#they slept together [non sexually] in high school a lot

[numelfanclub]

resau :^)

[fictionkinfessions]

I'm gonna lose my mind. Was playing a video game that does crossover skins pretty often. One of them is with an anime I've never seen. Encountered someone using a kinda uncommon character skin for the first time and immediately just *knew* I Have Slept With That Man. It wasn't like I was fantasizing, it wasn't even a memory of a specific moment, just like a plain fact, like a more intimate version of when you encounter someone irl that you went to high school with or something.

Thought about him some more and was able to remember more, including non-sexual stuff, like. I think we were sorta frenemies-with-benefits, for a loooong time like I think at least a few years, maybe on-and-off. I acted like he annoyed me but that was only sometimes true. And I remember being in danger together a lot, and being in a dim alleyway trying not to be seen, we were next to each other and our backs were against the wall and he'd thrown his arm across my chest as if he was protecting me sorta even though he was much shorter than me.

I remembered all of this before I even learned the character's name, or what any of the plot of the thing he's from is. Much less anything about who I could be in this context. I've done more research now about the story, and I have theories now, and it's freaking me out how much things match up. Even little things (heh) like his height, the video game characters are all the same size, how did I know he was short? But I'm not so sure I even want to get into the anime/manga bc the character that's most likely to be me based on the context of what I remembered is. Not someone who's having a very good time or seems very pleasant to be around, so do I really want to remember more?

frog

[katsuki-goodness]

Alone Without You

Part 1, Part 2

Warning // Strong language and sexual themes ahead (There may be none but just making sure since the rest of the story will have these themes). Read at your own discretion.

Pairing: Kirishima x f!reader, School!AU, College!AU

Count: 1,500 words (or so)

Summary: He was a loving guy in high school, non-changing, cheerful. The years passed and he shifted to a guy who partied, slept with any girl he found attractive, and drank like a maniac. You stayed the same, wishing for your friend to come back.

Funny enough, you weren't much of a shy girl and you also weren't the most noticeable, your hair barely standing out among the other girls in the class. You thought of yourself as pretty average but your friend, who you called shark boy, had his own opinion, calling you his beautiful friend who just so happens to be a badass at playing music. It stung, for sure, but you were friends with him. Maybe he didn't think of you in that way, but your heart didn't change how you felt about him.

Kirishima had always been a good guy who deserved the best, and no one could change your mind. It might be a little far fetched to say that, but he had been there for you many times even if it wasn't all the time. You understood someone can't be there all the time because no one was perfect in this world. We aren't heroes who can be there in three seconds when asked. He didn't do wrong in your eyes and you knew that was a dangerous way of thinking.

"Wow, she is amazing," He had told you. He was looking at a girl who he had known from a previous class, and who he only talked to a few times due to a paper deadline he so happen to have forgotten about. She was kind enough to help him at last minute and that way he was able to get a C for the class.

"I heard about the millionth time, Kiri," You exclaimed with a slight eye shift to the side. You two were in a physical education class together while another P.E. class was doing their runs.

"I really can't help it! Just look at her!" You both stared towards the girl who was running alone, fit and very pretty, you had thought. She didn't seem to stand out a lot either but she was what you called a "hidden beauty" and Kirishima noticed it. She came across very classy, looking like the best friend of any guy who actually liked her.

You were sure you heard your red head friend say something under his breath, but to not get yourself worked up and tease him, you ignored it. You didn’t even acknowledge his cursing when she turned towards Kirishima’s direction, smiling and waving to him as he did the same, sighing like the love struck boy he was.

“I want to ask her out,” He exclaimed. “Maybe if I ask her at the end of the day, and I get her like a small gift, then she might say yes.” Since you were looking the other way, you rolled your eyes. You weren’t too involved with this conversation and you chose to ignore him as he continued on about her. In reality, it wasn’t his fault but you couldn’t stop yourself to feel this way when he just throws it out there for you to judge. It’s like he wanted you to feel some type of way. You weren’t happy about this topic but you also couldn’t be petty about it. What else can you say to it.

“Y/n? You aren’t paying attention again, huh?” You gazed over just in time for him to show his puppy eyes to you, but it quickly disappeared when he began to chuckle at you, feeling as if he was mocking you for being jealous. Who could have known that this guy, who you were friends with, was the guy who you ended up liking. He was… so handsome and so charismatic, it was just crazy to think he was your friend.

“Sorry, you blabbered on about her that I couldn’t help but doze off,” You exclaimed to him only to have his arm around your shoulder, his smile lingering as he looked at you.

“That hurts my feelings, Y/n. Considering that I always help you with guy advice, and I still don’t know who this mystery guy is.”

“You won’t find out. I just want to have the advice of a guy so if I so happen to go with it, I can use it to my advantage. Right now, I have no chance with the guy so I rather keep it to myself.” There was silence on his end, making it awkward for him to even say anything nice to you, but good thing he didn't have to because the girl he had been crushing on had begun to walk towards you two. You felt sweat forming on the palms of your hands, feeling your heart quickly skip a beat as you heard her say hi to Kirishima.

"Hey, I see you are slacking off again," She joked, her smile bright and somehow sweet. It made you sad but it also made you notice that she seem like a nice girl. It made you want to cry because how were you suppose to compete with her? You did tell Kirishima you weren’t going to say anything, but without a reason and you knew that the more you kept to yourself, the harder it would be to keep together. She was talking to him, ignoring you but it felt more like her being shy. You didn’t want to interrupt her conversation with your friend.

“Hey Kiri, I’m going to the restroom,” You said, your attempt to get away from the light flirting and the feeling of pressure in your chest.

“Oh, wait, Y/N. Remember we have to meet after school,” He said to you as you walked away. You felt a slight smile cross your cheeks, and you looked back.

“I’m just going to the bathroom, but yeah, I didn’t forget.” You walked away, the tint on your cheeks noticeable to whoever decided to look your way, but you were glad you got the bathroom without a hitch. You had realized that your time in the bathroom was interrupted by a loud ring of the school bell, realizing you left class earlier than you should have but since you were in the locker room, it wasn’t too difficult to hide from the teacher’s sight. After running into the crowd of girls, you changed quickly into your school uniform, looking around for the teacher just in case they decided to pop out and scold you for leaving class early. In the time it took you to change, you noticed Kirishima’s friend changing in the distance, making it a point to not stare at her too long because that would be considered weird. Then again, you couldn’t stop noticing her features even in a school uniform. She was a nice fitted girl who seem to be surrounded by a lot of girls. She might have been someone who doesn’t get a lot of attention, but it was noticeable to all the girls that she was really pretty, smart and charming. It took a toll at your heart and your self-esteem that you were thinking this way just because Kiri liked her.

You decided to push it to the back of your mind and walked out quickly, making your way to the bathroom in the second floor. You knew that bathroom was usually lonely but occasionally the group of girls would gather inside to gossip. You walked in and made sure no one was inside, and you started to tear up. You didn't cry but the tears just ran down your face and they didn't stop. You tried to wipe them away, but the more you did, the more you started to think about how useless you felt. Why couldn't you say anything to him? It was so hard to even ask him how he felt about you . Not just as a friend but just a normal girl.

Even after all that, you thought maybe letting some emotions out would make it a little better to face your friend, but it never really was. You ended up going home instead, forgetting that you were suppose to meet him after school like he had reminded you. You didn't even remember when you got home, and even then, you weren't worried about seeing him that day. Its when he called you that you had remembered. You took your time to answer, giving off a tired 'hello' in response.

"Hey, where are you? Its been 20 minutes since school was over and I didn't see you come out the locker rooms. Are you doing okay?"

"Ah, sorry. I went home. I will have to take a rain check today." It went silent for a bit, hearing some shuffling on the other side before he responded.

"Alright, well, I was invited to hang with you-know-who so I guess I can go with her. Just... keep me updated? Last time you didn't even say anything when you hurt your arm." You couldn't help but chuckle at the memory of your broken arm.

"Yeah, sure. I'll make sure to keep you on the loop at all hours of the day. You have fun." You could hear his chuckle as he hung up, your smile fading as you heard the end of the call.

"Don't have too much fun.."

[hispipsqueak]

Forever

Hanta Sero x F!Reader NSFW

Summary: After years of being together, you and Sero decide to reminisce in the best way possible.

WC: 2.2K

A/N: Hi friends! Sero is one of those characters that I truly see as good husband material and I wanted to express some of those feelings in this piece. I know for a lot of us, especially in my age range, growing up and leaving that age of “dumb teenager/early 20′s mess” to “adult with responsibilities” is a big change and I hope that is reflected a bit in this. Also, there’s car sex. So that’s fun :D As always, likes and reblogs are very much appreciated! Thanks for reading <3 P.S: CAN WE TALK ABOUT SERO IN THE NEW EP??? ahhhh

TW: car sex, adulting/getting older, domestic relationship, daddy kink, breeding kink, mentions of drug use

Sero's eyes stared at the glowing screen, trying to comprehend the information yet again.

His gaze darted toward the corner, 3:36 A.M., and he yawned, before blinking and trying to re-read the document again. 

"Hey pretty boy." 

The smell of jasmine perfume and honey wafted in and he smiled sleepily as you ran your fingers through his shaggy black hair.

"Mm...I know, I know." He muttered, nuzzling into your touch. You were his rock, always making sure he ate well and slept enough, making sure he wouldn't overwork himself. Sero thought back to your UA days of sneaking out at 3 AM to some fast food joint and getting stoned while eating greasy fries in the back of his car. Time sure flew, huh?

You rested your head on his shoulder and pressed a kiss to his neck.

"Come to bed. Paperwork will still be there in the morning, I promise.", you muttered into his soft skin. He relented and pulled himself out of the chair, twirling you around so he had you pressed against the wall.

His eyes roamed your face. You were still gorgeous as the day he first laid eyes on you in high school.

"Whatcha thinkin' about, Hanta?" you whispered. He grinned, that toothy smirk that you fell in love with unchanged after all these years, and kissed you. 

"Just reminiscing. Thinking about how far we've come. Remember when we were annoying teenagers, sneaking out of the dorms?" 

"I'm pretty sure we are the reason for Aizawa's grey hairs now. Remember when your van broke down and we had to beg Bakugo to pick us up at 4 A.M.?" you giggled back, thinking of the blonde's angry scolding the entire ride home.

The two of you chuckled quietly, thinking about the years past. You glanced down at your hand, the sparkling diamond that adorned it shining in the dim room. 

"I remember the day you proposed too. I'm pretty sure I thought you were going to dump me." you teased.

Even in the dark, you could see his face flush and his eyes narrow.

"I was NERVOUS. I was trying to ask the love of my life to spend the rest of our lives together and you just sat there being beautiful and Denki spent the day before trying to convince me to do a flash mob and it was a LOT of pressure!"

"You literally started off with, 'We've had some bad times, and some good times, and this was fun'." You laughed, picturing his face that day. He was sweating bullets and your heart was sinking, thinking he was ending it. He had been so secretive and weird the weeks prior, as opposed to his normally chilled out demeanor. 

Sero kissed your forehead.

"I still have no idea why you said yes, but you're stuck with me, babe." He clinked his matching band against yours, a gesture the two of you did to remind yourselves of your unbreakable bond. 

His long arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you close to him and you buried yourself into his chest, smelling his citrus-scented soap. He rested his chin on your hair. 

"When did we get so old, Y/N?" He whispered, his eyes looking at the walls behind you. Pictures of the two of you decorated the house. The pair of you in matching sunglasses at the beach, a group photo of you two and the squad at dinner after the aforementioned proposal, a candid on your wedding day, and then the two of you holding your twin boys.

"I'm pretty sure after we became parents." you mumbled into his chest, your sleepiness apparent in your voice. "I think once I had to say Daddy in a non-sexual way, was when I realized we were old." 

Sero chuckled quietly, his hands squeezing your waist. 

"But, we're still cool right? We aren't our parents." 

You looked up at him, eyebrows raised.

"Hanta, are you worried about getting older?"

He closed his eyes. 

"Not worried as much as...I just...I don't wanna be an old guy who drives a minivan and talks about retirement and golf."

Your eyes widened and you burst into laughter.

"Baby, I'm pretty sure you would never take up golf."

Sero pouted and you grinned before continuing.

"But in all seriousness, we aren't the kids we were in high school. Maybe we can't pull all nighters and still function the next day, and maybe we have to be parents who eat more vegetables and less french fries. But it's also nice to have a car that doesn't require a running start to move, and have a house instead of sneaking in and out of each other's dorm rooms. And you know, the kids are KIND OF cool."

He nodded.

"They are pretty cool kids."

You cupped his face, tilting him towards you.

"If I have to grow old with someone, I'm glad it's with you."

His face flushed and he pressed his lips to yours, kissing you deeply. You gently tugged at the longer hair behind his ears as you kissed him back. He let out a low groan and his hands kneaded at your curves, squeezing your ass and hips.

Finally, the two of you broke apart, breathless and grinning. He pressed his forehead to yours.

"How about…we reminisce a little more? Maybe...in the car, for old time's sake?"

You nodded and the two of you headed to the garage, trying to stay as quiet as possible to not wake up the kids. Sero opened the car door and the two of you slid in the backseat, giggling like teenagers. 

You straddled him and could feel his cock through his joggers. He groaned as you grinded against it, teasing him with hungry hot kisses to his neck. 

“You’re such a tease, princess.” He whispered before tracing the shell of your ear with his tongue. Your body shivered at his touch. Even after all this time, he made you feel like a lovestruck schoolgirl. You ran your hands down his toned chest, his body lean from hero work, and slid your fingers underneath his shirt.

Sero took this as an invitation to pull off his black tank top and you did the same to your sleeping shirt, an old band tee that you snagged from him. His hands cupped your breasts, slowly kneading the soft flesh as he placed soft kisses on your collarbone and shoulder.

“Mmm...you’re so fucking beautiful. How the hell did I get so damn lucky, babe?” He said between kisses. Sero had a way of making you feel like the sexiest woman in the world and you couldn’t help but smile as he worshipped your breasts, kissing and licking his way down till he latched his mouth over your nipple. 

Using his other hand to tweak and tug at the hardened bud, he alternated between the two, sucking and leaving soft bites. Your back arched involuntarily, pushing your chest deeper into his mouth as you moaned.

“Fuck…need you Hanta.”

His long fingers worked their way down your belly, tracing circular patterns as he reached your sex. He ran a finger across your slit, barely parting your folds.

“What do you want, baby? Tell Daddy what you want.”

“Please...please touch me. Please daddy.” you begged, grinding yourself against him for the smallest amount of friction. You could feel yourself leaving a mess on his sweatpants, but you needed his touch.

He let out a deep chuckle.

“So desperate, huh baby? Let daddy take care of you.” You bit your lip as he plunged two fingers into your cunt. The length, combined with the hooking motion had you gasping. He continued to plunge in and out of your sopping heat as you rocked against him. Your thighs tensed, threatening to close on his arm. He maneuvered the two of you so you were laying on your back across the seat, his hand gripping your soft thighs, holding you in place as he finger-fucked you.

“Take it like a good girl baby. Let daddy make you feel good. You look so beautiful for me baby.” He praised you as he pushed deeper into you. You could feel him hit spots in you that made you see stars. All you could do was lay back and cry from the overwhelming pleasure that clouded your brain.

“Fuck...daddy, gonna cum soon!” you wailed, eyes rolling back. Hanta then chose this moment to pull his fingers from you, leaving your pussy to clench around nothing. You let out a frustrated whimper, tears leaking from your eyes.

“I’m so sorry baby, but I promise I’m gonna make it all better. You trust me baby?” He asked, his eyes dark with desire and something primal.

You nodded, sniffling at the shock of your orgasm being ripped from you. He tapped your lips with his fingers,still dripping of your arousal. Obediently, you opened and sucked on the two fingers, tasting yourself. 

“Look how good you taste baby. You’re such a good girl for me. I want you to lick up every last drop from my fingers. Can you do that for daddy?” He asked, grinning.

Nodding dumbly, you slurped down every bit of yourself from his hand. He pressed against your tongue, making you gag around him. You looked up at him, drool falling from the corners of your mouth. 

Hanta felt his cock twitch. Fuck you looked so sexy, so fucked and in love. He could see the devotion in your eyes as you looked at him awaiting his next instructions.

He pulled his hand back, strings of saliva hanging off of his calloused fingers. He propped himself above you so he was looking right down at your gorgeously fucked out face.

“You ready baby? You ready to take all of Daddy’s cock?” He asked, tugging your shorts down and lining himself up with your entrance. Your fingers found their way to his neck, tugging him close to you. The two of you shared a deep kiss, exchanging unspoken promises and memories before breaking apart. You nodded, looking deep into his eyes.

“Always."

Hanta felt his face flush, before slowly pressing into your tight heat. You bit your lip. No matter how many times the two of you had done this, you still had to prepare for his length. He wasn’t the thickest but his cock was long and lean just like him, with a curve that pressed itself right against your most sensitive spots.

“Fuck...you feel so good for me. You’re squeezing me so well baby.” He murmured, his dark eyes drinking in every inch of your body. His hands ran up and down your sides as he looked down at you and he gave you a small grin as he pinched your hip. You dug your fingertips into his shoulder blades, pulling him flush against you.

“Oh fuck you feel so good.” You rocked your hips against him, rolling yourself onto his cock. He took this as a cue to go faster and started to piston deeper inside of you, his balls slapping against your ass. His tip slammed against your walls, burying him deeper inside you. Moans and sighs filled the backseat and you gripped him tightly.

“That’s it babe, that’s it. Taking daddy so fucking deep. Fuck you’re sucking me in so well. I might have to knock you up again if you keep it up. You want that princess? Want daddy to put another baby inside you?” Hanta panted, hungrily kissing your neck and shoulder as he fucked into you faster. His teeth nipped at the thin skin and you cried out, from a mixture of pain and pleasure. “Answer me baby girl.”

“Y-yes daddy! Please fill me up with your cum. Need you so bad. Wan’a have your baby.” You moaned, delirious from him. The windows to the car were foggy and sweat ran down your bodies as you repeatedly crashed into each other, and yet all you could feel was him, all you wanted was to stay with him and please him as much as you could.

He could feel his release rapidly approaching. His hand snaked down to your clit and he pressed tight circles to the sensitive bud. Your back arched from the seat as you moaned out a mixture of curses and begs. Your mindless babbling spurred him on more. He wanted to keep fucking you, make it so you couldn’t remember your own name, drive you insane with desire and want.

“Tell me who’s fucking you so good baby. Who’s making you feel so fucking good? Who’s cum do you want to fill that tight little pussy of yours?” He breathed out, slamming into you impossibly faster.

“Daddy daddy daddy - DADDY!” you chanted, your mind fuzzy as you tightened around him, creaming on his cock. You wrapped your legs around his waist and rode out your high on his cock as your eyes fluttered and your mouth dropped open.

“That’s it, that’s it, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” He groaned out as he released into you, filling you with his seed. His cock twitched, spurting his load into you and his fingers gripped your hips, holding you tightly as he filled you up.

The two of you panted, breathing hard as you came down from your highs, slowly moving into a position where he could hold you. He moved some strands of hair, plastered to your face with sweat, and pressed a soft kiss to your temple.

“I love you.” 

You grinned, sleepiness overtaking your body as you leaned into him, your lips pressing against his skin.

“Forever.”

[ahopelessromantic]

31% ➳ S. Reid

Pairing: Spencer x neutral! Reader (if I missed something please tell me!)

Word count: 2,4k

Warnings: Suggestive content, Spencer and reader really have the hots for each other

The nature of your friendship with Reid has been flirtatious from the start. So flirtatious that the team thinks it’s all a joke... right? (A/N: Please don’t ask me what this is. I wrote this in one sitting while suffering from PMS, I don’t even know anymore.)

“Look at that walk.” Morgan chuckled to Emily for everyone but especially you to hear. You rolled your eyes, yet couldn’t help the smug grin on your face. Like girls in high school ready to hear the newest gossip your two colleagues and closest friends leaned over your desk. “You, sweetie, got laid.” You let out a happy sigh and leaned back in your chair. Last time you had been this relaxed had been… god, you couldn’t even remember it.

“What’s their name?” Emily grinned, stealing a sip of coffee from your mug. “And do they have a brother? Sister? Cousin?” You lifted your brow. “A respectable, decent human being like me doesn’t kiss and tell. But it’s a he. And he’s all mine.” Both Morgan and Emily lifted their eyebrows in surprise. “(Y/N)? Getting territorial? We love to see it.” Morgan teased. You squinted at him. “You know what? I loved flaunting my post-coital bliss in front of you, but quite frankly I’m starting to feel attacked now, so I’ll go hang out with Garcia.” Emily feigned a pout. “Come on! At least give us some details!” You just winked at her after getting up from your seat and disappeared down the hallway. On the way to Penelope’s office, you didn’t miss Spencer’s searing hot look on you, a hint of the same smug smile on his lips that had been on yours when you had entered the BAU this morning.

“(Y/N), this is bad. We’re breaking at least three policies just by being here together right now. Also, relationships between colleagues are rarely a good idea.” You chuckled and pressed another kiss to Spencer’s neck. “Then why does it feel so good, Spence? And, actually, workplace hookups are way more common thank you think. About 31% of them even end up in marriage.” “Are you using my own weapons against me right now? That’s hot.” He murmured and pulled you further into his lap. You looked down into his eyes, your gaze dropping to his lips momentarily before wandering back up again. There was just something about him that made you feel like you were on fire, as if an electric current ran between the two of you. You bit your lip and played with his tie. “You have to know how I feel whenever you’re spitting your facts at least once, too.” Your eyes met again, and then your lips were on his.

Spencer and you had gotten along like a house on fire from the day you had joined the BAU. Somehow the two of you had clicked right into place after just a short period of Spencer warming up to you. Before anyone could even tell what was happening you had become the team’s new dynamic duo. Your sharp wit matched his, and what he was too shy to say you spat right out. And that everlasting tension between you had been there from the beginning, too. It had almost cost you your sanity, the way the air in a room would change as soon as Spencer was in it, the way his mere presence made you want to either pounce on him or rip your lashes out. For a while, it had been enough to just bury that attraction where everyone could see it, in plain sight beneath heaps and heaps of slightly inappropriate flirting. Spencer would blurt out how your new heels gave you just the right height to make out with him, you would blurt out how you would like to see him in his glasses and nothing else. Everyone had taken your remarks as jokes, and you had always laughed with them. But there had never been anything funny about the shocks of electricity jolting through your fingers whenever your hands accidentally met or about the warmth seeping through you whenever you slept propped up against each other on the jet. All that tension had unloaded one day after an unusually hard case. Spencer and you had been taken hostage by an Unsub on a psychotic break, and it had only been due to luck and good timing that you had made it out alive. After debriefing, you had found yourself in an abandoned hallway of whatever precinct you had been in, and then your eyes had met. The look in them had been the same. Slightly frazzled, pupils still widened from the adrenaline pumping through your veins. You had both been so high on the incredibleness of still being alive that suddenly, you had decided to just fucking do what your body had been telling you to do for so long already. “I think I’m going to kiss you now.” You had breathed out, barely audible. Spencer had leaned against the wall behind him and lifted his chin as if he had been daring you to do it. “Okay.” He had whispered back. And then your lips had met in what you could swear had been the best kiss of your life. Your hands had tangled themselves in his hair as if they had been supposed to be there all along, and his hands had fit in the groove of your waist as if they had been made for it. Maybe you had both been made for each other.

“It looks like the unsub is citing the karma sutra.” JJ’s gaze wandered over the book excerpts up on the case board. “A sexual sadist maybe?” Spencer shook his head almost excitedly, a familiar gleam in his eyes which he got whenever a case was particularly interesting to him. “See, that’s the interesting part. 80% of the karma sutra is actually just love-related philosophy and how to sustain desire. There is no sexual component to his murders, so I think he might either be trying to throw us off or create some sort of bizarre scavenger hunt.” While chewing on one of the fries Emily had brought you all for dinner you let your eyes wander over the pictures of sex positions and quotations on the board, then to the copy of the book lying right in front of Spencer on the table. “Well, it’s definitely an interesting choice to make for a book. Spence, you’ll keep it memorised for later, right?” You spoke, mostly out of habit. Spencer winked at you in response and Morgan choked on his burger. “There’s people eating here!” He spluttered out, pointing at Hotch, who looked like he wanted to die, and Rossi, who was watching the scene unfold with an amused smile on his face. All he was missing was a bucket of popcorn to match the level of detachment he was displaying. Prentiss just laughed and turned her attention to you. “(Y/N), does your boyfriend know about your workplace flirting buddy?” She knew exactly what she was doing, a mischievous glint in her eyes. You felt your face fall for the split of a second but immediately regained your composure. “Nice try, honey. I’m still not telling you about him. Also, for what it’s worth, he’s not the jealous type. So he doesn’t mind.” You deliberately avoided Spencer’s gaze, praying to whichever deities out there that you weren’t blushing.

Later that evening, back in your apartment, you could tell that something was on Spencer’s mind. He had taken some paperwork home that, under normal circumstances, wouldn’t have taken him longer than an hour. But it had been two and a half hours already, and the subconscious mumbling he only did when he was extremely anxious set you off. “Spence, baby, are you okay?” You had been his roommate for long enough to know that he needed someone to be there in moments like these. The two of you sharing an apartment had been a decision for practicality’s sake more than anything. You had slept over at each other’s apartments half of the time before that anyway, and this way, you were even able to save up some more to hopefully soon buy the house of your dreams. The team probably didn’t even know about the two of you living together, and if they knew, they had probably just added it to the list of weird things Spencer and you did. Spencer hadn’t even heard, and it took you placing your hand on his shoulder for him to return to reality. He looked up at you with a conflicted look, his eyes horribly sad. “Are you alright?” You asked again, sitting down next to him. He nodded and closed the case file he had been working on with a sigh. “I’m okay. I just keep on thinking about what Prentiss said.” You frowned. Emily tended to say a lot of things in just one day. “Back in the conference room. The…” He trailed off to take a deep breath. “The boyfriend thing.” You were still looking at him in confusion. “Am I?” “What?” You asked stupidly. Apparently, your brain had suffered a sudden case of non-functionality. You could feel his frustration get even worse. “Am I your boyfriend, (Y/N)?”, Spencer finally explained for you to catch on. Suddenly, a laugh escaped your lips. “Well, I mean I hope so.” Now it was he who looked like his mind was failing him. “I mean, to be honest, I hadn’t really properly thought about it, but I definitely bragged about my hot, intelligent FBI boyfriend to my friends from high school. So, I guess it would be really nice if you actually were. I mean, I think I haven’t slept in my own bed in weeks.” A smile had spread across Spencer’s face, a light pink hue dusting his cheeks. “I uh… I described you as my partner in the letters to my mom, too. I didn’t know how else to describe it to her. Because I … I guess I was hoping that this wasn’t just us sleeping together from the start. I trust you, (Y/N), more than I’ve ever trusted anyone. And I like having you by my side.” Not able to stop yourself, you closed the distance between the two of you to press your lips to his. Keeping your relationship with Spencer undefined for any longer than that would have been a huge waste of potential.

Somehow, you had always expected that Spencer would one day expose the two of you by taking it too far with your flirting. He hadn’t been all too experienced with dating, sex and everything beyond that before you, that was something he had told you himself once after a few glasses of your favourite red wine. But what you really hadn’t expected was running into Emily in an IKEA, of all places. Ever since once and for all defining your relationship you had moved into his bedroom for good, which left room for creativity in your old room. The two of you had been walking around the furniture store hand in hand, Spencer with a potted plant already under his arm, when you’d suddenly heard Emily calling out your name. If it hadn’t been for Spencer’s hand firmly in yours you would have booked it down the aisle of Malm closets, but this way all you could do was turn around with a deliberately composed expression. “Hi, Em.” You smiled as if you hadn’t just run into your colleague slash best friend while holding the hand of your also colleague, slash boyfriend. Prentiss looked like she was trying to make sense of the situation, her eyes fleeting back and forth between you and Spencer. “Is this something you do now? Hold hands and buy plants together?” You had to suppress a laugh and almost pitied her for her confusion. Spencer was forcing himself not to smile as well, swaying your still intertwined hands back and forth. “It’s not a big deal Emily, we just need some things for our apartment.” Her eyes looked just about ready to pop out of her skull at that. “Your apartment?! (Y/N), what about your boyfriend- oh.” Her eyes widened even more if that was even possible. “OH!” She almost yelled, and now you couldn’t help the giggle that escaped your lips anymore. “No one will ever believe you.” You grinned, pressed a kiss to her cheek and pulled Spencer back to your shopping cart with you.

The next day, Emily sat at her desk with her head in her hands when Spencer and you entered the bullpen. She looked positively traumatised and now you were all the more glad that you had bought her a breakfast muffin on the way to work. “Hey, Em.” You greeted her hesitantly, you tone causing Morgan to look up from his screen. He always immediately knew when something was off. “So, Spencer, huh?” She mumbled instead of a greeting, mustering the two of you up and down. It wasn’t abnormal for the two of you to constantly be glued to each other’s sides, but now she was probably starting to see that from a whole new perspective. You could hear Morgan get up and trip over his chair in his haste to get to Emily’s desk, but your whole focus was on her at that moment. You smiled. “Yup. Don’t ask me how, or why, but I’m sure about him. He’s also just really fucking attractive.” At that, she laughed, and Spencer pouted playfully. “You only like me for my body, (Y/N).” You rolled your eyes and nudged him with your elbow. “I’m trying to make a point here, honey. But yeah, it’s Spence, and I’m happy it’s him.” “You know, I feel like I should probably be more surprised by this, but it’s not really much of a change from the way you behaved already. Kinda saw it coming.”, Morgan finally spoke up, and you couldn’t be more grateful to him for being so cool about the whole situation. “Aren’t you guys worried about the pressure of all of this? You know, workplace romances and everything?” Emily mused. Somehow, she had already switched back into concerned friend mode. But much to your surprise it was Spencer who spoke up and pulled you closer to his side with an arm around your waist. “Someone once told me that workplace romances are actually really common and that 31% of them even end in marriage.” You felt the biggest smile grow on your face and turned to look him in the eyes. “I don’t really know anything, about any of this. But I trust (Y/N), and I trust what we have. I’m just hoping that maybe we’ll be up in those 31%.” You couldn’t help it. You just had to press a kiss to his cheek for that. “I’m hoping for that, too.” You mumbled. Despite Morgan’s and Emily’s theatrical gagging at your public display of affection, you couldn’t help but feel like this was a significant moment. You were really doing this. And boy, were you serious about it.

[pacific-rimbaud]

Drabble #39: "Hey! I was gonna eat that."

by PacificRimbaud for @grangerdangerfics​ 

Rated M for language and sexual references

Pairing: Pansy Parkinson x Michael Corner

Tags: High School AU, Non-magical AU, discussion of teen sex

"Cocoa Puffs. Nice."

Michael, folded in half and pushing a half-gallon carton of Minute Maid aside to grab the milk, stood up quickly, cracking the top of his head on the ceiling of the refrigerator.

"Shit!" The gallon jug of milk hung from the index finger of one hand, and he rubbed the top of his scalp with the other.

He'd entirely forgotten that it had been Spirit Day, but he was reminded of it by the sight of Pansy closing his sliding back door behind herself, her twiggy legs poking out from the ass-grazing hem of her cheer skirt.

"Can you knock?" he asked, pulling the plastic seal from the cap of the milk. "Is that something you've got stashed away in your grossly under-tapped skill set? Or do you just do pom poms now?"

"Mom says I don't have to." She parked herself on the bar stool Michael had intended to sit on at the kitchen island.

"My mom or your mom?"

"Your mom."

He sat down at the opposite end of the bar, reached over to hook a fingertip into the edge of the bowl of Cocoa Puffs sitting in front of Pansy, and dragged it across the counter toward himself.

An enormous bow, purple with white polka dots, sat at the top of her head, crowning her blunt black bob. Her eyelids were shaded to match. Michael thought he smelled artificial grape, and wondered if it was her lip gloss.

"Why are you in my house, Minnie Mouse?" He poured milk over his cereal, then walked back to the fridge to put it away. Bent over again, he heard the distinctive sound of ceramic scraping across granite, and turned around to find Pansy with his bowl back in front of her and his spoon in her hand, chewing earnestly.

"Hey.” He gestured pointlessly at the bowl. “I was gonna eat that."

She waved at him. "Move on. I have a favor to ask you."

Michael pulled another bowl from the cupboard. "You mean besides letting you eat my cereal?"

She nodded, jamming a spoonful into her grape-flavored mouth.

"I need you to start fucking me after school."

Michael froze.

"Excuse me?"

As she waved her hand again, he fixated on her gleaming purple manicure. Each of her nails was a completely smooth oval.

"It's perfect. I checked, and cheer practice lines up almost exactly with robot group–"

"Robotics club."

"Fucking Legobots clubhouse, and mom doesn't get home until 6:15."

"My mom or your mom?"

"My mom. Your mom gets home at 5:45, so that’s another half an hour at my house, which we might need, I don't know. Anyway, like I said, you're right next door, it's perfect." She took another bite of Michael's cereal.

Carefully, deliberately, he set his new bowl down at his new spot at the island, and sat down.

Slowly, methodically, he filled it to the brim with Cocoa Puffs.

“Is this like a fake dating thing? Are you trying to get Draco back by pretending we’re sleeping together or something?”

Pansy shook her head. “No. It’s the opposite of that. We’re going to have real sex, but no one will know about it. And I’m still not talking to you at school.” She’d finished chasing the last globes of cereal around in her milk, and grabbed the box to top off her bowl.

Michael could feel himself glitching.

“Sex.”

“Yes, Michael.”

“With me.”

“Yes, Michael.”

He rebooted. “Why me?”

“It just makes sense. We’ve already seen each other naked,” she said. “Taken baths together. Slept in the same bed.”

“Yes, when we were two.”

He thought about the photo albums on the shelves in the TV room, and the series of photographs taken of her and Michael standing in a plastic pool in the backyard, arms looped around one another’s shoulders, wearing nothing but My Little Pony and Spider-man underpants, respectively, Michael squinting in the sun, Pansy in pink star-shaped plastic sunglasses, tongue out and hip cocked to one side.

“You can sleep with literally any guy at school. And not to be an asshole, like, get it, for sure, but my understanding is that you kind of do.”

She turned toward him with a look of unfiltered excitement and pointed the bowl of her spoon at him. “That’s exactly it. I don’t. But Cassius—”

“Cassius Warrington?”

“Mm hm.”

Cassius Warrington had graduated two years earlier, and now played college football in a very high-profile way.

“I’ve been texting with Cassius, and Daphne was messing around and said something to his sister who told Graham Montague who told Cassius that I’m incredible.”

Michael blinked. “Incredible at having sex?”

“Yes.”

His eyes narrowed. “Are you...not?”

“No! I’ve never done it.”

He looked down into the detritus of cereal powder floating in his now-brown milk, and suddenly short on appetite, dropped his spoon in his bowl.

“But I thought you and Draco, you know, for what, three and a half years…?”

He wondered why he’d felt the need to specify the half.

“His parents are so weird about all that purity stuff. He went down on me constantly, but that’s as far as it went. But no, I haven’t had intercourse.”

“So...you’re asking me to have intercourse with you, so you can have intercourse with your boyfriend?”

“He’s not my boyfriend yet, but basically, yes.”

Michael suddenly felt defensive.

“Why would you think I’d want to do this?”

Pansy stared at him, then waved a hand down the length of her body.

She was all soft, flawless skin and dark hair and big eyes and long legs and…

Michael breathed out.

“Because I’m me,” she said. “And you get intercourse, Michael. Until I’m good at it.”

“Isn’t that a big deal, though? Like don’t you want to have feelings with whoever you have sex with for the first time?”

“That’s exactly the problem. What do you think of when I say ‘virginity’?”

“I mean, it’s a social and not a biological construct, and there are some pretty gross gender disparities—”

“Exactly. That’s why you’re perfect. I don’t want some guy who thinks putting his dick in me is the equivalent of typing ‘First!’ in the comments.”

“And you think Cassius will be? Why date him then?”

“He’s 6’5”. But you’re an analytical nerd, you’re fucking hot, you’re definitely not going to tell anyone, you’re single—”

“What makes you think I’m single?” He paused. “You think I’m hot?”

She only rolled her eyes. “And yes, the double standards are unbelievably fucking annoying,” she said. “Did you?”

“Did I what?”

“Have feelings the first time?”

He swallowed, and pushed the cereal further away.

“I haven’t done it either.”

Pansy and her grape lip gloss stood up abruptly from the bar stool.

He wasn’t tall, exactly, and she wasn’t short, exactly, but when she and her tiny skirt stepped between his parted knees, something about the way she was still a little shorter than him while he was sitting down triggered a rush of adrenaline, and his gut promptly became a thriving butterfly preserve.

“Are you―what, like, right now?” he asked.

He’d been steadily leaning toward saying yes, but if he did, there was a lot of research he’d want to do between now and the actual opening ceremonies.

“No, fucking dork.” Pansy rolled her eyes, and patted her hands against his knees. “My parents are out of town next weekend, and Cassius is gone for an away game, so he’ll be too busy to text.” She smiled, and it was something less like the Cheshire smirk she flashed at her friends across the quad, and more like the way she used to look when they tore open their first Otter Pops in Michael’s back yard every summer, until they’d turned twelve and both moved on.

“We’re going to be so bad,” she said. “But that’s fine.”

“I hope not. I mean...if we...I’d try. Obviously. To not be bad.”

“It’s not like AP Calculus.”

“No, I don’t imagine it’s anything like AP Calculus.”

Michael glanced at her mouth, glistening and faintly purple, and Pansy’s eyes widened.

Fuck it, he thought.

He settled one hand at her hip and the other at the back of her neck, and then he kissed her.

They separated a full minute later, both breathless.

Oh, Michael thought.

“Oh,” she said.

“Next weekend?” he asked, hand tightening over her hip. “Like, what time?”

“I guess...” She stared at Michael’s lips, and her hips tilted forward. “Whenever.”

Oh, fuck.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #443

“it’s not a life sentence, but a death dream for you”

When was the last time you were in the hospital? Me personally, uhhh sometime in 2017? Why were you there? I had a cyst removal surgery. Do you like Cheez-Its or Cheese Nips better? Cheez-Its. Have you worn headphones at all today? Yeah, I pretty much always do because YouTube is always open and on a video. When was the last time you had blood drawn? A few months ago or something? I'll be getting some drawn shortly though for genetic testing; due to my mom having some dysfunctional cancer prevention gene, all her children are getting tests to see if we inherited it. The last time you got blood drawn, what was the reason? I want to say I was tested for anemia most recently. What color eyes does/did your father have? Brown. What do you daydream most about? Things I wish I didn't daydream about. What is your relation to the last child you spoke to? They're my niece and nephew. Do you believe the Holocaust happened? No fucking shit? Do you prefer zebra stripes, tiger stripes, or leopard spots? Tiger stripes, ig. When did you last see a dog? At my nephew's b-day party a couple weeks ago. Nicole brought her dog Zeke over. Have you ever been in the mountains when the moon and stars were up? No, but omg I wish!!!!!!!!!! Do you know anyone from Canada? Yep. Has a cat ever licked you? Yeah. Roman especially loves to give kisses. Where would you most like to go in your state, etc. that you haven’t been? The Wizard of Oz park, probs. Are you scared to look at your own organs on x-ray or ultrasound? No, that shit's rad. o: Have you ever walked on a frozen lake/river? No, that sketches me out. I'd be afraid of the ice breaking and me falling in. Have you ever seen a volcano? No. Have you ever met an Alaskan? Met in-person, no. But I do have an online friend who's from Alaska. Or may still live there? Idk. Have you ever mowed the lawn (even a little bit)? No. Have any unpleasant public transit stories to tell? Nah. Do you know any German words? Seeing as I took four semesters of the language in high school, I know a good deal. However, my skill has definitely atrophied with time and lack of application. Do you have a passport? No. Are your teeth straight? I mean, mostly. I had braces for too long, but I didn't wear my retainer, so they've moved back some. Would you mind dating someone significantly shorter than you? Yeah, sure. I've never understood why height is an issue for some people. Can you quote the movie Mean Girls? No. I personally never got the craze. Have you ever swam in the Atlantic Ocean? I have. The Pacific? No. Can you make yourself cry? No. Have you ever held a starfish? Not a live one. What would you do if you found out your ex was pregnant/fathered a child? Faint or vomit. Wail. All three. Are you very close to your siblings? No. :/ Can you do CPR? No. Favorite sport to watch in the summer Olympics? I don't care. Ever flushed a fish? Yes. Ever been paid for sex or a sexual favor? No. I wouldn't agree to that. Last friend you talked to online? Sara. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? No. What is the best ice cream flavor? Vanilla. You have so many topping options. What’s your favorite thing to do outside? Photograph nature, especially wild animals. What would you spend $1,000 on? A big, really pro tattoo. What was the best (non-romantic) night you’ve had? Hm. I don't know. Who did you last lay in a bed/couch/recliner with? Mom and I sat together on the couch some time ago. Do you keep a planner? No. What are you craving right now? I've got a seriously random craving for shell pasta with a nice, meaty tomato sauce. Do you want kids anytime soon? DEFINITELY not soon, but also never. Has anyone ever drunk called/texted you? No. Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed? Yeah. What’s the best feeling in the world? Knowing you're in love and really feeling it. What’s something you really want right now, be honest. There's a lot of things. Who in your family do you act like the most? I don't know, really. Who has made the biggest sacrifice for you? My mom, 100%. Do you believe that your first true love can be your only love in life? Of course not. Have you ever kissed under water? Yes. Is there that one guy that you’ll always have feelings for no matter what? Suuuure is. Wish it wasn't like that, but I don't see it ever changing, to be real... Are you 100% over the last person you kissed? 100%? No, I can't say I am entirely. Have your parents ever caught you kissing a guy? "Caught me?" How old is this question meant for? Yes, they've seen me kiss a guy before. If you mean like, seriously kiss-kissing, no. Which one of your exes hates you the most? Probably Jason. Are you named after anyone? No. Well, my middle name has been passed down, but "Brittany" wasn't from anybody else in specific. What reminds you the most of your last relationship? The song "The Only Exception" by Paramore. Have you ever rejected someone but they still wouldn’t give up on you? In elementary school, yes. When growing up, did your family always eat at the dinner table together? Usually, yes, at least when growing up. Sometimes we'd use little tables to eat in the living room though while watching TV. What is the greatest source of happiness in your life? My mom, best friend, and pets. What was the last charity/cause you donated to? I'm unsure, actually. Who was the last person you got a handwritten letter from? Sara! :') Did your parents read bedtime stories to you when you were little? Mom did. Have any of your worst fears ever come true? Yes. The greatest fear I've ever had was losing Jason, and that happened. Is anyone in your family divorced? My parents, for one. My older half-sister has also be divorced because her ex is an absolute piece of manipulative horse shit. Has anyone in your family gotten pregnant as a teenager? I think my mom? No, maybe not... Idk. I ain't doing the math. What’s your greatest talent? If you want a serious answer and not something self-depracating, I suppose writing. Would you ever want to get a master’s degree? It'd be cool, but I've never *actually* wanted to pursue that. Have you ever worn revealing clothing in order to get attention? No. Have you ever been falsely accused of being racist? I've never been accused of being racist, because I'm not. To you, is sex just about physical pleasure, or do you see it as an expression of love and commitment? Absolutely the latter. I could never engage in sex without deep emotional commitment. How many times have you been drunk in the past 6 months? Zero. What’s your favorite French food? I have no idea. What’s the most elaborate recipe you know how to cook? Nothing. Which rooms of your house have doors that lead outside? The living room and kitchen. Best purchase you ever made? My snake. :') Is there anybody you think is hot over the age of 40? I haven't seen him a long time, but boy did I have a thing for James Hetfield in high school. There are defs others, but no one else immediately comes to mind. Have you ever been caught sneaking out? No, because I've never tried to. How many Facebooks have you had? Just the one I still use. Have you ever been punched in the face? No. When was the last time you talked to the first person you kissed? The beginning of February, 2017. What is the latest you have ever slept in? Past 5. Do you have to watch yourself in the mirror while you brush your teeth? No. Do you text when you drive? Fuck no. You couldn't pay me to. What movie do you really want to see that’s out? I don't even know what movies are out right now. Did America really put a man on the moon? Eventually, yes. Call me crazy, but I do believe the supposed first one was faked, though, to "beat" Russia in the space race. Do some research and it's pretty shocking. Would you like to date someone a lot purer than you? Idc. Do you turn your phone off at night when you go to sleep? No, but I turn the brightness down for if I wake up in the middle of the night and want to check the time. Have you slept in a bed with the last person you kissed? Yeah. Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you didn’t say it back? Yes. Has anyone ever played a prank on you? What happened? I don't believe so. Do you like tattoos and piercings? Helllll yes. :') What are you really into? Animals, art, some weird Korean guy on the Internet... Do your parents like your best friends? Yes. Have you ever taken a nap with a member of the opposite sex? Yeah. Do you have weak upper body strength? Yes. What color was the last cup you drank from? It's just clear glass. How old is your oldest sibling? I actually don't know her exact age. 30-something. What was the last thing you ate that had nuts in it? A Nature Valley cashew bar I had earlier today. How many pieces did the last puzzle you completed have? I have no idea. Who did you last shake hands with? uhhhhhhhh Has anybody asked you out on a date recently? Nah. When was the last time somebody asked you to be their girlfriend? When Girt asked me out a few years ago. Name something you’re picky about: Food. Who did you last ask for help? My mom. Do you like corn? Yeah. If you were offered to smoke some weed right now, would you accept? Right now I honestly probably would, believe it or not. Honestly, who is the last person to tell you that they love you? My mum. Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight? Yeah. How do you earn money? The only occasions where I ever and very rarely earn money is if someone (non-family, of course) pays me to take pictures for them. Where were you raised? All you need to know is a crappy town in eastern NC. Are your ears gauged? No, but I want the first holes in my earlobes to be, but only with very small gauges. I just can't figure out how to do it myself, at least with the gauges I have. I think I'm missing something. Explain what triggered your last kiss? We were saying goodbye. Could you go a month without talking to your best friend? I mean I could, but it'd seriously fucking suck. Have you ever made out in a park? No, because I don't do that in public. What are you listening to? "Paint You With My Love" by Marilyn Manson. I wasn't big on the album when it came out, but this is one of the songs that's aight to me. Last thing you said out loud? I gave Venus a little wave and said "hey babe" or something like that like I do sometimes when she's slithering around and looks out towards me. Are you sad? Always at least a little bit. I have been kinda down this evening. Where is your dad? I would hope at home. He's probably watching TV, or maybe in bed.

[bedbellyandbeyond]

Mystery Baby Theatre, Part 1

(Short Story Post, 1/6)

“Hola, I am Carloco, and welcome back to another episode of ‘Mystery Baby Theatre’! My fiancé, Reggie Twink is here with us. Reg, show the locas what you’re wearing. Driving me crazy over here... Damn.” Reggie came over to his partner, showing off a faded maroon crop top over his pale mostly slim body. The curve of his belly so far could only be caught from a profile view, so he did a little turn, cupping the base of his abdomen. “That’s right, loca. It’s that time of the year. Another little enigma is on the way.” Nine years they’d been together and to think it started as a fluke. When they first met, Carlos’s channel ‘Carloco’, described by some as ‘the Gay Man’s Jackass’, was an overnight hit, and Reggie’s own more established channel, ‘Reggie Twink’ had been doing well for two years already, discussing the sexual experience of trans men.  They hooked up for the clout, but they didn’t expect to actually get along so well and when Reggie’s pregnancy announcement video went viral, they figured it was time to commit and moved in together. “What are we on now, Reg? So many kids…” Carlos asked. “Seven? Eight?”

“This is baby número nueve,” Reggie replied holding up his fingers. “Is that right? Nine?” Carlos grinned and bit Reggie’s ear. “Perfect. You know I love it when you speak Spanish…” Reggie grinned, rubbing between Carlos’s legs. “Thank god these babies aren’t symphonies, or else this’d be the end for us.” Carlos rolled his eyes. “Babe, nobody gets your classical music jokes…” “A lot of composers died after making their ninth symphony,” Reggie explained, pouting. “I thought it was funny…” “Hm, we can edit that out later.” “Babe!” “I’m joking, I’m joking!” Carlos chuckled. “Calm down. I love you. You’re the smart one.” “That’s right. You’re lost without me.” “I really am…” Their first pregnancy, though extremely popular with the fans, had been quite a struggle for the couple. They were both still technically in college at the time, so time and money were limited. Reggie struggled through his year but he was determined to achieve academically and chose to retire his channel so he could concentrate on school and his pregnancy. Carlos on the other hand dropped out of college to do videos full-time. Many fans were heartbroken by Reggie’s retirement, so ‘Reggie Twink’ came back for the birth of their son, in all it’s graphic glory, as a feature on Carlos’s channel. The video was taken down within minutes, but fans had managed to download it anyway and it had been reuploaded by fans countless times. Videos they made later featuring baby boy Vance became incredibly popular and the channel started really taking off with the little family on screen. But it wasn’t always sunshine and daisies. Scandal broke out when photos came out of Reggie caught in public kissing a mystery man. This came just shortly after Carlos and Reggie announced baby number two was on the way. Reggie denied the photos, claiming the man in them didn’t look anything like him, but then the mystery man himself, Carlos’s own friend and hairstylist, admitted to an affair with Reggie, leading to Reggie’s own confession. It wasn’t just the mystery man, however. He admitted to having three other misters he’d been sleeping with since he started dating Carlos. “Breaking up with Reggie Twink” became Carloco’s most viewed video that year. When everyone thought it was over however, Carlos came out and proposed to Reggie. It came as a shock to everyone and the internet went insane. Carlos admitted that he didn’t mind Reggie sleeping with other men and in fact found it to be a huge turn on. The truth was, he was a mess without Reggie and the notion that the baby inside his stomach at that moment was highly likely some other man’s child drove him wild with lust. He wanted to be there for Reggie no matter what and if he was willing to be his husband, he wanted to live with no one else. The fans had never heard of a crazier love story and they ate it all up. When baby Brynn came, the birth video was uploaded again, and Carlos gave her his surname, letting everyone know he was serious about raising Reggie’s children. Not long after, Reggie was pregnant again, and the couple were open about the high likelihood that the baby was not biologically Carlos’s. The fans started spreading theories on who the true biological father could be based on the men Reggie was seen associating with. At this point, Carloco was doing so well, the couple was living easy and in luxury. Carlos hired a small team of staff to help with the production of his videos and every member with a penis was considered a possible baby daddy. Reggie’s belly got huge and it was soon revealed that he was having twins. The birth this time was much riskier, but it was still recorded like the last two and the twins were born naturally. Oddly, they had incredibly different features, and after paternity tests were done, they found out that Reggie had actually managed to get pregnant by two different men, neither of which were Carlos. Once again, the children were given the Fuerte name and were equally loved by the family. After the twins, Reggie took a little break from pregnancy. Family videos became a common feature on Carloco and they were seen doing everything together. Carlos continued to do his jackass style comedy on his channel, but nothing brought in the views quite like Reggie’s pregnancies. It wasn’t too long after that realisation that the bump began to swell again. Paternity speculations began to swarm again, and Reggie fed them by snapping pics with random men and throwing them up on his social media. No one could guess who he’d slept with and many were pretty sure he didn’t know either. Many were hoping for twins again, or maybe triplets, but he didn’t get very big and it seemed he wasn’t going to be able one up his past pregnancy. Until the baby came out with a tail. And not just any tail, a fish tail. People couldn’t believe it. Reggie had given birth to merspawn. This was the first time the couple made national news. Videos involving the merbaby trended for weeks and the family couldn’t even go outside without being harassed for photographs with the latest edition of the family. They were contacted by the APID multitude of times, but they refused to cooperate with the government beyond registering their child as non-human. Their fame made them wealthy beyond expectation and they moved into a bigger house in a more remote location to get away from the paparazzi. This didn’t stop their videos though, and it didn’t stop Reggie’s pregnancies. After the merbabe, a wolf child. After the werewolf, a cat spirit. After kitten, a Yulinian baby. It seemed there was no end to series of Reggie’s half-human line of children and they’d started to call the pregnancy videos ‘Mystery Baby Theatre’. Now with another on the way, the fans couldn’t even fathom what species Reggie had managed to impregnate himself with this time. “How many weeks?” Carlos asked, pulling Reggie into his lap in front of the camera. It was a living room shot and they were just chilling on their couch. The kids were being looked after by the nanny so they could film in peace. “Just five,” Reggie said, stroking his stomach. “Though I could swear I can already feel it kicking.” “Maybe you can. The only thing you’ve let me know is that it’s not human.” Carlos placed a hand on Reggie’s belly and held it there. He was always obsessed with Reggie’s belly through every pregnancy and videos with the two of them, he was always seen with his hand placed possessively on his fiancé’s middle, reminding everyone that these babies were his, no matter who put them in there. “Definitely not human,” Reggie said confidently. No one knew how Reggie managed to find his baby daddies. None of the fathers had ever come forward to claim their children and it was believed they had some kind of contract with the couple not to. As far as anyone could tell, Carlos was taking his fatherhood very seriously and he shared his time with all his children equally, not prioritising his blood in any way. He loved all the children and they regularly featured on his channel, chilling with their dads and showing off their little talents. They’d even started a channel for their eldest, Vance, whom at eight years old, was already his own little personality and liked to do fashion reviews and reaction videos. “So whatcha got brewing in there, huh?” Carlos asked, giving Reggie's belly a pat. “A fairy? El chupacabra? A dragon?” “Wouldn't you like to know...” Reggie smirked and framed his stomach with his hands. “You'll just have to wait like everyone else.” Carlos grinned and pinched Reggie's cheek. “Driving me wild, babe.” Reggie pulled his face away from the pinch and chuckled. “What's on the agenda today?” “Q&A, príncipe. The fans want to know all about everything.” “Okay, any questions for me?” “Of course. The locas want to know everything. Who wouldn't want to know about you?” Carlos called his Carloco followers his locas and they were numerous. Locas from around the globe wanted in on this supernaturally mixed family. Carlos had hired one of his staff specifically for public relations and sorting through all the comments for worthwhile questions for his Q&As. “Start with a question for me then,” Reggie insisted, waiting for Carlos to pull them up. “Okay, okay. Hold on.” Carlos scrolled to the Reggie section of his list of questions. “Ah. 'When is Reggie going to take over the channel'? Feels like you have already.” “That's right. I own 51% of this company,” Reggie grinned. “Another one.” “Hm. ‘What number will they stop at? Reggie can't possibly give birth to endless babies.’” Reggie just shrugged. “We'll stop when I'm ready. I might never be ready.” “Yeah, you'll be ninety-five, pushing out an eight-legged horse, Loki-to.” “Was that...a Spanish pun?” “Si, mi amor. You're supposed to laugh.” “Oh. Ahahahah.” “You're lucky I find you so damn sexy...” Reggie smiled and kissed Carlos's neck. “Another question.” Carlos smirked and scrolled down on his laptop. “Okay... ‘I need need need Reggie's postpartum workout routine and I need it stat. Didn't have a baby or anything. Just fat.’” Reggie laughed genuinely at that. “Oh, sweetheart... I'm sure your body is absolutely beautiful, but if you really need to lose some weight, I recommend talking to your doctor before trying any kind of workout. What works for me won't necessarily work for everyone else.” “So basically, you're going to keep your secrets,” Carlos deduced. Reggie's lips curled. “Maybe. Next question.” Carlos scrolled down. “Okay, one for me please. Ah. ‘When is Carloco going to free climb that redwood tree like he promised umpteen videos ago?’ That is a good question. We looked into it. My researchers said it'd be too dangerous... So, soon. Lo prometo.” Reggie rubbed Carlos's shoulder. “Don't hurt yourself, babe. I need you.” Carlos turned and gave Reggie a peck on the lips. “Te quiero, mi amor. But no promises.” “Another question for me now,” Reggie decided, leaning forward and scrolling the laptop himself. “Ooh, here’s a good one. ‘Will Reggie singlehandedly repopu—” He was suddenly cut off by a sudden urge to puke. He covered his mouth and tried to hold it down, but suddenly black bile escaped through the cracks of his fingers. Carlos jumped up in alarm. “Reg? What… Are you okay?” Reggie nodded but rushed off, dashing to the closest bathroom. Carlos frowned and picked up the camera, heading over to his partner in a jog while retching could be heard off-screen. When he got there, Reggie was bent over the toilet holding his stomach. He’d taken his glasses off which was a sign to Carlos that this was serious. When he looked into the toilet, it was pitch black. Carlos knelt down and rubbed Reggie’s back. “Are you okay? Feeling any better?” Reggie nodded again, panting to recover his breath. “…Towel.” “Of course.” Carlos pulled a towel down from the rack and soaked the edge. With it, he started wiping Reggie’s face. This wasn’t the first morning sickness they’d dealt with by a long shot. Of course, it had never come out pitch black before, but then again it was a mystery creature pregnancy. They’d started to expect weird things like this. Reggie turned over and put his hand on Carlos’s arm. “Babe… Camera… I don’t like being sick on camera.” “Right, right… We’ll be right back, locas.” Carlos turned off the camera and grinned. “Very dramatic, babe.” Reggie chuckled, rubbing his stomach. “You can thank this kid for that. I did not expect this shit…” He leaned over and flushed the toilet, letting the bile wash away. “Think we should be concerned?” Carlos asked. “Naw… I’m already feeling better. Help me up.” Carlos stood up and pulled Reggie up along with him. “Can’t believe you’re willing to go through all this. I don’t think I could handle being pregnant.” “It’s not for the feint of heart, I’ll tell you that.” Reggie stretched. “I’m hungry. Are you gonna keep filming or do you want to lunch with me?” “I want to do everything with you,” Carlos insisted. “What are we craving today?” “Hmmm… I have a serious wine craving.” “That’s not food, babe. And do you think it’s safe?” “Trust me, whatever’s growing inside me can handle it. I promise.” “Okay, but I’ll make us some sandwiches too,” Carlos said before leaving a big kiss on Reggie’s cheek then heading to the kitchen. Reggie took a moment to wash and moisturise his face before going to join his partner.

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

[thebonerpit]

all i want is a room with a view [fic]

all i want is a room with a view

Teenker/Keenker, 3780 words. TW: non-consensual voyeurism. Read it on AO3 here!

This was 100% inspired by a nff video that I used to have linked here but I’m taking it out because maybe that’s stopping my post from showing up in tag searches?? Anyway if you want the link I will post it, just send an ask, because the dude looks so much like older Harley it’s insane. And he has a gorgeous dick.

“Tony’s inappropriate feelings for Harley and Peter lead him to spying on them via cameras in their rooms. He sees a whole lot more than he expected.”

Tony had been thinking about this for weeks. Mulling it over in his head, weighing the pros and cons… and funnily enough, not once did he question the morality of the whole thing. That, he knew. He knew it was wrong but he was going to do it anyway because… well, because he wanted to. Because he could. And because he knew this was the closest he was ever going to get to these two beautiful boys.

Harley and Peter had been staying at the complex for about two months now. It was summer, so both of them were out of school and were desperate to get as much time in the labs as possible. Of course no one objected, and Bruce in particular was very pleased to have both of them around to bounce ideas off of. They each had their own room, both already making the spaces their own. They were usually in an equal state of mess although Peter was slightly more organized. He put up a Star Wars poster and had turned one corner into a mini chem lab for his ongoing experiments. Harley on the other hand was much more spartan in his decorating but his desk was constantly littered with mechanical parts and there were grease stains smudging the perfect white walls. He had apologized for the first one but Tony honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. He loved them, mess and all, and he would let them do whatever the hell they wanted if it meant they would stay.

He knew all this detail about their rooms because, well, frankly, he was spying on them. Never while they were in there, but he already had cameras set up in those rooms when they were empty and… he was curious. A few times he opened the feed and caught glimpses of them, working or reading or doing some other innocent activity, but he quickly shut it off. He didn’t want to invade their privacy like that.

Until he did.

It was a few weeks into summer when the staring started. He’d look up from his work to catch Peter’s glassy eyes fixed on him only to hurriedly look back down at his own project, blushing furiously. Harley was less subtle – as usual – and held Tony’s gaze for a few moments before smiling and looking away. At first he thought they were up to something, that he was going to get pranked, but nothing ever came of it. They did it to each other, too, but their gazes were much more knowing, so Tony could only assume there was something between them they didn’t want him to know about.

The first time he actively checked on them while he knew they were present was when he saw Harley sneaking into Peter’s room as he was up getting a glass of water one night. He tip-toed back to his bedroom and pulled up the feed, some dark anticipation throbbing in his stomach. But it seemed perfectly innocent. Harley was on Peter’s desk chair and Peter was on his bed, and they were just talking. Nothing nefarious. Nothing… sexual. It was sick how disappointed he felt.

But after that he just couldn’t stop. He watched Peter on his computer, looking up cute animal videos and laughing sweetly to himself. He watched Harley reading. He watched them both together, sitting on Harley’s bed, eating pizza and marathoning Stranger Things. He even turned the sound on occasionally, just to hear them laugh. It was like an addiction. But somehow, up until this point, he hadn’t seen anything remotely scandalous. Harley was shirtless once but it was just because he spilled coffee all over himself like an idiot.

“Maybe my timing is off,” Tony muttered to himself as he tinkered with the engine of his ’65 Porsche 911.

“What was that?” Harley called from the next table over.

“Nothing! Just talking to myself. As usual. Whenever I ask either of you a question you just respond with memes,” he snapped, which of course got the two of them going and away from the subject he definitely should not have been thinking about in the first place. But he might have had something. He never tried the mornings (or more realistically for these two, afternoons). Tony set an alarm for the next day, more pleased with himself than he should have been, and went back to work.

+ + + + +

He checked in on Peter first. When he opened the camera all he could see were tufts of brown hair peeking out under the edge of his massive comforter all bundled up around his body like a cocoon. Tony chuckled softly and shook his head.

“FRI, crank up the heat in Peter’s room a little, would you?”

Tony liked to keep the a/c low but even though Peter’s crazy high metabolism should keep him warm, he was always bundled up in hoodies and socks and obviously he needed some more heat while he slept. Tony smiled fondly at the image before switching over to Harley.

The contrast was shockingly stark. Harley had no sheets on at all and was lying face-down on the bed, clad only in a pair of very snug, red boxer-briefs. His tight, round ass was perfectly on display and Tony bit his lip as Harley shifted and the muscles clenched. This was more like it. Harley was obviously just waking up, his phone chirping an alarm at him as he squirmed a little bit, stretching his legs out and groaning softly into the pillow before flipping over to turn it off.

Tony was greeted by a significant bulge which he barely had time to appreciate before Harley was palming it and arching into his own touch.

“Mmmm,” he moaned quietly, biting his lip as he squeezed a bit harder.

Tony was completely captivated. This was exactly what he was hoping for, and as Harley slipped a hand into his underwear Tony did the same. How he was going to look him in the eye again later that day he had no idea, but he could barely even process that thought right now. All he could think about was how good he looked, how soft and sleep-warmed, and fucking shit how big his cock was. Tony was stunned when Harley finally pulled his briefs down his legs and grasped his dick with one hand. It was thick and long and flushed red, and Tony’s mouth literally watered at the sight. He had always imagined being on top in any scenario involving the boys but god, what he wouldn’t do to get that dick in his mouth or his ass…

Harley stroked himself slowly, pausing every so often to spit in his palm. He seemed unhurried and relaxed, just enjoying the pleasure of a lazy morning handjob. His other hand wandered up and down his chest, flicking at his nipples or scratching lightly against his stomach. A few times he reached up to tug at his mop of sleep-mussed dirty blonde hair and Tony felt his own hand tighten, wishing he could touch him like that, too. Harley kept his eyes closed for the most part but a few times he blinked and seemed to focus directly on the camera lens. The first time it happened Tony tensed up, his hand ready to cut the feed, but it must have been a coincidence because Harley just kept going like before.

His noises started to get louder as he sped up his strokes and he reached down with his other hand to cup his heavy sac, tugging at it gently. Tony could see his hips start to jerk, and from the look on his face he was about five seconds from coming all over himself, so Tony sped up to match him. Unfortunately, before they could get there, both of them wrenched their hands away as Harley’s door flung open and Peter waltzed inside.

“Hey Harls, wanna go get brunch before we—”

He stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the boy laid out on the bed. Harley stopped touching himself but made no effort to cover up, so he was completely naked and incredibly hard.

“Oh my god. Oh my GOD, I’m so sorry, fuck, I’ll… I just…”

Peter flushed bright pink but for some reason made no effort to turn and leave, which is probably exactly what Tony would have done if he walked in on his friend jerking off. Unless of course he was attracted to that specific friend and… oh. OH.

Harley seemed to come to the same realization and a slow, lazy smile crept across his face.

“Hey Pete,” he said, his voice scratchy with sleep and from the moans that were escaping earlier.

“I… I didn’t mean…” Peter’s voice was quiet, and he couldn’t tear his gaze away from Harley’s cock.

“I know. But you did sorta interrupt me. So, now that you’re here…”

Peter blinked at him owlishly.

“Wh-what?”

“Come on. I know we always talk about how fucking hot Tony is-“ excuse me WHAT “-but I’ve seen the way you look at me, too.”

Tony was reeling from the bomb that Harley so casually dropped. They talked about him? How had he never heard–?

“Shhh, Harley! We agreed, never in here! FRI hears everything.”

Ah-ha. Smart boys.

“Not really thinkin’ straight right now, Pete,” Harley said with a shrug. “If you don’t want to you can go, I promise I won’t make it weird, but—”

“NO! Uh. No. I…” Peter squirmed and bit his lip before he started slowly walking over to the bed.

Tony couldn’t believe his eyes. Was this really happening? He was half-tempted to ask FRIDAY if he was in a coma or hallucinating or maybe dead.

Peter was dressed in an oversized hoodie that Harley started to tug off as soon as he got close enough. They managed to get it off after a bit of a struggle, leaving him in tiny little sleep shorts that Tony had never seen before.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous, baby,” Harley said, grabbing at Peter’s waist and pulling him down for a wet kiss. Tony could hear everything, every slick filthy sound, and his dick which had softened briefly from the shock was now rock hard again.

“Really?” Peter whispered.

“You’re tellin’ me you haven’t picked up on ANY of the hints I’ve been droppin’? Christ, my flirting game is rusty.”

“I just… didn’t think…”

“Yeah, I know. It’s part of what I like so much about you. Innocent little flower,” Harley teased, kissing Peter on the nose and making him scrunch his face up.

“Oh my god Harley, I’m not that innocent!”

“Yeah? Prove it.”

Peter got a look on his face that Tony had definitely seen before, usually when either he or Harley challenged him to some task in the lab. Determination. Stubbornness. Boldness. He huffed out a little noise before pushing Harley back down on the bed, crawling down his body, and licking a thick, wet stripe up the length of his cock. Harley’s whole body jerked at the sensation and Peter looked up with a sly smile before taking the tip into his mouth and sucking.

“Fuckkkk, that’s it baby,” Harley groaned, throwing his head back against the pillow and scrabbling blindly for Peter’s hair to tug on which earned him a disapproving noise.

“Nuh-uh,” Peter tutted, pulling off him with a soft ‘pop’. “You want that, you have to look at me.”

Harley propped himself up on his elbows, one eyebrow raised, as he stared down at Peter who was pressing soft kisses all along his length.

“Is this better, princess?” he teased. Peter flushed a little but nodded as he took him back in his mouth. Harley dug one elbow into the mattress and with his other hand he curled his fingers back into Peter’s hair, pulling gently. Tony watched, completely mesmerized, as Peter got about halfway down his cock before he gagged and had to back off. There was no way the kid was going to get that thing all the way down his throat but god it was beautiful to watch him try. His lips were swollen pink from the abuse, spit-slick and oh so kissable. And Harley was a sight himself, obviously already on the edge from touching himself for so long but trying not to come too soon, his body tense and shiny with sweat.

“Oh god, Pete, your mouth…”

Peter hummed around Harley’s throbbing cock which made the older boy yelp and yank him off by the hair.

“Want more,” Peter whined, trying to take it in his mouth again, but Harley wouldn’t let him. He must be so close, Tony thought, palming his own cock just to get some relief. Usually he prided himself on being able to last however long his partner needed but fuck, he didn’t know how much more he could take. Thankfully, Harley seemed to be in the same position. He dragged Peter up into another searing kiss.

“Too close,” he murmured against Peter’s lips, “wanna come inside this sweet little ass. ‘S that ok?”

Peter nodded vigorously. “I’ve got lube in my room, I can—”

“In the drawer, over there,” Harley interrupted, pointing to his desk. Peter clambered off him so quickly he almost tripped and Harley laughed, but there was no malice in it. Tony got an exceptional view of Peter’s ass as he bent over to rummage through the drawer and could only image how Harley was going to fit his cock in there. Peter was already opening the bottle and squeezing lube on his fingers as he climbed back into Harley’s lap.

“You’re not gonna let me do that for you?”

“Not now. I know how much I need,” Peter said as he reached back to slide two fingers inside him, moaning as he pressed them as deep as he could.

“Well at least let me enjoy the show,” Harley said with a smirk, tapping at Peter’s hip until he squirmed around awkwardly to face the other direction in his lap. Harley groaned and squeezed at his pert little cheeks, spreading them apart while Peter fingered himself open. Tony watched his slick fingers move faster and faster and moaned out loud when Peter added a third, the high-resolution cameras picking up the perfect pink of his hole as it stretched around his thin digits. Harley threw his head back for a moment, eyes catching the camera again, and Tony could have sworn he smirked at it, but he was soon distracted by Harley slipping one of his fingers in alongside Peter’s.

“Ahhh!” Peter gasped, his hips shuddering as he sank down on their hands.

“You have gorgeous fingers babe, but it wasn’t gonna be enough. Come on, press in a little more, that’s it…”

It was only a few more minutes until Peter was whining and pulling at Harley’s wrist with his other hand until he slid his fingers out, letting Peter turn back around and position himself over his cock. Tony almost wished he had stayed the other way just so he could see every inch of it press inside, but this way he got to see his beautiful face. He’d have to invest in some mirrors for their rooms for the future… or maybe more cameras.

“You sure you’re ready?”

“Yeah, yes, please, want it,” Peter begged. Harley held his hips still with one hand and reached down to line himself up with the other. Tony could see the exact moment the head pressed past Peter’s tight muscle as his eyes flew open and he let out a choked-off gasp.

“Harleyyyyyy,” Peter whined, squirming his hips as Harley pushed up into him, getting those last few inches inside. He looked completely overwhelmed, his chest heaving and tears streaking down his cheeks.

“Aw look at you sweetheart, such a little crybaby, huh?”

“Am not,” Peter sniffed, slapping Harley on the chest which made the other boy laugh.

“Thought you said you wanted more?”

“I do! Fuck, Harls, it’s so big, feel so full…”

“Yeah? You like that big fat cock inside you?”

Peter blushed but he nodded fiercely, and he must have squeezed around him because Harley gasped and gripped his hips even tighter.

“Fuck yeah, just like that. Such a little slut,” Harley growled, jerking his hips up and jostling Peter forward. He braced himself with his hands on either side of Harley’s head and moaned as his flushed cock rubbed against Harley’s stomach. “You ready, baby?”

Peter nodded and leaned down to mouth wet kisses against Harley’s neck.

“P-please, move,” he whispered.

Harley started slow, fucking up into him with long, deep thrusts that jostled Peter’s whole body against his own. They tried to kiss but it was too messy, mouths barely connecting as Peter tried to meet Harley’s movements. It was uncoordinated, both of them trying to do what felt the best, and somehow Tony found that way sexier than if they immediately started fucking like porn stars. Peter whined with frustration as Harley kept knocking him out of his rhythm.

“Nnn, stop, lemme… fuck,” he groaned, as Harley grabbed his hips so tightly Tony could see the skin turn white and bucked up into him as deep as he could go.

“So fussy,” Harley rasped. “You wanna take control, hm?”

A flush of embarrassment creeped across Peter’s chest. He was like this even in the lab when they were all working together and he got excited about something, forgetting his sweet demeanour and ordering Harley and Tony around until he realized what he was doing. Tony usually just smirked and gave him a jaunty little salute but he would never tell him how hot it was. He was still shy about it, but obviously his need for pleasure won out and he pried Harley’s hands off of him, pressing them into the mattress.

Peter leaned back to grip Harley’s thighs as he worked his hips, slamming down against Harley, his dick jumping with every movement. Harley propped himself up on his elbows to watch this little display, a sexy smirk playing across his mouth as Peter rode him.

“God, look at you… so fucking gorgeous, baby,” he purred. “You close? Gonna come on my cock like a good boy?”

Tony groaned out loud at that. Fuck, Harley had an absolutely filthy mouth and he somehow knew exactly what to say to make Tony impossibly turned on.

Peter could only nod and whimper, and after a few more enthusiastic bounces he ground his hips down as much as he could, moving them in short little jerks to rub Harley deep against his insides. He must have been pressing right against his prostate because it didn’t take long for him to come with a high-pitched whine, shooting all over himself and Harley. Tony nearly came with him, just from the expression on his sweet face: eyes squeezed shut, mouth open, cheeks flushed… it was pure sin. Peter’s dick was still jumping and leaking when Harley grabbed his waist again and pulled him down for a kiss.

“That’s it, so good for me Pete,” Harley cooed, rubbing up and down his back and he shifted underneath him so he could plant his feet against the mattress. “I’m close too, baby, can I…?”

Peter nodded into his neck, fingers winding into Harley’s sweat-drenched hair, and he wiggled his hips a little just for good measure. Harley let out a grunt as he started fucking up into Peter’s pliant body in short little jerks. Tony matched Harley’s thrusts with his own hand, trying to imagine how tight and hot Peter must feel, how he opened for Harley’s huge cock so beautifully…

“Gonna come, gonna fill you up, so fuckin’ sweet darlin’, fuck!”

Tony got another gorgeous view of Peter’s face as Harley came deep inside him and he snapped his head up with a gasp and a lazy, fucked-out smile, practically drooling as Harley shuddered through his orgasm underneath him. It pushed Tony over the edge and he came moments after Harley, muffling his shout with one hand and making an absolute mess of his stomach. He came like he had been edging himself for hours and had to take a moment to slow his breathing before he could even look at the camera again. These boys were literally going to kill him. His heart could only take so much.

Which is why he nearly full-on passed out when Harley twisted his head around to look directly in the camera with a devilish smile on his face.

“Hi Tony. Did you like the show?”

Peter’s head jerked up again, his eyes wide as he looked to the door where he must have expected to see Tony standing.

“Wh-what, Harley, what are you—”

He followed Harley’s gaze to where the camera was, almost completely hidden unless you were looking for it, and he nearly choked.

“Oh my god,” he groaned, hiding in Harley’s neck as Harley chuckled, rubbing his back to comfort him.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head, sweetheart. He’s wanted this since we got here. Got my phone all set up to notify me when you’re watchin’ the feed of my room,” Harley said.

That little shit.

“Figured I’d just give you a solo show today but then Pete here turned up and… well… happy early birthday I guess.”

Peter was still hiding, but he whispered something to Harley, so quiet the camera didn’t pick up the audio. Harley reached down and pulled his face up with a gentle finger under his chin and nodded. It must have reassured him enough to look up at the camera again although he was still bright red. He bit his lip as he raised himself off Harley’s softening cock, letting it slip out. Tony could see a pool of wetness where Harley’s come was dripping out of him and he groaned.

“I feel so empty already,” Peter said quietly, still staring at the camera. “Maybe you can help me with that, Mr. Stark?”

Harley laughed softly as he sat up enough to press a kiss to Peter’s abs and grab his phone from his night table, and then he cut the camera feed. Tony was left staring at his reflection in the blank screen. His softening cock was hanging out of his pants, stomach covered in cooling come, and his face was red from exertion. He was an absolute mess, but he had never felt so aroused.

“Be careful what you wish for, Peter,” he murmured to himself with a smile, cleaning himself up and already planning his next move.

[streetsofsecretswegone]

@tcpimpabutterfly​   said  :    ✩—Nick & Janie

Under the cut because long!

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice? Janie when she is entirely sick and FED UP of Nick’s trifling ways.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does? I know in my heart that Janie has no problem turning her back on Nick when she feels enough is enough and Nick, who believes he will get over her and look back on her as a fond memory -- has a hard time getting over her. So, yeah, Nick can’t find himself leaving if he says he’s done with all the “crazy shit.”

Who actually keeps their word and leaves? Janie!!

Who trashes the house? An argument can lead to Janie trying to get physical with Nick, him restraining her, her fighting back - things fall and get broken along the way. Chowder is barking and also ready to whoop Nick’s ass.

Do either of them get physical? ^^ Nick would NEVER hit Janie unless he thought she was going to try to kill him forreal. Then he has to knock her out. 

How often do they argue/disagree? Nowadays? Their relationship is fucked up so they argue more often than not. Like, “Nick get off my property.” “Nick don’t post my picture on Instagram.” It’s been a long time since they’ve been civil with each other. 

Who is the first to apologize? Nick!!!!! He’s out here like Usher releasing his woe in confessions, or Jay Z apologizing in 4:44. 

Sex:

Who is on top? Varies, but usually Janie. 

Who is on the bottom? Varrieesss.

Who has the strangest desires? Janie be on that freak shit.

Any kinks? So, Janie’s into safe knife play and rope play. Nick was cool with rope play, handcuffs, but then Janie whipped out the knife and he was like 😲

Who’s dominant in bed? You know powerplay is probably a big thing with these two.

Is head ever in the equation? I honestly feel like Janie isn’t into giving head, like regardless of if she loves her partner or not. I can just envision her pissed at Nick over something petty and she’s like, “my tooth hurts.”/“I’m trying to sleep, leave me alone.”

If so, who is better at performing it? Nick. He felt like giving Janie good head could put him on her good side.

Ever had sex in public? Yes, it leads to some AU babies.

Who moans the most? Janie.

Who leaves the most marks? Janie.

Who screams the loudest? I mean Nicky’s the one getting sliced.

Who is the more experienced of the two? I feel like the two have them have gained a lot of experience from being each others firsts in a lot of ways. They explored kinks together and what not.

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? Fuck.

Rough or soft? Rough as hell.

How long do they usually last? It ends when Janie’s sadistic ass says it ends. 💅🏾

Is protection used? Sometimes. Typically. If they were to fuck now, I can imagine Janie telling Nick that she doesn’t know where he’s been so he needs a condom.

Does it ever get boring? Nope!

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? Strange by JANIE’S standards would be when she slept with Nick at the house he and Jerrold were sharing at the time. Jerrold was gone, of course, but Janie was still trying her hardest to conceal her sneer. 

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children? In a better AU, Janie’s twins were the result of a PRISON VISIT. Nick always wanted to have a family with her, though. If so, how many children do your muses want/have? In main, Janie and Nick have Simone who tells Janie that she’s NOT her mother. In a better AU, Janie and Nick have Leticia and Levi. Nick has brought up the potential of them having a third kid but, I don’t know. Janie has strong reservations with Nick’s record of legal troubles. Who is the favorite parent? Both Nick and Janie are loved well by their kids. Though, granted, Simone loves her dad more on default. Who is the authoritative parent? Both - but in different ways. Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? Nick!  Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? Also Nick.

Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? I can imagine it can be difficult for Janie due to work purposes, and Nick has missed out on a few things due to his prison stint when the twins were 7 years old. There are fill-ins though, like Louis will pop up. Jerrold too because he views these kids as his niece and nephew!! There’s also Sal and Delores of course.

Who goes to parent teacher interviews? Janie has had to go to some alone when Nick was i n c a r c e r a t e d. 😔

Who changes the diapers? Both, because Cassandra specifically told Nick: “how the fuck do you not know how to change a diaper?”

Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? Both, but mostly Nick since Janie is getting ready for work by 4 AM.

Who spends the most time with the children? Nick...because he would have tea parties with Leticia or take her on her annual Friday shopping spree at Toys R Us. Plus, he’s bound to go see the latest superhero movie with Levi, if not play video games with him. He gets really engaged in doing whatever the kids wanna do, and he will be offended if he’s disrupted by it.  I mean really, Sal can say: “the warehouse is on fire!” and Nick replies, “I’m paintin’ baby girl’s finger nails!!” Who packs their lunch boxes? Janie. Who gives their children ‘the talk’? I feel like Janie would jump on it, because she has to tell Leticia to cut their hands off if things are no longer consensual.  Who cleans up after the kids? Janie...has spent some time doing that. Nick isn’t as prompt as he should be. Who worries the most? Nick gets paranoid sometimes. He tends to be paranoid with a lot of things. Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? From............someone in the family. (Cassandra/Cassandra’s kids)

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle? That’s pretty much Nicky.

Who is the little spoon? 😌 Janie because she lowkey likes to feel safe.

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? Nick tends to initiate this shit lmao

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself? Nick.

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? You mean how long can they cuddle until someone has to go to work or someone calls or he tries to initiate sex.

Who gives the most kisses? Nick.

What is their favorite non-sexual activity? Going out to eat Italian Food.

Where is their favorite place to cuddle? The bed!

Who is more likely to playfully grope the other? Nick, though I feel like this question is dangerous.

How often do they get time to themselves? You know in main she ain’t trying to be around him!! But even aside from that I feel like they find the right space and time to be together.

Sleeping:

Who snores? Nicky!

If both do, who snores the loudest? ^^

Do they share a bed or sleep separately? This is verse dependent. Cause they are not at a living together stage yet in main.

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? Dependent. Who talks in their sleep? Neither.

What do they wear to bed? Night clothes. Pajamas. What else? 😤 Are either of your muses insomniacs? Nick can be sleep deprived sometimes, but not a insomniac. 

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? I’mma say nah. Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? Varies! Who wakes up with bed hair? Nick’s been bald for some time now and, I’m certain Janie wears a bonnet. Who wakes up first? Janie at 4 AM! Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? Nick would. 😍😭 What is their favorite sleeping position? Nick likes to lay on his back with Janie slightly on his chest.  Who hogs the sheets? Janie. Do they set an alarm each night? Yes, Janie has a alarm set for work. Can a television be found in their bedroom? Yes.  Who has nightmares? Both. Who has ridiculous dreams? Nick. Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? Nick is guilty of this. Who makes the bed? Janie - because even though she leaves first, Nick isn’t the best at getting the sheets together. What time is bed time? Janie has a more set bedtime than Nick does. Because the night, for Nick, can mean he has some serious work to do. Any routines/rituals before bed? Janie does what she has to do, while Nick kind of just flops in bed.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? BOTH.

Work:

Who is the busiest? I feel like they’re both quite busy. Janie at the news station while Nick is (at certain point in times) a nightclub manager. These are equally demanding occupations. Who rakes in the highest income? I’d say Nicky. Especially since he got that $cozzari money. Are any of your muses unemployed? Nope. Who takes the most sick days? Nick. Who is more likely to turn up late to work? Nick. Who sucks up to their boss? Nick is his own boss soooooooooooooooooo probably Janie. What are their jobs? Janie is a reporter who also moonlights as a serial killer, Nick is a nightclub manager who is also a high-ranking gangster. Together they’re quite the pair! Who stresses the most? Nick, he’s always obsessing with thinking three steps ahead of everyone else. Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? Yes. Are your muses financially stable? Yup!

Home:

Who does the washing? Both. Especially when it comes to getting blood out of their outfits as soon as possible-

Who takes out the trash? Nick.

Who does the ironing? Both, Nick a little more.

Who does the cooking? Nick REALLY likes to go out to eat.

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? Nick, especially if he gets distracted by the kids, sports, or an invasive Jerrold.

Who is messier? Nick.

Who leaves the toilet roll empty? Nick.

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? ...Nick.

Who forgets to flush the toilet? Neither, Nick has been scolded by his mother -and sisters- for forgetting to put the toilet seat down all his life.

Who is the prankster around the house? Those darn twins!!

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? Neither, they’re very prompt when they have to get out or get the fuck out.

Who mows the lawn? Nick - or Levi.

Who answers the telephone? Both, but Nick is more inclined to.

Who does the vacuuming? Both, but catch Nick doing it when he’s trashed the house too much while Janie is away and its important that he speed cleans.

Who does the groceries? Janie.

Who takes the longest to shower? Janie.

Who spends the most time in the bathroom? Janie x3!

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem? Not one bit.

How many cars do they own? Janie has hers, Nick has his - so two.

Do they own their home or do they rent? Own.

Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? Neither.

Do they live in the city or in the country? New York City Baby 😜

Do they enjoy their surroundings? Nick can’t imagine being nowhere else, personally. Yet even with that said, I can imagine that Janie hates half of the population. She’ll find some reason to hate. Some way.

What’s their song? Nick’s so in love with Janie that it isn’t uncommon for him to hear a song on the radio and think about her. I mean, this is a man who made her so many mixtapes in high school. At the moment, Nick lays in bed and thinks of Common’s song “Faithful.” He’s also stared out the window while Jaheim’s, “Find My Way Back” plays. 😔 The main song that made him realize he was in love with her was, “All I Do Is Think Of You” by The Jackson 5 and it still rings true to this day smh

What do they do when they’re away from each other? Work and kill. Kill and work. Janie also bonds with Chowder while Nick bonds with Louis and Jerrold, who are not nearly as wonderful as Chowder!

Where did they first meet? HIGH SCHOOL, English Class!

How did they first meet? They had some boring classroom introductions on day one but Nick didn’t pay her much of any attention. Afterwards, He heard the name Janie said by the teacher, but he thought that the teacher was mispronouncing the name of another girl, Janet. Later, when Janie rose in the class to read something he would realize that she was, in fact, not Janet. Later on they would have their first actual conversation when Nick asked to copy her homework. He had to work a little charm on her too. 😏 because she was like :| “No.”

Who spends the most money when out shopping? Janie. Nick isn’t much of a materialistic man. This was a guy who wore bootleg Bart Simpson shirts when he was a kid.

Who’s more likely to flash their assets? Janie.

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? Janie because she’s evil inside.

Any mental issues? To the roof.  Who’s terrified of bugs? Janie!! Who kills the spiders around the house? Nick has to! Their favorite place? Spaghetti Warehouse because that’s where they had their first date back in the day. Also, there’s specific areas in Florida they love. Who pays the bills? When they’re living separately they pay their own shit. When they live together, Nick has no issue making sure Janie never spends any of her hard earned money. Do they have any fears for their future? Janie may fear going to jail for her murders when she has her kids rgbmvfg Nick doesn’t fear a damn thing. He has a tattoo that says NEVER SCARED because he’s been through so much.  Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? Nick all the way! Who uses up all of the hot water? Janie. Who’s the tallest? Nick at 6′0. He’s even taller than his dad! Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? Nick, but he second thinks that a lot. Who wanders around in their underwear? Nick. Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? jkhnk Nick, especially when those oldies come on. What do they tease each other about? I don’t think Janie necessarily teases, I think she complains about certain things like Nick’s music tastes, his grumpiness with the youth, all that. Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? I think Janie would get so tired of seeing him in that same damn leather jacket. Do they have mutual friends? Chowder is their mutual friend. :) No one else. Who crushed first? I feel like Janie had a crush on Nick that she effortlessly brushed off because he would always do something dumb to ruin it. Like flirt with some other girl in their class and that reminded her men ain’t shit. Any alcohol or substance related problems? No. Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? Nick. Catch him drunk calling her like, “i’m just sayin’ you could do better........” or, “I NEED TO APOLOGIZE”

Who swears the most? Nick doesn’t swear as furiously as Cassandra, but I feel that he does more than Janie all the same.

[krreader]

one idea, one hope.

pairing: lee jooheon x reader fandom: monsta x warnings: non idol!au ; enemies to lovers!au ;  sex ; language ; mentions of underage drinking genre: angst ; smut

summary: your friends were tired of this unnecessary feud between jooheon and you, so they decided to take matters into their own hands to make you two see that you didn’t have to hate each other.

a/n: aaaah, had so much fun writing this, so I really hope you enjoy it!!!

ask box | masterlists | faq | twitter | ko-fi | REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

If your friends are genuine friends, they only want what's best for you at all times.

They will kick your ass if they think it's necessary, but they will also have your back and fight anyone and anything if need be.

However, as much as you'd like them to fight this one, they didn't. Because all of them, literally all of them, didn't think that Jooheon and you should be enemies in the first place.

It had started out in high school.

A few pranks here, a few insults there, but nothing major. It was playful at first, it was as if you'd been married for over a decade and were playfully exploring that relationship.

But over time and once you got older, it just seemed to escalate.

You remember the exact time that it did.

You and a male friend had been out to eat and Jooheon and his group of friends had come into the same restaurant. And for some reason, he just snapped. He said mean things to you, laughed at you and mocked you, but because you were stubborn and didn't back down, you did the same. You insulted him just as hard as he had insulted you, told him that he didn't have to be jealous and that one day he'd surely find a girl who was willing to fuck him.

And that’s how it had started.

Now, whenever you passed each other, you would throw each other death glares and threaten to beat each other up – which you knew would never happen, but the threat was important.

Your friends that were also friends with Jooheon's group of friends knew the real reason behind it all.

They knew that before this turn in events, this playful mocking was a way for Jooheon to show you that he was interested in you.

Again, before that day, the insults were never meant to harm you in any way. He was tickling you or ruffling through your hair, was telling you to go to bed when you looked tired as fuck and laughed when you did something clumsy, but also always kept a lookout to make sure you were okay.

He thought you might feel the same way for him and it would develop naturally.

But when he saw you on that date with that guy, he just snapped and then.. well.

It's been like this for about three years now.

And because life hated you, you were unfortunately working in the same building and were seeing each other more than you could actually take.

But your friends were tired of this and so were his.

They were all tired of you two complaining about the other so much, when they knew it could all be over if you two just talked like the adults you had grown into.

But instead, you remained the 16 year old teenagers that screamed at each other and refused to even try to fix this.

And so at an office party when your boss had his sixtieth birthday, they decided to make you two talk to each other.. or kill each other.

But they had to take that chance.

“Why couldn't you just ask any of the guys? Why do I have to help?” you complained to your friend as she led you into an office.

“It's nothing heavy, I promise. Just.. wait here for a second, I'll get the boxes, alright?”

You let out an annoyed huff and looked around while she ran out. There was a lot of clutter on the floor.. this would surely take a while..

..and why the hell did she want to do that now?!

“I don't understand why we have to do that now,” a voice came from outside, saying aloud what you had been thinking, “Can't we do it tomorrow?”

“No can do,” another voice said and pushed the guy into the room.

And as you turned around and saw who was standing in front of you, his friend locked the door behind him.

Both Jooheon and you walked over to the glass wall, staring at your grinning friends with a confused frown.

“What the fuck do you think you're doing?” you hissed.

“Trust me.. this is for your own good!” she yelled back, giving you a thumbs up.

And even Jooheon's friend did, but when he saw how angry Jooheon looked, he quickly gulped and ran away.

“Great.. I knew this party would suck, but this just makes the night ten times worse,” you rolled your eyes.

“It's not like I wanted to be stuck with you inside a room. This is my worst nightmare, trust me.”

Well, at least you haven't killed each other yet, so.. that was a start, right?

Twenty minutes.

That's how long you lasted without talking to each other.

He was leaning against the window on one side of the room, trying to look out at the city instead of staring at you, while you were lounging in the office chair and turning from one side to the other.

However, you were blunt and stared at him like you were contemplating on how to murder him.

“Let's be honest for a moment.. you followed me into this company, right?”

“What?” he snorted, “Why the hell would I do that? I'm not crazy.”

“Well, I started working here first and then you came two weeks later. It's as if you wanted to annoy the living shit out of me.”

“Don't think so highly of yourself, sweetheart. I applied the same way you did.”

“Yeah, but they approved me two weeks earlier, so,” you grinned and wiggled your eyebrows at him.

However, instead of insulting you, he just laughed and shook his head a little.

Which was odd, because usually he'd fire back.

And that calmed you down a little.. made you less hostile, almost.

For a moment you thought back on the first few years that you knew each other. How he would pull on your ponytail, but then gently pat your head and smile at you.

How you would steal his food only to take a bite out of it and then give it back to him, just to annoy him.

How you would chase after each other with water guns and then playfully mocking the other one when you won.

“How did we end up here, Jooheon?” you asked, surprising yourself by that question.

“Our friends suck, that's how.”

“No, I mean.. here, as in.. like this. We used to be different with each other. Sure, we always kind of hated each other, but not this way. Not as seriously as now.”

He didn't reply right away.. it was as if he was considering whether or not to even say it, but then he admitted: “I don't hate you. I never hated you.”

“What?” now it was your time to snort, getting up and walking around the desk to lean against it, “Is that why you called me a bitch more times than I can count?”

“Well, to be fair, you call me a son of a bitch regularly too, so I think we're even.”

The corner of your mouth raised when he grinned at you and then you nodded, “Touché.”

You watched him think, could literally see the wheels turning in his head and almost wanted to say something again when he said: “I used to really like you, actually.”

“Huh?”

“In school. I always thought we'd end up together or something and before you say anything, I know how stupid that sounds.”

Not at all.. because you used to think so too..

..but then rumors had been going around that Jooheon had slept with this extremely beautiful girl in high school and that's why you had even gone out with that boy on that night everything escalated. You just wanted to heal your heart a little. Because you had been hurt.

“Why did you never ask me out then?” is what you asked instead. Because you had always wondered..

“I don't know.. I was shy, I thought or.. I hoped it would develop naturally and we'd just.. I don't know, make out one day,” Jooheon laughed, turning his head to look at you again and letting out a small sigh when he found you laughing too, “When I saw you with that guy in that restaurant.. when I saw you holding hands, I just kind of lost it, I guess. I said things I regret now and.. well, you remember the rest.”

You bit the inside of your cheek, then you licked your lips and replied: “Should I tell you a secret?”

“What?”

“I only went out with him because I heard you slept with Mihye back in High School. And.. well.. we were always competitive, you and I.”

“You.. went out with that guy to get back at me?”

“So you did sleep with Mihye?” you crossed your arms in front of your chest.

“No.. well.. I mean..-” Jooheon closed his eyes for a moment and tried to think very hard about that night, “Hyungs and I were drinking and don't even lecture me on drinking underage, my parents already did that. We had a bunch of girls over and I was pretty drunk. I don’t remember much, I remember going up to a room with her and she wanted to make out but.. I didn’t want to, because I had feelings for you, but people didn’t know that. They had all assumed that we slept with each other, but we actually just talked.”

“So you're telling me this extremely hot girl wants to have sex with you and you say no?” you were obviously flattered that he had declined because he had liked you, but you were also a bit upset. All of this had only started because of a fucking rumor. However it was too late to be upset about that now so you just laughed wholeheartedly when he blushed, a lot more at ease now, “And here I thought I was a loser.”

“Well, you were the one that went out with that exchange student that every girl wanted to bang just to get back at me, so I think you and I are even,” he waited for a moment, waited for you to stop laughing before he added, “Did you do it, by the way? Sleep with him?”

“After you interrupted our date? No. He never called me back after that night and I can't blame him.”

“So I ruined your first time, huh? Sorry about that, but also not sorry, because you deserve better than him.”

“Oh, is that so?” you raised your eyebrows, licking your lips once more, “In what way?”

“You deserve someone who treats you well. Emotionally, but also.. sexually.”

Okay, how did this go from 'I fucking hate you, don't even look at me' to 'I kind of want to fuck you on that desk right now'?

“And let me guess.. you're that person?” you asked, almost challenging him to come over to you.

“I wasn't the best at giving you what you deserve emotionally, I'm sorry about that. But.. maybe I can make up for it and we can start again?”

You didn't reply..

..but you grinned.

“Come on, hurry up,” your friend said, “We've left them in there for too long, if one of them is dead, it's our fault.”

“Chill, I need to find the right key,” the two of them ran through the hallways, Jooheon's friend fidgeting with the keys and without looking through the glass wall of the office – which they should have – the unlocked the door and burst in, thinking they'd find you and him scratching each others eyes out when instead..

..you were scratching open Jooheon's back, because he was naked, you were naked and he was fucking you on that desk.

And then all four of you stared at each other, with Jooheon still being buried inside of you.

“Uhm.. we.. we were just,” you started, but your friend shook her head right away.

“No, no, no, please don't let us interrupt anything,” she grabbed her co-workers hand and pulled the open-mouthed man back out, “Enjoy yourselves! And we're very happy for you!” and with that she pulled the door closed again and both of them stared at the door.

“Did they just..-”

“Did we just..-” both of them said at the same time.

And then slowly but surely, they turned their heads to look at each other, started grinning and high-fived each other.

Mission accomplished.

[canumoveurseatup-no]

Shin Kicks and Wall Sits

Summary: you’re a brat through and through and you can’t help it. Sam sets you straight.

Pairings: Sam Wilson x Black!reader, slight Steve x Black!Reader (platonic)

Warnings: Cg/L or DD/lg whatever you want to call it, it’s non sexual of course but is still marked at 18+, age regression, spanking

A/N: part 3 to my Avengers Cg/L series, so happy you guys are enjoying it omfg. Please comment and reblog!!

——————

You had way too many sweets and Sam was not gonna be happy when he found out. Steve kind of took over as a babysitter when Sam was gone, so when he said nap time, you weren’t tired, but fake slept until you were sure he was good and knocked out.

You ran around your play room squealing and making a mess with your finger paint, when you heard footsteps you immediately turned invisible and stayed still. The door open and you saw Bucky peak his head in

“I know you’re in here, buttercup. Stevie and Sam aren’t gonna be happy when they see the mess you made in here and the kitchen,”

“Well don’t tell ‘em doofus,” you appeared in front of his face and scared him a bit, making him jolt back

“Can’t do that. Chain of command, if Sam is gone then Steve takes care of ya but if Steve is out like a light then it’s on me,”

You kick him in his shin with a grunt of approval, “No!,”

You turned invisible and ran away, Bucky holding his shin and bouncing on one leg, “Your Daddy is gonna be real mad, Y/N,”

“He’s gonna be even madder at you when he finds out you and Stevie weren’t keeping an eye on me!,”

You run around the compound, invisible to everyone else.

You ran into the lab to bother Tony and Bruce. Moving stuff that they knew they had somewhere else. You tripped Tony and gave Bruce a wedgie. You were wreaking havoc and it was all because of the snacks you had. Those little snack cakes were packed with sugar and Sam hated it when you had more than he allowed but you had a thing for breaking rules.

“Y/N! Stop it!,” Tony somehow knew where you were and grabbed your arm making you visible to the two of them. Bruce went to the bathroom to fix his underwear due to your surprise super wedgie.

“Let go of me, you doofus!,” you kicked his shin and ran away. You were causing all types of trouble around the compound. You put salt in Clint’s coffee, painted Natasha’a taser sticks, put a ton of hot sauce in Wanda’s soup and drew on Steve’s face

You were having a blast... that is until Sam came in and everyone had rushed to him to tell him what you did.

“She practically gave me high cholesterol!,”

“My taste buds are pretty much gone, Sam!!,”

“She gave me a WEDGIE! I haven’t had one of those since middle school!,”

“She kicked my shin!,”

“Mine too!,”

“SHE DREW AN INTRICATE VAGINA ON MY FACE!!,”

“Woah woah woah!!,” Sam was being bumbarded with all of them yelling, “Steve you were in charge of watching her while I was gone. What happened?,”

Still trying to wipe the marker off his face he sighs, “Listen, she was good all day. When naptime came she went to her room and I guess after she woke up, that’s when she went ballistic,”

“Did you stay in the room with her? To actually make sure she went to sleep? You know she hates naptime,”

Steve swears under his breath and sighs, “No, I ended up taking a nap on the couch. Guess she never went to sleep at all,”

“Yeah, she ransacked the whole pantry,” Bucky added

“Dammit guys, you know how she gets around the sweets,”

“She turns invisible!! Kinda hard to keep up with a little if they have a superpower, Sam,” Tony does his famous eye roll

“Well, I manage just fine.. Where is she?,”

“Turning over in her bed with a stomach ache,” Natasha chuckles, thinking that it’s what you get.

Sam went to your room and saw you groaning in pain and turning side to side in your bed.

“Heard you caused quite the uproar around the place today,”

Your eyes flew open at the sound of Sam’s voice. You knew the team had told him everything and that was never good. They know you’re bratty as all hell and never fail to snitch on you.

“I was good, I promise,” you whine while turning over to look at him.

He laughed at your little fib, knowing that was far from the truth, “So what made your stomach hurt?,”

“Those eggs Stevie made, we all know he can’t cook with an electric stove,” you hide behind your stuffed pony.

“That’s not what the mess of fruit snacks and snack cakes in the kitchen are telling me. No one else goes in your pantry, buttercup,” he sits you up and rubs your cheek but you don’t find comfort in it.

When he does that specific rub, you know you’re about to get a punishment.

“Now you know I gotta punish you. You always gotta be bad, why?,”

“I don’t want a punishment,” you stand up off the bed and turned invisible yet again

“Turning invisible won’t save you, Y/N,” his voice was stern and unamused as he folded his arms across his chest. His arms were huge and you loved them but now they looked intimidating.

You kicked him in his shin, hearing him call out in pain before running away down the hall.

You were definitely in for it now.

———

“Daddyyyyy,” You sang as you walked into the kitchen, “I’m hungry,” you rubbed your eyes. You had finally taken a nap.

Sam sat one of your animal face plates, with your favorite on the table without a word. He moved around everyone in the kitchen to make his own plate. It was dinner time, your favorite time of the day.

Everything was oddly quiet though, “Is everyone okay?,” you innocently frown when no one answers, “Hellooo?,”

“Y’all hear something?,” Steve asks

You knew what they were getting at. This had happened before, whenever you got yourself in deep shit and turned invisible they would turn and act like they couldn’t see or hear you when you got yourself together, but that wasn’t the whole punishment, no there was more.

“Hmph,” you slam your fists on the table but everyone keeps going about their business while you whined the entire time. It was your bratty whine, so they knew nothing was really wrong with you, you just wanted attention and they weren’t gonna give it to you because of how bad you’d been today. It’s okay, you and Sam have gone over this.

It wasn’t some harmful punishment to make you feel unloved, this gave you time to think about what you’ve done. Time to wallow in your bad behavior.

“I’m sorry,” you pouted, everyone had finished their dinner and was now just sitting at the table.

“Redwing, you hear that?,” Sam calls over his shoulder, the little flying robot moving side to side as if to shake his head no.

“Redwing not you too!!,” you slam your fists on the table yet again and Redwing just flies away, ignoring you.

“Daddy, I said I was sorry!,” you slump back in your chair and frown. Sam stands up and tugs you by your arm out the chair.

“You finished your dinner?,” he asks

“Mhm,” you sweetly smile to try and get yourself out of this with your cuteness

“Brush your teeth and go to bed,”

Your jaw drops at his words. It wasn’t even close to your bed time. You still had like three and a half hours left.

“I wanna play, I don’t wanna go to bed,” you stomp your foot.

You hated rules and punishments, so you’d be damned if you went to bed this early.

“Buttercup, I said bed, now,”

You lift your foot to kick him in his shin again but he catches it, throwing you off balance but he catches you by your wrist before you hit the ground

“Try and kick me again and I’ll spank you so hard you can’t sit for a week,” he growled. You knew to not play with Sam and his spanks, but you didn’t wanna go bed.

“Don’t wanna go to bed, Daddy! I wanna play,”

“You got your playtime privileges taken away when you thought it was cute to kick people in the shins,”

You squeal in frustration and stomp your feet until Sam turns you around and spanks you in front of the team. It’s happened quite a lot so they’re used to it

“Oooow,”

He pulls you to the wall, pinning your back to it, “Wall sits,”

“Daddy, no! I hate those,”

“Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N- I am not in the mood for your antics. So squat your ass down and sit there until I say you’re done,”

You looked at the team and pouted, “Steviiiie,” Steve was usually there to help get you out of punishments, but not this time.

“Can’t help you this time, buttercup,” he shrugs. Wow, he really wasn’t trying to help you out of this. But could you really blame him? You caused a lot of shit today.

You looked at Sam to see him tapping his foot, waiting for you to get into position. You slide down until you were sitting in a 90 degree angle. You were still whining but Sam wasn’t having it

“Stop crying before I give you something to cry for,”

You immediately wiped your tears and softly sniffled and sat quietly.

“You get 15 minutes,”

“15 minutes?! Daddy I won’t be able to sit that long!,”

“Want me to make it 20?,”

You softly huffed and rested your head against the wall. Sam went back to his seat and they continued their conversation as if nothing happened.

You’re left on the wall silently crying and legs trembling. You decide not to watch the time, you’ve learned that watching the clock won’t help, so you occupied yourself by playing with the fuzz on your bunny onesie.

You hated punishments and you hated for Sam to be disappointed in you. You really tried to be a good girl but for some reason being a brat is your calling.

“Buttercup,”

Your head shot up and you looked to Sam to see him waving you over with two fingers. You sit up off the wall, legs feeling like jelly as you walk to him. He pulls you to sit down on his lap and you immediately wrap your arms around his neck

“I’m sorry, Daddy,”

He pats your butt and lifts your head to make eye contact with you, “What do you say to everyone about how you’ve acted today?,”

You timidly turn your head to see them patiently waiting, “I’m sorry for being really bad today. I’m sorry for kicking you in your shins, giving wedgies, burning tastes buds and other bad things. I understand that my pantry will be locked for a week and my playtime privileges will be limited to thirty minutes every other day now. I’ll be good,”

You twiddle your thumbs as you wait for them accept your apology.

“Well... my crack is still burning from the mega wedgie but... I forgive you, buttercup,” Bruce smiles

“Me too. You got one helluva kick on you, girl,” Tony sighs and shakes his head but the smile on his face tells you that he’s over it

“Hot sauce in my soup isn’t that bad... maybe just not so much next time,” Wanda winked at you and booped your nose making you shy away and giggle at the action.

“I needed new tasers anyway so this gives me an excuse. You’re good in my book, sweetheart,” Natasha kisses your forehead and cleans up the table

“Maybe little you shouldn’t draw such vulgar images but other than that. You’re still good,” Steve planted a kiss on your cheek and headed to bed. They all accepted your apology before Sam took you to your shared bathroom.

Bath time was soothing to your muscles and you still got to play with your bathtub paints.

“I’m sorry for kicking you and throwing a tantrum and running away and... well everything,” you shrug as you realized you really did do a lot of shit today.

Once you’re dried and sat on the counter for Sam to brush your teeth he shrugs himself, “It’s what I signed up for. But we’ve talked about the kicking, buttercup. That’s gotta stop. You can’t resort to kicking and name calling when things don’t go your way,”

You spit the toothpaste out and nod, “I understand, Daddy,”

———

Fresh and clean back in your bunny onesie, you’re laying in bed with Sam, feet moving back and forth as you watch Spongebob and sing a long to the campfire song.

Sam is lowkey taking pictures and videos of you because you’re just too cute for him not to. He sends them to the group chat and everyone is commenting about how serious your face is as you sing, making sure you don’t miss a single lyric.

You know the time is dwindling down for bed time and while any other night you’d fight sleep, you really needed it tonight, especially after the day you’ve had.

You grab your stuffed pony and pull the blankets up to your chin,

“It’s sleepy time,” you mumble, eyes fluttering closed.

“Wow, you’re actually ready for bedtime?,”

“Being bratty takes a lot outta ya, Daddy,” you sass

He just laughs at you and turns the light off but leaving the TV on. You hated the dark while going to bed in little space and watching cartoons while going to sleep helps give you good dreams.

“I love you, buttercup,” you feel his lips softly touch the tip of your nose and you cuddle into him.

“Well, I love you more. No matter how long you make me do wall sits,”

——————

Sorry I didn’t get this up sooner omg!! I’m so sorry, some shut case up omg!

There will be more CG/L Sam! Don’t worry!!!

Please comment and reblog

Tags- @blackreaders-assemble @vozit @babybubastis @yournonlocalpoc @mbaku-babygirl @mokacoconut @spideys-wife @crawlingnightmares @warmchick @here-for-your-bullshit @chonisberonica @valynsia @veryhellshdia @xye-weirdo

[timmyteehill]

Look! It’s [ TIMOTHY “TEE” HILL ]. They have been living in [ NORTH ] Kingsboro for [ HIS WHOLE LIFE ]. They say the [ 23 ] year old can be [ HONEST ] but also [ CALLOUS ], but I just think [ HE ] looks a lot like [ MILES HEIZER ].

BASIC INFORMATION

Full Name: Timothy Hill

Known as: Tee

Age: 23 years old

Date of Birth: 6th June

Star Sign: Gemini

Birthplace: New York

Sexual Orientation: Homosexual

Occupation: Counsellor

Family:

Mother: biological unknown; adoptive Gemma Hill

Father: biological unknown; adoptive Patrick Hill

Siblings: Adoptive older brother, Ben Hill

QUICKFIRE

Positive Traits: Honest and Imaginative

Negative Traits: Callous and Reckless

VICES

Coffee; Tim drinks way too much coffee for his own good and is personally offended if anyone suggests he drink decaf.

He’s scared of relationships and after a bad experience and so has a habit of falling for people who will never like him back.

BIOGRAPHY

TW: Death, Slut-shaming

Timothy never met his parents. His mum gave him up for adoption as soon as he was born and left as soon as she could. She got pregnant when she was sixteen and had no interest in becoming a mother. His father was out of the picture for the whole pregnancy. Tim was adopted by a nice enough couple from New York who raised him as if he was their own. Gemma and Patrick Hill were always nice and made sure he had everything he could ever need. Their biological son, Ben, was a whole other story. Ben was nine years older than Tim and always resented him. He never wanted another sibling and never tried to hide his contempt towards Tim. The older they grew, the more toxic the competitiveness between them became although they were always careful to hide it from their parents.

Tee always found it hard to make friends and school was no different. He was quiet and antisocial, preferring to hide in the library reading a good book during lunchtime than to head to the cafeteria for everyone’s judgement. Many thought he was weird and stayed away from him but he didn’t mind; he learned to appreciate his own company. This willing separation from others caused him to become uncaring and cold. Only one person managed to get through his hard exterior and get him to open up; his best friend.  

When he was sixteen, Tim got really drunk at a party and lost his virginity to a guy he used to have a crush on. It was the first time he admitted to himself that he was probably not as straight as he initially thought he was. He came out to his parents the next day and they were nothing but supportive, making him think things would be okay. His little confidence over his sexuality was quickly ruined when he showed up to school after the weekend and realised the guy he slept with told everyone and lied about some things as well. Tim was seen as the school’s slut. He couldn’t walk down the hallway without hearing slurs and jeers thrown his way. He stayed away from everyone apart from his best friend, scared of letting anyone close. That made his dating life pretty much non-existent.

Even though life in high school was not easy for Tim, he had always been smart and had no problem graduating. He got accepted to a college nearby so that he would not need to move out and be able to stay with his family and best friend. At twenty-one, Tim graduated in psychology with the highest marks, much to the shock of people who knew him. They couldn’t believe the cold and unfeeling Tim they knew could be capable of helping others with their problems and issues. Turns out, he was shit at helping himself but pretty good at helping out others.

When he was twenty-two, his parents were involved in a car crash. His mum died on impact and his dad was taken to hospital. He lasted a few days before even he died from his injuries. Tim was devastated. He turned to alcohol and drugs to get away from it all, risking his career before it even started and pushing everyone away from him. His brother was just as devastated as him and took it out against Tim. It was clear he couldn’t stay there anymore. With nowhere else to go, Tee found himself staying at his best friend’s house, while also trying to ignore his crush on her roommate. It all came to a head when they got high and slept together.

[wistfulcynic]

I would like to ask you 8 for the Fic Writer’s GTKY Game

8 - Any funny/embarrassing stories of people trying to set you up with someone?

ACTUALLY YES.

When I was in college, freshman year (that’s the first year for any non-Americans) my roommate introduced me to a friend of hers from high school, who she swore was perfect for me. His name was (is!) Ben, and I did like him. We had a lot in common, including the same major (history) and similar tastes in books and films. So we dated for a month or so, slept together once, and then basically realised that there was no spark anywhere to be found and sort of drifted away from each other. This was the first month after we started our first year.

From then on, it seemed like EVERYWHERE I went I met people who also knew Ben and also thought he’d be perfect for me. Since we had so much in common we naturally ended up with a lot of mutual friends and acquaintances. It got to the point where as soon as anyone said “I know a guy you’d really like!” I would immediately say “IS IT BEN?” and shut the whole thing down. Which is HELLA AWKWARD when you have to try to explain, over and over, that actually yes you’ve already been there and tried that and there was just no sexual chemistry and CAN WE PLEASE CEASE AND DESIST AND NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN. Finally, in our senior (final) year, Ben and I had a class together. Considering the shared major, it was weird that it took so long, but ANYWAY we sort of by tacit and mutual consent agreed NOT to talk about anything that happened that first month and instead forged a new and totally platonic friendship that actually still exists today, albeit mostly via Facebook likes. We have still NEVER SPOKEN of that first month or ANYTHING related to it 🤣🤣🤣. We are far too midwestern.

Thanks for the ask, my dear!!

-

GET TO KNOW ME WITH AN ASK

[lovemesomesurveys]

When was the last time you ate out for lunch? A few weeks ago at Disneyland. What color was the last swimsuit you wore? I don’t even remember. It’s been several years since I’ve worn a swimsuit. Is your dream job attainable? I don’t have a dream job. :/ Have you ever been to an auto show? No. Have you ever wondered how flies get away from being swatted so quickly? They’re able to fly.

Have you read a newspaper today? No, I don’t read the newspaper. I get my news online or on TV. What was the last thing you cooked for dinner? I don’t cook dinner, but I do make a bowl of ramen every night. It’s my late night food. Do you live in the city/town you were born in? Yeah. Can you remember the last song you listened to? Say So by Doja Cat. Do you have to go to school or work tomorrow? Nope. I’m done with school and I don’t have a job. Have you consumed dairy today? Yeah, the shredded cheese I had with my ramen. Have you slept for longer than usual today? I haven’t slept yet today. It’s 3:39AM, so I’ll be going to bed soon. Have you ever been to a drive-in theatre? A few times when I was a kid. I wish they still had those, it was fun. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? No. Have you consumed alcohol today? If so, what? No. What’s your go-to website when you’re really bored? Bored or not I always go on Tumblr, YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter. Who was the main cook of your Thanksgiving meal last year? My brother did the whole Thanksgiving feast, actually. Do you have a passport? If so, how many stamps do you have in it? Nope. Have you ever been dumped really harshly? Yes. Have you ever taken classes for a musical instrument? Yep, piano and violin. Have you ever been on vacation with someone other than your family? I went with a friend a few times. Do you live with your parents? Yes. Are there any embarrassing school pictures of you anywhere in your house? Not anywhere out in the open, thankfully. Can you do a blackflip, or anything else of that sort? Nope. What moment in your life have you been most scared? I’ve had a lot of moments like that. Do you have any exes you can’t stand anymore? What happened to cause you to feel that way about them? No. Do you ever make your own surveys, or just take them? I just take ‘em. What would your parents do if you told them you were pregnant right now? Uhhh they’d be very shocked and have a lot of questions. I’m sure they’d think I was kidding at first.  Have you ever actually thought you were pregnant? Were you? No. Are you more of a phone or a computer person? Both. I’m a phone person in the sense that I’m on my phone a lot, not for phone calls or text messages, but for other things. Do you like to cook, or do you prefer when other people cook for you? I’m not a cook, so I like when others cook. Well, except for ramen. I like to make that myself. How old do you think you’ll be when you move out on your own? I don’t know. Do you have a job? If so, where do you work? If not, do you want one? I can’t work at this time. Have you ever ripped your pants in public? No. Do movies such as ‘Saw’ and ‘The Grudge’ scare you easily? When I was younger, but nah not anymore. Who do you talk to the most on MSN? I’ve never used MSN. How many best friends do you have? What are their names? My mom. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever been dared to do? Did you do it?  Nothing. Do you know anybody who has a birthday today? Nope. When is your birthday? How old will you be? July 28th. I’ll be 31. :/ Do you change the radio stations repeatedly in the car? I don’t listen to the radio anymore.  Can you drive? Nope. Have you ever thought someone was talking to you, but it turned out they were on the phone? Did you play it off? Lol, yes. I’ve also waved back to someone who was actually waving to someone else. What do you consider to be a good grade? What do you consider to be a bad grade? Good to me was A’s and Bs. Bad was D’s and F’s. Have you ever had a teacher who hated you? No. Teachers loved me, I was a “pleasure to have in class.” Can you remember who your grade 5 teacher was? Did you like them? Yes. I remember crying when I first found out who my teacher was cause I had heard she was a mean lol. She wasn’t, though. I realized that a lot of the time, the people who said that about a teacher were actually the troublemakers. What’s your favourite TV show? I have several. In your opinion, who is the best looking celebrity out there at the moment? Alexander Skarsgard. Do you like peanut butter cookies? Yeah. Do you know anybody that has severe allergies? Yes. Do you have an iPod? How many songs are on it? It’s stored away, but yeah. I have no idea how many songs are on it. I haven’t used it since like 2012. Who was the last person you slow danced with? My crush danced with me at prom, ha. What was the last song you listened to on repeat? Say So by Doja Cat. What’s your favourite song at the moment? Say So by Doja Cat. It’s just so catchy. Do you prefer headphones or earbuds? Earbuds. Do you ever ride the city bus? How much does it cost you? Not anymore, but I had to sometimes back in college. How do you get to school? I’m done with school. Speaking of school, do you like it or hate it? I liked it overall, I guess. Looking back on it now after a few years I can say that, but during it I didn’t feel that way. Are you a social person? Nope. Are you reliable?  I don’t feel very reliable...not now. I used to be. What person/people do you trust the most? My mom. Do you say ‘like’ a lot? Yeah, probably. What is the last book you read? Did you enjoy it? Because of Bethlehem by Max Lucado. Yes, I loved it. Do you buy CD’s anymore, or just download the songs? I just use Spotify. What is your favourite beverage to have in the morning? Coffee. Always. Do you scream out the answers while watching game shows on TV? I don’t “scream” them out, but yeah.

Who in your life do you care about more than yourself? My family. Would you ever consider adopting a child with a severe mental illness? I don’t plan on having or adopting kids at all. Do you have a brother or a sister? If so, are you close with them? If you are an only child, do you ever wish you had siblings? I have two brothers. I’m really close to my younger brother. When was the last time you were with all of your best friends? I see my mom everyday, we live together. We do a lot of stuff together. Do you ever go into photobooths? I did when I was a kid sometimes. Like the ones at the mall. Do you waste money on unnecessary things? I mean, I don’t need to keep buying clothes... I definitely have more than enough.  Which wild animal would you most like to have as a pet? I don’t want a wild animal for a pet. They’re not meant to be pets. What bill do you hate paying the most? Uh, all of them. What's the best place to eat a romantic dinner? Hmm. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar? Never. Name of your second grade teacher? Mrs. K.  What do you really want to be doing right now? I should go to sleep. What did you want to be when you were growing up? I wanted to be a teacher when I was a kid. Gas prices...first thought? They’re high. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you, who and where would it be? I don’t know where, but I’d move with my family. We want to, actually.  Last thought before falling asleep last night? I don't recall. My mind goes all over the place. Favorite style of underwear? Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex?  Hipster for me, boxers or boxer briefs for guys. What errands or chores do you despise? I don’t particularly like doing any of them. Your favorite cartoon character? Winnie the Pooh. Favorite non sexual thing to do with girl/boy? Talk. A secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing? It’s a secret. What was your first car? Never had one. Your best YO MAMA joke? What year is this. Beach or lake? I love the beach.  Who do you stalk on Facebook? No one. Favorite guilty pleasure? I don’t consider anything I like doing to be a guilty pleasure. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about? There isn’t one I’m ashamed of. What's your drink? Coffee. The regular kind and Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink. Do you cheer for the bad guy? I do like a good villain in a movie.  What Hollywood star do you think resembles you best? None. What do you want to do when you are sick? Sleep. Who from high school would you like to run in to? No one. What famous person would you like to have dinner with? Alexander Skarsgard. What famous person would you like to sleep with? I mean... ^^^ ha. Start a new career, or relationship? Neither at this time. Do you go to church? Not at this time, but I do listen to the sermons from a local church that are uploaded every Sunday.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #402

“there’s a space kept in hell with your name on the seat  /  with a spike in the chair just to make it complete”

Have you ever had any really infected injuries? Not an injury, per se, but I've had at least one ear piercing get infected during the healing process. Shit sucks ass. Are you popular on any websites? No. What was the last song you listened to? "Savior" by SWARM. Are you considered popular at school? I wasn't. If you could host your own talk show, would you do it? No. I've got nothing interesting to talk about. If you were starving would you eat food out of a garbage can? I honestly don't know if I could with how squeamish I am about sharing food, even with family. And we're talking about sharing food that's been in the TRASH. Do you know anyone who has changed their first name? I do. Which one of your senses would you be the most devastated to lose? I THINK hearing. I hate silence, so that would just be... haunting. I want to be able to hear people's voices and other sounds. Do you know anyone who has been on life support, and survived? I have no idea. Do your parents have a strong relationship together? God no. They're divorced for a reason. Have you ever read any of Charles Darwin’s works? No. If there was such a thing as a mental health first aid kit, what would you want to be in it? Some ice cream and a Mountain Dew bc I'm an emotional eater, my "graduation" pebble from my partial hospitalization program to remember how far I've come, some cold water to run over my face (or drink), my iPod for music and phone to watch YouTube, a nice, big blanket to turn into a burrito in... that kind of stuff. If you’re in a relationship, are you happy? And if you’re single, are you looking for someone? I'm not actively searching for anyone, no. What is something that people make fun of you for? Always being on the computer. It makes me EXTREMELY self-conscious, and I really wish people would keep their mouths shut about it. Which supermarket do you like to shop at? Wal-Mart. Have you ever been told that your boyfriend/girlfriend wasn’t good enough for you? In the past. Do you think it’s okay to flirt with someone that’s already taken, as long as it goes no further? Fuck no. Do you struggle to say ‘no’ to things you don’t want to do? YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP. Someone attractive is staring at you. What do you do? Probably just kinda smile and blush and look down/away. Are you friends with someone a lot of people dislike? *shrug* Favorite photo search engine? Tumblr for gifs, Google or Pinterest for still images, depending on what I'm looking for. Do you doggie paddle or actually swim in a pool? I'll do both, I think? It's been too long since I've swum. Ever made a snow angel? Ye-ep. Would you ever take up smoking? No. I like having operational lungs. Do you laugh at racial jokes? No. Hate to break it to ya, but they're not funny. Book series you enjoyed reading recently? I've been loving Wings of Fire by Tui T. Sutherland, even if I'm reading very slowly. My psychiatrist has given me a new way to approach my hobbies I have difficulty engaging in, so I'm hoping if I keep it up, my rate of reading will speed up! Are there any keys on your keyboard that have letters fading away? Ahaha, yeah... "a," "s," and "d." A true gamer. How "w" is still alive, I couldn't tell ya. Favorite non-chocolate candy? Sour Punch Straws, probably. The red ones, in specific. Last person you texted? My mom. What did you learn from your first job? That I can't work with people. Favorite website from your childhood? I was a Webkinz A D D I C T. Least favorite flavor of food or drink? Cranberry came to mind very quickly. Least favorite pattern? uhhhhhhh Favorite potato food? Either French fries or Lays wavy potato chips. PC or console gaming? I grew up as a console gamer, so I'm kinda biased. Writing or drawing? Don't make me choose!! I get more satisfaction out of drawing something I'm proud of, but I do way more writing. Who would you put before everyone else? My mom, probably. Lamps, overhead lights, fairy lights, or sunlight? Fairy lights are so cute. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? I shit you not, none. What is your third favourite colour? Hm. Maybe rose gold, or lilac. Can you remember your first phone? If so, what kind was it? I'm really not sure, but I WANT to say it was one of those slide-y, compact Blueberry ones? Who is your favourite character from Alice in Wonderland? The Cheshire Cat has always been very alluring to me. What is the last thing you looked up online? The definition to a word just to ensure I was using it correctly. Have you ever had your fortune read? No. I ain't wasting time or money on that shit. Can you read tarot cards? If you couldn't guess from above, I have zero faith in this kinda stuff, so I don't care to learn. Do you prefer lemons or limes? Lemons. I like lime flavoring in some stuff, though. Are your expecting anything in the mail? No. What would you like to see out of your window everyday instead of what you see now? The forest. Do you own a camera? I do, a Canon EOS Rebel T6. Have you ever written a special note in a book? Yes. Early into our relationship, Jason lent me a book to read, and I wrote a lil love letter in it for him. Do you have any artistic talents? I mean I like to think I'm a good writer and a decent artist. Do you remember the last movie you saw while on a date? Yeah, IT with Girt. It was fun because he's a horror pansy, haha. He did fine, though. What would you do if you found out you were pregnant? Freak the fuck out because I haven't had sex in many years, so that thing's coming the fuck out 'cuz it obviously ain't natural. Favorite thing to get at McDonalds? Look man, I'm shameless, I love me a Quarter Pounder w/ cheese. Plus some fries. :x Do you know anyone named Alex? I know multiple people named Alex, actually. Whose house did you last sleep over at? Sara's. In other words, it's been a loooong time.Would you ever record yourself having sex? God no. Like zero judgment to the people that do, but I get NOTHING out of watching others "do it." I've never actually tried watching porn, but I couldn't have less interest. I know I'd hate it, and a lot. Did the vacuum scare you as a child? I don't think it did, anyway. Have you or would you ever use a dating app? One of my most embarrassing secrets is that I was briefly on Christian Mingle. It makes me want to cringe into fucking oblivion. Who are you most nervous about introducing potential significant others to? My dad. He's... a character. What was the most important non-academic thing you learned in high school? That time fucking flies, so cherish every millisecond. Do you and your friends ever talk about your sex lives? Not really. Even when I was sexually active, I was private about that stuff. I don't care if others talk to me about theirs, but odds are I'm not saying much about myself. What were the best and worst interviews you’ve ever had? What made them so good/bad? I've never had a bad interview, but I mean, I've only had I wanna say four in my whole life. None were anything special either, though. Ever put someone else in the hospital? No. Have you ever sold anything on eBay? If so, what? No. What is the best surprise you have ever had? Finding a container of puppy chow underneath the Christmas tree one year. It was my parents' way of telling me we were getting a dog (which I had been nagging them about FOREVER), and next came Teddy. <3 I miss my boy. Is someone in love with you? I wouldn't know. Ever kiss someone on the first date? No. Ever sleep with someone on the first date? That's a hard no. Do you wear cologne/perfume/aftershave regularly? No. Do you snore? No, actually. Pretty astonishing for someone with such severe sleep apnea. When is the last time someone else slept in your bed? When Sara last visited. How often do you dust? Not... nearly enough as I'm supposed to. Mom gets on me about it all the time. What is the most ‘extreme’ activity you have ever done? Ha, nothing wild, I assure you. I guess riding a four-wheeler through the woods once with our former neighbors, who were good friends of ours.. Have you ever rode on a mobility scooter/wheelchair just for fun? Um, no? That's a jackass thing to do. Some people actually need those. Who’s the most controlling person you know? OH MY FUCKING GOD. OUR FAMILY FRIEND TOBEY. EASILY. She seizes control of EVERY situation, even if she has no right to be involved in it. Does anyone keep a photo of you in their purse/wallet, and if so, who? Not to my knowledge. Do you own a microphone? No. Do you enjoy trailers at the cinema? I do! I like arriving in time to see them. Have you ever been burgled? No, thankfully. Have you ever entered anything into Urban Dictionary? If so, what? No. What’s the last live performance you watched on TV? No idea. Have you ever been embarrassed to buy something from a shop? Not to my recollection. It helps that I'm not the one buying things, like ever. What’s the name of one of your friends’ dogs? Buster! :') He's a precious lil bean. Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. A GIANT CENTIPEDE. That's one pet in the invert community that I have ZERO interest in EVER owning. Those bitches are scary. Have you ever needed to wear a tie? If so, when/why? Nope.