#they were def good i vibed hard with them

[motorsportbarbie13]

The Yapping Hour Is Upon Us - The Hardest Two Years

In which your relationship with Max is put to the test and you pass with flying colors.

Warnings: this one is heavy at the beginning. Mentions of miscarriages (no active miscarriage on the page, but discussions of them). pregnancy. babies. labor. preemie/NICU baby briefly mentioned. anxiety. Pairing: Max Verstappen x Podcaster!Reader Word Count: 5k words

- The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - Part 2 - The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - Part 3 - The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - Part 4 - The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - Bonus Sessions - The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - The Royal Wedding - The Yapping Hour is Upon Us - The Wedding Night

(a note: whewwwwww this one has been such a labor of love. i hope you all have enjoyed reading this as much as i loved creating it!!!)

October 2026 Austin, Texas

TheYappingHour posted

293,202 likes liked by maxverstappen1, assistantshannon, christianhorner, and others. theyappinghour We're back babies!! It's been a wild year for us here at The Yapping Hour but we're so pleased to bring you a brand new interview featuring Red Bull Strategist Hannah Schmitz. I first met Hannah when Max and I were first dating and she spent countless hours answering my (often silly) questions with the utmost patience. I love talking to women in motorsport, especially women like Hannah that are sitting on pit wall with the rest of the boys. We talk glass ceilings, what it's like to be work in a male dominated field, and what it took to get where she is today on the episode. It is def not one to miss!! hannahschmitzengineer thanks for having me on, lady!! Love having you around the track more now. xo user9928 hannah gives me such good vibes. i love her sm. user011 so we're just going to ignore how @/yourpersonalinsta just ghosts for how many months after eloping, claiming she's suddenly 'too sick to work' while galavanting all over the globe with Max??? >>>user0028 I knew she was a gold digger this entire time but NOOOOO. No one wanted to listen to me! user1145 its totally fine if you just want to live that WAG life girl but be honest with us. And yourself. Marrying rich was always her goal, wasn't it? >>>user0090 ding ding ding!!

"Thank you again for coming on the show, Hannah! We get so many questions about women in motorsport so I know this episode is going to be so well received." You reach out your arms towards the strategy engineer, enveloping her in a hug. 

Hannah hugs you right back, giving you an extra squeeze. The two of you have always got on really well and you were happy that she had agreed to come on for an episode. It had been a rough year so far, so having an exciting episode to edit and put out was something that you were looking forward to. 

"Thanks for having me! We all miss your episodes in the garage. Everyone was excited to hear that you'd be back for at least one episode." She gives you a sad smile. Hannah is one of the few people that know the real reason behind your absence on socials this year. 

"It feels good to be back. Hopefully I'll be able to do some more things in the last bit of the year. I have a few things in the works." You give her the most positive smile you can muster but it's hard with the waves of nausea that started to roll through you in the last few moments. 

You barely hold it together as you walk Hannah out of the studio that you'd rented in downtown Austin ahead of the US Grand Prix this weekend. Max was back at the track finishing up some media duties but once you finish up with Shannon at the studio, you're going to head back to see him. 

Inside the studio, Shannon is working on packing up once you return from walking Hannah out. "Can you do me a favor?" You ask, voice hesitant. 

Shannon's head snaps up at the anxiety she can hear in your words. You two have been working together so closely for so long, you can both communicate with minimal looks and words now. She can read your mood almost as well as Max can. "Everything okay boss?" 

"Could you swing by the pharmacy before going back to the hotel and pick me up some..." You pause, needing a moment to work your tongue around the next words. "pregnancy tests." Your heart hammers in your chest. 

Shannon blinks at you, hesitant smile on her lips. "Of course." She says softly before reaching out to cup your elbow with a gentle hand. "You feeling okay?" 

Chuckling, you shake your head, "My lunch nearly made a reappearance when Hannah hugged me just now, which is weird because we wear the same perfume sometimes and that's what set me off." 

The moment that wave of nausea hit you, you had started counting back the weeks in your mind since your last period. You had instantly known because it was the kind of math you'd been doing for almost a year now, since getting your IUD out. 

What a year it had been. 

"I'd do it myself but there's a lot of media out this weekend and I've already been papped. There's already so much negative coverage out there, I don't want to give more fuel to the fire." 

Back in June you had made the difficult decision to put production on The Yapping Hour on hold for the near future, citing health issues. Most of your fans had been supportive but there had been a lot of backlash about how you were a gold digger and were only with Max for his money. People saw you traveling a lot with Max and assumed the 'health issues' were a cop out and that you were just lazy. Everyone in your inner circle knew it was absolutely untrue but the lies perpetuated by accounts like Deux Moi the F1 gossip accounts still stung. 

This year had shaped up to be the most challenging year for both you and Max, personally and professionally. With only a handful of races to go, Max was sitting solidly in second place in the drivers championship, behind a white hot Lando Norris who'd won 8 races already this year. While Max was still able to keep the fight going, the car had continued to deteriorate this year and even Mad Max could barely keep it on the road some weekends. It had been the hardest season of his entire career. 

Despite all the difficulties, both personal and professional, you and Max were stronger than ever. There hadn't been any other choice after you what you had gone through together. The 'health issues' that you had cited earlier in the year had actually been the three miscarriages you had suffered back to back to back since getting married in December. Through it all, the doctors appointments, the late nights spent sobbing in pain, the terror tinged excitement at each 'positive' test, Max had been there for you. He was an unwavering and unmoving well of support for you in the darkest of hours. 

Shannon's eyes go watery as she tugs at your hand. "Oh, mama..." 

You chuckle darkly, "Not a mom yet, Shan." 

Shannon shakes her head, "Yes you are. Those three precious babies were yours and will always be yours." 

Tears sting at the back of your eyes as you walk out of the studio still holding your assistant's hand. You knew she was right. You still felt that constant ache and connection to the babies you had lost, even the first one that you had lost at just four weeks when it was barely more than a bunch of cells. The anxiety that courses through you as you get in the back seat of the car that Max had sent for you is so overwhelming you nearly ask Shannon to stay with you. 

"I'll go get that stuff from the pharmacy then I'll drop them off at your room, okay? It'll be okay, boss." Shannon says warmly before shutting the door of the black SUV. 

All you can do is nod in response, hoping she's right. 

Hours later, you stand with your hands braced on the vanity in your hotel room. Max is caught at the track still, needing to meet with the engineering team for a bit longer than expected so you're left alone in the room just staring down at the box Shannon delivered to your door. 

There's a flood of mixed emotions swirling all together in your stomach as you look at the small white stick starting back at you tauntingly. You had wanted to wait for Max but at this point, you didn't know when he'd be back and you hadn’t been able to wait any longer. You'd been through this so many times this year and had seen that little plus sign three times already, all ending with heartbreak and pain. You weren't sure if you'd be able to survive another one. But at the same time, you had to know. 

Max opens the door to your shared hotel room quietly, wanting to surprise you by coming back early and taking you to dinner. You're not where he expected to see you though, snuggled up on the bed watching Netflix. 

The bathroom door is thrown open and he hears muffled sniffling floating out, sending his anxiety through the roof. After the year you've had, anything that's got you upset sends him off the deep end. He finds you leaning over the counter staring at something. Max stops in the doorway for a moment, watching your body language. Your hair is tied up in a messy bun and you're wearing nothing but one of his old sweatshirts that's seen better days. The tattered sleeves fall over your wrists, only allowing your fingers to peek out. He can barely see your wedding ring peaking out from the navy sweatshirt and for a moment, his mood shifts. Here you were, nearly a year later and he still gets love struck seeing you wearing his ring. His wife. It still stopped him in his tracks when he realized how lucky he was to have you and how lucky you both had been to survive this year so far. 

“Liefje?” He murmurs, leaning against the door frame. He doesn't want to scare you, so he keeps his distance at first. "Everything okay?" 

You startle a bit, hand flying to your throat when you gasp in surprise. "Max!" You breathe, eyes swimming with tears that haven't had a chance to fall yet. "I...I don't know." 

Max crosses the tiled floor, the cold biting into his feet through his socks. "Hey, what's got you so upset baby? Shhh..." He takes you into his arms, cradling you against his chest. You relish the warmth, your body having gone stone cold after seeing the results of the test you hadn't been able to wait for Max to take. 

"I nearly threw up after hugging Hannah today even though she was wearing one of my favorite perfumes." You tell him, nearly chuckling when he looks at you utterly confused. Extracting yourself from his grasp, you reach behind for the test and hold it up so he can see it.

"I'm pregnant, Max." 

The strangled sob that you choke out nearly takes Max to the ground. He folds you into his arms again, rocking you back and forth as you shake like a leaf. The miscarriages had been so hard on you, each one more difficult than the last. The memory of you, curled up on the bed when you had started bleeding during the third one, while you wailed about your body betraying you and how you were broken, hits him like a truck. He'd give anything to make this pain stop for you, to take away the fear and anguish that he can feel rolling off of you in waves. 

"Shhhh, schatje." He soothes, knowing that nothing he could possibly say will quell the terror you're feeling right now. 

"I can't lose another baby, Max. I can't. It’ll destroy me.” The only thing you wanted to do was protect this little life that was inside you right now, bits of you and bits of Max combined to make an entirely new human. You’d been here three times before and you’d failed. Your body had failed to keep the baby inside you safe and you didn’t know if it was going to happen again. The doctors had been baffled after every loss, telling you that there wasn’t any rhyme or reason to it, that sometimes losses happened and there wasn’t anything that could have been done about it. There hadn’t been any genetic abnormalities in any of the samples they’d taken, hadn’t been anything that you had done to make you lose the pregnancies. No, it had been completely and utterly random that your body just hadn’t been able to make a pregnancy stick. 

You’d never felt more like a failure. 

“My love, it will be okay. We’ll get through this, I promise.” Max wanted to tell you that you wouldn’t lose this baby either. He wanted more than anything to tell you that but the words wouldn’t come. He couldn’t tell you that because he didn’t know if it was true and telling you something that might turn out to not be true killed him. “We will always get through these things together, no matter what happens.” 

You pull back out of Max’s chest, needing to lose yourself in those icy blue eyes you were so obsessed with. You knew, deep down, that he was right. Max had been your constant source of support since the day you met him. You had no reason to doubt him and knew that he would get you through this even if you lost this baby too but that didn’t stop the fear from wrapping it’s sharp, cold fingers around your throat. “I’m so scared.” You whisper. 

Max runs a hand over the top of your head before framing your face. Brushing the pad of his thumb over your cheek, he smiles down at you. “I know.” He admits, knowing that you need to know that he’s in this with you right now and that you’re on the same page. “I am too, but like I said, we’ll get through this. We’ve got to make a plan, sitting here crying is just going to make your anxiety worse, okay?” 

You nod, grinning when he laces his fingers with yours to pull you out into the main part of the hotel room. He leads you over to the bed where he sits before patting his lap, inviting you to sit between his legs. With your back pressed to his chest, you snuggle into him as deeply as you can, enjoying the way his arms snake around you to clasp together over your tummy. “I’ll call Greg in the morning and have the jet take you back to Monaco and you can have Shannon make you an appointment with Dr. Mallkin. I’m sure he’ll get you in as soon as possible.” 

You freeze. “No, Max.” You protest, heart thrumming in your throat from the panic. “No, I don’t want to leave you. Not now. What if I lose it again and I’m half way around the world from you? Please, I don’t want to leave you.” You know you sound pathetic, begging like a scared little girl but you can’t help it. The thought of being alone in your apartment in Monaco while Max finished this triple header to Mexico and then Brazil sent frigid shivers of fear zinging through your veins. 

Max tucks his head into the crook of your neck, mouthing at the warm skin there. “Shhh…Okay, Schatje. You don’t have to go back to Monaco but you absolutely can’t come to Mexico and Brazil with me. The travel and stress won’t be good for you, you know that.” 

You both sit in silence for a few moments, each contemplating what can be done. There was no way you were going to go back to Monaco right now but you also knew that traveling down to Mexico and then Brazil wouldn’t be good for you or the baby and you desperately needed this baby to stick. 

“What if we flew you to your parents up in California?” Max suggests, breaking the silence first. “You could go spend a few weeks with them, get in to see a doctor up there to just check and make sure everything looks okay and then when I’m done in Brazil, I’ll fly to get you and we can go back to Monaco together? We have a three week break after Brazil so you won’t be alone for a bit.” 

The thought of going back to your childhood home for a few weeks was immensely appealing. “And then maybe I could do Qatar and Abu Dhabi with you to finish out the year if everything is good and Dr. Mallkin gives me the okay?” 

Max is quiet, not wanting to agree to any more travel than absolutely necessary but when your head swivels around to look at him, pleading look on your face, he caves. “If Dr. Mallkin gives you the okay, we can do that.” 

Monaco May, 2027

yourpersonalinsta posted

yourpersonalinsta we've been hiding a little secret. baby verstappen due in july and we couldn't be more excited. (tagged: maxverstappen1) kikagomes ahhhhh i can finally talk about this in real life!! so excited for you bestieeeee >>>yourpersonalinsta love you!! user0029 ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! baby verstappen incoming! user0445 july?! oh my god, they hid this for so long! user442 omg that's why she hasn't been at races this year! bet all those assholes predicting a divorce feel like assholes now redbullracing already have the mini f1 car in the garage for baby verstappen!!

33 weeks. You had made it pas the danger zone. That little tiny bean in your belly had dug itself in so deep that you hadn’t lost this baby, much to your delight and surprise. Those early weeks you had spent with your parents in California had been some of the scariest days of your life. Every time you went to the bathroom you had expected to see blood everywhere. But it had never come. When Max had finished with Mexico and Brazil, he had flown to get you before taking you back home. The rest of the season panned out exactly like you had expected: Lando had won his first world championship with Max finishing a close second. 

A few weeks into winter break, Max had approached you one afternoon while you lounged on the couch in your Monaco apartment. There would be no long distance travel for you this winter break due to the precarious state of your pregnancy. You had been cleared to go to Qatar and Abu Dhabi to see the rest of the season pan out, but after that, Dr. Mallkin had effectively grounded you. ‘I want to retire’ was the bomb Max had dropped on you that afternoon. You had been silent for several minutes, letting the implications of his statement sink in before you had been able to respond. If there was one thing that drove you insane about Max was how he was always threatening to retire despite being absolutely awful at sitting still and relaxing so you had never taken his whinging seriously. Until that afternoon. 

In the end, after several hours of discussion and back and forth, you had convinced Max to give it one more season. He couldn’t let his career end on such a low note, losing out on his sixth championship. He had wanted to retire to spend more time with you and the baby but you knew he’d be restless and that he wasn’t ready to retire just yet. In the end, you had come up with a compromise: he’d race for the 2027 season and you and the baby would travel with him for the second half of the season so he wouldn’t miss any of the big milestones. You were due sometime in July, which was perfect timing. If everything worked out, you’d have the baby right around the summer break and by the time racing started back up in Belgium, you’d be ready to take the baby on the road. 

But in the end, it didn’t end up working out like that. 

The Monaco Grand Prix was one of your favorite weekends, even if Max hated it. He didn’t like how busy the city became. Hated how loud and noisy the streets were. Secretly hated the track due to how difficult it was to actually race and overtake, despite dominating the track in recent years.

Earlier in the week, you had finally shared the news of your pregnancy on social media, having waited until you were nearly full term before breathing even a word of it to anyone outside of your inner circle. You had stopped traveling to races weeks ago and your presence had been wildly noted all over the gossip accounts, some even going so far as to start rumors that you and Max were already divorced. So imagine everyone’s surprise when you posted the photos of your belly gently covered by Max’s hands. People went wild. 

Sunday morning, you’re in Red Bull hospitality sitting with Liam’s girlfriend Hannah and Kika while Max is in the garage getting prepped for the race in a few hours. During last year’s silly season, there had been some major reshuffling of the teams and Pierre had been welcomed back into the Red Bull stables as Max’s teammate. Liam was still driving for VCARB alongside Franco Colopinto who had taken the second seat after Yuki had left to join Aston Martin this season. 

Your left hand sits lightly on your ever expanding belly as you listen to Kika gush about Pierre proposing last week during the little break the grid had had when something that feels like an electric shock snaps across your stomach. “Oh.” You gasp, sitting up a bit straighter in your chair. 

Hannah immediately clocks the pain that streaks across your face and reaches for your hand. “Are you okay?” 

The pain takes your breath away momentarily but as quick as it comes on, it’s gone. A few deep breaths and everything rights itself. “Yeah, just some ligament pain or something. My doctor said now that I’m further on I could start getting Braxton Hicks but that it wasn’t a huge deal as long as they’re not steady or coming in regular intervals.”

“If it happens again, I’m telling Max.” Kika says, face full of worry. Since Pierre’s resigning with Red Bull, the two of you had gotten closer and she was one of your best friends now. You knew she’d 100% tattle on you to Max, who had turned into an even more intense mother hen the closer you got to the end of your pregnancy. 

“Oh, that’ll go over well.” You roll your eyes. “He’ll flat out refuse to race even if they’re just false labor pains. Mouth shut, Kiks.” You order, raising a brow in challenge. 

Kika just rolls her eyes back at you, folding her arms over her chest. “Fine.” 

Everything goes back to normal for the next few hours. You sit in the Red Bull hospitality with Shannon, Kika, and Hannah by your side to watch the race, not having near enough energy to stand in the garages for the race. Max had started P2 but had managed to pass Lando somewhere on lap 15 and had been in the lead ever since. 

And then, suddenly, all hell breaks loose. 

“Fuck.” You hiss, clutching at your stomach as Max starts the last 15 laps of the race. 

Kika’s head whips towards you, panic in her eyes. “What?” 

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck.” You mutter, standing up to look at the puddle you’ve left in the black plastic chair. “I think my water just broke.” 

“What?!” Kika shrieks, causing the entirety of the hospitality suite to turn their heads in unison to look at you. “What?” She whispers a second time, just as urgent but quieter this time. 

“I think I’m in labor.” You work to keep the fear out of your voice but you fail. You’re not full term yet, you can’t be going into labor. This baby needed to stay cooking for a few more weeks. Panic strangles you as Hannah reaches for your hand. A sharp, shooting pain has you crying out, once again drawing attention to your little table. “Oh fuck, I think I’m in labor. I’m only 33 weeks Hannah, I can’t be in labor.” 

The pain of your three miscarriages comes charging back, terror flooding your system at the thought of losing a forth baby, this one so far into your pregnancy. The kicks, the hiccups, everything has made this pregnancy so much more real. You didn’t think you’d survive another loss.  

Hannah, who just finished her first year of medical school, squeezes your hand. “Good news is, 33 weeks is viable out of the womb but we should still get to the hospital. Little dude is going to be a bit on the small side.” 

“Oh for fucks sakes.” You groan, knowing Max is going to lose his shit. He’d been worried about this exact scenario more than you cared to think about. His orders had always been to have GP or Christian tell him over the radio if you ever went into labor during a race and he’d stop right then and there. 

“There’s only 15 laps to go.” You glance up at the TV screen above you. “Okay, 14 now. I’m not leaving until he’s out of that car and we’re not saying a word to him until he’s taken the checkered flag.” You stare pointedly at Kika, who had leapt out of her chair when you had declared you were in labor, presumably to go straight to the garage and tattle on you. 

“You most certainly are not waiting until he’s finished to leave, are you insane?” Hannah whispers, trying to avoid drawing even more attention to you. “I’m going to find a car to take us to the hospital, which should be interesting considering half the city is shut down. We might need an ambulance.” 

“I am not leaving the paddock in an ambulance!” You gasp as another contraction hits you, stealing your breath from your lungs. 

“You’re not going to have a choice.” Hannah turns to Shannon. “Can you go to the garage and tell GP that she’s in labor and that the moment he’s out of that car, he needs to get his ass to the hospital. Kika, stay here with her and try to keep her calm.” 

While the drama is unfolding in the hospitality building, Max is working on winning his fourth race of the season, the car feeling better than it has all season. When Hannah finally finds a medical official, telling him that there’s a woman in pre-term labor that needs to get to the hospital immediately, Max crosses the finish line in P1. 

GP immediately comes on the radio. “Max, we need you in right now, no cool down lap.” 

“What? What’s wrong?” Confusion plays at the edge of his voice as he starts towards the pits on the other side of the track. 

In the garage, GP glances at Shannon, who shakes her head. “Just get to the garage now, okay?” 

In his gut, he knows it’s about you. He knows instantly just by the sound of GP’s voice. Something’s wrong, he can feel it in every nerve ending of his body. “Is she okay?” 

“She’s okay for now.” 

Relief floods Max’s system as he desperately tries to get back to the garages without hitting anything or anyone, which is proving to be very difficult. All he can think about is you and getting to you as fast as possible. Was it the baby? He had known it was a bad idea for you to be out in the paddock today. Had thought there was too much excitement and activity for you to be out and he was kicking himself for allowing you to be here even though deep down, he knew that you would have been here no matter what. He just hoped he didn’t regret agreeing to it. 

Shannon goes to Max first and explains everything. How your water had broken with 15 laps to go. How Hannah had found an ambulance to take you across town to the hospital. How you were probably already there, Kika and Hannah both riding along with you in the ambulance so you weren’t alone. How you were scared but putting on a brave face for everyone, which Max thought was very typical of you. 

Christian sidles up to Max next. “There’s a car waiting for you with a police escort to Princess Grace Hospital. That’s where they took her. Go, we’ll take care of any FIA fines or hubbub.” 

Max doesn’t need to be told twice before taking off, still sweaty in his race suit. As he’s racing out of the garage, Shannon calls after him. He pauses, despite not wanting to but grins when she holds out a bag for him. “Thought you might want a change of clothes for when you get to the hospital.” 

Max snags the bag out of her hands before giving her a warm smile. “Thanks, Shan.” 

“Now go! Your wife is having a baby!” 

There’s a reverent hush that blankets the NICU in the middle of the night. The floor is near empty, only one other baby in the little clear covered crib besides your baby. It’s been hours since you gave birth but you’re finally up and out of bed, sitting in the wheelchair Max brought for you in your room moments ago. 

“The doctor says he’s a fighter.” Max murmurs, hand clasped on your shoulder. 

Tears burn before spilling down your cheeks as you take in the baby in front of you. He’s only 33 weeks and a tiny little wisp of a baby, but the pediatrician that was on call when you came in is confident that he’ll be okay with some extra attention that being in the NICU will bring. “He’s so small.” You whisper, reaching up to grasp at Max’s hand. 

Max had gotten to the hospital just in time. Kika and Hannah had been at the head of your bed when he had burst into the hospital room just as you had been feeling the need to start pushing. He had been white as a ghost, paler than you’d ever seen him but the moment you laid eyes on him, you had burst into tears. “Max.” You sobbed as Kika and Hannah discreetly showed themselves out of the birthing suite. They had stayed in the waiting room for the next several hours though, neither wanting to leave before knowing how you and the baby were doing. 

Like he had been doing since the moment he walked into your life, Max had never left your side and had been the single source of strength you had drawn on during the entire labor process. Everything moved so quickly you hadn’t had a chance to even ask for an epidural so you had labored completely naturally. In the end, it hadn’t really mattered because your labor had progressed so quickly Dr. Mallkin had barely had time to get his scrubs on before the baby was crowning. 

“What are we going to call him?” Max asks, staring down at the tiny baby boy. He still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that he had come so early and that he was now a dad. It terrified him just as much as it thrilled him. He was so proud of you as well, the entire labor process something that he had to just sit back and watch in awe. If Max hadn’t thought that you were the stronger one in the relationship before, he most certainly thought it now. 

“I like the name Theodore.” You say, reaching out to brush your fingers on the clear plastic that held your tiny cherub of a baby. “Theo for short.” 

Max’s heart gave a squeeze. “It’s perfect. What about Theo Nicholas.” 

Your head whips around to stare at your husband. “Nicholas? Like, my dad Nicholas?” 

“I think it suits the little guy well, don’t you? And I like the idea of him carrying on your dad’s name. One of the greatest men I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing.” 

Now you were really sobbing. The fact that it had been Max to suggest giving his son your dad’s name for a middle name created this soft, gooey center in your stomach. “I love you so much, Max.” You say, choking back another sob. 

Max leans down, pressing a kiss to your cheek as he watches the son you’ve given him sleep peacefully. “I love you too, schatje. I love you both.” 

maxverstappen1 posted

1,208,391 likes liked by yourdad, yourpersonalinsta, kikagomes, and others maxverstappen1 baby boy couldn't wait until july to make his grand entrance. tiny verstappen is here and life couldn't be better. forever in awe of you @/yourpersonalinsta. being a momma looks good on you, schatje. love you forever. yourpersonalinsta love you more, maxie. you're already the worlds best dad to theo. >>>user9383 THEO??? that is the cutest name >>>user2993 they're literally life goals oh my GODDDDD charlesleclerc congratulations friend!! gorgeous family you've got there. redbullracing love seeing max in his dad era!

yourpersonalinsta posted

1,598,019 likes liked by maxverstappen1, hannahstjohn, assistantshannon, and others yourpersonalinsta welcome to the world theodore nicholas verstappen. you are already so loved, baby boy. (tagged: maxverstappen1) maxverstappen1 my 2 favorite people on this planet. you're already such an amazing mother, baby. love you to the ends of time. >>>user458 i'm sobbing hannahstjohn he is the cutest little turkey ever. i am so in love with him! congrats mama!!! >>>yourpersonalinsta thank you for forcing me into that ambulance otherwise we could have had a paddock baby on our hands >>>user0938 this is such f1 lore, i love it

Tags: @shelbyteller @formulaal @martygraciesversion381 @longhairkoo @samantha-chicago

[my1interspatial2corner]

𐔌 . ⋮ Izuku Midoriya .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

Headcanons: Childhood friends to lovers

Before dating...

You two either were inseparable during daycare or were neighbors and hung out together

Either way, you were one of Izukus few friends. And unlike Bakugo, you stayed with him despite him being quirkless

Due to how much of an asshole Bakugo was and is to Izuku, you bet you hate his guts despite all of Izuku's insistence on how not to hate him

If you two went to the same school, you would try to protect him as best as you could. If you didn't, you two always hung up after school. Either way very disapproving of Izuku not wanting to tell his mum of how ppl at Aldera were treating him, Izuku was grateful you didn't snitch despite your disdain

Izuku would try so hard to ignore his feelings for you since he felt guilty. You were such a good friend to him and he would ruin it all with his own selfish feelings

Would need a huge amount of work on your part to get together. Like he needed clear signals to even assume you might view him that way

"I like boys that are sensible, with curly green hair and freckles"

(He still might not get it btw)

Anyway, but after the constant guilt and one sided pinning and attempts for him to catch the hint you finally confess and you two began dating yay!

The most difficult part is over

In a relationship...

Izukus was already clingy before dating so imagine once you're in a romantic relationship together... Yeah he's not letting you go

High-key would have attachment issues cuz you're the only person since his childhood that has stayed and never looked at him differently due to his quirk situation

He's always researching your quirk and how it works, it's his love language

Also despite all of all mights warnings you bet he told you about how he got his quirk

How could he ever keep anything from you?? You would stay with him either way

Likes casual dates like going on a picnic or doing grocery runs together, just like a hang out. He feels like the formal dates are too much and he just wants to enjoy your company as he has been doing (but this time with kisses and extra cuddles)

We all know he has no preservation instinct right?? Yeah if that worries you and you tell him that man is gonna try to find a way to use his power without breaking his finger each time. Also impulsed him to think for himself and actually take care of himself lmfao

Notices sm about you and writes down stuff like what you mentioned once wanting for stuff like birthdays. Has a bunch of notes just regarding you, not just of your quirk

Quite confident in the relationship due to how long you two have known each other but then again he worries over anything so he would fret over having accidentally upset you when teasing you

Cuz we all know he would tease you. He gets sassy when he's comfortable ‼️

Would come back with a bunch of stuff for you as an apology for something that hadn't even upset you

If you were AFAB he would probably keep track of your period and have everything ready for whenever it's that time of the month. You're also the reason he's always carrying hair ties and pads despite not needing them. Specially if you're forgetful

Speaking of, you never have to worry about Izukus forgetting anything special like anniversary. That man is thinking about it months before. He does remember and you bet he would go all out.

Has so many photos with you hung around his walls and closet. Can see the two of you growing old. Probably stares at it whenever he feels down. You're his motivation to do better

Izukus gives me "walking heating pad" vibes, like he would always be warm to cling onto, if you get cold easily

Loves to put your hands on his jacket's pocket to hold them. Also loves intertwining hands and just about any physical contact

Forehead kisses and headpats def become frequent for him when he's at U.A

Wants to protect you and has his instincts act up fr

If you get hurt or need him?? He's right there before you know it. Even if it's due to something silly, that man would never get angry at you for needing him and asking for his help

Speaking of, so patient with you. If you were hesitant with intimacy of any sorts he would wait for as long as needed and never force you into anything, hell he would refrain from anything you want as long as that means he gets to keeps you by his side. Doesn't want to be the reason behind your discomfort

Izuku gets a bit shy with pda but he loves it. Makes him feel all warm and tingly to be so loved and have people knowing it

Definetly the kind of guy who doesn't stfu about how amazing you are and how much he loves you to his friends. It's like he has a crush on you forever despite having been dating for literal years

The only "arguments" if you that you and izuku have will probably most likely be related to all might. Like he loves you but superman is NOT better than all might thank you very much

He rambles so much to you, to the point where you've learnt to decipher his mumbles that seem to be more gibberish rather than language. It's your super power

Izuku is just happy to have you listen

Such a fast texter... Makes a lot of typos due to it. Occasionally used kaomojis when texting you. Some of his typos have become internal jokes between you two

Overall very sweet and attentive, would do anything for you <3

[tteokdoroki]

so jock yuuji and weird girl reader right? am i right?

weird girl who is the one who initiates any form of hostility. jocks arent jerks by defaults, yuuji definitely not. weird girl sees the world in popular / unpopular, uninteresting / interesting, pretty / meaningful, and general black / white thinking. extremes.

yuuji would just have no idea any of this is going on. like why is she mad at me. i wanted to ask her about the keychain on her bag. whyd she accept my follow request but not follow me back.

i love the dynamic of jaded reader x clueless blorbo!!! where they are both somewhat attracted to eachother the more they observe eachother around campus, but one pulls closer and the other pushes him away!!

jock yuuji def hangs out in the gymnasium instead of going to class btw. plays music out loud on his speakers thru the halls. if u even care. he carries around one of those big ass water bottles and he never got a backpack w him. just showing up to econ with nothing but a drawstring bag of ground down pencils and vibes

𖤐๋࣭ — JOCK BF!YUUJI ENTRY #9. first meetings.

about. a scenario in which the campus’ favourite jock lays eyes on his future freaky girlfriend for the first time.

warnings. minors, blank and ageless blogs do not interact! sfw, fluff, meet cute, jock bf!itadori, weird gf + fem!reader.

imagine yuuji signing up to one of your classes and he kinda makes a fool of himself on the first day. like he shows up late because practice ran over, his laptop his dead and he doesn’t have a pen but your professor (and it’s taken like two years for you to have gotten on his good side) just lets it SLIDE !!! so you’ve already got your back up with yuuji — thinking he’s some dumb jock here to mess around in your class !!!

he takes the seat right next to you of course, introduces himself to you with a sunshine smile that keeps on burning even when you cut your eyes at him and ignore the poor guy. yuuji even goes as far as to ask you for a pen half way through the lecture — and your heart stops when your fingers brush as you pass one to him. he’s a stupid jock, you remind yourself, he’s probably just making fun of you.

the pink haired jock never leaves you alone after that day!! he says hi to you in the halls at dorms he visits or on the way to the library — his music playing obnoxiously through the speaker he carries even when the librarian politely tells him to quiet down.

yuuji sits with you at study cubicles every week even though you’ve made it clear that you don’t want anything to do with him — but he follows you on Instagram, and asks you for notes from your shared classes, texts you about the socials coming up (even though you never go to them). and even though you think that he’s annoying… itadori is charming in a way.

he’s good to his friends, knows all of his teachers by name, he even studies hard — despite you thinking that he doesn’t.

maybe you misjudged itadori, maybe you were a little too harsh.

maybe you’re starting to think better of him, and he can kind of tell when wave him over to sit next to you during class and lend him the same pen you gave him when you’d first met.

꒰ end. — all rights reserved © tteokdoroki 2024. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

[storydays]

Brozone Older Brothers' NSFW Headcannons

🧡John Dory:

Whew, boy, are you in for a treat!

So it'd been 20 years-ish, since he'd been in Pop Troll culture, so he is out of practice when it comes to intimacy.

100% an ass and thighs man: You bend over in front of him, no matter what you're doing, instant hard on.

He's more of a grower than a shower: 5.1 inch normal and 5.3 when hard (Correct my if this is wrong bc I know nothing about penis education lmao)

Play with his ears, or even his tail, and he is instant putty in your hands.

Turn-ons include: edging (giving or receiving), eating you out/blowing you, (loves receiving more than giving but will still pleasure you as well as you did him) tying you up (and he knows some different knots from his adventuring days) and many more that I can't think of lol.

Def gives me top vibes but once in a while you'll catch him off guard and top the hell out of him

When you do top him, he is such a whiny little bitch, and you hold him there for hours until the sunshine peeks through your curtains.

Leave hickeys on his neck and he'll happily wear them and preen when you press a soft kiss to them when you're jealous.

When it's jealousy sex, angry sex, or sex in general, the bed will be creaking, Rhonda will be shaking, and anyone who happen to walk by the armadillo-bus will know exactly what's going on and run away in horror at the noises they heard.

He is a caveman when you first meet but starts to clean himself up a bit.

Is a total mess when it comes to cum. He cums buckets in you (if given consent), on your face, stomach, anywhere really.

Bruce:

Ooh, this is gonna be fun

So Bruce has had his fair share of lovers, and knows his way around different genitalia and how to expose his partner's feel good spots.

Ugh, please please pull his tail

Just like the rest of him, he's pretty girthy down there, but is still long enough to hit those special spots.

His hair is beautifully tamed, which means he is tamed down there too, and even learned to make different shapes and designs out of pubic hair.

Def a a shower and grower: 3.5 when flaccid, but a whopping 5.5 when hard

He knows how to use his mouth, hands, and tail to make his partner scream

Def a power bottom; watches you through half lidded eyes as you take what you want from him, occasionally praising or degrading you, depending on his mood.

He's a attentive lover, and will cherish everything about your lovemaking, and make sure you're okay.

Turn ons include: hair (only time) and tail pulling, you making eye contact with him while making lewd gestures, being a brat and teasing him, morning 69, and loves when you surprise attack him; so many emotions flood through him, and he allows you to take some control, before he takes over and pushes you over the edge, with a smug smirk.

Sex is like a game to him: the end goals are making you feel like a million bucks and making you drunk on his love. Will tease you by cumming first, before he allows you to cum.

He is one smug son of a bitch when you can barely walk, or when someone makes a comment about the hickeys on your body (he leaves them everywhere), or about the scratches and bite marks on his back.

📚 Clay:

Okay, so he wants to be the best you've ever had, so this bookworm absolutely studied up on how best to pleasure you. STUDIED FOR DAYS, and even studied while they were attempting to pleasure you.

Annoyed, you snatched the book from him, and turned the tables on them.

He's pretty average, right in the middle both length and thickness so pretty enjoyable for both parties.

Prefers giving than receiving, adores when you use your hair to hold him in place

THEY ABSOLUTELY ADORES THICCCCC THIGHS; (Yall see how thick Viva's thighs are? #CLIVIA )

Would spend hours in between your legs if you let him

Quite noises escape him....unless you bring out the dark green strap on and/or cock ring...then it's the Theatre Du Chatelet in y'all bedroom!

(Their brothers' overheard y'all one time, and the next day they all avoided your smirk and Clay's bright purple blush when you make a smart comment.)

Everyone sees him as serious/fun, but when you two are intimate, it's just Daddy and Baby Girl, it's up to you to figure out which is which, (😉)

Always uses protection just to prevent any accidents.

With you, he can let go of labels and just be Clay and they love you for that.

Turn ons: that strap on/cock ring, dem thighs, being pulled closer when they go down on you, you taking control, just you in general, teasing him in public, making suggestive comments in his ear while his brothers' and friends are around and he can't do nothing but try to make the blush go away and ac natural, glaring darkly at you when no one was looking.

He is clean and trimmed down there.

[xo-hugs-n-kisses-ox]

(Request)

Taking Things to Heart

Cullens x Reader

Carlisle:

This man is a father and acts like it, plus he deals with injured and probably emotional people all day for work, so he would be the best person to go to if your feelings were hurt

He would always know what to say to cheer you back up

I think he would see feelings being hurt as an unavoidable thing in life, so he would be like Edward or Jasper and try to keep you from getting hurt

He’d instead focus more on getting you to bounce back and not take things so seriously

Eternally patient, so he would talk to you about your feelings if you wanted that, or wait until you did

He would be the first to notice if your feelings were hurt, too

Esme:

She would be super understanding

Also good to talk through things with but would also probably be confused by some things

Definitely would know how to make you feel better quickly tho

Would probably do her best to help spare your feelings, but knows that it’s unavoidable

Idk I think she would be very supportive but also big on communicating your feelings

Edward:

Since he reads minds, I think he would make sure to always half listen to yours/tune in periodically to make sure your day’s going good and that you’re happy

Knowing that you’re more sensitive than others, he would likely do a quick check a bit more often to make sure you’re ok

He would also likely try and stop people from talking if he thought what they were about to say would hurt your feelings

Def a bit overbearing about it, but he has your best interest at heart

He would also probably explain people’s thoughts if their words hurt your feelings, just to try and sooth you

Probably memorized the things that hurt your feelings and makes sure to keep his family/himself in check about them

Lives and breaths for you being happy so he would do what he can to make sure you stay in a good mood

Rosalie:

I think she would care a good deal if your feelings get hurt (when she likes you only), no matter how often it is

Definitely glares when someone hurts your feelings

She wouldn’t always actually know, but she’s good at judging your body language

(I firmly believe she’s great at pattern recognition so she would be good at guessing if something would hurt your feelings)

She would also probably hurt your feelings from time to time tho, and at first would be a bit stubborn about it, but would come around to apologize and explain she didn’t mean to

She would be confused about some of the things that hurt your feelings since she’s not overly sensitive in the same way

Emmett:

Ngl I think he would be the one to hurt your feelings the most on accident

It’s only because he wouldn’t get his feelings hurt easily and would just say whatever comes to mind

It’s never intentional when he hurts your feelings, and he’s always very quick to apologize and make it up to you

He would work really hard to think about his words more after he realized that talking without a filter led to you being upset

If someone else hurt your feelings on accident, he would be a good person to talk to because he wouldn’t judge you for it but he’d also make sure you knew it was an accident

Jasper:

He can feel/mess with people’s emotions, so I think he would be very sensitive to yours

I think he would be like Edward and always half-monitoring you to ensure you’re happy

When you aren’t, he would be trying to figure out why and then solve it like his life depended on it

He def would live by your happiness and if he said something that upset you, he would be apologizing the second he felt the shift in your mood

I think he would also be one to explain that hurting your feelings wasn’t intentional

Like if a joke went a bit far for you, he would make sure you knew that it wasn’t intentional

Alice:

I don’t think she would use her powers to see if your feelings would be hurt that day, but I do think she would use them to feel out the overall vibe your day had

She would also probably be a teeny bit overbearing because she wouldn’t leave your side if she saw your day was bad

She would be good for comfort if you didn’t want to talk about why your feelings were hurt, and I think she would just let you sit in how you feel until she decided it was time for you to feel better

———

Thanks for reading! I’m slowly making my way through my request (finally)

Side note, I’ve been rewatching Tokyo Revengers again and I lowkey forgot how much I love it! I just finished the last season on Hulu

[hanjisungslag]

haiii >_< what type of fantasy characters/stererotypes would aot characters be?

- any characters you want but def reiner pls＾ ty baby

🧝‍♀️ aot characters & fantasy

characters included: eren, armin, mikasa, sasha, connie, jean, annie, reiner, bertolt, levi, erwin & hange!!

notes: this was so fun to do omg

✧ eren jaeger - hero gone villain

okay i know this is a bit basic to do… but c’mon!! he’s literally the epitome of ‘i’ve become what i sought out to destroy’ and i just can’t think of him as anything else. he fits the stereotype too well😭.

✧ armin arlert - mage

he is soooo side kick mage, no? tell me you can’t imagine armin (specifically with the mushroom hair) wearing a wizard gown, hat and holding a magical old stick. he doesn’t like to leave his tower often but is usually forced to when something goes amiss - i can imagine him sighing deeply while reluctantly grabbing his magical old stick.

✧ mikasa ackerman - sidekick

bad ass sidekick who lives in the woods & is probably on the run. i’m thinking… arcana muriel vibes for this but less stoic and quiet (and less cursed) but, she definitely learnt to fight in the woods when she was 3 OR taken in by an old, rugged guy whose family died tragically. either way, everyone’s terrified of her but she steals bread for orphans or some heroic shit like that.

✧ jean kirsten - prince

himbo prince😭 i mean this in the BEST way possibly mkay! he’s not really a himbo however… he just gives prince who accidentally got entangled in a weird adventure and he doesn’t know how to live without servants. he’s be like “erm, i am not crossing that muddy river.” BUT THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT WOULD BE INSANE by the end, he’d like finally understand how bad the government is or how poor the townspeople are and give them money.

✧ connie springer - the fool

sigh… the fool, the court jester, etc etc. he would be himbo prince jean’s court jester 100% and they’re like actually pretty good friends, they’ve known each other since they were kids. he also gets dragged along with jean on a weird adventure and he would be the comedic relief. (also a shoulder for jean to cry on when he gets mud on his fancy royal shoes).

✧ sasha braus - henchman

hunter/henchman hellooo…? literally expert at using a bow and arrow? grew up in the woods?? she would EAT so hard being a henchman and to make it even better, when someone hires her they don’t know she’s a girl and whenever someone finds out, they’ll be so shocked!! feminism!

✧ reiner braun - the beast

dare i say… some sort of big beast? like a big, fluffy beast but make it sexy, beauty and the beast vibes perhaps. imagine fighting this big and surprisingly attractive who lives under a bridge. IM SORRY THAT WOULD BE SO FUN… i’m thinking like diane from sds vibes too!!

✧ bertolt hoover - squire

young, little boy training to be a knight aka a squire. tell me you cant see this little cutie patootie dressed to the nines in armour, learning how to swing a sword?! maybe him and annie trained together or dare i say, he looks up to her.

✧ annie leonhart - knight

sworn shield to a princess that she falls in love with. imma need someone to write a fanfic about this RIGHT NOW!! we all know annie knows how to whop some ass so, of course she was chosen by the king and queen to protect their precious daughter but what happens when… she falls in love! GAH!! of course, she could never speak of her feelings - maybe one day.

✧ levi ackerman - assassin

leader of some sort of renegade, like a special group of assassins. no matter what universe this man is in, his crown will never fall! his title carries on throughout all possible realties m’kay. same backstory though 100%, raised in the poor ditches but learnt how to fight and now he’s a leader of a renegade! you have to pay big buck to get levi to assassinate someone, he’s the best of the best after all.

✧ erwin smith - commander

i’m sorry to be basic and boring but a commander of an army. HE HAS TO BEEE 😭it’s too perfect, i’m sorry. except imagine the army is all medieval and dripped out in chainmail!

✧ hange zoë - pirate

a pirate. LIKE CMONNN especially s4 hange with the eye patch?! i can totally imagine hange running a ship and sailing the seven seas. they’re literally a commander too? it was written in the stars, they’re perfect for the role! i can totally see them playing devious pranks and tricks on other pirates trying to secure the same treasure.

[rilakeila]

opinions about f1!ferrari! mattheo riddle or f1!mercedes! theo riddle based on this: mattheo/theo and their f1 teams ,

for sure, their daddies were both f1 drivers

which led them to be karting buddies with draco and enzo ! and they all happen to be on the grid >.<

f1! bf! mattheo would def fail at soft launching your relationship. you'd be doing so well until he accidentally posts a story of you. or, enzo would on purpose hard launch you both and be like "whoops, mb" (even if it was revenge haha, enzo be messy af)

but f1! bf! theo would be really good at the soft launches (i think draco would, too). but only bc he would be like "what do you think of this?" or continuously asks you. or picks up on you sending tiktoks about post ideas

continuous quad dates with mattheo, theo, draco, and enzo. going on holidays during that summer break fs

fans would def enjoy the instagram banter between the grid and the wags

twitch streams between the quad and their wags would definitely be chaotic (giving lando, charles, alex albonooo, and george vibes)

enzo is a mclaren boy, but draco idk. i don't see him in redbull, he might be mercedes i feel (??? gives george russell vibes)

[ineedsomethingoriginal]

Musical warrior ages

I know this is such a useless detail that adds nothing to the plot but I just wanna guess the age order of the Warriors lol

(putting a read more because it got long. I always prefer more sentences as opposed to a couple words so here you go)

Oldest:

Cleon-probably safest bet since she's the leader. also gives off peak mom vibes like you cannot tell me she wasn't hugging the shit out of the girls when they reunited. I love how mature her voice sounds in the album and I love how they made her more motherly. not to say that movie Cleon wasn't also caring, he's definitely a tough love kinda guy tho as both didn't hesitate to put themselves in front of their members so they could get out safely.

Cochise: Just going off her character description (in the movie or musical can't remember) I know I read that she was the most loyal to Cleon's trust in Cyrus which makes me feel they've probably been through a lot together. She was immediately ready to go back for Cleon after they hid in the cemetery. unfortunately Movie Coshise and Musical Cochise don't have a lot to do in their stories which sucks because I can't think of any fun facts from the game or movie that didn't get added to the musical (justice for our girl) though I can safely say Cochise feels a little more mature and put together than the girls I think are younger but she still has her moments so I feel she's younger than Cleon.

(ok these next three could probably be interchangeable so I feel like they would all be around the same age,)

Swan: Swan was so hard for me to place but I think this is a good spot for her, not the oldest and not the youngest, but I'd like to think there's a bit of an age gap between her and the next oldest Cochise. I think it'd be funny that as Cleon's right hand man she's more mature than her other same age cohorts so a popular rebuttal she will often hear when she calls them out for being 'immature' is 'you're literally the same age as us'. Swan doesn't have a lot of changes character wise in the genderbendification, but I think the musical format helps a lot to flesh her out ('woodlawn cemetery' and 'light or something' are examples that come to mind)

Cowgirl: I def get middle child vibes from her and Ajax especially. as for ages I feel like these 3 all were born in at most 2 years of each other. I like how she and Ajax egg each other on to incite chaos. she and Ajax are def the wild childs, they give Swan and Cleon constant headaches frfr, I feel Cowgirl and Cochise are in the same boat as the game and Movie did not give the musical a lot to work with. Like I think in the movie his defining characteristic was that...he had a cowboy hat. at least musical Cowgirl tells us why lol. movie and musical cowboy are def the more laidback and comedic of the warriors, and a small detail I appreciate is that in the song 'sick of running' Ajax is singing and Cowgirl and Cochise are providing backup, I'm assuming in vocals and in fists, which I think reference that (I think in a deleted scene of the movie) Cochise, Ajax and Cowgirl were recruited to be the designated fighters/soldiers if things go south.

Ajax: see, this is where the interchangeable comes in, because I don't know if I picture her as the youngest of the middle trio but I feel like she could be anywhere. I feel like her and Swan being close in age works for her initial challenging of Swan's leadership even though I know age in America isn't as hugely important as it is in other cultures. In the movie (and games) I think Swan and Ajax work as parallels in to me (movie versions) visually they look similar, and they look the same age, but it is Ajax's temper that gets in the way of her being able to take on responsibility the way Swan can. I am so thankful of the changes to Ajax's character and the recontextualizing of her character from a female perspective, Like movie ajax is easily worst character of a whole bunch of bad (morally) characters but musical Ajax is def a top 3 character in this.

Mercy: I'm adding her anyways, she becomes a warrior at the end. I feel like maybe she is closer in age to the middle children trio but still a little younger, I think maybe her willingness to completely change the course of her life after ✨women✨ makes me lean into a more younger, 'newer' Mercy than someone who's older than Swan but that's just me. Like Mercy def feels like she's going through her 'holy crap I forgot women could be an option phase' which I think helps her come across as not one of the older members.

Rembrandt: If I only had the musical to go off on I would say Rembrandt gives off peak little sibling vibes, but I also have the movie to go off of as well (and the video game hehehe) and I will instead say that Rembrandt gives off peak little sibling vibes. I feel like she looks and acts younger than she actually is (especially compared to Fox ) but still is incredibly street smart and observant. Fun Fact in the games Rem is actually the newest member of the gang, she only officially became a member like 3 months before the events of the movie. despite her not being a huge presence in the musical I think relistening to it with the context that Rembrandt has literally only been with in the gang for a few months gives some new meaning to some of her lines. basically she is my baby and she is def the gang's baby despite not actually being the youngest lol.

Fox: I mean, she literally mentions it in her rap, we all knew where she would fall in the age order lol. I also think this means she at least is a year younger than the next oldest, as again, age isn't that huge a factor in north america. what I mean is that in the musical, each girl gets about 2 lines to tell the audience as much about themselves in their rap. I feel like that wouldn't be something she would mention if she was only a couple months younger. I like that she seems more mature than some of the other members (Cowgirl, Rembrandt) but still has her moments that remind you, oh yea she literally is the youngest of a group of presumably young women. like how she's easily influenced by food, and especially in the song 'reunion square' where she sings 'why can't we just go back home' like damn she really was just a girl that wanted to go back home and be with her family :(

Youngest:

[wolfgirlandfarmboy]

SPEAKING OF MARRIAGE. have you ever drawn them at their wedding recently? what would their dresses look like.. what would be their song.. who would be invited.. would it be huge or lowkey.. would anything go wrong or would it go off without a hitch.. inquiring minds want to know!

I sadly haven't drawn them in their matching wedding dresses recently 😭 I think the last time I did was this Encanto Redraw

I really need to update them though especially since I had wedding lore for Lore itself more fleshed out.

AS FOR THEIR WEDDING SONG...maaan I really need to put time aside to specifically put together their actual wedding playlist. There are both SO MANY choices for them yet none because all the songs I have picked for them are too fast pace for a more traditional wedding vibes...I DID cheat a little while answering this ask and look up a list of good R&B songs to play at weddings and found out Jamie Foxx and Beyonce's duet "When I First Saw You" is a REALLY good fit for these two.

When it comes to guests, they would def invite all their close friends (so everyone in Briar Patch basically). Pinokuni is def Jack's best man with Kai being one of his groomsmen while Ashe is for sure one of Nana's bridesmaids along with Xia being a bridesmate.

I see Jack and Nana getting married as the cliche fairytale ending for Beanstalked so Jack SOMEHOW accidentally invites all the cool folks they met throughout their journey together. He'd do it in the "I wanna be nice just so no one feels personally excluded because all these guys were really nice and helped us save the world" and not really expect anyone to truly show up save for 3 or 4 people...

...and then Jack and Nana find out "Oh everyone we sent an invite to actually showed up and now we actually have to figure out how to seat 50+ people in one location"

So it started off initially planned to be lowkey only for it to become VERY highkey at the last second.

It isn't much of a problem though because the spot they have their wedding is outside. SPECIFICALLY at Nana's dad's final resting place..which sounds wild BUT LEMME EXPLAIN--

When he died, he purposely made sure he was in his big ass wolf form so that he wouldn't be hauled off by hunters and taken from his family. So there is a giant wolf skeleton that is located in the Lupine Forest that is kind of one with nature now so it's covered in greenery. It's a little unsettling to those unaware of the lore behind it while also still being serene. Nana goes there often when things get too hard so she can talk to her dad.

She wanted to have her wedding there so she could make sure her dad was present. And Jack was more than willing to oblige her.

Miraculously, even with the giant guest list, everything goes off without a too much of a hitch. I wouldn't say entirely smoothly since that's a lot of people and there's some shenanigans afoot especially at the wedding reception since that's when everyone parties.

BUT it's a very fun experience for them both, even for Nana who is the #1 antisocial of the village.

The couple did take a very well deserved honeymoon in a much quieter place afterwards though. Poor things had to recharge and fully process they were husband and wife now.

[gingerjolover]

what about naomi and reader in a new years eve party and bumping into reader ex and them nomi get jealousy jealosy also love u gingy ♡

we're gonna hc this bitch if thats okay w you baby!

because listen ok, nomi "doesn't get jealous" (they do) they get "protective" (we let them think whatever helps them sleep at night)

there's a couple of different scenarios that i think would lend how naomi would act bumping into your ex

if you and naomi have been together for a loooong time and its some random ex that you dated in highschool or college, there might be a hint of jealousy

like they hug you a little too long or only look at you and not naomi, which naomi is like "it's just rude babe, im not jealous," their hand sticking in the back pocket of your jeans or rubbing the hem of your skirt as they pull you into them, leaning against a wall

if you haven't been dating that long, a more recent ex might trigger a diff reaction, naomi might get a little guard dog on them

like if they came up and hugged you and were just being really touchy and affectionate, naomi would be like "and I'm Naomi, THEIR PARTNER," and like shake their hand but have a killer grip

would also just be sooooo touchy all night, like nomi is already affectionate but when there's someone in the room that ALSO knows how hard you love and how deeply you can fall, nuh uh, not gonna fly for nomi

the only time i think naomi would be like not super jealous and even laugh a little at an attempt is if you're a bi/pan queenie or you've dated a man in the past and they come up to you like "wow you look so good, how have you been?" naomi is squaring UP BRO!

def pulls a "i can fuck you better than him, and you know it," and your jaw drops for a sec because "naomi quiet down!"

"babydoll im packing rn do i need to prove it to you?" they ask with a smirk, like leaning down and pressing searing kisses to your cheeks

it just so happens that said ex is watching from a corner, a drink in his hand

"I- well-..." you're stammering because naomi jealous is usually like ha ha and you guys joke about it and then it's done (bc your devotion to them and your relationship is obvious and naomi relishes in it and returns it with the same enthusiasm)

but naomi is cupping your cheek, running their fingers through your hair placing chaste kisses on your hairline being like "c'mon bunny let's go find an empty room before midnight."

NAOMI DEF WINKS AT THEM AS THEY'RE LEADING YOU UPSTAIRS IDK WHAT ANYONE SAYS

anyways...

i didn't do a full fic but i totally can if people are interested🫶🏻

edit!

i have to mention i think naomi's vibe at parties is similar to how i wrote them in the Halloween blurb where they take care of soft!gf

naomi is just always scanning the room and like they def have fun and party but they are always keeping an eye on you

which is why if they are w you when ex approaches its one thing

but naomi def DOES NOT like it when they are across the room and sees any of the above approach

maybe not so much the friendly ex

but the rest for sure naomi has an eye out because someone is moving in on their girl and they do not like that one bit

[scribblue]

Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu first watch

Finally started watching masters of spinjitzu (yes, I watched the movie before the show) and I'm gnawing on the floorboards like a rabid animal RAHHH

I wanted to start a thread to share some of my thoughts and reactions as I watch, for anyone that wants to hear 'em or to live vicariously through a new fan hehe

○ Note: I don't care too much about spoilers given that its an old show I've already gotten plenty of spoilers for, but I'd appreciate it if you kept big stuff vague in my comments! Also, there will be spoilers in this thread for any other first time watchers.

Pilot– s1 ep 13:

Okay so my expectations going into this was that it was going to be different from the movie, given how people talk about it online. Honestly I wasn't prepared for how different, but like– in a good way? I really love it so far, and also still love the movie (esp Garmadon), which is probably a byproduct of having seen it with zero context first. Ik a lot of ppl dont like the movie or have crits of it and that's very valid, but I'm really enjoying both of them for their differences.

Some rapid fire thoughts in no particular order (might be more organized next time):

- I really like how much development they're giving each ninja, that was something the movie def lacked.

- I had no idea what spinjitzu was and i was not expecting Ninja Tornados but i fuckinglovethatAHAHA

- Zane is my favorite ninja so far. I loved him in the movie too but the reveALLLL GOD. That was something I was spoiled for but it still hits so hard. Hes so me when I (love me some autism-coded robots). Honestly tho I rlly like the whole cast !!

-I mistakenly thought Nya and Jay were the siblings in the movie bc the dialogue rlly wasn't clear to me, but uh– yeahno AHAHAHA OOPS theyre cute though

-show!lloyd is.... growing on me! Slowly! I know he's got a long way to go and I'm sure he'll get there but his first few appearances was a lil whiny for my tastes. The fact that he's trying to follow in garms footsteps tho and garm doesnt want him too?? aUGH i love their whole dynamic so much.

- the fact that garmadon pronounces lloyd properly throws me all the way off cuz I'm so used to L'loyd PFFT

-I also didn't put it together that Lloyd Garmadon is meant to sound similar to Lord Garmadon. Idk how but it took someone literally saying it in an ep for me to realize

-I love how clear it is that garmadon cares for lloyd and would do literally anything for him but also the angst of him being infused w evil and knowing lloyd is destined to defeat him???? WHILE STILL BEING PROUD OF HIM??? unmatched. I love that so much

-I also just love garmadon's whole vibe but thats to be expected. Much less silly so far (with a few expections) but he's so interesting. I wish they did a lil more with his backstory in the movie. Imso brainrot over him

Anyway thats all for now I'll share more thinks as I watch hehehe

[futurecorps3]

I saw your Hobie x latina going going to the club para perrear and I loved it😭🤞🏼😩

BUT

Imagine Hobie going to a cantina with a mexican reader and just drink and hear corridos tristes (el video del vato que dice "porque que te quiero" y le meten el micrófono a la boca😭💀) or rather going to a cantina goes to her house and her family is making carne asada and drinking beer and there's literally a band in the party (soy norteña perdoname😭) and he is like "this food is bussing bussing" because he is British and their food is just "no good💖". At first he is nervous like he doesn't know what to do and at the end he is somehow riding a horse or he is playing with the band, he just loves it, the vibe and the food

(Love how you write 😭💖)

Hobie Brown meeting latina!reader's family <3

Masterlist <3

Ay hermana, soy chilanga we don't have horses up in this bitch😭 I tried to make it more general like Bee meeting your tías and primos but def adding the whole carne asada deal. (For my non-mexican readers, we call people from the city "chilangos" and northern people "norteños" and while we're from the same country, our experiences can be very different!). Also, tysm my dear, hope u like<3

-First off

-Giggling and kicking my feet 🤭

-Bro was persistent in meeting your family, and while you weren't exactly reluctant, you did have to warn him

-"Why not!? I want to meet your uncle Luis or- or Saúl!" He exclaims, recalling the stories you've told about your family members. "I'm not saying no, mi amor. I-It's just-" "What?" He grins, knowing you don't really have a solid argument. He kisses your pout and walks over to your room to get ready as you sigh, defeated by your pretty once more.

-Of course you wanted Bee to meet your family! But we all know how it can get at those big family gathering.

-One thing was meeting your parents, (which went by spectacularly, by the way) but him hanging out with your older tíos and younger primos was a whole other deal

-They aren't bad people, you love them dearly. It was the soft (hard and relentless) teasing (borderline bullying) you were worried about.

-It was easy to understand their humor when you grew up with heavy jokes, but Hobie would be new to all this. Plus, he was the first official boyfriend you'd introduce to the family! They were protective and honestly not afraid to show it.

-"Buenas tardes, Hobie Brown. Mucho gusto" you say slowly as you're both on the way to your tío's house, he repeats after you with a horrible accent. "Roll your r's!" You giggle, looking at him intently while softly showing him how to pronounce.

-He's really trying for you bestie </3

-Yeah he went blank after your aunt opened the door and dismissed his polite handshake with a bone-crushing hug.

-"Ay mija! He's so tall, I can barely hug him right. Pásenle, pásenle, Luis is in the garden with the kids. Welcome Hobie!"

-Bee just smiles and it widens when a horde of kids comes running down the hall and bolt towards you, saying hello to their favorite aunt and the strange bato she brought along.

-"Tía Y/N/N who is this?" Luisa (the youngest) asks, eyeing Hobie up and down with the sass of an old lady, making him suppress a laugh "Es tu novio?" now questions one of the boys, looking up at him amazed. "Hello brats" he smirks, high-fiving each and every one of your nieces and nephews excitedly.

-"You didn't tell me you were a tía already..." "Some of them will be by the age of sixteen, so I'm no rare event."

-Hobie is hard to lose on a crowd; all spikes, leather, chunky boots, and piercings

-Your nephews are thrilled.

-Asking all around about what his pins mean, if he finds it hard to walk with those boots, if he's not too hot with his jacket... you know, the type of questions kids ask.

-You laugh at him, trying to answer one question at a time patiently, and walk over to the table outside where your tíos, tías, primos, primas, cuñadas and some sobrinos were.

-"Y el novio mija?" Asks one of your tíos, already in a deffensive tone "He's inside con los niños, tío. Ahorita viene" you smile and promptly, Hobie walks through the door after the kids.

-The smokey scent of the carne asada filled his nostrils as soon as he walked outside, widening his eyes at how good it smelled. You walk over to him, grabbing his arm and smiling widely at your family

-"Les presento a Hobie, mi novio" you beam and your tíos can tell he truly makes you happy. "Yo no te di permiso, Y/N" one of them jokes, making everyone laugh and Bee follows after you translate for him.

-And he didn't like it but he really cared about their opinions

-He didn't give a single fuck of what other people had to say, but this was your family!!! He knew he was close and for the first time, strived for perfection

-The next few minutes were him trying really hard to memorize all the names, having a hard time pronouncing your aunt Rocio and Rosa's names.

-Everyone laughed at his attempts

-You sit between everyone at the large table, one of your tíos approaching you as you're too busy catching up with one of your cousins. Bee squeezes your hand to catch your attention, but you don't turn back to look at him, instead just squeeze back.

-He nervously places his hand out, and contrary to before, your uncle welcomes it. "Buenas tardes, Hobie" (oubi😭con acento mexa) "Buenas tardes, señor". God, did he rehearse that on the way...

-Your uncle seemed to appreciate him at least trying to talk to him in your mother tongue. He gave him kind of a smile and asked "Wanna help me with the asador over there?"

-Oh this was a test

-"Sure thing" he nods confidently even though he's shitting himself at the moment

-When he saw the carne asada let me tell you

-His mouth watered, heart eyes all over and he swore he was about to do that floating thing he's seen spider pig do

-Your tío taught him how to turn the steaks at the right time, after some aceite jumped and burnt him a bit :( your uncle could tell he was trying hard so he took it easy on him

-Personally? You fell in love all over again when he contained his tears the best he could at the smell and spice of the chiles floating so close to his nose <3

-You slapped his ass playfully when serving the food and he just smirked as your uncle side eyed you HARD

-“Bloody hell this shit is fucking amazing babe!” He almost moans when he bites into the taco of asada you made for him

-Your family might or might not know english but they know how bad words sound lmao

-They couldn’t blame him tho, not after he proved to love asada as much as them with the eight tacos he ate ☹️💕

-Him playing with the babies of your family bro :(

-He's so good with kids too

-I'm talking playing with them, having full conversations no matter how silly they got, following their train of thought and even making sure they weren't up to some stupid shit

-Girl, if you don't rail him stupid after that-

-He got along with your older cousins too!!! After all, they shared a similar taste in music and films so there was plenty to talk about

-Your tías chismeando with you about how handsome he is

-Let’s wrap it up, I got carried away and this is too damn long 😭

-He’s talking to one of your tías when the banda arrived at around 9 p.m

-My man is so confused please help him

-His spidey sense went off before the whole fucking commotion started lmao

-When he realized it was a live group playing and singing traditional music he lost his shit

-Asked you all about it!!! “What is that piano thing!?”, “What is he singing about?”, “Can I learn how to play that?”<3

-Eventually (and with no alcohol needed since he refused to risk doing some stupid shit with your family) he ended up dancing with your tía, her patiently teaching him how to move

-He had a hard time with his big ass boots but somehow managed!!

-Hobie was so happy when you went home ☹️ almost asking when you could come back and if you could cook some carne asada the same way your uncle (his best friend, he called him) did

-“Yo te amo mi amor” He smiled big, kissing you softly before falling asleep “Thanks for letting me meet your family… meant a whole lot y’know?” “‘Course corazón, seeing you there with everyone filled my heart with a joy I have rarely experienced”

-And with that you fell asleep, Hobie dreamt of asada and banda<3

[3gremlins]

feel like im having a DA2 experience again where I really liked it and was in my little "this is good" cocoon where i played it many times only to emerge from underground and find everyone else hated it (i mean ive found the other da2 cicadas since but at the time it got really slammed). i've been really enjoying DA:TV so far ( lol tho obvs have notes) here's an early thoughts review, may be a bit spoilery, def rambley, trying to stay vague on stuff still (i think i'm about half way maybe? im trying to not look things up and doing it blind on my first run through. it's hard to tell b/c i went hard on all the side quests and am now way over level for the msq)

the combat system is a little jarring at first and i still miss at least being able to switch to and play as party members if your character dies (instead of the god of war style of full wipe), but i've gotten used to it (it's more annoying for boss fights, regular combat it's very zippy and fun). the targeting at least on controller is kind of annoying sometimes- i'll think i'm pointing at one enemy only to have rook turn and fire at nothing or companions to hit an add instead of a boss. I wish we at least had more control over how it queued who it was hitting. some of the arenas are obnoxious design wise - there's bosses that teleport to you and they give you like a tiny little box to dodge around, not the most fun. i do like that you can punch way above of your weight class sometimes which reminds me of DAO a little bit (like how you'd just wander into a fight or hit a gong and be like oh no, those enemies have skulls over their heads, oh well YOLO). sometimes it doesn't work out but when it does it's very satisfying. It's nice to be able to conquer something mechanically even underleveled (smol fromsoft vibes) Having always been a big fan of the strange composition parties (i.e not just war/rogue/mage), i like that this is now even more viable (and not just me being cheeky "we're having a leather party!" of all squishy rogues). but like the main thing about bioware games is the companions/interpersonal shit and i'm enjoying the heck out of that .i only do main quests to get more side quests from companions (or more side quests in general so we can troll around for more banter). i like petting griffons (and cats and dogs) and playing games with manfred*. I wish the gift system was more interesting like DAO or DA2- i was so excited to see it again and then it was a little disappointing to have them barely react when you get them stuff.

my current fave party are rook and the poison boys (emmerich and lucanis) since they're a rogue too and we just stack necrosis, bleeds and other elemental effects on things till they disintegrate. i like the lighthouse, it feels much cozier than skyhold. I love that you can just wander up to companions having convos and awkwardly eavesdrop. I do miss the little interactions/quests you could get with cole esp*** i think the animations are a little lack lustery? Idk there's something with the face model morphs that sometimes feels weird but the voice acting is strong enough that I don't notice too much. i do miss some of the more bioware-y cheeky things like item descriptions or weird notes near random silly environmental tableaus (there's a little but i just want to read all the notes! there's some in the grey warden areas where i was just like WAIT I HAVE QUESTIONS but there was no plaque about them T.T). where are the stacks of cheese (i do appreciate the fereldens love cheese jokes tho and harding getting so excited when someone says something nice about ferelden) i was esp bummed that there were no random things to read in the black emporium and it's all codex entries instead (that's my favorite tiny bit in DA2 where there's junk you can click on and xenon says weird shit to you). i also wish more had been done with accents of npcs- like i wish all the antivans had similar accents or your crow rook had an antivan accent, stuff like that (having a lot of "ferelden" generic british accents everywhere is disappointing. takes you out of the immersion a lot) My biggest gripe is probably the pacing - I wish it had more horror/mystery pacing like dao and da2 had- the reason we're all scarred by the brood mother is b/c the build up to that was so so creepy (also the necromancer bit w/hawke's mum in DA2). They gave us time to be unnerved or afraid and I do feel the evanuris reveals have been a little rushed so you can't really feel that worried about them (some of the side quests get close to this but still not quite there**). I wish they'd let them breathe a bit more instead of rushing from one giant world changing event to the next. Some of the reveals have been not so great- like lore that the fandom has poured over for 15ish years explained in one line?? i wish there'd been more build up of rook as a character too, maybe even a time skip from a prologue to finding solas kind of thing. the first trailer made it seem like that's what was going to happen but then it in media res'd us in a strange way. the first 10 hours of the game are probably the weakest imho, it took it a bit to get rolling and feel more natural. I appreciate that the first major decision doesn't really let you scum save for it (bit of a jump scare for me lol).

I also don't really need this much varric anymore, i kinda wish we had a different narrator if we have to have one. He feels really awkward to just have there and not doing anything(and not just kill off or have something happen to him? he got stabbed by the dagger and harding only touched it is what i'm saying). at least let him get better pjs and slippers or something Idk it does feel like bits of previous iterations they were working on are still there and they don't completely serve the plot well. And ofc there's the decisions not meaningfully carrying over thing- which is a huge bummer. But in reality they've never been good at that- the characters from previous games we see in new games don't really carry through their plots/arcs that much (it's more like cameos or they're a new person now) and the world states are usually effectively the same just with aesthetic faction swaps. I was sort of hoping we'd get some solavellan SOMETHING but it doesn't look like we will get much at all past the stuff in minrathous. i feel like if they were going to only include the one choice it really should have had more impact on the story. (i am also still a clown and want to talk to solas constantly still even tho he has no reason to talk to my rook at all, i do not care, i love a sad woof. i wish we could just casually visit him in the fade. i wish we could switch to lavellan and visit him in the fade, idk something. need more gareth david-lloyd pls) the interpersonal character decisions have been the only ones that mattered much and then only within the constrains of their own games- the bigger world changing stuff is usually the illusion of choice. It would have been nice if they let us have one protagonist carry through but i can also see why they liked changing it up and felt stuck in that format. tl;dr: i'm really like it for what it is but it's def got flaws. Parts of it feel super polished while other bits do not- i think knowing how game dev works that they had to make decisions on what was going to get prioritized and some of it works while others not so much. I wish the pacing was better for sure but i love the characters/companions which is generally what bioware is best at. sad it won't get meaningful dlc, i don't really care about mass effect 5 tbqh. So far I like it better than inquisition for the most part- it feels like a bigger/more polished DA2 in a lot of ways if that makes any sense (with similar budget/pacing issues, but the environments are more fun). as i mentioned in my other post, i really appreciated the trans/non binary inclusion into the story/cc tho. like that can't be discounted, even if the rest of the game has issues. (all the holes in the narrative make me want to do fan art and fan fiction tho so idk, maybe that's an okay thing. maybe dragon age is best at inspiring us to sandbox around in it)

*side note, i am surprised at how much i like emmerich like holy shit what a lovely soft nerd of a man! going to have to play through a few times and romance him and also bellara for sure (romancing lucanis this time round) i find myself shipping my companions with each other more than i normally do too. I just want them to be happy! I wish they'd let us have polyamory, like i could see little polycules in this squad so easily. i need to give bellara hugs and lucanis head pats. taash deserves head pats too, but my rook will need a ladder.

**i am going to cry if they do with the griffons what i think they're doing with the griffons. like straight up, feeling like it was a cursed wish to have them now T.T *** do we think the caretaker is cole? the character design makes me wonder (like the hat/silhouette is very cole like but maybe not. maybe i just want it to be cole lol) there's def characters i want to see show up that aren't going to and then bioware is like "what about this fan favorite??" and i'm like "eh".

[highpriestess13]

General Message!

"Chauffeur" is what I heard, but it's bot you being the chauffeur, it's you being chauffeured around. Sacral energy/chakra is very significant. Many of you may be working or healing on your sacral chakra OR you're becoming more confident in yourself and your beauty and not only that, you're in your power! Embrace this energy and embrace this change(s). Carrots, oranges, tomatoes are your confirmation. You could be wearing a lot more orange or red lately but mostly orange or you're needing to. You're embracing all of your flaws and challenges with so much confidence. When it comes to "danger" you laugh in its face... The Lion King may be significant as well too. Lions are significant especially the lioness, some of you may even work with Goddesses who are associated with fierceness, fire, creativity, abundance, fertility and beauty.

The challenges you had to endure, you didn't let them slow you down nor stop you however, you're also not afraid to hide the scares of your past on your sleeve. You could be a person that considers themselves as an "open book", you're not afraid to share your story... but for others you're being called to do this. This may help you to heal or shed light or even bring awareness to those around you whether they're a friend/family member or a complete stranger. You're in the season of harvest and abundance. I feel like Autumn, Winter and Spring are going to be very crucial to you in some way... I'm getting like a "pivotal moment" of your life. If you didn't have enough or anything to share, you will soon. I'm seeing happiness and celebration here, I'm also hearing "everything is connecting".

You are or will be celebrated and acknowledged for your hard work, I'm also seeing someone receiving good news so the number 3 may be significant to you. There's heavy energy about you sharing or being a messenger of some kind. This may be what I stated before, you speaking on your past experience and all of the challenges and obstacles you had to endure. Your story will be heard and that's the reassurance that you're guides are giving you because maybe, you never been heard before or felt this way but now the story and tables are changing. Think of it as an alternate Universe, the other Universe you were from was negative and in lack but this timeline or Universe, everything will be positive and abundant. Quantum leaping/ jumping timelines could be very significant for you too. 1010,99,101010, 999 are your numbers of confirmation.

You have found the hidden gem within you, the light, the torch and now it's time to show the world... let the world see. "My Umi said shine your light on the world, shine your light so the World can see" My Umi by Mos def is significant. I was also getting the vibe of Sekhmet and Hekate too! I hope this helps!

**Please keep in mind that these messages are for the collective so these messages may or may not resonate with you or your situation, If you would like a personal reading, my prices, cash app, and Paypal are all posted and pinned on my profile. BEFORE SENDING IN ANY PAYMENT PLEASE BE SURE TO DM ME FIRST! I am also offering $5 readings (mini reads) for those who are interested! Thank You!**

[jq37]

Descendants: The Rise of Red is kind of a bizarre movie to talk about critically because, imo, it almost doesn't make sense to talk about it in the usual terms of good vs bad or enjoyable vs not enjoyable when the way more obvious tension is finished vs unfinished.

Because, more than any other movie I've ever seen, it does *not* read as a full movie. And I don't mean in a "this movie has a cliffhanger" kind of way. The Empire Strikes Back and Across the Spiderverse fit that description. They end on big dramatic cliffhangers that point to a resolution in the third installment.

But Rise of Red just sets all this stuff up and then...ends without concluding anything. It doesn't feel like the first movie in a trilogy (or duology). It feels like the first act of a two-act musical. It very specifically reminds me of the end of the first act of Into the Woods where all the main characters sing the song Ever After about how they all fixed their problems with magic and nothing bad will ever happen to them again and then the narrator ominously says "To be continued" before the curtain drops. But in Into the Woods you know there's a second act and this movie wasn't sold as the first act of a bigger story. Like sure, it has the, "You didn't think this was the end" tag at the end like all the other movies, but those movies were complete, self-contained stories even though they had sequels. This was NOT a full story. It's half of one story.

Like, if we're supposed to take this as a full story, there are so many bizarre choices:

Why did they make sure to mention that Cinderella and Charming fell in love at the ball at the top if it wasn't meant to set up Back to the Future style, "Oh no, I accidentally got my mom banned from the ball so she's not gonna fall in love with Dad and I won't be born" shenanigans?

Why did Maddox very pointedly have that bit about "you could lose your mom completely" if that was never going to come into play? Red never did anything to endanger Bridget or endanger her own birth so it doesn't make sense as a warning in that way.

Why was there all this focus on this Carrie on prom night moment for Bridget if we LITERALLY NEVER SAW CASTLECOMING? Why dance around this moment and talk about it all cloak and dagger with no specificity if they weren't building up to some big reveal that it wasn't as straightforward as it seemed? And like, they leaned in HARD with making Bridget the nicest, sweetest, cotton candy princess as a teen so I need WAY more than, "She got pranked by known bullies she's been enduring with a smile very handily up to this point" to buy that she went from that to "murderous dictator". And even if she did become murderous, I find it insanely hard to believe that she'd include her best and only friend on the list of people she wants to suffer unless there was a betrayal. I find it INSANE that there wasn't a falling out scene at any point in this movie with how thickly they were laying on the admiration and camaraderie.

(Note: And adult Cinderella def has guilty vibes re: the Queen at orientation. Which I know I'm not imagining because it's literally spelled out in the Jr Novelization!)

Before the time travel element of the movie started, I thought they were going for something like they go to the past and realize that Bridget was bullied not by the VKs but by the spoiled royals, and Ella ends up joining in the bullying once she gets with Charming, betraying Bridget and justifying her whole "Love Ain't It" philosophy. Or Ella ditching her at the last minute to be with Charming meaning she has to deal with the monster prank alone and it was the being alone rather than the prank itself that hurt her (though that is NOT a good enough reason to go all off with their heads on your subjects). The fact that, as far as we know right now, it literally was just a relatively mild and reversible prank that caused all of this is just, such flat storytelling, you know?

But! All of this makes way more sense if this is meant to be the first act of a single contained story. And I don't wanna be all "Pepe Silvia, secret good 4th episode of Sherlock" about this but I did see this picture:

Which seems to indicate that this was written as a Part One. Which, if so, idk why they wouldn't advertise it that way but whatever. The point is, if that's the case then it means that we're potentially in bad pacing territory rather than straight up bad storytelling territory. Because this isn't a bad place to be halfway through your story:

The heroes, warned that time travel is dangerous, have gone back in time to change the heart of a brutal tyrant before she can stage a coup. They seemingly succeed in their mission and when they come home, everything is great! But then, the side effects of time travel start to catch up with them. Chloe realizes that, in breaking the vase, she prevented her mother from going to the ball and falling in love with her dad (who was conspicuously absent from the final scene btw) which means she's starting to be forgotten and erased from the timeline. And Red realizes that though this new version of her mom is as sweet and kind as the teen she once met, she's a complete stranger to her (fulfilling the Hatter's warning that she could lose her mom completely). So they have to go back in time once more to make sure the Ella and Charming fall in love again, perhaps at the cost of whatever bad thing that happened to Bridget happening again and bringing back the original version of her future self. But, now with more context of how her mom became that way, Red can now talk to her mother and persuade her to give people another chance.

Boom, that gives us time to go back and hit everything we haven't yet hit. We can pay off the time travel tropes that were set up but not explored. We can go to Castlecoming which feels so obviously set up to be the centerpiece of this story (like, come on, Back to the Future literally does the school dance thing. This is Time Travel Storytelling 101). We can actually get info about what the prank was and why it affected Bridget so completely.

(Note: This is a side thing but it really strikes me as so crazy that Bridget would so SUCH a big 180 here. Like, I know the Queen of Hearts is a silly, goofy, campy villain, but she straight up murders people and there's no way to get around that if we're taking her out of the surreal story she comes from and putting her in a (comparatively) grounded story. If I wasn't doing a betrayal plot, I would make the twist that the spell that turned Bridget into a "monster" didn't just have a physical effect, it had a mental effect and it magically twisted her personality to be the way it is now. So they broke the physical half of the curse, but neglected the other half and it's been festering the whole time, turning her as evil as she was sweet. Because like, a simple physical transformation isn't that big of a deal to have such heavy security--Bridget made cupcakes with a transformative effect and that was totally fine. I'm not saying that that's what's gonna be the case. I just think it would be an explanation that makes sense for why she changed so crazy much that makes more sense than a simple prank or even a betrayal. Her mom wasn't even evil! How did she go from zero to murder without even an evil mom to push her onto the path? But I'm super digressing right now.)

(Note #2: OK, one last thing. The trap on the book presumably would have hit the VK's and trapped them in Merlin's office regardless of what Chloe and Red did, right? That's like, net zero influence on the timeline. I genuinely can't tell if that's a straight up plot hole or set up to be like, "Oh no. Actually when she said that she was turned into a monster in front of everyone it was meant in a less literal way." Like she was just made to look bad and that was the real thing that pushed her over the edge. Like idk. It really feels like the only thing they really did that would change the timeline was get Ella banned from the dance and presumably out of the way where she couldn't hurt Bridget. OK NOW I'm done.)

Anyway, my point is that this is not how I would have structured my movie and I think this was a super weird way to go into the second era of Descendants movies, but they can still tell a complete story if that's their plan. I'm genuinely really curious to see if this pans out to be a fairly competently told story that just happens to be split over two movies or a complete fumbling of the narrative bag because it could really be either at this point and it's fascinating to me.

[not-wholly-unheroic]

This is a weird question, but y'know how some versions of Hook are super serious nearly all of the time (like in the novel and in Peter Pan and the Pirates) and some of them are only semi-serious (like the Cyril Ritchard one)? Where does Disney Hook sit on that scale of silly to serious? What do you think the ideal ratio is?

Another thing, how rich looking do you like Hook to be? Toned down like his OG stage appearance or crazy, stupid, impractical wealthy looking like Hoffman's Hook?

Love the blog btw :)

Aw, thanks so much! I’m always happy to hear someone is enjoying my content and I’m not just rambling about my favorite character into the void. 😅

So…as this is primarily a Disney Hook blog, I’m admittedly a little bit biased in my preference. I love most versions of Hook (though there are a few I actually really dislike because I feel they do a disservice to the character), but Disney has a special place in my heart because it was Disney’s version that first drew me to the character and convinced me to read the novel. I was intrigued by the fact that he could simultaneously be a legitimately threatening villain and also show emotions like fear and despair that we so rarely saw in animated villain characters from that era. It was these moments of “weakness” that made him actually seem human to me. A Hook (or any character) who is TOO stoic and frightening either becomes entirely unlikable because the audience can’t relate to them or they become a sort of flat, boring stereotype, a sort of caricature of villainy.

The more classic Disney villains are generally meant to be the sort of character we love to hate and hate to love. They’re supposed to be a little over the top and larger than life. They’re meant to revel in their villainy while still being entertaining. We’re supposed to like them at least to a point even if we seriously disagree with their moral standpoint on things. There are a few, however, who become a little too “real” and who I genuinely despise… Frollo comes to mind. There is nothing “fun” about Frollo. He’s a racist, misogynistic, ableist man who mis-uses the name of God and his authoritative position to get what he wants. Is Frollo a well-written villain? Oh, absolutely. Is there anything about him that I find likable or redeemable? I mean, he has a good singing voice… But that’s about the only nice thing I can say about him. He’s a terrible person and I have zero sympathy for him at his death.

But to return to Hook specifically…. What I find interesting is that although Disney’s Hook is often accused of being too silly, really the only thing that makes him a comical villain is his fear reactions to the crocodile (and octopus if you include the sequel). And that is entirely a function of the lens we are given to view him as the audience. The music we hear in the background as the crocodile’s theme is rather lighthearted and the other characters (the heroes) are often making fun of him in the scenes where he’s having a complete breakdown and running/swimming for his life. But if we switched the music to something more ominous (check out the Drewe & Stiles Peter Pan musical theme for the crocodile—it’s frankly terrifying) and saw things from Hook’s perspective…it would really give off the same vibes as, say, Jaws or Jurassic Park. I strongly suspect that if it were our heroes being chased by the crocodile, things would look/sound/feel very different. Case in point…go watch clips of Pinocchio where Jiminy Cricket, Pinocchio, and Geppetto are fleeing Monstro the Whale and compare them side by side with Hook’s interactions with the crocodile. One is portrayed as comedic while the other is an action scene where we feel like the characters are genuinely in danger…but realistically, the same thing is happening in both. (Side note… I was absolutely TERRIFIED of that scene in Pinocchio as a kid. I literally had nightmares about it…so maybe I just relate a little too hard to Hook’s reaction and that’s why I’m so defensive of him.)

Compared to certain other Hooks, Disney’s is rather…soft, high-strung, and prone to being emotional but…that’s actually what I like most about him. That said, there are absolutely moments when we are reminded that we should be afraid of him. Heck, he shoots a man dead in his first few minutes of screen time which is more than most villains do. During the scene in Skull Rock, he climbs up behind Peter and—if Wendy hadn’t warned him in time of Hook’s approach—would have sunk the claw in through Peter’s eye socket. Not to mention the fact that he threatens Tiger Lily’s life and afterlife, sends a bomb to a child, and would have gladly allowed every single one of the Lost Boys and Darlings to walk off the plank to drown when they wouldn’t sign on with his crew. We also have him mention in passing “boiling in oil…keelhauling…marooning…” which would seem to imply that these are things he has done before and is willing to do again. In Return to Neverland we arguably have some even scarier moments on-screen. That final showdown with Jane…there are moments where you can see the murder in his eyes. He nearly lops off Jane’s hand at one point and then immediately attempts to run her through with his sword when that fails. A few seconds too late and she would have been a goner. In those moments, we are reminded of exactly what Hook is capable of and why the children should be afraid of him.

Disney’s Hook is, I think, a good mixture of scary and sympathetic; humorous and heavy…and that’s why he’s my favorite Hook. He’s very human and it makes him a lot of fun to play around with as a writer.

To answer your second question regarding Hook’s opulence…I tend to prefer my Hooks to be somewhere in the middle—wealthy but not totally impractical. If you go back through the series I did looking at versions of the Jolly Roger in different Peter Pan media and what we could learn about that particular Hook from his ship, Disney and Isaacs come out as two of the “middle ground” Hooks who I would label as well-off (unlike Jude Law’s Hook, who seems more like any other average sailor in terms of his wealth) but not rich to the point of impractical extravagance (like Hoffman’s Hook).