#they were like … has nina been giving him lessons

[jeremysknoxes]

I love how in Crooked Kingdom you get so scared when Wylan pretends to “break” and then the next few chapter it’s like the crows trying not to laugh and talking about how dramatic his acting is

[halemerry]

Okay so I wanna take a moment to talk about gravity. Now I know what this sounds like, but bare with me here I promise I'm not looking to do a physics lecture. But I've been rotating this around in my head for a couple days now and I think there's something really critical in the way the show presents it to us.

For example: it's one of the few things actually listed in our introduction to this show individually while our protagonists build the universe, right between matter and everything else.

The show draws our attention to it here fairly bluntly by naming it but there are other incidents that, while I would not call them subtle, are not quite as on the nose.

There are at least three times Crowley chucks something he's holding in his hands across the room. They're played for comedic bits but they all feel very weird and pointed to me - especially both times he does this to books that he seems to have no purpose for holding other than to chuck them later. It caught my attention mostly because everything in me recoiled at the idea of him doing that, but the more I thought about the way they're so visible and pointed was important. They almost feel like weird hiccups in the scene they're in.

We also get gravity as an implied threat with Gabriel climbing out the window and, of course, with every mention of a Fall. But there's also more mundane uses of gravity in the season that while not odd in isolation, the fact we get it popping up so notably is interesting to me. There's also the scene with Nina and Maggie under the awning where rainwater's weight gets pulled down by gravity, the scene in 1941 where Aziraphale drops the picture of them onto the floor before they have their gray area talk, Gabriel dropping the matchbox, and I'm sure there's more. The point is the show is littered with reminders that gravity exists.

Now I know what this sounds like. I know it seems like yeah. Duh. They're on earth. Which has gravity. Of course gravity is a factor in nearly every physical action they do. Why are you even talking about this at all?

Well, it's because of a scene that is one of my absolute favorites in the whole season: the Gravity Lesson.

The scene opens with Jim throwing a book (My Best Games of Chess, an interesting title that feels pointed) repetitively at a desk. He's testing gravity himself, looking confused.

Crowley then descends from the upper level, carrying a stack of books. He pauses his descent on the spiral staircase and notes what Jim is doing.

Then we get this shot. Notice the light here. Jim is in the light from the windows but relatively in the middle of the shot. He's an angel still, though not nearly as in the Light as he was as Gabriel. And he's notably at ground level, on earth. Meanwhile Crowley blends into the shadows of the shop itself. He continues down the staircase, sauntering vaguely downward, until he finally hits earth level to be even with Jim. There's symbolism here, in the lighting, in the way they move through these frames, in the way the staircase spirals like an orbit.

Crowley continues this same sweeping circular pattern to come around the bookshop and place him in front of Jim. Unable to resist a question, even one that wasn't asked out loud, Crowley tells him about gravity. He moves center toward Jim here. A meeting in the middle. This is the first scene we see Crowley interact with Jim in a way anything near amicable. He explains how gravity works. "It's, um... A thing that happens when objects are pulled together. In this case, they're all pulled downwards because Earth is the largest thing around."

As he speaks, Crowley moves away from Jim, toward the back of the bookshop. But he stops very rapidly because Jim goes and asks him why. Crowley frowns to himself. He says he can't remember. He says it seemed like a good idea when they were all talking about it.

He walks back to Jim, giving this question some real thought, and settles on, "So things would stay where you put them, not just drift off." And Jim, backlit by the windows still, kind of frowns and drops the book again and points out. "But it doesn't stay where I put them. It goes down."

When the book hits the table it also visibly does not land precisely over where Jim dropped it either. It settles out of place, bouncing slightly from the force of it. This is what drew my attention to this scene more than anything else.

Because it's interesting isn't it? They're both right in their assessment here. And so much of this story is about people not fitting quite where they're dropped. Aziraphale and Crowley are both caught in Earth's gravity, jostled out of their respective places. The very first shot in the intro sequence emphasizes this idea. Crowley and Aziraphale meet in the middle on earth (where Crowley then says let there be light and lights a flame to guide them going forward).

Gabriel and Beez too fall out of line as soon as they get caught in Earth's gravity. Memories are deleted, but can't entirely escape the gravity of their old home. Memories are added, but you can't predict exactly the way they'll form. Miracles backfire and don't land quite as they're expected. We obey Heaven or Hell as far as we can, but not necessarily exactly as they'd like. These shifts eventually become predictable and eventually we learn we can calculate the odds of how gravity can impact something, but as Jim shows us here a little bit of the drift still happens. In the end it's all just firing bullets at ears and pretend to catch them in our teeth.

And there's viewing this line of thinking from the perspective of God. God who functionally dropped the universe into the gravity of Fate and Choice just to see where it would land.

And then there's the Fly.

As Jim points out here, some things actively resist gravity, at least temporarily. Flies go up. This is very fun, given Beelzebub's arc this season, but I think it's getting at more than just that. Crowley and Jim both pause to watch the fly rise upward, drifting away from Jim and toward the dark half of the shop. Crowley says Jim makes a good point and then shifts into "Right, the plan, Operation: Lovebird."

Given the plot of season 1, I find the use of the word plan here pretty interesting. Especially given that the event that follows this is Crowley trying and failing to get Nina and Maggie to recreate his own meet cute. Like the idea of these two being drawn together will fix everything.

And that got me thinking about Crowley's line at the end of season 1. About what if God planned it that way. What if they're God's own Operation Lovebird. We know that together they can do very powerful things. This whole season starts with them, while trying to keep their power under control and contained, do a miracle so big it could've brought someone back from the dead nearly 25 times. Last season ends with Heaven and Hell thinking they've become something impossible. The Metatron here goes out of his way to separate the two of them like he's afraid of what they're capable of together. And he seems to have successfully managed to do this.

But a Fly can't stay in the air forever. The Fly is always drawn back to Jim. Because not all gravity is about Earth itself. The same way Gabriel's memories are drawn back to him. The same way Beelzebub and Gabriel are drawn to each other in the first place. The same way Aziraphale and Crowley have been described time and time again as drawn in by each other. They're Alpha Centauri. Twin stars orbiting each other. They're constantly going in circles around each other. It's a dance. With the hands touching in the middle. Because that is a gravity too. They complete each other the same way the Fly completes Jim.

So what about choice? Think about the Ball episode. Think about how everyone in the shop is being influenced by some sort of miracle. Their clothes and behavior shift and change and Nina in particular shows us that this is Noticeable. Forcing something in a gravity it doesn't like or want makes it have a hard time settling. It doesn't go quite where you drop it.

And then there's the chat Nina and Maggie have with Crowley. "We're not a game. We're real people," says Maggie. And Crowley tries to argue this saying that they both needed help and they both push back that it is still not his right to meddle with. A game. Like the title My Best Games of Chess. Like the thing we know God has been using as a framing device since season 1. A thing the narrative always has pushed as a bad thing.

Maggie and Nina are choosing to not let beings above them influence their choices. They actively resist being compelled by Aziraphale in the bookshop together because they know what's right. His gravity is not enough to overwhelm their choices. And at the end maybe they're not together but they're working on it. And, maybe, if they do come back together (when they do, according to Maggie) it will be when they are ready and when they are choosing each their free of the constraints of the game or higher power. And that gives me hope that's where we're headed for the Ineffables as well.

[tumbleweedtech]

okay happy to give a prompt because I need alerudy like I need air they are so underwritten. I’m too Latino and too gay to not need them. Beware because it’s fluffy.

Dance lessons! I headcanon Alejandro as coming from a big family where Rudy might have only had one or no siblings, and you might think that means Ale had more opportunity to dance, that would be wrong. Alejandro got lost in the mix of family and by the time he’s like 15 he 1) can’t dance a basic cumbia because everyone figured he’d just pick it up and 2) is old enough that being bad at dancing is embarrassing rather than endearing. Rudy, by contrast, has been his single mom’s dance partner for years, right up until she got re-married (and he danced his ass off at the wedding too).

So Ale sucks it up and asks Rudy to teach him how to dance because it’s quinceañera season and he can’t go another year claiming he twisted his ankle. So the lessons begin. In secret, late at night on top of a roof near the bar district, where they can hear the music from below. Where no one can see two boys dancing. Rudy has him start by following, then by leading, and then they switch off. Dealer’s choice whether Rudy is dying inside because he’s wanted to dance with Ale for years, or if this is a Gay Awakening, but either way. They’re feeling Something.

I have no idea where this ends which is why I’m giving up custody to you!

how could you possibly know i am currently writing a cumbia fic with alerudy

how. *How*, Nonny? Alright. *cracks knuckles* Let's have at'er. (note: I'm going with Alejandro's mom is Rudy's madrino, and vice versa. Because idk about you, but my nina was treated like my second mother, no questions or argument allowed.) No CWs, just fluff of teenage boys with crushes dancing.

~~

"Alejandro."

"Rodolfo."  

Rudy rolls his eyes at the way Alejo parrots back, defensive. "Si se puede, Alejo."

Alejandro's refusing to look at him, frowning deeply, and it's heartbreaking how beautiful he is even now, gripping his own elbows, hair hanging in his eyes.

It was Alejo's tío who originally showed the boys this spot. The bright lights of the mercado cast its long flat roof into shadow; the strangely blinking red lights on its sign left it feeling private and alone. It hadn't been what Rudy had been looking for at the time. He'd heard there would be a meteor shower, and his mama was working that night. He knew Alejandro would go with him, he just had to find a place dark enough to see the stars.

They never did see the stars falling, but Alejandro held his hand as they watched the grey clouds cover a red-tinted sky and that was enough.

Tonight? The sky was clear and they could hear the distant but cheerful beat of the bar in the alley below. Rudy hoped it'd be loud enough to dance to.

Alejandro never liked failing, grouchy and embarrassed even as Rudy tried to model the steps.

"Alejandro, ven. Por favor. ¿Bailar conmigo?"

Rudy held a hand out, waiting. It was rare that Alejandro would deny him anything he wanted, a fact his mother had pointed out to him with a sly smile. He'd asked her once why she never went out dancing. She had cupped his cheeks and squeezed. "Mijo, there is nothing better than dancing with someone you love with your entire heart. Dancing in a club? You can go with your friends and have fun. Take Alejito, he needs the fun. But I am happy, here, dancing with you."

He was tall enough now that it was easier for him to lead when dancing with her, but she'd taught him both skills. “You never know who you will want to dance with”, she'd insisted.

He was pretty sure she knew who he wanted to dance with.

And that person didn't want to dance with him.

Rudy sighed. "If you want, Tía Lucía is probably still awake. I can—"

With an angry snarl, Alejandro stomped over, holding his arms out stiffly. He still refused to look directly at Rudy now that they were standing so close together under the aging neon sign. Rudy couldn't help but feel a whisper of hope that the tint of red across Alejandro's face was the blush his mama swore was there when he wasn't looking.

"I'm not asking Tía Lucía to teach me to dance for her own daughter's quinceañera. She'll know why I didn't dance at Letty's."

"Okay. You sure you're not going to punch me? It's easier to learn the steps at first if you follow."

Alejandro's shoulders dropped, the frustration leaching out of him with a heavy sigh. He looked around again, taking in the soft echo of the music from below, the flickering light, and gestured for Rudy to come closer. "Not going to punch you. Not your fault, I—"

Whatever he was going to say was startled out of him as Rudy took his hand to pull him close, the other hand on his waist. "Relax."

Rudy shifted him gently, and Alejandro panicked, tightly gripping his shoulder, glancing down at their feet.

"Don't look. Just trust me, okay? Count with me."

Rudy counted a quiet beat, letting Alejandro slowly relax into the rhythm. He was good at it, once he relaxed. Rudy encouraged him around, into a small circle, before the song changed again, a bouncy, cheerful song that Rudy recognized from his mother's small, crackly radio.

"You try leading now." Rudy shifted their joined hands, rubbing his sweaty palm on his thigh before reaching up to clasp Alejandro's shoulder. He desperately wanted to wrap both arms around his neck and press close, but he was fairly sure he couldn't get away with claiming it was part of teaching him to dance.

Alejandro approached it like he did everything else new to him. Brow furrowed, concentrating. Rudy doesn't know exactly when Alejandro managed to get taller than him, but it took his breath away to look up, the bright glow reflecting in Alejandro's dark eyes that met his, studying him so intently.

He tested, his fingers gently pressing, guiding Rudy. His confidence grew as the song went on, and Rudy surrendered to the warmth of Alejandro's arm around him, hand gentle on his back. "Not so hard, is it?"

Alejandro's wry smile as he ducked his head was answer enough. It wasn't a difficult dance, at least not the basics. Alejandro lifted a shoulder at Rudy's questioning eyebrow. The movement shifted Rudy’s hand, and it was excuse enough. He took the moment to curl his hand around Alejandro's neck, feeling the knobs of his spine and tangling his fingers in his long, dark curls.

"Plenty to learn still, besides just the basic steps. Unless this is enough for you?"

Alejandro's voice cracked slightly, eyes wide as he pulled Rudy closer, both of them moving slower as the song faded out. "Might need more practice. I've seen you dance with Nina Antonia, there's spinning involved."

"Then come over tomorrow, after school. You know my mom won't make fun, and we've got the music. She's making pozole anyway, you know you want to."

"Fine," Alejandro huffed, pretending it was a hardship like they weren't always at each other's homes for dinner anyway. Tomorrow was a rare day off for Rudy’s mom, but he knew she wouldn't mind. "One more song first?"

Rudy shifted close again as Alejandro's too-warm hand gripped his ribs and they moved with the rhythm of the drums. Rudy had always enjoyed dancing with his mama, but he thought that maybe she had a point. Dancing with her was very, very different than dancing with Alejandro, especially with the way his eyes glittered in the dark.

[doc-pickles]

sent to save me | sidney crosby (ch. 6)

series masterlist

summary: vivie goes to her first figure skating lesson

warnings: none :)

author’s note: here’s a little filler chapter for ya! enjoy!

xoxo

nina

“Go Vivie! You’re so fast!”

As Vivie skates across the ice Nikita’s voice rings out from the bleachers of the rink. Vivie’s first figure skating class had turned into an event as Sid and Annie as well as the Malkins squeezed into the bleachers. Nikita was in his hockey gear and skates, set to practice with his hockey team after the figure skaters wrapped up.

Nikita’s observation is true, Vivie is flying across the ice twice as fast as the other girls in the class. Sid can’t help the grin that’s permanently etched onto his face as he watches his daughter skate circles around her peers.

“Do you guys come down here often,” Sidney turns and looks at Annie who’s sat next to him, her legs positioned so that their knees softly brush. “She’s amazing.”

Annie nods, her eyes never leaving Vivie, “We come here at least once a week. She’s been on the ice since she was three. I help the owner's daughter with her math homework so that Vivie can skate for free.”

Sid knows better than to make another comment about how Annie could have asked him for help, instead nodding as he turned back to the ice. Vivie took another careful spin around the ice and Annie’s hand found his, squeezing lightly as they watched her move.

A few minutes later a whistle blows and the figure skaters are replaced by hockey players. Vivie and Nikita hug as they pass each other, then Vivie is flinging herself into Annie’s arms.

“Mommy did you see me?”

“I did baby you were so good,” Annie brushes back her curls and presses a kiss to Vivie’s cheek. “You looked like you were having a lot of fun!”

Vivie nods and smiles at Annie, “It was so much fun! Can I do it again?”

Annie chuckles as Vivie bounces excitedly, “Yes, we’ll come back next week. You get to take lessons every week.” Annie pauses and turns her gaze from Vivie to Sid, swallowing thickly. “Actually I think you owe a big thank you to Sid. He’s the one who paid for your lessons.”

Vivie’s eyes widen and before he can react she’s flinging herself into Sidney’s arms, her own wrapped tightly around his neck, “Thank you so much Mr. Sid!”

Sidney meets Annie’s eyes over Vivie’s shoulder, both of them with unshed tears welling in their eyes. His hands wrap around Vivie as he hugs her tight, eyes closing as he smiles widely.

“You’re welcome Vivie,” Sidney chokes out, attempting to get his words to not sound so strained. “Your mom told me how much you love skating so I figured I’d help out.”

Vivie nods as she pulls back to look up at Sid, “Mommy says that my Daddy really likes to skate too and that’s why she brings me here all the time. Do you like skating Mr. Sid?”

“Yeah,” Sid chuckles, his chest constricting as Vivie looks up at him with her wide hazel eyes. “I used to skate with Geno a long time ago on a hockey team.”

“Sid best skater ever,” Geno slings his arm around Sid’s and gives him a small squeeze. “He go out and people cheer so loud for him. Chanting ‘Crosby! Crosby! Crosby!’ Everyone love him.”

Vivie’s eyes are wide as she looks from Geno to Sid, her jaw slack, “Wow! You must be super famous Mr. Sid.”

“He is, he’s very humble about it though,” Annie chuckles and lightly nudges Sid’s shoulder. “He always has been as long as I’ve known him.”

Vivie settles between Annie and Sid as Geno relays a story about their time on the Penguins, Sid’s nose crinkling as he laughs at Geno’s horrible impression of him. Vivie smiles up at him, a perfect mix of him and her mom, and everything feels so right between all of them.

“Mr. Sid do you want to come to my birthday party,” Vivie asks as she looks at her mother, who quickly nods her approval. “It’s going to be a tea party and mommy and I are going to make tiny sandwiches and use fancy plates and everything, just like a real tea party.”

“You know I’ve never been to a tea party,” Vivie gasps at Sid’s admission which makes him laugh. “But I would love to come to your birthday party.”

Vivie squeals in excitement and begins chattering about details of the party with Annie who reaches over and squeezes Sid’s hand as he watches his girls.

[flameraven]

I tried to read the Metatron theory... but they lost me when their first evidence of "bad writing" was Nina and Maggie not getting together.

I admit, I was also wondering why they were there for the first half of the show. Their plot felt disconnected and pointless. But then I watched episode 5 and 6, and it came together.

The Ineffables were trying to get them together because they were playing a fantasy game of romance, the kind you see in books. But that's not the reality of how relationships work.

The Ineffables need that lesson, because the whole season Aziraphale has been lost in his own fantasy idea of how the world works. The magician role. The Victorian story. His silly newspaperman act. The Ball. He wants to live in the easy black and white fantasy world in his head. Crowley keeps trying to show him that reality is more nuanced and grey than that, but he refuses to listen, not even hearing Crowley's warning about the demons attacking the shop because he's focused on asking Crowley to dance.

And then we get the Metatron who offers Aziraphale a perfect fantasy world-- one where HE can lead Heaven and make sure it's as Good as Aziraphale wants it to be, one where Crowley is safe in Heaven with him, finally on the side of Good which Aziraphale has always known Crowley to be.

Crowley tries to bring Aziraphale back to reality, but it doesn't work. Aziraphale is still not listening. He can't let go of the fantasy, so he leaves Crowley.

Metatron doesn't need to be rewriting reality or drugging Aziraphale to get him to go to Heaven. He just gets Aziraphale in a vulnerable position and offers him the thing he most WANTS to be true. He rushes him into the decision, giving him no real time to think it over or have a real conversation with Crowley. It's a classic con. Crowley, living in his spy novel drama (and having gotten away from Heaven's abuse), can see it. Aziraphale, living in his romantic fantasy, has no defense.

The themes are already there. The writing is fine. Episodes 3/4 weren't the best, but they do play a role. And of course, since this is part 2 of 3, it's quite possible that threads that seem like they were dropped will be resolved in the last act. There are definitely moments I didn't like, but I feel like the more I sit with this season, the more I see the themes and at least the shape of what they were going for, even if the details didn't always work for me.

I cant believe that the whole season was intentionally bad or weird as some sort of trick... that feels enormously unfair to us as viewers, and more like something JJ Abrams would pull, not Neil Gaiman. I think it's much more plausible that the minisodes were written by people with maybe not as good a grasp on the characters. That Covid restrictions may have forced things to be slightly off kilter. That Gaiman was showrunning 2 productions at once (remotely at times) and so didn't have as tight control as in S1. That sometimes they wrote jokes that sounded funny in concept but didn't land.

There can be a lot of reasons why the season was a little off in places without it being a conspiracy.

[padfootagain]

Crooked Kingdom spoilers (and heavy criticism) ahead, please don't read if you don't want to.

Okay, I've just finished reading Crooked Kingdom, and let me tell you something: the end was absolute shit.

It has ruined the entire book to me honestly. Because you either make all your heroes lose, or you make them all win, but you do NOT decide to kill off one of the main characters FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING when all the others get a happy ending.

Because it simply does not work. The whole point of the first book is that they become some sort of a found-family group. The whole point is that they will do this all TOGETHER. No matter their fate they will do it as a united front. And yes, of course, there are tensions and evolutions and progress and step-backs but the point is that either all win or all lose.

It's even clearly mentionned when Wylan says that they were all supposed to make it. They were supposed to all make it. Or to all fail. And it was probably a way to say 'hey, reader, you thought they would all make it but no! They can't break from the doom of their lives' but THAT WAS THE WHOLE POINT ON THE TWO DAMN BOOKS!!!! To me it just ruins the whole thing. Because why then give an ending that's almost too good to everyone else except for Matthias and Nina ?

And when I say a too-good ending, don't get me wrong, I'm glad that everything ends well for the rest of the group. But Inej did not need to find her family to get a happy ending. Breaking free and getting to hunt slavers and having a chance with Kaz was enough. Wylan didn't need to get his father's money and property, getting away from his father's grasp and staying with Jesper and getting his mother back was enough. Some got it almost too good. I would have been contempt with less for them, they could have had progress to make still. A promise of a search for her family, a place to find of his own will. I like these happy endings for them, don't get me wrong. But to me it isn't balanced. Why offer too much to some and nothing to others?

Especially given that Matthias's death is MEANINGLESS in the story. What is the point? It doesn't teach anyone a lesson. It doesn't make the plot progress drastically or move in an unexpected twist. It's just there, coming out of the blue, it ovcupies barely a chapter, it doesn't draw enough grief at all. It misses the impact. If the message was simply to say 'not everyone can get a happy ending' or 'not everyone can change' it was proven time and time again in these books. And yet Inej's final thoughts with Kaz are that indeed everyone can change. So again... what is the point? There isn't any. Nina doesn't use her powers to resurrect him, which would have made sense. Again... what's the point?

And don't give me the 'but in life people just die with no reason...' because that's the whole point. This is not life. None of it is realistic. And in such a book where the whole plot relies on carefully crafted plans... why put something that doesn't make any sense and doesn't better the story by any mean?

To me it's truly about breaking a contract with your reader. You have enough plot twists in the story to wonder a dozen times whether or not they will make it. But you KNOW that they will, because it is the contract. Everything leans towards the final happy ending. They are not doomed enough to fail. To kill off your main character like this, with a death that means nothing, you must show the reader it will happen. They must try to get away and yet you KNOW they will fail. The element of surprise, to me, is better used when it leads to what you expect: you wanted to hope that they would live, they got so many chances, and they fail, every time, and they die. Or on the contrary, you know they will live, they have plenty of surprises thrown at them to make you doubt it, and yet they survive. It's not about not liking to be surprised, it's about the lack of consistency in the writing and the structure of the plot. Pulling something out of nowhere like Matthias's death, shot by a stranger, does not make sense. He was shot by a younger version of himself, you will say, it is a sign of doom indeed, but it wasn't foreshadowed enough to be relevant. Matthias is still struggling but he's winning. There is no doubt thay he's getting over his hatred for Grisha, that he will not fall back into it. So why bring his past back like that? He is not tortured enough for that. He is still struggling, but he is not going to go back to his old ways, so why pretend that his past is killing him, when he has already stepped out of it? It doesn't make sense, it's not logical enough. Not to me, anyway. I guess the message was that Matthias had a fool's hope, that the Fjerdans won't change, not that easily, at least. But the point of the book is NOT that the Fjerdans can change or not. IT IS NOT THE POINT OF THE PLOT. This could have been a story for another book, focused on Nina and Matthias, and them failing to change the ancient ways. That I could have accepted, but here? The point of the books was never about Fjerda, it was about the Crows. The point was not really to protect Grisha at all, it was to protect THEIR group. Grisha or not. It would have been better suited to the ending of Six of Crows, because he struggled more then and Fjerda was central to the plot. So again... Matthias's death misses the point. It comes out of nowhere in Crooked Kingdom, answering a question that was never asked in the first place and failing to bring any element of doom, because to have doom, you need attempts that fail and succeed. One step forward and two steps back. It isn't how it worked here.

I'm just so frustrated and angry, because once again, I am disapppinted by an ending on Grishaverse. It was the same in SaB, and here again... it's so frustrating.

Anyway, end of my rant. I'm just so angry, I had to talk about it.

[kazscrows]

Six of Crows Reread 🪶

Chapter 22: Kaz

Immediately started off in a sad Kaz flashback

The Razorgulls stole his boots! That’s so mean! I wanna fight them (ง'̀-'́)ง

“The city is winning so far. But you’ll see who wins in the end.”

The next morning, Jordie woke with a fever.

Heartbreaking

They had no money for medicine or a medik, so they huddled together in a pile of broken-up wooden boxes that they dubbed the Nest.

I’m crying but I guess Kaz has always had an affinity for birds

Jordie died while Kaz was asleep…

Kaz thought of the little wind-up dog, of drinking hot chocolate on the bridge…

…Kaz expected to wake in the next world, warm and safe, his belly full, Jordie beside him. Instead, he woke surrounded by corpses.

Oh it’s so awful-

Do you think it was the firepox that gave Kaz his rough voice?

Vengeance was waiting, vengeance for Jordie and maybe for himself, too.

Brick by brick, right?

He’d heard there were sharks in these waters, but he knew they wouldn’t touch him. He was a monster now, too.

Oh this is the quote that probably made me relate sharks with Kaz

He had to live. Someone had to pay.

Pekka Rollins needs to pay…

But yeah this is what I mean by his hope being tainted by revenge

Back in the prison wagon Kaz is suddenly nine years old again and drowning

Gosh I can’t believe he was only nine

He was ice cold and in darkness. There were bodies all around him, pressing against his back, his sides. He was drowning in corpses.

Inej’s voice brought him back though. Pulls him from the “waters”

Well her voice and the fact that she repeatedly jabs him in the thigh

Inej would never betray him. He knew it. Kaz felt ill. Though he’d trusted her with his life countless times, it felt much more frightening to trust her with this shame.

He hasn’t been vulnerable since he was nine

Kaz felt himself drawn towards her voice like water rolling downhill.

Some very good Kanej this chapter

Honestly I love that Kaz and Inej think of each other to help them overcome their challenges

Laziness wasn’t as reliable as greed, but it still made a fine lever.

Kaz and his leverage

Kaz watching Inej get led away with the other female prisoners and not realizing that he’s feeling panic at seeing her go at first

That’s good stuff right there

I bet Nina noticed his heart speeding up

It’s interesting hearing Kaz describe the tanks as large wagons before he knows what they are

Just you wait bud..

Inej had once offered to teach him how to fall. “The trick is not getting knocked down,” he’d told her with a laugh. “No, Kaz,” she’d said, “the trick is in getting back up.”

Yes you read that right

Kaz Brekker laughed and maybe it wasn’t exactly mocking

But really this is a good lesson she’s teaching

You have to learn to get back up again

That’s the trick to falling

Learn how to come back from it

Just the memory of Inej’s voice gives him strength

Kanej 💕

I wonder how much lighter Kaz’s hands are compared to the rest of him…

Probably not that much since the man constantly wears suits but still

Maybe his wrists are just slightly more tan?

It’s not important just a random thought..

Kaz knew the word for cripple in plenty of languages.

This scene is burned into my brain

I dunno I just like watching Kaz fight people

Even when reeling with thoughts of his past and barely functioning because of his touch aversion Kaz can and will rip your arm out of socket

No one is stealing his boots today so to speak

Helvar came up beside him. “Was that really necessary?”

“No.” But it had been – to make sure they were left alone to do what needed to be done, and to remember that he wasn’t helpless.

Kaz Brekker always has a reason

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[forrest-bastard]

Here's my fix-it for s2 ep 6, and hoe i imagine it going in my head before going to sleep every night the past month, Enjoy!

"It's probably best if I start off doing all the talking, you do all the listening, 'cause if I don't start talking now, I won't ever start talking, right?"

Crowley paces back and forth building sentenced in his head and scratching out parts, rewriting them again untill he thinks he has a solid ground to work from.

"Yes, so..." Just as he's opening his mouth to start talking Aziraphale puts up two fingers, indicating him to hold on a second.

"What's that lovely human expression? Oh, yes! Hold that thought!" He says, practically beeming.

Crowley can't help but wonder weather or not he's knowingly oblivious, or just ignoring the fact that he's standing there, hands in his pockets sweating. Aziraphale had always been good at knowing Crowleys emotions before himself, yet now, when he's the text book example of anxiety he has no clue.

"I have some incredibly good news to give you!" Aziraphale shines.

"Really?" Maybe Nina and Maggie caught him entering the shop, gave him the lesson and now He feels he has to be heroic and spill everything before Crowley does. That must be the case, Crowley thinks, thumbing with the end of his tie 

"So, um... the Metatron, you know, I don't think he's as bad a fellow.." The Angel stars, looking around the shop not meeting Crowleys eyes.

"Well, I think I might've misjudged him. You see, I... Well, he said, um, that Gabriel obviously hadn't worked out...  as Supreme Archangel and Commander of the Heavenly Host, and he asked who I thought should take over in Heaven now that Gabriel was gone." Aziraphales continues, laughing nervousley in-between segments.

"He said I was the only fit candidate, Me, an archangle, supreme archangel, and He said I could appoint you to be an angel. You could come back to Heaven and... and everything, like the old times. Only, even nicer." Aziraphale finished, looking at crowley with the softest eyes, and the smile that could melt glaciers.

"Right, and you told Him just where he could stick it, then?"

Everything was crumbling, 6000 years of hard work, self improvement and friendship. Crowley knew it was to much to ask, of course he would be second best to Heaven, he was a fool thinking otherwise.

Aziraphale responded with a confused look, opening his mouth to start saying something.

"Oh, we're better than that, you're better than that, Angel! You don't need them. I certainly don't need them! Look, they asked me back to Hell, I said no. I'm not gonna be joining their team. Neither should you." He was pacing again, on the werge of ripping out his hair, and also falling to his knees sobbing. But he did neither, he stood, centimeters away, and looked at  Aziraphale.

"But... Well, obviously you said no to Hell, you're the bad guys. But Heaven... Well, it's the side of truth, of light, of good." Aziraphale looked at Crowley with pain in his eyes.

Crowley, noticed, he saw, something was not right, Aziraphale had been spinning his ring this whole time. Wich meant that something was wrong.

"Tell me you said no?" He asked, taking a step closer and taking off his sunglasses.

Aziraphale looked at him, tears filling his eyes, not even blinking while he reached out his hand towards the demon.

"Crowley, I" he started taking one very trained step forward "I tried, somethings.."

Crowley took ahold of his hand, he knew it was to good to be true, but he was right, something was wrong, Aziraphale didn't want to leave.

"What's going on?" He tried asking holding the Angels hand as if he were to disappear any moment.

"He did something, I can't think" Aziraphale said, his vision going blurry.

"Okay, okay, shit" Crowley was now panicking, heaven wanted Aziraphale, Aziraphale did not want heaven, heaven would not agree to that, so they what, took controll. He had no intentions of thinking any further about what might happen now that he knew. He knew that they had tried, and he knew that Aziraphlae was strong enough to not want to leave earth, leave him, maybe.

"You know Jim, yeah?" Crowley started looking panicked, and angrier than ever, "let's do that miracle thing again, yeah, okay, good"

Aziraphales eyes gad slowly been filling up with tears that were silently falling down his cheeks. He did not dare move, if he did he was afraid he would loose conteoll over himself again. All he could do was squeeze Crowleys hand in agreement.

"Right" The demon said, taking one step closer to Azoraphale, close enough to be looking down upon him. "Just focus on anything you can, about this" he said motioning around, generally towards earth and humanity and all that, but mostly at the books, his books, his shop, his life. "Think about what you don't want to leave behind and I'll do all the rest, good, yes?"

Crowley took a deep breath and tried ti smile down at Aziraphale, giving him what he hoped was a encouraging smile, but it mostley looked like a furious grimace.  Then he grabbed ahold of Azriaphales suit lapel and drawing him in.

Salt, was the only thing Crowley could taste, the salt of tears. Warm streams rolling down over his lips and down his chin. Aziraphle had managed to move placing his hands upon crowleys waist, gripping the fabric of his blazer.

Crowley had been there, everywhere, he had been there when Aziraphale first doubted, the soft breeze from the sea blowing salt into his face. He had wanted so to comfort, but he knew not how. He had stayed seated, offered his words instead of his warmth. Now he could do both. They had left him stranded, between Heaven and Hell, Crowley was furios. Aziraphale deserved to be admired, and he should have been feared aswell. Going against Heaven and Hell, more than once, yet never being free.

The room around them had been glowing. Passersby outside would have probably called the fire department, if they had noticed, but they didn't, and no one ever would. Neither Heaven nor Hell.

Crowley had relived six millennia, rewriting history, and Aziraphale had gone with him. They both thought of the same thing. The one thing on earth, and in the whole universe all other places that did not exist yet, they didn't want to leave. Eachother.

Neither of them would be able to tell how long they had stood there, breathing eachothers air, holding the other. But when they pulled apart, looking at eachother, they were glowing.

Aziraphale was radiating warmth, his hair itself buring like a halo. He looked up at The demon before him, seeing for the first time the gold in his eyes, and the burning tears that covered his flushed cheeks.

Crowley, who was staring at Aziraphale could see, as if for the first time, he saw freakels, like constellations across the angels face, glowing like the burning stars he had created.

"Are you alright? my dear" Aziraphale tentatively asked, slowly raising his hand to dry one tear that was making its way down Crowleys face. "You look a bit drained"

"S' fine, I'm good" He said, taking a moment to blink, for the first time. "I think" he starts letting go of Aziraphales suit, and instead letting his hands gently rest against the others chest. "I think we're good"

"I think so too, I can see you again" Aziraphale said.

"You, you couldn't before?" Crowley asked worried, angry and with the burning haterade for heaven.

"Ah, no" Aziraphale awnsered a bit sad, and also confused, as to why it had been an irreversible truth. "When I left him outside, Oh he's still here, he must be" Aziraphale was struck with panick, he had left the Metatron outside, and just forgotten about him.

Crowley took a few swift steps towards the window, gazibg through the blinds, and seeing an older gentleman, sipping quietly at his coffee.

"I think we're in the clear, but just in case let's stay in here" he said, going ovether to the door and switching the sign to closed, and  looking the doors

[tangerinecherrygal]

Small S&B S2 rant for my two followers or; SOC and S&B shouldn't have been combined (opinion)

Hi, this is my opinion and if anyone here enjoyed both seasons then I'm so happy for you. There are things that I enjoy that my friends don't and them pointing that out isn't a personal attack on me. Different strokes for different folks :)

Ok, first, since season 1 I hated that they combined both series. The story between Alina and the crows was completely different and felt disjointed.

I do wanna say I have read the first S&B book and I don't think I'm finishing the series because, i didn't like the way it was written. I also couldn't finish season 2 for some of the reasons I'm going to list now. However, I'm still able to critique how the show felt and it felt messy.

The relationships: (Season 1 mostly)

The relationships between everybody but Mal and Alina felt very forced and sudden. Like when she kissed the Darkling I was like, you've talked for a total of 45 minutes??? and it feels like those were their only interactions. In the book it was also like that but I feel like if they just focused on the s&b storyline then the writers could rectify this.

Also the 15 minutes of Nina and Matthias and then they're in love?? Even if this is a backstory that isn't in the books they could explore it in a different show. That storyline was so interesting and could've easily been a show by itself. The same for the rest of the crows.

Kaz and Inej's interactions mostly involved Jesper (who I loved). So I didn't really feel the chemistry with them. Buuut... the friendship between them felt very real and was so fun to watch. These actors are so charming and suited the characters I think.

The pacing (Both):

Because they combined the storylines they couldn't explore the relationships much like I said before. Also, they couldn't show much development, especially Alina developing her powers. In the books they explained why she was so weak but didn't in the show. I think it was a nice point. (The analytical part of me wants to say it's a good allegory for how suppressing parts of yourself can wear you down. Since this is a YA series I feel like it still has life lessons so that's how I took it). They could have given us more time with Mal and Alina's friendship too, instead of those flashbacks. Alina getting 'over' Mal also felt like it came out of nowhere.

In season 2 it's even worse. Already in the first episode it felt like we had no time to settle into the new situation. Of course, it's going to be fast paced bc they're on the run. I'm talking about how it feels like I'm watching a a playlist of under 5 minute s&b then soc videos. I saw someone say that they were trying to combine all 6 other books. In the 8 episode slots that stupid Netflix gave them??? Ok guys.

Things they should have changed: When Alina got mad at Mal for not responding. It makes their friendship seem less authentic. Yes, I know she's quite young and scared (me too), but she's also able to be a bit rational. It's unbelievable that she wouldn't consider there may also be some other reason that he hasn't responded even if it's for a moment. If she maybe thought that he might not have been able to respond or if he was outside of the base camp and he couldn't get the letters yet. Then she could realize that she can't rely on him so much and needs to support herself. This would also make her confidence later feel more reasonable because it feels like she's working on it for herself.

More time with the Darkling in the first half. In the books I was annoyed that she went from being terrified of him to trusting him implicitly without much reason. Maybe if he was more involved with giving her advice then she might feel like she would be able to trust him.

Genya's hair. I can't deal with bad tv wigs, I think since I started being more interested in drag. This is a more petty thing but in the words of drag queen, Katya: If you have a fantasy show you're adapting for the screen, you can pull it together. If there is a fantasy world that you're adapting, [you've] got to say one thing, "this world is not real." This is not Ken Burns, we can take a little bit of liberty. We can do a low light, do a bang, we can experiment with some texture, we can make it whatever we want. Just make it look good. People get hung up on the good part. Like they could have at least given her some side swept bangs to hide the hairline. That was so twisted and evil I think. My girl was done so dirty.

This is more of a question. Why isn't Alina's surname Starkova?

The dialogue: What the hell? The downgrade between the writing from the previous season to this one. I'm not going back to watch and find exactly what I mean. But some of the dialogue felt so unedited and cringey. They are capable of snark and one-liners, they proved that in the first season. I think it was Nikolai that was the worst so far and the actor was working hard to make those lines work.

Finally, I hate you Netflix: (impromptu netflix rant)

I understand that most of the problems I mentioned could be fixed if they had more time. They could have a better chance of making the combined stories work. The other option is to keep the eight episodes and just adapt s&b.

The 8-10 episode format can't work for everything. GOT could do it but it takes a lot to pull that off for a fantasy show and not every production can do that with the constraints.

Also netflix clutches it's purse tight when it comes to non Stranger Things related content. $28m? For a FANTASY SHOW of a hugely successful book series? That's less than a single ST episode. Netflix open your purse girl, we know you have the money.

It's obvious they crammed a bunch of stuff into this season so if netflix cancels it, then they could have appealed to all the fans and wrapped it up. At the expense of quality :/. If netflix wouldn't cancel all their shows after one or two seasons, then i believe this wouldn't have happened. Idk how they expect to make legendary shows if they won't take that risk and let the fanbase gradually grow. That's how GOT, the office and breaking bad etc became so iconic.

I liked season one and thought it had a lot of potential. I was so disappointed that i didn't like this season.

[bettycanavosio]

For all your ocs, so you have something to do hehe :3

👪 💐 (that's something I really wanna see because you create such a good pictures :33) 🎵 🔫

cracking my knuckles. buckle up!!!!!

👪 / what is their family like? what is your ocs relationship to them? does your oc have any siblings?

💐 / create a bouquet for them! what do those flowers mean? are any of the flowers their particular favourite?

🎵 / what is their playlist like? their favourite artists? do you associate a particular song with them?

🔫 / do they trust people easily? how easily will they turn their back on someone? have they been backstabbed before? will they betray someone if given an ultimatum?

cain romero

��� THE WORST. he had a brother and killed him in a play fight gone horribly wrong but it was believed to be out of envy (it wasn’t, his family were just very catholic). they’ve blamed him ever since. as a child he thought prayer would bring his brother back to him. it never did.

💐 i see a variation of white flowers for him idk. daisies, lilies, etc, but regardless they all blur into a white flag

🎵 not sure tbh but now i think about it, that one line from sun bleached flies by ethel cain that goes “god loves you, but not enough to save you” reminds me of him

🔫 yes and no. yes because who else does he have to trust? no because if he has nobody to trust, why start now? it’s very complicated for him and often ends in broken friendships

nina romero

👪 not great. love was shown through money (ballet lessons) and it was only given if she was good at what she did.

💐 orchids, tulips, and daisies <3 orchids and tulips often reflect luxury and love and daisies are new beginnings :) there’s also something childlike about daisies. and she is always reaching for her childhood

🎵 she pretends she likes classical music to cope with what she dances to but let’s be real. she loves rock n roll but would never ever admit it. ever

🔫 no <3 she doesn’t trust anyone and only just trusts her husband. but she’d never turn her back on someone, especially if it’s to win something. otherwise she’s just proving she really is bad at the skill she claims to have

lou camelio

👪 they hate him. a lot. they hate him for being loud, his identity, his clothes, his arrogance. the list goes on. but to him it’s alright, because he hates them too

💐 in my mind i immediately saw dead, dried roses. he would probably tear them up and put them on a cake. don’t tell him they’re not edible because he doesn’t care

🎵 love that burns by fleetwood mac for his dramatic ass

🔫 yeah to be honest. he trusts a bit too easily, especially when he’s not sober. i think he’d give a stranger the keys to his car for fun. he hasn’t got it in him to turn on someone, but if he did, it’d be him turning on himself

andie franklin

👪 i mean. they’re fine. passive, but quite supportive too. “idk what you’re doing but i love it sweetheart!!!” kinda parents. until she went a bit crazy

💐 peonies, water lilies, and lavender!!! mainly for the smell to be honest, i feel like she’s very physically affectionate and brings you close and you think wow you smell good. also i think it’s a fun mix

🎵 she is a bob dylan enjoyer and she’s way too vocal about it in interviews!!! however she’s mainly inspired by the artists of the new york school, so john cage, earle browne, etc

🔫 no. but when she trusts, she trusts hard. however, if you break her trust, she still might give you a chance. but just one!!!!

sonny dresden

👪 oh they do not get him. they’re all so angry all the time where sonny is quite literally. well. like the sun!!!! he doesn’t know where he gets his optimism either

💐 you can’t pinpoint one flower because sonny loves them all. you could bring him a dead flower and he’d be like aww :) for me? :) but i think he encapsulates a sunflower <3

🎵 hmm i’m not sure. good old-fashioned lover boy by queen seems very him

🔫 yes!!!! because there is so little life why waste it!!!! (<- him even after dealing with the consequences of trusting too hard)

seb van doren

👪 he comes from a family that value rich people although they’re… not rich. no it doesn’t make sense but in summary: he was raised to be a pompous asshole

💐 hmm. he strikes me as a hydrangea kinda guy. i feel like he’d just stand there and look at a bush full of them and be like wowww. then realise he’s looking too vulnerable and look away

🎵 he is so annoying about jazz. big charlie parker enjoyer. you’d think being in a rock band he’d let the jazz go. but no. “maybe we should do more jazz” “jazz is dying” shut up seb!!!!!! nobody cares!!!!! (i care)

🔫 no. end of

bobby montgomery

👪 what family! there is only music!!!! no but really he has no parents. he was raised by his aunt like peter parker. and she’s sweet! but she is also scared!!! scary rock music oh no

💐 violets and bluebells!!!! there is something so delicate and deep about them both. quite like bobby

🎵 he is one of those “i like everything” people. which is actually true. he enjoys listening to lou and seb bicker about different music genres because he thinks it’s funny they’re valuing one over the other. he reminds me of violin by kate bush

🔫 yeah but it’s not deep. when lana said “i’ve found that when you keep secrets, your secrets keep you.”

from here

🔫 no way. as you can imagine her marriage is very healthy! but she’d never betray someone, especially not in the name of a competition. otherwise she’s just proving how bad she is at the skill she swears to have

lou camelio

👪 ummm they hate him. oh they hate him so much. he was

from here

[content-d3leted]

I am going to ramble about Justin's house. Noone will ever read this probably, but I could not care less, I just have to express my thoughts somewhere!!!

What I love about Robert is the fact that he can say the most ridiculous shit ever and he just gets away with it. Like if any other presenter on cbeebies said some of the stuff he did then it would just sound out of character, but for Robert, he just absolutely nails how to speak it.

'Madam, you are a human gyroscope'. Like mate imagine Rebecca or Evie saying that. No way.

'I'm just going to sit over here....and think about my life choices.' This one actually made me giggle so much, I can picture him just sitting on the floor behind the sofa doing that omg

And the stupid little throwaway comments he does in the show and the pantos aswell is the most hilarious thing EVER. Like when Nina was running onto stage in the 2012 panto and he was like 'oh she's been at the sweets again'. Actually hilarious.

The JH podcasts are so boring though (for the most part). Of course it's meant for small children, no wonder I don't find them great, but the quality of the scripts is abhorrent. I died of cringe at some of the lines. Like what do you MEAN that Justin and Steve get paid to say the line 'let's have a spin-song' (instead of a singsong, I can't recall the scenario that led to the word-pun), but jesus that was a rubbish joke. Justin and Robert get so fruity in them tho, like it actually made my jaw drop (/pos) at some parts at how gay it is

Like when Robert fell asleep on the sofa, and Justin said something along the lines of 'Oh, look at his little robot face, isn't he adorable!! Who's my little robot...you! (x2)' THAT IS SO GAY. I LOVE IT. And when Justin said to Robert something like 'Oh you're too kind, you charmer!' AAAAA I LOVE THEM!! And in the Christmas episode where they're unwrapping eachothers gifts!! That whole segment of it was so adorable!!!

Their whole relationship is so cute though. Like you can clearly see that Robert fancies Justin throughout the whole show. Eg in series 1 'Starting with art' when Justin did his little show-off dance of his arty clothes, Robert posed in a way that you could CLEARLY see that he thought Justin looked hot, which is quite funny. Also in 'Robert's inventions', Robert literally gives Justin such a seductive look for literally no reason, its so obvious he likes him. AND THE FACT THAT JUSTIN WANTED TO GO ON A DATE WITH HIM IN S2?!?! (I'd like to imagine that Robert eventually went to Posh Nosh with Justin the next day). Also at the end of s1ep23, when Dee, Nina and Cerrie chase Justin to kiss him at the end of the episode, Robert literally follows the 3 ladies in the line...like dw mate I'm sure Justin has a kiss saved for his favourite robot aswell lol. Omg I nearly forgot that in the prom podcast that Robert does, he has a phone call with Justin, and they say they love eachother at the end!!! Now that is epic. Ngl there's countless moments of homo between them, I'd be here all day if I listed them all!!

Also it's so funny how in s1ep6 that both of them (especially Robert) had a whopper hangover. Literally no other show could get away with that in an episode. Imagine a drunk TinkyWinky!?! That would be all over the news!! I guess it's a funny relatable joke for adults so noone cared. Actually now that I think about it, Bluey had an episode where her parents were hungover, and that got talked about loads!! In a good way. Its funny how JH does such wild things sometimes (those Pretty Woman references didn't escape my eye!) but literally noone cares lol

I like how at the start of some episodes it shows what they've been doing prior to the audience being there. Especially in s2. Eg Justin and Robert were taking swimming lessons together?!?! And they went to Glastonbury together too!!! They're just 2 daft lads living the life! Their chemistry is incredible though. Like no other pair in cbeebies has that spark. Cook and Line are very good together of course, but it does not match the level of Justin and Robert!

I REALLY hope that in the last ever series of JH (could be s7 or 8) that they properly confess to eachother in an episode. Or at least they say some sort of line in the background that confirms it. Or maybe even a sneaky little kiss on the cheek (although that'll never happen lol). Because I've noticed in s5 and 6 they've slightly mentioned the gay community more, eg when Robert's looking through an inventors book and says 'Oh of course him, and I remember her, ooh and I remember them!' (Yippee) and also there's a canoniclly non-binary caterpillar called Leslie, which is awesome. Maybe they're preparing the audience for something..I sure hope so.

Here endeth the rambling-eth.

[whateveryouwantmetodoiwilldo]

so let’s do this again, for my boyfriends sake:

since i haven’t updated in so long this isn’t necessary all tied to yesterday but from tomorrow on i’ll try to do it that way for the sake of the fact i could limit how long these get to at least some degree

to start off is the hard thing right? it is because i am at a loss for words. let’s start with a positive. speak now TV is out and it and absolutely everything around it is making me so so so very happy, just seeing photos of taylor is enough to make me smile. she’s been an absolutely crucial part of my recovery lately more than ever before. basically whenever i eat i’ll listen to taylor and it’s so stupid but just seeing pictures of her helps me a lot when i’m trying to finish a meal and i keep rewatching that miss americana scene because genuinely i’m desperately grasping onto any support and help i can get on this right now even if it’s just a clip. continuing on that there’s a new vault track called castles crumbling and it’s like i don’t know it’s hard to explain but it’s again one of those taylor songs that i know will be important to me. the lyrics make me really sad and it’s really relatable for this exact moment and i have no idea how she does it. it’s my song. i love her, she is truly saving me right now in ways i know no one would ever be able to understand. hm if my boyfriend dylan were a speak now TV song he would be back to december and if he was a vault track he would be i can see you. :) continuing on the theme of music i do not even want to think about the ticket sale on monday. i will be at the doctors. i feel nauseous and depressed. i’m dizzy and even very very very easy physical activity like biking makes me feel like i’m going to pass out because the blood is just not flowing into my muscles right. i’m self destructive and stupid and i saw a dumb tiktok of nina doing those turns in black swan and i don’t know what got over me and i couldn’t resist it and put on my pointes and tried and of course it was bad and i fell but so now it’s a real mindfuck on my brain because i never thought something like losing my vaganova training would ever happen. once a ballerina, always a ballerina but this iron thing is ducking everything up bad. i want to sign up for private lessons because i know picking stuff up will be incredibly easy but i had a short conversation with dylan about it and he’s just really against it and i’m not mentally ready to dissapoint him so i’m giving that up. i find myself needing and wanting to be little at basically every single hour of the day. i can honestly say for the recent times there’s probably not even an hour that i haven’t thought about it i we’re just tiny i could feel good. i could escape: i could be safe. i could be loved and protected without having to do anything to earn it.

little me was having a storytime a while ago now with his pappa and he got really really really freaked out and scared and disappointed in himself and i wish i could at least protect them from those feelings of heavy self loathing and not being good enough like i hold on my shoulders at all times. he doesn’t deserve that. he’s not a good kid at all, he deserves every upsetting thing that’s ever happened and sometimes i wish i could inflict more pain and hurt on him to get myself to give up regressing once and for all but pain from the outside is different than hurt from the inside where your brain keeps telling you disgusting things about yourself and when little me starts getting those feelings regularly it’ll be when i’ll become unable to regress for the sake of my own safety and comfortability. it’s hard to explain but the thing most important to me in little space is being protected form myself and my own hurtful thoughts toward myself. when i’m little it’s felt like i’ve been freed of that since he’s so tiny and no one has ever yet told him thinking those things was a possibility. he’s always been surrounded by his dadas love.

dylan told me to not weight myself. i’m stupid and self destructive and yes him saying it could of course keep me from doing it at that exact moment and i know i should have reached out for help and support but i didn’t, he was sleeping when i showered (the scale is out in the open next to the shower and i’m front of the mirror) so um i checked my weight and i can’t stop crying and feeling so disgusting, i can’t look in the mirror without seeing anything but how fat and unattractive i look and it’s killing me. i know i’m not but i feel like i’m so overweight and it just makes me feel like i deserve nothing and i had wished dylan and me could do stuff now that i’m back home and alone, it would be amazing and so much fun and i seriously need it for the amount of stress i’ve been under and he makes me feel so good and just comfortable and it’s so important for my self esteem i don’t know i just feel wanted and like at least my body is good for that one thing but i don’t want to ask for it. i bring up needing dyl to initiate stuff long ago and how bad it is for me i always have to but nothings changed yet and i just made a decision to not voice the need anymore until he does. he’s on testosterone and i don’t understand and feel really insecure and unwanted and then really embarrassed when i have to bring it up myself and like i’m being selfish and unreasonable and stupid and i’m starting to think that’s what he really sees and feels. it wouldn’t have been a problem if i hadn’t gained to much weight. it’s not like he comments on it but maybe he’s just unattracted and disgusted by me because i look like i’m so out of control and maybe he also finds the weight gain secretly disgusting on me and he knows i have to gain even more weight i mean it’s probably going to happen if i want to be able to move. god it’s stupid and pathetic but i just need dylan to fuck me. he’s so good and he makes me feel so so so amazing it’s hard to describe and i just need him so much but i can’t have it because i’m not willing to ask without initiating anymore. it’s an issue of consent at this point. i’m afraid he feels pressured but also i wish he would tell me because i have a rule about not cumming without him and sometimes it’s just so so hard when i really wish i could busy for the sake of stress relief. the most important thing about sex to me is the intimacy, how close i get to feel to him and how when he tells me something at they point it’s like it’s the absolute truth and that is so hard to describe out of the mindset. like no matter how i feel taht day when we do stuff and he starts calling me his special, perfect, sweet girl or like a precious adorable little pet i feel so good and just ugh connected to him it’s hard to explain. sometimes i think about something he suggested. calling my weight gain and the things i’m insecure about hot and complimenting it and paying special attention to that and logically that should beat sense into my head and i crave for that but then i remember that he’s probably trying to do that for the sake of me and that it’s actually making him uncomfortable because he has to think about the disgusting changes of my body. yesterday i completely zoned out. for hours and hours staring at the wall. not hearing anything, not seeing anything but the blank white wall, not feeling emotionally anything and not even thinking anything. i think this is some strange coping mechanism my brain is trying to use to give me at least a tiny breather form all the thoughts and scary things and anxieties i face at basically all hours of the day much like little space or fucking dylan does. it’s fucking depressing because i’m unaware and like unconscious and as a result lose my entire day. dylan was very mad at me and rightfully so. i’m lucky he doesn’t leave or hit me i mean obviously i would deserve it after that.

after writing all of this down i’m just left to face the fact i need dylan and i miss him and i want him so badly right now. i want him so badly but there’s another two hours before he is up and anything could happen in the meantime.

i would do anything for him to be awake right now.

[countessofravenclaw]

The 2022 writing Advent calendar: Day 15

15. What is the best gift you remember getting as a kid?

“Yeah, two night at Otaniemi, and then we’ll fly to Rovaniemi,” Gastón recapped for Matteo, as they plus their wives were sitting in Gastón and Nina’s living room one late October evening. They had been talking about their trip to Europe for Flor and Oliver’s wedding on New year’s day and they were going to go to Finland for skiing straight afterward with Simon and Ambar.

“Ambar and Simon are meeting us at the airport when we fly to Lapland,” Nina explained, “We can go look around at the capital Helsinki while Gastón is giving that lecture at the Aalto University.”

“Well, you seem to have it all under control.” Matteo leaned back on the couch, “Remind me to travel with you more often.”

“I don’t know ho I can wait two months!” Luna exclaimed from the floor where she had been playing with Newton. “By the way, is Newton going to that doggy day care again for that? We will be gone for two weeks.”

“No,” Gastón answered, “Delfi and Pedro will be taking care of him, since they are not coming with us.”

“Delfi and Pedro?” Matteo questioned.

“Delfi has had dogs her whole life,” Nina explained, “She has sometimes gone with me to walk him when we have been talking about her producing that book trailer for me.”

“I do wonder if they are planning on getting a dog themselves since they have not offered it before,” Gastón pondered.

“Well that would be a bit odd,” Luna continued, “I mean, Ambar said that she swears that Delfi is pregnant so…”

“Really?” Nina questioned, “Huh, well that would actually make sense. She has seemed a bit tired.”

“They will probably tell us when it is time,” Matteo started speaking, “Not like we are on the godparents shorts list.”

“I think Jazmin has the dips on that,” Luna noted, “Ambar did say that she is willing to go to war about it.”

“Poor Delfi and Pedro. Maybe that's why they are not coming with us to ski.”

“I hope we get to know before I start Christmas shopping,” Luna said while scratching Newton behind his ear. “I can already come up with so many cute things to give them.”

“Luna, it is October.”

“Yeah, so I only have two months to do the shopping and wrapping,” Luna countered. 

“Don’t even speak to me about Christmas shopping yet,” Nina sighed, “Year by year it gets harder. It feels like everyone already has everything, especially after all the wedding gifts. I don’t even know what to ask myself.”

“Probably something everyone has trouble with as we are supposed to be so-called adults now or something,” Matteo sighed too. 

“Uuuuh! Let's play a game!” Luna said so excitedly that she scared Newton and made him jump from her lap onto the sofa and curl next to Nina while eyeing Luna judgmentally. “Uups, sorry.”

“Should we be scared?” Gastón joked.

“No,” Luna rolled her eyes. “What is the best gift you remember getting as a kid? Maybe that can give us some inspiration for gifts this year. Hold up a second, I’ll text that Simon and Ambar as well… you know what, I’ll just put that in the group chat and tell everyone to record a video about it so we can all know each other’s… oka that is done… So, who goes first?” Luna clicked her phone’s record button and started a video.

“Uhmmm, I can,” Matteo spoke hesitantly and Luna turned her phone towards him.

“Go ahead, it is already recording.”

“Uhm… okay,” Matteo started, “When I was nine, the last Christmas… before Mom died, I had just started piano lessons because dad wanted me to do that instead of playing the guitar. But they still gave me my first guitar as a Christmas present and mom asked me to sign it, and of course, she didn’t know, none of us did, but she still got to witness my first autograph ever. I think the guitar is somewhere in storage at Dad and Sofia’s place right now.”

“We need to go find it!” Luna exclaimed, “I wanna see it!”

“We can go do that but I do not know where it actually is.”

“No problem! Nothing is impossible to Luna Valente!” Luna stopped the recording and pointed the came towards Nina. “Nina you are next!”

“Okay.” Nina stared at the camera blackly for a second, “Uhm, so. Well, this will sound really cliche, but it was a book. It was Christmas right after Mon and Dad had finally gotten divorced… I remember it because that really was the first Christmas I remember having some peace and them not fighting, since they were not together, obviously. Mom and Dad both gave me the same book as a present, I didn’t tell them that, obviously because I didn’t want them to fight. But to me it just kind of symbolized that they were on some small level on the same page, by both knowing what I wanted, even if they did not know how to communicate and would not for many years.”

“What book was that?” Gastón asked and reached her hand. Newton had crawled on Nina’s lap and had dosed off quietly snoring. 

“I don’t remember,” Nina answered. “It was a children’s book, and I definitely didn’t take it to Oxford. One of the copies is probably still at dads. I think the Mom’s copy got lost in some box when we moved to Mora’s. I can ask but it’s probably lost forever.”

“So your parents still don’t know about that?” Luna asked from behind the camera.

“No they don’t, and I don’t think I will ever tell them.” Nina said and fiddled with Newton’s ear, “Well that was that.”

“I’ll go last.” Luna started another video on her phone. “So Gastón, your turn.”

“Okay, mine also involves my parents. It was when they gave me my first camera.” Gastón started. “It was our first Christmas in the house they still live in. I didn’t know it at the time, I was nine or something since I was in third grade, but that was the time they really had started having money. They gave me this small digital camera, and I did not know how to use it and I thought it was stupid. Like I said: I was nine. Anyways, we actually went to Canada that year for new Year and that's where I actually learned to ski. There, dad took me out and actually taught me how to use the camera and told me that: even if I didn’t appreciate it then, it could bring a lot of things into my life. You all know how Mom and Dad met at the photography course at university, so that's what he obviously meant and now I know that he was right.” He scooted closer to Nina on the couch and wrapped his arm around her waist. 

“Aww, that was cute,” Luna squealed, “Okay, Matteo take this.” she threw her phone to Matteo. “My turn.”

“Okay, it is recording,” Matteo said and directed the phone toward Luna who was still sitting on the floor.

“I don’t fully remember this, since I was five I think, but Mom and Dad told me that I was always drawn towards all kinds of sun and star things.” Luna started, “Well, now we know why, and but at the time they just thought it was cute. So for Christmas that years, they got me this huge sun-shaped pillow. And apparently, what I said when I got it was: but why is it the sun? I am the moon!! But the pillow was so cute and me and Simon had some much fun jumping on it.”

“What happened to it?” Matteo asked.

“Yeah…” Luna laughed, “We kind of broke it with Simon…”

I had so much fun with this. First of all I love the Gastina/Lutteo dynamic and I relly loved coming up with some sentimental stories about their childhood and what their parents got them. Secondly, I really love writing Gastón and Nina's dogs reactions to what ever they are doing. I also firmly believe that Pelfi are the first ones to have kids from the Roller Crew

[caroline-ds-world]

Beg for me - Lee Felix

Tagging @dctorxmaximoff14

Requested:

Word count 2,124

Warnings: soft dom! Felix, unprotected sex,piv sex, eating out, blowjobs, edging, sub! Reader, I might have missed something please let me know if you think there is anything I need to add!

Please let me know what you think or if you have any requests! Feedback and reblogs are appreciated!

Today was the day. The day Felix was supposed to come back to you from being on tour for 2 months. You missed him so much. You missed his cuddles, his voice, his lips.

Everything about him really. You even tried to coax him into coming home a few times, of course failing and giving up, knowing he would probably punish you when he got back but you just missed him so much.

You got the text from Chan telling you that the boys had landed and Felix was supposed to be on his way to you, but 2 hours later he still hadn't shown up you texted and called him and even had called the other boys asking if they knew where he was they all said they thought he went straight to your apartment. You knew you weren't going to be able to sleep until you knew he was safe, so you sat on your couch, watching TV, while waiting for him to knock on the door.

You ended up falling asleep, waking up hearing your phone ringing, it was Chan. " Hey Nina, Felix just came back to the house, did you ever see him come by?" Chan questioned. You replied " No I haven't, did he seem mad?" Chan chuckled "No he was his usual self. Did you do something to make him mad at you?" "Chan I told you I didn't see him, I haven't seen him or talked to him much since you guys left for tour."

"Well we all plan on coming to see you tomorrow so I'll let you get to sleep, so you have energy for all 8 of us to attack you" Chan jokes with you. You say your goodnights and once you hang up you go to your bedroom, but as you do you receive a text from Felix.

"Hey kitten, didn't mean to worry you if I did, but I will be punishing you by dragging out you being able to get any sexual relief from me. For now you have to deal without this cock you love so much. Until I think you've learned your lesson." You were shocked reading this text, he usually wasn't this dominant and never called you kitten until now, usually calling you baby or babe, but it certainly brought out the submissive side of you that you hadn't told Felix about but somehow he must have picked up on. Most people would probably think that it was the other way around, that Felix was the submissive and you were the dominant, but you were always more of the submissive type.

" I'm sorry, sir, I just missed you. I'll behave until you say otherwise, I'm going to sleep now though so have a good night" you sent the reply before you could think twice then changed and got into bed. He responded with a "goodnight Nina" message. Oh no, he definitely was mad, he never calls you by name.

You try to get some sleep but are up and down every few hours throughout the night. You're worried how mad he is and if he'll even come with the rest of the members. You get up at around 8:30 am and decide to make some coffee to prepare for the day ahead, also having to clean before the guys get there. Once the coffee has been drunk, you get up and start cleaning up to get your mind off of the punishment Felix had put in place. At around 11:30 you get a call from Chan telling you that the boys and him are on the way, including Felix, so he was coming with them still, so he must not be too mad.

30 minutes after Chan called, there was a knock at the door. You went and answered it and we're automatically attacked with a hug from Han Jisung. He didn't let you go until Chan pulled him away while laughing. Once he finally let you go from the hug, all the other members hugged you, except for Felix. Felix came to you last, hugging you but he did kiss you and hold your hand. Once they all had greeted you, you all moved into your living room, sitting on the couch to watch movies and play games, like you always do when they come back from a tour.

At some point Chan had pulled you into cuddle with him while you watched one of the movies and you kept feeling Felix stare at you through it. You turned to whisper to Chan " Felix is staring at us. Do you think you should let me go back to him?" And Chan shook his head no, clearly trying to get Felix to react to him holding you.

After them being with you for about 7 hours the boys, aside from Felix,decided to go get food and bring it back to your apartment. Leaving you with Felix, they said they would be back in about 30 to 45 minutes. You were sitting in silence with Felix, until he spoke up "Are you trying to get back at me for wanting to punish you baby? Trying to make me jealous of Chan? Cause I have half the mind to remind you who you belong to now." You were shocked once again at this. You shook your head, not trusting your voice. He came over to you and started kissing you passionately.

The kiss kept getting harder and more passionate, Felix rubbing his hands down your sides. Shortly after he decided to start kissing your neck and slip his hands under your shirt. You moaned out " I'm sorry sir, I wasn't meaning to do that, I even asked him if I should come back to you" " Oh so you weren't just being a bad slut?" Felix rasped out "I'm going to take you to the bedroom baby, I need you now I haven't had you for 2 months."

He then picked you up and took you to your bedroom, closing and locking the door behind you and him. You didn't understand why he did that at first as the boys were out. "Kitten, I intend to take my time with you, cause I also plan on punishing you still and make sure you feel lots of pleasure, they'll probably be back while I fuck you. Do you remember your safe word, should you need to use it?" Felix explains as if he read your mind. You nod then state your safe word "mocha is my safe word, sir". You had chosen this safe word quite a while ago and had never needed to use it but it's better to already have it in place you and Felix agreed.

After you stated your safe word, Felix pulled out your favorite sex toy which is a pink vibrator that is smaller than his cock, but fills you up so perfectly. But when he pulled it out you knew exactly why he had said he was going to punish you still, he was going to edge you. You weren't going to fight it. You actually love edging so it wasn't really a punishment, aside from you didn't know how long he'd make you go without orgasm. He then pulls your shirt off and starts kissing your neck, both of his hands grasping your breasts roughly causing you to scream then bite your lips. He stops and commands in a deep voice "Don't you dare hide your noises from me, you do that and I will stop."

You squeak at his dominant side coming again, hoping he doesn't notice it and what it does to you, but he does. " Oh does my pretty kitten like it when I'm dominant? Shall I do this more often? Are you my pretty sub baby?" You squeak again. He takes that as a yes and chuckles. He then takes off the shorts and panties you were wearing leaving you naked and him, still fully clothed. He turns on the vibrator and brings it down to your pussy, focusing on your clit with it.

"You're so pretty baby, I'm sorry I'm having to punish you but you acted bratty, and you can't just do that without punishment. Don't worry master is going to fuck you tonight, all night long after I edge you for a bit. And I don't care if the boys hear me fucking you either. You're mine and they need to know that." His voice is such a turn on to you and he knows it. He decides to try to get you to the edge quickly, by sucking on one of your nipples. You moan out his name loudly, knowing you're one the edge of orgasm already because your nipples are sensitive and he puts just the right amount of pressure on your clit, a moment later he pulls away from you.

Satisfied with having brought you to the edge and then pulling all stimulation away, Felix chuckles. "Poor kitten, didn't get to cum, I know I know, just a few more times and I'll give you what you need.i just need you to learn your lesson first about begging me to come home on tour and then flirting with my hyung." Once you've calmed down, he brings the vibrator back to your clit, repeating exactly as he just had.

After 3 more edges you're screaming and begging " Please sir please please please let me cum, give me this please I won't misbehave again." He gives in and strips himself finally. Once all his clothes are off, he takes his dick in hand and gives it a few pumps before bringing it to your pussy, pushing in and bottoming out. He waits a few seconds. He moans at feeling you around him "fuck baby you're so tight, I love your pussy so much, you're so good to me, I'll be good to you now baby, just cum when you need to. I don't know how long I'll last now."

He starts thrusting in and out of you, starting off just slowly making sure he'll be able to last. He brings his mouth down to your ear and starts whispering praises into your ear "Good girl, such a good pussy, I love you." over and over again. As he starts picking up the pace you feel the coil in your stomach building up and snap very quickly and as it snaps you feel yourself squirt all over Felix. Stunned, Felix stops thrusting. He looks down in awe of you. "Oh my god, baby you just squirted all over me, that was so hot, if I eat you out now will you do it again?" He then pulls out and moves to where his face is between your legs and starts eating you out.

His tongue moves expertly on your pussy, licking and sucking just right, trying to give you an amazing orgasm from his tongue also. He loves giving you pleasure and just wants you to always have a mind blowing orgasm. As he continues to eat you out, you feel the coil building up again. And after about 3 minutes it snaps, and you squirt all over his face, and he loves it. He then puts himself back into you trying to give you another orgasm, and eventually he does give you 3 more orgasms, totaling 5 orgasms for the night.

After your 5th orgasm, you tell him you're too sensitive and you want to suck him until he cums in your mouth so you can taste him. " Baby wants to give me the pleasure I have her? Go ahead baby" he moves to where he is laying on your bed and lets you get to where you can suck his dick. You grab it with one hand and then wrap your mouth around the head of his cock and start bobbing your head up and down and sucking making him moan " oh fuck so good baby I love your mouth, I'm gonna cum." He came in your mouth shortly after and you swallow all of his cum.

After that he gets up and runs you a hot bath so that you too can get clean. After the bath is done he puts you back into your bed and walks into the living room and kitchen to get you food to eat after that long and intense session. As he walks out there half clothed the boys start teasing him about the noises they heard from both of you and he brushes them off. Coming back to you, he gives you the food he brought for you. After eating you cuddled up in bed and fell asleep with Felix's arms wrapped around you.

[lupinsfavslytherin]

General Kirigan x Jealous (Fem) Reader Part 1 (Fluff)

Before I get into this I just wanna say a whole ass thank you to everyone that reads my content and likes, because it really boosts my spirit and makes me wanna keep writing, even with my roller-coaster mental health ride. I originally wrote this because really sad and I just wanted a hug, at the time. But I'm feeling better, so i thought "hey! I finally have something written that i can post." "Why not just post it?" So here I am in all my general-loving glory! So there's probably some sketchy writing, but im too tired to fix it, right now! Enjoy!

Imagine: 

Basically when Alina first finds him in the war room, you become jealous of her and think that there's something going on between them. Turns really fluffy in end. Might post a part 2? Also reader supposedly a "book nerd", as well!(FLUFF) (Possible SMUT in part 2)

Part 1:

You were supposed to meet General Kirigan right after dinner and discuss your sister, Nina’s location. You think she’s been missing because she hasn't sent any post for a while. During dinner Aleksander, the general, wasn’t present. But, the new sun-summoner was. You were a little skeptical about her at first, but she quickly warmed up to you, after you two, began a friendship through reading books together, in the large library of the little palace. You both didn’t talk much though, but it was okay. The quiet peace of the library was all you two needed. 

Often, General Kirigan would ask for some of her time before her lessons. He was quite surprised to find you reading in there with Alina, as well. He’d say pleasantries to you, before going to speak with her. The last week has been different though. He’d been snappier about everything. Especially when it came to Alina. You don’t know why, but you were jealous of the attention he was giving her. 

After a quiet dinner, on your part, you went to your bunk. You changed out of your dressy outfit, and into softer and lighter clothing. You also returned a book to the library, grabbing a few more. It was an addiction you had. Finally, you started heading to find the general. It didn’t take long; he was usually in the war room. Walking up to it’s door you heard another voice. Alina. She said Aleksander wasn’t alone, and a bright flash happened. 

You peaked into the room noticing them holding hands. It looked like a very intimate moment, but he then put his hand and wrapped her cheek in it. You don’t know why, but you had to look away as your heart stopped beating for a few seconds. You heard footsteps closer to you from inside, so you knocked on the door. Alina opened the door, and you greeted her with a simple nod, not trusting your voice just yet. Looking past her you saw something like pain crossing the general’s features. He noticed you, and quickly a stoic expression was plastered on his face, but you could still see a sadness in his eyes, as Alina left. 

General Kirigan was quick to start a conversation, asking why you wanted to meet him. Clearing your throat, you replied saying that you were worried. About Nina. How she hasn’t been heard from longer than usual. His eyes softened a bit, as he nodded in confrontation. Aleksander said he would handle the matters, and that most probably she was just hiding. This comforted you, more than he thought. You thanked him, and slightly turned, but didn’t leave just yet. You wanted to know how he was fairing. Aside from being a griesha, you two were here the longest than any other. You used to be great friends until he was offered the role of being General. 

You looked up at his face for a second, asking how he was fairing through with everything going on. Offering comfort, like you used to do for one another. He said he was well, but you could see right through him. You knew how hurt Aleksander was with our own people turning on us and the griesha, like before. Your brows furrowed in these thoughts, and he noticed as he took a step closer to you. 

Aleksander was glad you weren’t assigned to any permanent mission yet, as he didn’t want to see you hurt, or worse. You saw a cut on his arm, and offered to heal it for him. Before he could answer you did so, anyway. He smirked down at you, remembering how you did the same thing when you two trained together. 

He would have been angry if it had been anyone else, saying they were insolent. But it was just you. You. The person that’s always had his back, no matter where you were. You were always learning new healing methods in the library, to no surprise to him. He was surprised by his thoughts, feeling you hug him. Your shorter stature only allowed you to wrap your arms around his torso, and your head was pressed on his chest. You heard his heartbeat quicken a little before it calmed back down. 

He slunk down and laid his head on top of yours, wrapping his own arms around your small fame. You felt the calmest you ever had, being able to know he was okay. Aleksander wouldn’t say anything about it, but felt a large pressure lift off of him at that moment. Squeezing you tighter, the general felt safe from judgement and criticism. He lifted his head up, as you slowly pulled away. You didn’t want to, you felt protected in that moment. 

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Jeff and nina (seperate) with an s/o thats in a band and plays bass/electric guitar and they like perform sometimes 😋

Aaahhh it's been so long since I've written Nina~ I'm glad she's getting some love again

Jeff:

As a hobbyist musician, being able to play the drums and the guitar, Jeff is absolutely interested in the fact that you're in a band and able to play yourself. If you're ever looking for someone to practice one of your songs with, he's absolutely down to play with you or just give you some feedback on how it sounds, and if you accept said feedback it gets him so excited. Whenever your band ends up playing somewhere he always watches, quite excited about being able to see up on a stage, no matter how big, just performing and playing your heart out. He always compliments you on your playing, and he provides good insight on your songs and performances, things you could work on in the future, or what you guys are doing well. Again, you don't necessarily have to listen to his comments, but if you do it absolutely makes his day knowing he can help you.

Nina:

Teach her how to play, please. She gets so fucking excited about the fact that you're able to play and perform, and if you were willing to give her lessons it would absolutely rock her world. It gives her extra time with you, and she gets to learn how to play an instrument, which is always fun in her eyes. She's a very fast learner, and with you by her side, she has quite a lot of fun with it, and I could even see her getting her own guitar so that the two of you could play together sometimes, as it would really mean a whole lot to her if you did. When it comes to your band playing places, you'd best bet your ass she attends all the performances as well, being your biggest fan and cheering out from the crowd, so happy to be able to support you in doing something you love. She is genuinely impressed by your skill and just loves to see you in action.