#I fell asleep trying to write my thoughts while they were still fresh

[sunshineandlyrics]

I saw "LouisTom" aka 'All Of Those Voices' this evening. Just a mix of thoughts which contain some SPOILERS ..

I haven't been to the movie theatre for about 2 years. The last movie I saw was either Parasite or Mulan live action. Only Louis could entice me back to sit in a public room surrounded by strangers for over an hour.

I really loved the behind the scenes in the studio, Louis talking about music and sharing FITF with his band, and all the interactions with his team. Lottie's comments shows how much she admires and loves Louis. The more you hear about Louis, the more you admire him.

The parts when Louis was talking about his Mum, and around Louis performing Just Hold On on the Xfactor were really hard for me. And Grandpa bless his heart.

Theo Hutchcraft really looks like a cool Vampire.

Oli is a gem. The most understanding friend and goofball mate anyone could ever want. I get why Louis has Oli with him all the time.

Mark Tomlinson quoted Louis saying something of an epiphany while during his Grease days (which reminded me of the Vanessa Hudgens' Austin Butler/Elvis epiphany).

One of my favourite moments was of Louis with his team on the yacht. The beautiful visuals, the chill, seeing some of the food, the band sharing their thoughts about Louis.

I heard Oli and Chris Frewin talking full sentences for the first time, and Oli's voice is not as I imagined and I understood him easier than I do Louis.

Louis has had to overcome his emotions and outside obstacles over his entire career. The documentary shows us the bumpy ride, from getting picked on Xfactor but dismissed and feeling insignificant, then overcoming that by contributing with his songwriting. He was shattered by the break, feeling lost on his career path, the family tragedies, then it's years to make his debut album, only for his tour to be hit by Covid, then tour starts again and his career is eventually on a roll. We already know the history but it's seen with some new insights. His Mum truly raised a man of good character.

The teary eyes didn't make me emotional for a few reasons and didn't make me change my mind because I've been here from the start of this stunt. Louis could've spent so much time between 2016-now (like during XFactor Judges), and especially during the lockdown with the kid but he didn't. Not even the dangerous Californian bushfires inspired Louis to visit the kid, and his team was like no comment on an article.

The scenes with the kid were cute but a bit awkward, and it raised more questions for me. Like why is Oli ALWAYS with them? Why didn't his family travel to America to see him more often if they miss him? Why does he hardly visit the UK, and only for the last 2 Christmases and the only clue of it was via the same pic we saw already posted by one of the sisters? Why is there a lack of unseens of Louis or his family with the kid from between 2016-2021? And the only baby pics were the ones taken in 2016 and already overused in the tabloids.

And my Dude, if 'it gets harder to leave the kid every time' and you get teary eyed talking about it, you should've gotten a lawyer to get full custody, or at least 50/50 years ago. Why does Louis need to travel 20 hours each time to LA for such little time with his own child? Also why none of his American family were with him backstage after the LA concert, just this other kid friend and a guardian (and remember the 'grandparents' and 'uncle' were there but sat separately from him, and potentially had to buy their own tickets to the concert).

It's funny hearing Louis being called both Lou-ee and Lew-is (Doncaster v non Doncaster people).

Given the amount of time I saw Oli and Louis spend with the kid and how they both interacted with him, it would not surprise me if it was later revealed that Oli was the Dad. That would explain why Oli hasn't spend more time in America with him, how the child hardly visits his family in the UK, why he hasn't hired a lawyer for better custody arrangements, because remember people, Oli's only on a PA's salary. And what the hell was that place Louis and Oli were supposedly staying at with the kid. Total opposite of the infinity pool house.

And after I heard Charlie talk twice about the filming having been organic, natural, not set up, etc and watching the 2 sections of the stunt in the docu, it just felt the opposite. Charlie was definitely trolling when he said that. And honestly for me, if these sections with the kid weren't in the film, it would not have been missed because Louis' own grandparents, siblings and childhood friends confirmed to us Louis' love for family and his personal journey. It defiantly felt like filming the kid was an afterthought, rather than preplanned or in the vision Louis or Charlie had in 2019.

Sadly no new insights about either broken arm incidents, no Louis hair and skincare discussions with Krystle, no fashion discussions with Helen, and no Clifford.

They celebrated Steve's birthday too hard in Iceland. His band is funny especially Matt. Mark Gillespie was seen backstage at Louis' LA show.

Familiar frequent flyer 'fans' were interviewed.

Louis loves his Louies, and his whole team appreciate us too.

There was only English subtitles for us. No local language because it was probably not worth translating for a limited screening that could only be used in 1 country.

I left feeling exhausted and heavy hearted seeing his journey, and very proud of Louis for how he kept going to where he is now, and how he has stayed a sweet person, and happy seeing he is surrounded by good people now. It's clear that Louis is loved and respected by those closest to him. As a One Direction fan and Louie, I enjoyed and appreciated this documentary.

This documentary is about a journey, and not a blockbuster, exposé film.

Now I feel so super ready for the tour to start because seeing Louis in concert again makes me miss those loud and fun times.

And remember, Louis is only getting started ...

(22 March 2023)

[noellefan101]

Stealing Their Hoodie-Genshin

Characters: Tighnari, Wanderer/Scaramouche, Cyno, Xiao, Albedo x gn! reader

Summary: You steal his hoodie, what do you think abt it + what do they think abt it

Warnings: established relationship, modern au(i guess), you´re shorter than him, studying(albedo)

Note: i really hope you like this. it was honestly a pain to write three fics in a row, but i´m still alive i guess(if i don´t post in the next week im dead). also, i´m changing my theme a little, luv you.

Tighnari

you really wanted to try out his hoodie, he always wears it and it looked really comfy. you just didn´t know if he would get mad if you tried it on. it was his favorite hoodie and you didn´t want to make him mad if he didn´t like you wearing it/I'd say he´s really scary when he´s mad, like a mad mom kinda scary/. anyway, when you put it on you really didn´t want to take it off, it was just soooo comfy, and warm, and soft, and big, and... you get it. you were so lost in the comfiness and the smell of his perfume, that you didn´t realize someone just came home. yeah, unfortunately you were caught. at least he wasn´t mad, well... maybe a little, but that was mainly because you could´ve just asked instead.

one of the last things he wants you to be is a thief, just ask next time.

Wanderer/Scaramouche

he looked so good in it, you wanted to try it too. but the only problem was, that your boyfriend had a lot of temper. and you didn´t know if he would react badly/or just kill you on the spot/so you thought about asking, but got scared of the thought immediately. so the day of the week he wasn´t home you went for it, and you found it and tried it on. just as you thought, it looked really pretty on you. and it was really comfy too. the only thing that was wrong, he was coming home early as a surprise, and of course he didn´t tell you(ofc you didn´t its a f*''*ing surprise, why tf did i write that). but i guess he surprised you more than he thought, because he also surprised himself. he may have tried to ignore it, but you could clearly tell he noticed by his light red cheeks. but it was only because you looked really good in it.

he´ll be surprising you a lot more, to reveal all your secrets.

Cyno

his cloak from the manga as a hoodie omg give. me. one... 'cough cough' anyway, you really liked this one hoodie he had, why it was reeeaally big and looked oh-so-comfy. you really wanted to try it out, but you didn´t know how he would react if you asked. and you were kinda scared of it. sure he was not as scary around you, but you hadn´t done anything like this before, so how would you know how he would be if you did. sooooo you decided to "borrow" one of his hoodies while he was out. and, just as you thought, it was really comfortable and really big on you too, and as a bonus, it smelled like him. you eventually fell asleep in it, and didn´t wake up when Cyno came home either. he just looked at you confused as to why you were wearing his hoodie, but ignored it and brought you to bed. when you woke up he just started telling bad hoodie jokes, while you looked like a fresh tomato, great.

he would love you even more if you´d laugh at his jokes.

Xiao

you first liked the big hoodie he wears in the winter, it looked comfy and was big on him, therefore bigger on you. you wanted to try it on, but didn´t know how to ask. you did think about asking but was afraid of him reacting badly. so one day, when he wasn´t home, you just took a look into his closet and chose something you would want to wear. you chose this big blue and black, though mostly blue, hoodie since he wears it a lot. and when you put it on you, you fell in love, it was way to big on you, and it smelled exactly like him. but you didn´t really want to take it off just yet, and kept it on for the rest of the day. and then... xiao came home, he didn´t see his hoodie on you immediately, but could sense that something was different. but when he finally noticed, he just blushed a little. kidding he looked like a fresh tomato/very pretty one/and didn´t want to talk to you for a little, but it was fine in the end. and he eventually got over it.

no he´s not cute when blushing, or at least he doesn´t want to admit it.

Albedo

you see, he had this one hoodie he wore all the time/it´s mostly while he´s studying, but he does that a lot/and there was just something about it that you really liked. maybe it was how big it looked on him/meaning bigger on you/or maybe it was only the fact that it's his. soooo... when he was out for a group project, where he couldn´t wear his studying hoodie(yes im gonna call it that)because that wouldn´t be appropriate. so, you just took a little look in his closet, finding his hoodie and put it on. and as you thought it was way to big on you, but it was really comfy. and it also smelled like him, the perfume he uses, mixed with his shampoo. the only problem was just that albedo was coming home early/because he´s a genius, so they finished quickly/and you didn´t know. so when he got home you both got a surprise, you didn´t know he would be coming home early, and he saw you in his hoodie. he wasn´t mad or anything, but he just didn´t know how to react/he thought you looked cute in it though/.

he didn´t know this was what he would be coming home to.

Thank you for reading this thing, luv ya-Masterlist

You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts

[screeching-bunny]

Helloooo my fave yandere!character writer! I hope your having a wonderful day! Can i request yandere!jock with male!reader and he finds the reader crying bc someone was bullying them or said smth mean or smth like that? Ik he would be pissed but i was thinking something along the lines of this:

*Reader explains what happens*

*Yandere!Jock absolutely pissed and turns to go beat the shit out of them*

Then the reader would grab is arm to stop him and say smthing like: “wait!…please…..please just….stay with me….please?” Like EEEEEEE I LOVE YANDERE!JOCK SMMMM AND IMA PASS OUT IF YOU DO THIS! OKAY THANKS BYE

(Also plz ignore if your requests are closed rn)

Yandere! Jock x Male Reader

Asks 2

Warnings: Obsessive Behavior, Yandere Thoughts, Bad Writing, Stalking, Reader is specifically going to be Male in this post!!!

Asks 1

Yandere! Jock liked looking at you whether it be intention or not his eyes were almost always on you. He loved looking at every expression you made throughout your day to day life and practically memorized every fine detail on your face. So it was no surprise that he was instantly alerted when he saw a hint of sadness appear on your face when you came in for your afternoon class. Like a little leach he started attaching himself towards you with a concerned look on his face to find out what had happened to his little darling but alas his attempts reamied futile as you refused to give him an answer that he accepted.

“I’m just tired and just didn’t get that much sleep last night.”

Tired his ass. Yandere! Jock knew for a fact that you fell asleep early last night while watching an animal documentary. How does he know this? Well, he was stalking I mean watching over you last night. Anyways the sentence “The giant horse cock weighs over eight pounds” was still fresh in his mind but that's not the point! The point is something or someone made you upset! This is honestly so absolutely unacceptable!! When class finishes he ends up cornering you to try and figure out what has happened to you. Soon you start to give in and tell him the exact reason as to why with tears bawling out of your eyes.

When he finds out the reason he is beyond pissed. A bunch of npc bullies had the audacity to go and bully you! There is nothing he wants to do then skin those losers alive for making you cry like this. How fucking dare they. Yandere! Jock immediately decides that at that moment, he would go on a manhunt. He genuinely believes that it’d be a good riddance, no way in hell is someone going to miss them. As he tries to get up, he is immediately stopped by you as you grab ahold of his arm.

“Please stay, I don’t want to be alone right now.”

Holy shit! That sentence damn near put him in a coma. He just can’t believe how adorable you are. With that, he decides right away to bring you to his home in order to comfort you. The rest of the day is spent with just the two of you guys together while watching Netflix and ordering out to eat. All of his plans that he had before were canceled in favor of being by your side. He does his best to make you happy and laugh as much as possible. That smiling face of yours suits you better than a teary eyed expression. Although he can’t do it now, he vows to absolutely destroy the lives of your bullies. The mental and physical wellbeing of yourself matter more than anything in the world to him. Anything that causes harm to you he quickly deals with even if it means people. All that he wants is that you’ll be safe in his arms and by his side whenever he wakes up.

He makes it a point to prove the words of you tormentors were false and does his best to undo their claims. He’d be so appalled by the whole situation and just can’t wrap around his head at how someone could be mean to you. Like just look at you! You’re literally perfect what the hell were they smoking when they decided to verbally assault you. Yandere! Jock would be so overbearing and clingy towards you. Wherever you went he was close behind you. You’re going grocery shopping? Cool he’s right by your side. You gotta go to class? He’s right by you. Even if he doesn’t have the class he’s still coming. Showering? Move over and make room, he wants to shower as well. Is totally the type to throw a fit when you say no which causes you to relent and let him follow you.

In a few weeks after this incident there were missing people reports all over town of local college students. The same ones who coincidentally were vicious towards you. Everytime Yandere! Jock walks past these posters, he has a hidden smug look on his face. Justifies it by saying that he’s doing it in the name of love and that those people were the spawns of Satan. Besides, they're not even dead yet. They’re just trapped in a cabin in some random woods that only he has access to. Content with himself he spends his days by your side and pledging to himself that he’d never let anyone bother you ever again.

[luvonmes-blog]

CAN U PLEASE WRITE SMUT FOR CHASE DAVENPORT FROM LAB RATS WHERE HES A SOFT DOM AND HE JUST PRAISES YOU

WHO ARE YOU AND HOW DO YOU KNOW ABT MY OBSESSION WITH CHASE DAVENPORT⁉️⁉️⁉️

anywayyy this is an idea i’ve had for a while ty for letting it come to fruition😛

warnings - angst, smut, softdom!chase

chase was pissed off. pissed at himself for letting this happen and pissed at you for not listening to him.

because of him, you now lay on a lab table in mr. davenports basement, hooked up to a bunch of machines to make sure you were still alive. all because you wouldn’t listen, now here you are injured because of krane . you didn’t look like you and chase hated it. he sat at the computer in the lab, going over some files he and mr. davenport had encrypted, he was looking at any way he could wake you up. you were completely catatonic, only breathing on your own. chase took time every night to clean you up, scrubbing your body down with soapy water, washing your face with all the stuff you showed him, brushing your hair and moisturizing it.

he’s cried and kicked, bent over the lab table you’re resting up begging you to wake up. you never responded.

he now sat up at said computer, dozing off after spending so much time in the lab. he’s just about to fall asleep before he hears a loud gasp behind him. you’re gasping for air, pulling the tubes away from your nose, coughing and sputtering. chase turns around quickly, rushing over to you and sitting you up. he runs up and down your back as you gasp for breath, coughing as fresh air fills your lungs for the first time in weeks. you grip his shirt as you damn near cough your lungs up, finally catching your breath you turn to him.

he stares at you with wide teary eyes, his mouth open in a small ‘o’ as you look at him.

“where am i?” your voice is hoarse after not using it for so long and you clear your throat.

“u-um you’re in-” he stops to stare at you, “you’re in mr. davenports lab.”

“davenport… who’s mr. davenport?” you can hear his breath hitch, more tears well up in his eyes and you can almost see them fall.

“you- you don’t remember us?” his chest heaves as he looks at you and you can see him on the verge of panicking.

“chase,” he doesn’t respond. “chase! i’m just fucking with you, i’m sorry.” he lets out a breath and you swear you can physically see the relief wash across his face.

“don’t do that.” he looks down. “i thought you forgot us.

“i did.”

“what?”

“for a split second when i woke up. i didn’t recognize anything, i didn’t even know my own name. i remembered everything when i saw you, though.” chase sighed and then he collapsed, falling onto his knees and resting his head on your thighs.

“i’m sorry.”

“why?”

“we wouldn’t have been in this if it wasn’t for me, if i didn’t start that fight.”

“it’s fine, chase.”

“no it’s not.” he gripped your legs. “it’s my fault, i’m sorry.”

“chase,” you tugged at the hair on the nape of his neck. “it’s fine. i’m ok.” he stared into you eyes, his own filled with tears and he glanced over you. there were no scars or bruises, you did look and seem ok. he nodded his head at you and wrapped his arms around your body, pulling you into and burying his face into your neck, inhaling your scent. your own arms wrapped around his neck, letting your fingers run through his hair. he pulled back just slightly, enough to look at you and his eyes traced over your face, from the way you eyes sparkled at him to the small pout on your lips. he leaned in ever so slightly, you could feel his breath in your lips, his plush bottom lip rubbing on your own.

“can i?” you nodded at him and his lips were on yours immediately. they were rough on yours, like he was trying to swallow you whole, he parted your lips with his and slipped his tongue into your mouth. you sucked on the muscle and pulled his hair, his eyes rolled back and the smallest groan fell from his lips. “you’re so pretty.” he muttered against your lips. you tugged his shirt over his head quickly. throwing it somewhere across the room and feeling all moved his chest. your hands trailed down his torso to his pants, quickly unbuttoning them and pushing them down just enough.

“want you now, please.” he tried to take off the shirt your were dressed in but you moved his hands down your body, kicking off the shorts and underwear you were wearing. “now.” you emphasized. your lips met again, teeth and tongues clashing. he pressed the tip of his cock against your pussy. rubbing it through your wetness and soaking his cock in it.

“fuck.” he sighed. “you’re so wet, so perfect. you know that? you’re perfect.” you moaned as he pushed into you. he pushed into you slowly, letting you adjust to his size and getting used to the feeling of your walls around him again.

“i-i’m not perfect.” you spoke as he gave you a tentative thrust.

“yes, fuck, yes you are. so perfect, you’re so smart, so pretty. you’re everything.” he groaned as his head fell into your neck. “everything to me.” he whispered, w not sure if you were meant to hear it but you did, you clenched around him at the words. his thrusts sped up, the sound of clapping skin echoing around the lab.

“chase, so good, ‘s so good.” your words were slurred as your head fell back. chase picked his head up to look at you, your head was thrown back, eyes closed, and mouth parted as you let out soft mewls and moans of his name. he watched as your chest raised and fell with each of your heavy breaths, you looked so beautiful. his hand came up to wrap around your throat and pull you in for a kiss. your lips met gently, less of a kiss and more of just your lips against each others.

“you’re so pretty, so fucking pretty.” his thumb traced circles in your jaw, he held your face to make you look at him and the eye contact sent chills down your spine.

“chase!” you gripped his shoulders, “m’ gonna cum!” your voice raised a pitch and you clenched down around him. your legs shook around his waist as your orgasm washed over you. you cried out as wave after wave crashed down on your body, just watched and admired your form and before he knew it his own orgasm was catching up to him.

“oh, fuck.” he groaned, pulling out quickly and jerking his cock in his fist. rope after rope landed on your stomach and thighs, his orgasm finally subsided and his head fell into your chest. you panted together. both of you basking in your post-orgasmic haze.

——————————

don’t ask me why this took so long to publish cause it honestly shouldn’t have.

[venerawrites]

Heyyyyyyy saw you're ask was open and jumped with joy!!!!

I have a request; for how Viktor or Jinx would react to reader fainting from exhaustion!, angsty and fluffy!!..love you're stuff ❤️❤️❤️

author's note: oh my, you are so sweet, thank you! This was such an interesting request to write and also my first one for Jinx, so I really hope you like it and I did your expectations justice! Thank you for requesting! <3

➤ Viktor

Working late side by side was not an unusual occurrence for you and Viktor. You often found yourselves in the lab way past closing hours and you even fell asleep on the corner sofa on numerous occasions.

While you were used to hard work, your recent project on trying to find a way for the Hexcore to react with organic matter has really taken its toll on you. You and Viktor spend hours experimenting, without a break and barely eating any food during the day.

Being completely engrossed in his work, it did take a few days (and maybe a small comment from Jayce) for Viktor to notice your malnourished look - the dark bags under your eyes, the unusual greyish colour of your skin

He tried everything to make you stop your work on the project - from trying to convince you to stay at home and proposing for him to take a few days break with you, to actually having arguments day after day about how he doesn't want you to experiment on the Hexcore anymore and he is giving it up altogether.

Being even more stubborn than him, you refused to abandon your work, knowing how high the stakes were. And this is how one day, after another long day, you felt you were almost there when suddenly everything went blurry and you felt yourself falling back...

Viktor was on his way back from a meeting with Jayce when he felt some nagging feeling at the pit of his stomach. He was not one to be superficial or anything, but deep down he knew something was wrong.

Once he opened the door and found you laying next to your desk, a trail of blood coming from the side of your head, forming a little pool on the ground, he felt his whole breath being taken away.

In his rush to get to you, he threw away his crutch, limping a few steps, before falling on his knees. Not giving up, he crawled to your unconscious form on his knees, cradling you in his lap once he was in an arm's reach.

"No, no, please! Wake up!", he shook your form, before lifting his head toward the door, "Help! Somebody help! Please!"

Luckily for him, Jayce and some of the enforcers were still on the same floor and once they heard his distressed calls, they immediately ran toward your lab and brought you to the hospital.

Viktor is a gentle and kind man, who loves you more than anything in his world, but he does have a problem expressing his thoughts and fears. So while he was crazy worried about your health, despite all the promises from the nurses that you are going to be fine, he felt a rising mix of frustration and annoyance bubbling inside of him. Why can't you just listen to him for once?

After you woke up a few hours later, he was happy to see you finally conscious, but even that did not save you from the long lecture he gave you about how you never listen to him, how you don't care about your health, and how Hexcore has brought nothing, but pain and issues for you.

He then exits the room for a few hours and while he remains in the hospital, he uses the opportunity to get some fresh air and gather his thoughts. He knows he sounded harsher than intended, but he just didn't know how to word his worry for you.

You were released the next day and instructed to stay home, and while you tried to convince Viktor that you were fit to go back to work, he was having none of it. He took you straight home and he took a few days off himself, so he can take care of you.

He never apologized for his sharp words in the hospital, but you knew how sorry he was based on the way he was treating you, getting you everything you asked for, cooking you dinner, and doing all the chores, despite being in a poor health himself.

He will try to keep your mind busy by organising "book dates" on the sofa, where you read to each other, or by competing with you while playing board/card games (he totally let's you win, by the way.)

Please don't be mad because he is not good with words - he loves you more than his own life, which is why he is set to give up on the Hexcore project once and for all after seeing what it did to you.

➤ Jinx

Keeping up with Jinx was a tiring task - the young woman had such high energy, that she was hyperactive a good 80% of the time. She was always running around, making different trinkets or weapons, or drawing on the buildings of Zaun.

You, on the other hand, were more relaxed and laid-back. It's not like you were in bed all day, but you didn't like to be rushed, neither you liked to be always on the move. If anything, you preferred to spend your time cuddled next to Jinx after a long day of work, rather than run around the Undercity.

But life has been difficult for both of you recently since Violet came back and the blue-haired girl needed you more than ever. While she tried to act normal around you, you could hear her mumbling stuff about her sister in her sleep and when you were out together, she kept looking around, almost paranoid.

You tried to support her in the best way you knew how - with physical affection and also being glued to her side 24/7. She did have abandonment issues and she never liked to be left alone, but recently she was extra clingy around you.

Her energetic lifestyle, however, proved to be a bite too big for you to chew, and only after 2 days of spending your time only with her and accompanying her on her little 'missions', you felt absolutely exhausted. Not only you couldn't get more than a few hours of sleep each night, but you also barely had the time to eat, as you were constantly on the move.

Too engrossed in her attempts to run away from her memories, she didn't notice how you were becoming weaker and weaker in front of your eyes. So when one day she came back home, ready to give you a piece of her mind for leaving her waiting for you for over an hour, she was shocked to find you passed out on her desk, completely unconscious.

Many emotions passed through her at that moment - fear, confusion, disbelief - and for a while, she just stood frozen in place, looking at you with wide eyes. Cautiously, she walked next to you and tried to shake your shoulders gently.

"Bam-Bam, are you asleep? Hello?", her shakes got more energetic with every second of you not responding, "Shit! Bam-Bam! Please be okay, please be okay..."

Despite looking pretty short and slim, Jinx has always been pretty strong, especially with her hands. Scooping you in her arms, she quickly made her way to Silco's office, unsure where else to go. She knew that he was somewhat reserved when it came to your relationship, but at the moment he was the closest and the most convenient option.

Practically barging into his office and not bothered at all by the fact that he was in a meeting with Sevika, she laid you on the couch and started rambling about what your plans for the day were and all the events that happened since the morning till the moment she found you on the floor.

Luckily for her, Sevika has dealt with many people who have fainted from exhaustion before (mainly Shimmer workers). After checking your breathing and pulse, she picked you up and decided to move you to one of the free bedrooms on the floor so you could rest.

Of course, Jinx did not want to leave your side, but as she tried to follow the older woman, she was stopped by Silco who claimed you need some time by yourself, so you could rest and that he would have someone checking on you periodically.

She was furious - she wanted to be by your side and she didn't like that she was being kept away. What would you think once you woke up and she was not there? So while initially she agreed to let you rest, the moment Silco left "The Last Drop" for business, she immediately ran to the room she was in.

You woke up a few hours later only to find her trembling on the chair next to you, bouncing her knee up and down with rapid speed, while her head was buried in her hands. Blue hair was sticking out from her braids in every direction, while her nails were digging almost painfully into her scalp. Once she heard her name falling weakly out of your lips, she jumped from the chair and circled her hands around you, prepping your face with small kisses. She kept apologizing for not taking care of you, for not noticing how exhausted you had been for the past few days, and promising she would be better for you, as long as you don't leave her.

For the next few days she stayed glued to your side, insisting she needed to help you eat, change, and shower, and every time Sevika or Silco tried to pull her away, she would get both angry and upset. Eventually, they just let her do whatever she wanted, while also making sure you were recovering well.

Despite Jinx denying it, you knew her mind was partly occupied by Vi and her presence in Zaun. You tried to convince her that everything was going to be okay and that you would help her find her sister, but every time she just shook her head, saying that the only person she cared about was you. Deep down, she did blame Vi for what happened to you - if she hadn't decided to randomly pop in the Undercity after so many years, she wouldn't be so stressed and shocked, and you would've been fine.

Jinx becomes even more clingy with you after this and she will nag you to eat, drink, and rest all the time (despite not doing it herself). This girl loves you and while she can't really change who she is, she will try her best to slow down, take a breath and enjoy her time with you without the constant rush and adrenaline.

cc artwork: Max Suleimanov

[lazybutsmexy]

Hi !! Sorry to bother you rn, I'm just here to make a request if you don't mind TT

I've been struggling with anxiety lately and ur work or your fics really put a smile on my face (especially König fics !! I love him sm TvT) and well here I am wanted to request something about König comforting reader when they feel down or low (like cying for no reason or apologize for something random) 🫶🏻

Hello lovely! Thanks for the message 🫶♥️ I'm glad my writings can help put a smile on your face 😊

Warning: angst/comfort, depressive thoughts, König being a sweetheart 🥺

•~•~•~•~•

It's late in the night until it becomes early in the morning. The hours had passed in a haze and you didn't know how to bring yourself to care. You had been staring at the wall in front of you for as long as you remember. Your thoughts were muddled and dark, you wonder if they are even yours to begin with.

There was a weight in your chest that you couldn't brush off, and a pressure behind your eyes you have been keeping at bay for hours. You were completely exhausted from the effort of keeping yourself from breaking down while König was asleep behind you. You knew that the moment you started tearing up you wouldn't be able to stop, and that would certainly wake him up.

You felt him turn around in his sleep - you didn't dare to look over your shoulder, or you would certainly crumble. His breath fanned over the nape of your neck, steady and warm. It was comforting, and you wondered if you even deserved that.

There was a faint chirping of birds outside the window when you heard him moving again, and then you felt his arm secure itself around you. There was a faint stroke of his fingers against your ribs, when you heard him speak.

"...is it one of those days, Liebing?" His voice was throaty, heavy with sleep.

You delayed your answer, partially because you were blaming yourself for waking him and making him deal with those emotions of yours, and partially because there was a knot in your throat that prevented your voice from coming out. He presses a soft kiss on your shoulder - he wasn't rushing you to answer, just letting you know he was patiently waiting. He knew you were awake, there was no hiding from him now.

You nodded, not daring to try and speak at all. You didn't move your hand to cup his, and that told him everything he needed to know.

With a soft sigh, he tugged your side until you relented and turned around to face him. You didn't want to look into his eyes, but when his fingers cupped your chin and made you look up, you met his tender, understanding eyes. You couldn't stop the waterworks now, fat tears rolling down your cheeks as you struggled to form any words.

"I'm-... I'm sor-" you tried to apologize - for waking him, for not being stronger, for being so weak-minded - but your voice cracked and got caught in your throat painfully.

König shushed you and kissed your forehead and cheeks, his arms surrounding you fully and bringing you impossibly closer to him. "Don't apologize, mausi," his muttered against your skin between kissing your tears away, let it out, we can talk later, just let it out."

You crumbled then, sobbing into his chest as his hands wandered over your naked skin. It wasn't sexual in any way, just the weight of his hands pressing against your body, comforting you, grounding you to him.

You didn't know when you fell asleep, you only realized you did it when you woke up. There was sunlight peeking from the heavy window curtains, and a sweet smell enveloping your senses. König's side of the bed was still faintly warm, and you found yourself clutching at one of his hoodies - your favourite one. You looked at it, knowing it hadn't been there the previous night, but in the fresh laundry you had put away. He had picked it up and left it for you.

With a newfound warmth in your chest, you put the hoodie on and crawled off the bed. You washed your face in the en-suite bathroom, and dared to look at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes were swollen and flushed from all the crying, and your hair was everywhere. At least you had managed to get some rest, you supposed.

You finally followed the sweet scent of cooking sugar to the kitchen, where you found your boyfriend stirring a pot and talking on his phone. He was speaking in German, and you couldn't quite pick the words.

"Danke, Mutti," he ended the call and put the phone down, catching you on his periphery and offering you a smile, "good morning, Häschen, breakfast is almost ready."

You tried to mimic his smile, but your face felt sore from all the crying, and chose to approach him instead, peeking over at the pot.

"... Your mom's rice pudding is a dessert," you comment, and he chuckled shortly, his hand finding your waist easily.

"Well, today feels like a day to eat rice pudding for breakfast, don't you think?" He turns off the stove and turns around, grabbing you by your hips and sitting you on the counter. The marble is cold, but his hands were warm, and so was his body as he stood between your thighs.

"Are you feeling better?" His lips brushed your forehead, and you sighed as your fingers clutched the front of his shirt.

"... A little," you hummed, looking up at him when he cupped the back of your head.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"...Not yet."

He leaned down and kissed you softly in the lips, too shortly for your liking, but his lips never went far, brushing against yours as he spoke. "That's alright, mausi. I'll be here when you want to talk."

A/N: König calls his mom 'Mutti', fight me if you disagree 😤

[shiftingwithmars]

🌌𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐬—𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐨 𝐑𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞🌌

A/N: Thought of this while trying to sleep. I’m sorry but I just HAD to write this one

Summary: When Mattheo has a nightmare about his father, he goes to the one person he knows he can always trust. You.

Warnings: Fluff, soft!Mattheo, use of Y/n, Mattheo’s father being a huge jerk as usual, comfort comfort comfort!!

Mattheo woke up with a start, his chest heaving as he gasped for air. The memory of his dream was still fresh in his mind. The burning pain as the ink was tattooed on his skin, the skull and snake reminding Mattheo of the fact that he was born into a fate worse than death. The reminder that he was born to be a monster. He could still remember his father watching in amusement as his son was branded with his own mark.

Mattheo frantically rolled up his sleeve, his eyes immediately falling on his arm. His arm was bare, thank god, but the dream still burned in his mind. The pain, the way his father was so proud to see his son branded as a monster. Mattheo quickly got out of bed, slowly making his way towards the dorm of the one person he could trust. You.

You were half-asleep when Mattheo snuck into your dorm. You glanced up as his familiar figure entered the room, and your eyes immediately fell on the tears running down his cheeks. “Matty?” You questioned with a mixture of confusion and worry as your boyfriend entered your dorm. Mattheo slowly approached you, his lip quivering ever so slightly.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you…” He said softly, but you just waved his words off. “Shh, it’s okay. What’s wrong, baby?” You asked softly, glancing up at Mattheo in concern. “B-bad dream…” Mattheo answered quietly, as if ashamed to even admit it. Your expression softened, and you gently pulled him closer. “Hey, shh…” You sighed, gently tilting his chin so that his gaze met yours “Do you wanna stay here for the night?” You asked softly, to which Mattheo immediately nodded. “Please…”

You gently pulled Mattheo into your lap, his head resting on your chest. He curled up in your lap, burying his face in your shoulder as his tears soaked your shirt. You gently played with his hair, whispering soft words into your boyfriend’s ear as you let him cry against you. “I-it was my father…” Mattheo stumbled out, crying even harder. You listened intently as he explained his dream, your concern only growing more and more as he talked. You trailed soft kisses across his face, telling him that everything was okay and it was all just a dream.

Mattheo slowly began to relax, feeling his eyes grow heavy. You rubbed his back, tracing soft shapes against his skin. Mattheo buried his face in the crook of your neck, letting out a sigh of content as he nestled against you. It wasn’t long before Mattheo fell asleep, listening to the sound of your breathing and the soft beat of your heart.

Mattheo slept peacefully for the rest of the night, safe in the arms of the person he loved. Mattheo was glad that he came to your dorm, thankful for the support of the person he was going to marry one day.

A/N: this was genuinely so fun to write. I just wanna hug and cuddle my boy until he feels better😭

[colossal-fallout]

Hii, you were one of the first blogs I followed when I was new in Tumblr and it's been years already. I've been in and out of the aot fandom, but I recall how obssesed I was with Porco and Reiner in your writtings. And when I read your chapter one of the new story, it got me into it again. Shipping warriors with paradisian characters is my pleasure, specially scouts, and I love the whole possibilities with the paths and inherited memories, so I fell in love with it.

I saw your requests for hcs are open so, if you can, could you do about warriors x scout reader hcs? How it would be and all? (yes, the Porco story inspired me)

Thank you for being here!

And gladly - it's something I often think about / write about. It would be such a beautifully cruel love but then again, the world is cruel, right?

Including some lore planned for my fic. If the lore I have implemented in wasn't there and you were just a normal person then everything would still play out pretty much the way it does in the Manga. Everyone is far too well disciplined for anything else. It'll make sense when you read it lol

Warrior X You (A member of the Survey Corps)

Porco - Annie For Reiner & Bertoldt I've kinda already done you can read them here. It wouldn't really be much different than what I have already written.

Warnings: Angst. Fluff. Smut. GN Reader.

Everything going on with the curse of Ymir is literally due to the cycle of hatred and breaking that awful pattern. And so the love between a Warrior and someone from the Isle of the devils is something so pure and must be treasured.

Ymir herself probably set this up or helped via paths and memories. The memories aren't meant to teach further hate, but to understand and grow - something no one has achieved thus far.

Until you come along that is.

Porco

As written in my fic, Porco would first see you through the eyes of Ymir and her memories, as he tries to comb through to see his brother's.

He only catches glimpses of you at first but you took his breath away. He'd never thought he'd ever lay eyes on someone so perfect.

Tries to differentiate between his own reactions and if this is how Ymir felt. But no, Ymir was with that Historia person.

100% convinced you're a witch / warlock.

Because of course, the only thing to make him tremble, blush and his heart race is witchcraft. Porco isn't one for menial things like romance. Sure, he loves the attention he gets for being a warrior but he doesn't really have time to hunt kitty. If he wasn't so dedicated it'd be a different story, Porco obviously is ego driven a lot of the time.

In my fics it's because you were placed there specifically from a different universe (ours) to have a fresh set of eyes, heart and the chance to break the cycle. You can't be turned into a titan because you're not Eldian, you're from here. (You're not aware of this though, at least not yet) yet you have access to paths but only when Ymir sees fit.

So when you're both asleep, sometimes you'll both have extremely vivid dreams about talking to each other. Full on conversations. And they go on for a while. Like 3 years on and off.

When you figure out you're both real and from different continets, well that's up to you whether or not to try and get information from him. He won't ever give away secrets and will probably begin to resent you for trying when he fell for you so hard. So I wouldn't recommend it. Push everything away. This time in paths is sacred. The war can wait.

It'll even go so far as to making love within paths, and waking up with the love mark on your neck and him with nail marks in his back just confirms further this is real.

Porco removes his shirt after a heavy training exercise;

Peick: 😳😳😳

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Do... do you have a girlfriend? /boyfriend?"

"W-what?! N-no, don't be dumb."

Zeke: "Then what are those love scratches doing down your back? Someone's been a bad boy to a good little pussy cat."

Porco will go beetroot red denying it and instantly healing them now he was aware they were there.

Adhere by the law of ymir and when you meet, well, its up to you what happens. But the path of true love and peace is right there to take.

Annie

The paths route will be a little harder to take with other shifters at first, because they don't have any memories linking you together. And well, you're physically together so it's not really needed. (Except Pieck & Zeke)

In the Anime/Manga, Annie certainly has a soft spot for Armin, evidently. She's probably the closest one to undoing the cycle if you weren't there.

When you're there it's different. It's like you're magnetically drawn to titan shifters, and them to you, because of your gift from Ymir. Explains why you get along with them better than most during training.

Annie, like the others are pretty far down the conditioning hole and it'll take quote a bit for her to even consider a romance with the enemy.

But again, there's just something special about you. Your aura screams magnetism and there's just something so mystical about you.

You radiate kindness and understanding - it may be hard because well you don't know anything else. But your empathy and understanding is what helps your case with Ymir on judgment day.

But when they fall for you, they fall hard. It really is just up to you what decisions you'll make with their heart in your palm. But remember - Ymir is watching.

[faegoddessog]

 Seventy Two Hours of Bliss Ch. 35/41

Chapter 35: The Road Ahead

Chapter Warnings: Explicitly mature content, 18+ only, Fingering, unprotected PiV, (play safe ya'll) mention of past self harm (There is help for self-harm, Text CONNECT to 741741 ), angst, possessive sex,

Series Masterlist 

Series Summary:

You are neighbors with Austin Butler on the Gold Coast of Australia just prior to shooting Elvis. You become just friends because he is taken. However, after he is single again, you both find out just how attracted you are to one another and things get unrelentingly hot.

SERIES WARNING: Explicitly mature content, 18+ only,  here there be lemons.

Authors Notes: I started writing this while remodeling my kitchen, so that informed the slightly quirky narrative. It starts slow, but once it heats up, it is on fire. I have tried to pull facts from RL as much as I could, but obviously there are some assumptions and flat out dreamy wishes  involved here. 

Chapter 35: The Road Ahead

Late one night in the beginning of July, you are lying in bed unable to sleep.  Austin is conked out next to you, he looks like an angel, breathing softly in the light of your phone. You habitually pull up your email. The top email is from the US Antarctic program. You are suddenly terrified to open it. You toss your phone to the foot of the bed like it’s on fire. 

Shit, it’s here. The thing  you have been dreaming of and yet dreading in the back of your mind is actually here. One long held, life-affirming dream potentially lying in wait at the foot of the bed, another fresh, new, love-affirming dream lying next to you. What if you have to choose between them? You aren't ready to confront a choice like this. 

What if Antarctica doesn't want you and you never end up going. One dream crushed. The other is still here, asleep next to you. 

But what if they do want you. You HAVE to go. This, plus renovating Tom and Rita’s in Greece, will complete your 7 continents. You wouldn't forgive yourself if you give up on your ‘every continent’ goal. It's the one thing that kept you going after facing death, after being broken mind, body, heart and soul. You just can’t, not for anyone, not even for Austin.  But if you go, what will happen between you? Will he still want you, will you still want him?  What if absence makes the heart grow forgetful instead of fonder. You push those thoughts away viciously, your heart rate increasing. 

Oh my god, you don't know how to feel right now, strong opposing emotions stretch your capacity to think rationally.  You swirl perilously close to that blank place of apathy. Thought patterns and emotions you thought you had dealt with, re-surfacing after so many years. The place you fell into when he left while you were still in your hospital bed. That place you went when you were torn apart physically, mentally and that fucker left your heart and self esteem in tatters.  The place of neutral feelings, everything gray and bland.  The place where bright streaks of red welling up on your arms weren't cause for alarm, just a way of feeling something, anything.  The place where living and dying were all the same. 

'Fuck no you don't!' She screams inside your head, color and knife edge emotions brought back into sharp focus, 'We are NOT doing that again! Austin isn't him. He would never do that to you!' 

You roll over and huddle into the angel's chest, hiding from what may be on your phone. Your breath is shallow and shaky. FUCK! Why can’t you just stay in the now. The literal right now, in your little Austin bubble where he is yours (and Elvis’) all day, every day.  What if all this between you is just because it’s convenient? What if absence makes him simply forget you exist? What if someone else, swoops in and takes him away from you while you are gone? You try in vain to take in big, long breaths, attempting to shove those dangerous thoughts out of your head. 

'Shut the fuck up bullshit inadequacy!" She is so much more than just a sex-driven demon. 

You start trembling, clinging to him, hoping it’ll stop before he wakes up.  Damnit, you know better than to get yourself worked up. Fucking anxiety attack. 

‘When the hell did you become THIS girl?’ you ask yourself, ‘Antarctica is your dream!"

‘When you fucking fell in love with that sexy boy right there,”  she states, "when you let yourself finally become vulnerable to someone else."

Woken by your movement and the breath across his skin, Austin folds you in his arms. 

This only manages to make you shake more. Knowing you aren't actually alone here is like permission to let all that has been running around your head leak out. 

“Hey, Kitten,” his voice gravelly with sleep.” hey, what’s wrong? I’m here baby, it’s ok. Shhhh,”

His immediate concern shifts your anxiety into tears. Damnit.

“Wanna talk about it, Kitten?”  he asks, concerned and rubbing your back, ”was it a bad dream.” 

“No baby,” you sob, “it’s this dream…It’s too good…..what if it doesn’t ….” you whimper into his chest, tears wetting his skin. 

“What are you talking about, sweetheart?” he pets your hair soothingly. 

“What if you forget …And someone else,” you are practically hyperventilating and unable to finish your sentences through your sobs, ”So in love ...  how can I … will you want...... how can I face mys- … fuck… why am I so… fuck!" tears stream down your face. 

“Shhhh, Kitten, darling,” he doesn't try to understand, he just holds you close, kissing your forehead, “I love you baby, just breathe.”

Gradually you get your breathing under control and your heart beat slows as the anxiety runs it's course. He sits up, leaning against the headboard, taking you with him. He turns on the bedside lamp, hands you the bottle of water he keeps there and a tissue. 

You blow your nose, feeling a little foolish, and sip the water. 

“Are you ready to tell me what is going on?” he asks as you hand the bottle back to him.

"I'm so sorry baby, fucking anxiety," head hanging and your hand covering your face, feeling a little ashamed.

"Whoa, sweetie," he gently removes your hand and holds it in his rubbing his thumb along the back.  He tips your chin up to look at him, "there is nothing to be sorry for. I am here for you my love, no matter what."  

His loving gaze melts you.  You take a deep breath, then another. You nod and reach for your phone.

“I haven’t read it yet to see what it says, but I got an email from the Antarctica people and um… all my anxiety just exploded.”

“Why anxiety hunny? I thought that would be exciting for you,” he frowns a little, "it's what you've been waiting for." 

“Well, what if they said no, there goes my dream of all 7 continents, but what if they said yes… and I... I leave,” your voice gets shaky again and words tumble out as if they will never be said unless you say them quickly. “What if you forget all about me and I never see you again.  And why the fuck am I being so insecure? But how can I not go, it’s my dream and yes, so exciting and I don’t want to lose you, but… I mean I would never ask or expect you to give up your career and dreams to follow me around the world carrying boxes...“

Austin places one hand on your cheek, arresting your freight train of thought.  “Oh baby, we knew this was coming, and yeah it's a daunting now that it's here, but I would never ask you to give up on those dreams for any reason.  It’s another one of those things that makes me love you," his other hand frames your face, his eyes boring into yours, "Did you hear that? I. Love. You. Forgetting you is simply not possible. Do you think I hand out custom butt plugs to everyone I’ve dated? No. You are so unique and such an amazing human.  And no, I wouldn’t give up my dreams, but I would follow you anywhere and carry anything for you. So instead of what-if-ing, let's see what they actually said,” his deep voice has a calming effect on your nerves. 

You open the phone, then shove it over to him, “You read it, I’m too nervous.”

He nods, licking his lips. He is nervous too. He scans the email. 

“They want you baby,” he smiles up at you.

“What?!” you snatch the phone from him. The email says you are the primary applicant for the Antarctica position you interviewed for last February. They want you on the winfly to prep the station for the austral summer influx.  Your contract would run until February with an option for longer should you choose. Because of quarantine procedures and mandatory training you will have to leave in two weeks. They want an answer in 48 hours. 

“Oh fuck, two weeks, I thought I’d have longer than that.” You look up at him with tears threatening.  You don’t even know how to feel; elated? sad? scared?  “Should I tell them yes?” you ask, all nerves.

“Um, you had better! You would never forgive yourself or me if you didn’t,” he knows you so well.

“Fuck, you are right. I would end up so pissed if I told them no," you realize that saying no for him would drive an inevitable wedge between you, "I guess I’m going to Antarctica!” the excitement starts to seep into the cracks left behind by the anxiety.  

“I’m so excited for you! You are gonna crush it!” he grabs your face and plants a kiss on your lips, then pulls you close for a hug. 

“I’m going to miss you so much though babe,” you say into his chest. 

“Kitten, it’s not even a year, we can handle that. Besides,  in this day and age, it’s nothing. I’ll call you all the time,” he tries to reassure you. 

You pull away from him, forehead crinkled and look him dead in the eye. 

“Oh, Austin, there is no cell service there. They barely have internet. That’s why I’m scared you’ll …. “ you let your sentence fade off. It’s stupid, the idea he’ll forget you, but the fear of losing him is bigger than you ever wanted it to be. This is why you have not gotten involved with anyone for so long. Fear of losing... again.  

“Ok then, we will do it old school and I’ll write you letters,” he smiles, undeterred, “and if they don’t have mail I’ll use a carrier penguin.” 

This makes you crack a smile. 

“Kitten, something you may not have realized about me, when I fall in love, I do it hard. And nothing and no one is going to change how I feel about you,” his hands are cradling your face, thumbs wiping away stray tears, “got it baby?” 

You just nod, holding his hand to your cheek. 

He kisses you lovingly and sweetly, then deeper more passionate but still tender. He pushes you onto your back, rolling on top of you. His weight comforting as his tongue gently explores your mouth. He kisses you until all the anxiety is washed away, replaced with pure undiluted Austin. 

“Do you want me, Kitten?” he whispers, pressing his stiff cock against your thigh, ”can I make love to you?” 

“Please yes,” you whisper back, legs spreading to make room for his hips. His mouth is on your neck, kissing and gently sucking as his hardness finds its way inside you, filling you. It feels so blissfully good. He moves in you in this sweet, gentle way. He is unhurried.  Each instroke is strangely soothing to your soul. Things have been so surreal in the world, but this, this moment, is as real as it gets. 

In the morning, you get an appointment with your therapist. You hadn’t needed a session in a while. She is, luckily, available because of the time difference. You give her the rundown of the situation and how those self-destructive thoughts surfaced again.

She talks about how something so traumatic never really leaves you, and it’s normal that they arise from time to time, triggered by similar strong emotions. You talk about Austin, about how deeply in love you are with him, how you are afraid of losing him,  all the things he did and said when you were having your breakdown. 

“You have come so far from the girl who first told me she would rather die than fall in love again. He sounds like a good one. Have you told him about what happened?” She asks. 

“Not exactly, he knows I was in an accident, he knows I was engaged. But not the whole story, it’s just not come up,” you say. 

“You should tell him, give him some context for your fears,” she suggests. 

You nod, she has a point. 

After you end the session, you and Austin facetime to your Uncle Roy. He agrees to let Austin stay in the apartment rent free. 

“I like that there is someone there during the pandemic” Uncle Roy says, “plus Austin is like family now.”  Just as he says that, Marissa walks in.

“Daddy, can I borrow the…” she looks at the screen, “Why are you watching an interview with Austin Butler?” 

Oh shit. 

You whisper, ‘Marissa’ to Austin. He raises his eyebrows as if to say, ‘you ready for this?’

Well, here goes nothing! 

“Hey Mar!” you pop your head into view. 

“It’s your cousin and her boyfriend in the Aussie apartment,  Mari Bear,” your uncle has no idea that the cat is out of the bag. He doesn’t even know there is a cat OR a bag. 

Marissa just stares at the screen, mouth agape as Austin puts his arm around you so you can  both fit into the phone screen. 

“Wait, YOU’RE THE FRENCH WOMAN?! How the hell!!” She squeals, grabbing her phone. 

“Put the phone DOWN Mari!” you say threateningly. Mari freezes. “Uncle Roy, thank you so much for being so cool about this, I need to talk with Mari girl to girl  for a second.”

“You two and all your girl talk, since you were kids,” he waves his hand, shrugs and steps out of the room. You step away from Austin. 

“Listen Mar,” you voice lowered conspiratorially, “we are not ready to go public with this so if you or anyone you know or that follows you even so much as hint that you know the identity of the ‘French woman’, anywhere online and I will 1. Never you let you meet Austin in person and 2. I will tell EVERYONE about what happened at the lake and I mean everyone.”

“You wouldn’t dare!” Mar gasps, looking around to make sure her dad isn’t near. 

“Like hell I wouldn’t. That is how important this is to me, and yes, I still have the negatives,” you remind her.  

“Okay, Okay! Well when you are out, can I have a big reveal for my channel?” She asks, trying to bargain. 

“How about this, if you keep fucking quiet, we will set you up with his publicist and we will work something out.” you say, walking back to Austin, giving him a thumbs up. 

“Holy fuck, I’m freaking out right now!” Mari exclaims as you lean up against Austin.

He gives her a little finger-tip wave.

“Hey Marissa, nice to meet you. Thanks for keeping this on the DL, for us. We really appreciate it,” he says in his interview voice,  giving her a winning smile. 

“Oh, of course Mr. Butler,” she is all flustered. 

“It’s just Austin, but thank you,” he nods his head. 

Once you get off the phone, you glance at Austin. 

“You handled that well, what did you say to keep her quiet?” giving you a side eye.

“Well, I’ve been handling Mar our whole lives. I love her cuz she’s family, but she has trouble with boundaries. I have dirt on her that she doesn’t want out. And um…  I told her we’d hook her channel  up with your publicist when, and if, we are ready.” 

“Hmm, alright, I’m not sure how she will feel about that, but we can talk,” he says. 

“Yeah, oh fuck, I didn’t think, will your publicist follow her socials? I won’t be able to with no internet,” you ask. 

I will call her later and we will talk about it,” he smiles at you.

For the next two weeks, any time not spent  filling out forms and packing things either for storage or Antarctica is spent with Austin. He still studies Elvis every day, not wanting to lose his momentum. You try to find the right time to tell him more about what happened with your ex, but it never seems right. You cook together, watch some of your favorite movies, you take moonlight walks on the beach and the sex… oh my god the sex. 

You have been trying out your hand at mixed drinks for the past several nights. Tonight is gin night. You have about a week until you leave.  You are both on your way to being tipsy, having tried a  Tom Collins  then Negronis. You had just made two shaken gin martinis and  clinked them together, feeling super fancy.

“I have a prezzie-prize for you babe,” you say, feeling goofy. You reach into your bag and pull out a post mailer. “I had the mail wrap it for you.” You giggle at your own joke and hand it to him. 

“OH! A present! For me!!” he exclaims, being silly himself.

He tears open the package. It’s two pairs of Meundies boxer briefs. The first one has martini glasses with the words ‘extra dirty’ on them. Two little olives are cuddling in the glasses with a little heart over their heads. Yeah, you might’ve timed this with your drinks on purpose. He looks at the second pair and then at you.

“You didn’t” he says. You just nod with a huge grin on your face They are light blue and covered in unicorns with rainbow manes and tails, just like your favorite panties. He just laughs and hugs you to him. “I love them hunny."

He insists that you two go up to the rooftop with your drinks. 

You grab blankets and toss your drinks into to-go cups with lids. There are no lights up there, just the ambient light of the city. He stands there looking out over the ocean, sipping his drink. You slip under his arm. It’s a little chilly, maybe 15C, the breeze from the ocean making it feel a little colder. 

“I know I’m a little drunk, but I want the world to know that I love you, Kitten.” He kisses you softly,  then holds his drink up and yells at the top of his lungs “I, Austin Butler, love this woman right here!”  

A distant ‘good for you! Now shut up!’ bounces off the buildings.  

You giggle as he sits on one of the lounge chairs, laughing. He draws you down on his lap, straddling him. 

“I love you too, so much it kinda hurts,” you admit.

“Hurts? No, no baby,” he shakes his head, putting his drink down, ”I don’t want you to hurt, only feel good. Here let me kiss it and make it better.” He leans forward filling both his hands with your breasts and plants a kiss in the middle of your chest, on your heart. 

Your fingers play in his hair as you lean down and breathe deep the scent of him in the cool night air. Filing it away in your memory as best you can. 

“All your kisses make me better, darlin’,” you mutter, kissing the top of his head, feeling the gin seep into your brain.

He takes your cup and sets it down next to his.  You wrap the blankets you brought around you both. He cradles your jaw and your lips meet.  You moan against his closed mouth, inhibitions evaporating. You are both just a little clumsy from the alcohol, but the ‘whiskey kisses’ are divine.  

“You are so hot Kitten.  I had a dream the other day that I fucked you up here,” he murmurs against your lips, hand rubbing against your clothed crotch. 

“You dream about me?” you had no idea.

“Oh yeah, all the time. Why do you think I wake you up with my cock so often. Damn, I’m gon’ miss that,” he presses his face to your breasts. 

“Tell me your dream, baby,” you cradle his head against you. 

“I was young Elvis,” he leans back looking into your neckr eyes, “and you were an adoring fan, sittin’ on my lap just like this, arms around me, only you had on a little skirt with nothing on under.  The sun was sinking and you glowed as I slipped into you. And now I’m gonna slide into you right here,” he says, “make you a puddle in my lap.” His hands undo your bra under your shirt with only two tries. His lips and teeth are against you. 

Your insides clench tight, juices starting to flow. 

“I would be disappointed if you didn’t,” you say, rocking back and forth onto his swelling bulge. His hands slide into the waistband of your pants. You try to get your pants off of one leg. In your haste and clumsiness, you end up falling off his lap onto the grass, taking the blankets with you. You both start laughing. 

He helps you up and you wiggle out of your pants. You straddle him again, re-settling the blankets around you both. His hand slips up your shirt to palm your breast in circles, watching your brow furrow in desire and your teeth capture your bottom lip. He gives you a naughty little grin and lifts your shirt over your tits. Gathering your breasts together with both hands, he licks your nipples. The cold air makes the flesh pucker. He pulls one into his mouth sucking hard, making you drop your head back and moan. Your hands curl up into his long hair, grasping him to you. His tongue is like fire licking your belly. 

Your hands push between your bodies, unfastening his fly and reaching to pull him out. He helps, his big cock already stiff and upright. 

“Do you see what you do to me, my beautiful Enchantress?” he motions to his cock, “Even tipsy as I am, I’m hard as hell for you.” 

“What I do? Feel what you do to me,” you lift up to give him space to reach between your legs. “My god Austin, just the mention of putting that gorgeous cock in me, made my cunt drip in anticipation. I want you so desperately.” 

He slips his dexterous digits between your folds. 

“Oh fuck baby, you are one horny minx aren’t you,” the corners of his beautiful mouth curl up and his demon gazes up at you. He begins to curl his fingers, finding the spongy, rough section on your front wall.

You are shaking, not from cold, but from eagerness. You love him inside you; want him like this always; always inside you somehow; always wanting you.  Your juices run in a runnel down his fingers and into his palm. Low moans flow from you.

“Oh my god,” you cry out, louder than you meant to. 

“Now, now Kitten, Are you gonna be quiet for me?” he asks.

“No,” your tipsy self answers honestly with a little giggle.

"Well that guy," he points over his shoulder, "might yell at you." 

"Fuck that guy," you shrug.

"No thanks, I'd rather fuck you." He pulls you into a passionate kiss. You grind your pussy into his hand.

Suddenly you are both overcome with desire. 

“Get that cock in me,” your tone demanding against his lips. 

He nods, holding himself by the base as you lift up. He positions himself at your opening and you grind down onto him in circles. Your moans mingle in your kiss.

The little pocket between you where his cock had been lying in wait, was chilly, despite all the blankets wrapped around you two. He feels cool inside you, so you can only imagine how warm you must feel to him. 

“Oh yes,” he moans, the alcohol hindering his usual verbal restraint, ”take all that cock like a good girl.” 

He feels so good inside you.

“Aw, I like being naughty though,” you retort, smiling at him and sliding up and back down onto him, wetness covering his cock.

“Who’s naughty Kitten are you then?” he asks, his voice deep.

“Well, let me see…” you joke, continuing to ride him. 

He tightens his grip on your hips, stopping your movement. 

“Who’s are you?” his eyes are suddenly serious and piercing. The tipsiness slows your brain just  enough that you don’t see the insecurity in his face until he thrusts hard and deep into you, bringing your senses into sharp focus. 

“Oh fuck,” is all you can say. 

“Who’s dirty girl are you?” he asks, louder, thrusting again. 

“I’m yours, baby,” looking into his eyes and finally seeing his seriousness.  

“Who owns this dripping, hot, wet, pussy?” each descriptor punctuated by a hard thrust into you.

“Oh Fuck, you do!” it would hurt if you weren’t so fucking turned on. 

“Who does?” he asks

“You do Austin. It’s your pussy.” 

“That’s right,” his voice is raspy, as he pulls your hair out of your face,  “You are MY naughty little Kitten. My dirty girl. All Mine!” 

“All yours baby,“ you say, rocking him in and out of you, “All yours to finger, to suck and lick, all yours to pound, yours to play with.” 

You press yourself close to his chest, pulling blankets up and around you both again. “Please, please don’t stop fucking me.” 

“Never,” he says through clenched teeth. 

His hands grips your legs, his hips raising and lowering his cock in and out of you. Your hand is braced behind his neck, forehead to forehead. He is steadily fucking you. 

“Oh god, I love it, I love that,” you moan in his ear, unable to stop words spilling out your mouth. 

Your knees are sliding wider and wider apart, wanting him deep, wanting him to slam into your clit with each thrust.

“Your pussy, your pussy, your pussy”, flows out your mouth. 

You are so close to the breech, mouth open. He can tell you are close so he quickens his pace. Your top teeth sink into the fleshy part of his shoulder, pussy clenching down.

“Oh Kitten, my dirty girl, I love fucking you,” his voice husky and low. His hips jerking roughly into you. 

 “Oh god, yeeeeessss,” you scream, arching back, his words triggering pelvic spasms around the stiff rod he is torturing you with. A closed-mouth high-pitched wail sounds out your nose as you gyrate on his cock through an orgasm.

 Even if you wanted to, you can’t stop your hips from moving, jerking,  grinding onto him.

“You’re so fucking perfect baby, cumming on my cock like that. God damn,” even through your orgasm you recognize the deep desire in his voice. 

He lifts you off of him.

“Nononono don’t stop” you whine.

“Never, baby,” he slides his legs to either side as he pushes you back to lie on the foot of the lounge, the blankets behind you. You don’t even feel the cold. Your legs are  up by his shoulders, throbbing pussy exposed and open to him. 

“Do you want my cum?” he asks, his voice harsh with desire, his fingers flicking across your clit.

“Yes, yes, yes,” is your breathy reply, 

“Say it, Kitten. Do you want my cum?” he asks again, placing the tip of his glorious self at your opening.

“Fuck yes I want your cum Austin, please, I need your cock in me, fuck me please” you beg, your filter totally gone. “Please give me all your cum right here,” you tap out little slaps on your pussy. 

With you so lascivious under him, so lustful with need, he can’t hold back.  With a groan, he immerses himself in you. Immediately charging towards his own orgasm with fervor, hands on your shoulders, pulling you towards him. 

“Oh God,  fuck,  you make me cum so good! You make me cum so good! You make me cum so good!” your strings of words getting higher in pitch, on the brink of cumming against his onslaught. His hands slide to either side of your head. Forcing you to look at him. 

“Who’s pussy’s gonna cum?” he says through gritted teeth. His head is still, but his hips are pitching into you with such force, only his hands on your head keep the vision of him from being a total blur.

“Your pussy, baby, yours. You fuck your pussy so good, so good, so good, so fucking good.” Like a deluge of water dropping on you all at once, another orgasm slams into you, making you writhe under him, teeth imprinting onto his hand to muzzle the sound of your screaming. 

“That’s my girl. Cream that cock, dirty girl, fuck you feel so good,” he moans. Crest after crest of your orgasm seizes his cock, bringing him closer to baptizing you in his cum. 

“Who’s dirty girl are you?” he urges, wanting to possess you.

“I’m your d-d-d-d-dirty girl, I’m your dirty girl,” you stutter and moan out as you ride the wave of shivering pleasure. “Give me your cum. I want it, I want it in me!”

“It’s yours baby, it’s your cum, only for you Kitten,” he is pounding you hard, fast, head tucked down into your neck and shoulder.  "Oh Fuuuuuck, yessss!”  hisses out of him as he pushes deep and fills your pussy. “Oh  Gawawawad!” his whole body seizes on top of you.

Your arms and legs clutch him to you.  You are overwhelmed with emotion, everything you’ve been holding back about leaving welling up with your enormous orgasm.  

He  sits back in the lounge chair and pulls you and the blankets against him. You don’t realize it at the time, but his deep shaky breaths are hiding his own emotional overwhelm.  

After a while,  how long you can’t say as time feels fake,  you are curled up against Austin half naked, both of you calmer and somewhat less drunk. 

“Are you awake Kitten?” he ventures quietly and a bit nervously. 

“Yeah,” you answer, sensing something is off, “you ok?” 

“I, uh, I need to say something and um… I don’t want you to take it wrong,” he begins.

You sit up in his lap to look him in the face, suddenly terrified of what he is going to say.

“If you are breaking up with me…” your mind falls to the worst thing you can think of at that moment.

“What? NO! No, no!” he interrupts you, a look of horror on his face as he grips your outstretched hands. 

“Jesus,” your eyes close and you breathe a sigh, “what is wrong with me?” you mutter to yourself. You know what is wrong, it's time to tell him. 

“Oh babe,” he cups your check, “there is nothing wrong with you or with us. I just need to…” He hesitates.” Ok, there is a part of me that is so excited for you to live your dream. But there is also a chunk of me that doesn’t want you to go,” his forehead creases and furrows as he admits this to you. “And to be clear, I’m not asking you to give it up, I just need to be honest and present with my feelings. I know it’s a scary pandemic world right now, but I wouldn’t trade this time with you for anything. I’ve fallen so hard for you, I don’t know how I’m gonna do this without you. And what if you meet someone else? I know it’s stupid but you’ll be down there so far away and I can’t call. That's why the possessive stuff during... “ he bites his lip. ”What if… I have this weird fear that what if what we are feeling for each other doesn't translate to being apart? What if we can’t do this?"

You reach up, smoothing his forehead with your thumb. You hadn't realize he was feeling insecure too.  

“Same baby,” you say simply, “on all accounts.  I am excited AND I don’t want to leave. I’m also terrified that you will find someone else in the months that I am gone, I mean you are a sexy heartthrob of a man in the public eye, women and men must fall at your feet. I’m not sure how I’m going to cope without you either. I’m just hoping that we will both be so busy we won’t have time to dwell on it. And, I like being your dirty girl." you smile. 

"Listen Baby, I need to tell you this,  just so you have some context," you take a deep breath and forge ahead, "Do you remember I told you about the guy I used to flip houses with,” Austin nods, his face intent with listening. “Well, we were engaged when I had my accident and when he found out that I couldn't have kids, he came to the hospital the next day and broke it off. He said he didn’t want to drag it out, but that kids were the priority for him and he didn't want to waste any time finding the real mother of his children."

Austin looks appalled by this. You just nod.

"I was crushed, I was nothing but a baby factory in his eyes.  By the time I was out of the hospital, he had moved out of our apartment,  divided our holdings in half and left with no forwarding address or number. IHis family wouldn't take my calls. I didn’t get the chance to have any closure.  I slipped into a deep depression, feeling no self worth.  I started cutting myself just to feel something, anything. "

"Oh baby," Austin strokes your hands, empathy and concern on his face.

" Yeah, it was bad. I had a lot of therapy and meds. I slowly realized the gift of getting away from him, he would have never loved me for me. The continent thing was born when I started my own remodeling business, initially as a way to get away from that past. It grew into a passion. This dream has healed me in so many ways. I became an independent, curious, educated citizen of the world again.  It allowed me to meet you. I didn't think I’d ever let anyone this close to me again, but with you it was so damn easy I didn’t have to think twice.

“So yeah, I am afraid of losing you and I’m sorry I let my insecurity jump to conclusions. Will our relationship stand being apart? Babe, there is only one way to find out and it’s walking towards our fears.”

He nods again. You take another breath, and grab both his hands.

“I do know this: I’ve been ‘around’,” you admit, “ I’ve dated a fair number of people, and, honestly I’ve slept with a fair few more. Not one of them holds a candle to you,  to how you make me feel, the things you do to me. I have never before found what we have right here,” you move your clasped  hands up to each of your hearts. “I had given up on trying to find someone, until you. I am in awe of you Austin Butler and it blows me away that you consent to be with me.” 

“Consent? Kitten, I WANT to be with you. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me all  that, especially the cutting, that can be hard to share.  I see why you responded the way you did, it makes a lot of sense. You have been through so much, seen so much of the world and have done it with grace and kindness and strength. You are amazing and brave and so fucking sexy. I will state for the record that I don’t care if you can’t have kids.  I want YOU, just as you are. You bring parts of me out that I didn’t know I had and I can’t keep my hands off you. I’m not going to deny the ego boost of getting that kind of attention from the public but at the end of the day it’s not fulfilling. It’s not THIS, “ he grips your hands back, “I am astonished that YOU are willing to be with ME, and I just want to be enough for you.”

“We are a pair, aren’t we,” you chuckle, shaking your head, “here we are worried about the same things, and each of us feeling insecure about not being good enough for the other, yet so over the moon about one another.”

“Well when you put it that way….yeah, “ he smiles, “I think we need to tell our insecurities to shut the fuck up and agree that we are more than enough. See through love’s eyes, instead of fear’s.”

“One hundred percent agree,” you smile at him, “and however we end up communicating over the next 7 months, let’s just be as honest as we can with each other. I mean if we decide it isn’t working, I’d rather not be delusional.”

“I don’t like to think about that, but I’d much rather be honest, so yeah,” he nods his head.  

“And,” you put your forehead to his, “I will make this promise to you: once Antarctica is over and I finish Tom and Rita’s, if you still want me, I will follow you to the ends of the earth.” 

“Take out the insecure ‘if you still want me’ part and it’s a deal,” he smiles at you.

“OK,” you breathe, starting over, “once Antarctica is over and I finish in Greece, I promise I will follow you to the ends of the earth.” 

“Not unless I follow you first babe,” he pulls you into a sweet kiss, hand on your chin. 

[bullet-prooflove]

Donna’s Wednesday Radio Show Prompt List #6

Hey guys! As some of may know I do a weekly radioshow on Wednesdays and I thought why not put together a prompt list from some of the songs I’ve been playing. I thought it would bring some fresh prompts into our world!

Feel free to pop any of these prompts with a charcter I write for (You can find these on the pinned post on my blog) into my ASK box!

1.      won't let me see this side of you

2.      You looked at death in a tarot card and you saw what you had to do

3.      I'm drinking tonight, gonna give up the fight

4.      turning me on Like a slow fire burn

5.      I choke back tears 'til I damn near drown

6.      You're not gonna make it

7.      Loveless nights, they seem so long I know that I'll hold you someday.

8.      We still talk like everyday But we don't talk in the same way that we used to

9.      This is the last time you say After the last line you break

10.   He pulled you closer, said he'll never let go

11.   And if only I could find the words Or muster up the nerve to tell her

12.   Can't keep my hands to myself

13.    the ghost of my sin

14.   But till you come back where you belong It's just another lonely Sunday.

15.   I fell for a boy who could never ever let me walk home that way 'Cause you gotta be safe

16.   You say that you love me, You won't remember in the morning

17.   I wish I'd known that it would be this hard to be alone. Please, come home!

18.   You're speaking like you really love him

19.   Maybe we'll see that we were wrong If ever we look back one day

20.   I thought that I was the exception I could rewrite your addiction

21.   The only thing stronger than you is whiskey

22.   Please, come back, don't you leave me

23.   When you're dying in LA

24.   Now all I can do is lay in my room Fall asleep, dream of you

25.   Tonight with me Won't you cut it up and dance all over me

26.   I'll never forget her and she'll always have a part of me

27.   He can be the one you run to, the one that saves ya

28.   the taste of goodbye on your lips when you kiss me

29.   You couldn't trust him but you never said no

30.   You trace my lines Stirring my soul

31.   And now you're dancing like you need him

32.   Don't let me go down this road again, We both know where this ends

33.   Put it in your pocket don't tell anyone I gave ya

34.   But for an angel, she's a hot, hot mess

35.   We both know love is not that easy

36.   He kissed you on the lips and opened your eyes

37.   Goodbye to my hopes and dreams

38.   I'm not gonna stay and watch you circle the drain

39.   Trust me, you'll make it through

40.   I know that I'm running out of time

41.   You had to catch your breath, got such a surprise

42.   Might be over now, but I feel it still

43.   Every now and then she makes you just a little bit crazy

44.   And you always forgot how it feels to live in his lies

45.   I wanna watch you undress

46.   It was your first cigarette

47.   But friends keep telling you what he did last night

48.   give-me-some-more girl

49.   In that moment he made you forgot how it feels when he's gone

50.   I know that it's wrong Still I run right into you

51.   I would rather we just go our different ways

52.   And now you're feeling like you miss him

53.   And you try to remember that there's no way you could ever be friends

54.   You better get your shit together

55.   He's out your system yeah it took you a while

56.   I know, 'cause I've been there too

57.   You and me together, forever

58.   I'ma disappear when they come for me

59.   You surround me, pull me, drown me then swallow me whole

60.   I shake and I shiver just to feel you breathe

61.   And all you want is just to hold her

62.   I forget who you used to be

63.   She's like a one-way ticket cause you can't come back

64.   You're way too young to be broken

65.   You pull me in close And buckle my knees

66.   I know it must seem frightening To have the world fall apart right under your shoes

67.   And I bit my lip the second you sipped The poison that was mixed for me

68.   You're way too young to play these games

69.   'Cause there are deeper and darker things than you

70.   From the beating of your heart

71.   Everything's turning dark to you

72.   I'm not the one Who wants to hurt you

[rajian]

wolgraha-week, day 5: comfort

A little bit of backstory for my Rajian: As she grew up in an orphanage, it was really important to her to found one herself which she did as soon as possible.

I hope you will enjoy this story :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been a long day again.

The kids at Koizumi Orphanage needed new school books again. A few of the bedrooms needed new furniture. A lot of planning. A lot of talking. A lot of writing. Rajian was tired.

When she came home she did not even wonder why she hadn’t locked the door. „It’s just one of those days“ she thought by herself.

Only when she entered the house she noticed the smell. The smell of… something… grilled?! While she was still standing there trying to process why her home would smell like food a red-haired head popped out of the kitchen. „Welcome home“ G’raha said with a big grin.

„Raha?! What are you doing here? I-I-I mean, not like I don’t want you to be but it is Wednesday and already 9pm and don’t you have work to do tomorrow and…“ there. She was babbling again. What a great thing to do when somebody comes to your home to prepare you a meal. „Don’t worry about it“ G’raha said softly. „It’s not like I really need to be at this meeting tomorrow. I’ll just tell Krile I had been reading the whole night. She won’t be surprised.“ – „Oh, you wanna read my new book with me later?! I just got it, it’s great, it’s about a beanstalk and… why are you laughing?!“ He was indeed laughing. Not out loud but the way you laugh when you don’t want to be mean. Rajian was sure, he was just too polite to laugh louder. She tried to fight the smile that crawled onto her face. Of course she lost the fight. In the end she could not help but chuckle herself even if she still didn’t know why he had started to laugh in the first place.

„Come here“ G’raha said „Food is ready. I got lucky at the market today. There was a sale for fresh fish!“ – „Is this… salmon?! My favorite!!“ Rajian was overjoyed. Just the thought of fresh salmon, grilled over the fire with just a hint of lemon… her mouth began watering while she sat down. With a „There you go“ he placed a full plate in front of her. She could barely wait until he had sat down as well (which Susumi had told her, was important) before digging in.

„By the way“ Rajian started once they had finished the most delicious meal ever known to catkind „how did you know I would not have time to cook today?“ – „Well…“ G’raha fidgeted with his hands. „Let’s just say… I… kind of went here because you told me you had a new book but you were not here so I called Koizumi Orphanage. They were the ones who told me you were still working and because I kind of know you…“ Rajian was perplexed. „Wait, so you DO wanna know about my new book!“ She said with a bright smile. „Come on“ she took his hand „we can do the dishes later!!“ and guided him to the basement into her library.

She told him all about the first chapter of the book which she had read already but in the end they read it all over again just in case she had forgotten anything… as if she would. They took turns reading to each other and finished the book that night. Only to start another one.

In the end the dishes had to wait until morning came as Rajian and G‘raha had been talking and reading the whole night through. The night ended with her head landing on his shoulder as she fell asleep while being in the middle of the conversation. He was puzzled at first but happily accepted his fate. As Rajian woke up in the morning she was still resting with her head on his shoulder, his head now lying on hers. What a wonderful evening this had been. G’raha sure knew how to calm her down.

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

Barrytown: We talked to our son “for over 12 hours and he was shaking and vomiting”

Voices of parents of children lost to the moonies 7

March 22, 1976

To whom it may concern:

Our son joined Moon’s group in late 1971 and was coaxed to join by a room-mate. Our son was taking graduate courses. He was a Phi Beta Kappa graduate of a U.S. University in the mid-west. He was definitely idealistic, because he quit his job in his hometown because he felt the institution he worked for charged exorbitant interest rates to under-developed countries.

Mike (this is not his name) has never been home since he joined the group, because we told him we felt he was wasting his life working for Moon. We believe he has been in practically every state in the union, even Alaska, but not Hawaii. We had cards from many places. However, we did visit him twice. We noted the houses were clean where he lived. But I thought the food was not adequate. Both places had an open jar of peanut butter sitting on a table and a loaf of bread. Coffee and tea seemed to be available, but we saw no fresh fruit nor vegetables.

Mail from Mike has been infrequent and short, usually cards. However the very first letter was frightening—rambling and 10 or 12 pages long, trying to tell us why he joined this movement. He talked about the drug problem, the race problem, poverty in the world, etc. And he implied that those who joined this group had all the answers. He never mentioned the name Unification Church nor Moon for over a year after he was in the group.

We seemed to get no Christmas or Easter greetings. One Christmas we got a Christmas greeting with a snow scene. Our family always sent religious cards at Christmas. But Christmas 1974 we got no word at all. Then in February we got word Mike was married by Moon in a mass wedding in Korea. He was married to a German girl we had never heard of.

He said he worked with her in the group for a year, but our daughter, a nurse went to hear one of Moon’s talks the November before and met all the young people with him and this girl was not one of them. So we feel Mike lies to protect Moon. Later (in March) we received a letter from “our daughter-in-law”. She said, “I know you must wonder about your son who went out into the world and married someone you never met before”. But she gave no explanation of this.

Then later we received a letter from our son’s father-in-law from Germany. He and his wife are very good Christian people and they went to the trouble to find a student to write to us in English. They wanted to know about the family now related to their daughter. We immediately told them we did not approve of the Moon Movement and they too said it has been the heartbreak of their lives. She, the daughter-in-law, was still being held in Germany after being flown from Japan in December. They are having visa problems we hear.

Our son was taken back to the States in early November 1995 to Barrytown, N.Y. The father-in-law of our son told us about this and we called for several days before he finally called us back. Then we took a chance on going up to see him, my other son, an ex-Moonie and I, Mike’s mother. The ex-Moonie told him the movement was a big rip-off. We talked to him for over 12 hours and he was shaking and vomiting. It was terrible to see him so programmed that if he broke in the middle of an explanation, he would have to start all over again just like a record. He told us he just read that Franco of Spain died that morning, after we told him he does not read nor listen to TV or radio. Franco, in fact, did not die for several days. Anyway, I stepped into the bathroom for a minute and he fled, because his brother fell asleep. He left his coat and ran out into the rain. We looked for him for a while and then called the ex-Moonie’s mother and she told us to get out of New York quick or we would be arrested. We left and I was so shaken from this experience, I spent 10 days in a mental hospital for my nerves. After witnessing the fear and vomiting, I was relieved to see him go. But later I still cry for what has happened to my intelligent son.

I want to add here too that my son gave Moon $1,400 he had in a local bank. And when he married he defaulted on a state school educational loan. I received a letter about this in January 1975 and I gave the state all the recent addresses I had for my son. My son told me when we saw him November 1975 that he thought Moon paid off his loan. We heard also from a reliable source that Moon charged each person he married $400. Moon now is sending out booklets “Way of World” to presently active Moonie’s parents to make us more understanding. The NERVE he has—we now NEVER get a letter from our son at all. I cannot understand why the U.S. government lets this terrible thing happen to us, the tax paying citizens, and this foreigner with a permanent visa makes fools of us. Someone must be getting paid off. The First Amendment we need, but our judges and law makers administer the law.

Name withheld

_____________________________________

A visit to Ann at Barrytown (1975)

At Barrytown all members must continually strive to lose their identity and become one with Moon’s will (1976)

Ken Sudo and the secret Barrytown 120-day training manual and Unification Church telephone fraud

Physically restrained against his will at Barrytown

Voices of parents of children lost to the moonies 2 Moon’s mass marriages are “a form of sex perversion”

Voices of parents of children lost to the moonies 3 Our son “seemed to be in a bizarre world of science fiction”

Voices of parents of children lost to the moonies 4 “only if she got rid of the baby and gave it up for adoption”

Voices of parents of children lost to the moonies 5 Moon is a man devoid of of human compassion

Voices of parents of children lost to the moonies 6 “One of your ancestors was a peeping Tom.”

Voices of parents of children lost to the moonies 8 Many parents suffered heartbreak after losing their children to the Moonies

[moonlit-imagines]

Just a Name

Bruce Wayne x reader

warnings: the batman spoilers, injury, blood, drugs, needles, death, i think that’s it

a/n: changed the plot just a bit to make more sense. matt reeves let me write the next batman movie. also to anon: 💖💖💖

prompt: anonymous: “so the reader and batman have been working together for a while but reader doesn't know his identity (for now) and batman is badly injured so they try to drive him to the hospital because there's no way they're letting him die but he refuses to go there and ask that they take him to the wayne tower instead bc there at least he can keep his identity a secret so the reader drives there and goes with him in the elevator and leaves him with alfred and they put the pieces together concerning his identity, and maybe they get to see him without his mask when he's better?”

Help was scarce in Gotham. At least, the help that made a difference. Two vigilantes among Gotham found themselves needing each other’s help every once in a while, you and the Batman found you worked well together when the situation called for it.

And tonight it did. You found yourselves at the same crime scene with a swarm of cops buzzing about the place, but the two of you walked together finding whatever forensic evidence might help you with the case. “Batman,” you drew his attention near window, a fresh etching in the wooden windowsill that seemed to be a calling card of sorts, “does this mean anything to you?” You stared at five lines and the shavings that were left behind.

“Tally marks.” He said, taking a closer look. There were four vertically, one diagonally. Same number of victims found in the house.

“Another serial killer on our hands?” You asked, waving Detective Gordon over for a closer look at the discovery.

“It looks that way.” He backed up with you and made another round on the scene. “You’re helping?”

“Was that a question or a command?” You checked the time on the clock nearby, staring at it a few seconds too long. Last serial killer this city had brought it to ruins, worst week of your life. You made a wish at 11:11pm, please don’t cause another catastrophe. “I’m in. Let’s get this over as soon as possible, agreed.” He grunted and led the way out of the house, which you were surprised at. “Hey, are you just done looking around in there?”

“I have a lead.” Batman kept walking away from you and opened the passenger door of the Batmobile, abandoning it for his side. You paused your steps and stared at him, who caught your protest just before crawling into the driver’s seat. “Are you coming?”

“I show you my clues, why can’t you show me yours?” You scoffed and settled for the ride in the Batmobile, at least he trusted you enough for that. “You don’t trust me very much, do you?”

“No. Why?” He bluntly answered, pressing harder on the gas pedal.

“We’ve just worked together for a while and I don’t know who you are.” Silence filled the car for a few moments, you hated when he declined to respond. Make things awkward. “Did you fall asleep?”

“You haven’t told me who you are.” He retorted, making you roll your eyes.

“I’ve shown you my face.” You said.

“I didn’t ask you to do that.” He stomped on the brakes and parked his peculiar car on the dark street. “We’re here.”

“Where exactly is ‘here?’” You took a careful look of your surroundings, but it was just like any other street in Gotham. Dirty, bleak, and miserable. “Can you fill me in on your lead yet? I thought you knew working together meant sharing your knowledge.”

“Stay here.” He stepped out and locked you inside before you even got the chance to try and follow him. You knocked on your window a few times and watched Batman disappear into the building.

“God, he sucks.” You muttered to yourself and fell back into your seat. “I could have done this on my own. Maybe next time.” It took about twenty minutes for Batman to come back to the car, and you had much to say to him. “You really need to work on your people skills. Sorry I’m not Gordon, but I’m still a parter. Mind telling me what that was all about?”

“I’ve seen markings like those at other crime scenes, but never more than four.” Batman explained as he pulled back onto the road.

“And you’ve been keeping track of them because..?” You peered over and noticed his jaw clench and put the pieces together. “Because you thought they were scratch marks from your cat friend.” He huffed in response, confirming your suspicions as you smiled to yourself and quietly awaited a destination. Which happened to be a street corner near your hideout.

“Get out.” He instructed, catching your glare. “Now.”

“I was joking about the cat girl, by the way.” You pushed the door open with your foot and left, hearing him peel out seemingly before your feet reached the ground. “Sensitive much?” You muttered, stomping into the alley among the trash and rats and heading back to base. It was frustrating how uncooperative he could be, but you had work to do, work of your own. Hopefully this serial killer wouldn’t be as much as a hassle as the last one.

—————

It took two more days to hear anything back from him. And when you did, you actually got scared. He’d given you a beeper for emergencies and neither of you had used it until now. The location pinged to your computer and you rushed out the door, thinking over all the possibilities for the call. Was he in too deep? Batman, really?

The ride on your motorcycle was swift, but the GPS marker had moved since you left. Batman was escaping from whatever danger he was in. Or leading you to something you didn’t want any part in. Once you were close enough, you slowed down to try and spot the man dressed like a bat, and sure enough, he was hiding in an alley. Leaned against a dumpster, the most comically feared man-thing was panting, clutching his stomach, and fading in and out. You rushed to his aid, tapping his cheek to get him to focus. “Batman, it’s me. Hey, wake up. What the hell happened?” You asked and his eyes rolled back slightly. “Batman!” You shook him by the shoulders.

“Drugged…” He mumbled, barely audible.

“Shit…I gotta get you to a hospital.” You attempted to lift him, but he protested your words strongly when you tried.

“No! No…hospitals. Take me…my base.” He instructed and you shook your head.

“I don’t know where that is, Bat.” You reasoned with him as he faded in and out, breathing harder from the affects of whatever he’d been given. You noticed blood on his face, a few cuts. He’d been through the wringer, but mustered up the energy to move and fish into his belt pocket for a set of keys.

“Location is marked. Here.” He handed you the keys to that beast of a car and you’d be lying if you said that didn’t excite you, but this city couldn’t lose the Batman tonight, they’d be doomed without him. So you lifted his arm over your shoulder and hoisted him up, letting him direct you to his parking spot. You threw him in the passenger seat and sped out of there as fast as you could, setting his GPS for base.

“Hang in there, Batman. I’ll get you where you need to go.” You assured him and watched him reach for a button near the screen. An alert for whoever was waiting for him. A few sharp turns later, you were pulling into a hidden entrance, an abandoned train line with the name “Wayne” marked all over it. This place hadn’t been used in years, it was a clever hideout, didn’t look half bad either. You stopped the car and hopped out, dragging Batman out and being met by a nicely dressed Englishman who pulled him onto a gurney.

“He say what happened to ‘im?” The man asked and you nodded.

“He said he was drugged.” You told him as the masked man groaned loud, nearly screaming in pain. “Are you a doctor?”

“I’m whatever he needs me to be.” He rushed around the area, getting medical supplies in order to treat him, but he’d need to get the suit off of him first. “I think it’d be best if you left. Thank you for all you’ve done.” You shook your head in response, already putting everything together.

“Not going to happen. I’m sorry, but I’d like to help.” You protested and the man grew more upset.

“I’m afraid you can’t, you’d best be on your way.” He was losing precious time, it seemed, but this was dire.

“It’s because of his mask, isn’t it?” You asked, motioning to the room right after. “Do you take me for an idiot? I’ll save you the trouble, that’s Bruce Wayne. The same Bruce Wayne whose family owned this structure, who has the money for all these gadgets and machines, who has a butler for christ’s sake!” Your shouts echoed throughout the underground. “Trust me, pull off the mask.” You took off your facial coverings and decided to level the uneasy ground. “My name is y/n l/n. Any more problems?”

“Alfred Pennyworth.” He introduced himself. “Now that we’re acquainted, would you like to help me get this crap offa ‘im?” Alfred began trying to loosen the armor, and once he saw what he was working with, he was a bit shaken. “Oh, dear.” He gasped at Bruce’s pale, sweaty skin and the dark lines in his veins. “Mx. l/n, please grab me some ice from the cooler over there.” You were asked as he felt Bruce’s burning forehead, his breathing now much more shallow.

“On it.” You ran to where he pointed and found ice packs within, grabbing three and running back.

“Much appreciated.” He grabbed them and set one on Bruce’s forehead, and one under each of his arms. “That should cool him down.” He sighed, still very much on edge. “You know how to draw blood?”

“No…” You replied.

“Well, you’re about to find out.” He pulled out the kit and set in on a sterile cart, starting to explain himself. “We can test his blood right here and now to see what that bastard hit him with, that way we’ll know how to treat him. You just watch me, it’s a good skill to have.”

“Okay,” you nodded, watching as he turned Bruce’s arm over, tied a band on his upper arm, and cleaned a select spot, “hope you aren’t squeamish.” The sterile needle was taken from the packaging and stuck into his arm. “See the angle I did that at? Got to get the right vein.” You watched the reddish-black liquid run down the tube into a vial, it took a few moments, but once that one was full, Alfred passed it on to you. “There’s a machine beside that computer with a port for this little guy, set it in there and press the button, it’ll start the process.” You understood that much and did as your were told.

“How’s he doing temperature-wise?” You asked while doing your task.

“A bit better, not much.” He felt Bruce’s still warm cheeks and shook his head. “You know anything else about what happened tonight?”

“Can’t say that I do.” You stared at the loading screen as it analyzed the blood sample, but when you turned around, you saw the butler pull one of Bruce’s eyes open and reach for his eye. “Woah! What are you doing?!”

“Don’t be worried, my friend. He’s got a contact lens, records everything he sees. This should help us a bit.” The little lens was pinched between his two fingers and brought over to you, you watched as he set it on a separate machine and another monitor came to life. “Say about…an hour and a half ago?” He scanned back and started the recording, which was right where the struggle for Bruce was. One man, just the one was attacking him, which surprised you greatly. Not many could get the jump on Batman, but this guy, he looked crazy.

“My god, are those…those are scars, aren’t they?” You squinted at the unhinged man. The video paused and you zoomed into the man’s bare chest with the same markings from the windowsill a few days ago. “That’s the serial killer he was tracking, it has to be. But…that’s so weird. He’s definitely giving himself those scars.”

“You’re surprised by this? How long have you been in this line of work?” Alfred asked you.

“Yeah, yeah, I guess it isn’t that crazy for Gotham. Still…it’s unsettling.” You stared at the screen, looking at the man’s terrifying expression before the blood machine processed the sample, beeping a reply.

“Oh, great.” Alfred said to the computer and popped an empty vial next to the blood, then hooked it up to yet another machine. “This is the neat part. It’s making an antidote. Just gotta see what it needs…” He read off the ingredients from the screen and connected a few corresponding jugs to start the process. “Should only take a few more minutes.”

“You seem less on edge now.” You told him.

“Yes, well, things are starting to fall into place. Thank you for your help.” He tiredly smiled and went to the freezer for new icepacks. “Do you have somewhere to be?”

“Not at the moment, no. I can stay until he’s awake…if that’s alright with you.” You stood up from the seat you’d taken and walked near Bruce again, checking his light pulse.

“Stay as long as you’d like, won’t hurt me. Plus, I could use the company. Don’t get much of it.” Alfred tended to Bruce and as a few minutes passed, the machine pinged. “Ah, here we are.” He swiped the vial and added it to a syringe. “He might toss around a bit, it shouldn’t be an issue. Just step back.” Alfred injected the antidote and waited a few seconds, then Bruce jolted his body and let out a long scream, making you cringe at his pain. He’d been through enough for one night. After a few seconds passed, his body had relaxed and you felt at ease, too. “Well, now we just let him rest, he’ll be up soon. I’ll go make us some tea.” Alfred left the room and you found yourself alone in the Batman’s “man-cave.” It was a neat setup, much better than your basement apartment at a dead-end alley. You could never afford all this equipment. Or a butler. Man, a butler would be cool, though. Especially this guy.

A while later, Bruce came back to reality, turning his head sideways and seeing you. “You’re alive.” You smiled and walked over to him, who suddenly became aware that his face was showing.

“You know who I am.” He was disappointed, it sounded like it.

“It wasn’t hard to figure out after I got here. Nice setup.” You complimented, but he wasn’t very happy at the moment. “I’m y/n l/n. You’re Bruce Wayne. Now we both know who the other is.”

“That’s just a name…Where’s Alfred?” He asked, struggling to get himself up.

“Went upstairs for a refill on tea.” You answered him. “Hey, no ‘thank you’ or anything? I kind of saved your life.” Bruce walked past you and to the computer, limping on the way over. He was only concerned with what happened before he blacked out, concerned with the madman on the loose. “Is that really important right now? You almost died, you need to get some rest.”

“Thank you for your help. You can leave now.”

taglist: @ravenmoore14 // @summersimmerus // @xoxobabydolls // @evilcr0ne // @wild-rose-35 // @alwaysananglophile // @ruvaakke // @more-multifandom-of-madness // @girlmythlegend // @mowisdvdspecial // @diansaprince // @v0idl1nq // @theseawakes // @sydknee624 // @thedarkqueenofavalon //

[books-and-catears]

Hi! I was wondering if you could write some headcanons on how the brothers would react to the alternate timeline MC (the one killed by belphie, rip) haunting the house of lamentation? I just think some angst would be neato. Keep up the good work! I love your writing <3

Oh how much I love this concept. With all the ghost MCs I've been writing this fits in perfectly. How I love writing angst hehehe thank you for this wonderful ask

Thank you so much for your kindness. I hope I can do this justice :')

It has been months since you've been gone. Your body buried in the human world, and yet your soul still felt like it was lingering.

They could see you - a glimpse here, a whisper there and your presence everywhere. Almost as if you just walked past them into your room, and lay curled up in bed with Satan's new books or Levi's new manga. Only you weren't.

The bumps in your bed were just pillows and blankets. The extra chair stood out like a sore thumb. They would so often call you and then feel stupid for expecting a response. Except you had started answering back now.

Lucifer could often hear paper rustling in his sleep. And when he woke up he found the paper work was done more than he remembered doing.

He found his favourite tea brewing whenever he was too tired. And it tasted exactly how you used to make it.

At first he thought it was some sort of sickening joke from his brothers so he threatened to punish them if they didn't come clean. But it was none of them.

Then...MC? Did you come back somehow?

He went into a secret frenzy, looking for you everywhere. Sometimes when the house was empty, he screamed out your name, he could hear your voice softly calling back from your room.

Soon those soft vague sounds became his only comfort - he became super strict about silence in the house. He refused to have any other tea than the one he found magically brewing. He'd always kiss the cups before drinking from them, and his eyes would sting with unshed tears.

___________________________________________

Mammon might be scared of ghosts. But not you. Never you. Especially when he could feel your weight in his arms whenever he missed you too much.

Maybe the sensation was more vivid, since he was the last one to hold you alive. He could also see you. A faint shadow that walked beside and waved to him whenever he was in your room.

And though the shadow had no face, he could tell it was smiling. He felt calm around it. Like you never left. He denied your death the most and now there was reason to.

He barely left the house and most of the time he just stayed in your room. That's where he had most memories with you. Sometimes he found coins and Grimm strewn around your bed, as if you'd left it there for him. He took them and stored them away, never to spend them.

He was overjoyed when he saw your shadow in his room. He started talking to it like it was you, pressing his lips against the walls where you appeared and watching your shadow reaching up to touch his shadow, holding it tight. In those moments he swore he could feel your arms around him again. And on those nights, his pillows would be drenched with his agony.

___________________________________________

Leviathan first noticed it when he saw that Player 2 was always logged in, in all of his games. Even the ones that came months after you were longer there.

And while player two didn't actively play, he found boost items in his game inventory that he didn't achieve himself. You used to hunt down boost items to help with his battles and he protected you during the fights.

He starts getting even more into gaming, to the point where he forgets to go out for meals. Mammon and Satan have to drag him out to eat. He often just sits there talking to himself as if you're still there.

Then one day, in the group texts of the game, he sees you text. Player 2: 'Go get him Levi! I got your back; we have a lot of ammo!" He forgot the game altogether desperately typing back a message.

You don't text as often as he would like, but he's always waiting for whatever you say. It's easily the best part of his day. If he fell asleep in front of the screen, he would wake up covered with a blanket and good morning message on screen. His brothers claim to never have gone inside so he knows it's you. He cries into the blanket you covered him with cause he misses you.

___________________________________________

Satan came to feel your presence in the strangest way. There was a particular cat that you were attached to. That cat started finding ways to sneak inside the house, in the library or Satan's room, holding small books in its mouth.

When Satan opened them up, he found petals of your favourite flowers tucked away in some particular pages. It resembled the way you marked your favorite chapters using colored bits of paper or bookmarks.

He figured out a way to talk to you. He made something that resembled an Ouija board and left a little cat shaped button on it. He tried it out in your room, and it worked. You were talking back. Not whole sentences but broken phrases and words. So he used yes and no questions from then onwards.

He often found new books in his room, a hint that you wanted him to read them. While reading, he could swear he felt your head rest on his shoulder as if trying to read with him. He also left books in your room to read. Though he missed your touch and your voice, the fact that you still talk to him gave him so much joy. He often kisses the books he gives you, hoping they reach your fingers and litters the pages with tear stains in hopes you'd see them and come back.

___________________________________________

Asmodeus screamed the first time he saw you behind him in the mirror. You were transculent, barely visible. But it was you and your distinct smile and wave of the hand, leaning against his bathroom wall, long streaks of dried blood near your neck. He could even smell you - your scent like flowers, firewood and old books.

He tries to talk to you, even tries to hold you but you're just an image. A reflection that reflects nothing but empty space. You don't seem to talk but you nod or shake your head in reply. He presses himself into the mirror as if trying to hug you tight.

But lately he hears whispers, very faint and barely there but he hears them. Always calling him somewhere where there is a mirror. Cause that's the only place he can see you. If you thought he was obsessed with mirrors then, you should see him now.

He almost covered his whole room up with mirrors so he could see you from all angles, making you feel as alive as he possibly could. He screams your name into his pillows. Maybe you would respond if he was louder?

___________________________________________

Beelzebub often passed by you room, all covered now, just like Lilith's. The door was always kept open but he didn't dare enter. But one day, a strong gust of wind blew it wide open as if urging him to enter. So he did.

On the bed he found some fresh treats placed right in the middle of your bed. It was the treats he loved to eat together with you. How did they even get here?

He sat on the bed and absent mindedly started eating. When he ate, he could hear your laughter and you talking - a surge of memories flooding his senses. And when he was done, he could swear he felt your fingers wiping his mouth.

Eversince then he refused to eat anywhere except your room and his brothers had to drag him to the table during breakfast and dinner. But whenever a new bakery or restaurant opened, he would bring all the food back only to eat it in your room. And he would smile, listening to saying how delicious the food is. He would often clutch at his chest and cry, missing the way you used to hold him whenever he was sad. Won't you come hold him now, MC?

___________________________________________

Belphegor couldn't feel a thing. The only way he knew you were still here was when he brothers acted strangely. He'd ask them of course, but they'd never reply to him. He was the reason MC was gone. Why would MC show themself to him?

So he observed his brothers, always cautious for every little thing that was out of place. He'd caught all his brothers crying at some point or the other. Especially in your room. So he'd curl up in your room to spend the night in there hoping to feel you like his brothers. Only he never did, and Mammon and Satan would scream and drag him out the next morning.

None of the brothers would let him inside of their own rooms either. They couldn't save you when it mattered. So now it was their way of protecting whatever essence was left of you.

Feeling dejected and guilty he went and locked himself inside his old attic. He rested his against the bars that locked him in. Isn't this where he first met you, MC? Sigh. You'd been nothing but kind to him so why did he-

"Belphie.." Then he heard it. For the first time in forever, he heard your voice again. Soft and kind - just like before. He looked up and through the bars, he saw the most familiar sight. You smiling at him through the bars, your fingers wrapped around yours. And just like that he broke down. He started howling in pain, as he tried to reach you, but his fingers slipped right through you. "I'm sorry I'm sorry come back please come back!" He cried as you disappeared into thin air again.

My Masterlist .

[watchmegetobsessed]

SLEEPLESS

a/n: omg! it's been so long since i last wrote something for harry so it feels a bit weird but in a good way to be back. i've been spending more time offline so writing hasn't been going that fast like before, but im working on a few other stuff too! just please be patient with me, im trying my besti swear! so now enjoy this oneshot of two oblivious and stupid roommates who start sharing a bed...

pairing: Roommate!Harry x reader

word count: 8.1k

masterlist

Living with three boys has its perks but also a lot of downsides too. It’s not how you planned, you were set to move in with one of your friends from second year, but she bailed on you last minute, leaving you with no place to live when most of the houses were already taken for the next at least one year. You were bracing yourself to sleep under a bridge or something already when your heroes came along.

You went to high school with Harry Niall and Louis, but you weren’t exactly in the same friend group, just knew about each other. Then you ended up in the same Lit class freshman year with Harry and he was basically your pass into their little group. You hit it off pretty easily and you always wondered why you didn’t become friends before college. Later you had two more classes with him in the second semester and it was just all a coincidence that he found out about your living situation.

“Why don’t you move in with us?” he prompted one afternoon when you were studying together in the library.

“I’m not sharing a room with any of you, Harry,” you sighed, shaking your head.

“You wouldn’t have to. We had a fourth mate living with us but he dropped out about a month ago. You could take his bedroom.”

“Are for real? You should talk about it with the boys first, don’t you think?”

“I’m sure they wouldn’t mind it. They like you too and if I’m being honest, the place could use the touch of a woman,” he smirked and you just rolled your eyes, but you were incredibly thankful for the offer.

So after talking with Niall and Louis about it and once they gave their amens on the situation, you officially moved in with the three of them.

You’d be lying if you said there hasn’t been times when you thought about choosing the bridge, living with boys is not exactly a dream. They are messy, sometimes loud and oblivious about certain things women do and need. You’ll never forget Niall’s face when you packed the shelf above the toilet with your tampons and pads. The horror in his eyes as he examined all the different sizes and types.

“But why so many? I don’t get it why you need the large ones and the mini ones too,” he huffed.

“Because I vary them according to the strength of my flow.”

“Bless you,” he scoffed and just walked away.

They tend to leave their clothes around the house and they don’t always realize when it’s time to let some fresh air into the place either. Harry has a sixth sense wanting to use the bathroom when you’re in and Louis always forgets to get rid of his spoiled food from the fridge. Tini things that surely got you thinking if it was a good idea to move in with them. But then there are times when you can’t even imagine sharing a home with anyone else than these three idiots.

The way Harry always leaves you a cup of coffee on the counter when he has an early class on mondays and wednesdays, how Niall always waits for you to get home after your night shifts at the restaurant you’ve been working at, but he always just says he was watching Supernatural on TV. You love that Louis goes out of his way to get you your favorite pastry for breakfast on sundays when he goes for his morning runs. But the absolute best is that you never feel alone or bored with these three around. Something is always happening and they make sure to involve you in everything, making you feel like part of their little pack.

Tonight is Thursday and Thursdays are movie nights in your home. It’s been a tradition since the first week and you haven’t missed any of them. Sitting on the couch at your usual spot, you laugh as Niall growls in annoyance when you suggest to watch another rom-com.

“Not again!” he protests, sitting on the floor by the coffee table you and Harry thrifted a few months ago after the previous one was broken at a smaller party held in the house.

“Why? I bet Harry would love it!” you grin, glancing at the guy in talk who is now entering the room with a big bowl of popcorn.

“Of course he would, because he is a pussy! And the two of you always team up, dragging Louis with you so I can never watch something I enjoy!” Niall whines as Harry sits next to you, not too bothered by his friend’s cries.

“Come on, I bet you enjoyed Crazy, Stupid Love last week!” you laugh, remembering how he whined for the first part, then fell asleep at the end.

“Love, if you think that was enjoyment, I wouldn’t want to be your boyfriend,” Niall scoffs and you gasp at his reply.

“Hey!” you snap at him, but can’t help laughing. This is how it always goes with you and Niall, the non-stop bickering can sometimes drive Harry and Lou insane.

“Okay, so what do you want to watch?” Harry asks, throwing some popcorn into his mouth as he gets comfortable, an arm resting on the back of the couch behind you, the other one busy with the snack in his lap.

“There is this new horror I’ve been dying to see!” Niall’s blue eyes light up right away, but you’re fast to break that shine.

“Nah, no way. I’m not watching a horror movie.”

“Why not?”

“Because I fucking hate them and they scare the shit out of me.”

“That’s like the whole point!” he protests, but you shake your head no again.

“What are you fighting about again?” Louis asks, walking into the room after his quick shower, the smell of his body wash filling the room for a few moments.

“I want to watch a horror movie, but Y/N is a little baby and she doesn’t want to.”

“I’m not a baby! I just don’t enjoy watching people get killed or demons sucking the life out of someone!” Niall just rolls his eyes at your response.

“But it’s always what you or Harry wants to watch, why can’t I choose just this once?”

“That’s not true, we watch movies you like too!” you retort, but Niall gives you an unimpressed look. “We watched that crime thing, that was your choice!”

“That was three months ago, Y/N,” he sighs and as you do some quick math you realize that he is right.

“Hey, he has a point. Let’s just watch what he wants this one time, yeah?” Harry curls his arm that’s been on the back of the couch around your shoulder and he pulls you to his side, squeezing you gently.

“But I hate horrors,” you pout, knowing well that it’s already kind of settled, you lost this battle.

“It’s just a movie. And if you get scared in the night, you can sleep at mine,” he offers with a wink that surely makes your heartbeat fasten a bit.

If you’re being honest, you’ve always had a tiny crush on Harry, even back in high school, when you didn’t really know him. He was the cool guy, but not the douchebag type, more like the one that was nice to everyone and earned their respect and liking. Getting to know him just proved that he really is a great guy, but you figured he would never feel the same way about you. These three guys only saw you as their sister and that was in a way kinda worse than being friend zoned, but there’s nothing you can do about it, so you just decided to come to peace with your situation. But that doesn’t mean you don’t get flustered when you see him wander around the house in just his boxers or when he gets a little touchy with you, which happens a lot, because that’s just how he is. Hands on your shoulders, a little squeeze on your hips, the gentle touch of his fingers on your back, they happen all the time and they get your pulse up every time. You can only hope it’s not that noticeable.

Niall finally gets what he wants and you agree to watch that stupid horror movie. It doesn’t start off too bad, but it quickly escalates and makes you shudder every time the screen gets a little darker or the music is foreshadowing that something is about to happen.

“Jesus fuck!” you jump a little when the killer appears out of nowhere in the scene.

“You alright?” Harry asks, peeking down at you.

“I fucking hate this dude,” you mumble, rubbing your face with your hands, to get your shit together. Harry chuckles lightly next to you, his arm pulling you to his side close and you gladly sink against him, the warmth of his body giving you some comfort and a sense of safety.

Your eyes are on the screen, but your mind is dancing around how his fingers are delicately running up and down your arm, drawing circles and little shapes on your skin. It could put you to sleep easily, even with the woman screaming on the screen after seeing her husband get killed.

“Just imagine the guy with a funny mustache,” Harry murmurs, leaning closer to you so he doesn’t bother the other two guys with his comment. “Or maybe in a ridiculous outfit.”

“Like… in a onsie?” you ask, squinting your eyes at the screen.

“Could be, yeah,” he chuckles quietly. “Just imagine him running through the woods in a onsie with bunnies all over it.”

You can’t push your laughter down, covering your mouth with your hand so you don’t bother the others. Harry just smirks, giving you a squeeze as you’re still melted against his side on the couch, legs pulled up to your chest, while his are spread out in front of him.

“Definitely not that scary,” you giggle and Harry hums in agreement.

“Would you mind getting a fucking room, you guys? You have two, in fact!” Niall snaps at you playfully, when you start laughing again.

“Sorry, sorry!” you clear your throat, your cheeks heating up at the comment, but luckily it’s dark enough to hide your embarrassment. Niall is always quick to make dirty jokes and tease you in a way that makes you nervous, especially when it involves Harry as well. He has made plenty of comments about you and Harry since you’ve moved in, implying that the two of you sometimes act like a couple or that you should hook up. Harry is always quick to shake them off, that’s how you know he couldn’t even take the thought seriously.

At the end of the movie you feel like it wasn’t bad, not with Harry holding you close at least.

“Will you be screaming tonight, Y/N?” Niall teases you, making you roll your eyes at him.

“Either way it’s gonna be your fault.”

“I can live with that!” he laughs, bidding his goodbye before he shuts the door of his bedroom behind him.

You do your usual evening routine, get ready to bed and by the time you’re done in the bathroom all the boys have retired into their rooms. The hallway stands dark in front of you, only a tiny bit of light coming from your bedroom since you left your bedside lamp on in there, but you still can’t help the eerie feeling that washes over you. That movie didn’t sit right with you and now you have to face the aftermath of it.

Switching the lights in the bathroom off you sprint into your bedroom, pictures from the movie flashing in your mind of the killer just jumping out of nowhere. You shut the door and lean your back against it for a moment, taking a deep breath. Tonight is going to be long.

No matter how hard you try, you just can’t fall asleep. You’re way too alerted, opening your eyes at the tiniest of sounds around you, which is unfortunate, because your window is looking over the main street, unlike two other rooms in the house, that are facing the small backyard. Harry and Louis have the luck to have those rooms.

Every time you’re about to fall asleep something from the movie sneaks into your thoughts and you get scared to death. Soon, you realize you won’t be able to sleep on your own tonight.

Sitting on the edge of your bed, you wonder if Harry really meant that offer that you can sleep with him or not. Part of you is convinced it was just a joke, but when you hear someone shouting down the street you push your doubts aside and you quickly find yourself making your way to Harry’s room.

You knock on the room lightly, not wanting to wake anyone else up. The last thing you need is Niall seeing you go into Harry’s room in the middle of the night.

No answer comes from inside, but you won’t just leave it at that. Opening the door you’re facing another dark room, barely making out the furniture, but you already know the route by heart. Making it to the bed your eyes finally adjust to the darkness and you can see Harry lying on his side, sleeping peacefully. Squatting down you place a hand to his shoulder and give him a tiny shake.

“Harry?” you call out quietly, but his answer is just a huff. “Harry, it’s me,” you try again, squeezing his arm. He furrows his eyebrows before slowly blinking his eyes open, finding you in his sight.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” he asks in that groggy, low voice you love hearing in the morning so much.

“I can’t… Did you mean that I can sleep here if I’m scared?” you ask, afraid that he might just have a good laugh and send you back to your room. For a long moment, he just blinks at you before nodding his head and you feel relief washing over you.

“Sure,” he hums.

“O-okay then I’ll bring a blanket and take the floor and--”

“Shut up, you are not sleeping on the floor,” he growls, grabbing your wrist and pulling you into bed with him as he scoots over, making you space on the mattress.

It’s a bit weird at first, lying in bed with Harry, especially because it’s just queen sized, so there’s not much space between the two of you, but it seems like Harry doesn’t mind it so why should you?

Your nerves are a lot calmer with Harry next to you, but maybe it’s still because of the movie or because you’re a bit anxious about the whole situation, you just still can’t relax enough to fall asleep.

“Y/N, no one is gonna kill you here,” Harry speaks up surprising you because you thought he has already fallen back asleep.

“I know, I know,” you whisper, trying to sound convincing, but you can’t fool anyone, especially not him.

He huffs deeply and before you could realize what’s happening, Harry’s arm is curled around your waist, pulling you against him, spooning you from behind, the warmth of his body wrapping your figure almost entirely.

“If a murderer comes, they will have to fight me first, alright? Now sleep,” he mumbles against your hair, squeezing you gently. All at once, you couldn’t care about killers and dark shadows around you, because Harry was right there, holding you tight and there was nowhere you wanted to be more than right there.

You slept like a baby. Harry’s closeness kept every nightmare away from you and the morning came with ease. Harry’s phone wakes the two of you up at eight, because he has a morning class at 9.30. The two of you are completely tangled up in each other, lying on your side facing each other, Harry’s arms are wrapped around you, while yours are hugging his waist. Groaning at the sound of his alarm, he rolls to his back to reach for the phone on the nightstand and then he finally turns it off. It’s bright outside, the darkness of the night finally long gone. You’re still groggy when Harry rolls back, his arm coming back around you like it’s the most natural thing in the world and in a sense, it feels like that. But as you both slowly wake up, you realize that you might be a little too close. Slowly but surely you let go of each other, rolling to your back, staring up at the ceiling.

“Hope I didn’t kick you in my sleep,” you smile at him, peeking over at him, hoping to break the awkwardness of the situation.

“No, don’t worry about it,” he chuckles, rubbing his eyes, before pushing himself up and off the bed. You follow him with your gaze as he steps to his dresser and grabs a pair of clean underwear. “I’ll put on a coffee while I shower, want one too?” he asks, though you know he could make one for you anyway.

“Sure, thank you,” you nod and he nods back, yawning as he walks out of the room, leaving you lying in his bed, a bit confused and kind of aching to be held by him again.

Two days pass by, everything is going as per usual, neither you nor Harry brings up that you spent the night in his bed that one particular time. Now it’s saturday and you all were planning to go out, but a sudden storm has cancelled your plans, so the evening turned into a cozy, lazy hangout instead of a wild party at some frat house.

Louis decided to work on a paper that’s due in two weeks, Niall has been relentlessly swiping on Tinder while you and Harry are spawled out on the couch, watching some shitty action movie that was on TV, since you both were too lazy to choose one and put it on. Deep down you’re a little happy you don’t have to spend the evening in a crowded, smelly house, drinking cheap alcohol.

Harry gets up from his seat to grab himself a drink just when Niall growls in annoyance.

“What is it?” you ask.

“They keep unmatching with me after we’ve talked a little!”

“Have you thought about the reason?” you smirk at him, knowing well that Niall probably isn’t the easiest to talk to, he surely takes it too far too soon.

“Well they probably don’t like that I ask them if I can go over,” he shrugs, making you laugh.

“You’d go over in the pouring rain?” Harry asks, returning to his spot on the couch. He puts his drink to the coffee table and instead of sitting into his previous position, leaning against the arm of the couch, he lies down, laying his head to your thigh, making your breath hitch for a moment.

“Of course not!” Niall rolls his eyes. “But I thought it would make them think I would do anything for them.”

“It makes you seem desperate,” Harry retorts, earning a questioning look from his friend. “What? It does!”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“Yes it does,” you nod in agreement. “Going over in the middle of a storm just to fuck? Sounds like you’re having a hard time finding someone.”

“Women are so fucking complicated, and for what?!” he growls, before storming off to his bedroom, like an angsty teenager, leaving you and Harry alone.

He doesn’t move, his head stays on your thigh using it as a pillow. His curls are tickling the soft skin on your thigh and you have to fight the urge to play with his hair or scratch his scalp. You stay like this for the rest of the movie and when he gets up you almost want to pull him back.

“Alright, I’m fucked, I’m gonna go to bed,” he yawns, stretching his arms out into the air as he heads into his bedroom. “Good night, Y/N.”

“Night, Harry!” you call after him as you watch his frame disappear down the hallway.

Sighing, you slide down on the couch, cursing under your breath that you’re still so hung up on Harry. You really thought that you had it under control, but lately those damn butterflies are acting up in your stomach at everything he does.

“I’m pathetic,” you mumble under your breath just as the sky rumbles outside with a blinding lightning, making you jump with a squeak. “Shit,” you huff, already knowing that falling asleep will be a pain in the ass. Again.

You’ve always hated storms, they make you think that something bad is about to happen, a tree is about to fall into the window or a lightning will blow up the building. It’s kind of stupid, you know it, but you just can’t help it.

Tossing and turning, you jump every time a lightning flashes somewhere outside and a few seconds later the thunder rips through your whole body, almost making you fall off the bed.

“Oh God,” you let out a shaky breath. You have no idea how long it is until the Storm finally stops and you’d really like to have a good night's sleep. So pushing your anxious thoughts to the side, you get out of bed and head over to Harry’s room once again.

It’s such a deja vu from a few nights ago, as you gently knock on the door you wait again, but this time you actually get an answer.

“Yeah?” you hear him call out from inside and you slowly open the door, peeking your head inside. Harry is lying in bed, his head propped up against the headboard as he is scrolling through his phone. “Y/N? What’s wrong?” he asks, putting the phone aside as he sits up.

“I just, I-I know it’s stupid, but I was thinking… I don’t know--”

“Y/N, just tell me, alright? Come on in,” he gestures for you and you slip into the room, closing the door behind you before sitting to the edge of the bed next to him. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t sleep during storms…” you admit, looking into his eyes, hoping he gets the hint where you want to head with it. He stares back at you for a moment before he scoots over, lifting the covers up, giving you the green light to join him.

Relieved, you climb over to him, making yourself comfortable as he wraps the blanket over you, his arm immediately coming to cradle you, this time pulling you to his chest so your head is laid upon his shoulder, a hand gently placed onto his hard chest, probably right above where his butterfly tattoo is adorning his abdomen.

This is now easily your favorite place. Safe and tight in Harry’s arms, protected from anything and everything, like you’re in a little bubble as soon as you get on his bed.

Lightning strikes outside again and you shiver a little. Harry probably notices it, because he tightens his hold around you, as if it’s his way telling you that he is here and nothing bad is gonna happen. Eventually, you’re able to shut the outside out and only focus on Harry’s warmth, the touch of his hand on your arm and his even breathing. And then finally, you drift off to sleep.

This morning is different from the previous one you spent here. There’s no alarm since it’s Sunday, neither of you have anything in particular to do, so you wake up feeling rested, the Sun shining through his half drawn in curtains, no trace of last night’s storm can be noticed from where you’re lying in bed, the sky is as clear as ever. Sometime during the night you got tangled in a way where Harry is the one now cuddling you, his head lying on your chest, hugging you as if you were a giant teddy bear, his leg thrown between yours, lightly snoring against your sleep shirt. You can only see his mop of hair and the urge to play with them is back, but this time, you give in.

Leaving one hand on his back, you move the other one to his unruly locks, gently playing with one before you comb your fingers through it, lightly scratching his scalp. Harry hums in pleasure, shifting from his dreams back to reality, but he doesn’t move, just keeps humming as you massage his scalp.

“It’s not a good morning, it’s the best,” he mumbles groggily, making you chuckle at his words.

One of his hands is flat against your ribcage and the damned butterflies start dancing when you feel his fingers gently stroke your side as you keep playing with his curls. This feels so idyllic, as if you’ve been like this forever. You wish that was true.

Groaning as he stretches, Harry rolls to his back, making you instantly miss his body pressed against yours. He rubs his eyes, sighing deep as he blinks up at the ceiling a few times, then he turns his head to the side, looking at you.

Just when he is about to say something, outside his door it sounds like someone just broke a pile of plates and it’s followed by Niall’s usual annoyed growl. You both get out of bed to go and check what happened, not even thinking about how it might appear that you both are coming from Harry’s room in the morning.

Harry flings the door open and there is Niall, collecting pieces of a plate from the floor, his breakfast scattered down the hallway as well while he curses under his breath.

“What happened?” Harry asks, picking up a bigger piece from the plate.

“Fucking tripped,” he growls back, glancing up just for a moment, then back down, but then he processes that you’re standing behind Harry, in his room, in the morning. “What the fuck are you doing in Harry’s room?” he bluntly asks, quickly forgetting about the mess he just made.

“What?” you ask nervously, your pulse quickening in an instant. Harry stands up, seemingly not too bothered by Niall’s question.

“You slept in his room?!”

“She did,” Harry answers, leaning against the doorframe.

“Wait, are you two fucking?” Niall’s eyes widen, snapping back and forth between you and Harry.

“Just because two people sleep in the same bed, doesn’t mean they are fucking, Niall,” Harry chuckles, seemingly amused by the situation that’s got your stomach knotted. Louis’ door opens and he walks out, his hair a little messy, but already dressed, a mug halfway filled with coffee in his hand.

“Wha’s this circus out here?” he asks, looking around, his eyes scanning over the mess on the floor.

“Did you know these two are fucking?” Niall asks him and Harry lets his head drop back at his words.

“Are you?” Louis simply questions and you shake your head no.

“We are not. Y/N can’t sleep in a storm so she came over to mine.”

“Funny, she doesn’t come to me when she’s scared,” Niall scoffs.

“I never came to you because you don’t understand that sleeping together doesn’t mean sex,” you retort, though your ears are practically burning from the rising anxiety inside you.

“Wait, whoa. This wasn’t the first time you two slept together?”

“She was scared after your stupid horror movie too,” Harry shrugs.

“Wow, so are you guys a thing now or what?”

“Niall!” Harry growls and you’re not entirely sure what bothers you more. Niall’s shock and interrogation or the way Harry seems so cool and unbothered, like it’s no big deal. Maybe because for him it really isn’t, it’s only about the sleeping, nothing else, even though the cuddles are a little beyond the lines of friendship.

“What? I’m just asking the important stuff! Am I not allowed to tell dirty jokes to Y/N because you’ll cut my prick off?”

“You shouldn’t tell those anyway,” Louis chimes in and you nod in agreement.

Seeing that the conversation is just getting more and more awkward with each passing moment you decide to pull yourself out of it. Pushing yourself past Harry you mumble an excuse me before rushing back into your room, the three boys eyeing you curiously as you shut the door behind you, finally putting a physical barrier between you and them.

You shouldn’t be this offended, it’s not like any promises were made and you should have known better and not fall for him more than you already did. It was silly of you to think that there was anything more behind these nights spent curled up against each other, or when you woke up tangled and melted together. It was never what you hoped it to be.

Then and there you decide it’s better if you distanced yourself from him, or at least go back to how it was before. No bed sharing, no cuddling and preferably no bitter feelings.

It all goes well, because you have a pretty busy week after that day, you always have something to do and it’s not like you spent the night with Harry randomly, so it was evident that you stayed in your room so far.

But about a week later another storm was threatening to strike. The sky was gradually darkening all afternoon and now it’s only five o’clock, but it feels like eight. It’s Sunday, you’re quite exhausted since you were working until three. Niall was out somewhere with some of his coursemates and Louis went home for the weekend, won’t be back until Tuesday. It’s just you and Harry, who’s been sprawled out on the couch in only his sweatpants while you’re making yourself an early dinner so you can go to bed soon and have a good night’s sleep.

It doesn’t take long for the rain to start pouring, you’ve just gotten out of the shower when the first thunder rips through the place, making you gasp in fear. Harry’s head snaps around, looking in your way where you’re standing at the bathroom door, a questioning look in his eyes, but he doesn’t say a word. Ignoring his gaze, you just make your way into your bedroom, not even thinking about what could be on his mind. Is he thinking about whether you’ll ask to sleep with him again or he doesn’t care about it at all?

By the time you are ready to go to bed, the storm is fully raging outside, making your insides tremble every time you see a lightning or the thunder breaks the quietness in the house. You make one last trip to the kitchen, finding Harry leaned against the counter as he eats an apple.

“Going to bed early?” he asks as you pour yourself some water.

“Mhm,” you nod, avoiding looking at him.

“Everything alright?”

“Sure, I’m just tired,” you force a small smile onto your face just when a thunder rumbles outside, making you jump. Harry is watching you curiously and kind of expectantly, but you’re doing your best ignoring it. Instead, you just grab your water and head back to your room. “Good night.”

“Night, Y/N,” he calls after you, and you can feel his burning gaze on your back right until you close the door behind you.

Your plan to sleep a good ten hours goes right out the window. It doesn’t seem like the storm is about to calm anytime soon, so you’re stuck to suffer through it on your own. You’ll be damned to go to Harry’s, that would be an instant heart break and you just can’t take that right now. Long, torturous hours pass by with you lying awake in bed and part of you wants to go running over to Harry, but you force yourself to stay. It’s not happening tonight.

You fall asleep sometime after two in the morning when the thunder and lightning have stopped. Unfortunately, you need to wake up early in the morning, so when your phone’s alarm shakes you out of your sleep, you feel like absolute shit. Dragging yourself out of bed appears to be the hardest thing right now. As you make your way out, you are met with an all too familiar figure sitting at the small dining table, two cups of coffees in front of him, one obviously made for you.

Harry’s eyes snap up at you curiously, taking in your terrible looks as you head to the bathroom.

“Morning,” you mumble under your breath.

“Good morning’,” he nods in your way and though he doesn’t say anything else, you can tell he has a few thoughts about your current state.

Once you’re done with your morning business in there you join him at the table, barely able to keep your eyes open.

“Rough night?” he asks, eyes examining your face.

“Kinda.”

“The storm?”

You don’t answer, just nod your head. He remains silent, but you can feel that he is dying to ask another question.

Why didn’t you come over?

You’re glad he doesn’t actually asks you, because you wouldn’t be able to give either a normal answer or say anything without starting to cry. Instead, you just grab your coffee and head back into your bedroom to get ready for the day.

That week on Friday all four of you are invited to a party. At first you want to cancel, but some of your friends from classes will be there too and it’s been ages since you’ve been to a great party, so you decide to tag along with the boys.

For the first half of the evening you go your separate way, spending time with people you don’t actually live with and see every day. One drink follows the other, though you make sure you don’t go farther than getting tipsy. You’re not in the mood to deal with a nasty hangover in the morning.

Sometime after your third or fourth drink you run into Niall and he pulls you into their little circle that also involves Harry. When he sees that you’ve joined them, his eyes light up and goes out of his way to get next to you.

“I haven’t seen you in ages!” he whines, slurring his words as he wraps an arm around your shoulders to keep you at his side. He is definitely drunk, that you’re sure of.

“It’s been just about two hours, Harry,” you roll your eyes, but can’t push your smile down. You’d be lying if you said you’re not enjoying having him so close. Your dynamic hasn’t been the same since you stopped sleeping in his bed. Not that it was such a regular activity, it only happened two times.

“But I missed you, I feel like we haven’t… haven’t talked in so long!” he huffs, knitting his eyebrows together. “Have you been avoiding me?” he asks leaning closer, so your conversation can somewhat be private.

“That’s silly. Of course I haven’t!”

“But it feels like that,” he pouts with glossy eyes. “You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?”

“Sure,” you nod, the bitter taste of lying filling your mouth.

“Alright, cool,” he smirks and pulling closer he kisses into your hair before he engages with the rest of the group again, keeping his arm around you as if it wasn’t a big deal.

For the rest of the evening you simply don’t leave his side and not because he doesn’t let you, but because you don’t want to. Harry is not the only one missing the other, this week you’ve noticed that even though you’ve been keeping yourself busy, your thoughts always took you back to one particular, curly haired boy. Despite everything that’s been going on, he is your friend first and foremost who you love spending time with and talking about anything and everything.

Both of you are intoxicated, Harry a bit more than you, but you’re having a blast playing beerpong or ruining Niall’s chances with girls he is trying to pick up. You’re genuinely having an amazing time and it wouldn’t be the same without Harry.

Arriving back home your little group splits, everyone using the bathroom after the other and you’re the last one in line, because you always take the longest. By the time you’re finished, Louis and Niall are both locked up in their rooms, but Harry’s door is still open, some dim lighting illuminating the hallway. As you approach it, you find him throwing his dirty clothes into the hamper, but his head perks up when he sees you.

“Good night, H,” you sigh, quite tired and in need of a good sleep, but before you could head into your own bedroom, Harry grabs your wrist and pulls you into his. “What is it?”

“Sleep here,” he simply prompts, already leading you to the bed.

“Why?”

“Because I want you to.”

“I-I… I don’t--” you stutter, feeling flustered from his offer.

“Come on, you can’t say no,” he tells you, already crawling under his covers and then he holds them up as the invitation.

Taking a deep breath you follow him and make yourself comfortable in your almost usual spot. Harry’s arm falls over your waist in an instant, spooning you from behind as he hums pleased. But a few moments later he lifts his head, looking at you with concern in his eyes.

“You know you can say no, right? I was just joking.” Looking back at him you give him a small smile. Even drunk he makes sure you aren’t doing anything you don’t want to, but how could you not want it? You’ve been aching to sleep next to him all week, especially after the last storm when you suffered alone in your room.

“I know, Harry.”

“Alright, okay,” he nods, his head dropping back to the pillow. “I missed this,” he mumbles with a sigh.

“Yeah?”

“Mm, sleeping alone sucks,” he hums and in a split second, your heart breaks.

Harry didn’t want to sleep with you, he just wanted to sleep with someone and you were the one there. It has nothing to do with you.

You want to blame him, you want it to be his fault that your chest is now aching, knowing that it truly doesn’t mean the same thing to him it does to you, but you know you can’t. It wouldn’t be fair, so once again, you’re left with a sinking heart wrapped up into Harry’s embrace that suddenly feels burning.

“Good night, Y/N.”

“Good night, Harry.”

When the morning comes Harry is still sleeping deep beside you, an arm thrown over your waist, puffing warm air against the side of your head with every breath he exhales. Seeing him so peaceful warms your heart, but then you realize everything that happened last night, how he only used you because you were available and not because he wanted you.

You don’t want to wait for him to wake up and face him, your emotions would surely bring the best out of you. So carefully, you unwrap yourself from his hold and sneak out of his room, back into yours.

There’s no way you can face Harry right now, so before he could wake up you leave, planning on spending the day in the library, working on your assignments, hoping the school work will take your mind off of how badly you’ve been friendzoned.

Sometime after eleven Harry actually texts you asking where you went and you just tell him you have a shitload of school stuff to deal with. He asks if he can join you, but you tell him you’re with a group of your classmates, even though you’re sitting in an almost entirely empty library. He luckily doesn’t push it and leaves you to be. Hopefully he’ll be fine when you take another step away from him for a while to get your head straight and sort your emotions out.

You get home quite late, but not late enough, apparently. Because walking into the house you find the boys clearly getting ready to watch a movie.

“Just in time!” Niall beams. “Join us, Princess!” he laughs, grabbing himself a cola from the fridge.

“Oh, no, I have some things to work on--”

“Come on, you’ve been in the library all day, you can have a break!” Louis tells you and you know you won’t be left alone, they are just so persistent.

So you join them in your usual spot, which is of course next to Harry, though you’re trying to avoid his gaze that hasn’t left you since you arrived and by now you’re certain he knows you’re avoiding him. There’s a reason why he asked you last night if you’ve been doing it lately, he is not stupid, but this is not the time to deal with it.

With your inner crisis bubbling inside you, you completely forget to ask what you’re watching. A few minutes into the movie it becomes quite clear however.

“Is this a fucking horror movie again?” you ask, snapping at Niall, who just starts laughing.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure Harry will gladly let you sleep in his bed tonight,” he teases, making your whole face heat up at his comment. Harry slaps his chest before he turns to you with concern filled eyes, but you pretend like you see nothing, turning back to the screen with your jaw clenched.

You’re fucked.

The movie is a fucking shitshow and leaves you traumatized. When it’s over, you think about why didn’t you just stand up and go into your room when you realized it’s another horror. For a change, this one was filled with demons and monsters that hide in the shadows, just what you need before going to bed. In the night. In a totally dark room.

Exiting the bathroom you’re already planning on watching something lighthearted and cheerful in your room, hoping that would make you forget the movie you just saw and give you the chance to actually sleep.

Walking past Harry’s room you see that it’s still open and you catch him expectantly looking at you when you appear in the doorway as you walk down the hallway, your eyes meeting for just a split second before you disappear from his sight and shut your bedroom door without a word behind you.

No matter how many random videos you watch on YouTube, some scenes from the movie are just imprinted into your mind and they have you trembling in fear. Every shadow looks like a demon or ghost, hiding in your room, ready to haunt and kill you and you’re on the verge of actually crying. It might not be only because of the movie, more like everything else that’s been bottled up inside you, added to the fear the movie has brought to you.

Shutting your eyes closed you try to take deep breaths and for a bit it actually seems to help, but that is until you hear the door opening. It gives you an instant heart attack and you can’t keep your tears back anymore.

A whimper leaves your mouth as the door opens and you can only see a shadow entering the room, totally not recognizing Harry in the dark.

“Y/N, hey, it’s just me! It’s okay!” he quickly clears, seeing how shaken up you are. He rushes over to the bed, one hand cupping your cheek, the other one finding your hand and before you could think, you grip it hard.

“You scared the living hell out of me!” you cry out, sobbing.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to check on you.”

Silence sets between the two of you that’s only momentarily broken by your shaky breaths as you try to calm yourself down.

“Why didn’t you come to mine after the movie if you were so scared?” he then asks, surprising you with how straightforward he is.

“I didn’t want to bother you,” you mumble, blinking the remaining of the tears away as Harry stares down at you intently.

“Why would you think you’d bother me? I like having you there.”

“But it’s… Doesn’t matter,” you sigh in defeat, but it just concerns him even more.

“No, tell me!”

“Harry, just go back to your room. I’ll be fine.”

“You definitely won’t and I’m not leaving until you don’t tell me what’s going on,” he protests firmly and you lose your patience to keep lying to him.

“You just wanted someone to sleep with yesterday, okay? You didn’t need me. And… I don’t want to depend on you more than I should.”

Harry stares back at you with a blank expression and you feel like this is going to be the end of your friendship. You have to come clean about your feelings and he’ll tell you that he doesn’t feel the same way. But then he speaks up and the tables turn faster than ever.

“Y/N, I wanted you to sleep with me last night. Not just anyone. You.”

“What?”

“I really thought we have been on the same page, but apparently, we’re not even in the same book,” he sighs, confusing you even more. “Wasn’t it suspicious how things have been between us lately? The way we slept, the mornings, did you think these are normal things to do?”

“I-I thought that… it didn’t mean anything to you.”

“Well it did,” he replies and you breath hitches in your throat. “I was trying to take it slow, see how you’d react to everything and I thought you were feeling the same way. But then last time you didn’t come to my room when there was a storm and I thought that was your way of telling me that you want to pause whatever’s been going on.”

You’re just blinking in shock, listening to his words. This is nothing you expected.

“But then you seemed like you opened back up last night and you agreed to sleep with me, thought we were back on track, but then you were nowhere to be found in the morning, avoided me all day and now you would have rather spent the night crying here alone than to come over to me. What did I do? Just tell me, because quite frankly, I have no idea what we are doing anymore, Y/N,” he sighs, clearly tired of this insane game you’ve been playing without even knowing.

“So… you did all of this, because… you…”

“Because I like you, Y/N. But there’s a possibility it’s already way more than just a strong liking,” he admits with a soft chuckle that melts you in an instant.

“Oh god, I could cry again, but not out of fear this time,” you tell him, making him laugh as you scoot closer to him on the mattress. “I feel the same way, Harry,” you softly tell him, your hands finding the base of his neck while his hands have wandered to your waist so now he is pulling you towards him until he ends up in his lap. His face is now so close, and even in the dark, you can see the cheesy smile on his pink lips.

“You’re not saying this just to keep me here because you’re scared to be alone, right?” he asks, clearly joking, earning a wholehearted laugh from you.

“No, but I guess that would be a major benefit of it.”

“I’ll protect you from all the demons and killers under one condition,” he smirks, his face already inching closer, his nose is already touching yours.

“Yeah? And what’s that?”

“I get to kiss you.”

“Deal.”

You barely say this one little word, his lips are already on yours, kissing you in a way that almost knocks all the air out of your lungs. You press yourself up against him, his arms curling around you, holding you tight as if he is already protecting you from everything that scares you, though you can’t really think about the stupid horror movies now that you’re kissing Harry.

He pulls you down with himself making you lie on your back as he holds himself up above you, his lips parting from your just enough so he can look into your eyes.

“How about I kiss you every time you feel scared?” he prompts, pecking your lips gently as you pull your legs up and his hips settle between your thighs, while your hands dance down his back.

“Alright, I’m in,” you smirk at him and for a moment he just stares back at you, smiling wide, in complete awe that it’s finally happening. Then he cocks his head to the side before speaking up.

“Are you still scared?”

“Very,” you nod. “I’m shaking.”

“Good,” he grins before his lips press onto yours again.

Thank you for reading! Please like/reblog if you enjoyed!

[drabbles-mc]

Busy (Part 2)

Horacio Carrillo x F!Reader

Part 1 can be found Here

Request by Anon: omggggg that Horacio fight angst + makeup tho -- that was so good. It felt so believable!! You should consider another part to it honestly it'd be so interesting to see. Like if Horacio keeps shutting her out/not being present at home, what actions she would take etc.

Warnings: 18+, language, angst, alcohol, angst

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: Guess who made themself sad with their own story. ☹️ But real talk I have been thinking about writing the sequel for a long time now. It wasn’t my original intention but once someone mentioned it, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Thanks for climbing aboard the angst train.

Narcos Taglist: @thesandbeneathmytoes​ @garbinge​ @bruxasolta​ @winchestershiresauce​ @sizzlingcloudmentality​ @alm0501​ @panagiasikelia​ @616wilsons​ @hauntedforsst​ @mirabee​ @buckybarneshairpullingkink​ @boomclapxox​ @nessamc​ @southotheborder​ @supersanelyromantic​ @padbrookcottage​ (If you want to be added to the taglist, let me know!)

Things got better at first. Like an emergency response to a natural disaster, the two of you pulled out all the stops in the wake of your last argument. The intentions were genuine, both of you wanting things to change for the better to make things work. You knew that it had gotten to him in a way that your other disagreements in the past hadn’t. There was something about you being lost and sad instead of angry that rattled him deeply. He knew that that sadness could quickly dissolve into you giving up, moving on. And that was something that he wasn’t prepared to handle. He didn’t want to think about it.

That wasn’t to say it was easy. But relationships took work, and realistically speaking you and Carrillo both had some work to do on yourselves as individuals outside of you as a couple. There were lots of small, tentative steps in the right direction. But it was progress, and it had given you hope.

Your husband was a creature of habit, though. And as days turned into weeks, and weeks stretched into months, and the stress of his job began to mount once more, you could feel the gap between you beginning to widen. The stitches holding you together after your last argument still too fresh to hold up under pressure. A knot began to grow and settle in your stomach as the days passed by. You hadn’t thought about the time going by until you were lying in bed one night, waiting for him to crawl in beside you, but you fell asleep before he did. You weren’t sure if that was better than when he was there but wouldn’t look at you or touch you. The rift between you expanding and causing your heart to fray at the seams all over again. You wondered when was the right time to mention it, when it could be a discussion instead of an argument that just resulted in him pulling away even more.

It was late, and you were sitting at the dining room table, paperwork spread out around you. You tried not to bring your work home with you, but you’d been slammed so you weren’t left with much of a choice. Besides, you figured it wasn’t going to impede on anything at home since Horacio was going to be late again. The coffee in the mug beside you had been cold for a while as you scanned over the files, trying to get everything in order.

You heard the sound of the front door opening, and it snapped you out of the bubble you’d secluded yourself in. Looking back over your shoulder, you waited for the sound of his boots against the floor. His arrival was the only thing that clued you in to how late you’d kept yourself up.

“You’re still awake,” his voice was soft, laden with exhaustion.

You nodded, absent-mindedly tapping your pen on the table as you watched him come closer, “Yea…lost track of time,” you paused, wondering if you should even bother asking him about his day. You couldn’t help it, though, “Everything alright?”

He nodded, but his eyes drifted from you as he walked towards the kitchen, “Everything’s fine.”

You watched him, a knot forming in your stomach as you saw him pulling one of the glass tumblers from the top shelf in the cabinet. He scanned over the bottles that were sitting on the counter, like he ever strayed from his usual.

“Horacio?” you were extremely mindful of your tone, not wanting to create a conflict if you could avoid it.

He didn’t turn around as he began to pour, “Mm?”

You took a slow, quiet breath, “It’s okay if it’s not, you know,” you gnawed at your bottom lip, “Everything doesn’t always have to be fine—you can still tell me.”

You couldn’t hear the sigh, but you didn’t have to. You saw the way that his shoulders rose and fell, the way that his head dropped just a little more. The sinking feeling inside you grew, the grip on your pen tightening because you had to channel the tension somewhere. You meant it well, you always did. It was so rare that he ever received it the way that you intended though, and you had a feeling deep in your gut that tonight wasn’t going to be a dramatic turn in the right direction.

“I said I’m fine,” he was firm, but not loud. The sharpness was an attempt to shut down any possible room for further discussion.

But you didn’t get this far in your relationship without developing your own stubborn streak. You carefully set your pen down on the table, interlocking your fingers and resting your chin against them. You didn’t say anything at first, waiting for him to be off-put by your silence and turn around. You knew him well, because it was only a matter of seconds before he put the top back on the bottle and turned back around to face you, a pensive look washing over his features.

“Okay,” you gave a small shrug.

“Okay?” if he was trying to hide his confusion, he was failing miserably.

“Okay,” you nodded, knowing that if you were going to try to be soft about it, he was going to find a way to weasel his way out of it. If you kept backing down every time he was short with you, nothing was going to change, “You say you’re fine? Okay—you’re fine,” you waited for his eyes to land on yours again, “But I’m not. I’m not fine.”

His facial expressions took him through the five stages of grief in rapid succession as he tried to figure out how he wanted to respond. He had a tight grip on his glass, but he didn’t lift it to drink. There was a slight tic in his jaw and you knew that he was fighting the urge to say something rash out of anger, something that he would most definitely regret once the words were out there and unable to be taken back.

He looked down into his glass, “I’m sorry.”

He wasn’t apologizing for his actions. If he had been, he’d be closer to you, looking at you. His tone would be just a touch more pleading, or just more emotional in general. He was saying that he was sorry, sure. But what he really meant was, I’m sorry you’re not fine, not I’m sorry I’ve made you, made us, not fine. His tone was just a bit too flat for you to be at all comforted by the words. Horacio Carrillo could do earnest, but that wasn’t it.

“I can’t do it. I can’t make you want to be honest with me,” you shifted your hands so that your thumbs were hooked under your chin, lips pressing against your interlocked fingers as you tried to pick your next words, “I’m tired, Horacio.”

He sat down at the table kitty-corner to you, finally taking a drink from his glass before responding, “I know.”

“Aren’t you?” you asked, hands falling to the table as you crossed your arms, covering up the mess of papers beneath you in the process.

The silence you were met with gave you all the answers that you needed. Even though your frustration with him fried you to the core on some days, more often than not lately, you still loved him. That never changed. If you didn’t love him, didn’t care about him and the life you were so desperately trying to build, you wouldn’t be sitting and having this conversation again. But you didn’t know how many times you were supposed to have it, how long you were supposed to hold out and wait for things to change. This wasn’t what forever looked like in your head when you had agreed to it.

“I love you.”

Your words brought a ghost of a smile to his face, a fleeting expression that disappeared as quickly as it showed up because he was afraid of what was going to follow that statement, “I love you too.”

“How long…” you stopped, the emotions that you tried so hard to keep in check knotting the back of your throat, “how long do we keep doing this?”

He froze. It was his turn to be looking at you while you looked anywhere but at him. He saw the slight quiver in your bottom lip, the way that you were trying so hard to keep your composure. You carried so much on your shoulders from day to day and he knew that, and yet he still found himself adding to that weight even though he didn’t mean to. He wanted to reach out and take your hand in his, but he was afraid to touch you, to make it all come crumbling down.

“You’re not happy,” the words were barely audible even against the silence of the house.

The exhale that slipped past your lips was painfully unsteady. Tears stung at your eyes and you tried to ignore them, hoping it would make them fade away. Dropping your face into your hands for a moment, you tried to get yourself together.

“I want to be,” you lifted your face from your palms and looked at him, eyes damp, “I love you so much and I, I want to be happy. I do. I swear. And I know…I know that sometimes you probably think I’m just being difficult or—”

“I don’t,” he didn’t let you continue the thought, “Things are difficult, but you aren’t.”

A touch of warmth spread through your chest at his words. Finally, some real honesty. But it didn’t change the circumstances. Wiping underneath your eyes, you asked, “Are you happy?”

He didn’t respond right away. You could see it in his eyes that he really was thinking about the answer to the question. It wasn’t the type of thing that he ever really asked himself. He had never been a person who was all that great at doing personal inventory. He knew when things were right, and when they weren’t. He knew when things were going the way they were supposed to, going smoothly, and there was a sense of contentment in that. But he never really stepped back and asked himself if he was happy. He had the things that he wanted for the most part. Sure, things weren’t perfect, but he still had you, so it would be implied that he was happy, right?

But as he sat there at the table, watching you twist your hands in an attempt to give yourself something to do besides cry, he wasn’t so sure. He loved you. There was nothing else in the world that he was so certain about as that. Maybe it just wasn’t enough though.

“I don’t know,” all he had left was his honesty, “But…I love you.”

A weak smile pulled at your lips, “I know you do,” you reached over, resting your hand over his, “I love you too.”

“Is it enough?”

Helpless was a new look on him, and it was one that absolutely broke your heart. What made it worse was that you weren’t sure. You weren’t sure if it was enough. You wanted it to be, but a relationship, a marriage, it needed more than just love.

You squeezed his hand, something to try and ground yourself as you fought back the sobs that were building deep in your chest. You took a slow, deep breath, “I…I don’t know.”

His eyes were zeroed in on the wedding band wrapped around your finger. You saw the slight movements in his jaw as he thought, as he tried to pull together what it was that he thought he was supposed to be saying. But he didn’t know, and you didn’t know either. This wasn’t the conversation you thought you were going to end up in, but here you were. You didn’t want to admit that maybe you’d been on track to arrive here for longer than you thought.

“Maybe we just need some time,” a tear slipped out and down your cheek as you spoke. You saw the way he nodded and you forced out the rest of your thought, “Some time away.”

His eyes flew from your hand to your face, and while you didn’t think you’d ever seen him experience genuine fear before, you were fairly certain you were looking at it now, “Time away?”

“You can’t do this right now, Horacio,” you gestured back and forth between the two of you, “You can’t be here. And I…I can’t keep pretending that it’s okay, that I’m okay.”

“But you can’t leave,” there was the earnestness you’d been wanting so badly for weeks.

You gave him a sad smile, “I’m not talking about fleeing Colombia. But I think that you need the space, and truthfully, I think maybe I do too.”

“Where would—”

“I’ll go stay with my cousin for a bit,” you knew that he was already thinking about the logistics of what you were saying, “I won’t be far.”

“For how long?”

You shook your head slightly, “Until we’re ready to really figure this out and get it right,” in spite of it all, you still had hope. You couldn’t just give that all up so easy. “I do love you, Horacio. And I don’t…I don’t want to give this up. But I’m so tired, and I can see that you are too. Maybe some time and some space to be our own people is the reset we need.”

You could see it in his eyes that he didn’t want to believe it. He wanted you home. He wanted to be the kind of husband that you needed. He wanted both of you to be happy. But he also knew that neither of you were, that you hadn’t been. He didn’t want you to be right, but he didn’t know what else to do. He didn’t want you to give up on him.

“And if it’s not?”

You let out a deep sigh, “Then we sit down and have another conversation that feels a lot like this. And we figure it out from there,” you looked over at him, “But we aren’t there. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

“I don’t like it.”

You laughed, sadness still weighing you down but you managed a laugh at the simplicity of his statement, “I know. I don’t either. But I think that maybe we have our own demons to battle before we start tackling the ones we made together.”

There was a long stretch of silence between you. You could tell by the look in his eye that he wasn’t going to fight you on it and run the risk of losing you completely. You had the fleeting thought that maybe he would come to find too much comfort in the time alone, that he would want to keep it that way. That was a gamble you had to be willing to take, the same way he had to be willing to take that gamble with you. He didn’t want to drive you away, and he hated feeling like he was about to hold the door open for you to leave, but he didn’t have the answer. He wasn’t what you needed and if some time to get through his own shit and regroup would make him that, then maybe it’d be worth the pain of the process.

“Promise me something?” he asked.

You nodded, “Anything.”

“Promise me you’re going to come back home.”

Your heart sank inside your chest, remembering when the roles were reversed not all that long ago, “I’m not running away from you. I promise.”

He wasn’t sure if he could really let himself believe you. But it was the only comfort that he had, “I know that I haven’t been what you’ve needed, that I haven’t always treated you right. But of all the mistakes I’ve made, I know that we weren’t one of them.”

The sentiment brought a smile to your face, “I don’t think we’re a mistake, Horacio. I think we’ve made mistakes, but I don’t think that’s what we are. Please don’t think that.”

“I love you,” it was as much a plea as it was a statement.

You ran your thumb over his knuckles, tears pooling in your eyes as your mind started conjuring up what the following weeks might look like, “I love you too.”