meant to represent ovaries. The plus symbol is meant to stand for people who have more than one accessory ovary (aka 3+ ovaries.)

Supernummary Ovary

The flag is based on the uterus didelphys and polyorchidism flags. The S is meant to represent the name of this variation. The three circles are meant to represent ovaries. The plus symbol is meant to stand for people who have more than one accessory ovary (aka 3+ ovaries.)

Cervical Duplication

The flag is based on the uterus didelphys flag. In the center of the flag, the shape is meant to vaguely resemble a uterus with two cervixes.

Cervical Duplication + Uterus Didelphys

The flag is based on the uterus didelphys flag, with the shapes being changed to vaguely resemble two uteruses with cervixes.

Cervical Agenesis

The flag is based on the MKRH Syndrome flag. The symbol is meant to represent a uterus with an X over where the cervix would be.

Cervical Hypoplasia

The flag is based on MKRH Syndrome flag. The symbol is meant to represent a uterus with a minus symbol over where the cervix would be, representing its smaller size.

Uterine Hypoplasia

The flag is based on MKRH Syndrome flag, with a minus with a minus symbol, representing its smaller size.

Anorchia

The flag is based on the ovarian agenesis flag. The circle with the X represents a lack of gonads.

Monorchidism

The flag is based on the ovarian agenesis flag. The circle in the symbol represents the testicle itself. The 1 represents how there is only one gonad, and the M represents the name of this variation.

Unilateral Ovarian Agenesis

The flag is based on the ovarian agenesis flag. The circle in the symbol represents the ovary itself. The 1 represents how there is only one gonad, and the U represents the name of this variation.

Aromatase Excess Syndrome (AEXS/AES)

The flag uses the hyperestrogenism symbol, as it is a form of hyperstrogenism. The shades of pink represent the feminizing effects of the variation. The rainbow and monochrome coloring represents the gender spectrum, and how any gender can have this variation.

Classic CAH (Simple-Virilizing)

The flag is based on the CAH flag. The SV represents the name of this variation.

Classic CAH (Salt-Wasting)

The flag is based on the CAH flag. The SW represents the name of this variation.

Nonclassic CAH

The flag is based on the CAH flag. The NC represents the name of this variation.

Leydig Cell Hypoplasia (LCH)

The shades of blue represent the masculinizing effects of testosterone. The grey represents hypoandrogenism, and low levels of androgens. The grey circle represents the testes, and the underdeveloped/absent leydig cells within them.

17-KSR Deficiency

The purple and yellow represents that this variation is a form of intersex. The shades of grey surrounding the blue represents the "barrier" preventing androstenedione from converting into testosterone. The Ks and 17 represents the name of this variation.

Aromatase Deficiency

The purple and yellow represents that this variation is a form of intersex. The shades of blue represents the hyperandrogenism, and the pink surrounded by grey represents hypoestrogenism. The AD represents the name of this variation.

Mild Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (MAIS)

The flag is based on the AIS flag. The M represents the name of this variation.

Partial Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (PAIS)

The flag is based on the AIS flag. The Ps represents the name of this variation.

Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (CAIS)

The flag is based on the AIS flag. The Cs represents the name of this variation.

[fantasy-anatomy-analyst]

Centaur Worldbuilding

this one has been in the works for a really long time! but here it is at last: the details about how I personally have chosen to worldbuild with centaurs.

My centaurs are based on chalicotheres, popularly referred to as "gorilla horses". I thought they were a perfect base to start from when making people that resemble a horse combined with a human. Though my centaurs lean way more into the chalicothere look and don't resemble humans much at all.

here are a few variations on color/pattern for centaur coats, based mostly on paleoart of chalicotheres.

(image description: six illustrations of centaurs with different coloration. The two main colors are a red-brown and a duller tan color. the three main patterns are soft gradients, stripes, and spots. end description.)

and it is a really really long post so the rest is under a cut for convenience.

The reason centaurs have six limbs is because somewhere back in their ancient ancestry, chimeric twins became more and more common and then became the default. There was most certainly some meddling from a Life entity in order to make this happen (the immortal beings who channel the world's natural magic energy to mess with living things as they please, though they can only use a limited amount of power before they fade into that vast well of energy and disappear). This does mean that the front "legs" of a centaur are actually a pair of arms. The main differences between the upper arms and the front legs are the placement of the shoulder, the amount of muscle, and how the centaurs trim their hooves for dexterity or support.

(image description: two drawings of a centaur standing while bending down to touch the ground with their hands. the second image shows an overlay of their skeleton, illustrating the chimeric twin anatomy with its split ribcage and two pairs of forelimbs, or arms. They have three hooved digits on each hand/foot on all six limbs. visually, their face is a bit horse-like and their whole body is colored reddish-brown with a pale belly. end description.)

and yes, they can use use their front legs as a pair of secondary arms when needed. They're not as dextrous a pair of arms, but they do make a lot of tasks easier, such as being able to buckle a bag strap around one's own belly, or catching hold of a rambunctious foal before they run face first into your knees.

(any inconsistencies in these proportions from here onward is entirely down to my own artistic flaws, as keeping character/creature designs perfectly consistent is not easy)

Because they are chimeric twins, it is far more common for centaurs to be born with congenital defects than it is for any other group. The second pair of forelimbs and the added height of the upper torso may be extremely useful for leaf-browsing creatures like centaurs, but the messy nature of their gestation often causes problems. Much of the time, this leads to stillbirths and miscarriage. but some defects are survivable and every herd has a good number of disabled members.

(image description: simple sketches of three visibly disabled centaurs using mobility aids. The first one has underdeveloped forelegs, and is using a combination of crutches and a wheeled platform under their lower torso. the second one was born without the chimeric twin, resembling a chalicothere. they have a folding support stand strapped to their belly to support their weight when they need to use their hands. the last one has a ribcage that failed to split, resulting in a short torso like the twinless centaur, as well as a pair of underdeveloped forelegs. they are using a wheeled platform under their chest, which they can push with their upper pair of arms. end description.)

These are just a few of the more visible and survivable disabilities common to centaurs. wheels are a very important invention for centaur life, not only for their disabled population, but also because pulling carts is a much more effective way to carry a lot of items at once, which is very useful.

Centaurs are also enormous. twelve feet, or roughly 3.5 meters, tall from the base of their front toes to the top of their head when standing upright. They tower over pretty much every other people species, as they are basically just a remnant ice age megafauna that became sapient.

(image description: flat colored drawings of an orc, an elf, and a centaur all standing next to each other. the orc comes roughly to the centaur's upper ribs, and the elf is roughly as tall as the orc's armpit. end description)

it would be extremely rude, but anyone the size of an average elf or smaller could easily play limbo under a centaur's belly. it's a really bad idea though.

Orcs are also remnant megafauna, and it's not by coincidence. Their ancestors were the main predator of ancient centaurs. (this also means the ancestors of gnomes were the main predator of centaurs, but this fact is often overlooked since gnomes are so much smaller than their cousins). even into the modern day (of my stories) centaurs mostly live in their own isolated territories, actively keeping other people out. Especially the orcs. The journey from natural predator and prey, to sapient peoples who did not recognize each other as people, to enemies, and then to tensely peaceful separated populations, was a long and difficult journey, fraught with violence on all sides.

Where the line falls between animal and people is murky and difficult to define. When exactly did the natural behavior of hunting prey become grounds for warfare? No one is really sure. Even if the line is drawn, what would it change? nothing. the past already happened. their people already have an enormous divide between them; a chasm of blood that can't be forgotten.

(image description: a vividly colored digital painting of an ancient centaur trying to escape three ancient pig-like predators as they pounce and bite in their attempt to bring it down. end description.)

many orcish artifacts still remain in centaur territory as the result of many clashes and hurried retreats. The orcs conceded, in the end. they returned all their belongings that were made from the bodies of centaurs, allowed the centaurs to draw the territorial lines, and then kept themselves far away and avoided those areas for centuries.

Centaurs are a migrational species, so orcs were too. Orcish culture used to focus on centaurs as a sacred animal, and then they had to toss it all aside and build their culture back up from whatever they had left. and in the meantime, the centaurs who had spent so many generations fleeing predation, watching their most frail herd members be picked off, and fighting back at last to defend themselves, were free to rest and build their culture far beyond their prior means. they became master weavers, using a wide variety of plant fibers to create clothing and art and useful items they didn't have time for when they were more in danger of being hunted. Though most centaurs still choose to go around with very little clothing, if any, because it feels more practical.

(image description: three different centaur outfits. the first is minimal, all jewelry and simple gloves. the note on it says "small accessories and jewelry are often more practical for an active centaur." the second one is wearing bark cloth around both of their waists to act as a barrier between their body and the straps of large bags on their back. They are also wearing gloves and cloth wraps around their hands and feet. the note here says "centaurs are largely nomadic and have developed many durable weaving techniques to create high quality travel bags." and lastly is a ceremonial outfit, featuring a cape and gloves all dyed in vivid shades of green with leafy patterns in the cloth. the cape is decorated with a fringe of thin cedar strips, matching a headdress of the same material. behind their head, the centaur wears a skull. the note here says "Religious garb often uses centaur skulls to reflect the nature of their conjoined deities. The Withered Twins are more commonly represented because they are a healer and gentle guide." end description)

and one very common piece of clothing for all adult centaurs is the "I'm not your mom" blanket; a weighted cloth laid over the flank to deter nosy newborns during peak baby season.

(image description: a striped adult centaur wearing a cropped shirt with beaded straps and a fancy looking leaf-pattern blanket strapped around their lower waist shoos off a speckled foal who looks a bit confused. end description.)

nosy newborns very easily forget who their mom is and need to be redirected quite often. though some lactating centaurs are more than willing to share the burden of keeping all the babies fed, and their culture does involve a lot of communal child rearing. monogamous couples and exclusive marital bonds are uncommon in centaur herds.

Most herds are led by a council of elders, who are trusted to make wise decisions as they follow their ancestral migration paths and constantly assess the needs of the herd. Some of the most important elders are those who act as religious leaders, representing the conjoined deities. Centaurs generally have two main deities. The Perfected Twins, a warrior deity, and The Withered Twins, a deity representing both death and healing.

(image description: two vibrant illustrations of centaur deities, both with a long braid of hair, their heads framed by shining circular designs like halos.

in shades of red, the warrior deity, the perfected twins, is noted to represent defense, fury, power, and hope. they have two active heads, joined at an angle in the middle so they look in different directions, two pairs of upper arms holding a shield, a spear, and a bow and arrow, and four legs. They are wearing armor on their upper waist and all of their arms. They are rearing up and look to be charging into battle.

in shades of blue, the death deity, the withered twins, noted to represent protection, healing, love, and grief. they have one active head and a smaller, partly decayed head attached to the back of their skull. Their forelegs are also underdeveloped and scrawny. their whole body is overlayed with a skeletal design. They are curled into a protective pose, holding a twinless infant with their whole torso and front limbs depicted as bones with no flesh. the deity is also wearing a translucent cape attached to upper arm bracelets.

end description)

centaurs have been fully aware of their chimeric twin biology for centuries, though they did not have the means to study it in detail or understand exactly what was happening during gestation. it's not hard though, to notice that your species is made of fused twin bodies when so many of your people are born with their bodies fused wrong, especially those who are stillborn. They believe they also have twin souls, and that the twin who is sacrificed in the womb gets to be the dominant twin in their next life. those who are born twinless usually undergo a lot of spiritual meditation to connect with their lost twin so they can meet up again in death. the stillborn foals with more obvious conjoined anatomy are said to be twins who had a fight about which of them would be dominant this time, and so they came out wrong and had to try again.

the infant held by the Withered Twins represents the sacrificed twin who waits as a spirit for their turn in the next life while the living twin uses their arms and ribs. The Withered Twins are the most commonly worshipped deity, prayed to for comfort and healing and guidance, acting as a conduit for living centaurs to stay in touch with their twin's soul. but the Perfected Twins also play an important role in centaur culture, even though their fierce warrior nature is no longer needed since the centaurs were able to separate themselves from the orcs.

the Perfected Twins represent the idealize form; the possibility of both twins sharing a body, neither being sacrificed while the other remains alive and dominant. they represent community action, partnership, cooperation. when needed, they are prayed to for strength. their image guards the borders of centaur territories, a signal to all outsiders that the centaurs have not grown docile even in isolation. at a moment's notice, they will take up arms again to keep themselves safe.

in the canon of my main stories, there was a very important historical event involving centaurs. some centuries after the Goblin Revolution shook the world and put everyone through some rough patches as various populations turned to isolation and self-imposed segregation to prevent any other interspecies troubles, while other populations embraced interspecies cooperation, there was an orc in one country who took the lead of a large clan and decided to end their tradition of isolation and reach out to the other people species in the local area. his name was He-esh and he was the first orc in that part of the world to strike an alliance with the nearby dwarf clans. he did a lot of other notable things, acting as a diplomat and repairing the broken relationship his people had with their gnomish cousins.

most notable of all, however, was his bold decision to contact the centaurs and lay his life on the line to carry an apology for the actions of his ancestors and plea for alliance between their peoples, hoping it would someday turn into friendship.

(image description: a grayscale illustration with gold accents, showing an orc kneeling in front of an armored centaur while they hold a spear to his chest. both figures have a golden halo drawn around their heads. the orc is wearing simple but elegant looking clothes, including a fringe of black feathers on the hem of his coat, and a pair of long straight tusks in his hair. his own tusks are curled with the points facing backwards. end description.)

He-esh's plea to the centaurs was received with apprehension, quite reasonably. but he never asked forgiveness, only a chance to let the future be forged anew. eventually, the centaurs accepted his plea and he was able to strike an alliance with them, gradually opening trade between them and other people species in their area. though he was never allowed very far in, He-esh got to walk into the centaur territory once to meet with their elders. at the end of He-esh's life, a centaur diplomat made history again by being the first to enter orc territory in a peaceful manner, as far as any records could tell.

this event marks the beginning of my most central story project, so I won't give away all the details yet.

as a final note on my centaurs: they don't have genders. their pronouns are based on age (child and adult) and social hierarchy (important adults).

ila/ las (child pronoun) hul/ hes (adult pronoun) ma-hul/ ma-hes (important adult pronoun)

I haven't been using the correct fantasy pronouns for all my characters very consistently, because it is a little tricky to keep track of them all and I have yet again made changes due to dissatisfaction with a few of them lol. but when I eventually have completed stories, I'll be using all those pronouns to enhance immersion.

this post has been a long time in the making, so i'm glad to finally have it done!! thanks for being patient!

[themousefromfantasyland]

The True Themes and Messages of Disney's Wish

Not gonna lie, I feel like the script for Wish is very underdeveloped, which is one of my main negative points about the movie. But is media literacy so bad that people keep missing the obvious points that the movie is literally hitting you in the head over and over again?

Magnifico is not a villain because he doesn't grant everyone's wish. He is a villain because in true Kingdom Hearts fashion, the wishes people give him are literally pieces of their hearts, their biggest and most important dreams and desires, and he uses magic to make everyone forget these huge parts of themselves, leading to severe mental anguish and complicency.

Magnifico is a villain because the wish granting process makes people unable to achieve their own dreams, and makes them extremely dependent on Magnifico for everything. It strips people of any sense of agency.

Magnifico's main motivation is that he must have absolute control over people's lives. That he must be the only source of comfort and hope people can have. That anything else is threat to his power.

The Kingdom of Rosas appear to be happy, but that happiness is shown to be just skin deep. People are unhappy and unfulfilled and only appear happy because of false hope and blind obedience.

Simon is the biggest example of this. Asha's friends are meant to be a homage to the Seven Dwarfs, and he's meant to be the Sleepy of the group. But different from the others, his narcolepsy doesn't appear to be his natural personality, especially since his wish is to be a freaking warrior.

By the way his friends talk, it's obvious the narcolepsy is a relatively new thing that is making them uncomfortable. And it's obvious it's a direct consequence of already have given up his wish to Magnifico.

Simon is the most depression coded Disney character since Eeyore, and it's obvious it's because this huge chunk of his personality was extracted out of him and erased of his mind.

"But people gave their wishes to Magnifico freely", yeah, but just like in a cult, they only did that because they didn't know the consequences, of the downsides, about how much control they were allowing Magnifico to have over their lives.

"But Rosas appear fine." Yeah, Rosas looks pretty idilic, until people start making questions. It only took people making simple questions about Magnifico's system for him to unleash dark magic to beat them into submission.

In the end, he has absolutely control even about his people's dreams. And once he realizes he can use these dreams to be more powerful, to have even more control over them, he absolutely does that.

The people of Rosas traded agency for a false hope, all in name of blind faith on a charismatic leader.

I swear to you, my parents are rabid conservatives and I saw how much trust they put on our own Trump-like figure. The conversation Asha had with Sabino, her grandfather, is the same I had with my parents. Sabino blindly trusts Magnifico so much, he prefers believing his wish is dangerous, that he did something wrong. He drank the kool-aid.

Magnifico's a mixture between politician and religious leader. Even if he built Rosas with good intentions, by the end, making so many people dependent on him corrupted him to his core.

Asha's side is not about granting everyone's wish, is about giving people the choice. To restore their agency. That they do not need to allow charismatic leaders to have absolute control over their lives.

After Magnifico's defeat, Amaya sets people with similar goal and objectives together, so they themselves can achieve their dreams, instead of having to rely sorely on authority figures.

This itself is a great message that I wish more people talked about.

[valentine-writes]

Can you do enemies to lovers with 1016 Miles?? :3

[ this will be my last req for this account, moving to my new blog officially once this one is up! catch me on @l0vem41l <3 reqs will be open there when i'm ready ＞︿＜ ]

overachiever

「 tws + notes: no tws, unedited, burnout, reader also attends visions academy, reader is trying so so hard to not be mean and fails (im so sorry), one-sided academic rivalry, author doesn't know how american schools work (i am so so sorry), comfort (?) 」

「 gn!reader, can be platonic or romantic <3」

↳ ft. miles morales (1610)

author's note: YES I CAN!!! however,, i put a lil twist on the prompt given and made it academic rivalry (i genuinely cant find a viable reason to beef w/ miles i am so sorry (-﹏-；) !!) anyways! hope this works with you!!! soz itz so short!!! :[[

"wow," your friend's eyes light up, scanning over your test results, "...you've gotta be like, the smartest person i know."

you laugh politely, smiling at them as they hand your paper back. "no, it's really not that big of a deal–"

"what do you mean 'not that big of a deal?! dude, you got 100% on a test most people failed." your friend shoves their paper in your face as evidence– a 57% in red on theirs. "that's like... the highest grade achievable. probably the highest in cla–"

"THIS GUY GOT A 101%!"

everyone turns to the voice– the loud kid who sat behind miles eyeing his test.

you blinked in disbelief. you didn't even know getting extra credit was possible on this one.

miles looked up at the faces of his staring peers faces filled with disbelief and slight annoyance, and fumbled to set his test face down on his desk. he flashed an awkward grin "uh... yeah?"

-

▸ you liked miles. he was friendly. sweet. genuine. you couldn't hate him if you wanted to. no, you didn't feel hate towards him. it was just... jealousy. simple, petty, burning jealousy.

▸ visions academy was something you had to work your ass off for, constantly studying just to stay on the level of the students who attended. NERDS. all of them were nerds. but you were attending this school too sooo,,,

and then there was miles. someone who barely even had to try to get the highest grades. he had you seething.

▸ the most humiliating part was the fact that he had little to no interest in competing with you at all. the few times you had spoken were awkward and curt on your end, and yes– it felt awful being so mean for something as small as personal resentment.

▸ nothing justified your one word responses or the accidental snark that would slip into those few words. you mentally kicked yourself for the times you watched his grin falter because of something you said, miles awkwardly trying to laugh off whatever cold remark you just shot at him.

he'd walk away, dejected, and you'd stand there for a moment– frozen as you fought the urge to run up to him and try to explain yourself or beg for forgiveness. it didn't make sense to at this point. maybe he'd just accept this was the way you were– the way things would be between you two.

▸ so yes, perhaps in your pursuit of favouring school over every other aspect of your life, your social skills were left rotting and underdeveloped. but you knew, deep down, it wasn't just you being awkward.

being around him made you feel small. talking to someone, radiating the aura of someone with a promise-filled future made you look completely directionless and clueless in comparison. the effort you put into your academics was almost repulsive to think about when miles could take a test with a blindfold on and probably still score 90s.

maybe it was the deep set fear that you'd never amount to anything if you didn't burn yourself out trying. all of a sudden, the academic validation of being good wasn't enough. not when you were one of the best once.

▸ you spent an absurd amount of time trying to avoid him, deliberately moving to the furthest corners of the library so he wouldn't see you there struggling to wrap your head around whatever you were being taught in physics.

heavens above forbid that he walk up to you, greeting you with that sunny smile and cheerful voice that could make anyone falter. you may have been jealous of him– but oh, how you hated that feeling that way when he nothing but well-meaning.

-

the last sip of your coffee– long cooled by now thanks thermodynamics– did nothing to make you feel less dead. you had lost track of the time you had spent practically decomposing in this library, studying for an upcoming physics test that had you reeling just by the mere thought of it.

you sighed, staring at the papers strewn on the desk. your hands fidgeted with the pencil in your hand, it's eraser and tip rendered flat and useless by now, as you tried to muster the energy to gather your things to leave. it was much too late. the library would be closed soon and you'd be forced to go back home to study at your own desk in your bedroom.

this was routine. go to school, study in the library until it gets dark, and go home to study more– the next day, you'd find yourself still awake and studying or with a headache, your cheek pressed to the desk, and drool on your notebook. yeah. your bed hasn't been used in a solid while. and science homework isn't exactly the comfiest pillow. but this is what you were used to.

standing up, you stretched out a bit– and immediately froze as a familiar voice called your name. you paused, reluctantly turning to the source of the voice.

"...god, morales–" you huffed, "you nearly scared me half to death."

this is the friendliest you've been towards him in a while, he notices, as you flash him a tiny, crooked smile on your tired face. all potential malice you could have held had been beaten out by your absolute lack of energy.

he approaches you and looks at your desk, considering what to say to fill the silent air. he places a hand on your shoulder, you stiffen–

"hey." miles flashes a grin, not his signature smile but,, somewhat of a forced smolder.

you stare and resist the urge to cringe, wondering if you were sleep deprived to the point of hallucinations. you gently brush his hand off your shoulder.

"...hi?" you respond, unsure of what to do.

miles is snapped out of whatever stupid trance he was in by your voice.

"oh– uh– yeah, hey," he repeats your name again, trying to recover from whatever that was, "is– is everything okay?"

"i could ask you the same thing."

he lets out a little chuckle. "you know what i mean. all... this." miles' hand gestures vaguely to your desk and current state of complete entropy. "how long have you been here?"

you avert your gaze, shame burning in your face. "i... don't know?"

a pause.

miles places a hand on your back this time, in an attempt of friendly comfort. geez, are they keeping you locked in here?" he quips, earning half of a dry laugh from you. "c'mon. you should probably get home and rest by now."

"but–" your lips part in protest, looking back up at him to argue– but he just looks back, concern filled in his dark doe-like eyes. all possibilities of fighting him on this were out the window.

"you need it." he insists, a gentle smile forming on his face. much better than the weird smoulder from earlier, you think. "i'll even walk you there."

before you can speak up, he moves away from you, beginning to help you gather up your things to pack up. you mumble a silent thank you to him, which he accepts happily with a nod.

as he hands over the papers, his eyes scan them. "oh! physics? i love physics."

"no shit, morales." you scoff, snatching up the papers from him and stuffing them in your bag. "it sure seems to love you."

yet again, you've managed to mess things up. you bite the inside of your cheek before you can say anything worse. a sigh escapes your lips, as you decide to at least try and save the interaction.

"look... i'm really sorry. it's been a rough day, i've been struggling to get the concepts down, i'm falling behind and feeling stupid as hell right now, and– to make everything worse, the fucking test is just stressing me out and i just– i just..." you trail off from your ramblings, a sob getting caught in your throat as your shaky hands grip your backpack.

"woah, woah, hey– it's okay."

he slowly puts an arm around your shoulder, careful not to startle you or make you uncomfortable. you don't even realize how you lean into him. "let's just get you home. you've done your best, yeah?"

you nod. he offers you a little smile.

"exactly. and that's enough. okay? you're doing more than you can handle right now." there's a few more shared words as he reassures you.

part of him wonders how long this had been going on– how long you had been working yourself until you broke– mainly because that test that was stressing you out was more than a week away. yeah. he'd need to convince you to watch after yourself more often.

-

"and now a silly one!!!" (more lighthearted hcs below for the aftermath of this becuz goodness me.)

▸ things definitely ease up around miles. if he can't convince you to step away from your work, he's chosen to be able to regulate it.

studying with him in a local cafe is now a frequent thing you two do together. miles always gives you time to work, but will then ever so subtly lure you into moving on from your work to hang out with him normally. and it works. every single time. you might start in the library or cafe, but where you'll be later? always a mystery.

whether it's a walk in the park, going back to his place to chat, or finding some random activity to do, you find yourself bonding with him more and more. your jealousy begins to fade, finding a friend in him instead of someone you have to one up.

▸ you both spontaneously decided to see a new horror movie once and accidentally got miles in trouble with his parents for coming home after curfew. and he'd 100% do it again in a heartbeat if you asked.

▸ no matter what you get on that next test, miles is going to congratulate you like it's the best he's ever seen. he's overjoyed to share your achievements, to celebrate them like no one in your life ever has.

miles holds up his test as you tell him your grade. "you got a 92? hey look– me too!"

a snarky voice speaks up, "well, i got a 98% so–"

"no one was talking to you." miles retorts.

you press a hand to your mouth and look away, trying to stifle laughter. was he always this sassy or did you just end up rubbing off on him?

▸ you both end up being extra studious for the next test (breaks included this time) and he's sure to be extra loud about congratulating you for your perfect 100%

maybe the sass wasn't all you,,, but the minor pettiness definitely is your influence. it's actually not. miles is pretty easygoing,, but man did he not like when that random ass kid gave you attitude.

you smile at miles, ensuring to do the same for him if not, a little louder

"what? 'm complimenting you." you tilt your head at miles' stunned expression.

for a moment, he stumbles over his words. "i know– you just– i didn't expect that from you, so–"

you laugh. "what? you want me to go back to being mean or something?"

miles laughs too. it's hard not to stare at the way he lights up a room like this.

▸ things feel lighter now. you've made social progress with others, you have a life beyond just school– and you have miles. part of you wonders if you'll ever be able to tell him just how much he means to you and how you wish you could've just been his friend from the start.

sometimes, in the corner of his eye, he catches your wistful stare. and though he doesn't utter a single word, you start to feel that he cherishes you just as much.

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Fic rec for my BFF, pt.2 : Seasons 4-5

Here's the next part of my "fic rec for my BFF who's watching 9-1-1" series, covering seasons 4 and 5!

Season 4

To Build a Home We Deconstruct Our Rituals by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

Post-S4, Marriage of convenience | 44K | Explicit

After the shooting, Eddie realizes he needs to put some things in place. Like who will get his assets if he dies. Who will speak for him if he ends up in a coma. What might happen if his family contests Buck's guardianship. Luckily, he's got a simple easy-peasy solution that won't result in insanity, catastrophe, or heartbreak: Marry Buck.

Eddie: Let's get married! In a platonic way! 😆

it's blue (the feeling i got) series by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck

Post-Shooting | 4 works, Complete | 37K

don't want no other shade of blue but you (Post-S4E14 | 11K | Teen): “You can’t go see your son like this.” That gives Buck pause. “He’s not—he’s not my son.” “Isn’t he, though?” she says. And part of Buck wants to argue, but a bigger part of him thinks, isn’t he, though? Not by blood, sure, or legally, but in all the ways that matter, Christopher is as good as his son. if your cascade ocean-wave blues come (Post-S4, Getting Together | 16K | Mature): “You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?” Ana sounds disappointed, but not all too surprised.“Yeah,” Eddie says. “Sorry.” “It’s because of Buck,” she says, barely a question. “Isn’t it?” “Um,” Eddie says, because he doesn’t really know how to answer that when Buck is flipping pancakes at the stove three feet away from him. in my eyes, my heart, my soul (Fluff | 2K | General): “We made you pancakes for Father’s Day,” Christopher says. Eddie watches the expressions that cross Buck’s face. Surprise, confusion, then a careful kind of joy like he’s beginning to put together exactly what Christopher means.  “For—for me?” Buck asks, so quiet Eddie barely hears it. “Yeah,” Christopher says. “I want you to be my other dad. If… if you want to be.”  the blues, and then purple-pink skies (Established Buddie, Secret Relationship | 8K | Teen): OR: three times Buck and Eddie (think they) manage to hide their relationship, and one time the truth comes out.

Stucky has Post-Winter Soldier recovery fics, Steddie has post-Upside Down recovery fics, and Buddie has Post-Shooting-Buck-moves-in-with-the-Diazes fic! 😆

this must be the place by euadnes/ @kananjarus

Canon Divergent, Post-Shooting | 75K | Teen

Every life altering event is often led up to with a series of other important events. In this case, there were at least three: An unstoppable fire. An afternoon spent underneath a blanket of California blue sky. But firstly, and maybe the most important of all: There was the impeccable aiming of an ex-sharpshooter. Or, the Buck is also shot by the sniper AU that no one asked for.

Benign Fatality by EtoileGarden/ @etoilegarden

Time Loop AU, Season 2-4 | 23K | Teen

Eddie noticed it like this; Sometimes, when Buck’s done a day too many times, he forgets that this day might be the real day, the one that continues on into the rest of his life. It’s exhausting dying and waking up just to go die again. And the thing was, when a death was to do with work, he knew he could just ask to be man behind, or not go into work, but - but who would he be condemning to die in his place if he didn’t go in and try to avoid it? Maybe no one, yes, but maybe someone. Buck repeats days until he doesn't die in them, has an underdeveloped sense of self worth, and Eddie is the one who wants to step in with him.

Amazing fic, such an interesting concept!!

i don't swim and you're not in love by hattalove/ @hattalove

S4, Post-Buck Begins | 32K | Teen

She turns to Eddie and says something else, but Buck is busy fighting the headrush he gets at the sound of Ana Flores calling Eddie and Christopher 'the boys'. Like they belong to her already. God, what’s wrong with him? What is this? or, eddie cooks, chris domesticates a slug, and buck tries to figure out why he hates his best friend's girlfriend. to everyone's immense shock and surprise, it goes badly.

A Classic by the always amazing hattalove!!

everything (nothing) has changed by bizarrestars

Post-S4, Love Confessions | 48K | Explicit

Buck breathes for a moment, then sets his shoulders. "Eddie, there's something I have to tell you." "Do you?" Eddie asks flatly, still alarmed and doing his best to hide it. "I would've never guessed." Buck swallows. "Eddie, I love you." "Are you softening the blow, or buttering me up? Because, I've got to tell you, I'm still very worried regardless," Eddie tells him. "No, you don't understand. I love you. I'm currently in love with you," Buck says as evenly as possible, and even then, his voice wobbles precariously there for a moment. He exhales. "You don't have to worry about it, though, because I've processed it and decided to—to find relief in telling you before moving on and moving forward." Eddie stares at him. No response at all. Well, at least he's not freaking out. Or: After Eddie gets shot, Buck confesses his love. From there, things get a little out of hand.

Literally only just read it but the idiocy in this is CHEF'S KISS 😘👌 (#eddie said: get over me??? youre gonnna get over ME??? dont think so, <- love this tag 😂)

Those Two Firefighters by DarkFairytale

S4 to S6, Social Media/Outsider POV | 64K | Teen

#thosetwofirefighters starts to gather a following on social media, as everyone tries to figure out if those two cute firefighters from the 118 in LA are a thing or not.

Just a fun crack-y "social media" fic with some outsider POV mixed in (plus some 911LS!)!

Stuck on Fast Forward (Throw Away the Blueprint) by extasiswings/ @extasiswings

Post-S5, Friends with Benefits | 42K | Explicit

“Sounds like the problem is you think casual sex with a stranger or finding someone new to date are your only options.” Eddie’s brow furrows. “Aren’t they?” “I mean, there’s always…someone you already know. Who you’re already comfortable with.” “Because my pool of male friends who are single and who would be interested in having sex with me has so many options?” “Well, I don’t know about many, but you only need one,” Buck points out. “And who would that be?” “Me, of course.” [Or: Frank gives Eddie therapy homework, Eddie misunderstands the assignment, and Buck is just a really supportive friend...right?]

Have some more FWB, as a treat 😌

Season 5

The Aftermath of Liberation and Love Confessions by ElvenSorceress/ @elvensorceress

Post S5E9: Past is Prologue, Coming Out, Getting Together | 17K | Teen

After a very long year of one terrible thing after another, Eddie has a brand new life strategy. It’s called not giving a shit. There’s the fire of a challenge in Buck’s eyes and a clench in the set of his jaw, and come on, it’s not as if Eddie forced Buck into dating the reporter. Not like he pays it any mind whatsoever. It was doomed from the start. She’s not good enough for him. She’s a terrible fit for him. Buck’s clearly been miserable for months. Still, Buck says, “Yeah, Eddie. Why don’t you teach us. What would you say if you were professing your love?” You mean something besides, “In the event of my untimely death, I made you legal guardian of my child”? In which Eddie comes out, sexuality is complicated but coffee is not, Buck makes an excessive salad and is also roasted, everyone has a love confession, and December is the most dramatic time of year.

Eddie not giving a shit is A Mood 👌 worth reading just for the scene from the summary 😆

Courtship Behaviors of the Southern Coastal Husbro by Mad_Lori/ @madlori

Post-S5, Queer Platonic Relationship, Getting Together | 49K | Explicit

“I want you in my family, I want us to be a family. Officially. A family can be a guy, his son, and his best friend, right?” Buck’s lower lip was trembling. “You’re really asking me to be your…what, now?” “Frank called it ‘platonic life partners.’” Buck looked stunned, and also…hopeful. “We could really do that?” - Buck and Eddie decide to become platonic domestic partners and co-parents. They are 100% super normal about it and absolutely nothing is awakened in them, except a mutual annoyance at being referred to as "husbros."

Love love love this series!!!

everything's coming up milhouse by hammersmiths/ @bucktommys

Post S5E10: Wrapped In Red, LAFD Liaison Eddie | 10K | Teen

LAFD Updates (@L*A*F*D_Metro) LAFD Alert: Red-level traffic on Gardiner Road this morning. If you are trying to get into the city centre consider taking Westerley Lane. buck 🔥🔥 (@firebuck) so true bestie or, Eddie mans the LAFD Twitter account. Buck tries to be supportive.

THE Twitter Eddie fic <3 just a funny social media fic but it's real cute!

let's hear it for the boy by hattalove/ @hattalove

Post-Season 5, Eddie Coming Out | 56K | Teen

in which eddie attends a self-empowerment group for gbtq men to supplement his therapy, and is empowered to: forgive himself, say "i'm gay" to his own reflection in the mirror, accidentally adopt an adult, make fried rice, and tell his straight best friend that he's in love with him. not necessarily in that order.

Such an amazing Eddie character study/coming out fic, so good <3

The Best Lie is a Truth (My Best Mask is My Face) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

Post-S5, Fake Relationship | 43K | Explicit

The Buckleys are celebrating their 50th Anniversary, and Maddie and Buck are both expected to come. To take the heat off Maddie, Buck impulsively blurts out that he's seeing someone new. Obviously, there's only one solution: bring Eddie as his fake boyfriend, pretend to be in love with him, and survive the weekend with minimal bloodshed. No problem, except for the, uh. "Pretend" part. Oops.

Excellent fake relationship fic!! it's got it all! Pining! Practice kissing! There was only one bed!!

Leave the Light On (I'll Be Coming Home) by HMSLusitania/ @hmslusitania 

Post-S5, Missing Presumed Dead, Amnesia | 44K | Mature

“We’re here for our grandson,” Helena says. “Chris is still sleeping,” Buck says. “I meant, we’re here to take him back to Texas,” Helena clarifies. “Yeah,” Buck says. He’s too tired, way too tired to be tactful. “Over my dead body.” An accident on a call leaves Buck with custody of Chris after Eddie is... missing presumed. While they navigate their new family circumstances -- and fight to stay together, despite Eddie's parents' best efforts -- a John Doe wakes up in a coma ward with no memory of his own life beyond the knowledge he has a son named Christopher and, somehow, he needs to get home.

The angst is SO GOOD!!!! A re-read favorite.

Plus or Minus by ElvenSorceress/ @elvensorceress

S5 | 10K | General

"Chris said you were crying. You came home, hugged him, and cried more than he’s ever seen.” Eddie considers for a moment but then shrugs and continues neatly stacking mugs in the cupboard. “It happens. Sometimes. I’ve been told I’m supposed to let it out instead of bottle it up. So. There you go.” “Why are you cleaning out the kitchen? Why is my stuff in boxes?” Eddie slows, then stops. “Figured you’d want it back.” It’s quieter. Pained. When he says it. “I haven’t decided anything. So unless you’re kicking me out—” “Buck. Come on.” He’s not angry or snapping. It’s still quiet, and somehow that hurts even more. He’s resigned and defeated, and Buck is a scooped out, gutted, hollow shell. “I know how this ends the same way you do. You want to be loved, you want to be married. You’re going to leave. Might as well…” His voice cracks before he can finish and get it under control. “Shouldn’t drag it out.” ~ Taylor is offered a job across the country and asks Buck to go with her. Buck has to figure out if he wants to start over or if he has a reason to stay right where he is.

The notes on my bookmark are: pining so good it gives you chest pains 🥺

Canon Divergent/AUs

Even in Winter There is Eranthis by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

Inspired by Hades&Persephone, Mythological AU | 45K | Explicit

Buck is supposedly a god. Supposedly. But he's got no idea what his domain is or what role he plays in Olympus. When he meets Christopher, a young boy lost and trying to find his father, he helps Chris get home - and ends up accidentally binding himself to the Underworld. Now bound to Eddie, the god of the dead, Buck must spend half the year with him in the Underworld while winter reigns above. But even as something grows between them, there are still trials to endure. Just because the gods are not mortal... does not mean they cannot die.

my words are paper tigers by hattalove/ @hattalove

Time Loop, Canon Divergent | 20K | Teen

He wakes up with Eddie's arm thrown over his waist. There's a pit in his stomach as soon as he opens his eyes, because the alarm is on again, the same radio station, the same song. The sunlight streaming into the room is buttery-soft, brand new because it's early. The alarm is ringing so they can take Chris to school. And— He reaches out for the bedside table on his side of the bed they share, clumsily unplugs his phone one-handed. The screen lights up to a familiar wallpaper, and it's right there, just above the top of Buck's head: Wednesday. or: buck breaks up with eddie, even if it means losing a part of himself, because it's the right thing to do. the universe decides to test that conviction.

I fucking love time loop fics!!! 👌

Hot Ghost Problems by ebjameston/ @ebjameston

Canon Divergent, S2, Ghost Buck, Witch Eddie | 41K | Teen

Eddie is the newest firefighter at the 118. Buck is the ghost haunting the 118. Unfortunately for both of them, Eddie's also a witch and needs to put Buck's spirit to rest, because that's what witches do. Turns out, Buck's spirit? Super not interested in being put to rest. Very interested, however, in flirting with Firefighter Diaz, who is just trying to survive his candidate year. (Also turns out, Buck? Super not dead.)

I know you love witchy vibes and I really enjoyed this one! There's also a great podfic if you like that.

[cripplecharacters]

Hi! I'm looking into writing a character with Treacher Collins syndrome in a fantasy world. Most modern accounts of the syndrome I can find often talk about extensive reconstructive surgery, but that kind of intervention isn't possible in this fantasy world. Do you have any resources on life without Treacher Collins without surgery?

Hi!

A lot of the necessity of reconstructive surgery depends on the severity of the symptoms. So for example, if your character had their bones underdeveloped to the point of breathing problems, they would kinda need something to help with it (unless something as simple as a tracheostomy would be feasible in your setting, it's an incredibly old procedure). But if they're on the milder end of the spectrum, they could go without surgery at all. Sometimes TCS could mean the facial structure being underdeveloped, but not enough to cause major problems; this article on TCS mentions that there are parents who literally don't know they have it until they have a child born with it as well. So that happens too, sometimes it's just brushed off as Looking Different without any kind of diagnosis being made because there aren't any problems.

Here's one account of a man with TCS who was born in the 30s and didn't have any surgery until he was ten (and to my understanding, it was only for cleft palate - something not all people with TCS have), warning for the r-slur being used in a quote and the kind of ableism you might expect from the timeframe. (I think it's also a nice remainder that there were always families with disabled kids who were inventing solutions to help them, even almost a century ago:) )

I would try to figure out first what symptoms your character specifically has, you can always just pick ones that would be more survivable in a less medically advanced setting. Many people will have issues with feeding or breathing, but not all will; your character could be one of the latter - or you could have a Fantasy Nutrition Tube and/or the truly ancient tracheostomy I mentioned. When you see the "and then the person gets [something that doesn't exist in your setting]" try to be creative and think what would otherwise happen - the eyelid problems that lead to infections, maybe your character could not experience them, or maybe they would be visually impaired from having them; maybe if there's no hearing aids then their community would have to learn sign to communicate with them, etc.!

I hope this helps! I really appreciate the thought of including a character with TCS in the type of settings where many writers would just go "nahh they wouldn't survive it". It's nice to see :-)

mod Sasza

[noosayog]

[IT'S ALWAYS BEEN YOU] - ft. knight! iwaizumi hajime

warnings/content: princess! reader x knight/personal guard! iwa. fluff mostly, minimal angst in this chapter. unlike my other series, this will consist of longer parts, but less total parts. she's finally here and I'm excited to share! let me know what y'all think and thoughts on perhaps a taglist?

wc: 1.1k

part 1. directory here.

--

In the kingdom of Aoba Johsai, you live a relatively peaceful life with your brother, the crown prince, and his closest brigade of knights who all attended the Academy together. With Toru being the heir to the crown, your parents have always been lax in their supervision of you. That gave you free reign to spend your days lazing off with your brother’s goofy friends, Sir Matsukawa and Sir Hanamaki. Any time spent with them inevitably leads to trouble and while your parents are lenient, they are equally quick to remind you to exercise the prudence a princess would. To keep the mischief in your daily activities in check, they assigned their most trusted knight and Toru’s best friend, Sir Iwaizumi Hajime as your personal knight.

Hajime’s job almost entirely consisted of tagging along on your excursions with Mattsun and Makki to ensure that you were kept out of trouble, at least reasonably so. You parents seem to think he does a good job because this has been his job since your debut more than a decade ago. 

When you were little, you minded Hajime’s presence a lot. You only knew the same couple of phrases that would come out of his mouth. “Princess, you cannot,” “Princess, exercise prudence,” or even more often, a simple “no.” He was a terrible nag and forced you to eat your vegetables. 

It was a couple of months into his new role as your glorified babysitter, when you were just 12 years of age, that you had found yourself dangling off the ledge of your balcony with only your 10 stubby, underdeveloped fingers gripping the iron fencing keeping you from cracking your head open on the pavement below. Too embarrassed to call for help, you silently kept your grip on the fencing, desperately looking around for a decent exit path. Ironically, it had been this moment of danger that Hajime, who never leaves your side, was nowhere to be found. With a mule-headedness becoming of a 12 year old rebellious princess, you were actually grateful that your nagging, austere, and unsmiling guard was not here to scold you. 

But there was a limit to how long your little fingers could hold your weight so as they began to slip, your panic had set in. That was when Hajime had bursted out to the balcony above to find your entire body dangling from the ledge. 

Cursing, he had sprung into action, throwing his entire body off the balcony and plunging down to the ground below. You had yelped in surprise when the wind from his falling body swooshed past you, unable to twist your head enough to see if he had landed safely. 

But you had heard him. 

“Let go, princess.” 

You had shook your head frantically. 

You still remember the reassuring, gentle timbre of his low voice when he had reassured you he would be there. “I’ll catch you, princess. You have nothing to worry about.” 

With no other options, you had let go as he had commanded. Midair, you had braced for impact but when you landed gracefully into Hajime’s sturdy arms, eyes wide, Hajime’s existence inside your heart had morphed into something completely different than it was before. 

After allowing yourself a moment to catch your breath, you had scrambled to get out of his arms to brace yourself for the lecture that was sure to come. But Hajime had kept you in his arms, tightening his hold and walking you all the way back up to your room without a word. 

You remember him gently laying you in your bed and patiently leaning over you as your arms had refused to unwind around his neck, not even realizing when you had begun to cry into his shoulder. When you had finally calmed down, he gently pried your arms from the back of his neck and softly rubbed an icepack on your skinned palms and red fingers. As you fell asleep to his ministrations, you remember knowing that you wanted to marry this man. It was at the wee age of eleven that you had fallen in love with your personal knight. 

~•~ 

Now, at the respectable age of twenty-two and having completed your etiquette and political studies, you were still very much in love with Hajime. And while he has never explicitly expressed his feelings, you were quite sure that your feelings were reciprocated. Though he is the perfect picture of a dutiful knight within the walls of the castle, outside, he is kind, easy-going and relaxed. With the years, Hajime had begun to mellow, his once strict and short leash on you gradually melting away to keeping you just within his field of vision when outside the castle walls. When on your day trips with Mattsun and Makki, he would goodnaturedly tag along, being very subtle in the fact that he was obligated to follow you and instead being more deliberate in showing that he enjoyed spending time with you. 

His expressions would soften more easily, more often. He was unabashed about smiling, teasing, and even outright belly laughing outside of the confines of the castle. His tenderness when touching you, when you cut yourself along the bushes or bruised a knee from running in the underbrush of the forest, was bright and unapologetic. Even the jeers of Mattsun and Makki would not faze him. Outside the castle, he was not only your knight and guard, he was your friend and a-little-less-than-lover. 

With this, despite the occasional obligations to attend balls, greet foreign emissaries, and routine paperwork that comes with leading a kingdom, your days are spent in mundane bliss. With a very capable brother dutifully learning his role at the helm of the country and your parents very much occupied teaching him, you were allowed respite in frolicking with the knights when they were off-duty. Even Hajime would sporadically partake in pranking the old, greedy nobles when they visited the castle and dip in the rivers in the forest behind the estate. 

You have never questioned whether or not it was customary for someone of your royal bloodline and age to not be pushed for political marriage. Your parents had never even discussed the topic, not even for Toru as far as you are aware. Thus, while you were grateful, you took that for granted. 

That is why when your parents summon you, on the eve before your 23rd birthday ball, you waltz into the throne room, merry and bright from your day’s escapades with Hajime, blissfully ignorant of their intentions. You are caught by dreadful surprise of the announcement of your future engagement.

[outletcrash]

My poison ivy! I'm extremely proud of this. backstory under the cut :)

its been in the back of my head that ivy is indian since forever. i literally have no clue why its just There. she's tamil specifically, because i have favoritism regarding the script its written with.. it tickles my brain...

anyways heres my Poison Ivy: Origins comic i made last night in like 3 hours.

(theres a section here on her early life and the backstory of her parents that im still workshopping. basically she was a bastard child that only her mom supported and they left for gotham)

Bhavani got a job as an accountant for a law firm on recommendation from an uncle who had a company that worked in Gotham (he was kinder to the pair). She was always gifted in math. Bhavani raised her daughter the best way she knew how, even without the support of her family. 

Pamela (now nicknamed Ivy due to multiple kids misreading her last name as Ivy. And she was very nature-focused even as a kid, digging in the dirt and identifying different kinds of trees using books she got at the Gotham Library with her mother) excelled in school, surpassing most of her peers. The pursuit of knowledge was the one thing she enjoyed. Her classmates were sticky and loud and irritating, and when she wasn’t ignoring them she was tying their shoelaces together as revenge for talking too loud during quiet time. She managed to make just enough casual friends to not worry her mother too deeply, but this was the start of a downward spiral.

She lost friends, and not many could take on the effort of befriending her. She lost herself in biology, the study of life. Especially plants and conservation. Plants were just so… simple, compared to human society. But their structures and functions and genetics were fascinating. She skipped grades to take higher-level classes on genetics. Her grades were phenomenal but her social skills were extremely underdeveloped. Not like Ivy cared. Humans were a plague on this earth, pumping the atmosphere with CO2 and poisoning rivers and cutting down forests. In her mind, they did nothing but harm the serenity of nature she so cherished. 

After graduating with a PHD and doctorate, she got a job as a genetic engineer. She studied alternative ways to help regrow ecosystems after deforestation. Her Gotham University coworkers were wary around Ivy. She was a woman none of them knew anything about, who would say ecoterrorist-aligned comments offhandedly the few times she ever spoke. 

Ivy was working on a genetically engineered plant on the day of the accident. It was designed to nurture plant species by sending chemical signals, and it took in energy through waste products left by deforestation and manufacturing. At least, in theory. 

Ivy was working all alone in the lab at 2am. She hadn’t slept for hours, she was so close to her breakthrough. She was so close to making those billionaire bastards pay for what they did to the earth. She wasn’t wearing proper safety equipment nor using proper containment procedures during the incident. And as such, she was infected. The plant didn’t just take in waste material, it took in living flesh. Ivy’s cells were transformed in a gruesome fashion, her entire genetic code was re-written as it spread through her body. Her skin was green and her lab coat was bloody. Her newly-red hair flowed behind her as she escaped the lab, running through university grounds. Each footstep brought grass and dandelions cracking through the concrete in full bloom. Trees and grass grew to get closer to her, reaching for her. 

Ivys powers were completely out of control. She was crying and hyperventilating as her mind was warped. It had given her a need for flesh. When she made it to Robinson park, she couldn’t overcome the primal instinct. Plants still crawling at her ankles, and she killed a squirrel with her bare hands and ate it raw. This only fueled her fractured mind to want more. Ivy's first ever murder was a pedestrian, who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. He tried to flee when he saw a bloody green woman with a squirrel carcass in her mouth, but it was to no avail. He was strangled to death with poison ivy vines, and eaten. 

Finally, the primal instinct was satiated. Ivy escaped to a warehouse in the industrial district of Old Gotham. She tended to her injuries as best she could, soon discovering she had healing abilities. The injuries from her being torn apart had already mostly healed. She slept on an old couch, dreaming about what she could use these powers for. 

When the news broke on the mysterious and grisly death of a random pedestrian, the media was all over it. Since he was killed by poison ivy, and from security footage the culprit was seemingly a woman, the media dubbed her Poison Ivy. Many believed it wasn’t possible, and that the footage was faked, but the GCPD was stumped. 

Batman looked through the footage and, by process of elimination (matching the appearances of the scientists who had access to the laboratory, keycard scanners throughout that day and evening, as well as their known affiliations and potential criminal history. Two of them did deal weed but it was nonviolent and they didn’t match the woman in the tapes.) 

Dr. Pamela Iyer was the clear suspect. She matched the woman's appearance (besides the green skin and hair, she was a tall woman with long straight hair and a flat nose.) Batman interviewed her coworkers and found she had a history of being antisocial with eco terrorist beliefs. None of them knew where she lived, however. And when the bat interviewed her mother (the only person her coworkers had ever heard her speak to in a positive light) she was very concerned. Suspicious of Batman, clearly, but worried for her precious daughter's well being. She said that Pamela had always loved being near nature, and that she didn’t care for the quality of structure she had to stay in. But other than that, her mother couldn't help. She does bring out the intimidating motherly stare at Batman, making him promise to bring her daughter home safely. 

From here, Batman goes on a search. He prowls rooftops and streets and uses the grappling hook for fast travel. All while monitoring city-wide security cameras (thanks Alfred!) and paying attention to police radio. He stops muggings and thefts and helps get a cat out of a tree as he scans Old Gotham. 

He came to the conclusion Poison Ivy must be in Old Gotham due to damage on the Robinson Park Bridge, connecting Somerset with the southern island. The damage matched with what had been seen on the sidewalks and streets near the University and the scene of the crime. Dandelions and crabgrass taking the shape of human footprints, cracking through concrete. Batman notices some trees down a certain alleyway in the east streets are warped inwards. Very similar to the trees in the park and university. He follows the unusual growth pattern of the trees, like they were hands outstretching to reach a light source. 

There, he finds an old warehouse. He scales the building with a grappling hook, not wanting to be ambushed on the lower levels if he enters on the boarded up front door.  Entering through an old broken skylight, he finds what must've been a long abandoned drug dealer hideout covered in fresh blood. Very, very carefully, he examines the scene. But there's nobody there. She just got away, her blood on the rotting old sofa is still warm. He also notes three strands of long red hair, which he places in crime scene baggies for DNA analysis. 

His current theory is that the doctor was mutated by her own research. He read her notes and the plant she was experimenting with was extremely dangerous. And the security footage (before it cut out during what he believes was the time of the accident) showed her using improper safety equipment. 

He’s on patrol for hours, but can’t find any sign of her. 

That night, Bruce synthesizes a pesticide-like chemical that could prevent Ivy's powers. However, he talks to Alfred about how the plant would adapt to it almost like a bacteria, and that it might not be effective more than once. 

The next morning Bruce Wayne is scheduled for a charity event. Many rich people are there tied to a business venture Wayne was not aware of. The event was for funding for healthcare systems in Gotham. Little does he know, this is the exact place Ivy plans to attack. She’s hated the rich for years and many politicians and businessmen that support an amazon rainforest deforestation project are there. 

She interrupts their little charity event at a historical building in the financial district of old gotham with a surprise. Ivy broke into one of her old greenhouses at the university, taking small samples of extremely poisonous amazon rainforest plants with her. This happened quickly and silently while Bruce was still at the function. 

Ivy crashed through the large art-nouveau stained glass windows, supported by giant vines. She is lifted down the staircase like she was floating, more vines and deadly plants crawling in from the giant hole in the glass, moonlight from the full moon peeking through the clouds and illuminating her entrance. London Planetrees from around the building grow in front of doors, sealing all the possible exits. 

All of the rich and fancy people in dresses and suits meandering around the building are screaming and trying to run, which is when a mad-with-power Ivy releases her plants. 

They grow to gargantuan sizes in moments, releasing toxic spores and fumes and burning people's skin. Ivy finds the most heinous offenders of the rainforest bill and feeds them deadly plants by hand, graphic symptoms ensue. 

In the pandemonium, Bruce pulls out some tree facts about the flammability of a certain species, managing to throw a fire source directly at it as a diversion before escaping through a vent in the opposite wing of the hall. Alfred is already outside with the Batsuit, he brought it as soon as he learned of the attack. 

Bruce suits up and re-enters. It's a grueling and difficult battle, the most difficult he has fought so far. He manages to spray Ivy with the chemical, and she goes down, all the plants in the hall going still. The excessive toxic fumes suddenly go back to normal levels. Bruce uses an extremely strong tranquilizer on her, she’s still fighting to get up. Finally, Ivy is defeated.

Almost the whole charity gathering was injured in the attack with seven people dead and immense damage done to the structure of the historical hall. 

Ivy’s powers are sedated and she’s taken into police custody, where she is deemed insane. Half of the insanity conviction was her actual insanity and the other half was that Arkham is the only facility capable of holding her, especially since it’s located on an island. Batman agrees with Jim Gordon on this comment. 

Ivy didn’t say anything during her trial, silently glaring with little remorse. The physician diagnosed her with ASPD (which wasn’t right but it's on her legal documents.)

The comic ends with Ivy in Arkham, talking about the rich swine tearing apart the world, and how she finally has the power to stop them. How she can feel the mutation inside of her slowly winning against the sedative drugs, adapting and consuming the chemical to turn it into energy as it was designed to do. How she will return the world to ecologic harmony, with her own hands. It ends with her in the Arkham cafeteria, staring at a mysterious blonde prisoner a few tables across…

the writing isn't like, a fanfiction. its a guideline for a comic in a series of origins comics im planning. do not get your hopes up these'll be done in like, 10-20 years at my current speed. i have a scarecrow and riddler outline in the works, and plans for a batman, joker, harley quinn and probably a penguin comic eventually. and more villians. once i'm done with all the origins comics i'll be doing like, a regular batman series. just for fun yknow.

[lilyginnyblackv2]

Just some thoughts on the new Steam trailers and promo stuff.

I just watched the Steam trailer announcement for the KH series...and they made it really het/S*kai focused. It's very gen/friendship focused as well, but they seriously somehow were even able to make the DDD section of the trailer very not gay and just very gen/friendship based.

Here is the Steam Announcement Video:

The two short KH is on Steam trailers on Utada's YT page are more for promoting the re-recordings of Hikari and Simple & Clean, but they are fairly het/S*kai and general friendship focused as well. Though, Hikari's promo works better with they lyrics, timing, and lyrical meanings than Simple & Clean.

(More under the Read More due to length).

Here are the two promos to compare. First, Hikari:

In this version we have the lyrics break down like this:

どんな時だって (donna toki datte) - No matter when it is

From KH1 Sora to Sora in Castle Oblivion, just before battling Marluxia (who's in the background) from the KH2 OP

ずっと二人で (zutto futari de) - We'll always be together

From Axel in the DDD OP to the Time Station shattering around Ven from the BBS OP

どんな時だって (donna toki datte) - No matter when it is

From Aqua holding a frozen Ven and looking up at the blue "Kingdom Heart" in the sky (BBS OP) to the Back Cover stuff

側にいるから (soba in iru kara) - I'll always be by your side

From YX looking at the night sky out the window (KH3 OP) to Sora & Kairi sitting together from the KH3 ending

君という光が (kimi to iu hikari ga...) - The light known as "you"....

This last bit starts as the titles that are going to be released on Steam start to appear on the screen (there are spinning heart shapes that appear over the image, and those turn into the titles), which turns to a plain black screen and info on the release dates, games, etc.

The Simple & Clean take on this promo is definitely a bit more awkward timing and lyrics-wise. It doesn't work as well, though, both promos don't really highlight the bond between Sora and Riku like at all, but highlight the bond between Sora and Kairi, along with just gen friendships in general (which I like and don't mind).

Here is the Simple & Clean Re-recording + Steam promo:

I don't know. Obviously, they are focusing on the whole series as a whole, which makes sense and the more gen focused stuff for nearly all the characters makes sense and I like and appreciate that. But, it just feels weird to see/have so little of Riku and have the video end with the S*kai stuff, since that relationship is just so underexplored, underdeveloped, and often times just straight up ignored in a lot of the games/Sora's overall journey.

Also, while I'm a fan of Soriku, I don't really care for a number of the big theories out there that exist (some of which, like the whole aitsu thing, has been debunked, and I just find the whole "Sora forgot about Riku" theory to be a theory more so created to cope with the reality that the series is trying to push S*kai more now...even if there are a lot of issues with that from a writing perspective). IDK, but when I see stuff like this...when I played KH3...they all just kind of worked as reminders to keep my expectations in check. I might just be too burned by past media experiences, but a large part of me still believes that the closest we might ever get to canon Soriku is a realization and confirmation on Riku's part that he loves Sora, but S*kai still ends up happening because of "I want my lover to be happy" type trope stuff.

At the very least, I'm happy that we got largely gen and friendship based trailers and promos with all of this, instead of all of the imagery being like "potential het couples" type stuff, lol. But yeah, this is probably an overreaction, but KH3 is a game that really killed my love for the franchise and makes me very hesitant, skeptical, and cynical of KH4 along with the franchise going forward in general. So these promos just don't help at all with that.

[pumpkinstrawbrew]

🆃🅷🅴 🆆🅸⨢.🅲🅷🅸🅽🅶 🅷△🆄🆁.

>>> the grim adventures of jon n' jack. feat batman n' spiderman. <<<

...

it was only a matter of time, before i would have made another crossover with those two. i can't deny, that they are very 1:1 for me, when it comes to comics supervillains. so why not to mix one awesome n' beloved thing with another? esp since funny enough, they do have quite a few similar plot-points. well, the halloween themed costume aside. i mean it goes as far as jack once having the bat-themed boyfriend pal, which reminds me of someone else, i know.

anyho'...

i've tried to make my notes more or less readable here, but they still might be a bit scattered. i attempted to keep them as short as possible, but i just cannot talk 'small'.

1. the first art is low-key based on underdeveloped AU, that i have about the early comic scarecrow n' modern jack meeting n' hitting it off serial killiar style. considering, that both of them possess killing methods, which have a noticable tradmark to it, i imagine that they will leave one hell of a mess behind, while traveling across the country. in that timeline, batman is dead. n' jack's shitty foster dad was killed off earlier on. neither of them knows what to do with themselves, since the people who they had *twisted* emotional conection with are gone. without any direction, they meet in the middle, n' decide that they can as well team-up n' try to make being a villain fun again. jon might experiment on their victims *or torture them if its his ex bullies* n' then give them to jack, who would scoop their brains out and put candle inside their skull. n' uh yeah, he literally did it in the comic. i was honestly surpised that marvel come up with smth that creepy. it really sounds more alined with dc, if anything. but either way, here they are. two *grieving* psychos going downtown. they will make one another so much worse, i imagine. n' they will totally kill that npc dude btw.

2. dark magic n' the drip. or jon n' jack at their corniest. like, jonathan looks like he watched too much the nightmare before christmas n' jack dress up like count dracula for no reason. it's so random-ish n' cheesy. but with this being said, i love both of those designs, n' think, that they really suit the vibe of comic issues in which they were featured. jack always came off as a he-witch to me, but it was nice to see it being played on in a different way. n' then, crane really rocks his own outfit as well. i totally need to draw him in it more often, haha. they dress up for a halloween party for real this time. n' well, i added batman n' spiderman into the mix here, bc i kinda wish that they got to fight / interact with those versions of jon n' jack. it would have been fun for a few reasons. also this can be technically counted as shipping art, but can be viewed as your typical gloating bad guy n' helpless hero thing too. n' to clear any possible questions, i only create stuff with adult peter parker. like cartoon era/late early comics, 20 smth one. i love my spiderman being of age, where he can legally mingle with his villains, not be detained at school lol.

3. the classic four from the timeline, when the comic plots were a bit more ligthearted. aka during the times, when the deadly mercenary n' crazy scientist were robbing banks, instead of harming *torturing* people. i love dark stuff, but there is charm to how 'simple' the scarecrow's and jack's goals once were. n' i love how the scarecrow used to do the lil, dorky dances. it really suits him. n' since at least 2 or maybe, most of jack o' lanterns are southernish in their roots like jon, i had an idea of them having a country dance *in the middle of graveyard* kinda just makes sense to me, haha. batman and spiderman merely happen to find them like that. n' well, it's kinda awkward. esp bc they technically don't do anything bad. i also imagine spiderman being like 'oh, so you have one of those too'. which is mostly a ref to how both the scarecrow n' jack were called 'the reject from land of oz' by other characters. they can rejoice here.

4. the develish & undead duo!! my friend once told me to try n' watch older superhero cartoons, and at first i was like 'welp, they prob be hella boring'. but then i caved in, n' watched a couple of superfriends episodes. as result, i fell in love with their scarecrow's desingh! it was unexpected tbh. usually, i prefer jon's older, classic scarecrow look. so no straw hair, less features exposed, just a hat n' a sack on his head, but their version of him actually did it for me. i find their crane both creepy n' cute. n' i also read on wiki, that he might be undead. so that bit interested me as well. non-human jonathan crane, what a concept! him returning from the grave just to be a menace to batman. n' to accompany him, there is an undead jack o' lantern from the ghost rider comic. his corpse literally got possessed by satan. anyways, both of them raised army of zombies. both of them undead n' prob won't ever get out of their spooky suits, since i don't think that they can. n' funny enough, jack's hometown was called sleepy hollows, if i remember correctly. so they can haunt people there, make it into a truly cursed land.

5. the last one was kinda spontaneous on my part. the other day, i was looking at what kind of action figures the scarecrow n' jack have. saw one, where jon was looking kinda strange, all black n' yellow. which is how i find out that he *apparently* got yellow lantern powers in newer comics, even if it was like for 10 seconds or smth. i didn't read the issue itself, but i found the idea kinda fun, n' his design was decent enough for me to get interested n' wonder what i can do with it. then, a bit later, i saw that jack had a venom-funko figure. i don't think, that he was ever canonically venomized in any of the actual comic issues, but once again, the mere idea of it happening was enough for me to consider doing smth with it. i mean, a venom-like tongue, but its made out of fire? dang. that's kinda cool. so yeah. the yellow lantern scarecrow n' symbiote jack o' lantern being the double trouble. if they weren't enough of a mean goblin-man before, now they surely will be.