#they stole my fucking wisdom tooth

[munst-r]

saving people, hunting things, the family business. you know. the hit show, supernatural.

[ericshoney]

Wisdom teeth ~ Brothers!Sturniolo Triplets

Summary: It's your turn to get your wisdom teeth removed, but luckily you have your brothers by your side.

Warnings: usual swearing and platonic pet names, blood, needles, crying

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today was the day. The day you finally get your wisdom teeth removed. You were very nervous about it and your brothers could tell. Nick, Matt and Chris were taking you to the dentist today and wanted to be supportive for you.

"It's gonna be alright, kid." Chris said, rubbing your shoulders as you were about to leave.

"I'm just scared. What if they cut my gum too much? Or take out the wrong teeth? Or it falls down my throat!" You rambled, the panic clear on your face.

"Hey, hey, none of that is going to happen, okay?" Matt reassured you, helping you calm down.

"Yeah, we've had our teeth out and now it's your turn." Nick said.

You nodded and soon it was time to go. You got in the back of the car alongside Nick, who held your hand gently. The guys made the agreement of not recording your wisdom teeth removal as you were already nervous enough.

Chris put on some of your favourite songs as you drove to the dentist, hoping it would ease you a bit. It did and you even laughed and joked with the trio, until Matt parked the car.

"Um, maybe we could just go home now." You said.

"Nope we're here, kid, time to go in." Nick replied.

You sighed and walked inside. You don't fully understand why your so scared, you've been to the dentist plenty of times in your sixteen years of life, but this felt worse, probably as you were going to be put to sleep.

Nick got you signed in as you sat. Your leg was bouncing slightly, Matt gently placed his hand on your knee to help you relax, whilst Chris showed you some funny TikTok's.

"Y/n Sturniolo." The nurse called.

"Come on kiddo, your up." Matt said, holding your hand.

You slowly walked behind Matt, his hand tightly holding yours for support, as Nick and Chris followed behind you both. You walked into the room and laid on the bed.

The guys spoke to the dentist as you watched the needle get put in your arm by the nurse, the small scratch making you frown.

"Can I keep them?" You suddenly asked.

"Your teeth?" Nick asked, making you nod.

"Probably not, kid." Chris answered.

"Aww." You said sadly.

After a bit, you started to feel sleepy, trying to keep your eyes open and listen to your brothers talk, but eventually you dozed off.

~~~~

When you woke up, you were four teeth short, and your mouth felt numb. You looked around and saw three identical people.

"Woah." You called.

"Hey sweetheart, how you feeling?" Matt called gently, rubbing your shoulder.

"Three." You muttered.

"Three?" He repeated, as you pointed to him, Nick and Chris.

"Yes kid, there's three of us." Chris said with a laugh.

"Nick, Matt and Chris." You then said, pointing to each of them.

"Good job, bub." Nick praised.

You giggled and looked around the room, but your mouth felt funny. You gently touched your lip and then your tongue.

"They stole my tongue!" You exclaimed as you couldn't feel it due to the numbness.

"No kid, it's there, your touching it!" Nick responded in a fit of giggles.

"Ooh." You replied.

You went silent for a bit, just looking around, before giggling loudly again and looking at your brothers.

"I just loveeeeeee you guys sooooo much!" You cheered.

"We love you too, sweetheart." Matt replied.

"My teeth!" You then shouted.

"Fuck you scared me." Chris replied, as you made him jump.

"Can I keep them?" You asked.

"No bub, they had to break them to get all the tooth out." Nick lied. Reality was you got to keep all four of your wisdom teeth and they were going to surprise you like they had done with Nick.

"Noooooo!" You cried, making them giggle.

After an hour you were finally allowed to go home. You were wheeled out in a chair and taken to the car, where Nick got in the back with you. Chris put on your music choice again as Matt drove home, the car fairly quiet for once as you fell in and out of sleep.

When you got home, you crashed on the sofa instantly and curled up. You had some pain killers before a nap and once you woke up, the guys decided to surprise you with your teeth.

"So kid, you know how we said you couldn't keep your teeth?" Chris said, making you nod.

"We lied." Nick said.

Matt then passed you the little container with your four wisdom teeth in. You smiled wide seeing them.

"Yay, thank you." You said.

"It's cool." Chris replied.

"You want some ice cream?" Matt asked.

"Yeah!" You cheered.

As nervous as you were to begin with, your now very happy to have your wisdom teeth removed.

[captainsplat]

i shouldve asked to keep the tooth

[thisisgonnafuxkinkillme]

My wisdom tooth surgery went perfect

I stole my teeth

Fuck the system

[taetaespeaches]

If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you just confessed to me

Namjoon x Reader

Word count: 1,596

a/n: Wow, I’ve posted three days in a row. Surely, this won’t last but I hope you’re all enjoying the posts :) This piece of Joonie fluff was just a tidbit self-serving. I hope you guys like it! And send requests! :) 

The sight in front of you was one to behold, truly.

Your best friend’s features were something you would never tire of looking at, especially when they were displaying such happiness. His smile lit up his whole face, causing his eyes to crinkle, the orbs disappearing beneath his eyelids. You thanked the universe, the stars, any sort of higher power there may be, and of course Mama and Papa Kim for gifting him with the dimples that graced his cheeks every time his lips curved upwards.

Whether he was flashing you his beautiful closed-mouth grin or his full-toothed beam, you appreciated the view every time.

Tonight, he was especially happy, which on most days would cause you to be on cloud-nine. Seeing the most important person in your life express such joy was a treasure to you, but tonight, it made you feel more conflicted than you already were heading into this dinner.

Normally, dinner with your best friend would be a time to discuss everything under the sun, from politics, to social issues, to the latest music on your playlists, to cartoons and books, and eventually to your own personal problems.

But that is where you didn’t want your conversation to go. Namjoon always gave excellent advice for any issue you were facing, and over the years of being friends, you had grown fond of his wisdom. However, he was so happy tonight, you didn’t want to put a damper on his good mood.

“You haven’t really touched your food,” Namjoon interrupted his own story when he noticed you pushing the noodles around your plate absentmindedly as you stared directly at is face, seemingly in another world. 

He had been excitedly talking about the recent happening with his group and his members, and you didn’t mean to zone out, but seeing his happiness plastered to his face just kind of stole your attention.

After a few beats, you realized he was no longer speaking and was instead looking at you expectantly. “Hm?” You responded with wide eyes, taken aback by his focus on you.

“Your food,” he gestured to your nearly full plate with a small chuckle, finding amusement in your sudden return to reality. “Does it taste ok?” His voice was light in tone, but his eyes were expressing concern. He was testing the waters before he outright asked what was going on with you, and you both knew that.

“Oh, yeah, it’s good,” you nodded, scooping up some noodles and shoving them into your mouth as proof. Flashing him a close-mouthed smile, you nodded your head. “Very good.”

“If you say so,” he laughed. “So, what’s been going on in your mind all night?” He questioned apprehensively.

Shrugging, you mumbled out a, “not much”. That couldn’t be further from the truth, as getting lost in Namjoon’s smile was the first time your mind took a break all night.

“Mm, then what were you so focused on just a minute ago?” He asked, working his way over your wall.

“I was just listening to your story,” you said, feigning honesty, which he obviously saw right through.

“No, you weren’t,” he laughed. “Which is ok, I’ve been talking all night. Not everything I say is important. I just want to know what’s been occupying your mind,” he chuckled again.

“I was just looking at you,” you said genuinely. “I like your smile.”

Namjoon’s hands came up to his mouth as a bashful smile appeared at your compliment. “Ok,” he nodded as he regained his composure. “Well, I like your smile too, but I haven’t really seen it a whole lot tonight,” he hinted as your eyes met his from across the table.

“Joon,” you quietly pleaded. “Please, can we not do this tonight?”

“Do what?” He watched as you dropped your gaze back down to your plate, avoiding the soft concern he expressed in his own orbs. “Hey,” he tried to pull your attention back to him as he ducked his head towards the table, trying to peer up at your face. “I don’t even know what we’re doing because you won’t talk to me.” Looking back at him, you chewed on your lower lip. “Let me help,” he whispered gently.

And that was it. As much as you wanted to save him from your little world of worries, you couldn’t help but spill everything that had been bothering you. The way his voice so genuinely expressed his desire to help knocked down any semblance of the wall you had put up.

“I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing with my life, Joon.” His gaze stayed set on your face as he studied the tension in your expressions, the tone of your voice, the emotion in your eyes. “I used to love my job, I was passionate about it. But now I wake up every single day, just dreading even the thought of having to go into that building.”

Reaching across the table, Namjoon set his hand in front of you, his palm facing upwards. You looked at it for a moment before placing your own hand into his. Namjoon’s fingers immediately wrapped around your hand, running his thumb soothingly against the back of it.

“I’m just going through the motions, and nothing is exciting anymore. I’m bored, and it’s scaring me that I don’t find enjoyment in it anymore.” The two of you stared at each other for a moment, both gathering your thoughts.

Sighing, Namjoon broke the silence. “Maybe it’s time to make a change,” he softly suggested. You began bouncing your leg up and down, desperately trying to get a hold of your emotions before they could come raining down your cheeks.

“Change is scary,” you whispered through a raspy voice, evidence of the emotions that were just barely hiding behind your withering composure.

“Not always,” he leaned forward as he gently spoke to you. “Sometimes change is exciting.”

“I feel so lost, Joonie,” your soft voice was barely audible as tears built up in your eyes. You let out a frustrated groan at the emotion.

“Y/n,” he said as he handed you a napkin from across the table. “Want to know something I’ve always admire about you?” You met his gaze as you waited for him to continue. “You’re strength. You’re so strong.”

You let out a mixture of a scoff and a short bitter laugh at his compliment. “I don’t feel very strong right now,” you said as you dabbed under your eye with the napkin.

“But you are. Your emotions aren’t a sign of weakness, y/n. You feel shitty, and that’s ok. Don’t hide from that. It’s ok to feel lost sometimes. It’s ok to be confused.” Looking at him, you let the words, which were spoken in a bit too loud of volume for the restaurant you were sitting in, sink in.

“What’s not ok is for you to stay in a position where you don’t enjoy what you’re doing. It’s not ok for someone as impassioned and determined as you to stay in a situation where you don’t feel anything. And I wish I could swoop in and fix everything for you, I really do, honey, but I can’t, and I also don’t need to. Do you have any idea how capable you are? You’re so strong. And brave. And I know change is scary, but if there’s anyone capable of making that change, even with all the uncertainty it brings, it’s you.”

With a small pout on your lips and tears dropping onto your cheeks, you squeezed his hand. “Joon…”

“You deserve to have a life that excites you and fascinates you,” he spoke more softly. “And I’ll be here with you, by your side, as you work towards that life. I know you, y/n. You’re going to build a life that is as beautiful and enchanting as you are. I’m just happy I get to be a part of it.” The expression on Namjoon’s face was so intensely passionate, but the look in his eyes was so gentle, it made your heart skip a beat.

“Wow, Joon,” you sniffled. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you just confessed to me,” you laughed softly while dabbing away the rest of your tears. Your comment broke through his intense demeanor, making him chuckle as he squeezed his eyes shut and a big close-mouthed smile graced his features, giving away how flustered he was. “Thank you. I needed to hear that.”

“You’re welcome,” he smiled, flashing those dimples once again. After a moment of comfortable silence, Namjoon spoke up again. “Hey, y/n.” Looking at him, you hummed in response. “What if I did?”

“What if you did what?”

“Confessed to you,” he spoke bluntly. Eyes widening, you could feel your skin heat up as it flushed with red. “Not saying that was a confession,” he backtracked nervously. “Just, what if I did?”

Smiling at his nervousness, you squeezed his hand again. “I think that would make me very happy,” you shyly grinned at your best friend.

“You think so?” He returned your shy smile.

You nodded, grinning sweetly at him. “Maybe you should try it sometime,” you shrugged.

His smile grew even bigger, his dimples deepening into his cheeks. Shaking his head with a quiet laugh, he looked down towards his lap to avert your gaze. You squeezed his hand again to bring his attention back to you. Looking at your hand in his, then at your face, he nodded his head, his smile just barely showing his teeth. “I’ll keep that in mind, honey.”

[whumpingwithirondad]

Tony is so-not a Dad

Do you want to see more posts like this? Comment down below!

So, this began when we were talking what we like and don’t like about fics. I could not cut this into parts so yeah, this is a bit long :D 

wordscorrupt

I love Peter calling tony mister stark or sir I don’t know I don’t try to get him to call him dad unless some requests it. There’s just something so endearing about it lol and I love the way he says it in the movies it’s adorable

irondadgroupie

Yes! I think Mr Stark is kind of an endearing nickname and usually when people call Tony it, the man is nonchalant but when Peter call him that...the boy has him wrapped around his finger.

I think if Peter thinks of the word Dad, he thinks of his biological father and traces of Ben and Tony. He is so confused so he refuses to call anyone Dad. Plus I think if Peter ever started calling Tony dad, the man would be terrified :D

wordscorrupt

tony's heart skips a few beats from excitement anytime he hears peter say his name. omg tony would be pulling out a cross if peter ever called him dad out of the blue. the only time i could understand is if hes delirious and tony would play along but otherwise tonys calling a priest bc his kid is possessed

irondadgroupie

That is a great idea! Like the enemy knows Tony and Peter are close, he is like a father to the boy so they if there is like a shape shifter as Peter who calls Tony dad, Tony immediately puts the thing into chokehold because his kid does not call him that.

wordscorrupt

omg just the mental image of that. it happens in front of happy or rhodey too and they are like WTF TONY DONT HURT THE BBY

irondadgroupie

But yeah, I like the idea of Peter being out of it, like has a high fever and is barely in the real world, then Tony would be like "Yes, Dad is here, kiddo." And when Peter gets better and hears about it he is so embarrassed.

irondadgroupie

I just had the though that if someone stole Peter's phone and tried to have a conversation with Tony (I don't know, maybe to humiliate Peter) and they wrote the word Dad, Tony is immediately going "Okay, who is this, why do you have my kid's phone?"

wordscorrupt

yesss exactly and tony just never mentions it too. he hears about from bruce or one of the other doctors that took care of him as well

irondadgroupie

Like Tony's motto is: "Yes, he is my kid but I am not his dad"

wordscorrupt

tonys like; yes i take care of him, provide for him, clothe him (too many iron dad pajamas to count), feed him (he eats me out of a house), protect him but im not his dad.

wordscorrupt

peter gets kidnapped by a group of people who think he's tony secret son or something and tony sends a text like "hey bud wondered what you wanted for dinner tonight we're ordering in" and one of the guys texts back "anythings good with me dad" and tony basically fucking smashes through the walls like ten seconds later

irondadgroupie

Yes! And others are like: "Tony, you are such a dad.""I am not, we don't share blood!" Like Tony pays for Peter's school (what the financial aid doesn't cover), makes sure he visits doctor and dentist regularly, keeps his schedule on his phone, buys him new shoes and jackets for winter (he hates Peter's style but the kid likes it so yeah, why not), helps him revise for exams (I can just imagine Tony driving and saying a verb Peter needs to conjugate )

irondadgroupie

Yes! They make sure the style of writing is similar, check few previous messages so they wouldn't be caught, they send the message and are like "yeah, now we can have fun" and ten seconds later a cannon blows up a wall and Tony flies in. "Pretty good job, fellas but you forgot one thing, I am not his dad!"

wordscorrupt

yes! domestic tony is my everything. he definitely pays for peter's school and donates to the programs/clubs that peter is involved in as well. helps him with his college essays and applications. tony got the best doctor and dentist for peter as well and calls in to make his appointments for him. one of tonys favorite pastimes is shopping for clothes for peter online and he always make s sure to throw in one of those dumb science joke shirts everytime. tony making sure that peter is getting his daily nutrition in becuase he was not gonna have the kid pass out on him again because he blood sugar was low.

peters just in the corner, mouth taped shut with duct tape and chained up and he just nods his head like 'duh'

irondadgroupie

Aww! The image of Tony in online shops and occasionally asking Pepper: "You think Peter would like that color?" "Tony, he has like 10 jackets already!" "He could do with a new one, he's a growing boy."

irondadgroupie

I don't think Tony makes the appointments until it is absolutely necessary. Like once Peter complains about neck ache and Tony says: "It might be wisdom tooth, I'll give you a number to a dentist. She works with enhanced individuals." Then he pesters Peter for weeks "Did you make the appointment yet?" But yeah, Peter's mind is like swiss cheese, he never remembers. One day Tony calls him "You have dentist today at 3, I'll pick you up from school." "Mr Stark, I can make my own appointments!" "Yeah, clearly."

wordscorrupt

tony stresses shops but instead of shopping for himself he shops for peter instead

i like to think the reason that peter doesn't make the appointments is because he hates going to the dentist/doctor so he thinks he can just lie about actually going

irondadgroupie

Tony is a trophy!wife inside. He buys Peter vitamins and when he is over, makes sure the boy eats a good breakfast (even if they are running late because you don't fucking skip breakfast!). But yeah, Peter is an idiot and if Tony is not there to remind him, Peter forgets to eat. Once Tony was on a week long business trip and when he came back, Peter fainted into a hug. Like Tony can't even remember how many times he had had to hold Peter's feet up because the boy felt dizzy after a work-out

irondadgroupie

Oh, why is the image of Peter being chained up so adorable? :D He watches as Tony captures the bad guys and then kneels next to him and rips of the tape. "Idiots," Peter calls to the bad guys as Tony just chuckles while working on the chains.

irondadgroupie

And Pepper returns like half the packages that arrive :D Otherwise Peter's room would have no space for the boy

irondadgroupie

Oh yeah, Peter afraid of dentists. Like the boy tries to get out of the appointment claiming he is not feeling well but Tony puts a hand to his forehead and goes "Yeah, sorry, kiddo, you are going." And then Tony guesses what the problem is "I hate dentists too. In my days, they were terrible, not gentle at all, left me with some deep rooted fears. But this lady is so nice and patient and if you are a good boy, she will give you a candy bar after you are done."

wordscorrupt

yes vitamins and protein shakes and everything else to keep peter from passing out every five minutes. loads his backpack with all kinds of snacks to keep him going throughout the day at school. oh my god the image of peter kind of just fainting into tony's arms when trying to go for a hug instead and tony just grabbing him like its not big deal. he knew the kid was going to forget about keeping his diet up.

wordscorrupt

pepper lets tony have the fun then has to return half the things for sure and tony buys so much he doesn't even remmember what he actually all got so he never catches on

wordscorrupt

peter just grumbles as tony bribes him into going to the dentist. thats the one thing tony is not above. he gets that peter hates going and tony doesn't blame him at all but he has to get the kid there one way or another

wordscorrupt

its great that the doctor tony chooses for him works at the compound which makes the most sense. peter is a terrible patient when he's sick or injured, trying to fight off the doctor and attach himself to tony instead. hes probably more terrible when he's alert and forced to go down for a checkup and just grumbling the entire time and glaring at tony for making him do this in the first place

irondadgroupie

Yeah, Tony orders a bunch of all kind of protein products, there are cardboard boxes of them in nearly every room, even in bathroom because one time Peter fainted when getting out of the bath and had Tony not heard the splash, the boy most certainly would have drowned.

irondadgroupie

Tony catches Peter like: "Wow, wow, buddy, let's get you lying down." And he sets the kid on the floor and pats his face while Pepper gets fruit juice. Yeah, opening the packages is like second Christmas. Tony is always surprised what he ordered :D I also think Tony spends time on online auctions, getting movie memorabilia and such for his boy

irondadgroupie

AWW Peter pouting and looking so adorable Tony takes a million pictures. The dentist is very understanding and explains beforehand each procedure. But Peter still grips the handles of the chair because he is nervous.

"You are doing so well, sweetie," the woman says and Peter relaxes a bit. "You have beautiful teeth, they need just a little cleaning up."

wordscorrupt

Peter nearly tears the leather from the chair from gripping it to hard. Tony eventually reaches out to hold one of his hands and Peter instantly relaxes

he thinks he's in the clear once his cleaning is done and he's helped up from the chair until the dentist says they need to talk about his x-rays and how it looks like his wisdom teeth are impacted

irondadgroupie

"Helped up from the chair" makes it sound like Peter suffered from a dizzy spell and had to lay down for a while. Happened to me after my wisdom teeth operation :D In Finland, we don't get anesthesia when taking out wisdom teeth (unless the person has severe fear or the operation is large), it's just pain killers and numbing the area with drugs

"It's so embarrassing," Peter muttered as he accepted the cup of water Tony offered.

irondadgroupie

I think Peter would be doing a stress test and the heart monitor goes crazy with something abnormal and the boy just collapses. Maybe his heart starts beating too fast and they have to use cardioversion

wordscorrupt

Oh man he’s terrified the entire time not knowing what’s going on. Is he dying??

irondadgroupie

Or maybe they are sparring and suddenly Peter gets out of breath and grabs his chest and collapses on the ground.

Tony is certain he killed the boy

wordscorrupt

Tony’s thinking Peter just fainted from stress but then why would he grab his chest. He’s asking Friday if 15 year olds can have heart attack’s at the same time he’s racing to the medbay with Peter in his arms

irondadgroupie

Just think of the surgery day, Tony might be more nervous than Peter because they need to stop the kid's heart to repair it

"Don't worry, I'll be okay," Peter tells him and May with a brave smile.

irondadgroupie

Yeah, Peter fainting from stress is common because he tended to run himself down. Tony had gotten very skilled in reviving the kid, usually pouring cold water on his face was enough. But now he debated whether chest compression were needed.

irondadgroupie

You know, one idea has been flying in my head. Peter's blood sugar dropping dangerously low that Tony has to feed him jam or something with lots of sugar to bring him back around. Like Peter would lie on his lap and Tony had to feed him the stuff with a spoon. Like with a diabetic patient, he rubs the jam to the boy's mouth, gums and under his tongue

wordscorrupt

oh lord tony thinking about the fact that peter could technically be dead while in the operating room. lets not even mention post surgery, where peter has a long scar down  his chest and has about a million tubes coming from his chest. ive seen patients in the cardiac icu and its freaking ridiculous how many machines and lines they are hooked up to.

yes tony trying to hold peter up at the same time trying to force (gently!) food down his throat to get his blood sugar back up and peters kind of just out of it

one time peter passes out on stage during a decathalon competition

irondadgroupie

Tony has to practically massage the boy

irondadgroupie

's throat to make him swallow the food and Peter just doesn't answer, just moans or mumbles when Tony shoves another spoonful of jam into his mouth.

Can you imagine Peter's blood sugar dropping during the night and Tony literally can't wake the kid up in the morning.

wordscorrupt

oh my god that would be terrifying. for a second he thinks the kid has died in his sleep but once he kind of gets his mind straight, he checks his pulse and he still has one

tony has to carry around of those machines that checks a persons blood sugar levels

irondadgroupie

Yes! It was during the last question. Tony was watching and he saw the signs that yeah, Peter is going down soon. But he was too far and couldn't get to the stage to catch the boy.

wordscorrupt

the entire audience gasps of course but then imagine their reaction when tony stark of all people is rushing up to the stage. peter hits his head pretty hard on the podium as well and by the time tony gets to him, he's bleeding from his headsterday a

irondadgroupie

Yeah, Peter's alarm went off several times and Tony finally comes to the room. "Kiddo," he shakes his shoulder. "Come on, up you get, you'll be late for school." But Peter just lies on the bed and he is completely limp. Tony nearly has a heart attack when the boy doesn't open his eyes. I can just imagine him starting to shake Peter's shoulders "This isn't funny, kid! Wake up!"

irondadgroupie

Oh, Peter definitely hits his head. Tony immediately kneels beside the boy. "Peter," he taps his face. "Hey, kiddo, wake up!" But the boy doesn't react and Tony take of his jacket to press it against the wound

wordscorrupt

Tony rushes peter down To the medbay because while peter still has a pulse he’s not waking up. Bruce is there as tony runs in a wild look on his face

Tony demands that they bring down the curtains on stage to give them privacy and then starts ordering people around one of them to grab any kind of sugary food they can find

irondadgroupie

Bruce takes Peter's blood pressure and checks sugar levels and immediately starts setting an IV. "He is fine, Tony, it's just his metabolism screwing with him again." He gives Peter a shot of glucose (the kind they use to treat diabetes patients or people who have alcohol poisoning) and it doesn't take long until Peter is opening his eyes, still loopy and confused why Tony immediately smothers him into a hug.

irondadgroupie

"Don't worry, he is okay, this happens all the time," Tony says and lifts Peter's eyelid to check his pupils. He quickly checked the boy's neck for possible breaks and when he deems it safe, moves Pete's head a bit so that airways stay open. "He just needs something sugary to drink and eat."

irondadgroupie

"I have this," A girl from the opposing team offered a bag of fruit shaped candy that was coated in sugar. Tony smiled: "That is just perfect." Tony crouches lower and opens the boy's mouth until he can place one piece in there.

irondadgroupie

But honestly, since Peter has a head injury, the more realistic alternative is that they bring a cold compress to hold on his forehead

[incorrectmidc]

Leo: What happened to me?

Alyn: You got your wisdom tooth out.

Leo: *cries*

Alyn: What the fuck?

Leo: They took my wisdom, Alyn! How can I get it back?! They stole it from me! I’m not gonna be wise anymore.

[xjelani-archive-blog]

MUN  ABC’s.  repost, don’t reblog.

tagged by: i stole it from @starberrykinder​ tagging: sTEAL IT FROM ME

A    —    AGE : 21 B    —    BIRTHPLACE : i think it was montreal  C    —    CURRENT  TIME : 3:40pm D    —    DRINK  YOU  HAD  LAST : watta E    —    EASIEST  PERSON ( S )  TO  TALK  TO : hMMMM. i guess myself F    —    FAVOURITE  SONG ( S ) : atm? prolly Motiv8 - J. Cole G    —    GHOSTS ;    ARE  THEY  REAL ?: Ye H    —    HORROR  YES ,   OR  HORROR  NO ?: HORROR YES!!!!! I    —    IN  LOVE  ? Nope J    —    JEALOUS  OF  PEOPLE ? Nope, K    —    KILLED  SOMEONE ? only the game L    —    LOVE  AT  FIRST  SIGHT ,   OR  SHOULD  I  WALK  BY  AGAIN? False M    —    MIDDLE  NAME ( S ) :  My name confuses me at this point so imma jus leave that blank N    —    NUMBER  OF  SIBLINGS : just one and he stinky O    —    ONE  WISH : HM. that my family continues to stay safe and healthy P    —    PERSON  YOU  LAST  CALLED   /   TEXTED : My friendo; she called to angry rant on the phone dkgfjkhkg Q    —    QUESTION  YOU’RE  ALWAYS  ASKED :  “What are you” prolly R    —    REASONS  TO  SMILE : THE FACT THAT IT’S A NEW DAY.  New favorite songs. My pets. My friends, both irl and online. A full fridge. Getting things done on time; that feeling of accomplishment. Paychecks. My mom’s laughter. My friends finding comfort in me. My friends??? ranting about shit they love?? Shitty jokes makes me smile. Getting LIT with my friends. Doing my makeup and feeling cute. Warm, windy days. Chocolate. Finding new interests. Writing, drawing. Doing well at something I put the hard work into. Traveling. Connecting with new people. SLEEPING. Early morning walks with my dog. I’m corny as hell yall. S    —    SONG  YOU  SANG  LAST : Crew - Goldlink ft. Brent Faiyaz, Shy Glizzy  T    —    TOP  THREE  FICTIONAL  CHARACTERS : Izaya Orihara, i’ll always be a hoe. Aidou Hanabusa, i dare u to come for me, aND..... NORMA BATES from B/ates Motel. V    —    VACATION : Oooo. I’m planning to possibly go to T/aiwan next year with my friendo?? But also I’d really like to visit Cali for once too W    —    WHEN’S  YOUR  BIRTHDAY ? April 30 X    —    X - RAYS : ??? I mean I got one of my wisdom tooth like two months ago or smth Y    —    YOUR  FAVOURITE  FOOD : UUUUUU THIS HARD. fried plantains, soursop, naan bread with bananas, fuck uhhh. anything really with chicken??? QUESILLO. burgers, cheese pie, hhhghhgh this is hard i have so many Z    —    ZODIAC  SIGN : Taurus 👅👅

[wisdoms93-blog]

Make sure they do not keep your teeth for behold they might love death more than me and it forbiden for them to do so you go love the dead fakers get it that belong to me cathlics are cry sneaky as known so do p , do religious wrongs with them as they three baby that they stole form me and then behold a forth it wrong I not get my babies and look fuck toothe fairy look them art mine demons you say to that dentist and if he Cathlic say no doing religious thins with my baby teeth and my wisdom teeth you theives you repay me or I will make you pay! Take this key to heaven!

On a scale of 1 to 10, how rude and/or weird would it be to do hand embroidery in the waiting room of a dentist’s office? Honest question.

[nickymakesmemad-blog]

Show Me Your Teeth

My infatuation with teeth began at an early age when I found a mess of them strewn across the bottom of my mom’s jewelry drawer. Is that what pearls were made of? My mom didn’t own any pearls, so maybe this was her grand scheme to finally have some of her own. I could see her, showing up to First Baptist, with a shiny new necklace adorning her Sunday outfit and the preacher’s wife would say, “Oh, Terri! I love your pearls.” My mom would look down as if she had simply forgotten what she was wearing because this outfit was put together effortlessly and she would smile, revealing only gums where her teeth had once been, and lisp, “Thank you, Mitheth Harlow.”

The teeth, however, turned out to be mine. And my sister’s. My brother’s would have been in there too had he been old enough to grow any, let alone lose some. I was disgusted. Not only had I been insulted by a gargantuan lie—a conspiracy, if you will!—but my teeth were mindlessly mixed in with my sister’s. By my logic, it seemed just as if my sister and I had French kissed, which was revolting more because of my homosexuality than the incestuous nature of the act. Laying amongst the others in the Island of Misfit Teeth was my silver tooth, the crown I had been given on my first (and only!) cavity. I was repulsed. A tooth shouldn’t look like that. I didn’t have to think about it when it was in my mouth and all the way in the back. Is this what my life would become if I didn’t take care of my teeth? Would they all fall out and soon I’d have to hide them from the gestapo in a drawer along with my other valuables? I wouldn’t let that happen. My sister could do whatever the hell she wanted, but not me. That drawer would never again see a tooth of mine. They would all stay in my mouth. The importance of this was paramount. Of course, this was before I knew about wisdom teeth. 

But before I had my wisdom teeth removed (a traumatic experience!), was the Duquoin State Fair. Not much noteworthy happens in Southern Illinois except, of course, for the State Fair. Illinois’s best and worst all make an appearance at the Fair, to do otherwise would be treasonous and subject you to a full year of “oh y’all really shoulda seen the fair this year, they had fried Snickers...who knows if they’ll be back next year. Might’ve missed your chance.” Women would show up to the fair mere moments after giving birth, vagina still ripped apart. Coincidently, that’s how non-mothers also left the Tilt-A-Whirl and the east parking lot port-a-potty. 

The Fair was always fun, because there was always drama. Someone would be seen with a woman who wasn’t their wife at the race track. Or someone would throw up on their date on a ride. Or someone would win a grand prize, bringing pride and joy to their entire town. I didn’t know it, but I would be this person. I didn’t plan to bring my town glory, but was I surprised when I did? Absolutely not. 

My mom and I were walking around the craft barn where people from around the state brought their woven baskets, murals, and quilts for non-AIDS purposes to be scrutinized and judged mainly by strangers but also by certified judges. At the center of the barn was a stage, so I was naturally intrigued. Though it had never happened and there was never anything to imply that it would ever happen, I was always convinced that this would finally be the year that Dolly Parton showed up. We had a Mountain Dew distributor, so in my mind, it was only a matter of time. 

My mom saw the sparkle in my eye and took me to the stage to see what was happening. “Boys Smile Contest” read a banner. A smile contest? What does that mean? “You should sign your boy up. Let’s see that smile, baby!” cooed an elderly woman in a lavender cardigan. The color of her sweater already won me her trust, but I was still skeptical of this stranger. I imagined this was a ploy to enlist pretty boys with nice teeth into the back of the barn where our teeth would be removed, sold for money, and then we’d be sewn together à la Human Centipede and we’d have to compete against a prize-winning pig to find truffles. My mom insisted that I show her my smile; after all, I didn’t have any cavities anymore. I knew exactly what to do. I looked down at the ground (a power move to feign modesty) and then I flashed it. My best, beautiful, boyish, charming twelve year old smile. “I’m signing you up, sugar!”

It was real now. My first beauty competition. Looking back, I had spent my entire life preparing for this moment. I had been perfecting my American Idol sob story since before I could walk (it involved the Taliban, but is too nuanced to be fully detailed in this humble post). I nervously paced backstage next to the canned salsas that were also up for judgement and made exclusively by white Midwestern women. My mom was on the phone with grandma urging her to get to Barn F immediately. It seemed, however, that a girl from her church was trampled at the goat corral and she was held up for the time being. I didn’t have my support group, but I had my mom and that would have to do. 

Should I take a step forward? Should I do a wave? Should I sing? I can sign so that would probably help; show the judges I know how to put my teeth into practice as well as keep them visibly pretty. Maybe I should keep it simple? We’re southern adjacent. Maybe I should toast the audience with a glass of sweet tea and really play in the demographic. I didn’t have time to come up with any choreography and the craft barn was devastatingly devoid of batons, so I would have to go up without props. 

“Boys age 7 to 12 on stage for this year’s DuQuoin State Fair Boys Smile Contest!” Shit on my dick, I would have thought had I had the vocabulary. Although the following summer at Catholic camp, I would be introduced to the word “queef”. I wasn’t prepared, but neither was Dolly when Jolene stole her man. I briefly said a prayer to both God and Jesus (because they couldn’t prevent 9/11, but maybe they had some sway over this) and made my way onstage. 

It was me and two other boys, both of whom were on the younger side of the seven to twelve age range. Both were missing teeth and it was fucking adorable. I was livid, but I couldn’t give up. I would just have to be better. The announcer stated the first boy’s name and he waved at the crowd. That was my move. I was pissed. But the fucking idiot was so young and so stupid that he forgot to smile. The crowd loved it. Then it was the second boy’s turn. He was wearing overalls, which would definitely score him points for matching the fair aesthetic. I shit bricks when I saw he was missing both his front teeth. The crown went fucking wild. Here he was stealing my thunder when he should have met his match with a coat hanger in utero. 

Then my name was announced. I wasn’t prepared. I wasn’t in costume like the other boy. I wasn’t adorably missing any teeth and that first motherfucker stole my wave. For a moment, a mere moment that felt like an eternity, I stood like an idiot. Then (and I truly believe it was divine intervention that caused me to do this) I took a step forward. That was it. Neither of those cocksuckers had bothered to step forward literally putting me ahead of them and separating me from the crowd. I smiled. I LAUGHED. And then I went back into my smile, but never fulling touching my top and bottom teeth, keeping my mouth just a little open to suggest to my fans that I was so jovial and so charming that I could burst into another laugh at any moment. The crowd loved it. And I knew I couldn’t stop there. I leaned to my right to give that side of the audience a good look. They exploded. I leaned to my left (the side with my dimple). They lost it. I hesitated as I considered which song I should burst into. But God gave me another idea. A spin. One glorious, one hundred eighty degree spin followed by a STUNNING over the shoulder look followed by a laugh at the audience because those people are fun. I waved to signal the conclusion of my act and stepped back into line with my competitors. Being gorgeous is fun. 

I stepped off the stage with a stuffed cow that had a big red plaque that said “Boys Smile Contest Winner DuQuoin State Fair”. It wasn’t American Idol, but I had to start somewhere. My mom ran up and hugged me and one of the judges snapped our picture. We all laughed when he told us to smile. Some of us more beautifully than others. I’m referring to myself there. It was my smile that was the most beautiful and I had a cow to prove it. My mom kept her hands on my shoulders and paraded me through the barn and towards the exit so we could find my dad. “Well that’s an awfully cool cow!” a vendor shouted. “Think your mom should look at my jewelry” and she motioned to what were obviously fake pearl earrings. 

“He just won the smile contest,” my mom informed her, “show her, Jacob!” Like my mom picked out her church clothes, I flashed my smile effortlessly. The vendor gasped at my pearly-whites and then motioned to her jewelry after she recovered. My mom politely declined interest with a nod and kept walking. She had something else to brag about in church that Sunday. 

[buffwizardjocks]

my jaw hurts due to the fucking dumbass wisdom tooth I have growing in sideways, I’m depressed, unemployed, directionless, fucked up in so many ways, eternally bitter and angry and you are all coming in here and telling me that Homecoming wasn’t a bad Spider-Man movie that isn’t even truly about responsibility at all, they stole like 90% of Miles’ narrative and gave it to Peter (but still had his criminal uncle except now he’s “street level” and called a criminal repeatedly by Peter and oh he’s played by Donald Glover aka the dude who got death threats for even being considered to play a black Peter Parker ha HA), literally none of the female characters really had a real role in the story (”Michelle Jones” was barely in it what the fuck) except Aunt May’s role as being the most Desired Woman In All Of New York (I’m still so uncomfortable about this), and the Vulture tried to teach Peter about classicism IT WASN’T GOOD OK I’M TIRED I KNOW THIS POST IS BITTER I KNOW I HATE FUN BUT IT WASN’T GOOD!!!!!!