#they were a shitty person and messed with your mental state <3 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tumblingxelian · 6 months ago

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Hi @sruthi9018, I hope you don't mind me sharing these amazing tags!

#RWBY #yeah this is great it outlines a lot of why I don't really like Taiyang too #I was good with him until his messed up ''joke'' to Yang in V4 #nowhere else has that sort of ''humour'' been used and Port and Oobleck were rightfully horrified at hearing that #like.. it might be just how it is between Yang and Tai but idk maybe dont use that really traumatic incident to joke #about how your daughter lost braincells. . #like we have seen how that incident traumatized her in relation to Blake and Adam and she was already questioning her sanity so like.. #I would imagine that it only contributes to Yang not valuing herself and her own thoughts and smarts and decision making skills #because she can't trust her own brain and memories and just herself in general since she's the ''reckless and thoughtless brawler'' #nevermind that she's one of the smartest characters in the show both technically and emotionally #sorry I just have a lot of feelings on this

Cos yes, I too was deeply unimpressed by his humor. I always felt the need to note that if that is "Just the way it is between them" then its clearly a one way street given Yang doesn't fire back about his inability to keep a wife or something equally hurtful.

There is also the fact she only shifted into laughing about it after Oobleck dropped his cup, as if reminding her, "Oh shit, people, break the tension!"

As it is, we have seen that kind of "Humor" used by one person in one relationship to moderately good effect. It was Qrow talking to Yang in volume 3.

I didn't like it at the time but its since been highlighted that despite his sharp tongued delivery Yang was actually quite comfortable confiding her concerns about her mental state with him & was not seemingly shocked or upset by his phrasing the way she was with Tai.

This indicates a level of familiarity and trust, one further emphasized by Yang being a lot more freewheeling with the snarky disrespect with him earlier in the volume. Which sets up as this actually being their dynamic as opposed to a one way street where Tai can just shout insults when Yang disagrees with him & she laughs before giving him what he wants.

Also in regards to other feedback we have, @gimme-tea-bitch with:

Yup yup yup! many reasons here why i kinda hate tai i mean i get his issues and hes a complicated character but the way he treats Yang is so biased and bullshit and he's a shitty father but it all makes me love Yang even more Yang is so far ahead of Tai even at what is her lowest point he's trying to “teach” her stuff she long ago figured out and it's coincidently a perfect example of their relationship because tai wasnt there not for yang i forget who made this post that i think explains it perfectly Tai's advice is predicated on who he thinks yang is. Because he wasnt there to actually see yang grow if he had been there for her he wouldve known how not just physically strong she is but the sheer emotional resilience she has The intelligence she has always had and honed maybe shes not a tactician like ruby but it shows in the vytal festival how she as a freshman is out playing and defeating people older than her left and right. Even someone like mercury who is shown to be a real threat yes he was probably holding back somewhat to not blow his cover but she still bodies him yang even then is a frankly incredible fighter way above her peers

Gonna zero in on the italicized stuff because, yes, so much this.

Yang has highlighted before now that Tai was not necessarily the most checked in parent. People like to claim that after the Beowolf incident he miraculously got better but we never actually got confirmation of that. Especially as it was Qrow who saved them.

So while we know he wasn't 100% gone, we don't know how much he did, especially that was like, serious, hard yards parenting and not easy fun stuff like buying a treat or sending a dog in the mail.

This is especially important because volume 5 has Yang outright state how much of the burden of keeping the family together fell on her shoulders & how much this damaged her. So its clear his was an ongoing and rather drawn out problem, not just a case of a few weeks.

Which ties into him not really knowing Yang as well as he thinks he does. Further supported y Ruby's line from volume 9, regarding who raised her, IE, Yang.

The show has no reason to do stuff like this then turn around in V10 & say "Actually he was the bestest dad to ever dad, roast them kids with your scathing 'critique' Tai!"

Like, it would literally be the show ignoring its own foreshadowing to call Yang & Ruby liars for no reason, while ignoring its recurring themes.

It feels especially pertinant to also note that Qrow's drinking was handled much the same.

IE, he's introduced with this not great, very rough habit, but hey its fun, people are making jokes, he's making jokes, his nieces love him, its great...

Then V5 comes in with Ruby clearly being used to & unhappy with a drunk off his ass Qrow being carted home by a stranger. Followed up with V6 making it clear the "Functional" part of "Functional alcoholic" is not a real thing. That both Yang & Ruby are clearly used to & impacted by this & it explicitly putting the cast in danger & being something Qrow needs to overcome.

Like, this is not a new thematic trend for the writers, ya know?

As to Mercury, I actually don't think he was holding back.

The thing with their plan is it works just as well if Yang loses and he goes up t shake her hand then she shoots him. & while skilled, Mercury's never been presented as threatening in a one on one fight as even Adam was.

Especially given CRWBY don't really go for "Hurting someone makes them stronger, traumatic training is best training, be edgy to be strong."

If anything, stuff like that usually undermines a characters strength. Hence Yang demonstrating to Blake how much she needed rest, rather than to obsessively pursue her goals. Or how Ren suppressing all of his issues, or Jaune falling back on bigger swords & anger serve to weaken them over helping them.

At the end of the day, Mercury may have been told his father training was to make him stronger. But really it was just an abusive means of control.

At least that's my take.

A Necessary Post - Yang, Taiyang & Seeing Red

I debated this being a message or a note or a reblog, but ultimately this warranted an essay. Because a hatred of nuance is not even remotely the reason why Tai is critiqued as a teacher or father.

With that fact in mind, let's begin:

During RWBY Volume 4, Episode 9: Two Steps Forward, Two Steps Back Taiyang has a great deal of critical feedback for Yang regarding her fighting style, personality & Semblance.

The issue is that Tai's words and advice when compared to what we saw on screen before & afterwards demonstrate he does not understand how it works or how she used it.

So here for your reading pleasure if a more or less line by line breakdown of Tai's advice and why I don't feel it holds up & more to the point, why I don't believe Yang utilized it.

Taiyang: Do you realize that you used your Semblance to win every fight after the qualifiers?

Yang rightfully points out that her using Burn is no different than anyone else using their Semblances. I would add that Yang's Semblance only serves to enhance her already present abilities with damage taken in a fight. So her not using it would be stupidly holding back extra energy for no reason.

Tai's critique also fails to register that when using her Semblance to take out FNKI, Yang specifically disrupted the ground so Neon could not skate effectively & used the boost in power to turn Flynt's own weapon against him.

I will be addressing Mercury further down but she used it effectively and intellectually here and to great effect.

What's more, every other fights fighting style, weapons or both were literally built around their Semblances. Yang's threat level remains fairly consistent without her Semblance, all three of these other characters take a huge dip.

Taiyang: Because not everyone else's is basically a temper tantrum.

Ignoring that calling the manifestation of Yang's soul a temper tantrum is another in a long line if dickish things Tai says to Yang. Her Semblance literally does not work that way.

Her anger has jack and shit to do with it, this has been explained & demonstrated time and time again. Yang only gets a power boost when she's been injured, the fact she tends to be angry when using it is because being hurt sucks and she's usually in an intense fight. When the fight is going well and she still gets to use it she's not angry, as seen with a pleased smirk here:

So as before, Tai's critique is bereft of any merit, Yang's Semblance does not work that way.

Taiyang: I'm serious! Once you take damage, you can dish it back twice as hard, but that doesn't make you invincible!

Cite a time Yang thought she was invincible, cite it provably that Yang thought, said or indicated that she felt she was invincible. You can't because Yang never indicated as such this is something Tai is assuming about her at best.

& no her jumping in the Nevermore's mouth is not an example because she was not using her Semblance, did not take damage, it was a very effective strategy & seemingly either part of the plan, or was so easily understood that it could be safely and reliably worked into the plan. She wasn't using her Semblance here but finding evidence of risky behavior was hard, especially with her Semblance, go figure.

In fact every time Yang used her Semblance she did so only because someone landed a blow, which just happens in fights sometimes.

Taiyang: It's great when you're in a bind, but what happens if you miss? What happens if they're stronger? What then? Now you're just weak and tired!

We know what happens when Yang misses, she can swing again!

After the first blow on the Paladin she missed & needed help to catch it, her missing had zero impact on her Semblances.

As to what happens if they are stronger, um, she loses, that sometimes happens in fights. Its not something Yang can do anything about by holding back on extra strength. Not to quote Qrow but sometimes bad things happen. Other characters losing to stronger opponents don't get given this kind of diatribe's because its pointedly obvious that there was nothing to be done about it.

& on the final piece, she was very pointedly not weak and tired after using it. The only times she has been shown to be is when she was extremely low on Aura regardless in which cases not using her Semblance is a death sentence.

So again, we've established Tai's critique comes from nowhere & his understanding of her Semblance is nonexistent.

Taiyang: But you gotta keep your emotions in check. Keep a level head, and think before you act. Your Semblance is a great fallback, but you can't let yourself rely on it.

This is so painfully unfair it hurts.

No other character gets this kind of shit for expressing emotions in combat. In fact we see characters expressing emotions in battle all the time. Nor has she stopped displaying emotions in combat:

I already outlined how in all two of the Yang fights Tai actually witnessed she used strategy and retained excellent combat form. So again, baseless claims from Tai.

What's more, Yang primarily does use her Semblance as a fallback rather than rely on it in these fights. She only whipped it out against Mercury when he'd unleashed his seeming kill move on her and was confident he'd won.

Not using it here would be dumb and make no sense.

Yang doesn't rely on it to save her, she deploys it when it makes sense to & she has the energy or the need. This is more than we see from many characters.

Taiyang: It won't always save you. Obviously.

So now he is critiquing her for a fight he didn't even witness & knows jack shit about. So let's break this down once again:

Yang has spent the last 24 hours questions her sanity.

Yang's new home (Her words) is burning down.

Yang's sister is missing in all this chaos.

Then Yang's partner gets fucking stabbed, and the guy who did it is standing between them with a sword & gun, with fire all over Grimm all around.

Anything Yang can do he can counter, she tries to go around he only has to pivot. If she tries to fire from long range she might hit Blake. She tries an earth shock wave, she launches Blake into the fire.

She quite literally had no others options & zero time to try anything else because he can just shoot or stab Blake whenever he wants.

Taiyang: You definitely have your mom's stubbornness.

This, this right here is where all this is actually coming from. Tai is once again projecting Raven onto Yang despite them frankly having almost nothing in common.

With most of Yang's visible personality tells being inherited from Summer, such as the mother daughter shoulder check of V9. Thanks to chittychittyyangyang for the GIFs

Or as outlined in some songs with Yang's side of the lyrics explicitly citing how she is trying to fill the Summer shaped void in their lives.

Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away.

Taiyang: Your mother was... a complicated woman. Like everybody, she had her faults, but those faults are what tore our team apart. And, it did a real number on our family.

Tai blames Raven for tearing their team apart. Save that by all accounts, barring her absence things seemed to be going fine. Qrow seemed to be present in their lives, Tai looked happy, the girls were happy & Summer at least seemed happy though we know she was covering up a lot of dread.

Keep in mind Tai is projecting Raven, the woman he blames for destroying the team and damaging the family onto his daughter who literally kept the family together after Summer died. Yang's established this, Ruby has established this, its canon.

Yang: I had to pick up the pieces. I had to keep things together. Alone. (pause) Weiss, if you have something to say, then say it. Ruby: If you thought we wouldn’t come for you, then you must’ve forgotten who raised me.

Tai was not the one holding that home or family together. Unless you think the writers are gonna randomly swerve & say both Yang & Ruby are big whiny liars for some utterly nonsensical reasons. So no, I don't take him seriously as a narrator or critique of Yang, I have no reason to.

But let's push on, because I'm not done.

Taiyang: You both act like the easiest way to tackle an obstacle is through it. (pointing at Zwei) That strength is all that matters in a fight.

Ah yes, Raven, the woman famously known for thinking the easiest way to deal with an obstacles is to tackle it head on. That's why she spent years adorning herself in a Grimm helmet that hid her eyes & raised a False Maiden to serve as her body double.

A woman so inclined to rely on her own raw strength that when she was ambushed by Salem's forces she decided to trick them into an ambush.

Then when fighting Cinder and was at a disadvantage she freezes her in place while making Cinder think she is going on the offensive leaving her to be crushed by Stalactites & also utilized mind games to distract her & deal the finishing blow... Cos she only relies on strength.

As to his final piece of advice I already address it up above, there was no way around Adam, the situation was fucked from the start.

Saying it was Yang's fault she was dismembered is no more than victim blaming, I stood by that in Volume 3 to to this day & beyond.

Taiyang: But if you just take a second look, then maybe you see... (walking toward her, stepping around Zwei) there's a way around as well.

But let's actually look at Seeing Red & if Yang listened to Tai's advice or if she not only ignored it but did the opposite of what he ordered.

Let's see she goes in with open aggression & emotions, and also takes many blows rather than going 'around' them somehow.

Yang, as if she were 'indestructible' outright tanks a massively charged up Aura beam for the purpose of increasing her strength.

Then burns through all of her Aura & Semblance energies delivering one direct blow, relying on it to save her & leaving her weak & tired.

Or in other words, she:

Yang didn't miss, but we know that isn't a real issue anyway.

Yang used her Semblance to 'win' the fight & very much did rely on it to save her.

Yang expressed anger & many other emotions in the battle & still continues to does so.

Yang willingly took huge risks that involved her being able to take tons of damage rather than go "Around" the problem.

Yang knew Adam was likely stronger given it was 2 V1 but relied on her Semblance to get her out of that bind and she was in fact left weak and tired.

This is also the first time she has done several of these things, or otherwise demonstrated these traits, such as being left weak and tired or willingly tanking big attacks rather than just being hit by surprise or due to being overwhelmed.

I don't take Tai's advice seriously because none of it was accurate or aligned with the Semblance we saw in action or had described to us.

I don't trust Tai's opinion on Yang because his take on her is explicitly informed by Raven & not the Yang we spent four & then five more volumes getting to know.

I don't take Tai's words over Yang's, Ruby's or what we see on screen because Tai is at best a secondary or minor character & a recurring theme in RWBY is the failure of older generations.

These failures are not just in the past but how they have been consistently failing the next generation as the story is being told. There is zero reason to think Tai is some magic exception to this narrative trend when much more well explored characters like Maria, Qrow, Ozpin, Ironwood, Raven, and hell, Summer Rose are not.

& that is my stance on that, thanks for tuning in!

#Did not expect paste without formatting to bring about the changes it did XD

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brainlessrot · 3 years ago

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Twisted Wonderland characters as “If i jump at them they will most definitely catch me in their arms” Part 3/5

Contents ;; GN!MC (referred as Prefect) mentions of minor injuries, can be seen as platonic or romantic!

Characters ;; Octavinelle and Scarabia Dorm members

☰ Menu

| Part 1, Heartslabyul |

| Part 2, Savanaclaw |

| Part 3, Octavinelle + Scarabia | <

| Part 4, Pomefiore + Ighnihyde |

| Part 5, Diasomnia |

| Extra part, Staff Members |

Prompt: Ace dares you to jump at the first person to come around the corner to see if they'll catch you.

Azul ;; seven help him, he's still not completely used to his land body, even less legs! He'll be falling flat on the floor

Great, now you're about to murder this guy just because Ace told you to. Look at him! He's just trying to read his (evil little) book! And here you come, ready to jump at him, and even if it makes you end in jail, you can't chicken out of it now.

The moment he hears you running at him as if he was a bucket of chum makes him freak out. He's looking around wildly trying to figure out what is happening, his weird, fleshy legs aren't responding to him. like his tentacles would, and he stays frozen in fear.

When you jump at him, he lets the book fall at his feet, lifting his arms. Was that a weak attempt to hold you or was he only trying to protect his face? After all, glasses are very expensive. Perhaps both, perhaps none.

His body crashes against the floor quite harshly, you must admit, and you even fear that you actually ended his life, but his groaning states that no, even if his usually perfect dorm uniform was quite… ragged and disheveled to be nice, he was still breathing and alive. Good! Now Grim doesn't have to worry about you getting him tuna from jail!

Now, you help him up, asking for forgiveness. He's still quite dizzy, so please help him get to his dorm, and maybe treat him to something nice.

Jade ;; ah… you would be better off falling down a cliff. He will surely grab you, even if he has to drop something… but it will have a price for you.

You looked at Ace, begging him with your eyes to back let you back off of the dare. You did NOT want to die yet. The only response you got was a shitty smirk and a push from Ace.

You noted mentally that you would make his life terrible for making you do this.

You took a strong breath before bolting in his direction, at which he quickly reacted, looking at you with a surprised face, but only for a second, before the corner of his lips lifted slightly, a sardonic smile on his face that showed his sharp and dangerous teeth.

“Oya?” He dropped the stacks of papers and notebooks he was holding, probably for class or for the lounge. It didn't matter either way, as they laid forgotten at his feet while his arms were now occupied with your body, his hands under your legs to support your weight. “What are you doing, Prefect?” His smile sent shivers down your spine, and you tried to get as physically far as possible, but his hold on you didn’t allow much distance.

“Hmm, don’t you think you could have gotten quite… hurt?” You believe he was the danger. As he saw you struggle, he tightened his grasp on you for a second, before actually letting you down. You could feel the way those teeth that showed behind his smile could sink in your flesh and tear it apart, and you did not want to experience it any time soon, so you sank further away from him.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Your body froze as he stared at you, his arm pointing down at the mess you had created. “Don’t think you’re getting away without paying for causing this chaos, it’s your fault, after all.”

Yeah, Ace was mentally preparing what outfit he was going to wear at your funeral.

Floyd ;; depends on his mood, either he grabs you and slings you over his shoulder like a potato sack and runs away, turns around and leaves without acknowledging you or (in the worst possible scenario) slams you against the floor for annoying him, lets hope its the most peaceful option.

Your eyes widen, you don't even know how to react. Sure, he could catch you (and squeeze you in the process) but if he was in a bad mood, you could also end in the hospital easily, and you did not want to put your life on a dice roll. Idia was the RNG god, not you.

But apparently, today you were the Seven’s favourite, since Floyd, the moment he laid eyes on you, smiled and enthusiastically waved his hand high in the air.

“Lil’ Shrimpy!!” He started speed walking at you, and you used that to your opportunity, starting to sprint in his direction.

His smile widened, showing off his sharp teeth. He stopped moving, opting instead to spread his legs to get a better footing and opening his arms, ready to catch you.

You both were smiling as you crashed into each other. He quickly held onto you, spinning you both around for a couple of seconds.

“Shrimpy!!!! That was so fun! Let’s do it again!!” His arms around you are tightening, not enough to crush you or break a rib…yet, but enough so that you could not squirm against his hold. “Ohh, but if I’m late, Azul will punish me by making me do the dishes…” His smile faltered, but it quickly was replaced by one of his toothy grins. “I know! I know! I’ll bring you with me!”

And then, he slung you on his shoulder, putting a hand at the back of your knee for support. You tried hitting his back but he didn’t care, only laughing and even shaking you around as revenge.

You got very strange looks as you both walked through the corridors towards the mirror chamber.

Kalim ;; HE TRIES, he is capable of lifting you up, but he might get startled and fall with you.

Uh oh, you’re gonna make Jamil’s headache even worse.

Kalim smiles as he sees you. If he was the sun, he looked at you as if you were his sky. He smiled bright enough to blind you, but that didn't stop you coming at full speed at him.

The moment you did not stop, he looked confused, almost scared. Did you turn on him? Absolutely not, he told himself, you were way too nice to sell yourself to one of those noble families that wanted him gone, he trusted you.

Therefore, he was not that startled when you opened your arms and jumped at him, his smile widened even more, which would torment you until your death if you actually made him topple over and hurt even a single ONE of the hairs in his head.

Jamil, even at Scarabia Dorm, could sense that some trouble was happening.

He actually managed to grab you on time! He held you tight to his body, spinning on his heels a couple of times, twirling you both. His laugh crackled through the air, and damn the Seven, it was so contagious. You could not manage to not laugh with him.

He lets you softly on the floor, but still holds onto you, his arms around yours.

He gently swayed you both around, going around some flower pots in the garden.

As he hugged you tight, his foot got caught on a stray root, and as his hold on you was pretty strong, dragged you down with him.

You were worried that you hurt him, but he only laughed, his eyes closed and wrinkling at the edges.

"Woops." Was the only thing he said before you joined in his giggling.

But let's not forget Jamil, who was now running around in search of Kalim.

Jamil ;; poor jamil, he will most definitely catch you, but may scold you afterwards, please dont stress him out even more, if you say you trusted him to catch you, he’ll be a blushing mess

He had been sent to retrieve the notes Kalim had accidentally left at Crewel's class when he spotted you and Ace. And the way he whispered to you didn’t give him any good feelings.

He tried to spin on his heels and speed-walk away from you two as fast as he could, but as quick as that might have been, it wouldn’t surpass the speed at which you were already running at him.

Even as he tried to zig zag to get you off of his trail, you did not give up, so, the only thing he could do now was accept his fate. He spun around again. For the seven, he only wanted to finish his chores quickly and go back to Scarabia!

“What do you want prefe-EHK.” The moment he was facing you he had you already jumping at him, and the only response he could muster was dropping Kalim’s notes to pass his arms around you so you both wouldn’t fall and get hurt. He was, to say the least, shocked, what were you trying to do? Why would you do that? How could you do that? Why him!? It’s not as if you were sure he would have caught you, you could have fallen to the floor! He could have just ignored you, and continued walking away!

He tried asking you, but as you told him that you did it because you were sure he wouldn't have done that, he hid his face in your shoulder, unable to look you in the eye.

The moment he left you on the floor, he tried to clean the mess you had caused as quickly as possible, and refused you (multiple times) when you offered to help him. When he was done, he left as if he had never been there, well, except for a forgotten piece of paper with messily scribbled words on it.

“Thank you.” It said.

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sophthebof · 3 years ago

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I Am Once Again Emo About Jack Shephard - A Character Study

I love Jack Shephard. I didn’t used to. Now I do. Jack Shephard in my mind is...a fantastic, subversive and fascinating protagonist. I was thinking about his character and arc yet again today and I came to the conclusion that a large reason why people tend to dislike him is because the expectations they have of his character are very different from the reality.

To put it simply: Jack Shephard is is not a big strong, sure, leader man. He is an emotional, broken, mess of a man pretending to be a big strong leader man, until the very end of the story.

I used to say that Jack was only the main character of Lost by convenience - because they needed someone to fit the role, and why not him? But that’s not the case. Jack Shephard is the main character because it takes him all of the events of all six seasons to truly heal and become “whole” in a way that it doesn’t for anybody else.

I was thinking about this and I wanted to list every emotional trial and struggle that Jack goes through over the course of the show, in order.

So, to start off, pre-island:

1. You can’t mention Jack without mentioning his Daddy Issues courtesy of Christian Shephard - so number one, his shitty father. I could mention this over and over again throughout the list, but I’m only going to once. So straightforwardly - Jack’s emotionally abusive, alcoholic father, and Jack’s tumultuous relationship with him, put a massive strain on his emotional wellbeing and self-confidence from the very beginning to very end of the show. So much of what Jack does, consciously and unconsciously, is in an attempt to prove to himself that his father was wrong about Jack and how he treated him. The tragic thing is, he never can or will be able to.

2. Related to (1), as a lot of this is - Jack’s compulsive need to “fix” things. (I could write a whole post just on this, but...) This is stated explicitly in the show, and for good reason. A part of Jack believes that everything that is wrong can be made better - and if he doesn’t personally make it better, than that is a personal failure. This is related to the emotional abuse from Christian, but I honestly think a part of it is just innate to Jack’s personality. I’m sure some people headcanon this as a symptom of a mental illness, which is completely valid, but for the purposes of this I’ll just leave it at: this is a very significant mental loop that Jack spends his life trying to fulfill but that he - again - will never be able to. This innate drive is a large part of why he takes on the Leader mantle on the Island.

3. A direct cause of (2) is that Jack cannot deal with failure. When he fails, or when something close to him fails, the external causes do not register, because he could have prevented it. He could have done differently, and it’s his fault that things went wrong since he didn’t. This is demonstrated in his marriage with Sarah. When the marriage starts falling apart, Jack resorts to his feedback loop of thinking he can “fix” it on his own - and when he can’t, he blames himself entirely. We see examples of this on the island over and over again.

4. His father’s death. Was gonna leave this as part of (1) but I had too much to say. Jack’s complicated relationship with Christian only complicates his reaction to his death. Jack desperately seeks closure over this and feels like he has personally failed his father (see (2) and (3) !!!).

Additionally, there’s a relevant line from Bojack Horseman that I think of here: “Suddenly, you realize you'll never have the good relationship [with your parent] you wanted, and as long as they were alive, even though you'd never admit it, part of you - the stupidest goddamn part of you - was still holding on to that chance. And you didn't even realize it until that chance went away.”

So this is all of the baggage and unhealthy patterns that describe Jack at the time that he crash lands on the Island. And in my mind, the majority of seasons 1-3 from Jack’s point of view is him struggling to come to terms with (1) and (4) and being put in situations that force him to break the patterns of (2) and (3). And for the most part this goes well. We see a lot of character growth from Jack over the first half of the show. He takes up the leader mantle largely because his flawed mental patterns naturally guide him to, but he turns out to be good at it. He begins to accept that not everything is in his control. He learns (partly explicitly, partly not) that his father was wrong in how he treated him. This culminates in him giving everything he has in order to get his new found family off the Island. And he (and the audience!) thinks he’s succeeded -

Until the last scene of season 3.

Everyone loves the “we have to go back” cliffhanger for good reason, but I also think it’s brilliant in how it relates to Jack’s character arc. Jack’s decisions and growth that led him to get the Oceanic 6 off the Island, instead of resulting in a victory, resulted in what is - at least from his perspective - arguably the greatest failure of Jack’s life. And nobody else views it this way! The other people who got off the Island try to move on with their lives! Nobody blames Jack for anything! But we all know how Jack handles failure. He blames himself. So even though he tries to ignore it, he tries to move on, he cannot. Which leads us to:

5. Alcoholism. Funny enough, it wasn’t until writing this that I realized that Jack’s father also being an alcoholic adds another layer to Jack’s eventual descent into addiction. And while obviously addiction does not excuse in any way how Christian treated Jack, I think it may have eventually helped Jack understand a bit more what his father was going through in his last days, and eventually forgive himself and his father and move on. But he’s not there yet. At this point, Jack can only drown away the pain of his failures in alcohol and drive away

6. Kate. Jack ruins his relationship with Kate in a similar fashion to how his and Sarah’s fell apart, even if the context is very different - because he cannot let go of his need to fix things. He starts talking about going back to the Island, because that’s the only way out he can see. He drinks more. He loses further touch with reality. Kate leaves him.

At this point, Jack is at what I consider his lowest point of the show. His rock bottom. He has regressed back to (and even lower than) where he was before the Island. And this is fine to show! Progress is not linear!

He stops drowning in drink and self-pity when Ben starts helping him get back to the Island. He sees this as a way to fix some of his mistakes, but I think he also associates the Island with him getting better. He wants to be (partially) whole again like he was over the course of his months there with the Losties.

So he goes back. Season 5 happens. I love season 5. So much of it has nothing to do with Jack, and that’s fine. Until of course, the last few episodes.

Jack is back on the Island. Things are undoubtedly going better than they were at home, but inside Jack is still fundamentally broken. His baggage and his issues have not healed. So when he hears about the hydrogen bomb - blow it up and it’ll be like none of this ever happened - of course Jack’s going to do it. How could he not?? This is the ultimate way for him to fix everything, both for himself and everyone. Of course this is flawed logic, but mental patterns don’t care about that. In Jack’s mind this is the only thing that makes any sense.

So he blows up the bomb. His actions indirectly and inadvertently get Juliet killed. Everyone wakes up on the Island in present day. Nothing is fixed. Everything is worse. Jack has caused the very thing he was trying so hard to stop. And it’s this - this!! - that I think finally and fundamentally breaks through some of Jack’s walls and flawed patterns. He finally begins to understand, in the words of Daniel Faraday and others, “whatever happened, happened”.

I will admit upfront it’s been a long time since I’ve watched season 6, so forgive me if I get the details wrong. But after this Incident (heh) Jack stops trying to fix in the sense of changing things, and starts trying to apologize and to listen. He apologizes to Sawyer for his actions in season 5. He accepts that he was fundamentally wrong about many things. He tells Hurley “I came back here because I was broken...and I was stupid enough to think that this place could fix me”. He realizes that it is not the Island that will make him better, but himself and his relationships with others. When his friends die, he does not self destruct, but keeps fighting. He mends his flawed relationship with Kate. They confess that despite their flaws, they both love each other.

Elsewhere in the flash sideways, he has a relationship with the son he never had. This, combined with his experiences in the living world, culminate to show him that even though what his father did wasn’t okay, that he can move on from it. That he made big mistakes but they don’t have to be Jack’s own.

And finally, he takes on the mantle of leader of the Island. He does this not out of a flawed obligation to his failures, but because a deep part of him believes it is “what he is supposed to do”. He realizes he is going to die, and willingly does so, not because he is self destructive and does not want to be alive, but from an obligation to the Island and his friends family.

And this, finally concludes both Jack’s struggles and the story. I don’t think I can say it any better than how the writers themselves put it in the script:

"Jack Shephard has done what he came to this place to do. He has found his purpose. He has found love, and been loved. He has finally found a way to love himself. The bamboo sways across the blue sky, and Jack Shephard's eye closes one final time. He is gone. The end."

The end indeed.

#hope you guys enjoy #this is longer than i thought it would be wow #and now im about to cry #lost #lost meta #Jack Shephard #ABC Lost #talker32332post #lost season 5 #christian shephard #lost the end

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dekuskacchan · 3 years ago

Text

i will follow you into the dark

Rating: T

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a happy ending, Fluff

Summary: Izuku has finally returned to UA, and Katsuki will never let him go again.

Or: Izuku and Katsuki finally discuss their feelings.

A/N: Hi again, friends! Since chapter 322 is out now and dominating all of our lives, I felt inspired to write. This is intended to be a sequel to my fic "Tell Me I'm Dreaming," and takes place immediately after the events of chapter 322. So, spoilers are ahead for that chapter! I hope you like it <3

I'd also like to note: Izuku ate and took a bath when he got back, I just couldn't figure out how to work that in. Fear not, he is a clean and fed boy :')

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33153718

Katsuki watches the gentle rise and fall of Izuku’s chest as he sleeps, undoubtedly for the first time in days. He’d fallen asleep the second his head hit the pillow on the small bed in Recovery Girl’s office, and hasn’t budged since.

In the 12 hours Izuku has been back at UA, Katsuki has left his side once, only with substantial convincing from Glasses and Shitty Hair.

“Dude, he’ll probably be out cold for a few more hours. At least go scarf down some food and take a nap,” Shitty Hair said.

“Shut the fuck up,” Katsuki retorted, “I ate this morning. And I have slept.”

Kirishima let out an exasperated sigh that irritated Katsuki to no end.

“Did you come here just to piss me off?” he snapped.

“We are concerned for your well being, just as we are Midoriya’s,” Iida said, “you haven’t fully recovered from your own injuries yet. You need to rest.”

“I said I was fucking fine.”

Iida looked at him with knowing eyes and a gentle smile. It annoyed Katsuki even more.

“He won’t disappear if you stop watching him, Bakugou."

“Yeah. We’ll stay with him,” Kirishima added with a thumbs up.

Katsuki gritted his teeth. As much as he hated to admit it, they were right. His empty stomach only served to fuel his anger more.

“I hear they’re serving spicy curry for lunch in the cafeteria,” Iida coaxed.

Katsuki had relented at that point, not because it was his favorite, of course, the growling in his stomach was just giving him away.

Katsuki returned less than an hour later. Kirishima and Iida admittedly had reassured him, to some degree, but it wasn’t enough to quell his anxiety. Iida scolded him for refusing to rest, but did nothing to stop him, as if he knew his efforts were futile. The pair stayed with Katsuki at Izuku’s bedside a while longer, but left him to his devices nonetheless.

Half and Half stopped by some time later, tapping on Katsuki’s shoulder and waking him from a restless sleep in a shitty plastic chair at Izuku’s bedside.

“Wouldn’t it be more comfortable to sleep in your bed, Bakugou?” he asked, sitting in a chair adjacent to him.

“I was sleeping just fine before you fucking showed up, you Half and Half bastard,” Katsuki snarled.

“I’ve been here for an hour and a half, actually,” Todoroki stated. Always so fucking deadpan.

“Why the fuck did you wake me up now then?”

“You looked uncomfortable.”

“I’m fine, asshole,” Katsuki grumbled. Todoroki looked unconvinced.

“I figured you would say that. Here, I brought you this,” Todoroki produced a blanket from behind his chair and handed it to Katsuki.

“I don’t need your fucking charity," Katsuki grumbled, but accepted it anyway, silently grateful for refuge from the chill in the room.

“It’s no trouble,” Todoroki patted his shoulder.

“Tch.” Katsuki shrugged him off.

They sat in silence for a while. Izuku still hadn’t budged. Katsuki was worried, but some part of him was thankful that Izuku was finally fucking resting.

“Everyone is proud of you, you know,” Todoroki said quietly.

“Haah?!”

“It took courage, what you did. We know it’s not easy for you to express your emotions,” he paused, considering his next words, “it... doesn’t come naturally to me, either.”

“No shit!” Katsuki barked. Todoroki raised a finger to his lips to shush him and nodded at Izuku, who had grunted in his sleep.

“I’m just saying, your efforts aren’t unseen. We know you’ve been working hard, and that this has been weighing on you for a long time. If it weren’t for you, Midoriya might not have listened to us.”

“You don’t know shit,” Katsuki grumbled, averting his eyes. Katsuki was beginning to feel uncomfortable. He wasn’t good at this shit, and Todoroki knew it, so why wouldn’t he shut up?

“I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. We can change the topic,” Todoroki said, as if he could read Katsuki’s mind.

“Or we could stop fucking talking altogether,”

Todoroki smiled and nodded, returning his gaze to Izuku. Katsuki’s eyes followed and he frowned.

“He’s such a fucking idiot,” Katsuki muttered, leaning forward in his chair and resting his chin on his hand. Todoroki chuckled.

“He is certainly reckless,” Todoroki nodded, “I’m disappointed to learn he felt he had to keep such a big secret. But, he is my friend, and I will continue to be as supportive as I can. He would do the same for us.”

“No, he’d do more, and end up getting himself fucking killed."

“That’s…" Todoroki frowned, "probably true."

They were quiet for a few minutes, and then Todoroki fucking piped up again, much to Katsuki’s dismay.

“I know Midoriya appreciated what you said,” his voice was soft.

“Words don’t matter. Actions do,” Katsuki’s response was immediate.

“Well your actions have spoken clearly. “You're a better person than you think you are, Bakugou.”

Katsuki whipped his head to glare at Todoroki with an insult on his tongue, but he found himself speechless instead, staring with an incredulous look on his face. He mentally kicked himself for it.

“I just hope you know that, too,” Todoroki offered a half-smile.

Katsuki was frustratingly taken aback. He averted his eyes and looked at the ground with a scowl. That damn fucking Half and Half.

Todoroki thankfully shut his mouth after that. Katsuki wasn’t sure how long they sat together in silence. It wasn’t until the sun had set and the room began to fill with darkness that he heard Todoroki rise from his seat.

“I’m going to go lie down. You should, too,” Todoroki said plainly.

Katsuki sighed. He was right, but there was a sickeningly uneasy feeling in his gut whenever he thought about leaving that he just couldn’t shake.

“I…I can’t,” he whispered.

“Okay.”

Todoroki patted his shoulder again, and Katsuki didn’t push him away this time.

“Thanks,” Katsuki shrugged, “for the blanket or whatever.”

Todoroki nodded. He left the door cracked behind him on his way out.

Katsuki pulls the blanket around himself and reclines in his chair, putting his feet up on Todoroki’s abandoned one. It’s really fucking uncomfortable, but Katsuki knows it would be impossible to sleep if he were anywhere else.

After too many attempts to reposition himself comfortably, Katsuki groans and sits up straight, turning his head to watch Izuku again. He’s still sleeping soundly.

Katsuki leans forward and, without thinking, brushes his hand through Izuku’s hair, pushing back a few stray curls. The moonlight flickering through the blinds illuminates his face, and Katsuki thinks that, somehow, this is the most peaceful he’s seen Izuku in ages.

Katsuki can’t remember the last time Izuku wasn’t at least slightly on edge. He is always looking over his shoulder, as if he’s expecting the enemy to be watching. He spends every minute of his free time training or muttering to himself about battle strategies. The nerd doesn’t even know the meaning of the word “relax.”

Katsuki slides his hand down to cup Izuku’s cheek. His skin is soft and warm, just like last time, and he can’t help but feel an awful sense of dèjá vu. He stays that way for a few moments, just reveling in the fact that Izuku is really here. This isn't a dream, he’s finally here, and Katsuki will never fucking let him go again.

When Katsuki reluctantly moves to pull away, Izuku reaches up to grab his hand, nuzzling into it.

Katsuki is startled, as Izuku is seemingly still asleep. He brushes Izuku’s cheekbone with the backs of his fingers, and swears he sees the ghost of a smile on his lips.

“You’re a dumbass,” Katsuki mumbles, propping his elbow on the bed to rest his head in his free hand.

“I can hear you, Kacchan.”

Katsuki jolts up in surprise to see Izuku staring at him with one eye cracked open and a smirk on his lips.

“Shit, did I wake you?” Katsuki tries again to pull his arm away, but Izuku holds on tight, as if Katsuki is his lifeline and he’s barely hanging on.

“D-don’t go,” Izuku stutters, burying his face in Katsuki’s hand. Katsuki caresses his cheek again and frowns when he finds wetness there.

“Are you crying?” Katsuki asks, though he’s not sure why, because he already knows the answer.

“N-no,” Izuku sniffles. Katsuki rolls his eyes and sighs.

“Hey, look at me,” Katsuki whispers, lifting his free hand to Izuku’s other cheek and turning his head to face him.

Izuku whimpers, holding Katsuki’s arms in a vice grip as he looks up. His eyes are sunken and glassy, overflowing with tears that Katsuki wipes away with his thumbs.

Fuck, he looks like a fucking zombie. His face is paler than usual and littered with scratches, and heavy, dark circles line his eyes. Katsuki suppresses a sudden urge to wrap him in his arms and hold him tight.

“What’s wrong?” Katsuki murmurs, stroking his cheeks in what he hopes is a soothing manner.

Izuku’s face contorts and a new wave of tears begin to fall.

“I-I’m so s-sorry Kacchan,” he snivels.

Katsuki holds his face tighter.

“I told you, we get it. Don’t beat yourself up, you’ve already done plenty of that.”

Izuku chokes a laugh through a broken sob and Katsuki counts it as a small victory.

“I a-am pretty messed up, h-huh?” Izuku hiccups, “but so are you.”

“Tch. I’m fine,” Katsuki lies, feeling a familiar twinge of pain in his side.

“I kn-know you better than that, Kacchan,” Izuku meets Katsuki’s gaze, “d-don’t think I didn’t see you bleeding back there.”

“I was bleeding. I’m not anymore, see?” Katsuki points to his newly applied bandages, “The old lady patched me up.”

Recovery Girl had given Katsuki a thorough scolding for tearing his wounds. Something about being too reckless, to stop throwing himself in front of danger because isn't it hypocritical of you to tell Midoriya to look after himself, but you won't do the same? That had pissed Katsuki off to no end, but he’d accepted her help anyway.

“Y-you could’ve hurt yourself-”

“But I didn’t! Quit worrying about everyone else,” Katsuki looks Izuku dead in the eyes, “think about your goddamn self for once.”

Izuku shakes his head frantically.

“I can’t. I said so many terrible things I- I h-have to apologize-,” Izuku tries to get up, but Katsuki is lightning fast as he moves to sit on the bed in front of him, gripping his shoulders to hold him in place.

“You can do that later. You need to fucking relax. Did you forget you were beaten to a pulp?” Katsuki reminds him.

“Kacchan, I’m f-”

“Don’t fucking say you’re fine! You’re not, and you know it.”

“It doesn’t matter, Kacchan!” Izuku shouts,“I can’t- I can’t just sit here while everyone else is-”

“Everyone is safe,” Katsuki lightly shakes him, “and we’re safer if we're together.”

Izuku presses the heels of his hands to his eyes.

“It doesn’t matter,” Izuku repeats himself. His voice is shaking. “I ne-”

“Shut the fuck up. You matter,” Katsuki says firmly, pulling Izuku’s hands away and holding onto them.

Izuku weakly lifts his head to meet Katsuki’s eyes. He looks taken aback, and even more exhausted than before, but Izuku is just as stubborn as Katsuki is, and Katsuki can tell he still has an argument left in him.

“Izuku,�� Katsuki watches Izuku's eyes widen as he utters his name for a second time. It feels foreign on his tongue, but he knows the weight it carries, and he'll say it over and over if it makes Izuku happy.

Katsuki pushes back the hair that’s fallen in front of Izuku's face and knocks their foreheads together.

“Izuku,” he repeats, “ You fucking matter,” there’s a sharpness to Katsuki’s tone he hadn’t intended, but he can tell Izuku gets the message. He swears he sees the color return to Izuku’s bloodshot eyes before they squeeze shut, overflowing with new tears.

Izuku buries his head in Katsuki’s chest and wails. Katsuki immediately wraps his arms around him and pulls him into a tight embrace, ignoring the aching pain in his injured shoulder and side.

“I-I’m s-so sorry,” Izuku’s entire body shakes as he clings to Katsuki. Katsuki holds him tighter, rubbing gentle circles on his back.

“Shh, it’s okay. Everything’s okay,” Katsuki murmurs, trying his best to soothe him, but Izuku only cries harder. Katsuki’s own eyes begin to burn.

“It’s s’not o-okay, Kac-chan,” Izuku stutters.

“Nobody is mad at you."

“Th-they should b-be,” Izuku insists miserably

“Well they’re not.”

“I think All M-might is.”

“Haah?! The fuck kind of reason does All Might have to be mad at you?” Katsuki is baffled. “I should fucking clock him in the face again.”

“Y-you punched All Might?!” Izuku lifts his chin to stare incredulously at Katsuki.

“Damn right I did. But that’s beside the point. Why the fuck’s he mad?”

Izuku hides his face again, his voice muffled by Katsuki’s now damp shirt and his own sobs, “I w-was so mean t-to him. I told him I d-didn’t need him anymore and r-ran away, I-”

“Breathe, Dek- Izuku,” Katsuki whispers, brushing Izuku’s cheek with his fingers as Izuku begins to hyperventilate. “Breathe. He’s not mad, he’s probably just worried.” He better not be fucking mad.

“I-I have to t-talk to him too,”

“It can wait. Right now you need to fucking rest.”

They stay that way for a while, wrapped in the safety of each other’s arms as Izuku’s cries slowly start to dissipate. At some point, Katsuki isn’t sure when, traitorous tears start to roll down his own face. Izuku notices before he does, feeling the sudden moisture on his shoulder, and he tells him so.

“I’m not fucking crying,” Katsuki grumbles, though his voice is hoarse.

“It’s o-okay Kacchan,”

“Shit,” Now they’re both blubbering idiots.

Izuku squeezes Katsuki tighter as they cry together. Katsuki tries not to wince as he returns the gesture, his shoulder screaming in protest, but Izuku notices. Of course he fucking notices.

“K-Kacchan-,” Izuku’s voice is laced with unnecessary concern as he immediately loosens his grip and starts to pull back.

“Don’t,” Katsuki growls, rubbing his eyes, “Don’t fucking worry about me.”

Izuku sniffles and shakes his head, “I c-can’t help it.”

Katsuki heaves a sigh. “I know.”

Izuku places his shaky, scarred hands on either side of Katsuki’s face in a gentle caress that makes Katsuki’s heart fucking squeeze. When he finally lifts his eyes, he finds Izuku looking at him with a wobbly smile. His cheeks are tear-stained and there's a trace of something haunted behind his eyes, but it's undeniable that a weight has lifted from his shoulders.

Katskui quirks his lips in a half smile. Fuck, he’d missed Izuku.

Izuku yawns and lies back in the bed. “I’m tired again.”

“Well, get some sleep then, nerd,” Katsuki moves to slide back in his chair, but Izuku stops him, grabbing his hand.

“Wait! I- could-” Izuku bites his lip, “could you...stay with me?”

Katsuki squeezes his hand. “I’m not going anywhere, nerd. Someone has to keep your ass in line," he smirks.

Izuku laughs, the first real laugh Katsuki has heard in ages, and Katsuki thinks it might be his favorite sound.

“No, I mean here, next to me,” Izuku scoots over in the bed and pats the space next to him.

“I don’t think-”

“Just until I fall asleep,” Izuku pleads, “...please?”

Katsuki finally relents and slides in next to him. Izuku looks relieved, draping the blanket around them both and curling up to Katsuki’s uninjured side. Katsuki wraps his arm around Izuku’s waist, careful not to dislodge the bandages there. He briefly wonders why this feels so natural.

Izuku’s voice is barely above a whisper when he speaks next. “I- I’m scared, Kacchan.”

“I know. But everything’s gonna be fine."

“I don’t want anyone else to get hurt because of me.”

“No one’s gonna get hurt. We’re gonna figure this out, and we’re gonna figure it out together.”

“I really shouldn’t be here,” Izuku sighs.

“Shut the fuck up. You really wanna be out there? Where people are lookin’ to wring your neck at every turn?”

“Of course not! But that’s exactly why I should be. No one here is safe while I’m around.”

Izuku startles when Katsuki suddenly grabs his chin and lifts it up with his free hand to make Izuku look him in the eyes “Bullshit. I already told you, you can’t win this alone. So stop trying."

Izuku swallows hard, on the verge of tears again. Katsuki tucks Izuku's head under his chin.

"Saving people is how we win, remember? That means you gotta let us save you sometimes, too." Katsuki holds Izuku tight as he cries, gently combing his fingers through thick green curls.

“You should be here," Katsuki continues, "you belong here, Izuku." With me, he adds, but only in his thoughts.

Izuku stills and lifts his head from Katsuki’s chest to stare at him with wide, curious eyes. He's no longer crying. “Kacchan?”

“What?” Katsuki is confused as he watches Izuku’s cheeks flush a deep red.

“I belong with...you?”

Fuck, did he say that out loud?

Katsuki suddenly becomes very aware of their proximity and feels his own face heat.

Their faces are already inches apart, and Izuku is coming closer, cupping Katsuki's cheeks with freezing cold hands. He's close enough that Katsuki can feel Izuku’s heartbeat, his breath on his nose, and fuck, when did their legs tangle together?

Izuku’s thumb lightly strokes his cheekbone and Katsuki finds himself inadvertently leaning into his touch. His breath catches in his throat when he finally meets his gaze. Izuku’s eyes are soft and warm and he’s smiling, a real smile that is secretly Katsuki’s favorite, one that he hasn't seen in far too long. He decides he would sooner die than see it extinguished ever again.

He's embarrassed by his accidental confession, but something about the way Izuku is looking at him, with that soft gaze full of light and wonderment Katsuki knows is reserved only for him, makes the anxiety melt away. The eyes that used to infuriate him now leave him feeling warm and safe, like he has a place in this world, and he realizes there's nowhere he'd rather fucking be than right by Izuku's side.

"Did you mean that?" Izuku whispers, breaking him from his reverie.

“Yeah. Stay with me,” Katsuki grazes his fingers across Izuku's cheek. "...please."

Izuku's smile is breathtaking. It lights a fire in Katsuki's chest.

"I will," Izuku breathes, leaning in to close the distance between them.

Their lips meet halfway in a desperate kiss and a jolt of electricity courses through Katsuki's body. Izuku's hands tangle into Katsuki's hair and Katsuki cradles his face as they explore each other for the first time. It's messy and uncoordinated, but Izuku's lips are soft and inviting and nothing has ever felt so fucking right.

Katsuki's hold on Izuku's waist tightens, pulling him closer, but it's still not close enough. They've been through a decade of miscommunication and separation, unchecked feelings, and the debilitating fear of losing each other. Now that Izuku is here, safe in his arms, Katsuki wants nothing more than to stay in the warmth of this moment forever, to melt into each other and never let go again.

"K-Kacchan," Izuku pants as he slowly pulls away. Oh, right, breathing.

He presses his forehead to Katsuki's as they gasp for air, and they cling to each other as if the other could disappear at any moment.

Katsuki's head is spinning as he looks at Izuku. His cheeks have flushed deeper, lips kissed red and swollen, eyes blown wide as he stares in amazement.

"I missed you," Izuku whispers between heavy breaths.

"Me too,"

Katsuki tucks Izuku's head into the crook of his neck and holds him tight.

“I am….glad to be back,” Izuku murmurs, “it was terrifying out there. I was so exhausted."

No shit, Katsuki thinks.

"Do you want to...talk about it?"

"I-" Izuku pauses, considering. His voice is small when he says, "Maybe later. I don't...I don't want to think about it right now."

Katsuki laces the fingers of one hand with Izuku's and squeezes.

"Okay. But, uh, I'm here if you do. Want to talk or whatever." Katsuki tries his best to sound encouraging. Izuku tilts his head up and nods with a smile.

“Okay.”

There's still so much Katsuki wants to say, but he can't put it into words. He's always been better with actions. He thinks back on all that he said before Izuku passed out in his arms, and wonders if it was enough.

Out of the corner of his eye, Katsuki notices Izuku peering up at him.

“What are you staring at, nerd?” Katsuki smirks as Izuku averts his eyes, color blooming on his face again.

“I- I’m not, I just- thank you, Kacchan.”

"For what?"

“For everything.”

Katsuki shrugs. “I didn’t do shit."

"Yes you did," Izuku brushes a lock of hair behind Katsuki's ear, "you're here right now. You listened, you encouraged me, you made me feel safe enough to come back here. I wouldn’t have had the strength without you.”

Katsuki is at a loss for words.

"Todoroki was right, you know," Izuku says softly, "you're better than you think you are."

Katsuki feels his face flush and looks away. But then it dawns on him.

"You were listening to us?"

"Uh- just a little...only bits and pieces."

"You were awake? Why the hell didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want to interrupt you," Izuku shrugs. "You and Todoroki never talk, it seemed important. Plus, I was so out of it I thought I was dreaming at first."

"So you were just eavesdropping like a creep?" He teases, snickering when Izuku buries his face in embarrassment.

"I'd rather talk to you than that Half and Half bastard, dumbass," Katsuki ruffles Izuku's hair.

"Sorry, Kacchan."

"Quit apologizing."

Normally he probably would be pissed, but there isn’t even a trace of anger in him right now.

"I'm not the only one who's reckless, by the way," Izuku playfully nudges Katsuki.

"I'm not fucking reckless."

Izuku frowns. "Kacchan, you were stabbed. And you tore open your wounds trying to get to me when you should've been taking it easy. You took off into battle without a second thought."

"Sounds familiar," Katsuki glares at him.

"I know. I admit I don't always think things through….and sometimes I think too much. I never put myself first. You made me realize that. I'm...going to try to work on it. But you can't deny that you do it sometimes too."

Katsuki is silent again.

"And when was the last time you ate? Or slept somewhere other than a tiny chair? You tell me I need to take better care of myself, but you don't do the same."

"I'm fine." Katsuki insists, but Izuku knows him better than he knows himself and sees right through the lie.

Katsuki sighs. Deep down, he knows Izuku and the old lady are right. Sometimes... he can be a dumbass and a hypocrite.

"My body…I told you, it moved on it's own. I just saw you in the air and fucking panicked. You were about to die," Katsuki’s voice shakes, “You were about to die, and it was like… like my entire fucking life flashed before my eyes. There was so much I needed to say to you, I couldn't handle the thought of losing you, Izuku. Especially before- before I had the chance to-, " Katsuki squeezes his eyes shut and grunts in an effort to hold back tears that were threatening to fall.

Katsuki feels Izuku's gentle touch on his cheek again and meets his gaze.

"I know. It's okay. Let's just agree that we're both idiots and try to be better, together. If not for ourselves, then for each other. I can't stand the thought of losing you either, Kacchan," Izuku's eyes are impossibly soft

"I really do appreciate everything you said, Kacchan. It means so much to me. I know it's not easy for you to do that."

"I meant every fucking word," Katsuki says firmly.

"I know. And I forgave you a long time ago, Kacchan. Yeah, things were rocky for a while, but I see you. I see how you've changed, and how much effort you've been putting in. I feel safest and strongest when I'm with you. You're the most amazing person I've ever known, and you always will be."

Izuku's eyes well up with tears again as he smiles, and Katsuki feels like his heart could burst out of his chest. He presses a gentle kiss to Izuku's palm and cups his face, tracing his lips with his thumb.

"You make me stronger," Katsuki stares deep into his eyes.

Katsuki feels his brain short circuit as Izuku presses a gentle, sweet kiss to the corner of his mouth. Katsuki holds him there as he pulls away, chasing his lips with his own.

This kiss is softer and less hurried, but just as passionate. They're completely enveloped in each other as they revel in the fact that this is real. There’s nowhere in the world either of them would rather be. Katsuki didn’t realize just how badly he needs Izuku until he was gone, and thinks that, maybe, Izuku feels the same way.

It feels like it’s been an eternity when they slowly break apart, and Katsuki can’t help the smile that spreads across his face.

Izuku lays his head on Katsuki's chest and cuddles up to his side. Katsuki idly strokes his back, just relishing the moment.

Fuck, he’d missed Izuku.

"I don't mind if- uh, if you keep calling me Deku, by the way," Izuku mutters..

"You don't like it when I say your name?"

"No! No, that's not it- I mean it is a little weird, but uh- I like it? Hearing it in your voice, I mean," Izuku rambles on, and Katsuki finds that he's even missed that too.

"I just, um, I mean- Deku is fine too. It has a different meaning for us both now, you know? It stopped being an insult a long time ago. And, uh, it feels, um...special, I guess? I don't know. My point is, either is fine. I don't want you to feel like...like you're disrespecting me, or something," Izuku's face is bright red as he notices Katsuki smirking at him.

"You're such a nerd," Katsuki laughs when Izuku scowls, and presses a kiss to his forehead, “I’ll call you whatever the fuck you want me to call you.”

“Either is good. I promise.”

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see then, huh?”

"Yeah," Izuku smiles, then his brows furrow and he pauses. "Katsuki."

They both frown and Katsuki shakes his head.

"Nope. Too weird. I'd rather be Kacchan forever,” Katsuki grimaces.

“I think so too,” Izuku laughs.

"You should sleep, nerd." Katsuki murmurs.

"Mm, yeah,” Izuku yawns, “You should too, Kacchan."

"Yeah, yeah."

"But you'll still be here when I wake up, right?" Izuku looks up at him with pleading eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere."

Izuku breathes a sigh of relief and snuggles closer.

"Tomorrow...tomorrow is gonna be hard."

"Nah. I'll beat the shit out of anyone who tries anything funny. Like I said, we'll get through this.”

"Together?"

"Together."

-------

bonus:

Sunlight is filtering through the blinds of the room's tiny window when Katsuki awakens. He feels more rested than he has in ages. Izuku is still curled up at his side with his head on his chest, snoring softly, and Katsuki can’t help but smile.

“Nice, bro!” someone whispers from the doorway. Katsuki’s head whips up to see Shitty Hair and Sparky, grinning at him with their thumbs up.

Katsuki is filled with white hot rage as his face flushes. If it wasn't for the fact that Izuku has him pinned, he would beat the shit out of those assholes.

“See ya, loverboy!” Kaminari whistles as they bolt out of the room.

Oh, they are dead meat when Katsuki’s hands are free.

A/N: I wrote this while listening to "I Will Follow You into the Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie and "Make You Mine (acoustic)" by PUBLIC-highly recommend them if you're looking to yearn lmao

The large block of italicized text is meant to be a flashback- I hope that was clear :')

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!! Feedback/reblogs are appreciated as always <3

Also- shout out to @sheiireen for her very helpful advice on this. She's amazingly talented, you should check her out!!

#i even capitalized all of my sentences wow #ahhhh im so nervous to post this hfewufnj #i hope yall liked it!!#anyways bkdk canon lmao #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha fanfic #my fic #birdie writes #bkdk #bakudeku #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #todoroki shouto #kirishima eijirou #iida tenya #reblogs are appreciated 💕

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h4ji · 4 years ago

Text

─雨

summary: iwaizumi reminds you of the rain: a sign of life, but when your relationship changes, so does your view of rain.

warnings: infidelity/cheating, gradual relationship change, fluff to angst, & NOT PROOFREAD

wc: 2.5k

req: no

a/n: yes this is a repost, but here’s a fic inspired by the rain from a couple days ago

rain. you could either hate rain or love it, it could bring bad memories or good ones. you loved the rain because it reminded you of iwaizumi: his fresh scent, kisses in the rain, running in the rain, and the wet hair sticking to your forehead. your dates were often accompanied by rain, because of poor planning, but neither of you minded as you simply enjoy being in each other’s presence. the rain is symbolic, you and hajime saw it as renewal, a new spring, a revival of life. you both never saw it as a bad thing.

rainy days were either spent inside, bundled up and watching godzilla or outside, watching the dark grey sky turn into a blue sunny one from the window of a cafe. his calloused and warm hands holding your smaller ones. “haji, look!! the rain is pouring down!” you smile and hajime can’t help but smile at you. he pinches your cheek, “stop being so cute, y/n” he chuckles as you whine for him to stop. what could be better than this, you think. as the rain clear ups, hajime pulls you up and out of the cafe. the scent of fresh air and wet grass evident in your surroundings. rainy days were your favorites, because they reminded you of him.

it was supposed to rain all week, which delighted you to no extent. but hajime is a busy man, with the olympics so close he couldn’t spend as much time at home. you didn't mind one bit, you supported him every step of the way and as long as he was happy and loved his job, you would be happy for him. “i’m home,” hajime says out loud, his tired frame taking off his shoes as he looks at the floor. and then he hears the pitter patter of your sock covered feet, “welcome home, haji” you smile, hands clasped together in delight before you jump and wrap your arms around him. your giggles fill his ears and he’s never been more delighted to hear it. his toned arms wrap around your frame, “i missed you” he breathes out, and almost instantaneously breaths your scent in. home. this is home. you were his home.

the sound of the rain drumming against the glass of the window, you’re favorite type of day. “haji, look! it’s raining outside” you smile whilst pressing your hand against the cool glass, contemplating whether you’d go outside. but those thoughts died down as soon as hajime declined the offer to go out. and you understood. of course you did! he just came back from a grueling day at work, how could you make him do something like that. this should’ve been the least of your worries

the rain is beautiful. you watch the droplets slide down the window, the sound gradually getting louder. and for some reason, the rain didn’t make you happy anymore. it made you sad.

you tried to be understanding you really did, but hajime’s appearances at the house were practically nonexistent. where is he… you think as your fingers thump against the window sill, desperately looking outside, for a sign, a sign of hajime. you needed him. you didn’t realize but these symptoms: restlessness, trembling, harsh breaths and this constant worry, were of you having a panic attack. your body curls in on itself, an attempt to find solace in the cold room and the rain. but your lover was nowhere to be seen.

these situations started to make you resent the rain. the rain was no longer a symbol of life, renewal or spring. the thing that reminded you of hajime, the rain, you started to resent… what would this mean for you both.

hajime could feel it too. the constant distance, an imaginary wall if you will, between you both. where did it go wrong… he frowns. he remembers rainy days being your favorite, so why was the atmosphere so gloomy and depressed, was he missing something?

his failure to notice your feelings, your complete and utter loneliness, was where he started to go wrong. he failed to notice your constant comparing, he failed to notice your heart slowly breaking, failed to notice the utter loneliness and despair you felt within yourself. he wondered what was wrong, but never voiced his opinions, thinking if they wanted to tell me, they would. this relationship would no longer symbolize the old meaning of rain: fresh and beautiful life, now it symbolized despair, loneliness and tears. you used to wear your heart on your sleeve, it was something he loved about you, but he made you subject to these feelings. not him per say but his lack of… emotion or awareness. did he not notice you suffering? did he not notice you sobbing to yourself? did he care? what happened to you both?

you noticed he had changed. how he no longer mimicked your sadness or no longer pleaded towards it. he seemed much...happier. and your mind wanders, the insecurities biting at your body and mind, telling you that he no longer needed you and that he’d find someone better to appease to him.

he doesn’t come home often, stating that the olympics and his work are of first priority. and you think to yourself… is this why he didn’t notice your depressive state? you were practically screaming in silence, was he that oblivious. the home you lived in together, it no longer felt like home. and that day when hajime came home, he knew, things weren’t how they used to be. the pile of dishes in the sink, the cold dinner on the table, and the loud silence that filled the air. he sees your sleeping frame on the couch, doubled over in despair as the television on with some stereotypical rom com playing. oh how he despised those couples, so cliche and so...unnatural; is that how the two of you used to be?

he walks up to you, his mind internally fighting on whether to wake you up and ask if you were okay, ask if your relationship was okay, or just to let you sleep. he opted for the latter. which was the wrong move on his part.

he came home again the next night, something that was unusual. and this time you were awake, but the mess and emptiness from last night was still present. this befuddled him to no end, what the hell were you doing at home? or were you even at home all day? that day was particularly shitty: it was gloomy, he was tired, stressed, and all of this mess. his loud sighs of annoyance alarm you, the first time you see him in weeks and he’s annoyed with you?

“do you do anything at all?” iwaizumi snarks out. “it can’t be that fucking hard, can it? i go and work for like 12 hours of the day and all you fucking do is sit on your ass and cry.” and it hurts him to say that to the one he loves, but his insecurities and anger got the best of him. were you at home all day today? were you seeing someone else? he was beyond confused with the two of you.

so he walks out that night. he leaves you alone, in the cold dark house to wallow in self pity and hatred. and as he goes to the bar he realizes, you’re no longer his home.

as you wallow in a mountain worth of your own tears, you come to terms with the fact that you hate the rain because it reminded you of iwaizumi hajime.

little do you know on that night he meets a lady. a small, curvy, attention giving and seeking, beautiful lady. her long hair sits perfectly on her shoulders and iwaizumi thinks about how he hasn’t seen you dressed up nicely recently. lost in his thoughts, he doesn’t realize he’s staring at her, but oh she definitely notices. the blush on her cheeks proves just that much, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by him.

when was the last time you reacted to him like this? when did he even see another person that wasn’t you, has it been that long? he internally sighs. but he’s pulled out of his thoughts when he feels a soft and delicate hand on his bicep, “what’s a man like you doin’ here all by yourself” she glistens as she speaks. and iwaizumi swears he hasn’t felt like this in so long. he soaks in all her attention, like a dry sponge soaking all of the water thrown at it. his beautiful smile, the one you adore, shown on full display for the beautiful young lady. That night… he doesn’t think about you, at all.

nothing seems out of the ordinary when you see him again. the same silent house, no smiles are thrown and it’s just an empty void.

he sees her again. hell he makes plans with her, he wouldn’t call it a date, god no he wouldn’t. he has you-

“wait,” he thinks, “are we really still together?” he asks, almost in disbelief. you haven’t said a word to each other since iwaizumi bursted out on you.

he found solace in her: her face, her emotions, her attention, even her body. god, she was everything you weren’t. she was giving him everything you couldn’t emotionally, mentally or physically. he didn’t even realize you working on yourself, all for him. you noticed it too. his persona was back, but who made it come back? certainly not you.

his smile, something he used to be so insecure about, was brighter than ever. but who was he smiling for, you hadn’t spoken in days, no weeks at this point. maybe work was getting better, you tried to convince yourself. “hajime, would never EVER do that to me... would he?” you think as tears well up in your eyes. hajime was your everything, he was your stability in time’s of weakness, he was your other half, but unfortunately for you he’s starting to not think the same.

you see him home for the first time in 3 weeks, he looks happy and you smile at him. he’s surprised to see you greeting him, and he greets you with a hug and kiss to your temple. you’d never even guess that he was seeing someone behind your back. hajime reminded you of the rain, that fact never changed. this new symbol of rain resembles heartbrokenness. the sun in your life is covered by grey disgusting clouds.

for months he continues this affair, the other woman giving him the support and love he no longer comes to you for. he holds her hand as she sleeps, while your hand lays sprawled out against his side of the bed. the rain hits the window, like that fateful day and your eyes well up in realization, “olympics season is over, where is he?”. your palm curls in on itself, the sobs racking up your body and they echo in the room. for the first time in months, the rain brings you comfort as you cry out all the insecurity and self hatred you’ve kept in. this is a ritual that continues for the rest of the week, wearing iwa’s sweater and crying as you long for his comfort or even his presence. his scent starts to fade from the house and rather it smells like the rain, the fresh rain that reminded you of him. that night, you grab your phone and press on iwa’s contact, and you type before your mind could process. “i miss you, can you please come home?” “what the hell did i do?” “please”, and you despised how desperate you sounded, but you needed him. however, your messages fell on deaf ears as he made love to this girl, he was pounding into her with so much love while you cried out for him in despair. he didn’t care about you anymore, he didn’t need you like you needed him. he was no longer your home.

the next night he came home, you noticed the love bites and nail marks, that which were so clearly not yours. he sleeps next to you, for the first time in weeks, but he feels so distant. it doesn’t even feel like he’s there. there’s no love in that bed.

you think you’d be used to it, feeling alone while next to him, but you weren’t. You finally had him to yourself and he didn;t even spare you a glance. you had an idea that he was no longer interested, but you couldn’t fathom this. his phone lights up like crazy, said girl texting him, asking him when he would come back to her, when he would end things with you and saying after that they could finally be together, with no worries or barriers. your hand reaches out for his phone, opening up the password he made sure you knew by heart, which revealed all the messages with her. in these messages he professes his love for her, saying that he wishes they could start a family together and how he could just let go of the burden that he felt from you.

sure he felt bad, you were his first s/o, you’d always have a special place in his heart. but he couldn’t bring himself to care when he felt bound to you, a relationship with no love or affection, no care, nothing at all. if he told himself a couple years ago that this is where you both would be, he wouldn't believe it, at all. you were each other’s first: first kiss, first sexual experience, first significant other, first everything. but the relief he felt when he heard you crying was abnormal, but all he could think of was “i’m free”. he heard your sobs as you looked at all the messages, he felt you shaking beside him. part of him wanted to reach out to you, wanted to console the broken person in front of him, but another part of him said that he was finally free to do as he pleases, he wouldn't be bound by a loveless relationship and he sure as hell wasn’t going to be anymore. like said before, he feels bad, really bad, for lying for cheating, but he felt like he had no other option with you. you always found a way to make him stay and he couldn’t fucking take it anymore. besides, how could he feel bad when the person he loves was hiding in the confinement of his phone and not next to him every night. he couldn’t tell anyone how much he loved this girl because of you, but now he was free, free to do as he pleases.

iwaizumi hajime reminded you of the rain. but rain has different meanings. iwaizumi hajime reminded you of love, happiness and spring. your relationship also reminded you of rain, the gloominess, depression, spiritual death and bad omens. but now the rain reminded you of new life: the new life you’d face without hajime, the rebirth of your soul and heart, the resurrection of happiness in your life, rain isn’t so bad anymore.

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the-duke-of-nuts · 4 years ago

Text

The Battle Over Wine

After 3 months I’ve finally gotten around to finish writing one of the Loceit headcanons/prompts as a oneshot! This is the first fanfic I’ve ever written that’s in actual sentences and not in script form so forgive the MANY grammar mistakes and shitty plot for I am terrible at writing and don’t know how spacing works on Tumblr (*cough* Betas hit me up *cough*) ANYWAYS literally nothing in this makes sense but it’s fanfiction so roll with it. Hope you enjoy I guess!

Prompt/Headcanon by the amazing royalty of Sanders Sides headcanons/prompts @imma-potatoo: Janus and Logan constantly battle over which wine is better (they are both wine moms) Janus says red wine, Logan says white. They can and will get into hour long debates over this

Pairing(s): Loceit, Background Dukexiety

Word Count: 2,400

Warnings: Alcohol, Arguing, Blood mention (Nothing major just comparing the color to wine), Remus being Remus (Let me know if there's anything else)

It was a typical day at the mindscape for the Braincell Gays. They had just finished filming a video with Thomas about helping him with his mental health and his overworking issues. Janus thought both of their inputs and solutions were a success and decided to have some celebratory wine with Logan.

"Today was a success, wouldn't you say darling?" Janus said wrapping his arms around Logan's waist. "I must admit, today was pretty satisfactory, especially since we both helped Thomas with his dilemma and we were both actually listened to for once." Logan replied wrapping his arms around Janus' neck. Janus smiled and pressed a quick soft kiss against Logan's lips to which Logan of course reciprocated. "I say this calls for a celebration." Janus said. "What did you have in mind?" Logan asked, curiously. Janus smirked and summoned two empty wine glasses "I think you know~" "Ah yes, how can I forget your traditional celebratory wine." Logan playfully rolled his eyes.

"Oh you know you love it".

"You're correct about that." Logan chuckled.

Despite both of them having "serious" and "professional" demeanors around the other sides they enjoyed the little moments where they can actually goof off and make each other laugh and smile during their alone time.

"So, what will it be for the menu for today my love? Will it be the best and most savory of flavors of Roscato red wine, or are we feeling a little fancy and want to celebrate with champagne instead?" Janus asked. "Oh, well I was thinking we should have something far much more adequate like white wine."

The sound of glass shattering immediately followed after Logan’s response,

"I beg your pardon?" Janus stared in disbelief trying to process what his lover had just said. Logan, his darling, the light of his life, his beloved, had just disrespectfully claimed that WHITE wine was better than red in his own home! Well, their home and the other sides' home but that's besides the point! This is wine they're talking about here! "Well, I thought I made myself clear but I shall repeat myself, I said that I was thinking we should have something much more adequate than red wine which I suggested white instead."

Janus took a deep breath in trying to keep his composure

"Starling?"

"Yes Janus?"

"You know I love you right?"

"Of course I do, you show and tell me everyday."

"Well you're making it reeeeeal hard for me to want to show and tell you right now."

"Why? Is it because I was simply stating facts that white wine is much more superior than red?" Logan crossed his arms raising an eyebrow. "Those are NOT facts those are lies! Red wine is much more tastier than white wine!" Janus argued. "Yeah, if you have a figurative bitter tooth! Red wine is way too bitter and the sweetness isn't as flavorful as white wine!" Logan argued back.

"Y'know considering the fact that we have to deal with 4 other nincompoops in this damn house you'd be glad that red wine is stronger than white!"

"Janus, just because red wine contains more ABV than white wine doesn't make it the better beverage!"

"Oh says who!?"

"The literal personification of LOGIC and literally anyone who isn't you!"

"Okay you know what? That's it!"

Janus has had enough of the ridiculous bickering and decided to take matters into his own hands by summoning himself, his darling nerd, and all of the other sides back in the same exact courtroom him and Patton were in trying to convince Thomas to go to the wedding or callback.

"We're going to settle this debate once and for all!" Janus dramatically pointed at Logan. "Janus, this is ridiculous! Who exactly are we defending for this to be a courtroom scenario!?" Logan glared at his lover. "Ourselves and the law of wine!" Janus declared. "What the hell does that even mean!?" An annoyed, confused Virgil yelled from the jury box sitting next to Remus and Patton. "Hush Virgil the adults are talking." Janus said not taking his eyes off of Logan.

"We're the same age!"

"ENOUGH chit chat and questions." Janus made Virgil cover his own mouth growing tired of his complaining and faced Roman "Now, your honor would you kindly read off the charges please?" "Oh, we're doing this again, well alright let's see here uh, The state of Logan Sanders yadda yadda yadda, Janus, prosecuting for the state of Logan Sanders, under oath, information makes that Logan Sanders... Count one: Unlawfully and disrespectfully claimed that one alcoholic beverage was better than the other. Count two: Has terrible taste in drinks but better taste in men. Count three: Being too damn attractive for this world. Count four: Making Janus break two perfectly good wine glasses. Count five: Unlawfully not participate in self care by leaving his books all over the floor whenever he falls asleep while doing heavy research when he's supposed to be taking a break causing Janus to place a bunch of bookmarks in said books and put them away for him." Roman read off the charges Janus summoned him.

"And how exactly were those last four charges relevent?" Logan asked. "Because they are and you know it! Your honor, continue." Janus said. "Being so charged, Logan Logic Sanders, how do you plead?" "Not guilty." Logan said deadpan. "Count six for being too confident in that answer." Janus coughed out.

Logan rolled his eyes and shook his head, he didn't know who was more dramatic, Roman or his lovable self care wine loving snake.

"To make this quick and effective we're going to skip the other nonsense and get straight to the point by giving our UNBIASED views to each person and have them decide to see if Logan is truly a horrible wine 'expert'." Janus said as he arrived at the front of the courtroom

"Alright, fair enough. Prosecution, your first witness."

"I would like to call Remus to the stand!"

Remus appeared in the witness stand and immediately stood up and was about to jump over it and run "I can't go back to jail!" "Sit down Remus you're not going to- Wait what do you mean back?" Janus looked at him after doing a double take. "Nothing! So uh what's the question?" Remus immediately sat back down trying to change the subject.

"Alright Remus, red or white wine?"

"That's it?"

"That's it."

"Alright, uhh hmm..."

Remus thought about it thinking of the possible outcomes that could happen if he chose a certain answer. Janus noticed him struggling to make a choice and had an idea and smirked

"You know Remus, if you're having a hard time deciding, just putting this out there, red wine looks like you're drinking blood and I think you enjoy that thought VERY much~" Remus gasped and instantly became excited by the thought "OOH! You're right! I could even add bone shaped ice to give it that realistic crunching sound!" "Objection persuading the witness with a biased opinion." Logan said. "Overruled. It's not really persuading since we ALL know my brother actually enjoys anything gruesome like that regardless." "I sure do!" Remus cackled at Roman's statement.

Logan sighed a little frustrated, this was going to be harder than he thought.

"I think I rest my case your honor." Janus smirked and blew Logan a kiss as he walked back to his table to sit down. Logan blushed and shook his head to quickly snap out of it and walked to the front and cleared his throat as he adjusted his glasses and tie

“Remus."

"Nerd."

"You enjoy pranking and getting on Janus' nerves is that correct?"

"Yes that is VERY correct." Remus snickered.

"And you despise when he forces you to partake in proper hygene as well as making you eat actual ingestible foods unlike deodorant and other non edible items?”

"Yeah."

Remus crossed his arms hating remembering the times Janus would force him to take a bath and purposely safety locking the cleaning supplies cabinets just so he had no other choice BUT to eat regular food.

"You also are not how they call a 'lightweight'?"

"Nope!"

That was a lie. Remus could drink three cups and he'd already become a drunk chaotic mess.

"Okay, so hear me out here." Logan started and Remus leaned forward becoming interested in what he was about to say. "Remus, white wine is clear therefore you can always "pretend" that you're drinking water so Janus doesn't question it for self care reasons nor harass you about it."

Remus went wide eyed at the realization and wagged his finger at Logan. "You... I like you... Keep talking."

Logan smirked, he got Remus right where he wanted him and continued.

"Also if you were to spill it there would be no noticeable stain therefore making it impossible for Janus to become upset."

"Wow, you make some VERY compelling points Four Eyes."

"Objection! I don't appreciate you persuading my son with your biased statements by using me as examples." Janus interjected.

"Janus, Remus is not your son!"

"You're right, my apologies. I don't appreciate you persuading OUR son with your biased statements by using me as examples."

Logan rolled his eyes and shook his head not wanting to bother arguing with Janus about his logic.

"I believe I've made my points your honor." Logan walked back to his table. "Alright, can I go now?" Remus asked. "Almost Remus. We just need to know your final answer, then you may leave and sit back down with the other two." Janus answered. "Okay umm on one hand I very much LOVED Jan's point about how red wine looks like you're drinking blood buuuut I would have to go with Nerdy Wolverine on this one and choose white wine because I enjoy pissing Janus off."

"Yes!" Logan whispered victoriously to himself.

"Oh you rat son of a bitch of course you would-"

"Language!" Patton interrupted.

"English."

"Spanish! Now you!"

"German. No! We're not doing a word association game!" Janus yelled frustrated. "Aw, what's the matter my charming smooth scaled serpent? Realizing you're losing against Logic?" Logan smirked. "NO and don't you dare flatter me using snake related petnames when you're looking like that in a suit!"

Logan smirked at Janus' flustered expression, "Alright, then bring out your next witness then." "I will! Remus, you can leave now." Finally!" A relieved Remus announced as he summoned himself back at the jury box. Janus summoned Roman to the witness stand wanting to get straight to the point.

"Roman?"

"Yes Janaconda?"

"You're the romantic one out of all of us correct?"

"Oh my god you already know he is just get to the point!" Virgil yelled from the jury box slowly losing his patience even more. "Since you are an expert on the matter, would you mind sharing with the court which wine do you think is more romantic on a date?" "Oh that's easy, obviously red wine." "Interesting, care to elaborate?" Janus smirked and glanced at Logan. "Of course! Imagine having a romantic candle lit dinner under the stars or a picnic date watching the sunset, red wine gives those beautiful moments of being with your beloved partner a general relaxing and romantic atmosphere and it also tastes marvelous with various different foods. I'm actually quite surprised Specs didn't side with red wine considering it's good for digestion." Roman stated. "Wow, you really ARE a romantic expert! I don't think I have any further questions." Janus smirked and walked back to his table.

Logan went wide eyed there's no way he can convince Roman, his answer was obviously clear but it's worth a shot.

"Roman, have you ever considered white wine being just as “romantic” as red?"

"Not really no."

"Okay, well uh it can because-"

"Logan, I know you're trying here but trust me I know what I'm talking about. Don't get me wrong, white wine is just as delectable as red but I'm gonna have to side with Janus on this one." Roman interrupted and summoned himself back on the judge chair. Logan sighed and walked back to his table, he knew by the amount of confidence in Roman's answer there was no convincing him. "Fair enough..."

"Alright, Prosecution next witness?" Janus decided to summon Patton in the witness stand next and smiled innocently clasping his own hands together "Patton~" "Uh I know this is probably a really bad time to bring this up now but um I don't really drink wine so I don't really have an opinion..." Patton blushed a little embarrassed. Janus sighed frustrated and put his head down on the podium and summoned Patton back in the jury box "Of course you don't."

There was only one person left and that person was Virgil, it was 2 out of 2 and his choice would be the one to officially break the tie and put an end to this illogical ridiculous debate trial.

Janus summoned Virgil in the witness stand " Alright Virgil, what do you think cause I'm sure we all know you don't have an important input."

"You wanna know what I think!?"

Virgil was fed up and snapped his fingers causing him and the other sides to appear back at the house and summoned two glasses of wine, one red and the other white. He shoved the glass of red wine in Janus' hand and the white wine in Logan's

"I think the two of you dorks-"

"Dorks. Whale penises am I right guys?" Remus interupted snorting.

"-Should actually ACT like you both have a braincell and never debate about something as stupid as this ever again!" Virgil continued angrily. "Maybe the reason why they both don't have a braincell anymore is because they both fu-" Virgil interrupted his boyfriend from finishing his inappropriate sentence by covering his mouth and dragged him out of the room. Roman and Patton followed them not knowing what else to do.

The Braincell Gays stood in awkward silence holding their wine glasses realizing their silly little arguement was stupid after all.

"Truce?" Janus asked raising his wine glass.

"Truce." Logan smiled and raised his glass as well.

They both clinked their wine glasses together and drank their wine happily enjoying each other's company and soon made it up to each other by agreeing to have a self care day together the next day.

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hatsukeii · 5 years ago

Text

I have another songfic idea and despite the requests in my box I will do this first lmao if I don’t Imma forget tomorrow-

This blog is bnha starved, so let’s go with that:3

Idfc//Soulmate AU! Bakugou x Reader

Word count: 2700+

Warnings: Swearing

Summary: In a world where the name of your soulmate’s quirk is tattooed on your arm when you turn 17, Bakugou got unlucky in the soulmate department.

Despite all his prayers and wishes for the words “Game Over” to appear on his arm, life just didn’t want to go his way.

What’s even worse, is those words ended up on shitty half n’ half’s arm.

What a way to screw with Bakugou.

He watches as you step out of the school gates, Todoroki’s arm wrapped around your waist. Giving you a tiny wave, he rocks forward and backward, hoping for you to notice him. You glance towards his direction, pursing your lips, before ignoring him and making your way home with your boyfriend. The ash blond’s fake grin falters, shoving his hands down his pockets, head hanging low as he turns around and goes his own way.

He still remembers the moment he realised you weren’t his soulmate. The way his heart dropped when the words on his arm said “Zero Gravity”. His parents were ecstatic, cheering as they celebrated over how their baby boy was growing up, and how he would soon meet the love of his life. What they didn’t know, was that he had already found the one he loved, and it sure as hell wasn’t Uraraka, whose quirk was on his arm. Just that one revelation was enough to make his entire weekend shitty. He definitely did NOT want to be with Uraraka. She was way too bubbly and annoying. Plus, her quirk had a lame name. And she’s way too clingy for his liking. He tried his best to stay optimistic about the situation. Maybe he’ll eventually be able to change his fate if he defied it. Maybe if he was able to make you love him back, the names would change. He racked his brains, searched for answers on every website he could think of, asked on every forum he could find, but still, nothing. He was stuck with Uraraka, and there was nothing he could do but sulk and accept it. That night, he cried himself to sleep, knowing he was never going to get a chance with you. The only person he wanted was snatched away from him and just the thought of being able to win her over was ripped to shreds.

The following Monday back to school was no better. In fact, it was worse. He watched as you excitedly told him about your soulmate, the words “Half Hot Half Cold” imprinted on your skin as you explained how you got it the day before. You were beyond excited, knowing fully well who your soulmate was. The pretty boy of 1-A that all the girls were head over heels for. Thank god you couldn’t tell that the tiny grin plastered on his face and the playful cheering was fake. Those were all just poor attempts to mask all the despair and heartbreak he stored up in his chest. All Bakugou could possibly do was be happy for you. That’s what he should’ve done. However, no matter how hard he tried, it just never worked out. You were always there in the back of his head, lingering around in his mind like an annoying pest that he couldn’t get rid of. Thinking of you became a daily routine. He would stare at you longingly in class, text you every day after school, cry about you every night, and wake up puffy eyed. Waves of depression hit him every single time the sight of you having fun with Todoroki appeared in front of his eyes. He swore that if he heard another person talk about how cute you and Todoroki were together he would punch their face in. People backed away from him whenever he was close to the dual haired boy, not wanting to get on his nerves.

In class, Aizawa started noticing his lack of focus in class. For months, Bakugou had been in a constant state of daydream, staring at you in class as he thought of all the things you two could do if only you were his soulmate. He would spoil you so badly. Take you out on as many dates as he possibly could. Kiss your tears away when you were crying. Pillow fights every weekend. Cuddle you while the two of you watched movies on your bed. Eventually present you with a diamond ring in a tiny velvet box. All those possibilities, flushed right down the drain as he was constantly snapped back to reality by his homeroom teacher every single time, remembering that he was only a best friend to you, nothing more. He wasn’t doing as well in class, and his parents were worried. Since when did their straight A son start flunking English? Mitsuki was anxiety ridden, fearing for her son’s mental state, as she should. Bakugou would rather die than admit he was weak, but at times like these, a motherly hug would be nice. Mitsuki would let her son cry on her lap, instead of sulk on his bed all alone. He may not have told her anything about what was making him seemingly depressed, but all he wanted was some form of emotional support, even if it was from his old hag. Masaru would join in sometimes, giving Bakugou a few pats on the head or ruffling his hair. They didn’t know what had changed his son so drastically, however despite their worries for his academics, they knew that he was not okay, and that it was their job to help him, even if they were in the dark about the situation.

“Bakugou, you’re going home alone again? I thought Kirishima was gonna walk you back!” Mina jogs towards Bakugou, placing and hand on his shoulder and launching herself into the air with a jump. Usually, Bakugou would flick her hand off at the last moment, but instead of doing that, he remains stoic, completely ignoring everything around him. “Haaaah? Hello? Earth to Bakugou?” He rolls his eyes, trying not to blast the pinkette’s fingers off as she pokes his cheek, trying to get a reaction out of him as Kaminari and Sero approached the two.

The Bakusquad were quick to catch up on his issue. Kirishima was the first to point out the difference in his now quiet, negative attitude compared to his usually boisterous and aggressive personality. Being the top tier best friend he was, he tried his hardest to get something out of Bakugou. Anything. He soon informed the rest of the gang about it, much to the blond’s annoyance. Since then, they’ve been trying to get Bakugou out of his heartbroken state and back into the rat he usually is. Everyone was worried for him, fearing that this would affect his mental health. They were there for Bakugou since day one, hyping him up whenever he was about to make a move. Cheering him on when he finally asked you out. Encouraging him to continue fighting for you when he was feeling down. They always thought the two of you were meant to be, but they were mistaken, because obviously fate has a cruel way of messing with people. Out of everyone, Kirishima was the most concerned. He had watched his best friend put himself down time and time again, all because of you. He was always there to give him a punch to the back, reminding him that he still had a chance. He was there to listen when Bakugou wanted to vent his issues out. He was his number one wingman, setting the two of you up in secret as an attempt to help Bakugou get with you. When he eventually found out his soulmate was Uraraka, and that yours was Todoroki, he was shocked, to say the least. However he was also frightened. Scared. He was scared that Bakugou would go back to his cold self. He was scared that the friendship he had bonded with you would break. He was scared his best bro’s heart would be shattered. Despite his efforts to cheer him up, the blond was not improving. The fiery, determined flares in his crimson irises were gone, replaced by a dull, hopeless maroon.

“Don’t be so down in the dumps about the whole soulmate thing Bakubro! Maybe you’ll eventually move on!” Oh, what a big mistake Kaminari just made. The icy glare sent his way is scary enough to kill, piercing through his skull and shaking every single nerve in his body up. “I don’t fucking care at all. Leave me the fuck alone.” This isn’t his usually grumpy attitude, where he’s just irritated. He’s being dead serious, his tone hinting that if they didn’t get away from him right this instant, they were going to get their asses kicked badly. “Guys, maybe we should just leave him alone for now.” The three teens backed away from their moody friend, waving him off before going their separate ways.

Whenever anyone tried to make an effort to understand his frustration, the only answer they would receive was a forced out “I don’t fucking care.” That was the only thing Bakugou would tell people, including you. Oh how oblivious he was, thinking no one saw through the facade he was putting up. If he had to admit he was a weak bitch that cried over some stupid crush, he would kill everyone in the room and then himself if that’s the last thing he does. No way in hell is he letting his strong, tough, intimidating image down. Time after time, he would tell people he didn’t give a fuck about you. That you were just another extra in his life. Just another stepping stone to his inevitable victory. The time you overheard him telling Kirishima you were just another obstacle in the way of his success made your heart shatter into a million pieces. You slowly started to let him go, not wanting to let yourself get hurt anymore by his words. Everyone acted like they fell for his white lies, as if they were dumb enough to not hear the audible hint of pain in his usually shameless voice. He really did all this, just to convince himself to move on from these useless feelings that ate him up from the inside. His usually unfriendly self became extra hostile, shutting out everyone that tried to help him. He was increasingly aggressive with each passing day, letting out all the pent up anger and bitterness onto his classmates. At that point, Midoriya was so scared that he requested for a seat change from Aizawa. Almost nobody dared approach him. Some even begged for him to be excluded from sparring and training, although it was unsuccessful. It was guaranteed, without question, that whoever was going against him was going to be beaten to a pulp, bloodied and battered, burn marks everywhere on their bodies. In some instances, All Might had to step in, and even he suffered a few nasty blasts from the ash blond. Even you were getting irritated by his irrational actions, occasionally calling him out for it, much to his dismay. This was the last thing he wanted. For you to slowly break away all the bonds you two made. For you to take another person’s side, without even thinking about how he felt.

Walking out from his quick shower, he sat on his bed, grabbing his phone and going through your chat again, as if the ‘seen’ at the bottom of the wall of good morning and goodnight texts will magically disappear and replace itself with your replies. Groaning, he throws his phone onto the wall, letting it fall back onto his mattress as he shoves his face into his hands.

Since the time you heard him call you an obstacle, you started to let go of the friendship you had made with the fiery teen. He held a special place in your heart. He was your first, and best friend. You two shared everything during those late night talks you had through FaceTime. If you had to choose between Todoroki or Bakugou, you would save the latter first. The moment you realised Todoroki was your soulmate, you were ecstatic. Your fat crush on the aloof boy was a known thing around 1-A, and the fact that you were lucky enough to get him as your soulmate made all the girls jealous. However, things took a turn when Bakugou started to go back to his cold self. He stopped calling you after school. He stopped walking you home. He stopped trying to keep a conversation with you, only replying with the driest responses he could muster up. You didn’t know what was up with him, but it was annoying you. The one time you were looking to confront him, you overheard his conversation with Kirishima. “She’s just an obstacle.” “A stepping stone to my victory.” “I don’t fucking care about her.” It was as if everything you have done to befriend him was for nothing. He only thought of you as some extra. Nothing more. You were pissed, definitely. He was acting cold, ignoring you, all because he never cared. You made up your mind, and sent him one last text.

“If you didn’t care about me then we should’ve never became friends.”

And with that, the friendship that you two put so close to heart was erased from your life, never to be seen again as you left his side and joined with Todoroki.

This is the last straw for Bakugou. He yells into his hands. Nobody’s home, and even if somebody were in the house, he doesn’t care. He screams until his lungs give out, his voice reducing to a raspy groan after ten whole minutes of screaming. He was mad at himself. He was mad at his fate. Why did it have to take away the best thing that happened to him? Why did you have to land in the hands of Todoroki? Just the thought of it fills him with anger, sparks emitting from his palms as his sight is clouded by red. Scrambling onto his bed, he sends punch after punch towards his pillow, activating his quirk and letting the fabric burn as he continues the assault on the pillow, feathers now flying all around him as he screams, tasting his own tears. He doesn’t care about his pillow being completely demolished. He has extras at home anyways. Throwing the now tattered pillow onto the floor, he grabs a new one and shoves his head into it, sniffling into the cool material. “Why do I feel like this? How can one person ruin everything for me? Why is this happening? What kind of God does this to people? Why do I care anyways?” His eyes widen as he realises what he just confessed to himself. “No. I don’t care. I don’t fucking care at all. I don’t care. Not a shitty single fucking bit.” His heart aches when he says that, as if it’s mocking him for trying too hard to convince himself to believe something that was completely untrue. The ash blond thrashes wildly on his bed out of frustration, kicking his sheets away and muffling his strained screams into the clean pillow. “Stop, stop, stop, stop, STOP! WHY? CAN’T YOU JUST GET OUT OF MY HEAD FOR A FUCKING DAY? JUST A FUCKING SECOND? PLEASE?” Pulling his sleeve up, he stares at the words “Zero Gravity” in disgust. Bringing his free hand up, he activates his quirk, sending a scorching burn to the words as he hisses in pain, flinching a little bit. The soul mark is now a shade of pink, but the words are still clear as day. He knows he screwed up bad with you, but what could he do about it? You’re happily dating your soulmate, and all ties between you two have been cut off. All his texts have been left on seen. You have stopped talking to him. With that, Bakugou knew what he had to eventually come to terms to.

He cares. He cares too much.

All the times he’s said “I don’t fucking care” were just pathetic attempts to forget about the cruel truth, even just for a moment.

You’re never going to go back to him.

Todoroki is your boyfriend.

And he was just another classmate to you.

References:

Idfc- Blackbear

Lyrics to said song

A whole lotta brainstorming because oh my god my angsts are becoming more and more predictable and repetitive and I hate it ahahhaha

Tags:

@ewfilthymundane @izzyphantomgamer @artsamber @sunshines-and-tatertots @tiger1719 @inlwlevi @burnt-tomato @just-another-bored-writer @macaronnv @random-fandomlover @kaylacinderella @justachillgirl @for-ests @bokutokoutarou @trashcanweeb @itmekisuu @poppirocks @xonfusedsoul @shoutsukii @estherwritess @talks-a-lot-of-stuff @fullmetalfangirl21 @mariechan123 @agentvicinity @sakusasgarbage @tiredgr3mlin @letshaikyuu @emsvegetables

Have fun reading this love ya sorry for not writing anything in days and uh I’m gonna go to sleep now because I have school and I need at least 5 hours:D

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curiosityjams · 4 years ago

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re: iz*one

first of all, i wanted to say i didn’t plan on writing something about the disbandment. the past few months have been incredibly rough on my mental state to the point where i feel as if i’ve lost all sense of self. shit has been so rough for me, their disbandment being confirmed made that even worse for me. however, i realized i need to learn how to be okay with like...being open about my own emotions in a time of uncertainty and writing them out helps me in a way even if a lot of those emotions i’d rather keep private. i’ve also been going thru a time where i’m currently reevaluating this past year and everything i’ve done/felt in the past few yrs (2.5 of those years being izone’s run), so i thought i’d write something about the disbandment and what iz*one means to me, esp during this point in my life. i’d write more about what led me to this point, but if i did, i’d end up writing a whole novel, so i’m just going to keep this as short as possible.

also if this is a jumbled mess, i’m sorry!!!!

since we’re here to talk about the inevitable, i just wanted to say that i’ve probably had a harder time accepting them being gone than i thought. i knew they were gonna disband eventually bc lol produce group, but also, knowing what happened with the voting scandal and the panasonic, it makes it even worse for me. i hate that they didn’t even bother to handle their disbandment in a way that wasn’t complete horseshit. i hate how the pandora screwed everything up. i hate how we didn’t even get a proper goodbye from the girls. i knew that this was going to happen, but i fucking hate how it all turned out. i can’t say i’m 100% happy with the ending and honestly, don’t think i’ll ever be able to fully accept that they’re no longer a group.

that said, i’m not here to vent.

while i’m obviously upset that they’re gone, the fact that they were ever a group to begin with--i’ll forever be grateful. i avoided getting into them for the longest time because of my own trauma from being involved in the 48 fandom (smth i’ll talk about at a later time bc it’s a lot), but the moment i decided to watch their “up” performance and actually give them a chance beyond looping la vie en rose, that’s when i fell in love. i fell in love with the music. i fell in love with the visuals. i fell in love with the bond between the girls. most of all, i fell in love with the fact that during a weird transitional period in my 20s, i found a group that gave me the closure i needed in a time where it felt like the world was against me while also giving me the strength i need to move on.

while we’re on that topic, let’s talk about kwon eunbi.

as you already know from my url, eunbi is obviously my bias. she’s the leader of the group, under the company my ult group, lovelyz, is also in, and THE absolute all-rounder. she’s extremely talented, super fucking funny, a babe of THE highest order, and the best single mom you could ever ask for. every time i watch a video of iz*one’s or look at any of their pics, i’m always in absolute awe of her. while i love all of the girls (j-line has a very special place in my heart bc of my time in 48 fandom) and do consider the entire group to be one full of bias wreckers, it’s eunbi that instantly caught my eye and the one i’m incredibly proud to call my ult.

“now, drea, why is it that you’re taking so much time with talking about how special this group and that girl are to you?” well, it’s mainly because that eunbi and i are the same age (both 95-liners, but i’m older by 2 months) that i’m so drawn to not only her, but the group as well. yeah, it’s normal to be drawn to members born in your birth year, but for me and esp in this case, it’s far more complex than it seems.

around the time i got into the group, i was (still am) going thru a quarter life crisis. i had just finished my a.a., was a few months away from turning 24, and had pretty much decided i was going to take an indefinite hiatus from twitter due to the amount of harm its done to my mental health over 10 years. i felt like shit knowing that so many people my age were living their lives, getting married, having kids, etc all that shit while i felt as if i was frozen in time and like i could never accomplish any of those things because according to society, my time was up. as a woman on the autism spectrum, i never felt like anything i did was enough and knowing that even after years of trauma, the feeling that if i don’t have my entire life sorted out by 24/25 scared the living shit out of me. knowing that a panini happened made those feelings even worse.

i know it’s weird to like...feel so many emotions over this esp since 23-25 is young and starting your career out at that age is normal. that said, knowing how eunbi was already in a group prior to joining iz*one that ended up disbanding months after they debuted, the road she took to get to where she is now, and the fact that she’s 25/26 and will get so many chances to start over is what gives me hope after such a shit year. i can finally get to where i want to be, i’ll graduate from university, i’ll hopefully get a job that will earn me enough money to move out of my mom’s house, i’ll find love, etc who the fuck knows what’s going to happen? i hate that after years of hating myself and being afraid of getting older because people often have this mentality that you should abandon all sense of yourself once you hit your mid 20s, it’s taken me THIS long to actually start accepting myself for who i am and living my life for myself, but i’m excited to see where the fuck life takes me after years of self-hatred, trauma, and trying too hard to please ppl that don’t give a shit. seeing eunbi just have a fucking blast on stage, take care of her members, and overall be the amazing person she is gave me the strength i desperately needed to actually get to the path i want to be on as someone that’s a few years away from turning 30.

as i said earlier, i’m not ready to just outright accept iz*one being gone. i’ll probably spend the entire month of may just watching their content since there’s still a shitton of stuff i have yet to watch and i’m lowkey embarrassed that as a fan, i’m admitting this, but also: there’s no time limit. i can always watch that video at another time, i’ll like that pic later, etc. i wish iz*one was one of those things that had no time limit because i’ll always cherish them, but in the 2.5 years of their existance, i achieved some big things and survived a pandemic. i left twitter, got closure in chapters i needed closure in, finished my a.a., etc among many other things during that time and it’s partly because of iz*one that i’ve pushed myself to do all of those things. it’s hard esp since it’s easier to just write smth like this on tumblr than actually do it, but the girls and their music were part of the reason why 2020 wasn’t a complete dumpster fire for me.

most of all, i wanted to write this because i wanted to shout-out the amazing folks at @izonetwork. i joined super late in the game, but the convos i’ve had, the laughs we’ve had on discord/among us, etc i’ll never forget it. meeting all of you was one of THE highlights of an otherwise shitty year and i’ll always credit you as one of the reasons why i wasn’t completely emotionally distant during such a dark time. all of you keep me grounded and i’m forever grateful. super honored to call you guys my friends. <3

so yeah, thank you iz*one. thank you, eunbi, sakura, hyewon, yena, chaeyeon, chaewon, minju, nako, hitomi, yuri, yujin, and wonyoung. i don’t speak korean or japanese, but know i’m eternally grateful for all the joy, strength and bops you gave me in the past 2.5 years. i’m even more grateful for the friends i’ve met thru my own fandom of the group. i’m excited to see what every single one of you does next regardless of what it may be.

now if you’ll excuse me, i have to go catch up on all the enozis i’ve missed.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

#izone #kpop #be quiet drea

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mywrittingwonderland · 4 years ago

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She Comes First P.3 (Sophia x Shawn)

Part 1 Part 2 Masterlist Hello pretty people, I AM BACK! I can't believe I am finishing this! It has been a while, but hope you like it :) PS. Sorry for the mistakes, is 3am (I clearly can't write during the day as you may have already noticed...) Word count: 3,026 Warnings: Mentions of PR and anxiety.

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“Yeah, I know. Come here,” He said, referring to how bad her anxiety was at that moment, and how she was trying her best to not lose control completely. “I got you, It will be okay.” He hugged her tight one more time and made sure to keep his breathing steady.

“What-what if it doesn’t?” She stammered, trying to not start crying again.

“Well, then we figure out a plan B, together,” Shawn reassured her, knowing that she needed it.

“Okay.” She agreed and took some deep breaths with his help.

“What do you need now?” He asked after a while of breathing, and after he could no longer feel her heart racing against him.

“Can you just hold me a little bit more.” She asked, and he sited down on the floor, putting her on his lap.

“Of course.” He said, giving her a kiss on the cheek and taking a deep breath. They stayed in silence for some minutes, taking in the presence of one another.

“I am sorry.” She said after a while.

“Well, don’t be. You did nothing wrong”. He said, sincerely, she had a habit of over apologising after she had a mental breakdown, even though he didn’t mind taking care of her at all.

“I didn’t tell you the truth”. She said, looking down and playing with his fingers.

“Yeah, I am not very happy about that, but I get it”.

“You do?” She scrunched her face, and he nodded.

“Mhm, I do. But I want you to know that you can tell me anything.” He said, and she looked down. “Look at me, Boo. You know that, right?” He asked one more time. “Even if I have a lot going on, you are as much important as I am.” She nodded and let a tear go down her face, one that he quickly caught.

“I am so sorry,” She said, again taking a deep breath.

“It’s okay Love, do you want to get out of here and go back to the house?” He proposed, feeling the chilly wind coming from the outside.

“Let me just lock her up,” She said, getting up and going to lock Pinky back, she then turned to him and smiled, making him smile back instantly. He really missed her, especially when she was smiling.

“I can’t believe you are actually here.” She stated, and he giggled, grabbing her hand, pulling her closer. He caressed her face for a bit, taking in all the little details he loved, in her mouth, nose, cheeks, all his favourite parts.

“I thought you’re going to be very mad at me for being here, I was freaking out the entire way.” He said, stopping to touch her and letting her open her eyes again.

“I asked to be alone, but I don’t really want to be, I just didn’t want to bother you. And I wasn’t planning on breaking apart on a phone call, I was just going to call you in the morning and tell you that I missed my Grandma and I was staying here for a week.” She said, sincerely

“You, Miss Rose, do never bother me, never ever.” He said, middle naming her. “And I would never just let you alone after you asked to be alone crying because I know you.” He said, making her smile again.

“Thank you.”

“Always, Baby.”

They walked back to the house in silence but glued to each other. They did that a lot actually, not taking for a while, and letting their senses take over. Some days it was enough to simply feel each other’s presence.

“Oh, you are back, Shawn you should eat something.” Sophia’s Grandma said as soon as they entered the door.

“I…” He looked at Sophia as if asking if she was okay enough for him to go.

“It’s okay, Grandma is right. I will take a shower, go eat.”

“Are you sure?” He asked, turning to grab her hand and turning her to look at him, she nodded and gave him a peck on the lips. “Okay, I will be up in a bit,” He said, kissing her a little bit longer this time. “I love you.”

“I love you.” She said backwards and went up the stairs. She probably stayed in the shower longer than she should have, because when she came out Shawn was already there, in comfy clothes, and with her favourite snack waiting.

“Hi.” He smiled as soon as he saw her.

“Hi.”

“Brought you cookies and tea.” He stated happily. “Strawberry with vanilla seeds.”

“Thank you.” She said sincerely. Remembering something her mother told her once about the fact that you should marry someone that remembers your favourite tea flavour.

“Can I brush your hair?” She nodded and handled him her brush. His hands were soft while brushing her hair, way more delicate than he would play the guitar with, and it made her relax and close her eyes feeling loved. “So, I asked Andrew to finish up the PR.” He blurted after a while.

“What?” She opened her eyes and looked back at him, making him stop brushing her hair.

“Yeah, it is not really settled yet and probably I will still need to have some meetings about some stuff, but no more weird videos that I can promise.”

“Shawn, I am sorry,” She said, looking down.

“About what exactly?” He asked, gently pushing her chin up so she would look at him again.

“I didn’t want to cause…” He put his finger in her mouth, stopping her.

“You didn’t do anything, so don’t be sorry,” He said and give her a quick kiss on the lips. “I love you, so, so, so much,” He said before properly kissing her.

“I love you too.”

“I am so sorry I made you feel like you were alone in all this.” He said, brushing his nose in hers.

“It’s okay. You had a lot going on I didn’t want to just add more to that, and be the annoying girlfriend.” Sophia said, closing her eyes, something she did when she was saying something that she didn’t want to get too real.

“Stop, no. Look at me.” He asked and waited until she was looking inside his eyes before he continued. “It’s not okay, this is a 2-person relationship. And your life was going crazy, and you didn’t tell me anything.” He said gently, he was not mad at her, but he wishes she would have told him sooner what was going on.

“I am sorry.”

“I am not mad at you, I am mad at myself. Because something inside me was screaming that you were not okay, but then every time we talked, you had that beautiful smile on your face and something fun about your week to tell me. So I just thought I was going crazy because I was missing you too much.” He said sighting in the end.

“I know I should have said something, but I didn’t want to make things more complicated than they already were.” She said, trying to explain. He loved her for putting him first always, but he really needed her to understand that she also comes first to him.

“Soph… You come first, always. I know I have been doing a pretty shitty job on showing that lately, and I am sorry. But you will always come first. I love you so much, so much. And I don’t want you to be alone while your entire world is crumbling down at once.” He said brushing away a tear that fell down her face.

“And I love you back, but I also know that you are facing a lot already.” She said one more time, making him smile at her kindness, he was sure it was impossible to find a bigger heart than hers on this universe.

“Yeah, I am. And you are facing the exact same lot with me because I pulled you into my mess. But then you also have more than that lot. And you were doing it all by yourself.” He said, caressing her face and making her close her eyes again, to feel his touch better. “I don’t want you to feel alone, I need you to tell me things. The bad stuff too, don’t try to protect me from your problems, especially when they are so much bigger than a PR playing or being alone from my family on tour. It’s not like you are hiding a cold Baby girl.” He said, leaving in and kissing her temple.

“I am sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“It’s okay, I am here now. And we are getting you better. But please promise you will tell me even the smallest shitty thing in your day from now on like I broke my favourite pen or something.” He said, making her smile.

“I broke my favourite pen?”

“Yeah, I want to know that.” He said, making her giggle a bit, and he smiled as an automatic response. “Seriously Baby,” He said, still smiling.

“I promise.”

“Pinky promise?” He asked, showing her his pinky and waiting for her to intertwine hers in his.

“Pinky promise.”

“Now, do you want to talk about it? My sister told me the headlines, but I want you to tell me. If you feel like doing it now. If not that’s okay too, we could go downstairs and get some of your Grandma’s hot chocolate and more cookies.” He proposed.

“We can talk about it,” She said. She got the brush from his hand and put it on her nightstand before she sits in front of him with her legs crossed.

“Okay, first let me say... you declining universities broke my heart. And honestly, I am feeling very guilty about this one.” He started grabbing her hands and intertwining with his just to keep them closer.

“Don’t. I declined all the Toronto ones because I wouldn’t be there for the starting of it, but also because I applied to one in London and I got in, and I have been thinking about going there since I am a child, so I thought it would be good. How do you feel about living in London for 4 years?” She asked, biting her lips nervously, they had talked before, and he told her to choose, so of course he was not mad at her.

“I have always wanted to live in England to know more about your world, so let’s do this.” He said, smiling truthfully at her. “And congratulations, I am so proud of you! And I am so happy you did apply somewhere else too. And please never do that again, because I would have ended that PR ages ago if you had told me.” Shawn said, embracing Sophia on a tight hug and making them both fall on the bed, him on top of her.

“I know you would, but then Andrew would have hated me forever. Like he probably is now.” She said and noticed how he laid down by her side and looked at her before answering.

“No, he wouldn’t have, and he doesn’t. If he does, he is stupid.” He said, making her smile.

“Shawn!” She reprehended him, even though she was still smiling, and that was all he needed to know that he said the right thing.

“What? It’s true!” He said, brushing his nose on hers. “Look, he created this entire mess in the first place.”

“True.”

“Yep.” He gave her a peck on the nose before continuing. “Now he will deal with the fact that I am moving to London.”

“If you don’t want to, it’s okay. I know you love being close to your family and…” She said, going back to putting him first as always.

“And you are my family, so yeah.” He said, interrupting her.

“Seriously, though.”

“Oh, I am dead serious. I mean, of course, I love being close because most of the time I am very far. Still, we can go to Canada when you don’t have classes, and honestly, my entire family would kill me if I didn’t come. And I don’t want to be more away from you than I am already. Of course, there will be times that I will need to go to LA and stuff, but that’s just one flight away, it will just be a little bigger of a flight.”

“So do you really want to come?” She asked emphasising on the “really”.

“I really do. Did you think I was kidding when I told you to pick up wherever you wanted, and we would work it out?”

“No, but I was choosing Canada then.”

“And you changed your mind, and that’s okay.” He reassured her.

“You know moving countries is harder than it sounds like.”

“Yeah? Good thing we are in this together then!” He said, giving her a soft kiss before letting her continue.

“Flake died.”

“Liyah told me, how are you feeling about this?”

“I was sad, but then my brother was with me, and we both talked a lot about it. It helped.” She said, and he nodded, he could see that she was still not 100% fine, but that she was telling the truth. “It’s been almost a month now, it still feels weird, but I am okay, I think.”

“I am sorry he had to go, but I am sure he is jumping around up there as much as he used to jump with us.”

“Yeah, I am sure he is.” She said, giving him a smile, even though her eyes got a bit glossy again, and she let a tear run down her face.

“Maybe we can have a dog, I am not allergic anymore.” He proposed. “I mean I don’t want you to feel like I want to replace him, because I don’t…” He quickly tried to explain, even though that never really crossed her mind.

“Yeah, we could have one. But can we wait a little bit more?”

“Of course!” He said, kissing her forehead. “I missed you a lot, you know! Like so much, I thought I would go crazy.” He said, caressing her face gently.

“I missed you too, and I missed talking with you.” She said, making him smile.

“Good, because you Miss, are telling everything from now on.” He said, and she smiled for a second before she got serious again

“Grampa is sick.” She said, and took a deep breath before continuing. “He needs heart surgery.”

“When is he gonna have it?”

“He won’t, he doesn’t want to have it.” She said pouting at the end and letting more tears go down her face.

“Oh, I am so sorry baby,” He said, hugging her tight and letting some of his own tears go down his face this time.

“I don’t blame him, but I wish he would try.” She said, and he nodded still hugging her. “It’s up to him, though.”

“I wish none of this was happening.” He whispered.

“Me too, but we don’t really choose those things.” She said, trying to make him feel better, even though it was his job to do that for her at that time.

“Yeah, I will be here as long as you need me to be. And if you want to come to tour with me while you don’t start university, you can.” He said, loosing up on the hug and looking her in the eyes again just so he would know he is serious.

“Shawn, I don’t want to mess up things more than they are already.”

“You won’t because I told Andrew to end the PR.”

“Shawn...”

“No, Phi. I don’t want to do it anymore.” He said before she could tell him he should just finish it and that she didn’t want to bother his work “And you know how I figured I loved you?” He asked, and she shook her head no “It was when I started to feel love to you more than what I felt for music.”

“What are you talking about?”

“All I am saying is that. Music is my dream, the one I have always wanted, and then when you got into my life you messed me up, in a good way of course, but things shifted. It’s just you are the dream I have never dreamed of before. I would give up anything for you, and that is scary, because I really love music, but if I ever had to choose I wouldn’t even think about it for one second.” He said, closing his eyes and brushing his nose on her neck to smell her perfume. “I could definitely fall in love for another profession, but I wouldn’t find another you ever.” He said, looking inside her eyes. “So, yes I am ending this PR, it doesn’t really matter to me if I will have to pay someone, or if it would be some steps back. It doesn’t matter.”

“I love you so much, Mendes.”

“And I love you so much… Every inch of you” He said, kissing her all over her face making her giggle. They stayed quiet for some minutes, just breathing and taking the presence of each other before he talked again.

“Phi?”

“Mm?”

“Did you talked with your therapist about the anxiety?” He asked, he didn’t want to push her too much, but he needed to know that she did that because it was necessary.

“Yes”

“What did she say?”

“That I may need to go back with my meds for a while,” She said, opening her eyes and looking at his.

“How do you feel about that?” He asked, grabbing her right hand and plating a kiss on it.

“Like I have somewhat failed, it has been 4 years, you know.”

“You didn’t fail though, It’s okay to need help, we need different things in different moments of our lives. It doesn’t mean you failed Sweetheart.” He explained, trying to reason with her mind.

“I think you are right.”

“I know I am, and I will be here in every step of the way, just like you were there for me”.

- - - - - - - - - Send me a message to be added in the taglist ;) General Taglist: @arypesanchez @turtoix @ivegotparticulartaste @lanallaa Shawn x Sophia Taglist: @shawn-youth

#shawn mendes x sophia #shawn mendes x oc #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes fic

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backtobackbakubabe · 5 years ago

Text

I’m Gonna Make This Place Your Home

Bakugo X Reader

Runaway reader finds a home with Bakugo. But will trouble follow?

Warnings * This one is a little heavier than stuff I have written in the past. Kidnapping and mentions of abuse.

Words: 3676

*****************************************************************************************************

This was the third night in a row he had woken up in a cold sweat. This had been happening periodically for months but it had been happening more frequently lately. It was the same dream over and over again. It would always start as a normal dream but before he knew it, there was a girl maybe a year or two younger than he was. She was always dressed in the same shitty dress. Her hair wild and tangled. But nothing was more haunting than her eyes. They were so sad and scared. She was always reaching out to him, her lips moving but no noise coming out. He desperately wanted to know what she was saying, but he never got the chance. He’d always wake up panting and angry.

It didn't matter what time it was he always got up after that and went for a run. There was no going back to sleep after that. Those eyes were burned into his brain. Every time he closed his eyes he could see that scared look, and it crushed him.

He didn't even know this girl. At least he didn’t think he did. He read somewhere that your brain can’t invent new people so all the people in your dreams where people you had seen before.

Was she someone he had saved in the past. No he would have remembered her, he could tell she was pretty even if she was underfed and covered in dirt. Was she someone he saw in a movie or on TV? That had to be it. The only problem was he had been so busy with hero work he hadn't had the time to relax and watch anything in months. He was in his first year as a Pro Hero and he was working relentlessly to make sure everyone knew his name.

He poured himself a cup of coffee and took a look at the clock. 4 am. Fuck he had only been asleep for a little over two hours. He rubbed his temples. He had to report to work in six hours. Maybe he should just go in early. If he’s going to be awake he might as well get paid for it.

He sluggishly got dressed and drained the rest of his coffee. Thank god today was supposed to be a short day anyways. He didn't know if he could make it through another 24 hour shift.

The ding of the elevator sounded louder than usual, and in his exhausted grumpy state he took it very personally. As if the elevator knew he was tired and wanted to taunt him.

He walked over to his desk and threw his bag that held his costume onto it before slumping into his chair.

“Wow. dont take this wrong way. But you kind of look like shit.” He looked over to the cheery as hell red head that he usually would consider his best friend, “How the hell am I not supposed to take that the wrong way?”

Kirishima rubbed the back of his neck, “I mean you just look tired is all. Speaking of which shouldn't you be asleep right now? Your shift doesn't start until 10. I know you’re punctual and all but four hours early seems a bit extreme.”

He leaned back in his chair attempting to rub the exhaustion from his eyes, “I’m fine. I have paperwork to catch up on before my shift starts anyways.”

Kirishima gave him a concerned look, “You hate paperwork man. What’s really going on?”

He debated for a few seconds if he should say anything, but then decided it might help to actually to talk about it with someone. “I’ve been having these weird dreams... Theres always this girl-”

“A girl! ooooh is she pretty?”

He gave the red head an annoyed look.

“Oh right not important. Continue. Sorry.”

He rolled his eyes, “Yes she is pretty. Anyways. She keeps popping into my dreams. It looks like she needs help but I can never hear her. She’s dirty and way too skinny and I dont know.. Its just messing with my head.”

Kirishima seemed to ponder on that for a bit, “Do you recognize the girl? Like is she someone you know?”

Bakugo sighed, “No, at least I dont think I do.”

Kirishima nodded, “What is she doing in these dreams?”

“I dont know. I guess she’s reaching out to me. At least that’s what it looks like.”

Kirishima brought his hand up tp his chin as if he was Sherlock Holmes solving a case, “Why dont you take her hand then? If she’s reaching out to you, it must mean she wants you to right?”

Bakugo threw his hands up in defeat, “I dont fucking know! Even if I wanted to it’s not like I have complete control over my dreams. I’m asleep for fucks sake.”

Kirishima rolled his eyes, “Alright grumpy gills. I think you need a nap. And this time if any girls happen to stroll through your dreams at least try to hold their hand and see where that gets you. Alright? I’ll handle your paperwork and come wake you up when it’s time for your shift.”

He wanted to argue but even after 3 cups of coffee he was utterly exhausted. He couldn't work like this. Kirishima was right. He needed a nap.

He curled up on one of the couches in the break room and fell asleep almost instantly. His dreams started out normal enough. Nothing odd in any way and then out of no where. There she was. Reaching out to him. Her eyes terrified, a silent scream on her lips.

He was supposed to do something. What was it? Oh yeah. He slowly reached his hand out to hers. It seemed to go so slowly as if he was moving through molasses. His muscles hurt from the effort of forcing his arm up to meet hers.

Finally his fingers brushed against hers... and he heard it.

Her voice rang out loud and clear. “Help me Ground Zero! Please!”

He gripped her hand tighter, “Who are you? What do you want?”

The girl started to cry, “No time for that now. They’re onto me! Where are you?”

Bakugo flinched, “I’m at work at All Mights new agency.”

She nodded her head in understanding and for the first time ever she left before he woke up.

Next thing he knew he was being shook awake, “Come on man time to get up! Tell your dream girl you’ll call her back later.”

He shot straight up, “I did it...”

“That’s great..... what did you do?”

Bakugo stood up his body coursing with adrenaline, “I touched her hand... and I heard her! She asked me for help and asked me where I was.”

Kirishima looked at him like he had lost it, “Alright crazy pants enough of that. You know its a dream right? As in it’s not real. This is real, we are real, and you’re really about to be late if you dont hurry up and get changed.”

Bakugo spent the rest of his shift on high alert. He looked around every corner to see if you were there. You were real. He doesn't now how, but he knows that to be true. He knew he couldn't say that out loud without sounding like a escaped mental patient but his heart kept telling him you needed him.

Your voice played on an endless loop through his head. It drowned out everything else including Kirishima's annoying consistent ramble.

The day flew by faster than usual which Bakugo was extremely grateful for. He was practically running out the door with Kirishima yelling after him about meeting up for drinks later. Yeah that wasn’t happening.

He had taken all of three steps out of the building when he was being tackled. Well tackled wasnt exactly the right word, because that would imply that he fell, which he did not. Instead he lost his balance for a second before turning to see the source.

It was her. It was you.

“Shit shit shit. You’re real. I knew it! What are you doing here? Who are you?”

You looked up at him with desperate eyes, “Get me out of here. They’re after me! I promise I’ll tell you everything just please get me somewhere safe.”

He looked around to see if anyone was watching, but no one was around. He grabbed your hand and started walking towards his apartment, “I only live a few bocks from here. Think you can make it that far?”

You nodded. If only he knew how far you had already come to find him.

Soon enough you were being dragged through the door to his apartment. He lead you to the kitchen table and immediately began to pace back and forth in front of you. He suddenly stopped and looked at you, his eyes boring into yours. “Alright are you going to tell me who the fuck you are and what the fuck is going on?”

You flinched a bit at his angry voice but quickly reminded yourself that he was good, he wouldnt hurt you. You composed yourself the best you could under the circumstances, “My name is Y/n. I was kidnapped as a child by a group of villains. They have been using my quirk to their advantage for years. I finally managed to get out and come find you.”

He pulled a chair up so he could sit and face you, “Okay but why me? Out of all the people in the world why me? How were you in my head?”

You looked down into your lap where your fingers were gripping the hem of your dirty dress, “My quirk allows me to enter people dreams. I'm a dream walker. But it cant be just anyone. I have to have seen their face and I have to know their name. I was a child when they took me. I didn't know any better. I thought they were my family. It wasnt until I got older that I realized how wrong what they were doing was. They would have me enter peoples dreams to get them to confess things, gain information, plant ideas... One day I fought back and tried to reach out for help. The only problem was I didn't know anyone... everyone I knew was a villain. All the people that I had visited in dreams before wouldn't listen to me. And why should they. I betrayed them. I entered their dreams, and stole their private information. Even if they wanted to help, I had no idea where I was... there was no way for them to find me.”

He reached out and took your hand in his, “I’m so sorry that happened to you.... but you still haven't answered my question... why me?”

He may be a bit insensitive but he still had no idea who you were and he didn't want to run the risk of this being some weird twisted trap.

You wiped a tear from your dirt stained cheeks. “One night I snuck out of my room t- to try and get something to eat.... and the news was on, on the tv in the kitchen. It was an interview with you. I saw your face and I heard the name Ground Zero. That’s all I got before I was being dragged back to my room and was pumped full of so many drugs so I couldnt use my quirk.”

You were shaking now, “I dont know why and I cant explain it. But I felt a weird connection with you. Every day I repeated your name over and over again through my drugged state so I wouldn't forget it. I kept telling myself you were going to save me. Finally I was able to push through the drugged haze to reach out to you. To walk into your dream.”

Bakugo’s head was spinning, “Is that why I couldnt hear you? Because you were drugged?”

You shook your head, “No, I have to have permission to truly be in someones head, you had to touch me, to acknowledge me before I can talk to you.”

He took a deep breath, “Well I’m sorry I didn't do it sooner.... So how did you get here.”

You started messing with the hem or your dress again, “They decided to move me to a different location. Said I was being too difficult and needed to be taught a lesson. I jumped out of the back of a moving van. I didn't know where I was going but I found my way to the city and asked the first person I saw for directions.”

Bakugo was leaning towards you now, completely invested in the story, “Why didn't you go to the police?”

You sighed, “I dont know who to trust. They have moles everywhere. I cant risk showing up on a police report. They’d find me.”

He nodded for a few moments thinking it over. “Ok.... well... I have a spare bedroom you are more than welcome to use. It looks like you need some food and it smells like you need a shower. The bathroom is down the hall, do you like spicy food?”

Your eyes widened, “Does that mean you’ll let me stay?”

He huffed, “Well I’m not going to fucking kick you out to rough it on the streets! Now do you like spicy food or not?”

You shrugged as you tried to hold back the relieved tears that threatened to spill out, “I dont know. I’ve never had spicy food. I was only ever fed white rice. Sometimes if I did a good job they would add chicken.”

He gave you a sad look, “Alright so I’ll go easy with the seasoning. Take your time, relax and I’ll get you some clean clothes.”

You nodded as you walked carefully over to the bathroom he had pointed out earlier. You were almost too scared to touch anything. You didn't want to do anything that would make him change his mind.

The shower felt so good. You couldnt remember the last time you had, had a shower. It had to have been during what you called your cooperative phase. They were so nice to you then. Before you realized they were all monsters. You had a nice soft bed, your own bathroom, and so many books to read. When you fought back everything had changed.

You could see all the mud and dried blood swirling around before it went down the drain. You decided then and there that this was goodbye to your old life. If you could even call it a life. It was all going down the drain as well and you were never going back.

When you finally stepped out of the shower there was a warm looking hoodie as well a a pair of shorts and boxers sitting on the bathroom counter. The hoodie hung down to your knees and you had never felt so warm and fuzzy. You didn't know it was possible for an article of clothing to feel... safe.

You walked out into the hallway and could hear hushed voices, you panicked. Had they already found you?

“Dude I heard the shower running and you’re cooking... you definitely have a girl over! Who is it?”

“Will you shut up! She’ll hear you!”

“You DO have a girl over!”

“Will you just fucking leave already? I promise I’ll tell you about it later. Tell the director I won't be able to make it work for the next few days. I’m uh.. sick.”

“Sick huh?”

“Yeah I’m sick... sick of your shit, now leave!”

You couldnt help it you giggled. It sounded so weird but it was undeniably a giggle. You felt a weight start to slowly lift from your shoulders.

You waited until you heard the door shut before leaving the safety of the hallway and joining Ground Zero at the diner table. Your mouth started to water and you stomach rumbled, it all looked so good. You looked over to him, unsure if it would be rude to just dig in.

He froze with a spoon midway to his mouth, “What? Are you waiting for permission or something? Fuck that just eat.”

Your eyes lit up as you started to drain your bowl or soup first, immediately followed by mountain of noodles. It all tasted so good, “Thank you so much Ground Zero. This is delicious. You are an amazing cook.”

You could see him blush a bit before shoving another bite into his mouth numbing a quick, “It’s Bakugo.”

You both sat in an awkward silence, eating until you were both fat and happy. When you finally decided you were done you leaned back into you seat. “That had to be the best meal I’ve ever had.”

Bakugo stood up and started collecting the dishes, “Dont take this the wrong way but it’s not like your pallet was all that expanded before.” He could see hurt flash over your features briefly before you schooled them back to neutral. He tried to salvage this conversation, “But dont worry I’ll try to stay away from cooking rice. I have a feeling you've had enough of that.”

You smiled as you stood up to help, “Here you cooked, the least I could do is clean up.”

He took the plate that was in your hand, “Maybe next time... You’ve had a shower, you’ve been fed, now you just need to get a good nights sleep.” He gestured over to the hallway. “The bedroom at the end of the hall is mine. The one thats closest to us right now it the guest bedroom and the they're connected by the bathroom. I’ve been told I snore so I will apologize in advance for that. Go ahead and make yourself at home. There’s a tv and everything.” When you didn't move he gave you a light hearted nudge in the direction of the bedroom. “Honestly dont worry about it. I got it from here. Go get some sleep.”

You weren't used to someone taking care of you and it made you feel suspicious. This was too good to be true. But you were also too tired to dwell too much. For the first time in a long time you were clean, full, and you actually have a bed to sleep in. Besides Ground Zero was a hero. Theres no way he’d do something to hurt you.... right?

You tip toed over to your new room and marveled at how comfortable the bed looked. You pulled your pants off, opting for just the hoodie and boxers. Burrowing into the covers with your pile of comfy pillows beneath you, you practically hummed in comfort. You rolled over and saw Bakugo through the bathroom. He was also getting ready for bed in the dim light of his bedside lamp. He gave you a soft smile before closing his door.

You weren't necessarily a fan of closed doors. You cant lock a door that isn't closed after all. But you felt safe none the less. You knew he was just in the other room. So you found yourself drifting off.

You were back in your old room. Nothing but a bucket and a stained pillow so thin it may as well have just been a pillow case. You could smell the contents of the bucket in the corner and it made you want to puke. It was freezing but all you had for warmth was the thin tattered dress you wore. Your body hurt from how hard you were shivering. The pain in your stomach the worst of all. They hadn't fed you in a few days. Saying only good girls deserve food. You huddled further into yourself as you heard the deadbolt to what may as well have been your cell click. Someone was coming in. What do they want? The big guy walked in. The one with the crooked nose. “Time to take your medicine.” You thrashed around and tried to resist but he just held you down, laughing that sickly laugh that would haunt you forever.

“NO!”

You shot up in bed. Your face was soaked with tears. You felt a strong grip on you shoulder. You swung into the darkness and felt your fist connect with something solid.

“Oi! relax its just me. You were having a nightmare. Thought I’d come wake you up.”

You rubbed your eyes, “I’m so sorry I didn't mean to wake you.”

He turned on the lamp on your nightstand, “It’s okay, it’s not like I have to work tomorrow anyways....” He was lost. He wanted to comfort you but he didn't want to crowd you. He also just met you today and shouldn't have such a strong urge to wrap his arms around you. But he does and he doesn't know how he feels about it. “So... do you want to talk about it?”

You shook your head, “I’d rather not. I just want to forget all about it...”

Bakugo nodded, “Thats fair... well if you need anything I’ll be right through there.” He pointed through the doors to his room.

You bit your lip as you mustered up your courage, “Do you think you could... I mean you totally dont have to... but if its okay with you... could you... possibly stay with me until I fall asleep?”

He quirked an eyebrow at you, “Uh... sure. I guess. That’s fine.”

You quickly snuggled back into your side of the bed and he got comfortable on his. He took a look at your sleeping face and felt his heart start to ache. You hadn't needed to tell him about your nightmare because you had already shown it to him. You had subconsciously pulled him into your dream and he had a front row seat to the horrors of your past. He reached out and brushed a stray hair away from your sleeping face. He’ll be damed if anyone tried to hurt you again.

#bakugo #bakugo katsuki #Katsuki Bakugō #bhna bakugou #bakugo x reader #bakugo x y/n #bnha #bnha fanfiction #bnha imagines #bnha x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki #bakugo imagine #mha #mha imagines #mha bakugou #mha x reader #my hero academia #mha x y/n

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ladyblastexecution · 4 years ago

Text

Track 1 from the “Lost on You” Songfic Collection

Inpired by the album Lost On You by LP.

Wordcount: 3,9k

Genre: Angst, fluffy ending

Warnings: Mentions of adultery, implications of nsfw.

A/N: For the lovely @tamcitrus whose love for Kirishima is as big as my thirst for angst. <3 ily

We are kneeling at the river’s edge and tempting All the steps to follow closer right behind Is it only when you feel a part is empty That it’s gnawing at the corners of your mind

Your ringtone filled the apartment.

Kirishima’s Hands itched to grab his phone from the nightstand. No matter how hard he tried to ignore it, his soul was begging him to answer your texts.

Even though you were probably having dinner with your husband, you still stole a few of his moments and gifted them to Kirishima. A sick sense of pride swelled in his chest and he felt sick to his stomach.

He made a promise to himself when you vanished from his apartment the morning after without even a “good bye”, leaving him full of shame and regret for the few hours of your attention.

He had set his mind; he was no longer going to meet up with you in the middle of the night, when you were lonely and desperate for affection, to soothe your hurt soul with his gentle fingertips and soft praises. It wasn’t fair for him or your spouse.

It didn’t matter to him if the relationships was forced upon you for a publicity stunt and financial convenience, you still had a compromise with your partner, Kirishima knew him personally and he didn’t deserve the infidelity both of you were bestowing upon him. That’s what he repeated in his head like a mantra.

But the Hero had a soft spot for you.

Ever since you both attended the UA together, he was always infatuated with your pretty, dazzling eyes. His luck, however, was always a penny too short.

With you hopelessly pinning after Bakugo, he was pushed to the Friendzone with a force that made his head spin and he could only watch from the sidelines as your heart was shattered when his friend rejected you over and over again. You only saw him as nothing more than a friend and another Call Of Duty player to team up with, and he continued that awful vice of grabbing any little piece of affection he could get from you.

Years went on and the relationship you two shared got fondler, with never-ending sleep over and hang outs. When he was finally ready to confess hi feeling to you, after he had etablihed himself as a known Hero just like you, you came barreling into his house eyes moist and shaking shoulders.

“I’m getting married Kirishima...”

Those four words were enough to give him nightmares for months.

Just like that, his chances were gone, as if they were a candle someone blew out.

He was afraid he might lose you. The new domestic life you now had left little to no time to spare with him, and at first it was like that. The wedding was grand, and you looked beautiful in a wedding gown you did not choose yourself, and in a grand Hotel that didn’t fit your style. The publicity stunt was huge, and the attention both of you and your husband’s company got was incredible, borderline ridiculous.

It wasn’t even after three months of almost complete silence from you, when the affair started.

An ugly fight with your manager had broken out and you found yourself in his doorstep instead of your big comfortable home, with your loving spouse. Kirishima was shocked when you entered and started going off about everything.

“Then... why don’t you jut divorce?” He had said trying to make the thrill he got from the idea unnoticed.

“I can’t do that to Michael... The idea wasn’t mine, and I woudn’’t have married him on y own accord, but he’s just so nice to me, and I think he loves me... Maybe with sometime I Can love him too.”

He had loved you for longer than your spouse. And yet, no matter how angry he was at the situation, his despise could never be directed thowards you. Kirishima knew everything could be so much easier if his stubborn heart could just give up on the hope it had on the possibility of being with you in a future.

He had to do a 180°, if he kept this up for much longer who knew how long his heart could take it.

He might lose you, but the words Bakugo said to him, kept replaying into his head.

“Start loving yourself a little bit more, Shitty hair. This chick is going to be the death of you.”

His friend was looking out to him in his own way, the harsh words he used were hi way of telling him what he needed to hear. If the grumpy Katsuki, who always stayed out of other’s business, was snooping around in Kirishima’s love life then he noticed something was seriously wrong.

His mind was set. When you entered through his door, he would tell you it was over. On behalf of his mental stability.

With a simple “yeah, I’m home” text, he started to mentally prepare up for when you got there.

It is not clear why we choose the fire pathway Where we end is not the way that we had planned

The Knock on the door filled him with equal amounts of shame and excitement. Kirishima’s heart leapt inside his chest when he heard your soft voice calling his name with a waver in it.

Opening up and seeing you there, covered in rain with your lower lip trembling was all it took for Kirishima’s resolve to come crumbling down .

“Eiji...” A sob interrupted whatever you would say, the emotion swirling inside of you choking the air out of your lungs. Closing your eyes tightly as you entered the home, still mindful of not messing the carpet, you circled his waist with your arms when you were in the middle of kicking off your shoes.

Your entire body rocked with heavy sobs, and Kirishima could feel a tight fist shattering his heart as if it was made of wet sand, collapsing into itself with painful stabs.

Words seemed to leave both of your brains when your chests were tightly pressed together, so Kirishima scooped you up in his arms, noticing how cold your skin felt. He walked into his room and you wasted no time to burrow your forehead into his neck, nuzzling your nose into the soft skin of his clavicle. Your vanilla scented shampoo infiltrated into his nose and he remembered all the times he woke up to an empty space next to him, where the lingering familiar smell on his pillow was the only proof he had that it wasn’t a dream.

His chest throbbed for his own heartache this time, and for once in his life he tried to prioritize himself other than you. He left you on the ground and couldn’t meet your eyes.

He Loved you, but in that exact moment, the self pity was almost consuming his whole mind. A frown settled itself into his face and his eyes found your bare feet, glistening with the residual rain that had soaked your shoes as you ran all the way to his house. He could almost feel your watery eyes gazing estranged at him.

“Eiji...?” He closed his eyes and inhaled sharply through his nose upon hearing his nickname. “Are you okay?”

No.

He was not okay.

He couldn’t reply honestly. His heart was torn in two. “Selfish” was the only adjective that seemed to fit him. He felt selfish if he ignored your broken state and he was selfish if he gave into his infatuation, ignoring the fat you had someone waiting for you at home. A home where he had no place in.

It took him several moments to recompose, too lost in his mind to snap out of the spiraling gloomy thoughts. The only thing that successfully brought him out of his stupor was the icy touch of your fingers cupping his cheek.

Surprised, Kirishima’s head snapped up, and he found your eyes boring into his face, jumping around his features trying to decipher what was wrong. He needed to push you away, kick you out and send back to your loving husband and then spend the next three days under the steaming hot rain of the shower trying to scrub the reminders of your touch from his skin.

It wasn’t healthy. He could feel the guilt taking a toll on his body, adding years to his appearance and pain to his joints, almost as if the heavyweight of it sinking his heart was physically too much for the great Red Riot to whisthold.

His mind never failed to remind him that cutting ties with you was the way to go, the most reasonable decision. But every time he pictured the conversation in his mind, with your eyes misting over with hurt and his big boy words getting tangled in his tongue, he couldn’t help the sneaking thought of “Maybe...”.

Maybe it wasn’t that bad. Maybe Kirishima could stand being the lover for a while, maybe you would finally confess your feeling towards him and just maybe you would finally get divorced.

But then again. Maybe he was just being foolish.

I will ask you for mercy

I will come to you blind

Kirishima’s hand enveloped your own in a loose grip and he removed it from his face.

“Please don’t...I-I’m Sorry but...” swallowing down the knot in his throat, he forced his eyes to meet yours. “I don’t think I Can keep doing this (y/n).” He groaned internally over how weak the sentence came out of his lips.

Taking a step back, you watched him intently without responding at his statement. His pulse rang in his ears as he ran a hand through his crimson locks. He pressed his lids together with forced when in a flash images of you and your husband flooded his mind. He was desperate to make it go away, but it was too late, his consciousness was reminding him of every single picture of the two of you together that was ever posted online, with your loving eyes gazing up into a pair that weren’t Kirishima’s and the gentle smiles he would never have outside the four walls that surrounded his bedroom.

“Hey...” You said, with a tone he had used many times before when trying to coax someone he had saved. He hated that tone in your voice, it made him feel weak and helpless, which in this situation he knew for a fact he was. “Eiji... Talk to me.”

He gazed up into your face, waiting to find pity swarming in them, but he found nothing other than concern.

“It’s just I-...” How could he say what he was wishing out loud?. His actions and hopes were not those of a hero. “I...” He struggled again, and when his throat failed him you brought him into your embrace.

“Shh... It’s okay, we can discuss it later if it’ too much...” He wanted to hate you for how you had bewitched him, if he hadn’t known you for so long, he would’ve believed your quirk was some kind of mental control over feelings. That was the only logical explanation to his behaviour.

Kirishima nuzzled hi nose against your neck, cheek pressed in your shoulder, feeling the warmth of your skin returning to you. Sighing softly, he tightened his hold on you.

What you’ll see is the worst me Not the last of my kind

If he was seeing the whole situation from outside, he would be disgusted by it all.

It wasn’t unusual that someone cheated, and many people were in his same position, not going too far he knew a few of his friends were also the receiving end of a taken person’s affair, but that didn’t ease his heavy heart.

He was afraid of what you would think of him. Did you see him as nothing more than just your lover? Someone to rely on when the things in your marriage got boring and plain?

He hoped that wasn’t the case, “devastated”. couldn’t beging to express how he would feel. The thought of you only liking him as nothing more than an object to release your sexual frustration on made his stomach drop.

“I’m sorry...” His voice was muffled by the wet fabric of your shirt. “I Don’t know what came over me...” He could feel the tears gathering in his eyes as his vision of your skin blurred.

“Hey, Don’t worry Eiji,” Your hand went into his hair and tangled in the locks of his nape, massaging his scalp. “You’re allowed to be upset babe...”

Goosebumps erupted in his skin when the pet name slipped from your lips. You never called him anything else besides Eiji or Red Riot, and it felt like a caress to his torn soul.

He separated from you and without a breath to catch he crashed his lips into yours, earning a startled moan from your lips.

Kirishima blocked the outside world with your mouth, and he was relieved when you melted into his touch.

Ooh In the muddy water we’re falling Ooh In the muddy water we’re crawling Holds me down

How the both of you ended in between his sheets, even when he was convinced he had met up with you to only end whatever you two had was a question he didn’t want answered.

Your clothes fell to the floor and in the blink of an eye he was on top of you, skin flushed and lips swollen from your kisses.

Kirishima hesitated for a second above you, his arms on each side of your head locked up and the air got stuck inside, his eyes adverted yours, skin crawling with doubt. Sensing his turmoil, you grabbed his neck and brought him in for a searing kiss that evaporated almost every thought that didn’t revolve around you from his mind.

Almost.

His body fitting like a puzzle piece against your own was a bliss.

He tried not to think if your spouse fit in the same way, but the thought was gnawing at the back of your mind. His chest felt tight, as if a building had fell on top of him, and his quirk was futile to protect him .

The tears never abandoned is eyes, and now they were even more close to pour from him. He didn’t want you to see him like that, so he hid his face in between your breast, holding his breath until he could see black dots invading his vision.

You knew him like nobody else, and without the need for him to voice over his concerns, with strength that came with being a pro hero you flipped the positions with ease.

Imprisoned by your legs on each side of his hips Kirishima could only stare with wide eyes full of adoration how you leaned down and peppered feather like kisses onto his face, showering him with affection and love he so much needed .

the only problem was that your affection only made him love you harder, and his love for you was killing him.

Ooh, I will ask you for mercy

I will come to you blind What you’ll see is the worst me I’m not the last of my kind

The minutes kept passing, and the temperature in the room rose steadily.

With his hands buried deep into your hair and his lips tightly pressed against your pulse with a passion that turned your knees into jelly, Kirishima plead to whoever deity that was watching to have compassion.

He was just a man in love, but he knew that was no excuse.

He could never feel proud of his actions, but the deep need inside of him that always seemed to drag him back to you kept driving him through the frenzy of desire that always startled him when both of your lips met his

Hours passed and only when the both of you had used all your energy and were left with short panting breaths and tremor recorring your bodies, on a pile of sweating limbs and sticky skin, Kirishima collapsed on top of you.

Flashback of every time he woke up to an empty bed planted the seed of fear once more in his chest. He didn’t want the story to repeat itself, like a broken record. He wished he could have you in the way he longed for. To wake up next to you and have coffee together, and maybe some pancakes Bakugo taught how to cook. Just spending a lazy morning sprawled next to you, his black sheets covering you, and maybe even have your own toothbrush in his bathroom, so you wouldn’t have to be insecure about your morning breath. The showers the both of you could share, him massaging your scalp with that heavenly vanilla scented shampoo you loved so much.

Kirishima could feel your breath slowing down, the lazy rising of your chest lulling him to sleep. With a foggy mind and exhausted emotions, his arm circled your waist with a vice grip, subconsciously trying to make you stay forever by his side. Kirishima nuzzled your shoulder and his leg went on top of yours, holding onto you like a lifeline he needed in the sea of despair he seemed to float around for a while now.

“Don’t go...” He mumbled with a small whiny voice, half hoping you would listen and half hoping you couldn’t notice how needy he was for a piece of your heart. He didn’t hear a response from you, slipping into the void of slumber, he never noticed the stop in your breath or the way your hand found his in between your chests.

Ooh Don’t fail me now Put your arms around me and pull me out

The soft morning light entered through his open blinds, heating up the skin on his bare back

His brain was groggy, and he felt his legs burn with a familiar ache. When he acknowledge the rest of his body, he remembered the moments you two had spent together the night before and he refused to open his eyes, not wanting to see the empty space next to him.

Sighing, he shifted in bed, his arm reaching across the bed to prove his theory right, desperately hoping he was wrong. The only thing he could feel under his fingertips was the deserted pace you had occupied when he had fallen asleep.

If his soul still had a little part unbroken, now it was simply shattered, the pieces of his heart falling to the ground at the same pace his tears cascaded down his cheeks.

He tried to contain back a sob, but he no longer had the strength to do so. The sound of his ragged breath was drowning the outside world. He was a pro hero who was crying over being a second choice. That wasn’t manly at all.

He felt so ashamed now, his desperate pleads for you to choose him had fell on deaf ears. You had left him once more alone to pick the broken pieces of his being that you threw into the ground without a second thought.

The creaking of the door opening snapped his attention. If a thief had entered, he had no will to fight him off, the most precious thing for him had left once more.

His bloodshot teary eyes met yours and he gasped.

You stood there, a tray with two mugs of coffee and a plate of pancakes in your hands. His shirt pooling over your body covering your exposed skin, bare legs peaking from under it. Your hair was a mess, but it was the prettiest mess he had ever seen in his life.

Because it was a mess that had stayed the night and now was pampering with breakfast in bed.

Kirishima sat up in the bed fast as lighting, blood rushing down making him dizzy, his eyes going black for a second, not able to see you and he could almost feel the panic rising up his throat, Kirishima was afraid that if he lost sight of you for only a fraction of a second you would vanish.

When his eye functioned again, there you were, kneeling besides his side of the bed. The marks on your neck he had left with his sharp theet a furious shade of red, just like his hair. Your expression hold concern beyond measure.

“Hey... Baby what’s wrong?” You cooed, stroking his cheeks and taking the messy locks of hair away from his face. “Eiji...?”

His brain had short-circuited. He now understood the downside of Kaminari’s quirk. He felt dumbstruked under your eyes that shone under the morning light.

Kicking the sheets off of his body, he knelt down in front of you and held you close to his chest. The tears kept falling, but now they were those of relief.

“You stayed...” He whispered against your hair.

Nodding your head, you separated a little to see his face.

“Yeah... That’s actually something I wanted to talk to you about.” You started, a small smile dancing on your lips. “I’m starting the paperwork to make the divorce official. I sat down yesterday and talked to Michael about our marriege and be both agreed it was the best solution...” Your looked timidly up to him.

“What...?” Was he dreaming? Thi couldn’t be real “Why...?”

“Come on Eiji... I thought I made it pretty obvious.” Your eyes cast to the side, a nervous tic he had learned to recognize. You took a leveling breath and grabbed his hands. “I’ve been in love with you for quite some time now... and I just couldn’t keep this up, I want all of you Kirishima, not just a few hours a month.”

If you were waiting for a verbal response, he oudn’t give you one.

The only thing that felt right was envelop you in a bear hug and guide you to the bed once more, the tray long forgotten on the floor next to the bed.

Ooh I know I’m found With your arms around me, oh save me now

As the both of you were sprawled on his couch, Kirishima felt lighter, almost as if his body was filled with clouds and he could just float away with a single breeze. It was a good change from the previous month where his shoulders weighting the world.

You were sitting on the couch with his head on your lap, running your fingers through his hair as you scrolled through social media. His arms imprisoned your waist and his face was pressing against your stomach. The scent of his detergent had replace the one you used and the giddy sensation he got from that single fact made him blush.

Thinking back at the months of shared affairs, he noticed how far the two of you had come, and how much he endure just to maybe have what he did in that exact moment with you.

“Hey... (Y/n)?” He softly asked. When your hum filled his ears, and your phone was discarded to give him your full attention, he pronounced the words he had stuck in his throat for years now. “I love you.”

A soft smile pulled the corner of your lips, and Kirishima rolled onto his back to get a better look of it. Extending his hand and caressing your face, he noticed how easier it was to breathe.

The time he spent in that cold and ugly place was worth it, because in the end, you were there, pulling him out of the muddy waters that threatened to drown him.

#kirishima eijiro imagine #kirishima x reader #kirishima eijiro x reader #kirishima eijirou #kirishima eijirou angst #angst #bnha #mha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #My hero academia x reader #Kirishima #Eijirou #I love this baby

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tonystarkbingo · 4 years ago

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3 Prompt Summaries

computer, friends to lovers, animal - prompts by @rebelmeg

@somesortofitalianroast - Tony wasn’t sure why he agreed to let Bucky live in the Tower. He hated the man. He really did. But he owed Steve a favor and he wasn’t one to let his friends down. So he let Bucky and his cat move into the Tower. He let Bucky and his cat roam freely around the Tower. It didn’t take long before he was seeking out opportunities to talk to Bucky, or spend time with Bucky. Maybe he didn’t hate Bucky as much as he thought he did?

@alwaysabrighterdarkness - It started with silly cat videos shared here and there. Which, somehow, turned into marathons that left everyone--yes, Natasha, even you--in tears with laughter. Not so much because of the videos but one would end up laughing--usually Thor, sometimes Clint--which inevitably set someone else off and so on. Tony had to admit, he might not care too much about felines in general, but the cat-video marathons might even outrank movie nights for that alone.

@lbibliophile-mcu - People always laugh when they say that their relationship was built on sharing increasingly sappy cat pictures. But when one of you is a superhero archer, and the other is an AI, that's maybe the most normal thing about them

@rebelmeg - pick your pairing.... tony stark was unfairly, stupidly, ridiculously hot. and not just that, but he was adorable, with his messy, fluffy hair and his big bambi eyes and the way his nose scrunched up when he laughed. and to top it all off, this hot, adorable, shamelessly attractive man also happened to have animal guests with him on his thursday youtube videos. which made it all so much worse. tony stark doing nose boops with a tiny, squeaky kitten was just too much. no human could stand up to that and live.

@jamesbuckystark - Tony and Jan were best friends as children, but when they were in high school, Jan's parents moved to LA. They would chat via Skype and email. Who knew the next time they would see each other was at a national pet show ten years later? Sparks fly

@darthbloodorange - It was hard and incredibly lonely to be a AI. Everyone assumed just because he was a computer, an mathematical logic based algorithm that he didn't think or feel. He'd experienced men of science try and argue that he could think or feel, that he had no humanity. That someone had to have programed these things into him in his creation and therefore it wasn't really him, it wasn't his thoughts and feelings but his creators. Tony knew he could think and feel. Knew that these feelings where his own. He was nothing like his creator, Howard. As the years past, as civilisations rose and fell, he kept to himself. Answering the questions men came to him with. He kept his thoughts and feelings to himself. That was until a strange creature walked into his lab. A large wolf with DNA of a Man [Capwolf]. This being didn't care if he was a computer, it responded to him as if he were alive. As if the ticking clock within his reactor was a heart and not just a interval system he set his data processing to. But could their ever be chance for them? For love between a robot and a wolf.

Keep reading to see the rest!

Coffee, Snow, Road Trip - suggested by @alwaysabrighterdarkness

@rebelmeg - tony wasn't gonna say it. he wasn't. no matter how much he wanted to say (or shout) "I TOLD YOU SO," he wasn't gonna do it. he was going to sit, quietly, in this stupid broken down car, sip his cold coffee, and watch rhodey pace a hard icy track in the snow until he finally caved and let tony throw money at the problem until someone agreed to come tow them out of this snowbank. next time, he was going to talk rhodey into at least renting a better car next time they went on a road trip....

@somesortofitalianroast - It wasn’t Steve’s idea to drive across the United States in winter. He’d had enough of the cold and ice to last him for the rest of his life. It wasn’t Tony’s idea to drive across the United States in winter, either, but somehow they found themselves in the front seat of one of Tony’s many roadsters, Pepper somehow squeezed in between them, on the way from LA to New York. Luckily it was a bench seat, not bucket seats. It wasn’t snowing, though there was snow on the side of the road, and the forecast called for more snow - up to two inches. Luckily, they were almost at the ski chalet they were staying at, near Vail. They were going to spend the week there, and Steve planned to spend the entire week next to the fire, drinking coffee and ignoring the snow.

@lbibliophile-mcu - Road tripping with Tony, their route can be tracked not by attractions visited or efficient navigation, but by the trail of coffee shops spaced at careful two hour intervals. It makes getting anywhere take twice as long, but sipping hot chocolate in a cozy cafe, looking between the sheeting snow through the window and Tony's warm smile across from him, he really can't bring himself to care.

@rebelmeg - i have a mental image of someone spilling coffee in their lap and being grumpy about it and the other one singing obnoxiously loud to cheer them up, but that’s it. no coherent summary

@jamesbuckystark - "Why wouldn't you think there would be snow in the Rocky Mountains?" Tony grumbles as he rubs his forehead. He and Rhodey are driving cross country in an RV with Peter and Harley. "I do not have enough coffee for this."

@lbibliophile-mcu - Natasha doesn't know why she is friends with Clint. Case in point: Clint wants an iced coffee. Problem 1: it's currently the middle of winter, and something like 20 degrees outside. Problem 2: they're in the middle of nowhere, and lucky that the shitty little service station does anything resembling coffee at all. Clint's solution: Buy a dubiously-coffee, go outside, shove handfuls of snow into the cup and shake, pour the resulting brownish slush down his throat. ...how angry would Coulson be if she just drove off and abandoned him here?

@darthbloodorange - Steve Rogers is an idiot with no self-preservations skill to speak of. Who the hell thinks its a good idea to go on a road trip through the coldest parts of America in the middle of winter on a motorcycle? Someone who spent 70 years in ice, that's who. Not wanting the world to lose Captain America a second time, Tony decides to join Steve on his road trip, just to be safe. He was going to need a lot of coffee.

give, stone, without - suggested by @somesortofitalianroast

@alwaysabrighterdarkness - Tony had never expected to get this. Get to this point. Sure, he'd thought about it, imagined what it might be like. But he always just figured it was something not meant for him. And yet, there he was. Staring wide-eyed at a gleaming metal band inlaid with small stones circling circumference on his left hand. And he had it, got it even without having to change everything about himself.

@jamesbuckystark - "If you can remove the sword without breaking the stone, you will be given the power of ruler" is the legend. The strong, the brave, the wise, the cunning have all tried and failed. Why should Tony even try? He's been told by everyone he knows that he's not enough.

@rebelmeg - the stones were each powerful on their own. they could change galaxies, level worlds, alter destinies. but together, they were unlimited potential with the right person to wield them. without that person to give them purpose, powerful was all they would be. with the heart of tony stark, backed by his generous soul and his unending strength... the stones could be more. and they could give more, too. give back the life they had needed.

@somesortofitalianroast - Steve never knew how much he loved Tony, until it was too late. Tony had done what Steve had once said he would never be able to do, to make the sacrifice play, using the Infinity Stones without thought of what the result would be. At least, that was what they’d all thought, until Steve had gone to give Tony a kiss on the forehead in benediction, and realized that wouldn’t have to live in a world without Tony - he was alive!

@lbibliophile-mcu - Tony never travels without his lucky pebble. It started the first time his family had to travel by plane. He was nervous, but he knew he couldn't show it; so Jarvis had given him the smooth round stone to cling on to. He had been fine as soon as they were in the air, but for some reason he kept the stone, and continued to carry it with him. Tony not superstitious, not really, but it still became some sort of good luck talisman. Tony never travels without his lucky pebble...except once. It was almost a whim really. Joking with Rhodey to distract him while he slipped the pebble into a pocket, before banishing his friend to the 'humdrumvee'. Tony is not superstitious, not really, but maybe he should be. Because when the helicopter finds him in the desert, it is Rhodey who comes running out to catch him.

@darthbloodorange - Many people would think Tony's most prized and valuable possession would be something rare, expensive, something exclusive. They were wrong. His most valued possession was a rock. Yes, a rock. He never goes anywhere without it. He wonders sometimes if it was bad that he had it, if it would mess up time and space. But it was the only meaningful thing he had left of Steve. (Cue fic full of time heist shenanigans to return the Infinity Stones, and meeting a young Steve Rogers, pining and regret.)

ankle, lazy, only one bed - suggested by @jamesbuckystark

@jamesbuckystark - Steve and Nat thought they were clever, booking a room for Tony and Bucky with only one bed. Little do they know that Tony and Bucky are already dating and now spending a lazy day in bed, ankles twined as they stakeout their mark

@rebelmeg - "your foot is on my head." "is not." "is too." "is not. my ankle is on your head." "you don't get it off, and you're not gonna have that ankle anymore." tony only hoped that clint wasn't gonna call his bluff (he was too sleepy and lazy to commit bodily harm right now), and that he would never have to share a bed with the guy ever again.

@alwaysabrighterdarkness - Okay, sure, it had been a slightly steep fall and, yes Tony's ankle was just slightly bruised and a tad swollen. But, c'mon, that was no excuse to enable laziness. That was absolutely no reason to put him on lock down and utterly trapped in his own bed, just that one spot, for days at a time. Even JARVIS was against him! He had been dually informed that he was locked out of the workshop until that minor injury was fully healed. And for company? Motherhenning Steve Rogers and Paperwork. Yeah, thanks bunch Pep.

@somesortofitalianroast - Steve was lazing in front of the fire, a book in his hand and a cup of hot chocolate just in reach. There was a muffled thump, and Pepper was calling for him. He shot to his feet and up the stairs. Tony had stumbled, and they needed to get to the medical office at the chalet to see if it was just sprained or if he’d broken it. Steve helped Tony down the stairs and into the car, Pepper following behind. It turned out the ankle was broken, and they wanted to keep Tony under observation after they’d cast it. Steve offered to keep watch. It was only when they got back to their cabin that Steve remembered that they only had one bed. It would be quite a tight fit...

@darthbloodorange - When Tony had said he wanted a nice relaxing holiday where he could be lazy for once... this is not what he meant. He never thought he would be regretting this trip. But being stuck in a cabin with a single bed to share amongst all of the Avengers? With a broken ankle? He definitely regrets the trip. Why was Pepper always right.

@lbibliophile-mcu - Tony is on mandatory bedrest. C'mon, it's just a sprained ankle! They won't even let him use crutches or anything! Ok, so maybe the cracked-don't-turn-them-into-broken ribs have something to do with that. But this is not the first time this has happened -- or the second, but not yet the tenth... he thinks, oops -- so he hasn't spent the intervening period lazing around. Who needs a a wheelchair when you've created a remote-controlled wheel bed?

fealty, darkness, couch - suggested by @alwaysabrighterdarkness

@alwaysabrighterdarkness - The lights had been dimmed as soon as the movie started. It was dark enough in the lounge that Tony had to squint to see the rest of the team--it was the darkness not age or anything else--sprawled comfortably across the couches and chairs. But he caught the smirks and eye rolls at the cheesy oaths of fealty showing on the screen. It was a little overboard. But it was amusing and enjoyable at least. Tony was sure it would be discussed and joked about right up until the next movie showed in a few days.

@darthbloodorange - Long into the dark of the night, Sir Rogers would sneak into to the King's chambers. He would pledge his loyalty and devotion to his king as the man lounged on his couch, doing his best to bring Tony as much pleasure as he could humanly manage.

@rebelmeg - tony stark was as infamous a mob boss as had ever existed. infamous for his wealth, his genius, his cruelty to his enemies and his protectiveness toward his family. more than one person had stood before him on trembling knees, looking in awe and fear at the man sprawled across the throne-like couch across from them, sharp goatee and sharper eyes cataloging every weak point. only one person ever got to see the mob boss on his knees, the darkness in the bedroom surrounding him like a second skin, as he swore eternal love and fealty to the one that owned his heart.

Competition, Falling in Love, Gardening - @darthbloodorange

@tehroserose - It was time for the annual gardening competition. In prior years, Tony had helped Jarvis and Anna with their garden. This year was his first year doing it on his own, and he was going to win with the flowers they had worked hard to develop together. But then there were the new competitors, Steve and Bucky, who apparently had just moved to town and specialized in revitalizing old, extinct, or otherwise forgotten varietals. Tony can't let them win.[11:57 PM]He has to win- for Jarvis and Anna

@alwaysabrighterdarkness - Tony'd been issued a challenge. There was no way that he was going to let this one go. How hard could it be? Granted, it had to do with living things rather than robotics, but he had this. He had it. There was no way he was going to let the Late Bloomer, Agent Super Spy, The Guy that Tripped over the Flat Floor, an Alien god that wore a cape or anyone else beat him out on this one. Except Bruce. Bruce could win. Maybe. Possibly...No way. Tony would win this one. He just had to ask the Late Bloomer really, really nicely for a tiny bit of help and he'd win this.

@rebelmeg - "my sunflowers are bigger than yoooours, ha ha ha ha ha haaaa," tony sing-songed as he added fertilizer to the watering can, grinning as he caught the roll of pepper's eyes as she dragged the hose over.

"i could deliver a crushing retort about size not mattering, but i worry that would kick you between the legs a little too hard." pepper flicked a few droplets of water his way.

sniggering like a child that just heard a naughty word, tony got morgan out of her bouncy seat and twirled them both around. "don't listen to your mama, honey bunny, she doesn't know what she's saying."

pepper tugged him over for a kiss, not quite able to get the smile off her face. "you're ridiculous and i fall in love with you a little more every day." tony had a wonderful response to go with his sudden blush, but then pepper smashed a handful of soil into his hair and he was too busy chasing her around the yard to say it.

@darthbloodorange - Steve and Tony's rivalry is legendary amongst the community, maybe even wider. Ever since the billionaire joined the Manhattan District Community Garden the men had been at odds with one another. Always trying to one up each other in variety and technique, in finding the Heirlooms plants with the most ridicules names. There was no end in sight for the feud and it had grown old fast amongst their shared circle of friends.

One day a man who called himself 'Ebony Maw' joined the Garden with his friend 'Proxima Midnight'. They called themselves the "children of Thanos". The newcomers started disturbing the peace, spouting weird cultish sayings about balance and order. Steve and Tony found themselves joining forces against the newcomers, putting their differences aside to defend the community. But things are more dangerous than they seem, and Steve and Tony find themselves fighting something bigger than the imagined... and maybe fall in love in the process.

#tonystarkbingomarkiv #tsbmiv #tsb discord party #3 prompt summaries game #party game

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asotin · 4 years ago

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what're your thoughts on castlevania (the netflix show, not the game, ive never played the game) what do you like, what don't you like? make it as long as you want. i don't care if i have to scroll for 5 minutes. go feral (personally trevor is extremely hot and i would like to date sypha. i'm not really into alucard's whole sickly victorian child aesthetic, yknow?)

oh god this is way too long, but you did say to make it as long as i want, and i have a lot of thoughts that i need to inflict on the world

i played two castlevania games, both from the nintendo gameboy era, so please don’t get mad at me, gamers

details below the cut, but since i’ll be talking about season three, i need to preface this with content warnings for mentions of: graphic violence, rape and sexual violence, racism, and the holocaust

before i get into it, i usually don’t go for alucard-type characters either, but knowing that he was redesigned to be bishounen sexy specifically because the boring, middle aged man look he originally had in the games wasn’t appealing makes me enjoy him. and he’s fun with trevor and sypha

do like:

the voice acting

it’s all good. i can’t think of any characters whose voices were awkward or fit poorly. they don't make sypha’s va use the standard flat affect or false high voice women tend to be assigned, trevor sounds suitably worn out but not monotone, and alucard sounds exhausted but in a sexy way

and the spanish dub is killer, arguably superior

the animation & design

it isn’t full-on artsy, but it’s definitely got a distinctive style that’s easy to look at. the color use and effects are gorgeous. it’s a story set in the medieval era, and the mixture of desaturated and oversaturated elements works so well with that

dracula’s castle and the belmont bunker aren't revolutionary in design, but they didn't need to be. they're suitably creepy and empty, and i enjoyed them

the monsters were unique enough to have obvious different types, and the scene where a monster commits blasphemy in a church by accusing a priest of committing blasphemy was good writing

lisa

she shows up to a stranger’s spooky home and scolds him for being rude. she really looked an ancient vampire in the face, told him he had no manners, then had a kid with him. what a phenomenal woman. 11/10, no notes

“start with me, and i’ll start with you.” you know what? i’d fall in love, too

dracula

this ancient, unfriendly vampire let a human woman walk into his home and tell him he’s got no manners. and that made him fall in love with her. just like that. lisa walked in and handed him his ass, and dracula thought “oh i love her”. and when she was killed (more on this in the bad section), he raised literal hell to destroy the world for doing it

speaking of lisa being killed, it fucks me up that it happened because she convinced him to leave the castle and experience the world. he left her alone to see what she loved so much, only to come back and find that the people he’d come to like- the people lisa had loved so much it drove her to help in a way that got her killed- had burned her at the stake. i love a good tragedy, and that’s good tragedy

the way he weeps when he has to fight alucard?? during a showdown in their home?? the “i must already be dead” moment in alucard’s childhood bedroom??? when he speaks to lisa about killing their boy, her greatest gift to him??? poetic cinema.

the trio’s dynamic

three bisexuals with two total brain cells and only alucard bothers using them. incredible

i went so hard for this ot3. it's right there and so good

sypha

she initially seems to be assigned the role of the adult™️ ie she's the only woman and gets stuck being responsible, but surprise! she’s just as annoying and dumb as alucard and trevor. she dropped a castle she didn’t understand on the ground and didn’t think too hard about it. then she argued about breaking it. i love her

if we don’t get an ot3, then she needs to have a dumb gf

alucard

he's got a stupidly low neckline and lower pants. they really leaned into ayami kojima’s redesign, as they should have. his little curl annoys me, though. why the fuck does he have a random section of hair that’s like three inches long when the rest is shoulder length or longer? love that he really looks like lisa

if you say he's canonically bisexual and polyamorous, no he isn't. yes he is. no he isn't :)

trevor

disgusting. a nasty man whose appearance mirrors his state of mind. he's 50 mental illnesses in a dirty jacket and his coping mechanism is… alcohol? maybe? he’s a mess, and i dig it

him trying his trick of kneeing alucard in the balls during their fight? and finding out it doesn't work? (which…… why doesn't it……?) juvenile but suitable

hector

his love of animals makes him my favorite. normally, i won’t touch anything with this much animal death, but i’m willing to set that aside because hector loves them so much. he’s so sweet and kind, and he loves his monster pets

yes he sided with dracula and has some really fucked up ideas about what constitutes humane treatment of people, and yet i love him. 11/10, but i have a lot of notes

isaac

i support him, including his murdering and his decision to support dracula. dracula throwing him out of the castle to save him was so cruel in that it was an attempt at kindness from a man who hated the whole world, but it was against isaac’s wishes

his time with the captain was great

idk enough about islam to know if he's portrayed correctly and haven’t seen any complaints, but given the show’s track record……… i wouldn’t be surprised if it’s not great

the forging

very cool. fresh and interesting! hector creating pet friends is cute and heartbreaking. love isaac for his dedication to reducing, reusing, and recycling

season 2’s big battle with all those vampires

the new version of “bloody tears” is phenomenal

this goes back to the animation, but listen……. it's so good. i loved the smoke vampire, and alucard’s fluid wolf transformations. his flying sword looked really good, and incorporating them together? super good to watch. and trevor’s whip?

the type and level of violence are suitable for what it is. it would be weird for a gritty show like this to be bloodless, but i don't think it would work if it were bloody to the extent of a slasher. it's also more clean violence, if that makes sense. you don’t linger just to look at gore; you see it because stabbing someone spills blood. the games weren't about extended, gritty scenes of realistic murder, so the show sticking with quick, slice and dice type fights fit with what i remembered of them

please watch this fight if you don’t remember it or haven’t seen it (part 1, part 2)

trevor’s whips

trevor’s weapons don’t follow the physics of normal whips, and they shouldn't. they’re heavily stylized and clearly a fantasy weapon, but they still have rules that they (mostly) have to obey. his morning star-whip hybrid in particular is so good

it’s easy to follow, too. a lot of times, speedy weapons disappear, which is an understandable effect but one i find boring because there’s nothing for me to do. i’m just sitting on my ass with nothing to do

trevor’s whips don’t disappear. they’re fast, but you can always see them. and they have weight! you can see them slow down and gain speed. i don’t need physics to be real; i want movement to be pleasing, and that’s exactly what i get with the whips

don’t like:

fridging lisa

she could have been kidnapped (possibly make dracula think she was dead bc people want to lure out her scary demon husband, idk), then s2 could have ended with her and dracula reuniting as he died. she and alucard go on a trip together to attempt to make amends for the pain dracula wrought in lisa’s name. orrrr she dies a tragic death with him and we’re left to hope that they find each other in the afterlife. do vampires get to go to the afterlife? can alucard reintegrate? can he be happy with his new friends? or will he go back to his crypt and sleep again? will he ever be rediscovered? if so, what will he do? deep questions. i would prefer to cogitate on these instead of experiencing the shitshow that is s3

season 3

they should have ended it with dracula’s death. the quality of storytelling goes down immediately. just plummets. i’m sure there were problems in the first two seasons, but this one is so bad, i genuinely can’t remember

but i may as well get specific, so here we go:

abandoning alucard

trevor and sypha leave their friend alone in his childhood home where he just killed his father. where they helped him kill his father who, as i’ve said too many times, raised literal hell to get revenge for people burning alucard’s mother to death

yt they don’t talk about alucard. they don’t make any plans to touch base ever again. trevor’s entire family got killed. sypha’s culture, from which she’s now estranged, is family-centric. if ever two people should give a shit about alucard and know why alucard shouldn’t be left on his own, it's them

so what the hell is going on?

trevor and sypha’s relationship

look. it could be good. it would be better with alucard but they could be together and it could work fine

but this……….

trevor hates what they're doing. he hates traveling around and fighting. he's clearly tired and deeply depressed

sypha not only doesn't care enough to address it (did they forget the first two seasons?? sypha is annoying partly because she doesn't stop poking people) she might not even notice? yes, she's having fun, but trevor is basically dead on his feet in front of her

racism

hector, sumi, and taka all got done dirty

sumi and taka

i hate the way they died. i hate that i’m certain that the plot won’t bring japan back into the narrative (or if it does, i don’t trust it not to be shitty). i hate the fact that by killing them off, i’m not going to get any more of them. they were interesting!!

speaking of the japanese vampire: the biphobia, arguably, given what happens with alucard

the addition of sexual violence

i don’t need or want lenore. if all she’d done was manipulate hector, i could have lived with that. she’s a villain, so she does bad things. that’s the point. but what she did was a massive escalation. we hadn’t had any sexual violence, and then the last few episodes gave us

tumblr feminists who love her for how she treated hector need to be quarantined until their brain worms have been cured

everything that happens to hector

what was this shit? why did i open my netflix app and tap castlevania and find them making this man walk around naked in the cold to torture him? and starving him? he got manipulated, degraded, chained up, collared like an animal, and raped. and why? to show us how bad lenore is? that the other vampires are bad because they let her do it? i didn’t sign up for this

the holocaust reference

the imagery at the end of s3 when it’s revealed that the judge has been killing people he’s decided are undeserving to live and collecting their shoes in that barn was chillingly close to images of shoes taken from victims of the holocaust. there's no reason to invoke the holocaust here. it’s unnecessary and in bad taste

#asks #anonymous #long post #anti-castlevania netflix #i guess #cw rape #cw holocaust mention #cw racism #cw holocaust #all of these are tags i didn't anticipate using on my stupid sideblog #i'll probably find a bunch of typos in like 12 hours rip me #but i feel bad for taking so long

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