#they should probably both stop tying their self-worth to being seen as competent

[silverwhittlingknife]

Dick having a fear toxin nightmare where Azrael is his boss and Tim is a rival coworker

Tim: Dick! We've got a problem. Dick: Mr. Valley, this is Tim Drake. He's - Tim: Your worst nightmare, Dick! Dick: Problem? Tim: Not unless you call basing next year's projections on bad numbers a problem! Dick: Uh - Tim: This throws our whole budget out of whack, Dick! And the company's going to have to eat the difference! What were you thinking of? Dick (internally): The little rat knew what he was doing showing me up in front of Valley. And I should have had that promotion. (Nightwing 10)

anyway i love this nightmare. tim's evil little face. "the little rat." everybody in business clothes. for context this is a couple issues after nightwing 6 where dick's mad at himself for not solving the mystery of who murdered 21 people and he's low-key threatened by tim's relationship with bruce and he's decided that tim's a better robin, and meanwhile tim's convinced that dick's better at everything that matters.

a bit after this, tim will have a fear toxin nightmare in which dick thinks he's a loser:

Bruce: I should never have allowed Drake near the cape. He didn't have what it takes to be Robin. Dick: What a loser. (Batman/Scarecrow 3D)

anyway there is something wrong with both of them <3

[border-spam]

Leech Lord AU - Char Breakdown

Seifa A’rosk / Seifa Ur-Machina / Saint of the God King’s Mechanica

Bless u @nikyri-art​ and @lazulizard​ for the art! List of character traits and world-building facets for this character within my story. The Leech Lord Au is the one all other twins content I’ve written is set in.

Troy’s is HERE Tyreen’s is HERE

Note, ye asked and ye received. Literally my first OC ever, no clue what I’m doing, constructive feedback is 100% welcome.

Physical Details:

Right handed.

Very short, 4′11″, and rarely seen out of heeled boots.

5 years older than the twins, in her mid twenties when she came across the scabby looking rat who introduced herself as Tyreen.

Long auburn hair she usually wears in waves.

Right side shave, warm blue eyes, septum/eyebrow/labret facial piercings

Average bodyweight, hourglass shape.

Saint sigil tattoo between her shoulderblades.

Couple of small scars across torso, stab wound near navel, nicks across left ribs. 

Visible facial scar is paper thin and streaks across her right brow into her hairline. Tells everyone this was from a knife fight, but was actually from an echodevice she was trying to scavenge components from blowing in her face a decade ago. Figures she might as well try and get some intimidation points out of it.

Relaxed punk aesthetic she carries into her engineering uniform.

Usually covered in homemade jewelry.

Backstory:

Sei is a migrant junker/mechanic, and has been running a solo career as one since her late teens.

She has no memory of family, and doesn't care in the slightest. Figures she was probably sold into child labor before she was old enough to remember who they were. Loses no sleep over this and rarely gives it any thought.

Grew up traveling with her "Boss" (head of the scavenging ring who managed herself and the other skinny little kids she was raised with) between different rim planets including Pandora, scrapping and repairing tech while scavenging the thousands of ship husks dumped during the corporate wars.

Spent her formative years constantly surrounded by other children and teens who helped each other get each other through what should have been a relatively lonely existence, and developed a close family bond with many.

Retained contact with a lot of them in adulthood. They operate a network of mechanics and engineers across the system, a few of which come to work within the COV Mechanica when they realise she can offer safety.

Spent her childhood and teens learning the art of the deal from her boss, accompanying him on trade runs, market dealings, debt collections, anything and everything he figured would help her in the long term. Learned everything she could while accompanying him as a kid, like a filthy little sponge in too-big overalls and a runny nose.

Engineering and mech skills have been honed from years of pulling apart and crawling into junked ships, repairing and reselling on components for profit.

At 19, she had saved enough to purchase a shitty little rehashed transport ship from her Boss, and set out to start her own trade. They've kept in touch and are on friendly grounds. Still calls him Boss. Never actually learned his name, it didn’t matter.

Seifa spends years migrating between outer planets, building a reputation with her bartering and trade skills. Playing idiot traders like instruments, flirting her way into high profit deals, and starting bar fights. She doesn’t take part in them mind you, she’s a lady. She just starts them. 

It’s an easy way to get a group of “eager investors” to weed out the lesser competition, and leave you able to playfully manipulate yourself into the good graces of someone who’s too horny and pumped up on the hormonal rush of the fight to realise that they are the mark.

Moves to the next planet once she's outstayed her welcome, but always makes more friends than enemies.

At 25, finds a terrified and not remotely intimidating girl in a Pandoran junkyard, who pulls a gun on her. Tyreen tries to mug her with a shitty SMG that's clearly out of ammo, has a jammed trigger, and gets laughed at in response. Gets called a weird, stupid kid. Gets interrogated about how she is too old to be on Pandora and still alive if this is how clueless she is, so what’s going on? 

Ty breaks down into tears and begs to please, please get her some medicine. Her "Brother is so sick” and he's “all she has now”, and they've “no money, no supplies. It wasn’t meant to go like this, it shouldn’t have gone like this but they didn’t know what it would be like.." and in a rare moment of empathy likely routed in years of being around kids this stupid, and clueless, and dumb ... Seifa helps.

Traits: ✓ Positive x Negative:

✓ Confident, both in her appearance and knowledge.

Sei is a jack of all trades, master of none. Her range of knowledge is broad and useful, and her confidence stems both from her well maintained physical appearance, and general competency in most situations where she needs to be.

✓  Socially skilled, fast learner, adaptable. 

She’s been learning on her feet as long as she can remember, and is highly socially skilled, though a lot of her “nice” interactions can be a veneer. She holds people at arms length without them realising she’s not being as open and friendly as she appears.

✓  Self sufficient, reliable, trustworthy.

An adult lifetime of needing to rely solely on herself has left her highly sufficient, and very dependable. Seifa is the kind of person you call when you need something done, and don’t need to ask questions about how she gets you your results. You’ll get what you need.. just don’t hassle her about how she achieved it. You’ll be told to piss off, very clearly.

✓  Excellent negotiator, skilled in controlling conversations and manipulating others from years of trading for a living.

Seifa has been learning how to argue, shift conversations towards her own goals, and turn competitors on each other since she was barely able to carry a wrench. She’s an excellent dealer, and can drop into one of her many characters instantly when they’d help shift a contract towards her gain. Floozy giggling newcomer? Got it. Clueless naive big spender? No problem. Trade baroness about to crush your knuckles? Game on.

It’s something the twin strays she rescues are very interested in learning from her.

✓  Naturally friendly, and deeply caring for those she bonds with.

Sei is generally easy to get on with, between her decent set of social skills and ability to quickly read people, she comes across as quite friendly and overall pleasant to most people. She’s very slow to become genuine around others or show her caring side, an understandable side effect of the kind of life she’s lived, but her close friends are very close, and see her as one for life.

✓  Lawful Neutral.

 Morals are decent ( for a Pandoran) , and is always willing to help someone if it's not too much hassle or won’t put her out. Like the majority of people living on this rock however, she won’t put strangers before her own safety or wellbeing.

x  Very vain.

Sei will sacrifice functionality for style in the Mechanicum without a second thought, and will become frustrated and snappy if unhappy with her appearance and forced into social situations. She’s had a lifetime of curating her looks and using them as a tool, and hates being seen “out of character”.

x Self focused. 

She won’t risk harm physically or to her reputation for someone she has no stake in. Fact of life on Pandora is that people who do that don't tend to live very long, and she’s highly aware of that. Close friends and children are about it when it comes to who she’d take a risk for, and bandits slaughtering each other or ransacking towns is unlikely to be something she’d be very phased by. It’s not that she doesn’t care, she just doesn’t allow herself to.

x Irritable, easily brought to frustration or insulted. Holds grudges badly.

Seifa manages her collected and cool outer demeanor by pushing it over her emotional state. It’s a defense mechanism she’s learned from a lifetime of being in situations where emotion = weakness. Her high personal opinion of herself and pride in her skill means she takes to being insulted very easily. A subordinate who doesn’t show her respect won’t stay in her department long, and an equal who treats her like an underling? She will Never. Let. It. Go.

x Snappy and unpleasant when stressed or overworked, unable to handle emotion based arguments.

Seifa’s response to stress or frustration is to become overwhelmingly in control of the situation, and fiercely logical. Her social niceness evaporates and she defaults to the simple level of “Get this shit done NOW, and don’t question me” when it comes to dolling out required tasks. This is a bad thing to couple with arrogance. She is also completely incapable of arguing with someone who uses emotion instead of logic as their drive, and so while she is able to communicate with Troy very well even in heated times as they both default to logic, arguments between herself and Tyreen can become vicious, as neither is capable of expressing themselves in the other’s language when frustrated.

x Loyalty to close friends can overpower her better judgement in situations.

She’s completely aware of the hypocrisy of this weakness considering the front she likes to portray, being cold and unaffected by problems, but has never been able to stop herself from making this same mistake. Over and over.

x Noticeably arrogant, no respect for the chain of command.

Relying on her gut for survival through her life left her with an inflated sense of worth for her own opinion, and she finds it very hard to really convince herself that others may be the better option, or have more value than her own. This means she can also easily forget her place if she thinks a superior is in the wrong. Has earned her a stab to the abdomen and a broken wrist in the past. Both healed, both scarred. Her arrogance towards the twins, being that they are younger and far less experienced than her in general life, has caused multiple confrontation. She know’s it’s a problem, and she’s trying to get better. She really is.

Likes:

Money.

Personal freedoms.

Self reliance.

Feeling admired and appreciated.

Close companionships with friends who see her as an equal.

Her advice being heeded.

Growing plants.

Tinkering with smalltime tech and gadgets.

The safety of the COV meaning she can finally settle in one place.

Respect.

Being wanted, physically and emotionally.

Tenderness.

Gaming, watching movies, appreciating art. 

Crafting jewelry from scrap

Having her gentle, caring nature be valued.

Men.

Dislikes:

Bullshit. Can't stand people who don't communicate logically.

Being spoken down to.

Her appearance being mocked or intelligence belittled.

Social sycophancy.

Being lied to, having her trust broken when she so rarely gives it.

Unfairness, aimed at her or those she feels protective over ( friends, underlings )

Pointless violence.

Risk taking.

Most things considered *edible* on Pandora.

Men. -

Asks are Open!

[lovemesomesurveys]

What shows are you into? There’s several. I don’t feel like listing them. What’s your claim to fame? Uhh. I have no idea what people would know me best from or for.  Are you usually early or late? Early. I hate being late. How often do you people watch? Depends where I’m at.  What do you hope never changes? My family dynamic. 

What’s your dream car? I don’t have one. What songs have you completely memorized? There’s several. What job would you be terrible at? Any job I feel like. What skill would you like to master? I don’t know. What are you absolutely determined to do? I haven’t felt determined to do anything in awhile. ;/ What would you rate 10 / 10? It Chapter 2. Where would you rather be from? I like being from California. What’s your favorite drink? Coffee. What quirks do you have? *shrug* How often do you play sports? I don’t at all. What website do you visit most often? Tumblr. What movie title best describes your life? I don’t knowwww. What age do you want to live to? Blah. What takes up too much of your time? Worrying/stressing. What do you wish you knew more about? Life. How different was your life one year ago? Mostly the same, with some additions.  What’s the best single day on the calendar? December 25th. What are some things you’ve had to unlearn? Hmm. What’s your favorite genre of book or movie? For books I like YA/NA, contemporary, mystery, psychological thriller. For movies I like comedies, romantic comedies, dramas, psychological thriller, horror, some action, some sci-fi.  What’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home? Atlanta, Georgia. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should? *shrug* Where is the most interesting place you’ve been? I’ve been to a few places I’d consider interesting. What fad or trend do you hope comes back? I’ve noticed a lot of 90s trends have and continue to come back, which is cool.  What’s the best way to start the day? Coffee. There’s no other way. What kind of art do you enjoy most? I like to color? What would your perfect room look like? Something cute and cozy. What fictional place would you most like to go? Derry, Maine. ha. What have you only recently formed an opinion about? Uhhh. What is the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen? Hard to say what the most heartwarming thing I’ve seen ever is, but recently my mom, brother, and I have been watching Serengeti, this wildlife documentary on Discovery (truly amazing, definitely would recommend!), and there’s this baboon, Bakari, who ends up taking in this baby baboon as his own after the mother was killed (who Bakari was in love with, but he and the leader had issues and he was kicked out the group, so they kinda snuck around together and he’d compete for her love) and it was just really sweet. He had no idea what he was doing as a single dad, but he just took the baby in and did what he had to do.  What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way? Hm. I feel like I kinda am old fashioned with some things, but of course I’m failing to think of an example at the moment. Would you rather go hang gliding or whitewater rafting? Neither. Both sound terrifying.  Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished? My younger brother. He’s 20 and already accomplished so much more than I have.  How do you relax after a hard day of work? I don’t work. All my days are spent mostly in bed doing the same few things. But don’t confuse that for relaxing. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch? Hm. I can’t think of something I refuse to watch. Of course there’s stuff that just doesn’t interest me or that I think looks absolutely ridiculous, but I’m not outright refusing it. Where would you spend all your time if you could? At the beach. What would be your ideal way to spend the weekend? Relaxing at the beach. I actually wish I owned a beach home and could at least relax near the beach on my private balcony. What’s the best way a person can spend their time? Doing something they enjoy. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on? A Safari adventure. What pets did you have while you were growing up? Dogs and fish. What job do you think you’d be really good at? I don’t know. What’s the most interesting piece of art you’ve seen? Uhhh. Where is the most relaxing place you’ve ever been? The beach. What are you most likely to become famous for? Nothing. I don’t want to be famous either. What’s worth spending more on to get the best? I think stuff like computers, phones, cars... What age do you wish you could permanently be? I’d like to just stop aging now. What is special about the place you grew up? My family is here. Otherwise, I don’t like this city at all. What do you consider to be your best find? Hmm. When was the last time you climbed a tree? Never. What city would you most like to live in? I don’t know, but not this one. What is the luckiest thing that has happened to you? I don’t believe in luck. What’s the best thing that happened to you last week? I saw It Chapter 2 this past Friday. What’s your favorite piece of clothing you own / owned? All of them, which I have and keep them. I need to get rid of some, though. :( What is the most annoying question that people ask you? My previous pain specialist doctor always asked me about why I wasn’t working, what my plans were, and other stuff that just made me feel like crap and I hated it because I’m like, uh... you’re my doctor, you know what I’m dealing with and all my medical history. You should be more understanding. What is the most impressive thing you know how to do? Nothing. What was the best book or series that you’ve ever read? There’s been many. What is the most annoying habit that other people have? I hate when people feel the need to comment something negative on a post or YouTube video or something. Like they just feel compelled to leave something mean and nasty and I’m just like why? What are you looking forward to in the coming months? Cooler weather! What are some small things that make your day better? Coffee and silly, cute moments with my doggo. What one thing do you really want but can’t afford? A beach home, ha. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of? I’d say ASMR, but it’s becoming more well known now.  Why did you decide to do the work you are doing now? I’m not working. What state or country do you never want to go back to? I haven’t been anywhere that I wouldn’t want to go back to. What are you most looking forward to in the next 10 years? Blah. What game or movie universe would you most like to live in? Hmmm. If you suddenly became a master at woodworking, what would you make? I had a wood shop elective in like 6th grade and I made a dollhouse. Cool story, I know. What amazing thing did you do that no one was around to see? Nothing comes to mind. What hobby would you get into if time and money weren’t an issue? Travel. If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time? I’m glad for the time I sleep. I like sleep. Some days drag on long enough. When people come to you for help, what do they usually want help with? People don’t really come to me anymore for help. Where do you usually go when you when you have time off? All my time is time off and I spend majority of it at home. What question would you most like to know the answer to? I don’t know. Like, “will I ever get better” comes to mind, but I’m terrified of the answer so it’s best I don’t know. Unless the answer was yes, ha. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives? Travel. What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to? I don’t know. What gets you fired up? People who abuse other people, especially children, and animals. What risks are worth taking? If it’s something that could have a positive, beneficial outcome for you or if it’s something you love. What do you take for granted? I don’t mean to, but I probably take my family for granted sometimes.  What do you have doubts about? My health and my life. What fact are you resigned to? Uhh. What book impacted you the most? The Bible.

What’s the best thing about you? Blahhhhh. What are you addicted to? Caffeine. When do you feel truly “alive”? When I’m at the beach is the only time I feel that way and actually feel relaxed. Who inspires you to be better? Sigh. What makes a good life? For me, personally, it would be having good health (mentally and physically). I think a lot of other things would follow if I had that. If all jobs had the same pay and hours, what job would you like to have? I. Don’t. Know. What irrational fear do you have? Killer whales is one of them. Have you ever saved someone’s life? I don’t think so. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve learned? A few of the things I’m dealing with could have been prevented, but I was stupid and stubborn and neglectful. What’s something you are self-conscious about? Everything. What is one of your favorite smells? The ocean air is one of many. What do you like most about your family? I have an amazing, loving, supportive, encouraging, caring, and funny af family. They’re the best. What is the “holy grail” of your life? I want better health. Have you ever given to any charities? Yes. What’s the last adventure you went on? The gondola ride that took us up 9,000 ft was pretty adventurous for me. I did that on my birthday. What are three interesting facts about you? If any of you have been reading my surveys long enough you know enough about me by now and know I’m not very interesting. What was the best compliment you’ve received? Hm. What chance encounter changed your life forever? Ty always comes to mind with questions like this. What do you want your epitaph to be? I’ll be cremated, so. What do you want to be remembered for? I guess it doesn’t matter. What is something you will NEVER do again? Probably drink alcohol. I mean, it’s impossible, but as of now I have no desire at all. What are you most likely very wrong about? I don’t know. What stereotype do you completely live up to? People who don’t understand mental health and chronic issues I’m sure think I’m just lazy. What dumb accomplishment are you most proud of? I got an awesome collection of giraffe stuffed animals. ha. Not dumb to me, but I’m sure people think for a 30 year old it’s lame but I don’t care.  What was the most memorable gift you’ve received? Many throughout my life. What is the biggest lesson you never learned? Uh. What’s the most immature thing that you do? I’m a big baby. Who is / was your most interesting friend? Ty was. What do people think is weird about you? A lot of things, I’m sure. What chapters would you separate your autobiography into? I have no idea. My life is boring. What do you hope your last words will be? Not something I’ve thought about. What do you spend the most time thinking about? My health and my life in general. What is something you can never seem to finish? All my food most of the time. Except for sandwiches. What mistake do you keep making again and again? Health related things. What’s the best thing you got from your parents? They’ve given me a lot of things throughout my life. What is the strangest thing you have come across? I don’t know. What would a mirror opposite of yourself be like? There’d be a happy, confident, outgoing, healthy person. What’s the best and worst thing about getting older? Getting old sucks, man. What would be the scariest monster you could imagine? The depression monster. What is something you are certain you’ll never experience? Good health, a love life, real happiness... What challenging thing are you working through these days? Health stuff like I’ve mentioned several times. What’s one responsibility you really wish you didn’t have? Bills. What do you wish your brain was better at doing? Producing serotonin.  If your childhood had a smell, what would it be? The smell of Playdoh always reminds me of childhood. I was obsessed with Barbies, but that doesn’t have a smell. Perhaps maybe crayons and sunshine as well. Big shocker: I actually spent a lot of time playing outside as a kid.  In your group of friends, what role do you play? I don’t have a group of friends. Which of your scars has the best story behind it? Majority are surgery related, but there’s a few others from different things. What have you created that you are most proud of? I make pretty bowls of Ramen. ha. What were some of the turning points in your life? There have been a lot.

“Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road...” What bends your mind every time you think about it? There’s a lot of fascinating things. What is something that your friends would consider “so you”? People associate me with giraffes, coffee, the beach, fall, and Alexander Skarsgard. What’s something horrible that everyone should try at least once? Uh, I don’t know? If you had a personal flag, what would be on it? Nah. As the only human left on Earth, what would you do? Go insane. What stat for your life would you most like to see? None. What did you think you would grow out of but haven’t? Hmm. What are three of the most significant numbers in your life? I’ve always liked the number 8. What’s the best and worst piece of advice you’ve ever received? Blah. What song or artist do you like but rarely admit to liking? I’m not ashamed of any of the music I like. What annoys you most about the in-groups you are a part of? I’m not apart of any groups. What small gesture from a stranger made a big impact on you? I have no idea. I don’t interact much with strangers. What are some of your personal “rules” that you never break? I drink coffee everyday. That’s very important, ha. If your life was a book, what would its title be? I have one, but it’s a play on words of my last name and I don’t want to share that. Among your friends or family, what are you famous for? I’m not famous for anything. What’s the title of the current chapter of your life? Perhaps trials and tribulations. What do you strongly suspect but have no proof of? Uhhh. What do you regret not doing or starting when you were younger? I just wish I took better care of myself and didn’t neglect some things. I wish I took some things more seriously and others less seriously. As you get older, what are you becoming more and more afraid of? Losing my parents and never getting better/getting worse. In what situation or place would you feel the most out of place in? I feel out of place in life. What personality trait do you value most and which do you dislike the most? About myself or others? For myself, I will say I like my sense of humor and that I’m a child at heart. Wow, I found something positive to say about myself. As for dislike, that’s much a longer list. What would you do if you knew you were going to die in one hour? I would spend it with family, but also being incredibly sad and scared. What are some of the events in your life that made you who you are? Everything? If life is a game, like some people say, what are some of the rules? It. Goes. On. Time doesn’t stop for anyone. It doesn’t play by your rules. There are two types of people in this world. What are the two types? Is there, though? What lifestyle change have you been meaning to make for a while now? I need to take steps towards improving some things about myself and working on things, but I haven’t.  What question can you ask to find out the most about a person? About their interests.

What can you not get right, no matter how many times you try? This thing called life. When people look at you, what do you think they see / think? Yikes. If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? I’ve had my name for 30 years, I think I’ll keep it. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve done that actually turned out pretty well? I can’t think of anything.

[wivibook]

“Hey Sam”

The following short was writing for the character Sam from my book Wild Imaginations and Vague Ideas as a look at the character prior to the events in WIVI (as the title is lovingly shortened). To learn more about WIVI and Sam give us a follow or check out the website linked below!

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              “Hey Sam! Guess what we’re going to do today?!”

               “Something I’m going to have little to no say in?”

               “You guessed right!”

              Sam was stocking shelves at his father’s store when Alan walked in looking to avoid doing work on the farm he should have been at. Sam sighed, “Well, can it wait for a bit? I’m in the middle of something, and I can’t just bail on my dad today. He’s in a foul mood because someone new moved into town, and it looks like they’re opening a competing place.”

              “Yeah I saw! The family with the pretty dark skinned girl with the crazy tight curls that are dark at the roots and yellow at the tips, right?”

               “I see what you’ve been paying attention to.”

               “She runs around like a hurricane, how could I not?”

               “I mean, you could just not. Anyway, wait outside. You’re going to distract me.”

              “Fine, but only because I’m your friend, and you love me, and you know it. Your dad loves me too, so I think you could get away with me being a distraction, but I’ll humor you,” Alan said as he rushed himself back outside only to stop in the doorway. “Hey, Sam?”

               “Yes, Alan?”

               “You know you actually can and do have a say in the thing, right?”

               Sam chuckled, “Yes, Alan.”

               “Cool.” And he was finally out the door.

              Alan had known Sam for all of his life, and Sam had known Alan for all the parts of his life he could remember. They were only about a year and a half apart in age. In all that time Sam had known him, not once had he actually ever minded anything Alan wanted to do. Often Alan, pushed him to the edge of his comfort zone (he’d gone through a stealing phase that Sam was dragged into when Alan was and eight and Sam was nine, almost gotten them killed in a river when they were early teens, and even now Alan got Sam to bounce out of work early every now and then), but Alan never on purpose pushed Sam further than he was willing to go (he never made Sam steal though just knowing Alan did gave Sam sever anxiety, and the river thing was a bad idea they both were attempting to back out of). Besides, Sam worried if Alan didn’t bring him to the edge of his comfort zone, then he may never even get close to it.

              In a way, Sam felt lucky to have Alan. Alan was a good friend. A little clueless, rather bold, and far too carefree sometimes, but a good friend. He had more faith and confidence in Sam than Sam had in himself. Most of all, he enjoyed being Sam’s friend, and Sam, less obviously, really enjoyed being his.

​

​

               “You took a whole hour!” Alan exclaimed when Sam finished and came outside to see what he wanted.

               “I took perhaps twenty minutes. Do I need to glue an hourglass to your hand or something?” Sam retorted.

               Alan admitted, “Ah, if you did I’d just play with turning it over and over and it wouldn’t do any good.”

               “That’s fair. So what did you want to do?”

              “I’d like to ask you to help me keep from getting horribly lost while I try to find a new spot!” Alan exclaimed enthusiastically. Of course he’d only given a partial answer but didn’t seem to notice its vagueness himself.

              “I’m going to need a little more elaboration on that. What spot are you looking for? Where are we going to find it? And most importantly, why?”

              “I am looking for a spot to dream. Not sure where we’ll find it yet, so we’re going to look all over. And the why is just because I need it.”

               “Need or want?”

              “Sam, sometimes a want shakes you to the fiber of you being and that’s how you know you’re going to need it to make life worth living.”

              “And you want me to keep you from becoming lost in an area you’ve lived in your whole life while you look all over for this life changing spot?”

               “Please.”

               “I’ll go get some rope.”

​

​

              Sam followed Alan through meadows and fields, along a creek, and even through a couple of farms they probably shouldn’t have been on. So far they hadn’t covered any new ground that Alan could have possible have gotten lost on, and Sam was pretty sure he was really just there for company. Eventually Alan ran out of familiar places and started leading them into a nearby wood.

               “Hold on,” Sam said, taking the rope out.

               “Oh, right, so we don’t get lost?”

              “More like so I don’t lose you,” Sam said tying a portion of it around his wrist and then tying the other end to Alan.

               “A leash? Am I a dog?”

               “More like an untrained puppy.”

               “You’re right. Dogs are smart.”

               “Don’t self-deprecate. You’re just… enthusiastic.”

              “Thanks Sam. That was a kind way of putting it,” Alan said as he took off into the woods and dragged Sam along after him. It was very much like walking a puppy. Alan wandered around with no care for any sort of path or consistency, which quickly brought them away from familiar territory. Occasionally, he would stop abruptly and examine a space only to take off again without any warning. Sam in turn would force Alan to come to a stop to mark the ways they took with extra bits of rope and undo any of that work if they doubled back, which Alan did frequently and often without noticing. Both of them would go through lazy periods where Alan would tucker them both out and rest, and Alan would often forget which way they’d come from when he picked himself back up again. Sam was starting to see how Alan would have likely lost track of himself without him.

              “Since nothing has caught your eye yet, may I ask if you’ve at least gotten a better idea of what you’re looking for?” Sam asked as Alan hung from a tree branch and stared off into whatever was happening in his mind.

               “Someplace quite enough to dream but loud enough to feel awake in,” Alan answered cryptically.

               “Alan, I don’t think you’re going to have a lot of luck finding—“

               “Wait, do you hear that?”

               “No.”

               “Then listen harder! I think I hear water. Come on!”

              Sam felt Alan tug at the rope that linked the two of them as Sam hurriedly attached another bit of rope to a tree. His hands had barely left the knot when Alan’s pull caused him to stumble along after him.

              Alan tended to go through three phases of excitement that Sam had picked out at a young age. There was Alan’s initial excitement that he got when he conceived an idea and set out on it, and then there was fading excitement, which usually set in when Alan got tired or when he realized what he was trying to do really entailed. Usually his fading excitement would end with a second wind of excitement when something interesting happened that renewed Alan’s hope, renewed his energy, and made him damn near impossible to keep up with. Sam hope that this second wind fueled by this water sound he personally could not hear would resolve itself without much of a fuss.

              While Sam was musing upon this, Alan managed to trip down a hill, sending both of them tumbling downward. Sam became twisted in the rope that connected them during the fall, and landed in some mud at the bottom the hill. Two were rolled up so tightly that he ended up face to face with Alan.

               “Hello there Sam!”

               “Hi Alan,” Sam responded flatly.

              Sam and Alan unrolled themselves from each other, and Sam wished that Alan would slow down long enough to think about what he was doing. Sam didn’t mind Alan’s ways and attitudes much, even when he ended up getting dragged around (literally in this case) because Sam held firmly to the belief that sometimes friends just had to put up with each other. That being said, sometimes Alan’s antics were draining.

              “Hey, look! My accident put us at the stream!” Alan exclaimed as he pushed himself off of the muddy ground having freed himself from the tangle of rope.

              “So it did,” Sam mumbled. Alan’s luck had managed to amaze Sam even though he should have seen something like that coming. Luck had inexplicably always been on Alan’s side. Sam freed himself from his own rope bindings to stand next to Alan and look at the quaint little stream that they’d fallen upon. Sunlight peaked through the trees and made the clear water sparkle as it babbled across the pebbles and stones that filled its shallow depths at a meandering flow. The forest around the stream was a painting of emerald greens and chestnut browns. On the other hand, the ground they stood on was a carpet of mossy greens and dark black dirt.

              Speaking of the dirt, Alan was doing that weird thing he did where he just dug his toe into the ground and played in it. He’d done it for as long as Sam could remember, but he’d always been too worried he’d embarrass Alan to ask why. As far as Sam could tell, Alan dug his foot into the ground when he was happy, sad, lost in thought, anxious, and sometimes just hungry. It was just something Alan did, and Sam assumed it made him comfortable to some degree. In this case Sam was willing to interpret it as Alan having found his “spot”.

              Alan confirmed this theory when he started raving. “It’s perfect! Look at it! It’s nice and cool here, the ground is soft, and the stream is clean; it’ll be so comfortable. I’ll have to find a nice log to sit on, but there’s lots of room for that, and I’ll still be able to pace and have all the movement I need to think and—“

               “It’s quite enough to dream and loud enough to feel awake?” Sam suggested.

               “Yeah,” Alan agreed dreamily with a lopsided grin that Sam was so accustomed to on him.        “Hey, Sam?”

               “Yes, Alan?”

               “Thanks.”

              Sam felt like he hadn’t really done much except follow Alan into trouble, but maybe that was all Alan really needed or wanted. Either way, Alan had slowed down just enough to thank him. Maybe that’s all Sam wanted and needed too. The two listened to the stream as they stood together in the beauty of the woods and avoided going back because, despite their best efforts, the two were likely a little lost.

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