#they truly!!! did that i am shaking
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ever since I was a little girl I knew I would be ostracized from my peers and, by accident and without knowing why, cultivate a life for myself in which I don't know how to interact with other people in any capacity without being supremely uncomfortable and self-conscious.
#i just. yknow.#that thing about how peers at school knew you were autistic before you did#like i truly think everyone knew something was different and wrong with me just. intrinsically.#and then it became a self-fulfilling prophecy#because people didnt hang out with me so i didnt learn people skills#so now i dont know how to have friends and am really bad at it because i never learned#so now social situations are always uncomfortable and i dont want to put myself in them and no one wants to interact with the girl-#who's just sitting there not saying anything with the resting heart rate of a shaking chihuahua.
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concept: the black dog but it's stevetony
#emily talks#-old woman shakes fist at cloud-#it's so funny bc there are some creators on here that i admire and i would message about this but to them i am a nobody#no one remembers that i used to be an a-list stevetony stan#i came up with dodger rogers (zoe did actually but that was us collectivly)#and beard!steve??? remember when we came up with beard steve#truly iconic#stony
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girlies who call the student loan company to discuss their payments despite the scaries are literally so brave it’s me I’m girlies
#personal#genuinely my hands were shaking but guess what I did it I Got It Done !! despite!! DESPITE!!!!#and on my lunch!!! during a work day!!! and a busy one at that!!!! of all things!!!#truly embodying the do it scared do it shaky do it anxious as hell but do it energy#plus not only did I do it but like. I tried yesterday and panicked about it and they were CLOSED#and anyone with adhd knows how hard it is to do something at a later time when the first attempt already required so many spoons and do much#effort just to be able to try in the first place#but despite!!! I did it again today and this time was able to discuss w them!!! aaaaa!!!!! strength of a coursing river etc etc fr fr#another instance of holy shit thank you medication because while part of this was legit me part of it was also the meds because whoooo boy.#anyways I am genuinely so !!
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Staring down that weird feeling of feeling like too much or out of place or annoying if I say too much or say things too loud or too off-putting to be like- WANTED in any given social situation. To try so hard to socialize just to- idk. I’d very much like to stop defaulting to that scared kid that was pushed away or talked over until I got old enough and desperate enough to say any and every rapid fire thought that comes to mind. Like filling space when there’s dead air then wondering if maybe I did the Too Much™️ thing again and A. Scared everyone away or B. Pushed everyone away so it would hurt less when they leave BC of A.
Of feeling like I need to be useful or smart or talented or pretty or SOMETHING worthwhile so people want me around. I can just be but then it’s like just being has never been enough for anyone to like- stay. Or care. Running is always a mistake bc it’s like riiiight.. no one noticed you ran, babe. You’re not even at the top of their list people to want around. And just feel so low about it that I talk myself into feeling miserable again.
I’m happy, ive been so much happier lately and i dont take it for granted bc it’s so rare that things go okay or that there’s a sense of peace for a moment. I’m creating again and im less hard on myself about it. I have hobbies again, I’m making friends. And still I’m like seeing the other foot start to drop in real time bc it’s like. You’re in, but are you? That constant nagging voice that sounds so much like my own going “lonely again? Good you deserve it”
#me: there’s time..#also me: THERES NO TIME#now see the thing they don’t tell you about taking lexapro is that you’ll have the motivation and energy to reinvest in hobbies when you’ve#been in depression hell for so long#also thank god it makes the excessive worry thoughts thiiiiiis loud 👌#like nooo babe there’s time#there’s always time if I’m okay with the crushing feeling of splitting my attention TOO much that I don’t connect with either fandom#that’s spooky#shaking and screaming like ‘don’t look at the notes it doesn’t matter’#and it truly doesn’t#sigh#I just keep coming back to that Brennan/hank green clip#where Brennan is talking about feeling like you just /dont/ belong even tho u did commit to trying you’ll always have that scared little#kid at the back of your mind with no friends reconfirming that no one likes you#I don’t know..#in theory people like me#but /i/ can never be normal about it#and I keep like.. I dunno#it’s tough spending your whole life never being the one people seek out#never the one that people WANT to hear talk#constantly feeling like too much and wondering if I should pull back#for people to get weirded out when I pull back#it’s exhausting#and it’s lonely#and even after 24 years I’m still the same insecure kid talking in the group chat while everyone else is silent#like am I too much am I too desperate#even like talking to my mom- who’s opinion of me truly doesn’t matter anymore just constantly interrupt me or talk over me#or ignore me so I’m repeating myself over and over just to give up#personal#fuck
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honestly the basic way I can say it about Vesperia's dub is that like... it doesn't sound that bad when it's all you know for context, but then when you just hear it in the original context (not even also having the original context, but hearing it), you realize just how much tone they changed.
it all makes sense in the dub because of the context they changed to make the tone fit with it, but when you hear the original tone, suddenly the dub context starts losing its foundation. basically the only way, in some cases, the vocal tones work in the dub is because they changed the context itself, and changing context/meaning/the message of what's being said is just a HUGE no-no for me.
I've probably mentioned this before but most of the contextual changing happened with Yuri. in a lot of cases for me like with Raven and Karol I much prefer the original delivery and that's a preference, and in some cases there were little to no changes (primarily the first and second visit to Dahngrest were mostly the same). a lot of them just center around Yuri and given that he's my baby boy, I'm just naturally set off by it lol.
#GTF Vesperia Localization Woes#mainly posting this in response to some followers' interest#but it's like. I can't even go back now. and I'm really sad that they did this bc#obviously that's what ppl in the west will play. it's only reasonable that they'd want to play dubbed#so when a dub deliberately changes stuff it just comes off as malicious to me#especially in the case of Yuri and Flynn where they make Yuri so randomly angry at him for NO reason#when they met at Nor Yuri was just... super casual and relaxed. he wasn't even angry#for some reason the dub went from having him talk constantly about Flynn to just ??? being so angry?#like the idea is that they start at 100 and wane and get back to 100#but the dub was like... zero to a hundred. angry and then Hypionia happens#and I think BECAUSE of the way they changed the context it makes sense#and I know I said I'm working on my post(s) about the JP run but let me TELL you#I am making the Nordopolica port scene ITS OWN POST bc that was to me the worst case of context editing#it was framed as Yuri being aggressive and angry and not utterly heartbroken with a shaking voice#and honestly? I think that was what truly cemented me hating what the loc did with Yuri
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Miserable, horrible, I hate throwing upppp
#Tmi in the tags#I am laying on the couch now with a bucket by my head just in case#But truly nothing feels quite so pathetic like sitting on the toilet with a bucket in your lap#Cold sweat and shaking#I usually try to avoid throwing up at all costs. This time i wasn't fully opposed bc you're supposed to feel better after right?#I guess I feel better in the sense that I'm not immediately nauseous upon moving#But my stomach is still cramping and the undercurrent of nausea remains#So I'm laying here and sipping bitter tea that's supposed to calm the stomach#Wallowing in my misery by myself#I don't even know what caused it!!! Was it smth I ate? Did I catch a stomach bug? Why didn't it start earlier???#Anyway as usual when I'm sick. I want my mum#I'm so tired#Personal
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first day of prozac 🤪🤪🤪
#don't look at me#help truly#i’ve had a migraine am nauseous and have simply forgotten to eat like all day#did not remember until i was literally shaking and then even after eating an nauseous now#we truly hate to see it
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a;dkaljfioqehfhqwal you though english is my first language? Fr? Wow that a best compliment to my studies and HUUUUUGE ego boost lmaoooo X)
Also thanks stars with cowboy\cowgirl i was worried for a sec which term will work XD Love u dearest moot /p
I FR SAT THERE STUNNED BECAUSE YOUR ENGLISH WAS THAT GOOD. I JUST ALWAYS ASSUMED??? I MEAN, LIKE YOU'RE SO FLUENT???? AND I ABSOLUTELY MEAN IT WHEN I SAY HOW COOL THAT IS.
ALSO YOU'RE VERY WELCOME WITH THE COWBOY/COWGIRL THING MDKSSOSSLWLW
AND I LOVE YOU MY DEAREST MOOT AS WELL /P
AM HUGGING YOU LOTS. AND I MEAN A WHOLE LOT.
#TWAY-LA MY BELOVED MOOT#YOU ARE AMAZING#AND I TRULY DO MEAN THAT#SHAKING YOU SHAKING YOU SHAKING YOU#AGAIN I DID NOT REALIZE YOU WERE BILINGUAL#NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I THINK ABOUT IT#I AM STILL SHOCKED#asks
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what's a really unfortunate discovery in my life in the last two years is that my boss told me i was racing against my beeper counting seconds last year and confiscated it (secret skill unlocked: can count to fifteen seconds in your head with extreme accuracy) and i'm like he cannot be for real with this, how do you Race Time. and then i play guitar against a metronome and You'll Never Fucking Guess What My Fatal Flaw Is
#'roo are you subconciously racing the metronome' YES I AM AND I'M BAFFLED#HOW did this man watch a horse gallop through a pair of binoculars and know that i am locked in mortal combat with the passage of time#truly insane#anyway we're uh. gonna get better at yknow. letting beats pass.#i think as with horse riding i play music more accurately without the metronome#or possibly i just do whatever i like#i distinctly remember my violin teacher never being able to change the way the uhhhhhh what do you call ems#the one concerto i had i just decided how it sounded and that's how it was and were my notes all a consistent length? pfff no#it sounds good though#oh that's the other thing i never got to do like level testing or whatever for any instrument ever?#but i randomly found out last year that i was at least like intermediate like halfway through the levels or whatever for violin?#false advertising i keep telling people i learnt nothing in eight years#but also can i technically pull off a 3 page concerto? yes. do my hands shake so much my bow sometimes jumps on the strings? yes.#anyway this seemed like a funny story for the masses#get to know you time with roo
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on day 5 artemy and daniil go to the bar at noon and talk at each other like this
#LMAO not in any way thats like theyre having a disagreement and cant get through to each other#just that the whole convo was just both of them going on their own train of thought ramblings and not reacting to the other in any way#and it made me laugh#also im assuming that me doing the infected organ testing in time now is the reason i got this dialogue and if thats so#is it truly so that if you get this dialogue at the bar daniil doesnt offer you his bed when you give him the blood later?????#that moment is so relevant to my life so this is honestly devastating even if the dialogue is otherwise the exact same#(but '... are you a mind reader?' 'sometimes. a bit.' still has me shaking and crying)#ALSO one thing that is so delightful abt actually progressing the panacea quest in a timely manner is that you get at least this#one extra dialogue with sticky. i didnt know it existed so i always thought oh its such a shame that stickys bond with artemy doesnt get#nearly as much development as murkys and yeah obv its still not AS elaborate/dramatic but just this one extra dialogue#rlly gives you the impression that he is becoming something like artemys anchor#and i just know the 'youre never home' line will hit even harder this time!#hhhh next is the scariest part of attempting this no death playthrough aka second night of protecting rubin#im pretty sure you dont have to do these night quests to save him but i want to lmao what am i trying to prove#the 1st one went kind of okay. now i have 4 bandages for this 2nd one and last time i did it first try with no bandages so 🤞 pls go well
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GIVING THEM A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET
꒰warnings꒱ not proofread…:3
⠀꒲ ` synopsis . . . how would your significant other react when you give them a friendship bracelet made by your own kind hands?
⠀꒲ ` characters . . . diluc, kazuha, kokomi, scaramouche, heizou, itto, cyno, lyney, lynette, freminet, furina, neuvillette, navia, ga ming, chiori, arlecchino
⠀꒲ ` notes . . . this reminded of primary school days of making randomly coloured loom band bracelets…sniffles, the good ol’ days of giving your crush bundled up daisies that had bugs on them from the schools yard and then immediately running away (i am a lesbian i had no such experience in just talking for the sake of poetry ☆〜(ゝ。∂)
R. DILUC — 迪卢克
“what’s this, my love?” he cautiously surveyed the tiny strings and charms with a shocked yet rather satisfied expression. so this is what you were so focused on for the last couple hours…? he can’t help but feel slightly relieved that instead of wasting away at work you were merely crafting a cutely childish gift for him.
“it’s a friendship bracelet! look, i even managed to find these cute strawberry charms for you.” you laughed and start fiddling with the short strands near his scalp, fiddling with them and folding them over to create a stem-like shape.
diluc softly exhaled in amusement, wrapping the small piece of jewellery around his already bedazzled wrist. it takes him a real good second to actually realise what you just said. awkwardly coughing into his hand, diluc catches your attention, “darling, you do realise we’re married?”
a smile possesses your face as you hook your arm with his. “of course i do! i just thought it’d be cute, you know?” he smiled in response.
diluc is no stranger to friendship bracelets. after all, him and kaeya used to make those for each other all the time. sometimes that young triplet consisting of a very dedicated jean, a shy kaeya and a mischievous diluc (sometimes a cutsey barbara who tried to eat the beads) would gather together to create and exchange such bracelets.
a tradition that diluc might’ve let go of but had never forgotten. when you go to sleep at night diluc immediately places your bracelet into a drawer where he kept all of the ones from his childhood.
K. KAZUHA — 枫原万叶
“is this a friendship bracelet? that’s very considerate of you, my love.” kazuha tilts your chin to press a feather-light kiss onto your lips, his touch so tender it was like being touched by sunlight itself. “but i thought we were passed our journey of friendship?” his hand travel down to your hips. squeezing them intently to bring you close to his flowery scent.
“or do i need to remind you that we’re lovers?” taking your hand in his, kazuha leaned his head down to press his lips against your knuckles, eyes peeking through his bangs as if to entice you. and, well, of course it did. kazuha knew just a simple glance at you paired with an affectionate grin was enough to lure you into loving his arms.
kazuha didn’t expect for a piece of handmade jewellery consisting of maple leaf charms with red string to become so sentimental to him, but it was only a matter of time till the bracelet helped become an engraved memory of you. he’d kiss it each time you were apart, hold it up against moonlight while stargazing, trying to illustrate your figure within a constellation.
wandering became more exciting. he’d get to slowly part from your lips, while still having a perpetual reminder of the love you shared with a few pieces of strings tied to his wrist alone.
kazuha, though content with this, always secretly craved to hear the sound of your voice as you called his name and reached out to him. however, within his life he’s learned one thing that has truly stood out; it’s the small things in life that mirror true beauty.
S. KOKOMI — 珊瑚宫心海
“your excellency? what is that on your wrist?” gorou tilted his head curiously, his ears twitching in tandem.
“hm? oh, this?” she shakes the coral coloured bracelet, making the beads and fish charms jingle excitedly as if they were jumping within sea waves. “haha, [name] gave it to me. it’s a friendship bracelet!” kokomi shows it off with pride, a flutter of flapping fins hit her ribcage in the form of her beating heart at the prospect of people seeing the deepness of your ocean-depth bond with just a few beads on a string.
burnout is utterly debilitating. as kokomi spends only a few minutes in her recluse corner within watatsumi, even the shimmering of pearls and the quiet sound of the shore isn’t enough to bring her fragmented energy to rest. nesting her head upon the bundled arms that laid carefully on her desk, she attempted to snooze. finding that she can just barely flutter her curled eyelashes close before an unbearable ache pinches her eyebrows into a knot.
feeling defeated, kokomi sits back up and taps her fingers absentmindedly on the wood, finding just a tiny bit of solace in the sound of clicking and clacking. wait…she quickly glanced at her wrist, noticing she completely forgot to take off her bracelet when preforming her duties. despite her fatigue, kokomi can’t help but exhale a smile. calloused fingers tweezing the bubbly fish charms in an attempt for stimuli that wasn’t so agonising.
she’s so glad she has you, even if that memory of you is withheld in something children share for an intended promise of foreverness.
SCARAMOUCHE — 斯卡拉姆齐
“are you twelve?“ scaramouche raises his eyebrows at you with a sneer, a look of either disgust or confusion on his face. “if i didn’t know any better, i’d say you were mocking me.”
“you’re short but not kid short!” you retorted to appease him, rolling your eyes at his annoying theatrics. did he really have to be so bitchy all the time? i guess when people say that short people tend to be the most angry because all that wrath is bottled into such a teeny body it’s very true…
the friendship bracelets (yes you made two!) were a representation of his journey from the malicious “balladeer” to the slightly less malicious and more so bittersweet wanderer. a contradicting colour palette yet his frosty and asshole attitude remained the same no matter what hue of the rainbow he was dipped in (should’ve been named skittle not scaramouche).
“if you don’t like it that much you don’t have to wear it, it’s not like i’m forcing you.” a pang of disappointed squeezed your chest heavily. it would’ve been fine if he just threw it away after a week or so. you would’ve been extremely hurt yes, but it’s better than having your own lover reject a handmade gift without even a thought for your feelings.
seeing your frown lines and the way your eyebrows scrunched together, scaramouche sighed and immediately snatched the bracelets back. quickly covering them over his wrist and crossing his arms over his chest defiantly. “i never said i wouldn’t wear it, stop being whiny.”
the slight embarrassment he felt was worth every stroke of blush on his cheeks if it meant he could see you smile brightly at something so childish.
S. HEIZOU — 鹿野院平藏
“it’s not our anniversary.” heizou stated simply.
“nope.”
“neither of our birthdays.”
“nope.”
“not a special achievement either.”
“nope.”
“alright, love, spill. what’s the occasion, hm? just in the mood to spoil me with your affections?” heizou threw his hands up in defeat. not being able to use his detective experience into deciphering why you decided to be so cute today and bless his otherwise uneventful day.
carefully, you wrapped the bracelet around his eager wrist. “no occasion~ just felt like giving you a friendship bracelet to show my love for you.” he raises an eyebrow. leaning to your eye level, heizou procures a look of confused distaste at your seemingly innocent admission. “friendship?” he looks away dejected, placing his hands on his hips. “and here i thought i was your very cool and sweet boyfriend.”
brushing away his dramatics and looping your arms around his neck to pull his pouty face in closer, you retaliate. “oh hush, you’re still my lovely dramatic boyfriend.” heizou smirked and leaned in impossibly close, his breath tickling your soft skin generously.
“then, could you show your love for me in another way too?” begrudgingly, you caved. moulding your lips with his while his hands gradually situated themselves on your hips. a chuckle escapes his occupied mouth, leaving a tingling feeling down your spine as you pull away, a bright smirk on his face. “thanks for the bracelet, baby~ i’ll be sure to wear it as my lucky charm during investigations!”
A. ITTO — 荒泷一斗
“well of course you’d want to bless the almighty arataki itto with such a gift! i humbly accept your offering~” itto sways a thumbs up, tongue rolling across his pointy teeth in an extravagant display of confident hubris. all in vain, of course. no amount of bravado could dull the charming blush on his cheeks; the way his grin hoisted into a genuine smile of gratitude or the way his eyes glistened with a familiar light; childlike wonder.
itto was never and has never been accustomed to such small things in life. honestly, he was lucky for a stranger to not throw insults, physical objects, hits, kicks, spit, and the like for his mere existence. a friendship bracelet was an event that was so far out of reach for the oni that the only thing he wanted to do right now was to kiss you stupid.
but, he couldn’t. he stood still, twiddling with the beads that nested against his wrist with a haze that was absentminded you felt like tapping him would cause a bubble to burst above his head for water to splash him awake.
the word “friend” doesn’t even register into his brain. he’s too content with the knowledge that your bond meant something to you. that he meant something to you.
you’ve never seen itto so quiet before. he’s usually this giant (literally) ball of energy that bounces around the place and shares an infectious attitude of confidence and joy with no restraint even to the most stoic, but right now, it was like he was that small vulnerable child again given a chance at redemption for simply living.
CYNO — 赛诺
cyno tilts his head to the side as he stares with pinched brows at the weaved threads of purple and yellow beads and charms that you held in front of you with a delicate hand. “what’s the bracelet for?”
“it’s a friendship bracelet!” taking the initiative, you wrap the bracelet around his relatively small wrist and watch in awe as it seems to match his palette perfectly. perhaps not his personality, but maybe if he wore this around regularly people wouldn’t be so frightened by his frozen features.
cyno went quiet for a moment, a look of confusion on his face. a look that made you shrink in shame. did he not like it? was something wrong with it? is it too childish for someone with such an esteemed status? all such baseless thoughts get immediately dispelled once cyno’s lips curl into a subtle grin, his eyes narrowing devilishly.
you’ve often seen this look when he’s about to score a rewarding win in a tcg tournament. but, he also had this look when…fuck. you sigh in defeat and simply let him say it. “why did the friendship bracelet break up with its partner?”
“…ha. why?”
“because it felt tied down.”
you know how in animes when someone says something very fucking stupid, it’s like the world echoes with silence to allow the person to truly feel the embarrassment from their words? you hoped that’s what cyno felt when you blank stared him with a thin line for your lips, hands clenching and unclenching as you fought the urge to squeeze his cheeks together.
“do you get it?” he asks, but before he can ramble about the absolutely articulate construction of his pun, you spring into action and press your lips passionately on his. of course, he replies eagerly. enjoying the clicking of the beads hitting together as his hand made it’s swift, instinctive movement to your waist.
LYNEY — 林尼
“mon ange…is this for me?” lyney smiles gently at you, sneaking the red bracelet onto his wrist. unable to take his away from the fine craftsmanship and the adorable details of hats, doves and some card charms. knowing you thought of him so directly and so in depth made his heart flutter the same way a dove’s wings expand after being liberated from a cooped cage.
“of course it is, it’s a friendship bracelet!” you clasp your hands behind your back, awaiting either his praise or his teasing — whatever he was in the mood for more. despite the happiness that surged through his heart like a bad game of throw the dart, believe me you shot him hard in the feels, lyney frowns.
“but, mon chéri…” he sighs in despair, a theatric hand over the very heart you had gripped tightly in your hand with a mere few beads of coloured wax. “i haven’t gotten a gift for you, i feel rather ashamed of myself.”
“don’t worry about that, this is just meant to be my good luck charm for you during your shows and…” your voice trailed off to him. not because he was uninterested but because he loved the buzzing sound of your melodic syllables each time your lips opened.
“ah, my dear,” lyney paused your affectionate rambles politely, “you’ve got something here…” you tilt your head to the side quizzically and await for him to point at it or take it out. he grins wildly. “well, isn’t that cute?” lyney chuckles softly and while leaning suuuper close to your ear, ‘magically’ pulls out a rainbow rose from seemingly no where.
“it seems we’re even now, hm?” he gestures, handing the rose over with a wink, leaving a cheeky kiss to your jawline in gratitude.
LYNETTE — 琳妮特
knowing lynette’s character and demeanour intricately, you’re aware that grand gestures aren’t at all her thing. she can barely handle a tea time conversation with someone if she’s forced to play an active role.
the bracelet sat enclosed within your palm as you rambled on about your day to lynette, feeling an unshakable amount of anxiety vomiting into your gut for no reason but overthinking. you’ve been avoiding giving her this bracelet for a week now in fear she’ll find very little value or use in something so minimal.
“you have something you want to give me.” a phrase intended as a question, but said more so as a statement.
“i…uh, how did you know?” you laugh and play with the strings of the bracelet cautiously as to not break it.
“your eyebrows are furrowed and you keep glancing away from me.” she analyses you like a real robot…i guess she’s really committed to that bit. either that or she just loves you too much that being unable to read your expressions would be a grievous sin on her part.
with a sigh of defeat, you slide over the bracelet to her with an awkward smile paling your usually joyous lips. “i made a friendship bracelet for you…thought it’d be cute.” lynette doesn’t understand people around her a majority of the time. truly, she doesn’t even want to, it’s not like she needs to either since she has her brother to leech on and others to fool with her robotic party trick and yet, she can’t help but wonder why it is you choose to defend yourself over something so sweet.
“thank you, it’s cute. i’ll wear it for my next show if i’m able to.” her lips curve upward in what to most would seem like a twenty degree uplift, but to you, it meant quite literally everything.
FREMINET — 菲���尼
nothing. no amount of experiences with his interactions with people could’ve prepared him for the absolute heart attack that was this gesture.
he loved it, too much. he wishes he could just dip back into the ocean depths. indulge in a meaningless conversation with the tidalga, or even express his feelings of adoration to you to pers. but currently, it was only you two sharing a humble moment together. no person he could lean in, no space he could rush the words he’d love to say to you in gratitude for the gift.
and you knew that. and that’s what he also loved about you. how willing you were to accept and love him even with him being less socially adept than a coral reef. feeling the cool and vibrant coloured bracelet tilt around his wrist and knot in place, he smiled wobbly.
between the silence, you knew that the quiet smile and nod meant more than his stammered and hushed words could ever express. leaning in to press a kiss to the side of his wrist and cheek, freminet manages to gulp a bit of courage and swallow his static and tingly anxiety, reaching to kiss your forehead. letting his lips linger momentarily before he backed away. “thank you…”
FURINA — 芙宁娜
heartbeat pounding in her ears. eyes narrowing into puffy circles. her bottom lip bitten brutally by her gnashing teeth. hands shaky, making her teacup tremble within her grip. why were you glaring at her so intensely?!
first the invitation for a tea party with only you two as the special guests. second the ominous letter claiming you two “need to talk.” and now, you were completely quiet and calmly snacking, drinking away several blends of tea without a word! it was absolutely ridiculous to think the one person she has entrusted her still mending heart with is ignoring all the clear signs of hesitance and vulnerabilities within the relationship despite them all being initiated by them!
“so, furina.” you clasp your hands together, an impish look transforming your usually peaceful face. her heartbeat stammers as her eyes meet yours in a tender glance. “uhm..yeah?” furina attempts to appear more courageous than she is, but truly, she’s shitting it (for lack of a better term).
the silence stretched on for too long before you giggled and pulled up a blue and white toned bracelet from your sleeves, shaking it with your fingertips with a kind smile. “i made you a friendship bracelet!”
a ghost wavered out of her frightened soul, the tea in her hand put down at this point so she can savour the comforting feeling of her head in her hands. being a gorgeous, shining star in the spotlight of fontaine’s grand stage, furina isn’t a secondhand stranger to gifts. whether they’ve been given to her personally, awkwardly, silently, with no words signed or a creepy letter attached expressing their reverence.
she wishes you’d sometimes go that route instead of matching her in these theatrics! begrudgingly, despite the little flutter in her heart, she slipped the bracelet onto her wrist and looked at you with a pout that you couldn’t help but lean in to kiss.
NEUVILLETTE — 那维莱特
neuvillette hums a tune along to the orchestra of the vinyl. an accompanying sound of his pen hastily itching onto the paper adding to the rhythm. his door opens and while he’d normally remain quietly focused on his piling paperwork, he recognised this particular patter of footsteps coming towards him. you.
smiling habitually and peering his head up, neuvillette greeted you lovingly. “hello, my love. what brings you here today? did you get in trouble?” he knew the reason you’d come ushering into his office was hardly with the intention of getting him to aid you with your troublesome quarrels, but rather, you just wanting his love and affection that he was more than willing to fulfil. if time allowed, of course.
“no, no. nothing like that, yet…” you grinned and neuvillette looked at you with a playful look of disappointment at the hesitance. “i made you a gift!” with a prideful aura that was less arrogance and more pure joy, you presented the bracelet to him. he wasted no time in stirring the small bundle of fabric and beads with his gloves. “look,” you pointed eagerly, “i even managed to commission some furina and melusine charms! you know how we always joke about them being like our children? i thought i’d be a cute addition!”
he exhaled a satisfactory laugh in agreement, interlocking your hand in his to press a kiss to your knuckles in thanks. “cute, indeed. thank you, mon chéri. you’re too sweet sometimes.” you sit on the edge of his desk, watching excitedly as he places the bracelet onto his wrist. “as a gift in return, after i’m done with work, how about we take a nice stroll together? i assure you, no rain will interrupt our serenity so long as you’re by my side.”
NAVIA — 娜维娅
immediately gushes at you as your palm opens to present the gold and blue hued bracelet to her, adorned with rose charms that you personally painted in gold and a greyish blue to accentuate her outfit if she decides to wear it. it was less a decision and more a necessity.
she delicately handled the bracelet onto her wrist and kissed both of your cheeks in gratitude, “thank you so much, sweetheart! this is so cute…but what’s the occasion? it’s not our anniversary or anything like that.” navia smiled at you, playing with some of the little roses and twirling them around in appreciation.
“it’s a friendship bracelet!”
her lips pucker into a pout as she starts to coddle you within her arms, occasionally swinging you around gently. “you’re so absolutely adorable!” she nips at your earlobe, kissing it as a form of apology. “but honey, you do know we aren’t just friends right?” navia captures your cheeks within her palms. “we’re lovers!” she presses several kisses across your face, ending her affectionate spillage with a press of her lips on yours.
“oops— haha, sorry i got lipstick all over you, darling.” navia chuckled and began wiping away all the lipstick smudges from your pretty face. yet her attempts bore no fruit. instead of wiping away anything, she only made it oh so much worse. “ah well, guess we both got presents from one another today?” she snickers, twirling her wrist to show off the bracelet with a wink.
GA MING — 嘉明
if you thought this man’s eyes couldn’t get any brighter, then you’re absolutely dead wrong. if you thought he could jump high while lion dancing, you’re also absolutely dead wrong!
he could outrun god right now. if you asked him to defeat a hoard of lined up mondstadt and liyue treasure hoarders, he’d do it in a heartbeat. what possessed you to be so cute?! do you seriously think he can take another heart attack like this after the one he had during lantern rite?
you aren’t able to say much or even explain your reasons for as to why you decided to make this nor what it even is or represents before ga ming smacks his lips messily all over your face. a mixture of your own gloss from kissing you earlier and his own saliva stick to your skin sloppily and you can’t help but feel both enamoured and grossly repulsed at the mixture of sticky wetness on your cheeks as well as the love that seemed to glow like fireworks.
“mmuah~! i love you so much…are you trying to make me cry?” he pouts, becoming a giggling mess as soon as you roll your eyes at his dramatics.
he keeps the bracelet on every day. sometimes he’ll be pouty all day if he’s unable to wear it in fear of it snapping and wasting away all your precious hard work due to either his negligence or the pains of manual labour…he’ll have to cope with simply glancing at the red imprints the beads had left intended onto his skin for satisfaction.
CHIORI — 千织
“what is this?” she jingles the vivid and strong orange coloured bracelet in front of her face, appreciating the tiny details of the cute sewing equipment charms and what looked to be handmade porcelain bows embedded onto some beads.
“it’s a friendship bracelet!” you gleam at her, pride evident in your face at your creation. she hums in agreement; it was certainly something alright.
“oh. cute.” that’s all the genuine feedback she could give you without mentioning how tacky it would look with her attire — it was an affectionate gesture, one which she didn’t want to undermine and therefore, with little complaint despite her own personal conflicts, she slipped the bracelet onto her wrist, extending her hand out and twirling it to admire the craftsmanship.
you won’t see her actively wearing it out in every day life, perhaps you’ll manage to sneak a glimpse of her playing with the beads while she’s going over some designs in her sketchbook but otherwise, her gloved hands contain nothing but the smell of perfume.
not that she’d admit it outright until you asked, but the real reason she refuses to wear your bracelet daily is for a simple reason; she doesn’t want it to break in order to have that constant reminder of you as she goes to bed and stares up at her ceiling with the bracelet being coddled between her fingertips.
ARLECCHINO — 阿蕾奇诺
“you’re so childish.” she muses, tracing her nails across the beads, eliciting a weird clacking sound as the charms and beads hit against each other. “but i suppose that’s also an alluring aspect to you.” she ushers the bracelet onto her wrist. despite it being completely covered, there was something even more intimate about her gift being a part of a hidden identity for her; your affection only intended for your gorgeous eyes and her narrowed ones.
tilting your head to her eye-level, you can smell her musky perfume. she leaned in for a kiss. her lips tasting like flavoured gloss consisting of all sorts of red berries, an accurate mirror to the rosey colour of her bright lips. a sneaky hand traced circles around your hips and waist as she attempted to take your breath away. a scythe is a befitting weapon for a woman who’s kiss was practically a notion for death.
she’s used to her children offering gifts and trinkets to her. rocks, random jewellery they crafted with glue, messy crayon drawings, sometimes even in the most macabre scenarios, blood itself. each of those, however, she cherished wholeheartedly. the same way she’d cherish the bond between you two that she’d never allow for anyone to break.
so long as she continuously receives silly gestures like this, she’s convinced she’ll be able to hold you within her embrace with very little effort.
©STARYUEE do not copy, steal or repost ♡ ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ɪʜᴇᴀʀᴛɢᴀɴʏᴜ
#i promise im not dead…psychology is just killing my ass!!!!#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin x you#genshin x gn!reader#gi x reader#diluc x reader#kazuha x reader#kokomi x reader#scaramouche x reader#wanderer x reader#scara x reader#heizou x reader#itto x reader#cyno x reader#lyney x reader#lynette x reader#freminet x reader#furina x reader#focalor x reader#neuvillette x reader#navia x reader#gaming x reader#ga ming x reader#chiori x reader#arlecchino x reader
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Bear boyfriend Toji who dreads getting sick more than the average person. He gets so grumpy during this little stunt in his health because he can't do much besides manage his harsh cough and runny nose, rest in bed and eat, but that's not even what he's most upset about. He's so pissed off that he can't be around you, unless he wants to get you sick too.
Oh, but you make it so hard on him. Walking into the room with a mug of tea with that smile that could nurse anyone back to health. You linger for longer than you should, even after he told you that if you're in there for too long, you'll get sick too. It's an annoying dilemma because on one end, watching you be sick is one of the most heart wrenching things he's ever seen. Like him, you pretend that you're fine, when really you feel so debilitated by the virus that invaded your immune system. You tell him you feel better, but your hearing is muffled and your voice is gravelly and doesn't seem to be recovering quickly. Toji sees right through it and his protective instincts kick in. He insists on doing everything necessary to get you back up and running. On the other end, he wants to see you and kiss you and just hold onto you through this horrible time he's having. He hasn't kissed you in almost three days. It really sucks that he's sick, but it's entirely unfair that you can't be near him. There is truly so much for him to be reasonably grumpy about.
"Hey, you're gonna get wrinkles on your handsome face," you say, smoothing down the crease between his eyebrows with your thumb. "Do you really want me out of here that bad?"
He sighs. Your cool hands are heaven on his burning skin. "You know I don't, ma," he croaks out, pulling your hand down from his face and holding it. "I want you here, but you can't stay."
"Baby, you lost your pretty color. You look like a zombie, but also, it's killing me to only be allowed to check on you once every hour. I think it's time I come sleep in here, again."
"No," he protests, while shaking his head. He wishes he had rethought the gesture once he's steady again. He feels like he shook his brain and his head hurts, now.
"Toji, i'm taking care of you. I'm sleeping in our bed, tonight. I'm more worried about you than I am about getting sick."
He wants to laugh at how you sound like a mother scolding her child, but he knows it'll throw him into a nasty coughing fit. He can't argue with you too much in this state. He doesn't want to argue anyway. You care and it feels nice.
"If I get sick, I get sick," you say, settling down next to him, on your side of the bed.
Toji has never been one to pull the 'woe is me' card, but when you're smothering him with so much affection and cooing at him while caressing his uncomfortably warm face, it's hard not to lean into it. You relieve his discomfort with your methods of care. Be it medicinal remedies or your extra love and affection, even your patience. You weren't the one who proposed keeping distance from him. You didn't want to sleep on the couch those last couple nights, but you did it for the sake of letting Toji be comfortable. He's your lover and you don't see a reason to avoid him, like what he has is something more fatal. His contagiousness is disregarded, because it doesn't matter.
You know he would do the same for you so you don't wrinkle your nose when he starts feeling safe enough to nuzzle into you and sluggishly kiss you, while clinging onto you. He's extra clingy, too. Your body is a lot cooler than his, so it feels nice when he rests his cheek on your chest or when his hot, clammy hands go to your arms. You don't turn away or block your face when he coughs. You rub menthol onto his reddened chest and neck, and watch as he grins dumbly when his nose clears up for a little. When he falls asleep, you stay with him, even if he doesn't wake up for the next five hours. You watch over him and only get up to grab things that are necessary, like his medicine, some water, and a damp towel to wipe the sweat off his forehead and neck.
He takes on the role of the little spoon when you take care of him. Being pampered by you makes him feel small in all the best ways. He feels protected, like you're his guardian. It's really as if the only remedy he needs is you. The expanse of your love for him is unquantifiable, but when you wrap your smaller arms around him and press featherlight kisses onto his skin, it's like a force field that blankets him.
#toji#fushiguro toji#jjk toji#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen toji#jujutsu toji#toji fushiguro#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x reader#toji x y/n#fushiguro toji x reader#toji x you#toji fluff#toji fushiguro x you#jjk fushiguro#jjk x y/n#jjk drabbles#jjk scenarios#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jjk#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen scenarios
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Big Stretch - Kenma x Reader
@luvring you cannot post a Kenma hc and think I won't find out and marinate it in my head until I have to write it
Haikyuu taglist: @lees-chaotic-brain
"Oooh, big stretch."
Kenma turns to glare at you, arms not fully extended yet. He folds in again, pouting slightly. "I'm not a cat," he says and you cock your head to the side to observe him.
"Could have fooled me." You tease.
He huffs, face growing red as he looks to the side. Oh no, did you go too far?
“Hey,” you lean in, try to catch his eye, “That was meant as a compliment. I like cats.”
He hums low in his throat, turns his amber eyes back to the paper in front of him.
“Can we just go back to work?” He asks and you nod. “Yeah, sure.”
-
“Oooh, big stretch.”
Kenma sends you a pointed glare. The guy next to him, hair dark and disheveled, chuckles low in his throat.
“Your friend?” He asks and Kenma makes it a point to shake his head exaggeratedly.
“Should I turn around so you can finish stretching?” You ask, leaning into your seat, “Or can I stay to enjoy the show.”
Red blooms on Kenma’s face as he ducks behind the collar of his shirt.
“Stop,” he whines, “There are people around.”
“Ah, young love,” the guy next to him whistles and Kenma digs an elbow into his side. “Stop it, Kuroo! I don’t even know them!”
“Liar,” you call him out, “You love me.” And though it’s said as a joke you can’t help but think that it’s more of a manifestation. If you say it often enough it will come true.
-
“Oooh, big stretch.”
Kenma huffs. He stops moving, frozen for a second before he throws his arm around you, rests his head on your shoulder and fakes the loudest snore you’ve ever heard.
“Long game, huh?” You ask, eyes finding Kuroo’s who’s got the usual knowing smirk.
“Aren’t you tired too, dear manager?” He asks.
You shake your head, heart bubbling in your chest with how close Kenma is. Even if you had been exhausted, you couldn’t be anymore, not with him cuddling into you.
Out of sight of his teammates, his ankle crosses yours.
Truly, feet-holding is so much cuter than hand-holding.
-
“Oooh, big stretch.”
Kenma blinks, sleep settling heavily into his skin. He makes grabby hands, calling you in, and even though teasing him is as necessary to you as breathing, you cannot stay away when he’s cute like this.
You settle on his lap, lean over him, hands on either side of his face as if you’re kabedon-ing him into the mattress.
“Slept well, little kitty?” You ask and he smiles, hair fanned out around his face.
Instead of answering he hooks one hand around your neck and pulls you in, his lips soft and a little chapped, writing poetry into your skin.
-
“Oooh, big stretch.”
Kenma glares, lips stretching into a pout at your words. You can tell he’s not fully done stretching yet, but he’s unwilling to stretch again just because you commented on it.
“In my defense,” you tell him, nudging his back with your socked foot, “You are napping like a cat.”
“‘m not.”
“Am too. It’s cute.”
“Your mom’s cute.”
You snicker. “I’ll tell her you said that.”
He groans. “Look away,” he says, “I need to stretch.”
“Mhm, no, I got full staring rights when you said ‘I do’.”
“Should have read the fine print.”
“Should have, yes.” You lean forward, fold yourself in a way that’s making your back ache, but now you’re face to face with him, able to press a kiss to his nose.
“Now you’re mine.”
He smiles, unable to keep up the pout, ducking his face behind his long hair.
“‘m yours.”
My Kofi if you want to tip me
#my writing#kenma x reader#kenma kozume#kenma#kenma fluff#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu x you#haikyuu drable#haikyuu x reader
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The path ahead is only uncertain because you are.
You have probably read it a million times, you control the 3D, you've also probably doubted it a million times. Why do you keep giving in to the 3D? Why do you continuously search for validation? Why do you keep asking yourself where it is?
The answer is simple, you still believe the 3D to be the true reality. You refuse to even entertain the idea that it can be wrong. "Ok but I don't have it" Says who? The 3D? The 3D is only saying it because you are.
If you never listen to another word I say listen to me now:
The reason you're struggling is because you see the physical world as immovable and final. The 3d is MALLEABLE and CANNOT exist if you do not validate it.
The SECOND you decide something is yours IT IS. STOP looking for validation from the 3D when the ONLY real validation comes from you.
Be honest with yourself is the 3D really "resisting" you or are you resisting the idea that your desire is FACT. So many people get stuck on this because they don't realize that yes, deciding you have it IS ENOUGH.
And because I get the same comment every time I tell people they already have it:
before you comment "where is it then", it isn't here because you do not hold the assumption that it is.
"Oh but I do" No. If you did truly believe you have it you would never argue with me to say that you don't.
Your subconscious will believe anything you tell it and produce proof of what you're telling it into your reality. So stop telling it you're struggling to manifest, if you say you're successful you are.
YOUR WORD IS LAW. YOUR WORD IS LAW. YOUR WORD IS LAW. YOUR WORD IS LAW YOUR WORDISLAWYOURWORDIS (I am shaking you by your shoulders.)
#loa blog#loa tumblr#loass states#loassumption#loablr#loass#loassblog#law of assumption#loass post#loa#loa manifestation#loa motivation#loa methods#loa manifesting#neville goddard#manifesation
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When Steve picks up the phone, he can hear Eddie laughing before he’s even said a word.
“What?” Steve says through a smile; he’s used to this now, phone calls that happen for no real reason. Robin had gotten him well and truly accustomed to it: months of rambling conversations—with occasional interjections from Mr Buckley, chuckling as he warned Robin that she was gonna trip over the cord.
“I need your help,” Eddie says, amusement still evident in his voice, “it’s to win an argument.”
“Oh, is that all I am to you?” Steve acts like he’s going to hang up, covering the receiver with his hand so it sounds muffled.
“No, no!” Eddie’s laughing again. “Don’t go.”
Steve removes his hand, his smile growing. “All right, jeez. What’s up?”
“Okay, back me up here ‘cause Dustin and Lucas did not believe me. There was—we had an old gym teacher, right? He, like, towered above us, man, had a moustache, like what do you call it when it’s all—”
Steve feels another wave of affection; he knows that Eddie will be unconsciously demonstrating what the moustache looks like, despite the fact that they can’t see each other.
“—uh, bristly, you know what I—?”
“Yeah,” Steve says, “Mr Wilson. Didn’t he leave a couple years ago? Super mean for no reason, dude had a stick up his—”
“Yes!” Eddie crows in triumph. “I knew you’d remember, I knew it.”
Steve shakes his head fondly—Eddie’s making it sound far more impressive than it actually is, like he’s just sunk the winning shot or something. Like Eddie has an unshakeable belief in him.
“God, he was the worst. He was the one that was obsessed with cross-country, right—”
“Oh, Jesus Christ, yeah,” Eddie says. “It was actually scary. I swear he got some kinda evil kick out of it whenever it rained, like he’d hope we drowned out there or—”
Steve makes a vague hum of agreement; there’s a flash of the familiar in Eddie’s words, the memory of mud and rain against his skin. And…
“Shit, didn’t you…? Did you fall one time, I remember you limping?”
Steve’s recollection of it is fuzzy—like a lot of things were in the winter of ‘84—but as he talks, the more he grows certain; it makes sense of a momentary instinct he’d had in The Upside Down, as the earth shook: seeing Eddie fall out the corner of his eye, and suddenly wanting to check whether he rolled his ankle.
“Uh, yeah.” Eddie chuckles slightly—there’s a thread of embarrassment in the sound. Didn’t think—um, sorta hoped you wouldn’t remember that, honestly.”
“I don’t really,” Steve says, then winces. “That sounds bad. I just meant—”
“No, it’s okay,” Eddie says. Steve can hear how he’s smiling. “Better for my ego this way.” He pauses. “You were really sweet about it at the time.”
He moves on quickly—Steve knows that’s partly just Eddie being himself, how he joyfully leaps from one topic to the next. But he doesn’t think he’s imagining the flicker of something shy, the softness in Eddie’s voice, you were really sweet about it.
Steve makes sure to commit it to memory.
#gently falling in love with every phone call ❤️#pre steddie#steddie#steddie ficlet#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve x eddie
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obvious
✩ merchant!qimir x acolyte!reader | fluff | angst | humor | 2.3k
SUMMARY | during an evening of drinking with qimir, he strangely asks if you've ever thought about dating your master.
WARNINGS | kissing, drinking, implications of a spicy time post-story
RATING | teen+
NOTES | again this is probably outside of canon but all i can say is ilq (i love qimir)
///
In the lower level of Qimir’s newest target of a store invasion, several drunken bottles of alcohol and used shot glasses clutter the front counter. You sit across from him on a high stool, as if you were a customer to his bartending.
Which wasn’t quite far off, since he was the one who poured and bought everything for you tonight. Qimir had called for a celebration; you had successfully raided a small village nearby, seizing all valuable goods and leaving no witnesses behind. You did it for yourself, but also for your anonymous master–the same one Qimir serves.
While you are your master’s dedicated pupil, Qimir’s tasked with being your resourceful guide. He follows you across the galaxy, always having anything you need at your disposal and knowing where to go, who to find, and how to concoct everything from anything.
Sure, he may be clumsy and occasionally overly inquisitive, but you’ve grown to like him.
So much that you're retelling the time when a female Gungan tried to fight you in a cantina on Tatooine.
“And so, it turned out they thought I was the one who stole her ex-boyfriend, but it was the human at the table next to mine!”
Qimir breaks into a smile and nearly spits out the lomin ale in his mouth. After a fit of coughing and swallowing his drink, he shakes his head fondly. He seems truly amused and fully relaxed, though perhaps mostly due to the alcohol.
A few beats pass. It's a comfortable silence at first.
But then he starts playing with the stem of his bottle, and the air slowly begins to shift. It shifts entirely when he asks the next question–
“Why aren't you like this around him?”
Him referring to your shared master.
The mixture of spicebrew, lomin ale, Corellian wine, and whatever else you had has lowered your filter completely. You answer frankly, folding out your fingers to list the reasons.
“Firstly, he needs to get me drunk. Secondly, he’s not you, Qimir. And third, disregarding everything I just said: how do you know I'm not?”
“Am I wrong?” he presses, his eyes fixed on you as he raises an eyebrow and takes another swig of his drink.
“I mean, if he eventually shows his face to me, maybe I could. But until then…”
Nonchalantly, you lift a shoulder and down the rest of what’s in your cup. After finishing, you lean back onto the counter, resting your chin in your upturned palm, and wait for him to fill your cup again.
And so he does, but Qimir becomes uncharacteristically pensive. Eyes focused on serving you, rather than on you. After pouring your drink, his playfulness with the bottle turns into a tight-fisted grip. Maybe drunk Qimir was more somber. Quiet.
“Maybe…” His voice drops to a lower, deeper register than you’re used to, his eyes avoiding yours as his mouth tightens. An index finger rhythmically taps against his bottle, like a dooming countdown. “Maybe he’s not sure if you’re loyal enough to see his face.”
The sudden slamming of your cup against the counter breaks his demeanor, and he’s back to being his usual, easily-startled self.
“Well, that frustrates the shit out of me because I respect him!” you cry, almost yelling at him.
Qimir’s gaze sharpens, giving you his entire attention, and you stare back resolutely. Readying yourself, as if confiding in him might reach your master’s ears, wherever he may be. Hell, he probably was listening with a device somewhere on Qimir, on you, or within the store.
“I obey him. I've killed for him. I’d do anything for him,” your voice slightly wavers, but you push on. “I am literally devoted to him with every breath in my body.”
There’s a sting in your eyes, but you refuse to let yourself show weakness, even if it’s just Qimir in front of you. Bringing the cup to your mouth, you let the burn scald your throat, drowning any trace of sadness or frustration.
You chug for some time. After a while, Qimir lifts a hand, but you abruptly stop drinking and interject with a tired chuckle and small smile; he awkwardly drops his hand.
The serious moment passes swiftly with a twinkle in your eye. You silently thank the alcohol for that.
“Although, maybe that's half a lie.”
In the corner of your vision, you catch the intrigued quirk in Qimir’s eyebrow, along with a flicker of anger. Barely noticeable, but it’s there, and you wonder why he would be angry.
You waggle a finger. “Keep this between us, but”—you lean in closer and drop your voice to a whisper—“I'm probably more devoted to you than to him.”
You exchange a glance, and the expression on his face shifts from seriousness to amusement, the flicker of anger completely dissipated. He mirrors your earlier stance, resting his chin in his palm.
“That's only because I help you all the time,” he says, granting you a soft smile that reaches his eyes.
This is a rare moment from Qimir, so you try your best to commit it to memory. Remembering his warm glow, the crinkles around his eyes, and how close he is to you. So close that the hint of the alcohol in his breath brushes your face, but it’s not as strong as you thought it would be.
“Well, there's that…” you admit, nodding, and you break eye contact as you say–
“But you're also my friend, Qimir.”
You barely breathe the last few words out in a whisper, almost as if you were ashamed to say it. But you aren’t–worry merely runs rampant as you fear rejection or something of a similar shade, despite it being just a platonic confession.
“I am?”
His reaction causes you to peer back at him. He draws his head back with a tilt, and you’ve never seen him so puzzled before. There’s a brief pause as he gives it some thought, his eyebrows furrowing in contemplation.
Then, he nods his head and his lips curl into a crooked, almost cocky, grin.
“Huh. I guess I am.”
You clutch your chest in jest and muster your best puppy-eyed frown. “Ouch, if I knew this relationship was that one-sided, I would’ve asked him for another one of his followers to replace you.”
The glimmer in his eyes reads as good-natured, but the blatant flexing of his grip against the edge of the counter says otherwise.
“You wouldn't.”
You push back, jutting out your chin and getting close to him again with a flash of a smirk.
“Oh, I absolutely would.”
You stare at each other, holding your ground.
But then he breaks the little game when he slightly drags his lower lip between his teeth, followed by a fleeting glance towards your mouth.
Your breathing hitches.
In an instant, the moment shatters when Qimir clears his throat and pulls back.
“Do you…” Qimir begins hesitantly, his thumb absentmindedly rubbing a random spot on the counter. He inhales deeply, almost as if he’s steeling himself, then continues, “Have you ever thought you and him could be, like, something more?”
“You mean…” You squint, searching for the right words. “...have I ever thought about dating my master?”
“Mm-hmm.”
You raise an eyebrow and stare blankly at him.
“You've met him, right? We’re talking about the same guy?”
Before he answers, he sips again from his bottle. You become entranced by Qimir’s Adam’s apple as it bobs with each glug. Maybe these thoughts were being filtered through beer goggles, but if Qimir wanted to know about your current ranked dating choices, he'd probably be at the top of your list.
A soft pop sounds as his lips detach from it. The word kissable flashes through your mind.
“I mean, I know he's not really the talkative type but–”
“But what if he's butt-ass ugly?” you blurt out in a screech, pressing your hands into your cheeks in your drunken state.
“He is not butt-ass ugly,” Qimir cuts in, more defensively than you expect.
You drop your hands and chortle loudly, so much that it echoes throughout the store. In disbelief, you grin ear to ear.
“I thought you said you haven't seen him before!” you say, holding out an arm.
“I—I didn't. Haven't! I haven’t,” he stammers, raising a hand and shaking his head. He runs a hand through his disheveled hair. “But why must you assume he's ugly?”
You groan, shaking closed fists and tapping them to your forehead. “Why else wouldn’t he take off that stupid mask?”
You glance up, seeing Qimir’s nostrils flare as he opens his mouth, but you quickly cut him off.
“And why would I like him that way anyway? All he does is just bark orders and share wise, yet oddly cryptic, phrases.”
“Hey, so do I,” Qimir retorts, flicking the tip of your nose with his finger. The force he uses makes your nose sting a bit, but you’re sure he didn’t mean to flick you that roughly. In response, you ruffle your nose petulantly.
You could definitely get used to being like this with Qimir more often.
“Yeah, but you’re not as cryptic,” you point out, “and he’d be lucky if he was half as handsome as you, Qimir.”
You lightly touch his arm, expecting him to bask in your compliment, but he catches you off guard with a chuckle instead.
“Why are you laughing at my compliment?” you ask, somewhat hurt.
“I'm just enjoying your company, my”—he hesitates for a second, as if catching himself from saying something else, before meeting your gaze—“my friend.”
The way he says friend hangs in the air, carrying an unspoken weight. He shakes his head, as if brushing off a thought, and laughs awkwardly. “I’ve gotta get used to that.”
Surprisingly, he continues to dwell on the subject of you and your master. “I mean, if you really think about it, the guy's probably lonely. Probably also likes you a lot more than he lets on and–”
“Okay, stop.” You hold both hands out. “Why are you trying to set me up with him?” You gasp, “Oh, my god–is he your brother?”
“Wow, time flies by so fast!” Qimir exclaims dramatically, quickly getting up from his stool and practically tripping on his own feet. “It’s getting late, and I’m gonna head to bed. Good night!”
In the blink of an eye, he’s already darting upstairs to his temporary bedroom.
“Qimir, answer me!” you call out. “Is he a distant cousin? You must’ve seen him before if he’s related to you.”
“Good night, my friend!” he hollers back.
“Qimir, get back here!”
“Sweet dreams! And drink some water before you go to bed!”
Even in moments like these, Qimir still manages to have the final say, his words always laced with the utmost care for you.
///
A few hours go by, the moonlight shining strongly in the night sky. In the comfort of your makeshift bed nestled in one of the corners of the store, you toss and turn aimlessly. Your mind replays everything with Qimir from the last few hours.
And then realization hits you like a sack of duracrete bricks.
You bolt upright up from the bed and switch between muffling a scream in your pillow and smacking it against your face.
How could you have been so blind to how obvious it all was?
Throwing aside your covers, you carefully and quietly tiptoe upstairs.
At the top of the stairs, with the help of a few burning candles nearby, you peek at the sight of Qimir snoring softly on his side, arms flopped in different directions; it warms your heart.
You approach and take a seat on the empty side of his bed, summoning courage to gently trace the contours of his face, following the sharp lines of his jaw. He stirs awake moments later, turning to face you directly.
“Hey, what’s up?” Qimir mumbles groggily. He rubs his eyes. “Everything all right?”
“Qimir, can you pass a message onto my master?” you ask urgently.
“Right now?” he groans in annoyance, sitting up. “Can't it wait until morning?”
“No, I'm sure you can pass it on now. It’s a pretty simple message.”
You lean in. It’s a quick kiss as your hand rests on his arm. It has to be quick, or else you might change your mind.
Plush lips press against yours. It’s still and tense for a beat, and then he replies with a slight kiss back. He’s the one who breaks away first, but he leans his forehead against yours.
“Uh, I… You want me to kiss him?” he asks in confusion.
You slide your hands to the nape of his neck.
“If you mean kissing yourself, then yes, Master.”
Like flipping a switch, Qimir’s demeanor transforms into something entirely else. His presence intensifies, exuding confidence and strength you’re unused to. His eyes darken, locking onto yours with a gaze that can penetrate your soul.
His rich, deep voice returns from before, now tinged with authority.
“Took you long enough, my acolyte.”
This Qimir—your master—moves swiftly with urgency. His grip on your body is firm, almost possessive. His kisses are passionate, his tongue exploring your mouth with fervor.
“Told you I'm not ‘butt-ass ugly,’” he mumbles, almost growling, between kisses. You giggle, but your giggle quickly turns into a moan as he presses his body firmly into yours.
“And my mask isn’t stupid. I'll have you know it saved me so many–”
You silence your master with another kiss, focusing on the present and pushing aside debates that could be saved for later.
For now, all you want is to remain in the comfort of his bed, letting the night truly begin, marking the beginning of what your master and you have unknowingly long awaited for.
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