#they talk on and on about the fun times they shared on that boat

[lilreidgirl]

Do I wanna know?

Summary: You and Drew are best friends, but you want more. What happens when you get invited to a day out on Drew’s friend’s yacht and get more?

Warnings: MDNI(18+), fem!reader, thigh riding, daddy kink, nicknames used (princess, baby, little lady, good girl…), kissing, alcohol (beer), swearing, no use of (y/n), reader wears a skirt, shy!reader, pining amongst friends, English is not my first language, if I forgot anything; please let me know!!

WC: ~2.4k (no idea how that happened)

A/N: I got inspired by this photo so I wrote this at like 2 am and I’m posting it now at 5 am, this is a mess, gn my loves (NOT PROOF READ, SORRY) (also this is my first fic about Drew so yeah)

When your best friend, Drew Starkey, invited you to a small get together on his friend’s yacht, you were more than willing to go. You and him had been friends since years, getting to know each other through mutual friends and suddenly you were eating take out with a b-list celebrity every other night.

You twirled around in front of your full body sized mirror, watching with amusement as your skirt twirls with you, the ruffles bouncing as they fluttered in the wind.

“Wow. Really doesn’t take much to get a smile on that pretty little face of yours, huh?” Drew chuckled as he watched you spin around.

Startled by his voice you stopped your little turns, looking at him with a small playful glare when the dizzy fog finally cleared from your vision.

“I’m just a happy person. You should try it sometime” you shot back, but you knew it was no use. Drew was great at talking, arguing, whatever. He was great with people in a way you just couldn’t figure out for yourself.

But honestly? You were fine just standing on the sidelines watching him do his thing, waiting for him to abandon that and come talk to you for a bit.

You had been fine with it.

Lately every time he laughed and grinned at one of your sarcastic comments and every time he stared at you like he was a theoretical physicist and you had the answers to string theory, you couldn’t help but want more. Couldn’t help but want that “best friend” status to be upgraded to “girlfriend”. Hell, you even dreamt of being called his wife.

For now though, you were just going to try and enjoy the day on a luxurious boat.

Soon you found yourselves in the car. You clicked on random songs on your phone and sand along to the “wait, this is the best part, shut up”’s before yet again changing the song as Drew drove to the harbour, admiring the way you seemed so enthralled by the different songs and music.

“Would love to continue listening to your big world tour concert, little lady, but we’re here,” he announced once he’d gotten the car carefully parked.

Excitedly, you jumped out of Drew’s car, watching as he did the same before you both made your way closer to the water where many ships floated atop the sea.

At the same time, you both spotted Drew’s group of friends, waving at them as they saw you two as well.

You’d gotten to know them a bit but the amount of group hangouts you attended, didn’t really allow you to form a strong bond to any of Drew’s friends.

What can you say?

You’re just not a people person.

You’re a person person.

A Drew person.

You squashed the ridiculous thought, giggling it off before you checked that your outfit was neatly in order.

Upon seeing you inspecting your clothes, Drew leaned down and whispered in your ear, his breath tantalizingly brushed against your ear and neck as he spoke, “You look amazing, baby, don’t worry.”

As you reached the boat, the smile you had shared for a few enchanting seconds came to a sudden end.

“Hey, Drew!” Various different voices greeted the both of you and you both returned the favour with just as much enthusiasm.

One of the guys, the one whose yacht it was presumably, invited everyone aboard.

Your eyes flitted to everything around you, spotting a few seats, some complicated looking boat equipment and random day-to-day fun stuff lying around.

The smell of fish and sea breeze filled the air and your nostrils, but that scent quickly evaporated when Drew stepped next to you, finally finished with catching up with his friend and was now holding out a beer bottle for you to take. His cologne took over, overwhelming your senses. Something you were definitely not complaining about.

You accepted the beer from him, taking a sip before handing it back to him and watching as he repeated your action of drinking from the bottle.

Your gaze drifted to his Adam’s apple as it bobs when he took gulps of the alcoholic drink. He lowered the glass container from his lips, putting his strong bicep right in your line of sight.

As embarrassing as it is to admit you could have almost moaned from just looking at his muscly arm.

He must have taken off his shirt sometime between helping you up the steps on the side of the ship, his hand securely wrapped around your thigh to keep you from falling, and when he seemingly appeared behind you as you admired your surroundings.

Then your eyes found his chest, strong pecs priding over his abs that seemed carved from the very marble that Michelangelo had used to sculpt David, each muscle defined with an almost perfect precision to it.

Just before you could take a good look at his black swim shorts hanging off his hips and hugging his beefy thighs, his voice called your name.

“Hey, come on, picture time,” he reiterated what he had said when you were still zoned out.

“Oh. Okay,” Throwing your thoughts back into reality, you watched as everyone made their way over to the discussed upon place where the photo would be taken.

“Who wants to set the timer?” A girl, who you’d forgotten the name of, asked.

Something with an F? L? A? Who cares.

“Not it!” Was called by everyone but you, your face quickly morphing from a surprised look of “who the hell still uses ‘not it’?” to an accepting face that you were in fact “it”.

The girls and boys all took their places on the netting of the boat. The 5 people in front of you got ready to pose for the group photo.

Efficiently, you adjusted the tripod so that the camera of the phone pointed perfectly towards the centre of everyone.

You bent down, looking at the screen of the mobile. You saw Drew depicted by many pixels, your thighs clenching when he moved his hips up to readjust his position on the midnight blue blanket that lay sprawled over the rough nylon net.

Fuck, he was perfect.

Of course, you fixed your hair one last time before pressing the white button on the right side of the device, starting the 10 second countdown until the picture.

Swiftly, you made your way around the tripod, and plopped down onto the free space between a dark haired guy, you’ve come to know as Matthew, and Drew. You smiled sweetly at the round circles on the back of the phone as Drew slung an arm around your shoulders.

Once the photo was taken, everyone scattered and the usual chatter was back. You ran up to the phone and you looked at the image.

Well fuck.

Drew looked absolutely freaking ethereal.

His sitting in a reclined position with one leg bent and the other stretched out, manspreading, almost made you go feral. He was smiling widely toward the camera, his impossibly bright grin attracting all the attention in the photo.

His body looked like a dream. For a moment, you thought maybe you were dreaming, if you were you would hold onto the memory of the photo, even if it was just a dream, for the rest of your life.

God, pining for your hot best friend made you sound so so pathetic.

The thought that what you were experiencing was just a dream was snapped in two like a twig when Drew came up from behind you and flicked your bare back.

“Ouch!” You exclaimed, a frown forming on your face.

“‘M sorry, princess,” he swung his arms over your shoulders, holding on to you from behind like a koala would his mother, peering at the screen in your hands.

“Did it turn out good?” He asked casually, acting as if he didn’t see how your face was blushing an awfully deep shade of red and don’t even start to think that he missed the way you were obviously turned on.

“Yup,” you answered curtly, ducking down to be released of any physical contact with him, because you felt as if you would melt if he touched you a second longer.

“I’m um… gonna go below deck. The sun uh- it’s hitting me pretty hard right now. I have a headache,” you lied, coming up with some excuse to just get yourself somewhere where you can have your alone time.

“O…kay…” He didn’t seem convinced but that wasn’t for you to deal with in that moment. You made your way down the stairs leading below the deck of the ship, the room was nice and cozy.

With a sigh of relief you sat down on a wooden bench near the kitchen and slipped your phone out of your purse.

After a few minutes of mindlessly scrolling through various social media apps you heard footsteps nearing you, causing you to look up.

Your eyes met none other than Drew Starkey himself.

“On your phone when you have a headache? Really?” He asked unamused. “You lyin’ about the headache or you just stupid?”

“Stupid…?” you offered in a quiet meek voice.

“C’mon, sweetheart, what’s the problem, huh? You don’t like my friends or something?” He questioned as he sat himself down next to you on the oak plank.

“No, no, they’re great, I just…” You really should have been able to come up with something to say but the way his forearm was flexing as it rested on his thigh distracted you.

A smirk grew on Drew’s face. “No yeah, I uh-“ he chucked as he shook his head in what looked like slight disbelief, “I know.”

Unsure of the true meaning behind his comment you averted your eyes to the floor, focusing on the swaying of the boat on the water instead of Drew’s piercing blue eyes staring intently at you.

He leaned back with a sigh, his legs spreading wider and his arm sneaking behind your back and around your waist. “You’re kind of ridiculous, you know that?”

All you could do was nod which earned you yet another laugh from Drew.

Just as you were about to persuade yourself to actually speak, you were pulled onto Drew’s lap by his arm, his hands quickly settling you on his thighs.

“Wha-“

“I know, princess,” he cooed.

You know you should have felt at least slightly degraded or mad because of his tone but the only thing it did, was make you want to clench your thighs together. Which of course wasn’t possible because each of your legs rested on different sides of Drew.

“You look so pretty today, baby,” he said, tucking some loose strands of hair behind your ear before moving his face down to your neck and pressing soft, fleeting, sensational kisses to the side of your collar.

Your breathing became panted and you unintentionally slowly rubbed your core along the material of his pitch black swim trunks.

“Not even a thank you?” He murmured teasingly as his kisses walked over to the area right under your ear and his large hands gripped your hips harshly, stopping you from any further movement.

“Th- thank you…” You whispered, your tone dipped and coated in your lust and arousal.

You felt a small nip on your throat that made you let out a small “Ah-!”

“Thank you…?” He muttered expectantly.

“Sir?” You tried, getting your confirmation of that being the wrong answer when a more harsh bite was left just under your jawline.

“Daddy..” you practically moaned out, the small pleasure that you got from the bites making you rut against Drew’s strong hold on your body.

“Good girl…” he praised, his face finally coming up to meet yours, kissing you softly but also at the same time with an unforeseeable force.

His fingers stopped drilling into the skin over your hipbones, letting you push your aching core down onto his covered thigh.

He broke the kiss, his plump lips and hot breath trailing over your cheek as you both gasped from air.

His hand roughly grabbed the back of your head, wrapping his fingers around your messy hair, holding you tight against him.

Immediately after, his other hand took hold of your hip again, helping you grind down on his swim pants.

“That’s right, baby, use daddy’s leg,” he breathed out heavily.

“Such,” he pressed a sloppy kiss to your jawline, “a,” another kiss was placed on the corner of your mouth, “good,” he said before pecking your lips, “girl,” he murmured into your mouth before shoving his tongue down your throat.

The press of his thigh onto your bikini bottom made a perfect friction emerge against your clit, sending jolts of pleasure through you.

“What about-“ you started.

“I locked the door, sweetheart, no worries.”

The way he basically read your mind made you feel even more turned on.

Your folds rubbed back and forth in your

soaking wet swim bottoms as you gripped Drew’s shoulders tightly, eyes squeezed shut as he continued to spew out praise after praise to you.

Suddenly a knock resounded throughout the room, a sudden halt coming to your despicable actions.

“Hello? Anyone in here? Why is the door locked?” A female voice asked from the other side of the door.

“One second!” Drew called before returning his attention to you.

“We’ll finish this later, yeah?” All you could do was nod, still completely dazed.

He picked you up off his lap, helping you settle back into a standing position and smoothing out both of your guys’ clothes.

With a casual smile on his face he unlocked and opened the door, spouting out some excuse for the door being locked before leading you upstairs with him.

For the rest of the afternoon, you sat, with a drink in hand, watching Drew talk amongst his friends, his eyes flicking to you every once in a short while.

Once other people started leaving and the sun started setting, he walked up to you.

“Ready to leave, princess?”

“Uh-huh,” you uttered out, standing up and saying your goodbyes to everyone that still found themselves on the yacht.

As you walked down the dock, admiring the sunset, you gripped onto Drew’s arm.

“Everything okay?” He asked.

You looked up at him with an “Are you serious?” face, annoyed at his nonchalant antics.

“Gee, sorry, okay?” He chuckled.

“I’ll make you feel good soon. Don’t worry, little lady.”

@emma-e-a

[street-smarts00]

Weirdest Place

Spencer Reid x gen neutral!reader

Summary: The team finds out you and Spencer have been dating during a night out.

WC: 1.1k

A/N: this is yet another fic based on an episode of friends, specifically a scene from the blackout episode but i added a fun twist lol

Tags: conversations about sex but not smut, established relationship between r & reid, consumption of alcohol

After the team was finished at the BAU they all went out to a local bar for drinks. As the night went on JJ and Hotch left to be at home with their kids. With their boss gone and the tipsiness from their drinks, the topic of conversation got more and more inappropriate.

“A boat?” Rossi asked

“Yes,” Derek confirmed

“A boat?” Emily spoke this time.

“Why don’t you believe me?” Derek asked, slightly offended.

Emily raised her hands in defense, “It’s not that we don’t believe you.”

“It just seemed like your weirdest place would be a bit more adventurous based on how you brought it up,” Rossi voiced.

Derek furrowed his eyebrows, “and a boat isn’t adventurous?”

“No it is,” Penelope chuckled before reaching for her drink. Of course, she’d already heard about Derek’s nautical escapades.

Derek directed his attention back to Emily, “And what about you? What’s your weirdest place?”

She leaned back in her seat with a tinge of embarrassment she tried to hide with smugness. “That’s classified,”

Rossi and Derek cringed at Emily’s diversion.

“Oh god,” Rossi chuckled before taking a sip of his drink.

“Do I even wanna know?” Derek asked half joking.

Emily shrugged instead of answering. Derek decided he was better off not pushing Emily to share her story. He then brought his attention to the man across from him.

“What about you, pretty boy?”

Spencer’s head darted to him with raised eyebrows. “Me?”

“You got a weirdest place?”

“I- um.”

His ears started to turn a shade of crimson and he stuttered on his words, or lack thereof since he was caught off guard.

“It’s probably like a library or something,” Rossi jokes, earning a bright laugh from Derek.

Penelope set her drink down, “don’t make him say it if he doesn’t- “

“Actually it was.”

Everyone froze and turned to Spencer.

Emily was the first to speak, “What?”

Spencer shifted in his seat while the courage he had before started to dwindle. His face was now officially turning red.

“Me and um- someone were at the library because I was showing her it’s Edgar Allen Poe collection. Then at some point we ended up in … um the second floor bathroom.”

“Oh my god,” Penelope giggled before placing her hand on her mouth in shock.

“I can’t believe I was right,” Rossi commented.

“I can’t believe Spencer Reid was getting freaky in a library,” Derek said with a humorous grin.

“Shut up,” Spencer squeaked in a high pitched voice.

He hoped the topic of conversation would quickly be dropped so he didn’t have to reveal too much about his love life. But he suspected that wouldn’t happen once you came back to the table.

You and Spencer had started dating a few months prior and wanted to keep things to yourselves. You both intended to figure out the beginning of your relationship without the eyes of your friends.

“The line for the bathroom was so long,” you complained as you approached the table and sat down next to Spencer. “What did I miss?”

“Oh we never heard Y/N’s place,” Penelope excitedly pointed out.

You looked at her confused, “What place?”

“I have no clue how we got here but they all started talking about the weirdest places they’ve had sex,” Emily explained.

“Wow. Well, when I’m done I need to hear all of yours,” you pointed your glass in a motion towards all of them before drinking the last sip.

“I usually don’t venture outside the bedroom but out of the few times I have I think there’s two tied for first place.”

“What’s one of them?”

“Library.”

Silence fell over the group. Spencer’s stomach dropped to the floor at your answer. His face turned cherry red and his eyes remained frozen on the table in front of him.

You on the other hand were baffled at the reaction from your friends.

“What?”

While your eyes scanned the group you were met with relatively neutral expressions that didn’t match the growing tension in the air. All of them looked as if they wanted to say something, but not one of them was ready to speak.

Embarrassment and regret were creeping their way towards you in silence. Your body tensed up and you folded your arms in front of you.

“Come on guys, it's not that weird. It’s not like we were in an aisle, we were in the bathroom,” you tried to defend yourself.

That sentence seemed to spark something in the group. Their body language started to relax but still had a bit of hesitation. They all knew at this point, but they wanted you to confirm it.

“What floor?”

You followed the voice to Emily “Excuse me?”

“What floor was the bathroom on?”

You couldn’t wrap your head around her question.

“Why does that matter?”

“It does, which floor?” Penelope questioned this time.

“Second I think,” you hesitated, still confused.

“Oh my god!” Penelope squealed. “You guys are sleeping together?”

With your eyes wide, face hot, and heart pounding, you stared at her. Trying to figure out how a story like this was one they already heard. You forgot until now that they were already playing this game before you got back.

Turning to the side you playfully smacked Spencer’s arm. “You told them that?”

He gaped at you and grabbed his arm. Face still red of course now accompanied with a crack in his voice. “I didn’t think you were gonna tell them. I thought you would have talked about the other time.”

“Why would I tell them that?” You said in a quieter tone.

“What other time?” Derek interrupted, filled with curiosity.

Rossi pipped in next, “you said two places were tied for weirdest, what’s the other place?”

You and Spencer went quiet. You looked at each other before returning your gaze to the group.

“I think this is a great time to get a refill,” you grabbed your glass and stood up. “Spencer, coming with?”

He quickly scrambled to stand up, “Absolutely.”

The two of you made your way to the bar as your friends all started murmuring.

“So, you didn’t want to tell them you had sex on a plane?” He asked with a slight smirk.

“No, of course not!” You squealed which earned a laugh from him.

“Eventually they would’ve found out we’re dating and I didn’t want them to figure out it was on the jet,” you explained.

“It’s not like any of them were there,” he said before leaning down to kiss your forehead.

“I still don’t wanna get fired.”

[puck-luck]

Hi, girly. I hope I find you fine.

I'd like to make a request with Quinn. Could you write something where reader is feeling down, like after a day of dealing with friends/family drama and she is just drained, plus they are at the lake house and yk all the boys are there but she doesn't feel like having dinner or hanging out with them, she just wants to cuddle and recharge and Q just excuses himself to be with her and hopefully makes her feel better.

Thank you so much 💓

warnings: cockwarming. that's IT. other than that, it's just domestic bliss.

pairing: quinn hughes x fem!reader

word count: 1,229

note: thank you @skylershines for requesting this! sorry it took me a while to finish :,) this ask wasn't inherently sexual, but since i am a smut writer, i had to throw in a sexual element or two. i am not THE fluff girl on tumblr dot com LOL but love you girly

The boys are downstairs making a ruckus about something. You’re starting to wonder if they ever tire themselves out, or if they’re always full of energy like this. The day has been long and chock-full of activities and you’re… rather exhausted.

Maybe it’s because of all the sun you soaked up on the boat that’s making you sleepy. Maybe it’s the swimming you did or the wine with the big, filling, home-cooked meal that Quinn made. Maybe it’s from the flight from Vancouver to Michigan two days ago that’s making you so tired. Maybe it’s the knowledge that you’re working from home– Quinn’s home– tomorrow and you can’t dedicate all your time to the fun happenings in the vacation home.

All in all, you don’t know what the root of your exhaustion is, but you know that there’s no way you want to leave this bed again today. You’re due for a good rot. You’ve got a book in hand and you’re all tucked in beneath the covers and the fact that it’s only 7:30pm doesn’t matter to you one bit. The sun hasn’t even started to set, but here you are, ready for bed.

Between the lines in your book, you can piece together what the boys are talking about downstairs. Trevor wants a bonfire. Jack and Luke want to go wakesurfing. Alex doesn’t care, but he wants someone to make a decision. Cole wants to stay in and play ping pong. You’re secretly hoping that the fact that you can’t really hear your boyfriend arguing with his brothers and friends means that he’ll be coming upstairs to join you soon.

It isn’t long before you hear feetsteps padding up the stairs and making their way towards the bedroom you share with Quinn. You continue reading, paying no mind to the man entering the room, but there’s a hint of a smile on your face. 

“Hey,” Quinn greets in a low, relaxed tone. He kisses the top of your head, hovering by your side of the bed. “The boys want to do something. Are you up for it?”

Not really. “What do they want to do?” you ask, not sure if they’d come to an agreement by the time Quinn joined you upstairs. You don’t really want to join the boys, but you don’t want to seem like a spoilsport during your first trip to the lakehouse. Being a recluse won’t get you any favors, no matter how much Quinn likes you. You might be able to go downstairs and sit by a bonfire or watch from the couch while the boys play ping pong. Sitting on the boat wouldn’t be that bad, but you’d have to change out of your pajamas (a cute little slip that you packed just for Quinn). You also know that “one hour on the boat” never actually means one hour on the boat. It always stretches into two or three. So, really, you’d rather stay in.

“Thinking about going out on the boat,” Quinn replies, because you’re really not that lucky when it comes down to it.

Again, you’re faced with a dilemma: you can go with them and feel tired and cranky or you can stay here and feel like you’re not being a good girlfriend by joining the group. There’s not really a good option. At least in this bed, you’ll be warm.

“I kind of just want to stay in bed, if that’s okay,” you tell Quinn with a small shrug. “But I don’t want them to think that I’m boring or anything. I’m just tired.”

Quinn lets out a laugh. “They don’t think you’re boring. Are you okay, though? I know your ‘just tired’ can mean something else sometimes.”

He’s so sweet. You’ve been with Quinn less than a year, but he’s still managed to note your idiosyncrasies and moods perfectly. “I’m okay, sweet boy.”

“Do you want me to stay?”

A wave of affection passes through you. “Do what you want, Q. You choose. I won’t say no to cuddling you all night, but don’t stay on my account.”

“Just let me tell the guys to go without me,” Quinn replies. He leans down and meets your lips. “Then I’ll be back.”

He departs, but his return is quick. He brings his own book and gets into his pajamas– nothing but his boxer shorts– before joining you under the covers. Quinn throws an arm over your shoulders and opens his book, settling in.

You read together in silence for a little while. You start to get bored and allow yourself two more chapters– after checking to see just how long those chapters were, six and eight pages respectively– before you close your book and set it on the nightstand. You slide down the bed a bit, wrapping your arm around Quinn’s waist and squishing your cheek against his chest. 

Quinn rubs your arm. “Sleepy, babe?” he asks.

You hum, turning your face into his bare skin and planting a kiss there. “You’re warm.”

Quinn breathes out a laugh. He pulls you closer; you’re practically on his lap now. You might as well finish the job and get comfortable, so you straddle Quinn and bury your face in his neck, kissing the skin there. Quinn brings his hand to your back and runs his fingers up and down the expanse of it in soothing motions. 

It tickles at first, making you squirm. After a minute or so, you relax into the touch– and a few minutes after that, you find yourself grinding down against Quinn’s rapidly-filling cock.

“Quinn,” you murmur in his ear. You pull back and meet his eyes, trying to convey what you want with just a look. 

You don’t want much. You’re still tired and drained from the day, completely washed out from the swimming and boating and sunbathing you’d been thinking of earlier. All you want is to have Quinn close.

“Yeah,” he replies with a nod. He sets his book aside and encourages you to kneel up just enough that he can slide the waistband of his boxers down and free his cock. 

Greedily, you try to grind against his shaft as soon as it’s free, but Quinn halts you with a soft touch from his free hand. 

He fists the base of his cock and pulls the crotch of your panties to the side, using the pads of his deft fingers to spread your folds. His eyes are hooded and loving as his tip breaches your hole, and he starts to smile when you sink down and settle against him. 

“Oh,” you breathe out once you take him fully, clenching down and loosening your grip on his cock a few times before melting into Quinn. 

“Sweet girl,” Quinn praises in the tone that’s just for you. He plants his hands on your hips and kisses your lips.

Neither of you make an effort to move. In fact, you find yourself growing very drowsy in Quinn’s comforting arms. His distinct, tender touch has your head lulling forward, falling against his shoulder. Quinn breathes deeply and you follow, matching him. The smell of his bodywash fills your nose and you close your eyes, taking another breath.

It’s not inherently sexual, having Quinn’s cock inside you and his lips on your skin. It is, however, exactly what you needed after such an exhausting day.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Faking It | Jeon Jungkook | Chapter One

Summary: Being divorced by the time you're thirty isn't the best feeling in the world but what happens when your parents find someone from your past that's in a similar boat? Pairing: f!reader (30) x Single Dad Jungkook (33) (Arranged Marriage Slow Burn?) Word Count: 11.3k (oh man holy shit) Warnings: Troubles with conceiving/seeing pregnancies to full term, Jungkook's first wife passed away in childbirth. (These themes will be spoken about throughout the fic and I will add extra warnings when need be in future chapters) a/n: Okay this one is gonna be a long one (in terms of chapter length, idk how many parts there will be) I'm really really in love with this story line so I hope you'll come along this cute, silly, awkward, heartwarming and heartbreaking journey with me 🥰 p.s. I've been brainstorming with @kkusadmirer (ofc 🤭) about this fic for a while now and I've just fallen in love with these characters too much that I had to get at least one part out. Okay okay enough from me. I hope you enjoy! (barely edited per usual I'm sry 😅)

"You should start dating again" my mom says to me, a dinner with a table for two this time since she said she wanted to talk to me about something important. If I would've known it was to nag me about something like this again I would've declined the invitation.

"Mom I already told you, I just got divo-" "You got divorced last year" she cuts me off and I sigh, knowing I'll probably get no where with this argument but continue on nevertheless.

"Point being, it hasn't been that long since Robert and I got divorced. I need time and space to figure out what I want out of life. I'm not interested in rushing into another marriage just for it to fail again" I explain and she simply downs the rest of her champagne in response, polishing it off in record time.

"You don't want to end up an old maid who didn't give me any grandchildren do you?" she says, repeating the same old argument again. "Mom I'm thirty, not forty five. I still have plenty of time to worry about babies and getting married again" I argue and she rolls her eyes before asking for another glass when the waiter passes by.

"You should at least try. Don't you like going out on dates?" she asks and I sigh, hating having this conversation over and over again.

"Dating was fun in my twenties but now that I'm more interested in finding someone to settle down with, it seems like all the guys that are remotely my age and happen to be decent human beings are already married" I explain and watch how she immediately takes her glass of champagne off the table once it's placed in front of her.

I'm glad she's drinking because having this conversation with her when she's sober is even more painful.

"You're exaggerating honey. I'm sure there is a fine young man just waiting for you around the corner" but before I'm able to respond to her, her eyes suddenly light up and she quickly gets out of her seat.

"Is it really you?" she says and another woman around her age that I've never seen before comes up to greet her. "How are you? It's been so long!" the mystery woman says and they quickly share an embrace before she turns to face me.

"And who is this beautiful young woman here with you?" she asks, making me shy away from them. "Oh this is my daughter y/n. Y/n this is Mrs. Jeon" she introduces us and tells me all about how they used to go to college together.

"Oh wow I think I remember my mom mentioning you before. You used to come over when I was little right?" I question, now remembering seeing her face in some of the pictures in my baby album.

"That's right! Little Jungkook and I used to come visit you all the time when you were just a teeny tiny little thing. You were the easiest baby I've ever come across, always sleeping and when you woke up you were as happy as can be" she rambles and I get a warm feeling in my chest, loving to have met someone who clearly cared so deeply for my mother and I.

"Who's Jungkook" I ask, looking back and forth between the two of them. "Jungkook is my son, he's just a few years older than you. I remember he was so fascinated by you, always wanting to come over and would watch over you as you slept, never causing a fuss as long as you were around" she says and I blush at the fact that her son would care about me just as much if not more than she does.

"How is he? Is he doing alright?" my mother asks and Mrs. Jeon gets a somber look on her face eyes fluttering to the floor before responding.

"Actually, he lost his wife a few years ago. She passed away after she gave birth to their daughter" she mumbles and I feel my chest tighten up at the thought of someone so young losing their life to something that is supposed to be so beautiful.

"My condolences to you all" I say, my eyes going glossy and she smiles in return, the memory bringing a tear to her eye as well. "Thank you love, that's very kind of you" she says, placing a hand on my shoulder before she clears her throat and blinks back her tears, wanting to put on a brave face in public.

"Why don't you come visit us at our home tomorrow evening? I would love to catch up and it would be good if the kids got reacquainted again" my mother suggests and I glare at her, knowing exactly what she's doing but also knowing there's no way I could stop her. 

"I would love that! Our husbands might enjoy catching up too since they used to get along so well" Mrs. Jeon points out. "Then it's settled! How would you feel about making it a dinner instead?" my mother questions, digging us deeper into this evening we'll all be spending together. "I think that sounds perfect!" she agrees and I tune out the rest of the conversation, already trying to mentally prepare myself for the scheming I know my mother has planned.

~~~~

Kicking off my shoes and walking into my apartment I'm greeted by the serene sound of silence. 

My black tuxedo cat meows as he jumps down from his cat tower and stretches for a second before coming over to greet me. "Hi Salem" I say, scooping him up and carrying him with me into my bedroom where I plop him down in the middle of my bed. "Mom only invited me to dinner because she wanted to tell me to start dating again" I relay to him, while I walk around my room, grabbing all the things I'll need to get ready for bed.

"I should've known she was up to something when she decided to invite me out on a random Wednesday night to go to my favorite restaurant. If the previous glances I had of the totals on those receipts didn't clue me in enough I don't know what would" I say in disbelief, having convinced myself hours earlier that it might've been about something good instead of another chance to nag me about something.

"I don't know why I even bother sometimes. She just has this worst case scenario mindset that I'm going to die alone and not leave a legacy. I understand that I'm their only child but with the way she talks, you would think I was well into my forties already" I say, verbally processing to him while he curls up into a ball, his eyes watch me walk back and forth until I walk into the en-suite bathroom to turn on the shower.

"Thanks for always listening to me Salem" I say, walking back over to him and scratching his head, "Don't know what I would do without you" I mumble before walking back over to the bathroom and closing the door.

Looking in the mirror I study my features, my hair styled just how I like it, my brows perfectly shaped but when I get to my eyes I notice it. I notice why my mother has gotten so worried about me.

It's as if the light's gone out of them. It's more than just 'Hey it's been a long day and I'm tired' no it's 'I don't even know what I'm doing here anymore' and for the first time, I admit to myself that I truly feel that way.

I reach for my cleanser and quickly wash off the little makeup that I still have on, lips completely plain and gone back to their natural color and some how my cheeks don't seem to be as rosy anymore after I had made sure to put on some more blush today to bring some color back to my face. Maybe it's not the makeup that's been washing me out, but the way that I've been living.

I will admit my days consist of going to work and coming home and doing that same thing over and over again. I don't really go out much and I only have a few friends but ever since I got divorced I just end up politely declining any sort of invitation I get from them. Doesn't matter if it's dinner or drinks or clubbing or even just a shopping trip.

I just can't get myself wanting to do anything anymore.

I step into the shower and I flinch slightly at the burning sensation the hot water brings to me but adjust it and step further under the stream once it's just to my liking. While going though my shower routine mindlessly I start trying to get to the bottom of what has got me living like this.

Robert wasn't the best husband in the world, mainly because he cheated on me but before that things were good between us. He made me laugh and was a perfect gentleman that always made me feel special and when we got married I swear I thought I couldn't be happier. 

It felt like my life was falling into place, our life.

Until it wasn't.

I'm knocked out of my train of thought when I hear Salem pawing at the door and remember now that in my whirl winded state of mind I forgot to feed him. "Sorry Salem I'll be right out!" I call out for him and he meows in response. I swear that cat is more intelligent than I am most days.

I finish up my uninteresting night as I always do, turning out the lights and cuddling up with Salem until I eventually fall asleep but it took a little longer tonight. Thoughts full of what my future might look like if I don't start living instead of just existing. 

As the 'what ifs' plague my mind they eventually drown themselves out as that same welcoming feeling of calm finally lulls me to sleep. 

~~~~~~

"Hurry up they're almost here" my mother says, yanking me inside the house before I even have a chance to knock on the front door. "Nice to see you too mom" I say under my breath and she's wound up so tight it doesn't even phase her. I can tell she's been working hard to make sure everything is perfect once the Jeons arrive.

"Did you get that wine I told you to get?" she questions, her eyes lighting up at the sight of the wine bottle carrier in my hand, quickly taking it and rushing into the kitchen. "Yeah no problem mom you're welcome" I say, talking to the air in front of me still waiting for her to show any sign of gratitude.

"Go place your things in your old room so they're out of the way" she call out, leaving me sighing and trudging off to do as she says.

Once I retrace my steps and walk past the door to go to join her in the kitchen I'm stopped in my tracks when the doorbell rings.

"Oh honey can you get that? My hands are tied here" my mom yells and I take a deep breath in and out before doing just that.

"Hello y/n! It's so nice to see you again" Mrs. Jeon greets me as I step aside and let them in, soon after her is her husband who holds out his hand in greeting. "It's been quiet a long time hasn't it? I remember when you use to be-" "Grandpa! Grandpa! I wanna meet the pretty lady too!" a little girl no older than five years old says, walking around her grandfather's legs to get to me, greeting me with the most adorable bunny smile.

"And now who might this be?" I ask, already melting into a puddle from seeing how absolutely adorable she is. "I'm Juni" she laughs when I go down to her level. "Well it's very nice to meet you Juni and how old are you?" I ask and she lights up when I continue taking an interest in her. "I'm four! Well Daddy says I'm turning five soon but it feels like it's taking forever. Right Daddy?" she says and looks back towards the man now left standing in the doorway.

"That's right Juni" he responds and the deep tenor of his voice sends a slight shiver down my spine, so full of love and admiration that is obvious to anyone who might come across the pair. "Oh!" I say, quickly straightening back up to meet this mysterious Jungkook and my throat goes dry once I've laid eyes on him.

Tall, strong build, dark brown hair that's well taken care of and styled perfectly, strong jawline accompanied by the contrast of the softest look in his brown almost black galaxy eyes that are still focused on his beautiful daughter.

"I'm sorry" I say but he shakes his head before he turns his head in my direction, taking in the sight of me as well before speaking. "That's alright, Juni kind of grabs everyone's attention right away" he says giving me a soft smile. "I'm Jungkook" he says, holding his hand out to me. "Y/n" I say shyly and shake it, his hands being much larger than mine is comforting in a way.

"My mom told me we used to come see you when we still lived here" he says once we let go, Juni now quietly watching our exchange. "Used to?" I question, curious to know more about why our mothers had lost touch. "We went back to our hometown for a while and then moved back to the city soon after Juni was born" he says and I nod my head, accepting that as an answer for now but wanting to know more.

"Sounds like I was just an infant though so I don't really have any memory of it" I admit while rocking back and forth on my heels, a nervous habit I've picked up over the years. "It's alright, I didn't expect you to remember" he chuckles, "I was only three so I don't remember much of it either" we laugh at his returned confession and a more comfortable air settles between us.

"Well it's nice to finally meet you" I say and he nods his head. "Likewise" he replies and we stand there for a moment, not really knowing where to go from here then, thankfully Juni breaks the silence.

"Daddy I wanna talk to the pretty lady" she says and grabs my hand and pulls me away from him. "Be nice Juni" he warns and she pouts, leaving me crouching down to her level and tilting my head to meet her gaze. "There's enough of me to go around little one. Don't worry" I say, booping her on the nose and making her giggle again.

Jungkook walks in a bit more and closes the door behind him, watching our little exchange before my mother comes out to check on us.

"Y/n why don't you take Jungkook and..." she says trailing off, not having learned his daughter's name yet. "Juni" Jungkook says and my mother smiles at the sound of the adorable name. "Jungkook and Juni outside. I'm sure she'd love to run around a little bit before dinner is ready" she suggests and I agree while Juni starts jumping up and down, excited to explore an unfamiliar place.

Jungkook follows closely behind as I lead the way but I ultimately end up getting dragged along by Juni who is surprisingly perceptive and has already mapped out the door that we'll be going through. "Come on Daddy keep up!" she calls after him once we've reached the door, looking back and seeing that he's fallen behind.

"I'm right behind you Juni" Jungkook chuckles and once we step outside Juni lets go and runs back and forth all around the yard, looking at anything and everything she can find.

"Be careful!" I say, worried that she could hurt herself but Jungkook comes over and stands next to me and reassures me she'll be fine.

"It's alright, if she gets hurt it'll be a little reminder to pay attention to what she's doing next time. That's the only way kids really learn right?" he says turning towards me, granting me with a soft smile, almost as if he's looking for validation on his parenting choice.

"Of course," I respond, returning the smile, "even some adults need to crash and burn before they learn their lesson sometimes" I point out and it makes him relax a bit more, thankful to see that he's right in his dealings with situations like this.

"She's a good kid" I say after leading him over to the patio set we have out here so we can sit down and watch her. "Thanks, it's been difficult raising her on my own so I'm never really sure if I'm doing a good job or not" he admits and I nod my head, taking a second to think about my response since it's a sensitive subject.

"I can tell that you love her very much so I have no doubt in my mind that you'll always do right by her" and I can tell that my words bring him a sense of comfort. Being a single parent can be extremely difficult especially when you lose the love of your life as soon as you become a father. 

I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone.

"Y/n?" I hear him call out and realize that my mind had drifted off for a second. "I'm sorry what did you say?" I say, my cheeks heating up from having been caught daydreaming. "I asked if you had any children of your own" he chuckles and I again try to figure out the best way to word this but figure the best way to go about it is to be honest. 

I've got no reason to hide from him.

"No, I got divorced last year and my ex husband and I were never able to have children" I say, looking down at my lap, embarrassed to have admitted it but also feeling a certain weight lifted off my shoulders.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know" he trails off and I panic, realizing I might've made him feel uncomfortable, telling him something so personal so soon. "No don't be, I honestly dodged a bullet with that one" I chuckle, hoping to lighten the situation a bit which thankfully it does as I see his body relax a bit.

"Our relationship had been on the rocks soon after we got married and I don't think we were a good match for each other so I think it was the universe's way of doing me a favor in making us somewhat biologically incompatible" I chuckle and he softly does the same.

"Biologically incompatible" he questions, a deeper meaning obviously hidden behind those words. "We both got checked out and everything looked completely fine but I guess it wasn't meant to be, thank God" I sigh, sincerely thanking whoever might've been in charge of making that executive decision for us.

"I'm not exactly sure what to say to that but I'm glad it worked out?" he states almost as if it was a question and I laugh, in response hoping I can recover this incredibly awkward conversation. "I'm sorry, that was a huge overshare that I probably should've kept to myself" I say, clearing my throat in hopes it would aid in clearing the peculiar air that had settled between us.

"You have nothing to apologize for, I asked and I feel honored that you felt comfortable enough to be so transparent with your answer" he says, the warmth in his tone giving me an ache in my chest. How could someone be so kind to someone they've just met? It's as if I could tell him anything and he would listen to me as if I was the only person in the world.

"Daddy!" 'Well me and Juni', I say to myself and watch as his attention now shifts to his daughter who is running up behind me. "Daddy look!" Juni says, holding out her hands that are now thoroughly caked in mud but hold a rock that is almost a perfectly shaped heart in the center of her palm. "Oh Juni" Jungkook chuckles, the ends of her dress now matching the state of her hands and neither Jungkook nor I can hold in our laughter.

"That's a very beautiful rock Juni! You're so clever" I say and I can see a sense of pride straighten her posture a little bit. "Juni your beautiful dress" Jungkook chuckles, clearly not minding but also trying to figure out what to do. "I'm sorry Daddy" she say, that pride slowly dwindling after seeing the mess she's made of herself.

"Hey Juni" I say, turning her attention back to me and I can see her spirits lift a little. "Would you like to see some of the clothes that I used to wear when I was your age?" I ask and her eyes light up at the thought. "Did you wear pretty dresses too?" she asks, clearly excited about seeing more new things. Her childlike wonderment makes my heart ache. Must run in the family.

"I did, but none of them were as pretty as yours. If you like, you can borrow one of mine while we wash this one" I suggest and the way her head nods up and down so fast makes me chuckle.

"Let's go to my room then! Hopefully we can find something you'll like" I say, standing up and straightening my dress while Jungkook reaches out for Juni's foot.

"Let's take your shoes off before we go back inside baby. We wouldn't want to track any mud into the pretty lady's house right?" Jungkook says, flashing a soft smile at me before looking back down to complete his intended task and Juni complies right away. 

My breath hitches as he purposefully uses the nickname Juni had given me and I quickly walk past them and open the door to go inside, trying to clear my head for a second, willing myself to keep it together.  

"Are you coming with us?" Juni asks and he nods his head, "I gotta go clean your shoes off first though" he says and I walk all three of us over to the bathroom so Jungkook can do just that as well as wash Juni's hands off.

"Wow!" is the first word that comes out of her mouth when we walk into the butterfly themed bedroom, mesmerizing her from the first glance. "Your room is so pretty!" she says, quickly running around here and there, being careful not to get too close since we haven't gotten a chance to change her dress yet.

"You like it?" I question and she's quick to nod her head again. "I wish my room looked like this" she says, spying all of the little butterfly details from the dainty embroidering on the bedspread to the knobs on the dresser, all of them working in harmony.

"We can go look for some butterfly stuff next time we go to the store if you'd like" Jungkook says while he walks into the room and right up to her while she stares up at the ceiling where there are a couple scattered across it. Nothing is too over the top but there is clearly a theme going on that she is captivated by.

"Really?" she asks, confirmation of what he's said being important to make sure she's hear him right. "Promise" he says holding out his pinky that she quickly wraps her's around as best as she can with her little ones being so tiny in comparison to his. She looks at the two of us before beckoning Jungkook to come closer so she can whisper something in his ear.

"Can the pretty lady come with us too?" she 'whispers' in his ear almost as loud as her speaking voice and I try to hold back my laughter, pretending like I didn't hear a thing. "Why don't you ask her?" he whispers and when he leans back she looks him in the eyes and he nods to further encourage her.

"Um, would you like to go shopping with us to get butterflies for my room too?" she asks, walking up to me shyly. Jungkook looks at me with a soft smile and I notice how the tips of his ears have almost gotten a little pink, his expression soft and charming but his body still showing tell tale signs of nervousness.

"Sure Juni, I'd love to go shopping with you" I say and she giggles in response while running back to her Daddy. "Can we go right now?" she asks jumping up and down. "We'll go another time don't worry baby, we've gotta set up a time so the pretty lady can go with us too right?" he reminds her and although she's sad she has to wait she nods in agreement. "Good, now let's get you out of this so we can make you all nice and clean again" he says, unzipping the back of her dress and revealing the cute little white tank top and tights that she wore under it.

I focus my attention on opening up the closet and grabbing a couple of dresses out for her to choose from. "These ones should fit. Which one would you like to wear Juni?" I say and her eyes flitter back and forth between all of them before giving her a Daddy a devious smile and hugging them to her chest. "I want all of them" she giggles and my heart melts, thinking about how fun it would be if I had a daughter just like her.

"Pick one Juni" Jungkook chuckles and she pulls back flipping through the selection I've made before her eyes light up and find the one she's dying to wear. "This one, this one!" she says, lightly holding onto the skirt and jumping up and down. I shift my grasp on them and hold out the one she chose for Jungkook to take and once he does there a static jolt of electricity that shocks us leaving the both of us pulling away slightly.

"Sorry it's probably from all the fabric of the dresses" I explain and he smiles in response. "Don't worry about it. A little spark never hurt anyone" he says and it's almost as if his voice had dropped a bit with that remark, leaving me widening my eyes a bit before turning back around and placing the dresses back in the closet. 

Why does he make me so nervous?

"Lady, lady look!" I hear from behind, and watch as Juni turns this way and that once Jungkook has finished putting the dress on her. "My goodness Juni don't you look adorable!" I say and she runs up to the the mirror in the corner of the room, watching the skirt swish this way and that. "Say thank you Ms y/n" Jungkook says, correcting Juni and finally telling her my name. She sounded too cute calling me 'the pretty lady' I just didn't have the heart to tell her otherwise.

"Thank you Ms y/n!" she says, running up to me and wrapping her arms around my legs since she is still  too small to reach anywhere else. "You're welcome Juni" I say, smiling down at her and smoothing her hair down. "Remember Juni, we're just borrowing it so we can wash your dress. We have to give it back to Ms. y/n before we leave" Jungkook says and I can see her excitement dwindle a bit but is no less thankful for being able to wear it tonight.

"Thank you for letting me borrow it Ms. y/n!" she says and I smile again, falling more and more in love with this adorable little girl with every smile she graces me with. "You're welcome" I say and she lets go of me and twirls around in it before stopping.

"Oh! I promise to be really careful and keep this one clean" she says holding out her pinky to do just as she had done with her father moments ago and I kneel down to her level and do just that before booping her on the nose causing another fit of giggles to spill out of her.

"Y/n, dinner is ready" my mother says while poking her head around the corner and I can tell she is completely satisfied by the scene that she's walked in on. "Oh Juni what a beautiful dress!" my mother says, noticing it right away, remembering it was one of my favorites. "Ms y/n gave it to me!" she says, swishing around in it again before doing a full twirl for us.

"Well aren't you the most darling little girl I've ever seen! Are you ready to eat? I heard that mashed potatoes are one of your favorite foods right?" my mom says, holding out her hand for Juni to take and she gladly does.

"Did my grandma tell you that?" she asks, clearly surprised that this complete stranger already knew something about her. "Yes she did. I hope you like them!" my mom says and Juni rushes down the hallway dragging my mom behind her. "Juni be careful!" Jungkook calls out to her but my mom just laughs it off.

"Why don't you show Jungkook where the laundry room is so you can put her dress in the washer" my mom offers up and I nod my head and look up at him. "That's okay I can just wash it when we get home" he says, politely declining the offer. "It's alright, it's best to wash it right away so it doesn't stain" I say, holding out my hand for the dress and he smiles before handing it to me and following my lead.

"You have a lovely home" he says shyly, looking this way and that taking notice of the small details just as Juni did. 'Like father like daughter' I think to myself. "It was my childhood home as you could probably tell from my old room" I say and he hums in response as I stop at the door to the laundry room.

"I know Juni is never going to stop talking about it" he chuckles and I smile at the loving tone that is always present in his voice whenever he speaks about her. We stand there in silence for a bit while I gather the various cleaning products I'll need.

"If you like, I can show you how to get stains like this out? If there was ever a day when I was her age that I didn't get some sort of dirt, mud or grass stains on my clothes my mother would write that down as a national holiday" I say and he laughs at that before accepting the offer.

"Sure, I'd like that" for some reason I can't seem to find the right words so I simply turn around and rinse off the mud in the little sink we have in here. "Do you think you could get that one for me?" I ask, nodding toward one of the stain removers. He wordlessly does as I ask and helps apply a drop or two of it to each of the areas I point out.

"I could've done that" he says now realizing how he's just standing there watching me clean his daughter's dress. "No, that's okay I offered!" I say, reassuring him that I don't mind. I wordlessly ask for the next stain remover before rubbing it in and ringing out the excess water. He opens up the washer lid for me and I toss it in and look this way and that for the laundry detergent.

"Looking for this?" he asks, pulling it off the shelf above the washer. "See, that's a perk of living on my own now. I don't have to worry about things being up too high for me anymore" I chuckle and quickly scoop in the appropriate amount and start the washer.

"Well let me know if you ever need anyone to get something that's out of your reach, it's one of the perks of being tall" he jokes and I laugh but almost shy away from the fact that he expects to see me again. "So I've heard" I say and try to put the detergent back on my own but it soon tips back over and is close to crashing down until he catches it, which in turn ends with him trapping me between him and the washer.

He slides the detergent back in it's spot and takes half a step back, giving me the smallest bit of space. "Why didn't you let me help you? I was standing right here?" he asks, tilting his head at me. "I don't know, I guess I'm just used to doing things on my own now" I chuckle awkwardly. "Well hopefully you'll get used to letting me help you soon" he says, finally taking another step back and giving me a bit more space to breathe.

"Sorry about that" I apologize awkwardly, leaning my back against the washer now with him leaning up against the wall directly in front of me and giving me a crooked smile. "Don't apologize, there's nothing wrong with being independent" he says and quickly scans my body but he does it so fast that if I would've blinked I would've missed it.

"Daddy it's time for dinner" Juni says, her soft steps not having been heard by either of us over the sound of the washer, breaking us out of the little moment that we had been having. "Okay Juni we're coming" he chuckles and holds out his hand for her to take but she giggles and dodges it, reaching for mine instead.

I squeeze past Jungkook as this little room is only wide enough for one person to walk through and the front of our bodies brush up against each other only for a moment until she's tugged me halfway out the door. "Let's be a train Daddy! Grab onto Ms. y/n's hand so you can be the caboose!" she says, turning this trip down the hallway into a game.

"Oh that's okay sweetie why don't you-" he starts but I hold out my hand for him to take, him only having refused for my sake, not wanting to make me uncomfortable with any unwanted skinship. "Grab on Daddy!" Juni giggles and I look up at him and see that he's looking down at me. He chuckles before grabbing onto my hand and the both of us are soon trailing behind Juni as she drags us to the dining room.

Once we get to the dinner table Juni lets go of my hand and runs back to where Jungkook's mom is so she can continue to help her eat her mashed potatoes. 

When everyone notices that Jungkook and I have arrived, we're greeted with four sets of eyes, all of them extremely happy to see us. It's then when I realize that we were still holding hands so I gently slide mine out of his, almost wishing I didn't have to.

He looks down at where our hands had been connected when I do and I can almost see that he's also disappointed that I let go but his expression is quickly replaced by an awkward smile aimed at our parents. 

When I look at the table I see that Jungkook and I are meant to sit directly across from each other. Which I'm sure is another one of my mother's ploys to get us to keep glancing up at each other, this time though I don't really mind.

When I go to walk to one side to sit down next to Mr. Jeon, Jungkook follows right behind me. 

"Oh did you want to sit on this side?" I ask him and he shakes his head, "No, I just wanted to pull your chair out for you" he says and I feel butterflies in my stomach. "Oh, okay" I say quietly and watch as he does just that and slides the chair in behind me once I've sat down. "Thank you" I reply, smiling up at him and he does so in return before rounding the table to take a seat in his place.

"So y/n, your mother told us that you work in photography, is that right?" she asks and I take a drink of water before responding. "Well not really, I've done a few freelance jobs here and there. Enough to keep me afloat so to say but I hope to do it full time soon!" I say and I see Jungkook perk up at that.

"Jungkook has always loved photography as well! He's always been tinkering away with cameras since he was just a few years older than Juni" his mother says while Jungkook cleans off Juni's face as it seems like she's gotten more food on her face than in her mouth.

"What subject do you usually shoot?" I ask, curious to see where his interests lie. "Mostly editorial, but I tend to enjoy the shoots a lot more when they have to do with nature. I believe beauty can be found in almost anything so I tend to just capture whatever inspires me at the moment" he says, his answer being very similar to mine.

"I feel the same way" I respond simply before shying away from the topic as I feel our parents are studying our interaction.

Once they notice the silence they decide to pick up the conversation just throwing facts about Jungkook and I back and forth, pretty much doing the getting to know you game for us without giving us much room to get a word in edgewise. Which leaves the both of us to just follow the conversation and occasionally making eye contact when either side makes a slightly embarrassing comment.

"Hey Dad" Jungkook calls out to his father over the never ending conversation they're having about us. "How's that new project at work going?" he says and I can already tell that it's one of those kinds of topics that once you get him started on it he won't stop and that's just the case as we now watch the conversation take a turn that is thankfully so far off from the two of us.

As time ticks by and the subjects change a few more times I notice that Jungkook has started to get up and clear the table to which I jump up in response to help him.

"Oh Jungkook don't worry about that I can do it later" my mother says but he shakes his head. "It's the least I could do after you've provided this wonderful dinner for my family and I" he says and I can almost see my mother swooning from his response. "Well thank you very much, sweetie can you show him where to place them, just next to the sink is fine" she says to me and I nod, looking up at him and nodding my head towards the direction of the kitchen.

Once we've gone there and back from the table a few times I decide to just start loading up the dishwasher, trying to escape that mortifying conversation for as long as I can. "I brought your glass for you. Wasn't sure if you were planning to finish it or not" he says, walking over and placing my wine glass on the counter next to me. "Thanks" I say quietly, neither of us having said a word to each other since the very beginning of that dinner.

"Your parents are really sweet" he says, breaking the ice and clearly acknowledging how obvious they all were about their motives. "Yours too. I'm sorry about tonight" I say and his brows furrow, clearly not understanding why I would need to apologize. "I knew my mom would end up doing something like this but once her mind is made up there's no stopping her" I admit and he gives me a crooked smile in response.

"Don't worry, I knew what all of them were up to too. My mother was praising you so much and telling me how beautiful and smart and respectful you are so I had an inkling that this was their plan all along" he says and I turn away from him, trying to hide my flustered expression.

"She's right you know" he says, coming around to stand next to me, leaning against the counter while I face it, cleaning up the inside of the sink and grabbing the towel next to me to dry my hands.

"Right about what?" I question, now turning to face him and noticing just how close he's gotten. "About how beautiful you are" he says and I have to blink a few times, trying to figure out why this incredibly handsome man in my kitchen is flirting with me.

I just wanna thank past me because whatever I did in my last life must've been incredible if I'm being offered up a man as remarkable as he is.

"I-" I start but am soon interrupted by my mom walking in on us. "Y/n could you- oh! I'm sorry, as you were" she says, taking small backward steps out of the kitchen, keeping hers eyes on the two of us before turning around to walk back to the living room that they had moved to.

"I'm sorry about her" I say, taking a drink of my wine but he laughs it off. "It's alright, I don't mind" he says watching me with curious eyes as I polish off the rest of it. "Juni has taken a real liking to you" he says and my heart melts at the sound of her name.

"Really? She's probably the happiest child I've ever seen. I really like her too" I say and he smiles, no doubts memories over the years flashing through his head.

"You've done a really good job raising her Jungkook" I say, and his eyes flutter back to mine, this time being the first time I've spoken his name and it looks as if just that alone brought him so much satisfaction. "Thank you y/n" he says, and I feel my heart flutter, the deep baritone of his voice sending a shiver down my spine.

"Daddy can I have some cake?" we hear as Juni walks into the kitchen, "Can I have some cake..." Jungkook says, trailing off and waiting for those magic words. "Please?" she says, realizing what he had been getting at.

"Sure baby, Ms. y/n and I will bring it out in a second okay?" he says making her smile as she runs out of the kitchen "Thank you" she calls out over her shoulder leaving the two of us laughing at her enthusiasm.

"That's probably what my mom was coming in to ask us for" I say and he nods in agreement, helping me carry everything out so we can all have a slice of the small cake my mom had gotten for tonight. "How much you want to bet that they sent Juni looking for us earlier too?" he whispers to me as we make our way over to where everyone else has gathered. "You might be right about that one" I whisper back, quickly catching onto all of their little games.

After setting the cake and all of the plates and forks down on the coffee table my mom takes on the task of cutting it up and serving it, with the very first piece going to little Miss Juni. "Thank you!" she says, eyes wide as saucers leaving all of us cooing at her. "Eat slow Juni" Jungkook reminds her, no doubt having troubles with her eating her desserts too quickly.

I take on the task of helping my mother hand out the slices and once I give one to Jungkook I finally notice that the only empty seat is right next to him and he looks down at it before looking back up at me in a silent invitation to sit down and I take it cautiously.

The couch that we're sitting on is kind of a love seat ironically, seeing as the whole theme of tonight is trying to set us up with each other.

Once I've sat down I realize that I've sat right next to him to the point of where my shoulder ended up bumping into his. "Oh! I'm sorry" I say, scooting away from him but with the size of the couch I don't really end up moving all that much. "It's okay I don't mind" he says, before taking a bite of his cake and turning to face the rest of the group.

The seven of us continue talking and talking until we notice that Juni has fallen asleep in her grandma's lap. "Here mom let me take her" Jungkook says, standing up but both my mom and his stand up and wave him off. "That's okay, we're just gonna go put her down in y/n's room" my mom says and before he's able to say otherwise they've disappeared down the hallway.

"Does she have school tomorrow?" I ask once he's settled back down. "No, she's on spring break right now until next Monday" he relays and I nod my head. "And what about you? Do you work tomorrow?" I ask and he gives me a shy smile before responding. "I had a shoot scheduled in the morning but we went ahead and pushed it to the afternoon so I don't have to worry about going home anytime soon" he says and my heart skips a beat.

"No, I mean, well I don't want to keep you for too long. You probably have other things you'd like to get done tonight?" I ask and he shakes his head. "No, this is the only thing I have planned for the night so I guess you're stuck with me" he chuckles. "I didn't mean to make you feel like I wanted you to leave I just-"

"It's okay I know what you meant" he laughs and I now take notice that we're the only ones left in the room. "Oh! Where did my dad go?" I ask, my eyes darting this way and that, not even being able to hear his voice.

"I think I heard something about them setting up the fire pit? I'm not sure but he's outside with my dad right now" he says and I spy both of them looking through the glass door before quickly ducking out of view once they realize they've been spotted.

"Maybe we should head out there" I say but he cuts off that thought by asking me a question that keeps me frozen on the spot. 

"Is there a reason why you don't want to be alone with me?" he asks, arm now having been draped around the back of the couch a while ago, completely unknown to me making this all seem a lot more intimate than before.

"Who said that?" I chuckle nervously, clearing my throat before sinking back into my seat. "You just did" he says, nodding towards me and I feel like I want to crawl in a hole and die. I thought I could escape this night without being awkward like this but I guess not.

"You trying to get rid of me?" he teases and I shake my head right away, "No I'm sorry I just-" "It's okay, I'm only joking" he says and I laugh nervously. "So why don't you tell me about yourself?" he says, giving me the most open ended question ever and I scramble to find something but I just can't seem to come up with anything interesting enough to mention.

"Well, my parents pretty much said everything there is to know about me over dinner earlier" I say and he shakes his head. "I want to hear something about you from you. Like what are some of your hope, your dreams, something you're passionate about" he says, being a little more specific this time.

"My dreams?" I trail off, thinking for a second and he watches me as I wrack my brain for something notable. "It's kind of silly" I admit once I've settled on something. "Good thing I've got a sense of humor" he replies, trying to encourage me to continue. 

"Well, I've always wanted one of my photos to be on the cover of TIME magazine" I admit and see his eyes light up. "I have a similar dream" he says and my eyes widen in surprise turning my body to face him, wordlessly asking him to share his too. 

"I'd like one of mine to end up on the cover of National Geographic" he relays and I smile in turn. "That would be perfect for you! Well, since the subject you love to capture the most is nature I could definitely see your work fitting right in!" I say, excited to see someone else who's trying to aim as high as I am.

"And I could see yours being a shoe in for TIME as well" he says, and I shy away from his praise. "Okay and what's something you're passionate about, and don't say photography" he says, interrupting me causing me to slump down, having to take another second to come up with an answer. 

He chuckles a bit at my reaction and I glare at him causing him to smile at me even more so look up to the celling as if it had the answers to something interesting about me. 

"Well, I really love reading. I know it might not seem like a passion but when I read a really good book and I find someone who has read it or will at least let me talk about it it's as if I gain a boost of energy and can't contain my excitement. That's definitely the nerdy side of me showing but that's all I can really think of at the moment" I say honestly and when I look back at him it's as if he thought I was the most fascinating thing he's ever seen. 

"Sorry, I think I got a little carried away there" I say, getting shy from being looked at like that, his soft gaze an expression I'm not used to, especially from someone I just met. "Um, your turn" I say, hoping to get some of the spotlight off of me. 

"I know this might be cheating but I do enjoy taking video and editing them. Even if it were as simple as filming Juni for an afternoon, it's something that if given the chance, would be something I could be extremely passionate about" he says and although it is cheating since it's somewhat similar to photography, I'll let it slide. 

"Have you thought about switching up your profession to include video as well as pictures?" I ask and he nods before answering. "I have but I haven't taken enough time to seriously consider it. Juni is still young and I want to make sure I have a stable income in order to take care of her and if I'm being honest I feel almost as if a career change could jeopardize that" he says and I watch him with the same intent that he had given me and he too seems to shy away from it. 

"It's silly since it would probably be a seamless transition but I can't help but feel reservations towards it" he says and I place my hand on top of his that's in his lap. 

"It's normal for a parent to worry about providing for their child. I don't think it's silly at all and it shows how much you truly care about Juni and her well being. She's lucky to have you as her father" I say and he cringes only for a moment before his expression goes back to a softer one. I want to ask what would've warranted a reaction like that but I leave it alone. 

"Okay your turn, what is something you hope for?" he asks and I already know the answer to it but I'm hesitant to say. I take a second to try and figure out how to formulate it properly but decide to just go for it. 

"I hope to be a mother and have children of my own someday. Doesn't matter if it's naturally or through adoption, I just hope to have someone I can love and care for unconditionally and watch them as they grow and change and pray I'll receive that love and care back from them" I say and he gives me a wary expression and I quickly try to backtrack, not knowing if I've messed up or not. 

"I'm sorry that was probably extremely insensitive of me" I say, pulling away my hand but he holds onto it and gives me a sad smile before responding. "I think you would be a wonderful mother. If you were to give your children even half the time and attention you've given to Juni today they would still be incredibly lucky to call you their mother" he says, reassuring me that it's okay to talk about these topics around him. 

"Last one?" I question, seeing if he's up to telling me something he's hopeful for. "I just hope that no matter what my family and friends stay happy and healthy. It might be simple but I enjoy the simple things in life" he says and I smile, seeing how truly kind and compassionate he is just from his simple answer. "That's a good answer" I say and we both chuckle a bit before we're broken out of yet again another moment by the sound of our mothers stumbling into the room. 

"Oh don't let us bother you we're just going to head outside with your father" Jungkook's mom says to him and I can see now from the warm glow shining through the glass door that they've finally started up the fire pit. 

"Oh we'll come outside too!" I say and try to get up off the loveseat. I'm able to stand but immediately lose my balance and feel a strong set of hands on my hips and end up falling into Jungkook's lap. "I-" I start, turning towards him and trying to get out an apology but stop short when I see how close his face is to mine, our noses almost touching. 

I hear our mothers head outside quickly and close the door but neither of us pay any mind, both focused on each other to the point where neither of us move for what feels like forever but was only a matter of seconds. When I do try to get up I feel his grip on me tighten. 

"I'm s-sorry, this couch is always difficult to get off of" I explain and he smiles. "Like I said before, you have nothing to apologize for" he says, his voice a bit deeper than before and it takes every fiber of my being to stop myself from looking at his lips but when I see his flutter down to mine I can't help but do the same. 

"Daddy, why is Ms. y/n sitting on your lap?" we hear Juni say and I immediately get off of him and throw my face in my hands, trying to hide the embarrassment written all over me but Jungkook handles it like a champ. 

"Ms. y/n just fell down Juni and I caught her. You know how I catch you sometimes before you fall?" he offers and she walks over to us, rubbing her eyes and immediately climbing onto Jungkook's lap. "Oh okay" she says, yawning again after Jungkook places a kiss on the crown of her head. 

"Do you wanna go see the fire that grandpa and Ms. y/n's dad made?" he asks and she hums in approval, still half asleep but wanting to go outside with everyone. "Okay let's go" he says, standing up with Juni in one arm and holding his hand out to help me up. I glare up at him and he smiles, knowing he's added to my embarrassment but I take his hand anyways and he makes no moves to let go once I'm up on my feet, walking us all towards the back door. 

Once we're outside though that's when he lets go so he can hold Juni properly while he walks down the patio steps so we can get to the fire pit. 

"Juni woke up?" his mother asks and Jungkook nods. "Yeah she wanted to come outside with everyone even though she is still very very sleepy" he says, talking in a silly sweet voice that makes Juni pout although her eyes are still closed. "I'm not sleepy" she says mid yawn causing me to coo at her and when she realizes I'm still close by she sits up off of Jungkook's chest and reaches towards me. 

I look between her and Jungkook for a second and he nods his head in approval and hands her to me, grabbing a chair afterwards for me to sit on and pulling up another one next to mine and looks over at Juni to see she's practically sound asleep again. "Are you okay with her?" he asks and I hum in approval leaving him placing another kiss on Juni's head before leaning back in his chair. 

"So Jungkook, what do you think of my daughter?" my mother asks and Jungkook chokes on air, not expecting the straightforward question. "Mom!" I scold and she chuckles, "What? It's a simple question. No need to give a complex answer, unless he wants to" she teases and I swear I can even hear Jungkook's dad chuckling at my mother's antics. 

They couldn't make it more obvious that they're trying to set us up even if they tried. 

My dad luckily somewhat comes to Jungkook's aide and hands him a bottle of water to hopefully help him stop coughing which it does thankfully.

He takes a second to clear his throat and I would be lying if I said I wasn't on edge, waiting to hear what his answer might be. "I think she is a very kind hearted and very intelligent young woman" he says simply and the echos of him calling me beautiful earlier on tonight attach to the end of that. 

"And would you like to see her again?" she continues and he then looks over at me, giving me a soft smile and glancing down at Juni before looking me in the eyes again. "We've already planned to see each other again" he says, memories of Juni's invitation to the butterfly shopping trip fluttering through my mind again. 

"Did you hear that? Jungkook has already asked to see her again" my mom says, calling over to Jungkook's mom as if she hadn't been listening the whole time. "Well technically Juni asked if I could go shopping with them" I explain and Jungkook chuckles. "Juni is a very smart girl" my mother compliments and Jungkook and I can't help but laugh. 

The rest of the night flies by and before I know it we're already standing in the doorway saying goodbye. "It's was so nice seeing you again y/n! I hope to be seeing you again soon" Jungkook mom says, winking at me. "Oh come on honey leave the girl alone" Jungkook's dad says, coming to my aide and saying his goodbyes as well. 

Jungkook's parents say a quick goodbye to Jungkook and Juni as well since they came in separate cars and I notice after that my dad pulls Jungkook aside and says something that I regretfully can't make out. Luckily he doesn't seem bothered by it as they smile and shake hands before my dad pats him on the back, sending him off with I can only assume is well wishes. 

Jungkook says goodbye to my mother and I can tell how much she's praising him, he thanks her for everything and makes his way over to me a few moments later and it's almost as if it was a ghost town with only Jungkook and I in the entryway now, with him holding a still very sleepy Juni in his arms. 

"Thank you for coming, I know this was probably a lot for you" I say, rocking back and forth on my heels and he smiles before answering. "I had fun, and I know Juni did too" he says and I can feel my heart skip a beat, "I did too" I reply shyly. He reaches into his pocket and unlocks his phone before handing it to me.

"Do you think I could have your number? You know, so we can set up that shopping day soon? I know Juni won't be able to stop talking about it until we go" he says, turning into what I could only describe as a shy teenage boy, asking his crush for her number. "Sure" I say, putting it in and calling my number so I have his too. 

"Let me know when you get home safe" I say and place my hand on Juni's back and whisper a quick goodbye which regrettably stirs her awake and I mouth a quite sorry to Jungkook but he smiles in response. 

"Wanna say goodbye to Ms. y/n?" Jungkook asks and she nods her head before opening her eyes and leaning towards me to give me a kiss on the cheek leaving me speechless. "Goodnight pretty lady" she mumbles before laying back down on Jungkook's chest. He chuckles after seeing my reaction and gives Juni a kiss on her head in response. 

"Goodnight y/n" he whispers to me and I send him the same sentiment, walking him to the door and watching as he walks over to his car while he puts Juni in her carseat. He looks back to see if I'm still watching and smiles at me again before getting in his car and driving off. 

"So should I schedule an appointment with the caterers tomorrow or...?" I hear my mother say behind me, making me jump before taking a few steps back into the house and closing the door. "Very funny mom" I say, walking over to the living room and plopping down on the couch Jungkook and I had been sharing a couple hours ago. 

"What's wrong? He's a nice man isn't he? Plus his daughter seems like she loves you! Why don't you give it a shot?" she asks and I sigh, sinking further back into the couch. "I don't know, I just don't want to get my hopes up" I mumble and she sits next to me, placing a comforting hand on my thigh. "What makes you say that?" she asks curiously.

"It's almost as if he's too perfect. He's handsome, charming, charismatic, a great dad and I don't know, he just seems too good to be true" I admit and she nods her head, understanding my hesitation. "Everyone puts their best foot forward when they're meeting someone for the first time. Just go out with him and Juni in a few days and keep an open mind. It's not the fact that he has Juni that's holding you back right?" she questions, trying to figure out what exactly has got me doubting. 

"No not at all! If anything Juni is an added bonus" I say truthfully and she smiles at me. "Good, because I think she's already become very attached to you" she says and I nod my head. "Yeah I think I have too" I mumble and she claps her hands, jolting me out of my train of thought. 

"Now all we have to do is get a ring attached to that finger and the three of you can live happily ever after" she says, getting up to clean up the cake plates that sit on the coffee table in front of us. 

"Mom" I groan and she laughs, "I want some beautiful grandchildren and if that handsome young man can't help you give them to me then I don't know who could" she continues leaving me sighing, not bothering to argue back since she is definitely right about that one. 

I hear my phone chime in my purse moments later after I walk into my bedroom to gather up my things to go back home and see a message from an unknown number but check my call log and see that the numbers match up from when I called myself off Jungkook's phone. 

I quickly add him to my contacts before opening up our chat and see a short but sweet message from him. 

'Home safe and sound. Thanks for having us tonight. Hope to see you soon?' he sends with a question mark at the end, clearly still wanting to double check on if I'll actually want to see them again. I wait a few seconds, my thumbs hovering over the keyboard before finally composing a message and hitting send before I chicken out. 

'See you soon Jungkook. I really enjoyed getting to know you and Juni. Looking forward to shopping for butterflies together!' I say and cringe once I reread it. 'Ugh could I possibly sound more desperate?' I say to myself and toss my phone on the bed, sitting down at the computer chair across from it. 

A minute later I hear another message come in and I practically lunge for the phone, praying I didn't weird him out but moments later I feel heat rushing to my cheeks and have to will myself into not squealing.

'We're counting down the minutes until we can see you again. Let's talk tomorrow and set up a date and time'  he says and I rush to respond. 

'Sounds great! Goodnight Jungkook'  I say, ending the conversation before I end up embarrassing myself even more but before I can even lock my phone his message pops up. 

'Goodnight y/n, sweet dreams' the message is so simple but it still makes me smile. 

"Is that Jungkook texting you?" my mom asks, poking her head into the room and I quickly lock my phone and grab my purse. "Yes it is, goodnight mom" I say, walking past her and straight to the front door with her trailing after me. "Oh come on sweetie you know I'm just teasing you. I really think he's going to be a good match for you" she says and I turn to face her before I leave. 

"I really hope so. Say goodnight to dad for me" I say giving her a kiss on the cheek and getting in my car to drive home. 

~~~~

Once I walk in I'm greeted again by Salem and he walks up, waiting for me to pick him up. "You're such a little baby you know that?" I chuckle and he meows in response. 

I follow the same routine as I always do, carrying him with me into my room and rambling off to him about my day before hopping in the shower but this time I have a lot more to say, leaving me wasting half the hot water and causing me to have to finish up the last bit of my shower in a freezing cold stream. 

After finishing up and finally settling into bed I lay down and Salem curls up next to me. "Things might be changing around here boy. I only hope they're for the better, what do you think?" I ask after having told him everything and I'm met with the feeling of him purring and if that isn't a good sign then I don't know what is. 

"I hope he likes cats" I say, giving him one last pet before turning off the light and for the first time in a very long time I can finally say I've gone to sleep feeling content. The last thought that runs through my head is one that helps me fall asleep with a soft smile on my face. 

I can't wait to see him again...

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[ahundredtimesover]

Something About You (02) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: friends au, vacation au, slow burn, romcom-ish vibe; adulting; inspired by AYS; PE teacher!JK and researcher!OC; fluff, comfort, smut (?)

Chapter Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption, talks of cheating (JK’s ex), minor injury (18+)

Word count: 9k

Series Masterlist

Status: Ongoing

Series Summary: You and Jungkook have been friends for a decade. And while he’s the charming and dependable, often reserved boy-next-door, he’s also just been a friend - a constant in your life, a part of a whole, and someone who’s seen all the flawed and probably unattractive sides of you.

A resumption of your friend group’s out-of-town trips has caused you to spend more time with him. And somewhere in between the morning coffee in the forest, running around in the snow, and watching the sunset on a boat, he’s become something more. And you’re not quite sure how to deal with it.

🎶: Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney || Yes or No by Jungkook

Despite your busy schedule, the week flies by painfully slow. You’re thankful to Mo-eum for checking on you and accompanying you to dinner on some days. Otherwise, you wouldn’t get off your laptop screen and actually eat. With the questions given to you in advance, you’ve also been practicing your answers for the panel discussion.

To be able to share your research to a group of people who’ll find the value in it and understand what you and your team went through to get it done is a big deal to you. More than anything, you just want to be able to give justice to the stories of the community you worked with; you want to shed light on who they are and what they’re experiencing.

Saturday finally comes, and after you grab a quick lunch after a field visit, you head home and get your power suit on then wait for Jungkook to arrive.

He’s in high spirits when you enter the car. His students won yesterday’s round of the swim meet again and they’ll be going into regionals next Friday. You’re elated for him, as he gets to share something he loves for the young people he truly feels passionate about.

You know about Jungkook's youth being all about sports. He wanted to become a professional athlete and growing up, he played everything he could. He was a taekwondo black belter and he excelled in swimming and track and field. He thought he’d go to the National Sports University to become an Olympian, but something changed in his senior year of high school. 

One day he just decided he wanted to be a spectator of the sports he loves instead of being in the midst of it. The passion dwindled, he’d said. He was a late applicant to your university and took up Sports Science. He still enjoyed swimming so he joined the varsity team and won local competitions, but that was as far as he wanted to go. He eventually chose a teaching path over being a therapist in honor of his mother who’s also a teacher, and suddenly his desire to share his love for sports with kids like him just grew.

He talks about his students with such joy. It’s definitely different from the way you talk about your passion with such anger and intensity but like he’d said not long ago, you’re both changing lives anyway. Anger can do that. So can patience and commitment. 

You let him talk about his classes to calm yourself down, and you learn that it’s easy with him. You don’t spend time alone with Jungkook as much as you do with Jimin or Taehyung, and you’re finding his presence to be comforting. 

It’s mixed with teasing and nonsense talk and encouraging words. He makes fun of you one minute then tells you to stop biting your lips the next. He makes you play rock-paper-scissors and pinches your cheek when you lose, then goes to a drive-thru to get you a drink and a pastry, even if you insist there’ll be lots of food at the event. 

“I bet you’ll be too anxious to eat before you go on,” he shrugs. “Just get something in your stomach.”

So you agree and nibble on the tarts he buys. The 75-minute drive ends and he drops you off at the conference center. He says he’ll find a cafe or a park to hang out in and that he’ll just wait until you finish. 

You go through your panel discussion and engage in really good discourse with your peers. You feel that flutter in your chest the more you talk about your work and its importance in today’s social and political landscape. 

You stay there for four hours. It’s enough time to entertain other attendees who ask more about your research and to make new networks that’ll be beneficial to your research teams moving forward. You only intended to stay a while so you message Jungkook and let him know you’re ready to go. 

It’s 6:30 PM when he picks you up, and you breathe out a long exhale both in relief and in exhaustion.

“I’m sure you did well. You can take a nap if you want. All the talking and worrying must’ve drained you,” he says.

“It did,” you yawn. “Choose whatever restaurant you want. Just wake me up when we get there.”

Jungkook nods and watches you immediately fall asleep, with your arms reflexively crossing against your chest, as if you’re hugging yourself. You rarely snore loudly but you do this time; it tells him just how tired you really are. He records it for future use, but he can’t help but look at you fondly at how much you give yourself to the things you do.

You’re deep in dreamland when you suddenly feel tapping on your head, then your nose, then a pinch on your cheek. An annoying sing-song voice urges you to wake up. 

You curse under your breath. 

“Is that how you thank your chauffeur?” Jungkook laughs. “Wipe your crusty eyes. We’re here.”

You wake up to find yourself outside a Japanese hotpot place that you remember him talking about last week. You’re surprised he didn’t choose something more expensive, as Jimin and Taehyung tend to take advantage of you paying when you treat them out, but you suppose Jungkook is different in that sense.

“This is dinner,” he says. “There’s a dessert place not far from here.”

“Do I treat you there, too?” You cock an eyebrow.

“Yup. A meal isn’t complete without dessert.”

He flashes you his cheeky, bunny smile.

Never mind. They’re all the same, you think to yourself.

“Fine. That place better be good.”

As you expected, both are insanely delicious. Jungkook’s a foodie and you knew that he wouldn’t waste this free meal for something he’s not sure he’d like. 

He took charge of the hotpot earlier. You don’t recall your bowl being empty and that’s another thing you’re not surprised about him. He likes making sure other people enjoy their food just as much as he enjoys eating.

Your conversations during dinner about your respective weeks continue over dessert. 

His mornings are packed with PE classes for middle and high school kids. In the afternoons, he coaches the swim and track teams on alternate days. In between all of that, he organizes sporting events, facilitates intra-school competitions, makes sure the gyms are well-maintained, and occasionally deals with students with behavioral issues because he’s apparently good at managing them, and they seem to trust him, too. 

He crashes when he gets home, wakes up in time to prepare his dinner, goes back to sleep, then does it all over again the next day. Weekends are really his only time to do things for himself - swim in the community pool, play his video games, or go to the gym. 

“Sorry I hijacked your one other day of leisure and rest,” you sigh, as you finish the last of the black sesame cheesecake. 

“Nah, all good. It was nice to go out for a drive. It’s relaxing for me,” he explains. “Except for when my passenger spends the entirety of it snoring but that’s fine, too.”

You kick his shin in response and he’s used to your violence by now. He barely feels anything anyway. 

“But really, thank you, Kook.”

“Friends do nice things for each other,” he smiles. “Plus, I’m sure there have been times over the years when I wasn’t there for you when I should have been.”

“Such as?”

“I don’t know, maybe after your breakups or when you were getting burnout from your other job,” he shrugs. “Maybe even recently when you were so stressed with work.”

It’s a thought he had this past week, as your conversations last weekend triggered memories of your friendship. You’re a constant, as all his other friends are, but you always existed as part of the whole. 

Within your smaller group, you’re the one he’s spent the least time with the most. He and Jimin have been friends since middle school and shared an apartment during university, which Taehyung crashed everyday. He and Mo-eum had a few classes together and he often asked her to teach him First Aid and other things to do during an emergency.    

You were always busy and when you weren’t, he was. He knows the struggles you went through personally and professionally, but somehow hearing you talk about them at this point in your lives made you seem a little unfamiliar to him even if he was already used to you. It’s as if he’s experiencing you and your friendship on its own for the first time, and that’s made him think that perhaps he should’ve been a better friend to you.

“Kook, we were both going through breakups at the same time,” you remind him. “I never expected you to deal with my shit when you were dealing with your own. Plus, you’re literally the one with the stressful job. You deal with kids, parents, other teachers… that’s a lot to handle. We’ve been there for each other every time we could.”

“I guess,” he smiles, appreciative of the assurance.

“For all I know, there have been times when I also haven’t been there for you when I should’ve been,” you point out. 

Come to think of it, there may have been instances when you were too caught up in your own issues to even ask him if he was doing okay.

“Remember the party the night after our graduation?” He asks, softening at the memory. “You kept dancing around me and I remember thinking you were just drunk and being a weirdo but I found out later on that Joo-yun was there and you were trying to make sure that she didn’t see me.”

“Yeah because if she did, she would’ve tried to talk to you and you said you were done with her shit. Keeping her away from all of us was the sane thing to do. I was scared they’d take back my diploma if I pulled her hair because I really wanted to do that,” you frown, remembering how that bitter woman was trying to look for him and you wanted to make sure that Jungkook didn’t have to deal with her again.

“And that last night at your apartment when I told everyone about Si-an…” He continues. “I was drunk but I clearly remember hearing you hatch a plan to go to her apartment and egg her car.”

You both burst into laughter. Twenty-five year old you was  kind of a bitch.

“It was supposed to be her face but I didn’t want to get sued. That’s her money-maker after all,” you explain. “But you know me, Kook. I get angry a lot.”

“I know. And it’s not always a bad thing,” he says. 

“Well, whatever happened or didn’t happen during those times, what matters is that we get to do good friend things for each other this time, right?” You smile. “Although you’ve been doing more of that recently with the driving and all.”

“Hey, you helped me with the research I needed for the youth wellbeing plan that the school asked me to do not long ago.”

“That just took me like, an hour,” you shrug.

He playfull rolls his eyes. He knows you put effort on that regardless. 

But you accept his thanks and assure him that he can always go to you for help in that area.

You finish the last of your drinks and dessert and Jungkook drives you home. 

Your night ends with the relief of the hot shower and your cozy bed.

His night ends with the warmth of the rare hug you give him and the sting of your pinch of his cheek.

It's next Friday when you find a chance to be there for Jungkook this time. Although you doubt he needs you, you think that showing your support would do good for team morale.

You’d just finished an offsite meeting and rushed to the school that you heard the swimming competition will take place. Jungkook’s students made it to the next round after last week’s win, and placing today would mean they’ll have a chance to compete in the nationals. 

You make your way to the bleachers and spot him huddling the kids and giving an impassioned pep talk. You don’t think you’ve ever seen this side of him and it’s nice to witness the often quiet, sometimes cheeky boy you know show this much emotion and intensity.

He finally looks up and spots you, waving eagerly at him in your corporate attire and looking a bit out of place, but somehow you fit right in. He smiles as he waves back and points to one of his kids taking position. 

You cheer for each one and even get the crowd to yell louder when Jungkook’s team places in a race. You’re not really sure how this goes but his students have been performing well and you just keep hollering to encourage them.

Jungkook laughs from where he stands on the bench, even more so when he overhears one of his students remark that he didn’t know they had fans.

“Do we know her?” Another one asks as he gestures towards you.

“I do,” Jungkook hums. “She’s a friend.”

“You’re not even competing,” another one comments.

“Well, she’s cheering for me. And I’m part of your team so that means she’s cheering for you, too,” Jungkook smiles now. 

His students look at you and wave, and you excitedly wave back. Your cheers seem to pump them up, as they all place, earning the team enough points to advance to the next round. 

You meet them after awarding and introduce yourself as the loud auntie. 

“We were surprised because no one ever cheers that loud for us,” one of the kids says. “But Coach said you’re his friend and you’re cheering for him which means you’re cheering for us, too.”

“Well, Coach Jeon cares about all of you and he’s my friend which means I care about you guys as well,” you smile. “But you all did really great out there. I’m sure you’ll do amazing next week.”

“Will you be there again?” One of them asks.

“I will,” you say. “Maybe a few of our other friends, too.”

They look excited and promise that they’ll train even harder. You bid them goodbye and walk with Jungkook to his car, reminding him that you still don’t have yours. It prompts him to tease that you probably only came today so he could drive you home.

“I can find my way, excuse you,” you stick out your tongue. “But a ride wouldn’t be bad.”

“Why did you come, anyway?”

“My meeting ended early. Plus, you were talking about how excited your students were,” you respond. “You did a lot to improve the school’s swimming program and you’re literally their coach, their biggest cheerleader. You need one, too. And that’s me.”

“Thanks,” he hums, flashing you his dimpled smile this time. “That’s actually pretty sweet.”

“Good friend things,” you remind him. 

“So you’re really watching again next week?”

“Yeah! My schedule seems fine. Plus, the crowd’s really interesting,” you say. “I was talking to the women who were there for their sons and brothers from the other teams and they were gushing about the young Coach of the other school who was really handsome.”

“Oh, really? And did you agree?”

“Hmm, I said he was alright,” you shrug.

Jungkook laughs and accepts the honesty. He turns on the engine and turns to you.

“So, where to?”

“This barbecue place,” you say. “Jimin and Tae are meeting us there and Mo-eum will follow after her shift. So let’s go. We’re celebrating you tonight.”

Jungkook’s team was a few points away from placing in the nationals but none of the students, as well as him, was any bit disappointed. They worked hard and went as far as they could; even they didn’t expect to make it all the way here. 

But Jungkook did. Despite his own concerns about stepping up at the start of the year after the head coach took an emergency leave, he knew the potential of his students. They did the sport for fun, but he saw how they committed themselves to it, how they disciplined themselves, and how they trusted and encouraged each other. 

That final competition was a memorable one, especially as he had all of his friends supporting his students who received the loudest cheers from the audience. You managed to get everyone to attend on a Friday afternoon, and when Jungkook thanked you for showing up when you didn’t have to, you teased him by saying that you “did it for the kids.”

The soft smile you gave told him that was only partly true.

That night ended with dinner and drinks with everyone and an unspoken promise between the two of you that you’ll try to be there for each other more this time around. 

That was two weeks ago and he’s hung out with you three times since then. He clocked out later than usual one Wednesday and randomly texted you, and you both ended up having dinner at a noodle house. 

The Saturday after that, you all went to Taehyung’s apartment. You fell asleep, woke up at 2AM, and found Jungkook was still there because your friend insisted that he take you home. 

A few days later, you were craving kebabs and messaged Jungkook, who was always good at finding the best restaurants and food stalls. So you went to one in another neighborhood and stayed until closing.

It’s another Friday night and you, Jungkook, Jimin, and Mo-eum decided to indulge Taehyung and go to this Club to relive your early twenties when you all used to do this almost every week. 

Once you enter, you’re hit with the reality that you are definitely no longer built the same way, as the dress with the heels ensemble doesn't feel that bearable anymore. The crowd is at least around your age, and the place is a lot more sophisticated than you’re used to. The music has more of a chill vibe, and not the EDM sound that nowadays gives you headaches. 

You’d much rather be elsewhere but you spend some of your nights like this because you want to be with your friends and tonight, at least three of them want to let loose and have fun. 

Taehyung is socializing like always while Jimin and Mo-eum are dancing and taking shots on the dance floor. You were doing that earlier, too, but your legs started giving in and you asked Jungkook to not leave you at the cocktail table so you don’t look like a complete loser, hanging out by yourself. 

“Not your ideal Friday night anymore, huh?” Jungkook whispers in your ear over the music. “You look so done with everything.”

“My feet hurt,” you pout. “I wanna drink some more but it’s so loud and so… busy. So many things are happening.”

“We can always–”

“Jungkook?”

It takes a while for the voice to register. It’s been years and it’s something he’s tried hard to forget but once he places it, the mixed feeling of anger and sadness comes rushing in. There are many things he never got to tell her, mostly because everything was so sudden and he just tried to bury it all in hopes of never having to deal with them again. 

But the universe fucks with him sometimes and tonight just happens to be the night when it does.

“Uh, Si-an…” he finally says, the sound of her name tasting bitter off his lips. “Hey.”

“It’s so good to see you,” she says, eyeing him up and down. “It’s been so long! I saw you from the bar and thought you looked familiar and wow, you’ve… you’ve changed a lot. In a good way, of course. It’s so weird because I was thinking about you the other day and I was wondering how you were doing. I wanted to message you and ask—”

“Seriously?”

You wish your tone expressed how pathetic you think she sounds right now and her incredulous face tells you it probably did.

“Oh, you’re here,” she glares at you, her eyes looking offended at your mere presence. “And so are your friends,” she grudgingly says after looking around the Club.

“Is that a problem?” You ask, crossing your arms and moving closer to eye her up and down.

“Let’s just say… you’re not exactly the most pleasant people out there,” she replies.

“Aww, well. We tend to be like that to snakes and shitty people,” you sneer. “And don’t worry, we think the same way about you. Kinda surprised you even have the nerve to walk up here and talk to him after everything you did but then again, I guess being pathetic knows no limits.”

You can tell this provoked her, as her already irritated face distorts into anger but you’re unsure what else she has to say. She’s the one who messed up in the first place.

“Look, you may be friends with Jungkook but you don’t know me to be making claims like that. Whatever—”

“I know you enough. That shit you did says everything about you,” you interject, feeling your blood boiling to a high degree by now with how she thinks she even has a defense. Like she even has the right.

You feel like you’ve really pushed her buttons, as she rolls her eyes and flips her hair as if she’s someone important and you’re not even worth her time. You know she’s about to say something completely stupid and you telepathically apologize to Jungkook for the person you’ll become once that happens.

“You have no right to talk about my relationship with Jungkook,” she bites back. “We had our issues but we loved each other. Things happen and people make mistakes. He was busy and I needed—”

“Oh. Don’t even go there. You know what you did, Si-an,” you warn, your voice getting louder and more pointed now. “Don’t you dare trivialize or justify it. That was all on you so don’t come around here and act like you actually care.”

“You’re the one who seems to be caring too much!” She chides. “Why? You want to impress him by humiliating me? By showing him you can do better? Is that what you’re trying to prove?”

You shake your head in disbelief. You’ve dealt with people like this - the ones who deflect, the ones who can’t deal with the consequences of their actions, and those who think they can just get away with shitty behavior because of who they are. And well, you’ve got to admit she’s still as pretty as she was and she knows it; she’s not a model for no reason.

But still, you can’t stand her accusing you of stupid shit and taking everything she did to your friend this lightly.

“You know what? I actually feel sorry for you,” you sigh. “You finally get to date a good guy for once and then you mess it all up. Jungkook’s one of the nicest people in this messed up world and you know this, but you treated him like crap because you think you could and then get away with it. And now what, a couple of douchebags later you realize what you let go of and you regret it all? You get what you deserve. And you stopped deserving him the moment you betrayed him so cut the crap. No one’s falling for your shit this time.”

You’re panting by the time you finish, as the pent up anger from all these years reaches its boiling point. They may have dated for only a year but you knew Jungkook cared a lot about her. Even if she clung to him like glue whenever he brought her along, you respected their relationship enough to not meddle, although you knew that Jimin and Taehyung had hinted how uncomfortably clingy she was. 

He seemed content. And then she cheated, and that was just inexcusable. 

You remember how sullen Jungkook looked when he announced the breakup, and how he couldn’t properly narrate how he found out. You always thought it affected him so much that he never really talked about her in the three years since then, except when you were at the cabin not long ago. And even then, it wasn’t really much. You can’t imagine what it’s like to be betrayed like that, and for a tender-hearted man like him, you suppose it hits that much harder. 

And so knowing how he’s kept it all in and then seeing her act like what she did was worthy of forgiveness or even another chance, it makes you sick. You’re not about to just stand around and watch her trivialize what she did, so you gave her a piece of your mind, which you think is quite overdue. 

Si-an looks truly offended; she can’t even look in your direction.

“I don’t have to deal with you,” she manages to say, annoyance laced in her voice. 

“Good, because we’re just about to leave,” you say. 

You turn towards the left where the exit door is, not wanting to be anywhere near her, either. But then she speaks again.

“Jungkook, I meant what I said that I’ve been wondering how you are. There’s so much I want to say and I was hoping we could talk.”

Your gaze stays on him, wondering what he’ll do this time. You know he has self-respect that he won’t bend to her will and give her a chance to say whatever she thinks still needs to be said, but your heart still stops at the possibility of him still doing that.

“It’s too late for that, Si-an,” he utters. “I don’t really have anything to say to you. Have a good life.”

Then he grabs his coat hanging over the chair and walks towards you.

“Let’s go,” he gestures towards the door. “Kinda don’t wanna be here anymore.”

You grab onto his wrist to not lose him in the crowd and manage to get down to the lobby of the building unscathed. It’s nearing 12 AM and the Club is just about to get more full, and you know Jungkook enough that he won’t want to be around people after what happened. 

Getting out on the street, you spot a convenience store. He looks a little dazed and you think a different environment is good for both of you at this moment.

“I’ll just buy a bottle of water over there. Is it okay?” You ask.

“Yeah, sure,” he responds, walking to the dangerous side of the sidewalk next to you.

It’s just a block away but you’re reminded of how painful your feet are, now that the adrenaline has waned a bit. He notices and holds your arm for support. You mumble your thanks and sit on the first stool you see and sigh in relief.

He chuckles as he looks at you.

“I’ll get the water,” he says before heading inside.

He returns with two bottles of them, ice cold, and sits across from you. You watch as his eyes flick from one side of the street to another and sip his drink. You’re unsure what’s going on in his mind but yours are flashbacks of what happened just minutes ago and how you lost your cool and called out his ex-girlfriend. Which you now realize you maybe shouldn’t have done.

“I’m so sorry,  Kook,” you finally say, covering your face and bowing your head. 

“For what?” He asks.

“For crossing a line and saying all those things to her.”

“You mean, for telling her all the things I wish I should have?” He replies, prompting you to look up and see his soft smile. 

“When all of that happened, I felt like there was nothing more to say to her,” he says after a beat of silence. “But seeing her again, knowing she wanted to talk now? Maybe there was something to be said, and I kinda just froze and you swept in and said all of that, much more eloquently than I probably would’ve been able to,” he hums. “So thanks, ___. I felt a big load off my chest because of that.”

“That’s a relief,” you sigh. “I couldn’t stand her acting all apologetic and risk her rekindling things with you. But do you believe her? About wanting to talk to you?”

“Somewhat,” he nods. “I blocked her number and unfollowed her everywhere on social media but she was trying to send a message on Instagram the other day so maybe she was honest about that.”

“And you’re not curious about what she wants to tell you?” You wonder.

“Nope. I caught up with a friend who still sees her posts and he said she’s had a couple of boyfriends since the breakup so what you said about reaching out to me a couple of douchebags later… that seemed accurate. I wouldn’t have thought of it that way.”

“Oh wow. I mean, I just made that up but I wouldn’t put it past her to be like that,” you shake your head. “She really might be trying to get you back, then.”

“Her boyfriends before me didn’t really treat her well, so maybe it’s the same this time.”

You know enough that in many cases, that pattern of relationships is rooted in some kind of pain. And you feel a tiny bit bad for Si-an if that’s the case. Jungkook might’ve been really the only one who ever treated her right.

“It’s not your responsibility anymore. You don’t have to deal with whatever she has going on, whatever it is,” you advise. 

“I don't want to anyway. What she did… that changes a person,” he sighs. “It’s not an easy thing to get over.”

He sees your somber face and thinks that with you seeing him like this, he might as well tell you everything.

“The night I caught her with that guy, she got emotional. She’d been drinking and it was her defense but it also made her more honest,” he continues. “That… that wasn’t the first time.”

“What the f—” you start, although you doubt any other curse word would suffice. 

“So yeah, that’s why it was hard to talk about and why I just wanted to forget about it. A part of me wanted to know why she did that. One time was something but more than once? That’s messed up.”

“You know, maybe I was too nice,” you groan. You remove your shoes and attempt to get up. “Let me go back and smack her f—”

He puts his arm in front of you to stop you and laughs. 

“It’s okay, ___. She got the message. She doesn’t deserve our time.”

“Ugh. I should’ve egged her face when I had the chance,” you growl.

He just laughs again and you’re glad it’s a sound you get to hear now. You look at him and see perhaps just a fraction of the pain underneath and hope you could do something to ease whatever is remaining. 

“So, I doubt you wanna get back in there. What if we buy something to drink here and get back to my place? Not unless you want to be alone or something…”

“Definitely not,” he says. “Your place is fine.”

“Alright, let me just tell Tae.”

You call your friend while you and Jungkook enter the convenience store to get some beer and something else a little stronger. Taehyung says that Jimin and Mo-eum are still enjoying themselves and that some of his friends have just arrived. 

“We saw Si-an,” you explain. 

“What! That witch is here?” He exclaims. 

“Yes. And I went off on her so she probably expects you’d do the same. I won’t be surprised if she’s left after that though,” you say. “But Kook and I will just hang out at my place.”

“Alright. I’ll tell Mr. Yang to drive you home.”

“Great. Thanks, Tae. Let me know when the three of you get home.”

“Will do. Hug Kook for me, yeah? He secretly likes those.”

“I will,” you smile, just as Jungkook checks out your purchases. 

You drop the call and inform Taehyung’s chauffeur where you are. 

It’s quiet in the car the whole ride home. You leave Jungkook to his thoughts, knowing that he prefers a bit of time for himself to process things. 

You arrive at your apartment, grab your drinks, and head to your small balcony. It’s quite chilly outside so you take your blankets with you and sit next to Jungkook. With cans of beer and a nice bottle of whiskey - that you take shots of while he drinks it on the rocks - you watch the moon sit prettily on the sky and think it’s not a bad way to end an unpleasant evening.

It’s quiet again for the first few minutes as you both settle in, and it’s Jungkook who speaks first.

“Thanks again, ___,” he says. “And not just for standing up for me but also for saying those things about me.”

“And I meant them. You’re a great guy, Kook, but she stuffed it up so sucks for her because someone else gets to have you now, or whenever. Let’s hope she’s a good one,” you smile. “But also, I’ve literally fought so many of our friends’ exes. That’s kinda my thing. Not that I’m proud of it but you know… I’m the back up when you guys can’t say what you want to say.”

“That’s true. There are those like us who find it hard and—”

“People like me who find it easy to get angry?” You finish. 

“I meant people who can find the words to say and actually say them like you,” he corrects. “Plus, I told you that anger is good sometimes. You’ve always stood up for us and we always appreciate it.”

“Well thank you. The times I did that for myself, it led to my relationships ending,” you bitterly laugh. “But I guess they were bound to.”

“Is that how you look at it? That they ended because you stood up for yourself?”

“I think it changes, depending on where I’m at in life,” you say. “I mean, isn’t that a normal thing? A defense mechanism of some sort? We shift the blame? Or chalk it up to immaturity or inexperience? Or think the relationship just ran its course?”

“What is it this time?”

“Lately I’ve been thinking it’s all of that, all at once. It’s me standing up to them but also probably me being too much, or too impatient. Maybe I had high expectations or I deserved better or maybe we weren’t a good match. Maybe I just wasn’t the right person for them, or for myself, at that time.”

“Hmm,” he hums, sipping his second glass of whiskey. 

He seems to be in deep thought, as he sinks a little deeper into his seat. You let him, as you let your own words linger in your mind. 

How would you know if you’re the right person entering a relationship? How would you know if the other is?  Or better yet, is it about being or becoming the right person? How do both of you get to that point without losing the person that you are?

“I was just wondering if there’s anything I should’ve done differently,” Jungkook says after some time. “So many times before, I kept asking myself if it was a moment or an action I did that made Si-an decide to just… do that.”

“Yah!” You nudge his knee then turn towards him. 

You’re two bottles of beer and three shots down and he’s a little distorted in your eyes but you still see the hint of sadness on his face. 

“Do not for a second think any of that was your fault. She did that. She made that decision,” you exclaim.

“I know, but what if I made it easy? I would pick her up from a shoot at dawn; sometimes I’d drive out of town just to see her for two hours,” he shares. “I was always around for her and maybe she saw me as expendable or too available and so someone she could treat badly and expect would forgive her. But then again, she was always clingy when we were around in public and I wasn’t because I wasn’t like that so maybe I should’ve been the same?”

“Kook, you wanted to be where she was because you liked her; that’s not being too available and that’s not a bad thing. And she just had this complex, okay? Like, she needs people to see she’s wanted,” you explain. “Otherwise she wouldn’t have taken you for granted. Whether you were busy or not around, that’s no reason to do what she did; she’d be loyal either way if she was a good person. And she wasn’t.”

“I guess,” he sighs, unconvincingly.

Wanting to make a point, you turn to him and cup his cheeks with your hands.

“Kook, look at me.”

“I am. And you look like a tomato.”

“Shush, I turn puffy when I’m mad and drunk,” you pout, but you continue.

“You are a great guy, okay? And you care about people. You treat your friends so well so I just know you treat your partners amazingly. You may not be perfect but your exes messed up. And I’m not just saying this because I’m your friend but because I can see it. Don’t ever think that you have to change or dim your shine or be less nice or more clingy to be wanted enough. Because the right person will want you regardless.”

Jungkook meets your eyes to let you know that he’s listening to what you’re saying, and that he’ll keep them in mind for the next time and next person, whenever or whoever that might be. He also wishes you can hear yourself and that you’ll take that to heart, too. You’re all kinds of great things; he just doesn’t know how to express that to you.

“Okay,” he smiles at you.

“Okay?”

“Yes, okay,” he chuckles.

You remove your hands from his face and turn your gaze back to the view before you. You lean your head on his shoulder and he shifts his body to make you feel comfortable. 

“We’re good people, Kook. We’ll find other good people meant for us, too.”

It’s a good thought, as the person who’s right or could become right for him is just out there in the world, going about their life, and completely clueless that the right person for them is out here, just waiting to find them.

It’s 3 AM by the time you and Jungkook decide to call it a night. It felt so long with everything that happened in the Club. You just spent the past few hours finishing some cans of beer and ¾ of the whiskey while talking about random things like your college days and books you’ve read and weird food you want to try and your non-generic fears.

You were close to tears due to laughter for half of it. Jungkook has this charming, playful sense of humor that’s different from what you’re used to with Jimin and Taehyung and it felt comfortable being able to experience him that way. 

You usually spend time with him within a group and these past few weeks of hanging out with just him has been nice. He’s thoughtful and attentive, holding your arm before you fall off your chair and making sure you don’t hit your head on the wall since you keep leaning back when you laugh. He plays along with your jokes and teases you constantly. He also has a quiet wisdom about him that’s very assuring.

To Jungkook, you’ve always been a fiery individual. You’re constantly moving, thinking, and talking. You have this burning passion for good things and you’re not afraid to speak out about them.

You work with many types of individuals and your energy and how you present yourself changes with each set of people. Within your friend group, everyone looks after you. They give you the hugs you always seek and make sure you’re fed and well taken care of.

Spending this much time with just you these past weeks has given him a deeper look into who you are outside of all that, which is all of those versions of you all at once. It’s quite the experience, as you go from angry to pouty to unhinged to sentimental then introspective in one sitting. 

And it’s entertaining for him. And exciting. Somehow it’s very reassuring. Especially earlier when you defended him to his ex and said all those good things about him. 

He didn’t realize it right away but his heart did a thing then. He’s not really sure why and where it came from, but it happened several times the rest of the night at your balcony when you cupped his face and looked in his eyes and every time you leaned on his shoulder. 

It’s doing it again now, with you softly looking at him - despite the glassy eyes - standing by the couch as you tell him to just spend the night. 

“I’ll fix the sofa bed while you shower. I have some of Jimin’s clothes here that you can use.”

“Okay,” he responds. 

“Oh, and one last thing,” you say, before wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him close in an embrace.

“Tae told me to hug you,” you whisper.

Jungkook chuckles and he takes it. But you sigh and rest your chin against his shoulder then there goes his heart again. He flattens his palms on your back and pulls you in a little tighter. 

It lasts for a few seconds before you pull away, pinch his cheeks as you like to do, and gesture towards the bathroom.

“Toothbrush on the first drawer and towel on the second,” you say. 

“Got it. Thanks.”

You pull the levers on the couch to convert it into a bed then put sheets and pillows over it. You put away all your beer cans and turn on the humidifier. 

You get in the shower after he does and then find him still sitting on the bed when you finish. 

“Let’s sleep in tomorrow,” you say while combing your hair. “I’m sure I’ll feel all this alcohol and sore feet all morning.”

“Sure thing. Good night, ___.”

“You’ll be okay?”

“Yeah. I already am.”

Jungkook stays up for another hour just staring at your ceiling. There’s nothing particularly interesting about it but it connects him to where you are, just behind the half wall that separates your bed space from the rest of the apartment. 

You’re probably in deep sleep and he hopes it’s a good one. You’d spent much of the night filled with emotions related to him, from the anger over what Si-an said to the heartbreak over what he experienced. At the end of it was the assurance and shared hope over the good that you both deserve and the love you'll one day find.

The tenderness of your smile and the warmth of your embrace linger after all that. Even more concerning, at least for him, was the rapid beating of his heart whenever he saw your lips turn up or when you’d try to cheer him up or when you’d move closer to him. 

He acted unaffected, as if everything was natural. But the thing is - it is. You’re naturally like this. You’re emotional and encouraging, passionate and hopeful. You’ve called out your friends’ exes before, which always left them stunned and speechless. You’ve had hundreds of pep talks that Jungkook had been the receiver of or witnessed. 

And you’re affectionate, endearingly so. You have this fondness for all your friends, which they all return with the way they take care of you. You like to hug and cuddle and cling to people and it’s never meant anything more - not to you and as far as he knows, not to your other friends. 

But tonight, it felt different. It felt confusing. It also felt good, like something he wants to feel again. And maybe he will, as the thought of spending the next day with you invades his mind. 

He finally falls asleep after doing the trick he taught you not long ago, where he tenses his muscles then relaxes them. It’s the next morning when a loud thump from nearby wakes him up from sleep. 

He turns around, as he’d cocooned himself to one of the pillows, then finds you standing by the sofa bed, grimacing in pain. He sits up and rubs his eyes. 

“What happened to you?” He grunts.

“I was gonna wake you up but I stubbed my toe on the foot of the couch,” you frown. “It hurts.”

“Show me,” he instructs, scooting to the side so you could sit down and stretch your leg. “You’re such a child sometimes,” he teases. 

You playfully smile then remove your sleeping socks and wiggle your toes but wince again in pain when you do.

Jungkook assesses it and decides it’s nothing to be concerned about.

“It’s just bruised. It'll heal soon but just put ice on it for relief,” he says.

You nod and watch him stand to get your cold pack in the freezer. You place it on your toe while he washes up in your bathroom and you already feel better. He comes back out and you say you just ordered hangover soup for the both of you.

“Do you have coffee?”

“Yes, Kook. It’s the one thing I actually have,” you giggle, given that your non-cook ass doesn’t have anything else.

You usually just get your meals delivered. Your mom also occasionally sends containers of food to heat up and Mo-eum and Hayoung sometimes come to your apartment just to cook. It sounds pathetic, you know, which is why you bought yourself an air fryer to make you feel a little less helpless. 

You just put something in, turn a knob, then wait. You’ve only used it a few times but still, it doesn’t make you one of those people with staple ingredients in their pantries. It’s something your friends often tease you about.

Jungkook pulls out two drip coffee sachets from the jar and you limp towards the balcony. It’s 1PM - you really slept through to midday - and the autumn sky is beautiful today. It’s also quite chilly, but it’s the perfect weather to enjoy your hot coffee outdoors.

Jungkook arrives with your mugs and the teapot and gradually pours the water over. You sit in silence as you wait for the drink to be ready. You’re still slowly waking up and he seems to still be in that post-sleep daze. 

He hands you your coffee and you hum in satisfaction after your first sip.

“Hmm. Reminds me of the second morning in Chungbuk,” you hum.

Jungkook smiles. You were surprisingly the first two people from your cabin who were awake that time and you spent almost an hour just talking on the picnic table outside. There was chaos in both your minds but it was calm all around. He remembers that day fondly. 

“Tae messaged and wants to know what happened,” you inform him. “He said we’ll all have dinner tonight at his favorite Chinese restaurant. We can just chill and then I’ll drive us there. I can drive you home, for a change.”

A tiny smile forms on Jungkook’s face. 

“Sounds good.”

You eat your hangover soup on your tiny dining table, then you spend the rest of the short afternoon on your couch while watching random shows on TV. You talk and laugh then sit in silence, then talk and laugh again. 

It’s Jungkook and he’s used to your fluctuating energy by now. You’ve been friends for over 10 years and he knows how you are - blabbering one minute then zoning out the next. You never felt like you had to be a certain version of yourself around him. You go from berating and teasing him to asking him to take care of you. 

It’s how you are with all your friends though. It’s why your friendship has lasted this long. It’s also why you think you’re able to just comfortably sit next to him with your messy hair and raggedy pajama pants and whine about your toe. 

He just laughs and takes it all in. He doesn’t complain about you nor does he make you feel bad about anything you do. Just like all your friends, he’s supportive and dependable, and you suppose it’s what you’ll always need.

It’s 6:30 PM by the time you’re driving out of the basement parking lot to the restaurant, with you insisting that stepping on the gas doesn’t cause any pain on your toe. You arrive and are led to one of those private rooms because with your big group, it’s just always better to have your own space where you could be loud without much care for your surroundings. 

You sit next to Hoseok, who babies you about your little injury because he truly is the most doting one out of all your friends, and to Mo-eum, who engages you in side conversations because there’s always something for you to ramble about. 

You let Jungkook talk about last night. He mentions Si-an’s Instagram message and narrates the things she said, then he repeats the things that you said, almost in verbatim. You stop yourself from exploding at the memory of your exchange with her but it seems that your friends are making up for your hesitation, as a few of them curse and shake their heads in response.

He leaves out the part about Si-an cheating on him more than once, and you suppose it’s not a story he intends to share with others. He was vulnerable with you last night, so when he assures your friends that the past is something he’s already come to terms with and that he’s truly moved on, you send him a soft smile. 

Jungkook’s heart does that thing again, and like the trained teacher that he is, he knows how to keep his emotions in check and not show them on his face. 

He can’t help it though, not when he’s reminded of last night, especially with how you seemed affected again with just his narration. You were groaning under your breath earlier, clenching your fist, and pinching the corners of your eyes. 

But like you always are, at the end of that rage is a kind of gentleness that he used to take for granted. Now, it’s what he looks forward to, whether it’s a smile or a lean on his shoulder or a pinch of his cheek. 

The conversations continue around him but he finds himself still being drawn to you. He hopes the way he looks at you is as natural as it always had been; he hopes the effect of the leaping of his heart isn’t that obvious, either. 

There’s a moment when concern creeps in, as he tries to make sense of what he suddenly feels, as if he just woke up one day and started feeling differently. He knows it’s too soon to act on it, though, especially with him still trying to figure it all out. He doesn’t want to risk anything, especially if it’ll cost him your friendship.

He tries to rationalize it. Perhaps he might just be reacting to how you’d been protective of him and it’ll pass. It could also be just a harmless crush or a fleeting one. He might also still be hungover. Or maybe it’s a result of how much time you’ve been spending together since your trip to Chungbuk, which hasn’t happened for a while, so maybe spending less time with you will return things to normal. 

He decides that not making too much effort to be around you will help stabilize himself and his stubborn heart. That is, until Taehyung makes an announcement, which apparently is the reason why he asked for this dinner.

“So… I got the call earlier,” he starts, looking around at everyone’s expectant faces. “I got the role on Broadway. I’m heading to New York!”

The room erupts in excitement and Taehyung sports that proud and appreciative boxy smiley of his while he gets hugs and high-fives.

“There’s been a delay with production but I’m one of the first casts. They wanted to lock me in right away because they know I’m eyeing another show,” he explains. “But I fly in May and the shows start in October. I’m so excited.”

“Oh, our Tae,” Hayoung says. “We’re so proud of you! We’re definitely flying out to watch.”

“Yes! It’ll run for a couple of months so there’s time,” he nods. “But since I’ll be leaving again and the holidays are coming up soon, I was thinking of going on a trip.”

“To where?” Several of you ask. 

“Hmm, any suggestions?” He asks back.

“Let’s go to Sapporo!” Jimin chirps.

It’s a place you’ve all talked about going to before, especially after your trip to Tokyo some time ago, so it’s not hard to convince everyone to agree. The planning begins and you all decide on a mid-December trip so it’s the school holidays and the rest can take their leaves. Some are checking out hotels while the others are searching up what to eat and where to stay.

Jungkook tries to process all the different conversations happening all at once but his mind goes back to his thoughts from earlier. So much for trying to spend less time with you. Now he’s thinking of those few days - snow, food, warmth… and you. 

And if he’s being honest, he can’t wait for December to come.

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[mihii-i]

tides.

Pairings: navia x fem!reader

CW: nsfw, female reader, siren au, pirate/sailor reader (whatever u want it to be lol), wlw, girls kissing obv, sesbian lex muahahaha, men can interact but uhm it might be awkward bc navia talks about how much she hates men (sorry :( ), officer the sex comes outta nowhere, who is this diva, no seriously I made navia extra sassy here, virgin reader, underwater sex idfk?, fingering, kinda vanilla, marking, breast play ig, written when I am VERY sleepy, not proofread.

A/N: I would no joke let navia- I mean who said that. this is part of @edgeray ‘s halloween event :3 🕯️

Splashes of ocean water ripped through the wavering currents in the cold dead of night, patterns of stars decorating the sky alongside the moon as the only faint light source in the clearing as she ship rocked from side to side. You stared down the ledge of the large ship, sail standing proud directly behind you as you inched closer to the edge to drown out the obnoxious hollers of your crewmates. The relentless voyage stretched out for an agonizingly extended period of time—months possibly. Before you, the endless stretch of the ocean consumed your sights altogether, becoming the only thing filling your sights as the consuming waves engulfed the previous body of water trailing behind you.

Your crewmates had never failed to remain a pain in the ass as well, constantly taunting you and disrupting your peace with an insolent remark hurled at you as their irritating laughter erupted throughout the ship. On top of the sloppy lifestyle the men on the ship had shared, it didn’t exactly help that you were one of the few women present on the ship. Or maybe you were the only one? You had lost track at this point.

Regardless, you always scoffed at the unkempt behaviors of your crewmates advancing toward you or spitting useless nonsense toward you in an attempt to mansplain something, disgust boiling up inside you. You merely attempted to drown out their presence as nothing more than white noise circling the clearing, cutting through the initially peaceful silence of the quiet waves and gentle air. Yet, it was still as if you had been cursed with remaining in a trashed wooden sail afloat in the middle of nowhere surrounded by people who would probably murder you if they had the chance to. That’s what they’d do to any crewmate who was the least bit civilized atleast.

Sighing, your eyes lowered shut, lashes briefly brushing onto your skin. You savored the cool air grazing your face, which out outstretched to gaze upward as if you had offered yourself to the unending void of a sky to come take you away. Sometimes, you pondered if it would be better for you to just escape your responsibility as a pirate. Leaving behind the life of plundering and theiving to carve a new path of what you wanted. Maybe then you atleast wouldn’t be awoken by the stinging smell of booze engulfing your room in the middle of your rest as some drunken crewmate would rummage through your belongings unprompted.

“(Name)! The hell you staring out for- for that long? You’re not tryna avoid us, yeah?”

You pursed your lips quietly, shoulders hunching up as you gripped the edge of the boat tightly, fingers dragging along the raw wood. His voice was nothing but a pestering vibration that rang in the air, only serving to gauge your annoyance further.

“Maybe I am? Leave me alone. I don’t want to join your cheap ship tavern with rum and puke.”

He rolled his eyes in response, clearing his throat as he brought a hand to his chest to surpress his own gulp of drinks bubbling up in his throat.

“Ugh. You’re no fun. But for once nah, we want everyone to come around since we saw something poking out of the water. Seemed like a huge catch for a fish maybe.”

Upon hearing his words, you couldn’t help but cock an eyebrow in mild skepticism. Perhaps those were the rushes of water thumping against the fervent currents, splashing a few pools of salty ocean water onto the edge of the ship occasionally. Curious, you made your way over to the large array of crewmates pinned up to the ledge, peering down at the ripples of water followed by strong currents grazing along the base of the ship.

A…fish? Had everyone drank too much? There weren’t much fish around this part of the sea visible to a sailor’s naked eye. They typically presided in the deep pressure of the ocean around here.

Maybe your crewmates never left behind their idiotic sense of fascination. That would be the most plausible answer as to why their eyes seemed to be tracing nothing. A disappointed groan left the crew members one by one as they detached themselves from the ledge, disappointed as they trudged back into their respective cabins at the lack of anything particularly eye catching. Morons.

“(Name)! Keep watch again for us, will you?”

You couldn’t do much to be fair, besides heave a disappointed groan and shoot your drunken crewmate a disdainful glare as he flashed you that shit eating grin, stumbling over to his room before slamming the door behind him. And so there you stood. Still in the middle of the rocking ship like an unmovable stone, weighing down on the creaking floorboards wavering beneath you as the violent thrusts of the ocean continued to slice through your ears.

It felt quite unnatural, as if something presiding in the growingly murky waters of the sea torrented the initially neutral water gently splashing along the sea. The moonlit sky reflected in the still clear ripples of the ocean, your eyes squinting as you caught the pale light shining along the edge of a curved obstacle protruding to the surface from below the naked eye. Furrowing your brows, you shielded the top of your eyes, focusing your vision on the intrusion abnormally poking out of the currents.

Mind clouded with confusion, the fog around the area only grew thicker as the clouds occasionally masked the darkened sky. Suddenly, your swirling thoughts began to subside as your tense muscles relaxed, grip on the wood ledge loosening as a serene melody hummed through the air, the effects it brought upon clearing your mind almost intoxicating. You breathed out calmly, hearing the beautiful voice of a woman float alongside the swishes of water as you felt yourself slowly leaning further and further along the ledge.

Her sweet voice only entranced you further and further, drawing you in as it grew more prominent. Longing to push past the ledge to take in her velvety voice closer to you. However you couldn’t help but feel the unnerving sting faltering your longing thoughts, trying to fight back with a drop of rationality while you pushed against the edge closer, face nearly coming into contact with the circling waves. Who could possibly singing this late? And who would there even be to sing in the middle of nowhere?

You saw the object curve out of the surface of the ocean past the clearing, now nearing your line of sight and making itself more clear in the dim moonlight rolling along the waters to illuminate the bare minimum in a close proximity. Now getting a clearer look, the object nearly resembled that of a fish’s tail, a pretty shade of light blue spanning along each subtle scale along it. What an odd color for a fish, perhaps that’s what your crewmates saw earlier, as it was the only fish that could see so far. In fact— it happened to be as big as you recalled from what the others pointed out.

Your tongue flattened against the roof of your mouth in anticipation, feeling an uneasiness churning in your stomach as the scaled ridge rippled closer and closer to the side of the boat. However instead of backing away, you found yourself peering over the ledge, hands tightened at the rim of the ship as the splintering wood grazed your calloused hands. Leaping over, you thudded down onto the boat with a soft ‘oof,’ your thoughts screaming at you internally to question if you were insane. You knew your curiosity outmatched your rationality, yet you couldn’t help but be drawn to the sea blue tail peeking out from the waves, and complimented by the moonlight.

What met your eyes next was quite a sight to behold, your jaw nearly dropping from the radiance that blinded your eye. A stunning woman arched above the surface of the water in one swift motion, head tilted back as her near cinematic entrance sent droplets of water seeming to float in the air around her in slow motion. Her starry blue eyes locked onto your form, bottom lip glistening a gorgeous tint of pink to compliment her honey blonde hair spilling down her shoulders.

Her gaze snapped up to you in less than a single second, heavy eyes opening up a bit as she raised her eyebrows in slight surprise to take in your seated form on the dock. You didn’t expect The gorgeous lady to hoist herself up from the sea, hands planted at either side of your waist as she rose herself to the edge of the ship where you sat, face dangerously close. Instinctively, you hunched your shoulders back, leaning your head back to harbor more space between your faces—yet, the woman closed the gap each time, the tip of her nose brushing against yours as you felt her soaked skin graze against yours.

Raising an eyebrow, she kept that unmoving indifferent expression, sinking herself down into the sea once more as she rested her arms along the wood. The end of her tail briefly peeked out of the ocean’s bristling surface, her cheek pressed against her resting hands as her head tilted to the side, gaze immediately snapping back to you as you swore that the corner of her lip slightly curved up in a smile.

“Huh. I expected something I could drag down again.” She finally spoke, her expression growing more and more amused upon observing your confusion. She leaned back with a sigh, pink tinted lips gleaming under the light as the reflections of the water silhouetted her form. “I surely didn’t think to encounter someone so…gorgeous. Fully expected some middle aged drunkard.”

Your eyes remained fixed on the oddly shaped fin structures in place of her ears, not even registering her words completely out of the initial shock that stung you just now. Had you just encountered a live mermaid? You thought they were just tales employed by a bunch of sailors for their own laughs.

Now looking at her upfront…the draconic fins, frail body, those deadpan eyes tracing you, all the characteristics fit that of a siren instead.

Noticing your blank gaze staring at possibly nothing, she rose her hand to hover over your cheek carefully, puffing out a quick sigh at your absentmindedness. Quickly, you rushed back to your senses, blinking to ground yourself back into reality for a moment.

“Don’t be like that, dear sailor. A pretty girl like you isn’t nameless, correct?” She hummed, a subtle smirk crossing her features as she tilted her head to come face to face with you. The way her head had angled as if it were to intersect your lips, sky blue eyes flickering to your quivering lower lip being nothing short of gesturing a kiss, her stance as her arms elevated her up to level with you being oddly…intimate.

“Are you..a siren?”

Her eye twitched, brows knitted together in mild frustration in less than the blink of an eye as her fingers dug into the wood to maintain her composure. You clasped a hand over your mouth defensively, seeming to realize far too late that perhaps you shouldn’t have asked such a question so- upfront when she was the one who inquired your name in a playful manner first.

She reached up her hand to her forehead, bridge of her nose situated between her thumb and forefinger in annoyance as she pushed out a breath to calm herself. God, the one sailor she took interest in, she wanted to fucking murder in this moment.

“Are you serious? I asked you a question, clearly interested, and that’s what you ask me?”

“Sorry..”

“Fuck it. It’s fine. Not like you’re someone trying to hunt me down only to be killed.”

She paused, eyes narrowing as she took note of the expectant look remaining on your face, clearly still wanting the answer to your abruptly dumb question earlier. Scoffing, she rolled her eyes, unamused by your clueless antics.

“Yes. I am. Happy? Name’s Navia, now if it isn’t so hard to tell me your name like I did to you?”

You flinched at her sudden aggression, tilting your head bashfully. Guess she really didn’t like the moment getting ruined.

“..(Name).”

Navia hummed softly in approval, velvety voice spurring against her throat in a gentle exhale of breath. Her hand dragged along yours, a spark flying through you upon feeling her soaked skin stick to yours so closely. Evidently so, you had piqued the sea creature’s interest quite a bit, your breathing shallowing out upon feeling a chill envelope your whole body, goosebumps blooming against your exposed skin along with the chilling winds.

“Gorgeous. Absolutely beautiful. It suits someone as beautiful as you.”

You couldn’t help but allow the burning heat to creep up to your cheeks, blood rushing to your head as you felt your face grow hot from the faint red tint.

“So why aren’t you killing me, Navia?”

Tapping her chin thoughtfully for a moment, Navia flashed you a smile, pressing her chest to the edge of the dock to speak with you a bit closer.

“I dunno. Saw a sailor that wasn’t a drunk moron eating at anything that’s money, sailor happened to be a pretty girl, and everything happened from there I guess.” She answered in a lighthearted tone, nails digging into the wood of the ship to ground herself. Just so happened the sweet siren here had pretty sharp nails, pointed at the tips just at the right amount to cut open human flesh to the bone.

“So…I say..if you wanna live unlike what I think I wanna do to your crewmates..”

Her hands suddenly shifted over to your thighs draped over the edge, planting them down for support against you. By now, you had to choke back the rapid breaths catching in your throat, heart feeling it was going to beat right out of your chest as it thudded against your insides violently. Of course you couldn’t help it, you felt somewhat aroused by the sight of a gorgeous woman, who so happened to be an exotic sea creature looming over you with her palms planted onto your clothed thighs. You’d never let her outright know that though.

Navia’s cool breath suddenly fanned against your cheek, pretty pink lips alarmingly close as she grazed them along the shell of your ear. Still held up impressively by her mere arm strength pushing her up to come face to face with you. Her bare body brushed against the loose fabric of your shirt puffed out, draped over you as the neckline formed a V shape over the opening of your chest.

Her sharp fragrance of saltwater clawed at the back of your throat as you took in her scent as she leaned against you chest to chest now, the strong tonicity being substituted with a much more pleasantly mellow aroma presenting itself for you to breathe in. Your head spun as your pupils flickered in Navia’s wake, her nails still dug into your thighs temptingly as she had probably torn parts of the cloth and poked holes into your pants. Clicking her tongue, her breath hitting your ear only served to further heighten your lust blinded haze, flinching as her pointed teeth grazed along your ear as she spoke once more to complete her dangling thought.

“Come underwater with me. I promise I won’t kill you or anything. It’ll feel…nice.”

“How am I supposed to do that? I’m human, I can’t just dunk myself underwater and be expected to breathe the whole time.”

Navia merely grumbled at your naive response, biting the inside of her cheek. You only cocked your head to the side, puzzled by her random changes in demeanor in this moment.

“(Name). I get that you live with your braindead crewmates, but surely acting like some virgin will get you nowhere around me.”

“Ah..”

You pursed your lips at her remark, dozing your gaze off to the side in embarrassment. Sweat patterned along your back as the tides began to assault your ankles now, the water refreshingly warm in contrast to Navia’s hypothermic body temperature adhering droplets of water along every inch of your own. She feigned an expression of shock at your bashful hesitation, bringing her hand to her lips in a gesture that made you huddle in a bit from embarrassment.

“Don’t tell me…you haven’t-?”

You shook your head, clearing your throat to distract yourself—and her—from the fact that your face was a scorching scarlet hue from the fairly lewd topic at hand.

“Well then…if you come with me I can fix that..? What do you say, (Name)?”

Her teasing voice only spurred you further to dart your sights down to her hands now subtly parting your thighs, the beautiful gradient of her nails sharpened along her skin quickening your breathing as you choked back a whine from her evidently seductive motions. A single nod was all that was needed as her hands shot up from between your legs to snake around your neck, grasping on as she clawed at your nape all of a sudden. An involuntary gasp left you upon feeling the sting of her nails along the back of your neck, breath held between your cheeks the moment she fell back into the sea, dragging you along with her.

Sinking deeper into the rushing blue waters circling you, Navia’s arms remained locked around your neck, tail shielding your leg for additional support as you descended down into the depths of the ocean. The minute you hit a strange sort of dome in which you could breathe underwater, you in fact—couldn’t exactly breathe properly. Your legs pressed together as jolts of pleasure enveloped your body, a high rush overtaking you as you noticed Navia wasting absolutely no time as she held you down into the sand.

Rasped out mewls began to endlessly spill from your lips as your hips mindlessly bucked forward into Navia’s touch, her middle and ring finger knuckles deep in your cunt as she parted your walls to accommodate her fingers splitting you open. Ecstasy clouded your mind at her intoxicating touch, nails brushing up against that one spot within you as her freehand was clasped around your wrists to hold you down.

Every worry you had embedded in your mind, every issue that had haunted you on your journey had faded away under her touch, your lips parted as a string of noises followed through with each relentless thrust of her fingers curling your warm, velvety walls. Her movements remained somewhat gentle, yet fervent as heat clouded the two of you in the intense moment, teeth pressed against the exposed skin of your throat to muffle a moan fighting against her lips.

Perhaps her mind had also been relieved in this moment while she fucked you underwater. The constant unprovoked attacks from wandering sailors, sudden encounters with people who had never caught her eye in the moment, Navia just needed to get away from it all. And you were perfect for her. It’s as if the gods had bestowed upon her a sailor with lips as sweet as saccharine. And the minute she raised her head from your throat to glance over at your face twisted in lust, her lips found their way to crash against yours, tongue brushing along your bottom lip any chance she got in that hungry kiss she captured you with.

Sure enough, you tasted sweet just like she theorized.

Your intoxicating scent, the sweetness of your lips, your moans vibrating against her mouth while her fingers drove in and out at a steady, yet roughened pace to slam against your cunt…

It was all so fucking perfect.

Bright red hickeys bloomed in a trail of fire against your exposed skin, your gasps increasing in pitch and frequency as her thumb brushed along your exposed nipple. A near scream boiled in your throat as Navia’s own noises reverberated against your lips, your breaths growing quicker as a third finger entered the heavenly mix. You frantically reached a hand up to grip onto her bare back tightly, nails raking down her pale skin as she threw her head back to choke out a little whimper.

“N-Navi- please…m’gonna-“

—

Breathing heavily, you lay fully clothed. Back flush against the edge of the ship once more, staring at the sky aimlessly as your now soaked clothing pooled out drains of seawater onto the dock. You craned your neck over, glancing at the siren who hoisted you back up as you seemed to be completely out of breath. A smile stretched her lips at your exhausted form, innocently waving as she fluttered her fingers. Huh. Acting like she didn’t just fuck the life out of you with those.

Navia’s chin rested along the edge of the boat once more, leaning over to plant a sweet kiss against your cheek. You were too spent to move at all, yet you still smiled weakly as you lay like starfish outstretched in water on the boat. She chuckled, eyes briefly flickering to the visible marks on your neck not covered by your clothes.

“Will I be seeing you again in this part of the sea, (Name)?”

“Without a doubt. Just make sure I can move next time.”

“Not my fault you have no experience.”

“Oh come on..I promise I’ll be the one on top next time, ‘kay?”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

You rasped out a strained laugh, smiling at Navia as she lowered herself back into the water before flashing you a quick wink.

“I’ll see you around, my sweet sailor.”

And just like that, she disappeared into the depths of the water. Leaving you on your back, all soaked and marked up as your clothes stuck to you body in a transparent fashion.

Hell, maybe you’ll bring her something next time.

A/N: PLEASE DONF HAVE HIGH EXPECTATIONS THIS CAME OUT SO BAD IM SO SLEEPI LEAB ME ALONEEEE WAAAAAA

okay jk yall are awesome but IM SLEEPY. GOODNIGHT.

[nadvs]

better off (part two)

pairing rafe cameron x female reader

rating mature 18+

summary after having regretful break-up sex with rafe, you try to move on. but he can’t let you go that easy.

warning toxic relationship

» part one

» masterlist

Gulls squawk in the distance, circling the cloudless afternoon sky as you sit on your family’s docked boat.

Since you arrived at the marina, you haven’t moved, save for the boat’s gentle rocks as it sits on the water. Every so often, you hear chatter from people on their boats around you, but it’s been fairly quiet.

You didn’t come here to go out into the sea. You simply needed a change of scenery. Your bedroom has begun to feel suffocating.

And while it hurts to be alone, it hurts even more to be around people. You’re not yourself since the break-up. Having to keep up conversations reminds you of how much of a stranger you are to yourself now.

Life feels off without Rafe. Blurred.

The pages of the book in your hand are fluttering with the breeze, your pen held tight in your hand. You’ve been trying to focus on reading, but you can’t stop thinking about what happened two nights ago. The last time you saw him.

You regret the break-up sex. It was a relapse that hindered your recovery. He called you insufferable.

But it’s par for the course. He has a knack for making you feel like you’re a burden, a bother, as if you were forcing him into a relationship.

You blink away tears and look down at the words on the page. You had picked up this book about toxic relationships a week ago, but finally started reading it today.

As you expected, what you had with Rafe ticks all the boxes. Distrust. Control. Blame.

And one thing you read that stuck with you is how someone usually stays in a toxic relationship because it doesn’t always feel bad. The person you love isn’t all flaws, all the time.

It’s true. Rafe could be mean, but he had good qualities, too. He was fun. Reliable. Protective. Loyal. Hardworking.

It still wasn’t enough to make up for how cruel he could be. Your eyes travel over the last paragraph you read.

Break the cycle by understanding that this was not your fault. Whatever happened to them to cause their behavior was likely not their fault either, but you must accept that your love can’t break that barrier.

Rafe always hated crying in front of you. He only did it a couple times, muttering that he had to stop being such a pussy. You told him it was okay, but he just got angry at you for trying to console him. As if you were patronizing him.

He treated you the same way when you cried. Not every time, but when he was the reason you were upset, he would tell you to stop whining. That you were sensitive and needed to toughen the fuck up if you were going to be his girl.

It broke you, piece by piece. But if he talked to himself like that whenever he felt weak, of course he’d do it to you, too. Any negative emotion that wasn’t anger was disgusting to him.

You know his upbringing was tumultuous. From what little he told you, his father could be erratic and unreliable with his affection, kind to his son one moment, then clearly favoring his daughter the next.

And you often wondered if that’s why he couldn’t say he loved you very often. Maybe because he considered it a fragile promise.

You sigh to yourself. This is all you’ve been doing; trying to understand a man who can’t possibly love you, not really, because a man who loves you wouldn’t scream at you and call you names.

Break the cycle by understanding that this was not your fault.

You underline the words in red pen. You want this burned into your brain. You couldn’t fix him. It wasn’t on you to. But damn, did you want to.

You pull out your phone to take a photo of this part of the page, the stern of the boat and the dark blue sea and the edge of the dock in the background.

You had intended to just keep it for yourself, but you decide to post it on your story. It feels like a release to share a sentence that has such an impact on you, even though any followers who see it will probably tap through and forget about it in a second.

Plus it’s not like the person you’re relating it to can see it anyway. You removed Rafe from all of your social media and blocked his number. You’ve cut him out of your life.

You look out at the water again, wishing there was something you could do to ease the heaviness that’s flooding your body and wringing your heart out.

It feels like it’s going to hurt forever. It’s a tiring thing, caring about someone who throws you down and then treats you like you chose to fall.

Rafe tried to text you yesterday. We need to meet asap. He meant to make it sound urgent, when really, he just wants to talk about your break-up. It’s a manipulative move, but it’d get your attention.

But the text immediately came up as undelivered. You blocked him. And now that he thinks about it, he’s glad. Those moments of reaching out to you are moments of weakness. And they’re humiliating.

Especially because of what you said the other night. That if there’s any part of him that has a heart, he’ll leave you alone. Of all the things you’ve hurled at him, that had to be one of the worst.

He’s not a heartless asshole. He can act like one, but he’s shown you love time and time again, and you spoke to him as if he never has. It was a stab in the back.

Still, he can’t reign in his need to know whatever he can about you. He felt like such a loser telling Topper to send him whatever you post after you blocked him on everything. At least you didn’t block his friend.

Rafe is sitting on his bed when he sees a screenshot from Topper come through on his phone. Anxiety pricks his skin. Ever since you mentioned that you have someone new now, he’s dreading seeing you with another man, of even seeing a mention of him.

He knows you well. He’s almost certain you lied about having a new boyfriend. But what if you didn’t?

It’s a photo of a book in your lap, your hand holding open the page. He recognizes your family’s boat in the background. You’ve gone out on it together quite a few times.

It’s pathetic how long he looks at your hand in the photo. He’s a wreck, taking pieces of whatever he can to feel put together again, eyes trailing over what little of your body he can see.

You would sometimes put his ring on your finger, looking at him with that bright smile you once had reserved only for him. But that ring is back on his hand now, and the last time it touched you, you called the sex you’d just had a mistake.

Rafe reads the portion you underlined in the book. It makes an ugly mix of pain and anger settle into his core. This has to be about him.

Not your fault. Is that what you really think? That none of this is your fault? That you both crashed and burned all because of him?

He grits his teeth. He was right for what he said the other night. You really do think you’re perfect.

All of your mutual friends know you split up. They’ll piece together that this is about him in a second. There’s no way they won’t. It’s fucking humiliating.

Rafe has no control over his impulses. He never has. That’s why he finds his keys and drives to the marina to find you.

He parks beside your car. His blood is boiling as he rushes down the dock, boats lining the long, uneven boardwalk, but when he spots you, he stops in his tracks.

Your back is to the dock. You’re rubbing your eyes in a way that looks like you’re wiping tears. The book sits beside you.

He’s pissed at you, but seeing you like this makes some of the anger fade.

After coming down from one last cry, you turn to stand and finally go home after hours of sitting and reading. You pick up your book and set to step out onto the dock. And you lock eyes with the man who you’ve done nothing but think about.

Rafe’s mouth opens slightly, but he can’t speak. He closes what little distance remains between you and when he reaches you, his face falls even more once he sees how red your eyes are.

“What are you doing here?” you say.

Your tone is harsh. You look annoyed to see him. It makes anger burn through him all over again.

Rafe steps up onto the edge of the boat, making you shuffle back so he doesn’t bump into you. He towers over you, his eyes hard and cold.

“You think it’s all on me?” he mutters.

“What?” you say.

“That’s what it says, huh?” he says, looking down at the book you’re holding against your chest. “Your stupid little self-help book. Nothing’s your fault.”

“How did…” You look down, shaking your head. He must have found a way to watch your story. And he rushed over here to yell at you about it.

“It’s wrong,” he says. “And the way you’re posting that shit to make me look bad is fucked up.”

“You found out I was here,” you begin, your muscles tense as you stare up at him, “and you came to yell at me over a fucking story? Are you insane?”

“I’m not gonna let you embarass me like that. Delete it.”

“I didn’t do it to embarrass you. I didn’t even mention you,” you mutter sharply. “But you know what?”

You’re spent. You’ve dedicated your day to trying to start your healing process. And you have no more fight left in you.

A stupid post is not worth it. You take out your phone, open your story, and delete it right in front of him.

“There,” you say. You meet his eyes again. “You got what you wanted. Now get out of my way.”

You step to the side to brush past him, but his hand wraps around your forearm. His skin feels so warm and so familiar and so nice and you wish he would stop having this effect on you.

“Rafe,” you say, your tone teetering on whining. “Let me go.”

“You think this is what I wanted?” he says with a humorless laugh.

“What do you want?” you challenge. “To keep fighting with me? Why are you looking at what I post?”

“Why are you posting about me?”

“I already told you, I didn’t even mention you.” You rip your arm out of his grip.

“It’s pretty fucking obvious. Everyone knows we…” He can’t even say broke up out loud. His eyes dart down to the book you’re holding.

“What other bullshit did you read in here, huh?” he mutters. He takes the book out of your hand. Resigned, you let him.

Rafe leafs through the pages, his heart pounding, eyes tracking whatever you’ve underlined.

“You actually spent your money on this?” he scoffs, condescending you.

“You’re such an asshole.”

You consider leaving him here. You can just buy another copy. Spending time with someone so committed to arguing, so committed to making you feel small, is misery.

But then Rafe stops at a page.

He notices a sentence underlined and circled and starred. And he’s prepared to call bullshit on it, simply because you so clearly want to remember it. But when he reads it, he loses some of his composure.

His jaw tightens and he shuts the book, shoving it back towards you. You gaze at him curiously, wondering what he just read that obviously struck him.

“What?” you ask, your guard coming down a little.

The words he just read tumble in his brain. He’s still so angry, still wanting to hit you where it hurts.

“Didn’t work out with the new guy?” he asks.

You swallow hard.

“There’s no new guy. I lied,” you admit. “Just to hurt your feelings. Because that’s what we do, right? We hurt each other on purpose, over and over.”

The relief that washes over Rafe dilutes his anxiety. There’s nobody else.

“And you’re still going to take no blame at all?” he says, eyes fluttering down to the book. “You think it’s normal to lie like that?”

“You bring it out in me,” you retaliate. “And you’re one to talk. Have you ever said sorry to me? Once?”

Rafe always acted like taking any sort of accountability was an admission of worthlessness. As if a sorry was admitting that he’s a bad person.

“Have you?” he asks.

You tense up even more, looking up at him through sad, angry eyes.

“What do I have to be sorry for?” you say.

“For-” His own caught breath interrupts him. He looks away, pissed as hell that his throat is starting to feel scratchy. He can’t cry. “For always making me feel like shit.”

“You always made me feel like shit.”

“See?” He breaths a cynical chuckle. “You don’t even ask how. You just say I did it, too.”

You cross your arms, your book starting to feel heavy in your grip. You hate this feeling, the tinge of powerlessness when he brings up a good point.

“How, then?” you ask begrudgingly.

“You brought up old fights all the time,” he snaps.

“That’s not fair,” you say. “I did that because I never got an apology. Or any sort of closure.”

“Then, talk about it when it happens,” he says. “Don’t bitch about something from a million years ago.”

“I didn’t bitch,” you say sharply. “Don’t use that word.”

“You know I’m right,” he says. “I never knew when you were going to get pissed off. We’d be having fun and then out of fucking nowhere…”

He sighs again and looks down, his hands on his hips.

You want to counter that he was exactly like that. Because he was. He used to fly off the handle with no warning all the time. Maybe he walked on eggshells, but so did you.

You swallow your reflex to fight back. You’re sure it’s all the reading you’ve been doing about taking responsibility. You can admit you’re guilty of what he’s accusing you of.

Throughout your relationship, you’d be having a good time together and out of nowhere, you’d think of an old fight that was left unresolved and reminded him of what an asshole he could be.

Just like that, you can understand a part of his side. You had always thought of him as completely in the wrong. It was perpetually about winning or losing between you two. Black and white.

But maybe it’s gray. Because while you were wondering how someone who was supposed to love you could be so cruel, you were cruel in your own way. And you adored him.

“Talking about it when it happened was impossible. We never resolved anything,” you say. “And that weighed on me. I hated how you never said sorry. But I know I… blindsided you sometimes.”

Rafe blinks a few times, looking at you with a softness you haven’t seen in a long time.

You actually admitted to it. He doesn’t feel self-righteous like he thought he would. He feels better than that. Understood, for once.

“But you’d do something shitty and then just expect me to get over it,” you continue. “And if I cried, you made me feel sensitive and crazy for being hurt. But of course I was hurt, Rafe. I loved you.”

He licks his lips, his eyes boring into you, his chest starting to rise and fall faster. He didn’t miss the past tense.

“You don’t anymore,” he says, disbelief and desperation in his voice.

You stare up at him. And you respond honestly.

“I don’t know,” you say, your voice wavering.

“How do you not know?” he says tersely.

“Do you love me?” you say. “You never said it.”

“Yeah, I did,” he sighs. “God, you were always so hung up on that. Why did I have to say it all the damn time? I showed it.”

He was always tense about this. It’s hard to actually say the words. And he hates how bad you made him feel for discomfort he couldn’t control.

He never heard it growing up. He never had anyone to say it to. Then, with you, it’s like he was expected to say it every hour.

It made him feel inadequate, every time you pestered him for not saying it. Like he wasn’t enough for you unless he said three words.

“Do you?” you repeat.

There’s a tangled heap of feelings sitting on his chest. He’s torn between wanting to hurt you and wanting to win this argument and wanting to hear you love him and wanting to storm away.

His pride is too fucking heavy. If you won’t say you love him, he’s not saying it to you.

He doesn’t answer. And you realize his eyes are glossy.

“Are you crying?” you ask gently.

Typically, you’d pretend you didn’t notice because he loathes crying in front of you. It embarrasses him. But this isn’t a typical conversation.

“You really think we’re sick together?” he rasps.

You know exactly what part of your book he read now. You read that line over and over again. It’s better to be healthy alone than sick together.

“Yeah,” you say quietly.

Rafe can’t stop the tear that drops onto his cheek. Frustrated, he wipes it away.

“And you can make fun of me for reading books like this all you want,” you say, “but they really do help. I need to be healthy on my own first if I want to be healthy with someone else.”

Something that looks like fear flashes over his face.

“You want to be with someone else?” Rafe asks. “Who?”

You gaze up at him with a cocked head, actually feeling sympathy for his insecurity. He always bordered on hysteria over the idea of you with another man. He always was so sure you’d find someone more suited for you.

“No. Right now, it’s important for me to get better,” you say. “By myself.”

“And what if…” He shakes his head. “What if I get better, too?”

It’s the most vulnerable he’s been this whole conversation. Maybe the most vulnerable he’s been with you ever.

You search his handsome, pained face for any indication of this being a cruel joke.

“What do you mean?” you ask.

Rafe doesn’t know how to navigate this. You had each other at your worst, but you still fell in love. How happy could you be at your best?

“If I get better, too, are you going to want…” It’s too nerve-wracking to directly ask if you’ll want him. He feels like such a coward.

“You?” you say.

His jaw tenses in discomfort. You exhale shakily.

This doesn’t have to be a test of pride, a game of win or lose like it always was with him. You can be honest. Because you already had to say goodbye to the person who once made you the happiest you’d ever been, so there’s nothing left to lose.

“If we really are better,” you finally say, “yeah. We can try this again. If you want to.”

Rafe knows he shouldn’t, but he wants to touch you so badly that it’s hurting him. This feels too fragile, though. One wrong move could break this sense of amiability you two haven’t had together in ages.

“I want to,” he admits.

For the first time in weeks, hope blooms in your chest. You always thought he was so stubborn. That he didn’t think he had anything wrong with him, and therefore, nothing to fix.

But he’s willing to work on himself. And you are, too. Maybe this isn’t doomed after all.

“We’ll give it a few weeks, okay?” you say softly. “And after, we’ll talk and… see what happens.”

Rafe wants to ask if you’ll unblock him, but he’s opened himself up to enough risk of rejection since this conversation started. He accepts the discomfort of not knowing.

He can only say a tense, “Okay.” And he can’t cry in front of you anymore. And he can’t handle how confusing it is to feel hopeful and angry and sad all at once.

He leaves. Because the only way he can comfortably let out overwhelming emotions is through a fight, and that’s not an option right now.

You watch him go, left to wonder if this is just delaying further heartbreak, or if one day, you actually can be the people you need each other to be.

(part three)

[1onelypoet]

sweet tooth (for you) || lando norris smau

a/n: we're backkkkkk!!! making this took way more time than I expected but hopefully it's better quality?? also I have an actual plan for how the story will unfold so (ik, shocking) 😍

pairing: lando norris x singer! ex-leclerc! reader

fc: reneé rapp

warnings: cursing

disclaimer: this is completely fictional. no hate meant towards anyone mentioned.

part two, part three, part four

popculture August 7

liked by f1gossip, user1, user2 and others

tagged yourusername, charles_leclerc

popculture Singer Y/n L/n's boyfriend of 3 years, Charles Leclerc, has been spotted with another woman.

The Ferrari driver was seen spending his summer break in Corsica on a boat with the unamed woman yesterday. He was pictured talking to her and kissing her, leading us to wonder: where is Y/n? The singer was last spotted in Monaco, where she and Charles share an apartment.

Neither party has said anything about the situation as of now.

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user3 WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK THOS ODNT REAL I CANNOT DO THIS JOW COULD HE MP

user3 CHALRES LECELREC WHEN I SEE UOU

user4 poor y/n :(

user5 ikr, hope she's doing okay :( ↳ user4 also if we assume that she found out via ig :(

user6 if THE y/n l/n gets cheated on there's no hope for us

user7 love isn't real.

user8 the new album is going to slap

yourusername added to their story August 7

seen by carlossainz55, yukitsunoda0511, gracieabrams and others

replies have been disabled

yourusername August 9

liked by charlottesiine, lilymhe, sabrinacarpenter and others

yourusername maybe i should try religion cus jesus ur hard 2 rely on

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yourbff my love <3

yourusername <3

carmenmmundt sending love 🫶🏼

user9 HE DOESNT DESERVE U BAE

addisonraee main character.

user10 NEW MUSIC HELLO???

user11 ITS GONNA BE FUCKING FIRE OMG ↳ user10 THE WAY ITS BEEN 2 DAYS AND SHES ALREADY IN THE STUDIO IS SO ICONIC MOTHER IS MOTHERING

lilymhe love u babe ❤️

yourusername love u too lils❤️

user12 are those song lyrics i see in the caption 🤨

f1gossip August 9

liked by manonsworld, user14, user15 and others

tagged charles_leclerc

f1gossip More unseen photos of Charles and his unamed beau

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user16 this is actually really sad

user17 Charles, I just want to have a chat! 🤗

user17 🔪🔪

user18 bro imagine being y/n and just seeing ur bf publicly cheat on u

user19 someone HAS to know who she is, like 🤨

user20 i bet the twitter stans are already on it

yourbff added to their story August 11

seen by yourusername, anasainzvdec, landonorris and others

f1gossipgirl August 12

liked by f1gossip, user21, user22 and others

tagged charles_leclerc, manonsworld

f1gossipgirl Paparazzi photos taken of Charles Leclerc and Manon Bernardi enjoying their holiday

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user23 oh thats not...

user24 I mean she's really pretty but um

user25 Cute couple!

user26 bffr ↳ user27 HELP

user28 how r u guys getting these pics what???

yourusername August 15

liked by luisinhaoliveira99, landonorris, spotify and others

tagged charlottesiine, isahernaez, itselenaberri, katerinaberezhna, luisinhaoliveira99

yourusername girls night out 🥂

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luisinhaoliveira99 ❤️❤️❤️

charlottesiine had so much fun 💓

user29 the ex wags supporting eachother is so precious 🥹

user30 they're such cuties 🥹🥹

itselenaberri 👯🏼‍♀️👯🏼‍♀️

user31 THIS IS ICONIC OMG

isahernaez my fav girls 🫶🏼

katerinaberezhna ❤️‍🔥💋

yourusername August 19

liked by landonorris, lizzymcalpine, yourbff and others

tagged yukitsunoda0511, yourbff

yourusername surprise coming soon yay

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yukitsunoda0511 who dat boi 😎​

yourusername pls never say that again u sound like a frat boy ↳ yukitsunoda0511 maybe i am a frat boy ↳ yourusername ...no ❤️

yourbff loveeee the crying pics!

yourusername ty pookie

user32 THE HIS LOSS CAKE QUEEN BEHAVIOR

user33 AND THE SHIRT?? IM DECEASED

user34 it's an album announcement it's an album announcement it's an album announcement it's an album announcement it's an album announcement it's an album announcement it's an album announcement it's

yourusername added to their story August 21

seen by yourbff, landonorris, f1gossip and others

yourusername August 22

liked by gracieabrams, conangray, lilymhe and others

yourusername i was originally planning on making an ep, most likely called talk too much, with somewhat final drafts of pretty girls, 23, i wish, willow, talk too much, and gemini moon for the tracklist. but, as some of you guys know, my life took a drastic turn in august. in the past month i have tried to distract myself as much as possible, constantly on the move, whether it was actually moving out of my apartment or hanging out with my friends. but when i worked on my music i let myself really feel. feel the pain and the betrayal. and so, after way too many late night runs to mcdonalds, mental breakdowns, calls with my therapist, and movie marathons, i had six more songs.

and so snow angel was born.

even though i know this isn't going to get rid of the pain, which will probably linger in the depths of my insecurities for years to come, snow angel is the step i needed to take to reach acceptance.

thank you to everyone who made this album possible: my fans, friends, producers, family -- i truly could not have done this without you.

i love you all.

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lilymhe MOTHER IS MOTHERING

landonorris Great album!

yourusername tysm lando 🤗

user35 UM??

oliviarodrigo not okay rn

yukitsunoda0511 slayyyy 🔥💅🌈

user36 yuki, babe, what is this... ↳ yourusername we'd all like to know 😔

yourbff I LOVE YOU POOKIE BEAR 😻😻

yourusername I LOVE YOU TOO CUDDLEMUFFIN 😘

carla.brocker Talented, Brilliant, Incredible, Amazing, Showstopping, Spectacular, Never The Same, Totally Unique, Completely Not Ever Been Done Before, Unafraid To Reference Or Not Reference

leclerc_pascale ❤️❤️❤️

yourusername 💗💗

danielricciardo pop offff (did I use that right?)

yourusername thanks! (yes but it sounded cringe) ↳ landonorris hm (y/n's being nice, it was atrocious)

spotify on repeat.

rachelzegler omg

[vampiriito]

Pillow talk and the fifth amendment (2)

(JJ Maybank x pogue! reader x Rafe Cameron ) ..in which you found yourself torn between two worlds when your best friend, JJ Maybank, who you've been in love with since forever starts dating Kiara. In a jealousy haze you start hooking up with Rafe Cameron, the infamous kook prince. Do you manage to keep everything casual and under control? No, is it fun? Also kind of no, given you hate yourself each time you managed to orgasm. And especially since Rafe's favorite activity is to pick on you and your friends outside the bedroom..

"Casual"

variants or less commonly friends with benefits or fuck buddies

chiefly US

"A relationship without any strings attached, no need for feelings or emotions just something to do when you're bored. No loyalties so can be with multiple people if would like to. Rather than having a relationship that focuses on the emotional needs, this type of relationship is based only on sexual needs. In between boyfriends? Feeling restless? Horny? Lonely? Jealous of your best friend dating someone else? It's at this time when you call up your your "friend" and fullfill the "obligations" of a casual relationship. During this, you are fullfulling your sexual needs. "

Smoking weed has always been your favorite past time. Especially with JJ. It made things more intense. You always felt like you and JJ had more tension than usual when you were high, more prone to kissing. That was until he started dating Kie 3 months ago. It was never the same. It became a way to get yourself to feel more paranoid and jumpy, more irritated. Especially when in front of you JJ was sitting cuddled up with Kiara, whispering shit in her ear and then disappearing to makeout or do other stuff. It was hell truly.

Still, here you were. Smoking weed with the pogues on the HMS pogue out in the water on a awfully hot day. The blunt was passed around on the boat, John B and Pope arguing about something while Sarah next to her boyfriend chiming in from time to time. It was worse for you. Kiara and JJ were sitting next to each other giggling like dumbasses and sharing a bottle of beer while high out of their minds, while you sat next to Sarah, only half listening to the playful banter. Mainly cause of the talk JJ had with you 3 days ago at the party, about wanting to kiss you and such. It felt like a cheap drunk set-up and you felt used. Although you didn't bring it up to him. You had no right and it would make it weird. Weirder than it already was.

JJ was high and buzzed, both the alcohol and weed mixing together in his system. He was feeling good and giggly, and his mind was occupied half the time on what his friends were talking about, and the other half the time completely focused on Kiara who was sitting next to him, pressed up against his side with her arm wrapped around his waist. As they whispered to eachother, and shared little giggles about random inside jokes they had and secret comments, JJ couldn't help but glance over at you and Sarah every now and then from the corner of his eyes.

He continued to glance in your direction here and there, noticing the slightly bitter look on your face as you smoked the joint with Pope and John B. He couldn't tell if you were just in a bad mood, or if there was also something else bothering you, but he didn't want to assume anything. His attention was soon grabbed back to Kiara, as she whispered something in his ear and her fingertips played with the waistband of his shorts.

He let out a low chuckle in response to whatever Kiara had whispered, his eyes flickering back to you for just a moment.

"You're a menace, you know that," he replied, looking down at her with a smirk. He let his gaze wander around the boat, taking in the relaxed atmosphere and the bickering between John B and Pope about some nonsense as they passed the joint around. His eyes landed on you once more, seeming to linger there for a few seconds longer this time.

He couldn't stop himself from thinking about what had happened between the two of you a few days back at the party, and wondered what you were thinking about. Did you regret doing that? Did you hate his guts for talking to you the following day like normal and being all drunk and stupid at the party? His thoughts were interrupted when Kiara spoke up to him again, her voice bringing him back to the present and the little pocket of reality on the boat.

"Hey, earth to JJ.." She gently elbowed him in the side, her voice filled with playful annoyance. "I was saying that we should find a secluded spot for a little while."

He glanced back at her and smirked, his mind already going to what she was suggesting.

He chuckled and nodded, turning his head towards her. "Oh yeah? And what exactly are you planning on doing once we find this secluded spot, hm?"

He spoke with a grin, his voice lowering as they continued to speak just to each other, ignoring the others around them in their own little world again.

She smirked back at him, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "Oh, you know... Just a little bit of... Exploration."

She let her fingers wander back up to the waistband of his shorts, playing with the fabric and tracing her fingertips against his skin.

He shivered at the touch of her fingers as they played with the waistband of his shorts, igniting a spark of desire within him. He leaned in a little closer, his eyes flickering down to her lips before meeting her gaze again.

"Yeah? I'm always down for some...exploration."

She leaned in closer as well, her eyes flickering down to his lips and then back up at his eyes.

"Good," she whispered, her voice low and sultry. She inched even closer, making sure their bodies were pressed together. "Then let's get off this boat and go find somewhere private."

You tried to keep your gaze on Pope who was talking about something while Sarah snuggled into JB's side, occasionally laughing at his jokes but it was futile. So when the blunt was passed back to you, you made sure to take the longest drag up until now, exhaling the smoke slowly while simultaneously laughing at Pope. Which resulted in you coughing while laughing. "And you're telling me you-.. said that to her?" you asked Pope, who was telling you about his attempt at picking up a girl at the party 3 days ago. Which was funnier while high.

John B chuckled as he heard the end of Pope's story, his hand idly rubbing Sarah's shoulder while she snuggled into his side, half-listening to the conversation.

"Yeah he did." He chimed in, looking at Pope and shaking his head. "And she just walked away right after. Didn't stick around to hear the rest of his pitch."

"Are you kidding me?" you pouted slightly, looking at Pope, "I'll teach you some pick up lines.." you said teasingly, feigning disappointment.

Pope rolled his eyes playfully, a smirk on his lips as he responded. "Yeah, yeah, like you can do any better."

John B chuckled, his arm casually wrapping around Sarah's shoulder as he nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I'd like to see you do better."

"Hey i got laid 2 times at the party.. I'd say my charm worked.." you shrugged pointing to a fading mark on your neck and another one on your shoulder proudly.

All three of the boys looked at you in surprise when you mentioned that, their eyes quickly going to the marks on your neck and shoulder. John B and Pope exchanged a glance with each other as they realized what they were looking at, while JJ visibly tensed for a second before masking it with a smirk.

"Damn, looks like someone's been busy." JJ tried to keep his voice casual but still couldn't hide the hint of curiosity in his tone.

"It was the same guy both times.." you told JB, Pope and Sarah after casting a silent glance in JJ's direction, studying him and Kiara without saying a word.

JB and Pope's eyebrows raised in surprise at your admission, sharing another quick glance between them. John B was the first to speak up, looking at you with slight disbelief.

"The same guy? Twice? Damn.." He chuckled, shaking his head. "Lucky bastard."

"Well.. he's good at what he does.. lemme tell you that." you smirked, taking a drag from the blunt when it was passed to you, adjusting your glasses.

All three boys chuckled at your comment, clearly impressed and slightly jealous. They hadn't expected you to actually answer so openly and casually about the subject.

"I bet he's good, given that he scored twice." JJ spoke up before he could stop himself, the words slipping out as he continued to glance at you from time to time.

"Oh not just twice." you stated simply, glancing at JJ, a silent smugness in your gaze before grinning lazily to the others.

The boys' eyes widened at your words, their jaws practically dropped as they tried to keep their expressions somewhat neutral.

Pope couldn't help but blurt out a response, his voice filled with disbelief. "Wait, what do you mean 'not just twice'?"

That's why you hated smoking. It made you more bold. Especially since you were slightly bitter from all the flirting JJ was doing with his girlfriend in front of you. Still maybe you shouldn't have brought up the subject. "We've been hooking up for weeks." you shrugged casually.

The boys were completely stunned at your candid revelation, their mouths opening and closing a few times as they tried to process what you had just said.

John B's eyebrows were raised so high they were almost lost in his hairline, while Pope just stared at you with a mixture of surprise and disbelief. JJ's expression was the most neutral, but his eyes were fixated on you as he absorbed the information.

"Wait, 'weeks'?" Finally, Pope managed to utter a coherent response, his voice filled with shock as his eyes widened in surprise.

"3 Months.. roughly." you hummed, fidgeting with your glasses almost lost in thought.

John B and Pope were flabbergasted at your response, their jaws dropping open once more as they tried to wrap their minds around the revelation that you had been hooking up with someone for months.

JJ, however, remained silent for a moment, his expression still neutral though his eyes told a different story. He tried to play it cool, but there was a slight hint of disbelief and something else - perhaps jealousy? - mixed in with his emotions.

He cleared his throat, trying to force a casual tone into his voice. "And this guy, you see each other... regularly?"

"Here and there... it's mainly me doing the requests of hooking up.." you shrugged, adjusting your glasses almost smugly.

The boys exchanged glances, each of them still trying to process the information you had just dropped on them.

John B let out a low whistle, his gaze wandering over to JJ who had gone unusually quiet. "Sounds like you're making some guy very, very happy."

Pope looked at you with a mix of awe and disbelief, shaking his head slightly.

"Damn, three months. That's a long time. The guy must be having the time of his life."

"We don't really get along outside of sleeping together... it's just... beneficial i guess.." you sighed, the weed suddenly intensifying the guilt washing over you. That was the thing with weed, it made you more bold, which wasn't good, because you were sleeping with Rafe Cameron. One of the few people who was a total ass to your friends. And also Sarah's older brother.

The boys exchanged glances again, their eyes widening as they digested your confession.

John B chuckled dryly, shaking his head slightly. "That's, uh... That's definitely a... beneficial arrangement, all right."

JJ was still silent, his eyes fixed on you as his mind reeled. He couldn't believe what he was hearing and he didn't know how to feel about it.

Pope was still trying to wrap his head around the situation. "Wow, it's like... enemies with benefits."

"Yeah... exactly like that." you grinned pointing to Pope.

Pope returned the grin, a smirk spreading across his face. "Enemies with benefits. That's a new one."

John B snickered and shook his head again, his voice still filled with disbelief. "I'm guessing this whole thing is pretty secret then?"

"Yep.. he's older. So y'know.." you nodded sheepishly, "his friends almost walked in on me giving him head at the party 3 days ago.. so i think they know."

The boys' eyebrows shot up at your revelation. John B's eyes widened in surprise while Pope let out a low whistle.

JJ's jaw clenched slightly, his expression still deceptively neutral as he forced himself to speak. "He's... older? How much older?"

"I think he's 21.. or 20. Not sure.." you mumbled, trying to count the age gap in your mind.

The boys exchanged another glance, their eyebrows practically meeting their hairlines as they absorbed this new piece of information.

Pope whistled lowly again. "21 or 20? Damn girl, you really going for the experienced ones, aren't you?"

"Trust me. He knows what he's doing.." you looked between all 5 pogues, your mind flashing back at all the times you hooked up with Rafe. The guilt was still there, given you were doing something like that behind their backs, knowing that they'd probably hate you if they knew it was Rafe. But you still kept talking. Because word vomit did not stop once it came out. Maybe you could finesse this.

The boys listened in silence, their eyes glued to you as you spoke.

John B shifted slightly, his arm still wrapped around Sarah who had been quietly listening to the conversation. "Is there... something more to this than just hooking up, or...?"

"No. We're not a couple by any means. Just fuckbuddies i guess." you replied. You were obviously leaving out the part that you were doing it cause you were in love with JJ. Who was with Kiara.

The boys nodded thoughtfully, their expressions showing a mix of surprise and mild interest at your explanation. JJ looked at you intently, a subtle frown briefly flickering across his face and a slight tension in his jaw.

Pope couldn't help but ask another question. "So... this 'beneficial arrangement' of yours, how'd it... start?"

The question you dreaded most was finally asked. You couldn't tell them that the day JJ and Kiara got together you got blackout drunk and hooked up with Rafe Cameron out of heartbreak and bitterness. That'd be insane. So you just stuck with a vague answer. "Drunk mistake. And then... i dunno, sober mistakes.."

John B nodded, his eyebrows raised slightly.

"Drunk mistakes, huh? Sounds like my kind of story." He chuckled softly, glancing at Sarah who still snuggled into his side. Pope smirked as well, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

JJ, on the other hand, remained silent, his expression unreadable. His mind was racing, filled with questions and suspicions about the mysterious guy you were hooking up with.

Pope was the first to speak again, his voice holding a mixture of curiosity and envy. "So, uh... what's this guy like? Aside from the whole being 21 or 20 thing."

"Kinky." You stated simply, looking around the boat before reaching for the blunt discarded on the ashtray, lighting it and taking a slow drag.

Pope chuckled at your simple but direct response, while John B raised his eyebrows and smirked a little.

JJ, on the other hand, tensed up again. The blunt had clearly been doing wonders for your confidence and his mind couldn't help but wonder if you would say more. But he still said nothing, listening intently as the others kept asking questions.

John B gestured for you to pass the blunt to him, which you did, while Pope leaned forwards, a sly smile on his face.

His voice was sly and curious as he spoke, his eyes locked on yours. "So, how... kinky exactly are we talking about here? I'm just curious."

"He let me spit in his mouth." you chuckled lazily, giving Pope one example of many. Because if Rafe was anything, he was kinky all through and through.

John B almost choked on the smoke he was exhaling, coughing as he looked at you in surprise.

Pope's eyes widened in disbelief, a mix of shock and fascination on his face.

But JJ's reaction was more subtle. His eyes darkened slightly, a muscle in his jaw twitching as he tried to keep his expression neutral.

John B finally managed to recover, wiping his watering eyes before speaking up again. "He let you spit in his mouth? Like... literally?"

"Yes. Literally. I was like... riding him or whatever.. and i go 'you want me to spit in your mouth?' and he goes 'yes give it to me.'" you snorted, recalling the moment, your cheeks flushing slightly.

The Pogues were completely floored by your answer.

John B's eyebrows shot up, Pope whistled lowly, and JJ's knuckles clenched involuntarily.

For a moment, no one spoke, the awkward silence broken only when Sarah let out a low chuckle.

John B glanced at her, a look of surprise on his face.

He'd kinda forgotten she was even there, given the conversation had been so.... interesting. "What's so funny, Goldilocks?"

Sarah chuckled again, a small smirk playing on her lips. "Nothing. You guys are just so... shocked. It's adorable."

John B chuckled incredulously, shaking his head in disbelief. "Adorable is not the word I'd use for this."

Pope smirked as well, his voice still tinged with disbelief. "Yeah, none of us were expecting to hear something like that, were we, JJ?" He looked over at JJ, who had been unusually quiet through this whole conversation.

JJ looked up slowly, his eyes meeting yours for a brief moment before moving away again. He gave a careless shrug, his expression carefully controlled. "I don't know. I don't really go for the kinky stuff."

"Seems like you and Kie have it boring then huh?" you snorted teasingly, looking between him and Kiara, his arm still drapped across her shoulder Which was meant as a joke. Because you knew from countless talks you had with JJ while high that he definitely went for the kinky stuff.

For some reason, that comment rubbed JJ the wrong way. Maybe it was because he could sense the hint of bitterness behind your tone, or maybe it was something else. Either way, he couldn't help but respond.

"Boring ain't a word I'd use, darling," he said, his voice low and slightly colder than usual.

Kiara raised an eyebrow at him, noticing the change in his tone. She shot him a look, a slight frown on her face. "Why are you being so bitchy about it, JJ?"

JJ shrugged carelessly, taking a swig of his beer before replying. "I'm not being bitchy. I just don't think it's any of your business what me and Kie do together, all right?"

"Oh yeah... sure." you replied, nodding with a small awkward smile. The weed was tempting you to just bring up the fact that he was drunkenly begging you to hook up with him 3 days ago, after he admitted he wasn't faithful entirely to his girlfriend. But you didn't wanna be a bitch and ruin the hang out. So you just gave him a small knowing look before taking a drag of the blunt when it was passed back to you.

The others continued chatting and passing the blunts around, but JJ's mind was stuck on your earlier comment. He couldn't stop thinking about the hint of bitterness he had heard in your voice. Was it a hint of... jealousy? No, that didn't make sense. You were hooking up with someone else, you weren't in a position to be jealous of him and Kiara.

He glanced sideways at you, his thoughts racing. Your little knowing look and the way you smirked at him was making his brain work overtime.

The conversation had mostly moved on from your earlier revelation, the Pogues talking about different topics and sipping their beers. JJ, however, couldn't shake the strange feeling that had settled in the pit of his stomach. He kept stealing glances at you, his mind still spinning.

He didn't understand why he was feeling so... irritated. Why was he letting your comments get to him? And why was he suddenly so interested in this mystery guy you were seeing?

His eyes followed you as you moved, taking another drag of your blunt, your lips wrapped around the tip in a way that sent a shiver down his spine. He quickly looked away, taking a gulp of beer to distract himself. This was crazy. He was supposed to be happy with Kiara, not staring at you like some creepy weirdo.

JJ found himself watching you more closely, his eyes following your every move. He noticed the way your fingers fidgeted, the way you held the blunt, the way you laughed, the way you smirked. Every little detail suddenly seemed so much more important to him. He took another swig of his beer, his mind still swirling with conflicting thoughts.

You noticed JJ's gaze on you. It was kinda hard not to, to be honest. You glanced at him, your smirk faltering for a split second and coming back almost instantly. You were pleased with the fact that he was bitter for some reason, despite being with Kiara. It was a sick and twisted kind of feeling. It made you wonder, how will he react knowing the mystery man was Rafe, the person he hated most. You glanced back at Pope, snorting in amusement at something he said, adjusting your glasses.

JJ's eyes darkened as he watched you laugh and interact with the others, a mix of irritation and fascination coursing through his veins. He gritted his teeth, the sound of your laugh fueling his irritation further. He could feel a tightness in his chest, a strange feeling of possessiveness that he had never felt before. It was infuriating and he couldn't understand why you were affecting him this way.

After another moment, he looked away, his gaze drifting over to Kiara who was still snuggled into his side.

Kiara glanced up at him, noticing the look on his face. She frowned a little, tilting her head. "You okay, baby?" She asked, her voice soft and filled with concern.

JJ forced a smile, nodding quickly. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just..." He looked over at you again, his eyes narrowing slightly. "Just... distracted, I guess."

"See Pope.. the thing about me is that i will actually do it." You declared proudly, standing up on your feet on the deck of the boat. You took your glasses off, your shorts and vans following, leaving you only in your light blue bathing suit. You grinned, an obvious high grin on your face before back flipping into the water below. Mainly to cool yourself off from the scorching heat and weed. And JJ's heated gaze on the side of your head.

Pope laughed in response, watching you leap off the boat with a mix of admiration and amusement. John B and Sarah chuckled too, while Kiara giggled into JJ's shoulder.

JJ, however, was completely frozen. The sight of you in that bathing suit had rendered him speechless. His eyes stayed glued to the spot where you had been standing, his thoughts racing once more.

He had seen you in bathing suits countless times before. It wasn't a new sight by any means. But something about this time was different. The way the water glistened on your tanned skin, the way the swimsuit clung to your curves, the way your hair became even messier as it got wet. It was all intoxicating to him and it was driving him crazy.

You emerged under the water, pointing to the pogues on the deck on the HMS pogue with a small holler. You suddenly felt lighter, cooled down as you looked up and grinned excitedly, your wet locks sticking to your face and dripping from you as you floated above the surface. Your hands swatted the wet hair from your face, sputtering some water from your mouth.

The Pogues on the deck laughed and cheered, calling out to you and teasing you about your dramatic dive into the water. John B was chuckling, Sarah and Kiara were giggling, and Pope was shaking his head in amusement.

JJ, on the other hand, was still speechless. His eyes drank in every detail of your wet body, his mind going into overdrive. He could feel his heart rate increasing.

He forced his gaze away, tearing his eyes away from you as you splashed around in the water. He took another gulp of his beer, trying to calm the strange feeling raging in his chest. Was this normal? Surely it was just the alcohol and weed messing with his brain, messing with his emotions. It had to be.

He glanced down at Kiara, who was still watching you in the water, her head resting on his shoulder.

"Did anyone bring a towel?" You asked, giggling like a dumbass while you waved your hands above your head and in the water, splashing around while you emerged and submerged from the water from time to time.

John B chuckled, shaking his head. "Nope, sorry sis. You're gonna have to air dry."

Pope and Sarah were laughing, amused by your antics. Kiara chimed in from beside JJ, calling out to you. "You'll just have to drip dry."

You flipped them all off, narrowing your eyes as you looked up at them on the boat, the sun blinding you slightly, "i think my heels touched the back of my head..." you snorted, causing you sputter some more water from your mouth.

The Pogues snickered at that, exchanging amused looks with each other. They could tell you had been feeling the weed and alcohol a little more, with your exaggerated and hilarious reactions.

JJ couldn't help but chuckle too, his eyes shifting to you in the water again. He tried to keep his expression neutral, but the sight of you, wet and smiling, was making it harder and harder to control his thoughts.

He took another gulp of his beer, his mind still swirling with contradictions. Part of him wanted to jump into the water with you, join in the laughter, and forget about the strange feelings he was experiencing.

But another part of him, a part he didn't understand, wanted to just look at you, take in every bit of your wet body, commit it to memory. It was driving him insane.

He clenched his jaw, trying to push the intrusive thoughts away. He was in a relationship dammit, he had no right to think these things about you. He was just being influenced by the alcohol, the weed, the atmosphere. That was it. Nothing more.

But as he watched you sputtering and laughing in the water, the way the sunlight shone on your skin, making it gleam and shine... his resolve was slowly starting to crack.

You continued splash around, giggling while swimming around the boat, "I'm so high guys... i can barely feel my legs.." you spoke, hollering once again and whooping the water gently.

The Pogues all laughed, some of them hollering and whooping back. They were all enjoying the high a little too much, the whole scene taking a light and carefree atmosphere.

JJ couldn't help but smirk at your antics, your laughter and whooing making his mind spin even more. The sight of you, carefree and high, was both enchanting and infuriating.

He took another swig of his beer, his mind going into overdrive. What was this feeling? Why was he getting so worked up over you just enjoying yourself? He had seen you in a bathing suit countless times before, he knew what you looked like wet and laughing.

But this time… this time was different. The alcohol and weed were making it harder for him to control his thoughts. Harder for him to ignore the possessive and territorial feelings bubbling underneath the surface.

His eyes followed your every move, watching as you continued to swim and splash around. He wanted to look away, to stop himself from staring, but he couldn’t. It was like your high and carefree attitude had him hypnotized, making it impossible for him to look anywhere else.

As he stared, taking in every detail of your wet body, the sound of Kiara’s voice suddenly jolted him out of his trance.

"Hey," Kiara said softly, her voice a sharp contrast to the laughter and whooping around you. She looked up at JJ with a small frown, her eyes narrowing.

JJ blinked, breaking out of his trance. He turned to look at Kiara, his expression shifting back to its neutral state from before. "Yeah?"

"You're watching her a lot..." Kiara noted, a hint of annoyance in her tone. JJ tensed up, realizing he had been caught.

He tried to play it off, shrugging casually. "Am I? I didn't even notice."

Kiara's frown deepened, her eyes narrowing further. She obviously wasn't convinced by his attempt to play it off. She tilted her head, studying him intently.

"You sure you didn't notice? Cuz I swear, your eyes haven't left her body for the past five minutes."

JJ blinked again, mentally cursing himself. He could feel the heat rising in his cheeks as Kiara called him out. He tried to keep his voice steady.

"I was just... keeping an eye on her, ya know. Making sure she's alright, since she's high as a kite and all."

Kiara raised an eyebrow, skepticism written all over her face. "Really? Is that why you're ogling her like you've never seen a girl in a bathing suit before? Gimme a break."

"Guys... there's a boat comin'.." you called out, facing away from the pogues, putting an unknowing stop to JJ's and Kiara's small argument. And it was true, there was a boat approaching. And by the looks of it, it looked like one full of kooks, hollering and laughing.

John B and the rest of the Pogues were immediately on high alert. They all sat up straight, the carefree mood instantly being shattered by the sight of the approaching boat.

John B squinted, trying to make out the details of the oncoming boat. "Shit. Kooks."

As they approached though, you could faintly make out the people on the boat, due to the lack of glasses and water in your eyes. And you felt a slight panic rise in your chest. Rafe Cameron. With other kooks, laughing and hollering loudly, music playing from somewhere on the big yacht. The boat came to a stop, a feet good feet beside you, Rafe peering down at your form in the water smirking.

The Pogues tensed up as the boat came into view, their eyes going wide as they recognized Rafe and his crew. JJ in particular bristled, his jaw clenching tightly as he saw Rafe's smirk.

As the boat rocked onto the water beside the Pogue, Rafe's eyes landed on you, a predatory grin spreading on his face. He leaned over the side of the boat, his gaze wandering over your body in the water.

"Well, well, well. Look who we've got here." Rafe drawled, his tone dripping with faux politeness. His eyes roamed over your form, his grin becoming more wolfish as he took in your appearance.

You were desperately praying he wouldn't say anything to give out the nature of your relationship, especially when you had just told the pogues about your secret hook up buddy just a little bit ago. "In flesh and bones.." you smirked sardonically, eyeing him with a gaze that silently said 'behave yourself.'

Rafe laughed, leaning even further over the edge of the boat. His eyes were still roving over your body, taking in every inch of you. The other kooks behind him were snickering and giggling, clearly amused by the scene.

"Well if it isn't good ol' party princess. Enjoying the afternoon?" he said, his voice dripping with mock innocence.

"Very much so.." you nodded in mock curtness, glancing back at the pogues on the HMS pogue behind you, eyeing the exchange with a hint of worry and concern.

Rafe chuckled again, his eyes flickering to the Pogues for a moment before returning to you. He could sense their worry, their unease. It seemed to amuse him even more.

"Looks like you've been having some fun out here, huh? Getting all wet and wild, like usual." he taunted, his tone suggestive and cocky.

"You sound like a lame villain from a kids' cartoon.." you called back, deadpanning and trying to communicate silently that he was gonna owe you for this interaction later when you saw each other.

Rafe chuckled at that, slightly taken aback by your blunt response. He wasn't used to you being so sarcastic and unimpressed in public. But he also knew you were just playing it cool, for the sake of the Pogues behind you. It amused him.

"Oh, you've got yourself a comedian here, guys.." he mock-yelled to his friends behind him, who snickered and hooted in response.

He turned back to you, his smirk widening into a sly grin. "We're throwing a party tonight on The Wreck. You should come by. It's gonna be a real rager."

"Yeah... uh, I'll pass.. Thanks for the invite though.." you denied feigning politeness as you fixed him with a irritated look.

Rafe's smirk turned into a scowl at your refusal. He didn't like being turned down, especially in front of his friends.

"Oh, come on. Don't be a buzzkill. It'll be fun. I'm sure your little friends will love it too." He gestured over to the Pogues behind you, his tone becoming more derisive.

JJ's face darkened as Rafe gestured to the Pogues. He knew exactly what Rafe was trying to do, and it wasn't going to fly.

"We're not interested in your snob party, Rafe." he shot back, glaring up at Rafe with open hostility.

Rafe's eyes narrowed as he met JJ's glare. He was clearly not used to being defied like this, especially by a Pogue.

"Oh, relax, Maybank. You're just pissed because you can't afford the champagne we're serving." he sneered.

"You know i don't get drunk off of champagne Rafe... I'm more of a hard liquor girl.." you mumbled, stepping in with a cold irritated comeback. You knew Rafe disliked JJ more since you both have started secretly hooking up, mainly cause you were in love with the blonde boy. It made him more hostile and condescending towards JJ, for some weird reason.

Rafe clenched his jaw, his irritation flaring further as you stepped in to defend JJ. It was one thing being defied by JJ, but being defied by you… it was infuriating.

"Yeah, we all know you're a bit of a lush, princess." he retorted, his tone dripping with condescension. "But I doubt you and your Pogue friends can handle the quality of alcohol we'll be serving at The Wreck."

JJ's eyes darkened further at Rafe's insult. He was getting more and more angry by the minute, his fists clenching at his sides.

"Watch your mouth, man. You don't get to talk to her like that." he snapped, his voice low and dangerous.

Rafe chuckled, his smirk returning to his face. He was enjoying getting a rise out of JJ. It was entertaining.

"Oh my bad. I forgot I was talking to the local Pogue hero. Gotta defend your little princess, right?" he said, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

"Can you not be a dick?" you snapped, your expression hardening at his subtle jab.

Rafe's smirk faltered for a moment at your sudden snap. He wasn't expecting you to jump in so suddenly.

"What, you're mad at me now too?" he retorted, his voice cocky once again.

You knew what he was trying to do, and it wasn't gonna work. Not when in private he was begging you to get him to finish or come over to fuck. The jab, although directed at JJ was more for you, given he knew how in love with JJ you were and how JJ wasn't reciprocating those feelings. Hence the whole secret hook up buddy thing with him. "You're not entertaining anyone but yourself, Cameron.." you stated coldly, running a hand through your wet hair.

Rafe's expression turned to a scowl as you called him out on his bullshit, his eyes narrowing at your bluntness. He hated how well you knew him, how you saw right through his attempts to get under JJ's skin. It was infuriating, especially because he couldn't let on in front of the Pogues that he had anything going on with you. "Oh yeah? Well I'm entertained, and that's all that matters, princess".

"I'm sure.." you trailed off vaguely, fixing him with an intense look, one that said 'back down, you're just making it worse.'

Rafe grumbled under his breath, his scowl only deepening as he got the message behind your intense look. He knew he was pushing his luck, and he didn't want to risk revealing anything in front of the Pogues.

He let out a frustrated huff, his gaze flickering to the Pogues behind you for a moment before returning to you.

"Fine. But you're seriously missing out."

"More booze for you right?" you smiled sardonically, shrugging while trying to keep yourself afloat at the same time.

Rafe chuckled slightly at your comment, his temper cooling a little.

"Yeah, I guess. More high-quality booze for me and the kooks. We'll be drinking till dawn."

"Mhm.. holding my breath by the phone.." you muttered. To others it may have seemed weird and cryptic but Rafe knew what it meant. You were both aware he was gonna drunk text you later tonight and you loved poking at the fact subtly without anyone noticing.

Rafe's expression softened faintly as you muttered your subtle tease. He knew no one else would understand the hidden message, and he found it almost endearing.

He shot you a small, secret smirk, silently acknowledging your play. He couldn't wait to text you later, when he was a bit more inebriated and less in control of his thoughts.

JJ observed the entire interaction between you and Rafe with a mix of irritation and discomfort. He watched the way you both spoke to each other, the subtle hints and glances that only the two of you seemed to understand.

He couldn't figure out why he was so bothered by it. Maybe it was the fact that Rafe was being a total dick, or maybe it was the fact that you were responding.

He tried to push down the unease growing in his chest, telling himself that it was just Rafe being a jerk as usual. But the way you responded so snarkily to him, almost familiarly, was making him feel weird.

He couldn't help but wonder what was going on between you two, what secrets you were keeping from all of the Pogues.

He watched as you and Rafe continued to banter, your words laced with hidden meanings and inside jokes that only the two of you seemed to understand. JJ felt a tightness in his chest as he observed the interaction.

He could feel the unease growing within him, a mixture of irritation and confusion. He couldn't understand why Rafe was being such a dick to you, or why you were responding in such a familiar and snarky way, especially since he didn't really see you talk to Rafe before. The whole exchange was making him uncomfortable and suspicious.

"Ok Rafe piss off to your side of the island now.." you spoke after a few more moments of bantering, still floating around in the water around the HMS pogue.

Rafe chuckled at your command, reluctantly amused by your boldness. He had forgotten how feisty you could be, and he secretly loved it.

"Alright, alright." he said, raising his hands in mock surrender. "Jeez, you don't have to be so harsh."

He turned to his friends on the boat behind him, all of whom were watching the interaction with slight amusement. "You heard the lady, boys. Let's go."

The kooks behind him snickered and chuckled, a few of them throwing you sarcastic farewells and salutes. Rafe shot you a wink before turning away, his boat's engine flaring to life as they began to pull away.

JJ watched as Rafe and his friends pulled away, his jaw set tight and his fists clenched at his sides. He knew something weird was going on between you and Rafe, he just wasn't sure what.

After the kooks' boat flared away you turned to glance up at the pogues on the boat, narrowing your eyes and letting a small giggle, "i think i just peed myself a little.." you snorted in amusement, still obviously high.

The Pogues on board the HMS Pogue looked down at you with a mixture of relief and amusement.

JJ's expression softened slightly as he saw your amused giggle, the tension in his body lessening a bit.

Pope and John B chuckled at your confession, while Sarah and Kiara shared amused looks.

Kiara leaned down to peer over the edge of the boat, a small smirk on her face.

"Did you really pee yourself, or are you just high as hell?" she teased, her tone lighthearted.

"Dunno... but i was scared the whole kook situation with Rafe will escalate.." you continued to giggle, shielding your eyes with your hand from the sun.

Pope chuckled and leaned down next to Kiara, a sly smirk on his face. "Yeah, we could see that. Didn't think you had it in you to stand up to Rafe like that."

John B chuckled as he too leaned down, a look of amusement on his face."You had him backing down real quick. We were impressed."

Sarah, who had been silently watching the interaction, spoke up with a small, somewhat knowing smirk on her face.

"You handled him pretty well, I have to say. Even JJ was surprised, aren't you, JJ?" she teased, glancing over at JJ.

JJ's attention was immediately drawn to Sarah's comment. He had been partially lost in thought, still feeling uneasy and suspicious about what he had just witnessed between you and Rafe.

He quickly composed himself, plastering on a light smirk and trying to play it cool.

"Yeah, sure. She handled him well enough." he responded with a shrug, his voice casual but not entirely convincing.

"Rafe can't handle me.. he had to back down.. Didn't know your brother was such a wimp Sarah.." you teased Sarah, smirking up at her.

Sarah chuckled at your playful jab, her smirk widening. "Trust me, I know my brother better than anyone. He's a dick." Kiara let out a snort of laughter, clearly enjoying the banter.

Pope and John B both chuckled, while JJ simply nodded in agreement. They all knew firsthand what a dick Rafe Cameron was.

The banter continued, the Pogues sharing inside jokes and jabs, the mood on the boat light and easy. JJ, however, remained slightly distant. His thoughts still preoccupied by the strange interaction he had witnessed between you and Rafe.

He continued to listen to the banter, his body relaxed but his mind still racing with curiosity and unease. He kept sneaking glances at you, watching your laughing face and the way you continued to float in the water.

He couldn't shake the feeling that there was something going on between you and Rafe, something that you were keeping secret from the rest of the Pogues. He was tempted to ask you about it, to confront you and demand an explanation. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. Not here, not in front of the others.

Soon enough the hangout moved back to the chateau, the pogues scattered in the backyard of John B's house. As the afternoon faded into an early evening, JJ with Pope and JB were lighting a small bonfire, while you, Kie and Sarah sat sprawled in lawn chairs around the small fire, giggling and chatting away.

JJ lit the bonfire with a flick of his lighter, the flames slowly growing larger and illuminating the small gathering of Pogues around the fire.

Pope and John B gathered sticks and firewood, tossing them into the fire to keep it going. The three of them chatted idly as they worked, their voices blending in with the crackling of the fire.

Every now and then, JJ would glance over at you and the girls, your laughter piercing through the night air.

He tried to focus on the fire, on the conversation with Pope and John B, but he couldn't help but be drawn to you. He wondered what you were talking about with Kiara and Sarah, and why he couldn't seem to get the image of you and Rafe out of his head.

You were still feeling the high, your hand raking through your now dry hair casually while you laughed with Sarah and Kie about something. Your hair was more curlier from the salt water, your t-shirt and shorts still slightly damp from your bathing suit underneath. You adjusted your glasses, throwing your head back a little as you giggled at Sarah's joke, nodding in agreement after.

Kiara and Sarah both chuckled at your reaction to the joke, their eyes sparkling with amusement. They continued to chat and giggle, their conversation bouncing from one topic to another. Sarah, with a mischievous glint in her eye, started to make a comment. "You know, Y/n, there's something I've been meaning to ask-"

As Sarah started to speak, JJ’s ear perked up, his attention immediately drawn to the girls’ conversation. He tried to hide his interest, continuing to stack wood on the bonfire as if he weren’t listening in.

"What?" you drawled, your eyes now fixed on Sarah, completely focused on her incoming question.

Sarah smirked, her tone slightly suggestive as she spoke. "Well, I've been meaning to ask... Is there something going on between you and Rafe?" She glanced pointedly at you, her gaze flickering towards where JJ and the other boys were messing with the bonfire.

"What makes you ask that?" you straightened in your chair slightly. You were taken aback by her question, especially since you told the pogues you were hooking up with someone right before Rafe disrupted the peace earlier that day on the water.

Kiara, who was sitting next to you, leaned forward, her expression a mix of curiosity and mild amusement. "Yeah, we were all kind of wondering that too. I mean, you said you were hooking up with someone before Rafe showed up, then there was the whole thing with you guys on the water..." Sarah nodded in agreement, still watching you intently.

"What thing..? we were just talking y'know? Rafe was just being a dick as per usual." you shrugged, letting out a small nervous chuckle, glancing between Kiara and Sarah.

Sarah raised a skeptical eyebrow, not entirely convinced. "Just talking? Really? It looked like a bit more than just talking to me..."

Kiara nodded in agreement, a small frown on her face. "Yeah, it seemed like there was a little bit more going on. You two just had this weird vibe..."

They both continued to stare at you, waiting for a response. You could feel their gazes on you, scrutinizing and prying. JJ, who was silently listening to the conversation by the bonfire, also waited for your response, his hands frozen on the firewood he was stacking.

"Pfft.. you're funny.. why would there be something going on between me and Rafe?" you waved your hand dismissively, scoffing and chuckling in mock disbelief.

Sarah raised her eyebrows, her skepticism growing slightly. "Oh come on, Y/n. We saw the way you two were interacting out there. And you’ve been quiet about who this mystery guy you’re hooking up with is. What are we supposed to think?"

"So you guys think it's him?" 'well you would be spot on' you thought, your mind clouding with anxiety. You widened your eyes slightly, adjusting your glasses, "no way in hell.."

Both Sarah and Kiara seemed unconvinced, their eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Come on, you can't blame us for thinking it's him. You're being really secretive about who this mystery man is, and now y'all are acting weird after that whole thing on the water."

"Yeah, it's pretty suspicious. And Rafe has a thing for you, he's always ogling at you." added Sarah to Kie's comment.

"Rafe has a thing for me? when did you come to that conclusion?" you raised your brows, peering at Sarah.

Sarah chuckled, as if your reaction confirmed something. "Are you kidding me? It's obvious. The way he oggles you every time you walk by, or how he always tries to be near you at parties. He's totally into you."

"That's your older, asshole of a brother we're talking about here Sarah.. that would be.. illegal." you deadpanned, shaking your head although what she was saying was true. And you hoped the pogues didn't notice,

Sarah rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "Illegal? That hasn't stopped him before. I know my brother, and he doesn't give a damn about age. Especially if he really wants something or someone."

Kiara nodded in agreement, her arms crossed over her chest. "You gotta admit dude, it's a little sus."

"I dunno.. maybe it's cause i bought weed from him a couple of times in the past. But it's just that. He used to be my plug, nothing more.." you shrugged, adjusting your glasses once again.

Sarah and Kiara exchanged skeptical glances. "Maybe you’re right about the weed thing, but it still doesn't explain the way you were acting with him on the water. And now you won’t tell us who this mystery guy is. Feels like there's something more going on." hummed Sarah as she regarded you with a crtical eye.

"The dude I'm hookin' up with goes to college in Charleston... His name is Riley.. you guys wouldn't know him.." you shrugged once again. You were feeling proud for cooking up such a smooth lie on the spot, especially since you were still a little out of it from the weed.

Sarah and Kiara seemed a little taken aback, their eyes widening slightly at your unexpected revelation. "Huh. College student in Charleston, huh? That's unexpected. Why didn't you tell us about him before?"

Kiara chimed in, her expression somewhat surprised. "Yeah, and why keep him a secret? If he's just some random college boy, what's the big deal?"

"I told you.. he's like 20. He doesn't want people to know he's hooking up with a 17 year old.." you rolled your eyes. You were relieved that the conversation switched from Rafe and you to this made-up guy in college in Charleston. You were so close to just admitting that you were boning Sarah's older brother.

Sarah and Kiara exchanged looks of surprise and slight amusement. "20, huh? And he doesn't want people to know about you? That's kind of sketchy, don't you think?"

Kiara added, a note of skepticism in her voice. "Why would he keep you a secret? Sounds like he's not serious about you."

"Cause he's not." you stated simply, chuckling in disbelief, leaning back in your chair, "It's just casual sex, we're not a couple by any means..." you waved your hand again, shaking your head.

Sarah and Kiara's mouths dropped open slightly, their eyes widened further in shock at your blunt admission. They hadn't expected you to be so straightforward and nonchalant about the nature of your relationship with this mystery college boy.

Sarah's eyes flickered over to JJ, who was still near the bonfire but was unmistakably listening in on the conversation. He tried but failed to feign nonchalance, pretending to be engrossed in stacking the firewood.

Kiara shifted in her chair, a mix of surprise and concern on her face. She glanced at JJ and then back to you, her eyes narrowing. "Just casual... doesn't that make you feel used or something? What if he's messing around with other girls too?"

"I hope he is. If his only option is a 17 year old then he's a major loser. And no it doesn't make me feel used.." you trailed off, you were the one using Rafe in this scenario. But it probably would've been a different round of reactions if they actually knew that Riley the Charleston college guy was Sarah's older brother. And that you were sleeping with him to get over JJ who was dating Kiara. Thinking about it, it sounded complicated and messy, given JJ hated Rafe, and so did your other best friends.

Sarah and Kiara glanced at each other once again, trying to process your cavalier attitude about the whole situation. They were both concerned for you, but the fact that you seemed so nonchalant about being a secret, casual fling for some college guy didn't sit right with them. It was almost like you had some sort of self-respect issues.

Which you did. Any hint of self respect was thrown out the window once the guy you were in love with got with one of your of your best friends. The first few weeks of JJ's and Kie's relationship was a total hell for you. With time it got a little bit better, but you still felt sick to your stomach whenever they kissed or mentioned teasingly to the group about sleeping together. It was even worse when you were all at the Chateau and you could hear them. At times, you felt entitled to the tens of minutes of feeling wanted when you were sleeping with Rafe. Till you were overcame by self hatred and disgust after you came. And you were back in square 1. Still madly in love with JJ, the one person in this life who couldn't reciprocate your feelings.

Your gaze flicked between Kie and Sarah, your expression melting into one of uncomfortableness, the laid back attitude slipping away once you could feel their gazes bore into you, including JJ's from where he was standing by the fire. It left you wondering how would you feel when they found out you were sleeping with Rafe behind their backs. What would happen if you just had gotten it over with and told them..

Sarah leaned forward slightly, her tone growing more concerned. There was a hint of sisterly protectiveness in her voice. "Are you sure you're okay with this, Y/n? It sounds like you're downplaying how much this casual thing is affecting you. This mystery guy, Riley, doesn't really care about you, does he?"

Kiara chimed in, her expression worried as well. "Yeah...it's not healthy to settle for a guy who doesn't treat you like a priority."

You suddenly felt like a black sheep next to them. Sarah was in a happy relationship with John B and so was Kie with JJ. Your JJ. And here you were, hooking up with the town's local asshole and drug dealer as a way to squish down your feelings as much as you could when you weren't getting black out drunk. But to them it seemed like you wanted to have an exclusive relationship with the guy you were hooking up on the low. It didn't help that you were lying about his identity and just lying in general. You suddenly felt lost, the carefree and fun atmosphere seeming to shift around you as you felt your best friends' eyes on you. The fact that you were still half high didn't help either.

You grimaced slightly without realizing, digging your beat up vans into the dirt underneath them mindlessly, "I don't treat him like a priority either.. i don't care about the guy.." you chuckled dryly, swallowing a small lump forming in your throat.

Sarah and Kiara exchanged worried glances once again. "Even so, it doesn't change the fact that he's messing with your feelings, whether you like it or not. You deserve better than that. Not some random college dude only using you."

Kiara sighed softly, her expression softening further. "We just don't want to see you get hurt, especially over some guy who's probably playing you."

You knew what you deserved. What you deserved stood a few feet in front of you messing with the bonfire and listening in to the conversation fixing you with his blue eyes. But the universe was an asshole and he was dating someone else, so you were stuck in a muddy situation. "You guys don't get it.. if anything, I'm playing him. And he knows it. We're both okay with the idea of using each other.." you trailed off, your gaze still fixed on your beat up and worn down sneakers, your fingers reaching up to adjust your glasses.

Sarah exchanged a look with Kiara, her eyebrows raised slightly at your words. But before either of them could respond, a low, rough scoff cut through the air.

"You're playin' him? Bullshit." JJ's voice cut through the air from where he was standing. He'd been listening in on the whole conversation, unable to keep his mouth shut any longer.

When JJ spoke up your head snapped up, your eyes locking as your brows raised in something that looked like surprise and discomfort, The main reason of your turmoil and messy relationship was now speaking up and scoffing at your choices like he had any right. "Yeah.. something like that" you stated, your brows furrowing ever so slightly. Your tone was a little bitter but you tried to keep it casual mostly.

JJ's expression was one of disbelief, skepticism practically radiating off him. He stepped closer to the group, his gaze still fixed on you. "Seriously, you really expect us to believe that crap?" He crossed his arms, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "You, of all people, playin' someone? That's rich."

"That's just how the situation is... i wouldn't call it 'playing him'. But we're both being casual about the whole thing.." you shrugged, adjusting your glasses as you looked up at him, still sat in your lawn chair.

"Casual. That's bullshit and you know it. It's not casual when your little secret relationship is affecting you this much." JJ's expression was stoney and stern, not believing you for a second. He leaned back against the tree beside him, his arms still crossed.

"Do you seriously think we can't tell something's up?" Sarah murmured, watching the interaction with concern. Kie nodded softly in agreement.

You suddenly felt put on the spot again. Your gaze flitted between Sarah, JJ and Kie. They were thinking you were catching feelings for the person you were casually hooking up. What a joke. It wasn't an outstretched idea, it made sense. But what they didn't know was that you were doing the whole thing to push down your feelings for JJ.

You let out a small amused giggle, covering your mouth with your hand "Guys... no. I'm not catching feelings for this guy.." you grimaced slightly at the thought of catching feelings for Rafe. "He's the last person I'd wanna fall in love with."

Sarah and Kiara seemed to relax slightly at your assurances that you weren't developing feelings, their faces a little more placated.

JJ, however, seemed unconvinced. He raised a skeptical eyebrow, eyeing you up and down as if he could see right through your words. He had an intuitive knack for sensing when you were bullshitting, and the way you were giggling softly like you were hiding something made his suspicions go up even more.

The fire continued to crackle in the background as JJ kept his eyes fixed on you, his expression turning into a frown once again as he crossed his arms once more. "So if you're not into him, then why are you seeing him? What's the point of even being with the guy?" He looked genuinely bewildered.

"Fun.." you shrugged, stretching out your legs in front of you, your fingers reaching to adjust your glasses again.

JJ shook his head slightly, looking incredulous. "Seriously? Fun, that's your reason?" He chuckled, a sardonic edge to his voice. "There are tons of other ways to have fun that don't involve casual hook-upin' with a college dude."

You looked between your best friends, even Pope and John B who were standing by the fire looking interested in the conversation. You still felt put on the spot. You knew you sounded dumb, your reasoning sounding shallow and hollow inside. But you couldn't tell them that the main reason of this casual fun were your feelings for JJ. "Why is everyone looking so concerned.. i told y'all about this cause i thought It'd be... i dunno, fun? It's not that deep.."

The others all exchanged glances, and you could tell there was a hint of concern on their faces. John B piped up from where he was standing, his voice softer than JJ's. "We're just worried because casual hookups often end up messy, especially when feelings get mixed up."

"That's the thing. You guys don't understand that no feelings can get mixed up." you tried to explain, sitting up straight in your chair. You wanted to let them know you weren't gonna catch feelings and that your focus wasn't on the casual hookup and rather the reasoning behind it. Of course without revealing it out right.

JJ's expression was still skeptical, his arms still crossed as he listened to you speak. His gaze never wavered. "How do you know for sure that your feelings won't get mixed up? People can't help their feelings, and this college dude could end up having feelings for you. Or you could have feelings for him and not even realize it."

"That's his problem. If he ended up falling in love- which would be absolutely bonkers, -I'm not responsible for it." you spoke, an edge of desperation in your voice. You wanted the topic to be dismissed. Especially when Kie and JJ were staring at you so intently. It was like a sucker punch. The main reason asking you for the reason of your bad decisions. It felt like an unfunny comedy stunt.

"Not responsible? You're the one hooking up and spending time with the guy. How is it his problem? It's your action that's making it happen, not his." grimaced JJ.

Kiara spoke up now, her voice gentle yet slightly concerned, her gaze fixed on you, studying your expression. "And what happens if you end up catching feelings for him too?”

"God! I'm in love with someone else!" you spoke, sighing loudly. "He knows that. He's okay with being the rebound. That's why it's casual and i'm sure it won't end up in flames. He's getting sex and i'm getting a distraction.." You spoke, rubbing your face after perching your glasses atop of your head.

There was a collective silence that settled over the group at your outburst, the fire crackled faintly in the background. The others exchange glances as they register your words, while JJ's jaw went slack at your confession. "You're... in love with someone?" Sarah murmured, raising an eyebrow.

"And you're using this college dude as a distraction? Why not just focus on the guy you love?" asked Kiara, which you found ironic, if not funny.

"Cause Kie.. not everything is sunshine and rainbows, okay?" you turned to her, grimacing in discomfort, "Not everyone is as lucky as you and Sarah." you raised your brows as you spoke, adjusting your glasses back on your face. This was getting too suffocating. And you could feel the bitterness swirl up in your stomach again. Sarah had John B and Kie had JJ. But that wasn't her fault. Not really anyway.

Kie opened her mouth to respond, but you didn't let her speak. You could feel the bitterness rising in your throat, and the words came out in a defensive rush.

“And not everybody has the guy they love fall in love with them, okay?” You glanced down, fidgeting with your fingers and scowling at your lap. “Sometimes, you just don’t get happy endings.”

“Sometimes, you have to look for love and comfort in different places.”

The mood amongst the group soured at your words, and there was an uncomfortable tension in the air. JJ remained uncharacteristically silent, his expression a mixture of confusion and concern. Kie and Sarah exchanged sad glances while John B looked troubled, his brow furrowed in thought. "I..." She started, her voice gentle. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to rub it in your face..."

"No, yeah.. i just don't wanna talk about it." You mumbled shaking your head. "You guys don't need to look at me with pity, okay?" you glanced between your best friends, your hands stuttering to fish a cigarette pack out of the pocket of your shorts. You took out one, placing it between your lips and lighting it, taking a long drag to calm down the feeling of being put in the spot light and the small adrenaline rush from the outburst.

The others remained quiet, watching as you lit a cigarette, the smoke adding a hazy veil in the air. JJ couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt as he watched you, knowing how your feelings had been weighing on you. Silence surrounded the group, the only sound was the occasional crackle of the fire and the sound of you inhaling and exhaling smoke.

The fire crackled softly, the wood burning and releasing a soft, smoky aroma into the air. The sound of the marsh in the background and the distant chirping of crickets was the only thing that broke the silence. Everyone was still, watching as you took another drag from your cigarette, the end of it glowing bright orange. You were contempt with the silence. You hated having to lie to the pogues. Especially about the identity of the person you were hooking up with. You knew they'd despise you if they found out you were sleeping with Rafe Cameron and not some made up dude who was in college in Charleston. And you knew that telling them that the person you were pining for, was JJ would make things awkward, given he was dating Kie. You knew you were getting yourself more and more tangled in your own mess. And sometimes it felt like you were just waiting for everything to just blow up to smithereens.

JJ glanced around at the pogues, his gaze lingering on you for a moment before he let out a sigh, breaking the silence. "I need a drink, man."

With that, he got up and headed towards the case of beer sitting on a nearby table, pulling out a cold one for himself.

He popped the cap off and took a good chug, the cool beer going down his throat. The rest of the pogues followed JJ's lead, grabbing cans of beer for themselves. But you stayed seated, continuing to smoke your cigarette, the bitter taste of the nicotine lingering on your tongue.

As the night progressed and more beers were passed around, the pogues became more and more intoxicated. Laughter echoed around the marsh as they reminisced over old memories and shared funny anecdotes. John B's face went red, a tell-tale sign that he was well and truly tipsy. Kiara and Sarah were giggling and stumbling over themselves, clinging to each other for support. However, JJ was still coherent, drinking moderately to keep his buzz going, his eyes darting towards you every so often.

The conversation turned more lively and lighthearted, the Pogues becoming drunker by the minute. John B began slurring his words as he tried to recount a funny fish story to the group. Kie and Sarah were laughing loudly beside him, their heads close together as they whispered something. JJ continued to glance in your direction, noticing the cigarette packet in your lap and how your expression hadn't changed since your small outburst.

Unable to resist his curiosity, JJ moved away from the group and took a seat on the lawn chair next to you, the fire casting a warm glow on his face. he glanced down at your packet, and then back up at you from the corner of his eye. "You always chain smoke when you're drunk, huh?" He tried for a light tone, a hint of concern hidden behind his words.

" 'M not drunk.." you mumbled, putting out your cigarette in the dirt beneath your shoes, shrugging.

JJ chuckled softly, the sound quiet and not entirely humorous. He looked over at you, his head slightly lolled over to the side as he studied your expression. The fire's light illuminated the sharp edges of your face, the shadows dancing across your features.

"You sure about that, darlin'?" He teased softly.

"Yes.. y'know i don't like beers." you raised your brows, your eyes dancing over his features, your fingers reaching up to adjust your glasses.

JJ snickered softly at your words, his gaze following the movement of your hand as you adjusted your glasses.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot that you're more of a hard alcohol kinda girl. Whiskey, was it?" He smirked, recalling a memory from some party, where you drank straight from a whiskey bottle without flinching.

"Vodka, tequila.. anything hard." you nodded, leaning back in your chair, your gaze fixed on the small fire in front of you.

JJ chuckled, a small, knowing smile playing on his lips. He remembered the nights he'd seen you, downing shots of vodka and tequila like it was water, your face barely even betraying a slight flush under the influence.

"You're just using it to distract yourself," He teased, his tone laced with affection.

His words caught you off guard but you didn't let it show, your eyes flickering over the fire mindlessly. It was true, especially since he started dating Kie, alcohol had helped you with numbing how you felt, aside from sleeping with Rafe. "Don't get emotional on me blondie.." you teased although there wasn't any hint of a smile or smirk on your face.

JJ chuckled dryly at your response, a bitter smirk on his face. "Can't blame a guy for noticing, can you?"

He glanced at you from the corner of his eye. The alcohol was starting to settle in, making his movements more relaxed and his words more loose. He bit his bottom lip, contemplating for a moment before he spoke.

"I know you have a thing for numbing yourself. I've known it for a long time, actually..."

Your mind wandered back to your outburst earlier that night, a small shiver of second hand embarrassment rattling you. Your hands were fiddling with the almost empty cigarette pack in your lap. You glanced around at the pogues, your eyes falling onto Kiara for a beat too long before looking back at the fire, "Well.. it's not like my life is perfect by any means.." you mumbled, chuckling bitterly.

JJ noticed the brief flickering of your gaze over to Kiara, and the way you chuckled bitterly, your eyes downcast. He leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he studied your expression, his blue eyes serious and thoughtful.

"That's an understatement, sugar." He mumbled. "Your life has been hell for a long time."

The sound of the others talking amongst each other filled the air – John B and Sarah were singing along to some old country song while Kie and Pope laughed loudly, too drunk to function. But JJ was paying no attention to them, his focus entirely on you, his eyes flicking over the curve of your jawline, the furrow of your brow. He knew that there was something you were bottling up, something you were keeping from everyone, and it gnawed at him that you weren't talking to him about it.

The silence between you two was heavy, the weight of all the unspoken words hanging in the air. JJ couldn't bear it, the way you clammed up on him, the way he could see you shutting him out. Without thinking, he reached out and placed a hand on your knee, his touch gentle but firm. He swallowed thickly, his tone serious. "You can talk to me, you know that right..?"

Your eyes flitted onto his hand that was placed on your knee, and for a second you wanted to place your hand on top of his, before you decided against it. You looked up at him, studying him silently for a few seconds before speaking, "yeah.. i know."

JJ met your gaze, his fingers curling a little tighter on your knee, as if to anchor you and keep you from shutting him out completely. There was something about the way you said those words – 'yeah.. i know.' – that made his stomach clench.

"Then why won't you?" He asked quietly, his blue eyes dark and piercing as he searched your face, desperate to find some hint of what was going on in your head.

"I dunno.. I'm not someone who talks about stuff." you shrugged, your eyes falling back onto his hand resting on your knee, feeling a little awkward from the fact that such a small friendly touch affected you so much.

JJ's fingers gripped your knee tighter instinctively at the casual shrug, like it was his way of making sure you didn't shrink further away from him. He didn't take his eyes off you, his gaze unwavering and serious.

"You used to be my someone who did talk about stuff." He muttered, his voice quiet and laced with accusation. "You used to talk to me."

The quiet accusation in his voice made your heart sink. He was right. You had always felt comfortable opening up to JJ about everything. From your father’s alcohol problems, to your dreams and hopes for the future. But ever since he fell in love with Kie and you started sleeping with Rafe, you had slowly become more secretive, building up a wall between you and your best friend. And JJ had noticed. Albeit he didn't know about the Rafe thing or that you were in love with him, he still knew something was up. Because he was your JJ and he always knew.

You prodded the back of his hand with your nail gently, not to signal him to take it off but just to calm down the urge to touch him back in a way, "Well yeah.. but i can't burden you with my problems now that we're older.." you wanted to tell him that the reason you weren't talking was because he was in a relationship, but you knew better than to say something so bitter sounding.

JJ's brows furrowed at your words, his heart clenching at the thought that you felt you couldn't confide in him anymore.

"You wouldn't be burdening me, darlin'." he said, his voice soft, a hint of pleading and urgency in his tone. He knew you better than anyone, and he saw right through the casual words. He knew there was something more to it, something that you weren't saying.

"I'm still your best friend, aren't I?"

In a way he wasn't anymore. And you regretted having fell in love with him and ruining that for yourself. Because if JJ was anything, he was a good friend and an even better best friend. Maybe that was the main reason you fell in love with him in the first place. You looked up at him, your eyes boring into his intensely as you nodded vaguely, "of course you're still my best friend.." you chuckled, although there was no hint of humor behind it, your brain still focused on the feeling of his hand on your knee.

JJ's heart felt heavy in his chest. The way you said 'of course you're still my best friend' felt like a thinly veiled lie. He could practically hear the 'but' at the end of that sentence, and it stung. He wanted to press, to pry and prod until you told him the truth, the real reason why you've become so closed off.. but he didn't have the right to ask about those kinds of details anymore.

He swallowed thickly, his expression tight. His grip on your knee loosened, although he didn't pull his hand back.

He glanced down at the fire, but his mind was spinning. The silence between them was thick and uncomfortable. The others were too wrapped up in their own conversations to notice the tension, but JJ was hyper aware of your every move and reaction.

”Come on.. say something,” he silently pleaded, his gaze flicking back up to your face, trying to figure out what was going on in your mind like he usually did.

"You are still my best friend." you stated, finally placing your hand on top of his. You thought it wouldn't be weird now that you called him your best friend. You knew he didn't believe you when you said it the first time.

JJ's heart fluttered at the feeling of your hand on top of his, a wave of comfort washing over him. It was such a small, casual gesture.. but the significance of finally touching each other made butterflies erupt in his stomach once more. He swallowed hard, his fingers twitching against your knee instinctively.

"Yeah.. I am..." he mumbled, his eyes fixed on where your hand touched his, a mixture of relief and uncertainty in his voice.

A small silence fell over you both, save from the sounds from the fire or the pogues having fun on the porch of the house a few good feet away. You were counting the seconds in your mind of how long you should keep your hand on top of his, studying his face like a creep while he looked away. You were a lost case truly.

JJ could feel your gaze on him even though he was looking away. He tried very hard not to look back at you and meet your eyes. He didn't know if he could handle it right now. He felt strangely vulnerable, but also safe in a way. Like he was a teenage boy with a crush all over again, sitting there with their knees touching.

After several moments, he swallowed hard and finally looked back at you, his heart doing a weird flip when his eyes landed on you. His cheeks flushed a little, betraying his attempt to remain indifferent

He took a deep breath and spoke without thinking, his voice low and slightly hoarse, "You.. you know you can talk to me, right? I'm still the same person, y'know."

He knew he was probably overstepping a boundary. JJ was rarely ever gentle or soft, at least not out loud. But he was trying... he was so damn tired of this distance between the two of you. He missed being your friend, being someone you could talk to. Especially with you sitting here, your hand over his..

"Yeah.. but i think i revealed about everything earlier with that outburst.." you chuckled, squeezing his hand mindlessly, your other hand reaching up to adjust your glasses.

JJ's heart skipped a beat when you squeezed his hand. You're killing me, he thought. Every time your skin touched his, he felt this weird electricity running throughout his body. It was familiar, and it hurt.

"Yeah, but... I meant in general, too." he said, his voice coming out a little hoarse and breathless as he spoke. "You used to talk to me about everything, about your fears, about the future, all of that stuff... we used to share everything with each other..."

"I dunno.. my step-dad's still an asshole.." you mumbled, trying to divert the conversation into another direction. Although talking about your mom's boyfriend Allan wasn't a better upgrade.

JJ's expression darkened at the mention of Allan, his jaw clenching automatically. He knew Allan was one of the main reasons why you hated going home, and why you always sought refuge in the Chateau whenever things got really bad. Just like him.

"Is he still being... y'know. Physical..?" he asked, his tone dropping, the look in his eyes hardening.

"Well.. no. I'm mostly not home. Even so, i try to just-.. not be a smartass." you chuckled dryly, squeezing his hand again as you kept your gaze on him.

The mention of him being physical made JJ's blood boil, but it was a little reassuring that it wasn't as often as it used to be. He felt relieved, but the tension in his chest still didn't ease up.

The fact that you were avoiding going home a lot and staying with the pogues, especially at the Chateau, and the way you just bluntly admitted that you weren't home much to avoid the risk of him being violent... it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

He swallowed thickly, his grip on your knee tightening in response to your hand on his, as if to keep you close. To keep you safe. His expression softened as he looked at you, a look of concern and sadness in his eyes.

"Why do you even stay at home, darlin'? You can crash at the Chateau all the time if you want.. hell, i'll even crash on the floor so you can have my room if you want."

"You mean the sofa in the living room?" you spoke, a hint of amusement in your gaze, a small smile tugging at your lips.

JJ rolled his eyes playfully, scoffing at your small smirk, a hint of a grin on his own lips. He knew you were deflecting, but it was a little endearing, especially when you smiled at him.

"Yeah, well, the sofa in the living room would be a hell of a lot more comfortable than staying at home with your old man. And the company would be a lot better, too."

"Dunno if i wanna hear you and Kie going at it all night.." you grinned, although you didn't like the sentence in the slightest. It made you kinda sick to your stomach to think about him and Kie like that.

JJ chuckled and playfully smacked your shoulder, grinning back at your cheeky grin, his expression lighting up for a moment. The casual banter came so naturally to the two of you, and for a moment, it almost felt like old times. Almost.

"You wouldn't have to hear anything, I'd be too damn much of a gentleman to make noise in front of you."

His voice took on a teasing, almost mocking tone, as if he was making fun of himself. But there was a hint of seriousness behind his words. He didn't like the idea of you hearing him being intimate with Kiara. It felt wrong, almost disrespectful to you. Even though you had no idea about his feelings for you.

He didn't know exactly why he felt that way. But he did. Maybe it was because he didn't want you to think any less of him

For some reason, the idea of you hearing him and Kie together was deeply uncomfortable for JJ. He didn't understand quite why. Maybe it was because he didn't want you to think less of him, to hear him in such an intimate state. Or maybe it was because he didn't want you to think he was unfaithful to your friendship. It was confusing and irritating, and he didn't know what to think about it himself.

He shook his head, pushing those thoughts aside. Focusing back on you. God, he had missed talking to you like this.

"You'd have to put up with my snoring, though."

"Yeah, then I'm sticking to being homeless for the time being.." you teased. Your mind wandered to the nights you spent with Rafe after hooking up with him when things were worse than usual, another wave of guilt hitting but you masked it with a grin.

As you joked about being homeless, JJ rolled his eyes and chuckled again, his smile softening. Then suddenly, he noticed a flicker of hesitation on your faces before you masked it with a grin. His expression sobered.

He couldn't quite explain what it was, but something was off about the way you said that, almost as if you were masking something beneath the joke. A nagging feeling tugged at the back of his mind, but he couldn't quite place it.

He studied your face intently for a moment, taking in every small detail, trying to read the emotions hiding behind your smile. Was it guilt? sadness? loneliness?

Then, all of a sudden, an unwelcome thought crossed his mind, like a dark cloud overshadowing the easy banter between the two of you. Was there someone else? Someone that you were crashing with at night when you stayed away from home? Maybe the college guy?

The thought made him feel sick to his stomach, for some reason, but he quickly pushed it away, not wanting to even consider it. It was none of his business, after all. He was your friend — your best friend. That was all.

"Oh come on, it can't be that bad. You'll have the pleasure of waking up to the sight of my gorgeous face every morning. That's got to count for something, right?"

A weird feeling passed through you at his words. The thought of waking up to JJ's face every morning sounded like a dream, and even thinking about something so intimate made your entire being flutter. But it wasn't like that was your place. "Yeah.." you chuckled, glancing back down at his hand still resting on your knee and squeezing it before lifting your own hand from atop of his to adjust your glasses.

JJ didn't miss the flicker of emotion that passed over your face as he spoke, the way your eyes flickered down to the hand that was resting on your knee. He couldn't quite interpret what that look meant.

As you squeezed his hand and then adjusted your glasses, he couldn't help but feel a pang of longing. He wished he could know what was going on inside your mind, what you were really thinking and feeling. He knew you better than anyone, but there were moments when he wondered if he really knew you at all.

He opened his mouth to speak, planning to say something lighthearted and teasing to break the strange tension that had fallen between the two of you. But then he looked into your eyes, his gaze locking with yours, and his words died on his lips. He just stared at you for a moment, studying your expression.

You held his gaze, a small smile on your face as you stared at each other silently, save from the other pogues still having fun nearby. Your hands were now folded in your lap, fidgeting with the cigarette pack there mindlessly, trying to think of something to say.

For a moment, the world seemed to disappear, it was just the two of you, in your own little bubble. His gaze flickered over your face, taking in every detail. Your pretty eyes, the small dimple on the side of your lips that appeared when you smiled, the way your hair framed your face. You were so beautiful, and he could feel his heart thudding in his chest.

He swallowed, his throat suddenly feeling dry. He wanted to say something, anything to break the silence between you, but he was at a loss for words. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. He was in love with you. Completely, deeply, madly in love with you. And it scared him shitless.

He had never felt this way before. Not with Kie or any other girl he had ever met. It was different with you. You were his best friend, his partner in crime, the person who knew him better than anyone. The person he could rely on no matter what. And now he had gone and fallen in love with you?

He shook his head, trying to push away the thought. It was impossible. You would never feel the same way about him, and even if you did, you were both too messed up to be anything resembling a functional couple. Besides, he was still with Kiara.

He needed to get out of here, needed to clear his head and figure out what he was gonna do about the mess he'd gotten himself into.

He pulled his hand from your knee, scratching the back of his neck and looking away.

"I, uh, gotta take a leak. Be right back."

He got up hastily, shoving his hands in the pockets of his shorts and walking away without looking back, hoping you didn't notice the turmoil of emotions he was going through.

You hummed in response, watching him walk away hastily and feeling awkward all of a sudden. You pulled out another cigarette, lighting it and glancing at the 4 pogues on the porch, still singing along to some song and laughing. Sarah was slow dancing with John B, albeit in a clumsy way due to the alcohol, Pope and Kie watching and making drunk comments. Which caused you to smile to yourself, exhaling the smoke from your cigarette gently.

JJ walked a little farther away from the house, trying to put as much distance between himself and the other pogues as possible. His hands were shaking slightly as he leaned against a tree, running a hand through his hair in frustration. Why did he have to fall in love with you now, of all times?

He let out a sigh, closing his eyes and trying to steady his breaths. He couldn't let you see through him, couldn't let you know how he felt. It would ruin everything.

He let out a frustrated sigh, scrubbing his face with his hand. He knew he should end things with Kiara, knew it wasn’t fair to her. But the thought of losing her made his stomach plummet.

And what about you? Did you feel the same way about him? Or was he just making a fool of himself, getting all hung up on his best friend without any chance of reciprocation. It was all so damn confusing.

He took another drag from his cigarette, trying to calm his racing thoughts. He needed to talk to someone, but who? John B? Pope? No way. They'd never let him hear the end of it. Besides, he was supposed to have his emotions under control. He was the strong one, the fearless one in the group. The one who never let his feelings get the better of him.

He glanced back towards the porch, his gaze settling on you once more. You were now talking to Pope and Kie, but you were far enough that he couldn't hear what you were saying. You were smoking and laughing, and you looked so damn beautiful. A part of him wanted to go back and join the conversation, but the other part wanted to keep avoiding you, to try to get his emotions under control before he ruined everything.

He exhaled a cloud of smoke, feeling more conflicted than ever. He was in love with you, and he didn’t know what to do about it. He was loyal to Kie, and he didn’t want to break her heart. And he had no idea if you even reciprocated his feelings. He was stuck in a mess of his own making, and he had no idea how to get out.

He pushed himself off the wall, stomping his cigarette under his shoe with a heavy sigh. He couldn’t hide out here forever, eventually he would have to go back and face the music. He steeled himself and started to make his way back to the group, his expression neutral and his thoughts still racing a million miles a minute.

He reached the porch, joining the others with what he hoped looked like an easy-going smile on his face.

"What’d I miss?"

He leaned against the railing, looking around at his friends. They were all blissfully unaware of the tornado of emotions going on inside his head, blissfully unaware of the fact that everything in his life was currently falling apart thanks to you, the girl he was hopelessly in love with, sitting across from him.

Kie walked over to JJ a bright, drunk smile plastered on her lips as she swung her arms around his neck lazily, "me hopefully.." she chuckled.

He chuckled, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her against his chest.

"You know I could never ditch you." He gave her a reassuring smile, though he was inwardly cringing at his own words. He didn't like lying to Kie, but he didn't know how else to act.

You tried your best to spare a casual glance towards the interaction before going back to teasing Pope about something. Although the talk with JJ before he went to pee helped the feeling of longing and sadness was back, even as you laughed with John B and Sarah at the drunken antics of Pope.

JJ glanced back at you as he laughed with the others, his eyes lingering on your face for a moment longer than necessary. He couldn’t help it. You were right there, sitting across from him, looking so damn beautiful and so frustratingly unattainable.

He felt a pang of guilt in his chest, knowing he was supposed to be focused on Kie right now. But he couldn’t take his eyes off you, no matter how hard he tried.

He tried to focus on Kie, on the sound of her laughing and the light feel of her body pressed against his. But his mind kept drifting back to you, and he couldn’t help himself from stealing glances at you throughout the conversation. He tried to join in on the jokes, to act like he was having a good time, but it felt like he was stuck in some sort of painful limbo, torn between the girl he was supposed to be with and the girl he was secretly in love with.

As the night wore on, he found himself getting more and more frustrated with himself. He was supposed to be committed to Kie, dedicated to this relationship they had. But here he was, pining after you like some sort of love-sick idiot, wishing things were different. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to end things with Kie. Not yet, anyway.

As the conversation lulled for a moment, he found himself staring at you again. You were laughing at something Sarah said, your head thrown back in a carefree, unrestrained way, and he felt his heart skip a beat. He wanted nothing more than to cross the small distance between you and kiss you senseless.

"Yeah you used to be a bitch... If it wasn't for John B you probably wouldn't even be right here.." you teased Sarah, who was snuggled into John B's side. You tried to hold in another giggle, adjusting your glasses.

Sarah mock-gasped and clutched at her chest."I beg your pardon!" She laughed, giving you a pretend-offended look.

JJ chuckled at the exchange, stealing another glance at you. Your carefree demeanor and easy banter with the others only made his feelings for you more intense. He found himself envying how easily you could laugh and chat while he was struggling internally.

"And now here she is.. our own personal kook princess.." you snorted, gesturing to her in a mock way of people announcing royalty, shaking your head.

Sarah rolled her eyes, but a laugh escaped her lips. She gave you a playful shove. "Hey, I'm no one's princess."

John B snickered, wrapping his arm around Sarah's waist. "You're my princess."

You made fake gagging noises, Pope following along as you both pretended to be sick about the display in a very dramatic manner.

Sarah scowled at the two of you, her feigned offense turning into mock anger. "Oh go to hell, both of you." She flipped you off, sticking her tongue out childishly.

JJ chuckled, thoroughly entertained by the exchange. He looked from you to Sarah and back again, his thoughts swirling. Despite the amused look on his face, his heart was aching. It was like some cruel twist of fate, having you so close yet hopelessly out of reach. He couldn’t help but think about how he’d much rather be sitting next to you, teasing and bantering with you, holding you in his arms.

But as he watched you joke and laugh with the others, he reminded himself that he was taken. He was with Kie, and that’s where he was supposed to be. He couldn’t act on his feelings for you. Not now, at least. So he forced himself to look away from you, forcing himself to focus on Kie and the conversation at hand. But his eyes kept drifting back to you, drawn to your presence like a magnet.

As the night progressed and the alcohol flowed, JJ found himself growing more and more restless. His eyes kept drifting back to you, and he had to fight the urge to go over and talk to you. He tried to engage Kie in conversation, to focus on his relationship, but everything just felt so damn strained and forced.

He felt like he was drowning, caught between his feelings for you and his loyalty to Kie. He just wanted to be with you, but he didn’t want to hurt Kie. It was a catch-22 that was driving him insane, and he didn’t know how much longer he could keep up the act.

The bass thumped through the beach house, vibrating beneath your feet. Laughter, shouting, and music blurred together as bodies pressed close, drinks spilled, and the air grew thick with salt and smoke. Another party, another night. Ditching the pogues didn't seem like such a good idea anymore as you scanned the pulsating crowd inside the massive beach house, no familiar face sticking out. Here these people were, dressed in designer clothes and wearing perfumes that cost more than your shitty trailer, trashing the beautiful beach house for a party. Which in retrospect wasn't your usual field of activity. Your old crop top, cut-out shorts and beat up sneakers probably stood out like a sore thumb against the pastel colors of polo shirts and expensive flowy summer dresses.

But it was a house party. Everyone was allowed to show up, and if you stood out of the Kooks' ways you'd manage to get drunk on good liquor to forget everything. The fights, the slaps, the hurtful words from your mom. The lingering looks of her boyfriend of the week which made your skin crawl and your door to remain locked throughout the night whenever you slept at home. And you had a feeling you'd do it more often.

JJ and Kiara didn't really need to make a show of announcing their relationship officially. Before today they were disappearing during parties together, spent time alone from the group. And your lovesick mind put it past the fact that they were just getting closer. Tried to lie to your self that JJ didn't like Kiara that way, that it was just... a fleeting crush. But it wasn't. Kiara pulled you and Sarah away from the boys in the kitchen of the chateau and whispered excitedly that her and JJ had finally "made it official." Which meant the two had been hooking up from some time casually.

You drowned out the excited squeals from Sarah and looked away when she hugged Kie as if she won some great prize. A prize that should've been yours. Still you patted Kiara's back with as much excitement as you could before excusing your self to the bathroom. The heartbreak and the anxiety which was weighing down on you from the weeks prior caused you to wretch violently into the toilet, puking out the small amount of food you had that day.

Now here you were, your swaying feet carrying you to the makeshift bar, glassy eyes scanning the drink options from behind your glasses. Vodka. You needed more vodka, more weed, more of everything that the kooks had to offer. Maybe even coke if you were lucky.

As you stood by the bar, you felt someone's eyes on you. You turned around to see none other than Rafe Cameron staring at you.

He was leaning against the wall, a smirk playing on his lips as he watched you from across the room. His brown hair was disheveled, and he was holding a beer in one hand.

Rafe Cameron. The older brother of one of your best friends. Handsome in a very manic way and suffering from an acute case of bad attitude and entitlement. Maybe even bipolar disorder if you were to get professional. You caught his blue eyes from across the room and discarded the interaction as soon as it happened, eyes dropping to your red solo cup. You poured too much vodka and too little orange juice, but you were already tipsy so you didn't really feel it.

Rafe came up to you, his lean frame towering over your smaller self. He took a sip of his beer, eyes still fixed on you. "Hey."

He spoke in his raspy, deep voice, a smirk still on his face. You could practically feel the smugness radiate off of him from this close.

His gaze made you feel naked, like an exposed nerve. Or like a girl at a party full of strangers, who's posture and movements screamed 'easy to take advantage of.' Which you were. But you didn't need to feel like it. You didn't need to feel anything, so that's why you brought the cup to your lips taking a big gulp, grimacing only slightly at the burning sensation.

A long pause stretched between you two, in which you assessed the older boy with a critical eye, as critical as you could while you were on your way to get even more tipsy. "Are you talking to me?" you asked, pointing to yourself, pretending to be unaware that he greeted you.

Rafe chuckled in amusement, leaning against the bar. He crossed his arms over his chest, his gaze never leaving yours. "Yeah, I'm talking to you."

He leaned in a little closer, his voice dropping slightly. "You look different tonight." There was curiosity in his eyes, a glint of something darker and more intense.

Your gaze roamed over his features, which inched closer, maybe to hear each other over the music better, or to intimidate you. You weren't sure which. You could never know with the Cameron boy. And although you'd interacted before, it was never good. He was a handful when your paths crossed at the country-club, where you worked as a bartender. Seriously, he was very entitled. Thought his customer experience and satisfaction was the only one deserving of special attention. And when you weren't encountering each other at the country-club he was out and about with Topper and Kelce trying to piss of your best friends.

So him approaching you was weird but not out of the question. "I'm not wearing the apron and the stupid gloves, country-club.." you replied sardonically, "you want me to mix you up a drink or what?"

Rafe chuckled, a smirk on his face, and leaned in even closer. "I could use another drink, bartender." He spoke in a low tone, his eyes flicking down to your lips for a split second before meeting your gaze again.

His hand came up to grip your hip, the action both possessive and familiar, as though he had done it before. "I came over to get a better look at you.. You're a lot prettier than I remember."

"Yeah you could, you seem awfully thirsty..." you nodded, eyes glancing down at his hand resting casually on your hip. His last comment didn't really phase you, if he wasn't doing something unhinged he was flirting with girls at parties. At least that's what you were hoping was happening here.

Rafe chuckled again, his thumb gently tracing a small circle on your hip as he moved even closer, his chest nearly touching yours now. "Thirsty is one way to put it.." he spoke in a low, rough voice. His gaze traveled over your face, lingering on your eyes before flicking down to your lips again. "You're a lot more than just pretty, though.. You've got this whole 'dark and mysterious' thing going for you."

Despite yourself, you found your lips stretching into a small grin. You raised your hand, dragging your index finger over his chest, feigning interest in him. "You do know I'm 17 right?" you asked in sweet tone, the look in your eyes betraying it. Your hand pushed him back a little, your actions gentle and less harsh.

Rafe let your push him back, his smirk widening. He took another step towards you, his body still close, but not as close as before. His gaze held yours, amusement flickering in his eyes.

"Yes ma'am, I do know that. I'm 21.. But I don't really think the age difference really matters, does it?" he replied, his tone both playful and serious. His hand moved from your hip to your chin, tilting your face upwards. "I think you're a lot older than your age."

You turned your head from his grip, letting out a small snort of amusement, leaning against the table for support, "Are you trying to hit on me, country-club?" you asked, raising your eyes to lock with his blue ones.

Rafe chuckled, his hand still clutching your chin. He leaned in closer again, his face inches from yours, his smirk turning cocky.

"Maybe I am, little bartender.. Or maybe I'm just bored and drunk."

He paused, his gaze fixed on your lips before he continued, his voice dropping to a low, almost playful tone. "Though I have a feeling you're not as innocent as you look.."

"You just told me i have this 'mysterious and dark' thing going on for me.." you narrowed your eyes playfully at him, reaching up to adjust your glasses.

Rafe's smirk widened as you spoke, his gaze still locked on yours.

"True, you do have that whole 'Mysterious and dark' thing going on. But maybe that's what makes you so intriguing.." He replied, his hand still on your chin, gently tilting your face up to keep your eyes locked on his.

"Care to show me just how mysterious and dark you can get, little bartender? I'm curious to see."

Your smirk widened as if he had just fallen into the most funniest trap ever, shifting away from his grip to dig through your shorts' pocket. You pulled out a small switchblade, your initials carved on the wood of it. You flicked the blade open, grinning proudly as you showed it off, the blade glinting under the light.

Rafe quirked an eyebrow, his gaze flickering to the switchblade in your hand, a mix of surprise and interest on his face. He took a step closer, his head tilting to the side as he examined the initials engraved on the wood.

"Wow, bartender.. You know how to keep a guy on edge. That's not a bad quality.." He said, his smirk matching your own.

He reached out, grabbing your wrist gently, his gaze moving from the knife to your eyes. "Looks like you're not so innocent after all."

You didn't waste time tilting the blade right back at his face, still grinning, "And you don't seem to be scared of pogue girls carrying switchblades around and partying with your kook friends.."

Rafe's smirk didn't falter. If anything, he seemed more amused than ever. "Scared? Of you? Please.. I'm not afraid of some pogue girl with a switchblade."

He took a small step closer, leaning closer to the blade, his gaze still locked on yours, almost challenging. "And to be honest, I think it's kind of hot."

You glanced around the party for a few moments, noticing that some kooks were shooting questioning glances in your direction for holding a blade to Rafe's face. But that didn't deter you, in fact the alcohol in your system and the desire for a distraction was winning over your shame. Rafe released your wrist as you trailed the tip of the blade down to his chin and chest, stopping just shy of his belt. "So you're into knife play then.."

Rafe's eyes followed the blade as you dragged it over his face and chest, a smirk still on his lips. The kooks around them whispered and shot questioning glances, but he didn't seem bothered. If anything, he was enjoying the public attention.

He chuckled at your last comment, leaning closer, his eyes glinting with a dark, primal need.

"Maybe I am.. You want to find out, bartender..?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. His gaze flicked between the blade and your eyes, his body leaning in

You trailed it even lower, sinking the tip of the blade a little in the leather of his belt, smirk growing even more. "I think i can already tell for myself.." you murmured teasingly.

Rafe's smirk grew into a cocky, confident grin. He could feel his body reacting to your teasing, a wave of desire washing over him. He didn't care that there were people around them, watching their every move. All he cared about was you and that damn smirk on your face.

"You're being awfully cocky for a pogue with a small knife.." he leaned even closer, his face now right in front of yours. The blade was dangerously close to the crotch of his jeans, but he didn't seem fazed at all.

In retrospect flirting with Rafe Cameron at a kook party, while your friends blew up your phone probably looking for you, was a bad idea. But you liked bad ideas. You were full of them. And Rafe wasn't by any means ugly, he was charming and he knew how to handle whatever weird, drunk flirting you were throwing him. "I'm just cocky usually. Is there anything small about you? Aside from your IQ, of course.." you trailed off, dragging the blade above the belt now and slipping under his shirt a little. The tip of the blade now grazing the small happy trail above the belt, under his shirt.

Rafe's gaze darkened with desire, a low, rough chuckle escaping his lips. "Small IQ? That's a cheap shot, bartender."

He leaned closer, his body now pressed against yours, his breath hot on your face. "But no.. There's nothing small about me. And I'm more than happy to prove it to you.." he murmured, the hint of a challenge in his voice.

He watched as you dragged the tip of the blade down his happy trail, his body tingling with excitement. He could feel his control slowly slipping away, but he'd enjoy the thrill of it all

You couldn't help but feel the smirk grow wider across your face at his words, your ego inflating, your alcohol-laced confidence bubbling over. You were enjoying this a little too much, but you were too drunk to care. The adrenaline mixed with the feeling of power you held above him was making you feel like you were floating.

"Is that so? You talk big for someone who's so easily charmed by me pressing a sharp blade to his happy trail country-club.."

He chuckled at that, the smirk on his face matching yours. He was enjoying this little power struggle, the knife to his stomach only heightening his excitement. The adrenaline rushing through his veins made him feel alive, almost feral. He leaned closer, his lips near your ear.

"You think you have the upper hand just because you're holding a knife to my abdomen, bartender? You might be cocky, but I'm not afraid of a little blade. In fact, I think it makes you even hotter..."

You let out a chuckle, shaking your head at his words and retreating the blade, flicking it away from Rafe's eyes and stashing it in your pocket. "Don't tell me you got a hard-on from me pressing a knife to your stomach.." you teased, leaning back against the table with drinks, taking a sip from your forgotten red solo cup.

Rafe smirked, his gaze roaming over your body, taking in the sight of you leaning back against the table, cocky and seductive. He took a step closer, his body now towering over you, his gaze dark with desire.

"And what if I do? Are you gonna make fun of me for it.. Little bartender?"

He reached out, his hand gripping your hip and pulling you closer to him until your bodies were flush against each other. His fingers traced over the skin where your shorts ended, teasing the sensitive area just above it.

You nodded knowingly, "Degradation kink, too?" you asked coyly, not minding the distance shrinking between the two of you.

Rafe's smirk widened at your comment, his grip on your hip tightening as he pressed you harder against the table. He leaned in even closer, his face now inches away from yours, his voice low and gruff.

"Maybe.. And I bet you're just the kind of girl who'd get off on humiliating me, aren't you, bartender?..."

You tilted your head back a little, to properly look into his eyes, your smirk turning into something less cocky and more arousal filled, "Oh, country-club I'd humiliate you in ways you've never been before. While riding your brains out.." you leaned in slightly, as if you were telling a secret, before leaning back.

Rafe's pupils dilated, his grip on you now almost painful. He let out a low growl, the sound sending a shiver down your spine. His free hand rested on the side of your neck, his thumb brushing over your pulse point. He pushed you against the table, his hips pressing into yours as he ground against you.

"You're filthy, you know that.. a sick little thing who gets off on making men like me feel small.. but I bet you'd love it if I put you in your place..."

"Do you feel small?" you asked, feigning curiosity and casualness while his big hand rested against the side of your neck.

Rafe chuckled, his grip on your neck growing a little bit tighter. His gaze darkened with desire, his expression turning a little menacing.

"No. But having you boss me around and push me around like I'm some kind of puppy does make me feel a little.. Humbled."

You nodded at that, the smirk returning to your face. You took a step away from him, your expression shifting from cocky to playful as you eyed him up and down.

"Aww, big country-club boy feeling a little threatened by a small town bartender..." you cooed, your hand moving up to pat the side of his face patronizingly.

Rafe's jaw clenched, his expression hardening at your patronizing tone. He was used to people treating him with respect and fear, not patronization. But he had to admit, there was something a little bit exciting about being belittled by you.

"I'm not feeling threatened by you, bartender. But I am feeling a little bit... intrigued. You think you can just boss me around and I'll do whatever you say?" he scoffed, leaning in closer to you again, his gaze intense.

"I'll give you a prize if you do.." you grinned, cooing softly under your breath as you dropped your gaze on his lips.

Rafe's lips curled into a smirk, his gaze following yours down to your lips.

"And what kind of prize do I get if I'm a good boy and do what the bartender says?" he asked, his voice low and gruff. He took a step closer, his body now pressing against yours. His hand crept up to grip your hip again, his fingers digging into the skin through the fabric of your shorts.

"Me, country-club. Duh.." you chuckled, shaking your head.

Rafe's smirk widened, his grip on you growing a little bit tighter. He leaned in a bit closer, his lips hovering just above yours.

"You're gonna give me you as a prize?" he asked, his tone a little bit teasing. His gaze flicked down to your lips, then back up to your eyes. His fingers slid down to grip the bare skin of your thigh, his touch possessive and sure.

Rafe chuckled, his touch on your thigh growing bolder as he leaned in even closer. His lips grazed yours, his breath hot and ragged as he spoke.

"And what's the bartender gonna do if the country-club boy doesn't behave..?" he growled, his hand creeping up your thigh to grip your hip, pulling you even closer to his body. There was a dangerous glint in his eyes, a challenge.

All your cocky demeanor melted into something more lustful and needy. He was driving you insane. You hated it. You hated that he got under your skin like this. This was Rafe Cameron, not just some guy you should flirt at a party with. "Maybe I'll use the blade on you.."

Rafe's smirk widened, his hand gripping your hip even harder. He was getting a kick out of this. He liked that he could make you so flustered, make you want him like this. And he was more than willing to take advantage of it.

"Oh yeah? You gonna stab me, bartender?" he asked, his voice a low rumble. His body was now pressed tightly against yours, his hand moving from your hip to slide up your side.

"Yep." you nodded popping the 'P' "Just like how they do on The Cut.." you raised your hand to pat the side of his face patronizingly once again.

Rafe's jaw clenched at your patronizing touch, his gaze hardening. But there was something in his expression that was almost.. aroused by it. He was used to being feared, respected, not belittled like this. But it was stirring up something inside him, something he didn't quite understand.

"You really enjoy bossing me around, don't you bartender?" he asked, his voice a little shaky, betraying his arousal. He leaned in closer, his lips hovering just above yours, his breath ragged and hot.

You found yourself nodding once again, smirking slightly as you looked down at his lips hovered above yours, "and you're aroused by it, so i assume I'm doing something right."

Rafe couldn't deny it, but he'd be a proud little bastard all night long.

"Maybe a little..." he rasped out, his voice low and gruff. His hand was still on your hip, his fingers digging into your skin as he pulled you even closer to him, his body now flush against yours. His lips were still hovering just above yours, close enough to feel each others breath but not touching.

Rafe's self control was slipping. He could feel the heat radiating off of you, your body pressed up against his in all the right places. He wanted you more than he wanted anything in the world right now, and he was getting impatient. He could feel his own breathing growing ragged, his chest rising and falling with the effort of containing himself. But he knew better than to let his lust get the best of him.

"Bartender... I don't think you understand how much self restraint I'm exercising at the moment. You're really testing me here."

You let out a breathless chuckle, adjusting your glasses and bringing the cup to your lips to take another sip of your vodka orange. You were aware just how wrong this was. This was Rafe Cameron, the kook prince and the person who despised your friends the most. Still, you were drunk and heartbroken and Rafe looked so good tonight. You were just a girl after all, "So what do you want me to do?" you asked him teasingly, locking eyes with him once again.

Rafe's gaze darkened with desire as he looked at you. He was struggling to control himself, but you were pushing him to the edge. He leaned in even closer to you, his lips now just a breath away from yours. His hand gripped your hip tighter, holding you in place.

"You know exactly what I want." he growled, his voice low and rough. He was past caring about the wrongness of it, past caring that you were supposed to hate each other. All he cared about in that moment was you.

"No, i don't actually. Clue me in.." you teased, still smirking at him.

Rafe's patience was running thin. He was done with the teasing, done with the back and forth. He wanted you, and he wanted you now.

"You wanna play this game, huh bartender? Fine." he growled, his hand sliding from your hip to your waist, his grip tight and determined. He pulled you even closer to him, his body now pressing against yours as he leaned in to speak into your ear.

"How about this? You tell me what you want, and I'll give it to you."

You hummed thoughtfully, pretending to consider his words. You raised your hand, running it through the hair at the back of his head lazily, "Honestly, i just wanted a distraction when i came here.." you mumbled.

Rafe's breath hitched as you ran your hand through his hair. The way you touched him was both soothing and arousing, and it was driving him insane. He closed his eyes for a moment, savoring the feeling of your fingers on his scalp.

"Is that so?" he asked, his voice low and rough. He pulled away just a bit so he could look down at you, his gaze intense and serious. "And what kind of distraction were you looking for, exactly?"

"I was gonna get blackout drunk and high.." you smiled up at him, eyes drifting down to his lips for a few seconds.

Rafe's lips curled into a small smirk as he noticed you looking at his lips. He lifted your chin with his finger, tilting your head back so that your eyes were locked with his. There was something mischievous in his gaze, a sly glint that made it clear he was up to something.

"And you think I can help with that, huh?" he asked, his tone slightly mocking. He ran his fingers through your hair, feeling the softness of it against his skin. "I can get you drunk and high, no problem." he leaned in a little closer, his voice still teasing.

You nodded, feeling your cheeks redden a bit under his gaze. You were starting to feel the effects of the alcohol and the weed, your head spinning just a bit. You leaned into him, your body seeking the comfort of his presence. You were both drunk and high, and there was something about Rafe in this state that made him even more attractive to you.

You were vaguely aware of the music around you, the sound of people partying, but it all felt distant and unimportant. The only thing that mattered was Rafe and the heat that was building between the two of you. "And what after?" you asked.

Rafe chuckled softly, noticing the way you leaned into him. He could see the effects of the alcohol and the weed taking hold, and it made him feel a sense of power over you. He liked having this effect on you.

"After?" he repeated, his voice low and silky. He ran his hand down your arm, his fingers tracing a lazy pattern on your skin, his touch leaving a trail of heat in its wake. "After we're both wasted, I'll take you back to my place." he told you bluntly.

"And what if your sister sees me?" you chuckled lowly, wrapping your arms around his neck lazily.

Rafe's expression darkened briefly when you mentioned his sister, but he quickly shook it off and focused on you once again. He pulled you closer to him, his arm wrapping around your waist as he spoke.

"Sarah? She's always out with her damn boyfriend." he replied, his tone a mix of annoyance and nonchalance. "And even if she was there, she wouldn't care. She's got her own vices to worry about."

"Yeah, her boyfriend being one of my best friends... You know my friends hate you right?" you narrowed your eyes, smirking drunkenly up at him, carding your fingers through his hair.

Rafe grunted, his expression hardening at the mention of your friends. He didn't like being reminded of how much they disliked him, but he was too distracted by your touch to care too much.

"Yeah, I'm aware." he scoffed, his tone bitter. "Your little Pogue club has made it abundantly clear how much they hate me."

"I wonder why..." you giggled, tugging his hair lightly.

Rafe let out a low hiss of pain as you tugged his hair, but the hint of anger quickly melted away at the sound of your giggles. He leaned in closer to you, his breath hot on your neck as he spoke.

"I know why." he said darkly. "They're just a group of jealous little shits, too blinded by their own self-righteousness to see things for how they really are."

"What about me? you think I'm the same?" you asked, tilting your head to the side questioningly.

Rafe studied you for a moment, his gaze roaming over your face. There was something different about you, something that set you apart from your friends. Maybe it was the way you didn't hesitate to touch him or the way you didn't immediately shut down his advances.

"No." he said finally, his voice soft. He ran his hand down your cheek, brushing a strand of hair out of your face. "I don't think you're like them. You're different."

Your smile widened at his words despite them coming from the person you were supposed to despise. "How so?" you wondered out loud, shivering slightly as he ran his knuckles against your cheek.

Rafe let out a dry chuckle, his hand still cupping your cheek. There was a hint of arrogance in his voice as he spoke, as though he knew something you didn't.

"You're not so caught up in your own bullshit like the rest of your group." he said bluntly. "You're a little more open-minded, a little more willing to entertain the idea that maybe I'm not the worst person in the world.”

"Oh no, you are. I just wanna feel like i have control over who I'm going home with.. I don't plan on making a habit on sleeping with you." you mirrored the arrogance in his voice, smiling a little condescendingly.

Rafe's expression darkened, his jaw clenching at your condescending tone. He wasn't used to being talked to like this, especially from someone he considered beneath him. His grip on your waist tightened, but he tried to keep his voice steady.

"Is that so?" he said evenly. "You think you have control in this situation? You're in my world now, sweetheart. And I make the rules here."

Your expression remained neutral as you looked back at him, your tone becoming more challenging. You knew Rafe was used to being the one in charge, but you weren't going to make it easy for him.

"Funny." you said, tilting your head to the side. "I didn't realize this was your world. Last time I checked, it looked an awful lot like the same world I live in."

Rafe's grip on your waist tightened even more, his eyes narrowing at your defiant tone. He was growing irritated at your unwillingness to submit, but he also found it strangely intriguing. No one had ever dared to challenge him like this before.

"Oh, sweetheart." he said darkly. "You don't know a damn thing about my world. My world is filled with power, money, and influence. You..you're just a little Pogue from the wrong side of the tracks."

"Come on, country-club.. Is that how you charm girls usually? By insulting their social status?" you asked, shaking your head in mock disappointment.

Rafe grunted, his irritation growing at your mocking tone. He had a million things he wanted to say to you, but he also didn't want to give you the satisfaction of getting under his skin.

"I don't need to charm anyone, sweetheart." he said through clenched teeth. "Girls flock to me like bees to honey. I have my pick of the litter."

"Yet, you're still trying to get into my pants.." you continued to card your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, looking around for the said girls flocking to him.

Rafe's cheeks reddened at your bluntness, and he tried to hide his embarrassment by scoffing and rolling his eyes. But deep down, he knew you had a point. He was usually surrounded by girls vying for his attention, but here he was, focused solely on you. "Yeah, well." he muttered. "Maybe I just felt like slummin' it a little tonight."

This only earned him another condescending laugh from you. You found it amusing how he was trying to act like he was doing you a favor by giving you attention, like he was the one making some selfless sacrifice. "Yeah, sure. You're doing me a real favor here." you said sarcastically. "I'm sure you're having just as much fun slumming it up with me as I am with you."

Rafe's irritation boiled over at your mocking tone. He wasn't used to being made fun of, especially not by someone he viewed as beneath him. He pulled you closer to him, his grip on your waist so tight it was almost bruising.

"Watch it." he growled, his eyes narrowing. "I'm doing you a goddamn favor by even giving you the time of day. You're nothing but a little Pogue trash. You should be grateful I'm even talking to you."

You placed your hand over your heart pretending to be hurt by his words. "That's not nice, now is it? And here i thought you were gonna take me home.." you shook your head, leaning in teasingly.

Rafe's jaw clenched as you taunted him. He wasn't sure if he wanted to shut you up by kissing you or by throttling you. The way you leaned into him, your face so close he could feel the heat radiating off your skin, was driving him crazy.

"Don't test me." he warned, his voice low and dangerous. "I can make your night either hell or heaven."

Your expression hardened, looking down almost thoughtfully as your mind drifted towards the night you had. The fight with your mom, JJ and Kiara, the bitterness. Your night was already hell, "I don't think you can make it worse, to be honest.." you mumbled, unwrapping your arms from around his neck to adjust your glasses and take a final gulp of your drink.

Rafe softened a little at your words, sensing that something was bothering you. He loosened his grip on your waist, his hand now resting lightly on the curve of your hip.

"Rough night, huh?" he asked, his tone gentler than before. He couldn't quite place it, but there was something about you that made him feel oddly protective

"Very.." you nodded, letting out a bitter chuckle as you scanned the partying crowd lazily.

Rafe let out a small sigh, his thumb tracing absentminded circles on your hip. He was still irritated at you, but he also couldn't help but feel the urge to comfort you. It was like he could see the pain and anger bubbling beneath your surface, and he felt a strange compulsion to help you find comfort, even if it was just temporary.

"Wanna get out of here?" he asked, his gaze locked on yours.

You poked the inside of your cheek with the tip of your tongue. You knew sleeping with a random guy, much less sleeping with Rafe Cameron would help. But you didn't wanna go home tonight nor did you wanna crash at the Chateau. You studied his face, his flushed cheeks and messy hair and you found yourself smiling wearily, "You gonna let me use the blade on you?" you asked teasingly, leaning in once again.

Rafe chuckled at your question, his irritation melting away as you leaned in closer. His gaze was fixated on your lips as he watched them curl into a tired smirk. There was something about you that drove him crazy, and he couldn't deny his own desire for you. He rolled his eyes dramatically, "Only if you promise not to draw blood." he replied, his tone playful and teasing.

"I promise.." you murmured lowly, grazing your finger over his chest playfully.

Rafe's breath hitched at the feel of your touch on his chest, his eyes darkening with lust. The way you were looking at him, so confident and yet so vulnerable, was driving him insane. He couldn't help but smirk, his gaze flicking down to your lips before returning to your eyes.

"Care to find a quieter place?" he said, his voice thick with desire.

You looked around, the music thumping into your ears and making your lungs vibrate from the bass. You turned back to him, letting your glassy eyes roam over his face, "Upstairs or you wanna just go to your place?" you found yourself asking even though a small part of your mind was screaming at you not to go through with it.

Rafe's smirk widened at your question, his eyes glinting with desire and excitement.

"My place." he said firmly, his grip on your hip tightening as he spoke. "It's closer, and we won't be interrupted."

He leaned in closer, his breath hot against your ear, "I've got a bottle of Jack waiting for us, and a bottle of Jack is a friend of mine."

You smiled at the thought of getting even more wasted, and finishing the night off in a way that would make your mind drift away from your problems, even just for a few hours. The drive to the Cameron house was blurry, hurried and full of tension despite knowing how utterly wrong it was to let Rafe take you home.

He lead you up the grand staircase, his grip on your hand sure and determined. You were swaying slightly, definitely feeling the effects of the vodka and other alcohol you had that night, small quiet giggles escaping your lips as he dragged through the dark hallway at the top of the stairs. You weren't really used to seeing the house bathed in so much darkness, eyes drifting over the multiple tall, white doors, on every side of you.

Rafe chuckled at your giggles, his own movements a little unsteady as he guided you down the hallway. The alcohol was starting to get to him too, but he was determined to ignore the dizziness and keep his attention focused on you.

"Third door on the left." he said, his voice gruff with both desire and intoxication.

He opened the door, and quickly pulled you inside. The room was elegant and spotless, with a large bed taking up most of the space in the middle.

You looked around the room bathed only in the silvery moonlight before wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him in for a hurried kiss, lips moving with a sense of urgency.

Rafe returned the kiss just as eagerly, his hands coming up to cup your cheeks instinctively. He pushed you against the door, his body pressing close to yours as the kiss deepened. His fingers tangled in your hair, and he swallowed your little whimpers and gasps, feeling a wave of desire wash over him. With a sharp tug, he pulled away slightly, his breath ragged and his gaze dark with lust.

"Bed. Now." he growled, his voice thick with need.

"What about-.." you panted softly, adjusting your glasses, "You said something about a bottle of Jack.."

Rafe's smirk returned at your words, his eyes gleaming with amusement and excitement.

"You're right." he said, his voice dropping down to a low, taunting murmur.

He reluctantly pulled himself away from your body and walked over to the mini bar in the corner of the room. He reached down and retrieved an already open bottle of Jack Daniel's.

"You want a glass? Or should we just drink straight from the bottle?" he asked, holding up the bottle suggestively.

You grinned at the sight of the opened bottle of whiskey, walking over to him and grabbing the bottle from his hand, unscrewing the cap and taking a slow swig. You stepped closer, wrapping your free arm around his shoulder for support, leaning in for a fleeting kiss, "I don't like glasses.." you murmured when you pulled away, still grinning up at him.

Rafe watched as you took a long pull from the bottle, his eyes fixed on your lips and throat. The sight of you drinking straight from the bottle was oddly erotic, and he couldn't help but smirk at your words.

"You're trouble." he teased, his voice low and his arms wrapping around your waist.

He took the bottle from your hand and took a mouthful, his gaze locked onto your face as he swallowed with a satisfied hiss.

He set the bottle down on the nearby dresser, his hands roaming over your waist and pulling you closer to him. His body was pressed against yours, and he could feel the heat radiating off of you. He leaned in, his lips grazing the sensitive skin of your neck as he spoke, his voice a low, gravelly whisper. "You taste like booze.."

"So do you.." you leaned in, chasing his lips in the dim light for another slow kiss, enjoying the sounds he made as he kissed you. Your head was spinning a little and you no longer cared about the consequences of your actions, the desire and arousal overpowering every feeling.

Rafe deepened the kiss, his tongue flicking against yours briefly, before he pulled away to press hot, open-mouthed kisses along your jawline and neck. His breathing was heavy as he began to trail a path of kisses and nips down your neck, his hands sliding down your body until they reached the hem of your shirt.

"Lift up your arms, baby.." he whispered, his voice low and husky with arousal.

You took off your glasses setting them down on the bar behind you before lifting your arms in a languid motion so he discarded your old crop top somewhere in the dimly lit room. You were left in your shorts and your black lacy bra, smirking up at him.

Rafe's eyes roamed over your body, appreciating every inch of your exposed skin. He swallowed hard, his gaze darkening as he took in the sight of you in just your shorts and bra. He let out a low, appreciative whistle, before grasping your hips and pulling you closer, so that your bodies were pressed against each other once more.

He lifted a hand, gently brushing his thumb over the lace of your bra, his touch light and teasing.

He leaned in, his hot breath tickling your ear as he began to kiss and bite down your neck. His hands traveled up your waist, his fingers softly tracing the outline of your bra as he sucked and nipped at your skin. He was losing himself in the desire, his movements becoming rougher, more desperate.

"Fuck, you're so beautiful..." he murmured, his hands trailing down to your shorts, his fingers playing with the waistband.

You chuckled lightly as he bit and mouthed at your neck, a stark contrast from the cocky guy who approached you at the party. You raised your hands, tangling them in his light-brown hair, messing it up as he continued to nip at your soft flesh, pulling small gasps and sighs from you.

Rafe groaned softly at the feeling of your fingers in his hair, the sound low and feral in his throat. His hands were all over your body, as if he couldn't get enough of your touch, your skin against his. His fingers ghosted up your bare sides, causing you to shiver slightly, his lips never leaving your neck as he sucked and kissed and bit his way across the sensitive skin.

He was quickly starting to come undone before your very eyes, the cocky exterior melting away to raw desire and need.

He lifted you up suddenly, your legs wrapping around his waist instinctively as he walked forward and pressed you against the nearby wall. His hips were grinding against yours, the friction of his jeans against your shorts nearly maddening, his body burning hot against yours. Rafe's kisses grew more fierce as his hands roamed your body, his fingers leaving a trail of fire against your skin with every touch.

You cupped his face almost hastily, pulling him for a hurried kiss, muffling the small sounds spilling from your lips from the grinding of his hips. You wrapped your legs around his waist more tightly, arching into his chest as you deepened the kiss, mirroring his desperation.

Rafe was consumed by his desire for you, his body pressing against you as if he couldn't get close enough. He eagerly reciprocated the kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth with a growing need, his hands gripping your thighs as he practically pinned you to the wall.

He rocked his hips forward, grinding against you, a deep moan of pleasure escaping him between kisses. His head was spinning, his thoughts a hazy mess of need and want. All he knew was that he couldn't get enough of you, that he needed to be as close to you as possible.

He broke the kiss, his lips leaving yours to trail slowly down your neck, leaving hot kisses along your collarbone, biting and nipping at the sensitive skin. His hot breath panted against your ear, his lips whispering filthy words in a low tone.

He knew he was losing control, but he didn't care. He wanted you, needed you, more than he'd ever needed anything in his life. His hands were roaming your body, pulling you closer, even as you were already pressed against the wall.

You closed your eyes, your fingers tightening in his hair, your body arching into his touch and his words. You were completely lost in him, drunk on his touch and his scent, your skin feeling like it was on fire wherever he touched you. You couldn't think straight, your thoughts a hazy cloud of desire. All you could do was cling to him, your chest heaving with uneven breaths and needy moans. You knew it should be wrong, but right now, it felt so right.

Rafe was consumed by the same fierce desire that was coursing through you. He was on fire, his every touch and movement, driven by a primal need to have you, to be close to you. He lifted his head from your neck, his eyes locking onto yours, their gaze dark and intense. He was drunk on you, intoxicated by the sounds you made, the way your body reacted to his touch. His voice was a low, ragged whisper against your ear.

"I need you... I need you right now."

You locked eyes with him in the semi-darkness nodding with a drunk and aroused grin, "Get on the bed then.." you murmured, still carding your fingers through his hair almost soothingly as you tried to catch your breath.

Rafe's eyes darkened with raw desire at the sound of your voice, his body responding immediately to your command. He didn't need to be told twice. He lifted you up in his arms effortlessly, his fingers digging into your skin, holding you tightly. He carried you across the room, his steps quick and confident, as he made his way to the nearby bed.

He laid you down gently, his body following suit, hovering over you. His breaths were coming in short, ragged puffs as he took in the sight of you, his eyes roaming over your form hungrily.

You let out a satisfied chuckle, your palms roaming over his shoulders before one of your hand reached down to pluck the small switchblade from the pocket of your shorts, "Wanna have some fun, country-club?"

His eyes darted down to the switchblade, a mix of surprise and excitement flickering across his face. A smirk formed on his lips as he nodded, his eyes locked onto yours, his expression a wicked mix of curiosity and desire.

He lowered himself down until the weight of his body was pressed against yours. He leaned in closer, his breath hot against your skin as he whispered, "Show me what you can do with that blade..."

You flipped him over, straddling his hips in a swift motion. You flipped the blade out trailing it down his chest teasingly before stopping above his belt. You smirked up at him, digging the tip of the blade into the leather once again, "You like this belt?" you asked lowly.

He raised his eyebrow at your quick movement, a surprised gasp escaping his lips as you straddled him. His heart was hammering in his chest, a mix of excitement and anticipation coursing through him as the blade danced across his chest.

He swallowed, his eyes never leaving yours as he answered your question. His voice was husky and low, filled with a mix of arousal and curiosity. "Yeah... It's my favorite.."

You pretended to pout, hooking one finger under the belt raising it slightly, placing the blade under it. In another swift motion you cut through the leather without undoing the buckle, pulling the belt from the beltloops and discarding it somewhere on the floor.

Rafe's eyes widened, a mixture of surprise and arousal flashing across his face as you expertly sliced through the belt without bothering to undo it. He swallowed again, his chest rising and falling a little quicker than before as he watched you toss the belt aside.

His gaze flicked back to your face, a slow, cocky smirk replacing the somewhat shocked expression on his face. He inhaled sharply, "That was hot.." he murmured, his eyes roaming over your form, taking you in as he lay underneath you.

His hands found their way to your thighs, his fingers slowly trailing up your legs, leaving a trail of heat wherever they went. His touch was light, teasing, as if he was mapping out every inch of your skin. He looked up at you from where you were straddling him, his eyes still dark with desire, his smirk never leaving his lips.

He moved his hands to your hips, his fingers digging into your skin, pulling you closer against him. He leaned up just enough to murmur against your ear, his voice low and gravelly, "I hope you have more tricks up your sleeve.."

You chuckled, leaning back slightly. You hooked another finger under one of your bra straps, grinning down at him as you sliced through it too, watching his reaction intently. "We're even now.." you murmured, chuckling as you cut through the other strap, placing the blade in your mouth to reach behind you and undo the clasp, pulling the scrap of lace away from your chest.

Rafe's smirk transformed into a devilish grin as he watched you effortlessly slice through the straps of your bra, his eyes glued to the motion. He chuckled along with you, his hands roaming over your thighs, almost kneading like a cat, when you leaned back again, discarding your bra somewhere on the floor. His nostrils flared, his breaths coming out in short, ragged spurts, as he took in the sight of your bare chest.

He shifted under you, his body moving as he tried to find a more comfortable position against the bed.

His eyes were still locked on yours, his gaze hungry and intense. His hands slid up your thighs, his touch firm and possessive, as he pulled you towards him again. He wanted you closer, he needed to be closer. His words were a low growl that rumbled in his chest.

"You're so damn hot... And so goddamn good with knives.. Where did you learn this at..?" He asked as he reached your hips, gripping you and forcing you even closer to him.

You hummed pretending to think about his question before smirking "The Cut is a very dangerous place.." you cooed. "Take off your shirt.." you commanded softly.

Rafe chuckled, amused by your snarky response. His hands obeyed your command without a second thought, leaving your hips and quickly moving to the hem of his shirt. In one swift motion, he pulled it off, revealing the tan, smooth skin and hard muscles beneath. He dropped the shirt to the side, raising an eyebrow at you, the smirk still playing on his lips.

Your gaze roamed over his bare chest, your eyes roving over every dip and contour of his body. You leaned forward, your hands sliding over his skin after placing the blade aside, tracing over the ridges and valley of his muscles. You felt him shiver under you, his breathing growing more labored as your fingertips danced across his flesh. "Not bad..."

Rafe's skin pebbled with goosebumps, his entire body tensing as your fingers traced over his chest, drawing out a low, guttural moan from his throat. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment, his head tilting back into the bed as he relished in the sensation of your touch. He was a strong, powerful man, but in this moment, he felt vulnerable and exposed, completely surrendering himself to your every touch.

"You like what you see..?" He murmured, his voice thick with desire.

"I do.." you cooed softly, leaning in to press small chaste kisses over his jaw, hands sliding down to pop the button of his jeans open, "Can i ride you, Rafe?" you asked lowly, breath ghosting over the shell of his ear.

Rafe groaned, the sound deep and guttural, as your lips left a trail of kisses down his jaw. His breath hitched when your fingers popped the button of his jeans open, the touch igniting a fire in him he didn't know he had. The sound of your voice, low and seductive, sent a shiver down his spine, and he could feel himself growing harder at the thought of you riding him.

He managed to open his eyes, meeting your gaze, his voice thick with lust as he nodded, his words a strangled moan

"God yes.. please.."

You leaned back, climbing off his lap momentarily to slide down your shorts, throwing them on the floor too, leaving you in your black underwear. You straddled him once again as you zipped down his pants, pulling them down his thighs, not bothering to take them off fully. Your movements were hurried and full of arousal, pulling him out of his boxers and hovering just above him. You slid your underwear to the side, hovering just a few moments more before letting yourself sink down on him, a sweet low moan escaping your lips.

Rafe groaned deeply as you straddled him, his head falling back against the bed as his hips bucked involuntarily, searching for that sweet pressure that he knew he'd soon feel. His eyes fluttered shut, his fingers gripping the sheets as hard as he could as he felt your fingers teasing him, hovering just above him, the anticipation driving him crazy.

And then you finally filled yourself with Rafe, and he could no longer form a complete sentence, he let out a strangled moan, his breath coming out in quick little pants. His eyes shot open, meeting your gaze, the lust and desire written all over his face as he leaned up to kiss your neck, his lips grazing the sensitive skin there.

"God damn... how the hell are you so good at this.." He muttered against your skin, his hands roaming over your back, searching for something to hold onto, something to ground himself.

"Practice, i guess.." you mumbled, hands coming up to rest on his shoulders for support, throwing your head back as you waited fully to adjust to all the feelings coursing through you, to the size of him.

Rafe chuckled weakly, the sound coming out more like a moan than anything as he felt you adjust to him. His hands held tightly to your hips, his grip firm and desperate. He leaned up as much as he could to press sloppy kisses across your collarbone, his mouth trailing a hot, wet path along your skin.

"I'm gonna.." he groaned, his breath hitching as you shifted slightly above him "I'm gonna need you to move soon"

You chuckled softly, lifting your head back up to look at him, your tongue running across your bottom lip in playful tease."Impatient, are we?"

Your tone was playful as you spoke, though you could feel the growing tension in your own body, your own desire for him building up with every second that passed. Slowly, you began to move, your thighs flexing as you lifted yourself up, the sensations rippling through your body like electricity, leaving you wanting more as you slammed down, eyes fixed down on where you were connected.

Rafe felt like he was in heaven, the sensations you were giving him were heavenly. His head fell back on the pillow, a loud moan leaving his lips as you moved once more, each time bringing him closer and closer to the edge.

"Yes..” he whispered, his voice hoarse and needy as he looked up at you "Please.. I need to.. oh god" Another moan left his lips, as he tried to force himself to speak his mind

You began moving in earnest now, setting a fast and hard pace, relishing in the way Rafe's body responded to you, the way his hands gripped your hips tightly. You could see beads of sweat starting to form on his forehead as he tried to keep himself together, his breathing becoming erratic. Your moans mingled with his as you chased your own pleasure, face twisted in pleasure. "So big.. so good.." you cooed between harsh breaths.

The words you spoke were like music to his ears, sending him over the edge with each one, making him lose himself completely in the pleasure you were giving him. He reached up to bury one hand in your hair, tugging it roughly, his other hand roaming across your side, his fingers leaving marks on your skin as he gripped you tightly, as if he was afraid you were going to vanish.

"You're so.. tight.. so perfect" He groaned out, his mouth open as he tried to gasp for air, his own breathing ragged and harsh. You could see the strain to keep control on Rafe's face, the way his eyebrows furrowed, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as if to hold back a sound. You felt it in the way his fingers dug into your hip, the way his breath hitched, and the way his body moved underneath you.

His hand in your hair was gripping it tightly, tilting your head back as he thrust into you, matching your rhythm and guiding your hips with his other hand. Your nails dug in the flesh of his shoulder, your moans catching in your throat as the tip of him kissed your cervix with every movement.

He let out a guttural moan at the feeling of your nails digging into him, his hand in your hair pulling harder, making your head tilt back even more, giving him the perfect angle to kiss your neck. His tongue traced a hot, wet path up to your ear, his breath hot and uneven.

"Ride me.. ride me like you mean it" he commanded you roughly, his voice holding a hint of desperation.

The way his words made you feel, the sound of them deep and gravelly, left you reeling. The tone of his voice, the command behind them, it made you want to submit to him, to give him whatever he wanted, and when you did, he showed you in all the right ways how grateful he was. Your body moved faster and harder above him, as you rode him like he was asking, as you were craving. A series of moans and whimpers and gasps leaving your lips

You looked down at where he was buried inside of you, face twisting in pleasure and ecstasy, relishing in the feeling of his big hand in your hair and the other one guiding your hips sloppily. Your heart was pounding in your chest, your breath coming out in erratic gasps as you felt your body respond to his words, your hips picking up the pace, riding him like he had asked, as best you could, given his death grip on them. It was as if a switch had been flipped and all you could think about was him, the pleasure he was giving you, the way he felt inside of you.

He watched you with hunger in his eyes, his breath coming out in ragged gasps as he felt you move over him, obeying his command. The wet, flithy sounds filling the room were the only thing that could be heard, as well as both of your ragged breaths. His body was trembling, his thighs shaking under you from the effort he was making to keep himself from coming, his moans and the filth escaping him, the obscene words that he spoke in your ear, words he would deny ever saying once he came. But he couldn't help the effect you had on him, the words he couldn't stop himself from saying when you were riding him like the good girl he knew you could be, when he had the perfect hold on your head and hip, when he could guide you in the ways that pleased him the most. He couldn't control it, and he didn't want to, at least for the moment.

You arched into his chest even more, digging your nails into his shoulders almost hard enough to pain him, "Rafe.. 'm close.." you mumbled breathlessly, keeping the pace of your hips fast, your movements growing more frantic and sloppy.

"Come for me, angel." He breathed out, the words dripping with need and lust. His hand in your hair pulled again, tilting your head to the side, his mouth immediately going to your neck, his teeth sinking into the soft flesh there, his lips sucking at the sensitive skin, leaving a possessive mark, one you'd have to hide from your friends later.

Your whole world was Rafe Cameron at the moment, how could it not be. He was everywhere, on you, in you, touching you, leaving traces of himself all over you. His hand in your hair, his mouth on your neck, his hands on your hips, you felt like he had his fingerprints all over you. Your breathing was growing more harsh, letting out a sweet moan as the pleasure finally snapped in your lower stomach, your orgasm washing over you and causing your body to shake gently in his arms, thighs clenching almost painfully.

His name left your lips like a mantra, and he kissed you to swallow the sound, taking your bottom lip between his teeth, nipping at it gently. He loved the way his name sounded on your lips, and how easily he could get you to say it, but he loved the sounds you made even more. And when you did say his name in that soft, breathy, desperate way it left him reeling. He was addicted to it, and knew he'd never be able to get enough. He kissed you with a fierce, desperate passion, his hands roaming your body, wanting to touch all of you at the same time, his hips lifting to meet yours.

He could feel you trembling in his hold, and he knew you were feeling sensitive and over worked and he loved that. That he was the one to make you feel that way, and that he'd be the only one to ever put you like this. He kissed away the moans he was eliciting from you, the small whimpers, the soft sighs and gasps of pleasure, loving every moment of it.

He held you as you came down slowly from your high, his hands now soothing and gentle, running softly up and down your back. He placed gentle kiss to your neck, your shoulder, your face. Anywhere he could place a kiss, he did. He was completely wrecked, but he wanted to make sure you felt good. He knew the feeling and he knew it could overwhelm you a bit. So he was trying to be as sweet as he could.

"Did you finish..?" you asked, still moving your hips lazily, drawing out the pleasure as long as you could.

He groaned at the feeling of you still moving your hips, his eyes fluttering shut momentarily, his breathing ragged. Your question made him chuckle. "Yeah, yeah I did.. about two minutes ago" he responded. He gently grabbed your hips, encouraging you to still, his own hips still, trying to catch his breath

You looked down at him, eyes roaming over his face. You had just fucked Rafe Cameron. And enjoyed it nonetheless. You felt a bit guilty bout it but you pushed down the feeling, too drunk and satisfied from the sex to care at the moment. You could regret it tomorrow when you were gonna wake up with a hangover and not remember half of what you just did or said. "Good.." you mumbled, resting your forehead on his shoulder, sighing quietly.

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close, his hands tracing random patterns on your back. His heart rate was still elevated, but it was slowly returning to normal, his breathing more even. The afterglow of sex still lingered between you, and, for once, Rafe didn't feel the need to say anything. He simply held you, his head resting on top of yours as his fingers ran gently up and down your spine.

A/N: Sorry for the delay, ive been fighting the most awful cold for the past days. What do y'all think about the first meeting between Rafe and the reader? They're such freaks, I'm actually giggling and kicking my feet every time i have a scene with Rafe. The last part of the chapter is a flashback, in case you couldn't tell..

Tag-list*:･ﾟ✧ @cali-888, @bee-43, @jjscoquette, @melsbels-zip, @stanseventeen @wh0reforbucknasty @wtfisastiles @annaconscience @pqndxra @carrerascameron @nini2mem

[minas-linkverse]

about the dynamics thingy, ( sorry if this is late ) botw Zelda and link maybe? Or twi and legend? Have an nice dayyy

Ohohoo you've chosen to ask about the duo with some of the most stuff to talk about. >:]

Zelda and (botw) Link's relationship in this au is undeniably positive, but also very complicated. The best way for me to explain it is to explain the big events in their shared past that shaped that relationship!

Pre-Calamity

Zelda, faced with a heavy destiny she did not want and feared she'd never be able to fulfill... Was understandably in an emotionally turbulent state. When she first met Link --a boy who seemed to lack opinions of his own and seemed to fulfill his role perfectly-- she hated him. However she felt immensely guilty of that, and after an outburst apologized and tried to explain herself to Link. After all, Link was very much in the same boat as her, maybe... Maybe he could actually get it.

He unfortunately had to disappoint her...

The war

Despite their inability to form an emotionally connection through words, they did end up becoming close due to the horrors they witnessed together. They couldn't talk about how they felt but they kept each other safe.

When Zelda lost Link and awakened to her destiny, it wasn't as much due to the pain of losing a friend, but losing the last person she had. The last hope the kingdom had.

100 years later

When Zelda called out to Link in the Shrine of Resurrection, she was speaking out to a legendary hero who was destined to slay Calamity ganon.

The person who heard her however, was a memory-less boy who realized he has epic sword skills and can do back-flips. Hearing of his destiny, he decided to immediately go the very opposite direction and instead have fun. They had the wrong guy! This "Link" guy may have owned this body before but he now didn't know or care about these strangers.

Yet during his journey across Hyrule... He fell in love with it. The first few memories he tried to ignore, but as they kept coming he came to realize two things:

The Link the world had known 100 years ago was not happy. He was simply the ideal soldier, someone with no opinions of his own.

The Princess had deserved better than who he'd been. Now that Link had grown to love the world and tried to reject a destiny forced upon him, the feelings she shared with him suddenly made sense-- And thinking back to his lack of response broke his heart.

He wasn't going to run away from what needed to be done anymore. Link seeked out his destiny and slayed Calamity Ganon. For the world he loved, and... For the Princess who he wanted nothing more than to apologize to.

Post Game

Before being yoinked into the comic, Zelda and Link have been reconnecting while getting started with rebuilding Hyrule-- Not as a kingdom, but a home. It was certainly awkward at first. In Zelda's eyes this boy wore the face of someone she knew, but acted entirely different... And on top of that, this stranger knew her like they'd known one another for ages.

Despite the horrors in their memories that will never fade, and the endless guilt as the only few who made it out... They found a new kind of happiness neither had felt before.

To me their relationship in the comic is probably the best described as queerplatonic. It's not even a question of if they'll be together for the rest of their lives, its a promise they've already made without a single word.

Being taken on a whole new adventure without her has been jarring to Link, but! Zelda has good people around her. The two are not dependent on one another. Hopefully the time travel nonsense will get him back home for a quick hi sometime soon, but at least he'll have a lot of interesting things to tell her...

They're a team! To the very end!

Disclaimer: If the comic contradicts whats written here in the future, the comic's canon is the one you should prioritize!

[st7rnioioss]

• . ⋮ skater!chris introduction .ᐟ ֹ ₊

── skater!chris moodboard

⋆˚𝜗𝜚 … chris initially had no clue who girly!reader were, mostly because he didn’t pay any attention to her - to anyone. he had the social group with an amount of people you could count on one hand, who were all in the same boat as him; completely fucked up sleep schedule, which led to a crazy intake of energy drinks, not terrible grades, but they weren’t good… at all, and bad relationships with their teachers, mostly from talking back to them.

they all listen to their nirvana, red hot chili peppers, and green day together, skate late at night, band practicing in his friends garage, loudly roam the halls, and occasionally share a joint by the ramps in the skatepark.

so what on earth made him end up with a girl like girly!reader? the shy and socially awkward angel, who only went to school to secure the perfect grades she’d aimed for her whole life. well, he couldn’t tell you. but he knew that whenever he saw her walking around in her pretty skirts and shyly waving at him, he wanted to throw his awful habits straight out the window and get his shit together. he was head over heels for her.

𐔌 . ⋮ introduction ahead... .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

you had originally not known about chris. sure, you usually saw him and his friends roam campus, being annoying and what not, but if someone were to ask you, you couldn’t put a name on either of them. that was until, you had been waiting for your order at starbucks, standing in the corner while waiting for your name to be read out loud, when all of a sudden chris comes up to you, a little too loudly having said “hey, i know you. yeah?” while pointing at you. you had looked down at his hand that was pointing, almost touching your chest before you looked back up at him, muttering a quiet “you do?”.

chris proceeded to more formally, if you may, introduce himself, explaining that he had seen you around school, noticed you in a few different classes, so and so. at first you were confused why in the world chris, of all people, would talk to you. you were completely opposite people.

he had awkwardly tried to tuck his skateboard under his arm while he took sips of his coffee, walking with you to the park, attempting to spark up some conversation. there had been some awkward tension for a while, but when he really opened, and softened up, it was like you had known chris for days, months even. he continued taking you to the skatepark, showing you a few tricks he knew and some he was attempting to learn.

and yeah. you did catch onto chris checking you out.. a lot of times. but you didn't blame him, because you were checking him out too. in your world, you weren't checking him out, it was more because you two were so different that something about him made you curious - fascinated almost.

at the end of the day, you and chris both had fun. a lot. you exchanged numbers and chris reminded you not to be shy to ever tap on his shoulder if you ever saw him around - you could always hang out with him whenever.

more skater!chris here

© ST7RNIOIOSS est. 2023

[movingmusically]

hiii, how are you? :) I keep thinking about austin talking about how he used to go to Disneyland with his mom and how cherished those memories are so I was wondering if you could write something about austin taking his girlfriend to Disney for the first time (like, her first time but also his bc he hadn't been there since ages) and making new memories <3 thank you

Word Count: 2k

Masterlist

The Happiest Place on Earth

The morning air was crisp, the kind of rare, perfect California day where the sky stretched endlessly in a soft blue haze—warm but not stifling, with just enough of a breeze to make it comfortable. You stood at the entrance of Disneyland, fingers laced tightly with Austin’s, your excitement barely contained.

It had been years since he’d been back—not since a past relationship, long enough that the memory felt distant but not so long that the nostalgia wasn’t there. And for you? It was your first time. You’d never had the chance to go as a kid, never known the giddy anticipation of waiting in line for your favourite ride, or the magic of seeing the castle light up at night. But today, that was changing.

“You ready?” Austin asked, squeezing your hand, his blue eyes alight with something that looked an awful lot like boyish excitement.

You grinned up at him, your stomach fluttering. “More than ready.”

The moment you stepped inside, it was overwhelming in the best way. The music, the scents of churros and popcorn drifting through the air, the cheerful buzz of families and couples moving through Main Street—it was everything you’d imagined and more. But the best part was Austin.

You watched as his gaze flickered over the familiar sights, his features softening, a quiet sort of nostalgia settling into his expression. He didn’t say it outright, but you could tell—being here meant something to him.

He caught you watching and huffed a small laugh, shaking his head. “Man, this is weird.”

“In a good way?” you asked, brushing your thumb along the side of his hand.

He nodded, glancing around. “Yeah. It’s just been so long. I used to come here all the time with my mom and sister when I was homeschooled. Some days, my mom would just wake us up and say, ‘Let’s go to Disneyland,’ like it was no big deal.”

You smiled at the thought. “That sounds amazing.”

“It was,” he said, his voice a little softer now. “We’d come on random weekdays when it wasn’t too crowded. My mom would let us pick one thing each that we had to do—my sister always wanted the teacups, I wanted Pirates of the Caribbean.” His lips curved slightly. “I remember being obsessed with the ride as a kid. I used to close my eyes and pretend I was actually on a ship.”

You bit back a smile. “So you were a pirate kid?”

“Oh, one hundred percent,” he said without hesitation. “Had the little sword and everything.”

The mental image made you laugh. “I need photographic evidence.”

“You’ll have to ask my grandma,” he teased. “She probably still has a stack of pictures somewhere.”

Your heart swelled a little at the thought—his childhood memories, his grandma saving old photos, the way Disneyland still felt like a piece of home to him, even after all these years.

You leaned in, nudging his shoulder. “Then we have to go on Pirates at least twice. Make little Austin proud.”

He chuckled, but there was something tender in the way he looked at you. “You’re gonna love it.”

And you did.

You weren’t sure what was more fun—the ride itself or seeing Austin slip into full tour guide mode, pointing out little details along the way, sharing trivia he’d clearly known since childhood. He was grinning before the boat had even left the dock, and when you hit the first drop, he turned to you immediately, watching your reaction more than the ride itself.

“I can’t believe I’ve never been here,” you said breathlessly as you floated past the animatronic pirates, taking in every detail. “This is incredible.”

Austin beamed. “Told you.”

By the time you stumbled off the ride, your excitement was still buzzing through you, but Austin had something else in mind.

“Okay,” he said, his grip tightening around your hand. “I have something important to show you.”

“Another childhood favourite?” you guessed, letting him lead you through the crowds.

“More important than that,” he said, stopping abruptly in front of a cart.

Your eyes flickered over the stand’s display, and your lips parted with understanding. “Mickey ears.”

Austin nodded solemnly. “It’s a requirement.”

You laughed. “I knew this was coming.”

“I was gonna give you a choice, but now I’m thinking I should just pick for you,” he teased, eyeing the selection.

You beat him to it, grabbing a pair of classic rose gold sequined ears and settling them onto your head. “There,” you said, striking a dramatic pose. “How do I look?”

His lips twitched, eyes scanning you with exaggerated scrutiny. “Like a walking Instagram post.”

“Perfect.” You grinned, then grabbed a plain black pair and handed them to him. “Your turn.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Just classic black? Not even the Sorcerer Mickey hat? No light-up ones?”

“These suit you. Classic, understated, effortlessly cool.”

He squinted at you. “Are you describing me or the ears?”

“Both.”

Shaking his head, he took the ears and placed them on his head.

You stepped back and tilted your head, pretending to inspect him. “You know, I think they really bring out your eyes.”

He laughed, the sound rich and full, and you knew you’d remember that sound long after today.

“I have to admit,” he said, nudging you as he pulled out his phone. “We look pretty damn good.”

You leaned in as he snapped a quick selfie, one arm wrapped around your shoulder as he angled the phone. The screen reflected the two of you—his Mickey ears slightly askew, your rose gold ones glittering obnoxiously in the sunlight, matching grins on your faces. He looked at the picture and smirked. “Alright, we’ve officially reached peak Disney couple.”

“Speaking of peak Disney,” you said, slipping your hand back into his. “I believe I was promised a churro.”

Austin’s expression turned serious. “A fair request.”

You barely made it three steps before he spotted the nearest churro stand and led you straight to it. The line moved quickly, and soon, he was handing you a warm, cinnamon-dusted churro. He watched as you took your first bite, eyes scanning your face for a reaction.

You closed your eyes for effect, humming dramatically. “Oh my god. This is life-changing.”

Austin chuckled. “That good, huh?”

You nodded solemnly. “I might need three more.”

“Noted,” he said, already taking his own bite. His eyes closed briefly, and you could practically see the nostalgia washing over him.

When he opened them again, his voice had softened. “Man, I forgot how good these were.”

You swallowed your bite, nudging him lightly. “What’s your favourite memory here?”

He exhaled, eyes flicking around the park before settling back on you. “Honestly?” He paused. “Probably watching the fireworks with my mom and sister. I remember she’d hold me on her hip so I could see better, and she’d whisper stuff like, ‘Make a wish, baby.’” He smiled a little, lost in the memory. “And I always did.”

You felt something ache in your chest. “What did you wish for?”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “I don’t even remember. Probably something dumb, like unlimited ice cream.”

“Solid wish.”

“Right?” He grinned, bumping your shoulder. Then, a little softer, “I think she knew, though. That I wasn’t really wishing for things. I think she just wanted me to believe in something.”

You squeezed his hand, the moment stretching between you.

“She sounds incredible.”

“She was,” he said, his voice full but steady.

You both took a few quiet steps, the noise of the park filling the space between you. Then, in an effort to lift the mood, you bumped his hip gently.

“Okay, new tradition. We have to watch the fireworks together tonight.”

His lips curved. “Oh, is that the rule?”

“Absolutely. You have to make a wish, too.”

He considered it for a second. “Only if you do.”

You pretended to think it over, then nodded. “Deal.”

His grip on your hand tightened for just a second before he turned to you with a smile. “Come on,” he said, tugging you forward. “You’ve got a lot to experience.”

The next stop was Space Mountain. Your stomach twisted as you looked up at the sleek white dome, the distant screams of riders echoing from inside. You weren’t scared, exactly, but there was something about the unknown that made you grip Austin’s arm a little tighter.

“Don’t tell me you’re nervous,” he teased.

“Not nervous,” you lied.

He chuckled, leaning down to press a quick kiss to your temple. “You’ll love it. Trust me.”

And, of course, he was right. The rush of the ride, the sharp twists and sudden drops, the way the darkness swallowed you whole before the stars blinked around you—it was exhilarating. When you stumbled off at the end, breathless and grinning, Austin was already looking at you with a satisfied smirk.

“Told you,” he said smugly.

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t stop smiling. “Fine. You were right.”

The day blurred into a perfect whirlwind of colour and movement. Austin took the lead, guiding you from ride to ride. Thunder Mountain, Indiana Jones, the Matterhorn—each one had you laughing, screaming, gripping onto him for dear life. And each time, he held onto you just as tightly.

You screamed your way through and laughed until your stomach hurt when he dramatically recounted his childhood “trauma” from Splash Mountain’s drop.

The afternoon stretched on, a golden haze settling over the park. He bought you a Dole Whip, and you sat together in the shade, sharing spoonfuls as people bustled past.

The moment that settled deepest in your chest came when you wandered through Fantasyland. It was slower here, quieter, a step away from the high-energy thrills of the day. Austin slowed his pace, his fingers lacing more gently with yours as he glanced around.

“This was my mom’s favourite part,” he said softly. “She loved the little details. The window displays, the music. She always said this was where the magic really was.”

You squeezed his hand. “Do you miss it?”

He nodded. “Yeah. But… it’s nice being here with you. Making new memories.”

You rose onto your toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Then let’s make some more.”

And so you did. You pulled him onto the carousel, despite his mock protests that it was “for kids.” You convinced him to ride It’s a Small World, and despite his complaints, you caught him humming the tune under his breath afterward.

By the time the sky darkened and the fireworks began, you found yourselves standing in front of the castle. Austin stood behind you, his arms wrapped around your waist, his chin resting on your head. When the first burst of light exploded in the sky, you felt his breath catch slightly, just for a second.

Neither of you spoke. You just watched, letting the moment wrap around you. It felt big—like something was shifting, settling.

You turned in his arms, tilting your face up to his. Austin was already looking at you.

“Best day ever?” he asked, voice teasing, fingers tracing gentle patterns along your back.

You smiled, looping your arms around his neck. “Best day ever.”

You looked at him, the fireworks reflecting in his eyes. It wasn’t just fun or nostalgic or sweet. It was important.

You weren’t just making memories. You were stepping into ones he’d carried with him his whole life. And now, you were part of them.

He grinned, but before he could speak, you tugged him down into a kiss. It was slow, unhurried, the kind that made everything else fade away. When you pulled back, his eyes stayed closed for a beat longer.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

“For what?”

“For sharing this with me.”

He kissed you again. “Always.”

You leaned in. “Making a wish?”

His lips quirked. “Maybe.”

You smiled, looking back up at the sky.

And made one too.

Neither of you said it out loud.

But you had a feeling they were the same.

And somehow, under that glowing sky with your hand in his, it didn’t feel like your first visit anymore.

It felt like coming home.

[cy-cyborg]

We have communities - Writing disability quick tips

So often, stories centred on disabled characters, especially in modern settings, emphasise how lonely or isolated the character is because of their disability, especially if it’s a newly acquired disability or one that non-disabled people assume would have a big impact on our ability to do “fun stuff”. This will often be accompanied by statements of “no-one understands what living with [insert disability here]” is like!

And while isolation and loneliness are things a lot of disabled people deal with, a lot of us are not completely alone either, especially in the modern day.

Just like any group of people with shared experiences, we find one another. Sometimes this is through formal systems; some spinal rehabilitation centres for example, will pair newly paralysed people up with a mentor who’s had a similar form of paralysis for much longer to help guide the person while the adjust to their new disability. Other more formal systems can look like disability sporting organisations - the one I used to work for used to specifically encourage very newly disabled people to join so they didn’t feel like the had to learn everything about their disability alone, or support groups.

Other times though, these communities are much less formal. They may look like online forums, such as the ones on Reddit, built by and for disabled people to talk about their experiences and seek recommendations from others in the same boat, or parts of larger social media sites. For example, on Tumblr, there aren’t really any formal groups, but thanks to the hashtags we use in our posts, we often find one another fairly quickly there. We sometimes also carve out our own little subsections of fandom or hobby spaces, brought together by the shared interest itself, how things like disability might impact the way you interpret or interact with it, and how we can modify it (in the case of hobbies) to make it work for us.

A lot of disability communities, formal or otherwise, also form out of necessity, such as advocacy groups run by and for disabled people, and those built around ensuring the rights of disabled people are protected.

Isolation and loneliness are problems within the disabled community that many of us deal with, but this tends to be more in the context of isolation from the wider public, exclusion from public spaces and events (despite there being laws that are supposed to stop this because they’re often not enforced), disconnect from non-disabled friends and family, etc, most of which are the result of systematic issues or the lack of understanding or care and support from non-disabled people in our lives. Not always, but often.

The communities made by and for disabled people though are often (at least in part) made to help make up for this, and they’re more common than you might think, you just have to know where to look. It would be nice to see more creators reflecting this in their work a bit more often, or at least acknowledging that they are there, even if your character chooses not to engage with them.

However, as a reminder to authors and creatives: These communities, especially the online ones, are for disabled people, they are not there for you to use as a reference as a creator. Some communities are ok with you being there to learn, so long as you listen and don’t try to speak over/bombard their members with questions. Others are not. The ones that are, typically will have something written somewhere if it’s online (e.g. subreddits that accept writers wanting to write disabled characters will often have it written in the “about” section or the rules). There are also dedicated groups and platforms for non-disabled people seeking to learn more about us and our communities, which can be excellent resources for creatives like writers. Just remember to be mindful of where you are and respectful of people’s spaces and boundaries when doing your research.

[maemelany]

RACING HEARTS - Part 2: MONACO I

Pairings: Lewis Hamilton x reader 

Summary: You and Lewis have been talking for a few weeks now, and he invited you to the Monaco GP. You can’t deny the attraction anymore. 

Warnings: smut – light but still smut 

Word count: 1.5k 

Series masterlist here

part 3 here

A/N: Part 1 of part 2 (I know it’s a mouthful) is here. It’s shorter, but since it’s divided into two parts, I thought it was okay to share it. I hope you’ll enjoy it. Let me know how you feel about it and if you want to be added to the tag list. 

Love, Mae. 

You were invited to the Cannes Festival. It was your third year attending, but this time, it felt different. 

The first time, you were scared to make a mistake or fail off the steps. The second time around, you were shocked to still be invited. You had more fun, but that feeling of not belonging was still present. This year, you were just having fun. You felt more confident, and you finally accepted that you deserved it. That your hard work was appreciated and that you belonged. 

It was also exciting because Cannes was not your final destination. You spent the first week there, climbing the stairs and attending a few parties for some sponsors, and then you were off to Monte-Carlo. 

You had not stopped talking to Lewis since the Miami race. It happened naturally, and you talked almost every day about anything and everything. 

You mentioned travelling to France for the Cannes Festival, and Lewis did not hesitate to ask if you would have time to come to his race. 

Of course, you said yes. You had to tweak some things in your schedule, but you could not deny to yourself that you were happy to see him again. 

You went from denying that something could happen to hoping something was indeed happening. 

You’d never been to Monte Carlo, so you enjoyed the view from the back of the car. It was night, so the city was shining, and the view did not disappoint. 

Monaco’s nightlife was known all over the world, but witnessing it was something else. It felt like everybody was out, having fun and wearing incredible outfits.  

Suddenly, you did not feel as overdressed as you first thought when you left your last event in Nice without changing to catch a helicopter to Monte-Carlo. 

When the car left you in front of the marina, you weren’t sure where to go. It was just a line of yachts, and you never asked Lewis where you were supposed to meet exactly. 

“Y/n!” 

You turned around, and there he was. You couldn’t help but smile as he approached you. He hugged you, and you embraced it without hesitation. He smelled so good. 

“I’m so glad you came. You look fantastic,” he said when he moved back 

“Thank you. You don’t look too bad yourself.” 

You weren’t lying. Lewis’s style was implacable and today was no exception. He smiled and extended his hand for you to hold it. You took it, your heart skipping another bit. 

“So, you said it was your first time in Monaco, right?” he asked you 

You nodded. “Yep. I never got the chance or the time to stop here. Plus, I don’t know anyone that lives here, and I don’t speak French.” 

“Now you do. I mean, my French is pretty bad, don’t get me wrong, but I’ll show you around.” 

You simply smiled, not sure what to say. Lewis then stopped in front of a beautiful, greyish yacht.

“I don’t know if you have a hotel room reserved, but we have rooms here if you want. I thought we could anchor out at sea for the night, and I’ll show you around the city tomorrow?” 

You thought about it for a few seconds. You did not have a room reserved, and you felt ashamed to admit it. You left Nice in a rush, and you were too busy during the past week to make arrangements. 

Lewis could see that you were spinning your wheels, so he guided you inside. 

“Let me show you around,” he said 

He showed you the yacht's common spaces. You could tell that he was passionate about it as he talked about how fast it could go and the updates they made to improve the boat.

You did not know much about boats, but his enthusiasm was contagious, and you found yourself asking questions. 

As the evening passed, you became more relaxed and even told him a few jokes about weird situations you found yourself in Cannes. 

There were also subtle touches. Lewis’s love language seemed to be physical touch, as he started to touch your arm distractedly as you two talked. 

“Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?” he asked you again after a peaceful blank in the conversation. 

You could feel your cheeks getting warm despite the fresh breeze on the upper deck. 

“You did, but I don’t mind you repeating yourself.” 

Lewis smiled.“Well, you look beautiful. And you smell amazing; what is it?” 

You opened your mouth, ready to share your perfume’s name, but he stopped you. “Let me try and guess it.” 

Before you could add something, he got closer. You could hear him breathe as his face got closer to your neck. 

“I’m going to say… there’s bergamot in it?” 

“Nope… try again” you whispered 

He got closer, his lips almost touching your neck now. 

“Vanilla?” 

You chuckled. “How do you go from bergamot to vanilla? They’re like, totally opposite.” 

“Hmm…” he said, now leaving tiny kisses on your neck 

You closed your eyes. It felt good. “Try one more time.” 

You could feel him grinning. You knew he would not guess it, but you didn’t want him to pull away.

“What do I get if I guess it?” he asked. 

Your smile broadened. There was no way he was going to guess it. “Anything you want” 

Lewis froze for a second but did not pull away. “Anything? That’s a big bet.” 

“Something’s telling me I’ll win anyway,” you said, your heart beating faster. 

He kissed your neck one more time; this time, you couldn’t help a small moan to escape your mouth.

“It’s musk. And there’s also a bit of Amber. Spices too” 

It was your turn to freeze. You opened your eyes and pulled away from him. The shock must have been plastered on your face because Lewis burst out laughing. 

“I guess I won,” he said when he calmed down 

 “How did you… you said bergamot first!” you asked, still in shock 

His mischievous smile you were growing to love was on. “How about I get my prize, and then I tell you my secret?” 

You almost forgot about that. You did say he could have anything he wanted if he guessed it right. 

“Okay, what do you want?” 

“How about I show you?” he said. “Come here.” 

The tone of his voice left no room for hesitation. You found yourself getting closer until your knees were touching. He was looking at you; everything you needed to know about how he felt or what he wanted was pretty clear. 

“Stop me if you don’t want it, but I’m about to kiss you. And I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop.” 

You opened your mouth and then closed it. Nobody had ever been so direct to you. 

“I want it,” you whispered. 

He softly touched your face, and you closed your eyes. You could feel his soft touch on your cheek, and then he stopped at your mouth, opening it with two fingers. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. 

You smiled, but it didn’t last, as you gasped right after. Lewis was kissing your neck again, but this time, it wasn’t soft kisses. You could feel the butterfly migrating to your stomach and then even lower.

“Lewis…” you whispered 

“Hmm?” he said, still giving attention to your neck.

“I…” you wanted more, but you couldn’t say it. Instead, you pushed your hands in his hair, pressing him closer. 

“I won, remember? I’m doing whatever I want, y/n.” 

His hands were everywhere. In your hair, on your face, your breasts. He was teasing you. You wanted him to kiss you. If you were honest with yourself, you wanted more than that. But he was taking his sweet time, working you until you couldn’t stop the moans from escaping your mouth. 

When he pressed your nipples harder, the thin fabric of your dress not posing any blockage, you lost it. You grabbed him closer as you could feel yourself getting closer. 

“Fuck…” he whispered and then made you climb his lap. 

You were still catching your breath when he pulled you up. You were now on his lap, feeling his erection between you. 

“Kiss me,” he said, looking at you. 

You did not hesitate and kissed him. It felt like home. Like you’ve been kissing for ages. It was soft at first but then got more intense as he pressed you closer to him. 

You started to move, straddling his lap as the kiss got deeper. You gasped when he pushed his hand between your thighs, under your dress. Without hesitating, Lewis parted your panties and plunged a finger into you. 

“Oh my god,” you whispered 

“Not him, all me,” he chuckled. “Say it, love.” 

“Lewis,” you moaned his name, gasping against his mouth when he added another finger. 

“That’s it, love, come for me.” 

It felt like it was all you were waiting for, him asking you to come. You curled your toes inside your high heels, squeezed your legs as much as you could and came. 

“Oh my god,” you managed to say in a shaky breath. 

Lewis smiled, softly kissing your temple. You stayed like that for what felt like forever, enjoying the breeze and Lewis caressing your back. 

“I’m taking it you’re staying the night,” he finally said 

You chuckled. You were staying. In fact, you didn’t just stay that night; you stayed the entire week. 

Tag list:

@carelessreadersstuff

[thesirencult]

Messages For The Divine Feminine 222

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Dear Divine Feminines,

I've never felt called before to share this kind of message as I was always skeptical abaout collective messages and saw them as nonsense. This evening though, while doing a personal tarot reading I felt the energy of two important Divine Feminine archetypes: Aphrodite and Cleopatra.

As I was wrapping up my reading I felt called to share some messages with fellow Divine Feminines on their journey to ascension and spiritual fulfillment.

Think about tomorrow as the first day of a new life. If you want to welcome the new you have to let go of old stories and negative beliefs who are holding you back from reaching your true potential. New perspectives are opening up and the truth is available for you to uncover.

You've strayed away from your path and got carried away by attaching yourself to your current situation. You forgot that your goal should be manifesting your heart's desires and not getting stuck on emotional rollercoasters. You hold the reigns. Detaching from the situation doesn't mean letting go of a beautiful vision of the finale, it means not paying attention to the immediate responses of your environment. Also have this in mind when it comes to your relationship with your destined Divine Masculine.

You are choosing yourself now. You are choosing your own vision of a better future. You're crafting the grand finale! Remember, you are currently living in the energy you seeded yesterday, so if you want a better tomorrow start with "good seeds" now. Congratulations, you have cut the cord and cracked the code of what manifestation and alignment means. Don't destroy tomorrows dreams by analyzing them from the viewpoint of yestarday's broken thoughts. You are more powerful than that.

Hoarding won't bring you results. On the contrary, sharing yourself and your gifts with others and being generous with your time and energy will yield better results. This will help your energy flourish. Growing means being generous with the fruits of wisdom. Stop trying to "save yourself" from the future because it scares you, the future is much better than you think and you're just self-sabotazing. You are safe. This tower moment was needed because it is better to build on solid foundation. Goddess wants you to know that your Divine Masculine is also undergoing the same process. No, when I'm saying Divine Masculine I'm not talking about the dusty next door, but about your true pure soul connection, the one that demands growth and love from you, not hate, frustration and games. These are low vibrational connections. Games won't work when it comes to soulful connections. Drop the mask and share yourself bare... Step into the mindset of abundance. You're enough, you are safe and you have enough love to be vulnerable with it.

When it comes to your love life, you're currently learning to believe in love. You are in the energy of manifestation, mid-manifesting. You next connection will be a soul connection. You're NEW to this, cut yourself some slack. Focus on how you can grow and prepare for them. Your person will love the fact you're both learning how to love eachother properly, they won't make fun of your eager nature or you trying to do better, they ar eon the same boat.

Think about what YOU want, feel it and give it a shape. Create the mold and the Goddess will fill it in. Do not try to fit the clay in the mold. Even if you are in a relationship with your true soul connection know that he is and he becomes the product of your manifestation. Create the mold. Create the mold and they will follow. The situation holds lots of potential to grow into something beautiful-if you let it unfold. Roses bloom when the time is right, the moon holds different shapes each night, time runs in circles and cycles, cosmic timing...

Trust. Time, faith and belief are the solutions to your problems. How can the seed of love grow inside you? How are you going to water it? Are you even watering it my gorgeous Divine Feminine? Work your way up and let yourself grow into the ideal state of love. Let your vision of love adapt and change.

In a pure soul connection each one builds on the work of the other. A sacred entaglement of two equals with a common goal. Both alternate between leading and being lead. Swaying in the dance of mutually beneficial promises. If you want your love life to heal, seek to be helpful, seak to lead spiritually. Together you will bring to life something much greater than what you would create alone.

My Divine Feminine, let go of your doubts, accept yourself as a whole, mind-body and soul and water your potential.

[kanmom51]

Are you sure? Jeju - Episode 4

The Pool

Honey's I'm back. Been to the edge of Australia, literally, and back.

Finally watched the episode, and oh boy, there is so much to break down, isn't there.

I won't lie, I've seen so much talk about EVERYTHING here on Tumblr and on X, and I really am joining this party super late. But I will be posting here for the fun of it, cause it's never enough, right? And also maybe I can bring some of the moments together, for points to be made, Idk. I just hope I can manage to get some posts done before the next episode drops, cause there is really so much to unravel here.

Out of everything that went down I thought I'd start with JM and JK's pool party fest.

They return from dinner, where they let Tae know he's a guest on THEIR show once again (and I mention this just because those two just don't stop reminding us and him of said fact, lol) and decide to go into the pool to cool down.

JK looked like he needed a bit of cooling down when JM was undressing next to him.

It was just the two of them, Tae not joining.

JK is in first and JM following, entering and moving towards JK with a LOOK on his face. A LOOK that had JK finding the need to remind JM that the pool wall was glass and see through.

There is no way under the sun that JM's intentions were pure at this moment.

NO WAY!!!

JK knew it.

You gotta be daft not to see it, especially with that man's reaction to JK's comment.

And it's funny, cause it's not like JM didn't see that glass pool wall before. It was just JK's need to remind him off it that makes it so much clearer he was up to no good, lol.

Did you notice how the footage cuts at that moment? I guess we are already used to these cuts, right? There are PLENTY of them in this episode as well. Don't get me started on the before shower, during shower and after shower that night, lol.

Right after that cut we go into Jikook playful mode.

We don't know just how much time they spent in that pool, but we got close to 4 minutes of it. Clearly they were there for some time, we got to see some highlights. The PG version of them playing around in the pool.

It amazes me every time when I see just how in sync those two are with each other. And we got to see it here as well. I mean, we saw it right through the episode. Remember in part 2 of my Jikook in bed (AYS CT) when I mentioned JK was just being with JM when he was just resting his head on JM's thigh? Well, I believe that word is so appropriate for this episode as well.

BEING

Just the two of them.

Even with Tae there with them, it was just them being with each other. With the mundane and everyday stuff.

It's the checking in on each other (for example when JK was getting excited over the food in the Japanese restaurant and JM checks in on him, or when he hits his fist on the table in the chicken restaurant and again, JM checking in on him, or JK just rubbing JM's thigh in the restaurant in episode 3 knowing he's not feeling the best).

It's the making joint decisions - what to eat, when to eat, what to do, when to go to sleep.

It's the calmness. Just calmness in their interactions.

It's them knowing what the other is feeling or meaning, at times without even speaking.

It's them playing around with each other when others don't even understand what's going on (Tae on the boat not getting their playfulness or sense of humor).

It's their constant hyping each other up or complimenting each other.

It's them finding solace in each other.

It's them cuddling watching the sunset.

It's them finding figures in the clouds and drawing them.

It's them hugging while snorkeling.

It's them seeking each other out while snorkeling, wanting to share the experience with the other, share the fun.

It's them sharing their solo music and choreo with each other before it comes out. Spending their time talking about each other's singing and dancing.

It's them being super flirty and talking with underlying innuendos through out their conversations.

It's them just BEING with each other.

I will most likely be writing much more about this, probably small posts with these special moments, but I just had to mention this here as well. Because this here, their time in the pool, was one of those moments as well.

They just click.

And it's so damn loud just how special they are with each other, how different they are with each other.

Saying that is not about diminishing what they have with the other members, because we all know just how close they are with each other, all 7 of them. They are bandmates, they are good friends, they love each other. But let's be realistic here, with all of that, the level of their friendships, the depth of their relationships with each and every one of the other members varies. it's just how it is. Real life, you know. And saying that JM and JK's connection is different and showing how it's different does not diminish from their connections with the others, it just highlights THEM.

And as such, I don't cower away from making these comparisons, because they are part of what screams that the two are a couple. There are things you do with your significant other you don't with your good friend. There are ways you behave with said significant other that you won't with your good friend. There are things you will allow your significant other do to you, do with you, that you won't allow with a good friend. It's the way you communicate with your significant other, things you say, things you don't say, things you don't need to say, tones you use, all of which you don't do with a friend, no matter how good of a friend they are. That's life. No reason to shy away from that just because there are some people that will take it the wrong way.

JM and JK in the pool was just that.

When you know you know.

They were playing games with each other.

Btw, I'm gonna say it even though you have all probably noticed this already, but JK, he doesn't push JM in that game. Not one time. And it reminds me of previous times they've done this.

More games.

then for Tae's benefit.

They were being playful with each other.

They were having fun with each other, just BEING.

Doing THEIR thing.

Jjust clicking.

Being absolutely the cutest EVER possible.

And they can't be Jikook without their signature "You are me I am you", right?

This whole sequence reminded me of the last time we got to catch their late night playfulness. You know, the whole mosquito net debacle, lol.

Only this time there was no alcohol involved and they fully aware of the cameras filming them, lol.

And before all those that happen to be lurking here waiting for me to say something to latch onto start celebrating "she said it", I say calm your farm, because NO SHE DID NOT. Them knowing the cameras are there and having fun TOGETHER, at times posing for the cameras, hence doing it for us to see, takes absolutely NOTHING from it being an authentic and spontaneous interaction.

I can't believe that I actually have to explain this.

Did I mention how many times those two reminded Tae and us that he's a guest on THEIR show?

"The guest is coming"...

"He must be bored and wanting attention"...

"He must be lonely..."

And this is for our benefit? Or their own, perhaps, lol.

"He's the guest... guests can comb their hair...guests should be pretty..."

And then the editors chime in as well.

I guess it was super important to drive this point right home just in case there were those that still didn't get it.

This show, it's JM and JK's. Period.

Tae = guest.

And he is sure going to be reminded of that by both of them throughout the trip. He is, and so are we.

And what about JK leaving the pool only to jump in again ("it's cold") to climb out again with JM?

Again, one of those "we do things together" of theirs.

All in all, the episode was friggin amazing. If there was anyone who for some reason (delusions, for one) thought that Tae being there with them will take away from us seeing just how JIKOOK those two were, or that JK would show his undying love for his husband and father of his children (🤮🤮) that sure was a hell of a rude awakening for them.

The interactions were as clear as day. And very telling. As per usual and as I had said in the past, if anything then JM is the axis with JK and Tae circling him, biding for his attention, JK knowing everything there is to know about JM while Tae needing to say just how much he knows JM. And if we're on the subject of Tae wanting to tell us just how much he knows JM, what we also got to see is just how much Tae and JK don't know about each other (Tae not knowing JK doesn't drink sweet drinks before eating or JK not knowing that Tae has been struggling with sleep lately), again, as a stark difference to JM and JK's abundance of it (JM knowing JK hadn't slept on the flight back prior to their trip, JM singing 3D).

I have so much more to say, but I'm going to stop right here, leave some more to talk about later.