#they were just strangers at the start of !! and now they're a crazy little family

[lilysundragon]

Crazy Anthem is quite literally the perfect Crazy:B MV and, even more importantly, a perfect Rinne center. I don't think anything else could have possible encapsulated Rinne better. He might seem brash and uncaring but that's all surface-level things, the persona he allows people to see. This MV is very specifically about the version of Rinne he allows himself to be around his friends and loved ones, the kind of person that would do anything for them. Enstars has made it a point to show just how much Rinne is willing to sacrifice for Crazy:B, the lengths he has gone to ensure that his unit can continue to be happy and silly. I couldn't imagine a better MV to showcase that than what we got. Having an entire MV of fun times with Crazy:B? That's the most Rinne thing I've ever heard

[mochinomnoms]

Lmao poor yuu being the mate of the twins you just woke up crazy stuff happened last night, and you are greeted by the twins in "Lets be productive with this" mode so even if you have the most confused look on your face the twins keep talking about wedding plans and please you just woke up too much information to analyze and come up with an answer to, they are so focused on "What are we going to do with the family introduction" that they forgot that you aren't someone that was raised with mer customs or traditions and maybe they should explain what is happening to you.. Maybe after breakfast you are still a bit cranky

-Vaquita (hkKkaksksmsuiaksbs domestic tweels hehe *blushes like a whore*)

dis u:

The twins are so strange to you sometimes. You like them a lot (like a lot, what's wrong with you), don't get it twisted, but they are weird. How you managed to make it out of their room and into Azul's office is a question within itself. Azul is looking up at you from his desk, fixing up a contact of some sort, with an unsurprised look on his face.

“Oh good, I take it the twins are also finally awake? Can you bring them over so we can discuss—”

“Azul, they're acting strange.”

The octomer blinked at you, raising a brow as if your statement as obvious.

“Okay?”

“Stranger than usual!” You opened the door behind you, peeking out before slamming it shut and covering it with your body.

“They woke me up with things about meeting their parents, about if they want to live on the surface or give me a transformation potion, and Floyd kept talking about wanting to be in charge of the wedding reception. What wedding is he talking about!?”

“Oh, they must have forgotten you wouldn't have known. Eelmers mate for life, and based on the sounds the entire dorm heard last night, the twins, err…mated with you.”

Azul cringed at the thought, shaking his head. “I've taken the liberty of writing an engagement contract for you three.”

“Huh?”

“Of course, Jade and Floyd will take a look through it, as well as Mr. Leech, or your new father-in-law, if I may say.”

“Wait a sec—”

“Don't worry, morays have a low divorce rate, but even then I've written you a solid prenuptial agreement in the case that one of them does something you don't like. This way, you'll be set for life if you have to go off on your own.”

“Hey! I didn't—oh actually that's really nice of you Azul, wait no! I didn't agree to any—”

The door slammed open as you removed your body weight to walk up to Azul's desk. You're positive that if they'd really wanted to, they could've mowed you down to open the door. But you're their mate now, so they have to take care of you!

“There's our little shrimp! I turned away to getcha another snack, and you managed to sneak away, come 'ere!”

You yelped as Floyd scooped you up in his arms and gave you a loud, wet smooch on the cheek, loose shirt hanging so that you could see the bite marks you left during the night. Jade was wearing more form fitting pajamas, but you could see in the way he cautiously shifted his back that the scratches you'd left on his back were still stinging.

“See Floyd? I told you they'd be with Azul, who looks like is working on a new contract. Am I safe to assume that's the marriage contract I asked you to work on last week?”

Jade kissed your other cheek and chuckled at Azul's deadpan face, the latter darting between you, Floyd and Jade as the twins cooed at your distress. Azul cleared his throat right as you opened your mouth to start cussing them out for acting weird(er).

“It's an engagement contact, actually, which now I'm glad I switched to, because I do believe your little mate there isn't aware of the commitment you've both bound them into. Maybe you three should go back to one of your rooms to discuss before they turn you down and leave you lonely and single forever.”

The twins blinked owlishly at you, then at Azul, and then back at you. You gave them an unamused glare. The two shared a look of worry before rushing back to their bedroom to explain and convince you why being their mate was a good idea (and to please accept them, they only want you).

(It took them nearly three hours of explaining and convincing you to accept the proposal for their anxiety to go down. To be honest, it only took them the first 5 minutes of explaining to make you want to stay as their mate, but you needed some petty revenge for the confusion they caused.)

[lurafita]

Evilist of all evil, Magnus the Evil

(Super crack)

Magnus was evil. The big bad. The evilist. The biggest, baddest most evilist around. Totally. Super evil, diabolical genius with magic who was gonna rule the world!!!

... right after he gets that little girl's kitten out of that tree.

Or, how a possibly slightly crazy-ish Magnus fails at being evil, and instead finds a familiy of choice and the love of his life, in these people he keeps accidentally helping out.

(Originally posted in a Malec Discord server, where one other member added this little jewel):

Magnus is like "But I needs to do the evil today?!?🥺"

Alec: "Umm…I saw you get up to help an old lady with the groceries not 10 minutes ago AFTER you were done feeding kittens on the street…?"

Magnus: "🥺 But…evillll"

Alec: What if you were evil to the bad guys?

Magnus: They're not bad they're just misunderstood 😔

Alec : 😒

(Which made me add this as well):

(Magnus saying the bad guys are misunderstood got my brain going like): Magnus: "Like those guys that kidnapped me earlier." Alec: "You were kidnapped?!" Magnus: "Yes, see, they lured me into this white panel van with promises of 'a good time'." Alec: "Hasn't anyone had the 'stranger danger' talk with you?!" Magnus: "Of course. I'm a danger to the stranger, because I'm evil. Now, back to the gentlemen in the van. As soon as I was close enough, three of them grabbed me and one tried to chloroform me. Which of course didn't work, because I'm much more evil and therefor stronger than them. So after I beat them, we had a long talk. Turns out they got me confused with some rich heir to some family fortune, who they wanted to ransom back to his parents for lots of money. Money which they then wanted to use to pay off the hospital bills for the kid of a dead friend of theirs. Turns out the widow is badly in debt because of that and might lose the house, and then she and the kid will be homeless. But you know how much can go wrong with kidnappings, especially of people who are very rich and well connected. And these guys clearly weren't cut out for that. So I helped them rob a bank instead." Alec: "…"

(And another)

Alec gets home one day to the sight of Magnus rocking a toddler on his lap. The toddler is giggling happily, inbetween sucking a big lolly pop. Magnus has a similar lolly pop between his lips. Alec is… concerned. Alec: "Magnus? Why is there a child?" Magnus: "Well, it all started with me stealing the lolly." Alec: "You stole candy from a kid?" Magnus: "It's the evilist thing one can do, so I had to. It's the law. Anyway, I swapped out the kids lolly with a new one, because I may be evil, but I'm not a monster. And then I realized that the kid's lolly had been poisoned." Alec: "Oh my god are you okay? Should I call Cat?" Magnus: "Don't worry, Darling. I'm much too evil for this weak kind of poison to affect me. But the kid would have bit the dust, no question. A little investigating then led me to the kid's uncle, who is the legal guardian of the little one, and tried to get rid of him to get his hands on the money the dead parents left the kid in their will. So then I sent the uncle to my father and stole the kid."

[eraldkarma]

Ok so my hyper fixation on aphmau has sparked u again, I've decided to share my little Au with the world because my friends are getting tired of hearing about a minecraft roleplay from... oh god it's been that long? Jeez.

Anyway here is what I'm changing about the base cannon of mystreet before I throw in any crazy AUs like Ein being a decent person and living with Aph and Sylvanna during S2 of PDH or mystreet Dante getting stuck in MCD when everyone ditched him.

So I don't know I can fit my whole four years worth of brain rot in one post so we are going to start with the big blaring walking red flag himself Aaron.

What needs to change?

So so muck For starters, apparently, Aphmau needed to listen to sylvannas internet safety lectures a bit more because SHE STILL GIVES A STRANGER HER ACTUAL PHONE NUMBER!!! Sorry sorry this is a post about Aaron not how nieve aphmau is.

Anyway the guys 18 and is dating aphmau who is probably 14/15. This guy is going off to college in a year and aphmau still talks her stuffed cat and hides in a closet before her first day of high school.

Also at first I defended Aaron becouse I thought he just didn't know how old she was when they were strangers texting each other but they have a whole conversation about how nervous she is ABOUT HER FIRST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL! Sorry again 😔 but if I was Aaron and I found out that the person I was talking to was actually a young girl who was probably fourteen or fifteen (younger actually since they've known each other and have been texting for atleast a couple months) and knowing that I am seventeen or eighteen would break it off and probably unfriend them not keep texting them about it and then start to ask them to reveal there real name.

Then there's the whole like ultima thing I know it wasn't actually written in until like season 4 of mystreet but I have a question 🤔 if darek knew what kind of life was in store for his son having the curse if he feels so bad about having to isolate his son if he knew the curse is a possibility why have him? Why risk have biological children? Or why not stop after milisasa since for some reason the curse only effects the males of a blood line. (You're telling Me the lycan family has never had an all female generation? Is the curse just dormant in females?) I'm changing that we need to change dark put him on the list right above Sylvanna but under KC.

There's also like why are you the alpha of the werewolf pack? Like I get it in highschool but after in season five? You don't know anything about the culture and Daniel ran the highschool pack for four years you don't have to be the alpha now? I genuinely think that was from Jason wanting his self insert to be the ' powerful hot alpha oc trademark do not steal'

So how an I gonna fix this?

Well we are going to start with Aaron's age, He's aphmaus age or well hes sixteen but so were Garothand Laurence. Plane and simple hes sixteen hes a softmore who was homeschooled is life becouse of his secret ultima curse. He does switch schools temporarily for S2 of PHD becouse dark was worried about how frequently Aaron was loosing control and how he still hadn't had a grasp on the curse, I'm gonna get to that hold tight.

That leads me into my next fix how Aph and Aaron met! They were put in the same online schooling class because Rachel is a bissness major, and Sylvanna is the type of mom to make you cry when she helps you study for your spelling bee (she loves her daughter but she does not have enogh patients to be a teacher.) Anyway they meet in the online class and find out they're both into the same things including a popular Online game and being lonely homeschooled kids latch onto each other, (I would imagine that Aaron went under a different name for the homeschooling program since he can't have the media tracking him down or asking questions y'know?) Then once they get to the age were they have phones reluctantly trade Instagram (aph made a separamount. Just for talking to Aaron and not posting pics because her mom follows her mian and Aaron makes his very first acount and only follows aph who goes by Shu on that account.)

Now to fix the lycann family.

Let's start with the curse, like I said makes no sense as to why Dark still had kids with Rachel biological when he Knew what his kids would go through. So the ultima curse effects all offspring male or female and it isn't usually as strong as Aaron's. In my head not being able to control there eyes was grown out of around five years old to seven years old and then there eyes stop turning red without wanting them to they still pose the danger it's just not that hard to control. It's like potty training they learn as they grow up. But for whatever reason Aaron never really grew out of the uncontrollable eyes thing, infact they were almost always red when he was young. This scared Darek who grew up on these stories about what will happen to them if the curse is ever discovered in they're family blood line, (which is why they still hide that they're werewolves.)

Aaron lived his life in solitude while millisa got to go out and experience the world she got to go the boarding schools in Germany and go with mom and dad on they're business trips while he stayed in they're house in falcon claw with either one of his parents or trusted staff. (This is not how millisa sees it BTW but we'll talk about her later.

I hope you enjoyed my brain dump.

[gittessimsadventuresog]

Pistache G3 Chapter 23: The Duel

Part 7

Highly recommended read: Chapter 12

Previous chapter here

CW: Violence, mental health

Florian sighed and began to examine the room more closely. "So what now? Why did you bring me here?"

Then he saw even stranger things. Old dusty books with skulls on them, elixirs, a skeleton, logical in a graveyard but not comforting in the lair of a manic, deranged clone.

Faroald had apparently been waiting for this question, and began to explain his reasoning with grand gestures. "What do you think? You didn't follow my plan. At first I thought it would be ideal to just make you feel so bad that you would kill yourself for me. But I explored your memories a little deeper, and started pushing the delusions, to get you addicted to-"

He had no friends, no real family, no job - but he had an awful lot of time on his hands. Of course he would learn everything there was to know about magic, but the suggestion that he could even do that was unimaginable.

"The hallucinations...You...How...?"

"I'll say it again: I'm your clone. Identical twins have a little difference somewhere, and even they're supposed to be connected. I just needed to be reminded of your experiences, I think I could even do a pirouette or a somersault on the spot if I tried... And there they were, all your memories... I know you inside and out, original. But you never knew. Never had the feeling that someone was putting strange thoughts in your head?"

" That... That was you... I thought I was going crazy..."

Full chapter here

[lucassinclaer-archive]

i only need super minimal encouragement to talk about this soooooo ty @freetobeeyouandme lmao. been thinking about stranger things heist au again. and it got long into brainstorming territory so just... (waves hand vaguely) thoughts continue under the cut.

legacy families like the byers who never pulled high-end jobs, content in their little pond being small-time crooks incapable of understanding why jonathan, with all his flawless lifts and situational awareness, would try to reach above and start in on the big jobs.

joyce who met lonnie on a job and joyce and jonathan who protect will from lonnie's frustration when will turns out to be an awful thief who doesn't enjoy crime the littlest bit. (he does turn out to be quite the forger when the time comes, though.)

contrast with that the wheelers who are an all-american halfway happy law-abiding family whose eldest, nancy, walks eyes front into a life of crime to protect her friend and finds that it becomes inevitable, a sort of ceaseless need to keep going. who never wanted her little brother involved.

but apparently the wheeler siblings have some sort of crime beacon on them because of course nancy quite literally crashes into her brother trying to take down the same scumbag two towns over she is, although he looks at her like she's crazy when she lays out her plan and man, what her little brother has planned is actually pretty clever and much more subtle than the approach she was gonna take. they have ground rules, but she doesn't try to keep him from pulling jobs. she knows it'd be useless.

dustin is an incredibly bright kid with what may be a slight tendency to go overboard in the name of Science. he loves blowing stuff up every now and again, okay?! and also it's just criminal (heh) what some pharma companies do so he might be breaking into their headquarters and screwing with their formulas and contaminating their experiments until he figures out how to take them down permanently. sue him! (but please don't actually sue him, he hasn't found a great lawyer yet.)

lucas on the other hand was dragged into crime kicking and screaming. not something he ever wanted to do. (will will understand but then lucas kind of loses him when he did it anyway.) mike and dustin sort of kidnapped him into it, basically, when they were all still strangers, dustin and mike barely partners on this one con, and they'd needed a patsy who worked for the corporation they're stealing from. unfortunately they were still young and dumb enough to pick someone actually smart who trapped them in an office until they copped to their scheme at which point lucas demanded proof of their accusations which coincidentally was exactly what mike anf dustin were after. after that they can’t really seem to separate. he's turned into a jack of all trades, lucas sinclair - grifter, thief, hitter... even the occasional hacker. not the greatest at any, but good at all.

(we don't talk about erica who will one day give him a heart attack blowing up his whole carefully crafted alibi.)

steve, the getaway driver who hates his fucking job and is in it only bc there was p much nothing else to do until he finds people who show him there's a way to do it that brings him joy, when he knows what he's fighting for.

robin's a strange sort of grifter, not someone who immediately charms everyone in a room, but who knows how to make herself either invaluable or severely underestimated. she speaks like every language under the sun. like steve she has a certain aimlessness at first but unlike steve it's not due to having no ideas but more of a thing of having no options. until they're offered to her. then she's unstoppable.

max is out there somewhere being a thief different from jonathan, self-made and scared and on the west coast. but if they were to meet jonathan would recognize those gritted teeth and the hard work. it's not natural talent that made her so good at what she does but pure stubbornness.

el, on the other hand, is all raw talent and exploited for it for a long time when she's a kid. it's will who meets her first, who gives her an out, but when it lands him in trouble it's the other criminals who help her get him out. joyce, mike and jonathan develop an instantaneous protective streak for her. lucas isn't sold and dustin is mostly in love with her demolitions capabilities and nancy is hungry for the dirt she has on various government agencies.

[quillium]

Heya! This isn't really an "ask you"- haha. But I just wanted to write to you- for quite a bit honestly. First of all, I hope you're well. The first piece of work I've read of yours was "Ben & May's". I absolutely loved it. I read it way back in 2020. I was 15 years old, kinda angry at the world lmao. But I found my solace in reading and writing stuff by strangers on the internet. I commented on your story- which in fact was one of the first and only times I ever bothered interacting with someone online. I don't know why, but reading your story made me warm. Warm to the core. And I wanted to share my own story! About how I related to an incident in the fic, because I snuck out of my house with a broken arm to participate in the science fair at school. You responded sometime later and congratulated me and told me to take care of myself. And you said something else too. It might have been in a joking way but you said something along the lines of "You're literally Peter Parker lmao". I don't know why but that really stuck with me. Peter Parker is a character I grew up worshipping, I'd read all the comics and watch every show with him in it with my dad. I've always loved school and learning new things, but it was always hard for me to find confidence. My dad and I are pretty tight but I can't say the same for me and my mom. And for a great chunk of my life, I've had to live with her, which didn't exactly yield the greatest upbringing (which you can probably tell by the way I'm writing to you now haha). So when someone even humouredly made that comparison- I was super taken aback. Super doubtful. But I was awestruck too. I've never been complimented before- in such a meaningful way from anyone other than my dad (that has since changed thankfully, but at the time young me was still recovering from huge life changes). So it really got me to take a good look at my life and actually embrace being who I wanted to be. I started picking up stuff at school again, and I made friends. I started writing. I hung out with my dad more- of course, watched so much Spiderman and read so many comics. I managed to graduate high school early. Now I'm at university. I graduate soon. I took up Biology and Chemical Engineering. And I'm happy. I never really forgot you, or your writing which gave me so much comfort. I logged back on AO3 recently and was super happy to still see you writing. I just knew I had to reach out. Now I apologize if this is like weird, but I just had to put this out there. Thank you, really- thank you for your warm response and the art you put into the world. I don't think you'd even remember my comment on your work or this small interaction, but to me, it made a whole lot of difference. I really hope you're well, and continue to be. I can't believe I made a tumblr account just for this qwq XOXO

BRO I REMEMBER YOU. When your comment came in, I was 17-years-old, living more in the world of my writing than reality, right about to enter university, and even if I was half-joking I was also low-key dead serious that you were literally Peter Parker. I was, and continue to be, incredibly impressed by you. I think I might have told my sister about you in a sort of like, dang, there are some brilliant and crazy people in the world, and they're reading my fics for some reason sort of way.

I'm doing very well! I've grown closer to my family, built lovely friendships, and am also set to graduate university (perhaps predictably, I'm a literature major). As weird as this might sound in turn, a great deal of my confidence and growth was built by comments like yours. There's nothing half as sweet as the portion of someone's life given to you because they saw a bit of their story in yours, and that glimpse of someone else's reality opens up the possibilities for mine. No matter the wonderful little interaction we had, it has been meaningful and a pleasure for me. You've given me a great deal of warmth as well.

Congratulations on the rebuilt confidence, the new things you've learned, the friends you've made, your seriously incredible academic achievements, and the many other delights that I'm sure you've attained. You really have worked diligently, relaxed peacefully (I hope!), and lived wonderfully. Good job, and I hope you continue to live well <3

[nataliealynlind]

queen america sentence starters

episode 5: psychological warfare

"do you know how many times texas has threatened to secede?"

"so important everywhere"

"he has all the vibes of a sash chaser"

"i really hate meet and greets"

"she may seem nice, but that's only because she's good at this"

"she has this ability to make every person feel like she's speaking only to them"

"you will not hang out with that girl"

"she can't keep wobbling around like some baby giraffe"

"when did rich people get together and decide kitchen islands needed to be 30 feet long"

"everything okay? you just seem ... happy"

"she's not the type to change her schedule for family"

"don't let her start messing with your eyebrows or nothing"

"we've been literally telling everyone how you used to work here- you're our claim to fame!"

"they're being really strict with you, huh?"

"i had to get totally naked for a spray tan"

"but on the upside- my ass looks awesome"

"my parents definitely miss having you over for dinner"

"no matter what happens, when all this is over, we'll be here waiting for ya"

"hopefully- hopefully- who knows what'll happen at nationals"

"you should just be so proud of yourself for making it to state level"

"you're late- is there a boy or something?"

"i'm sorry are you under the impression that we're friends who joke about their personal lives with each other?"

"for the record- i'm allowed to be late. you're not"

"are you using the literal meaning of the word science right now?"

"walk across the goddamn room"

"makes it look like you're in a gap commercial"

"you want it to look like you're so goddamn beautiful and graceful that the person looking at you might think they're hearing the music in their head- that maybe you inspired the music into existence"

"maybe you inspired the music into existence"

"however bad you think you are multiply that by three"

"i hate the thought of being stuck on a boat with a bunch of strangers"

"she probably just wants to spend time with you"

"i'd like to put you on a boat where you can't run away from me"

"i really like you... a little bit"

"do i need to explain further or do you still not understand the logic?"

"don't pretend you don't know what i'm talking about"

"this may shock you, but i don't remember every conversation we've ever had"

"those were important conversations"

"you enjoy it too much- until you don't"

"you are such a little idiot sometimes"

"you'd be miserable- all three of you"

"he'd really be a terrible father, wouldn't he?"

"and you my sweet girl, would be a terrible mother"

"like i said back then- people like you and me- not meant for parenthood"

"the yellow's gonna make (name) look like a skinny little banana"

"i know what it is i'm asking why you're wearing it?"

"i don't really drink-"

"well you will tonight"

"the prep schools in dallas played the prep schools in tulsa"

"plus a bunch of us went to camp together"

"you have my full attention"

"okay i'm not that needy"

"we were barely even together to be honest"

"and you didn't try to push her down a staircase- good man"

"it wasn't with the right person, but it's still my kid you know?"

"regardless of what i think of her mother, which is very little"

"you're a very nice man"

"you look terrified- it's okay- this room is terrifying"

"those guys- they look so judgmental"

"who's that pillow for- it's so tiny- why would anyone want a pillow that small"

"let's start over- i'm name- this is my parents house- i have nothing to do with how they decorated it"

"if you need anything- like- at all- call me, okay?"

"it's not like i'd have sex with your dad to get in your head"

"girls do that?"

"she was taking pictures of you and name in the hallway"

"this whole process is crazy- and lonely... we need friends"

"i'm glad i'm not the only one who thinks that"

"to me all of this sorta feels like a vacation in a very different life than mine.

"i'm almost scared to want any of it too bad."

"oh my god i bet you were so cute in your little outfit"

"listen to me- this is a launching pad. you just have to play the game."

"look at 90% of news anchors in every major city. what do they have in common? pageants"

"i'm not good at this stuff like you are. i don't know how to say the right thing all the time."

"i wasn't born good at this- i trained for an embarrassingly long time."

"you'll get better- and then life can be whatever you want"

"oh no i've had 11 shots- this is what i'm like when i'm hammered"

[jrosa82fanfics]

Youthful Mistakes

BruJay Rated E has underage Bruce (age 15), second hand embarrassment via bad flirting, incest discussed but also batcest, and gratuitous thirsting over Jason. Smut is under the cut so feel free to read the first chunk cause it's sex free though heavy on the other stuff. *Warning Note: Bruce makes some hetero assumptions about himself that results in misgendering Jason (it's not malicious but just in case you're sensitive to that in any form...)

------------------------------------

When he opens his eyes, he doesn't realize that anything is wrong. He wakes up in his room and for a moment thinks it's the same one that he left behind. The decoration is the most obvious and first giveaway, from the items on his nightstand to the color of his bedsheets. Everything's just a little bit off.

He used to sleep with navy colored sheets, and instead he finds himself in pitch black ones. The items on his night's stand are different from the ones he left behind. And as if that isn't enough, they're placed oddly, in places he wouldn't want them. Like if he reached out he wouldn't be able to reach every single item, the way he usually would. The addition of a strangely out of place bottle doesn't make much sense either.

He doesn't know what to think of it and proceeds to get out of bed. The second his feet touch the slippers he knows that something is really wrong. At fifteen he considers himself quite grown up, but he knows that he wouldn't wear slippers two sizes too big. He looks around for his belongings. Before he allows panic to creep in he calls out for Alfred. If anyone can fix things it's his butler and only family member. 

“Master Bruce what's-” The man cuts himself off as he takes a look at his young ward.

He's surprised as well, not expecting the years of extra age on the other man's face as he walks in. Before they can really get into the details of what's going on, another voice comes through the door followed by a dark haired blue eyed man saunterring into the room.

“Hey B I know you-” he cuts himself off the way Alfred did, though his face shows much more of the shock he feels. 

Bruce doesn't know this strange man but he refuses to deal with the crazy situation while wearing pajamas.

“Why don't I meet you both downstairs to discuss things over breakfast?” He says the question coming out as more of a command.

Both men agree and when Bruce drags homeless into the bathroom he's just happy to find it doesn't look too different. He quickly gets ready and heads down the stairs, noting odd differences as he makes his way through the house. The thing that stands out is the rooms. Growing up most of the rooms were empty, and while many still are he noticed several in the family wing happened to be occupied.

He wonders what this could mean thinking it unlikely that so many strangers could invade his house overnight. When he arrives at the breakfast table he's shocked to find not only Alfred and the stranger from before but also a horde of other young adults. He quickly seats himself at the head of the table and begins his interrogation.

“ Who are you people? He asks.

The stranger from before starts. We're kind of your family. We don't know what happened to you but Bruce, our Bruce isn't a child.

“I’m not a child, I'm fifteen years old” he interrupts. 

“Fifteen, right,” the man says with a smirk on his face, “but he's significantly older than that. So I'm sure you can understand how bizarre it is for us all to see you like this.”

“Maybe we should tell him our names,” says a blonde girl in a bright purple sweater.She looks exhausted, though they all do now that he looks at them.

“Right, well I'm Dick,” the stranger- Dick- starts before going around the table. Bruce can't imagine having so many children and wonders where his wife is. Obviously some of the kids can't possibly be his biologically, the idea of having so many is just absurd. But either they're his step-children or he and his wife adopted them.

Before he can ask about the details Duke derails him by asking “ Okay but how does B get turned into a teen? I feel like we should have noticed that after patrol or heard him mention getting hit by magic or something.”

Dick gets a pensive look, before Tim pipes up “He was patrolling with Jay last night, anything could have happened while they were out.”

Bruce wonders what they're talking about and interrupts. “Wait, magic? Patrolling? What are you talking about? Am I a police officer or something?”

They all pause and look at one another before Damian explains. 

“ No father, obviously your dreams of becoming a crime-fighting vigilante have finally paid off. Here you are some twenty years into the future, and not only do you fight crime as Batman, you also have a team of mostly incompetent sidekicks, who are supporting you. Plus me, as I'm currently your Robin.”

Pandemonium erupts at the table as coffee is placed down and breakfast is forgotten. Everyone is shooting over one another about how they aren't incompetent or how bad someone else is. It's all a bit overwhelming, but Bruce figures that's what having a big family is like. He's never had one before, but he supposes all things considered, he got himself a pretty nice one. They're a fun bunch of people, although he can't imagine dealing with them on a daily basis.

He supposed having a wife to help calm them down makes things easier. Then he remembers the mysterious J they mentioned earlier. Could this perhaps be the wife he's looking for? After all Dick referred to him as B, so maybe that's just how they refer to their parents. They might not want to be going around calling them mom and dad, not comfortable yet as they're more recently adopted, he's not sure. But he figures, it doesn't hurt to ask about the woman's whereabouts.

“So where is J? Maybe that's where our answers lie.”

“Hard to say Jay likes to disappear and do whatever before showing back up on a whim,” Dick responds.

Bruce doesn't like the sound of such a flighty woman but he supposed she must have redeeming qualities. Before he can ask more questions a gorgeous man storms in. Bruce had never thought men were beautiful before, but the tall, broad shouldered man with green-blue eyes and black curly hair can only be described as beautiful. He feels his palms sweat and checks to make sure he isn't drooling as the man removes his leather jacket to reveal tight fitting gear that accentuates his muscular torso. Bruce is brought back to reality when the fork holding a bite of breakfast platters back onto the plate.

The man looks up and meets Bruce's eye before a look of surprise crosses his face. It's quickly gone as he asks “What the hell did you idiots do to B?”

The sound of his deep gravelly voice had heat in Bruce's chest expanding to cover his face. He can't imagine how he met such a dazzling man.

“Sorry I didn't catch your name? Who are you?”

“Oh, that's Jason. Like I said you were patrolling with him last night.”

Bruce can't believe his luck. This was the J they had spoken of. Before thinking about it too hard he asked “What's someone as gorgeous as you doing fighting crime?”

He wants the floor to open up and swallow him as the stupidest line he's ever heard comes out of his mouth. The rest of the table seems to feel the same as the sound of various people choking follows his question. Jason is lucky enough not to have anything to choke on, but he does turn a startling shade of red. Alfred on the other hand lets out a disapproving ‘Master Bruce’ at the comment.

“Do you not know who I am?” Jason finally asks as the table settles down a bit.

“My husband of course. I mean, why wouldn't I want to be married to someone so perfect. Besides our children made it clear that-”

“Actually B, we did no such thing” Dick interrupts at the look Jason sends him, “Jason not your husband he's your son.”

The words hit Bruce like a sucker punch. The horror of being attracted to his own flesh and blood causing revulsion to bubble up. He doesn't know what to do. He can't possibly back track, although he supposes not having made any salacious comments helps. What doesn't help is that he's still imagining what Jason would look like bare beneath him.

“I'm so sorry,” he says, not knowing if future Bruce feels the same way he does, but knowing that he doesn't want to ruin his own life like that.

“It's fine, you clearly didn't know and it's not like you hit on Damian or something.”

“Don't even joke about that Todd.” Damian calls out.

Bruce isn't sure if it's really fine, but brushes it off.

“Moving away from the traumatic moment, do you not remember anything from last night?” Duke asks Jason. 

“Nothing. We had a normal patrol then parted ways. No one even had a chance to use magic or some weird toxin on him.”

“I guess we'll have to run a few tests in the cave then,” says Dick. 

They all seem to silently agree and finish breakfast. For the next few hours Bruce gets to explore the Batcave while he waits for the results. After they find something in his system Dick and Tim immerse themselves in finding a cure. The others head to sleep and eventually swap places with Tim and Dick.

When Jason returns, so do Bruce's feelings of shame. The man is still as attractive as he had been that morning, and even in jeans and a t-shirt he looks like a model. Bruce tries his best to keep his eyes off the man but after being caught a few times looking Jason seems to lose patience and comes over.

“Look I get that this morning was awkward but if it helps I'm pretty sure you've seen everyone do something way more embarrassing. Also, we would have found something to tease you over regardless. So, if you want to be normal and just come join Steph and I, we promise we're not going to bite.”

Bruce tried his best to not stare at Jason's chest while he's talking but with their height difference all he can do is valiantly try to take in what Jason says as his chest moves with each breath he takes. 

“Y-yeah sounds good,” he manages to stutter out while making eye contact and then follows Jason towards the Batcomputer. Being behind him isn't helping his hard-on, as the man's perfectly sculpted ass is in perfect view as they walk.

Bruce feels like this is a punishment for something. Before long Jason stands to get a drink, and the second he's gone Steph speaks up.

“You really need to be less obvious about your feelings for him. This is a house full of detectives and You're going to be teased relentlessly, if you keep this up.”

“What are you talking about? I'm not- What do you even mean? I'm not being obvious.”

“Sure you were, I mean, first of all those comments this morning. Wow, I’ve never seen someone have so much audacity with so little knowledge. Not to mention the way you're practically drooling over Jay.”

“I'm not! He's my son so obviously I'm not interested.” He knows the indignation in his voice isn't really helping him, but he can't help but to lash out.

“Okay,” Stephanie says “first of all, he's not biologically your son, you just adopted him when he was like 13. So, it's not as bad as like, being interested in Damian or something.”

“Plus,” she continues “everyone knows Jason's liked you since forever, it's just that you're so unapproachable he's never bothered.”

Bruce feels significantly better at the knowledge that Jason isn't his flesh and blood, but doesn't like the way he's been described. Why would future Bruce be unapproachable? Wouldn't he want Jason to feel comfortable making a move.

He doesn't know what his deal is, but a plan to seduce Jason into a relationship begins forming.

‐--------------------------

Later that night they still haven't found a cure and have tried calling a magic user in to help. This Zatanna is unavailable though, which helps Bruce quite a bit. The group goes out patrolling while he stays in ‘watching a movie’. In reality he's preparing to get Jason to give him a chance.

The man had agreed to stay in the manor until Bruce is back to normal and Bruce is grateful to Stephanie for her support with that. She managed to get Jason to stay without having Bruce expose his interest. He understood why future Bruce liked her, her sneakiness was definitely endearing.

When Jason finally drags himself to his room Bruce is waiting for him. He was too nervous to do something bold like wait naked on the man's bed, but he did wait in a robe. It hung to his knees and was silky and black. He had researched how sex between two men worked, with Steph helping him figure out modern technology.

He hasn't been sure if Jason would want to bottom or not so he had just brought the lube he found in his nightstand and hoped he even got that far.

Jason entered shirtless and wearing only a pair of low hanging sweatpants. The sight of him had Bruce nervous of being rejected, but despite his trepidation he stayed awkwardly seated on the bed facing the door. Jason barely startled before asking “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I- Well I came to- to see if you might be interested? In spending the night with me?” Bruce wishes he could face-palm without making things worse. He had never stuttered as much as he had in the less than twenty-four hours that he had known Jason. He was starting to realize that future Bruce might be ‘unapproachable’ because he knew he wouldn’t be able to string a  single coherent sentence in Jason’s presence.

Despite he verbal blunder Jason seemed to consider his offer before saying, “Fuck it, I’ll probably never get the chance again.” With that he made his way over to the bed, gently pushed Bruce until he lay flat on his back, and then proceeded to kiss him breathless.

Bruce had kissed a few girls before, but the contrast of having a stubbled jaw and skilled technique made the experience something completely alien. He didn’t want to fuck his one shot up, and froze. Jason pulled back to check on him.

“If you’ve changed your mind we can stop.”

“No! It’s not that I just…”

“Is this your first time?” Jason looked a bit apprehensive so Bruce was quick to reassure.

“No, it’s just that I’ve only ever kissed girls. It’s just different and I got nervous.”

“If you're sure,” Jason said, his voice hesitant and skeptical but he still kissed Bruce again.

When their lips reunited Bruce was determined to use his limited knowledge to prove himself and began kissing back, making sure to not lay there stiff and motionless. 

The kissing continued as Jason crawled onto the bed, his bulk brushing but being laid fully on Bruce. While he liked the kissing Bruce figured he should encourage things along, making sure Jason knew he hadn’t changed his mind. He began by placing his hands on Jason’s waist, his fingers digging into the soft skin littered with scars.

As his hands shifted down to Jason’s hips he started dipping his fingers under the waistband of the sweats, dragging them down over the curve of Jason’s ass. He stopped for a moment just basking in the feeling of the flesh under his hands before fully pushing the pants down to Jason’s knees along with his underwear.

The man pulls back, quickly shucking off the clothes before opening Bruce’s robe. He feels a sudden spike of self-consciousness, unsure if his body compares to the one Jason knows, but in the end he has nothing to fear. The feeling of lips kissing down his chest soothes any insecurity away, and the bolt of arousal that having Jason nip at his inner thigh produces has him panting and writhing on the sheets.

He’s pushed further onto the bed as Jason climbs back on, and before he can get too distracted he pulls the bottle of lube from his robe pocket and throws the scrap of fabric off the bed in a ball.

“How do you want to do this?” he asks, knowing that regardless he’d enjoy every moment with Jason.

“Tempting as it would be to finally have you buried inside me, I think I’ll top this time. Older you might not be as willing to bottom if he gives me a second chance.”

“He sounds kinda boring.”

“Nah he’s just not comfortable with feeling vulnerable, and it’s hard not to understand his reason.”

“I can’t imagine not being able to trust you.”

“Yeah, well you don’t really know me.” This last statement seems to make Jason’s interest wane in their activities so Bruce is quick to pull him back into the moment.

He pulls Jason forward and presses their lips together in another kiss, “I don’t care what you’ve done, I know that what I feel for you is greater than that.” He knows the words sound hollow, but there’s this feeling in his chest that it’s true that somehow older him feels that way.

Regardless of whether he believes Bruce or not Jason seems to focus on the present as he continues their kissing and begins slicking up his fingers with the lube. Bruce is quick to arrange the pillows to get into the best position, his lips breaking away from Jason’s for a few moments. Finally he feels ready and with a nod of consent Jason places his fingers at his rim.

He assumes that the man will push in right away and tries his best to relax his body, which just makes him feel tighter and tenser in his perception. Instead he feels the digit circling his entrance, gently dipping in less than an inch and then pulling back out.

The feeling of something finally being pushed inside for the first time is startling but not painful. As the first finger becomes two then three, Bruce starts to relax and trust Jason to care for him. When he feels like he might come from the fingering alone Jason pulls out and lines himself up.

He drips more lube onto his palm and slathers his hard length with it before pushing in until his tip has breached Bruce’s rim. The thrust of Jason's cock head into his body has Bruce clawing the man's back and sides. It's rougher than Bruce expected but he can't feel anything other than completion as Jason bottoms out, the lube doing a great deal of the heavy lifting in terms of his comfort..

They kiss passionately as Bruce adjusts to the feeling of being full, then Jason begins thrusting shallowly. The movement has his chest, which is already pressed against Bruce's face, bouncing in the most titillating display.

He cups the man's tits, unable to stop himself from sticking the nipple of one into his mouth while his fingers pinched the other. The bud perked up into a sharp point, the skin becoming rosy as Jason thrust into the hilt and had Bruce seeing stars from how good it felt.

He knew Jason was hitting his prostate but the clinical knowledge that it would feel good was nothing compared to the reality. He doesn't remember releasing Jason's nipples, but he knows he must have as he throws his head back while coming. He comes back to himself with his arms wrapped around Jason's waist as the man keeps giving into him in brutal hard thrusts that have him whimpering in oversensitivity.

When Jason finally cums, the feeling of hot cum flooding his ass pushes Bruce over the edge and makes him cum a second time. He didn't think such a thing was possible, but as they lay in the afterglow Jason teases him over having a ‘dry orgasm’.

Bruce cuddles close to his Jason, not bothering to respond as he falls asleep, head pillowed on the man's plush chest.

When he wakes the memories of the previous day and more importantly the night before flood adult Bruce's mind. He lays across Jason's chest, the man's warm arms wrapped around his waist. He wonders if he should get up and face the music but decides that he can deal with the consequences later.

-------------------------------

Later comes far too soon for Bruce’s liking as Dick, of all people, storms in frantically searching for Bruce. He freezes at the sight of him returned to his adult self and then quickly back pedals out sensing that he doesn’t want anything to do with what’s about to unfold. Dick’s entrance after all has woken Jason.

The look of confusion on the man’s face turns to mild alarm at the realization of just who he’s wrapped like an octopus around. Before he can freak out and shove Bruce away, Bruce speaks.

“I’m not mad about yesterday. And yes I remember what happened last night so you don’t have to worry.”

“Are you sure? Because it feels like I took advantage-”

“No, of course not. I’ve…” Bruce remembers his thought from the previous night about how hard speaking around Jason can be at times and reflects that he’ll need to improve on that. Well that and talking about feelings.

He figures he can only win one battle at a time so he stumbles his way through a confession of feelings.

“I uh know that our relationship has been strained or complicated but I, well the truth is that a lot of that is my fault-”

“A lot? How about all of it!” Jason interrupts.

Bruce glares at him before replying “It’s hard enough to talk about feelings without being interrupted. So if you could shut up for five minutes I’ll finish my love confession and you can yell at me about my flaws.”

“Now,” he continues after his mini-rant “as I was saying I-”

Jason interrupts him again, although he finds himself hard pressed to care as he’s kissed until he can barely breathe and then fucked into the mattress for the second time in the last twelve hours. As they lay in the afterglow he wonders if he can get a third round to finally have Jason riding him, it had been a fantasy of his for the last few weeks after all.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you to anyone who read this, I hope you enjoyed. Feel free to let me know if I forgot a warning, misspelled something etc. because today's been rough and my writing is taking the brunt of that.

Take care,

<3<3 J

PS: Want more content from me? I update this blog every Monday at 6pm EST and have 1 complete fic here and a second in progress (plus a few one-shots). My posts are queued so even if RL gets busy you will get updates.

NOW has a part 2:

[cyb3rscoups]

The Glory (5)

A/N: This is also posted to my ao3 account now (feelingalilwoozi) Enjoy!

"Do you think I'm crazy?"

The question seemed so vague in its context. Was she crazy? Was she really going too far?

If you hadn't been there to witness it. To just water the situation down to kids being kids. If you had never had the displeasure of seeing how her memories scarred her body, the answer would be yes. Okoye might of lost it a little on the way.

But if you knew her story down to the details. If you had seen it all and if you felt like Attuma did right now, Okoye was far from crazy. If anything, her plan was too soft on her bullies.

"Attuma?" She called out to the man again unaware that her voice of reason had just been shoved down into a dark abyss. All he could see were those marks, the bruises, the scars.

Was it possible that his whole body vibrated with anger when she began her story? His ears rung and his eyes couldn't tear away from her.

His knuckles went a ghostly white from his grip on to the couch, his breathing heavy and his leg tapping against the floor.

"I'll kill him. I'll kill all of them. Y-you just tell me what you want done and I swear-" His words were cut by her cold hands to his cheeks, almost shocking him back into his senses.

"You don't have to kill anyone yet. Just use the people around you right now. Namor, M'Baku. They're pretty high up right?" Attuma nodded, gulping down whatever protests he could conjure up against her.

"I'll do it. Whatever you want."

"Good." Okoye picked up her pile of clothes and started to pull the garments back onto her body as he stared. "And quit flirting with me. I need an executioner, not a boyfriend."

"How about both?" He chuckled as she pulled on her shoes.

"This isn't a joke, Attuma. Are you in or not?"

He wished he met her before all of this. He wandered what she was like before she was hurt. Maybe sweet, a little too nice to strangers but she didn't care. Was she carefree and confident? Would she be more open to him if this wasn't the role he played in her story?

"In. All in." He muttered and she nodded with a sigh.

"Good night. I will text you when I need you."

------

Revenge was tiring. Okoye wished someone had told her the fact before she became so hell bent on it. Sleep had been nothing but a distant memory to her these days and as she waited for Shuri to pull into the parking lot, she felt it overtake her for a split second until-

Tap Tap Tap against her driver window and Shuri's beaming smile as Okoye jerked awake.

"Don't do that." Okoye scolded, her voice half muffled as she rolled down her window for the girl.

"I've got something for you." Shuri passed the digital camera through the window and leaned against it. "Looks like old habits die hard."

"Oh gross!" Okoye grimaced at the image, obviously taken from outside of Erik's shop as Valentina embraced him in a loving kiss.

Shuri agreed the image was hard to look at without puking up her guts but it was majorly helpful nonetheless. Okoye rolled her eyes as she continued to scroll through the images.

The two had kept the affair going since high school and they seemed mighty comfortable in it too. Though the differences in their lives were clear as day.

After they would part ways, Valentina got to go back to her picture perfect family and play loyal wife in her mansion. Erik would go back to his condo and smoke his life and worries away as his heart ached for her.

He wanted to tear Everett apart for taking what he wanted as his and Okoye would give him that oppurtunity.

"Thanks Shuri."

"Anytime. Oh! I brought dinner. Jerk chicken platter from the place on 8th." Shuri ran to her car and pulled out the food, passing it over to Okoye.

"Thank you."

"And get some sleep. Revenge can't thrive if you're sleep deprived."

Okoye was grateful for Shuri. Since the day she knew her name, Shuri had always cared for Okoye, making sure she was eating and getting enough sleep. Shuri looked up to Okoye in a way. She was her savior from a dark place after losing her family.

When Okoye expressed her craving for revenge, Shuri was happy to tag along and help.

"I met with the muscle brain today. Showed him my scars." Okoye shrugged as if Shuri's eyes hadn't jumped from their sockets at the information.

"What did he say?"

"He wants to help. He fights at W'Kabi's club. His brother is the director of the hospital Aneka was taken to back then. His best friend is chief of police." Okoye started to open the platter of food, inspecting its contents.

"So he can do some dirt if you really need him to." Shuri's smile grew. "I like him already."

"Well, as helpful as he may be. He gets so anxious and angry all the time. He's almost unpredictable. With everything he knows now, I'm afraid he'll do something premeditated and I won't be able to bail him out of it."

A chill went down her spine at the thought. Attuma could either be the end of her plan or be the key. She hated that uncertainty about him. She almost felt guilty for it especially because she knew his fascination of her ran wild.

"Do you want to trust him?"

"Yes. I think I'm gonna need him after all."

"Then let him prove himself."

------

The house was quiet. Too quiet. She could a pin drop at this rate. Guess it was fitting for three in the morning. She swirled the contents of her glass around as she paced the living room in her slippers.

Okoye. Okoye. Okoye. Damn that bitch. Valentina could barely remember what she did to her back then. Of course there was the curling iron, but she wasn't special.

Every one she stepped on got it and more. What was so special about Okoye?

Her phone commenced a shrill ringing from the couch. She mumbled a curse as she grabbed it and pressed it to her ear. "What the fuck took you so long?!"

"Sorry. I was closing up the shop."

"Whatever. What did you find?" Valentina sat on the couch, biting at her fingers.

"Look, Val. Whatever you are trying to do-" Erik sighed but was cut off as always by her sneer.

"Erik, not now. Tell me what you found."

"She was just hanging out with this guy all day. Dammit."

"Boyfriend? Little Koko pulled a man." She almost giggled.

"I don't think so. They didn't do much. Just walked, talked. They went back to his place and she left within like 20 minutes."

"So just sex then..." Valentina sucked her teeth and Erik rolled his eyes on the other end of the phone.

"I don't have my connections with the cops anymore or the military. Left that life a long time ago." He sighed. Valentina tsked through the reciever.

"Neither do I. But what are we supposed to do? Sit around while she plots on us? She knows my kid, Erik. She knows exactly how to get into her vulnerable little mind."

"You know, excuse me for not wanting to hear about your kid with that jackass but that's all I know. Goodnight." A click and the call ended. It only took a second for Erik's phone to be thrown to the ground in pure aggravation.

God, he was really starting to hate it in Boston.

@tvreadsandsleep @xblackreader @pilesofpillows @faatxma @loeysaeri @hottie-hotch

[thelongestway]

The older I get, the less I'm interested in high art, and the more I am interested in the art that's done as a trade. Real art isn't found in galleries, at least not until it's been a couple of decades and time and the esteemed historians and curators have done their work in sorting the archives. But right now? Real art is done the same way it's always been. It's the commissions you're doing for your clients, deadlines and weird asks and corrections and expectations and all. That's been around forever, just look at all the little donators in church art. It's the technical pieces you're doing for a huge project - I can fully imagine "team of videogame/movie N" used in the next few centuries in the same way as "workshop of artist N" is now. It's the music written for a purpose - look at all the classical ballroom dancing, where the music is basically instructions to execution in audio form, and look at video game combat music, they're the same thing. Look at Eric Satie and lounge music, movie soundtracks and opera and symphonies. It's the writing communities who share editing skills and working as sounding boards for each other - so many more than there were in the past, and man, would all of those previous writers have enjoyed them! And they would've been in awe at the average quality level - things that were the pinnacle of achievement once are now common knowledge. It's the quilt patterns you're doing, and the little dioramas, and the pottery, and all of the crafts you make because you want your or someone else's home to be just a bit more beautiful. It's architecture, and design, and the cosplays and prop artistry and make up artistry and photography, and all the other fields that I only have a passing knowledge of. I mean, miniature painting! There's a whole hobby that creates tiny statues and/or paints them for a living! And it's not just the professionals. It's everyone. It's the raw pieces made by people just starting out, and the crazy intricate stuff that professionals make to stretch their wings. It's using friends, family, coworkers, lovers, strangers for inspiration, and having their likenesses be recognized decades later by historians. It's making art of the fantastical and the everyday - all of that has been done in the art process before, and everyone who is doing art is participating in some lofty tradition or another, even if you're just writing your first fanfic. You probably just won't know which one for a few years. This is where real art is. This is where the artistic process actually happens. This is where people learn, and innovate, and where art historians of later centuries will be actually looking. Ultimately, high art is just art. A single wave in a roaring ocean. And, truth be told, not even the most interesting one. Art is at its best when it engages with life. And while that might not necessarily be found in a trade or amateur context, it's still more likely than in isolated, art-only milieus.

[voicesofadistressedsoul]

October 4, 2024

It's the day after Heartstopper released, and to say that I feel like how Nick and Charlie were during the first half is an understatement. I do this thing where after I watch something that is sad I take on that personality. Whether it's that I realize how shit my life is, or it's the kind of attention seeking where you think a camera is on you, and if you don't show signs of struggling then people might not take you seriously. Regardless, I have been feeling like shit.

Its been a long time coming, and I'm not so sure why I'm wondering where it came from. Money problems are the root of all evil, because how dare we give people a livable wage so that we can eat and pay rent. Insane.

Before I get into anything truly crazy, and if there are even any people that are going to be reading this (as I will post tags), I feel like I should introduce myself. My name is Anon, not that it's my actually name, it's just how you will refer to me. I am going to share as little information about myself as possible. It's the internet, and it's crazy at how obscure things can be traced back to you, and for some of the things that I wish to talk about, its better to have that barrier between my life and strangers online. Growing up on the internet you realize the comfort that can come from people not knowing who you are. My pronouns are they/them, though I really don't care. I am going to be turning 23 soon and I have 2 cats that will also remain nameless. That is all you get to know about me.

I truly don't know why I am writing this on the internet, I think I am just trying to live my best TV guru life where the star of the show is struggling, but it's only when they discover her hidden tumblr page do they realize the signs were all there. Not that I am going to do anything, like I said I have cats that need me and I need them. Can't imagine being anywhere without their presence in my life. I also want people to know that they're not alone, even if it's just one person who knows that another person is feeling just as shit as they are, that's all I want. Call it the older daughter, middle sibling treatment where we know how shit people can feel, and it was our job to put people back together (or to stay out of the way cause we were made to feel like we were always in the way). Truthfully the picking and choosing which sibling has the most family trauma from getting forgotten is all horseshit to me (though it is the middle one).

Anyways, now that that long intro is over, let's get into the main topic of the day. Heartstopper.

I align myself more with Isaac than I care to tell anyone really. It's not an easy topic to breach when you don't even know yourself. I've had crushes, sure, and I think it's why I really want a Solitaire spinoff is so we can see that kind of figuring out without the main topic being love. While I love the love!, it's also just as important as to see that not everyone wants that, or can even feel that. I have had crushes and boyfriends and one girlfriend, and I adore women and think I need to be committed to a woman to fully know if I do want that kind of thing in my life. I am completely okay with being alone, and if I am asexual and aromantic, I think I need to cover all my options. I think I'm more demi where I need to know someone for a long time before I can start loving them. Which sucks when that is not how society works right now. Its all "date someone and then tell them you love them a few months later", and that entire concept is just so weird to me. Like don't you date someone because you love them? Anyways, I think that is a huge part of why I am feeling this weight all over me.

Uncertainty hurts, and its alot of what I am feeling right now. I am scared for the future because I'm 23 and not in school, dropped out actually, I am in a minimum wage job, moved out, no car, and in debt already because of messed up taxes and being fired from 2 jobs this year, so I was on payments from the government that I have to give back, plus school loans that was all for nothing. So money issues, and then being lonely when I don't want to be, but I also am scared of being in a relationship because my last big and long one ended and I haven't been able to long another person like that since. Feeling like I am letting people down when I know that I am trying my best, but feeling like my best isn't good enough and I am one bad day away from a "we need to talk" conversation. No one tells you how hard it is growing up being in an environment of 'your best isn't good enough' and then being surrounded by people who just want to see you be the best version of yourself and wouldn't get upset with you for trying, and trying to rewire your destructive brain to accept that view. It's hard, and it's hard to have those conversations that showcase that you're trying, and then trying to self-therapize yourself while looking to websites and pinterest for quotes that make you feel better.

I've also been listening to Aurora, her music has really been helping me get through this time as her music makes me cry when I'm sad. It itches that part of my brain that just wants to run away from all the pressure of being someone. This world is so hard set on being someone, and if you fall anywhere short of that then you're treated as if you have failed life. And if you want to be someone, the realization that you're nothing but ordinary hurts. But, when I am feeling that way I look at the people around me, who would classify themselves as the ordinary, and I look at them and I see anything but. I see them being the reason that I keep trying to get better, and them being the literal light in my life. To me, they are anything but ordinary. I remember the little moments of someone that I look up to, a streamer that I've been watching for 2 years, and how every time someone tells him that he helps them get through the day and he treats himself as ordinary, but he's not. I think about how he knows my name in his chat, and that people in his fandom know me on social media, and are nothing but loving and encouraging, and that they are not ordinary either, and they create and put so much good into this world to even be classified as that. No one is just ordinary, but it doesn't help the voice in my head that is telling me that I am the only ordinary thing in this world. That all of my love in art and writing and reading and video creating amounted to nothing but unfinished projects.

I think I just need to get diagnosed and it will all be better, but I don't know what my insurance covers and no one wants to diagnose and overweight presenting-woman.

That's all I am going to dump about today. See you tomorrow, maybe not.

Just know you're not alone,

Anon <3

[snuggles-and-struggles]

"Index" of my spicyhoney ideas and AUs, in no particular order

11-15/???

✮ Long Distance

Another twofer. The first was about Edge and Stretch being childhood friends who wind up separated when Stretch's family moves. They stay in touch, though gradually not as frequently as they get older, until they finally meet again as adults, and boy, if they thought their crushes on each other were bad before... lmao

The other one I'd actually started for a month prompt thing either last year or the year before. Edge and Stretch meet in an online chat room (or similar). They wind up unlikely friends, growing closer over the years until they finally meet in person and...yeah, there's no denying the sparks that fly.

~

✮ Swap > Fell

A bit of a weird one. It's like, half spicyhoney, half spicybbq? After Edge and Red move to the house in Snowdin, they're about 11 and 16, respectively. While Red is setting up the machine in the basement, something goes wrong and there's an explosion, of sorts. As he’s coming to, he realizes there are now two strangers, other skeleton monsters, in their basement with him.

Stretch and Blue get yeeted into Fell at young ages. They're only a little older than the uf brothers, so they wind up staying with Edge and Red until they can manage to fix the machine and go home. That doesn't happen. As time drags on, they begin incorporating more, and...it's not pleasant, but honestly it's easier on all of them having each other.

Eventually Stretch and Blue change their nicknames to Slim and Viper, (though in the privacy of their home, Edge and Red still call them their old nicknames usually), and of course, Edge and "Slim" wind up together, how could they not?

I was thinking of incorporating some cherryberry (/whatever the uf sans/sf sans ship name is) but for some reason I also got the idea of Viper winding up with Blaze (uf Grillby)??

I honestly can't remember if they'd surface or not, but I do know I've thought about mv scenarios where Slim meets a more proper us Papyrus and gets a little bent out of shape about it, feels guilty, like Edge should be with him instead, etc etc, similar to Rust's sentiments in the horrorswap ideas where he feels like he’s not good enough but Edge is so obviously crazy about him and they make each other happy but eh, that's menthol illness babey!

~

✮ Missed Connections

This one is like au minesweeper. There's seven million different versions, but the overarching theme is that Edge and Stretch had met underground thanks to the machine. Either they didn't get along at all or briefly dated, ending on a relatively sour note.

Many years later, after they've all surfaced, Stretch has made a decent life for himself, but Edge, well. He'd (usually) gradually become disconnected from all the others. No ones heard from him (usually) for years, until a chance meeting with Stretch.

The reason I say seven million is because I've rotated this one a lot, sometimes it's just like. Angst on top of angst with more angst sprinkled to taste. Other times it's just kinda sad and about the many ways life can kind of lead you down paths you'd never expect, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. I've never been able to settle on one concrete version I like, but frankly it's usually difficult to reach any sort of fitting happy ending in these ones.

~

✮ Movie star

Similar to the college one, I have a massive note for this that I. May or may not have posted somewhere on this blog?? Stretch is a famous actor. Has been since he was a teen, so he’s pretty used to it all by now. And he’s tired of it. He feels like almost impossible to build solid, new relationships without people either wanting to use him or be with him just for appearances. So. He tries anonymously online dating. Surprisingly, he actually meets someone, going a bit anonymous themself.

Over months, Stretch and Shade talk and become closer and closer, until eventually, Stretch asks if they could go out on a proper date. Shade is hesitant, but ultimately accepts, so long as Stretch is comfortable coming to his home for something casual, like a dinner date.

It goes incredibly well, but there's something odd about it all. Shade lives in an isolated cabin in the middle of the woods, and was much more anxious and shy in person. For the most part, Stretch shrugs it off as Shade just being a bit of a hermit, but eventually, he comes to find the rabbit hole goes a little deeper than expected...

~

✮ Mutant

Another one not too dissimilar to Missed Connections in that, I actually have a number of different versions of this bad boy, though they're usually more separate and self contained, just sort of based off similar concepts.

One of the first though starts similarly to the long distance au/fic idea. Edge and Stretch were childhood friends...but Edge had a lot of health problems, and his father didn't like him going out to play or people coming over very often, so as Edge got older, Stretch saw him less. He was a strange little kid, always had to wear a mask and never spoke, but he was sweet and him and Stretch got along fantastically.

Until one day, Edge's family disappeared. Stretch went to visit only to see a new family moving in to their (previous) house.

Many years passed, when, much to Stretch's shock, he got a call from Edge's brother, Red. Over the many years, Edge had become a terrible homebody, and Red was desperate to find something that might help him relax into being social again.

Stretch agrees, of course, and is actually quite looking forward to seeing Edge again, only...once he finally arrives after the trip halfway across the country, Red has some...extra info, for Stretch to keep in mind. It's then he learns about what Edge's father had done to him, turning him into a lab rat, the effects it's had on his body, and that's why he’s so closed off and shut in. And actually meeting him, yeah, Stretch could understand why...

Of course that doesn't change the way he feels. And even though Edge is resistant at first, it's not long before they've started rebuilding the close friendship they'd had before. Which of course becomes more, eventually.

[irastayshome]

Change requires courage, but not changing doesn't signify the lack of it. There are reasons beyond what my own thoughts can rationalise as to why I can't bring myself to hire a maid.. or continue in this job.. or move in with my parents.. or finally admit I am now single and behave like it.

A book I've been trying to read - keyword 'trying' because my mind can't seem to focus on anything cognitive for long these days - had a profound perspective. The unconscious mind has wisdom far beyond what the conscious mind dictates. If I were to give voice to some of these wisdom, it would sound so odd and misplaced, maybe even stupid. Like if I were to say that I do not wish to hire a maid to solve the daily struggle I have in getting enough sleep before going to work the next day because I was up doing dishes and laundry.. and justify it by my assertion that this space, confined by the walls that witnessed his decline and his demise and our arguments and our reconciliations and all the quiet moments that could easily be lost and swept away in memory.. it is sacred.

I know we do not bring anything or anyone to the ground with us when it is our time. To Him we belong and to Him we return. But allowing a stranger to step in, clean the mess and carnage left behind, someone who has no idea the significance of every receipt or broken household item or anything else one might sensibly decide to throw away without question.. it is too risky. We are still in a bubble.. where the slightest curve in the breeze makes us all unhinged and anxious about when it will all pop. When he will fully be gone from our lives.. when we will finally be forced to move on, even if we aren't ready to let go. How else would I explain all that sensibly, other than how I just did? It sounds like big allegories that may seem empty, but it really isn't.. not for me. Its even more concrete and real to me than a simple "a maid would solve all your sleep and caregiving struggles". The unconscious mind has a far more powerful effect on the will than the conscious mind. Its wisdom commands more respect than most of us are willing to give.

The job.. it's just a job honestly. Its for bills, and for escape, and for some semblance of achievement to keep me from spiraling into despair. But if I'm being truly honest, it's also to fight the loneliness I feel deep in my core. Not the kinda loneliness that makes me wake up heart racing after dreaming about being kissed so passionately and embraced so intensely that it broke my heart a little when I literally woke to reality - though this kind of loneliness I must admit is getting a little too much for comfort. The loneliness I feel deep down is not having anyone to hear what I feel about the genocide in Palestine, or about the political satire in PAP lately, or about my worries for AI taking over, or what I honestly feel about my 6 Yr old falling "in love" with his classmate. Its having a mate.. to laugh with, to muse with, to watch things you don't wanna watch alone with. Someone who just gets you, and accepts you wholly, and calls you out when necessary because they want you to win.. while they're right beside you.

So, in that manner, no. This job does not fight off this loneliness. It drains my bank accounts even more because my impaired mind keeps making lots of financial and ethical blunders, costing us so much more than if I were just unemployed. In terms of achievement and helping the less fortunate, nothing feels satisfying when your own house is on fire and you're not able to save your own family first. That's just how it is for me. Those boys are more important than anything else in the world now, and I'm completely replaceable at work, but not at home.

Sigh. Who are these musings even for. Are you reading this yang, somehow? You've always hated long texts from me.. why would you start liking it now right.. I really do feel like I'm going crazy sometimes.

[the-firebird69]

John remillard is sheriff it's rude to you and reckon you you are not going to make it and it did it again the same routine and had him defecate in public and it is a misdemeanor has to be witnessed by law enforcement and was not and we know because he was hidden and we don't have anything else to say he's not admitting here. It's not easy to anything I said but really you're trying to threaten them for global conquest and having to take a poo and we get rid of you cuz we can see you cuz you're saying it out loud and you threaten other stuff which is worse and you see it around surgery and to harm him and we go after you. Just not really illegal it's not his property so once he's fired they're going to take the tape down

Thor Freya

What a wimp and a crazy person and really you people are nothing to stop threatening them and you got separated you're walking around weakest crap playing a huge guy he's got super strength right in front of everyone as if you can't do something to stop you it's ridiculous there's just sit here and watch it so we can get at you you're aggravating the s*** out of us or walking it out of this it's obscene a joke. He knows you do it to us you harm me this you're always the space with this huge enemy he'd rather waste yourselves than do anything that's understood you don't even understand the math don't even have a calculator. Here it is he's after him to get a motorcycle he won't says it you proceed blind arrogant swine. We stick you now pull you in loser trump

Tim d.

I saw it outrageous he's dead. Sherrif tomorrow tried ok left and ohhh he's an idiot and dead wow ok wow. She's doing the job he's saying it..no. is. We hit him ok.

Mike tew

We saw it awful crew then we walk him do diagnosis. See he's our King ours ok

Frank Castle hardcastle

Duke Nukem Blockbuster it says it too and sleep in a dumpster that's been decontaminated cleanse and is sealed and has a fresh air supply and what's the point and it's not hot that's what it is and we worry about it and we know the same but really but boy these people take the case is tomorrow the event is tomorrow we hope so he's out of control there's a complete jerk

Today they're firing tons and tons of them and their little show isn't going to help them. Delaware 10 individuals who went out and we noted who they were a little bit and to gather people from the Miami area and come across Florida four of them have passed away and we started with ten houses. Five houses went out and four houses returned it's another round today during the day and then state it too. It says he's treated badly it's not a team member you guys want to take over and don't know anything about life and you don't have friends you don't have real family it's ridiculous to do that to someone the bag of f****** idiot and we are aware of that and it's absolutely true. They treated like a little more honest treated like a stranger and don't care you're not going to go anywhere cuz it's not really what works. Jason's going with you you carry all the tools in and out of the truck do the work he's just going to stand there and talk to his people on the phone and blow it up your ass you know it's not life it's not even spying it's ridiculous s*** that's b******* and I bet he doesn't do that but boy it's close our son says that and yeah that's what they're like so they can't see what other people do and a whole bunch of them are dead on the field. They're taking off right after breakfast they say and after that song they can't stand it and no it's not the singing like our son thought and daughter.

We're cleaning up the mess and we have to but he says I'm probably just get a sample you know how to do that sort of so we're after it you want to see how and it's not a mystery but it's going to take a while and we tested the other one didn't see it apparently noon in Case by noon.

There are other things happening here in punta Gorda being announced it and give Thor Freya a break, there are several people who are getting fired from their jobs here and John remillard is one it's a five remaining jobs in each town and the sheriff's position is sheriff prumel and he's not trying to his own and holding it against him and he's not kind to our son and he doesn't have a good reputation it's not working. I'm taking it out on him but really the max are and if they're planning to do it it's the Year of the cat and you got it from Vietnam and saying the Vietnamese to it but they found it it's the second one for real and they're not worried about it they should be but that's how it goes in the back world. It's not only him it's about 8% more to come up to about 94% from 85 so it's about 9% roughly and somewhere in there and they plan on doing it today the government positions in all of Florida any plan on doing it pretty soon. It's a lot of positions yesterday and the day before they went after married and controller positions and today they're going after the sheriff the police fire departments councilman and other service positions such as head of public works and head of other departments and they're replacing them with Max and we are filling underneath rapidly and foreigners are grasping at jobs too. You're stating that they don't want to put money into a facility of ours or things so senses when I just duplicate it it's the idea it's not necessary to rip it off it's going to be there throughout the duration and this is not a bad idea keeps order and clones don't want it. And it stops to John hopefully to a degree. And these positions are huge they're important and you see them on TV all the time they haven't touched the state legislature is not true this overlap of characters now they haven't touched the state legislature or the federal legislature but it was talking about state governments so far it's not true these are public jobs and throughout the country they should reach 70% including federal jobs and the Senate and Congress to the last. And they're doing it almost completely upside down and it's to send a message to them that they know how it works and then it's ridiculous and it is they don't have people who think in their own and yeah it's similar across the board but okay. And there's some other things going on too but this is a huge day and it's a very sad day for a lot of people these positions are of power and a lot of power in this area along with those spots are the military which is in Florida and elsewhere too but here in Florida they're going to try and push them out of all the bases all at once at the same time it's a huge number of bases

More shortly

Frank Castle hardcastle

I got something to announce too we have a lot of stuff going on today and it's more than people want to talk about and it's more than they want to look at but it's happening they're trying to get in here again unsuccessfully do not very good at and they're getting hit they're getting laid out and a lot of them are getting hit really bad you don't have time right now for TBI and it's happening they don't have the energy to recuperate and it's happening let me see it's difficult today would be terrifyingly bad for warlock didn't try and leave a lean on her son heavily hospital jail all sorts of things will start to work now here we need more people more facilities we had to do it last night and for his request and still not enough we need a lot more here and pronto so I'm ordering it now

Duke Nukem Blockbuster

We're following through and doing it too and a lot of it and we're assessing it now

Olympus

[appliedpsychedelics]

My MOLLY EXPERIENCE #2

Hey guys so I took a capsule of, it was either 0.2 or 0.5 grams of Molly , I forgot how much

It kicked in during my math class in the morning

Let's begin with physical changes:

My body was having trouble regulating temperature, but I don't know if that was from the molly or not. Like, I'd go from being sweating to being really cold, and I kept changing in and out of my sweater

My teeth were gritted together, pressed very tightly, and I had to exercise conscious effort to pry them apart

I walked faster than usual

In the hallways, everything felt crazy, like a big circus, all the people and the noise they made was a little overwhelming but it was fun

I didn't notice until I went outside and took out my earbuds, but my breathing was sort of fucked

I felt a warm, euphoric feeling, very strong

I felt totally energized and wired

I was speeding through the math questions so feverishly that the teacher came up to check on me, but he said I got them all right so he moved on to talk to some other kid

My body was very tense and I felt like I needed to be constantly moving

I felt like I really understood the math lesson and was able to get a lot of work done

Time seemed to be moving faster. when I'm sober, ten minutes feels like a long time to me, but on Molly ten minutes flew by like nothing

I was having fun!!

I had the confidence to compliment a few strangers on their hair, outfits, whatever, and their smiles made me happy

Now let's get on to my emotional state:

A few quotes from the voice messages I sent my bf:

"math is just logic. I like, uh, logical reasoning. I like how there's a right way to do it, so if I get it wrong, I can just learn the right way.... I think I've grown to appreciate it (math)"

"I'm just so thankful that my life is so amazing and I can live in this world that's so beautiful"

"I'm looking at the houses," (I was outside smoking a cigarette) "...and Uhm, they're just really beautiful and I love the way that they're so geometric , and, they Stand,... rigid... ... They stand, like, strong, ... And peoples families like, live in there! It's like uh, a representation, a suburban house is like a representation of a strong family bond, and I think it's really pretty, and I think I wanna start painting houses"

"I don't think I need to be defining myself with labels like that... , Like saying oh I'm this or I'm that, like, the trans stuff too, who cares... How people see me or what they think about me? Cos Uhm, I think if they just get to know me, they'll realize none of that stupid shit matters"

"I feel insane, like, I just... I feel crazy"

"the teacher noticed (something was off)... I look really stressed on the outside... But its all good, my whole life is so good. Like, I'm happy that I go to this school, and there's all these people..."

"i told a girl I liked her hair and she said thanks I'm... I'm just so, happy, and, I'm sorry about all the things I've done that were bad, all the things that I've done, I'm really sorry " (on the side of the shed I was sitting next to when I said this, was a picture of Jesus Christs face that I graffed the year prior to this, so i started like apologizing for everything bad I ever did)

I won't quote this next part but I told a story about a customer from my work who kept recommending me movies and how he was so nice to me, and then I started crying a bit

And I'll quote this next part, regarding the work story: "I really like when people recognize that everyone is just a human and we all just want, Uhm, to have friends and to be seen and recognized, yknow, and, I hope that I can develop my social skills and do that... For other people! I wanna make them feel seen and heard..."

"I think that maybe if I just keep complimenting people, they'll feel better about themselves... I just want everyone to be happy... Because this world is BEAUTIFUL..." (by the end of this quote I was crying)

"it's so beautiful, all the snow, it's like a blanket over the earth, Uhm, and all the houses, they stand so STRONG , and the sky is this BRIGHT white, with like, faded parts of blue, and I think it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, and this whole world is amazing, and I don't know why I would ever want to kill myself or like, leavveee the world, I dont know why I always complain about my life... Because it (my life) is just the best! I just worry over stupid things that don't even matter" (after this I discussed a problem I have been dealing with and concluded with "I think if I can just like get over it... Like who cares about the past, I'm old, I have a new life now, and I wanna go to university and I'm so happy that I have a future"

Then I was telling my boyfriend "YOU have a future too, you have so much chance to do good things in your life, you have so many years before you die"

Then I talked more about how I wanted to make people feel happy and less lonely by taking to them.

"I want to show everyone the beauty of the world"

"I think in art class I'm gonna paint houses because everyone needs to see how beautiful it is, there's these houses, all on the street, and in every house, there's a family! And that family has got like... Their own connections and stuff... Their own BOND, and I like to think that they all love each other, maybe they have problems, but, everyone has problems"

A side note here, I think that's what love IS... It's pushing past problems.

Then I started crying again

"...we all love each other and everyones just tryna do the best that they can... And I'm just really emotional, because, everyone's just so beautiful... Even people I don't agree with or I might make fun of, they have their own hopes and dreams and everything !

"everyone's got their own Thing, and I'm really in love with Humanity, I wanna hear people talk about what they find interesting and exciting... Because its really beautiful, and it means a lot to me, Uhm, I wanna show people that I Do care about what they say, even if I don't like it... Their voice has got a place on this world!!!" (This was said through tears as well)

"YOU MATTER!!"

I then discussed how I enjoyed watching people in the hallways, observing them, because I found it so fascinating that every one of those breathing bodies moving in a rush to and fro, has like, a LIFE

"everyone is just their own person and I think it's beautiful"

" I love everyone"

"God made all of us, an we're just here, and we all have our hopes and dreams,

OVERALL: I would say Molly is fun , but I would be careful about doing it at school, it's really more of a party drug than anything, it's good for if you want to dance or run around. Otherwise though, you might find yourself feeling a bit pent up. However, Molly increased my productivity and I was still able to do schoolwork correctly, and so I'm going to rate this drug as, 4 stars. It's amazing, but it can get to be overwhelming at some moments. Overall I would totally do it again. I'm doing it tommorow actually. But, I would reccomend giving yourself at least one day, two days, in between doses, just because it is a powerful drug and it's addictive and every time I recall my experience(s) taking the drug, I just want more of it and I know if I get hooked on this it's going to DRAIN my fucking bank account.