#they should've lost custody already

[vikingpoteto]

you're so real for liking v3

thank you I like Connor Hawke and Mia Dearden a normal amount

[lookingforcactus]

Maybe this is a stretch driven by my hope for siuaraine, but I wonder if the final scene between Suian and Moiraine went the way it did because Suian thinks Moiraine might have turned to the dark

"You lied to me about being stilled."

My eyebrows shot up when I heard that line, bc that's a big deal accusation for an Aes Sedai. And parallels nicely with Alanna and co. accusing Lan of being a darkfriend last episode

Which I know some people hated, but the thing is, Lan and Moiraine have kind of been acting super sketchy, if you don't know the things we know

Like, from Siuan's pov: Lan shows up and tells her Moiraine has been stilled, which in MONTHS of letters, Moiraine never mentioned. Siuan is horrified that happened, has got to be terrified that Moiraine is going to kill herself, and is also lost and hurt and baffled that Moiraine would hide this from her

Like, that omission was a HUGE DEAL, relationship wise. Not a good move keeping something that important from your wife, especially when they were plotting together and it would be 100% reasonable and probably also a good move for Moiraine to turn to Siuan for help

And going back to Siuan's pov, she's dealing with ALL THAT, plus the Dragon, which is another thing she and Moiraine (seem to be?) at odds about

There's darkfriends in the Tower

Moiraine has been hiding something from her

Moiraine has been stilled

The town they're in is assaulted and set on fire

Someone has broken the Dragon out of the White Tower's custody

And when Siuan goes to try to, presumably, get him back, what happens?

She turns the corner and finds Moiraine, Lan, and Rand standing there, alone, in front of a waygate that MOIRAINE JUST OPENED

And I'm sure that normally, this wouldn't make Siuan worry about Moiraine's loyalties, but...she just found out the love of her life was stilled and then spent six months completely failing to tell her about it

Who wouldn't be shaken? Who wouldn't already be asking "If she hid something as big as THIS from me, what else could she be hiding?"

And then she shows up and Moiraine has just used the One Power to open a waygate

Earlier in the episode, when she finds out Moiraine has been stilled (well, close enough), what she says is something like "Six months of letters, and not a single word about that." The very common Aes Sedai route of lying by omission

When she shows up at the Waygate, she says "You lied to me about being stilled."

Siuan thinks Moiraine was able to break one of the oaths. Which Moiraine could only do if she'd sworn herself to the Dark.

And as Lan establishes, the idea of tying off a weave and leaving it in place is so not a thing anymore, it's barely even the stuff of legends. Why would Siuan think that's on the list of possibilities? Especially in such an overwhelming and emotionally fraught and literally things are on fire moment?

And all Moiraine says in response (in her defense there are a lot of things going on) is "I can't"

Which, yeah, Siuan knows that is (supposed to be) the case

And THEN, fucking Lanfear shows up, gets pretty easily talked into not killing Moiraine by Rand, and then Moiraine and Lan follow Lanfear and Rand through the waygate without a word

I think it would be 100% reasonable, actually, for Siuan to suspect that Moiraine is a darkfriend after all of that, and given what she knows

So much of Moiraine's life has been out of Siuan's view, for like 20 years now. So much could've happened

And now Moiraine is using the One Power even after she told everyone that she was stilled

Kind of a guilty look actually!!!

(If this is what they're doing though they definitely should've been more clear/explicit/developed with the setup, tho. But otherwise I think it's really interesting as a potential plot point!)

[iamnotawomanimagod]

EDIT UP TOP re: The Halsey's mom screenshot

the more I think about it and looked into it, the more I really think that that person wasn't even Nicole Frangipane. Their Facebook profile is friends with a Sevian profile that has 4 friends. Sevian actually has a somewhat public presence and would definitely have more followers than that. The "Nicole" page itself only has 54 friends and isn't posting any photos that aren't already available on other social media websites.

aka that shit is fake as fuck, there is no proof whatsoever that that's actually Halsey's mom and that means that's a "fan" spreading some awful shit about Halsey for no good reason.

that's even more reason to NOT share it and to let that shit die. which I'm gonna do, starting now.

okay original post below:

DON'T SHARE THE SCREENSHOT OF HALSEY'S MOM TALKING ABOUT HALSEY'S ADDICTION ISSUES. DON'T TAG H IN POSTS ABOUT IT. DON'T SPECULATE ON SHIT WE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT.

Okay well now I'm seeing that screenshot all over the damn place, including from people who are trying to say that sharing it is wrong.

Honestly, it seems fake as fuck to me, and I'll go into why under the readmore, but for starters:

If that really is Halsey's mom (I have my doubts,) it is incredibly wrong for her to talk about Halsey's personal struggles and air her dirty laundry in a public space when she KNOWS her daughter has millions of eyes on her at all times. The things she has disclosed to that public forum should've remained private until if/when Halsey decided to talk about it. It's a huge betrayal and is made doubly worse by the fact that, if Halsey really has been committed, she cannot stop her mom from talking about her and might not even know that this information has gone public.

And finally, yes, here's the tea so more people don't go seeking out the screenshot, because I know curiosity is a bitch:

Halsey's mom (allegedly, again, I don't know if it was actually her) posted in a Facebook group for addiction/recovery that she's "worried her daughter has relapsed" because "she's lost so much weight, she's irritable, etc" (it's not like she's got a million health problems and is going through a breakup with the father of her child or anything, right???)

In a later post, "Nicole" claimed that H has been hospitalized after a Xanax OD. She also claimed that Halsey just left an abusive relationship, is pregnant with her second child, is in an ongoing custody battle with Alev, doesn't want him in her children's lives, and is still being hospitalized because of a manic-depressive episode.

Reasons I don't think that's actually her mom/I'll be VERY disappointed if it is:

1 - Halsey has spoken at length in public about her struggles with fertility. She would NEVER want her pregnancy announced in this way. If it's early enough, there's still a very good chance H will lose the baby. I doubt their mom doesn't know that. She's a really shitty mom if she decided to spread that.

2 - Halsey's mom has never done anything like this before, in my memory. She's no Dina Lohan. I've never seen her talk about her daughter in public or make statements on H's behalf before. Not even on social media.

3 - The picture "Nicole" claimed was sent to her by her daughter is a readily available selfie from H's instagram. Why would H send their mom a picture of herself that she already posted on her very public social media page?

4 - If they really were hospitalized/committed, and it was verifiable, gossip rags would be all over it by now.

So, in short, we have absolutely no proof that this is legitimately Halsey's mom, and even if it is, it was INCREDIBLY WRONG of her to post about these topics on a public forum.

It's okay to be worried/concerned for Halsey's wellbeing. It is NOT okay to support the spread of this incredibly personal information.

I'm honestly super hesitant to post about it at all, I feel like I am now contributing to the problem, but I would rather people read about it in a post about how wrong it is to spread it, not on the screenshot itself. Idk man. Whole situation's fucked.

[sunshineandlyrics]

I saw "LouisTom" aka 'All Of Those Voices' this evening. Just a mix of thoughts which contain some SPOILERS ..

I haven't been to the movie theatre for about 2 years. The last movie I saw was either Parasite or Mulan live action. Only Louis could entice me back to sit in a public room surrounded by strangers for over an hour.

I really loved the behind the scenes in the studio, Louis talking about music and sharing FITF with his band, and all the interactions with his team. Lottie's comments shows how much she admires and loves Louis. The more you hear about Louis, the more you admire him.

The parts when Louis was talking about his Mum, and around Louis performing Just Hold On on the Xfactor were really hard for me. And Grandpa bless his heart.

Theo Hutchcraft really looks like a cool Vampire.

Oli is a gem. The most understanding friend and goofball mate anyone could ever want. I get why Louis has Oli with him all the time.

Mark Tomlinson quoted Louis saying something of an epiphany while during his Grease days (which reminded me of the Vanessa Hudgens' Austin Butler/Elvis epiphany).

One of my favourite moments was of Louis with his team on the yacht. The beautiful visuals, the chill, seeing some of the food, the band sharing their thoughts about Louis.

I heard Oli and Chris Frewin talking full sentences for the first time, and Oli's voice is not as I imagined and I understood him easier than I do Louis.

Louis has had to overcome his emotions and outside obstacles over his entire career. The documentary shows us the bumpy ride, from getting picked on Xfactor but dismissed and feeling insignificant, then overcoming that by contributing with his songwriting. He was shattered by the break, feeling lost on his career path, the family tragedies, then it's years to make his debut album, only for his tour to be hit by Covid, then tour starts again and his career is eventually on a roll. We already know the history but it's seen with some new insights. His Mum truly raised a man of good character.

The teary eyes didn't make me emotional for a few reasons and didn't make me change my mind because I've been here from the start of this stunt. Louis could've spent so much time between 2016-now (like during XFactor Judges), and especially during the lockdown with the kid but he didn't. Not even the dangerous Californian bushfires inspired Louis to visit the kid, and his team was like no comment on an article.

The scenes with the kid were cute but a bit awkward, and it raised more questions for me. Like why is Oli ALWAYS with them? Why didn't his family travel to America to see him more often if they miss him? Why does he hardly visit the UK, and only for the last 2 Christmases and the only clue of it was via the same pic we saw already posted by one of the sisters? Why is there a lack of unseens of Louis or his family with the kid from between 2016-2021? And the only baby pics were the ones taken in 2016 and already overused in the tabloids.

And my Dude, if 'it gets harder to leave the kid every time' and you get teary eyed talking about it, you should've gotten a lawyer to get full custody, or at least 50/50 years ago. Why does Louis need to travel 20 hours each time to LA for such little time with his own child? Also why none of his American family were with him backstage after the LA concert, just this other kid friend and a guardian (and remember the 'grandparents' and 'uncle' were there but sat separately from him, and potentially had to buy their own tickets to the concert).

It's funny hearing Louis being called both Lou-ee and Lew-is (Doncaster v non Doncaster people).

Given the amount of time I saw Oli and Louis spend with the kid and how they both interacted with him, it would not surprise me if it was later revealed that Oli was the Dad. That would explain why Oli hasn't spend more time in America with him, how the child hardly visits his family in the UK, why he hasn't hired a lawyer for better custody arrangements, because remember people, Oli's only on a PA's salary. And what the hell was that place Louis and Oli were supposedly staying at with the kid. Total opposite of the infinity pool house.

And after I heard Charlie talk twice about the filming having been organic, natural, not set up, etc and watching the 2 sections of the stunt in the docu, it just felt the opposite. Charlie was definitely trolling when he said that. And honestly for me, if these sections with the kid weren't in the film, it would not have been missed because Louis' own grandparents, siblings and childhood friends confirmed to us Louis' love for family and his personal journey. It defiantly felt like filming the kid was an afterthought, rather than preplanned or in the vision Louis or Charlie had in 2019.

Sadly no new insights about either broken arm incidents, no Louis hair and skincare discussions with Krystle, no fashion discussions with Helen, and no Clifford.

They celebrated Steve's birthday too hard in Iceland. His band is funny especially Matt. Mark Gillespie was seen backstage at Louis' LA show.

Familiar frequent flyer 'fans' were interviewed.

Louis loves his Louies, and his whole team appreciate us too.

There was only English subtitles for us. No local language because it was probably not worth translating for a limited screening that could only be used in 1 country.

I left feeling exhausted and heavy hearted seeing his journey, and very proud of Louis for how he kept going to where he is now, and how he has stayed a sweet person, and happy seeing he is surrounded by good people now. It's clear that Louis is loved and respected by those closest to him. As a One Direction fan and Louie, I enjoyed and appreciated this documentary.

This documentary is about a journey, and not a blockbuster, exposé film.

Now I feel so super ready for the tour to start because seeing Louis in concert again makes me miss those loud and fun times.

And remember, Louis is only getting started ...

(22 March 2023)

[boatdriinks]

I've talked about Kerry's kids, so let's talk about Kerry's (ex)spouses. Because this got long, I think I'll do separate posts for each ex-spouse.

This one is about his first wife, Zohrin Kai.

It'd been a while since he dated a woman, but it was clear Kerry was all over her. Kerry the risk taker, Zoh the worrier. Kerry thought she was adorable, and believed she was the sort of person he needed in his life. Someone that grounded him, brought him back to Earth for the sake of his family. They married in 2020 after dating for 2 years.

In the midst of that happiness, though, Kerry knew he was still harboring feelings for his best friend. He was still in love with Johnny when he proposed to her. He was still in love with him when he asked Johnny to be his best man. He had to pry his eyes away from him sometimes at his own wedding reception. He really should've known then that it wouldn't end well. But, he was hopeful. He wanted this to work.

In 2023, Johnny died and Kerry's world collapsed with it. He was still doing poorly when he found out from Zoh that he was gonna be a dad again. Despite it all, though, he was happy. What made him anxious, though, was how close his second daughter's birthday would end up coming before the anniversary. Three days before the first anniversary of Johnny's death, Kelvy was born. He held Kelvy and cried. This was supposed to be about the birth of his daughter, a great moment for his wife and himself, but it still ended up relating back to Johnny.

The cracks became clear by then. Kerry had no excuse for why he cheated on her. He never tried to give Zoh any excuses, just apologies. He didn't fight her when she said she wanted a divorce.

He moved back to his home in North Oak in April on 2026. While on tour in the summer of that year, he'd foolishly end up leaving his oldest daughter, Derry, home alone. In July, he'd find out that she was missing from Zoh. He cancelled his tour, immediately racing home to aid in the search for his missing daughter. Unfortunately, they would only find her body. Kerry's already fragile mental state had only gotten worse.

Zohrin, while sympathetic, still went through with the divorce. In September of 2026, the divorce would be finalized and Kerry would lose custody of Kelvy due to unhealthy lifestyle. Zohrin assured him it'd only be temporary. When he got himself to kick his addictions to booze and pills, when he became more mentally healthy, he could see her again.

While Kerry would understand her actions far later in life, at that time he was just enraged. He'd just lost his oldest daughter, and now his ex-wife was taking their baby from him? He was enraged. Pissed. Hateful. For a long time, there'd be a disdain for her.

Kerry saw Kelvy for holidays and her birthday, but otherwise was not allowed much contact past that until she was nearly 10 years old. By then, Kerry's relationship with Zohrin strictly through her telling him about what their daughter had been doing in her life.

Things would become more civil with time, but neither were ever particularly close to one another ever again after that. By 2077, he hadn't heard from her in about 4 years.

[windflowerofskellige]

Philippa straight up lying to Dijkstra about all of her motives vrs Dijkstra slowly figuring out "hey! Wait! She's using me and everyone else around me and killed our King!" vrs the irreparable damage done to Radovid.

Like i joke that Phil and Sigi are Radovid's divorced parents a lot but like... The events and everything around Dijkstra's leaving Redania and such is a very similar situation to a divorce where one parent gets full custody and the other isn't allowed to see them again. Except Phil was the one who got custody and the objectively worse parent.

Radovid absolutely 100% felt abandoned by Dijkstra. He was absolutely one of the few stabilising forces in his life and Philippa, controlling as she is, got rid of as much of that support system as she could. He doesn't know why Dijkstra left, realistically speaking Philippa played into the "he abandoned you" narrative.

I've said it before I'll say it again and I'll keep saying it til I'm dead. Reason of State would not happen like that! He would not fucking say that! Dude why the fuck do you think Dijkstra came back from Zerrikania? He didn't NEED to be in Novigrad to be a criminal boss and shit. He could've done that in Zerrikania. And Dandelion and Dijkstra's Gwent journey implies he gets back around 1270 which! Hm! When does Radovid become King? Oh right! 1270! You're going to tell me he came back and waited two years to kill a kid who he mentored and cared about? I'm going to have to press X to doubt on that buddy.

The only person in Reason of State acting in character is Philippa who's lost use of Radovid and after Loc Muinne has an even more personal vendetta against him and 100% would not feel any remorse killing a teenager.

Dijkstra would sooner kill Philippa than let her kill Radovid. I DON'T KNOW WHY VERNON IS THERE??? LIKE??? ANAÏS IS YOUR BEST HOPE FOR TEMERIA AND UR OUT HERE LIKE "nope gotta kill Radovid the only stabilising force for the Northern Realms because the well known traitorous bastard Emhyr says we could be the next toussaint" HE'S NOT THAT STUPID. LIKE DID VERNON GET A TASTE FOR ROYAL BLOOD AND JUST GO OFF THE RAILS DUDE WHAT THE HELL IT REALLY DOESN'T ALIGN WITH HIS GOALS FOR TEMERIA. Geralt would not get involved. Especially not with Ciri and the Wild Hunt and everything. But like just generally Would Not get involved. But Reason of State is literally there because Emhyr does Not win the war if Radovid lives which is like objectively hilarious in such a pathetic way. I am a supporter of Emhyr being ides of march-ed by Nilfgaardians you can fucking quote me on that. They don't even want to fight this fucking war!!! But if Emhyr doesn't win the war no empress ciri which is like such a stupid ending to begin with I will not get started on it because this post is already so long.

I think honestly it'd make more sense if Reason of State's questline was Dijkstra and Roche double crossing Philippa (or Philippa and Iorveth who should've been there I'm so mad about that and he has ample reason to want to kill more dh'oine kings) and the moral choice still falling on Do You Kill Radovid? Because it fits with the themes of The Witcher 3 better. And it makes more sense. And they can still have their stupid empress ciri ending.

I'm literally just rambling but I'm thinking about this again and SO mad about reason of state

[noah-atwood]

NOAH ATWOOD

Full Name: Noah Daniel Atwood

Nicknames: n/a

Pronouns and Gender: He/Him, Cis Male

Age and Birthday: 28 years old, December 27th

Birth place: Aurora Bay, California

Sexuality: Biromantic Bisexual

Status: Single

Occupation: Paramedic & seasonal lifeguard at Blue Lagoon Pool

Education: High School Diploma + Paramedic Schooling

Residence: Fisher’s Cove

Time in Aurora Bay: 28 years

Face claim: Justice Smith

tw: parental death, drug use mention, abuse, custody battle

HISTORY —

Noah had been born December 27th, to a mother who passed during birth due to complications, and a father who had to find a way to feed a hungry, newborn baby when putting food on the table had already been hard enough. It was a difficult feat to accomplish on his own, so of course the aid of his grandparents was necessary while his father took to working two jobs.

For this reason alone, Noah looks to his grandparents as the people who raised him. He gets it now — SoCal is an expensive place to live — but as a kid he oftentimes neglected to mention he even had a father. Not out of spite or anger, just the simple innocence that his grandmother picked him up from school and packed his lunches while his grandfather prepped him for his youth soccer association.

Until his teens, Noah found himself spending most of his time outside of school and after school extracurriculars at their house. He'd fall asleep on the couch there, wake up in his own star and planet patterned space blanket beneath the glow in the dark constellations hanging from his popcorn cieling. And when he'd gotten old enough to tend to himself, he would still visit… outside of seeking out food banks so he could try and make his own meals and, maybe, some to surprise them with as a thank you for all they've done.

By fourteen, his father met another woman and quickly moved her in. Things were fine, but Noah felt rejected in a sense. That time and effort could be put into her, but he'd been dropped elsewhere so things were 'easier'. Turns out, it had been for the better, because he'd learned through the walls his booming voice, and her trying to yell back and hold her own.

Things he might've been wise to had his mother survived delivery, and he never spent days upon days in the care of his grandparents. He barely knew the woman, but it made him sick to his stomach that he couldn't do a thing to help her.

Noah did try once with a 911 call. She lied for his father, though, and nothing happened beyond the brief accusation of it being him who called. It had been a fortunate thing she insisted the neighbors must have overheard their arguing, so it had been put to bed. After a few days of reprieve as a result for the police visit, the fights started again. There had been months of it, it became the new-norm. He fell asleep easier, but his grades did begin to suffer just as his social life. He withdrew in school, got fidgety, and lost his desire to pursue any sports.

He came home the day of his sixteenth birthday to find her nodded off, with a needle sticking out of her arm. Lethargic and like a ragdoll, vomit down her front, Noah panicked. For the first time since the only phone call he'd dialed out to emergency services, he called for an ambulance. For the better, too, as they were able to revive her and bring her to the nearest hospital for medical treatment.

Noah's father didn't appreciate this as he worried it put a target on him. As it turns out, there was a few narcotics stashed in his room. An argument ensued, Noah defending his decision, his father belittling him for putting his nose into someone else's business, and Noah swung on him. Once, twice, three times until he was down.

His vindication quickly turned to panic and terror and he ran to the safest place he knew. The one he should've ran to long ago: back to his grandparents' home. As expected a custody battled followed, and was easily won so that the remainder of Noah's years as a minor he was to remain in their care, and his father had no claim. If asked, however, Noah doesn't regret that time back living with his father.

For as short as it was, and how his own mental health started to fall off, he recognized that at the very least he'd done something to save his dad's (now ex) girlfriend's life. Like he'd been meant to be there to make that phone call. It also is the very thing that pushed him into his current career.

Becoming an EMT was his first step, starting as a cadet and attending courses for CPR certification and emergency first aid. His hours put into that had been strictly volunteer to begin, so he also worked part time at the local pet store for cash. His grandparents supported this venture. He wasn't charged rent or any money so long as he continued his efforts to stay on this path.

Noah inevitably put himself through paramedic school, and it had been the happiest he ever felt. He wanted to learn more and do more, and this was where he could begin. He passed his tests with flying colors, and he may have not been top of the class in the fitness assessment, but he rolled through it effortlessly enough. One year of schooling, Noah became a paramedic by twenty-three years old.

TRAITS.

+ Ingenious, sensible

+/- Disciplined, neutral

- Sarcastic, self-critical

HEADCANONS.

⊹ Noah might live in Fisher's Cove, but he frequents his grandparents' home in Seabrook Quarter to drop off meals and pay them surprise visits.

⊹ Noah rarely drives the rig as he prefers to handle the patients in the back. He's oftentimes chosen to fill out the paperwork as his handwriting is meticulously neat.

⊹ He has a three-legged, long-haired tabby cat named Stanley that is ten years old. He adopted it from the shelter when he moved into his own place so that he wouldn't feel so alone.

⊹ He cannot stand the taste of poultry, but is always down to order a double cheeseburger from the bar. Burgers and pub fries, thank you.

⊹ Noah has a mild fear of heights. Not so much that if he is in a building at the tenth floor looking out he panics, but he will not be the one opening the blinds, thankyouverymuch.

⊹ he also has a strong aversion to ketchup.

⊹ he has a stomach of steel until vomit is involved.

CONNECTIONS.

romantic connects will be added in the future once I get Noah more established. Once again, a brand new babe, but I am open to working on it if chemistry and heavy plotting occurs. Aurora Bay native, he has room for friends, ex-classmates, or even any potential enemies. I’m down for exes, past hook-ups, etc. just need to be plotted out more. If you think he can fit anything for your muses, by all means. He isn’t a wallflower, but doesn’t necessarily put himself out there. He has a tendency to project his morals on others and has high expectations of those around him which can make him very easily disappointed.

♡ @priyaxdesai - childhood best friends that were inseparable.

♡ @hcnter - high school best friends who look after one another.

♡ @christinaxwagner - tba.

♡ @dancingdanvers - in high school they were paired up for a group project, and sloane took the slacking route while relying on noah to get it done. this sparked a disagreement between them, and tension lingers.

♡ @nomadjones - noah respects and admires dallas. fellow first responder and soccer fan, there isn't a moment where noah doesn't find comfort in dallas's presence. he enjoys the time they spend together scrimmaging out in the field.

♡ @firefighterrojas - fellow first responder and PoGo partner, angel is a steady and comforting presence.

♡ @atticus-cortes - long term friend first, ex-boyfriend second, and now they're trying to do this awkward dance to figure out where each other stands after mutually agreeing to call the relationship off.

♡ @willxmeyers - patient of that noah saved on scene after an OD incident at Oasis.

♡ @emersonxcassidy - noah met emerson at the pumpkin carving station, and they hit it off. she is a soft, sweet soul that he looks forward to seeing anytime they meet up. they are both quiet and gentler, and with the added relation of being cat parents, there isn't every a lull in conversation.

♡ @noralevin - she stole his crayons in grade school, and he's never forgiven her. (they were the 64 color, Crayola box with a built in sharpener, thank you.)

♡ @edietello - worked the masquerade, noah just hopes she's doing alright. he really does.

♡ xxx - tba.

LINKS.

⊹ pinterest

⊹ inspo

⊹ playlist about noah

@aurorabayaesthetic

[sunshinexlollipops]

Just read your post about Kyle. Do people really not see your comparison? You're saying that George Floyd was determined guilty enough to deserve to die over accusations of a counterfeit 20$ bill, and Kyle is found not guilty in spite of traveling to the area, arming himself, and seeking conflict that resulted in him using his weapon that killed 2 people.

yep! precisely anon. (also slight TW for rest of post.)

it's funny how the metric changes based upon who agrees with them and who doesn't.

now, I didn't word it as well as I should've, because I could see how people could think I said George Floyd got no justice.

but the point was that the right says George's death was fine and excusable bc he was a criminal committing a crime -- despite this being an accusation at the time.

(which is so ironic considering their "innocent until proven guilty" chant.)

then, they find "excuses" such as drug use and other things that "rationalize" why police suffocated him for 10min until he passed.

they painted George as a criminal over something as simple as saying he had a fake $20 bill and drugs in his system, and his rightful punishment was death.

but Kyle can go out of his way to insert himself in the situation, aim to cause conflict, arm himself with weapons, and even intended on shooting people before even arriving in the area.

(idk how you can predict you need to shoot someone out of self-defense, bc he's on record for already intending to use his gun to shoot/kill protestors days before interacting w anyone.)

the right doesn't see their actual aggressors as aggressors.

hence "any crime is alright if you're white."

that's why the cops had so much support from the right when the George Floyd murder trial started.

yes, they were held accountable at the end, but it was fought for. justice almost wasn't given.

and the right doesn't agree with the cops being found guilty, as they say they've done nothing wrong, just like Kyle.

the right says Kyle also deserves pity and sparing, and he is just a child.

but then black kids like Treyvon Martin are not spared or given pity. they said this 17yr old child deserved to die bc he was "violent" and a "thug." Treyvon wasn't even armed, and was still shot and killed by a man with the same agenda as Kyle.

I had someone in the notes bring up Breonna Taylor's boyfriend, Kenneth Walker, saying his self-defense claim should be negated since I personally negate Kyle's.

which is a completely incomparable situation, considering Breonna and Kenneth were shot at by police while sleeping and without announcement they were police. additionally, their suspect was already in custody, and they were at the wrong address to boot.

all Kenneth knew is that guns were being fired into his apartment, and his girlfriend was shot and murdered in her sleep.

it's all about painting the VICTIMS as the guilty party, and that's EXACTLY what they did with Kyle's case.

the point is: George Floyd, Joseph Rosenbaum, and Anthony Huber lost their lives unnecessarily, and THEY are painted guilty when they are simply reacting to what people like Kyle do to them.

the right says murders such as these, it's always self-defense.

but really, people like George Floyd die trying to defend themselves from people like Kyle.

the only thing Kyle is defending is the ability to use this system to his advantage, and harm those that he thinks deserve to die, simply bc they don't side with or look like him.

I'm just very disappointed with the world and the way that the justice system is literally Black and White.

[morbid-n-macabre]

Detroit, Michigan,

On March 24, 2015, Mitchelle Blair was arrested for the torture murders of two of her four children. In August of 2012, nine year old Stephen was killed; on May 25th of 2014, his 13 year old sister, Stoni, lost her life. Mitchelle says that, though she meant to cause Stephen severe physical harm, she did not mean to kill him; she openly admits to intentionally murdering her daughter, Stoni. Mitchelle was only arrested after her children's remains were found piled on top of one another inside her deep freezer after being evicted from her apartment.

There's little doubt as to what transpired inside that home as Mitchelle absolutely confessed, multiple times, with zero remorse. She speaks of her 2 murdered children as if they were strangers, saying that they are not her children; she refers to Stoni and Stephen as demons.

The mother starved her children, kicked and beat them, sometimes with a stick. She not only sprayed Windex on their wounds but made them drink it. Mitchelle beat them with an electrical cord, and actually burnt their genitals with scalding hot water to the point that Stephen's skin actually came off. Stephen was even lifted up off the groups with a belt tied around his neck until he passed out; plastic bags were placed over both children's heads until they lost consciousness, then she'd allow them to recover and suffocate them again. This was done over and over again. According to the medical examiner, Stoni literally suffered too many injuries to the head to count; both children had broken teeth and severe burn patterns. And it's not like all this was done in a day or two, this was long, drawn out torture at the hand of the one person in this world who was supposed to protect them.

When Stoni and Steven were dead, Mitchelle forced her oldest daughter, Gabby, to help her move their bodies to the deep freezer kept in the living room. Can you imagine that?

Why would a mother do this to her own flesh and blood? To get them to confess to sexually abusing their 6 year old brother, Matthew. The more stories Matthew would tell, the more violent Mitchelle would become; at first the children denied what Matthew claimed they'd done to him, but eventually they just admitted to everything. It's been proven time and again that even mentally sound grown adults will eventually falsely confess to anything after enough torture; these children would have said and done anything to stop the abuse. There's absolutely no physical evidence or anything at all which indicates that Stoni or Stephen ever abused their little brother. It was likely all a story, maybe this was Matthew's way of keeping himself safe from his mother's anger? There's much evidence pointing to prolonged abuse and neglect of all 4 of Mitchelle's children. There were healed scars on the surviving two, and they were all extremely malnourished. And the neglect- the subsidized apartment they were evicted from was filthy, overflowing with bugs, excrement, and trash.

Mitchelle Blair was raped and abused as a child herself, she told her mother about it but nothing was ever done. As a young girl she was forced to see her abuser, her mother's female friend, day in and day out even after she told her mom what the woman had done to her. She is, understandably, still very angry about this.

Mitchelle's children knew this was a major trigger for their mother; she'd had in depth talks with them about her sexual abuse, exactly what happened, and how it made her feel. They all knew that this was the very first thing they could ever do- the one thing their mother would lose her mind over.

Mitchelle is adamant that, no matter how awful her children had it, her own childhood was worse. Just think about that for a moment.

It's also astonishing that no one noticed that 2 of these kids were missing. The children's fathers were mostly absentee. Stoni and older sister, Abby, have the same father; Matthew and Stephen shared another. Steven Berry Sr was in prison for years, when released in 2014 he asked to see his sons. He was permitted to spend time with only Matthew, but not Stephen Jr. Mitchelle told him that young Stephen was angry his father because he had not made contact in so long. Steven Berry had no way of knowing that his son was already dead in the freezer.

The paternal families were not involved, and apparently Mitchelle was able to deflect her own extended family and neighbor's questions; how she got away with not sending the kids to school is anybody's guess. My point is, someone should have noticed 2/4 of these children were missing, action should've been taken.

Maybe the most frustrating part of this case is that it all should have been avoided. DCF had undeniable knowledge that there was severe abuse in the home. The Dept of Children and Families had received a number of complaints through the years that Mitchell's 4 children were abused and neglected. In one instance it was reported that one of the girls had burns on her hands; later a complaint about bruises on the children was made. One 2015 investigator's notes stated that there was definitive proof of abuse; despite all this and the shape of the home these kids were forced to live in, the children were never taken.

Mitchelle is serving life in prison, which is what she asked for- Life with no parole. She says that if her state had the death penalty she would've requested that sentence. She is very open about everything she did to her children; she has never shown any remorse, and can be quoted saying, “If I had a chance to do it again, I would”. The only time she became angry when confessing to the judge was when the prosecutor mentioned that there's no proof at all indicating that Matthew was ever sexually abused. The fact that people can and often do falsely confess- especially young people- doesn't seem to compute for Mitchelle.

There is an update since I last posted about this case: Mitchelle has since lost custody of her surviving children. Yes, she fought to keep it. The oldest surviving child, Gabby, now a high school graduate, has legally severed her relationship with her biological father. It's noted that this may have been done so that she can receive the counseling she needs and her college education paid for by the government, which she is attending. Bless her heart, I hope she succeeds in life. Her father, Alexander Dorsey, is suing the state and DCF over Stoni's murder.

Matthew has since been adopted out, the name of his adopted parents or whereabouts are not known. Hopefully he was young enough to recover from all this, though he witnessed everything.

The judge presiding over their cases has said that both Gabby and Matthew are "thriving" today.

Mitchelle herself is not having an easy time at Huron Valley Correctional Facility. She only spent one full day in general population; on her second day she beat up another inmate, since then she's had nothing but trouble. On more than one occasion she's been reprimanded for throwing her human waste at officers- her tray slot remains locked so that she can not do this again. Mitchelle is so violent that she wears a mask when taken out of her cell.

*If you're interested, this is the link to the court proceeding in which Mitchelle confesses to the judge. Be warned- it is graphic and extremely upsetting. If you'd like to hear exactly what Matthew claimed Stephen and Stoni had done to him, you want to see this. I did not repeat any of that in this post, it's too graphic.

https://youtu.be/__gZbb0pQvw

What do you think? Did the older children abuse Matthew? And IF they did, where did they learn that behavior from?

[kangaroo-r00]

Fake Smiles, Fake Happiness

(A/N) Since today is World Mental Health Day I decided this would be a message to everyone who struggles with some kind of mental health issue. Please seek help before it gets to the point where you don’t want to live anymore or some other point that is very unhealthy. You always have people who care even if it doesn’t feel like it. I care for one, even if I’ve never met you. Stay strong <3

WARNINGS: This story contains themes of depression, suicidal ideations, disregard for one’s health/self harm, alcoholism, drugs, divorce, an unhealthy relationship with one’s ex that involves verbal abuse, and a suicide attempt. 

Please don’t read if you’re not in a great mental space currently or if any of these things trigger you. Take breaks if you need to while reading this. Stay safe.

The last past few weeks were hard. He'd been kicked out of his own house, Stacy leaving him voicemails and texts every day talking about how she'd make sure that he wouldn't get custody of the kids and how much of a failure he was. Jackie was out on patrol more now than ever and whenever he was home, he was passed out on the couch. Marvin practically lived at the theater venue. Schneep was spending every waking moment working tirelessly, whether in the hospital or down in the basement testing new experiments or filing paperwork. To say Chase was lonely was an understatement.

All the others were too busy with something or another to hold a proper conversation. It was getting to the point where he wasn't feeling as well as he used to, his schedule—the one he had meticulously planned with his camera crew's help—slowly being unraveled as he ignored some tasks and plans every day, opting to do less and less. He supposed he could organize a meet and greet with some fans. At this point Chase would do just about anything for a proper conversation and some physical contact.

As soon as he tried to gather his thoughts and what little motivation he still retained to try and get together with some fans, he quickly found out he was too tired and didn't want to leave the house. Just the thought of going out in public and being around people made him exhausted. Fucking dammit.

Loneliness ate away at his mind, his insides remaining twisted painfully tight. He'd done everything he could to ignore it: working on his videos, watching TV, sleeping, taking walks.... Everything just reminded him of how lonely it was in a house with three other people living inside it. As much as he loved the three dogs and curling up with Cuddles—the bear Marvin had gifted him—he really needed human contact and soon.

Nobody really noticed it when Chase slowly began spending more and more time in his room. It was gradual enough that with all the other shit happening nobody noticed he came put less and less often for food.

It was miserable being so alone. He wanted nothing more than to go start a conversation with the others but he didn't want to bother them, because what they were doing was important.

It was embarrassing how clingy he got when he was feeling like this. Marvin had barely said good morning to him and then suddenly he was trying to drag the conversation out for long as possible, asking Marvin what he was planning for the day, hoping on the off chance he'd ramble. The feeling that bloomed up inside him when Marvin had dismissed him, saying he had a lot to do and couldn't stay and chat was—the best way to put it—crushing.

He had a nightmare that night. Something about mocking, glitchy whispers, grasping hands clawing at his shirt, tainted memories, and repeated words. He woke with a surprised jolt. 

He didn't feel like going back to sleep after that.

He lost the court case trying to gain custody of his kids. He was allotted a full week every month with the two... except Stacy got to chose when he'd get to see them.

He cried the rest of the day and drank until he couldn't remember why he was even crying and drinking anymore.

He went into work with puffy red eyes and a strained smile. It was clear in person that Chase wasn't doing too well but if the camera was far enough away then it'd take someone who could pick up on detail and body language fairly easily to be able to notice something wasn't right. 

After the first few lies he told, his camera crew finally stopped asking him what was wrong. They got used to him crying in the break room before and after shoots.

When Jackie finally announced they all had to eat dinner together like a "goddamn" family, Chase had all but jumped at the opportunity. Finally. Ignoring a dinner summon was practically a sin in the house. Except two did anyway. 

Schneep used the excuse of not being able to take off work and Marvin bailed, saying he had a meeting with the stage crew or whoever. That was fine Chase told himself, there was still Jackie.

Sitting at the table with Jackie, chatting every couple minutes when the two managed to come up with a non depressing topic was the best he'd ever felt in a while. While Chase was hurt the others skipped, he was so glad he got to talk to Jackie. When Jackie was in the middle of discussing what movie they should watch, his work phone rang. Something important. He looked guilty about having to cut dinner short and cancel whatever they'd been planning but Chase waved him away, insisting it was fine and that Jackie needed to go. If Jackie noticed the lie, he didn't show it.

As soon as Jackie left, the hole in his chest returned and the bad feeling settled all throughout his body.

He told himself he needed to stop relying on other people so much.

He stayed that way for another week until Jackie insisted everyone had to join in on dinner. Said how Schneep’s paperwork wasn't going anywhere and if something went wrong at the hospital then it'd alert Schneep's phone.

Nobody was in a good mood. Marvin was pissed that Jackie had literally dragged him back home while Schneep wasn't any better. Chase himself wasn't feeling too great either. He was on the verge of falling asleep sitting up, eyelids heavy but a pounding headache was keeping him awake. (He'd wanted to skip but Jackie dragged him out like all the others.) Jackie was put out by all the other's moods.

The dinner table was uncomfortably silent, Jackie having given up small talk ten minutes ago, air tense. Marvin and Schneep fumed silently, Marvin refusing to eat and Schneep trying to finish everything as quick as possible. Chase had given up any pretenses of being interested in the food, leaning on his arm propped up on the table. 

So tired... it was hard to not fall asleep. Chase knew it was a bad idea to be drawing out his blinks for so long, eventually his eyes would refuse to open and the blackness would drag him down down down and he'd wake up with the same headache but worse...

"Christ guys," he heard Jackie mumble next to him. "Lighten up a bit."

His brain processed things sluggishly slow but by the time he realized what the other had said, Marvin was already shoving his chair back and snapping angrily. Then Jackie was on his feet followed by Schneep, and holy shit everything was going to hell and Chase had a front row ticket to the shit show. Everyone was at the end of their ropes and it was only a matter of time before something did or said something they regret.

If Chase's head hurt before then it felt like it would explode now. He squeezed his eyes shut, the yelling of the others making everything worse. The headache, the loneliness, the painful memories, it wouldn't stop—

He put his hands over his ears, hissing as it didn't block the noise out all the way. The sounds continued to slither past his hands and into his head.

Nobody noticed the shudder that wracked his body nor did they see him shove his seat back and stagger to his feet. Ducking his head down and darting out of the room, he did his best to race to his room without crumpling into a heap right away. They did however hear the slam of a door upstairs though it didn't end the argument.

Chase didn't leave his room for a day or two after that.

He drunkenly played Russian Roulette for the first time. Not like he could remember most of it. All he knew was the next shot would've killed him.

God favors drunks...

Please, if that were true, Chase should've been dead already. Either with a bullet lodged in his skull or by drinking himself to an early death.

Another nightmare, but this time it involved his brothers abandoning him, saying he needed to grow up and get over it. He woke up and reached for the bottle of whiskey on his bedside table.

Schneep prescribed him sleeping pills. He hadn't meant to let it slip that he had been having somewhat frequent nightmares and that he had been having problems sleeping but once Schneep had commented on the bags under his eyes, everything just slipped out. Oh well... maybe he could finally sleep for once.

He doubted it.

A soft knock at his door. He heard it but it didn't register in his mind. In one ear and out the other. Even if he had registered it, he wouldn't've answered. He felt too tired to talk.

"Chase?" The voice wouldn't register in his mind either. Sounded familiar though. He just couldn't put a name to it. His brows furrowed as he tried to think. Tired.

"We're all going out to eat. You need to get ready." Ah Jackie, that's who it was. "None of us are getting out of this this time."

Bullshit. If anyone was getting out of it, it was going to be Chase. He wasn't above crying to get out this at the moment. If he even could anymore; he felt too tired to even cry—he's cried too much recently.

Another set of knocks, more insistent than before. "Chase seriously. We're waiting on you. We've given you seven minutes to get ready." Really? Did he zone out or had he been half asleep the first time? A twist of the doorknob. "Really? Locked? You do know I can pick locks, right?" A pause. "Are you even awake?"

He didn't want to leave his bed. The nest of blankets piled on his bed were so warm and the pressure of the weighted blanket was nice. Felt like someone was hugging him.

"Jackie, we should go." Marvin. "He's probably outside taking a walk. You know he locks his room when he leaves the house."

(Yeah ever since he had gone out with his kids on one of his days with them and Marvin had snooped through his phone. He didn't know what he'd do if they found his revolver and another bottle of whiskey hidden in his nightstand drawer.)

"Just shoot him a text telling him he's free to join us if he wants."

"I haven't seen him leave the house all day, Marv."

"He could've left before you woke up." The magician reasoned levelly. 

"That's been over seven hours ago!"

"He's a grown man. He can take care of himself."

Jackie scoffed. "Really now?"

Okay, that hurt but... in his current situation..... touch��.

"Even if he's still in the house, just leave him be. He's clearly not answering for a reason." Seems like Marvin knew what was up.

"... Fine."

Then he was alone again.

He took two pills to help him sleep. When they didn't work fast enough, he took another two.

The others were several paces ahead of him, talking animatedly about some topic Chase's brain was too fried to decipher. Hearing the joyous laughter hurt his hurt and made his intestines twist themselves into bows. He wished he could laugh that carefree again, if only once more.

It was a dreary day—light drizzles of rain, somber clouds blocking the sun, and fog settling close to the ground. (It matched his mood... huh.) Most people were inside today but not him and his brothers. Jackie insisted that today was an excellent day to take a family walk. This time the others agreed. Here they all were, walking down the sidewalk of some busy street, his brothers donning umbrellas and raincoats.

Chase was the only one who wasn't in a raincoat and carrying an umbrella. Schneep had complained how being cold would allow the bacteria in his body to get him sick but Chase really didn't care. So what if he got sick? Not like it mattered anyway. Nothing mattered. 

Cars zipped by, headlights slicing through the fog as they passed. There was something truly transfixing about the repetitive process the cars did. He slowed to a stop, staring blankly at the street, cars passing through his vision.

He could do it. It'd be easy. All he had to do was step out into the street. They wouldn't be able to stop in time. It'd all be over. No worries, no pain, no more feeling numb, no Stacy, no more waking up no more feeling useless, no more hangovers that incapacitate him the whole day only for him to drink more later that night. It'd be like sleeping forever. He liked sleeping, it was like everything paused, frozen in time. Do it, do it, do it, you coward. Just a few steps and close your eyes. It's so easy. Even he couldn't possibly fuck something this easy up—

A violent shake to his shoulder dragged his attention away from the headlights. He turned to see Marvin by his side. He looked annoyed.

"What the hell, Chase!? I've called your name over five times. We're all waiting on you. What are you even doing?" Right... he was an inconvenience... a burden.

Chase's mouth went dry as he tried to come up with a reasonable explanation.

He knows, he knows, he knows. He's suspicious, he knows what you were thinking, he knows what you were about to do.

"I-I..." Suddenly for the first time in a long time, a wave of unexplained anger washed over him. How dare Marvin act like he doesn't already know how much if a burden he was? Why should Chase have to explain himself to someone who doesn't care?

"Well if I'm such a fucking inconvenience then leave me behind!" He yelled, startling Marvin into taking a concerned step forward. His shout carried over the roar of the cars and reached the other's ears, causing them to turn in surprise.

Marvin's frustrated face fell. "Wait, no, Chase, that's not what I meant—"

"Go away! Just join the group and leave me the fuck alone if I'm so slow!" He hollered, pointing at the other two far ahead.

As quick as Marvin's face softened, it hardened once more. "Fine," he bit out, gaze frosty. He spun on his heel and stalked away, leaving Chase standing by the road.

Everything felt a little colder. He was acutely aware of the rain falling more heavily, of the chill that snaked its way around his bones. He felt... empty.

He turned his gaze back to the passing cars when he realized he was a lot closer than when he first started.

He stepped back off the edge of the curb.

Things between him and Marvin were more tense after that. Things between him and the others were more tense. Awkward pauses, aborted conversations, less physical contact...

They hated him. He knew it.

Chase developed a habit of crossing the road without looking both ways. He's nearly gotten hit a few times. He wished he had been.

At some point in time (he couldn't remember; everything felt so long ago), his camera crew had to remind him to smile for the filming process. He put on his widest grin.

Fake.

He was still tired in the morning when he woke up. He took a handful of pills (he counted eight of them after dumping them out into his palm). He wasn't sure if he'd wake up or not.

He did... unfortunately.

Chase had to start practicing how to properly smile in the mirror so his camera crew wouldn't have to tell him to every time before they started. He spent a few minutes each day staring detachedly into the mirror, trying to figure out why his smile seemed so off (the dark bags under his eyes weren't helping his case). Different types of smiles all resulted in the same result.

It felt fake, looked fake, and was fake. Fake, fake, fake.

He used his pointer fingers to drag his lips into a smile. It looked so comical and ridiculous it hurt. He laughed and laughed and laughed, clutching at his sides, struggling to draw in breath between his gasping peals of laughter. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, streaming down his cheeks. His laughter dissolved into shaky sobs.

He gave up on his endeavor of trying to look normal after that day. Who cared?

He stole a bottle of painkillers from Schneep's office. Schneep was pissed. He thought Jackie had done it due to his previous addiction to them. Jackie was angry the doctor assumed so. Thankfully no one was pointing fingers at him since he was a terrible liar. He wasn't sure if he had enough energy to feel guilty enough to give himself away.

While the pills in a daily dose may not kill the pain he was feeling on the inside, one big dose before bed might do the trick.

His channel Bro Average went on a undetermined hiatus due to "not feeling his greatest." His fans and crew were so supportive... then why couldn't he believe them when they said he deserved this?

A week later Chase had drunkenly let it slip to Marvin that he had been the one to steal the painkillers. He also rambled on and on about how tired he always was and how nothing felt like it mattered.

In the morning, he woke up with a killer headache not remembering anything after his fourth or fifth glass of whiskey. The others didn't bother him to come downstairs but when he did Marvin was the only one at the table, reading from some leatherbound book written in Latin. The magician seemed distracted but the tension on his end had dissolved and he seemed more patient with Chase than before.

That night he discovered the contents of his bedside stand—his whiskey, his revolver, and the pills—were gone.

It was his turn to have the kids for a day or two (it depended on what schedule Stacy felt like). He found out from his kids that she was dating some guy named Robin. As soon as the kids left, he got hammered.

The whiskey bottle he'd misplaced wasn't the only one he owned.

Another week passed and he got to see his kids again. But when he finally truly smiled for the first time in days, he felt guilty. He didn't deserve this. He felt like he was intruding on something private. He wasn't the same person as himself from several months ago. He was a stranger living another's life.

He wanted the guilt to stop.

He didn’t ever admit it to himself but he was addicted to the sleeping pills. He had to take them every day.

Stacy picked the kids up after their two days with him. While they were getting in the car, Stacy told him once more (like every other time) that she'd figure out a way to have the kids unable to see him so she could move back to California with her family so he'd be unable to see them. She sounded so smug and sure of herself.

He grabbed a bottle of whiskey after they left.

While trying to find a specific potion for Marvin, he found his gun and whiskey in a locked trunk in the other's room. He expected rage but only felt eerily empty and numb.

Why did it even matter? 

He dug around through the trunk, found the potion, took the gun and bottle, and locked the trunk back up. This time he hid the bottle and gun under his bed behind all the stuff he crammed under there when he was too tired to clean properly. Marvin probably wouldn't notice the two things were gone.

He didn't.

Stacy called him in the middle of the first film shoot in a month, informing him she was moving in with her sister and that the house was free for him to use again. Mere seconds after his daughter had gotten hold of the phone to tell him something, the call was cut short. He cried on set.

The film shooting was wrapped up quickly and they didn't post anything for another week.

He didn't move back into the house.

A sticky note left on the fridge said he'd be out at the office today, that he didn't know when he'd be back, and that he loved them. Not entirely a lie. He wasn't even sure if the others had seen it.

They hadn't paid much attention to the peculiar wording.

His camera crew were all down the hall in the breakroom, eating lunch and chatting happily, giving him full access to the camera. The red light blinked at him monotonously. It was rolling.

He gave a small, rueful smile for the camera, gun held tight in his hand. Fake. The smile felt as fake as all the others. Felt as fake as his "happiness."

"This one's called 'Stacy I love you, please don't go.'"

The cold metal of the gun nozzle pressed against his temple. He pulled the trigger.

(A/N) Intrusive thoughts are actually the worst. I go on walks nearly every day except, unlike Chase, I’m alone. Sometimes my brain goes: “hey you could throw yourself in front of a car and die right now!!!” Like no??? Don’t do that??? And then my brain goes, “you coward, you pathetic fool,” Or “you could swallow a bottle of pills and go to sleep and never wake up like you’ve always wanted!!!” NO??? CAN YOU NOT??? But yeah... this is what I think happened with Chase. 

(And yeah my Dad would tell my Mom that he would take us and move states so we could live with his family but we were too young to understand what that meant—hell I can’t even remember that). So yeah, whenever I write Chase and Stacy, I base it somewhat off my parent’s relationship. The main feelings and conversations and stuff like that. One sided love really. Poor Chase.

[existentialstatesofmind]

Weekend Fun

Clare: smiled at Dakota and then glanced at Stacy when she spoke. She nodded. "Okay. That makes sense, I just think I'm the one who is getting to better end of the bargain." She didn't elaborate because Dakota already knew how miserable things were at home right now and she was trying to keep Stacey out of it. "It will be. There's no point in rocking the boat until it becomes necessary." She didn't know when that was going to be. Once she turned 18, her parents wouldn't be able to use the whole Dakota having custody of a child thing to keep them apart because Dakota would no longer be a minor either and they'd no longer have a stay so in who she dated anyway. Clare knew she couldn't wait that long to tell them though. She would only be turning 16 this year. "Dad won't be home." She promised. If she had to she could tell her parents an abridged version of why Josephine couldn't come over when he was there but it probably wouldn't be necessary to complicate things further. Clare smiled at Stacy and Dakota, and nodded in agreement. Then she looked at Dakota's mom curiously when she said she was going to adopt Josephine. From what his mom was saying it might be what was best for Josephine but who knew how Josephine really felt. Family matters were complicated. If Dakota considered Josephine his sister and his mom agreed, it changed things in her mind though. Her parents couldn't dispute whatever 'story' Clare told them. Adoption was actually something her parents advocated for and respected so Clare didn't forsee them asking nosey questions about that if it were true. Not that she should be thinking about herself right now. Josephine needed out of a bad situation. Clare shrugged to say that was fine when Dakota said she'd be sleeping in his room whenever she slept over. She doubted Dakota was ready for a physical relationship after everything she'd learned about him today and he knew she wasn't. It might be uncomfortable sharing a bed but they'd get used to it. Plus she wouldn't be staying the night often. At first she was confused when they started talking about a grandmother. She didn't know their grandmother lived with them. She got why having her there full time might not be great, Clare couldn't handle more than a few weeks at a time with her grandma. Then Clare got it, their grandmother died and they thought the room was haunted. Clare couldn't help laughing. "No, I don't need to be brave and go in there. I've seen Poltergeist a dozen times so the TV cutting on by itself is kind of creepy..." She playfully poked Dakota's shoulder. "How am I supposed to impress your grandmother if I sleep in your room though, she might come in there and throw a shoe at me." Her eyes widened when Emi talked about the deceased old lady giving her candy. If she wasn't actually haunting her own room she'd obviously left a lasting impression since her family was taking good care of the room and everything in it. Clare smiled sheepishly. "Right of course not, I should've thought of that. How do tourists find their way around? We might have a really hard time even with Emi's help and a Japanese dictionary app. Of course we should be able to use our phones to get directions in English. Hopefully." She looked at the paper. Clare knew the Japanese used symbols instead of words in their language. But she certainly hadn't known what it was called or how the symbols looked. "This is really cool Emi. I've never seen anything like it." Clare told her. "How does learning sounds work? Still, it was very clever of you to figure out how many strokes you needed. You're good at drawing." Clare didn't think she would be able to learn much Kanji. French was hard enough to learn and they had the same alphabet. "I believe it, I knew the languages they use in places like Japan and China was more complex than ours and the hardest to learn but jeeze." She exclaimed to Dakota. "I don't know how I feel about octopus. Have you tried it Emi? I might like it better than I would Sushi. I hate fish so raw fish doesn't really sound appetizing to me." She admitted. "Besides if it's grilled I know they at least took the eyes out. I'm not sure about the tentacles though. Food aside, it sounds like so much fun!" She grinned. "Good idea, I bet there's a lot more to do and I wanna dance with you." Clare said shyly. If she was going to have on pretty robes they shouldn't go to waste. "I can't wait. I hope I don't embarrass you too much, Emi, because I'm going to be taking lots of photos." She chuckled. "Okay fair point. What was Time Square like, were they filming anything? But the toy stores always looked really cool on Home Alone 2, were they like that?" No wonder he got lost. "I don't need pom-poms just clapping. Aww a banner would be nice, no one's ever done that for me before." Clare beamed at him. She was lucky to have a thoughtful boyfriend. "Do you like robots?" She asked Emi hopefully. Clare returned the chaste kiss before raising an eyebrow at Dakota. "But we weren't even dating until today, someone must've been pretty confident I would say yes." She teased him. Clare kissed him again. She hadn't even known he liked her and would never have dreamed of going on a date with him. Clare followed Dakota when he carried Emi out to the car. "Of course." She said quietly. "I know where the kitchen is now so I'll put them in the icebox." Clare buckled her seat belt and reached for Dakota's hand.

Kota: nodded at Clare's words as she spoke about Jos and her parents. "She won't throw a shoe at you. She's only ever hit Bren alive and dead." Dom stated. "Let's not talk about Bren until he passes." his mom said and they nodded. "You don't really need to make an impression on her. She doesn't leave her room. Never has, so if you don't go in there, you're fine." Kota stated honestly. "I never met her and I don't plan to. I also stay in Dallas' room a lot." Stacy assured. "Plus part of Grandma's always with us." Dom said honestly. "Not really, that part of her is always in my closet. Like I want Grandma with me when I use the bathroom." Kota stated. "Part of her is in my purse." Kelly shrugged. "Am I the only one that keeps part of her with me?" Ash asked and Kota looked around. "Apparently." Dom answered. Kota listened as Clare asked Emi questions and wondered if she could answer them, though he knew if she couldn't he would. "Um..." Emi trailed off looking for words. "You know how you learn the ABC's then the sounds the letter's make?" Emi asked. "We do something like that. We learn our alphabet and the sounds they make. The symbols change when you form words just like the sounds of the letters in the ABC's change." she tried explaining and wrote " す し" on a paper and showed it to Clare. "That's the sound for Sushi. The first symbol makes the shu sound." she said and took the paper back only to write "寿司" on a paper, then showed Clare again. "And that's sushi when it's written out. I memorized the symbols off a restaurant that way I'd know momma was getting sushi for dinner." she explained. "The sounds are easier and we learn them first. We don't fully learn how to write until we finish middle school since there are over a thousand symbols that take so long to learn." she huffed the last part and thanked Clare about her drawing. Hearing her ask if she had octopus she nodded. "I only had it fried. I watched someone try to eat it still living and it looked dangerous, they couldn't get the octopus out of their mouth." she explained. "I won't eat it at restaurants because they serve them whole and they dance when you put soy sauce on it. Momma got mad because I liked to make them dance so much and wouldn't eat them." she shrugged. "As for sushi, you need to try a California roll, no fish." Kota said looking at Clare. "It's rice, seaweed, fake crab, and avocado." he added and looked at Emi. "Everyone already takes a lot of photos so it's not embarrassing." she smiled at Clare. "Yea, they were just like they were on Home Alone 2, they weren't filming when I was there though." he explained. "Everything is huge in Time Square including the pizza." he added. "I haven't seen a robot. They were only in Tokyo." She stated honestly as she ate her food. "I was hoping you'd say yes." Kota smiled into the kiss. Once Emi was buckled in, Kota held Clare's hand the entire ride home. As soon as they got home, Kota smiled and unbuckled Emi and watched everyone get out of the van. "Um, can I carry Emi?" Stacy asked catching Kota off guard and to look at her. "The light in the house is on. I really don't want to deal with Bren." Stacy whined a bit causing Kota to get out of the car and look at Dallas when he stepped by them. "Is Bren home?" he asked curiously. "No, mom's inside and there's no yelling." Dallas assured causing him to sigh in relief. "Thank goodness he's not coming home." he said honestly. "I agree." Stacy sighed in relief as well as Kota lead Clare inside. He could immediately hear his mom fiddling with stuff in the kitchen and walked there holding Emi and Clare's hand still. "Bren got expelled." his mom said honestly. "I'm putting him in public school with Ash." She added and Kota looked behind him to see Ash. "I want videos. Lots of videos." he stated. "Anyway they didn't say when they're sending Bren home. Clare, if you're here feel free to hit Bren as much as you want want." His mom stated as she started to bake. "He was switched at birth." Kota stated. "Sadly he wasn't, I did a DNA test the moment you boys came up with that theory. Mom and I started to believe he really was switched at birth." Kelly said and Kota shifted Emi a bit. "I'll take her, thinking about Bren coming home is blowing my mood. Cuddling with Emi tonight will take my mind off it, just get me her pajamas." Kelly said to Kota and he let go of Clare's hand to get Emi's pajamas for his sister. Once he got back he handed Kelly the pajamas and took Clare's hand. "I'm done with worrying about Bren coming home. We have one day of peace left and I plan on spending it with Clare and Emi. I'll worry about what to do with him after he comes home." Kota stated and started to walk to his room with Clare, picking up the bag for her as they walked. Once they got to his room, he shut the door behind them and took off his slippers, then his shirt. "The bathroom's right here." he said opening a door that has a sign that has Japanese writing on it. "The sign says bathroom since Emi mistook the closet next to it for the bathroom since the doors are the same." he said honestly as he stepped inside and took out a small box. "There are tooth brushes in here, take your pick, we don't have pink though." he said knowing there were all the other colors but pink and a lot of styles and brands. "I'll be out here when you're done." he said and shut the door behind him as he left. While he was waiting for Clare to finish, he changed into his pajama bottoms and got a blanket for Clare, then laid on his bed and covered up in his black blanket.